#like i don't know how to phrase how much i respect them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

floydira · 9 months

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₊˚﹒✶﹒trolls headcanons .ᐟ

brozone, creek & king trollex with a reader going through a breakdown, overthinking and panicking and how they deal with them.

note ; I somehow(?) accidentally deleted the person's ask for this. I don't remember exactly what they asked word for word. (I'm down on my knees apologizing to you rn, I'm so sorry anon 🙏) so hopefully based on my memory this is at least close to what you asked for. I also hope this headcanon is to your liking.

☆★﹒🎧 ﹐BROZONE

John Dory

erm. well. let's just say when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions, he's not really the best guy to depend on...

BUT considering he spent years by himself (and rhonda) with no other socialization, plus leaving his brothers behind and coming back to them after awhile out of conscious but seeing them nowhere to be found, he definitely felt lonely and HAD his own breakdowns before.

so he'd understand how you're feeling, or at least try to understand.

when he first saw you breaking down, his first instinct was to ask you questions "why are you breaking down?" "did something happen?"

if he doesn't get a reply from you, he'll respect your boundaries and not ask any further questions. he'll just focus on comforting you in the present, awkwardly patting your back and giving you words of affirmation that he thinks would work. like those motivational phrases or quotes online, maybe even those ones that facebook moms use.

if you do give a reply, he'll sit down next to you and hear you out. sipping a drink and lending his ears for you to vent. he'll keep quiet (internally, he's restraining himself from outing his own opinions on whatever you vented to him about).

In summary, he's a listener. If you let him voice his own opinions, he'll tell you his thoughts and views. more often than not, if he does give advice, it's probably best you don't actually follow them. I feel like he's bad at giving advice...

at least, he's got the spirit!

Spruce/Bruce

this troll has a wife and kids. I'm sure he's knowledgeable in comforting someone when they are breaking down or overthinks a lot.

if you're overthinking, he'll support you and keep you company but he's also honest that helps you actually evaluate your overthinking thoughts and not stress too much about them.

once you come to him looking vulnerable, he'll immediately try to soothe you by rubbing your back gently. yk like those back rubs that puts babies to sleep? yeah, he'll do that.

while he rubs your back, he urges you to take a deep breath and let it all out. so you do. unknowingly you ranted and ranted, every little detail spoken word to word. he just has that affect on people.

lets you know that what you're going through is valid.

once you're all done, he'll give you advice to ease you or if you're not looking for advice, he'll just comfort you until you feel better.

Clay

he literally is in a sad book club, he'll have the knowledge about it and how to deal with it. except...he's slightly bad at executing it.

he'll snap you out of overthinking by yelling positive stuff to you, that are actually...effective???

if you rant to him, he'll listen to you attentively and pat your head afterwards. it's just something natural that he does, honestly head pats are soothing ok.

if you're okay with physical touch, he'll caress your face while giving you actually reassuring words. (LIKE. have you SEEN him literally pinching and squishing branch's face when he first met him after 20 years?!) of course, it's effective, combined with his already nice vibe (I feel like he naturally has a healing presence, he's just a sweet little boring cutie)

his method of comforting you naturally makes you feel better. he doesn't have to try hard because just watching his body language and mannerisms are dorky enough that it'll make you smile. he's unknowingly comforting in a silly dorky way. even with how badly he persists to be a very "serious" guy.

he'll definitely give you a big warm hug after everything.

Floyd

he's literally called the sensitive one. out of the brothers, he's definitely the one who understands you the most.

I don't think I even need to explain, you already know how perfect he is with dealing with stuff like that. like the time he talked to veneer about how his sister treats him and how he shouldn't let her be like that to him.

his face is full of worry if he sees you in a vulnerable state.

he literally gives the best hugs, it's canon, I know it's canon.

this emo mf knows exactly the right words to get you out of your vulnerable state for a while (bc the phrases he gives to others are probably what he wants to hear given to him).

he'll be really patient with you and help you with every step along the way even if you're having a hard time changing your bad traits.

he's also attentive at listening, he'll caress your hands with his thumb with a reassuring smile.

he'll be really sweet at tackling your situation and never makes you feel overwhelmed.

will cry with you tbh.

he's kind of helping himself when he helps you, because he's similar in a way.

Branch

branch was quite the panicker himself during the times when bergens ate trolls.

so he'd also know how to help you deal with it because he understands you.

he had to figure it out himself and was mostly alone to deal with his own vulnerability so he's happy to help you.

he'll look calm, composed and collected externally but even he, himself is slightly panicking on the inside. afraid that he'll let you down or he won't be of much help. don't worry though, he has it all put together after a bit.

If you're panicking, he'll help you focus, calm down and ease your hyperventilation.

"concentrate on your breathing, okay?"

once you've calmed down, he'll provide you with reassuring words.

he'll keep you company and stay with you until you feel composed enough to talk about it with him. he'll lend you an ear.

afterwards, he pats you on the shoulder and gives you advice that worked on him before.

━━━━━━━━━━

Creek

as bad as he is, he's literally the best when it comes to relaxation. he has that zen-like wisdom, so he'll calm you down and help you relax if you're panicking or overthinking too much.

just like floyd, he also knows exactly what to say to reassure or cheer someone up.

he'll give you a more positive outlook on whatever happened to you so that you don't overthink it.

tbh his voice itself is enough to calm you down.

he encourages different methods and ways(that he knows of) to you that could help.

King Trollex

this sweet goober offers you all his emotional support.

he feels upset, if you're upset. he's all frowny when he sees you vulnerable.

"can I give you a hug?" ofc he asks for consent.

will hug you tightly (he thinks hugs are a remedy for everything, besides music), quiet sobs are heard as his face is smooshed against your chest. just like bruce, he'll also rub your back soothingly while hugging you.

Intertwines both of your hands and encourages you to put your thoughts into words so that he knows what's going on that head of yours that's overthinking a lot of stuff.

keeps eye contact with you as you rant to him.

"you can get through this." he'll say with his cute smile.

the most he can provide is listening and comfort. he wishes he could help you more.

824 notes · View notes

hyuuukais · 25 days

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⋆₊‧⁺˖⋆˚.⋆ ͙͘͡★ LOOK UP TO THE STARS

pairing ▪︎ han jisung x fem reader

synopsis ▪︎ sent out on a mission to a neighbouring QZ that's gone radio silent, y/n falls into the hands of a post-rebellion group after things go terribly wrong. giving up on rejoining her squad, she joins the group on a trek to find a missing member, the group leader's sister. what's supposed to be a not-so-simple trip out and back to their base becomes a one-way ticket to the end of everything they know.

warnings ▪︎ general, yn kinda meanish to han, yn feeling like a burden

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER TWO ▪︎ LIFE BEYOND THE WALLS (6.9k)

For being the guy who saved your life, Han Jisung turned out to be a pain in the ass.

It had been about three months since joining this post-rebellion group, if you could call it that. They reside in a small, fenced-in town, only about one intersection big. Before you'd been taken to where a group of them were camping out, waiting for the right time to strike the QZ for resources. Although you couldn't commend their actions, you understood them.

Fewer people lived in the town than there were in your squad, only six of them. You'd met Jeongin long before when he was a cadet with you, disappearing soon after. No one knew what happened to him, assuming he'd been bitten or died, but now you knew the truth, and Seungmin knew too. He'd stayed by you during your recovery, teasing you relentlessly about almost dying; you knew it was because the thought of that scared him.

Chan turned out to be exactly what Han had called him when you first met; the captain, although he didn't like to be called that, much more humble than some people. You'd properly met Chaeryeong after being able to leave the tent, learning she was the other sniper. Everyone had roles; Chan the leader, Chaeryeong and Han the snipers, and Jeongin the healer. The others you met were Hyunjin, a skilled fighter with liquid movements, and Felix, a recent recruit training next to Jeongin to learn medicine the best he could out here; a bit of a pacifist, but will do what's needed.

The first couple of weeks were tough; learning to move around with a broken limb was a first for you. Sure, you'd sprained your wrist or your ankle here and there during training, but you'd never had your leg crushed by a piece of wall before. Lucky for you, it was below your knee and a surprisingly clean break, but the healing process would be long regardless. Everyone here treated you hesitantly, unsure of your intentions. Seungmin was different, instantly earning respect from what Jeongin had told the group about him previously.

To say you felt like an alien was an understatement. After the first month it became clear that returning to your QZ was no longer an option. It had been too long, they wouldn't trust you anymore. You only brought up going back once during your first week there.

"How long do you plan on having us?" You'd asked Chan.

It was night and you were sitting on a pull out chair staring into a campfire in the backyard of his house. There were enough houses on this small intersection for the six of them, an extra reserved for people passing through.

"As long as you want or need to stay," He replied, looking over at you.

You couldn't meet his gaze. "I don't know if I can go back."

"Why not?" He asked. "It's not too late. You can say you escaped us and found your way back if they question you."

"I know, it's not that." You considered leaving it there, unsure how to phrase the next part. "The mission we were sent on wasn't supposed to go down like that. We were told it was a search and rescue and that most of the infected had left, but clearly that wasn't the case." You finally looked at him, face blank. "They sent us out to die."

He nodded, taking in the information. When he said nothing, you continued.

"Maybe my place isn't there anymore. I didn't grow up there like most others and never really felt like I belonged there," You sighed. "Then I met Seungmin and that changed, kind of. I always had Minho, but- ugh. It's complicated."

Waving a hand in the air, you shook your head.

"He's your family," Chan said slowly.

"He left me," Your words came out harsher than you expected. "And now I don't know what to think. Not to mention Minho knew what we were walking into and said nothing."

"Ouch," Chan hissed. "How does Seungmin feel about all of this?"

"Pretty sure he's glad to be out of there," You laughed. "He never liked it very much, always challenging authority subtlety... and not so subtlety."

You ended up sleeping on Chan's couch that night, too tired and heavy with emotions to return to your shared house with Seungmin; he knew you too well not to press.

Nobody said anything, just accepted you into the group after the first month passed and it became clear you weren't leaving. After that, people started interacting with you more, making small talk here and there. Your respect grew for each member the more you heard about their struggles to survive. It turned out the only one with experience in a quarantine zone outside of yourself, Seungmin, and Jeongin, was Hyunjin, which made sense to you as he had similar fighting techniques to the ones you've learned, but he's made them his own.

"I left when I was sixteen," He said one night while visiting you to cook dinner; "a proper welcome" as he put it. "Never looked back. Chan found me half dead in the back of a convenience store."

"He has a habit of doing that, huh?"

"Yeah," He laughed. "He really does."

Cut to present day where you're laying in bed early in the morning, Hyunjin lying next to you in the sun, rays reflecting in his dark eyes as he stares at you. He'd stayed over after another late night cooking session.

"Good morning," He smiles, propping himself up with his arm and using the other to trace a finger over your bare shoulder blade.

"Morning," You mumble, face half smushed into the pillow.

Not much later, you were dressed and ready for the day, leaving to meet up with Jeongin to check your leg. By now it was pretty much healed, but still aching. You haven't been allowed to leave town at all, staying back to rest. Hyunjin trailed a short distance behind you, humming a tune.

"Hey lovebirds," Seungmin teases as you step onto the porch, rolling your eyes. "Sleep well? Did you sleep?"

"Shut up," You playfully smack his shoulder, stopping next to him with a hand on your hip. "Jeongin inside?"

"Where else would he be?" Seungmin says. "Chan's there, Han too."

Groaning, you head in, knocking lightly so you don't startle anyone. You didn't have a problem with Han exactly, but he definitely had one with you. Since you arrived, he seems to have made it his life mission to annoy you, questioning your every move. It only got worse once you and Hyunjin became closer.

"What's going on?" You ask, joining the three in Jeongins dining room.

Chan looks up from the map displayed in front of him, eyeing Hyunjin as he sits next to you. A lot went unsaid about relationships within the group, but it wasn't hard to tell something was going on. In all your years in the QZ, you'd never acted upon feelings for someone in fear of rejection, but with him, it felt easy. You didn't need to say anything about your lack of experience in this field, he somehow just understood.

"A transmission came in today," Chan starts, pointing at a red mark on the map. "This is where we estimate it came from. Problem is, that it's in the middle of a huge city. There's no way we can get in there without detection. Chances are they're already dead by the time we get there."

"What was the message?" You ask, eyebrows furrowed. "Search and rescue? Resources? Info?"

"...yes?" Chan says. "First it explained the group was trapped in the lower level of a hospital when out on a medical run. They reached where they needed to be, but there are too many infected roaming the halls for them to get out the way they came, and the other way is blocked."

"Shit, that's not good." Hyunjin's eyebrows raise.

"No, it's not. We caught wind of this, but I'm pretty sure it was meant for a QZ to hear, not us. If we can get there first, we can gather the supplies we need as well since we're starting to run low." Chan straightens, analyzing the map. "We'd all have to go."

Thinking about it, this doesn't seem like the type of plan Chan would usually make, nor the kind of transmission he'd respond to. This was dangerous, risky; you knew him well enough to know he wouldn't put his people in that kind of situation for something so simple. There has to be more.

"This is a bad idea," You say, breaking the silence.

"Correct," Jeongin speaks for the first time since you've entered his home. "A terrible one."

He side-eyes Chan who ignores the look.

"These people might have information," Chan says carefully. "About... about Hannah."

Jeongin and Hyunjin startle at this, but only Hyunjin speaks. "Hannah? You really think so?"

"I think it's possible."

"Then we have to go, don't we?" Han looks around the table at everyone's faces.

"It's not that simple," Chan says, shaking his head. "Someone like her was described to be badly hurt; the whole reason they had to go to this hospital in the first place. It might not even be her. That's why I need you all to convince me this isn't worth it."

"Who's Hannah?"

Everyone looks at you.

"Um, sorry." You look away, picking at your nails. "Should I not ask that?"

"No, no, you can." Chan breathes. "She's my sister."

"Oh."

"Oh," Chan repeats. "'Oh' is right."

"How far is this city?" You ask. "And how sure are you it's her?"

"About three hours away from here, but we only have enough gas for half of that." Chan finally sits, running a hand through his short hair. "There's a gas station not too far we can walk to and we can siphon some from cars we pass. As for Hannah," he sighs and puts his arm out to reveal a tattoo on his wrist. "We have matching ones. Hers a star and mine the moon."

"Y/n and I can go to the gas station," Hyunjin volunteers. "I'm sure she'd love to get out now that she can."

You nod eagerly, watching Chan move his arm back to his lap.

"Are you sure you're up to this Y/n?"

"Yes, completely."

"Okay," Chan looks over to Jeongin. "Check her over and make sure she's okay to go first. And you, " He points to Han. "Go with them."

You suppress a groan.

"I mean, that's why she's here in the first place," Jeongin mumbles. "You just got here earlier than expected."

At the same time, Han says, "Aye-aye, Captain."

"My bad," Chan laughs sheepishly. "I'll see myself out then."

"Y/n, get over here." Jeongin stands, starting toward another room. "Hyunjin, Han, you stay there. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. You understand."

Hyunjin grumbles as you leave, a smile forming on your face. You have something good with him.

"Will there be infected, do you think?"

Hyunjin pouts his lips a bit, thinking for a moment. "No, there shouldn't be. I went on a patrol that passed through here two weeks ago with Han and we cleared out a few stragglers. There are tripwires in the surrounding perimeter that we put up that day too, to try and prevent more from showing up."

This is the first real chance you've had to see outside of the small town the group has built for themselves. Not far from town is the gas station, then further down, a bigger town. You'd asked once why they didn't fence in the bigger town in case they grew in numbers and couldn't house everyone, Chan saying it was all they could do at the time. And since then, they've only lost people.

One of the people they've lost must have been Hannah. As much as you want to know what happened to her and how they got separated, you didn't press Chan. He'd tell you if he wanted to and when it was important. Nobody really mentioned anyone else, too painful to relive the memories. You figured you were lucky. The closest you've become to losing someone was when Jeongin went missing, but even then, you barely knew him. Then there were your parents, but you were young and don't remember much of them.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm?" You look up at Hyunjin, sunlight highlighting his soft features. "How do you people always know when I'm deep in thought?"

"You squint and angle your head." Hyunjin comes to a stop, hand finding yours. "And you furrow your eyebrows. It's really cute."

Hyunjin looks back at Han, who seems to be lost in his own thoughts. His other hand traces your brow bone down to your jaw and ends at your chin, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. Smiling, you start to lean in, and he does too. Lips barely touching yours, he pulls away at the sound of a vehicle approaching. You move apart and he pulls you to the side of the road, stepping slightly in front of you.

"Need a ride?" The truck slows next to you, window rolled down to reveal a man just older than you, maybe around Chan's age.

"Nope, we know where we're going," Hyunjin answers.

The man looks between you two and smirks. "Don't get too distracted out here, you never know what might get you."

With that, he drives away, a funny feeling left in your chest.

"What was that about?" You almost forgot Han was with you.

"Nothing," You say. "Let's keep going."

Han rolls his eyes and Hyunjin jogs up back next to you, hand on the small of your back. The feeling of his hand is a small comfort, easing the nerves in your belly. Not many people passed through this part so you didn't know how to take his warning. If he meant the infected, did he not notice your weapons? You're more than prepared for a fight.

There's a break in the trees signalling the gas station; a small building, once partially a coffee chain for people stopping in. The windows are broken and the door is gone, grass overgrown in the front, and years of wear and tear all over. An abandoned car sits by a pump, tires missing and windshield shattered. Inside is a skeleton in the driver's seat, body curved over the steering wheel. The trunk is popped open revealing an empty suitcase. Poor bastard was probably trying to get the hell out of here before things got bad.

"I'm gonna take a look inside!" You shout, already walking through the doorway.

"There won't be much, we cleared it out when we first found this place!" Han shouts back, getting to work on one of the pumps outside.

There are a few aisles of convenience items inside and to the right, most of which are cleaned out or have been damaged. Glass crunches under your feet as you walk around the bare aisles, scanning as you go. There really isn't much; Han was right for once.

"Oh, but there's this," You mutter, picking up a faded purple box near the back. "I'm sure Chaeryeong will be happy I found these."

You tuck the box into your backpack, the zipper stuck.

"You're kidding, right?"

The backpack refuses to open, so you sit down and struggle some more. Your back is facing the front, the counter to pay directly next to you with the aisle on the other side tightly. After a few moments of fighting and coming close to defeat, it unzips.

"Thank you!" You whisper.

Standing and spinning around, you're met with a decaying body facing away from you. Immediately, you cover your mouth, crouching down and moving slowly toward the back to the station. It begins to turn, limping with each step. You've successfully moved around the side, inching closer to the middle until you can see the door, now directly in front of you. If the infected continues down where it assumes you were, you should be able to leave and get to the others before alerting it.

Of course, that's not at all what happens.

Making a beeline to the door, you're stopped by another infected coming from your right. You collide with it, falling on your hands into the broken glass. The cuts sting, the infected tripping over your crouched body with a crash, and the other limping over to you. Thankfully this one is slow, but the one who tripped over you is already getting up as you examine your bleeding hands. You could call out for help, but if there are more, you don't want them to get to Hyunjin.

You pull out a knife, standing up fully to take on the infected beings, focusing on the fast one. It comes at you, wailing and arms swinging. You're able to dodge, a quick jump left into the aisle and a swipe to its arm drawing blood. Grabbing another knife by the tip, you aim at the limping one, throwing it expertly into the skull with a squelch. Gross.

As you're distracted, the one you swiped pulls around the other side to your back, lunging forward. Landing on your stomach, you're not in a position to fight back, pinned to the ground by surprisingly strong arms. Another wail escapes its lips close to your ear.

This is it, you think. I'm dying in the middle of a gas station convenience store. No wonder Hyunjin and I were so drawn to each other.

The full body weight of the infected falls on top of you, stealing your breath away.

"How many times am I gonna have to save your ass?" Han grunts as he pulls the body off of you, grabbing your arm to help you up.

You take it back. "I was doing fine."

"Two seconds away from being breakfast is fine?" Han beams. "Then I'm doing amazing!"

"Next time, let the zombie eat my face so I don't have to listen to you, okay?" You get close to his face, personal space be damned.

"Yeah, maybe I will." His eyes narrow. "Then I don't have to listen to you either. Win-win situation."

"Guys?" Hyunjin appears in the doorway. "Han, back away. Y/n, what the fuck?"

You look at him as Han steps back, arms crossed. "What?"

"Why didn't you call for help?" He looks betrayed. "I was right there-"

"I was handling it!" You whine.

"You weren't handling shit-"

"Han, not so respectfully, shut the fuck up. Step out." Hyunjin enters the store, leaving the doorway open, Han reluctantly leaving you two alone. "Didn't want him to hear this, but he had a point. The minute they both came after you, you should have yelled."

"Everything was fine until I got pinned," You argue, not meeting his eye. "And at that point, it would've been too late... usually."

Hyunjin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm fast, it's why Chan keeps me around. I would have made it to you in time."

"Nuh-uh," You say, head snapping up to look at him. "Chan thinks of you as family, that's why he 'keeps you around'."

"We're not talking about me right now-"

"I think we are actually," you say, running your fingers gently down his arms. You take his hands in yours. "Do you really think that? You think he only values you for your skills?"

"Obviously," Hyunjin scoffs. "It's literally the apocalypse, there's no point in real relationships when you might die the next day."

You bite back a mean comment, taking a deep breath. "Is that what you think of us?"

"What? No! No, that's not-" He takes a hand back to run it through his hair. "I just mean he doesn't need me like that. I'm useful, but replaceable."

"Not to him," Your words soften. "Not to any of us, even Han."

Hyunjin laughs, head hanging down and your foreheads touch. All you do for a while is stand there with each other, urging your feelings to melt through your skin and seep into his, make him understand he's more than just a tool to be used.

"Hey, you guys done?" Han says, nerves leaking into his voice.

"What's wrong?" You let go of Hyunjin, walking outside.

"Those guys are back."

A couple of trucks pull in, one stopping directly in front of you. For a second you think he'll hit you, parking a few inches away from your feet. The same man from earlier steps out and closes the door, hard, leaning against it. He looks at the three of you standing together, taking extra time to take you in. Beside you, you can feel Hyunjin tense, and you grip your knife tighter.

"You three still here?" The man pulls out a crushed pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. "Any gas left? We're running low."

"Nope, just grabbed the last of it." Han lifts the red gas can. "There's another station about twenty minutes from here."

Another man emerges from the other side of the truck, rifle in hand. The one smoking comes closer and you finally move away from the truck, planning to walk away before he tries anything. There's another truck parked on the far side of the station and three more men with guns step out, blocking your path. You turn around, nearly running into the first man.

"Why go that far when we can take yours?" He blows a puff of smoke in your face and you barely hold back a cough, eyes stinging. "Hand it over."

You grab the can from Han before he can protest, sticking it out to the man. He goes to grab it, but you move away at the last second with a smirk. It dangles by your side.

"For what?" You tilt your head.

"This isn't up for debate, little lady," He scowls. "Now hand it over."

He makes another move to grab it, but you swing it behind you, angling your back toward Hyunjin who takes it from you. Growing irritated, the man grabs your wrist to discover it empty, roughly pulling you forward. A body comes between you and him, landing an attack on his arm and he lets you go.

"Get your hands off her," Han growls, pushing him back.

Beside you, Hyunjin stumbles forward. The gas can is no longer in his hand and you catch a glimpse of it in the hands of one of the other men, gun poking Hyunjin in the back. You feel the tip of another gun in your own and soon enough all are pointed at your group, fingers on the triggers. Han still has his arm up, taking in the threatening circle of people.

"I suggest you back up." The man drops his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with the toe of his boot.

There's nothing you can do except let the group walk away, gas can in hand, and return to the others. Chan won't be happy, but at least you'll be alive. You watch Han's fists clench by his side, no doubt resisting the urge to throw a punch or two. It doesn't take long for them to get back in their vehicles and drive off, leaving you defeated.

"You're kidding."

Chan runs a hand over his face, staying put on his chin with the other on his hip. He breathes slowly, walking to the window of his kitchen, and leans back on the counter. Although his body is facing you, his eyes are focused on something beyond you. The sunset peaks through the curtains behind him and you shift uncomfortably to cover the blinding light with his body.

On your left is Hyunjin, head hanging low, and Han stands on your right with his chin high in the air. If you look down, you can see his hands shaking.

"We had no choice." You speak first, holding Chan's gaze the best you can. Having experience in disappointing higher-ups in your QZ made it easier to be present in this conversation.

"You had a choice," He says. "Instead of going in the store Han specifically said was cleared out, you could have helped with collecting the gas and gotten out of there quicker."

A shiver runs down your back under his gaze. "It's kind of hard to help when we only have one can."

Chan exhales sharply, crossing his arms. You can tell he knows you have a point and doesn't want to admit it, opting to stay silent and let you continue.

"Besides, it wasn't completely cleared out," You say, digging through your bag to present what you found. "Not that it matters for you guys, but I'm sure Chaeryeong will be happy I found these. So if you need me, I'll be at her house."

You know you shouldn't walk out without being dismissed, but you can't handle the suffocating air of Chan's kitchen any longer. There's no protest as you leave, but can hear Han try to argue as the door shuts behind you. As much as you want to head straight to Chaeryeong's house, you take a detour to your own first. Seungmin should still be with Jeongin figuring out the best route to the hospital, so you should be in the clear to cry on your couch alone.

Dust particles shine in the light of the old house you now share with Seungmin, greeting you like an old friend. It makes your nose itch and your eyes dry, sniffling hard as you lean against the door. Saying you were overwhelmed would be an understatement. This was your first proper mission here and you fucked it up. Since coming here, all you've done is be a burden while Seungmin has actually been valuable to the group, mapping out routes to avoid squad patrols and leading them to better resources. And what have you done besides lay in bed with a broken leg? You're useless to them. Soon enough they'll realize and cast you out.

A sigh escapes your lips as you slide down the door, tossing your bag to the side. Will there ever be a day you don't overthink every action, every word you say? Probably not, but maybe with enough time you'll just stop caring, stop listening to that voice in the back of your head. Or maybe it will win. Only one way to find out; keep going.

"Rise and shine!" A jacket is tossed over your face, effectively waking you. "Get out of bed, we're leaving."

"Huh?" You groan, sitting up. Your bones crack and your neck is stiff from where you fell asleep on the couch. "Leaving? And what are you doing here?"

Han walks back in front of you, taking a seat on your coffee table. The wood creaks and for a second you imagine it snapping, sending the man in front of you onto his ass, making you snort.

"What?"

"Nothing." You wave off his look of annoyance. "Answer my questions first."

His eyes narrow. "Chan sent me over to get you. We're heading to the hospital today, all of us. He said you better not drag us down more than you already have."

Oh.

"Let's get a move on," He stands, a strange expression on his face after seeing yours drop. "Everyone's already in the truck. You'll have to sit in the back with me."

"Yeah, okay." You don't have it in you to argue.

Taking one last look around the house you've been living in for the past few months, you wonder what you would be doing if you had gone back to your QZ. You pick up the jacket Han threw; it's one of yours, a worn black denim with a patch to signify your rank on the breast pocket. It wasn't mandatory, but you liked people knowing where you stood when you walked around in casual clothes, even if it wasn't a high ranking. There was a sense of belonging when you saw others in uniform with their matching patches, always able to blend in with a crowd.

You rip the patch off.

"Done?" Han stands in the open doorway, having watched you make this silent choice.

All you do is nod, slipping the jacket on as you walk past him. It's early, the sun not quite rising yet; morning dew wets your boots as you jog to the truck. Chan is standing by the driver's side door, no doubt waiting on you and Han. Inside is Seungmin in the passenger's side, and Chaeryeong, Hyunjin, and Jeongin in the back, although you can barely see them through the tinted windows. With a nod to Chan, you throw your bag over and hop in the back. There's a little window behind where you settle yourself, opening it to poke Hyunjin in the back of the head.

"What-" He shifts in his seat, disgust leaving his face when he sees it's you. "I thought you were Han. Did you want to sit in here? We can kick Jeongin out-"

"No, you will not." Jeongin locks his door and you laugh.

"I'm fine here." The truck dips as Han hops over, sitting closer to the end. "Besides, if I get annoyed with him I can just throw him over."

Hyunjin makes eye contact with Han as he looks over at your words and your eyes follow. He's sitting with his gun over his lap, bag on the opposite side. It doesn't take long for Han to look away, shifting to face the road as Chan starts up the vehicle.

"Weird," You say, looking back at Hyunjin who rolls his eyes. "Sitting that way is gonna be uncomfortable now that we're moving."

"It's worth it if I'm talking to you," Hyunjin smiles. "Besides-"

"Y/n!" Felix bounds over the edge of the truck. "Looks like we'll be together this ride."

"Lix, you interrupted me," Hyunjin whines. "I was going to say, at least I won't be bored."

"We aren't boring," Jeongin chips in.

"Y/n is more entertaining." Hyunjin pouts.

You lean in, pressing a kiss onto his pouting face and soon enough he's smiling into you. When you break away, Hyunjin sighs and turns back around, the truck finally moving. Closing the small window, you get as comfortable as you can in the back, shifting your backpack behind you to use as a cushion. Having Felix join you let you relax a bit knowing he can keep Han distracted when he inevitably wants attention you won't give. If he wasn't such a little shit, you could actually be friends.

The roads Chan takes are bumpy and surrounded by trees, no sign of life around you, not that the infected would really fall under 'life'. For a while, things seem peaceful. You watch Felix's hair blow across his face as he leans back, eyes closed. Although you knew some would think your watching to be strange, you liked to be able to take in details of another person. The rise and fall of his chest and the way his lips are parted in a light sleep; the freckles dusting his face and the small scar running through his right eyebrow.

Looking at Han, you can see the way he fiddles with the strap of his bag laid next to him. He's too far to observe in great detail, but you see the way his eyes wander across the landscape, deep in his head. There's a moment you catch his breathing quicken and he sits up more, crossing his legs and placing a hand on each knee. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath through his nose and out of his mouth, repeating several times. You shouldn't be watching this.

"Hey, Han." You crawl over to him, sitting by his side. "What's going on in there?"

You point at his head and he looks at you strangely.

"What?" He moves away.

"You seem tense," You shrug. "How long do you think until we get there?"

Changing the subject appeared to be a better plan as Han returns your shrug. "I'd say we have about thirty more minutes until we run out of gas. Then we walk the rest of the way which'll take at least a few more hours than driving would have taken."

"Do you think they'll still be alive?" You ask quietly. "The people at the hospital?"

It's weird to think of all the experience the people around you have and your lack of it, knowing everything in theory but not in practice. Other than what was supposed to be your first mission outside of the QZ, you've never truly seen what the apocalypse has brought onto the world, not first-hand. The time before, when you were a child, you don't remember. You don't remember the harsh world your parents died to protect you from or the way they loved despite it all.

"Truthfully?" You nod. "...I don't know. I hope so. This means a lot to Chan, finding Hannah. He won't tell anyone, but we all know how much of a toll losing her took on him. We knew she wasn't dead, just.. gone, which is almost worse because who knows what she's been going through without us? And he blames himself, he always does for anything that happens to one of us."

There's nothing you can say to that, only nodding your head again. Everyone in this group cares so much, loves so much. How could you ever fit into that?

"Do you have siblings?" Han asks after a beat. "Back in your zone?"

Part of you thinks of Minho, who looked after who when no one else was there. "Not by blood."

"Who needs blood when you have soul?" Han looks at you, really looks at you. "You miss them."

"So what if I do-" You start, but the feeling of something missing sets in. You haven't even talked to Seungmin about missing Minho. "I... really fucking do. I miss him so much, and I don't know why I'm telling you of all people."

He laughs at that, and you do too. "Because you don't care what I'll say back to you?"

"Hmm, true," You laugh again. "Sometimes I think about the fact I'll never see him again and it's like, that's cruel. The universe gives you someone only to rip them away without a goodbye. A glimpse of their face and boom, gone. Never to be seen again. He probably thinks I'm dead. He probably thinks you guys killed me." You pause, looking away from Han, focusing on the passing trees. "He never even came looking for me."

"Hey," Han places a hand on yours gently. "You don't know that. Maybe he's just looking in the wrong place."

All you can do is nod again, tears brimming at the edges of your eyes. It's not much later the truck slows down and you let go of Han's hand, crawling back to where you were before to grab your bag. This must be the part you start walking.

Chan is the first to step out of the vehicle, taking in your surroundings and examining a map on the hood of the truck. Jeongin and Seungmin join his side, mumbling amongst themselves. Hyunjin helps you out of the back, picking you up so you don't have to jump down. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Han looking at you again, but pay him no attention.

"You and him make up?" Hyunjin forces a smile and gestures toward Han.

"No," You say, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "We had a civil conversation and that was that."

"Good," Hyunjin smiles more genuinely this time, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you to the front.

"We go straight for a while longer before hitting a main road. There's a highway we need to cross, so keep your weapons handy when we get to that part." Chan clears his throat. "Stay in pairs as we walk, I don't want anyone wandering off and getting lost."

A hand clasps yours; Hyunjin, of course. Chan takes the lead, Seungmin and Jeongin close behind, then Chaeryeong and Felix. Han trails slightly behind you, clearly not wanting to join you and Hyunjin, but not wanting to bother the others either. You make sure to look back every once in a while to ensure he's still there. As much as he and you may not get along, you know how much he means to the group, and that's enough to want to keep him safe.

By the time you make it to the highway, your legs are aching from the distance. Abandoned cars litter the large street, dirty and broken, relics of the past. Here, the wind is stronger and you hold on tightly to Hyunjin. He switches from holding your hand to hooking arms, feeling more secure. The highway groans loudly from the wind and you have to crouch down to stop yourself from falling over the edge.

"Maybe we should stay put until the wind dies down!" Chaeryeong calls out, brushing hair out of her face. "It's not safe to continue!"

"As long as we walk in the middle, we should be fine!" Han passes you and Hyunjin, eyeing you as he does.

"No, Chaer is right," Chan stops the group. "Just for a little while. Then we can continue down the middle."

Biting his lip, and no doubt an argument, Han sits with his back against the van ahead of you with Chaeryeong and Felix. Hyunjin has an arm around you again, holding you close to him. The door to the car you're using as a shield is slightly ajar, and you can see the front seats are empty.

"Hey," You turn to Hyunjin. "Wanna sit inside? I think I can pry this open."

"Sure, it'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable than concrete," He laughs.

Sticking a larger knife into the opening, you pull back with your full body weight. The door comes swinging open, knocking you back against another car.

"Ta-da," You rub your head where it hit the opposing door. "Get in."

As Hyunjin starts to climb over the passenger seat, a blur of bodies comes tumbling out of the car, screaming and limbs flailing. It doesn't take long to register the infected attacking Hyunjin, and you're quick to grab the knife that you used for the door.

"Get the fuck off of him!" You shout, hopping onto it's back, wrapping an arm around it's neck to keep it from biting.

Stabbing now is too risky, too much of a chance of hitting Hyunjin with the way the infected is grabbing him. You kick it's arms, releasing the man under you and allowing him to roll to the side. The infected stands with you still on it's back, turning in harsh circles, and it takes everything in you to hold on. Your knife goes flying. As it attempts to scratch and grab at you, it begins getting closer to the edge.

"Someone shoot this thing!" You're starting to panic, unable to let go long enough to grab another knife.

Your bodies hit the edge, and you finally let go only to be caged in by the infecteds arms. It goes in for a bite, and you wrap your hands around its neck, holding it away the best you can. This thing is strong, teeth getting closer by the second. You're leaning half over the edge and your back cracks, which actually feels quite nice, but you're sure you'd enjoy it more if you weren't about to be breakfast.

Quick thinking, c'mon, where are you?

Bringing your leg up in the tight space between your bodies, you plant your foot on its chest and push, successfully getting its teeth away from you and-

And you're rolling over the edge. One hand barely latches onto the concrete wall, the rest of your body dangling over and you watch the infected looking down at you. Weird, the way it snarls and yells, but doesn't leap over or scratch at you or anything. You can hear shouting on the other side and the body falls limp, slipping over. As it falls, you twist your body so your shoulders hit the wall and the body moves right past you. Your arm is twisted painfully in the process, but you figure that's better than falling to your death, so. Two hands grab your slipping fingers and you reach up blindly, another set of hands helping you over.

"Thanks for the help guys," You say, voice dripping in sarcasm as Chan and Hyunjin move past you.

No one answers, staring over where you were just hanging onto dear life. Chan's shoulders are tense, hand holding the edge until his knuckles turn white. He's shaking his head and when Hyunjin looks at him, you see his mouth is wide open.

"I've never seen this many of them in one place," Chan speaks, and you join them.

"Oh," You gasp. "Oh my god."

Hundreds, if not thousands, of infected cover the highway running underneath the one you stand on, all heading in the same direction. The groaning you heard earlier comes not from the giant bridge, but from the bodies below, wailing and crying.

"Good thing we don't have to go down there, yeah?" Felix chimes in as the rest gather with you.

"Yeah," Chan says, eyebrows furrowed. "We need to keep moving."

---

notes ▪︎ so... continuing on foot, that'll go well, right? ...right?????

��── taglist (18+) : @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom @manuosorioh @hanjisunglover @xxstrayland @puppyminnnie @hanjsquokka @kpopsstuffs @quokkabite @linosalwayslinos @reapers-lover @hyunjinslittlestar

#⋆₊‧⁺˖⋆˚.⋆ ͙͘͡★ LOOK UP TO THE STARS #skz #stray kids #han jisung x reader #han jisung x fem reader #han jisung #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #zombie au #zombie apocalypse au #skz zombie au #han jisung fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #skz series #han jisung series

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newtthetranswriter · 2 months

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Hi!! I was wondering if I could make a request for headcannons for Natsu, Gajeel, Bickslow, and Laxus reacting to their girlfriend saying I love you to them for the first time?? She knows she loves them, and they know she does too, but she's always had a hard time actually saying the words out loud. I hope that makes sense, I'm so sorry if it doesn't. I struggle explaining anything I come up with, it's okay of you don't wanna write it too. Thanks for even just checking this request, hope your day is going well!!!

A/n: Hi, I'm doing great, How are you? This makes sense to me so don't worry about that, I also understand not being able to explain things so i get it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Natsu:

He also has trouble saying how he feels so he would never pressure anyone to voice their feelings if they aren't ready

So when you quietly say 'I love you' one afternoon, he completely freezes

Natsu has known for a while that you loved him, with the random gifts you would give or your need to be close to him, he understood and was happy just receiving your affections that way

But hearing those words, that are so quite that had it not been for his heightened senses he would have missed them, he completely freezes

After taking a second to process what just happened, he pulls you into a tight hug, whispering the phrase back to you

He makes sure that you know he feels the same and that he is overjoyed that you felt comfortable enough to say those words

Gajeel:

He's dense but he could tell you cared for him, especially with the relaxed scent you gave off when you are around him

He's never been big on feelings and mushy words so he never expects you to say those three words

So when it does happen he has to do a double take, and freezes for much longer than Natsu would

He'd just stare for a good minute or two trying to figure out if he actually heard you right, he only snaps out of it when he realizes that you are panicking and trying to take it back

Gajeel will definitely panic while trying to reassure you that he feels the same and that you didn't do anything wrong, he's bad with words give him a second

After words he will shower you in gifts and compliments for your bravery and as an apology for making you worry that he didn't feel the same

Laxus:

He short circuits, like you can see the electricity crackling around him as he processes what you said

Laxus may be harsh to others but to the ones he loves he can be vary gentle

So you can expect him saying that he loves you too, and he even goes as far as thanking you because he's done some shitty stuff and is honored to still receive your love

Later after the shock wears of though he is definitely going to make comments about how he knew for a while he just wanted you to say something first

He is extremely respectful of your boundaries and will always wait for you to make the first move

Bickslow: (I love this man and he needs more attention)

Anyways, he is completely flabbergasted

Like yeah, you've been dating for awhile and he knew you loved him after all why else would you deal with his bullshit, but like hearing you say it that's a whole new ball game

Bickslow will 100% ask if you are sure because he doesn't want you to say it now and then decide later that you regret it because it will break him

He just can't hold back the smile that crosses his face when you assure him that yes you in fact really mean it

He then has to hold in a laugh after he says he loves you too because his babies are repeating the sentiment while bumping into your sides causing you to start laughing

#x reader #fairy tail x reader #newt writes #answering requests #bickslow headcanons #bickslow x reader #fairy tail headcanons #fairy tail bickslow #fairy tail natsu #natsu dragneel headcanons #natsu headcanons #natsu dragneel x reader #laxus headcanons #fairy tail laxus #laxus x reader #gajeel headcanons #gajeel x reader #fairy tail gajeel

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forestdeath1 · 6 months

Text

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 4. How Sirius shows care towards people and animals.

Sirius has a trait that often seems like irresponsibility or excessive harshness.

Sirius really respects another person's free will and choice and even treats teenagers as adults with their own minds. It's a deeply rooted idea of respecting others as agents of free will.

That's why he has no pity for those who make mistakes, including himself. To him, any mistake is always a person's free choice. Sirius will never forgive Peter because, regardless of Peter's circumstances for betrayal, it ultimately was a CHOICE. He even refuses to forgive the Ministry (as if the Ministry cares, oh Sirius):

‘Don’t worry about Percy,’ said Sirius abruptly. ‘He’ll come round. It’s only a matter of time before Voldemort moves into the open; once he does, the whole Ministry’s going to be begging us to forgive them. And I’m not sure I’ll be accepting their apology,’ he added bitterly.

He tells this to Molly after she encounters a boggart. Contrary to popular belief, in this scene, he doesn't really comfort her after their argument. Lupin does most of the work. Sirius just adds this phrase. He's still angry at Molly for what she said, just acting more maturely and not escalating the conflict further. He's angry because he understands Molly said exactly what she meant. Molly is also angry at him, they generally love to get angry at each other because they don't really understand each other.

They were both speaking in carefully light, polite voices that told Harry quite plainly that neither had forgotten their disagreement of the night before.

He even considers Kreacher an agent of free will.

‘You’d be surprised what Kreacher can manage when he wants to, Hermione,’ said Sirius.

As they say - where there's a will, there's a way. When people say that Kreacher was lower in the hierarchy than Sirius (as any house-elf would be), Sirius himself did not see it that way, and it’s truly paradoxical. He argued with Kreacher, kicked him, engaged in verbal battles, though he could have just given direct orders. Kreacher's insults towards Sirius were similar in style to Walburga's (otherwise, where would Kreacher learn those insults?), and Sirius... Sirius, instead of direct orders, just yells back or kicks him. When Harry gives Kreacher a direct order to shut up, Kreacher obeys instantly. A house-elf must obey the direct orders of their master. But Sirius doesn't give direct orders. Because for him, Kreacher is also an agent of free will (and also some ‘‘member‘‘ of his beloved and hated family, as Sirius is much more attached to the Blacks than he would like to admit).

Because of his attitude towards equals, Sirius fights for Harry to get the information he needs. For Sirius, Harry is an adult, not a five-year-old child who needs to be looked after in the style of Molly. Molly deprives Harry of his agency, his choice, and his own opinion with her overprotection. We have to understand Molly; she really worries for all of them, as half her family is in the Order and can die. She doesn't want to lose Harry, so she tries to protect him in every way. Plus, they all have orders from Dumbledore. Isn't Molly right? Molly has her point, she works for the Order and thinks Sirius could harm with his too "independent" behaviour, and teach Harry this excessive independence. And what does independence from Dumbledore lead to? Molly knows well (and so does Sirius) – last time such "independence" from Dumbledore cost the Potters their lives. I don't want to judge Molly. She's a member of the newer incarnation of the Order of the Phoenix, and a good one at that. Sirius, however, is still mentally in the era of the Order's original incarnation (as is Lupin, though he is more conforming and softer), a time when the rules of engagement were harsher, with much more focus on the grim realities of war. The newer version of the Order operates with different tactics – emphasizing manipulation, cunning, and caution.

Molly and Sirius have different approaches. Molly is about caution. Sirius is about action.

Sirius treats Harry as a subject, not an object to be shielded from information.

Sirius knows where his area of responsibility is and what he can influence, and where he should not interfere:

‘Not just yet, Molly,’ said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. ‘You know, I’m surprised at you. I thought the first thing you’d do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort.’

‘I did!’ said Harry indignantly. ‘I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we’re not allowed in the Order, so –’

‘And they’re quite right,’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘You’re too young.’

‘Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?’ asked Sirius. ‘Harry’s been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He’s got the right to know what’s been happen—’

‘How come Harry gets his questions answered?’ said Fred angrily. ‘We’ve been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven’t told us a single stinking thing!’ said George.

‘It’s not my fault you haven’t been told what the Order’s doing,’ said Sirius calmly, ‘that’s your parents’ decision. Harry, on the other hand –’

He doesn't tell the twins anything because it's not his responsibility. But Harry – that's his responsibility. And Sirius believes it's up to him to decide what Harry is allowed to know and what not (considering Dumbledore's instructions "I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly").

‘He’s not your son,’ said Sirius quietly.

‘He’s as good as,’ said Mrs Weasley fiercely. ‘Who else has he got?’

‘He’s got me!’

In the situation with Molly, you see two opposing views clash. Molly, with the archetype of a guardian, wants to shelter everyone with her care. Sirius, with the archetype of a rebel, respects Harry's wishes and wants to open up new knowledge and opportunities for him to fight.

‘He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘He’s only fifteen and –’

‘And he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,’ said Sirius, ‘and more than some.’

‘No one’s denying what he’s done!’ said Mrs Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. ‘But he’s still –’

‘He’s not a child!’ said Sirius impatiently.

Sirius probably stopped considering himself a child very early on. Maybe it came from his conservative family, where children were expected to grow up earlier, not walk around as "little children" until they were 18. They think about marriage, duty to the family, responsibility early on. Plus, wizards come of age earlier – at 17. So, for Sirius, 15 years old is not a child anymore.

That's why Sirius defends Harry's right "to know".

‘But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back’ (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name) ‘he has more right than most to –’

Sirius really encourages taking action. His way of caring isn't about coddling. It's about giving knowledge, opportunities, resources, and supporting in the right direction. For Sirius, to live is to act; he can't be without action, doesn't understand life without it:

‘Personally, I’d have welcomed a Dementor attack. A deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the monotony nicely. You think you’ve had it bad, at least you’ve been able to get out and about, stretch your legs, get into a few fights ... I’ve been stuck inside for a month.’

Sirius can't not act and he doesn't understand how you could do otherwise. He knows Harry is the same because Harry is like his dad, meaning James was the same – always acting.

And he encourages this in Harry. But he always teaches to act with thought, not just charging in. In the 4th book, Sirius was telling Harry not to stick his neck out, but in the 5th, it's the opposite. Sirius has his own logic, which he shows here:

‘So, you want me to say I’m not going to take part in the Defence group?’ he muttered finally.

‘Me? Certainly not!’ said Sirius, looking surprised. ‘I think it’s an excellent idea!’

‘You do?’ said Harry, his heart lifting.

‘Of course I do!’ said Sirius. ‘D’you think your father and I would’ve lain down and taken orders from an old hag like Umbridge?’

‘But – last term all you did was tell me to be careful and not take risks –’

‘Last year, all the evidence was that someone inside Hogwarts was trying to kill you, Harry!’ said Sirius impatiently. ‘This year, we know there’s someone outside Hogwarts who’d like to kill us all, so I think learning to defend yourselves properly is a very good idea!’

‘And if we do get expelled?’ Hermione asked, a quizzical look on her face.

‘Well, better expelled and able to defend yourselves than sitting safely in school without a clue,’ said Sirius.

That's Sirius through and through. A true Gryffindor, who won't just sit around when there's danger afoot. You might argue that he shouldn't have encouraged Harry in this way. But what else was he to do? Hand Harry over to Umbridge? Of course not. He trusts Harry, believes in his potential. He treats Harry as an equal, not as a child, and that's why Harry feels so connected to Sirius – at last, someone sees him as mature enough, respects him as a free person. Throughout the series, Harry has been shielded from the truth, kept in the dark, yet Sirius shows him a different kind of respect – he sees Harry as someone who can act, in whom he places his trust and belief. Is Sirius right? When it comes to Harry – absolutely. As for the war, the Order, and following Dumbledore's orders – Molly would definitely disapprove.

He even passes Molly's words on to Ron. In his sarcastic manner, but still:

… anyway ... first of all, Ron – I’ve sworn to pass on a message from your mother.’

‘Oh yeah?’ said Ron, sounding apprehensive.

‘She says on no account whatsoever are you to take part in an illegal secret Defence Against the Dark Arts group. She says you’ll be expelled for sure and your future will be ruined. She says there will be plenty of time to learn how to defend yourself later and that you are too young to be worrying about that right now. She also’ (Sirius’s eyes turned to the other two) ‘advises Harry and Hermione not to proceed with the group, though she accepts that she has no authority over either of them and simply begs them to remember that she has their best interests at heart. She would have written all this to you, but if the owl had been intercepted you’d all have been in real trouble, and she can’t say it for herself because she’s on duty tonight.’

Again – a striking difference between what Molly understands by care and what Sirius understands by it.

Sirius lets Harry feel that he's believed in, respected, that his actions are encouraged. Sometimes Sirius criticises them, because as much as he encourages action, he believes all actions should be reasoned. Act according to logic, not thoughtlessly.

For instance, Sirius sternly reprimands him in the 4th book when Harry, in his opinion, does something foolish. And notice his communication style. Sirius is often blunt in conversation, in his way of talking, he doesn't sugarcoat. And Harry's okay with that. Sirius isn't one for mushiness.

Harry – what do you think you are playing at, walking off into the Forest with Viktor Krum? I want you to swear, by return owl, that you are not going to go walking with anyone else at night. There is somebody highly dangerous at Hogwarts. It is clear to me that they wanted to stop Crouch seeing Dumbledore and you were probably feet away from them in the dark. You could have been killed.

Your name didn’t get into the Goblet of Fire by accident. If someone’s trying to attack you, they’re on their last chance. Stay close to Ron and Hermione, do not leave Gryffindor Tower after hours, and arm yourself for the third task. Practise Stunning and Disarming. A few hexes wouldn’t go amiss either. There’s nothing you can do about Crouch. Keep your head down and look after yourself. I’m waiting for your letter giving me your word you won’t stray out of bounds again.

That's what care means to Sirius. Not forbidding him from knowing information. But actively helping him so Harry is ready to stand up to challenges.

Or like this:

‘Now, listen ...’ he looked particularly hard at Harry – ‘I don’t want you lot sneaking out of school to see me, all right? Just send notes to me here. I still want to hear about anything odd. But you’re not to go leaving Hogwarts without permission, it would be an ideal opportunity for someone to attack you.’

‘No one’s tried to attack me so far, except a dragon and a couple of Grindylows,’ Harry said.

But Sirius scowled at him. ‘I don’t care ... I’ll breathe freely again when this Tournament’s over, and that’s not until June. And don’t forget, if you’re talking about me among yourselves, call me Snuffles, OK?’

At the same time, he provides Harry with emotional support. Just without the mushiness. There's a sort of rough tenderness about it, making these signs of attention and love seem even more important and pleasant.

‘What’re you doing here, Sirius?’ he said.

‘Fulfilling my duty as godfather,’ said Sirius, gnawing on the chicken bone in a very dog-like way. ‘Don’t worry about me, I’m pretending to be a loveable stray.’

The post owls appeared, bringing Harry a good-luck card from Sirius. It was only a piece of parchment, folded over and bearing a muddy paw print on its front, but Harry appreciated it all the same.

He also provides Harry with real resources that can help him:

‘I want you to take this,’ he said quietly, thrusting a badly wrapped package roughly the size of a paperback book into Harry’s hands.

‘What is it?’ Harry asked.

‘A way of letting me know if Snape’s giving you a hard time. No, don’t open it in here!’ said Sirius, with a wary look at Mrs Weasley, who was trying to persuade the twins to wear hand-knitted mittens. ‘I doubt Molly would approve – but I want you to use it if you need me, all right?’

‘Sirius’s knife,’ he said. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Christmas before last Sirius gave me a knife that’ll open any lock,’ said Harry. ‘So even if she’s bewitched the door so Alohomora won’t work, which I bet she has –’

Sirius isn't inclined to pity. He respects the choices of others. His care is expressed in this – he knows people's strengths and trusts them to do their job. He thinks Hagrid will be okay because Hagrid is tough. Why worry?

‘Listen, don’t go asking too many questions about Hagrid,’ said Sirius hastily, ‘it’ll just draw even more attention to the fact that he’s not back and I know Dumbledore doesn’t want that. Hagrid’s tough, he’ll be OK.’

And he respects the choice of the twins' father, though many find Sirius's words harsh:

‘We don’t care about the dumb Order!’ shouted Fred.

‘It’s our dad dying we’re talking about!’ yelled George.

‘Your father knew what he was getting into and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!’ said Sirius, equally angry. ‘This is how it is – this is why you’re not in the Order – you don’t understand – there are things worth dying for!’

But it's not cruelty or indifference, it's respect for their father's choice, as an agent of free will.

Sirius even treats animals this way. Look how he got on with the cat. And yet he understands that animals are defenceless and need support. He doesn't expect danger from them and often finds comfort in their company.

‘This cat isn’t mad,’ said Black hoarsely. He reached out a bony hand and stroked Crookshanks’s fluffy head. ‘He’s the most intelligent of his kind I’ve ever met. He recognised Peter for what he was straight away. And when he met me, he knew I was no dog. It was a while before he trusted me. Finally, I managed to communicate to him what I was after, and he’s been helping me ...’

Kreacher injured Buckbeak the Hippogriff yesterday, and, at the moment when you made your appearance in the fire, Sirius was upstairs tending to him.’

Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped on to Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absent-mindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.

Sirius, who had just entered the room carrying a bloodstained bag of what appeared to be dead rats. ‘I’ve just been feeding Buckbeak,’ he added, in reply to Harry’s enquiring look. ‘I keep him upstairs in my mother’s bedroom

Soon, however, he was moodier and surlier than before, talking less to everybody, even Harry, and spending increasing amounts of time shut up in his mother’s room with Buckbeak.

He became more and more prone to what Mrs Weasley called ‘fits of the sullens’, in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time.

Sirius befriended the cat, treated it as an intelligent being, and constantly cared for the hippogriff. Sirius is very closed off from people (after Azkaban, he only opens up to Harry and Remus), he builds a tough armour, but easily opens up to animals and easily cares for them in a nurturing manner – and they love him back.

In conclusion, Sirius respects the free choice of others. For him, pity towards another is demeaning. Sirius hates pity – neither for himself nor for others. To pity = to demean, to pity means to acknowledge the other as incapable and weak. And Sirius doesn't meddle in others' relationships, he well separates his zone of responsibility, and care for him is to give resources and information so the person can act. And he's good with animals, and to animals, he can show a different attitude – nurturing, because acknowledging animals as weaker doesn't demean them, because animals truly are weaker.

This character trait of Sirius isn't for moral judgement, just that's how he is, and it's important to understand that.

#sirius black #the marauders #sirius black meta #the marauders meta #hp meta #sirius and harry

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iamnmbr3 · 5 months

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I find your analysis' really fun and I love how JKR, unintentionally created a narrative where drarry somehow has more chemistry than ginny who's literally forgotten in the 3rd, 4th books???? Like mam, if you want to build a romance then make them have actual conversations? I, myself like ginny and like the concept of hinny but the way JKR sucked at writing them infuriated me.

But anyhow, I also love drarry, though as much as I like and agree with your assessment; there is something I'll have to disagree with, and that is I don't harry found draco attractive. Because the thing with Harry is; no matter who that person is, my guy is really honest with how he views that person. Each time as he saw Riddle grow, my guy was like; hot damn. Also Cedric. Sirius. Bro literally calls regulus "not as hot as Sirius" so we are know Harry has never once found draco attractive. As for the gleaming eyes, pointy chin; well I also like giving my characters good description so people would understand what to imagine; I'm not making everyone simp on about everyone. promise!!!!!!

( I just like them falling in love after the war, and Idrc if they found each other good looking or not, I just don't like how people just take basic description of a character and says oh he describes how he looks, he must like him!!!!! No guys, he is just saying bro has a pointy chin and his eyes glows because he probably is gonna do something!!!!!)

I just wanted to get this out and I am not really active on Tumblr, and don't like posting. This is just me wanting to discuss this one hc😞 but I hope u have a good day and I adore ur hcs and analysis.❤️

Thank you! And yeah I feel like JKR really did Ginny dirty with the way hinny happened. I like book 5 Ginny so much more than book 6 and 7 Ginny. She deserved so much better than to be reduced to a love interest who is "Harry's perfect girl" to use JKR's phrase rather than someone who got to be her own fully realized character with a distinct personality and interests (as she was in book 5 before JKR overdid it trying to make her the ideal Love Interest TM). I think it would've been cool if she ended up with Neville since they bonded during their year at Hogwarts in book 7 and fought side by side and mutually respected each other as equals.

It just says it all that after the Battle of Hogwarts Harry doesn't have a single interaction with her. He immediately wants to spend time with Ron and Hermione because he feels a deep bond with them but just vaguely thinks that there will be time to talk with Ginny later. He isn't even sitting by her at the table because it's Luna who is next to him and offers to create a distraction so he can leave.

As for Harry's descriptions of Draco, I'm going to push back on that although of course everyone is perfectly entitled to their own interpretations. The thing is, Harry is extremely judgmental about people's looks and insults the appearances of all the other Slytherins. A lot. But he NEVER does that with Draco. Ron does. Ron insults Draco's looks all the time. But Harry never goes along with it or agrees and his internal monologue and descriptions of Draco are notably lacking the insults he directs at almost every other member of Draco's House as well as other people he dislikes.

But that's not because he isn't looking. Because he is. A LOT. He doesn't just describe Draco's looks. He dwells on them. Repeatedly. We know SO much about how Draco looks because Harry CONSTANTLY notices and mentions it in his internal monologue. Draco's grey eyes are mentioned repeatedly in every book. As is his sleek blond hair. Harry doesn't even mention Ron's eye color once till book 7, but we get multiple descriptions of Draco's eyes down to the exact shade - specifically pale grey. And same for his hair - along with observations about how it gleams in the sunlight. Even when Harry's in danger he takes a second to check out how Draco's looking. And that is at odds with how he describes other characters.

He never calls Ginny pretty or beautiful either but he does seem to have at least some level of physical attraction to her and often describes her hair...and that's pretty much it. Yeah I'm pretty sure that relationship fizzles once the peace happens. (I've read very compelling metas on Harry being gay and I think there's a lot there though personally I do still read him as bi but with a strong preference for men).

Draco is someone that Harry would not get together with till after the war. And I don't think he wants to acknowledge, even to himself, that he is attracted to him. But he sure spends a lot of time repeatedly noticing and describing and thinking about Draco's appearance in a way he doesn't with other characters. Something is making him look. And I think that something is attraction.

Now obviously this was completely not JKR's intent. The problem is that she wrote the story from Harry's POV not from the POV of an omniscient third person narrator. So while she didn't mean to make Harry constantly notice all the cute guys and obsess over Draco's looks for 7 books that is accidentally what she did.

#thanks for writing in! come back to my inbox any time #i love getting asks #asks #drarry #Harry Potter

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lichenes · 6 months

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do you have plans to write fics for Swann Arlaud himself and not only his caracters? Because that would be fire!

I just got permission from to use the idea from this post so yes, moreover, here it is :D Send some love to the original poster cuz this work wouldn't be here without them!! (This gif... my god...) Hope you like it!!

CW: readers first language is implied to be not english, fluff, SFW

wc: 437

_____✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿_____

He tsked. "Not quite." He gave you a patient look saying the phrase once more and then gesturing for you to attempt to pronounce it. "Uhhh... son chat... chante saaa- chanson." He beamed at that. "Très bien!"

You and Swann were sitting at your desk for your weekly study session of his native language. You both decided to try and not end up like Sandra and Samuel in his newest movie so you started giving eachother lessons in your respective languages. Today was your turn to be the, dare I say, l'élève.

"Okay and did you study any of the vocabulary I've prepared for you last week?" You nodded and handed him the piece of paper with the words. "Commençons." You knew the answer to almost all his questions, afterall you put your heart and sould into learning his language as he did yours.

The room was heating up quickly with how much you had to strain your brain matter. "Good job!" He called you a pet name in your language demonstrating his equal engagement in your endeavours.

"Okay and what is 'heart'?" You hesitated for a moment. "Cœur?" He nodded contently. Then, an idea popped into your head. "Swann? Don't you think I deserve a reward?" He wasn't puzzled by any means, knowing exactly what you meant. "Oh..." he scooted closer to you, your noses almost touching. "What kind of reward were you thinking of?"

Swann gave you a peck on the lips as if to tease you. "Something like this?" You pulled him by his silver locks, crashing your lips into his, craving to invade as much of his personal space as you could in the moment. "Ma- chérie." He choked out in between kisses.

This is what your study sessions turned into, with every phrase, vocab piece and pronouciation done correctly he would give you the reward you craved so badly. You yearned for his approval like a parched man yearns for a drink.

Now on the sofa, one of his hands was supporting your back as his other was holding the piece of paper with the words you were supposed to study for that week. You were facing him, your hands locked in a tight embrace around his neck. "And uh... 'to see?" "Entendre." "Non, that's to listen." Swann said with a quieter voice, sensing your tiredness.

You were drifting off to sleep bit by bit and he could feel your breath slowing down. "Are you tired amour?" You hummed confirming his suspicions. "Let's get you to bed then." You shook your head, burrowing your head into his chest. "I'd rather stay here..."

______✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿_____

masterlist

#swann arlaud #x reader #swann arlaud x reader #fluff

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m1ssunderstanding · 6 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

#mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #the beatles #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

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ddollfface · 7 months

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𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (Pt.2)

Warnings; bad writing, possessive behavior, really ooc (I'm 90% sure that I missed the mark on this one), talks of Diane's rape, yandere if you really squint ig. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Oml, tumblr's being a little bitch right now, I literally cannot right now. I'm going to repost Pt.1 and Pt.2. I'm so sorry, I have no clue as to why I have a word limit rn... Just know that this is super ooc :/

When Jack falls, he falls hard, and let's just say that he's never fallen. Throughout his whole life, his only goal was to avenge his mother and bring back her honor, hoping to achieve this by defeating his father, Yuujirou Hanma. Jack, himself, has stated multiple times throughout the show that he has no interest in women, money, or fame, only wanting to achieve his goal of revenge. This obviously means that he has no experience with women, and unlike Kastumi, it's by choice. He doesn't want to fall in love.

I think that Jack doesn't believe in love, that it's something that's fake and fabricated to appease another. There's no such thing as love at first sight and wanting to hold someone for comfort and not just to get off. These thoughts are so out of Jack's worldview that he sees them as just fiction that others' are pathetic enough to believe.

And, adding to that, I think that Jack would have a hard time understanding Baki and his relationship with Kozue. Baki and Kozue have been there for each other, showing true love, something that Jack's never had. Jack eventually learns to respect Baki, after some trial and error throughout the series, but he can't seem to understand why someone like Baki would believe in something as fictional as love.

Moving on from that, I think that Jack's childhood developed this sense of disgust toward love and just being vulnerable in general. I mean, imagine being born to a woman who was raped by the man she was supposed to kill, that's obviously not going to be the best childhood.

I can't imagine that Diane, Jack's mama, would ever show him such motherly love that's expected from a mama to her son. I think that's partially because of how Jack was conceived and her personality. Diane, whether it was a part of her persona as 'Jane' or not, was portrayed as a cold woman who had little regard for human life, and I can't see how she'd ever show warmth toward Jack when he was young.

While we don't know much about Jack's childhood or what happened to Diane later on in her life, I'm assuming that she never pursued relations with any other man, seeing as Yuujiro's actions caused her such distress. This means that Jack never grew up with a father figure present in his life, rather than his absent father, Yuujiro.

I'd assume that Diane would never speak nicely of Yuujiro, seeing as he raped her, and it was her original intention to kill him. Because children are like sponges, Jack probably absorbed all of Diane's hatred and general negativity towards his father, as he should, and internalized this anger.

Overall, Jack's situation growing up left no room for him to experience what love looked like, in a healthy manner. He never had parents who lead a good example, keeping him in the dark about any positives of being in a relationship. And that's what I think the root is for his distaste for being vulnerable, and the idea of being in a relationship with another.

Not only that, but I think that his mama's rape only caused Jack to view sex in a negative light, seeing that's how he was conceived. Now, I don't think that Jack is repulsed by sex in general, but I just think that he doesn't find it as welcoming (?) as other men would. I'm not too sure how to phrase it, but it's just not appealing to him, compared to most men.

However, that changes when he meets you, you, you.

There's no such thing as 'love at first sight' to Jack. He has to know a person for a year or so before he even considers having a lengthy conversation with them, where he actually puts a little effort into speaking with them. Jack's a very closed-off individual who has severe trust issues, as most figures do, and he can't open up to someone he's known for a short time.

This means that for you to catch his attention, that means that there's something special that he saw, whether you notice it or not doesn't matter. Jack saw something in you. Maybe it was how transparent you were, possibly your wisdom, it doesn't matter too much.

(little side tangent)

Though I do see Jack enjoying a partner who's similar to a therapist, someone with a lot of advice to give, someone with a shit ton of wisdom. An observer would be a good fit for Jack, they don't have to be studious or very loud, and he doesn't mind either. It's just that he needs someone who can read him easily because Jack has his own language of sorts (@yandere-writer-momo has discussed this in some of her posts).

It's odd because Jack is oh so blunt, but he holds back whenever it comes to his emotions, wanting to avoid being vulnerable. He doesn't hesitate to threaten someone or tell them that he doesn't like him, he doesn't have a problem with that. But whenever he finds you pretty, or likes the dress you're wearing, even if he thinks you're not taking care of yourself, he'll always phrase it in a "brutish" way.

Instead of saying "Your hair looks nice today" or "Have my jacket, you look cold," instead, he'll say "Did you do something to your hair? It doesn't look like shit today" or "You're built like a stick, you should work out more" as he hands you his jacket (more so throwing it over your shoulders and walking away).

And that's why he needs someone who can read through his insulting behavior, knowing that he's just shielding himself from appearing weak. Being observant is a requirement to having a successful relationship with Jack, and possibly with most of the men in Baki. All of them are so emotionally constipated, that they need someone who can read them like a book to actually have a progressive relationship.

Because of your ability to allow him to open up without words he knows attached, always thinking about you, you, you. He needs to protect you, the one person who understands him on a different level than everyone else. You're able to calm him down with a simple nod, practically telling him that you understood what he was trying to say. You don't just see him as the son of Yuujiro Hanma or as the man who's ruined his body with steroids and intense training techniques, instead, you see him as Jack.

The initial attraction he had toward you, when you first crossed paths, was more superficial than what I was talking about in the previous paragraph. It's most likely a simple case of curiosity that drew him to you. You somehow stood apart from others, causing his eyes to drift to you every time he scanned a crowd. It's possible that you were overly positive, keeping a smile on your face no matter what, or you were oddly quiet, silently observing everyone.

It could've just been your looks that made you attractive! Though Jack is emotionally stunted, even he can appreciate a nice piece of ass!

Either way, throughout the time and as your relationship progresses, the more you two talk, the more he begins to respect your character. Jack begins to see you for who you are and understands that you see him the way he sees you. (sorry that was a confusing sentence lol)

I'm not too sure if any of you have seen the movie Avatar, but in the movie, they use the phrase 'I see you,' and I think that it fits Jack's personality perfectly. It's more than love to Jack, and he likely doesn't even comprehend that it's love in the first year or so. It's something deeper than that, it's understanding each other on a primal level. Jack doesn't just understand your body and how it moves, or what to do to get it going, he understands how you think, and how you feel. But not in a weird way, in a loving way, y'know?

The two of you are like other halves, you'd have to be for Jack to pursue you. Jack has to know that you're meant for him. He's never even considered dating another person, let alone revealing himself to someone else.

#jack hammer #jack hanma #jack hanma x reader #jack x reader #yandere character #yandere headcanons #baki the grappler #baki dou #obsessive love #lovesick #yandere x reader #yandere x you #x reader #yandere male #baki x reader #baki headcanons #baki hanma #baki son of ogre #bad writing

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