#like i don't know how to phrase how much i respect them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fireboltposts · 21 days ago

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When SKZ finds your well-organized Korean notes

A/N : This idea randomly popped up in my head when I was learning my Spanish. Picture credit to the owner. Also this is the first time I've tried writing for all the members together.

• Where each member suddenly stumbles upon your neat and well-organized notes for learning Korean. They knew you were studying but didn't realise you went so far as to maintaining an old diary of 2013 for writing down random notes, swear words, grammar rules, slangs, idioms, vocabulary, tests where you had graded yourself with a red pen with marks like 16/20 or 19/25 and your signature like a school teacher and even some phrases learnt from the boys.

• Chris

He found your Korean diary on a random Tuesday evening while he was searching for his laptop charger. He wondered what on earth were you doing with a 2013 diary when he had gifted you the latest one on New Year's Day. Not one to read someone's diary, but his interest was piqued because of a SKZ bookmark hanging out of the diary. He opens it curiously, flipping through the pages that contained grammar rules, self-graded tests with your signature (which he can't help but giggle at), and even an entire section labelled "what Channie taught me", containing phrases and words he had previously taught you, that he himself had forgotten, which little notes on the side in pencil on how to pronounce stating that "Channie says it like this". He smiles to himself, feeling a surge of warmth as he realizes you're working so hard to understand and connect with him and the group on a deeper level. He chuckles at the part where you had stated that he says a word in a certain tone and he's a little surprised to see how observant you were to how he spoke Korean that you had noticed such little things even he didn't know. He is moved by your dedication and effort. It meant so much to him that you wanted to understand him better and also the rest of the boys.

• Minho

Minho's looking around your room when his eyes fall on a notebook open on your bed, with pages full of neat handwriting. Intrigued, he walks over and begins to look through them, noting how well-organized and thoughtful each section is. The color-coding in different color ink, the little drawings, and the way you’ve broken down each concept and it’s clear you’ve put a lot of effort into learning. He spots a few phrases he's used like "Don't be silly" written in Hangul. He feels a strange pride in knowing that you had gone through so much trouble of noting down things he has said and how observant you were to the other members' words and he feels a soft warmth on his chest. When you notice him looking, he gives you an approving nod. "Your notes are impressive," he says, with a faint smile. "You’re serious about learning, huh? I respect that." He’s not overly sentimental, but there’s a hint of admiration in his tone. "Just make sure you don’t learn any bad habits from the guys. I'll teach you the proper way to speak," he adds with a teasing glint in his eyes and you roll your eyes with a smile on your lips.

• Changbin

Changbin flips your notes open curiously and starts reading. The first thing he notices is how neatly you've written grammar concepts and phrases with example sentences using names from the K industry like "Changbin ate an apple", "Joshua cannot swim", "Jaejoong, go to the market !". As he goes through, he can’t help but feel a sense of admiration for your dedication. You’ve put in so much work, and it’s clear that you’re genuinely interested in understanding the language. He chuckles when he sees a section labeled "Cute Phrases learnt from Binnie," where you’ve written down a few things he’s said, noting them with little hearts and stars. When you return, he grins at you, holding up the notebook. "These are really impressive," he says, giving you an encouraging smile. "You’ve put in a lot of effort. If you keep it up, you’ll be fluent in no time!". There’s a hint of pride in his voice as he looks at you, feeling touched that you care so much about connecting with him and the rest of the group in their language.

• Hyunjin

Hyunjin finds your notes when you’re both sitting on the couch. He’s flipping through some things on the table when he spots them, open to a section on descriptive words. At first, he’s just curious, but as he goes through them, he realizes how detailed your notes are. You’ve even added pronunciation tips in English and marked down specific tones you’d heard him use, adding little side notes in pencil like, "Try to sound softer, like Hyunjin." Seeing his own influence in your notes makes his heart race. He’s touched to know you’re paying so much attention to the language, even noting his speaking style. There’s something endearing about how you’re working so hard to speak Korean well, not just to understand him but to match his expressions too. "Wow, you’re really serious about this, huh?" he murmurs, glancing over at you with a soft smile. He leans in closer, resting his chin on his hand as he flips through more pages, admiring your hard work. "If you ever want a study buddy, I’d be happy to help. Maybe I could teach you some new words too… you know, personal ones that only we would know or swear words, whichever you want", he winks, enjoying the thought of having something special shared between the two of you.

• Han

Han stumbles upon your notes one day while you’re hanging out. He flips through them casually, but the more he reads, the more impressed he becomes. Your notes are detailed, organized, and incredibly thorough. You’ve written down vocabulary, grammar rules, and even broken down complex sentences into parts. He’s particularly amused when he sees a section labeled "Funny Phrases" with things he’s said, complete with little notes like, "Han said this when he was being silly." He feels a warmth in his chest, touched that you’ve been paying attention to his quirks and speech patterns. When he looks up at you, there’s a playful glint in his eye. "I didn’t know you were working this hard!" he exclaims. "Your notes are so good; I think I’d actually want to borrow them myself!". Han’s admiration is genuine, and he’s a little flustered by how much he enjoys seeing your dedication. "Anytime you want to practice with me, let me know," he offers, giving you a shy smile. "We could make it fun, you know, with little games and stuff and next time I'll take a test and put my signature on there and an A+ and a smiley if you get it all correct", he said with a wink.

• Felix

When Felix flips through the pages and finds your neat handwriting in Hangul , he's charmed by how much dedication you've put into it, especially when he saw you noted expressions and idioms he used labelled as "Sunshine Lixie's expressions", complete with little stars. His heart flutters at the sight. "Your notes are amazing!" he says, his eyes lighting up. "It’s so cool that you’re learning, and it’s adorable how you even have a section just for my phrases." He pats your shoulder proudly, feeling touched and a bit shy. "I could help you practice anytime you want," he adds, his voice softening, secretly hoping to spend more time with you.

• Seungmin

Seungmin finds your notes by accident when he’s helping you clean up after a study session. He notices them lying open on the table and can’t resist taking a look. As he reads through the pages, he’s impressed by your organization and the level of detail. You’ve made vocabulary lists, highlighted grammar points, and even written down little notes to help you remember certain words. He brings it up later, saying, "Your notes are really impressive. You’re actually doing a great job, and if you keep at it, I think you’ll become fluent in no time." He looks at you thoughtfully, adding, "If you ever need help with pronunciation or understanding something or maybe adding some more to the "Seungmin's Tips" list, I’d be happy to help."

• Jeongin

When the maknae finds your neat diary that you've kept for learning Korean, he is a little surprised but also very impressed at you progress as the self graded "test scores" went higher and as he also remembers some difficult words meant for upper Intermediate learners you'd used a week ago while talking to him. He chuckles when he sees his own "Innie’s Words" section, where you’ve noted down phrases he’s said. Later, he brings it up with a smile, saying, "Your notes are really detailed. It’s so cool that you’re putting in so much effort to learn our language." There’s a sense of pride in his voice as he looks at you, genuinely impressed by your dedication. "If you ever need help, I’m here. I could even teach you some more slang, if you’re up for it Y/N ! And next time, I hope to see you score full marks on your little self tests".

A/N : Do like, comment, reblog and follow if you liked it. You can find the rest of my masterlist here.

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sanjisboyfie · 1 year ago

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suguru's needless jealousy

geto suguru x male reader

being suguru's boyfriend and all of his friends (shoko and satoru, basically - man's does not really have friends like that) not believing how he could find such a wonderful, caring boyfriend like you.

it kind of pisses him off, actually. because he knows how lucky he is to have you, obviously he knows, he's the one dating you. he's the only one who knows just how fast his heart races whenever he sees you. he's the only one who gets that really warm feeling in his chest when you so much as look in his direction. he's the only one who gets to hear you whisper, "i love you," to him and practically send him spiralling with just those three words alone.

but whenever you walk into the classroom, shoko and satoru both think he's gotten memory loss in his sleep because they're both gushing about, "waahhh, suguru, your boyfriend's a total babe, why'd he settle with you? he could have anyone he wanted!" or, "suguru, you better be treating [name] with the utmost respect, he deserves the best for being such a sweetheart!"

you are the one that always kindly brushes their compliments off, taking a comfortable seat next to suguru, who pulls you closer to him by tugging on the leg of your chair towards his. there's a small frown on his face, but it washes away the moment you rest your hand on top of his.

with that simple touch, he'll tiredly tell the two of them to just shut up before focusing all of his attention on you. and that frowns melts into a lovesick smile as he hangs off of every word that leaves your lips.

however, satoru one day takes the teasing too far. for suguru's taste, at least. you had run off to grab the three of you drinks from the vending machine. unfortunately, the one near the common area was broken. despite satoru having the ability to fix it, he was being a hardass and refusing to.

this made you have to almost walk around the entire campus just to get the drinks for them.

satoru was going on and on about how considerate you were, both as a friend and boyfriend. suguru didn't mind that much. he loved to praise you for your actions no matter how big or small - especially to those around him.

it was his own subtle, greedy way of saying, "look at my boyfriend and all he does for me because he loves me, yeah, i am the luckiest guy in the world~"

obviously, when he does sing your praises they aren't as obvious as that. they're subtle, inconspicuous.

or, another way of phrasing that would be, not as obvious as gojo satoru makes his admiration for you be.

like suguru said, he doesn't mind when others sing your praises. you deserve the recognition for being so kind. but, in his humble opinion, it almost sounded like satoru was just yearning now.

yearning for his boyfriend. seriously, of all people...

it made a tick mark appear on his forehead as he thought about it.

"and, and! did you see the way he was so eager to just go grab them for us? even though he doesn't have to, [name] is always putting others before him. he's really a great guy, i bet he's an amazing boyfriend too, suguru! god, you're one lucky man!"

suguru's eye twitched, "i know, i am lucky, he treats me really well,"

"well, you better treat him well too, or else who knows! he might ditch your sorry ass," it was obviously a joke, with the way satoru's mocking laugh echoed after he said that, it was very obviously a joke.

but suguru was already at his limits in dealing with satoru's bad jokes.

"oh, so you can sweep him off of his feet after he ditches me, right?"

satoru stilled at the comment, looking at suguru as if he were crazy. but before he could shout about how out of pocket suguru was being, he was cut off, "you've been dick riding my boyfriend for the past ten minutes, satoru, is there something you wanna say to me?"

satoru's blue eyes blinked owlishly, "are you seriously saying what i think you're saying? are you a dumbass?"

"i don't know, you tell me. you're the one that was sounding like a desperate school girl trying to get noticed by her crush, not even ten seconds ago,"

now satoru was just offended! god, he can't even sing your praises without a jealous suguru breathing down his neck.

[name] control your man or else i won't know what i do to him for pissing me off, was the only though in satoru's mind.

"don't be such a dick just cause you're jealous, dude," satoru warns, only making suguru's eyes glare at him even more - as if he were insulted.

"i'm not jealous," suguru weakly defended, making satoru only roll his eyes.

when you returned a couple seconds later, satoru took his juice from you, placed some yen to pay you back for it into your now open hand, and walked off.

"huh? i thought satoru was going to wait with us here for shoko?"

"change of plans, he and shoko are gonna meet up elsewhere. they said we could have the time together for some couple business or something," suguru easily lied, not at all feeling bad for doing so either.

with how often shoko and satoru were complimenting you for how selfless you were, they surely wouldn't mind you spending personal time with your own boyfriend, aka him, aka geto suguru.

"oh, if it's alright with them, let's go!" you cheerfully smiled, unscrewing the cap of your juice and linking your arm through suguru's. "what's the plan for today then, babe?"

suguru almost melted at your touch and pet name for him. he gazed down at you lovingly, shrugging his shoulders with a smile on his face, "anywhere you wanna go, prince, i'll just follow along,"

you pout at his lax attitude, but sigh and choose a random arcade to spend your time in. he nods in approval, allowing you to drag him through the streets of tokyo with a smirk on his face.

you were his and he was yours, he thought to himself. he held your hand in his now, walking through the dimly lit arcade with you two closely connected with each other.

he was the one you were spending time with the most, not shoko or satoru. he was the one that got the teddy bear you won for him, not shoko or satoru. and he was definitely the one you were kissing, not shoko or satoru.

they can sing your praises for being a perfect boyfriend and tease and degrade his status as yours as much as they want, but at the end of the day, their words mean nothing as he's the one who's truly winning.

after all, it's his bed you sleep in at night and he's the one who gets to have you be the first thing he sees in the morning.

suguru felt stupid for even being the slighest bit jealous of satoru's words earlier. he doesn't even know why he was jealous. because satoru was so obviously admiring you? because it sounded like satoru was noticing the little things you did just how suguru did?

how could suguru even feel jealous about little shit like that, when you're the one saying the sweetest words about him being your boyfriend.

(don't praise him too much, though, his heart may stop at your endearing words. seriously, his face feels like it'll explode with how heated his cheeks get and how erratic his heart beat can go.)

#jealous suguru #for the culture #suguru male reader #suguru x male reader #geto suguru male reader #geto suguru x male reader #geto male reader #geto x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x male reader #jjk x reader #jjk male reader #male reader #x male reader

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the-thing-withfeathers · 2 months ago

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exceeded caution part 2

first time for everything

series masterlist | next part

a/n: heyy y’all!! so this is part 2 of exceeded caution. a lot of it follows the actual movie because i needed set-up for ghostface. there’s still a lot of interaction between the reader + sam & tara but some of it is from the first 30 minutes of scream vi essentially.

warnings: violence (gun usage, knife usage), cursing. he/him pronouns for ghostface. 5.8k words.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

a few days ago, sam was nowhere near the forefront of your mind. you had stayed with the group as they navigated their way through accepting that ghostface might be back.

you hadn't spoken to tara much, you felt like you wouldn't be any help to her. she didn't need her ex-girlfriend that she only dated out of convenience around her constantly.

instead, the other carpenter sister started to find solace in your presence.

you found yourself over quite a bit, you noticed that they valued strength in numbers. you even all set a rotation between the group for who would cook that week.

during your week to cook, sam insisted on joining you when grocery shopping. as you promised her that she wouldn't be alone, she mentally promised you the same thing.

"it's just a simple beef stroganoff recipe, sam. you really don't have to come." you smiled sheepishly as you pulled up outside her apartment, she was hopping into your passenger seat.

"ghostface won't let a grocery store stop him from taking lives." sam was firm in her words, you sighed in defeat and drove off towards the shops that were only a couple minutes away from her place. you wanted her to feel safe still.

she pushed the cart while you took ingredients off the shelves, mumbling to yourself as you chucked them in the cart.

"tara used to say your food was amazing. where did you learn to cook?" she asked you, you looked away from your list to smile at her.

"my mom, she's amazing at cooking. she gave up her career to support my dad and become a fulltime housewife." you explained. "i used to help her cook all the time."

"that's pretty cool. i find myself never having the time for new foods. i should probably get on that."

"i can teach you some. or make some for you, i like cooking for people." you shrugged, taking another ingredient off the shelves.

sam would normally decline if you were anyone else, but she felt the urge to accept.

"sure. that would be nice." she nodded at you.

sam had enjoyed you being around more often and getting to know you outside of tara. she even found herself calling you a friend.

or rather, she tried to keep it at friend. she was trying to hide the fact that she felt a pull to you, she didn't know how to explain it. although, one thing was sure, there was an element of guilt to it.

she wasn’t the only one feeling guilty. you felt almost dirty with how much you thought of sam. because of the frequency of your contact, you found yourself wanting to see her more.

was this against some form of girl code that you shouldn’t want to hang out with your ex’s sister?

“um… how are you?” she could see that you were nervous to ask her that. “i know you probably get asked that all the time but i never ask… and i want to know.”

“that’s fine. i figured you would get curious. you always seem to be.” sam commented.

“is curiosity bad?” you teased a little, noting her phrasing.

“no! not at all.” she perked up, shaking her head.

“don’t worry sam, i’m joking.” you realised that the carpenter sisters weren’t used to bantering with someone they weren’t extremely close to— or someone they didn’t love.

“right.” she bit her lip. “but no? it’s not bad at all.” she chuckled. “but i’m… not okay?”

you nodded, respecting her answer and silently thanking her for being honest.

“i hoped that we would escape this when we moved. and i’ve been doing everything to protect tara but it didn’t end for sidney prescott— so i assume that it won’t end for us.” she scratched her brow, the stress getting to her. “i’m sorry you got involved.”

“it’s okay, sam. i knew what i was getting into when i dated tara.” you nodded. “if it happened again, i already knew i’d stick around.”

“that’s admirable.”

you felt your heart clench a little when she said that. nobody had ever told you that your desire to stick around was admirable. you always got “clingy” or “overbearing.” that was the first time you’d ever gotten a compliment on it.

“oh! um… thank you.” you stuttered out, a blush flooding your cheeks. you knew that sam meant it too, she wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better. she was genuinely saying it.

“it’s true.” it was.

you tried to push your flustered down into the depths of your mind as you struggled to reach the top shelf with the last of your ingredients. you were definitely taller than tara— everyone was. but not tall enough to face this eight layered shelf.

sam was.

sam was taller. and she made that perfectly clear when she basically pressed up behind you to grab this damn dijon mustard for you.

oh no… oh no… you had to stop those thoughts. you had turned around too quickly, basically coming chest to chest with the girl. she didn’t seem to mind— and you refused to mind.

you had never been this close to her before. your eyes trailed over all her features, taking them in. she looked just like tara… maybe that’s whats got your heart beating at the speed of light.

but she wasn’t tara. no, she was sam. and you found that to be what sealed the deal for you.

you found her pretty.

you remained silent as you finished off the last of the ingredient collection. you walked over to the self check-out, scanning the items as the blush continued to make its presence known as sam hovered.

you shuffled some things around in your pocket to try and find your card but before you knew it, sam was paying for your groceries.

“what—“ you tried to protest but the transaction had gone through already.

sam didn’t know what overcame her.

it was her way of taking care of you.

it was even her way of apologising to you.

"sam, you didn't have to do that." you shook your head at her.

"my treat, i didn't get to cook for everyone so this is my way of contributing." she shook you off. you knew that was a lie because mindy sent you a photo of meals you missed, one being sam's.

there was no undoing it now. you sighed and reached for the bags, but sam was one step ahead of you, grabbing them and walking out of the store.

you wished you could wash the blush off with soap.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

when you arrived for dinner with your groceries. everyone was already at the carpenter’s apartment. they were spread out across the entire floor, conversing with each other.

you got to cooking almost immediately, knowing that everyone had potentially been there for a while. sam left your side to talk to quinn.

you kept feeling eyes on you.

the shorter carpenter sister was talking to mindy when she felt her attention turn away from her and onto you. she watched you cook, she actually always loved your cooking.

she loved when you would make a dinner catered just to her. she actually missed how lively the kitchen used to be when you were in it. you were even dancing around now, your headphones tucked over your ear.

she smiled a little at how you shook your waist to the music. everyone knew not to bother you so you could get it done quicker.

but tara wanted to bother you. she wanted to approach you and say something, anything to break the silence.

you were friends before everything went down. she thought that maybe she could at least salvage that, that would be her way to redemption.

mindy kept talking and talking before cutting herself off suddenly, realising that tara was no longer paying attention.

“tara, don’t.” mindy said, disappointment clear in her tone. “this is something you need to give time to.”

“there’s been a lot of time.” tara muttered, glaring at mindy.

“you can’t just break her heart and expect her to let you back in so quickly.” mindy held her shoulder back.

“i know it won’t be quick, but i have to try.” tara said through her teeth, pulling her shoulder out of mindy’s grasp and starting to make her way towards you.

tara stopped on her heels when she saw her sister already take your attention. she thought that she’d better not interrupt you.

“whatcha listening to?” sam asked you, her arms crossed over her chest.

you pulled your headphones back a little.

“sloppy jane.” you said.

“sloppy jane? what kind of name is that?!” sam laughed.

“she’s cool! i promise!” you raised your hands up in defense. you took your headphones off your head, you gently placed them on sam. your hands nicking strands of her long hair before you pulled them away.

she held eye contact with her as her head bobbed to the music, you matched the bobbing, knowing which part of the song she was on.

a smile formed on her face while you two were in sync. your eyes started to crinkle up with a smile as your hair started getting in your face when you headbanged. she joined you until the kitchen was filled with laughter.

“okay… okay. i see it now. she has a good sound.” sam agreed with you, placing the headphones back on you but leaving an ear open.

“thank you.” you chuckled, moving the beef strips into the bowl you intended to serve it in.

“this smells soooo good.” sam practically moaned out, you laughed at the noise she made.

“well, you’re gonna have to wait like everyone else!” you teased.

she groaned and rolled her eyes. you liked seeing her loosen up a bit more, you were grateful she was getting more comfortable around you.

as you two laughed, tara stared on.

she remembered when she was in sam’s place. she even felt herself grow jealous at her sister. why did she ever think that what she was doing to you was okay? your heart was gold and tara thought she had turned it dark— she realised your golden heart’s integrity never faltered. you were still just as good.

she was cruel and she broke your heart. she didn’t think she would regret it— until she suddenly felt all that guilt wash over her. was she regretting it?

you enlisted sam to help you bring all your dishes to the table.

“beef stroganoff, pasta, and rice. choose your carb to go with it and enjoy!” you presented your meal to the group.

everyone admired your work and sat down at the table. you ended up sitting beside mindy who talked your ear off about some pottery class that she and anika took.

you glanced over at sam first, her eyes meeting yours during her conversation with ethan. you two exchanged heartfelt smiles, you had a good day because of each other.

then you looked at tara, who was already looking at you. her first serving was practically gone. you knew that she loved one thing about you, and it was your cooking. she held a sadness behind those eyes, you saw into it, but you had your doubts that it was sadness.

when you noticed her plate, you felt yourself flash her a smile too. she returned it, it was shy but still genuine. her plate was cleaned up just seconds after everyone served themselves.

crumbs of you, tara would take. she cherished that smile you gave to her, even if it was forced or accidental. it filled her brain.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

washing up had to be done, you wanted do it yourself, saying how you were on a roll from cooking that you wanted to do the cleaning too.

sam was about to speak up but suddenly, tara found her voice.

“i’ll help!” she said, chirping up. everyone looked at her with confusion. they didn’t expect that she would do that for you.

“oh… okay!” you said, making your way over to the kitchen.

you scrubbed the plates and handed them to her to dry. it was a good system that worked.

“you did well with dinner today. your cooking is always good.” tara smiled at you.

“thank you, tara. i appreciate it.” your lips pressed into a thin line.

“i just wanted to say that.” she put the plates onto the drying rack. “we haven’t spoken in a while.”

“i know. i just wanted to give you space. i felt like i wasn’t much help to you ever. and i felt like i wouldn’t be much help now.” you confessed. “but i want to stick around, i would be a pretty shit person if i didn’t.”

she felt horrible that you thought that you wouldn’t be help. in fact, there were some nights that tara found herself longing for you.

“we were friends before this, do you think we’d be able to get back to that?” she asked, searching your face for hope. but all she saw was doubt.

“maybe, tara.” you turned to her, handing her the last of the dishes. you saw the dejected look on her face and sighed. you wanted to go back to that too, you missed the tara that was a good friend to you. “but we can try.”

tara’s face lit up, a bit of shock also hidden between the lines. “okay! yeah… let’s try.” she put the dish away and held her hand out, you chuckled but you shook it.

what you failed to see was your maybe friend’s sister staring at you both from the living room, her jaw tightened as tara touched you.

sam zoned back into the conversation, realising that the show they were watching was long gone and replaced by the news again.

there was another death.

sam erupted in her anger, suddenly storming into the kitchen, grabbing the sharpest knife that she owned.

you had no idea what just happened, tara followed her sister back to the living room, the commotion having everyone sit up.

“sam! slow down!” tara yelled after her sister, you joined them after putting the dishes away. “can we please think about this before you decide to abandon my college education?!”

you couldn’t blame sam for wanting to leave. this was something that she just wanted to escape. as much as you would be upset, you would understand. you’d help, even.

you would help them pack up if it meant they were away from everything. you were prepared to never speak of the carpenter sisters again, in hopes that they would never have to go through this again.

“this can’t just be a coincidence, tara!” sam yelled back at her. today was the day where you saw the genetic stubbornness displayed by the carpenter sisters.

“quinn, can you please call your dad?!” tara asked their roommate, quinn immediately nodded. you could tell she didn’t want to get yelled at by sam but it was a reasonable point of action.

ring!!!

everyone flinched. you didn’t. it was just a phone ringing to you, but to everyone else, it was so much more.

sam’s phone blared on the table, she walked over only to see that it was gale weathers, she declined the call without a doubt.

you watched as quinn travelled across the room, telling sam that her father wanted to speak to her. you heard the muffled voice of mr. bailey from where you were standing.

“okay, thank you. i’ll be right there.” sam hung up. “he wants me down at the station.”

“i’ll drive you.” you said, grabbing your keys. “i live close to the station.”

“you shouldn’t have to—“ you cut sam off.

“no. i will. no man left behind, remember?” you said, firm in your decision. sam sighed but nodded.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

you, sam, and tara made it out the door and started to walk to your car.

suddenly, sam’s phone rang again. the two girls stopped when they saw the name displayed on the screen.

richie kirsch.

richie? you recognized that name. you huddled closer to the sisters, closing your eyes to rack your memory for where you knew that name.

no. wait.

it couldn’t be. he was dead, wasn’t he?

“don’t pick that up.” tara said, looking up at sam.

sam hesitated, but it could be important. these calls were life or death for them. she picked up.

you looked at your surroundings. you suddenly felt so exposed, like anything could happen to you now that you weren’t in the comforts of your own home— or anyone’s home.

“who is this?” sam asked into the phone. you couldn’t hear the responses, only sam’s facial expressions changing as time went on.

her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes changed. you saw woodsboro glaze her pupils, you knew she was thinking back to her life before the city. everything was resurfacing.

“i want you to think long and hard about whether or not you wanna do this because the last two people that fucked with us ended up dead.” she said, planting her feet down with determination.

your eyes started to tear away from sam, not absorbing the conversation.

bad gut feeling.

you had to stop ignoring those.

“you better watch your back, asshole.” sam said.

and tara yelled.

a cloaked figure sporting a ghostface mask suddenly grabbed tara, you sprung into action. tara elbowed the figure and you shoved him into the bike rack.

“go!” you said, running just behind the two sisters.

“there!” sam redirected you into a little corner store. you stood with your front to the door while the girls yelled at the cashier to help them, starting a fight with someone in line.

suddenly ghostface walked in.

you backed up into sam, pushing her backwards a little bit while one of the customers stood tall in front of the infamous killer.

you watched as ghostface drove their knife into the man, multiple times.

you gasped, your hand flying to your mouth. you had never seen anyone get killed before. you thought ghostface had specific targets, this wasn’t just an ordinary killer, this killer wasn’t afraid to take any life that stood in his way.

you turned around and the three of you flooded into the back of the store as the clerk wielded his gun.

when the first gunshot rang, sam’s arm flew to cover you as chips flew everywhere. tara was crouched just beside the two of you.

suddenly, there was a second gunshot. but only after you heard the clerk start begging for his life.

you tried to stay quiet, you didn’t realise where parts of your body were. you had a hand on sam’s abdomen, bunching her shirt into your fist. you were terrified, you had never gone through this before. you couldn’t imagine what sam & tara were feeling.

you couldn’t move— or else he would know where you were.

the corner store was quiet, it was like a cruel game of cat and mouse. you heard crunching as the sound of boots got closer to you.

all three of you rounded the corner to avoid detection. sam hid behind a freezer while you and tara hid behind the shelving. you saw sam’s eyes flicker to a can on the ground and you knew what she was trying to say.

carefully, you reached out and picked the can off the floor. it was disgusting and sticky. was this what they had to result to when defending themselves? putting themselves in disgusting situations? you felt twisted picturing them going through this once— now twice.

you threw the can across the corner store, hearing boots walk in the other direction. it was a successful distraction. the three of you started crawling towards the exit.

when you heard the boots stop moving again, you paused. sam leaned forward, you could tell that she could see a lot clearer than you. she slowly inched towards the shelving, then she suddenly shoved it with her shoulder, knocking it down.

god, she was strong.

had she been training herself to get stronger? in case this happened again?

the three of you hauled ass to the exit, being met with cop cars and their sirens.

the three of you were escorted into the cars. the sisters rode in one while you went in the other. you fidgeted with your fingers. then it was daunting on you.

baby’s first ghostface attack.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

you sat in an interrogation room at the precinct. the walls were closing in on you.

you had been close to death before. you remember when you and your parents got into that gnarly car accident that had you coming out with several broken bones and whiplash. you cradled your arm, feeling the after-effects of the worst injury you sustained.

but this wasn't a car t-boning yours. this was a killer.

and you felt like death was kissing your cheek.

you didn't know where sam and tara were, you assumed a different interrogation room. you were waiting for ages, you thought that maybe someone was attending to them first.

you sat in silence for about ten more minutes, trying to decompress the situation.

the lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing detective bailey. you had met quinn's dad in passing, never really speaking to him.

"mr. bailey. how are you?" you asked him, sitting up in your chair. you noticed he had files in his hand. this was going to take longer than you wanted.

"i'm good. thank you... how are you doing? you weren't around for woodsboro, i'm sure it's a bit of a shock to be involved now." straight into it.

"a bit is an understatement, sir." you let out a dry chuckle. "i'm assuming you're going to be asking me more than just 'how are you' though..."

"i'm sorry. i know you're probably tired." he sighed, you nodded. you were trying to hold back a yawn.

"it's fine."

he sat down across from you, opening the file and putting its contents in front of you.

"you're the newest addition to the group, quinn has talked about you. i know you and tara had a past relationship. were you frequently in and out of their apartment?" he asked.

"yeah... tara and i were together for a bit. i usually visited her and i also hang out with mindy and chad, so yes, i was frequently at theirs." you nodded, you often found that honesty was the best policy with these things.

"i know that your relationship with her ended badly." he stated, you scoffed.

"surely a bad break-up isn't enough motivation to go on these killing sprees, right?" you asked, a bit offended.

"sometimes it might just be."

"did you have access to sam carpenter's belongings?" he followed up. what did sam's stuff have to do with this?

"um... no. not really. i never really interacted with sam until ghostface was rumored to resurface. and even then, i don't really have that access." you crossed your arms across your chest, your eyes scanning the photos on the desk. you spotted a photo of sam's license, bloodied and dumped at the scene of the crime.

someone was trying to frame her.

"we found sam's license next to the body."

"well she was with me all day. we went grocery shopping and i cooked everyone dinner." you quickly jumped at the chance to defend her. "tara was there too."

mr. bailey nodded at you confirming their alibi.

"sam said the same thing." he reassured you. he leaned in a bit closer to you. "although, i'd be cautious about those sisters. especially sam. i wouldn't get too close."

your brows furrowed in frustration.

"i'm sure i have nothing to worry about. they're good people." you didn't want to speak any further on the matter.

you hated that the thought of either of them being responsible for these deaths even crossed the detective's mind. he was supposed to be helping them.

two knocks against the door turned the detective's attention to another officer walking into the room.

"the fbi is here." the officer said. detective bailey looked confused.

"the fbi? where?" he stood up then turned to you. "you're free to go. i think sam and tara are waiting for you."

you stood from your seat and followed him, making your way over to the two dark-haired sisters. tara was the first to spot you, nudging sam until she turned around.

you sped up, you didn't know what it was. you just had to make sure she was real.

you wrapped your arms around sam. you felt her tense up out of shock but return the gesture.

"i'm sorry." you apologised for the sudden hug.

"it's okay." sam smiled warmly.

you turned to tara and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly.

tara's eyes met yours. those pleading doe eyes, they wanted more than just a squeeze on the shoulder. she wished she was sam in that moment.

"i'm really glad you two are okay." you cleared your throat. sam smiled at you, even if it was forced, it was nice to see.

you heard two voices chatting just a little bit aways from you. sam started moving towards them, you and tara followed behind.

"kirby?" she spoke, getting the attention of a blonde woman.

"hey sam." kirby replied, moving to hug sam as well.

"do you know each other?" bailey asked.

"yeah... we went to woodsboro high together. she was a senior when i was a freshman." sam clarified. you studied the woman in front of you.

all you could say was that she looked cool. she was an fbi agent that had been monitoring the sisters for a little while. you realised that this had been the kirby involved with the killings too. they shared a very unique experience between each other.

you stayed behind sam while they conversed. kirby was handed the mask that was left at the scene. the mask used in the 2011 killings. kirby lifted her shirt to show the scar that charlie walker gave her.

sam looked uncomfortable. she realised then that this was bigger than just a killing spree, they were trying to send a message.

kirby proposed you all worked together but sam interjected, not giving her the chance to finish.

"we're getting out of town." she pushed through kirby and detective bailey.

"i'm sorry, that's not possible. you're both persons of interest. all three of you are." bailey warned.

"are you serious?" tara stepped forward, the growing frustration evident in her voice.

"he's right." kirby confirmed. "but if we work together-"

"we're going." sam basically barked an order at you and tara.

"my car's back at your place." you said. sam nodded. a small part of her brain was happy that you would be around after that.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

when the three of you made your way out of the precinct, you had never seen so many cameras before. reporters swarmed the three of you, immediately asking sam questions like if she had an alibi or if tara felt safe with her sister.

they didn't pay you any mind, how could they? you were fresh meat to the group, they didn't care about your story. luckily, it allowed you to mercilessly shove them back, helping make space for sam and tara to walk through the flood.

you found yourself holding onto sam's waist, pulling her towards the open spots you've created with your body pushing against the reporters.

"gale weathers." a voice sounded out in the crowd, causing the sisters to stop in their tracks. you knew that name too, it felt like an endless revision on who was who, if you had studied well enough. "do you ladies think that you're the reason that the ghostface killer has come to the big apple?" she asked.

you saw it in sam. she snapped. she'd had a long night, she nearly lost her life. she nearly lost her sister. and her... friend.

she swung with her fist out.

"sam!" you exclaimed as gale ducked, avoiding the punch. you pulled sam's waist back, you knew she didn't need another video of her going viral. she put her hands over yours, allowing you to hold her back. you had to admit, it felt nice knowing you had a bit of pull on her.

although, you failed to account for the shorter carpenter sister. you failed to catch her pulling her elbow back and swinging at gale with a force of her own.

you jumped at the noise made by the contact and had to hold back a laugh at gale's shocked face. sam cracked a smile, she couldn't help herself.

"stay away from us." tara spat at gale.

you two turned to walk towards a cab that was parked outside the station. you pushed sam slightly by her waist, hoping she wouldn't turn back around.

but gale weathers just had to say something.

"are you two seriously still mad about what happened?"

"you wrote a book. about them." she didn't expect you to say anything. she didn't know who you were or what you were to the carpenters. she looked at you as if you were irrelevant, like another body that ghostface could dispose of just to raise the numbers.

"and who are you?" she asked, a snark in her voice.

"doesn't matter. you took advantage of them. of the fact that they lost their friends, they nearly lost each other." you shook your head. "i remember you, from tara's stories."

tara watched you fight back. how could you still do that after she hurt you? you were full of surprises. she had never seen your tongue so laced with venom before.

"you lost someone too. dewey... if someone kept shoving that down your throat, how would you feel?" you asked, glaring her way as sam and tara entered the cab. gale's stance shifted, she was uncomfortable with a stranger knowing so much information about her personal life. but then again, she put the carpenter sisters' life out there for the whole world to see.

"i remember your book too. you called sam unstable, you painted her in the worst light possible. and i thought you had been through enough with her to know that that's not true." you turned back to the two girls, opening the door to the back of the cab for them.

sam's face was unreadable as she hopped into the car. she stared at the back of your head, or more like the back of your seat. you stood up for her, breaking your kind and golden-hearted demeanour. she was worried that being in this situation would change you for the worst.

you sat in silence after telling the driver where to go. leaning back into your seat, you tried to keep your eyes open. you hadn't gotten any sleep since last night, your time divided between the carpenter residence and the station.

there was so little to say and yet so many words were jumbled in your brain.

when you arrived at the carpenter's apartment, you yawned as you exited the cab. sam caught you do so and stopped you before you could unlock your car. her hand covered yours, gripping it in her own.

"you should rest here for a little bit. you're too tired to drive." she said, looking down at you. you wanted to get home and sleep in your own bed but you knew she was right.

you put your car keys away and walked upstairs with them.

tara immediately made a beeline for the bathroom. she always showered after coming home, she couldn't go a day without smelling like vanilla.

sam put pillows and blankets down on their couch and walked into her room, coming back out with some clothes.

"you can change into these for now, you might as well make yourself comfortable. and you can sleep for as long as you want." she said, you took the clothes and nodded at her.

she sat down on the couch and pulled the blanket up slightly to cover herself, you grabbed the blanket to stop her.

"what are you doing? i'll take the couch." you said, furrowing your brows.

"no. you'll take my bed." she looked up at you from the couch.

"it's your damn bed, sam." you didn't mean to sound so ill-mannered but the tiredness was getting the best of you.

"i know. so i'll do with it as i please." you know it was just her trying to show that she cared. "so you're taking it."

you sighed sharply, you were about to take a massive risk.

"share it with me." you said, holding your ground. you didn't want to kick sam out of her own bed.

she saw the determination on your face. you two were going to sit here and bicker if she didn't give in now. she nodded, standing up and making her way back to her room.

you changed into sam's clothes, her scent wafting as the shirt fell over your figure. then you cracked the door open enough to slip yourself into her room.

just as you entered sam's room, tara came out of the bathroom. she had the look of a shattered woman on her face, you should have been going into her room. she should have offered first.

you shut the door behind you, walking towards the bed where sam was sitting. you spotted her nursing her hand, spotting a deep cut from crawling on glass at the bodega.

"sam, you should've gotten that taken care of." you scolded her a little, walking to her bathroom and grabbing a medkit you knew was there. tara had told you that she put one in every bathroom.

you knelt in front of sam, unpacking the kit to grab the antiseptic and a bandage.

"it's fine, it's only a cut." she protested.

"if ghostface doesn't get you, an infected cut will. and i think that's extremely embarrassing." you tried to make light of it, your exhaustion washing over you. "this'll hurt."

you dabbed the antiseptic into sam's cut. she hissed at the sting. but the sight in front of her was better. you, in her clothes, patching her up. this was probably the worst time for her to form a crush, and probably the worst person to form it on. her sister's ex-girlfriend, who was now involved in the ghostface killings. but your soft features, your concern for her, it was hard to resist you.

she chalked it up to exhaustion, maybe this crush would fade away when she was in her right mind.

but when you situated yourself next to her in bed, your respectful nature forcing you to leave ample space so you two weren't touching each other, she hoped that she would one day earn the honour of closing that gap.

as she closed her eyes, she listened in to your soft breathing. and even when you accidentally ended up shoulder to shoulder in bed,

sam refused to move.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

author's journal okay i actually spent way too much time on this chapter, i had to write out the first 30 minutes of scream vi with a reader insert so it was a little bit more cohesive with the storyline. i don't know how i feel about this one chapter in particular but i'm starting to see the vision for the rest of the series teehee. i promise it wont just be the whole movie written down but it'll definitely have canon events. next chapter is most likely going to be non-canon as much as possible just cause this is a romance fic at the end of the day.

also this is the song i intended for the reader to be listening to with sam

#scream #scream fic #tara carpenter angst #tara carpenter x female reader #tara carpenter fic #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x f!reader #sam carpenter series #sam carpenter #sam carpenter angst #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter fic #sam carpenter x f!reader #Spotify

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pinksobg · 5 months ago

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late night conversation: characteristics and simple messages from your fs 🌌🌷

mostly for fun and for reflection: would you like a fs like that? would you like the things said? 💌🌼

let's go for the tea? 👀

__________

pile 1:

characteristics: oooh, good in my opinion!! you got: confident. knows how to take care of themselves in a good way. patient, knows to wait and respect opinions. they try their best, pile number 1.

professional field or passion: veterinarian, agriculturists, editor or design field. oh, took a little of a jump, right? 😅🌷 or maybe not? take what resonates to you please. :)

messages: they may like to talk, my pile mumber one. "yes, and?".

"I like what I see" huh 👀😅. "I like it". ok, they like something.

"Do you find me attractive?" oooh, I find it cute that one.

"Can't wait to see you again".

"I swam and the water was cold".

"Date". "Party".

"I'm sorry".

"I wonder how it is like to be loved by you".

"Bet you will be the one with the ring on the finger".

songs: 5 seconds of summer songs. cindy lou who. jão songs. eletric love.

__________

pile 2:

characteristics: resilient. optimistic, sees the good. prudential. loving person. maybe cool and collected as well. introvert vibes.

professional field or passion: waiter. teacher. mentor. psychologist. or maybe work in the care field.

messages: "you are attractive/hot, sorry"

"do you find me attractive?"

"I feel seen around you"

"You light me up"

"It's hard to breathe when you look at me"

Maybe your fs might been passed to a heartbreak not a long time ago.

songs: espresso. dandelions. that what's makes you beautiful by 1D.

__________

pile 3:

characteristics: calm. altruist. do certain things or most of them with ease. very calm energy.

professional field or passion: architect. nurse. journalist. maybe can have multiple interests or mostly likely to have more than one passion.

messages: maybe you don't know them yet my pile number 3. this is a good signal for you?

"Kiss me" wow, straightforward.

"Secret admirer" oh!

Oh. oh. oh. An advice! I wasn't expecting it. Maybe it's a call out. Maybe your standards are down right now. Or maybe you are giving much energy for something you shouldn't. Maybe you are waiting too much from emotional, romantic love to happen right now. And maybe it isn't the time yet. Oh! I wasn't expecting an advice. It is really from someone who loves you. Please, take what resonates. So, darling, it's okay, sometimes we mix something up. I remember a phrase from a kinda long time ago. It's something like: when something is missing, we try to overdo something to try to "fulfill". Darling, I understand. It's hard to heal something but it's time to recognize if something is wrong. Right? Like much social media, waiting too much on romantic love, feeling stuck on life...

My friend, when you are going through a, uhn, let's say - rollercoaster. There is some time that it is linear, right? To give impulse. Sometimes, so it's life. Maybe something is like stuck for you to try or focus on something else, something you love or it's good for you. Take care my friend. ❤💞💌

#hope you enjoy :)#tarot community #pick a card #tarotblr #thank you #tarot reading #pick a pile #free tarot #pick a picture #hope it makes sense

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floydira · 11 months ago

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₊˚﹒✶﹒trolls headcanons .ᐟ

brozone, creek & king trollex with a reader going through a breakdown, overthinking and panicking and how they deal with them.

note ; I somehow(?) accidentally deleted the person's ask for this. I don't remember exactly what they asked word for word. (I'm down on my knees apologizing to you rn, I'm so sorry anon 🙏) so hopefully based on my memory this is at least close to what you asked for. I also hope this headcanon is to your liking.

☆★﹒🎧 ﹐BROZONE

John Dory

erm. well. let's just say when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions, he's not really the best guy to depend on...

BUT considering he spent years by himself (and rhonda) with no other socialization, plus leaving his brothers behind and coming back to them after awhile out of conscious but seeing them nowhere to be found, he definitely felt lonely and HAD his own breakdowns before.

so he'd understand how you're feeling, or at least try to understand.

when he first saw you breaking down, his first instinct was to ask you questions "why are you breaking down?" "did something happen?"

if he doesn't get a reply from you, he'll respect your boundaries and not ask any further questions. he'll just focus on comforting you in the present, awkwardly patting your back and giving you words of affirmation that he thinks would work. like those motivational phrases or quotes online, maybe even those ones that facebook moms use.

if you do give a reply, he'll sit down next to you and hear you out. sipping a drink and lending his ears for you to vent. he'll keep quiet (internally, he's restraining himself from outing his own opinions on whatever you vented to him about).

In summary, he's a listener. If you let him voice his own opinions, he'll tell you his thoughts and views. more often than not, if he does give advice, it's probably best you don't actually follow them. I feel like he's bad at giving advice...

at least, he's got the spirit!

Spruce/Bruce

this troll has a wife and kids. I'm sure he's knowledgeable in comforting someone when they are breaking down or overthinks a lot.

if you're overthinking, he'll support you and keep you company but he's also honest that helps you actually evaluate your overthinking thoughts and not stress too much about them.

once you come to him looking vulnerable, he'll immediately try to soothe you by rubbing your back gently. yk like those back rubs that puts babies to sleep? yeah, he'll do that.

while he rubs your back, he urges you to take a deep breath and let it all out. so you do. unknowingly you ranted and ranted, every little detail spoken word to word. he just has that affect on people.

lets you know that what you're going through is valid.

once you're all done, he'll give you advice to ease you or if you're not looking for advice, he'll just comfort you until you feel better.

Clay

he literally is in a sad book club, he'll have the knowledge about it and how to deal with it. except...he's slightly bad at executing it.

he'll snap you out of overthinking by yelling positive stuff to you, that are actually...effective???

if you rant to him, he'll listen to you attentively and pat your head afterwards. it's just something natural that he does, honestly head pats are soothing ok.

if you're okay with physical touch, he'll caress your face while giving you actually reassuring words. (LIKE. have you SEEN him literally pinching and squishing branch's face when he first met him after 20 years?!) of course, it's effective, combined with his already nice vibe (I feel like he naturally has a healing presence, he's just a sweet little boring cutie)

his method of comforting you naturally makes you feel better. he doesn't have to try hard because just watching his body language and mannerisms are dorky enough that it'll make you smile. he's unknowingly comforting in a silly dorky way. even with how badly he persists to be a very "serious" guy.

he'll definitely give you a big warm hug after everything.

Floyd

he's literally called the sensitive one. out of the brothers, he's definitely the one who understands you the most.

I don't think I even need to explain, you already know how perfect he is with dealing with stuff like that. like the time he talked to veneer about how his sister treats him and how he shouldn't let her be like that to him.

his face is full of worry if he sees you in a vulnerable state.

he literally gives the best hugs, it's canon, I know it's canon.

this emo mf knows exactly the right words to get you out of your vulnerable state for a while (bc the phrases he gives to others are probably what he wants to hear given to him).

he'll be really patient with you and help you with every step along the way even if you're having a hard time changing your bad traits.

he's also attentive at listening, he'll caress your hands with his thumb with a reassuring smile.

he'll be really sweet at tackling your situation and never makes you feel overwhelmed.

will cry with you tbh.

he's kind of helping himself when he helps you, because he's similar in a way.

Branch

branch was quite the panicker himself during the times when bergens ate trolls.

so he'd also know how to help you deal with it because he understands you.

he had to figure it out himself and was mostly alone to deal with his own vulnerability so he's happy to help you.

he'll look calm, composed and collected externally but even he, himself is slightly panicking on the inside. afraid that he'll let you down or he won't be of much help. don't worry though, he has it all put together after a bit.

If you're panicking, he'll help you focus, calm down and ease your hyperventilation.

"concentrate on your breathing, okay?"

once you've calmed down, he'll provide you with reassuring words.

he'll keep you company and stay with you until you feel composed enough to talk about it with him. he'll lend you an ear.

afterwards, he pats you on the shoulder and gives you advice that worked on him before.

━━━━━━━━━━

Creek

as bad as he is, he's literally the best when it comes to relaxation. he has that zen-like wisdom, so he'll calm you down and help you relax if you're panicking or overthinking too much.

just like floyd, he also knows exactly what to say to reassure or cheer someone up.

he'll give you a more positive outlook on whatever happened to you so that you don't overthink it.

tbh his voice itself is enough to calm you down.

he encourages different methods and ways(that he knows of) to you that could help.

King Trollex

this sweet goober offers you all his emotional support.

he feels upset, if you're upset. he's all frowny when he sees you vulnerable.

"can I give you a hug?" ofc he asks for consent.

will hug you tightly (he thinks hugs are a remedy for everything, besides music), quiet sobs are heard as his face is smooshed against your chest. just like bruce, he'll also rub your back soothingly while hugging you.

Intertwines both of your hands and encourages you to put your thoughts into words so that he knows what's going on that head of yours that's overthinking a lot of stuff.

keeps eye contact with you as you rant to him.

"you can get through this." he'll say with his cute smile.

the most he can provide is listening and comfort. he wishes he could help you more.

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crownmemes · 2 months ago

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Daddy Issues Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences for discussing the effects of an absent parent and/or confronting one's own father. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"We need to discuss your father."

"You don't care about your family's legacy?"

"What is it in me you hate so much? All I ever wanted was to live up to you."

"If you bring disgrace on this family, you will regret it."

"Do you think if I were more like you, he would have loved me more? If I was normal?"

"I spent my childhood trying to work out if my dad was only mean or just plain bad."

"I don't want to be a burden to you..."

"When I was a boy, I wanted to impress my dad so much. No matter how hard I tried, I always fell short."

"You're too hard on yourself. You always have been."

"Our parents aren't perfect, but they're trying their best."

"I don't underestimate my father, by the way. I understand him - sometimes more than I want to."

"From what my mum told me, I think you're my dad."

"I love you, I really do. It's just, somehow, it's hard for me to show that when you're here."

"We are not our parents until we choose to be."

"Even now, he still wants nothing to do with me."

"I know that rationally he isn't responsible for all the bad things in the world, but he is responsible for some of them."

"My dad doesn't even like me."

"Have you ever told your father what you just told me?"

"Stop. You're not my father."

"Is he really your father? He's scary."

"When was the last time your father told you he loved you?"

"Look at you; relieved you didn't disappoint. That's a weakness."

"Do you think our fathers would be proud of us?"

"What is a son's duty to his father? To respect him, even if he doesn't deserve our respect?"

"Your faults as a son are my failure as a father."

"You've done more for me in the past few days than my father's done in my entire life."

"I know this sounds impossible, but you have to talk to him. You have to show him who you are - what your heart is."

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #assorted;#sad;#family;

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nrdmssgs · 5 months ago

Note

Making Nikto a meal from his homeland 🥺

Maybe learning enough Russian to say that you care for him?

Masterlist

Love, I kinda-sorta have something similar here, but, I'm ready to feed this sweet guy his favorite meals on a daily basis.

Nikto doesn't get sentimental when it comes to his homeland. At least not when others are around. His house is not full of Russian books, shelves are not littered with trinkets from there, he doesn't watch films from his childhood with you. It might seem, that he's just indifferent to his own past, but you suspect, this is not the case.

He's stubborn, headstrong, “don't understand, what's there to miss” each time you ask him about his childhood. But notice little cracks in his demeanor, when he pauses a little too long, seeing something, that reminds him of home. It can be a dilapidated prefab panel block, any other person would avoid looking at. You already remember its funny name - 'panelka'. Sometimes it's just a streetlamp, captivating a gloving cone of snowflakes swirling around. You believe, there is no particular name for this, but in moments like this Nikto's gaze grows distant, and he mutters 'kak v detststve'.

You don't know what that means. The problem with Russian is that it's so terribly complicated to distinguish spoken words, that you fail to even write down what Andre is saying to himself in such situations to try to translate it later. When you ask him to teach you more words - he pulls a pitiful face and huffs.

"You don't need Russian."

It seems, he doesn't realize, how much you do need it. Because the cracks are right there, before your eyes. And behind them - his aching heart. Skipping a beat before an old ugly house, freezing under that streetlamp.

It's enough of joy to him to just open the door of your shared place and hear you there right away. You are enough for him to not be bothered by anything missing from his life.

That is why he's confused, when you meet him at the door and don't let take a single step in, before you recite a little speech, that you brought together with the help of online videos, some of your friends and a good dozen of dictionaries.

"...Ya skuchalali i dumala o tebya i potomy prigotovila odnu vesh`*"

He doesn't care for your little mistakes. Nikto pulls his mask and balaclava off, and you see little crinkles gathering around the corners of pale blue eyes. This man's eyes can scare, paralyze, haunt, but also - smile, shine with a silent, yet obvious gratitude. And something almost elusive - softness grows more present deep in his gaze with each your word.

You finish your speech and take his hand to lead him to the kitchen, but he pulls you back for a hug.

"Idi syuda*." And he hides you in his arms, softly cups the back of your head and buries his face in your hair, inhaling deeply. This phrase you know already: he uses it, when he desperately craves your proximity. His way of calling you to come closer, when all the languages, he speaks, mix together, or he's just tired.

No words shared afterwards - only soft touches, breaths calming down, deepening. Maybe you considered learning a few sentences in Russian not a big deal, but to him this means a lot. You, caring for the parts of his life, that even Nikto himself gave up on.

When you finally pull him to show, what you cooked, he's speechless. It takes some time to convince him to come closer to the dinner table. Such a powerful, dangerous animal, he now walks in the tiniest cautious step. As a wild dog, not sure, if he's about to get a treat or to get captured.

You giggle and point to every bowl, telling him, how you made it. It was a battle to remember, so many youtube vids watched, so many tries and fails now you have mad respect to all those Russian, babushkas...

You fall silent, when he slowly squats down, resting his chin on the edge of the table. He looks struck, disarmed and lost.

"All that... for me?" he asks barely audible, and you nod enthusiastically.

Nikto takes a deep breath and exhales familiar words.

"Kak v detstve*"

You are still not sure, what does it mean, but judging by how much kisses he gives you, this 'kakvdetstve' thing makes him really happy. A kiss after every second bite. Andre can't concentrate on either tasting your delicious food or tasting your soft blushing cheeks, so he combines two experiences.

He doesn't let go of you even a few hours later, when you two are in your bed already. You slowly fall asleep to the low rumble and purr of his breathing. Your face pressed to his chest, and the drape of his arm warmer than any blanket. The span of his fingers over your chest is a heavy comfort. You brought him home today and the only thing, he wishes for is to do the same for you.

...Ya skuchalali i dumala o tebya i potomy prigotovila odnu vesh`* - I missed you and thought about you, so I cooked you something. (although intentionally with mistakes)

Idi syuda* - come here

Kak v detstve* - like it was in the childhood

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 4 months ago

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I was reading through Leona's Playful Land card lines and a certain line jumped out to me. (btw I'm using mysteryshoptls translations!)

"Fellow is a typical omnivore. He’ll wag his tail at both the carnivores and herbivores, just to swipe the tastiest morsels he can."

I don't think we've ever seen Leona refer to anyone as an omnivore outside of this moment. I know it's been established that he calls people herbivore's because he doesn't exactly respect them. It does make me wonder what the distinction is between an herbivore, omnivore, and carnivore to him.

Interesting 🤔 “Herbivore” is general term Leona uses to refer to several other individuals or groups of people. Here is one example—note that "herbivore" is not capitalized, and is therefore a general noun, and the plural form is used, meaning it is not exclusive to Yuu:

But yes, "herbivore" is not meant to be a cute silly ha-ha endearing nickname in spite of how commonly it seems to be utilized as one in the fandom; from how Leona implements it (often when he is annoyed at others for forcing his hand or in that languid, arrogant tone he usually takes), the phrase is derogatory and implies "herbivores" are weak and passive. And he, a carnivore, is above you in strength and in the literal food chain. In doing this, Leona is basically looking down on everyone.

It's fascinating to see that Leona refers to Fellow as an omnivore; the implied definition here also serves in the carnivore-herbivore dynamic we've become accustomed to up until this point. According to Leona's voice line, an omnivore is someone who caters and kisses up to both carnivores (the strong) and herbivores (the weak), switching it up when it best suits him and his needs. Fellow is an opportunist willing to do what it takes for his own survival. He's adaptable, someone whose strength lies in the middle—and that's what makes an omnivore. Whether Leona actually respects them more than an herbivore or not... That's yet to be determined since we've seen him use the phrase so little compared to herbivores.

I’m surprised we haven’t heard Leona use “omnivore” for Ruggie?? Because Ruggie too is someone who kisses up to whoever will best serve his needs (and Leona is aware of this, as he mentions Ruggie sticking with stronger people as a means of survival on book 6). Maybe it’s because Leona knows Ruggie on a personal level so he doesn’t even bother with anything but his actual name. He generally gives a “nickname” to people he doesn’t like, such as “lizard” for Malleus, “octopunk” for Azul, “radish sprout” for Idia, “Azul’s henchman” for Jade, etc. Personally, I'd also like to think that a part of Leona at least respects how Fellow makes up for his magical deficits with his quick-wittedness (y'know, putting aside all the objectively heinous shit Fellow was complacent to and participated in). Man's just making the best of a shitty hand of cards he was dealt, not much different from Leona's own circumstances or even Ruggie's. And hey, Fellow's aware of his own strengths and how to maximize them, something that Leona often stresses the importance of in vignettes, events, and the main story.

Those are my thoughts, at least! ^^

#twst #twisted wonderland #Leona Kingscholar #Fellow Honest #Ruggie Bucchi #stage in playful land spoilers #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #Yuu #notes from the writing raven #question #twst theory #twst theories #twisted wonderland theory #twisted wonderland theories #book 6 spoilers #Gino #Ernesto Foulworth

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loveandleases · 2 months ago

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THIRD ASK (honestly, I'm not sure if you'd even wanna answer this XD I can feel the sins on this one):

Okay, this is a reaction for each RO, in rela stage, to highlight a comeback of how they had their first meet with MC and/or one of the highlighted moments. (You'll see why below)

Cam: He just came home, probably pent up (?) and he just comes home to see MC looking at him knowingly and suggestively licking the cream off the oreo before smiling adoringly and say "I bought Oreos.", a reminder of the last time they used that phrase.

G: Remember that ol'sweater that was once 'taken' and now returned all those times ago? Welp, imagine G walking into the bedroom to find MC wearing it. And only it, with the end of the sweater just above the mid-thigh (or somewhere close to it, given the possible height difference). All the while, MC is sitting there with a little grin, like a cat that ate the canary.

Kara: Not only did she help with starting up the business, she even saved MC's ass by providing them one of the shirts for the mishap. So imagine that shirt popping up again, this time on MC - with a collar that says 'Kara's' too, just to 'remember naming' this time. (I wish I can think up better, I am so sorry for the Kara-mancers out there (；′⌒`)

M: Ah yes, the writer. The one who gave you a signed copy of their book! Then MC comes up to M, asking if they could read them a 'bedtime story'. For some compelling reason, M allows it - and turns out, MC ends up reading the book in a sultry tone, maybe even close to M's ears if they allow it.

Isaac: (Honestly, I don't have much interaction with them). But maybe MC ends up in a delivery uniform, carrying a surprise gift as the delivery package for Isaac? Could be something sweet or something spicy, either way, it's something to set a mood. (Again, I'm sorry to all I-mancers /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~ )

Ardent: The walking 'wall' himself. Obviously, the easy thing to do is probs Ardent walking into MC naked with no more than pieces of cake on them - but for the sake of preventing ants on the bed, it could be something else. Maybe MC surprised Ardent with a cake, a similar one to when they first met...Except the words on the cake is probs something teasing, like 'Happy Birthday, old man', 'Happy Anniversary, Balloon Man' or even 'Worth 30 Minutes?'. (And yes, MC did wait in line for 30 or more mins for this cake).

SO, WHAT WOULD EACH OF THE ROS DO WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE SCENARIO (AND I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LONG ASF ಥ_ಥ)

The sins are there!!! (how could I forget the oreo...) (some of these are short some long but all below the cut!

❤️ Cam - First he would think oh yay Oreos...until it clicks in his head about the last time MC said they bought Oreos. His pale cheeks will blossom with color in an instant. Ruby red. He knows MC is doing it to tease him, and two can play this game. Cam would walk over, taking the Oreo from their hand and simply say, "I guess you couldn't wait, huh? You know I have a much better filling if you're so hungry." (sometimes he's just too ballsy)

💙 G - They nod their head, blowing a breath between their lips that have pulled into a grin. "I fucking knew it." They knew MC took it, just like they kept something of MC's. G pops their hip out, hand held out waiting for what's rightfully theirs. "Give it." When MC doesn't budge G will walk over ready to take it off. Of course, MC will gladly let them try, intent on using the sleeves to keep G in place later.

💚 Kara - (that's actually super cute.) "What's this?" Kara runs a finger along the collar, leaning into MC's personal space. "Mine." She giggles pressing her lips against the collar and leaving a print of her lipstick behind.

"I honestly hope you forget more often, who knows where I can kiss next."

💛 M - "With a feather-light touch, his lips ghost along her spine. Her breath hitching as he goes lower."

M gulps loudly, hands pulling their blanket to the top of their cheeks. Their eyes are shut tight, and their breathing heavy. "Wh-why did you choose this book?" They stammer out, their brow pinched together.

You lean closer, blowing a stray hair from their forehead causing their eyes to open and stare at you.

"Do you not like it?" You ask, your voice low and inviting. Your lips pull into a slow teasing smile causing M's eyes to fall on your lips.

They nod fervently, using a hand to cover their eyes. "I-I..fuck."

"I'll stop here then."

Before you can close the page, M reaches forward grabbing your hand. They don't dare meet your gaze; instead, they focus on your legs, which are brushing against the side of their bed. "Not yet."

💜 Isaac - You knock rapidly on the door, listening closely as Isaac comes to open it. "Listen I don't have an- Oh." They catch on your appearance, shorts yanked high showing off your thighs.

"I need your signature." You motion to the pen in your hand, cocking your hip out as Isaac leans against the door frame.

"Is that so? What's the package?" He asks, quirking a brow as he glides his hand along your own and plucks the pen from your hand.

Once you see the pen is firmly in his grasp you turn, allowing him to read the writing on the back of your shorts.

Isaac chuckles, pulling at the bottom hem so the writing is easier to read. He grabs your arm pulling you against him, allowing his arms to wrap around your waist. "I don't need to write my name on your butt to know your mine. You decided that when you chose to stay."

🖤 Ardent - "You be good, alright? I have your cat nip toys and treats. You just, I don't know don't come clawing his back when he gets here." Cupid stares blankly at you as you set the cake on the bed.

She meows nuzzling your hand as you go to pick her up, "I promise I'll play with you when he's feeling better, okay?" Cupid flicks her tail at your hand and makes her way out of the bedroom.

The door opens not long after and you decide to get comfortable, leaning back into the pillows allowing Ardent's t-shirt to hang from your frame. Once he gets closer you light the candle on top. Grinning at the writing, "Worth 30 minutes?"

The door is pushed fully open and there he stands, his hair half up and his brow raised in question. "You didn't." He says motioning to the cake on the bed. A lone strand of wax runs down the candle.

You lean over, allowing the shirt to gape and show Ardent your chest as you pull the candle out of the cake and use your hand to wipe the wax off it. You then use your tongue to lick off the icing that clings to the bottom of the candle. "I did."

His eyes darken watching you, yanking the tie out of his hair and pulling off his shirt. "What's the occasion?" He asks as he goes to sit on the bed near you, taking the candle from your hands. His rough hands stroke your cheek lovingly, as his thumb moves to swipe the icing along your lip.

"What is it too soon to get you a cake reminding you of how we met?"

Ardent groans, his hand rubbing along his face as he looks down to read the red writing. "I'd say you're worth more than thirty minutes."

"How much?"

"What?"

"How much am I worth to you?"

Ardent leans forward, his hand cradling the back of your neck as he rubs his nose against yours, his lip pressing softly into your own. "Everything I have and more."

#love and leases #loveandleases #cam #g #kara #isaac #m #ardent #sick so some aren't as long i didn't do them in order but eh.

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wishful-seeker · 1 month ago

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Whats Inspiration Porn and how do i avoid it?

I remember a few years ago i went to a pro choice rally, i was the only one in a wheelchair, many strangers came up to me telling me how strong i was, how i was a representation of how no one had an "excuse" not to be here, and they took photos with me to post online and gush about how much of an inspiration i was. This event made me weirdly uncomfortable and i couldn't figure out why for a long time. I felt dehumanized, like to them i was an object, a trophy, a representation of their ablist views. Then i learned about inspiration porn an realized what happened to me.

Inspiration porn is when someone, usually an abled person, objectivities a disabled person. Putting all of their achievements on a pedestal to motivate other people. In that moment we are not treated like people, to them we are just an excuse to tell others they aren't doing enough.

It has a tone of "the disabled person can do it, so why can't you?" Which is frankly an ablist mindset.

By making our lives about YOU you are putting down all other disabled people for not doing the same.

I hear the phrase "no excuses" a lot regarding inspiration porn, implying those who cannot achieve these high standards are experiencing a moral failing. And its not just putting down other disabled people, but also abled people who simply don't have the means to do what the inspiration porn expects of them. It's saying "if you cant do what this disabled person did then you are lazy and a worse person." Which is just ablist as fuck.

Some characteristics of inspiration porn online:

Using photos, videos, or stories of disabled people WITHOUT THE DISABLED PERSONS PERMISSION. Do you know how icky it feels to achieve an accomplishment as a disabled person and then run across photos of you online filled with comments treating you like a prized show dog? Its gross.

Lots of phrases like "this is the definition of "no excuses"." And "they have my respect for doing this DESPITE their weakness/disability" (im literally writing this post because i JUST saw someone literally say "weakness" this way.) And "not disabled! Differently abled!"

We are not stories and characters, we are real people with lives just like you. We are not trophies, or an inspiration, we are just regular ass people. If you see something like this online know that the disabled community doesn't respect them at all. Don't do this.

#cripple punk #physical disability #disabled #chronically ill #chronic illness

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newtthetranswriter · 5 months ago

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Hi!! I was wondering if I could make a request for headcannons for Natsu, Gajeel, Bickslow, and Laxus reacting to their girlfriend saying I love you to them for the first time?? She knows she loves them, and they know she does too, but she's always had a hard time actually saying the words out loud. I hope that makes sense, I'm so sorry if it doesn't. I struggle explaining anything I come up with, it's okay of you don't wanna write it too. Thanks for even just checking this request, hope your day is going well!!!

A/n: Hi, I'm doing great, How are you? This makes sense to me so don't worry about that, I also understand not being able to explain things so i get it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Natsu:

He also has trouble saying how he feels so he would never pressure anyone to voice their feelings if they aren't ready

So when you quietly say 'I love you' one afternoon, he completely freezes

Natsu has known for a while that you loved him, with the random gifts you would give or your need to be close to him, he understood and was happy just receiving your affections that way

But hearing those words, that are so quite that had it not been for his heightened senses he would have missed them, he completely freezes

After taking a second to process what just happened, he pulls you into a tight hug, whispering the phrase back to you

He makes sure that you know he feels the same and that he is overjoyed that you felt comfortable enough to say those words

Gajeel:

He's dense but he could tell you cared for him, especially with the relaxed scent you gave off when you are around him

He's never been big on feelings and mushy words so he never expects you to say those three words

So when it does happen he has to do a double take, and freezes for much longer than Natsu would

He'd just stare for a good minute or two trying to figure out if he actually heard you right, he only snaps out of it when he realizes that you are panicking and trying to take it back

Gajeel will definitely panic while trying to reassure you that he feels the same and that you didn't do anything wrong, he's bad with words give him a second

After words he will shower you in gifts and compliments for your bravery and as an apology for making you worry that he didn't feel the same

Laxus:

He short circuits, like you can see the electricity crackling around him as he processes what you said

Laxus may be harsh to others but to the ones he loves he can be vary gentle

So you can expect him saying that he loves you too, and he even goes as far as thanking you because he's done some shitty stuff and is honored to still receive your love

Later after the shock wears of though he is definitely going to make comments about how he knew for a while he just wanted you to say something first

He is extremely respectful of your boundaries and will always wait for you to make the first move

Bickslow: (I love this man and he needs more attention)

Anyways, he is completely flabbergasted

Like yeah, you've been dating for awhile and he knew you loved him after all why else would you deal with his bullshit, but like hearing you say it that's a whole new ball game

Bickslow will 100% ask if you are sure because he doesn't want you to say it now and then decide later that you regret it because it will break him

He just can't hold back the smile that crosses his face when you assure him that yes you in fact really mean it

He then has to hold in a laugh after he says he loves you too because his babies are repeating the sentiment while bumping into your sides causing you to start laughing

#x reader #fairy tail x reader #newt writes #answering requests #bickslow headcanons #bickslow x reader #fairy tail headcanons #fairy tail bickslow #fairy tail natsu #natsu dragneel headcanons #natsu headcanons #natsu dragneel x reader #laxus headcanons #fairy tail laxus #laxus x reader #gajeel headcanons #gajeel x reader #fairy tail gajeel

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hyuuukais · 3 months ago

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⋆₊‧⁺˖⋆˚.⋆ ͙͘͡★ LOOK UP TO THE STARS

pairing ▪︎ han jisung x fem reader

synopsis ▪︎ sent out on a mission to a neighbouring QZ that's gone radio silent, y/n falls into the hands of a post-rebellion group after things go terribly wrong. giving up on rejoining her squad, she joins the group on a trek to find a missing member, the group leader's sister. what's supposed to be a not-so-simple trip out and back to their base becomes a one-way ticket to the end of everything they know.

warnings ▪︎ general, yn kinda meanish to han, yn feeling like a burden

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER TWO ▪︎ LIFE BEYOND THE WALLS (6.9k)

For being the guy who saved your life, Han Jisung turned out to be a pain in the ass.

It had been about three months since joining this post-rebellion group, if you could call it that. They reside in a small, fenced-in town, only about one intersection big. Before you'd been taken to where a group of them were camping out, waiting for the right time to strike the QZ for resources. Although you couldn't commend their actions, you understood them.

Fewer people lived in the town than there were in your squad, only six of them. You'd met Jeongin long before when he was a cadet with you, disappearing soon after. No one knew what happened to him, assuming he'd been bitten or died, but now you knew the truth, and Seungmin knew too. He'd stayed by you during your recovery, teasing you relentlessly about almost dying; you knew it was because the thought of that scared him.

Chan turned out to be exactly what Han had called him when you first met; the captain, although he didn't like to be called that, much more humble than some people. You'd properly met Chaeryeong after being able to leave the tent, learning she was the other sniper. Everyone had roles; Chan the leader, Chaeryeong and Han the snipers, and Jeongin the healer. The others you met were Hyunjin, a skilled fighter with liquid movements, and Felix, a recent recruit training next to Jeongin to learn medicine the best he could out here; a bit of a pacifist, but will do what's needed.

The first couple of weeks were tough; learning to move around with a broken limb was a first for you. Sure, you'd sprained your wrist or your ankle here and there during training, but you'd never had your leg crushed by a piece of wall before. Lucky for you, it was below your knee and a surprisingly clean break, but the healing process would be long regardless. Everyone here treated you hesitantly, unsure of your intentions. Seungmin was different, instantly earning respect from what Jeongin had told the group about him previously.

To say you felt like an alien was an understatement. After the first month it became clear that returning to your QZ was no longer an option. It had been too long, they wouldn't trust you anymore. You only brought up going back once during your first week there.

"How long do you plan on having us?" You'd asked Chan.

It was night and you were sitting on a pull out chair staring into a campfire in the backyard of his house. There were enough houses on this small intersection for the six of them, an extra reserved for people passing through.

"As long as you want or need to stay," He replied, looking over at you.

You couldn't meet his gaze. "I don't know if I can go back."

"Why not?" He asked. "It's not too late. You can say you escaped us and found your way back if they question you."

"I know, it's not that." You considered leaving it there, unsure how to phrase the next part. "The mission we were sent on wasn't supposed to go down like that. We were told it was a search and rescue and that most of the infected had left, but clearly that wasn't the case." You finally looked at him, face blank. "They sent us out to die."

He nodded, taking in the information. When he said nothing, you continued.

"Maybe my place isn't there anymore. I didn't grow up there like most others and never really felt like I belonged there," You sighed. "Then I met Seungmin and that changed, kind of. I always had Minho, but- ugh. It's complicated."

Waving a hand in the air, you shook your head.

"He's your family," Chan said slowly.

"He left me," Your words came out harsher than you expected. "And now I don't know what to think. Not to mention Minho knew what we were walking into and said nothing."

"Ouch," Chan hissed. "How does Seungmin feel about all of this?"

"Pretty sure he's glad to be out of there," You laughed. "He never liked it very much, always challenging authority subtlety... and not so subtlety."

You ended up sleeping on Chan's couch that night, too tired and heavy with emotions to return to your shared house with Seungmin; he knew you too well not to press.

Nobody said anything, just accepted you into the group after the first month passed and it became clear you weren't leaving. After that, people started interacting with you more, making small talk here and there. Your respect grew for each member the more you heard about their struggles to survive. It turned out the only one with experience in a quarantine zone outside of yourself, Seungmin, and Jeongin, was Hyunjin, which made sense to you as he had similar fighting techniques to the ones you've learned, but he's made them his own.

"I left when I was sixteen," He said one night while visiting you to cook dinner; "a proper welcome" as he put it. "Never looked back. Chan found me half dead in the back of a convenience store."

"He has a habit of doing that, huh?"

"Yeah," He laughed. "He really does."

Cut to present day where you're laying in bed early in the morning, Hyunjin lying next to you in the sun, rays reflecting in his dark eyes as he stares at you. He'd stayed over after another late night cooking session.

"Good morning," He smiles, propping himself up with his arm and using the other to trace a finger over your bare shoulder blade.

"Morning," You mumble, face half smushed into the pillow.

Not much later, you were dressed and ready for the day, leaving to meet up with Jeongin to check your leg. By now it was pretty much healed, but still aching. You haven't been allowed to leave town at all, staying back to rest. Hyunjin trailed a short distance behind you, humming a tune.

"Hey lovebirds," Seungmin teases as you step onto the porch, rolling your eyes. "Sleep well? Did you sleep?"

"Shut up," You playfully smack his shoulder, stopping next to him with a hand on your hip. "Jeongin inside?"

"Where else would he be?" Seungmin says. "Chan's there, Han too."

Groaning, you head in, knocking lightly so you don't startle anyone. You didn't have a problem with Han exactly, but he definitely had one with you. Since you arrived, he seems to have made it his life mission to annoy you, questioning your every move. It only got worse once you and Hyunjin became closer.

"What's going on?" You ask, joining the three in Jeongins dining room.

Chan looks up from the map displayed in front of him, eyeing Hyunjin as he sits next to you. A lot went unsaid about relationships within the group, but it wasn't hard to tell something was going on. In all your years in the QZ, you'd never acted upon feelings for someone in fear of rejection, but with him, it felt easy. You didn't need to say anything about your lack of experience in this field, he somehow just understood.

"A transmission came in today," Chan starts, pointing at a red mark on the map. "This is where we estimate it came from. Problem is, that it's in the middle of a huge city. There's no way we can get in there without detection. Chances are they're already dead by the time we get there."

"What was the message?" You ask, eyebrows furrowed. "Search and rescue? Resources? Info?"

"...yes?" Chan says. "First it explained the group was trapped in the lower level of a hospital when out on a medical run. They reached where they needed to be, but there are too many infected roaming the halls for them to get out the way they came, and the other way is blocked."

"Shit, that's not good." Hyunjin's eyebrows raise.

"No, it's not. We caught wind of this, but I'm pretty sure it was meant for a QZ to hear, not us. If we can get there first, we can gather the supplies we need as well since we're starting to run low." Chan straightens, analyzing the map. "We'd all have to go."

Thinking about it, this doesn't seem like the type of plan Chan would usually make, nor the kind of transmission he'd respond to. This was dangerous, risky; you knew him well enough to know he wouldn't put his people in that kind of situation for something so simple. There has to be more.

"This is a bad idea," You say, breaking the silence.

"Correct," Jeongin speaks for the first time since you've entered his home. "A terrible one."

He side-eyes Chan who ignores the look.

"These people might have information," Chan says carefully. "About... about Hannah."

Jeongin and Hyunjin startle at this, but only Hyunjin speaks. "Hannah? You really think so?"

"I think it's possible."

"Then we have to go, don't we?" Han looks around the table at everyone's faces.

"It's not that simple," Chan says, shaking his head. "Someone like her was described to be badly hurt; the whole reason they had to go to this hospital in the first place. It might not even be her. That's why I need you all to convince me this isn't worth it."

"Who's Hannah?"

Everyone looks at you.

"Um, sorry." You look away, picking at your nails. "Should I not ask that?"

"No, no, you can." Chan breathes. "She's my sister."

"Oh."

"Oh," Chan repeats. "'Oh' is right."

"How far is this city?" You ask. "And how sure are you it's her?"

"About three hours away from here, but we only have enough gas for half of that." Chan finally sits, running a hand through his short hair. "There's a gas station not too far we can walk to and we can siphon some from cars we pass. As for Hannah," he sighs and puts his arm out to reveal a tattoo on his wrist. "We have matching ones. Hers a star and mine the moon."

"Y/n and I can go to the gas station," Hyunjin volunteers. "I'm sure she'd love to get out now that she can."

You nod eagerly, watching Chan move his arm back to his lap.

"Are you sure you're up to this Y/n?"

"Yes, completely."

"Okay," Chan looks over to Jeongin. "Check her over and make sure she's okay to go first. And you, " He points to Han. "Go with them."

You suppress a groan.

"I mean, that's why she's here in the first place," Jeongin mumbles. "You just got here earlier than expected."

At the same time, Han says, "Aye-aye, Captain."

"My bad," Chan laughs sheepishly. "I'll see myself out then."

"Y/n, get over here." Jeongin stands, starting toward another room. "Hyunjin, Han, you stay there. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. You understand."

Hyunjin grumbles as you leave, a smile forming on your face. You have something good with him.

"Will there be infected, do you think?"

Hyunjin pouts his lips a bit, thinking for a moment. "No, there shouldn't be. I went on a patrol that passed through here two weeks ago with Han and we cleared out a few stragglers. There are tripwires in the surrounding perimeter that we put up that day too, to try and prevent more from showing up."

This is the first real chance you've had to see outside of the small town the group has built for themselves. Not far from town is the gas station, then further down, a bigger town. You'd asked once why they didn't fence in the bigger town in case they grew in numbers and couldn't house everyone, Chan saying it was all they could do at the time. And since then, they've only lost people.

One of the people they've lost must have been Hannah. As much as you want to know what happened to her and how they got separated, you didn't press Chan. He'd tell you if he wanted to and when it was important. Nobody really mentioned anyone else, too painful to relive the memories. You figured you were lucky. The closest you've become to losing someone was when Jeongin went missing, but even then, you barely knew him. Then there were your parents, but you were young and don't remember much of them.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm?" You look up at Hyunjin, sunlight highlighting his soft features. "How do you people always know when I'm deep in thought?"

"You squint and angle your head." Hyunjin comes to a stop, hand finding yours. "And you furrow your eyebrows. It's really cute."

Hyunjin looks back at Han, who seems to be lost in his own thoughts. His other hand traces your brow bone down to your jaw and ends at your chin, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. Smiling, you start to lean in, and he does too. Lips barely touching yours, he pulls away at the sound of a vehicle approaching. You move apart and he pulls you to the side of the road, stepping slightly in front of you.

"Need a ride?" The truck slows next to you, window rolled down to reveal a man just older than you, maybe around Chan's age.

"Nope, we know where we're going," Hyunjin answers.

The man looks between you two and smirks. "Don't get too distracted out here, you never know what might get you."

With that, he drives away, a funny feeling left in your chest.

"What was that about?" You almost forgot Han was with you.

"Nothing," You say. "Let's keep going."

Han rolls his eyes and Hyunjin jogs up back next to you, hand on the small of your back. The feeling of his hand is a small comfort, easing the nerves in your belly. Not many people passed through this part so you didn't know how to take his warning. If he meant the infected, did he not notice your weapons? You're more than prepared for a fight.

There's a break in the trees signalling the gas station; a small building, once partially a coffee chain for people stopping in. The windows are broken and the door is gone, grass overgrown in the front, and years of wear and tear all over. An abandoned car sits by a pump, tires missing and windshield shattered. Inside is a skeleton in the driver's seat, body curved over the steering wheel. The trunk is popped open revealing an empty suitcase. Poor bastard was probably trying to get the hell out of here before things got bad.

"I'm gonna take a look inside!" You shout, already walking through the doorway.

"There won't be much, we cleared it out when we first found this place!" Han shouts back, getting to work on one of the pumps outside.

There are a few aisles of convenience items inside and to the right, most of which are cleaned out or have been damaged. Glass crunches under your feet as you walk around the bare aisles, scanning as you go. There really isn't much; Han was right for once.

"Oh, but there's this," You mutter, picking up a faded purple box near the back. "I'm sure Chaeryeong will be happy I found these."

You tuck the box into your backpack, the zipper stuck.

"You're kidding, right?"

The backpack refuses to open, so you sit down and struggle some more. Your back is facing the front, the counter to pay directly next to you with the aisle on the other side tightly. After a few moments of fighting and coming close to defeat, it unzips.

"Thank you!" You whisper.

Standing and spinning around, you're met with a decaying body facing away from you. Immediately, you cover your mouth, crouching down and moving slowly toward the back to the station. It begins to turn, limping with each step. You've successfully moved around the side, inching closer to the middle until you can see the door, now directly in front of you. If the infected continues down where it assumes you were, you should be able to leave and get to the others before alerting it.

Of course, that's not at all what happens.

Making a beeline to the door, you're stopped by another infected coming from your right. You collide with it, falling on your hands into the broken glass. The cuts sting, the infected tripping over your crouched body with a crash, and the other limping over to you. Thankfully this one is slow, but the one who tripped over you is already getting up as you examine your bleeding hands. You could call out for help, but if there are more, you don't want them to get to Hyunjin.

You pull out a knife, standing up fully to take on the infected beings, focusing on the fast one. It comes at you, wailing and arms swinging. You're able to dodge, a quick jump left into the aisle and a swipe to its arm drawing blood. Grabbing another knife by the tip, you aim at the limping one, throwing it expertly into the skull with a squelch. Gross.

As you're distracted, the one you swiped pulls around the other side to your back, lunging forward. Landing on your stomach, you're not in a position to fight back, pinned to the ground by surprisingly strong arms. Another wail escapes its lips close to your ear.

This is it, you think. I'm dying in the middle of a gas station convenience store. No wonder Hyunjin and I were so drawn to each other.

The full body weight of the infected falls on top of you, stealing your breath away.

"How many times am I gonna have to save your ass?" Han grunts as he pulls the body off of you, grabbing your arm to help you up.

You take it back. "I was doing fine."

"Two seconds away from being breakfast is fine?" Han beams. "Then I'm doing amazing!"

"Next time, let the zombie eat my face so I don't have to listen to you, okay?" You get close to his face, personal space be damned.

"Yeah, maybe I will." His eyes narrow. "Then I don't have to listen to you either. Win-win situation."

"Guys?" Hyunjin appears in the doorway. "Han, back away. Y/n, what the fuck?"

You look at him as Han steps back, arms crossed. "What?"

"Why didn't you call for help?" He looks betrayed. "I was right there-"

"I was handling it!" You whine.

"You weren't handling shit-"

"Han, not so respectfully, shut the fuck up. Step out." Hyunjin enters the store, leaving the doorway open, Han reluctantly leaving you two alone. "Didn't want him to hear this, but he had a point. The minute they both came after you, you should have yelled."

"Everything was fine until I got pinned," You argue, not meeting his eye. "And at that point, it would've been too late... usually."

Hyunjin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm fast, it's why Chan keeps me around. I would have made it to you in time."

"Nuh-uh," You say, head snapping up to look at him. "Chan thinks of you as family, that's why he 'keeps you around'."

"We're not talking about me right now-"

"I think we are actually," you say, running your fingers gently down his arms. You take his hands in yours. "Do you really think that? You think he only values you for your skills?"

"Obviously," Hyunjin scoffs. "It's literally the apocalypse, there's no point in real relationships when you might die the next day."

You bite back a mean comment, taking a deep breath. "Is that what you think of us?"

"What? No! No, that's not-" He takes a hand back to run it through his hair. "I just mean he doesn't need me like that. I'm useful, but replaceable."

"Not to him," Your words soften. "Not to any of us, even Han."

Hyunjin laughs, head hanging down and your foreheads touch. All you do for a while is stand there with each other, urging your feelings to melt through your skin and seep into his, make him understand he's more than just a tool to be used.

"Hey, you guys done?" Han says, nerves leaking into his voice.

"What's wrong?" You let go of Hyunjin, walking outside.

"Those guys are back."

A couple of trucks pull in, one stopping directly in front of you. For a second you think he'll hit you, parking a few inches away from your feet. The same man from earlier steps out and closes the door, hard, leaning against it. He looks at the three of you standing together, taking extra time to take you in. Beside you, you can feel Hyunjin tense, and you grip your knife tighter.

"You three still here?" The man pulls out a crushed pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. "Any gas left? We're running low."

"Nope, just grabbed the last of it." Han lifts the red gas can. "There's another station about twenty minutes from here."

Another man emerges from the other side of the truck, rifle in hand. The one smoking comes closer and you finally move away from the truck, planning to walk away before he tries anything. There's another truck parked on the far side of the station and three more men with guns step out, blocking your path. You turn around, nearly running into the first man.

"Why go that far when we can take yours?" He blows a puff of smoke in your face and you barely hold back a cough, eyes stinging. "Hand it over."

You grab the can from Han before he can protest, sticking it out to the man. He goes to grab it, but you move away at the last second with a smirk. It dangles by your side.

"For what?" You tilt your head.

"This isn't up for debate, little lady," He scowls. "Now hand it over."

He makes another move to grab it, but you swing it behind you, angling your back toward Hyunjin who takes it from you. Growing irritated, the man grabs your wrist to discover it empty, roughly pulling you forward. A body comes between you and him, landing an attack on his arm and he lets you go.

"Get your hands off her," Han growls, pushing him back.

Beside you, Hyunjin stumbles forward. The gas can is no longer in his hand and you catch a glimpse of it in the hands of one of the other men, gun poking Hyunjin in the back. You feel the tip of another gun in your own and soon enough all are pointed at your group, fingers on the triggers. Han still has his arm up, taking in the threatening circle of people.

"I suggest you back up." The man drops his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with the toe of his boot.

There's nothing you can do except let the group walk away, gas can in hand, and return to the others. Chan won't be happy, but at least you'll be alive. You watch Han's fists clench by his side, no doubt resisting the urge to throw a punch or two. It doesn't take long for them to get back in their vehicles and drive off, leaving you defeated.

"You're kidding."

Chan runs a hand over his face, staying put on his chin with the other on his hip. He breathes slowly, walking to the window of his kitchen, and leans back on the counter. Although his body is facing you, his eyes are focused on something beyond you. The sunset peaks through the curtains behind him and you shift uncomfortably to cover the blinding light with his body.

On your left is Hyunjin, head hanging low, and Han stands on your right with his chin high in the air. If you look down, you can see his hands shaking.

"We had no choice." You speak first, holding Chan's gaze the best you can. Having experience in disappointing higher-ups in your QZ made it easier to be present in this conversation.

"You had a choice," He says. "Instead of going in the store Han specifically said was cleared out, you could have helped with collecting the gas and gotten out of there quicker."

A shiver runs down your back under his gaze. "It's kind of hard to help when we only have one can."

Chan exhales sharply, crossing his arms. You can tell he knows you have a point and doesn't want to admit it, opting to stay silent and let you continue.

"Besides, it wasn't completely cleared out," You say, digging through your bag to present what you found. "Not that it matters for you guys, but I'm sure Chaeryeong will be happy I found these. So if you need me, I'll be at her house."

You know you shouldn't walk out without being dismissed, but you can't handle the suffocating air of Chan's kitchen any longer. There's no protest as you leave, but can hear Han try to argue as the door shuts behind you. As much as you want to head straight to Chaeryeong's house, you take a detour to your own first. Seungmin should still be with Jeongin figuring out the best route to the hospital, so you should be in the clear to cry on your couch alone.

Dust particles shine in the light of the old house you now share with Seungmin, greeting you like an old friend. It makes your nose itch and your eyes dry, sniffling hard as you lean against the door. Saying you were overwhelmed would be an understatement. This was your first proper mission here and you fucked it up. Since coming here, all you've done is be a burden while Seungmin has actually been valuable to the group, mapping out routes to avoid squad patrols and leading them to better resources. And what have you done besides lay in bed with a broken leg? You're useless to them. Soon enough they'll realize and cast you out.

A sigh escapes your lips as you slide down the door, tossing your bag to the side. Will there ever be a day you don't overthink every action, every word you say? Probably not, but maybe with enough time you'll just stop caring, stop listening to that voice in the back of your head. Or maybe it will win. Only one way to find out; keep going.

"Rise and shine!" A jacket is tossed over your face, effectively waking you. "Get out of bed, we're leaving."

"Huh?" You groan, sitting up. Your bones crack and your neck is stiff from where you fell asleep on the couch. "Leaving? And what are you doing here?"

Han walks back in front of you, taking a seat on your coffee table. The wood creaks and for a second you imagine it snapping, sending the man in front of you onto his ass, making you snort.

"What?"

"Nothing." You wave off his look of annoyance. "Answer my questions first."

His eyes narrow. "Chan sent me over to get you. We're heading to the hospital today, all of us. He said you better not drag us down more than you already have."

Oh.

"Let's get a move on," He stands, a strange expression on his face after seeing yours drop. "Everyone's already in the truck. You'll have to sit in the back with me."

"Yeah, okay." You don't have it in you to argue.

Taking one last look around the house you've been living in for the past few months, you wonder what you would be doing if you had gone back to your QZ. You pick up the jacket Han threw; it's one of yours, a worn black denim with a patch to signify your rank on the breast pocket. It wasn't mandatory, but you liked people knowing where you stood when you walked around in casual clothes, even if it wasn't a high ranking. There was a sense of belonging when you saw others in uniform with their matching patches, always able to blend in with a crowd.

You rip the patch off.

"Done?" Han stands in the open doorway, having watched you make this silent choice.

All you do is nod, slipping the jacket on as you walk past him. It's early, the sun not quite rising yet; morning dew wets your boots as you jog to the truck. Chan is standing by the driver's side door, no doubt waiting on you and Han. Inside is Seungmin in the passenger's side, and Chaeryeong, Hyunjin, and Jeongin in the back, although you can barely see them through the tinted windows. With a nod to Chan, you throw your bag over and hop in the back. There's a little window behind where you settle yourself, opening it to poke Hyunjin in the back of the head.

"What-" He shifts in his seat, disgust leaving his face when he sees it's you. "I thought you were Han. Did you want to sit in here? We can kick Jeongin out-"

"No, you will not." Jeongin locks his door and you laugh.

"I'm fine here." The truck dips as Han hops over, sitting closer to the end. "Besides, if I get annoyed with him I can just throw him over."

Hyunjin makes eye contact with Han as he looks over at your words and your eyes follow. He's sitting with his gun over his lap, bag on the opposite side. It doesn't take long for Han to look away, shifting to face the road as Chan starts up the vehicle.

"Weird," You say, looking back at Hyunjin who rolls his eyes. "Sitting that way is gonna be uncomfortable now that we're moving."

"It's worth it if I'm talking to you," Hyunjin smiles. "Besides-"

"Y/n!" Felix bounds over the edge of the truck. "Looks like we'll be together this ride."

"Lix, you interrupted me," Hyunjin whines. "I was going to say, at least I won't be bored."

"We aren't boring," Jeongin chips in.

"Y/n is more entertaining." Hyunjin pouts.

You lean in, pressing a kiss onto his pouting face and soon enough he's smiling into you. When you break away, Hyunjin sighs and turns back around, the truck finally moving. Closing the small window, you get as comfortable as you can in the back, shifting your backpack behind you to use as a cushion. Having Felix join you let you relax a bit knowing he can keep Han distracted when he inevitably wants attention you won't give. If he wasn't such a little shit, you could actually be friends.

The roads Chan takes are bumpy and surrounded by trees, no sign of life around you, not that the infected would really fall under 'life'. For a while, things seem peaceful. You watch Felix's hair blow across his face as he leans back, eyes closed. Although you knew some would think your watching to be strange, you liked to be able to take in details of another person. The rise and fall of his chest and the way his lips are parted in a light sleep; the freckles dusting his face and the small scar running through his right eyebrow.

Looking at Han, you can see the way he fiddles with the strap of his bag laid next to him. He's too far to observe in great detail, but you see the way his eyes wander across the landscape, deep in his head. There's a moment you catch his breathing quicken and he sits up more, crossing his legs and placing a hand on each knee. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath through his nose and out of his mouth, repeating several times. You shouldn't be watching this.

"Hey, Han." You crawl over to him, sitting by his side. "What's going on in there?"

You point at his head and he looks at you strangely.

"What?" He moves away.

"You seem tense," You shrug. "How long do you think until we get there?"

Changing the subject appeared to be a better plan as Han returns your shrug. "I'd say we have about thirty more minutes until we run out of gas. Then we walk the rest of the way which'll take at least a few more hours than driving would have taken."

"Do you think they'll still be alive?" You ask quietly. "The people at the hospital?"

It's weird to think of all the experience the people around you have and your lack of it, knowing everything in theory but not in practice. Other than what was supposed to be your first mission outside of the QZ, you've never truly seen what the apocalypse has brought onto the world, not first-hand. The time before, when you were a child, you don't remember. You don't remember the harsh world your parents died to protect you from or the way they loved despite it all.

"Truthfully?" You nod. "...I don't know. I hope so. This means a lot to Chan, finding Hannah. He won't tell anyone, but we all know how much of a toll losing her took on him. We knew she wasn't dead, just.. gone, which is almost worse because who knows what she's been going through without us? And he blames himself, he always does for anything that happens to one of us."

There's nothing you can say to that, only nodding your head again. Everyone in this group cares so much, loves so much. How could you ever fit into that?

"Do you have siblings?" Han asks after a beat. "Back in your zone?"

Part of you thinks of Minho, who looked after who when no one else was there. "Not by blood."

"Who needs blood when you have soul?" Han looks at you, really looks at you. "You miss them."

"So what if I do-" You start, but the feeling of something missing sets in. You haven't even talked to Seungmin about missing Minho. "I... really fucking do. I miss him so much, and I don't know why I'm telling you of all people."

He laughs at that, and you do too. "Because you don't care what I'll say back to you?"

"Hmm, true," You laugh again. "Sometimes I think about the fact I'll never see him again and it's like, that's cruel. The universe gives you someone only to rip them away without a goodbye. A glimpse of their face and boom, gone. Never to be seen again. He probably thinks I'm dead. He probably thinks you guys killed me." You pause, looking away from Han, focusing on the passing trees. "He never even came looking for me."

"Hey," Han places a hand on yours gently. "You don't know that. Maybe he's just looking in the wrong place."

All you can do is nod again, tears brimming at the edges of your eyes. It's not much later the truck slows down and you let go of Han's hand, crawling back to where you were before to grab your bag. This must be the part you start walking.

Chan is the first to step out of the vehicle, taking in your surroundings and examining a map on the hood of the truck. Jeongin and Seungmin join his side, mumbling amongst themselves. Hyunjin helps you out of the back, picking you up so you don't have to jump down. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Han looking at you again, but pay him no attention.

"You and him make up?" Hyunjin forces a smile and gestures toward Han.

"No," You say, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "We had a civil conversation and that was that."

"Good," Hyunjin smiles more genuinely this time, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you to the front.

"We go straight for a while longer before hitting a main road. There's a highway we need to cross, so keep your weapons handy when we get to that part." Chan clears his throat. "Stay in pairs as we walk, I don't want anyone wandering off and getting lost."

A hand clasps yours; Hyunjin, of course. Chan takes the lead, Seungmin and Jeongin close behind, then Chaeryeong and Felix. Han trails slightly behind you, clearly not wanting to join you and Hyunjin, but not wanting to bother the others either. You make sure to look back every once in a while to ensure he's still there. As much as he and you may not get along, you know how much he means to the group, and that's enough to want to keep him safe.

By the time you make it to the highway, your legs are aching from the distance. Abandoned cars litter the large street, dirty and broken, relics of the past. Here, the wind is stronger and you hold on tightly to Hyunjin. He switches from holding your hand to hooking arms, feeling more secure. The highway groans loudly from the wind and you have to crouch down to stop yourself from falling over the edge.

"Maybe we should stay put until the wind dies down!" Chaeryeong calls out, brushing hair out of her face. "It's not safe to continue!"

"As long as we walk in the middle, we should be fine!" Han passes you and Hyunjin, eyeing you as he does.

"No, Chaer is right," Chan stops the group. "Just for a little while. Then we can continue down the middle."

Biting his lip, and no doubt an argument, Han sits with his back against the van ahead of you with Chaeryeong and Felix. Hyunjin has an arm around you again, holding you close to him. The door to the car you're using as a shield is slightly ajar, and you can see the front seats are empty.

"Hey," You turn to Hyunjin. "Wanna sit inside? I think I can pry this open."

"Sure, it'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable than concrete," He laughs.

Sticking a larger knife into the opening, you pull back with your full body weight. The door comes swinging open, knocking you back against another car.

"Ta-da," You rub your head where it hit the opposing door. "Get in."

As Hyunjin starts to climb over the passenger seat, a blur of bodies comes tumbling out of the car, screaming and limbs flailing. It doesn't take long to register the infected attacking Hyunjin, and you're quick to grab the knife that you used for the door.

"Get the fuck off of him!" You shout, hopping onto it's back, wrapping an arm around it's neck to keep it from biting.

Stabbing now is too risky, too much of a chance of hitting Hyunjin with the way the infected is grabbing him. You kick it's arms, releasing the man under you and allowing him to roll to the side. The infected stands with you still on it's back, turning in harsh circles, and it takes everything in you to hold on. Your knife goes flying. As it attempts to scratch and grab at you, it begins getting closer to the edge.

"Someone shoot this thing!" You're starting to panic, unable to let go long enough to grab another knife.

Your bodies hit the edge, and you finally let go only to be caged in by the infecteds arms. It goes in for a bite, and you wrap your hands around its neck, holding it away the best you can. This thing is strong, teeth getting closer by the second. You're leaning half over the edge and your back cracks, which actually feels quite nice, but you're sure you'd enjoy it more if you weren't about to be breakfast.

Quick thinking, c'mon, where are you?

Bringing your leg up in the tight space between your bodies, you plant your foot on its chest and push, successfully getting its teeth away from you and-

And you're rolling over the edge. One hand barely latches onto the concrete wall, the rest of your body dangling over and you watch the infected looking down at you. Weird, the way it snarls and yells, but doesn't leap over or scratch at you or anything. You can hear shouting on the other side and the body falls limp, slipping over. As it falls, you twist your body so your shoulders hit the wall and the body moves right past you. Your arm is twisted painfully in the process, but you figure that's better than falling to your death, so. Two hands grab your slipping fingers and you reach up blindly, another set of hands helping you over.

"Thanks for the help guys," You say, voice dripping in sarcasm as Chan and Hyunjin move past you.

No one answers, staring over where you were just hanging onto dear life. Chan's shoulders are tense, hand holding the edge until his knuckles turn white. He's shaking his head and when Hyunjin looks at him, you see his mouth is wide open.

"I've never seen this many of them in one place," Chan speaks, and you join them.

"Oh," You gasp. "Oh my god."

Hundreds, if not thousands, of infected cover the highway running underneath the one you stand on, all heading in the same direction. The groaning you heard earlier comes not from the giant bridge, but from the bodies below, wailing and crying.

"Good thing we don't have to go down there, yeah?" Felix chimes in as the rest gather with you.

"Yeah," Chan says, eyebrows furrowed. "We need to keep moving."

---

notes ▪︎ so... continuing on foot, that'll go well, right? ...right?????

─── taglist (18+) : @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom @manuosorioh @hanjisunglover @xxstrayland @puppyminnnie @hanjsquokka @kpopsstuffs @quokkabite @linosalwayslinos @reapers-lover @hyunjinslittlestar

#⋆₊‧⁺˖⋆˚.⋆ ͙͘͡★ LOOK UP TO THE STARS #skz #stray kids #han jisung x reader #han jisung x fem reader #han jisung #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #zombie au #zombie apocalypse au #skz zombie au #han jisung fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #skz series #han jisung series

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foldingfittedsheets · 2 months ago

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Hi! I'm sorry if this is weird, I thought you might be able to give me a piece of advice because of all the things you have gone through that you've written about.

I have a hard time knowing what the right facial expressions and tones of voice are appropriate most times, also it's hard for me to know how much to share or what to answer to certain questions with most people, I kind of manage but I have to face a perilous trial during this coming Christmas time, my partner's parents will be staying with us for the holidays and they kind of hate me already. One time his mother stopped talking to him for months (unless he agreed to break up with me) because she felt my smile and tone of voice were offensive towards her, since then I tried to be as plain as possible in their presence, I keep a straight face unless strictly required to smile, I answer short phrases to their questions, pretend I don't have opinions about anything nor interests they can critique. This has worked fine, they prefer it when it seems like I'm not even there, the problem is they'll be in my home, with all my trinkets and stuff that shows what I like and what I spend my time on, they also love to touch other's stuff without permission snd it bothers me greatly.

I wonder how you would approach this situation, and any advice if you have some, sorry for the long rant 😞

Well first off, not sure how I’d find myself in this scenario. Your partner is putting you in a shitty position by bringing people into your bubble who are actively hostile to you. I’d have pushed for them to stay in a hotel, because I’m incredibly territorial. I hate people in my space that I’m not on good terms with.

Try to move your favorite things off display if you think it’s going to distress you if they get handled. My move in this scenario is chilliness. I have no interest in fully modifying my behavior because someone chose to interpret me in bad faith. I’d simply shut down and offer no niceties.

If your partner is agreeing that you should modify your behavior to pacify his mom he’s being a shitty partner.

If he’s not saying that and you’re taking it upon yourself, knock it off. She won’t respect you more for it, and it’s gonna erode your self worth.

There are some people who aren’t going to like you but catering to a demand like “smile less” and “change your vibe” is well beyond a social nicety that anyone should expect.

As someone with a mom who is A Lot and who hated my ex I absolutely never would have expected my ex to handle that. I set down ground rules with my mom about her behavior and basically insisted that if my mom were rude we would nope out of the situation.

#ask ffs #disclaimer: all advice filtered through my lived experience #apologies if it’s not helpful

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forestdeath1 · 9 months ago

Text

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 4. How Sirius shows care towards people and animals.

Sirius has a trait that often seems like irresponsibility or excessive harshness.

Sirius really respects another person's free will and choice and even treats teenagers as adults with their own minds. It's a deeply rooted idea of respecting others as agents of free will.

That's why he has no pity for those who make mistakes, including himself. To him, any mistake is always a person's free choice. Sirius will never forgive Peter because, regardless of Peter's circumstances for betrayal, it ultimately was a CHOICE. He even refuses to forgive the Ministry (as if the Ministry cares, oh Sirius):

‘Don’t worry about Percy,’ said Sirius abruptly. ‘He’ll come round. It’s only a matter of time before Voldemort moves into the open; once he does, the whole Ministry’s going to be begging us to forgive them. And I’m not sure I’ll be accepting their apology,’ he added bitterly.

He tells this to Molly after she encounters a boggart. Contrary to popular belief, in this scene, he doesn't really comfort her after their argument. Lupin does most of the work. Sirius just adds this phrase. He's still angry at Molly for what she said, just acting more maturely and not escalating the conflict further. He's angry because he understands Molly said exactly what she meant. Molly is also angry at him, they generally love to get angry at each other because they don't really understand each other.

They were both speaking in carefully light, polite voices that told Harry quite plainly that neither had forgotten their disagreement of the night before.

He even considers Kreacher an agent of free will.

‘You’d be surprised what Kreacher can manage when he wants to, Hermione,’ said Sirius.

As they say - where there's a will, there's a way. When people say that Kreacher was lower in the hierarchy than Sirius (as any house-elf would be), Sirius himself did not see it that way, and it’s truly paradoxical. He argued with Kreacher, kicked him, engaged in verbal battles, though he could have just given direct orders. Kreacher's insults towards Sirius were similar in style to Walburga's (otherwise, where would Kreacher learn those insults?), and Sirius... Sirius, instead of direct orders, just yells back or kicks him. When Harry gives Kreacher a direct order to shut up, Kreacher obeys instantly. A house-elf must obey the direct orders of their master. But Sirius doesn't give direct orders. Because for him, Kreacher is also an agent of free will (and also some ‘‘member‘‘ of his beloved and hated family, as Sirius is much more attached to the Blacks than he would like to admit).

Because of his attitude towards equals, Sirius fights for Harry to get the information he needs. For Sirius, Harry is an adult, not a five-year-old child who needs to be looked after in the style of Molly. Molly deprives Harry of his agency, his choice, and his own opinion with her overprotection. We have to understand Molly; she really worries for all of them, as half her family is in the Order and can die. She doesn't want to lose Harry, so she tries to protect him in every way. Plus, they all have orders from Dumbledore. Isn't Molly right? Molly has her point, she works for the Order and thinks Sirius could harm with his too "independent" behaviour, and teach Harry this excessive independence. And what does independence from Dumbledore lead to? Molly knows well (and so does Sirius) – last time such "independence" from Dumbledore cost the Potters their lives. I don't want to judge Molly. She's a member of the newer incarnation of the Order of the Phoenix, and a good one at that. Sirius, however, is still mentally in the era of the Order's original incarnation (as is Lupin, though he is more conforming and softer), a time when the rules of engagement were harsher, with much more focus on the grim realities of war. The newer version of the Order operates with different tactics – emphasizing manipulation, cunning, and caution.

Molly and Sirius have different approaches. Molly is about caution. Sirius is about action.

Sirius treats Harry as a subject, not an object to be shielded from information.

Sirius knows where his area of responsibility is and what he can influence, and where he should not interfere:

‘Not just yet, Molly,’ said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. ‘You know, I’m surprised at you. I thought the first thing you’d do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort.’

‘I did!’ said Harry indignantly. ‘I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we’re not allowed in the Order, so –’

‘And they’re quite right,’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘You’re too young.’

‘Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?’ asked Sirius. ‘Harry’s been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He’s got the right to know what’s been happen—’

‘How come Harry gets his questions answered?’ said Fred angrily. ‘We’ve been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven’t told us a single stinking thing!’ said George.

‘It’s not my fault you haven’t been told what the Order’s doing,’ said Sirius calmly, ‘that’s your parents’ decision. Harry, on the other hand –’

He doesn't tell the twins anything because it's not his responsibility. But Harry – that's his responsibility. And Sirius believes it's up to him to decide what Harry is allowed to know and what not (considering Dumbledore's instructions "I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly").

‘He’s not your son,’ said Sirius quietly.

‘He’s as good as,’ said Mrs Weasley fiercely. ‘Who else has he got?’

‘He’s got me!’

In the situation with Molly, you see two opposing views clash. Molly, with the archetype of a guardian, wants to shelter everyone with her care. Sirius, with the archetype of a rebel, respects Harry's wishes and wants to open up new knowledge and opportunities for him to fight.

‘He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!’ said Mrs Weasley. ‘He’s only fifteen and –’

‘And he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,’ said Sirius, ‘and more than some.’

‘No one’s denying what he’s done!’ said Mrs Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. ‘But he’s still –’

‘He’s not a child!’ said Sirius impatiently.

Sirius probably stopped considering himself a child very early on. Maybe it came from his conservative family, where children were expected to grow up earlier, not walk around as "little children" until they were 18. They think about marriage, duty to the family, responsibility early on. Plus, wizards come of age earlier – at 17. So, for Sirius, 15 years old is not a child anymore.

That's why Sirius defends Harry's right "to know".

‘But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back’ (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name) ‘he has more right than most to –’

Sirius really encourages taking action. His way of caring isn't about coddling. It's about giving knowledge, opportunities, resources, and supporting in the right direction. For Sirius, to live is to act; he can't be without action, doesn't understand life without it:

‘Personally, I’d have welcomed a Dementor attack. A deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the monotony nicely. You think you’ve had it bad, at least you’ve been able to get out and about, stretch your legs, get into a few fights ... I’ve been stuck inside for a month.’

Sirius can't not act and he doesn't understand how you could do otherwise. He knows Harry is the same because Harry is like his dad, meaning James was the same – always acting.

And he encourages this in Harry. But he always teaches to act with thought, not just charging in. In the 4th book, Sirius was telling Harry not to stick his neck out, but in the 5th, it's the opposite. Sirius has his own logic, which he shows here:

‘So, you want me to say I’m not going to take part in the Defence group?’ he muttered finally.

‘Me? Certainly not!’ said Sirius, looking surprised. ‘I think it’s an excellent idea!’

‘You do?’ said Harry, his heart lifting.

‘Of course I do!’ said Sirius. ‘D’you think your father and I would’ve lain down and taken orders from an old hag like Umbridge?’

‘But – last term all you did was tell me to be careful and not take risks –’

‘Last year, all the evidence was that someone inside Hogwarts was trying to kill you, Harry!’ said Sirius impatiently. ‘This year, we know there’s someone outside Hogwarts who’d like to kill us all, so I think learning to defend yourselves properly is a very good idea!’

‘And if we do get expelled?’ Hermione asked, a quizzical look on her face.

‘Well, better expelled and able to defend yourselves than sitting safely in school without a clue,’ said Sirius.

That's Sirius through and through. A true Gryffindor, who won't just sit around when there's danger afoot. You might argue that he shouldn't have encouraged Harry in this way. But what else was he to do? Hand Harry over to Umbridge? Of course not. He trusts Harry, believes in his potential. He treats Harry as an equal, not as a child, and that's why Harry feels so connected to Sirius – at last, someone sees him as mature enough, respects him as a free person. Throughout the series, Harry has been shielded from the truth, kept in the dark, yet Sirius shows him a different kind of respect – he sees Harry as someone who can act, in whom he places his trust and belief. Is Sirius right? When it comes to Harry – absolutely. As for the war, the Order, and following Dumbledore's orders – Molly would definitely disapprove.

He even passes Molly's words on to Ron. In his sarcastic manner, but still:

… anyway ... first of all, Ron – I’ve sworn to pass on a message from your mother.’

‘Oh yeah?’ said Ron, sounding apprehensive.

‘She says on no account whatsoever are you to take part in an illegal secret Defence Against the Dark Arts group. She says you’ll be expelled for sure and your future will be ruined. She says there will be plenty of time to learn how to defend yourself later and that you are too young to be worrying about that right now. She also’ (Sirius’s eyes turned to the other two) ‘advises Harry and Hermione not to proceed with the group, though she accepts that she has no authority over either of them and simply begs them to remember that she has their best interests at heart. She would have written all this to you, but if the owl had been intercepted you’d all have been in real trouble, and she can’t say it for herself because she’s on duty tonight.’

Again – a striking difference between what Molly understands by care and what Sirius understands by it.

Sirius lets Harry feel that he's believed in, respected, that his actions are encouraged. Sometimes Sirius criticises them, because as much as he encourages action, he believes all actions should be reasoned. Act according to logic, not thoughtlessly.

For instance, Sirius sternly reprimands him in the 4th book when Harry, in his opinion, does something foolish. And notice his communication style. Sirius is often blunt in conversation, in his way of talking, he doesn't sugarcoat. And Harry's okay with that. Sirius isn't one for mushiness.

Harry – what do you think you are playing at, walking off into the Forest with Viktor Krum? I want you to swear, by return owl, that you are not going to go walking with anyone else at night. There is somebody highly dangerous at Hogwarts. It is clear to me that they wanted to stop Crouch seeing Dumbledore and you were probably feet away from them in the dark. You could have been killed.

Your name didn’t get into the Goblet of Fire by accident. If someone’s trying to attack you, they’re on their last chance. Stay close to Ron and Hermione, do not leave Gryffindor Tower after hours, and arm yourself for the third task. Practise Stunning and Disarming. A few hexes wouldn’t go amiss either. There’s nothing you can do about Crouch. Keep your head down and look after yourself. I’m waiting for your letter giving me your word you won’t stray out of bounds again.

That's what care means to Sirius. Not forbidding him from knowing information. But actively helping him so Harry is ready to stand up to challenges.

Or like this:

‘Now, listen ...’ he looked particularly hard at Harry – ‘I don’t want you lot sneaking out of school to see me, all right? Just send notes to me here. I still want to hear about anything odd. But you’re not to go leaving Hogwarts without permission, it would be an ideal opportunity for someone to attack you.’

‘No one’s tried to attack me so far, except a dragon and a couple of Grindylows,’ Harry said.

But Sirius scowled at him. ‘I don’t care ... I’ll breathe freely again when this Tournament’s over, and that’s not until June. And don’t forget, if you’re talking about me among yourselves, call me Snuffles, OK?’

At the same time, he provides Harry with emotional support. Just without the mushiness. There's a sort of rough tenderness about it, making these signs of attention and love seem even more important and pleasant.

‘What’re you doing here, Sirius?’ he said.

‘Fulfilling my duty as godfather,’ said Sirius, gnawing on the chicken bone in a very dog-like way. ‘Don’t worry about me, I’m pretending to be a loveable stray.’

The post owls appeared, bringing Harry a good-luck card from Sirius. It was only a piece of parchment, folded over and bearing a muddy paw print on its front, but Harry appreciated it all the same.

He also provides Harry with real resources that can help him:

‘I want you to take this,’ he said quietly, thrusting a badly wrapped package roughly the size of a paperback book into Harry’s hands.

‘What is it?’ Harry asked.

‘A way of letting me know if Snape’s giving you a hard time. No, don’t open it in here!’ said Sirius, with a wary look at Mrs Weasley, who was trying to persuade the twins to wear hand-knitted mittens. ‘I doubt Molly would approve – but I want you to use it if you need me, all right?’

‘Sirius’s knife,’ he said. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Christmas before last Sirius gave me a knife that’ll open any lock,’ said Harry. ‘So even if she’s bewitched the door so Alohomora won’t work, which I bet she has –’

Sirius isn't inclined to pity. He respects the choices of others. His care is expressed in this – he knows people's strengths and trusts them to do their job. He thinks Hagrid will be okay because Hagrid is tough. Why worry?

‘Listen, don’t go asking too many questions about Hagrid,’ said Sirius hastily, ‘it’ll just draw even more attention to the fact that he’s not back and I know Dumbledore doesn’t want that. Hagrid’s tough, he’ll be OK.’

And he respects the choice of the twins' father, though many find Sirius's words harsh:

‘We don’t care about the dumb Order!’ shouted Fred.

‘It’s our dad dying we’re talking about!’ yelled George.

‘Your father knew what he was getting into and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!’ said Sirius, equally angry. ‘This is how it is – this is why you’re not in the Order – you don’t understand – there are things worth dying for!’

But it's not cruelty or indifference, it's respect for their father's choice, as an agent of free will.

Sirius even treats animals this way. Look how he got on with the cat. And yet he understands that animals are defenceless and need support. He doesn't expect danger from them and often finds comfort in their company.

‘This cat isn’t mad,’ said Black hoarsely. He reached out a bony hand and stroked Crookshanks’s fluffy head. ‘He’s the most intelligent of his kind I’ve ever met. He recognised Peter for what he was straight away. And when he met me, he knew I was no dog. It was a while before he trusted me. Finally, I managed to communicate to him what I was after, and he’s been helping me ...’

Kreacher injured Buckbeak the Hippogriff yesterday, and, at the moment when you made your appearance in the fire, Sirius was upstairs tending to him.’

Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped on to Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absent-mindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.

Sirius, who had just entered the room carrying a bloodstained bag of what appeared to be dead rats. ‘I’ve just been feeding Buckbeak,’ he added, in reply to Harry’s enquiring look. ‘I keep him upstairs in my mother’s bedroom

Soon, however, he was moodier and surlier than before, talking less to everybody, even Harry, and spending increasing amounts of time shut up in his mother’s room with Buckbeak.

He became more and more prone to what Mrs Weasley called ‘fits of the sullens’, in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time.

Sirius befriended the cat, treated it as an intelligent being, and constantly cared for the hippogriff. Sirius is very closed off from people (after Azkaban, he only opens up to Harry and Remus), he builds a tough armour, but easily opens up to animals and easily cares for them in a nurturing manner – and they love him back.

In conclusion, Sirius respects the free choice of others. For him, pity towards another is demeaning. Sirius hates pity – neither for himself nor for others. To pity = to demean, to pity means to acknowledge the other as incapable and weak. And Sirius doesn't meddle in others' relationships, he well separates his zone of responsibility, and care for him is to give resources and information so the person can act. And he's good with animals, and to animals, he can show a different attitude – nurturing, because acknowledging animals as weaker doesn't demean them, because animals truly are weaker.

This character trait of Sirius isn't for moral judgement, just that's how he is, and it's important to understand that.

#sirius black #the marauders #sirius black meta #the marauders meta #hp meta #sirius and harry

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