#like how to order at a restaurant or introduce myself

[anbaisai]

finally, jamil real

[doecrossing]

just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life

[hausofwoo]

open wide | park seonghwa

pairing: park seonghwa x afab!reader

word count: 5.7K

summary: you start working at a restaurant and everything seems to be going well; you work hard, you made friends, and even when you mess up, your coworkers still have your back… except for the bartender, seonghwa.

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, restaurant!au, bartender! and dom!seonghwa, enemies to lovers trope, HATE FUCK, oral (f and m receiving), pussy slapping, dick slapping, choking, hair pulling, edging, fingering, creampie, alcohol consumption, sex under the influence of alcohol (but both consenting), unprotected piv (WRAP IT UP BE SAFE), cumplay, dacryphilia, seonghwa is an asshole and reader is strangely attracted to it, degrading, reader gives switch vibes, VERY descriptive smut scene [i have no shame], seonghwa is HUNG, use of pet names (princess, baby, good girl, little/dirty slut), woosan allegations LMAO, lmk if i missed anything! also feat. server/work bestie!ryujin, server!wooyoung and san, food runner!mingi, and restaurant manager!hongjoong.

author’s note: me n my friend were talking about seonghwa and the thought of him *ahem* slapping his dick on ur face .. and it sent us into a spiral. i had to make dreams come true. thank u to @hausofmingi and T for being my beta-readers and for giving amazing feedback and ideas :-) this one goes out to all the restaurant girlies!

seonghwa was pissing you the fuck off.

working at a restaurant is already hard enough, but to have an enemy that you work with? it’s unbearable.

you were new to the industry when you started at the restaurant, and of course you got treated like you were stupid for the first few months. you almost expected it, since you had friends who worked at restaurants and they warned you that people will walk all over you for being “green.” you learned as fast as you could, making mistakes here and there. but eventually you felt as if you proved everyone there wrong; that you are a good server and you are hard working, despite your mistakes. you built a rapport with your coworkers, and they granted you grace when you needed it. everyone, except for him.

the bartender. god that fucking bartender. your manager hongjoong introduced you on your first day, and ever since you’ve been butting heads.

“this is seonghwa, our bartender,” hongjoong says, pointing out the black-haired man setting up the bar. “he’s been here since we opened, but he’s been in the industry for even longer.”

“oh, wow,” you exclaim, watching him splay out the non-slip mats around the bar.

“yeah, wow,” hongjoong laughs. “this guy can pour exactly an ounce of liquor without even looking. and he’s fast. you’ll learn a lot from him.”

the corner of seonghwa’s mouth quirks up in almost a smug way. he’s good and he knows it. with his legendary status came his cockiness.

“well i gotta grab some paperwork for you to finish up,” hongjoong says as heads to the back. “i’ll be back out in a sec.”

you stand by the bar, basically twiddling your thumbs. “it’s nice to meet you, i’m–"

“look, princess,” seonghwa interrupts. “as much as i love introducing myself to yet another newbie, i have more important things to do right now.”

and that was just the beginning, and not just for your newfound nickname.

the best way to sum up how he continues to treat you is from this one specific experience. you rang up drinks for your table, and you meant to put a vodka soda instead of a tequila soda. you noticed it right away so you immediately cancelled that order and rung it up correctly. you promptly went to the bar to tell seonghwa.

“hey, ignore that first ticket for the tequila soda, i sent a new ticket,” you called out. but when seonghwa turned, he had the drink already in his hand, looking like he was about to set it on the drink pass.

“oh.”

he grabbed the new ticket with his other hand, glanced at it briefly, looked at you, and then slammed the ticket onto the ticket spindle. he turned around and dumped the drink in the sink and started making the new drink.

“hey i’m sorry, it was a mistake,” you defended.

“yeah yeah, it’s fine, princess,” he said with an eye roll. he placed the new drink on the pass. you inspect his face, wondering if it really was fine. he scoffs and pushes the drink forward more. “just take your drink and go, it’s way too fucking busy to be standing around talking.”

maybe it wasn’t a big deal. maybe he was just in the weeds and was taking it out on you. that’s the thing about restaurants, when you’re in the middle of service and everyone’s running around, you kinda end up saying shit you don’t mean. it was never anything personal. you knew that because at the end of service, you’d finish up closing with your coworkers and have a shift beer, laughing it off like it didn’t happen. because it didn’t matter in the end, it was just a restaurant.

but seonghwa never joined. even tonight, when you, the other servers, and even the manager were sat around the bar having your drinks, he just quietly broke down the bar.

“hey seonghwa,” hongjoong calls after him. “don’t worry about the bar, i’ll take care of the rest of it. you guys had a really hard night. have your shift beer and chill.”

“no no, i’ve got it. i’m just gonna finish up and get out of here.” you watch him as he lifts up the floor mats and starts mopping the sticky floor. you turn to your coworker, ryujin, who’s sipping at her PBR.

“i think seonghwa hates me,” you say, just low enough under your other coworkers chatting.

“what?” she laughs. “no no, i don’t think so. he’s just kind of an asshole.”

you glance over at him as he’s wiping down the back counters. you turn back to her.

“i don’t know, he’s just always been kinda short with me.” you look down at your drink and fiddle with the tab. “i feel like he doesn’t really like me. i don’t know what i did.”

“listen,” ryujin starts, placing a hand on your shoulder. “he’s short with everyone. shit, i’ve been here like 2 years and i still know nothing about him. don’t worry about it. he’s just here for a check like everyone else.”

you watch as seonghwa starts to walk back to the kitchen, lifting his sweatshirt off of his form, and a sliver of skin peeks at the small of his back just below his t-shirt. you can’t look away until he’s out of your line of sight, and ryujin starts giggling next to you.

“wait a minute, do you like him or something?” ryujin whispers.

“no no!” you say. “it’s just—i feel like it’s easy for me to talk to everyone here. with him, he just brushes me off. and he started that stupid nickname. ‘princess’. it feels condescending.”

“well i don’t know,” ryujin shrugs. “i don’t think he likes to mix business with pleasure anyway, in any form.”

you nod and look to see seonghwa back at the register, counting the cash and pulling out tips. he walks over and hands each server their share of drink tips, leaving you last. you look up at him, but he doesn’t even look at you. he just places the money on the bar, and quickly turns to go back to the kitchen.

“okay,” you sigh. “well i’m gonna get out of here, i gotta get some sleep. are we still on for sunday celebration?”

“um yeah dude. i’m gonna need it after we deal with the sunday service crowd.” ryujin grabs her bag and starts heading to the door with you.

“sunday celebration.” it’s kind of like a fucked-up weekly tradition your restaurant has. the weekend drives all of the staff mad and then after service sunday night, (since the restaurant is closed on mondays) pretty much everyone working grabs a shift drink and books it to the dive bar a couple streets over. is it healthy? absolutely not. but is it kinda weirdly cathartic? absolutely it is.

and you really really needed it after sundays service. you got stuck with a 15-top who had all sorts of allergies and dietary restrictions. like who the hell has a lettuce allergy? are they just making it up because they just don’t like lettuce? and why the hell are you trying to order a house salad when the main ingredient is literally lettuce? plus their drink orders were nuts. a tequila on the rocks? JUST tequila? and what’s worse is that the guy ordered like 4 of them. you just finished ringing in his 5th one.

you walk up to the bar to grab the drink (because damn seonghwa is fast) and look up to see him turning to you.

“hey, you gotta cut that guy off after that drink,” he says while shaking a cocktail in a shaker.

“yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” you laugh dryly.

“you shouldn’t have even rang this one,” he says, setting the shaker down. “you know there’s a 4 drink max, right? that’s like, a policy we have.”

“oh, i didn’t know that i guess.” you stab the ticket on the spindle.

“yeah i guess not,” he says with a sharpness in his voice, and starts pouring the drink in the cocktail glass. “just don’t do it again, princess.”

yeah, maybe you didn’t know that rule. but why does he have to talk to you like that? you start walking towards your 15-top, past the kitchen. you must’ve been really in your head about what seonghwa said because you completely missed someone yelling “corner.”

what happened felt like hours long, but it was probably only a few seconds. the food runner mingi was walking out of the kitchen with 3 plates of food. when you were passing by the kitchen entrance, it was too quick to move, and down fell all 3 plates. it was a mess.

“oh my god mingi, i’m so sorry!” you exclaim. you immediately grab a broom and attempt to sweep what you can.

“don’t apologize to me, apologize to seonghwa,” mingi says meekly, picking up the pieces of broken plate. “it was going to his 2-top at the bar.”

fuck. you don’t even want to look at him. you know he’s pissed. you finish cleaning the last bit of your mess while mingi goes back and asks for a refire on those dishes. as soon as you throw out the trash, you feel tears start to well up in your eyes. you can’t cry in the front of house, it’s unprofessional. but you can’t cry in the kitchen, unless you want the whole back of house to pester you with questions. the only solution was one place, every server’s safe haven: the walk in freezer.

you close the frosty door behind you, letting out a deep sigh that turns quickly into a billowing cloud. then, the waterworks. you couldn’t even help it, it all became too much. maybe it was out of frustration or stress, either way, you really needed this cry. tears stream down your face, turning cold on your cheeks from the freezing air.

it was mostly frustrating because the whole reason this happened was because of seonghwa. he snapped at you for not knowing some stupid rule, and it caused you to lose focus. it’s his fault.

just when you felt yourself calming down, the freezer door opens swiftly. it was him.

“you wanna tell me why my table’s food was refired?” seonghwa spits, anger in his eyes. “they’re gonna have to wait another 10 minutes and they’ve already been waiting for their food for 20.”

“seonghwa, please,” you huff, trying to hold it together. “can i just have one more second?”

“no! i could be totally out of a tip from a table because of you.”

“dude, it was a mistake!” you defend. you feel backed into a corner. literally, the walk-in was tiny and you were basically pressed up against the cold wall with seonghwa hovering over you.

“you keep making these stupid mistakes. i don’t know why they even hired you, you know fucking nothing about restaurants.”

you stood in shock. you didn’t know what to say. seonghwa had this fire behind his eyes that almost scared you. his chest was puffing up and down, breathing heavily from adrenaline. a bead of sweat falls down his temple, threatening to fall from his face. why did suddenly… he look so… attractive? you were so confused by how your body was reacting. instead of pure hatred, suddenly you felt a pang of lust. what the hell was happening to you?

“you owe me, princess,” seonghwa mumbles.

and in a blink of an eye, he withdraws from the walk-in and slams the door behind him, leaving you completely disoriented.

at the end of service, you were BEAT. you slump back into the bar seat, crack open your shift drink, and take a hefty gulp. ryujin jumps into the seat next to you, already drinking her usual PBR.

“dude, tonight SUCKED,” she groans.

“tell me about it,” you mutter, counting your cash tips. “at least they tipped well, but at what cost?”

“the cost of my fucking sanity, that’s what,” ryujin whines. “please tell me you’re still down for celebration. please please pleeeease?”

“oh i am so down,” you say. you look at your other coworkers. “san, woo? you coming?”

“you bet i am,” wooyoung chuckles, gathering up his stuff. “i’m heading there now. c’mon san.”

san stands and starts heading out the door with wooyoung but then turns back. “wait, seonghwa, are you finally gonna come to sunday celebration?”

seonghwa places down the wine glass he was polishing. “maybe. we’ll see.” he turns to hang up the glass on the rack and for a moment, just a moment, he makes eye contact with you. you look away immediately and decide to put your attention back on your beer. you chug what’s left of it and toss the can in the trash.

“ryujin, let’s go."

you and your fellow servers took the booth in the back of the bar, your usual spot. a couple of them were complaining about the tables they had, some were playing an intense game of darts, while you nursed your mixed drink as ryujin rants about her situationship.

wooyoung slips into the seat next to you, grabbing his beer on the table. “remind me to never play darts with san again. he’s way too competitive.”

you laugh, “you know, you say that, but you always end up playing with him every sunday.”

wooyoung chuckles as he shrugs. he then looks around the bar. “wait, didn’t seonghwa say he was coming?”

“he said he MIGHT come,” san says as he slides into the booth. you can feel yourself retreating as soon as his name was brought up. “but you know him. he never hangs out with anyone outside work.”

“he’s probably still scrubbing the bar,” the food runner mingi chimes in. “that dude is a clean freak.”

“nothing wrong with that at a restaurant!” san says.

“hey i’m gonna grab another drink,” you mumble, standing up. “i’ll be right back.”

you walk over and lean against the bar and wait patiently for the bartender to get to you. you look around, sort of people-watching the sunday crowd. it’s all industry people, you know it. you turn your head back to see the bartender facing you.

“what can i get you?”

“oh, i’ll just take a vodka cran,” you force a smile. he nods and turns to make your drink.

“a vodka cranberry?” you hear a chuckle next to you. “i thought your go-to would be different.”

you look over and see seonghwa leaning on the bar and looking over at you. he wasn’t wearing his work clothes like you’re used to seeing him in. he was wearing jeans and a black tank with a leather jacket. he looked different. he looked…. really good.

“oh, you made it,” you say, trying not to sound annoyed. you gather yourself a bit. “oh, don’t judge me for my drink choice, okay? as much as i love our free shift drinks, i don’t really drink beer outside of work.”

“ah, i see.” he nods, definitely uninterested, and looks at the bartender who had already set your drink down and was waiting for you to pay. you dig through your bag, struggling to find your wallet. seonghwa notices and sighs. “i’ll just get this one and i’ll get a jack and coke.”

“you didn’t have to do that,” you look up to him in confusion.

“it’s whatever, just take your drink,” he doesn’t even look at you as the bartender hands his drink over and grabs seonghwa’s card that he set on the bar.

“oh. well thank you.” you sip at your drink. “i’m going back to the booth.”

he grabs his jack and coke and takes a quick drink. “darts?”

“um, okay?” you stutter, watching him walk past you to the dart board in the corner, and then following him with a look on your face that could only be described as complete and utter confusion.

“san, woo, wanna play teams?” you call across to your coworkers. they perk up and immediately jump over to the dartboard.

“me and san versus you and seonghwa?” woo asks, rubbing his palms together with a chuckle. “let’s say loser buys drinks?”

“i’m not really good at this,” you say laughing. “but i’ll do my best.”

“oh, great,” seonghwa scoffs as he writes both of your initials in the chalkboard by the dartboard. “just show me what you got.” he grabs the darts and places them in your hand, touch lingering a little longer than needed.

“you know,” you say to seonghwa as you close out 18 on the chalkboard, then passing the darts to san. “i really wasn’t expecting you to come out tonight.”

“we’ve begging him for what seems like years, man,” san chimes in, attempting but eventually failing to hit bullseye. yet somehow team woosan is still beating you. he grabs the darts to hand to seonghwa.

“yeah, what changed?” wooyoung says as he leans against a chair.

“i wasn’t really expecting to come out either,” seonghwa admits. “i guess i wanted to see what sunday celebration was all about.” he closes out 17 and 19. why is he so good at everything?

“i mean it’s just all of us getting drunk to get over a shitty shift,” you watch as he tosses the darts to wooyoung for his turn. “so it’s really not much.”

“did you have a shitty shift?” he asks, turning to face you directly.

“w-well, yeah,” you mumble, uncomfortable by the attentiveness. woo quickly hands the darts to you and goes back to a conversation he’s having with san. you look down at the darts in your hands. “look, i know i made a mistake but i really didn’t know that rule about the drinks. and it got me in my head and then mingi came with your table’s food and—“

he rolls his eyes. “you just make a lot of rookie mistakes. you’ll learn.”

you completely abandon the game of darts at this point. “dude, you gotta stop talking to me like that.”

“like what?” he says with a smirk. does he think this is funny?

“like you think i’m stupid or something,” you say, slightly pushing his shoulder. “i’m not stupid. yeah, you’ve been in the industry way longer than me, but we all have to start somewhere.” you grab your bag and walk over to the booth, san and woo protesting behind you. you slouch next to ryujin with a sigh.

“what the hell just happened?” ryujin questions, looking back at seonghwa by the dartboard.

“seonghwa’s being a dick to me, once again.” you exhale deeply. “let’s get another drink.”

as the night went on, your coworkers start filing out one by one. san and wooyoung were one of the last to leave together (something going on there?) and you’re left in front of the bar, struggling to find an uber. your apartment is definitely walking distance, but not at this time of night. the real issue was getting a fucking ride. every uber was at least 20 minutes away. you looked back through the bar window and saw the bartender starting to close up. shit, it’s almost 1 am. you look back down to your phone and consider downloading lyft for maybe the 2nd time in your life.

“what are you still doing here?” you hear a voice behind you. you look back and it’s seonghwa, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

“i should be asking you the same thing,” you mutter. when will he leave you alone?

“can’t find an uber?” he questions, pointing down at your phone.

“yeah, its fine though,” you brush him off.

“you live close by right?” he asks, annoyance in his voice. “i’ll just drop you off.”

“no, really,” you huff. “i don’t need your help.”

“look princess,” he looks to you intently. “i’m not gonna let you wait outside a bar at this hour. i’m not that big of an asshole.”

you consider for a moment. he’s definitely right. it’s late, and staying outside a closed bar this late can lead to trouble.

“fine. but stop calling me princess.”

when he pulls up to your apartment building, you start to have an internal war with yourself. you can’t help but have this anger in the pit of your stomach that’s eating you up.

“you look deep in thought,” seonghwa says impatiently.

“yeah, uh,” you mumble. “i just.. i need to know, why do you hate me?”

seonghwa pulls the car in a spot and parks. “i don’t hate you, necessarily…” he starts.

“you just think you’re better than me?” you pry, irritated.

“i mean, i have been in the industry longer than you…” he smiles smugly.

“there you go again,” you throw your hands up, hatred scratching at your throat. “you are so belittling to me! you think you’re hot shit, huh?”

“do you think i am?” he smiles at the corner of his mouth, and lets out a dry chuckle.

“i think i can’t fucking stand you.”

he looks intently at your face, and you swear, he glances at your lips.

and that’s when he leans in and kisses you. it takes you by complete surprise, and you pull back. you look at each other with a newfound yet curious lust. for a beat, for just a moment, you both look at each other with the same understanding. you want to kiss him again. you grab his face and pull him back in. the kiss was all-consuming. you feel a wave of energy course through you, as if every neuron in you was lit up. it was almost dizzying. he holds the side of your face, grazing past your ear and the holding the nape of your neck. every touch felt like fire.

he slides his tongue through your lips and deepens the kiss, which makes you melt more into him. you feel his arm wrap around your waist and moves you closer. you felt a rush of heat run through you, but then seonghwa pulls back slightly.

“let’s go inside?” he asks, his voice low.

with no reply, you both get out and you take him up to your apartment and to your room, closing the door behind you. he stands close to you, pushing you up against the door and kissing you up your neck and jaw until his lips meet yours again. he slots his leg between yours and presses himself against your heat, grinding as he devours you.

you turn to push him against the wall and sank down to your knees.

“fuuuck,” he groans, smiling as he slips his shirt off. “i like this view.”

“shut up, asshole,” you snap as you unzip his jeans, pulling them down. you look up to see a bulge pressing through his black underwear. god, you can tell it’s fucking big. you graze your fingers over it, teasing him. he lets out a heavy sigh, and you feel him twitch under you.

“i need you to touch me now,” he says grabbing the back of your head.

“yeah? or what?” you tease, just barely holding the length of him.

“c’mon princess,” he says with a cocky smirk. that fucking nickname. he moves his underwear down to reveal his hard cock hanging heavy by your lips. your mouth opens as you stare up at his length. he’s really big. “oh baby, are you already cock-drunk before even touching it?”

you sat in shock at the sheer size of him. he grabs your chin and moves himself closer to your face.

“open,” he says, tapping his dick on your lips. you open up to take him in your mouth, with him groaning at the warm, wet feeling.

twirling your tongue around his length, you earn a pleased moan from seonghwa’s lips. you take as much of him as you can in your mouth, nearly gagging but pushing through. you can feel him twitching in the back of your throat, which makes you hum with satisfaction.

“yeah,” he hisses, pulling his length out a bit and slowly thrusting back into your mouth. “take my cock just like that, baby.”

he pushes into your throat and pulls out again, this time out completely. a string of saliva still connects between his dick and your lips. he grabs himself and slaps it on your face by your open mouth, your jaw going slack and your tongue out to taste him.

“ahh, such a good girl,” he smirks down at you, slapping his dick on your face again. he grabs a fistful of your hair and pushes your mouth back on his cock.

you grab the base and start sucking like your life depends on it, going from the base to the tip, where you swirl your tongue around him. you regain a little control back, stroking and twisting up his length and sucking at his tip, and you can taste the precum pooling into your mouth. you feel him thrusting into your throat, tugging at your hair and pushing you deeper onto him. you can’t help but let out a whimper at the feeling.

“fuuuck, you like that, you little slut?” he tugs you off his cock by your hair. “you like when i fuck your mouth? keep doing that for me.”

you lost all control in that moment. you can only do as you’re told. you open your mouth like a good girl, and suck. he pistons into you, hitting the back of your throat over and over. tears prick the corners of your eyes, but you don’t care. you only want to please him. you moan onto his cock, forcing yourself to not gag from his size. the vibrations in your throat only drive him more mad, and you can tell from his deep moans and the hardening of his cock. he’s definitely close.

the grip around your hair tightens while he continues to bob you up and down his cock. your eyes flutter shut and tears start to fall down your cheeks, and you hold his thighs, nails digging crescents into his skin. he continues to hiss and moan in praise, loving the way you’re sputtering around his cock and leaving spit running down your chin. you take all the power left in you to lap at the underside of his cock, causing him to groan loudly and pull you off of him.

“open wide for me, princess,” he says, stroking himself above you. you obey and lay your tongue flat for him, ready to take his load. he lets out a long moan, spurting all around and into your mouth. you lick up every drop remaining from his tip as he comes down from his high.

just as you regain your composure, he’s helping you take your shirt off and kissing your spit and cum covered mouth. he pushes you backwards until the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed. you fall back and let him slide your pants off, leaving you just in your bra and (fucking soaked) underwear. he falls to his knees as he goes down to kiss your inner thighs, inching closer and closer to your wet heat. when he goes to lick the wet spot in your underwear, licking a stripe up to your clit, you let out a small gasp.

“so sensitive,” he grins, lifting his head up and moving to take off your underwear. he grabs your thighs and pushes your legs back so your pussy is in full view for him.

“and so fucking wet for me…” he trails off before he dives down to devour you.

he laps at your wet hole, savoring the taste and the way it contracts around nothing. his tongue leads up to your clit, earning a sharp moan from you. liking the way you sound, he does the same pattern, making you whine with pleasure. he looks up to you, a moaning mess, and flicks at your bud teasingly, as if he’s mocking you. he hums in amusement.

“hold this,” he releases your leg for you to grab, keeping you spread open for him. he places his fingers on your clit, circling a bit before dipping down to your hole, just at the surface. you can’t help but clench. “so eager.”

he plunges his middle two fingers into you, your tightness gripping around him. he lowers his mouth back to your clit, swirling around as he begins finger fucking you. he’s eating you like he’s fucking starved. the stimulation had you gripping the sheets, whimpering.

he hums against your pussy, kissing and sucking at your clit. “mmm, fuck,” he smiles with a moan. “so good…”

you can’t help but grab the back of his head, gripping onto his hair while he works his fingers and mouth on you. he twirls his tongue around your clit all while curling his fingers in you, hitting that sweet spot.

“s-seonghwa,” you let out. “don’t stop, it feels so fucking good.”

out of defiance, he pulls off of you completely, your legs dropping down and making you ache from the loss of being filled. you can’t help but buck your hips up, desperate for him to touch you. he runs his hand back onto your pussy, spreading his fingers around your bud, avoiding touching it. and then, he slaps your wet cunt. you wince, partly from pain, but also from the stimulation. your bundle of nerves prickles and reddens the wet skin.

“mmm, dirty slut,” he laughs dryly, sadistically. “so desperate to cum. you want to cum for me?”

you nod, a little too impatiently.

“tell me.” he circles his fingers around your dripping hole again.

“fuck,” you let out, exasperated. “please, seonghwa. please let me cum.”

with a smirk, he drives his fingers back into you and latches onto your clit, working at a steady but meticulous pace. when your hips start grinding against his mouth, he holds you down, and continues working you. he swirls his tongue around your clit just right, and massages at your sweet spot. you feel your orgasm building in your stomach, like a cord about to snap. you feel heat rush through your entire body like a wave.

“i’m cumming,” you barely moan out, completely overtaken by pleasure. seonghwa relentlessly works you through it, moaning against you as you climax. he laps at your clit, trying to get every drop of your orgasm. he doesn’t stop until you have to grab his head and lift it.

he looks up at you with an intense lust in his eyes, and his mouth and chin soaked from your juices.

“you drive me fucking crazy,” you sigh as you watch him stand up and lean over you. he pushes you back to the head of the bed, on his knees and slotting between your thighs.

eating you out must have really turned him on, because his cock is hanging heavy between you, red and leaking with precum. he guides his dick up and down your sensitive cunt, gathering your wetness up to stimulate your clit. he groans looking down at the sight.

he eases his way into you, gripping your thighs to keep from snapping his hips into you. your mouth goes slack at the sensation, and you try to stifle back a moan. he inches his way into you, thrusting slowly until he bottoms out.

“fuck, princess,” he sighs, and he feels you clench around his length.

he leans forward to hover over you, slowly thrusting into your heat. he grabs the nape of your neck and kisses you deeply, letting you moan in his mouth. each thrust he pounds into you makes you melt into each other more, desperate to feel every inch of one another. the rolls of his hips hitting deep caverns of your cunt makes you dizzy from stimulation. the squelching sound of your wet pussy makes him pull away, now grabbing at your throat hard enough to where it hurts a little, but hurts so good.

“tell me you’re my little slut,” he spits at you, thrusting deeper inside of you.

“i-i’m your little slut,” you say between moans, completely lost in his trance. he has all the power over you.

he releases your neck and lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, making him reach a completely new angle inside of you. he pistons into you with determination, and reaches down to toy with your clit. you begin to see stars.

“you’re so fucking tight,” he hisses, relishing the squeezing of your core.

his hips snap into a faster pace, all while mercilessly thumbing at your clit. the stimulation becomes all too much for you, and you feel yourself reaching another high.

“oh my god don’t stop, please seonghwa don’t stop,” you moan, unintentionally clenching around his length.

“yeah baby, cum on my cock,” he smiles down at you. “just like that.”

you can’t even think, all you can grasp is how good this man feels on top of you, how good he feels in you, how full you feel. your breath hitches as a wave of pleasure courses through your body, sending you into a blissed out state. your moans are matched by seonghwa, him fucking your contracting cunt, as if it’s begging to milk him dry. he continues to thrust into your overstimulated core until he releases his hot ropes of cum into you, completely filling you up.

he finally slows down his movement, both your breathing heavy and irregular. he pulls out of you with a hiss, watching your pulsing core as his release slowly spills out of you.

“jesus christ,” he groans at the sight. as if he couldn’t resist, he brings his head down and licks up your core, swallowing the liquid. once every drop is savored, he lifts up to level with you. he then places a kiss on your lips, suddenly soft, and very unexpected.

without a word, he grabs you by the waist and holds you close, allowing you to rest your head on his chest. he softly brushes his fingers through your hair.

and just like that, you both drift off to sleep with only one thing on your mind. what just happened, and what the hell is going to happen next?

a/n: this is my first real fic on the internet yall!! im so new to this but i had so much fun. i hope u did too! stay tuned for part 2, but for now please leave feedback ♥ edit: part two is here :-)

[celestialprincesse]

going home to best friend simon after a failed blind date (where the guy ridiculed you for what you were wearing, or made you feel stupid or something) and he makes you feel better by finally kissing you the way he’s wanted to for so many years 🥹

🌃🛋️🐆🎱

You hadn't been on a date in far too long. Two months, actually, nearly three. In all honestly, you'd grown sick of spending countless hours scrolling through dating apps, only to be rewarded with unwarranted dick pics and texts at stupid hours of the morning asking 'u up?'. Having had enough of small talk, and being treated like a sentient blow up doll, when your friend had offered to set up a blind date after your whining over a cheap bottle of red, you'd eagerly agreed. Surely, you'd thought, she'd vet the potential date, and you trusted her taste - which was your first mistake.

The second would be actually expressing yourself when going to meet a man you've never been introduced to before. The way he stares down at your shoes with disdain as you walk into the restaurant, or scowls when you order a cocktail is agonisingly obvious, and has you on edge the whole night. Unable to help the way you sigh in relief as you split the bill and get ready to leave, you vow to never do this to yourself again - and then proceed to cry in the cab all the way home.

Simon, conveniently, is standing in the kitchen when you get home, kicking off your favourite heels with a huff, and proceeding to further blubber when they smack against the cabinet and the heel comes loose.

"Bad date?" Your roommate questions, shaking you from the spiral of self pity you're rapidly descending.

"Why do I do this to myself," You huff, perhaps a little dramatically as you throw your purse on the counter, before sitting up on the marble surface to better face Simon - and ease your aching feet. "Like - genuinely - why do I do this to myself? Men are assholes."

Simon only provides you with an bemused hum as he rifles through the kitchen cabinets and fridge. "Grilled cheese?"

"Mhm. M' starving." You scoff, reminded suddenly of the incredulity you'd felt having paid for half of the bill - when you'd only had a salad (ordered for you no less), whilst your 'date' had gorged himself on a rump steak and fries right before your face. Asshole.

Watching Simon's back, straining against his t-shirt as he dutifully prepares you something to eat that doesn't comprise of soggy lettuce and split sauce, you can't help but to sigh, lost in thoughts of why all men aren't like him, and how if he wasn't your roommate, and if you weren't drunk and extremely fragile emotionally, you'd absolutely jump his bones given half the chance.

So distracted, in fact, that you fail to notice the plate of sizzling melty, cheesy goodness placed beside you on the counter, and the crooked smile Simon offers as he stands between your legs, resting his hands either side of you.

"They don't deserve you." He offers, perhaps - no, definitely - out of pity, tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear, knuckles brushing against your cheekbone in one of the softest gestures you've felt in a long time. "Nobody deserves you."

"You do." You can't help the words that spill from your lips, worse still, your eyes darting to his own mouth, breath catching when his tongue darts out to wet them on a subconscious instinct, taunting you.

Stupid, stupid, stupid - is probably what your brain would scream at you when your lips crashed against Simon's - if you gave a shit. Which you don't.

And you're so glad you don't, because the way he kisses you back is practically sinful, all encompassing as he nips at your bottom lip and pulls you closer by the hips with such startling ease that you have to pull back. But of course, by some cruel twist of fate, or maybe just some terribly bad luck, when you go back to kiss him a second time, he stops you, a frown pulling at his dirty blond brows.

"Not now." He whispers, voice hoarse and eyes burning right through your very skull. "Not when you're feeling like this. Not because I don't want to - because, fuck, I do - but not now. I want you when you're ready - and not drunk, preferably. Eat your grilled cheese and we'll get you to bed."

🌃🛋️🐆🎱

[trustywukkiii]

JOLLIBEE DATE JOLLIEBEE DATE

JOLLIBEE DATE | LAIOS TOUDEN (sfw)

synopsis — curious on how to spend your lunch together, laios recommended a special restaurant you haven’t been to in a while. excitedly and proudly, you decided to show him the ropes of a place that showed off your filipino roots. (laios x gn!filipino!reader)

content warnings — public displays of affection

word count — 2.2k words

author’s note — this is kind of self-indulgent since i’m filipino myself! i also tend to enjoy introducing jollibee with my friends who haven’t tried them! if you’re filipino, i hope this somewhat resonates with you! and if not, i hope it inspires to check the restaurant out sometime! hope you enjoy reading!

Laios has always been open-minded when it came to food. Whether it be from another culture, or a completely raw parasite from the bowels of a squid. Nevertheless, his attitude has always endeared you.. and never failed to surprise you every time.

“What was that place called again?” Laios innocently asked, his mind wandering. You two have been brainstorming a place to eat out for lunch. You weren’t sure what to suggest, so your lovely boyfriend offered. “You know, the one you share pictures of when you’re eating with your family? I’ve heard good things about their fried chicken! I’d like to try, if that’s okay with you.”

Damn right it was. Hell, you were excited. Nothing made you prouder to be Pinoy than seeing others try out such a staple in Filipino fast food. Especially Laios of all people! Something tells you deep in your gut that he’d love it.

Thankfully, there was your local Jollibee just a few minutes away from home. It had those big posters of families eating with big smiles on every wall, you could hear a mixture of Filipino and English amongst the customers and staff, and most especially, you could smell that tasty nostalgic smell from the kitchen at the back of the cashier.

You hoped Laios didn’t notice, but you were carefully watching his every reaction upon entering the place. And as per usual, Laios never disappoints.

“Woah! Is that—?!” His eyes brightened upon falling onto the big red and yellow jolly mascot that entertained the kids. “Judging based off of the wings, it’s an insect. And it also has stripes on its hind. Is it a bee?”

“Correct, big guy.” You gleamed at his enthusiasm. “Hence, why he’s called ‘Jolli-bee.”

“That makes sense!” He smiled as he held his chin.

To be honest to yourself, Laios had a fair resemblance to the big bee chef. Both have that cute cheeky open-mouthed grin, the soft round face, and this warm feeling of inexplicable hunger you get when looking at them. Laios has always been a great cook and you’ve loved every meal he served, and Jollibee just reminds you of that nostalgic enjoyment you got out of eating such savory fast foods.

“What would you recommend?” He looked at you as you both stood in the waiting line.

You pointed towards the bright and long menu hanging from the ceiling. “You sure you don’t want to check out the menu first?” Admittedly, you’d love to pick for him. But you wanted to give Laios a chance at that freedom to try out whatever he wants. “You’re the one trying the food out after all.”

“But I trust you!” Laios squeezed your hand as you two slowly approached the cashier. “And you know the food here best— Surprise me. Please? I’ll pay for the food.”

Oh, how could you ever say no to such a thoughtful man. You squeezed his hand back and grinned excitedly. “Nuh uh. It’s my treat! Save us a seat while I order our food, okay?”

You know the man best. You could see it in his calculating eyes as he’s thinking on how to repay you anyway. Perhaps he’ll buy you more of those cute figures of that favorite show you like. He always loved supporting your interests such as you do his. “Alright. I’ll wave you over.”

The two of you eventually settled by a table at a comfy corner. While waiting for the food, Laios would glance around at the other customers. He’d take a peak at what they were eating. There were a variety of burgers, buckets of chicken, and a wide array of drinks.

“You know,” Laios whispered your name. “The color palette of the restaurant reminds me a lot of McDonalds. So much red and yellow, it kinda gives you that hungry effect.”

“Huh, I kinda noticed that as well.” He’s such a nerd for details.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

“Ah, food’s ready,” you indicated from the small machine on the table.

“I’ll pick up the food!” Laios stood up almost immediately with the biggest smile on his face. He left no room for refusals. “Here, lend me the receipt and I’ll be right back!”

As he skipped away from your table, you could catch him bubbling with giggles, eyes closed with excitement. You watched as he proudly displayed the receipt to the staff, retrieved the delicious bagged goods, and sauntered right back to you like a jolly pup who fetched a bone for you. “So, what do we have here?”

“Mm! First, I want you to try the fries. They’re not too salty and they’re the right amount of munchy!” You dug through the bag and pulled out the little cup of fries. You took a fry out and held it out to his mouth.

If it were anybody else you were eating with, they’d probably get taken aback from your forwardness. But this is Laios we’re talking about. He’ll always be excited to support you whenever something interests you. He needn’t say a word as he took a bite of the fry in your hand. He cherished the taste in his mouth with slow chews. He even tilted his head as he tried assessing the right words in his head. Then, his golden eyes beamed. “It’s good!”

The anxiety that once swelled in your heart immediately faded upon this. Oh, you couldn’t love him any less. You dug through the paper bag again. “If you want to add ketchup, here’s some packets for you.”

“Thanks!” He gently took them from your hand. He reached for more fries as well, eating them one at a time in such a polite manner.

“Woah, woah, hold on!” You laughed. “Save some room for the main course!”

“Ah, right! Sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck as he blushed. “The fries just taste so good already!”

“I know right?” Finally, you pulled out the wrapped burger and placed it in front of Laios. “Here! This is a very iconic menu item of Jollibee’s— a yumburger with cheese! It’s very important that you specify at the register for it to be ‘with cheese’! C’mon, try it out!”

Laios wasted no time. He began unwrapping the burger as you began unwrapping yours as well. You waited until he took the first bite before you could take a bite on your own. You watched him take a big bite, rest onto the back of his chair as he chewed energetically. “Mmm!” He swallowed. “Woah, it’s just like a cheeseburger but without lettuce or tomatoes! The beef is juicy and the cheese is soothing too! The burger is incredibly simple, but it has a delicious sauce that enhances the savoriness overall!”

“Hehe, I’m glad you think so!” You expressed it with a smile. As Laios continued eating, you pulled off the disc covering the bucket of chicken, and you two were engulfed in a strong aroma.

“Ooh! Is that the chicken?” Laios asked. “May I have one?”

“Of course, here. Try it with gravy! It’s super good!” You handed him a drumstick and a little container of gravy.

You could practically see Laios drooling as he poured the sauce carefully onto the piece and expertly chomped down. He hummed with delight, glancing at the ceiling as he did. “I like it! The gravy perfectly complements the juiciness of the chicken! It’s not too oily either! And the skin is sooo crunchy! C’mon! You should dig in too!”

Laios waited for you to start eating as well. He surely didn’t want to spend the afternoon chowing down on his own. Seeing you indulge yourself in food made his heart (and stomach) full.

The two of you would continue eating. It was peaceful just to eat in each other’s company for Laios thought it was more than enough just to have you beside him, eating lunch together without a single worry in the world.

“Oh! I almost forgot about our drinks!” You jolted mid-bite. While you tried digging into the bag once again, Laios casually wiped crumbs off the corner of your lips with his tender thumb. God, the small things he does for you. It could practically make your heart explode.

“Here, these are what you call Coconut Dream Freeze’s!” you said, handing him his little plastic bottle with a straw you already placed for him. “They’re kindaa new? They were released just this summer. I really like them.”

“I see..” Laios took it into his hands. He inspected the white chilly substance with a squint. Then, he sucked onto the straw slowly, sparks slowly glimmering in his eyes. “Huh, it’s sweet, but not in an overbearing way…! It kinda reminds me of taro milk tea.”

“Really? Huh, never thought of it that way.”

“Still, it’s pretty tasty! Perfect for a warm day.” He chuckled before taking another sip of the drink.

It always made your heart burst at the seams whenever he analyzed food that way. Besides his passion for monsters, his love for food sort of reminded you of yourself. You had your fair share of interests too. Rarely you ever get to meet a guy who purely enjoyed his own hobbies and interests too, let alone never afraid to show it. But Laios just gets you.

The rest of lunch was spent eating to your heart’s content. Laios got a brain freeze for a moment, and you suggested putting his thumb on the roof of his mouth. The poor man winced until it went away, and he whimpered a little ‘thank you’ once he finally calmed down. You’ll definitely buy a cup of water from the cashier before you leave maybe.

Once Laios got back to chewing on his food, you’d notice his gaze fixed on the mascot entertaining a children’s birthday party. As much as you knew your boyfriend, you couldn’t quite place exactly what he was thinking most of the time. Laios would have a hard time reading you too sometimes, so exchanging questions has always been a common practice in your relationship. It made things easier that way, and lessened the risk of misunderstanding.

“What’s wrong, Laios?” You placed your hand atop his bigger and surprisingly calloused hand. “You’ve been eyeing the mascot for a while now.”

“Hm?” Upon seeing your concerned expression, he quickly snapped back. “Oh, it’s nothing serious, promise!” He assured you with a gentle smile. “I was just wondering if we could get a picture with him? I want to remember this day. But.. it might come across as weird if we ask in the middle of their party.”

“Oh, Laios.” He’s always such a sweetie. “How about we come up to them once we pack up— together. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Of course. C’mon, we should hurry before he leaves!”

Laios was quick to begin packing up your leftovers with you. He insisted on holding the bag while you held your drinks.

You two quietly sauntered towards the Jollibee mascot. Once you finally caught his attention, asking for a picture went without a hitch. Thankfully, a kind stranger offered to take the picture of you three on your phone. You stood by Jollibee’s left, and Laios took the right. Everyone gave big grins, and the picture was taken almost instantly.

You and Laios thanked both the stranger and the mascot before leaving the restaurant. While walking, you wanted to check the photo. You hoped you didn’t look like trash at the time, but Laios consistently reassured you that you looked amazing as ever.

Once you’ve opened your gallery, you clicked onto the photo and it made your insides warm. Laios looked as happy as ever. You could tell that this surely was a day for him to reminisce from now on.

However, your eyes were probably playing tricks on you. You squinted and leaned close to your phone. Laios was smiling the same exact way as the Jollibee mascot. Both with kiddy grins and soft round cheeks that only accentuated his sweet face.

Laios would make a great Jollibee costume for Halloween, you thought. You didn’t want to bring it up to the man just yet. He might get the wrong idea, however, it only made the man that much cuter.

After a few minutes of walking, you two have just arrived home at your shared apartment and placed your leftovers on the coffee table. Not long after you two sunk into the couch, your head resting on the tall man’s shoulder as he had his arm around your waist.

He softly whispered your name.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for the lunch,” Laios said, a sheepish smile on his face as he tried meeting your gaze. His body tensed as he desperately tried not to mess up his words. “I just wanted to get to understand you a bit more. I hope it wasn’t too weird to do it this way.”

“Are you kidding?” You leaned even closer. You couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m super happy you got to try the place out. I don’t get to go there often anymore, so… it was nice coming back there and sharing it with you.”

Laios immediately softened at this. He cupped your face and planted a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Guess that means we should come back there again. Or.. if we’re feeling too lazy, we can always order online.”

“Hm,” you giggled. You nest right into his chest where you can feel his warm heartbeat. “Sounds good to me… by the way, would you ever consider cosplaying as Jollibee?”

[w2soneshots]

I’ve missed you -W2S

words: 0.9k+

warnings: none.

summary: Harry comes to pick you up from the airport after a week with your family in Norway. Then he brings you to dinner with his friends to meet them for the first time.

notes: this fic was based off of this request!🙂 I hope you enjoy my lovelies💗🫶🏼

I met Harry four months ago. We immediately hit it off and have been together ever since. We're still in the early stages of our relationship, so I'm yet to meet his friends. Last week I left to go and see my family in Norway, which is where I've lived my entire life until last year when I moved to London. Me and Harry have spent most of our time together these past few months so it was really weird not seeing him for a week. Though we face-timed every night and I was constantly texting and sending pictures to him.

Today I'm flying home. My dad dropped me off at the airport and with one final hug we said goodbye. I checked in, went through security and was soon sat on the plane waiting to take off. I made sure to text Harry that I'd be landing in around two hours, since he insisted on picking me up. I listen to music and read for the entire time, so before I knew it we were landing.

I walked out of the huge glass doors and stopped as I looked around. When my eyes caught Harry's my heart rate began to speed up. A smile spread across my face and he quickly made his way towards me. "Hey!" He pulled me into a warm embrace. I wrapped my arms around his torso. "Hi." As we pulled away he smiled at me, then pulled a white bouquet of flowers from behind his back. "Oh my god Harry, they're beautiful!" I beamed. "I've missed you." He placed them in my hands. "I've missed you too, and thank you." I pushed myself onto my tip toes to peck his lips.

Once we got in the uber Harry had booked (since he absolutely hates driving, especially in London) we headed back to his apartment. When we got inside I took a shower to wash the plane smell off of me. Then I got ready because tonight I'm going to dinner with Harry, Ethan, Faith, Simon, Talia, Josh, Freya, JJ and Tobi. Harry has already given me the rundown on their names, what they look like and who's with who. I'm really excited to meet them and take the next big step in mine and Harry's relationship.

After making myself look presentable with, makeup and a nice outfit I left the bathroom. Harry sat on the bed and immediately looked up at me. "How do I look?" I asked jokingly with a twirl. He stood up "you look incredible." He complimented. "Why thank you." I smiled.

My leg shook slightly and I picked at my nails as we pulled up to the restaurant. Harry noticed this so placed his hand on my knee. "Everything's gonna be fine they'll love you." He soothed. I nodded then took a deep breath, intertwining my hand with his.

When we got inside we were quickly taken to our table where almost all of Harry friends sat. I politely smiled and immediately the girls stood up to greet me. "I'm Faith. It's so nice to finally meet you!" She pulled me into a quick hug. I introduced myself to the rest of the girls then looked back over to Harry who was already fondly observing at me. Unbeknownst to the both of us Ethan and Josh were nudging each other and whispering about how 'in love' Harry looked.

Once we sat down (me between Harry and Talia) we ordered some drinks. "So y/n how did you n bog meet?" Tobi asked. Harry had already forwarded me about his "stupid nickname" as he'd put it. "Um, well we bumped into each other and he knocked my bag out of my hand. Then we knocked heads as we both bent down to get it." I laughed lightly as I remembered the awkward interaction. "That sounds like it came straight out of a movie." Freya added.

Harry's hand sat comfortably on the top of my thigh as we chatted. I was soon fully comfortable around everyone and was having a great chat with Faith about her and Ethan's daughter, Olive. When our food arrived, all of the girls (including me) told the boys to "wait!" while we took a picture. The boys all groaned and then burst out laughing at the synchronised annoyance.

While we waited for dessert everyone was having their own little conversations. "So what's toffee pudding in Norwegian?" He asked. I giggled "it's just toffee pudding." "Oh. Well then what's," he took his time to think "thank you?" "Takk skal du ha." I replied. "Takk skal du ha." He repeated. I nodded "ye pretty much." I lifted myself from my seat "I'm just gonna go to the toilet, I'll be two seconds." Harry smiled "ok see you in a minute."

Harry's pov:

I watched as y/n walked away then turned back to the table to see the boys giggling. "What?" I asked, with my brows furrowed. "Harry you're so whipped." Simon stated. My face softened "well I really like her so... I don't mind." "I'm really happy for you bog, she seems really lovely." JJ said sincerely. "Ye it's nice to see you finally with someone." Ethan added. "It's not been that long has it?!" I asked, referring to Ethan's "finally". He chuckled "It's been like four years mate."

Your pov:

I returned to the table a few minutes later and sat back down next to Harry. "Did I miss anything important?" I asked. "Not really, the boys were just reminding me how long it's been since I've been with someone." I raised my brows "oh, why?" "Because they're glad I've finally found someone amazing as you." He whispered into my ear. A pink blush spread across my cheeks. Harry chuckled then placed his hand back onto my thigh.

[hungryforpowernotfood]

Making a Deal (Part 2)

Summary: Your date, gentlemen and distinguished folks

Warning(s): House being rude to waiting restaurant staff, being misgendered/mistaken as a woman (being called ma'am), self doubt, and anxiety

Pairing(s): Greg House x ftm reader

You stood on the sidewalk waiting for House to drive up. He had insisted on picking you up and treating it like an actual date. He was even on time when you recognized his car approaching you.

You gave him a small wave and watched as he pulled up along the sidewalk, and stopped the car a few feet ahead of where you were. 

You frowned as you started walking towards the car. He got out and started limping around to the other side.

“What’d you do that for?”

“Because if I pulled up beside you, you would get in the car myself. And if memory serves, that’s not exactly how dates go.” He responds, opening up the passenger door for you.

“Right, but isn’t that for women?”

“Ever heard of equality, l/n? Get in the car.”

You huffed, and got in—him practically slamming the door shut after you. He slammed his door shut as well after he got in, and you wondered if he knew he didn’t need to slam it for it to properly close, but decided against bringing it up.   

Aside from the radio playing, the majority of the car ride was silent between the two of you—House made a few comments about the restaurant he was taking you to, and made a joke about how he didn’t know what food you liked. He occasionally made comments about what was playing, but he never changed the station. 

“Don’t get out yet.” He ordered after he had parked the car. He got out himself, then limped to your side, and opened your door for you.

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” House made a point of saying the words, but he loosely linked his arm to yours as you made your way toward the restaurant. He gave the greeter his name for the reservation, and the two of you were led to your table.

The restaurant was admittedly nicer than you thought it would be, however, the conversation was as forced as you predicted it would be, despite the few compliments he made. 

It wasn’t very long before the waitress introduced herself, and offered to get your drinks. House ordered your drink for you—insisting you try something and trust him—and by the time the waitress got back with your drinks, she took your orders. 

House decided to go first, and you were about to make a biting comment about how he could’ve just picked something for you when you realized something: you had never presented as male before in public. Not like this, at least. You hadn’t been able to get any interviews yet, and when you went to the store, you were always able to go to the self-checkout. 

“And for you sir?” The waitress turned to you, and you barely registered that she was talking to you. 

You cleared your throat, attempting to deepen your voice.

“I’ll take the—” You cut yourself off by the waitress’s expression.

“I–I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—I meant ma’am.”

You tried not to flinch at the word. You glanced at House and saw he was glaring at the waitress.

“I know they don’t pay you much,” he growled, making her turn to face him, “and obviously you didn’t get much schooling, but you must be an idiot to refer to my boyfriend as ‘ma’am’.”

He made a point of mocking the word ‘ma’am’, like a child who just learned a new nonsense word, and thinks it’s the most ridiculous thing ever to roll off their tongue. 

“I—right, I’m sorry, it’s my mistake—” She said, turning to address you now. 

“That was established.” House scoffed. 

“What can I get for you, sir?” The waitress asked a little quieter now, though you were sure it was only to avoid any more ridicule from House. 

You gave her your order—her quickly jotting it down as you said it, repeating it to the both of you to make sure she got both orders right, and quickly walking back to the kitchen.

House rolled his eyes. “Honestly, if I can’t escape idiots at work, you’d think I’d at least be able to avoid them here.”

“It’s okay.”

“Not really.”

“No, I mean…I understand why she thought…I don’t look very masculine.”

House cocked his head to the side. “Sure, maybe you don’t have a beard to make it obvious you have a mix of testosterone and the proper hormones to give some people the hint that maybe you possibly are male, but that doesn’t mean she should be rude about it.”

“She wasn’t being rude.”

“Yes, she was. You’re clearly presenting as male, she had no issue in assuming that we were two men having dinner, and did not hesitate to call you ‘sir’. She only changed when she heard her voice. Which is rude. Especially considering there could’ve been a genetic reason or medical reason for you not having a lower voice.”

“I know that, but—”

“No buts. Let her learn her lesson.”

You gave him a look. “When did you teach her a lesson?” You teased slightly.

“That she shouldn’t have just assumed what you preferred to be called. If you didn’t want to be called ‘sir’, you would’ve corrected her the first time. Or I would have.” House paused, before slightly furrowing his brow. “Besides, no one wants to be called ‘ma’am.”

[hayleythesugarbowl]

can I request a Trevor evarts x chubby! Reader please? It’s okay if not! Storyline wise idm do what you want! Love ya ❤️

Perfect || Trevor Evarts x chubby!reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: when you are feeling insecure about your body after getting negative comments online from fans, trevor comforts you and assures you that you’re beautiful

word count: 1.1k

warnings: insecurities, body shaming for the plot, implied smut at the end

a/n: ahh thank you for this request love! i have yet to write any x chubby reader fics but it’s something that’s super important to me as someone who’s a little chubby myself so i had to write this 🤭 also female reader. enjoy!!

<— trevor hcs • another trevor fic —>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

trevor and (y/n) are cute together and i’m happy they’re happy but honestly he could do better 

i bet trevor’s gf weighs more than him lmao 

(y/n) seems like she could be really pretty if she lost a little weight 💪🔥 

you guys should have (y/n) on again. she’s actually so funny and so pretty!! 

   ⤷ bro needs to stop with the pity compliments smh. don’t be a simp she’s mid

     It was these comments—and others like it—that you couldn’t get out of your head. There were nicer ones, but those didn’t stick with you like the negative ones.

     You sighed as you scrolled through the YouTube comments. You knew it was bad for you, but you couldn’t stop yourself. 

     You had just guest starred in your first Smosh TNTL video a few days ago. Trevor had invited you once he officially became part of the cast there and you had been more than excited to be appearing in a video. 

      You’d been dating him for months now, and you had been glad to finally make your relationship public as Trevor introduced you to the viewers as his girlfriend. 

     Now, as you over-analyzed every comment anyone had made about, you felt less glad.

     You knew Trevor loved you. He had told you multiple times. And you were confident in yourself, in your body, in the fact that he would choose you over anyone else.

     But in times like these, you found yourself doubting. What if these comments bothered Trevor too? What if he wanted a partner that his fans would like? One who was thinner and more attractive than you.

     You sighed, setting your phone down. This wasn’t helping anything.

     Suddenly you heard the door to your apartment opening, Trevor walking and in and smiling when he saw you.

     “Hey baby,” he greeted. “How are you?”

     “I’m fine,” you plastered a smile on your face, not wanting him to know what you’d been thinking or doing. “How was work?” 

     “It was crazy—Shayne and I ended up dressed as the Spice Girls.”

     He laughed, shaking his head at the memory as he walked towards the couch where you sat. He sat down next you, placing a kiss on your forehead.

     “That sounds fun,” you mumbled distractedly. 

     A crinkle formed between Trevor’s brow. “What’s up?”

     You straightened your posture. “Oh, nothing. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

     Trevor didn’t looked convinced. Curse the fact that he knew you so well.

     You and Trevor had been together long enough that you knew he would pick up when something was wrong. He knew you better than you did yourself sometimes.

     All your favorite restaurants, which jelly belly you thought was the most disgusting, the temperature you liked your apartment to be at. 

     You and Trevor had moved in together together not that long ago. You loved living with him, anything that brought you closer to him. But it just meant that he was even more in tune to your thoughts and feelings.

     Now, you watched as he thought about what to say in order to figure out what was going on while also trying not to push you. 

    “Well,” he started. “What have you been up to today?” 

    “Not much,” you said, thinking about the hours you had spent on the internet.

    “(Y/n), are you sure you’re ok?”

    “I’m fine,” you said again, not looking Trevor in the eyes. 

     He nodded slowly. “Well, if something’s wrong, you know you can talk to me.”

     “Not about this,” you said quietly, feeling the tears threatening to come. 

     “Ok, now I’m getting worried,” Trevor said, trying to keep his voice light. “If you cheated on me, tell me now so I can try to convince the judge to let me have the dog in the split.”

     You attempted a weak laugh. “You know I would never.”

     You were silent for a moment, before saying more quietly, “Unless you wanted me to.”

     “What?” Trevor asked you, shocked. 

     “I don’t know,” you mumbled, willing the tears not to fall as you spoke. “I’m sure you could get a lot of girls that are better than me if you wanted to.”

     Now you couldn’t stop the tears that began to fall down your face. “I—I mean look at you. And then look at me. I’m holding you back.”

     Trevor leaned closer to you, cupping your face in his hands. “I don’t—why would you even say that?” 

     You sniffed. You supposed there was no harm in telling him now. 

     “I—I was reading some of the comments from the TNTL video,” you avoided Trevor’s eyes. “And it seems that everyone thinks that you could do a lot better and that I’m just ugly and fat—”

     Your voice broke and Trevor pulled you into his arms, rubbing your back gently as you sobbed into his shoulder. 

     “Hey,” he said quietly, his voice close to your ear. “I don’t want you to think about any of that ever again. Don’t even think for a second that I don’t love you or that you’re anything less than perfect—because you are. Perfect.”

     He continued. “I am so sorry that you had to deal with all of that. If those people want to comment on our relationship or make you feel bad about anything then they can go to hell.”

     You lifted your head from Trevor’s shoulder, wiping tears away with your sleeve. “I know, I just—sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough for you. Like I’m keeping you from being with someone better. Prettier and skinnier.”

      “(Y/n), look at me,” he tilted your head up to his, wiping a tear away with his thumb. “I only want you. You’re the smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman I know. And I’ll personally track every one of those people down and fight them in my Posh Spice costume if that’s what it takes to prove it to you.”

     You smiled. How had you gotten so lucky? 

     Trevor let go of your face, leaning to kiss your arms. Your collarbone. Your stomach. Your hips. Before bringing his lips to yours. 

     “I love you so much, (Y/n),” he said. “I love everything about you. I always want you to know that, okay?”

     “Love you too, Trev.”

     “Now,” Trevor said, standing up from the couch, lifting you in his arms as he did so. You wrapped your legs around his waist, smiling as you leaned in to kiss him.  

     “What are we doing?” You asked him. 

     He started walking down the hall, carrying you with him. 

    “C’mon,” he said, “I want to show you how much I love you—and your body.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed loves!! check out my trevor headcanons if you want more like this 🎀

[mira--image]

ROTTMNT EPISODE ORDER

We fans know how hard it is not only to access the show's episodes, but to watch them in order as well. I created this list when I was rewatching the show and noticing all the inconsistencies in the timeline. I went off the production codes for the base order, then rearranged it based on what made sense to me. I organised the plot into more consistent arcs. So this isn't THE order, but it's the order I watch it in and enjoy. Hopefully it's a useful resource for some of you too!

Some spoilers below, because I left notes for myself to explain the order. (Dm me if you wanna know where I watch the show 🏴‍☠️)

SEASON 1 

The Mad Dogs are born, and decide to start going on missions to help the city.

Mutant mayhem. Turtles, April, Draxum, Hidden City, and weapons introduced.

Origami tsunami. Inspired, the team decides to go on a hero mission. Foot clan introduced. Raph makes a full mystic body, only briefly.

Newsworthy. The team continues to do missions of a much smaller scale. First mutant introduced. Raph can make a full magic arm.

The turtles explore ways to better their new hero team in between living their regular lives.

War and Pizza. Donnie tries to use his tech for good. Raph fails to activate his ninpo.

Donnie’s gifts. Donnie tries to use his tech for good again, and it works this time. Too bad the team doesn't like it. Meat sweats introduced.

Down with the sickness. Raph and Leo’s leadership skills are explored. 

Shell in a cell. PBJ duo and leader duo navigate their dynamics. Ghost bear introduced.

Repo mantis. With their friendship renewed, Donnie and Mikey hang out. Todd is introduced, the turtle tank is acquired.

Hypno! Part Deux! While Mikey and Donnie are gone, Leo and Raph help April with a problem at school. April has no friends, her side plot of wanting to be normal is introduced.

Minotaur maze. Hueso and the mystic pizza restaurant are introduced.

The Fast and the Furriest. The turtle tank is completed.

Mascot Melee. Raph explores the surface.

The gumbus. Baxter Stockboy is introduced.

Bug Busters. The team tries to deal with the oozesquitos themselves. Big Mama is introduced, Baron Draxum lore, Leo’s strategy explored. Raph’s mystics improve.

The longest fight. The team is a bit reluctant to sacrifice their time for missions. Armor plot introduced.

Al be back. Satisfied that they seemingly stopped the foot clan, the team carries on with their lives. Stockboy returns. Alberto is taken care of. Splinter is shown to be musically inclined.

Mrs. Cuddles. Mrs. Cuddles only shows up here.

Nothing but truffle. Todd and Meat sweats return.

Stuck on you. Raph tries to get the Mad Dogs to improve their teamwork. The shell hogs are introduced. The armor plot is furthered.

Pizza pit. Bug buster suits and shell hogs are used again.

The purple jacket. The purple dragons are introduced.

Smart lair. After meeting the purple dragons, Donnie has a renewed interest in his tech. Donnie tries to use his tech for good. Shelldon is introduced.

Late fee. Ghost bear returns.

Mind meld. Donnie tries to lead a mission, and it doesn't go well. Donnie tries to ‘fix’ his brothers again using tech. The purple dragons are mentioned.

Hot soup: the game. Mikey goes on the team's first solo mission. Donnie puts more faith in his brothers. The foot recruit is introduced.

The Evil League of Mutants. The team goes on a mission again to stop crab men at the greenhouse, and it doesn't go well. They ask Splinter to train them again. The mad dogs aren't satisfied with Splinter's training, but Splinter teaches them to be more creative and improve without weapons. They get targeted by Baron Draxum. Baron Draxum backstory.

Bullhop. After seeing how many enemies they have, the team decide to fix at least one mistake and make a friend. Bullhop is introduced. The team carefully plans a mission together, but it doesn't go according to plan. Big Mama's web plot hits a dead end.

Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man. Splinter backstory mentioned. Big mama mentions how they stole her webs in bullhop. Warren doesn't wear the gauntlet all the time. Splinter vows to be a more attentive father.

The world becomes more dangerous, and Splinter begins formally training his sons.

Shadow of evil. Splinter pays more attention to April, and discovers a strange symbol on her shirt. Splinter and armor plots furthered. Splinter has to step up to meet his destiny, and promises to train his sons.

The ancient art of ninja hide and seek. Splinter makes good on his promise to train them. He trains them to improve without relying on weapons again. Lou jitsu and big mama lore.

The purple game. The mad dogs go to a sci-fi convention, except Donnie, who gets addicted to a game. The purple dragons are involved.

Jupiter Jim ahoy! Day two of the sci-fi convention. Splinter talks about being Lou jitsu. Jupiter Jim introduced.

The mutant menace. Baxter Stockboy causes mutant panic. The team needs to lay low for a while. Leo's portals grow in size and maximum distance, but struggle with going to the right location.

Warren and hypno sitting in a tree. The armor plot is furthered.

Portal jacked! Leo's portals send his brothers to the wrong location without him. The Hidden City is explored, Leo’s magic improves. Captain piel is introduced, Hueso and Leo grow closer.

Mystic library. The team finds another mystic location. Mystic library introduced, Raph’s magic improves.

Operation normal. Sunita is introduced, April's friendship plot and armor plot are furthered, Leo’s portals improve.

How to make enemies and bend people to your will. Draxum and armor plot furthered. Foot recruit returns.

Man vs sewer. Raph gets lost in the sewers. Leo’s leadership improves as his brothers don't take it seriously.

Sparring partner. Raph finds training a bit too easy, and rescues a paper ninja. With more free time and less of a power dynamic since Draxum became leader, foot recruit and foot lieutenant grow closer.

You got served. Huseo gets Leo and Mikey to be waiters for one night.

Snow day. Leo is using portals reliably. Ghost bear mutates.

One man’s junk. Donnie and Mikey go on their own mission to collect mystic metal, but aren't trusted in their decisions. Leo’s portals improve. Repo mantis’ cat introduced.

Cloak and swagger. Splinter tries to train the boys in the woods, but get stuck indoors. Sunita and April hang out. Shelldon is like Donnie’s son.

Todd Scouts. The mad dogs aren't taking training seriously. Splinter and the boys actually go to the woods this time. Donnie uses sign language, Todd reveals his mystic power.

Insane in the mama train. The boys choose to give themselves entirely to training. The armor plot is almost finished.

End game. The boys decide that being themselves is more effective than what they learned while training. Continuation of insane in mama train. Shredder introduced.

SEASON 2

Many unhappy returns. Continuation of end game. Lou jitsu backstory. Leo’s strategy improves, but he fails to communicate and coordinate with his team. Mikey’s powers improve. Raph’s powers improve (both in size and his first raph clone limb).

Goyles, Goyles, Goyles. Turtle mutation flashback.

After facing such a foe, the appeal of being a hero team fades a bit. Only Raph seems to be interested in continuing training and missions.

Flushed, but never forgotten. Mikey is playing the hot soup game. Buddy the paper ninja is there. Splinter says ‘you only learn lessons the hard way’, which I interpret to reference the harsh lesson from Todd scouts. 

Lair games. Leo’s strategy improves. Leo gets on Donnie's bad side.

The hidden city job. Leo tries to get back on Donnie's good side. Leo goes to the Hidden City with Huseo. The shadow fiend is mentioned, the upcoming battle nexus mentioned.

Repairin’ the baron. Baron Draxum becomes an ally, and gets a job.

Pizza puffs. Raph is the last one still taking heroing seriously. The first villain is kidnapped.

Sidekick ahoy! Jupiter Jim returns. Raph is the only one acting rationally at first, then he too gives in.

Air turtle. Leo becomes a basketball mascot. Leo is still not a good communicator and fixes the problem himself.

Breaking purple. Shelldon is 13. Donnie tries to 'fix' Shelldon through discipline (he learned his lesson from Mind Meld not to mess with his mind), but learns his lesson not to forcefully change others once again, this time for real. The purple dragons are back.

Always be brownies. Foot recruit tries another way to gain power. Splinter bonds with her and April. More kidnapping.

Mystery meat. Draxum likes his job. He grows closer to the turtles.

Raph’s ride along. The team goes to the Hidden City for a holiday.

Donnie vs witch town. Donnie reveals that he wishes he had mystic powers. He learns that tech and mystics can work together.

Hidden city’s most wanted. Baron Draxum and Splinter grow closer.

Bad hair day. Leo has a spa day.

Fists of furry. April becomes a more integrated part of the family, and practises ninjutsu.

The clothes don’t make the turtle. Movie makeover montage! More kidnapping.

The Mad Dogs are forced into fighting once more.

Battle nexus New York. Kidnapper and shadow fiend revealed.

Finale part 1 & 2.  Splinter’s memories are explored. Shredder returns. Karai is introduced, and lost. The lair is destroyed.

Finale part 3. April is accepted as a Hamato. The Mad Dogs unlock their ninpo.

Finale part 4. The final fight against the shredder. Cassandra Jones switches sides. Leo is made the leader, but he hasn't yet learned to be a good communicator and not do everything himself. How will he lead the team after seeing how dangerous this life can be? Does he double down like Raph would, or pull back and encourage fewer, safer missions without giving a reason?

[parkerrogersgirl]

300 Awkward Blind Dates Later...

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: You go on a blind date on your birthday so you don't have to spend it alone, but it ends up going better than you expected.

A/N: Hey friends! This is a little birthday drabble for my buddy @roosterforme. Thank you for being such a help and inspiration, you're the best!

Warnings: fluff, maybe swearing, a whole lot of sweetness so book your dentist ASAP, allusions to smut (bc I can't help myself), spice

Word Count: 2,617

----------------------------------------------

You take a deep breath and fix your hair in your rear view mirror. You look down at your dress and check your phone one last time. You'd thought your ex would at least act like he cared that it was your birthday. He wanted you back, and yet he couldn't be bothered to text you on your birthday. So, that's why you were on a blind date on your birthday.

You put your phone away and walk into the restaurant, sitting at the bar. The bartender immediately comes over and you order a soda, presuming this date won't last long enough for you to finish any alcohol.

Once you have your soda, you let yourself relax a little bit. You let yourself get lost in the bustle of the bar at happy hour. That is until you hear a voice startle you out of your daze.

"Excuse me? Do you mind if I sit here, ma'am?"

You snap your head to your left to see the hottest man God has ever created. He has curly brown hair and a gorgeous mustache to match. He's got chocolate brown eyes that you could easily see yourself getting lost in-

"Oh! Yeah, sure." You turn to look at the clock to see that your date is 40 minutes late. You pull out your phone and see that your date had cancelled because you didn't sound like his "type," and he didn't want to waste your time. "I've been stood up, apparently, so I should probably go anyway."

The stranger frowns and takes the seat next to yours, "well, apparently it's a blind date."

"How'd you know that?"

He smirks, "if he knew what you look like, he wouldn't have stood you up. You're perfect."

You blush and as the bartender takes the stranger's order, you ask her for a refill on your soda. Before you can take your card out of your wallet to pay out, a rough hand covers yours.

"You can add it to my tab. Both of the drinks." You look up and meet his incredible eyes.

"Are you sure? You don't even know my name."

He laughs and turns your hand over to shake it, "well, I'm Bradley. Bradley Bradshaw. And you are?"

You introduce yourself, and you notice that although you're not shaking hands, neither of you have let go. There's something... right about how his hand feels on yours. It feels like you're home. You subtly roll your eyes at yourself before dropping his hand.

"Well, Bradley, why do you insist on paying for my drinks?"

He grins, putting his arm around the back of your chair, "well, miss Y/N, my mom always told me to pay for a lady's drinks on a date."

"You're awfully bold to assume this is a date," you raise your glass to your lips, smirking at him over the top.

"You were already here on a date. It's not my fault I had to step into that clown's shoes. I'm just taking a shot."

"And if I said this wasn't a date?"

"Well, I would be crushed. I think you're great. You're funny, you're hot, although we do have to have a talk about stranger danger."

You scoot your stool closer to him and start drawing circles on his leg with your finger. The second your fingertip touches him, you feel him tense up and you smile softly, "I'm hot?"

He leans in closer so his lips are almost touching your ear, "baby you're the hottest person in the whole damn bar. As soon as I saw you, you were all that mattered. Especially because I would really, really like to see you again. Tonight. In my bedroom. Preferably under me. "

You bite your lip and stand, heading for the door. You go out and stand next to your car around the corner and wait. Not even 30 minutes later, you hear the restaurant door open and close, followed by footsteps on the concrete. Bradley turns the corner speeds up, jogging toward you.

You open your mouth to speak, but before you can ask Bradley to follow you home, his arms are around you and his mouth is on yours. You moan into the kiss and back up against your car, letting your lips dance with his. His lips were coarse, but in the best way, where it feels like static electricity.

He pulls away and immediately blurts out, "do you want to come home with me?"

"Let's go. I'll come get my car tomorrow."

"No, we'll come get your car tomorrow. I don't plan on letting you go."

-----------------------

@my-emotional-self @thankyouforanonymity @supernaturaldean67 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @princess76179 @srgntjbarnes @jcc04220 @ilovethefandomwho-blog @a-tale-of-two-comics @p-parkerrr-blog @magellan-88 @healojane @mizz-kraziii @lostinspace33 @esther-maslow-90 @astheskycries @kunaikunari @turningtoclown

[rekino2114]

Blind date with Veronika grebenshchikova

Pairing:Veronika grebenshchikova x male reader

A/n: episode 12 was great, Charles was the mvp and it ended on a pretty big cliffhanger. We also got to see this Veronika quote:

(I love her so much)

Anyway I have an announcement to make starting today I will be doing a weekly drdt post every Saturday until chapter 2 is finished (I know the episodes come out on Friday but they actually come out at 1 am where I live) next Saturday will actually be the first genderbent post about this fandom (you can probably guess who it's gonna be)

This is kinda inspired by red flags by Tom Cardy and montaigne (with a twist), I put it here if you wanna listen to it, i know i'm not the first person to say this but that song is just Veronika (sorry for the really long note)

Veronika got set up on a blind date by her classmates ,mostly because they were tired of her creeping them out and wanted to pass that burden on someone else, so they asked whit to match her with someone and he chose you.

You waited at the table that you booked for you and the girl you were supposed to meet, you were slightly nervous about the date, mostly because you were scared your date would be put off by you as it's not the first time that happened but the ultimate matchmaker matched you together so you had hope.

You saw a red haired girl enter the restaurant and approach your table

"Hey, are you y/n l/n by any chance?"

"Yeah are you Veronika?"

She smiled and sat down across from you

"Yep, it's great to meet you"

"You too, I really dig your look, those fake eyeballs look amazing"

"Oh thanks so much, you're actually the first person to say that"

"Really? That's a shame, they're great"

"I think it kinda spooks people"

"Well I don't get spooked easily"

"*giggle* well then I think this date might go better than I thought"

You started talking for a bit until a waiter arrived to take your orders

"Oh I'll take a stake,very rare,I want to see the blood"

"I was about to order the same thing"

"Oh really?"

"Yes I love seeing blood in what I eat"

"Same!!"

Your waiter got very freaked out and left as you continued talking

"So what's your favorite movie?"

"Oh......it's human centipede"

"Huh? Really?"

"Yes I know it's weird but-"

"That's my favorite movie too"

"........what?"

"Yes I love seeing all the body horror and the fear on the actors faces its amazing"

"...do you like scream too?"

"I have a Ghostface mask in my closet so I can prank my friends"

"Saw?"

"I also have a Billy the puppet doll there"

"Halloween?"

"Micheal Myers is my lock screen"

".......marry me"

".....what?"

"Sorry if I'm too forward, but I think we might be soulmates. You know how I said I go to Hope's peak"

"Yeah I was wondering what ultimate you were"

"Weeeeel let me introduce myself formally, I am Veronika grebenshchikova the ultimate horror fanatic"

"....really?"

"Yes I adore all things horror and I see that I have found a kindred spirit"

"Absolutely, I love horror too, I didn't know Hope's peak considered that a talent if I did I would have probably asked to join"

"This is amazing, you're the only person I know who has a love for horror other than me, now I see why paired us together"

You continued to talk about horror movies and eat, and after eating dessert(feeding each other the red jam in the cake to make it seem like blood) you walked Veronika home, who very happily accepted another date.

[Timeskip]

Some time after your date Veronika is talking with her classmates in the cafeteria

"Y/n is the sweetest guy ever, do you know what he did for me yesterday? He carved my name with a heart on a tree in a graveyard so romantic"

"....how is that romantic?"

"That's just disgusting and unsanitary"

"Soooooo I did well matching you together didn't I?"

"100%, we've been dating for only a few days but I already feel soooo happy and in love"

"Well at least she won't bother me anymore"

"Says the guy who can't leave j alone for more than 5 minutes"

"Shut up"

Everyone got distracted by the door opening, and you coming out of it, especially Veronika who immediately tackled you into a hug

"Darling, what are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, I love that you visited me, but you're not a student"

"Well now I am actually, I asked if I could "share" your talent since I love horror as much as you and they said yes"

Veronika squealed happily and peppered your face in kisses

"That's amazing now we can spend even more time together, I have to show you my dorm it's full of horror stuff I know you'll love"

"I can't wait to see it"

As you two walked away happily a look of horror appeared on teruko and Arturo's faces

"Awww how cute, seeing happy couples like these is why I love thi- ow! What was that for?"

"You idiot, do you understand what you did, now there's two horror psychopaths in this school"

"All of the heart attacks Veronika gives us daily are gonna be doubled"

"Weeeeel, she didn't really do anything scary to me before. In fact, you two seem to be the ones she likes pranking the most, so I suggest you prepare yourselves"

".........fuck......."

[sociopathicartist]

Sans x Reader (BREAKFAST COMBO)(oneshot)

‘BreakfastCombo’

“so… how did the two of you meet anyways?” Fell asked, folding and unfolding the napkin he grabbed with his breakfast.

You were at a hotel (yes, all 7 of you, including you) in Colorado, staying there for the day until you drove down to the ski lodge tomorrow morning. Originally the plan was to leave today, but it started snowing. Snowing bad.

“Sans and I?” You questioned, not sure what he was referring to. There were 6 other skeletons.

He nodded, looking back to see his brother trying to make a plate of food with the hardly salvageable hotel breakfast buffet. “who else? m’ curious. he’s talked about you since the first day we showed up here.”

Hm. You sighed, staring down at the wooden table. God, how did you meet Sans? That was a long story that happened a really long time ago.

“Uhhh, I could tell you. Whydda ask?”

“m’ just wondering. s’ not like any of us had a human best friend like you at home. s’ weird seeing him like this.” He poked at the dry biscuit with his fork, a small snarl on his teeth.

Huh. No you in their AU’s? Interesting.

You tapped your fingers on the desk, thinking back to when you two did meet. Stars, it feels like forever ago.

“Technically,” You started. “I met Papyrus first. I was at Muffet’s and he saw me struggling with the morning crossword. He helped me finish it, promptly suggesting afterward that I try Junior Jumble instead. We just kinda became friends that morning and kept in close contact. I knew Papyrus for at least four months before I ever met Sans. It’s odd.”

“hm? whyssit odd?” Fell slurred his words together like usual, a bad habit of his.

“Well, you know.” You took a bite of your toast, swallowing down the hardly edible substance. “Everyone always meets Sans first. Before Papyrus trained with Undyne, Sans worked for her at the sentry station. Before Alphys met Papyrus, Sans ran into her in hotland and they’d watch anime together sometimes. Before Papyrus met Toriel, Sans would tell her jokes through the door. Everyone always met Sans first, but I didn’t. I didn’t even know the guy existed for a hot minute.”

“THIS FOOD IS DISGRACEFUL.” Edge suddenly appeared next to the two of you, startling you a bit. His arms were folded angrily. “I WILL GO GATHER BLUE AND DISCUSS ABOUT A POSSIBLE SHORT DRIVE TO A DINER SOMEWHERE.”

“Isn’t the whole point of staying at the hotel today because we can’t drive in the snow?” 7 people in one car during a snowstorm was a tad bit wild, especially just for some food.

“THE LODGING IS A 3 HOUR DRIVE. RESTAURANTS ARE CLOSER BY. I’M SURE THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WANT TO EAT THE ENTIRE DAY.”

Fell shrugged, not seeming to care about the whole ordeal. “room service food is way nummier. could jus’ order that, idk.”

Edge scoffed at his brother. “NEVER SAY ‘I.D.K.’ OUTLOUD EVER AGAIN.” He walked away, presumably to go grab Blue who was oddly still asleep.

“Anyways. We met for the first time when Papyrus invited me over for his birthday. I had already met Undyne and Alphys before, so there weren’t too many faces at his party that I didn’t recognize. I suppose Papyrus had talked about me to Sans before because I didn’t introduce myself and he just kinda… Stared at me the whole time.”

“that’s weird. prolly thought you were smokin’ hot and got nervous.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Again, anyways. I figured I’d break the ice, so when Paps was opening gifts I sat by Sans and cracked a birthday joke and his whole face just lit up. I knew that the guy loved jokes, but I didn’t expect him to crack one-liners and puns at me for the rest of the night.”

You trailed off in your words, the memory playing vividly in your head. After the party you had gone home and decided to scroll through some photos you’d taken earlier, deleting many that Undyne and Alphys spammed on your phone when you had left it unintended. You saved some photos and went to send them to the pair, but saw a new contact added. You clicked on it, seeing the only message being an awful one-liner.

(—-,—-,——) - 9:12 pm - why did the cell phone bring a sweater to the party

(—-,—-,——) - 9:12 pm - it didn’t want to get a cold signal. lol.

(—-,—-,——) - 9:15 pm - it’s cold. stay warm on your way home.

Ah. You must have given Sans your number at some point during the party. Who else would send these horrible puns?

10:05 pm- LMAO. I made it home safe, don’t worry.

You two ended up texting on and off for about an hour before retreating to bed.

A few days later you ended up having a shitty day at work. Unlike your normal tendency to bottle things up, even to your best friend, Papyrus, you wanted to spill your feelings... You called Undyne and Alphys. No answer. Papyrus was busy with Mettaton today, so both those options were out. Toriel answered but said she was at the park with Frisk. You didn't want to impose and passed off your call as a simple check-in. BP would only bring more down since he wasn’t the best at comforting, so you were led to your last option.

You rang the number and heard the pickup tone.

“hey?”

“Hi! Sorry, I’ve just had a long day and wanted to talk.”

You heard a soft sigh before a response. “go on. i’m not busy.”

“you called for how long?” Fell gave a bit of a surprised look to you.

“7 hours! I know. After I told him about my shitty day he ended up telling me about his equally awful one. I don’t know, we just talked.”

Fell stared at you for a moment, the end of his phalange picking at his gold tooth. You raised an eyebrow.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” You battered.

“no, no. keep talkin’.”

After the two of you ended the call, you had asked to call the next day.

So you called the day after that.

And the day after that.

And the day after that one.

It took a long time for you to notice how close you and Sans had become. Papyrus was the realization moment for you.

“HUMAN, I MUST SAY THAT YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT INFLUENCE ON SANS.”

You looked up to Papyrus, setting your menu down on the booth table. “What?”

“HE HAS BEEN MORE ACTIVE NOW THAT HE IS TALKING TO YOU SO MUCH. I MUST SAY, I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THIS DEVELOPMENT!”

“Oh, uhm…” You took a sip of your water, the ice-cold temperature giving the roof of your mouth a bit of a cold shock. “Thanks.”

You did feel a bit bad at the fact that you were spending a bit more time with Sans over Papyrus, your best friend, but he was occupied with Mettaton and didn’t mind much. The two brothers still ate up a large portion of your time.

For Sans’ birthday, you chose to knit him a blanket. You had corrected him several times that it was knitting, not crochet, but now you were convinced that the smirk on his face when you corrected him meant he knew the difference and just said crochet to patronize you.

Although he tried to avoid you from coming into his room, mostly because it was messy and unfurnished, you had caught glimpses of it from time to time. A big ringer you noticed was the lack of a proper blanket in his room. While the temperature didn’t bother him much due to the lack of skin, you still didn’t like the idea of him being without a blanket at night.

You had been sneaky with it, casually asking him to go on a shopping spree with you and stopping at the yarn store on your way home. While you picked out your yarn for a separate project, you watched to see which yarns he liked. It was easy to tell, if he liked the color of it he’d pick it up and see if he liked the feeling. If approved, he’d hold onto it for a few moments before putting it back up. You kept note of which ones he liked and went back to the store alone the next day, picking out enough yarn of the two colors he was amused by.

It turned out as a soft blue blanket. The main yarn was a sky blue that was silky and cold to the touch paired with a dark blue crushed velvet that wrapped as a border. It took about two weeks of knitting in all your free time to finish it, completed by being folded nicely and wrapped up in paper.

After the small party you and your friends planned for him, you chose to give him your gift alone.

Well, not alone. You had attached a letter you wrote for him to the gift and placed the blanket on his mattress, knowing he’d see it later. You were correct, receiving a text from him later thanking you for the gift.

He seemed to open up to you a lot more after that.

“Sooooo, the rest is history.” You tossed the paper plate (still full of gross food) into the trash.

“wow. wowwowwowwowwow.” Fell shook his skull. “boring story.”

You scoffed at him, heading into the elevators as he followed beside you. “Yak it up. You asked. What did you expect, hm?”

He shrugged, pressing your floor number once you were in the elevator. “dunno. sounds like you two were going to shack or somethin’.”

“Fell, you perv! Nothing is going on between him and me.”

“yeahhhh, alright sweetheart.”

You scowled at him, breaking separate ways once you were out of the elevator and going to your hotel room.

You were lucky. Being the 7th member of the ‘friend/family’ group meant you were the odd one out, and also the only female. (ignore if you’re gender-neutral) If there was ever a situation like this where you all had to stay in rooms, you always got your own while all the individual brothers shared theirs. You can only imagine the chaos breaking out between Edge and Fell, cooped up in that tiny room together.

Your bed was cold and plush when you laid down on it, all made up by the hotel cleaning service. You stared up at the ceiling, your hands over your stomach. There wasn’t anything going on between you two, right?

Ugh. It was only 8:30 am, so most everyone was still asleep except the malicious duo, that was unless Edge successfully woke up Blue. You couldn’t just go back to sleep either. All the talking and walking around made your sleepiness wear off, so you were just a bit stuck. You grabbed your phone, choosing to mindlessly scroll on Pinterest.

You wouldn’t make a move on Sans since you were almost 100% positive that not only was he not interested in you, but that he wasn’t interested in a relationship at all. Every time you brought up the subject he just got dodgy, so you just chose to bury any feelings you had deep down so that you wouldn’t risk the friendship and be a hopeless romantic over some guy.

But now?

Ugggggh. Your feelings were all in a wad. Fell had successfully just made things complicated. He may be a bit of a punk sometimes, but he wouldn’t say something like that to you if he didn’t think you two were interested in each other. Even though he’s a bit rougher around the edges, he still is a Sans. He has the same morals and motivations similar to Classic, unlike Blue on the other hand. He would be your next best dig at getting into Sans’ thoughts since asking him directly was too risky.

You could ask Papyrus, but Papyrus is loyal to keeping his word. You heavily admired it and used his loyalty as a bit of a role model for yourself, but unfortunately, that meant that going to him for an inside scoop meant you’d have to be tricky with your words. Sure, he wouldn’t let you go in completely blind since you were his best friend. If he knew of your little crush he definitely wouldn’t let you get heartbroken, and would give indirect suggestions that technically don’t break his loyalty.

You chose your next best option.

8:34 - u up?

8:35 - i wanna ask u smthn.

8:39- did u go back to sleep ?

8:41 - evil sans (satan) - what's up

8:42 - do u think he likes me?

8:42 - don’t make fun

8:43 - evil sans (satan) - jfc, you woke me up for this?

8:43 - evil sans (satan) - im going back 2 sleep

8:44 - fell pleeeease:(:(:(

8:45- evil sans (satan) - im not sure. he doesn’t talk about that stuff to me. he does act interested in u though, esp compared to how he acts around everyone else.

Mh. You typed and sent a short thanks to him, feeling pretty satisfied with what new information you’ve learned.

You shut your phone off, sighing and tossing it beside you. If you were back home, you’d go and talk to Toriel about this. She’s always so nice and comforting to talk to. Granted, Alphys and Undyne were also good options, but they had a bit of a hard time keeping a secret in relation to crushes. You’d be teased high to no end. Mettaton would be nice to talk to, you could have a day with facemasks, mani-pedis, and gossip.

But you weren’t home, were you? So… how to pass the time…

The time went by slowly. It wasn’t until about 10 am that Blue and Stretch woke up, begrudging you to hang out with them downstairs in the hotel lounge. Since you already had plans to take a short drive to get food, eating at the hotel wasn’t really on the table. Blue dragged you and Edge to do one of the community puzzles the hotel had while Stretch and Fell lounged in chairs, occupied on their phones.

It didn’t take long for Sans and Papyrus, the iconic duo, to show up in the lobby. The short skeleton stood behind you, ruffling your hair a bit while Papyrus rambled on about why they were up so late.

“HORRIBLE. JUST HORRIBLE. WE HAVE BEEN UP FOR THE PAST HOUR AND I HAVE WASTED 30 MINUTES JUST DRAGGING HIM OUT OF BED!” Papyrus complained, some snickers being heard from Stretch about the situation.

“I’m sorry, Papyrus.” You tried to console him, elbowing Sans in the ribcage for his older brother's havoc. “When we get to the ski lodge tomorrow we’ll have our own room.”

Sans nodded, feigning a hurt expression from your elbow jab. “sorry bro. i really gotta work on my self o-bed-ience.”

Several groans were heard, and Fell waved Sans off. “boring, lazy, sloppy. you’ve been lacking on your puns recently.”

Blue connected another puzzle piece, a small look of pride and victory on his face. “I SUGGEST YOU CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS, LAZY ME. WE ARE GOING OUT TO EAT.”

Papyrus’ attention was caught. “GOING OUT? I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO SNOWY.”

“FOR A 3 HOUR DRIVE, YES.” Edge corrected. “BUT THIS DINER IS ONLY 5 MINUTES AWAY AND SEEMS TO SERVE EDIBLE BREAKFAST OPTIONS.”

“hmmm. who’s gonna drive, again?” Stretch eyed everyone in the group. None of you preferred driving.

Papyrus’ face changed to fear, quickly holding up his hand to his nasal socket. “NOES-GOES!”

The crowd of you went wild, the once tired and calm group now screaming “noes goes” while raising their hand. A few people in the lounge looked over at you, trying to see what was disturbing the peace.

Blue groaned once he realized he yelled out last. “WHY DO I ALWAYS LOSE AT NOES-GOES?! I SWEAR, YOU ASSHOLES ONLY PICK IT BECAUSE IT IS THE ONE GAME I AM BAD AT.”

“sorry, bro.” Stretch showed a half-hearted sympathetic look. “we don’t make the rules.

“Why don’t we put up the puzzle and head out then? There’s nothing wrong with being in your pyjamas. It’s not like we know anyone here.” You gestured to your lazy pyjama outfit, vouching a bit for Sans.

“see? they get it.” Sans commented, looking at you with a lazy grin.

“I SUPPOSE IT’S OKAY… BUT JUST FOR TODAY.”

The drive was chaos.

Somehow just five minutes in the car leads to sibling fights, Blue yelling at everyone to shut up so that he can focus on driving, Sans pestering Papyrus with puns and Fell showing you TikToks on your phone that he found funny. You never got a break from them.

Blue managed to park the car with several harasses from Edge about how “HE NEEDS A CAR SEAT TO EVEN LOOK OUT THE WINDSHIELD PROPERLY.” The snow was still relentless, just occurring to you that Blue was right and you should have not gone out in your pyjamas. While the others didn’t have skin and weren’t temperature-bothered, you were. You kept trying to rush them all into the diner as quickly as possible.

“I RECALL THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WANTING TO STAY IN YOUR PYJAMAS.” Edge teased you, watching as you sat down and tried to conserve your warmth by wrapping your arms around your waist.

You grabbed one of the menus, glaring at him. “I didn’t realize how cold I’d be. Gimmie a break, man.”

You loved him, but he could be a tad annoying sometimes. Quite frankly all of them got on your nerves now and then.

Food items, Food items… Hashbrowns, some ‘Waffle Topple’ special for 9.99. Your stomach grumbled at all the options.

“still cold?” Sans’ familiar voice rang out.

You looked down at him, seeing that he was sitting next to you. Odd, usually Papyrus or Stretch sat by you.

Checking around the table, you saw the chatter amongst the other skeletons. The two of you would be able to talk one one-on-one for a few minutes before any interruptions.

“A bit. It’s not my fault it’s still cold in here.” You scanned over the menu again. “Whatcha gonna get?”

“not sure.” Sans shrugged, tapping his phalanges on the menu. “all of these options are pretty eggstraordinary.”

“Sans.”

“but i think the breakfast combo looks grape.”

You crossed your arms, watching as his amused expression developed. “I’m not doing it. It’s too early.”

“what?” Sans looked over to you. “you got something to hash out with me?”

“10 am. 10.”

“just one? then i’ll quit.” Sans pleaded. “don’t grit your teeth at my puns.”

You groaned in annoyance, hiding your face behind your menu and peeking at him. “Uhmmmm. I’m really tired. I don’t think I can mustard up any good puns.”

Sans stared at you for a few seconds, a bit of a confused and enticed expression. “wow. mustard isn’t even a breakfast food.”

“You didn’t say it had to be.”

“didn’t i? i thought it was obvious with the way my puns were roll-ing.”

“I thought you said you’d quit.”

“i know.” Sans winked, setting his menu back on the table and shrugging off his jacket.

He pulled you in by your shoulders, wrapping his jacket around you to provide a layer of warmth.

You smiled softly, your cheeks heating up a bit since he got so close. Breathe. “Aw. for me? Your musty ketchup jacket?”

Sans brushed you off, his permanent smile twinging upward a bit more. “whaaattt? diddya think i’d give you the cold shoulder?”

You elbowed his arm, pretending to be annoyed despite enjoying his puns. It was a bit impressive how witty he was. You wrapped the jacket around you a bit tighter, not seeing the way Sans was busy staring at you.

“Whatcha gonna order, Papyrus?” Your voice rang soft to him.

Papyrus looked up to you, beginning to ramble about all the options they had, Blue occasionally piping in to debate on which one was best. You glanced over to Sans while listening to them babble, catching a glance of him before he quickly looked away.

You’d tell him soon, one day.

first one shot upload:3 idk if i should make it a two part or not? thanks for reading <3

[multiverse-imagines]

Hello! I wonder if you could write a sequel to Bad Omen but with Vash or Milly and Meryl meeting reader after Fifth Moon event.

Please and thank you

A/N: Absolutely! I'm so sorry it took literally all year to write this! I've been in a weird place, so writing hasn't happened much in general; and quite frankly I hate not writing. There's nothing worse than not writing. Anyways, Enjoy!

Bad Moon

Chapter 2: The Bigger Picture

A year and a half went by, and yet each night I stared up at the fifth moon, the giant crater in it. I could feel the phantom pains of my arm aching whenever I looked at it, grounding me to reality. Even as I ran the memories through my mind like a movie, I couldn't help it. The man… that calm before the storm… the brother of The Stampede… The Stampede that hadn't been heard from since that, now second, infamous day.

In a town to the far south, I was working in yet another restaurant. Despite my prosthetic arm and bum knee, I had really begun to enjoy talking with the locals, and being so sweet to them that they showered me with tips. Sometimes. It was during one of my shifts that I saw a familiar face. The two ladies who had been with The Stampede as they had entered Augusta. I was relieved to see what they had survived, but the short one looked absolutely livid at the sight of me. I gasped as she charged at me, and I hardly had time to scramble away before she was interrogating me as if I had messed up her order and she wanted to speak to my manager.

“It's you! You were leaving Augusta that day! How did you know he would be there? Who do you work for?!” She yelled in the restaurant, causing a scene. I put my hands up in surrender as she held my shirt collar.

“I don't work for anyone! I… I just…” I tried to speak up as she continued to beg and berrate me for answers, and I didn't notice her tears until her grip on my shirt faltered. I paused, looking at her with sadness. She… she loved The Stampede… the man who was now missing. I looked to the woman’s friend, the tall girl who had ordered the pudding and Ceylon tea.

“Meryl… it's not their fault…” the big girl said softly, as if this wasn't the first time the short one had lashed out since the Typhoon’s disappearance.

“Yeah, Milly, but…” Meryl sighed, looking into my eyes. It was clear she still wanted answers. I gave a sigh, and steadied myself as I asked them to wait. I told my boss I was taking break, as there was a lull in my customers, and I sat down with them, a dessert snack in my hands.

I told them everything I knew. July, my injuries, the strange man who was The Stampede’s brother, the cities he had destroyed, and the conversation I had with him the day that Augusta was destroyed. They listened in horror for most of it, the bigger girl’s eyes pitying me, and my lonely life. She looked as if she came from a big family. The other girl, Meryl, she still looked heartbroken to know the beloved Stampede was presumed dead.

“I… I saw him… Vash the Stampede… he's a friend of ours… he and his brother… they're not human. I was… terrified to see him that way…” she seemed to be regaling mostly to herself. I had known by the brother’s words that he and Vash weren't human. I began to wonder what she saw that day while I had scurried into the sands, but I didn't pry.

“I'm sorry.” I said gently. I had nothing else to offer her except my condolences and my inability to stop this war between these inhuman storms. I offered my name, and an exchange of addresses we could be reached by. If we saw Vash, or Mr. Wolfwood, the priest in black, we could give each other updates.

—

It was another two months since I had seen the Insurance Girls when I saw the man in black. I approached him gently, and introduced myself. He was a kind man, and had such tired eyes. He seemed unfazed by the fact I had met the brother of the Stampede. He seemed to know more about the brother than I did.

“His name is Knives Millions. And if you value your life you’ll keep doing what you have been and run the second you see him.” He said with an edge to his voice that showed an unmistaken kindness. I nodded, heeding his words. When I asked if Vash was alive, Wolfwood shrugged, and said he didn't know, but the look in his eyes was practically begging to say yes. He was alive out there somewhere, and Wolfwood was still looking. He left town later that evening and I believed that to be the end of it. I was wrong of course.

A week later I found myself with a customer of absolute beauty. Her hair was long and blonde, she appeared to be able to kill a man just by glancing his way. She asked for my name, and next I knew I felt a prick in my neck and I was out.

I awoke in a chamber atop a rather comfortable chaise lounge. Sitting across from me, a delicate wine glass in his hand, was Knives Millions. The gaze of a wrathful God was upon his face as he analyzed my visage with general disdain once more.

“We meet again, Human.”

[biohazard-4ever]

I would love to hear what you think Leon’s daily routine is for weekdays, like a step by step routine. For example:

6:30am-leon wakes up

7:00am-shower

7:30am- make a quick breakfast while watching the news

7:45am- commute to work

8:00am- arrive at work

and so on…

5:00 A.M: Leon wakes up between 5:20 - 5:45, but his alarm is set to 7:00 a.m., the anxiety and ansiousness of his daily routine is getting the better of him and he wakes up already that early.

6:00 A.M He has his breakfast soon after he complete his morning routine. He takes a shower after doing the dishes. He takes his phone with him to the bathroom because he likes to hear to music as he shower.

Anymore of this silence he can swear he will go mad.

7:00 A.M Leon is not a huge fan of watching the news because it makes him sick to the stomach how the journal is corrupted and bought by the government.

Leon would much rather search for news himself through internet and other sources other than the TV news.

8:00 A.M he Arrives at his work's parkin lot. Private parking lot. He stops his bike there. Leon enjoys the attention his Kawasaki receives, he will not lie. He is a fancy man -, fancy vehicles, fancy clothing brands and style, fancy hair... Leon likes to be well dressed and he is recognized by that.

11-12.AM Leon likes to go for his break early simply because when he returns from break, it is more likely he will get to a fairly empty office because by the time he is back, he will have proper silence and get to enjoy some "nothing to do" moment on the couch.

Leon has a stress ball he squeezes and play around with it. Throwing it up and down.

15:00 PM (3p.m) Leon is normally dismissed by the President around this time. And if there is no urgency, Leon will circle around the White House, or take his free time and go to somewhere. But with his phone always charged and on attention to it. Leon usually looks for a new hobby every day, so he visits the Bookstore, Biblio, Gym, a new restaurant, or simply to the mall.

Leon likes people, right? Right.

So he does not have a hard time introducing himself to someone, get to known them... Maybe even hook up with them. Leon is not going to the places purposely looking for women to hook up with, but instead, looking for Human contact. But NOT RARELY, that would get him to some woman's bed or a meaningless date. A bar date. Some making out, kisses and that is it.

They don't exchange phone number, no surname... Completely casual and no demands from either side. And IF LEON does get to hook up with a girl, he will arrive home only after 00:00.

If not, he will arrive home by 17:00. and do an intense Work Out routine. Take a shower, make dinner or order take out.

This ask kinda got me in surprise and I didn't polished my thoughts before doing this but... I know myself, if I decide to think this through, I'll never complete it and never answer it lol

Besides... Am lazy :'3

[fatfables]

The Gainer in the Sty or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Others and Love the Bulge

A weight gain/gainer story for everyone who had to read that book at school!

Fakes. Nothing annoys me more than fakes. Fake fatties, fake gainers, fake feeders. Fraudulent men with fake bellies, with cushions stuffed up their t-shirts. They say they wanna get fat, they say they wanna feed ya, then all they do is sit around all day pulling it to AI generated images of teenage boys and girls with unrealistic protruding guts that are so fucking obviously fake. Then they probably go to the gym and hang with their fake friends where they take fake selfies pushing out their fake bellies so that they can post them to more fake friends on Insta or Snap ‘em with other fake gainers who lie to ‘em and tell ‘em how fat they’re gonna get. Even worse is the Mpregs, so obviously fake. And the Furries. Oh, you’re a fat pregnant male ostrich are you? Well get your thick fucking head out of the sand you fucking fake. I’m not like them. I’m a real boy, with a real belly. Not one of these perverted online losers who dreams of metamorphosing from an otter into a bear or any other damn cute little animal. I’m a real boy, I ain’t no Peter Pan and I ain’t no Robin Hood. I’ve never asked no one to morph a picture of me. I don’t need to. I ain’t into no fan art either. God, that shit annoys me. Here’s fat Ash and fat fucking Pickachu. Not into that? Why not try fat Kyle and fat Kenny or fat Bart Simpson? Bit fucking young ain’t ‘e? You fucking fake perv. The internet’s fucking full of fat anime guys and girls, but it’s alright ain’t it, cos they’re just cartoons, they’re just fakes. Till you find yourself stroking the snake to a Shutterstock image of a fat kid eating a burger.

I’ve gone too far. I do that sometimes. I’m Cody and I go too far. That’s how I should maybe start introducing myself. So as to warn people. So that they don’t get too offended. I just get so annoyed. The online world irritates me. I should also let you know that I’m a real gainer. I ain’t no fake. I love to eat and I love to do it in order to get fatter. I got a real pot belly, a real developing Dadbod. I only eat unhealthy food and I only drink carbonated drinks. Anything else would just be fraudulent. I ain’t ever bloated myself on water and I ain’t ever going to. And as for sticking a bike pump up my flabby ass, well you can damn well forget about that. My ass is a one way street! Well it ain’t, but you know what I mean. I ain’t one for air. It takes up too much space that could be better put to use for food storage.

I’ll give you an example of what I mean. I was staying downtown cos I was trying to avoid my folks. I’d gotten kicked out of yet another restaurant and didn’t quite know how to tell ‘em, so I checked myself into this middlin’ hotel for a few nights. Plan was to stay in my room and eat and goon. But I soon got bored of that after the first dozen take outs so I started swipin’ on the app like you do. Came across this cute little femboy called Danni with a pear shaped ass, said she wanted to feed me till I was a human balloon and then fuck me. We chatted for a bit and then I gave her my room number. I was already full to excited after my take outs and stood admiring myself in the mirror. My distended gut was already beautifully swollen and I stroked the underside of it dreaming about how very big she was gonna make me...

Read the rest for free at www.fatfables.com

[dandelionterminal]

when they have a plus size s/o pt. 3

where Heizou falls in love with your brain and Tighnari can't seem to get enough of you. tags: plus size, fluff, hurt/comfort, insecure reader, jealousy, not beta read pronouns: they/them once in Tighnari's, 3rd person characters: Shikanoin Heizou, Tighnari (separate)

begins below cut

~you braved the storm, welcome to Inazuma~

Heizou: where the flirtatious detective proves his love beyond a reasonable doubt. Heizou is a known flirt, but with you it is different. You work with him on a case and you expect it to end there, but he keeps coming to your work and even gets jealous and protective of you. 

Total words: 1011

Heizou is known to flirt with people in order to achieve his ends and you figured it was the same for his flirting with you

You agree to help him with a case and expect him to disappear once the case is solved, but he keeps coming around

He is intrigued by you and your ability to see through lies 

He falls in love with your mind and intellect before your body

He does not see why you would be insecure, he adores you

Once you start dating, he loves to initiate PDA, much to your dismay

Loves embarrassing you, he lives for reactions

When you first came to Inazuma City, you wandered a bit before finding a home at the restaurant by a big sakura tree. Kiminami restaurant was known for its strange pizza delicacy that the traveler had introduced the owner to. After working there for a while you earned a reputation as the sweet, plump person who had a dazzling smile. 

When Heizou first came to Kiminami he was there to get details for a case. A customer who had eaten there had gone missing under suspicious circumstances and he wanted to dig details out of you. He sat down on a stool and began to chat you up. He ordered a glass of water and a bowl of soba noodles, all the while talking to you about nothing and everything. As you tended to your other customers he began to pry into you. 

“So what sort of people come here? Other than myself of course,” Heizou asked. You raised an eyebrow at him. He was suspicious, in your eyes. People came to the restaurant for small talk, but not this much small talk. The small talk was usually brief, they got their food, and then they would go quiet and then leave. This guy would not shut his trap. It was like he could talk to a wall. 

“Um… anyone and everyone come to eat here. What are you trying to find out?” you asked. You were perceptive to his strange, leading questions. 

Heizou didn’t show it, but he was impressed by your perception skills. Most people, especially customer service workers, in his experience would be distracted by work and just give up any information that he wanted. But you were not lost in the trance of routine and work, you were awake and clever. 

“Oh nothing, my dear. I’m just making conversation,” he answered with a smile, his eyes closed. “Can’t a guy ask a question?” 

You shrugged. “You can ask all you like, but that does not mean that I am going to give you the answer you are digging for. At least not without something in return,” you answer. 

Heizou was intrigued by this. “Oh my. So forward of you,” he said with a wink and shine in his eyes. 

You blushed faintly. “Not forward, mister, just know my worth.”

“Well, that is an intriguing trait. What did you have in mind, for the return of course,” he asked

“Nothing much,” you said, “maybe some mora. But most importantly I want to know why you want this info you are seeking.”

Heizou chuckled, “so you’re interested in my work, hm? Fine. Give me my info, I’ll tell you what I am working on.”

You hummed, tapping your chin dramatically as if thinking hard about your next move. “How about instead we trade back and forth?” you suggested, “that way neither of us is cheated.” 

“Oh you are clever,” he said. “Fine, sit down then.” He gestured to the empty seat next to him. You took a seat, ready to learn all there was to know about this strange man.

-

After you agreed to help Heizou on his case, living for the thrill of it, Heizou would come by each day around lunch to ask more questions about his suspect. It became a routine and you both became fond of each other. Despite your better judgment you began to have feelings for the squirrelly doushin. You let yourself have a faint spark of hope that maybe he liked you back as well. I mean, he did keep coming back didn't he? And the two of you talked about more than just the case. He would ask you how you feeling, if you had eaten, what your favorite things were… How could someone not fall for that kind of person? He was flirtatious but had a good heart deep inside. 

But then his case ended. He’d caught the perp, which meant he would stop coming by.

Or so you thought. He kept coming. He kept showing up at the same time every day. You were surprised, but you didn’t tell him that. 

“You won’t believe it y/n,” he said one day as he came into the restaurant. You looked up from where you were wiping a table for a customer who had spilled their drink. Your outfit sagged off your shoulder as you did so. 

“Oh Shikanoin, welcome in,” you said as you finished cleaning, turning to your patron and smiling at them. “There you go sir, I’ll get you a fresh drink,” you said and turned to get a new drink for the man. 

Heizou glowered at the man and followed you. “Y/n,” he said, “that man is drooling over you.”

You stopped him as he tried to walk into the back of the shop. “Shikanoin we’ve talked about this. You can’t come into the back of the shop,” you said, holding up your hand to his chest. “And he so is not into me,” you defended, tugging your sleeve to cover your shoulder. “No one would be.”

“There you go again,” he said. “How can you not see how dreamy you are?” 

“And there you go again. Archons, if you think I’m so dreamy why don’t you date me?” you asked in exasperation. 

“I would but you’re out of my league,” he said in a deadpan tone. 

That gave you pause. You stopped pouring the man’s sake and turned to Heizou. “Don’t joke like that, it’s cruel,” you said, trying to keep the tears out of your eyes. 

“Why would I joke about that with you?” he said, stepping towards you. He put a hand on your chin to tilt your head to meet his eyes. “I know how you look at me, did you think I wouldn’t notice?” With each word his lips got closer to yours, “And you’re smart enough to know how I look at you,” he said, a breath away from your lips. He waited for you to close the gap. 

And when you did, the greatest mystery of all was solved. 

~Sumeru, don't forget to dream~

Tighnari: where foxes mate for life and he wants to have you all his life. When you first come to Avidya forest as a researcher you don’t expect to fall for the fox man who runs the place. But you do. When you go on your first trek and end up injured and sick, Tighnari nurses you back to health over several weeks. 

Starting off he thinks you’re lazy and clumsy

He doesn’t think you’re stupid like most of the Akademia, but you are annoying to him

But after spending time with you he starts to like you

Your comedy is on par with Cyno’s and he doesn’t like that so much but he can overlook it

He likes to hold you in his arms 

Forehead kisses if you’re shorter than him

He is a tease so be prepared for that

Total words: 1361

Avidya forest was hot and humid. And it was always like that. It was like an eternal hot spring. And it was not easy on the human body. But it is where mushrooms thrived. You trudged through the rainforest, a flask of water sloshing on your waist, a notepad and pencil jingling on the other side, and a heavy backpack clanking on your back. You didn’t know whose bright idea it was to send the least athletic of the dormant fungi researchers into the forest but here you were, climbing hills and swatting bugs off your skin. You were on your way to the village of Gandharva Ville where you were told a former scholar lived. You sighed as you settled to rest on a set of stairs at the foot of a large tree house. From above you, you heard a crude and indignant voice shout down at you. 

“Um, excuse me? That is where people walk, you laze about,” the voice said. You looked up to see a man with fox ears on the top of his head. A large bushy tail swished behind him as his bicolored eyes glared down at you. You stood up frantically, hands clasped in front of yourself. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered out, intimidated by the confident fox man in front of you, “I’m a researcher from Amurta,” you explained. “I’m looking for a master Tighnari, I was told to find him to get my research mission approved.” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re y/n? I was told you would be coming. Come up here, laze about, show me this research.” 

You followed him up the stairs and into a cabin. He gestured for you to sit. You pulled your backpack off your back and pulled out a file folder of papers and materials and meticulously sorted. “I’m here to research the Rukkha­sha­va mushroom and its potential spiritual connections. I think the layers of the mushroom hold the potential to heal spiritual and mental ailments,” you explained. 

He hummed as he skimmed over your research. “Quite whimsical,” he said, “but the chemical makeup you break down here does make sense. You can stay here while you research. But don’t wander into a withering zone, and do not eat any wild mushrooms.”

You blinked at him. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” you asked. He sounded like he was talking to a toddler. 

“You would be surprised by the idiocy of some of the Akademia scholars I have encountered,” he replied. He stood and offered his hand. 

You squinted at him. “I don’t doubt it but I am not stupid promise,” you take his offered hand, stand, and sling your bag back on your shoulders. You continue to give him quizzical eyes and head off into the forest. The sun was still high in the sky, the day was young, and you could spend the time finding a spot in the forest and setting up camp. 

You set out to a spot deep in the forest, where no human influence could be seen. You had made it far away from the village, so far only the sound of fungi dancing in the moonlight could be heard. You shucked off your pack and set up a tent on some level ground and began stoking a fire. Come daylight you would head to higher ground to inspect some trees to see if the mushrooms were prevalent at lower elevations. 

-

Tighnari was restless. That researcher from Amurta hadn’t come back yet. It had been three days. Sure, some treks into the forests were long and arduous, but this was unusual. Maybe he had offended you horribly by calling you a laze about. He was about to organize a search party when Collei burst through the door. “Master Tighnari!” she shouted, panting and out of breath. 

“Collei what is wrong? Slow down and breathe!” He lightly scolded. 

“There isn’t time! Y/n came back… and they’re bleeding!” she shouted. Tighnari rushed out, calling out orders to Collei and he ran. 

When he reached you he saw you were practically unconscious, a large gash on your arm that you had haphazardly wrapped a shirt around. The shirt was soaked in crimson and your lips were pale. That wasn’t the only injury. There was a large cut to your head that you had clearly hit. 

“What happened?” He hastily asked you as he began to quickly wrap you in blankets that Collei brought to him. 

You chuckled dryly and coughed. “I was climbing up a tree to reach a mushroom-” you choked out. 

“How high up?” He asked. 

You grimaced. “High.” 

He sighed loudly. “Alright,” he said, standing to his full height. “Collei, I need some water and a stretcher,” he shouted over his shoulder. “We need to start cleaning the wounds.”

And with that the village went to work, rushing around you like a hoard of ants. 

-

That day went by in a blur. People rushing in and out, Tighnari shoveling tonics and concoctions in you to help you recover, Tighnari cleaning and wrapping your wounds and mending your bones, the day turned to night and you drifted in and out of consciousness. 

You woke up the next morning to Tighnari at your bedside redressing the wound on your arm. He looked up, sensing the shift in your breathing, and squinted at you. “More lucid this morning?” he asked. 

You squinted back at him. “I assume so,” you said. “What’s the verdict, doc? Am I not long for this world?” you joked. 

He scoffed. “Your sense of humor is on par with Cyno’s,” he said. “No, but you broke your arm and lost a lot of blood. And we don’t have a healer out here, so you’re stuck under my care until you are well.” 

You frowned. “I guess it could be worse,” you replied. “Sorry to be a burden.” “Don’t climb trees next time,” he scolded. He stood. “Don’t be such a lummox,” and with that, he left, tail swaying behind him. 

-

Over the next few weeks you got into a routine. You would wake, have a light breakfast, and Tighnari would come redress your wounds. During that time you two would talk about anything and everything. It started out lightly. He would ask how you’re feeling and you would reciprocate, asking how he was. Then it shifted as he noticed things about you. He would ask about your other hobbies outside of the Akademia. You would indulge him in his. You would joke with him and dig information out of him. He became gentler with you over time. And you started to look forward to seeing him. You would take all his time away, talking nonstop about anything. One time he even kissed your forehead. Before long your arm was healed and you were set to go back to the Akademia. 

You were putting you backpack on your shoulders when he came in. Just like any other day he came in with a bowl of clean water and fresh bandages. He stopped when he saw you, freezing in his tracks. 

“Oh,” he said. “That’s right. You’re meant to go home today.”

You smiled. “Yep. I overstayed my welcome as it is,” you said. 

He frowned at that. “You’re welcome here anytime, laze about.” 

Your heart skipped a beat and you flushed. You shook your head at him. “Nope I need to get going before people get the wrong idea about us. I stayed too long, I’ve been well enough to travel for a while now.”

His frown deepened. “Wrong idea how?”

You laughed. “You know… I know there is no way you could be attracted to me, I mean I’m annoying and oversized, but other people don’t know that. They just see someone staying and occupying all of your time.” 

He sighed. “Y/n, you’re not annoying. I like spending time with you.” He stepped closer. “And don’t you know… my kind mate for life.”

You frowned. “I’m not your mate though.”

“Oh, but you can be,” he said, setting down his supplies and taking you in his arms. “All you have to do is stay.”