#like how they showed the parents giving the kid sex ed and it was painted as a Bad Thing by the christian protag

[methotrex8]

Some problems with Hidden Pictures I have yet to see a single person bring up

Mitzi is presented as this ✨️eccentric✨️ neighbor, but she's canonically a Fox News-watching racist that outright tells the protagonist to 'watch out for Mexicans.'

There's a twist that feels like a malicious caricature of what conservatives think parents who are supportive of their trans kids are like.

All in all, I think I know where the author of this book was on January 6th

[thatringboy]

UA Staff Headcannons

Shota Aizawa // Eraserhead

Is not Shinsou’s adoptive dad, but has shared custody with Shinsou’s parents and Yamada

Is also working on becoming Todoroki’s legal guardian

Has legally adopted Eri, but is looking for her biological family (if she has any left)

Has three cats named Oboro, Mirai and Sniffers

Listens to Yamada’s radio show all the time

Also has a Podcast series with Yamada named “Cloud Nine”

Cloud Nine talks about the life of a hero and controversial topics that go with it

Gets called “dad” by his students so many times, he responds to it naturally

If Eri tells him to wear something or style his hair a certain way, you better believe that he’ll wear it until she says otherwise

Once had a Hello Kitty barret in his hair while teaching

Hizashi Yamada // Present Mic

Knows almost every form of sign language

Doesn’t like to be involved in controversy, but is always ready to speak his mind

His Agency has a Cat Cafe for the first floor

It’s open to the public

All profits from the Cafe go to charities

And you can adopt the cats in the Cafe (it’s like a shelter for them)

Every year on Shirakumo’s birthday, his Radio Station is turned off and isn’t airing anything

Despite not being deaf, he’s an icon in the Deaf Community all over the world

Once lead a parade for people with more destructive quirks to have more rights when using their quirks

Despite having a leather hero costume, his flamboyant personality and his friendship with Kayama, Yamada is actually freaked out by bdsm

Also, his eye color has it’s own specific hex color because of how green they are

Hasn’t had a haircut since High school

Nemuri Kayama // Midnight

Is an outstanding seamstress

Can sew almost anything

Is a Bisexual icon

Currently in an on-and-off relationship with Takeyama

Despite her flirtatious behavior, Kayama is actually very respectful towards her students if she makes them uncomfortable

However, she gives horrible relationship advice

Used to be the Sex Ed teacher at Yuuei for a single semester, but her class was too hard and strict

It wasn’t like “never had sex. sex = bad!” type of strict

No, she’s crazy about consent and safe sex

When she found out that Masaru Bakugou is a fashion designer, she commissioned him to redesign her costume

The style of the costume didn’t change, but it was much easier for Kayama to use her quirk

Has hooked up with Kirishima’s Moms and never talks about it

Ectoplasm

Gets manicures every weekend

Watches the L Word

Once in a fit of rage, he took off a leg and threw it at Yamada

Kayama got it on video

Sometimes goes on Yamada’s radio station to sing

Has been on one episode of Cloud Nine and talked about hero related injuries

Eri once put stickers on his battle legs and he hasn’t removed them

Attends the same injury therapy as Tensei Iida

Is also a quirk rights activist, but not as vocal or iconic as Yamada

Sponsors a toothpaste company

Despite his similarities to Juzo Honenuki, they are not related

But it is an inside joke for them to refer to one another as “Uncle” and “Nephew”

Snipe

Owns a gun store that his mother and sister work at

Nobody knows his actual age, so his birthday cake just has seven candles for November 7th

Isn’t really a cat person and it stirs a rivalry between him and Aizawa

Nobody really knows his actual face either

His quirk doesn’t just work on bullets

Has thrown many objects at students and they always hit

Usually throws flip flops and sandals

His students call him “Chancla Man”

It used to offend him, but not anymore

Has a rocky relationship with Maijima

Ryo Inui // Hound Dog

Has a pet parrot named Turtle

On top of career advice, he also gives good relationship advice

When students take physical tests, he has to be away from them during the Ball Toss because he will chase after it

Hates to be patronized, but loves a good scratch from time to time

Another quirk rights activist and frequently goes on Cloud Nine to talk about different types of quirks

So far, Eri is the only person who has pet him in public

Higari Maijima // Power Loader

Pays for the destruction of the Development Studio with his own money

Often gets IDed when going shopping

Has also been mistaken for a student several times

He was just like Mei Hatsume when he was younger

Has been voted teacher of the year several times in a row

Even non Support Class students like him

Once invented a robot that could play Just Dance so that he could beat Yagi’s high score

That robot is now his teaching assistant

The robot was originally named “D.A.V.E”, but changed to “Junior Loader” after he learned about David Shield

His fingertips are ultra sensitive like ATLA Toph’s feet

He can’t see out of his helmet, but doesn’t want to change the design

He and Snipe don’t talk much and rarely work together because they used to date

It was a strong relationship that ended abruptly and nobody knows why

Snipe doesn’t even get his gear upgraded at Yuuei because of this

The back of his helmet has stickers all over it from Eri and he pretends to not notice

Toshinori Yagi // All Might

Runner up for teacher of the year behind Maijima

Often has to leave Yuuei throughout the day for legal things concerning his retirement, villains he took down in the past and copyright things with his brand

Updated his will to split all of his possessions down the middle between Midoriya and Bakugou

Is upset that Midoriya got new powers with OFA and he didn’t

But won’t tell anyone about that

Dad jokes

Is one of the tallest teachers at Yuuei and gives Eri rides on his shoulders

Has been on Cloud Nine a few times for different things and is a fan favorite

Is the messenger between Snipe and Maijima when they need something

Can still lift a good amount of weight without the use of his quirk

Actually spends a good amount of time mentoring Class 1-B as well, but nobody besides Class B notices

Also gives body positivity seminars

Just Dance king

Sekijiro Kan // Vlad King

Can’t stand Monoma, but won’t expel him because he wants to prove he’s a better teacher than Aizawa

Also gives good relationship advice

Was the Maijima/Snipe messenger before Yagi joined the staff

As a kid, he got nauseous at the sight of blood

For Halloween he and Inui dressed up as Werewolves and Vampires respectfully

Is really supportive of his students when they go through hard times

Has parent teacher conferences once a month to keep parents in the loop

Also is like a dad to his students and sometimes even some of class A

Honestly just a sweet guy

Principal Nezu

Has an underground poker tournament every month

Teachers and Third Years participate

Is kinda scary when you first meet him, but everyone’s used to his bullshit by now

Writes fanfictions about his staff

Some rumors state that this is why Snipe and Maijima broke up

But nothing’s confirmed

Sits in on Kayama’s art classes to “observe students”

Actually is there to learn how to paint

Bob Ross is one of his icons

Ken Ishiyama // Cementoss

Subs for Yamada’s class sometimes

Has an All Might sweatshirt

But stopped wearing it around after Yagi joined the staff

Is the co-father of Inui’s Turtle

Loves to sit in the school library and just read by himself

Lunch Rush

Is a mentor for many students in all tracks of study

Also holds a cooking class everyday

Do. Not. Underestimate. His. Skills.

Is secretly a genius

Chiyo Shuzenji // Recovery Girl

Also is a mentor for many students

Has many student helpers in her office

Is one of the best medical professionals in Japan

Gotta love Nurse Mom

Has many Kamui Woods PEZ dispensers

Midoriya and Yagi are scared of her for obvious reasons, but none of the other people in Yuuei actually know why

When Enji Todoroki went to Yuuei, he burned himself with his quirk sometimes and Shuzenji got onto him about it like she does with Yagi and All Might

Has the respect and fear of most of the Heroing Society

Thirteen

Gender? What’s that?

Prefers she/her pronouns, but responds to all pronouns

When they first joined the Yuuei Staff, almost everyone used he/him pronouns and 13 never corrected them until a few months later

A Non-Binary Icon

Is close friends with Shuzenji and Ishiyama

They have a book club together

(sorry Gran Torino doesn’t make the list because he isn’t yuuei staff anymore)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[r-fenghuang-fanfiction]

We're all just super numb to the idea of 16 year olds having sex in film to be thirsted over by adults now, huh? This was a weird time to suddenly remember that. And it doesn't really matter how old the actors are, when the characters they're playing are supposed to be kids. I don't know how to articulate it properly, but I don't think that's the message I wanna send to actual kids or adults who are seeing these child characters as sexy. There's just something not quite right about it. And I get that it's supposed to be hightened reality, with absurdly rich people and murder and drama, but like... Damn. I don't understand how I, as an adult, am supposed to find incest and highschoolers fucking, sexy in any way. I also don't know what it says to actual highschoolers that they should dress and act like this. Is this why no one blinked when my middle school classmate got pregnant? Including me? Is this why kids at my school regularly drank and did drugs between classes? We were all scarred in one way or another, but shouldn't someone have taught us healthier ways of coping? Or at least taught us what functional relationships look like? 'Cause this ain't it. I'm all for adults being adults and doing drugs safely and exploring sex while knowing how to look out for themselves, but I don't know if I like blackmail and pressuring people into sex and framing someone for murder being painted as something we should aspire to or be numb to or forgive someone for, y'know? Like it's fine if you want the murder and the intrigue, but can we shoot it like it's awful and real and painful instead of shooting it like a glamorous music video? This is honestly why I stopped watching this show. Also, that the story of the Muslim family in the show is about how the parents are homophobic or too traditional. I get it, there are families, both Muslim and non-Muslim, all over the world that are super rigid and traditional, but it is also possible to have your culture and your faith and also be progressive. It does happen. There's nothing wrong with showing the ugly sides of people, but those can't be the only sides you show. Especially when you're dealing with a character that's a minority in your country.

Tl;dr : More diversity in both characters and storytelling, please. Also, can we stop sexualising kids and give kids better sex ed than condums on cucumbers? And not just in one show conveniently called : 'Sex Ed'. I mean in real life and across the board in entertainment.

[sxftnxcole]

Linas flashback of last summer:

Ed and lina were at a local park on a picnic date .

Lina:i cant believe you did this, you even have all my favorite foods.

Ed:it wasn’t easy so I think I deserve a kiss

Lina blushes:oh really

Ed leans in and kisses lina and they begin to makeout

Lina freaks out a bit and pushes him away:can we slow down a little

Ed looks at lina a bit disappointed:yeah iight sorry chicka I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable

Lina:you didn’t Im just not ready for that

Ed:clearly

Lina:oh shut up!

Ed laughs

Ed looks at lina lovingly

Lina:why are you looking at me like that

Ed:because your beautiful

Lina:stop you’re just saying that

Ed:nah I’m not just saying that because I’m your boyfriend stop tripping you are beautiful

Lina:well thanks and your very cute yourself

Lina looks at ed worried: i just hate that were sneaking around , im lying to my parents about you

Lina:they don’t know i have a boyfriend and...

Ed:Lina calm down, i hate lying too but we will figure it to together

Lina:they think I’m at Sarah’s house watching mean girls, I shouldn’t be lying to my parents

Ed:lina chill.

Ed:i havent seen you in a while, can we just have fun and not worry?

Lina:you’re right okay I’ll try to relax and have fun.

Ed:well i was suppose to give u something on our anniversary but i cant hold out

Lina:what? You got me something?

Ed:just a little something i saved up from my allowance

Ed reaches into his pocket and takes out a ring box

Lina: what is it?

Ed:just open it mami

Lina opens it and gasps:ed you really got this for me?

Ed:duh

Lina looks at it feeling overwhelmed: its beautiful You really didn’t have to do this

Ed:i wanted too though its my way of showing how special you are to me

Lina looks at ed in shock: I can’t believe you did this

Ed:try it on chicka see if it fits

Lina looks at the ring heistating

Lina:i feel bad I didn’t get you anything

Ed:you don’t have to get me anything lina

Ed holds her hand:i love you lina

Lina looks at ed:you love me?

Ed:i do.

There was an awkward silence

Ed looks at lina:so? I mean this is the part where you say you love me back

Lina looks at ed scared: i just... don’t know if i do right now

Lina:saying that is a huge deal I don’t think I’m ready

Ed looks at Lina disappointed.

Ed:oh

Lina:please dont be mad

Ed:Im not mad at you, I’m mad at myself for saying it

Ed:i guess its too soon

Lina:well for me it is but you don’t have to be mad at yourself for saying it

Lina: i just

Ed:you don’t have to explain yourself mami

Lina:but i feel like i should

Ed:nah its whatever

Lina:it’s not whatever ed

Lina:i love this ring alot and i do care about you

Lina:but I’m only thirteen half the time I can’t even decide what color to paint my nails

Ed:what are you talking about?

Lina:Im still a kid and I’m still learning how all of this works , you just have to be patient with me

Ed:patient? Lina we knew each other since we were babies and we been dating since the sixth grade how much more time do you need?

Lina:I dont know ed

Ed:you won’t even makeout with me

Lina:are you serious right now?

Ed:yeah chicka i am anytime i touch you or kiss you you literally push me

Lina:because i know what it could lead too

Ed:save the excuses iight

Lina: don’t be mad ed

Ed:Im not mad but this is getting annoying chicka sometimes you be doing too much

Lina:Im doing too much? How?

Ed:I dont know maybe we should just break up and be friends.

Lina:you’re joking? You give me a promise ring and then you dump me?

Ed:i guess so

Lina:why are you being such a jerk right now, I don’t want to break up with you.

Ed:its whatever mami

Lina:ed please don’t do this

Ed looks at lina upset

Lina:i didn’t mean ...

Ed:look i don’t care

Ed:maybe this is how it should be

Lina:no its not how it should be

Ed starts packing up:i just need to clear my head

Lina:so you’re just going to leave me here?

Ed ignores lina and starts walking away his phone drops

Lina shouts:ed !!! Stop!!!

Ed ignores her

Suddenly Lina hears a beep and looks down and sees eds phone

Its a text from a girl Emma

“ i had so much fun with you last night babe xoxo “.

Lina looks at the text in shock

She angrily grabs his phone

And chases after him

Lina catches up to him and grabs him: who is emma?!

Ed : what are you doing?

Lina:Whos emma?!

Lina holds up his phone

Lina:you told me you were at your grandparents house last night

Ed:i was

Lina:stop lying!

Ed:iight chicka i was at my grandmas that wasn’t a lie

Ed:but then i chilled with emma afterwards

Lina:who is emma?

Ed:Emma rodrigo

Lina looks at ed in disgust: you been hanging out with emma rodrigo?!

Ed:yeah it just sort of happened

Lina:and what did you do last night?

Ed:does it matter?

Lina: yeah i think it does!

Ed:we kinda had oral sex

Lina looks at ed horrified: I can’t believe you

Lina:what was the point of all of this today then

Lina:giving me this stupid ring?!

Lina throws it at him

Ed:babe julio threw a party i was high I wasn’t myself

Lina:i dont care! You cant take back what you did!

Lina:i trusted you!

Lina:and getting high? Really? The ed i know would never do that

Lina:my god who are you and how can you cheat on me?!

Ed:i swear it was a mistake

Lina:you gave me this ring because you felt guilty you told me you loved me out of guilt!!!

Ed:no chicka i swear i do love you!

Lina:you know what I’m glad we’re broken up!

Ed:lina can i explain

Lina:Theres nothing left to explain how can you even do something like that

Lina:you’re only 13!

Ed:not everyone is like you lina!

Lina: you know what I’m going home and don’t even try to call me

Lina:Im done with this

Lina: i really hope she was worth it

Ed:chicka shes not it was just a one time thing

Lina:whatever bye ed

Lina storms away

Ed:lina!!!

[notyourmamasoc]

Maximum Ride Was a Book Series That Should Have Been a Trilogy, in this essay I will...

...justify my anger with the later books, along with discuss topics and personal gripes/what I would have done to make it better. 

First things first. I will be bringing up my general gripes with the books appear in the first book. Specifically, the way situations were handled. For example, TAE, there is, in all honesty, not much to do with the name. The first half of the book, includes them trying to rescue Angel, but very little focuses on Angel, so much as every one around her. The second half has pretty much jack shit to do with the title. 

On extension of that, the of whole second book, Schools Out-Forever, very little had to do with school or Anne Walker’s house. Not only that, but what we have is poorly handled. Max and Fang are the oldest and, thus, parents to the others. Everyone should be both much more hesitant with Anne and far more nervous about school

My third thing is lack of focus on appearances. These are kids who should have multitudes of physical and emotional scars. Show that. Shit, man, they’re not human. Show me kids who are scared of tight spaces, and nervous around dogs, and have all sorts of weird scars on their faces and hands and feathers decorating the tops of their shoulders and their necks. They’re a new thing. Don’t let me forget that.

My next gripe is an extension of that. Please give me something of a defined character description, so as to not surprise me when Iggy’s redhead. 

Another complaint is the abilities. In general, leave it at flight, the strength needed for that, and senses (because they were built to be weaponry). It’s less complicated.

Finally, before we get into the point of this, Gazzy’s name. I don’t care who you are, or how bad that kid’s farts smell, “Gasman” is a horrible and dehumanizing name. You suck. 

Alright. Now all my preamble bullshit is out of the way, lets get down to business.

TFW. It sucks. It’s unnecessary. When I first read the series the only book I read after was MRF. I was fine. To say anything on it, all of the kids, aside from Max, develop abilities that are never spoken of again. Aside from Total growing wings, almost none of TFW is in anyway talked about again. What was the point, aside from promoting an environmental message (not a bad thing)?

Max. Oh, good Lord, the airshows, Dr. M, gets kidnapped, the Navy, the weirdo creatures in the sea... If I had been introduced to the book series now through this book rather than when I was nine, I would have lost interest. What a load of bullshit. Dr. Brigid Dwyer being evil and presumably dropping off the face of the Earth. Fuck off. By the way, did you notice how silly Nudge is painted for wanting something totally reasonable?

Fang. They start off doing charity. Fine. But there are so many things that are just never explained. Like the little girl being evil, or the people disappearing. Or Angel being prophetic. Also we meet the final villain here. Also I think this is the book where we find out Dr. Chew is a lizard boy. Named Robert. Who never gets brought up again. But, hey, forced love triangle. And splitting up twice, despite having previously agreed not to do that. Twice.

Angel. I’ve read this one the least, but Dylan is uncharacteristically an ass. And I love Kate, Star, Holden, Maya, and Ratchet, but Fang’s Gang is bullshit. Fact. And there’s something to do with Paris, yadda yadda, Angel’s dead but not really. Honestly it’s hard to keep track of who’s died and who hasn’t. And there is some more forced love triangle going on. 

Nevermore. Ari’s not dead and no one’s surprised. Maya dies. Fang rejoins the Flock. They get Angel back. Dylan’s dead but not really. And they have an island now. And we end with them sorta drowning. And Angel’s the Voice. 

Maximum Ride-Forever. There is no timeframe. Every death involved is either shock value and, aside from two cases, repaired, or to tie up loose ends. We get no context for how Angel can do anything (telepathy, reading the future). They split up again. 

The Phoenix plotline gets a paragraph to itself. It’s not hard to imagine Max and Fang having kids together, especially if their relationship is handled right. It’s also not hard to guess that those to have little enough sex ed to get pregnant, after people who are far more experienced also have slippups like that, that result is pregnancy. Give me more fear. She’s fifteen and pregnant and thinks the father of her baby is dead. In an apocalypse, no less. Give me that. There was no emotion attached, beyond brief snippets. I call bullshit. The current way it is written doesn’t read really emotional enough, and you have to handle things right. Also beyond Max and Angel talking briefly, Max expresses no real doubt. I’m around Max’s age and I babysit plenty, I would be fucking terrified if I got pregnant. There needs to be so much more fear and worry. 

I’ll write up a post later about my opinions on the way Fax should have been handled to make it not creepy.

[oqpromptparty]

Hi everyone! If you’d like to take part in this year’s Prompt Party Week, just select any of the prompts from the list below and write a fic, make a video or create some art based on it. Please note that more than one person may choose the same prompt.

You may submit new stories or include the prompts in any of your existing verses (though all your entries must be posted for the first time during Prompt Party Week).

Art/Video makers may use any of the prompts, but there are some Art/Video specific ones at the bottom of the post.

I have condensed some of the prompts that were a little too long and removed some that felt repetitive or have been sent before… feel free to take some liberties with some of the more specific prompts!

If you have any questions, please tweet @OQPromptParty

OQ Prompt Party week will run from 27th May - 2nd June 2019. Please don’t post anything until then.

Prizes:

Everyone who posts a prompt for all seven days of the OQ Prompt Party week will be sent a limited edition, one of a kind Outlaw Queen button/badge. These will never be available again, so don’t miss out!

Each day there will also be the opportunity to win another prize. You will be entered into a prize draw and the more prompts you write, the more times your name will be entered into the draw. I will announce which prizes will be available on each day soon.

There will also be a separate prize for most prompts included in a single one-shot/chapter (crack!fic encouraged).

And now! Without further ado, here are your prompts:

Lonely Robin paints/sculpts a picture of the woman of his dreams and she comes to life.

Roland’s first lost tooth.

“Sorry I thought you were someone else.”

Regina has scars from surviving a fire and thinks nobody can love her, Robin proves her wrong.

Roadtrip AU: Regina and Robin go to DisneyWorld for the first time and take Henry and Roland

Regina is the (little) sister of Robin's over-protective best friend.

One (or both of them) is in a coma, and they keep meeting in their dreams.

The first time Roland calls Regina "Mama"

Fighting Wolves.

A positive resolution or a rewrite of the baby storyline - Robin isn't the father / Regina is the mother.

Robin and Regina pick up a stranger at a bar and have some fun

Henry, Robin and Roland play Mario Kart

Regina over-hears someone talking about Robin in a language he doesn't know and she defends him.

Robin meets Daniel or Regina meets real Marian.

Regina and Robin are professors at the same university, enemy-to-lovers

OQ AU in a Love+Death+Robots scenario.

Enchanted AU: Regina finds herself trapped in the real world, New York City and finds something unexpected: a happy ending.

Regina asking for something she considers weird in bed

Modern AU: Regina is a witch and when Robin discovers it accidentally, his reaction surprises her.

Makeup sex

Regina’s new obsession is bubble tea, Robin just thinks it’s weird

Regina and Robin in a cooking competition.

Season 6 AU: Robin goes to the Wish!Realm with Regina and they both meet their Wish!versions.

MCU AU: Either Robin or Regina gets taken in the Thanos snap. Bonus points if you also wipe out one or more of the kids for maximum angst.

Robin, Regina and the boys in an escape room.

A little private time in Camelot.

Robin is a warlock who cast the first curse, and Regina is an archer who steals from the rich to give to the poor.

Ella Enchanted AU

Robin leaves after he feels betrayed

Summer vacation

Quiet times near the fireplace.

The Princess Diaries 1 and 2 AU

"Only You" AU

One of them gets injured and the other has to take care of them.

Robin and wishHook have to plan a part of Robin & Alice’s wedding (bonus points for a crack fic).

Spilled wine/coffee.

Robin & Regina are expecting twins.

Regina as a sex therapist.

Regina is thrown from her horse, Robin is the one who helps her.

Confessions of a Shopaholic AU: but Regina/or Robin is a hoarder of books instead of clothes.

Atlantis.

Accidental magical body swap

Bedsharing

Good Girls AU - Robin as a stay home dad, Regina as a criminal

Robin is custodian of a cemetery and meets Regina when she buries Daniel and keep meeting as she mourns.

Regina didn’t realize marrying Robin meant that she’d also be getting custody of all the Merry Men

The Sound of Music AU

One of them falling (any kind of fall), the other helping

Person A almost losing a loved one and person B tries to comfort them.

Inspiration from Pet Sematary - Regina or Robin dies and the other buries them in a place that happens to be cursed so that those buried there are resurrected. Regina or Robin is resurrected but are soon to be revealed as being darker and more sinister than they were.

Henry’s graduation.

Letters

Fic based on “Die From A Broken Heart” by Maddie and Tae. Robin and Regina have a massive fight after he shows up wasted with a few buddies... he walks out on her and slams the door behind him and she runs to her mom for comfort. By the end Robin comes to apologize and slowly win her back. AU (Cora is the good guy)

AU - Robin attends a convention with Henry and Roland.

Robin catches Regina full on dancing around in the kitchen while making dinner.

Pregnancy horniness.

Lost AU.

Roland's bedtime routine is exhausting.

OQ wedding + Robin carries Regina bridal style into their house.

Season 7 AU: Roni takes in a stray fox who turns out to be Robin.

Starting a new relationship after having slept together.

Stuck on a crowded train.

Regina and Robin visit New York City.

Regina hates celebrating her birthday, but Robin finds out and does something special for her.

Hiking in the woods.

Regina as a female knight and Robin as her Squire.

Robin and Regina are in Regina’s vault and Robin accidentally knocks over a potion, turning Regina into an animal.

“I didn’t know you speak…”

OQ get arrested for public sex

Grown up, Robyn meets grown-up Roland in the Enchanted Forest.

Regina and Robin take a walk on the beach at sundown.

Chaperoning Roland's first date.

Robin makes Regina a romantic meal and it doesn’t go to plan.

Person A pretends to be alright on their own but they finally accept they want Person B's company.

Regina shares an unusual fear.

OQ falling asleep on the sofa together.

San Junipero AU: Robin and Regina meet through a simulation meant for older people to live freely as their young selves once more.

Edible body paints.

Robin disguised as a priest and seeks shelter at a monastery where he meets novice Regina.

Henry and Roland plan something special for OQ's anniversary

OQ + war

First curse AU: Robin comes to Storybrooke with everyone, he and Regina meet and he instantly falls for her, but she tries to pretend she doesn’t care or isn’t affected by his charms, but fails miserably.

An "accidental" kiss.

He’s in for robbery. She’s in for murder. A prison romance blossoms when Robin Locksley notices a quiet inmate across the fence on her daily one hour out on the yard.

Robin at Regina's coronation.

Leo causes trouble for OQ

Missing year + a spell of kindness

DOQ CAOS AU: Mal & Regina as Hilda & Zelda who both fall for the Human Robin

Regina gets a happy ending massage from Robin.

Robin dealing with ED issues (temporary or permanent)

Robin surprises Regina with a puppy/cat as a birthday gift.

Every day, Regina takes her beloved sheltie to the same local dog park. And every day, she sees the same handsome blue-eyed blonde entertaining his adorable little corgi. Perhaps some day, she’ll muster the courage to say hi. Perhaps one day, it’ll not be her, but the dogs that will decide.

How to Train Your Dragon AU

AU: As a kid/teen/young adult, Person A was kidnapped. Years pass but Person A's family still hasn't lost hope and are still looking for them. Eventually the family hires Person B, the best detective in the country to find Person A and bring them home.

Regina meets Robin’s parents.

Party

Robin Locksley is the lead actor on a fantasy TV show “Happily Ever After.” Regina Mills is the typical troubled Hollywood ‘queen’ whose been cast as Robin’s new love interest only because the producers need a big name to bring in ratings and Regina needs a way to fix her reputation. They might play lovers on screen but off screen they can’t stand each other. Until they get to know one another; then real life most definitely begins to reflect fantasy...

Henry seeks Robin's advice on a very important matter

The Merry Men accept Regina into their group.

Regina is Roland’s therapist - he gets bullied at school and Robin and Regina end up liking one another.

Labrador puppies!

Regina works at an animal shelter, Robin and Roland want to adopt a dog.

A day at the beach.

Robin comes back when Robyn is 8 to find his daughter is a spoiled brat, Little John and Regina split up his children,  Hook got to come back before him and Regina split her soul.

Regina and Robin are surprised to find that Roland has magic.

A (magical) circus visits Storybrooke.

“It’s the reason why we broke up in the first place.”

“I thought you were gay.”

Sharing body heat to stay alive.

Roland is secretly Regina’s biological child.

Gender Swap version of their story. Robin is the struggling to reform Evil King. Regina is the leader of the Merry Men.

OQ/Stargate crossover.

Robin spends a whole day with Henry while Regina spends it with Roland.

“I just want to see you smile”

Visiting a castle in present day.

Bandit!OQ - one gets captured/caught, the other has to save them

OQ modern world AU with no magic.

Season 7 AU: Regina meets Robin in EF2 but he doesn’t remember her.

Robin and Regina go to John’s farm with little Roland who becomes obsessed with a little piglet named Wilbur and spider named charlotte and Regina can’t stand the farm life and has a panic every time she dresses up Roland only to have him get his clothes full of mud- can be modern AU.

Robin gives Regina a ring.

Secret relationship AU.

Stalker.

Robin consoles Regina after one of their kids yells "you're not my real mom."

North of the Wall.

Robin catches Regina doing something awful.

Regina and Robin as a king and a queen of separate kingdoms who fall in love (and unite their kingdoms).

DOQ on vacation.

Lion King AU: While hunting far to find food, Regina reunites with Robin, her childhood friend and betrothed, after years of thinking him dead when his father, the King, was mysteriously killed.

Accidental spell that makes Robin and/or Regina lustful.

Going shopping.

Storybrooke Community Theatre is putting on ‘Snow White & the Seven Dwarves’ and Regina gets cast as Snow White while Robin gets cast as Prince Charming.

"My little sibling has been talking about his/her new friend for a while now but I always thought you were an imaginary friend or something but holy shit you are definitely not imaginary (for real how are you so hot???)"

Regina forms a friendship with Little John.

Monster in the closet.

Dark!OQ's wedding.

Fake relationship AU.

Robin & Regina in a Jaime & Brienne-type relationship (pref minus the incest backstory)

OQ meet again after a long time like on this Nescafé Gold advert: https://youtu.be/jZtEXMBbaZg

Byzantine empire or Ottoman empire AU.

DOQ Roland calls Mal mom.

Three Wishes.

Robin doesn’t reach Regina in time. The crystal hits her but instead of killing Regina, it kills their unborn child.

Mother’s day/Father’s day.

Fic based on the movie “Moonstruck”.

Enchanted Forest AU: Person A is a member of the royal family. An assassination destroys their family, but Person A manages to escape and is believed to be dead. Person A finds out that their power-hungry relative (Person C) was behind the attack and wanted the throne for themself. While on the run, Person A meets Person B, who invites A to their camp. After finding out A's true identity, B and his/her friends agree to help A to stop Person C's tyranny so A can be crowned as the rightful king/queen.

Regina’s past haunts her.

Robin is known as the Vicious King whose first love Marian was murdered because his step son David couldn’t keep a secret. Tinkerbell leads Robin to his soulmate, a beautiful brown eyed peasant woman with a feather tattoo.

Game of Thrones final season watch party.

Robin, Roland and Robyn are incredibly poor, borderline homeless, Regina is the CPS caseworker assigned to investigate them.

A mysterious stranger appears in Hyperion heights, no one knows who he is, but he has a gorgeous voice and he sings at Roni’s bar every Friday, and then rides off on a motorcycle.

After Regina brings Robin back she has a problem letting him go even for a second to the point where it becomes a problem.

Robin is a cop who goes undercover in a deadly dangerous motorcycle club, Regina is the president’s old lady.

Robins soul wasn’t obliterated, but instead was sent to the worst part of Hell as punishment for loving the Evil Queen and Regina just found out.

Robin & Regina get into a fight and have near death experience and angsty make up sex after (canon).

Robin the handyman.

Hunchback of Notre Dame AU.

Regina and Robin are actors on the same Broadway show.

The occupants of Misthaven discover a new land full of murder, betrayal and deaths, a land where the dead walk, a land called Westeros.

Robin and Regina’s daughter’s first prom.

Road trip.

Robin watches Regina and their kids from heaven as they continue with their lives (canon or AU).

Regina talks to Robin for the first time.

Regina accidentally hurts Robin with her magic.

DP with Robin, David & Regina.

Regina and Robin discuss moving into the woods when the last kid is preparing to leave the nest.

The Durrells AU.

Robin isn’t dead when Regina splits herself in two.

OQ stranded on an island.

“Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking but my smile still stays on.”

Robin cooking in Regina's kitchen for the first time.

Regina dealing with menopause.

Robin finds out Nottingham & Regina dated (or he finds out that Cora tried to hook them up in the ‘Mother’ ep).

Robin and Regina want to adopt a baby.

DOQ and quirks of living together.

Kissing Booth AU.

“Your curse is to remember.” Robin, who remembers everything, is in Hyperion Heights while Henry, Roland, Robin and Regina, who’s with Facilier, have no idea who he is.

AU: OQ as teenagers/young adults

Robin detests Snow more than Regina does.

Regina proposes to Robin.

“Robyn is eloping with the daughter of a pirate and a nature goddess, Roland is having an affair with a married princess, Henry’s mother in law is threatening to kill everyone and you still want to have a party?”

“I know you care for her, Regina, but I don’t want Zelena around my son.”

Robin and Regina join Twitter and find themselves involved in a fangirl argument over Henry’s ‘Once Upon a Time’ book.

Evil Queen introduces Wish!Robin to Roland or Robin.

Robin travels back in time with Hook & Emma.

Regina and Robin are neighbors who can't stand each other.

“You kissed Snow?!”

Beetlejuice AU: Robin and Regina are both dead and haunt a house with one another whilst trying to find a way to move on together.

Fireworks.

Regina is betrothed to a pompous son of some Lord who lives out near Sherwood Forest that she’s never met before in her life. Robin’s future intended is the spoiled daughter of Princess Cora and Prince Henry who he never even laid eyes on. But how could Regina ever love the man she was supposed to marry when she’s fallen so hard for the forest smelling peasant she met in a tavern? Not to mention how could Robin ever hope to care for some princess when he’s head over heels in love with a brown eyed peasant woman whose smile he sees every time he closes his eyes?

Robin loses his memories, Regina must make him fall in love with her again.

Perfect Date AU (Netflix)

DOQ find out they share a soulmate bond

Waitress AU

Jurassic Park/World AU

Nashville

“If i’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have...”

The original meaning behind the lion tattoo

Lost in time

Henry and Roland have a fight

Both Robin & Regina are hot tempered. 

Video Prompts

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith

Pretty Woman

Loving Can Hurt

This is Me

Season 1/2/3/4/5/6/7 AU

Fight song

“Tishbite” by Cocteau Twins

Any classical music

“Don’t Treat Me Bad” - Firehouse

“Paradise” - George Ezra

“Walk Me Home” - Pink

“Here We Go” - Wild

Up Town Girl

Any song from a Disney animated movie

“Shallow” - Lady Gaga

“I’ll Be There” - Jess Glynne

Art Prompts

Historical AU

Angels & Demons

Art a favourite fic

Sunset

Rainbow

Comfort

Anniversary

The 90s

Comic book

Sherwood forest

Fire

Trouble

Romance

Hero

[wendydarling823]

How to fix public education?

The reason for the question mark is 2-fold

1) I want to know other people’s ideas and theories.  I can’t get enough of articles of teachers who have left the profession pre-retirement because they have snapped under the weight of the problems in our schools.  These are the people that know what’s wrong because we are in those trenches every day.  Don’t ask a superintendent or a SBoE rep how to fix schools - they’re the ones doing the breaking.  Ask the teachers.

2) My ideas are only based off of what I’ve seen and read.  I’ve taught in public school for 4 years.  I’ve worked in public schools for 10 years.  I’ve worked with children for 16 years.  I know a lot, but obviously I don’t know everything.

So, how do we fix education?  Longest freaking post I’ve ever written.

1) Spend money, obviously.  But what the money goes for has to be taken into consideration.  You don’t need to fund a program for high schools to have a 1:1 Chromebook to student ratio - these kids are carrying computers in their pockets.  You don’t need to spend thousands on a boxed curriculum unless your teachers have tried it and specifically ask for it because they believe it will help the students they have in front of them.  You don’t need to hire a superintendent for each high school feeder zone AND a district superintendent, plus 20 other administrators in between and off to the sides.  So what should the money go for?

A) Teachers.  

i) Reduce class sizes hire more teachers so teachers have fewer kids in a class at a time.  When your child is struggling to learn, do you put them in a class with 20 other kids?  No, you pay for one-on-one or at least small group support.  At the very least, there should be more teacher’s aides.  Hell, student teaching should be a paid internship when that teacher is in my room every day.    

ii) Pay teachers more.  We have a college degree, often advanced degrees, we are constantly earning more hours of professional development and honing our craft (because it is a craft) but we are being paid like (paid) interns or apprentices.  Compared to other jobs with commensurate degrees and experience, we are paid nearly 20% less.  And we pour our money right back into our jobs to buy things we want/need to make our classrooms comfortable, effective, and fun for ourselves and our kids.

B) Books.  I started to type “and supplies” and then I realized that books are a category of their own.  What determines a child’s success later in life more than any other factor?  Number of books in the home, and whether parents read to them.  We can’t barge into houses armed with books and force parents to sit at their kids’ besides and do the voices for the characters.  But we can do that for them at school - we can make libraries into palaces, we can work with the city library to get a bookmobile that visits every neighborhood zoned for our schools and we can gift books to children that they can keep forever.  Hell, Dolly Parton will send your child 60 books (1X a month every month until they are 5), we can do that.

C) Supplies.  Paper.  Pencils.  Manipulatives. Markers, paint, glue, scissors.  The basic supplies of an art room for the purpose of giving every student the opportunity to CREATE.  A dedicated closet or cart of everyday items that students can view with new eyes.  Is that a Q-tip for cleaning out your ears?  Or is it a bunch of bones you can use to recreate the skeleton of that stegosaurus you read about in your book?  The supplies for the creation of writing, the creation of art, the free space to work out a math problem and show every step of your thinking.  Some schools have so much they waste it, other schools don’t have enough.

D) Technology*  The star is because the current model is ‘technology for technology’s sake,’ and that’s wasteful and also reductive.  These kids have phones and tablets, they are digital natives.  They know how to use computers for writing, computation, research, slideshows, video production.  Show them what else they can do!  Teach them to design. To compose music, to edit and add effects.  Yes, let them learn to code if they want to, but don’t force it.  A friend of mine wrote a grant to get a 3D printer in her school, and she got it, but not a single other teacher was interested in learning how to use it so they could teach their kids.  Spend the tech money on things that will prepare students for the real jobs of the future.

2) When you spend the money, spend it fairly.  Not equally, fairly, justly.  My school district is decently sized.  Theoretically, every person who owns property zoned for our district is paying their tax dollars into a single fund that is being spent per student, right?  But even inside our district limits there are schools so poor the teachers don’t even have a supply closet of basics (I’m talking printer paper, staples, paperclips) and schools so rich the teachers get $400 to spend on their classrooms.  Why?  Because the poor school is in the part of town that is mostly low income, and the rich school is in a master-planned community that gets money from the HOA foundation and has a PTA that can do the old “Spend money to make money” method of fundraising.  It’s funny, because the poor school is poor enough to get extra money because they are poor (Title I), but it’s still not as much as the rich school is getting. 

3) RESPECT. YOUR. TEACHERS.  Sure, paying them, making their classes smaller, and giving them the tools they need is a big part of respecting them, but there are other components.  

A) Respect a teacher who says that a student is creating a bad environment, even if that student has a behavior plan.  We’ve pushed the LRE (least restrictive environment) for a couple of decades now, and for the most part it is a very important thing to honor.  Kids who point and gawk a at a student in a wheelchair or with leg braces or who has Downs or CP are kids who’ve been taught to view that population as “other”.  They should have kids of all abilities in their classrooms to foster community and empathy, and because all should be welcome to the table of education.  However, when a student is able to terrorize a classroom, physically injure or attack a teacher or another student, and get off with little more than some isolation in the office, and then appear back in class the next day, you’ve created a restricting environment for the other 19 kids, and the teacher.  The teacher is walking on eggshells so the student doesn’t throw a chair or shove another student, and boundaries are not set or enforced.  The students hold their breath each time this child speaks, wondering if this is the point where they have to have class in the hallway while their peer turns all the desks over and makes it rain crayons. 

B) Respect a teacher who says that not every part of this curriculum is appropriate, and fills in the gaps with things that are.  Tina Fey says, “In most cases, being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.” You ostensibly hired that teacher because they demonstrated an ability to understand and teach the standards, manage a classroom, make learning accessible, whatever it is that they bring to the table. Lessons in a box are a product sold to make money for someone.  They can be an ingredient in a recipe, they are not the only thing you serve or the only store you shop at.  Respect a teacher who knows from experience and backs it up with research.  You will not teach every 5-6 year old how to read right away.  Some are just not ready yet. Not every student develops the same way at the same time, so why would they learn the same way at the same time? And why, when the studies show that early childhood is birth through age 8, would you expect Kindergarten kids to sit at a desk all day reading and writing?  They should be learning through play.  Respect a teacher who wants to introduce more banned/challenged books to her literature circles.  Respect a teacher who challenges the set curriculum when they know it is what’s best for their kids, and FOR PETE’S SAKE ask the teachers who are STILL. IN. THE. CLASSROOMS. for their input in adopting curriculum standards. If I had my way, any person who makes decisions regarding schools, whether it’s a principal, a superintendent, or a member of the SBoE would have to re-enter the classroom every 10 years.  Sort of like recertifying.  They want to issue rulings and set standards?  They better know what that’s going to look like on the most micro level.  Once a year, every decade, they must teach a class or a section of a subject  in order to keep being in charge of making decisions.

C) Respect a teacher against a parent. You don’t work in customer service, you don’t owe it to the parent to bend over backwards to make them happy.  When mama bear comes roaring using the “B” word (bullying), ask them to sit down with the teacher and make it clear that you trust the teacher and her handling of the situation. When you do have to intervene, make sure that teacher knows you have their back.

4) Shift the entire cultural narrative to valuing education and educated people, build schools that are places of value to a community (and hey, the school can be a community center after hours, so long as classroom hallways are locked up).  Public school is not just a babysitter for your kids until they turn 18, it should be treated as their job and their responsibility.  It should be able to teach them things they will really need - social skills, survival skills, basic home economics, finance, SEX ED and actual health.  It should offer creative outlets for everyone - art, music, theater, dance, woodworking, metal shop.  Learning should be given as a right but revered as a privilege.  That starts with all of us right now.    

[saleintothe90s]

384. “Mad About You” series finale (5/24/1999)

(source)

So, I remember watching the series finale of Mad About You that night, but I haven’t watched it again since it originally aired. I do remember feeling let down at the end however. This is what I remember from 20 years ago, maybe I’ll remember some forgotten details once I re watch it...which I will after I make this list: 

- Janeane Garofolo was Paul & Jamie’s daughter Mabel all grown up and she had come out with a documentary about her life? Her dad’s life? The film was everything after 1999?

-Paul & Jamie bought the apartment across from them and merged it into theirs? Which didn’t make any sense. Everybody had to walk through P&J’s bedroom to get to the expansion?

-Paul & Jamie were pregnant again with twins but she lost the babies? I just remember the scene where Paul rushes into the apartment with a double stroller excited that he found one. He sees the message light on the answering machine and it’s Jamie. I was trying to figure out if this was early on when Mabel was still a one year old, and one seat in the stroller was for her, or Jamie was pregnant with twins. 

-Paul’s dad died real early on in the episode. 

-Paul and Jamie wonder who should give her the birds and the bees talk when Mabel is a teenager, but turns out they waited too long. When Paul sits down with her to discuss it, she interrupts him and says that she’s already had sex, or she was already on the pill. Paul decides to take Mabel out for bagels every Saturday morning so he can remain closer to her. I just remember them eating bagels and sitting on a stoop. 

- Paul and Jamie separate for realz this time. Remember when they temporarily separated but then got back together and Jamie got pregnant with Mabel?  

[That episode is titled “The Finale”, please don’t confuse it for this one like I almost did. In case you’re wondering about my bitmoji dressed like a snail, our power went on and off the entire time I was writing this. I went ahead and used that save video me website so I could watch the clips offline.] 

- Jamie had become really cold at that point in her life and Paul had it. 

-The last scene was everybody watching Mabel’s documentary in a movie theater and P&J were a little embarrassed. Paul (almost crying) asks Jamie if she would like to go out for pie.

-Clearly they hadn’t shot enough because the last five minutes were “home movies” of the two and Mabel in central park. The montage seemed to last for-ever. 

-Before I re-watch, I also wanted to mention that I hate the theme song! 

I found the episode on DailyMotion, and the username of the uploader is “Magic School Bus” ... ms. frizzle is that you?  It also appears that Ms. Frizzle recorded this episode from syndication, so there might be a tiny scene or two missing. 

(part 1, part 2)

(Apparently it’s on the internet archive too, but it took forever to get the vid to play on my iPad. It has commercials though!) https://archive.org/details/MelrosePlaceHomeImprovementFinales1999 

So, Mabel’s film was titled “The reason why I am this way”. Maybe a grad school project?. Janeane looks grad school age here. 

The film starts with Paul & Jamie’s anniversary when Mabel was 1 in 1999. I was right!

A bird pooped on Paul! Nah, it was just Lyle Lovett the construction worker spilling paint. He married Jamie n Paul 7 years ago, but turns out he’s NOT an ordained minster, so they’re not officially married.  This is so dumb. Such a trope, right? 

Jamie is freaking out that they’re not really husband and wife. Paul is the rational one here, he says just go to city hall next week! Jamie is all “no, we gotta do it today, its our anniversary!”  So they go, there’s a chapel at city hall, there’s a lady named Phyllis there as a witness and who throws rice (25¢ a throw!)  

Stupidly, however, Jamie runs away. I do remember this freeze frame from the episode.

There’s lots of jumping around through time while all this is going on, I forgot about that, I just thought it was a straight up timeline.

We jump to 2005 where P&J are in therapy for the thousandth time, also when Paul goes in for a vasectomy. At first, I didn’t realize that Jamie was talking to her sister, Lisa in the waiting room since she had short hair. Jamie tries to explain to her that Mabel doesn’t need a sister, but Lisa guilt trips her. Jamie tells Paul that she thinks they made a mistake. They Michael Scott-eded it:

It’s 2011 and P&J are trying to give 11 year old Mabel the sex talk.

In 2004 Murray (remember, the dog? Yeah, the dog got forgotten somewhere in the series) got a girlfriend and they had puppies!  There is the best scene ever where Paul teaches Mabel how to shoot video and Nat the dog walker (played by Helen Hunt’s then husband, Hank Azaria) does a play talk show with the puppies. IT’S TOO CUTE, I put it on instagram. I forgot that Hank was on the show. I still remember how heartbroken I was though when Hank and Helen broke up, though.

There’s a real quick scene in the sports shop that Paul’s family owns (which I forgot about in the series). Jeff Garlin (who I like to call “Daddy Goldberg” since I love him on The Goldbergs) is teasing Paul for all his vasectomies. blah blah. You know what I noticed? That old Sketchers shoebox! Those ugly chunky metallic shoes they made in ’95 ’96 used to come in those boxes.  aw. ugliest shoes I ever had, they were most def. Airwalk Jim knockoffs. ANYWAY.

Mabel’s first film “Stabbing Bob” comes out in late 2021 when she’s 23. The whole family is there, including Cyndi Lauper who married Paul’s brother  cousin Ira. The whole family tries to get Paul and Jamie to sit together, so obviously something went DOWN between 2011 and 2021. This is when the syndicated version cuts off.

Part 2 begins again with Mabel’s documentary and her asking “Who do you think was responsible for my parents breakup? The one who ran away from the altar and changed her mind three times about whether or not her partner should have painful private surgery … or the other guy?” So when this film was made, Jamie and Paul were still broken up? Mabel is really tearing Jamie up a new one here. Jamie is the devil.

Back to 2005 and Jamie is pregnant, because Paul didn’t get that vasectomy. This is where everything is back on track with my memories of the episode. Except for those ugly ass pajamas. wow. Jamie is only supposed to be 42 here, the pajamas and glasses made her look 60.

2012, Mabel is 14 and she never did get that sex talk…perfect tribute to Whitney though, considering she had recently died.

Oh, no here comes the stroller scene in 2006. Paul is so happy, he says, “I found it! Last one in the city, and I found it! One big seat one little seat! 2 kids, one carriage! One big happy family. ” Uh, Mabel is 9.  The “one big seat, one little seat!”  makes me wonder if the writers forgot what year it was? Why would there be a big seat and a little seat?” Twins are the same size.  Those stroller seats look the same size. Paul finds a note left by Jamie, so it wasn’t an answering machine message.

In early 2021 we see Jamie’s bff Fran, FINALLY. I was wondering where Fran was! She was married to Richard Kind and he left her so he could ride motorcycles like “Easy Rider”, (remember when Fran kept calling the movie “The Easy Rider” and it drove Richard crazy, he was like, “the name of the movie is EASY RIDER, NOT ‘THE EASY RIDER!”). Riffs is somehow still open, martini glasses are taller, forks have clear spiral handles, and Fran be looking like something that walked off the Enterprise.  

Oh, and Paul left Jamie. Jamie now is wearing reading glasses around her neck. Oh, honey noo, you’re only 58.  Here is Helen Hunt in 2018:

Paul said that Jamie is unkind and that was why he was leaving.  

Aw, there’s my fozzie bear!

Costume and Makeup got Paul Reiser exactly right though!

After that, Paul & Jamie had to be straight with Mabel at all times. Ok, whatever:

 So I was also wrong about Paul’s died dying when Mabel was little.

On the way to the funeral, Paul’s mom encourages the two to pay a bribe so they can buy the apartment across the hall. She says, “Then Mabel can have a room.” …. Mabel didn’t have a room? She was 13 in the Murray’s not real scene. Where did she sleep?!  Now I remember thinking way back then that the episode left a lot of plot holes open, this being one!

I remember feeling kind of turned off by this elevator scene with the sad music after the funeral. I didn’t know the phrase back then, but now I know that it feels so forced. We get it. Paul’s mom is alone.

Casting didn’t do a good job with teenage Mabel, she’s supposed to be 18 in 2015 and it’s still the girl who played her when she was 12. w2g. I didn’t make a screen grab but I was right about Mabel having to cross her parents bedroom, and bathroom to get to her room. I was also right about the bagels! 

It’s back to the scene in late 2021 where everybody is watching the end of Mabel’s movie, “Stabbing Bob”.  I guess she was trying to be a lil Tarintino. Why did I think they were watching the documentary? Ha, at the end, Paul’s sister asks the family if they want to go out for pie. Yesss, the pie scene!

I did remember this from the pilot episode where Jamie kisses Paul on their first date when he turns to her. Jamie asks “buy me some pie?”, not Paul! I swore for 20 years I heard Paul Reiser tearfully saying, “I would like some pie” in my head!

Oh, one plot point that did get patched up was that Paul & Jamie asked the guy from city hall to come over and marry them in their apartment six seconds to midnight.

RIP, Murray the dog.

UGH, I was right about the long montage of the end that is just pretend home movies of the cast. It’s nearly four minutes long, and its set to country music. It’s hell.  I remember actually leaving the room during this part 20 years ago instead of just you know, muting the TV. It completely ruins the quietness of the episode. It’s total filler.

The ending credits are on Youtube, it’s adult Mabel giving a rundown of what happened to who.

Related:

More from the series finale series: https://saleintothe90s.tumblr.com/search/Series%20finale%20series

/edit/

I was curious and went hunting around in google groups (which houses newsgroup archives) to see what people said about it online right after it aired: 

Someone wondered too about where on earth Mabel slept until they expanded the apartment: 

>2)  Where did Mabel sleep before they got the second apartment and >turned it into a room? Shared with mommy and daddy?? Or maybe that little space before the bedroom.  Did they convert the appartments into one or move to the other side? I was a bit confused about that.

>>I wish I had watched Ally (but that's just my

>opinion).<<

Trust me, if you've watched the show at all this season, you've seen this episode.  Ally is depressed about no man, elaine whips out the video camera, the biscuit bobs his head to Barry White, does a gymnastic dismount from the toilet stall, stutters like Porky Pig, and all of the same fucking things he does every single fucking episode.  I really liked this show at first, but I'm about to give up on it because the same shit happens week after week after week.  If David Kelley cannot think of anything new to do with this show, he should hire a writing team, because it it going nowhere fast!

Brian

To know that Paul and Jamie's genes resulted in that shrewish frump Janeane Garofalo was one thing.  But to be "previewed" twenty years of their misery resulting in Mabel's therapy for bad parenting was pretty unbearable.

Crap.  Not quite as crap as the Rosanne finale, but more crap than the last

Seinfeld episode. I knew they were in trouble in the very first scene where

they set up the premise for the episode. Lyle Lovett tells them that he

wasn't really an ordained minister when he performed their wedding ceremony

and that he was drunk when he said he was. (now there's an original plot)

One problem: Lyle isn't the one who told them he was a minister and everyone

was sober at the time.

Then they have Jannene Garofolo as their grown up daughter, recounting everything thing that went wrong in their marriage, another lame plot device.

There're also a few little slips, like Paul buying a double baby carriage in 2005, when their daughter would be 8 or so.

But, to get to the root of why the episode (and the last two seasons for that matter) failed: The whole permise of the show was that these two likable, but occasionally goofy or even stupid, people were so much in love that they would always be together no matter what. Corny, naive, romantic, but also endearing. It made for a nice, comforting 4 seasons or so, but after a while the formula gets old. So they started making the characters a lot less likeable. Paul Reiser turned into Homer Simpson and Helen Hunt became a neurotic version of Lucy Ricardo, until I had no idea why these two people were staying together.

They got back to the original idea of the series in the last ten minutes, but it was too little, too late. In the previous 50 minutes, their whole marriage went to hell. Not only didn't those two people belong together, they didn't even seem to care about each other. They did something similar a few years back (marriage goes wrong, they still love each other and stay together) but it was convincing and they didn't do the gimmicky jumping back and forth over 25 years thing. That was the perfect moment to end the series.

I agree. I watched with the series finale of MAY with the morbid fascination that I would have while watching a car wreck.  I didn’t *want* to do it, but I was drawn to it.  And what a car wreck it was.

The plot of the finale should have insulted every thinking person.  Did anyone accept the premise that two sophisticated New Yorkers could believe they were legally married without having a marriage license and certificate?  For those of you who have never been married, you absolutely need such documentation for your bank accounts, health insurance, social security, credit cards, mortgages etc.   The retroactive vitiation of the Buchman’s marriage is akin to the Bobby’s dream sequence on Dallas a few years ago.

Jaime’s jilting of Paul at the “altar” was vapid.  Tim Conway’s gag in being both the marriage clerk and the justice of the peace was predictable, and as predictably stupid as Conway’s similar gags on the now ancient Carol Burnett show.  The pronunciation of “Buchman” to explain why Paul and Jaime had the same last name may have been amusing to a ten year old, but I doubt it was funny to anyone more mature.  A justice of the peace would not play the wedding march with a dime store cassette recorder while demanding that a prospective bride walk down the courtroom “aisle.”  Couldn’t they have done something interesting with the marriage witness instead of using a stock character such as the disinterested, magazine-reading rice-thrower?  From a legal standpoint, Paul and Jaime’s marriage at midnight was as ineffective as “first” marriage because there was no witness (contrary to the dialogue, a baby simply cannot be a legal witness to a marriage).  Why would a justice of the peace make a house call to perform a civil marriage?

The whole vasectomy gag was asinine.  Have either HH or PR been in a hosptial?  Did they do *any* research before they wrote this gag?  Its pretty safe to conclude that a surgical nurse would *not* lead a post- operative vasectomy patient through a waiting room while he was wearing nothing but a robe.  Moreover, given Paul’s obvious pain from the first vasectomy, don’t you think that Jaime would have known that Paul did not go through with the second one?  Wouldn’t Jaime have asked Paul if he went through with the vasectomy before she purchased and used a pregnancy test kit?  Jaime’s miscarriage was telegraphed from the beginning of the vasectomy gag.

The makeup aging of the characters was amateurish at best.  The sex talk difficulty with Mabel has been done by every sitcom since Leave It To Beaver, and most have done it better.  What was the point of the puppy urination scene?

The breakup and reconciliation was sentimental tripe.  In the real world, people that fight as much as Paul and Jaime do not get divorced and then, with one magic kiss, make everything OK.

Was it necessary to introduce a new character in the finale to narrate the Buchmans’ life story? (As an aside, I hated the casting of Janeane Garofolo (sp?).  She looked like complete crap.  Can’t that woman ever look presentable?  Someone should have given her a mirror and a comb before they began filming the episode.  She is a second rate Roseanne knock off, and, judging from last night’s appearance, she is now attempting to catch Roseanne in the weight department as well.)

The closing montage attempted to simulate a home movie circa 1960s such as that used in the Wonder Years.  But why would Paul and Jaime, a 1990s couple, have used such a medium for their home movies?  Also, even assuming the choice of medium was justified, why did they wave in quick, jerky movements at the movie camera?  Has anyone done that since the 1960s?

In the end analysis, the MAY finale was incredibly lame.  I got home in time to catch the end of the Melrose Place finale, and, IMO, even that show -- as bad as it is -- has more entertainment value than MAY.  At least they don’t take themselves seriously.  I am delighted that MAY is now over.  I hope that the poor ratings associated with the show will cause some retooling at NBC, especially in its high profile slots.

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[biggy-habes]

I gotta say...it was a good day

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to watch a boyhood idol perform live on stage. But before I get into all of that I first have to talk about how I was introduced to the artist O’Shea Jackson, better known as the legendary Ice Cube. 

 In elementary school I got my first taste of rap. I believe my first tape that I purchased was DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's sophomore album "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper".  After watching that crazy video "Parents Just Don't Understand" on MTV I begged my mother to take me to Spec's Music so that I could pick it out. My mom was in her weird Central Florida Christian phase and she was very weary of what I was listening to. She checked the back of the tape for the track listing and raised an eyebrow after seeing the song "Too Damn Hype". Oh, you cannot IMAGINE the look I got when my cousin got me Tone Loc's "Loc'ed After Dark" for Christmas. I was too young to know what was meant in the song "Cheeba Cheeba", but SHE SURE DID! In school I would hang out with the kids who were into hip hop. We would talk about the new albums that came out from Rob Base and Kid N' Play and Young MC. 

Now, this was in Lakeland, Florida so this was the extent of what kids in a predominately white rural town would know about rap. Then came Duke. Duke was one of the only black kids in our class, Shit, perhaps in the entire school. One day our class took a field trip and Duke brought his boom box. For those who were born AFTER the age of the boom box, also referred to as a ghetto blaster, it was this giant tape player with speakers that the old school rap heads would walk around on their shoulder. For a visual....

 he reached into the front pocket of his white overalls (one strap off and airbrushed to look like there were 20 dollar bills in the pocket…even in the 5th grade this kid's game was TIGHT) and pulled out a tape. And this was no ordinary tape. This was a tape that was so taboo that parents have been warned by the fucking POLICE to keep away from children. This was 2 Live Crew's "As Nasty As They Wanna Be". Every kid back then had heard stories about the song "Me So Horny". How it talks about sex and says all of the GOOD swear words like "dick" and "fuck". It was a major step up from the rare "damn" and "hell" of the ever-to-remain-clean Fresh Prince! After eating our lunch we had some free time to hang out so Duke started walking to a more secluded area with a gaggle of kids following him like he was the Pied Piper of Lakeland. He popped in the cassette and pushed play. Matthew Modine's proposition "What do we get for 10 dollars?" started me on what would open my mind to a completely different type of rap. The nasty, grimy, explicit side of rap. And it made me curious. And it made me giggle. And it wasn't just hearing a funny term that we would later clown about in our group. It was the flow of Brother Marquis and the grittiness of Luke. It was furious spinning and scratching of one of the most underrated disc jockies in rap, Mr. Mixx. The next day Duke brought me a dubbed version of 2 Live Crews' "Live in Concert". I would play it on my Walkman at night when I was supposed to be asleep. I learned every word to every line to every song on that tape. Holding on to a tape like this was fairly difficult with my mother, who was known to toss a room on a fairly regular occasion. I think eventually found it, but by then the damage had been done. The impression was left on my cortex.  

In the 7th grade my friend Jason had given me a dubbed tape of a rapper that I had never heard of before. It was "Death Certificate" by Ice Cube. He told me that I had to check out the song "Giving Up The Nappy Dugout". I had no clue what that was, but he said that it was fucking funny! So on my way home I took out, threw it in, and I gave it a listen. What I heard was nothing like the good time house party music that I was used to. This was hard. This was raw! There were no records scratching. There were no bass drops. It had the funk of the West Coast, but this was violent and angry. This was gangster rap. It talked about a landscape in a completely different part of the country. One that I could not possibly imagine. Riots. Crack. Gang wars. Hustling. But it also talked about racial injustice. It talked about politics. About freedom of speech and expression.  And where a lot of the rap from the east coast that I was used to would be an infusion of jazz and the blues, the west coast rap was filled with the rhythm and heavy bass lines of funk. Ice Cube took this and added his own brand of lyrical style to it. I don't really think Ice Cube gets the credit that he deserves for his lyrics . One essential element of rap is the telling of a story. To paint a picture of what is going on in your song. Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick were masters at the art of storytelling. They could take you through a day in the life of a character and send you on a wild adventure all in a matter of 3 minutes. Ice Cube was just as brilliant at telling his story. In "My Summer Vacation" he has you alongside him as he sets up a crack empire in St. Louis. "Once Upon A Time In The Projects" follows him as he picks up a girl in the projects of LA for a date and introduces each one of her family members to the listener. And no one will ever forget the song that became an iconic anthem, "It Was A Good Day". Ice Cube had a way of using his verbal artistry and aggressive style to show the listener what life was like in South Central (despite what he may have said while in NWA, he was not actually straight outta Compton). When John Singleton came out with "Boyz n the Hood", Ice Cube was a natural choice for the role of the gang banging Doughboy.

 That movie was basically a visualization of what Cube was rapping about in his songs. He will always be remembered for the Friday movies, which moved Ice Cube from South Central to Hollywood. And "Are We There Yet" made him a household name. Now why am I all over his jock? Because a couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to see him in concert a few weeks ago!  And that is where I will leave off for now. Tune in next time for an adventure to the New York State Fair with Ed and Haber!!!

[thehorrorofnachosandhamantaschen]

A Mist Minute: Episode 1 - Pilot

Sometimes we just don’t have the time to make a whole podcast episode about something like a TV show because they’re sooooo many episodes long and we’d need a million podcasts to cover them adequately. Who has time for a million episodes? Certainly not us! Just putting out 40 or so a year is killing us already and the sacrifices we’ve had to make in our personal lives are unmentionable. But every now and then there comes a TV show, nay, TV event, that we feel that we have to cover, especially when they relate to episodes we’ve covered already. I am of course talking about the new The Mist show, based off of the story by Stephen King (And 2007 Film) which we have definitively covered more extensively than anyone else on the internet ever and you can listen to HERE. So without further ado, the first of our “Minute” series, The Mist: Episode 1 - Pilot:

EPISODE ONE - PILOT

Military guy from The Arrowhead Project has amnesia, because of course he does, it’s TV, but I’m glad that they’re sticking with The Arrowhead Project and not making up something else goofy. Military guy gets his dog killed by something in the mist and then arrested for acting like a nut going on about mist.

A bunch of the gauntest actors around get up to adventures! Gaunt mom from The Vikings gets fired from school because she told kids about Blowey J’s! Gaunt daughter doesn’t like her gaunt mom because she won’t let her go to a football party! Gaunt daughter’s gaunt bisexual friend’s dad hates him because he wears make up! Gaunt drug addict lady kills a dude with a pitchfork, tries to dig up a bag of money from someone’s shed, get’s arrested!

Not so gaunt father tells gaunt daughter she can go to the football party behind gaunt mother’s back so long as she brings gaunt friend. Football players don’t like him due to him not just wanting to pound chicks because stereotypes are easy and everyone seems to treat sexuality like it’s the 80′s and not 2017. Maybe small town Maine is just super homophobic even today!

Well the lead up to this show talked about how much sexy sex was going to be in it, but what they didn’t tell you was that it was going to be the rape of a minor, ugh. And of course nobody but her parents believes gaunt daughter was raped by a football player, who is the son of a police officer! And of course the other football players throw rocks through the Gaunt’s house windows and spray paint whore outside the house! Any other cliches we can throw in here?

Frances Conroy is in this too! She’s so much better than the material provided and only made me wish they had cast her as Mrs. Carmody in the 2007 film. She notices a bunch of frogs and birds coming out of the woods and goes to the library to read about the “Black Spring” of 1860, allowing a little of the dialogue Mrs. Carmody has in the short story to show up for the first time.

40 minutes into the episode the mist shows up. Not so gaunt father has gone to the police station to report the stoning and gets stuck there with rapist football player cop father, doofy officer, gaunt friend, amnesia army guy, and gaunt druggie. A bunch of roaches eat doofy officer, cop father drives off in his car, and the other 4 are left at the police station to fend for themselves.

Frances Conroy and her husband are walking back from the library when some crazy guy comes out of the mist, shoots her husband, then hearing some monster kills himself, she runs to a church and meets Father Guy from Frasier.

Gaunt mother and daughter are at the mall where a character named Mrs. Carmody throws some shade about mother teaching BJs in sex ed, but mother comes back with some shade so hard about Carmody’s son that all the other old grandmother’s in line at the pharmacist with them give a knowing “Bitch got served” look. It’s cool though, Carmody goes out in the mist and gets her jaw ripped off so that she can look gory screaming back through the window at the other people in the mall. We also see that football player rapist is stuck in the mall with gaunt daughter too.

So I don’t hate this. Amnesia and football player rapist are both some seriously overplayed BS, and a rape is always a super cheap way to get some tension going so there’s that. Whoever did the casting also has an obvious hardon for gaunt actors, so if you have anything other than an ectomorphic body type you’re not going to find anyone like you in this so far. Even though “trapped in a mall with monsters outside” is not a new concept, I think it’ll work here, especially when I know ol’ Isiah Whitlock Jr. is going to be running it.

And speaking of swearing, I do like that they are dropping the F-bomb through the episode and just muting them out. I think this a much better than having grown adults not using the kind of language that grown adults would use as you see on really any ABC/NBC/CBS cop/hospital/crime show. What I DON’T like is that when you have bought the episodes on Amazon they are still muted out, because they think I’m some kind of delicate eared baby or some shit. I don’t know whose choice this is, Spike or Amazon, but I do know that when I watch The Magicians I get to hear all the fucks and shits and sexy talk in that (which is most of the show, granted) no problem. What I’m saying is that SyFy is more on the ball than Spike so far as third tier cable stations goes.

Lastly, let’s talk about third tier cable stations, and how you might think they might have the budget to afford technology better than a film from 10 years previously, but so far it’s not looking like it. All the mist seems to be done digitally or via a mist filter and it looks generously not good. I’m hoping they are saving all their special effects budget for the monsters, which may be the case as all we’ve seen kill a guy is some cockroaches somehow. That’s not super clear at this point because we’ve only heard a bunch of guys getting killed by monsters but have yet to actually see one. I swear to god Mist tv show, if you fuck me over on my mist monsters...

So yeah, there’s some garbage here, but there’s some possibility too. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR HOPEFULLY SOME MONSTERS AND SOME MORE SEXY SEX SEX!

Also check out:

Episode 11 - The Mist v. The Mist

A Mist Minute: Episode 2 - Withdrawal

A Mist Minute: Episode 3 - Hide and Seek

A Mist Minute: Episode 4 - Pequod

A Mist Minute: Episode 5 - The Waiting Room

A Mist Minute: Episode 6 - The Devil You Know

A Mist Minute: Episode 7 - Over the River and Through the Woods

A Mist Minute: Episode 8 - The Law of Nature

A Mist Minute: Episode 9 - The Waking Dream

A Mist Minute: Episode 10 - The Tenth Meal

A Mist Minute: Show Retrospective

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[haaaaaaaarrrry]

1-155 and what's your opinion on feet?

1: Name::  Lucy2: Age::   203: 3 Fears::  birds, planes, men4: 3 things I love::  babies, Kit Kats, and feeling loved5: 4 turns on::  intelligence, kindness, an acoustic guitar, someone older6: 4 turns off::  immaturity, arrogance, being super loud?, right wing7: My best friend:: Lillian 8: Sexual orientation::  hetero9: My best first date::  I’ve never really been taken out on a first date 10: How tall am I:: 5′811: What do I miss::  not caring about my weight12: What time were I born::  my mom doesn’t even remember I'm her last kid and she was forty13: Favourite color::  pink is my signature color14: Do I have a crush::  yes and no15: Favourite quote::  “ho but make it fashion” Tyra Banks16: Favourite place::  my best friend’s presence17: Favourite food::  Mac and cheese18: Do I use sarcasm::  idk u tell me19: What am I listening to right now:: the winner of the 2018 AOTY Grammy Award: Divide20: First thing I notice in new person::  whether or not they’re nice21: Shoe size::  822: Eye color::  brown23: Hair color:: dark brown. just dyed it.24: Favourite style of clothing::  ho but fashion25: Ever done a prank call?::  loads of times27: Meaning behind my URL:: well Tenerife SEA but my name rhymes so Tenerife LU-sea was born but no one got it so Tenerife-lucy28: Favourite movie::  Dirty Dancing29: Favourite song:: of all time, Tiny Dancer. Currently, Happier.30: Favourite band:: GNR sun31: How I feel right now::  sad32: Someone I love::  my dad33: My current relationship status::  single as a Pringle m834: My relationship with my parents:: lovely35: Favourite holiday:: thanksgiving36: Tattoos and piercing I have::  nose and my pine tree37: Tattoos and piercing I want:: I don’t want any more piercings but I do want the word wild on my butt38: The reason I joined Tumblr::  does anyone actually know39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?::  I don’t know how he feels about me but ask my therapist40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?::  does my mom count41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?::  no42: When did I last hold hands?::  romantically? in December 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?:: too damn long44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?:: no lmao45: Where am I right now?::  a state of loneliness and self loathing46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?:: Nora 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? ::   loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? ::  no49: Am I excited for anything?::  October 6th binch50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?::  yes51: How often do I wear a fake smile?:: 88% of the time52: When was the last time I hugged someone?::  earlier today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?::  I wouldn’t be alarmed54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?::  um I don’t really trust anyone except my parents so55: What is something I disliked about today?::  I messed up my nails right after I painted them56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?::  Singer Songwriter Edward Christopher Sheeran57: What do I think about most?::  my weight58: What’s my strangest talent?::  I can eat a lollipop with my toes59: Do I have any strange phobias?:: birds? is that strange60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?::  behind61: What was the last lie I told?::  I have no idea62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?:: talking on the phone I don’t like to see myself63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? :: yes yes64: Do I believe in magic?:: duh65: Do I believe in luck?:: yeppers66: What's the weather like right now?::  cold as a witch’s teet67: What was the last book I've read?:: Madame Bovary68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?:: weirdly yes69: Do I have any nicknames?::  Lu, Luc, Lu-Bug, Lucyfer, edsheeran.daddy6970: What was the worst injury I've ever had?::  I hurt my back once and could hardly move71: Do I spend money or save it?::  spend 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?::  no73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?::  my blankie74: Favourite animal?:: cat cats75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?:: watching ANTM76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?::  Moore77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?:: One Call Away78: How can you win my heart?::  by being Ed Sheeran79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?::  here lies a dramatic hoe who loved y’all binches80: What is my favorite word? ::  actually. I say it all the time81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @knox-on-eds-wood @weareedsobfg ((I'm cheating and grouping y’all all in one) @tea-and-toblerones @gay-romantics @lordedsheeran82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? :: she won the popular vote83: Do I have any relatives in jail?:: not that I know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?:: healing people85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?::  do you practice what you preach86: What is my current desktop picture?::  my baby niece87: Had sex?::  yah88: Bought condoms?::  yah89: Gotten pregnant?::  no90: Failed a class?::  no but almost91: Kissed a boy?::  yah92: Kissed a girl?::  no93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?::  yah94: Had job?:: ye had job95: Left the house without my wallet?::  who hasn’t96: Bullied someone on the internet?::  not unless you count repeatedly using the phrase daddy and grossing out @ownerandwriterofedsnnnnggghhhh and @purplelunarmoth97: Had sex in public?::  no98: Played on a sports team?::  MARCHING BAND IS A SPORT 99: Smoked weed?::  yah100: Did drugs?::  no101: Smoked cigarettes?::  no102: Drank alcohol?::  yah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?::  I wish104: Been overweight?::  in my opinion105: Been underweight?::  in the doctor’s opinion106: Been to a wedding?::  bitch I been in three smh107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?::  this damn website108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?::  yah109: Been outside my home country?::  no110: Gotten my heart broken?::  yah111: Been to a professional sports game?::  surprisingly yes and I was horribly hungover112: Broken a bone?::  no113: Cut myself?::  not purposely114: Been to prom?::  twice and it was two of the worst nights of my life115: Been in airplane?::  god yes116: Fly by helicopter? ::  no I need Christian Grey lulz

117: What concerts have I been to? Cheetah Girls, Hannah Montana, Rascal Flatts, Metallica, Paramore, Amos Lee x3, Carole King and James Taylor, Mason Jennings, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Guns N Roses, Keith Urban, I think that’s it

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?::  nah119: Learned another language?::  ugh I'm trying it’s so hard120: Wore make up?::   every damn day hoe121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?::  I feel attacked122: Had oral sex?::  I feel very attacked123: Dyed my hair?::  so many times124: Voted in a presidential election?::  yes125: Rode in an ambulance?::  yes126: Had a surgery?::  yes127: Met someone famous?::  yes128: Stalked someone on a social network?:: psshhh 129: Peed outside?:: peeing in bodies of water is one of the great joys of my life130: Been fishing?:: yah131: Helped with charity?:: yah132: Been rejected by a crush?:: indirectly and directly133: Broken a mirror?::  it was awful that’s why I'm cursed134: What do I want for birthday?::  a big booty hoe135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?::  I want probably three. Okay for a girl: Dixie Lee, Tennessee Lily, (she will go by Lily) for a boy: Bennie James (Jim) 136: Was I named after anyone? ::  a Sandra Bullock character137: Do I like my handwriting?::  sometimes 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?::  Full House139: Favourite Tv Show?::  The Office140: Where do I want to live when older?::  in a state of happiness141: Play any musical instrument?::  the piano142: One of my scars, how did I get it?::  I had surgery143: Favourite pizza toping?::  cheese or pepperoni144: Am I afraid of the dark?:: idk kinda145: Am I afraid of heights?::  yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?::  yes lmao147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?::  lol my life148: What I'm really bad at::  being a human149: What my greatest achievments are::  this horrible blog150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me::  can’t repeat it151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery::  give it all to charity after buying bomb ed tickets152: What do I like about myself::  I make other people happy153: My closest Tumblr friend:: um probably @knox-on-eds-wood or @tea-and-toblerones154: Something I fantasise about::  being a stay at home mom to Ed Sheeran’s baby155: Any question you'd like? I do not like them but don’t actively dislike them

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, October 21

Cover: Jeffrey Epstein Teen Slave Scandal -- Prince Andrew fails lie detector test 

Page 2: Matt Lauer has no relationship with his kids after scandal and they’re thinking of taking their mother Annette Roque’s last name 

Page 3: Meg Ryan and Josh Mellencamp’s wedding is off 

Page 4: Bindi Irwin gets plastic surgery for her wedding, Steve Harvey’s wife Marjorie ditches her wedding ring, Debbie Harry drug and rape shockers 

Page 5: Jennifer Garner’s boyfriend John Miller has been taking things slow but after her ex Ben Affleck started to weasel his way into the picture John has upped his game by having Jennifer meet his parents, Tom Cruise received a slap in the face from his son Connor who has moved out of Tom’s newly built luxury home in Clearwater and may be turning his back on Scientology 

Page 6: Cher has found a way to turn back time with plastic surgery and a strict diet and exercise program, 70-year-old Richard Gere is keeping a scrapbook of his life to share with his baby son in case he’s not there when his boy is growing up 

Page 7: Goldie Hawn to Kurt Russell -- marry me or leave 

Page 8: Dolly Parton’s themepark Dollywood hit with a lawsuit by a woman who claimed she injured her wrist on a ride, Ellen DeGeneres is being brought to her knees by crippling health woes that may cause her to quit her show 

Page 9: Chevy Chase’s Parkinson fears, Robert De Niro won’t read his dad’s gay tell-all 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Jimmy Fallon and Ringo Starr and The Roots play Yellow Submarine on toy instruments, Rachel McAdams on a Segway for her film Eurovision, Elizabeth Banks and her family at Disneyland 

Page 11: Amal Clooney tells husband George Clooney to shave his beard or give up sex with her but George wants a wild beard like David Letterman, Gloria Estefan is furious that she wasn’t invited to appear with Jennifer Lopez and Shakira in the Super Bowl halftime show in Miami 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Lea Michele at Disneyland, Taylor Swift’s 2020 tour will have a brand new squad of drag squeens, Hollywood shunned Bethenny Frankel on Emmy weekend, RHONYC Dorinda Medley and longtime love John Mahdessian are just on a break, after Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner were nearly laughed off the stage at the Emmys Kendall vows to go it alone and separate herself from Kim and the rest of the family because she worked hard to be taken seriously as a model and now all that hard work has been erased 

Page 13: Paris Hilton is furious over being snubbed by The Hills: New Beginnings who want her sister Nicky Hilton Rothschild instead, Stacey Dash won’t face domestic battery charges after the husband she allegedly attacked bailed her out of jail, Christina Aguilera hasn’t had a hit song since 2014 and is down to her last $300,000 but her spending is out of control 

Page 14: Real Life 

Page 16: True Crime 

Page 17: Marie Osmond’s family isn’t sure a second time around with her first husband Stephen Craig is a good idea, Bill Cosby’s wife Camille Cosby stands by her man

Page 18: Cover Story -- Proof Prince Andrew lied about teen sex slave 

Page 20: Jeffrey Epstein’s right-hand woman Ghislaine Maxwell hiding in luxury, breakdown fears for Prince Harry after emotional Angola trip and his marriage to Meghan Markle is a nightmare and the public hates him  for hiding his son and his relationships with Queen Elizabeth and his once-inseparable brother Prince William have exploded 

Page 21: Ashton Kutcher has attempted to prevent a new cheating scandal by gagging his former sister-in-law 

Page 23: How to improve your hearing 

Page 24: Health Watch 

Page 28: Michael Fishman of The Conners lost his wife after an eye injury caused him to lose his non-acting job according to disturbing claims his ex made in divorce documents, Ed O’Neill is a rotten son tossing his Alzheimer’s-riddled stepmom out on the street, Kelly Clarkson snubbed her dying dad and then flipped the script to paint him as the cruel one 

Page 30: Josh Duhamel is playing house with decades-younger Miss World Audra Mari and they’re already talking babies, David Charvet was spotted smooching a 25-years-younger Russian model who looks just like his ex Brooke Burke, Hollywood Hookups -- New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and author Sandra Lee have split, Seann William Scott wed Olivia Korenberg 

Page 32: John Cena gives vets million-dollar boost, 15-year-old whiz kid Nick Arjomand has created a revolutionary new cancer screening method 

Page 36: Paul Hogan is a recluse broods over his ex Linda Kozlowski and his wayward son and his lost career 

Page 42: Red Carpet Stars & Stumbles -- Renee Zellweger, Anna Paquin, Elle Fanning 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Jerry O’Connell and Alfonso Ribeiro 

Page 47: Odd List

[ktkski2017-blog]

Luke’s Thoughts

February 8, 2017

I asked Luke to write up a blog post about his experiences over the last few days and he sent me the following thoughts:

"Talent is universal. Opportunity is not." - Nicholas Kristoff   

A few nights ago, we joined some of the other health care workers staying at the hospital complex for a bonfire. After getting to talking with them, one of them, Beth, who was a lawyer back in the US and is the wife of Dr. Larry Smith, mentioned that she has been visiting local rural village schools with her Swahili teacher. She suggested I may be able to join her on one of the visits. So after arranging the details, she and I met [Tuesday] morning at the gate to the complex at 8:30 am morning to be picked up by Millicent, her teacher. Millicent Garama is a cheerful, short, stout woman maybe in her late 50s. She speaks perfect English with a thick Kenyan accent. She is the programs director for an organization that focuses on empowering girls and removing barriers to education. Its called For The Good PERIOD, and I'm pretty sure the pun is intended. She is also a nurse by training. She came to pick us up with her driver, Evan. Evan is in his early 20s and a fashionable guy. He wore a clean baseball cap with the bill only slightly curved. We were taking his car, which I could tell from looking at the console was clearly an Asian import, as the digital display (showing a non functioning GPS) was in an Eastern Asian language. Before leaving town we had to pick up one more person for the trip: Pauline. Pauline is a nurse at PCEA Chogoria Hospital in the NICU. Also likely in her early 20's, and judging by her chic look, she took a bit of time getting ready for the day while we waited for her.   So we set off. Evan had the radio on; Ace of Base, Sting and other rock ballads provided some fun energy as we got acquainted with each other. Pauline was born and attended all her schooling in Chogoria, including graduating from the hospital's nursing program. Beth recently arrived in town from Alaska, her husband a physician. They will be staying here for two years. We headed South but soon turned East. The road soon turned to dirt and was very dusty. We drove for probably an hour, passing mango orchards (is that what it’s called? As Millicent pointed out, it was a beautiful and delicious sight), coffee plantations, corn fields and, unexpectedly to me, a lot of sunflower fields. The road became more rocky, the houses and buildings passed from brick and concrete to wood and traditional mud huts with thatched roofs. There was an occasional motorcycle, but most people walked around these parts, carrying their water and harvests on their backs. After passing several schools, we finally pulled in to the drive of 'our school.' Like an African cliche many of the kids, wearing their blue and yellow uniforms, came running out to us - yelling and smiling as we got out of the car. Some not as sure, held back just looking at the new arrivals. Others, like a very young student eating his food (which was also all over his face and collar) got right up close saying "hello" and shaking hands. Across the school yard, under a tree sat a small group of parents. They are who we came to talk with. Some of the older students brought out desks for us to sit on under the tree. The parents sat on the ground and rocks. They were self-segregated by sex. The 5 men sat close together off to the side, while the women spread around the base of the tree and a nearby water cistern. By the end, there were maybe 30 or so parents. After we introduced ourselves (with Millicent translating - I got the feeling that very little English is used out here) Millicent began her discussion. Speaking in a cousin language of kiswahili (it was Embu I believe), she did short translations for us in between her thoughts and after others spoke. Pauline took notes. Millicent spoke on the importance of education for the children, of parents being active in their children's schooling and community. The main point was universal: it takes a village to raise a child. The school administrator shared the school’s mission statement, motto and objective: it boiled down to students’ success in life and school and community development. She then got into a more serious discussion, asking frank and likely uncomfortable questions for a fairly conservative culture.  It took a bit of pressing to get the parents to share their thoughts regarding the challenges the community faces: Alcoholism, especially among men, puts a larger burden on the women to take care of the children. Next, clean drinking water. Maybe 100 or 150 houses have piped water but it’s still not safe, clean water. The rest use a nearby silty river. Typhoid, amoebiasis, and other water borne health risks are a common issue - even with the piped water. Millicent asked who boils their water. With very few replying she pushed on and had all parents verbally commit to boiling their drinking water. What about the schools drinking water? Impractical to boil that much water (especially since the school did not have a kitchen). Perhaps the school can get supplied with "water guard." I was informed by Beth that it’s essentially an additive containing beach. Millicent will look into that, but the school may have to share the costs. Toilets: very few homes had them, so Millicent explained the importance of sanitation. Next, HIV/AIDS: many women expressed concerns, though it is a subject with a lot of stigma and is rarely talked about openly so it is unclear exactly how prevalent it is in the community. Millicent will bring an HIV/AIDS positive person to talk to the community and share what it’s like to live with the disease (at a later date). She will also try to bring a nurse and the supplies to do private testing for those those desire it. As I mentioned the school had no kitchen and lack of food is always a problem. She and the school administrator will look into government subsidized food availability. In closing, she stressed 1) the importance of parents becoming more engaged in their children’s education and health, 2) sharing concerns with the community Chief, and 3) pressuring the local government for better or more reliable services, were some practical places to start. After wrapping up the conversation, a prayer, and expressing gratitude (by a rhythm clap), Millicent presented the teachers with two (deflated) footballs (soccer balls). We were then given a tour of the school grounds by a teacher. Currently food is cooked over an open fire in large iron cauldrons in what is supposed to be the administration building. I poked my head in to the building window; today it looked like beans and corn were on the menu. The out-houses (pit toilets) were in disrepair. They were made of rusted corrugated metal sheeting; the teacher told us that the ground is very hard to dig deep holes with the amount of rock in the soil. The staff's out-house was held up by long branches but that was not currently being used because a snake had evidently found it to be a nice home (I assume it is a venomous/dangerous snake). Instead, the staff was using the newest built toilets, intended for the students. The classrooms were a Minimalist’s dream: simple wooden desks and a painted-on chalk board, with very few supplies. Each room was designated for a grade. One of the rooms had been converted to be used for administration since the admin building was the 'kitchen' now. There was also a smaller room for higher ed. test prep. The school also had a few solar panels that supplied power to one or two of the higher grade classrooms. The footballs, now inflated by a local man with a pump, were shared with the students. The teacher giving us the tour called all the students to group up, girls in one group, boys in another. In a very awkward turn of events, Millicent pushed me and Beth to give them the balls. The image of two white people giving African children gifts was not lost on either of us. But the children were happy they had new footballs as they did not already have any. They gave thanks by clapping in rhythm. After final goodbyes to the children and some of the parents, we began our dusty, rocky, slow trip back. We stopped at the river providing water to the community on the way. It was a good size and beautiful from a natural perspective. But is was also very silty. A new damn was being built near the road, likely to divert drinking water Millicent said. While we were there, a man pulled up on his motorcycle with several yellow jugs on the back (formally used for petroleum). He was gathering water for his home. On the way to the school Beth expressed interest in the traditional mud huts we saw along the way. As we continued back to Chogoria, Millicent asked Beth if she would like to stop and take a picture of one. Beth said she would not be comfortable with that unless she had permission from the home owner. That got a good smile and chuckle from Evan. Millicent, being the cheerfully assertive person she is, had Evan stop at the next hut we passed, got out of the care and started walking down the short path to the house. The home owners agreed to let us take pictures. As I was walking up to the homes (there were three), I felt very uncomfortable. This was voyeuristic and exploiting people’s lives. That feeling soon diminished: we met the owners, shaking hands and complementing their homes, goats, and shamba (garden/land). It’s the proper thing to do in Kenya: express how much you enjoy the country/community/home. Kenyans enjoy hearing that. After a few photos, we showed the residents. They enjoyed looking at our cell phone screens with the pictures on them. Even Pauline and Evan took some pictures in front of the house. Pauline was exceptionally excited about it. I'm not sure who suggested it, Millicent or the residents, but before I knew it I was being asked to get back in front of the hut with the owners for pictures. For some reason they really wanted a picture taken with me, the white male from the U.S.A. - They did not care for pictures with any of the others. Now I was the one being exploited! I figured it was a fair trade. But how could we get them the pictures, they did not have E-mail or internet. How could they? They didn't even have electricity. Millicent and Beth would try to find access to a printer back in Chogoria, maybe at the hospital, The next time Millicent passes by (on her way to one of the schools) she will drop of paper copies. The rest of the way back to Chogoria was uneventful. Beth slept, Pauline scrolled Facebook on her phone, and Millicent and Evan had a conversation in Swahili. I enjoyed the view out the window wishing I could have a mango orchard. -Luke