#like how is interpreting blobs gonna tell you shit????

[redo-rewind-if]

Hii, I just played the demo and I love it! It's fun and dynamic. I also support the dislike for Rorschach. I look forward to the next chapters!

Hi! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! Also, always love to see Rorschach test slander, those things are honestly just ridiculous (imo), and should be destroyed.

[flecks-of-stardust]

ghost, broken vessel, thk, hornet and quirrel :) you dont have to do them all but

(ask game referenced) [link to ask box]

don't tell me what to do /lh

its really long, so im gonna put this under a cut

Ghost

First impression: baby. little cutiepie whom i love. smol murder machine go brrrr Impression now: still a murder machine but Way angrier. stab first, think later, never apologize. this vessel can fit So much trauma in it JKBKJBKJ Favorite moment: honestly i have No idea. i dont know if theres a specific favorite moment i have for them, because theres a lot that made me like them as a character to begin with, but also like. my interpretation of them is Very canon divergent, so sfkjghjks Idea for a story: i have a whole fucking au, here's the link Unpopular opinion: i stand by the idea that ghost is old as balls. while i thoroughly enjoy kid ghost content, i just cannot look at them myself and see them as a child? their body may be that of one, but theyre definitely at least a few decades old, which. automatically puts them in Not A Kid territory for me. i know some people are really adamant on calling ghost a child because of the in game dialogue but,,, id rather they Not be a child. please and thank you. sjgkhjkjks Favorite relationship: no <3 though i think about them with their siblings a lot Favorite headcanon: i headcanon them as loveless! it just,, feels right for them, idk. im actually a lovequeer aro, so im a little out of my depth here, but. yeah. they just seem like the type to identify with that

Broken Vessel/Lost Kin

First impression: ah fuck a boss fight. fuck shit fuck shit fuck fuck FUCK STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR INFECTION BLOBS. im ddarking you to death Impression now: YOOOOUUUUUU ARE MY AAANGGGEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND AND KISS YOUR FOREHEAD Favorite moment: its not necessarily a 'favorite' moment per se? but the ending of the lost kin fight would probably be it. them reaching out after dying in the broken vessel fight is heartbreaking enough, but the fact that unlike the other dream battles, you dont get to 'listen' to them. the prompt is 'accept.' and that really got to me my first playthrough—still does, tbh—and coupled with the fact they wordlessly bow to you before shattering into 400 essence, i cried for like 10 minutes after beating them the first time. theres probably something to be said about acceptance in hollow knight, and how ghost killed their sibling not once, but twice to finally lay them to rest, but im not gonna put the thought in to word that right now Idea for a story: once again, i have a whole ass au! specifically for lheki though, i have a post-dreamless story idea involving them, ghost, and orchid (greenpath vessel), where the latter two sneak into probably the lab lheki's working in and break something important. im not sure yet, but they break Something, and lheki goes full older sibling rage mode on them sgjkhjk i like sibling shenanigans :D Unpopular opinion: unsure how unpopular this is, but i personally view them as the oldest vessel of the four. its my way of explaining why they're taller than ghost, and also ive melded their personality into that role now rip Favorite relationship: no <3 Favorite headcanon: suddenly realizing i might be conflating opinion with headcanon but uhhhh whatever. anyway they're the science vessel, because yes. they're the most logically attuned of the four vessels, and they like helping out in the archives as well as doing sciencey stuff with monomon and quirrel. i will not be taking criticism,

The Hollow Knight/Pure Vessel

First impression: OH GOD HELP SHIT FUCK SIBLING STOP STABBING ME AAAAA WHY ARE YOU SO FA S T (i honestly wasnt thinking much about them as a character in the moment lol) Impression now: damn, move a little faster will you. i know youve been stuck here rotting for centuries, but your godhome equivalent is so much faster i keep dashing into you. character wise though? HRFRYURBGRBHJGGRRBHJRBHJGGRHJB BAAAABYY I WILL GIB KI S S Favorite moment: honestly? all of the pure vessel fight. its still one of my favorites, even if its not a moment per se sfkjgkjasks Idea for a story: au! au!!!!! au!!!!!! i do also have a different idea that specifically features glimmer (their dreamless name) and its kinda just cozy moments post-dreamless (with a smidgen of angst). i cant say much because this idea has lots of spoilers, rip, but its cute. i think Unpopular opinion: they're the youngest! for similar reasons stated in the broken vessel section, but the other way around; at least with dreamless lore, they were selected after lheki was discarded, after a bunch of other 'failed' vessels. so by default they have to be the youngest. also its fun to have the 'youngest sibling is the tallest' dynamic askjfgj Favorite relationship: n o < 3 Favorite headcanon: i dump all my chronic pain and chronic illness stuff on them because they are a Very convenient slate for that. theres so many ways you could take it?? like phantom limb pain and also nerve pain in general for their severed arm, the cracks through their eye probably impact their vision somehow, the scarring on their torso is definitely going to impact Something, and i also subscribe to the idea that holly's growth was unnatural and forced, which caused them to grow faster than they should have and also made them taller and bigger than they otherwise would be, which is a longwinded way to say full body chronic pain! because they never shouldve grown this fast! :D

Hornet

First impression: i vividly remember that my first thought upon seeing her was 'SISSA!!!!!' because i'd watched a few hollow knight related things after my friend suggested the game to me. so i went into the game with a little bit of background information, particularly with the main sibling trio. also she was just cool Impression now: SISSAAAAAAAAAA who also has a lot of trauma that she has yet to work through <3 pointy and angry because of said trauma, but fundamentally a very caring person Favorite moment: do i have to pick one? hornet herself is always a favorite moment gjkhKJJKS yeah idfk man Idea for a story: im just going to keep mentioning my au. everyone's in there. please check it out /gen i Also happen to have ideas for hornet pov chapters. i just have lots of ideas. mainly theyre just scenes that i want to rewrite from her perspective because i think itd be interesting sdsdkjjks Unpopular opinion: i personally view her as pretty touch averse, which seems to be like. nonexistent among the broader fanon of her. she's had to close herself off for a very long time, and i think while she'd still like physical affection to an extent, it's foreign and a little uncomfortable for her to indulge and engage in that affection, and not all of it is from the trauma she has to work through. its also just overwhelming to her to be grabbed in hugs and stuff; she and glimmer/holly worked out a way to show affection without hugs, and part of it is horn clinking! i havent figured out much more beyond that though, aside from the fact that ghost keeps forgetting hornet doesnt like hugs sfkgjhjks Favorite relationship: im just going to keep saying no for this row because i dont really give a shit about shipping, and i think the sibling dynamics are far more interesting to play around with. i see lacenet, i think its cool, but also i dont care and dont really understand. yall have fun though Favorite headcanon: ive mentioned this in other posts as well, but i really like the idea of her having a little. like. spinneret on her rear end. i havent seen anyone go with this depiction of her, which is,,, a little startling considering she Clearly uses silk, and she has to get it somehow? and she is a spider after all, so i like the idea of her making her own silk which she collects. the problem is i dont know how to draw it :(

Quirrel

First impression: :O friend! hello! Impression now: BEST BOY QORL, IMMACULATE DAD VIBES I LOVE YOU. i am going to ignore you sitting by blue lake on purpose Favorite moment: honestly him appearing in the uumuu fight was a Delight. i dont remember what my thoughts were exactly, but it felt so good to have him fighting with me, even if it was,, mostly just dodging and waiting for him to deflate uumuu skjgkjhkjs Idea for a story: auuuuuuuu but i dont think i have any current ideas for quirrel focused stories. there Is that poem i posted a while back, but. hm. i dunno, things may change thouWAIT NO I REMEMBER. yes i also have something from his perspective. but that's also heavily spoiler filled so i cant elaborate unfortunately Unpopular opinion: i dont,,, think i have any unpopular opinions about him. id say 'monomon raised him' but im fairly sure that's actually quite popular. so idk sakjjksdg Favorite relationship: in line with what i mentioned above, i really like quirrel and monomon's relationship. not romantic though; i honestly cant wrap my head around romantic quirrelxmonomon and it kind of weirds me out, but i suppose with how vague the timeline is anything is possible Favorite headcanon: dad quirrel :) look im just a sucker for anything familial KJDFKJGKJKJ while dreamless doesnt have dad quirrel in it, its a top tier concept and i fucking Love it. he just has those Vibes yaknow

dear god this is long. thanks for the ask, fuck you tumblr for deleting the first iteration of this :')

[wherevermyway]

kinktober day one: food play

kinktober day one: food play alternative title: like ketchup on a hot dog what the fuck is wrong with me

pairing: hwang hyunjin/lee felix rating: explicit | 18+ warnings: WOW AM I GOING TO HELL FOR THIS but trashy smut, food play, ketchup as lube (yes you read that correctly), oral, profanity, hyunjin is a little aggressive with french fries, alcohol, degrading words, praise kink, hint of dacryphilia, bottom!felix, top!hyunjin, some feelings at the end. this is really gross and i hate that i wrote it. word count: idk like 2,800 or some shit on AO3 too.

sorry in advance to the anons that wanted individual hyunjin and felix things but i am stupid and cannot figure out how food kinks work so i smooshed them together (literally i guess lol) and i am now going to hell goodbye. also i was eating fries with barbecue sauce last night when i got drunk and this idea hit me. also nsfw twitter is something entirely different.

recommended tracks: beware by stray kids, sexual healing (kygo remix) by marvin gaye and kygo, kerosene! by yves tumor

disclaimer: any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable, please stop reading now.

note: for the love of minho’s cats, do not consume alcohol. you’ll write stuff like this.

For some reason, Hyunjin always got really bad ideas when he had a couple of drinks in his system. Tonight’s bad idea, for instance, was getting his roommate to lick some ketchup off of his shirt, a big, thick glob of it resting on his sternum.

“Hey,” Hyunjin says with a bit of a slur, poking his head to the side to look into Felix’s room. “C’mere a sec, yeah?”

The younger man grumbles as he sulks his way out of his room. “What do you want now?” Felix always found Hyunjin kind of annoying, but even more so when he was drinking. He only put up with the older man because he let Felix live in his apartment for free while he was finishing up his culinary programme and needed to save money.

The two of them had a really strange relationship. They met a couple years ago when Felix had started working at Hyunjin’s parents’ restaurant. It started off polite and innocent, up until one night where all of the waitstaff decided to get drunk and play some games. The lead waiter, Minho, was a jerk who liked to watch people squirm, so when he dared Hyunjin to kiss Felix, nobody was really surprised.

What was surprising, however, is that Hyunjin actually did it. He had slammed his hands down on the table, crawling over the empty bottles of soju and cans of beer and dragged his way across the table and into Felix’s lap. The way that Hyunjin pressed his hips against the man beneath him as he grabbed Felix’s face and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss drove Felix mad for days. He didn’t want to stop kissing Hyunjin, not one bit.

“I need you to do something for me,” Hyunjin smirks, pulling Felix out of his memory. The brunette points down to his shirt and scoffs. “Clean me up.”

This was going to be one of those nights.

God, he hated how much of a snotty brat Hyunjin was. It was obvious that he had a nice, plush lifestyle growing up, being catered to hand-and-foot by all of the staff that helped raise him. Felix rolls his eyes and starts to walk to the kitchen, until Hyunjin interrupts him with a devilish grin creeping up on his face.

“Nah, wait,” he leans back against the couch, placing his arm on the back of the furniture, arrogantly smiling at the younger man. “Come clean it up. Hands-free.”

Felix grits his teeth and clenches his fist a bit. If Hyunjin didn’t fuck him so well, he wouldn’t put up with this; he would tell him off and tell him to get bent. But there he was, making his way over to the man on the couch, because he was already half-hard thinking about kissing Hyunjin’s stupid lips.

The men stared at each other for a second, before Felix huffed and straddled Hyunjin’s lap. The briny scent of the ketchup on Hyunjin’s shirt overwhelmed Felix’s sense of smell for a moment, getting worse as he bent down and brought himself closer to the viscous glob. Vinegar, sugar, and salt was all he could think about as he nervously stuck his tongue out, not really sure if this was a good idea.

“C’mon,” Hyunjin grumbles, “I wanna watch you lick it up, let’s go.”

Hyunjin was infuriating to Felix. He wanted nothing more than to punch that smirk off of his face, but he didn’t. He never would. Instead, he lets out a frustrated sigh and presses his tongue up against the older man’s shirt, the overwhelming flavour of sugary vinegar overtaking his mouth.

Felix swallowed it down, then did a couple more licks for good measure, just to piss off Hyunjin a little more. It likely worked, because the extra swipes caused the brunette to groan in irritation and grind his pelvis up in response.

“That’s a good boy,” Hyunjin moans out, reaching a hand up to grab a fistful of Felix’s hair. “Hyungie wants to play tonight and hyungie isn’t gonna be very nice to his fucktoy. You still good with using ‘red’ as your word?”

Felix scrunches his nose up in disgust as the unbearable scent of ketchup was quickly replaced by the gross stench of stale beer floating from Hyunjin’s breath. This was going to be a long night. He hesitates, thinking about how stupid the dynamic between them was, for how stupid he was for being Hyunjin’s personal cumrag, how stupid it was that he loved every second of it. He gets lost in his confused regret for a moment, then nods his head a couple times.

“Use your words,” Hyunjin commands, tugging the blond’s hair a little harder.

Fuck. Felix really loved this and it was beyond stupid.

“Yes, hyung,” he breathes out, his voice creaking a bit from the fingers in his hair.

“Good boy.” Hyunjin tugs at Felix’s hair again, taking his free hand and gripping the younger man’s hip. A devious smile comes up on Hyunjin’s face and his eyes darken before he digs his fingers into Felix’s hair and hip harder, and pushes him down, practically throwing him into the couch.

It happened so fast, Felix couldn’t really wrap his head around it, blinking his eyes rapidly as he stared into the couch cushion. He turned his head, looking up to Hyunjin towering over him with that cocky fucking smirk on his face. Normally, he hated that smirk, but right now, all Felix wanted to do was shove his dick in it.

Hyunjin reaches down to Felix’s hair again, grabbing it to roll him over. “Look at me.”

As requested, Felix timidly looks up at Hyunjin. His stomach drops a bit when Hyunjin swipes his tongue over his bottom lip and bites it.

“Open.”

Felix timidly drops his jaw, sticking his tongue out as he watches Hyunjin reach down to the plate on the table behind them, grabbing a fistful of the limp, cold fried potatoes, and his eyes instantly widened. That was a lot of fries. Was he seriously gonna shove all of them in his face?

Yes, he absolutely was. Of course he was. Hyunjin was an asshole and Felix stupidly ate it up.

Salt and grease fill Felix’s mouth as Hyunjin jams every single one of those damn fries into his face, making sure to poke the stragglers in a little harder, just for good measure. Tears started burning at the corner of Felix’s eyes, surprised and shocked at how full his mouth was, at how much discomfort coursed through his jaw.

“Cry for me, you pathetic baby,” Hyunjin laughs. “You know hyungie loves it when you cry for him.”

And so, he did. Felix didn’t really feel like crying, but he knew that Hyunjin loved it when the tears would spill down his face. He would be rewarded later with a mind-blowing orgasm, but he had to be patient. So, he let the insincere tears roll down his face, bleeding into the fries sticking out of his mouth.

“You’re so pretty when you cry.” The brunette smiles, wiping a tear off of the cheek of the man beneath him. “You’re so pretty all the time, baby. My pretty baby.”

Felix’s eyebrow twitched as he thought over what Hyunjin just said. Was he being nice and sincerely complimenting him for once, or was it just the rush of alcohol and oxytocin rushing through his veins?

Drool started spilling from both corners of Felix’s mouth as he pondered the words echoing in his mind. A strange fluttering filled his stomach as he just could not stop thinking about it. Did Felix actually enjoy this weird dynamic between them?

“C’mon,” Hyunjin whines, poking at the fries hanging from Felix’s mouth. “I wanna fill that hole with something else now. Eat them right now, please. I’m really hard and wanna come all over you.”

It was awkward to even think about how in the hell he was going to get all of those fries down his throat. They were gross and slimy and covered in saliva, which wasn’t appetizing at all to Felix. The way they disintegrated as he tried to chew them, failing miserably as squishy blobs of potato and saliva fell from his lips, it felt strange and uncomfortable. Felix never understood why Hyunjin liked forcing him to eat things, but he also just didn’t understand Hyunjin at all.

A bit of a triumphant feeling washes over Felix as he finally has an empty mouth again, like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and he could breathe again. He didn’t have much time to appreciate the sensation, however, as Hyunjin pulls his cock out from his joggers, rubbing it up against Felix’s cheek.

Hyunjin smirks, then reaches behind him and grabs the bottle of ketchup off of the table, giving it a couple shakes as he looks down to Felix. Mentally, Felix swore he would never eat ketchup ever again after all of this was over. He knew that every time he saw it, he would think about Hyunjin squirting it all over his dick, some of the liquid splashing up against Felix’s face as it collided against their skin with force, splattering everywhere and making an absolute mess.

He would think about Hyunjin every time he thought of ketchup now, and he knew he would instantaneously get hard at the memory, and he hated how stupid that was.

Felix hated the smell of ketchup right against his nose, but the musky smell of Hyunjin’s sweaty skin mixed with it somehow made it more palatable. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Hyunjin’s face, losing himself in just how fucked-out he looked.

“Thought this would taste better than the lube, go with the flavour of the fries, yeah?” The corner of Hyunjin’s lips tilted upright as he slipped his sticky, dripping cock against Felix’s mouth. “Open up and take me, baby.”

He knew he was going to roll his eyes at the thought of this later, but he did as requested, as Hyunjin slowly pressed his cock into Felix’s mouth. The ketchup burned his nose because there was just so much of it. It bubbled up around his lips and started spilling down his chin, his throat, until it landed on his pants and the carpet, dripping down in big, thick globs. He shouldn’t enjoy this, but Felix was getting into it. Every fibre in his being said that this was stupid, their dynamic was terrible, that no sane person would enjoy taking a dick in their mouth with ketchup smeared all over it like it was a fucking hot dog.

God, he really did love how fucked up this was.

“Good boy, baby,” Hyunjin coos as his cock hits the back of Felix’s throat. “I’m gonna move now, so lemme know if it’s too much.”

Felix moans against Hyunjin’s dick, knowing that the sensation would drive his senior absolutely mad. He rolls his tongue around the top of Hyunjin’s head, then moves his hands up to grab on to Hyunjin’s hips. He wanted to palm himself through his pants, his very hard and very obvious erection painfully throbbing against the fabric of his briefs.

He just had to be patient for a little longer.

Hyunjin gives no warning before he pulls his cock back, almost completely taking it out, then he slams it back in, lightly grazing against Felix’s teeth and getting residual bits of ketchup all over them both. It was messy, it was dirty, it was filthy, but both of them were loving it too much to stop. There was something about how taboo this all was that Hyunjin loved. He loved everything about topping his roommate, about how they’d experiment with stupid kinks they found on the internet, about how much they hated each other sometimes.

There would never be another friend quite like Felix to Hyunjin, and he loved every second of their bizarre codependency on each other. They didn’t bother masturbating anymore, they just haphazardly fucked whenever and wherever they felt like it: sometimes in the kitchen, where Hyunjin took some of Felix’s brownie batter and smeared it all over his face; sometimes in the shower, right up against the glass door; sometimes they would have lazy midnight sex where one of them would groggily intrude their way into the other’s room and just push their mouth against the other’s lips, desperate for skinship.

Felix loved to pester Hyunjin, pushing his buttons just so he could get a good dicking every so often. Hyunjin loved to watch Felix inanely bite at his lips every time he came up with some masterful dish in the kitchen and just how proud he would be when it was completed.

Hyunjin also really loved it when Felix would bob his head up and down his cock because he was just so good at it. He had been with a few different people before, but the sexual chemistry between the two of them was just so good, he wasn’t sure he could ever fuck another human being on the entire planet again.

“Good boy, Felix,” Hyunjin moans, throwing his head back as he grips Felix’s blond hair. “God, you’re so good, baby. I want you on my cock forever.”

The fucking was always good, sure, but Felix loved the way that Hyunjin praised him during sex. It was so unabashedly unrestricted, and sometimes he would say really stupid shit that made it sound like they were dating each other, but he swore he could come just from the way that Hyunjin would call him a good boy. He was Hyunjin’s good boy, and he loved it.

Felix rolls his eyes back as Hyunjin’s thrusting gets a little more reckless and uneven. He was getting close, which meant that he was going to get to come soon, too. “Fuck, baby,” Hyunjin whines, starting to twitch and roll his head around erratically. “I’m gonna come, gonna come all over that pretty face of yours.”

The older man pulls back, furiously fisting his cock as he looks down at Felix, his eyes half-open and his mouth wide, ready to take all of his cum. Fuck, he looked so pretty. He was a sweaty, filthy mess with dried tears under his eyes, drying ketchup splattered all over his face, and drool dripping down his chin.

Hyunjin lets out a strained cry as he spills his seed all over Felix’s face, just adding to the absolute mess they both were. He pants rapidly as he comes down from his high. His hands drop to his sides and he groans. “That was so good,” he whimpered, then looked down to Felix, bringing a hand up to wipe some of the cum and ketchup off his cheek. “You did so well. You okay, babe?”

Felix nods a couple of times, swallowing the weird mixture of fluids in his mouth down, and he looks up to Hyunjin. “I’ll feel a lot better after you get me off and we shower.” The two men awkwardly chuckle, blatantly ignoring the mess that was all around them. “I’m never gonna look at ketchup the same way again, though.”

They both may have had some weird dynamic between the two of them, and it may have been a little stupid, but it was them. As much as he hated to admit it, Felix loved it, and Hyunjin really did, too.

tags: @datura-inoxia​ and @huidawntrash​

[mvssmallow]

Bloodline, Part VIII

Previous Chapters Soundtrack: The Hills 

He probably should’ve known by the way his skin itched. There’s a looming chaos in the distance. 

He’s escorting Mrs Lee, his 87 year old osteoporotic patient, out his clinic room when his neck itches. Just as his fingers reached up to scratch it, he notices the blurry blob of gray through the window panel of the clinic’s back door and well, shit, his stomach just drops. 

He pauses to mentally thank every God out there that his consult room is right out the back and the closest one to the exits. Hardly any of the staff bother to venture this far, which means it’s easier to smuggle Alleged Criminals in and out without being seen. 

Not that he’s thinking of doing that again but still, he’s grateful for the location. 

None of that gratefulness does anything to stop that rush of adrenaline, tinged with both hopeful anticipation and panicked dread. He’s not prepared for this. 

But when is he ever?

There’s a haze of smoke and where there’s smoke, there’s fire. In the back of his mind, that old clichéd saying floats around, mocking him with its cloying melodrama. 

Smoke. Fire. Jiwon. 

Yeah, that’s sounds about right. 

“You can’t smoke here”. 

So many things to say and that’s what comes out. It’s what his arrogance, ego and pride lets him say. Self Preservation wraps around him like a suit of armour because maybe he’s not prepared for this whole conversation but he will damm well make sure that he’s not gonna walk away with another wound this time. 

He sees Jiwon’s smile, downright feels it hitting his gut, before he sees the rest of his face, which remains shrouded in the gray fabric of one of those oversized hoodies that’s somehow too familiar by now.

“Gonna call the cops?”

Don’t take the bait, Hanbin. Don’t play with this. You’re a goddam professional remember? He knows he’s glaring pointedly while his head screams loudly at him but still, it can’t drown out the involuntary stuttering of his logic or the way he just wants to shake Jiwon’s shoulders and ask him where the hell he’s been for the last 3 weeks or how he still finds Jiwon’s presence so intoxicating in the all the best and worst ways...

“What?” Jiwon asks with a smirk, taking a slow drag of his cigarette before blowing the smoke towards the sky. “Smoking a crime now?”

Gathering whatever frayed nerves he has left, he feels his arms crossing over his body in a move he knows is defensive. “Not if you put that out.”

Another smile; wide, knowing, amused. Like this was playing out just as expected. 

There’s no protest though, just the stupidly arrogant roll of broad shoulders and crack of a neck as Jiwon snuffs the almost new cigarette against the wall of the clinic. It leaves behind ashy specks of grey that float to the ground like dead snowflakes and his eyes follow them for a moment before looking back up and locking straight into the fire of Jiwon’s eyes. 

He really wants to punch that smirk off his face. Stitches and scars be dammed.

“What are you doing here?” 

And just like that, the arrogance slides right off the face in front of him. He really should’ve known. The pit of ‘badness’ in his gut is rarely wrong.

“Just wanted to ask you a question.” Jiwon looks somewhere off into the distance and shrugs, the action could’ve been interpreted as casual or uncaring but Hanbin dares to let himself think otherwise, as stupid as that is. 

“Okay?” He says warily.

“The antibiotics you gave me didn’t really work. They did shit all actually.” 

Oh. This is about medicine. Of course it is. Why else would Jiwon be here?

“Are you still sick? I could-”

“It’s not me.” Jiwon interrupts harshly. “They weren’t for me.” 

There’s a frustrated grumble that he really doesn’t expect and a grimace that he does. The words are ground out of Jiwon’s mouth so emphatically and miserably, as though they’re taking a whole lot of effort and sacrificed pride. 

He immediately thinks of the worst things because negativity is his preferred mode these days. Maybe it’s Jiun. Maybe it’s a friend. Maybe it’s that girl-

“It’s my mum.”

Shit. 

That’s even worse. 

It’s probably comical really, how stupid and dumbfounded he looks with his mouth open, poised to say something that he can’t quite decide on. But just then, the clinic’s back door clicks open behind him and every muscle in his body tenses into hot panic. Jiwon takes a step backwards, hand suddenly reaching for something in his hoodie pocket, posture locked and loaded, ready to either fight or leave. 

Shit. 

“Er, Dr. Kim? Could I have a word?”

Jin. 

Relief floods through him in an exhilarating rush. Okay. It’s just Jin. He can deal with Jin. Maybe.

“Sure. Of course.” He replies, keeping his voice as civil and neutral as possible. 

Jin shoots him an equally neutral expression, nodding once before ducking back inside and closing the door. 

Letting out a loud sigh, he turns to Jiwon with an apologetic look. “Give me a minute? I’ll be back.” 

Jiwon’s gone back into Evasive-Mode again; his eyes dark and dead, his face an unreadable blank slate, his posture staying tense, even the hand in his hoodie stays there, seemingly unable to relax or let down its guard. 

“Jiwon?” 

Shutters boarded up, head already shaking, body already moving away. This is all too familiar. No no no, not again. 

“Jiwon? Can you wait a few minutes?.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll come back later. I gotta go pick up Jiun anyway.”

His watch tells him it’s 1230pm. School doesn’t finish until 3pm. So now they’re back to lying to each other again. It’s just so stupid and futile. Every conversation just goes round and round, like a dog chasing its tail or water circling down a drain. He wonders why it’s only him that’s getting frustrated by this. 

“I’ll only be a few minutes. Please....just wait.” He huffs out, tone accidentally more irritated than he intended it to be. Jiwon opens his mouth, probably to protest, but no, he’s not going to wait to hear it today. 

“For God’s sake, not everything is about you okay? Think of your mum and just wait for me! You came all his way, you can wait for 5 minutes!” 

Shit. Too far, Hanbin. Too far. There goes his professionalism. 

There’s a brief glaring-contest. Fire meets Fire again. But then, the last thing he expects to happen actually happens; Jiwon shakes his head, shrugs like he doesn’t give a shit and sits back down on the steps in silence. 

“Thank you.” He sighs in annoyance.

“Whatever.” Jiwon mutters, quietly but equally annoyed. 

He turns quickly, making his way inside before anything else happens.

“Are you seriously right now?!” The corridors are empty but Jin appears out of nowhere to hiss at him as soon as the back door clicks shut. “What the hell is he even doing here in the middle of the day?! Donghyuk is in his office! He could’ve seen you!”

A painful grip closes over his elbow as Jin drags him into his consult room and shuts the door. 

“Before you say anything-”

“Oh no! Don’t start with me! I’m talking first!” Jin interrupts, face livid with disapproval. “Deal with whatever he wants fast. He can’t be seen here and you’ve got three people waiting for consults. You are not fucking up your career and job for him. You’re not. Okay? I’ve seen this shit before and it never ends well. They’re all the same, Hanbin. You know this. Stop thinking with your dick on this one.”

He flushes with both embarrassment and indignation. “That is not what I’m doing!”

Jin just rolls his eyes and fixes him with a terrifying parental glare. “I’ll stall the clinic for 5 more minutes but after that, you’re on your own. Fix whatever he wants then tell him to fuck off or come back at 6 when everyone else has gone. I swear to god Hanbin, he’s doing this shit on purpose to piss us off. Since when has he ever come here early anyway? I swear to GOD!”

Jin yanks the door open, still ranting under his breath as he makes his way back out towards the front of the clinic. 

He rubs his eyes tired, willing his heart to slow down and his nervous system to chill the hell out. None of that actually happens. 

He half expects Jiwon be gone by no, there he is, still sitting on the back steps of the clinic and staring into the parking lot with a hypervigilant look on his face. 

“He yell at you?” It comes out gruff but oddly sympathetic. 

“Something like that.” He replies in resignation. “Listen. I need to get back to work but what do you need me to do for your mum? If she’s not well, I can see her here for an appointment? After hours if you want.”

Jiwon shakes his head. “She can’t leave the house. She’ll freak out.”

He doesn’t do house visits, especially not in this part of town but....

“Do you want me to see her at home?” It’s blurted out before he can stop it.

“No.”

“Then what?” He pushes, tired and anxious about the minutes ticking by. 

“I don’t know! Isn’t there anything you can give her? She’s coughing every fucking night and Jiun can’t sleep so he turns the TV on full blast, which means nobody is sleeping either so he’s missed three days of school and I can’t keep babysitting him instead of working.” 

For a moment, Jiwon sounds like a normal guy just trying to do his best for his family in the face of a bad situation. It’s so raw and honest and endearing that something thaws inside him. The coiled ball of irritation in his gut unravels in one fell swoop. Jiwon is just a guy. Like any other guy. 

Just a guy. 

But stupid, stupid, stubborn guy who might be good at killing and crime or whatever else they accuse him of but he’s useless with everything else. Hanbin doesn’t fully trust him, he’s still on edge and doesn’t feel completely safe yet but the dark shadows of worry that flashes across Jiwon’s face, for barely a second, is just enough to help him make his decision. 

He takes a pen and piece of crumpled paper out of his coat pocket and holds them out in front of Jiwon’s shocked expression. 

“What?”

“Write down where she is.”

“What? No. You’re not-”

“I’m not asking. Just do it. I have to get back to work.” He drops the items into Jiwons hands and wills his legs not to shake too much. This is so unprofessional. You’re an idiot Hanbin. 

Jiwon looks down at the pen and paper before standing up and making to give them back. “Look, I get you wanna help or whatever but I think she just needs some different tablets-”

“And you’re not a doctor.” He interrupts bluntly, folding his arms across his chest to stop them from trembling. “If you didn’t want help then you shouldn’t have come. So what’s it gonna be? Write it down or just leave Jiwon. I’m not standing here arguing with you all day.”

Part of him thinks he might’ve pushed this way way way too far today, his words coming out harsher and more aggressive than what he actually feels like on the inside. If Jiwon wants to stab him in the gut just for pissing him off then yeah, he probably deserves it. 

After a long pause, it comes as a shock to him that Jiwon just grunts out a quiet ‘fuck!’ under his breath and scrawls hastily on the piece of paper before turning so they’re looking at each other again.

Fire meeting Fire. 

“Here!” The crumpled scrap of paper is pushed against his chest. 

Jiwon’s gaze doesn’t shift from his. The once dark and dead eyes are now shiny and so sharp in a way that he didn’t know was possible to see in a human. 

“You heard about me?”

"What do you mean?”

“You heard about me.” Jiwon repeats. It’s not a question. More of a statement. “You know about me.”

“I don’t....” He shakes his head, his argument suddenly weak and not convincing anybody. “It’s just rumours...”

Jiwon laughs but the mirth doesn’t each his eyes at all. They’re still hard and piercing right into him. “You heard about me. So I don’t have to tell you what that piece of paper means do I?”

He swallows the lump in his throat and shakes his head, letting go of the charade. Yeah he knows. Yeah he’s heard all about Jiwon at this point but whether there’s any truth in the stories and myths remains to be seen.

“Alright then.” Jiwon nods, stepping back. “Come alone. If you think you’re being followed, just go straight home. Okay?”

“Okay.” 

The order terrifies him for some reason and a sick dragging feeling of unease settles into the pit of his stomach again. 

“Don’t fuck me over.” 

A violent shiver tears down his spine. There’s no politeness in the statement. No consideration spared. Whatever niceties they’ve exchanged before is forgotten. There’s nothing here now but menace and intimidation. 

It works. 

And in that moment, the cold, sobering, fucking terrifying realisation finally hits him: the rumours are true. This is Jiwon at ‘work’. This is what he does. 

He can’t even speak after that. Jiwon is still staring sharply at him in expectation and it’s not until he forces his head to nod that Jiwon regards him one last time before turning to walk away without saying anything at all. 

He doesn’t stop shaking for the next five consults and is so nauseated that he skips lunch altogether. Jin is still pissed so he’s left to have his mental breakdown alone in his room. 

The crumpled piece of paper burns a hole in his pocket and by the time 6pm ticks by, he feels the heavy, draining exhaustion right in his bones. He doesn’t even bother to stop his hands from shaking as he pulls the paper out to read the messy scrawl. 

Fuck. 

Here goes nothing. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[porkchop-ao3]

I’m always here for FC Rick. Maybe what he does with female reader when the band isn’t touring and they’re taking time off?

This was a nice request… Thank you :)

-

I stared down at Rick as he slept. Face down, snores muffled by the pillow, he was completely naked aside from the leather choker around his neck that seemed ever present. I let my eyes roll down the ridges in his spine as it curved nicely down to his cute little ass. I smiled fondly, weirdly endeared by the pale, round cheeks that were so innocently exposed to me. The temptation to put my hands on him was real, but the last thing I wanted to do was wake him up. He needed his sleep, the poor guy.

He’d just finished a tour, covering twelve planets over eight Galaxy’s, and I knew it would’ve been months since he’d had a real chance to rest. Between the shows, the wild parties, the practice sessions and full on days of exploring each planet with me, he barely managed to get three hours a night. It didn’t help that he was spoon fed drugs and alcohol the entire time he was on tour, and despite what the bags under his eyes said he insisted he was never too tired to give me a good rogering. At this point his body was completely spent. It always was after his tours. That was why it had become a sort of tradition that he booked a week, sometimes more, in the swankiest hotel he could find on whatever alien planet we were on. He’d spend the time sleeping, and when he’d had enough of that he’d spend the rest of the time recuperating. We’d lounge around the hotel all day; watching TV, indulging in room service, and having lots and lots of laid back make out sessions.

Nothing was forced or took effort, the two of us made sure of that. We rarely left the room, unless the hotel had a pool or a hot tub somewhere; then we made sure to take advantage of it. While he was on tour, Rick was almost constantly surrounded by people, whether it be his band mates, his fans, or the people running the establishments they played at, it was tough for him to get a moment to himself. Sometimes I even felt bad about him having to spend time with me, when I knew he could use just a few hours of solitude. Of course Rick had scoffed at this, telling me I was being ridiculous. It made me feel better for a while, but I still gave him his space on the first couple of days after his tour. I only woke him up every now and then to get some food into him, other than that, I left him to it, often exploring the nearby area on my own.

We were on day three of our ‘vacation’, and Rick had been sleeping for the past fourteen hours. It was midday, and I knew he’d be waking up soon enough feeling hungry, so I went ahead and ordered some room service. Being on an alien planet, none of the food was familiar, and it was usually hit or miss as to whether what you received was palatable or not. But Rick and I had found a few solid options over the past couple of days, so I ordered those and wrapped up in the deep red silk kimono that Rick had bought for me about three tours ago. It was about the closest thing I got to ‘dressed’ on these occasions, it was a sort of unspoken rule that being naked was comfortable and was the most appropriate state to be in when one was recuperating. Plus it made sex a lot more convenient, with none of those pesky clothes to get in the way.

The food came quickly, and I opened the door to receive it from the scaly red humanoid who delivered it. I thanked them in English, and it seemed they understood, before I closed the door and wheeled the fancy trolley over to the bed. Rick stirred, probably smelling his late breakfast arriving. The food was all sweet in nature, and I assumed it was all made with unfamiliar fruit, native to this planet. There was something close to pastry incorporated into some of the dishes, others were gelatinous, some cold, some hot. They were all desert-like, and very yummy.

“Hey.” I said softly, taking a seat on the bed next to Rick as he opened his eyes, blinking up at me. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, rolling onto his back.

“Mmm, food.” He mumbled, breathing in through his nose as he sat up. He leaned over to me, planting a kiss on the side of my head. “You’re an angel.” He told me, chuckling. He scooted to the edge of the bed and tucked into the food, munching away quietly for a while. I picked up one of the pastry items, since it looked too good to resist.

“Are you awake now?” I asked him. My question wasn’t literal, of course he was awake. But Rick knew what I was getting at.

“Y-yeah. I think I can grace you w-with my consciousness for a while.” He smirked. “That tour was a rough one, ho-how long have we been here for?” He asked, licking a blob of fruity goo from the corner of his mouth.

“This is the third day.” I told him. The days often blended together for him, since he slept for around eighty percent of the time.

“The th-third? Oh man. Sorry, y-you must’ve been bored shitless.” he said, and I laughed in response, shaking my head.

“I can have fun without you, you know.” I teased, polishing off the pastry and licking my fingers. He raised a brow at me and spun to face me, bringing one leg up onto the bed and hooking it behind me, scooting himself closer.

“Is-is that so?” He asked, and I nodded my head. “So what have you been doing?”

“I went for a walk around the city yesterday, looked in some of the shops. I didn’t buy anything; the clothes here are… very strange.” I snorted. The fashion on this planet was exactly how old sci-fi films interpreted futuristic fashion; everything was either metallic silver or transparent. “There’s a nice park down the road, it has a pond with all sorts of weird fish in it. I spoke to an alien there who knew English.”

“What did’ya talk about?” He asked with a mouthful of food.

“Mostly about earth. They don’t get many human visitors here, do they?” I said, and Rick shook his head, a laugh escaping him.

“Nowhere does. You and I are the only hu-humans with the ability to travel to different planets and di-dimensions.” He reminded me and I nodded my head, glancing over at the buffet.

“Oh yeah. I forget I’m dating the smartest human being in existence, sometimes.” I smirked. Rick hummed in approval, his chest puffing out slightly at the flattery. “So I’ve got you all to myself for the next few days, hmm?”

“If-if you want me.” He confirmed. I hooked two fingers in the ring on his choker, and urged him close to me. I pressed a kiss to his lips, he tasted sugary and sweet, and I ran my tongue over his bottom lip out of instinct. He chuckled and pulled away slightly, denying me access. “You’re gonna want me t-to brush my teeth. It’s been th-three days.” He told me, and I let him go, dropping down onto my back, sinking into the puffy cushions beneath me.

“Like I care. I’ve put my tongue in worse places.” I said, and he gave a deep laugh.

“True. B-but even I think my mouth tastes like shit.” He said, stuffing his face a little more before disappearing to the bathroom. I closed my eyes and waited, planting my hands behind my head as I relaxed into the impossible softness of the bed. I didn’t know what the hell these aliens used to stuff their mattresses, but humans were sleeping on goddamn rocks back at home.

I didn’t hear Rick return, but I felt his hands tug on the tie around my waist that was keeping my kimono together; he parted the silk, exposing my body to him. I hummed pleasantly as he pressed his face into my stomach, dragging his nose and his lips up my body, planting wet kisses on my skin. His thumbs rubbed circles on my hip bones, and he crawled up my body, kissing my nipples one by one before moving his attention up to my neck. I pushed my fingers into his hair, staring up at the ceiling as he showered me with affection. His tongue drew dainty patterns up to my ear, and he took a moment to suck on my earlobe. He then nibbled on the shell of my ear, before moving his lips to my face. I stared at his closed eyes as he dotted my face with kisses, before finally giving me what I needed and connecting our lips.

His kiss was slow and passionate, his lips moving with mine almost like a dance. If I had to pick a genre, it would be the tango. I trailed my hands up his back, tangling my fingers in his hair as he nipped at my lip, soothing me quickly after with a gentle sweep of his tongue. I coaxed his tongue into my mouth, continuing that dance in the warmth of our mouths. He moaned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, rolling onto his back and pulling me on top of him. There was no urgency in our movements, no burning need to advance the situation, we simply enjoyed the kiss as it was.

Rick fiddled with the tie of my kimono, running his fingers down the strip of silk before holding onto my waist. It was my turn to explore his body with my mouth, and I broke the kiss to press my lips underneath his jaw, feeling the prickly brush of his stubble. I secretly loved it when he went a few days without shaving; a stubble really suited him. I grazed my teeth over his neck, hooking my fingers once again in the ring on his choker, giving little tugs. My lips followed the planes of his body down to his chest, and I let my hand continue the journey on down to his abdomen, feeling the subtle muscle tone there, and how it contracted when my touch stooped low. I straightened up, looking down at his eyes; they were glazed over with adoration, and it made my heart swell.

His hands moved to cup my breasts and he sat up to bury his face there, nipping and sucking on the soft flesh. I gave breathy moan, reaching my hand down to where his cock lay against his hip, half hard. I stroked him gently, hearing his breath become laboured as I worked him to his full length. Once he was there, I pushed him onto his back by his shoulders, adjusting my position so I could grind my pussy up and down his hard length. He pushed his hips up into me, exhaling with a hiss and a grunt. I played with my breasts above him, giving him a show as I coated his erection with my own lubrication. He reached out to thumb my clitoris, stroking it in quick circles.

I was a panting mess by the time he gripped my hips and rolled me off of him. He guided me to lay on my side, my back to him, and he brought a hand behind my knee, lifting it up so he could slide his cock between my legs. He entered me from behind, and quickly began rocking into me. I whimpered and leaned my head back against his shoulder, holding onto the sheets below me for support. He kissed my neck as he thrust into me, reaching his hand down to work my clit again.

His pace quickened, and so did my heart rate, I could do no more than gasp and pant and take it. Rick murmured unintelligibly into my ear, and I could only manage to pick up the occasional word. “Beautiful… so good, I’m gonna… I love… baby.”

His other hand snaked underneath me and could just about reach my breast, he pawed at me, squeezing and pinching my nipple, gently rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. The stimulation that simply surrounded me was becoming too much, and I could feel my end draw closer. Rick seemed to sense this, and fucked me harder, the bed rocking with the force of it, the rhythmic slapping of skin on skin sounding out across the otherwise quiet room. The two of us became more vocal, Rick’s heavy breaths and deep grunts were a constant, along with my breathy sighs and pathetic sounding little mewls.

“Cum for me. I know y-you’re close.” Rick whispered into my ear. “Mmm, I can feel it with how tight and wet you are. I’m gonna nut so fuckin’ hard. Are you ready baby?” He purred, and I shook violently, my muscles coiled as I teetered on the edge. “Unng, fuck, p-please…” he suddenly wailed, sounding desperately aroused, and those words finally pushed me off that edge.

“Fuck! Mmm, fu-” I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut as he fucked me through each intense wave of my orgasm. Rick laughed in delight behind me, but it was cut in half by a sharp intake of breath. I opened my eyes in time for him to pull out of me, rub his cock against my slit a few times before I had the pleasure of watching him shoot his load between my legs. It spurted across the mattress at an impressive distance, and he bit down on my shoulder to stop the slew of curses that usually poured from his mouth during orgasm, instead all I heard was a broken wail and heavy, shaky breaths. It sure was a beautiful thing to witness, and I moaned in appreciation.

With a pleased sigh, he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him so my head was laying on his chest and his arm was draped around my waist. I laid there being gently rocked by the heavy rise and fall of his chest, and placed my hand over his. Neither of us said a word, not feeling the need to fill the silence. Rick planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I knew right then that I’d found a keeper.

[raulf-o]

I Write Sins... Not Tragedies 37 & 38 - Time of Dying & I Wear This Because Life is War

Intoxicating, is the only way I’d describe my sick mind as I see her leave the apartment for work. The flood of reoccurring questions I see incoming is absolutely terrifying, sending me in a frenzy as they all hit at once. My arms start to shake, my neck starts to hurt, and this unquenchable thirst to scream and punch something is all I feel as I try to avert my consciousness from any of the worries and questions that drawn me in sorrow and anxiety. Pacing around the apartment, with more and more adrenaline flowing through me, my flight or fight response is slowly overflowing as my movements become more and more sudden. Circles clockwise, circle clockwise, I make circles clockwise. Then, stop. Turn right and with the determination of a bull I start to stroll up, turn quickly around and down the hallway. Up… And down. Up… And then down. Quicker and quicker I move until I find myself exhausted with the watch on my wrist beeping that I’ve done ten thousand steps in just the hour and a half since I woke up. So I stop. Though, maybe I shouldn’t have… As it was a mistake.

I grasp for air but take a whole mouth of panic inducing questions as I swallow feeling my heart beat faster and faster. My heart is pounding in my chest, resonating throughout my body. So, I lay in bed. Eyes wide open. Once more stuck looking at the ceiling as my body is taking a trip on its own and I try to keep my mind in place from drifting towards any other new dangerous places. My ears start to ring a tune I grew accustomed to. Minutes pass, there is no new feeling I’m feeling as I go through this once more as is routine by now. There is no escape. There is nowhere to run. There is nothing else to do. I feel the waves overwhelm me as I hold onto the bed and the mattress thinking of thinking no thoughts. Because no thought is better than any thought right now. Yet, I can’t live without thought. It’s the thing I need the most to work with. And that’s how my panic deepens even further. I can’t hear much, not that I even want to hear anything, so I close my eyes thinking that maybe a quick nap.

Do I even feel anything properly anymore? Or are all my senses turned to eleven? Is this how Spidey’s spider sense feels? A tingle throughout your body? Sometimes it feels strange to know that you are just a brain in a jar of bones, meat and liquids. And yet, even aware of this fact, I sit here and tremble with anxiety. Anxiety, how ridiculous is that? Anxiety doesn’t make sense. It’s irrational. It’s so unbelievable to me. The more you deconstruct these the reality we live in, the more absurd it gets. Due to the fact that my gooey blob in my oval skeleton somehow has electricity in it, I get spooked. Why? Because I can see things with two gelatinous blobs in the same oval skeleton or hear with two tubes that somehow also go into the big tube that you can shove things down on and also breath through. Which are all in the same skeleton part, because of course they are. So then the jellyfish interprets it as something you must fear or run away from. Why? Because. I don’t know. We might be aware of the fact that we’re aware, yet are we truly aware if we can’t go past this whole subconscious thing the gooey electric blob has? I’m afraid of how I might think if I were on drugs? If these are my thought sober.

The weird thing is that I were to tell this to anyone, they wouldn’t understand and then I’d get even more anxious. I mean, how can you not get excited about this sort of stuff? Especially when you think that you think things with almost a literal jellyfish that named itself. And then there are people that don’t have a little voice in their heads like I do when they think. Which is even more mind blowing. Existence itself is an abomination that for now doesn’t make sense. If there is no sense before existence that we know how to explain, then how can there be sense in what we do and have right now? Religions and all that spiritual stuff simply isn’t satisfactory. It feels like giving up responsibility, sense and any need for an answer. And I can’t have that if I’m meant to create a sense for who I ought to be, at least. I don’t know. I’m afraid of being wrong. No… Not wrong. Wrong is the wrong word here. I’m afraid of being a bad person. I want to do good, be a decent person at least. And when there’s nothing to approve what you are doing it’s anxiety inducing. I hate feeling like I can’t explain or express myself, when I do it just fine.

And so I spend my days trying to fall asleep when I can’t, trying to work when I can’t, trying to feel normal, when there is no normal. Then after all is said and done, I feel bad for everything I’ve ever thought of or have done. So you wonder what the fuck, when you feel you are stuck in this pit of hell where the only thing that satisfies you is literally doing nothing of importance. As any responsibility feels like a burden and any work feels like you are disappointing someone or indeed, everyone. What do I want? What do I need? Who am I anymore when you drift away to places you have no places being at? All my drive, my will for success, my dreams seem futile in the face of people who chow down without thinking. I don’t want to think about that anymore, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Well, at least it’s exhausting to think of these things. I can fall asleep in peace knowing that when I wake up, everything could be slightly better or just worse than it was before.

Sometimes, much like now, I feel like I just can’t care to save my life. Like what am I going to do? Save the world? Change people’s minds? Go and fall face first into a pile of money? Get a call from a publishing house telling me that they’d love to pay me a few hundred thousand to publish a book? Delusions! Delusions! I tell you. Dreams of grandeur without the ability to put in any effort is like trying to take a shit whilst constipated, nothing’s gonna come out of it. You know what, I’m not going to continue the rest of the analogy I had, hah. And so, have passed thirty minutes of me trying to calm myself down from a panic attack, yet instead of taking a nap, I distracted myself with weird thoughts that only make sense to me and me alone, which is sad, cause I’d like to share these with people. But how can I share any of those with people when people don’t even understand sarcasm in text? Yet they all say that they have their second language as sarcasm. The only second language you have, Stacy, is the Starbucks menu and the Sephora catalog. Well, this was unexpected, I say as the phone starts to ring…

Hope you liked this two chapter short story of I Write Sins… Not Tragedies. I know I didn’t post last week, this is why we have this two chapter this Saturday. But I was busy trying to reinstall stuff, refind things that I’ve lost with the new Windows install. That, and losing all my bookmarks from the past three years. And it being a very hectic weekend and week overall. If you liked it and want to support and keep the short stories free, you can always donate at: https://www.paypal.me/RaulFO

[akria23]

See...the devil...

So I hear about this manwha that’s supposed to have torture, killing, some gay, and that sounds like my type of shit. I fucks with that...I fucks with that all day. So I go to the tag to check it out and I’m bombarded with the stupidity out the gate. The tag is full of ‘You can’t ship this’ motherfuckers. Apparently you can’t ship it cause its abusive....people don’t care. So since they don’t care about that element it becomes a ‘its not even gay it has nothing to do with gay’ battle which disregards the BL genre, the supposedly obsessive attraction (crush) from one male lead to another, and damn it the readers right to interpret and ship what the fuck they want to regardless of how you feel.

So I’m like wooooo um nah, I’ll come back back cause I’ll be arguing with bitches mad hard. If there is one thing I don’t like is for someone to think they have the nerve to tell me who I can and cannot ship and the WHY I can/cannot ship them. You got me fucked all the way up. You can lick my ass crack, because if you’re gonna have your head up my ass at least let me get some enjoyment out of it. But instead of being a rude as bitch and forming a one woman army in the rights to ship...I made my post and said I’ll be back when the ‘you can’t ship this bitches’ die off.

But of course the Devil decides to manifest himself, because this is the internet and its open season on dumbasses, so I get this reply that says “ uh because its a fucking abusive relationship, dumbass.” and then...for some reason stupid had to clarify “ its even depicted as one soooooo”

But I like giving chances before I get gully... so... @squid--bae who the fuck were you talking to boo?! You have the nerve...the audacity to come into my post...my blog home...with idiocy...why?! Who the fuck asked you to clarify something we all already know?! Who told you that your opinion mattered? This is not we are the world so if you need a reminder...Your Opinion Don’t Matter! Underhanded or otherwise. And before you call someone a dumbass make sure your shit is relevant. You’re on lane W worrying about whats going on over here on lane A. Mind yoself boo...I don’t wanna hurt no feelings. Be mindful of how you talk to me and bitches in my post.

@limpdicksamurai Thanks for the help...but you too confuse me... Its moments like these where I’m like...what did I miss, how did I go wrong. That is not at all what I was saying. Its possible and okay to ship the pairing exactly as they are... I’m not out here trying to make no AU...not trying to justify...not trying to re-imagine nothing. And thats not to say theres anything wrong with people who do that...but thats not what I’m speaking on at all. My post says exactly what I meant - I will be back to consume this story and its fandom once the BS’ers scatter and few remain because arguing on the daily would be my thing if I go in with things as is - which is what I said. So I don’t know why squid bob thought it right to talk about the abuse...like we’re idiots who don’t all know its there. Or how you got to healthy ville (a word I hate btw cause I don’t believe such a thing exist). But I’m used to a rabbit holes from my other fandom...so maybe this is some big blob confusion, that one of you can help mend for me. Did tumblr fuck up? Was this a missed conversation? I’m just curious, lie, I’m a suspicious mind when 2 and 2 don’t add up, she as in me, starts asking questions. Anywho, Thanks for jumping in the good fight to stick up for someone else and their right to fiction. It bothers me that people, no matter what fandom you go into its this same battle where people feel like they get to control what others consume and how they consume it. So Thank You,

All in...the point is...when it has to deal with my post or those who participate in it...lets all remember...

[firstpuffin]

The English Language and why it’s fascinating. Potentially part One.

For something that we use so casually and on such a regular basis, often without a thought, language is an astonishingly fascinating… thing. Wow, I should really be better at this.

  So I’m in my third and final year of university where one of the things that I have been studying is the English Language. There has been an unfortunate focus on the sounds of English which I struggle with (I suspect this is due to me being dyspraxic but that is a topic for another time) but I have still had the opportunity to learn a lot and I figured I could try and share some of what attracts me to language in order to share the love and to encourage you to look into it yourselves.

 I figure I’ll start with what I brought up earlier; language is astonishing. We humans are the only species to have language (do I really need to add the caveat “on Earth”?). Yes animals can communicate, but they don’t Talk. They don’t discuss things, they don’t have a means of bringing up abstract concepts and they don’t have different ways of saying the same thing.

  There is the matter of Koko the gorilla who was taught sign language and apparently used it to communicate a number of things thought to be uniquely human. Now we don’t know for sure what was going on in her head, and critics suggested that things weren’t quite as they seemed, but it is one of an increasing number of examples of animals being smarter than we thought. Still, sign language is a human creation all the same and learning is not the same as developing.

  The more words a person has access to the better they can express and even understand ideas; Japan used to consider green to be a shade of blue and didn’t consider green to be its own colour until after World War II. You may see their traffic lights as being red, orange and blue. And the more words you know about a subject the better you can explain it, and quite possibly understand it. How would you explain a round plate without using the word round? Circular? Well what if you didn’t know that word?

  How would you describe anything if you didn’t know any adjectives? How would you understand the difference between round plates and square plates if you didn’t have the words round and square? They would be different, yes, but how would you describe or interpret these differences? A plate is a plate, what’s the difference? I hope you understand what I am trying to say but I can easily understand why you wouldn’t, so let me try something else.

  Superfluous is a word that I really like, although using it in conversation is usually superfluous in and of itself. The word basically means extra or unnecessary, like “in and of itself” where “by itself” would suffice. But the reason why I like it so much is because while extra or excess or even unnecessary all have positive connotations of abundance and “something to spare”, superfluous feels redundant. If I say something is superfluous then there is no misconception about whether the excess is good or not, superfluous is bad. Superfluous is that online arsehole who uses big fancy words to try and sound good and refers to themselves as “an intellectual”.

  I hope that’s gotten across to you guys but regardless of whether or not it did, I’m moving onto the history of the English Language after this last example. Have you ever stumbled upon one of those web-pages where they have a list of words from other languages that perfectly describe something that English requires an entire sentence for?

  I’ll provide examples of these lists but I’m going to bring up an example of my own: I like Japanese stuff, manga and anime and the like, and one thing that I have noticed is that sometimes the translators will retain the word “nakama” instead of translating it. Yes this can be annoying if no reason is given, but sometimes they take the time at the start of an episode or chapter to explain this. See, nakama can translate to comrade or companion or such, but it appears to have a stronger emotion attached to it. The way that I choose to understand it is by quoting something my nan had hanging by her door: “Friends are the family we choose for ourselves”. This is a line that has stuck with me ever since I first saw it and let me tell you, my memory is awful; it does however appear to fit the definition of “nakama”.

  An entire sentence to describe one word.

  So into the history of the English language we go! Now I’m not gonna pretend that I have never said some stupid, offensive and probably racist shit as I grew up, I was a pretty dumb kid (by which I mean I was dumb for what, 18 years?) but I at least never intended to be racist and having had more experience I can say that I know better now. I grew up thinking of racism as bloody stupid and this I usually ascribe to knowing that England is a melting pot of different cultures and so what’s the point of racism?

  This small island started off as the home of the Celts, or at least some of them (Celt is a term used for a large number of people, but I’m gonna use it explicitly to refer to those who lived in England before the Romans came along) and they spoke what can only really be described as Celtic. Then the Romans came along, kicked ass and made Latin the dominant (note the word “dominant”) language. Around this time there were the Celts, the Picts and the Scots.

  The Picts were settled in what is now called Scotland, and the Scots lived in Ireland; just to make things a bit more interesting, the Picts originally came to the British Isles via Ireland and were chased off by the Scots. See? Language is fun!

  Anyway, Celtic was mostly overridden by Latin, but the Romans had to leave to defend the Empire and the Celts were suddenly at risk from both the Scots and the Picts. One of the kings (possibly the same Vortigern from some King Arthur tales) asked the Saxons to come over and protect them. This brought the Saxons, the Angles and the Jutes, collectively known as the Anglo-Saxons (and Angle becoming Angle-land and later into England) who chased off the invaders only to decide to stick around themselves, bringing their Germanic languages along with them.

  It also seems that the Celts were kicked into what we now call Wales which comes from Wealas, meaning “foreigner” (which is ironic as they were called that by invading foreigners).

  Then some hundred years later the Vikings came along and brought their Scandinavian languages along, adding to the melting pot of language. And finally came the Norman invasion bringing French with them and that my friends is what we call Middle English. Yes, Modern English is more complicated still; see, French was the dominant language in England for a long while but that doesn’t mean that the English and the French got along. There were a number of wars between the two countries and a number of English kings, particularly Henry III and Henry V (I can’t tell you what happened to Henry IV) started using English more often than French as an act of solidarity to their people, particularly the working classes who still used English.

  Isn’t it amazing how death does so much for language? Invasions, wars and finally the Black Death. Yes, the infamous bubonic plague which killed a third of our population helped English become what it is today. A large part of that third was the workforce which naturally increased demand and wages became competitive. With larger incomes came the opportunity to rise in the social ranks and as they did, so did their language. Now French was still used by the upper classes but if you think of English as a gelatinous blob that absorbs whatever it touches then you should get the idea of what happened.

  I quite like that gelatinous blob analogy. English has no shape of its own and so it continues to change and grow as it absorbs more and more from other languages: Japanese, Italian and even American. Had the internet not been a thing then it wouldn’t surprise me if American English had eventually became its own language, yet technology keeps us in contact enough that many of the changes lead by America becomes assimilated by us Brits, in keeping with the very nature of English.

 So that seems to be enough for now, I need to upload this, or really anything, soon. Maybe I can do a part two; language is fascinating for all sorts of reasons so there is a lot of potential content. I’d like to close up with a phrase I heard during the time this took to write, and it is one of the things that I love about our language: the flexibility and potential for humour. This example shows how two words with similar meanings can also mean such different things.

              “I may be predictable, but at least I’m consistent.”