#like how do we go from refusing to condemn your creations for their mistakes to nuking the entire planet?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

onaf · 4 years ago

Text

Of Dogs and Children

Believers in Christ have their hang-ups, their own theological baggage when it comes to the faith. This doesn’t always come in the form of outright denial of the core tenets of the Christian religion. But it can mean there are teachings that are quick to be absorbed mentally, yet slow to penetrate the heart.

For me, one of the most difficult things to understand at heart about Christ is how He condescends to sinners like myself. When I read Matthew 11: 28-30, Christ’s character takes on a peculiar timbre:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

To some, this may be an inconsequential passage. But I wonder how one can think that! What is easier for me to understand is that Christ - the One through whom the universe was created - has authority to judge the living and the dead. It isn’t hard for me to accept how He performed miracles, for what is difficult for the Christ? Theophanies? Old Testament prophecies about Jesus? Awesome!

But a Christ that is lowly? A savior that is gentle when with but one word He could annihilate all that is unholy (namely myself)? A King to whom I am - by rights - condemned forever, but gave Himself as a ransom for me? More food for thought from Hebrews 4:14-16...

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

I think many of us can understand that God would be a righteous judge against ungodliness, that He has wrath against sin, that He wields great power, and that He is holy. But I hope I’m not alone in finding His closeness to the downtrodden, the fallen, and the broken as being really hard to wrap my mind around!

This is a deeply practical problem. You can’t divorce theological conviction from how you live your daily life. Finding Christ’s meekness a difficult concept to absorb, I sometimes lean toward an imbalanced life. Without meditating enough on Christ’s mercy and sympathy to the struggles of a wicked man like myself, I gravitate more toward what I believe I do understand: my wretchedness.

What do you get when you have a believer who understands that he is a sinner deserving of eternal judgement but struggles to accept that he is a recipient of mercy? Though his heart yearns for Christ and His righteousness, a lie makes the honest truths seem beyond reach. The lie is: your redemption is insignificant.

A heart in this condition is divided. The honest hope of this man is truly in Christ, and his salvation has been secured already by the grace of God. But a pernicious untruth has craned the neck of this believer to look inward at the remaining filthiness of sin and to believe this to be the most accurate representation of his state. The Spirit-led part of his heart hopes for the Kingdom of God, but - since his focus has been on the irredeemable sin of his flesh - he has been convinced that the honest hopes of his heart are actually born of self-deception. It is a confusion of the highest order, one that prevents a Christian from living out his true calling with his undivided attention - and a confusion with which I am well-acquainted.

In short, instead of believing that I am a child of God by grace, a fallen part of me condemns me as if I was not. So, in my weaker moments, my heart resorts to an unholy compromise: that perhaps I am welcome in the house of God, but only as a dog. I may be in the dining room, but I only lay on the floor and eat the crumbs from the table while others more worthy garner God’s more rapt attention.

Matthew 15:24-28 says...

“He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ But she came and knelt before Him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ And He answered, ‘It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.’ She said ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ Then Jesus answered her, ‘O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.”

There’s a theme there that I grabbed onto a long time ago. I knew that I had been bought with a price, the Lord wouldn’t let me forget that. But my heart refused to unfocus from my sinful nature. It instead used this passage in Matthew and keep me where I didn’t belong. The mistake in my thinking was that Christ redeemed me who was dead in my trespasses and sins (Eph. 2:1) and made me a dog - a second rate, quasi-Christian. For the hopeless, going from being dead to being a dog isn’t that bad of a deal. Unless you know better, it’s a great deal. From being cast into outer darkness to at least being in your gracious masters’ dining room is a worthy trade! Everyone knows, however, a dog has no share in the inheritance of the master's children.

But this falls short of what the Bible teaches. To settle for being a dog is a tragedy when, in reality, you’ve been adopted as a son or daughter! The obsession with relegating oneself to the station of a cur is to, in reality, choose to disbelieve the promises of God. It is a tacit allegation of dishonesty on God’s part - saying that He is either not that mighty to save or that your sin makes you an exception to the redemptive rule. This is faithlessness hidden under the veil of fake piety.

Consider the following:

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2

But most importantly, this:

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:31-39

To say to your own soul that the best God did for you was to bring you from death to a grudgingly-awarded spot on the floor in His general vicinity (with the unspoken threat of expulsion for the slightest mistake) is to do violence to His mighty ability to bring about your salvation (Zeph. 3:17). Why does my heart insist on its own harm by attempting to shackle God’s redemptive work?

One of the greatest resources I’ve encountered lately in dealing with this struggle is found in The Bruised Reed, by the Puritan Richard Sibbes. A great quote here:

“If Christ should not be merciful to our weaknesses, He should not have a people to serve Him. Suppose therefore we are very weak, yet so long as we are not found amongst malicious opposers and underminers of God’s truth, let us not give way to despairing thoughts; we have a merciful Saviour.” (pg. 58)

Even to those who are in Christ but find themselves in sin - as we do all too often - there is hope. Sibbes continues:

“What course shall such take to recover their peace? They must condemn themselves sharply, and yet cast themselves upon God’s mercy in Christ, as at their first conversion. And now they must embrace Christ the more firmly, as they see more need in themselves; and let them remember the mildness of Christ here, that He will not quench the smoking flax.” (pg. 60)

Through these struggles, I have learned some things:

Christ is indeed lowly enough in heart so as to understand our weakness and not despise it.

The redemption that true believers find in Him is no lie, it is not done by half measures - since it is with the death and resurrection of Christ’s whole body that we have been purchased. Thus, the redemption is total, to be fully seen in due time.

To doubt one’s standing with God after being redeemed by Christ is to accuse Him of being less than He is. Do you believe Him to be an effective Savior? Then you must trust that He is qualified to save!

When a sinner is saved by grace, it is to no small and insignificant station. Consider the following:

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” Romans 8:15-17

Where, then, is there room for God’s children to act as though they are just dogs at the dining room table?

#Christianity church puritan puritans salvation doubt bible scripture dogs children despair hope Jesus Christ

6 notes · View notes

stevenuniversetanzanite · 5 years ago

Text

The Angel Among Us (Cordelia X reader) Part 7

Last part for this yay! Honestly thought this chapter would be longer. I’ll work on Venable one again soon but it will be easier with this out of the way. God what am I going to do when this is all done? Another series I guess.

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6, Part 7

Sequel: Fallen Angel

One the first day light was created, the second, sky. One the third day, dry lands and the sea was created, plants blossomed and grew throughout Pangea. The fourth day - the Sun, Moon and stars were created. Sea and sky animals on the fifth and humans and those of the land the next. The seventh was a day of rest and was made a holy day.

Now you might be asking, how the hell was light created if the sun or stars didn’t exist? The answer is- stop thinking this comes from a book written and translated over 100 times, there is bound to be errors. Also, humans weren’t there until the sixth day, so who the hell knows what happened.

Man was crafted in the likeness of the creator which humans named God. Fashioned out of dust, the first man was made. He and many to follow would return to said state after death. A human woman was crafted out of one of the man’s ribs.

Humans were riddled with sin from their creation. Eve, the woman crafted from the man, Adam’s rib wasn’t the first woman created for the man. Another made from the dust to act as Adam’s wife. She refused to lay beneath Adam during sex or let the man exert dominance over her. This wasn’t in god’s plan. When they couldn’t get the first wife back, that’s when God made Eve. She however, sinned to, stealing an apple from the tree of knowledge.

Ten generations passed, and humankind became more corrupt. The land was purged, a rain poured for forty days and nights and the rest were history.

Not everything was destroyed in the rain. Not all of God’s failures could be erased. The conniving snake that tricked Adam and Eve back in the garden lived on. For he was not a snake but the devilish fallen angel casted out of heaven. Along with the snake was the garden of Eden. Now it was hidden way from the world, saved as a memory of the failures of humanity. Only the truest of heart could find it- that or those who know how to find it.

The Sanctuary, humans last hope. Well it was until you got to it.18 months in a plant covered heaven. Hidden behind a waterfall within a mountain. It was like living in ‘Journey to the Centre of The Earth’. Planted in the middle was the tree containing forbidden fruit. This time there was no snake not that you needed one when you were with the child of hell himself.

“You’ve been a loyal ally,” he said as he looked over your shoulder to the tree. The leaves were a luscious green and the apples were a vibrant green. A trunk sat beside the tree; you knew the boy had it brought here before the two of you entered this life-sized terrarium. An ecosystem that had remained untouched for billions of years and would have remained that way if you both weren’t there to disrespect the space. The blonde man you had accompanied, plucked an apple and handed it to you.

The bombs had gone off leaving this land the only place to be left untouched by the nuclear weapons. Ironically, the first place to exist is and will most likely be the last place to contain life. Satan’s kingdom would be crafted on the foundations he recked for humanity. The ‘Sanctuary’ was the perfect place.

As the story goes, one man and one woman take a bite of the forbidden fruit.

“I know how this story goes,” you said, raising the apple to your lips.

“Then you’ll know it wasn’t the snake that made them pay but their God.” Michael had a point. You’d been with him this long, if he wanted to kill you know it would be a waste. There was no one to condemn you for your sins. “You seek answers but refuse to hear the answers. That fruit in your hands contains all the answers in the universe. Anything you need to know is at your fingertips. It’s up to you choose to accept the gift of clarity.”

“And if it changes my outlook on you or myself?”

“Me? Certainly not. But you? I can’t predict.”

You gazed down at the shiny apple. Gripping it in both hands you rip it in half and handed on half to the man.

“Together,” you said. You both ate your respective part of the apple.

“Now, what did you see?”

~~~

An angel- a spiritual being believed to act as an attendant, agent, or messenger of God, conventionally represented in human form with wings and a long rob. Living humans are only known to have witnessed two of the nine types of angels of which the two lowest forms, guardian and archangels, mingle among man. The others had no purpose among mortals.

Your creation happened long after the creation of earth but before the time of Jesus. You were an archangel, responsible for managing life on Earth, including the creation and facilitation of soul contracts, life paths, the spiritual development of souls, order within the natural world etc. You were lowest out of the level for your reputation as replacement of a former angel, Lucifer.

You didn’t understand the importance of your job, why care for these humans? Let them do it themselves. You never witnessed the years of evil all caused by one fallen angel.

You, the 2.0, crafted in his likeness with the removal of his ill-intent. You knew what you were, they didn’t bother hiding that. You knew him to be pure evil, corrupter of God’s plan.

Free will, something you weren’t allowed to have. We were all meant to be subservient to the Lord. He, the morning star, was the first to be cast out of heaven. He was defiant, not agreeing with god. All he would’ve had to do was simply said “I sinned, I submit, please forgive me,” and the matter would’ve been resolved. But he was too arrogant, feeling too proud to bow down. He used his own logic and blamed God for misguiding him. Why would God give them knowledge if they weren’t meant to use it?

Your life was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was never yours to begin with.

Human’s didn’t belong in the kingdom of heaven; they didn’t belong at all. Why was the Lord so infatuated with his creation? Human’s fascinated you, the ability to come back from sin and earn their place in the holy kingdom. It wasn’t forced but advised. Sin still existed and you could choose to break the 10 commandments. Choice. You wanted to choose your life not be bound to a memory of someone else and forced through the wrongdoings as if it were prophesied.

You could have been good if someone bothered to explain your questions. Always being brush off to the side caused you to rebel. You can’t do this without any explanation as to why. Archangel Michael brought up your status as replacement constantly but if your ‘predecessor’ was here he wouldn’t speak a word.

“I’ll see you at the end times,” were the last words you said to the angel. The man will have a special role in the end times [“For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so, we will be with the Lord forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:16-1 7)”] Now with knowledge of the end, you didn’t believe that for one second.

“Catch her! Stop Y/N!” The angles that guarded the gates of heaven shouted as you ran through people’s heaven’s gate crashing and accidentally destroying them in the process. You jumped from room to room, hiding amongst people’s belongings to lose the guards chasing you.

The group zoomed past. You sighed before stepping out of your hideaway. The air was musky, you got the sense you weren’t home anymore. Your powers were unhinged, unable to control them was becoming more dangerous than ever.

Accidentally transmuting into an unknown location was never good.

You’ve stepped into the devil’s den.

You wandered, getting your bearings. It was all too new to you, how where you expected to follow along?

You stumbled into him, the man you were designed after.

You resonated with his actions and logic, maybe because you were him in some way. That’s the problem with the likeness, the blurred line between who you are and who you are seen to be. If he betrayed, then, so would you?

He wasn’t like you expected, rude or demeaning. He was cunning, motivated by ill-intent, but who’s to judge if it’s morally good or bad? Those concepts confused you, bad could be good in another’s eyes.

The man knew who you were exactly, rumours of your creation spread fast in the spirit world. “Sister. I didn’t expect to meet you so soon. I would have prepared for your arrival.” He offered his land to you, to help rule his throne. He had bigger plans for the end times than he let on. He fed into your desire, the same confusion he had experienced at the beginning of his rebellion.

He offered you whatever you could have wanted in order to steal you from the grips of your creator. “I want to understand the purpose of all of this. Why are humans so important? Why are expected to follow subserviently?” A life of my own.

“Then go, seek out your own answers and when you get bored or don’t like the answers that you find, there’s a place for you here.”

“How do I get there? I don’t have control-” You’d gotten there by mistake, you couldn’t your powers yet. The angels expected you to which is how the ruckus in heaven began.

The former angel chuckled and explained that earth would be a perfect playing ground for you to learn them for yourself. He kindly answered your question, “Think of suddenly being were you want to go and step forward. You’ll be incognito unless you want to be seen. No angel has had long term exposure to humans, who knows the damages it could cause”.

You found yourself amidst a sandstorm. You knew few things destinations on earth, but you knew one that would be a good starting ground… Eden. Sand flew everywhere. You covered your eyes protecting it from the granules flying everywhere.

Along your journey you find a woman stranded, you called out to her. She sheltered herself with the fabric, she peered up slightly to catch a glimpse at you. Her face was scratched raw in placed due to the environment. You extended your hand out to help her, you noticed the red bloodstain on her clothing. “Are you injured?” you asked. The woman didn’t understand you. Either of you spoke the others language. You sighed, using your index and middle finger and guided her to shut her eyelids. You pulled the woman close before placing a hand on her wound healing her. You sheltered the woman from the storm, extending your wings and wrapping them around her to protect her.

She was your first. Your first living human interaction, friend, lover. It only lasted a couple of weeks before the side effects happened. There was a reason you weren’t meant to be down there for long. Her body broke down in your presence. Each day there was less and less to love. She was your first heartbreak. Your first death.

A day after her death you found Eden. You buried her underneath the tree of knowledge in hopes that her death wasn’t a waste. Countless followed her, all meeting the same fate. You saved women only to cause them more harm. None complained nor blamed you for you had ‘saved them’ in one way or another.

It got to a point you would only show if called upon. You always took a trinket, it could have been the kleptomaniac on you and occasionally, for your favourites, you stole ideas from them, and she ware them when they died. Most of your clothes were from other people including the frame of the glasses you wore at the academy.

Heartbreak, betrayal, lust, Lost. Happiness, unity, fulfilment. Kindness generosity. This is what it’s like to be human. There is no one way to live but through your life, you experience a lot, both positive and negative.

Somehow, in your darkest hour there was light. You managed to befriend a young man; his name long escapes you. He was a descendant of the Salem witches. Up until this point you knew nothing of magic users among the earth. Throughout your years your friendship blossomed. You limited your interactions with the man for his safety. The man became the chancellor (two before Ariel Augustus) as well as taught at the school he attended in his youth. From time to time you haunted the halls. Towards the end of his days, he offered you something to mend your soul.

To truly understand something, you must see it up close, to experience something (by either firsthand or by a secondary source) and to formulate your own ideas on it. You made it clear why you were on earth and though you had understood what it was like, it wasn’t enough.

“To tell you the truth, this may not be the best idea.” A cigarette in hand, you flicked off the ash into a tray nearby. You never said it was going to be the best idea. “You’ve gone in too deep. Someone’s going to get hurt-” You raise your hand cutting him off by their fear of you alone.

“I’d call you a friend,”

“Thank you?”

“I’d hate to see you die too.” You brought your cigarette up to your lips, inhaling the deathly sweet smoke that has and will kill many. “But you treat me as a god and not an equal. I am no different than you. You see, I have to do this. You aren’t the first to confuse me for something better and if I am to truly understand, I must live in your shoes. Submit myself entirely to science.”

“But this can’t be done the way you plan without flaw.”

“So, let there be flaws.” Your friend, the man you’d been with since he was a young man, who dedicated his whole life to you was in disbelief. You were driving yourself into insanity and in turn bring him down with you, for he worshipped you, claiming he had found god reincarnated. But the man was wrong, you were no god.

“And when it’s all done, what of it then?”

“That won’t happen until the end times.”

In your final hours, you sat down with a piece of parchment and a pen. You weren’t sure why he believed they would take you. You gathered he would put in a word with the staff of the establishment that you belonged, whether they believed the man, only time would tell, you thought as you sealed the letter.

An identity spell only lasts until the death of the caster, to ensure it lasts longer as secondary plan was devised. Capsules containing the powered used in the spell could need to be ingested. Once they wear off, related stimuli could jog the memory.

When you awoke from the spell. You stood outside the gates of Miss Robichaux’s, letter in hand anxious for your years to come.

~~~

“Did you get the answers you wanted?”

You got answers you sought. You understood their purpose. Humans were playthings for the Gods. A hobby to waste away at. A game gone wrong. A game you had power over. A game you were breaking all the rules for being down here. You weren’t your brother, you weren’t tossed aside, you shouldn’t be down here. Your friends, all those you forgot about. There were too many. You needed to go back to see them. But you can’t, you ran off.

“So, you’re my nephew? You better not start calling me Aunty, I’m too young for that.”

“It’s good to finally meet you, truly.”

You paused for a moment, thinking about how you felt about all of this. Numb? “Same with you, Mickey.”

“You still going with that?”

“Yes, and now you can’t stop me, I’m your aunt-”

“That’s not how this works.”

“Shut up, I’m your boss now- Kidding.” Michael scowled at your comment. “In all honesty though we should get to work on this place. Torch it?”

“Why the rush? We got a year to waste.”

#cordelia x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #cordelia goode x reader

25 notes · View notes

fallenpkmntrainer · 5 years ago

Photo

Honestly, the answer is a hard "no." But this question actually got me thinking a lot about why I started this blog in the first place, and I feel like I should answer the question "Why not?"

Please excuse me, because it is an extremely long answer.

It is hard to watch Leaf suffer, but that's the entire point. For me to give her a happy ending, you'd first have to think about how I would do that, and what that would imply.

The clear answer is that Red needs to give up his spot as the definitive hero, and Leaf would need to be coded back into the games in his place.

But if Red was erased from Leaf's world forever, what would happen to this blog? To this story? It wouldn't be FallenPKMNTrainer anymore. It wouldn’t be Fallen Leaf. It would become just a normal "Ask Leaf" blog.

But this isn't supposed to be the usual Leaf ask blog. This isn't supposed to be the typical, easy-to-digest, fandom-wide fantasy where I can pretend Leaf exists as the hero of her world, or alongside Red as his equal.

I wouldn’t even consider this my own alternate universe.

It is just my interpretation of what really happened. Not just about what happened to Leaf, but what happened in real life.

I can't lie to myself and create a world where she's the hero. To run away to my own self-indulgent world where she gets her happy ending would feel disingenuous. I would be actively ignoring her erasure. I would become complacent, and wouldn't feel the need to speak out. But this blog, and Fallen Leaf's story as a whole, is my way of speaking out.

This is my form of closure after realizing how badly Game Freak hurt me, and thousands of others, by saying that a girl will never be the hero, no matter how much love and hope she puts into the world of Pokémon.

It has always just been Red. And so she will always be met with a boy named Red, and only Red.

And that leads into the reason why, despite him being sentient during the Magic Anon event, I still portrayed Red as inhuman and heartless. He has no love in him to make him real. He lacks a soul, free will, and the human experience. He is the epitome of Game Freak’s intentions, their nostalgic bias, their corporate apathy, their misogyny.

When Red was given the opportunity to speak, he refused to say a single word directly to Leaf, only speaking to dehumanize her. He treats her like companies do with their products: like a replaceable object.

He did not care about the sentimentality players have towards Leaf, and considered it acceptable for her to be erased because Lyra would take her place as the next hero. Essentially, considering the girl player characters as expendable and interchangeable, rather than an important representation of a young girl’s gaming experience.

The meta reason why Red took Leaf’s voice during the event is because when you allow heartless people to justify themselves, when you attempt to see their side, you silence their victims.

You choose not to hear or believe the victims, in favor of those who have hurt them.

Despite this, some people might have hoped that, upon gaining sentience, Red would have shown a sympathetic side in this story. Maybe some were rooting for this event to give Red not just self-awareness, but a soul and compassion towards Leaf, allowing him to somehow make peace with her, despite being the living embodiment of her death. Even after the event is over, there may be some disappointed people who still feel this way.

I feel like this comes from predefined expectations and sentimentality towards Red as a character, and I want to do everything within my ability to subvert and abolish this.

If I have somehow given any hope for humanity within this version of Red in my writing, I have failed in expressing my beliefs.

I cannot give him a conscience or heart, because the nature of his creation inherently conflicts with it.

But I cannot erase him, either.

Even if this Leaf was "saved,” there are hundreds of thousands of other Leafs still gone, and millions more soulless Reds where this one came from.

And if you were somehow able to hack and "fix" every copy in the world of HGSS, BW2, SUMO and USUM to include Leaf as the girl boss option, even that would never undo Game Freak's intentions. It will not undo the pain that was caused. It already happened, and it will happen again.

As long as that heartless intention exists, so will the idea of “a boy named Red.”

But Red is not the problem. He is not a villain you can defeat. He is the decision, and your anger should not go to him, but to those that made that decision.

We are not responsible for fixing the mistakes The Pokémon Company has made. These are the choices that have been made, and they have committed to their decision.

And this story is my means to condemn that decision, just as imprisoning Red is Leaf's way.

Thank you for reading.

#ooc posts #long post #munday

28 notes · View notes

brookscharis · 5 years ago

Text

how to own your story

I have to share my shortcomings and weaknesses. I refuse any space for the enemy to put me in a little box lined with mirrors so I can hatefully stare at myself from every angle. If I was to live for myself and fulfill a self defined purpose, I would only focus on my strengths and show off my greatness - my great taste in music, clothes, media, etc. But now that God has revealed Himself to me and showed me how, compared to Him, I’m not great at all, I’ve allowed Him to fulfill His purpose for my life. Which is the same for all believers –– to make Him and His greatness known, not our own.

I wrench and twist with embarrassment and pain when I think about the things I’ve done. How I’ve treated people and even how powerless I feel in the present. I lack the clarity to truly see my actions or know if I’m still perpetuating the same patterns. The enemy tells me that I’ll never get it right, that I will always be in this infant state of never changing. But, good thing satan is named, “the Father of Lies.” It’s true that I will never get it right, that’s what helps me to stay dependent on God. I am an infant in the eyes of God, I’m His child and He’s my Father. However, I am a new creation that God has began a good work in that He is faithful to finish.

I worry that I don’t deserve the mercy of God, even though I know I don’t. His mercy is a gift that doesn’t depend on what I do or who I am, but it’s just who He is. I often ask myself how I have the audacity to represent God when I’ve been so mercilessly selfish and defiant toward authority in my past. But it’s not audacity, it’s being obedient despite how I feel, we are called to be ambassadors of the Kingdom. I know I’m unworthy of the calling because I struggled with (and still struggle) with hating anyone and anything that got in the way of my desires. I played favorites and I never took no for an answer. And it was praised as “ambition” and being “determined”. But really, it severed close friendships in my life and led me to diva levels of pride.

At the beginning of my Junior year in college, I cut off friendships that I had for 2 years -- cold turkey with no warning. As soon as I made that decision, I instantly regretted it and decided to run away from the seeds that I planted. I was interested in studying abroad, not by coincidence but because of convenience. It didn’t matter where I was going or what the program actually entailed, I impulsively poured all of myself into the process of fleeing the continent. I moved out of my dorm before Christmas break and went home to wait until February to leave for Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

While I was home, I kept replaying the details over and over. I cut off one in person and three others through Instagram DMs. I would jump from regret to “that’s what they get!” incessantly over and over again. My sudden rejection toward them felt justified because I felt like an outcast in the group, I only liked hanging out with one of them. Even though they would include me in plans sometimes, I had difficulty understanding the inside jokes or feeling wanted. I had a favorite friend and started developing friendships with the others because she was friends with them. I was fake, but I blamed them for a long time. I had so much resentment toward them that swelled into pride and it blinded me. It took being home, 3 months after cutting them off to realize that I was running from them because I was wrong. I despised the connection they had with each other to the point where I didn’t even value them as people. I let hatred and jealousy keep me from respecting them enough to end a 2 year friendship face to face. I was a coward. I hated myself for a very long time. Every day my brain would go on a loop, “you’re toxic, you’re trash, you’re emotionally abusive, you’re a narcissist, you’re an abuser.” My thoughts were debilitating me and I let them, I felt like this was the proper punishment for what I did. I felt like I needed to condemn myself.

But rewind to before I made it home for Christmas break, I was in the Chicago airport and I missed my flight. I had a layover for about 2 hours so I decided to find a place to chill. While sitting down and thumbing through YouTube video recommendations on my feed, I found “Wretched TV.” The first video I saw was of a tall skinny, Abraham Lincoln looking white man on a podium debating theology with college students. They asked the hard questions about Christianity that I could never answer as a believer. I was captivated by the certainty and logic of the man’s answers and I found myself going down a rabbit hole. I thought this was my first introduction to the world of apologetics, however, before this I saw Preston Perry do the same thing in a more conversational manner on his channel “BOLD TV”.

“Wretched TV” led me to “Living Waters Ministry” videos and that channel changed my life forever. This was the first time someone ever broke down the gospel for me in a way that I could understand. I could see the full magnitude of my sin and the holiness of God. Ray Comfort (the guy in those videos) referenced the verse, “No one is good, no not one.” (Romans 3:10) And in that moment, I had a hope that I couldn’t explain. I felt like I was a good person before I did my friends dirty, but now that I made that mistake, I was a good as filthy rags to be disposed of. But this man, Ray Comfort, was telling me – actually, a stranger that he was interviewing in his videos – that we are all in danger of eternal punishment, even if we think we’re a good person. Because to be “good” is to be morally excellent, which only God is. The standard isn’t even based on doing “good” things or deeds in order to appease God, it’s placed on doing it from a genuine heart posture that wants to serve God. “All have fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) After I watched one video, I watched another, and another and another. The questions I had about faith that I was never comfortable enough to ask in church were given answers in these videos. I finally felt like I was getting it! I finally saw Jesus as the God who doesn’t want to condemn me for my life of sin, but wants to save me from my life of sin.

Even though I grew up in church, I never heard the gospel as it’s own separate message, it was always just sprinkled into the sermon –– that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I didn’t know what that meant and I didn’t really care. I knew that to keep things peaceful in my home, I needed to go to church with my family and pray before I ate dinner. Later on in high school and early college, when I was distant from God and believed in astrology, law of attraction, angel numbers, and pursued a same sex relationship, I still prayed in Jesus’ name. I knew of Him in a religious sense, but not in a personal way. In 2018, when I had enough of the confusion and darkness of new age beliefs, I surrendered everything, including my sexuality to God –– I fasted, worshipped, went to church, and was even baptized –– but I did all of this from the wrong place in my heart. I did it to earn favor and love from Jesus, I did it because I wanted Him to change me and make me a better person. I didn’t know that He already loved me so much that He sacrificed His own life for me, before I ever wanted Him. He did that just in case I wanted a relationship with God. Just so I could be saved from the torment of sin and be right with Him. I was already favored and chosen by Him. Even while I was His enemy, He kept me and protected me. Once I realized that, I clearly saw Jesus as my savior and friend. It didn’t feel like a religious story anymore, it became reality and I could clearly see that there is no other way to the Father. I want to know Him more out of gratitude, not obligation. If it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit drawing me near to God, if it wasn’t for those videos popping up on my feed to share the gospel with me, if it wasn’t for God’s word being truth and Him revealing it to me –– I would still be tormenting myself over my mistakes.

Like Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Actually, you should take the time to read all of Romans 8.

We are not the hero in our story, it’s always God. He is our Redeemer and our Restorer. If it wasn’t for God’s mercy on me, I would not have this blog. I would not post Tik Toks about His love and how to grow closer to Him. I would be bound by the past and the opinions of others would still be my god (I still struggle with this, but I’m learning how to surrender more and more everyday). I am a new creation with a heart of flesh and not stone, I was spiritually dead and now I am alive, I was truly lost but now I am found. I was blind but–– ya’ll get the point.

I did nothing to be in this position. I didn’t see much of a choice when deciding to follow God or continue in the darkness and confusion of my life of sin. I hated my life, so I gave it away. Like Matthew 16:25 (NIV) says, “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” He is love. One of the reason why I fell in love with following Jesus is that, as humans, we are to fully embrace how in need of God we are. How is anyone supposed to know Jesus as a savior if we front (or pretend) like we don’t need saving? The Christians around you who model being “perfect” need the most prayer because that’s pride. If we boast in our weaknesses, that’s when Christ’s power rests upon us (2 Corinthians 12:9). There’s no need to project a god-like image when Jesus didn’t even do that Himself (Philippians 2:5-11).

Your story is never supposed to show how strong and great you are, but how merciful and present God is in our times of trouble. When we are afflicted, He is with us. When we afflict others and do them wrong, He corrects us and is merciful. Share His greatness so other’s can have the same hope that you feel from reading my story. It’s not about us and it’s not about our reputations. It’s about making Christ known.

2 notes · View notes

scripted-dalliances · 6 years ago

Text

Rest In Peace: Chapter One

Title: Rest In Peace

Chapter: 1

Summary: A part of Faithless Fairy Tale, a more in depth look at how they brought Laura back to life. Appearance of old faces, creation of new ones and if you’re looking for canon, it left a long, long time ago. If you squint you might be able to see some pieces from the book.

A/n: This is less a labor of love and more like a violent attempt to get this beast of a story out of my head. I attempted to shave and shape it into something other people might be able to read and enjoy. Did I succeed? I honestly don’t know, this is what happens when I’m left to edit by myself. If it’s trash, I apologize.

“All you need is someone to believe. Really believe. And maybe a new story, right? A reinvention. A rebirth.” - Faithless Fairy Tale

Laura promises pretty things out of her wicked dead mouth, and to a degree he already believes them. Why wouldn't he, after watching her slay Grimnir with his own blade to save the likes of him?

Make no mistake, he's not deceived by her, he hasn't forgotten who she is. Mad Sweeney knows the mettle of Laura Moon, even minus the stolen war god’s blade and his lucky coin. He is not blinded by her one act of mercy to think she isn’t the same woman who crushed his balls in her palms like fucking walnuts.

Who huffed pesticide under hot tub tarps and crawled out of her own grave.

He is not stupid.

She is a bitch, she is a crass little thing, but there isn't enough strength in his bones to deny she inspires him. To anger. To stand against the tide. To lower himself right down to her level; to tussle in the mud of blasphemies, insults and filth. Everything about her, pulls and demands something of him. Whether good or bad, whether it is her's by right or not, he hands it over.

(He does it with hard hands, with spite and bitterness. With love.)

The sirens of old could sing their pretty little hearts out, but it's only Laura's voice calling him a pussy that could drive him overboard. The reason unclear; to prove her wrong, to chase her, or just so he could drown himself and be done with her.

Not even he knows.

(So of course he agrees.)

Mad Sweeney sighs deeply, a man condemned to be saved and hangs his head.

“Yeah, alright you mad bitch. Let's hear your theory.”

It takes work. Scratch that. It takes a whole fuck ton of work. Most of which starts with research, that Laura herself demands he be involved in.

The deal is this: She will pray to him, not the old fashion way mind you. With tiny offerings of milk and bread, sweetened by faith. Laura has grand plans, she'll write a book, she'll go on tours reading to kiddies and to anyone who listens.

She promises to sue General Mills for defamation of character if they let her.

She will do it until someone else proves to do it better, and then her part of the deal is done. Problem is she'll only do that if he helps brings her back to life in the first place. Properly this time, in her words. No half-assed plans or maybes.

(His part no surprise, is the difficult part)

Laura of course makes it even more complicated. Refuses to go into this blind, ignoring Mad Sweeney's advice that this will only slow them down. She needs faith, not answers to a bloody pop quiz.

Ostara does the best she can to help, giving them access to her many libraries filled to the brim with books on resurrection, from the gods that bestow it and several ones that involve the opposite. Nestled in many of them are testaments to her growing bitterness. Written in the margins with hot pink ink, little notes of what is a lie, what is a cop out and who took credit where none is due.

She is one of the kinder goddesses, there's more love in her heart than not, but the years of abandonment has made spite grow in her like weeds. Perhaps that's why she takes a liking to Laura's plight, she knows intimately what it's like to be buried and forgotten, to emerge from that grave and still stand. Maybe in the shadows instead of the light, but still there regardless.

Ostara does what many of the patrons of faith have done before, when the faith becomes dry and thin, she makes the best of it. After all, start asking for more than what is owed is what started a war, and she has seen what comes from that.

They all did.

Little Laura Moon, with a stolen blade and a heart made of stone. Who saw new gods and old, strong and weak alike and found them all lacking. It is in her, they have seen the true face of the faithless, the mortals who make or break them, and an end they can not escape.

Whether she knows it or not, Laura has become a judgment no god wishes to cross just yet, and that's perhaps another piece of the puzzle why Ostara gives them so much help. She never says as such, never says a single double-edge word to Laura or Sweeney, but still in rankles on him. The not knowing.

“This is more than what you owe me.” Sweeney tells Ostara, one afternoon when Laura has buried her head in some ancient tome -probably in a language she can't even understand- and isn't paying attention to him. It's not a secret that he's cashing in a favor from the goddess for just being here, but he feels like it's asking a lot. To lean on her good heart, her open doors and know that a storm will hit sooner or later.

(Grimnir might be dead, but the war is far from over. There are still the new gods, the old bitter ones and a whole bunch of fucking traps the old bastard set up in case of his end, that will have to be dealt with.)

“You stopped me from ruining what I loved most.” Ostara tells him, with a soft haunted look, “Too long I've been harboring this...resentment. We all have, but what for? The old days are just that. Old. Maybe I miss the power, but stealing spring is on par with a child throwing a tantrum for attention. That's not me. So, maybe I'll work a different angle, maybe it won't work.” She shrugs her delicate shoulders. “Either way, I'm going to do it as myself. I'm going to honor all that belief, from the first believers that made me a goddess, who were the first to pray to my name, from those who kept true even when the rest of the world didn't. I can't turn my back on those chapters of my story. Otherwise, who am I?

He doesn't have an answer, it's too soon to be a bastard and remind her of all the fears that drove her to Odin's side in the first place. The weakness, the abandonment and death. Was she ready for that? Were any of them? This isn't a job, there's no step below god, either you are or you aren't, and then you're gone from this world.

Sweeney looks over at Laura Moon, with her moldy flesh, stitched together with cheap glue, bits of metal and string like some sort of bastardized dollar store version of Frankenstein. With all ten of her nails cracked and peeling, the heavy stench of her rot that floats with every breeze; makes even his iron stomach clench and roll, how it lingers as a constant reminder of her late state of decomposition. As if it wasn't obvious when she constantly had to pull maggots out of her ears, mouth and nose.

Maybe Ostara has the right frame of mind.

To keep true to yourself or accept a true end.

There are worse things than death after all.

The weirdest part of all this, you know besides the slaying of Grimnir by a dead girl, of him playing fucking librarian and taking tea with the goddess of Spring while a storm builds; is watching Shadow Fucking Moon blush for Ostara.

It's so fucking weird that he can't even insult the bastard for it.

He'll just sit there silently, watching as the two canoodle -and there is no other words for it, because Shadow will be polite as a nun, and Ostara will just sit as close as she can with a beaming smile. They whisper and giggle like children do when they have a crush and Sweeney doesn't even know where to start with how fucked up any of this is.

It also is fucking awkward as shit for him, because it's not just him in the room when this happens. Laura is there too. Making it a test, a competition of strength of will between him and the bitch dead wife. Whoever had to leave the room first in disgust, lost.

He lost every god damn time.

Whatever happened to her heart when Shadow failed to believe in her over Grimnir (just for a second, for one painful second, but to the dead that’s forever), has either frozen it or broke it. She doesn't mope or cry, thank Christ above, but she doesn't act jealous either. She is hell bent on other things. Like bringing herself to life.

And testing him with her stupid theories.

He hates it as much as he delights in it.

“Kiss me. Ginger minge.” She demands, hands on rotted hips and dull eyes looking up into his, with absolute venom even as she attempts to flutter her lashes and smile up at him. Shit, she just might actually spit acid at this point if he dared comment about how terrifying she looks.

“Fuck off, no.” He tells her. He doesn't have a point to prove, he just doesn't want to do it.

Not like this.

He drops the book he was not so secretly not reading, and childishly kicks at a pile near her in his attempt to get away. Moving to a different room to keep a stupidly long table between them. Not that it would do much good. She still has his strength, all his luck, and she all she has to do is get one hand on him and he's a dead man. Ha.

“You said you wanted to test my theory!” She screeches like a banshee at his retreating back.

“That was before I knew it was fuckin' batty!” He shouts right back. “That was before you started acting all sweet -horrifying by the way, thought your brain had literally rotted out of your fucking ears! Acting all delicate and soft, telling me to kiss you. Jesus fuckin' Christ, no woman! NO!”

Laura chases him around the awkwardly large dining table, and he won't deny he smiles a bit, when her hip catches a sharp corner and curses at him like it's his fault.

“Well, excuse me for trying to be nice. I thought it would make this easier!”

“Well, you thought wrong, dead wife.”

It's at this, she snaps. Honest to god, snaps, and flings herself in his direction like a damned hellcat.

Sweeney attempts to run away, but she is small and quick, with hands like a fucking honey badger on crack. Her fingers claw into his shoulder, etching into the jean material like it was nothing but silk. Once she has him there, it's a losing battle, as she clings in with the rest of her body soon after.

They fight all the way down. He attempts to throw her off, but she digs her sharp knees into his ribs. Hard enough to bruise, right until she has him on his back, with her legs clutching down on his sides like steel clamps.

With no tenderness, her clammy hands are gripping his head, all the fingers braced to keep his skull still. Forcing him to look at her as she struggles to plant one on him.

“Let.Me.Kiss.You!” She growls, leaning in only to find him squirming more. She gets his nose, his beard and cheek, ghosting over each but never for long enough. “Are you going to turn into a fucking little toad or something? Christ, I am not asking for your virginity, princess. Just a damn kiss!”

Sweeney tilts his head, strains his neck and wiggles like a dying fish, calling her every name in the book and then some that aren't. He does it in English and Gaelic; all between his gritted teeth but none of it moves her. In the end she claws to keep his face down, digging her razor blade nails into the flesh of his cheeks until he screams.

“Fine! FUCK! I said fine, dead wife! DO IT!”

Laura releases her grip and glares down at him, gets close enough for him to gag slightly on the scent of death and decay that surrounds her -but she doesn't kiss him.

“First tell me why you are acting like such a prude over a single kiss.”

“Oh. Sweet mother of Christ above. Does it matter?”

Laura smirks, and proceeds to squeeze with her thighs around his middle. He screeches something foul, and is seconds away from feeling his guts burst like a fucking water balloon when she eases back. Planting her ass on his hips with no shame.

He will deny it until he is fucking blue in the face, but he likes her weight. Her strength. All wrapped up in a tiny package.

“Tell me or I will literally squeeze it out of you.”

“And they say romance is dead.”

Laura clenches, her face smug when a second later he is screaming once more.

(What he doesn’t know is that she likes when he screams, likes the way he bristles and burns, there is something beautiful in the way he strains so hard against her that the veins in his neck pop and pulse.)

“ALRIGHT YOU FUCKIN' MAD BITCH, I'LL SING. I'LL FUCKIN' SING. NOW STOP BEFORE I PISS MYSELF!”

Laura does, because ew.

Delighted in getting her way once more, she is content to wait for him to catch his breath. Merely tracking the beads of sweat on his brow and the way they trickle into his flaming red hair.

“…ah…fuck…” he pants. Licking his lips while looking away from her. Seemingly shutting his eyes in pain, more pain than he was mere seconds ago in. “I didn't want to kiss you…like this. With you making it all business and shady like, like it's a fuckin' handshake.”

“Oh.”

#rest in peace #madwife #mad wife #mad sweeney x laura moon #mad wife fic

32 notes · View notes

fortunatelylori · 6 years ago

Note

Do you think that Benjen knew the truth about Jon? In s6 i was annoyed that he left just b4 bran found out so we'll never know

Hey, nonnie!

This is a very interesting question and while I do not have a definitive answer, I am inclined to say that Benjen did in fact know the truth about Jon. There are two theories about how he found out. One is frankly quite boring and not all that interesting, while the other is much more emotional and meaningful. So I’ll kind of lay out both and you can make up your mind on it yourself.

The first scenario is that he found out once the children of the forest found him and healed him from the wounds inflicted by the White Walker in season 1. What we know about this incident is that the way Benjen was healed by the COF was similar to the creation of the Night King. Since all of this is just show canon at this point, things might be different in the books so keep that in mind.

The story Benjen tells Bran and Meera is that the COF inserted a shard of dragonglass into his heart to stop the process of him dying and turning into a wight. Why the COF would have done that for him and not the rest of the party he was with, remains a mystery but we do know that the NK is imbued with greenseer abilities because he was able to spot Bran while he was warging and actually interact with him by touching him (which lead to the magic of BR’s cave to be destroyed and them being attacked). It’s not outside the realm of possibility that Benjen, in his new hybrid state, has now gained access to the weirwood net and is able to have visions of the past, present and future just like Bran. In addition, Benjen is a Stark and we know that most of the Starks are magical in one way or another (although not as powerful as Bran, of course). These 2 things would go a long way in explaining how Benjen was able to pop up at the exact time when Bran and Jon needed rescuing when they were beyond the wall. So it Benjen does in fact have greenseer abilities, he would probably be able to see just how Ned came to find Jon and what lead him to bring him home from the Tower of Joy.

The other theory, and the one I’m most partial too, is that Benjen knew all along that Jon was Lyanna’s son. Some people speculate that Ned told him after bringing Jon home as, unlike Cat, Benjen had a vested interest in protecting his sister’s son. But I don’t think Ned needed to tell Benjen for him to figure it out all on his own.

One of the most interesting aspects about Benjen, and one the books highlight far more than the show, is his extremely close relationship with Lyanna. They were closer in age and Benjen was Lyanna’s wingman, so to speak, all through their childhood and adolescence.

I always found it fascinating that one of the visions Bran has the first time he accesses the weirwood net is of Lyanna and Benjen playing in the godswood. While there might be other narrative reasons for this vision that are, as of yet, unrevealed it does highlight just how close these two were.

Also Benjen was present at the tournament where Rhaegar crowned Lyanna as the Queen of Love and Beauty and since he also helped Howland Reed after he was attacked, it’s very possible that he was the only person to know that Lyanna was the Knight of the Laughing Tree and he helped her in this endeavor. Which would also make it possible that he was there the first time Rhaegar and Lyanna interacted when he tracked them down and revealed their shenanigans.

All of this is speculation at this point, of course, but if everything above happened, it’s also likely that Benjen knew Rhaegar kept in touch with Lyanna and chose to keep his sister’s secret. Unlike his brothers, he might very well have known that Lyanna was not actually kidnapped and that she went with Rhaegar willingly. I doubt either Benjen or Lyanna realized just what a terrible mistake they made in engaging with Rahegar to that level or the consequences of what they might have seen as a innocent, romantic tryst would have.

During the rebellion, Benjen was stuck being the Stark in Winterfell and was cut off from communicating with Ned which is why he probably never managed to tell Ned that Lyanna had ran off with Rhaegar of her own accord. Not that this would have stopped the rebellion per se but I imagine Benjen would have been riddled with guilt over his part in all of it, not to mention carry a trauma for aiding Lyanna in what would essentially be a huge tragedy for their family and also lead to her death. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a few months after Ned returned home, Benjen went to the Wall. I think him joining the NW was his way of atoning for what he saw as his failure to protect his sister and their family. So, knowing all that he knew about Lyanna and Rhaegar, knowing Ned as he did and also seeing how stubborn he was in refusing to ever talk about the mother of his bastard son and seeing just how much Jon looked like Lyanna, I think Benjen figured out fairly quickly just who Jon was. Perhaps he confronted Ned with this and Ned confirmed it. Perhaps he kept it to himself and it was an unspoken thing between the two brothers but I think there’s a very good chance that Benjen knew.

I have to stop here and remark on the double standard that the fandom applies to characters in this series. Sansa is often dragged through the mud as a bully and an idiot for having a difficult relationship with Arya and because of her naivete when it comes to Cersei and Jofferey. Lyanna, however, is always spared such criticism. Although we know that by virtue of being the older sister, she did in fact dominate Benjen and made fun of him: in the vision that Bran has, Lyanna roughs him up and then scolds him for screaming because she’s afraid someone will find out and at the tourney she pours a glass of wine over his head when he makes fun of her crying over Rhaegar playing the harp. And that’s just the canon aspect of their relationship. If the theory above turns out to be true, Lyanna effectively made her little brother complicit in the event that shattered their family. Also, just for the record, while the brunt of the Rhaegar/Lyanna relationship must rest on Rhaegar’s adult shoulders, it’s also worth noting that Lyanna chose to run away with a married man and entertain his advances for months prior. She was most likely groomed and coerced into this but, at the same time, she had ample time to inform her father or older siblings of what Rhaegar was doing and she chose not to, probably because she saw it as a way of getting out of her betrothal to Robert. All of this doesn’t make her an evil person or a monster but the responsibility of what happened is greater in her case then whatever role Sansa is supposed to have played in Ned’s downfall (which is minimal if not, downright inexistent) or the tragedy that she falls victim to after her father’s death. But because Lyanna is known to have swung a sword at some point, she’s Jon’s mother and also reminds fans of Arya, she get’s a free pass. Sansa, on the other hand, must suffer for the rest of her life because she was an innocent little girl who was taught to trust the adults around her and did just that.

Coming back to the topic at hand … It’s also interesting that Benjen is at once willing to let Jon join the NW but at the same time tries to talk him out of it. He’s conflicted about Jon’s decision. He tells Jon this:

Benjen: You don’t understand what you might be giving up. None of us will ever father sons.

Jon: I don’t care about that.

Benjen: You might. If you knew what it meant.

Now, on the surface this feels like Benjen finding Jon’s inexperience in matters of sex endearing. But … I always got the feeling that Benjen was referring to more than that. After all, why say none of them will have children and not point out that Jon might at least try to have sex before joining a celibate order for life? I think he was in fact unsure whether to take Jon to the Wall because by joining the NW Jon would be making a life altering decision without being in possession of all the facts concerning who he was and what his actual place in the world could be.

This theory is supported, in my mind, by Ned and Jon’s last conversation:

Jon: Is my mother alive? Does she know about me? Where I am, where I’m going? Does she care?

Ned: The next time we see each other, we’ll talk about your mother. I promise.

Firstly, please allow me to retreat in a dark corner and cry. Poor Jon! I get very defensive of him when people label him entitled or a bully because of his inability to understand the plight of Pyp and Grenn when he gets to the wall, because even though Pyp and Grenn go through hardships, Jon’s life has not been a walk in the park. Living in a castle and having access to a sword master shouldn’t blind people from the very real and painful traumas that have plagued Jon since the moment he was born.

Now, going back to the quote … Ned is a man of his word. I truly believe that he had every intention of telling Jon about Lyanna and his true parentage once they “saw each other” again. The question is why now? Why keep a secret for so long and promise to tell Jon the truth? What changes?

The only answer I can come up with is that by the time Ned and Jon would see each other again, Jon would have taken his NW oath which would not only mean that Jon was out of the reach of Robert but also that he would be now stuck there, unable to do anything with this new information. So Ned is biding his time until that happens so that Jon would have no choice but continue to be the Bastard of Winterfell. And Benjen is aiding him in this.

This feels like the kind of thing GRRM would come up with since it adds to the bittersweet aspect of the Jon/Ned/Benjen relationship. Both these men protect and love Jon but they also fail him by keeping him in the dark about who he is and standing by while Jon condemns himself to a life of celibacy, in a place that will most likely kill him because he sees no other road open to him in life.

Thanks for the ask!

#house stark #benjen stark #jon snow #lyanna stark

64 notes · View notes

sipilosopograsya · 5 years ago

Text

SIBLING CHALLENGE

IMPORTANT NOTICE: I know this is quite LATE & medyo long post (mejjj lang naman, mas mahaba pa din ECQ at pasensya ni Mama 😂) I want us (YES US kahit dito man lang magkaroon ng US 😂) to learn something about our life as a PASTOR'S KID a.k.a. PK (sama ko na din Pastor's wife or hubby).

You know, while growing up we struggled a lot finding some reasons that being a PK is good. Bcuz why not? We were born into this way of life & it happened to be our path. So why not try to find a reason na MASAYA AT MAGANDA MAGING PK.

We are identified as "Ay si (my/sibs name) yung anak ni Pastor..." and for me I think that it's normal. That it's fun too. That it's okay. That it's awesome bcuz you are like a "star" being recognized. You have some privileges like mauna ka sa pila pag may pakain si ate member lalo pag birthday ni bebeh niya. (VIP ka ghorl 😂? Tapos lukatam tay nalanlanit nga "steropom" adda papansit ken sweet-taba na) Pag may regalo kay Pastor kahit di sa iyo nakikiregalo ka na din Nakikibukas, nakiki "Papa akin na lang yan" kahit di alam kung saan gagamitin ang kurbata. Syempre, halos lahat ng pacontest pagdating sa BIBLE, MYTHICAL ka boi kasi katabi mo matulog ang BIBLE. Halos unan mo na nga eh. Always present ka sa lahat ng camp, fellowships maski convention ng mga pastors kahit di ka belong makagala ka lang. 😂

But here's the catch. Believe it or not (& this is the reality) there is also an expectation, actually HIGH EXPECTATION from the people around us that as clergy kids we ARE OUGHT TO BE SO HOLY & SO PERFECT. It's like WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO COMMIT MISTAKES (kulang na lang pati sa exams bawal kami magkamali). And of course I am so sure that there are people or church members WHO EXPECTS US TO BE IN THE MINISTRY & some of them might think it should be. That is why sometimes PKs can feel THE PRESSURE. The pressure to always get it right, or be seen to be doing the right thing or acting perfectly or holy.

Kaya pag nagkasala o nagkamali ang mga PKs nakita ko at masakit sa akin kasi we are so quick to judge and just recklessly label PKs "Wala kang kwentang anak ng pastor", "Anak ka pa naman ng pastor.", "Walang kwentang nagsisimba". Sometimes we put them in public embarassment reiterating that they are "Mahina", "Di kayang lumaban." Just because they do not speak up or fight back. Tuwing may umiiyak at nagsusumbong telling that they are "the victim" madalas we are already concluding na "Masama ugali" "Hindi na nahiya" without even listening to the other side of the story.

Now I/we want you to know that it's not bad if we expect that PKs should set a good example. BUT PLEASE, IN CASE THAT THEY COMMIT MISTAKE OR SINFUL ACT, PLEASE REMEMBER, JUST LIKE YOU, PKs ARE A WORK IN PROGRESS TOO. DO NOT EVER CONDEMN THEM OR EVEN DISQUALIFY THEM TO BE PASTOR'S KID. Hindi komo, "ANAK NG PASTOR" hindi na nagkakamali. Hindi na nagkakasala. We should never identify PKs as "PASTOR'S-KID-PERFECT". God made us all different,maaring yung kahinaan mo kalakasan nila or vice versa. Let us stop labelling PKs as "ANAK KA PA NAMAN NG PASTOR" etc. Bcuz they are so much more than that! Lalo na mga toddlers o kaya mga bata na PK pag nakipagrambulan o nakipag agawan ng laruan sa kapwa niya bata sa church sasabihan agad ng "YANG ANAK NI PASTOR PASAWAY DI NA NAHIYA ANAK PA NAMAN NG PASTOR" na parang walang karapatan na mapagdaanan yung ganun na facet ng buhay niya.

✓If they committed a mistake or just in case a sinful act? Then, CORRECT them instead of cursing or throwing hurtful words.

Consider the ff.

RIGHT PERSON (tama ba yung tao na sinasabihan mo? Baka mamaya si ate or kuya member pinagsasabihan mo ng KAMALIAN nila NA WALANG KAALAM-ALAM. WAG NA I-INVOLVE MGA DI NAMAN KASALI, o wag na magtawag ng mga makikinerbyos)

RIGHT PLACE (WAG NAMAN HO SA KUNG SAAN-SAAN KUNG MAARI SA ISANG ROOM NA KAYO LANG O KAYA SA PARSONAGE)

RIGHT TIME (di lang ritemed ang RIGHT, Dapat maski oras din.)

RIGHT WORDS (Humingi ng Wisdom and knowledge Kay Lord ng sa ganun hindi ratattattaat boom booooom lang masabi natin)

If they need to undergo chastening or disciplinary actions then so be it. Do not leave them astray. Help your pastor in guiding them.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

Matthew 18:15-17

✓ENCOURAGE them instead of embarassing them. Encourage them just like how you encourage your children or fellow Christians.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

1 Thessalonians 5:11

✓PRAY FOR THEM TOO! (MADALAS ITONG NAKAKALIGTAAN, tanungin mo mga church members kung pinagpepray ba nila mga PKs or Pastor's Wife/hubby iilan lang ang sasagot ng "Oo"). Hello? They also need our prayers. Just as how much you need it! They also experience being low in faith, depression, anxiety, stress etc. Di sila laging STAY STRONG 💪

"Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."

Ephesians 6:18

✓How you respect your pastor, RESPECT them too mapa PK man yan o PASTOR'S WIFE/HUBBY. Ishakehand o ibeso mo din sila wag mo nilalagpasan para saan pa at paborito mo kantahin ang "Kumusta ka na? AKO'Y NAGAGALAK NA IKA'Y AKING MAKITA?" kung snob ka naman. I included them kasi meron talagang mga na-eechapwera lalo na kung mababa lang pinagaralan ni Pastor's wife o kaya hindi siya pastor. Regardless of how we perceive other people to be, they are God's creations! Let this sink in.✌️

"Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of the believers, fear God, honor the emperor."

1Peter 2:17

✓PART SILA NG FAMILY or ng CHURCH, THEY ARE "VALUABLE". We can show it by giving them a gift too. Hug them. Tap their shoulders. You can also tell them that "it's okay we got your back." Compliment or appreciate them. REMEMBER THEM ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS, or greet mo din sila tuwing birthday nila O kung ayaw mo niyan tandaan mo there are 5 LOVE LANGUAGES. Mamili ka na dun.

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

Romans 12:10

Last na ito. They might have imperfections. Sometimes they go through their worse to worst phases in life. There are times they might show their weaknesses too but I am 100% sure they are willing to be changed day by day through God's mercy & grace. Remember to love them just as how God loves you. Remember to forgive them just as how God forgives you. You know JUST LIKE YOUR PASTOR, PKs have their own battles too & so with your Pastor's wife/hubby. Hand in hand help each other for God's glory.

JUST A THOUGHT FROM OUR EXPERIENCES AS PKs. 💖

Love,

Certified PK.

#ctto #lifeofaPK

0 notes

nolimitsongrace · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

How Shame Uses Hidden Sin

Are You Living in Condemnation? 4 Warning Signs That Something’s Just Not RightJune 27, 2019

Are you living in condemnation? The devil is sneaky, so don’t answer until you check out these four warning signs that something’s just not right!

Do you believe that God is the Giver of healing, prosperity, deliverance, peace, salvation, the Baptism in the Holy Spirit, a spouse, children and every other good thing, but don’t feel worthy to receive those things?

Wait, don’t answer just yet…keep reading.

Many Christians are refusing the gifts Jesus Christ has made available to them through His shed blood because they think of themselves as unworthy. Because of their past sins and mistakes, and the past sins and mistakes of others, they do not feel good enough to receive from a holy God.

Now you can answer. Does this sound like you? If you answered yes, then…Houston, we have a problem.

If you’ve been having trouble receiving healing, financial breakthrough or anything else you need from the Lord, and you struggle with feelings of shame and unworthiness, you may be living in condemnation that needs to be resolved.

What Is Condemnation?

Simple definitions of condemnation include feelings of guilt, shame, regret, fear and unworthiness…usually stemming from a past mistake or experience. These past sins could have happened 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago. Anytime we miss the mark, and we all do from time to time, the enemy will try his best to bring condemnation on us.

So, what are we to do? We are to believe and stand on the Word of God!

The Bible clearly tells us in Romans 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

Psalm 34:22 says the Lord redeems the life of His servants, and no one who takes refuge in Him will be condemned.

If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

He blots out our sins and does not think of them (Isaiah 43:25).

He does not punish us for all our sins or deal with us harshly as we deserve (Psalm 103:10).

Another important point to remember is that there’s a difference between conviction and condemnation. The Holy Spirit will let us know when we’ve missed the mark by convicting us of sin from our past or present, but He is a gentleman. He doesn’t aim to make us feel guilty, unworthy and fearful, but He leads us to repentance. Correction usually comes by a quickening from the Holy Spirit as you read and study the Word of God, or through a minister or pastor teaching or preaching from the Word. It can also come from a fellow believer who is walking in love. Condemnation, on the other hand, is brought on by the devil, and he wants to make you feel all the bad things—unworthy, afraid and guilty. He will often invade your thoughts or use people to accomplish his mission.

But there’s good news! You don’t have to live in condemnation, because Jesus paid the ultimate price for you to be free! So, it’s time to ask yourself, Am I living in condemnation? The devil is sneaky, so it’s always a good idea to check and see if he’s been pulling any of your strings and trying to cheat you out of the abundant life Jesus came to give you.

Below are four warning signs that you may be living in condemnation and that something’s just not right.

Warning Sign No. 1: You Think About the Past—A Lot“One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.” –Philippians 3:13 (NASB)

Do thoughts of your past seem to creep up out of nowhere? Sins and mistakes from 10, 20, even 30 years ago? Or maybe you keep reliving a negative life experience that left you hurt—over and over and over. Perhaps you’ve even found yourself saying on repeat, “I wish I would’ve…” or “If only I wouldn’t have….”

The No. 1 warning sign that you may be living in condemnation and that something’s just not right, is if you think about your past sins and the negative experiences of your life a lot. Recalling these memories can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed and like you’re never quite good enough.

This is why God tells us to leave what’s in the past in the past, and to press forward into our future. God wants to do something new and wonderful in your life, completely apart from your past, but you have to stop looking to your past in order to receive it!

How do you do this? Know that Jesus already took the condemnation for your past upon Himself. As a born-again Christian, you have been made free from every sin you’ve ever committed. Jesus bore all your sin, shame and guilt on the cross, so you could live free of condemnation—FOREVER.

It isn’t enough to just mentally acknowledge this truth, however. As long as you keep allowing yourself to replay bad choices or experiences, you’ll keep yourself spinning on the condemnation merry-go-round. Are you ready to get off?

Here’s how to do it: Take your thoughts of the past captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). When a condemning thought from your past crosses your mind, stop it dead in its tracks by speaking out loud. Say, “No. I don’t live in the past. Jesus has made all things new and given me a prosperous, guilt-free future. I am living fully in the present, and I look forward to what God is doing in my life right now.”

This might be a daily effort at first, so don’t give up if the thoughts of your past don’t immediately stop. Plus, you have an enemy who doesn’t want you to succeed, but remember, he’s already been defeated! So, whenever the devil tries to call you with reminders of past mistakes—hang up on him. Inform him that he’s been placed on your Do Not Call List, and you will not be receiving any more of his attempts at communication.

Make a decision today. Leave the past behind, and focus on the here and now, and your glorious future!

Warning Sign No. 2: You Can’t Seem to Forgive Yourself“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” –2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

If you find yourself beating yourself up for days, weeks and even years after you make a mistake, that’s a strong warning that you may be living in condemnation, and something’s just not right. Feelings of rejection, fear of failure, insecurity and depression are all connected to condemnation.

When you became a Christian, you literally became a new creation, a species that has never before existed. The old person you were passed away, spiritually speaking. The best news is that all of your past and future mistakes have been blotted out by the blood of Jesus! If Jesus can forgive you for past and future sins, who are you to not forgive yourself?

To forgive yourself, you must renew your mind to the truth of God’s Word that says you are forgiven and have been made new.

Remember, when you sin or miss the mark, confess and repent as soon as you realize it. Next, receive your forgiveness and cleansing from the Lord (1 John 1:9), and then take the next step and forgive yourself! Holding onto guilt and shame is refusing to receive His forgiveness, and it just wouldn’t be right to refuse this beautiful gift!

What’s more, Satan will take anything about which you’ve not forgiven yourself and beat you over the head with it. But if you forgive yourself, he’s neutralized.

This is such a vital concept to grasp, you may need to spend some dedicated time with the Lord to inquire of Him and search your heart for any areas where you have not received God’s forgiveness and have not forgiven yourself.

If you discover that you just can’t seem to forgive yourself, it’s a good time to ask, “Why?” What do you lose by letting go of the past and accepting the truth that Jesus washed away your sins and mistakes? What do you gain by holding onto past hurts?

Ready to build a deeper prayer life? Learn the 7 Steps to Prayer That Bring Results here.

Living in condemnation because you just can’t seem to forgive yourself is self-focused, and receiving forgiveness is God-focused. So, turn your focus back on God, forgive yourself because Jesus has forgiven you, and start living in victory!

Kenneth and Gloria Copeland pray for their Partners every day. Want to be under their covering? Find out more about partnership HERE.

Find A Daily Confession to Overcome Condemnation here.

Warning Sign No. 3: You Have a Judgmental and Critical Spirit“For you’ll be judged by the same standard that you’ve used to judge others. The measurement you use on them will be used on you.” –Matthew 7:2 (TPT)

Another warning sign that you may be living in condemnation is if you have a judgmental and critical spirit about you. What is a judgmental and critical spirit? It is one that looks for flaws and failings in others and forms a verdict or opinion about them. Criticizing and passing judgment on another person can help make us feel a bit superior in areas in which we feel we have the upper hand. At least I don’t do that! you may think to yourself.

Why is this a warning sign that you may be living in condemnation? Often, we judge people because we ourselves “feel” judged either by God or by people. When we feel judged, feelings of condemnation abound. However, often, we are only feeling judged by others because of condemning thoughts replaying in our heads. If we knew the truth of the matter, we’d probably be surprised to find out that the person we “felt” judged by didn’t ever give us one thought!

If you find yourself observing, judging and criticizing the faults in people—spouses, friends, family, co-workers, political leaders—or even pointing them out to others, the Word of God has some advice for you: Stop it now! The Bible clearly warns us of the dangers of judging others. When you sow judgment, you will reap judgment (Matthew 7:2), leading to more condemnation. It’s a vicious cycle!

Most of all, God loves you so much, He sent His one and only Son to die for you. Because you have accepted this free gift, you are no longer condemned; therefore, you are free from the thoughts and judgments of others. God says there is now no condemnation for you because you belong to Him, so His Word and love for you trumps everyone else’s opinion.

Other signs of a critical spirit fueled by condemnation include:

Being highly critical of yourself and comparing yourself to others

Needing constant affirmation from people around you

Craving compliments, while feeling threatened if others are complimented.

How do you go free from a judgmental and critical spirit?

Repent. This means to change your ways to God’s ways! Ask Him to show you the root of the critical spirit. If you truly believe someone is in error, refuse to criticize him or her, but pray instead! The Scripture says, “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand” (Romans 14:4, NIV).

Refuse to gossip or speak negatively about anyone, ever (Ephesians 4:29). Be cautious of what you share about others, knowing that love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), which means it doesn’t highlight or gossip about the failings of others.

Walk in love by choosing to speak life and build others up with your words. Go out of your way to say something nice to or about someone. When you’re living free from condemnation, you’ll find yourself eager to build others up.

As you go free from condemnation that comes from a judgmental and critical spirit, you will begin to naturally overlook the faults and shortcomings of others because you will be so secure in who you are in Christ. You’ll become a cheerleader for the Body of Christ and an excellent representative of the love of Jesus to the world. Instead of saying, “Look what you did,” you’ll say, “We’ve all fallen short at one time or another. But you can do it! I’m with you in this.”

Warning Sign No. 4: You Feel Unworthy“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5:8 (ESV)

Do you ever feel like you have to prove yourself? In today’s world, that’s what you have to do, right? On the job, among friends and even at home, the pressure is on to convince those around you that you deserve the salary, the friendship and even the love they give you. Why? Because you feel unworthy. Feeling unworthy is the next warning sign that you may be living in condemnation and that something’s just not right.

If you’re feeling unworthy of anyone’s love—be it a family member, friend, co-worker or even God Himself, you have to know and accept the truth: God considered you worthy enough to send Jesus Christ to die for you. That’s how He showed His love for you, and that’s how He showed you that you are worthy. Your life is very important to God.

If you feel unworthy, it’s time to get a revelation of the love God has for you. First John 4:16 says, “We have come to know and to believe the love God has for us…” (ESV). You can’t just know in your head that God loves you, but you must believe the love, or in other words get a personal revelation of it.

As Kenneth Hagin said, “Believing takes place in our heart, not our head.”

How do you do this? Meditate on scriptures that talk about God’s love for you. Ask God to reveal to you that He loves you. Then, be on the lookout for God to show you. He will. This revelation will revolutionize your whole life! To be loved by God and to believe it from personal experience…it’s a marvelous thing!

Next, you need to understand that, as Christ’s servant, you are called to please God, not man (Galatians 1:10). It pleases Him when you understand the high value He places on your life and when you have faith in His love for you.

Remember, God hasn’t based His relationship with you on your worthiness in and of yourself. He knows where you’ve missed. He knows you’ve fallen short. But when He looks at you, that’s not what He sees. You know what He sees? He sees the worthy blood of Jesus covering you. He sees you perfect in every way, ready to complete every good work He created you to do in this world. You don’t have to struggle to prove yourself to Him. As far as He’s concerned, you’re a proven success.

So, the next time you catch yourself struggling to make up to God for something you’ve done wrong, or you find yourself working to win His approval or the approval of others, stop and rest in His love for you. Remind yourself of how much God loves you. You are worthy to be loved by God Almighty! Your job is to please the Lord with your life. You already measure up.

Watch Gloria and Kellie Copeland talk about how the devil uses shame and how you can defeat him.

0 notes

nemesis-nexus · 7 years ago

Photo

Darkest Greetings and Salutations my Family, how is everyone on this rainy night? I am doing very well myself, I invoked a thunderstorm on the night of the Solstice and I could not be happier with the results! I asked that the clouds rolled in with lots of rain and that there were HUGE bolts of lightning that illuminated the entire sky and thunderclaps so loud that it was like tympani drums that echoed far and wide and BOY HOWDY! Not only did it look like midday when the lightning flashed but the thunder was so intense that it set off EVERY car alarm around! The lightning also ended up striking the top of the elementary school which in turn set off the fire alarm and even the fire department couldn’t get it to shut off! Thankfully they were able to get it to shut off as I and the other parents were filing in for the 5th Grades Graduation Ceremony though I think they had to cut the wires in order to do it, heh, heh, OOPS! Tonight is the night of the Full Strawberry Moon, the point of the year when the First Nation Tribes start to harvest the Strawberry bushes and other crops that have ripened! The weather has been temperamental this year so I hope this doesn’t affect how much those who rely on these crops as a source of food, money or both are able to gather and/or sell! That being said tonight’s sermon is a bit lengthy at 7 pages, but I had a bit to get off my chest, so without any further ado: Full Strawberry Moon 2018 Casual observances for the last month include those who are willing to say or do whatever they feel is necessary to get what they want no matter what it costs. We saw this when TigerSwan infiltrated the camps in North Dakota, we see this with religious zealots who refuse to serve the general public citing their religious beliefs as an excuse, we see it in the medical industry when it comes to prescribing medications that people need but don’t get because their insurance won’t cover the grotesquely inflated prices! These are the ongoing adverse acts committed by humans against each other EVERY DAY and yet instead of changing this, they perpetuate it! It’s almost as though they know they can and will never be superior to anything so they play God with other people’s lives and wellbeing to compensate the hit to their ego! The one thing that has always been offered in Theistic Satanism is HUMBLENESS; you have to be humble especially with that which you think you know because the likeliness that something is going to emerge from the distant past that may challenge your knowledge is very very high, this is something else we have seen ESPECIALLY in the last few years with the news that places like Hobby Lobby STOLE Sumerian artifacts and tried to keep it under wraps until they got caught and were forced to relinquish them! They were not the only ones who were caught in possession of these types of artifacts, it is amazing to see just how far people will go to destroy the past just so they can deny the truth! We saw this a few years ago when ISIS destroyed a number of ancient artifacts including two large scale Shindo Lammassu (Bull of Heaven) statues at the Mosul Museum in Iraq! Their first mistake was destroying them; their second mistake was doing it on camera for all the world to see! That was a mistake because they can’t deny that these things existed or what their functions were and they ESPECIALLY can’t deny that they PREDATE Islam! The thefts of these artifacts were also carried out for the same purpose, to deny their existence to perpetuate the lies of the other two Abrahamic Religions! Of course Father wasn’t having this so all guilty parties were exposed for the wretched liars and false prophets they are! What’s equally distressing is the outright lies these people are willing to tell about other people and other paths! Deception is one of the Human Race’s ugliest traits, it is the part of the psyche that enables us to know what a situation really is but hope that no one else is paying close enough attention so that when we speak ill of a person or group of people that the casual observer will be none the wiser and assume the worst. This tactic is often deployed by those whose jealousy, envy or fear of losing control is such that they will masquerade it by saying whatever they need to, even going so far as to attack those who never had ANYTHING to do with them, to whomever will listen and hope that person or those people will be the ones to spread the gossip and false information so the person who is the epicenter of the melee can play dumb and claim to be just another receiver of the false information. Narcissists are GREAT at playing this game, they will gaslight people who they feel wronged them even if the target of the gaslighting did absolutely NOTHING to them at all! The only way to deal with these types is to not deal with them, the one thing they ALL crave is attention, this is the main reason they do what they do aside from being incredibly mentally disturbed. When a person stops reacting to the lies they tell the narcissist gets more and more worked up and the stories – and that is EXACTLY what and ALL they are – they tell become more and more inflammatory! They will mash the buttons of their target much like a gamer mashes the buttons on their controller playing the latest fighting games to find the right combo that produces the most favorable results. When this doesn’t happen they will oftentimes claim that they only did what they did to protect OTHER people from the target thus continuing the gaslighting and hoping that they emotional manipulation statements will take root and fester. The problem with this is that those who know better won’t fall for it because they will recognize the signs and those who haven’t will oftentimes come around looking to see for themselves exactly what is going on and upon seeing everything BUT what the narcissist claims, will just shake their heads and walk away. Some will introduce themselves and others will have nothing to do with either party, both of these outcomes enrage the one who was attempting to ruin their targets reputation or at the very least cause significant damage! Great Father Satan if ANYONE knows what it means to relentlessly gaslighted and outright lied about in an attempt to ruin ones reputation and to turn the general public away from them YOU do! Since the beginning everyone wanted what you had to offer but they did not want to do what needed to be done in order to receive it so what did they do? They stole it, by any and every means necessary! From invading foreign lands and copying the stories of Creation and changing the names of the original Goddesses and Gods to claiming all Holy days as their own to MURDERING anyone – men, women AND CHILDREN – who refused to give up their Spirituality or way of life because they were a threat to the newly formed religions. You yourself personally were inflicted with the most egregious insult of all – you were taken from your rightful place as the PROTECTOR of Humanity and corrupted into this THING that wanted nothing more than the DESTRUCTION of Humanity! You were changed from the one who Keeps the Balance to the source of all Chaos and Discord! You went from being the Supreme Enlightened One to being the Human Races most dangerous enemy mocked with the title of Father of Lies and WHY? Because a group of Humans wanted to have it all and control it all without having to lift a finger to acquire it or share the bounty of Nature with other Humans so they lied, cheated, stole and KILLED to build their churches and temples thinking that so long as there was no one left to speak the truth of the time BEFORE the Abrahamic (and other) religions showed up, that their place as Kings of the Mountain was absolute. The problem is that they didn’t get us all, that for all the blood they spilled, for all the lives that they upended, for all the stories and holy days and symbols and traditions they took, WE ARE STILL HERE! We are still here because our connection to THE MOST ANCIENT FATHER AND MOTHER remains undisrupted and pure! We are still here because no matter what lies they tell, what manner of hate they spew, how they try to deny certain groups basic human rights, no matter who they condemn for living a life that THEY don’t approve of, none of it matters because it is nothing more than Human folly at work! Oh sure they just love to spout that their hatred is “gods will” or “gods word” and yet for some reason no god in the history of the Abrahamic religions has EVER come down from on high or even materialized in the sky to announce the “way it is” just as no god in the history of the Abrahamic religions has ever confirmed the content of the bible and we all know WHY! The reason is because their so called holy books are nothing more than rewrites of OURS! Our Holy texts have been confirmed by the long reaching geographical locations that present IDENTICAL symbols and Figureheads! They are proven by the creations of such things as a GIGANTIC staircase that no Human could ever climb because we are all about 20 feet (possibly more) too short! They are proven by a mountaintop that is so large and FLAT that it looks like a landlocked aircraft carrier! We know for a fact that we are NOT alone in the Multiverse, even by Mortal standards, what’s amusing is that people such as Galileo Gallipoli were accused of heresy when they insisted that not only is the Earth NOT the center of the Milky Way but that there was indeed life in space! He is not the only one, the church is INFAMOUS for attacking and KILLING ANYONE who speaks in contrast to the lies they preach! Some well known examples of those who moved us forward at the cost of their own lives include but are not limited to: Giordano Bruno (1548 – 1600) who supported the Copernican view – the view that the earth orbits the sun, and that the earth is not the center of the universe. More than this, he held the thoroughly modern view that distant stars are orbited by their own, possibly inhabited, planets. He stated that the universe is infinite in size and has no center. He was imprisoned for seven years while his trial took place. Eventually the Pope decided that Bruno was a heretic, with the result that he was burned at the stake in Rome. His beliefs about the earth, sun and universe were part of the reasoning behind his death sentence. He was also declared a heretic for his religious views about, for example, the Catholic Mass and the Trinity. Michael Servetus (1511 – 1553) had wide ranging interests in science, medicine, theology, law, and the humanities. He made important contributions in medicine and anatomy: he was the first European to correctly describe blood circulation between the heart and lungs, independently of Ibn al-Nafis in Egypt. He was pronounced a heretic by Protestant and Catholic Churches, because he denied the Trinity and he objected to the baptism of infants. He was burned at the stake in Geneva, Switzerland. Any books Servetus had authored that could be found by religious authorities were also burned, so the importance of his work was unknown until many years after his death. Hypatia (c. 370 – 415) lived and died in the Greco-Roman city of Alexandria, Egypt. Little is known for sure about Hypatia and her achievements. Our best source is Socrates Scholasticus, a historian who lived in Alexandria at the time of Hypatia’s murder. He wrote: “Hypatia of Alexandria, daughter of the philosopher Theon, made such attainments in literature and science as to far surpass all the philosophers of her own time. Having succeeded to the school of Plato and Plotinus, she explained the principles of philosophy to her students, many of whom traveled far to receive her instructions.” Hypatia was killed by a Christian mob, driven into a rage by claims that she was interfering in a religious dispute between the Governor and the Bishop of Alexandria. (These 3 example descriptions can be found at https:// www. famous scientists .org/7-scientists-who-died-violently/) Hypatia’s murder at the hands of a Christian mob is a GLARING example of not only the churches inability to handle opinions of the workings of the Multiverse (they never even entertained the notion that the UNITEDverse is called such because of its MULTIPLE layers coming together to form a Plane of Existence and not just one but SEVERAL, Sumerian philosophy in contrast has touched down on this MANY times) that contradicted their own extremely limited view, but the idea that a WOMAN was so well educated and respected that even MEN traveled from miles around to receive her counsel put them on the defense so much so that they SLAUGHTERED her because she was deemed a threat to their patriarchal tyranny! This is the reason why “Ain’t nothing like the real thing baby” is an accurate way to describe the philosophical differences especially in terms of the decline of rational and critical thinking as well as the subsequent subjugation of women and females to being HIGHLY regarded religious and political leaders to being not much more than brood mares and eye candy unless like Eva Peron, they are singing the praises of their husbands in an attempt to garner favorable status for themselves by bolstering their husbands or are otherwise selling their asses on MTV, the internet and elsewhere under the self-denial claim of “expressing their sexuality”! The reality is that in these cases they are not expressing anything except the idea that they can’t get anywhere based on actual talent or merit alone that they have to literally whore themselves to the public in order to accomplish anything! This is the same reason why game designers will make even the strongest female warrior wear a barely there BIKINI bathing suit type of an outfit into battle while the male characters are done up like the Knight of the Round Table, everything covered! Either they are insinuating that bitches be too stupid to dress for the occasion or they are perpetuating the idea that women are nothing more than eye candy who are not meant to be taken seriously, not even during a WAR! Believe it or not I am not against ACTUAL prostitution (provided all parties are consenting adults who are behaving responsibly) because first it is figuratively the oldest profession in the world but also because a prostitute isn’t lying about the services they offer! A prostitute isn’t going to tell you he/she’s selling his/her ass because he/she’s just expressing his/her sexuality, he/she’s going to tell you he/she’s doing it to make money! He/she may also say He/she chose this line of work because he/she just likes sex and if you can make money doing what you love then why the hell not? A prostitute, whether he/she works in a temple, a brothel or on the streets is not in denial of WHY he/she is doing it even though her/his personal story may vary from the next! The difference between the “bitches and ho’s” of rap and the skank nasty broads of pop is the ability to be honest with themselves as to their position in the grand scheme of things! What makes this all the more frustrating is that many of these females have been mentally conditioned since CONCEPTION that their place in the world is wherever their male counterparts tells them it is and their accesses to certain jobs such as Navy Seals and any kind of Infantry or Combat situation are nonexistent only because they are female when we know for a fact that in ancient times that WOMEN rode into battle right alongside their male counterparts with just as much aggression! There are still matriarchal societies where ONLY women live who train their women warriors in all manner of protection and defense to preserve their way of life so this idea that a female soldier is lesser than is really nothing more than pandering to the idea that women are the weaker sex. What is more disgusting is that sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape are RAMPANT especially during a deployment because many male soldiers have the view that women don’t belong in a combat zone or in the military at all with the exception of being nurses or secretaries! The only group that has it worse are the LGBT soldiers especially the transgendered ones who have all proven their worth on the battlefield but because they are different are subject to being gaslighted by other soldiers and even the government who started the conflict who can’t be bothered to fight them unlike the Kings and Queens of the Ancient Times! These are perhaps some of the biggest differences between the Modern world and the Ancient world. In the Ancient world religion wasn’t some guy yelling at people from a box threatening them with eternal damnation and suffering if they didn’t kowtow to the new church, it was Priestesses and Priests actually communing with the Spiritual World and passing on this information to those they deemed worthy to become Priestesses or Priests themselves or those who sought their counsel for any number of reasons. Religion wasn’t something that was acknowledged only when it suited someone’s agenda, it was a way of life! It was taking responsibility for both the things you DID do as well as the things you DIDN’T do, both positive and negative and handling the individual or group actions accordingly! Since the inception of the Abrahamic religions, it’s become an instrument of theft, oppression, violence and self-deification meant to boost ONLY the Human preaching it rather than the Deity they are allegedly preaching about! It is used as a weapon of hatred and an excuse to call for the imprisonment, banishment or outright MURDER of anyone whom the “preacher” declares deserving of it and based NOT on any actual crime, but the “preachers” assertion that the target of their gaslighting is “evil” and NEEDS to be destroyed because their RIPOFF REPORT of a holy book says so! This is why it is absolutely necessary to return to the Old Ways, back when people were held to their convictions and either rewarded or punished in accordance with the things they said or did that caused harm either to another person, group of people or the natural world, NOT because some self-righteous fear mongering ignoramus with an overinflated ego or sense of self-worth demands it based ONLY on their bias or self-serving delirium! It is time to reinstate the Ancient Goddesses and Gods of which ALL Gods and Goddesses who came after are recast from and return them to their rightful place! It is time to close the curtain on this three ring circus of greed, endless violence and division and remember WHY we were put here in the first place! It is time to stop trying to usurp the throne of the Gods and to stop pursuing this path ONLY because we think we will be given special treatments or rewards for having done what we were supposed to do while we are here! It is time that we stopped living for the money and resumed living for the moment! It is time to bolster Life, Love, Nature and Spirituality to the highest levels of consciousness and to throw Hate, Repression, Self-Doubt and Disconnection into the Fire! AVE SATANI! HAIL SATAN! We know who we are and we know what we want, we also know that we won’t throw anyone under the bus to accomplish these things nor will we waste our time haranguing those whom we no longer wish to keep in our lives because they themselves were all too willing to throw US under the bus to make their ends or a name for themselves! We do not have the time or desire to live in the past or to wallow in regret of what could have been if only! What’s done is done and the best course of action is to move on, to continue to build a viable future free from the condescension of lesser beings and the resentful glare of those who had it all but chose to bet the house and lost! At the end of the day there is nothing to be gained by losing your mind and sadly we see this happen quite a bit as well… Oh well, onward and upward we march to the future with our Blessed Father Satan guiding us every step of the way! AVE SATANI! HAIL SATAN! “Dragon Spirit In the deepest recesses of space and time when Humans did not dwell, Exist the beings whose knowledge supreme sprang up the eternal well! To know the Gods one must know themselves is a common turn of phrase, But to know oneself is the hardest part and can cause serious malaise! When tossed to and fro like a boat on troubled waters one can lose their way, But have no fear as you tether your sails and keep yourself from going astray! In time we learn that we are not only the boat but the Water the Essence of Life, We learn to see the omens and signs so as to preempt any strife! We are the lakes, streams, rivers and oceans the depths are limitless within, And we will rise like a slow tide raising the waters to catch the wind! We are the birds in flight spreading our wings so to catch the wind, We will not stop but we will rest atop the sturdy boughs of the tamarind! We are the coyote, the wolf, the bear, the fox, the beaver, the cat and the snakes, We have no reservations protecting ourselves and our own no matter what it takes! We are the burning fires whose flames dance with all due passion against the night sky, We are the Flora and the Fauna of the Earth whose treasures are not easy to come by! We are the children of the Dragon born created with the Great Dragons Concentration, We are grateful for all the effort put in and we joyfully cry out HAIL SATAN!” -Nemesis Nexus ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA! MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE! Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una! Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In Diabolus Nomen Nos Fides! AVE SATANÍ! (We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER! Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In Satan's Name We Trust! HAIL SATAN!) Ave URURU! Ave ENKI/EA! Ave NINGIZHEDA! Ave AZIMUA! Ave DIMUZI! Ave ININNI! Ave ERESHKIGAL! Ave NERGAL! Ave GILGAMESH! Ave ENKIDU! Ave TIAMAT! Ave ABSU! Ave MARDUK! Ave SARPANITUM! Ave SATANÍ! HAIL SATAN! HPS Meg "Nemesis Nexus" Prentiss

0 notes

skeletonsinherheart · 7 years ago

Photo

“I’m sorry. I’m so…sorry.”

What is it that keeps me going. Is it really just the violence? A way to bleed it out without actually doing it? Or feeling it? Because that’s what I’ve chosen. To bleed out. Yes it hurts…God does it ever. But as it seems, no matter what pain this brings me, I know you still want it. Just as much as I still want it no matter what pain it brings me. Or rather, brings us. I know this is difficult for you just as it is for me. You didn’t say much in the way of just how much this affects you, but you didn’t really have to. I saw it all behind your eyes and written across your face. The last few days alone without talking to you have been really hard, I had to stop myself from reaching out more times than I’d like to admit. From the moment you left me, up until the moment I decided to send this. But I’m sure I didn’t need to tell you that for you to know. At this point, I don’t care what you say or what blame you try to shoulder, I’ve done this to myself. But I feel that…there exists an equal amount of pain in this for me as there is life, so much life. An existence and feeling that I didn’t even realize I had been lacking until you woke me up. An awakening of connection. Of my body mind, soul. All of them yours, and only yours. You don’t just own me in a dom way, you own me as a whole. No matter what you choose. No matter where I look, at whoever I look for. And you tell me that if I only see you, I may miss another. But I don’t think you understand.  There is nothing left for me to search for, to try to find. There is nothing for me to miss. You are everything. Everything about you fits into me, and it’s as effortless as breathing with you. Something I humorously seem to have quite a bit of trouble with when you’re around. It’s like you are me. Much as I have tried to ignore it, rationalize it away, compartmentalize it, you’ve seeped into me, deeper than any hands could ever reach. And no matter what I do from this point forward, I have absorbed you so deeply that I don’t think I could ever be rid of you. I could disappear from your life completely and never speak to you again, and all of this would still remain the same. When I look at you, when you stare back, I see universes staring back at me. All of them, all at once, spanning the entirety of infinity. When I look at you, I see you. I don’t think you understand. Never in my life has any one person made me…FEEL…so much, so strongly, so often. Each time you have come around, your entire being has managed to demolish and level every manner of protection I ever saw fit to build. You burnt everything to the ground. Every wall, every corner marked with caution tape, every sign that read Do Not Enter. And each time, all it took was your eyes. Twice in the span of 6 months has fire been the source destruction in my life, of everything else I had left, inside and out. The real fire, which you have now seen the remains of with your own eyes, and you. And now I don’t know what it is that I’m left with. Smoldering rubble? Ash? Do I mourn the loss? Or revel in the destruction? Because destruction spawns creation. But, the question is now, the creation of what? Because I refuse to believe that your reappearance into my life is an accident. A mistake. Chance. I believe it to be creation, no matter what you think. Build. Destroy. Rebuild. Whatever this is…whatever we have, it is something that is one in a million, in every facet. Maybe one day what you said comes true. I find someone. I love them. They love me. But I would be settling for something that is second best, because I believe that my soul will always be searching for you, wherever you are. According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. And to be completely honest, I truly believe that is what I have stumbled upon. When I once again heard my name in your mouth, the ground felt like a language I hadn’t spoken in years. I forgot everything I knew about gravity, and everything else. I’ve mentioned to you before that I want a great many things from you. Would you like to know what some of them are? I want Saturday morning cartoons with you. I want to lay my head in your lap while you watch and introduce me to Doctor Who, because it’s one of the few things I haven’t gotten into yet. I want to watch our favorite shows together at night and we talk about our love or dislike for them. I want to share more Game of Thrones theories all the way through next year until it’s bitter end, and to finish it with you, because how else are either of us supposed to cope with THAT absolutely massive loss on our own, much less with someone who understands? I want to always be there when your hair falls into your eyes so that I can push it back with my fingers. I want your relentless ball busting and sarcasm, day and night, in the morning before I’ve even really woken up, at night when I’m falling asleep with my head on your chest and you flick my ear to wake me up, pretending you didn’t do anything. I want your ridiculous jokes when we’re trying to have a serious talk, or have sex but we just crack jokes and burst out laughing because we can’t help it. (POP - It’s a boy!) I want to watch Bo’s standup with you and share things with you that you haven’t seen so I can watch you laugh, and have you be there to teach me about things I’ve never seen or heard of. I want to buy and build that ridiculous $500 lego Death Star with you, to come home and have it be a project we’re both so excited to work on together and finish. I want to go to Harry Potter world with you, just to watch your eyes light up with excitement the same exact ways that mine do, and be there to watch you get your first wand and taste how sweet and wonderful frozen butterbeer is. I want to bring you Star Wars presents that I know you will love, and I will love them just as much. I want a giant nerd man cave with those beautiful Zelda prints scattered about the walls, and a massive Master Sword and Hylian Shield displayed right along with them. I want to show you Twilight Princess and play it with you, to watch you fall in love with it in all the same ways I did, because it’s clear to me that that’s how things work between us. I want to be there in the future to experience things together for the first time, things we both love and are passionate about. Whether it be games, movies, places….anything and everything. I’d want to have beautiful nerdy little blonde haired Targaryan dragon Slytherin babies with you, a son particularly, and teach him how best to take up our mantle of taking over the world. I want all of your stupid walls and all of your stupid feelings, all the stupid sappy shit we both think are dumb. I want your anger and your pain just as fiercely as I want your happiness and laughter. I want all the parts of you that you refuse to give. Because all I’ve ever done is give people pieces of me that they didn’t deserve, and nowadays I’m never quite sure what is left of me. But whatever is left…whatever you see, I want to give it all to you. I was always okay with just being somebodies someone. But since you, I don’t want to be anyone’s, I want to be your someone. Because I truly believe with every cell in my body that you belong with me. I would do anything in the world for the chance to be the person you come home to every day. Because every time I see you, I feel like I am home. Can you blame me for fighting so hard for that? Even still? How can I not? The last time I saw you, in our finals moments of the fast approaching goodbye, you cradled my face in your hands like I was something. That I meant something. That I was someone. That I mattered. You held every piece of me in that moment. Every burnt, smoldering, bleeding piece. In that moment, I let my face fall, I removed my mask and completely dropped the facade I’ve been so desperately clinging to, and I let you see what my pain really looks like. Utterly vulnerable. Something I do not allow or grant to anyone anymore. But I figure, what else could I possibly have to lose at this point, as I have nothing else. And I know that all of this, everything I’ve written is waaaay too fucking long and I’ve probably edited and added it over 100 times by now, hence the length, as the first draft was a fuckton shorter. And reading it back to myself over and over, it’s all just stupid poetic bullshit, I didn’t say ‘fuck you’ or 'eat a dick’ once so clearly this is way too serious, and neither of us like serious. I hate serious. I hate tears, feeling, emotions. Emotions are stupid and illogical and it drives me insane. But this is what you bring out of me, and I refuse to believe it’s for nothing. If you still choose the same path…you might be able to look her in the face and still put a ring on her finger. But do you think that you will look back and wonder? Picture your life if you had chosen differently? I would. I do. I know what you still want. I know that you love her. And who am I to compete against that and 6 years of time and investment? Nothing. Because you don’t love me, at all. But I ask you to ponder this. Everything that you just read, I want you to picture that as your future. Even if for a moment. Picture the potential of all of it. Because I would take any future with you. I don’t need a big house, fancy cars, fancy anything. I could live in a cardboard box with you and I would still be happy. I wouldn’t need a ring or a stupid piece of paper to tell me anything. I could live forever happy with the simplicity of just being with you. I don’t need much. I don’t. I never have. But…if the prospect of all of that is still not enough, then I’ll have to find a way to deal with that. I don’t know how. I don’t even know if I could. I know this isn’t a fairly tale, but this is something very real. And I know it’s never made logical sense to win in this. Much as I’m never one to ever give up, I still always seem to be the one that loses in the end and I’m tired of it. But again, I’ll have to find a way to deal. I’ve done it a thousand times over, what’s one more. All I know is that it’s far too late for me, because I don’t know how to give up. I never have.

0 notes

firedupreadytogousa-blog · 8 years ago

Text

DAY 21 (2/9): HOME OF THE BRAVE: UNDERSTANDING HOW ABANDONING OUR VALUES OUT OF FEAR IS BEING MISTAKEN FOR STRENGTH AND PATRIOTISM.

This one is personal and dedicated to the people I love.

We write this out of a need to understand why everyday this country feels like it’s on the brink of a civil war. And why the America we grew up loving so fiercely is deteriorating before our very eyes. Because, make no mistake, that in its current state, America does not feel any greater than it was before The GOP/ Trump Administration takeover. And I will call out the GOP because it is so important that the GOP’s complacency with the erosion of American values and principles is kept center stage as it is the key reason why all of this is allowed to persist. Granted, there have been a few members of the GOP who have come out to try to check 45, but by and large, the GOP continues to throw Lady Liberty under the bus in order to advance the interests of their donors, big oil, and corporate lobbyists, which makes them equally responsible for the current climate.

I, perhaps like many of you, have been gravely disheartened, not just by The GOP, but by millions of my fellow Americans in this country, who, justified by either extreme hatred, fear, and/or ignorance are slandering, insulting, and berating their fellow Americans on a daily basis in some of the most vicious bullying en masse that I've witnessed since re-watching the white mobs harass and attack black citizens during the civil rights movement. I less than 3 weeks, we've seen our global allies shun and mock us as they prepare to take over the role of being the leaders of the free world, a title the world does not believe we deserve to hold any longer. Proving once again, that fear does not equate to respect.

Personally, I have been a victim of this right winged bullying by some members of my own family who have relentlessly ridiculed me for being an immoral liberal who just wants all the terrorists to come in unchecked and are part of the problem allowing immigrants to "pour" into our country and take all our jobs. Despite pointing out our robust vetting system that is already in place and all the evidence/facts debunking their claims, it does not matter to them. Trump and Fox News has ingrained into their psyche that Muslim=Terrorist and immigrant=parasite. These same family members have questioned my faith and told me I needed to switch churches since my church did not outwardly support Trump (for context members of their church were fasting and praying for a Trump victory, while mine supported no candidate but preached a message of inclusion). My mother even told me during the election that she wants her future grandchildren to grow up in an "America that belongs to Americans," which was the theme of the Trump rally she attended. I must say that I am so disappointed, disheartened and ashamed that the people who I love and respect the most have abandoned not just the basic principles and teachings of Jesus but basic American principles that are the foundation upon which this country stands.

I've been trying to work through and rationalize why all this nationalism is so prevalent right now with members of my own family and throughout America. White nationalism is certainly one reason, but I am a logical person and I know most are not flat out racist or horrible people, and I don't think every single member of the GOP is racist either (except for Jeff sessions, totally racist!). What I see going on in Washington and with many Trump supporters touting their "patriotic nationalism," and some boasting of being able to openly call people "faggots, cucks, etc,” is a complete and utter abandonment of American Values. And if any Pro-Trump nationalist or GOP member ever wants to call into question what those values are, they can simply refer to the plaque at the base of the Statue of Liberty, which reads: "… Mother of Exiles. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teaming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost... to me." Or refer them to the Bill of Rights you know, the parts that talk about freedom of speech, of religion, that whole thing. This is what America stands for, these are our values, this is what we should be fighting to defend and working together to uphold anyway we can.

One of the things I'm proud of the most about America is when someone ask you to picture a typical American, it is truly an impossible task because there is no such thing. We are a melting pot or, if you prefer, the most delicious 20 layer bean dip you can find in the world. Our culture and our collective spirit is and always will be awe inspiring and impossible to duplicate because of the incredible eclectic mix of contributions in art, tech, cuisine, music, dance, film, architecture, literature, and because of the exchange of ideas and talents immigrants have brought with them from their respective countries of origin. Our strength is our diversity and is what makes America so great!

America may be the home of the brave, but at this pivotal moment in our young nation's history, we do not see the actions of the GOP, Trump supporters and enthusiasts as those of brave people. In fact, we believe they are quite the opposite. We see scared and frightened people who choose to cower behind their factless, tactless, baseless insults directed towards those who are standing up for American values no matter the cost. No matter what the issue is, healthcare, immigration, legislation, job creation, you name it, they are looking to take the easy way out rather than do what is difficult, acknowledging shortfalls and working on a compromise to address the issue resulting in long-term sustainability and success.

To be blunt, the fact that people would rather turn their back on their virtues and values instead of fighting to uphold them because it is the easy thing to do is the exact opposite of bravery. It is the opposite of bravery when a person gains strength and purpose from turning against and belittling their fellow citizens striving to uphold America's values. It is the opposite of bravery to "abandon ship" and dessert everything this country stands for in exchange for... what? The artificial sense of protection and safety that a physical wall provides? The false feeling of hope and job security one gets by restricting legal immigration, while leaving the fact that natural gas is collapsing the coal Industry, automation is reducing manufacturing jobs, and climate change is negatively affecting the agricultural sector unaddressed? The naivety of clinging to the promises of prosperity coming from the GOP pipe dream that big corporations getting massive tax breaks and loosening environmental regulations will trickle down as increased wages to the middle and low income classes ultimately solve the wealth disparity?

Actually, when you think about it, it's not hard to see why this is the attractive path many Americans have decided to go down, especially the GOP. It's easy to do when you are angry. It is much easier to prey upon and give into fear, than to offer or have the audacity of hope. It is much easier to place blame on one group of people for all the economic and wage disparity problems instead of admitting our failure to equip or train people for the changing jobs landscape/ demands. It is much easier to sit in and adopt a lie as truth than to stand up to the powerful liar in the name of truth. It is much easier to act in the interest of big corporations and lobbyists and take money from them than to take a stand in support of your constituents. And it is much easier to disregard and brush off the thousands of calls, emails, and protests from those constituents dismissing their concern as just agitators or professional protestors than to have to answers to ones actions (or lack of action) and change. For Christians it is much easier to hide behind the issue of abortion than to confront and speak out about the mounting ethical dilemmas and mistreatment of your neighbors whom you are instructed to love as yourself. It is much easier to try to rationalize misdeeds and unethical behaviors of those you've vehemently supported than to come out and condemn them or admit maybe you got this one wrong. And in times of hardship or uncertainty, it is much easier to abandon our country's values when you are afraid than to stand up and fight for total strangers and the injustices being enacted upon them.

In the wake of recent events, what I really want to say to people right now is along the lines of one of Sean Spicer’s finest moments when he said that if people don't want to get with Trump's program they should ship out. In reality if people don't want to get with America and Lady Liberty's program, maybe they should consider becoming a resident of a country that more aligns with their values... like Russia? (we hear it's lovely this time of year). But it’s much easier for us to go low with them, than to “go high.” And we are committing ourselves to not bash our misguided neighbors, but continue to fight for them, even though they will likely never appreciate it.

One closing thought we’ll leave you with. we’ll never forget when we were in Junior High School on 9/11 listening to President GWB (who, in 2 weeks, Trump has magically transformed into one of the greatest Presidents of all time) wisely warning us that we must not veer off our course as Americans and cast away everything we stand for today as a nation of immigrants because if we do, the terrorists win as they will have successfully destroyed America. So let me ask you... who in your mind is winning right now? For me it certainly is not America.

- STAND UP FOR AMERICA TODAY –

Action of the Day

It was unethical and illegal for Kelley Anne Conway, a federal employee, to officially endorse the Ivanka Trump product line. Call the Office of Government Ethics at (202) 482-9300 extension #5 to leave a complaint and ask for an investigation. When mailbox gets full email [email protected]

Some Sage Advice Circulating Around On How to Properly address recent issues. (Blame the GOP!)

1. Use his name sparingly so as not to detract from the issues. I believe that everyone, regardless of their beliefs, deserves the dignity of being called by their name. However, this is a strategic tactic. While we are so focused on him we are prone to neglect the questionable policies that threaten freedom, justice and fairness advanced by the administration.

2. Remember this is a regime and he's not acting alone;

3. Do not argue with those who support him and his policies--it doesn't work;

4. Focus on his policies, not his appearance and mental state;

5. Keep your message positive; those who oppose peace and justice want the country to be angry and fearful because this is the soil from which their darkest policies will grow;

6. No more helpless/hopeless talk;

7. Support artists and the arts;

8. Be careful not to spread fake news. Check it;

9. Take care of yourselves; and

10. Resist!

Keep demonstrations peaceful. In the words of John Lennon, "When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight! Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor."

When you post or talk about him, don't assign his actions to him, assign them to "The Republican Administration," or "The Republicans." This will have several effects: the Republican legislators will either have to take responsibility for their association with him or stand up for what some of them don't like; he will not get the focus of attention he craves; Republican representatives will become very concerned about their re-elections.

#Resist #ResistTrumpTuesdays #Indivisibleguide #NoBanNoWall #NoHateNoFear #Politics #USPolitics #TheResistance

0 notes

my-world-in-silence · 8 years ago

Text

Perhaps, who we are isn't what we do, but what we're capable of when we least expect it.

So many things can really get under anyone’s skin. And too many people think that they have all the right to plainly express their annoyance–-to a person or about a situation. It’s all so apparent how everyone is too self-absorbed. As if everybody has the responsibility to bother keeping them pleased and see to it that they’re not inconvenienced by another’s attitude (or personality)! What?! Are they seriously thinking that the world must adjust to what makes them comfortable and satisfied? The world is never ours to be so entitled. We all share the same space. We must all co-exist and stop behaving as if some others don’t have our same privileges, such as freedom to be what one is and self expression.

This is a reminder mostly to MYSELF. I get to look at the world time and time again from my small peephole, the social media. And by observance, I can readily tell what kind of a person one is. Have seen those who think they matter much that they make sure others feel little. Yet when the same is done to them, they’ll protest like they’ve always been saints. And there are those who try so hard to fit in. And sadly, they rather force themselves into boxes that turn them into the opposite of their best version. There are those who simply want to help contribute to the world. Bravely expressing their noble ideas and remaining loyal to their values. Some others just let themselves be swayed anywhere and everywhere, perhaps because life’s been too tough to even give a damn what everybody else thinks. Of course, it doesn’t end there. There are still a lot more.

That’s labeling. And if I were to label myself, surely, I’d do so with gracious understanding of my inner state. I won’t be too harsh in condemning my grave mistakes. And I’d defend the reasons behind every lapses. How I wish we all do the same to/for each other. Which, mind you, isn’t that easy. I’ve been trying....struggling to be that. Not because of my innate good, but because Someone greater than myself is leading me to the person I ought to be. Like right now. My fingers type differently from what I came here to say. When the reason why I am here is because I detest how this one person’s behavior has been getting into me. I wanna rant! Have been so upset with how anyone (someone) can simply say one thing and mean another…or do exactly the opposite what they professed. And am upset about it because it hurts to believe a word forced to you just to later on realize that it really isn’t what’s true in them.

Who wouldn’t get annoyed when someone comes to you and acts (persuade you) they truly like you and convinces you they accept you just the person you are, yet keeps getting disappointed you’re not the person they wish you to be? Worse, they will eventually make you feel so put aside by making sure you feel their disappointment. One of the many ways they do this is by liking all your friends posts on Facebook, while your posts they leave alone. To think those FRIENDS aren’t their friends, in the first place, if it weren’t because of you! Am annoyed not only because they can’t be true to their words but also because of the behavior. One may mean something now and verbally tell of it, but later on can change their minds. That’s everyone’s prerogative. I’ll not touch that. I won’t take that against anyone. But, the decency to behave like an adult, plus to also weigh things with maturity couldn’t be too much to ask. I mean, come on! We all have our own sets of friends. How pathetic one can get trying to act as if MY friends are their friends when they have more than enough circle of friends to attend to! They make me feel an outcast in my own sphere by ignoring me while paying attention to every single person not even their own crowd but just are linked to them because of me! I dunno if this is anything like a rare case and I’d get really frustrated if it is, cause it would only mean nobody can sympathize with me. It’s been centuries back since I last ranted like this, so you can all safely tell this has gone way beyond my understanding. Just what is that person’s problem?!

And I know am ranting pointlessly because would that person even know?! What’s more frustrating is that I am not the kind of person who would influence everyone else to side with me. While this person tries so hard to maintain their position in my circle. And the very fact that this person can’t acknowledge the things I explained a number of times (to disprove all accusations in their mind about me, which roots from one main issue--I won’t force myself into their mold) is what makes matters worse. Which is why I am left with nothing to do but to co-exist. This person convinced me that I don’t have to be anyone else but myself yet is the very same person who makes me wanna hate myself that I can’t be who they fancy me to be. Makes me remember how it is like in the world of women--they’d do everything to emotionally harass anyone that don’t meet their demands.

Then again, my Counselor highlights nothing else but manage my own inner state as I can never have any control of anyone. This usually triggers my annoyance even more. And I often ended up sulking (used to). But, thanks to my Counselor, I matured over time. No, I haven’t learned to shut off my emotions. No, I haven’t figured out how to better respond to such kind of situation. No, I am not trying to look good...and if you ask me, I rather go for what’s more convenient. Why must I trouble myself trying to be kind all the time while the rest of the world remains bitter and unkind and not sorry for every heart they break?! I don’t want that. I rather want to love and protect myself from the monsters in this world. Especially from those who wear masks and attack in a scheming way. But, my Counselor doesn’t think it’s the way my Creator wants me to function. He knows that by reacting to my emotions, I will only hurt my heart more. If there is any good within me, it is not by choice. It is because the Creator of Heaven and Earth designed me to be good because I am a contributor of beautiful things to a fallen world. Left alone to myself, I know I could have misused this vessel. I’ve done so quite a number of times, if truth be told. And I was left broken each time. Yet, I know that every single annoying, self-absorbed, mean, and detestable person out there is also like me--only reacting to the harshness of the rest of the world. Protecting themselves from pain, and so, misusing their truth. The truth that God created them to cultivate others; not to damage.

I have committed to God not to be damaging. It’s already such a wretched place we all live in and I am choosing to be a healer. A beautifier. A cleaner. A designer. A cultivator. Something inside me refuses to be because it’s risky. It’s costly. It’s too selfless that there is no other way to accomplish things but to sacrifice. To serve in that way is no joke. But, I see from God’s Eyes. I feel with His Heart. He loves all His creations. I being one must not think highly of myself. He loves those not-so-lovable people, too. He also loves those who want to see me hurt. Those who connive to put me down and leave me out. How else can I deny that fact?! Which is why I agree to what’s said in the book of Proverbs, “the more you know, the more it hurts.” I know the ways of God. I can’t even wish I don’t. Because I delight in them. I see wisdom and beauty in them. But, it requires a lot. Makes me understand why Jesus said, “count the cost.”This is my everyday feat--denying my own feelings just in order to remain true to how God designed me. Leave alone others to their peculiarities, but I live to please only GOD.

If there is anything, I guess what’s left for me to say is, “because I am loved unconditionally, that same love is also conquering even the tendencies within me that rather want me to run to my comfort zone and just be like the world. I can love ONLY because God keeps pouring HIS lavished love in me.” Therefore, I can confidently say, “I am being renewed daily with ever increasing glory into the likeness of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.”

#love #gods love #annoyed #love others #loving the unlovable #love conquers all #filled with god's love #my story #story of my life #my daily battles #life #reality #loved by god

0 notes

scucore-blog · 8 years ago

Text

On Glory and Grace

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. –John 1:14

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Before you read this, please realize two things. First, that this is not intended to be written from a place of spiritual authority. I am not calling you out on anything, nor am I claiming to have perfect knowledge of the grace and glory I write of. Truth be told, this essay was mostly written for my own edification, because this is something I struggle with. Second, I apologize if anything seems condescending or patronizing. I have a blunt and simple writing style. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get started.

When it comes down to it, all our struggles are either a glory problem or a grace problem. Either we refuse to acknowledge God’s glory, or we refuse to accept God’s grace. When we refuse to acknowledge God’s glory, we fail to realize the magnitude of our sin. When we refuse to accept God’s grace, we live our lives trying to earn our salvation.

Let’s break each of these down into specifics, starting with God’s glory. Such glory is obviously impossible to fully capture with mere words, but just think about some of God’s attributes. He exists outside of time and before the universe, a concept we can’t even begin to comprehend, much less define in human language. Go ahead, try. Any word you use will be in relation to some construct of this universe (“before” is in relation to time, “outside” is in relation to position). This alone should just blow your mind. He’s also omnipotent, being the creator of the entire universe, including spiritual beings like angels and demons. All this he created out of nothing, another concept that should just blow your mind, since even the human concept of empty space still relies on the concepts of “empty” and “space.” I could go on for hours about other attributes like omniscience and omnipresence, but for the sake of time and length I’ll cut it short.

In comparison to this incredible image of God, we are nothing but created beings. True, we are created in the image of God, but even at our best, we could never even come close showing what God is like. As such, we have absolutely no say in deciding truths or rules. If God says sin is wrong, it is. If He says even the smallest sin will result in separation from Him, it does. If God’s divine word says that we’re all born into sin, we are. There is no debate. So when the Bible says we are image-bearers, whose purpose is to glorify our Lord and Creator, we are, end of discussion. This is our job, and we should rejoice in it, for it is a wonderful gift and awesome responsibility. But we should also be a little terrified, because every single mistake we make is enough to condemn us to an eternity in hell. Just think about that. A single word of gossip or a single lustful glance is all it takes to condemn us to an eternity of suffering. One single sin is all it takes to completely deface the image of God to the point that we deserve an eternity paying the price.

Now, as anyone who’s read the Gospel knows, God sent his Son so that we might be free of this punishment in a wonderful act of grace. But like God’s glory, we fail to grasp the magnitude of the grace we have been given. To understand this better, look back at the verse at the top of the post, John 1:14. Let’s start with the first five words: “And the Word became flesh.” This event is, without exaggeration, the most incredible event in the history of the world. Think back to the dichotomy between God and mankind outlined in the two previous paragraphs. The God of the universe, whose glory is unimaginable (not to mention infinitely holy, eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent), decided to humble himself by taking a human form. Remember, humans are so wicked and depraved that we are worthy of hell because of our complete and utter failure to reflect our Creator’s glory. If taking this form were the end of the story, it would be degrading enough for God. But as we know, the story gets even better. In this human form, God decided to humble Himself further, offering Himself up as a sacrifice for all our sins. Not just one man’s sins. Not just some of our sins. But all of our sins, the number of which is surely too great to count. Yet He never regretted it for a second. His love is so encompassing and complete that He did all of this willingly and knowingly.

At this point, I can’t imagine how we could have a clearer picture of the enormity of God’s glory and grace. The Lord of all creation just offered Himself up as a sacrifice for all our sins voluntarily. The cosmic divide between God and us, both in terms of glory and grace, is already unfathomable. How could it possibly get any more mind-blowing? The answer, of course, is the resurrection. When Jesus rose from the grave, He triumphed over death, in both a physical and spiritual sense. Even bearing all of our sins, He was still greater than death. Just think about how much glory would be required to overcome that much sin. Yet even here, God was not content. Reading the next part of John 1:14 reveals that, “we have seen His glory.” So not only has God’s grace freed us from the eternal damnation we deserve (a damnation which would result from a single sin, much less the uncountable number we commit), but He has forgiven us to the point that we get the chance to see His glory. If God had simply been a sacrifice for our sins and not revealed His glory to us, that would have still been infinitely more than we ever deserve. Yet He goes beyond even this to grant is the privilege of seeing His glory again. This grace, so unfathomable, is what we have been granted, so that we might be image-bearers for Him on this earth and members of His family for eternity.

So how do our problems relate to God’s glory and grace? In the end, its all a matter of perspective. When we have the correct perspective, of how broken we are compared to how holy God is, we realize the depravity of our sin and make war on it. Yet this war cannot simply be an intellectual one. What I mean by this is you cannot simply say, “I believe that I cannot save myself and need God” while simultaneously working for your own glory. By working for your own glory, you prioritize yourself (and your glory) over God, which demonstrates a gross misunderstanding of God’s grace. One of the fruits that come from an understanding and acceptance of grace is humility. Nothing we do should ever exalt ourselves, for God is the only one worthy of exaltation. Because the hard truth is, God doesn’t need us. He was no under no obligation to create us, no obligation to have a relationship with us, and no obligation to save us. We’re the one’s who need Him. Yet all we do is reject Him, day after day, sin after sin. Each sin we commit is another sin we’ve laid upon our Savior’s back while he was there on the cross. Each wrongdoing is another burden He had to bear. Let that sink in. I know it sounds harsh (and it is), but it’s the truth, and we need to accept it.

Now, in this essay, I have spoken very little about love (I believe I have only used the word once prior to this sentence). This is not because love isn’t important; rather, it is because love is just one attribute of God. God is love, but He is also justice, righteousness, and holy. All these things contribute to God’s glory, and they all work in perfect harmony with each other. Thus, we must not neglect the other aspects of God’s glory. We must also be careful not to conflate the idea that “God is love” with the idea that “love is god” (but that is a topic for another day).

I realize that I have also not yet provided any general examples of misunderstanding grace and glory, and that is intentional. These are not something to be called out in a one-sided essay from some person you may or may not have interacted with. I will, however, offer some insight into my own struggle with this concept. The most recent struggle I’ve had in this area is a need to be needed. Much of the volunteer work I do it not because I want to glorify God, but because I want validation that I’m necessary. That I’m valuable because of what I can do or contribute to others. In reality, my value stems from being a child of God, created in His image. When I try to find value in my own abilities, I’m trying to earn my salvation. As obvious as this may sound to you reading this, it’s taken me awhile to realize this, and even now I know part of me refuses to believe it. After all, why would I want to admit that my greatest strengths and abilities are useless without God? Even now, I’m struggling with whether I’m writing this to glorify God or to glorify myself. The only reason I’m comfortable sharing this is that regardless of my motives, God is still glorified (see Philippians 1). And if my motives are selfish and sinful, God is gracious enough to have already forgiven me.

If you’ve made it this far, fear not, I’m almost through. I’ve done my best to explain the gravity and magnitude of God’s grace and glory, and by God’s grace, I hope it resonates with you. Regardless of whether or not it does, however, I would implore you to take two specific actions. First, and most importantly, communicate with God regularly. This means opening your Bible and reading it frequently, as well as praying daily. Read the four Gospels regularly, and pray for God to help you understand His grace and glory. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’ve had some sort of “awakening” to a glimpse of grace or glory. You still have work to do. As mere humans, we will never fully understand the fullness of God’s glory and grace. But as image-bearers, we have a responsibility to continue striving to understand it more. Second, immerse yourself in theology. You don’t need to drop out of school and enroll in a seminary, but you should at least read some theological works. The more you understand what God is saying in Scripture (all of Scripture, not just the four Gospels), the more you will understand his glory and grace. If you’ve never read a theological book, I suggest starting with Tim Keller’s The Reason for God and John Piper’s Desiring God. If you’re already an avid reader of theology books, I urge you to continue. I leave you now with the words of encouragement Paul writes to the church in Philippi: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things…practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”