#like he's failed raph for not seeing it sooner. he needed him and he was away (even though splinter was the one who sent him off) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raisin-shell · 2 years

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Raph’s Journal

Chapter 7: It’s Baxter Stockman!!!

Jesus fuckin’ Christ! I’m bein’ woke from one hell of a slumber by Donnie’s alarms blarin’, next thing I know there’s this robot thing that looks like genital crabs snappin’ at me! I’m poundin’ past these pesky fucks, stabbin’ each in tha face when I see Donnie huddled at his monitors. Mikey an Leo had their hands full… of crabs he he. What? Ya didn’t think I’d crack a joke at a time like this? Do ya even fuckin’ know me yet? Damn. Anyway, nerd boy had already torn one of tha chips from tha little critters an had analyzed it right back ta TCRI.

“Right back ta Dexter Stockholm.”

Donnie went silent fer a moment as he gave me this go ta hell look.

“I think you mean Baxter Stockman.”

“Will you two knock it off. Whatever his name is, he’s got to be stopped. Let’s clear out these robo pests and move!”

Yeah there goes fearless barkin’ off his orders again. An I just stabbed another crab robot in tha face. No biggie. But let me back up a bit…

So, ya all know what happened ta Shreddar… pinky got frozen by tha brain hehe. But what ya don’t know is what happened ta old poindexter. Oh yeah I heard he was severely punished. Somethin’ bout mutation or some shit. Anywho, tha Krang wasn’t too pleased ta say tha least, specially with his cowardice. He’s now a slave ta tha bubblegum wad we all know an love. Tha fucker failed at eliminating us once an we all assumed this was a desperate attempt to seek revenge. Now that yer up ta speed let’s get shit poppin’ an skulls crackin’.

Just as nerd boy had downladed tha final information he needed, a familiar voice faintly came across our coms.

"Ttthats right you putrid turtles! hehhe buuuzzzz.... You'll never be able to ssstttoooppp my mousers and once they are rid of you, they’ll be taking over this entire pathetic city buuuuzzzz buuuzzzz hahahaha hehhehe!!!!"

“Mousers? Oh yeah that’s original” Mikey piped up as he joined us at the monitors.

“Ha ha yeah! They don’t even look like mice. They look like genital crabs is more like it!”

“Raph… no they don’t. A genital louse looks nothing like these robo…”

“Uh guys I’d hate to break up this lovely argument but we got company! I think I figured out why he calls them mousers!”

Leo had a shaky tone to his voice as literally thousands of these pesky robots began to flood our home through each of our escape tunnels.

“Holy shit! They are just like rodents!!” Mikeys eyes shot towards master splinters quarters where he too had heard the commotion.

“What is the meaning of this?! We must stop these robotic pests at once and find Baxter storkman immediately before he wreaks havoc on the city!”

“It’s Baxter Stockman sensei. And don’t worry I have the perfect solution! He’s my latest invention! I call him metal head.”

Ok so I gotta admit metal head was this bad ass robot that Donnie created ta help him around his lab but I had my doubts when it came ta addin’ another aspect to tha team.

“Donnie… ya really think we need ta add him in tha mix…”

I was abruptly interrupted when these robot crabs started rippin’ my weight room ta shreds.

“Bring that bastard outta tha lab! Hurry tha fuck up about it!!”

With one press of a button the metal turtle came clompin’ out from his chargin’ area. A few clicks an beeps blipped from the giant bot as he began to target each enemy.

“Target detected. Take cover.”

His voice was mechanical and we weren’t sure what was gonna happen next but we didn’t question it, takin’ shelter anywhere we could as the metal turtle extended both his arms transforming them into what looked like semi automatic weaponry.

“Donnie!! You know it’s against our code as ninjas to use these type of weapons!”

No sooner had this left Leo’s mouth had the lasers began to spray, takin’ out every last one of tha troublesome bots easily. After about five minutes of the tank turtle sprayin’ his bullets, the smoke began to settle and the metal turtle raised both his transformed hands to his mouth, blowing on both as if to say no sweat.

“Okay. Maybe he can be useful although I still don’t agree with it.”

Leo still protested as we all made our way quickly ta where tha Taratuga was parked in tha garage.

“Just think of it as leveling out the playing field Leonardo. Those “mousers” are overwhelming. The way I see it, metal head can take care of those pesky things while we get to the bottom of what Baxter Stockman is up to. I have a feeling there is more to this than just these mousers. Obviously if he’s trying to eliminate us, there’s something much larger at play. And we are going to find out what it is.”

For once I was in agreement with Donnie. We checked with Sensei, callin’ both April an Casey ta stay with him fer backup before we took off for the TCRI buildin’ where that Binky Storkman was up to no good.

“It’s Baxter Stockman Raph!”

Okay whatever. Get outta my head. This is my journal. Ass.

We pulled up a few blocks away, sneakin’ up the sides of two adjacent buildin’s before leapin’ our way to tha top of tha targeted buildin’. Leo found a busted air vent we could easily slip through an all five of us went inside unnoticed. Tha place was full of these oversized tanks, filled with a greenish like ooze with what appeared ta be livin’ creatures trapped inside.

“Exactly what tha fuck does he got goin’ on in here?”

We all leaped down in silence except for metal head who made a huge clank that echoed throughout tha lab causin’ an alarm ta start blarin’.

“Great. Now you’ve gone an done it. Good job.”

I say as I’m grippin’ my sais an at tha ready fer anythin’. Leo, Donnie an Mikey followed suit with their weapons as well as we all looked forward and saw tha most disgustin’ thing we ever saw… aside from tha Krang.

“I’ve got you now you filthy reptiles! Buuuzzzz. There’s no escaping my lab! Haha hahahahaha!!!”

There he goes with that stupid as laugh and each one of us had our heads snappin’ back an fourth as reinforced doors began slammin’ down all around tha perimeter of tha room. But even that wasn’t as startlin’ as this dudes transformation… they turned him into tha worst mutant possible… a fly. A disgustin’ lookin’ one at that. As if he couldn’t get anymore annoyin’.

“I’m sssuurree you’ve met my little friendsss. Perhaps you need to get better aquatinted, yessss?? Hehe hehehehe!!!”

His slimy ass fingers pressed a button releasin’ even more of these crab bots an I swear I could feel my blood pressure rise.

“Metal head, you handle these mousers. Donnie, try to get to the database and see about freeing these beings that are trapped in these receptacles. Mikey, Raph and I will handle Binxter Blockman. Let’s move!!”

“It’s BAXTER STOCKMAN!”

Tha clearly offended fly began flappin’ his wings as he rose into tha air, cocking’ some sort of gun an lettin’ tha bullets fly towards us. We ducked out of tha way just in tha nick of time. I’m lookin’ over at fearless with a irritated look on my face.

“I’d rather handle tha genital robo crabs! Fucks sake!”

Meanwhile metal head is mowin’ down these mouser things left in right like it’s a piece of cake, we’re still strugglin’ ta get fly boy out of tha air so he won’t have tha high ground.

“How we coming along on that database Donnie?!? We can’t hold him off forever!!”

Leo, Mikey and I are chasin’ this fly around tha lab much like chasin’ an actual fly around tha house all while dodgin’ tha lazers sprayin’ like mad from robo turtles machine gun fists.

“Almost there… almost there…. No pressure Donnie no pressure…. I GOT IT!!”

“Nnnooo!!! You idiots!! Those are mutants. Some of the universe’s most deadly criminals all collected for my master to join his forces!! You’ve releaseddddd them you fools!!!”

The giant fly flew to the top railing where there was a panel of buttons, pressing one in particular that set off even more blaring sirens. He flew to his monitors grabbing a microchip before taking flight straight up through one of the glass windows and bursting through.

“Farewell turtles!!! Buuuuuzzzz buuuuuzzz!!”

“What was that all about? Criminal mutants? Holy shit Leo what have we done?!?”

Mikey began to back up as the whole foundation of the lab began to tremble.

“He hit the self destruct button!”

Donatello frantically began to run, grabbing Raph’s and Leo’s arms.

“We have to get out of here! Now!!”

“But what about the mutants?”

“Fuck tha mutants let’s go!!”

We began to climb makin’ our way out tha same way Beeker Stinkbug did, leaping across to tha adjacent building just as tha bombs went of and tha whole entire buildin’ went up into flames.

“What tha fuck was that? All those mutants?!”

“You heard him. Obviously Krang is building his own army of mutants to not only take over the city but the world. Possibly the universe. And he’s using shredders little pawn to do so.”

Donatello shook his head as he brushed himself off.

“Well, certainly those mutants couldn’t have survived that. Is everyone alright?”

Leonardo’s dad mode kicked in just as Donatello began ta panic.

“Where’s metal head!?!?”

We all looked over tha ledge to tha burnin’ buildin’ now collapsin’ into massive flames.

“No!!! NO!!!! We have to find him! He’s still in there!!”

“Donnie… let it go. He’s gone. We have to leave here before we are seen. You can always build another metal head.”

I felt bad fer Donnie. I knew that Metal Head was not only built fer these types of things. Donnie was havin’ such a hard time about my infatuation with Leo that he built himself his own companion. Someone who could be there fer him when I could not an let’s face it, I’m an asshole who gets in my moods and only really want attention when I’m sexually charged. So he had metal head as a friend. A very good close friend and my other brothers didn’t know or understand this.

TCEST COMING UP ⚠️

Once we returned home it was a moment of triumph and defeat. We had destroyed something evil, but Bonkster Stinkbut was still at large and Donnie was takin’ tha loss of his friend very hard. I decided ta try an cheer him up tha best way I knew how.

“Hey Donnie boy. How ya feelin’?”

“That’s a stupid question Raph.”

“Okay, yer right. But is there anythin’ I can do ta make ya feel better? Hm?”

At this point I had wrapped my arms around him, plantin’ a kiss on tha back of his neck.

“I’m not in the mood Raph, thanks.”

Now, normally I’d leave him alone but I wasn’t lettin’ up. I lifted him from his lab chair, sat myself down in it an sat him back down on my lap. I rolled tha chair over to tha full sized mirror and allowed him to look at tha both of us.

“Not even if I give ya a full show, hm? C’mon… ya know ya like it when ya get ta watch me slide my dick deep inside ya while I stroke that pretty long cock of yours. Everyone is asleep. I got tha lab door closed. Ya gonna be nice an loud fer daddy hm?”

I could see his cock swellin’ beneath those tight cargo trousers as his body began to relax against mine.

“That’s my good boy. Ya were such a good boy today. Ya deserve some special treatment.”

He’s doin’ that chirpin’ thing I like so much. He’s so fuckin’ sexy when he chirps fer me, lettin’ me know how bad he wants me. I slip his suspenders down, palmin’ his cock through his trousers and his eyes can’t move from my hand strokin’ tha mass between his legs.

“Ya like that don’t cha? When daddy strokes ya. Let’s take those pants off so I can see that pretty cock of yers.”

I wasn’t lyin’ Donnie had tha smoothest an longest cock of my brothers an I loved strokin’ it. With my massive hands it really gave me somethin’ ta play with. I slipped his pants down releasin’ his shaft and immediately began firmly tuggin’ and twistin’. Donnie began to buck just as he always did. I swear this man loved even tha slightest touch from me and it was always tha perfect ego boost. A churr came from him, deep as mine as his head lulled back an he enjoyed tha stimulation. I could tell he was mentally exhausted so I didn’t want him to have to do a thing. I wanted ta do this fer him, ta ease his mind about what happened with metal head.

“Mmmm that cock feels so good baby boy.”

I’m cooin’ an nibblin’ against his neck as he’s begginin’ ta pant and these soft little moans start puffin’ from his nostrils. His ass is rollin’ against tha massive boner I have beneath my shorts and I gladly give him a good roll of my hips so he can feel it.

“R… Raph… I want you to fuck me slowly.”

Now this was different. Normally I’d ram tha fuck outta him and have him screaming my name but if this is what he wanted, I’d do it. I’d do anythin’ fer my brother. I released my cock, lining it up with his tight but wantin’ hole and I slowly slid myself in. Both sets of our eyes layed up the conjunction, Donnie spreadin’ his thighs wide for tha deepest penetration as I began to slowly enter and retract myself from him. His hand reached back ta the back of my head guidin’ me down ta his kiss and I swear on my teddy bear my dad gave me as a kid, we’ve never been so close and connected before.

Such a bitter sweet moment ruined but in a good way…. The lab door had opened. We both sat there frozen, not knowin’, who was at tha door until it closed and we heard tha familiar clank of metal poundin’ towards us.

“M… metal head?!”

Donnie panted frantically. My arms still wrapped around him could feel his heart poundin’ beneath his chest.

“Yes. I’m here Donatello.”

Tha robot stood in front of us, slippin’ ta his knees as his mouth transformed into what looked like a flesh light. At this point I’m wonderin’ what tha hell is goin’ on but then tha robot said somethin’ that made it all make sense.

“Missed Donatello. Thought I lost Donatello.”

Tha cold grip of his hand removed mine from its duties as he began lowerin’ his head down ta donnies cock and he began ta bob up an down. Donnie’s back craned ta tha sensation, fingers curlin’ inta my arm as he began risin’ and lowerin’ himself upon my cock. It was tha sexiest shit I’ve ever seen and I wasn’t about ta question it. Nerd boy was wailin’, his high pitched moans ringin’ like music ta both our ears as I fucked his tight back door and Metal Head sucked every inch of his lengthy cock until he began to tense. Another deep churr ripped from Donnie’s throat as he spilled his seed into the robots soft tight mouth, overflowing the tight orifice with dripping thick cum. It was so fuckin’ hot I too seated myself deeply an blew my load into Donnie’s sweet tight ass.

“I gotta admit this is my first experience with a robot Donnie. I can see why you’re so attached ta him now.”

I’m chucklin’ as we’re both pantin’ an in a complete foggy bliss from our highs.

“Ummm yes. And if you tell anyone, I will dispose of you.”

“Yes. Dispose of Raph.”

“Alright alright. Relax. I won’t say a word. But we got bigger problems than me tellin’ about yer sex robot Donnie boy. We gotta find Blinker Boxman an get ta tha bottom of this mutant army bullshit”

“For the love of god it’s BAXTER STOCKMAN!!”

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2016 #tmnt michelangelo #bayverse #tmnt #raphs journal #tcest

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sylvain-writes · 4 years

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Unbroken (Mikey x Reader)

Rated: T Gender Neutral Reader, pre-relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, Mikey whump, brothers not coping well with stress/fear, victim blaming, affection, love confessions, friendship/love

Mikey's been injured beyond anything his family has experienced before, leaving his brothers terrified. While Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo struggle with their own guilt and fear, you take over your dearest friend's medical care. for @brightlotusmoon

Tension pours from the Lair into the tunnels. You move quickly.

Something had told you to bring your delivery of medical supplies early, but what you had chocked up to a gut-feeling now feels much more likely to have been a call from the energies that connect you to Michelangelo and his Father. That psychic pull flares as you draw near and there's no longer room for doubt.

Your messenger bag slips down your arm as you increase your pace. It catches on your elbow awkwardly as you carry the heavy cooler of sundry medicine vials, but you don’t let that slow you down. There’s panic in the air - anger and fear. Casey’s and Raphael’s voices echo through the space - another call for your attention.

Casey urges Raphael to stop raving before he says something he’s going to regret. But his pleas are ignored.

Raphael shouts over Casey’s shoulder from the tunnel into the infirmary. He spits accusations and threats at someone unseen.

In plain clothes, but with all the authority of a Detective, Casey gives Raphael a final warning before pushing past his raging friend and stepping up to you. He grabs the cooler and leads you into the infirmary, thanking god for your arrival.

“Donnie will be so glad you’re here.”

You would have come sooner had someone sent word. You’re about to say as much when Casey steps out of the way and the sight of Mikey laid up on a hospital bed leaves you speechless. Frozen. Donnie gives you a frightened look before his eyes drift to his quarreling brothers, then draws the curtain to block them out.

Raphael’s bellows behind your back, shocking you out of your stupor. “Ya shoulda been there!”

Your heart leaps, thundering against your ribs. You turn around, breath caught in your throat wondering how on earth you could have prevented such a thing. But Raphael is rounding on Leo, not you, shoving his older brother square in the chest as he brings his face too close.

“Ya shouldn’ta sent him away!"

Tension ripples up Raph's arms from his fists to his shoulders as he crowds Leo into a corner. "This is on you, Leo. If he don’t wake up- If he don’t... “

When words fail him, Raphael launches himself at his brother with a growl.

Casey’s face twists into horror as Leo, outwardly stoic and calm, takes his brother on.

In a quick series of grabs, Leo has Raphael twisted and pinned against the wall in seconds. Leo eyes him with a look of impatience and disappointment. “Walk it off, Raph.”

“Try’na get rid of me too, huh?” With his face pressed against the cement, Raphael grinds out his words through clenched teeth.

Leo turns to Casey, as if he doesn’t have time for such an inconvenience as this. “Get him out of here. He’s making Don nervous." His grip on Raph lets up as he turns to face the curtain once more. "We’ve been hurt before. We heal. Everything is going to be fine.”

You've only caught a glimpse of Mikey's condition. But you've never seen Donatello so scared. You wonder who Leo is trying to convince.

Raphael seethes as Casey takes him by the arm, but he isn't forced out of the room. "Ain't been this bad. Never this fuckin' bad." Raph's voice is hoarse from shouting and crying, but his words don’t seem directed at Leo anymore. As his disbelief turns from swears to prayers, you think you hear him making deals with god and the devil.

“Swear to god, bro,” Raph says, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, “if you don’t wake up, man…” With his elbows on his knees, Raphael buries his face in his hands.

Casey lays a hand on his friend's shoulder before the radio at his belt urges him topside. "I'm sorry," he says to the room. "I gotta..."

Raphael's head hangs lower, but he nods.

Leo stands stoic - arms resting at his sides, ignoring Casey's words of departure, watching the drawn curtain. Blinking but not seeing. His breath is even enough for him to be attempting some form of meditation, and you think that’s for the best. But you wonder how long the quiet will last.

Casey tips his head toward the hospital bed. A small jerky movement that grabs your attention. You look at him, head spinning. “You gonna be OK with this?”

You glance over your shoulder to where the curtain hides Donnie and Mikey from view. Slowly, you nod. Even before med school you were proficient at compartmentalizing. You can help Mikey without becoming overwhelmed by seeing your best friend in whatever condition he’s in. You just need to get in there, see what you’re working with.

“I’ll be alright,” you tell Casey and remind yourself.

You wave him off, draw back the curtain, and take a fortifying breath.

At the head of the hospital bed, Donnie moves as if on autopilot. He's set a PICC line just under Mikey's shoulder and is starting a transfusion. He's talking himself through the steps, laying out his plans for what to do next. Even as you approach, he remains completely focused on his tasks.

His hands shake as he lifts a fresh bag of fluids to the IV stand. Careful as he tries to be, the bag slips from the hook and lands with a wet slap on the floor.

You crouch down to help and lay a hand on his arm as he apologizes for this little hiccup in Mikey's care.

Unshed tears cloud his vision. He looks almost as pale as his brother lying on the bed. It's obvious he's doing the best he can, and you couldn't ask for more.

Donnie watches you easily hang the bag and open the line. He holds his breath as you properly take in the scene. “He shouldn’t have been out there alone,” he says quietly. It sounds like another apology.

From the edge of the curtained area, Leo parrots the same words. The way he says them, however, sounds like an accusation.

“He knows better,” Leo continues, coming closer to Mikey's bedside. The more Leo speaks, the more life returns to his eyes. Fire heats Leo’s words. You suppose anger is easier to feel than fear. “What was he thinking?”

From the floor, Raphael chokes on a sob. “You knew better. The fuck were you thinkin’, huh?”

Leo widens his stance and rolls his shoulders back, ignoring his younger brother's latest outburst.

The monitor at Mikey’s bedside beeps, Mikey starts to convulse, and it’s easy to tune out everything else.

You and Leo struggle to hold Mikey still as Donnie checks the equipment.

Donnie adjusts the speed of the morphine drip, scanning Mikey's body and the monitor displays. His mouth is set in a hard line. His jaw ticks with how hard he's clenching his teeth to keep his lip from trembling.

He wipes his eyes on the back of his wrist and pretends he's not close to tears seeing his only little brother injured beyond what any of them have ever faced.

Even as their eldest brother works to restrain Mikey from further aggravating his injuries, Leo asks if it's really a good idea to increase the narcotics. "We don't want him dependent on that stuff."

It was the last straw for Donatello. His resolve falters. He faces Leo with color high on his cheeks and opens his mouth to argue. But he sputters and fails to string together an explanation fit for Leo’s approval. Too much of his energy has been depleted by Mikey's care for Donnie to dumb down his course of treatment into terms Leo can understand.

You place a hand on Donnie's shoulder and offer him a knowing look.

"One thing at a time," you tell Leo with the calm authority of your medical expertise. "We get Mikey through this, first. We'll titrate him off the meds when he no longer needs them."

Exhausted and exasperated, Donnie ducks his head and steps aside to let you take over. He watches you assess the work he's done. He holds his breath as you review the scans and x-rays he provides.

There’s nothing for him to be ashamed of. His stitches are hasty, but they'll hold. The broken bones have been set properly.

There's a pain in your chest as your brain switches the images in front of you from patient to Mikey to patient again. You know that unbiased detachment will serve you best in your decision making tonight, but the crease between your eyebrows twitches as you spend a second too long watching Mikey's eyelids flutter, hoping for them to open.

Mikey is barely conscious, groaning with every squirming movement but seemingly unable to keep still.

The file Donnie's prepared lists a concussion on top of deep tissue bruising, stab wounds, broken bones, a dislocated knee, and a cracked plastron. Mikey's head is wrapped. Thick gauze pads the left side of his skull and dark bruises color his swollen face. With each injury your interest in the case, in the patient before you, grows more clinical.

You mutter, more to yourself than to Donnie or anyone else, your review of what's been done and what still needs doing. Donatello nods along, keeping up and eager to learn even in the midst of the crisis. Perhaps especially due to the nature of this one.

And after a few more minutes of tweaking the medications, your dear patient eases more deeply into sedation.

You smooth your hand over the gauze above Mikey’s ear and allow yourself a breath of relief. His glassy eyes blink up at you, unfocused until you run the back of your fingers down the side of his face.

Memories of all the times he’s called you ‘Angel’, the times it felt less like a place holder for ‘Dude’ and more like a pet name chosen specifically for you, poke and prod the edges of your mind until one memory rushes through.

You and Mikey sitting on the rooftops together. His feet dangling over the edge of the building, kicking out a rhythm as he percusses with his hands upon his thighs. You rocking forward and back as he listens with rapt attention to you talking about Med school: your residency, your hopes and dreams for advancing the field of neurobiology, and the sundry inbetween stuff that never feels like tangents when you're speaking with him.

You’re lost in the memory of the night, of you and Mikey and endless possibilities, when Donatello gives your shoulder three taps and pulls you back to the present.

The hairs on your arms rise when Master Splinter arrives to check on Mikey's progress. You wish you could say it was his raw psionic power that gives you chills, or his virtuous presence that tears your attention from your patient. There's no compassion or concern flowing from him right now. And it's neither respect nor admiration you feel for him in this moment.

Though Splinter approaches the bed, his energies remain rather distant. Cool. Complacent. He reaches out to Mikey through their psychic bond and nods in approval. "He will learn from this,” Sprinter says, voice a low, monotonous hum. “Grow stronger." He turns from his youngest with a clipped, "Humph," and moves to the corner of the room without offering a word of comfort to any of his sons. He sits to meditate, unperturbed by the scene.

As if taking a cue from their father's indifference, Leo and Raphael start up their squabble again.

It's too loud. Too much. Reading Splinter's energy and watching Mikey's shrink from it like a kitten being scolded for mistaking wicker furniture for their scratch post tests your nerve, grates on your mind, and burrows under your skin.

A year into your residency, and twice as long helping the Hamatos, you think you'd be able to handle anything. But you begin to get shaky. How Donatello worked so long with his brothers looking over his shoulder and arguing behind his back, you'll never know.

Every now and then Splinter comments on the strength of Mikey's chi. He seems oblivious to the fact that his son was literally writhing in pain on this hospital bed moments ago. The harder Splinter insists on Mikey’s resilience and tenacity, the more you feel Mikey pulling in on himself, frightened to show his Father the truth of his condition. Protecting his family from his frailty and pain even as he lay nearly unconscious.

Meanwhile, Leonardo insists that this all could have been avoided if Mikey would have exercised some patience and common sense by not going up to the surface alone.

“Where were you, anyway, Raph?" The unending feud cycles around and around. "You’re supposed to look out for him.”

When Leo starts apologizing on behalf of Raph's and Donnie's negligence, you think his younger brothers are going to snap. You make the call to get them all out, so you can focus on Mikey without worrying about playing referee.

Leo catches Splinter on the way out, making plans to meditate together through the night.

Before Donatello leaves, he pops by for a goodnight. “Get well quick, little bro,” he pleads, squeezing his arm and dropping a kiss upon the crown of his brother’s head.

Raphael does similarly, adding that they’re bedroom won't be the same tonight. Without Mikey's headphones hanging off the side of the bed, still playing music while his snores somehow ride the beat of each song, Raph won't get a wink of sleep. “Won’t sleep til you’re there buggin’ me again.”

Mikey responds with quiet murmurs that his brothers all but ignore. They're more accustomed to and comfortable with hearing their own voices than listening to their brother's pain.

With the room clear, it’s easier to hear Mikey’s mutterings for what they are. Though speaking through a fog of pain and anaesthetic, he’s not incoherent.

Your heart sinks to realize he understands what's happening to him, that he’s likely heard everything that’s been said in the room. The shouting, the crying. The selfish demands on his suffering body. The detached sureness of his Father.

So confident that all will be fine, Splinter hadn’t even laid a hand on Mikey or spared a shred of empathy before he had gone.

You pay close attention to Mikey’s words, letting them inform your care.

Mikey’s eyes peek through heavy lids, trying to follow you around the room. But when you’re at his side again, and your hand strokes his face, his eyes close. He leans into your palm despite his bruised and fractured jaw.

For a few minutes you remain just like this - cradling his face in your hands, watching him drift in the haze of sedation, feeling his energies ebb and flow from their hiding place in their search for the safety he’s always found with you.

“I’m here,” you assure him gently. “It’s only me.”

Your promise is enough for his energies to move free.

Hushed sounds and quiet clicks of your tongue fill the space between you as you put Mikey’s mind at ease. Your fingers pitter-patter over his cheek bones and down the sides of his neck as you palpate for further injuries. They pass over his clavicle and shoulders as Mikey stutters a breath.

A sling traps his arm against his chest, where his fingers tap the scute over his heart. It’s a small movement, perhaps one of the only movements he can safely make in his condition, and even then, it must be a challenge. For someone you’ve only seen lying this still during his most depressive episodes, you think being incapacitated thusly must be torture.

His bandaged hand is heavy as you lift it. His fingers are cool under the press of your lips. They curl reflexively around yours and you kiss his hand again.

“My best days are the ones I spend with you,” you whisper. It hurts to be burdening him with such a thing right now, but you also think it’s a truth he should hear sooner rather than later.

Mikey’s chest rises and falls with staggered, labored breaths as you pet his chest. You talk and Mikey lets your voice wash over him. He leans his head back, relaxed and floaty, feeling like he's in a dream. And as he has so many times before, in dreams, Mikey tells you he loves you.

You bite your lips together as tears fill your eyes. For the first time tonight you think they’ll truly spill over. “Love you, too,” you say, and it doesn’t matter to you whether he means it romantically or as friends because the relationship you share and the love you’ve fostered for each other doesn’t need labels or constraints.

When Mikey seems to be falling asleep you try to give him some space, but he doesn’t want you gone. His mind is quieter when you’re at his side.

You rub his leg as you stand by his bed. Though your back is aching and your feet protest the constant bustle, you still haven’t been able to sit.

“Tell me if you need anything,” you say in earnest.

Despite your efforts to keep Mikey hydrated, his words are but a croak. “Just you.”

“Hm?”

“You here. Could you-” Mikey’s eyes close and his hand turns palm up on the bed. Though he can’t muster the strength to lift his arm, his fingers curl and release inviting you back. You slide your hand into his and give it a light squeeze.

“Stay,” he whispers weakly.

Sleepy, and still in pain despite the heavy opiate cocktail you and Donatello created for him, Mikey gives a weak tug on your hand and whimpers, begging you to understand what he needs.

You climb up, thankful for the extra wide bed, and rest against his wrapped plastron carefully. He buries his face into the top of your head. He nuzzles the hand you’ve raised to cup his cheek. The soft, sleepy sounds he makes drift in and out, sometimes words and sometimes just a hum.

“...M no good,” Mikey mumbles into your hair, and you feel his breath hitch. “Not good enough.”

“Oh… no, baby,” you say, bracing yourself on the mattress and pushing up to look him in the eye. You stroke the lines of his brow ridge above his eyes, left and right, until his eyes flutter open. They shine with tears threatening to fall. “You’re always enough. Always been enough.”

He gives the slightest turn of his head, but his eyes stay locked on yours as if desperate to believe your words. His lip trembles. His tears slide down his cheeks.

“You’re perfect, sweetheart.” You continue to pet his face, but you let his tears fall freely, letting him know it’s alright to cry.

“For you?” Mikey asks, bordering on inaudible. But you hear him. The question rises from the depths of his being, calling out to you, and you answer the call with the truth of your soul.

“Always. Perfect for me. Forever perfect for me.”

#TMNT x Reader #tmnt x gender neutral reader #mikey x reader #michelangelo x reader #gender neutral reader #my writing #angst #hurt/comfort

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molzies-fanfics · 4 years

Text

Whoops

A/N: I’ve never actually broken anything so I hope this is somewhat accurate, also anon I’m really sorry I didn’t respond earlier but I hope you healed up well!

Parkour had been a hobby once upon a time, but you had started posting videos on the internet, gaining followers over the past couple of years which led to earning a lot of money. So this basically became your job, but wasn’t it everybody’s dream to enjoy what they did for a living?

Although one day you were so caught up in your twists and flips from one surface to the next you didn’t notice that someone had spilt something…

Waking up in the hospital was a nice surprise, a bump on the head and a broken leg was the more nasty one. God…you had no idea how your boyfriend was going to react.

Leo was an incredibly loving and careful boyfriend, sometimes you couldn’t picture your life without him…but right now? You really didn’t want him to come over and see the epic blunder you had gotten yourself into.

He had texted about an hour ago, saying he would drop in when he would get the chance during patrol. It wasn’t like you could just say no! If you said no that would raise suspicions, leading to him coming over anyway. It wasn’t like Leo didn’t trust you, he just got concerned over whether you were getting kidnapped or not.

Letting out a massive sigh, you sat up to try and reach for the tv remote, but moving resulted in tugging the skin trapped under your cast causing you to hiss in pain. “Y/N?” hearing a familiar voice, you whipped your head around meeting the bluest eyes you ever did see. “Hey Leo…” you tried to sound casual, failing miserably as his gaze focused on the dark blue cast. “Oh my god, Y/N what happened?” he questioned as he rushed to your side, cupping your face in his hands.

“Well I was doing some parkour today and…I slipped.” You winced at the recollection. “Oh love, I’m so sorry. Do you need anything?” you were surprised in the change of conversation, originally thinking he was going to scold you for being so reckless, but you saw the concern etched into his features and knew he was being serious.

“The TV remote and some water would be great?” you wondered if you were doing the right thing, taking advantage of this opportunity. “Of course.” He smiled before handing you the remote. With the TV flickering to life, you turned back to him. “I thought you would be mad.” You almost whispered to yourself. “I am a little bit. It’s just…my need to take care of you kinda overrules that.” Leo chuckled to himself as returned with your water.

“Oh…well thanks.” You showed a weak smile before gulping down the glass. “Woah, slow down. You don’t want hiccups as well do you?” he laughed. You attempted to gulp down the lump in your throat as well. “I just realized…I won’t be able to work for so long now.” You gasped. “Love, you need time to heal, and that’s better than irritating the wound and starting all over again…isn’t it?” Leonardo rubbed circles into your shoulder. “I guess so.” You spoke into your glass.

Leaning over to give your forehead a kiss, Leonardo leant his head against yours, staring into your eyes. “I’m here for you.”

Raph had squeezed through your window without even letting you know he was coming. You couldn’t decide whether it was nice of him to surprise you or inconsiderate if he scared you. But you knew this time it was you who was going to give him a shock. The red banded turtle lumbered through your living room before spotting you on the couch.

“Hey…babe?” his tone changed as he spotted the cast trapping your leg. “Hi Raphie.” You greeted pathetically. “What the hell happened? Who did this to you?” he didn’t move as his temper soared, his features expressing a mix of pain, anger and regret. “No one did this to me! Well…unless you count myself.” You chuckled sadly. “…what?” he whispered.

Shutting your eyes tight, you didn’t want to see the look on his face when you told him. “I hurt myself today whilst filming. I wasn’t looking where I was going, there was some water…I slipped.” You sighed, preparing for the worst. Expecting him to yell, stomp about, reminding you what you had done and how he would continue to until it was drilled into your mind how dangerous your job really was. Maybe even tell you not to go back to it…

“Idiot.”

Surprised at the emotion in his voice, you opened your eyes to glance over your boyfriend. “What?” mumbling almost to yourself. “I said you’re an idiot. You should be more careful.” He almost smiled. Instead he sat down on the couch, bicep brushing against your uninjured foot. “I-I’ll keep that in mind.” You stumbled “You’re not mad?”

“How can I? You’ve received the brunt of your mistake anyway, I don’t want to add to that.” He gave you a sad smile whilst rubbing your leg affectionately. “Aw…thanks Raphie.” you whimpered, still a bit emotional from a stressful day and Raph just had to go and be a sweetheart. “Oh hey…don’t cry.” He got up to move closer to you, shuffling himself under your back so you could cuddle.

“Sorry…it’s just been a long day and I wasn’t expecting you to be so nice to me. My mom yelled at me so much today, complaining about how much the hospital would cost me especially since I won’t be able to go back to work now and earn the money back” you started to sob into his chest. “Shush, babe, everything will be alright. And if thing’s get tough around here you’re always welcome to come crash with us.” Raph suggested thoughtfully.

“Your…your brothers won’t mind?” you sniffled, completely bypassing the thought that your boyfriend had practically asked you to move in with him, despite it being purely for your benefit. “Hell no, you’re family Y/N.”

You ended up launching yourself at him then, ignoring the pain in your leg from the sudden movement as you latched your lips onto Raph’s.

“You are so sweet, y’know that?”

“It happens.” He chuckled.

Donnie was practically a doctor himself, so when you broke your leg and only found out when you woke up in hospital, you knew he was gonna be pissed. Not by the fact that you broke it in the first place, but maybe because you didn’t come to him about it. Face it, it would’ve been difficult to get to him with a broken leg but at least it would’ve been free and you would’ve been able to see your boyfriend in this difficult situation.

Walking on crutches back to your apartment only to find out the elevator was out of order was a treat though. The cherry on top of this whole mess. After spending a whole hour, yes an HOUR, climbing the stairs with your cast on, you opened your door to be greeted by none other than Donatello.

“There you are dove! I was starting to get…worried.” He was excited to see you before his eyes fell to your cast. Feeling way too tired for this, you were hoping he wasn’t about to start an argument. Closing the door before anyone in the hallway could see him, you turned around only to be met with a hug. Which was kind of difficult seeing as Donnie was six foot six.

“What happened? Are you okay? Well, clearly not you’ve broken your leg! Do you need anything? Water? Hot water bottle? Do you need me to help scratch your leg? I’ve heard casts can be super scratchy.” Your boyfriend started to ramble. “Donnie! I’m fine, I just need to sit down. The elevator was out of order so I had to use the stairs.” You explained briefly before hobbling over to the couch. That was before Donnie scooped you up bridal style of course.

“Let me take care of you.” He smiled warmly. You were too exhausted to say anything but “Okay.” Laying you down on the sofa, Donnie got you some snacks, blankets and put your favorite movie on. Curling up into his arms you realized how truly grateful you were to have a boyfriend like Donatello. Kissing him on the cheek, you gave him an exhausted grin, staring into his emerald orbs before placing your head in the crook of his neck.

“I’m here for you always dove.”

“Thank you Donatello.”

You couldn’t lie to Mikey, you couldn’t even keep a secret from him. His face was like a magnet for your affection, and that included being truthful. Which meant you had to tell him that you broke your leg and that was why you had to cancel your date. So, when you texted him without saying why, he immediately asked if he could come over instead. Knowing it was better to go this over with sooner rather than later, you said it was okay.

Dreading the minutes in between the text and when he arrived, you sat there trying to get comfortable with, what felt like, an over sized cast. It was like slow torture on a mental and physical plane…which sucked. All you knew was that Mikey would be upset when he had seen what had happened, but he wouldn’t be angry…would he? You’ve never seen Mikey angry before, but that doesn’t mean he never had been angry. Anxiety started to build up in your chest, today had been challenging enough.

“Hey sweet cheeks! Sorry I took so long, want to pick up some pizza!” He chirped as he stumbled into your living room, leaving the window open. A draft picked up, causing you to shiver. As if sensing it, Mike picked up the nearest blanket, came over and wrapped you up in it. He then sat down next to you, completely ignoring your cast set on the pillow next to him, and took a slice out of the box.

“So how was your day?” He beamed. Sunlight was basically coming out of his cheeks at this point. “Uh…kinda horrible?” you chuckled to yourself, starting to find it funny that he hadn’t noticed yet. “Oh no, how come?” he then rubbed your leg. You gave him a look before gesturing to where his hand lay, looking down Mike finally put two and two together.

“Oh my god! What did you do?!”

“HAHAHA, I love you Mike.”

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soldrawss · 4 years

Note

What would their personalities be like in the reverse au? All the brothers are usually pretty protective, so is Mikey the protective one now?

Their personalities are, for the most part, pretty much the same. It’s just their dynamics with each other that is the biggest change!

Mikey is still the bubbly optimist and sunshine child he is, and tries to do his best to be the best brother he can be to Raph and Leo and Donnie and do GOOD by them. He’s protective like any big brother is, obviously, but that protectiveness got a little more strained and heavy to carry when he became the boy’s sole guardian and substitute parent. And Mikey, though he’d happily sooner work himself into an early grave than show it, is terrified that he’s inadequate. That every day poses a threat of him messing something up, something big, and all it would take is for one little slip up for the powers that be to take his baby brothers away from him forever. He’s protective in a way he wears on his chest like a suit of armor. He’s proud of his burden and he wouldn’t have it any other way if it means he gets to keep the three best things that have ever happened to him safely in the circle of his arms. But it’s a burden none the less. A weighted responsibility, dragging him down and wearing him thin, but he trudges on anyway because that’s just the way it is since pops died.

Leo and Donnie and Raph are protective right back though, the only way a child knows how to protect the person they love.

Leo and Donnie are old enough to know what’s at stake. They know what Mikey puts himself through to provide for them. How that first 2 years after dad’s death, Mikey took up the worst kinda jobs in the worst part of towns, just to get a paycheck big enough to squeeze all their necessities out of, and even though he’d been working for 16 hours, and his feet probably killed him, he still would make dinner for them, ask them about their day, help them with homework and listen to whatever nonsense they had to say like it was the most interesting in the world. How Mike would stay up late even after the long and probably rough day he had, getting barely three hours of sleep at a time, just to try and scramble together enough credits in pieces and tiny handfuls at a time to earn himself an associates degree, so he could do even better and work even harder to provide for what was left of their little broken family. They know all of it. They see Mikey kill himself every day for them and pretend he doesn’t and it invokes a sort of protective rawness out of them that is just as toothed and fierce and braided in well-worn love as Mikey’s and they work hard in their own right.

It’s little things mostly, things they don’t really think are that big but add up immensely. They keep the house clean, take turns doing the dishes and laundry and make a game out of it for Raph so that Raph doesn’t get fussy or bored while they keep up with house chores. They pick up Raph from daycare on their way home from school, swinging his hands in between them as they walk down the street so that he doesn’t get the wise idea to rush out into traffic at ever bird or stray cat he sees. Donnie helps Leo with his math homework, cause Leo swears 6 ways up to Sunday that Mrs. Andrews is trying to fail him on purpose, and Leo always picks Donnie first to play on his team during P.E and recess even though his friends groan about it to him and Donnie sucks at contact sports, and half of everything they do already is just a twin thing anyway. But they can’t deny that half of it is also for Mikey’s sake. Because every A+ science project and winning homeroom is a sort of red flag the twins wave in defiance of all the adults in their lives that look down on Mikey taking care of them and Leo and Donnie dare anyone to look at them and thinks, “those poor Hamato children. If only there was someone older than could take care of them. Give them the life they need.”

Which is stupid. Because they already have the life they need. And the twins don’t want any part of whatever life others think could be better than a life without their big brother, who is all cat jokes and warm hugs and tickle wars and ‘sure, of course, you can make a pillow fort in the living room, use my bedsheet to make one of the walls’, in it.

And Raph doesn’t know about all the big things his brothers know, like how money is always tight and there are people right outside his door that could take Raph away whenever they feel like it. Or how there were some people who looked at Mikey or Leo or Donnie, who looked at the three people who made up Raph’s whole world, and thought that they weren’t the literal best people on the planet and that they didn’t deserve whole moons and stars and suns as far as Raph was concerned.

But there are things even a 7-year-old can see and understand. He can see Mikey's eyes go distant and glossy, like they’re a million miles underwater when he looks at the mail sometimes. Or how Leo and Donnie will share a Look, capital L, that could mean one of a hundred things, whenever Mikey came home way later than he was supposed to and Mikey would say he’s fine, and hug Raph just as hard as Raph would whenever Raph would make the breakneck run from wherever he was just to be the first to meet Mikey at the door like he was trying to prove it. And Raph saw the slouch in his shoulders and the lines under his eyes but he decided to believe his Mikey anyway just for appearance's sake cause that’s what little brothers were supposed to do.

And Raph couldn’t do much to help out like Leo or Donnie could, he didn’t know how to be helpful like they could be. But Raph could smile. And he could laugh and he could hug Mikey so hard and sometimes it took his best tricks, but he was always able to chase the shadows in Mikey’s eyes away, and at the end of the day, sometimes, that was enough.

#rottmnt #big brother mikey au

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fishiesgonefishin · 3 years

Text

Coping - drabble

Karai was strong until she let herself be weak.

A small drabble focusing on how Karai coped (or struggled to) after all she’d been through with the mutation, Shredder and the brainworm. They really ought to have gone in depth with Karai’s emotions in the show, but I suppose they didn’t for good reason. It’d be a can of worms. And that’s what fanfiction’s for, after all.

Read here at Archive Of Our Own, or more under the cut

Karai was strong until she let herself be weak.

It had started happening ever since she got back to the lair. Now, she was living there full-time. Her mutation was under control, the brainworm was gone, and Karai was free from Shredder’s grasp. But not free from his shadow.

Most of the time, things were fine, and Karai was integrating herself quite well into the household. Of course, it was a learning curb for all of them, having someone else live their full time. But for a while April had practically been a permanent tenant, so it wasn’t like the turtles were completely unfamiliar with having a new face around.

She’d train with Leo in the dojo. She’d eat pizza and watch movies with Mikey. She’d throw friendly jabs at Raph as they sparred. She’d take an interest in Donnie’s inventions, more than his brothers ever had.

Things were nice and normal.

Most of the time.

Then there were the times she wouldn’t come out of her room all day, sometimes for days on end. Leo would try talking to her through the door, or Mikey would try and persuade her out with promises of movies and pizza. At best she’d say she just wanted to be left alone. At worst she wouldn’t reply at all. Master Splinter had told his sons that she needed time and space to collect her thoughts. After all she’d been through, even before the mutation, it was a miracle she was doing as well as she was. It was a testament to her strength; she was a force of nature. But she wasn’t bulletproof. No-one was.

They’d leave food outside her door, and a hand would slide out and grab it. She’d skulk over to the bathroom now and again, not making eye contact with anyone, but forcing a smile if she did.

It was a process. They would give her the time and space she needed. It was a marathon, not a sprint.

Leonardo found this the hardest to grasp. It was in his nature to help, to see the problem and find the solution. Knowing someone was suffering, someone he cared so much for, and being unable to do anything about it, crushed him.

Fearing for her, there were times when he went against Karai’s wishes and pried her door open a crack. Sometimes there’d be quiet music playing, sometimes dead silence. Karai would be huddled on the bed, facing away from the door, but she could tell from the crack in her voice as she asked him to leave that she’d been crying.

Sometimes they’d hear a smash coming from her room; something had been broken. After the first time Karai broke two fingers punching the wall, she never did that again. Now it was ornaments, lamps�� something they’d find in pieces in the garbage a few days later when she’d snapped out of it and cleaned up the debris.

Karai could be volatile at the best of times, but when the flame of anger was sparked by the hurt she was trying and failing to repress, it was that much worse. The first time Karai had smashed a vase, Leo had run in to see what the commotion was about, and was rewarded for his troubles by Karai throwing a lamp at his head. She missed, smashing it to pieces against the wall beside the door, and he hurried out after she screamed at him to leave.

The next day, she sheepishly apologised. Leo hadn’t taken it personally. He knew better than that.

Sometimes she’d leave the lair at night, then return home a few hours later, wobbling back into her room. Leo would wait up for her, unable to sleep until he knew she was back safely. He’d ask if she was okay. She’d slur her reply.

Occasionally when she left at night Leo would follow her. She caught him a few times, told him to go home, assure him that she was just getting some fresh air and not to worry so much. When she didn’t catch him, he’d follow her on the rooftops as she walked into a bar or a liquor store, more often than not preferring to take a bottle of whiskey and sit on a rooftop alone. He debated joining her, but worried that’d be too much. He didn’t want to get into a fight with her, which he knew he would, regardless of how good his intentions were.

Sometimes he heard her mumbling in her sleep, or wake up with a start at her screaming. Sometimes they’d all hear, dash out of their rooms to check what was happening, battle-ready seconds after being fully asleep. But one look from Leo and they’d retreat back to their rooms.

He’d look in on her, bring her a glass of water, ask if she wanted to talk about it.

She never did.

Sometimes she’d just be tossing and turning, mumbling in her restless slumber. Leo’s room was closest, and he’d hear the disturbance. Sometimes he’d press an ear against her door, debating whether to wake her from the bad dreams or let her ride it out herself.

When he chose the former, the reply was always the same.

“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

When he chose the latter, knowing he’d never get back to sleep, he’d instead slide down to the floor and rest against her door for the remainder of the night, like he was keeping guard.

But he couldn’t protect her from what’s inside her mind.

One time he awoke to her screaming, and by the time he got to her door, the sound he heard put a crack into his fragile heart.

Swallowing down the thick lump in his throat, he gently opened up the door and peered inside.

Karai was awake, mostly shrouded in shadow from the darkness of the room, but the glow from the living room shone a harsh picture on her tear-stained face. She was facing the door, gazing up at him with a broken stare. She wasn’t even trying to hold back the tears this time, her whole body convulsing as she shuddered and shook through the onslaught of emotions.

Leo’s heavy eyes met hers, and his mouth hung open helplessly, wishing he had the magic words that would fix everything, that would bring that beautiful smile back onto the face of the girl of his dreams.

All that he managed was, “D-Do you want to talk about it?”

Sniffing, Karai shook her head.

Leo knew the drill by now. He wished these episodes didn’t happen at all, let alone at the frequency they did. But when they did, he knew the routine. Smiling sadly, he went to leave.

“Don’t,” a weak, cracked voice called out to him. He turned back, looked down, and she was reaching out to him. Her head was lowered, her gaze averted. “Don’t… don’t leave.”

Leo’s heart thrummed in his ears. This was new. This was progress. Maybe… maybe she’d let him in? Open up. Give him a chance to help her! To talk and listen and-

Quickly, Leo caught himself. If he went too quickly, no doubt her walls would spring right back up. Leo knew how much Karai would hate to be treated with delicacy, but he had to do so anyway.

She shuffled over, and Leo sat down next to her, placing a large hand over one of her tiny little ones, studying her with a weighted gaze that bore no pity. There was only boundless love, care and concern in those ocean blue eyes.

Karai pulled back, and pulled him with her. The two laid down beside one another, facing one another, and Karai huddled into his shadow, clutching onto his hand like children clutch onto teddy bears to help them through violent storms. Leo wrapped his other arm over her back, drawing her nearer, and held her as she shook. He held her silently as she shivered and cried and cursed her existence. But before long, much sooner than normal, she fell back asleep. Maybe it was his presence, or maybe just the sheer exhaustion, but Karai fell asleep in his arms and slept through the rest of the night in peace.

Leo listened contently to the steady rhythm of her breathing, the slowing of her heart rate, and didn’t know whether to smile or cry. He wanted to do both.

It was going to take time, it was going to be painful, but he would be there for all of it. When Karai needed him, whether to talk and vent, or simply to hold her until she fell asleep, he’d be there for her. It was a promise he’d made to himself years ago, and he’d never renege on it. He loved her too much. Probably more than she’d ever know.

But all of those things were the worries of tomorrow. Right here, right now, he was doing all he could for Karai. Such a simple act was enough for her. And so, not long after her, Leo drifted off into a peaceful sleep too.

#Karai #Leorai #Fiction #Mine

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crazywritingbug · 5 years

Text

Scars - Raphael

Raphael x Fem! Reader

@missbeautyandherbeast

Raphael had never thought he could fail this badly. Badly enough for his breath to catch in his chest and his body disobey his commands to move. He never thought he could fail badly enough for her to be in danger.

“I would not advise you to move.” The Shredder spit the words, even as Y/N galaxy painted sneakers dangled off the floor. She had always been petite, but never had she looked quite so small and fragile as when Shredder had a grip on her throat. How had he found her? How did he even know about her? Raph hadn’t even told his brothers. Had Raph not been careful enough when he went to visit her?

The questions bounced around his head, blurring with fear. Y/N was his sanity, his safe place. He loved her, he couldn’t lose her. He had to fix this. Even if she would probably never want to see him again afterwards.

“Raph…” He just barely heard her say his name. He’d always loved how she said it whether it was a whisper or a yell. When she said it, it was more than just his name because there was always something more there. Something he never could place.

“Yer gonna be okay, Y/N…” Was he trying to assure her or himself? “I promise.” She nodded even as she gasped for breath, the sound lost beneath Mikey’s exclamation.

“Dude, you know this chick?�� Well that secret was out...

“Are you sure?” The Shredder chuckled darkly, lifting his blades to Y/N’s cheek.

NO!

Before the word could leave his lips, the blade arched down her face, the angry red wound slipping down from just beneath her beautiful E/C eye to her jaw. Raph ground his teeth, her pained cry echoing through his mind. Raph stepped forward, adjusting his grip on his sais. He was going to destroy Shredder if it was the last thing he did.

“Raph, be careful!” Y/N yelled even as the Shredder left a second mark on her beautiful face. She wanted him to be careful? She was in danger! He was going to rip Shredder apart or die trying if that was what it took to get her safe. Even then he was mad enough to...

Oh.

“Leo...yer call…” Every fiber in his body rebelled against saying those words. He couldn’t risk her life, he couldn’t let his temper control him, not again, especially not here. Even if he would like to shove the Shredder’s head through the pavement. Several times. Y/N needed him to keep calm.

Leo glanced at him, frowning before looking back to Y/N. “Alright… Raph, you get her, We’ll take him.” That was a plan.

They charged the Shredder. Well, at least he did until the metal lad man tossed Y/N aside like a rag doll. Raph darted over to where she landed, dangerously close to the edge of the roof. She looked up as he neared, blood and tears streaking down her face as he gathered her shaking form into his arms. And in that instant, it hit him just how close to losing her he had been. Shredder could have just killed her, instead of using her to hold them off from stopping the release of the gas, or she could have gone over the edge of the building. He could have lost her in an instant.

“I’m gonna get ya out of here, doll.” Raph whispered, cradling her close as he stood. She shook her head. Why was she arguing with him? Now was not the time for that -adorable- stubbornness.

“No...You need to help your brothers…” Her voice shook even as she said it. “I...I think I can get off the roof by myself… It’s more important that you stop him…”

“You’re my priority.” He claimed even as he moved towards the exit, devouring the distance with his quick strides. Y/N shook her head again, H/C locks falling in her face and sticking in the blood. Why was she fighting him on this? Why was it so important? He just wanted to try to make up for getting her into this situation in the first place, no matter how impossible that would be.

“Raphael.” She made an effort to get out of his grasp. “Help your brothers, please. Because if you don’t, it won’t matter if I’m safe. That poison will coat the whole city.” Raph paused, letting her down with a frustrated growl. She was right, she always was when it mattered.

“Fine.” He huffed. “But ya get out of here and get out of here fast. And stay safe.” He couldn’t lose her. Out of the whole world, she was the one person that saw him for more than his appearance or his temper. If he didn’t have her, he didn’t have anything. “Promise me ya’ll stay safe…”

“I promise.” She seemed to attempt a smile before turning and running for the maintenance door. He hated seeing her go, but at least he could pummel the Shredder without terrifying her farther.

***

“Would you like to explain just how that girl knows you?” Leo snapped, hardly waiting five minutes before returning home.Raph just glared at him. Every muscle in his body ached, the adrenaline giving way to exhaustion. Didn’t Fearless feel the same? No, of course he didn’t, he was perfect. Fearless never could understand just how far Raph would go for Y/N or why. Y/N...Raph had to check on her. But he probably couldn’t leave until after his brothers went to bed.

“No.” Raph growled. “I want to sleep.” He brushed by his brother only for Mikey to speak up.

“Seriously dude, how do you know her? That girl is hot.”

Oh no. Raph paused. Mikey did not just call her “hot”. She wasn’t hot, she was beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, and angelic. Not just hot. Besides, Y/N was Raph’s girl, how dare his brother say something like that? Baby of the family or not, Mikey did not get to get away with speaking of her like that.

“Y/N,” Raph leveled a glare at his brother. “Is my girlfriend.” His temper brought the words out in a hiss, even if the meaning behind them made his heart do a strange little dance he still hadn’t gotten used to. He left them with that ignoring Mikey’s curious questions and Leo’s frustrated ones, and Donnie’s shocked stares. He loved his brothers, but he doubted they would ever approve of the risks he had taken with seeing Y/N. Risks that had been worth it until today. Risks that had nearly cost him her.

***

Her window was unlocked and part way opened, just like always. Hopefully that meant not much else had changed, at least here. Sliding the window open, he climbed through.

“Raph!” Y/N exclaimed softly, just about leaping off her bed and into his arms. He nearly staggered. He had only caught a glimpse of her face but it was enough to see the bandage that covered a good portion of her face. He’d failed her and that was why she had that…

He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close, all too aware of just how tiny and fragile she was. How did he not see it sooner? Why hadn’t he tried harder to keep her a secret? To keep her safe? Why had it taken her nearly dying for him to see it?

“Are you alright?” Y/N pulled back slightly, studying him, looking him over. He wanted to laugh at the irony. She was still more concerned about him than anything. Selfless as usual.

“Just a little sore, doll.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s been a long day…”

“Do you want some hot chocolate? Something to eat?” She asked, frowning slightly. He shook his head. While his stomach would welcome her amazing cooking and her fabulous hot chocolate, all he wanted was to hold her close, to breath in the scent of her coconut shampoo and feel her gentle touch gliding over his skin as she whispered whatever she wanted to say or say nothing at all. He wanted things to be normal.

“Do you want to cuddle?” She tilted her head as she asked it. Chances were she already knew the answer, but she was always so careful to ask.

“Yes please.” He whispered as she climbed back onto her bed. Carefully he joined her there. Slowly as not to crush her, he almost laid on her, resting his head on her shoulder. Laying there, he could feel her heartbeat, drumming in perfect time with his. He let out a sigh as he nuzzled her neck, just enjoying the way her fingertips traced the pattern of his shell. This was the way things should be. Not having to worry about the Shredder or brothers or anything else, just enjoying each other.

“Raph!” Y/N exclaimed softly, “Your shell is cracked!” Right. The Shredder owed him especially for that particular ache.

“It’s fine,” He muttered, “It will heal.” He felt her sigh, before she pressed a kiss to his forehead. This girl might as well be a queen, she was so sweet, so perfect. Even what others would call faults, he could only see as part of her beauty. Her subtle streak of stubborness, the way she let her heart overrule her head, and the way she refused to let others dictate her actions and thoughts. How she balanced that with her tender selflessness, her compassion, and the joy that seemed to just overflow from her heart, he didn’t know, but he admired and loved her all the more for it. Yet...how could Y/N possibly love him back?

He was a mutant turtle, massive, green, and chained to a life in the shadows. He could never give her everything she deserved. He wasn’t worthy of her, and she had been put in danger because of him. He...he was dangerous. He had enemies, not to mention his own temper. What if he struck out in anger and hurt her? He could never forgive himself for letting her get within the Shredder’s reach, nevermind if he hurt her. Raph couldn’t let that happen. He loved her too much. But how? As long as he was around there was a chance of that happening.

As long as he was around.

“I…” He didn’t want to say the words, didn’t want to leave her, her warmth, touch, and the comfort he found there. Up until today, he had always felt like enough when she was nearby. Never good enough for her, but enough for himself and for his family.

He would miss that.

“I need to go…” He muttered, pulling away. She frowned up at him, the expression looking so wrong on her peach pink lips. He should have kissed those lips more.

“You just got here a little bit ago.” She voiced the protest his own heart was crying. “Is something wrong?

“No, nothing is wrong.” He lied, “I just wanna get home and get some sleep.” Raph tried to smile down at her, but everything in him was screaming for him to kiss her, to tell her that he loved her and just how much. But how could he tell her that he loved her then leave her? It would break him in a million pieces.

It would break her.

“Okay…” Y/N whispered. Blast it, he couldn’t leave her without a kiss, without one last taste of her lips. He leaned in and tried to memorize the moment. The softness of her lips, the sweet taste of coconut and something else that was entirely her. The feeling of her hands sliding over his shoulders, his neck and playing with the ties of his mask. Why did he have to be a turtle? Why couldn’t he have been a human? One who could stay here with her and be by her side for everything?

He couldn’t help a frustrated growl and kissed her deeper for half a moment before his head took control again. What was he doing? Why was he making this harder for both of them? He broke the kiss, but couldn’t quite bring himself to pull away just yet, hanging his head as the shame overtook him. He was going to hurt her, but she would be better for it.

Y/N would be better without him.

“Raph, what’s wrong?” She always knew. Why did she always have to know? He forced himself away, off the bed and towards the window. Raph paused there.

He had to do this.

He had to say goodbye.

He couldn’t look at her, even when he heard her climb off the bed. A shiver ran through him as her hand landed on his shoulder.

“Raph…” Tears pricked at his eyes.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

***

Raph had never been so miserable in his life. Even as his brothers, April, and Vern celebrated, as the whole city celebrated the defeat of the Shredder, Raph couldn’t force a smile past the pieces of his broken heart. Shards of pain inside his chest that cut and sliced at him every time Y/N’s name flashed on his phone. He felt as if he was being destroyed from the inside out when he read a text message from her, the words richoting in his head for two weeks.

I don’t know what’s wrong Raph, but if it’s my fault, please give me a chance to fix it.

She was blaming herself when the blame was his and his alone. But she was stronger than he was. She would be fine; she would be better off without him and the danger that followed him.

“Raphael!” Leo’s words snapped through his head. “What’s with the moping? You’ve been pouting for the past month and I’m tired of it!” Raph lifted his gaze from his cereal to glare at his brother. How could Leo possibly understand what Raph was feeling?

“I am not pouting.” He grumbled, not missing the looks his brothers traded. What was that supposed to mean?

“Dude, are you still upset over me calling Y/N hot?” Mikey asked. Raph ground his teeth at the pain hearing her name caused him. Why couldn’t his brothers just leave him be? He said nothing, dropping his gaze back to the increasingly soggy Cheerios.

“Wait, this is about Y/N, isn’t it?” Leo claimed, but there was no anger in his voice. Raph could only nod. The words wouldn’t come. How could they? The pain seemed to have sliced his vocal chords.

“Is she okay?” Donnie asked.

“I don’t know.” There was his voice, cracking on the words. “I haven’t talked to her...not since we beat the Shredder.” There was the honest truth, plain and simple.

“What?” Mikey asked, but it was Leo’s question that he paid more attention to.

“Did you at least go check on her after?” Leo quizzed. “She did get hurt.” There was a heartbeat of silence as Raph let his brothers figure it out. Donnie was smart, he should at least get it.

“She got hurt. You’re blaming yourself for that.” Leo claimed and Raph couldn’t help but flinch at the words.

“It is my fault.” He met his brother’s gaze only to start. There was no disappointment there, rather some kind of strange kindness.

“No it’s not,bro,” Mikey spoke up, “It was the Shredders for being a villian. And all you’re doing is punishing yourself and her by thinking it’s yours. By doing that you’re just letting the Shredder win.” Raph couldn’t help but stare at his youngest brother. How was he so smart? And how was it that his words actually make sense?

“But how do I tell her that?” He asked, “She was hurt and scared because I couldn’t protect her. Her face is scarred because I messed up.”

“You kept her hidden from us.” Leo argued. “We didn’t even know she existed you hid your relationship with her so well. You didn’t fail, the Shredder was just lucky.”

“And the best way to tell her that is to apologize.” Donnie chimed in. “Just go see her and apologize. If she’s the right one for you, she’ll forgive you.”

Since when did his brothers give such great relationship advice?

***

Raph’s heart stopped when he found her window shut and locked. Was he too late? Had he not waited another week to gather his courage would the window be open? He peered through the glass, hoping to see Y/N, but only saw emptiness. She probably was somewhere else in the apartment with her family, or just wasn’t home. He...he could wait.

Sighing, he laid the rose he had brought down on the windowsill, right where she would see it. Hopefully, she would get his subtle message and open the window. Until then, he would wait on the rooftop across the alley.

The minutes ticked by, dissolving into the hours before he saw a light flick on in her room. He tensed, waiting and watching as Y/N appeared. His breath caught in his throat. She was gorgeous as ever. Her hair was done nicely, a dress as white as the purity he did not possess, caressing her curves. Where had she been to dress so beautifully? To look like the queen she was? Like the angel she was? He watched as she turned and glanced out the window. She went still before crossing her room, and sliding the glass upwards. The light poured out around her and she picked up the rose. She paused there for a moment, his heart counting the seconds until she looked up, her gaze searching for him, and the light catching on the scars that arched down her face. A shiver passed over him. He’d been right that she was scarred. But somehow, it only made her all the more beautiful.

She climbed through her window, careful of the silky fabric of her dress, and began to climb the fire escape those last few stories before the rooftop. He cleared the distance before she reached the top, his reflexes silencing the landing.

“Raphael…” Her voice washed over him, filling his lungs like a breath of fresh air. She looked up at him, rose in her hand, curly strands falling around her face, and the wind making the dress dance.

“What did I do wrong?” She whispered before he could find the words.

He broke all over again.

“Y/N, doll, ya didn’t do anything wrong-” Raph began but she cut him off with a tremble in her voice and tear rolling down her cheek.

“Then why did you leave?”

“Because I was scared.” He stepped toward her, itching to reach out and wipe away that tear, to pull her close and tell her it would all be okay. “I was scared that I was putting ya in more danger, in danger of the people I’ve pissed off and from me.”

“Do you think I never once thought of that?” She claimed, another tear joining the first. “I’m not an idiot, I’ve known that from the very beginning…” Not once had he thought her to be an idiot. If anything he was the idiot for not considering that she knew. But now he had a question.

“But...ya didn’t push me away?” He tried not to stutter through it.

“Because I trust you!” She snapped, a fire flashing through the hurt in her eyes. She was angry and he deserved it. “I decided to give you a chance Raph because I know what’s like to need a friend! I…” Her voice and gaze dropped. “I just never thought that trust would lead to this...to me loving you, as painful as it is.” He couldn’t move even as his mind reeled. She...she loved him? How? Why?

She loved him and he had left.

He found his voice as he closed the space between them, taking her hand in his. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I let ya down.” That was putting it lightly. “In way too many ways, and you paid the price.” He couldn’t stop his fingers from brushing against her scars as he tilted her face up. “Can...can ya forgive me, doll? I can do better, I can try to be enough…”

“You always have been enough, Raph.” Her gaze lifted, meeting his. It was warm with the love that washed away the hurt and the anger. “Of course I forgive you…”

He brushed a light kiss against her lips, tasting coconut, tears, and forgiveness.

“I love ya.” He muttered against her lips. “I love ya so much.”

“I love you too.” She whispered, and with that kiss, he was good enough.

***Additionally***

“What are ya dressed so nice for?”

“My cousin’s wedding. She has me as a bridesmaid.”

“Who’s the groomsman?”

“My ex.”

“...what?!”

#tmnt x reader #tmnt 2016 #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 2k16

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homesweetsewer · 5 years

Text

Consolation Prize (Donatello x Fem Reader)

This one sort of follows Harmless and Radiant. I don’t think you need to read them to understand what’s going on here but I’ll link them for convenience sake for those who are interested.

Harmless: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Radiant: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

“But, Donnie,” you pouted. “Its movie night! You’ve skipped out on the last three!”

“I know, love.” The purple masked turtle reached for your hands. He held them tenderly in his much larger ones, caressing the backs of them softly with his thumbs. “I’m sorry. Its just,” Donatello looked apologetic, “we’re so close to getting this formula right. Just give me another hour and then I’m all yours.”

“An hour?” You looked unconvinced. You knew how caught up he got in his work and how easily time got away from him.

Don nodded and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead. “An hour,” he assured. “I promise. Go ahead and get started without me. I’ll finish tweaking the base mixture and be there before you know it.”

You sighed and shook your head, looking across to the other side of the lab where April O’Neil sat perched upon a stool, pretending not to pay any attention to the conversation you were having with the tall, slender terrapin. Absently, you noted the beakers and test tubes that littered the work bench in front of her, filled with chemicals and compounds of varying colors and viscosity. Donnie hadn’t filled you in on exactly what they were working on together other than to tell you it was safer for you if you didn’t know. Really, who were you to argue? You knew the kind of life the turtles lived and you weren’t the one putting your life on the line to protect the city. You knew Donatello worried for your safety given your association with him and his brothers and so you hadn’t pushed the subject too much.

April must have felt the weight of your gaze. She lifted her head and turned in your direction, shooting you a tight smile that seemed to be part guilt and part annoyance wrapped into one. It was a “sorry I’m hogging all your boyfriend’s time but we’re really busy so if you could just go away so we can get back to it” look. It set your teeth on edge and your frown deepened.

“Fine,” you relented, but not happily. “An hour.”

“Thank you,” a small smile quirked the corners of the turtle’s mouth. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah...” you waved off his apology. Instead, you went up on your tiptoes and pecked him on the lips, delighting momentarily in the soft churring sound you were able to pull from his throat. “Just...get back to work, genius. The clock is ticking.”

Without another word, you turned on your heel and headed for the lab door. You paused only for a moment, your hand on the door knob, to look back over your shoulder. You watched as Donatello made his way back over to April. Your brow furrowed.

“Sorry about that, April,” he quietly apologized to the woman. “Where were we?”

You sighed, a mixture of disappointment and discontent, as you slipped from the lab and closed the door softly behind you. Any hopes you’d had of spending the evening with the man/turtle you loved were thoroughly dashed...as they had been every night for the last month since he been working on his mysterious project with April. Cancelled plans, forgotten dates, and apologetic texts had become the status quo. You weren’t angry...not really. You knew how important his work was, not only to his family but for everyone who called NYC home--they just didn’t know it. You did, however, feel a bit disregarded, as if you’d been set aside on the back burner in favor of April.

After all, you reminded yourself, it hadn’t been all that long ago that the genius turtle had been seemingly head over shell in love with the woman. It had killed you inside but you’d supported his interest in her for no other reason than to see him happy even if it was at the expense of your own. Even less time had passed since April had broken his heart by informing him that she was involved romantically with Casey Jones and only cared for him as a friend. You’d supported him then, too, giving him a shoulder to cry on and comforting and encouraging him when he needed it until he’d been able to pull himself back together. The two of you had grown closer as a result.

Though you’d resigned yourself to the notion that the ninja would never feel for you what you felt for him, you’d taken solace in knowing that he remained your dearest friend...and then, three short months ago, you’d kissed him on impulse. It was just a quick press of lips to his cheek but it had set into motion a chain of events that made even your wildest dreams seem pale in comparison.

You’d found him waiting for you, sitting nervously on the end of your bed later that evening. He’d apologized profusely for not noticing your feelings sooner before stuttering out that he, too, felt the same. You’d felt as though you were living out a scene in one of those cheesy romance novels when he’d asked if he could kiss you. It was almost magical, pent up emotions rushing to the surface in a tangle of lips and tongues, leaving you both breathless and trembling. You’d become a couple that night and since then he’d given you absolutely no reason to doubt his feelings or his sincerity.

Donatello was still your best friend, as promised, but he was also the sweetest and most loving boyfriend you could have asked for. Who could have known the bespectacled ninja was such a romantic? You considered yourself to be a very lucky girl. He never failed to make you feel special or tell you just how much you meant to him, always going above and beyond. He called it “making up for lost time”. It felt like a dream, really, and your biggest fear was that you’d wake up to discover it had all been some sort of elaborate hallucination.

It wasn’t that you doubted Donnie. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him--you did. It was just that, lately, your mind had decided to conjure up a slew of ‘what if’ scenarios that made your head hurt and your heart ache. It had less to do with Don, you knew, and more to do with your own insecurities and all the time he’d been spending with April lately. Still, you couldn’t stop that evil, little voice in the back of your brain from constantly reminding you that you hadn’t been his first choice. Even worse, you were starting to listen to it.

“Do you think if April had expressed the slightest bit of interest in Donatello that he would have ever looked your way? Not in a million years,” the voice insisted. “You were the runner up, the understudy, the second chair. You are the consolation prize he received instead of what he really wanted...and what was it that he really wanted,” the voice asked.

“April,” you muttered dejectedly as you made your way back toward the living room where the rest of the turtles were waiting to start their Friday Night Movie Extravaganza. “He wanted April...always April.”

Leo looked at you in concern as you plopped down on the couch between him and Mikey. “Everything alright?”

“Yep.” The forced smile you shot the blue masked leader looked more like a grimace. “Just peachy.”

Leonardo frowned. “I’m guessing they’re not joining us?”

“Nope.” You shook your head. “They’re on the verge of a scientific breakthrough, apparently. Don said he needed another hour but we both know he’s not coming out of there for the rest of the night. Just like last week and the week before...” you trailed off.

Leo gave you a sympathetic look and a comforting pat on the knee. “I’m sorry...”

“No...” you quickly cut him off, not interested in hearing him apologize for his brother. “Its not your fault. Its fine.” You shrugged, trying to play it off as though it weren’t a big deal, but you were sure that the eldest brother could see right through you. Thankfully, he didn’t call you out on it.

“Aww...” Michelangelo slung an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, baby cakes. We can still have plenty of fun without him.”

The last thing you wanted to do was ruin everyone else’s night with your internal drama. “Yeah,” you agreed as you tried to regain your enthusiasm and banish your negative thoughts. “You’re right.”

You snuggled comfortably into the youngest turtle’s side and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl balanced on his lap. You shoved the buttery snack into your mouth and chewed slowly before addressing the resident hot head. “What are we watching, anyway, Raph?”

The enormous, musclebound turtle grinned at you, “Pitch Black and The Last Witch Hunter.”

“Vin Diesel,” you nodded in approval of his choice. “Perfect.”

As the night wore on, you tried to focus on the movies but your eyes would inevitably stray toward the door to Donnie’s lab. Over the sounds of onscreen explosions and gunfire, you could still hear the occasional sounds of muffled laughter from inside. Your thoughts again wandered off down a dark path as one hour became two and then three. You couldn’t help wondering if he was happier in there with her than he would be cuddling on the couch next to you. Did he still harbor romantic feelings for her? When the two of you were together, did he ever look at you and wish he could be with her instead? If, by chance, April were to change her mind and decide she did see Donatello in a romantic light, would he abandon you and go running into her arms?

The voice in your head scoffed, “Do you really want to know the answer to that?”

“No,” you muttered under your breath, tears prickling at your eyes. “No, I don’t.”

Leo shot you a concerned look, “you okay?”

“Fine,” you assured him with a nod, refusing to look at him lest he see the hurt on your face. “Everything’s fine. Never better.”

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction #tmnt fanfiction #donnie x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raphael #tmnt raph #tmnt april #tmnt april o'neil #tmnt casey jones #fanfic #fanfiction

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2k18leo · 5 years

Text

((This may get lost in all the finale talk but I wanted it finished in time for Leo Day, so without further ado, here is Rogue’s personality sheet))

Name: Rogue

Age: 16 (November 5th)

- Leo 16, Donnie 16, Mikey 15, Raph 17, April 17

Gender: Female

Species: Australian Water Dragon

List the most important things about your character.

- Was an actual lizard before her mutation

- Was shipped from Australia to be a pet of a gothic teenage girl

- Did not retain an Australian accent because she was too young to learn one when she was shipped from Australia

- Gets called multiple creative nicknames from Leo, including but not limited to:

-- Ro

-- Rogue-y babey

-- (to the tune of Row Row Your Boat) Ro-Ro-Rogue-y baby

-- Stripes (they both call each other this)

-- Tails

-- Hot Fry ( ??? don’t know where he thought of this)

-- Spade (because of the shape of the mark on her back, which resembles a spade)

-- Reggae ( ?? )

-- Babey Spade

-- Moulin Rogue (to which she always laughs and responds, “it’s Rouge, dumbass!”)

- She loves to paint and be artsy with Mikey

- Will patiently listen while Donnie explains the technicalities of his latest inventions, and is also eager to be a test subject for some of his newer creations

- Absolutely loves to pull pranks with Leo and will sometimes sneak out with him on the shellhogs to race around the city

- Lives with April because “living with all guys is just a little too much sometimes” (but will crash with Leo if she is over there too late) and helps take care of Mayhem when April is at school/work

- She will sometimes instigate the Disaster Twins and their tomfoolery because she finds it so amusing

- She is actually not much of a fighter (but is well aware how to weaponize her tail and claws) but Raph has offered to help train her in their downtime

Physical Details

- Slim waist

- Thick thighs

- Short torso with long legs

Height: 5’6” (with Leo 5’11”, Donnie 5’11”, Mikey 5’6”, Raph 6’4”, April 5’5”)

Weight: ~ 130lbs

Skin: All scales

- Creamy pale green in color over the majority of her body

- Has “glove” markings on forearms and shins

Hair: None

Eyes: Blue eyes, long eyelashes

Other defining features/extra anatomy:

- Long tail with 17 stripes

- Has horizontal stripes from her eyes to the back of her head

- Three fingers/toes on limbs

- Has a heart-shaped marking in middle of torso on ventral side

- Has a spade-shaped marking in middle of torso on dorsal side

Habits:

- Constantly laughing with Leo

- Picking at her scales

- Will tap her claws or tail if she is jittery

- Will subconsciously quote movies if it seems appropriate for the situation even if no one around her knows where the quote comes from

- Will flick her tail if irritated

- When she gets nervous, her tail will suddenly curl around an object close to her for support (more often than not this object is Leo and he thinks it’s precious)

- When she’s being flirty, the tip of her tail will caress under his chin *enter heart-eyes Leo*

- Her tail moves in the night, accidentally knocking stuff over while she sleeps

- Often has sarcastic quips escape her mouth

Gestures/Mannerisms: She likes to sweep her tail around to help her hips sway back and forth

Voice: I am still figuring out a voice actor that I feel would fit her well. I’ve thought about Elizabeth Gillies, Liana Liberato, Sabrina Carpenter, Peyton List, etc. If you have any suggestions, I’m always open to options ! :)

Style: Athletic but casual (a cropped sleeveless hoodie with a choker, and a bandana wrapped around her arm)

-Personality-

Loves/Favorites:

- Food (will eat anything as she is omnivorous)

- Sunny days (loves to bask in the sun)

- Keeping her nails long and sharp

- Music (almost any kind. She can dance to pop, rap along to hip-hop, belt out to the Hamilton soundtrack (where Donnie will join in sometimes), dance to country music while breaking out in a southern accent, and sway lovingly to some nice jazz)

- Spooky stuff (Horror movies, Halloween, ghost stories, etc.)

- Movies! (Disney, Action, Horror, Sci-Fi, Adventure, Mystery)

- Watching/playing basketball (has somehow managed the ability to dribble with her tail)

- Playing Baseball (is not a bad short-stop)

- Swimming (she’s pretty fast underwater with the help of her long strong tail)

- Playing games (be it video games, card games, board games, etc.)

- Creating art (she loves to draw and paint, and also has a subtle love for photography)

- She has a huge ole’ crush on Leo <3

Hates:

- Cold weather (unless it’s snowing)

- Cloudy days (she loves the sun, duh)

- Rom-coms (too cheesy for her taste)

- Bad grammar (her previous owner (while Rogue was not fond of her) went to a college-prep school and she often overheard her speak with proper grammar)

- Burnt popcorn (a trAGEDY)

- A bad sense of humor (she’s thankful that pretty much all the turtles are able to laugh and not take anything super seriously because she often has some sarcastic quips that escape her mouth)

Hobbies: She draws, watches movies, will pick up a book occasionally

Talents/Skills:

- Dribbling a basketball with her tail

- Drawing/painting

- Memorizing movie quotes

Fears/Nightmares: Waking up one day back as a regular lizard

Best Quality: Sense of humor

Greatest Flaw:

- Not great at communication (gets cranky when she doesn’t have her alone time but is not good at expressing that)

- Sometimes gets jealous that she’s the “odd man out” and it wouldn’t matter if she wasn’t there because the boys already have April, but loves April all the same

- Perfectionist (likes things done a certain way) but only sometimes

Character Strengths:

- Playful

- Patient

- Good-natured

- A good sense of humor

- Laid back for most things

- A rationalist (very practical)

And the coinciding weaknesses: She’s not the best at opening up to anyone

What she wants and doesn’t want

- She wants to move towards having an actual family. Perhaps getting some training under her belt to know how to fight.

- She wants to stay away from her previous owner (and the snake that Evie always picked on her with, Calamity)

How does the character picture herself? Rogue: Oh gosh, what did everyone else say? This is kinda weird. Erm, I guess I’m a great swimmer. I like to laugh a lot so the boys never fail to make me. I’m not a neat freak, but not a crazy slob either? I like to think I’m fun to be around.

How do others see her?

- Leo: She’s beautiful, funny, short, has a great laugh, is always down to part-aaay. She laughs at my jokes! My jokes! You know that’s a quality girl!

- Donnie: Yeah, she’s… perfect for Leo, I guess. The two of them can get a bit riled up at times but she has a good heart. Plus, it keeps him busy and not a distraction for me when I’m trying to get work done.

- Mikey: Omigosh, I love her! She’s an awesome artist! She painted this piece on my shell right here, can you see it? Right here. Yeah, she’s great. Not a perfect chef, but I introduced Kondescending Kitchen to her and I think I’ve got her hooked.

- Raph: Shorty? She’s the best! She knows just when to bring Leo back down to Earth. Is always down for any athletic event. *whispers* she throws a mean spiral on Lace Face. I’ve been training with her a few nights a week, y’know to get her strength up. But it’ll be awhile before we take her on any type of mission.

- April: Oh, that’s my girl! Rogue is hilarious, and definitely great with Mayhem. She lives with me at my place, which isn’t bad. She isn’t a slob, so that’s great.

- Splinter: Is that the one with the tail?

Five adjectives that she would use to describe herself. Rogue: Oh, I guess… hmm… funny? Reasonable, happy, laid back, aaaand… artsy?

Five adjectives others would use to describe her.

- Leo: I’ll say it again. Beautiful, cute, funny, short, hilarious, pretty, smart, smokin’, (no, no, Leo, you’re only supposed to do 5. You’re good) … but I can keep going. (nah, I think we got it, thanks!)

- Donnie: Let’s see… Intelligent, humorous, independent yet social, and likeable

- Mikey: She’s tons of fun! Super friendly, a crazy good artist, awesome gamer, and very responsible when need be.

- Raph: The girl’s tough, athletic, smart, a jokester, and pretty trustworthy.

- April: She’s so funny, we laugh all the time. And we have inside jokes and secrets that I trust her with. Super sweet, but she also has a daring side that hypes me up. Aaand, she’s considerate. A good roommate and friend.

- Splinter: When did Blue get a girlfriend?

Most valued possession: Rogue: Oh, uh… probably the bandana that I have wrapped around my arm here. The boys gave it to me as sort of a family token. I didn’t like the look of it on my face since it hid my stripes but I always like to know where it is even if it’s not on me.

Darkest secret and/or treasured memory: Rogue: Wow, you guys ask a lot of questions. Ummm, I guess I shoplifted this hoodie. That’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m not sure. Not many people know but I don’t think it’s a huge deal. A treasured memory I guess is when I met the boys for the first time. Also the day I escaped Evie.

Most proud accomplishment and or greatest failure: Rogue: I mean, I’m pretty proud of all the art I make. I guess the best thing I ever accomplished was escaping Evie, my previous owner. Everything kinda went uphill from there.

Current motivation: Rogue: Motivation for what exactly? To keep living? I guess my family. The turtles and April have really opened my eyes to what a happy life could actually be. It’s great. Everyday is an adventure with them and they make me feel so loved.

How does she view the future and/or the past? Rogue: I guess I regret not escaping Evie’s place sooner. That was just not a great time for me. But, hey, it’s all better now. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

What is her philosophy on life and death? Rogue: Well, back before the mutation, when I was still at Evie’s place, I was just a lizard that didn’t really care one way or the other. Evie would constantly shove her other pet, a snake she named Calamity, super close to my cage. Us Aussie Water Dragons are common prey for snakes so it scared the shit out of me. It happened so much that it got to the point where I would just think ‘whatever. If the snake is going to eat me, go ahead. This isn’t a life to live anyway, being in this cage.’ It sucked and the best day of my life was when I escaped. Now I spend everyday with a smile on my face. I want to live life to the fullest! And the turtles really make that feeling come true.

What kind of energy level do they usually have? Rogue: I’m normally pretty calm and chill but I have been known to get riled up with Leo. Mikey and his bubbly side also hype me up sometimes.

How does she show and/or handle: love, affection, grief, pain, anger, sadness, conflict, change, loss? Rogue: I was conflicted with how to feel when the turtles first invited me to their home. Up until then all I had known were dead crickets and a glass box on all sides of me. So, it was definitely weird for me. I mean, Calamity didn’t like me so all I got were stupid threats from her. But loving the turtles came so easy to me. And ever since I met them I had felt a different feeling towards Leo, but the sensation was so foreign to me that I didn’t really understand. I liked him, all of them, but it was just a feeling of wanting to be around him more.

Does she have a temper? Rogue: I think I’m self-aware enough to admit that I have a small temper and I handle it with major passive aggression. I’m not great at confrontation and I’m used to letting things that really get to me sit inside. It’s not the healthiest practice, but…

How does she respond to the surrounding world, the ‘unfamiliar,’ and other people in general? Rogue: You mean everything outside my cage? It’s fantastic! I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to taste the fresh air when I first escaped. The only type of “friendship” I had was with a tarantula in Evie’s room. He and I weren’t close but I preferred him to Calamity anyday. So coming out into the world and seeing the turtles, I was super nervous. Everything was unfamiliar to me.

Polite or rude? Rogue: I like to think I’m polite? I mean, I was never really taught any manners from Evie.

Stingy or generous? Rogue: Umm… both? Neither? I don’t have much to share or hoard.

What kind of ‘public’ face does she display? Rogue: The turtles know I’m not crazy about Evie, so they accept that I don’t always want to talk about her. I’m pretty much an open book, though.

Leader or a follower? Rogue: Both? Neither? I have the reasoning to be a leader in some cases, but I will always do what Raph says if he’s giving orders… even though I don’t go on missions with them. He and April are the oldest and definitely know more about the world than I do. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the leader and I respect him too much to argue about that.

More happy by themselves or in a group? Rogue: I spent years alone in a cage. I love being around people. We don’t even have to be doing anything, but their presence makes me feel a bit safer.

Does he/she have any addictions/dependencies/fixations/fetishes/ or other strange behavior? Rogue: Is popcorn an addiction?

What is her sexual preference/experience/values? Rogue: I like Leo.

-History/Background- Rogue: I feel like I’ve talked enough for one day. I’ll let Taylor finish this off.

Setting: Present day in Rise universe

Occupation: Nah, she’s a mutant lizard, although she sometimes wishes she could help pay rent for April’s apartment because she spends so much time there. April doesn’t mind it since she’s already used to the boys raiding her fridge, but a job under Señor Hueso was mentioned at one point (and might possibly play a role in the future)

Educational background/other learning experiences: Her previous owner has good grammar, but she did not develop the ability to speak until after mutation

Intelligence Level: As smart as a pet of a prep-school kid can be. She also has learned plenty from the turtles and April.

Short Term Goals: Probably finishing a book or a video game.

Long Term Goals:

- Finding the perfect weapon for herself.

- Keeping the family she was so lucky to find

Family:

- Has no idea about her biological parents since she was shipped out so early in life. Doesn’t really bother her that much, though.

- Previous owner: Name is Evangelique (Evie) Flint, who named Rogue and took care of her fine, meaning she was fed adequately. However, Evie favored the other pets that she owned (her snakes and scorpions) and would sometimes get the snakes close to Rogue in order to freak her out (Australian Water Dragons are often prey for snakes). When Evie was moving houses with her family, Rogue was able to escape. She never looks back.

Friends:

- Leo: She and Leo are super close and became fast friends. He flirted with her for months before she actually caught on. Rogue always thought he was cute but was pretty clueless when it came to romance. April filled her in and helped them get together (the best wingman). He is always able to make her laugh and it’s not difficult for her to reciprocate. He enjoys playing with her tail. They’re young and in love but still best friends. The others refer to them together as “The Stripes.” He doesn’t really get seriously jealous because he trusts her with his brothers. He adores her laugh and the heart-shaped mark on her chest.

- Donnie: They’re cool friends. She looks up to him as if he is older than her because of how smart he is. He’s more calm with her than he is with the boys because he’s seen her rational side. She’ll stay out of his way when he’s busy, but won’t decline being a helpful assistant or test subject for an experiment.

- Mikey: She thought he was super funny, like Leo. He was fascinated by her splotches and patterns, and was overjoyed that she liked art as well. One of their first times bonding together was over video games.

- Raph: He approached her first when they first encountered her, mainly as a way to shield his brothers if she was a threat. She likes to play some type of sporty game with him even though she is not nearly as in-shape as the rest of them. It was his idea for her to start sparring. He appreciates how tough and level-headed she is. He thinks she’s a good fit for Leo.

- April: Rogue was fairly relieved to make friends with a girl. April loved her look and thought the choker and hoodie was awesome. She lets Rogue sleep on her couch whenever she pleases, and she thinks it’s great that Mayhem likes her.

- Splinter: They’re not close. She’s met him a couple times and only because she felt it weird that the rat had yet to introduce himself. It’s sort of a mutual respect that they have.

Backstory:

- Born in Australia and shipped to Poughkeepsie, where Evie lived. She was lonely and constantly tormented by her owner and the snake, Calamity, who lived just a single frame of glass away next to her cage.

- After years of living in Poughkeepsie, Evie’s family decided to move to Detroit because of her mother’s business demands.

- Early on in the move, Rogue was able to escape and out of the vehicle and off the Mid-Hudson Bridge into the Hudson River. The river carried her down to Manhattan where she consumed an Ooze-quito and became mutated.

- I’m still figuring out a story on how she met the turtles and the events leading up to the present because she’s currently been with them for nearly half a year (I’ll probably write some drabbles on it in the near future, so stay tuned)

-Combat-

Physical Strength:

- Her tail is the strongest part of her body

- She has enough strength to workout with the boys, but cannot do any of the heavy weights that they can.

Coordination/Reflexes: Not bad reflexes. She’s not clumsy, but her tail has been known to knock things over in an environment she is unfamiliar with.

Fighting Style: Is typically prone to striking with her claws and/or tail

Unusual Abilities/Powers: Nothing mystical about her besides the mutation

Weapons/Other Gear: Has yet to find a weapon that works for her

((couple things, Tumblr completely messed with the format of this but oh well, yes I referenced Leo’s pose from the episode Newsworthy, but I just adore his pose so much that I was super excited to draw it, they may or may not be holding hands, that’s up to your interpretation :D, but yeah. this personality ref sheet was super long but I really wanted to milk this character because I hope she sticks with me for a long time. If you read the whole thing, thank you so much, I appreciate you more than you realize :) ))

#tmnt #tmnt leo #happy Leo day #Leo day #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt rogue #tmnt rogue #my oc #my character #rogue #rogue x leo #tmnt leonardo

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sageclover61 · 5 years

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Cas raised Sam right and took him with him to confront Raphael. Raphael recognized Sam for what he is instead of what he's meant to be but isn't, they fell in love. Amara still got freed, as did Lucifer. Raphael died in the fight against Amara. When Jack starts dying because of the loss of his Grace, Sam prays to his beloved archangel to return from the Empty to heal him the way only Heaven's Healer could.

Does this fic have a title? It does not, (yet). Also, I wrote this with the intention of both Sam and Raphael as being asexual.

Word count: 3074

Rating: TPairings: SaRaph + Destiel

Sam was torn, as he stood before the small cairn of stone in the backyard of the bunker. There was a much fresher memorial beside it, but he paid that one no mind.

He probably should have been inside, offering what little comfort he could to the bedridden and dying nephilim inside. But Jack was sleeping. And as he looked down as the paper in his hand, he knew he had to try. Jack was the closest thing to a son he'd had ever thought he could have, and he had to try this one last desperate measure. Especially if it meant sharing the child he considered to be his adopted son with the love of his life.

This was not the first time he had done this, read a letter to Raphael at the spot he has built the memorial to them. It wasn't a grave, not with Amara having imploded Raphael and leaving nothing behind to burn or bury. Knowing what he did now, Sam half hoped Raphael had been able to hear them, but also felt divided on whether or not he wanted to succeed at this. Did Raphael not deserve the peace they all craved? But he also knew that if he did manage to wake Raphael, the Healer would fix this, if they were able to. And maybe this could be the very last time they all tried to save the world. It was time to retire and raise the new generation of hunters and let them take over.

Sam didn’t need the white picket fence and the apple pie life, but he wanted his mate. The one who understood him better than anyone else ever had.

Amara had given Dean a “gift”, but no one had ever asked him if there was anything he wanted or needed.

“Dean Raphael,” Sam said, hoping, praying. He had poured every ounce of his lover and hope into this letter. This prayer. “If we had known Gabriel was alive all those years ago, I know you would have led the battle against the Prince of Hell and his legions of demons, I would have been there right by your side. I wish you had been here to dissuade him from yet more self sacrifice. You were the same way, I recall, and I’ve always been that way too, but we were good for each other. I also just wish I could have gotten to know the side of him you always talked about when you talked about your little brother, and I wish you could have seen him again. But I talked about Gabriel in my last letter and I have something a little more pressing to tell you now.

“I’ve told you about your nephew, Jack Kline. He saved us from the apocalypse ‘verse Michael and helped us get out of apocalypse World. But there’s something wrong with him and he’s dying. I wish you were here to heal him, and I wish you could have met him. He’s a sweet little kid for all that he looks like a young adult, and because we’ve been raising him, I suppose I can’t help but think of his as kind of like my own son, and I do really wish I could share this with you. I know we never really talked about having our own kids, biological or otherwise, especially what with us still being firmly rooted in the hunter lifestyle. But I’m definitely ready to give that all up if I can just share this with you. Please.

"But you deserve your peace, too, and I hope that at the very least you are at peace. I just want you to know that only you will ever hold the keys to my heart, and I miss you so much.

"Please come back to me.”

Sam took the matchbook from his pocket, and used it to set the letter on fire over the cairn, just as he had with all the other letters. He knew it probably affected nothing, meant nothing, but it mattered to him.

“Please come back to me,” he repeated, whispered, as his eyes watered. He didn’t want to lose any more of the people that he cared about. Not both the love of his life and the kid he would never stop wishing he could have raised with his mate.

Amara had obliterated Raphael near the beginning of that whole thing. She’d gone straight for Heaven, intent on killing the first of Chuck’s creations that she had so despised.

Neither she nor Chuck had offered any condolences for that. They’d never said anything at all, with the possible exception of calling it “a most unfortunate tragedy” but he couldn’t really remember that conversation, as he had been too filled with anger and grief to really register it. They had just… left. Like nothing else mattered at all, and Dean hadn’t understood his grief either. No one had.

But you don’t share life altering love with another being for five years and then just let it go when they disappear from your life entirely.

“Look what I found!”

The shout from a voice he wasn’t expecting to ever hear again in either life nor death had Sam turning around as he blinked past the tears falling down his face. Cocky Gabriel was standing there, cocky grin on his face, but as soon as Sam saw who he had brought with him, he had eyes for nothing else. The vessel was new, taller than he was, and more obviously androgynous, but besides that it seemed to be an almost perfect mix of their two last vessels. Sam hoped that meant Raphael was would be more comfortable in it than in their previous vessels, but Sam cared nothing about their physical appearance.

“Raph!” he shouted running forward and wrapping around his mate. “You’re here!”

“I love you,” Raphael whispered in Sam’s ear, as they returned Sam’s hug in the way best done by the taller person. There were reasons they had waited so long for Gabriel to help finish making them this perfect vessel. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Hey! What am I, chopped liver?”

Sam glance over at Gabriel, but the younger archangel did not appear to actually be offended, as he was grinning happily at them.

“Gabriel," Raphael scolded without looking at their brother. "I have not seen my mate in four years, let us have this moment.”

“Okay, okay. But I’m pretty sure Sam mentioned a matter of timely importance.”

“I would like to meet this child you want to be ours,” Raphael agreed, but allowed Sam to pull away from the hug first. They didn’t not remain separated for long, as Sam took one of their hands a second later.

Sam studied the way Raphael’s hand fit snugly into his larger hand. He had missed this so much it still ached like a fresh wound. But Raphael was here before him and he almost couldn’t believe it.

“Jack’s inside,” he said finally, and then led the way. Dean was nowhere to be seen when Sam led the two archangels into Jack’s room. Castiel alone sat in the chair by the head of the bed.

Castiel looked up as they entered the room. “Gabriel, Raphael. I am glad to see you both alive and well.”

“Where is Dean?” Sam asked. He knew he had to reveal this to Dean sooner over later, but he was glad Dean was not in the room because he didn’t want any screaming matches to occur in Jack’s bedroom.

“I sent him to the store,” Castiel said, “to buy some random objects. It should keep him busy for the next two hours. I didn’t want him to cause a scene when there are more important things at stake.”

Raphael nodded. “Thank you. I would like to heal the child, if I might have a closer look? Can you tell me what you know about what happened?”

“He’s dying from low grace levels,” Castiel explained, standing so Raphael could take the seat he had been occupying. “His organs are failing.”

“Low grace levels isn’t usually fatal...Nephilim do have a higher chance of death from that, but only when… What did you do?”

“We tried to give him the remaining vial of Gabriel’s grace we tracked down from a shaman. But Jack had a bad reaction to it,” Sam explained. “The low grace levels are from destroying the Michael in the alternate universe, and whatever he’s been up lately.”

“Of course he had a bad reaction to my grace!” Gabriel shouted. He sighed, taking a moment to compose himself. “I ran with the pagans for a really long time. Long enough it made permanent alterations to the makeup of my grace. Think STDs, except for Grace. But it also means that it isn’t compatible with anyone else’s anymore, even those with whom it would have been compatible in the beginning.”

“Grace has compatibilities?” Sam asked.

Raphael put a hand on Jack’s forehead. “It’s a little bit like how human blood has rules for whose is compatible with who, with a few things such as Gabriel’s experiences with the Pagan or Lucifer’s causes it to shift, but it also has natural rules it follows as well. In the beginning, each archangel had a different type, and all the ranks of angels that followed had one of those four. My grace is a bit like the universal donor, probably for cases like this. There’s probably instances where it could be rejected, same for the incredibly rare human blood types such as hh, but I’ve never seen it happen.”

“Even Lucifer’s?” Castiel asked.

“Jacks’ grace is not identical to what Lucifer’s grace looked like in recent times. There’s a small genetic component sure, possibly similar to Lucifer’s original grace type, which was not the universal recipient, but his own choices and actions are also apart of the equation. I would be shocked if my grace was rejected by the good kid Sam described to me the last two years.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “You heard my prayers?”

“I heard all of your prayers addressed to me,” Rapahel answered. “I was just unable to return before now, and I apologize for that.”

Rapahel’s eyes glowed the soft blue of grace being used and Jack’s flew open, unseeing but filled with the same effect.

“Do you want a snack, Sam?” Cas asked.

Sam didn’t register that Castiel was talking to him, too busy entranced by Raphael’s ethereal presence.

All too soon, the light faded and Jack’s eyes closed. Raphael took an unsteady step backwards, but Sam was right there to support them. “Are you okay?” Sam asked, and Castiel asked if Jack would be alright.

“I’m fine, Sam. It’s just been awhile since I’ve done something like this. But I wouldn’t be opposed to retiring for the evening. Jack is also recovering. I imagine he will sleep until sometime this evening or tomorrow morning. Would you like to join me, Sam?”

Sam nodded, and they walked hand in hand back to their shared room. The room looked untouched to Rapahel, as though no one had stepped into it since Amara had exploded him almost four years previously. There was also not a single spec of dust, thought it almost felt as if that had been a recent change, as there was a very faint feeling of lingering grace having performed the single act of freshening the space. But it was clear to him that Sam had not been sleeping in here. Not once.

“Do you want to change into something more comfortable?” Sam asked. “We might need to go shopping, but I think this will fit?”

Raphael agreed about about getting some new clothing, their new vessel was taller and shaped differently than their previous ones. Gabriel had helped them finish it, but it had been an idea they’d contemplated even before Amara had imploded them.

Sam was holding a long silky sleep shirt that they had given to him, though he’d only worn it a few times.

They had worn it more, back then. It wasn’t really Sam’s aesthetic, but there was just something pleasant about stealing clothing from Sam’s wardrobe.

This form was built more petite than Sam, still, just taller. They had mainly wanted something androgynous, so they could really feel like themself in this skin, but they’d kept Sam in mind too.

They smiled at Sam. “I would like that.”

There was a wicker laundry basket under the desk and Sam put his jeans and flannel into it, leaving his t-shirt and underwear on.

Raphael stripped, slowly so that they could show off this vessel to Sam, but not so slowly that it was a tease. Sam hummed appreciatively, but he did not seem interested in anything more than that.

“Gabriel helped me make this vessel for me, do you like it?”

Sam smiled and nodded. “Are you happy and comfortable in it?”

“I like that it allows me the freedom to change what gender is present down there. Are you feeling up for a demonstration?’

“Maybe some other time?” Sam shook his head, but he was still smiling. He passed Raphael the sleep shirt. “Will you just hold me, tonight?”

“Of course.”

Together, they pulled the comforter back from the top of the bed so that they could crawl under the sheets and blankets.

Sam intended to fall asleep last, as he wanted to savor that he was lying next to his mate who he had missed so much, had longed for the return of. But he had not slept well in so long that it was impossible to say awake.

Raphael took longer to fall asleep.They were tired from the grace transfusion, but they did not really need sleep. Just to rest quietly.

The unaltered state of the room concerned them, because it felt like Sam had not moved on at all, had perhaps not had the opportunity to finish grieving.

Sam looked small tucked beside them. Weary, desperate. It did not suit him, and Raphael hoped their return could help ease him. They closed their eyes, letting Sam's presence soothe them in return. They had missed sleeping and waking up with their mate in their arms.

Sam’s cry woke Raphael sometime later. It seemed to have woken Sam as well, though Raphael noticed that Sam did not wake instantly as he used to.

Was that because they were here now and Sam’s subconscious remember he was safe? Had Sam broken the habit of waking instantly himself? Or was this something else entirely?Sam woke slowly in a tight embrace, tears falling down his face. He’d been having a nice dream about Raphael being back and he didn’t want to wake up for fear of it having been nothing more than a dream.

There was a gentle rumble next to him, followed by what had to be an Enochian lullaby and he blinked wearily at the figure holding him. “Raphael,” he croaked hoarsely. “You are here.”

“I’m right here, Beloved,” Raphael swore. “Right where I belong.”

Sam cried harder into Raphael’s shirt, fingers wrapping tightly around the hem of the fabric.

Raphael held Sam tighter and resumed singing the Enochian lullabies they had half forgotten. Sam did not seem settled enough to go back to sleep, but that did not mean that they were not going to soothe and comfort him to the best of their abilities.

Sam could not sleep and did not want to. He layed curled in Raphael's arms and let their voice ground him in the present and reassure him that this was very real and that everything would be okay.

Raphael was sure that Sam was almost ready to fall asleep unintentionally a while later, but that was right when their bedroom door opened quietly.

Gabriel stood in the dark corridor, a platter in his hands. Besides him, Jack was gripping Gabriel's shirt. Raphael was unable to tell whether that was because Jack was unsteady on his feet, or simply terrified.

"I brought some grilled cheeses," Gabriel said. "I thought you lovebirds might like some nourishment."

Sam blushed crimson and tried to hide under Raphael and the blankets. Raphael laughed because it was nice to see Sam embarrassed rather than so afraid of losing them again.

"Uh huh," Raphael said. "Sam? Do you think you can eat some sandwiches?" Even if Sam said no, they intended to see if they could get him to eat a little. Sam looked more gaunt than they remembered him being and they had both missed the reasonable dinner hour by sleeping it away.

Sam shrugged, which Raphael was going to take. "Looks like we could eat those sandwiches."

"I also brought Jack. He got lost looking for you guys so I got him to help me make these."

That got Sam's attention and he sat up. "I'd love a sandwich. Jack, do you want to come lie down up here? There's plenty of room for all of us. You were sleeping, but my mate, Raphael, here, saved your life."

Gabriel handed the tray to Jack and Jack brought it over to Sam. "You did?" he asked, addressing Raphael.

"I did. I've heard a lot about you from Sam, but circumstances prevented me from coming sooner. I'm really glad to meet you now though. Are you feeling better? I don't think you'll be completely well for a few days, but you should be fine with a few days of rest and low energy activities. No smiting anything."

"I'm okay, thank you."

Sam took the tray from Jack as Gabriel shut the door as he left. "Why don't you climb up here between us? It's nice and warm up here."

Jack considered the instruction for a moment, then followed the directions, scrambling over Sam and into the space between them.

"I was just singing some Enochian lullabies for Sam, would you like to hear them too?" Raphael asked as they tucked Jack under the covers.

Jack nodded, so Raphael resumed their singing and Sam held their hand behind Jack's head as he leaned against the headboard eating the sandwiches.

Raphael banished the tray to the kitchen when Sam had eaten his fill, and they smiled as Sam curled up protectively behind Jack and followed the child's lead at returning to sleep.

This was the "Heaven" they had all been waiting for.