#like he was doing it before but in the past 6 months or so ive been actively in various mental health services

[dogbunni]

if I have been a little quiet this past week that is bc life is swinging a giant cartoon mallet at my head and cackling like the joker experiencing the adrenaline rush of batman driving the batmobile towards him at 120mph. thank you

[roots-of-asphodel]

"honestly colouring might just be what you need" sir your son is literally on prozac

[ifimdreaming]

come over?

luke hughes x reader

summary: you and luke have a secret/not so secret relationship

a/n: no warnings really, this is cute i think and very cringey fluff tbh. not proofread.

word count: 1.3k

-

Keeping your relationship with Luke a secret from your friends was a hard enough task as it is, but having to keep it a complete secret from your family was proving to be an even more difficult task. It has been over 6 months of you and Luke being together now and everyday you just want to shout from the rooftops just how much you love him.

Although you knew being in the spotlight was 100% not what you wanted, it was so much harder than you thought to have to sneak around and pretend to be single around some of your very closest friends. And Luke knew how much it meant to the public for you to be known solely as ‘Luke Hughes’ Girlfriend’ so you had both agreed on the whole keeping-things-a-secret thing until further notice.

Because of this, It had been almost 2 weeks since you had last seen your boyfriend. Both you and him being respectively busy, and also having absolutely nowhere to spend time together as your two roommates had not been out of the house for any extended periods of time lately. And in the midst of that, Luke and Jack had a guest staying at their condo since the beginning of the month, making it nearly impossible for you to spend any time there at all.

This had you up late at night thinking about Luke for what felt like the millionth night in a row. wishing he was beside you instead of just your childhood stuffed animals. Wishing he was rubbing your back, soothing you to sleep, kissing your neck gently, tracing shapes on your skin - there were so many little ways he showed you his love and you missed every single one of them. And as much as you hated what was at risk with you sneaking him over - laying in bed dreaming about it caused absolutely no harm at all.

Pulling you out of your daydream, you hear buzzing begin to come from your phone that is left charging on your nightstand as you are trying desperately to fall asleep. You look over to see that it is Luke calling you, at almost 1:00 in the morning. You wonder if he had been up thinking about you too.

You reach over and grab your phone to answer him, “hi baby” you whisper into the phone, not wanting to wake up anyone else in your apartment.

“baby I cant sleep. I miss you so much” he says with a tired rasp in his voice. He lets out a sigh on the other end of the phone and its almost like he is right beside you. You can hear the longing in his voice and can just sense how frustrated he is with the single sigh.

“I miss you too lukey. I literally cant sleep either - ive just been up thinking about you” you say honestly. 

You have always been super honest with him about everything. Weather it be you telling him every single detail about how horrible your period is that week, how you absolutely dread doing the dishes and let them pile up for days before getting to them, how you refuse to go out past 5pm by yourself because you are terrified of being kidnapped, or explaining to him word for word why you love the movie ‘love rosie’ so much and how much it means to you when he agrees to watch it with you. Luke knew you so well and you knew him just the same. Because you always communicated with each other. about everything. No matter what. 

Thats why what he said next came as such a shock to you.

“Ive been thinking too..’’ he trails off, his tone quieter than before

You stay quiet on the other end of the phone, curious about what Luke is about to say and suddenly extremely aware of the fact that it is so late at night and he decided to call you without warning. After your silent thinking, you hum a quiet ‘mhm’ in response, urging him to continue.

“Ive just been thinking.. maybe I regret keeping things, with us, a secret for so long. I know I- We agreed to hold off, especially because of how it would affect your life and everything. And I know thats a really big deal. I dont want you to think im being selfish..” he begins, but waits for you to chime in with your thoughts.

Things have worked well this way for so long, that it surprised you he felt this way. Especially because Luke is a very private person in general, you assumed this is how he wanted things. It broke your heart if you made him feel like this was all your idea in the first place. You just thought it would be best for the both of you.

“Luke I dont know what to say. Honestly i thought we were on the same page so I didnt offer to change anything…” 

“How long have you felt like this?” you add, trying to speak loud enough but still with your voice in a whisper.

“I mean. I dont really know?” he says almost as a question

“Luke…” you urge him, hoping he will answer your question honestly.

“Well I guess - about a month now I guess? I know i shouldve said something sooner but I just didnt want to ruin anything. I know thats kind of..shitty..” He says regretfully

Theres the honest boy you know.

“I..I didnt know” you say. Honestly you ddnt know where to go from here. You wanted to tell everyone everything about your relationship at this very moment, but werent sure if thats where Luke was going with this.

“I- What are you thinking? I understand if you want to keep things the way they are. I wanna be clear that I really dont want to force you into changing anything. I just i couldn t keep it to myself anymore” 

It was so exciting to you knowing how much Luke cared about you. The way he cares for everyone around him has always been something you admire about him. He has the biggest heart in the world and you only hoped to be at least half as caring as him. Clearly this has been on his mind for a while and he cared so mch about your feelings towards it that he didnt want to let his feelings ruin what you have.

“Luke I love you, obviously as long as you know that, thats enough for me. But i do want everyone to know that too.” you say as the lump in your throat grows and tears well in your eyes. 

You honestly didn't know why this was making you emotional. But the combination of missing him, hearing him so delicately approach you with this, and knowing this might be the moment you get to share your love for him with the world, is making it hard to get your words out right now.

“I love you so much. and I want everyone to know I do too” he says matter of factly and your heart melts completely. 

You both sit in comfortable silence over the phone for a moment as your slight sniffles fill the quiet air. 

“I dont know why im crying..” you say through quiet laughter and hear Luke share laughter in response. He was so used to you being emotional over the most random things, this not surprising him one bit.

“What can i do baby?” 

You dont even have to think twice of your next response but pretend to be contemplating anyway,

“hmmmm, come over?” you respond hopefully. It thrilled you to think he might actually say yes. Even at 1:00 in the morning.

“Absolutely,” he says with a laugh and you grin ear to ear with giddy excitement, 

“give me 20 minutes”

-

-

[bloodsadx]

even the years that i retroactively have viewed as the most useless of my life have paid off. ive met and befriended many of my heroes from when i was down bad and doing nothing. however in spite of this any time im down im still like. well. i guess im going to jump into the fargo life size human mulcher and deboner (in order to become less full of blood). anyway every time im in an uber with my buddy anne she says the word transexual minimum like 6 times no matter what the vibe of the driver is and last night the uber driver told us to try the following pick up lines (which he called “jaw droppers”): when a girl asks your favorite food, say that “[you] don’t care about stuff like that, [you] want to get to know the flavor of [her] taste buds.” he insisted she’s never heard some shit like this before, so she’ll either like it and you’ll start making out, or if she’s “a more polite woman” she will be like ok ok, and at that point you say “i’m not trying to nourish your body, i’m trying to enrich your soul.” he said that you say that, this being the “jaw dropper,” and then you “can shove your tongue down her throat.” well me and my buddy anne were losing our minds in this uber. and then she started saying the word transsexual to refer to her previous partners and the guy became strictly quiet. well anyway. the moral of the post is, if you walk around a lot, you notice more stuff. i’ve been walking about 10-15 miles a day for the past few weeks and something i’ve been noticing a lot is one specific sticker around portland which ive seen i think sincerely about 300 different places in the past week. and i’ve been walking some really not well trodden, very annoying routes, and this guy has been putting stickers up in some really strange and not even particularly visible spots. and the thing is, i kind of don’t even like this guy’s sticker, but i do really like seeing it, so i really respect that guy. and last night i made direct eye contact with a guy as he put down a slice of pizza and took out a paint marker to write on a trash can. me personally if i made direct eye contact with someone as i was about to write on a trash can i would probably not do that.

i’ve been making draft posts like this when i get home from a long walk and then not posting them nearly explicitly because i don’t want a bunch of people to read them. sometimes i let one fly and it does get like a hundred notes and i just get pissed off. a few months ago i got so mad about something i kept hitting the ground with sticks as hard as possible and trying to suplex trees and victorian house porch support beams at my friends houses. not to test my strength but rather to feel completely indignantly impotent and to feel myself fail against the weight of the world. i got into a bad car crash and have been disallowed by the weight of the world from driving endlessly and aimlessly through the country and instead have endlessly and aimlessly wandered by foot through a place i have lived in for 3 years but only recently have come to feel like i have any knowledge of. so its hard to say which years are more useless. the years where i was doing stuff people gave a fuck about or the years where i was doing stuff that hurt my legs and feet and i saw more stuff? well at the end of the day i suppose nobody can say for sure…after all, on the internet, nobody knows i’m a seaman.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for giving away my sisters fish?

This is a dumb and very long story (i could probably shorten it somehow but I don't know how) and I know the title makes me look bad.

Ok so, one evening my mom and my little sister(let's call her Jess) brought home a container of four fish that mum said she saw a guy selling on the road for about 2 dollars (I'm not american so I just calculated and it comes out to around 2 dollars)

This was during the end of year break when Jess was home (usually we all go to boarding school) None of us had ever had pet fish before and we didn't know what kind of fish they were, they looked different from each other and their size difference was pretty big too(the largest was about the size of three nail clippers stacked on top of each other and the smallest was about the size of 1/2 of a car key). So we weren't sure of the species of any and bought the most nondescript pack of fish food we could find, they ate it so we thought things were ok.

About 1 month into the break though (the end of year break where I am is 2 months), 1 of the fish died for reasons we still don't know (we changed the water every 3 days) and two weeks later a second one just disappeared, it wasn't in the bowl, and no one knew what happened. So by the time school started there were 2 fish left (Jess was sad but we also have dogs so she wasn't too sad)

All of us go to different boarding schools but ive been going to a day-school this past year because I'm scheduled for a surgery, so when everyone went back it was just me with the fish.

My elder sister (let's call her Kat) came home from university for a while and she thought the fish were cool so she asked my mom if she could tell her where she got them so she could get some for her dorm. My mom told her she just got them from some guy on the road who didn't have a stall and probably wouldn't be there if she drove to the place she found him. So she went back to uni without any fish

Flash forward, 4 weeks into the term, my mom comes to get me from school and she says was passing the area she saw the guy and he was there with another container of fish this time with about 10 fish also of various muddy and sandy colours, about length of the diameter of a soda-bottle cap (my mom said they also cost her about 2 dollars). I said we could split the fish in half, keep 6 and give Kat 6 for her dorm.

So I'm sitting in the car, holding the container of fish my laps and my mom suddenly stops the car because a person walking on the sidewalks falls into the trenches on the sides of the road. The person is ok but the car stops so suddenly and I'm not holding the container securely so it falls from my laps.

The container has a lid so the car is ok but the guy added some small rocks and a fake plant to the container so they kind of bury the some of fish and 6 of them die. I look on like an idiot while mom tries to settle the rocks but another fish is buried when the rocks are settled.

By the time we get home and transfer all the living fish into the bowl we already have, we have 5 fish in total. We move them to a new, slightly bigger bowl and feed them but by the next morning when I'm going to school i see 3 fish left.

When I get home, I tell my mom that maybe we aren't ready for fish and we should give them to Kat whose dorm may be less of a safety hazard (during the end of year break we used to play with the fish a lot, trying to touch their tails etc so we're definitely the reason the first batch died anyway. We're also 8 kids and there are kids older and younger than me so it would be hard to stop EVERYONE from being rough with the fish). I also had exams coming up and I was starting to put of changing the water and cleaning bowl until i saw algae growing on sides.

Kat has a roommate who thinks the fish are cool too so incase one of them forgets maintaining the fish the other can do it. (I also kind of secretly hoped the all fish would just die a week or two into being with them so it wouldn't bother them anymore I feel bad about it)

Anyway, 3 weeks later when Kat came home she took the fish with her. It's around the middle of the first term so it was Visitation Day at Jess's school yesterday (I think the name is self explanatory) and the first thing she asked about was the fish. I didn't know what to say so I told her the truth and she was so SAD!!(I mean obviously she'd be sad but visitation day is supposed to be a good day) because we named the fish and everything(the first batch, not the second) . I tried to tell her how Kat and her roommate were nice and would give the new fish good name but she said that was dumb I knew that was dumb and I wish had just lied about the whole thing and asked my mom to buy new fish but I feel like Jess would know so said nothing else

My mom kind of cheered her up by saying that during the holidays they could go get a good tank and actual goldfish from a better place but she was mad at me because I suggested that the fish be given to Kat and I feel like she's right because it would be stupid to ask Kat to bring the fish wish her the next time she came home.

All my other siblings not just Jess also got attached to the fish so I'll just be breaking the news to everyone for the next three weeks (because all schools where I am schedule visitation day in the same month) and just generally ruining the mood.

What are these acronyms?

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[silverofthunder]

☆ confessions ☆

Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader

summary: As soon as you closed your eyes, finally letting sleep take over you, you heard the words that you, deep down, had been dying to hear.

content: 2.6k words, mystery (kind of), drama, fantasy, romance, friendship, mild hurt/comfort, injury mention

♡♡ part 1 ♡♡ part 2 ♡♡ part 3 ♡♡ part 4 ♡♡ part 5 ♡♡ part 6 ♡♡ part 7 ♡♡ part 8 ♡♡ part 9 ♡♡ part 10 ♡♡

Sorry, this is published so late but life got busy. I haven't forgotten this story, I promise! This part has been written about a month ago, this has just been in my fic file and waited for the moment to be published. So, here this is, hope you enjoy (and hope there are still some who even read this story). :)

You were lying against Copia, naked as the day you were born, on the luxurious bed, slowly drawing patterns on his chest. Your skin was still sweaty as you basked in the afterglow, in the silence that had a shadowy edge now. There was so many questions, words to say but now idea how to ask or say them. All you could do now was to try to enjoy this moment – Copia was there, beside you, gaze directed at the ceiling.

He was worried, though he tried to hide it. But you could know it from the way he was holding you tighter, how he hadn’t refused to feed off from you when your bodies had been locked into the throes of passion just some moments ago. He had taken as much as you were able to give – hence you felt now a bit lightheaded but it was nothing a little food and drink couldn’t fix.

Everything had felt different as the upcoming fight was looming upon you. You had taken your time to feel each other’s bodies, wanting to memorize every single little details on your skins. You didn’t want to forget any of this – not that you ever would if something bad were to happen. It had been close, that those certain words had passed from your lips. But you had sealed Copia’s lips just in time, swallowed those words down before they were released into the delicate air.

You both knew how you felt. Those words needed another moment to see the light. You didn’t want it to happen like this, when there was some uncertainty around you. You didn’t want this to be ’let’s say it before it’s too late’ moment because it wasn’t going to be one.

Copia’s lips connected with your forehead and you hummed quietly.

”So sorry you have to go through this,” he mumbled, and you shifted so that you could tilt your head to look at him. He looked sad, the sight making your heart sink in your chest. You moved to place a light kiss right on the corner of his mouth.

”It’s alright,” you whispered against his skin. ”We never know when the past comes to haunt us.”

”Still I should have told you about it more,” Copia said, and you shook your head, this time claiming his lips in a kiss.

”Hush now,” you said, offering a small smile to him and moving your hand to gently tap his lips. The look in Copia’s eyes softened as he cupped your face, sliding his thumb across your cheek. You leaned into the touch, your eyes fluttering as you breathed slowly in and out.

”You know that I will be stuck with you forever?” It was meant to lighten the mood a little and by the way Copia’s lips turned into a grin told you it had worked.

”Still forever?” He smirked, obviously teasing you and you smacked his chest with your hand.

”I haven’t changed my mind,” you stated. ”To be honest, I want to turn soon.”

Copia’s face fell serious, the hint of worry reaching his eyes as he studied your face. You poked him in the nose.

”Don’t mope. I know you’re waiting for that moment, too.”

A smile passed Copia’s lips, white fangs flashing as his hand slid to the side of your neck where the bite marks were.

”Then you’ll be all mine,” he spoke, the sound of his voice sweet like a purr, making you shiver.

You smirked. ”I’ve always been yours.”

Copia let out a sound that was a mix of a hum and a growl and then pulled you into a kiss. Then he flipped you around fast, pinning you against the mattress, his lips moving to your neck. He inhaled deep before you felt something wet on your skin – his tongue running over the bite marks and you gasped. You could sense Copia wanted to sink his fangs again into you, drink your blood, but he knew he couldn’t do it, yet.

”I love your scent,” Copia purred close to your ear, pressing a light kiss righ under the earlobe and your hands squeezed his sides hard as you chuckled.

”Seems like it’s like a drug to you.”

”Better than any drug,” Copia said, his voice having now a darker edge. ”I could never get enough of this.” Another swipe of tongue and a gentle nip right after made you groan.

Then a thought came into your head.

”Will it change after I’ve turned? My scent?”

”Sí, a little,” Copia spoke against your sensitive skin. ”But it’s still going to be you.”

”And you still can drink it, then?”

”Yes, as well as you mine.”

That thought was thrilling, the image in your head so vivid. The red liquid on your lips, the imaginary taste hitting your tongue before you would swallow it down.

”But I have to drink it so that I can turn? How will it taste?”

You could feel Copia smiling, hear it in his voice.

”You’ll find it out soon.”

The brothers had gone to deal with Sister Imperator and you and Olivia were left at the mansion to wait. It had been several hours and the longer you had to wait, the harder it got. Olivia wasn’t dealing with the wait any better as she was sitting on the couch, biting her nails while you were pacing back and forth near her. The sound of the clock seemed to ring in your ears and you barely could think anything sensible. A part of you wanted to scream and another part just hoped this all was just a bad dream.

You squeezed your hands into fists, trying to focus on your breathing to calm yourself. It didn’t help much but was better than nothing. Olivia ran her hands through her hair before grabbing the nearest couch pillow and hugging it tight.

”Is this always like this?” she asked, making you jump a bit and stop in your tracks. Your gaze met hers and you shook your head.

”No, this is the first time something like this happens,” you answered and Olivia let out a long sigh.

”This is crazy,” she stated, eyes wide. ”I’m scared and worried and… I don’t even know. This all has been a lot, you know.”

You nodded, understanding how overwhelmed she must have felt. She was dragged into all this so quickly she had had no time to let this all sunk in properly.

”But you’re still here,” you said, offering her a reassuring smile. ”That tells something.”

”Yeah, it tells that I’m crazy,” she said, a hint of a smile rising to her lips. ”But he…” she trailed off, lowering her gaze and you could have sworn that there was pink coloring her cheeks. Your smile widened.

”So, how are things between you and Terzo?” You couldn’t help but tease her a bit. She hadn’t shared much about what was going on but considering the situation, you weren’t surprised why. Olivia looked back at you, the blush now evident on her cheeks.

”I really like him,” she admitted. ”And I think he likes me. As weird as this might sound, I actually feel safe around him.”

Something in your chest moved. Happiness. Joy.

”I know exactly what you mean,” you said, smiling and Olivia’s eyes lit up. She was happy that someone understood how she felt.

”Stupid vampires and their charm,” she huffed good-naturedly and you chuckled.

”They certainly are charming and know how to win people on their side.” You walked to the couch and finally sat down beside Olivia. ”But behind all that vampire glamour there is so much more.”

Olivia’s eyes settled on you again and she gave a small nod, though now her smile faded.

”Has something bad happened to you while you’ve been with Copia?”

You weren’t certain what Olivia thought as a bad thing but you had a few little stories to share that weren’t so nice.

”Yes, a few times. Some months ago when I had finished my evening shift I decided to take a shortcut to home,” you started, the memories of the evening returning to your mind. ”It wasn’t a good idea. Some vampire got to me and if Terzo hadn’t come in time, something bad might have happened.”

”Terzo saved you?”

”Yeah, he probably had been somewhere near and caught my scent. Then he took me to Hunter’s Moon as I was so tired and it was closer than my home.”

Olivia looked impressed and you guessed what you just told raised Terzo’s points in her eyes. For a moment she looked like she wanted to say or ask something more related to that matter but decided then otherwise.

”And what is the other not-so-nice thing?”

You sighed, lowering your gaze and started to pick on the hem of your shirt.

”Copia bit me,” you said quietly. ”He lost control for a moment.”

”He what?!” Olivia’s voice was higher now, the shock evident in it.

”Copia bit me,” you repeated, now moving your gaze back up to Olivia. ”It was bound to happen anyway, and we have settled it out. It’s been months since it happened.”

”And you still trust him?”

”Yes, I do. He regretted it instantly. So much that he didn’t see me for a while and he was starving himself,” you said, pausing for a short moment before you told Olivia the rest. A vast range of emotions went through her eyes as she listened to you.

”Oh fuck,” she commented soon. ”And I thought I was the crazy one.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that and soon Olivia joined in, then – completely out of blue – smacking you with the pillow. It only made you laugh harder and try to grab the pillow to yourself but of course you failed. In the end Olivia threw it to the nearest armchair, grinning at you and you just grabbed her instead, pulling her into a hug.

”Enough about me,” you said. ”Now tell me more about you and Terzo. Have you kissed already or have you – oi!” your question got interrupted as Olivia’s pinched your side.

”Who’s nosy now?” she shot back as she tried to wiggle out of your hold. You loosened your arms around her so that she was able to make eye-contact. The deep red on her cheeks and the grin she had told you enough and you smirked.

”Oh, shut up,” Olivia said, letting her head fall on your shoulder.

You laughed. ”I didn’t say anything.”

”But I know what you were thinking,” she stated, poking your side.

”So, you’re really in it now?” you asked and Olivia mumbled something you couldn’t fully hear. Gently you placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her further.

”I think I am,” she admitted with a small, soft smile. ”Though I’m still scared of so many things.”

”This situation definitely isn’t making things easier,” you said, lightly squeezing Olivia’s shoulder. ”But I’m happy you are having an open mind and willing to give Terzo a chance.”

”Yeah, he really seems to be different than those previous assholes I’ve been with.”

You hummed in agreement. ”So it’s possible that he might be your knight in a shining armor?”

Olivia made a face at that, giving you a light shove. Smiling you just pulled her again into a hug and this time Olivia let out a long, content sigh, resting her head against your chest.

”Possibly,” she spoke quietly. ”But I don’t want to go ahead of things yet. In time we’ll see what happens.”

That was understandable. Not wanting to think too far. Especially now. Relationships weren’t that simple, not even though they might have felt like it.

”I’m rooting for you and Terzo, and I really hope it works out between you.”

You could hear the smile when Olivia replied. ”I know.”

It was nearly a dawn when the brothers finally returned to the mantion. You and Olivia had stirred awake from your slumber on the couch and rushed straight to them. They all looked tired but unharmed, at least mostly. Blood stains marred their clothes and skin and there were some tears on their clothes, as well.

You craddled Copia’s face, releaf washing over you as you leaned in to kiss him, tasting someone elses blood on his lips. They must have gotten a little snack before coming back.

”Is it over now?” you asked after and Copia nodded and then you heard a grunt from behind him. You peeked past Copia to see Secondo trying to shake off his shirt, pain visible on his face. Primo helped to tuck the sleeve off and when the shirt finally fell off from Secondo, your eyes landed on the big wound on his shoulder. It looked nasty, red mixing with something black and you were quick to run to take a closer look at it.

You lifted your hand, reaching towards the wound but there was a hiss and a hand grabbing your wrist. You met Secondo’s hard gaze as he pushed your hand away.

”I’ll live,” he said and you furrowed your brows.

”What happened?” You weren’t sure if asking more questions was now a right thing to do but you wanted to know. With sigh, Secondo let go of your wrist, his gaze softening.

”Got stabbed,” he replied flatly. ”There was some poison on the blade. It will heal but more slower.”

You nodded, eyes flickering to the wound, a small smile passing your lips. ”If you say so, grumpy old man.”

That caused tired chuckles to echo in the room and even Secondo flashed something that resembled a smile to you. With one last glance at him, you returned to Copia who slid his other arm instantly protectively around you, pulling you flush against him.

”He’s going to be fine,” Copia said, placing a kiss on your temple.

Your gaze went to Olivia and Terzo who seemed now to be on their own bubble, faces close to one another. Olivia was clealy crying and Terzo was wiping the tears away while whispering some soft words, presumably in Italian. Then you took a look at Primo who was still standing beside Secondo, eyeing his brother with worry and relief.

”Are you alright?” Copia asked, setting his hand under your chin and making you look at him. You offered him a smile, however a bit tired one.

”Yes, now that you’re all here.”

You were glad that they all had come back, just as they had promised. But you couldn’t push the vast exhaustion aside – it felt like it had settled deep into your bones and you were sure that you could sleep for a week straight. A big yawn stretched your mouth soon, and you tried to hide it with your hand but of course it didn’t go unnoticed by Copia.

”We should get some rest,” he spoke against your temple and you mumbled an agreement. ”Though I need a shower first.”

You wanted to reply to that with something sensible but your eyes were now heavy and you had to fight to keep them open and if Copia wasn’t holding you, you might have fell to the floor and slept right there. However, luxurious bed would be a million times better than the cold hardwood floor. Your mind barely registered the words Copia was speaking and then you were picked up and carried to your and Copia’s room.

By the time your back hit the bed, you were already half-asleep. You felt Copia caressing your face, placing a light kiss on your lips, and your heart fluttered happily as you tried to open your eyes. You succeeded to keep them open long enough to see the loving look in Copia’s eyes. And as soon as you closed your eyes, finally letting sleep take over you, you heard the words that you, deep down, had been dying to hear.

”I love you.”

taglist: @nijiru

[getlancered]

Okay guys whos ready who is locked in for one of 3 ace attorney turnabout bigtop rewrite ideas. if u guys are hyped for this i will drop the rewrite 7 years in the past where diego is the defense lawyer 🔥 OK LOCK IN

BULLET POINTS FOR LAZY PEOPLE AT THE BOTTOM

i wrote a lot. read it if you love me. also no read more because i hate you read it

rudinn’s painfully detailed rewrite of ace attorney JFA case 3 turnabout bigtop

so. this may be a little all over the place?! because ive never put it in coherent order i just spontaneously get new ideas and add onto it. maybe i should actually tell u guys about the entire rewrite of the original circus tragedy! yes that sounds like a good idea.

june-ish, 2017

it’s supposed to be like 6 months prior to the murder right

i made the idea of failed equipment... essentially russell decides to teach regina how the equipment is hooked up and taken down so she can do it herself when she ideally runs the circus one day. and before a very rushed show where everything is out of order regina decides to be helpful and hook the net up herself! she does it improperly but there isn’t really time to do anything about it befire the show starts. russell insists acro cant perform without a whole functioning net but he trusts his skills and theyve never actually had to put it to use becuase acro and bat are just that talented!

acro, mid performance, many feet in the air misses a catch. instead of falling to his death bat essentially dives down to act like his net and break his fall. they hit the ground, bat dies on impact, acro is permanently paralyzed.

regina doesnt ever see whats happening because ben shields her and himself from watching the fall, which leaves the crowd and moe to watch the death happen in very real time. he never recovers, the incident marks him with CPTSD and he will shut down at any mention of the accident.

☆

after moe breaks down on stage, the berry big circus holds a final performance before a long overdue break to give everyone time to process.

when they resumes performance, russell decides to hire max galactica as the brand new star of the show! he takes a liking to the anxious and unassuming benjamin woodman and is extremely curious about the person he is behind the persona of trilo. being the first person in the circus to take a liking to him as a person and not the crutch to his crippling anxiety, trilo quist, they quickly grow close over the 6 months following.

december 26th, 2017

russell berry is traveling solo for a networking event, and is extremely nervous about leaving the circus in moe’s hands. moe is extremely clumsy and immature. he’s not at all confident in moe’s ability to fire a gun (you know, in the canon game where he shoots a lion? i’m keeping that.) this fear is reinforced during a game of darts between the two of them, where moe rips a hole in the circus tent in an attempt at reassuring russell of his impeccable aim.

russell decides to teach his dear friend how to fire a handgun. and because russell has never fired while wearing gloves, he’s hesitant to let moe try it, so they practice without gloves on. (because how else would the defendant’s fingerprints be on the gun, silly?)

a few hours later…

6 months after his brother’s violent death and acro’s permanent disability by his own misjudgement, he can’t live with himself. he takes russell’s gun from his office up to his room, places a suicide note on his bed, and—

regina berry walks in.

there’s nothing she can do but ask why. having been spared the details and the moment of the death thanks to ben, she doesn’t understand. so acro explains it to her. they have a very heartfelt conversation clearing up a lot of resentment, and they begin their steps together to mending their relationship and acro’s mental health. regina takes his suicide note from his room because he doesn’t need it. she, ultimately, decides to keep it as the first harsh reality she’s had to face and as a milestone for acro getting better.

december 27th, 2017.

uh oh.

by now, the entire circus tent is well aware of maximillian galactica and his anger issues. it’s smart to let him win any disagreement out of fear of it turning into a heated argument.

russell berry laments to moe about this in his office, shortly before the murder. he’s nervous about leaving the circus when he tends to be the mediatior. (mostly between moe and max.) moe tells him, ever so gracefully, that it is russell’s circus and he should fucking act like it, and to please put max in his goddamn place already. aka, talk to him about it. russell, who is notoriously bad at confrontation, decides to go and finally have a long overdue chat with max, who is still in the dinner hall. so he leaves moe in his office to go and do just that. (chronologically, this translates to this scene, but like. with moe instead of max. i havent gotten around to redrawing it...)

meanwhile…

everybody in the circus treats acro and his disability like a forbidden topic, and max is sick of it! all he has for some damn context around here is a picture of the scene in action, which is supposedly in a tabloid somewhere. he’s not satisfied with this, so he decides to go straight to the source and demand that someone finally tell him what the hell happened to this shitshow of a circus.

acro, of course, attempts to calmly turn him down, but max refuses to take no for an answer. when acro gets defensive, their argument turns heated.

you all know this scene well as ben and max’s argument. however, instead, max breaks the bottle over acro’s head. he immediately goes limp, blood spilling down his split forehead a-la turnabout trump.

max fucking panics. he takes his obnoxious hat and uses it to cover acro’s wound, and then wheels the dead man straight to benjamin woodman in absolute hysterics over what to do.

ben proposes the idea of faking acro’s suicide, citing that he was already suicidal and that way no one goes to jail! max has no reason to deny it. so ben tells max to retrieve russell’s gun, a pen, and a piece of paper while ben takes acro’s body upstairs to his room.

at the same time max is heading out to retrieve the items, russell has finally gotten around to speaking to max after procrastinating with a few chores regarding regina’s animals. he walks into the dining hall to see a small pool of blood on the ground, a broken glass bottle, and no max.

what’s it like to be a murderer?

well, when you’re max galactica and moe is asleep at the desk in russell’s office? pretty easy after a quick heart attack. there’s papers on top of russell’s desk, though. looks like someone’s been snooping. he takes the items he needs, remaining undetected, and then meets ben in acro’s room.

ben creates the forged note while max removes acro’s headpiece and drapes his hair in a way that conceals the wound. he then attempts to work up the courage to shoot acro in the temple with russell’s gun. after some more hysterics from max trying to hold a gun, ben decides to do it on his own. while wearing max’s gloves of course, he’s not stupid.

he might actually be stupid though, because he later ends up leaving his beloved trilo quist behind. oops! ben and max carefully lay acro on the bed and leave their victimless crime behind. it’s better this way, isn’t it? now nobody has to be arrested.

not unless your name is moe and your life sucks!

upon waking up hours later, still very russell-less, moe decides to check in on acro because it seems long overdue given how late into the night it’s gotten. he opens the door to see acro lying dead in his bed, and he breaks.

he holds acro close for a long long time. he just holds acro and cries. when he’s too tired to cry anymore, he sits on the floor at the foot of acro’s bed, head to his knees in a state of shock. and he remains that way even when russell finds the two of them, even when russell attempts to shake him out of shock. even as police cars pull up and whisk him away from the scene of the crime.

at first, nothing is out of the ordinary. acro died by suicide, he left the note. regina is sobbing, insisting that he would never, but as a young girl who has never had to deal with grief to such a degree before, her cries aren’t taken to heart.

not until they discover the real cause of death, and a moe’s fingerprints on the gun.

gumshoe takes moe in handcuffs, attempting to calm the panicking clown under the guise of “asking a few questions.” when he lets the fingerprints slip, moe calls to russell to tell them what’s actually going on and to clear up the horrible misunderstanding!

russell does not. he stares in somewhat of a trance at the ordeal unfolding in-front of him. being a man who cannot act without a prior plan of what exactly to do, he isnt sure what to say to make sure moe isn’t incriminated further. so he says nothing, and moe is taken to the detention center.

umm the rest of this is. a little vague? i havent worked out the trials or investigation sequences yet.

i do plan for this little rewrite of mine to, one day, be a playable thing! i am so passionate about this case that i want people to see it through a new light and love it like i do.

i will give you all the unstructured rundown of my ideas further, including my evidence list, some fun little dialogue snippets, potential sprites i’d be drawing, and a couple of random ideas for what could happen during the playable bit of the game.

evidence list!

basically just everything phoenix will find/have on him throughout the case. sorted by room and in order of discovery. sort of. subject to change…

misc/given:

Attorney’s Badge - It’s my all-important badge. It shows that I am a defense attorney.

Maya’s Magatama - Slightly translucent. It radiates softly with a mysterious light.

Crime Photo - A picture of the crime scene. (recieved from detective gumshoe)

Moe’s Gloves - They’re covered in blood. Supposedly, because he was holding the body. (recieved from moe)

Incident Photo - A picture of Acro mid-air. (recieved from max)

Newspaper Clipping 1 - Acrobat Sean Dingling falls to his death. (recieved from russell)

Acro’s Autopsy Report - Time of death: 8:30 PM. Cause: Sharp force trauma to the forehead. (presented by detective gumshoe)

Pistol - Belongs to Russell. Two shots fired. Bears Acro’s and Moe’s fingerprints. (presented by detective gumshoe)

Broken Glass Bottle - The murder weapon. Found in the cafeteria trashcan covered in blood. (presented by franziska)

Newspaper Clipping 2 - Berry Big Circus closing it’s doors for the foreseeable future to watch the health of their performers. (presented by franziska)

ringmaster’s room:

Max G. Promo Poster - Covered in sparkles. His stage makeup is certainly flashy.

The Flying Dingling-Berries Promo Poster - It’s color is faded from years in the spotlight.

Letter of Resignation - An unsigned letter detailing someone’s desire to move on to better employment opportunities.

big top:

Torn Circus Tent - A large hole torn in the main tent of the Big Top. Not far below a hanging dart board.

Acrobat’s Net - A tightly-strung net for the acrobat’s performance.

cafeteria:

Bloody Footprints - Despite having seemingly no origin, a short trail of footprints lead from the cafeteria to the Ringmaster’s Room.

moe’s room:

Sentimental Photo - A framed photo of a young Acro and Bat with Moe wrapping his arms around them.

regina’s room:

Suicide Note 2 - Hidden in Regina’s drawer. Acro will never be able to put the accident behind him, but he doesn’t want to keep the circus in the past with him.

acro’s room:

Suicide Note 1 - Left on Acro’s nightstand. Acro can’t live with himself knowing Bat died because of him.

Trilo Quist - A ventriloquist's puppet. An operatic tenor who doubles as Ben's sidekick.

Headband - A golden headband with red gems. There’s traces of blood on it.

ben’s room:

Silk Hat - Made-to-order fedora that is a symbol of Max's fabulousness. There’s blood on the inside of the hat.

White Gloves - Pristine white gloves with a bit of sparkle. Also, traces of gunpowder.

WHEW. Done

some things i cooked up regarding evidence pieces…

Incident Photo - A picture of Acro mid-air. (recieved from max)

when interrogating max and presenting the acrobat’s promo poster to him, you get this line of dialogue.

Max: Oh, hmm…They were fabulous, I’ve heard. And believe me, I’ve heard very little. They’re something of a touchy subject.

Max: When I asked why, Ben gave me this photo and told me to never bring it up again.

Max: Apparently it was rather the scandal! They had to close temporarily until I came along, of course~

max gives you the incident photo, which you then show to the members of the circus. phoenix learns from regina and russell that, aside from acro, moe took the incident the hardest. russell also gives you the first newspaper clipping.

when you show this photo to moe in the detention center, he freezes up and puts up psyche-locks. i haven’t done much with those yet, though.

The Flying Dingling-Berries Promo Poster - It’s color is faded from years in the spotlight.

when you show this to moe, he absolutely loses it laughing. that’s it. just a stupid bit about how absolutely awful their name is. he cracks the expected jokes.

Newspaper Clipping 2 - Berry Big Circus closing it’s doors for the foreseeable future to watch the health of their performers. (presented by franziska)

franziska, at some point in the trial while moe is on the stand, attempts to make a case against him and how he’s mentally unstable using the clipping being about his breakdown on the stage. she also brings up his severe depression he experienced for some time after the accident, his unnatural behavior upon finding the body/his response to fear, and his tendency to severely dissasociate any time the accident is brought up.

Letter of Resignation - An unsigned letter detailing someone’s desire to move on to better employment opportunities.

various reaction dialogue snippets incoming

Moe: Me? Quit? HAHAH! Yeah right, Wright! I think Russ would feed me to the lions if I even tried. Ha. Haha…

Moe: …I’ve got no reason to, anyhow. They’re like my family.

Moe: Give it to Max. I’ve always hoped its his. The whole circus would be better off if an attitude like his would magically disappear!

——

Max: Oh, darling, this circus wouldn’t run the same without me! I bring a fabulous sparkle that’s impossible to replace~

Max: Not to mention a fabulously packed audience. I make the circus all of it’s money, sweetie.

Max: Not a soul on this earth could resist the talent that is Maximilian Galactica!

Max: Hmm…Don’t let word slip, now, but Ben might know a thing or two. He’s been having a few…struggles, lately.

——

Trilo: Max and his big mouth…! He’s a huge gossip! Him and his fancy agency…

Trilo: Those flamboyant douchebags are used to spilling all sort of secrets, I tell ya!

Ben: W-What—um, Trilo is try—trying to say—

Trilo: Spit it out! Ugh. It’s not his, and it sure ain’t mine! Ben’s a quitter, but not me, no siree.

Trilo: I hate these looney-tunes bunch of jokes, but the entertainment industry is all about CONNECTIONS! Max is like a goldmine! No way I’m leaving now.

Trilo: Ben and this Berry-Big-Joke are stuck with me!

Trilo: It’s Acro’s. Gotta be. I thought he was gonna kill himself, which…Oops! Awkward. But he must’ve—

Ben: Tr-Trilo…! Goodness! Don’t speak ill of th—the…of the…

Trilo: Dead?! It’s not “speaking ill” if it’s just the facts! Are you trying to silence me?! Your own partner?!

Ben: …

Trilo: Thought so.

Trilo: Yeah, not sure what happened! He probably tried to quit and then gave up and killed himself or something. Who knows!

Ben: M-my gosh…

it’s bens btw. he’s a liar.

brief playable section outlined? i dont have a lot of specifics…

opens with a playable bit from the POV of moe waking up in the ringmaster's room. he walks around the berry big circus in a bit of a daze. when he leaves to see a dark sky, he comments on how late it is and that he should probably go check on acro. you find the body and get a bit of an emotion snippet before it fades to black.

maya calls phoenix and tells him to look at the TV, apparently there's been a death at the berry big circus that they went to see the day prior and they should check it out.

moe isn't visible in the detention center. that is, until maya presses her face to the glass and sees moe sitting on the floor, pouting. he tells phoenix and maya, who he mistakes for max galactica paparazzi, to go away. you show him your attorney's badge and get a dialogue bit about him being abandoned by russell, and also not believing this is genuinely a murder and just a suicide. when you get through to him that he is under arrest for murder, he essentially begs phoenix to represent him. like usual, maya guilt trips him into it.

russell is in the bigtop circus tent. you question him about the hole, and he tells you about moe's terrible aim. you bring up a dialogue bit about "abandoning moe" and he tells you about the arrest. you can show him the acrobat/max promo posters after picking them up and get a bit about that too.

you chase ben around the circus for a bit before finding regina in the lodging house and learning that he doesn't talk to anyone unless he has trilo. you also talk to regina about the murder, she reinforces that this can’t be a suicide because acro would never do anything like this. not after all they talked about.

talk to gumshoe in acros room, discuss what he knows about the case and get respective evidence pieces from gumshoe. and also get trilo.

give trilo to ben, talk to him about the circus. also, talk about the supposed new star of the circus and how great he is. after showing max’s promo poster.

break into moe’s room. find his very sweet photo of acro and bat

trial one, gumshoe first as per usual. trial 2-1, brief testimony from moe about his alibi. cross examine regina about her conversation with acro. then, cross examine her about the gunshot she heard and the time she heard it. trial 2-2, cross examine russell about his alibi. prove that he isnt really telling the court everything he knows.

second investigative period, this is where it gets way less structured LOLOL. meet max formally for the first time, get the incident picture from him. investigate more about the incident.

show the picture to regina, she gives you testimony about the accident and moe. show the picture to russell, he gives you the newspaper clipping. show the picture to ben, he tells you about him giving it to max.

you can show moe’s sentimental picture to ben and get a bitter little dialogue bit! nothing fun, yet.

show the letter of resignation around. get the dialogue pieces i showed earlier. unlock some psyche locks from ben to find out that its his

break into reginas room. find acro’s not forged very real suicide note

break into bens room. find everything incriminating max galactica

show moe the newspaper clippings and unlock some psyche locks and he cries to you for a very very long time about the accident

more psyche locks from russell probably. argument between max and acro revealed and the rest of the shit he’s been hiding. man i dont know

trial 4-1, cross examine moe and his testimony some more. franziska calls him crazy for a while. put him to the side while you get a very brief max galactica testimony, then some stuff from ben. trial 4-2 ben openly breaks down on the stand about feeling unloved and left out by the circus and that max is the only person who gives a shit. cross examine max and find out about the argument with acro. max galactica murder breakdown. thats it? we win? max goes to jail?

HOLD IT BITCH. the stupid clown is not done. he starts begging phoenix not to ruin their circus, that max can’t be a murderer because he’s the star and acro must have killed himself. phoenix gives moe acro’s real suicide note and then he just cries on the stand for a while.

comfort moe some more outside of the courtroom, convince him that acro doesn’t hate him forever and that the circus will be okay.

the end 🔥

BULLET POINTS FOR LAZY PEOPLE HERE‼️

regina fucks up the net for the acrobat performance. no one does shit about it. acro and bat fall and die. onlt bat dies though actually

moe is FUCKED UP over it. breaks down on stage and the circus shuts down PTSD PARTAY

enter gayboy stage left he flirts with ben like no freakin tomorrow dude

russell has to leave for work because plot purposes and moe is fucking stupid. tears a hole in the tent trying to prove to russell that hes not fucking stupid

so russell teaches moe how to fire a gun incase he needs to Fire A Gun while russell is gone. gloves off duh silly his fingerprints gotta be on there somehow!

yeah when theyre done with that gun acro tries to KILL HIS FUCKIN SELF

regina finds him and cries. they makesies upsies and become best friends. so regina takes his suicide note

MAX GALACTIA IS A FUCKING CUNT. — russell berry to moe in his room. moe tells him to Man the fuck up snd talk to him

moe falls asleep when russell leaves lol

while they talk about this shit max galactica proceeds to be a fucking cunt by killing acro with a glass bottle because acro didnt wanna tell him about his tragic dead brother

max puts his hat on acro’s head to hide the gaping fucking wound. goes to his forbidden gay lover to ask what to do with a dead body?! the Normal Logical Thing of course; stage a suicide

russell procrastinated btw so when he goes to find max he finds blood instead

max finds stuff to forge a suicide note, and because he’s too much of a pussy to shoot acro himself ben does it for him. like a good boyfriend

moe wakes up like 5 hours later after a terrible nap and stumbles around the circus until he finds a Body

holds acro instead of calling the cops. sits on the floor instead of calling the cops

when russell finds them in the morning and calls the cops they arrest moe after like 2 seconds of realizing its not a suicide and this dumb bitchs fingerprints are on the gun

Russell doesnt do shit btw. lets it happen. like the loser he is.

im not bullet pointing the playable stuff this shit took fucking forever

THATS MY ABSOLUTELY DERANGED BIGTOP RANT. thanks for reading if you love me. PLEASE READ THIS AND ENJOY THIS CASE AS MUCH AS ME

[lorimnnn]

Mine Pt. 4

summary: before Michael was ever ‘The Shape’ of Haddonfield, he was just a boy. he was a boy in love with the girl across the road, his sister’s best friend--- the only girl to show him kindness, love and warmth. you.

Basically, Michael falls in love with his sister’s best friend at 6, who sometimes played emergency babysitter especially when Judith was fooling around with her bf. He clings to those memories growing up in the asylum until the day he breaks out, where he decides the first thing he wants to do is find you and keep you, your sunshine only for him. Reader is super girly and feminine, which just fuels michael’s possessiveness.

cw: gore, violence, kidnapping, obsession, manhandling, possessiveness, non-con themes, murder, not edited :((

welcome back:  puppiegutz666  clovers-anxiety  dragonlorpar  nightmare669  r0reep  novaeisnothere  fanlovedlt  idcalol

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laylasbunbunny

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

~

You’re numb. 

Time slips past your fingers like sand, your breaths more laboured by the hour. Long after he leaves, long after the police finally infiltrate your graveyard of a home, you’re still rendered comatose by shock. No, by grief.

How has your life come to this?

Not that you’d had dreams, or anything. That had never really been your thing. Ambitions were beyond you. Of course, you thought what they were doing with the suffragettes was amazing. It was about time. Opportunities and basic human decency, the validity of a woman’s life as just a life--- it should have been a given. It shouldn’t have been questioned, and it should have never had to have been fought for in the first place. But as amazing as you thought there was, it would never alter your outlook on life.

What did you even want from your life?

It had always seemed to be a given that you were put on this earth to live. What that exactly entailed didn’t really matter to you. Your life, your choice. If you chose to bum out for the rest of your existence, why not? If you chose to forge a career, why not?

You chose to get a job that funded your fun. Forbidden romantic rendezvous with unsuspecting men who would later spend a good six months of their life worshipping you and the rest remembering what it was like. Parties and dates and whatever the fuck you wanted to do. Whoever the fuck you wanted to do. 

It angered you that suddenly, your life had shrunk into the size of a little, puny rock in an overgrown man’s fist. 

But that wasn’t even the worst part.

The worst part was...

“Miss L/N, please. Please co-operate if you can. I understand you’re in shock, but your statement is critical to furthering the investigation.”

You sighed.

You couldn’t escape the police anywhere. Not even in your hospital bed, chained up by IVs and barred across the stomach by your tray. Untouched jello and porridge. 

Gross. 

And you weren’t talking about the food.

The officer at your bedside clicked his pen again. Over and over and over again. 

“I’m not allowed to talk to men.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, officer.”

“Miss L/N.”

“Do you want to die?”

And you weren’t even joking. The words fell out of your mouth with some sort of airy humour, some sort of empty threat. But it wasn’t you that would do anything. No. Who knows--- he was probably watching right then. Waiting. Establishing his next victim.

You thought of the cute, rookie cop who had so diligently guarded your house. Who had watched you, red-faced and flustered and so, achingly hard as you changed behind an exposed window, that vivacious, scarlet lingerie set a teasing invitation he would never be able to accept. It was good fun. 

Could’ve been more, if your serial-killer stalker hadn’t cock-blocked you. 

Fucking Michael Myers and his baseless obsession. 

“Miss L/N, I can assure you that I can handle myself. I’m part of the FBI. And you’re currently under witness protection.”

“Sure I am.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know. What about you check the news? I’m not sure shoving me in a random new town with a random new name will do you or me any good, officer. Respectfully, of course.” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, I changed my mind. Fuck off, unkindly.”

“Miss L/N.”

“What in the flying fuck do you want me to say? It’s exactly what it looks like.” You shrugged. “I used to babysit Michael Myers and for some reason, he came back for me. I don’t know why. If I knew, I would’ve called you first before any more people could die. Just chuck me behind bars at this rate. Probably safer in there than it is in here.”

Click click click. 

That fucking pen.

The officer rolled it between his forefinger and thumb, eyes moving over his notes, one ear tilted your way as you talked. His eyes blanked with thought. There was an unsettling amount of consideration he took regarding your words that possessed you with the urge to squirm--- he knew something you didn’t, he knew something he would never tell you. 

And judging by the way his gaze darted between you and his notes, up and down with equal scrutiny....

The more you talked, the deeper the hole you dug yourself.

You were only an object to him. Honestly, probably even the height of his career.

“How’d you know you wanted to be a cop?”

The Officer blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

He paused. Looked at you like he was trying to read you. But you had no answers for him. Answers that you’d probably want for yourself first, anyway. 

“I...”

You stared.

“I just did. I knew it. It was my purpose in life. It was my dream.”

“Boring.”

“Boring?” He raised one eyebrow. “Those are the words of someone who’s never had a dream to begin with. And looking at your file, I don’t think I’m wrong.”

“So what if I didn’t live my life by the books? Why should I be expected to know these things from the beginning?”

“There’s nothing wrong with not knowing, Miss L/N. It’s the not trying. Have you ever tried?”

Of course you tried.

In this stupid world, all you could ever do was try. 

Try live. Make sense of it all. Realise you never will. So then you try surviving. Can’t do that? You’re existing. 

And you were fine with existing. Sometimes those late night escapades made you feel like you were immortal. Eternal. Infinite. People lived, survived and died. You would exist and exist forever. 

“What are you trying to say, officer?”

“You tell me, Miss L/N. According to your file, you’ve always been a popular party girl. Living for cheap thrills. Nothing particularly beyond that.”

“And there’s something wrong with that?”

“You’re missing the point.”

“You fail to have one.” You lifted your chin. “Are we done here?”

The officer only smirked. He stood and looked you over, once again seeing something you didn’t, once again scaring you with how tempting it was to wrap the tube of your IV around this fucker’s neck and watch him die on these cold, linoleum floors. 

“Parties and sex aren’t the only way people get cheap thrills, Miss L/N. Your history of moral depravity and narcissistic justice are what conceived history’s most horrifying killer. Perhaps you’re more compatible than you think.”

He walked out. 

He walked out and like a gentleman, offered a smile as he closed the door.

What the fuck?

What the fuck? 

You screamed yourself hoarse at his shadow. 

___

Was it your fault?

Was it?

That was the thought that continually plagued you the moment the officer left and the second nightfall hit. You’d drawn your knees up to your chin, frail arms wrapped around your calves. He’d used such fancy words--- fancier words than you’d ever use to call someone a secret psychopath.

What a pretentious dick.

Moral depravity and narcissistic justice your ass. He probably rehearsed those words in front of mommy before he ever said them to you. Motherfucker. Little shit. For someone so ‘intelligent’, you could think of a hundred better ways to show it than to blame an innocent woman for someone else’s mental... Not even problems. Mental nothing. Whatever went on in Michael’s brain was beyond you. It was beyond everyone,

And obviously, beyond that fucking officer. 

Oh well.

He’d be dying in a few hours anyway. 

Hang on.

The fuck?

“Did I really just think that?” You paused, tilting your head towards the window. It was barred shut and you could hear the wind and rain whipping the smudged glass. You would do anything to nudge it open a bit. Get a breath of fresh air and remind yourself you’re still alive, that you’re not just another name in someone else’s narrative. That you had as much willpower as anybody did, and wouldn’t succumb to something as stupid as peer pressure. “Maybe he wasn’t making up about moral hunger or whatever.”

Because you had to be honest.

If you closed your eyes, as much as you pretended to hate it, you were comforted by Michael in your arms. Even with him threatening to gauge out your intestines, you’d reminsiced. You’d remembered how it had been, how easy it had been then--- when you were young and still had your heart intact and highschool wasn’t all about hunting you down for counselling and gossiping about whether or not you were the one who told Michael to do it.

To kill Judith.

About everyone knew that you were babysitting the little killer, that your friendship with Judith was balancing precariously on the precipice of completely falling apart. Judith couldn’t keep her mouth shut about anything. So why did you have to? Why did you have to be the better person just because it was the right thing to do?

There you go again.

You sighed. “What the fuck. I need to clear my head.”

But nobody would be letting you out. The closest thing you had to escape was the bathroom, and at that point, you were taking whatever you could get. And that was a shower. A long, hot shower, missing half your skin-care products and useless pampering tools, but it was a hot shower nonetheless and you were taking it.

Is he watching me now? 

The thought struck you without warning, and you froze in the midst of undressing. Suddenly, there was an underlying, taboo hint of sensuality in everything you did. Peeling off your shirt, your shoulders flexing, spine lengthening. Loose pants sinking lower on your hips. The fabric grazing the surface of your skin, the slow drag all too similar to someone’s heavy-handed carress.

Was this wrong?

Were you secretly a problematic nymphomaniac? 

Your breathing escaped you quicker, harsher. Your hands shook as you reached for your throat, remembering the roughened meat of his palm against your delicate flesh, holding you captive with impossible strength. He had bended you to subservience, just like that. Without trying. Without you properly fighting. 

And that’d pissed you off more than anything--- this little boy pretending to be a grown man, throwing you this way and that, using force to achieve the impulses of every habitual whim. 

But..

He’d sunk into you yesterday.

He’s softened. He’d become human again. He grew up. He’d pursued you for a scrap of affection he would never be able to relive--- it was stolen from him.

And here you were, sympathising with a killer. No. 

Sympathising with a man so starved of affection that he only knew how to threaten the one person who’d given it to him, hoping for it again.

It’d been tragic.

It’d been...

You wanted to sob. You were fucked, you were so fucked in the head. And as the water hit your skin, as your hand ventured south of your body, nipples erect and skin prickled over with goosebumps, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

You were hardly aware of the clanging outside. None of it mattered.

Nothing at all. 

Was it wrong, that you were remembering his hardness now?

That at the prime of the moment, you’d hated it. But now you remember it with a strange hope, with a whispering “what if”--- because, what if? 

What if Michael Myers was more than a monster? Or what if he was only a monster, cultivated by misunderstandings and chanceless assumptions?

He had been a live animal in your arms, yesterday.

A live animal. Alive. Real. Tangible. 

Less... Terrifying. 

Were you the only one who would ever see him like this?

And did that make you wrong, or the world wrong? 

You didn’t flinch when the door to your shower slid open behind you. It was like that scene out of psycho, where the killer attacked that poor woman without her ever suspecting, without the face ever showing, only his hand and the knife. Funny how it was almost metaphorical, now. Because nobody would ever believe if you if you told them there was a time in Michael’s life where all he wanted was someone to show that that they did see him, that the attention he so desperately begged for was within reach, that his sister might’ve not paid attention the way she was supposed to but at least her best friend did. 

You should probably be scared.

Petrified, even, so you feign it as you lift your gaze over your shoulder and see him, because you’re more scared of what it means if you aren’t.

And there he was.

Standing there, a void of nothing, yet still consuming you all the same.

That mask.

That fucking mask.

If you tore it off his face, would your sanity come back for you? Would his face finally deter you? 

Shakily, you reached outwards, fingers curling as they neared him, burned away by those demonic, soulless eyes. You got close enough to almost touch him before his hand came out of nowhere and caught your wrist, grip hard enough to bruise you purple. A weak cry started in your throat.

It never escaped. 

“Why?” you whisper.

And of course, he had no answer for you. Just staring. Only staring. Holding your wrist in a grip hard enough to break, naked body trembling even as the water began to scald your back. 

“Trying to get to second base so soon?” You try, and you can’t stop. Why are you joking with him? What part of this is a joke? “I didn’t think it was in you to skip first base, but then again. I’m not sure I know you at all.”

His grip softened.

“I’ll be taking that back,” you said, and surprisingly, he let you rip your arm away. It landed with a faint smack against your chest. “Guess I didn’t teach you well enough if you think pulling me around, driving me insane with fear is a good way to woo a woman, let alone your old babysitter.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you turned away from him, entire body shaking so violently, all sense of strength abandons you within seconds. But you forced yourself to reach for the sponge. Forced yourself to soap your body like he wasn’t there, like this waws an everyday occurrence. 

And well, it sort of was. Minus the serial killer part.

Men have been in your shower before, right? 

He was just another.

He meant nothing to you, right?

Get it together, Y/n. 

“So who was it this time?” You could see his reflection against the wet tile. He stared listlessly back at you--- so nonchalant, yet so, distinctly intent. “The poor soul who had to suffer at your hands for existing, that is. I’m really hoping it wasn’t my nurse. She was actually pretty nice. Didn’t do shit. But none of them do, right?”

He stepped forward.

Your breath hitched in your throat. 

“I-I-” you cleared your throat. “I...”

Something touched your back. Something roughened, heavy-handed but deceivingly gentle, the water trickling down your spine washing the blood off the rest of his finger. It pooled at your feet, staining the drain. 

You’re paralysed.

You couldn’t stop it as that cursed finger trailed further south, tingles spiraling across your back in waves, zinging at every forewarning of more pressure. 

His hand. Your bare back. 

It was the worst kind of foreplay known to man.

Death?

Something worse?

Your eyes widened at the feel of his entire palm splayed out across the small of your back, pushing gently until your front touched the wall of the shower. There was so much power behind that simple push. So much deliberation, like he was teetering on the edge of killing you, just like that.

But he wouldn’t. 

No. 

That traitorous, earthy groan that escaped him said all. The way he pushed the rest of his body against you said more. 

And it also said something else. 

You were never getting out of this. 

Hardcore smut in next part!

And as usual, reblogs appreciated! Comment or follow to be up to date with the next one!

[iloveslllycatss]

## "𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘"

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 ! 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘔𝘓 𝘏𝘈𝘉𝘐𝘉𝘛𝘐 𝘕𝘈𝘋𝘖𝘖𝘕 @sttarzxx 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, the paraghraph text and response to it was copy and pasted from me and the dude this happened to me withs chat......... 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 2 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘋𝘠𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌 (𝘫𝘬)

"im gonna do it. im gonna text him."

you were on vc with your best friend. for context, you had a crush. a MASSIVE crush on a boy named robby. you had liked him for 2 years now, the only bad thing? you guys were barely friends. you guys had a class together, and he would always talk to you (hed call u weird when u declared you were spiderman.).. all until you left school for second semester. you hadnt seen robby in about 6 months, but you still liked him (attachment issues go hard). u guys used to text, too. itd mostly be u texting with double chats and him replying in a dry way... but u still liked him AHAHA, so 2 days ago.. you asked your friend for his number...

"hey"

you texted, and he replied right away

"hi"

after that, you guys had texted for 5 minutes, asking things like "hru" or "wyd" until he finally said

"who even are u?"

your eyes widened seeing this, and you were a pussy, so you said

"im f/n (fake name)"

you guys, for another day kept texting back and fourth.. the only thing is, you acted like u didnt have a clue who he was, what he liked, and what he did.

"i do karate, i think its cool to have balance in your life and karate gave me that."

..... you already knew that, but you couldnt help but act like u didnt.

it was like u two havent met eachother. but little did u know, he was observant as fuck.

"you know u remind me of someone, u text the same as her. her name is y/n"

he said, and ur eyes widened. u couldnt believe that he had memorized your texting style. but you were a pussy, so u denied it.

a couple days go by and u guys still text, you overthink everything he says and you were starting to think your friends were getting tired of you ranting ab it to them all the time. there was this one time where u two had been talking, and the convo? it wasnt good. at all.

"k"

he said, and you furrowed ur eyebrows...

"WYM K?? THATS LIKE THE DRIEST MESSAGE EVER"

....

"yeah ik"

...... what? you couldnt believe it. was he bored of u already? were u being too annoying? were u just a bother?

your heart sunk, and u felt ur knees go weak. not weak in a "i just folded" typa way, but in a "im gonna kms" typa way.

your thoughts kept flooding with things like "i just annoyed him" or "he doesnt want to talk to me anymore." and you wanted to cry.

you start to rant ab it to your friends, balling ur eyes out as u do, you were in ur head about it, letting it get to you. your hands trembled as u typed about it to your friends. you had always been insecure about your personality, not wanting ppl to see u as too much or crazy. so u finally replied to him.

"ok"

its been 15 since youve been on delivered (or read, he didnt have read recipts on)

u desperately wanted to talk to him so u sent anotyher message

"hihii"

when he replied, you got so happy u forgot about the fact that you were crying about him the night before. but the thing is, he would leave u on read the whole day, and it stressed u out.

everyone had been telling u to just tell him who u were, and to stop being a pussy. hell, even snap ai wasnt on your side. so u write a paragraph, wanting to send it to him

"hi robby, so ive been feeling kinda bad recently for this and i hope u forgive me and that this doesnt ruin our 'friendship' kinda thing going on, basically i lied ab like a couple things and i feel bad IFDJNEJN so uh im y/n (u guessed right kinda craz) and IK I LIED AB NOT KNOWING B/F/N BUT I FELT LIKE ITD BECOME AWKS and stuff, f/n is my online name since ion give my real name out (and its a nickname my freinds call me), im sorry for acting like i didnt know who u were i was just being a pussy difjejfn but the truth is i asked b/f/n to send me a bunch of (school name) numbers and u was like the only person (other than 2 girls) who texted me back and I DIDNT KNWO IT WASS U AT FIRST but when u told me who u were i didnt know how to keep the 'friendship' going (r we friends??? idek atp) nd ik this is gonna make everything awkward and stuff but uh yeah im really really sorry for lying 2 u and i hope we can still b friends lol (ts up 2 u//im coming back next year too so idk if that helps EKJFNEIJNF)"

SENT !

... you were stressing atp, would he block u? would he be dry? would he ghost u? say "oh ok"? call u weird and tell everyone?

you didnt know how to feel, you wanted to cry. you were in ur head about this whole situation and u couldnt help but overthink. so u turn to your best friends, wanting-- no, needing reassurance. they continue to tell u its okay and that he wont break your heart. but you cant help it, that feeling. that feeling of your heart sinking, the feeling of the lump that forms in your throat, the feeling where you just want to feel better. but you cant. you were paranoid. you were tearing up. but you forced yourself not to cry, u didnt wnat to be a crybaby, but u couldnt help it. the tears had already formed and started to fall, your vision fogging up and your eyelashes wet. you couldnt believe u thought ur lifew could be like a wattpad love story. you were cracking your knuckles and picking at the skin around your cuticles, something u did when u were stressed. you then went to bed, hoping everything would be okay.

the next morning u wake up. the first thing u do is check every other social media and dm before his, you had a feeling he was gonna make u cry (again).

when u finally open the text, your whole expression lights up.

"I mean I suspected it and I am personally fine with the lie you told and yea I can forgive u but as you know I am a dry texter"

you were so happy. u couldnt believe it. you quickly change his contact name back from "oh" to "ROBBYYY! <33" and you smiled so big your jaw started to hurt

maybe there was a chance.

@/ilovesillycats

plz dont copy my work 😞

[maes-flowers]

For them, For us [6] (Obi-wan x Reader)

Summary: Following the Kenobi series, two former Jedi masters Obi-wan Kenobi and Y/n Marilla are grieving the lost of Anakin, Padme, and the jedi purge. After pledging to watch over Luke Skywalker and spending ten years in exile and making a life together, what will happen when the mistakes they made in their past come back as a new threat?

Warnings: Canon typical violence but that should be it

Authors note: IM ALIVE AND BACK BITCHES ive been working on this on and off for the last few months that its gotten way longer than i was planning and I still have 14 pages that I spilt off from this for the final part and maybe a epilogue as well but I've missed this series so much and if you enjoyed this very overdue update please let me know down below!

Prologue - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

You and Obi-wan watched Leia comfort people with Lola as the explosions grew closer together, the small droid beeping happily at a little boy and his mother. She must've sensed your presence because she turned around and smiled as you waved her over.

Obi-wan kneeled on the ground as you stood behind him, when Leia walked over clutching Lola. 

“They're scared.” she said, another explosion boomed outside. “She keeps their mind off of it.”

“Maybe I should borrow her too.” Obi-wan suggested.

Leia looked at him confused.

“Why?”

You sighed and placed a nervous hand on Obi-wan's shoulder.

“Leia, Ben and I…” you swallowed nervously, this was harder than you thought it would be, Leia watched you with big eyes as you sucked in a deep breath.

“We’re going to go after Vader, but you're going to stay here.”

Leia's eyes grew wide and she shook her head in protest.

“No! No way! You can’t just leave me here!” she shouted.

“We’re the ones Vader wants. If we go he will follow.” Obi-wan explained gently.

“No, I'm not letting you!”

“Leia, please.” you begged.

Everyone was looking now, worry and fear as they heard what the two of you were planning to do. The woman who Leia was talking to moments ago now stood up and looked at you and Obi-wan confused.

“Wait, what happened to all of us staying together?!”

Another explosion went off, making you run a frustrated hand over your face before you looked at her with an exasperated look.

“Roken needs more time to fix the ship, this will give him that time!” you sighed, clasping your hands together like you were begging. “You have spent ten years protecting the Jedi, this is our chance to return the favor.”

“But we're so close!” Roken argued.

“Roken, you know this plan makes sense!” you replied grimly.

“No, we need you!” Sully now chimed in.

“It’ll buy you the time you need! You must get these people out of here, you are all the future!” Obi-wan exclaimed looking down at Leia. “You are the future! You're what's needed to survive.”

Leia looked away from his piercing gaze, you could've sworn you saw her eyes watering with tears but before you could get a decent look at her she turned around and ran away.

“No!” she shouted and ran around the corner.

“Leia!” you went to go after her but Haja intercepted and placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you.

“She needs to be given space.” Haja suggested.

“You must promise us that you'll get her home, Haja.” Obi-wan begged. “As soon as we’re in the clear.”

Haja’s gaze flickered between yours and Obi-wan's faces, and it was the most serious you've ever seen the man in the short time you knew him.

“You have my word,” he promised. “Although, I know the words of a liar and a fake jedi may not mean much to you.”

“It means everything to us,” You placed a hand on his chest and you watched as Haja’s face softened at your words. 

“Go get your things, I'll go talk to Leia.”

🖾

You were putting medical supplies in your bag when Roken walked in, holding something brown in his hands as he walked up to you and Obi-wan. There were no words spoken as he handed Obi-wan the object he was holding, once you could see the line of dashes you sniffled and gently ran your hands over the holster Tala had used in her final moments. The leather wasn't too damaged, just some scuff marks and scratches that could be repaired. You glanced up at Roken and mouthed a silent thank you, not wanting to break the moment of silence for the person you all lost. Roken pursed his lips in acknowledgment before he left the two of you alone.

Looking back down at the holster you sighed, you don't have a blaster anymore and quite frankly didn't like using one but you didn't want it to go to waste if you had brought it with you and ended up dying tonight if things went the worst way possible.

“Can you teach me how to shoot?” Leia's question to Tala coming back from the depths of your memory.

“I think we should go talk to Leia now.” you whispered looking up at Obi-wan

“I agree.”

It didn't take too long to find Leia, a perk for the smaller ship you were thankful for since there weren't many places for her to hide which led you to find her in a corner with Haja kneeling in front of her, whispering in her ear while Leia looked down at her lap. You grabbed Obi-wan's hand and placed Tala’s holester in it.

“I think you should give it to her.”  Obi-wan looked slightly surprised but he clutched it tight in his hand, a silent gesture that showed you he was thankful for the opportunity. Haja heard you talking and said one more thing before he stood up and left the three of you alone.

“Thank you Haja.” you said gratefully as he walked out.

You and Obi-wan walked slowly to Leia, who stubbornly kept her gaze on the floor as she refused to even look at the both of you.

“You said you'd take me home.” she said, bitterly.

“I wish that we could, Leia.” Obi-wan said regretfully. “Really I do.”

Obi-wan thought for a moment before he spoke again.

“Please tell your father we tried.”

Obi-wan kneeled on the ground and held out Talas' holster, handing it to Leia. she ran her small hands over the material slowly.

“Roken found it before we got out, she would have wanted you to have it.”

“It's empty.” she observed and you held back the urge to laugh as Obi-wan rolled his eyes.

“Well, I wasn't gonna give you a blaster, Leia. you're ten years old.”

He sighed.

“But you won't always be.”

You kneeled down next to Obi-wan and put your hand on Leia's leg and squeezed it gently to grab her attention. When she finally looked up at you, and you ignored the slight sting behind your eyes as you stared at her. The reality of leaving her alone and this being possibly the last time you saw your niece crashing down at you at once. Your mouth opening and closing repeatedly trying to find the words to explain what you wanted to say to her but your mind came up short. You stopped trying to talk when she jumped down from where she was sitting and came to hug you, freezing for a moment before you melted into the touch and wrapping your arms around her small frame tightly, your cheek resting on the top of her head as you sighed.

You wanted to remember every feeling of this hug, just in case it was your last. After a few more moments you forced yourself to pull away from her strong grip, and kissed her forehead.

You watched bittersweetly as she jumped into Obi-wan's arms next, his arms wound tight around her just like you did moments ago and closed his eyes for a second. When she pulled away from him she looked at both of you with pleading eyes.

“Come back…Please.” she whispered.

You and Obi-wan hesitated, it was unfair of you to promise something like that when you were so unsure on how this was going to play out, you didn't want to give her false hope.

But you couldn't say no to her, no matter how hard you tried.

“I promise.” You and Obi-wan said together.

You prayed desperately you would be able to keep that promise.

🖾

You and Obi-wan split off from each other, going to one side of the medium sized hangar below the ship as Roken prepared the dropship. You wanted to meditate to clear your mind before you left while Obi-wan attempted to speak to Qui-jon. 

Obi-wan was prepared to die if it came to it, giving his life to fix a wrong he had a part in to do what he could to fix a trail of death and destruction that has been carved in the large expanse of the galaxy over the last ten years. However, you were not prepared to lose Obi-wan or die at the hands of someone you knew long ago. No, not at all.

You were terrified.

You never questioned the Jedi when you were in the temple. the training, the robes, the almost dehumanizing set of rules in place that have been embroidered so deeply into you it could've been visible on your skin. You always believed you were the one that needed to change, the Jedi had this practice in place because they were good and if you messed up then you deserved punishment from the council themselves, and you as well as Obi-wan stood by as they broke Anakin down and manipulated him as they told him the same rhetoric they told you and Obi-wan and hundreds before you. 

Flashes of memories came to mind as you stood in the hangar of the ship, chances to make a difference, to stand up for a kid who was claimed to be the chosen one but was never given any choices of his own. A basic human right stripped away in the name of protecting peace and bringing balance to the force.

Anakin, Obi-wan, as well as yourself lost a freedom you never got to experience due to the jedi order, and even when it crumbled to the ground like a pile of sand facing a gust of wind the reprecisions of the choices you've made and the jedi order played a direct hand into giving the galactic empire its power which led you hiding away for ten years as you were hunted down for something you didn't ask to be apart of. The fear of being found and the unhealed trauma you and Obi-wan experienced held you back from truly living for yourselves and for each other.

You wanted to live in peace with him. You wanted to love Obi-wan to the point he would feel suffocated in the best way possible, to kiss him, to hug him, to bicker, to give him a part of you no one else would receive and vice versa.

You wanted to heal.

And now that the chance to do any of those things were at stake and you were scared for what is going to come next, scared to face the result of many regrets.

“You okay?”

You turned around and saw Roken, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. Nodding as you pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes as if you could force the tears back into your tear ducts, clearing your throat you looked back at him.

“Yeah, I will be.” a lie filled with hope slipped out. “The dropship ready?”

Roken nodded.

“I'm about to let Obi-wan know, figured I'd grab you first.”

“Lead the way then.” 

You followed Roken to the otherside of the hangar where Obi-wan was in silence, hoping once you saw him his presence would calm you down enough for you to be able to support Obi-wan in any way he needed.

He was sitting on a supply crate, holding his lightsaber in his hands as he inspected it with unease, Most likely trapped in his own thoughts just as you were moments ago.

“Are you ready?” Roken asked him as you walked over to him, your body gravitating to his side like an unknown force was pulling you. “The dropships ready.” Obi-wan stood up, clipping his lightsaber to his belt.

“You don't have to do this, you know.” Roken said, giving one more shot at convincing the two of you to stay. “We can still fix the drive!”

“I have to go.” Obi-wan said.

Roken shook his head and stared at him for a moment.

“It's not about us, is it?” he asked. “You want to do it, it's about you and him.”

A larger explosion shook the ship hard, making you grab Obi-wan's shoulder to balance, you looked at Roken with pleading eyes.

“Keep them safe.” 

“Keep yourselves safe too.”

“Roken,” Obi-wan called out. “There are not many leaders left, but people follow you…don't stop.”

Roken smirked and shook his head.

“I'm just getting started.”

  🖾

Obi-wan set a path to the nearest planet in the outer rim, not wanting to risk going back to Jabiim where the possibility of imperials were still there. Even now he expertly avoided the shots aimed at your ship, dogging and rolling with ease. You watched out the window as the large imperial ship stopped following Rokens transport.

“Entering the atmosphere.” Obi-wan said.

Your hands curled around the armrests of the co-pilot's chair as the ship rattled roughly as you approached the planet. The next minute of rough turbulence made you hold your breath before it smoothed out and you could make out the terrain of the planet below you. The sky held a dark bluish tint above you with murky gray clouds casted out making it darker than it already was, all around were pillars of rocks tall enough they reminded you of the tall buildings of Coruscant.

Obi-wan landed the ship in a small circle of clear land and powered down the ship, his fingers moving quickly across the control pad turning off the engine. You unbuckle your seatbelt and stand up and look over your shoulder at Obi-wan. He stood up and shrugged off his robe, a loud chirping noise came from his pocket as he pulled out the object and held it up to his face.

Lola beeped excitedly at him and you and Obi-wan looked up at each other and smiled, of course Leia would find a way to comfort you both even without her being present. Obi-wan handled the small droid with care and gently placed her on the dashboard, placed his robe on the pilot's chair, and took a calming breath and opened the door.

“Obi-wan.” you called out quickly, he turned to look at you with concern. “I love you.”

You watched his face soften and he reached his hand out and rested it on your cheek.

“I love you too, starlight.” 

Nothing else had to be said, you will be happy if your final words to him were those.

A warm breeze hit your skin as the hatch door lowered, your eyes held a hard gaze at the tall rocks surrounding you as you focused your mind on the target of the soon to be fight and not your emotions. It didn’t matter if it was Anakin or Vader, only one side will make it off this planet tonight.

And you will fight until there is nothing left to ensure it was the two of you.

But you could still feel the anger, fear, and sorrow building inside of you. The control of your darkest emotions had lessened greatly since the fight on mapuzo and the fear of slipping even deeper scared you. 

You weren't sure if you could stay in the light and fight Anakin at the same time.

Reaching for Obi-wan’s hand you gripped it tightly, the force of it making him look over at you in worry. He squeezed back with even more force than you did and for a moment everything else drained away.

Then you saw a ship enter the atmosphere and you were dragged back to reality.

Sucking in a deep breath you allowed Obi-wan to drop your hand as the two of you walked down the ramp and far away from the ship to prevent any potential damage. Your boots crunched loudly on the rocky terrain below you as a cold wind swept up your gray vest. You watched in silence as his ship grew closer and closer until it landed in front of you. 

The hatch to Anakins ship opened and your hand went to the hilt of your lightsaber as a cacophony of modulated breathing filled the air as he descended down the ramp, a silhouette of black slowly coming toward you like a reaper.

Planting your feet firmly in the ground, you rolled your shoulders, hoping your  false confident stance will turn into real confidence. Your eyes flickered to Obi-wan, his blue orbs looking like a stormy gray under the dark sky as you watched his jaw tighten under the weight of his teeth as Anakin began coming towards you. You gripped your lightsaber hard enough you felt the stinging bite of the groves in the metal go into the skin of your hand as the man in black stopped a mere couple feet in front of you. 

“Have you come to destroy me Obi-wan?

The blue light from Obi-wan's saber then quickly illuminated the air around you a rich blue as  Obi-wan raised his arm in position.

“I will do what I must.”

“Then you will die!” Anakin's modulated voice bellowed as the crimson red light from his lightsaber  tainted the air around you, as he moved quickly to jam his blade into Obi-wan's jugular. You parried the blow and swung up from under and knocked your saber against his and rolled to avoid Obi-wan's strike the kickup of dust getting in your eyes as you stood and spun your saber in your hands before changing your grip to stab him in the back, the heat of your blade burned a hole into his cape before Anakin sidestepped away from you and grabbed the back of Obi-wan's neck, lighting him off the ground before throwing him at your feet. 

Obi-wan recovered swiftly and rolled onto his feet and yanked you behind him  and blocked the attack as he went for both of your heads.

You and Obi-wan knew how Anakin fought and he knew how the both of you fought which created a repetitive game of attacks that forced the three of your further into the rocky terrain of pillars and gravel below your boots leaving you unsteady as lightsaber created a rainfall of sparks as the grinding of mineral surrounding you as Obi-wan shoved Anakin back until Obi-wan raised his hand and used the force to try to throw a rock down on Anakin's head. 

Anakin easily caught the rock's weight as the two fought for control before he forced pushed the rock over your heads making shatter on impact once it landed on the ground.

“Your strength has returned.” Anakin mocked before his helmet turned to you. “But the weakness remains!” he shouted before picking up a boulder and throwing it at you, you sliced through the rock and covered your head as the pieces landed behind you.

You watched as Anakin slammed his forearm into Obi-wan's nose and the loud crack that followed, the quick blight of pain allowed him to  sweep rocks under Obi-wan making him land on his back. You ran for but went stiff as he used one hand to keep you back as Obi-wan scrambled to get footing Anakin slammed his other hand on the ground, quickly quaking and cracking before a sinkhole formed, swallowing Obi-wan.

“That is why you'll always lose!”

“No!” you screamed.

You watched in horror as boulder after boulder was thrown in after Obi-wan until the sound of his screams were buried under the rocks.  Suddenly you felt your legs get pulled to the ground and your back hit the gravel beneath you as he began to drag you with the force. Shards of rock and dirt tore the fabric of your tunic and went into your back as you dug your nails into the solid earth below you to hold yourself back.

Once you were at Anakin's feet you felt the tip of his boot slam into your stomach, you gagged at the force of air leaving you as dark spots filled your vision. You didn't have time to think before you were dragged up  a rock and shoved against it, your skull bouncing off the hard matter as you and Anakin's helmet were just a few mere inches apart.

“Did you truly think you two could defeat me?” the modulated voice hissed with detest.

You gasped and struggled in the tight grasp of his robotic hand, the warmth of blood ran down the back of your neck. 

“You have failed.” he pointed out

Adrenaline was the only thing keeping you moving, the wheeze’s from your throat loud as the pressure around your throat grew. 

“I have seen your potential, Y/n” He said. “Join me and you will no longer be a failure to people. You can be powerful and feared.”

You let out a weak laugh and shook your head.

“I would much rather be a failure trying to do the right thing than to be feared by doing something wrong.” you choked out.

Lifting your leg as high as you could, you planted your foot on the chest plate of the suit and pushed him back causing him to stumble and lose his grip on you, you fell to your feet. 

It's been too long since you had to actually calculate and analyze someone in combat and it showed. You were reacting and not thinking through your next moves. If Master Stass had seen it you would have been ripped a new one.

“Focus Y/N, what is his weakness?” you asked yourself. Stumbling forward you truly looked at Vader for the first time, not as the man you once knew but who he was now.

And he was Large

That meant he was slow, his prosthetic limbs also didn't help with that either. All you had to do was be quicker and be relentless,  give him no room to breathe let alone react.

Grabbing your lightsaber you began to sprint, pumping your legs as fast as they could go you jumped and landed on Vader's back. You slammed the hilt of your lightsaber over and over into his helmet. Forcing your anger and sorrow into every hit and not stopping when you heard a crack. 

Vader's gloved hand reached up and yanked you over his shoulders by your wrist and threw you into the ground below. You activated your lightsaber and slashed at a boulder, and quickly used the force to slam it into his chest making him stumble back. Shooting your hand out, you force pulled him back to you and spun your saber and shoved the hilt into the underside of his jaw, Vader grunted in pain as you slammed your boot into his stomach.

You were enjoying it, your anger growing and fueling your muscles to slam hit after hit into him and you grinned when you were able to slash a cut across his armored chest. It was service level but the heat from it alone had to burn the already charred flesh underneath.

But Vader grew tired of your attacks and was able to grab ahold of the nape of your neck he pushed you face first into one of the large boulders and then hauled you backwards before he shoved you forward again. You face smacking the rocks until you hear a crack in your nose.

You let out a pained shout and when he went to smack you into the rock a third time the ground below began to rumble and shift beneath you. 

The ground crumbled as an explosion of rocks exploded from the ground revealing Obi-wan climbing out of the hole he was buried in and going straight to Anakin. Taking advantage of Obi-wan reemergence you swung up and slammed your fist into his throat.  Anakin choked for a moment before he refocused on Obi-wan, His lightsaber lighting up the determined look on his face as he slashed his weapon at his former best friend, you watched in amazement as Obi-wan maneuvered quickly around Anakin and parried every attack sent down on him. The clashes of light turned the air around them a bright purple luminating the fight better than the natural glum sky above them ever could.

Obi-wan forced pushed Anakin into a rock a few feet away and you flinched at the pained shout he let out as he fell to his knees. Obi-wan raised his arms above his head and rocks lifted in the air and began to plummet them at him. Anakin slowly worked himself up from the constant blows and threw himself at Obi-wan, tackling him to the ground. 

You ignored the rubble that was embedded into the skin of your back and  sprinted towards the two of them, the limp in your step slowing you down more than you wanted to admit as you made your way to Obi-wan who recovered quickly from his fall and was standing again. His gaze shifted to you for a moment, eyes wide in adrenaline and Anakin followed his gaze that soon landed on you. Flinching when he raised his hand to use the force you waited for the pressure around your throat, you were too tired and too injured to focus on putting up a mental block from him but the crushing pain never came.

Opening your eyes you saw Obi-wan interlinked their hands and was shoving the hilt of his lightsaber into the box that rested on Anakin's chest repeatedly.You heard Anakin's desperate wheezes as he tired to fight back but more and more sparks shot out as  he rammed it harder and harder into his chest before force pushing him backwards and using a bolder to knock him down on his knees, Obi-wan panted before he sprinted and sliced his helmet. The metal burned orange near his head as Anakin kneeled to the ground, Obi-wan stumbled back away from him. Sweat and blood dried to his skin and beard. 

Where Obi-wan saw the moment to stop you couldn't, you could end this nightmare right here and the bloodshed would be over.

You reached your hand toward Obi-wans and force pulled his lightsaber out of his hands and into yours, Obi-wan snapped his head towards you as you walked right up to Anakin's kneeling form, his head was tilted down so you couldn't see his face. 

Your chest heaved as you held both lightsabers in front of his neck, the blades crossed over each other.

One move, and he would be dead.

“Y/n!” Obi-wan warned, but despite knowing you should listen to your husband you couldn't bring yourself to care.

“Was it worth it?” you seethed. “Losing everyone you loved, everything you were, for this?”

Anakin just wheezed.

The lack of response had you kick him, the force of him bringing him closer to the ground as his wheezing grew louder. You felt like you couldn't breathe, the pain was beginning to choke you and you blinked back tears and out of the corner of your eye you could see his lightsaber a couple feet away from him and you blinked.

He was unarmed.

Suddenly it was like your consciousness had gained the reins of your mind again and you realized what you were doing. 

“There's still good in him.”

You've lost too much thanks to Anakin. Your freedom, your friends, your family, and your home.

You refused to lose yourself to him as well.

Deactivating the light sabers, you looked over at Obi-wan with tears in your eyes as he stepped forward and pulled you away from his former Padawan and took back his lightsaber from your shaking hands.

Then Anakin began to laugh, weak and almost breathless as he kept his head hung low.

Until he looked up at the both of you.

“Weak and pathetic.” he seethed. “Coward!”

You and Obi-wan watched in horror as half of his charred face came into the light, burned to the point his skin looked like leather leaving him almost unrecognizable. 

Obi-wan lowered his lightsaber in shock at the state of his former brother.

“Anakin” Obi-wan called out softly.

You watched as Anakin stood up and you froze as bright yellow eyes burned into you like the fires on Mustafar.

You couldn't believe those eyes are the same one that held childlike wonder the first time he saw rain.

“Anakin is gone.” he said, his voice distorted from the modulator being damaged. “I am what remains.”

You watched Obi-wans teared up and let out a shaky sigh, his face crumbling in guilt.

“I'm sorry, Anakin.” Obi-wan cried. “For all of it.”

“I am not your failure Obi-wan.” Anakin said. “You didn't kill Anakin Skywalker.”

A twisted grin pulled at the burnt skin of Anakin's cheeks.

“I did. The same way I will destroy you and her.” he spat.

You ignored the tears that burned at your eyes, threatening to fall as Obi-wan shook his head.

“Then our friend is truly dead.”

You watched the man in front of you sway as he held his lightsaber, ready to fight again.

Obi-wan put away his lightsaber and you quickly follow suit, this fight was over. And the truth was the man in front of them both now was someone who deserved to die but despite everything you or Obi-wan couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You bit the inside of your cheek  as you looked at the man who used to be Anakin Skywalker, the little boy you held at night, helped train, cooked for, and loved like he was your own blood. 

That little boy was gone and what remained in front of you was a stranger you resented.

 “Goodbye…Darth.” Obi-wan said before he turned and looked at you and without a single word he put your shoulder around him and supported your weight as you both walked away together.

Beaten, bloody, and exhausted.

Together.

Taglist:

@luna-writes-stuff

@graciexmarvel

@ginger-swag-rapunzel

@padsfirewhisky

@howtobeamoth

@viviandarko

@thegirlwith-curlyhair

@mrcaptainrex

@mysun-n-stars

@carpeanxiety-blog

[mynameismisty]

Could you do dating headcannons for Kenshi by any chance?

DATING KENSHI TAKAHASHI| HEADCANONS

☆WARNINGS: none i was too lazy to do an nsfw part LOL

☆SUMMARY: basically the name

☆A/N: thanks anon, ive been waiting for a kenshi request!!!

☆SIDENOTE: i love the ideas you guys have for asks! Feel free to request anytime you like

Before the incident with Mileena, Kenshi was really kind of distant at first with you.

He saw you at a nightclub from ths VIP area, getting clearly uncomfortable with the guy you were with.

Kenshi was a Yakuza member but he wouldn't let this slide. So he stood up, grabbed his Katana and approached the guy that was pestering you. "Is there a problem here?" Kenshi asked. Practically looking like he was about to start crying, the guy shook his head, apologized to you and ran away.

You were scared at first of Kenshi too, I mean, who wouldn't be? A Yakuza member really just came up and defended you. They must want something, right?

But what Kenshi really wanted was to just talk with someone. And that, both of you did. Laughter, giggles and smiles fluttered between you two.

He decided to take the cab with you home so that you could be safe, and exchanged numbers with you.

From then on, he was texting you and you texted him back. And this went on for about 6 months, you'd mert him sometimes, he'd hang out and all that. Flirting seemed to be a way to hang out with you two, until he texted you one day. Telling you to go to the same nightclub you both first met at.

There he confessed what he felt and how he felt it.

The night ended with you jumping in his arms and kissing almost every part of his face and holding his hand on the way home.

(ok i just wanted a back story before the headcanons LOL)

The first few months that you two dated he was scared you'd leave him because of his past as well, you know

He definitely would be alot more distant when you both start dating and only warm up a bit more after a month and half or so

Was aslo insecure about his tattoos because he thought it was a reminder from his past

Would take you out on simple dates like ice cream, movies, cafes, etc etc

BIG SPOON NO QUESTIONS ASKED

He does love hugging you from the back

More or so clingy when both of you are behind close doors

You asked him to teach you how to wield a Katana

You failed miserably and it ended up with you on the couch with him cleaning out your wounds and scolding you for not being careful

You started giggling though and he wondered why

"What's so funny about almost getting stabbed through the chest?"

"Nothing it's just...I like how you care for me."

There was a moment of silence before Kenshi covered your wound with a bandaid

"I like how you care for me too." He said silently.

And you smiled

Definitely after becoming blind he was even more insecure

He really didnt like taking off his blindfold infront of you

After he got the courage and your assurance that he can take it off he almost felt like crying after you felt his face with your hands and simply just kiss his nose bridge in between his eyes

(Can he cry though? How????)

IS A GOOD DANCER

IDK HE JUST IS

Like i know my man can slow dance with you and hed love how you giggle

Definitely loves bombarding you with small gifts

Loves when he wakes up earlier than you because he simply just traces his fingers over your face

love love LOVES when you pepper his face with kisses

After the katana incident he might be willing to train you again, depends

Is a great cook

Will cook if you ask him to

Can somehow cook like amazingly???

Tell this man you want a dish hes never heard of before and he somehow manages to cook it AMZAINGLY

WOULD GET MATCHING TATTOOS WITH YOU

Because like whats another tattoo to him

Definitely has a little tattoo of your initials on his wrist

Loves to borrow things of yours like hairclips, rings, bracelets when he leaves for a mission that he knows would take him a few days

You always wondered why

"Why do you keep taking my stuff, Kenshi?" You asked, rolling your eyes with a chuckle

"It's a promise that I won't leave you."

"How so?" You ask curiosly, tilting your head

"Because you'll know I always come back when I return it." Kenshi said, in which he gave a small smile, walked towards you and pecked a kiss on your lips

Needless to say you were really pink after..

[acaciapines]

taking the initative - how does having a daemon work for Hunter? given, you know, everything about grimwalkers. I'm also super interested in how you worked out the Azura series!

he he :333 i'll put this under a cut since hunters Deal is a pretty big thing we unpack over the course of the daemon au so. technically spoilers!! if you wanna wait a year til it comes out or somehow came across this while i was posting the fic.

anyways! so hunter is a freak of nature (affectionate) even by grimwalker standards njgdfg. but before we get into that i gotta do some ~term definition~ cause both daemons and palismen exist in this world and its important you know what i mean when i use em!

daemon: we know them. we love them. what you think of when i say 'daemon au.' creatures made entirely of dust that are the other half of a human, who can change shape up until they settle (around 12 years of age), and have a set range based on their form of how far they can go from said human, with most being between like 10-20 feet. daemons are born when their human is like, 6 months to a year old, slowly forming until they've got enough dust to take their first form.

palismen: the other half of a witch. palismen are born with their witches at palistrom trees--pregnant witches seek out a palistrom tree thats calling to baby and give birth there, and when the witch-baby is born a part of the palistrom tree will break off (usually leaves, twigs, branches, in the past berries + flowers) and become their palisman. palismen can change form up until a witch settles (typically upon joining a coven at 18), and until they settle have no set range--witch and palisman can go as far from each other as they want.

anyways with THAT out of the way, for all intents and purposes golden guards, seeing as they're all grimwalkers of a human, work on the human-side of things. but hunter and fidelity/flapjack (will be using flapjack for clarity's sake going forwards) use witch and palisman respectively since that's the world they grew up in lol.

all living creatures have some sort of connection to dust. for humans this is daemons, for witch palismen, demons have a variety of ways (some have flowers, some are connected to specific places, ex. hooty to the owl house, etc). so, every single living thing is in some way connected to the world around it. this includes hunter!

so, for most of the grimwalkers, they were made of caleb's bones. so, they were pulled out of the ground, and when they were their daemons formed--since grimwalkers Grow underground for a while their dust has the time to build up into their daemon. but see. belos might have made a little mistake in how often he murdered grimwalkers cause come hunter's time and he might. just a little bit. be out of caleb bones. whoopsie! but, you know, he does have some of caleb's daemon's dust, left. that's the same as bone, right?

and thus we get hunter and flapjack. flapjack is the grimwalker--her ortet was the dust of fidelity, caleb's daemon, and so she's dragged out of the ground as a wolfhound, the same form fidelity settled as. flapjack is entirely flesh and blood and has no ability to change. she is, technically, the witch.

but hunter.

needless to say belos was not expecting a weird little witch-baby, that's for certain!

now of course flapjack and hunter do Not know any of this at the start lol, and there's a bit more to it than this (hunter doesnt know he can change form! hmm, i wonder why....), but i need to keep some of my secrets.

as for azura! its not entirely worked out yet (i did just come up with the idea like, a few days ago so ive got some stuff to add in the edits), but the general idea of it is that when luz's dad was dying he very much left her the azura books on purpose. luz and mari have always very obviously stood out from their peers (its the neruodivergency) and as they approached 12 and still weren't settled, and as mari more often than not spoke for luz which is a HUGE no-no (daemons, after all, arent supposed to speak....)

yeah so camila + manny were terrified for her lol. thus azura! in my mind the azura books are very interested in taking the term witch--in my human world sort of the common word for what is medicalized as 'bond disorders,' ie, someone who doesnt settle by 12-13, someone who doesnt WANT to settle, a daemon who speaks when they should have grown out of this--and saying, hey, guys, uh, what the fuck?

so, azura is a witch! i imagine like witches of legend azura (in my eyes being the daemon's name, not that i know what the human would be named lol) wouldn't have a range, and would be various bird-forms. it explores ideas of teenagers not settling, and struggling to figure out who you are when 'who you are' is a thing you do not get to change, and people who do settle do so as daemon-forms that are ALSO medicalized (think, fish. which is the daemon luz's dad had! not sure what fish yet, but he had a fish :D)

basically: I Have A Lot Of Thoughts. Ha. Ha. hope you enjoyed them!

[carvinglittleholes]

LYFE UPDATEE because I feel like coming back to tumbly today and ive been slowly feeling like myself again. I've been struggling with irl stuff like. with my brothers side of the family being very insensitive abt mental shit. but I went to my old house again and after stepping into my destroyed childhood home soaked in piss and mildew and torn into punch holes I just felt like I could say bye to it, finally, I can never go back to what it used to be so I can't miss it anymore. and I've been having so many dreams about my dad. I had a dream he shot himself in the face and I actually felt relief, when I woke up everything was strange again and I felt guilty for feeling relieved. each change of my perspective equals a change in my world and I wonder what emotions and sensations actually hold weight when with the slight of a hand it all goes away, be it positively or negatively. I told my former therapist that the world would reset every month and I didn't know why!!! and she said is it the world or just your perspective??? and in my head I say what's the difference... there are 7 billion worlds viewed through 7 billion perspectives, my world is different than yours and your world is different than mine, reality is a vr game, every time I play a vr game at someone's house I throw the remote lelelel fr I get too immersed... but anyway I have been getting back in touch with my interests, seeing megadeth did something to me im not even kidding, I limped back to the car before their encore but if I had left even a few seconds later I would have thrown up all over somebody. I dunno. It felt like some religious experience that pulled a piece of me from my brain I'd buried and forgotten about. my body did everything in its power to throw itself towards wherever the music was coming from, my hands were shaking, the rhythm of each song had been written into my dna and came through as an animalistic instinct to fucking thrash. now that I have a taste I want to go to moooore concerts mwahagahaha..... I've never headbanged myself sick before... im too broke to see korn, the megadeth tickets were won from a raffle so I just had to pay for water, maybe I'll get a job as a security guard for the pit and be forced to retire at 35 with complete hearing loss and 4 missing ribs and a fulfilled musical spirit. went to the doctor and im healthy but the only thing I am working on is my weight, and I am actually learning the ways of moderation without feeling like I have to starve or puke or overexercise or binge or any of the shit I used to obsess over. It's a part of my life instead of ruling my entire existence... I found that I'm enjoying coding, surprise surprise focking NERDDD (this guy has tried and failed at making visual novels and websites for 6 years dont listen to what he has to say about coding) I've improved at it over time imo but im just doing it for fun and to pass time and make something that looks cool 2 me. I've been pretty depressed the past month or so however long its been i dunno, but my spirits have been slowly raising, it's just another cycle for me to pass through and emerge from, i will enter a new phase or obsession or emotion soon, be it one im grateful for or one that i fight kicking and screaming. this was all of the positive or at least semi-positive shit that's happened recently, gonna take a shower now gonna ponder upon the beauty of life now gonna twerk it now #daveforpresident

[onlineproblems]

the goings-on

my brother has to have aortic valve replacement surgery within the year, which is hella expensive and particularly dangerous for him as he already has a condition that could cause a brain bleed if there's a negative interaction from a prosthetic valve. regardless of what solution they come to, it's going to be hella expensive. he's in his 20s and in my parents' care full-time.

m starts a new job in a week, after his previous company went belly-up. i myself am getting a new boss since my current boss is moving to a different department, and it is not the person i hoped for. this is disappointing. but i will cope.

mom changed her relationship status on facebook, so evidently she's serious with this guy. I'm sure this is wreaking havoc on my dad's psyche. i don't particularly care that she's dating someone, but the whole divorce drama has been so annoying and she's so annoying and every reminder is jarring to my otherwise relatively peaceful existence.

i have like 6 months of medication left if i keep to the minimum dose (ive been taking 1/2 the starting dose actually), but i really really hope i can get my neuro to try to authorize a refill before then. insurance has been playing tag with me for months and it fucking suuuuucks. i'm almost not disabled when im on the normal dosage, and its been hard to adjust back to being....well, disabled. having to be super-conscious of what i eat and do, struggling with things that haven't been a struggle for years. like not since college.

Things are not bad, but they could be better.

I'm enjoying my creative outlets and find myself easily putting aside screen-centered activities in favor of reading, writing, drawing, being outside, hanging out and talking with people. I think my anxiety and ADHD treatments are finally at an optimal place.

Making friends has been hard, but in the past year I've put effort in and it's paying off. All the weirdness and awkwardness at the beginning fades away and you fall into a natural rhythm. I wouldn't say I have *close* friends among them yet, but they're good friends. And that's a huge change from a couple years ago when I had like two or three people to occasionally talk to.

I'm more confident, more assured in my capabilities, less concerned with my so-called shortcomings, and happier in general. I am better at establishing boundaries (though I can always improve). I nurture the relationships that nurture me.

My goals include taking random classes on whatever interests me, learning basic first aid, how to fix common car problems, and deal with household maintenance like fixing simple utilities, repairs, etc. I want to get out of my comfort zone more and interact with people I'm not familiar with. A different culture, a different perspective, different interests. I'd love to have someone to practice German with. It's not motivating to learn it alone.

Okay, that's all.

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Friday, November 11th, 2005 12:35 pm i won't tell a soul if you dont want me to. hearts between our knees sticking to summer sheets. Saturday, November 5th, 2005 4:59 pm keep me fast the way he runs his mouth its a wonder that i havent caught a flight home just for a second alone the way he runs my mouth makes me hate you just as much as him thank god i spend most of the daylight dreaming in wine colored beads the sun never caught me right when i was little i splash water on my face in sinks in green rooms like pinching yourself or trying to wash the miles off down a dark hotel hallway the finger prints in pink and blue like skin and veins i try to jump from the doorway to the bed so i dont leave footprints so i dont disturb the carpet like sand you want shyer eyes you want bigger "im sorry"s and regrets for things that i.Yo.u. did you want survivors in the wreckage you want flashlights in the cave you want second chances for second chances i loved everything about you that hurts your scars, your flaws, your not so subtle attempts at wit and irony that always fell a bit short and felt forced your insincerity, your imitation that you passed off as exploration your morning smile 3 year stand (off) her breathing is shallow she shakes whenever i get near- i guess its an occupational hazard its okay we dont have to talk. youre just a body. heaven sent and percoset. even though we're fading fast.... im sorry "pretty"- you were just a canary in a coal mine. Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 7:57 pm there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how im not even too sure what goes on, especially in my own head. one second its one way and the next its another. i have a funny way of showing i care. but i do. i have to say it- halloween wasn't the same this year with out you. i i had the best time ever in southern california. but it wasn't really halloween with out you. and new years won't either. my calls go out today but they'renot picked up. i get what i get. i got some friends who are wearing their egos on their sleeves. its ok. i'll play dumb. you are a shadow of who you once were. "can we start agains" ive had my share. for the past month my mood has been however our phone calls ended. it felt like i was dying inside when i hung up the phone on you. but i have to make a point. you can only act like dirt for so long before you become it. but theres nobody like me and you. i feel like veins and ligatures when you aren't around. and breathing in isnt the same when you're not breathing out. percoset revolutionary. "look mom, no breathing". fucking fading. fucked up, but not cool fucked up. maybe we rip the map in half and someday we meet up in the middle. by accident or just because. everything and everyone ends up faced down on the floor in the end.

you are my wonderwall. Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 6:51 pm my mom said 'make sure you go to sleep smiling tonight baby cause you'll wake up feeling better" i just re-read everything you wrote over the past two months.

i miss my friends.

there is life after this. i promise myself. Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 10:51 pm everything they say about us is true im watching scary movies like every afternoon. i got some new slipper and pants. i look ridiculous. dreamboat. the inside of my head is always changing. even right this second. when i go back over all the details it makes me so glad im not in that town anymore. all of a sudden we're always in the crosshairs. it kinda feels normal now. we used to goof around about killing ourselves off. but sometimes it wasn't a joke. i can't sleep when the bus isn't moving. went to the fender offices today, they are gonna make me some basses. pretty exciting. the only thing ive ever learned is that its pretty easy to say "i love you" its alot harder to mean it. my friends are dropping like flies. everyone looks good when they are the one with their fingers on the keyboards. history is written by the conquerer. we're headlining an amphitheater tommorrow. thats retarded. fistfightking. makeoutqueen. past midnights. get amazed.

Current Music: 2sweet Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 9:42 am you see that kid... its not me, its you. blow out the candles on caring. encounters yesterday: went to paul walls jewelry shop. pretty insane. then when we played jared leto came over and watched. radio shows are wack. encounters today: the gold medal gymnast from the 2004 olympics is coming to hang out with me. pretty insane. why would you ever want to meet a boy like me. i am boring. you make it easier to make the decisions that i do. i turned off the switch that cares. i watch lots of movies and take lots of naps. cause i am a baby. i am gonna be in the academy video for black mamba. i can't tell you how excited that makes me. Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 11:48 pm ill be on time for that, i cant think of a line that rhymes with that blue looks better than jealousy. im awake but not up. you know what i mean. blew the speakers out like a candle. drowned out my sorrows in a wet dream. i miss you but only in flashing moments. new stuff over at buzznet. people been asking about the prices. honestly we charge what it costs us to make. alot of the stuff lately has been cut and sew or requires hand stitching which is expensive. so we try to keep the stuff really limited, so that it stays special. the bags sold out in a day. we won't be making anymore of that particular bag. but we will be making more limited bags and other items. Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 4:48 pm i, peter lewis kingston wentz, solemnly swear... im trying to figure it out. my head moves way faster than my mouth. i went to a party at chris from nsnyc's house for a party. it was about as good/bad as you would think. except dirty was there. so factor that one in. always up or down, never down and out.

the new nightmare of you record is fantastic. it makes me think of winters at home. love it or leave me. Sunday, October 16th, 2005 12:45 pm baby, im just bad news i don't know if it feels real been watching halloween movies lately to get me in the mood taking lots of naps its easier this way she wont ever love you the way she loves me youre not pretty enough and you dont make her heart beat been hiding messages in morse code and anagrams banging my wrist against the edge of the keyboard until it turns black and blue we're all settling all the time panic! at the disco makes me want to start this all over again coversations with you make me want it to never have begun at all nick plan and william beckett are on the list in one form or another always if you dont have your friends than you dont got shit and my friends are gold halloween is gonna be the best this year i think ive never been in california on halloween- it once was, but it hasnt been for a really long time spent most of the morning on the phone with my mommy cause she can always slow my breathing down you can get used to anything after a while even this, pete pretty boys for secret girls later skater Wednesday, October 12th, 2005 12:02 pm ill make you shake so hard you might not make it through the night new york city is fucking insane. get me. bruisa. fall makes me remember and want love.

okay okay cause i should:

1. you say crazy shit in your sleep, like about us living in old milwaukee. 2. right this second "wonderwall" sometimes star wars. 3. i dunno cherry coke flavored. 4. sugar tail, freckles in your eyes, basement windows, braces 5. new years on the windowsill. 6. uh kind of in a weird way the retriever head on the beagle body. just the nicest dog ever. 7. that one bane lyric, im pretty sure its a question. but mostly lately- what happened to my best friend?

nick york city. the clan party last night was rightious. im kinda going other places. feeling it. quit sleeping on it cause im the life. from the back of my legs to the back of my neck- im so glad there are people out there who won't let me fall off the face of the planet.

young.

panic at the disco at the knitting factory in new york tonight- 5pm. Tuesday, October 11th, 2005 12:57 am you remind me of this one movie. it makes me smile. but not with my mouth and way too many teeth. but with my eyes. trouble loves me. but you do way more. im dreaming on highway lines and phone hang-ups. just happy to be me. for one second.

i got a sweet vest and some teddy bear shoes. im good for cuddling. youre gonna have to trust me on that one.