#like he knows he has this situation handled but is still processing the bomb and it's got him rattled | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

steddieas-shegoes · 2 years ago

Note

For the requests: traumatized steve & eddie going to a wolf sanctuary and eddie watching steve basically live with the wolves in their area. And the one wolf,the one that hated everyone, the one who meaner and didn't get along with anyone to its cruel abusive situation (perhaps it was raised from puppyhood and onwards by people who used it in dogfighting, before it was rescued, that wolf, goes right up to Steve and sits by him. Giving him comfort. When Steve has bad nightmares he goes to that wolf's pen and they sleep cuddled together bc that wolf also has nightmares. (It can also be a wolfdog)

AS ALWAYS YOU COME THROUGH WITH SOMETHING FUN AND CREATIVE AND AS ALWAYS I MAKE IT EMOTIONAL AS SHIT!!! I was feelin' some type of way yesterday and started on this at peak emotional upheaval, which is really something I don't recommend. As many things tend to do, this got away from me and I think I could've still let it keep going, but I had to cut it off. Hope you love it!!! - Mickala ❤️

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It was Robin’s idea.

She knew therapy wasn’t working. She knew firsthand that the nightmares, especially Steve’s, were impossible to handle some nights.

She stayed with him enough after the Russians to know he was averaging four hours of restless sleep on a good night.

And now that he’d seen the horrors of the Upside Down, and Eddie almost dying, and Max almost dying, and the guilt of just existing, they were worse.

Eddie had them, but he was usually able to calm down relatively quickly, usually even fall back into a dreamless sleep after.

His problem was just seeing the bats everywhere, even when he was awake. A large bird would fly by and he was ducking for cover like a bomb would be dropped on him. He’d hear screeching, sometimes even just kids yelling at the park, and he’d have a panic attack.

Drastically different problems, but Robin said this could help with both of them.

So Steve and Eddie stood outside the wolf sanctuary, staring at the front office entrance where they were told to check in.

They glanced at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

It’s not that they were scared. They’d been told about the process on the phone in great detail, the sanctuary director answering all of their questions in a friendly tone.

She’d said that the wolf sanctuary had been used as a form of therapy for people for years now, though many psychiatrists didn’t consider it an appropriate treatment.

Considering Steve and Eddie had been seeing a professional psychiatrist for months now with no progress and serious weight loss and migraines from their prescriptions, they were willing to give this a fair shot.

But their fear that it wouldn’t work kept circling through their minds.

If this didn’t work, they weren’t sure what else they could possibly try.

That was terrifying.

They were supposed to stay for a month, with the option of extending the stay if they felt they needed it.

It was expensive.

But this was on the US government, and Eddie was always quick to spend their money for his benefit.

Steve was just along for the ride.

They walked in together, both nervously looking around at the chairs and desks, bookshelves, pictures of wolves and mountains on the walls, and one small, gray-haired woman at the front desk.

“Oh, aren’t you two precious! Which one’s Steve and which one’s Eddie?”

“I’m Steve,” Eddie smirked as he held out his hand.

Steve smacked his arm.

“He’s Eddie, and he’s probably gonna be this way the whole time. Sorry in advance,” Steve told the woman.

“This is wonderful! You’ll be fun to have around. I’m Fran, I run the front office. I spoke to you the other day on the phone a bit about the check in. Are you boys ready?”

They both nodded.

She clapped her hands together in excitement.

Steve could tell Eddie loved her. She was full of theatrics like he was, every word punctuated by an exaggerated movement.

“First, the boring part. We did some of the first part over the phone, but these packets need to be filled out completely and given back to me. You can have a seat anywhere to do those. When that’s done, I’ll show you where to bring your bags so you can unpack and get comfortable. We can do a tour before dinner.”

She placed the packets on the desk in front of her, then took two pens out of a mug and placed them down too.

“If you have any questions, let me know. You two are just the cutest!”

She walked through a small doorway a few feet behind her desk and they grabbed the packets to start filling them out.

The first page was basic personal information, which had been filled out already. The second page was emergency contact information and how they were referred. But the third page is where it got difficult.

It has questions like “What is your worst memory?” and “Who is the person you would most expect to protect you in a life or death situation? Why?”

And while Eddie and Steve could probably answer those easily from terrible experiences, there was a lot they weren’t allowed to say.

So they just stuck with the official government stories for any and all Upside Down related parts, which was most of them.

Fran bustled back in, two steaming mugs in her hands. She set them on her desk carefully and then walked over to where Eddie was sitting.

“How’s it going?”

“Good. Almost done,” he smiled up at her.

“And you, dear?” She asked Steve.

“Good. I’m sorry I write kind of slow.”

Steve’s face was red, like he was embarrassed. Eddie watched as he focused on the paper in front of him, his hand moving slowly across the paper.

Steve’s concussions had a lot of lasting effects; migraines and one ear that was barely working, the occasional speech delay, and an inconvenient struggle with writing, especially if it was answering questions about himself like this.

Eddie distracted Fran as he wrote his last answer, talking to her about her favorite part of the sanctuary and how long she’s been working here.

He handed the packet to her when he was done, glancing over at Steve to see he was just starting on the last page.

“Hey, Fran, would it be okay if you helped me get our bags from the car while Steve finishes up?”

Steve sent him a grateful smile as he continued answering the questions on the paper.

As he walked with Fran to the car, she touched his arm.

“He’s got a lot going on, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah. He’s been dealing with this a lot longer than I have,” Eddie smiled sadly at her, touching her hand to accept the comfort she was giving and give some in return. “I hope this works for both of us, but I’d be happy as long as it works for him.”

“You care a lot about him.”

It wasn’t a question, and her tone wasn’t judging, but Eddie could just tell. He should panic, he should tell her it wasn’t like that. And it wasn’t for Steve.

But he’d been hiding it for so long, and somehow successfully, he couldn’t lie to her.

“I love him. He doesn’t know how much. I did this for him, mostly. I mean I want it to help me too, but I know he wouldn’t have tried this if I didn’t come and he,” Eddie sighed. “He needs this. He can’t keep going like he has been.”

Fran pulled him into a hug and he did all he could not to start crying.

“He’s lucky to have you on his side no matter what, darling. And I’d bet anything he thinks the same of you,” she said softly.

“I don’t think it’s quite the same. He loves me like a friend, but he’s not…not like me.”

Gay. He wasn’t gay. Or even a little into men. Eddie was sure of that.

Fran pulled away and just smiled at him.

“Okay, then. Let’s get these bags inside.”

They managed to bring everything in in one trip, and by the time they made it back inside, Steve was done with his packet.

“Alright!” Fran clapped her hands together in excitement. “To your room!”

Eddie’s eyes widened.

“Room? Like, just one?”

“Yep! The other room we have for long-term residents is already taken for the next few weeks. Will that be okay?”

She was smiling innocently at Eddie, who knew she knew why he was suddenly panicking.

“That’s fine. We end up sharing a room all the time, right, Eds?” Steve asked as he grabbed his own bags from the floor.

“Uh. Yep. Totally fine.”

“Great!”

She led them out the back of the front office, down the sidewalk that led to a row of small buildings.

“This first building is storage. The next one is the short-term stays, usually people who donate frequently to keep us running, staying for a night or two to see where their money goes. This next building is for long-term stays. That’s you two. It’s split into a duplex, so you’ll have basically a studio apartment in there. Kitchen, bathroom, living area with a sectioned off area as the bedroom. You each will have a key, but keep in mind that the director also has a key for emergencies. The janitorial staff only goes if requested, so let me know if you feel it needs a sprucing up or you need new sheets or anything. Fridge is stocked and gets restocked every two weeks.” She paused as they made it to the steps to the building. “Oh! We don’t technically have a curfew for the guests. You’re adults and we trust you on your journey here. But we do ask that you try to be back no later than 11, as we often shut off many of the trail lights by midnight to ensure the animals have the closest replica of the wild as possible.”

Steve and Eddie nodded, eyes wide at all the information being thrown at them so quickly.

“Your room has a phone of course. You’re free to use as often as you’d like. Pressing 1 gets you in touch with the front office, 2 is for security, 3 is for the director’s office. I recommend calling the front office unless it’s an emergency so we can get in touch with the right people for you. After your tour, you’ll have free reign over the entire sanctuary except for anywhere marked employees and volunteers only. That’s for your safety, of course. We encourage you to be a part of some of the educational tours and seminars that we offer to the general public as well as enjoy time on your own with the wolves. Volunteers are here every day from 9 to 5, and the employees who help care for the wolves stay until 11. We have security here 24/7, but the director usually has a couple people on staff remain after regular hours in case of an animal emergency.”

This felt a little overwhelming, but he could already tell Steve was more relaxed here than he’d been anywhere else since he met him.

“I work when they need me, but my home number is by the phone in there for you just in case you need a chat. I retired a couple years ago so I spend a lot of my time at home with my dog. You’re never a bother, okay?”

They both nodded.

She hugged them both, handed them their keys, and started to walk away.

“Your tour will be in about an hour. James is running it today. You’ll love him!”

She was gone before they could even respond, so they looked back to each other and shrugged before heading inside.

The main door was unlocked, but the door inside marked with a “2” was locked. Steve unlocked it and pushed the door open.

The apartment was nice, but small, smaller than either of them had expected.

“Guess we’ll be getting pretty close for the next month, huh?” Steve joked.

Eddie’s heart was in his throat.

He could see the “bedroom” from where he stood. It was one queen sized bed. One.

“Um. Yep. Guess so. I can take the couch,” Eddie rushed out.

Steve clearly hadn’t seen the sleeping arrangement yet or he would have probably offered. He’s a self-sacrificing idiot, so Eddie had to rush to offer before he could.

“What? Why?”

Eddie gestured towards the bed.

“There’s plenty of room for both of us, dude. A month on the couch isn’t exactly gonna help with the nightmares.”

“It looks pretty cozy.”

Steve just stared at him, brows raised like Eddie was an idiot.

He was an idiot, but he didn’t need Steve thinking it.

“Eddie. Seriously. We can share a bed.”

Steve wouldn’t let him win, it’s just not who Steve was.

“Okay, okay! Let’s just unpack so we can go see some wolves or whatever.”

They unpacked in silence, Steve taking the spot closest to the door without Eddie having a choice.

Self-sacrificing idiot.

—--------------

James knocked on their door at exactly 4:00, like he’d been standing there waiting for the clock to change over from 3:59.

“Hello! I’m James. You’re Steve and Eddie?”

They all shook hands and James started explaining things quickly.

James was only a bit older than them, wearing a volunteer shirt that had seen better days, and had the energy of Dustin.

“So! I’m gonna show you the lay of the land, you can ask me questions, I can try to answer them, and then I can drop you off back here so you can eat. The first night can be a bit of an adjustment, so feel free to give me a call if you have trouble. My number is under Fran’s,” James spoke rapid-fire, but not so fast they couldn’t keep up. They were used to that, anyway.

“So to start, everything you guys really need is along this main trail.” He pointed the way they came earlier and then the other direction. “That way leads to our nutrition area for the wolves, which you are welcome to visit anytime during the day to help or feed some of the rehabilitated wolves in the building nextdoor which is the hospital. The hospital is only open to the guests staying here and employees from 12-5, just because much of the mornings are spent performing surgeries or checkups. You’re encouraged to spend time with any of the wolves there in recovery as it helps their spirits much like a person. But if you take the left at the fork in this trail, you’ll be led to other trails. The first one is the wolf enclosures, which I’m taking you to now.” He kept walking as he spoke, moving his hands constantly, big smile keeping Eddie and Steve enthralled.

“We have one specifically for the ones we’ve rescued who are still healing from injuries, and that one is off limits to everyone between dusk and dawn. Many of these wolves are relearning how to be wild and part of that is using the night to hunt. Being in their cage during those times could be dangerous. They wouldn’t necessarily eat you,” he paused to laugh. “But they may take a bite. Now! The second enclosure is where we keep Herald. You can laugh at his name.” Eddie let out a small laugh.

“Herald had a rough upbringing. He was rescued about six months ago from a traveling circus that had abused him for at least a few years. We think he’s about 5 years old, but can’t be 100% certain. He’s hesitant around all people, even the director. He can be very unpredictable, so only the director, vet, and head nutritionist are allowed in there. You’re welcome to visit from the outside anytime you’d like though! He’s shy, but it can’t hurt having people talk to him.”

James was walking pretty quickly, and if Steve wasn’t so in shape, he’d be struggling. He looked over at Eddie. Eddie was struggling a little, but didn’t want to stop or slow down.

“And the last enclosure is for the rest of the wolves. These are ones that may be reintroduced to the wild soon or who may have been rescued without injuries, but just aren’t ready to go yet. This enclosure has a few areas for public access. The first being the feeding area, the second being the petting area. The petting area is only able to be accessed when employees or volunteers are present. The third area is only for guests staying long term such as yourselves.”

James walked them through a gate off to the side of the enclosure.

“This area is my favorite in the whole sanctuary. It’s their den area. It’s not recommended to come alone, and you should always go to the petting area to meet them first, but this area is nice for anyone who wants to feel like a part of the pack.”

“We can go in there?”

“Again, it’s definitely recommended to meet the wolves in the petting area first, maybe feed them a few times to show them you’re a friend, but yes.”

“Huh.”

Eddie watched Steve’s reaction.

This was much more involved than they expected to be.

“So that’s the enclosures! The next part of this trail leads to a walking and biking trail that is a great way to see some nature without having to leave the area. It’s snake season, though, so make sure you know your snake safety beforehand and bring the provided whistle with you in case of an emergency. Volunteers and employees are always within hearing distance during normal hours and can usually respond within 3-4 minutes.”

“Could we go back to Herald?”

Eddie’s head snapped to Steve, who was looking at James with a kind smile.

“Oh. Well, sure. The only other thing I needed to show you was the trail leading to the lake, but we can go back after.”

So James backtracked, Steve and Eddie close on his heels.

They got to the enclosure with Herald, but didn’t see him.

“He likes to hide. Especially if it isn’t close to meal time, he doesn’t usually come close to the fence. His den is hidden away.”

Steve kept walking up to the fence as James spoke, Eddie watching and trying to figure out what was going on.

“Herald? You there?” Steve called gently into the fence. Wolves had excellent hearing, and he’d probably already heard them approach. “You can come say hi if you want to.”

Eddie stood next to Steve, looking out at the area in the enclosure. There was a good mix of forest and empty area, with plenty of things that were probably used as toys scattered around. He watched for any sign of movement, listened for any trotting over.

Nothing.

Steve looked incredibly disappointed, but James walked closer and gave them both a smile.

“Like I said, Herald isn’t very social and it’s nothing personal. He doesn’t even seem to like the director and all the wolves love her.”

But Eddie knew Steve. He knew that he wasn’t gonna let that shit go.

“Alright! Shall we head to the trail by the lake?”

Eddie watched as Steve sighed, but nodded.

—--------------

Steve cooked them dinner that evening, said it helped him relax and that he would feel more at home if he got into a routine.

Eddie wouldn’t complain; He loved Steve’s cooking.

He made a basic spaghetti dish, even toasted some bread and sprinkled some garlic powder on it to make garlic bread.

They sat at the small table by the front door and ate in silence.

“It’s really quiet here.”

Eddie looked up to see Steve staring down at his plate, biting his lip nervously.

“It’s kind of nice though. Peaceful.”

“Yeah.”

Eddie knew what he was worried about.

He was worried the silence would make him have more nightmares instead of less, that he’d be left with nothing to help him if this failed.

“Hey,” Eddie reached over and patted Steve’s hand that rested on the table. “I’m here, alright? You won’t be alone.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, only slightly relaxing back into his seat.

—--------------

The next day was relaxed.

They walked along the main trail after breakfast, happy to see Fran again and meet some new people.

They stopped at Herald’s enclosure, but still didn’t see or hear him.

Steve was disappointed, but it was hidden away when they were able to feed and pet some of the other wolves before lunch.

The wolves were all beautiful, clearly well taken care of, and even the ones still in recovery were cleaned, well-fed, and cared for by the team.

Eddie quickly had a favorite: Mabel. She was an “old woman” as the employee at the feeding area said. She was 12 years old, had been brought in from the side of the road after being hit. She had had a broken leg and many broken ribs, along with cuts that needed stitches. Not the worst they’d seen, but due to her being nearly 11 at the time, they didn’t expect her to pull through. She did though, and had quickly become known as the leader of the group. All the wolves respected her, it was clear even to Eddie and Steve. She was the first to the feeding area, the first to the petting area, and would often stand guard over the others as they went into the shared spaces.

She was light brown with gray speckled throughout, her scars visible, but mostly covered with hair.

Steve loved Mabel, too, but he still had his heart set on Herald.

Eddie wasn’t stupid. He knew why Steve was so fixated on him.

Someone who was abused and hidden away and expected to perform every day for crowds of people? Yeah, Steve and Herald had quite a bit in common.

He just didn’t want him to get his hopes up for nothing.

After lunch, they decided to walk over to the nutrition center, maybe learn something new.

It was educational, and fun, and Eddie said multiple times how much he wished actual school had been like this.

The nutritionists let them help set up all the wolves’ dinners, showing them portion sizes for each of the wolves, telling them what the wolves’ favorites were. How they celebrated birthdays for them.

It was fun. Steve even cracked some smiles throughout.

—--------------

That night was rough.

Steve had fallen asleep quickly, much to Eddie’s delight, but it didn’t last long.

Eddie was woken up not long after he fell asleep by whimpering. He glanced at the alarm clock by the bed. 10:38. Barely an hour.

He knew from experience that waking Steve up would just make things worse for him, so he gently set his hand on Steve’s side, the best support he could give right now.

It physically pained Eddie to watch Steve’s face tighten in fear and sadness, whatever his nightmare was this time painting a horrifying picture he couldn’t escape.

Steve had mentioned once that his worst nightmares weren’t even about reliving anything that happened. They weren’t anyone dying, though he had those too. They weren’t even him dying.

They were everyone turning on him, finally seeing he wasn’t worth their time or effort, leaving him alone in that big empty house just like his parents did. He said the worst part was when Robin and Eddie left in the nightmare. When they looked at him with disgust and said he wasn’t good enough for the kids, and he damn sure wasn’t good enough for them.

No matter how many times they told him that would never be true, he still had them.

Ten minutes went by, agonizingly slowly, tears falling down Steve’s face. Eddie was whispering words of comfort, hoping that somehow Steve could hear him, but knowing he probably couldn’t.

But finally, Steve’s eyes opened, the whimpering stopped, and he was no longer hearing and seeing what hurt him the most.

He sat up and wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming and his breathing was still labored.

Eddie sat up with him, hand on his arm, thumb rubbing back and forth to keep him present.

“I think I need to walk it off,” Steve said, voice wet with tears still to come.

“Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

Steve shook his head.

“No, go back to sleep. I’ll only be out for a few minutes.”

And as much as Eddie knew that was a lie, and knew he should probably go with Steve, he had to trust him.

He’d be safe. He had to be.

—--------------

Steve walked aimlessly up and down the main trail for 10 minutes, trying to breathe in the fresh air, focus on his surroundings.

It wasn’t working as well as he’d hoped, but it was better than staying in bed and letting Eddie see him like this.

Eddie was too kind, always. He was bright, like the sun and the stars and the moon on a clear night. He was everything. And if Steve let himself be too vulnerable, too much, Eddie would take that light.

He lost track of where he was going, his breaths coming in sharper pants now as he let more tears fall.

A noise made him freeze.

Leaves rustling.

He looked up to see Herald’s enclosure in front of him. And…

Herald.

Herald was huge, much bigger than any of the other wolves they’d seen so far. He was beautiful. Scars along his legs showing that he had been abused awfully before coming here, but the rest of him glowed with health. He was standing about eight feet from the fence, trying to hide some of his body still behind the bushes along the forest line.

Steve slowly made his way to the fence, his hands up to show he wasn’t going to cause any harm.

Herald didn’t come closer, but he didn’t back or run away either.

Steve counted that as a win.

He instantly slumped to the ground at the fence, his hands and head resting against the chain links like they were the only thing keeping him upright. Maybe they were.

Steve closed his eyes.

He was so focused on staying calm, he couldn’t hear Herald approach. But he suddenly felt a cold, wet nose against his head.

He didn’t panic, he didn’t want to scare Herald, but he realized suddenly that his fingers were very much easily accessed by sharp teeth.

He let Herald sniff him, then slowly looked up.

Herald was tilting his head at him, almost as if he was asking if he was okay.

That made Steve sob.

Herald jumped slightly, but then moved so he was completely against the fence, laying down so his warm body could be against Steve’s.

Steve slowly let his hands fall, reaching through the fence slowly to let them rest in Herald’s fur.

He felt the wolf sigh, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I get it. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone care, huh? You’re so soft,” Steve whispered, knowing Herald was still not completely relaxed around him.

“You tired?”

Steve felt a little silly for asking a wolf a question, but he felt even sillier when he realized Herald had just moved his head up and down. It was probably a coincidence, but the timing was crazy.

“Me too. We should get some sleep.”

Herald huffed and rolled his head back against the fence.

“Want me to stay?”

Herald huffed again.

“Okay.”

So Steve stayed.

He sat down on the ground, back against the fence, and listened to the crickets and the steady breaths of Herald.

He was woken up by Eddie shaking him and a growl coming from behind him.

“Steve! Jesus, I thought you’d got lost or died or something.”

“How long have I been out here?”

“It’s nearly two in the morning!”

Herald was growling behind him, protectively pacing behind Steve like he would find a way to get through the fence if Eddie tried to hurt him.

“Hey, Herald, it’s okay. This is Eddie. He’s here with me. He’s my friend,” Steve said calmly, holding his hand through the fence so Herald could sniff him and see he was okay.

“Steve! Get your hand out of there. He isn’t friendly, remember?”

“Oh, please. He just slept by me for hours and let me hold his fur like he was a stuffed animal. He’s plenty friendly.”

Eddie just stared, jaw slack, as he realized Steve was right.

Herald was licking Steve’s hand, leaving his scent on him like he was trying to provide as much protection as possible.

“You made friends with the only wolf here who hates people. Unbelievable.”

“Hey, be nice. He just needs some love is all.”

Eddie nodded. Yeah, him and another person with a name that started with S and rhymed with sleeve.

Eddie’s heart had been racing for the last 15 minutes since he woke up and realized Steve wasn’t in bed next to him or anywhere in the apartment.

He finally took a deep breath, balling his shaking hands into fists and stuffing them into the pocket of his hoodie.

“We should head back inside, Stevie.”

Steve seemed to notice Eddie wasn’t doing so great.

“I’m alright, Eds. Hey, look at me.” Eddie looked at Steve’s face, the way he seemed more relaxed than when he first left after his nightmare. “I’m okay. I must have fallen asleep.”

Eddie took a deep breath, resting his head against Steve’s shoulder as he let it out.

“I thought you were gone.”

“Nah, you can’t get rid of me now.”

“No?”

“Nope. Herald and I are just good friends, but you’re still-” Steve cut himself off, but Eddie wasn’t going to let that pass.

“What?”

“Nothing. Not important.”

“Yeah it is. Tell me.”

Steve seemed nervous, and Herald must have sensed it because he let out a low growl.

“It’s just that you mean a lot to me. Kind of everything, actually.”

Eddie couldn’t breathe.

What did that even mean?

Steve’s hand was suddenly in his hair, playing with the ends the way Eddie did when he was nervous.

“You’re just. I mean, how could you not mean the world to me? You dropped everything to come here with me because you knew I wouldn’t do it alone, Eds. You bring me candy at work even though I literally have access to all the candy I want at the counter. You let me find reasons not to watch the scary movies on movie nights when Dustin picks because you know I can’t handle them. You swim in the pool with me alone so no one knows how much I still hate it. I…you’re just…”

Eddie didn’t let him stutter any more, knowing what he was saying without actually saying it.

He knew what Steve was afraid of, and he wasn’t going to let him be scared anymore.

“Steve. I love you. That’s why I do all that. I love you. I’m in love with you. You deserve more than what I can give, but I can keep giving you all of the love I have, and hopefully that will be enough.”

Steve’s lips were on his before he finished speaking, teeth clacking together at the force of it.

Herald huffed, but they didn’t stop. Eddie didn’t know how he was supposed to now that he had Steve’s lips on his.

He never wanted them gone.

His hands reached up to Steve’s neck, cradling his jaw between them as if he was holding something precious. He was.

“I love you so much,” Steve said against his lips, melting against Eddie.

“I love you, Stevie,” Eddie said back. He planted another soft kiss to his lips before resting their foreheads together. “Let’s go back to bed, okay? We can come see Herald after breakfast.”

Steve nodded and turned to Herald.

“I’ll be back. Don’t hide from me, okay?”

He reached in to give Herald’s head a scratch, and Eddie shook his head in disbelief.

It took less than 48 hours for Steve to have the one wolf in this sanctuary who didn’t like people completely wrapped around his finger.

But Eddie could relate.

Steve’s charm was damn near impossible to resist and now he didn’t have to try.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #requests #ficlet #but more like a whole one shot #this is over 5000 words oops #and could have been more but i had to tie that shit up with a bow #hurt/comfort

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joyful-witch · 9 months ago

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I normally avoid talking about fandom or drama on my main but I think as someone who has experienced abuse I wanted to share my perspective on the “Wilbur situation” and make a slight vent post about it while also discussing my issues with how some in the community have handled this situation.

TW discussions of abuse

Disclaimer: for those that know me, I do have two exes. The ex I will be mentioning in this post is the first one. Not my most recent ex. I am on good terms with my ex girlfriend and we are good friends now. This is NOT about her. This is about the man who gave me CPTSD.

I haven’t spoken much about my experience of abuse publicly because it feels like it was something I only recently escaped, and I honestly didn’t want word getting to him about it because the idea of him contacting me again makes me want to throw up. But he doesn’t use tumblr so I feel confident I can talk about this here.

I was with an abusive man for almost 4 years of my life. About a year in I realized I was gay but I stayed because I was scared of him and I was scared he was going to hurt himself or me. Listening to Shelby talk about what was done to her reminds me so much of what happened to me. Between the neglect and the love bombing, to the “I’m stronger than you” statement and refusal to abide by safe words and even weaponizing them…not to mention his knowing she was previously assaulted and still doing the things he did…it just…felt like I was looking in a mirror. Except it was so much worse. I was lucky in the fact that most of my relationship with my abuser happened when we were in high school because I was able to escape from him. Shelby had to live in the same space as this horrible man on multiple occasions and I cannot begin to fathom how awful that must have been.

The pain and suffering she has been put through is unforgivable, and William Gold deserves every bit of backlash he has gotten. And he does not deserve to have any sort of platform anymore. But I want to specifically address some of the people who have expressed issues with Shelby and other CCs regarding the situation.

I have seen several people be upset at Shelby for “not coming out sooner” and for other CCs not coming out sooner and “not calling him out” sooner. And as a victim of abuse, it is not our jobs to placate you and tell you everything that happened to us. We have every right to process what has happened to us. It is difficult to process, difficult to admit. It took me months after I left him to finally acknowledge my ex had treated me badly, let alone that he had abused me. And I know I sure as hell would not have wanted anyone speaking FOR me about the abuse that I had endured.

There is no timeline for recovering from abuse and just because you’re pissed that you supported a monster for so long doesn’t mean you have any right to throw a hissy fit about the victim “not saying it sooner”. Grow the fuck up. Find a new musician to listen to. And support victims, always.

Anyways, fuck Wilbur Soot I hope he rots

Support Shelby, she deserves the world and more. I’m so proud of you Shelby and I stand with you.

#wilbur soot #TW abuse #TW abuse mention #kinda sorta vent #tw wilbur soot #fuck wilbur soot #support shubble #support shelby #support victims #if you know my ex no you don’t #I want nothing to do with him nor will I ever reveal his name so leave me alone

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ruvviks · 2 months ago

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break, heartbreak and pain for tiberius!!

tiberius asks!

BREAK: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

if someone close to tiberius would get killed, especially in front of his eyes, he would break completely. it's already happened once with his sister stella getting killed while they were in cryo and that already broke him pretty bad; but since there was a LOT to process in that entire situation he came out of it relatively okay if that makes sense?? he never really got enough time to fully process and grieve her death so he ended up picking himself up pretty quickly (though it all does hit him like a freight train later in the story, but again it wouldn't break him as much as it could have basically)

but now with stella already dead, tiberius just can't afford to go through something like that again. he's got many people he cares about now; preston, the railroad gang, my other ocs max, roxy, nikolai, and magnus, and then piper, nick, maccready; if any of them were to be killed, he would just crumble. would pick up a bottle or some chems or both at the same time and try to drown it all out until there's nothing to drown out anymore or he's pushed himself too far :/

if he were to survive the intial heartbreak, he would just go completely insane. isolate himself somewhere and just spend his days pacing around and trying to keep himself busy by obsessively cleaning his weapons, or washing his hands over and over and over until they're bleeding because clearly he's done something wrong, he couldn't save them, he's done something wrong and now they're dead and it's his fault and he has to make it right somehow but he doesn't know HOW because what else is there to do?? there is NOTHING anyone would be able to do to help him out of it and if he would ever be able to snap out of it it'd take him months if not years, and he would NEVER be the same guy ever again. maybe if he was a little bit older when someone he cared about would die in such a way, he would be able to handle it better; but especially at the age he's at now it wouldn't go well for him at all

HEARTBREAK: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

tiberius had a girlfriend pre-war and they were together for about three years, but she cheated on him for most of the time they were together and he finds that out about a week before the bombs fall :( she holds up a mirror to him, judging him for things she never bothered to bring up before, and while he Should have done all of it better she shouldn't've reacted the way she did and betrayed him like that; but the narrative around the situation is twisted in such a way that their entire friend group ends up torn apart, and tiberius ends up being turned into the bad guy in it all

the situation is why he's staying at stella's place for fall break and why he's even able to get into vault 111 in the first place (her husband clark is out of town and tiberius manages to take his place). he was not on speaking terms with any of his friends at the time and was leaving them all on read, which means he never really got the chance to properly say goodbye before the world ended :( it's something that still bothers him a LOT nowadays and he feels awful about it

PAIN: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

tiberius has experienced a lot of really bad pain now that he's the commonwealth's favorite squeaky toy so this answer is bound to change, but for now what i can think of it would probably be getting his leg clawed open by a deathclaw on the beach :] specific location but imagine the sand and salt water of the ocean and the open wounds. his screams were heard all the way over in the castle

i will say that did happen before the children of atom gave him their special boy radiation cocktail (i really need a better name for it but also this sounds funny so i'm keeping it) because after he got that shit his pain tolerance went up Significantly. he's definitely experienced pain of similar intensity after that moment, but wouldn't say it was worse himself because he just doesn't feel it all as much as he used to anymore

#asks #ordinarymaine #ask:tiberius #oc asks #THANK YOUUU i love torturting this guy #he was only just born so you can imagine the kind of stress he's under

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clonerightsagenda · 1 year ago

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everythingitcouldbe THE TAGS???? HELLO???

re: this post's tags, a 2 year old extremely silly conversation from discord making a lot of references to the Lambert Week video series

Kat thinking about the timeline of Lovelace's appearance again… Eiffel at some point after staring into space for several minutes: Captain I think you exist because the commander was having a breakdown Minkowski: has her fucking meltdown Eiffel: is consequently off the comms for a few weeks the aliens: print off a spycam to see what the fuck is going on Lovelace: enters this world with severe anxiety who says having a mental break and hunting a plant for 2 weeks isn't productive

Kate Summon a Captain and a friend

Kat my stream of consciousness from this point 'why did they think Lovelace was the best responsible adult to send' 'well they were trying to be Sneaky and she was the only one who had a craft they could copy and not be super obvious' 'what if at some point in s2 Lovelace is Not being a responsible adult and Eiffel is unable to broadcast for whatever reason and so the Listeners decide they will send in a responsible adult and just fuckin. teleport a Lambert on death's door in' Lambert, in the process of hacking up a lung, glowing blue: Why Aren't You Talking To Us Eiffel: So. Uh. Captain? Commander? Sorry to bother you but this nerd guy just appeared in Hilbert's lab and I think he's speaking in tongues? Also he might be dying. Anyway I'm still strapped to the table due to Lungs Exploded, please advise.

Gill the ghost of Hilbert's past sins

Kat Hilbert, walking in and assessing the situation: motherfucker

Kate Pffff

Kat Eiffel: Should I make room on the table??

Kate Eiffel is yelling because a guy just teleported into the lab. Minkowski is yelling because Will People Stop Randomly Appearing On Her Station. Lovelace is yelling because what is Lambert doing here, aren’t you dead, I had FINALLY managed to Cope and move on, what the fuck. Lambert is trying to yell but can’t because critical lung collapse Hilbert turns around and leaves

Gill Hera: Yup, same shit, different day.

Kat also bold of Lovelace to claim she has managed to Cope and move in while in season 2 Murder Mode

Kate She thinks she’s handling it very well and normally

Gill Lovelace: Some people?? Give a dude two liters of their blood? To cope???

Kat The aliens just want to know why their favorite podcast is on hiatus!! Their spycam was doing shuttle repairs and not watching their Boy, they needed to know what was Up

Gill so do you think they figure out how to keep their new spycam stable before he dies a second time and they have to reboot him

Kat probably not frankly it's not great for anyone involved

Kate I am a huge fan of Lambert dying and rebooting several times in a row before they figure out a stable configuration

Gill also, Lovelace, having progressed past terrified anger into giggling hysterically: I was right!! This is hell!! This is my own personal hell and I am stuck here forever!!!

Kat Lovelace just like D : Eiffel, still strapped to the table: cool cool this is cool

Kate It is deeply traumatic for everyone involved, except for Hera, who thinks it’s fascinating in a gross way, and Hilbert, who tbh also thinks it’s fascinating in a gross way

Kat someone please get Lovelace's heart rate trigger off

Gill Minkowski, approaching Lovelace: Captain….. I think we're in a very stressful situation…… and we should probably take the bomb trigger off your wrist until things calm down Lovelace: /is not in a headspace to receive this information

Kate Lambert keeps it together just long enough to say “the what” before dying for the third time in the past ten minutes Eiffel: oh yeah it’s this whole—aaaaand he’s gone again

Kat Hera: Is this how it normally works

Kate Eiffel: Hey doc is this what Decima does

Kat Hilbert: …. maybe?? Is unprecedented medical phenomenon. Might as well take credit.

Gill also i am absolutely picturing him at least once collapsing into Lovelace's arms and going "Captain, I think something's still really wrong with me /hurk /dies again" Lovelace: D'8

Kat He died not knowing Selberg was making them sick on purpose. I wonder if Hilbert would feel at all bad if one of his victims popped up still dying and asked for his help, because he's his doctor Probably not Lambert: Doctor, I - keels over Hilbert: Eh. Better luck next time

Gill Hilbert: Perhaps I can- Lovelace: NO!! Hell no you're why he's like this in the first place this is YOUR fault and you don't get to touch him

Kate This is the closest Decima has ever come to working Hilbert wants to Study

Gill alien blood vs Decima round 2: Oklahoman Cage Match

Kat Hilbert like well, I don't know that Decima can't make people manifest out of nowhere and revive repeatedly. His blinders are on really well Eiffel: is this my future. Am I going to get stuck in a respawn cycle Hera: I find it morbidly interesting when someone else's communication officer is spitting blood. I draw the line at my communication officer spitting blood

Gill honestly the level of Freak Out just makes it funnier if/when the Dear Listeners do figure out a stable configuration and Lambert has one last blood-hacking-up coughing fit before going "actually I feel much better now" (Lovelace refuses to put him down anyway)

Kat how much of that did you process Sam

Gill he heard shouting and then Captain Lovelace was squeezing him really hard

Kat Lambert: I guess I blacked out a few times - Hera: His vitals stopped a lot

Kate And then he glowed blue It was a little noticeable

Gill Eiffel: Also he asked when the broadcasts would resume in this weird echo-ey god voice.

Kate Minkowski: Okay. Okay. We are going to calm down and figure this out, calmly, together. Minkowski, glaring at each of them in turn: Minkowski: Hilbert, explain.

Kat Hilbert: No precedent for Decima virus producing bio-luminescence but I suppose - Eiffel: Listen I know my pop culture experience isn't respected here but that guy is 100% possessed Or a ghost? Can you be a possessed ghost? (Yes)

Gill Eiffel, putting a hand up: I'm not saying it was aliens, but…

Kat Eiffel: He manifested in here. This is a manifestation Minkowski: Eiffel you are on a lot of medication right now Hera: No that happened

Gill oh yeah I suppose if Lambert's been rebooted over and over again it's only when respiratory gets stable that he'd get to go through the Brain Reboot Thing so he's like half-conscious and clinging to Lovelace and mumbling something about being a goose

Kat Lambert, vaguely: I don't want to crunch the ice

Kate Lambert, half-conscious: you smell like musk. Lovelace: ….. thanks? Lambert: no. That’s bad

Kat Lambert, fuzzily glimpsing Eiffel: the future man…. he's bad at his job Eiffel: REALLY

Gill Hera: …how does he know about you? Lambert: Oh you're here too! Hello! You're a person!

Kate Hera: oh, he talks in a normal voice now? Lambert, pointing at the ceiling: you! I like you! You’re a person! Ha same braincell

Kat Lambert: Rheeeeeea. Heeeeera. That's a… that's an acronym. No that's not right… Minkowski, so lost: Anagram?

Gill Lambert: Is this… the future?? Lovelace, just completely beyond capacity at this point: Yes, Sam. Yes it is.

Kat Lovelace: Sam I think you need to rest and calm down, ok? Lambert: You were there too captain but you weren't…. yourself? Eiffel: : o Lovelace is also a possessed ghost?

Gill Minkowski: I think we all need to take a deep breath… and calm down. Lambert: /attempts to take a deep breath Lambert: /starts coughing again Lovelace: ( 8

Kat Eiffel also starts coughing so as to not be left out Minkowski gives Hilbert a death glare

Gill so is this before or after the events of the live show

Kat unclear but iirc Eiffel was not supposed to be out of bed in the liveshow and the dialog in Knock Knock would imply he got sent back to bedrest for a while Eiffel: Someone untie me I refuse to keep sleeping in here what if more ghosts manifest to yell at me. I think this lab is cursed

Kate Minkowski: Eiffel! You are not ready to leave bed rest! Do you want to end up like that? Eiffel: That wasn’t expressing a preference for non-ghosts to yell at me

Gill Lovelace: Ok but what if more of my dead friends do come back because they manifested to yell at you sounds like something worth testing

Kat Eiffel: Ok fine! Then Captain Lovelace has to stay here with me! Eiffel: Or a nightlight! I demand one of these things

Gill tbh if Lambert has to stay in the lab under observation I dont imagine Lovelace is leaving

Kat

Hera: Are you scared of the ghost? He doesn't seem that scary. mostly he's coughing up blood Eiffel: This is how zombie movies start Eiffel: if he bites me you have to vent me into space quick before I bite the commander Hera: Can I let you bite Hilbert first at least Eiffel: Yeah actually make sure I bite Hilbert

Kate Hera: he’s been mumbling about spreadsheets for twenty minutes. I don’t think he’d be interested in your brain. Hah

Gill Lambert talking in his sleep about scented candles Jumbling up his candle shopping adventure with random Pryce And Carter tips

Kate Lambert: nnnnnnnn… tip 24… sandalwood There is a wrong way to eat an oreo. It’s coziness points

Gill Lambert: Gay boy Lambert… is not proper emergency procedure…

Kate Lovelace, who is definitely not crying, shut up: Is he talking about Pryce and Carter’s in his sleep. I’m going to strangle him again.

Kat The aliens have still not gotten a new podcast episode. However they at least have eyes on their boy now and a slightly better understanding of the importance of lungs.

Gill Eiffel, on his next broadcast: she might kill me for saying this, but I swear to you, Dear Listeners, I heard the new guy say to Captain Lovelace something like “I think you have maximum smelly points Captain” and she started like, openly sobbing, and I don’t think it was because she was upset either

Kat "It's been a weird 24 hours!"

Gill Lambert waking up the next morning and interrogating Eiffel about how he’s here and what’s going on and also, why are you so bad at your job?? Eiffel would leave but he’s strapped to a table to prevent that exact thing

Kate Eiffel: You’re the one who just teleported here and then died in all of our arms at various points! I think I should be asking the questions here

Gill Lovelace, half-awake in a chair between both of them: can all of you stop being so loud this early Lambert: Whatre you doing already up, Captain?? Lovelace: Bold of you to assume I ever went to sleep Lambert: Captain…

Kat Lovelace is also low on blood at the moment

Gill Everyone in this medical lab is not doing so hot at the moment and is in various modes of hilarious mess

Kat Minkowski showing up in the morning with cups of coffee and granola bars like…. hello?? Eiffel: Hera did anyone else teleport onto the station Hera, darkly: not yet

Kate Minkowski: are any of you okay at all? Simultaneously, Lovelace says “yes,” Eiffel says “no,” and Lambert makes a whiny gurgly cough noise Minkowski: … I’ll take that as three “no”s

#everythingitcouldbe #replies #tales from the group chat #wolf 359

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ilikerpgs · 1 year ago

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Friends

A little Breath of Fire 5 fanfic from Bosch's point of view. It happens sometime before the game plot.

Ryu and Bosch were once again on a Genic hunting mission. Their target is a particularly evasive Duke Leader, which has been seen somewhere near the city. It doesn't take long for the duo to find it - Leaders often are surrounded by other Dukes, smaller in size, but equally dangerous. The Leader stays in the back as it comands with hand movements and grunts its underlings. The battle begins.

At this point, Ryu and Bosch have enough experience to know how to deal with the situation. The mission goes smoothly at first, fortunelly for them, there aren't many enemies and most of them are quickly defeated. Soon there's only one Duke and the Duke Leader left. They're careful to not leave the latter alone - it's known Leaders will surely retreat as soon as they find themselves without back-up. While Ryu distracts the minion Duke, Bosch faces the big one. The mission is very close to an end.

Then, something unusual happens. Bosch misses his first hit. And the second, and the third... The Duke Leader turns out to be incredibly nimble! Or was Bosch just incompetent? The thought struck a nerve and Bosch hastily advances with one decisive blow. The Leader dodges, and while Bosch is still turning around to position, the Genic elevates its big axe over its head. Bosch hesitates. "Fear clouds your vision and hides your foe." The Leader swings its axe in his direction. "That way it only lies death." Bosch's vision darkens for a second, only for a metal against metal sound to break him out of his paralysis. Opening his eyes again, he sees Ryu's back. He was able to parry the blow with his sword just in time! Bosch stumbles back. "What are you doing?!" Ryu shouts. "Move! I can't hold much longer!"

Bosch quickly stands up and moves aside. Ryu's swords slides throught the axe blade and breaks in two. "Crap!" He rolls over, avoiding the Genic's weapon swing by very little, getting a cut in the leg in the process. Ryu takes distance, and with what is left of his sword still in hand, grab his bag in search of an item. Meawhile, with regained focus and rather annoyed, Bosch go back into his attack stance. Ryu finally finds what he was looking for, a bomb, but clumsily let it slip from his hand. "Ugh-!" He jumps towards it, only to find himself in front of the Duke Leader once again. This time Bosch finally is able to execute one of his sword moves, critically injuring the Genic, that falls on the floor. Ryu sighs in relief. He sits on the floor and put his stuff back in the bag. After looking around to confirm the mission sucess, he exchanges stares with Bosch, who scoffs him with a smirk. They were even now.

/// Back in the locker room, Ryu is bandaging his wound, while Bosch cleans his sword. Bosch takes a quick look of what remained from his partner's sword, the two old metal pieces that were right beside him. "You should get better gear." "Sure, when I get a promotion." Ryu laughed half-heartly. Having such low d-ratio, it was obvious that would never happen. /// They've been working together since the beggining, and yet Bosch never really knew Ryu's true intention for joining the Rangers. At all. Ryu came out of nowhere, a promising yound lad with a high sense of responsibility. A faster learner, he was able to handle the sword pretty well in only a few weeks, training whenever he could and often asking his felow ranger seniors for tips and tricks. And now even Bosch (begrudgingly) recongnized Ryu's skill level to be close to his own. Which he could only attribute to natural talent. Or luck.

How unfair. How did a nobody like him get so far? He would never go beyond his current rank. What did he work so hard for?! Living out of scraps, stuck in the lowest sector, with no prospects of a better life. There was no reason for being jealous of him, Bosch repeated to himself. He had nothing. No one. No one? He had Bosch. Were they friends? It's hard to tell. They're friendly towards each other, it's true. Despite their different backgrounds, as rangers they were equal. ///

Except Bosch had a goal… That included leaving Ryu behind. It was bound to happen eventually. "Did you ever wish to move up?" Bosch kept staring at his sword. "Move up? Like, in ranking? How high?" to what Bosch replied "Regent." Silence. "I'm not sure what I would do with that." Ryu replied "Ah!" "But I guess not worrying about making ends meet would be cool." Fool.

"Of course" Bosch said under his breath. Bosch smiles to himself. Ryu's apparent lack of ambition would be useful. "What was that?" "Nevermind. Here, buy a decent sword for once." Bosch throws a small bag with a few Zenny. "You sure?" Ryu lifts his eyebrows as he asks. "I can't have you dragging your feet in our missions." Bosch stands up. "See ya, partner." He goes out of the room, leaving Ryu pensive about the little exchange they just had.

THE END

#breath of fire V #dragon quarter #ryu 1/8192 #Ryu #Bosch #bof5 #fanfic

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tavarillasgalen · 1 year ago

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my personal trainer dropped the bomb that this is his last week today, which gave us only today and tomorrow to figure out a new trainer situation, which pisses me off, to be honest, because if he had let me know when he'd put in his 2 weeks, we would have had 2 weeks to figure out who i'm going to be paired with next, not scrambling last minute. i feel like i've been left high and dry, which isn't good, especially for something as expensive as personal training is.

and like, i get it. he mentioned how he was starting to hate coming to the gym because so many of his clients were so difficult and he works another job too, and how it was all affecting his mental health. and he always made a point of being like, not you though, you're great.

but i'm still like... if you're going to quit, ok, but... don't tell me that towards the end of your last week and put me in a pickle, that's just... not professional, at all. you should have told me when you put your notice in, or that you were going to put your notice in, and then i wouldn't be left high and dry and scrambling to find a new trainer for next week.

and he mentioned that this was his last week halfway through our session today, and i felt like i was going to cry? and then when it was over, i went to my car, and i did have a breakdown about it, and i was like what? why am i crying about this?? why am i so affected by this?? sure, there's the anger, which i think i have a right to be angry given how this was handled, but crying????? like, i'm STILL crying about it.

and it's not even that we got that close or anything. like sure, we had a bit of a personal connection, and he did start to feel like a little brother. but not enough to justify a breakdown over him being like, by the way, i'm gone at the end of the week.

and i think what triggered that big of a reaction over it is just, idk. a sense of betrayal, maybe? abandonment issues and feeling like everyone secretly hates me, definitely. because with how just... oh by the way it was, i think i felt betrayed by the fact that now i'm left floundering, and sure, he said that since i'm the best client he had he wants to be sure my next trainer is a good fit, but i'm like... if that were true, you wouldn't have told me 2 days before your last day. so i'm like... i thought we had a personal connection, i thought we could maybe be friends, so i just feel betrayed at how badly that was handled. i know, logically, that it has very little to do with me, and everything to do with his own immaturity and learning what is and isn't professional. but logic and emotion are two very different things.

and i think just... i feel like everyone always leaves me. and so, sure, throughout the almost 2 months we worked together, he always made a point of being like how he wished his other clients were like me, and how i was great to work with, and all this. but then it's like, well, if i really were that great to work with, you would have told me you were quitting and worked to set me up with a new trainer in the weeks before your last day so everything would be sorted when you left, instead of handling it how it was. so then i'm left feeling like there's something wrong with me, and that's why everyone i feel a potential for friendship with leaves. and i know that's probably not it, i know it's probably just his own issues and then the fact that he's young so he just hasn't really learned what is and isn't professional yet. but still, the part of me that is so wounded by everyone always leaving is really hurting right now and feeling like i'm the problem, even though i know i'm not, not here, anyway.

i know i'm definitely overreacting to this, because your personal trainer quitting their job for their own reasons and health and whatnot shouldn't make you cry. but it did, it is. and i just need to process my own issues about it.

#personal

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playertwotails · 2 years ago

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Okay adding on to this cause one I've been thinking about it all day and @sky-marbles read my mind. I was wanting to write out Amy, Knuckles and Shadows reactions when they find out on the first post but it was already long. But I've been thinking about their reactions to finding out their fluffy boy is an agent of chaos and destruction. All I needed was a push to write it all down.

Once again rest under the cut cause it was gonna be short then I kept going

So the guy that basically rats out Tails for being a one man toddler army years ago is actually someone they need info from on finding the emeralds cause something...something...Eggman's up to some nonsense again from the Kukku army leftovers...etc.

So like the whole gang in involved plus Shadow cause he heard they were trying to kick Eggman's ass again and that's enough to manifest him from wherever he was.

Sonic and Tails find our sole survivor first so they get their whole moment of "wtf Tails???" out of the way before the rest of the group.

They take the guy back to the group after he has some calm down time and Tails assures him he's not gonna kill him. Tails lets him know he doesn't handle situations like that anymore. Also that he was a 3/4 year old and they were grown ass adults with years of training what else was he supposed to do to stay safe??? Let them win, talk it out, he's not stupid and they clearly has no qualms with fighting a little kid. Unfortunately for them Tails was just better at it. (Tails still doesn't like the guy and has to get that last little insult jab at him. But I feel like if held up in a court it could be argued as Tails was just defending himself cause he was a baby practically but he happens to be a genius...so bombs just happened to be his self defense mechanism)

So they take the guy back and he's kind of scared Tails still but also kind of wants revenge on him and what better way to do that then turn Tails friends against him. Cause if Sonic reacted at least surprised, but not upset which put a damper on his plans, then what would the rest feel about hearing about that whole situation.

The moment they're all together they guy basically starts panicking again and once again spilling the whole story of Tails' adventure to Amy, Knuckles, and Shadow.

After he gets done with dramatic monologue they whole group is just silent and staring at Tails before Knuckles speaks up with a

"Tails?? What the fuck is this guy going on about???"

To which Tails is just like

"Oh yeah that was a whole thing when I was a little kid. In my defense they swung first I just finished the fight. Sonic knew about it already I guess I forgot to tell you guys."

And like the group is in a shocked state just basically 'okay....WHAT???!!!"

Amy is just speechless trying to come to grips that sweet little Tails has actually killed people. But also like based on what he could do when she first met him that tracks but still that's gonna take her a bit to process that Tails has killed before. I don't think she'd be mad or upset just shocked and needing to process that into what she knows about Tails. Plus once she processes it she'd have so much sympathy for a little baby Tails being put in a position of kill or be killed that she'd just want to wrap him up in a hug and protect him from the world.

Knuckles is in the same boat of shock but also like more calm about it cause Tails' explanation makes sense to him and he would have done the exact same thing if is was Angel Island, though with less explosions and more punching things.

Shadow on the other hand is going through multiple stages of 'wtf' cause like he's only seen Tails in the light of 'Sonic's happy, overly sweet little brother figure who doesn't like to hurt anyone and wants to just befriend them like Sonic'. But now he is having to reconstruct how he views Tails entirely. A part him though is super impressed cause "Damn you took out a whole ass army at 4 years old!!!". Also now all of Tails past actions of wanting to peacefully resolve everything change from the category of 'Too much on the high horse of their own good guy act to not solve the issue and end the problem permanently' that Shadow has put Sonic and all his friends into. To moving just Tails to the category of 'Can kill and has killed and now chooses not to'. Which Shadow immediately approves of more, Tails choosing not to kill when he easily can is something Shadow just has immense respect for.

Basically it backfires on the guy and none of them really get upset with Tails' past actions like he'd hoped causing them to abandon him. But actually makes them all love their collective little brother figure more.

BONUS:

Eggman hears about it and immediately freaks out a bit cause that means if he pushes it far enough one day Tails will have no problem with killing him. A small part of him also respects that Tails took out an army single-handedly.

Thinking about how Tails has canonically blown up a man and his entire army killing them and how he defiantly told Sonic about it. But I don't think Sonic believed him really. Not that he thinks Tails is lying but little kids have a tendency to exaggerate. And depending on the game manual he either fights this army before he met Sonic or right after and I can't decide which is actually funnier. Cause in my mind when Sonic first met Tails he was like 3-4 while Sonic is 10-11.

Putting the rest under the cut cause this got longer than I meant for it to be

So if it's before they met, these big tough army guys just stumbled upon a random toddler that woke up and choose violence and napalm bombs that day. And who then proceed to pretty much hunt them down one by one which puts Tails in the role of terrifying unstoppable horror movie creature from their perspective.

If it's right after Tails met Sonic, they just beat Eggman. Tails just got his first taste of taking down would be dictators and decided he could go for a round two but with more explosions this time. Plus he hasn't really fought real people other than Eggman just his bots so Tails is a bit unknowingly deadly against these new more squishy opponents. (Not that Tails doesn't realize he's killing them he 100% knows what he's doing but also they're trying to take over the island and he's got some bombs so that math checks out for him)

Either way I just image little Tails telling Sonic he took out a whole army of bad guys on his own. And Sonic in his head knows Tails can fight but is thinking it was like 3-5 people at most maybe and Tails is just exaggerating . Plus Sonic thinks Tails just means he stopped them from doing what ever they were doing; not that Tails meant "took them out" as in he stopped them from existing.

Years go by and on one of their adventures they stumble upon a guy who was basically the sole survivor from Tails' rampage. That guy just takes one look at Tails and starts panicking and trying to run away.

Sonic sees this and runs after the guy and then gets a rundown from the guy of why he's so scared of Tails. Which leaves Sonic in a bit of a state of shock. He's not like mad at Tails at all but more like "huh???" cause Tails is sweet and doesn't like to hurt people and prefers peaceful resolutions if he can get them. So this is way out of left field from the sweet little brother he knows. But Sonic thinks back to that conversation he and Tails had all those years ago about Tails defeating an army. Realizes he was completely wrong about what Tails meant, and in hindsight knowing what Tails can do should have probably been a bit more concerned about that whole conversation. He was a kid raising and even smaller kid who is a genius he gets some leeway on not being 100% on top of things. But Sonic just turns to Tails and just

"Tails what the actual fuck????? THAT WAS A REAL THING????!!!??"

And Tails, who has thought this whole time Sonic believed him, is just like

"Yeah I told you about his already don't you remember??? Did you think I was lying???"

Sonic has to back pedal and explain his thoughts on what Tails told him back then. Which alleviates some of the confusion but also now he knows Tails has killed and like okay not great but also what can he do about it now. He personally doesn't like killing people but also Tails was like 3/4 at most and he was in a situation were it was him vs an army. Those odds were still in Tails favor but technically it was self defense in Sonic's mind. So Sonic doesn't really have any negative feeling towards Tails over this or see him in any negative light. It's just turns into a "well that's a thing now" kinda situation.

OR the flip side of this where Sonic 100% believes Tails from the get go and again same thoughts as above but he does lecture Tails about, you know, not killing their enemies.

He also takes away all Tails bombs which is why in later games Tails doesn't use bombs much just his inventions or those dummy rings from Sonic Heroes. Sonic lets him have his heavy weaponry back once he knows Tails wont go Doom Slayer on Eggman or their other enemies.

Idk just some funny thoughts about that game I've been having.

#tails the fox #miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #shadow also wants tails to make him some of those napalm bombs to which sonic shuts down #tails has been permanently banned from making them for years now after sonic found out the first time #Sonic checks the workshop on occasion for any ingredients needed to make them ever since #cause he forced himself to learn what they are for that exact reason

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superbattrash · 2 years ago

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Superbat: The Bet

Alternative title: anon prompts are my favorite dish <3

For the sweet anon who wanted Superbat making a silly bet and the loser having to do whatever the winner wants.

Bruce doesn’t break under pressure. He does his work; he finishes his mission, and he does it meticulously every time no matter how stressful the situation. It is true that he can’t always follow his carefully structured plans (working with others – specifically not his kids – is a challenge in and of itself, but Bruce is managing) but he’s good at the spontaneous solutions as well. His mind is quick, his body is strong; he’s a skilled fighter and a fast learner.

Now where does Clark Kent fit into all of this? Usually, he doesn’t. Because Bruce isn’t doing missions with Clark Kent of Smallville, Kansas. Superman is who he factors into his plans and his preparations.

Superman is levelheaded, follows orders (mostly) without questions and even without his incredible strength, he is sharp and just as smart as Bruce, even if it shows differently in the two. It’s not like Bruce has ever told Clark any of this, he assumes it’s a silent agreement between them. They respect each other and they’re a great team.

Clark Kent on the other hand, well… Clark is more than a teammate. Clark is someone Bruce holds very dear to his heart. A little too dear sometimes, but they’re working on that. Bruce needs to learn how to trust others and give up control and Clark needs to learn that Bruce can take care of himself. It’s a process. They’ll be fine, they’re doing alright.

Clark is who he invites over for dinner, Superman is who he calls when he needs help moving a mountain, putting out a forest fire or stopping an alien invasion. He’s still working up to allowing Superman to help in Gotham, but he’ll get there. Probably. Maybe. Either way Bruce knows he can trust Superman to have his back on missions.

Usually, that’s enough. Usually, Clark knows not to mix the two up. He keeps the silly boyfriend act on hold until they at least get back to the cave, or even Clark’s apartment. Whichever is closer to whatever emergency they’re dealing with.

Today isn’t usual, it seems.

“I bet I can disassemble the bomb before you can,” Clark says, voice giddy and excited.

It’s just the two of them in the building – there’s no reason to have the entire League in here in case the space blows up earlier than anticipated. When it’s just the two of them Clark can potentially get Bruce out or shield him before he gets injured. Even though the rest of the team have powers, not all of them can handle a building collapsing on top of them and Clark may have superspeed, but he can’t be everywhere at once.

It’s another thing they’re working on. The guilt. It’s constant and persistent and always on the edge of Clark’s mind. Bruce understands; even without enhanced senses and strength he often feels like he can do more. Should do more. It’s tenfold in Clark’s mind because he does possess the powers to help so many more people. But not everybody, not all the time. The building has been evacuated beforehand for this exact reason.

“What,” Bruce says, because what? This isn’t like Clark, joking in the midst of a mission. He must feel confident they’ll find the explosives in time, otherwise he’s lost his mind. Batman doesn’t joke either way.

“I bet-”

“I heard you,” Bruce interrupts as he fiddles with the outer casing of the bomb. He has to concentrate on this in case vibrations will trigger the device. It’s a little difficult with Clark breathing down his neck while he rocks back and forth on his toes. “This isn’t a joke, Superman.”

“I know,” Clark says, and Bruce sighs a little in relief. Then Clark continues: “I’m still gonna be faster than you, though.”

“Tsk,” is all the sound that leaves Bruce’s mouth as the plastic casing finally opens with a quiet pop. The timer has almost reached down to a single minute. He has to focus on this.

“So, you agree?” Clark prods and he still hasn’t moved from right behind Bruce.

“Of course not,” Bruce mutters. There’s no way Clark will ever beat him in disassembling a bomb, no matter how fast he is. He may be able to look through the thing – unless there’s lead mixed into the materials – and he may have superspeed and a sharp mind, but he’s no Batman.

“Wanna bet?” Clark grins, and he’s looking over Bruce’s shoulder with this cheeky grin on his face. They really do not have the time for this.

“I don’t bet,” Bruce grunts as he carefully separates the wires. They’re all black, so there’s no ‘cutting the red wire’ scenario here.

“One minute left, it’s now or never, B.”

“Fine, now go find the other bomb,” he finally says because he can’t concentrate with the way Clark is hovering, and they really do have lives to save. The building may be empty but if the bombs explode, it’s still going to fall, and they can’t evacuate the entire city. There’s not enough time.

“Loser does whatever the winner wants?” Clark asks even as he’s slowly moving away. He’s probably already located the other bomb.

“Whatever, just go,” Bruce bites out, keeping his eyes on the bomb. If the middle wire connects to the timer and the explosives, it’ll have to be the right one, but there sometimes they’re designed with a failsafe, and he has to make sure he won’t accidentally blow himself up in the process of disarming it.

That whatever costs Bruce everything because eleven seconds later Clark is back with a shit eating grin on his face. It’s very much purely Clark without any trace of Superman. Superman wouldn’t gloat like this.

“B, look, look,” he says as he holds up the disassembled bomb. “Nine seconds. Are you done yet or do you want me to do that one too?”

It takes Bruce another five and a half seconds to disassemble his bomb. It’s an impressive time, even by his standards but it’s still too slow to beat Clark in any way. They don’t have time to discuss it either way because Luthor has finally shown up to participate in the fight himself. Bruce has no doubt that he’s come armed to the teeth with Kryptonite, which is why he shoves the bomb into his arms and has him on the outer perimeter until Lex is dealt with.

Bruce doesn’t have to worry – they’ve taken down Luthor before, and it’s a wonder the man doesn’t get smarter with his planning. Lex may be smart, but he’s no match to Shayera’s mace – or rage, for that matter. She and John are having problems again (not that Bruce listens to the gossip, but Clark likes to small talk before going to bed) and she’s channeling her frustrations beautifully in Bruce’s opinion. Too bad he doesn’t condone killing, because getting squashed by an angry Thanagarian would be a glorious end to Luthor’s constant attacks. Too good an end, now that Bruce thinks about it.

As far as “don’t let Luthor kill Superman and/or take over the Earth” missions go this one is pretty straightforward and easy to wrap up. As is his civic duty (that he greatly enjoys, despite denying the fact) Clark takes Luthor to jail and the rest of the League clean what havoc they can and then they go their separate ways. Shayera and John fly off together which Bruce takes to mean that they’re good. He’s not exactly an expert but he thinks the flirty comments they throw at each other when he’s in earshot is enough proof that they’re okay again.

Bruce – with his lack of superpowers – travels back to the batcave to do his reports. He’d do them at the Watchtower, but this was their fifth mission this week alone and everybody needs a break, even superheroes. He’ll send the reports and they’ll go through them next time there’s an official meeting. With their luck it won’t be many days before they have to meet up again.

It being Friday means that Tim and Duke are patrolling the city. Bruce knows Jason is out there too but he’s not on the official patrol schedule, despite enjoying the official after-patrol cookies Alfred makes. It’ll be a few hours before Bruce has to take over and he decides to grab a much-needed shower and if he’s lucky, a quick powernap.

Bruce isn’t lucky, he never is. He has time for the shower but when he’s dressed in his sweats and goes down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, Clark is there. And he’s smiling like he just won the lottery. Bruce sighs but doesn’t stop his planned route to the coffee machine.

“So,” Clark says.

“So,” Bruce echoes. There is no way Clark has somehow forgotten about that silly bet. Bruce can only hope he’ll want something fun. Sex in the cave showers sounds good right now, actually. He fills his cup and turns to Clark, leaning against the counter. Perhaps he can convince Clark that ‘whatever the winner wants’ is actually whatever Bruce wants. Clark is usually up for that.

Bruce is going to rip ‘usually’ out of the dictionary after today.

“I won the bet,” Clark says, smile so big Bruce’s cheeks sympathy-hurt just from looking at him.

“Which was awfully unprofessional of you to suggest,” Bruce says because he has to come up with something. He really doesn’t want to fly over Metropolis on Clark’s back or go shopping for flowers or God forbid, have a weekly cooking-together night. He likes watching Clark cook, he doesn’t have to participate for it to be romantic.

“You’re just grumpy because you lost,” Clark teases.

“I’m sure you cheated somehow.”

“Et tu, Bruce? That’s a really hurtful accusation, you know,” Clark says with his stupid puppy dog eyes on full blast. Bruce actually feels bad for a moment.

“Fine, I’m sorry,” Bruce grumbles. “What do you want?”

It’s a whole other context he’s used to asking that particular question. Or maybe not. It depends on whether or not Clark picks up on the subtle hints Bruce is throwing his way. He’s doing that head tilting thing Clark enjoys, because it exposes his entire neck and while his sweats aren’t exactly what you’d call sexy, they’re loose enough that his collarbone is peaking out too. Bruce knows how much Clark enjoys peppering kisses all over Bruce’s shoulders and neck.

“For you to wear this,” Clark says eagerly as he pulls something from behind his back. Bruce hadn’t even noticed how he’s standing, hiding his hands and whatever’s in them.

It’s a flower.

Bruce does not have enough plant knowledge to name the exact kind, but it looks like a subspecies of a lily. A blue lily. Bruce has never seen anything like it and immediately he narrows his eyes at it. Has Clark been in contact with Ivy again? Just because she knows flowers, doesn’t mean Clark should ask her for advice. This will end up like that time she suggested he bring a potted plant home for Batman (Ivy is no fool; she can see right through them) and it nearly ended up eating Bruce’s face off.

“Wear the flower,” Bruce says to make sure he heard correctly. It’s not the worst-case scenario he imagined – unless it truly is one of Pamela’s creations – but it is nowhere near as fun as sex in the shower would be. He could go for another shower if Clark’s in there with him.

“Yep,” Clark says and then steps closer. He stops a foot away from Bruce and then frowns. “But you’ll have to change first.”

“Change?”

“Yes. For our date,” Clark responds like it’s the most natural thing in the world. It might be to him, but this is the first Bruce has heard of this. He might need more than half a second to figure out the proper reaction.

“I have patrol,” Bruce says. He feels bad; he knows they don’t have much time for dates since getting together. They try to grab dinner together at least once a week but it’s not always they succeed. Bruce has patrol and Clark has his Superman duties. There’s a lot to factor in before they do a typical dinner and a movie date like other couples. More often than not they don’t even make it to the dinner part of the date when they finally have the time – although that isn’t something Bruce minds. Clark is very… passionate. In every aspect of his life.

“Not anymore,” Clark says confidently. “I talked to the boys.”

Bruce wants to be happy and supportive of this idea, but his boys need their off time too. More so than Bruce does; he’s used to the never-ending fight, he chose it. They didn’t, not really. They have lives to attend to too, school and friends, and Bruce is trying to prioritize the not-bat related parts of their lives more. He sighs and tries for a smile. He hopes it comes across apologetic.

“They need a break too, Clark,” he says. “I can’t just-”

“Not those boys, silly,” Clark interrupts with a soft laugh. “Your oldest.”

Of course, Clark has thought this through properly before offering his plans to Bruce. He knows better than to not to so, but Bruce still feels weird handing all of his responsibilities off to Dick. They’ve talked about this, it’s something Bruce has been adamant about wanting to get better at. Clark has helped tremendously in that area as well.

“Dick has his own patrols to-” Bruce argues but once again Clark has an answer ready before he’s even finished speaking.

“Oh no, he agreed that he can split the Gotham patrol while we’re out,” he says and grins. There’s something mischievous about that grin and it takes Bruce a second to realize what he’s saying.

“Split? With whom?” Bruce asks. “Damian isn’t going alone.” He’s not ready, Bruce doesn’t say, but he doesn’t have to. Clark already knows this. It’s another one of those topics Bruce is learning to share with Clark. His children, his family. It’s a slow process, but he’s trying.

“Jason,” Clark says and his grin doubles in size when Bruce gapes like a fish.

“You- you got Jason to agree to go on patrol? With Dick?”

“Yes,” he says simply.

“How?”

“That’s my little secret,” Clark says with a wink and then starts gently shoving Bruce towards the stairs. “I’ve already planned everything so all you have to do it wear the outfit Alfred has laid out for you.”

Bruce is too stunned to speak. When he gets to his room there is indeed a full outfit on his bed. How Alfred managed to do that behind his back is beyond him, especially considering that he was in here less than fifteen minutes ago. How long has Clark been planning this thing? There’s no way he could’ve known about today’s mission so how the hell has he managed to not only get Dick on board but also convinced Jason to help out?

“Hurry up, B,” Clark calls from downstairs. “We have reservations at seven!”

Bruce gets dressed and heads downstairs, despite wanting to refuse to do anything before he’s gotten an explanation. He knows it won’t get him anywhere. If Alfred is already in on this, it’s not going to be dangerous in any way and Bruce likes seeing Clark rocking on his feet because he’s so excited. Happiness suits him more than anyone else Bruce knows.

“Alright,” Bruce says instead of delving into how beautiful he thinks Clark is. It’s not the time for that right now. Maybe later. Definitively later. “I’m dressed. Now where are we going?”

“You look amazing,” Clark says and ignores his question. Smart move. If he answers one, Bruce won’t stop asking. Clark knows him too well.

“I’m guessing you requested the outfit.” Bruce holds his arms out to the side and does a little spin just to complete the image. He does prefer to wear all black, but he can appreciate a good navy turtleneck as well. Sadly, the outfit doesn’t tell him anything about where they’re going. The reservations Clark spoke of must mean a restaurant, but where will Clark take him that won’t be ruined by the fact that it’s Bruce Wayne and handsome hunk going out? He really needs to figure out a way to edit some of the headlines he’s been seeing recently.

“I do like you in that turtleneck,” Clark says appreciatively. His eyes are warm as he looks Bruce up and down. Like he can’t get enough of him.

“You like me in everything,” Bruce deflects even as a smile tugs at his lips. There’s a certain kind of thrill he gets every time Clark unapologetically stares at him. Because he’s allowed to do that now, is what he always says. It makes Bruce feel like a teenager again, trying to look pretty for his crush. This time however he doesn’t even have to try; Clark loves him either way. It’s a deeply comforting thought on tough days.

“That’s true,” Clark says easily. Unlike Bruce he doesn’t have a hard time being honest about his feelings. “Come here so I can put the flower in your hair.”

“It’s just going to fall out, you know that, right?”

“There’s no crime fighting tonight, and I borrowed a clip from Barbara,” Clark says, determination in his voice. He truly believes they’ll have a normal evening out tonight and it almost makes Bruce feel bad for suggesting it won’t. Almost. It’s still a big flower he has to wear in his hair.

The second part of Clark’s sentence hits him way too late. Clark is already fumbling with the flower and then small clip.

“From Barb- is everybody in on this?” Bruce asks and nearly jerks his head out of Clark’s grip. He really doesn’t want bald spots though, so he keeps still.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Clark shrugs. “Funny how cooperative all your kids are when they get to plan something behind your back.”

“They’re not all my kids,” Bruce mutters. He crosses his arms over his chest with minimal difficulty. Clark is standing very close. “This is insane,” he says, a little louder.

“I think you mean romantic,” Clark singsongs. All he needs are sparkles flying around him and he’s a modern-day Disney prince.

“Do I even want to know how you pulled this off?” Bruce asks gruffly. He’s getting impatient; how much time does it take to fasten a damn flower?

“Probably not, no,” Clark says honestly and then steps back. “There we go. You look beautiful.”

“Despite the flower, you mean.”

“It matches your eyes,” Clark responds. It’s too easy for him to discard Bruce’s snide remarks these days. Perhaps they’ve spent too much time together recently. Or maybe Bruce contributes more to those late-night small talks than he was aware of. “Oh, just one more thing.”

Before Bruce has time to react, Clark has closed that small two-inch gap between them. His large hands keep Bruce in place at the small of his back; not that he’s thinking of moving anywhere except closer. Maybe he can still take Clark’s mind off leaving the manor at all tonight. A guy can hope.

Clark glances at the flower in his hair and Bruce knows he’s lost the going-out war, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he has to lose the before-we-go-out battle. He presses closer against Clark, tilting his head slightly. It’s not exactly a provocation but it’s close enough that Clark huffs out a laugh and then surges forward to capture Bruce’s lips with his own.

They’re not past the point where they could do this all day – Bruce isn’t sure they’ll ever get there, and he find he doesn’t actually mind. He loves kissing Clark almost as much as Clark loves kissing him. It’s not a competition but there is nothing Bruce can do to deny how much Clark loves kissing him. It’s clear in the way Clark grips Bruce so tightly, cradles his jaw as if he’ll break, grabs a fistful of his hair to force his head back. How he kisses every part of Bruce that he is allowed to, that he can reach. He’ll spend hours peppering kisses across Bruce’s chest, his neck and stomach. He’ll brush his lips gently over Bruce’s knuckles, kiss the tips of his fingers. He kisses the tops of Bruce’s ears because it’s where he can feel the flush in his face the most and Clark loves getting Bruce to blush. He’ll flick his tongue against Bruce’s skin, caress his lips tenderly, suck on his tongue until Bruce gasps for air.

Today is no different. Clark presses close and sucks the air straight out of Bruce’s lungs. That’s what it feels like anyway. He parts Bruce’s lips carefully, always so gentle (unless asked to be something else) and then promptly twists his tongue around Bruce’s, tasting every part of his mouth he can reach. Which is all of it, apparently, or he’s just doing a stellar job at trying to get to every crevice.

Bruce moans with the force of the kiss and oh God, he really doesn’t want to go out tonight. All he wants to do is wrap his legs around Clark’s hips and pull at his hair until he flies them both upstairs. Preferably Bruce will then spend the next hour or two either on his back or knees and they’ll forget about that stupid flower.

When Clark pulls back his lips are shiny with their spit and Bruce can’t tear his eyes away. He’s just about to pull Clark back in when he moves back a few steps.

“Um,” he says with a sheepish grin. “Let’s- let’s get going.”

Bruce ignores the disappointed twitch in his pants and grunts out what is supposedly an affirmative. He’s going to have to clear his mind if they’re going to make it anywhere without BRUCE WAYNE – FALLEN HARD FOR HIS NEWEST BEAU headlines on every newspaper. Stupid Clark and his stupid mouth and the stupid bet with the stupid flower…

The reservations Clark has made for them are for a little hole-in-the-wall place in Metropolis. It’s warm and comfortable and much smaller than the restaurants Bruce usually goes to. It’s perfect. Clark is on a first name basis with most of the staff but pretends like he doesn’t already know every single item on the menu. It’s oddly endearing because Bruce knows for a fact that this man would do anything for him so of course he’s already made sure there isn’t a single thing on the menu that Bruce doesn’t like or can’t have.

There are a few stares as they walk down the street, but they parked the car close enough to the restaurant that it’s not a bother. For once Clark actually agreed that they should just take one of Bruce’s cars, although he did insist on driving so that their destination would continue to be a surprise until the last second. And to be completely fair Bruce isn’t sure if the stares are because Bruce Wayne is in Metropolis or because two men are walking down the street hand in hand. He hopes for the first but won’t be surprised if it’s the latter.

It isn’t until they get inside the restaurant that Bruce realizes it may be neither of those things. Because he catches a glimpse of himself in the window and notices that blue monstrosity in his hair. He sighs and tries to smile at the waitress leading them to their table, despite her glancing at his hair every two seconds. If only Clark would say something, but he’s pretending not to notice.

Besides the stares they (Bruce) are on the receiving end of, dinner is terrific. Clark is the perfect gentleman, as always, they bicker and talk freely because they’ve been seated at a private booth and the place isn’t full enough that they have to be careful with what they say. Of course, there are limits and Bruce has made sure Clark knows where and what they are. He doesn’t have to worry, Clark is just as tightlipped with his identity as Bruce is, if not more.

It isn’t until dessert that Bruce finally realizes why Clark has made such a tremendous effort to get him to agree on a date. Across his cheesecake, in blue glitter, it says: Happy Anniversary. Bruce stares at the plate for a solid ten seconds before slowly raising his head. He feels horrible. Absolutely, completely horrible. He forgot their anniversary?!

“I am so-”

“Don’t start that,” Clark interrupts. He’s still smiling. “I know how busy you’ve been lately, and the actual date isn’t until Monday, but I know you won’t have time to go out on a weekday.” He reaches across the table to grab Bruce’s hand. “And the boys couldn’t exactly help me out if they had to get up early for work and school.”

“Still, I should’ve remembered, I’m really s-”

“I said don’t.” Clark squeezes his hand. “Do you know how often I get to surprise you?”

“You surprise me plenty,” Bruce says.

“Not like this,” Clark retorts. “Not without you having figured everything out halfway through the date. This was just as much for me as it was for you.”

“You’re being way too nice about this.”

“Well,” Clark says with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me.”

Bruce rests chin on his free hand as he watches Clark’s beautiful face in the flickering candlelight. He lowers his voice as he says: “I’m sure I will.”

The next day Bruce is finishing some reports in the cave when curiosity gets the best of him. He still hasn’t been able to figure out how Clark pulled all of this off, not even after… interrogating him all night long. Clark is a stubborn man. Bruce loves that about him, at least when they’re in the bed together.

Bruce roams through the mess on his table – Clark really doesn’t know how to keep order, not even in Bruce’s things – and finds the bombs from yesterday. He carefully examines them, one by one, and by the time he’s done, he carefully puts them back down before picking up his phone.

It turns out the bomb Clark “disassembled” was faulty. Which is the only reason why he made the bet in the first place. Bruce is going to kill him. The thought and planning may have been sweet and caring and very Clark of him, but the humiliation? The stress he put Bruce through? The two full hours (Clark has excellent stamina) of Bruce clinging to the damn flower because “if you drop it, I’m gonna stop, Bruce, and you don’t want that, do you?”

He sends a text off to Pamela – two can play the flower game and if Clark wants to humiliate Bruce (with a romantic and sweet date night celebrating their anniversary, a fact which Bruce ignores for now), Bruce will make sure he lives to regret that decision for the rest of his life. The text is encrypted, obviously, he’s no fool and it’s not like he’s going to get a flesh-eating plant from her. She might have a few extra baggies of pollen left that she’ll be willing to hand over if Batman looks the other way next time she “peacefully protests” a forest being cut down.

Nobody comments on the fact that Bruce keeps the blue lily carefully on display in his study. Clark might have a scolding incoming, but it doesn’t diminish his earlier efforts. And Bruce happens to like blue lilies. He’ll have to ask Ivy if she can replicate the actual plant for him while she’s at it.

#misha writes #hi yeah no I didn't think I was gonna finish this today but here we are #distraction method number 1: just write superbat #superbat fanfiction #Clark Kent/bruce wayne #anon prompts

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eponymous-rose · 4 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E127 (March 2, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are, of course, Ashley Johnson and Marisha Ray!

Marisha, on her thought process behind the date: “It was a fascinating study on designing something with another player in trying to navigating how to do that in a way that makes sense and wouldn’t be too metagamey or overly scripted or anything like that. I had a bunch of ideas thought out, then I just typed it out and sent it over to him, and then he interpreted it as such.” Liam had ideas, but Marisha wanted him to keep the details a surprise. The theme of “let’s start over” was the leading motif for the design. Three acts: pre-game cocktails at the Nestled Nook, picnic in a field of Xhorhasian wildflowers, and then close it with after-dinner drinks and hot tub at the Steam’s Respite. And the very last thing was “and all the cats were dogs”. Brian: “What was his response to that?” Marisha: “He texted me and was like, ‘Are you serious or is this dog thing a joke?’”

Ashley is asked what it was like to know it was coming but not know the specifics. “For both of us, I don’t think we thought it was going to be right then. I think because it’s been so long in the relationship between Beau and Yasha and it felt like such a natural progression for the two of them, and they’re both awkward together. I think there was something to just being thrown into it.” She spent time thinking about what things Yasha would talk to Beau about on a date. “We got to maybe one of them. It was just so fun! Exploring romance in D&D can be super weird, especially when you’re streaming. But it felt like that’s where our characters were going. There was that excitement of trying something that is out of my comfort zone, and I think so much of Marisha was part of that, as being the initiator as Beau, where I was like, okay, this is where it’s going it. Let’s do it, let’s see what happens!” She mentions how “fun and freeing” it is to trust your improv partner in something like this.

Marisha: “I just wanted Beau to be a fuckboi!” But she highlights that it’s hard to deny the deeper connections that come up in D&D scenarios. “They’ve been with each other through so much that it’s difficult to deny when those bonds start to happen.” She texted Liam in a panic before the game. “What do I wear? And he said, ‘In the game or in real life?’ Both!”

Marisha was expecting a Sam curveball at some point. “My/Beau’s reaction of ‘I love you!’ was pretty accurate. She does care! She’s not just a troll trying to ruin our shit.”

Marisha on Yasha liking dogs: “I clocked that shit when you bought a dog figurine.” She keeps notes about all the members of the party when they reveal things like that.

Ashley has started taking more detailed notes, partly to play catch-up for events she may have missed earlier. “Turns out, notes are very helpful and can help you in your RPing!”

Favorite parts? Marisha: “The fade-to-black moment at the very end, and I think it’s because Ashley’s eyes--maybe this is going to get weird--we had this moment where we were in the hot tub at the end, and I looked over and was like, ‘hey’, and you looked over and were like, ‘hey’, and I was just dead. I will never forget the look on Ashley’s face. There was just a pure moment.” Ashley: “That’s so funny, because I was going to talk about this one moment with Marisha. It’s just clicking into the scene and clicking into the moment.” Marisha talks about how the moments associated with the game have real, tangible emotional connections. Brian highlights that the emotional side of things is what you remember the most after the campaign is done.

Character thoughts on Kima? Marisha: “I was like, step on me! Please! Both of you! We’d be friends.” Ashley: “It’s also that nostalgia that feels so good at the table. These characters we know and love are still living and breathing and happy together and just kicking ass. For Yasha it was an amazing example of a relationship that works in this world, and something beautiful that these people who are different but are connecting. It was a lot of-- it was cool. I think Yasha’s a very big fan of Kima and Allura. When she gave over the sword, Travis texted me and was like, it’s the Holy Avenger. Looking it up and talking about it, it was like, holy mackerel, this sword is insane. But there’s going to have to be some conversations had to attune with the sword. But I like that Matt presented that challenge, that this isn’t necessarily in your class, but let’s do some RP and see what happens.”

Where’s Yasha at with the Stormlord right now? “I’m curious to explore that more, but knowing that the Stormlord was the first person to bring her back to her own will, of pulling her out of whatever was happening with Oban and the Laughing Hand for however long. It’s also weird to see the relationship that the clerics have, and I think Yasha’s still figuring out how to be her own person, but also... not serving somebody, but still trying to figure out that relationship with her god. But again, he saved her from a very, very dark place, and I think that’s something she values and holds on to.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Essek! (Blushingvioletcosplay on Instagram)

How is Beau handling the Eyes? “All the theories! It’s hard for it to not feel like a ticking time bomb. I always have to try and separate my theories from Beau’s theories. That’s acting and shit. I, Marisha, am very interested if I can somehow utilize this to our advantage. Beau, also interested but simultaneously terrified that it might be a bad idea and I might just get further initiated. When it comes to Matt, you know there’s always something more lurking underneath all of this. As players it’s kind of our job to navigate that.”

How about Yasha? “I think it’s one of the things that didn’t really come up in the date, which is funny, because it’s something I was thinking about. Me as a player, that’s something I’m extremely stressed about. We don’t know what’s going to happen. We kind of got into it, but I think the fact that Lucien was listening, and the Eyes, I think it made me as a player as Yasha very nervous about interacting with Beau, because I don’t know what they’re picking up on. There’s so much we don’t know, and Lucien is so confusing, and the Eyes, and with Matt... we don’t know! It’s a point of extreme concern for Yasha, especially someone that she has feelings for and cares about, it’s an extra level of I don’t know what this means and I can’t lose this person, but I need to protect at all costs.”

What was it like for Beau to discover that Dairon and the Soul not only listened but took action? “That moment was so deeply powerful. Honestly, I was just as taken aback as Beau was. I never in both mine or Beau’s thought process did I think Matt would take action in that way, or that would ever be handled. And I think that’s what makes it so emotional. You condition yourself to think these things just happen, so much so that they permeate your D&D game. So rarely do abusers get held accountable for their actions. What was powerful about it was that he was, and other people cared. That alone was so emotionally impactful, and I was completely thrown by it. I feel like I had to walk away from that situation kind of unpacking those things. What does that say, what does that mean? Same thing for Beau, where the cycle of abuse has happened repeatedly to her with no repercussions to anyone who’s causing it. It’s why she’s always had a weird tenuous relationship with the Soul. It throws you into these layers of reconciliation and thought. I didn’t think this was going to be addressed. What does that say about society? So many different layers to peel back. It all speaks to so many real-life experiences that happen every damn day to so many people. There’s not many examples in media of abusers getting handled, and especially not in a way that’s not some sort of device to motivate somebody.” She highlights how rare it is that the abuser was handled without pulling the victim into the mess. I’m definitely not doing what she’s saying justice with my speed-typing.

How is Yasha feeling about solidifying her identity as a protector? “Putting together this character and starting to play as her, there was a part of me that wanted-- when I work on characters, you go through the list of questions you have as an actor, what’s your motivation and all that stuff. But I very much wanted to see if I could have a character that doesn’t necessarily know what their purpose is, because I feel like a lot of people feel that way. I think when we see movies or TV shows, there’s always a character who says, I know what my purpose is. I wanted to explore what it meant to not know what that is. I left that open with Yasha, and I didn’t want to set that for her, because I thought that was an interesting thing. I still like that idea, but in the conversation with Beau and knowing the date was coming up, there were a lot of internal conversations I was having of how is Yasha feeling in this moment. At the end of the day, I feel that’s a very solid purpose for Yasha in this moment, of all I can really provide is protection - and of course she can provide more than that. But now I’m just, yeah, I think protection for her is the best way she knows how to describe her purpose.” Brian: “And once we arrive there, the goal is to find a greater purpose, to be of service.” Ashley has tied in Yasha’s protectiveness with her grappling with loss.

Fan art of the week: A second amazing Essek! (by Saturday_sky)

Thoughts on the amulets: set-up or bad luck? Ashley: “I thought they were a set-up!” Marisha: “I think [Astrid’s] an opportunist. But I think it’d be much more convenient if anyone other than her killed Trent. To what end, I don’t know.” Ashley: “Me, personally, how I interpreted her crying in that alleyway, I felt like she was crying because of a betrayal. But I don’t know! I think she definitely cares for Caleb.” Marisha: “I also got betrayal tears. That felt like guilt-crying to me.” Brian: “I don’t like any of this.”

What prompted Beau going full assassin? “If they were to get in and out and I could have jumped over that tower without killing that guy, I would have.” She didn’t have a lot of options as a monk and not a rogue assassin, but needed a quick and quiet way to get him out of the way. “I went through so many ideas in my head. I thought of an idea to dump all of the ball bearings under him, then light fireworks” to try to get him to fall off the edge.

Is Yasha’s hope for Molly still alive? “Yes. I think that because Yasha has been on the other end of doing terrible things under someone else’s influence, she has a lot of forgiveness for people. At this point, of course, it’s hope that he’ll come back or have some type of recognition of his life as Molly. There’s a lot of questions. I don’t think she’ll ever give up on him.” The only moment of hesitation was when Lucien was cool with Gelidon leaving with Beau.

How are they feeling about their odds? Ashley: “I feel really great about the ideas that the group has to get out of tricky situations. This one I’m nervous about.” Marisha: “I agree. We have our little side player thread, minus Matt, and I don’t see how we’re getting out of this without some sort of compromise that’s not necessarily in our favor. I think we’re going to get out of it, but I don’t think we’re going to get out of it completely.”

Ashley didn’t tell Brian about the date after the episode ended, but wound up blurting it out right before he was about to watch the episode for Talks.

#long text post #critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers

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masterjedilenawrites · 4 years ago

Note

How are the clones' first experience in dealing with their s/o who gets super moody when she's nearing her period?

May or may not have saved this question for when I'm on my own period for more authenticity. Like method acting... method writing? Is that a thing? ANYwaaaay...

Jesse and Dogma would freak out, not gonna lie. They would not handle this first experience well. It would probably even be the first time they ever get into a fight with their S/O. Things would've been going very well, very lovey-dovey, and then all of a sudden she seems to be... different. Temperamental. Unpredictable. They do not like it, and do not respond well. But when they learn it's related to her period, they are ashamed. They will be much more careful next time not to let things get out of hand like that.

Kix would be, surprisingly, confused and clueless. Sure, he's seen it all when it comes to his brothers' health; everything from broken limbs to drunken stupors. But the female body? That he isn't so experienced with. And he just... does not know what to do about it. Why is she crying? Why is she ignoring me? Oh wait, now she's yelling? WTF?! He tries to do some research but doesn't like when he finds out there isn't much he can do, just let her emotions run their course and do his best to hang in there.

Tup, Fives, and Fox would be overly-accommodating. They would only see their S/O as being in distress, in need of help, and would bend over backwards trying to cater to her every changing emotion. Which, quite frankly, is exhausting and probably unnecessary, but their S/O certainly won't complain about being spoiled... or maybe she will, just because she suddenly feels like it. These poor boys will feel really bad if she does push them away or get angry, so she'll need to reassure them later it was just mother nature messing with her, and she still loves them.

Hunter would be patient. He is sensitive to her physical vibes, the discomfort and pain her body is in, even detecting the internal processes going on. He isn't grossed out by any of it, he knows it's a part of her nature and not something she'd ever choose if she could. So even when she channels that pain through her behavior, getting easily upset or completely withdrawing, he doesn't take it personally. He patiently takes whatever treatment she gives him and then immediately forgets about it. He'll never hold anything from this time against her.

Wrecker and Hardcase would be a bit oblivious. Sure, she doesn't feel like doing anything, but maybe they haven't suggested the right activity yet? And yes she's speaking bluntly and cursing under her breath and complaining of a headache, but it's nothing a nice hug won't cure. Right? Wrong, boys. Very wrong. It may just take their S/O snapping at them to take a kriffing hint before they pause and go, huh, maybe something's happening. It will take them a few more times before things start to click and they can be a little more helpful.

Rex, Crosshair, and Echo would try to keep their distance, at least with any of the more irritable moods. They are not interested in a confrontation with their S/O, especially if they know it's a result of her period, so as soon as she's in attack mode they quickly remove themselves from the situation and don't return until it's 100% safe. If her mood changes to something more tearful and weepy, then they'll crawl back a little sooner, placing a tentative arm around her and trying their best to comfort, despite still feeling like she's a ticking time bomb.

Cody and Wolffe wouldn't bat an eye. Even if they don't connect the dots to that time-of-the-month, they're usually not perturbed by any mood their S/O displays. They may have already picked up on some things that work from other bad days she had before this time, knowing when to indulge in her negativity and when to calm her down. They may be a little curious about the cause of the emotions, because they do like to fix things, but if they sense she has up any walls then they won't pry.

Tech would be prepared. He knew when the time was coming (best not to ask how), and he's always been curious about these things, not being around a lot of girls most his life but coming across the concepts randomly in his research binges to want to know more. He'll analyze his S/O's behavior and point out that her sudden mood swings are most likely an indication she's nearing her "lady time." He will be very surprised at the outburst that follows, and in the future find more subtle ways to analyze her.

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shihalyfie · 4 years ago

Text

A meta and analysis on Takaishi Takeru

Of all of the Tokyo Chosen Children, Takeru is lucky enough to get significant attention for two full series from beginning to end, and his character also goes through some drastic changes in the process, especially through Adventure and 02. There’s so much going on with him that it makes it hard to give a short answer to the question “what is Takeru like?” because there’s so much you could say about him at so many different times.

Fortunately, that’s what we’re here to talk about today!

Takeru in Adventure

At first glance, Takeru seems to be the “tagalong kid” -- the obligatory “little kid character” you have whenever you have a party in a fantasy story. Generally, these “obligatory kid characters” are the kind constantly struggling to catch up with the older ones. Adventure being a series that loves to play with tropes and expectations, though, very quickly says no to that.

Seki: ...We also mixed up the children’s ages, for a bit of variety. Kakudou: The oldest one would be the most unreliable, and the smartest one would be one of the third youngest. Just a little to throw you off the usual, conventional track. Seki: The youngest one would feel too much like a burden to everyone else, and conversely would actually have himself together.

Takeru “doesn’t want to be a burden” -- meaning his feelings on this issue are actually rather much like Hikari’s. Unlike Hikari, though, Takeru reacts to this compulsion differently -- instead of simply repressing things and pretending the problem doesn’t exist, Takeru’s reaction to his own negative feelings is to “have himself together” and act as if he’s got everything under control.

Or, more accurately, pretend he has it together and has everything under control.

Takeru, for all intents and purposes, was not supposed to be on the camping trip the others were on, not having gone to everyone’s school -- he had to get special permission to go. Takeru’s family is very, very split harshly at this time, with his mother not even able to treat Yamato comfortably. Yamato deals with the familial estrangement badly -- alternating between approaching everyone awkwardly and exploding like an emotional fuse bomb -- but Takeru tries to take it as a sign that he needs to be “responsible”. A lot of his actions in Adventure are him basically exuding this aura of “I can take care of myself!”, and in fact he works very hard to “assert” himself as if he were yet another peer. We even see him make the complaint directly in Adventure episode 43 -- while he is correct in calling out Yamato for coddling him and him only while recklessly disregarding the others, the fact he specifically complains about Yamato approaching him as someone holding them back if he’s not protected reveals a lot about his own mentality regarding the situation.

One of his first major scenes in episode 2 is him offering his own food for the pile of supplies everyone has, even though it’s just snacks. Which is, probably, a pretty accurate summary of Takeru’s character at this point: on the surface he’s responsible, well-behaved, and capable...but, in fact, he’s still about as immature as an average eight-year-old child would predictably be.

Yamato spends his Adventure character arc pretty openly angsting about his relationship to Takeru and how his family’s split has affected them, but throughout the entirety of Adventure (and, eventually, 02 as well), not only does Takeru rarely if ever touch on it, there are indications that Takeru deliberately tries to dodge the subject or not dwell on it too much. In Adventure episode 12, he actually outright lies to Patamon about his younger childhood memories, claiming he “probably doesn’t remember” anything about it despite the audience very clearly being shown that he very much did, and in episode 26 he comes very close to leaking his actual feelings about the group being separated being tied to what happened to his family, before quickly covering it up and trying to move on with the topic.

In other words, unlike Hikari, who knows exactly what she’s feeling but is compulsively unable to vocalize them, Takeru actively suppresses his negative feelings and tries not to dwell on them too much. Again, this comes from his desire to “not be a burden” on others -- he’s got this situation under control! Everything is fine!

And this has a very, very nasty payoff. While Yamato clearly deals with his emotional issues badly, tending to get very explosive about it, Takeru’s way of coping isn’t actually all that much better in the long run, because Yamato’s frustration and openness about his emotions at least lead him to being very straightforward about his feelings, incredibly self-aware and sometimes even self-conscious, and ultimately able to get at least some degree of catharsis from the situation. Takeru...not so much.

Takeru is a child, no matter how much he tries not to act like one, and it ultimately results in him reacting disastrously whenever something hits him too emotionally hard -- which results in Takeru suddenly becoming irrationally stubborn and even angry. We later see what it takes to actually break through Takeru’s facade of “totally having this together” in Adventure episode 22, which is also the first time he openly breaks down wailing in front of anyone besides Patamon -- and it’s, of course, when PicoDevimon convinces him that Yamato hates him. The interesting part is that this is so blatantly a lie that even Tokomon is able to quickly call bullshit on it, but Takeru, previously having worked so hard to maintain this facade of being responsible, falls for it completely with utter irrationality -- and it really does suggest that Takeru’s fear of losing yet another member of his family, and being a burden to Yamato, runs so deep that it causes that entire facade to shatter in one blow.

Which is where the problem lies: Takeru’s habit of suppression is so bad that once one of his triggers is hit, he completely loses all sense of rationality and blows up, and it becomes nearly impossible to reason with him because he locks down on becoming stubborn. It’s also dangerous because even he isn’t particularly self-aware of what he’s doing when he blows up like this; at least Hikari was very consciously aware of her suppression problem, but Takeru never really seems to have any awareness of the fact that his covering up of his feelings is directly related to some of his worst moments. We see it cause problems between him and Patamon again in Adventure episode 33, when Patamon asks a rather innocuous question about the brothers, and it hits Takeru’s trigger so badly that he snaps at him, resulting in the fight that kicks off the plot of the episode.

Adventure episode 52 is basically a major test for Takeru as to whether he really can hold himself together in a situation where everyone else older than him is gone, and “having himself together” is something he has to actually do instead of just have the surface facade of. He does, ultimately, pass, and this is why the Crest of Hope glows this episode -- but it’s also made clear that it wasn’t quite as easy for him as he would normally pretend it is. Of course, it also helps that Piemon is genuinely the scariest threat they’d faced during that time, but it also reveals that, yeah, ultimately, Takeru is an eight-year-old child who still has to struggle to put on a brave face so that Hikari doesn’t get impacted by his own fear.

For all it’s worth, although we get a ton of depth into his background and mentality, Takeru does not actually change that much as a character over the course of Adventure. This incident is probably what changes him the most in terms of him gaining a more solid core, and he also learns to accept the inevitability of fighting after his stubborn refusal to engage in it all the way back in Adventure episode 12 -- but for the most part he still does remain a bit naive about the world at large, and, more importantly, his issue with trying to cover up his problems with a confident smile never really gets addressed. At most, he’s willing to admit his grief over being separated from Patamon in Adventure episode 54, but even that is something Takeru tries to bounce back from quickly, much like with the first time he cried with Patamon in Adventure episode 12. But there’s nothing to indicate that his problem with emotional management isn’t going to continue being a problem from here on out if left unchecked.

That problem ends up taking another three more years to get addressed.

Takeru in 02

Takeru is one of the first people we meet in 02 (for reasons that end up revealed in the final episode), and right off the bat we learn that he’s a bit...evasive. He leaves a cryptic line to Daisuke about his goggles without coming even close to what we all know is the full extent of what’s on his mind (that the goggles specifically remind him of someone important to him), and later just...deflects Daisuke throwing accusations at him with a mild dismissal. In fact, even though Takeru pretty clearly understands very quickly what’s going on with Daisuke and how touchy he gets with the Hikari issue, he keeps dodging the question and constantly saying things that are evasive about it and therefore never truly helps his case until episode 17, when the circumstances between why Hikari and Takeru knew each other are finally properly clarified to Daisuke and he stops getting on their case about it on his own.

There were multiple points in time before this -- especially in episode 7, when Daisuke is practically at his worst in regards to approaching Takeru -- when Takeru could have easily said something to at least attempt to get Daisuke to stop bothering him, but Takeru never even asks him to cut it out! He simply continues to handle everything with a “yeah, okay, sure! :)” attitude, which of course confuses Daisuke (who’s rather allergic to people not being straightforward) rather thoroughly, and you wonder if he’s practically enjoying seeing Daisuke’s antics to the point he’s just enabling it further.

As a point of aside trivia, the official 02 website adds the fun detail that apparently he's popular with the girls at school but doesn't show much interest in them himself, and the Animedia audio commentary CD for Armor Evolution to the Unknown had his voice actor even express the opinion that he saw Takeru as someone who wasn’t really the type to think about romance at this age (adding in a separate interview for the 02 DVDs that he felt Takeru was respectful of girls primarily due to having been taught by his single mother to be such). The latter part of course isn’t something that comes from the writing, but given the website trivia I’m inclined to personally agree with it -- and, more importantly, the implication is that Takeru is at least aware of these kinds of things, but actively chooses to not think about it and deal with it when the time comes.

So in other words: That part about how Takeru actively suppresses things that are negative or inconvenient to think about, all for the sake of keeping a smile plastered on his face? Yup, still there.

In fact, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment from 02 episode 17 implies heavily that, even with their parents having developed a more cordial relationship after the events of Adventure, Takeru is now emotionally dealing with the aftermath of his parents’ divorce worse than Yamato is, since Yamato is at least able to speak about it casually and even joke about it openly, whereas Takeru keeps his mouth shut and the framing of the shot heavily implies he’s still extremely sensitive and unable to vocalize his feelings on it. Takeru never brings this up as something eating away at him for the entire series -- but BelialVamdemon uses it against him in episode 49, revealing that, yes, this is a problem that’s still tearing away at him, and yet he’s refusing to be open to anyone about it, even to Yamato himself. (Especially since, again, Yamato seems to be doing a great job trying to move forward; why kill his mood and thus be a “burden” to him?)

Even so, Takeru is very different in 02 partially because his circumstances are completely different. Adventure had him as the youngest in a group of older kids, so in terms of “being a responsible child”, that naturally meant being deferential and polite to everyone due to standards of propriety. 02 is where we learn a lot more about how Takeru interacts with peers his own age and people who are outright younger than him, when he has a bit more leeway to be more assertive.

On top of that, back in Adventure, Takeru was a young child who had a very small “range of periphery” -- as a young child still rather naive about the world, his emotional investment in things primarily pertained to loved ones and the people around him. But now that he’s a bit older, he’s gained a certain degree of strong feelings about “what’s the right thing to do”, and now has very strong opinions on it.

These things ultimately manifest in, unfortunately, Takeru losing his composure much more often than he did in Adventure, and for reasons that pertain to much wider things than just his brother. Still not having recovered from the trauma of losing Patamon back in Adventure episode 13, Takeru starts physically fighting Daisuke in 02 episode 11 because he perceives Daisuke as not doing enough to prevent Patamon from potentially becoming a slave to the Kaiser, and in 02 episode 13 he lashes out at Hikari in frustration about her refusal to do anything about her situation (which he of course ends up deeply regretting later in the episode).

Takeru’s infamous scene of suddenly switching modes on the Kaiser and punching him out in 02 episode 19 is basically the pinnacle of this -- because, yes, the Kaiser really did deserve it, but this really is not a good thing for Takeru either. This is Takeru getting the closest we ever see him to being a genuine sadist, and it’s basically everything to do with his emotional stuntedness coming out at once -- blowing up in anger out of nowhere with a passive-aggressive demeanor, succumbing to the weight of his trauma in the worst way possible, and mixing the ^^ front he puts on with his tendency to blow up angrily at anything that cuts him a little too emotionally close.

And for the first time, we see someone actually acknowledge how bad this is. Iori, one of the most consciously perceptive of the group, witnesses, for himself, the sheer jarringness of Takeru seeming to only really have two modes between “all smiles” and “unreasonably angry”. Sure, Takeru had shown a penchant for getting active as soon as there was something he needed to protect, but the moment it got personal, Takeru suddenly blew up in front of his eyes and almost turned into a completely different person. (Perhaps he’s not that different from Yamato after all...)

This is a very important moment because it sets up the base for what ultimately becomes the Jogress arc between Iori and Takeru. Daisuke ended up reaching out to Ken because Ken was someone who needed someone to accept him and teach him to move forward instead of drowning in the past; Miyako ended up reaching out to Hikari because Hikari knew herself to have a suppression problem but had difficulty doing anything about it, so the extremely in-your-face and aggressive Miyako could go in deep. But with Takeru, since his personality is genuinely volatile, and because Takeru goes out of his way to hide the fact he’s having emotional problems, personalities like Daisuke and Miyako wouldn’t help much because they’re too straightforward for someone like this who’s a bit unpredictable -- whereas Iori, who’s assertive but also methodical and thinks through everything consciously, is eventually much better able to reach out to him.

Once the relevant arc kicks in, in 02 episode 34, Iori continues to observe Takeru, and quietly notes the many “contradictions” in Takeru’s behavior -- since, after all, Takeru starts to sometimes violate what you’d think would be common sense whenever he gets too emotionally compromised. The fact that ostensibly one of the outwardly “nicest” kids in this group suddenly blows up in certain circumstances and basically goes “absolutely nope, needs to be killed!” in the midst of a few moral debates over killing sentient Digimon disturbs him deeply, and really, it’s not even about the killing part (after all, it’s later established in 02 episode 43 and after that Takeru and Hikari have a certain degree of acceptance of the inevitability that the others don’t) as much as Takeru’s being pretty gung-ho about it. Not “I don’t like it, but we have to” like he said earlier, but NOPE, GOTTA DO IT.

Iori refers directly to the duality of Takeru that he doesn’t quite understand multiple times in this episode (including in regards to the incident back in 02 episode 19), and it continues to torment him until the end, when Takeru only gives a very cryptic “clarification” that he doesn’t necessarily hate the darkness per se.

Iori, too intimidated to ask Takeru about it directly, goes to ask Yamato in 02 episode 35, and Yamato finally clarifies the background that we as the audience knew but Iori didn't: the story behind Takeru's trauma regarding the loss of Angemon back in Adventure episode 13. Yamato also makes a conjecture about why Takeru has been acting so ambivalent towards Ken -- you'd think he'd still be under Takeru's scorn after the events of 02 episode 19, but in fact Takeru's judgment of him in episode 25 was simply that he was certain something had changed, yet he couldn't tell what he was thinking (really rich coming from someone who refuses to tell anyone else what he's thinking himself!). Yamato guesses that Takeru is inclined to be a bit more forgiving of Ken due to understanding the feeling of losing a partner -- and the ultimate conclusion here is, basically, that Takeru's behavior is contradictory because he's acting based on what's personal to him, not necessarily via principles that make sense. After all, back in Adventure, it was clearly demonstrated that Takeru isn’t exactly rational when things hit too close to home.

The other important thing that happens this episode is that Takeru learns that Iori is actively trying to reach out to him, when Yamato drops him a line informing him that Iori asked. Despite complaining that Iori could have just asked him directly, after Takeru witnesses the face-off between Iori and BlackWarGreymon and a demonstration that Iori is clearly trying his best to make sense out of this entire mess, Takeru actively reaches out to Iori and says something to comfort him -- “a life is beautiful simply by existing.” It’s still cryptic as hell, but it’s not something he would have said in the midst of his anger in prior episodes.

It would be one thing if it were simply that by itself, but the following episodes further push the idea that Takeru really is starting to change after witnessing all of this. 02 episode 36 has him explicitly acknowledge what Iori’s been doing this whole time in trying to understand him for the sake of their Jogress, and, finally, during their meal later that episode, he says, very openly and honestly, that he thinks they’ll be able to do it now. After two instances of Jogress, these kids are very aware of what that entails -- so this is basically Takeru consciously acknowledging to Iori “yes, I understand that you’re trying to reach out to me, and I accept it and want to understand you.” Because Takeru is such a convoluted sort of person, this “understanding” ended up being something that didn’t span a single magical moment as much as it took several episodes and a diplomatic, conscious affirmation on both ends -- but it’s a fitting way to go for someone who had always indicated some pretty poor conscious awareness of where his feelings were taking him.

This is especially because, in 02 episode 37, his statements to comfort Ken are in pretty significant opposition to the sort of anger he’d displayed in earlier episodes, and are now a more pragmatic view of the issue in light of Iori’s efforts and everything he’d just witnessed with BlackWarGreymon -- and to drive the point home, the episode has, at the very end of it, Takeru making his first true explicit show of goodwill towards Ken after having been a bit touchy with him for so many episodes.

Iori himself, being the youngest of the 02 group, still has a lot to learn, and so Takeru, who had previously been one of the youngest in the Adventure group himself, now has his role inverted to effectively be a guiding mentor to Iori as he finds his own way. Basically, Takeru becomes responsible for the welfare of this young child, and so his way of treating Iori is markedly different from the more detached and playful way he would treat others from here on out. This is especially because, earlier, Yamato had informed him that Iori had taken a very roundabout way to help understand him better, and so Takeru probably understands that he scared the hell out of Iori earlier and needs to do better. While the Takeru of 02 episodes 38-50 still has a way of being playful, and while he still isn’t completely straightforward about his intentions, he is definitely much better about being open with the others, especially Iori, instead of doubling down on his “everything-is-fine” mode.

And perhaps this is what the other meaning of “hope” thus became in this situation -- learning to be forward-facing even in the midst of truly knowing and understanding everything that’s wrong with the situation.

Post-02

Although Takeru’s Spring 2003 track is addressed to no one in particular, meaning that it’s the most likely reason he’s so willing to be open about it, Takeru outright admits he’s having problems with his emotions -- especially those pertaining to Angemon’s death. We do, however, learn that Takeru’s started writing the early, early drafts of what’ll eventually end up becoming the novels he writes as a future career.

This being only a year after the events of 02, Takeru’s position is interesting. His decision to start writing is that he wants to have a record of everything before it’s forgotten -- because these things are very personal to him -- but he’s not emotionally ready for the huge task of finalizing everything in words, to the point he still hasn’t told his mother he’s started writing yet. After all, this is a book we eventually find out takes upwards of twenty years, and so this is the presumable reason why -- being able to get this down in a rational way that’s not emotionally compromising is going to be an upwards battle for him.

Even come Kizuna, there’s still a long way for him to go, because an actual line (in a very fast-paced movie) is dedicated to establishing that he’s still uncomfortable with his novel progress to the point he won’t even let Yamato see it. His official character profile and background details are revealing, too -- although he’s currently taking language classes in university and is even part of a children’s literature club, he still hasn’t actually decided on what to do with his future, meaning that he hasn’t determined that he’s going to be a full-time novelist with these yet. That means that even though he’s clearly still clacking away at his novel (multiple indications in the movie are given as such), his memoirs are still at the level of being so deeply personal, and not something he feels comfortable telling well, just yet.

I’ve pointed out before that despite not appearing directly with them in the movie, Takeru and Hikari have more in common with the others in the 02 group than they do with their Adventure seniors, and this is fully codified in the drama CD when Takeru is content to basically just “do whatever” with the rest of his friends instead of having any particular concerns about his future. And as someone who has a tendency to kind of just let his emotions take him wherever they’re going, this isn’t too surprising. Although he approximates as the closest to level-headed during most of the group’s antics during the CD, he’s still completely guilty of enabling them full-force, after all...

So, with the 02 epilogue, we get the massive meta reveal that the entire series was Takeru’s novels the whole time. This was planned to be the ending for Adventure before recording for the first episode had even started, but was postponed to the end of 02 when the second series was greenlit -- and if you’d followed the Japanese version, there are a ton of meta hints scattered around from day one:

The narrator of the series is Hirata Hiroaki, who played Takeru and Yamato’s father, and is revealed in this episode to voice him as an adult as well;

Episode 12 of Adventure is named “Adventure! Patamon and Me” and is the only episode title in Adventure or 02 to use a first-person pronoun -- and it’s of course a Takeru-centric episode, with the episode title using Takeru’s boku;

02′s first episode kicks off narrated by young Takeru opening the story, with Takeru himself suspiciously omitted from the opening vignettes;

02 episode 18 suddenly has the narration cut in when discussing Takeru’s trauma from Adventure episode 13, with the younger Takeru even filling in part of it himself;

02 episode 49′s “next episode” preview for 50 suddenly also starts using “we”, which also includes Takeru’s boku;

Finally, Takeru starts narrating right after Oikawa’s death, which fades into what’s revealed to be his adult voice.

In the context of Adventure, Takeru was “the youngest child”, so the idea makes sense that “the littlest one” would be the one to grow up and reflect on all of the adventures they had as kids -- and once 02 was added, it practically made sense that Takeru would be the one to recap both adventures, being the one person who was there to completely witness both (it also explains why Takeru and Hikari’s character arcs remain somewhat unresolved by the end of Adventure compared to others, since by this time it was apparent their story would be continued in the second series). So on a meta level, Takeru is, in a certain way, one of the most important characters in both groups.

On a level relevant to his personal character arc, on the other hand, the point here is that Takeru finally managed to put together his book and story in a way that he was comfortable telling the entire world about, to the point of choosing to make his entire career into it. That’s something that requires a lot of coming to terms with what happened, how he feels about it, how others feel about it, and everything about the whole ordeal in general, without compromise or (too much) bias.

And in the end, that’s really a lot!

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #takaishi takeru #takeru takaishi #shihameta

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years ago

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Huh, I don't remember if you've already talked about this but 🤔

Rereading that ask about living together with VAE Ray has got me thinking... How would building connection with VAE Saeran look like in the case of platonic V's route mc? I can only guess that it'd be a long and messy process... It's hard enough for them to trust a new person coming into their life, but what would it be like with this mc after everything that's happened between them? I know he'd want to protect Ray no matter what happens, so how would he act around us? Since, even though it was involuntary, we still hurt him pretty bad... I'm very interested in reading your thoughts about this one!

Well, I’ve definitely shown Readers what it could be like to be a New MC that comes into VAE Ray and Saeran’s life in my story Zantedeschia.

In that situation, it's about building up trust and learning how to open up to somebody that may not be able to understand the depth of what you went through but is sincere and honest about wanting to understand what makes you feel safe in this world right at this moment.

In some ways, it helps that you don't have that history with either one of them because it allows them to move on from the hurt in the past. It lets them learn how to let go of that love they felt for V’s MC properly. That MC is their love, but they learn that love is not first and last. T

hey learn that they can love someone and be loved in return many times. That is the poetic part of the story. However, this is a lot different for the V Route MC who has a platonic friendship with Ray and Suit Saeran post-VAE. I know on that other post I did talk about how skittish VAE Ray is most people. He already got overwhelmed in hurt himself from being rejected in the first place, and he paid the ultimate price for it almost losing his life.

The way that he loves is very intense and even as he heals and starts to let go of the things that separated his mind for many years, it's hard to let go. He loves that MC. He loves them so dearly. Even if they don’t love him the way that he loves them, he will not hesitate to do whatever he can for them if they allow him back into their life. It just is painfully obvious that he’s always going to love them and being around them crushes his heart every day.

He knows that he has to stay on his side of the line. You chose V. You love V. You’re happy with V and he’s happy for you. As long as you smile, he’s okay. He would never think of getting in your personal space ever again after all of that. He takes what he can get and he's pretty grateful for it. However, in the case of VAE Suit Saeran, it’s a bit harder to contend with. There’s a lot of tension in the world to think about.

Now, he didn’t get to spend as much time with V’s MC one-on-one, but he did care about them in some capacity. He just didn’t get to love them as Ray did… not as strongly… but he didn’t stop Ray from pulling the trigger on that bomb switch. He let it happen. Which is difficult to think about because he is the one who protects Ray with his anger and frustration. He is the one that fights back when something needs to be done. He sinks his teeth into someone’s arm if he has to do it to ensure that he and Ray don’t die.

V’s MC affected him in ways that we cannot see clearly. But, not the same as it did with Ray. He’s less torn up inside and sitting in wallowing misery, but he has a hard time with Ray’s feelings. When Ray gets overwhelmed, he has to stop in place and handle things. Ray sometimes cannot handle being on the surface in MC’s presence and he has to pull away, which leaves Saeran to solve what he can in that moment.

It's a difficult conversation for him. That is to say, a part of him blames you for what happened and another part of you understands that it's not your fault. Because it's not your fault that Ray loved you. Deep down, you're a really good person and you're someone worth fighting for. Even if that person doesn't get to love you the way that they want.

You're not a bad person. But, what happened… happened because you were the only thing holding Ray together. You were the reason that he was able to wake up in the morning.

You were the reason that he felt like he could keep living the way that he was. You were everything to him. You were his obsession and the key to his happiness. You were the one thing that made Ray want to believe in fairytales and happy endings... and then he was abandoned by the entire world... even you. Even if he knew he was wrong to trap you, he was left by himself with nothing to show for his fight.

Saeran knows what you are… and he knows what you do to Ray. Frankly, if he had his way, there wouldn't be much time to be around you in the first place. It's nothing against you, it's everything about trying to protect Ray. Ray wants to have a part in your life.

So, Saeran tolerates the situation. He doesn't go out of his way to interact with you for the most part. He will make non-committal responses if you're talking. He doesn't try to get close to you and he doesn't let it be known that he's bothered by any of this. Saeran knows what he has to do for Ray's sake.

He’s indifferent to you.

It's nothing against you personally. This is just the way that things turned out and it's just something that they have to deal with. He doesn't hate you. But you might start to believe that he hates you because of the way that he acts around you. He's standoffish and he doesn't like to be close. He's doing this for his own safety because it's hard enough trying to protect Ray from the heartbreak. He’s not going to do that to himself. So he's still around but he's not making much of an effort.

#natasha in space #mystic messenger #mysme #mysticmessenger #mm #saeran choi #choi saeran #ray choi #choi ray #vae ray #v route ray #ray mm #ray mysme #ray mystic messenger #mysme ray #mystic messenger ray #character analysis

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whispering-about-loki · 4 years ago

Text

A Little theory regarding the Loki series

Warning! Image-heavy!

I am going to preface this by saying that this won’t happen. Well, maybe it won’t. Most of it won’t. Maybe some of it will. So SPOILER warning, in case it does.

I’ll put some of my thought process in a note at the end.

---------

After Loki is arrested and brought before court to be charged for his part in certain time crimes, Mobius M. Mobius takes him “somewhere to talk”. He shows Loki snippets of how his life would have gone if he hadn’t skipped out with the Tesseract, then he tells him that he needs his help. Someone has been causing changes throughout history, making a myriad of variant timelines. Mobius believes that someone is taking advantage of their position in the TVA to cause this chaos; but his superiors refuse to believe that any of their ranks would behave in such a manner. So Mobius figures that if you want to handle chaos, you need to embrace chaos, and without consulting his superiors about it, he offers the God of Mischief a deal: help him find and bring back the rogue agent, and Loki will get his freedom.

It is, of course, against the rules; but Mobius is willing to bend the rules a bit, if it means ending the time incidents. Loki agrees, thinking he will be able to use the situation to escape. But Mobius understands Loki’s thought process and warns him that if he strays from his assignment, he will be brought right back to the TVA. Loki being Loki, though, does try to skip out; but after he is zipped right back to the TVA a couple times, he doesn’t try it again.

Loki then does what he agreed to, slipping through time with Mobius and looking for the cause of the chaos. Disconcertingly, though, Loki’s power and strength begin to diminish, to the point where simple attacks he should have been able to easily counter are enough to take him down. Mobius says he doesn’t know why it is happening.

After a while Mobius's superiors suspect he is up to something, so he begins sending Loki out on his own, staying behind at the TVA to keep the others off his trail. Loki still doesn't like being in someone's "servant", and he resents being kept on such a tight temporal leash; but he continues reporting back to Mobius. While on assignments, Loki occasionally ends up preventing disasters that the “Agent of Chaos” had set in motion; though he also can’t help but make some “small” changes to the timeline, himself.

Mobius tells him to be more careful, or he might cause unforeseen effects. When Loki scoffs at this, Mobius asks him if he wants to see the world where he “won” the battle of New York. Mobius doesn’t wait for Loki’s answer, but immediately ships Loki off to an apocalyptic-looking New York City. When Loki gets there, the air is cold to the point where he can see his own breath, and it is utterly silent. A result, it appears, of not only the Chitauri attack, but of the bomb that the Humans used to try to wipe out the invading army. Apparently, the only ones that got wiped out were the Humans -- Avengers and all.

Loki wanders around the desolation for a while, until he is at last found by a roving group of ragged men. They seem to recognize him and he is brought to the leader of the city, who happens to be himself. Boss-Loki has gone a bit around the bend, though. He has been stuck in this place for years since the attack, and has carved himself out a little “kingdom” in the ruins, based in an old arcade. Our Loki is shocked and almost disgusted to see how far he has fallen. When Boss-Loki’s men turn on him because of this other Loki’s presence, though, our Loki gets caught up in the fighting. He calls out to Mobius that he has made his point, and to get him out of there.

Loki goes on doing his “job” then, being more careful with time. At long last, he finds a strange object at the scene of one of the chaotic events, and he brings it back to Mobius, who recognizes it as something he had taken from one of the young agent recruits, a girl named Sylvie. Mobius explains that some of the agents in the TVA are clones (like himself), but that some are recruited at a young age by the TVA because they show special abilities. Sometimes these recruitments occur from outside the main timeline, which is where they found Sylvie. Not only was she a gifted individual, but the TVA records showed that she should not have existed in the first place; so they took her in to train her, and also so that her presence would not disrupt the flow of time.

Mobius and Loki go to confront her in her room, but she is gone. Mobius feels responsible because it was he that “recruited” Sylvie. Additionally, he knew that she had a habit of slipping through time on “joy rides” and coming back with souvenirs, which was strictly against the rules. She always seemed innocent, though, so he went easy on her about it. Hidden in a drawer in her room, they find other “souvenirs”, and Loki notes that some of them have Asgardian runes on them. Mobius says that Sylvie is human, according to her genetic code, so he doesn’t understand what she is doing with the runes.

As they ponder the meaning of this, an alarm sounds in the TVA headquarters, and they know something terrible is happening in some variant timeline. They leave Sylvie’s room to try to get to the portals to take them to the time-incident; but on the way, some TVA agents try to stop them. They claim that Loki is the rogue element that has been causing all of the chaos, and that he needs to be “erased” as soon as possible.

Mobius pretends to be on the agents' side, then sets them off-guard so Loki can get to the scene of chaos. After fighting his way through the Minutemen that are guarding the portals, Loki arrives when/where Sylvie is--at a quarry mine--the moon is shattered and the fragments are falling to the Earth.

Loki runs to get to safety, and the ground opens up as the mine before him collapses, blocking him off from the now-adult Sylvie, who is staring up at the falling moon. She turns and looks at him just as the ground completely falls out from underneath him.

Suddenly the world around him stills and he lands hard on the ground. He struggles to his feet and looks up to see that everything has frozen around him. As he is standing there, gaping in disbelief, he turns and sees Sylvie standing beside him. She is wearing clothing very similar to his old Asgardian outfit, and she is smiling at the destruction and chaos before them.

“Hello, Father,” she says. “Have I made you proud?”

-------

Notes:

SPOILERS below.

My main thought was that since Cailey Fleming is listed as playing “Young Sylvie”, that would imply the presence of an older Sylvie. Otherwise, she would have been listed as “Sylvie”. Sylvie Lushton being the girl that Loki, in the comics, empowered and/or created, and who later became a version of Enchantress.

That is who I think Sophia Di Martino is playing as an adult, rather than Lady Loki, like I used to think. Her hair is the wrong color to be Loki, for one thing; and she has been shown filming in the same location as Tom Hiddleston, who was wearing an Agent outfit at the time. I’m not gonna put the set photos here, but you know the ones... the pictures where she is wearing just about the same outfit as Loki has in the past. And we know that this character is the one that is causing the chaos, because in those set photos she is wearing a certain pair of boots and fingerless gloves, both of which are freeze-frame bonusses on the “mystery figure” in the trailer (when she drops the lantern and lifts her hands to her hood).

I’d also like to point out that she is wearing what appears to be a sword on her hip:

Anyway, I figure it goes something like this:

Sylvie exists because another version of Loki had adopted her when he discovered that she had talents close to his own. He had begun training her how to use magic; but he was not so good a teacher as Frigga was, and the training was complicated by her wily and independent nature. Loki in that timeline died, though, leaving Sylvie alone.

The TVA (specifically, Mobius) took her in, but because of her abilities, she was naturally able to slip through time, create illusions, age herself up and down, etc. Eventually, she decided she would “make her father proud” by sowing chaos. The thing is, she has grown stronger and more chaotic since Loki showed up at the TVA, because she has been inadvertently drawing his power and life force from him -- basically depowering him to charge herself up (c’mon... he gets laid out by a Roomba...). In fact, the draining of his life-force was what killed her “father” in her own timeline, though she didn’t know it.

Additionally (and on another note), the Loki series is said to be a “crime thriller” with sci-fi aspects; so while Loki tracking down a rogue time-agent seems to be a pretty straightforward idea, it could be given a nice twist at the end by having the rogue element not be an agent, but someone of Loki’s own making. And it would be one hell of a cliffhanger for the next season.

And... that’s all I got for now.

#loki #loki series #loki laufeyson #loki series spoilers #marvel

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reachgirl · 4 years ago

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On Buddie and them potentially being aware of their feelings

So we definitely see evidence of how Eddie might feel about Buck, how he clearly loves and trusts him. He absolutely relies on Buck a lot as someone who loves Christopher, as that person you go to who cares about your kid as much as you do. And he clearly doesn’t handle not having Buck around very well during the storyline that must not be named.

He also looks at Buck like “you’re lucky you’re pretty”, a LOT. And he’s shown to think about Buck’s wellbeing and Buck’s feelings. For a guy who’s not usually great at ~the talking~, he seems to sense that Buck needs to hear him actually *say* things like that he trusts him, out loud. For Buck, someone who’s been told that he’s reckless and impulsive, not diligent, not reliable (and to be fair to Bobby, has been all those things at times, but is desperate to change that view of himself), to be told that he’s trusted - more than anyone else - with someone’s kid? That’s huge. And Eddie knew that he needed to hear that, he also knew that he needed to feel like part of something when Buck was depressed and hanging around at home after the truck bombing. And Eddie was the one who noticed Buck wasn’t around at the station. For Eddie, the fact that they “have each other’s backs” is so important, because, and it’s insane how this is not wishful thinking on the fandom’s part, he actually tells Shannon that she doesn’t have his back. So yeah, absolutely nobody is disputing that Eddie loves Buck.

And I’ve talked about how I believe that Eddie might be bi leaning towards more into men than women (his “not my type” and aunt pepa’s reaction to buck are the foundation for this theory), and his particular combination of upbringing, experience and location really messing with him admitting that to himself (Conservative religious culture, Texas, army, getting married young because of outside expectations). But many of the scenes we get from him could - FROM THE OUTSIDE - very well just show a guy who has a lot of love and respect (and occasionally some fond exasperation) for his best friend. Possibly more, but not in that active, pining way. Not like he’s truly aware of it, yet.

But Buck? He pretty much always looks at Eddie like he’s the best thing that has happened to him, ever, and he can’t believe his luck of getting to be around this man. The smile he constantly gives him, and - in seasons 2 and 3 - only him, is the actual “I want to sleep with you smile” from season 1 Buck. I don’t make the rules.

He constantly finds ways to help him out, reads up on things he knows Eddie is interested in or things that are for some reason something Eddie is dealing with (whether it’s baseball biographies or summer camp brochures), and absolutely always looks to him for approval anytime he does something well or remotely badass. Or even when he makes a joke. It’s almost like 95% of the stuff he does, he does so that Eddie will see.

He sees himself as part of Eddie’s family to the point of not feeling like he’s a guest at their house, he has proven he would actually die for Chris, and he spends much of his free time finding ways of making Chris, the most important person in Eddie’s life, happy. He shares in both the happy and the difficult parts of raising Chris, he gets involved in school problems, and he’s there for Eddie to talk through all the little things that come up when you’re a parent. Often times, with single parents, when the other parent isn’t around, the problem is that there’s nobody else in your life who shares the same love and enthusiasm or worry you have for your child. You could talk about everything relating to them for hours, but even the best meaning friends will at some point reach the limit of how interested they are. Not so with Buck.

But unlike Eddie, Buck is also aware, to a point, of how much he’s focused on Eddie. Where Eddie’s jealousy comes across as more spur-of-the-moment, not something he’s even aware of, Buck seems like.. he’s thought about how he feels about Eddie. Others definitely have. Maddie’s comment about his “man crush” aside, even a random christmas elf (long may she live) comments on it. Hen and Karen immediately agree Buck would invite Eddie, like, Karen knows about this even. Their reaction when Buck is acting irrational over how they might get Eddie out when he’s buried alive and most likely dead already is that reaction of “Oh fuck, this will break this person” that is usually reserved for the significant other or parent. Bobby definitely reacts to Buck in relation to Eddie the way a father would, carefully weighing being amused at how obvious he’s being, and concern over not wanting him to get hurt doing something stupid trying to save Eddie, or by falling for him when it might not be reciprocated. They all know that Buck’s a little (more than) smitten with Eddie. And Buck... of course he’s going to notice how his friends and family react. I think he’s been aware of it for a while and is constantly trying to navigate and balance this.

Of course he hasn’t told his face about balancing anything at all yet, because look at that man’s face any time he looks at Eddie, look at that scene with the medal. He absolutely can’t help it. And sometimes it’s like he wants them to pick up on it - for example, pushing Maddie on the fact that he doesn’t consider himself a guest. And that’s completely understandable, sometimes you want people to pick up on something and maybe even comment on it (because their reaction reaffirms to you that maybe you’re not crazy) while also not wanting attention on that point. People are complicated like that. And Buck may be a himbo, but he’s complicated AF.

We get Buck being really weird about Eddie and Shannon in general - right off the bat. When Shannon shows up at the station and she and Eddie talk, Buck’s in the background and overhears that they’re sleeping together. He clearly struggles with this information, (and Chim possibly notices..) then he get’s real petty about them potentially getting married again (”Maybe you can get a discount”) - and he nopes out of the situation as quickly as he can - because he doesn’t want to risk saying anything snarky.

Then Chim and Buck go christmas tree shopping, and Chim comments on how Buck can’t let Eddie’s situation with Shannon go, and it’s true, he can’t stop himself. But when Eddie asks him for advice in front of the fountain (/metaphorical water penis as I like to call it), he’s suddenly all “I didn’t think it was my business” ... ok, sure, Buck. Then he basically tells Eddie to try and make it work with Shannon. In terms of character development, in a romance, this is the part where person A wants to be with person B but doesn’t think they have a chance, so makes the choice to try and settle for being their friend, which, heartbreakingly, involves pushing them into the arms of someone else.

Also, his kind of “oversharing” of Eddie’s situation with Ana to the rest of the team is, to me, a pretty clear indicator that the topic makes him uncomfortable and he’s trying a Ross Geller-I’m making Fajitas- “let’s show everyone how very completely normal I feel about this” approach, which.. it doesn’t.. work that well. And when does this ever work, it’s super easy to see through this, and it usually just serves to draw more attention to the fact that you’re uncomfortable with whatever is being discussed.

Buck also takes everything Eddie says to heart. Like, fucking takes it and will not let go of it. Half a season after Eddie tells him that he makes everything about himself, he breaks down telling Maddie he’s worried he’s making the situation with the old firefighter about himself again. During the kitchen scene (or “The actual how-to-guide of what to do when you thought the guy you have a crush on doesn’t reciprocate but then you have a fight and he really doesn’t handle being away from you so well so you kind of might as well see where being a little more openly flirty will get you”), Buck’s clearly thought about Eddie’s words from the grocery store fight, and he’s gonna call Eddie out. And maybe do other stuff.

Looking at what the writers are actually doing, to end the season, there’s the clawing at dirt of it all, Buck falling apart when Eddie’s buried alive. Buck being in almost all of Eddie’s memories when he’s close to dying. And Maddie’s comment about not wanting to set Josh up with Buck, which is innocent enough, but why throw that in on top of all of the above, if not because maybe what we’re actually looking at is that they’re setting up a sexuality crisis for Buck, and him realizing he’s maybe into Eddie, but Eddie not actually reciprocating (yet)? And say Buck is then somehow forcefully pushed to see the truth about how he feels, maybe by, i don’t know, coming across TK and/or Carlos on a call, and one of them asking him how long him and Eddie have been together? We might get Eddie with Ana, and a very long, drawn out process of Buck realizing what’s happening and trying to leave them alone, and Eddie being really confused about why Buck’s being like that. Then we would have two options (well, more, really, but these are two I like): 1) Eddie pushing Buck on that point and demanding an explanation and Buck just coming out with it because fuck it and sorry and please let me see Chris still 2) Buck’s sexuality crisis (or not crisis, if he’s always been pan/bi, which, look, nothing I’ve seen has disproven this theory) leading to him dating a guy and Eddie getting really jealous but not actually being aware of the fact what he feels is jealousy (because he doesn’t realize how he feels about Buck, see this whole essay you just read), and Buck being the one who confronts Eddie about why he’s being such a homophobic asshole about this, and Eddie straight up kissing him because he can’t not anymore.

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