#like he clearly needs a good evening to relieve his tension and anger

[lilianhuas]

Pillow talk with a vampire he blew his entire arsenal just to capture, put a collar on, and chain to a bed. [Snowfall Episode 11]

[logansargeantsbabymom]

I Said Back Off

Franco Colapinto x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader, Franco Colapinto x Lando Norris

Angst

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The world only saw Lando Norris, the quick-witted Formula 1 driver. They didn’t know about the side of him I knew—warm, caring, fiercely protective. Our relationship had been a secret for almost a year, something we wanted to keep safe from the prying eyes of the public and the pressures of the racing world. But I never expected someone to test the strength of our hidden romance as Franco Colapinto did.

The paddock was buzzing after Williams announced that Franco would be replacing Logan Sargeant. Franco had a boyish charm, that easygoing confidence that made him instantly likable. I was happy to see him get his shot in Formula 1, and I had no reason to think he’d be anything other than friendly. But from day one, he turned his attention to me in a way that was impossible to ignore. At first, I brushed it off as him trying to make an impression, especially as he didn’t know about Lando and me. But as his flirtation intensified, it became harder to ignore—and harder for Lando to tolerate.

One afternoon, I was in the paddock waiting for Lando to finish a debrief when Franco walked over, wearing his Williams team shirt and a lazy, almost arrogant grin.

“Y/N,” he greeted, giving me a once-over that felt more invasive than flattering. “You look stunning today. I bet you bring good luck to whoever you’re with.”

I laughed politely, shifting uncomfortably. “Thank you, Franco.”

He leaned in, lowering his voice. “I mean it. I’ve noticed you around, and let’s just say… I’m determined to make sure I see a lot more of you. Maybe a date after the race?”

I tried to play it off with a polite smile, but it felt slimy. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He laughed, not at all deterred. “Why not? I’ve got plenty to offer, Y/N.”

The unsettling feeling in my stomach grew as Franco took a step closer, his eyes raking over me. I had a sinking feeling he wasn’t used to hearing the word “no.”

I was relieved when Lando finally emerged from his meeting. He took one look at Franco standing so close to me, and his whole expression changed. His jaw clenched, eyes darkening, and he strode over, positioning himself protectively between Franco and me.

“Is there a problem here?” Lando asked, voice tense.

Franco’s smile only widened as he shrugged. “No problem at all, mate. Just getting to know Y/N a bit better. Can’t blame a guy for being interested in a beautiful girl.”

Lando’s hand tightened around my waist, his jaw ticking with restrained anger. “Maybe you should focus on your driving, Franco. Y/N’s not interested.”

Franco gave him a dismissive look, his smirk unwavering. “That’s funny, Norris. Just because you say she’s not interested doesn’t mean it’s true. I think she deserves to make her own choice.”

I could practically feel the fury radiating off Lando as he squared up to Franco, not bothering to hide his protectiveness anymore. “Back off, Colapinto. I’m only going to say this once.”

Franco laughed, clearly amused. “Touchy, aren’t we? I didn’t know she was already spoken for. But tell me, Norris… are you sure you’re giving her everything she needs? Because I’m willing to bet I could do better.”

Lando’s fists balled at his sides, and it took every ounce of restraint I had to pull him away before things got physical. “Lando, it’s not worth it. Let’s go,” I said softly, trying to defuse the tension.

Reluctantly, he let me guide him away, though I could feel his entire body still wound tight with anger. Once we were alone in his driver’s room, he paced back and forth, struggling to calm down.

“Who does he think he is, talking to you like that?” Lando muttered, his voice sharp with frustration. “He’s just a rookie. No one even knows his name, and he thinks he can just… just take you from me?”

I moved closer, placing a calming hand on his shoulder. “Lando, he doesn’t know about us. That’s why he’s acting this way. Just ignore him. He’ll get over it.”

But Lando shook his head, his expression hard. “I don’t care. I don’t care if he knows or not. I don’t want him near you.”

-------------------------------------

Race day arrived, and Lando seemed more tense than usual. Even as he prepared to get into the car, his eyes kept flicking over to me, as if making sure I was out of Franco’s reach. I tried to stay out of sight to avoid more confrontation, but Franco didn’t make it easy. Just before the race started, he found me in the garage, that same smirk on his face as he strode over.

“You know, I’m still serious about that date, Y/N,” he said smoothly, grabbing my hand before I could pull it away. He brought it to his lips, holding my gaze in a way that felt more like a challenge than a gesture of admiration. “Imagine the life we could have together. You don’t have to settle for second place.”

“Franco,” I said firmly, pulling my hand back. “I’m not interested.”

But he only chuckled. “That’s not the vibe I’m getting.”

Before I could respond, Lando caught sight of the scene from across the garage. His eyes blazed with fury as he marched over, grabbing Franco by the shoulder and yanking him back.

“I warned you, Franco,” Lando growled, his voice low and dangerous. “Stay. Away. From. Her.”

Franco just laughed, clearly reveling in Lando’s anger. “Calm down, Norris. You’re making a scene. What, scared of a little competition?”

“Competition?” Lando’s voice dropped even lower, almost a whisper. “I’ll show you competition.”

With that, he turned on his heel, stalking off toward his car without another word. I knew he was furious, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t the end of it.

The race was brutal. Lando drove with a relentless aggression I hadn’t seen before, overtaking at every opportunity, refusing to yield an inch of space. When he finally closed in to lap Franco, I held my breath, watching as he drew dangerously close, almost forcing Franco off the track. Then, in a split second, Franco’s car veered off-course, spinning out and crashing into the barriers. The gasps around me were drowned out by the sound of metal grinding against concrete.

The cameras caught every second of it, but I knew immediately: it hadn’t been an accident. Lando had pushed him, and Franco’s car was totaled. Word quickly spread that Franco had injured his wrist, an injury that would keep him off the track for weeks.

When I finally found Lando after the race, I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Lando, tell me you didn’t do that on purpose.”

He looked at me, eyes still blazing with the same anger I’d seen earlier. “He was asking for it, Y/N. I warned him. He wouldn’t leave you alone, and then he had the nerve to say he could treat you better? I wasn’t going to stand for that.”

I stared at him, torn between anger and an unsettling sense of pride. “But Lando… you could’ve seriously hurt him.”

He pulled me close, his expression softening just slightly. “I’d do anything to protect you, Y/N. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else thinking they have a claim on you. I won’t let anyone take you from me.”

My heart softened, even though I knew he’d crossed a line. “Lando, you can’t just—”

But before I could finish, he kissed me, right there in the open, in front of cameras and crew. Our secret was no longer hidden; he was making it known to everyone, Franco included, that I was his.

As the days passed, Lando’s apology came in small gestures—a handwritten note slipped into my bag, flowers on my doorstep, a quiet apology over dinner. He promised me he’d try to control his temper, and slowly, I forgave him. Because, in the end, there was no denying that he’d done it out of love, fierce and unyielding, a love I couldn’t resist.

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington @hellowgoodbye

[bunnysnuff]

Never again.

Pairing: Charlie Spring x ftm!reader (platonic), nick Nelson x ftm!reader (platonic), Tao Xu x ftm!reader (platonic), Ben Hope x ftm!reader (siblings)

Trigger warning: FTM!reader, Ben Hope, Ben beating up Charlie.

Request.

Helpline.

You had always known your brother Ben wasn’t exactly the nicest guy. He had this arrogance about him that you couldn’t stand. But recently, you had overheard some things that made your stomach churn — about how he was treating some kid named Charlie Spring. At first, you wanted to believe it wasn’t true. You knew Ben could be harsh, but the more you heard, the more you realized it was worse than you thought.

And today, you saw it with your own eyes.

You had been walking down the hallway when you caught sight of Ben, Charlie, and a couple of other boys. Ben had Charlie backed up against the lockers, his face smug and cruel as he whispered something you couldn’t hear, but you didn’t need to. Charlie’s expression said it all — scared, trapped. It ignited something inside you, a fierce rage you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Without thinking, you stormed over, grabbing Ben by the collar and yanking him away from Charlie. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Ben barely had time to react before you shoved him back, and that was it. The anger took over. You swung at him, your fist connecting with his jaw, and he stumbled, caught completely off guard. He tried to say something, to defend himself, but you didn’t let him. Blow after blow, you let out all the frustration, all the fury that had been building up for years, not just for what he did to Charlie, but for everything else.

“Stay away from him!” you shouted between punches. “You don’t get to treat people like this!”

Before you could land another hit, strong arms grabbed you from behind. You struggled for a moment, still fueled by adrenaline, but then you heard a voice — calm but firm. “Hey, stop! You’ve got him!”

It was Nick Nelson, holding you back. Tao had rushed to Charlie’s side, making sure he was okay, while Ben was slumped against the wall, nursing a bloody nose and a black eye. You felt your breath coming in harsh gasps, your fists still clenched.

Nick let go of you once he was sure you weren’t going to swing again, but his eyes were wide with shock and a little awe. “Who are you?”

You straightened up, still breathing heavily. “I’m Y/N Hope,” you said, your voice rough from shouting. “Ben’s brother.”

Tao looked up from where he was checking on Charlie, his eyes narrowing. “Brother? You’re nothing like him.”

You shrugged, wiping the blood from your knuckles. “Yeah, well, that’s a good thing.”

Charlie was staring at you, still shaken but clearly relieved that Ben was no longer a threat. “Thanks,” he said quietly, his voice soft but grateful.

You glanced at him, your expression softening. “You don’t need to thank me. No one should have to put up with that.”

Nick gave you a small smile, still a bit stunned by what just happened. “You know, we could’ve stepped in.”

You raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. “You would’ve. But I wanted the first punch.”

Tao chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “Yeah, I think we noticed.”

You cracked a smile, the tension in your shoulders easing as you realized you had just made some unlikely new friends. Even if the circumstances were messy, one thing was certain: Ben wouldn’t be messing with Charlie again anytime soon.

[little-lily-w]

Surgery part 6

<<Part 5                            Try some Surgery II>>

A/N: this is the last part and I still don’t know what I’m doing.

It helped calm the ache but his proximity made you feel uncomfortable, or better say, in tension. You couldn’t really tell if you wanted more of the analgetic effect or if you wanted him at least 10 meters away.

“There’s no answer”, you let out as bravely as you could when he locked eyes with yours. “You are just looking to amuse yourself at my expense and I won’t give you the pleasure. Do the rest of the cuts. I won’t talk to you anymore. There’ll be no more answers”.

“Alright. Avoidance stage came quite quick”, he commented, tilting your chin up again. “But there’ll also be no more questions”.

What did that mean? You felt the blade finally sliding down the other side of your throat and you bit your lip in response, putting up with the pain as best as you could for him not to register your whining. The anger was giving space for the pride to appear but this one set your own trap because now it meant that you’d have to endure the rest of the process not begging for mercy (which you clearly needed).

Chishiya was relieved although you didn’t notice it. Two of the most dangerous cuts were done and they didn’t really look like they’d need stitches nor did they harm your vocal chords which, even after your little proud silence statement, he took care of preserving.

Then he moved away, scanning the stains of red along your body as he circled the stretcher to stop right in between both cuffs. You looked up but quickly turned your gaze to the roof once you realized you were only capable of seeing his beach pants from that position. Once you felt his hands working to free one of your wrists, you furrowed your brows. Of course. He still trapped your joint against the stretcher with his own grip and you did a pulling motion knowing you wouldn’t escape his fingers but wanting to frustrate the little fucker.

Unluckily for you, he wasn’t having it.

“You know, it’s a pity you chose to remain mute. It’d have been good for you to choose at which part of your wrists you prefer the cuts in case you wanted to hide them with a bracelet or a band but I wouldn’t waste my time asking what’s going to get no answer”.

Fucking jerk. Just ignore him. He is just looking for a reaction.

The cut was again clean and shallow enough not to catch a vein but it was still excruciating. The amount of pain and discomfort your body was in by now started to make you dizzy so much so that he didn’t restrain your wrist back again and you didn’t think of getting advantage to put up another fight. The feeling of exhaustion took over pretty quick and now you weren’t sure if you didn’t talk because of your own decision or if it was too much to ask for. All you wanted to do was close your eyes and drift away, maybe even dream that you were in another place, in another world, back to the one you knew. But Chishiya didn’t let you have your moment because as soon as your eyelids started to feel heavy enough to drop, he was cutting your other wrist.

“Son of a bitch”, you mumbled, a tiny squeal going past your lips. You couldn’t scream anymore.

“I’m not sure of what that was”, he taunted you but the game voice got in the way.

“Congratulations. Both players win”.

And with the click of the bracelets being opened, you finally fainted.

By the time you recovered your consciousness, everything felt bright again even over your closed eyelids. Please, no, not another game. You almost let out a sob if it weren’t for the fact that you were still too tired to make your muscles work for any kind of lament. But your state of denial keeping you blind didn’t last long. As soon as you turned your head to the side, the brushing of some fabric against the side of your throat made you hiss in pain, forcing you to open your eyes. You looked around the place, blinking as you rubbed your face to understand where you were. For a brief second, relief came to your chest when you realized it was your own room till you followed the wall opposite your bed and you found the image of Chishiya standing against the furniture with his hands behind his back.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, you let out, bothered and confused. The slight comfort of the pillow started to feel like a brick. He tilted his head to the side, not speaking. “No, go away, just leave me the fuck alone”, you protested, pulling the sheets up so they covered your head, and curling onto your side despite the pain of the bruises, especially the ones getting friction in between your thighs.

After a minute, you felt some items being dropped on the mattress next to you. You moved the sheet slightly till it landed on the bridge of your nose to spy what they were. A little plastic box and a bottle of alcohol.

“So caring. Thank you”, you said sarcastically before covering your head back again. But you could still feel his presence watching you, now resting against the side wall. “What?”, you huffed pushing the sheet away with violence so it ended as a ball at your ankles. Only then you noticed your wrists being wrapped with what used to be your top, stains of red covering the fabric as well as the bikini you wore which you mindlessly displayed to him once again within the fuss. “I’ll do it myself. Now leave”, you said, hoping it was enough for him to at least say something and stop being so damn intimidating and exasperating at the same time. You wondered if you should cover yourself again but that would have been too obvious. He looked down at the box. “Chishiya, for fuck’s sake!”, you exclaimed, seating abruptly on the mattress which actually made your head spin around. “I-I can do it myself!”

You knew he didn’t believe in your ability and that he didn’t seem to plan on leaving before you proved him wrong. “It’s not that hard”, you continued, opening the box and slamming it’s cover onto the bed. Bandages, cotton balls and hypoallergenic tape. The color white taking your memory back to the fluorescent lights, threatening to create a migraine. You huffed again, looking into his eyes so he watched you do the job and you could erase the gaze of arrogance off of his stupid face. You pulled from one of the improvised bandages you had on your wrists, clearly regretting it once you felt the burning at the sudden motion but you weren’t going to whimper in case you favored his attitude. So you bit your own tongue to refrain from making any sound and the same move was used to try and stop you from screaming once, in a similar violent motion, you opened the bottle just to throw a squirt of alcohol over the cut. You failed miserably, gasping in pain and lowering your gaze to focus on your wrist instead. But still not wanting to give him the satisfaction, you grabbed one of the packages of sterile bandages and ripped it open with your teeth. You put the bandage along the cut, struggling to properly position it with one hand and same frustration attacked the pit of your stomach when cutting a piece of the tape and trying to place it rightly across the bandage. As you began to puff and blow, Chishiya seemed to finally had enough and he circled the bed to sit next to you. Gently, he took your hand and brought it to his knee, palm up to remove the mess you did and throw it aside. He grabbed a cotton ball and soaked it up with alcohol, carefully touching your skin with it. The pain made you tense your forearm, increasing your frustration.

“You expect me to thank you for this?”, you spat your question at him, now you the one trying to get a reaction when he decided to play the mute game as well. Chishiya opened a new pack of bandages and placed one of them correctly on your joint, using then the tape to secure it. “Oh, no, I know, this makes you feel superior once again. How could I not realize?”

Chishiya was grabbing the wet cotton ball to continue but he stopped at your words to look directly into your eyes. You swallow hard. You were free in comparison with your situation back on the stretcher but somehow his proximity in your own bed made you feel entirely trapped or worse, like a bee enticed by pollen.

“I am not expecting anything nor do I feel any particular kind of way”, he removed the other fabric on your wrist, repeating the cleaning process till you were nice and patched up. Then he moved your hair gently out of your neck, almost as if the weight of his fingers was non existent but you still found yourself holding air in not to lean into his touch. Dizzy. Everything was so dizzy and hot. It was like a fever ascending from your toes to the back of your throat, same throat he was now taking care of healing. “I came here because I wanted to. Nothing more, nothing less”.

This time your eyes wandered nervously around his face. You had never paid close attention to the delicate light brown spot under his eye before and if you looked close enough, you could swear he still had the ghost mark of a dimple even when he wasn’t smirking. “A-and…”, you stuttered but he didn’t smile teasingly as you expected. “Why did you… want to?”

He placed the new bandages on the sides of your neck safely secured with tape, arching his brows just like a comment to himself. “I’ll answer that when you give me the answer you owe me. Up until then, enjoy your visa extension”, he slid his fingers down, barely brushing one of the still untreated cuts on the upper part of your breasts, before standing up and exiting through the door.  

[sailorgreywolf-legacy]

Ale and France? A fierce kiss that ends with a bite on the lip, soothing it with a lick.

France pushed him against the desk and growled, “Stop being so difficult!”

Mexico felt the hard edge against his back, and the twinge of pain made him more irritated. He pushed back, “You invaded and I’m the one being difficult? You’re an asshole.”

He was ready to fight, even if the war was lost. But he had a feeling that France did not have a fight in mind. And Mexico was sure that either of the options would relieve the tension.

France leaned against him heavily to pin him against the furniture. His blue eyes were gorgeous and full of fire. Mexico was angry, but he could not deny how attractive France was. He could feel himself blushing at their closeness and the heightened emotions.

France grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head back to expose his neck. He said, contempt in every word, “You act like such a brat. I have never met someone who needs to be fucked as badly as you do.”

Mexico snarled back, “If you think you are man enough, then do it.” France hissed, right before capturing his lips, “Shut up.”

The way their lips met was harsh, almost violent. Mexico could feel the other man’s tongue in his mouth as he pressed their faces together. It was not gentle, but it felt good.

Mexico growled as he felt France’s tongue invade even further into his mouth. It was incredibly invasive in a way that was erotic and deeply infuriating.

In response, France pulled back, but not before grabbing Mexico’s lower lip between his teeth. He bit hard enough that Mexico could taste blood.

France smirked with satisfaction at the way Mexico licked his lip. Mexico ran his tongue over the bite mark to soothe it. He could already tell that the lip was going to swell.

France then used one hand to nudge Mexico’s legs open. One hand was still firmly in Mexico’s hair, holding his neck at a tense angle. His free hand roamed up Mexico’s thigh and then to his crotch.

He kissed Mexico’s neck and said mockingly, as he felt that Mexico was hard, “You are enjoying this.”

Mexico couldn’t deny how his body was reacting, though he was still angry. If anything, the anger was heightening the experience. But he would not bring himself to confirm that to France for the sake of his own pride.

France continued, “Deny it all you want, but I know you need to be fucked.”

He then put his teeth to work again on Mexico’s neck, clearly with the intention of leaving a hickey. Mexico groaned at the confusing sensation. He could also feel the shadow of a memory impinging on the moment. He could remember the feeling of Spain doing the same a century ago, which made him feel like the past and the present were blending together. Men seemed to like to mark him.

Mexico said, trying to focus on the moment, “Why is this taking fucking forever?”

He wanted to skip to the part France made good on his promise to fuck him. The foreplay was boring him, and bringing back memories of Spain doing the same. He was sure that the sex would take his mind off of it, at least if it was good enough sex.

France released Mexico’s hair so that he could use both hands to lift him up onto the desk. Only once he was done with that did he grab Mexico roughly by the jaw and say, “You are so mouthy. I’ll have you speechless soon enough.”

He pressed their lips back together in another kiss. He kissed him like he intended his lips to be a gag. As they kissed, France deftly worked with his hands to unlace Mexico’s pants.

[rexxdjarin]

Afflictions

Empire!Boba x F!Reader

Summary: empire era boba is an asshole :) who does some pretty questionable shit in order to survive. but beskar and the man inside might not always be as stone cold as they seem. Word Count: 4k Chapter Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ RATING. angst, lil bit of violence, p in v sex, squirting if you squint lol, dudes a bit of an asshole during this era so Notes: this reader is chaotic and combative and tricky if only to one up Boba at every turn. heads up there's lots of name calling and yelling in this. there is also shamefully not enough boba fett content from this era (or any era fml) so I am delivering bc fett's dont break deals.

[post on ao3]

“You ever pull a stunt like that again and I’m bringing you to the nearest space port and leaving you there!” He shouted, turning on his heels the second you both stepped onto his ship. He pointed a scolding finger at you and curled his other hand into a fist at his side. He was angry, which wasn’t an uncommon emotion for the notorious Boba Fett. 

But this anger was different. More loaded and bitter, like something had really snake bitten the constantly disgruntled young, yet hardened bounty hunter. You’d gotten so used to working alongside him that you never really flinched at the sharp edges of his ire. Not anymore. His intensity matched yours and you were not afraid to bark back at him, if you had to.

You’d worked together hundreds of times over the past year or so. Embo introduced you to him after successfully helping him pull a job ransacking old republic battle stations for weapons and gear to sell on the black market. Helped him pay off some kind of debt he owed Boba. He’d never outright asked you to work alongside him, but never complained when you were brought along. 

Overtime you just became someone he could call when he needed robberies or smuggling done quickly and quietly. That’s how you found yourself partnered with him for the umpteenth time this rotation.

But your relationship, if that’s what you could call it, extended far past the average smuggling job. 

At first, you thought he’d just constantly okayed you tagging along because you were a good thief. Then you realized, although he looked every bit like some kind of killer Mandalorian machine, he was still a man under all that green paint. A rugged and sinfully handsome man. 

Deep dark eyes were as inviting as they were menacing, the scars on his face told stories of strength and enduring that he’d never speak of in words. Thick dark curls were messily swept behind his ears and matted under the weight of his precious helmet. 

Stars anyone who sees the sheer size of the man would understand the appeal, but to see what he looked like underneath was an even greater blessing. He looked every bit like those old clones still running around, but he was nothing like them.

He was cold, detached and reckless. He’d work with a team, only as long as they benefited him. No one ever really stuck around. No one but you.

The first time he made a move on you, you thought he was trying to double cross you, strangle you and sell you to the Hutt’s for the bounty on your head. Instead, he’d finally broken the awkward tension by tipping your chin up to make you look at him. That was it. 

There was something vulnerable in his eyes that sucked you in. Something desperate and emotional that flickered in whenever you looked hard enough at him. Maybe only you saw it. Ever since, you couldn’t look away. you couldn’t stop seeing that longing in him in everything he did. Trouble was, he was so stubborn, way too much to ever admit how he felt about anything. 

Your relationship was just that. Fucking to relieve tension without any further discussion about how either of you felt. He clearly liked having you around, since he hadn’t killed you yet and you liked him. From the second you saw that glimmer of decency in him, you were hooked.

Holding out for him to buck up enough courage to admit it though had gotten old. So on your last mission you took it to the extreme. Seeing just how far you could push him before he’d admit how he felt. You’d get yourself killed if it meant you could prove a point.

You double crossed your wealthy Black Sun contact by handing him his spice…only to disintegrate him, take the spice and the payment for double the reward. Though you didn’t think it through. Because the entire Black Sun army on this planet opened fire on you inside their palace. 

You would’ve gotten killed by blaster fire to the chest if Boba hadn’t jumped in front and sent the bolt ricocheting back to the blaster it came from. He grabbed you by the waist, hard, and flew you both clear through the top of the palace by jetpack. You were bloodied and scratched and bruised. But Boba was furious and that’s what brought you here. Right into your trap.

“Fine. Leave me there. I’ll take the spice and my cut. You’ll be back.” You laughed smugly, taking a nervy step toward him. “You always are. At least you are for me.”

“Don’t toy with me, you little princess. You almost got us both killed back there.” He fired back, “I don’t break deals.”

“Oh so now you’re honorable? Running spice and stealing for profit is so dignified. What’s next? Working for the Empire? You’d fit right in. Like a family reunion.” You joked darkly, thumping his chest. His head snapped up and he grabbed your wrist.

“You better watch that smart fucking mouth, girl. They’re not my family. I don’t need them. I never did. I don’t need anyone.” He spat and shoved you back, pressing your body between his chest and the ship's wall. Although you were severely testing his patience, he was still turning you on. His chest heaving in building anger and his strong hands holding onto your body were making your head spin.

“You don’t need anyone yet you’ve kept me around for 2 rotations? I’m not that good a thief, Boba. So admit it. You like me. You saved my life today. You care about me.”

He stood in front of you, both hands pinning you by your hips to the cold metal hull of Slave 1. He took several deep breaths, his armor plated shoulders rising and falling like he was charging up for a fight. “You’re imagining shit. I don’t care about you. Why should I care about anyone?” He scoffed, stepping away as if to deny himself what he really wanted.

You blinked in shock, a wall breaking down before you, even if it was just slightly. It was more than you ever thought you’d see. “Boba…” You muttered, reaching forward to grip the edges of his helmet. His shoulders sagged like he was going to let you remove it, before whirling around in renewed outrage and swatting your arms away.

“What do you want from me? Yeah I saved us both. So what? It’s just a job.” He shrugged, “don’t get your hopes up for anything else, little princess. I can just as easily replace you with someone who isn’t so distracting.”

“Stop calling me that. I’m no fucking princess and you know it. If I’m so distracting, then why keep calling me back? Someone has a hard time abandoning people. You gone soft, Fett?” You shot back, he stood up and finally removed his helmet, glaring at you with nothing but blazing venom in his dark eyes. His jaw clenched and he loomed over you.

“Go then. Stay here and let the syndicate get you. See if I care. Fuck you.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do, you asshole?”

He smirked, “is that what you want? You should’ve just asked…begged me like you usually do. You know I’ll fuck the life out of you. But that’s all you’re getting after what you pulled.”

You exhaled, his words going straight to your core and sending shockwaves through every nerve in your body. But you denied it. He wasn’t getting a thing from you until you got him to open up. You were tired of playing this closed off game of his. 

“No. I want you to care. To fucking prove it, Boba. Tell me.” You demanded, tears brimming up slowly as he just stared blankly at you. 

He wasn’t going to admit it. He wasn’t going to break. You’d nearly gotten yourself killed trying to push this man to say something he couldn’t even be honest about feeling. 

“You really are a stubborn, cold fucking asshole. Can’t even let one person give a shit about you.” You huffed, swallowing your tears and turning around to walk down the ramp. If he couldn’t admit it, then you were gone. You wouldn’t stay somewhere you weren’t wanted.

Before you could take another step, his hand shot out and grabbed your arm. 

“Don’t.” He hissed, his gloved fingers digging into your forearm.

You whipped around in an attempt to free yourself and strike that pretty asshole's face if you had to. He scowled at you, anger still huffing out of him, his face saying one thing but his words saying something else. Yet those eyes of his said it all. The dark brooding anger flickered with that little something again. That desperation for something…someone. You raised your hand like you were going to smack that stupid look off his face, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Maybe you were the one who had gone soft.

“Let go of me.” You whispered, the threat sounding far weaker falling from your lips than you intended.

“No.” He stated flatly, scowling a little deeper and biting his lower lip.

“Boba…get your fucking hands off me.”

“No.” He said more indignantly now, his mouth curling into a wry grin. “You wanted me, you got me. Stay here and fight with me a little more. Yell and scream and fight me. You’re showing your hand, little princess. Never thought you’d be so sloppy.”

“Boba…I can’t fucking…stand you. You’re such an ass-”

“An asshole. Yes, you’ve mentioned that. But you like me because I’m an asshole, don’t you?”

“You’re so fucking frustrating. Why do you always have to play games? Why is it never easy? Why can’t you just let someone care about you?”

“Why? You pushy little fucking thing…you wanna know why? Why I’m so cold? Why I’m so fucking angry? Why I won’t let people in?” His voice was rising, a crazed look of exhaustive anger filtering into his handsome face. He raised a fist to the wall, grunting in annoyance as you just blinked back at him. “Because people I care about don’t stick around. But people I hate? Can’t seem to ever get rid of ‘em.” Boba blinked, his angry gaze far away as if staring at something unseen.

“Boba…” You started, unsure of what to say in response. He finally broke, revealing more to you than he ever had to anyone else. You didn’t know much about him, apart from the fact that he was obviously a clone, but it was clear that he’d been hurt enough times to make him numb. You reached for his face, hesitantly trying to make him look at you. He had to see that even in a world where he thought he had nobody, he still had you. 

Maybe that’s why he didn’t hate when you were brought on jobs. Why he always seemed to have another job lined up to keep you too busy with him to look elsewhere. That desire to be cared for. That’s what made him keep you around. Constantly, whether he knew it or not, he was searching for a companion. You wanted to console him. You hoped your touch was enough to convey that.

But he was as stone faced as usual, the anger brewing inside him practically steaming out of him as he exhaled. He blinked, probably his attempt at softening his gaze as you stared at him like there was a fog of words left unsaid hanging in a storm cloud of frustration between the two of you. The longer the seconds passed without breaking through it, the more you both steamed, further fueling the cloud. And so instead of saying what you felt, you gritted your teeth and jabbed, “well you should’ve just said so. If that’s the side of me you want, then that’s what you’ll get.”

He grunted to hide the slightest sign of a flinch of pain in those dark eyes. Maybe you were just seeing things. “This…” He gestured to the painfully obvious distance between the two of you. “...can’t ever be more than what it is. Bad things happen to everyone around me. Wouldn’t want to see that happen to you.” He took a step forward, tipping your chin up so you stood face to face. “So hate me. Hate me so no one ever harms this pretty face of yours.” His dark brows furrowed in concern and he moved close enough to cage you in between himself and the ship's hull.

You watched his eyes exploring your face, trying to decide just how careful he needed to be with you. Something he never needed to second guess before. Luckily, by now you knew his weaknesses. You knew just which buttons to press to have him rooted inside you in minutes. 

You leaned forward, your hands slowly tracing down the exposed sides of his chest, reaching for the skin underneath. You shot him a sultry smirk, hoping he could tell you were trying your best to rile him up again. “No one has to know, Boba. We’re both pretty good liars. Besides…I’m notoriously hard to please. No one believes I can be held down by anyone. Not even you.”

“Is that what you need to tell yourself, little brat?” He said gruffly, “You’re not the first woman I’ve had falling at my feet. You won’t be the last.” His gloved finger brushed down the length of your arm, igniting goosebumps all over you that he couldn’t see, but definitely knew were there.

Your hand shot up to grip his jaw, teasing him back with a flirty giggle. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Fett. I’m still deciding if I want to kill you.” You leaned in to kiss him harshly, breaking the tension with sniper-like precision. Bitten lips and teeth clashing made this feel more like war between you two than anything close to love.

“If you’re going to kill me then what you’ve got between those legs would be my weapon of choice.” He growled, breaking the frantic kisses to tear at the zipper on the front of your flight jacket. Your breasts burst from behind the fabric, his hands immediately gripping them. “And if you do kill me, I wouldn’t mind if these were the last things I ever saw. Fuck...” He swore in adoration, pressing his body into yours and letting his thigh slot between your legs.

You sighed out, unable to put up much of a fight now that he had you right where he wanted all day. Faster and faster your passionate kisses practically battled each other, working more articles of clothing off whenever you broke for breath. You both swear and curse and groan at each other, pushing buttons and touching the freshly exposed skin like you hadn’t seen it before.

You’d done this more times before than you could remember. Probably more than you could count on one hand. Yet this time you were both insatiable. Everything laid out on the table, everything raw and emotions heightened. It was already a relief just to feel something, even if it was just letting a bubble filled with anger and frustration finally pop.

Before you knew it, both of you were stripped down, clothes and armor and weapons all over the cockpit floor. His fingertips were drawing torturous circles around your clit, grunting all kinds of filth in your ear while you mewled in desperate desire underneath him. He slicked his own length up with your wetness he’d collected on his fingers and pressed himself inside you. Both of you too overstimulated, angry and ravenous to wait a second longer.

He gasped as he filled you, your hole so tight from this angle that you had to bite your lip to hold back your cries. His hands found purchase on your hip bones, turning you around with your chest against the wall so he had the view of you he liked most. He started a bone shattering rhythm, the sound of his hips slapping the backs of your thighs and nearly shifting your kidneys made you squeal.

“Gods you’re so tight. Need me to split you open…that’s why you’re such a brat. Just to piss me off so I can fuck you like this.” He groaned, his lips pressed behind your ear as he laid into you. 

You hated that it felt so good. But fuck it felt so good. You swore at yourself. All you could feel was the incessant pounding, the constant filling up tightly and sudden loss. It felt so good your eyes were welling up with tears. Your chest pressed against the wall delightfully as he pounded into you from behind over and over and over again. You turned your head, whimpering and gasping, panting in any air you could get. By now, tears were streaming down your face and you were practically crawling up the wall. Filled up and gone. Up and gone. In and out, in and out. You couldn’t contain yourself. 

Angry at him for being so goddamn oblivious, upset at him for thinking you didn’t care. That you couldn’t care about him. Your emotions were boiling over and crying and cumming was all you could do. You couldn’t tell which end was wetter. Though from the sound of it and the deliciously nasty moans emanating from him, it was probably down there. 

He was so fucking strong, so determined, so passionate and so completely into this and into you. His muscular arms were pressed onto the wall on either side of you, flexing to hold up both your weight. You could only imagine how incredibly hot he looked this way. Making a mental note to record this next time for you to watch later. 

Yet, he was stopping. Slowing down. Slower, Slower, slowing, stopped. Fucking WHY. You thought desperately. 

That’s when you realized how this must’ve looked to him. You were a sobbing mess. You glanced at him innocently, trying your best to convey how desperate you were for this to keep going. 

His usually scowling, almost angry, brow was so much softer than it had been only a half hour ago when you were screaming at each other. The passionate blazing fire in his deep brown eyes was gone, replaced by a soft, worried look. He placed his hand on your chin and tipped your face up to his, turning your body in his other hand to face him.

He was so fucking angry before. You’d never seen him so close to losing his shit, even in every fight you’d ever seen him. Nothing came close to how upset he was when he actually cared. You were so shocked he didn’t burst into tears that you were almost impressed with how well he could contain himself.

But you realized. He cares too. He was angry because he cares. He didn’t know where your head was. He could read your every quiver, every inch of your writhing body. But your heart was a mystery and that scared him more than anything else. So he did all he knew how to do, fight and fuck. And hope it worked.

You looked up at him, meeting his palms on their way up to cupping your cheeks. He wiped your tears away and you leaned into his hands gently. Your panting slowed, but transitioned to exhausted gasping. You all but collapsed your head onto his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his back. Clutching the back of his head, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, you muttered, with the minimal effort you had left, “please don’t stop.”

Almost instantaneously he was back inside you. Pounding back into you so hard you practically screamed. In one swift motion, he picked you up and wrapped your legs around him, pressing your back to the wall for support. And he was back. Even harder than before. Determined to prove it to you. To show you how much he loved you. He didn’t know if it was safe to say how he felt about you. So he showed you.

The pressure was maddening. You were pulled taut around his cock, every little thrust bringing you closer and closer to cumming. You were crying again. Whether it was because you were happy or because it just felt so fucking good you couldn’t tell. 

You moaned in his ear so seductively and illicitly you don’t know how he could take it anymore. He pulled you as close to him as he could, each thrust hitting your clit perfectly. I’m so fucking close. You were stammering, seeing stars as he kept at it. You dragged your nails down his back, definitely scratching him up nicely. Marking him up for everyone to see. For everyone to know he was yours. You claimed him. Maybe even tamed him.

No. 

Not tame him. No one could ever tame the formidable, ruthless, notorious Boba Fett. And you wouldn’t want to. Wouldn’t dream of it. 

No.

You drove him wild. Made him more unrelenting. More powerful. His anger was fueled not just by lust, but with something more. Something he’d never had before. Something he’d never felt before. He’d met his match and he knew it. And nothing made him want to fuck harder than his desire to defeat that weakness he felt for you. To overcome it and make it into a strength. Now was the first time since…he’d felt another person stab through his exterior, penetrate through his carefully constructed armor, cut through the bone and pierce through to his heart…since he’d last looked into his Father’s eyes on Geonosis all those years ago.

He was groaning, his dark hair matted down to his forehead. You were so lost in him you couldn’t make out anything he was saying anymore. You couldn’t hear words, you couldn’t speak. Just feel. You didn’t want to stop feeling this, feeling him. It was all you wanted. Stars he was good. He was so fucking good. Just as quickly as the thought came to mind you were saying it out loud.

“You’re so fucking good. Fuck me…harder, Boba, fuck me.” You cried out, tipping your head back and twisting your hips as fast as you could against his thrusts. Being egged on by your reaction to how crazy he was making you feel, he was sputtering erratically. His hands reached down to play with you maniacally. He knew what to do. Circling you devilishly with just the perfect amount of pressure. You were so filled up, so ready to overflow, you couldn’t keep it in any longer. 

Before you knew it, he was coming. So fucking hard it sent you spiraling. You bit your lip so hard it was drawing blood and you didn’t care. You rocked your hips back into him riding out how amazing it felt, how unreal he felt. Wetter and hotter and even fuller than before, you felt him let go, filling you up where there wasn’t even space. You let go too, with nowhere for the juices to go but out. Your back arched perfectly into his strong chest, him holding the small of your back tightly to push you ever closer to him. You were squirting a mix of both of you and screaming his name melodically. “-fuck Boba!”

“There you go…fuck yes.” He guided you through it, rubbing your center just hard enough to keep it going. You were in delightful agony, laughing and wincing it felt so good. He kept pumping into you as long as he could and you broke, riding up and down on his cock until your legs couldn’t move anymore. 

You were trembling, your body spasming with aftershocks. He was swearing in your ear and kissing down your neck. All you could do was hug him back, cling to him tightly and hope he understood this was how you wanted to show him you loved him. I fucking love you. And suddenly it was slipping from your lips, repeatedly, over and over and over again. 

“I love you. I fucking love you.” You confessed, almost begging him to listen. You looked into his big perfect brown eyes and saw a different kind of passion than before. He smiled, honest to force fucking smiled, and ran his large palm down your back, resting it on the fullness of your ass.

“I know.” He said. “I’ve known since the second you started yelling.” He smirked, that looking far more familiar than a smile, pulling you back on top of his cock. “I love you too.” He said quietly, in the smallest voice you’d ever heard come out of the most terrifying man in the universe. “I fucking do. I fucking love my little princess.” He cursed, smirking out the teasing nicknames he knew would get under your skin. He carried you to your bed and laid down with you on top of him. 

“Would you get mad at me again if I said I just wanted to fuck it out of you? Cause I could use a round two of whatever that was.” He teased, using his strong hands to move you up and down on top of him. 

You practically lunged at him, now knowing that treating affection as a battle is what spoke to him most. You met his lips with your own and kissed him deeply. You pressed your forehead to his and ran your hands down his impossibly broad chest. You chuckled and retorted, “Come and take me then.”

--

small taglist for the boba ho's I know and love:

@galacticgraffiti @thefact0rygirl @princesszwei @sleepingsun501

[noteguk]

any way you want it | kth | m

— summary; in which your best friend, Taehyung, finds out about your unsatisfying sexual experiences and decides to put an end to that track record himself. 

— contents and warnings; smut, childhood best friends, Taehyung x reader, bigdick!tae, breast play, oral (f receiving), dry grinding, dirty talk, tae has a praise kink, unprotected sex (be responsible!!), rough sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, Taehyung takes things personally but he has good intentions, this is what happens when mutual thirst gets suppressed for years of friendship 

— words; 6.6k

— author’s note; i have no idea why but this fic was so fucking hard to put down into words??? I felt mentally constipated the entire time but it’s finally here 

Taehyung wasn’t the slightest bit surprised when you called him at almost two in the morning, complaining about your newest nightmarish date and practically begging to come over. Like the good friend that he was, he made sure to tell you that you would be more than welcome to join him in his newest documentary marathon about aliens, and wondered if you could bring him some takeout on your way over there. Like the bad friend that you were, you said no. 

To be fair, the nearest takeout place was across the city from his apartment (about thirty minutes away and in a bad neighborhood), and you were already having a horrible night as it was. Besides, you refused to take part in Taehyung’s search for a high blood pressure and cholesterol levels, arguing that it wasn’t the right time to stuff his face full of hypercaloric noodles. 

But you did pity him enough to comply with his second request: a big pot of vanilla ice cream, which you were sure you’d end up consuming too. You were in a crisis.

As if to prove that the gods above were laughing at you, during the walk of shame to Taehyung’s apartment, it had started to rain (because of course it did), and your umbrella was only able to save you from the shoulders up before it crumbled and flew away from your gasp, rolling on the asphalt like a ball of dirt in a Wild West movie. By the time that you dragged yourself to his front door, you were completely soaked (and not in the way you had planned for that night to end), and about to break down crying. 

Taehyung, like the angel that he was, helped you with your heavy coat and talked you into taking a warm shower before you got sick. He took the supermarket bag from you (where the ice cream had probably already melted) and walked you to this bathroom, excusing himself so he could grab you some dry clothes — and you only saw the ones he had picked when you got out of the shower. 

With a silly smile dancing on your lips, you fumbled with the black booty shorts that Taehyung had jokingly gifted you that past Christmas — one that read “daddy’s juicy butt” in big, bold, neon pink letters over your ass — and then decided that your dignity was already dead by that point, so another kick wouldn’t hurt. Taehyung had also given you one of his favorite band shirts, which he only revealed during desperate times. 

Your heart melted with the thought of your best friend trying to comfort you, and pulled the fabric close to your face so you could take a deep inhale, drowning in his scent. It smelled of that stupid cologne that Taehyung had used ever since he hit puberty, and a bit of fabric softener. 

The two of you had an extremely close friendship, to the point that it got kind of strange at times. Ever since childhood, it was joked that you and Taehyung had been long lost soulmates — doing everything together, from going to school to laughing at the same exact jokes during movie marathons, often at the same moment and for the same amount of time. Before puberty hit (and the hormonal rage took over your first teenage years) you couldn’t remember disagreeing with him even once. You two had always been in sync. 

But the uncomfortably close part only hit after you two went to college, and your anxiety for being a virgin in a sea of starving sharks got the best of you. After long conversations, you had managed to convince Taehyung to help you learn a thing or two about the art of naked wrestling. 

Apparently it was weird to give your best friend a handjob and a blowjob for the sake of education. Go figure. 

Regardless, your friendship wasn’t affected by any of that — even if you two had agreed to never mention any of it ever again — and you could always count on Taehyung to catch you when you fell. 

Even if it was at two am on a Tuesday, after one of your nightmarish dates. 

You threw yourself on the couch next to him, hugging your knees against your chest to form a barrier between you and the divine providence that had taken you to that point. You had half-assedly dried your hair, but pools of wetness had started to build on the back of Taehyung’s shirt. 

Instead of accusing you of ruining his favorite piece of clothing, Taehyung reached for the remote and paused his documentary just as the narrator was starting to explain how hieroglyphs were actually part of an alien language. “Just tell me how bad it was,” he said, a mustache of ice cream melting over his top lip.

You took a peek at the bowl of melting vanilla on his center table, and decided that you would probably pass the desert for the night. 

You glanced at him sideways, voice coming out monotone. “You sure you want to go down that path?” 

Taehyung licked his sweet mustache off and nodded, clearly intrigued. “Yeah, hit me with it. You look like you need all the help that you can find.” 

You sighed, turning around on the couch so you were facing him — legs still against your chest. “Okay so… I went to his place...” 

“Yes…”

“And... we had dinner, talked for a bit.”

“How was the talk?” He asked. 

You shook your head, trying to kill the memories inside. “He didn’t let me say a word. He just went on and on about this new website he’s working on, and how expensive his wine glasses were.” You scoffed, angry at yourself for ignoring the clear red flags of an arrogant douchebag. That was what the desperate need for immediate human connection could do to someone, you thought. “Apparently it’s supposed to be the next Facebook or something. Or twitter. I honestly wasn’t paying much attention.”

He chuckled. “Starting off strong.” 

“That wasn’t even the main issue,” you said, lowering your forehead so it was touching your knees. You just wanted the world to end at that moment, so you wouldn’t have to go through those experiences again. “After that, we sat on his couch and started watching a movie. And you know how that goes, we started kissing, he pushed me down and got on top of me…”

“And?” He instigated. 

With a sigh, you raised your head, meeting your friend’s gaze. Taehyung thought he had never seen you look so dead inside. And he had seen a lot from you. “And he humped like… my lower abdomen for about three minutes and came in his pants.”

Taehyung cringed visibly, taking one hand to cover his mouth. “Oh, man. That’s bad.” 

You nodded, strangely relieved at his reaction. Part of you was worried that you were the evil witch in that scenario, that maybe you had done something wrong. “The worst,” you agreed. “Wanna know what else?”

“What? There’s more?”

“He didn’t even ask me if I was satisfied with whatever the hell that was.” You told him, bitterness dripping from your tongue. In the grand scheme of things, that was something silly to get mad over, but the fact that your date didn’t even have the guts to ask if you had gotten something out of that was ridiculous. “Not that I could possibly be. But it’s like he didn’t care and I was just a pillow for him to hump like a… sexually repressed religious teen, I don’t know.”

Taehyung only nodded, realizing that there wasn’t much that he could say to fix the situation. “Was he a good kisser at least?”

You sneered. “I think he was trying to crush my face with his.” You glanced at your friend, only half of his face bathed by the yellow and orange shades coming from the television. Maybe a documentary about ancient history and alien expeditions wouldn’t be so bad. Worst case scenario, it would knock you out, and you wouldn’t have to think about that mess anytime soon. “Also, too much tongue, just… the amount of saliva…”

“Got it. You can stop there.” Taehyung raised one hand, his eyes closing for a second. His palm lowered and met one of your knees, standing there in a silent attempt at consolation. “I’m sorry about your terrible date experience, dude.” 

“If you could even call it that.” You ran one hand through your hair, suddenly overtaken by a wave of anger. “God! I was just… so… ugh! Like… ughhhh!!” 

Taehyung, bless his heart, sometimes couldn’t understand the random neanderthal sounds you threw his way. “So... what?”

At last, your makeshift protection came crumbling down, and you collapsed on the couch dramatically, legs dangling off the edge. Taehyung thought that you were being possessed for exactly two seconds before you started talking again. “I did a full body shave for this night, Taehyung. Do you realize what that means?” His lips fell open, but, before he had the chance to answer, you continued. “It means that I really wanted to get railed tonight. Actually, I wanted to find a guy who actually knew what he was doing for once in my life.”

Taehyung chuckled, trying to disperse the tension in the room. “Come on, the dating pool can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, it’s bad,” you said. 

He wasn’t giving up that fast. “How bad?”

You raised your head to look him dead in the eyes, a silent threat, before finally uttering, “Try no-man-has-ever-made-me-cum bad,” and crashing your head back against the sofa. 

If you weren’t so hyper-focused on your own sexual melodrama, you would have noticed the thick silence that fell between the two of you, Taehyung’s face contorting into fifty different emotions within a few seconds. He thought that he had heard it all — from the secrets hidden in Machu Picchu to the obvious extraterrestrial influence on earthy religion — but no amount of bad documentaries could ever prepare him for that revelation. That didn’t make any sense. 

“Wait. Seriously?” He finally found his voice and managed to push his doubt out of his throat. “You’ve never had an orgasm before?”

You chuckled, humorless. “Oh no, I’ve had plenty of those. Just not from another person.” 

“How’s that possible?” he asked. 

“I ask myself that every single day.” You sighed, forcing yourself to sit back up. Taehyung was staring at you like you had just grown two extra arms, and you wondered what an amazing sex life he must’ve had for that confession to get him so confused. “Guess I’m just really bad at picking partners, who knows.”

There was a soft grunt on your throat as you fixed your position on the couch, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of your entire day piling up at once. Your gaze mindlessly traveled to the TV — a big plasma monstrosity that Taehyung had bought compulsively during a Black Friday sale — looking at a white-bearded man pointing maniacally towards a specific, round-shaped hieroglyph. You didn’t even need to hit play to know that he was making it seem like it was an UFO, but curiosity got the best of you. 

“Can you pass me the remote?” You asked, pointing at the small device that laid beyond Taehyung’s body. “I kinda wanna see what—”

“I’ve made tons of girls have orgasms,” Taehyung interrupted, looking at you like he had just clicked out of a transe.  

You laughed at his monotone voice. “I’m happy for you, Tae.” You leaned over his legs so you could finally reach the remote. “That wasn’t a jab at your masculinity, I’m sure you’re a very caring partner, and I’m sure there’s tons of guys out there that—”

“I can make you cum too, if you want.”

You had just grabbed the small piece of plastic when his sentence hit you like a smack in the face, making you drop the remote back on the couch, eyes widening. “You… what?”

He suddenly broke eye contact, taking one hand to massage the back of his neck. “Did that sound as creepy as I think it did?”

“A bit, yeah.” You forced out a light chuckle, trying to break the ice. There was no sign of mockery in his voice, and you didn’t know how to react. You could not say that the offer wasn’t tempting (you’d be lying if you claimed that you didn’t think Taehyung was attractive), but his proposal was so oddly-placed that it sounded like a joke. “What are you talking about?”

Taehyung sighed, turning his head to look at the television. “I just think it’s really unfair that no one has ever made you cum before.” 

You smiled. “That’s very nice of you, but…”

“And I want to help you with that.” He looked back at you. Oh, he was being a hundred percent serious. There was no longer a single ounce of doubt in your mind. “We’re friends, it’s not gonna be weird. We’ve done similar stuff before.”

“We were a lot younger, though.” You didn’t know why your mouth suddenly felt so dry, your fight or flight response kicking at full strength. You could tell that Taehyung was also trying to convince himself about the strangeness of the situation. “It’s gonna be kind of weird, yeah.”

“Not if we don’t make it weird,” he threw back. Was it bad that you were actually considering it? Maybe it was the piled-up exhaustion combined with the years of sexual frustration, maybe you were finally out of your mind. But you were really considering it. “I don’t wanna pressure you, alright? Just making a friendly offer. If you don’t want it, that’s fine.” 

You kind of wanted it, though. There was too much accumulated libido inside you from years and years of unsatisfying partners, and you trusted Taehyung with your entire heart. It sounded like a safe enough bet: if all went to shit and it got too awkward, you two could just stop, no hard feelings. Besides, you knew that Taehyung cared about you, which was more than you could say about all your dates in the past couple years. 

And the more you stared at him, probably looking like a deer in the headlights, the more you grew soft under his presence. At once, you were hit with desires that you had never considered before: you wanted to kiss those soft lips, wanted to know how his large hands would feel around you. You really, really wanted to know how it was to have a good sexual experience with someone, and you couldn’t think of a better candidate than your best friend. Even if you still thought it could be seen as a little bit weird. 

But you also kind of didn’t care. 

You licked your lips, finally finding your voice after a long moment of silence. “How… how would you do it?” 

Taehyung turned his head and looked at you, noticing the expectation in your eyes. “How would you want me to do it?” He asked. 

You tried to think, but your mind was completely blank. What did you want him to do? What did you like? Suddenly you weren’t sure about anything anymore. “I don’t know,” you admitted, glancing down. 

Taehyung smiled at your nervousness, one of his hands moving to your chin and tilting your head up. “How ‘bout I start by kissing you?” He questioned, gaze flickering to your parted lips. “Is that alright?” 

There were no words in your throat, so you simply nodded, closing your eyes as he leaned in. 

Taehyung’s mouth tasted of vanilla and you thought, even for a moment, that you were in paradise. The second that his tender lips met yours, your anxiety melted away, giving space to a newfound flame of desire. Taehyung kissed you softly, sensually, taking his time caressing your mouth and drowning in your heat. His hand moved to the back of your head, pressing you closer to him and leaning your head to the side so he could deepen the kiss. 

He sighed heavily into your mouth when your tongues met, his other hand moving to hold your waist. The position on the couch was kind of awkward for kissing, with the two of you sitting side by side, so it wasn’t an unwelcome surprise when Taehyung tugged you onto his lap, making you straddle him. 

The kiss was starting to get hungrier, messier, a small whimper dying in your mouth when his palms traveled down to cup your ass, pressing you down against his semi-hard cock. Taehyung sighed and groaned at the feeling of you on top of him, loving the way that your fingers played with his hair, your body so perfectly tight against his. If there was any hesitation before, it had completely vanished by that point. 

It caught you off guard when he suddenly broke off the kiss to ask you, “Do you like any pet names?”

You blinked, taken aback. “Hm? What?”

He placed a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You know, you want me to call you by something?”  

You realized that Taehyung was really taking that personal service to a different level, and you couldn’t say that you were let down by it. If any of your past partners had the dignity to ask what you liked, you wouldn’t be in that position in the first place. “I… like being called ‘baby’,” you told him. 

Taehyung smiled. “That’s cute. Baby it is.” 

Before you had a chance to respond, Taehyung’s lips were back on yours, a dreamy sigh leaving his mouth as your tongues met once again. Only a few seconds passed before he shifted his weight to lay you down, never breaking the kiss as he positioned himself between your legs, hovering over you. Taehyung started trailing a path of kisses down your neck, his large hands slithering beneath your oversized shirt and caressing the skin of your stomach. 

“Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at your shirt. 

You agreed and, within a heartbeat, that piece of clothing was already on the floor, and Taehyung was diving in to kiss the valley of your naked breasts. You moaned timidly when one of your nipples was wrapped by his lips, his tongue coming out to play with it. Taehyung’s other hand was occupied fondling your other breast, tugging and pressing down on it, and the sensations were taking over your mind. 

“You have great tits,” Taehyung mumbled against your skin, switching to mouth your other nipple. 

“I’m glad you like them,” you teased, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. You were letting out these cute little whimpers that were making him lose his mind. “Feels really good.” 

“Yeah?” He asked, moving back to kiss his way up your neck. His tongue was hot and heavy as it danced on your skin, and you knew that those sucks he was giving you were surely gonna leave a few marks on your flesh. But you didn’t really care. “Gonna make you feel even better, baby.” 

Your eyes fluttered shut at the pet name — it sounded heavenly when Taehyung used it with his deep, honeyed voice; his warm breath hitting your neck as he continued with his ministrations. 

He kissed his way to your cheek, placing a small pec on your lips before saying, “Can you do something for me?”

You nodded. “What is it?” 

Instead of responding right away, Taehyung’s gaze fell to your lips, and he was once again attacking them. That time, you weren’t able to hold back the whimper that you let out, your panties already glued against your core with how much he was turning you on. 

One of his hands had trailed down your exposed abdomen, teasingly playing with the hem of your shorts. You held your breath when he tugged them down, bringing your underwear with it and throwing them somewhere in the living room. Taehyung grunted loudly when his fingers slipped past your folds, digging into your heat. His brain almost short-circuited because of how wet you were. 

He broke the kiss and looked you deep in the eyes. “I want you to sit on my face, baby,” he said, and his request shot straight to your core. “Let me take care of you, okay?” 

“Are you sure?” You asked. You had never done that before.

But Taehyung wasn’t sharing your reluctance. “Yeah,” he said, voice hoarse and eyes darkened. “Wanna taste you so bad. Sit on my face, please.” 

And you didn’t need any more convincing than that. Taehyung helped you get up from the couch so he could reposition himself on it, laying flat on his back and watching as you settled yourself above him, thighs on either side of his head. The couch was the exact size for that, a little smaller and you’d have one leg dangling off the edge.

Taehyung took his hands to your thighs, running them up to your hips. His eyes were focused on your pussy, and you never felt so exposed when he started pressing you down lightly, guiding you closer to his mouth. 

You held the back of the couch for support and did as he requested, lowering yourself until Taehyung had you flat on his tongue. Your breath trembled and caught in your throat when he licked a thick stripe from your entrance to your clit, humming around the taste before doing it again. Taehyung was an expert at erasing your worries because, with a few more licks, he had you fully losing yourself in his sinful ministrations. 

It wasn’t long until you were whining out his name, your folds lazily dragging against his tongue as you started to grind on his face. “God, Taehyung!” You called out, hand coming down to tug at his hair. Taehyung grunted in satisfaction, the vibrations of his deep voice sending shockwaves through your pussy. “That’s… that’s really nice. You’re really good at this.” 

He moaned in response, closing his eyes at your words. Taehyung was eating you out like his mouth was made for it, like he was starving for your taste and you were all that he could think about. He licked you from your entrance to your clit, playing with your sensitive spots and enjoying the tremors of pleasure that ran through your thighs, his hands locked tight around your hips. You sobbed and cried over him, making special effort to keep your legs steady as you rocked yourself on his tongue. 

It was only when he decided to suck on your clit that you realized how absurdly close you were. You clenched your teeth and whined out, yanking his hair harder. “Do that again, please,” you asked and Taehyung, like the good friend that he was, was quick to comply. Taehyung wrapped his mouth around your clit in a way that had you trembling over him, licking and sucking on your sensitive nub like his life depended on it. “Fuck, that’s so good, Tae. Feels so good…” 

He moaned again, more desperate this time, and some part of your mind understood the pattern that he was presenting you: Taehyung really, really liked your compliments. And you had no problem giving away any more of them. 

“You’re licking me so well, Tae, you’re gonna make me cum like this,” you told him,  meaning every word you said. Taehyung was a Greek god beneath you, staring up at you with those dark, focused eyes as if he dared you to cum on his tongue. “God! You’re so good for me.”

And then your praises ran thin, because your mind was gravitating somewhere else — seeking for the high that was dangerously close. It was only when Taehyung started toying with your entrance, brushing two of his fingers on it, that you came undone, crying out his name like it was a personal prayer. 

There was a smirk on your mouth as you came down, a flooding relief that overtook you. You never thought that you could come so hard in your life, especially when it depended on another person, and you were so, so happy to be wrong that you could cry. 

With shaky legs, you removed yourself from Taehyung’s face, straddling his lap and watching as his lips glistened with your arousal. His pink tongue came out to lick them, a hum on his throat as he took in your fucked-out expression. 

“You did so well, baby,” he said, placing one of his hands on your waist. “Come here.” 

Obedient, you leaned in and sighed as his mouth met yours. This time, Taehyung didn’t wait to eagerly insert his tongue inside your mouth, making you taste yourself on him. 

He pulled away leisurely, his voice hoarse. “Can you taste how sweet you are?” He asked. “I loved making you cum on my tongue, baby. You looked so pretty.” 

Taehyung breathed out, planting kisses on your neck, one hand trailing down to squeeze your ass. You whined at his tight grip and pressed yourself down on him, feeling his hard cock poking out against the fabric of his sweats. 

Taehyung groaned at the stimulation, pressing down on your asscheek again. You rolled your hips on top of him, wincing in sensitivity as his member brushed your clit. “Loved your pussy so much, baby,” he continued, sounding like he was lost in a daydream, “I can’t wait to be inside you. Bet you’d be so tight for my cock, hm?” 

“Yeah,” you managed to speak. Even if you had just reached your orgasm, you were still aching to feel something inside you. You wanted Taehyung more than you could understand. “I want you to fuck me, Tae, please.” 

He breathed out, his hands tightening around your flesh as you rolled your pussy against his cock once again. Taehyung looked like he was one heartbeat away from completely losing his self control, and hearing you beg for him to fuck you wasn’t doing him any favors. “Gonna need to lie down for me, baby,” he asked. 

With a few more shifts on the couch, Taehyung had you beneath him once again, your legs open for him as he removed his shirt and pants. It wasn’t long before his cock sprung free from its confinement, standing erect. You licked your lips at the lustful sight, pussy clenching in anticipation as you took him in — Taehyung was big. Bigger than anyone you’ve ever had, that’s for sure; long and thick and already leaking for you. 

You would’ve cried out in need if he didn’t interrupt you. “What are you looking at?” Taehyung asked, the ghost of a smile creeping up on his lips. 

Your stare oscillated toward his own. “That’s why you have such a good track record, your cock is huge.” You bit your lip, thinking about how good he would feel inside you. You didn’t know how it was possible, but you were pretty sure the last time you’ve seen his cock — back in the dark ages of your freshman year of college — it wasn’t as big as that. Or maybe you just didn’t have anything to compare it to. 

“Hey, I just used my tongue on you, don’t ignore my efforts,” Taehyung teased, wrapping one of his hands around his member so he could pump himself a few times. The playful atmosphere swiftly shifted back, and, when he spoke up again, his voice was deeper. “You think you can take it?” 

“Yeah, I can,” you said. You couldn’t be sure, but you were sure going to try. 

Taehyung hummed, moving a bit closer so he could brush his tip against your pussy, coating it with your wetness. You closed your eyes in expectation, knowing that you’d love the stretch he would give you. 

“You want it?” He asked, a touch of desperation covering his words. Taehyung was nearing his breaking point, and the fluttering of your pussy on his cock was making him go insane. “Want my cock inside your tight little cunt, baby?” 

You nodded, frantic. The brushing of his thick tip on your hole was becoming too much, your walls clenching around nothing, seeking for something to fill you up. “Yes, fuck, I want it so bad.” 

“Are you tight for me, baby?” He was trying to prolong that moment for as much as he could, keep the pretty face you made when you pleaded for him to fuck you burned in the back of his head. Making you cum once was a victory he would take forever, but making you cum around his cock might as well be his life’s biggest achievement. “Ready for me to fuck you?” 

You cried out when he started pressing himself inside you, guiding his crown inside your pussy, then stopping. “Yes, Tae, just put it all in, please,” you whined, hands fumbling for support on his broad shoulders. Taehyung already had you clenching around nothing, you didn’t know what else he wanted from you. “Please, please, fuck me.” 

Taehyung chuckled, looking down at where you two met. He was only human, and his self control was short lived. “Since you asked so nicely…” 

Your back arched off the sofa as you felt the delicious drag of his large cock inside you, opening you up gradually, taking its time before filling you up to the brim. You gasped and sobbed at the overwhelming feeling, nails digging on the skin of his back as Taehyung groaned besides your ear. 

“Fuck, that’s so good.” He let out a shaky breath, and you swore you never heard his voice get so husky before. “I just slipped right in. You’re so fucking wet.” 

Your mind was an apocalypse of confused thoughts and forgotten exclamations, eyes fluttering shut as you dove into the sensation of Taehyung inside you — his hips angling backwards, tilting up just enough so he could move himself away from you core, only to come slamming back inside. The stretch of his cock was amazing, it was making you drunk, and all that you could think about was how much pleasure it was giving you. 

“So-So big—“ you muttered, half aware that the words actually left your lips. 

“How do you like it, uh?” Taehyung asked, his voice dripping sin and hunger. You could tell that he, too, was getting carried away by the feeling, his hips rutting themselves against you at a lazy pace. “Gonna give it to you any way you want it, baby.” 

You bit your lip, a small moan leaving your mouth when Taehyung leaned closer to you, distributing hot kisses on your neck. You swore you’d be happy if you died then. “I like it rough,” you answered. 

He groaned, apparently satisfied with your response. “Whatever you want.” 

Taehyung got to his knees on the couch, deciding to put one foot on the ground for support, his hands raising your hips to help him reach even deeper inside you. Faster than your brain could compute, the shallow, lazy pace he had sat was being replaced with a harsh, fast pumping that made you cry out his name, eyes closing in sheer bliss. 

“Tae! Yes, yes, just like that,” you sobbed, running one hand through your hair. You felt like your body was floating, every cell of your body overheating with the amazing pleasure that Taehyung was giving you. You never had someone fucking you so hard, his cock pistoning inside you, your body bobbing up and down on the couch. 

Taehyung’s eyes were glued to the bouncing of your breasts as he continued to fuck you, a deep groan leaving his chest. “That’s it, take it,” he moaned out, quickening his pace even more. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, mouth opening in a silent scream.  “Gonna make you cum so hard around my cock, baby. Gonna fuck you until you cry. Want that?” 

“Yes, yes, please,” you moaned. “Feels so good, Tae.” 

“You like my cock, baby? Like it filling you up?” He asked and you could only nod pathetically, your entire body too fucked out to even respond. “F-fuck, your pussy is so good. Tell me that you love my cock.” 

“I love your cock,” you whined, feeling like a complete hot mess under his thrusts. “I — fuck! — I love your cock so much, Tae, it’s so big.” 

Your words motivated him to fuck you even harder, his member hitting even deeper inside you. Taehyung was getting lost in the stretch of your pussy around him, the glorious sounds you were making, the lust that coated your face every time you called out his name. 

“Shit, I don’t know how anyone could look at you like this and not want to see that pretty face cum.” He was breathing out hard, grunting every time your cunt tightened around him. Taehyung wanted to see you like that forever, taking his cock like a good girl, creaming all over him and begging to do it again. You were wrapping around him so perfectly, taking all of him so well, that he didn’t think he’d manage to move on from that anytime soon. “So fucking hot.”

Taehyung chased after your high like a starving man looking for food, experimentally changing the angle and force of his thrusts to see what would get the best reaction out of you. At last, after a pathetically loud cry from your part after he raised your legs up, it seemed as if he had found it. “I bet you’d be so tight cumming around my cock, baby,” he was thinking out loud at that point, trying to make sense of the pretty sounds and expressions you were giving him so eagerly. He wanted nothing more than to see you cum — it was personal at that point. “I wanna feel you cum around me, baby. Wanna feel it so bad.” 

“I’m c-close.” Your nails dug into his shoulders, eyes closing tightly. There was a light heat in your cheeks and sweat on your forehead that was making Taehyung wonder if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “You’re so good, T-Tae, you’re fucking me so well…” 

Taehyung thought that he could cum right then and there, pushed over the edge with those sweet words alone. He loved being good to you, loved making you feel things that no one else managed to before. He was intoxicated by that sense of superiority, drowning in your praise. He wished that he could fuck you forever. 

“Cream my cock, baby, come on,” he pushed you on, his words hanging somewhere between an order and a breathless plea. You were getting so tight around him that it was making him crazy, your wetness coating his cock and dripping down between your legs like his own personal brand of aphrodisiac. “You can do it, come on. I wanna see you cum so bad.” 

You smiled at him, a cute, fucked-out smirk that made Taehyung go to heaven and back. “So good for me, Tae, you’re so big,” you said, your voice so needy and high-pitched. Your orgasm was looming over you, pressing down on your lower body and making you see stars. It was only a matter of time before Taehyung got you crying out his name, back arching off the couch and mouth falling open in delirium. “Tae! Fuck! Don’t stop, please, I’m gonna—“ 

But your warning came a second too late, because you were already spasming around his length, body shaking as Taehyung thrusted hard inside you. Just as expected, you were absolutely fucking gorgeous when you came — all quivering lips and rolling eyes —, and Taehyung was beyond satisfied to know that he was the only one who saw that pretty face of yours. 

“That’s it, baby, fuck.” Taehyung was starting to feel his own high approaching, called by the delicious tightening and releasing of your pussy around him. His thrusts were messy and harsh; his sweaty hair falling over his eyes like a cascade. “Can I cum inside you, baby? Can I fuck you full of my cum?”

You noticed the desperation in his tone and, with the throbbing of his member inside you, you knew that he wasn’t far. “Yes, please,” you said. “You were so good for me, Tae, you can cum wherever you want.” 

And it was that final taste of praise that pushed Taehyung over his limit; waves upon waves of cum filling you up as he rode out his high. “God— fuck!” He cried out, drunk on the feeling of your walls milking the last drops of cum out of his cock. A few lazy pumps later, and he was collapsing on top of you with a mumbled, “F-Fuck.” 

There was an instant of silence after his orgasm, the quietude only filled by Taehyung’s heavy breathing. You took one hand to his head, caressing the strands as a smile blossomed on your lips. “Well, I believe you now,” you said playfully. “I’m sure you made a bunch of girls orgasm.” 

Taehyung chuckled, breathless. “Thank you, I try,” he said, looking up at you. The darkness in his gaze was gone, and it was just your best friend staring back at you. “You alright?”

“I’m great,” you admitted. You never felt so good in your life. “You?”

“Fantastic, thanks for asking.” He leaned back so he could sit up, running one hand through his disheveled hair before saying, “I’m gonna grab you a towel, hang on.” 

Taehyung left you for a couple minutes before coming back to clean you up, tenderly wiping away the mess you two had created. After he was done, he discarded the towel on the floor and crawled back to rest on your chest once again. 

There was a comforting quietude that floated in the atmosphere, only filled by the muffled buzzing of his freezer and the vague sound of raindrops drumming on the window. You didn’t really know how to deal with that entire situation, didn’t know how things would stay between the two of you. But, at that point, you made the decision to keep those worries for the following morning and, instead, just enjoy his warmth radiating all around you. 

The glorious silence, at last, was broken when Taehyung started mumbling against your breasts.  “Hey, ___?” He called. 

“Yeah?”

“How many dates have you been on?”

You hummed, thinking for a moment. “Ever?”

Taehyung made a clicking sound with his tongue. “I don’t know, like, this past year.”

“Uh… like… five or six? I think?” You answered, looking down to meet his gaze. You knew that wicked expression very well. “Why?”

He smiled. “Because we have a lot of shitty dates to make up for.”

[fwkei]

Excited for what's to come

Rindou Haitani x fem!reader (fluffly, slightly angst, light mention of nfsw)

yass my 2nd request 🥳🥳ik that i can respond to the questions directly but it wont let me put a tittle if i do so i'm just gna do my requests like this, hopefully the person sees it, AND I HOPE U ENJOY! I had kinda a tough time with this ngl also sorry for any mistakes

CW/TW: Mentions of harassment, mentions of drugs

WC: 7.2k

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Your mouth parted in shock as anger filled you looking at his grinning face. You never thought you’d ever see this man’s face again. And you almost didn’t recognize him. But the second he spoke...you knew it was him...and he knew it was you.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” you said under your breath, bringing your hand to your head as he walked over, hands in his pockets smiling.

“Been a while, huh?” he said tilting his head at you

The familiar sight of his cocky smile sent you back, way back to when it all started between you two. Way back to when you were only 15.

You were walking home after finishing a day of school and club activities. It was mid year, finals just finished up and spring break was coming along. You felt relieved that you could finally have 2 weeks of rest, and not worry about your underclassmen and schoolwork. Since tomorrow was the last day of school, you decided you’d make a stop at the corner store. To just grab some snacks, maybe even dinner…

You held your book bag close to your body, as you opened the doors of the store. It was cold inside, you tucked your arms under each other to create some friction for warmth, as you walked around a bit you saw a group of 4 boys who all had matching uniforms, but not school uniforms. Just delinquent uniforms. You quickly glanced to see the sign of their gang, after a bit of looking, you didn’t recognize it, and decided to brush them off.

They looked around the same age as you, maybe a year older. They stood crowded in front of the cooler section laughing and talking pretty loud which already annoyed you a bit since you wanted to get a cold drink. You saw them fill their baskets with different types of beers and candy. You sorta cringed. After grabbing a few snacks and microwavable dinner you walked over to the cooler section, avoiding their presence completely, not interested or bothered by delinquents.

It was common for delinquents to be around where you lived. You often didn’t really like them, since most of them just trashed the streets and caused trouble for others, but you liked the ones that consisted of kids who just wanted to have fun and didn’t cause any harm. But definitely not groups like this, who are always waiting to just ruin someone's day.

“Excuse me-” you said avoiding eye contact, but not in a shy way

“Oh?” said one smiling

“What do you need, pretty?” he asked as his friends slightly moved out of the way, and you looked at him

“..just a drink.” you said smiling, trying to hide your irritated face while pointing to the door they were blocking

“Ahh, my bad.” he said moving out of the way, opening to door for you smiling foolishly

“Thank you.” you said giving a closed eyed smile before lowering your self slightly to grab your favorite drink

After grabbing it, you placed it in your basket and squeezed your way through the boys to get to the cashier. You smiled at the old man behind the counter as he scanned and bagged your items.

“Having dinner all by yourself? C'monn, let me accompany you, huh sweet?” said the leader walking over to you with that same smile on his face while licking his lips making you cringe

“Not interested.” you said not looking at him and grabbing your stuff, turning to walk out

“Aw c'mon..” he said following behind you as his friends dropped their stuff on the floor to follow their boss

You couldn't help but to feel a little bit worried for your own well being. When hearing them call out for you, as you so desperately tried to ignore it and go home. Still by the store's vicinity and still walking you heard him come closer and stand in front you, inching closer and closer to you making you back up with confused and worried eyes

“Don’t ignore me~” he said bringing his hand to twirl your hair

“I said I’m not interested.” you said bringing your hand to push you hair down so that he could no longer touch it

“You think that matters?” he asked as his smile faded into a smaller one but more devious

Suddenly you felt his finger tips touch your waist, and before it could escalate any further your fight or flight kicked in, you quickly raised your hand and slapped the male in front of you, and hard. Causing his head to turn a bit and arms drop from your body. You furrowed your eyebrows in anger as his hand traveled to his red cheek.

“Were you never taught that when a girl says no it means no?” you asked

You saw rage fill the man's eyes, as he brought his hand up to hit you back, both your heads turned to hear another person's voice.

“Really?” is all he said with one hand in his pocket, and the other taking out the lollipop in his mouth as he walked over with a blank expression

“The hell are you?” asked the male in front of you putting his hand down

“You’re gonna beat down on a girl for saying she doesn’t want you? Huh, ugly?” he said smiling as your eyes widened in shock at his insult to the man

Is he stupid? There's 4 guys here and he just insulted their friend. 4 v 1? The odds don’t play in his favor, and there wasn’t much you could do to help him other than call for help. But you couldn’t help but smile a little at his remark, You turnt your head to the side trying to contain your laugh.

“You laughing?” asked the male in front of you turning his rage filled gaze to you

“Yeah she’s laughing, isn't he an ugly guy?” asked the boy with blonde hair and blue highlights with glasses, grinning

“..yeah.” you said holding back your laugh and looking over at the boy, as he looked into your eyes with a look letting you it would all be okay

The male in front of you grunted as he raised his arm to hit you again, but the boy next to you blocked it with ease, signing. He held his arm steady blocking the arm from touching you. He placed his lollipop back in his mouth with one hand, then took off his glasses, turning his gaze to you. You felt your face get hot. He was just so...cool?

He softly smiled and handed you his glasses.

“Hold these for me?” he asked as you nodded your head ‘yes’ looking at him in complete awe

“Thanks-”

“I’m right here!” yelled the male coming in with another hit, you quickly moved out of the way to let him have the floor.

You held the boy's glasses in your hands as you watched him swiftly and easily doge the males attacks, and then it was all over. A single punch from the boy knocked the leader out, as he fell to the floor. Your eyebrows raised, excited.

“Isn’t he your leader? You guys are just gonna stand there?” asked the boy using his foot to turn over the body on the floor as his follower simply just ran away from the scene. The boy walked over to you, twirling the lollipop in his mouth. He took it out, throwing it into the trashcan near you before tilting his head giving you a slightly cocky smile...that you actually liked.

“Thank you.” you said bowing your head slightly at him

“No worries.” he said as you brought your head back up, still looking at him in awe

He noticed. He could tell you were stuck in awe, it was obvious by the look in your eyes. He’s never seen himself make a girl look at him like that, and honestly it made him prideful. But also fuzzy inside since he was able to make you nervous. He watched you earlier, noticing you had more of a calm personality, but the way you were now was different. He could practically feel the heat that radiated from your face. It really made him...happy? Usually all the girls he met fawn over his older brother...and it was nice having some attention for once.

He just kept looking into your eyes for a solid minute, you tried your very best to keep eye contact but it seemed as though he was lost in thought, so you looked off to the side and held out your hand with his glasses in it.

“I- uh..here by the way..” you said still looking off the side hoping he wouldn't notice your flushed face

“Thanks.” he said smiling, taking them from your hand and putting them, blinking his eyes a few times to adjust to it.

“Do you live around here? I can walk you home.” he said putting his hands into his pockets

“Yeah, just up the street. But you don't have to, really! I wouldn’t want to burden you.” you said bringing your hands up frantically at the nice gesture

“I don’t mind, honest. Here...just come with me, I gotta buy a few things first..” he said as his eyes traced your face

“Sure.” you said smiling as you both started to walk to the store

You only followed him around like a lost puppy, as he picked up a few drinks and snacks. Once he finally finished and paid, you both walked out, and started walking to your home.

“What’s your name?” you asked looking at him

“Rindou, or Rin is fine.” he said turning his gaze to you

Every. Single. Time. He looked in your eyes, it was like you were lost in trance. Although it was dark out, you could still so clearly see his eyes, they were so perfect to you. But what you didn’t know at the time was he felt the same way. He finally had someone's eyes on him, for him and no one else. He would feel fuzzy every time you looked him deep in the eye. And you both could tell there was a lot of tension, but not in a bad way.

“Yours?” he asked

“Y/n.” you said looking back in front of you

“Pretty name.” he said making you smile scrunch your eyebrows in confusion as you looked over at him

“Thanks...that’s a compliment I've never heard before from someone.” you said smiling

“Is it the type of compliment you'll remember?” he asked smiling

“Yeah, I don’t think i’ll ever forget it.” you said

“Good.” he said

“Oh- my place is just up the stairs so..thank you for walking me.” you said stopping in your tracks and pointing, smiling

“Yeah, no problem..” he said as you waved and started to walk up the stairs

“Hey-! Before you go-” he said making his way to where you were on the stairs, stopping on the stair below you, making him look up at you

You saw that his face was slightly red, and it made you smile softly as you waited for him to finish his thoughts,

“Would this be a bad time to ask you out or-?” he asked laughing, leaving you surprised

“Yes but I like you..so no.” you said

“..cool.. Then i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said said grinning and turning around to walk

“..tomorrow?” you said under your breath smiling as he made his own way home

After the most cliche moment of your life just happened, you went on to do your regular routine of going to bed. And you couldn’t help but feel so excited for what's to come.

‘What does he mean by seeing me tomorrow..he didn’t even ask if i'd be free, or tell me where we should meet….He’s so different..’

You though tot yourself as you were trying to fall asleep

The next morning, you woke, got ready, and went to school. Everything went as usual. Till one of your underclassmen from your club came barging into the club room, sweating and frantically trying to catch his breath.

“Y/N!” he yelled

“Are you alright?” you asked placing down the pen you were using to help correct a paper, while walking over to him to help him sit down

He only let out heavy breaths, and so you went over to your book bag, taking out a new water bottle and napkin. You handed him the water as he aggressively went to open it and drink it. You kneeled next to the kid and wiped the sweat that was dripping from his forehead, waiting for him to calm down.

“What happened? You look scared.” you said with concerned eyes

“Y/n! There's a man outside in front of the school asking for you!” he said

“..did he threaten you or something?” you asked thinking it was the guy from yesterday who harassed you

“No! But! But!-” he said not being able to speak his mind

“Hey! Hey! It’s alright just relax, grab your stuff and go home, okay? Club is done for today.” you said getting up and patting his head

“Sure but!”

“Don’t worry! Everything is fine-” you said walking over to grab your sweater and bag

“Do you mind locking up the classroom on your way out?” you asked to one of the club members

“Sure!” she said as you handed her the key

“Thanks so much, leave the key at the front office on your way out-!” you said walking out of the club room

You walked down the stairs of your school, walking to the front you carefully looked around, seeing no threat in sight you continued on your way, walking to the front. As you turned to start walking on the sidewalk, your face grew shocked at seeing-

“Rindou?” you asked

“Hey there, took you long enough.” he said looking up from his phone

“Sorry..? How would I know that you would be here?” you asked smiling as you walked over to him

“I thought I sent some random kid to get you.” he said

“You also scared the shit out of him.” you said as Rindou started smiling cheekily

“I swear I didn’t mean any harm-” he said bringing his arm up in defense

“Well sit down, let's go already. It's hot.” he said handing you a helmet

“Where’re we going?” you asked taking it and strapping it on

“You’ll see, come- and I’ll hold your bag for you. he said pushing himself up so that you could sit behind him

You didn't respond and only did as he said, sitting behind him, you pulled your skirt down. You felt nervous at how close you two were right now, but he seemed so calm...it was almost frustrating.

“This your first time on a bike?” he asked slightly turning his head

“Yeah, you’re not gonna wear a helmet?” you replied

“Nope, don't need it, and you should probably hold onto me though.” he said, bringing his hands up to start the motor making your heart jump at the loud sound, and before you could even do anything, he started zooming out of his parking space.

Your eyes widened and you quickly brought your arms, wrapping them around his waist, pressing your cheek against his upper back and cringing your eyes shut. Sacred for your life. You heard him laughing a bit at your reaction, and you couldn't help but to smile at it since it was so cute.

“Slow down!” you yelled trying to make yourself known over the loud engine

“You’re gonna be fine! Just trust me!” he yelled back smiling as you brought your head up slightly feeling the wind against your skin..and it felt so good. Was this what living a carefree life was like?

You couldn't help but smile so big at the feeling you were feeling right now.. It was different from any other feeling you’ve felt. It was happy mixed with...anxiousness? It left you with butterflies in your stomach. That never went away and it just made you feel so good.

‘Is this love?’

you thought to yourself holding Rindou tighter to you as he turned the bike

Rindou felt his heart flutter with your every touch, the fact that you would hold onto him tighter and tighter every time he did something new with his bike just made him smile like a fool. He found it so cute that despite the fact that you were scared, knew nothing about him, and had no idea where you were going and just trusted him because he said so made him feel...light? Like fuzzy and warm. He liked it. No, he loved it. You made him feel happy and jittery even though he knew nothing about you, but he knew how to keep a level head...but that was getting harder and harder for him to do

‘Am I in love?’

He thought to himself

He was snapped out of his thoughts when seeing the spot come into view. He slowed down his bike, turning into a dirt road with lots of trees and bushes, the sun piercing through them making it a beautiful sight. There was also a fence that was about 4 feet tall that also had a sign which said “no trespassing, private property.” which made you raise an eyebrow.

“Are we going on a hike or something?” you asked taking your arms off him and resting them on your thighs, making Rindou feel a little disappointed that your warmth was gone

“Sorta, it’s a short one.” he said, parking the bike and getting off to help you out.

“Hm.” you said smiling taking off your helmet and placing it on the handle of the cycle

You got off the cycle and walked over to where Rindou was, seeing he was making his way over the fence

“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked stopping at the fence seeing he was on the other side

“I promise. Trust me.” he said, pushing up his glasses smiling, you smiled at him and placed your foot through the openings so that you could bring your leg up to the other side.

“Alright, I will.” you said smiling as you sat on the fence, ready to jump off

Rindou held his hand out for you to grab. You placed your hand on his feeling your face get hot, again, as he wrapped his fingers around it. You put some of your weight on him as you slightly jumped off. You let go of your hand and fixed your skirt.

“Ready?” he asked holding out his hand again for you to grab

“Ready.” you said finally letting him see you blush as you held his hand making his eyes soften at you. You felt excited.

After a bit of walking through some nature, you two stopped. You held one of your hands over your eyes since the sun was shining directly at you. But your other hand never let go of his. You tilted your head in confusion seeing that you both were stopped at a lake. It wasn't too big or small. The water was clear and you could see the bottom of the body of water because of the sun's bright rays.

“..hm?” you said seeing that Rindou let go of your hand and started to take off his school shirt and jacket, you quickly turned your gaze from him

“What are you doing?” you asked avoiding looking at him

“We. We are going swimming.” he said walking in front of you smiling foolishly

“I don’t have a swimsuit.” you said smiling slightly seeing he was only left in plaid boxers

“And? C’mon it's spring break, isn’t it? Let loose a bit.” he said taking off his glasses

“Is this your cheap shot at trying to get in my pants?” you asked jokingly

“It can if you want it to be, but don’t worry that time will come eventually-” he said smiling cocky and patting your head, making your face become hot

“Smooth.” you said taking off your shoes as Rindou sat on a rock watching you

“Really?” you said after taking off your socks and skirt leaving you in your undershorts and school shirt

“What?” he said playing dumb

“Fold your clothes, don't just leave it on the floor.” you said grabbing his shirt, balling it up and throwing it at him as he brought his arms to grab it before it could hit him

“Oh? I see what you’re doing.” he said smiling and getting up, doing as you told him

“I’m sure.” you said unbuttoning your shirt, folding it and placing everything on a rock turning around to not see Rindou anywhere, you made a confused look but then you felt yourself being picked up and thrown into the water, but he stayed with you, letting you both hit the water together

You weren’t even angry, you just felt happy.

It all went in slow motion in his eyes, seeing your shocked face turn into a happy one as you splashed into the water. It honestly shocked him, the way you two so easily warmed up to each other.

After about 2 hours of just swimming, talking, fighting, and flirting. You both floated in the water watching the sun go down.

“Wanna be a thing, Y/n?” he asked looking off to the side as you let out a small laugh

“You would like a middle school boy asking out his crush-” you laughed making his face turn to yours flustered

“How else can I say it then?” he asked

“I never said it was bad, it’s cute and sure, let’s ‘be a thing’” you said making his mouth slightly part

“I like hanging out with you, relationships are just friendships but more intimate right? It’ll be fun...I like how I feel when I’m around you so it’s an easy yes.” you said resting your arms on the big pile of rocks in the water looking up at his surprised face

“See, I was gonna say all that but I didn't wanna creep you out-” he said shrugging lightly and slightly swimming over to you

You simply smiled and looked at him as he made his way closer to you.

He was completely lost in your eyes, he didn’t even feel nervous about asking you out. He just felt so comfortable, and he knew you’d say yes. He watched as you got up from the water and ringing out your hair. His eyes grazed your damp skin, and you noticed it. But you didn’t feel nervous anymore. You liked it.

“We should get out, right? The sun is almost down. I don’t want either of us to get sick-” you said making your way out of the water

“worried about me? How sweet.” he teased following you out

“Shut it-” you said smiling as you started to put on your school shirt and socks and Rindou put on his shirt and pants.

“Shit. Quick-” he said grabbing your hand

“My clothes?!” you said in a louder tone as you two started to run to a bush

“We’ll come back, keep quiet it’s the cops.” he said pulling you in front of him so that you could hide behind the bush first

“The cops?! How do you know??” you asked whisper yelling

“Shhh..” he said bringing his hand to cover your mouth as he carefully watched the two cops encounter the clothes on the floor

You brought your hand up to pull down Rindous hand, as you both watched and listened carefully. Your heart was thumping hard, you could feel it all over your body. You watched as the cops picked up the skirt you left on the ground.

“Well jeez-” laughed the cop seeing all the clothes

“Is it those damn skinny dippers again?” said one cop signing

“Probably, just pick it up and throw it away. There's no one here like always, these calls are always a waste of time.” said the cop tossing your skirt into a trash bag

“Kids are too horny these days!” yelled the cop picking up the clothes and throwing it in the trash bag

“PFT-”

Your eyes turned to Rindou who just let out a loud laugh. You brought your hand to cover his mouth quickly, but the damage was already done.

“Who’s there?!” yelled the cop walking over

“Shit, cmon!” yelled Rindou grabbing your hand as he started to run quickly, still laughing

“You DUMBASS-” you yelled as you two ran fast as Rindou was now laughing hysterically

“Stop it right there!” yelled the cops chasing after you both

“Shit!” you yelled after turning your head seeing the cops were catching up to you two

“Are they close?!” yelled rindou as you both started running faster

“Yes!” you yelled back

“Okay as soon as you see the bike just get on it, okay?!” he yelled looking back at you, grinning making your mouth part in awe

‘He’s so cool.’

You thought to yourself

The fence came into view, Rindou used his hand to hold himself up as he jumped over it quickly, and you did the same. You got onto the bike, putting on your helmet as you watched Rindou pull a pocket knife out of his pants pocket.

“What the-'' you said before being interrupted by the sound of a deflating tire, Rindou placed the knife back into his pocket as he ran over to you, sitting down and starting the cycle. Not leaving yet

“What the hell are you doing?! Drive!” you said anxiously seeing the cops come into view

“Just as second…” he said waiting for the cops to become more clear

“Now. See ya!” he yelled laughing after seeing the panting cops finally catch up to you two, teasing them into thinking they caught you both.

You started to laugh as Rindou drove away quickly with a big smile on his face.

That was probably the funniest night of your life. And that's how all your dates went with Rindou. They were all action packed, filled with adrenaline and excitement. He always showed up unannounced at your place honking, or would text you to come over to his place. It was something new everyday with him..from exploring abandoned buildings, to dining and ditching at expensive restaurants, to staying late at each other's houses just talking, to him laying his head on your lap as you treated his wounds, to almost nothing at all.

It had been 3 years of dating Rindou Haitani… The best and worst years of your life. You two fell so stupidly in love with one another. All you guys did was stupid things at first. The love was young, new, and immature. You both were exploring unknown feelings.

Rindou was your first love, and as much as you hate to admit that, you could never forget the day when you realized how you fell for him. And he for you.

After you both passed your high school years, things started to not go so great. Although you loved Rindou with all your heart, some of the stupid things he did were not cute. You were now both 18, and your mother expected you to start helping her out financially, and you completely understood that since you weren’t very wealthy. You started to take up jobs, any that you could find, basically throwing away your high school diploma, using your knowledge for no good. You didn’t mind it, but it did make you feel upset. You hoped that Rindou would notice and ask you about it but it was always the same thing over and over again with him now. Except he just became more and more aggressive with it.

He started getting into a lot of trouble by himself, and not with the help of his older brother, surprisingly. To the point where you would get calls from the police station from him asking you to come and bail him out. At first you didn’t mind, and dug into your savings to do so, but his crimes just became more expensive. You’ve bailed him out 3 times in just 1 month, and it costed you thousands of yen. And he’d only smile at you and say ‘thank you’ nothing more. It infuriated you, but you kept it inside. You’ve asked him multiple times if everything was alright, and if there was a reason for his sudden outbursts of violence. You even went as far as asking Ran, to which you got no answer from both.

Rindou was never ever considerate of your time. At first it was alright, because you two were just kids and had time to waste. But now it was obvious that it wasn't the same anymore. The love you both had, matured greatly and became way more intimate, you both understood that and the risks with it. But as it matured, you both were growing anxious. Anxious at that maybe things would never be the way they used to be. Just being stupid and in love. Like those cliche romance mangas.

You looked down at your phone after serving your last table of the knight. You were exhausted and just wanted to go home, seeing it was 11.

You received a text from Rindou saying “come over?” and it made you angry. So angry. You bit your inner cheek sighing seeing that yet again, he isn't considerate of your time. You had enough, and immediately started walking to his house trying to calm down as you took off your apron.

After walking about 30 minutes, you successfully calmed yourself down. You walked to the door, and knocked, holding all your things in your hands.

“Y/n, hi.” said Ran opening the door smiling

“Hi, is Rin in his room?” you asked smiling

“Yes,” he said, moving to the side. Ran could tell you were upset about something.

You walked over to the door of Rindous room. You knocked before entering the room, seeing he was sitting on his bed with a remote in his hand playing some sort of video game. You took a small breath to try and control yourself. And Ran stood beside the door, he couldn't help but eavesdrop at what was to happen, but you couldn’t see that.

“Rin-”

“Hold on I’m almost done-” he said toying with the remote

“...” you sat there patiently waiting, and after a couple minutes-

“Alright I’m done...What’s wrong?” he said furrowing his eyebrows slightly

“The hell do you mean ‘what’s wrong’?”

“You’re upset.”

“Of course I’m upset, you texted me, telling me to come over for what? For me to just sit here and watch you play video games? Like every other time?”

“What are you talking about? I always take you out? What made you so mad today?”

“Rindou stop acting stupid.”

“What? How am I acting stupid Y/n?” he asked with an annoyed tone

“...Rindou I’ve told you already, I don't have time like I did before, I can't just drop everything and come and hang out with you.”

“I know that, that’s why I texted you after work.”

“Yeah you texted me after my 9 hour shift, and you’ve been doing that for the past week when you see that i’m clearly tired. I have to walk 30 minutes to get here? You don’t even offer to pick me up.”

“I told you my bike is broken.”

“And?! I told you I would pay for it to get fixed but you didn’t accept my money.”

“Because I don’t want you to waste your money on something stupid like that? Maybe think Y/n.”

“You don’t seem to have a problem with me using my money to bail you out of jail, that’s just as stupid.”

“I’m stupid now?”

“I’m not saying that! The things you do are stupid!”

“I told you I’m sorry, I haven't gotten in trouble at all this week for you, okay?”

“For me? I lectured you for your own good.”

“I don’t need to hear a lecture from you right now.”

“Rindou I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but if something is bothering you and making you act differently just tell me and I’ll help you.”

“Nothing’s wrong, you’re just so sensitive now.”

“...”

“I’m always the one planning things between us, and you’re getting mad at me for continuing to do that?” he said

“Planning what? You never tell me anything until the last minute, and you just expect me to follow you.”

“And that's why I text you after work.” he said choppy breaking down the words

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Mock me, asshole.”

“..”

“I’m fucking tired after work, okay? And seeing how we’re becoming distant just makes me so upset and exhausted. I’m trying to fix things here.”

“There’s nothing to fix, if you don’t like how it is, then just leave me. It’s that easy.” he said

“Are you serious?” you asked biting your inner cheek to hold in your tears

“Yeah, I’m serious.” he said with a straight face

“So you’re okay with me just ending things right here?” you said fisting your hands out of frustration

“If that means you’ll stop complaining then yeah.” he said

You felt your heart ache, you were so unbelievably angry and sad. You got up, not looking at him as you turned to leave

“Fucking dick.” you said under your breath before making your way out of the house, passing by Ran who had wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

“Really Rindou?” said Ran to Rindou while standing at his door smiling

“What? I wasn’t the one who ended things.” he said

“Sure, but you were the one who enticed it.” he said bringing up his pointer finger

“And?” he said

“Nothing...just surprised you're not upset, she was crying as she left.” said Ran signing

“She was..?”

“Obviously.” replied Ran smiling

“It’s a shame really, I liked you two together. She was good to you, I hope you won't take a person like her for granted again, Rin.” said Ran signing before making his way to his room

Ran was always a tease to Rindou, especially about girls and you. Rindou could tell though. He could tell that Ran was trying to tease but also get an important message across to him. Ran could tell Rindou wasn't in the right headspace. He’s been out of it, and honestly Ran envys you for being able to put up with it, and also his normal crazy demeanor at the same time. There really isn't any other person other than you and Ran that have had such an impact on Rindou.

After you left, Rindou just sat there with a blank expression. He got a notification on his phone, lighting it up, forcing him to see his screen saver which was a picture of you two. Your laughing face at the bottom of the screen, as his hands were messily in your hair, spreading hair dye all over with a smile on his face looking down at you with such awe.

He looked away from his phone and brought his hands to his hair, grasping it in frustration. It was what RIndou wanted. In your eyes, you saw Rindou losing interest, in his eyes, he saw someone too good for him. He held you back, right?

---

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Been a while, huh?”

“You two...know each other?” asked Kakucho who was showing you around the building

“...”

Complete silence as you both just looked into each others eyes, you slightly angry, and him smiling.

“Yeah-” you both said at the same time looking over at Kakucho

“Oh! How so?” he said giving a surprised smile

“...”

You both looked back at each other, you switched your gaze to look off to the side

“Old...uh..friends.” you said smiling at Kakucho as he nodded his head

“Friends?” said Rindou furrowing his eyebrows playfully, making you feel anxious.

“Yes, friends.” you said

“Should I give you 2 some time alone-?” asked Kakucho sweat dropping

“No-”

“Yes-”

“..”

“After the meeting.” you and Rindou said at the same time, again.

“...Well alright then, let’s go to the table?” said Kakucho trying to ease the tension between you two

“Sure.” you said smiling at him

“Right this way-” he said walking in front of you as you followed, feeling Rindous presence behind you making you nervous.

As the table came into view, you saw a few other men sitting down and discussing things. You smiled and waved as they turned their attention to greet you.

“Y/n?” asked Ran smiling, clearly very surprised standing up a bit to reach your hand

“Hello! Good to see you again,” you said smiling and shaking his hand

“...Interesting.” he said sitting back down smiling over at his younger brother who looked annoyed

“Ran, you’ve met Y/n?” asked Kokonoi

“Y/n was friends with Rindou and Ran-” said Kakucho smiling trying to avoid another tension filled conversion

“I see, then Sanzu will be right over. But Y/n is going to be our financial guide/supervisor. Today’s meeting is about the recent drop in our drug sales.” said Kokonoi passing around packets

You pulled one towards you and sat down between Kakucho and Rindou, reviewing over the packet immediately noticing some major details.

“Alright!!” you heard a man yelled as he walked into the room throwing himself onto his chair

“Oh, new girl that Koko haired right? Y/n is it?” he asked looking over at you

“Yeah-” you said smiling

“Pleasure~” he said smiling leaning over the table to shake your hand

“Likewise.” you said letting go and sitting back down fixing your dress

After a bit of bickering between the men for about 10 minutes, you finally finished your analysis.

“What you should do is drop oxy shipments, sales go down every month by 2%, Within 6 months you’ll be losing more money than you will make with drugs. Also the place you’re getting your oxy shipments from recently is just faux opioids. I get you switched to a new provider since you weren't making money but they’re not even a type of opioid. They were recently in a feud with another gang just a week ago for selling synthetic drugs. They make business by buying cheap things and selling it for 10x it’s price. So the reason you’re losing money is simple, your clients aren’t getting their desired high. Opioids are too expensive to buy in big shipments so I recommend switching to another drug. Adderall is becoming popular among students and soon with others. Taking it gives you a rush of energy and good feelings all around, switch to selling adderall instead of faux opioids, and you’ll be making a lot more money.” you said showing your paper to the men

“How are you so sure?” asked Rindou looking over your notes

“It’s right in front of you.” you said not looking at his direction causing Ran to put his head down to contain his laugh and Rindou smiles at you remark

“I’m all for it.” said Sanzu smiling

“I also brought samples if any would like to try.” you said

“Oh how nice!” said Sanzu smiling at you as you placed the small container in his hand as he opened it and swallowed one happily

“When will we start to see an increase?” asked Kokonoi

“Oh right so here I made-”

You went on to explain your reasoning to Ran, Koko, and others. Within an hour they all seemed satisfied and impressed with your work, while Sanzu was just in a mind of his own enjoying himself

“Alright then I'll start making calls.” said Koko giving you a soft smile

“Sure, let me know if you need any help.” you replied back as the other men started to pack their papers

“Y/n, would you like to finish the tour?” asked Kakucho

“Maybe next time?” you said smiling trying to cover your annoyed face at feeling Rindou tap your shoulder

“Ah understood- no worries.” he said smiling

You turned to look up at Rindou

“My office alright with you?” he asked placing his hands into his pockets

“Yeah.” you said bringing your hand to your necklace, playing with it

You felt nervous as you followed Rindou into his office, anxious, like that first time he walked you home. You haven't seen him in years, it was so overwhelming. You were surprised at yourself for not getting more angry today.

He opened the door of his office for you, you walked in and sat on one of the chairs, as Rindou closed the door, walking over, leaning himself against the table as he just looked down at you. You looked to the side to cover the flushed face you very much did not want him to see.

“Stop looking at me like that.” you said looking him in the eye

“Like what? You look good.”

“...Just say what you want to say so that I can go home.” you said looking off to the side trying to ignore the fact that butterflies just filled your stomach

“How’ve you been?” he asked smiling noticing how his words took affect on you

“Fine. Went to university like I wanted..” you said

“I’m glad, Y/n.” he said

“What are you getting at here?” you asked getting frustrated

“Nothing, I just miss you.” he said

“Don’t say things like that. It’s not fair.”

“Y/n-”

“No, don’t say anything anymore-”

“I’m sorry.” he said making your mouth part then close quickly as you looked to the side trying to control the overwhelming emotions taking over you right now

“I don’t know what you want me to say to that.” you said getting up from your seat, walking to the door, stopping in your tracks when you felt his hand grab your wrist gently

“Just say what you feel like saying.” he said, getting up from leaning on his desk to stand in front of you, making your eyes widen in shock at the sudden intimacy

“I-” you said, getting lost in his eyes again like it was your very first time looking in them. Your eyes traced his face, appreciating every little detail, finally looking at his lips seeing them smirk slightly

“Fucking dick.” you said under your breath before bringing your hand to his jaw, pressing your lips onto his. You felt his arms hold your waist as his mouth moved in sync with yours, his mouth was so warm and hungry for yours. You missed being this intimate with him. He moved you against the wall of his office before breaking the kiss, breathing heavily and looking you deep in the eye

“are you...seeing anyone?” he asked 

“..No.” you replied

“Then..Wanna be a thing, Y/n?” he asked smiling after seeing you smile at the familiar words

“Sure, let’s be a thing’”

You said, excited for what's to come.

------------------

Bonus lmao

“You guys are done, great-” said Kakucho as his smile faded as he realized what just happened in Rindous office.

“Yeah. We’re done.” you said patting down your hair and fixing the strap of your dress

“We made up.” said Rindou smiling while fixing his tie and wiping under his lip

“...” Kakucho was left with wide eyes and a flustered face, as Rindou and you nonchalantly walked back to the meeting table to grab your stuff and leave.

[piercingbonez]

gone || thomas shelby x reader oneshot

warnings: angst angst angst! swearing

words: 1.2k

a/n: a more depressing oneshot after the teeth rotting fluff last week. got to keep you all on your toes! please let me know what you think! feedback is extremely appreciated and encouraged.

enjoy!

-

The last words you’d spoken to him hung heavy in the air between the two of you. A question you’d asked with fear in your eyes and terror for the answer.

You couldn’t even look at him, not even vaguely in his direction. Your eyes burned but there were no tears, you felt like your head was going to burst at any moment. His response stinging in your mind, bringing everything to a screaming halt. For a moment you didn’t even believe he’d said those words. You refused to accept that what he was saying was the truth. It couldn’t be.

The room was thick with tension, neither one of you wanting to address the conversation you’d just had. He’d probably just say a simple sorry and leave anyway, he’d never been good with emotions. But you knew that when you got together, and now part of you was regretting even meeting the man before you.

He’d given you the best years of your life but was it worth it for the heartbreak he’d just delivered to you?

With clenched fists and pain on your face you finally lifted your eyes to flick over his form. He was still sat in the same position as he was before, cigarette still perched between his fingers. He didn’t display any emotion, not sadness, not anger, not even guilt. He’d got good at that, hiding how he felt, but now that fact just stung, he’d just ruined everything you’d built up and he didn’t even have the decency to look anything other than bored.

“You’re being serious, aren’t you?” Were the only words you could force out past your gritted teeth. There was a flicker of something in his eyes, maybe remorse, you hoped he felt guilty.

He seemed to pause to think of a response, bringing his cigarette up to his lips to inhale every few moments, a mechanical movement that was second nature for him. On a normal day you’d admire the way his lips curled up in what could be mistaken for a smile when the cigarette made contact with them, or the way his icy blue eyes looked through the smoke. But not today. Not now. Not ever. As you watched him now you saw how he looked more at ease holding a cigarette than he ever did holding you.

He’d never been particularly….affectionate. Maybe on your wedding night, but that was such a distant memory now you refused to allow yourself to think back on it.

After all, your marriage now meant nothing. Years spent with the man you presumed your soulmate came crashing down in a matter of seconds, with one simple word. “Yes.” Which he repeated again in response to your question.

Now yes, in a relationship was typically something positive.

Yes, i’ll be your girlfriend.

Yes, i’ll be your wife.

Yes, i’d love to take the next step.

You’d never dreamed that this conversation would happen, it was so out of your mind it wasn’t even a nightmare or a worry you’d ever had.

But it was real, it was more real than anything else.

“You still love her, don’t you?” You replayed your own words in your head.

“Yes.” Yes. Fucking yes. Not even an i’m sorry, or even a look of guilt. The worst part was, as he uttered those words he almost looked relieved. Relieved that he’d finally stopped lying to you.

You thought about the previous night, and even the morning, now feeling like an age ago when he’d kissed your forehead and told you he loved you.

Lies. All of it. Fucking lies.

“For how long?” You mumbled, but you weren’t sure you even wanted to know the answer. But you had to, you had to know how long this had been happening, how long he’d been lying to you.

“I’m sorry.” He finally muttered, but his words were hollow and meaningless. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t going to fix anything, nothing could repair what had just happened.

“How long?” You repeated, unable to hold back the anger in your tone anymore. His jaw clenched as you pressed further, clearly not wanting to admit that he’d spent fuck knows how long whispering empty words to you.

“She wrote to me a few months ago.” Months. Fucking MONTHS.

You couldn’t stop the way your hands shook, with anger, fear or sadness you didn’t know. Every emotion you felt was negative, drowning you. Everything was way too much all at once.

“Months? Thomas? Months?” You stumbled out in disbelief, glaring at him, hoping he’d understand just how much he hurt you.

“Yes. I met with ‘er once.” As if it couldn’t get worse, the words he spoke packed a bigger punch than any physical action. “Im not going to lie to you.” You couldn’t believe the audacity of this man, the way he so nonchalantly admitted to loving his ex, to lying through months of a marriage.

“You did lie! You have lied! Every time since you’ve told me you loved me was a lie!” Your voice rose with each word, more and more anger bubbling up inside of you. You wished this was just some sick nightmare, that you’d wake up any moment, that he’d hold you close and brush your hair gently before kissing your forehead and telling you to go back to sleep, that you were safe with him.

His face remained stony, practically emotionless as he continued to smoke, almost tauntingly as he watched you. His eyes seemed to analyse every tense and twitch of your body, as if he was trying to sense your next move.

“I need to go sort something out.” He stubbed his cigarette out on the ashtray beside him before rising to his feet. His movements were robotic, almost as if he simply wasn’t at all affected by what they’d just discussed. “I’ll be back in a few days.”

Days. D a y s.

Typically you’d smile, be a nice loving wife, make him promise to be safe and eat well, ensure he knew just how much you loved him before he left, kisses and hugs and admittance of affection.

But now, when you’d normally reach for his body to wrap around yours, you remained still. It was your turn to be emotionless now.

You had no idea when he would return, and for a moment, somehow that hurt than the knowlege that you no longer occupied his heart.

Because was leaving, but then again, maybe he’d already left. Was he ever really with you when his heart was longing for someone else, when he’d visited the woman he promised you he no longer harboured feelings for. You didn’t know. Nothing made sense as you stared at his now empty chair, feeling the sadness finally begin to well in your eyes.

You didn’t dare to turn to watch him leave, simply listened until his footsteps were a distant echo. And then they were gone. And he was gone.

It was as if nothing mattered, because nothing did, did it? What was life if he wasn’t by your side. You’d built everything up alongside him, planned a future out around him. You’d imagined your entire life with him.

And now it was all gone.

But there was one thing you knew you had to do.

You had to pack, because two can play at that game.

And then you were gone.

[adoringhaikyuu]

kyoutani x gn!reader • (angst to fluff)

kyoutani doesn’t think he deserves you. he never did and he honestly doesn’t think he ever will.

you’re too sweet to him, too understanding. you’re always thinking about him even when he’s not there––and he knows that by the way you bring him his favorite snack whenever you pass by the store on the way to his house, and by the way you make sure to double check the weather when he’s on the way to yours, to make sure he has a proper jacket or an umbrella if he needs one.

he never understood when people said “it’s the little things.” but now, it’s the little things that simultaneously mean the most to him and make him want to punch something, because they remind him of how much better you are than him, how you’re too good for him.

he’s not wired the way you are, he wasn’t raised to be caring or sweet. in comparison to you, he feels wrong, broken. you deserve someone who can be upfront about their feelings, someone who always knows just what to say or do. he’s none of those things. he felt like he was holding you back.  

so he pushed you away. he stopped answering your messages, going from leaving them on delivered to purposely leaving you on read. it hurt him inside but he knew it was for the best. 

one week passed by with no word from him, and you assumed he just needed some space––he was more of the independent loner type and you respected that. but when another week passed and still nothing from him, you started to get worried––did something happen? was it you? 

kyoutani was about to order something for dinner when his doorbell rang. thinking it was a package or something, he opened the door and felt his breath hitch when he found you on the other side of it. his eyes flitted down to see the familiar bag of his favorite snacks in your hand and he felt like crying and screaming all at once. despite the pleading, desperate look in your eyes, you were still here, still here for him. 

“taro are you okay? i’m worried about you.” 

truth is, he was a coward. if he really wanted to let you go, he would have ended things in person, with actual words. but he knew if he looked into your eyes, the way he was now, he wouldn’t be able to break your heart like that. it’s why he couldn’t just slam the door and shut you out of his life permanently.

he swallowed thickly and stepped aside for you to come in. you took your shoes off and placed the bag on the table in his living room before sitting down hesitantly. “did something happen?” 

he stood across from the couch, stiff as a board, arms crossed. he shook his head and let out a quiet “no.” 

you paused, your voice significantly smaller when you spoke up again.“do you not want me any more, is that it?” 

he looked down and clenched his jaw, about to turn when he realized there was nowhere for him to go. this was his house after all. 

“talk to me, taro. tell me what’s wrong––”

“me.” his voice was blunt, but you could hear a hint of pain in it. 

you stood up and stepped towards him but he took a step back. you froze, “what? what do you mean?” 

he kept his gaze on the floor. “i’m not good enough.”

you stood there, shocked. what on earth was he talking about? “good enough? for what?”

“for you!” his raised his voice, finally looking up at you. his eyes were blazing but the anger wasn’t towards you, no, it was towards himself. “i’m not good enough for you! and it’s only a matter of time before you realize that for yourself––you deserve better––”

with each word he said, you shook your head, offended by what he was saying. you quickly closed the distance between you and placed your hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. you looked at him with fierce eyes, despite the unshed tears pooling in them. “kentaro listen to me. you are more than enough for me. you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, do you hear me? i have never once thought to myself that i wished you were different or ‘better’, because i think you’re perfect the way you are.” 

he blinked the tears away and cleared his throat, fighting off his emotions, stubborn as ever. he couldn’t talk, afraid that the lump in his throat would take over, but you understood, of course you did. so when you pulled him in for a hug and wrapped your arms around him. he held you tight, letting out a harsh but clearly relieved breath as he sunk into your hold. 

“i’m not going anywhere, taro, okay?” 

he held you tighter and nodded, his voice small. “m’sorry.” 

you shook your head, “it’s okay baby, i’m not going anywhere.” you pulled away and he roughly wiped his eyes as you smiled up at him. “so don’t push me away, alright?” 

he wrapped his arms back around your waist, and nodded. “can you stay over tonight?” 

you smiled and pulled him in for a kiss and he could feel the tension leaving his body. “of course.”

you were definitely too good for him, in his opinion––but he now realized that just meant he had to work damn hard to be the man you deserve. 

[skiller0dani]

Broken Paradise | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut requests info wc | 9.1k summary | you run into an ex boyfriend during an interrogation. except it's you being interrogated, and it's your ex boyfriend doing the interrogating.

song

another draft just waiting to be published. really obsessing over Spencer Reid.

also there's mentions of abortion, nothing graphic it's literally just a short direct reference and nothing else.

You always hear people say your past will come back to haunt you, you just didn't know they meant literally. You leaned back against the metal chair in the interrogation room, you've been in here for what felt like hours. You couldn't complain too much seeing as it's your fault that you're in here at all. You wished they'd come in and tell you something, give you an update, say hi, say anything. You seriously underestimated how maddening silence can be. You knew little about the murders the police were investigating, something about druggie women being found mutilated. The pictures they showed you were downright horrifying, you'd need at least one solid bottle of tequila to forget the bodies of those poor women.

The Las Vegas Police Department were a bunch of judgmental pigs, the only reason they'd brought you here at all was because you were from the wrong side of the tracks. Both of your parents were users, and if you were lucky, also dead. They probably assumed you used as well, and seeing as you seemed to fit the killers physical preference the police brought you in for questioning and also for your own "safety". But really you knew they didn't give a damn about your safety, they just wanted to know where you got your shit from. No matter how many times you insisted you didn't use, they kept pushing. When one male officer started throwing your parents in your face, you stood up and promptly broke his nose. That's how you landed yourself cuffed to the table, tightly.

"Oh thank you so much for gracing me with your presence once more." You smiled sarcastically as another officer walked in, wait he's definitely not an officer. The man who entered the room had cleanly cut dark hair, and wore an expensive looking black suit. Not the run of the mill beat cop that you were expecting. You bit back any other fiery remarks, if you wanted to get the hell out of here you needed to cooperate. Diana would be expecting you, not that you were itching to see her but after letter number 75 of her begging you to swing by- well lets just say that Spencer's mother was never the problem. You doubt Spencer even knew Diana was contacting you, which was good. You wanted nothing at all to do with him.

"I'm Agent Hotchner here with the FBI I need to ask you a few questions." This man was all business, you seriously had to fight the urge to fuck with him a little bit.

"I'd shake your hand but..." Your eyes flickered towards the table, where the police officer who's nose you broke had very tightly handcuffed you. In fact he cuffed you so tightly that your wrists were already raw and bleeding a bit.

"They wouldn't have handcuffed you if you didn't punch an officer. Did he hit a nerve?" The Agent's face was level, and gave nothing away as to what he was thinking. You tongued the inside of your cheek, your foot tapping quickly on the concrete floor. These assholes were really starting to piss you off.

"He was being a dick, how many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't use? Are your heads filled with sawdust?" You snapped roughly, yanking away from him to lean back in your chair despite the biting pain in your wrists.

"That's not why I'm here Miss Y/L/N." Agent Hotchner said, his voice even and his eyes on you. The way he was looking at you made you feel exposed, like he could read all of your secrets because of the way your eye twitches when you're nervous. You hate these damn FBI profilers- wait.

"How's Spencer?" It's a shot in the dark, a very long shot in a very dark tunnel. Before the scumbag left you without warning, Spencer mentioned that someone was trying to recruit him for the BAU department of the FBI. The profilers. Spencer left and never came back, two guesses as to where he went. Your eyes locked onto the Agent's in front of you, and from the slight upturn at the corner of his brow you knew you got him. Spencer is here.

"You know Dr. Reid?"

"So he's a Doctor now, doesn't surprise me. Let me guess, he has PHD's and Doctorates in Math, Chemistry and something to do with Geography right?" You say as casually as you can and you can only hope this man is wondering how you happen to know so much about one of his Agents.

"Unless I'm speaking to Spencer Reid, I want my lawyer." You snap, leaning back. You know Spencer won't talk to you, and unless they have physical proof you're guilty of something they'll have to let you go.

Check mate.

//

Spencer couldn't ignore the questioning glances from his fellow teammates even if he'd wanted to. He watched you lean back in your chair from the other side of the one way glass, what are the chances that you are wrapped up in this case? You of all young petite blonde women in the metro area. The world was fucking with him, it had to be.

"She a friend of yours?" Derek's voice was the first to cut through the silence.

"No." One word answers were the safest route, the shortest diction would give little time for them to draw information out of the way Spencer was speaking. There was a tremble in his tone, he knew there was. Spencer prided himself for having little to no baggage behind him, but of all unopened suitcases- his previous relationship with you was the largest one.

"Really? Cause she seems to know a lot about you." Derek said, his eyes fixed on Spencer. The tension in the room was palpable, and suddenly it felt hard for Spencer to breathe let alone compose himself. After shoving free from the small viewing room, Spencer found it a lot easier to exist without the scrutinizing gazes of his coworkers.

"You hear her?" It was Hotch, with a patiently guarded expression on his face. Spencer and drugs wasn't an uncommon problem, although in the past his poison of choice was dilaudid. Now there's a string of drug related murders and a possible junky who seems to know a lot about him.

"Yeah, from before the Bureau." Spencer clarified quickly, and Hotch honestly looked the tiniest bit relieved.

"Think you could talk to her, she's made it obvious she won't talk to any of us." Hotch said, and from the tension building in Spencer's shoulders he can tell there's some bad blood between the two of you. Spencer took a deep breath before taking all of those unresolved emotions and forcefully shoving them down. Deep, deep down. It's time to do a job, there's a missing woman who needs to be saved.

//

When that door opened again, you thought you'd won. You thought they were coming to begrudgingly release you. Instead you were met by the big doey eyes of Spencer Reid, your first and last love. All the air was stolen from your lungs in an instant, the memories flood back and you can't stop them. The anger rises then, this is the first time you've seen him since he left you. The one person you trusted not to leave you did, he left like everyone leaves you. Like your parents left you. He's very clearly all business, his face hardly giving anything away as he swiftly reached down to unlock the handcuffs around your wrists. If you wanted to walk away from this without your heart getting broken you needed the upper hand.

"Heya baby." You smiled, you hoped that maybe it would disarm him. At least a little, but when you looked at him all you saw was a stoic and focused expression. Nothing? Really?

"I need to ask you a few questions Miss Y/L/N." Spencer's voice was controlled, even in tone. His voice... God his voice could bring you right to tears. You could still hear him saying how much he loved you with that stupidly angelic voice of his. Spencer was very quickly taking control of the situation and you did not like that at all.

"You know you can ask me anything, there's no secrets between us right Spence?" You leaned forward on your elbows, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing in your wrists. One of Spencer's biggest giveaways is eye contact, when he's upset or feels guilty he'll avoid looking into your eyes. You turn your gaze up to meet his, but once again you're completely disarmed to see him unabashedly looking into your eyes like it isn't a problem at all. Either Spencer has amnesia and forgot who you were, or what happened between you two doesn't hurt him like it hurts you. You refuse to believe it's the latter, he just forgot. Definitely forgot. Somehow he must have forgot.

"Nina Fredricks, have you ever seen her?" He slid a photo in front of you, you recognize her as the woman who was most recently kidnapped. Most recently being 12 hours ago so chances of her still being alive are unfortunately slim. You nibble on your lower lip, come to think of it you actually might have seen her.

"Yeah, saw her at Winchell's, little coffee shop on the corner of 5th? You remember right Spence? You used take me there all the time, I loved giving you head under the table." You smirk, but it quickly falters. Whatever training he went through must have stripped him of all emotion and turned him into a machine. Built only to solve cases and do nothing else. That wasn't the case however, you just didn't know how good Spencer is at compartmentalizing his emotions. He could only imagine the looks on his coworkers faces upon hearing you say that, at least he can just say you were lying to try and illicit some sort of reaction from him. They don't have to know that you totally used to slip under the table and swallow his cock in a diner full of people. They don't know about that side of him, and Spencer doesn't plan on changing that.

"When?" He presses on with the interview, and surprisingly you're forthcoming with information when you're speaking to Spencer. Even after all this time, he has this annoying power over you. This innate ability to get you to do whatever he wants you to, although you would prefer him to use this special ability in the bedroom. No! No you have to eradicate thoughts like that, Spencer hurt you worse then anyone else ever has. He hurt you worse because he made you think he was going to stay, and then he didn't.

"Few nights ago, she looked really messed up though. Winchell threw her out, definitely doped up on something. Before you ask, no I didn't see where she went." You sigh, finally giving up flashing Spencer the all too familiar 'you win' look. Usually a victorious grin stretches across his face, but not this time. Those times are over.

"Did you see anybody with her?" You're not entirely surprised that Spencer isn't writing any of this down, that stupid eidetic memory. You're fooling yourself if you think he forgot what happened, Spencer never forgets anything. Ever.

"Every detail matters."

You genuinely try to remember if anybody was with Nina, and while you didn't see anyone you remember shortly after she left the diner there was this horrible screeching sound. "After Nina left I heard what sounded like tires screeching on the street. Never saw a car though."

"Thank you Miss Y/L/N, is there anything else you can remember about that night? Anything that sticks out?" After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you shake your head.

"Am I free to go?" You ask quietly and Spencer shakes his head.

"Unfortunately we're going to have to keep you in protective custody. We'll move you to a more comfortable room, but you'll need to stay in the precinct."

"But why? I'm not a drug addict-"

"You are exactly this killers type, and we don't know if looking a certain way is more important or if being a drug addict is when it comes to him choosing his victims." Spencer explains simply, his mouth moving a mile a minute as he stands. When he turns his eyes back on you, you realize he's waiting for you to follow him. You stand and follow him out of the cold interrogation room to a comfier waiting room. It has a table and chairs, vending machine and a big plush couch.

"You can stay in here, we'll let you know when it's safe to go home." Spencer says, and this is when you finally catch the crack in his façade. His eyes flicker away from yours, trying to disguise the waver in his voice, the desperation to vacate the room as quickly as he can. But now that you've seen him break, even a little, you're going to crack him wide open. You won't let it go that easily.

"Spencer?" Your voice is soft, with an innocent drawl that Spencer can't resist. He turns his head to look at you, swallowing thickly when his eyes meet yours.

"You do remember me don't you? Once upon a time we were in love." You see the rest of his coworkers trying and failing to look like they're not listening. But it's not like you care if they do, Spencer will though but luckily his back is to the door. After a few moments of tense silence, he finally speaks.

"Of course." It's not the answer you were hoping for but it's an admission, which is more then you were getting earlier.

"Do you miss me Spencer? Miss me in bed next to you?"

"W-Well I-"

"Do you miss when I used to cook your favorite dinner every night when you came over? Do you miss how I loved you unconditionally?" Your voice was steadily growing more hostile, and you knew there were tears building in your eyes. This has all been building up for so long you know you can't stop it now.

"Y/N-"

"Do you miss being able to fuck me whenever the hell you want? Is that what you miss the most Spencer? You must not miss me that much because when you left I didn't even get a fucking call! You didn't even say goodbye, you just left!" You were yelling now, with tears streaming down your face. Spencer had slyly shut the door by now, he knew this was going to happen the second he saw you. He wished he could help you understand why he had to leave the way he did. He was trying to protect you, and he still firmly believes he's protecting you. Look what happened to Haley, what happened to Maeve. Spencer loved Maeve and he lost her like Hotch lost Haley, and Spencer can't lose you. Not you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to you.

"Please try to understand-" You never even let him get close to finishing his thought.

"Understand what? Leaving me? You said you loved me! How could you love me and then leave me alone? While I was pregnant!" Your hands flew to your mouth, you honestly never planned on telling him that. Spencer's eyebrows rose high in the air, and you can tell you just knocked the wind out of him. Spencer's hand reached back for the door handle, "pregnant?"

"Spencer I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you that way." You tried to explain, and despite the fact that he'd abandoned you, you were dead terrified of him leaving again now that he was stood in front of you.

"Do I have a child you never told me about?" His voice is shaky, afraid. Now you can see all his coworkers heavily invested in your conversation.

"N-No, I...I got rid of it." You said softly, watching the mix of emotions swirl across his face. When his trembling palm curls around the door handle you launch forward to grab at his arm.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave. Not again-" But he's pulling his arm free from yours and turning out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

//

Spencer ignored the questions, he ignored the looks. His legs gave out somewhere near one of the couches. He stared ahead numbly, trying to make sense of what you'd just told him. Trying to somehow wrap his head around the terror of you being pregnant and then the grief of the lost possibility all at the same time. By now, JJ and Rossi had shooed everyone away from Spencer. Which he was immensely grateful for, the only thing he wanted now was to be alone. Completely and entirely alone.

Pregnant.

The word kept replaying like a scratched record, screeching in his ears every time he closed his eyes. Spencer pressed the balls of his palms into his eyes when he heard the distinct sound of footsteps approaching him. Whoever it was, he already wished they would go away.

"Damn Kid, I didn't expect you to date such a spitfire." Derek joked as he sat down, doing what he can to ease the tension. Spencer didn't even bother looking up at him, his head stubbornly lowered and his gaze locked on the ground. Derek racked his brain for something adequate to say, but what was there to say? How could Derek find a way to make this right? Spencer just found out you were pregnant with his child and that you'd got an abortion all in the same 10 seconds. It was a lot to process.

"You gotta talk to her Spence." Derek's voice was less humorous this time. Spencer wrung his hands nervously, his eyes finally lifting to meet Derek's. A sharp shake of his head and a flash of the tears in his eyes and Spencer stands, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. Time to get back to work. Someone has to talk to you, Derek can't stand of someone crying by themselves like that.

"It's not really my place-" JJ tried to argue as Derek stood in front of her.

"Someone needs to talk to her, and Spencer isn't going to." Derek said, rubbing a hand down his face as his eyes flickered back to Spencer. Who was currently throwing himself headfirst into the geographic profile of the killer they're looking for, because maybe if he works hard enough the rest of the entire world will just disappear. Maybe if Spencer keeps working and does nothing else you'll just vanish from that room and he won't have to deal with this. It's not that Spencer wants you to go away, the opposite actually but there isn't room in his life for you anymore. It's not safe. Spencer would rather be alone for the rest of his life then put you in danger because he's lonely and misses you.

"Alright, fine. But only for Spence." JJ says, jabbing a finger in Derek's direction before reluctantly heading towards the room you're in. She glances back at Spencer, who has become consumed by the map in front of him. JJ can always tell when something is bothering him, he has physical giveaways. The way his shoulders are rigid as he scribbles something on the whiteboard, the furrow in his brow that lets her know that while he's working on something, his mind is elsewhere. The tremble in his palm from trying so hard to hold everything back, everything he doesn't want anyone else to see. To someone that doesn't know Spencer, he looks perfectly composed, his attention and focus completely on his work. JJ knows him well enough to know that his mind, and heart are sitting tattered in this waiting room on the couch next to you.

JJ creaks the door open, flashing you a smile that makes you absolutely hate her guts. Spencer probably has some puppy love crush on her, she's beautiful. Long blonde hair, slender body, stunning smile. Everything you're not.

"Hi I'm Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ." The way she's looking at you lets you know that she came in here to try and understand. You're not in the mood to talk to her or anybody else in this stupid building except for Spencer. You want to hate him so bad but you can't. You can't because of how much you fucking love him. The bastard.

"Look I know you're probably not all that excited to talk to me-"

"I want Spencer." You snap, and by the look on her face you can tell she isn't surprised that you said that. JJ chewed on the inside of her cheek, how does she say that Spencer doesn't actually want to talk to you?

"Dr. Reid is needed elsewhere right now, but I'm willing to talk if you need to."

"You don't have to lie Agent Jareau. I know he doesn't want to see me, he's doing that thing where he pretends to work on something while secretly obsessing over something else." You say casually, and the fact that you can pick Spencer apart so easily is somewhat off-putting to JJ. But that could be her unrequited crush on him shining through, deep down JJ doesn't like that some other woman knows Spencer better then she does. While you'd love to sit here and wallow in your misery, a much worse idea strikes you then. If you can't talk to Spencer why not fuck with the woman who's clearly in love with him.

"And the little twitch in his fingers, the slight clench in his jaw. See that? He keeps rolling his shoulders back," while everything you were saying isn't a lie- it's guaranteed to annoy her. JJ stayed quiet, she hated that she didn't know what the goddamn twitch in his fingers meant.

"He's tense, but there's more. He can't stand still, keeps shifting from foot to foot. It's driving you crazy that you don't know why he's doing that." You laugh as her annoyed eyes flash to yours for a second before settling on Spencer again.

"You're a profiler, you can't figure it out? That doesn't surprise me, you've probably never considered the fact that Spencer has an unusually high sex drive." Your words completely stun her, and JJ's cheeks flush profusely.

"It means he's horny." You say casually, leaning back against the couch. You love the blush on her cheeks, and the fact that she's clearly biting her tongue to avoid saying something rude. You love that you got under her skin, and yes you're aware that you're a bad person. Now that you've said it, JJ can't get it out of her damn head. Spencer is horny. Spencer isn't a virgin. The thought of Spencer having sex makes JJ feel a sick turning in her gut. She was happy believing Spencer was a virgin, believing that nobody has gotten to experience that side of him yet. Happy to believe that he was untouched, but apparently that was not the case. Now that the illusion has been shattered, JJ feels as though the jagged pieces of it are cutting into her, and she knows you enjoy watching her bleed.

"Trust me, I know just what to do to relieve the tension, I know how to get him off quick. Do you?" You smile as you let your eyes shamelessly drag down his slender frame.

"You're only saying this because you want to control the conversation, and you hate that I see him everyday. That I can talk to him whenever I want, about whatever I want. You wouldn't lash out if you didn't feel intimidated." JJ says calmly, rendering you just as speechless as she was moments ago. The pain that was sent stabbing into your heart caused you to recoil back from JJ, trying to hide your misty eyes from hers. You can't let her know that she's winning.

"Look, we can both get nasty all we want but that's not why I'm here. I just want to help." JJ says sincerely, but you still don't budge. JJ taps her fingers against the wood of the table, thinking about leverage she can use to get you to talk to her.

"Spencer fell in love again." JJ says finally, and this time you turn your gaze up to look at her. You push your emotions down, no matter how much it hurts to hear her say that. Who is she? Are they still together?

"If you want to know more about her, then I suggest you talk to me. An answer for an answer, fair?" You can see her trying to bait you, and damn her because it's working.

"Fine." You grumble, leaning back fully against the couch. Your eyes catch Spencer's for a second when he turns to face the table, presumably looking for a map you remember being on the right side. You point to the right side of the table and Spencer looks nothing but annoyed when he follows your direction and finds what he's looking for. He hates that he functions better as a person when you're around.

"What's the deal with you and Spence?" JJ asks, and there is a lot to unpack with that question.

"Gonna have to be more specific." You say with a shrug, your eyes hesitantly meeting hers.

"How long were you two together?"

"2 years 8 months." You answer without pausing, causing her eyebrows to raise. JJ didn't expect you to remember down to the month, it's been years since you and Spencer were together. That's not a short fling like JJ originally thought, that's a substantial amount of time.

"What's her name?" You ask, desperate to get information on this mystery woman who has stolen Spencer from you.

"Her name was Maeve." Was. You don't miss how she says was instead of is.

"Why do you hate Spencer?" JJ looked like she cared, but you know it's not you she cares about. She's in here to try and protect Spencer in some way, she's acting like you're the villain.

"I don't hate him. He abandoned me. Just packed up and left, no note, no goodbye. Haven't heard from him since." You snap, hating the amount of emotion that was in your voice. JJ's eyebrows furrow, that's just so unlike Spencer. He's not cruel, he's never been cruel but that...is cruel. You see a look flash across her face.

"Sweet boy isn't as sweet as he seems." You say softly, folding your arms over your chest.

"He must have had a good reason." JJ insists, her eyes landing on Spencer's back as he continues to map out the hunting grounds of the killer. You know he's just wasting time to avoid coming back in here. Spencer is a certifiable super genius, he finished mapping it out a while ago. He's just pretending he hasn't finished yet.

"Spence still with her? Maeve." Her name felt like poison on your tongue, and JJ slowly shook her head.

"She died in front of him, really tore him up." Your heart cracks a little bit at her words, you can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. You see JJ open her mouth to ask something else when the door opens, and a man with darker skin pokes his head in.

"JJ? Reid found him, we gotta go." As soon as he arrived, he's gone with JJ hot on his heels. She sends you a smile before she rushes out of the room, and you see Spencer following her path out. They're going to arrest a murderer who has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal.

"Spencer! Y-You can't go, it's not safe!" You blurt from the doorway, and he pauses. His eyes find yours as he holsters his pistol, an unreadable expression on his face.

"It's my job." And that's all he says before he disappears out of the precinct, leaving you once again.

//

You couldn't quell the anxiety turning in your gut, you're not sure how to exist while Spencer is out there hunting a murderer. You wished that you could turn off the part of your brain that's still so damn attached to him, but no matter how hard you try you can't silence your heart as it calls for him. You're not sure you could survive the constant fear of losing him if you ever ended up with him again, this life is too much for you to take. Maybe he knew that all those years ago when he left you the first time, Spencer always could see right through you. Maybe he left because he knew staying would only lead you to live a life of constant fear, maybe he was trying to protect you. Either way the reasons don't matter anymore because he left, and nothing can change how badly that hurt you.

"Does it normally take this long?" You ask a passing officer, who in turn shrugs before continuing on his path. You feel like you're going to explode or vomit, or both. It's been over 2 hours, should it be taking this long? What if he got shot? What if he's dead right now and you're sitting here with your damn thumb up your ass worrying about him like a useless housewife? Feeling useless, that's what you hate the absolute most. Knowing there's nothing you can do to stop a bullet on it's trajectory to his heart.

"Spence, are you sure you're okay?" You hear a flurry of voices and when his name graces JJ's lips you're pushing out of the room. Your eyes find him instantly, and then travel to his palm which is pressed tightly to his neck. His bleeding neck. You feel your heart rate spike, hammering like the hooves of wild horses as you move without thinking about it. Before you even understand that you've moved, you're stood in front of him. Your eyes try to scan his neck for wounds but his palm covers the location the blood is coming from.

"C'mere." You grab his wrist and yank him back towards where you saw a first aid kit earlier. Luckily your 2 and a half years of nursing school taught you how to stitch a wound and perform basic first aid. Spencer offers no resistance as you yank him to a back corner of the precinct, pushing him to sit down. You grab the first aid kit, slowly prying his hand from his neck. Your eyes mist at the wound, it's a bullet wound. Looks old though, there's scarred tissue. This had to have happened a few weeks ago at least. You see the thin line of the scar, the middle section seems to have opened up again.

"You didn't wait long enough for this to heal." You scold gently, not missing how his eyes watch you with an intensity smoldering in them. You miss the way he used to look at you, the way he's looking at you right now. You miss being the center of his whole world, you scoff. Look how easy it was for him to walk away from you. You threat a needle to stitch the center of his wound shut again, and when you look for numbing cream you discover that there isn't any.

"Spence, there isn't any- I can't find the numbing..." Your voice trails off as you begin to yank things out of the first aid kit to search for the numbing cream. Spencer's hand catches your wrist and it's only just now that you realize you're trembling.

"It's okay. I'll be fine." He settles back against the chair he's sitting in, turning his head to reveal his neck to you. You hesitate, the Spencer you remember had a very low pain threshold. All of a sudden he's expecting you to stitch him up with no numbing agent?

"Y/N, I can handle it." Spencer says again, his voice firmer than before. You swallow a lump in your throat before reaching forward to begin stitching. You press the needle against his neck, eyeing him to gauge his reaction as you puncture his skin to make the first thread. To your surprise he hardly flinches, a small quirk in his lip is the only giveaway that he's in pain. Is this the same man that got squirmy getting a shot? That would shy away from the needle? Now he's sitting here letting you stitch him up without moving a muscle, without even flinching? The more time you spend with him the more proof you get that this isn't the same Spencer that left you all those years ago.

"How did it happen?" You ask, wondering how he could have survived a gunshot to the neck. He shifts uncomfortably.

"Got shot, two inches away from hitting my jugular." Spencer says it so casually, but you're so stunned that you halt your movements for a moment.

"How many times have you been shot?" You ask, your voice hoarse. Is him getting shot a common occurrence?

"Twice. Also got shot in the leg." The casual way Spencer talks about it almost convinces you it isn't a big deal. But it is. It's a bullet ripping through his body, and it's happened to him on two separate occasions. You finish stitching and bandaging him up, your hands moving away from him as soon as you can.

"Thank God you went to nursing school or I'd be six feet under." He jokes. You know he's kidding but still, the thought of it makes you feel lightheaded.

"Don't say stuff like that." You snap softly, and you know Spencer can see the fear and vulnerability in your eyes. You hesitantly steal a glance up at him once he's stood up only to find he's already looking at you. You shy away from his intrusive gaze, and you could practically feel him probing at your mind. Reading your thoughts as if they were written down for him. You hate that he can always tell what you're thinking, you hate that it was so easy for him to read you. Like a damn book. You have to fight the urge to reach out and grab his hand, it's what you always did when you felt lost or unsure. Spencer was always there to ground you and bring your mind back out of your thoughts.

"Miss Y/L/N?" You hear JJ's voice gently interrupt you two. You shoot away from Spencer as though you were doing something scandalous. He doesn't move an inch.

"Yes!" You blurt a little too loudly, suddenly flustered being so close to him. Why does your sharp tongue always leave you when you need it?

"You're clear to go home."

"I can take her." Spencer speaks up before JJ has a chance to offer, and she knew he would. You swallow a nervous lump in your throat, your palms shaking.

//

The SUV has dark tint, you weren't expecting that. The second you sat back in the plush leather seat your mind flew to lewd thoughts of you leaning over the center console, Spencer's hand in your hair as he helps you take his cock in your mouth. You steal one glance at Spencer, his right hand holding the steering wheel loosely. Your cheeks heat up as you glance down between his legs, get ahold of yourself.

"The address is-"

"I remember." You knew he would. That damn eidetic memory ensured that he never forgot anything. It broke your heart a little, because some naïve part of you was hoping he remembered because it meant something to him. You hoped he remembered the way to your house because he didn't want to forget, because forgetting it meant forgetting you. But you know the reality, you know that he remembers because he has no choice but to remember. His memory is too good to allow him to forget anything, even if it was something he wanted to forget. You're grasping at straws and you know you are, holding onto that foolish notion that Spencer still held onto the memories. That he still held onto the gifts you gave him, crying softly in the night like you did sometimes.

"JJ told me about Maeve." You say softly into the silence, and you saw Spencer swallow thickly out of the corner of your eye. "I'm so sorry you lost her Spence."

"Thank you." He honestly wasn't expecting you to say that, to acknowledge the pain. Because acknowledging the pain meant that you knew he loved her. He did love her. But it was a different love then the love he feels for you. It was special, but so are you. You're special too.

"Have you...dated anyone else?" Spencer can't help but ask as he subconsciously continues the drive to your house. A drive he's committed to his memory, a drive he never wants to forget. You shift to look at him, there were a few you dated. You know when you tell Spencer about them that it'll drive him crazy.

"Tony Anderson." You say and just like you thought, Spencer groans deeply. Spencer detests Tony, they were practically mortal enemies when he still lived in Las Vegas.

"Tony? Seriously?" His tone is incredulous as his grasp on the steering wheel tightens ever so slightly.

"He was a good fuck at least." You know you shouldn't wind him up, but he hurt you for Christ's sakes. He deserves a little bit of pain too. Spencer flinches, a look of anger and something else simmering in his eyes.

"Please tell me you didn't have sex with Tony."

"Why does it matter?" You shouldn't enjoy upsetting people as much as you do. But there's still a small part of you that's convinced that Spencer deserves this.

"Because I can't live with the fact that somebody else has gotten to feel that perfect cunt of yours, let alone Tony." His crude words take you by surprise, and you can't fight the gasp that escapes your mouth.

"Well before you start digging your grave, relax. I never had sex with Tony." You decide to put him out of his misery, and you see the relief physically flood his body. You lean against the window, the next admission from you will leave the air heavier in it's wake.

"I've never slept with anyone but you Spence." You realize it's been a long time since you've seen Spencer let alone had sex with him but you could never bring yourself to sleep with someone else. It's not as though the opportunity never presented itself, you had plenty of chances to have sex with someone else. But you couldn't because there's still a stubborn part of you that doesn't want to betray Spencer.

"Really? Why?" Apparently this revelation surprised him.

"Because no matter where you go I will always belong to you." You snap without thinking, blinking tears from your eyes as you avoid his gaze. Spencer fell silent then, and you know he feels guilty. Probably because he's slept with someone else in the time since he's been with you.

"I know you have and it's fine I'm not trying to-"

"I haven't." Spencer corrects instantly, his eyes meeting yours through the darkness of the SUV. If he could see you he would see the look of utter surprise on your face. It's not as though Spencer was an overly sexually ambitious person when you dated, but you figured he probably slept with at least one person. "I haven't slept with anybody else either."

"I know someone that wants to though." You grumble without thinking, your mind drifting to JJ and the obvious crush she thinks isn't obvious. Spencer tilts his head in a way that resembles a confused puppy, you resist the urge to ruffle his hair.

"Who?"

"Agent Jareau." As soon as the name slips past the threshold of your lips, Spencer's jerks the wheel in surprise. You see a dark blush color his cheeks as his other hand reaches up to steady the wheel.

"J-Jennifer? No way! She's my best friend." You nearly laugh at his flustered state, and normally you would push it a little further but you decide to let it go. You don't want to completely destroy the way he sees her, you know you already destroyed the way she sees him.

"You have no idea what a catch you are Spencer." You tell him as you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting ready to exit the SUV. Spencer reaches over and places a warm hand on your wrist to stop you from leaving, his eyes searching yours for an answer he isn't sure you have.

"Come in?" You ask hopefully, you're not ready for him to leave again. Damnit why did he have to turn up again after so long? You were just starting to think that maybe you could move on and find someone new. You were finally starting to feel okay, and then Spencer reappears and turns your entire world upsidown all over again. Deep down you know that nobody will ever compare to Spencer Reid, and you don't want them to. You don't want anyone to be like Spencer, you want him to be his entirely own person. It's what you love the most about him, is his ability to be himself no matter where he is or who he's with. All of his little quirks, the things about himself that he doesn't notice but you do.

"Yeah." His answer comes across as an exhalation of breath, and you try to hide how excited you are. You want to hold on to any moment you can, stolen moments that you take as you please with no regret whatsoever.

"Nothing has changed." Spencer muses once you unlock the front door and push inside the darkened living room. You blush, admittedly nothing about your small townhouse has changed. It's all basically the exact same as when Spencer saw it last. You rub a hand down your arm as Spencer's eyes go wandering. Trailing over the curtains he remembers hastily pulling closed to protect your decency on more than a few occasions. His gaze then travels to the couch, all those movie nights you two spent curled up together. Or when he got you into Star Trek and you couldn't stop watching it. Pain stabs his chest for a moment, it's hard to remember everything he had to let go of to get the job he has now.

"I miss you too, you know." Spencer says off-handedly. It takes you by surprise, the sureness in his tone is jarring. He sounds so comfortable admitting when he's vulnerable, it's never been easy for you to be vulnerable with him. Maybe that's part of the reason he left, maybe you drove him away by shutting him out. His eyes meet yours, a look so soft in his eyes it feels as though his gaze is caressing your skin. You bite your bottom lip to keep the emotions at bay, what is it about this man that makes you so emotional?

"I never said I missed you." You try to snap, to add an edge to your tone. But instead it came out watery and broken, and in turn Spencer reached up to swipe away a falling tear.

"But you do." You can't even deny it, it's obvious.

"Damn you Spencer Reid, I was finally starting to feel okay again." You cry softly, curling your arms towards your chest in an attempt to shrink away from him. He cups your cheeks in his palms, turning your face up towards him.

"I wasn't." He admits before his lips are on yours, and it's not frenzied and desperate like you've been picturing all these years. It's slow and calculated, soft and passionate. Firm but with a tenderness that makes your knees buckle from the gravity of it. Spencer's fingers card into your hair, pulling your head closer to his. He nips at your lower lip, his arms crushing you against his chest. You throw yourself into him, your arms holding him as tightly as you possibly can. Afraid that if your vise grip loosens, even for a second, that he'll slip through your fingers like trying to hold onto water. You almost don't want to let your eyes close, you don't want him to disappear again.

"I missed you, I miss you-" You gasp against his lips, grabbing fistfuls of his dress shirt. Spencer continues to move his lips languidly against yours, backing you against the wall. His hand ghosts down your side to the hem of your shirt, his fingers toying with it.

"O-Off." You beg, and in an instant Spencer is pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes land on your bare chest, shocked that he almost forgot that you never really wear a bra. His hands curl around your back, drawing your chest up into his awaiting lips. His mouth curls around your hardened nipple, your hand flying into his hair from the contact.

"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here Spencer." You beg, almost becoming lost in the emotions again. His eyes flutter up to meet yours, his mouth reluctantly leaving your nipple. He brushes his lips over yours, his hand trailing down your stomach towards the waistband of your leggings.

"This is real, I'm here baby. I'm home." Hearing those words was too much, and you launch yourself into his chest as the first tear trickles down your cheek. Your lips press sloppily to his, the kiss messy and wet as his hand slides into your leggings. His fingers find your wet slit in an instant, desperately parting your lips to slide a lithe finger into you. Your body reacts to him instantly, in a way that surprises you. Almost as though it too was crying out for him, keening into him and begging for his touch as much as your mind is. Spencer hauls one of your thighs up to hook around his waist as he presses another finger into you. You cry out softly into the quiet air, accompanied only by the labored breathing fanning across your face.

"I need to feel you, I- I need-" You can barely get the words out as he steadily pumps his fingers into you. His mouth on yours silences your desperate pleading, his chest firmly pressing your back into the wall. You missed being able to feel him and you hate that you forgot what it feels like to have his body on yours. It's been so long you forgot what the sting of his cock feels like. What it feels like when you stretch wide open around him, to feel like you're being ripped in two. Spencer continues his pace, his thumb rolling your clit to provide the extra stimulation you're missing. It's not enough to satisfy you, but its enough for you two cum. Which you do. You gush around his fingers as you gently come undone, your back arching into him.

"Please," You beg wantonly, curling your other leg around his waist as his hands hook underneath your thighs. Spencer's lips press against yours, moving slowly against your own. You know now that you will never stop loving Spencer, and that he's completely ruined you for life. You'll never be able to love anybody else without your heart wandering back to him. But then again, you don't really mind because you don't want to be with anybody else. You don't want to love anybody else. You just want him, only him. He pushes into your room, walking the entirety of the way with his eyes closed and his mouth pressed against yours. He has the layout of your house mapped out in his head? He never even bumped into anything until he was dropping you unceremoniously on the bed.

"Tell me what you need, I'll give you whatever you want." Spencer husks against you, hovering above you. Your fingers are already unbuttoning his shirt before you even have the chance to respond to him. You know instantly what you want, what you need from him.

"I want all of you, give me everything." You plead, your lips practically chasing his as he kneels up over you. He's being soft tonight, and that's something you appreciate greatly. You need to feel his love, you need to feel everything you know he can't quite put into words. His hands are shaking as he undoes the button and zipper of his dress slacks before kicking them off the edge of the bed. You stare up at his naked body, looking as though it's been sculpted by the Gods specifically for you. Spencer smiles softly at you as he pulls your leggings down your legs, leaving little nips and kisses on your inner thighs as he goes.

"Hurry." You groan, nearly clawing at his bare shoulders to pull him back up to you. Spencer chuckles at how eager you are, watching with interested eyes as the head of his cock breaches your folds. You reluctantly stretch open as he continues his intrusion, his fists curling tightly around the sheets. Christ you weren't lying about not sleeping with anyone else, you're so tight it's making him feel a little lightheaded. Inch by inch Spencer presses into you, his forehead resting against yours once his pelvis is sitting flush against yours. Sure, you've had sex with hi before but never have you felt this connected to him. Spencer sits like a gentleman and lets you adjust to his size, trying to take a few deep breaths himself. It's hard to breathe with your heat sucking him in with a vice grip.

"Can I move?" You're surprised by how collected his voice is, but the furrow of his brow is a giveaway that he's losing the battle to stay stock still inside you.

"Yes, please." You moan, unashamed. Spencer gently draws his hips back, pulling himself nearly all the way out before swiftly sliding back into your inviting cunt. He sets the pace slow and deep, his hands reaching up to lace through yours. Every time the head of his cock nudges that spot deep inside you, you can feel your toes curl. Your head slams back against the pillows, unable to keep your gaze on him any longer. You feel yourself becoming one with him, and you wish you could capture this moment somewhere other then just in your minds eye. Your memory is nowhere near as good as Spencer's, he'll be able to recall every detail of this moment up until the day he dies. But over time, this memory will fade for you. It'll wear out, all the details becoming fuzzy and blurred. If he's not here in front of you, you'll forget and you don't want to forget.

When the night draws to a close, and the moon has reached its peak, Spencer slips carefully out of bed. It chisels away pieces of his heart as he carefully gets dressed, reaching for his go bag which he'd brought inside upon realizing that he'd be staying a while. He pulls out a t-shirt he'd worn recently and leaves it folded neatly at the end of your bed, something for you to hold onto when he's gone. Spencer's cheeks are wet with tears as he leans over and presses a kiss to your head.

"I love you." Is the last thing he whispers in the space between you two before he's gone again.

//

On the jet, Derek can't keep his eyes off Spencer and that helplessly broken look on his face. A book is laid nestled in Spencer's lap, but Derek can tell he isn't really reading it. Trying to bother Spencer into opening up probably won't work, but it's worth a try. Derek has to do something and this is all he can think of.

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah fine, why?" Spencer draws his eyes up from the book, his gaze meeting Derek's from across the table. While Spencer might be a talented actor, he can't lie to Derek.

"Look I know how hard it must have been leaving her again-"

"Did you know that on average the FDA allows a minimum of 1 rodent hair per 100 grams of peanut butter? They have to allow themselves room for error just in case of-"

"Alright you win, forget it." Derek sighs, turning his gaze out the window. In an instant Spencer drops his peanut butter spiel, turning back to his book. A guaranteed way to get people off his back is to start rambling about something boring or gross, they usually leave him alone pretty quickly. It's not that Spencer doesn't appreciate Derek's concern, he just doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it, because every time he imagines how you're going to feel when you wake up, tears come to the surface of his eyes. He hates this case more than all the rest even though they saved the victim. Spencer hates this case for ripping open an old wound, one he thought healed.

He was wrong.

//

When you wake the next morning you knew he'd be gone. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you reached over and felt cold sheets. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you cried how much you loved him over and over again even though he couldn't hear you. It doesn't change how badly this hurts, how much worse it feels compared to the first time he left. Your eyes catch the shirt folded at the end of the bed and you grab it instantly. You pull it over your body and you lay down in your bed, inhaling his cologne that you know will fade over time. Eventually his scent will disappear, removing all traces that this fabric belonged to him at all. Every trace of him will disappear over time, every mark from your body will slowly vanish. When it's all gone, you'll be left with nothing more than a t-shirt that's too big for you, and a cold reminder that the man you love will never truly be yours. A reminder that every time he comes home, he leaves again.

A cold reminder that this world is cruel for bringing you Spencer Reid, only to rip him from you again and again.

[plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms]

Nemesis: Retribution (4)

Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.

Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil

Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)

Warnings: EXPLICIT SMUT. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR (18+ ONLY. I WILL BLOCK YOU), voyeurism, exhibitionism, authority kink, praise kink, spanking, slight dom themes, polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, angst, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, strong language, mentions of trauma, mentions of character death, fluff if you squint, 

A/N: Slowing it down just a bit to move plot along. Freaking out on the reblogs and comments are encouraged and will be rewarded with cookies. Seriously though, I love hearing what you guys think and use some of it to make the next chapters better. I adore you all! Have at it!

No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

1:4 Apple Crumble

Steve Rogers had kindly offered for you and your team to stay at the Compound. For however long this mission would take, you were all going to start running straight at it early tomorrow. In terms of the mission, he was relieved to have your help. The sooner the serum was out of circulation the better and they truthfully did need your help. This underground world was more your scene now and you could better navigate it.

On a personal level, he was glad that you were sticking around even if it was on a contract. He would take whatever opportunity he can and make the best of it. That's how he's always been and he wasn't going to change that now.

He told himself that it was because he was the Captain that he was at your door this late after you all had agreed to part for the night. It was out of consideration that he carried with him some of his own clothes to offer you in case you needed something to change into. It was out of a need to clear the tension with you now that you were going to work as a team again that he was knocking on your door.

That was all.

You opened the door a moment later wrapped only in a short towel and with your hair still dripping wet from the shower. The smile that rose on your face was sly as you leaned on the doorframe with your arms crossed and your hip cocked to one side. He swallowed.

Maybe that wasn't all.

"What can I do for you, Cap?"

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was far too distracted by the little droplet that rolled down from your temple to the valley of your breasts. He shook his head and cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus only on your eyes and not the inappropriate answers that sprung to mind at your question.

"I brought you a change of clothes in case you need it," he managed to say. "And I wanted to talk to you if you're not too tired."

You opened the door wider and took the clothes from him without a word, turning into the room toward the bathroom. You casually dropped your towel to the floor and Steve choked at the sight of your bare back, a small set of black panties the only stitch you wore. The breath in his chest released only when you disappeared into the bathroom, the door cracked open offering him enticing glimpses as you moved around.

Steve hurriedly closed the door behind him and as he made his way further in, he caught sight of an open go bag beside your bed with clothes clearly visible. There was also a shirt and sweats beside it, the design he knew belonged to Pietro. He felt a little embarrassed. Of course Pietro would have already beaten him to it and that your team always came prepared. Still there was a satisfaction that bloomed in him when you stepped out clad in his shirt, the hem barely reaching mid thigh and bare feet soundlessly crossing the carpeted floor until you came to sit with him on the sofa. You tucked your legs under you and rested your head on your hand over the back of the seat.

"Gotta say I like this look, Steve," you grinned at him.

He chuckled, self-consciously rubbing at his beard and pulling at the hair at the back of his collar. The light dusting of red on his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by you.

"What? You don't like the all American apple pie look?"

You hummed and took a leisurely look at him from head to toe. Rugged and imposing as he appeared, the heat on his face intensified at your obvious appreciation and the way you swiped your tongue along your bottom lip. You were biting your lip when your eyes met his again, trying to stop yourself from laughing at how flustered he was getting and how much you were enjoying it. You've always found Steve handsome and he made apple pie look damn good, but this look on him was just so dangerously delicious.

You had a type.

"I'm more of an apple crumble kind of girl. I like the texture better," you winked. "And I don't mind a little beard burn."

"Will your team mind that I'm talking to you without one of them here?"

You raised an eyebrow and held his unsteady gaze, clearly understanding he meant more than just your professional relationship with the three men.

"You're curious."

"It's none of my business. That's not what I came to talk to you about," he stammered, unaccustomed to how forward you were.

"What did you want to talk about then?"

"I wanted to apologize properly and thank you for agreeing to help."

You groaned and threw your whole body back on the seat, causing Steve's shirt to ride up just shy of completely flashing him. You sat back up and pinched the bridge of your nose, letting out a long breath. It was only the fact that it was Steve that you were even entertaining this conversation.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Steve," you firmly dismissed.

"I do, Nem. We all do."

"Fine. List down what you're sorry about. Let's go through it one by one or we can draw lots to make it interesting."

"Nem," he said, low and clear with warning yet imploring you to listen. "Can you take this seriously for one second?"

The ever present smirk on your face dropped as you sighed heavily and ran a hand through your hair. For the first time since he's seen you, your expression softened a fraction and a shadow of the person he used to know passed across your features.

"Listen to me, Steve. I don't blame any of you. I'm not angry at any of you. I honestly have no room for more anger even if I wanted to be."

In the beginning you were. There were days while you were getting tortured that you hated them while you pleaded to the heavens for them to rescue you. It had taken a decade and three incredible men for that inferno of fury to turn into a manageable bitterness.

"Do you know how tiring it is to be so fucking angry all the time?" you chuckled darkly. "It took a while, but I learned to prioritize what I choose to be angry about."

"Salvacion," he muttered and you nodded, your eyes staring blankly forward.

"I've carried that name for a decade, Steve. That asshole has to die by my hands."

Steve saw now how selfish he was for forcing the conversation with the purpose of earning your forgiveness. It was for easing his own guilt that he was doing it when instead he should have just been thanking you for what you did and had to endure.

"Why didn't you ever come back?"

"I tried, Steve. When I was recovered enough I tried to go back. Did you know my sister had a girlfriend?"

He shook his head, throat suddenly closing at the sight of absolute misery in your eyes. He regretted starting this conversation even more.

"Jill. She was amazing to Lily and she was like a sister to me too," you smiled a little, not in your usual sarcastic way but with a hint of gentle fondness before your expression hardened once more.

"I saw her and I just couldn't bring myself to face her. I'm the reason the love of her life is dead. I couldn't, Steve"

It started off with the fear that they might have killed Jill too. You told yourself you had to know, but truthfully you were trying desperately to find a connection to Lily. You found her visiting the graveyard, laying flowers on two stones and spending the afternoon sitting on the ground tearfully talking to the dead. The shame burned through you and from then on you made it your sole purpose to destroy the man who took Lily from you both. Until then you had no right to face her. You had no right to return to the life you once knew.

Steve noticed that you weren't crying although the look in your eyes was swimming with grief. He expected you to cry, but somehow seeing you with dry eyes only made you look more in pain. You only clenched your fists, your shoulders tense and your jaw stiff. Steve decided he would tell the others instead of having you go through this conversation again.

He would do that for you.

You woke up surprisingly refreshed the following morning, strangely lighter than you have felt in the past decade. You didn't expect for that talk with Steve to have such an impact on you. You smiled ruefully, remembering your many counseling sessions with Curtis before and that maybe you were finally seeing his point.

FRIDAY had directed you to the larger conference room for today's briefing session with the rest of the team. You were wearing another one of Steve's shirts paired with your usual cargo pants, a fact that didn't go unnoticed judging by the raised eyebrows and teasing smiles. Billy in particular was leaning in to whisper to Matt what was going on.

"You don't have to tell me. I can smell it," Matt chuckles, crinkles visible at the edges of his dark sunglasses. "His cologne is quite distinct."

You smacked Billy on the arm, but laughed with them as well before throwing a wink at Steve who proceeded to blush a deep red. As you took your seat, a cup of coffee suddenly materialized in front of you accompanied by Pietro's ever bright smile. You smiled gratefully and took a sip, eyes slightly rounding in surprise at the taste.

"You remembered how I took my coffee."

"I've forgotten nothing about you, little star."

You haven't taken your coffee that way in so long. It's been just strong plain black coffee lately, the lack of sugar and cream where you lived with the boys being a factor. It had seemed pointless to eat something sweet when there was a permanent sour taste in your mouth from life. Now though you couldn't seem to help taking one sip after another, licking your lips before going in for more.

Right now this tasted right.

You didn't notice that Billy was smiling adoringly at you and sharing a look of approval with Frank as the briefing began, happy that someone aside from him was spoiling you. You certainly didn't know that Matt was smirking because he heard your heart literally skip a beat at the sweet gesture.

It took hours for the meeting to wrap up, but there was still more to do before you could actually take action. A number of the Avengers were sent out to gather more intel while the rest would stay to make further preparations.

"I only really need to talk to Frank a bit more," Steve said as he approached your group. "Why don't we have Pietro show you guys around the Compound? There are some improvements I think you'll find interesting."

Your tour guide for the afternoon appeared beside you, taking your hand in his and bouncing on the balls of his feet in his excitement. He was just too cute that you couldn't help but let out a small smile. The effect he had on you remained it seems.

"A tour would be really helpful for me," Matt easily agreed.

"And I go wherever the pretty girl goes," Billy added, slinging his arm over your shoulders.

"Great. Surrender your weapons and you should be good to go," Steve asked with a pointed look at both you and Billy who groaned in answer.

Billy was ready with a string of complaints and counter arguments when the clang of metal on the glass conference table stunned him into silence. He watched in complete disbelief as you removed every gun and blade attached to your body, efficiently dismantling them and lining them up on the table.

"Is she?" Matt murmured, leaning closer to Billy.

"Yeah."

"All of them?"

"Yeah."

By the time you stepped back, there was practically a decent sized armory on the table. How and where you managed to fit all of it on your person was a mystery to them.

"You missed one," Billy said, snapping out of his daze.

He stepped in front of you and casually slipped his arm up the front of your shirt and under your sports bra. His fingers grazed unnecessarily close to your now hardened nipples and he simply winked when you raised an eyebrow at him. Billy pulled out two small throwing daggers soon after and placed them alongside your other weapons.

"Oh yeah. I keep forgetting about those," you chuckled.

"Do you always come armed to the teeth?" Bucky snapped, clearly bothered by the display.

"She doesn't want her team to carry extra ammo for her, Sergeant," Billy scowled at him, the obvious animosity surprising Bucky. When he turned back to Pietro, his expression was back to his usual playful one. "So how about that tour?"

Frank turned to Steve when you had exited the room. "You gotta teach me that trick, Cap."

"What trick?"

"First time in 10 years I've seen her take any kind of order without a knife fight first," he said, cracking a smile and shaking his head.

It turns out that coming back was doing some good for you and this made him more comfortable around the Avengers. He wasn't about to braid them friendship bracelets but he was less inclined to pop a cap in their ass. At least for the time being.

Walking around the Compound brought back some of that wonder you felt when you first stepped in, but it recalled everything you had lost. Sensing the sudden tension in you, Billy gripped you by the waist and pulled you into his side. He kissed your temple, a silent reminder of what you had gained.

Pietro had been an absolute sweetheart, specifically describing what was in the area for Matt's benefit and pointing out the changes to you. The training area was your last stop, the place you had spent the most time in during your short stint here. There were loud sounds coming from the area and walking in you saw fresh-faced recruits in paired off sparring sessions.

Your full attention was on Pietro as he happily listed off the new features and answered questions from Matt and Billy, the latter now in businessman mode as he thought of what he could implement for Anvil. You were having an unusually pleasant time until a familiar shrill voice demanded your attention.

"Well look what the street cat dragged in. Y/N?"

You knew that voice. A decade with torture and trauma included apparently couldn't change how much her voice grated at you. The cold smirk made a reappearance on your face as you slowly turned to face her, the three men with you were instantly alarmed at the change in your demeanor.

"Kim," you nodded.

"Thought you were dead."

"Thanks. Can't say I thought about you at all though."

"I see you're still pathetically clinging to Pietro."

"What can I say? He's really cute," you said with a wink at Pietro who seemed to enjoy the compliment.

She sneered at you, her irritation rising when you weren't backing down like you used to do. She couldn't quite put her finger on what had changed about you, but you seemed rougher around the edges and far too cocky for her liking. Luckily, she still remembered a sure-fire way to take you down a few pegs.

"I'm teaching a class on hand to hand combat. How about we show them a demonstration on what a real fight looks like?"

You giggled as your smile grew, a disturbing sight that made even Kim doubt herself for a moment. You nodded your head in easy acceptance and she looked like she was pleased at herself for getting this opportunity. Before you could step forward though, you found Matt's walking stick blocking your path.

"What? It's not assault if it's provoked," you grinned at the frown on his face.

He hated it when you found loopholes, but he relented with a heavy sigh. He was too used to this. He leaned toward Pietro and told him that he should inform the Captain.

"Get some snacks too, roadrunner," Billy chuckled, delightedly watching you strip off your shirt and walking confidently towards Kim on the sparring mats.

Pietro had returned a moment later after completing his task, actually handing Billy a bag of fresh popcorn. The smile on his face froze when he caught sight of your bare skin. So far all he had seen as evidence of your torture was what was visible on your neck and face. He had stupidly brushed that fact aside, too excited to have found you again. Now the vicious marring on your beautiful skin was a cruel reminder of their failure as your team. They had failed you.

He had failed you.

Back in the conference room, the same feelings were shared by two super soldiers. They had pulled up surveillance on the training area after Pietro's message, just in time to see you take off that shirt.

Bucky felt the air leave his lungs at the horrific sight. He was alive and you had paid a heavy price for saving him. He could barely keep his eyes on you, the shame burning through him. He didn't want to imagine the amount of pain you had to endure to sustain those injuries.

"Don't you people dare look at her with pity," Frank warned. "Those scars are a testament to her strength. She's damn beautiful."

Steve agreed. He'd caught a glimpse of your scars last night and jarring as they were, your complete lack of self consciousness to them just made you more alluring. Looking back at the screen though he was concerned that you could hurt yourself. Kim was a top agent now, high enough in the ranks to be training recruits and leading missions. She had proven herself deadly in combat, but the way you were grinning was chilling in itself.

"One question before we start," you said.

"What?" Kim scoffed, flipping her braided hair over her shoulder.

"When's your next mission?"

"2 weeks. Why?" she answered, perfect brow raised in confusion.

"Just calculating your recovery time," you shrugged. "I'm nice that way."

Kim predictably charged at you then, growling and cursing at you under her breath. You smirked, standard SHIELD movements were easy to read for you. You stayed completely still and relaxed in your stance as she lunged at you with her fist. You timed your movement precisely, sidestepping at the absolute last moment. One hand grabbed at the back of her head, forcing it down to ram against your oncoming fist with a sickening crack.

Broken nose.

Kim shrieked in pain as the blood gushed from her nose and she tried to pull away from you. You didn't let her. You pulled her down by the shoulder to bend her over before driving your knee up her midsection. She wheezed at the impact, the mat below her smattered with her blood.

Bruised ribs. Maybe slightly broken.

You unceremoniously threw her aside, letting her fall groaning on her side. You clicked your tongue, watching her struggle and turning to the class she was supposed to be teaching.

"Lesson 1, kids," you waved your hands in Kim's general direction. "Don't end up like that."

Broken ego.

You turned to go back to your boys when the glint of metal caught your eye. You tilted your head just in time for the dagger to zip past your eye line, only thinly scratching at your cheek. Your hands reacted on instinct, reaching for the small hidden pocket along the waistband of you pants. You flicked the thin blade with deft fingers, embedding on the mat and landing it purposely close to Kim's eyes that it cut through her fake lashes.

"Nem!" Steve's unmistakable voice boomed through the speakers. You had forgotten that they had FRIDAY everywhere. "We said no weapons."

You rolled your eyes and smiled cheekily at the cameras. "It's just a nail file. I don't like keeping blood under my nails."

"You call that training?" Steve groaned rubbing his eyes and turning to Frank.

"I call that anger management," Frank said, amused at how unpredictable to handle they already found you when they've barely scratched the surface. He noticed how Bucky looked furious, his metal hand clutching a little too hard onto the table. "Don't like what you see, Sarge?"

Bucky didn't answer. He didn't tell them that he didn't like what he saw because he knew he was a major contributor in what caused it. If only he had been kinder, gentler, more honest. Maybe things would have turned out differently.

He walked down the hallways much later gripping a first aid kit in his metal hand and nervously running the other through his cropped hair. The cut on your face was barely anything, but he needed an excuse to talk to you. He was afraid you would turn him away, but he was terrified that you wouldn't. He didn't know what to say to you. He didn't know how to begin to apologize for everything he's done. His palm grew sweaty and beads were beginning to form on his brow.

He was only a few steps away from your bedroom door and he was sorely tempted to turn back around when he noticed that it was cracked open and he could hear voices from inside. He should have followed his instinct to keep his distance but a high whine that definitely came from you pushed him to peak through the small opening.

What he saw made his already thumping heartbeat grow quicker. His eyes grew wide and his throat went dry. Whatever he was expecting, it definitely wasn't this.

You. Stark naked. Grinding your mound on someone's face.

You looked absolutely glorious as you wound your hips in your chase for release; head thrown, back arched, and lips in a dreamy smile. The view he had of you, facing him and deep into your pleasure, was enough to cause his pants to tighten. He couldn't see which one of your teammates was beneath you, the bedframe blocking his view. Whoever they were, Bucky was jealous. He wanted to taste you too.

He felt that stirring of longing again now as he watched you in the throes of passion with another man. He felt it the moment you stepped back into their lives. He felt it during the 10 years they thought you were dead. And he felt it when you were still in training as a recruit every time you smiled at Pietro and Steve.

You picked up your pace and he could see muscular arms reach up to grip your waist and pull you down harder. You were panting curses, your breathing turning erratic and Bucky could see your thighs begin to shake. The sight of you coming undone has to be the most entrancing thing he's ever seen.

Movement from you and your partner pulled him from the hypnosis caused by your erotic display. His face heated up, deeply embarrassed at having watched you for so long and finding enjoyment in basically violating your privacy. He was about to leave when the man whose face you had been riding, came up to kneel behind you.

He pulled your hips back against his own, sliding his hard length easily into your dripping cunt causing you to moan so deliciously that Bucky felt a shiver run down his spine. You reached your hand up to grip the back of his head, letting him bury his own in your neck as he set a languid pace with his thrusts.

Your head rolled to the side and your eyes opened, locking directly with Bucky's. You smirked and reached down to circle your swollen bud, pressing your back further against the hard body rutting behind you and purposely putting on a show. You winked at him.

He bolted out of there.

"That wasn't very nice, honey," the low voice was thick with lust in your ear. His breathing was growing labored too, finding your heat wrapping around him overwhelming.

"I don't see you stopping, Captain."

"How can I when you're gripping me so tight?" He snapped his hips earning a sharp moan from you. "Did you like that? Torturing my best pal with me balls deep inside you?"

You sighed and closed your eyes. Apple pie Steve wouldn't have whispered such sinful things to you, but this Steve could make you cum with just filthy words alone.

"Yeah, you did. Look at you clenching and soaking my cock from having Bucky watch you. You like being bad to him, honey?"

A sudden smack to your ass had you snapping your eyes open. He chuckled into your neck, biting down hard on the juncture as he felt you gripping him even tighter.

"Answer," he growled, landing a harsher smack to your bottom.

"Yes! Yes, Captain, I did."

"Good. Will you be good for me now, honey? You caused a bit of trouble today." His thrusting was still slow, making sure you felt every ridge and vein with each stroke as he drove you into a stupor. "Will you be a good girl for your Captain now?"

"Yes, Captain."

He smirked against your skin, pleased at your compliance. He was reveling in the power he had over you. Frank had said that you never took orders without a fight, but here you were being so good for him. Pliable. Yielding. He was enjoying it.

He gathered your hair in one hand and pulled, your back arching beautifully and emphasizing where his cock was buried deep inside you. With each thrust his cock came out glistening with your slick. The image made him lose control, abruptly escalating his pace to rail feverishly into you.

He had you gasping and clutching at the sheets instantly, begging for him to go harder and push you over the edge. He bent over you and reached around to rub furiously at your throbbing clit.

"Cum like a good girl, honey. Cum around my cock," he commanded. "I wanna feel you fucking drown me."

You came, lights dancing in your eyes and your head empty of all thoughts aside from the pleasure that racked your body. He followed soon after with a loud grunt, the sensation of you fluttering around him too much to resist.

He fell on top of you, spent and satisfied. Your sweat and heavy breaths mingling together as you both tried to return back to the world. You liked the heavy feel of him on top of you, strangely finding comfort in the weight.

He dragged you with him when he rolled off you, spooning you and planting kisses on the back of your shoulders that had your skin tingling from his beard.

"When are you going to put him out of his misery?"

"When it stops being fun?" you chuckled.

Steve wasn't going to push the issue. He knew that it was up to you whether you forgave Bucky or not and when that would be. It would be on your own terms how things moved. Just like what happened between you two. He wasn't expecting it, but the heated argument about the injuries you inflicted on one of his best agents had somehow escalated into him spanking you and you growing wet from it.

Not that either of you were complaining.

You turned around in his arms to face him, looking up at him with a taunting smirk. "You sure your old heart can take being in a polyamorous relationship?"

He chuckled and pecked your lips before going back in for a much deeper kiss that had you swooning. When he pulled back, he was looking at you lovingly.

"I'm known for waiting too long about things like this. I lost my shot at you 10 years ago. I'm not missing out on you again."

His words were firm and genuine. He honestly thought that he would mind having to share you with several other men. He thought that he would feel jealous and possessive. Instead, he felt reassured. He knew that wherever and whenever he lacked, someone else would pick it up and he would be the same. There was a sense of relief knowing that you would always be taken cared of by people who felt the same for you as he did.

"Well then you have some making up to do for waiting so long," you said nibbling at his lower lip.

He groaned and grabbed your thigh, hitching your leg up on his hip. Your thighs and core were still sticky and slippery from both your releases. His tongue dove into your mouth and he could feel you moan against his lips as he ran the tip of his cock against your still sensitive core. Your nails dug into his back as he sunk in, fitting perfectly inside you.

"You're running with a super soldier now, honey," he said, eyes burning with want. "I can do this all day."

------------------------------------------------

A/N: Some asked about Jill and Kim so here you go, lovelies. Come freak out with me in the comments and reblogs. Thank you all for the support! More coming soon. 

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[mostlycompetentwriter]

Hi hello! So pleased to hear your requests are open! Can I please request for a marriage au mafia style where the reader gets hurt or assaulted by the rival gang in front of him and due to being restraint he can't get to her and he cries and begs for her stop. Then thankfully Chan and the others come to the rescue and you want nothing more than to be in chnagbins arms. Maybe a lot of angst and fluff afterwards too. Can't wait to see what you come up with 💕

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Changbin

Warnings: Mention of violence and blood; cursing and language; lots of angst and some fluff at the end; mature content

Genre: Mafia AU; Established Relationship

Where are you?

It feels like a dream. The very strange sensation of that in-between state because you were incapable of distinguishing consciousness from something less than. 

Am I alive?

You must be, aware of the sensation of cold, shivers running down your spine, raising little bumps across your arms...

“Princess!”

What? Did you hear that?

“Y/N!” the voice came again. More urgently this time.

You realized then, with the grounding agency of that sound, that your eyes were closed, but it was a struggle to open them, slowly coming back from whatever had sucked you down, wincing at the dull pain in your head.

“Y/N,” the voice sighed this time. Like it was relieved to see you cognizant. “Tell me you’re okay, love.”

Love?

It hit you at that moment, the sound of the voice. One you could recognize no matter the degree of darkness holding you under, and you managed to open your eyes enough to meet Changbin’s gaze from across the room. 

“Changbin?” you questioned. Or, at least, you thought you said his name. You couldn’t be sure since the sounds around you made it seem like your head was underneath water, distorting everything, and the roof of your mouth was dry and tasteless.

“That’s right, love,” Changbin said, and you struggled to keep him in your line of vision, watching his form swim and dance in strange directions.

“I don’t feel good,” you admitted, hearing what might’ve been a sharp intake of breath.

“Where does it hurt?” Changbin asked, and you frowned at how difficult the question was since you weren’t sure how to answer it.

There was too much numbness, and you were far more concerned with restoring your senses, slowly feeling your ears open back up and the things surrounding you come into focus.

Meanwhile, Changbin was still talking. “I’ll kill them all,” he growled. “This was never supposed to happen.”

Them? you thought to yourself vacantly, gingerly turning around as much as your bindings would allow, realizing only after a brief relapse of confusion that your hands and legs were tied to the metal chair you sat on. 

“Where are we?” you asked, finding your voice amidst everything else.

“I’m not sure,” Changbin whispered, and he suddenly sat upright in his chair, eyes narrowing and features taking on that practiced hardening that you associated with your husband at his most dangerous.

But a Changbin bound and tied by seemingly impossible to escape restraints didn’t exactly scream power to you. In fact, it seemed more like a power imbalance, and you were left reeling for answers when the sound of a distant door opening and then closing filled the space between you both.

“I see you’re awake now,” an unfamiliar figure announced, voice slightly accented. He walked with an arrogant swagger, matching the exaggerated steps he took and the smirk he wore on his grizzled features. “We’ve been waiting.”

“Don’t touch her!” Changbin snapped, jerking against his restraints as the veins in his neck visibly popped in response to his obvious anger and frustration. 

“Who? The girl?” the man asked with a lazy gesturing towards you. “Then you’ll give us answers, no?”

“What do you want?” Changbin asked, and you noted how his fingers were clenched tightly against the arm rests attached to his chair.

“The new shipment of weapons,” the man said. “Your men took them from us the other night. Came in and shot my best sniper.”

Changbin sighed, clearly frustrated. “They were originally assigned to us.”

“But then we made a better deal!” the man growled. “It was my name on that contract, and you had no right to interfere.”

“Says who?” Changbin asked, fishing for more information.

“I can’t tell you that,” the man replied. “I’m only the messenger.”

“You act like it’s more than that.”

“Oh?” the man smirked. “Well, I am a big deal.”

Changbin glowered at the arrogance. “I don’t lead the organization.”

“I know, but you’re an important player,” the man continued. “And your name was everywhere when I started investigating.”

“The weapons were a necessary exchange,” Changbin argued.

“But they were ours!” the man declared passionately, and Changbin knew better than to try to argue with someone so overzealous.

“Fine,” Changbin huffed. “I’ll have my men restore the weapons.”

“Wonderful,” the man sighed, tucking his hands into his pocket. “There is one more thing, though.”

“One more?” Changbin snorted.

“I know of your importance, Mr. Seo,” the man said. “I assume that you’re someone in possession of good information.”

“Like what?”

“Like that little bar you opened downtown,” the man continued, taking another step closer. 

You froze when he pulled a knife from his pocket, studying the way the light reflected off the harsh metal. “What about it?” Changbin grumbled, eyes focused on the obvious danger in the room.

“I’m curious about its sudden success,” he said, and you shivered when he started circling your chair. “Seems like something is missing.”

“Just good business,” Changbin said, but you could tell he was trying to get one step ahead of the guy - discerning the meaning of this unexpected conversation.

“Or, you figured out how to delegitimize the competition,” the man harshly exhaled, and you whimpered when you felt the cold blade of the knife tease the sensitive skin of your neck. 

Changbin sat up just a little higher, biceps flexing against his restraints. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Obviously,” the man hissed, digging the blade just enough to draw a tiny pinprick of blood. “You’ve sent your men undercover to spy on my business! To spread rumors and lies and turn my clientele away!”

Changbin chuckled at the outrageous claim, but it was devoid of any humor. “You probably fucked your business over yourself.”

“Do you think I’m a fool?” the man growled, searing metal against flesh. “I know men like you, Mr. Seo, and I’m willing to bet that you’ve played a bigger part than what you’ve let on.”

“I have better things to do than fuck with some second rate booze club,” Changbin growled. “We’ve got clubs all over downtown. They’ve all been successful, and it has nothing to do with sending off the competition.”

Changbin smirked then, something harsh and mocking. “Maybe you’re just a really bad businessman.”

But it was the wrong thing to say, and you withheld a scream of terror when the man suddenly wrapped biting fingers into your hair. “You want to save your cocksleeve?” he growled, gripping even tighter to your aching scalp and wrenching your head back to expose your throat and the small laceration he had left there on the smooth skin. A puddle of red amidst the rest. “Tell me why you did it!”

“I can’t!” Changbin snarled in return. “My guys never stepped foot in your territory.”

“LIES!” the man roared, and you were teetering precariously in your chair, back legs lifted from the safety of the floor.

“If you hurt her,” Changbin said, and his tone was staggered and weak. “I will make sure you suffer a thousand times worse.”

The man laughed, incredulous as he looked around the room. “And what do you plan to do about it?”

Silent tears fell down your glistening cheeks as you felt the man’s warm breath against the side of your face. “Maybe violence isn’t enough for you. Maybe I need to get what I need by other means.”

Your stomach dropped at the guttural tone, trying to meet Changbin’s eyes from across the room. “You’ve been warned,” Changbin said. “The grave you’ve dug for yourself is deep enough.”

“Oh?” the man laughed. “Well, since you think you’re in such control here, let me remind of you of the reality of the situation...”

“Changbin!” you cried when you were abruptly lifted from your chair, knife cutting through the ropes binding you, sending you colliding back against the solid mass of an unfamiliar form, loose hands roaming across your torso. 

“Stop!”

Changbin’s voice was just veering on the edge of desperate, recognizing that you were in no position for him to sound anything less than serious. 

“Stop?” your captor repeated in a mocking tone, and you felt the blade of the knife return to your throat, slicing down harder and finally triggering the hair-raising scream that you had been suppressing. Trying to be brave for Changbin.

“You can’t do this!” Changbin cried, and you were amazed to see the faint rivulet of a tear stain - the mark of weakness that your husband tried so hard to suppress in this violent line of work.

If you thought about it, there were only a handful of times that you had ever seen Changbin cry.

“I’ll do anything,” Changbin whispered. “I’ll even take her place! Just don’t hurt her anymore.”

“Hmmm?” Your captor relinquished his threatening attack, and you could breath a little easier when he turned his attention back to Changbin.“What if I offer you a compromise? Tell me how you’ve managed your business affairs, and I won’t kill your little plaything.”

Changbin inhaled sharply, gaze full of a sinister rage you knew was reserved for his greatest enemies. “You’ll be screaming for a death of your own by the time I’m done with you.”

“You still don’t understand,” the man sighed, and you gasped when chapped lips brushed against your cheek. “Maybe I’ll fuck her first...”

“You won’t have the time.”

“Says who...”

He trailed off then. The last words you ever heard from your captor before an enormous explosion interrupted the tension, walls and floors shaking as dust and debris fell from the ceiling overhead.

You could feel the body behind you trembling as well, but you knew that it wasn’t from the explosion. It was from fear, and in a split second of panic, the man shoved you to the ground, and you yelped when your head collided hard against the concrete. 

You attempted to pull yourself back up, but there was something numbing and weighty keeping you on the floor, darkness swimming threateningly in front of your eyes once again.

There were familiar sounds: the sharp click of a gun, the whizzing of bullets flying overhead, and the cacophony of screams and yells.

The pain was keeping you from focusing, aware of vague figures passing in and out of your periphery, running and moving in all sorts of directions. It was chaos at its finest, and you were incapable of comprehending any of it. Instead, you could only focus on two things: the pounding of your pulse against your eardrums and the intermingled buzzing of familiar tones.

There was a hand on your shoulder, but you were incapable of responding to their call, succumbing to an irrefutable and dreamless sleep.

The first thing you noticed when you were capable of understanding your surroundings, was the silky fabric of the bed sheets.

They were smooth to the touch and you flexed your fingers around them, humming in contentment when you silted open your eyes just enough to confirm that they belonged to you and Changbin. The ones you used on the King-sized bed in your shared room.

But therein lay the problem: you were alone in the bed, and the only voices you could hear certainly didn’t match the same tone of your husband.

You swallowed hard, flinching when the motion brought attention to the thick bandage around your neck, and upon touching the material, you were bombarded with a barrage of images reminding you of everything that had happened the previous night. 

It was enough to leave you shaking, seeking some form of comfort as you roused your body just enough to turn around to the sound of those voices, recognizing Chan, your husband’s boss, and Seungmin, the residential healer.

“Chan?” you groaned, grimacing at the dryness in your mouth.

“Y/N,” he acknowledged you, rushing over to your bedside in an instant. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” you said, watching as he lifted a bottle of water to hand to you.

“Drink this.”

You nodded, taking it from him. “Where’s Changbin?”

The question was met with silence, and you frowned when Chan and Seungmin exchanged quick glances. “Well, if nothing hurts, then I have other appointments,” Seungmin said, hurriedly dismissing himself from the room.

“Coward,” Chan muttered, but he was nothing but smiles for you, coming to sit down at your bedside. “Changbin...he’s busy.”

The answer wasn’t satisfactory, and your heart started beating a little faster. “Where?”

“Downstairs,” he said, and you knew exactly what that meant. 

“He brought him here?” you muttered, hating the idea of having someone like that under the same roof you called home. 

“Changbin insisted,” Chan replied, and you realized that he disapproved as well, but it still didn’t help your tender sensibilities, and you were ready to implode from the inside because you needed Changbin’s comfort.

“I need him,” you said, fixing Chan with a stern look. “Can you ask him to come up here?”

“He won’t be convinced until he’s done,” Chan said, but his gaze was soft as he leaned in closer. “I can help, if you’d like.”

It was a nice gesture, and normally you might take him up on an offer of comfort, but Chan wasn’t going to heal the turmoil bubbling inside of you.

The emotions burst forth, and your eyes had already glossed over from tears shedding themselves like dead leaves falling from a tree in the middle of a windstorm. “I just want Changbin,” you sobbed, and Chan was barely perceivable through the mess of your tears. 

You could tell Chan was upset by your dismissal, even as his fingers tried to brush away the wetness dotting your cheeks. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said, and it spoke to a history between the two of you that often when unsaid.

You had been given to Chan, your organization’s leader, as a peace offering from a rival mafia group. It was a cruel trade, and you resisted as much as you could, especially since, at first, you were meant to be his betrothed.

And you came into the Miroh Group with a determination to resist them to the very end.

Until Changbin stole your heart.

From there, you couldn’t believe that you had gotten so lucky, falling in love whole-heartedly, capable of forgiving Changbin’s worst sins.

Including his more sadistic tendencies.

“You can try to see him,” Chan said, seemingly satisfied after wiping away most of the evidence of your internal breakdown.

You nodded immediately, even though you understood that what you might find downstairs wouldn’t be anything comforting.

You felt a little unsteady on your feet, even with Chan helping you down the concrete steps descending into a place you tended to avoid.

The smell of alcohol and blood were both overwhelming, and you stumbled on the final step, rearing back at the sound of a truly gruesome gurgle that reminded you too much of drowning. 

In the middle of the room you managed to make out Changbin, wearing dark pants and a white t-shirt, allowing you to see all the blood painting the texture in ugly patterns.

But then your attention wandered over to the poor soul strapped to the chair, barely recognizable because of the damage caused by your husband, the one who was gaping at you while holding a knife in one hand and scissors in the other.

"Y/N,” Changbin whispered. “Why aren’t you resting?”

You shook your head, looking past the gruesome, mangled damage to see the pained expression of your former captor. 

Changbin had made good on his threat to tear the asshole apart, and your stomach rolled at the awful display of violence.

Done at the hands of the man who made the sweetest love to you in the dark recesses of your bedroom.

Still, you craved his presence, falling into his open arms as he held you close after tossing aside his tools. “Shhh,” he whispered to calm your tears.

“You weren’t there when I woke up,” you sniffled.

“I’m sorry, love,” Changbin said, soothing your cries with soft cooing. 

You savored his closeness, tucking your chin over his shoulder and opening your eyes to look upon the decrepit appearance of your former captor. “What are you doing to him?” you asked, and you felt Changbin sigh as he pulled back from you.

“I know you don’t approve, love,” Changbin said, and he glanced down at his ruined t-shirt and jeans, drenched in blood. 

Under most circumstances, you would agree, but you felt your hand jumping to your throat, wrapping around the bandage covering your wound. 

Changbin frowned at the movement, likely remembering the events that led to your injuries. “Kill him,” you said, and both Changbin and Chan seemed taken aback by your response. It was completely out of character, coming from someone who often disapproved of the murderous part of their work. 

“Y/N,” Chan whispered, and you could see that he wore wariness on top of his horrified expression.

“Come upstairs soon,” you said, squeezing Changbin’s hand with your own. “I need you.”

Your husband nodded, looking at you with something akin to awe as you left the downstairs basement with Chan hot on your heels and torturous screams assaulting your ears. 

Chan only left your bedroom once Changbin arrived, showered and clean, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

“Careful,” Chan whispered to him on the way out, and you shivered.

But there was nothing that could warm you up more than Changbin, and you even managed a smile when he climbed into the bed behind you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist to pull you closer. “Hi, princess,” he whispered, and you felt like bathing in the sensual tone of his voice.

“Changbin,” you sighed in return, turning around so that you could face him.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it love?” he asked, reaching out to tenderly stroke his fingers across your bandages. 

“Not anymore,” you said. “Seungmin did a good job.”

“He better,” Changbin rumbled, and you tried not to roll your eyes at your husband. 

“I was really upset earlier,” you said. “When I couldn’t find you.”

“That’s my fault, princess,” Changbin said. “I didn’t know you would wake-up so soon....and there were things I needed to take care of.”

You sighed, closing your eyes hard against a distant image of your mind conjuring the bloodied and ruined form of your captor. “Did you find out who he belonged to?”

“Yeah, a small organization under Park,” Changbin said. “He was more than willing to talk after I took one of his fingers.”

Your heart twisted at his nonchalant tone. “I guess you silenced him.”

Changbin hesitated, pausing to look at you with concern. “Are you mad at me?”

“Just...disappointed,” you said. “I couldn’t hold myself together.”

“It would’ve torn me apart,” Changbin replied. “If I let him go without making him suffer for touching my princess.”

You closed your eyes, feeling Changbin trail his fingers across your arm. “But you’re here now?”

“Of course,” Changbin agreed, leaning in to kiss you gently. “I’m yours, love. For as long as you need me to hold you.”

“Might be all night,” you said, moving up to kiss under his jaw. “I need you in a lot of ways.”

Changbin chuckled at your implications, leaving nothing to be imagined as you grazed one finger over the front of his sweatpants where his cock lay flaccid. He titled your chin at a better angle, a glaze of lust darkening his eyes. “When you feel better,” he purred. “I’ll take care of your little pussy.”

You shook at his seductive promise, curling even closer to him as Changbin’s thudding heart lulled you into a comfortable peace.

[jiminisnotavirgin]

A+

Pairing: professor!taehyung | collegestudent!reader

Genre: smut

Description: A one-on-one video call with your hot, college professor takes a surprising turn.

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: inappropriate student/teacher relations, mutual masturbation, fingering, clit-stimulation, and innapropriate language.

Note: After much anticipation, I hope this is my return to the writing part of the lovely fanfic world. Here’s a little something mischievous and self-indulgent (clearly!). I started writing this when quarantine and remote-learning first began last year and I returned to it earlier this week. Let me know what you think :) I hope you enjoy A+. Love, Phoenix.

Email after email, document after document, the light from Taehyung’s laptop shines bright blue across his features. The hours go by and the sky grows darker but he remains at his desk, only taking small breaks to lighten the strain on his eyes. His chair creaks as he leans back and glances outside the window. Like most nights lately, only the stars keep him company tonight.

His courses shifted to an online-only remote format due to the need for social distancing. Despite the initial confidence he displayed to his boss and colleagues over the change, Taehyung is more unsure than ever. Frustration sneaks its way into his mind like a viper wrapped around its squirming prey. His life has turned into a turbulent sea of e-mails and complaints from upset students. What’s the best way for him to support his students? How can he assure them that their mental health is more important than any essay or assignment they’ll ever complete?

A sudden knock at the door steals his attention. Jungkook, his roommate and best friend, leans against the doorway with crossed arms. “Professor Kim,” he begins with a smirk. “Do you have a minute to speak?”

“What’s up?” asks Taehyung, ignoring his friend’s use of the name his students address him with.

“Did you see Jimin’s text? He invited us over for drinks at his apartment. Are you coming?”

“Can’t,” answers Taehyung. His computer glows in his peripheral vision. “I have—“

“Emails to write, work to do. I get it, you’re a busy man.” Jungkook shrugs. “I thought I’d ask anyway since it’s Saturday night.”

“Maybe next time.” Guilt floods Taehyung’s chest and makes it difficult to look Jungkook directly in the eye. Not only is he a shitty professor but he’s a shitty friend, too.

Jungkook finally steps inside the room, occasionally tinkering with Taehyung’s things until he reaches his desk. “Whatever. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Jungkook’s already-large doe eyes go wider. “Because all you do is sit at that damn computer all day!”

“I have to teach classes online, what do you expect?”

“It’s not healthy. You barely even leave your room to eat.”

“Who are you, the food police?”

“No, I’m your best friend,” Jungkook answers. “When was the last time you did anything fun? Or normal? You’re twenty-six, Tae, not a hundred and six.”

Taehyung sighs. “I can’t think about any of that right now. Actually, I should get back to my work...”

Jungkook takes the hint and leaves, but not without shooting a glare that makes Taehyung regret his choice of words. He can’t worry about it right now though—not when he has a call planned with you in about two minutes.

He was surprised to see an email from you in his inbox yesterday. You’re one of the students that hasn’t reached out all semester unlike most of the others in his courses. He knows just what kind of student you are: the type who floats through classes quietly but still gets high marks. You’re an older student. You fade into the background by avoiding the attention of your peers but your work stands out, therefore, you do too. He recognizes it because he was that student, too.

Taehyung opens the app for the call, expecting you to pick up after a minute or two but you answer within seconds. “Hello,” he greets you.

You tuck a stand of hair behind your ear and speak but no sound follows the movement of your mouth. He waits but nothing changes.

Taehyung clears his throat. “I think your microphone is off,” he says and types the same words into the chat box at the bottom of his screen.

You squint as you bring your face closer to the monitor. “Can you hear me now?”

He smiles. “Perfect. So, how are you doing? How’s the semester been so far?”

You shrug. “It’s been okay. I’m just trying my best, you know? What about you?”

“Pretty much the same. There’s nothing to do besides read and grade assignments.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the midterm, actually...” your voice fades out and your eyes drift away from the camera. He digs through his memory for what you wrote but his mind comes out empty-handed.

“Let me pull it up on my computer.” He searches through his saved files and documents.

“Oh, you don’t have to do all of that.” You pause for a few seconds. “It’s about my grade.”

“Let’s see... B-plus. Nice work.” When he looks away from your paper, he catches you frowning.

“Could you give me some feedback on it?” you ask.

“I left a few comments on the side,” he answers, eyes still glued to the document. He exits the window and focuses on your face once again. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. You’re a lovely writer.”

“Not good enough if I can only get B-pluses,” you answer with a sigh. Taehyung sits up in his chair, surprised by your shift in tone.

Are you looking for an explanation? A justification for the grades he’s given you? “Most students would be satisfied with a B-plus in an almost graduate level course.”

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not your other students.”

His brows twitches. “Oh?”

“I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an arrogant jerk but I’m not used to getting anything lower than an A on my papers. The fact that I’m about to graduate and can’t hack yours is pretty... frustrating.”

He presses his lips together. “I don’t know what to tell you.” What do you want to hear? Can anything he’ll say wipe that glare off your face? It’s interesting to see you lose your cool after all this time.

You refuse to back down from the challenge. In this impromptu staring contest, your brown eyes penetrate his through the computer screen.

Taehyung decides to give in. Slightly. “One thing I will say,” he continues, “is that I’m particularly tough on my best students. If I gave you an A-plus on every essay you handed in, what would you work up to? There’s no doubt about the strength of your writing.”

Your expression changes immediately. “Oh,” is the only word that leaves your lips. The lines of anger decorating your forehead smooth out as your mouth eases into a relieved smile.

It’s in this moment that Taehyung finds himself looking at you. Truly looking at you.

There’s something about the determination in your face as you plead your case, as though nothing else in the world matters more. Your glossy, heart-shaped lips possess a reddish tint that reminds him of cherries, or rubies. Even through the pixels on the computer screen, you retain the same freshness he remembers from a few months ago, if not more now.

All this time on the computer has gone to your head, he thinks to himself. Perhaps there’s still a chance for him to catch up to Jungkook and the others.

A giggle erupts from your side of the call. “So my papers are good? And here I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“I didn’t mean to make you suffer,” he murmurs and runs a hand through the waves in his raven hair. His eyelids flutter closed as he sinks into his chair and stretches his arms. Finally, a meeting he can consider a success; a meeting where the student leaves the call less frustrated than when it began. He prepares to end the call and log off for the night.

Then he hears it.

It’s faint and quiet and quick but he hears it, as if all sounds in the world were turned off and yours was amplified. The sound echoes in his mind as though you were right there beside him: “If only you knew how you make me suffer.”

This progression of thoughts occurs in a matter of seconds. By the time he’s processed your statement, his eyes have been forced open and any chance of relaxation for the rest of the night disappears into thin air.

“What?” he asks, voice betraying the casualness he wishes to exude.

“Oh, nothing.” You blink innocently, long lashes fluttering like a pair of butterfly wings. “I just care about your opinion, Professor Kim, if you can’t tell.”

“Right...” His eyes trail to the messy display of pens and papers spread out across his desk—anything to avoid your gaze. Its intensity has multiplied a thousandfold and threatens to melt him like a popsicle in the sun. He ignores the surge of anxious heat flowing through his veins.

“I mean,” you continue, lips pursed. “Who doesn’t love hearing a little bit of praise every once in a while, right?”

Your statement hangs in the air for what feels like an eternity. His shirt suddenly squeezes his torso. His pants suffocate his thighs. The room feels like a furnace and dizzying all at once, but the tension in the air keeps him in the moment.

“What are you doing?” he finally asks.

All the blood drains from your face and your limbs freeze. You hold your hands up in the air. “I’m sorry, professor. I didn’t mean to—“

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” warns Taehyung. A new fire fuels his gaze. With his thick brows, chiseled face, and beautiful black hair to match, your professor is a flame and you’ve been dying to get burned since you first laid eyes on him.

You pull off your hoodie and toss it onto the ground behind you. With a small tug of your index finger, you adjust the spaghetti straps of your pink tank top, underneath which you wear no bra. Your nipples prick at the thin fabric that stretches with each of your breaths.

“You deserve so much more than a little bit of praise,” he murmurs, erasing any doubts over your advances towards him.

“I do?”

“Mmhmm. Especially since you’ve been such a good girl.”

This man couldn’t possibly be the same one that lectured your class all semester. Something sinful replaces the innocent, awkward mannerisms you’ve grown to know over time. No more does he hesitate with his words or actions. Instead, he leans towards the camera with his shoulders pushed back. You’re greeted by his neck and the tan slope of his chest that hides beneath the loose collar of his button-down. You want nothing more than to rip off his shirt with your bare hands. For now, you can only imagine what lies beneath.

“Good girls deserve rewards,” he says with a swipe of his tongue across his plump bottom lip, snapping you out of your daze.

“What should I do?” you ask and glance at your closed bedroom door. Fortunately, you locked it before the call started. You don’t want any intrusions from your roommate.

“You should wind down and take care of yourself. You’ve been working so hard.” His eyes dart down to your tank top. “Close your eyes and imagine it’s me worshipping your chest.”

Your eyes fall closed as your hands drift to the hem of your top. Your fingertips graze your stomach and stop when your skin begins to slope up into the mounds of your breasts. “What would you do if you were here with me right now?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “I’d make it my mission to kiss every part of you but first, I’d focus on those beautiful breasts of yours. They’d fit in my hands perfectly.”

With your left hand, you grasp one breast and tighten your grip just the slightest bit. The squeeze forces a sigh from your lips and although your eyes are closed, Taehyung struggles to control his own breathing as he watches you begin to unfold. With the other hand, you bring two fingers to your mouth and coat them in saliva only to bring them down to your nipples which harden with each squeeze and stroke.

Taehyung swallows in anticipation. “Just like that. Keep going.”

“Wait, what about you?” you ask, voice raspy and slightly out of breath.

“What about me?”

“I’m not the only one who deserves a reward.”

“Watching you wriggle and writhe in desire is enough for me.”

You cross your arms. “Nope.”

He chuckles. “What do you suggest I do, then?”

“I want you to fuck yourself with your hand and imagine it’s my pussy squeezing the life out of you.”

Your words knock the air out of Taehyung’s lungs but he manages to recover quickly. “You may be a good girl but you’ve got a dirty mouth.”

You smirk. “What are you going to do about it?”

The sound of his metal belt buckle clinks from his end. “Touch yourself right now. Play with your clit and we’ll see if you’ve still got that nasty mouth of yours when you’re begging me to cum.”

You raise your brows. “I fully intend on cumming at least once in your presence tonight, professor, whether I have your permission or not.”

“Call me Taehyung.” He takes a moment to reflect on the current situation versus the dynamic you had only minutes ago. “Why now? Why did you initiate—”

“My grades go above all else. I didn’t want to jeopardize any of that,” you answer. “And I also waited for your sake.”

“My sake? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were doing this to secure your grades,” he muses.

“Nothing boosts my ego like getting an A-plus based solely off my hard work,” you answer. “Fucking my hot professor is for my own personal pleasure.”

You description makes it sound so typical, just another everyday thing like washing the dishes. Are you using him? Deep inside, the thought of you using him arouses him. He wants to be used by you.

“You’re gorgeous,” he whispers, suddenly absorbed by you and the way you carefully orchestrated this interaction. How long did you think about this moment? Were you afraid of rejection?

“I know. Everyone likes me but I always want what I can’t have.” You wink. “Life’s more fun that way.”

Fun. “Enough talk. Let me see.”

“Yes, of course,” you stutter, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. You don’t mind his demands or commanding tone. In fact, you invite them.

“Slide back,” he instructs you. “I want to see everything.”

You swallow and obey immediately, rising to pull your chair further away from the camera. You take the chance to slip off your sweatpants which leaves you in nothing but your underwear and tank top. Your underwear isn’t fancy but it’s what’s below that he’s interested in.

You lower yourself onto the seat, not bothering to keep your legs pressed together. You spread your knees slowly, as if your legs were a book with pages waiting to be read.

“Good. Open up more and show me how bad you want it,” he says. The smile in his voice urges you on.

Your hand creeps along the stretchy waistband of your underwear. The material works against you, forcing your wrist against your pelvis and the area you so desperately wish to touch. You have to be patient since you seek to milk this moment for as long as possible.

Your middle finger searches for any sign of dampness and you gasp when you find a small pool already built up at your core. When you look back at the monitor to see what he’d like you to do next, you watch as he adjusts himself into a similar position to yours.

“Your turn. Take off your shirt,” you instruct.

He raises his eyebrows. A mischievous smile dawns on his face. “Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“So demanding. That’s what got us here in the first place,” he remarks but proceeds to unbutton his shirt.

“I’m not afraid to go out and get what I want.”

“I know, and I admire you for it,” he says. His shirt begins to crinkle as he unbuttons lower and lower until eventually, the front parts to reveal his chest. His abs are soft and his warm honey skin looks smooth. You wonder what it would it taste like.

As he rolls up his sleeves, you observe every movement of his hands. They’re large. One of the first things you noticed about him when he spoke in class and lead discussions. You always wondered what his hands would look like if they were doing something else entirely... Now, your fantasies have come to life.

You force your jaw closed but he’s already caught you staring. “Like what you see?” he asks through his low lids.

“Oh, please. As if you don’t know you’re attractive as hell.”

A low laugh emerges from the man and you smile. If only you could bottle it up and keep it. When he reaches into his pants, you follow along, taking the slick from your finger up to your clit in one smooth stroke. You hum and bite at your lips to contain your reaction.

He shakes his head. “Don’t hide it. You sound beautiful.”

Your other hand starts to wander as you go to work on your clit. From your head to your chest, you seek something to ground you as your soft bud puffs with pleasure. No longer does it hide, tucked away beneath the crevices of your lips. You grind against it using your hand and a slow swivel of your hips from left to right.

“You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you,” coos Taehyung. “Your body was made for this. For pleasure.”

The sight of him gripping the base of his cock is almost enough to send you over. A light glaze of sweat builds on your forehead but you make no effort to wipe it. Taehyung wishes to feel the heat of your body on his. It’s probably better than anything he could ever imagine.

Perhaps now more than ever, he longs for the days before the virus took over and broke everyone apart. He misses those times so much he could cry, especially since he took them for granted. At the same time though, he thinks about the effort those close to him have made to keep in contact. Even old friends he hadn’t spoken to in years called to catch up with him. His students have stuck out the most out of anyone. One or two of them don’t even own laptops but they show up to class on time and bring their A-game. He believes he should take a note or two from them.

As he studies you, the way you squirm in delight, and the way your body responds to the ministrations of your hand, a wave of relief washes over him. If it weren’t for these circumstances, he wouldn’t have had this moment with you.

“Taehyung,” you moan, bringing him back.

The sound of you calling his name shoots heat straight to his cock. With the precum glistening at the top, he grabs his cock and works the tip using his thumb. “Fuck. Look at what you do to me,” he groans at the sensitivity.

“Please,” you take in a breath and continue, “t-tell me more.”

If praise is what you want, praise is what you’ll get. “You’re so hardworking in everything that you do. Look at you now. Touching yourself just for me.”

“Yes, yes.” You moan as your fingers settle into the one position that feels like you’ve struck gold.

“How far inside can those fingers go? I bet you can put them in real deep.”

It’s as though your hands were waiting for his approval. You slip inside your clenching, gaping hole using two fingers. They slide in easily but the initial stretch is foreign since it’s been so long.

Taehyung groans and for the first time tonight, you begin to see him lose control. His cool exterior sinks into the pleasure of his hand—and of you—leaving him a sweaty, desirable mess. His hair sticks to his forehead and his stomach clenches with each stroke of his hand. He moves slowly, trying to match the pace of your hand. You pick up speed and allow your body to move against the rhythm of your hand. Your insides feel warm and soft and slippery. You close your eyes and imagine he’s the one fingering you with those gorgeous hands of his.

The rubber band of pleasure in your stomach begins to stretch. The squelch of your pussy grows louder with each passing second.

Taehyung is well-endowed but never did you imagine his dick would expand so much in length and girth. He could spear your pussy in one fell swoop, destroying your insides and anything else that gets in his way.

“Taehyung, I’m close,” you say with a sigh. You barely have the energy to speak.

“Fuck, me too,” he adds. “I’m almost there. Cum with me.”

His hand travels from base to tip and each part of the journey is smoother than the last. He massages each vein and ripple and moves even faster when he catches a glimpse of the uneven quiver of your thighs. Heat churns in his stomach and all he can do is chase it desperately. He needs it like oxygen, to breathe in the sight of you along with the pleasure of his nether regions.

The rubber band snaps. It strikes you in waves, each crash stronger the last. You let the waves overtake you and succumb to the burst of pleasure spreading through your limbs. You pull out your hand and clench around nothing as the sensitivity forces your legs closed.

Just when you thought things were over, Taehyung makes a request: “Taste it.”

You waste no time in taking your fingers to your mouth, gliding your tongue on the pads of your fingertips, and spreading the salty fluid in your mouth. All you can focus on is the heavenly sight of Taehyung coming. Each breath he lets out comes with a moan. You swear you can feel the vibration of his low voice against your own chest. His hair covers his eyes but you know they’re closed in pleasure. He intakes one sharp breath before it finally takes him over.

He can feel nothing but release. Release of stress. Release of work. Release of anything except you. As white spurts of cum squirt from his dick in a messy stream of strings, all you can think about is the beauty of his body.

“This was fun,” you admit with a smile. “I’m glad my attempt didn’t flop.”

“No, that would’ve been a huge mistake on my part.”

As you look down, your eyelashes brush the top of your cheeks and you bite your lip in anticipation. “I know I’m graduating and all, but we should do this again sometime. If you’re interested.”

He rests his elbows on his desk and brings himself closer to the camera. With his hand holding the side of his face, he takes in the sweet sight of you. “Did you enjoy it that much?”

“Oh yes. In fact, unlike some people, I’d give you an A-plus.”

[x-lipstickstain-x]

Comfort in the Dark

Daniel/Lando Fluff

Daniel squinted at the bright screen of his phone when heard a noise, the time displayed was 1:03am and he was now certain someone was at the door as the knocking continued. It was evidently the sound that had brought his peaceful sleep to a pause. Although he was slightly annoyed by being woken, he knew no one would be at his door at this time without a good reason, which made him a little uneasy. 

With a bathrobe now hugging over his half naked body, he pulled the door open. The frustration built up when he couldn’t locate the culprit, he leaned out of the door, spotting a familiar mop of curls heading away down the corridor. 

“What the fuck man?” Daniel huffed, startling his teammate who clearly hadn’t heard the door opening, his eyes wide at the sound of Daniel’s voice. “Playing knock and run at 1am?” 

Lando winced, strolling back to where he was just a few seconds before, disturbing the Aussie’s sleep. “Sorry I just thought you might be awake, but then you weren’t opening so I just-,”. He continued rambling on an explanation, avoiding eye contact.

“Well I am awake now cause you’re fucking around, mate go to bed we have a race tomorrow.” 

“I wasn’t-,” Lando began, but let out an exhausted sigh, his head shaking. “Nevermind, see you tomorrow Danny.” His tone was so fragile, as if his voice threatened to crack any moment which didn’t go unnoticed by Daniel, just like the way Lando’s fingers were almost pulling apart the sleeves of the Quadrant hoodie he was wearing. 

He had already turned back to walk away again when Daniel softened, his anger replaced by concern and suddenly feeling wide awake. “Wait, are you okay?” At his question, Lando stopped in his tracks with his shoulders slumping even further than before. Slowly turning to face Dan, his head gently shook from side to side in a silent response. That’s all Daniel needed before pushing the door to his room open further and stepping to the side to let Lando in. 

It actually wasn’t the first time Lando had come to him looking as if he was a hug away from bursting into tears. They got on well as friends and teammates, perhaps they weren’t that close off track, though this didn’t stop them from comforting one another when it was necessary. 

It started when Daniel was missing out on Q3 and then not finishing in points for a few races in a row, he felt awful, unable to pinpoint what was going on with him. Lando came to see him that time and instead of the usual ‘I’ll help you with more data if you need it’, he suggested they could hang out, what he didn’t quite expect was for Daniel to just hug him tightly. Lando felt a little awkward, he playfully commented how he could have just asked for cuddles if he needed them. He took him up on that offer the same evening. They didn’t speak about it after. 

The second time it happened, it was after Lando had crashed during qualifying, whenever he closed his eyes to sleep that night it felt like he was about to be thrown around in the car again and he wanted nothing more than to be held. Dan’s room was right beside his, he didn’t know Daniel had stayed up that night, wanting to check up on Lando himself though not quite building the courage to do so, he was relieved when Lando came to him. Once again, they didn’t speak about it after.

The difference between the situations was that both of these were clearly the other needing comfort after a bad experience during the sessions. Though, today Lando had qualified on pole position, his first one in formula 1, so why the hell was he sulking in Dan’s room at this time?

He sat down on his bed, patiently waiting for Lando to tell him what was on his mind. He watched him as he stood in the middle of the room, clearly not sure what to do with himself, tugging the sleeves of his hoodie over his nervous hands then placing them over his face before blurting out. “I’m scared.”

Daniel frowned. “Of?” 

“Of fucking up in the race, fucking up the start, making a mistake, crashing, disappointing the whole team.” He paused to take a breath, his teammate mentally begging him not to continue the list. “What if this is my only chance to win and I fuck it up. It’s all I can think about, Danny.” 

The way he said his name sounded like a beg, a cry to help him stop the thoughts from spiraling. Daniel raised to his feet, stepping closer and using the pocket of his hoodie to draw his smaller frame into his embrace, Lando immediately responded by wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist, his face nuzzling into his chest. Daniel softly massaged out the tension built up in the muscle between his neck and shoulder, a low hum escaping his lips in response to the touch. 

Daniel pulled back once Lando’s breathing had returned to a somewhat calmer pace. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He helped him get out of his hoodie before slipping out of the robe himself and both of them settling into the bed comfortably. Surprisingly, Lando didn’t turn away with his back to Daniel like he had done the previous nights they met. Dan figured it was because he felt a little embarrassed about being vulnerable and being cuddled by him, but this time he was facing Dan with his sparkly eyes on him. 

Lando’s eyes closed for a brief moment as Dan’s arm wrapped around him, his fingers brushing through the curls on the back of his head, when his eyes opened their gaze met, sending shivers down Lando’s back. Knowing he had about half a second before Lando would begin to overthink the way his body just reacted, Daniel spoke up. “You know you’ve been amazing all season, you’re capable of getting this win.” Lando winced - even Daniel had high expectations of him, he almost rolled away from him, but Daniel held him still. “But even if you don’t, it’s okay because this is just one opportunity out of many… You’re getting better and better with experience, I’m sure one day getting on pole’s will be a normal thing for you.” 

Lando still seemed unconvinced, a sigh leaving his lips. “You really think I can do this?”

Daniel chuckled, “Of course you can.” There wasn’t the slightest hint of hesitation. “If not tomorrow, then many times in the near future.”

The reassurance was met with a small upwards tug of Lando’s lips, but not quite yet forming a smile. He leaned into Daniel’s fingers which were currently massaging his scalp. He allowed himself to close his eyes and focus on the soothing sensation mixed with Dan’s further whispers of comfort. 

At one point Daniel believed Lando was asleep as he hadn’t spoken or moved a lot, he noticed how long he had been staring at him so he forced himself to reach for the lamp and switch off the light. He absentmindedly moved closer to Lando, his lips pressing to his forehead and he became very aware of what he’s done when Lando stiffened beside him, his eyes now open and very much showing he hadn’t been asleep just yet. Daniel felt his own breath get caught in his chest, he didn’t mean to scare him, now he’s fucked it completely and clearly overstepped some sort of boundary. He moved back, ready to apologise when he saw a sleepy smile slowly form on Lando’s face, the light coming through the gaps in the window curtains allowing him to thankfully distinguish it in the dark. Lando, no longer tense, pressed himself further into Daniel, the Aussie relieved and left with a flutter in his stomach when Lando found his hand and entwined their fingers, whispering a goodnight.

A slam of the door made Daniel’s eyes snap open, letting out a string of curse words when he realised it was Lando who was no longer in the room and apparently wasn’t able to close the door quietly like a normal human being. It was already bright outside so he reached out for his phone to check how long he had left before his alarm would ring. When grabbing the device his hand bumped into something warm on the nightstand that he knew previously wasn’t there, making him slowly sit up to see what it was.

He found a takeaway cup standing on the side, when lifting it closer, the smell of coffee finally reached him, already filling his chest with warmth and switching his mood when he realised how it got there. ‘Thank you.’ Was written on the cardboard with a little love heart underneath, when he turned the cup the other side displayed ‘Let’s get ‘em’ written with the same black marker. 

He stared at the closed door with a fond smile on his face.

In the paddock Daniel couldn’t help but steal glances at Lando to make sure he was doing okay, he was evidently still nervous and Daniel had the urge to walk over to him and hug him. That's why when he had a few minutes spare with still some time before the race due to start and he spotted Lando being left alone in his drivers room, he went over to him. As soon as the door closed behind him and Lando realised who had entered, he walked right over to him, his arms wrapping around his older teammate instantly. Dan whispered a small “hi” before his hand found its way into his hair, massaging his scalp the same way he did last night. 

Lando pulled back to look into his eyes, “Can you do it again?” Daniel frowned at his request, confused if he was referring to him massaging his scalp which he was still doing anyway. 

“Kiss my forehead.” Lando whispered. “You know, like for good luck.” He nervously added, waiting for Dan’s reaction. 

Meanwhile Daniel felt his heart almost leap out his chest with affection. He smiled, pressing his lips to Lando’s forehead and letting them linger for a moment before moving to peck the tip of his nose and carrying on down to his lips. Daniel’s lips hovered over Lando’s letting him pull back if he wanted to, but instead Lando leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss. 

Maybe this time they’ll speak about it.

[rumblelibrary]

Back at it again with mysterious anon,

Could I request some Niki angst? You've done one where the reader cheats on James to be with Niki so maybe reader cheats on Niki with James 👀

Muted [Niki Lauda x Reader]

Word count: 2k

Warnings: angst

A/N: This one makes no sense, I just wanted to break my own heart. Little narration, a lot of feelings.

Niki wished to be able to tear his ears off when he heard James sweet talk to you after a pre-season testing. He whispered sweet nothings to you, telling you how he would sweep you off your feet, bring you away to his house in England.

Then things got heated, he started mentioning how he wished to do you this and that. He didn't need to be specific with his words, Niki could easily understand the situation by how y didn't even flinch or tried to deny yourself.

He knew you, he knew you too well.

With him you have always been protective, jealous, proud of your relationship and there was only one way he could imagine you giving in.

You already gave up. He already lost you before that very moment, you slipped through his fingers like water through wood, following every curve and every wrinkle, weakening it from the outside until you got to the inside, opening it up, exposing it.

His jaw clenched, he pulled his cap over his eyes as he marched away.

There was no time to regret, no time to think twice, he had only one thing to do.

Throw the soaked wood away.

You were speechless the moment you came home to find your stuff already dislocated outside the door, your keys completely useless in the brand new locker.

Very Niki: efficient, resolute and without looking back.

You knocked at the door, you waited but there was no answer.

Your eyes darted down onto the simple and effective doormat you brought, or was it already there when you moved in? As you wondered why it had to end like this, you didn't even act surprised, you knew perfectly what you did and you took full responsibility over your actions.

You were no saint in this situation and maybe it was bold of you to just expect confrontation from Niki.

You considered to just leave, even if pained you to go like that, but you were temporary bruiselessp, you knew actions weren’t the most painful weapon in Niki’s arsenal, it was his cut throat way of speaking and in particular when it came to you.

Before you could have the time to realise that it wasn’t a punishment but a chance the door opened. Wild curls and beaming eyes, simple home clothing and steady hands.

He was everything you ever wanted and all you could never achieve.

“Niki” you murmured as you looked at him “Listen”

He looked at you eyebrows up “Oh, no I think I heard enough today between you and Hunt”

“No, no, now you’ll listen”

You paced inside the house quickly to stand in front of him, a visible frown over

your features.

Don’t do it, you ket telling yourself, just leave, just go, don’t confront him, you can’t win.

He was right, you cheated but it was’t pure lust, it wasn’t like you enjoyed to hurt him and hadn’t felt a single beat of guilt, you just wanted him to know that.

“Tell me the truth, were you even serious with me?”

You asked him and the question made him cringe.

“Like what? The doubt made you wish to make sure you will always have a bed to sleep into? We lived together, sounds pretty serious to me, evident if you apply a bit of brain power in it”

You frowned as he was hurt and he was attacking you but he saw you wanted to talk and he smirked shaking his head “What are you doing? Finding a way to put the blame on me?”

“I just want to talk Niki” you groaned but he rolled his eyes

“No, you just want to tell me why you did it”

He was stone cold, maybe you hoped he’d react somehow, maybe a bit, maybe just a bit. And now he was just humiliating you even more. No matter the pain of being cheated on, he wouldn’t let you win that either.

In that moment you realised that your gut feeling was right, you should have just disappeared.

“Go on, how bad can I have been to make you decide it was better to fuck James Hunt?”

“You never cared about me”

It was dry as an answer, you hated yourself forn ot being able to express all you went through now that it was the time, his eyebrows shot up in disbelief and a bit of

sassiness. He was mocking you.

“Didn’t I?”

“No, not when you’re constantly dismissing me, telling me anything I say it is stupid or judging anything I do from your superior being. Anything I did was poorly done, or not the right moment or just not enough for you”

“You’re not stupid, but clearly you need to see everything through your heart shaped eyeglasses, right? You need confirms and words and speeches and big excitement. Well, go play the princess somewhere else, what I offered you will be the only true relationship you’ll ever have, and you know it. I never lied to you, I never cheated on you, I tried to better somebody that liked to stay as she is, that’s my only fault”

“I didn’t want to be somebody else, I just wanted you to care about something, anything that was not your job”

“So fucking around was a better choice to keep your ego up”

“No, but at least somebody would gave a fuck about me”

You snapped back immediately to him, you couldn’t remember the last time

you and Niki had sex, maybe a little shag in the middle of the night but it

felt more like trying to get rid of the tension to fall asleep.

He rolled his eyes like little he cared, his hands opening like you just stated what you had to do:get the fuck out.

That always hurt you: the fact that whenever he seemed driven to you, he would pull you into amazing kisses and heated love sessions but always at his time, his desires. If you ever leaned to kiss his neck or reach for him when he was busy or doing something more important, which was most of the times, he would shrug you off, literally closing the space between his neck and shoulder, stretching his back to get you away.

Not now.

Stop it.

Don't be like this.

You really aren’t good at picking timings, are you?

Those words hunted you day by day, you felt like he didn't need you, like anything you did was wrong, flawed, helplessly meant to annoy him one way or another.

You always seemed to organise dates in the wrong days, to wish to stay lazy at home on the wrong day, to pick the wrong moment, the wrong occasion, the wrong words, the wrong topic.

There were times you even woke up with him, you would sit at the breakfast table with him, not knowing if to engage a conversation or just trying to show him your support. You just wanted to see him even if you didn’t know if he would stay outside for the night or leave for some business meeting or whatnot.

But it was never worth it, it was never enough.

Every time you engaged him for confirms or any kind of formal commitment you always were out of place, out of time.

Your touches denied, no sweet words for your ears. You felt like a shadow beside him, you weren't there for the good and neither fo the bad. You weren't into his thoughts and not even into his hopes.

You grew detached from him, angry, you wished to hurt him even though every time you found yourself staring in his eyes you felt bubbles in your stomach and an happy feeling. A voice in your chest telling you how much you cared, how dear he was to you.

And yet , no fondness was reserved to you, no tender touches or gentle words.

It was just the bare minimum of a relationship.

So it felt natural, terribly natural that when somebody, it was James but you know anyone could have worked it out, gave you the backhand of attention you felt loved and blessed. Did your heart flutter when you saw him? Probably not, but he held your hand, he wanted to spend time with you, he stayed in bed after sex with you, he held you and not just dealt with you. You didn’t feel dumb every second of your day with him.

Because that's how Niki made you feel.

Like you were a burden and you'd gladly relieve him now from that, even if you never wished for it to happen this way.

Not reducing it all to the unstoppable drive of sex, your pain was discarded, once more.

You probably deserved it, you got it in the moment you admitted your weakness to him, the moment you slipped into some other man’s bed instead of facing him.

Or maybe, admit it, maybe you just hoped that he would lose control.

Just once, just one time he would have to put the rest aside and focus only on you.

"Now that you wasted some more of my time" he held the door open and waited.

You felt anger and sadness mixed up, the realisation that even now you couldn't win against him.

You'd never get your point across, you will just be the cheater and he would be right.

The loud slam followed your exit as your eyes dropped onto the couple of luggages belonging to you, all your stuff. You never realised it was so little.

You didn't feel like seeing James, let out friends and family that will give you random hypocritical phrases to cheer you up.

Maybe you'll go to an hotel, maybe you'll just leave.

You wished to change your name, change yourself.

The instinctive thought that crossed your mind made you gag, because for a moment, just a random malicious moment, you imagined how beautiful it could be to start from the beginning with Niki.

And maybe you won't do the same mistakes, maybe you'd be better.

James told you many times that you didn't have a reason to feel less than Niki, but the truth was that after hearing to be wrong, do wrong and act wrong, you begun to believe it.

And as you dragged your stuff t the car and drove off you begun wondering what life could be without Niki and while watching you and your little suitcases he wondered why you have such a small amount of things. He wondered if you have always looked so frail, he wondered if there will ever be an after you.

Or maybe, all hope was leaving with you, you were his Pandora’s box, a box full of all the feelings he prohibited himself to distract him and the hope was leaving with you, hidden tightly in the perfect cage of your chest.

Far from him, safer.

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