#like guys maria IS fucked up. she IS NOT a good person. shes as much of a criminal as the others

[cowgurrrl]

She’s A Gun

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: *John Mulaney voice* My wife is a bitch and I love her SO much (gif by @salome-c) I also didn’t know how to end this so sorry

Summary: Somebody didn’t give the new guy a heads up about talking about Joel Miller’s family [1.6k]

Warnings: idiots in love, a quick mention of a queer slur, I can’t think of anything else!!

You catch him looking at you across the room as you sip some new whiskey Tommy traded for. He looks young and fresh-faced without many scars or littering the surface of his skin. His eyes are bright when they meet yours, and you give him a polite smile before returning to your drink. Unsurprisingly, he bellies up to the bar a few minutes later. You glance at the door, and the man follows your gaze. 

"You meeting someone?" He asks. The bartender, a kind man named Nick, flashes you a look, but you wave him off, turning to the younger man, who is dead set on making his presence known. 

"You must be new." You say, and he laughs as he holds out his hand. 

"You got me. I'm Luke," He says. You meet him halfway and shake his hand, giving him your name. "Where are you from?"

"I came here from Boston."

"You're a long way from home. What brought you here?" 

"Long story."

"Is it longer than the time it would take to get you another drink?" 

"I can get my own drink, but thank you."

"'Course," he says but doesn't move from his place next to you. "What do you do here in Jackson?" He asks, and you open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. "Let me guess. School teacher. No, a nurse."

"I work patrols, but good guess."

"Oh, I'm going to work patrols, too. I actually just signed up for my first shift tomorrow. Speaking of which, do you know anything about this guy… Miller, I think, is his name. I heard he's a hard ass."

"Joel or Tommy?"

"There's multiple?" He asks, and you smirk as you sip your drink.

"There's a few of 'em hanging around, yeah. What did they say? Maybe I can," you shrug and try to hide the amusement in your voice. "Help you figure it out."

"Well, this guy, Seth, said Miller shouldn't even be in Jackson. Something about him killing people to get by before coming here, but he gets to stay because he's buddies with Maria. Apparently, he's a hell of a shot, though. I heard a rumor that he once shot an Infected from a mile away, but I'll believe it when I see it." He says, and you nod. 

You remember that day well. Tommy had been bragging about his marksmanship, mostly telling big fish stories, and you finally got sick of it. Joel told you to leave it, but you had to see. When you went on patrol the next day, you and Tommy had a competition to see how far he could actually shoot. You passed the gun back and forth to see who could hit accurately and how far. You were the one holding the gun when the Infected bound his way up the hill and quickly went down as the bullet buried in his skull. You didn't think that story would've made the rounds, though. 

"What else did Seth say?" You ask, and he puffs his cheeks out as he shakes his head.

"He told me to stay away from him. Something about not fucking with people like that because he's ruthless, especially when it comes to his kid. He said Miller yelled at him last week because he said something to her. Just... totally lost his mind like a crazy person." It wasn't just something. He called my daughter a dyke, you think to yourself. Joel may have pushed him and made him leave, but you threatened to ruin his fucking life. If you ever hear him say something like that to Ellie again, you'll make Joel look like the poster child for forgiveness. You bite the inside of your cheek and save that information for later. 

Seth wasn't warning Luke about Joel. He was warning him about you.

"And you're sure he was talking about a man?"

"Pretty sure. I mean, I know people do lots of shitty things to stay alive, but I can't imagine a woman instilling that much fear in a man like Seth," He says, and you hum. "No offense."

"None taken." You smile and watch his guard come down just enough for him to feel comfortable reaching for your arm.

"I wish I had known they let women as beautiful as you out on patrol. I would've signed up with you instead of Miller." He says, and you almost gag. Joel's hand skims your lower back almost as if on cue, and you turn to face him. He kisses you a second too long before looking over your shoulder to face the stranger who looks embarrassed. His arm wraps protectively around your middle, and he's close enough that you can smell his shampoo over the bar’s stench of stale beer.

"Great timing. This is Luke. He's starting patrols tomorrow," You say. Joel reaches across the space to shake his hand, and Luke winces at his too-tight grip. "Luke, this is my husband, Joel Miller," you wish you had a camera to take a picture of the stunned look on his face when he hears the last name. "Joel, we were just talking about the last time I was on patrol with Tommy."

"You're Miller?" Luke asks, suddenly looking pale. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, I thought I mentioned it. I'm sorry, I'm probably losing my mind." You echo Seth's words and smack yourself on the forehead dramatically. Luke drains his drink before glancing around the room.

"It was great to meet you, man. Um, I'm gonna run to the bathroom really fast." He says and takes several steps away from the bar. 

"Oh, so soon? I was hoping you and Joel could talk about routes."

"Maybe later." He says, and with that, he's gone. You smile and turn in Joel's arms to face him.

"Jesus, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. What did you say to him?" 

"Seth was warning him about the mercenary who's buddies with Maria and shot an Infected from a mile away, asked if I knew anything about the guy."

"Seth should learn to keep his fuckin' mouth shut." He grumbles, and you nod.

"It didn't help his case that he tried flirting with me. Even asked if I was a school teacher." You say, and he gives you a look. His warm fingers reach under your shirt collar to pull out the chain with your wedding band on it.

"Maybe if you actually wore this, that wouldn't happen so often."

"C'mon, everybody knows I'm yours. It's not my fault no one gave him the run down," you say, and he tugs on the chain to kiss you, his big hands moving to hold your jaw. He swallows your gasp when he licks into your mouth, sending a zing of electricity down your spine. He's a touch too handsy for a public space, but you're not complaining. "I don't see you wearing yours out on patrol either." You say, pulling away before he can start something he can't finish, at least not in public. Still, his hand slips into your back pocket, squeezing your ass through the denim.

"Don't want to lose a finger. Besides, everybody knows I'm yours," he parrots, and you smile. A familiar, old country song plays over the speakers, and Joel lights up at the first few chords. "Will you dance with me?" He asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw to butter you up. You lock your arms around his shoulders and let yourself forget about everyone else in the bar. 

"And to think there was a time when you hated PDA."

"That was before someone tried hittin' on my wife," he says, and you feel like your face will get stuck from smiling so much. It's been three months since the small backyard wedding officiated by Tommy and Maria. Ellie walked you down the aisle— more of a patch of grass than anything else— and acted as your maid of honor. When Tommy asked if she agreed to give you to Joel, she said, "it's not like she's fucking property, but sure." She beamed so brightly when she realized you each included her in your vows, promising to love and protect her as much as you love and protect each other. It wasn't planned, but the unexpected matching further proved that you three are a family. Still, you don't know if you'll ever get used to hearing Joel call you his wife. "Dance with me, please." He pouts into your neck, and you finally give in, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dance floor. 

He pulls you close, and you bury your face in his neck as you slowly dance to Tanya Tucker's voice. He sings along for only you to hear, his accent getting stronger as he does. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him and listening to him sing the same song you used to sing along to while driving on backroads. You would marry him again if you could. You think you would marry him in every lifetime.

Scary rumors of mercenaries and blood on your hands fade from your mind. To men like Seth and Luke, you are a subversion of their holy mother. You are bloody and broken, a monster beyond saving. You are a warzone with a heartbeat.

But to Joel, you are the most sacred thing he's ever held. It's not enough to erase the rumors and nightmares about you, but it's enough to knock the wind out of you and make you love your husband that much more. That has to count for something. 

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Tag list: @evyiione

[tan1shere]

Bent Over

Ellie williams x female reader !

A/n: YES ANOTHER AM SONG INSPIRED FIC !! but I was listening to teddy picker and the lyrics are just 🤌🏻 and I ofc had to do this with Els cuz she fits Arctic Monkeys the best

Summary: you have to go out for a small family dinner with your girlfriend, Joel, Maria, and Tommy.

Warnings: smut ! Mdni. Bratty reader ? The reader just doesn't give up on trying to tease Ellie. Soft dom Ellie yall !!! 🥰 (I'm so obsessed with soft doms oh my) sub reader, oral (r receiving) swearing ?? Orgasm denial - think that's it <3

Masterlist

You wouldn't consider yourself a very fancy person, but considering you and Ellie had only been going out for 4 months, it was probably about time you met some of her family. The flowy black dress that hug your curves was gorgeous, you had to admit but you weren't use to it at all. Even tho this was Ellies family she still wanted to dress right. She had a lovely suit on. Its one thing you loved about her, how comfortable she was. It's not that you didn't feel comfortable in this dress, you loved it. You hardly got to wear them. You just felt a little unusual. "You look-" Ellie couldn't find the correct words. Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning? She wanted to use them all quite frankly.

"Els you look even prettier." You say sweetly, going over, fixing her tie and her hair just a little. "Youre perfect." She blurts out. And thats all it took to ease all those nerves in you. You had made a plan not to drink too much tonight either. Lightweight was an understatement, one drink and you were gone. So you had to be careful you couldn't fuck this up. Especially when you could get a bit intense when you were drunk, even a little bratty. So it was a must that you didn't do that infront of them.

You and Ellie had arrived to the restaurant not too long after. Seeing, Joel, Tommy, and Maria already there and seated. "Sorry if we are a bit late." Ellie says apologetically, hugging Joel first. "We were just early kiddo, no need to be sorry." He says hugging back. "Well guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/n." She says motioning for you to go over. You give them a smile, giving each a polite hug. "It's nice to finally meet you." Maria smiles. "It's nice to meet you all too." You begin to sit down looking at the menu. "Ellie wouldn't stop braggin 'bout you, didn't even know if you were real." Tommy states, to which Ellie kicks his foot under the table. "Ow-" "But it's so good to finally meet you hun." Joel gives a kind smile. You return it but your attention turns to Ellies you could tell she wanted this to go smoothly.

The drinks were coming around, and it's not like you weren't going to have atleast one. Ellies mistake, which she was going to do was monitor it. When she soon saw how fast you were drinking on your second one her eyes widened, grabbing it and setting it down. "Slow down there babe." She whispers slightly, then giving you quite the look. You blink slightly, hadn't even realized the pace you were going at. Oops. "So Y/n, how long have you been living here." Maria asks, to which your beginning tipsy self, didn't hear. "Ehem." Ellie coughs out, bringing you to reality again. "Oh- pardon, uhm since I was about 2." You smile at her. "And have you always lived around here?" Tommy pipes up. "It differs, I haven't lived around here my whole life but different areas." You go for another sip of your drink.

That feeling started to creep up on you, and you hadn't really shown it. Making Ellie oblivious. But you had no control over your next move. Your hand moves to hers that's resting on her thigh, you go to grab it placing it on yours instead. Normal right? Until you smirk slightly. Your hand moves up, and up- "Ellie?" Joel inquires as she suddenly chokes slightly on her food. "Im good I'm good." She gives him a reassuring smile. "But you're not. - Y/n. Stop it." Ellie whispers in your ear, trying to get you to stop drinking anymore, you knew you'd hate yourself tomorrow. She looks at you, her whispering got lower. You just shrug. "Don't." She mouths. But that only made you want to do it more.

Next move was to put your own hand on her thigh, it flexes as soon as she feels it. She lets out an annoyed breath. "How's everyone's food?" Tommy then asks. "I love mine." You say in the most sickly sweet voice. This makes Ellie bite her cheek. "A word?" She begins to get up, grabbing your hand. "Excuse me, you guys. I forgot to ask her something before we left." They all nod. "Alright babygirl, take your time." Joel gives a sweet smile yet again.

"What the hell are you doing." She speaks, all too calmly for your liking, figuring she'd be more pissed off. You knew that's not how Ellie was. She never had to yell to get you to shut up. "Huh?" You think. "I dunno." You smile at her. "You just look so good Els." She scoffs slightly. "Behave." She goes to walk away. "Well maybe you should've kept an eye out." Her movements still, she doesn't say a word. Uh oh. You shut up for a second til her head turns. "Hey baby?" You hum. "Dont be surprised when you get bent over."

Your hands scramble to grip the couch. "I-" She tuts. "Nuh uh, you started this pretty girl. Why don't we just finish it." You go to sit back up but that was clearly no use. "This is basically your fault." You speak, voice muffled by the cushion. Her laugh echoes throughout your guys living room. "Oh, baby, baby baby. I wasn't the one making a fool of myself was I? Hmm?" You stay silent, unable to find the words, as you feel her hand come in between your thighs. Your mouth hangs open slightly. They squeeze together, making her hum. "I told you, but you were dying for it-" "No, i-" her finger slips inside your underwear, slipping into your entrance making you shut right up. "What was that?" Her tone was soft, but her intentions were definitely the opposite. "Nothing, I swear." You let your eyes shut, letting out a slight moan as her finger goes deeper.

"That's what I thought." Then all of a sudden her finger was gone. And just like that, she had you wrapped around her finger. You curse at yourself but it turned you on more how easily she could shut you up. It was hot nonetheless. You sit up, facing her now. Grabbing onto her collar and bringing her in for a kiss. Falling backwards her hands land beside your head, keeping her upright. The kiss got more heated by the second. You slowly begin to grind up into her, knowing she can't resist you. "God you're foul." She smirks against your lips. It only transfers to your lips, but wider. "Know you love me." She just shakes her head, that smirk never leaving.

Her hands pin yours above your head so effortlessly, keeping that kiss going. Until she moves to your neck, then lower. Reaching your cleavage. Her soft fingers go for the straps of your dress and pull them off your shoulders. They move down to the bottom, getting a good grip and tugging it off you. Your nipples harden at the cool air. Ellie bites her lip slightly. "This should be fun." That confused you tons. But oh boy were you not ready for what she had in store.

"Ellie.." You breathe out as you arch your back. "Hmm?" She was antagonizing you. The need to cum had been relentless and she denied it everytime. You were overstimulated to the max, making her enjoy eating you out for the longest time. "Do you know how much-" Suck. "I fucking love you and-" Suck. "This God damn pussy." Your head falls back at her words, her movements. "Ellie just please!" Your begging voice only turned Ellie on more. Her face comes into view. She gives you a fake pout. "But my baby, why should I?" Her smirk was evident and she was awful at hiding it. "Please Ellie just let me cum please." You finally felt slight tears at how desperately you craved it.

Bingo. "Alright, ok. I suppose-" You sit up so fast giving her a look. But it subsides as she almost pulls off all together. Your eyes turn pleading. "You can cum baby, I promise." And Ellie never, broke a promise. You let out a breath of relief as her tongue gets back to work. "F-fuck!" You scream out as you felt your most likely 4th orgasm of that night. But finally she was going to give you that relief. And God did her tongue do absolute wonders. She knew how to get you squirming. "Come on baby, I got you. Let go."

Your breathing was increasing, moans, whimpers were all that could be heard. "Ellie-" You gasp as you feel her fingers enter you. "You're so tight. Fuck." Her words only encourage you more. "Fuck, Ellie!" She hums against you, and youre seeing stars. "There you go good girl, cum on my tongue. Just like that." Your eyes flutter close as you finally do so. Feeling so worn out as you slowly come down from your high. There was some silence as she sat back up. "Gotta say. You were the yummiest thing I had tonight." She smirks down at your tired figure. You let out a dry laugh, having no energy but still finding her funny.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Els."

[mattsfavouritewhore]

Why Her? - Matt Sturniolo

a/n: this is my first fan fic so pls be nice, i made this keeping in mind i might make this a series thing so yes its a bit of a slow burn. Its pretty bad considering it is my first time writing something like this.

Summary: You and Matt have been best friends your whole life, sometimes even more then friends.. so when he gets a girlfriend, you make it your mission to remind him what he's missing.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, protected p in v and oral.. might make this a partly thing.

Matt x Female reader

One of the perks of having a birthday on October 31st is the amazing halloween party's you get to throw. This year, Nick offered to have the party at his place, you, Nick and Chris spent months planning and decorating for the best night of your life, (i mean it is your 21st birthday), as for Matt.. well he had decided to spend his time with his new girlfriend.... Maria. Nick and Chris hated Maria, it was obvious she was clout chasing Matt. She would always ask to be in their videos or post Matt to her social media. They'd only been dating for a few months so obviously Nick and Chris got suspicious when she'd ask so often. You'd never met her personally but anyone who was dating Matt was immediately dead meat to you. But tonight... you were going to meet for the first time.

Nick is currently updating you on the shit talking Maria does behind your back. "I mean she hasn't even met you yet it's all empty threats and boosted egos." You smiled lightly at Nicks comment. "We would much rather prefer it to be you than her." You let out a little giggle. "Let's just get ready to have a goodnight okay. Who knows what will happen tonight." While getting into your costume, you go over your plan in your head: look hot, get drunk, fuck Matt. It was pretty easy, Matt always fell victim to your flirtatious persona, he'd obviously fall for it tonight after seeing you in your corset and mini skirt.

After putting on the finishing touches to your costume, you take a few shots with Nick and not long after people started to arrive, soon enough people were piling through the door in their halloween costumes. Matt had stayed the night at Maria's the night before so he didn't come til a little bit later. Your nerves started to rack up while waiting for him to come so you and a few others did a couple more shots.

"Oh you guys are gonna get fucked up". Chris walked in wearing his Stranger Things inspired costume. "AWWW CHRISSY! YOU LOOK SO CUTE!" As you walk over to Chris you stumble over the floor "woah! looks like someones already a bit tipsy." Just as you look at Chris, Matt walks through the door with his slutty girlfriend. He's dressed up in an extremely attractive cowboy costume, the jeans hug his crotch while the button up flannel shows his chest in the right ways, clinging to his arm... she's obviously dressed as a cowgirl, but the jean shorts give her camel toe and the tied up flannel shows just how uneven her boobs are. You mentally scoff before smiling and walking over to them. "Matt! It's so good to see you" You clumsily walk over to him and hug him in a way that purposely creates tension between his crotch and yours. You back away and look at Maria, throwing her a fake smile. "You must be Maria, it's so nice to meet you" She looks you up and down before throwing a fake smile back "you too... happy birthday" You look back at Matt just in time to see his eyes rake over your figure. "Well you two have fun" Without saying anything else you walk off.

As the night progresses you continue to dance with your friends and enjoying your birthday, every now and then looking at Matt as he looks at you even with Maria by his side. You even made out with a stranger just to get him on edge. The time hits 3am, everyone's sung happy birthday and are slowly starting to leave.. but the house is still more than full with people. You've stopped drinking now but can still feel the alcohol in your system. As you hug some friends goodbye, you see Matt kissing Maria goodbye. You smirk knowing Matt will finally be alone. Matt quickly pushes past you going upstairs and into his room... it was obvious he didn't want to be alone with you, but like hell were you gonna let him get away with that.

"Didn't even say happy birthday to me" you pout as you walk into his room. "You don't need a happy birthday from me, why are you in my room." You can see he's putting up a fight in his head whether or not to make eye contact or not. "I haven't seen you in a while, you don't talk to me anymore." You were serious now. It hurt not talking to Matt. "I have a girlfriend now." You scoff. "So that means you can't talk to me?!" "We don't talk. We fuck. And I don't cheat." He was serious, but you didn't care. You sat on his bed. "Why her." "W-What?" He looks up at you. "Why her. Why not me. I know you better than any other girl, I know how to make you feel good. Why her." He didn't have an answer.

You look at him right in the eye, "What does she have that I don't." He didn't expect that question from you. His eyes opened slightly before returning to his neutral expression. You crawl closer to him "I mean, she's hot.. but I'm hotter." You stop crawling right in between his legs. "You're drunk." You perk yourself right in between his crotch. "I stopped drinking about an hour ago." "Let's get you to Nicks room." "I don't want to be in Nick's room, i want to be in yours." Your hands roam his thighs, his breath hitches as he watches your hands. "Why can't you want me the way I want you?" You were genuinely asking. Before he could answer you place yourself on his lap. "This is wrong" he whispers so close you can feel his breath on your lips. "Then why does it feel so good.. No one has to know, just us." You pepper kisses on his neck, his hands subconsciously finding you waist as his head flies back giving you more access. You pull away causing him to look up. "Take my clothes off Matt." Without a second thought his hands fly to the clips on the front of your corset undoing them all within seconds. As he throws your corset on the floor you start unbuttoning his shirt.

Once his shirts completely discarded you look at him, he obviously can't control himself yet you can see he's thinking about how this will affect his relationship. Your hands find their way into his curls. "One more time Matt. That's all i'm asking. That's all I want. And after this.... you don't have to talk to me ever again." He looks up at you, obviously disagreeing with your words but all he says is "okay, once and then never again." A ping of heartbreak hit you, he was willing to never speak to you again. But you push it aside and place your lips on his, slowly grinding against his jeans causing a wet spot to form. He flips you both over and discards your skirt and panties. He starts kissing down your body, in between your thighs, you gasp and grab hold of his hair. "Doesn't matter how many times we end up here, i'll always devour you." His words meant nothing to you now knowing after this, you wouldn't see him again. You push his head in between your thighs and he immediately pushes his tongue through your folds. "Matt omg- fuck" you begin to moan loudly, no one can hear over the music. He laps his tongue through your folds before finding his way to your clit, kissing it passionately, not long after you clench around his tongue.

He moves away abruptly causing you to whimper at the loss of contact. "If this is the last time, i want this to last a while, i need you to cum in me." His words sent shivers down your spine. He moves back on top of you unzipping his jeans. "Condom." He grabs one from his drawer before putting it on and quickly pounding inside you. He was eager. You immediately become a moaning mess, he kisses you to keep you quiet. "Fuck- taking it so - mmm- so well" He continues to pound in and out of you, the bed frame underneath moving with the movements of his hips. "M-Matt, I'm not gonna last" You feel your stomach tightening around him, your walls clenching him. He throws his head to your neck sucking on the skin to quiet himself. Your hands run through his hair, pulling on it lightly. "One last time. One last time." He starts chanting it to get himself off, tears brim your eyes knowing that he's looking forward to this ending more than it happening. "Matt i'm gonna cum" You push your hips into him causing one last enjoyable ride before the both of you cum in unison. He rolls over panting. You quickly put your clothes back on without saying a word. "Where are you going?" "You said one last time, never again." "That doesn't mean you have to leave." You look at him. "You didn't enjoy that. You didn't want it like I did. I'm better off out of your hair anyways." "cmon i did want it. I just.. Maria-" You cut him off "Why her matt?! I was right here! waiting for you. and you... you chose her." He didn't say anything so you left.

You weren't sober enough to drive home so you walked... you'd come back for your car tomorrow.

A/N: I know this is bad.. it's literally my first time writing something like this so I'll take any feedback i cant get lol.

[l44serbeam]

— PASS TIME ࣪𖤐 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings — swearing, insecurity, anxiety, blood, guns, smut, heavy make out, fingering (r!recieving), nipple play, softdom!ellie, hair pulling, hickeys, degradation (y/n calls ellie pathetic in a joking way)

Stuck in a abandoned pharmacy closet during a storm while on a patrol, Ellie seems to have some interesting ideas on what to do while you wait it out. these ideas lead you to believe that maybe she doesn’t hate you as much as you thought she did.

not proofread

There was one thing y/n had in agreement with Ellie Williams and that was that the two of them did not get along.

Whether it was being paired together on patrol and disagreeing on working methods or bickering over meals, the two just couldn’t seem to live in harmony.

It wasn’t because they were polar opposites or anything. On the contrary, the two were quite alike. Both carried an aura of intimidation and were known to be very good fighters. In reality, they had no real reason to have this dispute.

So when Maria partnered the two up for a two day long run to an abandoned town many miles out, not even an hour went by before they were both banging at her door.

“Its for the best. You two are my strongest forces and it’s a far place…” Maria began, looking away from them as she folded the blankets on her couch. “We’re running low on medical supplies and i don’t have enough people to spare to send a whole team. Plus, it’ll do you guys good to be out there with one another. Get to know each other maybe. End what ever stupid rivalry y’all seem to have going on.”

The two groaned and protested but Maria made it clear her pairing was final, no questions to be asked about it anymore.

“This isn’t some simple patrol y/n. No fucking around. Follow my lead, we don’t separate, and we don’t detour.” Ellie instructs sharply as the two rode down the forest, freshly leaving Jackson and preparing for the mission ahead.

“You talk to me like im not the one who was literally raised out here. If anything you should be following my lead.” y/n responded.

Ellie rolled her eyes and scoffed. “That doesn’t make you better. Just means more people were around to save your ass.”

“Then why am I here?”

“To make my life miserable apparently.”

Y/n sighed as her tongue poked the inside of her cheek. She seemed to almost be trying to contain herself, a desperate look of wanted to punch the girl on the horse next to her lingered on her face.

“Literally the only reason im on this run with you Ellie is because i am just as capable as you. So please, shut the fuck up and leave me be.” She retorted sourly, looking the opposite way from Ellie and into the trees. She didn’t want to deal with this now. The hollow, harmful words that they threw at each other.

Ellie turned her head the slightest, catching a glimpse pf her, almost slightly stunned at her response.

The two always argued, that was known, but it was never like that. The harshness and seriousness of her last words surprised Ellie, not being the usual sassy clap back she gave that Ellie could actually respond to. This time, y/n looked distant and out of it but Ellie decided to respect her wishes, looking back ahead and letting silence remain between the two.

The people that surrounded them always tried to recall why the two fueded, but no one ever could. It seemed like from the very first time they interacted, they just didn’t like each other. But, their “first” interaction according to those people wasnt truly their first interaction.

Y/n was brought into Jackson three years ago, scared and alone. Covered in blood and looking with eyes that seemed to shoot daggers at everyone. A team of people had come across her, running from three runners in a torn down office building. Once settled, she had been given a house next to Joels, being one of the smaller ones considering she was just one person.

For the first few days, y/n didn’t leave her house, taking advantage of the fact she hadn’t been assigned with a job yet and avoiding interaction with the public. The majority of the town still hadn’t even seen her since she first came in, rumors beginning to spread about who she was. Some said she had a face covered in scared skin, others said she was tiny and frail but her hands were stained a deep red with blood.

Ellie being the way she was, desperately wanted to know who she really was. She wanted to see this girl and figure out whether the monstrosities people whispered about her.

Y/n was awoken one morning by three heavy knocks on her door. She seriously considered ignoring them, groaning into her pillow as she stood up.

Could be important. She told herself. When she swung the door open, the girl that stood before her was unfamiliar. Unlike most people, she looked closer to her own age, being 17 at the time. The wide smile on her face faltered and her eyes widened when her eyes met with y/ns. Her hands flew up to the hairs sticking out of her bun and tried to smooth them back as much as possible.

“Um… Hello?” Y/n quipped, breaking the girl from whatever trance she was stuck in, her cheeks reddening and eyes rushing the the ground.

“Oh- Uh- Hi! Im Ellie. Your neighbor.” She began, pointing at her own home in the distance. Y/n nodded and gave her an acknowledging smirk.

“Im y/n,” She introduced, leaning against the door with her hand still on the handle. “Is there anything i can help you with?” She asked when Ellie returned to silence again.

“N-No not eaxctly. In all honesty i came by out of curiosity. Wanted to see if you were really like some murderous crazy person.” She laughed slightly, a strange pitting feeling in her stomach.

Y/ns eyebrows knitted together and her demeanor changed as she shifted on her legs.

“Why? Because im from the outside? So seems like since Im not from some fuck ass FEDRA base or some community im automatically a wild animal that kills people for fun?” She begins, clearly offended by Ellies comment.

Ellies eyes opened worriedly. “No no no. I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that thats what people have been sort of saying about you since no ones really seen you. Kinda cant blame them-”

“For titling me as some savage just because I was born outside their little bubble?”

“Im just saying you haven’t really given them much to work on. And its not like your the sweetest either.” She said, mumbling the last bit.

Y/n scoffed, stepping back into the house but leaving the door open, her hand still on the door knob. “You come to my house, call me a murderous crazy person, then try to justify it?”

“I wasn’t calling you that. I- I just meant i get why youve stayed home but you really havent gone out and last time people saw you was when you first came in and-“ Ellie hissed and raised her eyebrows, suggesting severity, “that wasn’t exactly the kindest sight.” She finished rambling, realizing it didn’t help in the slightest when her eyes fell on y/n.

“Ok you know what, fuck you.” y/n said, slamming the door shut and leaving Ellie wide eyed and red.

How could i have fucked that up so badly. Ellie asked herself frozen in guilt and embarrassment.

After that, Ellie couldn’t bare being around her and not feeling that turmoiling feeling in her gut. She automatically counteracted it with harsh comments and rudeness. Even when a few days later, y/n attempted to apologize, Ellie dismissing her with a rude comment and sparking another fight that solidified their dislike.

But after a year or two and one drunken evening where their bickering turned into borderline foreplay, the dynamic changed. The majority of times, their stabs at each other seemed to be laced with an igniting feeling and fiery looks at each other. People close to them had seemed to start noticing this shift, whether it was the devilish smirks on Ellies face or the way y/n seemed to gravitate closer and closer to her.

So now, when y/n had barely even looked Ellie in the eye and dryly responded to every comment thrown at her by the girl as the walked down the foreign towns roads, the map in Ellies hand and a knife in y/ns, Ellie couldnt help but feel a growing sense of concern.

Did someone do something to her? She wondered, anger stacking up at this imaginary person just at the thought of it

“The pharmacy should be up ahead. Joel gave me a side note to check back room closest and storage rooms. Most should be locked so they’ll probably have shit inside.” Ellie began, scanning her surroundings.

“If the rooms are locked how are we getting in?” Y/n asked.

“Lucky for us, i have a lock pick and 6 hours worth of learning from Tommy.” She says with a smirk. Y/n simply nods and keeps walking with precaution.

“Whats up with you?” Ellie finally voices, her tome coming out harsher than she’d meant it to.

“Nothing. I thought we weren’t fucking around so thats what im doing. Not fucking around.” She shot back. Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes.

“God you’re dramatic.” She mumbled under her breath.

Y/n scoffed a sarcastic laugh, suggesting her comment to be absurd, but she didn’t respond.

Suddenly, thunder boomed from the gray clouds above, the scent of rain invading their senses with the gust of wind that hit them.

“Shit.” Ellie hissed beneath her breath. “We should get to the pharmacy soon. Seems like it gonna be a bad one.” She finished, referencing to the harsh wind that rocked the trees and over grown vines around them, the sky darkening above them.

“We should pick up the pace.” Y/n suggested as she began jogging and Ellie trailed behind her.

As the two felt patters of rain fall on their shoulders, the jog became a run as the wind picked up.

“There!” Ellie yelled, pointing ahead of them to their left. As the two approached, they saw the busted out windows, the glass covering the ground around it.

They jumped through the glassless windows and unto the store. The two breathed heavily when they reached somewhat safety.

The pharmacy looked completely ran through, shelves thrown all over the ground and trash everywhere.

“He was right! Come back here Ellie.” Y/n yelled against the sound of the wind whistling. By this point, the weather had reached full storm level and the strength of the wind tunneled throughout the exposed pharmacy.

With the aggressive push of the wind on Ellies back, she ran to y/n.

“Fuck i don’t know how well i can do this while a fucking tornado is going on.” She yelled at y/n as she crouched before the door knob.

“Ill block you.” Y/n said as she stood behind Ellie, bringing her arms to lean on the door on each side of Ellie above her, y/n head near Ellies neck and the gusts of wind pushing y/ns front into Ellies back. How the fuck is this supposed to help me focus.

Ellie inserted the lock pick into the slot and began twisting and turning it, different clicks falling into place and the knob rattling.

Y/n couldn’t lie, but her apathetic mood almost slipped with Ellies proximity. As Ellies arms moved to undo the lock, her back muscles flexed against y/ns chest, the wind blowing her into Ellies neck, the scent of pinewood soap and the metallic sent of blood from the infected they’d taken down earlier.

“I got it!” Ellie beamed, shooting up to pull the door. The resistance of the wind made it particularly difficult to open, y/n grabbing onto the door through the little crack Ellie opened and helped her.

When it opened just enough, the two rushed in as Ellie gripped the door, letting it slam closed when they were in. The room was pitch black, the two utterly unaware of their surroundings.

Ellie fiddled with the knob and tried to open the door, her theory being proved when the door didn’t budge at her push.

“Guess were camping in here tonight.” She said as y/n clicked on the flash light. The two looked around and saw quite a few things they could bring back. Bulk packages of ibuprofen and other medications.

“Fuck yeah.” Ellie said, inspecting the items and making sure they weren’t broken open or contaminated.

y/n set down her bag and removed her sleeping bag from it, laying it on the ground.

“Think the horses will be ok?” Ellie asked, attempting to start conversation.

“Yeah they should be. I tied down the garage door pretty well.” She responded, grabbing amo and supplies out of the bag to clean and reload her gun.

Ellie sat down on the ground in the small spot that wasn’t covered by y/ns sleeping bag, her lip in between her teeth and eyes nervous, like she was resisting saying something.

Y/ns eyes flickered up from the gun to Ellies face. “What?” She asked.

“Why are you acting weird?” Ellie finally asked. “You’ve been super fucking offputish and like not talking.”

Y/n sighed and shook her head in almost disbelief. “I haven’t been acting weird Ellie. Were on a mission and im focusing on it like you said.” She repeated, making Ellie bite her cheek at the rising feeling of guilt . “And why do you even fucking care. You dont want me to be here and i dont want to be here. We dont have to pretend.”

“What do you mean i dont want you to be here?” Ellie asked accusatively.

“You’ve made it pretty obvious Ellie! Like for the past three years maybe!” Y/n said, putting down the gun and investing herself into the interaction.

“Why would you say that? I never said i dont want you here. Never.” Ellie retorted, putting a punctuating finger in the air.

“You practically do every day! You pick apart everything i do and make sure to insult me on it. I mean Jesus i cant breath around you without you telling me im doing something wrong!” Y/n began yelling, rising to her feet and towering above Ellie, her eyes going up all of y/ns body as they fell on her face.

Fuck. y/n thought. Her eyes. Her big, round, bright eyes looked up at her, her eyebrows knitted together and tongue cupping her teeth.

“You say that like you don’t do the same thing y/n! Dont act like im just some bully, this situation goes both ways!” She said, also coming up to her feet to match y/n.

“I do it because im not gonna let you just insult me and act like nothing happened! Im not going to let that slide Ellie so of course i argue back but thats because you start it!” Y/n said, punctuating her ‘you’ by aggressively poking Ellies chest, her wrist immediately being caught by the girls strong hand.

They’re eyes met one another, anger coating them. But, beneath, there was something else. Something almost animalistic.

“Stop fucking yelling at me.” Ellie said, her words bitter but tone almost pleading.

The closeness between the two finally seemed to settle in their minds. Y/n’s wrist still in Ellies hand, their fronts pressed together. Y/n could feel Ellies warm breath against her skin, igniting goosebumps all along her spine.

There was no way Ellie didn’t feel it too, she thought. There was no way that Ellie would let herself be in this position if she wasn’t feeling the same carnal compulsion as her. She wouldn’t be looking at her with the eyes she was.

“Make me.” y/n said, her actions turning to become beyond her own control.

A devilish smirk painted Ellies lips for mere seconds before she slammed herself into y/ns lips, the force so strong y/n back hit the wall behind her.

Their bodies flowed together violently, pushing each others hips back and forth against one another. The kiss was fueled with regressed anger and burning passion, tongues not waiting a second to collide.

Y/ns hands found themselves to grab onto the girls hair, nails scratching at her scalp as she hissed into y/ns mouth.

“You’re a bitch, you know that?” Ellie groaned into her mouth.

“You’re telling me?” Y/n responded, Ellies taking advantage and letting her lips trail down y/ns neck, latching onto her pulse point the second she felt ut and biting down, a breath of air harshly leaving y/ns lips as she felt Ellies thigh press against the place she wanted her most.

The lack of friction from layers of clothing made y/n whine as she tried to find some kind of it, grinding against Ellies leg as she made an attack on y/ns neck, leaving red marks in her trail that were sure to become purple within a few hours.

“Desperate aren’t ya?” Ellie litted.

“Fuck you.”

Ellie laughed, her teeth pressed cold against y/ns jaw. “Isn’t that what you’re trying to do?”

y/n rolled her eyes and pulled Ellies head back into a heated kiss, one Ellie cheekily smiled into. Her warm hands found themselves under y/ns shirt going up, dragging up y/ns shirt with it.

“This ok?” Ellie asked, y/ns frantic nods being her signal to fully separate and remove the shirt over y/ns head.

She looked down at y/n in awe, her tongue peaking out from between her lips and her cheeks reddening. “Fuck. i’ve been wanting this for so long.”

“Oh really?” Y/n responded as she brought her arma up to rest of Ellies shoulder, her own hands on y/ns hips, holding the two of their pelvises pressed together.

“Yeah, really. From the time you opened your door front door and yelled at me.” Y/n laughed at that.

“God you’re so pathetic.” She laughed as Ellies arms wrapped around her upper body and unclipped y/ns bra, slowly pulling the straps down her arms.

“Watch yourself. Just cause im gonna fuck you does it mean im gonna be nice.” Ellie said into her ear, shots of electricity flying down y/ns back.

Before y/n could say anything in return, her head flew back against the wall as she felt Ellies lips wrap around her nipple and her hands knead the other. Her tongue worked against it and she rolled her thigh up and down, an extended groan leaving y/ns lips.

She switched positions, paying attention to the other nipple and reciprocating her same movements,

Y/ns hand knotted itself in Ellies auburn hair as her lips seared her chest.

Ellies lips kissed up her breast, her neck and her jaw and fell into y/ns mouth, her hand crawling down and being met with the barrier of y/ns jeans.

“Can i get these off of you baby?” She asked into y/n’s mouth, her words rushed and desperate.

Y/ns hands came to the button of her pants and undid them, lowering them slightly and undoing the zipper. Ellies didn’t wait a second before dipping into the pants, the pads of her fingers pressing into y/n’s aching clit.

Y/n let out a lengthy moan as Ellie drew tight circles, her slick pooling in her panties. She mewled desperately, her hips grinding against Ellies hand.

“Shit- Please Ellie. More.” Y/n groaned, her head falling into the crook between Ellies shoulder and neck.

Ellie smiled smugly, pressing kisses into her exposed shoulders as she pushed aside y/ns underwear. “Whatever you want, pretty.” Ellie said, her middle finger running through her wetness, separating her folds and making a mess of her.

Ellie cursed under her breath at the feeling of y/n clenching around nothing, practically begging for her fingers.

Appeasing her wishes, Ellie sunk two fingers into her slowly, hooking her fingers to bottom out into the sweet spot that caused y/n to moan out into Ellies neck.

Gently, Ellie pulled put her fingers and pushed them back in, her palm hitting y/ns clit in the movement. She Ellie repeated her movements over and over, her free hand coming down from y/n’s waist and to the back of one of her thighs, lifting it from the ground and up to Ellies waist, giving her better access to hit y/n as deep as possible.

Y/n’s moans and pants made the hairs on Ellies neck stand. She couldn’t believe this. She thought shed utterly blown her chances from the second y/n first raised her voice at her, standing on her porch. Now, she was knuckle deep in her and cradling her body against the wall.

“Fuck Ellie don’t stop. Im close-” Y/n groaned.

Impossibly, Ellies fingers started to slam into her faster, the vibrations shooting straight to y/n’s clit and the tips of her finger repeatedly plunged against the spot that made y/n moan out in pleasure. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

Y/n legs began to shake, Ellie keeping her pressed against the wall and holding her up with her leg and hand. Ellie could feel y/n’s insides spasming around her fingers, her orgasm close and brimming.

“C’mon baby. I know you’re there.” She mumbled into her ear.

Y/n’s eyes squeezed tightly and her mouth flew open silently, her hand flying to Ellies wrist as a way of stabilization as her orgasm flushed over her like a tsunami. Wetness rolled down Ellies fingers, Y/n’s pants and underwear made a complete mess.

Once y/n’s breathing settled, Ellie removed her fingers from her and brought them to her own lips.

“Fuck. You taste good.” She whispered, kissing up her neck and into her lips.

She settles y/n’s leg down but still held onto her waist, her knees bucking the second she put weight on them, making them both laugh.

“I should change into the other pants.” y/n quipped, separating from the kiss.

“Yeah you should..” Ellie said almost dismissively as she pulled y/n down to lay on the sleeping bag, flipping over and placing herself on top.

“Whenever im done with you i mean.”

a/n: heyy babes! my bad i said i was gna post this last night but i got a little too high and fell asleep at like 5pm and forgot to post it 😭😭 also i got carried away with added backstory and setting so i hope you enjoy my beauts. Also wanted to giv a big thank u for the positive feed back on Tired of You!! part two is gna be out on sunday for any of you guys reading this that are waiting for that too!!

[saintadeline]

I need bloodborne fans to stop acting like its not blatantly misogynistic. And i mean yes of course dudebros are gonna be like that but i mean like the leftist and usually socially aware bloodborne fans. I promise you you dont have to keep licking fromsofts boots like that and you can still enjoy a game and say it is good/a masterpiece while criticizing it for what it does. If it was their only game sure id give some of it the benefit of the doubt re: "is this societal critique?" but if you look at literally all of soulsborne (and especially er but thats not surprising) you can tell it's more than simply a pattern. I feel like bloodborne is both particularly blatant about it while also being in a way that makes you wonder if it was meant as social commentary (hint: its not, at least mostly not. If it was trying to be, then it fell back into its own trap), in dark souls the misogyny is easy to see because of the roles of all female characters but bloodborne is inherently about (cisgender) "womanhood" (aka about periods and birth...) and especially motherhood so its harder to pin its misogyny down as "portrays women as inferior". But thats not the end all be all of misogyny, guys. I understand how easy it is to see it under that light but i can tell you that much, bloodborne is not the #feminist game some people try to pretend it is, a game who so harshly relies on "the horror of womanhood" as something alien as well as making Mother the highest status a woman can attain is... Not the peak of feminism. It is not a feminist take to have female characters "find meaning and comfort" in forced motherhood. We are not socially to the point where "women are allowed to be mothers" is a revolutionary opinion, it kind of feels the same as "let women be feminine" arguments to me lol. No shade against anyone in particular by the way im just speaking my mind about things ive seen a lot everywhere. Idk i think a lot of people can agree arianna's entire storyline is shitty as hell Because its the most blatant about it so why can we not analyze every other female character that way. Can we not see that annalise being portrayed (although take that one with a slight grain of salt because the narrative is biased against her for actual ingame political reasons and not just misogyny) as an evil mastermind whos sole role is to become a mother through ordering her pawns to bring her um. Well. Dubious substance. Kind of fucking sucks. And the entirety of her character revolves around her (lack thereof) motherhood. Name me one CANON actually ingame thing about her that isnt "the church treats her as evil" and "she has to be a mother". The doll too, i mean what can i even say about the doll, her entire thing reeks and in a sense in a good way? Because youre meant to be uncomfortable with the way gman treats her yes and i agree thats not a bad thing. But what sucks about her character is the fact her only two options in a storyline are to keep the same, chained to keep doing your bidding and watching over you, or to be forced into a role of motherhood. Because she cant be her own character, she has to revolve around you the player. And theres more for each character really but ill be here all day if i keep going.

However, its one thing to have a media be very misogynistic with its themes. And like sure man whatever i actually dont care That much. Ive gotten used to it and i wouldnt be playing and enjoying the game if it was really a complete turnoff for me lol. What really bothers me here is the fact fans will regurgitate the same, and most oftentimes even worse, misogynistic takes, either because they hold the game so high up in their esteem and cant even imagine it to have any flaws, or because they simply dont get it and did not ever look into it that hard or think about it. Of Course the reddit type cishet male gamers are gonna be stupid about female characters as they always are but i dont care ive made peace with that, once again im talking about people who like. ARE socially aware and dont do shit like this on purpose. Im talking about stuff like the way people treat adella, both versus alfred and as a standalone, im talking about the way people keep adding even more misogyny to the game thru their theories in places it wasnt even there before ??? (fauxsefka pregnancy theory anyone?) Its the nature of fandom that this kinda thing keeps happening always but idk its been pissing me off a lot more lately when its from people i know have good opinions otherwise. Bloodborne never was feminist, fromsoft never was "queer as hell" on purpose. You can stop lying to yourself about it its okay you can enjoy media that kind of suck and yes its ok to say bloodborne kind of sucks. Its my favorite game and the best game ever made to me and i will still say it. Make it better in your mind yeah!! Im all for fixing media i do that!! But we dont need to act like the game itself is revolutionary about it

Can i say something controversial. Would you forgive me

[romanarose]

Joel Takes a Strap

Written for Married Joel sits on you 2024 by the amazing @beefrobeefcal !!!

Joel Miller x trans!reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

Summary: Joel takes a strap.... send tweet.

Warnings: sex toys, praise, body worship

Immersivity: Reader is trans and able bodied. Reader has had top surgury.

A/N: promt via Beef, must include this line "Marriage had been good to Joel. His mental health and financial stability had improved, and he seemed over all a happier person. The only drawback seemed to be the effect it had on his waistline."

A/N 2: My taglist is back!!! follow the link to join <3

Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

It was a life few people really understood. Jackson was pretty open minded, considering there were bigger things to worry about than gay shit. Still, in 2003 someone being trans was pretty much the punchline to a joke if you knew what it was at all. So, when a transman came to Jackson, it wasn't exactly the warmest welcome.

Joel would like to think he'd have always been kind and welcoming. Maybe not the friendliest guy, but still. Joel didn't care what anyone chose to do to themselves, but he thought of Ellie. He thought of how she'd been treated at the tipsy bison that night, and Dina, Joels now-daughter in-law-... he wasn't able to be a safe person for her to come out to during that time but he wanted to be safety for someone else.

He had no idea you'd become his safe place as well.

Joel wished he could have been there for Ellie to come out the way she was ready to, but then things turned around. He'd repaired their relationship in a lot of ways, and now... now she was the one he came out to when he started seeing you. The ceremony had been small, little JJ as the ringbarrer.

Marriage had been good to Joel. His mental health and relation ship with Ellie improved and he seemed over all a happier person. The only drawback seemed to be the effect it had on his waistline.

This, however was not a drawback to you. When the world fell apart, if someone had an ounce of fat on their body, they were called obese, torn apart on the covers of grocery store magazines... but you saw Joel's weight gain as something beautiful. It meant he was safe. He was relaxed. He wasn't on the run. He was yours.

And you got a surprise for him.

You had made sue to clean it, and clean it good... but you had found a strap on while out, and were ready to use it on Joel. Joel was more inclined to top, but that didn't mean you didn't take control sometimes. He regularly takes several fingers up that cute-but-flat ass of his, and today you'd prepped him well, making sure to add lots of vasiline to the strap to ease him.

Now, Joel Miller had his legs spread across your lap as you sat on the edge of the couch, covering above your strap.

"You don't gotta do nothing you don't wanna." You reassure him.

Joel shakes his head, murmuring as he looks down. "It ain't that... I just don't wanna crush yuh, s'all."

You can't help smile at that. "You won't Joel. I love feeling you on me, l love the weight. You're fuck'n perfect."

And he smiles at that. Soft, but he smiles.

So you tease him. "Better take it now, I know Maria wants a turn for Tommy."

Joel visibly cringed at that, but laughed and the tension was gone from the room. Joel was happy, you were happy, and he had the support of his family. What everyone else thought didn't matter.

When Joel sinks down on you, feeling the weight of him push you into the couch cushions, you can't help but smile and feel his hands grip your shoulders.

"Good boy..." You praise the old man whose boyhood was far behind him. "Take my cock... just like that" If Joel was a boy, the strap is your cock. Who cares. In moments like these you can forget all the horrors of the outside world, forget reality.

"So fucking hot..." Breathy, Joel praises you back as he takes the whole strap up inside him. His hand goes to your chest, palm paying no mind to the surgery scares. "My handsome husband."

"Mmmmm... My handsome husband..."

Joel begins to move up and down, bouncing on you, his thick thighs working hard as he fucks himself. His cock slaps against your stomach. "Wanna make you cum too... how does... does that w-work?" You can see him bit his lip, pleasure filling his body.

You take his hard, leaking member in your hand, stroking him after you spit.

"Don't worry about that. We'll figure things out as he go, right now i just want you to focus on feeling good, Joel. Can you do that for me? Be my good boy and cum?"

Joel nods, a little curl falling on his forehead that is begining to sweat.

"yeah, I can do that... I can feel good... your cock feels good... I can feel good."

You love when he gets like this, lets go and lets his subby inner nature come out.

"I bet you can, Joel. I know it."

Thank you all so so much for reading!!!!

Want more trans content?

I wrote About a Girl which is Joel and tranfem reader and You'd Love me if I was a Worm, Would You Love me if I was A Man? which is reader transmasc reader coming out to santi and Big Boys Dont Cry which is trans reader AND trans santi

I hope to write a santi and trans reader series soon

How to keep up with my work?

Follow @romana-updates

ask to join my taglist

join my tumblr community

follow me on ao3 @romana_rose

Love you! hope to see more from Beefro's event!!!

[tightjeansjavi]

Slow Hands | Chapter 7

“the losin’ touch, the waiting game”

A/N: so originally this was not going to be a super long chapter, but I felt like a lot needed to be said and boy, was I right. This is another angsty one, but I promise there will be more development of Joel & Beanie’s relationship coming in the next chapters!

Summary: Joel faces punishment for his violent actions towards Lucas. Tensions rise when Joel makes some accusations that test Tommy’s loyalty towards his brother.

~word count: 8.3k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! reader

Warnings: angst, family arguments, bigotry, picking favorites, punishment, tension, trauma responses, alluding to depression, explosive anger, resentment, violence against an animal (not depicted but there’s enough detail for assumptions to be made) mentions of a bullet wound, deprecating negative thoughts, mild gaslighting, unknown motives, mixed emotions, making up, starting over, soft Joel!, protective! Joel, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions (skin color/body type) readers nickname is Beanie (coffee beans) +18 minors dni!

main masterlist series masterlist playlist

“Joel, do you know why the community that Tommy and I have built here has been able to thrive for so long?” Maria inquired her brother-in-law who was presently sitting across from her and Tommy. In short, Joel was brought in for questioning after Lucas showed up to Doc's home a few nights back with his broken wrist and a layer of skin missing from the side of his face where Joel had it shoved against the stone wall.

Word had traveled fast through the community, and Tommy clearly didn’t have his brother’s back.

Joel was irritated to say the least. He was hurt by his brother, hurt by Ellie, and by you. He knew you didn’t have the intentions to hurt him, and he couldn’t hold it against you, but man, did it sting.

“Because you don’t condone violence amongst community members.” He gruffly responded under his breath as he crossed his arms over his chest. His jaw was clenched under the sunlight peeking through the windows as he grinded his teeth together.

“Exactly, so what do you think happens when someone in our community acts out violently?” Maria mirrored his actions as she leaned against the bar countertop with a deadly serious look on her unamused face.

“For fuck sakes, Maria. You ain’t have to lecture me like I’m a goddamn kid. Jus’ fuckin’ reprimand me for my actions and get on with it.” He snapped.

“Don’t talk to my wife like that, Joel. Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” Tommy chimed in as he stood up from his chair but Maria held her hand out in a stopping motion, giving her husband a warning look.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ. You’re actin’ like I killed the guy! I broke his wrist and roughed him up a bit. You both realize I could have made it so much worse, right? What the fuck else was I supposed to do? You saw the emotional state Beanie was in after Lucas grabbed her! Y’wanna reprimand me for doin’ what I feel was the right thing? Be my guest, but I won’t sit around here another fuckin’ minute while you lecture me for it.” Joel threw his hands up in the air frustratingly. He didn’t like to be put on the spot, especially by his own family.

“You’re off patrol for two weeks. You are not authorized to leave your house under any circumstances. Tommy will bring you your meals. If you demonstrate good behavior, then I’ll allow you to return to patrol before the two weeks are up.” Maria spoke calmly.

“You’re forcin’ me into fuckin’ isolation? Wonderful. Ain’t like I don’t already know what that feels like on a personal level.” He grumbled under his breath as he stood up from his chair in a haste. He had nothing left to say to either his brother or sister-in-law, and even if he did, it would have fallen sharp on his tongue from the anger that was simmering in the pit of his stomach like a kettle on the stove just waiting to boil over.

He didn’t even pay attention to the sound of the bar stool scraping behind him as he shoved open the bar door on its hinges before storming out. Tommy was right behind him, calling his brother’s name as his palm came to rest along Joel’s shoulder.

“What the hell is the matter with you, Joel?!” Tommy hissed under his breath as the older Miller brother whirled around to face him with a stern look.

“You didn’t even bother to fuckin’ defend me, Tommy! What the hell happened to havin’ each other's backs?! You knew exactly what I was gonna do! Don’t stand there lookin’ at me like that as if you wouldn’t have gone and done the same if it was Maria havin’ a fuckin’ panic attack on that goddamn bathroom floor!” Joel snapped as he yanked his shoulder from his grip.

“Defend you?! What in god’s green earth would I defend you for?! You assaulted Lucas! Every goddamn person saw you drag him into the alley, Joel! This has nothing to do with Beanie, and everythin’ to do with you tryin’ to be the bigger man! For fuckin’ what? To burn some steam off?! Lucas grabbed her arm! He didn’t grab her in a malicious way, Joel!”

“Oh, so that just fuckin’ makes it okay?! You’ll defend him but not your own goddamn flesh and blood? So be it.” Joel spat as he jabbed one of his fingers directly in the middle of Tommy’s chest. “Y’know what I fuckin’ think? I think you’re a goddamn pussy, Tommy. I don’t regret what I did, and I’d fuckin’ do it again in a heartbeat. So don’t even bother bringin’ me my meals. I don’t want to fuckin’ see your face.” His voice cracked as tears pricked the corner of his eyes. Tommy could see his finger trembling as his brother struggled to keep his composure.

“I never fuckin’ said that it makes it okay, Joel! Did those words leave my goddamn mouth? No. If you would just let me fuckin’ finish? Lucas shouldn’t have grabbed her. He had no right to touch her, but Jesus Christ, did you really have to go and break his fuckin’ wrist for it?” Tommy sounded exhausted and on the verge of defeat.

“If I didn’t go out there and teach him a lesson, then no one would. If that kind of behavior goes unpunished, what kinda message do you think that sends to the community?” He was awaiting Tommy’s answer but when he didn’t receive one, he scoffed under his breath and turned on his heel to head home.

Tommy did agree with him. That kind of behavior couldn’t go left unpunished, but he couldn’t argue with his wife and her judgment on the situation. He was between a rock and a hard place when it came down to taking his brother’s side, or his wife’s. Joel’s behavior had to be addressed, but what of Lucas’s and Seth’s? Was he really about to let bigotry fester like an open untreated wound in his community?

“Joel..” Tommy uttered in an unsure tone.

“What?” Joel muttered back in a bitter gnawing tone.

“I’m sorry.” Tommy wanted to say more. He should have said more, but he couldn’t find the words.

“No, you ain’t. You ain’t sorry for shit, Tommy. Couldn’t even defend your own goddamn brother back there? Fuck you. I’m done here.” Joel snapped before he walked off, leaving Tommy in the dust.

Tommy was going to have to swallow his ego one way or another, he was going to have to swallow it and not throw it right back up. So that’s exactly what he did, he swallowed down his pride with one hefty gulp before he walked back into the Tipsy Bison where Maria was still standing in the same position she was in previously before Joel had stormed out.

“Maria, we oughta think about this whole situation through a lil’ more rationally. I ain’t sayin’ we shouldn’t reprimand Joel, but takin’ him off of patrol for two weeks ain’t the way to go about it.”

Maria raised an eyebrow in her husband’s direction with a tight shake of her head. “So, Joel throws a hissy fit and you then decide to take his side? Tommy, he assaulted Lucas. He broke his wrist. He’s lucky we aren’t fucking throwing him out of town. I could have easily exiled him, but felt that was too harsh of a punishment to instill on my brother-in-law.”

“Maria, I hear you, but what about Lucas’s actions? Seth’s? If we’re gonna punish my brother, we should punish them as well. You and I both know I’d never let you throw my brother out. Don’t even bring somethin’ like that up.” He warned her with a disappointed tilt of his head.

“How do you propose that we reprimand them? It would be unfair if their punishment was as severe as Joel’s. Neither of them acted out in a violent manner, Tommy.” Maria attempted to reason with him.

“Maria, with all due respect, Seth called Ellie and Dina a homophobic swear. He harassed them in fuckin’ public. You and I did not witness the way that he grabbed Beanie. No one did because they were in the corner outside of the bathrooms. He claims all he did was grab her arm, but how are we to know for certain?”

Maria let out a sigh as she dropped her arms at her side. She did not enjoy disagreeing with her husband, but it came with being a leader. If Joel goes unpunished for his actions, what kind of message does that send to the community? On the same token, Seth and Lucas’s behavior was unacceptable as well. “Okay, let's meet in the middle on this issue then. Joel is off patrol for 1 week and he’s on house arrest during the evening. Lucas and Seth will be on septic tank duty for that week.”

“I don’t think it's wise for us to take Joel off patrol at all. Maria, he’s one of the most able bodied men that we have. Takin’ him off patrol could put the town at risk. I’m jus’ sayin’ that I personally don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“We have more than enough able bodied men on patrol, Tommy. One week without Joel isn’t going to be detrimental.”

Tommy let out a sigh as he shoulders slumped forward knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to convince her. Maria was pretty damn hard headed when she needed to be. “Alright. I ain’t gonna argue any further. I’ll let Joel know, but after he’s cooled off a bit. He was practically steamin’ out there.”

It was Ellie’s suggestion that her and Dina go and check in on you. It had been days since you left your home since the incident at the Tipsy Bison. You were practically rotting away on the couch in the same spot that Joel left you. Still dressed in the same clothes, with the cup of tea he made you left untouched on the coffee table. You watched the sun rise, and fall each day. You heard the birds chirping outside the window, and the buzzards singing their song, but you did not move. It was as if you were dead from the inside out. Your skin felt filthy after being unwashed, and you could faintly taste copper along your tongue where you had chewn the fleshy bit of your cheek to ruin. Your cuticles were torn with crusted blood along the edges. You welcomed the pain with open arms. You couldn’t even recall tearing your nail beds to shreds.

When you heard the faint knocking at your front door your head just barely turned to acknowledge the sound. You could hear two familiar voices just outside the open window where the cream colored curtains billowed softly in the breeze.

“Hey, Beanie?” Ellie called. “You in here? It’s jus’ Dina and I. Can we come in?”

No answer.

“Well, it’s rude if we just barge in there, El.” Dina whispered.

“It’s been days since anyone has seen her, Dina. We gotta make sure she’s alright.” Ellie whispered back.

You blinked slowly at the clicking sound of the front door being opened.

“Beanie?” Both girls softly whispered amongst each other as they stepped inside.

“In here.” You croaked. Your throat felt raw and rubbed dry like scratchy sandpaper. Was it not just days ago where you had moments of wanting to kiss Joel? Now look at where you lay.

“Oh, Beanie..” Dina trailed off as her and Ellie discovered your curled up frame on the couch.

You diverted making eye contact as the two teenagers approached. Kindness felt so foreign to your skin.

“Have you been laying here all this time?” Ellie asked as she lowered herself along the edge of the coffee table.

You meekly nodded in response.

Your sullen eyes slowly flitted up when you saw the look that Dina and Ellie gave one another. It was the look of concern, not pity.

“Can we help you up?” Dina softly asked as her hand reached out to gently touch your arm.

“No.” You whispered as you turned your face into the pillow.

“We gotta getcha out of the clothes and into a bath or somethin.’ Can’t just let you rot away like this, Beanie.” Ellie was so much like Joel that you would have believed that she really was his own blood.

“Please don’t touch me.” Was all you could muster out as Dina slowly retracted her hand.

Dina and Ellie opted to sit with you instead until Ellie grew curious when she noticed your record collection on the nearby bookshelf. “Y’mind if I take a look at these?”

“Knock your socks off, kid.” Well, at least your humor hadn’t shriveled up and died in some hole too.

Ellie didn’t need to be told twice as she pushed herself up from the coffee table and padded over to the bookshelf. She was extremely careful as she flipped through the records. “Woah, Stevie Nicks? What I wouldn’t have given to see her live.” Ellie murmured softly.

“She was incredible. Saw her for the first time in ‘87. I was just a teenager then. Stevie always had somethin’ special. Grew up listening to her along with Zeppelin, Queen, Depeche Mode, just to name a few.” You mumbled as you slowly sat up from the previous fetal position you had been in.

“Holy fuckin’ shit. You saw Stevie live?!” Ellie lit up like a goddamn firefly as she set the record down gently.

“Kid, I've seen them all live. The 80’s and 90’s were a time to be alive. My friends and I went to as many live concerts as we could. Traveled around the country at one point in an RV. Totally tried the whole groupie thing for The Rolling Stones. I may or may not have kissed Mick Jagger at one point. He was definitely way too old for me, but as a teenager I could have given two shits.”

“Oh my god, you kissed Mick Jagger? Beanie, you swear you ain’t makin’ this all up?” Ellie and Dina were both immediately drawn into your past as you recalled memories being a teenager back in the day.

“I swear on my parents grave, I am not making this up. Back then concerts weren’t all that expensive, and my parents were pretty big hippies so I had a laid back childhood and upbringing. They were always playing music in the house and took me to my first concert when I was 10, and from there the rest was history.”

“Do you have any pictures? I love Depeche Mode. I listen to them on my walkman frequently.” Ellie stated excitedly.

“I’ve got what’s left of the pictures I salvaged after outbreak day. They’re upstairs. I’ll go and get them for you girls.” Suddenly the world didn’t feel like it was weighing down on you like a bag of bricks. Your lungs breathed in a hefty gulp of fresh air, and it no longer felt like you were drowning in an endless sea. It had been years since you brought up your past, but to see both Dina and Ellie show genuine enthusiasm and curiosity? It sent a warmth simmering up your spine.

It didn’t take very long for you to find the box of pictures inside one of your dresser drawers. They were a fair bit dusty and faded, but they instantly brought back wonderful memories that you clutched so tightly to your heart. You shared the same giddy excitement as the two teenagers on your couch as you brought the pictures downstairs.

You sat comfortably between Ellie and Dina as you went through each picture in vivid detail. You were Texas born and raised, and you were damn proud of it. Your parents were the definition of peace, love and happiness. They raised you with goodness in your heart and harmony in your soul. You learned to share your space with simple living things. You always had a soft spot for animals with the dream of becoming a veterinarian from the day you could walk. Turns out, you couldn’t stomach blood very well so Vet school was out of the question. This didn’t deter you from saving every injured creature that would cross paths with you.

The yearning to own an establishment came later in life. At first you thought about opening an art store, apothecary, nursery, or even a bookstore. Coffee was one of your favorite pleasures, and that’s how cuppa smiles came to be. That was the beauty of life at its core. You could wake up one day and decide that you didn’t want to be the person you were presently. You could change your looks, your wardrobe, your aspirations and hope that you got it right this time around.

“Hey, Beanie? Would it be alright if I kept this picture of you?” Ellie asked. The picture was of an 18 year old you. It was graduation night and you were in the back of some guy's pickup truck with a bottle of cheap champagne in your grasp. Your smile was bright and full of life. Eyes wild, filled with mischievous as you grinned at the camera. You were the epitome of beauty. A woman who had made it, and had her whole life ahead of her.

“Sure, you can keep it. I haven’t looked at these photos in years, so it’s nice to see them getting some attention. Is there a specific reason why you wanna keep that one?” You asked with genuine curiosity.

Ellie turned, looking at you with a knowing smile as she held the photograph gently between her fingers. “You just look beautiful and happy.” She murmured with a shrug. Little did you know..Ellie had all the intentions to pin the photograph up on the fridge at Joel’s right where he could see it every morning, and every night.

“It was graduation night. I was absolutely drunk out of my goddamn mind in that photo. It’s a miracle I didn’t fall out of the damn bed of the truck. That dress I was wearing was a real killer too. It was my favorite.” You looked over at her with a small smile tugging on your lips.

For the rest of the afternoon you told the teenager’s more stories, played a few albums on your turntable. Suddenly, taking a shower didn’t seem so terrible anymore. Ellie and Dina gave you your privacy as you bathed, but they stuck around to keep you company through the approaching evening hours.

For a moment that voice inside of your head was muffled, gagged by kindness and unable to lash through it with its sharpened claws. One night of peace seemed a hell of a lot better than none.

Whenever Joel was feeling particularly stressed, he would turn to the domestic comfort and safety of his woodworking shop that was tucked away in his shed behind his home. He did have a little workspace upstairs in his room. His shed was like his own personal safe haven. He could escape there for hours while his hands crafted something beautiful. The same hands that could break a man’s neck in one swift movement could also be held steady while he carved intricate details. Antlers for a moose, swift hooves for a mustang, delicate ears of a doe. Hands that could bruise, and hands that could heal. Hands that clutched a knife and held a life between his weathered fingertips. Hands that grasped a gun like it was an extension of his body. Hands that would tremble, hands that were bruised, torn, broken. Hands that could hold your face so tenderly, so softly as the rough texture of his thumbs brush your tears away.

The rain was softly pattering along the roof shingles as he was working on his newest piece. It was two horses nuzzling in an affectionate way. It was Tex and Tess. He was working on the wispy strands of your mare’s mane when he heard footsteps slowly approaching the small space between the open door. His undamaged ear zoned in on the exact movement as he deciphered who it was. It wasn’t Ellie. It wasn’t you..so that narrowed down his choices immediately. Based off the distinct sound of hesitation, Joel knew it was Tommy and his demeanor already shifted as he tossed his chisel into the nearby toolbox before crossing his arms over his chest with a gruff sigh.

“I come in peace.” Tommy reassured his brother as he gently pushed open the shed door with his shoulder.

“Y’sure about that Tommy? You ain’t come here to rub salt into the wound?” Joel muttered under his breath, nostrils flaring slightly. He was still pretty fucking pissed off at his brother if it wasn’t obvious enough by his body language alone.

“No, i’m here cus’ I was able to get through to Maria on decreasin’ your punishment.”

“Wow.” He huffed, “It’s a fucking miracle.” He deadpanned with a tight shake of his head. “Y’tell her it’s a fuckin’ stupid idea to take me off patrol?”

“Well, I was able to convince her to decrease your punishment to one week off patrol instead of two. I tried to tell ‘er that it’s a risky decision to take you off patrol, but she wouldn’t listen.” Tommy responded as he sank down into the chair nearest to the door.

Joel scoffed as he jaw clenched tightly. “Listen, I respect your wife, Tommy. I’m all for women’ bein’ in leadership roles, and she’s done a damn good job keepin’ this town safe, but she’s got some poor fuckin’ judgment right now. I give it one day before someone gets their head blown off out there.”

“Joel, what the fuck else was I supposed to do, huh? You’re fuckin’ lucky she didn’t decide to throw your ass out.” Tommy bit back.

“She’d be a goddamn fool if she threw me out. She jus’ wanted to make an empty threat so you’d be an obedient husband. She never wants to admit when she’s fuckin’ wrong. Whatever, I'll eat my goddamn punishment with a smile on my face.”

Tommy rang his fingers through his hair with a sigh as he sank back into the chair. “Yeah, well I personally think Lucas and Seth are bein’ let off easy for their actions. They’re gettin’ a week on septic tank duty.”

Joel turned in his chair fully as it scraped across the ground. He let out a full on belly laugh as he shook his head. “Fuckin’ septic tank duty?!” He hissed. “Y’gotta be fuckin’ jokin.’”

“I ain’t.”

“Lucas has a broken fuckin’ wrist! How the hell is he gonna do shit? Not to mention he’ll jus’ find a way to get out of it. Seth is jus’ an old racist n’homophobic fart. He’d rather drop dead before he takes a punishment.” Joel could feel his blood begin to boil at the distaste towards Maria’s choice of punishment.

“Joel, I know you ain’t a fan of Lucas cus’ of how he grabbed Beanie, but you’re gonna drive yourself mad holdin’ a grudge like this. Seth is your stereotypical dickhead, and if I had the authority to kick him out myself? I would.”

“It ain’t have anythin’ to do with Beanie, Tommy.” Joel was quick to snap back. “I don’t trust the guy. Y’remember when we found those bodies in the woods? He barely blinked an eye! He’s got the whole goddamn town wrapped ‘round his finger just cus’ I broke his poor poor wrist. He’s like a snake, i’m tellin’ ya!” He spoke exasperatedly without a care in the world if he was making some wild accusations. Accusations were only false until evidence was presented to turn that false claim to be true.

Joel watched as his younger brother scrubbed his hand down his face with a roll of his shoulders. “Jesus Christ, Joel. Do y’hear yourself right now?! Fuck. Y’can’t be goin’ n’makin’ these wild accusations without any evidence to back it up! Look, I ain’t a huge fan of the guy either, but I ain’t gonna be wavin’ my finger around like you are.” He shook his head disappointedly.

“Course you ain’t. Why don’t ya jus’ go’n turn a blind eye like everyone else then. Go ahead and be a fuckin’ sheep, Tommy.”

Tommy breathed in deeply through his nose with his eyes squeezed shut. He knew that Joel was smart. Smarter than most of the community would believe him to be. Joel also wouldn’t go and make wild accusations without having valid emotions set behind it. If Tommy was going to prove himself to be loyal to his brother, then he was going to have to start making those tough choices now.

“Alright, lets jus’ calm down here for a second, alright?” Tommy tried to reason with him.

Joel was dead silent as he leaned his weight against the chair with a stern look crossing his weathered features as he waited for his brother to continue.

“If you’re suggestin’ that y’wanna start keepin’ tabs on Lucas’s whereabouts, you better have a damn good plan at not gettin’ caught. Cause if this whole thing goes up into fuckin’ flames? Y’know I ain’t gonna be able to defend you without a solid amount of evidence. I’ll take the bullet for ya, but you better give me a damn good reason to, Joel.”

“That’s exactly what i’m suggestin’, Tommy. Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe I'm losin’ my mind, but somethin’ about him ain’t sittin’ right with me. If I'm proven wrong, there won’t be a bullet for ya to take.” His tone was much softer now as he un-tensed his shoulders and jaw.

“Alright. Y’do what you gotta do, but don’t let anyone, and I mean anyone, figure out what you’re up to.” Tommy declared in a serious tone as he pushed himself up from the chair.

“Thank you.” Joel murmured.

“For what?” Tommy asked with a slight raise of his brow.

“For havin’ my back.”

“That’s what brothers are for ain’t it? Jus’ don’t make me regret it, Joel.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Tommy responded with a slight nod before he was slipping past the shed door and into the steady rhythm of rain.

Joel sank back further into his chair as he faced his work bench once more. He gently blew off a bit of wood dust that had settled along Tess’s delicately carved forelock. He worked on the sculpture for hours into the late night until he inevitably fell asleep at his work bench with the soft pattering of rain to lull him into slumber.

Maria was eating her words after one day of not having Joel on patrol. Cody was grazed in the shoulder by a stray bullet that was shot at point range from the nearby treeline. Raiders, no doubt. This one was just a scout, but a skilled one. Not as skilled as Tommy, who ultimately took him out.

Maria dismounted from her horse as Tommy was checking the body for any clues. Any information that would lead them to the raider camp. His search was fruitless. Unrewarding as he crouched down along the bloodstained earth with a sigh. His eyes narrowed in on where his bullet was buried in the scout’s temple, right between his eyes that were now staring up at the dove gray sky, cold and lifeless for eternity.

“I told you it wasn’t a wise idea to take Joel off patrol.” He muttered under his breath as he stood up straight.

Maria ignored her husband as she stood over the body. “Are there others?”

“No. Jus’ the one. That ain’t to say that this one didn’t come from a camp. Most likely was a scout.”

“I thought they would have moved on by now. What the hell are they sticking around for?” She asked with a shake of her head. As far as she was concerned, the raiders should have moved on by now. What was their purpose for sticking around? There weren't nearly enough of them to devise a plan of attack on the town.

“No clue. What I will say is that we’re gonna have to patrol the area more frequently. Expand our routes in every direction. More importantly, Joel is back on patrol startin’ tomorrow.” He leaned in close to his wife as he spoke. This wasn’t him asking for her permission, this was him telling her.

Maria didn’t argue with him.

Joel was back on patrol the following morning. He remained neutral with his sister-in-law. He felt no reason to be smug, especially when he was trying to keep a low profile on himself. It did come as quite the surprise when Maria showed up on his doorstep to personally ask him herself. Now, he was back in the saddle on Tex with the strap of his rifle resting across his shoulder as he rode next to Tommy.

It was fairly quiet as Tommy mapped out the next patrol routes to take. Tex and Timber were as quiet as two mice as their sturdy hooves flattened the earth beneath them. There were no alarming signs of raiders. No danger that could be detected as Tommy placed a marker down at the midpoint. Joel had eased Tex to a halt as he leaned down and gave him a gentle pat on his jet-black neck. His eyes zoned in on a rustling in the tall wispy grass. He noticed fur and white spots as he carefully dismounted. Tommy was half paying attention to his brother as he was scribbling something down on the map.

Joel had slowly crouched down as his hands gently pushed apart the tall grass. There he found a tiny fawn, not more than a day old, curled up in a protective position with only the tips of its tawny colored ears visible. His face softened as he gazed at the innocent creature. He wondered if its mother was nearby. He knew that fawns were often left in a safe area while the doe would search for food. He was just about to stand up when the wind direction shifted and the stench of death attacked his senses.

“Holy fuck.” Tommy stated in disbelief as he was standing over the fawn’s dead mother. At first he thought this was the work of wolves or another predator, but this was man. The poor creature was butchered in a disrespectful and heinous way. Both brother’s had butchered many game animals for meat, but not in the way that would send a grown man buckling to his knees and retching the contents from his stomach. The doe’s body was mangled to say the least. The details were too gruesome for even Joel or Tommy to describe.

“Wolves?” Tommy asked in an unsure tone. He knew the answer.

“No. Wolves wouldn’t kill like that. This was man’s work.” Joel grimaced.

“A warning?” There was a sharp edge to Tommy’s tone as he leaned his weight back into the heels of his boots.

Joel kicked at a patch of torn up grass with the toe of his boot. “Can’t know for sure, but it’s a possibility.”

Both Miller brother’s attention diverted to movement in their peripheral vision as the fawn had hesitantly crept out from the tall grass. Its legs were still a bit wobbly with each step it took towards Tex and Timber. Both horse’s were gentle and curious as their heads lowered towards the tiny, defenseless creature. The fawn’s coal black nose nuzzled against Tex’s before it collapsed to the ground with a squeak.

“We can’t leave it out here to die, Tommy.” Joel sighed as he placed his hands on his hips.

“What the hell are we supposed to do? Take it back with us? Joel, it’s a goner without its mom. Jus’ let it meet its fate.”

“No. It’s innocent. Jus’ barely a day old. It doesn’t deserve to die out here alone or god forbid get torn to shreds by wolves. I won’t stand for it.” Joel muttered as he approached the fawn once more. The poor thing was trembling as it tried to escape between Tex’s front legs.

“Hey, easy there little one. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” Joel softly spoke as he shrugged his flannel off his arms. “You’re alright. You’re safe. M’gonna take care of ya.” He cooed as he gently brought the flannel around the trembling creature and scooped it into his arms. The fawn struggled for a moment as it cried out for its dead mother. Joel continued to soothingly speak to it while his fingers gently stroked the top of its delicate furry head. Once the fawn recognized it was no longer in danger, it settled in Joel’s arms and soon fell asleep as it was ridden with exhaustion and malnourishment.

“Where are ya even gonna keep a fawn, Joel?” Tommy asked as he mounted back onto Timber with a huff.

“Dunno. Maybe I can make a pen or somethin’ next to Tex’s stall. I’ll figure that out when we get back.” He gruffly spoke as he used his free arm to mount back into the saddle. He was careful to not jostle the fawn too much as he held it securely with his freehand clutched around the reins.

He tilted his head downwards in a somber motion towards the fawn’s deceased mother.

I’m sorry, my dear. Man can be so cruel. So unforgiving towards Earth’s innocent creatures.

The tidings of a new morning kissed your skin like dew drops along a flower petal. You were so grateful for the company of Ellie and Dina. They had shown you unconditional kindness that came purely from their souls. Now you have two new friends. The three of you would become as thick as thieves. Until then, you were back in your shop with the door propped open to welcome in the fresh late spring breeze. Summer was on the horizon in a day's time. You decided to spruce up a little to get your mind off Joel and how you dismissed him on your couch after the incident. Your heart hurt as your mind replayed the image of his hurt stricken face as he slipped past your door. The night was so perfect, too perfect. You knew you’d see him again, but when? Under what context? You couldn’t blame him for not seeking you out. You never meant to hurt his feelings and of course he knew that, but your heart still stung. Why couldn’t you just be normal?

You were drawn away from your present thoughts when the bell dangling along the door chimed. Your heart skipped a fucking beat as you immediately assumed it was your Joel. You were already subconsciously checking your appearance in the mirror along the wall when you heard someone clear their throat. Your face fell mildly for a moment when you turned the corner. It wasn’t your Joel; it was Lucas, with a visible bandaged wrist.

“Hey, Beanie.” He waved with his good hand as a lopsided smile spread across his lips.

Your eyes zoned in on his bandaged wrist as he approached the countertop where you were presently standing. When did that happen? How did that happen? Who broke his wrist? Did..Joel have something to do with this?

“Lucas? Hey, how are you doing? I uh–wasn’t expecting you to drop by.” You calmly spoke as you nervously played with your fingers behind your back.

“Could be better. Nice place y’got here. I shoulda stopped by sooner. What’s your speciality?” He gestured to the chalkboard menu above the countertop.

“Lattes. Any flavored latte really. Would you..like one?”

“Sure. Surprise me with the flavor.” He shrugged as he looked around with an unreadable expression on his face. “I’m sure you’re wonderin’ why I stopped in today, huh? I just wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night. I had no intentions to send you any mixed signals, Beanie. If I was coming across in a suggestive way, I am very sorry.” He apologized in a calm and collected manner as he stood a few inches from the countertop.

“Oh, it’s alright. I suppose I should apologize as well for the way that I reacted? I’m just..not used to people reaching out and grabbing me like that. I am sorry for causing a scene. I know that you didn’t have any ulterior motives. Was the way I reacted a direct result in the cause of that bandage around your wrist?” You asked quietly as you grabbed a mug for the latte.

“My wrist?” He chuckled then as he leaned his elbow against the countertop casually. “You could say that. Your guard dog has himself a bit of a temper. S’a good thing it was a clean break. Scraped my face up pretty good too.” He responded in such a casual tone that you couldn’t help the slight chill that rolled down your spine like a dripping faucet.

“Im..sorry? My guard dog? Are we talking about Joel? He broke your wrist?”

“Darlin’ who else would act that way? Yes, it was Joel. Cornered me in the alley and shoved me against the wall.” He tsked under his breath with a sigh.

“Lucas, I'm so sorry. I swear, I had nothing to do with that. I didn’t tell him to go and break your wrist.”

“Beanie, s’alright. He’s a violent man. Probably woulda killed me with his bare hands if he got the chance. Anyway, I jus’ wanted to make sure I cleared the air with you first and foremost.”

Your stomach felt slightly queasy as your fingers trembled out of sight. You weren’t naive. You knew that Joel had killed numerous people in order to survive for this long. You held no judgment towards him. Everyone had to kill at some point in order to survive. Why would he act in such a manner if he no longer had to function in survival mode? Joel’s violent outburst towards Lucas wasn’t sitting right with you at all. You could feel your heart rate increase as you clutched your chest with a shaky breath.

“I’m–i’m sorry he did that to you, Lucas. I appreciate your apology, and I accept it.” You stuttered out as you nearly spilled a bit of coffee on your hand while you were handing him the mug.

“Like I said, it’s alright. Don’t go and worry your pretty little head over that violent Joel Miller. Thanks again for the latte.” He was looking right into your eyes now as he took the mug from your trembling hands. He stepped back from the counter followed by a tip of his imaginary hat in your direction. “See ya around, Beanie.” He left through the front door of your shop moments later and disappeared down the street.

You were left frozen on the spot as you used a rag to wipe away the stray dribbles of coffee from the counter. Your hands were still trembling as you busied yourself with more cleaning.

Joel would never. He wouldn’t.

Oh, but he would.

He did.

Why would Lucas lie about his wrist?

Joel is a violent man.

It's in his nature.

He’s dangerous.

Unpredictable.

A ticking time bomb.

And you’re a fool if you think otherwise.

Maybe that nagging voice inside of your head was right. Maybe Joel wasn’t all you believed him to be. This was about to be put to the test when his familiar scent wafted in through the open door. You heard his boots scuff along the wood flooring as the bell chimed above his head. He was holding something in his arms. You couldn’t tell what it was, but by the flushed expression on his face, whatever it was held a sense of urgency to him.

“Beanie.” He breathed out as he held the bundle in his arms close to his chest.

“Joel.” Your response was meek as you stepped around the corner of the countertop.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. Couldn’t leave this poor baby out in the wilderness to die.” He murmured urgently as he approached.

“Joel, what are you talking about?” You asked with a hint of caution laced in your tone.

“This..fawn. Tommy and I were patrolin’ and I found it in the tall grass. Its mother was..killed by wolves presumably. I couldn’t just leave it out there. It’s barely a few days old.” He spoke softly as he gently pulled back the flannel to reveal the tiny fawn’s head. Its big brown eyes stared up at you with thick black lashes. The fawn showed timid curiosity as it sniffed the air for any immediate threats.

“Oh my goodness.” You whispered in disbelief as you peered down at the innocent creature.

How could a man be so violent, yet be tenderly holding a fawn in his arms as if it was fine delicate china that would shatter from the slightest touch.

It made your head spin.

“I ain’t got a single clue how to take care of it, and there's no tellin’ if it’ll make it through the night. Can..you help me, please?” He looked into your eyes, pleading silently.

“Joel, of course I'll help you. It's probably starving. Why don’t you..sit down and i’ll get some milk. Hopefully the poor thing will drink it.” you murmured in a hush tone as you disappeared behind the counter. There was a fridge in the back room that stored milk, cream and the occasional snack or two. You grabbed the small bottle of milk and a bowl before returning to the front area. Joel was sitting stiffly in one of the chairs as the fawn laid comfortably in his lap. You took the seat across from him with the bowl and milk bottle sitting on the table before you poured a bit into the bowl. “Here, put a bit on your finger and see if it’ll nurse.”

He slowly looked over at you before he nodded and used his free hand to dip one of his fingers into the bowl. The fawn was already lifting its head towards the familiar scent of milk and when Joel slowly lowered his finger towards the fawn’s nose, it immediately began to nurse. Joel stilled in his seat for a moment as images of a baby Sarah nursing from a bottle in his arms surfaced through his mind. She was so tiny. A silent tear rolled down the cavern of his cheek as the fawn sucked the few drops of milk from his finger.

“Joel?..”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he went to brush the stray tear away.

“Joel, what..happened after you left the bathroom?”

God, she knows. She knows and now she’s afraid of me.

You watched as he inhaled a sharp breath before his eyes slowly flitted over to yours. He held a steady contact before he finally spoke.

“I did what I felt was right. It’s not alright for anyone to go and grab someone like that. He had no right to touch you, Beanie.” He breathed out.

“And you had the right to break his wrist?” Your voice trembled slightly as you watched the way his face fell.

“Beanie, I–couldn’t jus’ let him get away with that. I only wanted to protect you.” He tried to reason with you.

“Joel, I never asked you to protect me. You can’t just go and break people’s wrists just because they touched me. Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?”

“You never had to ask. It comes naturally to me. Look, I've already been punished for my violent actions. I couldn’t leave it alone because you were a wreck. I came into the bathroom and you were thrashing like a goddamn fish in Tommy’s arms. You wouldn’t even let me get near you for over ten minutes. Don’t you remember? Honey, you were in fuckin’ shambles.” He nearly whispered as his voice cracked.

“I–I don’t remember, Joel. I don’t remember any of it.” You could feel the tears begin to brim along your waterline as your fingers trembled in your lap. “I..was that bad?”

“Beanie..you tucked yourself between two sinks with your back facin’ Tommy and I. My intentions were to just..rough him up a bit. He didn’t even know what the hell I was gettin’ on him for. He acted like he had done nothin’ wrong. Look, if you hate me now, and you ain’t want nothin’ to do with me, jus’ please save it. I’ve endured enough pain in my life. Jus’ rip the bandaid off if that’s what you gotta do.”

“What?” You looked over at him with tears freely rolling down your cheeks, mirroring his own. “Joel, I don’t hate you, I just didn’t understand why you did what you did. I wish that I remembered what had happened so that I could wrap my head around this whole thing. Lucas came in here about twenty minutes ago and told me what happened. He also apologized for how he acted, and then he left.”

Hell had suddenly frozen over in Joel’s world when you recounted Lucas having the nerve to show up to your shop and apologize for his behavior. Joel knew he had to remain calm despite the temperature of his blood skyrocketing. Lucas was here. He was in your shop, and Joel was not happy about it.

“Beanie, S’alright that you don’t remember what happened. I don’t wanna end up triggerin’ your memories or nothin.’” He sighed softly as he thought about the careful choice of words he’d have to use when discussing Lucas. “Lucas was here?..Well, I'm glad that he apologized. Is that all he said?”

“Joel, it’s not okay that I don’t remember. I can’t fucking recount anything after the moment he grabbed my arm. It’s all a blank screen in my mind.” Your tone alone gave away how frustrated you were as you vigorously wiped away your tears. “He–said that you’re a violent man, and that I shouldn’t worry my pretty little head about it.” You whispered the last bit out as your eyes drifted down to your trembling palms that were resting in your lap.

Joel bit down on the inside of his cheek hard enough that he could taste copper along his tongue. He swallowed hard as he tried to calm his nerves. How dare he. How dare he try and turn you against him. What was this little conniving snake trying to stir up now?

“He’s right. I am a violent man.” He muttered under his breath. “I’d be a fool to sit here and try to lie to you, Beanie. I’ve done some godawful things in the name of survival, but I'd never hurt you. I’d never grab you like that. I’d never cross those boundaries. Beanie, please jus’ be careful, okay? Please.”

“Joel, I know you’d never hurt me. I don’t care that you’re a violent man. Who am I to judge you? Everyone has had to kill to survive. I’m no saint either. Look, neither you or I can go back to that night. I wish I could. I wish I could reverse the clock because I was having such a good time with you, Joel.” You looked over at him with glassy eyes as you sniffled softly.

“You..don’t care? Do you truly mean that, Beanie? I was having such a wonderful time with you as well. I’m sorry that I allowed myself to act upon violence. I should have jus’ stayed in the bathroom with you and Tommy. Should have stayed with you.” His head dropped slightly in mild defeat.

“Joel, of course I mean that. I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for pushing you away when you tried to comfort me on my couch. You were just trying to help and I pushed you away..”

“Sweet girl, you don’t have to apologize for a goddamn thing. You needed space, so I gave it to ya. You know your body best. I wasn’t gonna try’n force you to let me stay. Last thing I wanted to do was make you uncomfortable.” He murmured sincerely.

You wanted to laugh through your tears when he called you sweet girl. You weren’t anywhere near the age of a girl anymore, but it was still a thoughtful gesture that you appreciated more than you realized.

“Can..we start over? Can we put this all behind us?” You asked hesitantly as your hand slowly reached across the table.

“Course we can. There ain’t anyone here that can tell us that we can’t. Clock’s still goin’ but that doesn’t mean we gotta stick with the times. We can go at it at our own pace. Whatever we’re comfortable with.” He reassured you as his hand that wasn’t occupied with the fawn reached towards you across the table.

Your fingertips brushed before they interlocked in a gentle squeeze as you both fell into a moment of silence.

“What do we name this little one?” He asked softly as he dipped his free finger back into the bowl of milk.

“Bambi?” That seemed like the obvious choice given the circumstances.

“Nah.” he murmured with a boyish grin. “How about Beanie number 2?”

“How original.” You mused with a soft smile on your lips.

“Or what about Honey? Pretty sure it's a girl.” He shrugged.

“Honey. I like it.” You murmured as you squeezed his hand gently.

“Y’hear that, Honey? We’re gonna take care of ya. Remember that horse you were nuzzlin’ on? That’s Tex. He’s gonna be your protector too. We’re gonna make sure you have a good life, alright little one?” He spoke so softly to the innocent creature that gazed up at him like he had crafted the sun for that fawn with his bare hands in his toolshed.

How could a man be so violent, yet so tender.

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[melodygatesauthor]

Worth the Risk - Part 1: The Dishwasher

bfd!Santiago "Pope" Garcia X f!Reader

Series Masterlist - AO3 LINK

Summary

You're visiting your home town on college break and you are staying overnight at your best friend's house. You never realized how attractive her dad was until that night. You wonder if he feels the same.

Tags/Warnings

NSFW, forbidden relationship, reader is in her 20s, best friend's dad!Santi, Santiago is a dirty man y'all, not much else to say, smut, depraved, corruption kink

Word Count: 3.7k

Also, this tied in with a request from @romanarose <3 thank you bb for requesting!

“It’s been so long.” You said, wrapping your arms around your friend tightly.

You took in her smell, so happy to see her again after so much time had gone by. It had only been a few months, but it felt like years sometimes.

“I know!” She yelled in your ear before pulling back to look you up and down. “How have you been?”

You sighed, “I’ve been pretty good, wanted to make sure I came to see you for the night before going back to school.”

“I’m sorry about Cody.” She gave you a sympathetic look.

“It’s fine I-” you started, but then you caught her father out of the corner of your eye.

“Hey…!” Mr. Garcia said, coming up behind Maria with a smile 

“Hey Mr. Garcia.” You said, wrapping your arms around him.

“How long is it going to take for you to start calling me Santi? Or at least Santiago?” He smirked. “You make me feel old.”

“You are old, dad.” Maria said, chuckling. “Come on, let’s go to my room.” Your friend grabbed your hand and tugged you along.

Goodness you’ve grown, Santi thought, watching you run off with Maria. Over the last couple years, since you’d started going to college, your schedule didn’t line up with the times Maria had been at his house, and he hadn’t seen you in a long time. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

Maria’s room hadn’t changed since you last saw it. It was still pink and bubbly, matching her personality perfectly. You always thought she had the coolest window, fit with a reading nook and big sheer curtains. You sat down on her bed, dropped your duffle bag on the floor, and she went to her desk, opening her laptop. She put on some pop music in the background and then turned to you.

“So, spill it, what happened with Cody?” She asked, giving you a devilish smirk. “Tell me all the dirty details. I wanna know how you fucked him over.”

You rolled your eyes. “I already told you over the phone. He cheated on me.” You sighed, “can we please just not do this right now? I…I don’t really wanna talk about him. He’s a loser.”

“With his ex? What’s her name?” You watched her open a browser and get onto her social media account.

“I really don’t want to do this Maria, can we just forget about it? Please?” You begged.

She looked at you, her eyes said she was ignoring your request to stop and wanted you to tell her anyway, but eventually she gave up, closing the browser.

“You’re so boring. Fine.” She groaned. “So other than that, what have you been up to?”

You told her everything you’d done over the last few months. You talked about your parents, any cute professors you had, and new friends you’d met. The conversation moved on to her talking about a new guy she met at her school. She’d stayed more local than you had, but you were only a few hours away. She then told you about how she was madly in love with him before she got on talking about how annoying her father could be.

“You know how he is. When the guy came over for dinner the other night dad got all, you’d better take good care of her.” She scoffed. “He’s such an old man.”

“He just worries about you.” You reminded her. “And he’s not that old. My dad is old.” You chuckled. “Your dad is like forty.”

“Yeah.” She said looking at you incredulously, “old.”

“Girls! Come on down, it’s time for dinner!” He called up.

You followed Maria down the stairs and to the kitchen. Santi always made the best meals when you would come over during your high school days, and now was no different. You sat down to his right and thanked him for dinner, a soft smirk spread across his lips. You took a sip of your water.

Santiago tried to keep his eyes on your face, but your tank top left little to the imagination. Weren’t you too young to be dressing like that? No, of course not, you were an adult now. His throat bobbed when he gulped, blinking and trying to peel his gaze away from the beautiful way your breasts pushed together. Were you even wearing a bra? Did he forget to turn the heat up?

“Dad?”

You saw Santi visibly jump when he looked over at Maria. Had he been staring at you? You didn’t realize until you looked up and thought you’d seen his eyes on you. Heat rose to your cheeks.

“Yeah baby?” He asked, raising his eyebrows toward Maria.

“Can you pass the butter?” He sucked in a deep breath, “yeah, here you go.” He handed it to her. “So…” he said your name, “Maria tells me that you’re going through a breakup?” He raised his dark brows when he looked at you.

“Um…” You felt awkward talking about it in front of him. You didn’t know why she always had to make your business everyone’s business. “Yeah. I’d rather not talk about it though.”

“Those boys your age are the worst. Trust me.” He bit into his food, and you did the same.

You smirked, “yeah, I think the next guy I date should be someone older. I’m sick of boys.”

Santi almost choked on his food, having to remind himself to chew before he swallowed his piece of steak whole. He passed a glance at you, your eyes met. You could see what was happening. It had never occurred to you, having an interest in your best friend’s dad, but he was very handsome. You licked your lips before breaking eye contact and looking back down at your plate.

Maria took the conversation away, going on about her new business class, which she hadn’t had a chance to tell you about earlier. Neither you or Santiago were listening. You were thinking about this weird feeling you had. You’d never thought about him like that before, but now you were remembering all the times you’d seen him at the pool, or coming out of the shower with nothing but a towel around his waist.

Mr. Garcia…

At some point during the meal, you looked over and noticed Santi looking at you, and you quickly looked away, not sure what he was looking at you for. There was no way that he felt the same, right? This was just a silly crush forming, nothing serious. This was one of those things that young adults did right? It was just foolish.

You gulped down some more water, trying to clear your thoughts, but then clumsily dropped it on the table, and the water trailed off into Santi’s lap.

“Shit.” You muttered, grabbing your napkin and quickly rushing over.

You had been so worried about the fact that you spilled the liquid on him, that you didn’t think about how inappropriate it probably was to be patting your friend’s dad’s thigh. Santi was in shock, sitting there immobile at your quick hands patting over his lap in repetition. His thoughts were dirty, filthy even. You were so sweet, not realizing the effect you had on him at that moment.

All at once you felt the heat rise to your cheeks and you dropped the towel in his lap.

“I’m-uh-I’m really sorry.” You stepped back, finally realizing the awkwardness you’d caused.

“No it’s…” He caught your gaze with an intense stare. “It’s fine.” His eyes lingered on yours for a second too long before he looked back down at his lap. “I’m gonna go change.” He dropped the towel on the table.

“Mr. Gar-I mean, Santi, I’m really-”

“It’s fine, it’s just water. Maria, clean up please.” He stood up and rushed away quickly.

He ran to his room and slammed the door behind him, pressing his back to the wall. His breathing was staggered and heavy. He locked the door and unbuttoned his wet pants. When you’d spilled the water and then rushed over, pressing your hands and towel to his thigh, you’d brushed up along his cock. He always thought you were a pretty girl, but he also always stopped it at that. Any further thought would have been downright inappropriate.

He couldn’t help himself now though. He pulled down his boxer-briefs and jeans and stepped out of them. His cock was aching, standing erect, already leaking from the head. His hand fisted around it. You’d hardly touched him, but then again, it had been so long since he’d felt anyone’s grip besides his own. He spit into his hand, lubricating his palm so it would glide over the length of his member. For a second he thought about you, and how much he’d love to feel you-

“Fuck.” He said to himself alone.

He removed his hand from himself, and stood there for a while letting his cock soften. He couldn’t go on thinking like that. He couldn’t possibly imagine himself jerking to completion at the thought of his daughter’s best friend. Yes, you were an adult, but you were so much younger than him, it wasn’t right. He couldn’t bear what his daughter would think\ if she found out. She would hate him. Not to mention, a girl like you, who looked the way you did, probably wouldn’t even be interested in someone like him, nevermind the fact that he was your friend’s dad.

“I’m gonna go check on him.” Maria said to you when Santi had been gone for quite some time. “Do you mind putting the dishes in the dishwasher? You can come up to my room when you’re done.”

“Yeah sure.” You said, starting to clear the table.

He was changed and in the hall by the time Maria came up. He asked where you were, and she told him you were loading the dishwasher. All too eagerly, he trekked down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. He was prepared to tell you that you didn’t have to finish and you could go right up to hang out with Maria, but when he saw you, or rather, your prominent rear, he couldn’t speak.

You were bent down, the bottoms of your cheeks were peeking out through the hem of your shorts. He ran a hand over his mouth while he stared shamelessly at you. The work he’d done to focus his cock into softening was all for nothing now. You were really testing his self control.

When you spun around, you saw Santi standing there. He jumped nearly five feet when you saw him, and you did the same. You grabbed the kitchen counter and breathed heavily.

“Jesus, Santi, I didn’t see you there.” You chuckled nervously. “You scared the shit out of me.”

He chuckled too, “likewise. You don’t have to do that, the dishes, I can finish up. Maria always finds a way to get out of doing the shit I ask her to.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem.” You said turning back around, slowly bending over and then standing to lift the dishwasher door closed. You were playing with fire. “Just tell me what button to-”

You felt his chest nearly touching you. He was close enough that the fabric of his shirt could be felt on the back of your bare arms. He reached over from behind you and pushed the buttons on the dishwasher to start it. You turned around, Santi was standing close to you. Your heart was thumping in your ears, deafening you.

Santiago looked down at your perfect chest, tits perky, nipples nearly grazing his shirt. You leaned in, he started leaning too. His fingers brushed over your cheek and he reached his hand behind the back of your head.

You heard your name called over the top of the stairs, “...are you coming?”

Santiago let out a sigh of defeat, and so did you. He dropped his arm to his side.

“I-I’d better go.” You breathed heavily, staring up at Santi’s eyes for a second before skirting around him and heading to the stairs.

What the fuck are you doing Santi? He asked himself.

Just ten minutes ago he had given himself a pep-talk about letting those thoughts go. When he saw your delicious ass on display when he came down those stairs though, he’d lost all semblance of reason. This wasn’t like him, but…you were looking at him like that, you were bending over like that.

Your brain was a mess while Maria rambled to you. You thought you were out of your mind when you scrambled to clean the water off of Santi’s lap at dinner and he looked into your eyes. You’d thought for sure that you made up the connection he had with you, but now you were certain. He was into you. There was no other reason for him to have been staring at you like that right? If he had just come down the stairs, he wouldn’t have jumped when you turned around, he’d been looking at you. Further, he had no reason to come up behind you like that to start the dishwasher, chest brushing against your spine. He’d leaned in, almost kissing you, right?

There was only one real way to confirm. It was eleven on the dot, and Maria was snoring to your left. You silently got out of her bed and left the room. You couldn’t be so bold as to go knocking on his bedroom door, you had to be more careful than that. Your throat felt a little dry, so you thought about getting a glass of water.

You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this in the hopes that Santiago Garcia, your best friend’s dad, would come down there and fuck you senseless. Surely you were mistaken. The more you thought about it, the more foolish it started to sound. That is, until you had a half full glass of water and a daring hand snaking around your hip.

He’d heard you sneak from Maria’s bedroom, and hoped that by making his move you wouldn’t scream or push him away. It was possible that you were into it, that you were just as desperate as he was. If that were the case, it wouldn’t be hard to just keep this little thing a secret, if that’s what he had to do to have you, even if only for one night.

“Having a hard time sleeping?” He asked, lips against your neck.

You gulped, letting out a short breath. “Y-yes.” You said softly.

His cock was pressing against your rear in a gentle churning motion, just enough to feel some friction. You didn’t move, you didn’t dare. Part of you was still trying to comprehend that this was real, and that your friend’s dad really wanted you. When you thought about him, his eyes, his lips, he was so good looking, you realized that you really did want him. That’s why you went down there in the first place, right? You put the glass down on the counter and gripped the granite surface for support.

“You can push me away. I know this is wrong.” He whispered.

“Mr. Garcia…” You said breathlessly.

All the times he told you to call him Santi, he had done it for Maria’s sake. He always loved hearing you call him Mr. Garcia. Maybe it was some weird kink in his head, but it made his cock pulsate with a fierce need whenever you said it.

His hand, large against your abdomen, trekked down into your shorts, you were soaked. He circled over your clitoris. You’d never been with someone his age, but you’d heard that older men knew what they were doing. His left hand reached up and cupped your breast.

“Did you forget your bra sweetheart?” He continued his circling motion around your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“N-no, I…oh…I didn’t wear one on purpose.” You said in a playful tone.

He snickered, “of course you didn’t, such a tease.”

He rutted his hips against you. There was still part of him telling him how wrong this was, but it felt so good he couldn’t stop himself. His middle finger slipped into the folds of your cunt, immediately drowning in the juices that had been leaking there since putting the dishes away. The way he kissed your neck, and the way his finger worked into you made you wish you’d slept with more men his age.

“You really know what you’re doing…” You said in between your needy panting.

“Yes, hermosa, I’ll take care of you.”

You threw your head back against his shoulder and gripped the edge of the counter so hard your knuckles ached. His lips latched on to your throat, sucking the skin there tenderly. You felt another one of his thick fingers slip into your hole, pumping in and out of you. You were trying to keep yourself from making too much noise, but it felt too good. 

“Sh, you want us to get caught?” He said through clenched teeth.

“No Mr. Garcia.” You managed to choke out.

“Then you’d better learn to keep that pretty little mouth quiet cariño.”

He was fingering you fast now, so fast that you were struggling to hold on to the countertop anymore and so you let go, allowing his strong arms to keep you in place. You felt full, but not full enough. You wanted more. You needed more.

“I want you to fuck me Mr. Garcia, please.” You begged. “Fuck me.”

Though he was thoroughly enjoying fingering you, he was glad you said something, because he was seconds from losing it in his sweats, and he would rather lose himself in your sweet cunt. He turned you around to the island counter and bent you over the granite. You quickly pulled your shorts down around your thighs, and you felt his thick cock as he wasted no time readying it at your hole.

“Are you sure about this sweetheart?” He asked, holding the head there at your entrance.

“Yes, please, I need it.” You said desperately.

“It might hurt a little, just say something if it does, ok?” He pressed a hand over your back and then pushed himself through until his hips were flush against your rear.

You reached and grabbed the other side of the island counter for stability.

“That’s a good girl, just hold on tight like that.” He brought both of his hands down to land a bruising grip on your hips.

“S-Santi.” You moaned, “You’re so big, holy-” 

It wasn’t painful, and it felt good to have him gliding over your walls. He looked down, reveling in the way your hole split over his cock. He grunted, thrusting into you, his skin slapped against your rear. Nothing had ever felt like you did, so warm, so tight, it didn’t even matter to him that you were his kid’s friend anymore. He just wanted to hear you screaming his name until you could hardly breathe.

“Fuck, cariño, you have such a nice little pussy. So wet and ready for me. Have you been thinking about me all night?” He said in a whisper between his deep moans.

“Y-yes.” You admitted. “I wanted to feel your cock Mr. Garcia.”

“Of course you did sweetheart.” His thrusts were getting faster. “Is that why you bent over doing those dishes like that? Huh? Were you hoping your best friend’s dad would come down the stairs and catch you shaking your ass like a little tease?”

“Fuck, yes.” You felt your core heating as your climax closed in.

“You’re such a naughty little girl, gonna fill you with my cum sweetheart.” His thrusting became jagged and stuttering, and his breathing turned into hushed grunts as he started to shoot his hot ropes into you.

“Yes…” You said, feeling your own orgasm peak.

You gushed over him, cunt squeezing the life from his hard length. It was hard to keep quiet, despite knowing you should. Maria was right upstairs and as long as she was still sleeping, she wouldn’t have heard your whimpering cries while your pussy contracted over her dad’s thick cock. She wouldn’t have heard your cracked voice say his name like a prayer while your knuckles strained over the countertop.

He stepped back, letting his cock and cum spill out of you. You heard some shuffling and then felt him using a towel to clean your cunt and your thighs.

“Squeeze it out for me sweetheart.” He demanded.

You did, feeling gobs of hot white ejaculate falling out into the paper towel Santi held between your thighs. Your legs were still shaking while you held on to the granite tightly. You couldn’t believe you had actually done that with him. It’s not like you hadn’t had the opportunity to do it many times during visits before, this time was different though, this time he had been so bold and desperate. He was irresistible.

“There’s a good girl.” He said as he finished cleaning you up.

You pulled your shorts up and turned to him. His face was flush with color, curls disheveled. He placed a soft kiss on your lips. His eyes looked at you with a near drunken hooded gaze. You wished that you could be held now, even for a few moments before having to leave, but you knew your time together was over, for now.

“Run to bed now.” He said.

When you turned, you were met with a quick smack on your rear before you bounded over the stairs to join your friend in her bed once again. You could only hope, with breath-stilling anticipation, that you would get to spend more time with him again some day.

Part 2

Triple Frontier Masterlist

bfd!Santi Masterlist

AO3 LINK:

TAGLIST (please let me know if you would like to be added or removed): @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction, @my-secret-shame, @thatmomwitchfriend, @alexxavicry, @welcometostayingawake, @jake-g-lockley, @campingwiththecharmings, @steven-grants-world, @lia275, @minigirl87, @ahookedheroespureheart, @in-between-the-cafes

[ohraicodoll]

i need more tommy x red content, i feel like all of their interactions would be so unintentionally funny, like red is trying her hardest to be nice and tommy is just so scared of her. however i can actually see tommy being one of the first people outside of the ellie and joel that red warms up to. but whenever joel and tommy gets into a little brotherly spat she can get a little mean with him.

😂 I'm doing this headcanon style just because I feel this would have to encompass a lot of different moments lol

Tommy doesn't realize what Joel means by Red being a little wild until a week into their settling down in Jackson because he makes the mistake of grabbing her backpack (mind you, he was just going to hand it to her, but he didn't know how she would react)

Instantly, she's stepping towards him and rationality is gone from her eyes making him drop the bag immediately as Joel steps between them with hands raised. His eyebrows are in his hairline as he watches his older brother try to placate her. He damn near feels like bolting when she moves around him and snatches her bag from the floor beside him, giving him a glare

It takes a good few drinks and forcing his brother to sit down and tell him who the fuck he brought into his town before Joel gives him her full story

She's not just rough around the edges, like he had gauged during that first meal when he met her. He had thought she was quiet, antisocial maybe. No, she's full on raised-by-wolves wild.

He avoids telling Maria for another week to keep from stressing her out. He wonders how the hell his brother found this woman.

This becomes unavoidable when the problems start. She almost breaks a guy's wrist when he puts his hand on her shoulder. Ellie is yelling at people in her defense. Grant comes back from their first patrol together, without Joel, beat to shit for flirting with her. She keeps pulling weapons out on people.

He knows Joel likes her. Hell, he thinks the man even loves her despite his grumblings, ambiguity, and avoidance of the topic. So he's stuck between caring for his brother and his town/wife's wishes.

He tries to bridge the barrier during family dinners and gets nothing at first. It takes a few dinners and a couple of hints from Ellie (who is so much like Sarah sometimes it hurts) before he manages to get her to talk about music. And for a while, she doesn't seem so bad as he watches her warm up and relax and look a little bit more human.

He brings up seeing concerts growing up with Joel before serving in the Army and when he tells her Springsteen was a better show than Johnny Cash, somehow it's like she's a different person as she debates with him.

"You're fucking out of your mind. You saw Cash and you thought Springsteen was better?" "Hey, I didn't say it was bad-" "Springsteen?" "Are you going to kill me if I said I also liked Bon Jovi more?" "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Lighter, quicker in her replies, more at ease. No stutters, no hesitancy. He can see what Joel means about those hints of her former self and he doesn't miss the smirk on his brother's face, even if Tommy is worried she's gonna kill him.

Things get tense when there is discussion of Red getting kicked out. He's the one that has to break it to Joel.

Maria is stressed after more incidents with Red and he's quick to suggest a different job. Less people, something she'd be more at ease with. The kennels were usually run by Jamie, the towns most experienced vet who was having to split time between the dogs and the horses and the farm animals. She's more than willing to have Red help.

Red takes to it quickly and Tommy can't help but feel proud of himself for the suggestion. Joel tells him he talked to her and she's trying even if it looks like torture for her. The incidents go down with the exception of the Harper problem. He makes it extremely clear to her she's to keep away from Red after Joel tells him what happened.

Red does well enough in the kennels that Maria thinks she's good to stay in their commune. The worry eases a bit and he can breathe.

Tommy often finds her there, sitting with the dogs, reading whatever books she can on training and caring for them. Jamie leaves some of her veterinarian texts for her to study and she's quick to focus on that. Joel tells him that when she has a goal, a job, she goes all in and it seems the dogs are her focus now.

He catches her there one day when he's returning Bailey back to her pen after a patrol. Usually they nod at each other and that's that, but he's almost startled out of his skin when she appears right behind him. He hadn't heard her at all. Sometimes she scares the shit out of him and he wonders if his brother has a death wish.

But she looks nervous and Tommy tries to be patient as she stutters out a sentence, almost looking frustrated at herself, "Um...it's getting colder...and, um, the puppies..." She takes a deep breath with clenched teeth and continues more evenly, "I don't want the pups to die and it's, um, too cold. Joel said I had to ask you."

He doesn't interrupt, tries to piece together what exactly she's asking and act like this was a normal situation, "You wantin' a heater installed in here for the dogs?"

She nods firmly before jumping to add (making him slightly flinch), "And the older dogs. The cold isn't good for their joints."

Maybe because he's trying to make an effort or because she doesn't ask for anything ever, but he's quick to agree even though it means arguing with the electrical team. He gets the heaters installed for her that week and even installs some insulation to help.

She seems a little less scary after that.

He's the one to find her when one of the senior dogs passes. She doesn't cry, but clings to his fur, laying on the ground, as if her warmth could bring him back. Part of him wants to go get Joel, but doesn't want to leave her alone. So he sits beside her, resting a hand on her back, and stays.

He helps her bury him and when she goes back to the pen, silent and closed off, then he goes and gets Joel. She stays there for a week until his brother manages to coax her back home.

It seems to break down some sort of wall between them. Even if she isn't exactly warm to him, he can tell there's less tension. He sees more hints of how she is with Joel and Ellie. She gets through a family dinner at his house and even throws a few more digs at his music tastes. When they're on patrol with Joel, she proves she is a much better shot than him and even laughs when he misses their designated target. Joel mutters "half a mile, my ass."

Old habits die hard. Joel was always the one to take charge, to tell him what to do. Now that Tommy is more in the leadership role they butt heads like before. They're arguing over construction plans and Joel is frustrated with Daniel, the man in charge of the project.

He knows Joel has more experience, but Maria had put Daniel in the head role and he wasn't going to undermine her. But his brother is on a rant about all the things the man is doing wrong and he's having to defend Maria's decision.

When things get more heated, Red is there. She doesn't say anything to him, but it's like having a live wolf in the room. He freezes at the way her eyes are blank, hollow, cold. One wrong move and she'd be on him, it didn't matter who he was. The argument ends if only so Joel can keep her from killing him over a dumb fight.

The line is clear. She'll protect her own against anyone. It terrifies him but he also respects it. Joel needs someone to watch his back.

Tommy doesn't realize how much she begins to grow on him until he happens upon her at the wood mill. The men are leering and one is giving her a hard time, obviously coming on to her. He knows she's trying. Trying to be less aggressive and reactionary, trying to keep her head down. But it's him that reacts when the guy grabs her arm firmly and doesn't let go. When she tries to shake him off and he spits out, "Maybe someone just needs to break you in, wild thing."

He doesn't think, old traits flaring back to life. Tommy socks the guy in the face. Hard.

The man hits the ground on his back hard and he just stands over him next to Red who looks unsure and a little surprised, a first for him to witness. But Tommy shakes his hand and hisses at the man, "Don't you lay a hand on anyone like that again, understood? Don't you even look at her ever or I'll break your fucking jaw. You can tell your buddies the same."

The rest of them don't say anything and he helps her grab what she needs before they leave.

They're walking back to Joel's house, his hand smarting a little and her holding the wood pieces she had gone to collect. They're almost at the house when she looks at him like she's trying to dissect every piece of him, split him open and analyze what makes him tick. It's uncomfortable but he stares back with what he hopes is an easy smile.

"You didn't have to do that," she mutters with a hard frown but he can hear the underlining words. Joel always said she has a hard time saying what she means. That you have to peek underneath what she's saying. You helped me, you came to my defense, why why why?

Tommy huffs and smiles a bit wider before patting her on the back. She doesn't flinch.

"I was just lookin' out for family, that's all."

[elliephile]

heart to heart ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

summary: reader basically comes out to jackson ellie without actually saying it. for context reader has now been in jackson for awhile and has become close friends with ellie.

cw: no smut just kissing and making out. just ellie and reader having secret crushes on eachother & being cute. kinda inspired by dina and ellie during the blizzard. pretty wholesome besides a make out session. also not proofread!

a/n: also this is my first time writing on here and i hardly know how to work this so bare w me if I do something wrong or weird 🚶‍♀️I kept it a little short but i have a couple ideas on where to take it for another part. but i also feel like it might be good as just one part. idk hehe

It wasn’t often that Jackson welcomed new people, but when they did, it was always with open arms and generosity. That is, once whoever they found was no longer deemed a threat. You always thought Maria was better than you for that – for letting in new people, seemed too risky, but then she’d say something like “that new person was once you,” and then you’d feel kind of dumb. You’d just been in Jackson for so long now that you hardly thought about life before you stumbled upon the now familiar settlement. Regardless, life before Jackson wasn’t worth thinking about. You hated talking about things that were in any way traumatic or uncomfortable, which is probably why you didn’t have much to say when Maria was a little too enthusiastic for you to meet the new boy your age that Joel and Tommy ending up taking back to town during one of their patrols.

“He’s cute huh? Well mannered too,” Maria began, her tone rather suggestive. You simply widened your eyes, looking down at the tired, wooden bar counter of the Tipsy Bison, hoping your silence was any indication that you did not like where this was going. “I could set you and him up for patrol together, y’know? You could show him the ropes and I don’t know maybe you two—” before Maria could even finish her train of thought, you cut her off, grateful your order of two sandwiches came at what seemed like the perfect timing.

You smiled a small smile to Maria, hurriedly grabbing both sandwiches and getting yourself up to get the fuck out of there. You knew she meant well. She was always trying to be helpful but there’s no way she could have known that maybe you just didn’t like boys. In the post-apocalyptic world, sayings like “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” were simply inaccurate. It’s not like there were a ton of guys around in Jackson; maybe a few, but you never showed any interest, and you spent most of your time with Ellie anyway. Maria probably just thought you were lonely or something, but you were more than content with Ellie’s company.

“Gotta go Maria. See you around!” You didn’t really know what else to say because you knew Maria would end up doing whatever she wanted. If she envisioned you and the new guy together, it wouldn’t be long til’ she put you on patrol with him. That, and you felt indebted to her for giving you a chance at a somewhat normal life in Jackson, so you never really challenged her. Part of you wanted to come clean and tell her you just weren’t attracted to him, or any guy really, but what if the right guy just hadn’t come along? Your sexuality didn’t make sense to you, and it’s not like there were a ton of ways to figure it out. You could only go by what felt right.

As you trudged your way to the stables, holding the sandwiches close to your chest to contain their warmth, you spotted Ellie alongside Shimmer, putting her back after patrol. Excited to see her, you immediately picked your feet up, struggling to gain any speed with how deep the snow was.

“Hey” you called out, finally reaching the freckle faced girl. “When’d you get back?” your words were hard to form with how cold it was outside and despite the several layers you put on, you never got used to the snow, or the cold weather in general.

“Uhh, just a few minutes ago. You okay?” Ellie’s attention quickly diverted over to you, and though she was worried about you, she also couldn’t hold back a playful smile. Something about seeing you all flustered and cold in the snow made her wanna laugh.

“Please I know you’re holding in a laugh. I’m fucking freezing, but I brought you a sandwich. Here, catch.” A half annoyed scoff falls from your lips as you attempt to throw the sandwich, but your arm feels too frozen to move.

“You know, I think i’ll just grab it myself.” A chuckle falls from her lips and you can’t help but admire her. She seemed to be good at almost everything she did.

You avoided patrol on especially colder days, knowing how miserable you’d be, so Ellie would pick up your slack, offering to go in place of you. You took up the offer only after Ellie insisted profusely; she really cared about you, even if she seemed to be laughing at your misery right now. You always felt bad when she went out of her way for you, so you’d thank her one way or another; today you’d brought her a sandwich.

As she leaned forward into you, your stomach filled with butterflies, and even being a few inches away from her made you feel warmer. She grabbed the sandwiches, placing them in her bag before snaking her arms around you, squeezing you tightly in her hold. Your bodies were so close you could feel her cheek press against yours. “Alright. Let me keep you warm til’ we get back to my place. Consider it a thank you for bringing me food.”

You allowed yourself to lean into Ellie, letting her guide the way back. It was hardly a long walk back but the coldness made it feel like forever. Honestly though, you didn’t mind the excuse to be held by Ellie.

You two were nothing but close friends. Pretty much everyone knew one way or another that Ellie was lesbian, but you’d never expressed that you might’ve been too. Even though there was so obviously a brewing chemistry between you and her, neither of you acknowledged it and everyone else just took it as a mere friendship. It was also very possible that Ellie was utterly and completely oblivious and could never believe in a million years that you liked her.

“I don’t know how you don’t get hypothermia out there.” You mumbled, crossing your arms tightly together as the two of you dragged through the snow. Ellie shrugged, “I mean, I do get cold but I suck it up, get used to it. I guess I’m just better than you.” The two of you made eye contact, an annoyed look in your eyes as you looked right at her, “I would fucking bury you in this snow right now if I wasn’t freezing my ass off.”

If even possible at this point, Ellie leaned her head closer into yours, bringing her lips to your ears, “That’s a load of shit. You know I could take you any day. C’mon now.” She chuckled deeply, and honestly, she was probably right. Whether she was joking or not, you knew there was truth in what she said; she was completely capable of beating your ass.

You let out a dramatic sigh, “Just shut up and get me to warmth.”

“Yes ma’am.” She nudged you gently, her fingers pressing into your side as she provided you with temporary heat.

Ellie held onto you until you were completely inside, sitting you down on her bed and wrapping her blanket around you. “You look cute like that.” Ellie mumbled, causing the butterflies to return to your stomach. You stayed quiet, not sure what to say. It almost made Ellie panic when you didn’t respond.

“I didn’t mean that in a weird way. Like I’m not saying that-”

“I know.” Part you felt a little bummed that she felt the need to clarify. Maybe you wanted Ellie to be attracted to you.

Ellie handed you your sandwich before taking her own, pulling a chair and taking a seat in front of you.

You watched the way she sat on the chair, her legs spread out. Your eyes flickered over her stance, barely paying much attention to the sandwich in your hand. Ellie, on the other hand, wasted no more time getting in a bite.

“Okay, I fucking hate Seth’s bigot ass,” she began, food in her mouth, “buuut he makes a good sandwich.”

“Eat with your mouth closed, you freak.”

She paused for a moment, her eyes meeting with yours. “Oh, fuck you.”

The two of you silently devoured the sandwiches, Ellie quicker than you. When the two of you were laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, suffering from food coma, you randomly asked Ellie,

“How’d you know you liked girls?” It was a pretty unexpected question, given you never made a big deal out of the fact she liked girls and not boys. You never really even asked her about it.

“Hm, I think I always knew. Had a ton of girl crushes but zero boy crushes. But I think I knew for sure when I kissed Riley. Felt like my heart was gonna jump out of my chest, but in the best way possible.”

Ellie took a beat before glancing over at you. “Why the sudden curiosity?”

You thought for a moment before shrugging, “I think Maria’s trying to set me up with that new kid. Wants me to go on patrol with him because she thinks I’d like him but, I don’t see myself with him? Or any guy? Fuck I don’t know.” You let out a frustrated sigh, feeling Ellie’s arm on your hip, pushing it towards her so that you two were facing eachother now.

“Can you see yourself with a girl?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I’ve never had a cathartic or life-changing moment to know. And I feel like I should know without that but I don’t and it’s like something is wrong with-”

If you hadn’t been so consumed in your own thoughts, you would have noticed the hesitation in Ellie’s face as she chose to cut you off.

“I’ll kiss you, if you want. Then maybe you’ll know.” Honestly, Ellie’s heart was racing just as fast as yours, and maybe she just took this as an opportunity to finally do something she’d always wanted to, but it took guts to even offer; she was afraid of being rejected.

You were shocked, but for whatever reason you wasted no time in saying yes.

You nodded your head, too nervous to even speak, and you were sure she could hear how loud and fast your heart was beating. That itself was probably enough indication that you were gay as fuck.

You felt Ellie inch closer to you, using her fingers to pull the hood completely off your head so she could see your entire face. She placed her palm over your cheek so gently, like it was her first time kissing someone when you knew it definitely wasn’t. She pressed her lips onto yours, peppering kisses one by one, gaining more confidence with each one. You leaned into her lips, surprised at how soft they felt, and for a few seconds neither of you pulled away.

When Ellie did pull away, your eyes flickered over the wet shine across Ellie’s lips, then at her eyes. “Yeah. I definitely like boys.” You joked, but your face remained absolutely serious, giving Ellie a full blown panic attack. Your lips quickly curled into a smile, and you began to laugh, causing Ellie to smack you right in your boob.

“You are such a dick y/n! Don’t fucking do that.” She groaned, shaking her head.

“Ow, I was kidding, geez,” you rolled your eyes, grabbing at the spot she smacked you, shifting your body to lay down more comfortably beside her. Something about the whole situation made your core tight and it gave you this new found bravery to push whatever this was further. “Actually, I think we should kiss again. Just to be sure that I definitely like girls.”

“No fuck you. Trial run is over, you jerk.”

“You don’t want to kiss again?”

“I mean, if you were to kiss me again, I wouldn’t stop you.”

At this point you could feel a throb in between your legs, and you pushed yourself up, swinging your leg over Ellie’s hips so that you were sat over her and you placed a sloppy kiss onto her mouth, both of you cupping each others face. Ellie deepened this kiss, the two of you a hot mess. Whether Ellie knew or not, this was your first real kiss, unless you count the time you were awkwardly kissed by the boy who had a huge crush on you when you were like 12.

You didn’t feel cold at all anymore, in fact you felt like your skin was on fire, causing you to pull your jacket off of you.

You struggled to pull the zipper down, making Ellie impatient underneath you, “hurry up,” she breathed out, lifting her head and stomach up to squeeze in a few kisses wherever she could. “I’m trying, ugh,” you murmured back before she decided to take matters into her own hands. She pushed herself up, flipping you underneath her and tugging the zipper down which allowed you to finally pull it off.

“Yeah, take that shit off.”

You didn’t really imagine ever having Ellie on top of you like this; maybe you occasionally thought about how it would feel to kiss her, especially when you’d see her with her other girls, but you never expected for any of it to actually happen. Nonetheless, you were glad. It felt good, and it felt right, and it confirmed the question you’d been wondering for a while now. Your body was feeling all sorts of things you hadn’t felt before and you didn’t want to stop feeling any of it.

You let out a hushed moan when you felt Ellie’s mouth drag across your jaw, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck. You mirrored her actions, warming up her cold skin with your warm lips. Her hands creeped up underneath your top, but she she didn’t push them any farther, instead she stayed focused up top.

Lips nearly swollen and both of you almost out of breath, the two of you pulled away, and Ellie flopped back down beside you. You grabbed her hand and placed it over your rapidly thumping chest. “Feel that? It’s my heart jumping out of my chest for you.” You giggled.

“You’re actually so dumb.”

[stressed-depressed-andobsessed]

It was @local-pr1nter who planted the Theatre Kid Mondo Owada idea into my head

Anyway

Here's the character list for who's who in my Danganronpa x Hamilton musical AU thing

Hamiliton Musical of 78' AU

Alexander Hamilton - Kiyotaka Ishimaru

He wasn't going to audition at first since he's never watched Hamilton before, but after a mandatory movie night watch with the entire class so they could 'study' the musical, he decided to try out for Hamilton himself

Taka absolutely loves Hamilton's passion and drive throughout the musical. He doesn't like the occasional cursing (and actively despises the affairs, both emotional with Angelica and physical with Maria), but he tries to look past it because it's all just an act afterall. He wouldn't actually curse if he were picked for the part (and definitely would not cheat on any future love interests)

He studies Hamilton HARD. Just as hard as the homework and topics that are discussed in class. He watched the entire musical 6 times over just to make sure he knew everyone's lines, moves, and personality. It doesn't matter that he was only going to be playing Alexander Hamilton, he still needs to know everyone else's lines too

Sayaka is his biggest hype man when he was practicing his lyrics before the rehearsal. Did he stumble over a line? That's ok, practice it a couple of times with me then try again! Can't hit a particular high note? Try this method she learned during a routine practice she was doing with her bandmates! Nervous before the audition? Look to the side of the stage, she'll be right there smiling and silently singing with you!

Hina is also like that, but with the dancing parts. Need advice for singing and dancing at once without getting tired quickly? She's got him, here's a technique she learned from swimming competitions!

Don't get me started on how loud they (and Mondo) screamed when Taka got the lead role. You would've thought there was a fire, or someone was attacking the school

He's still not over the cursing thing, but he'll manage! Somehow...

Aaron Burr - Mondo Owada

You thought he screamed loud for Taka? Wait until you hear what he did when he found out about his own role

He cried. Very hard.

It was almost scary how expessive he was after finding out he was gonna play THE Aaron Burr

"KYOUDAI! TAKA! KIYO! OH MY FUCKING GOD! TAKA! TAKA! TAKA TAKA TAKA TAKA! WHERE'S CHI? OH MY GOD! I GOT TELL CHI TOO! OH MY GOD!"

This man's happiness could not be contained

He practiced his ass off though so he definitely deserved his role. He was right there with Taka for the 6 viewings (plus the movie night viewing) of Hamilton

After just watching the musical, he started practicing singing. Considering he already knew the musical like the back of his bike before this, it didn't take much practicing to get every single line down for... Hercules Muligan.

That's right! He auditioned for Mulligan! Not Burr.

He definitely didn't think he was good enough to play the Narrator of the musical so the supporting friend of the MC will have to do.

He chose Mulligan mostly because of the man's lines. He sings in, like, 3 songs and most of the lines were about fighting, having sex, getting drunk, or being a spy. Cool ass guy with a cool ass voice. Right up Mondo's alley

The dancing was pretty simply to figure out too since it was mostly background choreography that he already memorized when he was 13. When he was back at home with Daiya, belting out the lyrics and dancing stupidly in the middle of the living room

After the wave of initial excitement, he realizes the responsibility that comes with being the narrator and the MAIN FREAKING ANTAGONIST AND HAVING TO 'KILL' HIS KYOUDAI OH GOD HOW IS HE GONNA DO THING?? BURR HAS LIKE 3 SOLOS AND A 2 WHOLE DUETS WITH HAMILTON AND SO MUCH STUPID DANCING AND-

Eliza Schuyler - Sayaka Maizono

No-one was surprised by this to be honest. Considering Eliza is the other lead besides Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton, it would make sense to choose someone who knows exactly how to carry the show when needed

Sayaka practiced pretty hard so she could be Eliza. No offense to the other girls, but she was practically born to be the main Schuyler sister! She's the best at singing and acting since she already has the experience so all she really had to focus on is practicing the lines (and Jesus does Eliza have a lot)

Of course, she celebrated with her bandmates after breaking the news to them. Not everyone in the group knows Hamilton that well, but they still had some fun having a karaoke party and singing the songs

She did have to plead with her manager to get the month and a half off of concerts to go to the practices. It took a lot of compromising (along with some promises that her fans would surely pay to come and see her), but eventually, the crabby old man agreed on the condition that she does some in-between photoshoots to make up for her otherwise radio silence towards her fans

Sayaka immediately began practicing her lines with Taka after finding out about her role. It's a little awkward to pretend to be in love with him, but they end up laughing about it throughout the rehearsal whenever they have to be affectionate towards each other, so that helps a bit

Angelica Schuyler - Aoi Asahina

Hina decided her role through the process of elimination. She doesn't want to be Eliza since she knows Sayaka is going for that role (and she would KILL as the Female Lead!). She doesn't want to be Maria or Peggy since there's only 1 song that they sing in, and she wants to dance and sing as much as possible! (These strong lungs and athletic limbs are made just for that, and they will NOT be going to waste!) Angelica is perfect! She's in a couple songs and is one of the main-side characters, she also has a whole solo where she gets to sing as loudly as possible about two of her friends! The context of the song might not be positive, but when has negativity ever stopped Hina?

She joins in on the practice sessions that Taka and Sayaka hold and joins in on one of the re-watches with Taka and Mondo

She, of course, has one on one sessions with Sayaka to improve her vocal cords. Going from loudly screaming the lines to passionately singing the lyrics

She practiced her choreography with Taka and Sakura, she asked Chihiro to join as well, but they ended up denying while poorly hiding a giggle

They're hiding something...

Oh well! Hina loves secrets so she'll just wait and find out with everyone else!

It doesn't really have to be clarified that she celebrated when she got the part! She was so so so so so excited to be Angelica!! Yayayay! Not only does this mean that she gets to sing and dance with her friends, but she'll also get to brag to her family about a fun new skill she learned! Or maybe she should keep it a secret until the big day? Oh, she doesn't know, she might just explode from the excitement!

She put all her excitement into the swim competition that she had a couple days later, and it won her first place! Yay!

Peggy Schuyler - Kyoko Kirigiri

Kyoko definitely wasn't planning on auditioning for any part. She'd much rather be on the sidelines with Toko

That plan changed quickly when Makoto wouldn't shut up about her being someone- ANYONE- so he wouldn't have to be alone in his small part (If he even got the part, his luck is kind of wonky sometimes)

She finally lamented and auditioned for Peggy. No practice at all, just went for it.

She was present for one of the watch throughs and watched the musical again on her own. The first watch was used to analyze how the characters act and interact with each other, the second was to analyze the plot and movements of the characters. She deduced that Peggy has the second least number of lines of any female main-ish character, (The first being Maria Reynolds and there is no way she is 'seducing' Taka on stage in front of people she most likely knows.) her movements aren't terribly complicated either and whenever Peggy is on stage, she's overshadowed by others, so no-one really pays attention to her. That role is perfect.

Kyoko simply smiled when she read the casting list and saw that she received the role of Peggy. Not only would this make Makoto less nervous, but also practicing for the musical wouldn't take up any time because Peggy is only present in 4 songs and speak briefly in 2.

She has cases to work on and she'd rather not let practicing get in the way of that

George Washington - Sakura Oogami

This may seem like a weird decision, but Hina and Taka thought it was a great idea that someone as stoic and wise as Sakura to play someone as respectable (and tall) as George Washington

It didn't take much convincing as she holds respects for him (and might've been a little intrigued in being in the musical)

It did take a bit of practicing since Sakura's way of talking is more slow-paced while Washington's lines are fast-paced

She is just as resilient in training her mental muscles as her physical muscles though, so the practice is welcomed with honor

All the practice definitely pays off as she finds her name 8th down on the cast list

A smile and a nod are the reaction that the stoic Oogami gave at this revelation... Then a gasp followed as Hina also read the list and basically tackled her from behind in excitement

Hina then went on and on about how amazing Sakura was going to look in Washington's waistcoat and trousers and how amazing she was going to sound because Washington's voice is amazing, and Sakura's voice is amazing and Hina loves all of the parts where Washington sings and now it's going to be even better because she'll get to listen to her girlfriend sing and-

Sakura was not let go of for another 4 hours, but she did not mind one bit

If she wasn't already excited for practice, then she definitely would be now with Hina's bouncing, bubbly excitement radiating all over the place

Thomas Jefferson/Marquis De Lafayette - Yasuhiro Hagakure

Gonna be so honest, I originally only picked this because of Hiro looks

And I'm going to go on a whim here and say that the judges (Who I'm going to say now were teachers like Chisa and maybe some eager volunteers from V2 and V3) at the audition also took Hiro's appearances compared to Lafayette and Jefferson in to account when casting people

Hiro did have some really good accent skills, probably from having to hide his voices whenever someone he scammed bumps into him

He's pretty good at fast talking too, probably also from him having to think of quick excuses on the fly for when he also bumps into someone he's scammed

Both of those qualities are needed to be Lafayette along with being silly and everyone knows Hiro is like the goofiest goober around when he needs to be

He's also witty, engaging, and very sarcastic when needed which are all the qualities needed to be Jefferson

Hiro had both characters down, he loved both of them, but he couldn't decide which one to do. He tried asking he crystal ball, but that just 'told' him that he would vibe as either. So, he consulted the cards, who also told him that he'd be fine as either

He auditioned as both Lafayette and Jefferson since that would amplify his chances of getting at least one of them. He sung a bit of Battle of Yorktown for Lafayette and Cabinet Battle #1 for Jefferson

The audition judges couldn't decide which they liked best so they decided he would follow in Daveed Diggs' footsteps and give him both roles to play

He looked at the cast list, he got there after everyone else with Leon because he had detention, and cheered, attempting to fist bump Leon, but Leon seemed upset. He let it go and went to tell Taka instead

He knew he would get at least one of the roles! Afterall, it was in the cards!

John Laurens/James Reynolds - Leon Kuwata

This man went straight for Alexander Hamilton with absolutely no practice

Well, that's not completely true. He practiced a little bit in the shower and sung Hamilton's parts in Helpless with Sayaka one time

He actually did pretty good despite the very minimum amount of practice

He stumbled on a couple words, he auditioned with My Shot, but ultimately made up for it with his dancing and charisma towards the judges

That's most likely the reason why they gave Leon the part of John Laurens. Laurens is Hamilton's bestie up until his death, he doesn't have too many wordy lines, and he's mainly there to hype up the crowd/his friends. He's perfect for Laurens!

Which is so not perfect for Leon since he's gonna have to watch as whoever gets Hamilton sweeps Sayaka off her feet while he sits back and literally cheers him on!

He goes back to the judges and tells the main judge, and the only one he can really find in this big, old school, Chisa (as nicely as he can) that he doesn't want to be Laurens. He uses the excuse that he feels as though he should be in more of the musical. Chisa agrees and tells him she'll see what she can do!

Cool! Now all he has to do is go serve his detention (Which he may or may not have gotten for racing toy cars in the hall with Hiro and making someone trip) and come back later to see his name right next to Alexander Hamilton

...James Reynolds? Wasn't that the abusive husband? That's not what he meant by 'being more in the musical'! This guy only had like 2 lines and one's about calling his wife a whore!

Leon was left so much more upset than before; he didn't even notice Hiro trying to fist bump him or him leaving. He was seething when he realized that Mr. Hardass was taking his spot at woo-ing Sayaka, the exact same Hardass that gave him detention.

Now he had to pretend like he was really happy for Ishi-Ton and Say-Liza while also remember all these new stupid lines for not just Laurens, but also Reynolds

Hercules Mulligan/James Madison - Byakuya Togami

Literally only got these parts because of his deep voice

He did not audition for Mulligan or Madison, he auditioned for Aaron Burr. Why not Hamilton himself? He did not want to be seen as a protagonist; he sees himself as more suited to be the antagonist, and he did not want to have to fake not 1, not 2, but 3 romances with women he did not have a lick of feelings for.

Aaron Burr is level-headed until he started acting like that fool Hamilton, he thinks his plans through to a detrimental level, and he only mentions a love interest for a couple minutes before focusing on his life plans again. He was the perfect candidate for Togami to stand in as.

He did not practice any dancing but did multiple different private practices for his vocals. He auditioned with Wait for it as it did not require dancing so he could focus on his lines for the pitiful judges that watched him. He did perfectly and was left to wait for the confirmation.

He wanted to wait for all the idiots to clear away from the cast papers, but an unexpected squeal from the overgrown, meathead who was raving about getting his part made him push everyone else out of the way to see if what the big baby of a biker was saying was true. It couldn't be true; Aaron Burr was his part.

...There had to be some kind of mistake! He scanned over that sheet 3 times to find that the dreaded papers were not lying. He was not Aaron Burr; he was Hercules Mulligan and James Madison. Madison he could respect, the man is sophisticated and responsible both in history and in the musical, but Mulligan is a short, angry brute! That is the person suited for that currently over-emotional biker, not Aaron Burr!

He turned to tell that stupid biker that just as the meathead was rushing off to find the little tech student.

Damn it all.

He went to instead lay out his fury with Chisa, the main judge, in a not so polite way. It didn't seem to affect her though. She simply said that she could give those parts to someone else, and he could work in the back with Fukawa...

He dialed the number of his private vocalist to inform them of the change in lines he would have to practice.

King George - Celestia Ludenburg

She too practiced in private.

Of course she was going to go straight for the King, who else would befit her?

It didn't take much singing to convince the judges. Her voice is powerful, condescending, and sarcastic. Perfect for King George!

She will not be spitting like he famously does, but besides that, she already has his part in the bag.

She didn't have to go check the list to know she got her part, but it was worth getting all dressed up to see Togami's hissy fit at his cast reveal

Maria Reynolds - Junko Enoshima

The cheating, the manipulation, the groveling, the despair of a broken marriage caused by her, how could she pass that all up?

The part wasn't hard at all to get down, she was already basically a natural actor.

She practiced only for a stupid older sister's benefit. Poor Mukuro was so nervous about her small little part that she had to practice her chosen part over 30 times (It was definitely because Mukuro was nervous and not because Junko kept laughing and pointing out every little mistake she made)

Her part also came with the added bonus of getting to feel up Mr. Stick-in-his-ass without getting detention. In fact, she might be praised for the added realism

She didn't check the casting roster until really late at night, unfortunately missing the RichMan™'s breakdown, to avoid everyone else for her poor sister's sake (MukMuk is such a big baby, she swears)

She got the part (Yay) and so did her sister (Boo)

George Eacker - Mukuro Ikusaba

She didn't have that many lines, but she just kept messing up during practice for some reason

Luckily, she got them right for the audition (or she hopes she did, Junko didn't say anything so she must have done good)

She wasn't going to audition for any part, just work with Fukawa in the back, but then Junko said she'd be perfect for the part of the murderer of Philip Hamilton and asked her to try out for it

She couldn't deny her little sister, could she?

It was nerve-wracking, but the list had finally been posted so regardless of her nervous-ness, she would have her answer once she went to check the papers.

Junko had to end up dragging her to the papers late at night because she couldn't bring herself to go

She got the part, yay.

Charles Lee - Makoto Naegi

He wanted to be in the musical to support his fellow classmates while also not having to memorize many lines as he might end up forgetting them out of nervousness

Charles Lee, George Eacker, and Samuel Seabury were all good choices. Samuel would be hard though, because he and Taka would have to be singing over each other and he might not be able to say his lines at the same time as him. Especially because of how loud and intimidating Taka can be

He decided to eliminate him and focus on the other 2 options. They both had relatively short parts so auditioning with both of their songs wasn't met with any restraint from the judges

He figured, with his luck, he had to get one of the parts and if he didn't, because that was still definitely a possibility, then he could help Toko with backstage work full time

Luckily, he got Charles Lee. Unluckily, Byakuya decided to take his anger out on him by ranting about 'The Giant Oaf' as he referred to Mondo for almost an entire hour

That's ok though, Makoto is always up to support a 'friend' in times of distress!

Samuel Seabury - Hifumi Yamada

He originally was just going to work backstage with Fukawa Toko-dono but at the prospect that his Mistress is going to be centered as royalty and there is a commoner whose sole role is encouraging the Town People to worship her, he immediately started practicing for the part of Seabury

He was pretty good, even putting on his Manly™️ Voice while auditioning

Because of his impeccable performance, (and the fact that no-one else auditioned for that part) he was almost immediately given the role

Mistress Ludenburg even praised him for his role! (Then ordered him to make her some tea to celebrate)

That's all the main characters sorted I think so next post will be all about how each song and the practices for that particular song went. As expected for the class of 78, there will be lots of shenanigans (and maybe even some fanart to go with it if I can figure out how to draw some of these characters)

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Hold on, there's someone I have forgotten!

Philip Hamilton - Chihiro Fujisaki

Chihiro practiced with Sayaka privately, which was super awkward at first, but they eventually got over it

They wanted to surprise everyone by being in the musical! They know it will be really hard because they'll have to preform in front of everyone in a pretty major role, but that's what the practice is for. They've been getting physically stronger with Mondo, so it's time to up their emotion and mental strength (along with their vocal strength because they have a pretty small voice)

They were really nervous about preforming just in front of the judges, but that's ok because they did it and that's all that matters

They didn't even get a chance to look at the casting roster before Mondo came barreling into them announcing his role. Getting to see the unabridged happiness and excitement from Mondo almost made up for being crushed in a back breaking hug.

After the initial excitement, they then had to listen to his anxieties about all the lines and dance movements he's gonna have to remember before joking that they wouldn't have to do that themselves since they didn't audition for anything. Mondo will not admit that he stumbled to keep up as Chihiro pulled him down the hall (not running, just speed walking as they did pass Taka on the way) back to the casting papers

It took a minute as they specifically requested that their name went on the second paper and not the first so the likelihood of anyone finding their name on accident was low, but they sure did find it... and they were almost immediately put into another crushing hug. They may have gotten stronger and used to Mondo's physical affections, but the bear hugs are something they don't think they'll ever get used to

They leave off telling everyone else, they'll figure it out during practices

Alright, that's everyone! Any other minor roles that weren't assigned to anyone is picked up by other Ultimates that aren't in the 78 class (maybe some of the class of 77 helped) like the background dancers or the prop and set movers. Toko doesn't get a role, not because I don't like her because I absolutely do, but because:

1. I could not find a role that fit her comfortable

2. Realistically, she would not and could not perform in front of potentially 100s of people (Most of whom are made up of the classmates' family and friends, along with Sayaka's fans who came just for Sayaka)

3. She would not want to risk Syo coming out in front of hundreds of people. She would rather have her come out while backstage because then someone could notice and get her away from the stage area more subtly and without worry

She's content with having to pull the curtains or just motioning for props to be sent out to the stage.

This entire performance is going to be put on in a sort of hall, think of a graduation ceremony kind of hall. Despite the huge school and its amenities, they could not fit all the props, characters, and costumes along with 100+ people anywhere in the school comfortably. The school funds the renting of this hall though since this is for a festival. The festival will be happening at and around the school where some students will also be selling tickets for the musical and then there will be an announcement, signaling that the musical will start in an hour. All guests will then move to the hall, get their tickets taken, and take their seats.

[officalroyalsofpierreland]

Prison Barres

The Estate of the Duke of Barre, Druzar

Sebastian, Duke of Barre: I sent you to Pierreland to compete in Polo. And yet, I wake up yesterday to get reports out of Lunaria that you were seen arguing with Princess Maria Aisha of Pierreland! Do you realize how much sway she has with her parents? If you were more charming, then we could've leveraged her connections to break into Pierreland's economy! Theodore: Wait....she was the Princess?

Sebastian: Dear Watcher Theodore. Did you read the portfolio before you left- Theodore: I- Sebastian: I can answer for you. You did not. You never do. You never listen. I am trying to help you see opportunities to help the family. Like your brother, Vance! He at least is doing some good for the family name

Theodore[mumbling]: yeah...you do realize that I'm my own person right. Sebastian: But you are my son. You are in my home. You will follow the path I set out for you. Theodore: And if I don't want to? If I don't want to be some mindless drone-

Sebastian: Zip it. You do not know anything. You continuously prove that. You should be more like Vance. He listens. He does what he is told. And He doesn't pop up on foreign tabloids! Not to mention, one of your friends mention that you brought her back to your room and slept with her! For fuck's sake Theodore- Theodore: I didn't know she was the princess okay! She gave me a fake name and she wanted to have a good time, and so did I! Watcher father, I get it. I'm a fuck up! Let's call a spade a spade here.

Sebastian: Oh you want to be a man now? Alright. You're a disappointment. You are the worst son I could ask for. Your playboy behavior needs to end before-

Avrora, Duchess of Barre: Oh before he turns into you Seb? Theo, darling, Your father and I need to talk. Sebastian[scowling]: We are not done here. Avrora: Oh you are.

Theodore: I'm sorry Mom...I messed up... Avrora: Whatever you did, I'm sure you can make up for it. Theodore: I don't think so-

Sebastian: Avrora. You said you wanted to talk. Theodore, get the fuck out. Avrora: Honestly Sebastian, let me parent our son. You know...something you should try sometime instead of just yelling at the boy-

[Muffled arguing] Theodore: Don't say it. Vance: I'm not going to say anything. But....Jabari's older brother said you managed to pull the Pierrelander Princess....nice Theodore: Doesn't feel that way...I didn't know who she was when I met her...

[Avrora: Maybe if you need to change your definition of well behaved! Sebastian: Maybe, you don't need to coddle him! He needs to be a man Avrora!]

Vance: Fighting again? Theodore: Yeah...

[Avrora: Ah Yes! Because you're a stellar example of how to be a man. You really think I wouldn't find out your latest fling is the same age as your oldest son! Sebastian: Oh you want to go there? Your latest one looks like a Ken doll.]

Vance: You didn't know she was the princess though? Theodore: No...I didn't find out till I was getting yelled at...she...she seemed normal and then I had to go bragging about how I got her to those two idiots Dad makes me hang out with and she got pissed.

Vance: Well....did she tell you why she was upset? Theodore [sighing]: Cause I was behaving like I do with those guys...like an asshole whereas with her...I was.. Vance: Yourself? Yeah Theo, I can see why she'd be upset. But you can fix this! Theodore: Um...how? I'm probably blacklisted from Pierreland. Vance: I mean...have mom help you out! Maybe you can show her that the you she met is the real you. Not the version Dad wants you to be. Theodore: You gotta teach me how you get him to like you cause he just likes to yell at me. Vance: You just gotta play the game little bro...and maybe listen a bit more

@trentonsimblr

[lizzy-bonnet]

Austenian Dads

A recent post about mothers-in-law by @bethanydelleman had me thinking about the dads in Jane Austen. We get a lot of discourse about mothers and mother figures, who have big, important roles in the stores, but her depictions of fatherhood are interesting too. Here, in my opinion, are the dads and dad-like figures in her novels, ranked from best to worst.

(note: I've left out deceased and barely-there dads, but I will note that Mr. Dashwood's attempt to look out for his daughters, and the amount of grief occasioned by his death, indicate that he is a Top Dad.)

Mr. Musgrove - Notwithstanding "poor Richard", Mr. Musgrove has three reasonably well-adjusted adult children, seems to love his younger children, and goes to his daughter's bedside when she is injured. His children all make Sensible Matches, and he likes kids enough to permit the little Harvilles to be brought back to Uppercross to increase its noise. He folds my beloved Anne into his family and treats her affectionately whenever she is with them. By the standards of the day, he seems pretty solid. 8/10 Least Bad Dad.

Sir John Middleton - Like Mr. Musgrove, Sir John is a people person. His immediate and unreserved adoption of the Dashwoods in their hour of need tells us that he is an unambiguously good-hearted person, which usually leads to loving parenting. His kids are young so we don't see him interacting much with them, but his desire to give everyone a nice time bodes well. He doesn't notice when his teasing goes to far. 7/10 definitely tells the same dad joke over and over.

Mr. Bennet - As a reader I love him because he's pithy, but he's honestly not a great dad, and is not modeling a happy marriage for his daughters. He shows favouritism to Lizzy, lets Lydia run wild, is hurtful towards Mary and Kitty, and fails to save up any money to bribe worthless young men to marry his daughters. 5/10 for putting all his eggs in the "having a son" basket and then doing nothing when the handle on the basket breaks.

Lt. Price - Loud, embarrassing, shiftless. Ignores his daughters but seems to maybe do OK with his sons? 3.5/10, tops.

Sir Walter Elliot - This fucking guy, am I right? He's vain, he's self-obsessed, he's a spendthrift, and he's a dreadful parent. His eldest daughter is his favourite and he basically forgets Anne and Mary exist when they're not directly in front of him (and sometimes doesn't notice them even when they are). His favouritism has damaged Anne and Mary in different ways to Mr. Bennet's to his younger daughters, but the source is the same: he has one child who is like him and others that he doesn't click with, so he basically lets them shift for themselves. In the Elliot household I'm certain this means that sensitive Anne was left to grieve her mother without any comfort from her father. It's no wonder she was ready to marry the first loving man she saw. When he sees her looking well, he thinks it's down to her skin care regimen. 3/10 merely Gowland's.

Sir Thomas Bertram - Poor Fanny, her father figures are both the pits. Sir Thomas knows absolutely zero about what any of his kids are like and can't see how bad Aunt Norris's influence is on all of them. He swings wildly between neglectful and overbearing, and then tries to pressure Fanny into marrying Henry Crawford despite his attentions making her visibly miserable. He also knows perfectly well that Fanny is shy, and yet does not give her any warning that he's throwing a ball for her coming out, plus he sends her home to Portsmouth as a sort of weirdo punishment to make her see what she's missing by not marrying Henry. 2/10 points and he really only gets these for 1. offering to free Maria from her engagement and 2. getting a fire in Fanny's grate, even if he left it until WAY too late to do her much good.

General Tilney - the closest Austen gives us to a villainous parent. The General is dictatorial to his children, oppressive around the house and occasionally creepy towards Catherine. This is made apparent by the fact that the Abbey suddenly becomes much more fun when he goes off to London. He shows himself the ultimate Bad Dad by tossing his daughter's friend out of the house without explanation and hardly the resources to get herself home. 0/10 Gothic Tyrant Dad.

[eldritch-elrics]

list of moments in silent hill 2 that made me insane today (also just general thoughts)

the fucking quiz show??? just like a full uninterrupted minute. it's so jarring it killed me

the pyramid head chase - significantly scarier than his boss fight earlier. ohhhhh man. love how he keeps catching up to you despite how fast you can run

"He who is not bold enough to be stared at from across the abyss is not bold enough to stare into it himself."

the famous silent hill historical society stairs!!!!! also that entire building is very cool. i love the idea of literally locking away a town's history for one's own peace of mind

the number of holes you have to jump down....... really loved that. big fan.

soooo much symbolism going on with that one puzzle in the prison. first of all, you've got the drawing of the 2 pyramid heads hanging a guy, and given that the pyramid head portrait in the historical society called him the "remains of the judgement," it seems like judging sinners is his kinda thing

also, you've got the tiles representing 3 sins - the oppressor, the seductress, and the glutton - i BET the oppressor stands for angela's "weak point," the seductress for james's, and the glutton for eddie's. all three of them are being driven mad by the town somehow supernaturally manifesting their vulnerabilities...

THE CUTSCENE WITH MARIA IN THE PRISON CELL MADE ME CRAZYYYYY WHAT THE HELL

first of all oh my god this is just like my favorite novel solaris by stanislaw lem... countless doubles of your dead wife...

god the fact that she doesn't remember the nightmare hospital. then "don't you want to touch me?" "i don't know" god. fuck. god.......

i had a whole lot more to say about the labyrinth section but im gonna make that its own post actually. anyway. angela...... her reason for being afraid of james...... and then maria WAUGH

also unfortunately im the kind of person who has to visit like every room in the labyrinth to be satisfied. so that took a lot of time

it's so interesting how everyone's like "james i bet you didn't REALLY love your wife" ... it's like. damn is this just his worst nightmare come to life or is this going somewhere??

seeing that the final deep hole was james's grave made me YELL. the vibes of this whole thing are soooooo good

also eddie :( his whole story arc feels a bit weak to me but it definitely fits the overall vibe of like, silent hill toying with characters' vulnerabilities

okkkk i stopped after the eddie fight but god james is going Through it. why is he suddenly questioning maria's death. man this game is so good

i'll hopefully finish it sometime soon!! no spoilers!!!!

[lizzieisright]

Okay just a little thing about characters in my Marvel AU: (I kidnapped Acrane women for it. Again)

Original six:

Captain America!Abby. She is untrusting but honourable, worn out already: the new world is foreign and weird and her adjustment is still ongoing. She still dresses like her time, but if Steve looked like a grandpa Abby just looks like your friendly neighbourhood lesbian. Fun fact! She had a small guy named Steve to teach her grandma computer courses. He also taught her how to not get tracked on the web.

Iron Man!Ellie. Cocky, explosive, genius. Lost her mom and Joel after a stupid fight, got angry and started building weapons because of it. After being captured and almost dying gets back into her mom's vision of Williams Industries and starts building things to help people, and because she is a fucking Ellie Williams she is as rich as before.

Black Widow!Reader. You're a Russian assassin who escaped to the US after getting on a bad side with a lot of people in Europe. Let's just say Shield missions to Europe are a big pain in your ass. You put up a polite smily front because your grim attitude is not something Americans appreciate. (Guess who will)

Hawkeye!Manny. He is just a funny guy who saved your ass back in Europe and because I wanted to have one guy on a team the same way they only had Natasha. Manny doesn't have a secret family on the side, he is just there making a little team of cold blooded sarcastic assassins with you. You don't need to smile as much around him.

Thor!Vi. Got sent to Earth for punishment and instead fell in love with the little world. She is still visiting her friend Darcy and gives her incredibly crazy love advice from time to time.

Hulk!Caitlyn. This one doesn't really make sense, but the comedic potential is good. ("How many PhDs does Hulk have? Zero! I have seven" with Thor!Vi by her side can you imagine?). Caitlyn was too curious about Abby's story and tried to recreate the serum but ended up becoming a giantess who almost destroyed Harlem. She is very awkward and nervous, and hates being lied to. Tried to get away from gamma-radiation research and went away to help the poor with her medical skills.

Now others:

Fury!Sevika. Because these people need someone with no bullshit attitude. Sevika is constantly tired and smokes so much it's a miracle her lungs work. She is tough and doesn't tolerate anyone's shit. We don't know her story and we actually shouldn't.

Loki!Jinx. It's in the name. Vi's little sister who adored her, but when the time came to choose between her and humanity Vi chose humanity. And then it turned out her hair is blue for a reason and Jinx is not only adopted but also the child of an enemy. Jinx is out for revenge. She plans to destroy Earth with everyone on it to get Vi and then destroy Asgard to get Vander. (Also the comedic potential of Caitlyn repeatedly slamming Jinx into the floor)

Pepper!Dina. The only person who can make Ellie do something she doesn't want to. Dina gets shit done and done brilliantly.

Maria Hill is now also a Coulson and gets paid double.

[mayiwritesomething]

Love Is an Unfamiliar Name (Pt. 4)

Wordcount: 3,4k

A/N: What do you do when the line begins to blur? A bit longer chapter that got quite a cheesy 80s vibe (sorry haha), as the reader finally stops holding her back 🥹

Warnings: a very brief teasing moment but no big deal.

PART THREE

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…That is Jupiter

After five months of nonstop work, the sound department finally received a much-needed week-long break. Considering your team has been working even during periods without shooting, everything was running smoothly. With the change in location, your strategic planning, and most of all: teamwork, you were all able to take a well-deserved rest. Timmy had joined the set this month to provide assistance, adding to the familiar faces of Jenny and your as you call; new best friend, Pedro. You were pleased to see that Tim and Pedro got along.

Excitement bubbled within you for the upcoming weekend. With Timmy staying over, Amy planned to visit while her mother looked after the kids. Maria couldn't make it, as she was in Paris, living her second love story over the past five months. Despite her absence, you were not mad at her, as this time, you genuinely believed things would work out, especially since her new girlfriend seemed like a good person.

There was one person more excited than you—Jenny, the queen of event organization. In addition to assisting you, she had managed to arrange a Saturday night out, discovering a small pub in a neighboring city hosting an '80s/New Wave night. Jenny ensured that the entire group would attend, including Pedro, who then persuaded May and Lauren to join. What started as a casual night out for four people quickly escalated into an event that overwhelmed you, causing you to abandon checking the group chat upon seeing over ten people confirming their attendance at Jenny's Mad Night.

"Jenny, what the fuck?" You exclaimed, slightly irritated. "I thought we were going for a low-key night out, not this big event shit. Come on, I'm too old for this; I just want... you know... Sit down, sing, drink a little bit, and relax." You sank back into the sofa.

"Come oooon, the 30s are the new 20s," Jenny retorted, still typing away. You noticed she had mentioned you in the group chat and posted a picture of you lounging on the sofa like melted ice cream, with the caption, "Night at the retirement house."

"Stop being so grumpy! Even Pedro, who always finds an excuse to skip our outings, confirmed he is going," she paused, a mischievous smile forming on her lips. "Quite coincidentally, right after I mentioned that you were going too."

Rolling your eyes, you heard the group chat notification sound. Jenny giggled in anticipation. "There she goes," you muttered. Another message popped up, this time from Pedro: “Sounds great, may I join in?”. You blushed and responded with the sleepy emoji.

"Poor guy," Jenny mused to herself before turning back to you. "Why did you do that? Sending a sleepy emoji? You just left the poor guy hanging in a group chat with like ten people."

Another message from Pedro appeared—a broken heart emoji. Panicking, you attempted to explain to Jenny, "No! I meant the sleepy emoji, like I was actually sleeping. You said it was a retirement house, so I thought... 

Another notification chimed, this time from Jenny: "Pedro, there's always space for you. We can kick her out, you're much nicer."

 

One more notification, a private message from Timmy: "Are you kidding me?"

Amy's message then appeared: "What's your problem?”

Suddenly, a message popped up in your girls' group chat. Jenny had sent a screenshot of your response to Pedro, captioned "no mercy for the wicked." Maria's reaction was a simple "OMG," while Amy expressed confusion with an "I wish I could understand."

Feeling foolish, you decided to send him a private message. "Hey, you don't have to ask to join, as my friend, you can always drop by," you wrote. His response was a simple, "Ok, buddy, got it." 

Part of you struggled with the realization that the line of your friendship was starting to blur, and you were hesitant to accept it, fearing it could ruin the amazing relationship you shared. Yet, another part of you felt that shit already went down, and you actually wanted him to be by your side on the same sofa where you now lay. After checking your phone repeatedly, there were no notifications. Five minutes passed with still no word.

"Shit!" you cursed as Jenny retreated to her room, leaving you alone.

 

-

As Saturday night approached, you hadn't seen Pedro yet, but Lauren informed you that he and the girls would meet you at the pub, as you all needed to arrive early to secure the reservations. "He won't go," you thought to yourself. "He's too stubborn not to," you added. Either way, what are you going to do about it? 

Sending a blurry road picture to the group chat with the message "On our way," you actually intended it for Pedro alone, as you both shared a habit of exchanging random daily situation pictures.

“Still waiting for Princess May.” Lauren said.

“We’ll be leaving in 30 minutes.“ Jeff, one of your crew members, sent.

However, there was still no sign of Pedro.

 

You were feeling yourself this night, wearing a black long-sleeve short dress paired with fancy combat boots and a windbreaker. Your hair was left loose, you wanted to feel comfortable singing along to all the Tears for Fears and Depeche Mode songs that would be played. But you couldn’t stop thinking about the fucking sleepy emoji.

Upon arriving at the pub, you, Jenny, and Amy raised your glasses in a toast to your friendship, Maria’s new lover and Amy's rare day off from the chaos of motherhood. Jenny, the beer nerd, was deep in her hops, while Amy preferred the smoothness of gin. Despite not being a regular drinker, you opted for an old-fashioned that you knew wouldn't last long in your hand. Minutes later, the rest of your crew arrived, but Pedro and the girls were still nowhere to be seen, fueling the anxiety coursing through your veins. However, the mood shifted as the cover band kicked off their set with Alice Cooper.

 

Jenny had chosen the perfect spot, where you could blend in without drawing attention. On the other hand, Timmy was stopped twice by fans, but he handled it with ease. The music ignited something within you—a primal urge to scream along with the chorus, the whiskey fueling your veins as you felt Alice was talking to you through the lyrics. Amy joined in, screaming with you:

 

“I wanna love you but I better not touch (don't touch)

I wanna to hold you, but my senses tell me to stop

I wanna to kiss you but I want it too much (too much)

I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison “

 

You were headbanging to the music, caught up in the moment, and instinctively hugged Jenny as she joined in.

"I should hug you more often, Jen," you felt the need to say.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a laugh. "You've had like two drinks and turned into a lovey-dovey girl... What's going on?" sensing your disappointment.

"Physically, I'm feeling great. Emotionally... well... it hurts, Jen," you admitted, drawing closer as she struggled to suppress her laugh, knowing you were being sincere. The alcohol had a way of making you more vulnerable. "I can feel he won't show up."

"If he doesn't come, that's his loss. Tonight is about us," she reassured you, pulling you into a comforting hug. "May said they were coming," she observed, studying your expression. "You know, you don't always have to keep up this icy facade. It's okay to show your true feelings. It's better than self-sabotaging. If he does show up, talk to him."

"He ignored me, Jen," you confessed, feeling a bit lightheaded.

"Let's not forget who dumped him in a group chat," she reminded you.

"I didn't mean it that way. I texted him, and he just brushed everything off with an 'huh okay, got it buddy,'" you imitated him. 

"Then talk to him. It's not like you'll lose a limb or something. It could be good for both of you," Jenny suggested.

"You don't know how it feels, Jen," you said, now looking at your hands and gesturing. "One part of me wants to express my feelings, even if I can't understand them, and see where it leads. The other part doesn't want to risk losing what little I have now as being his friend" Tears welled up in your eyes. "It hurts too much, you know, the thought of losing it," you concluded as you took a sip of the remaining whiskey, now watered down with melted ice. "Gosh, I'm so stupid," you chuckled, a nervous laugh escaping your lips.

"You're just scared. We do silly things when we're terrified," Jenny reassured you, pulling you into another hug, her only desire to see you at peace.

Pedro and the girls arrived a few minutes after your heart-to-heart with Jenny. May seemed to need this night out as much as you did, and she wasted no time joining your group. Pedro, on the other hand, greeted everyone, including you, before heading over to the table with your crewmates.

As the night progressed, you and your friends belted out the lyrics to new wave classics, losing yourselves in the music. Determined to be responsible for your actions, you decided to go without any more drinks and opted for regular Coke to boost the sugar in your blood. Jenny's words about it being ”Girls night" echoed in your mind. 

However, you couldn't resist peeking over at the table from time to time. It seemed like Pedro was having a great time without you, and you couldn't help but feel a hint of disappointment. Deciding to take one last look, you noticed "Blue Monday" playing in the background. The universe has a twisted sense of humor.

 

“How does it feel, to treat me like you do?”

 

To your surprise, he was also glancing in your direction. You raised your glass, offering a smile, but his response was a cold raise of his own glass. So fucking stupid.

“Are you happy now?” Amy teased, breaking the tension.

“Well, kind of,” you replied, chuckling as you turned back to your friends.

“Hey! Look, now's your chance,” Jenny urged you on as if she were coaching you for a competition.

“What for?” You were puzzled.

“He just went outside, stupid! Probably for a smoke. Go after him!” Jenny insisted. “I just saw it! Go.” She was more observant than you.

“I don’t want to smoke, didn't even bring anything.” You hesitated, feeling nervous.

“That's not a problem,” Jenny assured you, effortlessly securing a cigarette from a nearby guy. "Now, go!" She handed you the cigarette, taking on the role of a matchmaker. You felt like a teenager.

Despite your initial hesitance, you summoned a false sense of confidence and left the circle of girls to follow him outside. In that moment, you momentarily forgot about his public persona as you sought him out in a quiet corner, where he stood gazing up at the sky. Approaching him slowly, you finally stood by his side and nervously asked, "Got fire?" 

At first, he appeared annoyed, but as he recognized you, a wide smile lit up his face. "Here you go," he offered you the lighter.

"Oh, I don't need it," you declined, gesturing with your hand. "I just wanted an excuse to talk to you, silly," you admitted, mustering up the most confident expression you could manage.

"As my friend, you can always come by," he replied with a chuckle, returning his gaze to the sky. You felt the ironic tone. "The sky here is out of this world,” he said. “You can see every single star."

"And some planets too," you added. "I can see Mars," you said, focused on the night sky. "Jupiter... and Venus, I believe."

"Really?" He seemed genuinely surprised. "Can you show me?" One thing you admired about him was his curiosity for learning from others, a trait you initially misjudged as mere flattery. But over time, you came to realize his genuine interest in people.

"Yes!" Your excitement was visible, as the night sky was your passion. “Excuse me,” you said, moving quite closer and extending your arm by his side. "Look,” you pointed. “Just follow my finger. Do you see that one of those stars seems to be red? That’s Mars, near Sagittarius. And that bright light is Venus," you explained, his attention fixed on you. "Jupiter is a bit trickier, but see that spot right after the moon?" Turning to face him, you noticed his mesmerized expression at you. "Well… uhm… That... that is Jupiter," you concluded, your eyes turning back to the sky.

"Wow," he said, genuinely impressed. "You're like a fucking walking encyclopedia. Is there anything you don't know?"

"Aparently, to make you understand me," you whispered, looking down. "I know I can be messy and mix things up. I understand if you want to... or if you don't..." Your words seemed to falter, as if you had forgotten how to speak coherently.

"No, I'm sorry if I... I mean... that..." he struggled to find the right words, mirroring your own confusion. In your mind, you feared he was trying to gently dump you.

Taking a deep breath to gather your thoughts, you finally spoke. "I like... you know… being your friend. I don't want to ruin it,". Finally, a confession.

"I guess we already have," he replied, looking deeply into your eyes. With a shy smile and a lingering gaze, he added, "I mean... ruin it… It's been a while already." What the hell?

So at this very moment, your heart raced so rapidly that you could feel your face flush. Little did you know, he was experiencing the same feeling, as both of you remained locked in a silent, intense gaze. The desire between you was palpable, yet mingled with apprehension—were you risking it all?

Your body rebelled against your mind's caution, yielding to impulsive impulses. Taking a step forward, you found him still fixed on you, his gaze flickering to your lips briefly, yet he made no move. "Fuck it," you cursed internally as your hand gently landed on his shoulder, met once again with no response.

"Forget it," you murmured, getting closer and closing your eyes as your lips brushed his tenderly. Upon opening your eyes, you saw his were still shut. Sensing his gentle hand on your back, bringing you closer, you felt a smile grace his face. "Forget it," he echoed, cupping your neck and leaning in to reciprocate the kiss. This time, his embrace tightened, and you instinctively wound your arms around his neck, surrendering to the sensations—the touches, the gazes, the escalating intensity of the kiss. Starting leisurely, it soon ignited into a fervent exchange, each moment feeling both like the first and the last, punctuated by shared gasps for air and tender interludes between fervid kisses.

In that transcendent moment, you both lost yourselves in each other, oblivious to your surroundings and the passage of time. What ensued felt far more enduring and profound than a mere shared smoke break.

“Is this a dream?” He said, giggling between kisses, “You have no idea how long I’m expecting this,” his hands playing around your back.

"Pedro, you don’t have to play this ‘I always had a crush on you’ role,” you said, trying to maintain sanity. “I don’t believe a word.” You pretended to be mad, but you couldn’t stop smiling.

"Oh, I forgot you're the cold one,” he said as his hands went a little further down your back, giving you goosebumps. “You almost got me gaving up you know. Lucky for me, I didn’t…” You could feel his heat on your core.

“And I forgot you are aaalways the charmer.” You moved your hips into him, teasing back as he kissed you again.

Lost in the moment, a sparkle of apprehension appeared. “Pedro!” you stopped.

“Whatever you want,” he murmured.

“Let’s keep this between us, right?” You asked aprehensively, “At least for now.”

“As you wish,” he was in ecstasy by the situation, so you were sure he didn’t understand a word.

"Pedro,” you said, stepping back. “I’m real! Just imagine if people find this out while we're still filming; I’ll be the one they'll talk about—It took me a while to be taken seriously, and I don’t wanna mess this up.” 

"Babe,” he said, dragging you back to him. “Why do you rationalize everything?” He kissed your neck as you were melting in his arms. “Could you just enjoy the moment?” You could feel his smile as he whispered to your ear, “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

You turned to face him again. “I don’t rationalize. I just…” You couldn't resist the puppy eyes waiting for your answer, so you kissed him back again, but this time you heard your name. Amy. Fuck.

"Oh my fucking god, Timmy!" she exclaimed, as she and Timmy were frozen in place.

"I told you, baby! I knew it!" Tim seemed as if he had just won the lottery.

"Guys, look..." you began, trying to explain as you adjusted your hair. "This is not what you're thinking. We were just… talking, that's all."

"Babe, they are not blind," Pedro said, looking a bit dazed as his hands rested on your waist. Sensing his touch, you took a step back, away from him. He chuckled.

"Did he just call you babe? No way." Amy was still processing the situation. Tim laughed at your sudden movement.

"We definitely are not blind, and no one takes a 40-minute cigar break kiddo... and I see no cigarettes here," Timmy remarked, taking a sip of his beer.

"40 minutes?" You were taken aback. You glanced at Pedro, who simply shrugged and tried to draw you back into his arms. "Wait," you told him firmly, and although he seemed a bit out of it, he respected your request.

"40 damn minutes since you left, then Timmy suggested that maybe you both were here making out, so we came to check," Amy said with a giggle.

"But relax, guys. This was just between us. We didn't say anything to the others," Tim reassured, his tone serious.

"Damn," you muttered quietly. Pedro's gaze lingered on your body as if he could see right through your clothes. "Hey, look at me!" you demanded, now feeling annoyed.

"Sorry," he turned to face you, smiling, his head spinning.

"Well, guys, if you want to continue your make-out session, you should finish at the hotel," Amy suggested. "It will seem weird if both of you just disappear."

"Yeah, Pedro here waited six months; he won't die waiting a few more hours," Timmy added, patting Pedro's shoulder. They both laughed, and you felt yourself blushing. Wait! How did he knew that?

"You see how mean she can be, man? The day didn’t even got to an end and I already got dropped in a group chat, and now I'll be left here," Pedro teased, looking at you. 

"Here he comes," you said, rolling your eyes. "He needs to provoke me, or his day isn't complete."

"Because I love to see you getting angry," Pedro said, hugging you. "It's soooo easy to get under your skin," he whispered in your ear.

"Get a room, you two," Amy joked, glancing at the door to see if anyone was coming outside. Spotting Jenny and Jeff leaving together, you and Amy received a message in the girls' group chat. "Leaving with Jeff, loved the night, see you tomorrow ;)"

 

Feeling the need to leave, you decided to go back inside as if nothing had happened. The pub was buzzing with excitement as Depeche Mode blared through the speakers. You and Amy rejoined the girls, while Pedro followed Timmy and sat back at the table. You both chose to keep your distance as the night progressed.

As the evening continued, all of you enjoyed the rest of the night at the small pub. The staff eventually approached you, kindly asking you to leave as they needed to close up.

You left with Amy and Timmy as everyone made their way home, including Pedro, May, and Lauren. In the car, you felt your phone vibrating. It was a message from Pedro: "My room or your room? We have unfinished business." Considering the location of your rooms, his seemed like the better option in case there was any noise, as he was on a way better side of the hotel. "Yours. I'll drop by when I arrive. Friend," you replied, holding back the urge to express how much you already missed his touch, choosing to convey it in person instead.

“You don't have to dream it all, just live a day

Don't say a prayer for me now

Save it 'til the morning after”