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#like fair play it was a solid episode! bit all over the place but my god is Ncuti Gatwa a good Doctor
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Steven Moffat had like 3 separate metaphors he figured he could put in a Doctor Who episode some day and got given exactly one (1) episode to do it all in
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utilitycaster · 5 months
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@rowzeoli replied to your post “@rowzeoli replied to your post “Do you think part...”:
There's a lot to tackle on this so I'll do my best to cover it all! So I totally get where you're coming from and to be fair yes there are some things in old articles that I don't agree with any more in deeming people having done things "first" which is part of the issue of not having a collective historical memory around actual play as it moves so quickly. Most of the issue isn't that readership is down it's that AI and venture capitalism is destroying journalism
Hey, sorry for taking a bit to respond; it's been a hectic week and I wanted to give it some thought and time.
I'll start off with the good: I really do, again, appreciate you engaging here, and on the strength of that alone I am going to at least give Rascal's free articles a good solid chance for a while; I have been, admittedly, tarring it with the brush of a lot of frustrations (see below) and I know it's relatively new and still finding its place and should get a bit more of my patience. I also should note that while your article did hit on a lot of the patterns that have turned me - and no small amount of others - off of a lot of AP/TTRPG journalism it is by no means the worst example. The things you credited Burrow's End for are, admittedly, more obscure single-episode events within a huge body of work. Or in other words: there are bylines in the space that make me go "oh this is going to be bad" and yours is not one of them.
With that said: I'm sorry, but Polygon's bias is not a matter of time crunch or lack of funding. There is no way that a time crunch or lack of funding would consistently, over years (this was already word on the street at latest when EXU Calamity came out almost 2 years ago) result in a message of "D20 can do no wrong, and Critical Role rarely does right." If it were throwing out harsh criticism or glowing praise for a wide variety of shows, sure, that seems like it could come from not having a lot of time...but this goes beyond coincidence. It's a reputation that long precedes your entry into the field. As some others in the replies have noted, I might have written the most about it on Tumblr, but it's at this point not an uncommon observation. This also isn't an issue for other publications in a similar "nerd stuff" space - there's plenty of articles on, say, Dicebreaker or Comicbook.com that I don't care for, either because I disagree with the opinion or I think the analysis isn't really worthwhile, but those tend to at least have a mix of positive and critical articles about most shows. When I said you could treat Polygon articles like Madlibs, I meant it. And so I think it's great that you are no longer chasing "groundbreaking", for example, is not a solid ground for an article, but this also is showing me that even relatively new journalists are, very early on, starting with this exact formula. In some ways, that's more damning.
I do also want to add that I'm again, sympathetic to the lack of resources and to coming into a field with passionate and nitpicky fans who have been here for years. Not knowing about a single Critical Role one-shot from 2018 is something that I'd have been much more lenient about if it weren't hitting those repetitive notes of "D20 is great/this thing is groundbreaking/look at the production values." But the other article I posted, also from Polygon but not written by you, is, to be honest, pretty inexcusable. I get there's a lot of lost institutional memory...but either being unaware of, or ignoring the fact that there are a huge number of long-running actual play podcasts that play longform campaigns? That's pretty much on par, in terms of whether your audience trusts you, of the New York Times international news desk not being able to locate Russia on a map (though obviously with far less serious real-world ramifications). (The fact that this was written by a prominent actual play scholar meanwhile is like, I don't know, Neil DeGrasse Tyson not knowing how gravity works, but that's a separate topic).
And again, I get these are your colleagues. I have the luxury of being able to run my mouth without putting my livelihood at stake, and that's not true for people within the industry. I do not expect you to say anything ill about them, nor would I judge any specific individual for getting published in Polygon since I get that people are pitching to a number of sites so that they can get paid! But when I say "Polygon's AP/TTRPG coverage is at needs-a-change-of-leadership levels of bad" I am not alone in this, and it's something that has probably been true for easily 3+ years if not longer. Because it's one of the more prominent publications in the space (ironically, due to Justin McElroy of TAZ being a founder, and the fact that its videogame division is quite good and has had some viral videos, it had enviable name recognition among AP fans that it's only squandered since) it really is at a point where hitting that same formula in any AP journalism - claiming everything is groundbreaking, putting an emphasis on high production values, D20 good and CR bad - makes fans go "oh, more of this bullshit." I don't want to say you can't talk about these things - I definitely do not want to say that you cannot criticize Critical Role - but that specific well is has been poisoned for a long time. If someone hits these points it feels, whether or not it is true, that they're trying to be provocative by going against popular fan opinion, but are simultaneously just saying the same thing we've seen a million times before.
I believe wholeheartedly that from your perspective the competition is AI - and I don't want AI articles either. On the other hand, in terms of what I think fans who are in my position are turning to, it's not AI articles (I'm certainly not). If I want analysis, I'm probably, at this point, going to social media; I am not the only person who writes longform meta or analysis for fun, and I'll seek others who do out. I'm not personally a video essay person, but plenty are, and that's out there too. I'm not going there for reporting on news (I think the Dnd Shorts OGL debacle made it clear that actual journalists are very necessary) but yeah, if I want criticism or analysis? I'm going there instead, especially since there often is that missing institutional memory. If I do want journalism, at this point, some of the bigger shows are getting writeups in less niche publications, particularly Critical Role and D20, as is news of more major tabletop games. It's infrequent and it doesn't highlight indie works, but it tends to be, if nothing else, lacking in major errors or obvious bias. If I want to hear from cast members, at least four of the shows I watch or listen to have regular talkback shows, and Dropout regularly talks to AP/TTRPG figures on Adventuring Academy, and a lot of those shows take viewer questions. Which, again, probably not heartening to hear the competition is even tighter, but I guess my point is I hope it's possible, even with very limited resources, to move away from the above "novelty and production values above all" pattern because even that would do a lot of needed work to rebuild reader trust - and I'm going to be checking out Rascal in the hopes that it can.
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The Great Big List of Stories!
My brain is full of tribbles, and this writeblr is not just for original fic. Also AO3 bios are very small so I can't list potential/unwritten fic ideas there.
Original Series:
The Sisterlands Sequence/Ylonaverse: My big original baby, where most of my OCs have their origins, or found a place to rest. Very long, and still growing! It has evolved a lot over the years and I have consequently restarted the drafting process a number of times.
Tulatia: My series of original fairy tale retellings, where I come up with my own completely unique spins on my favourite stories from childhood and later. Will include adaptations of The Twelve Dancing Princesses, The Wild Swans, Brother and Sister, Iron John, Snow-White and Rose-Red, Dwarf Longnose (with the antisemitism stripped away and the cool stuff I actually liked left behind), Princess Belle-Etoil, The Singing, Springing Lark and others.
The Big List of Fanfics I Still Intend to Write:
The Maginite Chronicles, which has it's own sideblog specifically for it here: @themaginitechronicles
Shadows of Deltora, a Yu-Gi-Oh/Deltora Quest crossover
Daughters of the Forests of Silence, a Sevenwaters/Deltora Quest crossover
Of Peacekeepers and Pokémon, a Pokémon/Farscape crossover
Tales of Domino and Darthania, including Wild Swans of Domino and its sequels. Yu-Gi-Oh-based fairy tale retellings
Yugi and the Faraway Tree, Yu-Gi-Oh/Faraway Tree series crossover
Of Shells and Wings, Gargoyles/TMNT (2003 continuity) crossover
Of Beasts and Roses, Disney's Beauty and the Beast sequel fic, in which the curse is transferred onto Gaston and he becomes the focus of a Sno-White and Rose-Red retelling
Sisko'Brien Salamanders, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine AU of the Voyager episode Threshold that got way out-of-hand
Family Defiant, a series of fairy tale retellings centred around the Deep Space Nine cast, radiating out from Seven for a Secret
The Emissary, the Avatar, and the Children of Fire, a DS9/A:TLA crossover
My Compliments to the Captain, wholesome DS9 fic where Sisko makes food for Odo while he is solid.
Dominion Studies Major, in which I demonstrate how the DS9 writers could have sold us the Kiraodo ship if they hadn't been cowards (also known as the canon-compliant Changeling Kira fic)
Turnabout Is Fair Play, A Sisko-Dukat bodyswap fic.
Dungeons, Dragons and Q, a trilogy of fics in which Q and his son shove my three favourite Trek casts into DND campaigns to play them out from the inside.
Star Trek: Galactic Warp, my own idea of a Star Trek series set in the 26th century (from before New Trek took off).
And more stuff is being added all the time. My brain is just like that.
I have also been known to occasionally write for the Infinite Loops project, though its restrictions make things a bit less fun for me. Which is probably why I flung myself so hard into the alternate timelines of the Maginaverse (see that sideblog for more information).
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fredcasden · 2 years
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Good afternoon everyone,
Last night's stream opened up with DKO Divine Knockout, and while I unlocked Zeus, my main go was to continue leveling up Athena as I intend get all of her unlocks first before I focus on other characters. Did have a rough night of playing overall, while we won a fair amount of matches, it seems I was being double teamed quite often! We did unlock one achievement in it, and came close on another.
Next we switched over to Ghostbusters Spirits Unleashed, and somehow we had a match that lasted exactly 60 seconds. Not sure exactly what happened, but it was totally weird. Had a few great captures, knocked off some in game quests.
Lastly, we loaded up the Xbox 360 version of Sonic & All-Star Racing Transformed, which is a game that has been featured on my Twitch channel in prior years, but it was the Steam version. By playing the 360 version, it means I can unlock the achievements, and my progress playing the game and unlocking characters, courses and other stuff can be featured every now and then.
Now remembering how to play took a bit of remembering, as I went right to my old favorite racers Ulala (from Space Channel 5) and I totally forgot how her cart handled. Something different from how I used to play the Steam version was that I had little trouble dealing with inverted flight controls, guess I've gotten better with those aspects of gaming over the years. Even did fairly well in playing against other players in match making, granted I never placed higher than 4th, but I felt like I could more often than not finish a race in a multiplayer setting.
For the raid we dropped in on Kalenal while they were playing Final Fantasy XIV over at twitch.tv/kalenal!  
Divine Knockout Achievements
Destructive: Achieved 'Destructive'
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed Achievements
Scud Racer: Finished 1st in a Race without getting hit by weapons
Magic Second: Finished 0.5 seconds ahead of an opponent in a Race
You Got The Horn: Levelled-up a character
Parts Shop: Won an event with a Mod equipped
Crack Down:  Got a total of 20 hits with weapons in a Race
Meteor Strike: Collected 10 Stars in World Tour
Catcher Pitcher: Absorbed a weapon with the Glove and fired it back at your attacker
Welcome To The Fantasy Zone: Finished 1st in a Grand Prix tournament
Racing Transformed: Turned All-Star
Stream Clip Links
Taking the Double Knockout!
My Box!
The Catch and The Pitch!
Mom was eating a little more solid food, in fact my day started yesterday with her saying she wanted corn flakes for breakfast. It does seem like she is getting some of her appetite back. We are raising money to help cover her medical expenses which does now include a two week hospital stay, donations can be made at https://gofund.me/6adf8354
Finished writing the 12th Mass Effect commissioned story yesterday, and was given options for the 13th episode, but I let the client make the choice of what they would prefer. I've been having a lot of fun writing these little tales.
Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Beginner Combo #1, Weaving Combo #1 and Body Hook Combo for 28 minutes.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Song of the Day: Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
For tonight's stream, it's Sunday night which means Overwatch 2 is on deck! So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!
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risu5waffles · 2 years
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The next whack of 10 in the Archive
This reminds me of how i'd used to do recap episodes every 10levels i looked at on LittleBite-sizedPlanet, so i could take the earliest set of 10 off my playlist. Fell out of doing that when lbp.me went tits up, and collecting links in one place stopped being doable. i like this format, tho'. Setting up the b-roll for 10levels all in one go was a real pain in the rear.
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i loved this level. Just well-presented enough to look like it was planned, just kludgy enough to still have heart, and a solid focus on pretty well-paced platforming. The difficulty was on the easy side of medium, which is a nice sweet spot for me to just play around wiv. i've never felt much need to really beat myself up just to flex on a superhard level.
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This was a pretty chonky, ambitious level for LBP1. Aside from the second fight wiv the security drones, there wasn't anything too difficult, but it felt expansive, and it's really well presented (except for some issues wiv Magic Mouths, where you couldn't cycle through them if you'd missed something; i think that's LBP3 mucking things up, it's a pretty consistent issue playing LBP1 levels in it). It's maybe a touch too big to come back to often, but i had myself a good time wiv it.
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i had a hard time deciding to share this level or not. i'm not embarrassed of it or anything, i think i did a pretty good job for not knowing what i was doing (even tho' there are a few jokes that will only make sense if you were teaching at Nova when it was going bankrupt in 2007, which is a vanishingly small audience). The issue is, 2008 was still very much in The Before for me, it would still be 11years before i really figured my stuff out. i didn't know if i wanted to share the secret (well, one of the secrets) in the level, since it's a message from a me that only kind of still exists to my ex-wife, but the sentiment, if not the speaker, is the same. And if it's going to be a real archive, i have to show as much as i'm able to do.
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A tropical-themed level that doesn't use the Tiki kit? Be still my beating heart. Seriously, tho', that's a good kit, but it gets overplayed. This is a nice little level in what feels like should be called early-LBP2 standard, which sounds like i'm being backhanded, but there's a certain style you'd run into all over in that era of levels that still really appeals to me. It's impossible, but i'd love to see, like, an academic broad and deep look into the trends in creating styles over the different eras of LBP's community life. What points you'd find in commonality and the like. Something like that would just curl my toes in all the right ways.
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This is such a weird one, even beyond it just being really weird. bing2go's levels are usually these really expansive, beautiful pieces of art, wiv a heavy reliance on custom stickers, like really make you sit up and pay attention jobs, and then one day they felt like doing some creating wiv their nephew and we get this masterpiece. i honestly love it to bits.
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We talked about this one last week, but just go and compare this to Roasting Oranges 2! up top and see how much difference a bit over a year made for LBP levels (tho', these are different creators, so that's not entirely a fair comparison, but i do think the community in general had moved solidly in a forward direction in that time).
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This is such a good one. The presentation isn't quite as tight as what we saw in Wooden Castle in the previous batch of 10 (tho', i have to say, i love that glossy red wood material, i don't think i've ever seen anyone else use it as a main ingredient like we see here), but i think it does a better job of keeping the pace up, and keeping the mechanical and gameplay interactions front and center. Some nice use of Wall Jumps too. You can do good work wiv that technique, but most times i see it used, it feels a little lazy? Fun side point, but if you ever see me just stop and do nothing for a bit midlevel, maybe just wave my arms a little, i'm probably grabbing the screenshot for the thumbnail. The thumbails/title page are all done in-game. Honestly, it's kind of fun, and i'm a little proud of this iteration on what i do for LittleBite-sized planet.
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This level feels like it would be much better served as part of a series of levels, it's very much a "here's how you play the game, here's simple platforming as translated through LBP." i don't want that to sound like a dig, that's actually a really good kind of level to have; but there are a lot of them floating around the community, and i always feel a little like, "this is great, now where's the follow up?" Like, i would never complain about the first couple of levels of the Gardens, but it'd feel a little weird if the game just stopped there, you know? i do like the presentation here, for the most part, it's very warm and low-stakes, you know?
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This one was a little charmer. The starting area was cute, and i really liked the SackThings just, kinda, lounging around the wharf? The shark was a nice touch too. Not a lot to say beyond i had a good time wiv it.
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Serious question, but is there any better material than basic cardboard at the end of the day? Battered Cardboard is up there, and it has the edge in that the colour is tweakable right from the chump, but i find myself coming back again and again to just regular old, humdrum cardboard. There's something very tactile about it, and it maybe best sells the original conceit that these are creations kids could make. This level is... it's fine. Honestly, it's fine. Probably could have used a little more playtesting, because i think some of the jumps are a bit fiddlier than it feels like was intended, but, eh... you know.
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allthegothihopgirls · 3 years
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!!!TWD 11x09 SPOILERS!!! twd 11x09: my take
!!! heavy spoilers for the latest episode of the walking dead !!!
now that twd is back, it’s time for me to start nit-picking every episode!! 
i managed to avoid spoilers completely this time round, did hear a couple people say stuff like “best episode since- ever” on reddit which got my expectations really high especially because of how critical people are on the subreddit usually. man i was impressed though.
fair warning, this rant is not in any particular order, so be prepared for a jumble of words. 
first off, GABRIEL MY MANNNN, jesus i was not prepared for that sniper scene. i paused my video for a solid 5 minutes with my jaw on the floor. throughout the past season-ish i’ve been seeing people say how awesome gabriel has become, and i’m just seeing that now. imo, yeah he had his scenes here and there, but i can TELL he’s gonna be like this for a while now which has me so hyped.
next, alden. when i saw callan mcauliffe’s name in the opening credits i had a bit of hope, even said to someone “mcauliffe in opening credits = alden alive??” i swear i’m actually blind it’s such a classic amc move, god it was so depressing. alden was one of my favourite characters and i really shouldn’t have had hope in the first place, i think i only wanted to believe he was still alive because i liked him so much, even though it was so illogical. my love for side characters is absolutely killing me, i’ve gotta starting liking some characters with plot armour fr. also what’s gonna happen to adam??
aaron and gracie. my HEART was in pieces that whole scene, i feel so much for the both of them. gracie is another case of “side-character syndrome” i have so much love for her but god she has zero plot armour. i was convinced someone was going to die, and even for a second thought it might have been aaron. i love aaron so much more after that, it really goes to show how far he’s moved on since we first saw him. honestly been loving his character so much since the amputation era. the whole lydia and aaron bond had me a little confused though as we haven’t really seen them together much on-screen. on a lighter note miss grimes was so badass in that scene??? but that conversation’s for another point.
leah. i haven’t liked her from the start, actually thought maggie was going to kill her and was so happy for a minute. maggie not going after her after daryl caught up really just proves that no one fucks with daryl still which is always good. i just REALLY hope we don’t see too much more of her. if anything i’d be fine with an episode where she reappears for the purpose of daryl’s character development at MOST, she doesn’t deserve a meaningful death.
miss not so little ass-kicker. judith has this reserved part of my heart always, she can do absolutely no wrong. her kicking those walkers heads in?? so badass, cailey plays her so well. also the loyalty she has to gracie is so sweet, protecting her over everything. gracie looks up to judith sm though and it has me slightly concerned because it’s something like that that gets side characters killed.
negan. my lord does he NOT want to fuck with maggie. that look he gave her after she did what she did really just said “yeah no i fully believe you every time you ever said you were going to kill me. holy shitballs what a psycho” which was hilarious. out of all mc’s, i think negan is likely to die. it was also EXTREMELY convenient that he left when he did.
in terms of maggie, i don’t really have much to say. i’m not too sure what to think of her at the moment, especially after the last scene with daryl. was cheering at the screen when she killed leah’s friends though.
now i wanna talk scenes.
the flashfoward - the trailer makes SO much more sense now, my train of thought was so messy trying to figure out how there was going to be all these plot lines in 16 episodes but now it’s so much easier to look at. maggie and daryl?? kinda getting flashbacks to michonne and maggie’s fight. and hoLY shit is that hilltop?? really invested to see who’s on what side, also wondering what happened to make daryl be on the commonwealth’s side as he’s usually against people like theirs.
negan and maggie - negan is making a comeback i’m calling it now. really conflicted by my own character biases on their situation. negan has always been a favourite, and i would really love to see him as a MAJOR mc again.
church scene - maggie’s emotion toward alden’s death really tells me that this front she’s putting on is only a facade, she’s not as strong as she’s making out to be. she’s gonna crash hard which might lead to the situation with daryl. she’s acting out of anger and protection of her ego which never ends well.
donnie reunion - love connie, one of my favourites but god i’m not going to stand the donnie stans. could make a whole other post about why they’re family not lovers, please just look at how he embraces her, that’s not what it would look like if he was in love with her.
lydia and negan reaction - lydia’s gonna go after negan i bet, her emotion was too disregarded in this episode for it not to come back up. either her or negan is going to die in the process and i think negan will be a big death this season for the shock factor. i’m gonna be really excited if lydia does get a bigger story.
last segment: predictions for the rest of the season
-negan and lydia plot -a kid dies -aaron death, either saving gracie or defending home -judith and daryl based episode -gabe dies (don’t want it to happen but i have a feeling) -a character conflicted on sides, either aaron or jerry -one of magna’s group dies -stephanie was not the real stephanie -rosita becomes a mother for judith / daryl becoming more focused on carol -rosita and eugene really awkward to watch scene -hershel jr in danger or dies
other:
by the end of the season, i believe that for the “carol and daryl riding into the sunset” theory to happen it needs to end one of two ways:
1. everyone else is either dead or status unknown, extremely unlikely. compromise to this option is everyone in the MAIN group is either dead or unknown status, commonwealth still potentially safe, maybe a major conflict.
2. everyone is safe or at least all plot lines have been tied, daryl and carol have another new mexico conversation, they both leave on good terms with everyone. still unlikely though. more likely it’s daryls choice, he leaves either in spite or in content-ness
it does raise a lot of questions though, what happens to judith in that situaton? (possibly rosita takes parental role?), who of the cast will be in the spin-off other than carol and daryl? etc.
if anyone has any ideas or discussion on any points i’ve missed, i would love to discuss them :))
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alovesongshewrote · 4 years
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If you’re taking requests, maybe something about Doux finding the reader absolutely delirious from lack of sleep? I may or may not have gotten literally any sleep last night and although I managed to get through my morning routine pretty efficiently I FEEL my body just wiping out. I will be comatose within the hour.
Sleep, Darling | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader
Plot:  you’ve been awake for too long and it is not doing you any favours.  Thank god for punk wizards who care about your wellbeing, amirite lads?  (Also, the pure Irony that this is getting posted at like, 2:40 am where i am, rip me i guess)
Word Count: 2,292
Warnings:  A bit of blood is mentioned in passing, the reader isn’t human and probably has adhd or smthn.  Also, Friends is mentioned, like, the tv show, so that’s a thing!
A/N:   if you look closely, you can actually see me projecting onto this one.  I hope you got some sleep anon.
Tags:   @furblrwurblr @einahpetsyarcip @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05
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Time isn’t real.  It’s a social construct made to bring order to the general chaos that is human existence.  That was why you were up at 5 a.m for the second, maybe third, night in a row.  Was it healthy?  Probably not, but you didn’t need sleep, you needed answers.  Answers to what?  Who knows at this point, honestly.
You couldn’t say you were surprised when you finally noticed the late, or early hour.  You just shrugged it off and went “fuck it, all-nighter,” which was fine for the moment.  But time’s a bitch, and that moment was over pretty fast.  By noon, you were ready to collapse.  The three cups of coffee did not help.  Instead, they made you vibrate at a frequency that could quite possibly break glass.  As much as this sucked for you, it was worse for your lovely friend and co-worker, Hisirdoux Casperan.
Now, our boi Douxie was and is madly in love with you, but shhh, it’s a secret.  You also love him, and that’s a secret too.  Neither of these secrets are well kept, and the only reason you aren’t together is general stupidity.  Literally, anyone else who watches the two of you interacting can tell that you're in love.  Hell, half the town assumes you’re together already.  The other half keeps trying to get you together.  It is not working very well.  But that’s all a digression.  What you really need to know is that Douxie loves you and watching you suffer from a lack of sleep was Not A Pleasant Experience.  You were delirious, shaky, and constantly off-balance.  You could work well enough, but it was clear that your health was not in the same zone.
The final straw came when you cut your hand on broken glass.  You’d dropped a cup, and instead of using magic, you’d tried to fix the mess by hand.  That plan did not work, and you received a bloody slash across your palm for your troubles.
“Ah.  Fuck,” you said, thinking you were whispering but instead speaking at a normal volume.
“What’s wrong, love?”
“‘S nothing, I’ve got it,” you did not got it, especially not in this state, and Douxie had the good sense to figure that out.  The blood was a pretty good hint though.
“Oh, fuzzbuckets.”
“I told you, I’m toooootally fine, there is nothing to worry about.”
“Here, (Y/N), let me help you-”
“No, no, this is, this is-” it was then that your sleep-deprived brain decided to cut off your train of thought and replace it with another, more chaotic train.  You stopped talking and just stared at Douxie for a solid minute.  Or at least it felt like a solid minute.  Time isn’t real, remember that.
“(Y-Y/N)?  You alright there, darling?”
“You’re really cute, did you know that?  Like… really cute.  Steve was right, you could be a model.”
“I-”
“Also, just gonna put it out there, I freakin’ love it when you call me darling.  Like, I know you call most people darling, but it makes me feel special.  Don’t ask why, it just does.”
Douxie wasn’t planning on asking why.  He wasn’t really planning on anything.  Your sleep-deprived half-confession had turned him from a capable individual into a blushing mess in less than a second.  You always had that effect on him, but it looked like your exhausted state was giving you a bit of an edge.
“Oh, sorry, I made it weird.  Anyway, do you think if I brewed my next coffee with Monster instead of water it would wake me up?   Because I’m still tired, and it isn’t fun.”
“I- you- I’m-”
“I think I might try it, honestly.”
“Ok, how about you don’t do that,”  Archie said, swooping in, literally and figuratively, to save the day, “Douxie, can you please get (Y/N)’s hand patched up?  It looks quite painful and they’re dripping blood onto the carpet.”
You were, in fact, dripping blood onto the carpet.  That wasn’t good, “Oh, that’s- I’m sorry.”
“Don’t fret, just go do something about that hand,” with that, Archie smacked Douxie upside the head in an attempt to snap him out of his flustered state.  It was super effective!
“Ahh, yeah.   C’mon, (Y/N), let’s,,, go,,, fix,,, that.”
“Ok,”  you stood, too tired to protest, and followed Douxie into the back of the bookstore, which was literally just his apartment.  
It was a nice place.  Very cozy, very him.  It made you want to curl up and take a nap, but to be fair, literally everything made you want to curl up and take a nap at the moment.  Regardless, his home made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and you never wanted to leave it.  Maybe it was the interior decorating, but you knew it was because your favourite person lived there.  What you didn’t know, or didn’t realize, was that you’d just spoken your entire thought process out loud and Douxie heard every word of it.  Once again, the boy was a blushing mess.  If you were awake enough to process things, you would have found it cute.  Or you’d be dead from embarrassment, that one is a bit of a toss-up.
Fighting through his flustered state, Douxie pulled you into the bathroom and collected a first aid kit from under the counter.  While he focused on getting things done, you curled into a ball in his bathtub.  For some reason, your exhausted brain decided that sitting on the edge of the bathtub simply did not Vibe™ but sitting inside the tub was better than nothing, and so you just,,, curled up there.  Douxie was only a little surprised to see you there.
“(Y/N)?”
“D’you remember that time on Friends when Winona Ryder played a closeted lesbian?  That was a fuckin’ trip, man.”
“(Y/N), darling-”
“That whole episode is just- it’s just strange.”
“(Y/N)-”
“Hehe, Stranger Things.”
“(Y/N), love, I need to see your hand.”
“Oh, fuck, yeah, I forgot.  Here,” you sat up, extending your hand out to the wizard.  He took it, sitting on the edge of the bathtub which was fine for him to do, I guess.  Not you though, you were stuck in bathtub jail for sleep deprivation crimes.
You squinted up at his face as he tended to the nasty scratch you’d given yourself.  You didn’t have the capacity to focus on what he was doing, so instead you focused on him.  He was pretty, as you’d said before, but that was always true.  At that exact moment, his brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes concerned and his jaw set.  His hands were steadier than yours could ever hope to be, especially since you hadn’t been sleeping.  Overall, he looked kind of mad, so you sunk down into your bath-prison, silent and waiting for him to finish so you could get back to work.
Douxie was not mad at you.  He was upset that you hadn’t been sleeping, but he wasn’t mad.  He was just worried for your health.  Your wizard did not appreciate seeing you shaking and sleep-deprived.  He didn’t appreciate it when your current state led you to injure yourself, either.
He wrapped up your hand and gave it a small pat, “Done.  Now, come on, you’re taking a nap.”
His voice surprised you.  It was gentle, calm, not at all angry like you’d suspected.  You found yourself so lost in it that you didn’t realize what he’d said until he said your name, trying to snap you out of whatever haze you were in.
“Oh, wait, what?  No, shit, I have to get back to work-”
“No, you need sleep.”
“Sleep is for the weak, I need to go-” you stood and almost fell over.  You probably would have broken something if Douxie didn’t catch you.  You hadn’t exactly expected to end up in his arms today, and despite the heat rising in your face and neck, you were not complaining.
“(Y/N)-”
“I’m sorry, Douxie, I-”
“You need to sleep.  Please, (Y/N), don’t make me use a spell on you.”
You froze for a second before a smirk crept onto your face, “You wouldn’t.”
“I-”
“You wouldn’t use a spell on meeeeee-” the smirk grew into a full smile as you let yourself go limp, forcing him to move his hands to support you better and pull you closer to him.  Was that your plan?  Maybe.  Was it part of a second, bigger plan?  Also yes.
“You wanna bet?”
“Sure.”
“I-” and then he went silent.  There was a moment of tension where you just stared into each other’s eyes, holding your breath to see what the other person would do.  Your gaze fell to his lips as his fell to yours.  For that moment, your thoughts began to wander far out of your control.  Douxie’s mind was also running rampant but in a different direction.  You were right, he thought.  He couldn't use magic on you.  As far as he knew, you were a human.  Just a mortal being who crawled their way into his life and stayed there, improving the quality of it greatly.  If there was even the slightest chance that a spell may have negative side effects, which most sleep spells did, he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially not on you.  He sighed, tightening his grip on your waist, “You’re right.”
“What?”  Oop, plan going sideways, PLAN GOING SIDEWAYS!
“I’m- not going to use magic on you,” he helped you to stand, and moved to take a step back before you grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back to you, ignoring the sharp sting in your hand.
“Ok, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on there wizard boy-” you took a moment to pull yourself out of the bathtub entirely, “You can’t give up that easily.”
“Wha-”
“Come onnnnnn, make it fun, make it exciting.  Put a spell on me or whatever, just-” you went quiet for a second, but for once you weren’t distracted.  Just quiet.  You had to face facts.  Your plan had failed, and now you had nothing but the truth.
“(Y/N)?”
“Just make my brain stop.  For just two seconds.”
“What?”
“Please.  I’m running on a motor and I can’t stop myself.  I haven’t slept and I have no choice in the matter.”
“(Y/N)-”
“Look, just, take away my free-will if you have to.  Knock me out, magic or otherwise, I just want five seconds where I’m not on hyperdrive,” you were standing on your own now, though Douxie’s arms were still wrapped around you and you hadn’t let go of his hoodie, “Please.”
The bathroom was silent for a minute.  It took that long for Douxie to process what you’d just said.  You feared, for that moment, that you’d said too much.  You hadn't.  Not to him, anyway.
“Come on.”
“What?”
“Come on,” he said, picking you up, effortlessly sweeping you off your feet.
“Wait, what!?” your voice was slightly more frantic, surprise lacing through your words.
“There’s more than one way to get a person to sleep.”
“Oh-?”
He didn’t respond to your question, instead, he carried you out the door and into what you could only assume was his room.  You had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life until he set you down on the bed.
“Stay here, okay?  I’m going to make you some tea-”
“Wait!” you stopped him, grabbing his wrist as he turned to leave, “I’m… I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, my darling,” he sat in front of you on the bed, “You just need to get some sleep, okay?”
“But what about-”
“I’ll cover your shift, you don’t need to worry.”
“I-”
“Just rest, for now, love.  Please.”
“Ok,” your words were a whisper, something that Douxie could only just hear.  The next thing though, he didn’t have to strain to hear at all, “Yeah.  I meant what I said earlier, by the way.  You’re so pretty, it isn’t fair.”
He laughed at this, at you, finally seeing some humour in your shenanigans.  He relaxed now knowing that you may actually get some much-needed rest.  He stood, kissing your forehead and tracing the side of your face with a hand, rough from guitar strings and 900 years of sweeping.
“Worry not, love, you’re pretty too.”
“Hey, wait-”
“Don’t ‘hey, wait,’ me.  You are.  Now lie down, I’ll be back in a second.”
A smile crept onto your face as you followed orders.  Your emo wizard man thought you were pretty.  And he cared enough about you to let you sleep during work hours, in his home, no less.  You let yourself relax into the bed, grinning once again.  It smelled like him, like thyme and peppermint, lemongrass and sleep.  It was nice, comforting.  You could only vaguely think of Douxie as your brain finally took a fuckin breather.  It was everything you needed, honestly.
By the time Douxie came back, you were long gone, lost to your dreams and finally asleep.  He sighed a smile that matched yours on his face.  He placed the cup of tea on the bedside table before grabbing a blanket out of his closet and draping it over you.  You looked so peaceful.  Good.  You deserved some peace every now and then.
He took the cup and left you, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes as he did.  After making his exit, he placed the still-hot tea on the counter, disregarding it for now before returning to the bookshop.
“How are they?”  his familiar asked, tail twisting in concern.
He gave a final fond look at the door before returning to business, “They’re just resting.”  And for once, you were.
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iamanartichoke · 3 years
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[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers] 
I know I have missed a lot of people’s takes and reactions, there’s just - there’s so many. So I’m sorry if I’m inadvertantly repeating anyone or whatnot when I proceed to make my own posts. 
Cut for length and spoilers.
Which is a segue into - I feel legitimately concerned, based on how many people are reading the TVA as being the moral authority and/or being on Loki’s side, and Mobius Dick’s interrogation being therapeutic for Loki (and how gross that is), along with an emphasis on ooc-ness for Loki and just overall cracks and fractures in the (what I thought was a) more or less solid episode - 
I feel legitimately concerned that I may have wildly misinterpreted, like, everything, up to and including Loki’s characterization. And it’s actually kind of hilarious bc like - 
Me: All opinions and interpretations are valid! No worries! Also I’m open-minded! Also I have no issue admitting I’m wrong! 
Also me: *feels physically ill at the idea that my interpretation is so very wrong* 
I’m not even lying, guys, my stomach is in knots. And I guess it’s because, like - I thought that it was pretty straightforward that the TVA are the antagonists here?? That Mobius isn’t Loki’s friend - he’s Loki’s interrogator and handler bc he needs Loki for his own purposes. That the “single sacred timeline” is not only nonsensical but also kinda fucked up (as Loki rightfully points out). 
Like I’m watching these scenes and it doesn’t even occur to me to take the TVA’s word as the correct one here. Why would I? I’m taking Loki’s word as the correct one - Loki, the one who’s calling out everything that is stupid and ridiculous about the concept of the Timekeepers and the TVA, the one who is being scape-goated and is aware of it. 
To touch on the ooc-ness of Loki - I mean, the first half of the episode was cringey and ooc, yeah; Loki was too over-the-top and the “comedic” tone didn’t quite land (I’m honestly wondering if Tom’s just not good at comedy? I mean, Betrayal was a genuinely funny play (and heartwrenching) but besides that, I can’t think of anything really comedic that he’s done.) but I’m willing to overlook that because when we got into the second half of the episode, he began to feel much more like the Loki I love.  
Historically, Loki has consistently been the one to see the truth for what it really is and either saying or doing something about it. He actively tries to delay Thor’s coronation because he recognizes, when no one else does, that Thor is not ready to be king. He knows that Odin isn’t as righteous and wise as he pretends to be (and, in fact, he knows that Odin is guilty of more than Loki could ever be, and he calls that out too). He sees SHIELD as the farce it is (and possibly knows Hydra has infiltrated it; I headcanon that he knew but just didn’t care bc why would he?), and he sees Earth and the humans in a much more accurate light than Thor could hope to. You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers; the humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret. Etc. Here, it’s the clowns are playing their parts to perfection (that’s the only quote I can remember right now). 
And I mean, yeah, the narrative has never acknowledged that Loki is right about everything. It’s a huge source of frustration for me bc the narrative continues to be so black-and-white about heroes and villains and, being villain-coded, Loki doesn’t get to be validated no matter how right he is. 
But I don’t think that’s the case here. I think, as the protagonist, his word holds a bit more weight. It should, at least, and I personally didn’t see anything that made me think that we shouldn’t consider Loki the authoritative voice in all of this. Loki, not the TVA. 
Mobius’s interrogation? Was very clearly cruel and fucked up, to me. The sham of a fake ass trial that Loki had to endure, with the implication being that no one who stands trial is actually getting a fair trial bc the TVA has no intention of judging anyone not guilty? Fucked up, with horrifying implications. The process of deleting people from existence being literally as detached and soulless as a trip to the DMV (complete with tickets!)? Very disturbing. Like, none of these things are the traits that I would look at and say, hmm, yeah, these guys seem legit and totally correct about everything, too bad for Loki. 
And Loki’s reactions to Mobius - his frustration, his defiance, and his eventual emotional breakdown (which we only saw when Loki was completely alone) all felt accurate to me. Again, there were a lot of over the top aspects of Tom’s performance here but I think what makes me more willing to overlook them is that, in general, we’re getting a more animated Loki than we’ve gotten to see him before, in a way that feels true to him as opposed to whatever was going on with him in Ragnarok. 
He’s not in the middle of a mental breakdown/identity crisis. He’s not being mind-controlled anymore (or influenced). He’s not being villain-coded while Thor is propped up as the hero and the ideal which, to me, means that we are actually getting to see Loki’s personality when all of that is taken away and the only thing he’s got left is himself. It’s a really shitty situation and I hate that he’s in it, but after the initial exaggerated reactions, his response to it worked for me. 
So - yeah. And now I’m like, biting my nails and my stomach is in knots bc I thought I knew Loki and I had a comfortable idea of Loki, and I thought I was more or less decent at interpreting things - but, so, clearly there were things happening and being picked up on that just whooshed right over my head bc it never occurred to me to be on the lookout for them in the first place. Does that make sense? I don’t even know what I’m saying. 
Just - I am really, really doubting my own perception of what this series is attempting to do with Loki and it does not feel good at all. So I guess ultimately I am not capable of putting my money where my mouth is and treating all interpretations as valid, when it comes to myself. (I didn’t realize I was that far up my own ass so as to speak confidently about validity while telling myself that my idea is pretty correct.) Soo there we are. 
Idk if I even want to post this but it’s time for me to clock out now so, for better or for worse, *hits post button* 
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lokislittlesigyn · 3 years
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// loki spoilers
This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.
1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..
2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!
3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.
He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...
That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.
4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?
4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e
5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as  6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison
6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.
7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.
8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!
9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.
A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...
B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.
C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...
I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.
10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!
11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,
12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:
12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!
13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing
14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?
15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize
A. Natasha died for a paperweight
B. Tony died from paperweights
C. Loki was tortured for paperweights
D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?
Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...
16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.
17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.
18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-
19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.
20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.
21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!
I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.
To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).
22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON
ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.
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mazojo · 3 years
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Spring 2021 Anime Opinions
Anyways its that time where I go rambling about my anime opinions no one cares about but here we are and I give you my thoughts and recs from what I watched so lets gO. From least fav to best.
Gokushufudou
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I dont want to be biased and that bitch that criticizes an animation because god knows I have no idea how to animate but yeah no, not for me... A lot of people have recommended me the manga so I know its good just,,,, the animation made me not enjoy it as much as I would have liked.
Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui
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Fuck you Ryou. Fuck you Rio. Tamaru my baby I am SO sorry they would do this to you. The only one who deserves to be here and the only reason this is not dead last. Dont watch this its uh very much illegal and Ryou is infuriating and umm I feel like this should be a given but uhhhhh dont romance minors? lol? The opening does slap tho I'll give them that.
Shadows House
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I feel like a lot of people will disagree with me here (which is okay!!! its about the different tastes !!) but I just find it painfully boring at times? sksksk like I just sleep through most of the dialogue and yeah its cute but like idk... Although to be fair I am like on ep 4 or 5 so maybe it improves I just need to pull through and finish it. As of now I havent really seen the big scary element people talk about imo but its cute, maybe my mind will change at the end.
Mashiro no Oto
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This may be unfair of me to judge fully because I havent continued it either but its okay, not my favorite nor the worst. It reminds me a lot to Barakamon for some reason and I wasnt a big fan of it but take it how you wish asdfgh. I feel like maybe someone with more musical affinity than me that plays an instrument may enjoy this one more but I have very basic music knowledge so alas :(
Subarashiki Kono Sekai The Animation
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I put a gif of Kiryu because he is a good boy and the reason why its so high skskss. I feel like if I played the games I would like this a lot more as sometimes the pacing is a bit rushed and all over but I like the premise of the show! It definitely got me curious to check the game.
Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-san
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Nagatoro is that train wreck I dont know why I watch but I continue regardless and thats that. Its definetely not a show that is geared towards my likes so its not on my personal favorite list but hey if you enjoy what Nagatoro and Senpai have I aint the one to judge here.
Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai: Tensai-tachi no Renai Zunousen OVA
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I want yall to know I put Love is War OVA so down in my list with a heavy heart because I absolutely adore the love is war franchise but.... The OVA was a bit much for me. They animated probably my least favorite manga chapters in one same special episode and yeah,,,, sadly not my cup of tea.
Hige wo Soru. Soshite Joshikousei wo Hirou.
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This is like a guilty pleasure show too because its like the telenovelas I watch but in anime format and its a soap opera but I like those so I keep watching sksksk. I havent read the source material but I really hope Sayu and Yoshida dont end together because big yikers but apart from that solid premise with mature themes.
Yuukoku no Moriarty 2nd Season
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Okay so I'll admit that I have only watched the first ep of this season BUT I believe I have enough judgement of the story because I read the manga to place this here ASDFGHJ. If you read my last post I am not the biggest fan of Moriarty the Patriot but I can respect it for the work it is and I cant say its trash. Its okay, I know people like it so I mean ill watch it at some point and the Irene arc is very poggers so watch it for they.
Fumetsu no Anata e
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To Your Eternity is a great show praised by many, and although I am enjoying it so far I think its okay. I think theres a few problems in the execution and pacing imo but I havent read the manga so maybe its just me feeling it. Its alright but not my favorite of this lineup.
Shakunetsu Kabaddi
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I enjoy Shakunetsu Kabaddi a lot ngll, I love my sports anime, I still have no idea how the game works because i’m big dumb but the characters are cool and the story is solid. Its mostly your general sports anime but those are my guilty pleasures so take it as you see sksksk. I'm like 2 or 3 eps behind but nonetheless its a nice watch.
Bakuten!!
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Bakuten is a fun show!! Its a similar feeling I have to Shakunetsu Kabaddi, the animation is super cool and I really like the character designs! I enjoyed the first eps more than the later ones which made me lose a bit of interest but nonetheless its a cute show.
Bishounen Tanteidan
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See, I feel like I would enjoy Bishounen Tanteidan 10000% times more if I knew what the fuck was going on ASDFGHJK. I dont know if im just dumb by the pretty visuals or if I just dont pay enough attention but like I have no idea whats happening half the time?? Specially on the latest eps? Like I get thrown information at me and I just am too busy staring at the pretty opening and characters to get it asdfghj but yeah it has been alright!
Boku no Hero Academia 5th Season
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I love seeing Shinsou muak you’re doing amazing bby boy *heart eyes*. Its a bummer because ive lost interest to bnha a bit because of the last arc of the manga and I remember really liking this arc and I still do but because I am bitter due to the manga I havent been enjoying it as much as I would normally but yeah, I like bnha and its been okay so far.
Shiguang Daili Ren
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Now onto my beloveds the top 4 are all chef kiss. Shiguang Daili Ren is one I got into at the last minute but it really hooked me, the first episode was very solid and the premise is super interesting tho a bit confusing at times. The animation throws me off a little but I enjoy the characters a lot and I cant wait to see how this is going to end because I have a bad feeling about it but if you like mysteries this is a nice watch!!
Fruits Basket: The Final
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Fruits Basket could tell me to do 4 flips backwards and a somersault right now and I would do it for its sake so its to no ones surprise this is high up because its just that good ASDFGHJ. But in all seriousness, Furba is an amazing story which I could go on about but just,,,,,, go watch it,,,,,, Momiji and Yuki brain goes brrrr,,,,,,, The only reason this aint 1 is because I have strong opinions about the Akito parts so we push it back a few spots as personal protest lmaoo
Mairimashita! Iruma-kun 2nd Season
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What sort of crafts and sorcery do I gotta perform to convince everyone reading this to go watch and read Iruma? because like?? It started as a joke but it aint a joke anymore ASDFGHJUI. Yeah well I know 99% of people will disagree with placing this second but its my list and my recommendations and I say everyone go read Iruma because its hilarious and it actually teaches you some dope lessons and the characters are amazing and goodnight to everyone reading and watching m!ik <33 (Come on look at Asmodeus and tell me this isn't the best show created, I believe in m!ik supremacy).
Tokyo Revengers
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Did I wait for Chifuyu to show up to put him as the gif here? Maybe. Y'all are sleeping on Tokyo revengers and it shows. This absolutely slaps, the manga is amazing, the anime is amazing, the plot is interesting and complicated in a good way, the characters complex, Mikey, Chifuyu, the flavor??? The op and ed also are bangers and honestly one of my favorite animes of the year, go watch it.
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scaredyships · 3 years
Text
Renegades (Din Djarin x gn!Reader) | pt. III
summary: Mando picks out the planet Sorgan for the three of you to lie low on. Things get complicated, Reader gets a glimpse of how hectic Mando's life can be as a bounty for hire, and everybody is confused about feelings.
word count:  14.5k (...help)
author’s notes: Good LORD I was stuck on this for way too long. Between my creative focus being elsewhere and just being completely stuck as to how I wanted some scenes to play out, it took a lot for me to do more than a sentence or two at a time and then forget about it for days or weeks at a time.
This was also hard to write bc I am very uhhh put off by Omera and her original role as the possible love interest and I was trying very hard to remain believable/respectful about her. Cara Dune was also hard to write because of certain actions by her actor, so she's got a little bit of a lesser role.
I'm saying this now, with future chapters I am not going to be going episode-by-episode like I originally intended. I might jump around and have some "filler" things, I may completely skip over some episode happenings, I may diverge from canon here and there, but generally the outcomes will be the same as the show. I cut out the actual battle of Sorgan too bc this is already too long and I am terrible at writing action scenes. :v
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 (you are here) // ao3 link
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It had been a couple days since you’d set yourself up a space in the hold. At least, it felt like a couple days. You weren’t accustomed to space travel and dealing with the lack of solar cycles to indicate the passage of time, so it was difficult to tell exactly. It didn’t really matter, in the end, but it was still a little annoying.
In that time, you spent most of your time getting to know your way around the Razor Crest’s small layout, what panels and buttons did what, and making sure the child on board was cared for and didn’t get into anything he shouldn’t. Easier said than done, as that kid was surprisingly sneaky and far too curious. He seemed well-behaved, right up until you weren’t looking, and the next thing you knew he was doing something like rooting around in a pile of netting and getting hopelessly tangled, or trying to put things in his mouth to teethe on.
Right now, the kid was up in the cockpit with Mando. Even though you were on board to help out, Mando still seemed to feel better when he was in the same room as the kid versus you being the one supervising, and to be honest it was nice to have a break from babysitting. You had never wanted kids of your own to begin with, and though this kid wasn’t exactly your standard child, it reinforced that at the end of the day, the factor of being able to give the child back to their actual caregiver played a large role in just how tolerant you were of them.
The entire ship suddenly jerked to the side and sent you crashing into the hull wall, your shins narrowly avoiding smashing against the edge of one of the crates lying around. To say you were shaken was a bit of an understatement, despite not a moment later, the normal smooth flight pattern returning and the ship righting itself. Did Mando hit something? Was some part of the ship on the verge of breaking down completely? You did a quick sweep to make sure none of the weapons lockers were damaged and that nothing was in danger of going ogg. You swore, this man had far too much firepower on board and one day it was going to come back and bite him.
Fortunately, everything was where it should be and the only things really out of place was your now-askew space, and your frazzled self. Huffing, you sped over to the ladder and clambered up to the cockpit to see if you could find out what was going on. On your way up, you could hear the low, modulated voice of Mando speaking, very likely to the child with the tone you could pick up.
“Ready to lay low and stretch your legs for a couple months, you little womp rat? Nobody’s gonna find us there.”
“Nobody’s gonna find us where?” Your head and shoulders were poking out of the ladder hatch, arms folding over the edge as you gave the pair a pointed look. You weren’t about to let Mando decide where you were going to camp out for months without you giving some input.
The Mandalorian turning to face you with the child in his lap was almost comical, like they’d been caught doing something they weren’t expecting to be called out on. You didn’t see any sign of concern over whatever had shaken you down below, so you figured you could bring that up later.
You could see a holomap beyond Mando, though it was too far for you to make out any of the text on it. You dragged yourself the rest of the way into the cockpit, righting yourself and coming to a halt just far enough that you could read the screen.
“An outer rim planet.” He leaned aside and let you read the screen’s details. Sorgan, huh. You vaguely remember that name from when you were compiling planets for Mando back when this whole mess started. The details past that escaped you, though. You squinted as you read on. No populations outside of small settlements to speak of, no starports or anything industrial… and it was one of those planets made up of a single biome - swamp.
To be honest, you weren’t thrilled at the idea of actually camping out for so long in such a place. You were so accustomed to being in places that had somewhat larger settlements, and absolutely more tech than this planet likely had, not just for business but simple things like staying entertained. But you were even less thrilled at the fact that this was a  swamp  planet. You knew not all swamp planets were the same, but the simple holomap readout didn’t indicate any further details about what kind of swamps it was made up of.
You hope above all things it’s not a bog planet like Nal Hutta. Gaseous atmosphere, skies choked by sickly green clouds, brown water, hardly any land to speak of.
You turned and gave Mando a look. “No information about the biome past ‘swamp’?”
He shook his head in that slow, deliberate way of his. You exhaled through your nose.
“Not a fan of swamps?”
“You could say that.” You turned back to the screen, like staring at it might make it give up more information.  Maker , you missed your database.
“How far away are we?”
“Not very, maybe an hour or two.”
You stepped back and fell unceremoniously into one of the passenger seats further back in the cockpit. The child, who had been watching you through this whole exchange, seemed to lose his interest once you sat down and went back to looking curiously around at the controls laid out in front of Mando. You could almost see the cogs turning in his head, and you started to suspect he had something to do with the ship going sideways earlier. Probably got a hold of the controls somehow.
“I guess I’ll have a better idea of where we’re going once we get a look at the planet.”
The Mandalorian nodded, and turned back to the controls to pilot you all there.
You had been closer than you anticipated, though it was still not a very short journey. Instead of going back down to the hull, you opted to stay in the passenger seat and simply wait. Jumping to hyperspace was something you had yet to get used to, but after so long of the smooth traveling with the smears of light streaking past the windscreens, you found you could relax a little and rest your eyes.
A jolt in the ship as you exited hyperspace shook you awake. Blinking and sitting up in your chair, you peered out the window at the planet taking up the view.
Deep green. Streaks of blue. White cloud cover. You breathed a sigh of relief and slumped back against the chair back.
“Acceptable?” There was a hint of amusement in Mando’s voice. You smirked at him.
“Yeah, I’m fine with it.” You actually were looking forward a little to seeing just what kind of plant life was on this planet. You could see a fair amount of tree coverage, which meant forests. It had been far too long since you’d seen proper forests, let alone been out in one. You had tried to replicate it with your plant corner back home, but it was never the same. Some time amongst real trees would do you good.
The descent had you watching out the window the whole time, surveying the landscape as its features came into view. It had its marshes and rivers, but equal amounts of coniferous forests and solid land. This place could almost pass for an arboreal biome planet in places. You spotted very few settlements on the way in, too, and what you did see looked to be the most basic of small villages.
Mando landed the Razor Crest some ways away from a small market, hidden amongst ample tree coverage. He locked down the controls and lifted the kid with one arm, removing a small silver ball from his clutches to attach to one of the levers in the array.
“I’m going to go out and find us some lodging. Wait here with the kid. Don’t let him touch anything. I’ll be back.”
He passed the child off to you, with such surety that you’d take him that he nearly dropped the little one on you before you could respond. You grabbed him with both hands in a slight panic, thinking he was about to fall, and in doing so your fingers gripped into the gloved ones already supporting his weight. Even with the barrier between skin-to-skin contact, it was awkward and had your face heating with embarrassment that you’d accidentally touched the bounty hunter. He, however, made no indication of any such reaction, damn that helmet making him unreadable. His hands withdrew once it was certain the child was in your grasp safely.
You and the child stared at each other as you held him out before you, like you weren’t sure what to do with him now. He looked back at you with a similar expression, and you swore there was a hint of some sort of mischief underneath it. Oh, he had definitely  been the one to make the ship go off-kilter, no doubt now. And knowing your luck, he was going to do more of the same once Mando left. You’d already experienced him trying to eat trash despite you actively watching him, you knew he was capable of more.
Mando descended the ladder into the hold, and the sound of the ramp opening up reached the cockpit. You looked out the windscreen, watching as the Mandalorian appeared in your field of view just as the sound of the ramp closing itself back up sounded.
And that was all it took.
The child turned into a complete nightmare the instant it was clear Mando was gone. It didn’t matter what you did - first he fussed and squirmed to be let down, so you did, and the second you turned your head he had somehow managed to get into the pilot’s seat and was attempting to mess with the controls. Every time you picked him up, he fussed again, wriggling and whining loudly, and whenever you set him back down he went straight for whatever he knew he could get in trouble for. You tried to keep this up as long as you could, which proved to be a pathetic five minutes or so. It was like having an extra-smart, extra-naughty loth cat with thumbs on board.
“Okay, kid. We’re going down to the hold. You can’t accidentally start the ship up down there.” You snatched the kid up under his armpits, and though he continued fussing, it was much less, like perhaps he wanted to be in the hold. You knew that the hold had just as much, if not more, for him to get into trouble with, what with the armory down there, but it was better than possibly starting up the engines and taking off.
You awkwardly climbed down the ladder with one arm latched around the child, and once you reached the floor you set him down, hoping he’d behave a little more. How wrong you were. It was like the kid instinctively knew where the controls for the ramp were, because he made a beeline for that panel - knocking whatever he could out of the way just to accentuate his point - and reached his-far-too-short arms into the air like he could possibly reach it if he just tried hard enough. No amount of you trying to redirect his attention or picking him up to set him down elsewhere worked, he would cry and go straight back to the panel and give you repeated looks with big, desperate eyes, like you were a monster for not understanding he wanted to open the door.
“Mando told us to stay here. So we’re going to stay here until he gets back.”
It was when the loud crying started that you knew you had lost the battle.
That alone was one of your top reasons for not desiring children - you couldn’t handle the noise that came with an upset child. Not for any good parental reason like not wanting to see them sad. You genuinely couldn’t stand the screaming, it set you on edge and made  you want to scream in turn. And here one was, cries bouncing off the hull walls and drilling into your eardrums with far more force than you could have imagined possible for something so small.
You rushed as fast as you could towards the control panel and slammed the button to open the ramp.
“OKAY!  Okay, okay, you win, we’ll go find him.” You glared down at the kid, whose clear face and perked ears indicated the crying had all been an act. You sighed heavily. He’d only known you for maybe a few days and he already knew how to get you to do what he wanted.
“He’s not going to be happy, you know that, right.” The child just tilted his head at you, smug little face seeming to say “no, he can’t get mad at me”.
You wandered back to your area not too far off to get some of your outerwear on - your belt, your ear piece, your blaster, whatever you might need in the immediate future. The neck gaiter you loosely wore got pulled up to securely cover the lower half of your face - it made you feel more secure, somehow, when you were venturing out into strange places. You picked the kid up and awkwardly shifted him to one arm, making your way down the ramp, and hoping you wouldn’t get into  too  much trouble with the bounty hunter. The kid, meanwhile, happily burbled in your grasp.
With a deep sigh and a roll of your eyes, you marched out onto the planet’s surface in the direction you had seen Mando go.
-
You were right. Mando wasn’t happy at all.
He had been trudging along, lost in his thoughts about what kind of lodging he should be looking for now that there wasn’t just him, but you and a child to account for, but still attentive enough to his surroundings that when he heard what sounded like distant footsteps crunching through the undergrowth he paused.
It was when he heard the sounds of the child babbling and you calling out to him to wait that his wariness turned to mild panic, and he rushed towards where he could hear your voices, hand staying within reaching range of his blaster. What had happened? He told you to stay back at the Crest and yet here you were, with the child. Had you been discovered, and just barely escaped? Was the Razor Crest captured?
He came to a halt just a few feet from you, surveying you and the child for any signs of distress or damage, stance wary and ready for a fight.
“What happened?” His tone was terse, apprehensive.
You looked wryly down at the bright-eyed child in your grasp, and back up at the bounty hunter. Or rather, somewhere in the general vicinity of him, as you found you couldn’t look directly at him.
“He, uh. Was very upset at you leaving without him.”
Mando’s defensive posture deflated and he tilted his head in a way that you  knew  he was giving you a disbelieving look.
“I told you to stay put, and the kid throwing a fit is all it took for you to leave?” He didn’t miss the way your mouth tightened into a thin line and your brow furrowed.
“He wouldn’t stop trying to be destructive, and when I tried to move him he’d just scream and go for the ramp! Look, I  told  you I wasn’t the best out there with kids.” You snapped, glaring into the blank visor.
Honestly, he could tell you were disappointed in yourself for caving so easily, and he probably wouldn’t have fared much better with his own lack of experience with children. But you could have been followed, and now the ship was unattended. The child, however, looked content as ever, his plan having worked. He sighed. It was what it was at this point. At least he was still in range that could lock the ship up remotely with his vambrace controls, which he set to doing immediately.
“Come on, then.” He motioned with a hand as he turned back to the direction he had come from, cape swirling around his form dramatically. You exchanged a tired glance with the smug kid, having half a mind to set him down and make him walk the rest of the way to wherever you were going.
“You’re lucky you’re at least a little cute.”
By the time you get to civilization, you’d let the kid down to walk - just beside Mando, and you just behind the child. Two unlikely bodyguards for an equally unlikely “dignitary”. The towering trees thinned out on the edge of the small market center, man-made structures beginning to appear. The buildings were small, mostly made of wicker and wood, with very little in the way of tech. The people were equally simple, their dress and presentation reflecting their rural occupations.
With the interest of the child in mind, Mando led the three of you into a common house, the busy sounds of kitchen work and the smell of grilling food easily reaching you before you even got to the entrance. It would have been more welcoming, if it wasn’t also accompanied by nearly everyone turning their eyes to your odd trio and whispering amongst themselves. On one hand, you couldn’t completely blame them, as the three of you were like the lead-up to a bad joke come to life. But it still made you very uncomfortable, knowing without a doubt that you were being watched and discussed. You hated the feeling. You self-consciously adjusted the fabric masking your face and furrowed your brow to try and give off the most “do not approach” energy you could, glancing around at the tenants. Not many of them returned your gaze, save a few, including one woman who didn’t at all look like she was from there. Strong, wearing armor and weapons - not to the extent of the Mandalorian, of course. But you could still feel that she wasn’t to be messed with. You averted your gaze quickly.
The child, meanwhile, was bright as ever with this new place he was in. He looked around the establishment, taking in the new scenery and the light filtering in through the gaps of the woodwork with his big eyes. You in turn watched him, as Mando located a table for the three of you. You followed suit and sat at the table, and as you turned to see what the kid was up to, you noticed the little one had locked eyes with a tooka cat beneath the chair of a nearby tenant. The child was curious, but you knew enough about tooka cats to know that the way it was looking back meant it was interpreting the child’s staring as threatening to its peace. Very few animals took maintaining eye contact as anything but a challenge, and this was no different.
“Leave it alone, kid.” You murmured just loud enough that you hoped he’d hear. Your words were too late, as the cat’s lips pulled back and revealed its enormous maw of teeth in a menacing hiss. The child flinched back with a frightened noise, and next thing you knew you were snatching him up by the ruff of his oversized coat and plopping him in the seat beside you.
There was barely any time for any of you to exchange glances when a proprietor approached the table, face weathered but welcoming.
“Welcome, travelers. Can I interest you in anything?”
“Bone broth, for the little one.” Mando motioned with his hand towards the child. You suppressed giving the armored man a skeptical look for ordering the most basic of things for the kid, when it was obvious they had more substantial food in this establishment. It was fine, you told yourself, he had the final say and this wasn’t the place to call him out on his decisions.
“Oh, well, you’re in luck. I just took down a grinjer, so there’s plenty. Can I interest you in a porringer of broth as well?” Mando shook his head. The proprietor turned her gaze to you expectantly.
“No, thank you.” You put your palm out in a placating gesture. Even though the aroma of food filtered through your face covering and had a tempting quality to it, somewhere as public as this was absolutely not somewhere you’d be comfortable trying to eat at. If you could take it to go, maybe. But you had no idea where you’d even be staying at this point, or how much longer you’d be looking for such a place. No, you could wait.
The proprietor nearly began to speak again when Mando cut her off. “That one over there, when did she arrive?”
So, you hadn’t been the only one to notice the intimidating woman across the room. Well, it wasn’t that difficult, with how much she stuck out amongst the residents of the planet. You three were equally as noticeable, and you didn’t miss how the woman was still watching you, though she was trying to be discreet about it. There was wariness coming off of her, you could feel that much.
The proprietor glanced towards where Mando had indicated the strange woman to be, seemingly confused. “Uh, I’ve seen her here for the last week or so.”
Mando continued pressing her for answers she didn’t have. “What’s her business here?”
“Business?” The proprietor looked as confused as ever. “Well, there’s not much business on Sorgan, so I can’t say…” The sound of credits clinking onto the countertop reached in your ears as Mando casually tossed some onto the tabletop. You were too busy watching the woman out of your peripheral vision to pay too much attention to what he was up to. The proprietor mentioned the woman not being a log runner, and offered complimentary spotchka before she left to retrieve the order.
The moment the woman stood and moved to leave the common house, you discreetly rapped your knuckle against Mando’s vambrace. The black T of his visor turned towards you, and you vaguely twitched your fingers in the direction the woman had been moments before. “She’s leaving.” You murmured as lowly as you could so Mando could hear but others couldn’t. You didn’t get any impression of real danger or malice from her, but knowing that the three of you had prices on your heads, you had a feeling the bounty hunter would try to follow her and make sure she wasn’t about to report on your whereabouts to anyone.
Mando stood from his seat, gaze trained on the doorway to the establishment. “Stay here with the kid. I’ll be back.”
And there it was. You exhaled through your nose and looked down at the kid, comically small in his chair and watching as the beskar-clad man made his way to the exit and out of sight.
You wondered how often he went out of his way to pick possible fights like this.
The proprietor returned to the table and placed a small bowl in front of the child, breaking you from your thoughts. The complimentary bottle of spotchka made an appearance, too, but you didn’t pay much mind to it. Alcohol was never something you liked, between it being an acquired taste and dulling your thoughts. You still nodded appreciatively at her before she left to tend to the next table.
Before the kid could finish picking up his bowl, the faintest of sounds reached your ears. While you normally wouldn’t pay much mind to such things in a public place, there was some notion in your mind that it was the buckethead getting into a fight with the woman from earlier. You looked over at your tiny companion, who looked up at you over the brim of his bowl and towards the doorway Mando had left through moments earlier.
“He doesn’t need our help, we’ll just get in the way.”
The kid seemed to take that as a challenge, and hopped down from his seat and began to toddle off.
“Hey, no, we are  not going out there-” You jumped up and tried to herd him back towards the table, and you almost succeeded, but the little green thing was surprisingly determined and avoided your awkward movements, both of you caught up in a ridiculous dance. The tenants were watching you and your face heated with embarrassment. You finally scooped up the rapscallion with one arm, narrowly avoiding some of the broth sloshing from his bowl and onto the floor.
“Fine, we’ll go see what’s going on. Just stop trying to run off on me.” You pointed meaningfully at the kid with your index finger, peering into those big dark eyes and hoping he actually listened. He looked back at you with those big bright eyes and perked ears in a way that somehow told you he understood.
You carefully set him back on the ground. “Stay close.”
Exiting the establishment and turning the corner was as far as you needed to go to see just what you suspected - Mando and the woman scrabbling to get the upper hand against the other. It was almost comical, in a way, even though blasters were involved and the situation could very well turn dangerous.
And it nearly did just that when the two fell on the ground with blasters pointed at each other’s heads -  causing you to pull your own blaster from its holster - except everything was interrupted by a very loud slurp from the child as he watched from beside you, bowl of broth clutched tightly. The slow turns of their heads and prolonged look from both of them was enough of an announcement of a stalemate as any. You snorted and shook your head slightly at the scene.
“I take it you don’t actually want to kill each other, then.” You slightly lowered your blaster from where it was aimed at the woman. You didn’t miss the way Mando paused in a way that you imagined he was rolling his eyes under his helmet. He turned his attention back to the woman he was still vaguely pointing his blaster at.
“Would you like some soup?”
-
You all returned to the table you’d had back in the common house. The woman - named Cara Dune, you learned - told you her story. She was a former shock trooper for the former Rebel Alliance working on Endor, with no additional support, and as soon as the ex-Imperials were gone the politics got out of hand and she found herself working to “keep the peace”. Beating rioters and favoring delegates wasn’t what she’d signed up for, so she left, and now had a price of her own for desertion. She recognized Mando as being part of the Guild and suspected he’d come looking for her. She kept glancing curiously at you throughout her explanation, like she wasn’t sure what to make of you tagging around with a Mandalorian bounty hunter and why he was even letting it happen. Sure, the child was an equally puzzling factor, but she seemed to sense he was a touchy subject.
She eventually turned to you after her explanation was finished. “So what’s your story?”
You shrugged, idly adjusting one of your wrist pieces. “He got my house blown up and put me on a wanted list, so this is his way of dealing with the guilt.”
Cara visibly bites back a laugh and tries to hide behind her own cup of broth. You glance over at your companion, whose stiff posture tells you he’s not sure how to react, but he’s definitely embarrassed to some degree.
The ex-trooper downs the last of her broth, and stands from the table. “Well, this has been a real treat. But unless you wanna go another round, one of us is gonna have to move on, and I was here first.” She gives you all a curt nod, and walks away.
Mando leans back in his own chair and looks between you and the kid, who’s working on his second helping of broth. “Well, looks like this planet’s taken.”
-
The walk back to the Razor Crest was a somber one for you. Now that you had spent some time on the surface, you’d actually taken a bit of a liking to the place. But Mando was right - as remote as this planet was, it could likely only handle one fugitive at a time. Looked like it was back to the ship directory to root through whatever systems it could access. You tried not to let your mind wander off to mourn your lost database again. This was exactly why you compiled lists of multiple options, in case something like this happened and one of those choices fell through.
A tug on your pant leg dragged you from your mulling. You looked down and were met with the concerned face of the child looking back up at you.
“I’m okay, don’t worry about me.” The kid burbled quietly at you in response. That seemed to catch Mando’s attention, as he was now looking questioningly back at you.
“Something wrong?”
You exhaled through your nose, trying to come up with a brief answer that wasn’t too revealing. You weren’t big on talking about your feelings, and you got the impression that neither was Mando, so between the two of you it would be better if it was kept to a minimum.
“Feeling a little useless on the front of hunting for a planet, that’s all.” It was the first time you’d felt this useless in a  very  long time, to be honest, but you weren’t about to let that part out.
Mando turned back to continue the trek back to the Razor Crest. “We’ll figure something out.” His tone was superficially dull, but you could tell he was trying in his own way to sound reassuring. That counted for something.
Once you made it back to the Crest, which was safe and sound amongst the trees, the two of you got to work - the Mandalorian using the dying daylight to look over the ship for maintenance, while you took up the task of sifting through the planetary database for your next options. Originally Mando wanted you to take the child up with you so he’d be better contained, but after a pitiful look from those big, dark eyes, it was over and decided that he’d watch him. The “watching” very quickly turned into “put the kid to bed”, thank the maker.
It felt like you’d had barely any time to really start your search when you saw what looked like lights on the ground from your view in the cockpit. You slowly stood, watching the lights as they drew nearer. That couldn’t be anything good.
You clambered your way down the ladder and into the hold just as whoever it was pulled up. It was a small cargo sled, one that barely seemed to be holding itself together, with two men of seemingly modest origins on it. Mando wasn’t the least bit concerned about it, as he continued his repairs and ignore them as they tried to get his attention.
“Excuse me, sir?”
Mando didn’t stop working. “There something I can help you with?”
You slowly made your way towards the ramp, taking care to accentuate the sound of your boots hitting the floor and make your presence known, Mando could take care of himself, but if they knew you were here they were less likely to try anything than if he were alone. You shot them a warning glare when they glanced at you, but watching their already-anxious expressions deepen almost made you regret doing so.
“Uh… yeah… raiders.” “We have money.”
You raised an eyebrow at them.
“You think I’m some kind of mercenary?” Mando still made no indication he was going to stop his work for them.
That was enough to get them stammering. First about how they’d read about Mandalorians, and how they thought he was one based on his armor, and if half of what they read was true then they could recruit him for help. One emphasized again, that they had money.
“How much?” Mando had paused his working, turning more attention to these strangers.
“Everything we have, sir. Our whole harvest was stolen.”
“Krill… We’re… krill farmers.” “We brew spotchka. Our whole village chipped in.”
You don’t know what else you were expecting from locals of the planet, but the coin purse one of the men held up as proof of payment was sad to say the least. Krill farming and spotchka brewing didn’t strike you as a very lucrative business anyways, but if that was all they could muster…?
“It’s not enough.” And there was Mando, confirming your suspicions about what his rates were. You didn’t recall him being picky about his bounty, but thinking back, he did go for higher bounties more often than not. It looked like he still held onto that standard despite no longer being part of the Guild. Hell, if you were going by your own rates, what they appeared to have on hand wouldn’t even cover half of your cheapest services.
Mando finished what he’d been doing and made his way up the ramp towards you. The men following him up the ramp was unexpected, but not frightening. They were desperate, and you were getting a better sense of just how much.
“Are you sure? You don’t even know what the job is.” One of them tried to look to you for support. You stared back apprehensively.
“I know it’s not enough. Good luck.” Mando brushed past you, using your form as a barrier between him and the strangers as he retreated further into the hold.
“This is everything we have! We’ll give you more after the next harvest!” You stayed where you were, crossing your arms and staring the men down. You knew you should feel bad for them and try to convince Mando to do something, but with the last time you extended help ending with your entire life up to that point being destroyed, you were too wary to do so.
The two men looked between each other and your standoffish presence. Defeated, they slowly turned to return to their sled, talking to each other as they did.
“Took us the whole day to get here. Now we have to ride back with no protection to the middle of nowhere.”
Mando had only made it a few feet past you by then, so he was definitely within earshot of their conversation. He stopped and turned on his heel, coming up behind you and stopping just behind your shoulder. It took everything in your power to appear unbothered by just how close he stood.
“Where do you live?”
The men paused, turning back to look at the man that had just dismissed them.
“A farm, weren’t you listening? We’re farmers.” The hurt was apparent in the man’s voice.
“In the middle of nowhere.”
“…yes?” The confusion was palpable. You knew where this was going and you weren’t sure you liked it.
“You have lodging?”
The men started to realize where this was going, too, and jumped to provide answers he wanted to hear.
“Yes, absolutely.” Mando briefly glanced at you, as if he was about to ask what you thought. Unfortunately for you, that never happened and he made the decision on his own.
“Good.” Mando motioned to them. “Come up and help.” He motioned to you as well, and began pulling out cargo crates to have them start loading.
You approached the man, once the other men had carried one of the crates far enough that they’re out of hearing range.
“Mando, I don’t know about this. Middle of nowhere or not, Dune’s right, this planet can’t handle more than one fugitive at a time.”
Mando continued moving crates to the ramp. “If it took them all day to get here, they’ll be isolated enough.”
“That kind of distance from civilization, however small, hasn’t stopped bounty hunters before. You of all people know that.” You glared into the T-shape of his visor. You also knew that all it took was enough time for word to get out about sighting a certain beskar-clad Mandalorian traveling with a green child to reach interested ears. For all you knew, it could be happening right now.
Mando stopped his actions to turn and face you fully.
“We can always move on after the job if it doesn’t seem right.”
You sighed heavily through your nose. That seemed to be him trying to tell you he wasn’t about to change his mind. He  had  been doing this longer than you, you supposed. You glanced towards the closed door of his bunk, where the child was sleeping.
“…fine. But I’ll hold you to that.”
You briskly moved to where your makeshift corner was and started gathering up your own things for whatever sort of stay you were in for. Behind you, you heard Mando exchange a few more words with the men as they loaded the last of the cargo he’d pushed on them onto the sled.
His heavy footsteps approached you. “I’m going back into town for a while.” You turned, and noticed the pouch of credits that one of the men had shown you earlier clutched in his hand. “Stay here to keep an eye on them and the kid. I’ll be back.”
You stared at him for a moment, then nodded slightly. “At least he’s not awake to make me come chasing after you this time.”
You swore you heard a slight snort from beneath that helmet.
-
He’d returned some time later with Cara Dune in tow, and after rousing the kid the four of you joined the two men on their journey back to their village. The cargo sled, thank the maker, was the only part of the ride, no connections made with another transport like a boat like you were fearing. You didn’t like boats much, the swaying made you anxious. Five people made it a little crowded and awkward, and try as you might to sit as far as you could on some strapped-down cargo, to try and preserve some sense of personal space, you found yourself nearly falling off one too many times.
“That’s a good way to fall off and get left behind.”
You narrowed your eyes as you stared at the beskar-clad man that had basically just talked to you like a parent.
“It’s fine. I don’t want to get in anyone’s way.”
The way he tilted his head was enough for you to practically see the skeptical look he was no doubt wearing on his hidden face. The kid, sitting beside him, watched you intently.
“Nobody’s doing anything but waiting out the ride.” He pointed to a spot on the cargo just in front of him, where there was definitely enough room for you to fit, though it meant if you tried to stretch your legs out they’d be right alongside his. Clearly, he didn’t care about that if he was doing this.
You stared at the spot like it was a trap. Almost as if to prove a point, the sled went over a particularly pronounced piece of terrain and jostled you. You very nearly fell just like Mando had said you would. The only thing that kept you from going completely overboard was your grip on the cargo’s ties, but you still flopped embarrassingly around. You saw the man’s head tilt to the side as if to say “see?”
Defeated and embarrassed, you clambered down into the open area. Thank the maker Cara Dune had decided to try and get some sleep earlier, and the two farmers transporting you were busy navigating. You didn’t think you could handle having them involved in this, admittedly silly, exchange. You kept your gaze down, not daring to even look up at the Mandalorian. The kid, however, earned himself something between a glare and a smirk when you heard a small giggle come from his direction.
You drew your legs up into your new space, both to keep from invading even more of Mando’s space, and to keep out of the child’s space as well. Mando could handle an accidental kick if you absent-mindedly shuffled; the little green one probably wouldn’t fare so well.
Once you’d settled, you leaned back onto the cargo packed behind you and tried to get as comfortable as you could manage. Which wasn’t much. Mando, however, seemed capable of doing it, as he slowly fell backwards and folded his arms behind his head. You didn’t realize how  broad he was until now, seeing up close how much space he took up just by doing that. And all over again, you felt like you were in his space, and needed to get out of it out of respect. But there was nowhere to go.
You had to snort to yourself when the child mimicked the bounty hunter and tipped backwards onto his much-softer surroundings, peering up at the dark sky with equally dark eyes. At least he was content to do that.
The sled ride stretched on for the duration of the night and into the morning, the farmers switching shifts partway through. You’d never really fallen asleep all the way, just dozed in the same position you took when you initially settled in. Your eyes had closed, and you became somewhat less aware of your surroundings, but the slightest of unusual sounds or movements still drew enough attention that you’d crack an eye open to see what was happening. All through the hours of darkness and through the light breaking over the land. So when the sled began to approach the village, you could hear it. The sounds of people working, distant voices. Opening your eyes and pushing yourself upright, you turned to look up ahead. In the distance you could see the beginnings of some sort of settlement.
You shifted your attention to the others on the sled. Cara Dune was still sleeping, though you didn’t know how. Mando and the child seemed to be out, as well. It was harder to tell with the bounty hunter because of his helmet, but the way he laid there was convincing.
Reaching over, you lightly grabbed one of the child’s clawed feet and shook it to get his attention.
“Get up, kiddo.”
He blinked awake, eyes squinting in the morning light and mouth working to remedy having gone dry while he slept with it open the night before. His big eyes shifted around to look for his Mandalorian guardian, body relaxing once he located him.
You weren’t going to try and use touch to see if  he was awake, though. That could get you stabbed or shot, what with the combination of his reflexes and waking up in a strange place.
“Mando.” You raised your voice, hoping volume alone would do the trick. Fortunately for you, it did. The man shifted and groaned like he had just come alive, his helmet shifted ever so slightly and you could tell he was looking at you.
“We’re there.”
The armored man slowly drew himself upright into a sitting position. As much as he’d tried to get comfortable, he knew he’d be fighting with a back ache for a while after sleeping like he had. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t already dealt with before, with his longer bounty hunts taking him far from his ship and civilization and requiring him to put comfort to the wayside. You, however, had probably not had to relegate yourself to such circumstances. You looked like you hadn’t actually slept, bags present beneath your eyes and a subtle, narrow-eyed scowl he hadn’t seen before on your face. You probably didn’t even know it was there.
The approach to the village was quickly noticed by the villagers, and before you knew it there was a crowd forming to welcome you.
And a lot of them were children.
You could see and hear them immediately. You squeezed your eyes shut and exhaled through your nose for a moment to steel yourself, both for the crowd and the large percentage of it being so young. You hadn’t even had a chance to really get used to the green child you were tasked with helping out with. And these kids could  talk .
The sled came to a stop, the slight jarring motion shaking Cara Dune awake. She looked around, mind working to remember the circumstances that landed her in a strange vehicle with equally strange company.
The first thing the children of the crowd did, was fixate on the child companion of yours in the sled. They were all murmuring and giggling amongst themselves, and the kid looked back at them with equally curious intent. None of you had any idea when he was last around anyone of his mentation.
“Looks like they’re happy to see us.” You heard Mando’s voice crackle through his voice modulator. Cara Dune smiled, but all you could do was blink tiredly. You weren’t ready for this.
One of the children, a girl,  broke away from the crowd and got closer to the smaller, green child, greeting him personally. You watched the interaction carefully. She seemed to notice, as she quickly made eye contact and ducked away back into the safety of the other village children.
With that, everyone disembarked the sled and began unloading cargo. You slowly rose from your spot, knees protesting from staying folded for so long and making you grit your teeth. You grabbed the pack you’d brought with you, slinging it over your shoulder and hobbling off of the sled to join the others, who were carrying their respective luggage. The child had been surrounded by the village kids, the curiosity on both sides still strong and outweighing the apprehension of the strangers with him.
It was time to be shown where you’d be staying, though. Without any words exchanged, Mando shuffled over to gather up the child, kids scattering, and you, Cara Dune, and he were led to your accommodations.
The village was modest, but cozy. The huts all had a distinct charm to them, with the same woven look as the common house, and reminding you of fishing baskets. Smoke rose from some, and in the distance you could make out man-made ponds where they likely farmed their krill.
You were all led to what appeared to be a building other than a hut. There’s a woman there, apparently putting the last touches on preparing it for guests. When she sees you approaching, she stops fussing with the blinds and turns to face you. You don’t miss how she’s focused in on the Mandalorian, with some sense of hesitation, like she wasn’t anticipating how meeting a Mandalorian in person would be. You couldn’t blame her, honestly.
“Please, come in.” You let Mando lead, watching him walk in and put his cargo down onto the floor. The woman turned and seemed mildly surprised when you entered as well, like she hadn’t really seen you before when you made your approach. Again, you couldn’t blame her - if you’d never met a Mandalorian before, it would be hard to notice anything else. That, and it made sense that should word get out in the village about a Mandalorian arriving, the last thing anyone would talk about would be his companions.
“I apologize… I didn’t realize how many guests there would be.” She glances briefly at you and the child individually. You began to feel guilty about being there at all. Of the adults that were there, you were by far the least useful for the job involving the raiders, and of the resources available for guests you felt like it would be better to distribute them amongst the others before you. The child, too, you felt deserved things before you did. You didn’t miss him looking up at you with his big dark eyes, as if he could sense your discomfort.
“Is, uh, there anywhere else available—“
“This will be fine.”
You give the beskar-clad man a perplexed look when he cuts you off. You were attempting to give the man his space back, surely he would like that better than having you hole up in the same small building?
“It’s not any different from the ship. We’ll make do.” He was looking back at you through that dark visor as if he had heard your thoughts. You blinked.
“Are you sure?”
The curt nod he gave you told you the conversation was over. Well… as long as he was okay with it.
The woman took that as her cue that she could speak again. “I’ve stacked some blankets over there, I can get more should you need them.” She indicated the area she meant. You nodded appreciatively at her.
There’s a very slight sound from the doorway, and both you and Mando turn to see the girl from before that had been talking to the child. She attempted to hide behind the doorframe, bashful about being noticed, but the woman goes to gently pull her back into sight and gently hold her to her side.
“This is my daughter Winta. We don’t get a lot of visitors around here, she’s not used to strangers.” That explains the extra feeling of being watched you’d felt on top of the village at large watching you, this girl must’ve followed along. The woman turned to face her daughter. “This nice man and his friends are going to help protect us from the bad ones.”
Winta looked shyly at you and Mando, and politely whispered a thank you. The woman took her daughter by the hand, leading her outside. “Come on, Winta, let’s give our guests some space.”
Just like that, you were left alone with your usual companions.
You glanced around, seeing that it was essentially just one open room. That wouldn’t do. Whatever Mando told you, you knew he would appreciate having a space to himself. You, also, would appreciate some semblance of privacy.
Speaking of Mando, he hadn’t moved to unpack at all, he continued to stand in place as he tried to process what he’d gotten himself into. He’d done plenty of jobs, with plenty of clients, but he wasn’t at all used to being treated like a “nice man”, as the woman had put it. He didn’t know how he was supposed to fee about it.
His buffering was briefly interrupted when you pushed past him into the barn, and began to root through the blankets that had been left and other supplies that had been pushed off to the side to make space.
“I’m going to build some sort of divide for the room. To at least make it feel like there are two rooms instead of one.” You began draping things over your shoulders and arms as you found them, and looking up at the ceiling and the walls to see what you had to work with. Part of him wanted to tell you to just sit down for now, since he could tell you weren't rested at all from the night before. But he also felt like he wouldn’t be able to stop you from your current activity until you’d finished it. He resigned himself to getting his cargo unpacked.
What he doesn’t know, is you were also trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. You had noticed how the woman had briefly paused in the doorway as she left to look back - at Mando, and only Mando. You didn’t know why, but something about it bothered you. Was it a look of apprehension and were you offended on his behalf? No, that wasn’t it. It was some other expression that was subtle and layered and happened too fast for you to read. But it still bothered you. You tried to brush it aside and get to working on your new project instead.
-
Before long you had constructed a simple set of walls from various things you’d found around - you’d taken some sheets from the pile of blankets, and used them in conjunction with some netting and poles to fix them to the walls and ceilings similar to what you had done with your space back on the Razor Crest. A crib had been provided for the child, and you moved that onto the “half” that you’d designated Mando’s space - the larger section, and the one with the window. Your “half” was more like your “third” of the bar’s interior. Really, you didn’t mind. Mando had been busy unpacking and reconvening with Cara Dune to offer any input until it was done, anyways.
Later in the day, you’d more or less finished unpacking what little you’d brought, and Mando was tending to his rifle. You sat on a crate, idly fussing with the settings on your blaster, musing to yourself if you could possibly bother the bounty hunter in the future for something more substantial.
“Knock, knock.”
The woman from earlier stood at the door with a tray of a few plates of food in hand, her daughter in tow. You could see them, but their attention was turned to Mando and the child, who was standing in his crib. “Come in.” Mando’s voice sounded from beyond the divide in the room.
The woman entered, setting the tray down on a nearby surface and picking up a plate from it. Winta stepped forwards shyly, asking if she could feed the child. Mando wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, but he didn’t see a problem with it. “Sure.”
You watched from just around the edge of the divide, as the girl first knelt to feed the child, and then asked if she could play with him. Mando seemed just as fond of dealing with kids as you, hearing his sigh and flat “sure” in response. You smirked at that.
Once Mando had set the child on the ground, Winta immediately darted out the doorway with the child in tow. Mando started to protest, but the woman held him back. You didn’t know why, it was such a simple thing and she was coming from a place of experience where he had none, but for some reason… it made you bristle slightly. You felt like she was overstepping her bounds somehow. You shook your head briefly. She didn’t know any better, it was fine.
The woman then reached for one of the plates of food, to set on a surface closer to where Mando had been maintaining his rifle. “I brought you some food, I noticed you didn’t eat out there. I’ll leave it here for when I go.” Mando awkwardly thanked her, and moved to turn away.
You were hoping she would leave, then, but she didn’t. Instead, she asked if she could ask Mando a question. With his approval, she continued.
“How long has it been since you’ve taken that off?”
Oh, the helmet question. That was bound to happen sooner or later, honestly. You hoped she didn’t say anything too intrusive or insensitive.
“Yesterday.”
“I mean in front of someone else.”
The air felt heavy. You couldn’t quite see from your position where he was looking, but you saw him motion through the window towards what might have been the child and Winta, and other children based on the sounds of play you could hear.
“I wasn’t much older than they are.”
The woman sounded almost horrified that he hadn’t shown his face to anyone since then. The bounty hunter protested, saying that after his parents had been killed, the Mandalorians had taken him in and cared for him as their own.
It’s not like you knew what his past was, or what you expected it to be, but hearing it like this was like a punch to the gut. It was a horrible thing for him to have gone through at all, let alone as a child. You arguably had only just been getting to know him, but the fact that this woman he had never met before was able to get this fact out of him at all, let alone such a personal fact, stung. He had told you earlier that he’d trusted you. That should’ve been enough, and should’ve stopped you from having your thoughts run loose like they were.
“...I’m sorry.” The woman sounded genuinely sad.
“This is the way.”
“Let us know if there’s anything you need.”
Finally, she left. It did not escape you, though, that she hadn’t stopped to see if you had been there to let you know that she had brought you some food, as well, as you also had not left to go get food since arriving. That hurt a little bit, but with the way the prior exchange had gone it probably just slipped her mind. It wasn’t her fault. She was being a good host, she still brought it, didn’t she? You could swear, though, that she seemed to feel some sort of draw towards the bounty hunter and was acting on it in small ways. And you could not figure out why it bothered you.
Once she had left completely, you quietly crept out from behind the divide to retrieve your own plate. Mando was still standing before the window, watching the kids playing with the child. The woman now approached the crowd, no doubt to supervise and make sure they weren’t being too rough. You felt his eyes turn to you slightly.
“I uh… I’m sorry. About what happened in your past. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t not hear that part.”
Mando inclined his head for a moment, and then looked back up at you. “It wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have told you if it had come up.”
That lifted your mood a bit. Plate in hand, you wandered over to stand before the window, not too close but beside where Mando stood, to watch the kids.
“Looks like he’s having fun.” Mando hummed in agreement, arms folded.
You don’t notice, but the Mandalorian had turned his head ever so slightly to look at you without giving away that that’s what he was doing. He’s usually not the best at reading people, but he could tell that something about the interaction he had just had with the woman had upset you somehow - he also had not missed how she had left after speaking with him and hadn’t tried to see if you were around to speak to you, as well. This was a different kind of upset than what he had seen when you were first on his ship, after your home had been destroyed. He didn’t like it then, and he didn’t like this now. He realized didn’t like seeing you upset, or to be linked to the reason you were upset.
The two of you stood there for a few more moments, watching the villagers and the child play. You cleared your throat.
“Well, I still don’t like eating around others. I’m going to my ‘room’.” Mando felt a small smile flicker on his face at that, as you left and went back to your area.
Once you were there, you had been about to pick up a piece of the food when you heard the tell-tale sound of Mando’s helmet being removed. You didn’t know if it was the closer proximity or the conversation that had just happened, but you retreated even further into your area until you were as far away as possible, like somehow even being too close while his helmet was off was just as bad as seeing his face.
-
The job turned out to be much more complicated than any of you had thought. Surveying the woods showed that the raiders were in possession of an Imperial AT-ST, a formidable weapon to have even against trained troops, let alone a defenseless krill farm. Cara Dune was especially off-put by it, having seen the mech in action and barely escaping to tell the tale. Mando, blunt as ever, tried to tell the village’s occupants to just leave and find another place on the planet to farm, but that went over horribly - everyone was angry, saying that he’d agreed to the job and that he should keep to it, that they had lived there for generations and it took so long to even get the farm established, and so on. They insisted they could be taught to fight and help take on the raiders, stubborn in not wanting to leave their homes. Somehow, their desperation won over the bounty hunter and ex-shock trooper, and it was decided that the entire village of twenty-odd people would follow Cara Dune’s instructions to modify the village grounds into a battleground to take down the machine, and the raiders in turn.
The biggest hurdle was teaching the villagers how to fight to begin with. Nobody knew how to deal with hand-to-hand combat. None of them - except the woman, whose name was Omera - knew how to fire a blaster.
That also meant that Mando’s entire arsenal he’d brought along with him would be put to use arming everyone.
While Cara Dune was working with melee training her half of the adults, Mando was overseeing the target practice. You were more familiar with firing a blaster than you were with physical fighting, so you were attempting to help in that department, as well. You had certainly fired off your fair share of one-in-a-million hits in the times you’d even had to use your blaster, but you had no idea how you were able to do it. It was just… an instinct, somehow, that kicked in right at the moment it was needed, and would vanish just as quickly before you could even try to comprehend it. Still, though, you could try.
They were terrible.  
Shots were flying and only a small fraction were landing anywhere, and of those, even less were hitting their intended targets. Except for Omera. Every shot she fired landed square in the middle of her target, one after the other. You could see Mando watching her closely, nodding when she turned to look expectantly at him with a slight smile.
It makes you grit your teeth and you don’t know why. He’s allowed to be impressed by someone from a backwater planet being good with a blaster. He was allowed to be impressed by her tenacity to defend her village. He was allowed… and whatever this strange feeling was that you had, wasn’t allowed to get in the way. That was up to him.
You had been walking between the villagers, giving them pointers on how to better aim, but once you’d noticed what you had with the widow and Mando, something shifted in you. And unbeknownst to you, Mando was watching you, probably more than he had been watching Omera. Your eerie accuracy with your own blaster when you fired off and hit the targets, the way you went from person to person to curtly correct their poise, the way your eyes flashed as you stood back and looked from trainee to trainee with a calculating, concentrated look to determine who needed fixing where. This was a new side of you he hadn’t seen. It was intimidating… but in a good way. He caught himself being confused by his own thoughts, and reminded himself sternly that he needed to concentrate on training everyone and getting things ready.
That night, the plan would be executed. Luring the raiders out, having the villagers go hand-to-hand with the raiders while Mando and Cara Dune took care of downing the AT-ST. You hoped it would work.
-
In the weeks following the successful defeat of the raiders and destruction of their AT-ST, you stayed put in the village. You and Mando and the kid didn't have anywhere better to be, and Mando still stood by it being a good place for waiting out the hunt going on for the kid. Unlike Mando, though, you didn't feel completely safe. You still felt like it was only a matter of time before someone came looking. The raiders didn't all get killed, and though they probably hadn't laid eyes on the child, let alone the village's children in general, it would have been difficult for them to miss the beskar-clad man that they went up against. Word was going to get out.
Mando wasn't convinced. There was nothing besides your sense of unease to indicate that sort of thing would happen, and he needed more substance than that to act. And so, you were stuck there for the time being.
So you tried to make do with living during that time.
Mando spent his time being the quiet watchman of the village, keeping his weapons he'd brought along in top condition just in case. It couldn't hurt to stay vigilant. And it helped you be more at ease to know he hadn't completely shrugged off the possibility of danger.
And when he wasn't cleaning his weapons for the millionth time, or making sure the child wasn't getting into too much trouble with the village children, he was watching you.
He noticed the way you'd go sit out at the far edge of the village clearing, by the edge of the water beneath the shade of the trees, scribbling things in the odd flimsiplast book you'd brought along with you. He got curious one day and wandered over to where you were, making the excuse that he was patrolling the perimeter and just happened to be passing by you on his way. He got to see what it was you were doing - you were sketching the huts and ponds, as well as the trees and animals, making notes beside them. You didn't limit your note-taking to sitting out on the edge of the village, either, sometimes you stayed amongst the buildings and watched the locals and made notes about them.
There were more than a few times that the child would break away from the village kids and watch you, too, and there were times you'd tear a page out and let him scribble on it alongside you. It was endearing to watch, though he'd never admit it, how intensely focused the little one would be on mimicking you during those times. He saw you do your best to be social when the rest of the kids would inevitably crowd around the two of you and watch what you were doing, and begin asking questions. They did that to him, too, with his weapons, and he would try to tell them stories he remembered hearing as a child himself. You didn't seem to tell them stories, so much as just facts about how this or that worked, or how things are different on other planets in this or that way. They still seemed to take it in just as well.
When you weren't note-taking, or trying to avoid being swarmed by curious children, you'd be in the village kitchens, taking advantage of having proper cooking facilities outside of the makeshift space on the Razor Crest and trying out local ingredients and recipes. The child was frequently your taste-tester, and he loved every bit of it. There were times that he'd take a bite of something you'd made, and instead of downing the rest of it, he'd look around for Mando, and upon spotting him he'd hurry over with the food in hand, waving it up at him as if to say "try it". He would, of course, wait until he was in the privacy of his own space, but he'd always try it. He had to admit, though he knew the locals had been working with the ingredients for generations and were by no means bad cooks, there was something about your cooking that he liked better. He knew you'd brought along some of your own spices and that you put your own spin on things, but it was deeper than that and he didn't know why.
 He notices that though you try to converse with the locals when appropriate, you frequently retreat to be in his presence and just sit quietly. It starts as you just going back to the barn and him happening to also be there, but over time it evolved into you actively seeking him out in moments where he was apart from the others, wherever that may have been. It was… nice.
 It was also nice that, on some nights where neither of you could sleep, you would wind up quietly talking about this or that through the makeshift wall in the barn that divided your sleeping areas. The conversations were about mundane things, never lasted long, and were always quiet because of the sleeping child nearby. But it was a new thing for him that he found he liked. For so long he had traveled alone and in complete silence, and while there was still a degree of silence and separation between the two of you, it was different.
 The villagers seemed to act like you would just stay there forever. Names were learned, bits and pieces of life stories were swapped, some degree of familiarity was established.
 There was absolutely no way anyone could miss how attentive Omera had become to ensuring you all were still tended to, but especially in regards to Mando. He was civil in return, and you swear he had started to open up to her and go beyond just being polite. You, also, did your best to be civil towards her, but it was difficult for some reason. It was not your place to decide who was allowed to be friends with who, or how they responded to such actions. Not your place to feel put off by another person getting close to arguably the only person you knew beyond vague acquaintance-ship.
  And this didn’t just feel like someone building a friendship, either. You did not know why it bothered you as much as it did. But here you were.
 One day, you, Mando, and Cara Dune were all on the porch of the barn, lounging for lack of a better word. Cara Dune sat reclined in a chair, you on the edge of the porch, and Mando casually leaned back against the wall of the barn. He looked very relaxed and it took you a little more effort than normal not to just stare at the rare sight.
 And then Omera appeared.
 She had been in the barn doing some tidying up, as hosts do. As she exited, she handed a cup of spotchka to Cara Dune, who thanked her, and then she turned to Mando.
 “Can I set you something in the house?” She briefly turned her vision towards you, to indicate the offer was extended to you as well, but it went right back to the bounty hunter before you could answer.
 “Uh… thank you. Maybe later.” He mumbled his answer, awkward as ever. The woman looked back at you, and you shook your head to her offer, not daring to try and open your mouth. She seemed satisfied with that, and turned to watch the village children playing with the child. He’d captured a frog, and wasted no time in stuffing it into his mouth and trying to swallow it like a vine snake. The children laughed and groaned in amused disgust. The frog turned out to be too big for the little one and he spat it out, and everyone cackled as the frog hopped away, no doubt startled by nearly being eaten.
 “He’s very happy here.” Omera’s voice broke the silence on the porch.
 “He is.” The bounty hunter’s voice responded.
 “Fits right in.” And with that, the widow walked away. You watched her leave with narrowly-disguised distaste on your face. The kid was still a target for all you knew, and that little comment implying he should continue to stay just made you realize how little they understood about the consequences that could come their way should the hunters find him. Being able to actually be a child was good, yes, but not at the expense of having another event similar to the raiders, one they wouldn’t have time to plan for.
 Apparently, Cara Dune had some thoughts of her own.
 “So what happens if you take that thing off?” She nodded at Mando, indicating his helmet. “They come after you and kill you?”
 Your distaste turned to her next.
 “No, you just can’t ever put it back on again.” Cara scoffed at his answer. She looked at you to see if you thought it was as ridiculous as she did, a smirk on her face. You narrowed your eyes at her, and her smirk faded a bit. You’d known, and you respected his cultural beliefs not to badger him like she was trying to do.
 “I was gonna say, if that’s it, it wouldn’t be any trouble at all for you to just slip it off and take up living here, raising the kid and sipping spotchka.” She motioned in the direction Omera had left with her glass.
 “The beautiful young widow would be more than happy to help with that.” She looked back at you. “Am I right?”
 Your skin felt like it would scramble right off your body.
 Somehow, hearing Cara Dune confirm that she, too, had seen Omera’s interest in Mando made it all too real in your mind. And she wouldn’t be making such comments if she didn’t think Mando had similar feelings, either.
 Why did it bother you so much?
 You heard your name, realizing she was actually waiting for an answer from you.
 “Yeah, sure.” Your voice was quiet and clipped, a poor attempt to keep your feelings veiled. Cara Dune finally noticed your tense posture, the discomfort very apparent in the line of conversation she’d started up.
 She immediately regretted her teasing about the widow. Unlike you and Mando, she was actually able to read people. Mando may have been oblivious to it, but she could see now that you were more fond of the bounty hunter than she initially thought. She’d sensed some sort of dislike towards Omera from you, with how brief you kept your interactions with her, but this made it make sense. Kriff, you were probably oblivious to it, too.
 Mando’s modulated voice brought her back to the present. “You know, we raised some hell here a few weeks ago. It’s too much action for a backwater town like this. Word travels fast. You might wanna cycle the charts and move on.”
 You leaned your head back, rolling your eyes. “Finally.” You’d only been trying to convince him to do that the moment you’d chased the raiders off. “I thought it was going to take bounty hunters actually showing up to get you to make that decision.”
 You swiveled where you sat to look at the man pointedly. He shook his head lightly. You could almost hear the good-natured smirk under his helmet. You couldn’t help but quirk the corner of your mouth yourself.
 As forward as Omera was with hinting her interest towards Mando, Cara Dune thought, you weren’t too bad of a companion choice for him, either. You might not be the worse of the two, either, as far as the dynamic between you. As long as the buckethead wasn’t alone.
 She looked back to where the kids were all playing. “I wouldn’t want to be the one who’s gotta tell him that it’s time to leave.”
 “I’m leaving him here.”
 You and Cara Dune stared at him.
 “Traveling with me… that’s no life for a kid. I did my job, he’s safe. Better chance at a life here.”
 No. You weren’t going to let him decide that easily.
 “Mando. Do I need to remind you that the kid is being hunted as much as you are?” He started to protest, but you continued, standing up from your seat to face him fully, crossing your arms. “And, like you said, the fight with the raiders will have drawn attention. We sure didn’t kill them all, some got away. ‘Word travels fast’.”
 Mando stared back, at a loss for words, and looked to Cara Dune for backup. She only shrugged, indicating you had a point.
 “...if anyone was going to come, they would have done so by now.”
 You dropped your arms to your sides, an incredulous expression on your face. Really? Really?  
 “Mando-”
 He held up his hand to stop you. Such a simple motion shocked you enough to derail your thoughts. He really wasn’t changing his mind, was he…? Was he that ready to leave the kid behind?
 Was he that ready to be rid of you …?
 Leaving the child here meant your current “job” would no longer exist. It meant having to figure out where to go next, how to start next.
 You weren’t ready for that.
 You looked down at the wood flooring of the porch. You couldn’t figure out how to argue back in a way that didn’t sound selfish. Defeated, you turned away from the beskar-clad man and faced away, looking at the children playing again.
 Mando truly felt like this was the best option for the child at this point. He wasn’t anywhere near an acceptable parental figure, and per your own admission you didn’t do well with kids, either. The kid needed other kids to be around, adults that were willing and happy to raise him. You needed to be able to actually settle down somewhere you could rebuild. This tiny village, with its lack of technology, wasn’t it, and it wasn’t on his cramped ship with his stubborn self, either. You deserved better. He didn’t want to say goodbye to the kid, or to you, but it wasn’t about what he wanted.
 The three of you solemnly watched the child play with the other village children.
 “It’s gonna break his little heart.” Cara Dune muttered.
 “He’ll get over it. We all do.”
 You didn’t want to agree with him, on that last line. But he was right.
-
 Everyone had finished packing, all that was needed was for it to be loaded onto the cargo sled. The air felt weighted, and it wasn’t from the humidity of the surrounding swamp.
 For you, the air got even more oppressive when you saw Mando approach Omera and lead her slightly away from the others to speak to her. You knew he was just asking her to watch after the child. But you could see the way she was looking at him. You could see Mando fidgeting, almost shyly. You could feel your face get tingly. Why was this so hard for you? It wasn’t about you.
 You couldn’t hear the exchange, but you could tell Omera was saying something back at him, and the way her expression changed, you almost felt like she was asking him to stay, too.
 But then, pulling you from your wallowing in self-pity, you felt the same thing you’d felt back at your old home, just before the bounty hunters broke through and your life as you knew it ended. The intense, physical feeling of wrong, of something in your head thrashing about telling you to run. Telling you to grab the kid and run.
 They were here.
 You sprinted towards where the village kids were, focusing in on the child, drawing your blaster.
  "Mando!”  
 Whatever had been happening between Mando and Omera was forgotten, the widow spinning around to see what the shouting was, and Mando falling into a defensive stance, hand going to his blaster handle.
 Your timing couldn't have been better. As you skidded to your knees to grab the frightened child, the village children scattering in confusion and fear, blaster fire rang out and a scorched blast marked the earth right where he had been sitting. You ran in a crouch to hide behind the nearest barrier you could get to, in this case some of the cargo that had yet to be loaded. The child whimpered and clutched at your clothing, and you clutched him closer, blaster raised in your other hand in case you needed to peek around and return fire.
 You heard chatter from the other adults, and peering around the corner of the cargo, you see Cara Dune and Mando rush off int the trees. Omera is quickly herding the children to safety. You stay where you are, slumping against the back of the cargo, knowing Mando won't let whoever's out there get away. You look down at the kid in your grasp, who is looking back up at you with those dark eyes you'd gotten used to.
 "I told him it wasn't safe here."
-
 Just as you had warned him, the shots had come from someone carrying a tracking fob for the child. Cara Dune had seen to the demise of the hunter, and the tracking fob was destroyed. If it had been a different situation, you would have been more smug about being right.
 But as it currently stood, you needed to get out of there as soon as you could.
 The cargo sled was fully loaded, with additional supplies beyond what you’d brought with you, and the child was seated up where he could see out. You sat close by, not wanting to chance having to make a dive for him again. You hadn’t anticipated being so protective, but here you were. The village gathered around to see you off. Cara Dune offered to escort you back, but the decision was made to completely bypass going through town and just go straight to the Razor Crest. For once, you agreed with this decision.
 “Well then, until our paths cross.” the two exchanged a firm handshake. She looked back and nodded at you, and you returned it with a raised hand. It was good to know you had an ally out there now.
 You’d anticipated leaving by then, but when Winta rushed forward you had to suppress a groan. You were so ready to leave behind the other kids and yet here they were again, prolonging the goodbye process. With little regard for any sense of personal space, she wrapped her arms around the child in a hug. You leaned away a little to give them room. You didn’t expect her to release the child and give you a hug, too.
 “I’ll miss you so much.”
 You were frozen, your mind having drawn a blank and your body unsure of what to do. It took you a few moments to regain your senses, and you awkwardly put your hands on her shoulders.
 “Uh… us too.” She pulled back and gave you both a shy smile, and scampered away back to stand by her mother.
 Omera smiled and nodded at you in farewell. You tried to do the same, but you couldn’t guarantee your smile looked anything other than awkward and forced. You were terrible at this.
 “Thank you.”
 Mando nodded at her as well, and finally, he boarded the sled, and you left the small village.
 It was strange, you’d only been on the Razor Crest for a few days before the stay on Sorgan happened and took up the following few weeks of your life, but somehow the ship felt more like home than the village had.
 The three of you all sat in the cockpit area of the ship, Mando at the controls, you sitting in one of the chairs with the child in your lap, you idly letting him mess with your hands.
 Now that it was just you three, your curiosity was getting the better of you.
 “So, Mando… what was Omera saying to you before the bounty hunter attacked?”
 Mando flipped a few more switches and dials on the controls and sat back in his chair. “She was suggesting we stay, too.”      You mean she was suggesting    you      stay,     you thought to yourself.
 “...if the hunter didn’t show, would you have?”
 He turned to look at you. “Would you?”
 You huffed. “I liked being in the trees, but… too remote for my taste. Too closely packed. Too many kids trying to see what I was doing.” Too much of Omera trying to be friendly with the Mandalorian. You didn’t say that part, though.
 He turned back to face the windscreen. “If I had wanted to settle down somewhere, I would have done it years ago.” He folded his hands over his stomach. “I’m not interested in living the sedentary family life.”
 Somehow hearing him say that took a huge weight off your mind. But that still didn’t answer the selfish, nagging question you still had.
 “Did you like her?” You still didn’t know why you cared so much. But while your courage was up and you were on this train, you had to get it out. Mando’s head tilted in your direction slightly.
 “She was… nice. But I don’t think I liked her at all the way she liked me.” He turned back to look at the expanse of space before the ship. He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he was glad that you all got out of there before he had to tell her that. He wasn’t as oblivious as some thought, he could definitely tell that the widow was harboring some kind of affection towards him. He just didn’t feel the same way back, though. He never did. Besides, even if he did, his idea of how to live was so different from hers that it just wouldn’t work. Living on a farm, having and raising kids, staying in one place? Absolutely not.
 You looked down at the child in your lap, tugging on his claws that clutched your fingers, trying to hide the little smile of relief on your face. He perked his ears at you and babbled, seeming to sense you weren’t as weighed down as before.
 “You could’ve been free to go start your infochanting back up somewhere, though.” You looked up, a little surprised at the slightly quieter tone to Mando’s voice.
 He had come to appreciate your company, but he wasn’t about to directly admit it.
 You shook your head and huffed. “Honestly? I don’t mind.”
 You looked back down at the kid, gently grabbing the ends of his long ears and fussing with them, making him squeal.
 “I’m kind of glad to be back on this bucket of bolts with you.”
 You hadn’t made any indication of it, but Mando liked to think you were talking to him just then, and not just the child. Hearing those words stirred something in his chest, and though he couldn’t pin down what it was, he wouldn’t mind feeling it again.
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argumentl · 3 years
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The Freedom of Expression Ep 49 - Ioka Kazuto's New Years Eve tattoo problem.
K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again this week.
T: What is the celebratory sake for?
K: Well, this is our first recording of the new year..
J: Yes
T: Happy New Year
J: Happy New Year. By the time this is broadcast it will already be well into January though.
K: Yes, so..for good luck.
J: Ah, that would be welcome....but Im not gonna drink it.
K: Why?
J: Um, I've said this a few times before, but my resolution for 2021 is to not go so crazy when drinking alcohol, to not get too carried away.
T: Hahaha
J: I've already decided on it.
K: Don't you always say that?
J: No, no, no. Um, recently...was it on the 27th? After the live broadcast? I left afterwards with Tasai.
T: Oh, yeah.
J: We left together, we got a taxi. Then when I arrived home, it was about 2am, right? When I tried to get in my house, I didn't have my keys.
T, K: Eh?!
T: Really??
J: I didn't have my keys..what could I do? I think i actually left them somewhere before i arrived here, and I hadn't been drinking before that. But in the end, I went to a hotel in my neighborhood...like, please let me stay here, I'll pay so please let me stay. So, I woke up the next day and called the real estate agent to ask if they had a spare key..they didn't. They said they'd given all the keys to me. So, I called around a few other places, and by about lunch time I managed to get hold of a key. But I had to go and do a live radio broadcast in this kind of messed up state, so..
T: Eh?!
J: Well, I mean, it wasn't the fault of alcohol this time, but I have lost my pocket wifi before while I was drunk, and my glasses...and Im constantly telling dirty jokes while drunk...so this year..., well, I will drink alcohol, but Im not gonna go wild.
T: Hahaha
K: Thats impossible!
J, T: Hahaha
Kami: Joe san, Joe san...
J: Oh, Kami? What is it? Kami's here.
Kami: Joe, you've become a boring guy.
J, T: Hahaha
Kami: You're trying to play it safe.
J: No, no, no. Can I really carry on? Drinking and going crazy this year too?
Kami: You need to be free. Please don't hold yourself back.
J: Haha 
T: When we were going home in the taxi, you said, 'I think I've messed up'...
J: I was doing a bit of self-reflecting.
T: Your true voice slipped out.
J: I think it did.
K: What? Why, what happened again?
T: Yeah, what was it again?
J: Well, I think it was me just going a bit wild. It felt like I got carried away.
T: You felt that in yourself?
J: Well, I do, don't I? When I drink alcohol?
K: Well, yeah.
J: Kaoru, we've done a lot of events together, right?
K: Yeah, most of the time I'm like, 'Joe, calm down!'
J: And Im supposed to be the moderator!
T: You change places!
J: Right!
K: Also, he had to read out things written in Katakana and stuff, but he couldn't read the difficult words*1
J: There are a few reasons for that. After I've had a drink, I can't read difficult kanji, and also I have bad eyesight. Katakana has loads of spaces in it, right?
T: Maybe we should have let Tasai do it.
T: Yeah, I should have done the reading.
J: Kanji just turns into clumps.
K: Ok, well, today...Tasai, could you get us started?
T: Yes, this is about the big match on last New Years Eve. Its boxing news. It was the WBO super flyweight title match between Ioka Kazuto and Tanaka Kōsei. Ioka won the match, but this news deals with a slightly different aspect. Ioka's tattoos were visible during the match. The boxing commission have said this is a violation of the rules, and are considering imposing a penalty. Questions have been arising on social media like, 'Isn't this a mistake?', and, 'What about individual freedom?' Did you watch the match, Kaoru?
K: No, I didn't, but I saw it on the news.
T: Yeah. And, Ioka had actually covered his tattoos with foundation to hide them before getting in the ring, but sweating made the foundation come off.
J: I see.
T: So, its become a bit of a talking point, what to think about this.
K: This isn't the first time he's done this, right? He covered his tattoos before in other fights?
T: Yeah, to stop the foundation coming off he...
K: But foundation?...can you really hide them with foundation?
J: Haha, yeah, maybe not. They are too solid. So, he went ino the ring without foundation this time?
T: No, he had it on, but it came off with sweat.
J: Wouldn't that happen anyway?
K: If it did, that means its come off everytime up to now.
J: Right? Its not like its only come off this time. Its hard to understands why the JBC are raising this problem only now?
T: Well, its in the rules. The rules for matches are...in the rulebook, Match management section 4, conditions for boxers article 86, it says for things that make spectators feel uncomfortable, such as tattoos...if a boxer has tattoos, they must not appear in the ring.
J: Oh, thats written?
T: Yes, thats written in the rules. There have been cases in the past of boxers getting tattoos surgically removed in order to be able to compete in the ring.
J: Im not sure about this. Feeling uncomfortable just by seeing a tattoo...?
K: Regular people do though, don't they?
J: Do they?
K: Not people like us here, regular people are different.
J: Haha, of course.
K: But its Japanese people...foreigners have seen tattoos as pretty normal for quite a long time.
J: Right. Their police even have tattoos.
K: But we havn't got there in Japan yet. They are still thought of as scary. Even me, if I see someone with tattoos walk in, I don't say anything to them, but I do notice and look at them if they have tattoos.
J: Well..
K: You look though, right?
J: Well, I would think 'oh, they have tattoos'.
K: Yeh, but you would say ????*2
J: Well...
K: You would!
J: Would I? But...this is boxing, right? The spectators have come to watch people hitting each other.
K: Well, yeah, thats right.
J: For example, if a kabuki actor suddenly revealed tattoos all over their body, I have a feeling it wouldn't go down well with people who are going to see traditional arts, but if they are going to see people punching each other, would they be that bothered about tattoos?
K: Its because the rules havn't changed since a long time ago.
J: Yeah. Hmm, Im not sure about this. What's it like overseas?
T: Its totally fine overseas.
J: Its ok, right?
K: They don't mind if foreigners have them.
J: Ah, foreign boxers with tattoos are allowed to fight in Japan?
T: Yes.
K: So I think this is good. It could change how we do things *3
J: Yeah, it creates a stir, because there are quite a lot of people who know about this old rule. Um, even at events and stuff (I MC at a lot of events), some guests are instructed to wear long sleeeves when they attend. This is what Japan is like with tattoos.
T: But I think I read somwhere that the NBA also has the rule to cover tattoos. Like, they will wear armbands and stuff to cover them.
K: Even in baseball, the Giants have banned facial hair.
J: Have they?
T: The Giants have an unwritten code, let me think who had a beard....do you remember Ogasawara Michihiro/Gatz?
J: Oh yeah, the left handed player?
T: Yeah, when he joined the Giants he shaved it all off etc. That type of thing still happens, even now. Have a look next time the Giants play, none of them have facial hair.
J: I don't think foreign players will like these rules that Japanese have. This seems like its against the Constitution. It really does.
Kami: Its discrimination, right?
J: Yes, I agree.
Kami: Nishinari people are sensitive to discrimination.
J: Yeah, I mean, if they are gonna have this rule, they should ban tattoos for everyone in boxing, but to say its ok for foreign boxers but not Japanese ones.. its a bit...
Kami: Its unconstitutional. Its discrimination.
J: Yeh, I think its discrimination. But looking at some of the comments, some say that although its written in the rules, it can't be helped these days.
Kami: Its not fair though, letting Ioka get this incredible win, and then afterwards saying, actually, no.
T: Yes, thats right.
Kami: When I was younger I won at pachinko..
J: Haha, all of a sudden..
Kami: I had quite a babyface, and would get mistaken for being underage. They never said anything to me when I lost...
T: But when you handed in your tickets they told you no because you're underage?
Kami: Yeah, yeah. Even though they said nothing to me when I was losing. Its like they come to stop you after you start winning.
T: I see.
Kami: They will take all the benefits, but when it starts to get unfavorable...I sense that unfairness.
T: Ah, yeh. Well, its true that the boxing commission already knew that Ioka had tattoos. And they asked him to take part.
J: Yeah. Its not like he got the tattoos right before this match.
T: Thats right. Incidentally, he got this particular tattoo in America in 2018, September, to show resovle and determination for his comeback fight. And this time, he has also added his son's name as if to say 'lets fight together'.
J: Oh, thats a nice meaning....Sue them!
T: Sue them?
J: Yes, Tokyo Sports should sue them.
T: Why just us? haha. We should together.
J: ???*4
K: I wonder how this will turn out though.
J: Yeah. Is Ioka following the boxing commission then?
T: He is still waiting to see what they decide.
J: Ah, ok.
T: He is still waiting for their judgment.
J: So like, it will depend on the level of punishment he gets.
K: They'll just say its the rules.
T: In that case, he might just go to America, if he can't fight any matches in Japan.
J: Well, yeah.
T: I think this would be a bigger problem if it happened outside the ring. But its happened within the ring. Its still a fact that tattoos are seen as scary in this culture.
K: It seems so to me, speaking as a person who has tattoos.
J: Thats what you have felt from experience? Exactly.
K: But you could say that he knew this when he got the tattoos. He knew they would tell him to stop.
T: Like, boxers definitely understand this.
K: He knows it, but he is still appearing in the ring, so if he has determination and resolve, its great. If he doesn't, its no surprise if he gets complaints.
J, T: I see.
J: Well, considering he did try to hide it, but the covering just came off, I wonder what will happen. Its not like he can wear clothes over it, right?
K: He could have put tape on it.
J: Oh, right, you can hide it like that too?
T: Yeah, there might be something like skin coloured tape.
J: Kami, can we have a last word from you on this?
Kami: Well, whatever the rules, making them only apply to Japanese is strange, right?
J: Well, yes, thats true. We'll have to keep a look out for what happens with this from now on.
K: Well, yeh.
T: To see how it develops, yeh.
K: Yeah. Kami seemed a bit lacking in vitality today, didn't he?
J: Yeah, he seems down. Kami, did something happen to you at new year time?
Kami: No, no, Im fine! Don't I sound it?
K: You sound like you are lacking a bit of punch.
J: With it being boxing, you'd expect him to have more 'punch'.
K: He just seemed a bit...regular.
J: Yeah.
Kami: Regular? haha.
K: He's laughing, haha.
T, J: Haha
J: The staff are making me laugh.
K: Ok, shall we finish here for today?
J: Yes
K: Ok, please subscribe. Thank you very much.
*1, 3 Not sure this is right.
*2, 4 Couldn't make out
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mallowstep · 3 years
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Let me toss you a 3, an 11, and if you don't mind, a couple outside the list: where would you put yourself on the planner to pantser spectrum? Ever had to deal with unruly characters that just refuse to play nice and throw a wrench into the whole outline?
author asks
(3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favourite scenes first? something else?
uhh i try to do front to back, but usually i start a fic with a few scenes that i'm feeling drawn to. they're not even necessarily important scenes: i just am attacked to them.
(one for ibtwicm that i can share is literally just, "You have to be clever." that's it. it's just one sentence, but it's one of my anchors for the whole fic.)
anyway i try to do front to back, but depending on the fic, i'll sometimes need to do chronological (it hasn't happened for any warriors fics, but it has happened for others). i tend to gain a lot of momentum when i write, and jumping around can break that.
(11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?
akldj this is kind of a hard question to answer because i've been writing like. since i could hold a pencil. i used to have a whole shelf of notebooks going all the way back to like first grade.
specifically to since-i-started-doing-warriors-fic, i'd say i'm a lot more confident in characterization now. in that i trust myself to write interesting characters, and i don't feel like i need to justify my every decision with textual evidence.
honestly, just being more confident is a big thing for me. when i read a lot of the stuff i wrote a few years ago, i usually think, "i wish i had just pushed it farther" because i had this idea that i was just afraid to commit to.
i think my gravity falls fic ("strings") is a turning point in that, because i wasn't like. a huge gravity falls fan. i knew the core characters, but i mostly knew them through some daemon fics i really liked, not the show. and i can't page through episodes of a tv show to get an idea of characterization. so i just. had to write who i wanted them to be.
moving a bit farther back, i'm really proud of how far my dialogue-action balance has come. i've been all over the place: can't write action, can't write dialogue, can't write anything, can write both but not together, etc., and i generally enjoy character study, low dialogue, type things.
but i've noticed, since i started writing fic again, that i don't find myself saying "oh shit, too much has happened between these lines of dialogue" or "god they've been talking for ages, what were they doing again?" half as much as i used to.
planner vs pantster?
planner. i definitely am a pants-y planner, and this depends on the fic, but having a solid outline is really crucial.
like, i don't need an outline to write. the bulk of my med cat dovewing fic was written without an outline, but that was because i Knew i wouldn't post it until i finished writing it, so i could afford to jump around and tie scenes in when i realized where i wanted a plot thread to go. and i couldn't have done that if i was posting as i went, i would have needed to start with the end in mind.
and i usually leave a fair amount of space in my outlines: ibtwicm had like. three or four major plot threads unresolved in the outline until...frankly, until i wrote tallstar's chapter.
in my outline for mtbnsof, it still says that jayfeather stays in thunderclan, not alderheart. then i decided i wanted jayfeather and mothwing's background drama, and a few other reasons.
but mtbsnof also has like. an Insane amount of documentation.
ashes had a big empty hole in my outline for a really long time from...about when leafpool's litter is born to a little after where we are now. obviously i filled it, but i knew what had to happen (the warrior drama, dovekit, marigoldkit, etc.), just not how it was going to happen.
anyway, planner. that's my final answer.
unruly characters?
occasionally, but usually in minor ways. it's pretty rare, nowadays, for me to write a character and have it go off the rails.
(chapter breaks? ohh, those go off the rails a Lot. not just in terms of fics being longer than expected, but just. a chapter Demanding to include a certain scene or end a little early.)
i think the most recent instance is the ships for the three in ashes. i had a whole plan for them and then hjl said No.
also, squirrelflight having a litter in astatine was completely unplanned. i just thought it would be good tension, and it was.
but usually when something goes sideways, the events in the outline don't change, just their portrayal.
like. hm. okay, for "cardamom pods and vanilla beans," i had a scene that was initially titled "Jaywing Observation by Poppyfrost" that was supposed to be from her pov, and something about her affection for him.
but jaywing demanded that he see his girlfriend stare at him. he demanded the emotional intimacy of understanding someone so well you can process their senses.
or in "you've been on my mind, girl, since the flood," millie was supposed to be disconnected from blossomfall, like she was erasing her childhood memories to fit with her current understanding of the world.
and then i thought: actually, no, that's not what's happening, not from blossomfall's perspective. what's happening is she's living with the consequences of her decisions. like.
she "knows" it's wrong to be bitter and upset over briarlight, and she "knows" training in the dark forest was wrong, and so now: she's not the cat treating others with kindness, she's the cat leaning on others' kindness. and so her whole relationship with her mother has been flipped: she is the object of the parable, now, not the listening child.
and that's something i never would have been able to know without writing the first few scenes of ybommgstf, without getting to millie's very first line, "We become what we do," because that's not something i could put on an outline.
it didn't change anything, in terms of the outline: blossomfall's still outwardly acting the same. but my initial plan was for. a sympathetic but abrasive blossomfall. one who started in a reasonable place, but was bitter, wouldn't start the process of change.
and i think the blossomfall i wrote was. mostly the same, but now it wasn't that she wouldn't start the process of change, it was that she quite literally couldn't. i thought it was going to be a lie-she-told-herself, that she just didn't know how to change, but it ended up being very true.
anyway i've rambled on entirely too long. thanks for the qs! always fun to answer.
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downwiththeficness · 3 years
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In the Bond-Chapter 16
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Summary: Lilah often wished she’d never said yes to working with the Gecko brothers—usually while dodging gunfire. At no time was she regretting that decision more than when she’s hanging upside down from the ceiling, staring down a group of hungry culebras and one (1) extremely powerful sun god.
Word Count: ~6,100
Warnings: Smut
A/N: This is an AU of my Story In the Blood, which can be read here. Basically, this fic explores what would have happened if Lilah had met up with Geckos before she met Brasa.
Taglist: @symbiont13
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Lilah woke unwillingly. Rolling over, she scrubbed at her eyes, still swollen from crying herself to sleep. Brasa had held her closely as they drove away from a home Lilah wasn’t sure she would ever return to. She’d managed to hold her tears for about ten minutes, and then her will had given out.
In her state, Lilah could be forgiven for how long it had taken her to notice that they weren’t on course for Brasa’s bar. When she’d asked where they were going, Brasa had simply said, ‘home’.
‘Home’ was quite literally carved into solid stone. Accessible through an elevator hidden cleverly in a low rock formation. It opened into a completely dark corridor. Lilah let Brasa lead her by the hand into the darkness, looking back only once to catch Javier reaching down to close the doors to the elevator carriage, shutting out the only light.
Blind, Lilah’s step had faltered. Brasa took it in stride, wrapping an arm around her and acting as her guide. They reached a door, which opened to… ‘home’. It was, she supposed, average in size, though she hadn’t paid much attention to the architecture. Brasa had cosetted her in yet another deliciously comfortable bed and she had spent the rest of the afternoon and evening putting off Brasa’s questions regarding her well being.
To be fair, Lilah hadn’t known how she felt the night previous. She still wasn’t sure how she felt. Her emotions wavered between indignation and deep depression, both of which made her head ache. She pushed the covers back and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.
Padding quietly to the bathroom by the illumination of a small nightlight shining near the door of the bedroom, Lilah went through the motions of cleaning herself up. No stranger to a rough night, she was unsurprised to find shadows beneath her eyes and her hair in disarray. A quick look in the vanity drawers found a comb that the used to gingerly comb out the tangles.
After washing her face, Lilah made her way to the bedroom door, peering out into the hallway. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she tip toed towards the living room. In the few moments that she’d spent standing at the threshold, waiting for Brasa to shrug off his coat and hang it up, she’d noticed how sumptuous the furniture was—an overstuffed couch, soft carpets, dark and heavy woods. Everything was all rich fabric and soft textures. And yet, it was strangely bare. No pictures, no art, no...personality.
As she made her way deeper into the house, Lilah came upon Brasa sitting in the plush chair, a book in his hand. Head bent over the pages, he looked...so completely normal that she had to blink a few times to make sure that it was, indeed, him.
Sensing her approach, he looked up, eyes assessing, “How did you sleep?”
Lilah watched as he closed the book, setting it aside, She watched as he stood and approached. She watched as he became more concerned as she failed to respond. He grasped her above the elbows, head dipping to catch her eyes. Lilah couldn’t hold the gaze, and felt ridiculous for it.
“You should eat,” he pronounced, turning her and leading her gently through a set of double doors to a small, intimate dining room.
He bade her to sit, moving past the room and through to the kitchen. Lilah leaned her elbows on the table, resting her head in her palms as she waited. Drowsy from too much sleep, she blinked lazily into the middle distance, until movement in her periphery caught her attention.
Brasa approached, a plate in one hand, a glass of water in the other. He placed both before her, nudging the plate when she hesitated. Lilah looked down at what he made, a small chuckle sounding from low in her throat. Eggs in a basket. Toads in a hole. He’d remembered.
Charmed, and more than a little grateful, Lilah picked up the fork and cut into the edge of the toast, nicking the egg yolk. As she chewed,  she glanced over at Brasa, who was watching her. Though his posture was relaxed, there was a sharp light in his eyes that signaled he was studying her carefully.
“He will change his mind,” he said casually, gesturing smoothly with one hand.
Lilah paused, swallowing, “What?”
Brasa smiled, “Seth. He will change his mind.”
Eyes falling to her plate, Lilah busied herself with cutting into the second piece of toast, “You know that?”
“I do,” he answered.
“How?”
He shrugged, “I’m old.”
“You’ve mentioned.”
With a smile, he countered, “Old enough to know how men like Seth think. He’ll be mad for a while, but if he cares for you—and I think he does—he will come around.”
Lilah sighed and leaned back into her chair, “I’m so mad at him.”
Brasa nodded, saying nothing, waiting for her to continue. She looked to the ceiling, trying to gather her thoughts, to sort her emotions in a way that made any kind of sense.
“I know he’s struggling to accept…” she gestured broadly, “All of this. I mean, I’m still trying to accept it. But...the way he treated me, like a…”
Lilah stopped, ‘kid sister’ sitting like lead on her tongue. Her eyes closed as the implications of her own thoughts sunk in. He’d treated her just like a kid sister, an annoying kid sister that didn’t know what they were doing. And, somehow, that made her feel worse.
Sensing her unease, Brasa leaned forward and touched her hand, brushing his fingers over the back, “As I said. He will get over it.”
Casting him a sorrowful look, she murmured, “I hope so. We’re friends, you know?”
“I know.”
“And,” she continued, turning her hand over to thread her fingers through his, “I still want to be friends.”
He nodded, giving her hand a squeeze before picking up her plate and taking it to the kitchen. Lilah fiddled with her glass in a kind of soft resignation. This would have to play out however it was going to. Pushing the issue wasn’t going to make things better. Neither was dwelling on it. Still, she gave herself permission to feel sad for a while. That seemed fair.
Brasa returned and held out a hand to her, which she took. They walked amiably back to the living room where he sat her down on the couch and handed her the remote.
“I have some work to do,” he explained, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of her head, “It’ll take a few hours. Then, we’ll decide what to do for the evening.”
Lilah spent maybe half an hour scrolling through the many streaming services that were on the top menu of the TV, amazed that Brasa had gotten so fully up to speed on modern entertainment. Furtively, she glanced through some of his watch history, smiling when she noted that he’d made it all the way through every season of House and, oddly enough, had recently watched The Princess Bride.
Eventually, she settled on restarting Drunk History from the beginning. Prior to signing on with the Gecko brothers, she’d watched a few episodes a month in her down time. There were always TVs on in the bar, so she’d never thought to purchase one for her room. Now seemed a good time for some comfort.
Brasa had been right when he’d said that his work would take a few hours. Lunchtime came and went, Lilah making her way to the kitchen and finding that he’d stocked it with some basic staples. They were going to have to take a shopping trip, though. The man had eggs, bread, a bag of various fruits, and a jug of milk. Her guess was that he’d googled basic foodstuffs and had run with it.
After eating her meal perched over the sink, Lilah washed her dishes and returned to the couch to start the next season. That was where Brasa found her, half asleep, stretched out over the cushions. He smiled as he approached, reaching down to lift her legs and sit, draping her feet over his lap.
“Done for the day?”
He shrugged, “In one manner of speaking.”
“What does that mean?”
Another shrug, “Benny’s following has grown again. We think he’s turning a few humans a week.”
Her brows came together, “What does that mean for you?”
Brasa took a few seconds to think about it, his fingers drawing little circles over the sensitive skin of her ankle, “It means that he is likely going to resort to violence, and soon.”
Lilah felt her muscles tense, a kind of latent anxiety rolling along her body, “How do we prevent it?”
Looking at her, his expression was soft, but sure, “I don’t think we can.”
She sat up, disbelieving, “Why not?”
Turning a little bit so that he could prop his arm up on the back of the couch, Brasa explained, “Men like this…there is only one thing that checks them, and I promised you that I would look at other options. He wants blood, will be satisfied by nothing else.”
Lilah pulled her legs up and under her body, folding her hands in her lap, “We can talk to him, right?”
“We tried that.”
“For like two seconds,” she countered, her anxiety melting into frustration, “There has to be a way. Nobody has to die for this.”
Head tilting to the side, he said, “When has, essentially, a coup, ever not resulted in bloodshed?”
Lilah rolled her eyes, “This isn’t a coup. Its...an administrative change.”
Brasa shot her a look that very clearly said that she was bullshitting, “In their eyes, I have taken away their way of life. You know this.”
She shook her head, “You’re giving them a better life. A life where they’re not hiding in the dark, picking off humans, and running from local hunters.”
“Some don’t see it that way.”
There was a kind of finality in his tone, a tension borne of having had this argument over and over with different people. Lilah sighed and wriggled deeper into the couch, feeling not a little bit petulant.
Brasa reached over and took her hand in a loose grasp, “This is not the first time I’ve brokered peace—did so just recently with the most stubborn people I’ve ever met, if you’ll recall.”
She laughed, “Yeah. There were a couple times I almost threw something at one or all of you during those meetings.”
One side of his mouth quirked up, “I could tell. You do not hide your feelings well.”
“Um, excuse me, I think I do,” Lilah shot back.
The little quirk in his mouth widened to a smile, “You do not. At least, not from me.”
Again, she rolled her eyes, “That’s because of the bond.”
He hummed in the negative, “You have a very expressive face.”
Lilah scoffed, “I have an excellent poker face.”
This earn her a low chuckle, “You do not.”
“I was able to keep the bond a secret for months.”
Brasa leaned into her space, his hand running up the length of her arm to settle behind her neck, “Richie knew within seconds of seeing you the night we met. And Seth’s powers of perception are mediocre, at best.”
Lilah was not too proud to admit that she was a little dazed at how close they were, coffee and caramel filling her senses. He’d given her a lot of space over the last twenty four hours—she wasn’t even sure where he’d slept. She found herself yearning to crawl right into his lap and stay there for the rest of the night, and some part of her figured that he’d probably let her.
But, while he’d been working, she’d been thinking. And, the first order of business was to get some food that would make more than one kind of meal in the house.
“We need to go shopping,” she said, smiling when he tilted his head to the side in confusion, “Groceries. We need them—well, I need them.”
Brasa gave a curt nod, rising and pulling her to standing, “Do you want to go now?”
Knowing that she looked pretty fucking bad, Lilah shook her head, “Let me get cleaned up. I’ll be out in about forty minutes.”
She took her time with getting ready, making sure that she washed every inch of skin, shampooed and conditioned her hair, covered her dark circles, and put on some fresh, clean clothes. As she dug into her bag for socks, her phone and the case for her comm fell out. She touched them gingerly, noting that there was no service and that the comm was redundant, given that she didn’t have anyone to connect with. She tucked both away.
In the end, it took a little longer than forty minutes, but Brasa didn’t seem to mind. When she emerged from the bedroom, he was lounging on the couch, CSPAN playing on the TV.
Lilah’s eyes narrowed, “Why are you watching this?”
His eyes scanned her lazily, taking her in, “You didn’t think my entire business was in medical supplies, did you?”
She shrugged, “We never discussed it in detail.”
Reaching for the remote, he turned off the TV and stood, “I like a diverse portfolio. Keeps things stable  across the board.”
Lilah knew nothing about stocks, and even less about portfolios, “I’m sure that’s a good strategy.”
“It can be, though some people prefer a more adventurous technique.”
She moved towards the door, looking over her shoulder at him, “But, not you.”
He followed, “No.”
That tracked. Every decision Lilah had ever seen him make was calculated with brutal efficiency. Brasa did nothing by halves, nor did he make impulsive decisions. It was one of the things that Lilah liked most about him.
The hall was dark as it had been the day before, a chilling lack of light—except for a small triangle in the distance, the illumination so dull that it almost didn’t look real. As before, Brasa took her hand, leading her. As before, she went willingly. Unlike before, Lilah was alert enough to ask questions.
“What is this place?”
Brasa’s voice sounded next to her, “I’ve already told you.”
“Yeah, but what is it?”
They neared the light, and it was cast in shadow for a moment as Brasa pressed the button, “I needed a more secure place, a place to allow myself true rest. A place where I could keep you safe, when the time came.”
Leaning into his side, she asked, “Because of Benny?”
Though she couldn’t see him, Lilah felt him shake his head, “I have lived a life of nearly total violence. That comes with a cost.”
And, here they were, back to the same conversation they’d had at least twice before. Her safety. Her weakness. Her humanity—though, not her mortality.
“You think I’m safer underground?”
The doors opened and Brasa ushered her inside, “Only Javier and I—and now, you—know about it. It is secret.”
She smirked at him, “I’ve always wanted a secret hideout.”
He returned her mirth, “I live to serve.”
They held hands all the way to the surface and up until Brasa helped her up and into an SUV that was hidden in what basically amounted to a hollowed out rock. Lilah had to hand it to them. If she hadn’t known that this was here, she would have never guessed. There was literally no indication that the formations were anything but rocks, once all the entrances were closed.
She looked up a local store and they headed out, guided by the navigation in the dash. As they drove, Lilah drew up a list on her phone, having memorized her standard grocery order long ago. To it, she added a few items that she might not otherwise pick up, telling herself that she deserved a treat or two after the emotional fallout of her confrontation with Seth. She also decided that she was going to pick up a few bottles of wine.
Lilah had to admit that she never once thought about what it would be like to see Brasa in such a mundane setting. She doubted that he did his own shopping, what with Javier taking care of most menial tasks. Now, she was watching him step through the automatic doors of a local supermarket, his head turning to glance at her for direction.
It was surreal. Truly surreal. Lilah had the insane urge to laugh as she looked from him to the milling crowd that parted around him. She caught a few curious glances from them, even further amused that Brasa seemed to take no notice.
Shaking herself from her thoughts, Lilah took his arm and led him to the shopping carts, pulling one from the long line and taking a moment to study the layout of the store. Tall shelves were lined one after another, stocked full with wares.  Veering to the left, she headed for the bins of fresh fruits and vegetables.
Lilah was intimately aware of the way Brasa observed her going from bin to bin, picking out one or two and setting in the cart. He gave her space, but paid attention to how she chose her wares. Lilah mostly ignored him, focusing on trying to get enough to last her at least a few days.
As they passed the dairy aisle, Brasa finally said, “Things have moved...so quickly in the last few hundred years.”
She was leaning down to pick up an extra carton of eggs when he spoke, her head turning awkwardly to look at him, “What does that mean?”
He pushed his hands into his pockets, giving a shrug, “Advancements that would have taken a millennia several thousand years ago now happen in a hundred.”
Putting the eggs in the cart, Lilah thought about it for a moment, moving slowly towards the canned food, “I suppose you’re right.”
“I am,” he pronounced, smug.
She scoffed, pulling cans off the shelf to stock the small pantry behind the kitchen. Her voice, when it came, was tinged with a tease, “I’m an ancient vampire, I’m so smart, and I’ve seen everything.”
His laugh was soft, but genuinely amused, his chin dipping down towards his chest in a movement that was nothing short of demure. If Lilah were just some anonymous person in this store, if she were looking at him for the first time in that moment, her breath would have caught—as it was now—and she would have scurried away feeling so completely embarrassed at finding a total stranger so endearing.
As it was, she wasn’t anonymous. He very much knew her, a thought that would have been no less than frightening a year ago. Lilah felt no such fear now, only warmth that unfurled comfortably in her chest.
Brasa steered her down an aisle, gesturing at a shelf full of Gatorade, “Javier has sent me four texts reminding me that you will need this.”
Mouth open, Lilah stared at him in confusion for several seconds, “I will?”
He nodded, “Javier is adamant that I keep this in stock. He says you prefer the red color.”
Agog, Lilah asked, “How the fuck does he know that?”
Brasa cast her a look that said she should know the answer to that question. Javier might be quiet and unassuming, but he was better than the FBI at finding out the minutiae of people’s lives.
“Okay,” Lilah relented, “He’s right, but I don’t know why you would need to keep it on hand. Its not like I’ll need to constantly replenish my—oh.”
Without another word, Lilah leaned down and picked up two packs, setting them in the cart. She lost her battle to keep the nervous laugh at bay when she glanced at Brasa’s smirking face. He wasn’t even trying to hide the satisfaction in his expression. To give herself something to do other than smile stupidly, she turned her attention to navigating to the check out.
Brasa was quietly helpful in loading the groceries onto the conveyor, and Lilah didn’t miss how he maneuvered around her to pay before she could get her card out of her pocket. Casting him a knowing smile, Lilah moved past him, hands briefly touching his hips so that she could slide out from between the partitions to load the cart.
A few minutes later, she was pushing it out into the warm, humid night, and towards where he’d parked the SUV. A few more minutes, and they were making their way back to what she was going to continually call the ‘secret hideout’. The title brought a small, ‘secret smile’ to her lips.
As they pulled to a stop, that small smile turned into a grin. She looked to Brasa, “You’re about to be witness to an ancient human custom, going back at least a century.”
Head cocked to the side, Brasa looked at her in confusion, “I believe I am aware of most human customs, ancient or otherwise.”
Rolling her eyes, Lilah hopped out of the car and made her away around to the trunk, pushing the button to initiate the automatic open. She’d only picked out enough food to last for the week she promised him when he’d been negotiating her stay. Lilah was not going to think about how she likely would have to extend her stay indefinitely.
Lilah reached down and looped a few bags over her arm, “So it goes like this: No matter how much you buy, you never, ever, take more than one trip to get it in the house.”
Brasa looked at her arm, laden with bags, and back to the rest, his brow rising, “I...was not aware of this custom.”
She fixed him with a serious look, “Its a very important tradition.”
A little crease formed between his brows as he studied the bags they had left. Lilah swallowed the laugh that threatened to break the whole act apart, and hefted a few more onto her free arm. Brasa looked at what she carried, then leaned in and snagged the rest, hoisting them effortlessly in one arm.
She stared at him, chastising herself for forgetting how powerful he really was. She chastised herself further when she stayed right where she was as he reached up, closed the trunk, and tugged one of her arms free of the bags. It wasn’t until she was looking at his back as he opened the door to the elevator that she was able to make her feet move.
As they made the descent, Brasa shifted the bags to one arm and took her hand, turning it over to see how the bags had made little creases in her skin in the short time before he’d taken the load.
“I don’t understand this tradition,” he muttered, thumb rubbing at her palm.
Lilah smirked, “You don’t have to understand it to be a part of it.”
His eyes lifted from where they were studying her skin, “You are right. Some things just are.”
She had the distinct feeling that he wasn’t talking about defeating the grocery bag challenge. The weight behind his gaze made that place in the back of her mind flare up, the bond almost stinging her. Reflexively, her fingers curled, wrapping around his thumb.
There was a clinical ‘ding’ and the doors opened. Adjusting his grip, Brasa led her into the hall and to the door. A few taps, and the door opened. They carried the bags into the kitchen and Lilah took her time figuring out where to put everything.
As she was standing in the middle of the kitchen with a small bag of potatoes, Brasa’s phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, held up a finger, and stepped from the room. She looked at the place where he’d been for a few seconds before shaking herself to attention. The potatoes could stay on the counter.
It was then that her stomach reminded her that she hadn’t eaten in several hours. With new food to choose from, she found herself a little bit at a loss as to what to make. In his kitchen, bare save for the food and the tools she needed to cook it with, she again longed for comfort. Broccoli cheese soup, it was.
With renewed purpose, Lilah began assembling the ingredients and putting a pot on the burner. She hadn’t made this particular recipe since high school, when she was still living with a family that she hadn’t talked to in years. Her hand on the knife paused as she took that in.
When she was running dangerous jobs for shady people, she had deliberately cut them off in fear for their safety. Now, she knew she could definitely never rekindle that relationship. What would happen in ten years, twenty, fifty, when she didn’t age, when she didn’t die?
Sniffing, she set her mind to cutting the broccoli florets into one inch pieces. There was no need to deepen the emotional anguish she’d experienced this week. She could do that at another time. Just to be safe, she opened a bottle of wine and left it and the glass on the counter to breathe.
As she was preparing to stir in the cheese to thicken the broth, Brasa returned. He leaned against the counter to watch her cook, arms crossed.
“Work?” she questioned lightly.
He gave a nod, “Javier worries.”
She hummed, glancing over her shoulder at him, “And?”
Pushing from the counter, he touched the small of her back. His hand traveled around her waist to rest just below her belly button. Lilah leaned into him, her head tilting to the side so that he could lay his chin on her shoulder. She relaxed into his hold, stirring slowly, in no hurry to move. Eventually, the soup thickened up as it was supposed to, and she reached up to turn the burner off.
Brasa already had a bowl ready for her, a spoon in his other hand. Lilah took it with a grateful nod and ladled a serving for herself. Rather than sit at the dining room table, Lilah hopped up onto the counter and spooned some into her mouth.
“You going to answer my question?”
His eyes dropped, though his mouth quirked in amusement, “He thinks we should be more aggressive with Benny.”
Lilah waved her spoon at him, indicating that he should continue.
“I find myself wondering if I should follow that advice.”
“Why?”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping, “His numbers grow along with the recklessness of his actions. He attacked a hotel last night, slaughtered the guests and staff. The police are investigating.”
Swinging one leg, Lilah asked, “You can’t buy them, bribe them to close the investigation?”
“We are working on that. The police chief is...remarkably stubborn about policy. Javier wants to eat him.”
She should not have laughed, but the thought of the prim and dapper Javier ripping the throat out of a police officer did not mesh together. He’d be too worried that he’d get blood on his suit.
When she finished, Lilah slipped down from the counter and rinsed out the bowl, setting it in the sink to clean later, “You want to watch a movie?”
“I could do that.”
“Cool,” she replied, already heading for the living room, grabbing the bottle of wine she’d opened along with the glass, “Where do you keep your extra blankets?”
She picked the softest, fluffiest one of the bunch and threw it over them both as they sat next to each other on the couch. Wine glass in hand, Lilah flicked through the streaming channels, already knowing which selection she was going to make.
His hand on her thigh, Brasa settled deeper into the cushion, letting out a light chuckle as she hit play, “I like this one.”
“Me, too,” she said, shifting so that she could lay her head on his shoulder.
Warm, full, and comfortable, Lilah found herself drifting even as Princess Buttercup argued with the Dread Pirate Roberts. The familiarity of Brasa’s scent wrapped around her and the story on the screen made everything inside her loosen for the first time since she’d left behind an angry Seth—well, that and two glasses of excellent wine.
By the time the credits rolled, Brasa had leaned back into the arm of the couch, pulling Lilah down to lay atop him. Her body pressed against his, Lilah soaked up his unnatural warmth. His arms held her loosely, but his hands were firm on her back and hip.
Lilah pushed up on her hands, looking down at him, “Thanks for bringing me here.”
“Of course,” he said, a little too quickly, “Of course.”
She smiled, dropping to an elbow and kissing him. Intending it to be a sort of ‘thank you’, Lilah started to pull away only to feel Brasa cup the back of her neck and hold her in place as he twined his tongue with hers. He warmed beneath her, burning hot, body arching. Lilah pulled her knees up underneath her, balancing on one hand so that she could run the other down the front of his shirt to pull it from where he had it tucked into his slacks.
He lifted his hips when she moved around to the back, his own hands roaming over her jean clad legs, pulling on each so that she sat astride him. And then, in a move she could have never accomplished on her own, he swung his legs over the edge of the couch and stood. Her ankles crossed to anchor her body on his hips, her hands grasping frantically to clasp the back of his neck. Lilah laughed as he kissed her cheek, her neck, her shoulder, all the while moving towards the bedroom.
He laid her carefully on the bed and systematically undressed her. Shoes, socks, jeans, underwear, shirt, bra—everything was peeled off without ceremony, without patience. Lilah was stripped bare before her brain caught up to the fact that this was actually going to happen. And then he was crawling over her, his mouth sealing over hers.
He kissed her like he was starved, as if he might never kiss her again. Deep, unrelenting kisses that left her gasping beneath him. She reached up to to get at the buttons of his shirt, managing to get one or two free before he was moving down her body, nuzzling the skin between her breasts. Thumbs circling her nipples, he drew one into his mouth, releasing it with a wet sound. He licked at her biting down gently, and laving the spot with his tongue.
Shifting a little to the side, Brasa pulled her knee up and around his waist, fingers drifting so that he could run them up the length of her slit. She keened, spine arching up so far that her shoulders lifted off the mattress. Her skin was seared where they touched, sizzling with sensation that only seemed to grow. He massaged her in wide circles, the pad of his forefinger brushing over her opening.
Rubbing his cheek against her, Brasa moved steadily downwards, kissing and sucking and nipping until he rested between her spread thighs. If Lilah had any thought that he would ease into it, those thoughts were shattered by one long, enthusiastic lick. Sighing into the motion, he sucked at her folds, emitting a contented growl when her legs tightened around his shoulders.
He held her open, wedging his massive body into her hips until her inner thighs ached with the strain. Lilah was beyond caring, her fingers digging into the pillow beneath her as she rose higher and higher towards orgasm. There was no teasing, no drawing this out. Brasa worked with a singular purpose, tongue swirling around her clit, hands holding her up to his mouth.
She grit her teeth, the need so vast and deep that it became a vibrant pain, soothed only by his touch. It tunneled down deep into her bones, sticking in her throat when she cried out, the spasms raking over her voice so that it came out hoarse and rasping.
Lilah breathed forcefully, eyes squeezed shut as he worked her through it, easing up when she shook, too sensitive. When she was able to look down at him, he was rolling his tongue over his lips, eyes focused on where she was still fluttering sporadically. Her mouth went dry at the sight, the hunger that he wasn’t even attempting to veil.
The hand on her hip rotated, and she felt him push two fingers inside her, the motion sending little frissons of electricity over the nerve endings. She shivered. He smiled, fangs peeking out. Then, he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean, black gaze watching her reaction. Lilah bit her lip, giving up totally on controlling her breathing.
He kissed his way up her body, settling atop her. Lilah pulled him even closer, yanking at the buttons of his shirt. It was nearly impossible to focus when he was kissing her, hands turning her head so that he could nuzzle against her neck, inhaling. She gave herself some credit. She got his shirt unbuttoned and halfway down his arms before she got distracted by a particularly hard nip just above her collarbone.
Hissing, she pulled him up, trying to gain a little leverage to push him over onto his back. Lilah was not successful. He held her down, smirking when she made a small sound of frustration.
“I want,” she started, a whine cutting off the rest of the words.
Brasa caught her hands, holding them down onto the mattress with almost his full weight, “What is it?”  
Oh, now he wants to tease, she thought.
“Is this what you want?” His hips swiveled in a slow, firm grind, “I’ll give it to you, if its what you want, querida.”
Lilah moaned, writhing beneath him, desperate to get the friction she needed. She was close, close enough that she was willing to forgo any sense of pride to get there.
“Yes, yes,” she breathed, head thrown back as he rolled his hips against her.
He let go of one of her wrists, and she felt him reach down and open the fly of his slacks. Lifting off just enough to kick off the offending material, Brasa laid back down, gathering her to him. The next kiss was venom soaked, sweet and hot. Lilah groaned, pushing her hips into him, needing to feel him inside her.
Brasa slid in to the hilt in one strong, fluid motion that filled the emptiness inside Lilah completely. Her breath stuttered in her lungs, her legs lifting to accommodate him. He was so fucking hot—his mouth, his body, his cock. Sweat pooled in the hollows and bend of her limbs, darkening the hair at her temple. She gripped his shoulders, pulled on the shirt he still wore, caught by the buttons on his cuffs.
And then he was moving. The sound of his cock pushing into her wet body, the feeling of him both easing and stirring the blooming ache of her arousal, the way he ground out a helpless sound against her neck. It all meshed together, overwhelming her until she could do nothing but hold on as he fucked her.
The pleasure grew inside her, reaching into every inch of her body. She wailed, head thrown back, fingers fisted in his hair. Spurred on, his pace picked up, breath punching out of him when she raked her nails up his back. It took very little to push her the rest of the way over the edge, the feeling spiraling through her.
Brasa’s grip on her tightened as he thrust into her one last time, his spine arched, lips pulled back from his fangs. She could feel him pulsing, could feel every reflexive spasm as he came.
When his strength returned, Brasa rolled gingerly off her, his large hand tracing down the center of her body to rest heavily on her belly. She grasped it, holding him by the wrist as she caught her breath. Lilah looked over at him, smiling at the fact that he was still wearing that shirt, though she’d torn the collar and it was wrinkled beyond nearly all recognition.
Her fingers touched the tear, “That’s going to be a difficult one to explain to the dry cleaner.”
Brasa smirked as he unbuttoned the cuffs around each wrist, “I may keep it like this.”
Lilah’s brows lifted, “Like a memento?”
He hummed in confirmation.
“I didn’t realize you were so sentimental.”
Throwing the shirt off the side of the bed, Brasa laid on his side, observing her from where he’d perched his head on his palm, “I am not, generally. But, with you…” He trailed off as he leaned down and kissed her softly.
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justusandlove · 4 years
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Now that this part of the story is done and Vanity are (seemingly) over, I just want to say a few things about this storyline and last night's episodes in particular. This is just my opinion, I want to be clear about that, feel free to disagree 😊 (LONG POST!)
- Vanessa's absence
I always thought they would never go with a cheating plot for Vanity right now because Vanessa's absence would have erased the purpose of cheating storylines: reveal and aftermath for the couple. Emmerdale still decided to go for it and proved me right. The lack of Vanessa's pov is the true failure of this story. Not only it doesn't work without her but the emotional component of this plot was lacking because we never saw the couple's feelings, we never got to explore the aftermath on both sides, we never had a proper confrontation or break up moment post reveal.
Cheating storylines need both characters on screen.
- Weak writing/plot holes/characters being ooc
From a creative pov, this story is extremely forced and far fetched. The whole set up for the kiss with Charity thinking Vanessa had someone else ( only to say Vanessa wouldn't cheat on her two days later) and then thinking they were over makes no sense. The whole thing about the kiss "becoming" an affair makes no sense. Tracy being the one taking the photo requires a lot of suspension of disbelief. Charity not showing an ounce of remorse after kissing Mackenzie is a bit much even considering her state of mind in that moment. The story is imo unnecessarily dramatic and convulted.
- Charity
I'm gonna be honest here. I think there's very little to salvage of Charity's behaviour in this storyline even taking into consideration her personality and her past. I genuinely think Charity wouldn't have cheated on Vanessa but if we have to accept canon then her actions really hurt. It's not the kiss itself for me, it's the fact that she did it when Vanessa was battling cancer, the day after the adoption and didn't show any remorse, didn't have any intention to come clean until she was cornered. And the lying. Ugh, I hate the lying especially after their last break up.
I think Charity needs to learn to be on her own, to find happiness inside herself, in her relationship with the kids, through her personal and professional achievements before being able to be in a solid relationship. She needs to learn that she can live without Vanessa, without depending on anyone. Missing Vanessa is understandable but losing her mind like that, no. Love yourself Charity please 🥺
Having said that, I genuinely think she loves Johnny (and Vanessa obvs) and I hope she will have the chance to co-parent him, she's his mum after all 🥰
- Tracy
Oh Tracy.
First of all, I understand Tracy, i understand what she's going through, she's pregnant, she's about to lose Nate, Frank's dead and Vanessa isn't coming back because of Charity. So I understand her position, she's always been very protective of Vanessa and her relationship with Charity has been a rollercoaster to be fair. Lots of highs but some very bad lows too.
That said, after last night it's more than clear that Tracy played a MASSIVE role in Vanity's split. Her actions, her words, and her opinions have influenced the direction of the story in a very significant way. It's all for plot of course, Vanessa wasn't coming back anyway but like I said before, canon exists and Tracy did her part.
Her words to Charity come from a place of anger for sure but I think there's some truth in what she said. I think Tracy doesn't trust Charity completely (and probably never will) and we've seen her negative reactions before more than once. So I think she's in character but her reaction is obviously exaggerated.
- Noah
He's the person I feel sorry for the most in this story. He was happy, he loved Vanessa, he loved the little family unit they had. It took him quite a while to trust Vanessa because he was scared Charity would mess up and he'd end up losing someone he cared about again. And now, he's back to square one 😭😭😭 I really hope Vanessa will keep in contact with him and Sarah.
- Vanity
I don't know what to say about Vanity. We're in some sort of limbo where they're broken up for good but we didn't get any proper closure which feels weird and anticlimactic. Anyway, Vanity need to explore their issues before getting back together, whenever that will be. It's clear now that they both need to take responsibility for their mistakes and make an effort to do better, otherwise what's the point?
Also enough misery. Emmerdale has basically run Vanity into the ground, they've put them through drama after drama without time to breathe. The audience needs to be reminded of happy Vanity, a couple that was fun, solid, loving, sexy, a couple to root for.
I can't wait for Vanessa's return and I hope the show will give them the slowburn they need and deserve before they get back to us in all their glory 🥰
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iaintyourbro · 4 years
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I’ve just read your piece on Zack & Cloud (you nailed it). What Zack & Aerith has together as a couple is much much more than what she will ever have with Cloud. Zack & Aerith has a long and meaningful romantic relationship, this same ‘romantic relationship’ never existed with soldier/true-Cloud, ever. Zack importance to Aerith and Cloud should’ve never ever been questioned, period.
Hey anon! 
I agree 100%... Aerith’s interest in Cloud did begin because of Zack. She wanted info on Zack. This was more clear in the Remake since she flat out comes out and says it was the first guy she loved AND tries to tell Cloud his name. In Crisis Core, she wrote 89 letters to the guy. One every two weeks for four years. She waited four years. Four. Years. 
I would say that’s not something small. Zack obviously meant the world to her. She also meant a lot to Zack. When he realized she’d written her last letter and it’d be four years, he was devastated. He tells Cloud while still in the Inn in Nibelheim that they needed to get to Midgar because he saw the list of 23 tiny wishes.
Zack and Aerith’s relationship was a focus in Crisis Core. There were a lot of cute moments between the two of them. Something we don’t see with even Tifa and Cloud, but this is also due to a personality differences between the four of them.
Aerith was shy at first - she was young - Zack was the charming, handsome guy that was friendly to her. 
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He called her an Angel when he woke up in her church. Zack immediately seemed taken with Aerith here. Yes, he was described as a flirt, and in OG they pretty much called him a womanizer (this is where some of this hate is coming from... I don’t think it was supposed to be taken so seriously). In Crisis Core, Zack gets teased about talking to Aerith because everybody knows she’s special. In OG, Zack’s parents say that he did write home about a girlfriend. 
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What did Cloud do? Gave her a dirty look and didn’t even remember who she was.  Even though he’d met her before. Cloud doesn’t like people, though, especially not people he doesn’t know. However, he will help anybody - even people he doesn’t know - and Aerith appears to need help before he leaves the church. 
The first two pictures on the top are when he first sits up. The second one in particular is him backing up from her like “Who tf are you?” This is just Cloud. This isn’t specifically against Aerith. He would have done this with anybody he didn’t know. 
The third picture is him looking up at the hole in the church roof and probably wondering how he’s even still alive. The last one is right after she says “Nice to meet you again!” This look cracks me up. It is that like of “Ooookayyy.” Go watch it. It’s hilarious to see him change his face when he turns his head. 
The pictures of Cloud kind of crack me up. I would really like to see the same scene that Crisis Core had with Zack falling through to see the level of animation on his face. The graphics were good for the time, but the new technology really helps to show a lot of what’s going through their minds. 
In Remake, they made sure to have two holes in the ceiling after Cloud falls through to show where Zack fell through and where Cloud fell through. Of course Aerith is excited - she just had a guy fall through the church just like Zack did... and he has Zack’s sword and clothes on. 
This just shows the difference between Cloud and Zack and how they are. Zack was flirty and charming. Cloud is... well, Cloud is Cloud. He’s not smooth (he tries and does succeed a few times I suppose), but he’s an awkward ham. This was a stranger to him and he just wanted to go home at this point.
Aerith’s personality in CC vs OG and Remake shows her character growth. Mostly due to her experiences with Zack... she picks up on some of his confidence and mannerisms. Zack helped Aerith feel confident, just like he helped Cloud feel more confident.
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I think some of the scrutiny and looks Cloud gets around Sector 5 may be related to this above comment from the Attendant. They seem to like Zack very quickly. I think they start off when Aerith first brings Cloud to Sector 5 with thinking maybe he’s like Zack, but seem turned off by him pretty quickly, because he’s nothing like Zack in how he acts. 
I also found it comical that Aerith’s reaction to the guy’s second comment is that they just meant, but her next line is contemplating that perhaps something IS there between them...
This is how she acts when her and Cloud are called a couple in Wall Market:
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Sad. She just  looks sad. She doesn’t want this. She was okay with it being about Zack 5 years prior to this, but I think it also reminds her of that moment. It’s painful for her. Cloud also doesn’t react positively. Sadly we don’t have a good view of Zack’s reaction because, well, it wasn’t a cut scene and they really didn’t animate idle characters back in the day. 
Zack teases Aerith. A lot. He makes fun of her for being picky about the flower cart, but does agree to upgrade it like she wants. He tells her to write down all of her tiny wishes after teasing her about it. Aerith teases Zack back too. Aerith tries to tease Cloud and doesn’t really get a great response... because he probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing. He’s dense. Like really dense. He does it with Tifa because he’s initiating it. With Aerith he’s just dense. Teasing generally is seen as flirting, especially the type that goes on between Zack and Aerith.
Zack didn’t need to be cool, but he does ask Aerith if he’s cool for killing some monsters. I think he’s trying to flirt with her more there.... Zack was Zack. He wore his heart on his sleeve and didn’t see selling flowers as uncool. This also shows just a basic maturity difference between Cloud and Zack, but that’s not really Cloud’s fault. Personality wise, though, I think Cloud would sell flowers if a girl he liked asked him to as his real persona... He pretty much does whatever Tifa asks him to in Chapter 3 without really complaining.
I think in Remake, too, they made it clear that the Turks were aware of her relationship with Zack. Rude says to Aerith when he sees Cloud with her “This your new boy toy.” She seems a bit offended by this and tells Rude it’s her bodyguard. 
It was pretty clear that Zack was more interested in getting to know Aerith right off the bat. He bought her a cute pink ribbon for her hair, which of course is always a source of argument on whether or not Remake “retconned” the ribbon, since she has the ribbon as a child too, but I don’t think they took that away. 
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Then we’ve got the park. Zack is excited... Cloud needs a nap. I really don’t think Aerith was romantically interested in Cloud in Remake. I think in OG at the park part it was more that Aerith was interested in Cloud, but also interested to see if he knew anybody from SOLDIER. It’s much more apparent in Remake that she’s more interested in who he knows from SOLDIER. She takes him to the same place that she took Zack. 
Cloud is mostly cold towards Aerith until after she tells him about Zack. He seems to soften up a bit after that. I’m not sure if he’s more comfortable or if he gets a zap during his episode to tell him to stop being a dick to her. 
Overall, though, Zack and Aerith have a ton of cute moments in Crisis Core. She cared about the guy a lot. She’s not over him in Remake, she’s trying to convince herself that she is... but she’s not. There’s no closure for her, for one. She kept writing for four years... if she really didn’t care, didn’t want to wait, why write to him for so long and so frequently? 
With Cloud, this was a potential new prospect, but also a way to try to get closure on what happened. If you notice, they don’t have Aerith say he probably ran off with some other girl, like she does in OG. I think with the Crisis Core story showing a much better picture of how those two were, it wouldn’t have fit.
Aerith and Zack have one of the more outwardly romantic stories in FFVII’s Compilation. By. Far. Tifa and Cloud’s is a deeper one that isn’t shown through words and flirting. Most of what Tifa and Cloud do isn’t shown to the player outwardly. A lot of it is through physical contact, like in Part 1. Tifa tells Cloud under the Highwind that words aren’t the only way, so they’re really playing that up. 
Anybody who denies that Zack and Aerith had a pretty solid, heavily implied, romantic relationship either didn’t play Crisis Core or refuses to acknowledge it. It’s slammed in your face in Crisis Core. I honestly forgot how cute the two were until I was watching clips of them and was pretty surprised at how blatant they were with these two. It’s more blatant than most FF couples that early on, honestly. 
They do have a tragic romance - we know his fate in the normal timeline and we know her fate, but it’s definitely super cute and I would say she absolutely loved him. I think it turned from puppy love to true love the longer she waited for him. Zack brought out a lot of Aerith’s charm that we see in OG and Remake that people always say is what brings Cloud out of his shell. The guy who helped Cloud be more confident and come out a bit, helped the girl who further helps Cloud come out a bit. Cloud and Aerith never did have anything close to what Zack and Aerith did, whether or not they would have is up for interpretation. My guess is no.. Cloud’s true self was and is in love with Tifa. It wouldn’t be fair to Aerith, honestly. I think Aerith was interested in meeting real Cloud. I don’t think she only liked his SOLDIER persona, but it was all she knew about him. 
Discounting her relationship with Zack is shitting on her character. By comparison, Cloud is not exactly nice to Aerith at first. Yes, he does become nicer to her. In OG, player choice dictates this more, so you can be nice or you can be mean to her. In Remake, you don’t get a choice. He’s cold at first towards her and slowly warms up to her, just like he did with Avalanche and crew. The only one he doesn’t need encouragement to be nice to is Tifa, but we know why.
Thanks for the ask!
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