#like excuse me while my mind is in the gutter

[therealdisneyfan2319]

Me thinking about the filthiest smut I’m gonna write when I get home from work

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: perv!wonwoo (not super pervy but i tried my best 🫡), smut, f reader, penetrative sex, established relationship (situatuonship is mentioned but idk lets assume they're exclusive just bc i can), he's kinda a dick, etc.

wc: 905

masterlist

streamer!wonwoo perv!wonwoo whose audience believes him to be a golden boy. simply a polite yet charming guy whos into video games, who just so happens to be insanely handsome. his thick rimmed glasses and wavy hair almost covering his eyes, accompanied by those wide shoulders, was able to catch the attention of all of those looking for a pretty face to look at while consuming content from their favorite video games (although many keep their eyes glued to the tiny view of wonwoo on the corner of the screen rather than the game itself).

the people watching him through the screen dont even see the half of it, though, not knowing how much of a perv he is when in real life. not so much a respectful and charming guy, but a degenerate who keeps up the act for appearances. after all, that is how he first got to you a few years back, when you, one of the few who had been a loyal viewer since before his channel blew up, decided that you just HAD to have the pretty nerd rambling about league of legends on stream.

after a few (okay, maybe more than a few) attempts at catching his attention through leaving various suggestive comments, wonwoo finally decided to take a look at your account, noting an instagram linked on your bio. after seeing that the desperate commentator he had taken a liking to seeing always punctual in his streams was a pretty girl in his area, his mind went straight to the gutter, finding his hands moving on their own to send you a message detailing his interest.

a few months later and you found yourself in a months-long situationship with the streamer, having him hit you up almost every other day when he needed 'something warm warm to stick his dick in', as he so nicely put it as he had you sitting on top of him, cockwarming him while he gamed (off-stream, of course).

having a such a well paying stay at home job had many perks, including the ability to take any day off he wanted to fuck you into his bed, somehow managing to never scare you away with his very obvious obsession with your body, drawing orgasm after orgasm out of you with little to no regard for the exhaustion you'd feel after a few hours with him. somehow the roles had reversed, with him now being the one to continuously pursue you under the vice of getting under your pants every second he could.

"n-nonu fuck. slow down, i-" you whined as he senselessly bounced you up and down on his dick, rhythm completely lost a few rounds ago.

he practically growled at your complaint, "you asked for this when you showed up wearing that tiny excuse for a skirt while i was on stream."

"you asked me over-"

"for moral support, baby. not for you to parade yourself around me knowing i wouldnt be able to hold back from taking this pussy," he breathed out, angling you slightly differently, now causing you to whine even louder at your clit being stimulated by the friction.

"does your audience know how m- agh fuck. how much of a perv you are? leaving mid stream to get your dick wet?"

your brattiness causes him to disconnect your bodies, flipping yours over to put you on your hands and elbows and ramming himself into you with no warning.

"be thankful i'm fucking you of all people baby. be thankful this pussy has such a grip on me to get you on my bed every night," he sped up as he spoke filth into your ears.

wonwoo had a special way of making you feel like an object, something which you only enjoyed when it came to him. despite being such a fucking perv, you enjoyed the dynamic you had built, allowing him to play with your body however he saw fit as long as he made you cum. and jesus christ, did he.

"fuck," you felt the end coming near and began to push yourself back against him, grinding into him as much as you could despite his clammy hands having such a tight hold on your hips.

"im gonna make you cream all around me and then im gonna fill you up. okay, baby? then im gonna go back on stream while you keep my bed w- ah fuck. warm for me. if you're a good girl for me, i'll fuck you to sleep afterwards," he rasped out, losing his rhythm even further as he neared his own high.

a few more harsh thrusts later and you were creaming around him, tightening up so much that he, too, reached his peak, filling you up and letting go of your hips, causing you to fall flat against the mattress.

"fuck. baby, never show up like that here again. i almost died," he breathed out as he tried to do a decent job at cleaning you up a bit and tucking you under the covers.

despite his perverted treatment of your body, wonwoo was always sweet to you when his mind wasnt filled with sex (which admittedly wasnt often).

"you act as if i forced you to fuck me," you retaliate despite knowing you did wear that skirt with a specific purpose in mind.

"just shut up and go to sleep, baby. you'll need your energy back soon."

n/a: this is ass im rlly bad at writing men who r not obsessed with their s/o im sorry </33

[singularattitudeofasafetypin]

Safe With Me

Masterlist

Summary: Reader gets anxious when Eddie drives fast but is afraid to tell him in case he thinks she's boring.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: insecurity, descriptions of anxiety, reference to a parent driving dangerously when mad

Please don't steal my work

Eddie always drives like a maniac.

His rickety old van was infamous around town, careening down quiet roads and scaring the life out of their residents. Hopper had issued more tickets than he could count but nothing seemed to deter him. Maybe it was the rush it gave him? The thrill of breaking the rules or maybe he was just reckless?

Whatever it was, it just wasn’t the same for you.

Driving always made you anxious. You could count on one hand the number of times you’d driven since getting your licence. Every time you tried your mind was flooded with all the things that could go horribly wrong. Panic set in your chest. Thoughts rushing so loud you couldn’t focus on the road in front of you. You didn’t even own your own car.

But it ran deeper than that.

When you were younger, you could always tell if your dad was mad by the way he drove. Always pushing the speed limit after an argument, getting just a little too close to the car in front and yelling out the window when someone got in his way. Your heart would race, breath hitch when he broke sharply, and your foot tap on an imaginary break when he didn’t slow ‘til the last minute. Thankfully, nothing bad had ever happened to you, but it frightened you all the same.

When you and Eddie got together a few months back, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d had a crush on him forever! All it took was a push from Nancy and a shove from Dustin to find out he felt the same way.

Eddie was wonderful! The perfect boyfriend really. You couldn’t be happier.

But then he’d offered to drive you home.

You’d happily climbed into the passenger seat, smiling as he shut the door behind you. He kissed your cheek, flicked on the radio, and turned the key in the ignition.

It was all you could do not to gasp when he pulled out of the parking lot.

From the first lurch, your heart began fluttering like a bird straining against your ribs, desperate to be free of its cage. Eddie kept talking like nothing was wrong. You could barely make out his words over the noise of the radio and the rushing panic in your ears. You tried to smile and nod at what you hoped were appropriate times but adrenaline was coursing through your body, breath coming in sharp, shallow gulps.

He skidded to a halt outside your house and immediately hopped out to get the door for you.

‘Your palace, my lady!’ he grinned, helping you down by the hand with his usual theatrical flair. You smiled weakly.

‘Thanks Eddie.’

He kissed you goodbye and you did your best to smile and wave as he went tearing down the street and around the corner before letting a shaky breath out. Residual nausea beginning to dissipate as you stepped inside.

In hindsight, maybe you should have just talked to him. Told him how you felt, been honest. You know, the sort of thing you’re supposed to do in relationships but it was all still so new! You rehearsed the conversation in your mind a thousand times but it just sounded pathetic. Like you were making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe you were? ‘Just leave it!’ you thought, ‘He’ll think you’re so boring!’

So instead, you made excuses.

‘Sorry Eds, I can’t. My mum’s picking me up today!’

‘I want to bike home today. It’s so sunny!’

‘I’m going to Nancy’s, she said she’d take me.’

It was all going so well until the universe turned against you. Or rather, the weather did.

You stood under the bike shelter, staring up at the charcoal sky as fat raindrops fell hard against the roof. They spattered over the school parking lot, sloshing in puddles and trickling along the gutters while a bitter wind waxed and waned. Icy drips hit your knuckles, white as they gripped your bike’s handlebars. You sighed. Ten minutes since school ended and the sky had only gotten darker. The rain wasn’t stopping any time soon.

Tugging the yellow hood of your raincoat over your head, you ventured out into the deluge. You were busy dreading every second of the freezing ride home when your attention was caught by a familiar voice hollering your name. You couldn’t help but smile when you turned. Eddie was sprinting toward you, his own dark raincoat held over his head rather than around his shoulders while his scuffed-up trainers splashed along the ground.

‘No way am I letting you bike home in this!’ he scolded good-naturedly when he reached you, ‘Let me give you a ride home!’

Your smile faltered.

‘It’s okay Eddie…’ you searched frantically for a reason to refuse him, ‘I was just gonna call my mum!’

Sure, you were! Halfway across the parking lot, clearly heading away from school. The lie was so obvious, Eddie nearly laughed. ‘Don’t you remember? You said she was at work today!’

‘Oh yeah,’ Idiot! You cursed yourself, ‘Nancy then! We’ve actually been meaning to meet up and study.’

Eddie frowned a little, ‘She’s got that thing after school, doesn’t she? I saw her unlocking the darkroom on the way out.’

Strike two!

‘Yeah, I uh…’ your confidence crumbled, ‘I can just wait for her or something…’ The ruse was becoming thinner by the second. Eddie folded his arms.

‘What’s this actually about?’ he asked, ‘Why won’t you just let me take you home?’ His words weren’t angry or accusing, just confused, but a flicker of panic began to rise in your chest. ‘You haven’t let me drive you anywhere for weeks,’ he went on, ‘Have I done something to upset you?’

‘No!’

‘Then what is it?’ his dark brown eyes filled with worry as thunder rolled in the distance. Eddie’s arms ached from holding his coat, his fingers bitterly cold. The rain had seeped into his shoes and through his socks but he didn’t care. All that mattered was figuring out what he’d done wrong!

It didn’t make sense. He couldn’t remember anything he’d said or done that could make you pull away. You were just as content and affectionate most of the time but at the end of the school day, you couldn’t seem to lose him fast enough.

You wouldn’t look him in the eye now, your hands gripping your bike so tight he was afraid you might hurt yourself. How had he managed to screw up the best thing that had happened to him so soon?

‘Please?’ he was begging, the slight tremor in his voice betraying his fear as you bit your lip nervously, ‘Just tell me!’

‘I don’t like it when you drive fast!’

You just sort of blurted it out. No ceremony, no elegance. The words fell clumsily from your mouth, tugged almost involuntarily. Eddie didn’t say anything.

Now the words wouldn’t stop, tumbling out too fast, trying to justify. ‘I know, it’s stupid! Childish, I know!’ Despite the cold, you felt your cheeks turn warm. ‘But it just makes me really anxious and I-!’

‘Is that all?’

You stopped abruptly, looking up as an elated smile began to pull at the corner of his mouth. This wasn’t what you’d expected. His eyes held a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and hope.

‘Yeah?’ your voice came out uncertain but the smile only spread wider.

It was as though a weight had been lifted. Of course, Eddie felt awful that he’d scared you, even more so that he hadn’t even noticed. But this, this was something he could fix! He laughed a little, almost giddy with relief. ‘So then, I just won’t drive fast baby!’

You blinked in surprise, rendered speechless. Eddie shrugged his coat on at lightning speed, his hair already sodden by the time he was easing your bike from your grip. ‘Really?’ You hadn’t expected it to be that simple. He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head as though it was obvious.

‘Really! Now come on, you’re getting soaked!’ and without waiting for an answer, he turned and started wheeling your bike across the parking lot. You hurried after him, puddles splashing under your feet and wetting your socks.

‘You mean it?’ you asked when you reached the van. Eddie was pulling open the doors and stowing your bike safely in the back. He just nodded, opening the passenger side door next and helping you in.

He climbed in the other side, wriggling his coat off and tossing it behind him before turning the key in the ignition. You fiddled anxiously with your fingers. ‘You don’t think I’m being annoying?’ insecurity gnawed away at your stomach, ‘Or boring? Or silly? Or-? ‘

‘Sweetheart,’ Eddie interrupted, taking your hand and pressing a reassuring kiss to your fingertips. He looked up at you with those kind, warm eyes and melted your concern with his soft, tender voice, ‘I want you to feel safe with me.’

You sighed out. There was no deception, no hidden irritation or passive aggression. Eddie really meant it. He wanted you to be happy. Your peace was his priority.

‘Okay?’ he asked, still watching your face for confirmation.

You smiled shyly and nodded, ‘Okay.’

Eddie grinned back, pressing another kiss to your hand before dropping it and returning his own to the steering wheel.

True to his word, the ride home was as gentle as you could have wished for. You doubted Eddie had even driven this responsibly on his test… if he’d ever taken one. After five or ten minutes, you found the usual anxious knot that twisted in your chest had unwound. The tension in your muscles evaporated and soon you were laughing and joking with Eddie and singing along to the radio.

Before you knew it, he was pulling up outside your house. Funny, you thought, he’d been so cautious and yet the journey seemed to take half the time. You kissed his cheek and hopped down from the van.

The rain had stopped. Tarmac still dark and damp and small puddles were left here and there but blue sky and sunshine were breaking through the clouds, warming the sidewalk and glittering gold in the dew drops.

‘Can I pick you up tomorrow?’ Eddie asked, opening up the back to lift your bike out. He was tentative, worried he was pushing too far but you smiled and nodded.

‘Yes, thanks Eddie!’

You took the bike from him and turned to wheel it toward the porch when an indignant ‘Hey!’ sounded behind you. Eddie clutched at his heart, collapsing onto the side of the van gasping dramatically, ‘No goodbye kiss? Oh, cruel temptress! Is there no compassion? No mercy?’

With peals of laughter, you ran back to oblige him. He squeezed his arms around you, smiling so hard it was hardly a real kiss. This time, there was no barrier between you. No shadow, no secrets. Only the sweetness that honesty in love brings.

You walked your bike back down the garden path, waving to Eddie as the van pulled away. You watched him draw further and further down the street until he disappeared around the corner.

You smiled and rummaged for your keys. The weight on your shoulders had dissolved to nothing and somehow, you were even lighter than before.

Eddie Munson always drove like a maniac.

Until he didn’t.

Until you.

***

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed writing this. If you liked it, please reblog and comment! I love hearing what people thought of my writing! Check out my masterlist for more!

Taglist: @sadbitchfangirl, @neewtmas, @ladymunson

[kissoulie]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒

𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧

— NSFW, MDNI. bowling with p1harmony!

a/n: some of u may not know but hot & mysterious user kissoulie has a bowling hyperfixation!! 😭 i went bowling last night for 3hrs and i'm prob going to go again tonight 🤭 this reminded me that seob posted a pic of piwon bowling while they were on tour which is why my brain made this! this is def not my best work but i work like all week so i wanted to write a lil smth silly, short, & fun before i post my first series masterlist tmrw 💓

cws: fem bodied reader but generally gender neutral (use of "pretty"), not entirely explicit smut?? it's just not super detailed the bowling is the main focus my bad 😭, 3some (soulseob), skim proofread for readability only pls excuse all spelling/grammar errors i wrote half of this in a movie theater! that's all i believe, lmk if i missed anything ‹3

— keeho.

he definitely has an average over 125 you cannot convince me otherwise. he's a straight bowler, but knows how to hook a ball. i also think he has his own bowling ball because he's extra like that. best bowler in piwon!!! i think he kinda bowls like an old man, and still gets extremely hyped for every strike. he will def blow your back out after a bowling date though ❤️ his baby did so well!!! you even almost beat him, so he thinks you deserve a reward, and he knows for you there's no better reward than his fingers inside you while he fucks your pretty head empty.

— taeyang.

he's the average bowler for sure. i'm not entirely convinced he gets super competitive over it, i think he's just there to have fun!! definitely uses an 8, has no particular technique he just walks forward and sends it lol. assuming you're bowling at a place with couches, he for sure has you in his lap while his members go. he orders you both french fries but soul eats them all while you're distracted eye fucking each other 😭😭 he'll start feeling you up, one hand inching higher and higher up your thigh while the other presses against your middle to hold you in place. may or may not invite you to a 'bathroom' break by tapping your thigh and announcing, "i'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick" with some searing eye contact while he walks away, which will leave your stomach in knots thinking about how he's going to rearrange your insides ‹3

— jiung.

i think he's super competitive about this actually 😭 he probably practices bowling at least once a week if they go often, it's something he has a lot of fun getting better at! he hooks as many of his shots as he can, definitely a spare sniper who leaves only a few frames open per game. maybe i'm just a jiung professional bowler truther. he uses his newfound finger dexterity on you though, curling his fingers inside you perfectly while thumbing at your clit. he'll have you seeing stars in no time.

— intak.

straight bowler, averages 100, bowls with a 9. he's pretty straightforward when bowling, he's there to have a good time & look good doing it. i am also of a mind that he plays pool, specifically with you. loser gets the best head of their life (his idea). naturally, he's the one who wins and gets to have you choking around his cock in the back seat while the rest of his members wonder where you both have gone.

— soulseob.

The competitive ever. please they both want to impress you!!! seob is bowling for his life!!!! soul is just having fun!!!! (he got a gutter ball and screeched like a dinosaur.) your little giggles spur them on, "winner gets a kiss" 😭 their sibling rivalry has been unlocked, but their rivalry in bed is worse!! seob did throw 119 in the end, beating soul by 3 pins, and he wastes no time in taking you back to the dorms to get his prize. he shoves you down onto his bed while soul trails behind, "watch us, sho." jongseob holds your hands to pin them to the bed, slipping into you with a wet squelch. his body grinds into yours with desperation you didn't know he had. he fucks you nice and rough. "think he deserves a consolation prize, baby?" you nod dumbly, your eyes droopy and dilated. "poor princess." he muses, beckoning soul closer, letting him stretch you out impossibly wider, your mouth dropping open in a broken moan. ‹3

taglist: @tkooooop ♡

[mousy-nona]

I didn't send the initial prompt so I hope this is allowed, but could I request a followup to the story where Lucifer gets addicted to Alastor's blood? One where he finally gets that taste he's been so desperately craving, whether through charm or persistence or a trade of some sort?

Part 1 here.

Lucifer tried everything. He tried meditation. He tried stuffing his face with so much cake his waistband grew three sizes (he later transfigured it away, so no one would ask him Concerned Questions). He even went on vacation to the Lust Ring for a while, but there were only so many sex jokes a person could take before they started seeing penises and boobs everywhere.

The whole time he was there, he kept thinking about the forbidden fruit coursing through Alastor’s veins. And when he was done lusting after Alastor’s blood, he would think about Alastor in general. Alastor would hate this, he thought, bored out of his mind while a cow devil was milked dry in front of him. Alastor would hate that, he thought, as Ozzie and his partner treated him to a very graphic display of affection that left his face redder than a tomato. When Ozzie started rolling out the really premium shows, Lucifer decided it was high time for him to go.

By that time, the obsession had grown to the point where he was nearly deafened by it, the constant refrain of AlastorthisAlastorthatAlastorAlastorAlastor –

Then he stepped out of his golden portal, and a tall figure sitting in an armchair by the fire turned around and the voice went silent.

Alastor barely looked up, too busy petting KeeKee and looking like the world’s best Bond villain to give him the time of day. 

“Ah, you’re back.”

When had that radio static started sounding like home? “Did y’all miss me?” He glanced around, deflating a little at the empty sitting room. “Where is everyone?”

“Busy with any number of far more important matters, I’m sure,” Alastor drawled. 

“It’s good to see you too, asshole,” Lucifer grumbled. The brief moment of homecoming faded, replaced by that permanent feeling of annoyance that he always felt around Alastor. He had started stomping upstairs when the shadows by the top of the stairs shifted, crinkled. Then Alastor was there, blocking his way. 

“I see your Majesty has his tiny knickers in a twist,” he commented, as if that wasn’t a totally inappropriate to say to the biblical source of all evil. 

Lucifer’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. “Excuse me?” 

“I wouldn’t bother trying to deny it if I were you,” Alastor mentioned. “That would be quite an insult to my intelligence. You’ve been in a foul mood for weeks. The whole hotel has noticed it. You’ve been dragging that silly cane all over the place, something you only do when you're upset.” A flash of green lit up Alastor’s wide smile. He looked positively ghoulish, but Lucifer was still stuck on his comment about his cane. I drag it when I’m sad? Since when? And why did he notice? “If it’s bothering you so much, why not share the load?”

“You want me to…tell you my problems? What is this, storytime?” Lucifer scoffed. 

“Perhaps I could lend you my assistance,” he purred. “For a price, of course.” 

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Now you’re insulting my intelligence.” With a flick of his hand, another portal appeared on the stairs, blocking Alastor from view. The demon was oddly perceptive. He didn’t want him to see just how close he was to falling to his knees and blubbering yes please just a sip, just one more taste. 

(Lillith had always called him a drama queen. Maybe she’d had a point.)

The portal didn’t block the sound of Alastor’s voice, more’s the pity. “Is this about the little scratch you gave me a few weeks ago?” 

Lucifer stilled. The portal wavered, guttered, and went out, leaving the two of them staring at each other.

“How–?” He stammered. 

Alastor’s grin was triumphant. “How many times must I say it? Never underestimate my intelligence. So am I correct?”

Lucifer didn’t respond, which was answer enough. Alastor sniffed. 

“In that case, I believe I have an answer to your problems.” 

What? Was he offering what Lucifer thought he was offering? “And what could that possibly be?”

“Quid pro quo, my dear. You get some of my blood, and I get some of yours.” 

“Fine,” Lucifer gestured him over impatiently. “Come here and bite me –” 

“Not like that.” 

Alastor raised a small glass vial. His smile would have made a crocodile jealous. “I told you, just a little bit of blood. I never said to drink.” 

Alastor eyes flashed into dials and the darkness was split by a lazer of green, then red – a literal red flag. The biggest STOP HERE, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200 Lucifer had ever seen. 

But his mouth was so dry. He could barely think past how large his tongue had grown. Besides, he was the king of hell. The original sin. What harm could it do to let Alastor have a little bit of his blood? 

A lot, the rational part of his brain whispered. This is Alastor we’re talking about. But the rational part of his brain had grown rather quiet around the Crusades, and he’d lost a good chunk of it by World War II. 

Charlie said he was reckless. She didn’t know the half of it. 

“Fine,” Lucifer said. “But you only get to take my blood once. And I can drink from you when I want.”

Alastor thought for a moment, then his lips moved. 

Deal.

The word disappeared in the cra-a-ack of green lightning that struck around them like fireworks. He started to roll up his sleeves, but Lucifer was too quick for him. He flew up the steps and smashed into Alastor with such force he sent them spiraling into the wall. Alastor gasped, but before he could protest, Lucifer had torn the fabric of his shirt and slashed a deep groove into the cool skin of his neck. 

Finally, that sweet blood flowed onto his tongue. He moaned, his lids fluttering as he drank greedily. Big mouthfuls at a time. 

Sin. Death. Apples. Smoke and sugar. The taste was indescribable, and in that moment, Lucifer thought he could have promised Alastor his whole kingdom, and it would have been a fair trade. 

Alastor, for his part, stayed dutifully still, even when Lucifer licked off the blood that had splattered onto Alastor’s collarbone and the tip of his chin, unwilling to let even a drop of it go to waste.

It took a while, but Lucifer finally leaned back with a groan, his lips smeared with blood like it was cherry chapstick. 

“Satisfied?” Alastor muttered. Lucifer made an incoherent sound of joy. 

“Good. I am as well.” Alastor raised a completely full vial of golden blood. When had he taken it? “I believe it was a satisfactory deal for both parties.”

Then he smiled in a way that made Lucifer's skin prickle. 

Heavenly Father, what have I done? 

[trans-androgyne]

hey, thank you for having and running this blog. you're doing the equivalent of gods work.

first, i'm sorry for the amounts of jerk anons you have to deal with. you literally articulate yourself very well and clearly, and still, people will find a way to twist it or not take it seriously. it reminds me of me "arguing" with terfs back in 2022 on twitter. (shudders.)

and second, how do you deal with the constant negativity? i have found myself doomscrolling the transandrophobia tag, and, well, to no ones surprise, my mental health is down the gutter. do you have any tips to deal with it? mainly with the transandrophobia in general? it is more than exhausting existing as a (gnc & enby) trans guy atm, and it's really getting to me. the thing is, I wouldn't mind it if it were non-queer bigots, but the fact it's coming from inside the community is devastating. i am more than hurt. this intense hatred for men and masculinity, queer, trans, or not, is incomprehensible to me. it never does anything good. anyone who says "i hate all men and anything masculine" is definitely going in the "yep that's either a radfem or a radfem hatchling" box. i partially understand as to why- i had a fear of men myself when i still identified as a girl, and slipped into the "all men bad. kill" side of the internet for a short while but ONLY because of this rhetoric ("you need to be afraid because there are men outside." , "men and masculinity are inherently predatory or dangerous")- but i got out of it because i saw how fucked it was eventually (thank goodness)- but nothing should ever be an excuse to excessively hate a gender or masculinity this badly. and its mostly gender essentialist bs anyways imo, so i do not understand it at all...it reminds me of people saying men/mascs cant be asexual because it's "in their nature to be sexual"- because testosterone. its hard. i just wish we all could respect each other. you're either "one of the bad bad evil men" or "noooooo not YOU. you're AFAB!! never!! youre a girl/woman in spirit!!" from my personal experience with terfs/radfems/idiots.

anyways, sorry for invading your anon space with this long rant, but i just wanted to leave this and the question. i hope you have a nice day/night, and thank you for reporting on transandrophobia as much as you do. it's sadly very much needed right now.

Thank you so much, this is such a kind ask to receive. To be honest with you: I don’t handle my mental health very well around it </3 It’s weighed on me pretty heavily these last few months especially. The things keeping me running this blog anyway are my passion for the transmasc community and lovely anons like yourself cheering me up. When it comes to trying to manage it, the most important thing for me has been finding people I can vent to about it who will understand. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful discord server full of awesome trans people who will talk it through with me, and that’s been a life-saver. Staying offline for a bit and trying to engage in person with people who are unlikely to be transandrophobic towards you can be a nice relief. I catch myself doomscrolling constantly too, and it doesn’t feel great. If you need to set some sort of time limit on your phone even just to remind yourself not to do it, that’s helped me before and might help you too.

Having this much hatred levied at me for my identity from my own community lately has been devastating. I completely understand you. I’ve always been vocal about supporting transfems in particular, so it really hurts to see so many turn against me for speaking up. I understand how the queer community got this way, though. Antimasculinism has been an issue in queer and feminist spaces for ages. I think people are starting to notice it more and understand why it sucks and how much it negatively affects trans men and mascs. It feels like a losing battle sometimes with how much cultural feminism — the Men Bad Women Good flavor of pop feminism — has pervaded our communities and often led to very overt radical feminism that people still can’t always recognize because they don’t know anything about TERFs outside of them hating trans women. I believe the culture will start to shift soon such that people are able to recognize sexism and gender essentialism that harms all genders, and I will be doing my part to help that happen.

[milkywaydrabbles]

kinktober 39 and alucard bcs he defo would

A/N: omg he absolutely would body worship his beloved are you kidding me. Thank you for the req and I hope you like it mwuah

CW: smut, oral (f! recieving), pet names (sweetheart, darling, love, etc)

Alucard x body worship!

“Absolutely stunning...” He whispers, trailing kisses down your body. “You’re radiant, my love..you’re the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen.” You’d been feeling quite self-conscious about your body recently, hiding behind larger pieces of clothing than normal so that you didn’t have a shape. You would inch away from Adrian, always making excuses as to why you didn’t want to be intimate with him. When he found out why you’d been feeling more distant from him, he wouldn’t have any of it.

He gave extra attention to your hips, your stomach, your thighs, anything that you’d been trying to hide from him. “Look how gorgeous you are” he cooed, grazing his teeth on your thighs. He bit and suckled hickies across your thighs, kissing each small bruise he left behind as an apology, (he wasn’t sorry). Slowly, Alucard parted your thighs while looking deep into your eyes. “Don’t hide from me, darling, please....you’re so perfect.” He begged, dipping lower and licking a stripe across your slit. Your breath hitched, hands clawing at the bedding underneath you. “Alucard..” You whined, attempting to close your legs but he pried them open and kept them there. “Sweetheart, no no no keep those beautiful legs open for me.” 

Alucard took a deep breath in, breathing in your scent with a gutteral moan. He could get pussy drunk off your scent alone. “You smell fucking divine.” He groaned, before dipping his tongue deep inside your weeping cunt. You cried out a gasp, arching your hips towards him. Alucard pressed kisses on your pussy, licking and slurping your wetness. He was messy, practically making out with your cunt as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. “I could be in between your legs for hours.” He mumbled against you, nearly clawed hands gripping at your thighs that kept trying to crush his head between them (he really wouldn’t have minded that anyways). “Alucard, p-please..I’m so close..!” You whined, humping his face as he continued to suckle your clit. He pulled away for a minute, continuing to stimulate you with a thumb pressed against your clit. “Tell me what I want to hear, sweetheart.” He whispered, kissing your thighs as he waited. 

You were embarrassed to say the least, covering your face with your arm while you continued to lift your hips in hopes for more. “Alucard, please.” You whimpered. Alucard stilled while he waited. “Look at me, tell me what I want to hear baby.” 

You glanced at him, “I’m..I’m beautiful. I deserve love.” You teared up speaking, and whimpered when Alucard sped up on rubbing your clit. “Exactly darling, you’re beautiful, you’re gorgeous, “ He slipped two fingers into your weeping cunt curling upwards and hitting you just right. “You’re so perfect, I can’t get enough of you.” You tried to hold back a cry, tears slipping down your face. “Go ahead, love, cum for me, show me how beautiful you are when you cum on my fingers.” He latched his mouth on you one last time and it sent you tumbling over the edge in ecstasy. 

Alucard worked you through your orgasm until you pushed him away with overstimulation. Slowly, he crawled up your body with more kisses before he planted a loving and passionate kiss on your lips. 

“If you ever forget how beautiful you are, I’ll always be there to remind you.”

[eggyboyoart]

NU: carnival harem and if they would/would not fuck their clone

[RATED +18]

EIDEN;

yes. he is unbelievably pro clone-fucking. he canonically fucks his clone (SSR Salacious King). While I haven't got Salacious King and idk what the intimacy rooms are; I know for a fact that Eiden (both of them) are having the time of their kinky little lives.

I imagine that they’re both teasing and confident, manoeuvring around each other with expert ease. Since eiden himself is incredibly versatile already, its not hard for them to fall into a sexy rhythm...

Eiden is also pro clansmembers-fucking-his-own-clone-in-front-of-him and pro clones-fucking-the-clansmembers (my boy is versatile).

ASTER;

Aster is pro clone-fucking in the way that both him and his clone are ganging up on Eiden or Morvay. Imagine with me; one Aster behind Eiden, nibbling on his neck and the other in the front - torturing him with some toys. Thats Aster, baby.

They end up with their focus split, torn between watching their partner fall apart beneath them and sneaking glances toward his clone while hes not looking – secretly checking himself out.

Eiden ends up covered in bites and passed out from exhaustion at the end :))

MORVAY;

YES YES YES YES YES YES

THEY GET SO FREAKY. mmm incubus x incubus.. it starts off a little hesitant, with both of them wondering if they could feed off each other’s ‘essence’ and soon after - like Aster, they both ALSO end up ganging up on Eiden – damn near fist-fighting each other to get to Eiden’s ‘prize jewels’.

Eiden ends up ABSOLUTELY exhausted at the end. Its like that meme with the shriveled up man next to other person sleeping.

this isn't the exact meme, but its the same vibe.

YAKUMO;

ohh.. sweet baby yakumo..

hes so hesitant, he most likely got the idea from Eiden asking both Yakumos to double-team him. Yakumo usually struggles with 'possessive' snake instincts and weirdly enough, its the same with his own clone (despite the fact they're the same person lol).

however.. a little after Yakumo x Eiden x Yakumo's Clone.. both yakumos sneak off into the night for some 'private exploration'.. neither of them speak of it out of pure embarrassment, but the suspiciously snake-shaped bite marks on each other’s neck do not go unnoticed..

EDMOND;

hes offended that you would even suggest such a thing. he is a righteous man of noble intentions, he would never even think of such perverted acts- get your mind out of the gutter, you scoundrel-!

while edmond doesn't necessarily feel attracted to himself sexually, neither of the vice-captains can resist sneaking a little peak around the back.. but overall, nothing beyond some subtle glances.

eiden tries to convince them both for some 'regulation' but he doesn't get very far when two blushing swordsmen put their blades up to his throat.. (better luck next time, big man)

OLIVINE;

... :3

this busty priest has probably never really thought about his own attractiveness too much but... is his chest really that voluptuous?

honestly? olivine is probably the one to bring this up to eiden. both priests approach the grand sorcerer quietly in the evening, mumbling about 'essence regulation'.. thats really just an excuse though. hes both insanely embarrassed and intensely aroused at his own sounds and squirming body ('does he really sound like that?').

eiden also has a good time when he gets to see two busty priests pressed up against each other and making out (LUCKY BITCH)

QUINCY;

ahh yes, our resident bear..

i don't believe he would be particularly interested in fucking his own clone, unfortunately. I just don’t think that he is his own type.. but, with a low mumble of 'troublesome..', he could be convinced/teased into tag-teaming eiden or a certain cheeky fox..

in this situation, i imagine one quincy leant back against the headboard, eiden/kuya on top of him and the other quincy behind eiden/kuya with double penetration orr.. both quincys spitroasting eiden/kuya :))

either way, the clones are less focused on each other and more focused on their partner.

KUYA;

soo, the myth, the man, the legend - our local mischievous fox yokai..

i believe this would start off relatively simply, with both kuyas ganging up/sexually torturing eiden in possessive competition. similarly to yakumo, his jealous instincts are not curbed when faced with his own clone and they both spend the whole time exchanging quips and witty remarks while just plowing eiden.

but after.. i believe both kuyas sneak off to 'hate-fuck' essentially. its bitter, aggressive and honestly violent with how rough they get with each other and in the end.. i don't think there is a winner here.

GARU;

okay.. desperate bottom x desperate bottom AHH-

its wild how they go at each other.. honestly, eiden probably walks in on them frotting – the room thick with the scent of sweat and slick and a sight so erotic that eiden is mystically compelled to join (honestly bro? me too).

honestly, if i can get a little 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂.. its wet. they're both drooling, from their mouth and.. down there.. and honestly, eiden is too. and if both wolf yokai desperately cling to their master, whining so sweetly.. who is he to deny them?

KARU;

honestly? I do believe that within karu is a man capable of being on top. It takes a lot, some self-given pep-talk and enough teasing – I do genuinely believe karu would be able to successfully dominate someone, though in more of a ‘whimpery top’ kind of style..

that’s sort of what happens when eiden tries to get under both karu’s skin, sliding up to them with his usual audacity. Eventually, both karus come to a mutual agreement that there is strength in numbers and agree to take the grand sorcerer down.

It ends in a similar position as quincy’s – spitroasting eiden though with a lot more whimpering and drooling from all parties involved.

BLADE;

My other, beautiful pookie..

This story starts with some good old fashioned exploration. At first, its purely curiosity – poking and prodding at each other with eager fingers and excitable eyes. But once one of them press on a particularly sensitive spot, its all over for them. Once one of the e-droids gets the idea, the other is all too eager to delve right into the good stuff.

Eiden probably walks in on them right in the middle of the act – the two tangled up and sweaty, and they’re more than happy to extend a hand to their darling~

DANTE;

The identical Sun Lords are appalled at the very idea. They are not interested in each other like that, at all – and truthfully, they end up barely getting along due to both of their stubborn natures.

Though, the one thing they can agree on is that eiden needs to be taken down a peg. This probably ends up as a mixture of Quincy and Kuya’s scenarios – with both Sun Lord’s less focused on each other but more so on tormenting the frustrating ‘grand sorcerer’.

Spitroasting is probably the way to go here, with eiden’s mouth being put to ‘better uses’.. it looks like they’re finally getting along :))

REI;

(I don’t know much about rei so forgive me lol)

Fascinating.. they spend a majority of the time researching each other, jotting down notes and findings as they debate and theorise. Eventually (to no ones surprise), this research ends up becoming ‘research’ – if you know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge..

Interestingly enough, I don’t see eiden being involved at all here, nor do I see either of them topping the other.. I think its mostly ‘experiments’ that rei more-so wanted to perform on himself, that has now been made easier using his body double.

Either way, with both intelligent minds - their time researching has actually proven to be rather productive, which leads rei to seriously consider finding a way to regularly clone himself..

[gary-mu]

Breaking the rules

Pairing: Kishibe x female/afab reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2626

Warnings/Tags: pwp, age difference, dirty talk, teasing, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, outdoor-sex, semi-public sex, Kishibe being a horny bastard.

Summary: After a surprisingly successful mission, you and your teammates decide to grab some drinks. Kishibe, your captain, agrees to come along and have some fun with the team.

Little you knew the night would bring you more than alcohol and laughter. A special reward for your victory was waiting for you in the shape of an old hunter with a liking for booze, killing demons... and you.

A/N: When it comes to this man, I just can't get my mind out of the gutter 🥵🥵🥵

Enjoy my beloved Kishibe simps :)

Cover by: @edpanart

Read it on AO3

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The night is young, alcohol is flowing, and conversations are getting livelier and livelier. The atmosphere is filled with camaraderie and the satisfaction of knowing that the entire team survived the last mission. Today there are enough reasons to celebrate.

Your job as a demon hunter has taught you -the hard way- that you only live once, and you have to live each day as if it were your last. Tonight, it means getting drunk and forgetting about the world for a while.

On the other side of the small wooden table -right in front of you- sits the legendary Captain Kishibe nursing his fifth glass of whiskey. You still find it hard to believe that he has accepted your invitation to come along, but you are glad he has. His presence makes you feel safe. After all, thanks to him, many of those present did not suffer a slow and painful death. But there is something beyond your admiration for him, something less noble and more primitive. 

Your eyes travel from Kishibe's long fingers to his strong biceps -visible under the white fabric of his shirt- then to his mouth. Letting your imagination run wild, you press your thighs together, trying in vain to relieve the tension that continues to increase with each fantasy. Your body temperature rises, and you open a couple of buttons on your shirt to cool down.

Kishibe has drunk a lot, but his perception has not been affected. For several minutes now, the hunter has noticed the weight of your gaze on him. More than being annoying, it arouses his curiosity. Once your attention makes it hard for him to concentrate on the conversation with other teammates, he turns to look at you. His deep grey eyes seem to search your soul until they reveal your darkest secret. Everything is so sudden that you don't have time to hide your longing gaze.

Oh, little bunny. If you come closer, I might eat you alive. Kishibe thinks, emptying his glass while he holds your gaze. He needs nothing more than to look into your eyes to know what you want from him. Hot blood rushes through his veins at the possibility of having found a new toy, and suddenly the night becomes a lot more interesting. Will you let me sink my fangs into your soft flesh?  The question floats in his mind, and he wishes you could read his thoughts and see all he can offer you if you accept his proposal.

If alcohol wasn't starting to cloud your common sense, you'd probably be ashamed of the improper way you look at your superior. But lucky for you, he doesn't seem to mind it at all. You might even say he enjoys it. Kishibe's eyes are glued to you. His fingers stroke the empty glass between them with the sole intention of torturing you. Finally, the tingling sensation between your legs and the effort you're making not to jump on him and rip his clothes off in front of the whole division force you to get up, excuse yourself and go out for some fresh air. Maybe the older hunter will get the hint and decide to follow you, or the breeze will turn off your arousal. Either way, you would be happy.

The chill air blows gently on your face, the sounds of the city surround you in their chaotic melody, and you close your eyes, letting them clear your mind. Five more minutes, and you can go back inside with your teammates without worrying about the effect Kishibe has on you. But when you thought you were back to normal, you perceive the restaurant door open behind you, then the distinctive click of a lighter. Your heart skips a beat, and you open your eyes wide to be met by the imposing presence of your captain.

"I know what you want, Y/N." Kishibe's deep voice prevents any other sound from reaching your ears, claiming your attention.

A few moments before, you would have pulled him to you to catch his lips in a fiery kiss, but the hustle and bustle in the street have mitigated the effect of those glasses of beer you drank as if it were water. Now shame returns to keep you from making a fool of yourself.

"I-I-I don't know..." you try to lie, but his intense gaze frustrates any attempt to pretend you don't know what he means. Instead, you decide to shut up and avoid his eyes, clenching your fists as if it might keep your cheeks from turning crimson.

"It's okay," Kishibe reassures, blowing some smoke as he approaches. "There's no need to deny it. I saw the way you were looking at me back there. I am not blind, you know?" he reveals matter-of-factly without a hint of anger or discomfort.

What now?  You ask yourself, afraid to answer your question. A side of you wants to apologize, blame it on the alcohol, and pray it won't get you in trouble. But the other one -the one who's currently winning- wants to move forward, to take the first step and beg your superior to rail you because your arousal would drive you mad otherwise. Because you need him buried deep inside you since the first time you crossed paths with him and his sinful magnetism.

"Do you want it now?" Kishibe offers, with a voice like dark chocolate, rough and tempting. The cigarette burning in his fingers falls to the floor and dies under the sole of his combat boots.

The hunter's movements are calm, and his face remains serene, but just like you, he can't wait to touch you, to have you wrapped around him and make you moan his name again and again. If it wasn't because you are in the middle of a celebration and his presence is required to boost the team's confidence, he'd take you home and spend the whole night making you come until you beg him to stop. But he knows that would be too much to ask. He'll have to settle for a few minutes, knowing it will be enough to become your new addiction.

"Yes," you reply immediately, forgetting the rules, the chain of command, and the shame you'll feel tomorrow when alcohol is no longer flowing through your veins. The hunter answers your impatience with a satisfied grin and a soft "Come with me."

An eternity passes as you follow your superior into a dark alley behind the bar. The pounding of your heart in your ears prevents you from hearing your footsteps, and your body trembles despite the fire burning inside you. Suddenly, as if you've fast-forwarded the scene with an invisible remote control, you find yourself with your back against the wall and Kishibe's hand pinning your wrists above your head. His scent of sandalwood, fine cigarettes, and whiskey is intoxicating, and you can't help but take a deep breath to let it invade you. The hunter gives you one last predatory glance before catching your mouth in a passionate kiss. The desperate whine coming out of you makes him chuckle. From that moment on and at the same time, everything happens fast and slowly.

With the swiftness that comes with years of physical training, the hunter lifts you effortlessly, placing your legs on either side of his waist. His mouth seeks yours again in a mind-numbing, breathtaking kiss. His tongue finds its way between your soft lips to intoxicate itself with your taste. His already stiff cock presses hard against your clothed core making you whimper and tighten your legs around him.

"Good girl," Kishibe praises, breaking the kiss to look into your eyes, chuckling when they roll back into your head as soon as he begins to move his hips, teasing you. Making you impossibly wet with every inch of his erection rubbing against your slit at a deliciously even pace.

"Kishibe-san~," you mewl with your fingers tangled in his hair and with his mouth leaving wet kisses on your neck. His strong hands squeeze your butt, and your walls throb, desperate to be filled to the brim by his rock-hard cock. Lust has set your body ablaze, and your only goal now is to surrender to Kishibe's desires, to let him use you in every way he wants.

"What is it, sweetheart?" The hunter whispers against your skin, pretending not to notice that you're entirely under his spell. "Do you want me to fuck you hard ?" He husks, pressing the tip of his erection to your nub.

"Yes... please, " you beg, bucking your hips and cursing the few millimeters of cloth that get in the way between your bodies. "I need you."

"Oh, Y/N. It will be a pleasure to ruin you." Kishibe grunts before nibbling on your collarbone, allowing himself to enjoy for a few more seconds those faint desperate noises that tear from you every one of his caresses. "Turn around and undo your pants, doll," he commands after a while, putting you down.

Despite your trembling legs, you do as he says as fast as you can. You unbutton your pants and let them drop to your ankles, shivering as your red-hot skin meets the cold night air. Behind you, the hunter frees his erection, giving it a few pumps as he takes in your figure and your ass raised towards him like an offering.

Kishibe approaches you slowly, his stiff member resting on your buttocks while a callused hand snakes inside your soaked panties, exploring, making you squirm with neediness. You're already a heavy-breathing mess when deft fingers find your nub and begin pressing slow circles over it. With his name on your lips, you throw your head back against his shoulder as you spread your legs to give him more room to play.

Lucky for you, the hunter doesn't need any more clues to know what you want. A single digit caresses your swollen lips before sliding inside your warm walls, and you press your eyes shut, biting back a moan. A second and third finger join not long after, bringing you closer to the stars. The hunter has you writhing desperately against his hand a few moments later.

"Does it feel good?" Kishibe breathes in your ear as if he doesn't know the answer already, as if the way you fuck his fingers isn't enough proof that you're enjoying every second of it. The hunter wishes he'd had more time to tease you. The way you beg for his cock is like music to his ears, and he could listen to it all night long, but your ass rubbing against his erection is making him lose his patience.

After fumbling in his pockets, the hunter finally founds a small plastic wrapper. With a hoarse "hold on, doll." and a featherlight kiss on your shoulder, Kishibe withdraws his fingers from you to open the packaging and unroll the condom over his dripping member before coating it with your glistening juices. His heart races as he pulls your panties down and guides his tip to your dripping slit.

"Are you ready for me, my little bunny?" Kishibe husks. The pleading "yes" coming out of you is all he needs to hear before entering you slowly with a drawn-out grunt that reverberates throughout your body. His hands slide down to your hips, gripping them tightly as he takes time to savor -with closed eyes- the way your wetness swallows him whole. Reminding himself that both of you must return before raising suspicion, the hunter begins to move in a slow, sensual rhythm.

Finally, what you had been fantasizing about for so long has come true. Kishibes's thick cock feels better than you ever imagine, and your mind stops functioning. Your vocabulary is soon reduced to two syllables and a common curse word. The hunter stretches your walls so deliciously that you can't help but moan his name out loud as you pull him closer against your back, bringing his mouth to your neck and lifting your buttocks to take him deeper.

"Fuck me harder," you plead when the fire burning inside you needs more fuel and when the sublime ache between your legs compels you to pursue its explosive end. Unknowingly, you have just awakened the beast inside the hunter. Following your command, the gentle pace of Kishibe's thrusts increases to become a relentless pounding. The chaotic sound of the city can barely muffle your melodious moans and the hunter's low grunts. Squelching noises mix with breathy curses as you bend over to allow him a better angle, finding support in the damp wall in front of you.

"Ohhh, Y/N... I might get used to fuck that sweet pussy of yours," Kishibe growls, watching himself disappear again and again inside your warmth. Amidst cries of pleasure, you agree to his disguised proposition, and the hunter feels himself throb. If he isn't careful, he might get too carried away and finish quicker than intended.

In the enticing torture of unmeasured lust, you reach for his hand and guide it to your pulsating clit. The hunter can't help but smile as you show him how badly you need him to finish the job. With his fingers eagerly rubbing your sensitive spot and his hips smacking against yours with every powerful thrust, you feel yourself ascending faster and faster to that paradise that only those who dare to give free rein to their desires can reach.

With his name on your lips and shudders of pleasure flowing through your body, you finally surrender to the sweet bliss of your orgasm. Amid ecstasy, you notice how Kishibe's breathing becomes shallower, and the pace of his pounding becomes more erratic. Soon after, he's joining you in heaven with short and breathy curses.

*****

Once you get your breaths back and have finished adjusting your clothes and hair, the two of you return to the restaurant. Your legs are still a little clumsy, and you blush when you remember what happened just a few minutes ago and a few meters away. The man next to you, on the other hand, looks as calm and neutral as ever, except when he turns to look at you and gives you a knowing wink.

Most of your teammates have already passed out on the table, and the rest -who are still a little conscious- are calling cabs for the whole team. The young man -who's been working with you for the past seven months- waves at you when you come closer. His gaze is blurry, and the stupid grin on his face is a sign that tomorrow he will wake up wishing he had died during the mission.

"Y/N! I-I... thought you had... gonehome," His words slur, and you barely understand what he's saying. "Are y-you... comingwithus?... We are s-sharing a cab." He concludes, trying to point with a akward finger at the people he means by "us."

"It's okay. Y/N was having a smoke with me," Kishibe replies before you even can come up with an answer. "And no, I already offered to take her home..." he adds before turning to you and lowering his tone. "That, in case you're ready for a second round."

The warmth of a deep blush crawls up your neck. The boldness of Kishibe's offer takes you aback. But you would never forgive yourself if you turned it down, not after having a small try at your captain's talents. After checking that no one else had listened to that last sentence, you stroke your partner's shoulder and wave your team goodbye.

"Let's go, " you reply, and Kishibe's shit-eating grin makes you doubt for a moment if you made the right decision.

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I hope you don´t mind if I tag you ���

if-dreams-do-come-true, miamisa101, hellokittiesxbae, gal-in-blue, hollowrose, campkento, thisblogisamess2k22I, angelforaki, aurorajh, soreannayru, fr0ppuccin0, broken-promises93, gumbai, karlalove2002, thecloudcoveringu, rspbrry22, gloomy-butterfly, neo-memeserenity, psychogia, kaytheg0d, spider-soul, wakawhatoshi, cherry-blossom5, chloeeccat, 3413755, boogybk

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 3, Episode 8, Part 4: "Let The Games Begin", the part where Lorelai says that if Jess was trapped inside her burning house she would save her shoes first

Lorelai Gilmore, you are no Jack Pearson. I won't complete that thought, even though I'm feeling nice and mean and I totally should.

Scene: Lorelai and Rory are discussing the upcoming road trip to New Haven with the Gilmore Grands. Rory forgot to pack. Lorelai goes into panic mode. Rory questions why she needs to pack her entire closet for a short road trip. Lorelai recounts a family vacation story from her childhood that would be best unpacked in a lengthy therapy session, frets that her mother will lecture them for under-packing, starts rummaging through Rory's dresser. Rory catches Lorelai making a double entendre about a meaty taco and declares it was dirty. The show makes another dig at New Haven after Lorelai brings home a pamphlet about Exciting Things to Do In New Haven but it's only a few pages long.

You sound surprised, as if ya'll aren't wearing heavy coats and long sleeves in the spring and summer. I swear there's something in the drinking water affecting everyone's thyroids in this town, they can't regulate their body temperatures.

Could anyone tell I'm stalling here? Classic Salty.

Rory: Mom, stop rummaging through my shit. Awwwe. Even Evil Villains like Lorelai Gilmore get the blues. I'm surprised she decided to go on this road trip to Yale instead of sending Rory off alone with the Grands, that way she'd have the house and Dean Forrester to herself the entire day. Since Dean's sexual stamina only extends to 1-2 minutes, they could have had sex hundreds of times in a day.

Two quips that sprang to mind (couldn't decided which one was better): The only words Lorelai is thinking about right now are "Dean" and "Shower". Lorelai thinks Jess removed Rory's bracelet while they're in the shower together? Jess could only hope.

Excuse me for a moment... *deep inhale*

I went into the Tumblr gifs library and looked up "peaceful". Here is a nice, presumably not-evil, Peaceful Bunny.

So not only does Jess commit attempted vehicular homicide, and steal Quarters on a String, he steals said QOAS by forcibly ripping them directly off the wrists of poor unsuspsecting delicate young ladies.

Nice try. You think you're so slick, but you're not, Slick Gilly.

You all don't understand the effort it takes for me to break down a scene like this without taking the cowards way out and simply rage quitting (which I have done before). I have to come up with multiple lines of witty, cutting commentary about what is unfolding before me, when all I want to do is KEYBORD SMASH. SO, YOU KNOW WHAT I WILL!! ITS A FREE COUNTRY ISNT IT! BALD EAGLE BASEBALL APPLE PIE! (Deep inhale) sagfshafgahfgasvxzcywtryqwuhajlkansjbkfagsfyafvabsfvsdgr2347527q2y4q#&$T%#^%^#*U@(%)&@tGSHFBSHFSVAGFSFS FUCKYOULORELAIGILMORE#^&#^%&#^WGHFSHGAS@$%@^@

Thank for reminding the audience the reason why Lorelai thinks Jess should, ya know, die painfully and slowly. He was mouthy once. (the Netflix captions borked the line; Rory also said "and wrecked my car", but as if that makes Lorelai's treatment of Future Nephew any more justifable).

I am told that in a later season, Lorelai bemoans the fact that unlike Dean, Jess never offered to change her water bottle for her. NOW WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? YOU'RE ABOUT TO WISH HIM A FIREY DEATH. AND WHEN HE WAS (FORCIBLY) APPOINTED TO CLEAN YOUR GUTTERS YOU DIDN'T WANT HIS HELP..

Lorelai practically moans this, lol. We know "Change the water bottle" can mean two very different things. You ain't so slick, Slick Gilly.

Welcome to Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation Theater! See, here's the thing Slick Gilly, I watched an entire frigging episode about you accusing Jess of being a thief, it was called Lost and Found and it took me four frigging centuries to finish, I'm quite sure I have concrete evidence that you have accused him of stealing things. I am Jess Mariano's defense attorney and I will see you in court. Bring Rory too, she should also start getting used to what a court room looks like.

Rory, honey. Sweetie. Sugar bear. It's best you don't wish for a crystal ball. Just strap in to the rollercoaster that is dating Jess Mariano while living with your mother, and pray.

See, here's the thing Slick Gilly, I watched an entire frigging episode about you not letting Jess enter your house, it was called Swan Song and it will take me four frigging centuries to rewatch it.

This "Jess talks in grunts" shtick is getting old and moldy.

So not only does Jess commit attempted vehicular homicide, steal Quarters on a String, and steal said QOAS by forcibly ripipng them directly off the wrists of poor unsuspsecting delicate young ladies, but he's also an arsonist, and not only is he an arsonist, he's such a bad one that he'll apparently be killed by his handiwork? (he also can't be trusted to clean gutters). He was probably trying to off himself instead of live in Stars Hollow for another minute. Can we recall another time Rory tried to play this same grim hypothetical with her mom? Does Rory, like Jess, also have some kind of firey death wish? I mean, who can blame either of them. *twinkly flashback music to early season 2*

I notice Pigtails didn't say "my daughter" this time, either. Sorry Rory. Maybe try playing a third time until she answers with "Some form of human life." Lorelai lies to Rory's face that she "promised you before and am promising you again that I will cut "this kid" some slack." Alright, I ran through my 30 screen shots, let's stuff this scene in a sack and throw it into the lake with Shane and her swan family.

Rory: "You're just waiting for the day I break up with Jess." Lorelai The Villain: "Did I like Dean? Yes. Did I worry less when you were with dean? Yes! I never expected you to be with Dean forever. I don't expect you to be with Jess forever." What a pile of rancid baloney. Maybe he won't be with Rory forever, but 13 years later Jess becomes her nephew and will be a part of her family forever and I will never, ever, ever stop loving that. What JUSTICE.

When I hit my lowest of low valleys listening to this wretched woman spew her many lies and Gilly-Nonsense, It's often the only thing that makes me smile.

[the1975attheirverybest]

matty in a black tank top is doing something to me. need a dom fic of him rnnnnn

I think you’re right, actually. Ask and ye shall receive, dear Anon. Here it is!

warnings: smut, dom!Matty. Also I just wrote this on the spot so, sorry if it’s messy.

Should’ve planned to put something out for Lollapalooza. To be fair, no amount of planning could’ve ever prepared me for black tank top Matty and his slutty arms. But if you’d like me to start doing specific timeline one shots planned around public appearances or the next leg of tour, lmk. Anyways happy reading and let me know what you think!

———

Festival State of Mind

“Ah, yes! There she is!! Give ‘er to me now.” Matty called out to his guitar tech with his hands wide open. 

His girlfriend, who’d been busy helping Ross untangle the necklaces that had wrapped inexplicably around the top buttons of his shirt, heard Matty speak and quickly whipped her head around to see what was going on. She swore that was the voice Matty usually used to greet her. Especially whenever she was wearing something that he’d found particularly attractive, or whenever he was hoping to get laid. 

She felt her heart flutter in her chest as she watched Matty receive and handle his new guitar with delicate attention and care. Her eyes tracked the way that his left palm wrapped tightly around the neck of the guitar sliding the metallic body under his arm and slotting it tightly against his chest. She watched him slide a single finger down the 6th string, the instrument responsively squeaking at his touch, she caught herself squeezing her thighs together and wishing she were the instrument. What the fuck was wrong with her? She was convinced there was just something in the air in this city. Or maybe it was just the energy of festivals. The guys hadn’t done one in a while after all. Their excitement and nerves were palpable. Or perhaps it was her who needed to get her head out of the gutter. Or maybe Matty was being a tease. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause of the electric energy, the tension, that she’d felt all day, but she knew she had to do something about it. 

“I don’t know, Ross, it’s a lost cause.” She let go of Ross’s tangled necklaces and wandered over to Matty, hovering over him as he sat on the couch, in the middle of the backstage instrument room, and strummed his new guitar. 

“What’ve you got here?” She placed a hand on his shoulder, the feeling of his toned muscles contracting as he played his instrument instantly sending a shiver down her spine. 

“You like my new guitar?” He grinned from behind his curls. 

“Why is it, um, kinda rectangular shaped?”

“It’s part of her unique charm.” Matty gushed with pride. 

“Sorry, her?” She laughed

“Yes, her. This guitar is no ‘it’ my dear. Look at her! Vintage 1958.” Matty processed to ramble on about what made this specific instrument so important, all the expert hands that had played it before him, how much he’d paid to locate it, and how glorious the opening riff of ‘Sex’ was going to sound on it tonight. All she really heard, though, was ‘Sex’ and her head was spinning. She bit her lip, waiting for Matty to look up from his new obsession, but he seemed hardly aware that she was still standing there. 

“Would it be weird of me to say that - umm…I’m kind of jealous of your guitar right now?” She whispered the second half of her question. 

“Very weird. But it’s okay. Your weirdness is what I love- Oi! What’re you-“ Matty was baffled when she swiftly pulled the guitar away from his body. 

“Oh, she’s heavy.” The thought of Matty seamlessly handling such a bulky instrument spurring her filthy thoughts on even further.  “Adam, darling, would you take this guitar and finish tuning it please?”

Adam did not need an excuse to spend time with any new guitar, let alone this one. He jumped at the chance, completely delighted at her request. “Of course!”

Matty sat back, befuddled. Within seconds, his girlfriend had found a way to not only get rid of his instrument, but also take its place in his lap. She straddled him, kissing his neck. 

“Baby?” He whispered, breathless at the feeling of her lips on his skin, and blushing a little at her brazenly throwing himself at him in front of everyone in the room. “What’s gotten into you?”

“You.” She simply stated, not bothering to look up at him. 

“L-listen, not that I don’t love this….but we’ve gotta get ready.”

She whined and finally pulled away from him giving him a big pout. “Fine, okay, I’ll help you get ready. Ooo could I undress you? Please?”

“Not changin.’ Just gonna go on like this.”

“E-excuse- you’re gonna- like this?! As in…you’re wearing THIS? To….the…stage? In front of - like- people?

“Mhm.” Matty got off the couch and went about his pre-show ritual. Checking that his gear is ready, warming up his vocals, packing his cigarettes and drinks….leaving her hanging and frustrated. 

***

The show was flawless. She was furious. She knew she was overreacting, but overhearing people in the crowd whisper, gush, and swoon over her boyfriend had set something on fire within her. She needed to find Matty instantly. 

The clock was ticking. Festivals did not operate like tours. They only had the backstage area for a set period of time. She needed to make the most of it. She squeezed past crew members and festivals staff, turning left and right in search of her boyfriend. When she found him, he was giddy with excitement. 

“Hi, love of my life.” He kissed her cheek, the scent of his cologne, sweat, and cigarettes enveloping her. Matty was being sweet, he was in a good mood, a chatty mood. “What’d you think of the show? I thought it went well. Maybe there were a couple of moments where I could’ve-“

She interrupted him by grabbing his hand and pulling him behind her. 

“Where are we going?”

“Anywhere private!”

She tried one of the dressing rooms but found George in there. Not bothering to spare him a greeting, she turned herself and Matty back around and headed in the other direction. 

“Supply closet. Guess this’ll have to do.” When she was certain that no one was watching, she pulled them both inside, shutting the door behind them and locking it. She wasted no time in shoving Matty against the door and kissing him harshly. 

Matty was initially thrown, so he’d let her overpower him and take the lead, however, once he’d got on to what she wanted, and with the post-show adrenaline coursing through his blood, he decided he’d indulge in a little game. He wrapped his arms around her, tearing her body from his and disrupting the kiss. She whimpered, batting her eyelashes at him and giving him a begging look. 

“I’ve had enough of your greediness, you brat.” The arm he had around her shoulders moved up to her hair, pulling it at the base and eliciting a cry from her lips. “All. Fucking. Day. You’ve been actin’ needy. Practically throwing yourself at me. Interruptin’ my work.” He spat, “messin with my instruments. Distractin’ me from doin’ my job.” He leaned in, his lips by her ears. “I’ve let it go cuz I’ve been busy. But it’s time to make you pay.” His smooth voice and his threatening words made her heart beat furiously in her chest. 

With one swift motion, Matty used the hand he had in her hair to pull her so she was facing the door, back to him. He hiked up the skirt of her dress, roughly shoving her underwear to the side and swiping his finger across her slit. She cried out incoherently, her tongue at a loss for words. 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. You dirty little whore. What’s made you this wet? Hmm?” 

The sound of his voice, combined with the rough touch of his fingers, and his harsh words had effectively scrambled her brain. 

“Speak! I asked you a fuckin’ question.”

To her surprise, his anger had alarmed her and made her sad. Desperate. He’d subdued her. She was utter powerless now. All she wanted was to make him happy. 

“Y-you did. You made me this wet. Y’just- look- so….in this black top. I- umm, I think- people were sayin’ you look like a Greek statue. Your arms. Your hair. I- just wanted- you’re mine.”

Matty’s response was to chuckle, his breath hot against the back of her neck, and rub her clit with his thumb, his index finger pumping into her roughly. 

She melted against the door, he knees barely holding her up as she whimpered and begged for Matty to her cum. 

“You wanna hear something funny? In the Middle Ages, festivals were supposed to induce a particular state of mind. They were a chance for people to have fun. Once a year. Exercise their most indulgent desires within a controlled environment. Food, sex, music. A way to get all that dirty, animalistic lust out of their system. To ensure that they’d behave the rest of the year when the festival ended. And…it’s just given me an idea-“

He promptly pulled away from her. One hand leaving her cunt, the other leaving her hair. Without his body supporting her, and without his fingers pleasuring her, she lost balance, crying and shaking as she fell to the floor. 

Matty leaned against the door, towering menacingly over her. “On the floor where you belong.” He smirked. “What? You’re not happy?”

“Please- I want-“

“Sorry, you ‘want’? What makes you think I give a fuck what you want?”

She whined again, “please? I need to cum so bad” she reached her arms over her head, moving to unbuckle his pants, but he slapped them away. 

“I didn’t say you could touch me.”

“S-sorry.”

“You wanna cum, you’re gonna have to do it yourself.”

She blinked up at him, unsure what he meant or how to react. She knew, though, that if she didn’t give him exactly the right response, he’d take her pleasure away. 

“Go on then. We don’t have time.” He patted his though, finally cluing her in. 

Fuck. He wanted her to ride him. His thigh. Make herself cum over his jeans. 

“B-but the…stain-“

“I don’t give a fuck.”

She blushed, staring at his thigh.

“Look, either you do it, or you don’t cum at all. S up to you. But I don’t have all day, so, offer expires in-“

He didn’t need to tell her twice. She was too desperate to think about the consequences, how it would look to people, or how it would make her feel. She straddled his leg, promptly moving up and down on his thighs. The rough material of the denim giving her the right mix of friction and pain to make her moan. 

Matty wasn’t about to let her have all the fun. He tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling at it whenever he sensed her getting too caught up in her pleasure, occasionally slapping at her breasts, tweaking her nipples over her dress, making her cry out and moan his name. 

“I’m so- close. Please?”

“Please what?” Matty squeezed her cheeks together, looking her directly in her clouded, dilating eyes, a smile on his face. 

“Please may I cum?” She panted, her words mostly incoherent.

“Cum.” He let go of her face. She instantly buried it in his neck and bit down on her own lip to keep from screaming. She tasted the blood fall from her lip as she came, and shook wildly around Matty’s leg. Her knees buckling, she almost fell right on her ass were it not for Matty wrapping an arm around her waist, and pulling her to him. 

He kissed her sweaty, hot forehead. “Good girl.”

[aiyexayen]

Oh oh oh!!! Do an AITA for your choice of HanWenZhou *chin hands* pretty please *blinks my big brown doe eyes at you* 💜

AITA for stalking my boss after he quit the job and didn't tell me?

Good morning, internet. I need a wider range of opinions on this issue.

You don't need my name. I (23M) have been working for my boss (30M) for approximately ten years. He saved my life and took me in off the streets. Obviously, my dedication to serve him in turn will last even into the next life. Technically we both work for someone else, but my boss's boss (details confidential) has little to do with our department and barely knows of my existence beyond a name in a list so I have always considered my loyalty to be to my boss above all else and considered my boss's boss and the job as a whole to be secondary.

A year ago, my boss quit the job suddenly. He didn't say, but it's likely due to the death of his family who also worked the job with us, even though it had been something like eighteen months since that incident and my boss had shown no indication that he was slowing down or preparing to leave. If anything, he worked everyone harder than before.

One day he sent me out on an errand and then not only quit but vanished completely before I got back. Nobody knew where he'd gone, he left no contact information, and his position was already being filled.

My life is devoted to my boss entirely. Wherever he goes, I will follow; whatever he needs, I will be. I know he knows this for a fact, so I expected to find some instruction left for me or some word sent back. I waited weeks and heard nothing. I would have quit, too, in a heartbeat, but I stayed so I could use the resources at my job to look for him. I even got myself sent out on a business trip to a few cities where I thought I might find some clues.

It wasn't only for myself that I was searching--no one had reliable information about his departure, but I gathered that he seriously injured himself as an excuse to quit and I was deeply concerned for his health. Luckily, I know him well enough and I found him in only a matter of months.

My boss didn't seem upset to run into me, but he wasn't thrilled, either. I was glad to see him in good health--he had found a significant other in his travels and also taken on an apprentice. However, something seemed off in the way he dismissed me.

Even though he told me to go back to work and leave him be, I hung around town for a couple of weeks, still on my job's dime, following him through the streets to keep an eye on things. It was fortuitous that I did, because one night he went and got drunk after a fight with his new S.O. and only the fact that I was able to carry him out of there and to my hotel room kept him out of the gutter. And I was correct--something worse was wrong. He was refusing treatment for his self-inflicted injury, and it was secretly killing him.

He insisted that I leave him to die. I know him, though, and if he took on an apprentice and started dating again, what sense does that make? I offered to travel with him to take care of him, but he said he didn't need my help and ordered me to go back home.

Technically, I did, but only so I could keep using my position at my job to do research on methods of healing and recovery. Meanwhile I kept tabs on my [old] boss and his S.O. and apprentice's whereabouts. I knew he'd be pissed, but I was certain if I presented a comprehensive treatment plan with all the tools he needed, I could change his mind.

It got more complicated over the following months due to my boss's boss also trying to hunt down my boss (long story, irrelevant) to try and get him to come back to work while I was put under investigation for suspected unauthorized use of company resources.

Long story short, I stole what I could from my job and fled to the house where my informants told me my boss had settled down. I didn't make it out cleanly. I guess my boss's boss and my boss's replacement saw it coming and had me followed and shot and I arrived at my boss's place half-dead.

That was a few weeks ago now. I'm recovering just fine, and my boss seems to have reached some agreement with the company. He also seems to be doing a lot better mentally and has finally agreed to not die. However, he won't talk to me at all now. He hasn't kicked me out of his house, and his S.O. and apprentice seem to like me quite well, but they also seem to be on his side.

I will be the first to bow my head and accept correction, but in this case I can't imagine having done anything different, save being quicker on my feet to not get shot, or stealing more on my way out. I would give my life for his without question; how could I do less? I don't expect gratitude. I just don't know what's going to happen next, or if I'm missing something about this situation.

Am I the asshole?

[kaidalark]

Loki Smut x (fem)Reader

Summary: You and Loki prove you belong to each other to a pushy human female who won't take a hint.

Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, Semi-public sex, Exhibitionism.

Word count: 1360

I watch amused as the busty blonde across the room attempts once again to seduce Loki. Currently running a finger down his chest throwing her head back as she giggles. This entire trip she has not left Loki alone, flirting at every chance even when I am stood right next to him. But he is mine and I am his, there is no jealousy. Well perhaps a little but I know he is as loyal as I am if not more. Loki's magic reaches out for mine wrapping around it gently 

My love, please come back quickly. 

I'm coming.

I can feel his smirk I prefer when you say that in a different scenario. 

Loki!  

He turns shooting me a wink If I could my love I would fuck you right here, right now and prove to this Midguardian that I am well and truly taken. 

I clench my thighs at the thought while sauntering my way to his side his arm finding its place around my waist "There you are my love. Are you ready to retire for the evening?" I smile up at him "Yes, thank you I feel rather tired." the blonde laughs fluttering her eyelashes "I'm not tired, stay with me for a drink?" Loki clenches his jaw managing a polite smile "No, I would rather accomany my fiancee to our room." 

She sighs "I would be much more fun. You are welcome to join me in my room, I could show you how a woman should satisfy a man." I bite back my smirk playing back memories of mine and Lokis many dalliances. Her mortal energy would never match ours.

Perhaps we could give her a visual of how I keep you satisfied? 

What did you have in mind my love

She doesn't seem to believe what we tell her perhaps we should show her. Allow her to accidently stumble apon us. Perhaps we could take a stroll on the beach, I am feeling rather warm.

Loki smirks his grip on my waist tightening "On second thoughts, I feel like a walk. Excuse us." I shoot the blonde a smile while Loki leads us outside and out the hotel grounds to the private beach, a secluded area with large rocks rising out of the sand. The woman follows slightly behind her thoughts loud as day, she plans on getting Loki alone relying on my tiredness causing me to retire back to the hotel. Well she is going to get a lot more than she bargained for. 

I stop walking and shove Loki against the nearest boulder crashing my lips into his palming him through his trousers. Growling against his lips "Your mine." he grins tugging at my clothes "And you my love are all mine." I take a step back and drop to my knees tugging his cock free stroking it gently a few times before wrapping my lips around the tip swiping the underside with my tounge. I'm going to show that stupid woman just how well I can please my husband to be. 

Digging my fingers into his thighs Loki groans low one hand bunched in my hair hips bucking slightly as I continue my movements. I reach out with my magic nails scratching at his toned abdomen Don't be quite my love. He groans louder this time fisting my hair "Fuck darling, treat me so well." 

I deep throat him bringing one hand up to stroke what doesn't fit in my mouth while he makes a deep gutteral noise. "Fuck love, I'm not going to last long." I smirk focusing my attention on his tip stroking him gently until he cums hips stuttering as moans spill from his lips. I don't let up my movements continuing to suck and stroke while his hands grip my hair tightly "Fuck sweetheart. So good too me." 

Once I'm certain he's finished I pull away licking my lips clean before standing smirking broadly while Loki stands chest heaving "Not sure she got the point darling. Come here." He flips us around so my back is pressed against the rock bringing my legs up to rest on his hips one hand dipping down between my thighs "So wet for me baby."

Groaning he lines himself up capturing my lips with his as he bottoms out hands gripping my hips tight enough to bruise"Fuck darlin' so good for me." We both moan and I tangle my fingers in his hair moaning into his mouth "Fuck Loki." he smirks hands snaking around to my ass groping and massaging. Gasping I open my eyes raking my fingers down Lokis back smirking when I lock eyes with the blonde bitch poorly hidden in the trees.

I stare right at her before peppering kisses down Lokis neck biting down on his pulse point sucking a dark mark onto his skin. Smiling triumpently I pull away locking eyes once more with the blonde while Loki smirks stealing my gaze "Is she watching?" I nod moaning loudly as he quickens his pace one hand coming up to settle around my neck squeezing gently "Show her how I make you cum then darling." I groan throwing my head back as he uses his magic hold my legs in place while his spare hand moves down my clit rubbing harsh circles onto the sensitive nerves making me wimper "I'm close... Loki I'm gonna." he grins lips pressing against mine "Cum for me."

I scream as I cum raking my fingers down his back as I cum thighs shaking from the power of it. Loki continues to thrust harshly not moving his fingers from my clit "Cum for me again love, you can do it." Moaning loudly I let my second orgasm come crashing down, writhing under his grip as pleasure takes over. Lokis hips stutter as I squeeze him tightly moaning into his ear "Cum for me my prince. Fill me up with your seed." he groans deeply hips stuttering to a halt as ropes of cum paint my insides some leaking out around his cock.

Locking eyes with him I reach down and run my fingers around his base collecting a mix of our cum before bringing it to my lips licking then clean. I hum reaching down for more "Want to keep it all inside me. Go to sleep full of your cum." he chuckles and slowly pulls out replacing his cock with an emerald green plug making me moan happily.  I drop my feet to the floor before sliding down too my knees taking his cock in my hand starting to lick it clean kitten licking the tip as small beads of cum spurt out. "F-fuck sweet heart so good to me."

I take him fully into my mouth making sure I get every bit of cum before placing a kiss to his tip and standing once more where he crashes his lips into mine "I think she got the hint." I smirk and glance over at the womans hiding place she is still crouched there ashen faced as though in a state of shock. Smirking I pull my dress into place before bending over to check my shoes giving her a nice view of my cum stained thighs and green toy buried between my folds.

Loki chuckles fixing his trousers "Back to our room for round two my darling?" I smirk tangling my fingers with his "Lead the way my love." We walk hand in hand straight pass the blonde whom Loki offers a sickly sweet smile "Sorry didn't see you there, can't stop I'm in the mood for something sweet." he squeezes my ass by no means hiding the action or the sultry tone of his voice. She stands straightening the front of her skirt heat filling her cheeks "You umm. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves." Loki chuckles darkly "Oh we never minded having an audience. My fiancee in fact loves claiming me as hers and I her in return."

The woman flushes and splutters before turning on her heel and stomping away. Loki smirks licking his lips "Now darling I'm hungry for something that isn't on the menu."

[xyilous]

Everyone Needs Rest Sometimes

————————————

a friend and someone on here asked, i am (nervously) delivering

comfort fic but this time it’s Optimus getting the care he deserves 💞💞 written as my oc, but no names will be mentioned so it feels more like a self insert thing. Also intended to be read as either platonic or romantic, but my lean towards the latter based on people’s boundaries !! Written with tfp Optimus in mind, uses his holoform (cough cough heres my design cough)

cw for mental health stuff, anxiety, paranoia // might be slightly ooc but shhh

also there’s a bath scene (get your head out of the gutter!!/lh,j)

————————————

It’s been relatively quiet as of late, no new decepticon sightings or M.E.C.H. mischief popping up on the scanner. The peace was welcomed by most of team prime, the kids taking advantage of having free time with their robotic companions while the adults could be at a little ease knowing the youngsters aren’t in immediate danger. Considering there was a bit of a surge of enemy activity, the crew relished in being able to wind down from an intense week. Even Ratchet stepped away from his enhanced computer and projects to watch Raf and Jack go head to head in some (slightly too graphic) fighting game. You just finished prepping different popcorns and gathering a couple large bottles of various sodas, carrying everything including cups and napkins with the help of Arcee.

The only one missing out was Optimus. The old war warn autobot felt uneasy, cautious. While the team did just bust the decepticon’s most recent plan, he can’t help but worry himself by wandering what new scheme they’re coming up with. Seeing everyone having fun and conversing with each other was more than welcomed, the fear of that joy being ripped away from them made anxiety seep into his tired frame. He replaced Ratchet’s usual spot near the ground bridge switch, hitting multiple keys as he typed in the coordinates to yet another location to patrol. This is the third time today alone that he was preparing to drive off and watch for any possible leads, that’s the way it’s been since the updates died down. There wasn’t even enough time between attacks for them to plan something big and yet you could see that it was making him paranoid. Poor thing desperately needed a break, and yet he continues to push through, even though it’s clearly taking a huge toll on his spark. It was sad to witness, you could see how his eyebrows were tilted up in concern, how his steady servos hurriedly danced along the keyboard, it was beyond apparent the Optimus is running himself to the breaking point.

Slinking away from the others, you jogged to where he was standing and leaned against the rails, flagging him down just as the ground bridge started opening. Confusion was written all over his face as he turned towards your much smaller self, wondering why you weren’t mingling with the others. Before Optimus could even get a word out, you opened your mouth.

“You’re not going.” The Prime’s confusion increased at your order, not necessarily out of anger or annoyance, just surprise that you said it so plainly. However you stood your ground and sent him a look that showed you were more than serious. Standing face to face with a 30 foot cybernetic alien would’ve sent anyone else running with their tail between their legs, apparently not you though.

“Excuse me?” Turning to fully face you, Optimus rested his large servos on the railings of the platform, surrounding you like a cage. With a clear view of his front side, you can see just all the scratches and scuffs from recent battles, clearly unchecked by the base’s lone medic. Paint was chipping in areas, mud caked into others, apparently he’s been so caught up in protecting everyone that he didn’t even take his well-being into consideration.

“You’re not going. When’s the last time you recharged? O-Or even had energon?? Have you even seen yourself lately???” With every word that came out of your mouth, you sounded more and more upset, that concern you felt for the bot being beyond apparent in your tone. Optimus’ face drifted from confusion as he thought for a moment, before stating that your worries have been noted. That’s it? Yep. That was indeed it. Silently he turned back toward the still glowing ground bridge, completely brushing off your mini speech.

“No get your ass back here!! Don’t walk away from me!” Charging down the stairs while doing your best to not trip and stumble, you made your way infront of the walkway that led to whatever location he punched in, immediately doing your best to block his path. It didn’t do much, even with your hands sassily propped onto your hips, but it was enough to make his alt mode stop infront of you. By now Ratchet has picked up on your little spiel, alerting the others before inching his way to where he can hear. Not necessarily out of concern for a full argument starting, the old medic just hasn’t seen many tell the high and mighty Optimus Prime off.

It was rather tense, you clearly weren’t going to move from your spot and Optimus was just about as stubborn. After a long pause he folded outward and became upright again, wondering if he should just step around you. You are very small compared to him, he can do it, but he knows both you and Ratchet will chew him out later.

“I must go, if they are planning something it must be stopped before it comes to fruition.” That’s his first reason, usually the first one he says since it’s often times enough to get his teammates to side with his reasoning.

“It’ll be there later, you know that. Besides, they just tried to build some weird giant laser, big Earth threatening plans like that need time. You’ll be alright for a day.” And there’s your counter argument. Although you’ve not been with the autobots for years, you’ve been there long enough to have already thought of ways to get through whatever excuse he tosses at you. At the very least he has good motives.

“I don’t know how cybertronians work, but i do know that any living thing needs a break. That includes you, Optimus. Come on, I know what’ll make you feel better.” It helped convince him a little, but he’s still apprehensive. Ratchet finally buts in, just to confirm what you said, and then goes quiet again. The Prime’s face softened as you rested your hand on his knee, by now he’s kneeled down to be more level with you. Your attitude was harsh, yes, but you still showed that it was because you cared for the mech.

“I’m still a prime. You know this, I have a duty to fulfill.” And there’s the prime excuse. It was often a backup if his original reasoning wasn’t enough, but now isn’t the time for it to be tossed out. His worsening exhaustion is evident in his features and movements, the large digits that attempted to console you felt sluggish, drained. Guilt echoed out of his vocal cords due to the exchange, he felt terrible for making you and his team worry over him. A glance around the room revealed the distressed looks in his teammate’s eyes and optics. They knew just as well as he did that he was being overly cautious and in turn hurting himself, but they weren’t sure of when to intervene.

“Then for a few hours be Optimus. Nothing more.” An ex-vent heaved itself from his chest before he drew back.

“Just a few hours. I will grant you that and then I will patrol. For real this time.” As the words left his mouth you immediately sprung up, somewhat taken back that you got him to reluctantly agree. Ratchet, still hovering behind you, looked beyond bewildered at the fact that you were able to convince him, even when he, a millennia old medic and friend, failed to do so. A few hours isn’t a lot of time so you had to get to work immediately in order to take advantage of the situation. One problem though, a rather large one at that. The art of taking care of massive metal aliens was one far too foreign to your fleshy self, however humans are a different story.

“…Would you mind using your holoform in the meantime…? You don’t have to of course!! It’s just uhh, a bit hard to reach that high.” Rest in peace to your cocky attitude, it was a good run. A small nod and flash of light later, his much smaller and meatier form revealed itself. Technically a very high definition hologram, he still had the sensory inputs that you needed to soothe him the best you knew how. If anything, the softer form would allow you to do better than if it remained stiff. Optimus still towered over you, by the looks of it his intimidating height transferred to his holoform, as well as features to show how tired he is. Scars decorated his exposed bits of skin, a few adorned his face but from what you can see numerous ones were etched into the calloused skin of his hands. His eyes drooped and the bags underneath were beyond visible, the combination of his tired expression and slouched shoulders felt like a crude impersonation of the strong leader you’ve grown to know. It must’ve been obvious that you felt pity towards him since Optimus averted his eyes from your view, almost like an animal preparing for a scolding after doing something it was specifically told not to do.

“Come on, I’ll take care of you.” Your hand took his and you led him down the hall, straight to a bathroom that you did a slight renovation to in attempts to make it more homey. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but the underneath the sink you stored numerous bath salts, some used to help with sore muscles and some infused with lavender to help soothe anyone that could possibly need it. The door swung open effortlessly as the two of you walked into the smaller than ideal room, there was enough space for the both of you to move and exist without knocking into eachother, but it was still a snug fit. With a twist of the faucet knobs cool water flowed out before gradually starting to heat up, while the water slowly filled the tub Optimus found himself lost on what to do besides stand there with his arms stiff at his sides. He wasn’t dirty, you weren’t either, so why did you start a bath,,?

“Here, while this fills up I’m gonna dig out a couple things to help you relax, god knows you need it. Go ahead and get undressed, I promise I won’t look.” Your grin was evident on your voice as you spoke, trying to ease the tension by making joking a bit before hiding behind the now open cabinet doors to dig out the previously mentioned bath salts.

“Is this not an… intimate? thing for humans?” His words were a bit hesitant, unsure if that was the correct term to use. Optimus was always curious about Earth culture and routinely asked you questions about stuff he finds, whether it be online or something he saw a family or friend group do while on patrol, but this time it seems like he was figuring out things on his own.

“To some people, sure. Depends on who you ask in all honesty, for me I don’t mind it. If it makes you feel any better I’ll step out and wait until you’re settled if you want-“

“It’s alright. I’ll let you know when to look.” Turning your head back towards the inside of the cabinet you resumed your hunt for your bath add ins as the sound of rustling clothes filled the room. By the time you finally got a glimpse of the lavender flowers and the word ‘epsom salt’ slapped onto a bag, you could hear rippling water settle before Optimus let you know you’re not at risk of getting flashed.

Crawling on your knees towards the tub, you showed him your miracle workers you salvaged from under the sink, explaining that the salt helps muscles stop aching and that the lavender scent can help people take off the edge, even helps some sleep better. You sprinkled a generous amount of each into the water, getting a glimpse of even more scars that riddled the old Prime’s body. Some were raised, others with lines across them that show just how the skin mended itself together, all caused by a countless amount of battles, some of which were won, some of which were lost. They even speckled his knees and the bits of his legs that weren’t covered by the warm water. He was tense, unsure of what to do. Optimus isn’t used to relaxing like this, the vulnerability of it all made him feel exposed and like danger is lingering around, even with the ‘aromatherapy’ as you called it. His fists were clenched against his own will, he must be ready at all times to protect his team, he has to do anything he can to prevent another loss. Pressure and paranoia gnawed at him, the echoing thoughts in his head didn’t help in the slightest. He shouldn’t be doing this, it’s selfish to stop when everyone could be in danger, he needs to go-

“If something happens the others can handle it. You need to take care of yourself just like the others.” At your words the racing thoughts halted, immediately pausing to let him take in what you said and to wonder how you knew what he was thinking. Your hand rubbed soft circles into his shoulder as you spoke, gently trying to bring him out of his unfavorable headspace. He looked at you for reassurance, eyes wide and nearly timid, you could see his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed rather harshly. Millions of years of wars and battles, and yet one of the coldest things he’s faced is his own anxiety. Nothing to fall back on, nobody he can turn to in hopes of reeling him back from his sea of what ifs. As a prime he felt like he had to hold his head high all the time and did not have the right to step back and let himself rest. You adjusted yourself a bit to try and sit at a better angle, but the second you raised a bit his tattered hand flew out and grabbed onto your shirt like you were going to disappear. The poor thing looked terrified as his knuckles turned white from his death grip, he needed your reassurance and was scared of you being ripped from his grasp like others from his past. Your hand rested against the back of his own, still desperately clinging to your now wet top.

“I’m not leaving, you’re okay, I promise. You know I don’t break promises.” You grazed your thumb against his hand, reassuring him that you just needed to adjust before your knee snapped in two. It took him a bit to give you any response, the only reply being a small nod before his grip loosening slowly before dropping to the edge of the bathtub, followed by the rest of his body.

“Let me wash your hair, hun. You can still hold onto me if you need to, yeah?” Grabbing a cup you had set off to the side specifically for baths, you started the water up again before getting Optimus to tip his head back. It still felt beyond foreign to him, but he couldn’t deny the warm water dancing across his scalp could put him to sleep. When you put shampoo in his hair and began to massage it into the follicles, you could watch as his eyes got heavier, his sleepiness trying to creep up on him. It was tempting to let him doze off, but with the size difference it wouldn’t be a good idea if he started slipping underwater. A light prod to his face was enough to wake him up enough to rinse and finish up with conditioner and a final spritz of water. You stood to grab a couple towels, one for his body and one for the soggy mess of hair on top of his head. The bath alone made his posture a bit less rigid, hopefully that lavender actually did it’s job. While he dried off, you jogged put the door and further down the hallway to a room with spare clothes, grabbing a mostly new t shirt and some pajama bottoms, praying that they were the right size. It felt a little strange to be grabbing a cozy outfit for someone who was tall enough to make some houses look small and someone who happened to be made out of metal, but at least you got him to take it easy-ish. Could be worse.

Upon your return you realized he was probably frozen, your evidence being the goosebumps that littered his crossed arms.

“Sorry for freezing you to death, here’s these. I’ll wait out by the door while you get dressed and when you’re done i’ll blow dry your hair, alright?” With a nod Optimus gratefully took the pajamas as you stepped out into your aforementioned position. In a sense it felt like you were keeping guard of the old man mech, the thought triggers your curiosity and you can’t help but wonder if he’s had someone take care of him like this. If his reactions have told you anything, it’s that he’s not allowed himself to be treated in such a way. Perhaps it’s a matter of not wanting pity, or maybe it’s as simple as he feels like he’s too mature to accept such treatment. It’s a shame really, the one that needs it the most is usually too selfless to allow it. A couple minutes later the door creaked open, revealing a damp, but slightly more relaxed Optimus. You stepped back into the cramped room and instructed him to sit on the toilet seat as you dug out the blow drier and plugged it into the wall outlet. He watched every movement you made with curiosity filled eyes, he always had a fascination with human objects, the way people have invented items for basically everything was so interesting to him, especially considering how primitive Earth’s creations can be.

“What is that in your hands?” He asked you, using his hands to point at the blow dryer in your hands. He’s not seen one before, and the way it resembled a gun made him a little nervous over it, especially considering flesh will suffer much more with a bullet than if he was his usual metal self.

“Oh this? It blows out hot air to help dry your hair. It’s not as scary as it looks, I promise.” As you spoke you used your freehand to lead him to sit down and got to work, flipping the switch that caused the simple device to do what you said. The sudden sound startled him a little at first but with reassurance he calmed enough to let you do your thing, his eyes closing while he absorbed the peace around him. Optimus was still apprehensive to letting you tend to him, but the longer time passed the more he felt his walls chipping away, reluctantly letting his guard down to you. Partway you grabbed a plain comb to send through the synthetic hairs that rested atop his head, the sensation was yet another new one considering his holoform was mainly used as a disguise, not a tool for self care (or in this case care from a trusted individual). It was a nice change of touch, if that made sense. The sensation was a lot more enjoyable compared to battling or trying to track down energon to refuel the already exhausted team. Unfortunately, due to his short hair the moment didn’t last near as long as he wanted or deserved, but at the very least he wasn’t damp anymore. Between the heat from the blow drier and what’s left of the steam from the bath, he felt so cozy and weightless, almost as if the water washed the weight from his tender shoulders. With a click, the air stopped blowing on his scalp and a gentle tap on his shoulder made his eyes open up again.

“Come on, I’m making you watch a movie. Don’t worry, I picked an animated one so it’s nothing too intense.” Despite your order, your tone stayed soft and gentle as you spoke, making sure not to jolt him from his little moment of peace. As you put your tools away Optimus stood and ran a hand through his hair, taking in just how soft it became from something as simple as wind. Being made of metal most of the time didn’t allow him to have such moments, to a human this would be such a normal everyday thing but for him it was a welcomed break. Being able to be over all softer and vulnerable after being alert for Primus knows how long, it was soothing after the first anxieties fizzled away. You took his hand and led him back to the main area of the base, dragging him up the steps and to the slightly worn down couch. A small tv, fit with the kid’s gaming console and various movie and game cases scattered about. By the looks of it, the team has already escorted their human companions home while Ratchet lingered in the background, typing away at his computer as per usual. It was abnormally quiet considering the hubbub that filled the room earlier, but the lack of music blasting or prepubescent voices squeaking their way into everyone’s ears (or audials) wasn’t unwelcome. You led Optimus to sit down before you crouched in front of the tv, popping in your choice of entertainment. Most have already been watched so you made sure to avoid anything overly angsty or gut wrenching, from what you know the prime doesn’t sit down and watch these, hopefully you can get him into something besides recon. Everything was up and ready to go as you made you’re self comfortable next to a rather stiff holoform. His hands were awkwardly tapping against his thighs as his back was straightened, clearly unsure of what to do or even where to look. Has he ever taken the time to actually wind down…?

“You’re stiff as a board, here, get comfy.” A little maneuvering later you managed to get him to lay down with his head in your lap, though the lower part of his legs ended up dangling over the arm rest due to his sheer height. His body was still fairly rigid but, it’s an improvement at the very least. A blanket rested on the back of the couch, it was a thin but fuzzy one that June brought over in case the you or the kids got cold, it’s coming in handy right about now. You draped it over his body and your legs the best you could, it was a bit difficult considering the size difference between you two, but you managed the best you could. After a couple button presses and a huff from Ratchet due to you asking him to turn off the light, the movie began.

The screen displayed whimsical colors as exciting music erupted from the speakers, immediately capturing the prime’s attention. You could see vibrant hues dance along his cheeks and nearly child like wonder swirl in his eyes, the way he processed every sentence and action was endearing, especially considering you’re doing something as small as watching a movie. You could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he clung to every word and movement of the characters, the sight of such a strong bot finally getting a more than well deserved break was heartwarming.

Part way through the movie your hand drifted into his hair, immediately raking your fingers through his soft locks. There was the slightest, almost undetectable, tensing in his body before he eased into the touch, even trying to cuddle closer to the best of his abilities. You could feel how he sunk into you even more as he watched the screen, eventually letting a yawn slip from his mouth. He fought to stay awake though, hellbent on seeing how the main character beats the antagonist and resolves the main issue at hand. Optimus was much more exhausted than he let on, even he didn’t realize just how tired he was. By now he’s twisted to lay on his side and his upper body was layered on top of your abdomen, arm wrapped somewhat around your hip with his head laying on your stomach. Eventually his eyelids grew too heavy and drifted closed, his fleshy frame softened ever so slightly as sleep overcame the poor mech. Your hand still danced around his hair, mindlessly playing with the strands as a similar fatigue settled its way deep into your bones. The ending of the movie will remain unknown (to Optimus at the very least) as you both dozed off, getting some well deserved rest.

————————————

sorry this took me ages!!! between surgery, mental health stuff, and being exhausted every day it’s been in the works for a lot longer than i intended!!!!

[empressofthesunwriter]

Kill La Hero: 19

In the lottery of Quirk’s Michi got on really special and annoying one. A living, sarcastic ribbon named Ares, who puts her into superpowered revealing outfits. But this won't stop the girl from fulfilling her dream of being a hero! Just watch her!

(But not too closely please!)

MHA MEETS KILL LA KILL!

Chapter 19: The Startlinie

Two days after the Sports Festival it was time to return back to normalcy aka. School!

Michi and Izuku rode the full train to school, both pretending that they weren't turned on by being so close to the other.

Since Michi was taller than him her breasts were at the perfect height to Izuku's head and thanks to the rattling of the train, his face fell quite often in it.

This was followed up by a blushing red and hidden nosebleed apology from the boy, while the girl repeated it was not his fault and it was okay.

More than okay.

"As long it's you Izuku, I don't mind!", told Michi, which didn't help Izuku's boner at all.

His head slammed into the gutter, which made him rattle like a teakettle, as Michi herself rubbed her legs since she was also aroused.

They still hadn't talked about it.

About the moment at the Sports Festival when Izuku proclaimed he wanted to stay forever on Michi's side.

It just heightens the tension between them.

After a few minutes and other collisions, Michi has enough.

She wraps her arm around Izuku's waist to stable him.

"Michi-Kun what?"

"It's better this way, you bouncing all few seconds against my breasts hurts after a while.", she explained.

Yeah, her pussy was on fire!

He blicked with his pretty eyes before he wrapped his arm around Michi's waist.

Okay, she didn't expect this.

"Izu-Chan?"

The boy blushed, yet he said without stuttering: "So we can hold each other and don't fall. Also, we cuddle often enough, it's just like that, right?"

Stupified Michi nodded.

Well, if he thought so then...!

She laid her head over his and breathed in his sandalwood and jasmine smell.

Now Izuku blushed, yet he placed his head better under her chin and started to fiddle with his phone.

Just pretending this was normal and not that he wanted to go on his knees and beg Michi to be his girlfriend.

And do other things.

No, sir, no!

That's when a man talked to them: "Excuse me excuse me! You are Massaro from the hero course, first place! Congratulations! Also to you too Midorya, good job at the sports festival!"

The two got formally bombarded with congratulations.

"You were in the top eight, right?"

"Ah, I can't believe the winner is riding our train!"

"You were so cool!"

"I loved your suit change, it's so much prettier!"

"He's smaller than I expected."

"She is even taller!"

"He reminds me of when I was young."

"I wish I had so much talent like her when I was her age, I would be a Pro-Hero now!"

"Yeah, it's like he's trying really hard."

"You completely demolished anyone, girl!"

"Aww, look how cute the two are!"

"Are you a couple?"

"Do your best, heroes!"

Izuku and Michi chorused together that they would.

Then it got even crazier as people wanted Michi's autograph.

It would be a lie if the girl said she didn't feel pride in it.

Finally, they reached their station and said goodbye to the people.

Together they walked the last meters to U.A.

"It's only morning, but I'm already tired.", signed Izuku.

Since it was now raining they both had their umbrellas out.

The rain also helped to cool down their crazy hormones.

"Well no wonder.", began Michi. "You broke nearly your whole body to save Shoto-San."

A record formally scratched in Izuku's head.

Shoto-San?

Since when did Michi call Shoto, Shoto-San?!

What did he miss?

That's when they heard Tenya's voice: "Good morning, Izuku and Michi!"

"Tenya? Wearing a p-poncho and rain boots?", wonder Izuku.

Michi just deadpannend.

Somehow it fit Tenya.

"Why are you guys walking so slowly? You're going to be late!", chasted them Tenya and overtook them.

The Not-Couple raced after him.

"Late? Tenya we still have five minutes left before the bell!", reminds Michi.

"U.A. students should always arrive ten minutes early!"

Other than in Middle School, Michi and Izuku didn't have their lockers beside each other, so she had to momentarily leave the boys before the three joined up again to enter their classroom.

When they entered the classroom and got to their seats they heard how their friends and classmates talked about how they were also recognized on their way to school and how cool it was.

"Morning.", greeted Aizawa-Sensei as he entered the classroom.

Like the good students they were they greeted back.

Tsu added how their teacher didn't have his bandage anymore and how happy she was for him.

"The old lady went overboard with her treatment.", said Aizawa-Sensei bored. "More importantly, we're having a special hero informatics class today."

A lot started to panic.

What would it be?

A quiz?

But what about?

"Code names. You'll be coming up with hero names."

The whole class celebrate this.

Finally something cool!

Aizawa-Sensei activated his quirk. 

His eyes turned red, scaring his students back into their seats.

"This is related to the pro hero draft picks I mentioned the other day. The drafts begin in earnest in the second and third years, after students have gained experience and can become immediate assets to the pros. In other words, for them to extend offers to first-years like you shows that they are interested in your future potential. These offers are often cancelled if that interest dies down by graduation."

"Adults are so selfish!", grumbled Mineta.

"So we'll have to prove ourselves once we get picked, huh?", asked Hagakure their teacher.

"That's right. And here are the totals for those with offers."

Aizawa-Sensei clicked a button on a remote and on the blackboard appeared the number of offers.

Michi, Shoto and Bakugo had offers over the 3000 line, while some got like 360 and the lowest was 14.

"In other years, it's been more spread out, but all eyes were on these three this year."

"Gah, there's such a big difference!", bemoan Denki.

"Those pros don't know a good thing when they see one!", huffed Aoyama.

Meanwhile, Momo congratulated Shoto on his amazing offers, while he just said it was surely because of his father.

Ochaco shook Tenya before her with tears in her eyes since she had also some offers.

"Over 5000 offers, Michi got the jackpot!", mussed Mina.

"What jackpot?", said Michi with a dark cloud over her head. "I mean, yeah it's cool that so many Pro-Heroes want me and Ares, but it just makes it more difficult to find the right Pro-Hero to learn from."

"Well, if you say it like this...", agreed Mina.

"Midoriya, you didn't get any!", told Mineta, like Izuku didn't see it himself. "They're scared of you 'cause of the crazy way you were fighting."

Aizawa-Sensei spoke again: "Keeping these results in mind, whether or not anyone asked for you, you will all be participating in internships with pros."

"Internships?", repeat Izuku surprised.

"Yeah. At USJ, you already got to experience combat with real villains, but it will still be meaningful training for you to see pros at work firsthand."

"That's why the codenames!", said Michi. "Any hero needs his own unique name!"

"Things are suddenly getting a lot more fun!", agreed Ochaco.

"Well, those hero names are still temporary, but if you're not serious about it-"

"You'll have hell to pay later!", interrupted him Midnight. She walked into the classroom with swaying hips and confidence. "Because a lot of hero names used by students become recognized by society, and they end up becoming professional hero names!"

"Well, that's how it is. So Midnight will be making sure your names are okay. I can't do stuff like that.", declared their teacher and got his sleeping bag out. " When you give yourself a name, you get a more concrete image of what you want to be like in the future, and you can get closer to it. This is what it means when they say, "Names and natures do often agree. Like "All Might," for example."

Sturdy paper was handed out to the teenager.

Michi stared at her paper and felt how Ares was also awake for this.

"Are we going with the one we thought about?", he whispered to her.

The girl nodded.

They had decided on her hero name a long time ago, so she wrote it beautifully down.

After a few minutes, Aizawa-Sensei had fallen asleep, Midnight called into the class to present their names starting with those who were ready.

Some panicked, others got excited.

The first who got up to the front was Aoyama.

"Here I go "Shining Hero: 'I can not stop twinkling'"! Which means, you can't stop my sparkles!"

It's a sentence! thought most of the class in disbelief.

"It'll be easier to use if you take out the "I" and shorten the "can not" to "can't.", advised Midnight.

"You're right, mademoiselle."

Nearly anyone shouted: "It's okay?"

"Anyway, choose one language and stick to it!", added Michi.

"Then, I'll go next.", sang Mina happily. "Hero name, "Alien Queen"!"

"Are you trying for the thing with acidic blood? I wouldn't if I were you!", shouted Midnight.

Defeated Mina got back to her seat.

Idiot! Since the first ones were weird, it feels like we're supposed to make them funny now! 

Then Tsu raised her hand and asked if she could go.

"I've had this in mind ever since I was in elementary school. "Rainy Season Hero: Froppy""

"That's so cute! It seems friendly.", praised Midnight. "I like it! It's a great example of a name that everyone will love! "

The class agreed full-heartedly and chorsed loud Froppy!

Then it was Kirishima's turn who pay homage to the Chivalrous Hero: Crimson Riot.

His name is Red Roit.

Kyoka called herself the: "Hearing Hero: Earphone Jack!

Shoji chooses "Tentacle Hero: Tentacole".

Sero was simple and nice: Taping Hero: Cellophane.

Ojiro took Martial Arts Hero: Tailman.

Then Michi stepped forward.

"That's a name Ares and I brainstormed. The Warrior Hero: Atheres. A mix between Athena, the Goddes of War and Ares, the God of War. It also shows how only when Ares and I are together are we strong."

"What a nice-sounding name and meaning behind it! Good job, Michi and Ares!", praised Midnight.

Then it got fast after Michi.

Pinky was Mina.

Denki took Chargebolt.

Hagakure could only be Invisible Girl.

Momo came up with Creati.

And Shoto...with Shoto?

Erm, what?

But it was okay.

Tokoyami named hismelf after Tsukuyomi.

The little perv Mineta named himself Grape Juice.

The sweet Koji had chosen Anima.

And then it was Bakugo's turn.

"King Explosion Murder.", he yelled into the class.

All stared at him.

"You probably shouldn't use something like that.", advised Midnight.

"Why not?!"

"You should be "Explosion Boy"!", called Kirishima with a smirk.

The two boys squabbled, while Ochaco presented her name: Uravity.

"Sounds stylish!", mussed Midnight. "Choosing hero names is going more smoothly than I thought it would! All that's left is Bakugo, who needs to rethink his, and Iida. And Midoriya, right?"

Strangely Tenya took also his first name.

Michi had a bad feeling about this.

She didn't know why, but the look in her friend's eyes made her worry.

"Midoriya, are you ready?", asked Midnight.

"Y-Yes! It's gotta be this."

All stared at the name he wrote.

Deku?

Really?

Only Michi and Ochaco looked at each other and pointed at the other.

"Midoriya? Are you really okay with that?", wondered Denki.

"You might be called that forever, you know.", warned Kirishima.

"Yeah. I didn't like this name until now. But someone changed the meaning of it and someone important to me gave it their blessing, and that had a huge impact on me. It made me really happy. This is my hero's name! "

Ochaco held a paper up so Michi could only see it: Someone important gave their blessing?! If it weren't for you he wouldn't take my silly nickname as hero name. IzuChi is sailing!

Michi just made a face and held her own paper up: Don't give us a shipname, please! We are not an Anime!

Yeah, it's more of a fanfic.

What?

What?

Meanwhile, Bakugo got to the front to show his second idea for his hero's name.

"Lord Explosion Murder!"

"No, that's still no good.", said Midnight done.

Since it was impossible that Bakugo would find a name today which was suitable they continued on.

Aizawa-Sensei got out of his sleeping bag and explained: "Now that everyone's decided on their hero names, we'll go back to talking about the internships. They will last for a week. As for where you'll have them, those who had offers from pros will be given your own lists, so you can choose from those yourself. Those who didn't have offers will choose from among forty agencies around the country that will be accepting our interns. They all work in different places and have different specialities."

"For example, Thirteen would be focused on rescues from accidents and disasters more than fighting villains.", gave Midnight an example.

They hand out the offers to the students.

"Think carefully before you choose."

"Yes, sir!"

"Turn in your choices before the weekend."

"We've only got two days?! "

"Make your decision efficiently. Dismissed."

/*/

It was now Lunch Time and the teens could take a better look at their offers.

Michi's left eye twitched as she saw all the names.

How the heck should she choose from?!

"Okay, I will mark the Pro Hero I like and the Pro-Hero I could learn from.", she mumbled to herself and Ares.

"Can I participate too?", asked the ribbon.

"Sure, you will be the blue marker."

She took out three markers and the two began to highlight the Pro-Heros in the colours of the category they had decided on earlier.

They both were so deep in thought, that they didn't hear how the others made their own decisions.

That's when they read a Pro-Hero Name on the list, which made them both wide-eyed.

"What the?", mumbled Ares.

"What could possible HE want from us?!", wondered Michi.

This offer was fishy...but also tempting.

She marked it.

If Ares could frown he would.

"I hope you know what you do..."

"I'm just thinking and curious nothing more..."

/*/

The rainy day ended with a beautiful sunset as Izuku, Michi and Ochaco made their way towards the station.

Tenya had already left.

Izuku suspected their friend had already chosen an agency and was off to bring the document to Aizawa.

Also after All Might weird appearance, Izuku told the girls how he got a nomination.

When Ochaco left them, Izuku explained silently to Michi how this Gran Torino was on old allie of All Might and knew about One For All.

This was good maybe he could help Izuku to master the Quirk.

As they two had to part ways, Michi felt a cold breeze playing with her hair.

Shuddering she looked around but there was nothing.

"What is it whirlwind?", wanted Ares to know.

"It's strange...I have a feeling...this is the beginning of something, but of what...I'm not sure...or if it's good."

[mostthingskenobi]

CASSIAN'S RECKONING - Chapter 19: The Hologram

CHAPTER SUMMARY: We finally learn why Jyn wasn't put on leave. It is not fun.

Thank you again to dear Adela for helping me with the Spanish/Kenari 💜

READ THE FIC ON AO3

THIS IS A WHUMPY FIC W/GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS ON AO3.

——————–

CHAPTER 19: THE HOLOGRAM

The next morning as Jyn walked to the intelligence ready room her head was full of Cassian, remembering how his body felt strong and solid against hers. Even after Tarkin’s torture, he still radiated strength.

What had he whispered to her in Kenari? Not knowing was driving her a little mad, sending her heart racing every time she thought about the husky words that had growled in the back of his throat.

She realized she was smiling like an idiot and forcefully relaxed her face, suppressing the giddiness that fluttered in her chest. Jyn’s mind needed to be sharp; meetings with Draven always contained a particularly annoying kind of stress. As she approached the Intelligence sector, she rolled her shoulders back before walking in.

Jyn was surprised to find a full room. She had expected only to speak with the general, but several officers, a team of analysts, and even Mon Mothma was present. Except for the holo table’s green glow the room was dark.

“Ah, Erso, there you are,” Draven said, signaling for the group to be silent and form up around the holoprojector. “Thank you for coming.”

Jyn nodded but didn’t say anything; she was still new to an organized military and didn’t have the patience to play along with their little formalities.

“Everything that is said in this meeting is classified,” Draven spoke loudly and clearly. “Whatever is discussed here today stays here. Understood?”

The room gave their consent.

“Lieutenant,” he said, speaking directly to Jyn, “the team standing here,” he waved at the collection of people surrounding the holo table, “has been tasked with analyzing Commander Andor’s interrogation.”

Apprehension gripped her instantly. She didn’t know what she’d expected from a meeting with Draven, but this hadn’t been it.

“They’ve found some troubling information.”

The general paused but Jyn couldn’t think of a single polite response so she kept her mouth shut.

Draven soldiered on. “Did you ever have any interaction with Grand Moff Tarkin?”

“Excuse me?” she blurted out in shocked artlessness.

The entire room stared at her, waiting for an answer.

She almost wanted to laugh. What would a gutter rat like her have to do with Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin? “Of course not,” she finally said, providing a reply she thought should have been obvious.

“Did your father?”

“How would I know?” she snapped.

“You have no memories of him meeting with your father when you were a child?”

“This is absurd!” she scoffed.

“Jyn,” Mon Mothma said gently, “you’re not under suspicion. Please trust that there is a reason for these questions.”

Though she wanted to believe Mothma, Jyn also recognized she had very little recourse; refusing to answer her superiors’ questions could ultimately make her life much harder. “No,” she said, repressing her anger, “from what I personally remember, I never saw Tarkin with my father. When I was a child, I didn’t even know who Tarkin was, so if my father did have dealings with him, I didn’t know it.”

Draven looked to Mon Mothma who nodded once. He turned back to Jyn. “We have something we’d like to show you.”

Dread took hold of Jyn, tension blooming across her chest and abdomen; she fought to suppress the shaking that had started in her hands and shoulders. She knew in her gut she didn’t want to see whatever Draven had in store.

“It’s upsetting, so please prepare yourself.”

How? she thought. How do I prepare myself?

The holoprojector flared to life and a bluish hologram of Cassian appeared in the center of the table.

Jyn couldn’t keep a pitiable gasp from escaping her throat.

He hung from his wrists, bare feet hardly touching the floor. Blood ran down his face and arms while he struggled to breathe. Tarkin was at the rebel’s side, snarling into his ear, “What is the girl’s name?” Cassian could only gasp in pain. Tarkin brutally ripped the young man’s head back by his hair. “Her name. Now.”

Cassian was stretched so far back he could scarcely catch his breath. “I don’t…” His voice shook as he struggled to find the words. “I can’t…”

A death trooper stepped into the image, blocking most of Andor from view. Jyn saw the glint of an unsheathed blade in the trooper’s fist and she clasped a shaking hand over her mouth to keep in a sob. The trooper’s body hid his actions, but whatever he did made Cassian scream in a way that brought bile into Jyn’s throat.

“Tell me who the girl is,” Tarkin demanded again.

“¡No puedo!” Cassian suddenly shouted.

Surprise registered on the Grand Moff’s face. “What language is that?” he asked, turning to the IT-O interrogator droid.

“A derivative of Kenari.”

Tarkin grabbed Cassian’s jaw with his free hand and tightened his grip on the rebel’s hair with his other. “You will answer in Basic.”

A sound escaped Cassian’s throat that reminded Jyn of a whimpering puppy.

“Again,” Tarkin said to the death trooper.

“¡No!” Cassian writhed, twisting away from the blade. “¡Se llama Jyn Erso!” he choked out in a barely coherent slur. “Jyn…Jyn Erso.” His chest made a horrible wheezing sound.

Jyn squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that spilled down her cheeks.

When had she started crying?

She turned away as the hologram continued. She couldn’t watch anymore.

“Did you say Erso?” Tarkin’s voice had become intrigued. “Andor, answer me.”

Cassian only moaned.

Jyn ran from the room, bursting into the antechamber and vomiting into the nearest trashcan. She wiped her face and stumbled into the corridor gasping, moving away as fast as she could from the nightmare she’d just been forced to watch. No air reached her lungs despite how hard she heaved. She turned into a more secluded sub-corridor and pressed face-first into a corner, covering her head with her arms as her gasps finally turned into sobs. Her brain could not process what she’d just seen; instead, all the pain and fear she’d been carrying for Cassian suddenly began to suffocate her.

She had no notion of how long she stood there; her awareness was completely internal, overwhelmed by the storm swarming in her chest. Jyn had seen terrible things in her life, unthinkable things. And she’d been no stranger to the Empire’s cruelty—Wobani alone was enough evidence of their ruthlessness to last a lifetime. But seeing these realities collide in Cassian was more than she could stomach. Not because he was pure or irreproachable, but because he was so self-possessed, because he was strong and because he reached for others when they lost their grip. He found her in the crumbling temple on Jedha, guiding her to safety; he forced her to escape from Eadu when he could have easily left her behind; he appeared at the top of the citadel on Scarif even though he was so injured he could barely walk. Cassian always came back for her.

I let him down, she railed against herself. I wasn’t there when he needed me.

The thought of the Empire torturing him simply to learn her name made Jyn want to vomit again.

Her strength drained away, her nails digging into the wall to keep her upright, when she heard a confused voice.

“Jyn?”

Cassian stood a few paces behind her.

She tried to speak but a strange croak came out instead of words; she could do nothing but tremble and gulp for air.

He instantly closed the distance between them, cupping her cheek and stooping down. “What’s happened?” he asked, his eyes full of worry.

She was too ashamed to meet his gaze. Her body shuddered as tears continued to stream down her face. Her brain struggled to reconcile the broken man in the hologram with the strong friend who stood before her.

Cassian’s voice softened. “Jyn?” He lifted her chin; when their eyes met, she began to cry harder. She was clearly too upset to speak so he tucked her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ve got you,” he whispered—their secret comfort language.

She pressed her palms flat against his chest, desperate to feel him solidly under her hands as she breathed against his throat. “You’re OK,” she sniffled, trying to root herself in his flesh and blood.

He was not exactly certain what she meant, but his keen instincts gave him a pretty good idea. “I am,” he reassured her.

“Lieutenant?”

Jyn didn’t dare move. One of Draven’s aides stood nearby but she was too embarrassed to face him. “What is it?” she asked, her head still tucked into Cassian’s chest.

His voice was apologetic. “General Draven asks you to please return to the ready room.”

“Tell him I’m coming.” She tried to sound calmer than she felt. “I just need another moment.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” The man turned and retreated up the corridor.

Cassian’s brain worked fast, connecting succedent data. “You already had your meeting with Draven?”

Jyn wrapped her fists into his jacket and held tight, fighting to get herself under control. “Technically, I’m still having it.”

He studied her, resting his lips on the top of her head—she smelled like warm amber and a rare flower, and Cassian was instantly reminded of falling asleep in her pillow last night.

“They showed you something,” he said quietly, “didn’t they?”

After a long pause she nodded.

“Something about you?”

When she nodded again, she felt Cassian’s chest contract under her hands.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was barely more than a whisper.

She finally forced herself to look him in the eye. His expression was full of guilt and she couldn’t stand it. “Don’t apologize to me,” she said firmly. “You did nothing wrong.” She hugged him tightly, pressing herself against his chest again, and he responded in kind, his arms encompassing her completely.

“I’m OK,” she whispered. “I’m OK.”

Cassian could tell Jyn was trying to convince herself.

“We’re OK.”

The PA system squawked and made them both jump. “Lieutenant Erso, please return to the ready room.”

“Wow,” Cassian snorted, “they really want you back.”

“Draven is a professional idiot,” Jyn muttered, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She’d finally calmed and was trying to find a way of apologizing to Cassian.

He wanted to ask her questions, to find out exactly what upset her so deeply, but he couldn’t retrigger her, not when she clearly needed to command her emotions and get back to work. Instead, he placed his hand gently on her cheek before brushing some hair out of her eyelashes. “Come find me later.”

His touch soothed her further. She nodded her agreement. “As soon as I can get away.”

“You better go before they get mad.”

“They’re always mad,” Jyn scoffed as she let go of him.

He watched her disappear around the corner, flooded with a mix of emotions he found unsettling.

——————–

By the time Jyn returned to the ready room she had managed to slam her emotions into submission. She stared at Draven with hard eyes.

“I’m sorry to spring that on you,” the general said with uncharacteristically blatant sympathy.

“Why show me at all?”

“We thought it important you see with your own eyes that you’ve been compromised.”

“That’s a bit of an extreme take, don’t you think? Being an Erso has always had its risks. The Empire knowing my name doesn’t change anything. I can still do my job.”

“You’re right, to an extent.” His chin jutted up, evaluating her reactions. “I wasn’t sure you’d take our word for it if we simply told you. You’re not exactly trusting.”

“You’re not exactly truthful.”

The general flashed a wry smile. “Point taken.” He instantly returned to business. “We showed you the hologram for a reason. I have an assignment for you. You’re not going to like it but you’re going to do it anyway.”

Why is he always such a bastard?

“I want you to analyze Andor’s interrogation. We showed you this small segment of footage firstly so it wouldn’t catch you off guard while you work, and secondly to make you aware of Tarkin’s fixation with you.”

Jyn stared at him for a long while, disgusted beyond words. “No,” she finally said. “I won’t do it.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

Mon Mothma waved a lithe hand at Draven to silence him. “It’s a horrible thing to ask of you,” she said gently, looking directly into Jyn’s eyes. “I know Cassian is your… friend. But that friendship also gives you insight the rest of us do not have. You can read his body language, understand small or private references; you might spot something the rest of us have missed.”

“I can’t,” Jyn replied, shaking her head and even taking a step back. “It feels like a betrayal of trust.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Draven offered. “You cannot discuss your analysis with Andor until we’ve reviewed it, but you don’t have to keep the nature of your assignment a secret from him.”

“Oh, really?” Jyn mocked. “And how is that conversation supposed to go?”

“You can check your sarcasm at the door, Erso,” Draven said, finally having enough of her attitude. “You’re an officer in the Rebel Alliance and these are your orders.”

“I don’t want to watch this,” she blurted out, unable to hide the desperation in her voice.

“No one wants to watch this,” he said sharply, silencing her. “Every person in this room has a connection with Andor. He’s a friend, a colleague, a team member. He’s a good man, and every last one of us hates this recording.”

Jyn didn’t doubt Draven’s sincerity.

“Your insights could help protect the Rebellion,” Mothma said. “There’s always a chance that a person under duress may inadvertently divulge information. We would like you to keep an eye out for anything potentially compromising, even if it’s small. No detail left unturned.”

“Plus,” Draven continued, “we would like your opinion on Tarkin’s fascination with you.”

“Isn’t it because my name is Erso?”

“Tarkin didn’t know your name until Andor revealed it. You’ll see in the recordings that he’s repeatedly hounded about your identity.”

Jyn’s brow pulled together. She really didn’t care about Tarkin; her real worry was what Cassian would think if he knew she was watching the most vulnerable moments of his life. “I don’t want this assignment,” she tried again to refuse. “You have far more qualified analysts right here.”

Draven reached the end of his compassion. “Either you do your job or we’re done. We won’t bother wasting resources by throwing you in the brig. I’ll kick you off this ship and you’ll never come back. Do we understand each other?”

Jyn knew that he really meant he’d separated her from Cassian and the rest of Rogue One. For a moment she considered calling the general’s bluff, but, in all honesty, she figured Draven would actually make good on his threat. She quickly decided disobeying orders wasn’t worth the risk of losing her found family.

“There’s a considerable amount of footage for you work through.” He turned to an aide. “Get her set up as soon as we’re done here.”

“You’re making me start straight away?” Jyn asked in disbelief. This day had not remotely gone how she’d hoped.

“The sooner you start, the sooner you finish. It’s going to take you days, so get going.”

She stared daggers at him but held her tongue. Jyn didn’t hate Draven; she knew he was doing his best in a nearly impossible job. But sometimes she really wanted to punch him in the face.

“That’ll be all,” he said with finality.

Draven’s aide came forward and led Jyn out of the room.

——————–

END NOTES

NEXT CHAPTER IS CALLED “THE DIVIDE” - How will things be with Rogue One now that Jyn has started her horrible assignment?

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READ CHAPTER 1 “The Razor”

READ CHAPTER 2 “The Scythe”

READ CHAPTER 3 “The Cold”

READ CHAPTER 4 “The Expendable”

READ CHAPTER 5 “The Truth”

READ CHAPTER 6 “The Detritus”

READ CHAPTER 7 “The Salt”

READ CHAPTER 8 “The Power”

READ CHAPTER 9 “The Betrayal”

REACH CHAPTER 10 “The Ruse”

READ CHAPTER 11 “The Reprieve”

READ CHAPTER 12 “The Ghosts”

READ CHAPTER 13 “The Redemption”

READ CHAPTER 14 “The Spoils”

READ CHAPTER 15 “The Interrogation”

READ CHAPTER 16 “The Rogues”

READ CHAPTER 17 “The Absolution”

READ CHAPTER 18 “The Reach”

READ CHAPTER 19 "The Hologram"

READ CHAPTER 20 “The Divide”

READ CHAPTER 21 “The Cost”

READ CHAPTER 22 “The Fallout”

READ CHAPTER 23 “The Wounds”

READ CHAPTER 24 “The Hand”

READ CHAPTER 25 “The Heart”

READ CHAPTER 26 “The Beginning”