#like everyone goes ‘I know christmas can be hard for some people’ which is fine and good and true

[identitty-dickruption]

having your trauma anniversary on a relatively major holiday kind of sucks because it all makes it completely inescapable. the shops have already started to stock themed decorations and such and it feels like a personal attack. just constant reminders that It’s Coming Up and there’s nothing I can do about it

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas - Day 11

Prompt (by @12-days-of-ficmas): someone answered my daughter’s ‘dear santa’ letter and it’s actually super sweet how kind they’re being

Word Count: 3.1K

Story Description: It's hard being a single mom, especially during Christmas when all you wanna do is give your child a day to remember. But Ellie, (Y/N)'s daughter writes a letter for Santa that somehow falls into the hands of an Avenger.

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Female!SingleMom!Reader

A/N: Back to not being caught up, but life happens 😅🫣 anywho, Merry Christmas everyone!! Thank you for following along with my stories, it truly has made my year 💖💖

Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • Business

If you’d like to be tagged in 12 days of ficmas, let me know in the comments. 

For any other story: click here

Here’s the 12 days of Ficmas schedule: click me

<-Previous | Next ->

Dear Santa

Christmas was a hard time for many people. (Y/N) being one of them.

Though she loved her daughter more than anything in the world, it was tough being a single mother. During the holiday of giving there were certain expectations to provide your child with a day to remember. And although she did the best she could every year, she always felt like it wasn’t enough.

It was hard being by herself and doing everything in her power to provide for her daughter. She worked as much as she could without missing important moments with her daughter, Ellie. It was hard but she had managed it for six years already.

“Alright, dude, ready to make your list for Santa?” (Y/N) asked her daughter, sitting down next to her on the floor. “We can make it really pretty.”

“But I don’t want you to see this one, mommy,” the girl said covering the paper. “This one goes straight to the North Pole.”

“Okay, baby. I won’t peek.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, dude,” she laughed. “I promise I won’t look at this one. But I need to at least know what you’ll be asking for Christmas; cause I have to consult with Santa what the budget is.”

“I know, mommy,” Ellie smiled.  “Now, go! I gotta finish this.”

“Geez, you’re pushy today. But, fine. I’ll go to the kitchen and bake some brownies just for me, then.”

“That’s not fair! You have to share.”

“I’ll consider it,” she laughed. “Finish your letters and then we’ll talk.”

(Y/N) left her daughter for the kitchen, watching how she lost herself writing. She uncapped markers and pens, sharpened colored pencils, and brought out the crayons. She did everything to make this the best letter to Santa she had ever written.

Curiosity peaked in the woman as her daughter put her whole energy into the piece of paper in front of her. But she had promised the girl that the letter would remain between Ellie and Santa, and she meant to keep that promise. It would simply get lost in the sea of letters to the North Pole that would never reach the imaginary old man dressed in red.

The next morning, before dropping the girl off at school, they stopped at a blue mailbox. The little girl excitedly dropped both letters into the receptacle and went on with their day, thinking nothing would come out of the secret letter.

At least she had been able to see the one with her list. A couple of dolls, a couple of cars, a science kit, and other things (Y/N) could simply not afford yet. She would work as much overtime as she could at her job and hoped the Christmas bonus at the office would be enough to make rent and have left over for the presents.

A week later – after completely forgetting about the secret letter – (Y/N) was looking at her mail when a bright red envelope caught her attention. The letter was embossed in gold and the penmanship seemed expensive. Nothing she would receive from any of her friends or her family.

It was addressed to her and her daughter, which struck her as odd. Especially since there was no return address on the letter. Taking a knife, she sliced the top of the envelope open, pulling out a thick cardstock invitation from inside and a smaller envelope addressed only to Ellie.

On one side, it simply read:

You are invited to the

Avengers Winter Soiree

December 24th at 7 o’clock

at Avenger’s Tower

Dress Code | Formal

On the other side, in a handwritten font:

 A town car will be around to pick you and your daughter up at 6:30 pm on the 24th

(Y/N) didn’t understand how this invitation got to her, or even why. It wasn’t like she had entered a contest or met any of the members of the team. Receiving that letter was quite a peculiarity. But Ellie seemed to know exactly why they were the recipients of the letter.

“It was Santa, mommy!” Ellie exclaimed after reading the letter that was just for her. “We’re gonna meet the Avengers! Look. Look!”

The girl waved the piece of paper around as she ran to her mother to show her the letter written with the same lettering behind the invitation. Excitement overflowed from the child as she waited for her mother to finish the card that read,

Dear Ellie, I would like to let you know that we got your letter for Santa. It seems some envelopes got mixed up in the mail, and we just so happened to get yours in our mail. But, don’t worry! We had a talk with Santa and he said it was okay for us to help him with it. That’s why you and your mom were invited to the Christmas party in the Avengers Tower. You’re gonna be able to tour places no one is allowed in, join us in the lab, and be able to spend some time with the Avengers. We truly hope you are both able to join us on that day and that you enjoy your Christmas with us! Hope to see you soon, Bruce Banner Merry Christmas!

It was a heartwarming letter and it made her eyes well up with tears. The response was kind and completely out of the blue. And it made the woman all that more curious as to what her daughter had asked Santa for.

They were both excited about the party for the rest of the week, giddy to finally meet the valued heroes of New York. When the night came, (Y/N) and Ellie got clothed in their new dresses. The woman did both of their hair, put a bit of makeup on Ellie upon her request, and did her own.

Waiting for the clock to hit six-thirty was excruciating, their excitement too high to let them sit still. They were minutes away from the most sensational night of their lives, and they still could not believe it. Luck didn’t normally change for people like them.

As soon as the clock shifted into those awaited for three numbers, a knock rang out through the small apartment. The sound made Ellie jump to her feet, her sky-blue dress bouncing as she got up. The girl pulled at her mother’s arm, beckoning for her to move faster.

With a chuckle, (Y/N) gathered her things – keys, phone, purse, and coats. She turned off the lights in the apartment, making sure everything was off and their home would be there when they came back.

“Ready to go, dude?” 

“Yes!” Ellie screamed. “Let’s go!” 

On the other side of the door, they were met with a man in an all-black suit. He had a kind smile as a perfect accessory to his outfit, a pin with the Avengers’ symbol on his lapel.

“Ms. (Y/L/N?” he asked before she confirmed with a nod. “Well, my name is Lucas Miller and I’m here to escort you to the Avengers’ Tower.” 

“I’m Ellie,” the girl chimed in.

“Hello, Ellie,” he smiled. “Are you both ready to go?”

“Yes,” they chorused.

Mother and daughter followed Lucas out of the building and into a black town car. Inside, he told them they could help themselves to any food or drink that was in the back. But they were both too nervous to take anything. It was the nicest car they had ever been in, and they had no idea what to do with themselves.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the heart and soul of New York and park right in front of the tall tower where the world’s mightiest heroes resided. Rare was the time that the duo came into the city, and each time they did they were reminded of why people gravitated so much to the place.

Especially in the wintertime, New York City was a sight to behold. In between the white blanket of snow that always rested on the pavement, the lights and decorations made the whole grandeur of the city seem even bigger. For the time being, they were lucky to call that place home.

Lucas directed them both into the building and to the last floor.

“Well, this is where I’ll leave you,” he announced. “Just stay put and someone will be out to greet you in just a second. Have fun, and Merry Christmas.” 

“Thank you, Lucas,” (Y/N) responded. “Merry Christmas.” 

The man disappeared into the elevator, out of sight until the next day when he came to take them home. After the elevator dinged, the big doors in front of them opened, and a man walked out.

(Y/N) recognized him instantly. She had seen him in the news, rarely, but she had. He had been the same man to respond to her daughter’s letter.

“Hi,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Bruce.” 

“(Y/N),” she smiled, taking his hand in hers. “Nice to meet you.” 

“And you must be Ellie,” Bruce directed himself to the girl. “We’ve all been very excited to finally meet you.”

“Can we see the labs?” the girl burst.

“Dude, manners,” (Y/N) reprimanded her daughter in whispers.

“That’s quite alright,” he chuckled. “I can tell you’re excited. So, why don’t we go on a tour of the place first?” 

The pair followed the man as he directed them through the place. Bedrooms, kitchen, training rooms, med bay, and simply any place that Ellie was simply not interested in – and she made that known many times. The girl wanted to rush through every spot that wasn’t their research lab, so all she did was peak in as Bruce talked and moved onto the next thing.

When they finally made their way to the labs, Ellie’s face lit up brighter than the city that doesn’t sleep. She stared in amazement as Bruce explained what every machine was for, the type of research he did there every day, and the things they had already accomplished with said research.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile at her daughter as she spoke to the man about things she could barely comprehend. The girl went on and on with questions the woman had no idea one could have. She was the most excited her mother had ever seen — going to museums was the second closest. It was the sort of happiness (Y/N) could give her every day.

What did surprise her was Bruce’s attentiveness to Ellie. He was patient with her, listening attentively to everything she said, and making sure she was satisfied with the answers before moving on to the next thing. When his attention wasn’t on Ellie, he would turn to (Y/N) and try to explain in simpler words what they were speaking of, making sure she felt part of the conversation.

Bruce was charming. Quiet, but very charming. There was something about him that made it easy to gravitate toward him. It did help that he was easy on the eyes, (Y/N) thought. But it was the fact that he was being so kind that made him the most attractive.

After being in the labs for over an hour, the three of them moved to where the Christmas party was in full swing. It was a small enough gathering. (Y/N) was able to point out the most known heroes quickly, some of the others were hazy but she knew their faces.

“Hey, Ellie,” Bruce said as he motioned for the kids in attendance to come closer. “Why don’t you play with the kids? These are Cooper, Lila, and Nathaniel. Guys, this is Ellie.”

Quickly, the kids ran off to play whatever it was they could, falling into a friendship as only children could. It was heartwarming how easily her daughter fit in, her happiness the only thing the mother cared for.

The man introduced the woman to the group, going around the room and making sure everyone knew who she was. (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel a mixture of intimidation and awe. She was sharing the same space with people that saved lives whilst she wasted away in an office. Yet they all seemed… normal. When they spoke to her she felt she was their peer rather than a random civilian.

After an hour of socializing in a group, Bruce and she were left by themselves as everyone carried on in their own conversations. He ordered a drink for them both as they stood at the bar, chatting with each other.

“So, I’m still wondering,” (Y/N) started as she took a sip of her glass. “Why were we picked to come here? I don’t see anyone else here that had no connection to the avengers. So, why us?”

“Well, what I told Ellie in the letter was true,” he responded staring down at his glass, too nervous to look her in the face. “Her letter did get mixed up with our mail. When I read it, I just felt the need to reach out. Have you not read it?”

“Ellie didn’t want me to read it, actually,” (Y/N) chuckled. “Said it was a secret between her and Santa. I promised her I wouldn’t read it, so I didn’t. And, somehow, now we’re sharing a space with the people that have saved the world a couple of times now. So, it had to be a hell of a letter.”

“Would you like to read it?” Bruce finally looked into her eyes, staring at the glimmer that was in them.

She was an attractive woman, that he could admit. But what intimidated him was her kindness. Ellie had made sure to paint her mother in a beautiful light in her letter. And though, mostly, he invited them to the party to fulfill Ellie’s wish, he also wanted to meet the mother of such a bright girl.

“I-I shouldn’t,” she stammered. “I promised her I wouldn’t. But you could tell me the gist of it. That’s a loophole, right?”

“Mostly she spoke about you. She said she had the most kind, hardworking, loving mother in the world,” he started as a dark red hue washed over her. “Ellie wrote that she knew how hard you tried to give her the best life you could. That being by yourself was hard, but you never put that on her – always trying to appear strong so she doesn’t know when you’re struggling. But she does.

She sees the nights you don’t sleep, the things you renounce for yourself so you can give to her. So, she asked for a Christmas when you didn’t have to stress over that. She said she wanted at least one day where you could feel as special as you made her.

And she said she really wanted to see the labs in the tower one day and learn about everything we – or rather I – did here. You have a very loving and bright kid, (Y/N). You should be proud.”

“Oh, I am,” she said as she wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes. (Y/N) took Bruce’s hand in hers. “Thank you for this, Bruce, truly. It’s been hard being just the two of us, but somehow we’ve made it work.”

“To be perfectly transparent, her letter made me want to meet you. It was so genuine that I couldn’t help but be curious as to who had raised such a smart young girl.”

“Are you saying you had ulterior motives, Mr. Banner?” she teased. “That you didn’t do this out of the pure kindness of your heart?”

“W-well, y-you know,” he struggled to speak. Though he had started the flirting, he had never thought she would reciprocate.

“I’m only teasing, Bruce. I am actually glad I got to meet you,” she smiled. “If I am being perfectly honest, you are my favorite Avenger.” 

A look was exchanged between them, one that made everyone stare at them. It was no secret that Bruce lacked in the socializing department, but he had been very adamant to invite this seemingly random woman to their Christmas party.  

“Kiss her!” Thor yelled out, faking a cough.

 “Make a move, Banner!” Steve joined in.” 

“If you won’t,” Tony said passing behind them. “I will.” 

“Stop it, guys,” Natasha chimed in. “You know he’s a slow burner.” 

As everyone chuckled, Bruce guided (Y/N) out onto the balcony. As soon as the cold air hit them, he took off his blazer, draping it over her shoulders to cover her from the weather. Their hands brushed for a split second, and they felt it. A spark. Unlike when she had laid a comforting hand on him when he told her about the content of her daughter’s letter, this was purely done randomly.

“So, your favorite avenger?” Bruce smiled, breaking the silence. “I think you mean the Hulk is your favorite.”

“Nope. Dr. Bruce Banner is,” (Y/N) corrected, wearing the same teasing smile he did. “Ellie and I are fans of what happens behind the scenes rather than the fights. It takes a different kind of strength.”

“Well, I’m always happy to meet my fans,” he chuckled. “Although, I think you’re hurting the big guy’s pride.”

“Thankfully, I’m not interested in the big guy. But I am interested in a 5’9,” brown-haired, brown-eyed man with a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics.”

“You’ve really done your research,” he smiled proudly.

“I told you, me and my daughter are big fans of yours.”

He took a second to respond, staring deeply into her (Y/E/C) eyes, before he asked, “Would you like to be my dare to our New Year’s Party?” he blurted. “Obviously with Ellie, of course.”

“Only if you take me on a date without Ellie.”

“I think I could swing that,” he chuckled.

(Y/N) couldn’t wait any longer and stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on Bruce’s lips. After getting over being startled, he kissed back. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her closer to him. She could feel his warmth even in this weather and she wanted more.

“What was that for?” he asked pulling away out of breath.

“Well, didn’t have time to get you a Christmas present as a thanks for this invitation,” she grinned. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“As far as I know, this is the best Christmas present I’ve gotten.”

Taglist: @avis15@honeylovemoon@wonieeee@supernaturalwriter@beckiej0073-blog @skyesthebomb @cecehensonn @krazyk99 @klf1999 @ilikepunsbeth @magimtz23 @adaydreamaway08 @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @thatgirljayy @laylaskywalker @winter-soldier-101 @zheezs14 @clementinesjourney @DyslexicCatterpillar @cevans-winchester @sirenheadenby @sunsetcurvej @sapnapsbandana @esposadomd @this-is-a-bad-idea @nocturnalherb16 @blueshoelaces @then-worship-at-my-altar​ @six-call @nyenye​ @lunaOoO @captainrogers-19 @fandomonetwo @fruitylilfuck @a-slut-for-Loki-Bucky

[accidental-spice]

OC Mundane Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @musewrangler !!

Rules: Pick an oc you'd like to talk about and answer the questions for them! Then tag ten people, or as many as you can. 'Underdeveloped character I adopted' is fine, too! Absolutely no pressure to play, though.

Also, if some of it can't apply to your ocs, just answer what would be the answer - like if they're in a historical setting, they likely can't watch movies, but what is a movie they'd like?

(Also, most people have many ocs, so feel free to retag people and answer as many times as you get tagged! Or get really wild and just answer for as many ocs as you'd like! :D)

Questions:

What is their favorite movie? I'm gonna answer this one for my OCs Jay and Leila, for they are a package deal. Jay's favorite movie is The Mummy (1999)! Leila accuses him of having a crush on Evie, which he staunchly denies, like a liar. He also names his ship The Wrong Side of The River, so he can say he's on the wrong side of the river (if ya know, ya know). I think Leila's favorite might be The Princess Diaries, but she has a hard time picking a favorite! Joe reminds her of Jay

What is their favorite season? Jay loves winter. He likes cold weather, and the snow!! Plus, it brings back good memories of snowball fights with his sister and parents. Leila prefers summer, as she has very low cold tolerance. Plus, she loves swimming

What do they find annoying? *snorts* so much. Jay finds a LOT annoying, especially... people. His bottom three, so to speak, are humidity, people who waste his time, and his mom's brother. Leila would immediately answer Jay. But she'd be mostly joking. Mostly

How would they like to spend their Christmas or equivalent holiday? Jay likes to spend the time with his sister and parents, and his cousins. Later in life, Leila joins that circle, too. She, however, will be going to several parties. And probably dragging Jay with to at least one. She LOVES Secret Santa and White Elephant, and likes to go out and admire everyone's Christmas lights!!

Do they play an instrument? If so, what? How good are they at it? Jay does not. He likes music, though! Leila might have rudimentary piano or harmonica skills, though! Emphasis on rudimentary, though

What's their favorite meal to eat? Jay likes mac and cheese! The baked homemade kind, with bacon pieces in it. His dad made it special, and Leila learns how while they work together, and makes it for him! Leila's favorite food probably varies wildly depending on the day/month/season/mood she's in. But she LOVES a good BLT, or any kind of sandwich. She likes to put the most random ingredients together, which Jay thinks is madness, though he reluctantly admits they're usually pretty good. Usually

Do they have a favorite video game or board game? Mmmm, I think Jay would enjoy Splendor. It's big on strategy, which he'd like. And he'd definitely love Mafia/One Night/Resistance/Coup. Spy games like that! Leila would also love the spy type games, but she'd also LOVE Galaga!!

Do they celebrate their birthday? Jay wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but the women in his life will NEVER let him get away with that. His sister, Ro, will ALWAYS bake him something and show up with it, no matter where in the galaxy he's at, and Leila would make him his favorite meal, let him choose what they watch without arguing with him over it for 15 minutes, and get him some small present! She, on the other hand, REFUSES to work on her birthday, and buys herself at least one present. Jay's not the best at gift getting, but he'd make an effort for her

What's their bedtime routine? Jay's just gonna brush his teeth, and get in bed. Then he'll probably read for a few minutes before he goes to sleep, either work stuff or whatever book he's currently reading. Leila will brush her teeth, wash her face, and then probably has some skin care regime I would not know the details of. Then, approximately five minutes after they've both gone to bed, Leila will message Jay some random weird question like, are lobsters mermaids for crabs, and Jay will respond with GO TO SLEEP LEILA. Once they're married, she's finally able to ask them in real time, and he's finally able to throw a pillow at her

What's an OC (or canon character) they like to spend time around? What do they tend to do together? I mean, there's obviously each other! And what DON'T they do together? They're travelling the galaxy on a ship together, fighting the Empire, so they work together a lot, plan for missions. They'll cook together, eat together, and watch shows together when they can. And of course, they do missions together. This usually involves a lot of Leila talking over earpieces and Jay being like, Leila. We are currently incognito, I cannot talk to you right now

Tagging @laughingphoenixleader @jessicas-pi @flickeringflame216 @mrgartist @singswan-springswan @kanerallels @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord @misscrazyfangirl321 @christian-latte-anon @ceterisparibus116

[lululawrence]

Hi! May I ask why you choose to send cards to people you don't even know? Do you pay for everything yourself?

lolll ya know, valid question. the first year i did it, i offered christmas cards only to my mutuals and they weren't homemade. i just bought some cute ones from target and mailed them off to the people in my group chats and mutuals from tumblr who saw my post and reached out. i had seen some other people offering cards to their mutuals the first christmas i was on tumblr, and i loved that idea so much i wanted to do the same, so i did.

after that first year, though, i had so much fun and had a decent amount of interaction with my blog even if i didn't really know who they were, i figured why not offer cards to everyone? no one has to take me up on it if they don't want to, if they aren't comfortable sharing their address, that's fine! they just won't sign up. i didn't know if there would be a big participation or anything, but i figured it was worth a try. i kinda stepped up my game that year and got some boxed handmade cards that are absolutely beautiful to send out. i still buy a box of those just in case something goes wrong and i run out of my own homemade cards now, so i have backup, because i love them.

more people than i expected signed up for the cards that year, and i had so much fun! it really took a time of year that is full of depression and anxiety and stress and worries for me and allows me instead to focus on other people. on helping others have some cheer during the holiday season. i've always been someone who believed that if i'm having a hard time, the best way to get through it is to turn my focus outward and instead find ways to help other people. so i continued!

i had wanted to try to make my own christmas cards, like i used to when i didn't have any kids and when my oldest was just a baby, but it took a few years to get to the point of being able to do that. it took a lot of work and was of course a much longer process, but i'm not really an artistic person. card making was something i felt like i could do decently well and was a bit more personal, you know? and again, it was a way that i could find joy during a time of year that is insanely difficult for me because it is just riddled with triggers. adding the making of the cards to the mix has meant that the last few years has been a big learning curve for me and i didn't get the cards out on time the last two years... maybe the last three hah but i TRIED and i still sent cards to everyone who asked one, even if they didn't get there until well into the new year haha

this year though you're all getting them on time as long as the postal services do what they're supposed to do haha!

as for paying for them, yes i pay for them all myself. since i purchase everything (except for the stickers i use, which are actually kind of stupidly difficult to find outside of Christmastime) only when they're on sale (usually buy one get one free or something) and use coupons on top of it, things don't really cost as much as they could. especially when you consider that i make over 100 cards using what i purchase, and then still have supplies left over so i can use them towards the cards i make next year too. basically, i spread out the purchasing of the items i use through the year as best as i can to make it more cost effective and less of a burden on our finances at christmas/birthday season in my house. i went a bit more simple with the cards this year compared to previous years because finances have been a lot tighter for us the last six months than what they have been even previously, and i couldn't really fill in the holes of what was missing after everything i made last year. but it was fine, i just figured out a design that would work using just what i already had in my supplies and voila! hehe

so yeah. long story short, i do it because it makes me happy during a difficult time of year for myself and as long as people are interested in cards from a stranger, i'll keep doing it. literally the only thing that could ever stop me is if i didn't have the money to buy the stamps to send them out or something. hehe

hope that helps, and happy holidays!

[thesuperiorrobin]

Damian Wayne wasn’t a big fan of holidays. Whether is Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s etc

Even Halloween.

Until he meet you.

You loved Halloween. The free candy, the amazing costumes everyone wore, and the cute little kids having their first Halloween with their parents—you just loved it all. For Damian—technically it was his first Halloween overall and his first Halloween with you. So imagine your surprise when found out that Damian—during the amazing day at the end of October—spends the day in his room locked in his room doing god knows what.

“What do you mean you don’t do anything?!?

Damian rolls his eyes at you “I just don’t see anything special about dressing up and knocking on peoples houses to get free candy”

“that’s the Whole point Dames! There’s more to it than just the silly costumes and free candy!”

You were disappointed. After all that your main goal was to get Damian to like Halloween. Yet no matter how hard you tried he just would budge. He didn’t even like the idea of dressing up together for Halloween—which kinda hurt your feelings a little. He was acting like he was a little too old to do those things. And mind you you and Damian are both 16-17 years old—you two are old but you aren’t that old.

“It’ll be fun!” You say “trust me!”

“Beloved I’m not going to wast my time going out doing childish things”

“But we won’t promise” you whined “I got invited to a Halloween party. So we unfortunately won’t be going trick-or-treating this year”

Damian Wayne isn’t a fan of parties either, but he’s learning to adjust to them. Just very slowly at the moment. No matter how hard you tried to convince him his answer was a stern no. You tried everything—begging, trying to exchange something so he could go, you even said you’ll walk Titus for an entire year if he goes but he denied. But you had one more trick up your sleeve. Damian had a gut feeling you’ll use it at some point. You pretend to give up and give out a long sigh. Like a really loud and heavy one which makes Damian's ear twitch a little.

“Alright fine, I get it. You don’t wanna hang out with your amazing girlfriend on this amazing scary holiday” you get up and get ready to dramatically leave his bedroom. Damian can feel his body twitch slightly and he watches you leave his room—closing the bedroom door shut. He knows you’re waiting behind that door.

He knows you're counting down until he gets up and opens the door for you. Damian hates how you have such an impact in his decision at this point because he’s annoyed at the fact that he actually gets up and opens the door with a scowl.

“Fine” he sighs out “I’ll go to the stupid Halloween party with you

You squeal as it makes Damian’s heart skip a few beats. “Goodie I already have the perfect Halloween costume for us”

“Of course you do”

Safe to say you and Damian had the best costume that night—you wanted it to be within your budget. Not his yours, because you knew Damian would juts buy some expensive costume that really isn’t worth it.

It’s a bonus too because everyone on the Gotham Instagram page and the news went wild. Much to his dismay.

Liked by:Gotham_NEWS, Dicck_GrAy, jay_Hay, Timmy_Drake, +1,000

Y/n_L/N: i love this version of Grim better 😘😍

(P.s Dames artistic skill really pop off for this party swear😃)

View 7381 comments

Random_user13738: I hope y’all break up

└ y/n_L/N: Me too so I can get with this man instead 😍

Dicck_GrAy: HOW DID YOU GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE?!?”

└ y/n_L/N: a magician never reveals their secrets🤗

Random_user86382: I wish I had a bf like this 💀

└ y/n_L/N: i heard boys like him are hard to come by☹️

____________________________________________

I hope everyone had an amazing Halloween.

I didn’t even get to go trick or treating with friends bc I got sick 😭

[writingwithcolor]

Hi, I’m writing a story with an underground organization that covers up and researches supernatural events.. I wanted one researcher to be Jewish, and eventually become one of the directors of the organization. However, I wasn’t sure if that would tie into the conspiracy theory of a Jewish organization controlling the world.

I’d like to note, the organization itself isn’t necessarily Jewish, but she is. Is there anything I could do to make that difference more apparent to the audience? Or should I just not make the character Jewish?

Jewish character becomes leader of secret organization that covers up supernatural events

In an office comedy or police procedural, when there’s one lone Jewish character in the cast whose Jewishness only comes into play in contrast to their ambiently-culturally-Christian castmates, it’s a little underwhelming as representation goes, but this is an example of how transplanting a trope into a new context can give it new life. By emphasizing that this castmember is Jewish, you’re reminding your audience that the majority of the people in the secret organization are not, so having an explicitly Jewish character actually helps counteract the sense that the organization is being coded Jewish. Good job!

That said, here are some ways to make sure you’re hitting the mark:

Mention the beliefs or cultural traditions of her coworkers, at least in passing. Does one of them wear a necklace of a saint? Does one of them wear a turban or hijab? Does someone have an overbearing Evangelical mother or have to hurry to make it to confession? Include those to make it clear that you are not coding everyone as Jewish.

Include Jewish characters who AREN’T part of the organization. If she’s got Jewish family members or belongs to her synagogue sisterhood, show her lying to them about what she does for a living. That kind of lie is uncomfortable perhaps and might be seen as a betrayal of trust by a Jewish character who thought they knew her well, but it’s not sacreligious, and would emphasize that the other Jewish characters are not involved in any kind of conspiracy and wouldn’t be okay with it if they knew that she was. 

If you’re up for the research and she’s a central enough character, include some mention of what her Jewishness means to her: what she loves, what she struggles with, and what she’s less familiar with than she’d prefer to be. She can find meaning in her work or justify actions she’s uncomfortable with through a Jewish lens, but only if it’s clear that her Jewishness is something she’s mapping onto her not-inherently-Jewish job, and she has Jewish meaning in things her job doesn’t touch.

It’s probably fine for her to get promoted, but avoid implying that she’s promoted due to nepotism or for reasons other than her own hard work, and always make sure she has an explicitly not-Jewish and not-Jewish-coded boss above her who is not unusually knowledgeable about or solicitous toward her Jewishness. For instance, let her say how hard a time she had getting the fall holidays off, or how annoying it is to attend a company pre-Christmas party when Chanukah has been over for two weeks. In short, make sure to show that she continues to have the irritations and difficulties of a Jewish person in a culturally-Christian-dominated workplace, and that most characters don’t.

- Meir

Tiny addition: one thing that already helps it not evoke that specific antisemitic stereotype is that the secret organization some people think we have, has the goal of power and control, not covering up supernatural stuff which is more… neutral? Like it’s not a “power hungry” reason. I know that sounds like splitting hairs but it does matter. However, taking Meir’s suggestions into mind is still a good idea.

-- Shira

Ask published Oct 2021

[eyrieofsynapses]

Redemption Panel Highlights and Reactions

GATORS

i.e., Beth Riesgraf and Christian Kane (mostly Beth) talking about filming the scenes in (what I presume is) The Rollin’ on the River Job, where they’re pulling some stuff out of the water, and finding out the next day that there was an absolutely massive alligator pulled out of the same place just a little while after they filmed it

Beth’s impression of the wildlife folks warning them about the alligators

Beth scaring the hell out of Noah Wyle by yelling “GATOR” at him just after he finished his scene

seriously that was an absolutely WILD part of the panel

Everyone showering Aleyse Shannon with literally all the love!

Aldis Hodge in particular big-brothering her, and also the older actors calling her out for not giving herself enough credit, and Dean Devlin talking about how she blew him away at the auditions with her ability to turn on a dime

Seeing Kane with his glasses off wiping at his eyes, momentarily thinking “you okay dude?” and then realizing that he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes

(same)

The The Bucket Job clip! I’ve been a bit meh on a lot of Redemption, just in how it didn’t feel quite right, but that is possibly the absolute closest I’ve seen it get to the original in the best way. Brilliant

Which comes as no surprise since BETH RIESGRAF directed the episode!!! And apparently put an insane amount of effort in!

Beth’s utter delight and joy at both directing the episode and having the crew behind her

THE CHAIR

So apparently she and Christian went to town on the fight scene and he winds up tied up in a chair somewhere along the line and there’s a whole wild scene, which I am really looking forward to

Beth knowing how insanely particular he’d be about things like zip ties vs rope and what kind of rope e.t.c. e.t.c.

Apparently this is also tied into a VERY DEEP scene with Eliot? It sounds like they’re going to go super hard on his backstory, which is terrifyingly exciting

Just. Beth and Christian going very hard on that episode together

Speaking of: the panel’s going amazingly, I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts, things are relatively light, and then, of fucking course—

Kane hitting us over the head about Eliot being a mass murderer who can’t be redeemed, is trying to stay static so that he can maintain the place he’s in, and is thus LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH HARRY

What the FUCK. This is of course incredibly insightful and perfectly on point (because it’s Kane) but also, EXCUSE ME, OUCH, why would you DO THAT to us?

Everyone talking about having their families on set and their kids!

Beth’s son growing up on the original Leverage set and now going into being a director himself!

Gina’s daughter also growing up on set!

Noah Wyle’s daughter is playing Harry’s daughter I REPEAT NOAH WYLE’S ACTUAL DAUGHTER IS PLAYING AS HARRY’S DAUGHTER

Gina Bellman remaining relatively stoic throughout much of the panel (seriously, this woman, how the heck does she do it) and then losing it when they’re asked about running/inside jokes

A lot of them are, of course, apparently not appropriate to be spoken on-panel

(A lot of the others are the little inside ones that are special enough not to be ones they want to share, which is sweet!)

Everyone collectively losing it over having LeVar Burton on for The Bucket Job

Devlin and everyone laughing about collecting the various Star Trek people on Leverage

Beth talking about Burton coming over while she’s getting ready and asking her if she’s living on coffee and water, her laughing because he was absolutely right, and then him gently reminding her to remember to eat, which is the sweetest thing in the world oh my gods

Kane apparently choreographing an intense scene with Burton and being scared out of his mind, because Burton really wanted to go for it, but to Kane it was like he’s a figurine that’s not to be messed with because he was so worried about hurting him

Kane choreographing a massive amount of the show, which I knew already, but seriously, this guy blows me away

Gina and the crew talking about how he’d be away for a day of shooting a fight and all of them would be missing him and thinking about him

Family Vibes

Everyone talking about how they’re very noisy and loud together on set and it’s a bit like walking into a group of people having Christmas dinner (or something to that effect) because they’re just Like That together

Aleyse being the most surprised by Beth when she met her because she was like a little angel of light during the auditions but turned out to be an absolute ball of wild energy on set

Gina going “wait you were a MODEL” at Beth

Aldis talking about how much he loved how Parker and Hardison’s relationship had developed and grown!

Also, Aldis apologizing when the New York (iirc) background noise got loud and everyone going “no no we get you”

His outfit is ON POINT today

Gina saying that Christian is the goofiest and wildest out of them in terms of humor

(she goes “some of you may not know this,” which, fair, but also, if you’ve seen more than ten minutes of this guy outside of character you know he’s an absolute ball of sunshine)

Gina, Beth, and Christian talking about how they’d challenge each other to stay off sweets back on the original set, because they knew they needed to stay in shape and also just because they’re competitive (apparently all of them are major sweet tooths) and hide brownies and things from each other, while Aldis is just. doing pushups. eating all the healthy stuff. and then wanders into the room with a literal cupful of chocolates

(and Aldis going “well yeah I have to work off the sweets SOMEHOW”)

Beth explaining that sometimes they’d order a “Kane burrito” from Christian and he’d alter it slightly

Like, you know, chopping up hot jalapenos super fine and mixing them in, and Beth practically not being able to talk after the first bite

Apparently Aldis still went back a lot even after that

(Christian just seems very pleased with himself over it)

(THESE PEOPLE)

Gina goes “hey we should have an episode where we all swap roles,” Devlin going “WAIT FOR SEASON ONE TO BE DONE,” and then somebody (maybe the moderator?? I don’t remember exactly) going “uh actually. We did that”

Cue immediate scramble of “WAIT WHICH JOB WAS THAT”

(paraphrasing) “Yeah you remember the bit where you put on Parker’s harness and went off a building?”

Turns out half the cast had actually forgotten that that existed and only remember when reminded

The original cast all think of the episodes as “jobs”!!!!

Everyone talking over each other, Devlin going “it was with Sterling when we blew up the offices,” deciding that it was the season one finale, and then trying to figure out what episode title it was (eventually they figure out it’s the David jobs)

Moderator and Devlin accurately commenting that the fans know the show much better than they do

Noah Wyle very correctly explaining how Electric Entertainment is like a family and Devlin just. Keeps people

Aleyse and Aldis talking about typing when they’re hacking and going “WHAT THE HECK DO WE TYPE”

Aldis goes “yeah I just type all the bad words that we’re not allowed to say”

Aleyse saying that she’s always a little worried they’re hiding a Word document behind the blue screen and they’re going to pull up what she’s typing at the end of the day and print it out and put it in her trailer going “what the HECK is this”

Noah talking about filming The Golf Job and just getting to direct Jason Marsters and Christian together

Apparently their dynamic in that episode accurately mirrors the one with their characters in Angel!

Which promptly goes straight to the comment that it was very hard to make Marsters look like a golfer (pfft)

(Also apparently Christian plays golf for fun with his friends? Not necessarily something I would’ve thought of!)

Aleyse happily talking about how she loved the dynamic on set and it was very different from what she was used to

Also Aleyse talking about doing stunts and everyone else praising her for going whole hog

Beth especially praising her for the bit where she’s hit with the paralysis injection (I don’t remember which ep it’s from) and her acting for it, because it was incredibly hard to drop off screen in the particular way she did

Aleyse promptly answers that she was terrified with some of those, especially one where she had to keep a clock from falling and breaking

Everyone discussing how they see a new aspect of Breanna’s character in The Train Job

Also, to get serious for a moment, Kate Rorick in particular talks about how Breanna’s part of Gen Z and how we didn’t get the “days of yore” where everything was chill. We’ve basically been living in a world of hostility the whole time. It’s something I deeply appreciate, as someone who’s part of that group, and I love how they emphasize that for us.

This panel was pure chaos and I loved every moment of it! My stomach was actually hurting from laughing so hard, I swear. They had me cackling well over half the time. I would happily take panels double or triple the length of this, this was amazing. I also adore how the second you drop these six people in a room together, they immediately take off and literally just run and give you everything you wanted and more. (It is also evidently very hard to get them to STOP talking.)

I’m also just going to stop and take a second to fawn over the effects for the 3D room. It’s gorgeous—I love how they replicated the headquarters, especially with the stained glass ceilings! Super impressive, especially with all the photos, and I just love the whole thing. Kudos to whoever put that together.

Anyway, I’m definitely missing some stuff too; seriously, there wasn’t a second wasted in this thing, they were cracking some kind of joke or dropping some really interesting piece of information practically every thirty seconds. (And I haven’t even gotten into the clips OR the bloopers. I miiiight do a separate reaction purely for those.) It’s still up right now if you missed it and you want to watch it! I’ll probably watch it again, honestly.

[fruitcoops]

Could you maybe do that part 5 of truth or drink you alluded to?? :) with Jules and the lupins and basically Jules spilling ALLL of re’s secrets & Marley loving it 🥰

Oh, Jules, how I missed you. The truth or drink referenced in this ask is here (it's been an age since I did one, wow!) and SW credit of course goes to @lumosinlove!

“Please can we have alcohol?” Jules swung his legs under the table with wide, pleading eyes.

Marlene barked a laugh. “Over my dead body, baby Loops.”

“It would be,” Remus agreed with a teasing grin.

“Welcome back to Lion Pride, both of you,” she said, ruffling their hair. Both scrunched their faces up in identical expressions of displeasure. “There are fifteen cards in your deck, and if you don’t want to answer the question, you have to take a drink of apple juice. Not alcohol.”

“You used to be cool,” Jules sulked. Marlene rolled her eyes and Remus reached over to flick his ear. “Hey, that hurt!”

“No, it did not.”

“I’m gonna tell mom you hit me.”

Remus turned to Marlene with a long-suffering look. “Can I have alcohol?”

“Get crackin’, boys, the world wants to know your secrets.” She tapped the deck of cards with a wink and wandered behind the cameras again.

“Alright, here we go.” Remus sighed. “My name is Remus Lupin, I’m the Lions’ right wing, and I’m here with my baby brother to answer some questions. Take it away, Jules.”

“I’m not a baby,” Jules clarified to the camera. “I’m twelve. Who’s the most attractive sibling?”

Remus frowned. “Me? Just ‘cause I’m older.”

“As if.”

“Oh my god,” he muttered, reaching for his own card. “Oh, this should be fun. Name your favorite parent.”

“Dad,” Jules answered without hesitating. Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“First, you’re not supposed to answer that fast, and second, what?”

“Dad’s cool!”

“Dad is not cool!” Remus laughed. “I don’t have a favorite parent—”

“Liar.”

“—but mom is the cool one. Dad’s a dork, and we love him for it.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe this. Mom would literally do anything for you. She learned to skate for you.”

“It’s not like I don’t love mom!” Jules protested as he took a new card. “I love her so much! And I know mom is your favorite, so it’s only fair. Which of us is the most successful, and which is the screwup?”

“I don’t have a favorite parent,” Remus insisted, leaning back in his seat. “And neither of us are screwups.”

“You’re more successful.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re a screwup. It means you’re twelve. Who’s the overachiever?”

“You,” Jules snorted. “You’re such a nerd. It’s embarrassing. What’s the meanest thing I did to you when we were kids?”

Remus rested his chin on his hand and thought for a moment, then turned to look behind the camera. “Since we were only kids together for, like, three years, can I say something from a little later?”

“Anything before age 25,” Marlene called.

He nodded decisively. “Sweet. In that case, it’s the time this little monster let a rat into the house, freaked out when he didn’t know what to do, then locked it in my bedroom and didn’t tell anyone until I went to bed and something ran across my sheets.”

Jules shrugged. “You survived.”

“Yeah, and you almost didn’t.”

“So dramatic,” he muttered.

Remus whacked him over the head with the next card before reading it. “Oh, god. Share the most mortifying memory you have of me. If you drink that apple juice and don’t answer, I’ll get you ice cream on the way home.”

Jules leaned back with a hum, already grinning. “Let’s see…”

“No,” Remus groaned.

“Probably—” Jules broke off to giggle. “Probably when you took me into the locker room to meet the team and the whole time I was talking to Sirius, you looked like you were about to melt into the floor. You had this stupid grin on your face—”

“Shut up.”

“—and almost tripped over your own feet, like, four times. This was before you guys were dating, too.”

“You are the worst,” Remus said, though his voice was muffled by his forearms. “Next question?”

“I can keep going. There was the time you gave yourself a black eye hanging Christmas lights, and when you bounced off an enforcer when you tried to check him, and when mom asked you to defrost the chicken for dinner and you forgot so you put it in the microwave and almost set the house on fire, and—“

“Marlene.” Remus raised his head with a pitiful look. “Please make him stop. Please.”

“Okay,” Marlene laughed, a little breathless. “Alright, one sec. Jules, your turn.”

“Ugh, fine. Do you let me win at things?”

“When you were five, sure.” Remus tilted his head to the side. “Otherwise, no. Do you want me to let you win?”

“I’d be so upset if you did. I only get better because I want to kick your ass one day.”

“Language. Am I a good brother?”

“Well, yeah,” Jules said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He blinked at Remus, clearly confused. “Duh. You’re weird and annoying, but you’re one of my top three favorite people?”

“Before or after dad?” Remus teased, but it was soft with fondness.

Jules narrowed his eyes and leaned his elbows on the table. “Wouldn’t you like to know. Have I ever disappointed you?”

“Never. I don’t think you could if you tried. Who’s smarter?”

“Me.” Remus gave the camera a disbelieving look as Jules took a new card. “Ha! I like this one. Which of us was a mistake?”

“Oh, that is a good one. Honestly, I don’t think either of us were planned. Mom and dad definitely weren’t expecting a kid at 21 and 25, and absolutely weren’t planning on another one fifteen years later.”

Jules cast the camera a bright smile. “Oops!”

“But we’re their best mistakes,” Remus said solemnly with the ghost of a smile, as if he was repeating a sentiment that had been said many times before. “Okay, I need to have a talk with whoever set up these questions. Do an impersonation of me, or drink to—”

“Oh, look at me, I’ve got a fancy degree,” Jules mimicked, dropping his voice comically low. “I’m so cool, I’ve got a secret boyfriend and I’m not gonna tell anyone about it for three whole months even though I suck at keeping secrets. I’m tall, so I’m gonna grab my awesome little brother by the ankles and shake him around—”

“You asked me to—”

“Shh! I’m not done!”

Remus gave him an incredulous look. “They get the point!”

Jules stuck his tongue out, but grabbed a new card from the stack. “What are your best and worst memories of mom and dad?”

“Aw, man.” Remus tapped his short stack of cards on the table and bit his lip. “Best and worst…best would probably be Christmas two or three years ago, when we all went skating on the lake.”

“That’s a good one,” Jules mused.

“It’s hard to think of my worst memory of them. Um, maybe after I stopped playing hockey in college? There was a lot of walking on eggshells and it was really uncomfortable.”

Remus read the next card and his frown dissolved into laughter; he reached for the apple juice and filled both glasses to the brim, then pushed them across the table to Jules without a word. “What are these for? You have to read the card, dummy.”

“The most spoiled sibling has to drink,” Remus said with a wide grin.

“It’s not me!” Jules protested, though it was weak. “You were an only child for fifteen years!”

“Yeah, and?” His amusement only grew as Jules struggled to make a comeback. “See, you can’t even deny it! You’re the baby of the family and everybody loves you. How many times have you been to Gryffindor?”

Jules opened and closed his mouth a few times, going red with indignance.

“How many?” Remus’ expression was pure glee. “Buddy, I didn’t leave Wisconsin for anything other than roadies until you were old enough to travel, and then mom and dad had to show you off to everyone.”

“They love you, too!”

“I know they do,” Remus laughed. “They’re great parents and we both had amazing childhoods. You’re still the more spoiled one.”

“I don’t like this game,” he muttered as he drank one of the glasses. “And I’m not drinking that other one. Okay, last question. Should we see more of each other?”

“Of course,” Remus said. “I wish we lived closer to each other all the time. Do you think so?”

Jules reached for the glass, then burst out laughing when Remus’ jaw dropped. “Oh, I got you so good! But yeah, I miss you a ton during the school year.”

“You little…” Remus bit back his threat and ruffled Jules’ hair despite his protests, cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. “Keep that up and you’re gonna get flipped again.”

“You wouldn’t. Not on camera.”

“Try me.”

Jules bolted from his seat and tried to make a run for it, but Remus was faster—he caught him around the waist, hefted him under one arm, and turned him around until he could get ahold of his skinny ankles. “No!” Jules shrieked through his giggling as Remus started swinging him lightly back and forth. “No, no, put me down!”

“Just making sure you really don’t want to see more of me,” Remus said, alight with happiness. Jules’ fingers nearly touched the ground. “You’re almost too big for this.”

“Good,” Jules wheezed. “Are we done yet?”

Remus looked back to the camera. “Thanks for tuning into Lion Pride, everyone. Make sure to like and subscribe if you want a slow-motion tutorial on how to transform your little brother into an emergency pendulum.”

“No!”

“Can you get down by yourself?”

Jules stretched his arms toward the floor, but Remus pulled him up an inch just as his fingertips brushed the tile. “Hey! Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Pulling me up!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Remus said, adding another inch.

[oumaheroes]

Congrats on 100+ followers, you deserve it! I love your blog and writing! For the writing-promp, how about some outsider pov fruk?

Reflections

Word Count: 1690

Characters: England, France - FrUK, America, Canada

----

‘It’ll be fun!’

‘No, it won’t.’

‘Yes it will,’ America insists, leaning forward to get a better look at the screen. England’s face through the webcam is decidedly unimpressed.

‘I don’t like house parties,’ he says, but America can hear slight resignation already there in his voice and so pushes again to seal the deal.

‘Please? Come on man, it’ll be great. Right after the G20 meeting in Texas too so there’s no work to worry about; just stay one more day for it. And hey, if you don’t like it you can leave.’

England raises an eyebrow, ‘You invited me to stay withyou.’

America shrugs, unbothered, ‘Then don’t! Or, do- whatever. It’s up to you.’

England sighs and looks conflicted. America seizes the opportunity and goes in for the kill, ‘Everyone else will be there too; you don’t wanna get FOMO.’

‘I don’t get FOMO,’ England snaps, looking affronted, and America instantly knows he’s won, ‘But fine, if it means that much to you, I’ll come.’

America tries to school his face into something that doesn’t look too triumphant, ‘Awesome! Kay, so it’ll be casual, no need to dress up or be all fancy or anything.’

‘Yes yes,’ England waves a hand dismissively and shifts in his chair, ‘I know how a house party works. I do go to some, you know.’

‘Cool cool cool, just making sure.’ America can’t really picture England at the sort of house party he is thinking of, people lounging about on furniture and playing silly drinking games. But it must happen, he supposes- he’s seen England drunk in pubs before and he’s boisterous so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to imagine him in an even more casual setting.

Suddenly, America notes the darkness of England’s surroundings and checks the clock in the bottom corner of his screen, ‘Hey, it’s getting pretty late for you over there, isn’t it? I should let you go.’

England glances at his wrist, entirely ignoring the PC he’s using, ‘Yes, I suppose so. Okay, likely I’ll see you next month then.’

‘No backsies, you said yes,’ America reminds him.

England rolls his eyes, ‘I meant that I won’t see you until then, I already said I was coming; I’ll come.’

‘Good!’ America moves his mouse to end the call, ‘See you there, old man. Try to be fun.’

‘What is that supposed to-‘

‘Bye!’

----

Canada glances about the room and nods, ‘It’s not bad.’

America reels back, ‘Not bad? Dude-‘ he gestures to the living room they’re in the doorway of and then to the pool outside, both places spilling over with nations chatting and enjoying themselves under the beat of the music, ‘-it’s more than not bad!’

It really was, in his humble opinion, probably one of his best in recent years. Nearly everyone had turned up who said they were going to and there had been a steady flow of conversation and dancing all night. America had scoped the place out every now and again, making rounds through the house to make sure there were no stragglers sitting somewhere on their own but there wasn’t a need for it- things had run smoothly without him needing to intervene and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. This is why he liked house parties, more than any other type of ‘function’. House parties had a more relaxed vibe, where no one felt the need to impress or do themselves up too much (unless you were one of the older ones, that is; it seemed that no matter what you told them they’d still arrive a bit more formally dressed than everyone else, as if they had some sort of inbuilt compulsion).

Things going so well was probably helped, too, by the fact that America had only invited friends and family. One, because inviting the entire world and putting them in one place anywhere would always result in some form of argument, but also because this was his house and he didn’t want it to get trashed, (regardless of what England had groused when he first arrived and had seen the condition of the place).

Canada shrugs and takes a sip of his drink, ‘I’ve been to better.’

America frowns, disappointed, before jostling his arm playfully when he notices the small, guilty shift of Canada’s eye, ‘Stop messing with me.’

Canada grins behind his cup and nudges him back, ‘Well, no one’s dead yet. That’s always good.’

‘Amen to that,’ America raises his glass in a toast which Canada meets and downs the rest of his drink, ‘Want a refill?’

‘Sure.’

‘Come on then, I ain’t your servant.’

Canada gives him a flat look but wordlessly follows America out of the living room and through to the kitchen. Australia’s there with Mexico, digging about in the lower cupboards for something and Denmark is showing Japan a video on his phone that’s making Japan’s eyes go almost unnaturally wide.

‘Alfred mate, what happened to those Tim Tams you promised me?’ Australia stands up from his crouch on the floor and looks at America reproachfully, ‘I feel swindled.’

America opens his mouth to speak but Canada cuts in first, ‘I hid them.’

America turns to him in confusion, ‘Why?’

‘Zea asked me to, seeing as they couldn’t come. Something about what you did to them at Christmas?’

Australia throws up his hands and scoffs, ‘Jesus fuck, when will they get over that. Where are did you put them? Come on, don’t be a dick, I promised Mexico some.’

Mexico shrugs delicately, ‘I don’t really care, to be honest. I just heard they were bad and wanted to see how bad.’

Australia looks down at her scandalised, ‘Who told you that?!’

She readjusts to sit properly on the floor, ‘People.’

‘Yeah, sorry, I’ll get them.’ Canada’s job has been carried out to the minimum requirement and America knows that he’s happy that he can now take himself out of the silly argument New Zealand and Australia have slyly pulled him into. He goes out of the kitchen, leaving his empty cup behind, and America follows him curiously through the hallway in the direction of the study.

‘What did Australia do to Zea at Christmas?’ America has missed out on England’s most recent yearly family function; he’d wanted to go surfing with Hawaii instead.

‘Don’t ask,’ Canada says tiredly, the air of an older sibling who had seen far too much. America is offended Canada hasn’t told him already. He opens his mouth to say as much when Canada goes to open the slightly ajar study door before stopping abruptly in the doorway, causing America to almost crash into him.

‘Hey, what-‘ Canada hurriedly squeezes America’s arm and tugs him sharply away in a warning for quiet, catching his eye before glancing into the room meaningfully. America peers around him into the study, wondering what he’s seen.

At first, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be looking at; it looks empty. The main study light is off, leaving the room lit only by one table lamp by the sofa that casts a warm, buttery glow about the place, softening the corners with shadows. He looks to Canada for help and Canada tilts his head in the direction of the French doors, eyebrows raised.

America follows his gaze and understands. The darkness outside has turned the glass to mirrors, reflecting the front of the old sofa that America could previously only see the back of. On it are England and France, curled up together with France’s head on England’s chest and England propped against the armrest, one knee brought up high for him to rest an elbow on. He has his other hand in France’s hair and is gently running his fingers through it, long languid strokes that feel entirely too intimate for America to process.

It’s a strange thing for him to see. He has accidentally caught England and France doing other things throughout his life but intimacy isn’t really something they display. They argue. They bicker. They fight and scream and laugh, sometimes, but they do not do this in front of other people, this gentleness. Neither of the two are what anyone could ever consider gentle, even France, for all his intentional touches and flirtations -the soft ghost of his hand on a shoulder or resting warm around a waist- are not this, not personal. France is very free with his physical affections but they are shallow things, meaningless and ordinary. There is something removed and detached about how he moves amongst crowds, gathering himself close about someone to brush against them as he stands that speaks of friendliness yes, but not closeness. Nothing special to note.

But here, curled on a sofa and unaware they are being watched, there are no guards up or cold pretences between them, just a natural, domestic openness that America finds oddly normal, for how little he has seen glimpses of it. England and France together are many things, have experienced every extreme and mundane state possible for two people to experience, and this side of them is just another shade, as hard as it is to find.

France tips his head back more and opens his eyes, crinkling their corners as he murmurs something low under the muted music that causes England’s lips to twitch into a rare, open smile. They could be anyone then, just two people on a sofa, young and mellow, and for a split-second America can’t see them as anything else. The warm mood hides their identity and blurs their age- familiar strangers tucked away on their own.

America jumps, startled, when Canada nudges him, an elbow into his side and he turns to find his brother gesturing with his head back into the hallway.

He agrees. America knows both England and France would be mortified to be caught like this, boneless and out of character around the person they often so openly despise, so it’s best to leave them as they are undisturbed.

Australia can wait, America will squeeze the truth out of Canada about Christmas and maybe take Zea’s side just for fun.

----

AN:

Sorry for the wait anon, but I hope you see this and I hope that you like! Thanks for the ask and for your kind words, this was a lovely prompt and I really liked thinking about how I could do this justice ;u;

<3

[spencersawkward]

i’m so happy ur on tumblr now!! i love between the lines so much, could you write a blurb or one shot about mgg and a younger co-star, but like very spicy if possible 🙃, idk i just love that scenario🥵.

i was literally about to write "omg i love this concept too!" and then i was like “well no fucking shit, sophi.” lol. YES i can 10/10 write you a one-shot with a similar scenario! also thank you for your kind words that was the first fic i ever wrote so it’s very near and dear to my heart!

summary: reader goes to a holiday party with her co-stars and best friend, Matthew... but all the fun happens in the dressing room.

content warnings: this one is quite dirty but i’m also proud of it lol. unprotected penetrative sex, oral (female receiving), degradation, use of the term “little girl,” creampie, age gap. dirty talk?

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

word count: 4.7k

masterlist

"no."

"what do you mean, 'no’?” Matthew laughs, looking between me and the mirror.

"I look like the Ghost of Christmas Past." I lift up the soft white tulle of the dress, watching it float back down to settle over my skin. he's got his eyebrows raised and there's a smirk on his lips like he's holding back a laugh. I resist the urge to reach around and hit him.

"would you rather wear that?" he points to the punch-stained gown that's now laying pathetically over the back of the vanity chair. I genuinely ponder the idea for a moment.

"honestly, the crime scene vibes might work well with the theme of our show."

"seriously, it's not bad, Y/N!" he insists, drawing my attention back to the mirror.

"you're just saying that because you're the one who spilled on me and you don't want people making fun of how clumsy you are." I cross my arms over my chest. he gives me a dubious expression in our reflection on the wall.

"do I seem like I care about that?" he challenges.

"I--" the truth is that no, Matthew is not the type. Matthew is the kind of person to flounder in front of anyone and proceed to crack a joke about himself. he's humble. but I kind of like when we talk like this, our back and forth.

after a year of working together on the same show, he and I have grown incredibly close. I'm friends with all my co-stars, but he and I just have the natural friendship chemistry that makes me want to spend all my time with him. when we're not on set, we're hanging out on his couch or ordering dinner or driving out of town to check out wacky sites around California. we just have fun. pure, clean, honest fun.

of course, in my dreams it isn't pure or honest. frankly, there's a lot of sordid scandal to what goes on in my head when he accidentally touches my arm or brushes his fingers over mine. the amount of times I have gone to cast parties trying to work up the nerve to kiss him are embarrassing. he's older and more experienced and, obviously, he has no interest in me.

but that doesn't matter.

the only reason I'm standing in a dressing room alone with him is because he knew someone on the crew who could hook me up with a replacement for the night. he left while I slipped out of the old one and came back in only after knocking and checking, like, twice to make sure I was decent. he's so respectful that it's almost like he's afraid of making me think the wrong thing-- which makes me feel absolutely stupid for my almost schoolgirl crush.

"come on, you look great. let's go enjoy the party."

"was this a dress one of the victims was wearing?" I ask with a laugh.

"probably. not like we carry a lot of gowns on set." he grabs my hand, makes my heart leap into my throat. he only does it to urge me along, but it still feels intimate as I follow him out of the room, tossing one more evaluative glance at myself in the mirror. I seem terrified.

we continue to do our rounds at the party, Matthew filling my glass of eggnog even though I hate it. I wince and take a sip while we talk to some of our co-stars.

"what's wrong with you?" Shemar chuckles at my expression.

"lost a bet."

"with whom?" he glances between Matthew and me, knowing damn well already from the mischievous grin on the former's face.

"I told you not to take it." Matthew says over the rim of his glass.

"if you mention it one more time, I'm gonna throw up eggnog all over your outfit." I threaten him, but we're both smiling. Shemar frowns.

"what was the bet?"

"you know David-- the guy I was telling you about?" I reply quickly, determined to give my side of the story. Shemar nods; I told him last week when David oh-so-chivalrously danced up on me at a club and asked me out. usually in those situations, guys just want a one-night stand, so I was impressed and agreed. "anyway, Matthew said if it turned out that he was a weirdo, he would get to pick my drinks for the next week whenever we go out."

"your drinks? that's specific."

"she's so picky!" Matthew teases me.

"leave me alone, you dick!" I elbow him and he dodges just in time.

"tell him why he was a weirdo." he grins. the glare I give could kill. but Shemar is waiting expectantly for me to share the information, so I sigh and set my jaw before telling the truth.

"he collects antique dental tools."

"what?" Shemar laughs disbelievingly. I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know. we went back to his apartment and he showed me his whole collection."

"you're attracted to weird people, Y/N." Matthew says. I raise my eyebrows and almost say something that dooms me. I hold my tongue, however, and turn back to Shemar with a reserved smile.

"anyway, how are you?"

...

the cast holiday party is actually pretty fun. I tend to leave these functions early in favor of my couch and some ice cream, but something about the bright colors and the smell of wintergreen in the air makes me want to linger in the studio.

I stuff myself with sugar cookies and Matthew mercifully lets me switch from eggnog to Sprite. normally, I'd drink at such an occasion, but I'm a messy drunk and this is one of my first real jobs as an actress. I don't want to even come close to jeopardizing that by breaking some expensive equipment or something.

my throat gets a little sore from all the talking I do-- Paget and I spend about half an hour horribly belting out Christmas carols at the baby grand piano they brought in. they originally had someone hired to play it, but the guy disappeared about an hour ago.

by the time it hits around ten pm, my limbs are tired. I thought people would be leaving (a lot of them have families), but the party is still very much raging when I start to wind down. maybe it's because I'm sober.

"hey." Matthew sidles up next to me as I sit at the piano bench with a slice of lime in my mouth. I like to suck the juice out of them; sour things are my favorite.

"hi." I pluck the fruit out and drop it back into my soda. he sits next to me, his cologne filling my senses with the kind of sensual warmth that it shouldn't be making me feel. he always smells so good.

"ladylike." he gestures to the movement.

"is that why you call me 'princess?'" I smirk, half-joking.

"once-- I called you that once!" he defends. it's not a lie. he used the nickname when he was mocking me for my somewhat selective food preferences. it was sarcastic, but I wish it wasn't. something about the way he said it in the moment made me blush.

"is there a reason you've come to grate my nerves?" I raise an eyebrow and he turns away from me as he bites back a smile. I pout. "what?"

"you're talking like a Jane Austen novel."

"what's wrong with Jane Austen?" I defend, skin heating up. his proximity is doing things to me that it shouldn't.

"nothing," he glances at me before moving his gaze to the ivory keys. "do you play?"

"elementary level, sure." I giggle. he runs his fingers over them, never pressing down hard enough to release a sound. I'm entranced by the delicate nature of his actions, the veins and the curve of his fingertips, the sheer width of his hand. I think about it too much for it to be healthy.

"show me." it's a direct order, one that doesn't feel directive but still ends with me placing both hands on the piano and wracking my brain for something to play. I decide on a piece that Paget and I were doing earlier, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

I've never been quite good at piano, and the nearness of his body is like an anvil on my fingers, but I play anyway. and it feels good. his eyes are on me, drawn to my tracings over the instrument as they press and lift and glide.

"sing." I tell him.

"no!" he protests. I don't stop playing, only now getting into the thick of the tune.

"oh, come on. just the chorus..." I plead, turning my head to beg. "please?"

I bat my lashes playfully, fully intending it as a joke, but Matthew softens a bit. for a fraction of a second, I think he looks at my mouth. he turns his head back to the piano and lets out a quiet "here we are as in olden days... happy golden days of yore..."

"there you go!" I egg him on, and he starts to get more into it. his voice is absolutely off-key; he's no singer, and somehow that makes him even more endearing to me.

Matthew has always been this flawless, intimidating figure in my mind. even when we first met, I was certain that he was hiding something because everything else about him is so... perfect. he's funny, sweet, genuinely kind, handsomer than hell. it didn't make sense. but knowing that he can't carry a tune makes me feel a bit better. it humanizes his beauty.

while he sings, I can't help looking at him. his side profile is even more enchanting; the curve of his features meeting a smooth elegance in his jaw and cheek, especially when his mouth is open. he catches me smiling at him and returns it with his own gleeful face, now totally fine with singing like a fool in front of everyone. nobody is even really looking at us-- they're several drinks in and lost in their own universe of drunken laughter.

there's something kind of magical about that, I think. we're sober. when the song draws to a close, I lift my fingers off the keys and into my lap.

"you're quite the Pavarotti." I joke.

"the who?" he furrows his brow with a smile.

"he's a famous opera singer."

"oh," he laughs, "thanks, Mozart."

I twist my face up as I hide my smile. this is also part of the reason I could never tell Matthew how I feel; we just fit together too well. he almost always gets my references and I understand his, even though there's an age gap between us. he's an old soul with a youthful heart.

"how's your night going?" I ask him softly, changing the subject. he sets his hands on his lap, absent-mindedly toying with his fingers. it's not a nervous tendency at all. he does it whenever we're on set.

"as of right now? pretty damn good." he replies with a smile. I get warm again at the implication. he doesn't mean it like that, but god, do I wish he did.

"very smooth." I compliment appreciatively.

"how about you?"

"it was kind of boring, but then this rando sat next to me and started singing Christmas songs and it got a little better." I say flatly, grabbing my glass off the top of the piano and running my fingertip over the rim. he drops his head in a giggle.

"you're something else."

"insult?" I clarify.

"definitely a compliment."

"I like compliments."

"well, I wasn't lying before. you look really beautiful in that dress."

"the murder dress?" I glance down at it to hide the absolute wideness of my eyes at his words. he's completely flustering me and I'm starting to find it hard to breathe. he said I look beautiful. not "pretty," not "great"-- beautiful.

"yes, the murder dress." he gets a little pink in his cheeks, and that makes me want to explode on the spot.

"well, say goodbye to it because I'm gonna go change back into my plebeian clothes," I stand from the piano bench. "it's past my bedtime."

Matthew looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. I hate leaving him. "do you wanna come with me? like-- walk with me?"

"sure." he nods, stands, and follows behind. I can feel his presence like a delightful reminder of the emotions surging in my stomach. we wind through the crowd of party-goers until we end up back in the dressing room, away from the party. it's quiet.

Matthew walks in with me, carrying our drinks in his hand, and he's about to stroll back out so I can change when I touch his arm. the door shuts automatically behind him.

"wait," I swallow quickly. "can you unzip me?"

"oh." Matthew looks at me, then at the glasses in his arms, then at the vanity. he sets them down and comes back quickly, his frame behind me while his fingertips locate the little piece at the top of my gown. my breath hitches in my throat when he brushes over my spine by accident, one nail dragging accidentally against my skin as the fabric slowly gives way. I don't know if he hears it-- it's nearly imperceptible-- but he definitely hesitates once he reaches the place where my back starts to curve into my ass. he pauses, doesn't breathe until he reaches the end of the zipper.

"there you go." he mutters. his voice is a little more hoarse than usual, and he clears his throat as he steps away. I know he's going to back out. he's going to back out of the room and wait for me to slip into nothing and I know, somehow, that he's going to be thinking about how I look in here with my clothes off. he's going to wish he stayed.

and I'm going to wish he'd done more than stayed.

before I can lose my nerve and allow the moment to be swallowed up by practicality, I shrug the straps of the dress down my shoulders and let gravity take over. it drops to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. I can sense him behind me; he's silent for a moment.

"Matthew." I say, the name sitting on my tongue like a sugar cube. perfectly formed, slowly dissolving.

"y-yeah?" he stutters for the first time since I've met him.

"are you looking at my ass right now?" I ask, still turned around. the way he's frozen in place tells me that I'm right.

"yeah." he admits.

"you can touch it, if you want." I murmur softly. part of me doesn't think this is real, the way each sentence leaves my throat like it's been pre-planned. truly, I don't understand how my brain is moving so quickly.

"are you... sure?" he's hesitant, but even I can taste the longing.

"yes."

his hand smooths over my butt, softly at first like he's still not believing his own eyes, before moving back to grab it. he squeezes the flesh, and a low exhale from him tells me that he's excited.

"do you want more?" my voice barely carries. my head is almost foggy from how good it is to have his grip on my body, even in such a simple way. I can feel myself getting wet.

"how much more?" his lips brush over my shoulder and I get goosebumps. my mouth opens and closes for a moment, searching for the right words.

"however much you want."

it's flint and steel, the way he sparks. the air literally leaves my lungs when Matthew grabs my hips and spins me around to face him. my lips part as I peer up at him, at the lust that now darkens those hazel eyes and the way he holds mine. his touch is certain. he pulls our bodies together, tilts my chin up to kiss me.

it's passionate, strong, the kind of kiss that causes me to lean back a bit just to receive the full force of his desire. but I return the affection easily, moaning into his mouth. I've never been held the way that Matthew holds me. like I'm made of sugar glass, like he wants desperately to feel the soft give of my skin and make a home of me.

the heat between our bodies is almost overwhelming, and I sigh when he subtly pushes our hips together. his erection is against my stomach.

"fuck." I mutter when I pull away for air. Matthew doesn't stop his perfect movements, though, tugging my earlobe between his teeth and starting to leave love bites up my skin and over my shoulder. he chuckles against my throat. I shiver.

"you alright, little girl?" he asks.

"just--" I let out a moan at the sensation of his fingers exploring my bare waist. he reaches behind me to unclasp my bra. "just surprised."

"about?" he slides the straps down my shoulders and looks me in the eye. the lack of physical contact makes me whine.

"that you want me."

"how is that surprising?" he smiles, using one index finger to guide me to look at him.

"you don't seem like it."

Matthew raises his eyebrows as if I'm a crazy person. truly dumbstruck. "what?"

"you-- well, I don't know." I frown, but Matthew takes my hand and moves it over his torso until my palm is resting over the considerable bulge in his pants.

"is this enough proof?"

I struggle for words, sputtering. "yeah-- yeah, it is."

he bucks into my hand a little and I bite my lip, eyes moving up to meet his. something passes between us that I don't fully understand, but feel in my bones. I have never, in my life, wanted someone to fuck me as much as I want Matthew to fuck me right now. my jaw clenches.

"I need you." I tell him like this is the most relevant piece of information that will ever pass between us. he smirks.

"yeah?"

"mhmm."

"then lean against the wall and let me give you what you deserve." he orders. for a second, I try to think through what he means. then I look behind me at the open space and back up, him following me closely. his hands move up to cup my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples as he kisses my lips. the coolness against my back causes me to gasp, and he swallows the sound with his tongue before moving down my body.

he's torturously slow, taking one of my nipples into his mouth while he shrugs off his suit jacket. he switches to my other peak, one hand splayed over my stomach, and then proceeds southward with his lips. his kisses are delicate, open-mouthed, as they find their way to the waistband of my panties.

he hooks his fingers in them and looks up at me.

"can I eat you out, baby?" he asks. I bite my lip.

"please." like a beg.

"oh, you're polite tonight." he smirks, tugging the garment down my legs and discarding it somewhere in the room. I don't respond, and he doesn't seem to need me to, because he pushes one leg up for better access to my pussy. "let's see if it lasts."

my back curves off of the wall involuntarily when he holds the flat of his tongue against my clit suddenly, trying to roll my hips against his face. my fingers tangle in his hair, one leg resting over his shoulder.

he starts to flick at my clit. I lose grasp of my own language.

"Matthew, that feels so good, I--"

he attaches himself to my bundle of nerves, seemingly turned on by the sounds I'm making for him. he groans as he laps at the wetness between my legs, dipping into my folds and sucking the soul out of me. I whine and use his curls as leverage to gain more friction. he peers up at me.

"needy little girl." he mumbles against my pussy. I shove him back into me.

"make me cum, then." I beg. I can practically feel the devilish smirk on his face as he devours me like he'll never get enough. every twist and lick of his tongue is sending me to new places. I'm panting, chest heaving, while I grab my own tits and buck into his mouth.

he moans. my orgasm hits me like a wave, causing me to nearly thrash with pleasure as I cry out.

"Matthew, keep going, fuck yes!" I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, the culmination almost too much to bear as we hold contact. he stares into my fucking soul as he eats me out, and I want to stay like this forever. it's hard to support myself with my legs going weak, but I love it. the sensations are otherworldly. it's only when I'm about to collapse that I push his face away from me.

"I love your pussy." he tells me, licking his lips as he sets my legs down. I grin and let my head fall back against the wall.

"thanks."

"come here, princess." he takes hold of my hips and guides me over to the mirror, turning me so that he's standing behind my frame. the pet name causes me to smile.

"what?" I reference our reflection. he stares at me, reaching around to squeeze my tits.

"I wanna fuck you in the mirror." such a vulgar thing, said so beautifully. he kisses my cheek. "if that's okay with you."

"I don't care what position we do as long as you're fucking me." I breathe honestly. he chuckles and draws me towards him so his clothed boner is against my ass. I reach behind and work the button on his pants. he undoes the ones on his shirt. we're silent, him watching my naked body move like he's trying to memorize every detail.

when he's finally stripped, he lets me stroke his cock for a couple moments before pushing my upper back forward so I'm holding onto the sides of the mirror. I see him biting his lip as he lines himself up at my entrance.

"you ready?" he checks. I nod and he smiles at me once. pushing in, the smile melts into a jaw-dropped haze, eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Y/N..."

"it's so big." I try to breathe. he's so deep, I grip the mirror until my knuckles turn white. he's going to snap my body in two with the angle of his cock, filling me easily.

"tight little thing." he grunts as he holds himself inside. I can only watch in shock as I try to adjust to the sheer feeling of him. Matthew runs his hands over my sides, my ass, touching whatever he can. "how's that?"

I start to wiggle my hips and he groans at the feeling of my walls desperately swallowing him up. "Matthew, I need it."

"need what?" he thrusts into me and I have to fight a scream.

"need you."

"fuck... yes." he hisses out, sliding into me. "you're so wet I don't even need to try."

I bite my lip to withhold my sounds and he stares me in the eyes in the mirror as he starts to fuck me harder, building a pace with his hips. he growls a little if he hits certain angles, getting ruthless.

"so many times when I wanted to be inside you, princess..." he trails off. I start to play with my clit with one hand, using the other to stabilize myself with the mirror. the idea turns me on.

"when?"

"whenever you have attitude," he pants. "tonight, in that innocent fucking dress. making me wanna pound you like a little slut."

I make a high-pitched sound at the shudder of pleasure that jolts through my stomach at his words, wanting more. I've never heard him talk this way before.

"Matthew, shit--" I rub myself in circles, caught between watching his face and watching the way his hips slam into mine.

"you're begging to be fucked, you know that?"

"am I?" I smile sweetly in the mirror. we're in our own world, locked in a fantasy that I never want to leave. I can feel him in every corner of my body, sinking beneath my skin. he digs his nails into my ass.

"mhmm." he hums. I can feel the familiar weight in my stomach that indicates how close I'm getting. a knot that screams to be undone by his perfect length. I would do anything for more of this. I can taste everything good in the world on my tongue.

"I'm so close." I whine.

"I can tell," he studies my face in the mirror. "so pretty when you're breaking."

"oh--" I feel my thighs tense and my body pulses, the euphoria almost overwhelming. we move steadily, rhythmically, and he pushes my climax to new levels. "faster." I cry.

Matthew is quick to respond, gripping me closer while he plows into me like he's never going to have my body again. the sound of it is filthy, perfect, a mess. he groans at the sensation of my cunt pulsating around his cock.

"cum for me, princess." he moans, losing himself in the embrace of my core. the foggy stare in his eyes is like drowning in the ocean. I sink below, not caring at all about the consequences of him inside me. fuck working together; I need him. "where should I cum?"

"in me." I groan.

"beg." he commands easily, watching my face contort in pleasure. I could pretend to fight it, to give a little attitude, but I don't want to. I love begging for him.

"fill me up, Matthew. please." each word punctuated by the breathlessness of my voice. he gets even more ferocious with me, beating up my pussy until I'm sure he's going to leave me sore.

"right there, right there," he gasps, hitting the same spot that makes me go cross-eyed. "such a good little slut."

his cum shoots into me, deep and warm and erotically twisted, and I nearly collapse. it feels weird, but so good at the same time. full. he groans out my name and withdraws, quick to grab my shoulders and hold me up as I almost fall. I hadn't realized that most of my body weight was supported purely by his thrusts.

"whoa." he lets out a tired laugh, gentle in his touch. I'm heaving air into my lungs.

"sorry." I apologize, my body unstable.

"are you okay?" he seems genuinely concerned and I nod.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little overwhelmed."

"here," he scoops me into his arms and brings me over to the old love seat in the dressing room, laying his jacket down before putting me on top of it. "can I get you something?"

"Sprite." I gesture to the glass on the vanity, and he smiles as he goes to get it. I gulp down whatever remains of it. "thanks."

"of course." he keeps glancing at my face and the red marks on my hips where he was clutching me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

"what?" I set the cup down. "don't ever be sorry for fucking me like that."

"no, I meant--" he laughs, but then he sees my playful expression and realizes that I'm genuinely alright. I think my legs were asleep.

"you're a saint." I tell him. he frowns and shakes his head bashfully. I'm already getting up and collecting my clothes. "or maybe what we just did prevents you from reaching sainthood. I don't know."

he places his hand on my lower back, kisses my forehead tenderly.

"seriously. you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure him. "but I would be better with a milkshake."

Matthew breaks into a slow grin, staring at me like I've done something miraculous.

"how are you so perfect?"

[earliebirb]

nosedive

steve/tony, fluff, (newly) established relationship, 3250 words

Tony stares absentmindedly out the airplane window as he puts his phone up to his ear, watching people run back and forth, performing last-minute engine checks. Some of the guys look sweaty and out of breath.

From the comfort of the air-conditioned Stark Industries private jet, he feels a slight twinge of sympathy for the people having to suffer in the humid summer heat.

He loosens his tie and sinks deeply into his seat, closing his eyes with a massive yawn as he listens to the ringing tone. He hadn’t been able to sleep very well throughout his five-day stay in Tokyo, too anxious about the contract to rest properly. 

The ringing tone goes on for a few more seconds before ending with a click, replaced by an achingly familiar voice greeting him in his ear. 

“Hello?” 

Tony’s eyes spring open. Outside, an aircraft marshaller walks by, speaking rapidly into his walkie-talkie.

“I had a blueberry muffin for lunch today. One single blueberry muffin.”

“...What?”

“It didn’t even taste that good. I couldn’t finish it. Too dry.”

“Tony, that’s not good. Is that all you had for lunch? You should really eat—”

“The meeting went well, by the way. Mr. Watanabe finally signed the contract, everything went as planned. My ride to the airport, however…”

“I told you things would go smoothly, you had nothing to worry about. You’re a brilliant negotiator—”

“The traffic? Fuck. I had to keep shifting in my seat to avoid pins and needles.”

“That sounds awful, are your legs okay—”

“Did you know that Tokyo is number nineteen on the list of cities with the worst traffic congestion in the world? I know that, because I looked it up on the way to the airport. But boy, did it feel like it deserved the number one spot. I think I lost feeling in my ass.”

“I did not know that. And, uh, is your ass okay—”

“Thank God for my private jet. These plush seats are the best things I’ve ever spent my money on.”

“That’s objectively not true, and you know it—”

“Then again, I think these seats in particular were Pepper’s choice? We remodeled the airplane’s interior like… two years ago. I couldn’t be bothered to meet with the airplane seat people and I just told her to pick whichever looked best. I had much more important things to tend to, like sewing up the holes in JARVIS’s Christmas stocking.”

“I am concerned about how you sort your list of priorities—”

“Hm, that’s right. I think it was around two, three weeks before Christmas and I didn’t want JARVIS to be upset about the whole stocking thing, you know?”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have—”

“Also, you’re right, the single blueberry muffin was a bad idea because now my stomach won’t shut up. So I’ve ordered some pasta for my in-flight meal. Robbie’s making it, you’ve met Robbie—”

“I’ve met Robbie, yes, he’s—”

“Larry’s replacement after he resigned. Gotta say, I was sad to see Larry go. Guy worked for me for seven years. But then there was that thing with his grandma, and he had to leave, so… But! Robbie makes a mean carbonara, maybe even better than Larry, don’t tell Larry I said that—”

“I don’t even know Larry like that, how would I—”

“Mr. Stark, we’re ready to go.” The pilot—Paul—emerges from the cockpit, staring at him in anticipation.

Tony nods and makes a few rapid gestures with his free hand that he supposes Paul is only able to interpret perfectly after years and years of working for Tony. The gestures roughly translate to something like “Copy, I hear you, just let me wrap this up and then I’ll let you know when I’m done. Capiche?”

Paul—bless him—just gives him a curt nod and retreats back into the cockpit. 

“Anyway,” Tony takes a deep breath and puffs his cheeks out with the exertion of his exhale, “I called because… I got a feeling, Steve.”

“A… feeling?”

“Just— A gut feeling. A feeling in your gut. Inside of me. Like a hunch?”

“Okay,” Steve says patiently, his voice low and warm, “what are you feeling?”

“I… got a bad feeling. Today. A few hours ago. The feeling came to me when I was sitting in traffic, and I just— I feel like something bad’s gonna happen today, Steve. I can feel it in the air. In my heart. In my gut. In my joints.”

“Your joints? Like… the feeling old people get when it’s about to rain?”

“Okay, maybe not in my joints. Also, are you calling me old, grandpa?”

“I did not, you told me you felt something in your—”

“Anyway, so yeah. Where was I? Oh, right. Feeling. Bad feeling. Like, like, I don’t know, something bad’s gonna happen. Like an accident. Like a plane crash.”

“God, please don’t say that. You’re scaring me, Tony.”

“And I guess, I just called because I… I feel like I need to do this before the plane crashes and I die a violent and fiery death.”

“Nothing bad’s going to happen, Tony—”

“Like, if I didn’t do this today, maybe I’d never get to do it, you know? And, uh, okay, I’ve honestly been ranting to stall for time, but the longer I keep it in the more nauseous I feel, so maybe I’m just gonna do it now so I can die in peace—”

“Do what? And stop saying that—”

“Look, I’m trying to be brave and honest here and— Wait, actually? Maybe I’m being a coward because if the plane actually does go down, I won’t have to face the consequences of my actions, so I guess I’m just going to say fuck it, and say that I love you.”

“The plane is not going to— Wait, what?”

“I, uh. Love you. I’ve known it for a while now. And, uh, I know we’ve only been dating for like, a week, but—” Tony blinks. They’ve only been dating for a week. 

“...Fuck.” Tony can feel his own pulse starting to race. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Tony?”

They’ve only been dating for a week. What is he doing? What the hell is wrong with him? Normal people don’t do this. 

“Fuck. Shit, I mean— Uh, I’m sorry. That was super weird, huh?” Tony laughs nervously. He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth and cursing his stupid brain. Of course it’s weird. He always gets too attached to people way too quickly. No wonder Pepper was his only long term relationship. She was the only person who could put up with him—everyone else just got weirded out. “Uh, see you tomorrow? Or not. Fuck, sorry, I’m just gonna hang up before this gets—”

“Tony, wait.”

“...Yeah?” Tony says, hyper-aware of how breathless he sounds. His heartbeat is ringing in his ears. Everything is going to be fine. Right? Right. The worst thing Steve could do is… break up with him.

Oh, God, that is the worst case scenario. He really should’ve just kept his stupid mouth shut. 

“Tony, are you freaking out? I feel like I can hear you freaking out from all the way over here.”

“No, I’m not, of course I’m not. Who says I’m freaking out? You have no proof. I am calm, I’m calm as a clam, is that the saying? Did I get it right? Or was it happy— Anyway, I am absolutely calm, I’m the calmest I could possibly be. Any calmer and I’d be asleep. I’m—”

“Tony. Breathe.”

Tony forces himself to drag in a slow breath as he grips the arm of his seat with his free hand, focusing on the soothing hum of the airplane’s engine.

“Look, Tony, I—”

“No, listen. I’m sorry I jumped the gun, I hope I haven’t weirded you out or anything. You really, really don’t have to say it back to me. I mean it.”

“Tony—”

“No, in fact— Please don’t say anything. It’s fine. Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay?”

“But—”

“Drop it, Steve. Please?” Tony pleads. Clearly, his brain hadn’t been firing on all cylinders. That is the only reason that could explain his temporary lapse of judgment. “Look, I feel like talking about it more right now is going to send me spiraling into a panic attack.”

“...Okay. Fine.”

“Thank you. Uh, I’ll see you when I get home. If I get home. If the plane doesn’t crash. Haha.”

“Would you please stop saying that? It’s not funny.”

Tony latches onto the change in topic like a lifeline. “It is objectively true, you know. In order for me to be able to see you tomorrow, the plane has to land safely, and unfortunately, some things are just beyond my control. Like, who’s to say the plane won’t explode mid-air and—”

“The plane is going to land safely and you’re going to come back home to me in one piece. This is non-negotiable, Tony. You hear me?” Steve demands, his voice all hard authority and no-nonsense, like there will be Consequences should Tony fail to comply. 

As if he could ensure Tony’s safety with the force of his willpower alone. 

Come back home to me. 

That sounds good. Really good. Tony closes his eyes and pictures Steve’s baby blues in his mind’s eye. Warmth flowers in his chest.

“I hear you.”

“Great.”

“Awesome. I, uh, I gotta go now.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

Tony hangs up and lets Paul know that he is done with his phone call. The jittery feeling left over from his call with Steve refuses to leave him, however, so he pulls up the drawing application on his phone and begins sketching something just to give his brain something else to fixate on.

He tends to lose track of time when he is hyperfocused on a project, so he isn’t exactly surprised that the next time he becomes aware of his surroundings, the plane is already well up in the air, his sketch of what looks like a flying coffee pot is almost finished, and Robbie is placing a plate of spaghetti carbonara on the table in front of him. 

“Spaghetti carbonara. With extra cheese.”

Tony’s mouth waters as he eyes the mountain of grated Pecorino Romano sitting atop the pasta. He sighs dreamily and smiles up at Robbie.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“Enjoy, Boss.” Robbie grins and slips back into the kitchen.

He only realizes just how truly famished he is after taking his first bite, and proceeds to finish the rest of his meal with gusto. Afterward, he spends the majority of the remaining flight time sleeping, the result of post-carbonara food coma and his sleep-deprivation finally catching up to him. 

It’s well past two in the morning when Tony finally makes it to his floor in the Tower, which is why he is surprised to see Steve sitting on his couch, one of Tony’s fantasy novels open in hand. 

“Steve, what are you doing here?”

Steve’s head snaps up at the sound of his voice. Tony frowns. “Actually, why are you awake at all?” He is usually an early sleeper, unless—

“Nightmare?” Tony gives him a sympathetic smile. It wouldn’t be the first time. In the early days of their friendship, Tony and Steve would sit together in the living room whenever they had trouble sleeping, talking to each other until the sun came up.

Steve shakes his head, closing the book with his eyes still trained on Tony. “No, I was just… waiting for you.” Tony blinks. 

“It’s…” Tony glances at his watch. “Half past two. In the morning.”

“I know, I just…” Steve stands up, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. He ambles over before coming to a stop right in front of Tony. “I wanted to see you.”

Tony stares at him uncomprehendingly. “You’ll see me later anyway.”

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t want to go to sleep without seeing you first,” Steve says, low and earnest. His gaze wanders around Tony’s face, as if he were cataloguing each and every facial feature and trying to locate any changes he might’ve missed during his absence.

“Oh.”

Steve steps closer, arms snaking around Tony’s waist and pulling him close. His next words are whispered against Tony’s shoulder.

“I knew you’d make it home safely.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You were wrong.”

“I was… wrong.” Tony swallows. “Uh, turns out the bad feeling completely disappeared after I woke up from my nap on the plane, so I suspect that perhaps the bad feeling I got was due to my severe hunger and sleep deprivation. I mean, I’ve heard about hallucinations caused by hunger or exhaustion, but this was—” 

Steve presses a soft kiss to the column of Tony’s neck, effectively cutting off Tony’s ramblings.

“Tony,” Steve whispers against his skin.

“Yeah?” Tony squeaks.

“Please don’t call me before a flight and say that you think the plane is going to crash, ever again.”

“Right. Noted. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Steve says, pulling away slightly and loosening his hold around Tony.

Tony allows himself to relax, letting out a quiet sigh. This thing with Steve is so new and delicate that every single physical contact still sends his heart fluttering, butterflies going crazy in his stomach.

Which makes, in retrospect, his abrupt love confession—as truthful as it was—that much more insane. God, Stark. Never do that again.

Except, it turns out that Steve only pulled away to slide his hands down the back of Tony’s thighs, wrapping his hands around them, and then lifting him up without warning.

Tony yelps, and in his alarm, promptly locks his ankles around Steve’s waist. When Steve begins moving, Tony quickly wraps his arms around Steve, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder.

“Uh, Steve?”

“Hm?” Steve says, calm and nonchalant, as he begins walking away from the elevator. 

“Um— Wait— My suitcase—”

“Leave it. It’ll still be there in the morning.”

Tony blinks, staring dumbfoundedly at his lonely suitcase, abandoned by the elevator. It becomes smaller and smaller with every step Steve takes. 

“Where are we going?”

“Your bedroom.”

“Why are you carrying me there?”

“Because I want to.”

“You know it’ll be faster if you just let me walk, right?”

“Maybe. But you won’t be in my arms.”

“Um.”

“Bear with me, will you? I missed you.”

“I, uh, missed you too.”

Steve hums, satisfied. Tony lets himself settle more comfortably in Steve’s arms.

When Steve has successfully carried him to his bedroom, Tony fully expects Steve to deposit him on the bed. 

That is not, in fact, what happens. 

Instead, Steve turns around and begins walking backwards towards the bed before sitting down on it. Tony, still seated on his lap, swallows and pulls back slightly to look at Steve. 

“Look, Steve, as much as I’ve missed you, I’m kind of tired right now. I mean, don’t get me wrong. This whole carrying thing? Great. Very romantic. Ten out of ten. But I’m just not in the mood for sex, you know? Like, I’m not even sure I would be able to get it up if—”

“We’re not going to have sex.”

Tony blinks.

“We’re not?”

“We’re not. I’m just here to tuck you in.”

“Oh.”

Steve reaches up and begins undoing his tie. After setting it aside on the bed, he begins to unbutton Tony’s shirt. He takes his time, one button at a time.

“So…” Steve begins with a deep breath as he unbuttons the final button. “Did you mean, uh, what you said to me? On the phone?”

Tony closes his eyes, feels his own cheeks heating up. “Steve—”

“I’m sorry, Tony, I know you told me to drop it. But— I feel like if you did mean what you said, I owe it to you to… set the records straight.” When Tony opens his eyes again, Steve is looking up at him, blue eyes solemn.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… We have only been together for a week. Well, eight days. In fact, we’ve only been on one date. And it was interrupted. By giant lizards.” Steve chuckles incredulously. 

Tony remembers that day very well. They were in the middle of dessert at Tony’s favorite Italian place when they received the call to assemble—something about giant lizards wreaking havoc in Central Park.

The lizards had green, gunky blood that got into the nooks and crannies of the suit. It had taken forever to clean.

“But Tony…” Steve gathers the material of Tony’s unbuttoned shirt in both of his fists, pulling him closer until their noses are only inches apart.

The second their eyes meet, Steve smiles the sweet, lopsided smile that never fails to make Tony’s stomach flip.

“I need you to know that… I didn’t have to date you to know that I loved you. I figured that a long time ago.”

Tony stills, breath frozen in his lungs.

“I guess, what I’m saying is… I love you too. I’ve loved you for a very long time, Tony. Even way before—” Steve breaks eye contact, looks down as he clears his throat. When he speaks again, his voice is tight. “Way before we got together. I’m talking… years before.”

Tony still finds it hard to breathe. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, the word more breath than sound. He meets Tony’s dazed gaze. “So you don’t have to worry about… jumping the gun. Not with me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“...Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony feels a lightness growing inside of him, spreading outwards to his extremities.

“Good.” Steve smiles, warm and impossibly fond.

“...Glad we’re on the same page.” Tony’s gaze drops down to Steve’s lips.

“We are.” Steve inches closer, nose brushing Tony’s. He then tilts his head ever so slightly and takes Tony’s lower lip between his, kissing him so tenderly Tony’s heart feels like it’s about to burst with it.

Steve’s warm hands slide up Tony’s naked back under his open shirt, sending goosebumps breaking across his skin. Tony buries his hands in Steve’s hair and relishes the feeling of the soft strands caught between his fingers. They stay caught up in each other for a few moments, capturing and releasing each other’s lips until the need for breath becomes too unbearable.

They break apart eventually, accompanied by soft chuckles. Steve smiles up at him, lips slick and cherry red, courtesy of Tony. He reaches up to caress Tony’s right eyebrow with the pad of his thumb, fleeting and affectionate.

“Get some rest, okay? You must be really tired. I should probably go to bed, too.”

Tony looks down at his lap, clearing his throat. “Uh, I know that we haven’t done this before, but…”

Steve waits patiently for Tony to gather his thoughts, hands stroking up and down Tony’s sides.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” Tony finds the courage to meet Steve’s eyes, holding his breath.

Steve’s blue eyes are gazing at him intently, looking at him like he’s the only person in the world worth his sole, undivided attention.

Tony swallows. “No sex. Just to sleep. If you—”

“Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“I would like that very much.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony feels his own lips slowly curve up into a smile, wide and unbridled. 

“Good.” Steve nods, lips twitching, his eyes never leaving Tony’s. 

Tony grins, feeling near giddy with delight. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

“We are, sweetheart.” Steve looks up at him, blue eyes fond and smile radiant. “We definitely are.”

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of PD: Season 2: Will’s Back...and There’s a Bomb (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 14

Jay's age: 28

Will's age: 30

"Spoke to Dad," Will said to Jay as the two brothers were sat in Jay's apartment sipping their respective beers. "Said you two barely talk. Said if it wasn't for Y/N, you probably wouldn't see him at all."

"I mean, he's not wrong." Jay shrugged.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"Not really, but you should've been here. You should've been home. Mom was dyin'. You were off partyin'."

"You left," Will said as he set his beer down and leaned forward on the couch.

"I left to fight a war. I came home. And you know why that was?" he asked rhetorically. "It was because my humvee hit an IED and me and Mouse were the only two who survived! And because Mom was sick! I came back for Mom and I came back traumatized! Nothing bad even happened to you in New York and you left two fucking days after her funeral, man!"

Luckily Will hadn't been holding his beer or he would've dropped it right then and there. "Jay, I- I never knew it was so hard for you to come Stateside again."

"Forget it. You weren't there then, what makes me think you're gonna be here now? You're probably taking off in another few days anyway, am I right? Not even gonna go see Y/N? Even though she always wants help on her math homework from you and you don't even have the decency to answer her phone calls!"

"I'm sorry that I don't have my phone on me when I'm performing surgeries, Jay!"

Jay's phone rang, stopping the argument in its tracks. "Speak of the devil," Jay mumbled and then answered the call. "Hey, Y/N, what's up?"

"I don't understand this stupid homework," you groaned from your desk in your bedroom at home. "Why do I even need to know the equation of a line, anyway? It's not like I'm even gonna use it in life anyway."

"Y/N, like I've told you numerous times, I can help you if it's a single variable problem, but anything more than that, I forgot how to do it. Not really helping your teacher's case for actually using this in life, am I?"

"Yeah, not at all. I guess I'll just try and call Will...he's not gonna answer anyway, but I guess it's worth a shot."

"Wait, how about you FaceTime me?" Jay suggested.

"Why? You already admitted that you can't help me."

"Just do it."

"Okay, gimme a few minutes. I gotta switch devices."

"Oh yeah. You don't have an iPhone yet, only an iPod and a slide phone. Sucks to be you."

"Well, I'm sorry that I don't have a grown-up job and can buy my own stuff, Jay."

"And with buying your own stuff and having a grown-up job comes bills. So, be glad you can't legally work yet."

You rolled your eyes. "I'll call you back in a few minutes. And, whatever this is, better be able to help me with this homework since math is my first class tomorrow."

"It'll help. I promise."

"Hmmm, sure." Then, you hung up and switched to your iPod, and hit the FaceTime icon.

"You look like- you look tired," Jay said when he accepted the FaceTime call. He almost said that you looked like hell, but he figured he shouldn't say that.

"Thanks," you replied sarcastically. "You would be, too, if you've been staring at the same problem on your homework for the past hour."

"What's the equation you have to work with?" Jay asked.

"Y=mx+b," you answered.

"Yeah, vaguely remember that. Don't know what it means, just remember hearing it a bunch. Will, you know what that equation is and how to do it?"

"Will's at your house? I thought he wasn't getting back for another week."

"I thought so, too. And then I got called to a bar today because he was being stupid--"

"Hey, I was not stupid!" Will protested.

"Fine. He was being dumb and tried to break up a fight. And, now I think he's got a job at Chicago Med because he got fired in New York--"

"Y/N," Will butted in, "you said you needed help with your homework?"

"Yeah."

"Jay, can you please give me the phone so I can help our little sister with her homework please?"

"Uh, fine. She'll know why you left New York eventually," Jay said as he passed his phone to his older brother.

"Eventually. But not tonight." He turned to Jay. "Can you get me a piece of paper? I'd grab it but I have no idea where you keep stuff in this little bachelor pad of yours."

"Like you didn't snoop through my stuff when I was at work," Jay joked and stood up to get Will a piece of paper.

"Y/N, for Christmas I'm getting you a subscription to Chegg so you don't need to call me for this."

"I'm holding you to that one."

***

God, I hate running on the track. It's literally just running in circles and seeing the same things over and over, no variety in the scenery whatsoever. I wish I could run with Emma, but she's way faster than me, so she's ahead of me by like one or two laps. Uh, this song sucks! I gotta skip--

"Run lockdown! Run lockdown!"

What? Run lockdown? What is the high school cross country coach talking about? Maybe it's just something that the high schoolers have to do for their drills because I sure have never heard of that one.

But then, you saw Emma jogging toward the bathrooms a few yards away from the track.

What the hell?

You ran towards the bathrooms a few yards away from the track and didn't stop until you'd caught up with Emma. "What's going on?"

"No idea. Something about a lockdown."

Once all of you and your coach, Mrs. Rivers, were safely in the bathroom with the door locked, did you get any closure about what was going on.

"There's been a bomb threat."

"What? A bomb threat?"

"What?!"

"So we can't leave?"

"Girls, I need you to be quiet, okay? The police are looking into it, but for now, the campus is on lockdown and we can't leave here until I get the all-clear. The school's already notified parents, so if someone else is picking you up today other than your parents, you need to call them. Just ask and you can use my phone. Everything's going to be okay, though. We have nothing to worry about. We just need to sit tight until I'm told we can leave." Her phone buzzed and you all held your breath. "Looks like Miss G got stuck in the boys' bathroom with all the stinky football boys."

"What if we walk home?" you asked quietly.

"If you walk home, a parent or someone else will have to pick you up since they don't want anybody walking home because, as of right now, they have no idea who did this."

***

"How's your brother doing?" Erin asked as she and Jay were standing around the coffee pot in the break room.

"Pretty sure he's going to quit the new job he just got at Med even though it's his first day," Jay answered.

"What? He got a job at Med?"

"Yeah. Apparently, they were looking for ER docs and he got the job. But, for some reason, now he wants to quit. And, he was late today. Decided to bitch to me about only having almond milk and not having any regular milk in my fridge. Like, dude, you're staying with me. You can deal with a bit of almond milk."

"I don't blame him," Erin laughed. "Almond milk is disgusting."

"But it's better for you...and cheaper."

"Of course that's your reason for getting it."

"Halstead!" Antonio yelled. "Your phone's been ringing off the hook for the last minute. I think it's important."

"Be right there!" Jay quickly poured himself a cup of coffee and then rushed over to his desk.

"Shit," he muttered.

"Who was it?" Erin asked as she emerged from the breakroom, holding her own cup of coffee.

"Y/N," he answered as he fiddled with his phone. "Called me three times in the past minute."

"Any idea what it's about?"

"No, but I'm about to find out."

"Jay!" you whisper-yelled from the other end of the line.

"Y/N, what's wrong? Why are you calling me so much? Are you sick? Do you need me to--"

"There's a bomb."

Jay almost dropped his phone. "A bomb? Are you sure?"

At the mention of a bomb, everyone's heads snapped towards him.

"Yeah, we're hiding out in the bathrooms near the football field right now until they get the all-clear," you told him. "But, they can't let people walk home from school today and Dad's not answering and it's Will's first day, so I was wondering if you could pick me up?"

"Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Do you mind if I put you on speaker for a quick second?"

"Why? I'm fine Jay, really. Just needed to know if you can pick me up."

Innocent fourteen-year-olds, Jay thought to himself. Of course, she just called to pick to see if you'd pick her up. She hasn't grasped the gravity of the situation, and she's probably thinking that this is just another story to tell. Not that if there's actually a bomb at her school that she could be dead any second if it goes off.

"You're sure you don't want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"You can go."

"Okay. Just, listen to the adult that's in there with you, okay?"

"Okay, okay. Bye."

"Bye I love--" He was cut off by the beep which signaled that you had hung up. "--you."

"What's going on? A bomb?" Erin asked, but Jay was already making his way down the stairs.

"Sarge!" Jay yelled as he made his way to the front desk.

"Well, hello to you too, Chuckles. If you're looking for Voight, he's just meeting with a CI and should back soon," Platt told him.

"Sargeant, all due respect, I don't give a damn about Voight right now. I just need to know if you have any idea about the bomb threat at Central Chicago's high school and middle school campuses?"

"I know that they sent someone from bomb squad and some patrolmen over there to see if there's anyone who seems suspicious--"

"Why wasn't Intelligence notified?"

Platt's jaw dropped and she stared at Jay for a second before speaking. "Because last I checked, detective, those schools weren't in our district--"

Jay slammed his hand down on the desk. "Jay," Erin said and grabbed her partner's arm. "I need you to calm down for a second, okay?"

"I don't need to calm down, Erin," Jay spat. "I have every reason--"

"I understand, but being pissed at Platt here isn't going to fix anything. Go back upstairs and I'll be there in a second."

Jay ripped his arm from Erin's grip and stalked upstairs, not without slamming the gate when he was safely inside the Intelligence Unit's area of the 21st District.

"What's his deal?" Platt asked. "I have half a mind to write him up for insubordination for that little scene he just caused."

"Sarge," Erin started, "the school that called in the bomb threat, that's the school Y/N goes to, Jay's little sister."

"What? I thought that only elementary school kids were at school right now?"

"That's true unless there are sports practices."

"And Y/N's in a sport, so she's at school right now." Platt put the pieces together.

"Yeah. And, I know that family isn't supposed to work cases, but could you maybe make an--"

"Erin, go grab Halstead and Dawson, get down to the school. I'll send the information upstairs to Atwater and Ruzek and they can see what they can get. I'll also call Voight and tell him to meet you there."

"Thank you, Sargeant!"

Erin jogged upstairs and into the bullpen. "Jay, Antonio, we're heading to the school! Kev and Adam, Platt said that you're working the case from up here. Voight will meet us there."

"Copy that," Kevin answered.

Jay holstered his gun and was halfway down the stairs before Kevin even finished his sentence.

***

"Kev, what do we know?" Jay asked as they were driving over to your school.

"Uh, I pulled footage from the high school's office and apparently an unknown dude walked in, asked a question, and then walked out all in the span of less than a minute," he answered.

"Can you run facial rec?"

"Nah, not a good enough angle."

"Description?"

"Dude looks Indian or Middle-Eastern to me. He's got short, black hair. Some stubble, not a ton, but it's enough that you can see it even with the bad angle I got. He's kinda chubby, too. Wearing a tan jacket. That's all I got."

"Thanks, man. That helps. Anything from bomb squad?"

"They haven't located a bomb yet, so I guess that's a good sign, right?"

"It is if there's no bomb," Jay replied. "But, just because they haven't found it, doesn't mean there's not a bomb. Whoever the hell did this could've just hid it really well or do whatever a psycho does when they want to blow up a school full of kids."

Jay relayed the information to Erin and Antonio who were also in the car and then hung up his phone. "Any word from Voight or anyone else when I was on the phone?"

"No, you want me to go to the middle school or the high school?" Erin asked.

"Wherever you can get in."

"Jay, we have badges, we can get in anywhere."

"Middle school then. I'm assuming that's where Y/N is."

"Okay."

"Wait!" Jay exclaimed, almost causing Erin to slam on the brakes. "When I was talking to Y/N earlier, she said that she was in the bathrooms near the football field so we need to go to the high school."

"You're sure it's that field? Isn't there a football field at the middle school, too?"

"That's just a shitty practice field," he answered. "Anyway, the high school football field is the only one that has bathrooms near it so that spectators can go to the bathroom when they go to the football games."

"I shouldn't have to tell you this, Jay," Antonio started, "But you can't just burst into the locker rooms and try to get Y/N out of there. No parents are allowed in or out to pick up their kids. And, you're no different. You have to wait for the all-clear to get her out of there."

Jay hated it, but Antonio was right. No matter how much he wanted to get you as far away from this campus as possible, he couldn't until the bomb squad made sure that there wasn't a bomb anywhere near here. If his time in the Rangers had taught him anything, it was that one misstep, and the whole place could get blown up in a nanosecond.

Erin started to pull into the parking lot of the high school near all the cop cars, when one turned on their sirens and pulled in front of them, effectively stopping them from getting any further.

"I know you're worried about your kids," the patrolman said once Erin rolled down her window, "But we can't let anyone in or out until this is all sorted."

"We're not parents." Erin pulled out her badge. "Detectives Lindsay, Dawson, and Halstead from the 21st District's Intelligence Unit."

He looked at the officer next to him. "Desk Sergeant from the 21st said that there'd be some detectives coming." He pushed the button on his radio before anybody could tell him otherwise. "I got the detectives from the 21st here right now."

"Copy," the person on the other end said.

Jay wanted to jump out of the vehicle and strangle that patrolman with his bare hands. "Are you fucking insane?" he yelled.

The one who keyed his radio stepped out of the patrol car, and Jay did the same. "Are you Dawson or Halstead?"

"Halstead. But you, you must be new here because if there is one thing you absolutely do not do when there's even the mention of a bomb is key your radios."

"No offense, detective," the patrolman in the driver's seat started, "but everyone here has been using their radios since we stepped onto this campus."

"There's no bomb," Erin muttered.

They all knew what the patrolman's statement meant: if they had been using their radios the entire time they were here and a bomb hadn't gone off, then there was no bomb to begin with.

Antonio and Erin both stepped out of the car now.

"Who's your sergeant?" Antonio yelled.

"Why? Why do you care?"

"Because of what he just said! You can't key your radios when there might be a bomb, so I think your whole district might need to go back in for a mandatory re-training!"

"I'll call Voight," Erin said.

"Fucking idiots," Jay muttered as he pulled out his phone.

As soon as he was about to dial your number, a call came in from Kevin. "There's no bomb," Jay said as soon as he answered, not even giving Kevin time to tell him anything.

"I mean, yeah, I was callin' to tell you that the bomb squad just declared an all-clear."

"Thanks."

"How'd you know before we even got the call here at the district?"

"They were keying their radios the entire time and nothing happened."

"Yeah, that'll do it."

"We should be back at the district soon."

Jay hung up and made his way to the bathrooms.

You were sitting in silence with Emma next to you when a banging was heard coming from outside causing you to jump.

What if that's the bomber and he's got a gun and wants to kill us before the bomb can get to us? It was irrational, yes, but it was still possible.

"Chicago PD! This is the all-clear."

It was as if everyone in the bathroom let out a collective breath at hearing that there was no bomb or that the bomb had been dismantled.

"Alright girls, you heard the man, we are good to go," Mrs. Rivers said. "Let's head back to the middle school so you can grab your stuff and start getting back to your parents. Was everyone able to get ahold of someone to pick them up? Because I can bring people home if necessary."

All of you filed out of the bathrooms and into the crisp fall air. You were barely onto the sidewalk when you got pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

"Who the--" You looked up. "Hi, Jay."

"Oh my God, you're okay. You don't know how worried I was--"

"Jay, I'm fine," you squeaked out. "But please let go. You're crushing me."

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized and then let go, not without looking you over for injuries even though you promised him that you were in fact fine.

"50-21 George, 50-21 Lincoln, 50-21 Frank, and 50-21 Squad, assistance is requested at Chicago Med for a 10-34. Are you able to assist?"

Jay's eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat.

"Jay? Jay?" you asked. "You gonna answer that?"

"This is 50-21 Lincoln, hold us down on that 10-34 at Chicago Med," Erin's voice said through the radio.

"Halstead! We gotta go now!" Antonio yelled.

"Jay, what's going on? Will's at Med. What's happening?"

"Come with me," Jay said and then started ushering you towards the car.

"Shit," Erin said when she saw you. "Antonio, you wanna go with Voight, and then me and Jay will drop her off at home? We can't exactly bring her with us."

"Yeah, good idea." Antonio turned to you. "Glad you're safe, kid."

You nodded as he jogged off to find Voight. Then, you turned back to Jay. "Why are you going to Med? Whatever it is, I wanna go with you because what if Will's hurt? I wanna go!"

Jay got in the passenger seat without answering you and you got in the backseat. Erin started driving to the middle school so that you could go get your backpack from your locker.

Once inside school and connected to the wifi, you took out your iPod and pulled up google.

What does 10-34 mean?

The answer almost caused you to drop your iPod on the tiled floor.

10-34 is a police radio signal that means that a bomb threat has been called in.

You ran to your locker and with shaking hands, put in the combination. How was Jay so calm? How was he so calm when you were silently freaking out? And, to make matters worse, he got to work the case while you were going to be stuck going home and just waiting to see if Will (and Jay for the matter since he would no doubt be in the vicinity of the blast zone) was safe, just waiting to see if your oldest brother, who you just got back, would make it out of his new workplace alive.

You hustled out of school and then got into the backseat of Erin and Jay's car. "There's a bomb threat at Med?"

"Who told you that?" Erin asked, turning around in her seat.

"I googled what 10-34 meant. Jay, please, I wanna go with you. I don't wanna go home!"

"No! I know you wanna make sure that Will's safe, and I do too, but you gotta understand that it's not safe for you there, Y/N," he pleaded.

"It's not safe for you to be there, either!" you argued.

"Y/N, I know you're scared, but I'm trained for this kind of stuff. You are not."

"Please," you begged as your lip began to tremble. "I-It'd be faster for you to just go to Med from-from here instead of dropping me off at home."

"She's got a point, Jay," Erin said.

"What? No way, Er! There is no way in hell she is going in there with us!"

"She doesn't have to go past the tape with us. Just somewhere close by." Erin turned back to you. "Would that make you feel better, Y/N? Being somewhere close by?"

You nodded as you wiped away a tear.

Jay sighed. "Fine," he relented. "We'll drop you off at Mama Garcia's to get your homework done since it's a half-block away from the hospital."

"Will's okay, right? You checked in with him?" you asked.

"I haven't yet, but I promise you when I do, I will text you. I just need you to stay calm and focus on yourself right now. It's no use worrying about Will when you can't do anything about it."

"That's what Mom used to tell me when I was worried about you when you were in Afghanistan. She always told me that it's no use worrying about it since none of us were there with you."

"See, you gotta trust what Mom always told you, kiddo. She was a smart lady after all."

***

"Tell me you're not in there," Jay spoke into his phone as he and Erin walked into the police tent-like structure equipped with fancy tech gear outside of Chicago Med's emergency department.

"I am," Will answered, causing Jay's stomach to drop. "Listen, the guy who blew himself up in here, said he had something worse than Ebola."

"What, like he's spreading it since he blew himself up?"

"Yeah, so essentially, every single one of us in here has been in contact with him."

"Who was he?"

"No idea. But do us all a favor and find out."

"Son of a bitch," Jay muttered as he pocketed his phone and entered the tent-like structure where a bunch of people, including the FBI, were sitting at computers.

"Talk to Will?" Erin asked.

"Uh, yeah," Jay answered, "he says he's in there. Apparently whoever the hell blew himself up in there was infected with something that he said was worse than Ebola."

"So if these people get out before we figure out what it is and if it's treatable, we could have an epidemic on our hands?"

"Exactly. Damn, Er. With that mind of yours, you should've gone to med school."

"Very funny, Halstead. You're looking at someone who barely graduated high school and didn't even go to the academy because being in the back of cop cars on the eastside for half my childhood was more than enough experience to qualify me for this job right here."

"I'm gonna start making some calls." Jay turned his attention back to the situation at hand. "Apparently traffic was a mess earlier and Voight and Antonio got called to headquarters to brief some higher-ups about this."

"Fat chance of them knowing anything right now. They've gotta just be trying to keep all the info away from the press." Erin's phone rang. "Speak of the devil."

"I'll call HQ and try to get some more back up to control the situation," Jay said to no one in particular.

***

You kept fiddling with your slide phone, just opening and closing it as you tried--and failed--to focus on your homework as you sat in one of the far back booths at Mama Gracia's. The news was of course playing on the tv in front of you and all the headlines were about what was happening at Med.

"Again we have word of an event at Chicago Med," the news anchor read from her script. "The CFD was able to contain the victims to the ER, but Ebola was mentioned."

Ebola? That was the disease that wreaked havoc on Africa last year.

You knew Will was a doctor and that he was smart, but if he became infected and it was in fact Ebola, what if he died? What if, since Jay was close to Med that he somehow became infected and he died, too? What if you lost both your big brothers in the same amount of time because of some psychopath who decided it was a good idea to blow himself up and put innocent people--innocent first responders--in danger.

"Ay, cariña. ¿A dónde vayas?" Mama Garcia asked as you stood up and made your way to the door, intent on exiting the small restaurant.

"¿Qúe? No entiendo," you answered. You had started taking Spanish this year, so you only understood one word of what she had said to you.

"Sorry, honey. Where are you going? Your brother said to make sure you stayed here."

You and Jay were both pretty close with Mama Garcia. Seeing as it was very close to Med, when your mom had been hospitalized for cancer years ago, you'd always come in here to get dinner. It was here that Mama Garcia had taught you all the words of the toppings that one could put on their tamales, tacos, or burritos, shocking your Spanish teacher when you told her you could tell her in Spanish exactly what you would put on your tamale when you learned about food in class.

"I'm just going for a walk," you answered. "I need some fresh air."

"Okay, don't go far," she warned.

Once out the door, you breathed a sigh of relief and started to walk towards Chicago Med.

When you got close enough, you saw a big white tent and a bunch of fire trucks. You crept to the side and started walking around the side of the building, where there were barely any people and only one cop to keep people at bay. You smiled at him and watched the scene in front of you.

You had seen of those firefighters before on a rare day that you were at the district waiting for Jay and one of them had to walk the firehouse dog, Pouch. He was super cute and all the firefighters were really nice and let you pet him!

"What is it Casey?" a deep voice bellowed.

You knew Casey! Well, you knew of him at least. He was the one that Hermann always said would write him up if he was gone too long with Pouch, so that was always the excuse he gave you when he had to leave the district to go back to the firehouse.

You couldn't hear what Casey said on the other end, but you could hear whoever this guy was talking to Casey. "Okay, we're gonna need to get some CO2 extinguishers inside."

"You mean you're out of fire extinguishers?" a woman next to the firefighters asked.

"Afraid so."

You turned on your heels and sprinted back towards Mama Garcia's. You were a girl on a mission.

"Mama Garcia! Mama Garcia!" you shouted as soon as you were inside.

"Y/N, ¿Qúe pasa?" she asked as she stuck her head out of the kitchen where she was preparing a bunch of batches of tamales.

"They're out of fire extinguishers at the hospital, do you have any that I can bring over there?"

"You are just like your brother," she said, "super sneaky."

"When you live with older brothers and have to steal their Halloween candy, you learn how to be sneaky, Mama Garcia," you joked.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you know this. There's one fire extinguisher back by the bathrooms and I've got two back here I can give you. Esperes un minuto."

You went and grabbed the fire extinguisher from the spot where it was stored in the back by the bathrooms and waited for Mama Garcia to come out with the other two.

"Thank you!" you exclaimed as you took the big bag from her which contained the two other ones. She had put them in a bag for you since they were super heavy.

You slung the bag over your shoulder and carried the other one in your hand. You knew you couldn't run because these were really heavy, but you knew you had to get to Med to help them. Both your brothers were there! And you'd get there, even if it was a lot slower than you had originally planned when you formulated this plan when you were sprinting back to the restaurant five minutes ago.

***

"Is there a detective Halstead here?" a patrolman walked into the tent-like structure and asked.

"That'd be me," Jay answered as he raised his hand and turned away from the computer screen he had been looking at.

"There's a girl outside, Y/N I think she said her name was. Said you're her brother and that she's looking for you. Said she might be able to help."

Jay turned to Erin. "Go," she urged him.

Jay followed the patrol officer to where you were standing and to say he didn't look happy would be an understatement.

"I thought I told you to stay at Mama Garcia's!" he yelled over the crowd of people and the firefighters shouting out orders to each other. "It's dangerous for you here!"

"I know and I'm sorry! But, I came here to see if Will was outside, and I heard that one firefighter talking into his radio thingy, and then the lady next to him said that they were out of fire extinguishers."

Jay crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was not impressed.

"So I ran back to Mama Garcia's and I grabbed these." You held up the fire extinguisher that you had set on the ground next to you because you had been carrying it for a while now and you thought it was going to rip your arm off because of how heavy it was.

"Let her in," Jay declared.

He grabbed the extinguisher from you and then made his way over to the firefighters.

"Chief!" he yelled. "I've got some fire extinguishers here!"

Chief Boden cocked his head to the side. "How?"

"Apparently my little sister was here and she heard Ms. Goodwin say that you were out of extinguishers. So, she ran to Mama Garcia's and these are from her restaurant."

You set down the bag that contained the two fire extinguishers. "Geez, those things are heavy!"

"That they are. Thank you for these..." Chief Boden trailed off, not knowing your name.

"Y/N," you answered.

"Well, thank you Y/N."

"You're welcome, Chief. Please get my brother out of there safely."

"We're doing our best. And, call me Wallace."

He nodded at Jay and Jay placed a hand on your shoulder to lead you back to where he had been working alongside everyone else who wanted to figure out what the hell had gone on in there. Behind you, you heard the other firefighters volunteering to go inside the hospital.

"You're not making me go back to Mama Garcia's?" you asked Jay as you walked.

"No," he answered. "It's gonna get dark soon and I don't need you sneaking off from there again."

"So, I'm staying here so you can keep an eye on me?"

"Precisely."

***

You were sitting in a metal folding chair, scrolling through your iPod--wifi courtesy of Jay's hotspot--when three people entered the tent-like structure.

"Detective," Sharon Goodwin said as she entered the area where everyone was working. Jay looked up from the computer he was working at. "The parents of..." she trailed off, allowing you to assume that these were the parents of the man who had blown himself up.

"Alright," Jay said as he walked over to them. "Please, have a seat."

His voice was monotonous, not soft like when he was talking to child victims and not angry like when he was trying to get a hardened criminal to break. His voice, it was just...there.

"Is there anything you can tell us?" he asked once the parents had sat down.

"He was a smart boy," the man started, "always nice...and helpful. This country has given us so much. How could this have happened?"

"He claimed to be infected with something similar to Ebola."

You felt like you couldn't breathe. So, what the woman on the news had said was true. Your brother--and everyone else in the hospital for that matter--could be infected with something similar--or god forbid, worse--than Ebola.

You couldn't take another funeral. You couldn't take losing another family member before you even learned how to drive, hell before you even got to high school.

Your mind flashed back to when you were four years old. Will was in college and Jay was in his senior year of high school. It was springtime and the weather was just starting to get nice out.

You woke up from sleeping and realized you were thirsty. Seeing as you didn't think it was super late yet, you hoped that maybe Jay or Will would still be up and they'd give you a cup of juice. They were on babysitting duty tonight because your parents had gone out for a date night and knew they wouldn't be back until the early hours of the morning.

With Beary gripped tightly in your hand, you walked down the hallway and towards the kitchen. You saw the living room light on, and then it was quickly turned off.

"Mommy? Daddy?" you asked.

The only light now was from the hallway and you were starting to get scared. Monsters would come out if it was too dark!

Suddenly, the light was flicked back on.

"Y/N, what are you doing up?" Jay asked as he walked towards you.

"I want juice," you told him. But, then you looked at what he was wearing. He was wearing one of those shirts that he had to wear when you and your mom went to his soccer games at other schools. Jay always said that if he didn't wear this type of nice shirt, that he and his team would have to run suicides. You didn't know what those were, but they didn't sound nice. "Why you not in your 'jamas?" you asked. "You have a game? In the dark?"

"Uh," Jay blanched. He couldn't exactly tell his little, very talkative sister, that he was sneaking out to go to a party. "Let's get you some juice."

"Okay!"

Jay got you some juice and started to take your hand to walk you back to your room and tuck you back in when you turned to look at him. "So you going to play soccer? Or you going to see Allie?" He always wore those kinds of shirts when she came over in one of her really fancy dresses. And, Jay would give Allie a flower bracelet, too!

Jay crouched down so he was eye-level with you. "Y/N, you know what a secret is?"

"Yeah! It's when you can't tell somethin' to somebody. Mommy said secrets are bad," you told him, while you swung Beary back and forth in your little hand.

"Well, they're not all bad," he told you. "So, if I told you a secret, you'd be able to keep it?"

"And not tell Mommy or Daddy?" He nodded. "I dunno. I don't wanna get in trouble and have to go in time-out, Jay Jay."

"You won't get in trouble, I promise. And, if you promise not to tell Mommy and Daddy and Will, I'll get you a big pack of Oreos."

"I get Oreos for not telling Mommy and Daddy and Will?"

"Yes, you get Oreos if you don't tell them."

You'd do just about anything for Oreos!

"Okay, I keep it a secret. Where you going?"

"I am going to a friend's house to hang out."

"Okay." You didn't know what was so bad about that, but you wanted to get your Oreos, so you'd keep your mouth shut.

"Alrighty then, let's get you back to bed. Because, if I'm not mistaken, princesses need their beauty sleep."

He tucked you back into bed and got out of the house safely. Now all Jay had to do was to entrust you with the secret that he had snuck and went to a "friend's house", which was code for going to a party.

You had almost fallen back asleep when your door creaked open.

"Y/N," Will whispered.

"Will?"

"Yeah, it's Will," he answered and flicked on your bedside lamp.

"Were you talking to Jay a few minutes ago?"

"No," you lied. You wanted your Oreos!

"Are you sure about that? Because I could've sworn I heard you say Jay Jay."

"You wrong," you told him defiantly.

"Oh yeah? Because I heard him mention Oreos."

"No, no Oreos. He only got me juice."

"So you did talk to him."

"No, I didn't."

"Then who got you the juice?" Will knew you couldn't pour yourself a glass of juice without spilling it everywhere. He also knew that the glasses were up high enough in the cupboard that you needed someone else to reach them for you.

"Uh, uh, the-the juice fairy!"

"The juice fairy, huh? I've never heard of her. Because I could've sworn I heard you ask him if he was going to play soccer and he told you that he was going to a friend's house."

"No, he didn't!" you protested.

"Tell you what, kiddo, if you tell me where Jay went, I will give you Oreos, too."

You furrowed your eyebrows. Will was gonna give you the same thing and Jay might be mad at you. You needed something more. "Oreos and Sour Patch."

"Deal. Sour Patch Kids or watermelons?"

"Kids," you answered.

"Okay, it's a deal. Now, where is Jay going?"

"He went to a friend's house. But he was wearing one of those shirts he wears when he has to go to other schools for soccer," you answered.

"He's going to a party," Will muttered.

"A party? Like my tea parties?"

"Something like that." Where the tea is beer, Will thought to himself. "But, now you have to wait for Jay to give you your Oreos, and then I'll give you your Sour Patch Kids and Oreos."

"Then I have two Oreos?"

"Exactly. Now, time to go back to sleep."

The next day, Jay gave you a family sized-pack of Oreos that you hid in your room. The day after that, Will came home from studying at the library with a family-sized pack of Oreos and a big bag of Sour Patch Kids for you that you also ended up hiding in your room. And, that night at dinner, Will told your parents that Jay had gone to a party. He was grounded until the end of soccer season. But, Will had successfully taught you how to blackmail someone.

"Y/N." Erin's voice broke through your memories of being a little kid and being taught blackmail by your oldest brother. "I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?"

"W-What if Will-- What if he gets the--"

"Y/N, match my breathing."

She took a deep breath in and you tried to follow. It took a few tries, but your breathing eventually evened out and returned to normal.

"Will," you heard Jay say.

Before you could even think, you had jumped off your chair and were barrelling towards Jay. "Will? You're talking to Will? Is he okay? Is he gonna come out soon?"

"Y/N," Jay spoke calmly, "we just need to ask him some medical questions. Go back to where you were."

"Is he okay?"

"Y/N's here?" Will asked from his spot in the ED. "Why? How?"

"It's a long story. But, I'm gonna put you on speaker so that you can tell her that you're okay and then I need you to answer some questions."

Jay put the phone on speaker.

"I'm fine, kiddo. Really. You wouldn't want to see me right now anyway. You wouldn't want to come in here either because it smells really bad."

"You promise you're fine?"

"I promise. Now, I think I need to answer some questions?"

"Yeah, yeah," you heard Jay say as you walked back towards Erin. It was quiet in there now, as everyone was listening intently to what Will was saying.

Apparently, Antonio and Voight had looked up where this psycho worked and had figured out that he was the same guy who had walked into the high school's office earlier that day, which he probably did for a distraction. Now, they just had Will on the other end telling the infectious disease specialist in the ED all the chemicals that he had been working with so that she could test for them.

***

"Jay! Why'd you turn off your hotspot?" you whined as you pulled up google.

"Because you heard the bacteria and the strain and I know you. I am not letting you go down a google rabbit hole to look this up and try and figure out if Will's gonna die."

You sighed and put your head in your hands. Jay was right, of course, he was right, he's a detective for crying out loud!

"But what if Will's gonna die?"

"Y/N." Jay walked up to you. "He's not gonna die. He's gonna be just fine."

"But you don't know that!"

Jay's phone rang. "It's Will."

"Put it on speaker."

"It's not contagious," Will said.

If you weren't sitting down, you would've fallen to the ground in pure relief.

"So, you're good?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Everyone's good. Whatever he had, it died with him. I've got some patients that need work, but I'll be out soon."

***

Everyone from the hospital, the police, and the firefighters were all currently packed into Mama Garcia's. You, Will, and Jay had snagged a booth because your backpack and homework were still there from earlier.

"That's one good thing about being the middle child I guess," Jay stated after he had taken a bite of a tamale. "Not having to be the victim in one of these bomb situations."

You knew he meant, here, today, in Chicago and not overseas. And, you weren't about to wreck his joke by mentioning that.

"Yeah, but you had to work it," Will pointed out.

"Technically, you did, too, man. I think Y/N was the only one who got out of this without a payday."

Jay's phone rang. "Why's Dad calling me?" His eyes went wide. "Oh shit! I didn't tell him that I picked you up from practice." He threw his phone to Will, who narrowly caught it. "You talk to him!"

"Me? Why me?"

"Because he likes you better!"

"But he's calling you!"

You swiped the phone from Will's hand and answered it. "Jay? Do you know where Y/N is? I came home from work and--"

"Dad, it's Y/N. I'm fine. Jay picked me up from practice and I'm assuming you got a phone call about what happened at school and then he had to go to Med to work that case."

"Med? As in Chicago Med? Where Will just started working?"

"Yes, Dad, Chicago Med. And, we're fine. We're just a Mama Garcia's getting dinner."

"It's ten o'clock at night!"

"I know, and we should be home soon. I promise I won't complain about getting up in the morning."

"Okay, well, I'm glad you three are safe. Just next time, tell Jay to call me."

"Okay, Dad. Bye, love you."

"Love you, too."

You hung up the phone and passed it back to Jay. "He didn't disown me, did he?"

You laughed. "No, no he did not."

"Y/N, right?"

You looked up at the sound of your name to be met with a firefighter.

"Yes, and you are...?"

"Matt Casey." He stuck out his hand for you to shake and you did so. Despite hearing about him, you'd never actually met the lieutenant. "Chief Boden mentioned that you were the one who ran down to Med with all those extinguishers."

"Oh, it was no big deal," you told him shyly. "They're actually Mama Garcia's. I just heard you needed them, so I asked if I could run them over to you guys. It's her you should be thanking."

"Well, you played a big part in that. So, if you want a dessert, on behalf of me and all the guys at 51, it's on me tonight."

He handed you a ten-dollar bill. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. You made up for your brother almost black-tagging Severide."

"You did what?" Jay practically yelled.

As for you, you had no idea what they were talking about. "What? What's black-tagging?"

"You know what? Never mind," Casey said. "Thanks for all your help today, you guys."

"You were the ones who got them extra fire extinguishers?" Will asked, flabbergasted after Casey walked away.

"Yeah. Jay here wasn't too happy about seeing me over there, but when I told him why he calmed down a bit."

Erin slid into the booth next to Jay and he gave her a kiss.

"Ew, guys! Child in the room!"

Jay stuck his tongue out at you.

"I think he's the child in the room, Y/N," Erin said as she thumbed at Jay.

"So, Y/N, anything else interesting happen today? How'd you do on that math homework I helped you with last night?" Will asked.

"I did really well on it, but that's not even the craziest thing that happened at school today."

"Oh, yeah? Then what was?"

Oh man," you sighed. "Where do I begin? I think to tell you that story I'm gonna need to go get me some Flan."

You picked up the ten-dollar bill Casey had given you and slid out of the booth. If someone would've told you that you'd be buying Flan at Mama Garcia's at ten o'clock at night on a school night, you wouldn't believe them, but it would be plausible at least. The rest of the day? Well, you weren't sure that anyone would believe that you and Jay had been at the location of not one, but two bomb threats in the span of a few hours.

Once you got your Flan, you settled back into the booth. "So, it started out like any normal practice except we had to go to the high school to use the track..."

A/N: Guess who cranked out more than 5k words to get this finished today? That's right, me! Anyway, thank you for almost 8k reads! I know this technically wasn't a PD episode (It was Chicago Fire Season 3 Ep 19), but it had both Will and Jay, and the timeline made it so that it was season 2 of PD, so I thought it was fitting. Finally, please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think about this one!

If you’re in the taglist, please tell me if it worked, I’m new at this!

taglist:  @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox

[stellocchia]

This is part 2 of the comprehensive analysis of c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship during the Exile Arc

Part 1

So, initially I was thinking of making only one post with only the important quotes from this streams but... yeah, not saying what I think about stuff is not in my blood. So now I’m stuck with this and I’m determined to finish it!

Once again, it’s all about the characters from here on out and I will be mentioning serious themes of abuse and gaslighting, so keep that in mind.

We’re starting this one off with the second proper exile stream: Tommy Is Getting So Much Worse in Exile...

Mushroom Henry is introduced at the beginning of this vod. Initially Tommy doesn’t like him, believing him to be a poor replacement of the real Henry. He then goes towards Tnret and finds it compromised as Lazarbeam had planted some tnt under it the day before during a visit with Vikstar and Technoblade (now, how much of that visit was canon? No one knows! But the tnt part definitely was). Also to be noted that Tommy already stopped fighting back against mobs, which is already rather worrying. 

Anyway, this is the stream where Tommy makes an enderchest with Fundy and Ranboo, so I will only write down some of the most notable quotes, and keep it rather brief. It is to be noted that Tommy’s depression at this point had already gotten worse as in the Nether time and time again he avoids doing the haybell mlg instead taking the full fall damage, he defends himself less and he’s already expressing feelings of loneliness. Also, he is now on the first stage of the exile skin set.

“Because if we can’t stay motivated then- then we won’t have anything to do (...) we’re gonna work out how to Keep Doing Things and not... sit around crying” (he has the need to keep busy to stave off loneliness)

“Now everyone, if you should know, we’re gonna go bach and reclaim everything at some point and kill Dream” (talking to chat)

“Music! It’s like a person but they’re not here!” (about Chirp)

“This is like, you know when you fall over? Or you know- or you know when one of your pets die? At school? And then all of a sudden you’re at school and you’re upset and all the people who are usually assholes to you start being nice all of a sudden. This is that!” 

This was quite interesting, so I want to talk about it briefly: but this is Tommy’s general mentality. He sees anyone trying to help him or giving him things as just pity from people who don’t actually care nor necessarily even like him. Basically, he feels betrayed and alone and doesn’t actually think that any of this people could possibly care. This however doesn’t seem like a mentality that’s born from exile (since he’s had it since the very beginning of exile) and we don’t actually know where it generated from. Though it could possibly be from the fact that he always had to be very independent since he had to fight in quite a few wars and even take the leading position in the Pogtopia times.

Other note: this is when Ranboo starts leaving letters for Tommy (You can find Tommy and Ranboo's mail exchanges here). At the beginning the chest they used to exchange them was situated on the Nether side of the original portal, which was a ruined portal a bit further away from Tommy’s camp. Also Tommy dies in lava (not canonically) a ton of times in this one and Fundy every times gives him some of his stuff to pretend like nothing got burned (which was kinda adorable).

“Fundy why didn’t you come with me when I got exiled? I was meaning to ask you. ‘Cause no-one came with me” “No-one came with you because it was- *sigh* Tommy I don’t know! It was- it was a shock to all of us” “You could have came with- yeah, but you just let me go. You just let go on me Fundy” “And- and just leave L’Manburg to Tubbo himself? Like all alone?” “No he would have had like literally everyone else on this server” “Like who?” (I just found this exchange interesting)

“I don’t think you’ll like it but Dream is uh, kind of proud of Tubbo. He- he’s actually acknowledging L’Manburg as a new country now” (and this is what the other side of the manipulation looked like from the outside)

“Wait wait! I could talk to the narrator! Then I’d finally have a friend!” (proceeds to start talking to the narrator)

“No no no. No no no Ranboo. Stop- stop complaining. Stop being weird Ranboo. You should be honoured to have a friend that’s close enough that he shoots you” “I don’t think that’s a ‘friend’, I think that’s just an assassin” (Ranboo with the common sense)

“This is where I used to live and then Dream tore it down” “Why did Dream tear it down?” “*sigh* I don’t know”

"Look guys: this is the song of a female astronaut named Clara” (about Chirp)

The vod ends with Tommy and Ghostbur’s attempt at saving Lazarbeam from lava and Ghostbur gifting Tommy the “Your Tubbo” compass.

Moving on: Tommy Is So Lonely in Exile with Dream

This is actually the first stream where Tommy starts off drowning (and he actually dies, yet again, non canonically). Also Puffy gifts him some blue wool, 3 diamonds and his own Christmas tree, specifying that it’s not out of pity so he actually accepts the present. 

“We’ve got some things to do. I’m still feeling um... I’m not feeling I AM very very very alone. Just- just so- just lonely all of the time... which isn’t, you know? Isn’t okay. I don’t know why I was at the bottom of the ocean just holding a bone”

Now, a bit to unpack here. In real time by now it had been 3-4 days technically, but in rp it has been specified already multiple times that it had been quite a few days since Tommy got exiled and we don’t really have any reason to believe that he received any more visits then what we’ve seen. Which probably increased his loneliness. Also we don’t have an actual explaination for him waking up drowning, my best guess for it is a mix of him being suicidal and general depression making it hard to get any proper rest (which we know was the case for him since he did mention at one point that he “didn’t sleep anymore”) which could have caused him to start sleepwalking since both “not getting enough sleep” and “stress and anxiety” are listed as causes of it. Now the actual subconcious reason as to why he was going in the sea and letting himself drown is unknown but, again, he was suicidal while in exile.

Also “How to Sex 2″ got burned by Ghostbur, not volountarily of course, he just had it on him when he died in lava. 

“I’m too lonely to be angry now, alright? We got to appreciate all the friends that we can get” (about Lazarbeam bringing him a present)

“The compass is nice though! We’ve got a compass that always will point to Tubbo... not that- not that he’d care” (beginning of the doubts about his old friends)

“Tubbo has one too? [referring to the compass] Oh he’ll just- if he’s got one he’s just using it for show... he’s- I’ve accepted that he’s the president now and I’m just- I’m just that guy he had to exile to show how powerful he was” (again, doubts)

Also Tommy makes his first path to Logstedshire in this stream. He also takes a liking to Mushroom Henry here after figuring out he could produce mushroom soup, meaning he actually had a sustainable source of food instead of having to relay mostly on handouts. 

“Guys we need some more coal” *Dream joins the game* “...ooooooh no please don’t come and visit me. Please please please” (I’m leaving this here, I believe this reaction speaks for itself)

“Hey! I’m- I’m above right now by the pretty Christmas tree that there is here” “Why are you here?” “I’m visiting you!” “Last time you said that you ruined me” “I- How did I ruin you?” “*sigh* Hi Dream!” “Hello~” “What have you- what” “Where are you at?” “I’m just com- why are you here? Every time you’ve been here you’ve done something destructive” “I- I what- I haven’t done anything destructive... everything’s been fine! I haven’t destroyed anything”

At the time there were a lot of people who were hesitant at calling Dream’s manipulation “gaslighting”, as that is a precise type of manipulation, but this right here? This is an example of gaslighting. Dream destroyed everything Tommy had every time he visited him and they both know this, still what Dream is trying to do here is convince Tommy that that never happened to keep up his friendly facade. Just because he isn’t saying directly “you can’t trust what you remember” doesn’t mean that that’s not exactly what he is implying. To reiterate this point they meet up right after and Dream, once again, blows up Tommy’s armour and diamond sword: 

“Hello~ take your armour off” “Why should I take my armour off?” “Um, drop it down here” “No, no! I worked really hard to get this. No!” “Okay... you can get it again!” “No! See this is what I told you about, that you’re destructive to me” “Tommy I’m not destructive... but, listen, you gotta drop it” (...) “No, no! I’m a rebellious teenager. I don’t listen to green punks” *Dream hits Tommy with an axe* “*screams* Okay okay okay okay okay”

Again, Dream hitting Tommy in this case is portrayed as physical abuse. And then Dream goes back to acting as if nothing ever happened, going on to talk about his day, telling Tommy that he knows about the 2 compasses and telling him that Tubbo went over while Tommy wasn’t there and that he is free to visit Tommy, he just hasn’t done it yet (all of this are actually true, but the implication that Tubbo didn’t want to see Tommy obviously isn’t). 

“Dream, I think I’ve realized why no-one’s came to see me” “Why’s that?” “It’s because- it’s because there is not an easy way to get to me and I’m gonna make an easy way to get to me today” “I mean, if you boat here, it took me 2 minutes” “No no-one wants to use the boat, it’s too far- it’s too far for people” “Oh you know what Tommy? I’ll do you a favour”

This is when Dream moves Tommy’s portal. Now, one thing that I want to point out is that Dream had already intercepted Ranboo’s and Tommy’s first mail book (we know this because in Ranboo’s message at the beginning of this stream he said that the first one disappeared) so he probably knew that Ranboo was using the secrecy of the further away portal to communicate with Tommy undetected. Of course Dream can’t have that, though he probably didn’t account for Ranboo not giving up that easily.

“Well it’s very awkward considering you exiled me and- and have banished me from being around all of my friends and now are trying to side with me it’s kinda-” “Tommy what’d you mean from all your friends? I’m your friend!” “Yeah... yeah you are” “I am your friend Tommy~” “Yeah I- Yeeeeeah, Dream” (just to clarify: Tommy is not agreeing with Dream here, he is being sarcastic. Also Dream starts harping a bit more on this point from here on out)

“Oh I just witnessed another suicide...” (second time this happens, the first was in the last vod, and he stays staring at the lava for a moment)

Tommy once again trying to push Dream into lava (again similarly to how he did in the first proper exile stream) and Dream just goes along with it (mostly just to flex about how that can’t actually kill him). I consider this couple of times as the first times Tommy started lashing out in exile. 

“Health and safety is important Dream! *staring at lava* Is it though?” “Yes, yes it’s important Tommy. It’s not your time to die”

“And then you’re coming over here giving me shit and also burning my shit. You’re just- you’re just a monster” “I didn’t burn any of your shit” “You blew it up! You exploded it! Man you’re ruining my life...” “I blew it up, I didn’t burn it though” (because that makes all the difference of course...)

“Hey man I could jump and you’d be able to do nothing about it and I’d- I’d be done-zo” “I- I ask you please not to” “Okay” “I need you alive and well”

Now I found this interesting when first watching as well, but Dream really did spell it out for us that he actually needed Tommy, huh? Like, in retrospect, what Dream then intended to do in the Season 2 Finale seemed kind of obvious. Also after that They have a discussion about the enderchest, but Tommy gets to keep it. Also Ranboo appears at the portal, though Dream doesn’t manage to see who it is and Ranboo manages to escape before he sees (thanks in part to Tommy distracting Dream). Now I want to point out that, even if outwardly people had the permission to visit Tommy, the fact that everyone was so scared about Dream finding out about it talks volume about how clear that was. Also this is when Dream gives Tommy the general direction of Technoblade’s cabin.

“Look at us go... hey why don’t you just un-exile me, you know? You know?” “*laughs* Well I think that I- I- I think that maybe there is a possibility at least in the- in the future that you could- you could- you know? Get a visitor’s pass...” (notice that he only confirmed a possibility for a visitor’s pass, not for actually going back, Dream literally never meant for Tommy to go back permanently)

Lazarbeam arrives to visit Tommy at this point to gift him Far and a fire resistence potion.

“See I told you! It was because I didn’t have a bridge that nobody was coming to visit me Dream! It wasn’t because it was me” “Yeah it must be...”

“Hey Dream come and listen to this man! [talking about Far]” “I-I’m-” “Hey, promise you won’t- If I get a new disc you wouldn’t mind would you?” “No I wouldn’t” “Okay, come and listen. I trust you now, now we’ve bonded” (Is this the second time Tommy invites Dream to listen to a disc with him?)

At this point Dream pressures Lazarbeam to mug Tommy with him and the whole scene is just pretty weird, but it boils down to Dream blowing Tommy’s armour up (again), while also hitting him a bit more when he doesn’t immediately comply (basically making this humiliating and making Tommy understand that he is not any safer with someone else there). Though Tommy does end up lashing out and killing Lazarbeam (not canonically) and Dream destroys his enderchest in retaliation. After that Tommy does become more submissive, not wanting to get killed. Now I want to point out that that same day Dream had agreed that Tommy could keep his enderchest without any conditions to it, but, of course, Dream’s rules are constantly changing. Dream does leave after that for a bit.

“I put your enderchest back by the way Tommy” “Really?” “Yeah. I just wanted to prevent you from putting his armour in there so... that’s why I broke it” “Thank you! Thank you” “You’re welcome” 

Wanna know why this is bullshit? Tommy didn’t even try to go towards the enderchest when he had Lazarbeam’s armour and immediately gave it up at Dream’s request. This is just Dream giving Tommy a “reward” for being compliant after punishing him. Also pointing out the fact that Tommy felt compelled to thank Dream even if Dream was the one who caused the issue he just fixed in the first place. Also Connor arrives as well.

“Yeah you can’t move into my home Connor” “Well I mean, of course he can because it’s not your home because you’re not going back” “What do you mean I’m not going back?” “Well as I said maybe potentially you could get a visitors pass” (reiterating a point from the start)

“Tubbo- Tubbo said that! Tubbo said it [the server] looked so much better since Tommy left. And I was like ‘wait what?’ and he’s like: ‘yeah it could be a coincidence though but I don’t think so'” (you manipulative green bastard)

“I don’t know if you know this but I’ve been constructing a- a uh- a prison and it is ginormous so...” (I did not remember Dream mentioning the prison this early on)

Anyway, the stream ends with Dream stripping for primes and since I need it, I decided that that’s canon.

[carryon-anon-fest]

ART

I Just Wanna Dance With You (G)

The Prom AU

Firebreathing Simon (G)

Make A Wish (G)

G/T+

The Best Laid Plans of Magazines and Men (T)

Helping Baz learn to flirt with Simon in a healthy way seemed like a brilliant idea. Unfortunately, Dev and Niall's plans and their friend's capabilities are a bit of a mismatch. 'A bit' being an egregious understatement. Hilarity, predictably, ensues.

Craziest Season (T)

Baz is bringing Simon home for Christmas this year, so he can finally meet his family. The catch? Baz is not out to any of them yet, contrary to what Simon originally believed. They end up pretending to be just roommates, but it's fine, really. It's only for five days. What can possibly go wrong in only five days? (Everything, apparently.)

When We Fight We Fight Like Lions (But Then We Love and Feel the Truth) (T)

Simon and Baz are secret agents, working for W.A.T.F.O.R.D (the Worldwide Agency for Threat Flagging Operations, Reconnaissance and Defence) They have to go on their biggest mission yet, to infiltrate a top-secret weapons convention. The only problem is, they have to do it under the cover of a newly-wed couple...

The One My Soul Loves (T)

The “Worst Chosen One” has a gift for technology. What if that had been encouraged instead? This time, he and Penny stop the Humdrum before eighth year. Simon finally has time for his dream project: a soulmate finder app. Others find love, but Simon’s match won’t download the app. Can he find peace with this? Why is Baz acting strange? What will happen when an unhappy user curses Simon, driving up the stakes to find his soulmate?

Classroom Politics (T)

At twenty-five, Simon Snow’s life is finally on the up. He’s got his magic back, people listen to him, and he can draw the Sword of Mages. A lot of people think he should lead the Coven. But not everyone. The Old Families still see Simon as their enemy and they’re quite willing to quote obscure magickal law to stop him ascending to Mage. Simon’s never backed down from a challenge, though, or let anyone stop him doing what he needs to do. He’s not starting now. Even if it means going back to school.

However Souls Are Made (Ours Are the Same) (T)

Fiona wants to come out and shock her parents, so she enlists Ebb to help. Ebb agrees to fake-date Fiona for the hols—they're best friends, aren't they? She can help Fiona out a bit. Except Ebb has been half in love for years and Fiona is plotting, as is the Pitch way.

Why We're No Longer Allowed to Do Boardgame Nights (T)

After a disaster on the night of 2 February 2019, I have decided to conduct a report to look into a case that ended horribly, after starting as a simple boardgame night. This report is constructed entirely of witness statements. Let’s begin. (Aka, The Gang decide to have a night of Monopoly, Twister and other such things, and it goes tits up)

The Kind of Love I Want (G)

An awkward conversation between Simon and Agatha leads to new revelations and a friendship reborn.

Happier Memories (G)

In which Simon decides to plan, and Baz decides to do something impulsive.

Here, Kitty-Kitty... (G)

Simon adopts a cat. Baz pretends to hate him. It's probably safer for everyone this way...

In the Middle (T)

Simon should be overjoyed at his Penelope's engagement, the second of his sisters to be so fortunate, but all he can think about is Mr Grimm-Pitch. He fears he has ruined the greatest chance of happiness he could ever have hoped for.

Today Is Tomorrow (T)

Simon Snow's having the worst day of his life... over and over and over again.

Mirror, Mirror (T)

For all the Mage's claims that Simon Snow was the World of Mages' prophesied savior, the Humdrum certainly wasn't the only danger their world faced and Simon certainly wouldn't save the world alone.

The Coolest Part (By Far) (G)

When Penny leaves for a study trip, Simon and Baz are left all alone. And who can blame them for getting a kitten? In their defense, they were left unsupervised.

Hallmark Presents: Amid the Winter's Snow (T)

Big city businessman Baz Pitch just wants to get the promotion he's been gunning for. When he travels to his quaint hometown for Christmas, he (literally) runs into the most handsome man he's ever seen and ruins his day. Thus begins the animosity of a lifetime as the town prepares for the annual Christmas Eve Ball. Baz never asked for love. And he definitely never asked to discover the True Meaning of Christmas.

How I Find Myself Without You (T)

At a dinner party with friends, Penny, Shepard, and Agatha come clean about their relationship...and about where Agatha's been living all this time.

If You Wanna Be My Lover (T)

It's the week before graduation, and former roommates Simon and Baz run into each other at a particularly lively karaoke night. In between terrible renditions of "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Mr. Brightside," they just might begin to realize what it is that they really really want.

NSFW FICS BELOW:

So Close, We've Always Been (E)

Simon Snow has worked in security for most of his life, having dealt with some of the most difficult clients. None has come as close to being as frustrating as Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. The man is stuck-up, arrogant, and a complete arsehole. He's rude, careless, and Simon really should have quit months ago. Until there's something more that keeps him by Baz's side... Namely him being the best shag Simon's ever had. He may insist that the nights with Baz mean nothing, but not even he can prevent the feelings that start to flicker beneath the sheets.

Hard to Get (M)

Dev needs a favour. Baz agrees despite his better judgment. Because it really wouldn't matter to anyone, especially not to Simon Snow Salisbury. Or would it?

Kiss Him, Then Go. (E)

Tomorrow morning, Simon Snow will face his lifelong nemesis on the battlefield. But tonight, he sneaks into the Pitch family compound, and seeks out his former roommate.

Feed Me I Live (Drink I Die) (M)

Off the sofa, out of the flat. That's Baz's only goal when he brings Simon along with him to a house Fiona discovered on her vampire hunt across the country. There was only supposed to be books there. Baz knows books. Simon knows how hungry creatures grow.

Midlife Crisis (E)

Following his midlife crisis, Baz finds himself in the middle of the countryside. It’s plenty annoying as it is, without the trouble of him meeting the local constable Simon Snow, whom he somehow finds attractive. But that is only due to the bloody fresh air, right? Not in one hundred years would Baz fall for someone like him.

[amazingmaeve]

All to well ↠ Fred Weasley

━ “can i come over. i need to talk to you.”

summary ━ y/n and fred had an amazing relationship during there time at hogwarts. then he broke up with her then left. fred ends up calling y/n one night after the war because of his nightmares.

warnings ━ angst, insomnia, mentions of the war, depression, and fluff

a/n ━ some what based on all to well by taylor swift. also can relate to the dad part of the story.

word count ━ 6.2k

Ever since Y/N was young her fathers been her hero.

When she fell off her bike, her dad was there to swoop in and save the day. He put a bandage on her sore and kissed her forehead, reassuring her while she cried against his chest.

That was one she was 5.

After Y/N had gotten done with her tonsils being taken out. He was there holding her hand throughout it all. Her mom was there and Y/N was close to her but Y/N was an extreme daddy’s girl.

Her dad was there for when she got into Hogwarts and helped her with everything in her first year.

Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

When Y/N got back for Christmas she noticed how distant her dad was. He didn’t come in and read her a bedtime story or even to say good night.

Her mom was the one to do that. Y/N noted that she had bags under her eyes and even being 11 years old she could see how stressed her mom was.

Her mom reassured her everything was fine. But she didn’t believe her because one night during Christmas break, her mom and dad got into a huge argument. They were screaming and yelling at each other while Y/N stayed up stairs right by her door, tears strolling down her eyes listening to the people, who she thought loved each other so much, argue.

Y/N came out of the room with the stuffed animal her dad got for her fourth birthday, tears stinging her eyes. She heard someone come up the stairs loudly and angrily.

She looked up and saw her dad look straight at her and walk past her to her parents room. Y/N’s lip quivered as she saw her dad get his suitcase and pack everything, walked past her without even looking at her. He didn’t even say goodbye.

Y/N flinched as the door slammed and she heard her mother sob down stairs.

Y/N slowly walked down stairs hugging her bear to her chest. She saw her mom crying on the couch, tears coming out at a fast pace.

“Mommy,” Y/N voice wavered as she said it. Her mom's trembling body turned towards her with a shocked look. She tried wiping the tears so her daughter didn’t see as she walked up to her.

“Sweetie what are you doing up,” She asked, kneeling down next to her.

“Where’s daddy,” Y/N asked as her tearful expression brought some tears to her mothers eyes.

“It’s just us now baby,” Her mother wiped some tears away from Y/N’s eyes as they kept coming. Her mom's arms came to wrap around her hugging her while Y/N cried.

That’s when Y/N could never trust any man. Her father made such an imprint on her life that it made her not want to trust anyone. She was willing to give up love for it.

Christmas came the next day just Y/N and her mom and that’s all she needed.

For the next 5 years Y/N had to stay strong for her mom when she was at home. Y/N heard her mom cry herself to sleep when she was home and it broke her head. She hates her dad for what she did not only to her but to her mom.

Y/N stayed lonely for the next 5 years not wanting to get attached to anyone and break down again. It got lonely at some times but it helped with her studies.

Her mom was proud of Y/N. She’s got good grades and is even a prefect. She's everything she wanted her to be.

As Y/N walked down the halls doing her prefect duties as she noticed the Weasley twins playing around probably going to prank someone. Y/N rolls her eyes, she doesn’t know the Weasley twins all she knows is that they cause trouble and Y/N hates that.

“Weasley,” Y/N sneered walking up to the twins who had feared expressions on their faces.

“Actually Weasleys,” Fred corrected her with a smirk on her face. Y/N sighed out of annoyance.

“What are you doing up past hours,” Y/N impatiently asked while crossing her arms over her chest.

“Studying,” George shrugs innocently. Y/N lets out angry huff.

“Where’s your books,” Y/N asks, giving them a look. She didn’t understand why they were so damn popular they were getting on her never right now.

“In the library,” Fred starts to say as he looks Y/N up and down with a smirk on his face.

“Just stretching our legs,” George finishes with a smile. Y/N thinks on what to do and if they are studying she doesn’t want to ruin it for them.

“Fine but get to your dorms when you’re done,” Y/N sternly says, walking away from the twins hoping she did the right thing.

Y/N takes a deep breath leaning against the wall. She had to admit they were attractive and she’s always had an interest in Fred but acted in anything since she barely even saw him. And she didn’t get the butterflies that often.

It didn’t matter she wasn’t going to get her heart broken by a boy, or anyone ever again.

The next Y/N did her morning routine. Got dressed, put a little makeup on, get all of her books, and went to breakfast where she got her food and started eating.

Y/N was a perfectionist and always stuck to a routine and hated when someone ruined it.

As she was eating her toast two people sat on each side of her and she immediately knew who it was.

“Fred George,” Y/N greeted coldly, not looking up from her food to look at the twins.

“We just wanted to thank you for last night,” George began to say as he looked at the girl who didn’t look up from her food.

“It helped us big time,” Fred finished for his twin. Y/N had always intrigued him. She never talked to anyone unless she had to. Fred wanted to know what happened to her.

“Well you guys were studying right,” Y/N snaps looking from George to Fred.

“Who knows,” Fred innocently looks at her making butterflies erupt in her belly. She ignored them and rolled her eyes at the red head.

“Great so you lied to me,” Y/N sighs. She can’t blame them. She had a bad feeling in her stomach last night. She should have done something.

“Not exactly,” George giggles.

“Whatever,” Y/N grumbles. Her appetite is gone as she thinks about losing her role as a prefect.

She grabs her books getting up to leave since it’s almost time for her potions class. It’s her sixth year and she still hates potions.

Snape was a hard teacher to deal with. She had to be on time or points away from Y/H. So Y/N had to pay extra attention so she didn’t fail the class.

Y/N sat and got all her books out as students rolled in the class talking and chatting with each other. Meanwhile Y/N sat in her seat doodling in her note book trying to block out the noise. Unbeknownst to her a certain redhead was curiously looking at her.

Snape entered the class dramatically as always. Y/N closed her notebook getting ready to pay attention to the glass.

When she was taking notes Y/N felt paper hit the back of her head. She turned around to see Fred Weasley smiling at her.

Y/N rolled her eyes turning to face the front again. Y/N tried to ignore everytime Fred Weasley threw paper at her. It disappeared when it hit the ground so no evidence.

“Will you stop,” Y/N whispers angrily as he keeps throwing the paper at her. He holds up on defense.

“Miss Y/N do you have something you’d like to share with the class,” Snape's sharp tone seemed into Y/N’s brain.

“No sir,” Y/N shakes her head not wanting to get in trouble.

“10 points away from Y/H,” Snape snapped as Y/N looked down at the table. This was the first time she’s ever gotten house points away.

Y/N keeps her head down while Snape talks. She takes note trying to pay attention but it’s hard when she just got into trouble for the first time.

Fred didn’t try anything else with Y/N during the rest of the class and Y/N thanked god for that. If he didn’t that one more time she probably would’ve hexed him with something.

Snape dismisses everyone and Y/N grabs her books getting ready to go to her next class which is empty so she goes to the library to study.

“Hey Y/N wait up,” Y/N heard Fred yell which made her roll her eyes. She didn’t wait but Fred caught up to her anyways.

“What do you want Fred,” Y/N stops and looks up at the boy who gives her a charming smile.

“Just wanted to ask if you wanted to go and get a butterbeer tonight,” Fred says eagerly. Y/N can feel her heart racing again as the butterflies in her stomach start to flutter even faster than before.

“Why would I do that if you just got me in trouble,” Y/N asks, trying to hold all of her books up in her hands.

“I was just trying to ask you something,” Fred says happily as his eyes brighten while Y/N’s stay the same. Gloomy and uninterested.

“You could’ve done it in a different way,” Y/N mutters looking down at her feet to avoid eye contact with Fred.

“Here let me help you,” Fred grabs Y/N’s books. Y/N was about to interject and deny but he took the books out of her arms.

Fred didn't want to admit but he’s always been intrigued by Y/N. She was alway by herself and only talked to teachers, class partners and so on. Fred also never saw her smile which made him want to make her smile. She made him nervous for some reason.

He never got nervous around anyone.

He wanted to know what happened to her that won’t make her smile. Fred loves to make people smile. Especially people he likes/loves.

Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose. He’s being nice to her and she doesn’t want to be rude to him.

“You don’t have to do that,” Y/N retorted as Fred rolled his eyes at her stubbornness.

“Come on just let me help you,” Fred pleaded just wanting to be around her.

“Fine I’m going to the library,” Y/N gave in. She couldn’t say no to him and look him in the eyes at the same time.

They start to walk towards the library in silence til Y/N breaks the silence.

“I just wanted to apologize for being mean,” Y/N apologizes. She feels bad for being mean since he’s the one who’s helping her out. She doesn’t get that offer often.

“No need to apologize, you helped me and George out last night,” Fred sends her a wink which makes her shake head looking at the ground strolls on the ground, her heels clinking against the hardwood floor. He makes her feel things she doesn’t want to feel. She’s only known him for a day.

“I thought you were only studying,” Y/N corrects him trying to see if her gut reaction was correct.

“What do you think we were doing,” Fred avoids the answer, not wanting her to be mad at him. He doesn’t want to screw this up.

“I think you weren’t studying,” Y/N ponders, crossing her hands over her stomach as they stop in front of the library.

“You aren’t mad,” Fred asks astonished. He thought she’d lash out at him while kicking him in the balls.

“Just a bit, but we don’t know each other and I’m the one at fault. If I didn’t turn you in that’s my decision not yours,” Y/N explains running her hands through her hair. She pulls a few knots out while at it.

“Why did you let me and George go,” Fred speaks his mind. Y/N bites the inside of her cheek. Why did she do that?

“I don’t know,” Y/N answers, not looking at him. Fred gives her a smirk.

“So how bout that date,” Fred says, very optimistic. He hands her the books as he leans against the wall.

“I-I don’t know,” Y/N stutters looking around. Maybe dating wouldn’t be so bad but what if something bad happens and he doesn’t care about her?

“Come on one date and if you don’t like it we don’t have to go out ever again,” Fred offers, making Y/N let out a sigh and for the first time in her life she lives in the moment.

“Sure pick me up at 8,” Y/N accepts running into the library not wanting to see his reaction or him to see how nervous she was.

Y/N sits down and lets out a tiny smile feeling a bit of happiness inside of her. Happy. She hasn’t felt that in a long time.

She’s just met him and she’s already very happy. She wonders what will happen next, hopefully more happiness.

All she hopes is that this feeling doesn’t go away.

For the rest of the day Y/N felt something she could describe as giddiness. She can’t wait for the date. Years ago if someone told her she would have been going on a date Y/N would laugh in their face.

Y/N didn’t believe in love. But maybe Fred can be the exception. No she’s not in love with him right now but if they start dating Y/N can see that as a possibility.

She gets ready with the best clothes she gots which is a dress her mother bought her. Y/N puts a little more makeup on to make herself more presentable.

Y/N prances down the stairs to the common room where she sees Fred sitting on the couch. His knee is bouncing up and down out of nerves. When he sees her he looks her up and down and notes how beautiful she is.

“You look beautiful,” Fred compliments her as she brushes some of her hair behind her ear. She smiles at him as he puts his hands outstretched wanting her to take it.

Y/N takes his hand and her heart races. She’s never been this nervous before, it’s a new sensation that makes her feel weird.

They talk on the way to Hogsmeade about their interest. What they have in common and what they don’t have in common.

Fred told Y/N about his and George’s dream to open a joke shop while Y/N listened fascinated. She’s never liked pranks but Y/N can’t lie when people like Malfoy get pranked on.

When they get to Hogsmeade he orders them some butterbeer while Y/N taps her nails against the wood of the table, nerves rattling in her stomach.

“You okay,” She heard Fred ask her as he sat the butterbeer down and took a seat next to her. He had a happy expression on his face as he looked Y/N.

“I’m fine just kinda nervous,” Y/N admitted taking a drink then looking at Fred who had a confused look on his face.

“Do I make you nervous love,” Fred asks with his signature smirk on his face.

“Maybe,” Y/N says looking at him. “It’s just my first date and I don’t want to screw this up,” She nervously laughs looking at her hands where blue nail polish is being picked off.

“I noticed,” Fred added and Y/Ns head snapped towards his direction.

“How’d you know,” Y/N asks, narrowing her eyes at Fred.

“It just seems like you never talk to anyone,” Fred confesses, making Y/N frown. She didn’t know anybody knew about this but then again Y/N always thought she would be invisible. “I didn’t mean to make you upset,” He freaks out as he notices the look on her face.

“I’m not, I just always thought I was invisible,” Y/N elaborated. “Guess I was wrong,” She smiles.

“Trust me Y/N boys notice you,” Fred laughs as Y/N narrows her eyes in confusion. Y/N barely talks to any boys unless it's for a school project. “Guys talk,” Fred admits seeing the confusion spread on her face.

Y/N made an ‘oh’ face.

For the rest of the night Y/N and Fred chatted and got to know one another. She knew that she wanted to see him again. She wanted to get to know him more and vice versa.

At the end of the date Fred leaned in to kiss her and Y/N paused for a second. She’s obviously never kissed anyone so when Fred kissed her she just froze. Until she moved her lips along with his copying his movements.

Fred put his hand in her hair and pulled her head closer. While Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck leaving nothing between the two.

Y/N takes a deep breath leaning out of the kiss. It was so passionate it made her feel like on cloud nine. Y/N noticed Fred looking at her and buried her face into his chest not wanting him to catch her embarrassment.

“You’re so cute love,” Fred chuckles, bringing his arms around her and pulling her into a hug.

From then on everything was bliss. Y/N started hanging out with Fred and George more often since Fred asked her out on their second date. On her prefect duties she tried to ignore the two pulling pranks not wanting them to get into trouble.

Even in her sixth year at school Y/N could only describe the feeling in her chest as love. She felt as if she was in love with Fred Weasley and she hoped he was feeling the same about her.

Y/N told him about her dad when they were in the last week of the year and sixth month into their relationship. She felt like she needed a reason to tell him why she was so closed.

“You know how closed off I was,” Y/N asks Fred pushing some of her hair behind her ear feeling nervous about telling him this.

“Yes feels like centuries ago love,” Fred says as he rolls his head to look at her. Fred was laying down in his bed while Y/N sat criss cross picking at the skin around her nails. Fred picked up on this and leaned on his arms to look at her.

“Hey what’s wrong,” Fred grabs one of her hands and kisses the top of it.

“My dad left me and my mom when I was young,” Y/N begins to explain. “He was my hero. He was my best friend and then one day around Christmas he just left,” She explains her eyes brimming with tears. “I never found out why,” She whispers as a tear rolls down her cheek.

Fred puts his hand on her cheek and wiped the tear away with a sorrowful expression on his face. He didn’t know this was the reason why she never talked to anyone. He thought she just hated everyone not this. Fred sits up to pull her into a hug as she sobbed into his chest.

Y/N didn’t know she still felt so strongly about the situation as buried her head into his chest.

“It was my fault,” She sobs into his chest. Fred comfortingly strokes her back.

“How can you possibly think that love,” Fred says, scrunching his nose. He pulls her back from his chest with a stern look on his face. “This is not your fault you were just a child darling,” He enveloped her cheeks between his palms.

“Then why’d he leave,” Y/N whimpers tears coming out of her eyes at a faster pace. Fred does his best to wipe away all the tears but they keep coming like a waterfall.

“I don't know love but all I know it’s not your fault,” Fred kisses her forehead. He lays both of them down and pulls her head to his chest as her sobs start to calm down.

“I love you,” Y/N whispers after a while and her voice is raw from the crying. Fred looks down at her shocked by her words.

Fred doesn’t know much but he knows that he wants to have the joke shop with his twin and that he is absolutely in love with this girl.

“I love you too,” Fred whispers, hugging her harder. Y/N leans up to kiss him and Fred holds her hand as they kiss pouring their love into that kiss. Fred's hands travel to her hair as they kiss for a minute.

Y/N smiles as they part and pecks his lips again leaning her head in the crook of his neck feeling exhausted from all the crying.

She falls asleep in minutes while Fred stays awake admiring how peaceful Y/N looks. She looks completely stress free and even though finals are down that doesn't mean there’s stress and Fred loves it when she just relaxes.

Fred falls asleep soon after his thoughts are filled of Y/N.

A week later they both parted to their houses where they sent owls to each other where they explained how much they missed each other. Y/N explained how the lake she visited reminded her of him.

When at Hogwarts Y/N and Fred usually laid in the field talking about their day or just making out. That of course if they weren’t in class.

Y/N often helped Fred with school work but it usually ended up in a make out session.

Meanwhile at the Weasley household they noticed a change in Fred. They noticed how much happier he was. Whenever an owl was delivered to the house Fred was the first to get it. He had a smile on his face as he read it.

They both couldn’t just wait to get back at school to see each other again. But what was waiting for them at school would make them wish they stayed in summer forever.

Professor Umbridge. Or as Y/N liked to call her an evil shrew.

Y/N was demoted from her prefect duties as soon as she covered for Fred and George. Y/N went to Fred rambling how much of a bitch Umbridge was.

Fred couldn’t have agreed more.

Throughout the year Y/N had Fred with her by her side which was all she needed. Fred was there for when she was demoted and she was there when he was taken off of the quidditch team.

Fred that year was extremely protective over Y/N. When she had the blood quill Fred almost went to curse Umbridge but she stopped him not wanting Fred to get hurt.

Y/N was also muggleborn which meant Umbridge used that against her. It didn’t bother Y/N that much since Umbridge was a blood supremacist. But it bothered Fred very much.

When Malfoy called Y/N a Mudblood, it didn’t bother her since she was so used to it, especially from Malfoy.

But when Fred heard about it he went to Malfoy and punched him square in the face.

“Fred why the hell did you do that,” Y/N snapped at Fred as she looked at his hand and cleaned up the blood.

“He had it coming angel,” Fred told Y/N. Angel was a new nickname Fred came up with over the summer.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Y/N softly explained, wrapping his hands up in bandages.

“It’s not like we have quidditch anymore,” Fred sadly says rolling his eyes.

“Freddie,” Y/N says with a somber expression in her eyes as she cups Fred’s cheeks with her hands. She plants a kiss on his lips. “I’m sorry if I could’ve done anything I would’ve,” She says as she sits in his lap.

“It’s not your fault angel,” Fred reassures putting his hands on her hips gently massaging them.

Y/N leans in and kisses him, her arms on his shoulders as she does so. He kisses back his hands traveling up her back. As the kiss deepens he takes off her shirt leaving her in a bra.

After that Y/N takes off his shirt and they continue to kiss passionately. Her hands wrapped around his cheeks, kissing him harder.

Before anything else happened someone opened the door.

“MY EYES,” George screamed covering his eyes as Fred rolled his eyes at his twin. George ran out of the room. Y/N giggled at the boy.

“I have a question,” Y/N asks, getting her shirt back on.

“You already did love,” Fred teases, pulling the shirt over his head and back on his body. Y/N rolls her eyes smiling at him. “What is it angel,” He asks, walking over to her and pulling her into a hug.

“Will you always love me,” She asks, burying her head in his chest.

“Always,” He promises kissing the top of her head.

It was nearing the end of the year and Fred and George were sitting down on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. They were going over plans for the joke shop.

George was rambling on about something as Fred thought of Y/N. He knew what he had to do. Let her go so she wouldn’t get hurt. By Voldemort or Umbridge.

“Fred, what's wrong,” George asks, concerned for his twin.

“I have to break up with Y/N,” Fred says and the thought of doing it even nauseated him. But he had to do it for her.

“What,” George asks flabbergasted. Y/N and Fred were good for each other. George also knew about her past and also knew it would break if he did this.”You can’t do this,” George scoffed.

“I have too for her safety,” Fred says looking at his fingers.

“Fine but you’ll have to deal with consequences,” George states.

Fred nods and stands up going to Y/N’s dorm getting ready for this. But he doesn’t feel ready as he climbs the stairs.

When he reaches her room he takes a deep breath before opening the door but frowns when he realizes when she isn’t in there. She must be in the astronomy tower. That’s where she goes to think.

Fred runs to the tower wanting to get this done and over with so he doesn’t have to see her cry. Jesus he didn’t want to make her cry but it was inevitable.

Fred sees her leaning on the railing and watching the stars. Her hair flowing in the wind. Fred didn’t want to leave her but he had to.

“Hey Y/N,” Fred gloomily said as she turned around he noticed the happy smile on her face and hated himself as he knew that smile was going to be wiped off. He walks towards her

“He Freddie,” Y/N says smiling wrapping her arms around his shoulders planting a kiss on his lips. When he didn’t kiss her back she frowned. “What’s wrong,” She asks worriedly.

Fred takes her arms off his shoulders and she looks hurt as he does. “Me and Georgie are leaving to make a joke shop,” He explains.

“Dropping out,” Y/N asks and he nods and she nods at him as well. “It’s only a couple more months and we can be together again,” She says smiling. Y/N didn’t know what’s wrong but she had a bad feeling in her stomach. Maybe it was the look on Fred’s face.

“I think we need to break up,” Fred blurts out with a sorrowful expression on his face.

“What,” Y/N replies shocked. She didn’t want to break up with him. “It’s only a couple of months,” She tries to explain.

“I don’t want to be with you,” Fred snaps, making Y/N’s eyes water.

Why do the people she always loves leave her? Why can’t one person just stay and be there for her whether it was platonically like her dad or romantically like Fred.

“Okay,” Y/N says rolling her tongue in her mouth trying not to cry. But she can feel tears brimming her eye begging to be let out. “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten close to you because all it would end is in heartbreak,” She whispers, her lip quivering as tears start to cascade down her cheeks.

“Y/N-,” Fred tried to say as he approached her. She takes a breath as the wind makes her wrap her arms around herself.

“I knew it everybody in my life eventually leaves me,” Y/N lets out a laugh with tears still coming out. “And you said it wasn’t my fault,” She finally breaks down and lets out a choked sob.

“Angel-,” He tried to approach her tears glistening his own his.

“Don’t,” She whimpered, running away to her from where she finally collapsed on her bed sobbing into her pillow.

She should’ve focused on her studies and not let Fred in. If she did, she wouldn’t be here sobbing against her pillow curled up in a fetus position.

Y/N loved him so much and she thought he felt the same but she was wrong. She wished she had a time machine where she could’ve said no to the date.

If she would’ve Y/N would still be somewhat content. Now she’s just downright sad.

Fred promised her he would always love her. Y/N scoffed at the memories wiping the tears away but they kept coming.

When Fred left the next day with George she had to hold in the sobs so no one knew how bad she was hurting. They left with happy smiles on their faces as they left leaving a depressed Y/N.

Y/N finished school passing luckily. School kept her mind off Fred. It didn’t stop her from crying herself to sleep. And then she was finally out of Hogwarts.

Y/N got a job at a muggle coffee shop where she tried to rebuild her life. But things quickly fell again.

Her mom revealed to her that she had stage four breast cancer. Y/N was shocked she didn’t see the signs. She’s been so caught up with Fred she didn’t see her own moms pain.

Her mom reassured her it wasn’t her fault as Y/N cried against her moms chest.

For the next few months she was there for her mom and helped her with everything. When her mom was bed ridden she cooked her food and helped her bathe.

Y/N paid the bills with her unemployment and her money from the coffee shop.

Even in such a dark time for Y/N, her and her mom joke around. Her mom always made everything better for her.

Y/N would sometimes stay in the room in the rocking chair making sure she was okay. Y/N knew what was coming she couldn’t avoid. Her mom was going to die and she couldn’t prevent it. Y/N had to accept it. But she couldn't because her mom was the last person in her life that cared about her and she wasn’t ready to let go.

During the wizarding war Y/N stayed with her mom. She couldn’t do that, leave her all alone. Y/N had to be with her mom through the pain.

One morning Y/N woke up in the rocking chair. She opened her eyes stretching her joints before looking at her mom smiling. Then she noticed something.

“Mom,” She whispers worried as she shakes her hoping for her to wake. When she doesn’t Y/N starts to cry. “Mommy,” She whispers, shaking her hoping she wakes up. “Please wake up you’re all I have,” Y/N sobs as she hugs her mom. “You’re all I have left.”

Sobs rack throughout her body as she realized something. Everyone she’s ever loved left her. Her dad and Fred. And now her mom.

After a few more minutes of sobbing and hugging her mom she called the ambulance with tears running down her face. Voice hoarse from crying.

Y/N decided to cremate her mom and just to put a headstone so she could still visit. She put some of her mom's ashes in a necklace so she will always be with Y/N.

“I’m gonna miss you mom,” Y/N weeps as she places the flowers on the headstone. It was a sunny day contrasting her gloomy expression.

When Y/N’s mom died the war was over for a few days. Y/N didn’t worry about that since her mom was her priority.

For the next few months Y/N is almost robotic. She gets up, eats breakfast, goes to work, gets home, eats dinner, and then goes to sleep.

It feels like she can’t feel anything. She still cries herself to sleep. One day while at the coffee shop she sees some she recognizes.

“Y/N,” Fred says surprised. Y/N is too and notices he’s changed. He looks older in a good way. But Y/N doesn’t show her surprise as she stares at the red head.

“What will you be having,” Y/N asks in a monotone voice.

Fred notices something wrong with her. It doesn’t feel like the Y/N he knew. But that’s none of his business, he broke up with her.

“Just regular coffee,” Fred says quietly. Y/N nods walking away getting the coffee and walking back setting it down. “Thanks,” He smiles at her.

Y/N doesn’t say anything just walks away going to another customer. Y/N notices when she collects the money he gave her an extra tip. She rolls her eyes as she walks to the counter.

That night Fred has the same nightmare. Him dying with a wall falling on him. He wakes up in a sweat with a few tears rolling down his eyes.

Fred gets up to the phone book and looks for Y/N’s number and calls her shaking back and forth.

Y/N wakes up to a ringing and then realizes that it’s the phone. She lets out an annoyed sigh before answering it.

“What,” Y/N snaps.

“Hey it’s me,” Fred’s soft voice comes through the phone.

“Fred what are you doing calling me at,” Y/N sits up to check the time. “3 o’clock in the morning,” She sighs.

“Can I come over? I need to talk to you,” Fred asked desperately. Y/N doesn’t even know why she’s considering it. Maybe it’s the desperation in his voice that makes her worry.

“Fine,” Y/N sighs.

“Thanks,” Fred sighs out of relief getting ready then apparates to her front door and rings the doorbell.

Y/N gets her robe on and walks down the stairs. Her mother left the house in her will. She basically left everything in her will.

“Hey Fred,” Y/N sighs, opening the door wider gesturing for him to come in.

“I’m sorry for showing up so late,” Fred apologizes as Y/N goes to the kitchen to make them some tea to relax.

“Why did you even call me Fred you don’t even want to see me,” Y/N huffs before taking a sip out of her tea.

“I broke up with you for your safety,” Fred admits. Y/N scoffs not believing him. “I’m not lying, I didn’t want Voldemort or any other death eater to hurt you,” He explains with sadness in his eyes. “I know that’s not a good excuse but I just wanted you to be safe,” He pinches the bridge of his nose out of stress.

Y/N sighs and moves to the couch which Fred follows her with his cup of tea.

“Why did you even call me,” Y/N asks, leaning her arm on one of her cushions on the couch.

“During the war a wall almost fell on me and I almost died,” Fred explains making her eyes soften. “I keep having repeated nightmares over the situation and I thought talking may be able to help.”

“Oh Freddie,” Y/N cooes wrapping her hand around his cheek. “You know even being with me won’t cure this,” She explains rubbing his cheek.

“I know but it might help to have someone. I mean there’s George but I think he’s getting annoyed,” Fred lets out a little chuckle making Y/N smile. “Do you think I can have another chance,” He asks, a bit hopeful.

“Yes but we have to take it slow,” Y/N sternly says making Fred smiling

“Okay I can go with that,” Fred accepts that. “Where’s your mom,” He asks knowing this is her house.

Y/N’s face falls and Fred gets worried scooting over to her.

“Uh she died of breast cancer a few months ago,” Y/N admits, trying her hardest not to cry. She plays with the necklace with her mother’s ashes.

Fred pulls her into a hug and she rests her head on his shoulder as Fred comfortingly rubs her back up and down.

“I’m so sorry Y/N,” He whispers.

“It’s fine I think I’m finally starting to move on.”

[princessfbi]

#It’s the way that I can dissect this scene and the argument we don’t see but hear when Chimney leaves for hours

..... those tags tho, I’d happily read that dissection 👉🏻👈🏻

Oh man! I am more than happy to oblige.

SO... In order to talk about Buck and Maddie's fight during "Merry Ex-Mas" we have to talk about some people we don't like. Namely, Margaret Buckley and Doug Kendall.

Particularly about how Margaret essentially made Maddie into a mother figure for Buck and Doug point out to Maddie that she is in fact, his sister and not his parent.

Margaret and Philip, whether unintentionally or not, relied on Maddie to take care of Buck. They let her handle him; be his parent. A fine example is in Buck Begins after he fell off the bike. Buck calls out for his mother and she goes to him only to pull back when she sees the bike. It’s a rejection in its most complicated form. The bike, for Margaret, is a symbol of grief. But for Buck and Maddie it was a symbol of growth. Of Buck growing up and becoming a big kid. Of moving on.

Margaret allowing the bike, her grief, to be a kind of barrier to her kids essentially drew a wall between them where she was on one side and Buck and Maddie were on the other. Which can be devastatingly isolating for an about five year old. Five being old enough to realize when a cry for comfort has been ignored is also young enough to still be reliant on others. But their parents didn’t just block out Buck. They blocked out Maddie too. They left her with a kid.

So, Maddie took care of Buck. She raised him. She didn’t have a choice which doesn’t cheapen their relationship. It goes back to what I said in my Maddie character analysis. We would not have Buck without Maddie. The emotional neglect that Buck and Maddie went through could have wrecked them as people. Buck could’ve very easily been turned into a toxic masculine person with resentments that rivaled the size of Margaret’s towards her own children. But he didn’t because of Maddie. Because Maddie showed him what it was like to love and be loved in return.

Maddie saved Buck.

But Maddie was also a kid and because of that added responsibility, I don’t think Maddie had any real boundaries when it came to Buck. Anyone who had a hand in raising a sibling knows the feeling of ownership, if you will, over them. There's a very clear sense of agency you get when you had a hand in making someone into the way they are.

It's why Maddie didn't back down from Margaret when she threw out the accusation that she "didn't know what it was like" because Maddie "wasn't a mother yet." It's why Maddie from young age handed out discipline in a sense with her parents in how they spoke about Buck.

"Don't talk to him like that."

Maddie scolds her parents for the way they disrespect Buck and put him down. She calls them out on their complacency when it comes to their relationship with Buck. Maddie sees herself as a parent figure/protector/authority figure (if not the only one) in Buck's life.

Which leads me to Doug. I think Doug was the person who pointed that out. I think Doug was the person who showed Maddie that she needed live for herself just as much as she lived for Buck. I think Doug saw that lightbulb go off for Maddie and used that to manipulate her as well. Doug recognized and “respected” in his own way that Maddie’s relationship with Buck was something of great value in her life. It’s why he didn’t storm in on those nights where she was alone with Buck after he found her. It’s why he didn’t ask her questions about Buck. It’s why he didn’t demand she come home when she told him “I’m with Evan” on the phone in Buck Begins.

Doug recognized in his own way that Buck was a hard line for Maddie.

So, Doug gave Maddie boundaries for Buck and hoped that would bring her over to his side. And neither Buck or Maddie realized it because they were so used to emotional neglect/manipulation (which is a form of abuse) that they didn't even blink because in their minds', they still had each other.

By Maddie’s own admission, the only thing of value she had at the time, was her relationship with Buck and Doug knew that. So, rather than take it away, he pushed himself in between them as a way to put distance between them.

Boundaries with one another was something completely foreign to Buck because his own idea of a "boundary" was the extreme with his parents: to be shut out completely which Buck would then internalize as being his fault. So, Buck resents Doug not for giving Maddie boundaries with Buck but for not letting Buck be a part of creating those boundaries. He sees it as a way of being shut out again.

Let's take into consideration what Buck said in Buck Begins when he asked to go live with Maddie and Doug.

"It's Doug, isn't it? He hates me."

Buck recognized Doug as another wall in his life and the resentment Buck had wasn't aimed at Maddie but at Doug. He had complete faith that Maddie wasn't shutting him out because she didn't love him anymore. It was because he thought Doug never loved him to begin with. And it's at this point that I think Buck saw the similarities with Maddie in himself. After Maddie left, Buck found himself in the middle between his parents and her. Buck recognized that Maddie was now in the middle between Doug and himself. That's why he didn't confront her in the hospital about Maddie pretending everything was hunky dory. But Buck recognized, before Maddie did, that Doug was the one putting her in the middle.

"You don't have to pretend with me, all right? I know things aren't okay with Doug."

It wasn't until a new beginning, an opportunity for them to escape from their sadness that Buck finally addressed that distance and the reasoning behind it.

Let's skip back to "Merry Ex-Mas" now.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So, you hate Christmas now. Something else I can thank Doug for, huh?"

This is something I think a lot of people who have been on the sounding board end of a loved one going through a break up where the loved one is still defending the ex can recognize. I think Buck expected a clean break because that's the way Maddie was presenting it. Because Maddie had no problems cutting off everyone else in her life such as her parents, her friends, and to an extent Buck in a very clean, compartmentalized process. So, to Buck this seemed like it should've been the same.

But it wasn't. Because Maddie's relationship with Doug was complicated and she didn't fully cut herself of from him (or at least, didn't stop making excuse for him which is an internalized form of victim blaming) until that moment in the car during "Fight or Flight".

Let's take a look though at the real meat of this argument.

"You can't come into my house, Buck, and act this way."

"'Come into my house?' I'm your brother. Typical old Maddie."

Here's the real kicker.

"Typical old Maddie."

Remember how I said that Buck doesn't resent Maddie, he resents Doug?

Here's what I think we sometimes forget because we, as the audience, view the show as a whole. We, the viewers, know the extent of the trauma Doug put Maddie through but Buck doesn't. All Buck sees is that his sister isn't acting like herself and the only reason he has for that is whatever happened with Doug. Buck doesn't know everything Doug put Maddie through because Maddie has been shielding him from it.

Remember in Buck Begins when Omar tried to get Maddie to tell Buck about what happened?

"Evan can never know."

Even with the events of Buck Begins, Buck is still learning the extent of the abuse Maddie suffered from Doug. He knew Doug beat Maddie and he knew it was pretty bad to the point that he almost killed her. But he didn't know until Chimney told him that the reason Maddie didn't leave with him was because Doug beat her brutally for picking a side; Buck's side. It's one thing to know the broad picture but an entirely different thing to know the details.

Because at some point along the way, Maddie's boundary with Buck became a protective shield for Buck. Maddie may have been in the middle between Doug and Buck but Maddie had put herself over the line in the sand beside Buck once again and neither Buck or Doug realized it.

Maddie doesn't want to explain to Buck why she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas because it's a painful truth for herself but for Buck as well. It's opening up that protective bubble and letting the risk of Buck and herself being hurt again. So, she's shutting down again which is something she'd done before to keep Buck out of that messy part of her life. Except, because Buck thinks Maddie has had this clean break from her life with Doug, he pushes her a little.

"Come on, you love Christmas."

And Maddie lashes out.

"And easy to lash out on the person that you know is always gonna forgive you."

It's a panic response, a knee jerk reaction, because she doesn't want to go through the painful process of unpacking that especially not with Buck because she was still continuing to shield him from it all. She lashed out because, subconsciously at least, she knew it would deflect him from it.

"Typical old Maddie."

And it worked.