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sope-and-shine · 3 years ago

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When World’s Collide: Pt. 2

-> Pairing: Moon God!Taehyung x Fate!Reader -> SFW // fluff, angst, humor // enemies to lovers!au, soulmate!au -> Word Count: 20.1k -> Summary: Taehyung has spent most of his life ignored by his peers and alone on his barren planet. So when a lonely King reaches out to him in hopes to bring his love to him, how could he ignore his plea? However, it’s not good to mess with Fate, and it’s even worse to make the same mistake twice. -> Warnings: mild language, the reader is a bad bitch, minor character death, minor innuendos, crying children, Tae gets into multiple fights

a/n: Part 2 is finally done! I wanted everything for part 2 to be perfect before I posted it! We only have one more part to go and then this series will be complete!! I really hope you enjoy!

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Masterlist

When you left the previous night, you didn’t want to think about what could have happened between Taehyung’s projects. For the past 72 hours, you’ve seen at least 49 different ways last night could have gone, and each one was worse than the last. You refused to acknowledge any tugs you felt all night and right now the only thing you want to do is make sure nothing was damaged beyond repair.

Hoseok sits on the chair behind the security desk, eating a breakfast sandwich despite not actually needing sustenance the way the humans do. He insists it’s only to keep up his human appearance, but you both know it’s because he’s become obsessed with the taste and the sensation. You try not to roll your eyes when you think about how many he’d shoved into the fridge at his - and Yoongi’s - apartment.

“Don’t you think we would have heard about something by now?” He asks, “Besides, can’t you just look at your hands?”

You sigh, “I’d rather look at the events and see which path they chose. I’ll worry about everything else later.”

Of course you could just look at your hands, but being able to see the vision clearly can sometimes be far too overwhelming even for you. Just the tugs on your fingers are enough to make you itch constantly. You’ve even gone as far as to buy ‘fidget toys’ - as the humans call them - to distract humans from the constant twitching you’ve become so used to. Though you have to admit that the toys themselves give you a brief moment of relief.

With his mouth full, Hoseok side-eyes you, “Sometimes it worries me just how much you know.”

“Show me the tape.”

Hoseok shrugs and turns to the monitors in front of him. He logs into the system and clicks around, finding the footage from the night before and following every camera Eunha goes through. He rewinds the tape back to a bit after everyone left for the night. It shows Eunha making her rounds and walking to the king’s exhibit. Both of the deities watch as she shines her light through the gate and walks away. As they speed through the footage, it looks like no interaction happened the previous night at all.

Hoseok pauses the footage after Eunha returns to the security room and turns to you, who's just as confused as he is, “That looks like nothing.”

“It isn’t nothing.” You can feel it. You’ve practically already seen it. There is no way the two didn’t meet last night, “Show me his cameras.”

Hoseok does as he’s asked. He finds the set of 4 cameras hidden in the exhibit room and clicks on the widest angle. This camera shows Eunha entering the exhibit and taking a look around, but nothing more. It isn’t until she passes the necklace case that you see the glittering jewels shine within the glass. “There.”

“The spell...” Hoseok’s peaceful demeanor diminishes and an unusual scowl covers his features, “Did he even try to break it?”

You nod, “Even if he didn’t, I did.” You weren’t stupid enough to believe that Taehyung would actually try to get rid of his creation. You’ve been far beyond giving him the benefit of the doubt for quite some time now. However, actually destroying the necklace he designed proved to be much harder than a simple conversation with the Moon God himself.

“We’ll just have to stay on top of them.” You stand up from the chair you’d brought over to the desk and stand, raising your arms up high to stretch before you leave.

Hoseok picks up his office phone and hovers his finger over the keypad, “Should I page Taehyung?”

You wave the security guard off, “No. I’ll find him later. Just let me worry about this.”

You leave Hoseok to get back to work and leave for your own office. Not only do you have your regular responsibilities as a deity to attend to, but your human ones as well. Hours spent at your desk not only speaking to employees as needed, but also looking at your strings and following tugs against them. Most tugs come from your own friends and their daily interactions with museum patrons. You try to ignore them, but it’s hard to just let them interact with mortals when you know how bad the outcomes could be.

Taehyung is your prime example of just how true that can be.

You find the blonde in the children’s exhibit he took over curating, helping the youngest of museum patrons to interact with the activities around them. He’s tucked himself between two young children in front of a LEGO station. He tries to help them recreate the dragon behind the glass, but the children are much more creative then the blueprint laid in front of them.

You approach the group from behind as the young boy on Taehyung’s left turns to him with a smile, “Do you like my dog, Mr. Kim?” He shows him a combination of green and blue blocks, resembling a table more so than a dog but Taehyung still gasps dramatically.

“It’s amazing!” He clasps his hands together in celebration, but you’re still stuck on the child’s inability to realize that the object they’ve created is not a dog.

“That’s a table.”

You watch as Taehyung and the boy turn to you, one confused and the other seeming slightly irritated. With big brown eyes, the young boy pouts, “No, it’s a dog!”

“It doesn’t have a head.”

“Yes it does.” Taehyung interjects, “The head is right here. Isn’t that right, Beomgyu?” He points to the singular blue block that holds the top pieces together, not even close to resembling what he and the boy claim it to be. Even when the boy nods, you’re still left unconvinced.

You bend down to be on their level with furrowed brows, “It doesn’t even have a tail.”

“It doesn’t need a tail!”

“Yes it does.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“It’s not a dog if it doesn’t have a tail.”

“You’re wrong!” At this point, little bubbles of tears are welling in the young boy's eyes. His feelings are hurt, but you’re none the wiser to his discomfort. You’re taken by complete surprise when he stands up and throws his creation back onto the table, “Mom!”

“No, Beomgyu, it’s-” Taehyung tries to reassure him that his creation is perfect just the way it is, but he stops trying as the little boy runs to the next room in disheartened tears, “-okay…”

You’re left ignorant to the scene you created, instead grabbing the pieces the young human boy threw down and putting them back with the pile at the center of the table. You settle onto your knees in front of the work bench to help clear it off for the next children, “Having a good day?” You ask the blonde beside you.

His shoulders fall, utterly defeated, “I was.” He sounds hostile, and you’re left oblivious as to why. To you, the small child is nothing. But to Taehyung, Beomgyu is a sweet, creative little boy with so much potential. And you...you just potentially crushed his dreams. The amount of anger Taehyung is starting to harbor for you is beginning to overshadow his fear, “What can I do for you today, Madame Director?”

There’s malice in his tone, but you don’t register it, “I want to know about last night. Hoseok and Yoongi said you had her touch the necklace.”

“I did.”

“And did you stay to watch?”

As much as Taehyung wanted to stay and watch the long awaited meeting unfold in front of his own eyes, he couldn’t risk messing up again. The last time he interfered, he only made everything worse. When an opportunity came for him to intervene, he was too late. He didn’t understand, and that lack of understanding is what brought him - and everyone else - where they are now. He’d never admit it out loud, and especially not in front of you.

The lack of response from the god beside you is the only answer you need, “So you don’t know either.”

“I wanted them to meet on their own,” He says, not lying but not telling the whole truth, “I was just going to see her in a bit and check in about last night. Did you know she’s been working constantly without a day off since Chanyeol left?”

“Hoseok might have mentioned that. But considering this whole situation is your mess-” Taehyung rolls his eyes,“-checking in sounds like a great idea! I want you to talk to her and update me.” The blonde is quick to turn his head, fearing he’s heard you wrong, but you only stare back at him expectantly. “Agreed?”

“Yeah! I can do that.” To say the god is surprised would be an understatement. From day one of him orchestrating this whole charade, you haven’t wanted any part of it. You haven’t wanted to put up with him. You specifically told him that this was between himself, Hoseok, and Yoongi and that you wanted no part of it. Your sudden involvement has Taehyung beaming with curiosity, “Any reason for the new interest?”

You frown and throw the conjoined lego pieces in his direction, hitting his shoulder and falling behind him. He flinches back, his hands pulling close to his chest before reaching up and over his left shoulder to try and catch the miniature building blocks. You try to hide a smirk, “Don’t read into this, Taehyung. This is my job.”

Taehyung retrieves the pieces you threw at him, “Mhm, sure! Sure…”

“I’m serious, Taehyung. I know a lot more than you do.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to remind me...” Taehyung mumbles.

They way he says it is just as condescending as he usually is when you bring up your job. It seems no matter how many times you try to explain to him what your job entails, it goes in one ear and right out of the other. He never actually listens to you, he just continues to think whatever he’d like.

You sigh, “You know, I don’t act like this to be mean.”

“Then why act like this at all?” He asks.

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Of course I would!”

You scoff, “Considering you don’t understand it yet, I sincerely doubt you would even comprehend what I’m talking about if I were to tell you.”

And there you go again, telling Taehyung how unintelligent he is just so you can be right. It’s never an off switch with you. Always a vague explanation and a promise that he’ll understand, but he never does. “Oh yeah, it must be so hard looking at your fingers all day.”

And just like that, the both of you have gone back to square one.

You set down what you were picking up and stand. Without so much as a frown you say, “Do what I asked and I won’t make Hoseok follow you around.” And walk away from the activity table, leaving Taehyung just as displeased with your attitude as you are with his.

To Taehyung, you have no right to be angry with him - you have a few rights to be angry with him. Sure, he’s made some mistakes here and there, but there’s no reason to continue to hold it against him! He’s learning. Everyone learns. It’s completely unfair that he should have to face relentless reminders of such a simple fact.

Nevertheless, he does as you’ve asked. He had intended to watch for Eunha to arrive anyway. He wanted to know what had happened the night before just as everyone else did, but he knew he had to wait and be subtle.

When she finally arrives, she looks a bit out of it. She makes a detour around Seokjin when she would normally greet him. Her hair isn’t as neat as she usually keeps it and the bags haphazardly thrown onto her shoulder show she’s in a bit of distress. Her walking is much faster than her normal pace, and Taehyung hopes that’s not a bad sign.

He decides to wait for her upstairs in the king’s exhibit, taking a seat on his favorite bench in the museum. It’s always a nice place to sit and have a rest throughout the day, it let’s him think back to old times when his plan was much simpler. A time where his friend didn’t spend all hours of the day inside of a dusty box waiting for his soulmate to return to him.

It’s moments like this that Taehyung can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he’d left Namjoon alone. If he had just ignored the King’s prayer for help, would he have still fallen ill? Were they destined to meet the same way even if he hadn’t interfered? Would Namjoon and Eunha have been able to meet in this life as well if it hadn’t been for his insistence to give the King a companion? Even worse, what if you’re right?

You told him that if he meddles too much that their strings could knot and burn. If that happens, then everything he’s worked for goes down the drain. Eunha and Namjoon will never get their happy ending and it will all be his fault. If only Yoongi would just make everything easier.

“Damn it!” Taehyung curses, more to himself than anything. He’s working himself up and that won’t do him any good. In moments like this, he takes a page from Namjoon’s book and does something to calm himself. He pulls a small sketch pad out of his bag and throws a leg over his knee, focusing all of his worries and anxieties onto the piece of paper in front of him. Namjoon always wrote in his journals when he was worried about something, but Taehyung has never been great with words. Instead, he draws doodles of patrons and co-workers, even sketches of flowers to ease his ramped mind.

Taehyung hears the clicks of her shoes before he sees her, “Having fun there?”

He wants to lift his head and tell her he’s really worried beyond belief, that he’s the reason she looks so tired. But revealing himself now would ruin everything, so for now he remains a friend in the background.

---

His talk with Eunha went about as well as he expected. She was definitely lying so she wouldn’t worry him - or sound absolutely insane to any normal human. But he could tell just how freaked out she was, and if she wasn’t accepting Namjoon now, then there’s a good chance his plan just took a turn for the worst. He’ll just keep that bit to himself, though. What you don’t know, won’t hurt him.

Hopefully.

He saves himself the hassle of having to unlock and re-lock your door in favor of just appearing inside; however, he didn’t expect to see you sitting at your desk eating a bag of chips. Your one leg is tucked under you while your foot rests on the cushion of your chair. You’re staring at your computer with great interest, so you must be reading something.

You cast a quick glance at your sudden intruder and sigh, but continue your reading, “I did leave the door unlocked.”

Taehyung checks to see if you’re lying, and he’s completely shocked to find you telling the truth, “Why didn’t you lock it? She could come in here!”

“This isn’t an area patrons can enter. Besides, she won’t come here.” You place both legs on the ground and lean over your work to pat your desk, “Have a seat.”

Taehyung is more than hesitant to join you, but he does take a seat. He studies the contents of your desk and finds not one, but two empty chip bags, “Shrimp chips?”

You shrug, “Hoseok. He’s been going overboard with the human food and leaving me gifts every morning. Of all the things he’s left, this one is the most satisfying.”

Taehyung cracks an amused smile, “You’d think Yoongi would want comfort food more than Hoseok.”

“Comfort food?” You ask. You haven’t heard that term before.

“Yeah. That’s what humans would consider chips.” Taehyung explains, “They call them snacks too! They’re things you can enjoy when you get hungry or you just really want to eat something.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Far from it actually.” You give Taehyung a quizzical look and he shrugs, “I don’t understand it yet either. Humans are very confusing.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So what are you doing here? I figured you’d be as far away from the museum as possible.” Taehyung asks, eyeing the high pile of papers that decorate the top of your desk.

You shrug, “I’d rather take care of all the human work I’m supposed to do so I can do my real job when it comes up.”

The blonde leans back in his chair, “And this has nothing to do with Eunha and Namjoon?”

“Oh, it has everything to do with them.” You assure him. You take a moment to sit back and look at what you’ve done so far and let out a heavy sigh, “I can’t sit still knowing that they’re both here alive and-...Well-...together.”

Your eyes stray to your hands and Taehyung takes notice of the blank look that takes over, “What are you so afraid of?”

You close your eyes, shake your head, and smile, “Fear has nothing to do with it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

With that you get back to work, hoping to finish your human duties before the morning so you can spend your day doing your real job. Taehyung remains in front of you, silently watching you work away after brushing him off so easily once again. He doesn’t take any offense to it anymore - though it does annoy him to no end - at this point it’s like your own way of communicating.

However, Taehyung is focused on one thing and one thing only after a long day of stress and hard work.

“Could I have a chip?”

---

It’s been about a week and a half since Taehyung managed to bring Namjoon and Eunha together and despite how optimistic it had seemed, he’s now beginning to realize just how flawed this plan really is.

“She’s not even willing to give him a chance!” The blonde complains, picking at the chicken on his plate instead of eating it.

Jimin - who sits across from him eating his own food - shrugs, “He did scare the living shit out of her.”

“I can confirm that her soul left her body for a solid 7 seconds when they first met.” Hoseok pipes up, his mouth still full with food.

“Why don’t you just go back to fanboying?” Jeongguk asks, taking a sip of his soda, “Wasn’t that working?”

“Not anymore.” Taehyung sighs. He’d been talking non-stop about the dead king since he first landed his job. He’s done nothing but keep up appearances since then in hopes of intriguing Eunha into liking Namjoon just as much as he does, but hopes seem to be quickly going down the drain, “What if (Y/n) is right and this is all just going to bite me in the ass again?”

Hoseok laughs, “I could have told you that.”

The three lower tier gods turn to Death, but only Jimin is bold enough to question him while he gorges himself on human pleasantries, “Why are you here again?”

Hoseok’s ears surprisingly turn red in embarrassment and he swallows the food in his mouth, “You guys said you were getting food here…Ms. Oh gives me extra kimchi when I come here.”

Taehyung can’t help but chuckle, “You really do think with your stomach.”

Hoseok’s brows furrow, “Who told you that?”

“(Y/n).”

Jimin stops eating, “You two have been hanging out?”

The blonde shrugs, “She just wants updates on Namjoon and Eunha and the choices they make. She obviously can’t be bothered to do it herself. It’s not like it isn’t her job.”

Jimin scoffs and Hoseok chews away quietly at his food, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem too convinced with Taehyung’s assumption, “Maybe she’s just trying to make conversation the only way she knows how.”

“She couldn’t ask about my day instead?”

“You give (Y/n) way too much credit.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, “A guy in my philosophy class acts the same way! He’s really bad at making conversation, so he starts talking about class related stuff to drive himself.”

Taehyung thinks back to their most recent meeting where Fate had asked him about Namjoon and if he’d been causing problems. He remembers how the conversation started, but how it digressed into complaining about Yoongi and Jeongguk he’d never know.

“Still-” Taehyung refuses to falter, “-I do a lot with my day.”

“Taehyung. I hate to break this to you, but knowing what happens to Namjoon and Eunha is what you do with your day.” Jimin points out. Taehyung flings a piece of his chicken in the blonde’s direction, and he blocks with the back of his hand before it can hit and ruin his work shirt. He sends Taehyung a glare and cleans his hand with a napkin, “But I do agree, she could try a bit harder if she’s trying to have a real conversation.”

“You guys really don’t get her, do you?” Hoseok asks.

“Of course we do! She’s Fate.” Jimin says, “She holds the strings of the future in her palms and it’s up to her to keep the universe balanced and blah blah blah.”

Hoseok sighs at Jimin’s mockery, “There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with holding the universe in your hands.”

“Yeah, that’s why Hui sits with the others while the rest of us do work.” Jimin scoffs.

Hoseok bites the inside of his cheek, “He has more responsibilities than you. You messed that up on your own.”

Jimin shrugs and takes a sip of his water, “Not everyone wishes to be walked all over.”

Hoseok almost looks offended, “You think we walk over you?”

“What else should I call it? Aggressive advice?” Jimin leans forward like he’s challenging Hoseok. The air surrounding the table goes cold as Hoseok slowly sets his chopsticks on the table with a firm grip. It’s obvious he’s trying to hide his anger.

“Listen-”

“Hoseok~!” The god’s anger disappears completely at the mention of his name. From behind him, sweet Ms. Oh comes right up to him with a small package of extra kimchi. She places a hand on his shoulder and presents the to-go container to him, “I put in a little extra kimchi in there for you.”

Hoseok accepts her offer graciously with both hands, “Thank you, ma’am. I promise to eat it all!” Ms. Oh pinches his cheek and turns to return to her kitchen. Hoseok waits until she’s completely out of ear shot before he lets his frustrated frown return, “Just think about it this way: Maybe it’s not just humans she doesn’t understand.”

Taehyung can’t help but look down to his plate, ‘Had he been too quick to judge Fate because of their own history together?’

Hoseok piles his finished dishes on top of each other and stands from the table, “I’ll see you after your lunch.”

Jimin glares after Hoseok until he leaves, “Yeah, it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t understand much,” He scoffs. He looks at his own plate and wills it all to go away, leaving only the mess so he doesn’t hurt Ms. Oh’s feelings. Leaning back in his chair he sighs, “Maybe I can try talking to Eunha again. What do you think?”

Earth looks to the Moon, but he’s somewhere else in his own space in the universe. He can’t help but rethink his most recent interruptions with Fate again and wonder if her stubbornness - as well as his own - is what’s kept them from seeing eye to eye. If he wants to help Namjoon and Eunha then he’ll have to get Fate’s approval. But how?

Taehyung looks at the guard schedule you handed him, studying the 4 blank days beside Eunha’s name. He looks up to you - still awkwardly typing away on your computer, “Days off?”

You nod, “Yes, Hoseok thinks it’ll be good for her.”

“And do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

You stop typing, your fingers curling in as you think about what to say, “I think it’ll help her figure things out for herself.” If you were a human and had everything pushed onto you the same way, you’d probably feel as overwhelmed as she looks. Even a few weeks into this whole charade and she still seems too in over her head, “Everything is still very new for her, and the stress might eat her away if she doesn’t get some kind of break.”

Taehyung laughs in disbelief, “When did you become efficient with humans?”

You choose to ignore the blonde and return to your typing, “Efficient? Wow, that’s a big word. I’m impressed.”

“Mocking me doesn’t answer my question.” Taehyung points out, sitting back in his chair and resting one leg over the other.

“Doesn’t it?” You ask, raising a brow in his direction. You shrug your shoulders and look back at your screen, “I’ll have you know that I’ve always been efficient with humans.”

“Really?” He scoffs, “Is that why you told that one lady her love line was doomed if she didn’t stop sleeping around?”

“I had to warn her.”

“She ran out of the bathroom crying.”

“The truth hurts.”

“She hit Seokjin with her purse.”

“And I bought Seokjin a coffee and a donut in return.”

“You know that’s not how you’re supposed to deal with that situation, right?”

You smile, unaffected by your actions, “I’ll consider it a learning experience then.”

“Do you even know what you should do in that situation?” He asks.

That has you pausing. Of course, in an ideal situation you wouldn’t be involved at all. But you’re not acting as a god anymore, you’re parading around as a human. And while you’re confident you know more than Taehyung about humans and their society, you can’t help but wonder if you’re more out of touch than you thought.

Taehyung sits up and moves so he can rest his arms against your desk with his chin resting on his forearms, “Are you sure you really know humans?”

The last time you had been on Earth to associate yourself with the humans was almost 7 years ago, and it was only to warn Taehyung about his own future. You’d only bumped into a few humans on the street, and you didn’t even have to speak to anyone at all. Your knowledge of humans in the last 100 years - at least - has been almost entirely reduced to nothing.

You know for a fact that Taehyung was taught about humans by Jimin himself after the blonde’s first run on the troublemakers planet. It leaves you wondering just what Taehyung has learned and if he’s capable of making better decisions than before.

You turn to the curator and mirror his position, leaning on your desk, “What would you have done?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have had to apologize to Seokjin or the lady because I wouldn’t have said anything.”

You laugh, “Well, yeah. Your lady days are behind you.”

“Once again, mocking me won’t make me wrong.” Taehyung says, tapping you on the nose with a smug grin.

You wrinkle your nose but make no effort to move and show no sign of disgust, “Are you sure?”

Taehyung finds himself staring at you longer than he normally does. You're obviously unimpressed with him, but you still seem happy. It’s like when he talks about Namjoon to Eunha and she pretends she’s not annoyed out of her mind. He thinks back to the other day with Hoseok at Ms. Oh’s and he can’t help but wonder if he could change your mind .

“Why don’t we make a deal?” He asks.

You barely gave him a chance to finish his sentence, “No.” You sit up and return to your working position.

“Come on-”

You hold up a finger to silence him, “We’re in the process of one of your deals, and I don’t like your track record.”

“Just humor me.” He pleads.

You close your eyes in annoyance, “Speak.”

“Eunha gets 4 days off. We don’t have to keep an eye on her or Namjoon. Let’s go out and really experience the human world together.” He pushes your stacks of paperwork aside, “Let me show you what humans are really like.”

“And…?” You ask, knowing he has more up his sleeve than just showing you the humans of today.

“If I prove to you that humans are more than just random strings that come and go, then you have to really help me with Eunha and Namjoon. If they’re not, then I’ll convince them to destroy the necklace on their own.” Taehyung knows he’s risking everything just to prove a point, but he’s confident that if he plays his cards right then he can get you to at least see things from his point of view, “They’re more than you give them credit for, and I think you would change your mind if you saw them in a different light than that of a god.”

“If you’re so confident you can change my mind that you’d give up after 1,000 years, then who am I to deny?” Your response has Taehyung jumping from his seat in glee, almost stumbling over the chair he was sitting in from moving too fast. You hold back a chuckle as he tries to put everything back where it belongs, “I’ll approve your time off for tomorrow.”

“You won’t regret it.” He assures you.

“I’m sure I won’t.” Despite his annoying persistence and his inability to comprehend the simplest of explanations, you can’t deny that he does try his best with everything.

Taehyung is just happy that you actually agreed. He was sure that you’d turn him down and he’d go home to figure out another way to sneak around you, but this will be perfect! All he has to do is win you over. Which may be a bit daunting now, but he’s sure he’ll get over it.

He’s about to leave when you call out to him, “Taehyung-!”

He turns and you smile, “Make sure it’s something really special if you’re going to get me to agree.”

“Trust me, it will be.”

—

“You’re an idiot.”

Not the words Taehyung expected to hear after he told Jimin and Jeongguk about his new plan. He figured they’d have some distaste for his plan, but this was a bit much.

“Come on, Jimin. Do you really have that little faith in me?” Taehyung asks.

“Yes.” The blonde walks away from the living room to go to the kitchen.

“He’s made it pretty obvious.”

Taehyung turns to the youngest deity with a frown and points a finger at him, “You have no room to talk.”

The two follow Jimin to the kitchen where the eldest of the three makes himself a glass of water at the fridge over his usual glass of champagne. When he turns and sees Taehyung again, he heaves a heavy sigh and sets the glass on the island in between them, “If you think you’re going to convince Fate that humans are something special then you have another thing coming to you, Taehyung! (Y/n) has never valued humans and she never will.”

“Like you have? She took them from you for a reason, didn’t she?” Jimin narrows his eyes at Taehyung and the Moon continues on, “Maybe she just forgot how that feels.”

“Or she won’t and this will ruin everything we’ve worked for. Did you think about that?” He asks.

“Of course I did! But I know that won’t happen.” Taehyung leans on the counter and makes himself eye-level with his friend, “You have to trust me.”

“You better not blow this.” Jimin picks up his glass and walks out.

“I won’t!” Taehyung calls after him, but the Earth has already left his orbit.

If someone were to look up the definition of worry and anxiety in a dictionary, they’d find a picture of Taehyung. Asking Fate to make a deal with him had seemed like a great idea when he first thought of it, but now as the blonde stands at the bus stop waiting for her to arrive he’s starting to have second thoughts. As much as he hates to admit it, your track record for being correct is far more superior to his. The chances of him changing your mind are about as high as Yoongi smiling at him without being forced to.

“Taehyung?” You ask, pulling the god out of his thoughts. You’re sitting right next to him and he didn’t even notice you arrived. For once, you look worried, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, the bus should be here soon.” Taehyug assures you with the best false confidence he can muster. If today is going to go well, then he needs to leave every worry on this bus bench and focus all of his energy on you and what would make you more likely to finally see from his point of view.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” You ask.

He shakes his head, “Not yet. Our outing for today will remain a surprise until we get there. Unless you’ve already looked ahead?”

He’s teasing you and you know it, “I’ve kept my hands to myself, thank you.” You assure him with a light nudge to his side, trying to ignore the amused smile that paints his features.

He nudges you back, “Good. Keep it that way.”

The bus arrives a few moments later, it’s door stopping in front of Taehyung. The both of you get up and approach the doors, waiting off to the side for previous passengers to exit. You’re about to walk around Taehyung when the last one exits, but his arm flies in front of your chest and stops you in your tracks. You have half a mind to snap at the blonde, but your anger disappears when you see why he stopped you.

“Here let me help you.” Taehyung steps forward to grab the front end of a child’s stroller, gently lifting it and helping the mother carefully steps down herself with a little girl right behind her. Taehyung sets the stroller’s wheels on the ground and turns to the little girl with a bow on the top of her head and her hair poking out like a sprout and offers her a gentle hand with a wide smile, “Here you go, baby. Watch your step.”

The young girl takes his hand and jumps off the last step, just barely reaching the sidewalk with a little help from Taehyung. Her mother cheers for her and reaches out a hand for her to come back by her side. With a quick bow she thanks Taehyung and they continue on their way. You can’t help but watch the little girl bounce after her mother, her little feet almost dancing as she toddles on. No doubt Taehyung had just made that mother’s day easier and her child’s day happier.

“Ladies first.” Taehyung motions for you to board in front of him and you climb the steps, scanning your bus pass, and walking to the first available seats close to the back. You slide into the window seat and pull your bag into your lap, Taehyung settling into the seat beside you

The bus starts moving and the two of you are locked into a peaceful silence. Well, as peaceful as it can be for Taehyung. He told himself to leave his worries behind, but he’s still sitting next to you with every worry resting on his shoulders.

You’re more than happy not worrying about the humans around you or the mischievous god to your left. It’s a nice change of pace from the museum, especially with the view of the city right outside of your window. Leisure trips aren’t something you’re often used to. Unless someone needs you or you’re required to intervene, you really don’t go anywhere. It’s almost pleasant, but it’s hard to forget the company you keep when his legs won’t stay still.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Huh?”

“Are. You. O-K?” You repeat slowly, “Your leg is shaking like crazy.”

“I’m just excited for our destination, that's all.” He assures you.

You nod, deciding to let it go for now. You’d find out soon enough.

The bus comes to a stop in front of a large, colorful building no Taehyung shoots up, “This is our stop!” He races from his seat down the aisle and you stand up and follow after him. You exit a few people after him and find the blonde staring at the large building in front of you. Dozens of children run freely, their parents rushing after them as teens and young couples parade around hand in hand.

You come to a stop beside Taehyung and give his arm a playful nudge, “Don’t tell me you were excited just to look at a building?”

He shakes his head, “I think you’re really going to enjoy yourself today.”

Without even thinking about it, Taehyung takes your hand and drags you behind him. All the way to the front doors of the building where a small line of people wait. He doesn’t miss a second and pulls out his phone, moving his head close to yours and smiling at his screen. His phone goes dark for a split second before he pulls it back to his chest. He moves on like what he did was nothing, but you’re left confused.

“What was that?” You ask.

Taehyung stops scrolling through his phone, long enough to raise an eyebrow at you. “You aren’t serious.” When you nod his eyes go even wider, “You work at a museum and you don’t know what a picture is?!”

“It’s a painting.”

“That’s a portrait.”

“There’s a difference?”

“Yes. There is, and I’m going to take millions and millions of pictures to prove it!” To make his point, he pulls the hand holding yours away to throw it over your shoulder. He taps relentlessly at his screen, occasionally switching up the angle. You try to throw a hand in front of your face to block his new attack, but he’s quick to adjust his camera to continue his harmless assault. “Why are you hiding? I’m trying to teach you what a real picture is.”

“Taehyung!” You try to push away, but the blonde has a tight grip on you.

“Take pictures with me!” He whines, trying to inch his face even closer to yours.

You can hear the humans snickering around you, but your companion doesn’t seem to care at all. He has no problem keeping you caged against him while he “takes real pictures” in a weak attempt to persuade you. He doesn’t give up in the line or on the escalator going down until you get closer to the front and he has to let you go.

“Have you purchased your tickets already?” The kind woman asks as you attempt to fix your hair from Taehyung’s attack.

Taehyung slaps his thighs with both hands before shoving them inside his far pocket and pulling out folded papers. He hands them to her, “Here you are.”

She unfolds them and takes a quick look over the words on each page, pulling a scanner similar to the ones at the museum to check them both in before handing them back with a smile, “Enjoy your time today.”

“Thank you. We will!”

The both of you move on, walking to the second set of doors beyond the ticket line and walking through to see just how big the building really is. The outside doesn’t do justice to the humans who designed something so beautiful. The entrance gives a great view of the entire park, showing off several buildings and attractions, as well the flora and special decorations placed to appease the humans that visit. Everything is so well cared for, and the glass roof just makes everything look so bright and inviting.

“Do you see anything you’d like to do first?” Taehyung asks.

You’ve heard plenty about amusement parks. Many human’s string’s will entangle themselves in gears and doors, tied to trivial things like rides and children’s games. Their opinions all seem to differ with most of them split in half on how they truly feel about the park.

You shrug, “Why don’t you choose?”

You should not have let Taehyung choose. Especially not what the humans call a rollercoaster. What insane, psychopath designed a high speed death trap that turns you on your side and flips you upside down in a metal cage?! Only one deity is sadistic enough to test the limits of Life and Death like this, and you’re positive Yoongi had something to do with the creation of such a monstrosity. At one point, you were sure Taehyung was going to lose his hands!

Not every ride was as terrible. The pirate ship had seemed gentle enough at first, but then it kept going higher and higher and you started to feel yourself slipping out of your seat. You even wrapped your arm around Taehyungs to ensure you didn’t go flying over the metal bar they’d placed against your lap.

Every ride the two of you climbed onto felt like one death trap after another. There was no way Yoongi himself didn’t come down and design each and every inhumane attraction himself just to create some form of chaos. Anyone who actually enjoyed a near death experience needs to sign themselves up for human therapy.

After your last brush with Death, you sat yourself down on a bench to catch your breath and maybe your sanity as well.

“Are you okay?” Taehyung asks.

“What?”

“Are. You. O-K?” He teases, “You’re looking a little pale for someone that isn’t capable of getting sick.”

“Well, my complexion is all thanks to you and your death traps!” You remind him. You feel like your stomach is in your throat and you don’t even have a stomach! “How could humans actually enjoy these things?”

The blonde shrugs, “You’re just not a thrill chaser. Humans like a rush.”

You look at him astonished and bewildered, “Do they forget they’re mortal?! They could die!”

“That’s the fun of it!”

You groan and lean into the back of your bench, “Oh, you really have lost it.”

Taehyung can’t help but laugh at your misery. This is the first time he’s seen you so out of your element, and it’s almost refreshing. But he reminds himself that you’re supposed to be having fun. “C’mon, we went on some nice rides.”

“Oh, yes! The children’s rides! Those were much safer.” Taehyung laughs again and you give him a quick glare to shut him up, “Why can’t the humans just enjoy simple things?”

“Because YOLO.”

“Bless you.”

“No, it’s a saying. It means ‘you only live once’,” Taehyung explains, “There are quite a few humans that live by that.”

“They would risk the one life they have for a phrase?”

“They would risk it for a chance to have fun and feel alive.” He says, rephrasing the words in a way you could understand, “Most humans have to work to live. There are only a few that don’t need to worry about food or shelter. So, those that can make a point to have as much fun before they can’t anymore.”

“I guess that’s admirable...” You’d never really taken the time to consider why humans do what they do. It all seems pointless when you’re eternal. The concept is nice to think about when you give some thought to it. It almost makes what Taehyung has been trying to do a decent idea.

You stand before you can continue thinking as a human would, “Alright, what death traps are left?”

Taehyung’s smile grows, “I’m glad you asked.”

---

“Where’s the bar?”

“It’s behind you.”

When Taehyung dragged you to the large, circular ride with couches around it’s side, you weren’t sure what to expect. But if there’s one thing you’ve learned about human rides, it’s that they need bars in front of you.

“Excuse me? What about a lap bar?”

“This ride doesn’t have one.”

“Not even a belt?”

“Nope.”

“What do I do if I can’t hold on?”

“Just hold on tight.” As soon as he says this, the ride starts. It just spins around at first, and that isn’t so bad. At least, not until the ride starts to bounce as well. The first one has you falling out of your seat and onto the floor.

Taehyung grabs your hand, having expected this to happen, “I told you to hold on!” He pulls you back into the seat next to him and you grab onto the bar once again. The blonde tries to let go, but you reach for his shirt and hold it like you could actually die if you fell again. He laughs, “You’re not supposed to hold onto me!”

“If I’m going down then so are you!” You yell, gripping the bar behind you and hoping for the ride to be over soon.

Every bump has you edging closer and closer to the moon god and it’s a miracle you aren’t sitting in his lap by the end of the ride. As soon as it stops, you’re finally able to catch your breath. You find yourself praying to Hui, hoping he’ll hear your plea and switch your job with Yoongi’s.

Taehyung, however, is trying not to freak out at your close proximity to him. You’re holding onto his jacket like the kitten he’d visited at the pet store, like falling is only inevitable if you let go of him. Your head is resting under his chin, the hand holding onto your top being the only thing to stop you from hitting him.

“Are you still okay?” He asks.

You pull away slowly, unbothered by how close the two of you had been due to your fear of dying on a human toy, “Fortunately.”

“How about we go on the last ride now?” Taehyung suggests, exchanging the hand he holds you with to take the elbow closest to him.

You don’t bother hiding the frown on your face, “Do we have to?”

“I think you’ll like this one.”

The blonde helps you off of the ride and lets you cling to his arm all the way to the other side of the park where your last ride awaits. Another circular ride, only this one has cars similar to the rolling death trap he’d locked you into only 4 rides into your experience.

You stop in the middle of the walkway, pulling Taehyung back and causing the humans to move around you, “You want me to go on the spinning death wheel? Two in a row?!”

“It’s not what you think.” You give Taehyung a look and he rolls his eyes, “Come on.”

You let him take you through the line, deciding to lift yourself up for the ride instead of letting the fear you have tear you apart. Even as you’re let on the ride and once again locked in next to Taehyung you’re trying to decide if fleeing to the other side of the planet is worth blowing your cover.

“Are you okay?” The worker settling your bar in place asks.

You offer him a weak nod, “Yeah… I’m fine.”

He hands you a small, blue plastic bag with a ring holding it open and smiles, “Just in case then.”

He goes to start the ride and you’re left confused, “What’s this for?”

“How should I know?”

The ride lurches and you grab on tight to the bar, finding yourself going backward a few feet and stopping.

“Just calm down.” Taehyung coos. He places his hand over yours and rubs his thumb over the back of it, “You worry too much.”

Your eyes are locked on his hand over yours, “Why are you doing that?”

“To comfort you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re freaking out.”

“Oh…”

“I can stop if you want.” Taehyung starts to let go, but the ride moves again and you grab onto his hand yourself.

“No!” You cry. Taehyung can’t help but laugh at how different you are in this moment, and you try your best to brush it off, “Just until we get off. That way if this monstrosity breaks you have no choice but to go to.”

Taehyung smiles knowingly, “Whatever makes you feel better.”

You cling to Taehyung as the ride continues to stop and go, squeezing his hand on the occasional tilt the car makes. It isn’t until the ride - starts to actually spin continuously that you really begin to enjoy the ride itself. You somehow manage to actually like this ride, so much so that you convince the ride attendant to let you go around again. Taehyung has no complaints, especially if you’re going to smile the whole time.

You come to a stop near the top and the blonde turns to you, “So, are you enjoying yourself?” He asks with a teasing smile.

You, however, couldn’t care less if you were wrong or not at this moment. Up in the air looking down at the colorful lights of the other rides, you feel free. You have no responsibilities up here. You exist peacefully and happily without any problems holding you back.

You’re no one.

“I’ll give you this, Moon god, this ride is nice.” You lean back in the car, letting your body rest into Taehyung’s, “I think I can understand this.”

“Not the others?” He asks, teasing more than genuine curiosity.

You shrug, “Humans are strange. If they have natural Death wishes then so be it, but I suppose that the thrill could have some appeal to the right people.”

Taehyung sighs and let’s go of your hand, using his arm to wrap around your shoulders, “I was hoping you'd see things my way.”

You smile and poke his nose the way he’d done to you the other day, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Taehyung. We’re not there yet.”

“Yet~” He says with an air of hope.

“We’ll see how you play your cards.” You say. For now, you intend to enjoy the moment while it’s still here.

---

“So, what are we doing here?” You ask.

Taehyung had told you today would be even better than yesterday before the two of you parted last night - and with how terrible those rides had been it should be pretty easy to make a good impression. Anything would be better than getting on those traps again.

“We’re shopping!” He says excitedly, but his enthusiasm has you confused.

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun?”

“But you don’t need to buy things.” You remind him, “You’re a deity. You can make whatever you want.”

“Yeah, but this feels more human.”

You tilt your head in confusion, “Why would you want to feel human?”

He sighs - he won’t get anywhere when you’re like this, “Why don’t I just show you and then you can ask questions?”

You move to the side and extend your hand, presenting the way for him, “Lead the way.”

He takes your outstretched hand and leads you down the sidewalk, walking in front of you with your connected hands behind his back to lead you through the crowd. You begrudgingly walk behind him, looking at the shop windows as you pass.

“This way!” Taehyung squeezes your hand and pulls you to the left, and you unconsciously squeeze back and follow him. He takes you to the entrance of a store with it’s door wide open, a rack full of children’s clothes keeping the door from closing.

The store itself is filled with nothing but clothes of all types and various accessories scattered across the shop. Young women cling together as they scan the racks and some show off their finds near the back. An older gentleman and a boy who looks to be his son stick to the men’s section to the right of the store, the son shaking his head here and there when his father shows him a new item.

Taehyung immediately takes off for the women’s section without you and you’re not really sure why he’s the excited one. You follow him anyways, arms crossed and so far highly unimpressed with his first pick of the day.

“Trying to relive the old days?” You jest as the blonde sifts through the rack.

“Nope.” He says, choosing to ignore you in favor of looking through the clothes. He keeps going for a few seconds until he finds something he deems worthy enough, “Here it is!”

You half expected him to pull out a dress, but you’re surprised when he pulls out a shirt very similar to his. You double take and realize that it is the same shirt before you’re back to being unimpressed, “What is that?”

“A shirt.”

You’re offended that he would think you’re that incompetant, “I know it’s a shirt! Why would I want it?”

“So we can match!” He shakes the shirt out of excitement and almost drops it when he spots something else, “Look! They even have cute little scrunches!” He picks one up, a little, blue hair piece with yellow crescents all over it.

“You mean like this?” You ask, placing your palms flat as if they’re against a table and lifting, flipping them over to reveal the same bow, “Something I can make?”

Taehyung feels deflated and he doesn’t say anything right away. You’re a very to-the-point person, and he knows there’s only one way he can really get through to you.

“Could I see that for a second?” Taehyung asks, pointing to the scrunchie in your hand. You look down at it and shrug, handing it over to him without a second thought. He smiles, “Thanks.”

He takes both your scrunchie and the scrunchie he had picked up and chucks from across the store, one landing on a rack and the other in someone’s hair. You’re stunned by the fact that he - of all people - would even consider such a thing, “Taehyung-!”

Taehyung smiles - as if he hadn’t just done anything wrong - and places his empty hand on your shoulder, “New plan. You don’t get to say no to this.” He turns you around by the shoulder and nudges you in the direction of the exit, “Come on.”

You groan as he leads you to the register. Yesterday was fine, but if this is how the rest of today is going to go, then you want it to end now.

Taehyung stops in front of the register and places both the shirt and the scrunchie in front of the attendant, “We’ll take these, please.”

“Oh! Matching shirts! The both of you are going to look so cute! Here-” The girl scans the shirt, grabs a number placard, and hands both of them to you, “You can use our changing room to put it on before you leave.”

“No, that’s o-” You were perfectly happy denying her help, but the kicked puppy look Taehyung is giving you has you back peddling. You muster the most sincere smile you can, “Yes. Thank you. I appreciate the offer.”

You leave Taehyung to pay the human, begrudgingly walking to the fitting rooms she had so kindly offered you. This was not your idea of fun. This is an unnecessary waste of your time. Why anyone would willingly waste their day just to change clothes you don’t think you’ll ever understand.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you can at least appreciate the color. It’s simple enough that you don’t have to worry about standing out. But standing next to Taehyung wearing matching shirts isn’t going to help you any.

“(Y/n)? Are you done?” Taehyung asks, his voice echoing from the other side of the door. You sigh, relenting to a fate of your own and open the door, the shirt you were wearing hanging over your arm.

“Well?” You ask. The blonde takes a step back from the door, eyeing you up and down.

“Wow…” His smile is so wide you’d think the action hurts. He looks like a child seeing snow for the first time. He's so excited. His beaming smile - as well as the giggling girls standing in front of the room next to you - has you feeling hot with embarrassment.

You shuffle forward and cross your arms, “Are you happy now?”

“Very.” He assures you. He knew you were pretty, but you just look so cute when you’re all flustered. It’s nice to see you finally being the one grasping for straws. “Come on, we have a lot to do.”

---

“Food?” You ask, eyeing the numerous stalls that line the street in front of you.

Taehyung nods, “You’ve only had a diet of shrimp chips and strawberry milk. I think it’s time you branch out.”

He leads you to the first stall and points to a tray before he hands the man money in exchange for two sticks with something skewered to them. He hands one to you, and you’re left staring at the item in your hand, “And this is?”

“Food. Eat it.” You’re unsure at first, but you agreed(forcefully agreed) to do whatever Taehyung decided to do for the day. You take a hesitant bite, but one bite is all it took to understand. Taehyung must be able to tell by whatever expression you’re making, “Good, isn’t it?”

You turn to the vendor with your mouth still somewhat full, “Can we get 2 more, please?”

He nods and gets you two more, but Taehyung is quick to take them out of his hands before you can. “Don’t fill up! We have a whole street to go through.” He gestures to the other stalls around you, and for once you’re actually excited to listen to the mischievous god.

It takes you almost 2 hours just to get back to where you started, and you’re sure you’d be on the ground if you were a human. You have to give Taehyung credit where it’s due, this was a great idea.

“What’s next?” You ask, turning to Taehyung with a bit more hope for the future.

He shrugs, “I guess we could go around for seconds but that might scare the humans.”

You frown, realizing how reckless you’ve been, “I guess you’re right.”

Your change in demeanor throws Taehyung for a loop. This isn’t the first time you’ve dismissed him - or anything - like this. He knows you’re reluctant to tell him, so he thinks of something that’ll get your attention, “Let’s look at what trinkets are being sold.”

“Trinkets?” You ask curiously.

“Like the things Jimin sells in the gift shop.”

“Merchandise?”

He shrugs, “Sure.”

Taehyung leads you back down the street, passing several food stalls before he reaches a jewelry stand that might catch your attention. He takes a quick look over the items on display before he finds one you might actually enjoy.

He turns around and pulls you closer to the stand, pointing to the simple, silver necklace with a glittering ball charm, “What do you think about this?”

You shrug, “It’s no soulmate necklace, but I guess it’s nice.” Taehyung seems disappointed by your response so you take a closer look. It’s nice in theory, pretty and sparkling. You’d have to guess anyone would enjoy something like this. “The charm is shiny.”

“Well, yeah. It’s supposed to be.” You give him a look, and he chuckles. He gets the vendor’s attention and waves them over, “How much is this?”

“5.”

Taehyung pulls out some money and hands it over, “Here you go.”

You watch him as he puts the money away, “Why’d you buy it?”

“The little things! Now, turn around.” You give in and turn around, waiting for the inevitable push forward to come. But instead, Taehyung’s hands come down over your head and with one end of the necklace in each hand, “There. Now you look even better.”

“Oh? So I was ugly before?” You ask, turning around to face the Moon god with a teasing smile.

Taehyung’s eyes widen, “What? No! That’s not what I meant! You’re beautiful, I just-” He finds it hard to come up with the right words to say, “-I just think this compliments your look.”

“Thank you.” You say, feeling the heat in your cheeks. You’re also at a loss for words, unsure of how to respond. You’ve never been complimented by someone, “Um-...What else did you want to do today?”

Taehyung looks at his watch and sighs, “It’s not time for us to go to our next surprise, so I guess we’ll have to be spontaneous.”

“Spontaneous? What a big word, I’m impressed.” You tease, earning a glare from the blonde. You sigh, “Fine. I’m sorry. Lead the way.”

The two of you were able to find a park. At least this one wasn’t full of death traps like the other had been. This one only had slides, a merry-go-round, swings, and rocking horses. Of course, you were skeptical at first, but Taehyung’s judgement had proved to be good enough. It was simple enough, and far less terrifying than the amusement park. He was right when he said it’d buy you some time, because the two of you spent quite a bit of time enjoying the playsets made for human children until you finally had to leave for your next surprise.

“Next!” The attendant calls out before the family in front of you even moves. Taehyung leads the way around them to the counter, and you follow behind him like you have all day. The human teenager seems less than enthused to be stuck in a box, “For two?”

Taehyung nods, “Yes. We’d like the 7:30 showing of Save Me.”

The boy tells him the price and holds out his hand, accepting the money Taehyung gives him and handing back two tickets in return, “Enjoy the show. Next!”

“I think we just found Yoongi’s twin.” Taehyung says, more to himself than to you, but it has you bursting into laughter. The blonde opens the door for you, amused by your reaction, “Oh, so you do think I’m funny?”

“No!” You stop and wait for him to catch up with you before you relent, “Okay, so maybe you can be funny, but it’s not a common thing for you.”

He scoffs, “Uhuh, sure. Let’s just get some snacks.”

“Comfort food?”

“As much as we can handle.”

And he stays true to that. The two of you put the poor girl behind the snack counter through the ringer with the amount of candies you buy. The tray to hold your hot food is so packed that you have to carry the popcorn and two of the boxes you bought so it all could fit! The humans that you pass on your way to your movie send you judgemental looks, but if you were them, then you probably would too.

Taehyung leads the way to a small, two-seat balcony section over the theater’s entrance, the first row so you don’t have to hold your tray throughout the movie. You both get settled while videos play on the screen - something that the human’s call previews. Taehyung picks up the hot food he had bought first to eat, and you have no complaints eating them while you wait for your movie to start.

When the lights do finally dim and the crowd in the theater begins to hush, you can’t help but turn to Taehyung, “This isn’t going to be scary, is it?”

“Can I be honest with you?” He asks. You nod, “I have no clue.”

---

Thankfully for you, the movie had not been scary. There were some parts that had you jump from the sudden action, but nothing terrible. It was entertaining for something made in the eyes of a human.

“How clever are humans to paint Fate so well? I’m actually impressed with their interpretation!” You rave as you leave the theater.

Your smile is radiant and Taehyung can feel himself relax, “So, does that mean you liked the movie?” He asks.

“It was enjoyable,” You agree. You can’t deny that seeing your job portrayed correctly has taken you off guard. Not only that, but it’s amusing to think that humans understand your duties better than the deity in front of you. “Though, I’m confused as to why Fate was a talking house cat.”

He shrugs, “Humans are innovative. Their creativity doesn’t have any bounds.”

“I suppose you could say that.” The both of you walk around the corner of the building to the alley, out of eyesight from the humans, “Same time tomorrow?” You ask.

Taehyung nods, “Yeah. Wear sneakers.”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you later.” You look around before you disappear, leaving Taehyung to stare at the empty space where you stood.

This is only your second day out and it feels like an eternity. But the feeling isn’t bad at all. Neither of you have really pushed at the other like you normally do and it’s weird. It’s like that line of friend and enemy has been crossed and you don’t have to be Fate or Moon God.

You’re just (Y/n) and Taehyung.

Both you and Taehyung walk down the street, fairly close to the museum. He’d taken you for a late morning-early afternoon bike ride through the park a few blocks over. Taehyung himself has always found bikes to be a bit more exciting than cars, enjoying the feeling of flying through the air and seeing nature’s colors without a shield.

You sigh, “I’ve never realized just how beautiful trees can be.” You’ve never spent much time on Earth - even in the past few weeks that you’ve spent babysitting. But today you both spent a good hour or so just riding around the park - you even biked the path next to the river. Of course, like everything else, it took a moment for you to really get into everything, but today has been the fastest you’ve given in and felt something other than indifference. Not only did you relax, but Taehyung was able to as well.

“It’s a lot nicer when you can feel the wind through your hair. It makes it feel more magical.” Taehyung agrees. He’d never say it outloud, but this version of you has really captured his attention. He’s barely even thought about worrying over Namjoon and Eunha. There’s just something about the time you’ve spent together that just feels right now.

“I guess it does.”

Taehyung smiles and jogs in front of you, stopping in front of a restaurant, pulling open the door, and offering you a deep bow, “Madame~”

You attempt to bite back a smile and give a small nod back, “Thank you.”

Walking into the cozy little restaurant, you are quickly greeted by the middle aged woman at the counter, “Welcome!”

She’s turned around, so she doesn’t see who’s entered, but Taehyung walks up to the counter and greets her back, “Good afternoon, Yuna!”

Yuna turns around and coos when she confirms it’s Taehyung, “Taehyung!” He waves back at her and she nods, turning back around and tapping the window cut into the wall, “Mom! One of your regulars is here.”

“Who is it?” You hear her before you see her, the door to the kitchen opening to reveal Ms. Oh with her hair tucked away in a hair net. She scans her restaurant and a smile breaks out on her face when she sees Taehyung standing at her counter, “Oh! Taehyung, my handsome boy! Give me a hug.” Ms. Oh all but runs around her front counter and holds out her arms, Taehyung wrapping his arms over the elder woman. She squeezes him tight and sways him back and forth, pulling away to look over his shoulder, “Where’s Hoseok and Jimin?”

He shrugs, “They’re working today.”

“Oh, I see...” She nods in understanding. Turning her attention to you, her eyes going back and forth between you and Taehyung before something seems to click in her brain and any confusion she had turns into mischief, “And who’s this lovely lady~?”

You smile, “(Y/n), it’s nice to meet you.”

“We’re here on a date.” Taehyung adds, a mischievous smile of his own.

Ms. Oh gasps, “A date?!” Taehyung nods and poor Ms. Oh looks like she’s going to have a fit. She turns Taehyung around and pushes him towards you, the deity grabbing onto your shoulders to steady himself, “Oh, you sit down and stop talking to a little old lady like me. You have this beautiful young woman next to you and you’re going to waste time talking to some prune?!”

Taehyung adheres to her advice and starts to lead you to a table by the window, Ms. Oh following the two of you with a menu. He can’t stop himself from adding on as you sit down, “Her beauty is only second to yours, Ms. Oh~”

“You’re not getting a discount. Sit.” She taps his shoulder with the menu and he complies, sitting down and accepting her menu with both hands.

She ruffles his hair and walks away, leaving you both amused and confused, “Well, she’s charming.”

“Ms. Oh is full of personality. Hoseok only comes here for her.” Taehyung laughs before adding on, “And her kimchi.”

The two order their food and continue to make small talk as they wait. It’s hard to miss Ms. Oh peeking over the order window, and Taehyung makes a show out of waving at her everytime he catches her. It’s no surprise when she personally delivers their food to them.

“Here we are~ I expect this food to be all gone before you leave, do you understand?” She gives both of you an expectant look.

Taehyung nods, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Now-” She grabs a chair from a nearby table, pulls it over, and sits down, “-how did the two of you meet?”

“(Y/n) is actually the owner of the museum.” Taehyung explains, taking a bite of his food.

This seems to impress Ms. Oh, “She is?!” She looks to you for confirmation and you do with a hand covering your mouth. She leans back in her seat with a small, seemingly knowing smile, “Wow, so you’re really hitting it off with the boss~”

You choke on your food and Taehyung chuckles, “You could say that.”

Ms. Oh sighs, “I understand. I was hitting it off with the boss’ son back in my day. It got me this restaurant!”

“Mom! Leave that poor couple alone!” Yuna scolds from across the room.

You wave your hands before you speak up, “No, she’s fine!”

She smiles at you and Taehyung continues the conversation, “So, you took over your husband’s family business?”

“I’m afraid it wasn’t until after he died that I took over, but we did run it together for 45 years.” Ms. Oh looks out the window, most likely reminiscing on old days when her husband was alive and well. You give Taehyung a small kick under the table for bringing up a sensitive topic, and his hiss of pain has Ms. Oh breaking out of her thoughts. She must catch onto what happened, because she puts her hand over yours and laughs, “You sweet thing! Your friend Hoseok reminds me of him when he stops by. He likes my kimchi almost as much as my Changbin did.”

Even with a smile, you can still tell how much pain she went through, “I am so sorry for your loss.”

She sighs, “It was a while ago. That wound has closed over now.”

“Still-...those 45 years must have been wonderful.” Taehyung adds, offering a warm smile.

“I cherish every single moment and memory. I keep my most important one’s close to me.” Ms. Oh looks over to where Yuna hands over a delivery order.

“Is Yuna your only child?” You ask.

She squeezes your hand, “My eldest - Hanbin - died in the car accident with his father. Soobin hasn’t spoken to me since he graduated high school.”

“I’m so sorry…” You’re at a loss for words. Comforting humans - comforting others - is not something you’re used to.

“That’s Fate for you.” She shrugs, unbeknownst to her that she’s holding Fate’s hand. Your eyes widen and you look to Taehyung for help, but he’s keeping his head down. Thankfully, Ms. Oh’s determination and free spirit can’t be stopped by something as trivial as strings, “But Fate has brought me wonderful customers such as yourself.”

You smile, “Thank you.”

“And besides, I get plenty of handsome young men coming into my store everyday. Fate blessed me there.” She looks at Taehyung with another bright smile, but you’re no longer as happy as you were, “Oh, look-! I’ve dampened the mood.” Ms. Oh stands up and puts her chair back where it belongs, “The two of you eat up and enjoy each other’s company. Make the most of it.”

“Thank you.” Taehyung gives her a small bow before she walks back to her kitchen, leaving you to sit and think about this nice human who’s had everything cut short by her own family’s strings.

Your strings.

Taehyung sets his head on the table where your eyes stare at nothing, “You okay?”

You meet his eyes and look past him to watch Ms. Oh hug her daughter, “She’s so happy...yet she’s had so much taken from her.”

Taehyung shrugs, “You haven’t been kind to her.”

You nod in agreement, “I wish I could have been.”

---

After lunch with Ms. Oh, you had to make a quick stop by the museum. You didn’t say what you had to get, but Taehyung was happy to wait for you by the front doors. He made good conversation with Jin, even found out a bit more about the man’s many, many failed relationships. Thankfully, you were back within a few minutes, and the two of you still managed to make it to the mall and window shop before you were called away by the council.

Council meetings always come on like cold chills, and it was hard to miss with how violently your body shook. He could tell you were reluctant to go, especially if he wasn’t going with you. But he let you go, assuring you that the outing for tomorrow would need rest anyway.

Now, he stands in front of his apartment door fiddling with the keys to enter his apartment the correct way for the first time in days.

“Hey, I’m ho-Oh!” Taehyung stumbles back, throwing a hand over his eyes. Jimin takes up the couch, sharing his “time” with someone he can’t see, “Sorry…”

Jimin stands up and sighs, fixing his shirt, “It’s okay. Nothing we can’t get back to.” Jeongguk sits up with his brown mop tousled and bruises all over his neck and chin - As surprised as Taehyung is, he really shouldn’t be. Jimin sits back down and crosses his arms, “I see you’re still alive. I wasn’t sure when you didn’t come barging into my room.”

“Yesterday and today went great!” He explains. He begins to take off his shoes, “I took her to an amusement park the first day - and that probably wasn’t my best decision - she really didn’t like a lot of the rides, but she actually relaxed for once! And then today! I took her shopping and we got matching shirts, and we ate tons of food, and I even bought her this cute little necklace. SHe actually liked it. And we-!”

Jimin holds up his hands, “Woah, woah, woah! Hold on! Slow down for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re starting to sound like you like her.”

Taehyung shrugs, “So? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“No! If you like her then she can use you!” Jimin hits the coffee table with his hand and stands from the couch, “I should’ve known this would happen.”

Taehyung tilts his head in confusion, “What would happen?”

“You!” Jimin yells, “You’re too soft! Too good. If you keep going like this then she’ll only stab you in the back.”

“I’m just getting to know her!”Taehyung defends, “She’s actually not that bad once you find common ground. She actually does this cute little thing with her nose when she’s scared-”

Jimin crosses the room and grabs Taehyung by the front of his shirt, “-Stop it! Listen to yourself! Friends shouldn’t be cute to you!”

“I think you’re overreacting, Jimin.” Jeongguk pipes up from the couch.

JImin turns around with a glare, “Stay out of this, Kookie!”

Taehyung takes this opportunity to push Jimin’s hands off of him, “I’m just trying to get her on our side.”

“Yeah? Well, don’t forget who dropped everything to help you in the first place.” The blond reminds him.

Taehyung is stunned for a minute, “You could’ve said no.” He’s never shown distaste since the first day he agreed to help him. He’s only used every opportunity to reinvent this new version of him. If Jimin was unhappy, then he had ample opportunity to tell him.

“A good friend would help you!”

“Then why are you so angry?!”

“Because you’re letting Fate blind you!” Jimin pushes against Taehyung’s chest and the Moon god stumbles back into the wall behind him, “You’re letting her get into your head, and before you know it everything we’ve worked for will be for nothing-!”

“-You’re wrong!” Taehyung yells, pushing back against him in retaliation, “You don’t know that!”

Jeongguk tries to grab JImin in hopes of reeling him in, but the Earth god throws his arms out to the side, “She doesn’t care, Taehyung! She doesn’t care about the humans and she doesn’t care about you!”

“Then stay out of it!” Taehyung turns his back to his friend and returns to the door where his shoes are.

“Where are you going?” Jimin asks, still very angry.

Taehyung picks up his shoes and shrugs, “If you won’t help with my plan then I won’t force you.”

“Taehyung wait-!” Jeongguk tried, but the Moon couldn’t care less. He’s been around people that don’t want to be near him long enough to understand when he should just go.

He finds himself by the river again. Not even 12 hours ago he was here with you and he was smiling and happy and free and now it’s tainted. He can feel his own rays of light shining down to give him warmth, but it’s for nothing. He doesn’t feel it.

At a moment like this, he just wants to feel something.

You’d like to feel less.

Council meetings have never been anyone’s favorite. It’s very rare that every deity is required to attend, and it’s tasked upon the High 6 to meet regularly to maintain balance. You’ve done it since the beginning of the universe and you doubt it wil stop until the very end. The only thing worse than a regular meeting and a full meeting, is a meeting called to discuss the Pillars of Balance.

These meetings are never in your favor.

“Have the 3 of you forgotten how your jobs work?” Seowoo - the Cosmos asks, annoyance dripping from her tongue.

You, Yoongi, and Hoseok stand before the other 3, holding your ground together as they all stare you down. Seowoo is almost livid, while Juhyun looks like he doesn’t care either way. Hui - as always - is almost impossible to read.

“It’s not like we haven’t been trying. You try spending 6 days straight with Taehyung and see if you can tolerate him enough.”

Juhyun sighs, “Why don’t we just strip his powers away? Won’t that fix the problem?” He doesn’t even attempt to hide his boredom.

Seowoo shakes her head, “He needs to be stripped of his powers! We warned him the first time and look where that got us!”

You absolutely disagree, “Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?” You ask.

She scoffs, “You’re the reason we’re in this position in the first place!”

“Excuse me?”

“We should have taken his powers away years ago, but you just had to baby him!”

You’re offended, “Because it was his first offense and I thought he learned his lesson! You’re the ones that didn’t try to understand him!” You’ve never once shown special treatment to anyone. You definitely aren’t now.

“Oh, I understand him alright. He’s a menace, and you’ve only encouraged his behavior!”

“I tried to do what was best for him!” You argue.

Juhyun pipes up, “What about what’s best for everyone else?”

He makes a valid point, but you know that taking the powers away really won’t be helping anyone, “He’s lonely on his planet. Taking away his ability to visit others won’t fix that.”

“Maybe he’d stop trying to do everyone’s job…” Seowoo mumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and sitting back in her chair.

“This is just a rough patch for him.” You explain. You know Taehyung, and as much as he thinks you’re changing, he’s changing just as much. “He needs to see that this isn’t going to go the way he wants and he’ll stop!”

“Or he’ll do it all over again!” Seowoo argues, completely exasperated.

Juhyun looks to Hoseok and Yoongi on either side of you for some kind of helpful input, “Are the two of you listening to this?”

Hoseok nods, “We stand behind (Y/n)’s decisions.”

Seowoo groans in annoyance and turns to the only other person who can do anything, “Hui, talk some sense into them. Into her.”

“(Y/n)-” He stands from his chair and leaves his platform, extending his arm to you, “Come with me.”

You ignore the pleased smile on Seowoo’s face and take his arm, allowing him to lead you away from the enclosed room. He takes you to a small balcony just off the room, a curtain being the only door between you and the others. The balcony has a beautiful view of the galaxy, showcasing twinkling stars and distant planets. You try to enjoy it, but your nerves are too on edge.

Hui joins you, resting his arms on the railing, “Have you been alright?”

This takes you by surprise, “Of course! What kind of question is that?” You ask.

“You’ve been acting differently for quite some time now.” He explains, “I’d say since Taehyung first started causing trouble.”

You shake your head, “I think you’re wrong. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

He turns his head to look at you, “I don’t believe you are.”

You sigh, “Look, Seowoo has always been dramatic. I promise you that I am taking this situation seriously.”

“When Jimin severed the humans from their soulmates, you nearly ended his entire career. You didn’t give Taehyung that treatment.” He’s not wrong, but Jimin’s situation was so much different from Taehyung’s.

“Taehyung messed with the fate of 2 individuals, not an entire population...” You remind him.

Hui looks down and back up, sighing, “What are you trying to achieve?”

“Taehyung doesn’t understand. I’m trying to help him come to terms with their future, but it’s just taking a little longer.”

Hui laughs, “He’s a moon. He doesn’t understand, and it’s very likely he never will. He’s not like you.”

“Taehyung has never had anyone call out to him for help.” You explain, “He’s only insistent on doing this because Namjoon came to him and now he feels responsible!”

“So, that’s what’s wrong with him…” The Universe seems to understand.

“I thought after what happened the first time, he would have understood. That he would have given up on something that was so doomed from the start, but he’s determined.” In a way, you really feel for Taehyung. He’s doing what he thinks is right, but his determination is only causing more pain than good. “I’m just trying to help him.”

“I think you and I both know that helping him is no way to help him.”

“I’m hoping to lessen his pain! We stripped Jimin of his powers and now look at him!” After stripping him of his powers, the Earth god became so much more human-like than anyone could have anticipated. He found other ways to play with humans and make them praise him, and his resentment has yet to fully diminish.

Hui tilts his head in confusion, “We?”

You heave a heavy sigh, “I.”

Hui shrugs, “I thought you said he deserved it? You thought it was best.”

“Well I was wrong!” You admit, slapping your hand against the cool marble railing. Watching Jimin over the years try to assimilate has always made you feel terrible. No matter how justified your actions may have been, watching him has always felt wrong, “Let me make this right.”

He sighs, “You know, Fate has no use for Hope.”

You laugh, “Some omnipotent being I am…”

Hui shrugs, “You can’t help that you’ve fallen in love.”

His words have you whipping your head faster than the speed of light, “What?”

“You can’t help that yo-”

“No. I heard you the first time.” You assure him. You heard him loud and clear and he could not be more wrong, “I’m not in love with Taehyung.”

He smiles knowingly, “I never said it was Taehyung.”

“But you implied it was!” He raises an eyebrow as if to challenge you, and you’re astonished. You can feel the heat rising on your cheeks and you find yourself stumbling over your words, “I am not in- In love with Taehyung! He’s a thorn in my side!”

He chuckles and turns his attention to the view in front of you, “You’re lucky.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your job brings you close to humans. You get to experience their emotions far more than the rest of us.” He explains, his gaze locked on the inhabited planet.

You’re completely confused, “Is there a point you’re trying to make? Gods have no use for emotions.”

“Is that so?” He asks. He turns his head to you with a mischievous smile, “Or is that just what we decided was best?”

You pout, “We’ve already seen what human emotions can do to us 1 too many times…”

“And we’ve learned.” He agrees, “Why don’t you give it a shot?”

You shake your head, “How is an emotion like love supposed to help me right now?”

“Let me ask you this: Are you doing this to give Taehyung a second chance? Or is this your 4th?” He asks.

It’s been far too long since you were first created as the Goddess of Fate. In that time, you’ve learned the in’s and out’s of what it takes. Most importantly, you’ve experienced most of your rules first hand. It’s been so long and pushed so far out of your mind, that even you forget about your own shortcomings.

“You’ve made mistakes and you have regrets. You’re not perfect.”

You scoff, thinking of Seowoo, “Perfect is apparently a part of the job...”

Hui sighs and pushes away from the railing, “I’ll tell the other’s that this situation is no longer any of our business and you, Yoongi, and Hoseok will make everything right, just as you always do. But do me a favor and remember what we’ve talked about.”

He walks away, leaving you on the balcony by yourself to think. He’s always such a strange character, and sometimes he’s almost unconventional. He should be a God of Mischief instead of your Universe. But he does leave you with many things to mull over.

Are you projecting your own past regrets onto Taehyung without even realizing it? Are you hoping that by fixing Taehyung, you’ll feel better about all of your past mistakes? Do you really see him as just an acquaintance, or are you actually in love with him? It doesn’t make sense to you. There are many reasons to treat him differently.

You can’t be in love with Taehyung.

You feel a tug on your finger, and it’s very light at first, but it soon gets harder and more urgent. This usually means that someone is doing something they shouldn’t, and if the track records are anything to go off of then the Moon god is the one to blame.

You quickly make the travel from Star 13 to Earth, following your strings to the mischievous god. You’re not surprised to see him flinging rocks into the river, nor are you surprised to see the overturned trash cans and benches along the path to him. Taehyung has always been emotional, and he tends to go overboard when he gets upset. You fix most of his mess and hurry to stop him, hoping to get to him before someone calls the human authorities on him.

“You know-” Taehyung stops mid-throw, “there are easier ways to contact me.”

He’s surprised - and he really shouldn’t be. He knew if he caused a big enough scene then you’d have no choice but to come and see what he was up to. A part of him knew exactly what he was doing, but his irrational side would never let him admit it.

Taehyung lets his arm fall to his side and he lightly tosses the last rock into the water, “When have I ever used a normal means?”

You shrug, “I suppose I should’ve expected something like this.”

Neither of you are sure what to say after that. Taehyung is fighting an inner battle with himself, unsure if he actually wants your help or regrets trying in the first place. And you’re still reeling from the conversation with hUi and what exactly it is that you’re feeling. But either way, you are there and Taehyung does need help.

“So-” You start, coming up next to him and sitting in the grass, “What’s bothering you?”

“Why do you think something’s bothering me?” “Okay, so, maybe something is bothering me.”

“Wanna talk about it?” “You ask, patting the spot next to you, “I promise I’ll try my best to not-...” You hesitate, “-be so me.”

“You aren’t the problem,” Taehyung sighs, “Well-” He sits down cross-legged next to you, “-you are, but you aren’t.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I know, just bare with me.”

“Okay.”

Taehyung sighs, “Jimin and I got into a fight over the deal you and I made.”

“Why?” You ask.

“He doesn’t think you can change.” He admits.

Knowing your relationship with Jimin, you really can’t blame him for thinking that way, “I guess to someone like Jimin, that would make the most sense. I’ve never really been easy on him.”

“Yeah, but that’s biased!”

“Are you saying you aren’t biased?” You ask. Taehyung opens his mouth, but words don’t come out. You place a hand on his shoulder, “Jimin has his reasons.”

Taehyung sighs and looks to his lap, “I know, that’s what scares me…”

“Well, you kn-Oh!” You feel something cold at your feet and stand up. The water of the river has risen, slowly coming closer to you, “We should move back. The water is really coming in.” You take a few steps back, but Taehyung stays in his spot, “Taehyung?”

The moon god just lays back and looks to the sky where his planet shines bright, “Most of Jimin’s planet is made up of water. I’ve always loved it’s color and how beautiful it looks from my planet. I guess I’m just attracted to it.”

“It’s normal to be attracted to beautiful things.” You rationalize.

Taehyung tilts his head back to look at you, “Did you know that humans are 70% water?” He asks. You shake your head and he positions his so that he can see his planet again. “I think I have an obsession.”

“No.” You move to sit just above his head in the grass and lean over him ever so slightly, making sure the god can see you, “I think you have feelings.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “Is that really any better? Gods aren’t supposed to have feelings.”

His point is exactly what you had said to Hui, but the Universe had made some fair points as well, “Then why do we have them?”

“We?” Taehyung questions.

“You heard me. We all have them, even Hui and Yoongi do! Why would we have feelings if we aren’t supposed to have them?” You ask. Taehyung looks confused. He reaches his hand up and rests it at your cheek, holding it there for a moment before pinching it between his fingers “Ow!”

You slap his hand and he pulls it away, “Sorry, I just had to make sure you aren’t from Planet 181.” You give him a hard glare and he holds his hands in front of his chest, “It’s just weird that you’re being so positive and-...supportive.” You’re not usually a very supportive person. Of course, he’s been able to see a new side of you these past few days, but it’s still so new. It starts to make him think something else is going on.

He sits up and scoots himself back so he can sit next to you, “Did something happen with the council?”

“They-uh…” It’s hard to meet his eyes. You can only think back to what Hui had said about your own feelings in this moment, and you have to remind yourself that this needs to be a professional moment. You decide to tell him the better news. “Hui is leaving the situation in my hands. They’re going to stay out of it from now on.”

“I honestly can’t tell if that’s good news for me or not.” He jokes. You shake your head, but you find it hard to be mad at him. Over the past few days, you’ve really seen a change in him, and you’d be lying if you said you haven’t noticed your own changes. Maybe you can both win at the end of this.

“Maybe it can be good.” He tilts his head in confusion and you sigh, “I will try to help you from here on out.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise, “Really?! But we still have one more day!”

“And you can still show me whatever you have left. I just-” You look for the right words to say. You don’t want to give him false hope, but there are ways to trick Fate. You just can’t do it alone, “Maybe there is something more I can do.”

“Really?!” You nod, “Oh! Yes! Thank you!” Taehyung tackles you to the ground with a hug, “You’re amazing! I knew I could change your mind!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You awkwardly pat Taehyung on the back, “Just know I’ll do my best. Now, get off of me!”

Taehyung rolls off of you, but he’s not ready to let go. His hand finds yours and he intertwines your fingers with his, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

He squeezes your hand, “Giving me a chance.”

“Fate isn’t very notorious for letting things just magically fall into place,” You admit. You turn your head to look at him and smile, “But second chances can happen.”

“I promise not to let you down.” He says. He looks back to the sky and sighs, “I just hope Eunha and Namjoon get the opportunity to spend time like this.”

“Like this?” You ask, slightly confused.

“Together.”

He says it so innocently, that you’re unsure if he considers your relationship with him to be similar to theirs or if he enjoys the new dynamic the two of you have. He looks so at peace lying next to you, holding your hand and enjoying the view of his planet. His own rays bathe him in a healthy glow and you can feel a flutter in your chest. You can’t help but think of what he means to you.

Maybe you are in love with Taehyung.

Your weekend with Taehyung made you feel special and light, a bit more free than you’ve felt in a millennia. For once, you’ve haven’t worried over strings or worried about their pull. You only worried about yourself and you got to focus on what it’s like to step outside of the box. You got to be you, and now you’re one step closer to knowing how you feel about Taehyung.

But all good things must come to an end.

There’s a moment in time when a dam breaks that everything seems to slow down. It’s like gravity forgets to pull down and everything is left hanging in the air. Your stomach drops and life just seems to drain out of you knowing the inevitable is coming whether you want it to or not. That’s how it feels looking at your hands and following every last string to it’s end.

“Are you going to tell him?” Hoseok asks.

You shake your head, “No.” You want to more than anything, but you can’t let your feelings cloud your judgement. Even if you did, you know Taehyung’s would guide him, and that has never worked well for anyone in the past. “Telling him won’t help him.”

“But he’s going to be really angry with you when he finds out.” Hoseok - the sweet God he is - picked up on your changes a while ago. He figured out your feelings even before Hui did, and seeing your progress be disrupted by this has him on edge.

“I’ll deal with it when I get there.” You assure him. You can’t worry about the future when you really need to focus on the now, “Did you find him?”

He nods, “It took a while, but Yoongi managed.”

You nod in approval, “Good. Don’t be too hard on him.”

“That’s not fun, (Y/n).” He whines.

You wave him off, “Just take Yoongi and do what I tell you.”

“Fine, but you owe me.” He relents. He turns to leave, but he turns back with a sly smirk, “Maybe we should call you the love god.”

“Goodbye, Hoseok!”

He finally leaves, and you’re left with the possibilities ahead of you.

A happy ending isn’t written, it’s hardly even a good ending as far as humans would be concerned. The string knots and breaks every single time. It’s disappointing to say the least, especially after the promise you made to Taehyung. This will crush him just as much as it will crush Eunha to say goodbye, but you can’t let it continue on any longer. At this point, there’s nothing else you can do but wait for gravity to fall.

And fall it did.

Everything was fine. He was over the moon with the relationship he formed with you. Eunha seemed so happy after her break, especially after taking Namjoon with her. He’d hoped they bonded just like the two of you had. It seemed like all the strings were finally converging nicely, but he never thought something like this could happen.

He storms into your office without so much as a warning, “Did you know this would happen?!”

“Well, hello to you too.” You’re taken aback by his entrance, “Don’t worry, I wasn’t busy.”

“Did you know?” He asks again.

He’s angry, and there’s only two possible reasons why he’s behaving like this. But there’s only one way to be sure, “Did I know what?”

“Stop pretending like you don’t know!” He demands, “Eunha told Namjoon she wants to break the necklace.”

“So she chose that future…” You confirm. You look down at your hands, the faint glow of the strings illuminating them. There’s nothing you can do now, especially now that she’s already begun the process, “That’s her decision Taehyung, I don’t control her free will.”

“Can’t you change something?!” He asks.

“You should already know it’s not that simple.”

“How?! Every time you talk to me, you never talk to me!” He complains.

You’re confused, “What do you mean? I always talk to you.”

“No. You talk at me. There’s a difference.” He explains bitterly, “You don’t think I can handle the truth.”

You shrug, “Well, you can’t.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Can you really?”

“Yes!”

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you can because you never seem to get it through your head!” You yell.

Taehyung scoffs, “And whose fault is that?”

“You think it’s mine?!”

“Well, it’s not for lack of communication on my part!”

“Bullshit!” You curse, “I’ve told you multiple, multiple, multiple times exactly what needed to be done and how things would play out and now it’s up to them and you never listen! You think I’m lying and that I’m working against you, but you don’t even understand how my job works!”

“Like looking at your hands is a big deal.”

“It’s a whole lot more than that and you know it!” Every time you think you’re past this argument, he always brings it back around, “I know you want them to be happy, and you want to keep your promise. I get that, but they can’t go on like this anymore. It’s only a matter of time before they break.”

Taehyung feels defeated. You had told him that you might be able to do something, but from where he’s standing you’re not making any effort at all. You’re just letting them both fall victim to their strings, and ignoring his pleas. It’s like you never really cared in the first place.

Of course, you want to do more, but there’s only so much one can do. Controlling Fate isn’t an option, “I really am sorry, Taehyung, but this is out of our hands.”

A scream rings out through the hallways and it catches the both of you off guard. To you, this is the beginning of the end. For Taehyung, this is his last and final chance.

You meet his eyes and you already know what he’s thinking, “There’s nothing you can do for them, Taehyung.”

“Watch me.”

He bolts, knocking a chair over in the process of running out the door. It catches you off guard, but you have far more tricks up your sleeve.

You travel to the main hall, just outside of the cafe, 10 feet in front of Taehyung who insists on running, “Taehyung, please stop and just listen to me for once.”

“I’m not just going to let this opportunity slip away!” He runs around you and you work fast to get in front of him again.

“Kim Taehyung! Don’t make me hold you down, because I will!” You threaten. You hold your hands out in front of you to block him, “You’re not thinking rationally! Stop behaving like a human!”

“Stop acting like a god!” He yells back, “You may be all-knowing, but you really don’t know as much as you think you do! They still have a small chance, and I’m not going to give up and let them slip through my fingers like you do!”

“Then you leave me no choice.”

You place your hands in front of you and pull them apart to reveal the strings that bind them together. You gently pull your pointer finger back, causing the string to tighten. Taehyung trips over it as another scream rings out through the museum.

He tries to get up, but you pull back again, “What are you doing?!” He yells.

“I’m trying to make this as painless as possible for everyone!” You explain, holding him tight in the chaos of your strings.

Another scream rings out and Taehyung struggles to break himself free, “Eunha needs me! Let me go!”

“You’ll just get hurt if I let you go, Taehyung!” You try to explain. You know how this ends, and you know how devastated he’ll be. You can’t do that to him. He’s been through enough, and this needs to end here and now before anyone else gets hurt. “I’m trying to help you!”

“Then stop trying!” He demands, “That’s how you can help me.”

You know he’s hurting, but you can’t pretend you aren’t hurt by his words, “Fine.” You let him go, but you’re not done yet, “But you’ll be too late.”

You make a fist with both hands and tug hard, a cacophony of sounds echoing down the hall. An entire hoard of museum exhibits have been brought to life and freed, and you let them. Taehyung is appalled, “You promised!”

“I promised I would help and do what I can.” You remind him, “This is the best possible outcome.”

You have good intentions, but Taehyung just can’t see it, “Letting them go through with it?! Breaking the spell! Making them say goodbye?!”

“Goodbye’s aren’t forever.” You know firsthand that this isn’t their end. Their paths most likely will never cross again, but that doesn’t mean they never will. Breaking the spell is the best chance they have at saving any connection they have, “Taehyung, you just have to trust me-”

“I’m done trusting you!” He yells, “Jimin was right, I never should have made that stupid deal! It was all for nothing.”

He feels stupid and used, but most importantly, he feels betrayed. You promised him, but it was to play against him. He thought you changed, but you’re the same person you’ve always been. Uncaring, cold, and a god.

You’re Fate.

You try not to take his words to heart, but you can’t help it, “Was it really all for nothing?” Taehyung doesn’t say anything, and you feel the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach. You’re both silent.

And so is the museum.

Taehyung’s heart drops when he realizes that the once noisy hall is now bathed in silence, “No-”

He looks to you for confirmation, and you can’t deny him the truth, “I’m sorry.”

“Eunha!” Taehyung takes off down the hall and disappears into thin air, no doubt to the King’s exhibit. He leaves you standing alone, wondering why doing the right thing has to hurt.

Taehyung never came back down from the 3rd floor exhibit. After Namjoon was officially gone and Eunha was left with the remains of their bond, Taehyung took off to mourn yet another loss. You never saw him leave, and Eunha didn’t say anything on the way out. You can only hope that she doesn’t let this affect her.

You really hope Taehyung will be forgiving.

“He hasn’t come back to the apartment since our fight.” Jimin confirms.

You stare out the window of your office, arms crossed as you scan the street for any sign of the Moon. It’s been 11 days since anyone has seen Taehyung, and you’re really starting to worry about him.

“Did you check his planet?” You ask.

“He’s not there.” You turn to look at him, ready to ask if he checked the whole planet, but Jimin is 2 steps ahead of you, “I checked both sides.”

“Dammit!” You curse. You raise your hand to hold onto the shining necklace he’d bought you on your outing. You haven’t taken it off since he put it on you, and you’ve found yourself holding onto it to ground you when your strings start to pull you. “Please keep me updated.”

“Yeah…” Jimin looks you over. You’re nervous. Which is strange because the only emotion you ever usually show is anger. He’s seen plenty of humans act this way, and you seem to be genuinely worried about Taehyung. “You really care about him, don’t you?”

“Is that a problem?” You ask, glaring at him.

He shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets, “I didn’t peg you for someone with emotions.”

You sigh, “You’ve never had any reason to.” You sit down in your chair and lean back, “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“I don’t think it was all that bad. I got to expand my knowledge of humans, experience their cultures, and their unique qualities.” He explains, “Even the pleasurable ones.”

You close your eyes and choose to ignore that last part, “Well, at least you had something good come from it.”

“Hey-” He gets your attention, “I deserved it. You don’t have to regret it. Just promise me you’ll make this up to Taehyung.”

“I will.” You promise.

Jimin nods in approval and turns to leave. On his way out, he bumps into Yoongi, “Well, hello Yoongi~”

“Hi Jimin.” Life greets, unamused by his presence.

You wait for Jimin to leave before you sit up and get to business, “Have you found him?”

“Which one?”

“Taehyung.”

“No.” Your shoulders fall and Yoongi sighs. He sits down across from you, “Give him some time to process this.”

You shake your head, “This is exactly what I was afraid of.”

“You did the right thing.” He assures you.

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Just hold out a little longer.”

“Fine.” You agree. Yoongi has never steered you wrong, so you don’t see why he would now. Holding out a bit more hope won’t hurt you.

“Hoseok and I are almost ready, by the way.” He adds.

“And you’re sure it’ll work?” You ask. Yoongi shrugs, not a very good sign for what you have planned. “Yoongi!”

“There’s a first time for everything!” He argues, “We put our faith in you, now you do the same.”

You really don’t want to chance this blowing up in your face - you know Seowoo would never let you hear the end of it - but this may be the only way to fix everything. You can only hope Yoongi and Hoseok can actually pull it off, “Please don’t make me regret this.”

Yoongi seems to be able to read you mind, “I don’t want to deal with Seowoo just as much as you don’t want to.”

A knock comes from the door, “Excuse me?” Both you and Yoongi turn to see Seokjin standing in your doorway. He seems very apologetic as he looks between the both of you, “Sorry to interrupt, but I was told to come and see you.”

“No problem at all! We’re just finishing up.” You assure the human.

Yoongi stands and brushes off his pants, “I’ll let you know what happens later.” He says goodbye to Seokjin and the greeter bows as he leaves.

“Have a seat, Seokjin.” You offer, pointing to the chair in front of you. He accepts your offer and you pull open your desk drawer to grab the file you made specifically for him, “I just wanted to start off by saying thank you so much for continuing to be such a hard worker. Every time I see you, you’re engaging our patrons with a smile on your face, and I have received numerous compliments from others about what a wonderful greeter I have at my front door.”

He smiles, “Thank you, ma’am. I really try my best to make our guests happy and feel welcome.”

He’s so humble, and that’s one of the things you like the most about him, “I know, and that’s why I wanted to offer a promotion to you.”

“A promotion?”

“You’ve worked well with us for a few years now, I think a promotion is appropriate. You’re very familiar with Ms. Kang, yes?” You ask, knowing very well that he knows his supervisor.

“Of course! She’s a wonderful supervisor.”

“Well, she wants to retire, and I want you to fill her role.” You explain, “You’re still more than welcome to maintain your position as a greeter with your promotion, but entrance maintenance and customer satisfaction will be left to you.”

“Oh wow...I don’t know what to say.” He admits, taking in the new information.

You nod in understanding, “I don’t need an answer now. Her retirement is a few months away, but I want to put it on the table.”

“Yes! Of course! Thank you!” He struggles to find the right words to express his gratitude, “I would love to take over when she steps down!”

“I’m glad to hear that.” You hand him the file you made, all of the information he’ll be needing tucked away inside, “You’ll be working closely with our curators and our security, so I would start to build those relationships if you haven’t already. But I’m sure you already have.”

He nods, “Yes, ma’am. I’m good friends with a lot of the museum staff.”

“If you need someone to help you, check with Kim Taehyung. He’s very much a people person.” You suggest.

“I will!” He agrees, “I know he’s not here today, but I’ll ask him when he’s done at the river.”

“The river?” You ask.

“He called in again today. He said he hasn’t been feeling himself.” Seokjin explains, “I sent him a text just to check in and he said he just needed some time to think in his favorite spot. His favorite spot is by the river.”

“Yes. I see.” You hum. As much as you’d like to continue your conversation with him, you want - more than anything - to go find Taehyung and talk to him. You fake checking your watch and smile, “I look forward to seeing how you grow, Seokjin, but I’m afraid I need to be on my way to a meeting with a few sponsors.”

“Of course!” He stands and so do you, extending a hand to congratulate him. “Thank you again for this opportunity.”

You nod, “Anything I can do.”

He leaves and you quickly pack your things, walking out of the building to keep up appearances. You make it around the corner to a section of sidewalk completely unlit by streetlights before you travel to the river in search of the moon god. The last time he was here, he’d caused havoc and quite literally trashed whatever was in his path. Your hope is that you’ll find him exactly where you had last time.

You don’t see him in the grass when you first pass by, but taking a second look, you do find him with the water up to his chest and his legs floating in front of him. His eyes are closed and he looks to have blocked out everything around him. He just lays in the quiet, in the water, under the stars.

“Taehyung…” You approach him slowly, coming to the edge of the water, and hesitantly taking a seat. You bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around them, “If you’re not careful, then you’ll drift away.”

He sighs, “I’d rather drift away than feel nothing anymore.”

You don’t know what to say to that. He’s in mourning, and you understand that this all must be hard for him. Especially dealing with a loss for a second time. You want to comfort him, but comfort isn’t something you really know how to do.

Of course, Taehyung knows you don’t know what comfort is. That’s all he’s been able to think about since that night at the museum. You tried so hard to keep him away from what was happening to protect him, and he refused to listen. You weren’t lying when you said you were doing what was best for him.

You weren’t lying about a lot of things.

“Why am I cursed to be the moon? Why must I be so lonely and powerless compared to others?” He asks aloud. You don’t have an answer, and he doesn’t expect one, “Dwarf planets aren’t required to stay with their planets, they don’t require attention. So, why do I have to stay with mine when I have nothing to offer?”

“I don’t know...”

“I’m just the Moon. There’s nothing special about me. I’m just a hopeless romantic ruining the lives of others for my own personal enjoyment.” He’s defeated. He tried so hard. He did everything he possibly could and it still wasn’t enough. “I’m the exact thing I told you I wasn’t.”

Of course, you’ve known how this would inevitably end from the beginning. Whether you were on his side from the start or not, you knew that trying to bring Eunha and Namjoon would end in goodbye for everyone. Of course, there were multiple bad and good outcomes, but this was luckily one of the better ones.

Is he a hopeless romantic? The biggest one you’ve ever seen.

But was he wrong? You’re not entirely sure. However, if there’s one thing you know for sure, it’s that Taehyung deserves to know the truth.

He deserves to know everything.

“That first time you tried to bring them together-” He turns his head to look at you, “Namjoon still would have died from sickness. It wouldn’t have gone away.” You’d hoped that maybe for once, you wouldn’t be right. If you were lucky, then his necklace would work and he’d feel proud and he’d go home. But you couldn’t let it work just for Namjoon to die. “That’s why I sent the guards in.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“I thought that if I told you then, that you would’ve tried again.” You say. Thinking about it makes you laugh considering where you are now, “I guess you would’ve tried anyways.”

He sits up in the water and scoots back, “Yeah...I probably would have.”

“Do you remember when Namjoon died and I came to present you to the counsel?” You ask. He nods, “You told me that maybe if I had an ounce of compassion that people would like me better?”

“Yeah...” He had said that to you. It was out of anger and sorrow, and he never did get the chance to apologize for it.

“I think I’d like myself better too.” You admit, “When I was younger and more naive, I always thought I could pull my strings how I pleased. I thought I could do whatever I wanted, and that ended with ruined lives and the deaths of thousands.”

“You? Ruining lives and causing death?” He asks, almost in disbelief.

You nod, “Hui had to stop me before it got too bad, and he introduced me to Hoseok and Yoongi. He had us learn together how to keep balance, and he told me that I couldn’t allow myself to get caught up with one measly human or I’d never treat any of them fairly.” He was right in a way, but he himself has grown more too. “That’s why I’ve been so terrible.”

Taehyung shakes his head, “You’ve been doing your job.”

You scoff, “Some job I have.”

“No one ever said it was easy to do what you do.” He says. You’re shocked to say the least, he’s the last person you would have expected to back you up. But he’s had time to think everything over. “I shouldn’t have said it was. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“We all have to learn. It’d be easier if it stuck quicker for some.” You tease, earning a laugh from the Moon. He didn’t pick up on the severity of the situation quite as quickly, but maybe he would have if you had been more honest with him. “Actually, you’re familiar with Seokjin, right?”

“Of course! He’s a good friend.”

“He’s one of the first and last strings I ever knotted.”

“Wait, really?” You nod, “Is that why he can never keep a date?”

“It was very early on, humanity had just been created and I was figuring everything out. At the time, I was much more compassionate towards humans.” You explain. You were very much like Taehyung when you first started, but you didn’t stay like that for long. “He liked this girl, and I thought if I just pulled a few strings then they would come together and live happy for the rest of their lives, but-”

He gasps, “Their strings knotted.”

“I tried to fix it. I thought I could tie them back together, but I couldn’t.” You still remember watching Seokjin say goodbye to his destined lover. He was devastated and it was all your fault. He hasn’t run into them since, and you don’t know that he ever will. “I ruined their lives because I couldn’t do my job.”

“You did what you thought was right.” Taehyung assures you, placing a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

You smile, “So did you.” You lean against his side and rest your head on his shoulder.

Taehyung rests his head on top of yours and sighs, “What are we going to do about Eunha?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” He asks, surprised, “But she knows.”

“She won’t tell. She’s too busy mourning to worry herself over us.” You seriously doubt she’ll risk telling everyone about the two of you. But still, everything she’s going through right now can’t be easy. “I guess it really isn’t easy to be in love.”

“Love?”

“Love.”

~ Read: Finale ~

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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Stark Spangled Rebirth

Chapter 4: The Star Spangled Man With A Plan

Summary: As the SSR deals with the aftermath of the attempted theft of the serum by Hydra, Steve finds himself side-lined until he’s offered a golden opportunity to help fight the good fight…but it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be as he quickly finds out.

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Word Count: 7.5k

A/N: This series is my contribution of sorts to the CATF 10 Year Anniversary Challenge. As always, some creative liberties taken.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Star Spangled Rebirth Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 3

“Absolutely not!” Katie blazed her hands on her hips “That is NOT what Erskine was going to do.”

“Well Erskine isn’t here is he, in case it had escaped your notice.” Phillips bit back “And neither is the serum after the last vial of it was smashed out on Brooklyn Pier.”

Steve sighed, his head bowing a little.

“Erskine said that post the transformation, Steve was supposed to be monitored for twenty-four hours before he did any major physical activity.” Katie continued, “Given that, and what just happened, you seriously want to take his blood?”

“She has a point.” Howard stepped in. “Personally, I’m not sure it’s wise. Private Rogers should be given the rest of the day at least under observation as was the original plan, where we can run the physical tests Abe had been planning to do.” He took a deep breath and bowed his head slightly.

“We owe it to him to do this right.” Katie spoke again, her voice loaded with emotion as she turned her eyes to the Colonel. Phillips gave a little groan, dragging his hand down his face “We can take the samples tomorrow.”

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Steve spoke, surprising himself with his sudden forthright nature and Katie glanced at him.

“No.” She said simply, turning back to Phillips. Steve’s eyebrows shot up and he turned to look at Howard who was silently chuckling at his sister’s bossy nature. He gave a little shrug of his shoulders, and then his brown eyes turned back to watch as Katie stood looking at Phillips expectantly.

“You know, I’m beginning to rue the day I ever asked you two to join this team.” The Colonel shot, and Steve watched as Katie turned to Howard, smirking. “And wipe that look off of your face right now, Agent.”

“Sir.” She nodded, and then everyone’s attention was taken by Agent Carter as she walked back into the room.

“We have it.” She nodded, “The HYDRA Sub. It’s in the Tech Lab.”

“You wanna wait until tomorrow to work on that too? Perhaps, give that time to recover as well?” Phillips looked at Howard who snorted.

“You know they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” He arched an eyebrow as he looked at Phillips, “But I prefer to think of it as a metric for potential. You’ll be a great man someday, Colonel Phillips.”

Katie’s shoulders began to shake and she turned back towards Steve who was watching the scene play out in front of him, utterly perplexed. He still couldn’t get his head round Katie’s blatant disregard for her Commanding Officer’s authority. Howard, well, he could understand that a little more as he wasn’t in the man’s chain of command but Katie was. And she seriously didn’t seem to give a shit.

“Do we have any more intel on Schmidt?” Phillips turned to Peggy who blinked and looked at him.

“No, Sir. Nothing,” she took a deep breath, “but I think after today it’s safe to say that was another thing Dr. Erskine was correct about. Schmidt clearly has ambitions beyond simply being Hitler’s Chief Scientist. I think we should consider the fact that he’s equally, if not more dangerous.”

At that Steve heard Erskine’s words from the previous night as clear and as loud as if the man were speaking them to him in person. Schmidt must become that superior man.

He cleared his throat a little and felt all eyes in the room turn to him. “I think Agent Carter is right, Sir.” Steve took a deep breath “Last night, Dr Erskine was explaining to me about Schmidt. He said that Schmidt is convinced that there is a great power hidden in the Earth, waiting to be found...”

“So he’s bonkers.” Phillips looked at Steve. “Terrific.”

“You know, we have forces out there fighting the Nazis.” Katie pondered for a moment, “Maybe the SSR needs to concentrate on HYDRA.”

Phillips looked at Katie, “You wanna chase HYDRA?”

She shrugged, “it seems logical to me. A lunatic Schmidt might be, but he clearly has a vast amount of followers that buy into the same rhetoric. That makes them dangerous.”

“And let’s not forget, HYDRA is, or was, Hitler’s deep science department. Now, Steve stopped them from getting the vial of Erskine’s completed formula, but who knows what else they have in their grasp.” Peggy added, “I saw a lot of things when I was under, a lot of things that if perfected could be disastrous. We chose to concentrate on Hitler as he had control of HYDRA. But, if Schmidt is going rogue as we suspect, then I’m afraid Sir,that as Agent Stark suggests, he could prove to be far more dangerous.”

“Just what we need,” Howard groaned, “two enemies to be fighting.”

“Oh pur-lease.” Katie looked at him. “Like you’re doing any actual fighting.”

“Shut up.” Howard glared at her, “You know as well as I do that I was plucked out for this instead of going to the front lines, just like you were.”

“The pair of you can take your squabbles outside.” Phillips looked at them, “I’m done. I need to brief Senator Brandt.” With that he turned to Peggy. “Get onto base and tell them they need to get into the President, inform him of our intentions so that he can approve them. You,” he then looked at Howard, “take a look at that sub, see what we’re dealing with from a technology point of view. As for you,” he looked at Katie, then to Steve, then back again. “take Rogers for whatever observations it was Erskine wanted to do. Then I suggest you all get a good night’s sleep. Back here at Zero-Six Hundred.”

With that he swept from the room leaving the four of them behind. Steve turned to Katie, his arms folded.

“You know, I don’t need a load of tests to tell you I’m fine. In fact, I’m more than fine. I feel, well, I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my life.”

“That maybe, but I’d feel better if you went along with it, please.”

“Oh, she’s serious, Rogers,” Howard smirked, “she said the magic word.”

At that Katie turned to glare at her brother, who held her gaze, his expression not faltering in the slightest. She threw him a positively filthy look before she turned back to Steve and he looked at her as she once more began to speak. “Erskine wanted to make sure that everything was okay, monitor the effects properly at least for twenty-four hours. We have no idea if it’s permanent, what it’s actually doing to you, whether the effects and transformation is still ongoing.”

“Okay, okay.” Steve held his hand up, giving her a nod, “Fine, I’ll submit for monitoring. On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Could someone please find me something to eat?” He looked around, his stomach giving a huge growl at the perfect moment to emphasise his point, “I’ve never been this hungry in my life, and believe me, I’m no stranger to living with an empty stomach.”

**** It turns out that Steve’s appetite had increased exponentially too, which was to be expected considering his metabolism was working far faster than it ever had before. He wolfed down a huge helping of Potato and Hot Dog salad, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, an assortment of vegetables and a huge helping of apple pie. He had no idea where Katie had managed to conjure it from, and frankly he didn’t care either. All he knew was that in that one sitting he’d consumed more food than he usually ate in a day.

The rest of the day was taken up with him being poked and prodded and attached to all sorts of strange machines. Howard explained what each of them was for, but he wasn’t paying much attention. His mind was whirring, finally processing what had happened in the last couple of hours. He had been so sure about what was going to happen post getting the serum, that he’d be shipped out to help in the fight and now he didn’t have a clue where he was going to go, especially if they were now going to refocus their efforts on HYDRA. That said, it was all helping the war effort wasn’t it? HYDRA was a huge threat, if he was able to help take them down in any way, shape or form, then he was ok with that.

One of the doctors and Howard started explaining to him what the serum had done and at that point he tuned in to some of it, picking out the odd phrase like ‘super strength’, ‘increased stamina’, ‘enhanced metabolism’, ‘fast healing’, ‘super-sharp senses’, ‘memory expansion’, ‘logical improvement’. Howard looked at him and explained that as far as he could see, the transformation was complete, and was as permanent as they could hope. But Erskine had said that the serum wasn’t infallible, therefore how long the effects would last into the future they didn’t know. Forty, maybe fifty years or so. Steve wasn’t particularly bothered about that though, by the time that happened he would be well into his sixties or seventies and would he really care then?

Katie arrived back just as the Doctor who had been dealing with him had instructed the nurse to remove the heart monitor form his chest.

“Hi.” She smiled and Steve turned to face her, fulling intending on greeting her back, but before he could, the Doctor made a little noise of surprise.

“What is it?” Howard asked and Steve hastily turned towards them, wondering what was wrong.

“His heart rate just spiked.”

Steve gulped and hastily looked away from Katie as Howard turned to face him. His eyes flicked from Steve, to his sister who was stood in the doorway, a bashful smile on her face but to her credit she held her brother’s gaze as the man gave a groan.

“Seriously?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She mumbled, stepping into the room. “You done treating him like a guinea pig?”

“Hey, you were the one that insisted on the monitoring!” Howard pointed at her.

“Yes, because it was what Abe wanted,” she shrugged, “and I wanted to make sure everything was okay before you guys started stealing his blood like a pack of starving vampires.”

“Well you needn’t panic.” Howard arched an eyebrow. “The transformation seems to be text book. Your Super Soldier is as ready as can be.”

“Fuck you.” Katie shot back, and Howard gave a chuckle as Steve let out a little groan at the man’s teasing.

“That bad an idea huh, dating my sister?” Howard turned to Steve and he flushed immediately.

“That…no, I didn’t say that, I mean, not that we…”

“Ignore him Steve, he’s being a jerk.” Katie rolled her eyes. “And if he knows what’s good for him he’ll shut up before I knock his teeth out.”

“Threat received and understood, Kiddo.” Howard held his hands up as the Doctor bustled around and handed Steve back his t-shirt.

“You can leave now, Captain Rogers, but we would like you to stay here tonight.”

“Why?” Steve frowned as he pulled the SSR logo t-shirt over his head.

“Because I want to monitor your levels at complete rest.” The Doctor smiled. “Humour me, please.”

Steve shrugged as he swung his legs off the bed. “Sure.” It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to be.

“Your stuff is being brought over from the barracks.” Katie smiled softly.

“Any idea on where I’ll be going after that?” Steve stood up carefully, taking his time to pull himself up to his new full height.

Katie shrugged. “I suppose it depends on what Colonel Phillips and the President agree. I suspect we’ll head over to London HQ if we’re going after HYDRA in Europe, but we should find out tomorrow morning.”

“So, we have a free evening?” Howard looked at Katie.

“Well, sort of. Unless you want to get a head start on that submarine thing.” She waved her hand at the door.

“I don’t need a head start.” Howard shrugged, somewhat arrogantly, “I’m a genius, I’ll crack it tomorrow.”

Katie rolled her eyes, “You know I really admire your modesty.”

Howard chuckled, “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what I was suggesting was that if we do have a free few hours, how about a drink? I got a bottle of vintage Macallan stashed in my lab.” He paused and Steve watched as his shoulders slumped a little and he took a deep breath before he looked back up at both Steve then to his sister. “Me and Abe had been saving it for tonight."

Katie took a deep breath before she walked over to her brother who wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug, gently kissing the top of her head. Steve looked away for a second, not wanting to intrude on the moment as he watched the doctor and nurse leave the room.

“We should have a toast to him,” Katie spoke, her voice cracking a little as she stepped away from Howard. She turned to Steve and smiled, “he’d have been proud this had worked.”

Steve nodded a little side smile pulling at his mouth as he remembered the banter he and Erskine had shared about the schnapps. With a nod he looked at Katie, the smile spreading further across his face. “He owed me a drink.”

*****

It was a strange night.

The three of them had shared a glass each of the smooth whiskey, which Steve had thoroughly enjoyed. It had tasted so smooth yet crisp. And he wasn’t sure if that was down to the fact it was stupidly expensive and high end, or the fact his taste-buds simply worked better. Howard hadn’t raised the issue of him and Katie again, for which Steve was glad. If he had been asked, he couldn’t say how he would have answered because he wasn’t entirely sure what they were. A casual fling? A hook up? He knew what he wanted it to be, but once again he was brought crashing back to reality. They were in the middle of a war. It was impossible.

Despite the myriad of thoughts and emotions running through his mind, Steve slept better than he had ever slept in his life. His chest wasn’t bad, he didn’t struggle for breath when he lay down flat meaning that for the first time he could remember he didn’t need to sleep propped up. Yet, on the other hand, he felt like he was waking up every five or ten minutes. The slightest sound or movement made by the various SSR staff nurses and guards milling around the small medical wing of the lab woke him thanks to his now enhanced, fine tuned senses. The Doctors and Howard had assured Steve that whilst it might take a while but once he was used to the heightening of his senses it would start to feel ‘normal’ to him in a way and he would learn to use them and appreciate them.

With a yawn, he cracked his head side to side as he raised it off the pillow. Whilst he didn’t know what time it was thanks to the lack of any natural light in the room, he knew that this time he wasn’t getting back to sleep. He climbed from his bed, stretched and waited for the usual pain to shoot down his back, but nothing. He then stood up, a little too fast and pitched forward before he steadied himself and drew up to his full new height, squaring his now broad shoulders back as he stood tall in his new posture. Again, Howard had told him he would soon learn to adjust his movements to compensate for the fact that he no longer needed to put as much effort into them. No sooner had he done that, a nurse appeared with his breakfast and she was followed by Agent Carter who wished him a good morning and then handed him a formal Army Uniform in his new size. With a soft smile and a thanks, he took it before laying it down on the bed, admiring the green wool and crisp shirt.

“When you’re ready then we’d like to take the blood samples.” Peggy spoke softly, “but there’s no rush. Take your time.”

“Rather just get it over and done with Ma’am.” Steve said politely and truthfully. The sooner he was done being prodded, poked and stabbed the sooner he could find out what was going on.

With that in mind he ate, washed up, dressed and was ready in half an hour flat. He was led out of the bunk room he’d been sleeping in and down the corridor back to the observation room he’d been in the previous day where he was instructed to roll up his sleeves and lay back as they proceeded to siphon off his blood. When they had one bag full they then hooked him up to another, and then another, the Doctor instructing him to tell them if he felt light headed but Steve had a suspicion that the enhancements to his body would simply enable him to generate more as fast as they took it. That said, by the time the third bag was full he was bored. Peggy seemed to sense it and she turned to the doctor who nodded and instructed everyone that they were done.

“Think you got enough?” Steve asked, somewhat sarcastically.

“Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic code.” Peggy replied simply, “but without Dr. Erskine, it could take years.”

“He deserved more than this.” Steve replied a little sadly and he meant it. The serum had been Erskine’s life work and now there was nothing to show for it as the last vial of the serum had been smashed on Brooklyn Pier.

“Well, if it could only work once, he’d be proud it was you,” Peggy looked at him.

Steve glanced at her, feeling a little embarrassed at her praise but he didn’t dwell on it and neither did she. Instead, she told him that once he was ready she’d take him down to the main lab were Phillips and Katie were talking to Senator Brandt about the plans for the SSR going forward. Keen to understand, he quickly sorted his shirt out.

He followed Peggy into the lab, his ears picking up the conversation as they entered.

“Speaking modestly, I’m the best mechanical engineer in this country,” Howard shrugged. “But I don’t know what’s inside this thing or how it works.”

“So much for not needing a head start, huh?” Katie teased and Howard glared at her before he turned back to Phillips.

“We’re not even close to this technology.”

“Then who is?” Senator Brandt demanded.

“HYDRA,” Phillips responded simply. “I’m sure you’ve been reading our briefings.”

“I’m on a number of committees, Colonel,” Brandt replied simply, completely unabashed at Phillips tone.

“HYDRA is the Nazi deep science division.” Katie explained

“It’s led by Johann Schmidt,” Peggy picked up, “but he has much bigger ambitions.”

“HYDRA’s practically a cult,” Phillips stated, “they worship Schmidt, they think he’s invincible.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Brandt asked and at that point Steve took a deep breath, finally he was about to find out what he was going to be doing.

“Spoke to the President this morning. As of today the SSR is being re-tasked.”

Katie and Peggy exchanged excited glances and Peggy looked back at Phillips, seeking clarification as she asked, “Colonel?”

“We are taking the fight to HYDRA,” Phillips looked at the woman. “Pack your bags Agent Carter. You too, Agent Stark,” he turned to Katie, “you’re flying to London tonight.”

Steve hesitated for a second, but when Phillips didn’t turn to speak to him and inform him where he was going, he hurried forward a little.

“Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in.”

“You’re an experiment,” Phillips shot back. “You’re going to Alamogordo.”

Steve frowned a little, but then pressed some more, he wasn’t letting this go.

“The serum worked,” his voice rose a little.

“I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough.”

Katie wheeled round to look at Phillips, her face angry, “Oh, come on Sir, that’s-”

“I have put up with your insubordination for long enough. I don’t give a shit what you think, Agent Stark.” Philips snarled, “keep pushing me and so help me God, I will have you taken straight outta this unit and you’ll be back home typing up the Letters of Condolence.”

“But-”

“Enough!” Phillips snapped. “Now I suggest you disappear and pack.”

Katie took a deep breath, an angry noise escaping her throat as she turned and stormed away. Steve watched her go before he opened his mouth to argue some more with Phillips, but the man had already moved away.

They wanted to send him to a fucking research plant? Seriously? This was ridiculous.

“With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point,” Senator Brandt spoke to Steve and he turned to face the man. “I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it.” Brandt turned to his aide. “Paper.” His aide obeyed, showing them the paper in his hand. It was today’s copy of the ‘The New York Examiner’ which bore the headline "Nazis in New York - Mystery Man Saves Child" along with a picture of Steve holding the car door in front of him.

“The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands," Brandt smiled at Steve. “You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab.” Steve felt a surge of hope flood his system as the Senator continued. “Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war?”

“Sir, that’s all I want,” Steve replied honestly.

“Then, congratulations,” The Senator held his hand out for Steve to shake. “You just got promoted.”

**** Steve’s hopes were short lived when Brandt explained what he had in mind - using Steve to boost recruitment and bond sales. But he knew he was getting nowhere with Phillips, so he decided to take the role and could only hope that it would lead to something else. Besides, it was important to gather support. The Forces needed all the financial and recruitment help they could get, and he could play a key part in that.

So Brandt said.

“Hey…”

Steve looked up from where he was packing the few items he’d unpacked from his trunk and looked at Katie.

“Oh, hi.” He said, turning back to his packing.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” she continued and Steve took a deep breath, straightening up.

“Who told you?”

“Good news travel fast, Captain.” She stressed the last word and Steve had to actively stop himself from rolling his eyes. “That’s a pretty good promotion considering you’ve been a soldier all of a week.”

“Yeah, well, it was too good an opportunity to turn down. In fact, it was the only opportunity to turn down.” He watched her as she took a deep breath, opened her mouth, before closing it again. And then Steve really did roll his eyes, “if you’ve got something to say, spit it out, Katie.”

“Hey, don’t get pissy with me,” she snapped back.

“I’m not being-”

“Yes, you are,” she folded her arms. “It’s not my fault Phillips won’t let you in on this. I’ve tried, believe me, but for whatever reason he’s not moving.”

“He’s not moving because he doesn’t like me.” Steve replied simply.

“Well, that’s his loss," Katie countered. “And what’s with the sudden display of self-pity?”

“What?”

“This, moping around, acting all deflated.”

“It’s easy for you to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well you’re off, over there. Fighting the fight but me, well, looks like I’m gonna have to play ball with Senators doesn’t it?”

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“Yes, I do!” Steve’s voice rose and Katie blinked a little, but besides that she showed no signs of having registered his angry tone. “What choice do I have?”

“There’s always a choice, Steve.”

“Oh, yeah?” He snorted. “And my choice here is what? Go to the damned White Sands Proving Ground where they can run more tests on me? Keep me locked up like some kind of lab rat?”

“I didn’t say they were always good choices.”

“Well what do you think I should do huh?”

“That’s not for me to say.” Katie shook her head. “But I can tell you one thing....”

“What?”

“That I have faith in you to do what you feel is right, and continue to be the good man I know you are.” Her words were soft but they hit Steve like a freight train and he swallowed, suddenly aware of how down right shitty he’d been. “And if you’re telling me that it feels right that you go where Brandt wants you to go then…” she shrugged.

“I have to try.” Steve replied.

“Well, in that case, I’ll say what I came to say in the first place," she gave him a soft smile, “good luck.”

Steve took a deep breath and sighed, “Thanks. Look, I’m sorry I snapped. I just, well, truth be told I’m a little jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah, all I ever wanted was to be a soldier and to fight on the front lines. Like my dad did, and Bucky.” He sat down on the side of the bed, “And I agreed to this procedure because I thought it was my ticket there, ya know?”

“I get it,” Katie nodded, crossing the room to sit beside him. “And I understand how frustrated you feel, believe me.” He turned to look at her to see her glancing down at her hands before she looked up at a spot on the wall opposite them. “I just can’t say anything to make it better, other than repeat what I said before. I have absolute faith and belief that you’ll do what you think is right. And that’s all any of us can do.”

Steve looked straight in her eyes as they flickered across both of his and he took a deep breath, her words echoing round his mind. Throughout this, she and Erskine had been the two people who had utterly believed he was the best man for the job so to speak. Now Erskine was gone, and he was about to be separated from her as well. And it pained him to think about it, as he realised that he was going to miss her, for more than the simple reason that she’d been a friend to him.

“You know I’m sorry we met the way we did,” his thoughts blurted out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Katie frowned, “what?”

“No, I err…” Steve sighed and then gave a snort. “Guess the serum didn’t enhance my ability to talk to a dame without completely making a total screw up of it.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Katie smiled, “you do a decent job most of the time.” She paused as Steve gave a little huff of laughter before she turned her body a little more towards him, “what’s on your mind, Soldier?”

“I meant, I’m sorry that we met when we did. And, you know, not sooner.” He shrugged, looking down at his hands, “or maybe even later, when all this is over.”

“If it ever is,” Katie sighed and Steve raised his eyes to hers as she licked her lips a little. “Steve, I’m not sad I met you when I did. Quite the opposite actually. It’s been…” she paused for a moment before she smiled “…a little ray of hope in an otherwise very gloomy world.”

“Hope?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “you know, a reminder that no matter how ugly the world seems or how much it changes, it’s still a beautiful place.”

Steve thought on her words for a second, a soft smile spreading across his face.

“What?” She asked as she noted his expression.

“You just remind me of my mom,” he smiled. “She was always a 'look on the bright side' kind of woman. No matter what life threw at us, she was always reminding me there were people far worse off.”

“She sounds like a smart lady.”

“She was,” Steve smiled with a short nod. “kind, compassionate. Just more ways you remind me of her.”

He didn’t miss the faint flush on Katie’s cheeks as she looked down at her hands and then raised her eyes to look at him, “I’m honoured.”

Steve took a deep breath, “I meant what I said the other night before we, you know.” He swallowed thickly, the lump in his throat felt like a tennis ball. “I like you, more than like you in fact.”

“Kinda sucks we’re about to be separated doesn’t it?” Katie looked at him, her eyes sad and he nodded.

“Yeah.”

“But, I’m a firm believer that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” Katie shrugged and at that Steve gave a scoff. She turned to him, a playful look on her face. “What, you don’t believe in fate?”

“Nope,” he shook his head, “you make your own luck.”

“Right.” A little side smile broke on her mouth, “you did a good job with that when you happened to be at the Expo the same time Erskine was.”

“Lucky coincidence.”

“And what was me getting accosted by a load of rapscallions in Brooklyn?”

“A not-so-lucky for you coincidence.” Steve shrugged.

“You know what the definition of the word coincidence is?”

“Not word for word, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.”

“Sass bag.” Katie nudged him with her elbow and he chuckled, “but you’re right, I am. It’s a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent casual connection.”

“And?”

“Fate is the development of events outside a person’s control.” Katie looked at him, her eyebrow arched, “just as a coincidence is beyond a person’s control. And if fate is what’s gonna happen to you no matter what you do, and coincidence is merely a matter of being in the right place at the right time, then what if you’re in the right place at the right time because it’s simply meant to be.”

Steve looked at her, utterly sideswiped at her sentiment. Whilst he wasn’t sure he agreed, the logic was surely there and the fact she’d laid it so bare, been so open with him knocked him for six. He saw her eyes flicker to his mouth again, and in a sudden surge of confidence he gently moved, taking her face in his hands and pulling her to meet him in a soft, gentle kiss that was loaded with meaning.

“Yup,” she sniffed a little as she pulled away and Steve was both surprised and horrified to see the tears in her eyes as she pressed her forehead to his, their noses bumping a little, “this definitely sucks.”

“Write to me,” he whispered, his thumbs swiping away her tears and she smiled, nodding, before she caught his lips again, this time the kiss was deeper, and Steve had to fight back the groan that was bubbling in his throat as he felt her tongue slide against his. They were interrupted by a loud noise outside and Katie pulled away, dropping her gaze a little before she sighed and stood up.

“Stay safe, Soldier,” she smiled, her hand gently cupping his cheek. “I’d hate for you to come back horrifically disfigured.”

At that Steve snorted, “would it put you off?” He teased, “I didn’t think you were that shallow.”

“I’m not,” she smiled as she made her way to the door. “It’d just be a helluva waste, a face like that.”

With that she was gone and Steve felt his smile fade, the warmth in his chest replaced by a hollow feeling which engulfed his entire body, as the realisation spread across him that he had no idea when he would see her again.

If indeed, at all.

****

November 1943.

“I already volunteered, how do you think I got here?”

“Nice boots, Tinkerbell…”

“Hey, Captain! Sign this”

The heckling from the assembled crowd rang through Steve’s mind as he sat dejectedly on the side of the stage, the miserable, cold rain matching his mood. His hand moved absentmindedly, shading in the drawing he’d sketched in his book. A very apt sketch of a Circus Monkey on a Unicycle clutching the damned shield he’d been given as part of his costume. It turns out the “battlefield” that Senator Brandt had been referring to was nothing more than a grotesque road show across the US and various other places on the Allied Map encouraging people to buy war bonds.

“The Senator's got a lot of pull up on the hill. You play ball with us, you’ll be leading your own platoon in no time.”

Yeah, a "platoon" of chorus girls and confetti cannons, complete with ‘Adolph’ himself. Steve had knocked him out countless times, and was still no closer to getting in on the real action.

He’d travelled all over the place during the last four months, the tour had been successful, and there was no denying that it was helping the effort in a way. “Bonds buy bullets, bullets kill Nazi’s bing bang boom.” But this wasn’t what he had signed up for. Nor did he believe for one second that this was what Dr. Erskine had in mind for how his serum would be put into use.

He’d made a few propaganda films, all part of the course according to Brandt who had then had the bright idea to send Captain America on the USO tour, to attempt to lift spirits. So here he was in Italy, five miles from the front line, having finally made it overseas as a soldier, only to be stood on a stage in front of the men he should have been fighting alongside, being pelted by rotten fruit and vegetables instead of bullets.

It didn’t help that he knew the SSR were fast ramping up their efforts on HYDRA, having been reassigned to somewhere in mainland Europe, not unlike himself at that point in time. He’d had a few letters from Katie, but he had no idea where she was. She didn’t go into details, which was to be expected, she couldn’t and her mail always reached him through the usual military channels. He’d tried to remain positive in his letters back to her, focussing on nights where had a particularly good show, meeting and greeting his ‘fans’ afterwards, carefully omitting details about the women that now seemed to be throwing themselves at him. Be it in bars, back stage or simply as he emerged from the venues; there was no shortage of ladies vying for his attention. And had he been that way inclined, he could have taken any number of them dancing and then back to wherever he was staying that night, but the fact was he didn’t want to.

Because no matter how pretty or forthcoming the girls were, his mind and heart remained with a certain green eyed agent.

It was ironic, when he thought about it. The Star Spangled Man with a Plan, the song dubbed him, yet Steve felt as if he had never had less of a plan in his life.

“Hello, Steve," a familiar voice spoke in his ear and Steve jerked his head up in surprise and turned, doing a little double take as he looked up at Katie.

“Hi,” he instantly felt his heart rate pick up dramatically in her presence, like it normally did as his eyes laid upon her. She was dressed in standard Army green wool pants that were tailored for a man with wide legs and long length that she tucked in to her well-worn mid-calf boots which were brown leather with lace protection straps and looked as if they had happily trudged through mud and been beaten until they broke in and needed new soles. Her unit issued jacket was the same colour green as her pants, but the harsh canvas material gave a weighted appearance across her shoulders as it was buttoned and zipped it up. Beneath it, she wore her wool tie and collared shirt, no doubt tucked into her trousers for a crisp clean look.

Steve noted how it was a stark (pun intended) difference to the previous smart pencil skirt and jacketed uniform he had seen her in at the SSR base which Peggy, who stood to her left, was still sporting. But then again, the two women were very different, and knowing Katie as he did, she wasn't one to conform and who knew what she had been up to whilst on the front line.

All it did was serve to make Steve feel even more self-conscious and ridiculous in his own outfit, designed for dancing and prancing around not active combat.

“What are you doin’ here?” He asked, his eyes flicking to Peggy before they returned to Katie again.

“Officially we’re not here at all,” Peggy smiled. “That was quite a performance.”

Great, they’d seen it. His shoulders slumped at little as he turned away.

“Yeah. Uh… I had to improvise a little bit. Crowds I’m used to are usually more uh, twelve.”

“Probably less full of jerks as well,” Katie snorted and Steve looked at her, his mouth curling into a slight smile as Peggy let out a sigh.

“You know what soldiers are like. Present company excepted of course,” Peggy quickly corrected herself as Steve had cocked any eyebrow at her sweeping assumption, before she turned to the other agent. “I warned you-“

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Katie replied with a roll of her eyes.

Peggy took a deep breath, before she turned back to Steve, swiftly changing the subject. “I understand you’re "America’s New Hope"?

“Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit,” Steve chanted off, the words flowing out of him the same way they did whenever he spoke to someone about the Roadshow and he grimaced as he realised just what a damned puppet he had become.

“Is that Senator Brandt I hear?” Katie teased and Steve took a deep breath.

“At least he’s got me doin’ this,” Steve felt a sudden need to defend his decision to take the role in the first place, especially after their conversation before he had left. “Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab.”

“And these are your only two options?” Peggy looked at him, nodding to his sketch book which was still open in his lap. “A lab rat or a dancing monkey?”

“You were meant for more than this, you know?” Katie added gently, and Steve looked at her, hesitating as his sarcastic reply died in his throat. Instead he looked away, a little dejected. She was right, he had been meant for more that was the whole point of him taking the serum. But even after he’d been turned into this Super Soldier, been given such power and capability, he still wasn’t enough.

“What?” Katie pressed gently, having noticed his hesitation.

“You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights.”

Before either of the women could respond there was the sound of a horn honking which diverted their attention. Steve turned to watch as an ambulance pulled to a halt outside the medical tent. The back doors were flung open and several injured soldiers were pulled out of the back on stretches, nurses and medical staff rushing to help as they disappeared through the drapes of the tents, the walking wounded being helped down and aided as they limped behind.

“They look like they’ve been through hell,” Steve commented, a deep feeling of sadness at the sight of the injured men flooded his chest.

“These men more than most,” Peggy commented and Steve turned to look at her, a little confused as to what she meant.

“Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano,” Katie explained. “Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the one-oh-seventh. The rest were killed or captured.”

Steve felt his chest tighten, as if someone had trapped it in a vice and his head momentarily span as the meaning of her words sank in.

“The one-oh-seventh?” He breathed out, begging it to be wrong. But Katie simply frowned as she gave a nod.

“What?”

Steve swallowed and looked around before he rose to his feet. “That was Bucky’s unit.” He turned to face her, his voice sounded alien as he almost choked on his words. Katie’s face slid into a look of recognition, her mouth falling open.

“Barnes?” She asked and Steve nodded, as he ran a hand down his face, once more glancing round desperately hoping for Bucky to appear and rip into him for his ridiculous outfit. But he knew that if Bucky had been in that audience, he would have already found him. Which meant that he was either amongst the injured soldiers in the tent or…

“Who’s Barnes?” Peggy asked form behind him.

“Steve’s friend from home,” Katie replied gently as Steve turned back to look at the women.

“I need to check if he’s there,” Steve nodded towards the medical tent.

“Not a good idea,” Peggy cut him off. “You saw their reaction to you before. If you go waltzing in you’re going to upset them.”

“I don’t really care,” Steve spluttered

“Well you should,” Peggy looked at him sternly.

“I have to know if he survived!”

“Okay, look…” Katie took a deep breath, and he tore his eyes away from Peggy who was still glaring at him to look instead at the other woman. “Phillips will have the list of the-“ she hesitated, clearly searching for the best word “-casualties. We can ask him.”

“Phillips is here too?” Steve frowned, although he wasn’t sure why that had surprised him. Decision made, he turned and started running across the camp shooting a, “come on,” over his shoulder as the heavy rain pelted down onto them all.

He busted into the tent, “Colonel Phillips,” and the man looked up, a disgruntled expression spread across his face before he took a deep breath and looked back down at the papers on his desk as Steve strode purposefully towards him.

“Well, if it isn’t the Star-Spangled Man with a plan, and what is your plan today?” Phillip’s voice was laced with sarcasm but Steve didn’t care. At the moment he had one thing on his mind, and that was Bucky.

“I need the casualty list from Azzano.”

“You don’t get to give me orders, son.” Phillips snapped, looking up at him once more and Steve ignored his angry tone, his stubbornness showing through as he continued to pres.

“I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th.”

“You two and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy,” Phillips pointed to both Agent Carter and Katie in turn.

“Can’t wait," Katie sassed back and Phillips’ head shot up to look at her as he once more fixed her with a stare that could freeze over hell, but Steve didn’t have time for this.

“Please tell me if he’s alive, Sir. B-A-R…”

“I can spell,” the Colonel stated harshly as he tore his eyes from Katie. He looked at the papers in his hand and with a sigh dropped them to his desk and when he spoke his voice was a little softer. "I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry."

Steve swallowed, a feeling of cold washing over his body as the Colonel's words sank in. It might sound familiar but there was a chance it could be another Barnes. It was a common name, after all, and even if it was Bucky’s name on the letter, he could be missing assumed dead, not actually confirmed dead. Peggy and Katie had told him before that there were still men from the unit trapped behind lines.

"What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?" The words tumbled out of his mouth before he’d really had time to consider them properly.

“Yeah! It’s called winning the war.”

Steve frowned, “but if you know where they are, why not at least…?"

Colonel Phillips stood up, the expression on his face belonged to a man who had just lost his final bit of patience. "They're thirty miles behind the lines, through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save." He moved around the desk to stand in front of Steve, his hands falling to his hips as fixed him with a stern and challenging glare. "But I don't expect you to understand that, because you're a chorus girl."

Steve took a breath, the anger coursing inside him at the dig that Phillips had just made, but before he could say anything, he heard Katie scoff besides him.

“And who’s fault is that?”

Phillips turned to Katie, his face contorted in anger “You are this close…” he held his thumb and forefinger up a fraction of an inch apart.

Katie’s jaw clenched and her chin tipped up defiantly as she glared back at the man. Steve, having had chance to compose himself slightly now the spoke in an attempt to draw the attention back away from her and onto himself.

“I think I understand just fine.”

“Well then understand it somewhere else.” Phillips turned away. “If I read the posters correctly, you got some place to be in thirty minutes”

As he spoke the last words, Steve took note of the map which lay on the table and he noticed a flag marked with an H which caught his attention. And then, he made his decision.

The Star Spangled Man finally had a plan.

“Yes, sir. I do.”

***** Chapter 5

#Stark Spangled Rebirth #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #captain america #CATFA 10th anniversary challenge #mcu #mcu fanfic #fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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lady-griffin · 5 years ago

Note

Who do you think will Katarina end up with?

Geordo

There are several reasons for why I think this.

He is the male lead and is considered in the character introductions at the beginning of each Light Novel, to be One of the TWO leads, while the rest of the cast are divided up as secondary to minor characters.

This is how the characters are introduced in the Light Novels 1-5.

Katarina and Geordo’s character introductions are untouched for the most part from novel to novel. But the way the other characters are introduced with each novel changes bit by bit.

From Alan and Keith being marked as secondary characters in the 1st novel.

To Alan, Keith, and Nicol being marked as secondary characters in the 2nd novel.

To the entire Harem (minus Geordo) being marked as secondary characters in the 3rd novel and onwards.

Now I don’t know the characters introductions beyond the 5th novel, but I highly doubt that they have changed that much or if at all.

Katarina and Geordo are clearly marked as being equal in character importance – the Female Lead and the Male Lead.

Though, in the actual events of the story, Katarina is clearly the MAIN character while Geordo is just one of the many characters who is rotating around her.

Geordo is the first character who we truly meet in the story (excluding Katarina). Signifying his importance to the story as a whole.

Not only that, but he is only the first character introduced as a romantic interest

OG Katarina immediately falling for him

Geordo proposing to Katarina

Geordo and Katarina being engaged

As well as the first Doom Flag -

Katarina realizes she’s in the game of Fortune Lover because of Geordo’s name and the fact that their engagement story is the same as from the game. Because of that, we learn what that actually means for Katarina who is the villainess of the original story. Or at least, what she thinks it means.

Being a romantic interest and a doom flag is a character position solely unique to Geordo and Keith.

While every now and again, Katarina will bring up that Maria, Alan and or Nicol are potentially “dangerous” to her and thus people she needs to keep an eye on for her safety… in all honestly, they’re really not.

Honestly, it kind of feels like the author(s) forget that the other characters could hypothetically be a ‘threat’ to Katarina and remember it randomly at times, and thus just insert it into the story.

Geordo and Keith are the true “doom flags” for Katarina. And even in that regard, Geordo and Keith are treated somewhat differently from one another.

Geordo’s role as a doom flag, is given a lot more attention than Keith as a doom flag. Now Katarina will insure her “safety” by telling Keith that she will never stand in his way of him being in love with someone, but that’s about it, as the years go on.

Katarina practicing her magic and getting stronger in that field to avoid being killed by Keith, is basically dropped as soon as it’s mentioned. As Katarina’s magic is quickly established as being weak, no matter what she does. So, that aspect of the story is a bit forgotten as the story moves forward.

But really, I think that even Katarina realizes that Keith as a doom flag is basically a neutralized threat, because of their close sibling relationship.

Geordo on the other hand, is still treated as a Doom Flag. Essentially all of her plans of escaping her doom, are basically plans that focus on Geordo turning on her and how to escape him specifically. Her snakes and even her sword-fighting (which is brought up less than the snakes).

So, one of the main premises of the story - the romantic and comedic tension of Katarina thinking her love-interests are potential doom-interests for her – is largely dominated by Geordo and Katarina’s relationship with him.

Though Keith is a close second in that regard.

Rivalry

While everyone is a rival, Geordo and Keith are the two main rivals (especially in the Manga).

We see this with their constant passive aggressive fighting and commentary towards one another, as well as being essential and core elements to the whole Harem and its dynamic.

Now, depending on which medium your engaging with, there are very strong arguments for Maria, Mary, or Alan being a third main rival character or if not that, at least being at a higher level than the others.

Maria

Maria is the original MC from Fortune Lover and is essential to Katarina’s fate…or at least in Katarina’s mind she is. That alone separates her from the others Harem Members.

Maria is also marked a being different the the rest, by being the newcomer to the Harem, and her and Katarina’s relationship (friendship and more) is a factor to the overall story.

All of that marks her as being if not a main rival, then certainly higher than others.

Mary

Mary get in the thick of it as much as Geordo and Keith do (especially in the novels). She is a constant thorn and wrench to Geordo and everyone else, but mostly Geordo.

Alan

Alan, because of his character design and popularity among fans, he gets leveled up and is given more attention as the story continues to progress and the anime clearly cements him as a main rival.

As shown in Vol 5. Geordo is the main rival to everyone and they’re all separated into groups into what their roles are in regards to breaking Geordo and Katarina’s engagement up and keeping them apart.

While really for comedic sakes, Geordo being the biggest opponent to everyone does, to some degree, tell us about his chances with Katarina (or at least I think so).

Kiss Scenes (LIGHT NOVEL SPOILERS BELOW)

In Novels 1-5, there are essentially 8 kisses that Katarina receives from the other characters (on her hand to her lips).

Out of these kisses, Geordo is the partner 6 times. Out of these kisses there are 3 pictures, that while not depicting the kisses themselves, do depict the moment just before. All of those pictures depict Geordo’s kisses.

Hand Kiss – Geordo (Vol.1)

There is a picture depicting the overall proposal scene, but not Geordo kissing Katarina’s hand or him about to.

Neck Kiss – Geordo (Vol.1)

There is a picture of Geordo hugging Katarina as they dance, right before he kisses her, but I didn’t really think it counted.

Water Kiss – Geordo (Vol.2)

This is absolutely a kiss scene. You can debate whether it’s CPR or something else, but the way it’s treated in the context of the story - it’s a kiss scene. Simple as that.

Neck Kiss 2.0 – Sora (Vol.3)

No picture.

Retaliation Kiss – Geordo (Vol.3)

No picture.

Confession Kiss – Geordo (Vol.3)

Basically, Katarina realizes that Geordo has romantic feelings for her in this scene. While she initially thought his Retaliation Kiss was just a dream of hers, a dream she was very flustered by, she is now more than aware of what is happening.

Waking Up Kiss – Keith (Vol.4)

Keith wakes up from his own Dark Magic Coma (so to speak) and thinking Katarina is just a dream, he kisses her, much to the shock of Katarina.

No Picture.

Retaliation Kiss 2.0 – Geordo (Vol.4)

Upset that Keith kissed Katarina in the “Waking Up Kiss”, Geordo also kisses her.

This scene in particular, especiall with the picture, I think really cements Geordo as the one who Katarina will end up with.

Simply because, Keith just kissed Katarina and there was no picture depicting it even though it happened a few moments/pages ago, but yet Geordo’s kiss (or about to kiss) is depicted. So, to me, this seems very telling.

[Update] Originally I brought up how Nicol kissed Katarina in Vol.8 that also had a picture depicitng the scene...but that was inaccurate. There is no kiss scene between the two in that moment.

Any others, I have no idea about.

I’m just going to stick to the novels I have read up to this point.

So, let’s get to my main point. Out of the 8 Kisses Katarina receives, in Volumes 1-5. It’s very telling to me that Geordo is the one doing the kissing 6 out of the 8 times. Plus, in the the first 5 Volumes, the 3 kisses that are depicted are Geordo’s.

In Ch. 17.5 we have our first bonus chapter, which gives us a special look into Geordo’s feelings for Katarina. So far, Geordo is the only one who has received this treatment.

Now that doesn’t mean others won’t, but I personally think that chapter is very sweet and romantic, so given that it’s Geordo’s chapter is another point for him.

In case, you somehow didn’t know, I love Ch. 17.5

Finally given how the story was supposed to end at Vol 2.

It’s very interesting to me that the last chapter, is from Geordo’s POV. We get to see his view on their relationship and his feelings for Katarina, as well as the water kiss scene.

Geordo gives a brief summary of each of the characters. More importantly he thinks about how is not pleased that everyone else is in love with Katarina and how he might lose her, but he does admit that he’s okay with things staying like this for awhile longer.

Largely because Katarina is so happy.

I genuinely do think Geordo has the best shot of ending up with Katarina out of all the characters.

Now whether I think that because I ship him and Katarina or whether I ship Geordo x Katarina because I think he has the best chance is difficult to say. Probably both.

Thanks for the question! :)

#Katarina Claes #Geordo Stuart #Hamefura #Bakarina #Destruction Flag Otome #Otome Game No Hametsu Flag #Gerald Stuart #Catarina Claes #My Next Life as a Villainess #Anonymous

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kay-diggle · 5 years ago

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“Broken.” (Series Proposal)

Note: Hey guys! So I’m still working on requests but in the mean time, I’m writing some of my own material as well. This new series is one that I’ve been playing out in my head for about two years but I guess I’ve never really had the courage to write it until now. I have the first few chapters written but I’ve always thought they were too bland and uninteresting, but my friend once told me to post it anyways because there’s bout to be someone out there who will like it, so I’m taking her word for it. I’m going to post the first chapter now and I know a lot of us like to be silent readers and that’s fine, but I’m literally BEGGING here for some feedback. I really want to know if this is something people would actually like to read! So please please please say something, anything! Literally anything would be helpful! Thanks bbys <3

[Proposed story] Summary: Y/N shut out her feelings and thought she would never love again. But then she met him. What happens when an American girl groups joins an internationally know Korean boy band on tour?

Genre & Rating: Fluff, Smut, Angst (the whole sha-bang), 18+

Warnings: This chapter is pretty light. Just notice the bold dialogue is when the characters are speaking in Korean, any other time please assume it’s in English :)

Length: 1.3 words

CHAPTER 1

A 14 hour flight from the grand state of New York to the extremely foreign country South Korea? Yeah, you weren’t feeling it at all. However, you took the trip to please your band mates, managers, and everyone else involved. Now you were in the BigHit company building feeling, and quite frankly looking out of place, awkwardly standing by the door of the waiting room you all were currently in.

“A smile won't do you any harm y/nnnnn,” your best friend Dana said, dragging out your name and pinching your cheeks forcing your face into a smile.

“No… but if you don’t let go of my fucking face, I’LL do YOU harm,” you replied sarcastically smiling.

Dana traded pinching your cheeks to holding both of your hands in hers.

“Look at me. I know you’re not all that excited or happy to be here. But think about it this way… it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, yeah? We’ll get to travel the world, meet a bunch of our fans and we are touring with the biggest boy band in the world. Great exposure.”

“Hmmm… as if the ‘exposure’ we got on that stupid TV show wasn’t enough,” you said, voice laced with venom. It always was when you thought about your high school days.

In high school, your group ‘Almost Angels’ starred in a reality television show based on your lives along with some friends called “Beyond the Lights.” It showcased your growing up, going from kids to teenagers to young adults in the public eye for everyone to see. It really put a strain on your lives in some aspects, so to say that you had a few hostile feelings towards the show would be an understatement.

“I thought we said we’d stop with the BTL slander,” Dana said referring to the show. “You act like NOTHING good came from the show. We graduated two years and look at us now,” she said while glancing all around the room you were currently being held in until the real negotiations could begin.

“Yes… I know, I know..”

Suddenly, a few BigHit workers came and directed your group and managers into an official board meeting room. Inside of the room sat what seemed to be a few BigHit executives along with seven of the most beautiful men you had ever seen in your life. The seven of them that you recognized as the members of BTS stoop up.

“Hello, we are BTS,” they introduced themselves and bowed.

“Hello. I’m Naomi and these are my band members: Chanel, Kali, Dana and y/n,” she said introducing them in Korean and bowing, prompting the rest of them to do so as well.

Naomi was born from an interracial relationship, her mother being African American and her dad being born and raised in South Korea. Her parents met when her mother did a study abroad program during her senior year in college and the rest was history. Naomi’s black culture dominates her life in America but her father made sure that her Korean culture was also very present, which is why she can speak it so fluently and knows the important customs.

“Okay, my turn,” Namjoon smiled his dimpled smile and chuckled, slightly surprised by Naomi’s introduction. “I’m Rm, this is Suga, Jin, Jungkook, J-hope, and Jimin. It’s really nice to finally meet you all!”

Everyone went around shaking hands and/or hugging while you had felt even more out of place. Aside from not really wanting to be in your current predicament, you also had social anxiety and weren’t always very comfortable meeting new people.

After everyone got their introductions out of the way, the CEO of BigHit, Bang PD, finally made an appearance. After a brief introduction from him and a few of his colleagues or employees, it was time to get down to business. The negotiation between your two groups and your teams were very successful, in part because some of the terms were already agreed on beforehand, and the other part due to a few translators being present and constantly taking the conversation from English to Korean and vice versa.

During the entire two hour meeting, you were completely spaced out. You honestly didn’t care about any of the terms they were setting, you just wanted to get into a hotel room and sleep as the jet lag was hitting you hard. You were dazed off, chin in palm, and thought that no one had noticed.

But they did. More specifically, he did.

Jimin, who you didn’t even know yet was so transfixed by your presence that he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Something about you was just so… magnetic, and he didn’t even have the courage to get up and say something to you, as he had missed you in the initial round of introduction. So that’s why when you were sitting in the corner by yourself on your phone, he could only stare at you from a distance.

“Go talk to her,” Taehyung said, walking up to Jimin and completely catching him off guard, making him jump.

“What are you talking about?” Jimin turned from you.

“I’m talking about how you keep staring at that girl like a creep. Go say hi.”

“I can't just… ‘go say hi’ Tae.”

“And why not?”

“Because….“ he replied sheepishly, looking away from Tae’s eyes in embarrassment. He couldn’t even explain it, but there was just something about you. Something that excited him but also scared the hell out of him in the same breath.

And with a roll of his eyes and Jimin’s wrist in his grasp, Tae pulled him over to where you were sitting, and you couldn’t explain the amount of fear that ran through your body when you noticed two figures hovering over you, making you shift in your seat as you were extremely uncomfortable.

You played it off though, as if you didn’t sense them standing over you. That was until you heard one of them cough to get your attention. You slowly lifted your head, your eyes automatically connecting with the man in front of you. You figured he was a member of the band and didn’t want to come off as being rude, so you smiled at him and he smiled back, giving you the brightest smile you had ever seen. It was so bright that his eyes almost completely disappeared behind his eyelids, and you swore that in that moment, you’d never seen anything cuter.

“Hi, I’m Taehyung, remember?”

“Yes! Hi again!”

“Well, this is Jimin. I think you two missed each other the first time and he just wanted to say hi.”

“Ohh,” you said standing up, preparing to greet him. “Hi, Jimin. I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you,” You smiled again, taking his hand in yours to shake.

At this point, Jimin was just staring at you, not letting go of your hand. You felt a sense of relief when Chanel called you over to the girls, saving you from the otherwise awkward encounter. You hurriedly excused yourself from the two boys, departing with a quick smile in both of their directions.

Once you were out of ear reach, Taehyung turned back to Jimin. “See, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

But Jimin couldn’t respond. He could barely even move. He just stood there, looking completely starstruck, and now Tae was worried.

“Jiminie?” he asked, placing a hand on the boy in question’s shoulder to try and get back at least some of his attention.

“Holy shit,” Jimin whispered more to himself than anything.

“What man…..? What’s wrong?”

Jimin turned to his friend and gave him the most serious look he could muster. “I think I might be in love.”

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not-a-perfect-metaphor · 5 years ago

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Well, I deleted this original answer (and then deleted it again as a post...and then deleted it one more time after that), so here it is for a fourth time with a screenshot of the original ask, and LET US HOPE that I can manage to see it through to completion.

This ask has taken me quite a bit of time and thought, because what I’m hoping to give you is a summary that helps you to better understand without being too overwhelming/containing way too much information.

First, thank you so much for reaching out, and I’m really glad you did! The point you’re at right now (or the point you were at when you sent this anyway) is where every single one of us started, and it’s an amazing journey from here if you find yourself wanting to take it! Seeking out resources from others is absolutely the way to go about it, and I hope that you always feel free to ask me (and other tinhats) for any info/thoughts/anything you need in the future! I can’t seem to include links in-post, but I’m going to message you a link to Speak the Truth, a site documenting J2 ‘happenings’ so to speak from a tinhat’s perspective through the year 2011. And, basically, whether someone’s been a tinhat from day one or for one day, we all have different pieces of the puzzle, and that’s really why it’s so important for us to connect with each other and work together as a whole.

So, let me try to figure out where to begin.

I, like quite a few other tinhats I’ve spoken with over the years actually, didn’t put much stock into any of this when it first started to emerge. People fantasizing about two celebrities having a romantic relationship (especially two leads in a movie or a TV show and especially when those leads are of the same sex) is far from a new thing and has been going on forever, and naturally I assumed in the beginning that J2 tinhats were no different. Had I not actually looked into all of it further and eventually then started really paying attention to the comings and goings of Jared & Jensen/watching all the footage I could find/reading the interviews/seeking out candid photos etc., I might not have ever changed my views, and it still took me quite a while to fully come around to where I am now even with all that.

What caused me to start looking more deeply in the first place was the simple fact that Jared & Jensen, even during the still-fledgling days of their relationship (however you happen to define that relationship), had a very unique and pretty immediate closeness that separated them distinctly from everyone else.

***As an aside, like I always bring up, most Wincest shippers were born from that intense J2 chemistry that bled into the characters of Sam & Dean.

The Js had clearly connected on a deep level that they not only spoke about openly from the beginning but that was also more than evident in the ways they interacted with each other, looked at each other, talked to each other, and even just existed in each other’s spaces (they even shared and share clothing and have freely admitted that).

Jared: “It didn’t feel like a blind date. It felt like we were continuing a relationship. There’s no rhyme or reason to what happened.”

They’ve also frequently phrased things like that *points up,* using very couple-y terminology.

(note: speaking of couple-y terminology, they’ve been heard calling each other “babe” and “baby” on several different occasions)

They’ve always had the kind of body language with each other that you really don’t see often in non-platonic relationships and that you especially don’t see often between two actors who’s paths have crossed initially in a purely work-related setting, and it was that special intimacy between them that first sparked my curiosity.

Let’s take a very brief look at just a few of those examples (a mix of the early years and beyond):

And below I’m including an example of the clothes-sharing I mentioned:

My curiosity expanded VERY rapidly (almost explosively) from that point onward as I began to dive more heavily into ‘J2-research.’

Like I said above, I’m not going to overload this post with specifics (although I’m happy to send specifics to you by the boatload if you’re interested), but I will just wrap up this first part of my answer by saying that it was the candid J2 moments I came across that really started to sell me on the possibility of a non-platonic J2 dynamic, the pictures and footage where they didn’t know they were being recorded or photographed, largely during the earlier years when they weren’t as cautious, but certainly not limited to those years, pictures/footage in which they interacted with each other in ways that I certainly would not interact with someone I wasn’t romantically involved with or at least romantically interested in).

Here are a couple of well-known examples. Less intense than some choice video clips (that I’ll have to find a way to post in the future) but still beautiful and intimate. I actually just posted that first one a few hours ago!

-which ‘arguably’ could depict the body language of two very close platonic friends (more so than the first photo, above it, anyway), but...look more closely at the giddy, love-struck expression on Jensen’s face as he watches Jared:

It’s kinda a bit harder to call it platonic when you really see it like that....

And...gosh, I poured over so many of these moments, just...so, so many.

Even then, though, I wasn’t necessarily convinced of the fact that the two were together in any kind of serious way. I, like this blog’s first owner, co-owner (who became a tinhat almost right alongside me, actually, time-wise) felt that the Js were certainly at least not strictly straight, quite possibly that they weren’t at all straight, and that they were definitely attracted to each other, an attraction that had likely yielded physical results, but I had no reason to think at that point that they would go to the great lengths (and put themselves through the unimaginable hardships) of leading such intricately and immensely false lives, at great personal expense, if they were actually in a serious, romantic relationship with each other that they both felt would be long-term.

Not when it was almost 2008 (at the time) and being a gay celebrity wasn’t anything to even bat an eye at anymore...right?

But I still had a lot to learn back then.

The next ‘milestone’ for me, upon looking even more closely (and not just at the Js anymore but at those around them/in their circle/etc., not to mention the Js lives pre-meeting each other, just all kinds of stuff) came the discovery(discoveries) of the many inconsistencies, which I’ll explain further, that were ultimately at the heart of my transition from on-the-fence to full tinhat.

A good example to use, because most people have at least some knowledge of this, centers around the period of time that the Js publicly lived together and the many...many different stories that were told explaining their living arrangement. I actually posted a pretty humorous account detailing some of it, and I can link you to it if you’d like. That’s just one example of many, but perhaps it’s the example with the most number of slip-ups/cases of the Js forgetting the details of the lie/etc.

To briefly cover one of those “living together” slip-ups, at separate meet-and-greets, Jensen once told people that he had moved out of Jared’s house while Jared said that Jensen was very much still living with him. And that’s probably the least suspicious but the easiest to quickly explain of the slips.

Another example, from later on (that I’m using because, again, it’s one that people are generally aware of) is when Jared told a story about being out to dinner in Italy with his wife and accidentally flipping off the waiter and then Jensen retold the exact same story at another con, only that time, he was the one who’d been with Jared.

Once I knew to look for them, I was blown away by how often these kinds of inconsistencies had already occurred and continued to occur, things being covered-up or overly-explained, stories changing sometimes three or more times in ways too significant to be excused away as memory lapses, even attempts at erasing things altogether...which doesn’t work very well in the age of the interwebz.

And why...why would these cover-ups and excuses and erasures exist if there was nothing to hide?

•••••••••

Retracing my steps for a moment to talk a little about the Js lives prior to meeting each other, which was one of the other things I’d started looking into by this point and definitely played an important part in confirming my tinhat beliefs.

The first example that comes to mind is Jensen’s ex-roommate (and just ex, period, at least that’s what I personally think), Ty Vaughn, the one underneath Jensen in this photo:

And I’ve spent a good 24 hours trying to track down footage I once had of Chad Michael Murray teasing young Jared about flirting with him (to Jared’s extreme embarrassment), but I cannot find it ANYWHERE. If anyone reading this can help me out, I would be forever in your debt.

Other noteworthy things (just a few): An ex-girlfriend of Jensen’s has admitted that she used to beard for someone, and her only celebrity ex is Jensen, and a few of Jared’s teachers from high school have expressed surprise that he’s married now to a woman...so, make of that what you will!

•••••••••

Okay, back to the inconsistencies!Another big one for me has always been the Js saying “we” or “us” (and meaning each other) when, according to public knowledge, it should have been “I” or “me.”

(as well as other synonyms of the above like “our”)

“We got to spend some time with our family yesterday.”

“They were knocking on our trailer.”

etc. etc.

And on the exact opposite end of the spectrum...also ironically what continues to fuel my certainty that the Js are together even more than the “we”-and-“us”-isms: the separation-of-the-Js tactic (varying in severity/frequency), sometimes for an evening or even a single event, sometimes for lonnng stretches of time, but always very suspicious, because, like I’ve been saying for this entire time, everyone knows that Jensen and Jared are extremely close, even those who believe that their closeness isn’t sexual or romantic. What I’m referencing with ‘separation of the Js,’ by the way, is what many tinhats believe to be the PR tactic used to paint pictures of the Js as being much less involved in each other’s lives to (in theory) control rumors. But the Js’ are and always have been intrinsically interconnected, so the reason that J2 separate narratives feel so forced and unnatural, often cringingly so, is because they kinda directly violate who Jensen and Jared are as people with each other, and if anything, that’s likely caused some new tinhats to come aboard, but it certainly hasn’t succeeded in convincing anyone who’s already a believer that they must have just been mistaken all along.

And I should definitely mention the suuuper-duper weirdness surrounding Jensen and Jared’s respective engagements and then weddings, as well as the information, or lack of information in Jared and Genevieve’s case, that was presented to the public about both ‘courtships,’ because almost every single aspect of all of that was drenched in tinhatty suspiciousness right from the start and all the way through. Again, I can link you to posts that detail the topic thoroughly, but to summarize very generally: Jared and Jensen, in leu of increasing rumors about the nature of their relationship, even more so in recent months than had previously been the case, were most likely counseled to straight-en up their images drastically, and fast...the only real way people can do that, by marrying members of the opposite sex (pretty much simultaneously, by the way, & much to the startled disbelief of many, including a very-public-about-his-skepticism Ted Casablanca).

Ted: “Jensen and Jared would sooner marry each other than who they’re currently rumored to be getting hitched to.”

Alright. Yikes. I’m really slipping here with my “not too many details” plan. I’ll start reigning it in again, I promise.

So, around the same same time as the weddings was when I started researching the practice of bearding (fauxmances) in the entertainment business in general, although not as heavily as I’ve researched the topic in recent years, and what I discovered and continue to discover was and is both eye-opening and heart-breaking. I actually just posted about this a couple of days ago, so instead of rambling on about it again, I’ll refer you to that (under the tag ‘toxic industry stuff’ for anyone reading this in the future). A quick summary: the reality that Jensen & Jared face every day and the decisions they’ve made to enter into false marriages are tragically common in the industry....yes, even and especially in today’s age, and for many gay actors and actresses specifically, the choice can really come down to either living honestly or protecting their careers/livelihoods/even their true relationships should they have them.

Since then, I’ve come across a lot of information as well about personal reasons, alongside industry reasons, that might have played a role in the decision to go the route of bearding for Jensen and Jared, like family history, their relationships with/views on/obstacles surmounted to succeed in (etc.) acting as a career, past experiences that have been hinted at, parental influence and sacrifice, not to mention the significant detail of who they happen to play on SPN...brothers (far too many ignorant people out there wouldn’t be able to move past the incest connotation, if a romantic relationship between the Js had been revealed).

By about midway through 2009, I was 100% convinced of the fact that Jared and Jensen were absolutely in a long term relationship that I would guess began around season two of Supernatural but had been on its way since the end of season one and during the hiatus between seasons one and two (want to know why I think that? I’ll do a separate post on it), and that the relationship was, of course, being hidden from the public.

The things that ultimately convinced me as they kept adding up are what continue to convince people today, the same things I’ve been going over at length (too much length) in this answer: intimacy between Jared & Jensen that extends beyond friendship-

-inconsistency in the information presented to the public that revolves around J2 and their time together/circumstances relating to both of them/etc., Jared and Jensen’s respective pasts before meeting each other, and even what some people believe to be hints dropped by Jared and Jensen themselves about their true relationship.

A well-known example (again, among many) that I’ve talked about pretty extensively is Jensen posting a photo in front of a mural that reads “love is love,” a well-known LGBT slogan, and then Jared posting a photo of himself in front of a mural that reads “love will win” on the very same day and captioning it “every time.”

This did turn out to be pretty overwhelming *sighs* but I hope at the very least I’ve succeeded in giving you a somewhat clearer idea of why us tinhats feel the way we do about Jared and Jensen, and I want to encourage you again to reach out whenever you like about anything you’d like to know!

There’s no such thing as a dumb question, and there’s no such thing as too many questions.

Just remember that! ❤️

#j2 tinhat #asks

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illfoandillfie · 4 years ago

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.......don’t be shy........ show us the comment 👀👀

lmao i will show you but only because i’ve already responded to it. I don’t want anyone to be mean to the commenter or make their own responses or anything like that. I’ve got no problems with people critiquing my work or offering suggestions on how to improve and she was very polite about it. It’s just that I didn’t agree with some of what she said lmao

okay so this comment was left on the prequel to Interloper (Snapshots From Before)

I usually don’t comment a lot in here (tho i do give lots of kudos) and the first part of this was so awesome that i’ve read it many times! However, this second part felt kinda... sexist? I think you gave this the wrong approach and ended up with the boys being a little mysoginistic, specially Roger telling y/n “if you are that hungry for dick you can ride me” (i’m not actually quoting the exact line but it was like that). I would’ve love to see at least one scene where you show some after care and the boys actually caring about y/n so we could see that their relationship is a healthy one. Without this, it just seems like she’s bassically a human sex toy. I get it, it’s the whole “she’s just holes to fill” and that’s great, i respect people who are into that, but even then there has to be some caring and empathy from both parties. Also, orgasm denial is hot but regardless, having sex has to be rewarding for both participants and Roger just sorta fucked her and asked her to leave? In a very non polite way? Sex is about both parties reaching to climax and equality for both lmao.😅 I know it’s a one shot but i would’ve like to see the non sexual part of y/n’s relationship with the boys other than post coital conversations. Again, i loved the first and third part, i think you have so much writing potencial within you and you should embrace it. These are all constructive critics and i do not wish to make you feel bad or offend you. I actually enjoy the whole mecanics of these raw, awesome, hot, sexy sex scenes but even though its fiction (which i know) and this whole slut kink is actually something people like let’s not forget to narrate healthy, caring relationships. Again, this seems like some eassay for a thesis but im just expressing MY point of view and i do not intend harm towards you as a writer or someone else as a reader. And yes, probably i need to “chill the F out” cause it’s just an ao3 bloody fic but still. Expressing an opinion that can help the writer improve is good! I think. Better than spreading hate. Hope you can see this note as friendly and respectul advice. Thank you so much for writing this. Have a great day! Stay safe xxx

and this was my response

Hi! Thanks for taking the time to comment, it really means a lot!

I will definitely keep in mind some of your criticisms as I continue writing, however there are a couple of places where our opinions differ, so I’d like to offer an explanation or two as to why I wrote it the way I did.

Firstly, I have to disagree with your statement that sex is about both parties reaching climax. It’s not. Not always anyway. Taking aside any kink related aspects like orgasm denial, sometimes sex just isn’t about finishing. It can be super rewarding and fun even without the orgasm. So much of an orgasm is related to a person’s mental state that little things like their mood or stress level or if they feel pressure to cum can have a huge impact on how easy it is to orgasm. And women especially can have trouble reaching climax. For some people, mostly women though it can affect men too, the sexual disorder anorgasmia makes orgasm physically impossible no matter how much stimulation they receive. So to say sex is about everyone getting to that end point isn’t totally correct. A lot of the time it’s less about the orgasm and more about feeling good during the rest of the act and/or strengthening a connection with a partner. Expecting everyone to orgasm every time is unrealistic and can in fact make it harder. Of course, that’s ignoring people who enjoy the kink side of it, intentionally stopping orgasms. A lot of people take tease and denial beyond just the length of a single sexual encounter, instead stretching it to days or weeks or months or even years of not being able to cum (fully).

Now, in regards to the fic itself. This chapter came about because I’d asked people to request concepts theyd like to see me write as a blurb or short one shot. I neglected to include the actual request in the summary or author note but the request was for a smutty prequel to interloper flashing back to when Reader was a groupie. At the time of writing I had a lot of requests I was trying to get done within a short amount of time so I was trying to keep things as brief as I could while still giving an entire story. The non-sexual aspects of the relationships didn’t feel important to include in this chapter because that wasn’t what was asked for. On top of that, the entire concept of the story hangs on how the sexual relationship dynamics change when the non-sexual relationship dynamics change and I wanted to make sure that wasn’t affected by the prequel. My goal was to establish a connection between the reader character and each of the guys and to make it feel as if there was history there, so I focused on flirty banter that led into sex scenes. And then, at the end of each scene, implied more would happen between the characters “off page”. I added in the Freddie section at the end as a way to solidify this chapter as a prequel and give a little explanation for how the main part starts (of course, at that time there was no third chapter). Plus, as Freddie doesn’t have a sexual relationship with Reader, his non-sexual relationship with her is very different to her relationships with the others, much closer to a friendship. (Which of course paves the way for how he’s on better terms with her at the beginning of the first chapter.)

One thing you imply in your comment is that as an author I should be writing healthy, caring relationships. I love writing those sorts of stories and relationships but I don’t believe I /have/ to write just healthy, caring relationships. I have a total of 38 fics posted on AO3 and I think most of them deal with “healthy” relationships. I make it a point to write aftercare scenes and to establish trust and safe words between my characters in most of my smut writing. And even if I’m exploring heavier kinks like extreme bdsm or hypnosis and bimbofication I do my best to stick to the rules of “safe, sane and consensual”. But, it is not my job as a writer to create morally perfect or role model relationships. I am well within my rights to explore relationships that don’t adhere to what is traditionally considered healthy, be that through ignoring safe words or foregoing aftercare or just having two characters be manipulative and mean to each other. If you want aftercare and “healthy” I have 37 other fics for you to look at. But this chapter doesn’t have to be that for it to be publishable.

And finally, I feel I have to defend Roger a little bit. I can definitely see how he could be read as sexist and I think part of the problem was just me trying to keep it short which meant I didn’t give enough space for Reader’s reactions or enough descriptions of emotion. But to me, as I was writing it, nothing Roger said was intended to be misogynistic or rude. I was playing around with one of my personal favourite kinks, degradation in conjunction with the orgasm denial (another favourite lmao). Everything he said was specifically to humiliate and degrade her, just because that’s what I find hot. Calling her desperate, telling her she sounds pretty begging, talking down to her, implying he’d /use/ her again later, all of that is part of the degradation kink and I intended for it to be a form of dirty talk. Similarly, the part where he says she can leave wasn’t meant to come across as rude. He calls her a good girl and brushes her hair back from her face first (a softer moment, contrasting everything else that happens between them) and then says she can leave, which plays into the denial kink and the idea that it could last longer than the time they were in bed together. Personally, I’m very very into extended denial, especially if it’s treated as a threat of punishment or something like that, and that was the inspiration behind Roger’s section of this chapter.

Thank you again for the comment, it really did make me think about how I’d written this particular chapter and my intentions behind it. And I fully agree that comments like yours can help writers improve! I’ll definitely keep in mind what you’ve said as I work on my next fic and hopefully avoid some of the unintended sexist overtones in future. Have a great day!

#lowkey feel kinda weird posting this here #but i know some of you would be curious enough to go looking for the original comment #and i really don't want it to go any further #which is also why i didn't screenshot the comment with her username or anything like that #constructive criticism is good and helpful #and i know there are things in my writing that could be commented on #and i don't want to discourage her from leaving comments in the future (be they criticism or praise)#i just thought she missed the point on a couple of aspects of his fic #Anonymous

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cinaja · 5 years ago

Text

Before the Wall - part 15

An acotar fanfic on the time of the War. For the summary and the entire story, click here

Disclaimer: The world and the characters belong to sarah j maas

TW: Suicide (not explicit)

----

There was no keeping what happened during the battle secret. Not when every healer saw Miryam run off and the Illyrians are, apparently, able to sense witches and have been close to revolt ever since they found out that one of the camp`s commanders is one.

Jurian feels horrible. He is well aware that this situation is almost entirely his fault. Miryam‘s most closely guarded secret is secret no longer. And she could have died. All because he pushed her. (Although if he is entirely honest, a part of him is also glad that it went this way. At least Miryam stopped hiding from her own power and can perhaps begin to use it properly. He doesn`t dwell on these thoughts too long, though, because they always make him feel like a prick.)

It is a good thing that the post-battle clean-up keeps Jurian extremely busy. That way, at least, he has reason to stay away from Miryam without having to admit to himself that he is too ashamed to face her. Instead, he gets into a fight with three Illyrians for hissing insults at her and sentences ten of his own soldiers to guard duty when he overhears them wondering if they want a half-Fae witch in their midst.

But - and this is the true surprise - the people hissing insults are outnumbered by far by those who seem awed by the news. He overheard more than one of them whispering of a blessing, a gift from the gods. It`s better than the others, but still somehow unsettling.

„Jurian.“

He turns around to face Tia, who is running towards him, waving a letter.

„This just arrived from the Alliance“, she says.

„For me?“

„And Miryam.“ Tia winks at him. “But I thought I‘d deliver it to you and have you tell her.“ Jurian takes a face at her. Tia grins. „What? I didn`t watch you dance around each other for months only for you to bolt because you messed up once.“

Jurian snatches the letter out of her hand. He inspects the sear, then rips it open and scans the content. He curses softly. Now he is really going to have to talk to Miryam. He doubts it will be a pleasant conversation, though.

„I have to go“, Jurian says.

„Have fun!“, Tia calls after him.

Jurian makes a rather rude gesture over his shoulder. Miryam, fortunately, seems to be in her tent, saving him from having to search the entire camp for her. He hesitates for a moment before entering. There are voices coming from the inside.

“-will cover that order”, Miryam is saying, “With the battle, no one will even question it.”

“So we`re out of trouble?”, Mor asks, sounding relieved.

“Which”, Mor`s cousin cuts in, “is sheer dumb luck, Mor.”

“Oh, shut up!”

Jurian has to admit, he`s curious. He`d love to remain standing before the entrance, but he has already crossed one line lately. Eavesdropping on a private conversation (especially with lots of Fae who are likely to catch him) doesn`t seem like the smartest move. Besides, he has news to deliver.

Everyone turns to Jurian as he enters. Mor and her cousin exchange a look.

“We were just leaving”, Mor says.

She takes her cousin by the arm and shoves him out of the tent. Miryam smiles wryly, Jurian shakes his head.

“Do they think”, he asks, “that we don`t notice what they are doing?”

“Oh, I´m sure they just don`t care.”

Jurian grins, but sobers quickly. “About the camp talk…”, he begins, but is unsure about how to continue.

Miryam`s face tightens. “Don`t worry about it”, she says, “I always knew it would happen. Honestly, I`m surprised they aren`t calling for my head.”

Jurian clenches and unclenches his fingers. He`s already trying to come up with a way to shut down the talk, no matter what Miryam says. He knows, though, that this will be damn near impossible once the news pass beyond their camp, which is bound to happen anytime now.

“You should be angry with me”, he says.

“Maybe. But I`m not.” Jurian is about to reply, but she shakes her head. “Can we just drop it? Please?”

Jurian sighs and holds up the letter. “They set the time for the meeting.”

He didn`t think that Miryam could grow any tenser, but she does. “When?”

“Tomorrow.”

“What?” Now, Miryam is staring at him with wide eyes, like she is searching for a hint of a lie. Unfortunately, Jurian is telling the truth.

“At least by then, news of your abilities likely won`t have broken yet.” It`s a piss-poor attempt at comforting her, but he really can`t think of anything else.

“She`ll be there”, Miryam says softly.

Carefully, Jurian reaches out for her hand. “You won`t be alone”, he says, “I`ll be with you and it will be fine.”

Miryam nods, but the look in her eyes tells her that she sees straight through his empty words. Because Jurian may be going with her to the meeting, but he is no politician. During the discussions, she will be on her own.

----

Drakon is not having a pleasant day. He thought it couldn`t get much worse after the nightmare of a meeting he had this morning with Sinna and the commander of the unit the Alliance sent to replace them. They are from Prythian, with membranous bat-like wings. So far, Drakon‘s experiences with their new allies have been... difficult. In their meeting, the Illyrian leader kept sneering at Drakon and calling him boy – which was still polite compared to how he treated Sinna. Unsurprisingly enough, the meeting ended with the Illyrian`s nose broken and Drakon having to keep Sinna from killing the male.

In the two hours since the meeting ended, he was already called in to break up three fights between his soldiers and the new ones. (Sinna seems more inclined to start fights than to stop them these days, so he is stuck playing peacemaker.)

This round through the camp seems to be going better than the last one, though. It looks like the soldiers learned to stay out of each other`s way at last. Besides, Drakon and his soldiers will be leaving tomorrow so the tentative peace won`t have to last long, anyways.

Drakon reaches the waste disposal area. It seems like the now soldiers are already digging new latrines. Drakon looks into the hole in construction and is surprised to find only one soldier working inside.

“Where are the others?”, he asks, “Surely you aren`t supposed to dig the latrine all on you own?”

The soldier puts down his shovel and gives Drakon a wild grin. “Oh, I`m more than enough for one such hole.”

He seems far more pleasant than the other Illyrians Drakon met so far. Younger, too, which is somewhat refreshing. (These days, Drakon is usually surrounded by people at least a hundred years his senior.)

“Want me to help you?”, Drakon offers, “Otherwise, you`ll be busy until past midnight.”

“You volunteer to spent your afternoon digging through hard dirt?” The Illyrian laughs. “Well, I can`t save you from yourself, then.”

Drakon takes that as a yes. He grabs a shovel that is lying next to the hole and jumps down. From there, he gets a better view of the male. There are seven red stones – syphons? – glinting on his armour. From what Drakon gathered, the amount of stones is usually related to a person`s rank.

„What did you do“, he asks, „to end up in this shithole?“

The male snorts at the pun. „Was born a bastard.“ He shrugs, grinning, „And mouthed off to Lord Devlon about getting his nose broken by a female.“

Drakon frowns. „If you knew half of the females I‘ve met, you wouldn‘t be surprised.“

The Illyrian laughs. „Oh, I know my fair share of scary females, too, so I wasn‘t surprised. But for Devlon, getting pummelled by a female is a new experience for him. Almost a pity you guys are leaving - maybe someone would be able to beat some sense into that thick head of his.“

„Well, as someone who has been stuck here for months, I`m looking forward to leaving.” Drakon thinks back to the look on Lord Devlon`s face after Sinna punched him and adds, “Although watching Sinna break that guy‘s nose might have been worth staying a while longer.“

“On first name basis with your general.“ The Illyrian whistles softly and throws a shovel of dirt out of the latrine. “You‘re highborn, aren‘t you?“

Drakon nods, unwilling to say any more on it. Maybe it‘s stupid, but it is freeing to be a normal person for once, instead of the Prince of Erithia. Like he isn‘t responsible for thousands of lives. The Illyrian seems to consider his answer for a moment, then nods.

„Where were you stationed before this?“, Drakon asks, happy to steer the conversation into a different direction.

„Further south.“ He wrinkles his nose. „Fighting these Black Land bastards. Fire magic really is no fun. You?“

„I‘ve been stuck here.“ Well, except for his brief visits to the other parts of the army and Erithia. „But we‘re leaving due north tomorrow. I can‘t say I‘m sorry to be leaving this place.“

The Illyrian laughs. „Oh, I can imagine. I‘ve been here for a day and already want to leave. It‘s-“ A bucket full of dirt hits him square in the face, cutting him off. Drakon spins around to the source of the attack.

„Hey, bastard!“, a voice shouts from above. Three Illyrians are standing at the edge of the latrine. „Enjoying eating dirt?“

Drakon frowns up at them. „Leave him be.“

„What is it to you?“, one of the Illyrians asks.

He kicks a bunch of dirt into the pit, but it bounces off harmlessly on the shield Drakon set up. For a second, he is sorely tempted to let the dirt they shovelled out of the pit in the last hours bury the soldiers under them. Unfortunately, getting into a fight with your allies is not a very prince-like thing to do. (Bad enough if Sinna does it.)

So instead, he does the mature thing and says, „I generally do not permit soldiers in my camp to provoke fights. So if you aren‘t here to help, I‘d suggest you leave.“

„Your camp?“, one of the soldiers snorts. “Sure. That`s why you`re digging around in the dirt.”

Drakon really doesn`t like most Illyrians, he decides. “Well, someone needs to dig the latrine, unless you`d prefer to take a shit in the middle of the camp”, he says, “And I`d not be a very good commander if I asked my soldiers to do something I`m not ready to do myself, would I?”

The soldiers exchange looks. Drakon is pretty sure that none of their leaders ever bothered with such undignified tasks. But they seem unwilling to risk a punishment, so they leave with barely any complaint.

Drakon turns back to his companion, who is watching him with raised eyebrows.

“You`re Prince Drakon of Erithia?”, he asks.

“Would you believe me if you said I`m not?”

The Illyrian laughs. “No.” He picks his shovel back up. “Well then, Your Highness. Better get back to work.”

----

Miryam barely recognizes herself in the mirror. If she thought she was dressed up for previous meetings, it is nothing compared to this.

The dress was a gift by the Grand Duke of Sangravah. It is all flowing silk, midnight black yet shimmering in the light. Around the hems, there are silver embroideries. With it came a necklace of diamonds glowing like stars and a diadem.

It makes Miryam look less like a girl of nineteen and more like a grown female. More than that. It makes her look like she belongs with these royals. An impression that couldn`t be more wrong.

From where he is sitting on her desk, Kiel lets out a shriek and puffs up his feathers. Miryam turns around to the bird.

“You`re wondering what I`m doing, aren`t you?”, she whispers, “Well, I don`t know either.”

Before she can change her mind and bolt as her entire body is screaming at her to, she steps out of the tent and into the camp. A bunch of passing soldiers stop short to stare at her. Jurian stops speaking in what appeared to be the middle of a conversation with Tia. Miryam blushes.

A few soldiers begin whispering amongst each other. “Witch”, Miryam hears, and “Gods-blessed”. She doesn`t know which word she loathes more. Before this can go any further, she steps towards Jurian. She doesn`t miss Tia giving him a nudge and Jurian quickly snapping back to attention.

“Let`s go”, Miryam says quietly.

Mor is tasked with winnowing them to the meeting place, although she herself is not invited to participate. She holds out her hand to Miryam.

“You look stunning”, she says, “Go show those pricks their place.”

Miryam manages a shaky smile, then Mor winnows them away. When they reappear, Mor only gives her hand a quick squeeze before she vanishes again, leaving Miryam and Jurian on their own.

The meeting is held in the Continent‘s neutral meeting space - a palace that was built by some long-ago king in the middle of a huge lake. It has been long since abandoned and after the three bordering territories spent centuries fighting over the island, it has been declared neutral ground.

The guards waiting at the gate belong to every territory, but it has been chosen that Alliance members are searched by Loyalist guards and vice versa. Miryam hands her dagger to a guard and then tries to keep a neutral look on her face as the guard begins searching her, hands lingering a bit too long for comfort. Next to her, Jurian looks like he considers punching the guard searching him. (Miryam wonders if it was perhaps a mistake to bring him along.)

But then, they are through the control. A far more friendly-looking guard points them to a glittering crystal bowl standing just before the entrance. Miryam takes a knife lying next to is and presses it agains ther palm lightly. A drop of blood wells up and falls into the bowl.

„I swear that while I am on these grounds, to do no harm to anyone here, not by action or intention. I swear it on my life and on my blood.“

The blood in the bowl turns to blinding light. Rays of it shoot up into the air and merge with the wards that encircle the palace. They are more complicated than any Miryam has ever seen. Far too complicated for her to ever understand. But when Miryam steps forward, the wards move aside to allow her through. A step behind her, Jurian whistles softly as they step into the foyer.

„Well, this is certainly impressive“, he mutters, looking up at the high ceiling and the ornate admonishments. Miryam nods, although she can‘t say she is overly impressed. Unlike Jurian, she has seen her fair share of Fae architecture and while she can usually still appreciate its beauty, today, the thrill is lost on her.

She barely spares her surroundings more than a glance and instead focuses on the assembled Fae. Her eyes scan the room with practiced ease, but the Black Land‘s delegation is not there yet. (A brief reprieve, Miryam knows. Still, she can‘t help feeling relieved.) There are other familiar faces, though.

Miryam knows most leaders of the Continent‘s bogger territories at least by sight. She recognises the Xian empress, dark-haired and light-skinned. She is deep in conversation with the Raskan king. Further off, she spots the current leader of Montesere‘s High Council, who is glowering at Jurian.

He isn‘t the only royal to spot their arrival. Quite a few turn and stare, some snarling, others seeming more curious than angry. Miryam lifts her chin and loops her arm through Jurian‘s. At the end of the room, she spots some of the other Alliance delegates and makes to lead Jurian towards them.

But before they are even halfway across the room, two females step into their pass. Jurian stiffens immediately. It takes Miryam a few seconds longer than him to recognize them. It‘s the red hair that makes the memory stir at the end - something she remarked already during the battle two days ago.

„Look at that“, one of the females drawls. She is the less beautiful one of the two, but somehow more terrifying. Not that it fazes Miryam much - even General Amarantha of Hybern could never even come close to Ravenia. „Two dirty little humans“, the General continues, „thinking they can hold up with their betters.“

Her mouth curles into a smile. Miryam‘s every instinct shouts at her to run at this smile. Or at the very least to lower her head, bow quickly. Make herself invisible. Instead, she squares her shoulder and smiles back.

„And here I was, thinking we were here because you had trouble holding up with us.“

Jurian rasps a laugh. „It certainly looked like it during our battle two days ago.“

Now, that is a blatant lie. They would have gotten their asses kicked if the Hybern soldiers hadn‘t run when that witch`s spell failed. The moment of surprise really did save them. Miryam doubts it will work a second time, though.

Still, the second female. -Clythia, Amarantha‘s younger sister, more beautiful but just as cruel - now watches Jurian with interest. There is an intensity in her gaze that makes Miryam bristle.

„So you are the General who pushed our armies back?“, she asks, „An impressive feat.“ Amarantha scoffs and Clythia pats her arm without tearing her gaze away from Jurian. „You must be a fine General.“

„Now, now. It‘s hardly skill “, Amarantha says, „unless you now count having a way to repel our spells as a feat of the commander.“

Miryam has to remind herself to keep breathing normally. She knows that her secret will be out within a few days, but for the span of this meeting, she`d prefer to keep it.

Clythia steps towards Jurian in a fluid motion. His hand darts for his belt, he, too, had to surrender his weapons. Clythia whispers something to him, to low for Miryam to hear. Then, she lets go and steps back. Amarantha is frowning, she grabs her sister by the arm and whispers furiously to her as she leads her away.

Miryam turns to Jurian. „What did she say to you?“

Jurian presses his lips together, his hands are clenching and unclenching. „That we‘d meet again. She said our lives are intertwined.“

Behind them, a laugh sounds and Helion steps up between them. „That‘s seers to you - always saying things to mess up your lives.“ He claps Jurian on the back. „Don‘t let it get to you.“ He grins at Miryam. „You look absolutely stunning.“

Miryam forces a smile, but still can‘t shake what Clythia told Jurian. She may not know much about seers, but even she knows that only a fool takes their words lightly. She wishes she could talk to Jurian in private, but then, the rest of their delegation is standing around them now and Miryam is busy greeting all of them, discussing strategies and playing confident leader. (What was she thinking, agreeing to lead this delegation?)

Finally, the clock chimes twelve and everyone files into a huge meeting room. Miryam, as leader of the Alliance delegation, takes the seat at the head of the table. The chair opposite her remains empty. Ravenia still isn‘t there. Miryam isn‘t surprised - she accompanied the female to enough meetings to know that she loves to flaunt her power by turning up late. By making everyone wait for her.

A few of the Loyalists look annoyed at having to wait, too, but when Miryam suggests to start the meeting early, none of them agree. They are all too scared of Ravenia to risk angering her by starting without her. So they sit in silence as the minutes tick by. Miryam feels her nerves beginning to fray. Next to her, Jurian is tapping his fingers on the table.

After half an hour, the door opens and Ravenia enters. The queen of the Black Land looks radiant, dressed in a white cloth so light she seems to glow, gold jewellery glinting in the light. Her gaze sweeps over the room with the disinterest of a female who knows that she is on top of the world and everyone is so far beneath her that she can barely see them. She is flanked by two advisors. And, behind her, three human slaves follow. Children, like all of her personal slaves. Miryam tenses. Next to her, Jurian hisses softly.

Ravenia takes her place and her eyes finally find Miryam. Her eyebrows lift ever so slightly, the only sign of her surprise.

„That belongs to me“, she says and jerks her chin towards Miryam.

Murmuring rises aroung the table. Miryam wants to reply something, but words escape her. All she sees is Ravenia at the other side of the table, her slaves standing behind her. She can‘t push the memories back. It`s like it is her standing next to Ravenia instead of these slaves. All that pain and fear and suffering. What was she thinking, coming here like she stood a chance against the female before her?

„She belongs to no one but herself“, Jurian says.

Miryam wants to shoot him a grateful look, but she can‘t tear her eyes away from Ravenia. She feels like if she does, she won‘t be able to hold it together anymore. She will just fall apart into a million broken pieces.

Ravenia smiles at her like she knows exactly what Miryam is going through. „That‘s not true, now, is it, Miryam? You may fool them all into thinking you their equal, but in the end, You‘ll always belong to me.“

Miryam just holds her stare. She prays that people will interpret it as defiance and not understand that she couldn’t speak if she wanted to.

The Xian empress saves her from thinking of something to say. „Could we get on with it, then?”, she asks, “No one cares about your runaway slaves and we are already late.“

There is an edge to her voice. The Loyalists may be allies, but that doesn‘t mean that they wouldn‘t throw each other to the wolves at a moment‘s notice if it benefited them. That‘s an advantage, but Miryam still can‘t find the words to take it.

The meeting is a nightmare. Miryam does her best to stir the conversation, but her words feel stiff and unwieldy. She is way out of her depth among these royals, all of whom don‘t seem inclined at all to go easy on her. On a good day, she might still have been able to stand her ground. But not today, not here. Because standing before these people, she isn‘t the emissary of the entire Alliance anymore - she‘s just a slave girl, alone in a room full of Fae.

The conversation spirals out of control far too quickly. Her allies have begun shooting Miryam questioning looks, but she can‘t do anything against it. They are losing, and losing badly. By now, some of the Alliance members look like they are inclined to agree with what the Loyalists are saying – promises of peace, of new trading deals and prosperity for all. If only the war ended. Utter rubbish, but some of the Fae seem to believe it.

„It isn‘t that we are fighting for slavery“, Ravenia says, „We are fighting for our freedom. Our freedom to choose how to run our countries. None of us wish to force you to start owning slaves, but we want to keep our property and our way of living.“

There are murmurs of agreement. To Miryam‘s horror, some come from Alliance members.

„What you call freedom“, she says, fighting to keep her voice even, „includes the enslavement of thousands of people. Your way of living destroys thousands of lives and what you call property are living, feeling beings.“

But it isn‘t enough. The words lack the punch they would need to draw the audience back on her side. Ravenia smiles and Miryam shrinks back in her seat. Jurian puts a hand on her arm and she only barely manages not to flinch.

That is when one of Ravenia‘s slaves moves. She lifts her head and takes a step forward.

„We are not property“, she says, staring at Ravenia, “You can beat us and chain us up and kill us, but you will never truly own us.”

Then, faster than any of them can react, she draws a knife from under her thin clothes. At first, Miryam thinks that she is going to attack Ravenia. But the girl just looks at Miryam. For a moment, their gazes lock. Then, she turns the knife towards her own chest and plunges it down.

„No!“

Miryam jumps to her feet, but the girl is already collapsing. Without thinking, Miryam rushes around the table and falls to her knees next to the girl. She knows that she is too late, but she still presses her hands on the bleeding wound on the girl‘s chest.

She is only a few years younger than Miryam, with the same curly dark hair and brown skin. Had things gone a bit differently, this could have been her.

„Please“, the girl whispers, her voice barely more than a breath. Miryam doesn`t know what she is begging for and the girl never gets a chance to say it. She doesn`t even get another word out before she dies.

Still, Miryam remains kneeling on the ground. There is blood on her hands, blood on her dress, but she can‘t tear her eyes away from the girl.

„Could we get on with it, then?“, Ravenia asks.

Like there isn‘t a dead child lying on the floor. Like this girl‘s life was nothing. And suddenly, Miryam isn‘t scared anymore. She is angry.

„You will never win“, she whispers.

„What?“

„I said“, Miryam says and lifts her head, „you will never win.“

Slowly, she stands up and turns around to face Ravenia. For the first time, she meets the queen‘s gaze without fear.

„Because we will never stop. Even if you win this war, even if you kill us all, you won‘t win. Because you create your own downfall.“ Miryam pints a bloody hand towards the dead girl. „You take everything from people until they have nothing left to lose. And as long as there is a single slave left, there will never be peace.“

„You seem to think“, Ravenia says, „that we would hesitate to kill every human in our territories should it become necessary.“

„You can‘t.“ Miryam shakes her head. „Humans are the ones who build your palaces and houses. The ones who grow your food and serve it. For all your power, you are nothing without us. And in the end, that‘s what you will be in the end: Nothing.“

The entire room is silent now.

Miryam says, „You are all doomed. Every territory that owns slaves is walking towards its downfall. Maybe you will win this war, maybe you will survive. But you are still doomed. Even if it takes centuries, in the end, you will lose.“

She turns back to Ravenia and takes a step towards her until she is standing directly in front of her.

„But you“, she says, „you will not survive this war. They say you create your own doom and it will be my pleasure to be yours. I will destroy you. When this is all over, there will never be slaves again in the Black Land.“ She dares a glance towards her allies on the other side of the table before she turns back to Ravenia. „And if no one will stand with me, I will do it alone. If it is necessary, I will march into your capital on my own and personally free every single man, woman and child you deem property. I will tear down the palaces you paid for with my people‘s blood with my bare hands and when you stand in the ruins and your land is burning around you, you will remember this moment and the fact that you have no one but yourself to blame.“

For a moment, something like worry flickers in Ravenia‘s dark eyes. But then, she tips her head back and laughs. A few of her allies join in.

„I‘m a queen“, Ravenia says, „and you are nothing. Just a human worm. And you think you can destroy me?“ She laughs again. „Go ahead, then. I‘d like to see you try.“

Miryam stares her down. And for the first time, she releases the hold she has on her magic. She doesn‘t let it do anything, just flow through the air. A few people gasp, but Miryam sees nothing but Ravenia.

In a voice she barely recognizes, she says, „I‘d like to see you stop me.“

This time, no one laughs. They just stare. Miryam holds the queen‘s gaze a moment longer. Then, she turns away.

„Unless you free your slaves, there will never be peace“, she says, „As far as I‘m concerned, there is nothing else to say.“ Miryam pulls open the door. “This meeting is over.”

For a heartbeat, she thinks that the others won‘t follow. But then, Jurian rises. The rest of the Alliance members get to their feet as well. As one, they leave the meeting.

----

Tags: @sjm-things

#miryam #jurian #drakon #clythia

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rhosyn-du · 4 years ago

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Title: A Wonderful Institution Artist: @bidnezz Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, various background pairings Word Count: ~53k Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, discrimination against Downworlders, reference to rape, Clave-typical homophobia, implied character death, minor character death Summary: Magnus doesn’t have time for this bullshit. Warlocks are disappearing in New York City—five people in less than three months—and Magnus is determined to find them and protect the rest of his people from whatever took them. He doesn’t have time for politics, and he certainly doesn’t have time for whatever nonsense the Clave is proposing about marrying a Shadowhunter to a Downworlder as part of the new Accords. He doesn’t really have time for a pretty Shadowhunter who’s surprisingly kind to warlock children, either, but, well, he’s always been good at multitasking.

Alec always knew he couldn’t have what he wanted, but he’s spent the nearly four years since the newly-appointed Consul recalled his parents to Idris without explanation making the best of what he can have. When life suddenly offers up almost everything Alec actually wants on a silver platter, he can’t quite bring himself to trust it, especially when it comes with a million caveats and a side of impending disaster. But he knows how to handle disasters, even if the return of the Circle on top of Clave secrets that could destroy the Accords is way beyond the disasters he’s used to fielding. Hope, on the other hand? He doesn’t know what to do with that.

This fic was created for the @malecdiscordserver Mini Bang 2020.

Chapter Four

In the utter silence that descended upon the room, all Alec could hear was his own heartbeat, so loud and so fast he almost thought everyone else in the room should hear it, too. Throughout the entire meeting, he’d felt like there wasn’t enough air in the room for him to breathe, but now it was the opposite, as though his brain were suddenly flooded with too much oxygen, leaving him lightheaded and giddy and vaguely nauseous. When he looked at Magnus, he was surprised to see something like his own shock mirrored back at him.

The silence was broken when the vampire representative muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “Dios mio,” at the same time that Maryse demanded, “Is this a joke?”

Alec tore his gaze away from Magnus. “Mother—” he started.

He was interrupted by the werewolf. “We aren't the ones questioning your choice, Shadowhunter. If anyone is treating this like a joke, it's you.”

“No one is treating this like a joke,” Consul Penhallow said, throwing a pointed look at Maryse.

Alec thought his mother might actually argue with the Consul, right here in front of the Downworld representatives, but the Seelie Queen spoke before Maryse could.

“I think it's a lovely match.”

Once again, the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. No one wanted to contradict the Seelie Queen, and seelies couldn't lie, so she meant what she said, but it was more than a little disturbing to have that kind of endorsement. Even Magnus looked uncomfortable, an expression that seemed wholly out of place on his usually self-assured face.

“The Clave will want some time to vet our choice, of course,” the Seelie Queen continued. “As we will to vet yours.”

“Naturally,” Consul Penhallow agreed. “We’ll be in touch by fire message by the end of the week, which should keep us on track to sign the updated Accords at the next new moon, as planned.”

“Indeed,” Magnus said. “We’ll be in touch, as well.” His eyes flickered to Alec for an instant, gaze full of meaning Alec couldn't decipher, then just as quickly back to Consul Penhallow, who met his polite smile with one of her own.

It dawned on Alec that they were talking like this was something that might actually happen, like he might actually marry Magnus. It wouldn't happen, of course. He knew the Clave would never let him marry a man, politics or not. They would find some reason to object to Magnus, and the Downworld would choose someone else—a woman—for him to marry. And even though that was what he'd spent the last several months expecting, what he'd chosen, the idea was suddenly alien and wrong.

Or, he realized, the Downworlders might find some reason to object to him. The brief flicker of hope that thought sparked died instantly when he realized that meant the Clave would choose another Shadowhunter to marry Magnus. That didn’t even bear thinking about.

He was pulled from his racing thoughts by his mother's hand on his arm. He must have missed the closing of the meeting, because the Downworld representatives were filing out of the room. Alec tried to catch Magnus's eye, but he seemed engrossed in a quiet yet intense conversation with the vampire.

“We’ll fix this,” Maryse promised him in a low voice. “I'm sure you understand now why your father and I were so concerned when you volunteered. But I'll talk to Consul Penhallow. I'll talk to the whole Council. No one is going to make you marry that—” her face twisted in disgust “—that warlock.”

“There's nothing to fix,” Alec replied evenly. “The Downworlders chose their representative just like the Clave did, and maybe Magnus isn't who any of us expected, but you don't have to make a scene just because you were expecting a woman.”

Maryse stared at him. “I was expecting a werewolf. Maybe a seelie. I wasn't expecting a warlock. I wasn't expecting Magnus Bane.”

For the first time, it occurred to Alec that his parents must know Magnus, at least in passing. According to the Clave’s file, he’d been High Warlock of Brooklyn the entire time Robert and Maryse had been Heads of the New York Institute, which would have given them ample opportunity to run into each other.

“What do you have against Magnus?” Alec regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Magnus Bane has something of reputation,” Robert said, stepping up to stand beside his wife. It was the first time in the years since they’d been recalled to Alicante that Alec had seen his parents present such a united front. “Even for a warlock, he’s a bit of a lothario. Alec, there is so much you don’t know about him.”

“All of which,” Consul Penhallow interrupted with a tight smile, “the Council will take into consideration during the vetting process.”

Alec’s breath caught in his throat. That almost sounded like…

“You can’t honestly be considering this,” Maryse said, echoing Alec’s thoughts, if not the sentiment behind them.

“There will be plenty of time for you to make your objections in an official capacity when we return to Alicante,” Consul Penhallow told her. “Right now, I need to speak with Alec.”

It was a clear dismissal, and although Maryse looked like she wanted to argue, she turned and stalked from the room, Robert trailing after her.

Alec turned to the Consul and found himself caught in Jia Penhallow’s unwavering gaze. Despite being more than half a foot shorter than he was, she had the uncanny ability to make Alec feel small in a way that few other people could.

“What are your thoughts on this, Mr. Lightwood?” the Consul asked.

It was a good question, and not one he was in any way prepared to answer. Alec chose his words carefully. “My reasons for volunteering for this union remain unchanged, Consul. Who the Downworlders choose to represent their end has never factored into it.” He was starting to think that maybe it should have.

Consul Penhallow’s mouth twitched in what Alec though might have been amusement. “Good answer, but not what I was getting at. The Council needs to vet the Downworld’s choice. Magnus Bane is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. You’ve been running the New York Institute for over three years. Surely, you must have some opinions on the man.”

Alec didn’t know whether he was more surprised that Consul Penhallow truly seemed to think the Council would seriously consider him and Magnus getting married (and, oh, he could not think about that right now), or that she’d referred to him running the Institute. She, along with the rest of the Council, usually at least pretended like his parents still ran things here.

“I, uh.” He faked a cough to give himself a few more seconds to formulate a coherent response. “I only met Mr. Bane recently, but I’ve worked with him a couple times, and I found him to be—” fascinating, beautiful, breathtaking “—very easy to work with.”

Consul Penhallow’s face remained impassive save for her eyebrows, which raised nearly to her hairline. “I’ve heard Magnus Bane described in many ways by many people,” she told him, “but I believe this is the first time I’ve ever heard him described as easy to work with.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Alec said with a shrug.

Consul Penhallow gave him a long look. “It’s not often I find myself agreeing with a Downworlder, but perhaps the Seelie Queen had a point.”

With great effort, Alec managed to force the question he’d been wanting to ask past the cacophony of butterflies in his stomach. “Do you think there’s really a chance the Council might approve Magnus?”

“I don’t know,” Consul Penhallow said. “It’s certainly an unconventional match, and there are plenty of people who will oppose it for that reason alone, but Magnus Bane is surprisingly well-respected among Downworlders, which makes him a particularly good choice symbolically. He’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn and you’re Acting Head of the New York Institute, which has a certain symmetry. And from everything I’ve seen, you’re at least as stubborn as your mother, which makes you less likely than most to be influenced or corrupted by someone like Bane.” She gave him a resigned shrug. “It’s really a shame neither of you is a woman, or I think even a few skeptics of this whole endeavor might be convinced.”

Alec didn’t know how to respond to any of that—wasn’t, in all honesty, sure he remembered how to breathe properly—so he simply nodded.

“Thank you for your input,” Consul Penhallow said. “I’ll be sure to relay it to the rest of the Council. We’ll send you a fire message when we’ve made our decision.”

And with that, Alec was left alone in the empty room. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, trying to pull his thoughts into some kind of coherent order, but the click of approaching heels snapped him out of it.

He looked up, expecting his mother had returned to give him another lecture on what a terrible idea this was, but it was Izzy who stepped into the room, followed by Jace.

“Alec, what happened?” Izzy asked. “Mom came out of that meeting looking like she was about to stab someone.”

“She, uh.” He swallowed down what he was sure was the beginning of a hysterical laugh. If he let it out, he thought he might never stop. “She doesn't approve of who the Downworlders want me to marry.”

“Whoever they chose, she can't be as bad as all that,” Jace said. “Not unless you think they're trying to sabotage the Accords.”

“Do you approve, Alec?” Izzy wanted to know.

“I don't think it's sabotage,” Alec answered, ignoring his sister's question. He wasn't even sure he knew the answer.

He liked Magnus, so of course he didn't disapprove the way his parents did. But he'd volunteered for this marriage assuming whoever the Downworlders choose, she'd be entirely the wrong gender for attraction to even enter into it. Instead, they'd chosen Magnus, a man Alec hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since they met. And he'd let himself think about Magnus, because Magnus could never be anything more to him than a seductive fantasy, not when he was about to get married. Except, now he was maybe marrying Magnus, and he didn't know what to do with that at all.

“Then what is it?” Jace asked, and Alec knew he was as much asking what had Alec in a state of near panic as he was about Maryse's reaction. Alec could only imagine what Jace was probably feeling through their parabatai bond right now.

“Magnus,” Alec said, and he was proud of how steady his voice sounded. “The Downworlders want me to marry Magnus.”

Jace and Izzy exchanged a look, then Izzy asked cautiously, “Do you want to tell us about it?”

“No.” That, at least, Alec had a definitive answer for.

“Cool,” Jace said, pushing himself off the wall he'd been leaning against. “Then you can come spar with me.”

“Oh, Alec gets an invitation to spar, but not me, huh?” Izzy said.

Jace flashed her his signature cocky grin. “I just thought getting knocked on his ass a few times might distract Alec from his problems, but you're welcome to come get knocked on your ass, too.”

And just like that, Alec's world made sense again, at least this tiny part of it.

“Yeah, we'll see if you're still smirking like that when I wipe the floor with you,” Alec said, falling comfortably into the familiar banter as he followed Jace toward the training room.

“Please,” Izzy scoffed. “You know I'm going to kick both your asses.”

Cocktail night that week was moved to Magnus’s loft, nominally because Catarina needed to be somewhere quiet enough she’d hear her phone if whoever was watching Madzie needed to get in touch with her, but Magnus suspected it was really because his friends wanted to lecture him about making questionable life choices, and were just kind enough not to do so in public. He’d already gotten an earful from Raphael after the meeting with the Clave.

“I’m more shocked that everyone went along with it than anything else,” Catarina said after Magnus finished giving her a very abbreviated recap of how, exactly, he’d come to be tentatively engaged to a Shadowhunter.

“I foolishly assumed he had a good reason,” Raphael told her. “In retrospect, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I had a good reason,” Magnus objected.

“‘He has pretty eyes and I had three glasses of whiskey’ is not a good reason.”

Magnus glared at him. “I never said anything about Alexander’s eyes.”

Magnus would, he was sure, have done a better job of defending himself if his wards hadn’t alerted him to the arrival of another person. The only person, in fact, who currently had access to pass through Magnus’s wards without express invitation, precisely because he never, ever showed up unannounced. At least he never had before.

“What,” Ragnor’s voice rang through the loft, “is this absolute nonsense I hear about you marrying a Lightwood?”

Magnus blinked at him in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s cocktail night,” Ragnor answered, reaching into Magnus’s liquor cabinet to retrieve the bottle of Laphroaig he knew would be there. “And I heard through the grapevine that you could use your friends’ support at the moment. As well as a bit of gentle mockery.”

“I did not say gentle,” Raphael protested.

Glass of scotch in hand, Ragnor settled onto the chair across from Magnus. “I've heard Raphael's version of events. Would you care to give me yours?”

“Don't listen to Raphael,” Magnus said. “It had nothing to do with Alexander's pretty eyes.”

Ragnor glanced at Catarina. “How many drinks has he had?”

“Just the one since I got here.”

“I'm not drunk,” Magnus told them irritably. “I'm just thinking.”

“It's about time you tried that,” Raphael said.

Magnus ignored him. “I sincerely doubt the Clave's prejudices will allow them to even consider a marriage between two men, but if they're serious about this marriage of politics, which they appear to be, then they’re going to want to reject me in the least insulting way possible.”

“Do Shadowhunters even know how to not be insulting when talking to a Downworlder?” Catarina wondered.

“No,” Magnus said. “Which means it will probably take them a few days to come up with something, and that means I have time.”

“Time for what, exactly?” asked Ragnor.

“To convince Alexander that he doesn't want to go through with this marriage.”

There were a couple beats of silence before Raphael said, “I take it back. Stop thinking. You're doing it wrong.”

“What if you're wrong?” Catarina asked. “The Clave is already overlooking their prejudices insisting one of their own marry a Downworlder. What if this is important enough to them that they overlook other prejudices, as well? Then you'll be stuck trying to find a way out of this without jeopardizing the Accords.”

“Even if I'm wrong about the Clave, there's still the Lightwoods to consider. There's no way Maryse Lightwood is letting me marry her son.”

“Just so I'm clear on the plan,” Ragnor said, “you decided on the spur of the moment to volunteer to marry a man with pretty eyes so you would have time to convince him not to get married at all?”

“Well, it sounds ridiculous when you say it like that,” Magnus said. “But in my defense, I was three drinks in when I came up with this plan.” He sighed. “And he looked so sad and so scared underneath it all, and I couldn't just let it happen.”

“Magnus,” Ragnor said softly. It was his serious and concerned voice. Magnus was not prepared for Ragnor to be serious and concerned. “Are you in love with this nephilim?”

Magnus gave him a sharp look. “Don't be ridiculous. I've met him a grand total of three times.” He stared down into the dregs of his old fashioned. “I think maybe I could love him, though.”

Ragnor sighed. “You certainly do know how to make things difficult for yourself, old friend.”

“Have you thought about what you're going to say to him?” Raphael asked, and Magnus didn't know whether to be grateful or annoyed that Raphael finally had non-insult-based input.

“I’ve thought of a number of things to say to him, none of them actually helpful.”

“So, you decided to spend your time sitting at home drinking, instead?” Catarina asked.

Magnus glared at her, and she held up a placating hand. “Just trying to understand the plan, here.”

Magnus was saved from having to try to explain the plan that he didn’t actually have by the arrival of a fire message.

“Ah,” he said, “someone must require the assistance of the High Warlock. Since, you know, some people actually appreciate me and don’t spend their time mocking my misery.”

“Their loss,” Raphael muttered.

“There’s no need to be bitter just because some of us…” Magnus trailed off as he read the contents of the message.

Something must have shown on his face, because all three of his friends went from relaxed to alert in less than a heartbeat.

“What is it?” Catarina asked. “Another disappearance?”

Magnus shook his head. “It’s from the Spiral Council,” he answered faintly. “The Clave sent word that they’ve finished their vetting process. They have no objections to me.”

It made Magnus feel only slightly better that his friends all looked as stunned as he felt.

The shocked silence was broken by the loud ringing of electronic wind chimes.

“That’s my babysitter,” Catarina said, reaching for her phone. “I’m sorry, Magnus, but I have to go.”

“Go,” he told her. “Take care of Madzie. I’ll be fine.”

Catarina gave him an apologetic smile and a quick hug before rushing out the door.

“Well,” Ragnor said with forced cheer, “I think this calls for another round of drinks, don’t you?”

“Just hand me the bottle,” Magnus said.

“Before you get too much farther into your drunken binge,” Raphael said, “there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Talk fast,” Magnus told him, taking a swig of bourbon straight from the bottle to emphasize his point.

“The missing warlocks you’ve been looking for,” Raphael said. “I think there might be a few night children missing, too.”

“Might be?” Magnus asked, setting the bottle down.

Raphael shook his head. “You know how Camille is. I asked her about a couple people I haven’t seen around lately, and she told me she’s sure they’re around somewhere.”

“Which could mean she’s actually seen them recently,” Magnus said, “or that she has them off doing something for her.

“Or that they actually are missing, and she just doesn’t care,” Raphael finished the thought.

Magnus glared at the bottle he’d set on the table. He was going to have to talk to Camille about this. He really didn’t want to talk to Camille. He wanted even less to do it sober, but this required his actual attention.

He turned his glare on Raphael. “I was really looking forward to getting exceptionally drunk, you know.”

Raphael put a hand on his shoulder. “I was really looking forward to you pulling your head out of your ass and deciding a pretty-eyed Shadowhunter wasn’t worth all this trouble. I guess we can be disappointed together.”

Alec was not panicking. He was letting a six-year-old teach him how to fold a paper frog (a little awkward, since she was using magic to do it, and he wasn’t) and ignoring the text his mother had sent him (which promised a much, much longer conversation in person) and not thinking at all about the fact that Clave really did want him to marry Magnus (which was almost everything he’d ever wanted except not at all, oh god) and he was. Not. Panicking.

“No, like this,” Madzie said, unfolding and refolding her paper.

Alec tried again. His paper did not look like a frog. Maybe a little like one of those tiny, smush-faced dogs, if he tilted his head, but not a frog. He was not panicking.

They both turned at the sound of a portal opening, and Madzie jumped to her feet to greet Catarina with a hug. It was hard to believe she was the same timid girl Alec had met only a week ago.

“Thanks for coming back early,” Alec said. “I hope I didn’t ruin your night. I just— Something came up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Catarina told him, ruffling Madzie’s hair. “Nurse, remember? I know what it’s like to have something unexpected come up that needs your immediate attention.”

“Right.” Alec turned to Madzie. “I’m sorry I can’t stay and play longer, but I’ll practice my frogs so I can make better ones next time.”

“Okay,” Madzie agreed. “And if you make bad frogs even after you practice, I can share my frogs.”

“That’s very generous of you,” Alec told her, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch.

“You want a portal back to the Institute?” Catarina offered.

Alec shook his head. “Thanks, but I could use the walk.”

Putting off the conversation his mother was sure to expect as soon as he arrived sounded like a fantastic idea. Along with the conversation Izzy was no doubt planning to spring on him. Alec loved his family more than anything, but sometimes they were more than he could handle, and this thing with Magnus… It was confusing enough without his mother and sister in the middle of it.

“Hey,” Alec said, pausing with his jacket halfway on as something occurred to him. “You know Magnus, right? Like, personally?”

Catarina’s expression was carefully neutral when she answered, “Magnus is one of my oldest and dearest friends.”

“Right,” Alec said, finally remembering to pull the jacket over his other arm. “Okay. I don’t know if he mentioned— Or maybe you just heard? But we’re sort of—”

“I was having drinks with Magnus when you texted me,” Catarina interrupted him. “I take it you got a similar message to the one he received this evening?”

“Yes,” Alec said, letting out a relieved breath. He didn’t know why finding the words to talk about this was so difficult, but he was glad he didn’t have to explain the entire situation. “And I was thinking it might be a good idea for me and Magnus to talk. Not through official channels. But it would be rude to just show up at his loft, and a fire message seems a little too impersonal, but I was thinking maybe you could give him my number and tell him he can call if he wants to, you know, talk. About things.”

Alec winced internally. That was a whole lot of rambling, but he thought it got the point across, at least.

Catarina stared at him for a long moment, then held out her hand. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?” Alec asked, handing over his phone anyway.

“So I can give you Magnus’s number,” she said, opening his contacts. “I love Magnus dearly, and I like you a whole lot better than I do most Shadowhunters, but I am not going to pass messages for the two of you.” She handed him his phone.

“Thank you,” he said, pocketing the phone.

As soon as he was outside, Alec texted Jace.

On my way back to the Institute. If you can find an important and time-sensitive mission that needs my attention before I get there, I will owe you a lot.

Jace answered immediately. How much is a lot? Then, seconds later, JK, I’ve got you, buddy. We’ve actually got one of those already. I’ll tell Iz to get ready, and we can head out when you get back.

Thank you, Alec wrote back. You are the best parabatai.

He was putting his phone away when he received a final message from Jace. I know.

The prospect of spending the rest of the night on an actual mission instead of dancing around conversations he wasn’t even ready to think about, let alone actually have cheered Alec considerably, and he made it back to the Institute in much less time than he’d originally planned.

Jace met him at the entrance. “Izzy’s still getting dressed, but if you can get her to hurry, we can get out of here before Maryse gets off her call to Alicante.”

“Do you know what the call is about?” Alec wanted to know.

“No idea, but she closed herself up in the office to take it.”

As curious as he was about what his mother was up to, Alec didn’t want to risk actually having to talk to her right now. Thankfully, Izzy didn’t need much hurrying, as she met him in the hallway halfway between her room and the ops center.

“Really?” Alec couldn’t help asking as he took in the white wig slung over Izzy’s hand.

“Don’t change the subject,” Izzy said. “And anyway, demons dig blondes.”

“That’s white, and you can’t change the subject at the beginning of a conversation.”

“Glad you agree,” Izzy said, twirling the wig around one finger. “Mom told me you heard back from the Clave.”

“She told you,” Alec repeated.

“Okay,” Izzy admitted, “I might have been in the room when she was telling Consul Penhallow exactly what a terrible idea this is, but Alec,” she grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop, “I want to know what you think about it.”

“I think we have a mission,” he said shaking off her hand and striding into the ops center. “Jace, we’re ready.”

“Nice choice, Izzy,” Jace commented, taking in her outfit. “Demons dig blondes.”

“Told you,” Izzy said smugly.

“Am I the only person who knows the difference between blonde and white?” Alec wondered aloud.

“All right, guys,” Jace began. “For some reason, our demon friends are killing mundanes and draining their blood.”

“Why do they want blood?” Alec asked. “Wait, do you think these could be the same demons who are taking warlocks? Or are we dealing with multiple hordes of hunting demons?”

“If they are the same demons, the MO is totally different,” Jace said, walking to the weapons rack and pulling out seraph blades for each of them. “These demons are leaving drained mundane bodies lying around left and right.”

“There must be something special about the blood,” Izzy guessed, taking one of the blades.

“What could be special about mundane blood?” Alec wondered.

“You get me a sample, and I’ll tell you exactly what they’re looking for,” Izzy promised.

Alec supposed it was as good a place to start as any.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #fanfic

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kurokoros · 6 years ago

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can’t keep my (hands to myself) | sp

Title: can’t keep my (hands to myself)

Rated: T? (suggestive themes at the end)

Words: 3658

Pairing: Sweet Pea x reader

Summary: Prompt: You’re afraid you’ll lose me in big crowds so you hold my hand but now you hold my hand around like 5 people and I’m getting suspicious. AKA: five times Sweet Pea holds your hand and the one time you hold his first.

I don’t know what this is. It got angsty. I’m confused and have a fever. Let me know if you want a more coherent second part that would be more adult. Or if you want a series about characters being unable to keep their hands to themselves.

The first time it happens you don’t think anything of it.

It’s the Serpents’ first day at Riverdale High and everything is tense, more so than usual. Fangs is abnormally jumpy and Sweet Pea is angrier than normal, restless and ready to pick a fight with anyone who so much as breathes in his direction, much to your chagrin. And things only get worse as the day goes on.

The hallways of Riverdale High are already crowded by the time the Serpents get there, swelling with a mixture of hostility and restless energy at the arrival of the Southside students. More than one fight breaks out before classes even begin, the Bulldogs taunting and the Serpents quick to strike back. Sweet Pea is the worst of them, easy to rile up and loyal to a fault. He’s right there, anytime someone even looks at one of the Serpents the wrong way, and you would roll your eyes if you weren’t mildly overwhelmed by the aggressive stares from the Northside students.

It’s worse than Southside High, if you’re being honest, because while Serpents and Ghoulies were always at each others’ throats there was always a kind of understanding between the groups. The Ghoulies had a space and the Serpents had there’s and most of the time everyone respected that. It would only cause bigger problems if people didn’t.

But the Serpents don’t have a place at Riverdale High, not yet, and that becomes apparent very early on between the hostile looks and whispered comments too loud to be unintentional. Everyone is a little on edge because of it, and that causes everyone to start forming smaller groups in some strange kind of buddy system.

Because your schedules are nearly identical, you end up with Sweet Pea. It should be fine. The two of you have been friends for a while now, you get along perfectly well, and while Sweet Pea is a hothead, he always means well.

And it wouldn’t be a problem except Sweet Pea somehow gets it in his head that he’s going to lose you in the crowded hallways. Sweet Pea is tall, at least a foot taller than you, and because of this, you spend the short walk to your first period English class with him glancing over his shoulder every five seconds to make sure you’re still there. It causes several near accidents and a brief altercation with some football jock before you manage to pull him away.

It continues like that for most of the day, you trailing slightly behind him and Sweet Pea constantly checking to make sure you hadn’t suddenly disappeared on him. The only difference is that by then people have learned to move around him.

It’s not until the two of you are headed for your history class in the afternoon that Sweet Pea becomes fed up with this arraignment. He huffs and reaches back to grab you by the hand, yanking you up against his side. “Keep up, Short Stuff. We don’t have all day.” While he sounds annoyed, you know him well enough to hear the teasing edge to his words.

You roll your eyes. “We can’t all be giraffes, Sweet Pea,” you snap back. You may be short, but that doesn’t make you incapable of taking care of yourself.

“Am I going to have to buy one of those child leashes for you?” He laces your fingers together, cocking his head to the side as he glances down at you, quirking a brow.

“Only if you want to lose your hand.”

Sweet Pea grins, fingers squeezing around yours. “Come on, Feisty.”

The second time it happens, you still don’t think anything of it.

The Wyrm is as crowded as ever on a Friday night, packed to capacity with Serpents both young and old. The music is loud and some of the younger Serpents are already way beyond tipsy, much to your amusement. Usually, you’d be working the bar tonight with Toni, but somehow you both scored the night off, Hog Eye being unusually generous.

More likely is that Fangs and Sweet Pea bribed him, but if they did they haven’t said a word about it. Regardless, you plan to enjoy the night off. Everyone has been stressed in the weeks since the schools merged, and things have become more and more tense on the Southside, so it’s nice to see everyone finally relaxing for once.

You peer around the packed room, squinting to see a flash of bubble-gum pink against all the leather and dark hair, but the room is too dark to see much of anything at all. Huffing, you press up on your toes, looking instead for Sweet Pea’s towering frame, knowing that he’s infinitely easier to find than Toni.

At least hypothetically he should be. Your frown only deepens when you don’t see your mountain of a friend anywhere in the room, a frustrated groan building in your throat. It really shouldn’t be this difficult to spot Sweet Pea. He’s over six feet and is one of the tallest Serpents in the room. He shouldn’t be able to hide like this.

“Boo,” a low voice whispers in your ear, a pair of hands grabbing you by the shoulders. You yelp, about to swing at whoever’s grabbed you but a familiar, rough baritone chuckle reaches your ears first, his laughter vibrating through you both, and you roll your eyes in annoyance. Somehow, he always manages to find you first.

Sweet Pea squeezes your shoulders, big hands running down your arms to your elbows, palms warm against your bare skin. His touch is light and it tickles and if you lean into him it’s only because of the two shots you’ve already taken tonight.

You consider punching him anyway for scaring you, but the smile on his face when you turn around whisks the thought away.

He peers down at you, eyes crinkled at the corners from how wide his grin is, a lightness to his features that you don’t often get to see anymore. He looks absolutely elated, comfortable in his skin, and there’s no trace of the deep-set anger in his eyes that just won’t seem to wash away most days. It’s been awhile since you’ve seen him this open and happy. The last few weeks have been difficult for everyone, but especially for Sweet Pea.

He’s always been protective of the Serpents, of his family, and he’s done everything to put a target on his own back at Riverdale High in order to keep it off everyone else. You aren’t sure if he’s brave or reckless because of it, but you’ve always thought he was a little bit of both.

You think that that smile on his face might be the epitome of joy and chalk it up to the alcohol.

“Asshole,” you call him, rolling your eyes as his hands drop from your arms, “don’t scare me like that!”

His grin only widens at your irritated expression, expression impish, and a smile tugs at your own lips before you can stop it. “Come on.” His reaches for you easily, fingers tangling with yours as he gives you a little tug in the opposite direction you were previously looking. “Toni and Fangs are waiting.”

The third time it really happens, you don’t notice. But Toni Does.

You’re used to Sweet Pea grabbing your hand and pulling you along behind him at this point. It’s just become second nature. Anytime you’re in a crowd, Sweet Pea will lace his fingers through yours, keeping you close to his side so you don’t get swept away. At Riverdale High. At the Whyte Wyrm. Down at the Quarry with the other Serpents milling around you. It’s nothing unusual at this point. It’s just how the two of you are.

So really, you just don’t notice when his fingers slip through yours when you’re at the Drive-In with Toni and Fangs.

The Drive-In is playing some eighties-night marathon that Fangs had begged you all to watch with him, something you were suckered into with his puppy-dog eyes. Toni fell for the eyes too, and either Sweet Pea was bribed or just decided he didn’t want to be alone on a Saturday night. Regardless, somehow you all ended up curled up in the bed of his pickup with a multitude of blankets and pillows for everyone to use.

When he reaches down and hoists you onto the truck with one hand, he doesn’t let go.

And that’s the end of it. Your hands should slip away from each other, but they don’t. And you don’t notice. You end up squeezed between Toni and Sweet Pea with your laced fingers resting on your lap, his thumb sweeping across the back of your hand. You lean into his side a little more than usual, the early March air still chilly, and his grip around you tightens just a fraction.

They stay linked like that until the credits of the first film begin to roll and Fangs gets restless, badgering Sweet Pea until the other by agrees to go on a quick snack run with him. Sweet Pea rolls his eyes and makes a snarky remark about Fangs eating his candy too quickly, and you and Toni both snicker, knowing how Sweet Pea has just as big of a sweet tooth as Fangs.

His hands slips from yours and your fingers go cold.

Toni smirks as soon as the boys disappear from sight, one brow quirked at you expectantly, expression mischievous. “So,” she drawls, playing with a piece of popcorn and trying to appear casual, “what’s going on between you and Sweet Pea?”

Rolling your eyes, you level her with a pointed look, but her smile only widens. “As I’ve told you, there’s nothing going on between me and Sweet Pea.” It’s a conversation you’ve had with her a million times before. No matter how much you deny that there’s anything between you and Sweet Pea, Toni just won’t seem to believe it.

Her smirk widens like she’s won. “Then why exactly were you two holding hands just now?”

Automatically, you go to respond, brows furrowing because you know exactly why Sweet Pea would hold your hand. Then you stop. Because you weren’t in a crowd of people this time. It was just Fangs and Toni and there was no reason for him to be keeping you close like that. There’s no way he could have lost you in a crowd.

You purse your lips, trying not to blush, and Toni snickers. The boys come back before you can say anything else and Sweet Pea settles down beside you once more, a bag of gummy worms in one hand. His side is pressed flush against yours and the heat of his body is something you’re suddenly all too aware of.

The next movie starts to play and Sweet Pea’s hand curls around yours.

After that, you don’t stop noticing it.

Sweet Pea holds your hand more than you initially realized. It’s no longer just at school in between classes when the hallways are packed with students or just at the Wyrm on a crowded Friday night. No, somehow it’s extended to when he walks you home after your shift at the bar and movie nights on Fangs’ couch and under the booth while you’re at Pop’s with friends, all without you even realizing it.

It’s strange, how perfectly his hand fits into yours, how without realizing it you’ve begun to relax into his touch completely, unaware that you were searching for it until his hand was completely enveloping yours.

Toni and Fangs have both noticed it at this point, but neither have said anything since that night at the Drive-In and you aren’t sure quite what to make of that. They keep giving you these sly looks each time they catch you and Sweet Pea holding hands, and each time your face flushes, like you’re getting caught doing something wrong.

It’s gotten to the point where the two of you hold hands more often than not, and at this point you’re almost painfully aware of that fact. Sweet Pea will just grab your hand at times and it’s like you can’t breathe, or his thumb will brush against your thigh as you hold your clasped hands in your lap and it’ll leave a burning trail of heat along your skin, a shiver running down your spine. Every little touch makes you ache for something that you aren’t sure you want to put a name to.

But Sweet Pea doesn’t talk about it and neither do you and Toni and Fangs keep on grinning like they know something you don’t.

You’re inclined to think that maybe they do.

Sweet Pea sighs. “Why are we here so early again?” he complains, glancing down at you, an annoyed expression on his face. Despite his protests, his grip only tightens around your hand as he allows you to tug him through the school towards the auditorium, the musical bound to start in less than twenty minutes. He frowns at a group of parents who send the two of you disapproving looks. “Actually, why are we here at all?” he rephrases, keeping close to your side as the two of you step in line.

“To support Toni and Fangs,” you remind him breezily, trying not to smile. Despite his griping, Sweet Pea is nothing but talk. He can complain all he wants, but you both know he would be here with or without you. Sweet Pea cares about Toni and Fangs way too much to miss out on something so important to them.

He groans low in the back of his throat, way too close you your ear, and you try not to shiver. “I don’t like musicals.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh come on, Sweets.” You tug at his hand, absentmindedly playing with the rings on his fingers, ones you’ve become well-acquainted with since the two of you started doing whatever this is. Please, for me? is almost what you say next, but you swallow it back, not willing to go there. “It’ll be fun,” you say instead.

For a moment he simply stares down at you as you pause just outside of the theater, dark eyes locking with yours as you twist one of the rings around his finger, trying to ignore the way he inhales sharply at the small action.

His shoulders slacken and he shakes his head, grinning as you pull him into the dark auditorium.

Things build and build until they don’t.

Midge Klump dies and Fangs is accused of murder and then Fangs is shot and all of Riverdale goes to hell. It all happens so quickly and yet not fast enough, everything in excruciating detail, yet you’re powerless to stop it. Everything is chaos. People are screaming. A gunshot rings in your ears. You’re lost in the shuffle of bodies swarming the streets.

An unfamiliar ache of fear erupts in your chest when you realize you’re alone. Your heart lurches, throat constricting in panic, and with wild eyes you look around the streets, hoping to catch a glimpse of another Serpent, a familiar face.

A familiar voice shouts your name and you whip around, the panic uncoiling in your chest as you see him. “Sweets,” you breathe back.

His wild gaze meets yours, eyes searching your own for something you’re not quite sure of, his hands hovering over your shoulders, clenching and unclenching like he doesn’t know where to touch you. Finally, he seems to find what he’s looking for. His arms snake around your frame, pulling you tight to his chest.

You grip him back just as tightly, hands fisting in his leather jacket as he buries his face against your hair. “I’ve got you, Baby,” he murmurs, voice almost swallowed by the screaming all around you. “I’ve got you.”

Somehow you end up back at the Wyrm in one of the bathrooms. You’re on the counter with Sweet Pea standing between your spread legs and there’s something electric between the two of you, but you’re shaking and he’s shaking and his fingers slip through yours like it’s natural, and at this point you think it must be. At this point you hold hands more often than you don’t. At this point you’ve realized you don’t want to let go. There’s blood on his hands and they stain yours as his fingers lace through them, anchoring the two of you together, and it’s enough.

You clean the blood off his hands with a wet cloth, fighting to keep your hands steady. You’re safe. He’s safe. But Fangs was shot and half of the Serpents are still missing and it feels like everything in this whole damn town is crumbling around you.

Releasing one of his hands as you wipe the blood clean, his fingers find yours in the dim light of the bathroom, gripping you so tight it almost hurts, but he needs this and you need it too. “Why do you do that?” you ask before you can stop yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to regret it.

His eyes snap from your connected hands to your face, his brows furrowing. “Do what?” he asks, low and deep and rough, more fragile than you’ve ever heard him before.

Silently, you wipe more blood off his hands. He releases you, every so often, allowing you to shift his hands in your grip to wipe the blood from his palm, from under his nails. Neither of you can stay away for long, something about the skin on skin contact making your chest settle.

“Hold my hand,” is what you finally say.

Sweet Pea opens his mouth but doesn’t answer for a long time, just watches as you dab at a split in his knuckles that reopened sometime during the night. His hands are still trembling, but neither of you mention it. There’s a lot you don’t talk about. Finally, he exhales, a quivering little thing, and leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he murmurs, fingers tightening around yours.

And somehow that’s enough.

+1.

Things have changed since Riot Night.

It’s been nearly three weeks and but it feels like several lifetimes apart. Fangs is alive. Jughead is alive. But you lost the Wyrm and you lost Sunnyside. And you think you lost a part of yourself that night too, while you and Sweet Pea were in that bathroom. And you know he lost pieces of himself too. Things changed. Maybe you got scared or maybe he did, or maybe it was both of you, but things changed.

You never realized how cold you were without him, how empty your hand feels without his fingers tangled up with yours, his rings cold against your skin. You’ve been reaching for him lately, without even noticing, hand searching for his, only he isn’t there.

He said he was afraid of losing you, but you think maybe you should’ve been the one who was scared. Sweet Pea has always been detached, brave and reckless and too proud to think he needs anyone until he’s already begun to lose them. And you? You’ve always just been too blind to see what’s right there until it’s gone.

But you and the rest of the Serpents build a new home by Sweetwater River, one made up of cheap tents and scavenged materials and a type of raw anger that makes the Serpents strong even though the Southside is gone. Only it doesn’t feel like home with Sweet Pea so close but still so far away.

He’s with Fangs and Jughead, the three of them smiling, big wide grins that make your heart squeeze in your chest. One of them was shot. One of them was beaten. And the third a broken boy barely put back together. You can still feel the blood on your skin and the ghost of his breath on your neck from that night, a whispered word of I’vegotyouI’vegotyouI’vegotyou and your chest aches. Sweet Pea’s eyes meet yours over Fangs’ head and something in his expression changes. There’s fear there, and loss, and something you don’t want to put a name too.

Something in you snaps and comes back together, a tide washing in.

I’vegotyouI’vegotyouI’vegotyou.

Jughead becomes Serpent King. They lost the Southside, but not their spirits, and Sweet Pea slides up beside you, arm pressing flush against yours and leaving a pleasant warmth rushing through you. You lean into him and it’s enough.

That night he hovers over you, breathing your name against your skin, mouth on your neck, your cheek, your chin, anywhere he can reach. Sweet Pea lets out a sound halfway between a gasp and a laugh against your throat, something soft and shaky—nervous—and you can’t help it when you keen, fingers quivering against his shoulders as his breath fans over your neck, warm against your skin. His hand curls around your bare hip and squeezes.

He doesn’t say it and neither do you, but your hand finds his for the first time in weeks, fingers knotting with his as he presses his weight against you, bare chest meeting yours. He whispers your name again, and it sends a chill through you, enough to make you shiver, but he only pulls you closer, until there’s no space left between you. His thumb bushes against you hip as you rocks against him, holding you steady, and his hand squeezes around yours.

Your bones hum.

You whisper his name back to him and he twitches above you, shuddering and groaning low in his throat before sighing as his forehead drops onto your shoulder. His one arm slips around your back as he pulls you into a soft embrace, breathing heavily. He hovers over you, letting you wrap herself around him, curling into his chest and burying yourself inside.

#riverdale #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x reader #riverdaledrabbles

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jaehyun-eclipsed · 5 years ago

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Before I Met You | Three

Updates: Sundays and Thursdays, 8 PM EST

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas…) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Warnings: Some swearing

Before I Met You Masterlist

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Winter Ball seemed like a dream. In a matter of a few hours, my expectations for how life could occur were shattered. How often is it that you have a fantasy about a guy you like that actually comes true? Lucas inadvertently raised my bar for how my love life was going to go for the rest of my life. He proved to me that the things in the movies really can happen. And unfortunately, I don’t think that’s the best way to go about life because it presents too many opportunities to end up disappointed.

For several days, concentrating in class was difficult, to say the least. My mind was constantly replaying the events from the weekend, trying to decipher whether or not I had a real chance with the guy. My next hope was to go to prom with him. I hadn’t had a date the year before and I really wanted to have that experience for my senior year. But in the back of my mind, I was afraid that I would have to ask him myself. I suppose that wasn’t a horrible idea, but since I had never asked anyone out and, like everyone else, I feared rejection and was terrified to do it. So for the next few weeks, in addition to preparing for May exams and waiting for college acceptances, I tried to increase my interactions with Lucas. I frequently texted him new songs to listen to, spent time in the senior parking lot with him, and talked to him more in our volunteer club.

Valentine’s Day was on Saturday and various clubs had been advertising their Valentine-gram fundraisers to send to friends, significant others, and crushes. You had the option of sending messages with candy or flowers. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to receive one from Lucas after the dance, but I made sure I didn’t get my hopes up on the Friday before when all of the Valentines were being delivered during my physics class. It was a good thing because I ended up not receiving anything anyway. However, to my surprise, Doyoung texted me with news of a different experience.

Doyoung [1:25 PM] I think Heejin likes me

My forehead creases in confusion. What is he talking about? I already knew that.

Me [1:26 PM] What do you mean?

A minute later, I receive a picture of the inside of a Valentine’s Day card filled with bubbly writing.

Doyoung,

So I thought the card was kinda cute, but also kinda creepy but anyway Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thanks for dancing with me at Winter Ball and not letting my clumsy-self fall to my death!

Enjoy (or try to) the rest of senior year! Hope we get to hang out soon, don’t be a stranger. Call me up sometime, like maybe this weekend if you have nothing going on.

♥, Heejin (xxx-xxx-xxxx)

I cover my mouth in an effort to keep myself from laughing out loud. My physics teacher was currently going over a PowerPoint with the lights off. Laughing would have been inappropriate.

I told you!

Me [1:30 PM] I told you she did!

Doyoung [1:30 PM] When?!

Me [1:31 PM] A couple weeks ago, in the car after winter ball because she danced with you!

Doyoung [1:32 PM] No you didn’t!

Me [1:33 PM] Yes, I did! I even told you again when we were sitting in biology the following Monday!

Doyoung [1:34 PM] I don’t remember that

I roll my eyes. No one listens to me. I pause, a realization hitting me. Wait a second… If Heejin pulled Doyoung to dance and she likes Doyoung… Lucas pulled me to dance – does that mean…? That must mean Lucas likes me too!

Right?

Does the transitive property work here?

“Which room are you in?” Doyoung asks me.

“A3, I think. You?”

“Damn, A1.”

This evening, we were required to give a presentation in front of our classmates about the various service and volunteer hours we had been completing over the past two years. I was hoping that I would end up in the same room as Lucas, but students were assigned randomly and Lucas was in the same room as Doyoung.

“Hey!”

I turn around to see Lucas running up to me.

“Oh hey, Lucas.”

“What room are you in?” he asks.

“A3. You?”

“A1.”

“Where did you park?” I ask.

“On this side,” he says, pointing towards the back of the building.

Idiot. Why did I park in the other lot on the opposite side?

“Oh, I parked on the other side.”

“Why did you park over there?” he asks, confusion marking his tone.

“I don’t know…”

I figured you were going to park where you usually park, but I forgot that you’re lazy. So that’s way too far to walk, obviously.

“Hey so, I listened to that song you sent me,” he says, walking along a row of lockers with me towards the other end of the building. “It was good.”

“Oh yeah? Good.” I smile. “Are you going to the reception afterwards?”

“Probably for a little bit. Where is it?”

“Library.”

“All right, well I’ll see you later,” he says as we arrive at the other side of the building and part ways to our respective rooms.

“See ya.”

The next hour is torture as we sit in a classroom with ten other students and some of their parents, each droning on about their favorite and least favorite volunteer experiences. The interaction prior clouds my thoughts. It was nothing, but he wanted to talk to me. I mentally scold myself as my mind starts on its irrational train of thought, reading into everything that could possibly be another sign. The excitement from my thoughts appears to express itself during my presentation with too many smiles and an extraversion that was normally restricted to my inner circle.

“I think I sounded more excited than usual, huh?” I whisper to Seungwan after finishing my presentation.

“Yes, you did.”

At least I’m self-aware.

When our presentation session ends, I walk to A1 to see if they had finished. The door is open and it is still filled with students. Seungwan waits with me briefly.

“I’m going to wait for Doyoung,” I lie. “You can go to the reception first; I’ll meet you.”

She walks off as I continue to pace in front of the room.

Honestly, what are you doing? You are so desperate.

After a few minutes, I look up when I hear shuffling from the room and see Doyoung and another classmate walk out, engrossed in conversation such that he doesn’t he even see me. They quickly exit the building when Lucas walks out and pauses at the entrance when he locks eyes with me.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Hey.”

“You wanna go to the reception?” I ask.

I look over Lucas’s shoulder when Siwoo walks out of A1 and smirks at me. I ignore him and return my gaze to Lucas.

“Uh sure,” he hesitates. “Yeah, I’ll go for a little bit. Let’s go.”

I repress a grin and lead the way out of the building. We exchange brief small talk, but mostly walk to the library in silence. I pull out my phone to see a text from Siwoo.

Siwoo [6:02 PM] Get your prom date now!

I roll my eyes and quickly put my phone back in my pocket.

We enter the library and Lucas quickly walks over to Sicheng, Yang Yang, Seulgi, and several others.

Well that was short lived.

I make my way over to the refreshments table and fill a cup with some juice and grab a cookie before joining Seungwan at a table with her parents. We chat about school and the presentation, giving an opportunity for Seungwan’s parents to scold her for not having officially submitted any of her volunteer hours.

I glance over at Lucas who is busy with the boys, Seulgi, and Sooyoung. Siwoo walks over to me and asks to discuss a history project. It doesn’t take long for the topic to switch over to Lucas.

“So do you have a prom date?” he asks with a grin.

I glare at him. “Of course not. We didn’t even really talk on our way here.”

“I’m pretty sure he likes you. He used to talk about you a lot in class last year.”

“Yeah, well, that was last year,” I say. “How are you and Mina?”

“Eh, we’re okay. You wanna go chat outside? I need to tell you something.”

I raise an eyebrow, wondering what could be so private that we need to discuss it away from everyone else. I shrug and follow him, stopping just outside the side entrance of the library when he turns to look at me, a concerned expression looming over his face.

“It’s been super awkward with Ara around. I think she’s jealous and it’s been putting a strain on Mina and me.”

Well no shit.

I let him talk, occasionally interjecting with a comment about Ara’s reactions to be expected in this situation. Let’s face it, if I were Ara and my ex started dating my best friend, I wouldn’t be too happy either. Siwoo is an interesting character – he is very loyal to me, but in my personal (and crass) opinion, his moral compass is fucked. How someone could be so careless the way he is, is beyond me, but I digress.

“Anyway, I think Seulgi is jealous of you…”

I grimace. “What does that have to do with Mina and Ara?”

“Nothing – well, not exactly nothing.”

“Now why would you say that?” I ask, incredulously. “She probably thinks she’s prettier than me and she has all of these guys fawning over her for validation of that.”

“But it’s not like you’re not pretty…” he says. “Plus you’re smarter than her. And, I mean, Ara and Mina are jealous of you.”

I think for a moment. I can understand why Ara was jealous – she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend even though I wasn’t doing that at all and Siwoo was the one who couldn’t keep his feelings to himself. Given that Mina and Ara used to be best friends, Mina is probably aware of that situation and has the same reservations about Siwoo. But these are different issues compared to what we’re talking about.

My face sours. “What? But they’re not like Seulgi… they don’t run in the popular crowd and they don’t… have guys chasing after them left and right.”

“So?!” he exclaims. “You know that Yunji hates you, right?”

Yunji is another one our classmates. I didn’t speak to her much. We had several classes together and I sat next to her in Korean class. She seemed fine, though she was often overdramatic in her relationships.

“I’ll never love again!” she claimed one day, shortly after her boyfriend broke up with her during our second year.

I frown. “What did I do to her?”

“Nothing, I don’t think…” He pauses for a moment before shaking his head, deciding whatever he was thinking is no longer relevant. “She’s very fake. She saw me talking to you one time and after you left, she came up to me and said, ‘You know, I really hate Y/N.’ I asked her why and she said, ‘Because she’s too pretty.’”

I burst into laughter. “Are you serious?!”

“Yeah! I wouldn’t lie to you about that!”

“That’s why she hates me?” I ask in between laughter. “What a stupid reason to hate someone. What did you say?”

“I just said something to try to defend you, but we switched the subject.”

I’ll admit, I was flattered after that confession, but also disappointed. If you’re going to hate me, at least hate me for a legitimate reason.

“So anyway, that’s why I think Seulgi is jealous of you. Yeah, she’s pretty, but you’re pretty and smart; she probably thinks you’re better than she is. So she probably thinks you’re trying to steal Lucas.”

Just like how Ara – and now, probably Mina – think I’m trying to steal you.

How foolish of them.

On the other hand, Seulgi wouldn’t be wrong…

“You know,” he begins, “when Ara and I were dating, she said something weird because she hated you too.”

I scoff. “Humor me.”

“We were waiting for the bus one day and she was watching you and she said, ‘I bet Y/N is really bad in bed because she’s so callous. Like she just lays there with no expression.’“

I start laughing again. “What kind of insults are these?! Weren’t we like fifteen?”

“Yeah.”

“All right.” I bite my lip, fighting a smile of amusement. “Whatever makes them feel better, I guess.”

A cold breeze makes me shiver. “It’s cold. We should go back inside,” I say.

I turn my head and look through the open door at Lucas and the rest of the boys who are all sitting in chairs next to the entrance. As Siwoo and I walk through the doorway, all of the boys simultaneously turn their heads and stare at me. I momentarily freeze before regaining composure and head directly to a table on the opposite side of the library.

“Did you see that?” I ask as Siwoo follows slightly behind.

“Yeah, they all looked at you.”

“Okay, just checking.”

The following week, my biology teacher announces a group project; we had to teach the class a chapter in the book. He begins assigning group members by numbering off the class from one to four. Doyoung and I groan in annoyance. Sitting next to each other meant that we would not be placed in a group together and were subjected to luck. I am placed in group three and Doyoung in group four. We turn around in our seats to see the rest of the numbering.

“Two, three, four…”

Lucas is assigned to group two.

“Wait, who’s two?” asks Lucas.

“Two,” Mr. Cho says as he points to the boy sitting next to Lucas. “Lucas, you’re three.”

I maintain an outward look of nonchalance. Now what are the odds of that? Internally, I’m surprised at the turn of events, wondering how this arrangement occurred so easily.

Lucas suddenly looks at me. “Y/N, what number are you?”

His face lights up when I hold up three fingers. “Hey we’re in the same group!”

I want to be excited since I now have an excuse to talk to him more, but I can’t help but remember my academic opinion of him: he selectively uses his brain, assuming he uses it at all. He’s not reliable when it comes to school work as he has a tendency to be overconfident in his abilities.

“Okay, everyone, get into your groups to discuss what you’re going to do.”

Lucas, Seohyun, Kibum, and Sooyoung maneuver over to my side of the room, filling the recently vacated seats. Lucas jumps up to sit on a lab bench next to my desk.

“All right, group, what we need is bitches!” Lucas says jokingly.

He and Kibum chuckle at each other. My forehead creases, unimpressed by his immature joke. I force a small smile in an effort to go along with it, but when I was truly unimpressed, it was hard to mask that emotion. Fortunately, he pays no attention to me, exchanging several more jokes with Kibum.

“So what section does everyone want to do?” I ask, interrupting their conversation.

We were assigned a chapter on the kidney and were instructed to make a PowerPoint presentation.

“I’ll do the intro,” Lucas chimes.

Of course – the easiest part.

Doyoung and I decide to watch How to Train Your Dragon during math class. My attention is pulled away when a girl walks up to Mr. Lee and hands him a stack of square, gold envelopes.

Prom invitations.

I stare at the envelope as it is placed in front of me, my name written in red capital letters next to a character from The Legend of Zelda on a label stuck to the front. I glance over at Hyojin who is engaged in a conversation with Sooyoung; a previous conversation flashes in my mind.

“Do you know if Doyoung is going with anyone?” Hyojin asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I really want to go with him…” she quietly admitted.

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“No way! Do you think you could ask him to see if he would even be interested?”

“Sure.”

I bite my lip. It’s almost comical at how often I seem to be running into this problem. Of course, I already know that Doyoung isn’t interested in going with Hyojin; but again, I have to play along. To put up the front, I knew he was more likely to go with Taeyeon since they were friends and she knows his secret. But I told Hyojin I’d ask, so I will keep my promise.

“Are you going to ask anyone to go?” I ask Doyoung.

“Probably.”

“Who do you think you’re going to ask?”

“I don’t know – probably Taeyeon.”

“How about Hyojin?” I ask innocently.

He presses his lips together, his facial expression clearly displaying a lack of appeal. “I don’t want to go with Hyojin.”

As expected.

“Yeah, I don’t know who else you could ask. Seungwan?” I suggest, giving additional alternatives to keep things casual.

“Nah.”

Well, I tried. Why do all of these girls like him and come to me asking for help trusting that I’m not going to tell him?

I shake my head in frustration and sigh.

Now the question is: how am I going to get my desired prom date? Speaking of which –

My mind drifts back to the biology presentation. I pull out my phone to send a text.

Me to Kibum, Sooyoung, Lucas [10:15 AM] Do you guys think we should meet up this weekend?

Sooyoung [10:16 AM] Yeah that sounds like a good idea!

Kibum [10:16 AM] Do we really need to?

Me [10:18 AM] It might be a good idea for doing all of the organization. How about Saturday? 2pm?

Lucas [10:19 AM] Yea! I can do Saturday

Kibum [10:19 AM] Saturday is fine

Sooyoung [10:20 AM] I can do Saturday too

We didn’t really need to be meeting up in person to do a PowerPoint presentation. Quite frankly, I was just trying to create a better opportunity to get Lucas alone. Now that prom invitations had been handed out, I was hoping that he would ask me. But there was a thought lingering in the back of my mind that I might have to ask him myself if I wanted to have him as my date.

I walk through the parking lot to my car during my free period at the end of the day to go home. Lucas’s car is parked in the space in front of me to the left; he’s already sitting at the driver’s seat. From my periphery, I can tell that he’s watching me as I open the back door of my car to throw my backpack in and change into a lighter jacket. I check my phone and respond to a text from my dad asking if I can stop by the grocery store before going home. Glancing over my left shoulder, I meet Lucas’s intense gaze as he continues to watch me, becoming increasingly self-conscious of my actions.

Why is he just sitting there watching me like that? Y/N, it’s fine. He’s probably just thinking about where he wants to go.

But maybe, you can go up and talk to him about prom…

I close the door and turn my head to the right when I hear a car driving by; Lucas’s Honda Accord speeds through the parking lot.

Dammit, he left. That was a bit odd though.

I sit with my dad in his office and start working on the biology presentation.

“Do you think I’m going to have to ask Lucas to prom myself?” I ask.

“Probably.”

Crap.

“You could do it on Saturday,” he suggests. “Sort of wait for everyone else to leave and then ask him.”

“I feel like that’s not going to work; he’ll leave at the same time Kibum leaves.”

Maybe I can suggest we get frozen yogurt and then tell Lucas to go with me to the garage when we leave. Then I’ll ask him there.

Yeah, that’s stupid.

Saturday morning, I send a text to everyone to make sure they were coming.

Me to Kibum, Sooyoung, Lucas [11:28 AM] Everyone still good for 2pm today?

Kibum [11:30 AM] Yeah I’ll be there

Sooyoung [11:31 AM] Same

Seohyun was unavailable and had already finished her part of the project. Unlike the rest of the group, I trusted her with group projects.

Kibum and Sooyoung had confirmed they were going to come, but Lucas was taking an awfully long time to respond. It reminded me of my birthday dinner that Hana tried to plan a few months ago. She had asked him if he wanted to attend in person and he agreed, but when she tried to text him to see if he would be going, he said he had to babysit.

Lucas [12:30 AM] I have to babysit

I stare at the text and sigh.

Of course you do. I like how you don’t explicitly say you can’t come. You just say you have to babysit. How convenient. I guess I don’t have to ask you to prom today either.

Kibum and Sooyoung arrive a short while later. After working for a couple hours, I suggest that we get frozen yogurt. Kibum declines; Sooyoung says she’ll meet me at the yogurt shop.

As I’m driving, I think about how Lucas and Sooyoung run in the same circle.

Maybe I can somehow ask her about who Lucas is thinking about asking to prom.

Unfortunately, Sooyoung is known for running her mouth so if I were to bring up anything, I had to be ensure that I brought it up casually. Otherwise, everyone would find out and that was the last thing I really needed.

“I’m annoyed that Lucas decided he didn’t want to show up last minute like that,” I say as I eat another spoonful of my strawberry frozen yogurt.

“He tends to do that. It’s really annoying. He usually uses the excuse that he’s babysitting.”

“Does he even have anyone to babysit?”

She shrugs. “He does have two younger half-brothers, but I don’t think they’re that young.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m gonna kill him. I know Mr. Cho doesn’t really care, but we’re still being graded on this. I’m not letting him screw up my grade.”

“I know! I don’t know how Seulgi puts up with him.”

I suddenly recall that Sooyoung has a strong dislike towards Seulgi. This would be a good time to ask about both Lucas and Seulgi since she was “friends” with both of them – on the surface, at least.

“Does Seulgi still like Lucas?” I ask.

“I honestly don’t know. If I had to guess, she probably does,” she says, annoyance in her tone. “She acts like she hates boys, but she actually loves all of the attention she gets.”

“Mm, yeah, I’ve noticed.” I click my tongue and maintain an expression of indifference. “Does Lucas still like her?”

“Probably,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Is he asking her to prom?”

“No, he already has a date.”

I freeze. What?

“Really? Who?” I ask, trying not to act surprised.

“His friend, Yuna – she doesn’t even go to our school.”

I believe in fate to a certain extent. I believe that some things happen for a reason. Perhaps that’s my optimism speaking for me because if I choose to believe that, then I can choose to believe that I’m supposed to reap some kind of lesson from the things that happen to me – that it’s not just some negative occurrence to set me back. Or maybe it’s to protect me from even more severe negative consequences. I don’t know, but I will say that it has allowed for me to retain my sanity.

I wonder if that was a coincidence that he didn’t come… It prevented me from asking him so I didn’t even have to make the risk of getting rejected because I absolutely would have been rejected.

“How does he know her?”

“I think they’re both into anime or something.” She shrugs. “They go to those anime conventions together.”

“Why on earth would he ask her?”

“I have no idea. I thought he was going to ask Seulgi.”

I hesitate for a moment, thinking back to Winter Ball and deciding I’ll make the risk with Sooyoung.

Maybe I can pass this off as a mere curiosity or confusion.

“So there’s something that I’ve been wondering about…” I begin. “At Winter Ball, Lucas came up to me and grabbed me to slow dance with him.”

“He did?!” She looks at me, wide-eyed and in disbelief. “That’s so weird! Why would he do that?!”

I shrug. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m wondering what in the world is going on with him because I always thought he liked Seulgi. Then he danced with me and now he’s going with whoever this Yuna girl is. Why would he do that?”

I notice Sooyoung’s forehead crease briefly. My heart jumps, realizing that she may have suspected that my curiosity in Lucas is more than just a passing interest.

“Hmm, yeah, I don’t know. His thing with Seulgi is really weird.” Her face becomes bitter. “I hate the way she treats him – it’s like he’s her slave.”

I return home, displeased with my newly learned information.

“Lucas has a prom date already,” I say to my dad. “Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out today.”

“Maybe…” He tilts his head and shrugs. “Who knows, maybe it would have been worse if you had gone with him. This prevented that from happening.”

“I couldn’t ask him since he didn’t show up, which is good because I would’ve been rejected anyway.”

“Who’s he going with?”

“Some girl named Yuna. She doesn’t even go to our school.”

“How does he know her?”

“Sooyoung said they go to anime conventions together.”

“Do you know who Seulgi is going with?”

“I don’t think she has a date yet…”

“Huh,” he remarks. “I wonder why he wouldn’t ask her then.”

I had no idea why Lucas didn’t ask Seulgi, but I was also wondering why he went out of his way to ask someone else who didn’t even attend our high school. To me, that’s the easiest way to avoid any kind of potential drama or judgement from anyone. If no one knows Yuna, no one can have any opinion. If he went with Seulgi, people probably wouldn’t be surprised. But on the other hand, if he went with me, that would surely become the subject of some major gossip. We didn’t run in the same circles and I surely wasn’t “popular.” I was just “the smart girl” that rejected “the smart guy” last year and I guess that makes me a bitch.

Regardless, all I knew was that I wasn’t going to have a prom date, which was fine; I didn’t want to go with anyone else anyway. I also wouldn’t have to work up the courage to ask the boy myself anymore. It was a bit of a disappointment, but it saved me the anxiety.

I continue working on the presentation and doing other homework until late into the night. Half past midnight, my phone screen lights up.

Lucas [12:30 AM] I’ll do my part tomorrow I was busy today

I roll my eyes.

I’m gonna kill him.

“So did you ask him?” Hana whispers to me during our physics class.

“He didn’t even show up. He said he was babysitting and would do his part of the project yesterday.”

“Babysitting?” She uses her hands to form air quotes. “Or babysitting?”

“My guess would be the latter.”

She frowns. “Did he at least do his part of the project?”

A look of displeasure washes over my face. “What do you think?”

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Oh, Lucas…”

“We’re supposed to meet in the library today during seventh period to finish it before I have to go to Academic Olympics.”

“Hopefully he finishes the presentation.”

“Honestly, Hana, that’s all I want.”

I pull out my phone and see that I have a text. Upon checking the single message, my jaw tightens and it takes me a bit of self-control not to throw my phone across the room.

Lucas [1:45 PM] Y/NN I have to go home to meet my mom. Can you text me pics of my topics?

“I’m actually going to kill him,” I say, pushing my phone onto Hana’s desk.

She deadpans. “Are you serious?” She looks at the message again. “What the – he even spelled your name wrong.”

“I’m gonna kill him! He doesn’t even know his topics?” I growl through my teeth as I pick up my phone to type in a quick response.

Me [1:46 PM] *Y/N

Lucas [1:47 PM] Auto correct

A picture follows his response; it’s a screenshot of our message thread, showing me that my name is spelled correctly in his contacts. I scoff and put my phone in my pocket right as the bell rings.

“I’ll see you at A.O. later,” I say to Hana while tossing my backpack over my shoulder and making my way towards the parking lot to my car.

I am parked next to Lucas and realize I would likely see him as he “went home to meet his mom.” Opening the trunk of my car to put my backpack in, I hear footsteps coming in my direction.

“Hey! Did you get my picture?”

I roll my eyes before glancing at him. The audacity…

“Yes.”

“It was autocorrect.”

“I know, I got it,” I say curtly.

I pull out my biology notes to find the list of topics for the presentation. I make a point to slam down my belongings, ensuring that he would be aware of my annoyance.

“You said you needed pictures?” I ask.

“Oh! Yeah!”

I roll my eyes again. I wasn’t thrilled that the project was due in two days and the idiot didn’t even know what he was supposed to be presenting. He should’ve had the list already, but knowing him, he probably misplaced it. I just want him to do his part because I don’t want to do it myself. I’m not here to give him an A.

I point to the list. “It’s these four.”

He pulls out his phone to take several pictures.

“Oh okay. Thanks. But yeah, it was autocorrect.”

Jesus. If you keep saying that, I’m going to punch you.

“I know, I’m just giving you a hard time,” I reply, monotony filling my tone.

I suddenly feel an arm wrap around me and I’m sure that if it were possible, my irises would be replaced with flames.

Are you fucking serious, Lucas? You’re giving me a hug?

“Thanks for the pictures. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Are you trying to kiss up to me?

“Okay,” I grumble.

“QUIET! You’re just reading off the slides! This isn’t why I assigned the presentation! You guys need to actually learn this stuff because when the test comes in May, you’re not going to know anything! Do you know how many people in this class I’m not worried about!? Three – four of you, maybe!”

Doyoung and I exchange an annoyed glance at each other and sigh. The first group had presented and Mr. Cho was scolding the entire class on the single group’s unsatisfactory performance. Once he was finished, Lucas walks up to Kibum and me.

“Guys, I’m so glad I slacked because now we have to redo the whole presentation.”

What the fuck? No, we don’t.

I am seething. “Uh, no, we don’t. Just don’t read everything you write,” I spit back.

Lucas looks at me, his face expressionless. I feel myself returning a stern look, attempting to temper the fire behind my eyes.

“I’ll meet you in the library today, Y/N.” Lucas says.

“Okay.”

“Is Lucas meeting you in the library?” Hana asks.

“He better be.”

I pull out my phone to send Lucas a text.

Me [1:30 PM] Are we meeting in the library after 6th?

Lucas [1:30 PM] We can

We can? What do you mean ‘we can’?

Me [1:31 PM] Okay, well, we are

Lucas [1:32 PM] Ok cya then! :3

“What the hell is this?” I growl, showing Hana the text.

She laughs. “He’s just trying to be cute.”

I couldn’t believe myself. Prior to Lucas sitting next to me in biology last year, he was never my favorite person. I always thought he was attractive, but largely thought he was a lazy and arrogant idiot. I changed my mind later on when we would work together, but I was starting to feel that my first impression had been, in fact, correct. Lucas was all talk. No action. No commitment. Yet, I was silly enough to fall for his good looks.

I walk to the library after class and sit down at one of the computers. I sigh as I pull up the presentation; the only empty slides are Lucas’s. He only had to do the introduction – it should have been easy to complete in a short amount of time.

Glancing at the clock, it was ten minutes past the time class ended. Lucas’s last class was the same distance away from the library as mine was; he should have been here by now.

It’s fine. Calm down. Worst case, you do it yourself.

Suddenly, chatter between two boys can be heard from the main part of the library. I turn my head as Lucas and Yang Yang walk into the computer area.

“Hey, what’s up?” Lucas greets, resting his hand on the back of my chair.

“Hey, so here’s the presentation. You’ve got the first few slides.”

He turns around to reach for a chair at one of the nearby tables.

“You know, why don’t you sit here?” I interject, getting up from the chair in front of the computer.

He remains silent as he sits down. I decide to stand directly behind him, crossing my arms like a supervisor overseeing a terminated employee gather their personal belongings before leaving. I watch him as he slowly uses the biology textbook to copy down information to the slides and add accompanying photos from the internet.

So you were just going to copy and paste from the textbook and you thought we had to redo the whole presentation? And it takes you this long to get it done? Pathetic.

He asks me for my opinion on the miscellaneous photos he uses to supplement the text on his slides – making a point to emphasize how the GIFs he chose were of superior quality.

After forty-five minutes, he finishes his section.

“I think I’m done! It looks good, right?”

I click my tongue. “Yep.”

He stands up, overly pleased with his work and slings his backpack over his shoulder.

“All right, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

I remain displeased, my tone monotonous. “See ya.”

I sit down in the previously vacated chair and save the presentation, quickly closing out and packing up my things to go home. I am indignant as I make the realization that I practically had to babysit him to get him to do his work. It wasn’t even like he really did any work considering he just copied and pasted from the textbook.

Great, he knows shit about the topic that we have to present on tomorrow. Fantastic.

And since he knew nothing, he was likely going to do exactly what Mr. Cho said not to do – i.e. read directly off the slides – because this is how he does everything else in school.

“Oh I barely studied for this test, but I’m really good at this subject,” Lucas would say right before we began an exam.

When the exam was returned, you could hear from the back of the classroom, “Shit! I got a C!”

I roll my eyes and push those thoughts away. Being angry sapped away my energy and quite frankly, I wanted to conserve it for something worthy.

I walk to the parking lot and see a shadow in my periphery as I near my car.

“Hey! Long time no see!” Lucas calls.

Please just shut up.

I don’t respond and keep my focus straight ahead. He jogs over to me and begins to match the pace of my gait as we walk to our respective cars.

“Are you going home?” he asks.

“Yeah, but I’m going to wait for the traffic to clear out before leaving.”

“Oh, me too.”

We reach our respective cars and put our backpacks in the backseat. He proceeds to sit in the driver’s seat of his car and starts browsing something on his phone, leaving the door open with one leg resting outside the car. It was another facet of his personality – he did always try to act like he was cool.

“Hey, you like scarves, right?” he calls from his car.

I furrow my brows. What a strange question. He keeps his gaze on his phone, continuing to scroll through Instagram when I appear next to him.

“Yeah, why?”

He shrugs and tilts his phone towards me, a picture of a young woman wearing a Burberry cashmere scarf on the screen. “Was just thinking about how you wear them a lot.”

But why?

I attempt to keep my expression neutral. “Oh, well, that one looks nice,” I say. “I have an imitation Burberry scarf.”

He continues to stare at the photo. “Yeah, I remember. It’s nice.”

I blink several times, shifting my gaze around the parking lot in confusion.

“I really like scarves too,” he says.

Uh okay, that’s cool…?

“I think you’d look nice in this one,” he says, tilting his phone towards me again.

The day of our presentation, Lucas is late to class again. Normally, I wouldn’t be concerned because Lucas could just present when it’s his turn, whether he’s late or not, but since he’s supposed to do the introduction, we have a little bit of a problem.

“Do you know if Lucas is coming today?” Kibum asks.

“Nope, but he better be here because he has to speak first.”

“Which group is presenting today?” asks Mr. Cho.

“Ours, but we’re waiting for Lucas.” I reply.

Mr. Cho sighs and walks out of the classroom. I take the opportunity to set up the presentation on his computer. I turn my head towards the door when I see Lucas walk in shortly afterwards. It takes some effort on my part not to roll my eyes into the back of my head when he arrives, announcing to the class that he had trouble finding something to wear that morning to explain his lack of punctuality. I shake my head in disapproval as I head towards the front of the classroom to stand by the projector screen; the rest of the group members follow my lead.

“You guys ready?” Mr. Cho asks as he walks back into the room.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Lucas sits on a lab stool across from me and begins to describe the basic functions of the kidney. I widen my eyes in surprise.

Holy shit, he actually knows something.

I control the remote to transition to the next slide and Kibum starts explaining his portion of the project. I shift my gaze when I hear Lucas chuckling and making slight hand motions to someone in the class. Following his line of sight, Yang Yang was making faces and hand gestures at Lucas from the back of the classroom.

Typical.

Soon enough, it’s my turn to speak. I explain a diagram of the Loop of Henle, trying to recall the notes I had made the night before. In the midst of turning to make eye contact with the rest of my class, my head stops short when I meet Lucas’s gaze. He carefully watches me as I speak.

He’s probably just watching me because I’m speaking. The best way to assess this is to watch his behavior while everyone else is speaking.

Surprisingly, I’m fairly decent at presenting even if I’m thinking about other things. Every time I turn to look at the audience, I pause on him briefly to check that he’s still looking, quickly turning away every time to make sure the rest of the class doesn’t catch on to my blatant staring. Without fail, he continues to watch me throughout my section of the presentation. As the presentation transitions from me to Sooyoung and Seohyun, Lucas’s eyes wander around the classroom, a look of disinterest on his face. He was no longer making faces with Yang Yang, but he wasn’t paying attention to the presenters anymore either.

“Congratulations, Y/N!” I look over my shoulder to see Sicheng shouting from across the parking lot.

I raise an eyebrow. What’s he congratulating me for?

“Thank you!” I call back as a formality.

Oh, maybe it’s about –

“Hey!” a voice shouts from behind me.

I pause to let Lucas catch up to me.

“Hey, what’s up?” I greet.

“Congratulations on getting into UCLA!”

Yep, it’s about that…

“Thank you!”

I was surprised both he and Sicheng knew about my acceptance, but realized that Kibum must have told both of them. Kibum, Hana, and Doyoung were the only people I told since I had received the news.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“I was going to the other parking lot to go to my car to leave. Why?”

“I wanna show you some music!”

“Oh, sure!”

It was stupid of me to give in so easily after his clear demonstration of laziness and irresponsibility. But for whatever reason, I never opposed more bonding time with him unless it was over something dumb, like babysitting him while he did his homework. And on the bright side, it appeared that he didn’t take my anger at him too personally if he still wanted to show me music.

He turns around and I follow him to Seulgi’s car where she has her trunk popped open. He sits on the edge of the car trunk next to Seulgi while she talks with some of her friends. I lean against the car next to him.

“So my friends and I are practicing this dance…” he says as he types something into YouTube.

“What for?”

“We’re gonna compete in a K-Pop dance competition.”

You’re gonna what? I didn’t realize you danced…

“Oh really? That’s cool. How’s it coming along?”

“It’s all right; BTS has choreography that’s really complicated.”

“I’m not really into BTS – not a huge fan of rap and hip hop.”

The music video for “Boy in Luv” by BTS began to play. I sit and watch silently. I wasn’t a huge fan of the song, but as always, their choreography was amazing.

“He’s cute,” I remark.

“That’s Jungkook. He’s my favorite too.”

He continued to show me videos for the remainder of the lunch hour and convinced me to stay during my free period instead of going home. We discussed school a bit and my acceptance to UCLA. I thought my prospects with him seemed to be increasing, but I knew it would never last. I was leaving in a few months to go to college in California and Lucas would likely be staying here. Aside from that, the whole presentation issue wasn’t a good sign for long-term commitment. And even though I knew having a crush on Lucas wasn’t really worth my time, I couldn’t help it. But in the back of my mind, I was constantly reminded of the fact that he was going to prom with someone else that didn’t even attend our school. And unless something crazy happened, I probably wouldn’t have my chance for another dance.

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Before I Met You Masterlist Masterlist

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emperor-of-blood · 5 years ago

Text

Aight so I guess I’m doing a session review?/Prediction?/Analysis of how I think @neonwolfeh session might go.

So starting this off with the premise:

It’s a normal session with no specific prototyping fuckery or trolls or whatever. and I got some brief character summaries:

Ross, Heir of Doom: Ross is a jaded, angry guy who just wants to have -One Good Daytm-.

Luca, Rogue of Life: Pretty upbeat, tries to make the best of every situation (and does not succeed).

Kase, Seer of Rage: Fuckin edgelord, thats p much it. Full of hate and will say slurs.

Abby, Witch of Hope: Basically a shoujo anime protagonist, awkward and peppy and sweet.

Odin, Prince of Time: Embodiment of nervousness and jumpiness. This guy needs a nap and a hug.

Niko, Knight of Space: Like Dave Strider if he was as suave as 2012 fanon interpretations said he is.

And now for my takes on them:

So starting off my initial impressions of the session are complete failure, mostly based on one thing. Odin, the Time player. While he sounds decent enough of a guy you have to understand the reason that every session requires a Space and Time player to succeed. Technically speaking, only a Space player is needed to overcome the wall of creating a new universe. The Time player is needed because the game is just that hard. The image I get of Odin is that he won’t be actually doing much Time traveling, likely too weak-minded to believe that he could pull things off. A lot of pressure would be resting on his shoulders and he needs to answer. As I said in my Patrick Star analysis, I believe that he’s going to be wasting a lot of Time. For different reasons here though, he’s still destined to procrastinate. That is likely going to get people in his session killed. Sburb is hard and everyone involved needs to be doing their part to beat the game.

My analysis doesn’t end with that though. We still have 5 other players to throw into the mix! Moving onto I’d like to talk about the cool cat Niko, the Knight of Space. So inherently here we have a contradictory classpect. The Knight is a protector, in their session they are supposed to cooperate with their Space player to breed The Frogtm. They are meant to be a companion. The Space class is one of solitude, barring their frog breeding partner. Space is a vast domain and both Jade and Kanaya spent most of their time alone. It’s one of their themes. They spend time worried about the bigger picture that with the smaller problems that their teammates deal with. Likely, they are very alone. And that makes me wonder, how much of the “Cool Guy” is real and how much of it is, well, him being lonely? Or a defense mechanism because of that? Keep yourself distant and aloof because that’s where you’re going to end up anyways. No reason for people to get hurt, sort of deal.

Next I wanna talk about Luca, the Rogue of Life. I imagine her as the kind of person who is peppy to the point that it makes people uncomfortable. Trying to bring Life happiness to all of her friends by being a never ending source of sunshine. Which is all well and good, these types of people are well liked and a party falling into the traps of depression is likely to fail. That being said, I can’t help but believe that her failures come from her unending sunshine. Sometimes people just need to be sad. Life has it’s ups and down and that’s natural. People probably feel exhausted around her, much to her dismay. You must go down to rise back up. I feel like she’s probably Odin’s self proclaimed best friend and also a main source of stress for him. “You can do it!” is encouragement (He probably sees it as empty/naive), not useful advice. Her being unable to see that has got to be one of her personal challenges. She’s not responsible for rewriting everyone’s lives or fixing their problems. Those are not hurdles for her to overcome. I feel like every Rogue has some weird interaction with their aspect. As one who steals Life/steals from Life I don’t think it’s meant to be taken literally. She ain’t sucking out peoples souls. I’d say she maybe has an aura of demoralization for her enemies, kind of like a mental attack? Or it could be something more direct like absorbing Life essence through contact or something. Like a magic drain attack similar to the androids from DBZ or some equivalent. The stealing from Life is maybe... just a literal item teleportation ability? Like an actual Thief Rogue. Beyond that, she can probably bring people back to life once just like every other Life player ever.

Ross the Heir of Doom is, well, kind of a loser. but he doesn’t have to be. His main challenge is going to be realizing that his “One good daytm” isn’t just going to randomly show up. It’s something you have to work for. Once he does, he’ll probably be fine. Weirdly enough the fucking Doom player is likely the most competent out of everyone, which is really funny imo. His powers are uh. Well. One who inherits Doom/is protected by Doom. I’m shooting in the dark here despite there being a canon Heir of Doom. I’d say he maybe influences enemies to fight each other? At least early on during the passive protection phase. Later on once he awakens his powers he might be able to suck “Bad vibes” into himself, weakening his enemies and strengthening himself. That might be leeching into Thief territory but I wouldn’t know what else to say here honestly. Maybe he can fix things? Inheriting the Doom of something and taking the damage into himself? It’s up for debate.

Moving on to Kase, Seer of Rage. The dude’s probably a complete asshole. The kind that you question why you’re even friends with them. Probably racist but also hates people in general and claims that it’s OK because of that. Probably gets along really well with animals because of that too. He’s probably feeding into Odin’s insecurities, which, might actually be helping him stay until he’s really ready to time travel. But that’s not Kase’s intention (Ask him about it afterwards and he’ll claim otherwise forever.). He just want’s to be a dick and thinks being edgy or ironic is cool. As on who understands Rage he’s likely well aware that it can be useful in the right scenarios. Maybe he lets himself get taken by the berserker Rage at just the right moment and come back down afterwards. But he hasn’t really come down. You can’t just have a heart filled with Rage and hate and be a normal person the rest of the time. He can probably tell when it’s time for others to let loose as well. But likely has trouble convincing them.

Kase and Ross probably get along really well.

Finally, we have Abby, the Witch of Hope. Honestly? She sounds really basic. She’s gotta be the most “Normal” person out of the bunch. Which, when your surrounded by weirdos, is a good thing. Everyone needs someone sane to fall back on and that’s definitely her. I imagine that’s how she manipulates Hope, just giving people some reference, some piece of mind, that they haven’t gone off the deep end. Or maybe that the have and need to rethink things. She’s probably the one that’ll help Odin figure his shit out. Maybe she drafts up a plan of events he should change. Then in the new timeline he seeks out her help again and repeats this until he can do things himself. While I don’t see her as the leader of the party, she is likely the anchor. She also probably will play a bog role in everyone else figuring out their shit too. Telling Ross to shut the fuck up, Kase to man up and do something, Luca to do something productive, Niko to call her when he the loneliness starts getting to him, just to talk. Her challenges likely revolve around realizing how important she is. After all, she’s just a shoujo protag, what can she do? Everyone is out there killing monsters or solving puzzles or hacking their alchemists. Ans she’s just a plain Jane. But that’s what makes her special. Her powers are probably basic hope lasers and maybe being good at giving speeches.

So with that out of the way how would the actual session go? Well, I think there’s a lot of fighting. I imagine Kase wants to be the leader being the “Only one capable of it” and he’s not exactly wrong. But he’s also insufferable. So it doesn’t matter that he’s competent because nobody wants to listen to him. The only other options are Luca who everyone also likely can’t deal with for extended periods of time for previously stated reasons; or Niko, who is likely to busy with their own shit to also manage the party. So I think everyone has to meet up and decide that it’s probably best for Kase to be leader and that everyone should just agree to follow him and give him some advice where they can. Kase is probably actually competent. He’s likely a bad leader but an even worse follower. I can imagine him just ignoring anyone else as the leader and going off to do his own thing and fucking shit up. With him as the leader, not causing trouble and everyone else in a kind of, secret alliance I guess, the key players are going to be Odin and Abby. Odin needs to be able to fill his role or everyone dies. Simple as that. Abby needs to a) help him figure his shit out if he can’t on his own. And b) help ground everyone else (So they can solve their problems) and keep some semblance of sanity. If they can, there’s a solid shot at victory. If Odin dies before he can Time travel, well, I guess that’s that. There’s a lot of personal challenges to overcome based on a character’s classpect and I think it really comes down to, are these people/characters capable of growth?

Hopefully the way I viewed the characters was how you wanted but with so little to go on I might have misinterpreted somethings. Either way this was fun!

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starker-stories · 5 years ago

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An Accord (WIS), Chapter 8

I’ll be re-creating my individual chapter posts for An Accord over here on the blog that replaces starkerstories. Until I hit the current chapter, I’ll be posting daily. They’ll have links to both tumblr and AO3 chapter links. I’m sorry if that bothers people who’ve seen this all before in the tag. I’m content to leave all my other fic as AO3 only, but this is my current favorite child, so I’m spoiling it rotten.

This fic is on a weekly update schedule. Hopefully every Friday. More chapters may appear sooner if the writing is going well. Because I have 0 self-control.

Tumblr Chapter Links: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5, ch6, ch7, ch8, ch9, ch10, ch11, ch12, ch13 AO3 Chapter Links: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5, ch6, ch7, ch8, ch9, ch10, ch11, ch12, ch13

Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Polyamory Negotiations, Polyamory, Cheating, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Domestic Nightmare Tony Stark, Reconciliation, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, WinterIronSpider, Happy Ending, Clothed Sex, Domesticity, Peter Parker is legal age in the state of New York, College Student Peter Parker, Takes place about 2 years after Civil War. Closeted Character

Summary: Peter grew very quiet. “Are you going to take him from me?” He tried to keep the shudder out of his breath, the break out of his voice.——————————————————————————————

Chapter 8: Different

Bucky stood apart from the couple. “I’m sorry.”

“For?” Peter asked.

“I shouldn’t have done any of that.” He lowered his eyes. “I knew you were together. I shouldn’t have…”

Peter crossed over to Bucky, reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. “You weren’t the only one who did something, y’know?”

“I started it though. I’ll find another place to stay,” he said quietly, sadly.

“I said we needed to talk.” Tony sat down at the dining table. “‘We need to talk’ does not mean ‘you need to move out’.”

Peter looked back and forth between Tony and Bucky. Bucky looked both crestfallen and terrified. Tony looked more tight and tense than he’d seen him since before he moved in. And there was guilt. So much guilt. Though he imagined there was a fair share of that on his face now as well. What Tony felt guilty for doing to Peter, Peter was also guilty of having done the same to him. Bucky fit into that equation somewhere. But Peter hadn’t been forced to go along with what Bucky did, and he doubted Tony had either. He could’ve said ‘no’ that first time. Or any of the times, including that afternoon, since.

But in the moment… Peter loved Tony so much that it felt like his entire heart could burst with it. Like his entire body was singing. Nothing about that had changed. Bucky didn’t make him feel like that. But he did make him feel something. At first he thought it was just sex. The way Bucky described it: ‘what’s a little head amongst friends’. But even then, even that first time, when it was just ‘amongst friends’, Peter felt something. Something warmer than the friendship he had with MJ or Ned. Something cooler than the love he had with Tony. Something.

Bucky went and sat in what had become his place at the dining table. Peter looked between them again.

“No,” he said, determinedly. “No,” he said, more tenderly.

“We need to talk, Peter,” Bucky said, his voice still quiet, his voice still sad.

“We do. Just not here.” He walked over to the table and stood between the two men. “It’s too… cold.” He furrowed his brow. That wasn’t the right word. “Too… clinical.” That wasn’t the right word either. He gave up on words and took one each of their hands in his. He walked backwards, away from the table.

Bucky and Tony stood to follow, though they both thought the trio was headed to the sofa and started in that direction. Only to be pulled away and led down the hall.

“Talk, not fuck,” Tony said. “That’s what got us into this situation.”

“You can do more than fuck in a bed, Tony. I know that might be a new concept.” Peter grinned.

Peter kicked off his shoes, tugged off his socks, and lost his pants, leaving himself in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. “Get comfy, but not naked.” He climbed onto the bed, grabbed a pillow and the small throw at the foot of the bed. Propping himself up on his side, he got ‘comfy’.

Tony stripped down to his boxers. He sat cross-legged on the bed, down around where Peter had his knees bent. Bucky took off his shoes and socks, then hesitantly climbed into bed, otherwise fully clothed.

“Nope,” Peter said, looking at him.

Bucky finished getting into the bed, still dressed. He sat much like Tony was. He and Tony made two points and Peter made a long side to a triangle. An appropriate shape, he thought.

When he and Steve slept together, Steve slept nude and Bucky slept pantsless. Never shirtless. They never showered together, not even after sex. Steve had seen him shirtless, of course, but not often and never for long.

After he was sitting comfortably, Bucky peeled off his shirt and tossed it onto the pile of everyone else’s clothes. Neither Peter nor Tony stared. Nor did they deliberately look away. They… nothinged.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky began.

“I’m not,” Tony said quietly.

Peter raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you, if I did, Peter.” Tony reached out and put one hand on Peter’s knee. “That I am sorry about.” He reached out and put his other hand on Bucky’s knee. “What I’m not sorry about…” He was vastly sexually experienced. He’d fucked many different combinations of people in many different numbers. But this wasn’t that.

“I’m not sorry about the way it felt running my fingers through your hair,” Tony said tenderly. “I’m not sorry about the way you felt relaxing in my lap. I’m not sorry about the contented little sounds you made when you went down on me. I’m not sorry about the way you, at first, tensed when I wrapped my fingers around your cock through your pants and then felt you completely give yourself over to it. The way I got to feel all of that…” He looked Bucky in the eye. “All of that fear falling away. And god, I am so not sorry about the way you fell on me when you were riding me. The way you clung to me. The way I held you. The way I felt you take what you needed and give me that pain.” Tony let his hands fall back into his lap and looked at them lying there. “I’m not sorry about any of that.”

He looked at Peter. “I’m sorry if that hurt you. I’m so in love with you, Peter. But I… I have different feelings for Bucky.”

“Pity.” Bucky’s voice was sad and bitter.

“No.” It was Peter who corrected him. “Not pity. Not the same thing I feel for Tony. That’s… that’s beyond words. But what I feel for you… that’s not pity.” Peter reached across the space between them and touched Bucky’s right, flesh, hand. “There’s… sadness there. But that’s not out of pity…” He played with Bucky’s fingers as he tried to figure out his words. “It’s out of caring about you. When you care about someone, you don’t want to see them hurt. You don’t want them to have ever been hurt before.” He looked up at the man. “When you find me having a nightmare, when Tony’s not here, do you hold me because you pity me?”

“Of course not.”

“Do you…” He wasn’t so sure that the next answer was going to be what he wanted to hear. “Hold me only because that’s what I need to calm down?”

Bucky reached out and brushed a curl from Peter’s forehead, like he did when Peter was trying to fall back asleep. “It’s because I care about you and it hurts to know you’ve been hurt.”

There was a silence as they all thought about what had been said.

“Are you in love with me?” Tony asked, turning toward Bucky. He was aware that he was the point on which this, the three of them, seemed to pivot, despite Bucky being the one they’d both been having sex with.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Peter asked. “Or you think you shouldn’t say?”

“Both,” Bucky said after a long pause. “I know that I’m happier with you… with both of you… than I ever actually was with Steve. Than I think I ever could’ve been once we started again.” He paused again. “I think I loved a Steve that didn’t exist after… what he became. Not that he became stronger, that he wasn’t sick anymore, that he was big, not those things. It was… He played a role on stage when he was drumming up support for war bonds. When he finally went into battle… when he started leading the Howling Commandos… Steve was gone and all that there was was the role. That’s only gotten worse.

“So I don’t know if I love you. Either of you. Both of you. Or if there’s just…” Bucky closed his eyes and sighed.

“A void,” Tony provided.

“So I don’t know about love. But I know about care. And I know there’s something… That’s why that never happened again.”

“The two of you fucked,” Peter said, trying to keep an even tone. ‘A little head amongst friends’, like Bucky had said… it surprised him, but that didn’t make him jealous at all. Fucking… the things that Tony described… he was torn. He wanted Bucky to feel that. He knew how it felt. How safe he felt in Tony’s arms when they fucked. How overwhelmed he could get and how that overwhelmingness… it didn’t make everything all right. Things weren’t that simple. But it, at least during his waking hours, the security of it… it healed. He wanted Bucky to know that feeling. But that was his.

Peter grew very quiet. “Are you going to take him from me?” He tried to keep the shudder out of his breath, the break out of his voice.

“Oh Peter, no. Not ever. I don’t ever want to do that,” Bucky said.

“No one ever wants it when it starts.” Peter couldn’t open his eyes.

“Baby…” Tony rocked himself forward and pulled Peter into his lap. “This is over if it hurts you. I won’t ever leave you. I won’t ever hurt you. Baby… you’re… my everything.”

Peter pulled his head out of Tony’s neck. His face was tear-streaked, but he’d stopped crying. He smiled at Bucky. “When he holds you like that…” He rested his head against Tony’s chest while he kept smiling at Bucky. “It’s… safe.” He reached his hand out to the man and held it there until Bucky took it in his metal hand.

He looked up at Tony. “I want not to mind it. I want Bucky to have that. I want him not to run away and be afraid of it the next time it happens.” Peter shuddered. “But Tony, if you leave me, I’ll die.”

“Not gonna happen, baby.” Tony put a light kiss on Peter’s lips. “It might be a fucked up one, but how can I live without my heart?” He put Peter’s other hand, pressed palm flat, over his arc reactor.

Peter looked between the two men. “I don’t want to be there. I mean I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t need to be there, but… I think I might like it if one of you told me after it happened? I don’t know if that will help. This is all so much ‘I don’t know’. But if one of you tell me… I can be more happy for the two of you and maybe not so scared. And it won’t feel like you’re… cheating. God that’s ridiculous. Because of course it’s all cheating…”

“It’s not if we don’t lie, Peter. Lies make things cheating. Lying since it started… that’s probably my biggest regret.”

“Mine as well,” Bucky said. “I never wanted to lie to you, Peter. Or you, Tony. I know how much Steve’s lies hurt you.”

Tony sighed. He didn’t know why those lies hurt so much and this didn’t. “This isn’t like that… doesn’t feel like that… I don’t know why.”

“Who was first?” Peter asked, looking at Bucky.

“Tony. Then you two days later. After, it’s been more-or-less balanced.” He smiled at Peter. “You’re more difficult. You’re not home as much when he’s not.”

Peter laughed. This was all much easier to take sitting in Tony’s lap. He turned a little to the side and held his arm open. Bucky slid closer and Tony balanced on his other arm, letting the man find a spot to rest his head on his thigh.

“So,” Tony said, putting a kiss on the side of Peter’s head and shifting around until he could run his fingers in Bucky’s hair. “This seems to work… at least a little. But there are some jealousies,” he added. “Peter wants to know when we fuck. You, Pretty?”

“Oh, I’m the guest in this situation,” Bucky said.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings about it all.”

“Keep playing with my hair,” Bucky grinned up at Tony. “I really do get gone from that. Even when I wore it short. You lied to me.”

“When?” Tony said, shocked.

“When you told me you didn’t like your hair played with.”

“I don’t.”

“Uh huh,” Bucky and Peter said, disbelievingly, in unison.

Tony rolled his eyes. “God when Pretty and Beautiful gang up on me, I’m not gonna stand a chance.”

“Can I sleep in here with you both sometimes? Even if we haven’t done anything?” Bucky asked, after a pause.

“I’d really like that,” Peter said.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “Anything done or not. It’s a big bed.”

“It’s the size of my whole damn apartment back in Brooklyn.”

“It is not,” Tony countered.

“Damn near.”

“It’s his former orgy bed,” Peter teased.

“Okay. Bucky likes his hair played with… no surprises there. And he’d like to sleep with us. And… as long as we tell Peter, I’d like to fuck you again if you’d like that.”

“Yes please.”

“Do you just like to get fucked?” Peter asked. “Or do you like fucking too?”

“I’m fairly vers. I like getting fucked a little bit more, but it’s not a one or the other thing with me.”

“It is with me,” Peter said. “I haven’t ever felt the desire to fuck anyone. Even with our horizons broadened, that’s still the case. Is that okay, Bucky? That I’m not gonna want to fuck you?”

“Would you like me to fuck you?” Bucky asked. “If Tony’s okay with it?” They both looked at Tony.

“Peter’s never been with anyone but me,” Tony explained. “I’ve gotta think…” he said slowly, letting the words trail off into a pause. “Would ‘if I’m there’ work for you both? Not just telling me about it. I’d want…” He bit his lips. This was all so unusual. To even consider the possibility of sharing Peter. He was probably the most possessive person in the universe. It didn't bother him that Bucky had been going down on Peter as long as he’d been doing it to him. But fucking was more… intimate. “I have to be there,” he finally said, having come to a conclusion. “Are you both willing to do that? Because, otherwise, no.”

“I told you, I’m the guest here,” Bucky said. “I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Stop it,” Peter said. “You’re the third, yes. I’ll agree that’s the situation we’re in… we seem to be in… But you have a say.”

“Whatever happens,” Tony said, “we all have to agree. Lies are the absolute hard limit for me. Don’t tell me that something’s okay and then have it fester and twist into lies.”

“I’m okay with you being there if I fuck Peter.” He cast his eyes downward. A hint of a smile played at his lips. “I think…”

Peter smiled. “I think we both like it that way.”

Bucky looked up at him and met his smile. “Yes.”

“Peter, I know you don’t have any experience with any of this, not just trying to work out a relationship, but just… in bed with multiple partners. Bucky? Do you?” Tony asked.

“Winter did. Often,” Bucky said with distaste. “But me? When there was more than one, you ever saw them again after the party was over,” Bucky explained. “Or if you did, you never acknowledged it because it was dangerous. It was… a different time.”

“So you don’t even really have experience with…” Tony sought for the words. He knew what the sorts of parties Bucky described were like amongst closeted men. But he also knew what it was like to have multiple partners in your bed that you didn’t shy away from in fear after you came. Who stayed the night in your bed and you woke up in a tangle of bodies, kissing whoever happened to be laying next to you before the writhing mass became entangled again. And to have that go on for an entire weekend.

“Experience with affection and multiple partners,” Tony explained. “But a relationship… None of us have ever navigated those waters. Not even me. The longest an orgy ever lasted was…” he looked at the ceiling to compare the memories of the events. “Eight and a half days. Though the number of guys varied as they came and went. With girls it was three, and I was more of a… voyeur. With a mix, it was five.”

Both Peter’s and Bucky’s eyes went wide.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Tony,” Peter exclaimed.

Tony grinned. “It was a well earned reputation. I needed a big bed.”

Bucky laughed. “We defer to you expertise.”

“No shit,” Peter added, laughing along.

“You don’t fuck for that long without there being long periods of just… lying about and getting snuggly. If some people in the bed were more there for a chance at getting to a certain someone, little jealousies popped up. Little ones, because…” Tony shrugged. “Even eight and a half days isn’t very long for that stuff to really happen. And I guess if someone got too bent out of shape, they left. I never noticed.

“But this…” He ran his finger down Bucky’s arm and tightened his hold around Peter’s waist. “Jealousies are gonna happen. The minute anybody lies about it, this ends for me. Which, if Peter wants to stay with me, means it ends for him too. Sorry baby. I know that doesn’t sound fair, but you know that’s how I work. You knew that from the beginning. I’m possessive as fuck.”

Tony looked down at Bucky. “And damn, Pretty, if you don’t make me feel just a little bit possessive too. But if you ever do find a certain someone who’s like Peter for you, I’ll let you go, okay? Not because I don’t care about you or I don’t want you, but because I want you to be happy. Meanwhile… If you’re gonna park that pretty piece of tail in this bed, this bed is it. Me and Peter. As long as this goes on, the three of us are exclusive.” Tony ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Hey, no one ever said he played fair. “Is that okay?”

“You feel possessive about me?” Bucky said, a confused look on his face.

“Yeah, Pretty. I am a greedy, possessive, demanding fuck. What’s mine, I like to stay mine. We can talk about looser things as long as everything’s kept oral. But if I’m gonna fuck you. If we’re gonna share what that was. That’s gotta be mine.”

“I…” Bucky’s blue eyes were dark when he looked up at Tony. “Yeah. That’s yours.”

“Don’t worry, Pretty,” Tony said tenderly, still threading his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “I take care of Beautiful, I’ll take care of you too. Two strong men who could break me like a twig, but who I’ll keep safe because that’s what all three of us are looking for from each other.” He leaned his head against Peter, and his hand slid down Bucky’s back, firmly holding him.

Tony drew a deep, shuddering breath and paused. His voice broke when he spoke. “Peter, I love you. God baby, I love you entirely. But Bucky… there aren’t words. The vocabulary isn’t deep enough. It’s not what I feel for Peter. But it’s so not friends-with-benefits either. It’s… a different kind of love, I guess. I love you Peter. God, I never thought I’d say this, but I love you different, Bucky.”

They sat together for a long while. “Is that okay, beautiful?” Tony asked Peter.

Peter sighed. “Yes.” He reached down and slipped his fingers into Bucky’s hair alongside of Tony’s. “We love you different, but we love you.”

#starker #winterironspider #WIS An Accord #Von writes stuff

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notafeeling · 6 years ago

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Infinitesimal (Part I)

A/N Infinitesimal (originally titled in a haze as “LOGAN IS BARRY BLUEJEANS”) is a Sanders Sides AU set in the world of The Adventure Zone: Balance, a DnD podcast made by the McElroy brothers. If you have not started The Stolen Century arc and don’t want spoilers, do not read.

Pairing: eventual logince (Logan/Roman)

Genre: scifi; slowburn

Warnings: temporary character death; TAZ-canon-typical violence

Word Count: 7.5k

Summary:

Logan had always thought that being a human meant he had to work harder and faster than everyone else to truly make a difference in the world. When his home is consumed by an intergalactic force known as The Hunger and he’s forced to go on the run through space with six others for a century, he realises that that’s not exactly true.

Or, Logan accepts an offer to join the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration and to travel around the mysterious planes that control his planet for a few months, but ends up hopping realities and dying a whole bunch alongside his mismatched crew members, learning how to love somewhere along the way.

Logan knows that, as a human, he has certain limitations in this world. For one thing, his 80-year expected lifespan is nothing compared to the centuries-old elves and dwarves who are considered teenagers. For another, it means he can’t rely on magic. He doesn’t have enough time to spend it mastering something he was never meant to have.

He turns to science at a young age.

The stars call him from outside his dirty, cracked window, and he dreams of the day he can fly among them. He wants to touch, he wants to grow, he wants to be something more.

Even at 8, he knows that his world doesn’t have the technology for that, and won’t for a very long time. It doesn’t stop him from yearning, though.

His parents send him to an academy at 15, only because he managed to get a scholarship. He graduates at 17 at the top of his class.

It’s still not enough.

He devotes the next five years of his life to mapping the stars and their constellations. Nothing that hasn’t been done before, but Logan’s determined to do this on his own.

If he won’t be able to live among them, then he’ll commit them to memory. Maybe he’ll travel along the constellation Pneuma Cascade in his dreams.

Having two suns is a fact everyone on Phaethon has long since accepted. The early civilisations made entire mythos surrounding those two stars alone, and children of his world are told stories of two lovers who chase each other endlessly. The second is dimmer because of his eternal pining, but he will follow the other to the end of times. When parents are asked why, they reply “because they’re in love,” and that’s all there is to that story.

Logan’s long-since moved on from folklore and the notion of love. Instead, he wants to know how. How can these two massive celestial objects coexist without succumbing to one another's’ gravitational pull? How does his planet, as small as it is, only orbit around the two without being sucked in?

Those questions give Logan purpose.

At 30, Logan finally has something to show for all his research.

The problem with examining two suns is that first of all, you shouldn’t look directly at them, and secondly, they’re too far away to properly study.

He devises a tool. It’s mostly cylindrical, and the otherwise hollow interior contains several panes of glass. Originally it was designed to filter out the sunlight, but Logan quickly figures out how to magnify the image he’s seeing.

(It’s kind of embarrassing that it took someone with corrective lenses for his short-sightedness to figure that one out, but all that matters is that it works.)

It takes him a few more years to have a perfected prototype. And he sees something no one else has.

He can see the suns in shocking clarity, but he doesn’t care about them (too much) anymore. Instead, he focuses on the slight rift between them. It’s not exactly a rift, more like… a divide. A shift.

Logan spends countless hours studying this, almost forgetting to breathe at times. This is what it’s all been leading to. There’s more! He can be more, do more!

It doesn’t take him much longer to figure out that the second sun is a double of the first. No, not exactly a double.

The second sun comes from the Ethereal Plane. The existence behind theirs, to put it simply. So it’s not a double, more like… the same one, but ever so slightly behind.

And the divide? It’s a weakened point between his plane - the Material Plane - and the other. Which means-

Holy shit. If there are other weakened points to other planes, then they could travel. He could explore! Not just magic-users who pop into the Ethereal Plane for brief moments, nor necromancers trying to break into the Astral Plane, no. Everyone.

Notes and ideas spill furiously from Logan’s mind, down through his arm and onto a thick, leather-bound journal. He lives off of caffeine and adrenaline as he completes his paper on Interplanar Travel, and not long after, he’s contacted by Thomas Sanders, the leader of the newly established Institute of Planer Research and Exploration (IPRE, for short).

Thomas offers him a position on the team of explorers that will be tasked with travelling across planes and, hopefully, beyond that at some point. He explains that although not too long ago, their world certainly didn’t have the technology, ever since the Light of Creation fell there’s been massive leaps in scientific advancement.

(Logan must have been holed up in his study during that time, as he has to pretend he knows exactly what his future boss is referencing.)

It’s everything Logan’s ever wanted, so of course, he accepts.

YEAR 0.

10 months later, and he meets his teammates. He’s already known and worked closely with Thomas (soon to be Captain Sanders) for the past few months, and he’s certainly earned Logan’s respect, but the rest of the team has some… shortcomings.

For one thing, he isn’t sure why they need two wizards who also double as cooks (Roman and Virgil) though he supposes the fact that they’re twins who seem to have done everything together makes them a package deal.

And, okay, he gets why they might need a cleric, but surely Patton could also double as the journalist (a young tiefling named Kalumnia), or vice-versa!

Also, if they have a ship that can withstand the heat of passing between two suns and the extremities of space, then why can’t they add a few weapons? Why do they need a security officer? Can’t the twins do magic?

He doesn’t have much time to convince Thomas to hire more fitting members (why not a maintenance crew?) because he meets all these people right before they’re given matching red robes with IPRE emblazoned on them and are told to walk onstage in front of the largest gathering of humans, elves, orcs, tieflings, dragonborns, etc. that Logan’s ever seen in his life.

He’s more than happy to let his Captain manage the questions from various reporters while he sits back and attempts to get to know his crewmates. After all, he’ll be living with them for a few months, possibly longer if the mission is a success. Might as well get comfortable.

“So,” Logan murmurs to the person he’s seated next to (Roman? Or maybe Virgil?), “why did you sign up for this?”

The high-elf casts a cursory glance in his direction as his twin whispers something in his ear, making him snort. They’re definitely laughing at Logan, which. Okay. He can deal with childish behaviour.

“Look! His ears are going red. You embarrassed him, Ro,” the furthest one says.

“I did not! You’re the one who made me laugh!” Roman retorts.

It’s a relief when Thomas calls him up to the podium.

“Salutations. My name is Logan and I’m the Science Officer of IPRE.” His voice rings out all around him and reporters call his name. He chooses one at random - a young human woman with wild hair.

“Hi, Linda from Phaethon Press here. I read your report on Interplanar Travel and I’ve been blown away with the progress you’ve made since!”

“Thank you.”

“Anyway, could you explain what you’re hoping to find or learn from your journey?”

Logan’s struck once more by how much he has to explore and a wide smile spreads over his features. “Well, not much is known about the other planes. The Ethereal Plane is usually only used for short periods of travel because of its ever-changing nature. To stay there too long would leave you clueless about how to get back to the Material Plane. And we all know about the Astral Plane, where the departed souls from our plane go. While we don’t have any concrete goals because of our limited knowledge, we do aim to explore the other 9 planes. We don’t know what we’ll find - maybe new life forms or energy or-”

Roman fakes a cough as he exclaims, none-too-quietly, “Nerd alert!”

Logan clears his throat. “Uh, so, we basically aim to explore and research the planes.”

“You don’t say,” he hears Virgil mutter.

God, he can’t imagine living with these people for the next few months.

The night before they leave is spent drinking onboard the newly-christened “Starblaster”. Logan makes a face every time he hears the name, but it was suggested by a drunk, giggly Roman and backed up by the equally intoxicated members of his team.

He wants to put as much distance as possible between himself and the twins, so he joins Patton and Kalumnia, who spends half the conversation listening and the other half writing down everything that’s happening. Logan has to admire her penmanship.

“Goodness, I wonder what other planes there are?” Patton wonders aloud.

Logan’s interest is piqued immediately. “Oh! I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot. We know there’s some sort of Celestial Plane because that’s where clerics draw their power from- though I suppose you already know that.”

“I do, but I don’t mind!” Patton smiles.

This guy is infinitely better than the twins, Logan decides. “So that, the Ethereal and the Astral are the planes that have the most impact on ours, so they must be closer or at least, larger and more prominent than the other planes. Therefore, the other planes aren’t likely to bear any sort of intelligent life, but the magic there could be completely different.” Magic that he might possess.

“That’s so cool!”

Kalumnia nods. Her bright, golden eyes watch Logan as he continues to talk, pointed ears perked. Patton asks questions and his own brilliant blue eyes widen whenever Logan mentions something he previously hadn’t known. Even Missy, the security officer Logan has avoided due to the scowl she wears, wanders over and joins the discussion.

For the first time in his life, Logan’s listened to. He could get used to this.

It turns out he could and should get used to it because as they leave Phaethon, a thick, suffocating darkness descends on it. They catch a glimpse of 11 other planes before black tendrils shoot out of their plane and pierce the others, and slowly drag it into its massive, incomprehensible form.

“Head for the rift!” Logan yells as his Captain maneuvers them through space.

Columns shoot out at them but the Starblaster dodges them with ease. Alarms blast, ringing sharp and shrill as they rocket towards the two suns, picking up speed each nanosecond.

He, Kalumnia, Thomas and the twins are huddled at the front, staring straight forward into the divide.

Patton and Missy are the only ones brave enough to watch as everything they’ve ever known, everyone they’ve ever loved, is consumed.

They just have to get to the rift. If they do that, they can break through to another plane. They can survive, they can run. They just have to get through, and they’re almost there, so close-

“Right!” Logan cries. Whatever’s attacking comes through the rift, barrelling straight for them.

Thomas jerks his controls to the right, tilting the ship so far that Logan crashes into the side.

His crewmates scream as they collide with something, sending them spiralling through space. Hungry black surrounds them, reaching out, trying to ensnare them and pull them in, but it only ends up flinging them in another direction.

“Change of plans!” Thomas yells, lifting his controls high, trying to break free.

The monster makes one last desperate grab, colliding with the bottom of their ship with a loud clang!

They’re flipped end over end, further and further from the rift. Further from the other planes. Logan’s head bounces off of hard metal, his body thrown around like a sack of bricks. There’s a snap, and then burning pain shoots through his right arm. His vision fades as the pain magnifies, becoming so intense it's unbearable. The panicked yells of his teammates seem so distant, but he manages to pick out a scream of “Roman!” and Patton making one last, desperate effort to heal them.

Black greets him soon after.

YEAR 1.

Pure, white light surrounds him. Threads of light stitch him together, restoring his body, and it’s not long before it unravels and reveals the rest of the IPRE members. Logan watches as its wisps are drawn away and disappear from sight, fading into the night sky. Except… he’s on the Starblaster’s deck. So it’s not the sky, it’s… It’s space.

There’s not a single scratch on any of them - apart from the battlescars Missy shows off proudly, but they had always been there. Nothing shows that they had just survived an attack on their home planet, unless… Unless they didn’t survive? Or Logan dreamt it? Or…

A sob breaks the stunned silence surrounding them. Virgil pushes past Logan as he runs toward Roman, tackling him to the floor.

“You died!” He screams. “You died. You were dead. I saw it; I saw your body in front of me, Ro. How are you- how could you-”

Roman pries his arms out from under Virgil and wraps them around his brother. “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here,” he murmurs, stroking Virgil’s purple hair. His eyebrows are knitted together, trying to remember what happened.

Logan does the same.

“Are we- did we die?” Patton whispers. “Where are we? Where’s Thomas?”

At that, Logan realises that there are only six of them. He bolts towards the cockpit. The rest of the team, barring the twins who seem content to fuss over each other, follow in hot pursuit.

The door slams open as the four of them charge through. There, at the controls, is their Captain.

He bolts out of his chair and spins around, hands raised as he readies a spell. When he sees his crew, his whole body relaxes and he goes limp. Missy rushes forward to steady him.

“You’re- you all disappeared,” Thomas breathes out as he’s lowered to the floor. “You all were taken by this- by this light, and then I was surrounded too! I came to back in this chair and you were all gone. I thought- I thought I was alone.” His voice drops to a whisper at the end there and even Logan has to inhale deeply to stop the panic that rises when he imagines being forever alone in space.

Patton grabs Logan’s wrist, pulling him towards Thomas and Missy, and Logan doesn’t fight it when he’s scooped into a hug.

Patton’s arms may not be able to reach around all of them, but they’re warm and comfy and remind him of his parents. At least they didn’t die at the hands of that… thing.

Logan’s the first to pull away. “We need to take stock of what we know and what we have. Our first priority is to figure out what that being was and if it’s going to attack us again. Then…” His gaze catches sight of a plane. And another. And another! Excitement stirs inside him. “Then we explore.”

It takes them around ten minutes to realise that the twelve planes they’re flying around are completely different from theirs. It takes Logan two days to draw the conclusion that by not jumping through the rift and being thrown off course, they somehow managed to enter a new… planar system? Reality? He couldn’t say.

Basically, there’s no going back home - if their world even still exists.

Roman and Virgil are the only ones who don’t seem to care at all.

Logan doesn’t know much about them (other than the fact that they delight in tormenting him) so he doesn’t want to judge, but their carefree attitude is somewhat rude to Patton, Missy and Thomas who are in mourning.

On the third day, they decide to test their luck on this new Material Plane. As Thomas eases the Starblaster into it, they’re greeted with luscious green forests and wide, stretching savannahs and grasslands and mountains-

The likelihood of that is astounding, and Logan spends quite some time with Kalumnia chronicling the biomes of this planet.

But that’s about where the similarities end. There are no oceans, though there are lakes and rivers, so water isn’t a problem. However, the fauna is even more interesting.

The population of this strange place is mostly made up of giant creatures that are up to ten, twenty, thirty times their tiny, Phaethonian frames.

“Now I’m not the only dwarf,” Patton jokes when they first hover above the planet, trying to find a safe place to land. Logan lets out a stunned laugh, but it's more from the joy of a new discovery than anything else.

That night, Logan lays on the deck of the Starblaster, admiring the countless new constellations and planes, all his to explore!

It’s so clear, up here on a mountain in an undeveloped world, far from artificial light sources. It’s serene, it’s beautiful, it’s-

“Ro, let him be a nerd in peace.” Virgil’s furious whisper cuts through the pristine air and immediately, Logan has a sour taste in his mouth.

“Hush, brother.”

Logan resolutely keeps gazing up at the stars, ignoring as Roman’s boots clack against the metal. He ignores it when they stop by his head, and he continues to pretend Roman doesn’t exist even when he plonks himself down beside him.

“You’re missing out on a glorious feast, you know,” Roman says at last.

Logan tries to detect the sarcasm or the hidden meaning, but he either needs to brush up on his social skills or there isn’t any. Which, coming from Roman, is impossible.

He slides his eyes to his left. In the starlight, Roman’s usual vibrant red robe and equally crimson hair are paler, softer. Instead of his constant smirk and perfect death stare, he seems almost wistful as he too stares into the sky. Logan tears his gaze away and clears his throat.

“I’m fine with freeze-dried cubes of nutrition.”

Roman laughs, and that too is gentle compared to the harsh delight Logan had committed to memory after only a few days. It’s hard not to memorise it when it’s being directed at you more often than not. “Weren’t you the one talking about rationing? C’mon, Lo, me and Virge went through all that effort to take down one of those beasts! Aren’t you going to at least try it?”

Maybe Roman just has a really annoying whiny-voice or maybe he’s hungrier than he thinks because Logan actually considers it. Then he remembers that they don’t know if the meat on this planet is even edible, let alone feast-worthy. “Who said you could call me Lo?” he replies instead. It comes out harsher than he intends.

Roman scoffs and jumps up on his feet. Logan frowns and looks up at him, only to find a scowl as Roman avoids his eyes. “Fine, whatever. Sorry for trying to include you, I guess.” The clacking of his shoes is considerably louder as Roman stomps back to his twin, who murmurs a quiet “I told you so.”

Logan’s insides squirm uncomfortably. Something in him urges him to apologise, but he fights back the feeling. He didn’t do anything wrong. He just wanted to ensure the food wasn’t going to kill him. What’s so wrong with trying to survive?

(Later that night, he sneaks into the kitchen and finds a plate with a slab of meat and a couple of roots. He throws away the note that reads “You’re welcome -R” and braces himself for the first forkful of his new diet. Instead of the strange, bland flavour Logan expected, when he bites into the mouth-wateringly tender meat, he’s met with an explosion of tastes. He can see why Thomas insisted on tasking both Roman and Virgil with cooking now.)

The Light of Creation falls early the next day. Logan misses it (again), but when he wakes up, it’s to Thomas flying the Starblaster at breakneck speed towards where it fell.

“Why has it come here?” Patton asks. No one has an answer.

They find it a few hours later, and already, the surrounding fauna looks… smarter?

There’s a cacophony of sound as a mixture of bleets, honks and moos turn into something singular, cohesive. It’s the sound of language.

“After only this much time?” Logan questions.

“Yeah, well. That’s kind of what happened in our- in Phaethon,” Thomas explains. “When it fell, it didn’t take long for people to start inventing things. You invented your little, uh, cylinder thing-”

“Telescope.”

“Yeah, telescope, when it fell.”

“It was a work in progress!”

“But you only perfected it after the Light, right?”

Logan can’t say for sure, so he stays silent. It’s not like it’s a bad thing to make scientific advancements, it’s just… He wanted it to happen from his own merit. Not because some mythical light suddenly gave him the ability to.

“So,” Virgil pipes up from where he’s leaning against the wall, “should we take it?”

“I really want to steal it,” Roman says.

Logan sighs. “Can we at least see what these animals do with it first?”

“No! I mean, yes, but we shouldn’t steal it,” Patton says, wide-eyed.

“It’s not stealing,” Virgil replies. “It’s not theirs.”

“But it’s not ours either!”

“Not until we take it.” Roman pats Thomas’ shoulder. “C’mon, Cap, let’s get this thing.”

They wait a week and then bring the Light onboard.

In the following months, Virgil and Roman rope Patton into learning the new animal language and over dinner, they talk in a series of grunts and honks that make Logan infuriated. He pretends he isn’t trying to figure it out by delving into the food (still as delicious as the first time, if not more) but at some point, Virgil and Roman confront him.

“Want us to teach you?” Roman asks, and Logan, pride be damned, nods.

Missy starts building herself a home. She gets Logan to make a saw and then she chops down a tree (and she only needs the one). After a month, she has a nice home that she and Kalumnia often stay in.

Patton studies the flora while Logan studies the fauna, and together they help Kalumnia with her chronicling of this world. Dwarves must have some connection with a nature god because the plants lean into Patton’s gentle touch. Flowers spring up underneath his fingers and he thrives out in the jungle.

Thomas remains on the ship, but he’s never alone. They meet up for dinner every night (Missy loves climbing a mountain every day, for some weird reason) and they talk about the progress they’re making in this world.

Logan can speak the language too now, and even though he hated it before, more often than not he, Roman, Virgil and Patton are communicating in it.

It’s a nice rhythm they’ve settled into. Logan thinks he could get used to this.

Another month passes. Everything goes to shit.

Patton notices it first. The grass is dull; the wind quiet. The sky is darker and the lakes are no longer a clear crystal blue. He tells the others about this and Logan wonders if it’s because of their ship, or their presence, or maybe the Light.

He’s answered a few hours later when the 13th plane arrives.

Its form is bigger this time. Darker. More violent. Shadows pierce down from the sky and form humanoid shapes - some short and stocky, some with pointed ears, some who look human - and Logan’s struck with a terrifying realisation that these shadows are people from Phaethon. Or, he should say, were.

Logan and Patton aren’t far from the ship, and the twins, although they like to explore, have been sticking close by recently. Kalumnia had already been in her study onboard, and Thomas is at the controls when Logan enters. Missy, however…

As Thomas brings the ship up into the sky, the rest of them search desperately for Missy. They know they can’t stay too long. This thing, this beast, it’s stronger. Smarter. They need to escape before one of the shimmering black columns pierces their ship and they’re bound to this plane.

“There!” Virgil cries, his elven eyes picking up Missy’s struggling form.

She’s fighting valiantly, taking out multiple shadows with just one swing of her axe. The animals around her stomp and charge, but it’s not enough.

“I can’t get close enough!” Thomas says, weaving the ship through the black.

“Fine!” Roman shouts, and then he runs out of the cockpit and onto the deck, then flings himself overboard.

Virgil rushes to the edge. “Bro, what the fuck?!” He calls, before he too leaps over the railing.

They see the twins float downwards, blasting off spells as they go, and it’s not long before they’re down there fighting with Missy.

Roman’s body becomes a force of fire, burning bright as he flings massive fireballs into the fray. Virgil summons a massive bolt of lightning and the resulting thunderclap is so loud it hurts Logan’s ears.

“We have to go,” Thomas murmurs. Logan and Patton’s heads whip to him. “We have to go, now!” He says more forcefully this time, and Patton starts arguing with him.

“We can’t leave them behind!”

“If we don’t leave then that’s just more carnage, more bodies for that thing to consume. We’re leaving.”

Logan has never, ever, heard such a cold voice coming from Thomas. But he understands.

“Look, Patton,” he begins, “when we left Phaethon, I died. And so did Roman. But we came back. I don’t know how, and I don’t know if it will keep happening, but we need to leave. Or else there’s no hope for them.”

Patton tries to argue, but Thomas is already flying them away, out of the Plane, then out of the Planar System. He doesn’t react when Patton pulls at his arms, trying to get him to turn around. He’s not cold, he’s calculating. Thomas- Captain Sanders is making an executive decision and Logan knows he can’t change it.

The black follows them, and he sees it withdrawing from the planet in favour of pursuit. The cogs in his head turn as the white threads from a year ago weaves around them again, and Logan manages to cry out “It wants the Light!” before he’s wrapped up entirely.

YEAR 2.

Logan wakes up on the deck of the Starblaster, Virgil behind him. Like last time.

He furrows his brows and races back to the cockpit, and sure enough, his captain is there.

When everyone piles in, Logan’s in the middle of theorising.

“Every time we leave a planar system, we’re brought back to our original positions,” Logan says, mostly to himself but Kalumnia starts to transcribe what he’s saying in her journal. “That thing-”

“The Hunger!” Roman supplies.

“Not your most creative name.”

“Got a better one, Virge?”

“Fine, the Hunger wants the Light of Creation. When we left with the Light, it left the planes alone and tried to follow us. When did the Light fall on Phaethon?”

“About a year before the Hunger came,” Kalumnia murmurs.

“And it was about a year after the Light that the Hunger found us on that plane, too!” Logan clasps his hands together and straightens up. “Is there a blackboard on this ship?”

Kalumnia nods and leads them to her study, then wordlessly hands Logan a piece of chalk.

It’s the first time Logan has been in here, and he’s blown away by the countless journals and books from their home planet that remain on the sturdy oak bookshelves. There are also sketches pinned to a corkboard, mostly depicting the strange life they had encountered on the other planet. They’re only sketches, but the extraordinary amount of detail blows him away. How had Kalumnia kept this to herself all this time?

He shakes his head and gets to work. “So, what do we know?” He asks, then divides the board in two. He labels one column “Already Know” and the other “Need to Know”, then scribbles some notes in the former.

“The Hunger’s shadows looked like Phaethonians,” Missy says.

“Yeah, but they could change their form at will. I would blast one with fire and the black would disperse before coming together as a new Phaethonian.”

“It was stronger this time,” Virgil adds, shaking ever so slightly. Roman wraps an arm around him.

Logan nods and continues scrawling. “That means that when it consumes a plane, it adds it to its… collection. Its army.”

“We just left a plane full of massive creatures! How are we supposed to fight that?!” Roman exclaims.

“Well, no. As I said previously, when we left, it followed us. It started to withdraw from the Plane.”

Patton turns to Logan. “You mentioned the Light before we- we reformed. Why would it want that?”

He shrugs. “That’s why we have a Need to Know column,” he answers, then adds that exact question to the board.

“A better question,” Virgil steps forward and takes the chalk from Logan, “is how are we reforming?” He looks around expectantly.

“There’s this light that surrounds us - almost like thread.”

“I think I know what that is,” Captain Sanders says at the same time Kalumnia adds, “It’s the Bond Engine.”

Seeing their blank looks, both of them shake their head.

“We’ve been living on this ship for a year. How do you not know what the Bond Engine is?” Kalumnia has a rare smile on her face as she and the Captain launch into an explanation.

“The Bond Engine doesn’t use any fuel, it runs on bonds.”

“Bonds are what tie us to the Planar System. They’re the experiences and the connections we have to the planes, and it allows us to travel between them without the risk of ending up in a black hole.”

“How come we were able to leave both Phaethon’s System and the other one?” Patton asks.

Kalumnia and Thomas shrug, but Logan’s quick to reply. “It must be the Hunger. We haven’t been able to leave any Planar System until it comes. It must… cut our bonds with the planes. That would mean we don’t have ties to the Astral Plane, so if we die, we don’t go there. Instead, the Bond Engine brings us back onto the ship, in our original positions.”

“So what I’m hearing is,” Roman begins with a grin that he shares with Virgil, “we’re basically immortal, right?”

“No, because we do still die, we just come back-”

“Technicalities, technicalities,” Roman dismisses. “Anyway, this year I’m going to do some wild shit!”

“If you die on me, I’m going to be so fucking pissed,” Virgil threatens, but he also seems excited to be able to do whatever without consequences.

The Light falls into an ocean. They’re unable to retrieve it when the Hunger comes and instead, fly away as soon as they see its black pillars descend. Call them cowards, but at least there wasn’t much life on this planet to begin with. If there was any, it’s all gone now.

YEAR 5.

Logan hadn’t meant to become friends with the twins. It’s more like that they decided they were going to hang out with him, and he hasn’t been able to shake them since.

He finds he doesn’t mind, which is a feat in and of itself, considering he hasn’t had friends for the roughly four decades he had been alive for.

One night, they’re stargazing. Well, Logan is.

Roman and Virgil are wrestling each other next to him and surprisingly, Virgil wins.

“How are you so strong?” Roman whines, flexing his arms to show off his quite impressive muscles.

Virgil shrugs. “I chug my bone juice,” he replies, and Logan decides not to question what he means by that. “Do you give up yet?”

Roman laughs and charges Virgil. His momentum carries him forward and he crashes into his twin, then he swipes his leg out from under him and pins Virgil to the ground. “Take that!”

“Oof, my bones,” he deadpans, and Roman helps him up.

“Are you two done?” Logan asks.

Instead of insulting him, like they would’ve done five years ago, they nod and sit beside him. Logan’s chest flutters when Roman leans into him easily, knee gently bumping his own every now and again.

“So,” Virge begins, and judging by the glint in both his and Roman’s eyes, Logan has a right to be worried.

“We were thinking,” Roman continues, “that we don’t know much about you.”

“And we know everything about each other!”

“So why not tell us about yourself?”

Logan sighs. “What do you want to know?”

Virgil considers this, then asks, “Do you have a last name?”

“No.”

“Cool,” Roman says, “It’s Bluejeans now.”

“What?” Logan splutters. “You can’t just give people last names! And these jeans are comfortable and practical!”

“Whatever you say, Mr Bluejeans, sir,” Virgil mock salutes.

Logan tries to argue with them, but it’s clear he’s getting nowhere. “Fine! Have it your way, Virgil… Purplehoodie.”

Virgil laughs, and okay, it wasn’t his best work, but it’s not like Bluejeans is any better. “So what? Roman and I are twins. Does that make him Roman Purplehoodie? I don’t see a fucking hoodie, nor anything purple. That doesn’t make sense, Lo.”

Logan doesn’t react to the nickname. Instead, he exclaims, “Neither does Bluejeans!”

“You wear blue jeans!” Roman protests.

“And your brother wears a purple hoodie!”

“Not all the time!”

“Almost all the time!”

“Oi, keep it down!” Missy shouts from somewhere inside the ship. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“Don’t worry, we’re just playing card games in here!” Patton tells them.

“They ain’t need to know that!”

Even though Missy was bluffing, they stop arguing.

“Do I get to ask a question now?”

“Fine, shoot Mr Bluejeans.”

“I’m never going to get rid of that name, am I?” Both Virgil and Roman shake their heads. “Alright. Can I ask a question now?”

The twins glance at each other and shrug. “Seems fair.”

Logan ponders for a moment. He doesn’t really have any burning questions, but he supposes there had been one thing he was always curious about. “Are you two identical?”

Virgil’s gaze flashes to Roman, then back at Logan. The movement is so quick he almost misses it.

Roman leans back on his palms and puts on an easy smile. Logan knows that he’s only pretending, but he doesn’t get the chance to backpedal before Roman answers him. “Nope,” he pops the p.

Logan waits a moment, then opens his mouth when no explanation follows, but Roman must have changed his mind about how much he wants to share.

“I’m trans,” he blurts. Logan watches as Virgil’s arm snakes around his brother and studies Logan for his reaction.

He doesn’t miss a beat as he says, “Oh, but you look too alike to not be identical.” It’s awkward and kind of clumsy, but he genuinely means it in an “I thought you were identical twins” way and not a “How can you possibly look so masculine?” way. Virgil and Roman seem to pick up on it, at least.

“Genetics, dumbass,” Virgil replies, and the three of them laugh. “Honestly, the scientist should know this!”

“I’m an astrophysicist, not a biologist.”

“Those words? Fake.”

“You can’t call words fake.”

“All words are fake!” Roman and Virgil retort at the same time.

Logan goes to argue. Then he considers it. And okay, maybe they have a point. Especially their words. He’s not sure if they’ll find another Planar System that speaks Common - or any of Phaethon’s languages, in fact. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to learn the others’ languages though, so he gathers up the courage to ask a second question.

“Would you two mind teaching me Elven?”

YEAR 12.

It’s a good thing he’s fluent in Elven now, because this new place is entirely elves. It’s literally called Elfington.

He and the twins have no problem fitting in, and to their surprise, neither does Kalumnia.

She shrugs and with an abashed smile she admits, “I know all of Phaethon’s languages.”

Roman and Virgil share a wide-eyed look. “That’s how you always knew about our pranks!”

“We thought you were a mindreader or something!” Roman adds.

Kalumnia laughs. “I do know that spell, but I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that.”

That year, he and the twins almost exclusively talk to each other. Kalumnia joins in on their exploits around town, and Logan notes that she’s much less reclusive than at the beginning of their journey. He supposes over a decade of selective company would result in that.

Wait. Holy shit. Had they really been doing this for a decade?

Logan catches a glimpse of himself in a store window. At fifty, he expects wrinkles around his eyes like the ones Patton’s had since day one, but no. There aren’t creases in his forehead, no grey hairs, nothing. For all intents and purposes, he hasn’t changed one bit.

Maybe Roman and Virgil weren’t too far off when they joked about immortality.

“And they call me vain!” Roman huffs as he comes to stand beside him. Despite his comment, he leans in to fix his hair in the reflection, running his slender fingers through newly-dyed red. It’s like this at the beginning of every cycle, and for the past week they’ve been on Elfington, all Roman has talked about were the hairdressers and the possibility of dye.

Logan’s friend is always excited when they begin a new year just because he gets the colour back in his hair. He suspects Virgil shares the same enthusiasm, but at least he doesn’t talk his ear off about how he should be able to invent dye when it starts to fade. For starters, he’s an astrophysicist, and secondly, he’s busy, thank you very much.

He wants to study the Light. Considering it has such a big impact on both the Starblaster crew and whatever plane it falls on, they need to learn more about it. Maybe one of these cycles, they can find a way to fight off the Hunger.

Logan doesn’t know how that would work, but this new world that’s positively teeming with life renews his motivation. He doesn’t want to see them get destroyed. He doesn’t want them to fall to the Hunger.

They’ve already recovered it so he wastes no time in setting up experiments.

Around the second month, Roman starts popping into the Starblaster to “make sure he isn’t nerding too hard” (his words, not Logan’s). At first, it’s only for a few minutes. Roman asks a few questions about what he’s doing, Logan responds with questions about what he and Virge have been up to, and then Roman goes back to Elfington.

As time passes, Roman grows more and more keen to help. It gets to the point where Roman and Logan do their experiments together. Kalumnia records for them, keeping track of what they’ve found (the Light of Creation emits waves of some form of energy) and what they need to know (what the fuck is that energy). Missy mostly makes sure that the pair eat and drink when necessary, occasionally throwing them over her shoulder and dragging them to bed.

Even Captain Sanders checks in on their progress (and with the two of them working together, it’s truly remarkable)!

The only one who keeps his distance is Virgil.

Logan finds out the reason for this on their tenth month.

It’s a typical afternoon. Logan had visited Elfington for last-minute supplies, and he had been carrying armfuls of metal parts and spell components when he heard low voices around the corner, where his newly-appointed lab was.

He pauses. He quickly figures that one must be Roman (he had told him to go ahead, but he must have wanted to wait) and therefore the other is Virgil. He considers making his presence known, but it sounds like they’re arguing. And the twins never do that.

He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, honestly.

“I know why you’re doing this,” Virgil hisses. “You want to stay here.”

“I do not! And even if I did, what’s wrong with that? We haven’t had a home since we were fucking twelve, why can’t you just settle down?”

“This isn’t about that and you know it.” When Virgil continues to speak, his voice loses the anger and instead takes on a much softer tone. “Roman, we have the Light. There’s nothing else we can do for them.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do! In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been doing this thing for over a decade. We either get the Light and some people die, or we don’t and everything gets consumed by the Hunger. We’ve tried fighting it, we’ve died, and honestly, I don’t give a shit about the planes anymore!”

“How can you say that?” Roman murmurs. Logan’s equally surprised by that revelation.

“Look,” Virgil sighs. “We’ve been to like, four planets with life on it. And each time, we decide it’s a grand idea to make friends! Why not build our bonds? But at the end of the year, it’s the same thing. We fly away and we watch those people get torn apart into nothing. They’re dust. We’ve only had each other for so long, and you and the other five people on this ship are the only people I can count on. Everyone else? They’re dust, Roman. If we see them as anything else, we only get our hearts broken. And I can’t take that. Not for however long we’re stuck on this ship, going through the motions.”

Roman’s silent for a long time. Eventually, though, he says, “You’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re lying,” he repeats, more forcefully. “You can try and pretend like you don’t care, but I’ve seen you with those kids. I know you care about them as much as I do. And I know you’ll fight for them at the end of the year.”

“Because they’re us, Ro!” Virgil’s outburst shocks Logan. He knows he definitely shouldn’t be listening at this point, but he’s frozen in place. “I mean, seriously? Two elven siblings, living on the road? When I see them, all I see is me and you as preteens forcing ourselves to entertain sickos by streetfighting just so we can eat. All I see is you giving me your one jumper because you know I hate the cold even though you were freezing just as much. All I see is us fighting over who should have the last scrap of food, not because we wanted it, but because we wanted the other to eat. So, of course, I’m going to fight for them. But at the end of the day, if it comes to saving you or saving those children, there’s no choice.”

Logan hears Virgil stomp the opposite way and when he’s sure Roman’s alone, he steps into the corridor.

Roman’s back is to him. Logan takes another cautious step forward, then another, and as he gets closer, he can see how he’s shaking. Roman’s fists are clenched at his sides, head hanging low.

“Roman?”

Roman straightens his back and raises one hand to his face. Logan can’t see what he’s doing, but when the hand comes back wet and Roman turns around with red eyes and a watery smile, he can hazard a guess.

“Hey, Lo!” he greets, far too cheery. “Let’s get to work!”

He doesn’t have time to ask what’s wrong because Roman grabs his arm and pulls him into the lab. All day, he interrupts Logan when he goes to offer comfort, and his smile is too wide, too forced. Logan doesn’t understand why he feels sad too.

At the end of the year, Roman pulls all-nighters alongside Logan. He and Virgil have long since made up, but his brother still steers clear of the lab. Logan doesn’t blame him - he’s never heard the pair fight before, and he’s sure it’s something they want to avoid.

Roman’s project that he had Logan helping him with is almost complete. It radiates a golden hue and its form almost replicates the Light exactly. It’s far from perfect, but it might just work. At this point, that’s all they can really hope for.

When the Hunger comes, they’re ready. Roman and Logan order Thomas to bring the ship over a mostly empty country (some mountains bordering an ocean) and they fling the fake Light down, watching as it splashes in the water. Immediately, the black smog that was chasing them dives down.

The Starblaster uses this chance to dart away, hurtling through the skies at breakneck speeds and it's not long until they breach Elfington’s atmosphere. The Hunger chases them, having figured out what they’ve done, and it seems angrier, more determined.

Little darts of black break free of its form and head for the ship, determined to bring them down. Thomas banks right, then left, before dipping down low. The other IPRE members have long since learnt their lesson about seatbelts, but they do rub at their necks during this process.

Roman and Logan share a smile. Most of Elfington was saved. Not just some, most.

Maybe they can win.

A/N That was the first part of Infinitesimal! If you enjoyed it, feel free to ask questions/scream to me about it because this is possibly one of my favourite concepts and I will take any opportunity to talk about it.

I hope I was clear with the whole Planary System stuff. If not, there’s more of an explanation coming in the following parts as well as some romance and maybe a touch of necromancy! Who knows? ;)

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