#like every time i try a new site its just not even fun to use 😭

[feketeribizli]

okay wait marci questions. how does he feel about media stuff? press, sponsored posts, the obligatory slash forced social media goofing etc. actually what's his social media presence like in general. also does he have pets..... did he grow up idolising anyone currently on the grid? how does he feel about racing his childhood heroes if yes? also, what's his favourite colour? capping it here but i want it known that he has eaten my brain 👍

hiii thank youuuu absolute bangers from you as always mwuah mwuah ��🫶

nearly wrote a thousand words LMAO im putting a readmore somewhere to save yall... thank you for your time everyone 🫡

with all the live cockslip talk i thought itd be fun to delve into his social media presence for real... team and personal brand posting he doesnt mind per say, he got that goober in him that doesnt take oneself too seriously so hopping on silly trends hes almost looking forward to it. aston socials esp their tiktok is like my fave thing in the world lol id love to see him recreate the adam security & gf trend with padre

marci mostly uses instagram and its a mess... i barely follow any drivers but ive noticed they almost always got a certain aesthetic they try to keep up and well. marci dgaf. theyd try to put some color grading filter on the first photo in his dumps so at least theres some harmony to his page but its atrocious

he obviously has an official account on every other site but its usually for stuff his management posts on there (and an empty tiktok profile where his reposts are public. surely nothing weird or suspicious to see)

back to press and shit... hes not a fan 🧍‍♂️ he prefers the scripted stuff and when he can have like three takes to say something cause when its just him and twenty cameras broadcasting live... he still gets nervous and then the accent slips in and he stumbles his speeches and words things in a way people could twist what he said around easily (moment of silence and empathy for little lando norris). hes a small scale driver so the world doesnt hang on every word he says but yknow how it is

oh now im yapping like crazyyy... this part could get a whole new post but its kinda media related and ive been thinking and wanna talk about it a bit... if youve read this far kisses xx 😘

but yeah since im inserting marci into the canon events of real life theres bound to be loud media frenzy around his arrival especially since its aston. and in lances place (gotta work more on this but i was thinking lance has a kinda bad crash somewhere in the beginning of the 2024 season and my guy gets summoned out of thin air colapinto style to fill his place in until recovery but out of nowhere lance is like id like to temporarily step back lol 😋✌️ and the world explodes and marc is full time employed now)

and like idk how the hungarian public would react to a hun on the grid after twenty years (hes faggy so id care. otherwise idgaf about hungarian athletes for the most part) but that combined with the guy the world seems to hate a lot finally stepping down (NOT ME LANCE I LOVE YOU this is me trying to help this is me putting you in good situations) the commotion would be a major event with marcis name in the tabloids for a bit

all im trying to say is that his f1 entry would probably be very overwhelming and hes this shy guy no one has ever heard about before blabbering at stupid fucking press questions while glued to fernandos side. who is he whats his deal

ok lets put a hold on media for now 🧍‍♂️ as for pets... an old bernese back at home :-) marci kind of grew up with her (as much as he was at home. or the country even)... management posting ten-year-old marci at his first karting event with the puppy in his hands and then twenty-year-old marci after his first grand prix facetiming his family in the aston garages with the dog on the phone too... ack

about idols... his big thing is michael schumacher i know that for sure. marc generally looks up to everyone and has immense respect for most drivers. the more i think about it the more im like maybe bro got a thing for psychosexual warfare kinda drivers (schumi, vettel, alonso...) like yayyy to on and off track terrorism when its not aimed at me 😁

confession i kind of made him to deal with my conflicting feelings about aston martin as a whole lol and well. anyway he still shivers hot and bothered sometimes when fernando is around. gets a bit self conscious about it too but nothing that taking it up in the ass couldnt fix

fave color is greeeeen 😁 as i said match made in heaven with aston. team merch is glued to his body

WHEWH what an essay and i dont even know if im making sense lol ! marci is taking shape and becoming rock solid in my head im very happy about it 😋🫶 shoutout again to everyone intrigued i love cooking up the guy im having sooo much fun ‼️💥❣️

[downsteepy]

it genuinely sucks so much how it feels like there's not a single place to safely post art anymore. it feels like any safe website just eventually veers into being in talks with things like midjourney or just allowing ai art on the site in general. i really don't want to start all over on a new website that i don't even know will stay up for that long

[the-punforgiven]

I love when you see some armor in like a drawing or a comic or whatever and just have that moment of "I know exactly what real life armor set you based that one on lmao"

[nowoyas]

Trying to make sense of the Nanowrimo statement to the best of my abilities and fuck, man. It's hard.

It's hard because it seems to me that, first and foremost, the organization itself has forgotten the fucking point.

Nanowrimo was never about the words themselves. It was never about having fifty thousand marketable words to sell to publishing companies and then to the masses. It was a challenge, and it was hard, and it is hard, and it's supposed to be. The point is that it's hard. It's hard to sit down and carve out time and create a world and create characters and turn these things into a coherent plot with themes and emotional impact and an ending that's satisfying. It's hard to go back and make changes and edit those into something likable, something that feels worth reading. It's hard to find a beautifully-written scene in your document and have to make the decision that it's beautiful but it doesn't work in the broader context. It's fucking hard.

Writing and editing are skills. You build them and you hone them. Writing the way the challenge initially encouraged--don't listen to that voice in your head that's nitpicking every word on the page, put off the criticism for a later date, for now just let go and get your thoughts out--is even a different skill from writing in general. Some people don't particularly care about refining that skill to some end goal or another, and simply want to play. Some people sit down and try to improve and improve and improve because that is meaningful to them. Some are in a weird in-between where they don't really know what they want, and some have always liked the idea of writing and wanted a place to start. The challenge was a good place for this--sit down, put your butt in a chair, open a blank document, and by the end of the month, try to put fifty thousand words in that document.

How does it make you feel to try? Your wrists ache and you don't feel like any of the words were any good, but didn't you learn something about the process? Re-reading it, don't you think it sounds better if you swap these two sentences, if you replace this word, if you take out this comma? Maybe you didn't hit 50k words. Maybe you only wrote 10k. But isn't it cool, that you wrote ten thousand words? Doesn't it feel nice that you did something? We can try again. We can keep getting better, or just throwing ourselves into it for fun or whatever, and we can do it again and again.

I guess I don't completely know where I'm going with this post. If you've followed me or many tumblr users for any amount of time, you've probably already heard a thousand times about how generative AI hurts the environment so many of us have been so desperately trying to save, about how generative AI is again and again used to exploit big authors, little authors, up-and-coming authors, first time authors, people posting on Ao3 as a hobby, people self-publishing e-books on Amazon, traditionally published authors, and everyone in between. You've probably seen the statements from developers of these "tools", things like how being required to obtain permission for everything in the database used to train the language model would destroy the tool entirely. You've seen posts about new AI tools scraping Ao3 so they can make money off someone else's hobby and putting the legality of the site itself at risk. For an organization that used to dedicate itself to making writing more accessible for people and for creating a community of writers, Nanowrimo has spent the past several years systematically cracking that community to bits, and now, it's made an official statement claiming that the exploitation of writers in its community is okay, because otherwise, someone might find it too hard to complete a challenge that's meant to be hard to begin with.

I couldn't thank Nanowrimo enough for what it did for me when I started out. I don't know how to find community in the same way. But you can bet that I've deleted my account, and I'll be finding my own path forward without it. Thanks for the fucking memories, I guess.

[maxwellatoms]

I bought a Gartenmeister Fuchsia plant for my birthday back in January. It was a centerpiece all winter long, but recently it started looking a bit sickly. I'm not a "green" gerdener anymore (haha), but I am also by no means a master. I think it was infected with powdery mildew, but I also convinced myself it was spider mites. I try to keep things all -natural out there, so I dried it out and sprayed it with some neem oil after pruning it back a bit. I really should've pruned off all of the infected bits, but I didn't want to lose the flowers.

I did that a few more times, unable to commit to a hard prune because I kept telling myself "I don't know what I'm doing, so maybe it's not sick. Maybe it'll fix itself. Sure would be nice to have those flowers back." I finally gave up and cut it to the bone yesterday, but yesterday was too late. I had to remove every single leaf because I dithered for too long. It's probably not going to make it.

I feel the same way about our culture. US culture. Western culture (though its really a global problem). The Entertainment Industry. The Media. It's sick. We probably need some rather serious surgery to fix the problem, but we just will not see a doctor. To see a doctor would be to admit there's a problem, and for some that is the greatest sin of the 21st Century. Maybe some of us are just hoping the system will recover on its own so we can have our pretty flowers back.

For me, it was around 2010 or so when I first started to smell something "off". The symptoms had certainly been around a while. This was just when I noticed. This was when I got my first, "Hey, let's not make fun of corporations" note. It's when The History Channel stopped airing stuff about history in favor of aliens because that's where the money was. And rather than rebranding, they just left it as "History", encouraging future generations to believe whatever they felt like. This was also about when traditional news outlets started skewing to clickbait in order to compete with sites that were clearly 100% not legitimate news sites. Again, as long as the money is right it's "just entertainment" and you' can're welcome to believe it if it means you'll watch more.

I'm all-in on Dead Internet Theory now. The disparity between what major news media outlets will report and what you see from actual people on Tumblr or Threads or Reddit is pretty shocking. And those sites are already compromised by bots and bad actors. The tools exist now to actively bamboozle millions of people, and I have no doubt we're already seeing some of this now. In six months or a year you'll find out it (whatever it was) never happened or was generated by an LLM. The time to stop listening to anyone online was a year ago.

Trust no one.

Not even me!

It's cultural rot. It's spreading faster and faster, and I'm not sure what happens when we get to the end of this ride. Actually, I AM sure what happens. If we don't prune back hard now, then the rot takes over. Best-case, you clip the infected branches off too late and it takes years to recover. Worst case? Nature soldiers on but the plant succumbs to infection and dies completely, replaced (eventually) by something that can actually hack it in that spot.

When humans produce art and information, and then comment on that art and information by producing more art and information, we call it "culture". We're moving toward a time when the vast majority of art and ideas we get out eyes on won't be created by humans. Or at the very least won't be created with the purpose of commenting on or enriching the organic human experience. When that happens, what will we call it? What will remain of our culture?

[velvetvexations]

I’m. So baffled by that one dude saying that trans men being able to pretend to be women is a privilege, because in his tags he says that it’s a thing specific to transmascs. Does he mean pretending to be cis as a means of safety is a transmasc specific thing?? Because uh, I’m… pretty sure that’s something that can be done regardless of a trans person’s gender? There are transfems and nonbinary people who can also pretend to be cis [whatever their agab was], too?

Its also not a privilege. Having to hide what you are out of fear isn’t a fucking privilege lmao

strangely people understand that when it's about trans women

just saw a post on my dash saying "'infighting' is a dogwhistle which frames transfems as aggressors". i really hope the tide is turning like you said, bc this shit is getting exhausting and im still seeing it from random people i follow who otherwise gave no indication that they drank the koolaid.

they make me out to be the aggressor all the time!

Nazi imagery anon here

These are the pics I was referring to.

As you can see it’s posted on the verified border security account and you can see two different nazi symbols on him :(

yeah it looks like standards for what they allow soldiers to adorn themselves with are low and the person taking and posting the pics aren't paying good enough attention because that guy also straight up has a naked anime bitch on his knife sheath

as I said this is an individual thing and they need to start knocking their heads together like the Three Stooges and sending them into trenches first

You know who saying that th**fab is actually a storied term that trans fems have been using to identify transmisogonists is fucking insane like girl that's such obvious lie give us nothing

they aren't even trying

It’s crazy how almost every other day on this site I see a new post with like 50k notes talking about how absolutely NOBODY deserves to be harassed, sent death threats or be put on blast yet once again I’m seeing people trying to justify the harassment of another transmasc teenager. Honestly people should just start openly admitting Tumblr is becoming increasingly hostile towards trans masculine individuals, I don’t see clownery on this level on any other platform-

Tumblr...is really bad.

I think the reason why this whole headcanons discourse bothers me so much is that is really is just fuelled by petty spite. Like all these characters are cisgender in canon. We make headcanons because it’s FUN to expand on characters in ways that reflect our different life experiences in whatever form that may take. Intentionally going after transmascs, especially young transmascs, for doing this with characters like they like and accusing them of all these different things genuinely does just feel like bigotry. Who cares if a head canon may not make the most amount of sense? It’s a cisgender fictional character we’re playing around with! Why does it have to be some grand act of activism to say blorbo number 3 is transmasc? We have much bigger fish to fry here.

exactly it's such dedication to not letting anyone else have anything

So sick of people acting like trans men are the same as cis men under the patriarchy and moreso im really sick of the "you're privileged to not be surrounded by men". Like, for lack of better phrasing, saying that about a group of people that is generally perceived as "failure women" pre transition (and sometimes during and post) is a little tone deaf. All about acknowledging how women and people perceived as women are harmed by misogyny until the ones perceived are men. Gender essentialism is ugly and tasteless and nonsensical. Please feel free to delete this im just rambling without a point

rambling is okay anon <3

„wow ur so privileged to not fear men”

i fear the fucking everyone asshole, i just realized that isnt everyone elses fault so i should still treat them with respect !!!!!

that woman called me a "self-hating doll" and I hate the second part a lot more than the first

[haletostilinski]

What's my next poll(s)? Well, a ship battle, of course.

Now that we've got our Ultimate Sterek Moment, it's time to move onto a new set of polls. A ship battle. An ultimate ship battle. So, a few things first:

I tried to come up with as MANY ships as I could. I managed to come up with 128. Yes, that many. This is the ship battle to end all ship battles, I guess! Some are a bit out there or more 'meh' but I wanted to try to include as many as I could. I even scoured the internet a bit to find some more out there ships people ship to add them to the list. There are also some poly/threesome ships included in this, as I wanted to be inclusive to those ships as well.

I tried to keep the most popular canon/fanon ships far apart from each other on the bracket to try to keep them away from competing against each other too early. That said, if it somehow ends with with two big ships against each other a bit too early...well, oh well. It is what it is. And also, for the rest of the ships I let the site I used just kinda put them in a random order.

WARNING: Obviously, NO SHIP HATE IN THESE POLLS. Keep it civil! You can disagree with the winners if you're bummed yours didn't get through to the next round/didn't win, of course, but don't go hating on the other ship or its shippers. Also no fighting amongst each other, either. That will not be tolerated and if I see that I will either delete the comment if I can/give a warning/block the user/or if it's too many people going too far I will shut this WHOLE thing down. This is meant to be fun and not serious. Remember that, please.

No ship and shipper hate ANYWHERE, on ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM. Not on twitter, tiktok, freaking youtube or instagram, wherever.

HATE WHILE LINKING TO AND ASSOCIATING WITH MY POLLS which could mean quoting or replying to someone linking to my poll! - WILL NOT BE TOLERATED

Also, it should go without saying, although there is no true evidence of this, but I remembered that in the last poll I did on twitter, a Thiam shipper or shippers ended up botting for it. Although this doesn't just go for Thiam, but anyone - although truly so far these polls have felt genuine and unbotted and I don't truly suspect anyone will going forward. BUT just incase: If there is ANY significant spike in the votes from now on, in a very short period of time - like say jumping 10% points or something in like an hour of time or something - I will assume botting has taken place. If someone is making more than 1 account on tumblr to vote, i.e. fake accounts, that is also cheating and THAT SHIP WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED. Again, I don't suspect ANYONE (this round) of doing it at the moment, not truly and don't think anyone will. BUT it's a good rule to put forth JUST INCASE.

There are some weird/out there/ships maybe some have never heard of in this, because I tried to think of as many as I could (and even then, I don't think I got every teen wolf ship out there) to be as inclusive as I could. Please refrain from making mean comments/laughing at/hating on a ship that's included that's not a more normal ship in the fandom, thank you. If you're bewildered by a ship, just keep comments to a very nice and polite "huh?" As I said above, I will shut this whole thing down if there is too much judgement/hate/etc...

ALL of these ships are meant in a ROMANTIC way, no other way. So vote which one you think is better in a ROMANTIC way, not a platonic way. Even if you don't ship it. If you don't like either and really don't want to vote for either or, then it's okay not to vote in that specific poll.

Because this is a ship battle, there will be two ships per poll. So you're about to see a LOT of poll posts from me...just a warning if you're wondering why there's going to be continued ship poll posts from me 😭

As always, every poll will have a 1 week duration. I will show the brackets as they stand below. And after every round, I will show the updated version, pinned to my blog if you're curious to see every winner of every round.

Lastly, have fun! Let's see what ship lands on top 😎

Here are the brackets - ignore the numbers on them, the site I used just did that🤷‍♀️ (and you'll have a pretty good idea who the winners will be up against next round as well). I will start posting the polls momentarily (but might not get all of them up right away, that might be staggered.)

[lostaroace]

Volunteer | Aaron Hotchner x Reader

My Fanfic Masterlist | Multifandom

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Reader: no use of YN, reader is a doctor, no precise description of gender or physique of reader.

Summary: You were a volunteer for the soccer team Aaron Hotchner coaches. When you decide to bite the bullet and ask the man out, he rejects you in what you felt was a humiliating manner. As you're trying to get used to your new life without seeing Hotch every week, you get called to help with a hostage situation as they need a doctor on site. The BAU is there.

NOTE: The summary is awful but I had no idea what to say without making spoilers.

Content Warning: hurt/comfort, hostage situation, inaccurate medical procedures, inaccurate baby delivery situation, explicit labor, medical complications, and lots of blood. Again, highly inaccurate, don't come at me with your medical degrees, I'm a historian, not a doctor.

Words: 6695

Rating: Explicit (Look CW)

Volunteer | Oneshot

Soccer had always been an easy sport to introduce to children in the US, that's why Haley Hotchner played with her son at any given time since he was three. Spending his fourth birthday in hiding was tough for them and Aaron could see that. When Jack kept watching the same tape repeatedly, Aaron decided to sign his son into a soccer team.

Belonging to a team gave Jack another social group away from school and an understanding of teamwork and camaraderie. It was also the perfect excuse for Aaron to keep his phone away and focus solely on his son on the weekends. Naming it an excuse might seem inappropriate, but for Aaron, having a semi-structured schedule to drive his free time helped him to push the work aside, avoiding hyper-focusing on the paperwork he took from the bureau. His implication with the team drove the other parents to ask him to coach the team, a proposition that he accepted with the assistance of his best friend, David Rossi.

Things were fine overall.

Then you showed up one weekend with Jessica who introduced you as the volunteer who was going to take care of the children's health. Aaron did his best to control his microexpressions but the sparkling look Jessica gave him behind your back spoke volumes to him.

When Jessica Brooks told you about the infant soccer league you looked at her with an arched eyebrow. You've finally graduated from med school and work as a doctor in the ER of a hospital. After three years there, it felt like your own home and the staff you worked with were your family. Jessica had become a new addition to the hospital's cafeteria, and she was so approachable and extroverted that it was easy for her to bond with the other members of the personnel.

Of course, you knew about the tragedy that hit her family when her sister was murdered leaving a child behind, and you've met Jack on several occasions. Yet, you were unable to pin down the moment, the insinuation, or the interaction that made Jessica corner you at the end of your shift to ask you if you'd be interested in volunteering your medical abilities for her nephew's soccer team.

"It's mostly scratches or sprained ankles at its worse," she insisted. "A little bird had told me you ought to socialize away from the hospital. It will be great for you!"

"Jessica…"

"Listen, Jack's dad has accepted to be the team's coach, and although I know that it has been a ruse of the soccer moms to ogle him every Sunday morning, he's going to take it seriously. Not like, he's going to be focused on winning every single match. They don't even keep scores for that age group. What I mean is that Aaron is going to concentrate on making it fun for the children, but also safe, and his medical knowledge is limited."

"You just said it's mostly scratches and sprained ankles. You don't need a doctor for that."

"Come on!! It'll be fun!!"

"Are you trying to set me up with him or something?"

Jessica scoffed, "He's way too old for you. I highly doubt you find him anything else than stern and intimidating. However, there are younger single parents. All I'm saying is that you should spend time with people away from these walls."

You cave in, as might be expected.

Aaron Hotcher was stern and pretty much intimidating, but he was also an absolutely cute little thing with the kids, sexy, and interesting. His assistant, David Rossi, was approachable and found a way to involve you in his conversations with Hotchner.

You were eager to please as a volunteer. You were very nice to the children, who seemed to attach to you almost immediately, and the parents soon rooted for you when they knew you were a medical doctor. Your awkward smile when one of the parents told you about the weird rash that had appeared on his rear made Aaron giggle inside.

From the point of view of a profiler, he could tell you had terrible social skills that you tried very hard to overcome and improve. You were more comfortable with children than with adults, maybe because you've been hurt in the past, you may have some trust issues and second guess yourself often in social situations but never in your work. He was unable to see the classic narcissism noticeable in surgeons, instead, you had a compulsive professionalism while being warm and caring. Aaron also saw some nerdiness and geekiness in you that made his heart melt without permission.

"To think that I brushed her off when she asked me if I was trying to set her up…" Jessica's voice pulled him out of his analysis.

"Is this a setup?"

"God, no. Not an intentional one, at least. I was not expecting you two to check each other out like that."

"I did not check her out."

"Aaron, it's me. I may not be a profiler, but I know your looks. You like her already and I know that as you get to know her better, you're going to like her more and more."

"It won't happen."

"Tell yourself that."

And he did. He told himself that along with other things but when he caught your eyes lingering on him when you thought he wasn't looking he felt a boost of self-esteem. Talking to you was a treat he rarely indulged himself with. The worst thing he thought he could do was to lead you on to think he felt the same because then he would lose the restraint that prevented him from falling in love again. It was too soon. You were too young. The 'what if' list got longer and longer as months passed.

That's how, after a few months you ended up crushing hard on that man that Jessica assured you was too old for you. Oh, boy, you didn't care. After the practices and matches, you stayed with Hotch to clear the place of the things you'd used with Jack's playful help, and that's what drew you closer. You found his deadpan jokes hilarious. You lived for his small smirks or full-on laughs, the tiny movements his eyebrows made when he found something amusing, the light in his dark eyes when he looked at his son laughing about what you'd said or done. Being of assistance was your main goal for the weekends and your supervisor in the ER was more than glad to fix your schedule so you could have those moments for the soccer team.

At some point, you inevitably thought of yourself as a needy puppy when you found yourself being always the first to comply with any of Hotch's requests. Due to the lack of major injuries (or injuries in any way or form), you didn't have much to do with the team, therefore you ran errands like buying snacks, or bringing gallons of water… To be honest you would've driven all the way to San Francisco if Hotch and Dave had asked you to. It was embarrassing.

Now that you were facing a pissed-off Aaron Hotchner, you were regretting accepting Jessica's push six months ago.

Mulling over your feelings for the past few weeks, you've decided to approach him and ask him out on a date. Just some coffee, really, nothing fancy. He frowned; his eyes ran through you seeing things you were fighting to hide. Little did you know that Aaron felt at the edge of an abyss.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Aaron tersely told you, and when your eyes wandered between his looking for a longer explanation, his panic clouded his mind, and he must admit was gratuitously rude to you. "With my work consisting in profiling people, do you actually believe that your behavior had been unnoticed? I've tried to put some distance between us to avoid confusing you and apparently, it hadn't worked. I don't intend to be mean, but if your sole motivation to volunteer here is to spend time with me or look at me, I think it'll be better for all of us if you stopped coming here. We don't need a doctor, anyway. The most you've done has been cleaning Travis' wound when he fell on top of a tiny rock and his hand started bleeding.

"I am sure that you are great in your work," he slowly assured you, "but we don't need your skills here. I'm doing this to spend quality time with my son, and I cannot enjoy it if my attention is on your stalking behavior."

"Stalking?" You whispered confused.

"It's not the appropriate word. I'm sorry. Just… This is a safe space for the kids to have fun, and we, parents, are here because of that. You have no connection with any of them, not the children and not the adults."

You press your lips to avoid pouting. The last thing you wanted was to break in front of him after that awful humiliation. Handing him the cones you'd collected, you had nothing else to do there, and knowing just how unwanted your presence was prevented you from saying goodbye to Rossi and Jack as you usually did.

Aaron's grip on the cones hurt his hands as he followed you with his eyes, a storm breaking in his chest. When instead of going towards Dave and Jack you kept walking out of the field, the old profiler looked at him across the field with concerned eyes. He bowed his head in shame.

Hiding from Jessica at work was easy for you, at least for the first few days after the humiliation, but on Wednesday, you decided to bite the bullet and face her. After sharing some pleasantries, you smiled sadly at her before telling her what you actually wanted to say.

"I don't know if Hotch has told you, but I asked him out for a coffee. He rejected me, of course," you laughed self-depreciatingly. "Um… I'm going to quit volunteering on the soccer team. Could you make sure he understands it is because I cannot face him after how he did it, and not because I'm unable to stop stalking him?"

"He said you were stalking him?"

"Not exactly. He said I had stalking behavior, apparently. I didn't notice. I– I've been fighting very hard to act normal around him. I promise that if he had just rejected my advances I would've kept my volunteering. I mean, it would've been awkward but I really do enjoy being out there. He made it pretty clear that I've been making him uncomfortable, and that's something I can't gut. Um… So, yeah, that's that."

Hotchner did not have it that easy to hide from his sister-in-law. Jessica narrowed her eyes at him when he came back home from a long work trip in Texas. As he asked about Jack, worried that her sour mood had to do with something regarding his son, she sighed crossing her arms.

"You told her you felt stalked? Really?"

Understanding washed over him.

"I might've misused the word," Aaron took accountability for his mistake.

"I cannot believe you can be so dumb! Aaron, she likes you! And you like her too, don't try to lie to me."

"She's too young and–"

"You're scared. That is normal, but listen to me, you deserve to be happy again. I'm pretty sure that a doctor will understand your crazy schedule better than anyone else. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"It's done. Forget about it."

Pressing her hands against her eyes, Jess tried to calm down her anger. "Fine. I'm going to leave you alone, just one thing, Aaron, you've hurt her pretty badly and if you don't fix your mistake soon, you're going to miss your opportunity. She's a nice person, and she deserves better than to be humiliated that way."

"It wasn't my intention."

"Just because there was no ill intention in your behavior, does not mean that you're innocent of the damage you've caused." Gathering her things, she headed out the door. "Oh, and by the way, she asked me to tell you that she won't be volunteering for the team anymore. Not because she's unable to stop stalking you, but because the way you're rejected her made her believe that her presence is unwelcome and makes you uncomfortable, so… Well done."

Aaron did not give much thought to that until the weekend rolled over and you weren't there. While the parents and guardians were concerned about your well-being, the children stubbornly refused to start without you on the field because in their minds you were an essential part of the team, just as the coach was. Dave caught him lost in his mind more than once, but he never said anything out loud.

Three weeks after leaving the soccer team you were still surprised at how much you missed it. Weaver gave you all the hours you asked for to work on the weekends in order to fill your mind with work instead of daydreaming about how much fun the kids must've been having. Jessica told you once that Travis had scratched his knees but refused treatment even from his dad as he cried calling for you. That touched your broken heart; knowing that the little ones appreciated your presence even if it was irrelevant meant so much to you.

That Sunday you'd been working since Saturday morning treating everything from mild intoxication to hardcore injuries. Adrenaline was still pumping in your veins as you tore the yellow gown off to deposit it in the bin with the gloves you just used on the car-crash patient that Coleen was taking to the OR. Cracking your neck, you grabbed your white coat from where you'd dropped it to attend to the emergency. Slipping it on top of your scrubs (a patient had vomited on you during the night which forced you to change clothes) you approached the admission desk.

"Got something for me, Jerry?"

"Take your pick," he pointed to the row of histories.

"That's not fair! How is it I cannot pick?" said a petulant voice next to you.

"Because you're a student, Natalie. Here, take this. Seems the patient needs sutures."

"That's all I'm doing. Sutures, sutures, sutures," she mumbled as she went to gather the patient.

That's when a known figure caught your eye in the waiting room. Frowning, you looked at the histories, finding two familiar names. With the documents in your arms, you cross the waiting room towards them.

David Rossi was nursing his injured arm against his chest, standing next to Aaron and Jack, who were seating in the waiting room. He saw you at the admissions desk looking through the histories before taking two of them and walking straight towards him. That's when he knew it had been a good idea to make Aaron drive them to this concrete hospital. Aaron's eyes were locked on his son's injury, therefore he tensed slightly when he heard your voice after so long.

"Why, good morning, Jack," you cheerfully greet the young child that's sitting in his father's lap, who was pressing a towel against his son's head. "Didn't you have a match today?"

"I got hurt," the boy pouted although you could see he was enduring the pain.

"Why won't you come with me? Come with us, Dave," the man nodded with a glint in his eyes.

You haven't even glanced at Aaron's face, afraid that you may compromise your patient's needs by remembering the humiliating rejection you've suffered.

When he gathered the courage to look at you, his heart clenched in need as, for the first time since he'd known you, your beautiful eyes never landed on him. Not even once.

With Jack seated on a bed in the ER, you removed the towel finding a small wound surrounded by dry blood. It was puffy and bluish. Rossi explained that Jack had passed out while on the field and he had launched to get him, failing, and hurting his wrist on the landing.

"Very well, Jack, I'm going to ask you to do something for me," you said putting your penlight away after looking at the response in his eyes. "I want you to touch your nose with your fingertips, then pull the arms as far away as you can, and touch your nose again," you demonstrated what you wanted and the boy did it without trouble. "Well done. Now follow my finger without moving your head. That's right… Very good, Jack. Give me your hands. Grab mine as hard as you can. Good. Now," you put your hands on top of his feet, "try to push my hands up. As hard as you can. There you go. Okay.

"I'll listen to your heart now." After that and checking his reflexes, you sat on a small stool by the bed and asked him a few questions to evaluate his mental state. He was shy at first, but then he started babbling coherently, which was a good sign. "Jack, did you feel bad before the match?"

The boy looked at his dad and at Rossi, "No."

"I might not be a profiler, but that seems like a lie to me. Do you want to try again?"

"I– I had a tummyache."

"When you went to the bathroom, was your poop very liquid?"

"Yeah…"

"You didn't tell your dad?" Jack shook his head, regretting it immediately. "Why not, sweetheart?"

"I want to spend time with him, but if he's the coach and I can't play, then I have to go with Aunt Jess or look from the sidelines. That's not fun."

"Perfectly understandable. Does your tummy hurt still? No? When was the last time you ate something?"

Opening the history, you scrabble and check several squares before facing Aaron Hotchner for the first time, pulling your most professional façade on. He was waiting, observing every single move with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I don't see any symptoms of concussion. Jack doesn't even react badly to the light when pointed directly at his eyes. I believe that he's caught the stomach bug that's been running among children for the last few weeks and he's dehydrated due to the diarrhea.

"I'm going to run some blood tests, just to be certain. Although the headwound is superficial I'm aware that you'll feel better if we take some X-rays. I'll give him some fluids, clean the wound, and he'll be free to go if the tests come back clear.

"Once at home, lots of liquids. Water, Gatorade… Bland food, the usual. Keep him awake at least until his bedtime, that way you'll be aware of something bad happening. It's not going to happen anything bad, though."

He nodded, unable to find his voice after feeling the way your eyes stabbed him. Aaron Hotchner made a life out of analyzing people and he could see how hard you were trying to stand composed in front of him, to hide how strongly he had hurt you.

"Now you, Dave," you palped his wrist and scrunched your nose. "It's not broken. I think it's dislocated. I'm going to send you to X-rays with Jack, that way you keep each other company, and we'll see what's the situation with your wrist before trying to put it in place. Any questions? None? Good. Haleh," you called the nurse, "blood tests and fluids for the little man. A round of X-rays for both of them."

"On it."

"Need some help!!" Carter yelled while running towards the entrance of the emergency where an ambulance was dropping an injured and bloody patient.

"I'll be back when the X-rays are done," you promised the three men before running for the second ambulance. "What do we have?"

As the paramedic was explaining the patient's situation, she started to code which made you copy one of Carter's most dramatic moves and jump on top of the gurney to start compressions as the paramedics kept pushing it toward box two.

"That's really cool," Jack whispered mesmerized by the display of action. Aaron caressed his son's head with love.

Time went by, busy as always in the ER so your hands were full with both complicated and easy cases. Rossi, Aaron, and Jack spent the time waiting for the X-rays before waiting in the ER again; it didn't annoy them much, and they understood how it worked. Overall, they were all aware that they would still be waiting for their turn if you hadn't been working that day and saw them in the waiting room.

You were exhausted when you saw the three men again. Haleh handed you the X-ray complaining about how rude the technicians were when overloaded with work. Greeting them again, you put Jack's rays on a light panel close by.

"Look, Jack. This is your head. Can you see these circles? Those are your eyes. Now, this is the side where you had hit your head. There's no trace of damage in the bone," you looked at Hotch to make your message clear. "I can see that the fluids bag is almost empty. That's a good sign. Blood tests came back clear as well. Jack is fine. As I said before, liquids and bland food until the stomach bug is over.

"Let's see Dave's hand now…" You changed the rays. Rossi's wrist had been dislocated, as you thought.

Getting ready the needed stuff for the cast before placing the wrist in place, you explained everything to Jack who watched your moves like a hawk. Using Rossi's distraction, you pull his hand, putting his bones in place. It hurt him, and he cursed under his breath so you gifted him with your most innocent smile.

"You need the cast to avoid hurting your wrist more. Be more careful, David."

"As you say, Doc."

Carter's voice calling for you prevented you from pointing out his age. You turned to see him pointing to the board. Right, your shift must've been over three hours ago. Thumbs up you wink at him before turning your attention to your patients once again.

"I'm going to put you in the cast while Jack's bag completely empties, and then you guys can leave. Sounds good?"

"Who is that?" Jack asked.

"Doctor Carter," you simply say, focusing on the cast.

"Is he your boyfriend?" the child insisted. Aaron tensed with his son's boldness.

"Nope."

"Jack, it's not nice to ask those questions," Hotch reprimanded, making him pout.

"I just want to understand why she's not coming anymore." That admission stabbed him right in the heart.

"I'm not coming because you don't need me, Jack," you smiled at him. Another stab clenched Hotch's chest, he'd told you that.

"But we want you there!! It's not the same without you."

"That's very sweet, but it doesn't change the situation. This is done. Haleh will take that out of you, Jack. Be good," you pointed to both of your patients, ignoring Aaron once again.

Leaving them behind, you approached the admission counter to fix the paperwork when Carter cornered you with his cheeky expression and half smile. You rolled your eyes, putting your arms up in surrender.

"Fine. Fine. I'm leaving. See? This is me leaving."

"You better get out of my ER before another ambulance comes by."

"Meany."

"Out."

Rossi hummed watching the interaction just as Aaron's jaw set in distaste. "Is that jealousy or envy?"

"Not now, Dave."

It didn't take you too long to get ready to leave the hospital, and just at the moment you were crossing the doors you saw an ambulance come to a halt. Standing on the tip of your toes, you try to take a good look at the patient but Carter gave you 'the look' and you gave up. You just wanted to keep yourself busy. It was lunchtime and although you wanted to eat, you didn't want to do it all alone in your small apartment.

Walking towards the bus stop, you pulled out your phone thinking about ordering from the Indian restaurant close to your place and picked it up on your way. With a sigh, you decided you were not that hungry anyway.

Once in their home after that long morning in the ER, Aaron tried to pry the real feelings from his son, who openly told him that yes, he missed you and that he thought that you two were going to date in the future.

"You smile way more when she's on the team, Daddy," he had told him.

His resolution was clear, he was going to confront you, take accountability for his mistake, and beg you for a chance. Work prevented him from doing it right away.

You didn't hear from the Hotchner men or David Rossi for the next few days, which you anticipated, but when Saturday rolled up you found yourself in an ambulance next to Doctor Carter and Nurse Patton running to attend a hostage situation.

The place is a grocery store. Hostages are pressed against its windows to prevent the shooters from having a visual of the suspect. There's a control area with local agents and the FBI, and as you're led there by an officer, you locked eyes with Aaron Hotchner. He seemed composed and focused, but the moment he saw you his frown deepened and his skin ashen.

The three of you were introduced to the agents and you let Carter take control of the situation. He's older than you, your superior, and he had proved his leadership countless times in the hospital.

"The unsub is desperate. He is a father who's seen his world crumbling in the last few months as social services threatened to take his children from him," Rossi explained to all of you.

"He's compassionate with other people but he won't hesitate to kill in order to keep the custody of his children. He has asked for a medical team as there's a wounded hostage and a pregnant woman in terrible pain," the agent introduced as Emily Prentiss continued.

"He is reckless. He's cornered and that makes him dangerous. Under no circumstance try to approach him, antagonize him, or contradict him. Understand? He's volatile at this point and if he believes that you are the enemy, he will kill you on the spot." Although Hotchner's words were meant for the three of you, his eyes never left you for too long.

"Is there any plan?" Carter asked.

"He'll be distracted with you there. You just have to focus on doing your job. There's a CCTV system with video and audio that still work. We have eyes and ears on you."

"Fair enough. Patton, when we get in, you and I will attend to the wounded. You," Carter pointed at you, "go to the pregnant and check on the baby."

"Understood."

"Let's get you inside."

Following Agent Morgan to the end of the perimeter your heart quickened its beating rate pumping your blood faster through your veins boosted by the adrenaline raising in your system. The unsub, as the FBI called him, ordered the bunch of you to show that you weren't armed before allowing you to enter.

The man, in his late fifties but athletic, was sweating profusely. His eyes never focused on a spot for too long. His hands were running through his hair, drying his face, fidgeting anxiously. Saying that he was unstable was a huge misunderstanding. When Carter asked for his name, the man mumbled Eli almost unconsciously before cursing and aiming at the doctor with his gun claiming that they weren't there to talk to him.

Carter calmly explained his plan of action to Eli before proceeding. Patton and Carter found the wounded victim bleeding in abundance from a bullet wound in his thigh. As they worked fast and efficiently on it, Eli hovered over them with guilt written all over his face. The man kept promising that it had been an accident, that the gun had shot itself because the victim kept talking and talking. Carter deemed the wound not life-threatening itself as it hadn't pierced the artery; however, Eli wasn't sure how long it had been since the man was bleeding, which made the situation delicate still.

Meanwhile, you've approached the pregnant woman asking for her name with a soft calming smile on your face. Patty was focused enough to tell you that this was her first pregnancy, that she had gone to the grocery store craving pickles and peanut butter, and that she was in huge pain that had increased in the last few minutes. Putting on some gloves, you informed her that she needed a pelvic exam to see if everything was alright, but you started the exploration by touching her belly and auscultating both her chest and her belly in order to find a trace of the baby's heartbeat if possible. After that, you pulled up her dress finding a concerning hemorrhage.

"Alright, Patty. Can you tell me how often it hurts?" You removed her bloody underwear before proceeding to the exam and… "You're in labor."

"No. No. No. There's no way. It's early still. It's early."

"That makes your baby a bit impatient," you joked kindly.

The most important thing was that Patty remained as calm as possible, which wasn't much. After noticing how dilated she was, you found the baby's head ready to start its journey into the world. Then you palpated it. The umbilical cord was surrounding the baby's neck. As Patty started to scream you could feel the baby moving forward as she was pushing.

"No, Patty. Don't push."

"It hurts!"

"I know it does, but you can't push just yet. Mister Eli," you called for the unsub, "this woman is in labor and she needs a hospital."

"She's not leaving!!"

"I'm not making a suggestion, I'm stating a fact," you sternly answered piercing him with your determination. You weren't scared of him. "If this woman and her baby die here, it would be your fault."

Eli ran towards you pushing his gun to your forehead, you didn't even blink refusing to show weakness. "Then do your job."

"Oh, I'm going to. I'm not a miracle worker, though. And I need help."

Outside, in the control center, Aaron was losing his cool. On the inside, of course, he rarely broadcasts his emotions. Dave knew him well enough to put his castless hand on top of his friend's crossed arms to give him support.

"She's strong," whether it was a statement or a reminder, they didn't know.

The fact that you weren't cowering under Eli's aggressive behavior broke his resolve allowing two of the hostages on the windows to help you. One of them volunteered because she was a med student; she had been helping the wounded man before the arrival of the ambulance. You asked her to monitor Patty as the other volunteer helped you handing you whatever you needed at the moment.

Trying to calm down Patty, you winked at her as if saying that her condition wasn't as grave as you'd told the unsub. Focusing your senses on your hands, you tried to remove the umbilical cord from the baby's neck without hurting it or the mother. It took some time and deep breaths but in the end, you were able to move it around freeing the neck. Patty was close to collapse, sweaty and exhausted. You asked her to push with every contraction. Head out. Another push and there came the shoulders. Another big one and the baby was limp between your hands, blue and unresponsive. Clamping the cord, you cut it before depositing the infant on top of a bunch of towels the volunteer had gathered from the end of the store for you. You start the baby's reanimation.

"She's passed out," the med student told you anxiously.

Without stopping your compressions you saw Patty unconscious, bleeding way too much.

"Carter!!"

"I'm not done yet," he shot you a look across the place.

"Fuck… She hasn't expulsed the placenta yet, Carter."

"She has to go to a hospital," Carter spat to Eli.

"No one is leaving until they gave me my children back!!"

The newborn made a complaining sound before starting to cry. Taking a deep breath, you auscultated her to make sure that everything was fine. You wrapped her on the towels and handled her to the volunteer with the order of keeping her warm and to make sure that if she stopped breathing at any moment, you were called.

Turning your attention to Patty there wasn't much you could do at the moment. Her heart rate was decreasing, and she kept losing blood. There was a hospital a mile away, she could make it and they would be able to help her before it was too late.

"Under no circumstance try to approach him, antagonize him, or contradict him," Hotchner's words danced in your head as you got up from the floor peeling the damp gloves.

Fuck it.

"Are you happy now?" You spat at Eli. Carter's patient was receiving CPR uselessly.

"Don't move," Eli pointed his gun at you.

"You know? The officers out there told us that you were a compassionate man. That you just wanted your children back. I thought I could understand you then, you were just a father loving his children and wanting to be with them."

"Exactly!! I'm–"

"You're not," you calmly cut his outburst shocking him. "You're a disgusting piece of garbage. Did social services take your children? Well, if you behave out there just as half as you did here I'm surprised they didn't take them sooner."

"Shut up!!"

There was a commotion outside when Aaron grabbed his gun and headed towards the perimeter, Morgan and Rossi caught him before he could even take a step away from them. Dave took the gun out of his grip.

"What's wrong with you?" Morgan demanded.

"She's going to get herself killed!"

"I know this is tricky for you, but you can't just break protocol, Aaron."

"Dave, she's inside and–"

"She's giving us an opening," Reid's absent voice ran through them. "Look, he's so focused on her and their argument that we can approach the store and take him without him noticing."

After a moment of studying the situation, Hotch took his gun again and nodded. "Let's get ready."

They put on the earpieces that kept reproducing the conversation that was taking place inside the store in order to give them the correct tempo.

"Look at what you've done," you pressed. Your voice was low and stern, completely calm as you kept approaching him cornering him against the counter of the store without him noticing. "A woman that still had time to become a mother, is now dying on the floor because of you. A man is dead because of you."

"It was an accident. I– The gun–"

"They could've lived if you had left them to leave to a hospital. Compassionate, they said," you snorted in mockery. "You're just a selfish bastard that would kill his own children if they disobeyed."

"That's not true!! Not true. I never touched them. I– I'm a good man."

"You're a murderer. Funny thing how you assumed your children aren't here yet because the police won't take them, but you know the truth, don't you? They don't want to have anything to do with you."

"No!"

"They know what you are and they don't want to be with you."

It was fast. One second Eli was an anxious and sweaty mess moving from side to side with unfocussed attention, and the next he was ready to shoot you between the eyes. However, your change was just as fast. One second you were approaching him slowly, and the next you hit him in the face with your elbow in a perfect move. Eli lost his balance falling face-first to the floor. You kicked the gun away before he grabbed you, pulling you underneath him. He punched you in the face before Carter hooked his head with his arm tearing him away from you. The door burst open and the FBI took Eli away.

In the mess that was taking the unsub away from the store, checking on all the hostages, and guiding the EMT to the injured, Aaron was unable to take a proper look at you which made him feel antsy.

With Patty and her baby in an ambulance and all the hostages safe, except for the wounded man that had perished, Hotchner approached you. His stern demeanor hardened his set jaw and frowning brow.

"We had video and audio from the inside. What you did was reckless. What were you thinking? Did you not pay any attention to what I had to say before you got in? Eli Marsh could've–"

"I did my job, Agent Hotchner. I'm a doctor and my job is to help people in need. My patient was losing blood and she needed a hospital, so I got her out of there. I'd do it again if needed."

Before he could say something else, Rossi called for you to make your statement.

Aaron saw you leaving with steady feet and felt his chest puff with pride at how brave you'd been. Dave's look in the distance made him take a deep breath and handle the situation as the Unit Chief he was; he needed to clear his mind.

Back at the office, the team dispersed to complete their paperwork. He had no idea how long he'd been surrounded by papers to fulfill, but as he was writing his statement, his mind wandered away, and the images of you confronting and insulting a volatile unsub with such a strong stance and calm tone assaulted him.

A soft know in his office door pulled him away from that helpless memory. David Rossi observed him with those profiler eyes.

"Yes?"

"Stop being this stupid, Aaron. Go to her."

"I'm not done."

"There's no rush. Plus, Morgan and I will take care of all the paperwork that doesn't need your direct participation."

Looking out of his window to the bullpen he saw his whole team looking back at him. They all knew.

"Go." His friend insisted.

Despite the dangerous situation and nerve-wracking job, you had to perform that day, you went back to your hospital to check in with your bosses. Weaver gave you, Carter, and Patton the rest of the day off as well as the day after that. Patton left immediately, but Carter and you procrastinated for almost two hours in the staff room talking about the day.

When Carter decided he had energy enough to go home, he offered you a ride and you gratefully accepted. Heading out of the ER door, it took you a couple of glances to acknowledge that the silhouette you were seeing was actually there and not a side effect of the stressful day you'd had.

"Go ahead," you told Carter. He looked between the man and you as the distance shortened. He didn't seem pleased with leaving you alone but did it nonetheless. "Agent Hotchner," you greeted him. "Is there anything else I had to do with the case today?"

Shying away, Hotch fixed his tie, "This isn't an official visit. I just– Are you hungry?"

"That depends. Why are you asking?"

"I want to buy you dinner."

"Why?"

You weren't going to make it easy for him and when he noticed he smiled slightly. "Because I like you and I've been an asshole lately and today I– I was terrified when I saw you come down from the ambulance. I'm not ready to have you out of my sight."

"That sounds concerning."

"I'm sorry about what I said when you asked me out. I– I pushed you away because I wasn't sure about how long I could keep my distance. I wasn't fair and I know it. This doesn't have to lead to anything, but…"

"Nothing fancy, though."

Smiling more broadly, Aaron nodded. "Nothing fancy," he promised making a gesture towards his car.

The end.

[cloggedarteri]

no matter the game if theres shooting i know imma miss every time

but id like to think that arthur would be sweet enough to take soem time out of his busy day to try and help with my shitty aim

so

♡arthur whos siting with hosea at the table just enjoying what little peace is left of the morning before everyone is up and active. both holding their respective cups, arthurs a coffee and hosea a tea. and both just watch out the corner of their eye, reader whos making their way back up from the pier, face sullen and feet dragging. you dont even seem to notice their eyes on you as you walk past them and into your tent

♡and hosea just sighs into his cup

"what was that about, they're usually more pleasant in the mornin"

"usually...arthur can i ask something of you"

"course, yah dont have to ask 'sea"

"before you go on your way, maybe think about taking em with you"

"ah id love to 'sea but-"

"i know-"

"you know how they are with a gun-"

"i know-"

"they's just as bad as sean and if we run into trouble whos gonna save em?"

"arthur. please. theres no one better equiped to protect someone than you...just give em a chance. maybe use some of that wisdom you got locked in there and teach em a thing or two. theyve already got the guts to practice, though it aint much helped...now they need some sorta...structure"

"i dont know"

"arthur"

"all right, all right"

"who knows. you might even have fun. ya heard of that? fun?"

"yea, yea"

♡hosea patting his boy on the back as a thanks and dismissal.

♡arthur who strolls up to your tent and nudges your still body to get your attention. its take a couple nudges for you to peel away from the cover of your bedroll.

"lets gets going. we got things to do"

"i dont want to"

"too bad"

"just let me sulk in peace arthur"

"now I cant let ya do that darling...now come on. we're burning day light"

♡and that is the beginning of your hang out with arthur

♡arthur and reader having the usual mid horse ride conversation, arthur asking reader how theyve been and how theyve been taking the new move and how hosea's been recently since theyve buddies as of late. and reader asks arthur about himself, about what hes been up to and whats been keeping him away from the camp so often.

♡reader asking questions to get to know arthur better. whats your favorite color, your favorite meal, your favorite activity when you arent working yourself into an early grave trying to provide for the gang.

♡arthur who gets a little overwhelmed by the personal questions being thrown at him that he cuts the discussion short and lead them to a quiet spot where they could practice.

♡arthur teaching reader how to properly hold the gun, how to hold themselves, how to breathe, when to fire

♡the practice itself taking a while to get right. reader hits some. misses most to be honest. but the eagerness they have when they do manager to hit their target makes arthur think maybe this entire outing wasnt a complete waste of time

♡arthur telling reader that in order for them to finish todays practice they'd need to shoot every target they see, no bullets wasted or theyd need to try it all over again. reader managing to shoot each and every bottle/target arthur set up and being all excited

♡arthur growing a bit of a fancy for reader but him not saying anything about it, for now its just his business that he'll think about when he's alone on the road again. reader being all cocky but arthur dismissing their challenge with a smirk and a tip of the hat. arthur over his shoulder ordering reader to hurry back to their horse so they could get back to camp before hosea notices you've been gone longer than usual

[macsimagines]

yo its me about the camgirl thing and uh could you do it for kisaki and kazutora?

I've been busy all day and week but THIS ask has been haunting me and i'm so happy to finally write it, thanks for sending it in I might do a part two IDK

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, VOYERISM, NSFW, STALKING, MANIPULATION, DUBCON, KISAKI AND KAZUTORA ARE THEIR OWN WARNING, DADDY DOM,

Yandere! Kisaki Tetta

Met you IRL first, as an office worker doing part time. You were a very dedicated and kind person, you had that genuine charm about you that told him it wasn't just an act. You really did care.

He was confused because despite the many offers from many of the men in the office (that he owned) you never took an interest in any of them.

"I can take care of myself, I don't really need anyone to do it for me." Ya right. He payed his workers good, but not that good for a part-timer.

Then he did some research and dug up your true gig. The CAM GIRL persona you had was extremely popular, and that fact drove him INSANE.

He hated that this what you reduced yourself too. Revealing and demeaning yourself for the money... Still all the anger and shame in the world never stopped him from making his own account and dropping waaaaay too much money in your donation bin.

"Ooooo~! Another big donation from 'darkhero'! Thanks, Daddy! I'll put on a special show just for you~!"

He feels so sick and gross, but none of that stops him from pulling his cock out of his pants and moaning along with you during your show.

He buys out your private shows, buys you all the best toys and lingerie and then has you display them for him so he can makes sure his baby girl is having fun playing with all her new things.

"Da-daddy~! Its too much," you'll whimper out riding the new thrusting toy he got you, with the pretty pink plug vibrating in your ass. [You can take it, be good for daddy and keep going~] he'll type out, smirking to himself because he knows just how to break you in the best ways.

"You're honestly really good at this," you tell him one night after his private show, "I'm not just saying that. You'd make a good dom, ever think of making your own channel." and he likes hearing you be genuine with him. He knows what the truth sounds like coming from you.

[I only want to be your Daddy. No one elses, Kitten.] and he really like the way you smile at that. What he likes better is that you start to reach out to him first.

[Interested in a private show? I'll give you a discount?] Now that's too good, Kitten. He has you hooked on him just as badly as you have him hooked on you.

He indulges every time, god knows he has the capital to afford all the time you want to give and then some.

Kisaki is a possessive man though, and he can't take it anymore eventually. Sharing you with all these other unworthy and filthy people who only want your body. He knows you, the real you. No one else deserves you like he does.

Using his connections he has you account banned for something incredibly minor. But your site is completely doxxed, and soon you're running out of money.

Now you're working full time in Kisaki's main office. Where he can take care of you and keep an eye on you.

Yandere!Kazutora Hanemiya

Is completely infatuated with you. Found your camgirl page on a long lonely night. He hasn't gone on dates or even tried to pull women because he's too filled with guilt to even think about being happy with another person.

So he's just scrolling through and finds one of your videos, the stream is starting in like 5 seconds and he figures he'll just give it a shot and if he doesn't like it then he'll go to a different video, right?

Your profile picture is cute, and you're just his type. The video is a special freebie, so maybe it'll be a good one.

"Welcome home, Darling. Long day~?" you say on the other side of the screen, and Kazutora can't help but roll his eyes. It must be some type of roleplay, and he's honestly not trying to use too much of his imagination.

"The hell would you know?" he hisses ready to exit out when suddenly, "Aww don't be like that baby, I can make you feel all better," you promise almost like you could hear him. Like you were speaking directly to him... "I can make all the stress go away," you whisper trailing a finger along your exposed thigh. He really liked the nighty you had on....

Kazutora feels himself get hard a little too quick. Something about the airy way you make your promises and the just warm feeling filling his hollow chest has him so... enraptured by you.

"How's that?" he'll ask despite himself, and when you smile so sweetly at the camera (more like at the influx of donations you're receiving) he's pulling himself out of his sweats.

"Lean back, baby," you order, so gently that Kazutora actually does as you ask, feeling his tense shoulders go lax. He watches as you pull out a toy, smooth silicone that's no where near as large as him, and lick it up and down, "Does my mouth feel good, honey?"

And he almost grunts out a yes as he moves his hands up and down to simulate your own movements... It doesn't take long and he cums, but he doesn't stop. He just keeps going until the overstimulation borders on painful.

After that night he tunes in over and over and over again. Just to watch you, his darling that loves him and takes care of him. He's a huge donator on your channel, and he's always buying personal chows from you when you offer out slots.

He'd buy all the slots if it wasn't for that dumb one per person fucking rule. But he made multiple accounts, because he's your darling and you don't need to show off for others!!!

Kazu always asks for the same scenario, the house wife! You guys are already married, he's sure of it. And you're such a good wife, saying all the things he loves; "I love you so much, darling~! You make me feel soooo good," you moan out riding the dildo that he bought you. "I know you do baby," he'll whimper back, pumping his cock at the same pace your grinding on your toy, "Love you so much, sweetie. My baby, all mine."

This goes on for months. Not because he wants to only have you through the screen but because finding you took so much longer than it should've! Silly baby, used so many different security blocks that it made it hard for him to find you.

But when he did, he was so happy! He can finally take you home. Where you belong.

[qqueenofhades]

JSYK the OP of the Crab Day post is a self-identified conservative Christian. Can't speak to anything she may have done or said, but I do know that Crab Day wouldn't actually fix Tumblr - the site is running a 30mil *deficit,* which is different from debt. All Crab Day would do would be telling staff that their current policies get users to send them more money, which doesn't actually change anything. Corporations change only when their business strategy is losing the shareholders money.

Gotta be honest, my friend, I'm... not sure what you're trying to do here? Warn me that the original post was made by a Problematic Person (tm) and therefore that must mean it's all wrong, or.... what?

We know that Tumblr badly needs money, because they have told us that and openly admitted that the unpopular new changes were spurred by a need for increasing revenue. I logged on just now on desktop and got a suggestion that I could purchase an ad-free browsing subscription to help support the hellsite (which is the word they used, because they have very much embraced the joke). I have in fact already bought an ad-free subscription, both because I like the product Tumblr provides and want to keep using it in its current form, and because it makes my mobile experience immeasurably nicer. I am well aware that especially in this era of social media sites dropping like flies, the continued existence of a platform that is 30-million-dollars underwater (however you want to split hairs about exactly how) is not a guarantee. And we all complain about Tumblr, but we have all been here a long time (me, uh, over 10 years), we have a solid community, there's no other alternative that's really ever come up or gotten the same kind of uptake, and if it went under, we would be uh, screwed.

Tumblr is kind of a mess, it's the antithesis of every social media site, and it doesn't (for now) have the crap that makes The Artist Formerly Known As Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram so utterly unusable, or if it does, you can (mostly) turn it off. That's why we all like it and why, even if we are resolutely anti-capitalist gremlins who resist being marketed to with every fiber of our being, it doesn't change the fact that servers, staff, and all the rest cost real human-people money which the site, by their own frank admission, is struggling to raise. Even if staff does often make crappy updates, they generally at least TRY to listen to us and include a feature to make it optional or roll it back, unlike certain unnamed idiot billionaires. Their mockery of other social media sites can sometimes be a little much, but for now, Tumblr is pretty much the last place on the internet that does what it does, and I like it that way. If it went under and took my blog of 10+ years and all my friends with it, I would be incredibly sad.

That being the case, and basic financial realities being what they are, encouraging people to toss a few bucks at a TOTALLY OPTIONAL and fun gimmick that increases functionality for a product we like is actually not a bad thing. TumblrMart has crabs, checkmarks, Ea-Nasir merchandise (seriously), ad-free browsing, etc., and if our choice is voluntarily supporting the site through fun (and again, OPTIONAL) purchases versus having us all be involuntarily subject to some horrible data-scraping mechanism or forced off altogether because they couldn't keep the lights on, that is fine with me. Nobody is making anybody do or buy anything. But if you like the product Tumblr provides and want a fun material way to show your appreciation, then I don't think it's some Great Transgression to participate in that.

[littlewriterfullofwords]

Like a movie

Pairing: Nijiro Murakami x actress!reader

Summary: You are an actress that works with Nijiro on a new movie and both of you hide a secret

Warnings: acting and that's probably all, but if there's more let me know

A/N: Hi! I'm back with Nijior one shot. Have fun reading and let me know if there are mistakes or maybe if you want to see something specific

You again caught yourself drifting away from the book's plot you've been reading on your phone while siting on the wooden bench.

"Focus." you whispered and focused on the sentences on the screen, trying so hard not to drift away.

But the universe had its own plans, totally different from yours.

"What are you doing?" well-known man's voice startled you a bit, you turned around to see who dared to interrupt you, but when you saw a smile, you only huffed.

"Reading." you answered and a smile crawled on your lips as the man sat next to you.

"Am I interrupting?" his voice an his puppy eyes were saying he was perplexed a bit.

"No. Of course not." you ensured him with a smile and shook your head. "You never interrupt me, Nijiro."

His smile became bigger. You hardly ever used his name so it was a pleasing change for him.

You and Nijiro were actors together working on a new movie that was supposed to be aired next year. You liked working with this man, probably because he was so professional, maybe because he was a sunshine and his smile would bright up every room and every dark soul around him. You loved his bubbly personality and probably it was the main reason you had a big ass crush on him. Just as the major part of the women staff working with all the cast. I mean, who wouldn't love a man with beautiful smile, deep voice and pretty eyes.

"You know, you are a lot like your character." said out of nowhere Nijiro, his eyes were observing the falling leaves what was quite unusual, it was spring not autumn.

"Oh, thank you." uncontrollably blush came up on your cheeks. "I have to tell you are only half as your. No offence."

"None taken." Murakami chuckled. "I can even say we are totally different."

"Maybe. But he doesn't have your bubbly personality so I can say it's his lose."

______

"Okay, guys." the director called you over after recording few last scenes and gathered in a circle with other cast's members. "You all are doing great. We are going forward with the production and that's amazing and I think we will end earlier than we had thought. But let's not praise the day before the dawn, we still have work to do. You two, prepare for kissing scene."

The last words were directed to you and Nijiro who has been standing by your side all the time. You nodded and hang down you head just to hide this little smile that had had formed on your lips. You felt your heart speed up whenever you thought about the upcoming scene with your crush, not gonna lie you wanted this scene to be repeated as many times as possible even if it meant you had to make mistakes.

"Y/N, let's go." your make up artist came up and led you to her car where you sat on the chair and let the woman do her job. "I am so jealous of you. You are so close with Nijiro. And you have a kissing scene with him. You can't imagine how much I want to change places with you. You need to describe me everything after. With details."

"You got it." you laughed and intertwined your own fingers.

You were nervous yet something about Nijiro was calming even if it was only an imagination.

"Are you ready?" you came back to reality when man's voice sounded almost behind you.

"Yeah, sorry." you got up from the chair, thanked the make up artist who only smiled and you knew she was 'sending' you a message including her ask, and looked at Nijiro. "Let's go."

"Sure." the actor grabbed your hand and, with you, left the car.

And that's when your nervousness hit the max level even though you had recorded hundreds of kissing scenes in you life. Was it something about the cast watching? Or maybe the director? Or maybe Nijiro himself? You didn't know but anyway it was so stressing.

"It will okay." his calm voice by your side caused chills on your back, but also made you smile. "I am here."

"And that's probably a problem." you wanted to say, but only nodded.

"It will be fine." it was the last words before you heard loud 'ACTION'.

"Please wait!" Nijiro shouted what stopped you in a half step and made you turn around.

"Huh? What's wrong?" you asked with consternation on your face.

"You...you keep running away from me.Every day, every second." his eyes became sad, full of confusion. "Why? Just tell me why."

You chuckled and looked to the side, you locked your eyes with make up artist's who smiled at you and showed thumbs up.

"Why? You really want to know why? Okay, I will tell you." you took a deep breath and looked Nijiro in the eyes. "I love you, okay? Everyday you make me realise why I had fallen for you. And that drives me crazy. I am trying not to love you because it's not okay, we are friends, it could change our relationship. And I don't want that. That's why I am pushing you away. So please, respect that and go."

Why playing this part sounded so similar to your life situation? Maybe you weren't pushing anyone aside but you were scared that your feelings could change your relationship with them.

"How can I go when you just told me you love me?" Nijiro made a step closer, shortening the distance between you two. "You want to play with my feelings by pushing me away?"

"Play with your feelings? Don't be ridiculous, you and feelings? At this moment?" you laughed and shook your head. "You don't have a reason to feel anythings now."

"Why are you so sure?" another step and another, he was so close.

You started acting like you were thinking. Your hair fell down, covered you face, cut you out of the world and people watching your every step, every breath.

"You didn't realise, did you?" suddenly Nijiro was so close, his hand touched your chin and lifted it a bit.

"Realise what?" you asked with half disbelief half curiosity.

"Oh, dummy." Nijiro giggled and closed the distance between you two, his lips touched yours taking your breath away.

And that was where your acting ended. You forgot about your character, about the script, about the people watching...now you only had Nijiro in your mind, him and the kiss. You let him kiss you, touch you, even move you around a bit. He had so much power over you and you didn't even think about saying 'no'.

"And...DONE!" the director yelled.

Unwillingly you and Nijiro made a step back. Little smiles appeared on your lips when your eyes locked and after a second you burst into laughter.

"Guys." you both looked at the director who approached you with a smile and clapped few times. "It was perfect. It looked so natural like you didn't act at all. We need people like you two. You were perfect!"

And he walked away leaving you two in confusion, but with a feeling of pride.

"Can we..." Nijiro started talking so you looked his way, but your make up artist appeared out of nowhere and interrupted.

"Sorry. I need her. I promise I will give her back later."

"We will talk later." you promised and sent Nijiro a smile then left with the woman.

Of course she wanted to know every detail of the kiss and she was more impatient than a little kid who wants a candy. You told her that his lips were soft, he was gentle and you felt like in heaven.

"Lucky you." the woman sat on the chair and sighed. "I wish I was you."

You only giggled and shook your head. When you were sure the conversation ended, you left the car and started looking for Nijiro, he wanted to tell you something earlier.

"Are you looking for someone?" the smile crawled on your lips when you heard his voice.

"Actually, yes." you faced Nijiro and nodded. "You wanted to tell me something before, right?"

"Right." he agreed and smiled. "So..."

He took a deep breath and that made you even more curios what he wanted to say. Why did he look nervous?

"So...the kissing scene...." his hands started shaking and his sunshine-like personality disappeared instead you saw nervous Nijiro. "I didn't...um...."

"Yeah, me too." you said before he finished his sentence. "I didn't act. The whole scene...it...it was..."

"It was so real." now Murakami overtook you. "Yeah. So I think hiding it won't help anyone...especially me....I- I...."

Before he said anything more you closed his mouth with a kiss. On the one hand it felt similar to the one you had recorded, but on the other it was totally different. You felt chills going up your spine when Nijiro placed his hand on your hip and the other cupped your cheek which has been burning from the blush since the beginning of the conversation.

"I guess we now know what we are standing on." you whispered when you took a step back and smiled.

"And we needed to record the whole movie to realised that." joked Nijiro and when you hugged him, he added. "I could wait longer."

[conceptmobius]

Staff Recruitment

Greetings! This is a post regarding staff recruitment for Concept: “Mobius”, as you probably surmised. Vertekins and I always looking to add to the ranks and make the site as detailed, informative, and cool as it can be. If you’re interested in joining, great! Let’s find you a spot! Incidentally, you may be able to fill multiple roles, but first things first. You need to run before you can Spin Attack, after all.

Concept: “Mobius” is a Sonic the Hedgehog site dedicated to information about the games within the franchise and the worlds, characters, and events within. While there are multiple wikis and whatnot that serve this purpose, we’re trying to do things differently. We want to enrich the world of the Blue Blur and hopefully make it more cohesive, less muddled, and more fun. Obviously, this is too big a job for a few people, hence the slow trickle of updates over the years.

So, we need a team to tackle this endeavor, and we have many branches for all skill sets. You'll also be asked to help out here, as well, but more on that at another time.

Writers

Arguably one of the most important roles. Writers will be contributing the bulk of the site’s content, from articles and reviews to think pieces and news blurbs. You’ll be expected to be able to spell, know your grammar, and write coherently. If the most writing you’ve done is on Twitter, you may find yourself at a loss here, especially since you’ll probably have to be your own editor, unless you ask your teammates for help (which you can, to be clear).

Artists

Another absolutely crucial role. You’ll be responsible for how the site looks: graphics, character art, zone landscapes, etc. It’ll be a big task, but you’ll always be credited for your work, with links going to whatever platform you choose.

Programmers/Modders

Your job will be to modify the games. Why? Two reasons.

We’ll be using various games for clips and showcases, and we need them to be accurate as possible. Many of them are either missing content, have various inaccuracies between one another, or just don’t look/sound/play right for our purposes. We can’t very well show Sonic’s world if it’s lackluster, can we?

We want to show what even the worst of the franchise could look/sound/play like if given the TLC they deserve.

I know this doesn’t sound necessary or worthwhile, but I assure you, it will make sense in the future.

Theorists

You’ll be helping with various theories and doing your best to plug up various plotholes in the Sonic universe. Unlike certain other game theorists, however, you’ll be expected to show restraint when speculating and not go off on tangents or grasping at whatever straws you see.

Cartographers

Your job is a doozy: making a single, DEFINITIVE map of Sonic’s Earth. You see, there have been many in the games, and they’ve been different every time, depending on the game or the area it's based in. And each one has been inconsistent. Heck, people don't even know where Green Hill Zone definitively is, despite its number of uses.

THIS.

WILL.

NOT.

DO.

If anyone is going to take Sonic lore seriously (and few people do), we need one map that can be used for every game. That way, there is more consistency in the narrative and people have a more defined view of the world.

Modelers

Your role will be to make various character renders to be used for the cast in the Character Database. You’ll be working with the artists to make the most “true to life” representations of Sonic and the others as you can. You might also find yourself recreating certain areas or scenes from the games, demonstrating various abilities, or just letting the cast style on each other.

News Reporters

You’ll be reporting on everything Sonic-related that is newsworthy, whether it be a game announcement or a funny pic from Sega. Just try not to post any memes.

That'll do for now, although, we're welcoming anyone with a notable skill set. If you think you have something to contribute to Concept: "Mobius" that is or isn't listed here, let us know. Just be aware that we can't afford to pay anyone for their work.

Thank you very much in advance!

~Ryan

[sonic-spirit]

Okay, let's fuckin' go! I dug out my tarot decks for the first time since our move this spring, got some card sleeves for them, and decided to do an "Interviewing Your New Deck" spread I nabbed from this site.

The first deck I did was my Riderless Tarot deck, which is the first tarot deck I've really dug into trying to work with, and seriously love. And look, I gotta go with the very natural horse art it has.

So in position 1: Tell me about yourself. And its answer for that is The Hermit. Riderless Tarot's included guide has the meaning for that card as, "Introspection, solitude, a loner." The other guide I've been referencing, Labyrinthos, lists that as "Contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance." So it likes self reflection and solitude.

In position 2: What are your strengths? And its answer is the King of Swords inverted. "A strong, forceful, honest man." but inverted. "Manipulative, cruel, and weakness." Having worked with this deck, I'm interpreting this as helping me slow down and help with impulsive decisions.

Position 3: What are your limits? IV of Pentacles. "Focus on money, wealth, material things," which I see as not being super great with money. Me too, bro.

Position 4: What are you here to teach me? V of Swords. "A misunderstanding, short term gain, or victory." Which I see as to help guard me from impulsive misunderstandings.

Position 5: How can I best learn/collaborate with you? King of Pentacles. "An experience leader, respected, stable man." Lawl, horse puns. And also themes of abundance and security. So I think it's idea, though we're both bad with money, is to work towards a secure, (heh) stable life with this deck.

Position 6: What is the potential outcome of our relationship? The Fool. "Impulsive, fearless, naive, new," with themes of innocence, new beginnings, and free spirit. I feel it's working to try to help grant me the freedom to choose with release.

Next is the same spread with the My Little Tarot by Sophie Scruggs (which also looks so much better in person. all the cards have this lovely holographic sheen and gold edging, they're seriously lovely. the sleeves I got are non-glare and diffuse a lot of the effect, bust seriously, these are lovely cards). This is the first time I've worked with this deck. Really the first time I've even touched it much. Sooo, interesting results?

Position 1: Tell me about yourself. The High Priestess. Okay, it sees itself as a wise, intuitive woman for tapping into the unconscious voice.

Position 2: What are your strengths? The V of Swords. Hokay. Well that one's kinda interesting, it's about ambition and winning at all costs and short term gain. Generously, it could be about helping with those sort of impulses. Or it could be about leaning into them. So...that's fun.

Position 3: What are your limits? The VII of Wands. So its weaknesses are with perseverance and maintaining control. In continued efforts. Given that its strengths lie in short term goals that follows, but it's not looking good for a deck for my solo use.

Position 4: What are you here to teach me? Strength. Power, courage, bravery, inner strength. Honestly, rad.

Position 5: How can I best learn/collaborate with you? The Ace of Swords. Sharp outlook, new energy, focus, clarity, breakthroughs. So it's good with starting new things, energizing, engaging with quick and decisive short term goals.

Position 6: What is the potential outcome of our relationship? The VII of Swords. So lack of courage, trapped, blindness, and self-victimization. Yeah, that tracks with everything else. I'm already impulsive. I love starting new projects...and never finishing them. It's kinda a thing I'm really trying to actively address. Like, me and every other ADHDer, but yeah.

^_^;; So I think this deck needs to be used sparingly, so that's fun.

And like, tarot's a tool, nothing is hard and fast, and I'm seriously literally just starting out. You can see I put a lot more of my own interpretation into the first reading than the second, cuz hey, I already have more emotional attachments to that first deck and am more willing to trust that it's looking out for me, totally anthropomorphizing it as friend. The My Little Tarot deck, I'm like, "Oh hey! I know these guys!" and then look at the card meaning dictionaries and am like, "Oh. That's where we're going with this." ^_^ Like Lightning Dust being about winning, delusion, and short term gain. Moondancer having such lovely, cozy studying vibes and then the regular interpretation of the card is trapping yourself in self-victimization. It's like. Oh. Yes, I see. But, duality, yo, it's meant to be open for fluid interpretation.

So yeah, that was fun, and something I might see about blogging on more frequently. It's me, so we'll see about follow-through. It's nice to type stuff up without putting as much pressure on myself, tho.

[sleepyhollands]

important

hi my loves. as many of you know, i’ve been sleepyhollands on tumblr since 2020. since then, i’ve written fanfiction about tom holland and co., peter parker, and harry styles. most recently (and i say this loosely because this was a year ago) i posted a demon!harry blurb that received a lot of attention, and i announced it would become a mini-series. however, after much deliberation, i’ve decided against moving forward with writing on tumblr altogether.

i didn’t come to this decision lightly, because i feel like i have so much left to create, and the fanfiction community i run in has been so lovely and supportive of me over the years. i also feel guilt over letting go of a project i promised to complete. but at the end of the day, i know this is the right choice for me.

there’s a few reasons. for starters, i feel as though my life is really fast-paced at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), and i don’t quite have time to write in day to day life. for a couple years now, every time i’ve sat down to start writing, it’s felt like a chore. for the demon!harry mini-series, i wrote (i kid you not) at least 20 drafts of the first chapter, which is why i kept promising the release “soon,” but it never came. it felt so forced each time i read it back, and once i realized i had fallen out of love with writing, i knew i would never end up finishing the series. so i figured it would be best to not start it at all for the sake of saving everyone from a story they would never know the end of.

additionally, i’ve lost interest in the people i’ve written about. that’s not to say i don’t love them as people/characters and won’t continue to support them in their careers, i just don’t feel motivated to create or consume content about them anymore. again, it feels more like something i have to do rather than something i want to do, and that’s no fun for anyone.

finally, and i truly hate to say this… i’ve honestly come to dislike what reading and writing fanfiction has come to. now, i’d like to make it very clear that i am not attacking any creators either on tumblr, wattpad, or ao3. i love all my mutuals and the writers i consume content from. that being said, this new culture of “social media alternate universes,” “text message alternate universes,” and my least favorite: capitalizing on fanfiction through patreon or other related sites has just made me less and less inclined to engage in the fanfiction community.

our generation is so phone/social media-oriented that it’s made its way into the content i’d prefer to just read. and if that’s your cup of tea, that’s totally fine! consume whatever content you enjoy, seriously. but i don’t get fulfillment from reading make-believe text threads or instagram posts, and i’m noticing it more and more, to the point where blocking tags such as “#smau” just isn’t cutting it anymore.

and the patreon thing…. listen, i get that we live in a world where people are just trying to make money in any way they can. i’m not judging in the slightest. it’s hard out here, i understand. that being said, the beauty and allure of fanfiction to me is that it’s free— it’s pure and accessible to everyone. and i’ve found that i’m simply not willing to spend money on a non-essential product i used to be able to consume free of cost. i mean that in the least petty way possible, truly. i’m not calling it immoral, or a scam, or unfair for creators to earn money for their work. i just miss when everything around me wasn’t subscription based, and now that even fanfiction can cost money, i’ve developed a bit of an aversion to it.

(as a quick, unrelated side note, i’d like to mention that the fanfiction circles i’m in are all hyper-fixating on tropes i’m really not into, such as heavy bdsm-centered content, major age gaps, dad’s best friend, best friend’s dad, etc., and this is making it hard to continue engaging with them and their content. while i will always love and support the writers on this site, i want to avoid coming across this content entirely.)

all of this to say, i’m not sure if i’ll keep this account. i’m not planning on leaving tumblr, but i’m heavily debating deleting this account and creating a new one for a fresh start. that, or i’ll leave this up and move to a new account. i’m not sure yet. in any case, i’ll try to make sure there’s a place you can go to access my writing if you choose to come back for a re-read.

i want to thank everyone for being so kind to me over the years, and i’m sorry if i’ve disappointed anyone with this information. i’ll be tagging people from my taglist, and those who mentioned they wanted to be tagged in the demon!harry mini-series below. much love. 🤍

@callsign-scully @lnmp89 @keepdrivingkisses @tenaciousperfectionunknown @landosangel @tom-hlover @voguesir @iadoresleep @lmaotshollandd @starkscosmos @st-ev-ie @axelinchen @pleasinghellfire @kimmi-kat @mopeymousey @coolhotsexygemini10 @harrys-cherrry @vamprry @sunflowervol18 @lillefroe @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @bbontenswhhore

[khadgarbignaturals]

i know tumblr has a strong anti-tiktok bias which is entirely fair but bear with me on this

with the continued genocide of palestinian people, like every social media platform has a ton of people trying to boost content to raise money for families escaping gaza, tiktok is much the same. there’s a sight problem though; tiktok does not like people trying to boost content like that, so tiktokers have been finding ways around it. the main one is content creators starting fake beef with each other to get people hooked in for some juicy tea (which tiktok’s algorithm likes) and then hit ‘em with the go fund me link to the family they’re helping. also the watermelon 🍉 emoji has become a symbol of being pro palestine.

i think this is really cool! but it’s brought smth up that i’ve been thinking for a while in relation to how people on tumblr view tiktok. this is not hate, this is not criticism, this is just something to think about

i’ve been on tiktok since 2018 so i’ve seen a lot of shit including how the app has transformed over the years. one of these things is the growing censorship of “controversial topics” like racism/homophobia/etc. there wasn’t really much restriction on content for a while but in 2020 that changed. the black lives matter protests spread like wildfire on tiktok because news outlets we not reporting what was actually happening, or not acknowledging it at all beyond surface level shit. during that time i got information and news about the protests through tiktok users on site at and participating in protests because we just couldn’t trust any major news outlet (and honestly even some tiktok users with large accounts).

the censorship started to really take off because tiktok didn’t want those kinds of videos gaining traction, and did not want people organizing through the app. there are any number of reasons for this, but it’s not really relevant. regardless of why, tiktok started suppressing or removing videos that have the “problem words” in them (including comments). some of these “problem words” are: death, kill, names of any drug, boost, comments mentioning boosting the video to raise awareness of something, etc.

over the years tiktokers have adapted to this, from substituting letters, using similar but disinfected words (like the famous “unalive”), and even speaking in code to get around the increasingly strict content moderations. some examples are: “gardening” instead of smoking weed, k!ll, di3 (and other l33tspeak), 🔗🌲 instead of linktree, etc.

the problem most people have with tiktok users is when they’re outside tiktok. a lot of the criticism of these people is definitely valid, but the extent has always given me a little pause. a lot of these tiktokers that people make fun of the behavior of are children and teenagers. they tend to be chronically online, have very little conception of privacy and online barriers, form parasocial relationships, etc. this stuff is all true, but why?

these kids have spent a huge chunk of their formative years interacting mostly online because of covid. theyve been dunked headfirst into the internet in a way that has really damaged their social skills, hence them being called “chronically online.”

my point here is to just get people thinking about tiktok itself in addition to its users. its users are the way they are because of the platform they’re on, and tiktok as a platform itself fucking sucks. we all know twitter (i’m not calling it x) is a dumpster fire, tumblr staff sucks, facebook is, well, facebook, you get my point. the absurdity of the censorship on tiktok shouldn’t be overlooked.