#like even in my natural state. i am him. no cosplay comes close

[ricellama]

thinking about hooni

[nobodyfamousposts]

My-Crack-ulous: Aku-Maid

In which I am a horrible person...

No seriously. Don’t read this.

For @mermain123, for bringing up the cursed image that started this mess in the first place.

Mermain: i said i was suffering

Mermain: i didn't want you to make the internet suffer

Me: That sounds like the internet’s problem.

Also for @bloody-writes. You know why...   ; )

_________________________

Hawk Moth was a supervillain who had been terrorizing Paris for the better part of two years.

But no one could really argue that not all of his ideas have been good. Or well thought out. Or in any way sensible even.

Like the time he akumatized a baby.

Or the time he akumatized a girl to transform people into exact replicas of herself.

Or the fact he keeps akumatizing Mr. Ramier for going on 29 times at this point…

Or the other time he akumatized a baby…

Times that he destroyed Paris. Times that he nearly destroyed the world. Times that he gave people powers that were completely contradictory to the goals of getting the Miraculous he was after by erasing the heroes from existence or transforming them in ways that made the Miraculous inaccessible.

But none of his akumatizations had ever gotten him as much hate, caused as much misery, were were ultimately as pointless as this most recent incident.

Aku-maid.

It was known the instant she was akumatized. As soon as she was transformed, a wave of power enveloped the city. And within that wave, half of the people of Paris were transformed as well. 

…the male half.

Her power was to transform all the men of Paris. She didn’t even have a weapon or attack that did it, it just happened almost instantaneously. All men suddenly found themselves changed.

Or rather, their outfits…

“Ah!”

“What the hell—!?”

“I can’t get it off!”

One by one, every male in Paris suddenly found themselves in a much different state of attire. What had just been a normal day full of various styles and appearances had all suddenly become very…frilly.

“WHY AM I A MAID?!”

Much as implied her namesake, the akuma’s power involved transforming whatever any man was wearing into some variation of a maid outfit.

Every man.

All over Paris.

From Andre Bourgeois, who has refused to leave his office to make an official statement…

“ANDRE!” Audrey shouted, banging on the door. “Get out here this instant!”

“But, honey, I can’t be seen like this!”

To Roger Raincomprix, who has tried to continue his normal duties despite the…change of uniform…

“Stop in the name of the law!” Roger shouted, reaching into his pockets in an automatic reaction to try to get his handcuffs. While the dress he was wearing did still have pockets, the only item they procured was a cleaning rag, which was notably less threatening as the suspect in question stared for a moment before deciding to take off.

“HEY!”

And yes, even to…

“I’m a Macrophage!” Adrien gushed happily as he lifted his lengthy skirt to give a twirl.

…even to Adrien Agreste, who was apparently the only one to find anything pleasant about the current crisis.

Nino stared.

“Dude. Seriously?”

“I’ve always wanted to cosplay!”

Nino, having been long-since exposed to his friend’s deep love for anime in its many forms, at least knew what a Macrophage was. But even so, he couldn’t help but feel there was something odd about the way Adrien took to the long pale dress and cap.

Kim rested a hand on Nino’s shoulder. “Just let the guy enjoy this.”

“At least somebody is.” Nathaniel muttered bitterly as he tried to hide as behind his sketchbook. It was a futile attempt, of course, as he at most only covered his face, leaving the red dress, white apron with pockets, and knee-high boots on full display.

“I don’t understand how he can.” Max complained. He tugged at his own skirt in vain, looking at Adrien’s ankle-length ensemble enviously. The skirt was much shorter than he would have liked—reaching a couple inches above his thigh and almost seemed to be defying gravity to stay that way despite his attempts to get it to either flatten or otherwise lower. “I question the design choices.”

“But you look just like Misaki from Maid Sama! And Nathaniel looks like Lizbeth!” Adrien insisted. “It’s totally a cosplay!”

Max just stared incredulously. He was wearing a black dress with puffy sleeves that tapered off just shy of his elbow, white apron, a cap, and thigh-high black stockings and knee-high boots, it seemed Adrien did have a point.

Max, in all fairness, didn’t particularly care in favor of the problems that came with suddenly finding himself in a short dress, heels, and a corset.

“I just can’t peg where Kim or Nino’s outfits are from.” He continued, studying the outfits in question contemplatively. “But give me a little time! It’ll come to me!”

The boys had been having an afternoon hangout session in the park. No girls. No teachers. No Gabriel Agreste or bodyguards to whisk certain teen models away. It was supposed to be a normal non-drama-filled day.

…which was naturally when it became something less than normal and certainly more than drama-filled.

“I think I get why girls complain about this sort of thing now.” Kim said, looking at his shoes. “These heels are kind of uncomfortable…”

“Are you sure it’s the heels and not the flippers?” Nino asked, annoyed.

Sure enough, Kim was wearing flipper-heels. They were black and also had black ankle straps with a little bow on each. This strange footwear did seem to go with Kim’s talent in swimming, which was also emphasized by the ruffle maid swimsuit they matched with.

“Nah, it’s definitely the heels.” Kim insisted.

So this was what their all-boys’ afternoon had come to.

Kim was wobbling on unsteady heels.

Nathaniel groaned and kept his ever reddening face covered.

Max was questioning where they could procure jackets. Long jackets.

Adrien was giggling to himself and asking if they could do a full Cells at Work group cosplay.

And Nino paled, suddenly realizing something.

"Guys. Guys, we have to hide!"

"Why?" Kim asked. "It's annoying, but this akuma doesn't seem really dangerous."

"No, you don't get it!" Nino hissed. "If Alya catches us, we will NEVER live this down!"

Nathaniel looked over the edge of his sketchbook. “Alya wouldn’t actually post pictures of us to the Ladyblog, would she?”

A long pause followed.

The boys paled.

Except for Adrien, who turned to them with a gasp of excitement. “Do you think she would? We could do a group picture!”

All the other boys paled even more, looking downright ill.

And immediately took off running.

Or at least as well as they could with heels. None of them made it very far without tripping, stumbling, or simply struggling to stay upright as they still tried to move away from the area as quickly as the heels would allow.

“But what’s wrong with—?”

“JUST RUN, ADRIEN!”

“Who thought maid outfits with high heels was a good idea?! How can anyone be expected to clean in these things?

“I will never draw high heels on a super heroine again.”

“I can’t breathe! Who created corsets?! What objective does this achieve besides crushing one’s lungs?”

Nino groaned, still running. “I hope Hawk Moth is suffering as much as we are!”

_____________________

If Nino Lahiffe had the ability to break the fourth wall and peer into the events happening outside of his immediate vicinity, he would be happy to find this was actually the case.

And he would laugh.

Oh, how he would laugh.

“Sir…?”

“Don’t.” Came the dark growl from a very unhappy supervillain. “Don’t say anything, Nathalie..."

This was an akuma that impacted every male in Paris. Every male.

…even to Hawk Moth, himself.

“Why did this happen?”

It would appear that even Hawk Moth was not immune to Aku-Maid’s power as he had been similarly transformed. And unfortunately, due to the change, he could no longer access his Miraculous. The Butterfly broach had disappeared, having been transformed along with his outfit.

And his outfit had…actually left much to be desired.

Which was truthfully just a nice way of saying it was ugly.

Really, really ugly.

Normally the picture of stoicism, Nathalie had to pretend to cough to avoid reacting.

“Can’t you order the akuma to undo it?” She eventually was able to ask.

He lowered his head and closed his eyes in concentration. “No. It’s no good. I’ve lost the link!”

His eyes widened and he clutched his chest in a panic.

“Where is the Miraculous?!” Hawk Moth demanded, trying—and failing to pull at the tasteless dress. But as others across the city had already discovered, the clothes were magic and would not be removed or displaced. Not even the frock or the cap he now wore.

“Sir, you were transformed when you changed. It looks like the Butterfly Miraculous was transformed along with you.”

He froze, eyes widening in horror. “But that’s—”

He grasped at the empty place on his chest. Where once had been his lapel and pin now only had ruffles and a leathery texture. His mask remained in place, though it was now fully black except for the openings around his eyes and mouth, which were bordered with a lighter grey color. The material and outfit overall had a shine to it that could be found on any wetsuit.

To put it nicely: he looked atrocious.

To put it bluntly: he looked like some sort of BDSM role-player with a maid kink.

So it was fortunate, perhaps, that no one else in Paris would have to be subject to the sight.

Except Nathalie. Who was probably going to have nightmares.

Or a coronary from the laughter she was trying to hold back.

It was admittedly a bit hard to tell.

But it seemed she was handling the situation a bit better than Hawk Moth, despite the fact that the man was currently unable to see himself or the full extent of the monstrosity he now wore.

…this was probably for the best. Given the man’s fashion sense, there was really no telling whether he would be horrified or inspired, and nobody would want to find out.

“I can’t contact the akuma! And I can’t call it back!”

He moaned, covering his…already covered face with his hands. “I’ll never be taken seriously again!”

Nathalie resolutely held back from pointing out he was barely being taken seriously now.

“It’s…not that bad?” She tried. Not very well, but she tried.

Hawk Moth clutched his head in horror. “Unless Ladybug and Chat Noir can stop this akuma, we’re doomed!”

“Sir, it’s just an akuma that puts men in maid outfits. It’s really not that bad.”

“DOOOOOOMED!!!”

__________________________

The akuma, for her part, was unaware of her benefactor’s misery, too busy enjoying the abject misery of everyone else around her.

Nobody knew just what had set the girl off to get her akumatized in the first place. Her comments about men being “the eye-candy now” suggested an argument. The maid outfits involved suggested what the topic of the argument had been regarding.

To be honest, nobody had actually realized she was the akuma responsible. She did appear fairly normal by akuma terms, dressed in a seemingly authentic Victorian era dress more befitting as an authentic Lady’s Maid compared the frillier, lacier varieties that the men around her had suddenly found themselves in. What would normally have gotten her a few odds looks was mostly ignored in the face of the sudden change. Few even took notice of her dark purple skin or black hair. Or the fan in her hand.

“THAT’S RIGHT! SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING OBJECTIFIED!”

The yelling…was a bit harder to miss.

It was the first thing that drew the attention of the three girls settled at the cafe.

The second thing was the various cries of horror as several of the men around them suddenly discovered their state of dress transformed into…well…dresses. Of a variety that made the little cafe appear more like a maid cafe than anything.

The third thing was the appearance of a familiar face running down the road, holding up his long white dress to make running easier as he looked for a place to hide.

Marinette stared.

“ADRIEN?!”

Adrien Agreste was running around in a long white and pale cream Victorian-era dress and cap, looking like Cinderella running from the ball. Except a maid.

A quick glance to her companions showed that both Alya and Kagami were similarly staring in befuddlement, so this was neither her imagination or a fever dream.

“Adrien? What’s going on?” Alya asked for everyone.

“It’s an akuma!” He replied, quickly. “She’s putting everybody into cosplay!”

“…cosplay?”

“Yeah!”

“…everybody?”

He paused, glancing around. “Well…all the guys, I think?”

Marinette stared.

“…Just that?” Alya asked, thankfully taking over while Marinette’s brain started to become aware that this WAS Adrien she was talking to. “She’s not doing anything else besides putting guys into…‘cosplays’?”

He blinked in confusion. “I…think so?”

“She isn’t…I don’t know…commanding you or anything?”

“Well, she hasn’t yet. Which, really, isn’t so bad for an akuma if you think about it.” He said with a frown before he noticed the strange look on Kagami’s face. “Kagami, are you okay?”

Kagami made a strangled sound.

“Marinette?”

Marinette pretended to choke on a drink from an empty glass to avoid speaking.

“Can I add to your order?” The waiter came by, seeming unconcerned by the ruckus or the act that he was now wearing a rather cutesy maid outfit the likes of which would be seen in a maid cafe in Japan.

“You don’t seem put off by this.” Alya pointed out, noting his relatively unfazed attitude compared to the panicking of the other men around them…or the gushing from Adrien.

The waiter took it in stride.

“It’s okay.” He replied blankly. “I’m already dead inside.”

“Oh.”

He turned to Kagami. “Do you need anything else, Miss?”

Kagami was still staring at Adrien, blushing furiously.

“I think I have a problem.”

“You mean a kink?”

“A. Problem.” She spoke through gritted teeth.

“Story of my life.” The waiter replied as he refilled her glass of water, either unaware or uncaring of the specific nature of her trouble.

Alya gasped in sudden realization. “Wait! If this is happening here then…” She turned to Adrien. “Where were Nino and the boys?” He blinked, curious. “Oh, they decided to head home. Why?”

An almost sinister smirk formed on Alya’s face. One that would have anyone it was directed at cowering in fear. And strong enough to be felt from several blocks away.

Unbeknownst to them, Nino felt that smirk like a trail of cold fingers down his back, and promptly threw himself into his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

As if she sensed this, Alya slammed several bills on the table and dashed out the door.

“GOTTA GO!”

Realizing an akuma was about, Marinette was right on her heels. She found a nearby alleyway and immediately prepared to transform and face this latest threat.

“Oh my god. OH MY GOD.” She broke down, letting out the laughter she’d been trying so hard to hold in. “He’s a dork! The boy I’m crushing on is a complete DORK who is in to cosplaying! He thinks maid outfits are COSPLAY!”

…or she would be.

“And here I’ve been driving myself nuts with anxiety over just asking him out and he doesn’t even—”

Any minute now…

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to stop the akuma!”

“Can’t I just take a picture first?”

“MARINETTE!”

“Oh fine…”

_____________________

Luka didn’t realize anything had happened. He felt a bit off balanced for a moment, and a bit colder, but attributed that to being on the Liberty. So he simply shifted his stance to be a bit more steady and continued playing. It wasn’t until the drum stopped that he realized something was actually wrong.

The look of shock from Mylene and the following shriek from Ivan cemented it.

He spun around, not sure what could have elicited such a cry from his fellow bandmate. And at first, he couldn’t really tell what had happened. Ivan was crouched behind the drum set, covering his face with his hands and trembling in what appeared to be mortification.

Then he noticed the mobcap on Ivan’s head, which he was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. And Ivan’s shirt seemed distinctly…fluffier and frillier than he remembered seeing a few minutes ago. He tried to move closer to offer help, only for his own balance to be off. And when he looked down…

Oh.

The dress was new.

As were the stockings.

And the notably thinner and sleeker heels on his boots.

He hummed to himself, considering the change.

“Akuma?” Juleka asked him.

“Most likely.” He replied.

Mylene had rushed up to their practice stage and to Ivan’s side, even as he moaned for her to not look at him. The poor guy was completely red in embarrassment. Seeing how upset he was, the other three had backed away, leaving Mylene to try to help her boyfriend.

“Luka, are you okay?” Rose asked worriedly, trying to respect Ivan’s need for space while also checking in on their other effected bandmate.

“I’m fine. It was just a surprise at first.” He replied.

It wasn’t every day that you suddenly found yourself in a maid outfit, after all. It was a simple outfit. White off the shoulder puffy sleeves with black frills. A black tube skirt. White apron. And…he reached to his neck where a weight was, feeling a choker.

Huh…

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Honestly, he could be in worse.

Rose seemed surprised at that. “Really? Even with those shoes?”

He looked down at the shoes in question. The boots were his style—surprisingly, given it was an akuma. The higher heels were definitely different from his norm, and clearly what Rose was referring to. In any other circumstances, she would be right.

But...

Luka smiled, shifting his stance and resting a hand on his hip. “Well, someone had to teach Jules to walk in heels. And I couldn’t show her if I didn’t know how myself.

Juleka huffed. “Don’t say that like you didn’t enjoy playing dress up.”

Luka merely curtsied, not only showing off more of his slightly ripped and punk-looking fishnet stockings, but almost proudly displaying his ability to move fluently in heels.

Rose appropriately “oo-ed” and “aah-ed” at his display. Juleka merely shook her head and smiled. Ivan was still recovering from his panic attack and had resolutely refused to come out from behind the drums, despite Mylene’s reassurances.

“So it has to be an akuma, right?” Rose asked.

“If it is, I want a picture or two, at least.” Juleka muttered as she admired Luka’s outfit, mumbling about commissioning Marinette to recreate it in her size. She hadn’t known maids could come in this style.

Mylene nodded from her place at Ivan’s side. “Though it seems rather fortunate if this is all the akuma is doing.”

“We don’t know if that is it, though.” Luka warned. “For all we know, there could be some other ability she has if she catches us. It would probably be safer if we hid out inside until this is over.”

The others agreed. And Anarka, bless her soul, actually came up with a large blanket for Ivan to wrap himself in to preserve his dignity. Then she and Mylene helped the taller teen to safely relocate to inside. Much like Luka, Ivan’s shoes had changed, but he was substantially less able to maneuver in them. And no amount of effort or force on his part could seem to separate the heels from his feet.

Once he and the others were inside, Luka moved to follow. He hesitated, however, at the sound of something landing behind him.

“Viperion? We’ll need your help.”

He turned to see Ladybug standing tall. And was that perhaps a hint of blush on her face?

Oh. 

A shame.

It looked like Juleka wouldn’t be getting her pictures, after all...

_____________________

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

He shuddered, backing away from the door as far as possible.

“Ninoooooo…”

It was a fight for survival.

“C’mon, Nino. Just open the door.”

The survival of his dignity, but still!

He’d lost track of the others and immediately rushed home and to the safety of his room. His room, which he could lock and hide away in until this all blew over.

“I have a key!” Came Chris’s voice. “Somewhere…”

“Give it and I won’t take any pictures of you.”

“Deal!”

His room, which his traitorous little brother was willing to allow the enemy entry into.

Under any normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be this desperate. But if Alya caught him like this…

Black dress. Puffy at the shoulder, sleeves that extended to his wrists and were bound by white cuffs. A white smock tied back with a white ribbon. White bow at the neck and white frills along the bottom of the dress?

Oh yeah…Alya would never let this go…

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten into all those anime Adrien pushed him into! So what if the maids were cute? And sure, he’d admit he's had a thought or two of Alya in such attire...

But how was he supposed to know Alya had such thoughts as well? And in the complete opposite direction! Clearly this was the akuma’s magic punishing him!

Nino looked to his window.

It would be a long fall, but it was his only escape.

But would the broken legs be worth it when Alya would soon figure out what he did and be able to catch up to him easily?

Maybe he could try to climb up instead…but in these heels? It was suicide!

“Fufufu!”

…screw it. 

He opened up his window, only to meet a new pair of eyes.

Ladybug stared in surprise from her place at his windowsill, a certain box in hand.

“…hi?”

“Oh thank god!” He exclaimed. He took her by her shoulders, half leaning out and half pulling her in. “Alya’s insisting on taking pictures! Please tell me you have my Miraculous with you!”

“Actually, about that—”

“I don’t care! I’ll do anything! Just please—SAVE ME!”

Ladybug looked back behind her to a distant rooftop and the other allies she’d left behind.

The sound of a key jingling could be heard and Nino stared up at her, pleadingly.

Well, she could never resist the eyes…

By the time they’d gotten the door open, the room was empty.

Nino was gone.

_____________________

Six heroes stood assembled.

Ladybug.

Chat Noir.

Carapace.

Viperion.

King Monkey.

Pegasus.

Six heroes.

Five of whom were male.

And…still wearing some semblance of feminine maid-like outfits.

Ladybug wasn’t sure if she should be impressed or worried.

“What the hell?! I thought the Miraculous were supposed to change us into our hero suits?” Nino groused.

Contrary to his hopes and expectations, using the Miraculous had not transformed him into his normal Carapace look, but had rather simply given him a different outfit. The dress itself was green and had a turtle shell pattern, while the apron and waist belts were a brown color. The bowknot around his neck was a dark green and a brown to match the apron. He wore stockings. And to his very limited relief, his shoes were flats instead of heels.

“Well, at least this skirt is longer.” Pegasus said, now wearing a dark brown blouse and bicycle skirt. The skirt went to just above his ankles, for which he was grateful. But this seemed to be countered by the increase of height to his heels.

Plus no corset. The outfit was still fit tightly and not very comfortable, but at least he could breathe now.

“Though I believe we’re getting away from maid-wear now.” Chat said, conversationally.

Pegasus gave him a flat look. “I’m not complaining.”

If Chat had witnessed his earlier ensemble, surely he would understand.

King Monkey, for his part, seemed somewhat appeased with his Miraculous suit. It was a notably more Eastern style of dress, appearing more like robes worn by palace servants. He wore a light brown waistcoat with wide sleeves over a blouse and a wrap-around skirt. It looked heavy, but Kim seemed to have no trouble with it. Maybe it was made of a lighter material…?

And Viperion’s dress was different in style as well. Whereas his maid outfit as Luka had been more punk, this was more sleek. Wearing a green sleeveless dress and white smock, as well as what appeared to be a green corset. The dress had a slit at the sides, giving more maneuverability for his legs…as well as more show, given the appearance of a garter belt and stockings. His shoes were high heeled but including a beautiful snake design that wrapped around his ankles. To finish it off, rather than remain bare, his arms were covered in what appeared to be loose green sleeves that started at his elbows and extended to his wrists.

…maybe a picture or two wouldn’t hurt? Or three? Because the amount of details on these outfits were amazing and she was just brimming with ideas now…

Ladybug broke out of her musings when someone tugged on her shoulder to get her attention.

It was Chat. Chat who, much like the other heroes, as dressed in a fantastical outfit. Though a maid outfit, it was definitely more cat-themed with a giant paw-like gloves covering his hands, a paw print on his apron, and bow and bell on his tail which rang as he shifted.

What material was that made of, anyway? She kind of wanted to give it a feel and see if she could find something to compare it to. Maybe a quick sketch?

Oh. Right.

Akuma.

Maybe if she was lucky, they could finish this quickly so she could rush back home and take notes while she still had the ideas bouncing in her brain.

…maybe someone would have gotten pictures by then…?

“Ladybug?” Chat whispered, snapping her back to reality.

“Yes?”

Chat frowned in concern. “Is the Guardian okay with this?”

Ladybug froze.

“PSST! Ladybug!” Came a voice from a nearby rooftop, drawing her attention.

“Master Fu?”

“Ladybug! Here’s the Miracle Box. Take as many allies as you can and resolve this as soon as possible!”

“Master? Are…you hiding in a box?”

“No questions! Just go!”

“…he’s fine.”

Chat seemed uncertain, but decided not to pry.

“Let’s just split up and find the akuma.” Ladybug said. “But don’t engage until we’re all together!”

With that, the six split into three groups, with Chat and Carapace going one way and King Monkey and Pegasus going another, leaving Ladybug and Viperion searching together with the former trying not to get caught stealing peeks at the latter.

“Is something wrong?” He asked with a smile.

…trying. The key word was trying not to get caught.

“No! Nothing!” She replied quickly. “I’m just…surprised that you can still move so quickly in those heels.”

“I’ve had practice.” He explained, still smiling. He even lifted one leg behind him, managing to stand perfectly balanced even on one leg in heels.

“I…see.”

Part of her wanted very much to laugh. It was the same part that had found this entire day ridiculous. The other part of her was her inner artist at work and really wanted to make a few sketches inspired from the presented outfits. Like Viperion’s sleeves…and those shoes with a snake coil wrapping around the ankle…

“Ladybug!”

Gaah! Focus!

She turned towards the shout to find King Monkey and Pegasus stumbling towards her.

Her fingers twitched. She ignored it.

“We found the akuma.” King Monkey reported. “She doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Just…kind or roaming around.”

“And laughing.” Pegasus added bitterly. “She appears to be doing a lot of that.”

“How’s THAT for ‘doll them up’?” Came a shout from street level. “HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?!”

As if on cue…

Ladybug and the others peeked over the edge of the roof.

“Has she displayed any other powers?” She asked.

“No.” Pegasus replied. “From what we could see, her power has already been activated to…obvious effect.” He hesitated, resolutely avoiding mentioning his new outfit or the indignity he’d already suffered. “She has only been laughing. And tripping the occasional person while searching for someone in particular—possibly the one responsible for her ire.”

Ladybug nodded. “At least she’s distracted and doesn’t know we’re here. We just need a plan of attack before we try to fight her.”

“No problem!” King Monkey said with a grin as he reached for his weapon. “We can just do a head on attack with our weapons and—”

They stared.

In place of his staff was a broom. A normal cleaning broom.

They sent cautious glances to each other before they checked their own inventory.

Said inventory consisted of a broom, a bucket, and a feather duster.

“I believe that constitutes as a problem.” Pegasus stated worriedly.

“That’s no fair!” King Monkey exclaimed. “Adrien was able to summon a machete!”

Ladybug blanched at that. “A what?!”

Pegasus pushed up his glasses. “I believe it’s a component of his…‘cosplay’?”

“Pfft!” Ladybug covered her mouth with her hand.

“Ladybug?”

“I-it’s nothing!” She replied hurriedly.

Viperion raised his eyebrow at her but didn’t comment.

King Monkey at least seemed to take it in stride.

“Now we just need a plan for attack!”

“With what?!” Pegasus questioned, waving the feather duster in frustration. “Our weapons don’t work!”

“More like our weapons aren’t actually weapons.” Viperion said, considering his bucket.

“I could smack her.” King Monkey offered, holding up his broom. “Maybe your feather duster has dust on it and could make her sneeze?”

Pegasus gave him a flat look.

“I think the broom is the best weapon we have right now.”

“Don’t knock a bucket!” King Monkey commanded, resolutely. “I got one stick on my head one time and it took hours to get it off! Buckets are evil, man!”

Pegasus sighed and rubbed his head. “It concerns me that you’re the second person I know whom that has happened to.”

Ladybug coughed, discretely trying to draw attention off that particular subject lest identities be at risk. “Anyway, I think I have a plan...”

______________________

To be honest, it wasn’t that difficult of an akuma. Especially not with six of them teaming up against it.

Akumaid truly see to have no ability other than the initial one of transforming what any male in Paris was wearing into something embarrassing...unless you were Adrien, apparently. Aside from that, she showed no other power—neither over the clothes themselves or the people wearing them. Well, she wasn’t controlling any of the victims or shrinking the clothing to choke them at any rate...which if you think about it, was rather lame for an akuma in the power department.

The only real disadvantage in battle came in the difficulty the boys had moving freely in their current outfits. And the afore noted lack of proper weaponry.

Their advantage of surprising was ruined by Chat’s bell ringing before they could ambush her, and both Carapace and Pegasus losing balance with their heels and falling over. King Monkey’s outfit, while longer, also meant more fabric to flap about and resist his movements regardless of how light it may have been, so he wasn’t able to get a hit in fast enough before the akuma turned on him and knocked him away.

Chat was able to get a hit in though.

With his…Kitty Wand…

“THIS IS MAGICAL PUNISHMENT!” He shouted as he smacked the akuma over the head.

“Chat. Chat no. Chat why?”

And Ladybug had hopelessly lost her composure by this point and was laughing. Just laughing. Laughing so hard she was crying actual tears as she smacked her own thigh in her struggle to breathe. Viperion was trying to help her stay standing, keeping an arm around her to support her as she half leaned and half chuckled tears into his chest.

“What’s going on? Does the akuma have some power over Ladybug, too?” King Monkey asked.

…

Viperion sighed.

“Sure. Something to that effect.”

Ladybug wheezed.

“LADYBUG!”

“Lu-haha-lucky haha-charm!”

It said something when her own Lucky Charm magicked up a paper bag. With Ladybug still victim to her fit of giggles, Viperion simply put the bag over her face and had her try to breathe.

“A paper bag doesn’t help with out of control laughing.” Pegasus noted as he forced himself to his feet.

“Do you want to try to figure out the Lucky Charm?” Viperion bit out in annoyance, Ladybug still shaking in his arms.

Pegasus coughed and backed away. “No, thank you.”

Ladybug let out another giggle.

“All right, enough! I’ll stop her!” Carapace shouted, reaching for his back. “With my…serving plate.”

His shield.

His precious shield was gone.

“…Carapace?” Ladybug asked.

The newly rendered Turtle Maid sighed and simply threw the plate as he had his shield, not expecting much.

…the plate slice flew through the air at a surprising speed, but missed the akuma entirely. Instead, it sailed past her, hitting a light post.

Ladybug had expected it to bounce, but instead there was a sound of shredding metal as the serving plate actually tore through the lamp post and into the concrete itself.

The lamp post, now detached, tilted and fell over—conveniently on top of the akuma before she had the time to realize what was happening and move out of the way.

SLAM!

It fell on top of her and she hit the ground.

“Huzzah?” Kim asked.

“Well…that’s one way to defeat an akuma.” Pegasus marveled.

“Great. Now can we fix this already?” Carapace asked impatiently. If they took too much longer, someone was bound to catch them.

That someone would probably be Alya.

And that was the last thing he wanted at this point.

“But I kind of wanted to make a sketch at least…” Ladybug muttered to herself, holding the paper bag Charm to her chest.

“LADYBUG!”

She waved her hands insistently. “I’m on it!”

But she could dream…

“MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

It was with some disappointment that the Miraculous Cure wiped away the outfits of the other heroes, returning them to their original costumes.

“OH THANK GOD!”

“That was…horrible…”

“Corsets were invented as a torture method, I swear…”

“Shieldy!” Carapace exclaimed, hugging the shield in relief. “Never leave me again!”

“You okay now, Ladybug?” Chat asked her in worry.

“I’m fine.” She said, even though she wasn’t really. She felt like she’d missed a chance, even if it was for the greater good. But it would have been an abuse of her power to be taking pictures of the guys in that state and she already felt bad enough for breaking down laughing in the middle of the fight.

In that moment, however, the loveliness of ladybugs that made up the Cure returned from their task of restoring Paris to flow over Ladybug herself before vanishing, leaving her holding an envelope in their wake. Curious, she opened the envelope…

She gasped.

Inside were a multitude of photos of the other heroes. From different angles. In different positions. All of them in their new outfits.

Ladybug bit the inside of her cheek to keep from responding and drawing attention to herself.

…Thank you, Tikki.

Best. Kwami. Ever. “Ladybug…” Carapace said in growing wariness. “What is that?”

“Nothing!”

“Ladybug. That better not be what I think it is…”

She shoved the photos back in the envelope.

“It’s nothing at all!”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

Noticing the stand off, the others approached as well.

“It was just something I was missing, yeah.”

“Then let us see it.”

“Can’t.” She replied, clutching the envelope to her chest. “It’s…Ladybug stuff.”

“Hand it over. Right now!”

"NOOO! THESE ARE FOR THE FUTURE OF FASHIOOOON!”

“GIVE US THE PHOTOS!”

“Wait—did she get any of all of us in a group cosplay pic?”

“NOT NOW, CHAT!”

Unfortunately, that small distraction was all she needed to get away.

Viperion, the only one having been pretty nonchalant this whole time, simply watched her leave and the others shout after her.

“…isn’t she going to take our Miraculous back?”

_________________________

Angela sighed, already dreading what was to come.

It was a humiliating end to an already humiliating week as the former akuma victim had been forced to return to her job to go over the updates for the new Ladybug game with the rest of her team.

Said updates were apparently to include maid outfits for the female heroes thanks to one particular coworker who had decided to work on maid outfits for the female heroes instead of the level he was assigned. It had been part of the reason she had been angry enough to be akumatized.

The fact that he was insistent on shoving his maid fetish into the game for no good reason other than having them be eye candy was the other part.

The images in question that he insisted on bringing featured the three female super heroes of the city: Ladybug, Rena Rouge, and Queen Bee.

But not as anyone had ever seen them.

Instead of their usual hero suits, the three girls were portrayed in sultry, even provocative poses. And most notably, all three were wearing some mockery of a French Maid outfit…as what would be believed by Americans, no less.

They might as well have been the initial sketches of pinup posters.

“You can’t still be serious!”

“Hey, I’m not the one who got akumatized just because I was jealous that someone else had a good idea.” He said bitingly and giving her a pointed look, perhaps still a bit bitter of the aforementioned experience that her akumatization had caused.

“It’s not a good idea, John.” Angela countered. “There was no reason to have the girls be running in maid outfits.”

He shrugged. “We could just say an akuma did it. After all, we did just get an akuma who did exactly that.” He said, giving her another look.

She clenched her fists and was about to retort when their team lead entered the room.

The meeting commenced and she’d been forced to bite her tongue. Each of the team members went over their progress and updates for their contribution to the game. Level design. Enemies. Testing.

And then came his grand achievement. Instead of the level he was assigned, he gave scantily clad designs for three of the eight known heroes.

What effort.

“I was thinking we really need to include something to make our game stand out, so I made some extra skins for the heroes.” He bragged, sending her a smug look. “The appeal would sell plenty of copies.”

“Or the controversy.” Angela muttered back before turning to the team lead and hoping that the man leading their group had more empathy…or sense.

The team lead looked over the designs with an analyzing gaze. Tiffeny, despite the initial impression his name would give, was a rather buff man who took no shit. But was also a guy. Who liked guy things. But did those things include young women in maid costumes?

After a moment, Tiffeny dropped the pictures on the table and looked at John incredulously. “You know, if you were going to base skins off recent events, you could at least have been authentic.”

John stared. “What?”

“It was the guys who were affected by Akumaid. Not the girls. If we’re going to do maids, we need to keep it true to life, just like the rest of the designs we’ve included. We talked about this when we started this project.”

“But it’s what the audience wants!” John argued.

“Do you know who comprises the majority of our audience?” Tiffeny asked. “Girls. Girls, gay guys, and those who are exploring their interests. Guys in the outfits would sell leagues more than the girls.” He started ticking his fingers “It’s different. It’s original. And it’s based in actual events. People would love it.”

“But…they’ll love this!”

“Man, if people wanted to see sexy girls in skimpy clothing, they’d play literally any other game! Or watch porn.” Tiffeny explained. “But what game do you know of has had guys in maid outfits?”

“Well...”

“Exactly. We want to stand out. And we even have recent events as justification. So if you’re going to be wasting time you should be spending on level-making to put people in maid skins, then get those male heroes some maid costumes.”

“But that’s not fair!” John exclaimed.

Tiffeny paused at that. “Hmm…you’re right.”

With that, he turned to her. “You’re good at designing. Make some butler outfits for the girls. Something dashing to serve as a counter for the guys.”

Angela blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling.

“Sure thing!”

“You know…” one of the other workers noted. “While we’re on the subject, I WAS thinking of some medieval armor designs for the girls and princess dresses for the guys.”

“Hey yeah! Like a light green for Viperion!”

“Maybe teal might be better?”

“Ooo! How about…”

Soon enough, everyone seemed to be invested in the new plan.

Everyone that is, except John.

“Lovely!” Tiffeny said cheerfully. “Plan it out and bring the concepts to me later.”

With a new task in hand and John’s pouting to forever be a memory to hold onto, it seemed her day was looking up…

_________________________

“That was some akuma battle.” Marinette said as she slid into her seat next to Alya.

The reporter, however, only looked annoyed. “Ladybug had apparently called all the male heroes and I completely missed it!” She groaned and leaned back in her seat, bemoaning the lost opportunity.

If she’d hadn’t been so focused on tracking Nino for the purpose of collecting blackmail ensuring his safety, she would have been able to catch all of the male heroes in their maid outfits.

Marinette smiled. “You know…I may have a connection…”

Alya gasped.

“No.”

Marinette giggled and slid over her phone with a picture showing.

“NO WAY!” She cried out before staring up at Marinette in shock. “Girl, you have to send me these!”

“Wait—you have what now?” Nino had arrived, initially hopeful that he had avoided the worst of that day only to have those hopes immediately dashed upon arriving to see the two girls sharing what could only have been one thing…

“I have pictures of the heroes in their new outfits.” Marinette replied cheerfully as she swiped through her phone. “Oh look, Nino! You’re in here, too!”

“WHAT?! NO!” He shouted, rushing forward.

Marinette quickly grabbed back her phone and hid it in her pocket with an overly sweet and not at all innocent grin.

“Mari, come on, no! Don’t do this to me!” He begged.

“Don’t do this to ME!” Alya cut in. “You can’t just show me that and take it away! That’s just not fair!”

“Don’t worry.” Marinette assured them. “It’s going where all my blackmail material goes.”

“Wait what?”

“Since when do you have blackmail material?”

“Since somebody started a game of ‘let’s take pictures of Marinette while she’s asleep and post them online’.” Marinette replied dryly.

Nino groaned. “Come on! I said I was sorry!”

“And now I can be just as sorry.” She replied blithely.

Which was to say: not sorry at all.

“Come on! Alya made me do it!”

“It was just in fun! Marinette! Please!”

“Do you want me to beg? Cry? I’ll cry.”

“I’ll pay you! Pretty please! At least the heroes if nothing else!”

“Oh no you don’t!”

“My blog NEEDS this!”

Marinette smiled at the minor chaos she had caused as the normally happy couple bickered with each other.

Sweet sweet music.

“Hey, Marinette!”

And speaking of sweet…

She turned to look up at a certain blond-haired model as he arrived at his own desk. Though he seemed to be a bit distracted by the arguing couple.

“Hey, Adrien!” She greeted, for once with no stutter to speak of.

“Hey, um…are they okay?” He asked, gesturing to the two.

“Oh, they’re fine.” She said, waving them off. “Just…a bit excited over the recent akuma.”

At that, Adrien brightened. “Wasn’t it awesome?”

She nodded, trying to keep her laughter inside.

“You…ah…enjoyed yourself then?”

Adrien shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. “Well, it’s not often I get to dress up in a way that’s ‘silly’. Or in anything that isn’t promoting Father’s brand. And I’ve never gotten to cosplay. So it was…really fun.”

Oh. Ouch. Okay, that one kind of hurt. The poor Sunshine Child…

“You know…” Marinette said, leaning over her desk and smiling at him. “I’ve seen a bit of that one anime you mentioned.”

“Cells at Work?” He asked, brightening up.

She nodded. “Mmhmm. I could make you a jacket based off the lead Red Blood Cell. And if you like, I can keep it so you can wear it whenever we hang out.”

He gasped. “Really?”

“Sure! Maybe you can come over sometime so we can try a fitting. We could even play Mecha Strike.”

Adrien beamed. “That sounds great! Thanks, Marinette!”

She waved him off and went back to full sitting in her seat.

Alya and Nino both became distracted from their arguing by the miracle they had just witnessed.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng had just spoken to Adrien Agreste…and not a stutter to be heard!

“What the heck, girl?” Alya whispered, sliding into her seat beside her friend. “Since when could you do THAT and why haven’t you done it sooner? I could swear I saw hearts in his eyes!”

Marinette shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “After seeing Adrien Agreste in a maid dress, I kind of wondered why I was so scared of talking to him to begin with.”

Alya laughed. “Well, at least something good came out of this, then.”

“You know...more good WOULD come out of this if I had pics of those heroes..." 

“Really, Alya?”

“You’re pretty much the only one who managed to get any shots of the male heroes!” Alya exclaimed. “Seriously, how?!”

Marinette giggled.

“Just lucky, I guess.”

________________________

OMAKE 1:

Knock! Knock!

“Felix?” His mother called on the other side of the locked and barricaded door. “Will you be coming out?”

“That depends. Do you have a camera?”

A pause. Which was all the answer he needed.

“Then no.”

OMAKE 2:

Fortunately, in the midst of their searching, the team had managed to find the akuma and her primary target, getting between the two.

“So what happened?” Ladybug asked him.

John gripped his skirt, nervously. “She’s my coworker in developing a new video game and she didn’t like my input.”

“What set her off?”

The guy rolled his eyes. “She’s one of those types who wants to take the fun out of video games.”

“What?” Ladybug blinked.

“Okay, so I wanted to put some maid costumes in the game! It was just for fun! Besides, it would have added a bit of pizazz! Something for the players to enjoy!”

“You could just try making a good game.” Pegasus pointed out. “If you have to rely on a cheap gimmick to get buyers, it may not be a good product.”

"I'm sorry, really! I mean, sure, I'm still going to put it in the game, because who wouldn't want hot maids, but still! That doesn't mean I deserve this!"

The akuma raised her fist and shouted at him. “THEY ARE HEROES, DAMMIT! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN MAID SKINS JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS!”

Ladybug blanched. “Wait…is the game about me?”

Pegasus coughed and looked away. “There have been…rumors, yes.”

Viperion tilted his head. “That seems like a double standard though…since we’re the ones in maid outfits...”

“Not the point, Viperion!”

Ladybug frowned.

“I don’t think I want to help now.”

“Ladybug!”

[robin-the-enby]

Hello! Can I get a Diabolik Lovers matchup? And would it be possible to get a match for both the Sakamaki’s and the Mukami’s? If not then either is fine!

I’m a 21 y/o female, demibisexual though I lean more towards guys. I’m 5’5 and curvy/thicc, so I’m kinda pudgy. I’m goth with snakebites and 3 decently big tattoos. Right now my hair is dyed red, and my right side of my head is half shaved. The length is just past my shoulder blades. It’s not as drastic as it sounds lol. My eyes are brown, and my hair is naturally brown.

Personality wise, I am an INFP/INTP and a Slytherin. I am known to always look angry, even when I’m very happy. Major RBF, and a lot of the time I am angry or just irritated :”). I do have adhd, so sometimes I’m all over with my personality. Though most of the time I am quiet and mean looking to make people leave me alone. With family and friends I’m a total crackhead, sassy, and more caring, though it’s difficult to be empathetic. Very protective of the people I care for.

Big gamer and cosplayer as well, I also hunt and fish and know how to use quite a few firearms and weapons. I’ve been hunting/fishing since I was 2 years old. I think that’s it? Thanks!

No problem! Hope you like this!

I match you with:

Yuma Mukami

Yuma to me seems like someone who'd be intrigued by your looks and would try to get close to you to see what you're all about.

Even if you act a bit cold at first, unless you send him away he doesn't mind.

He'll try and spark up conversations or ask you to hang out with him in his garden, I mean, how can you not warm up to such a bro like him?

Will complement you on your looks, from your figure and your makeup (he'd be blown away by goth makeup, trust me), to your tattoos, clothes etc. He loves how loud and unapologetic and so...you it is.

He's absolutely elated when he gets to see your energetic crackhead side.

Even if you get in the state where you're kinda everywhere at once, he really doesn't mind. Honestly he just vibes with it. Like he won't match your level of energy, he might just watch from the sidelines, so to say.

He very much appreciates your protectivness over him. And if you get close with his brothers as well, especially Azusa, because he is very...magnetic when it comes to trouble/danger, and get protective over them as well, he'll appreciate you even more!

Please come up with sassy comebacks to his remarks, he loves it.

Also, long hair gang? He'd love it if you let him take care of your hair or you his. Quality bonding time, we love to see it <3

He would love to see you cosplay, he finds it as interesting as your usual style.

Your other hobbies however, don't really sit with him. I mean, he'll play with you from time to time, but he's much rather outside.

He also doesn't like hurting animals, don't get me wrong, he knows how to hunt, just doesn't like to.

He would go fishing with you, either to catch some for dinner or to just admire there beauty and dirpness and then let them out.

He likes that you're able to protect yourself however and may ask you to show him how to handle some weapons.

Ayato Sakamaki

He's a pain in the ass, but if you're able to survive that, he's kinda a cool guy!

Also one that will love your aesthetic, but unlike Yuma, he's more interested in trying it out himself. He's an eboy, you can't change my mind, and while that isn't even remotely close to goth, he still wants you to put eyeliner on him, it makes him feel cool and dangerous.

You two would probably have a rough start, but after that I think you'd be a power duo!

I mean, you two share quite a few traits, for example: the S A S S.

Like Yuma, he gets a kick out of it, if you are able to not only put up, but counter his sassy remarks ad playful jabs.

Then, the energy. You're probably more of a crackhead than he is, but the potential is there!

The protectiveness! If you grow close to him, he becomes protective of you, nobody is allowed to mess with you, because they're automatically messing with him as well. Although his protectiveness stems from a different reason than yours, the outcome is the same.

He loves to see you cosplay and would do a couple cosplay if you asked him! Also loves to play with you (but he's definitely a sore loser and a cheat, even though he won't admit it. That's what years of being told he needs to be the best does with you.)

Also is not much into hunting and does not have the patience for fishing, but thinks it's cool you know how to handle weapons and firearms. That is very sexy of you.

I can also see you with: Azusa Mukami - This boy is very calm and will not get into your hair. He is very interested about your looks, because, let's be honest, if you're not used to seeing goth fashion or people and don't know what it is, it can look quite intimidating or tough looking. And he is very attracted to that. But please don't actually be mean to him. He might be a bit annoying with how much he asks you why you won't hurt him when you look like that, but teach him people can show affection differently than through pain and he'll get addicted. Also doesn't understand why you'd be protective over him, but it warms his heart <3

[silenceofthecookies]

Bleach matchup for @stooch-betch​

Match up for either One Piece or Bleach~! I’m Biromantic Demisexual; although I tend to lean more towards guys. Age: 20 General appearance - most striking features, your fashion style, etc. Answer: I’m 5’2.5ft with a petite hourglass build, I have long, thick dark brown hair that reaches a little past my butt. My fashion sense is a mixture between Goth and Punk with a smidge of Grunge; mainly anything black with hints of fishnets, skinny jeans, chains, boots, and corsets. I tend to wear shirts that compliment my bigger than average chest due to trying to bring up my already low-self esteem but in a classy manner. I tend to hold a very hard RBF expression that people tend to believe I’m glaring at them when really I’m lost in thought. I tend to wear mainly winged eyeliner with mascara whenever I plan to go out, but on special occasions, I’ll do a full face of makeup with a cosplay-y flare. I have a couple of tattoos on my arms and scars scattered around my body from being a bit of a tomboy growing up.

MBTI, western zodiac chart, etc. Answer: INTP (The Logician), Scorpio, Year of the Dragon. My MBTI is pretty spot-on for the most part followed by being a Scorpio. My sister is an astrology nut and tells me that I’m a true Scorpio by numerous descriptions.

Personality, how you perceive yourself, and how people around you perceive you.* Answer: How I perceive myself is pretty much kind of all over the place. I’m really stubborn when I want to be and tend to be pretty aloof. I’m naturally apathetic but very understanding of emotions due to having a knick for Psychology. I tend to observe more than be the first to approach someone. Although I have low self-esteem, I try to build up my confidence by performing self-care days whenever I get a chance. It takes me a while to warm up to new people but once I can get a feel of a person, I slowly start to open up, which shocks most people. I’m very animated and pretty chatty once you get me going, I’m pretty sarcastic and tend to make a crap ton of references (while subconsciously expecting people to get what I’m talking about lmao). I think pretty fast on my feet, which sometimes gets me into some trouble due to accidentally hurting peoples’ feelings in which I don’t try to hurt anyone. I have so many walls built up due to past trauma that when people get to really know me, they say I have a soft interior that I try so hard to protect myself. Due to the walls I have built, I’m quick to anger and a bit of a hot-head. So whenever it comes to social interactions, I tend to overthink and silently bottle everything up. When it comes to friends, I have the bad habit of hiding my issues from them and putting them before myself. I’m told I give really good advice and an excellent listener, but I give almost too blunt of responses. I hate sugarcoating things and I’ll tend to say what is on my mind, that too gets me into problems. I am incredibly loyal to the people I’m close to, but I tend to show my love to them in a tough-love type of way. I have extremely dark humor with a dash of memes into the mix; which is one of the reasons why I tend to have a tight-knit friend group.

Hobbies, interests, life goals, etc.* Answer: I absolutely love creative writing! I tend to draw while dealing with writer’s block to make up the creative outlet. I adore doing cosplay makeup, I cosplay but I still have troubles styling wigs, sewing, and keeping on budget. When I’m really stuck on either drawing or writing, I watch anime, eating, and even napping. On the rarest occasions, I’ll play video games such as Pirate Warriors 4, Jump Force, and Sims 4 (Boy oh boy, I lowkey miss doing all-nighters on Sims 4). I'm heavily into Psychology and Criminal Psychology, both are just so fascinating to me that I love to know how the human brain works. I tend to ramble a lot when it comes to Psychology and makes jokes referring to it, although rarely anyone understands what the hell I’m talking about. I have a burning passion for the Paranormal, Cryptids, Urban Legends, and some Conspiracy Theories! I’ll never mess around with an Oujia Board, I’m more than happy to go into a haunted house for the thrills! But because of my love for horror, horror movies don’t really have an effect on me anymore- I tend to laugh at them which makes me a horrible scary movie buddy. I strive to become a Criminal Psychologist or even a therapist that specializes in Personality Disorders. But as a realistic goal, to become a voice actor while being an author on the side, but my vocal range is too low for most female characters but too high for male characters.

Favorites, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, fears.* Answer: I love food~! Mostly Asian and Mexican for the most part due to what I grew up within my family. But my favorite has to be the meats, any kind at all! From cow tongue to prime rib (Unironically Prime Rib is my all-time favorite food as long it’s cooked rare.). I’m very open to trying out new foods as long I don’t have a clue what’s in it or the smell is divine! My dad is the cook of my house, thus while I’m cooking, he tends to take the wheel because it gives him anxiety. But I can cook a mean steak. I love listening to music of any kind; mostly alternative, rock, dubstep, and whatever Ashnikko has going on. I will go crazy if I don’t listen to music throughout my daily life. I like hiking and going on adventurous walks, taking in the scenery while it helps me relax my mind. As much as I am a heavy introvert, I enjoy shopping and a bit of a shopaholic. I also have a fascination with death! Not in a necrophiliac manner, but the whole entire concept of it! I also love animals, I have a big soft spot for them but I really like it when they know I’m the alpha- In other words, when it comes to domestic pets, I love the well-behaved ones. I yearn to have a pet ball python and/or ferret of my own! I hate rude arrogant people who think they’re holier than thou. Especially when it comes to the workplace and they expect you to do everything for them, then continue to talk to you as if you’re below them. I really dislike impoliteness and people with no manners whatsoever. One of my major pet peeves is uncleanliness anywhere, I’m a bit of a germaphobe and cannot stand messy people. With this pandemic going on, it made my germophobia skyrocket even more. I have this irrational fear of being alone, having the thought that everyone around me just tolerates me and doesn’t actually like me flows through my mind a lot. I tend to overthink this a lot to the point it puts me in depressive states, but with some reassurance, I can bounce back. Another thing I fear to death is cockroaches and giant moths; of any kind to be entirely honest. I’m not scared of spiders (I adore them), beetles, ants, etc. but when it comes to these two, I’m either screaming and dipping out or trying to fistfight a moth.

Any additional info you would like to share, fun facts, etc. Answer: I pretty much summed what I had in a nutshell up above. But I got a few more things I can mention for some trivia: I used to be an alto back in my school’s choir, I still sing on occasion but only when I think I’m alone. My friends and sister like to compare me to other characters such as Loki from Marvel, Diva from Blood+, April Ludgate from Parks & Rec, Edward Elric or Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, etc.; They’re not entirely wrong. I cannot dance for the life of me, so anyone who offers to dance with them, they’re going to be dancing with the 90s Barbie doll. I’m an insomniac that gets the midnight munchies, I’ll never in bed but expect to find me rummaging through the kitchen for a snack. There are some things about a relationship that can be a make it or break it for me. I have massive trust issues due to past experiences as well as a fear of commitment. I struggle with anxiety and depression that is overshadowed by my anger, so someone who is patient enough to take the chance to understand me. Reassurance is another big thing I hold because there are going to be days where I start to believe I’m no longer desirable. Loyalty and consent are another two big things with me, I cannot stand toxicity in a relationship. It’s either you’re all in for it or just dip out. I also value someone who can make me laugh and understand I’m not a very affectionate person. I’m kinda like a cat, I like having space. Cheaters, Narcissists, and pathological liars are what keep me away from relationships. I already have enough self-esteem issues and trust issues that my standards in relationships are nearly unrealistic. Little white lies can slide because of surprises or pranks, but when it comes to lying compulsively will really piss me off. Man up to your shit, that is all I’m asking. My Love Language is quality time and words of affirmation, although I don’t mind some cuddles and physical touch. I’m honestly so touch-starved that I internally freak out when someone I like hugs or touches me, but I’m not opposed to it. Honestly, just spending time with that person whether be sitting in the same room doing two completely different things or just watching a shitty YouTube video. I want someone who isn’t afraid to admit I’m their lover, they’re proud to say I’m theirs and to go in public with me. Dates, coffee dates, going out running errands, late-night adventures, going to cons with me, and sharing hobbies! I’m all down for that!! I want a best friend as well as a lover in the relationship.

I match you with... 

Sado Yasutora

Chad may be a scary-looking person to those who don’t know him, but his still waters run deep. He is a very loving and passionate person and most of all, he’s perceptive of the people around him. Once he’s taken an interest in you, he’ll patiently wait for you to open up to him, getting to know you by just being around you. He is in no rush since rushing a relationship is rarely a good thing and he wants to do it right or not at all.

Because of his thick skin and his understanding of people, there’s very little you can do that will scare or hurt him. He will take your blunt responses as a sign of honesty and you speaking your mind, two things he greatly values. Even your dark humour won’t faze him.

Chad may be a silent person in general, but that changes when it comes to the people he cares about. He becomes a bit more vocal and always speaks his mind, but it may come across a little weird because he is not too used to expressing his emotions. His does however make his words of love all that more impactful, and he’ll make sure to chase away any doubts you may have that he loves you. His calm and understanding personality is a great help when you’re feeling down.

Chad’s main love language is quality time. As long as you are around, he doesn’t mind what you are doing. No matter how much he likes his friends, there are times when he just wants to spend time with you alone. He greatly enjoys hiking and adventurous talks, much like you, so that’s a common date plan. He’s also a pretty good cook, with his specialty being Mexican food, as he grew up there. Cooking and eating together is his idea of a perfect night in.

When it comes to you, he’ll never be ashamed to admit you’re his. It doesn’t matter if his friends try to tease him about having a girlfriend, he doesn’t see any reason to be embarrassed about it. If anything, he’s a little happy to say it out loud. Being secretive about being a relationship would just make him insecure about it being real or a joke, so he prefers to be open about it.

Chad’s main focus in the relationship it you, what you’re comfortable with and what you want. He is a highly loyal friend, and just as loyal as a boyfriend. Despite him being friends with all different kinds of people, you will never have to worry about him cheating on you. Consent is also a very big thing for him. If you leave it up to him, new steps in the relationship will come very slowly and are spoken about beforehand, just so he’s sure you are comfortable with it.

Chad, much like you, doesn’t get too hung up on physical displays of affection. He enjoys a hug every now and again, but he’s not the clingy type. When you are in the mood for a hug though, Chad gives the absolute best ones.

[mariofallenstar]

Super Mario Bros.: Fallen Star AU (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

What did Luigi feel in the face of his approaching execution?

A lot of jumbled-up things, most of them seemingly incompatible with each other.

See, Luigi had no intention of saving himself by giving up Peach’s location to Bowser.

After being captured for what seemed to be the final time, he looked over the course of his heroing career and saw nothing but failure.

He hadn’t been able to save the Mushroom Kingdom or Mario.

He’d rescued many Toads from Bowser’s tyranny, but there were so many more left behind.

And even the ones who had been saved were now living in exile.

Luigi, in some twisted way, saw himself dying to save Peach and Stella as a redemption,

A redemption it never occurred to him he didn’t need.

His silence was the one thing he still had left to him.

If he could keep his silence, his niece and her mother would be safe.

Well, he wanted to think like that,

But when he thought of his family, not just Stella and Peach but Daisy and his own children,

He nearly broke.

He didn’t want to leave them. He wanted to stay with them.

Each time he tried to reconcile himself to his “sacrifice,” their faces appeared in his head, and he railed against the deep unfairness of it all.

Little did he know,

His niece had no intention of letting her uncle die.

Stella emerged from the warp pipe hidden in an empty mine where Bowser’s forces wouldn’t think to look.

This was the first time she had set foot in the Mushroom Kingdom since she was sixteen, and the first time she had ever done so alone.

She was in awe as she traversed the country she still thought of as her birthright.

“This rock is mine. This tree is mine. That horizon is mine.”

Of course, that’s not how royalty or property works, and to some extent, Stella knew this,

But she was also young and mentally overwhelmed. 

She looked over the terrain the way a farmer would survey the untamed patch of wilderness they had just purchased,

Seeing both what was there and what would be underneath once every obstacle was cleared away. A sort of greedy double-vision.

But, of course, Stella had a job to do.

Luigi’s execution was in six days. She had to make her way to the site of the old castle and interrupt it somehow.

She didn’t really have a plan,

And the Mushroom Kingdom had become an unwelcoming place.

Everything about the country had changed, even its name.

It was called “New Bowser Kingdom” now. 

Much of the old cities had become industrialized, and new towns had sprung up surrounding ember-spewing weapon factories.

The sky was choked with pollution, and the air filled with the metallic clang of hammers.

Toads had been reduced to second-class citizens who toiled in dangerous and thankless jobs. 

And, while many were still secretly loyal to Princess Peach and dreamt of the day when she would return,

Others were consumed by bitterness, thinking that Peach had abandoned them.

Many of them had lost their last shred of hope in the wake of Luigi’s upcoming execution. 

Stella was deeply saddened as she moved through these sad, soot-filled cities.

These were her people. They needed her.

But she had no idea how to help them.

For the first time, she understood something of the full weight of what her mother and uncle were up against. 

Now, naturally, a human girl in the isolationist New Bowser Kingdom was bound to attract attention,

And if anyone discovered she was Princess Peach’s daughter, that could jeopardize her rescue mission.

But, Stella had a cover story.

She told any Toad to whom she showed her face that she was a reporter from the Metro Kingdom. 

She had come to see if living conditions in New Bowser Kingdom were truly as inhumane as the rumors claimed.

When people heard she was a reporter, they became eager to talk to her. 

They all seemed to have something they wanted her to say to the outside world.

Some felt it was important to communicate how bad living conditions really were.

They told Stella of overly long hours, low pay, strict rationing in winter, merciless fatigue in summer, how a coworker had fallen into a smelting vat and the smell had lingered for weeks.

Others had loved ones who had already escaped or that they had simply lost track of.

They urged Stella to send out inquiries and give names.

“It’s me, Todd. I’m still alive. I miss you.

“Publish that for me, will you? Maybe she’ll see it.”

Still others had messages they wished to convey to Princess Peach.

“Long live the princess!”

“This kingdom is still yours, Princess! It will always be yours!”

“We’re fighting for you, Princess Peach! We know you’ll come back one day!”

It was this last group that hit Stella the hardest.

She found her eyes welling up with tears as she heard those earnest words, pledges of loyalty to her mother.

The Toads were taken aback by her tears.

“It’s just very moving how much you care for your princess,” she managed to choke out.

The Toads came to see her as a living bottle, carrying all their messages. They wanted to protect their messages,

And so they tried to protect her.

Stella found people willing to hide her in their homes, people willing to share their food. 

Still, there were a few close calls.

Stella found herself unable to stand back and watch as an overworked Toad was disciplined by a Hammer Bro. for passing out in the street,

So she jumped in and fought the Hammer Bro. off.

She knew it was probably a mistake, but the testimonies of the Toads had left her so riled up, she felt she would explode if she didn’t do something.

She’d had to retreat before reinforcements appeared by crawling into the sewer.

It was there, sloshing through who-knows-what in the dark,

That she discovered her uncle had not been the only one fighting for the kingdom’s freedom.

As previously stated, Luigi had been very hush-hush about his rescue work in New Bowser Kingdom. There were many aspects that he had never told Stella about.

That included his allies.

Stella found herself confronted with a cluster of very dirty, very fierce looking Toads. 

They were the remains of the Toad Brigade.

No longer an exploration team, they now served as the major resistance organization in New Bowser Kingdom. 

In the intervening years, Captain Toad had changed from a wide-eyed idealist into someone much more jaded and cynical.

Stella, overjoyed at having found a real resistance, confided in him her real goal of rescuing Luigi.

Captain Toad told her she was out of her mind.

Luigi was already dead. They couldn’t count on Mario, and they can’t count on Luigi.

They had a hard enough time keeping their numbers up as it is. Risking the entire Toad Brigade to rescue Luigi was a foolish gamble.

They had already seen so many brave souls fall.

He didn’t even want to mention what had happened to Toadette.

Before Stella even had time to ask, “Who’s Toadette?” Captain Toad had already turned away.

“Forget him. Head home. Nobody asked you to meddle in our business.”

The Toad Brigade had been tracking Stella, but they didn’t know who she was, and they were not impressed by what they saw as her feeble efforts to be a hero. 

Stella had no choice but to play her final card.

She opened the backpack she had been carrying and pulled out a hat.

It was a plumber’s hat, much like her father’s and uncle’s. It was in pink with an “S” above the brim.

She put it on and told Captain Toad to look at her.

He did.

He huffed.

“That stupid cosplay isn’t going to change my mind.”

“It’s not cosplay,” said Stella.

“Look in my eyes.

“Don’t you know who I am?”

Captain Toad looked.

He blinked. 

He couldn’t look away.

Stella’s eyes looked exactly like Peach’s.

And that determined expression underneath that hat...

“Princess Peach...the hero you called Mario...

“They’re not strangers to me, either. 

“I already lost my dad. I don’t want to lose my uncle.

“I know you think we failed you, but I promise it will change.”

In spite of himself, Captain Toad was in tears.

“Has it really been that long?

“Is she really a mother now?”

“Please, help me!” said Stella.

But, Captain Toad shook his head.

“Go home. Go back to your mother.

“Do you think we want to lose you, too?”

But, Stella was tired of being protected, tired of being told it was enough just to live.

She had never felt more strongly that she had so much more to offer than her continued survival.

“If you don’t come with me to save Zio, I’m going alone.”

Looking at her blazing blue eyes, Captain Toad saw Mario.

He knew she was serious.

He agreed to help her.

The Toad Brigade bowed to their princess.

Luigi’s execution was in two days.

[grimoireofwritings]

Hello and I hope you are doing well, is it okay (despite the fact you probably have a bit of matchup requests) if I could get a matchup for BNHA if that is okay?

Okay so the essentials, I am Male (trans) and Omniromantic Asexual (male/masculine leaning), 5'6ish, Capricon, INTJ, in between thin and chubby, brown eyes, red hair up to the cab muscles (henna dyed). My personality is hard to explain, every person has a different opinion of me but the main things I hear are intemidating, empathetic, kind, a serious & calm, and intelligent? (But nah the intelligence part is really only in spanish lol). I'm increadbly insecure in myself. Almost to the point where it becomes self deprecating and self humorous but I almost become hypocritical when it comes to other people feeling insecure/taking care of themselves, I'm also a self sacrificing freak in a way. However on the lighter topic, I believe I'm a good friend! I would offer my advice, comfort, food, help in the clothes of my own back, because of this I may be considered naive and people may see me as being flirtatious even if I believe I'm beings good friend. But all of that goes to dirt if I or anyone I was close to were to be insulted, I keep my friends incredibly dear to me. One more thing about myself, I am a emotional and a animal empath that can become very emotional when it comes to seeing riots/movements and just seeing a cute pupper. When it comes to this sensitivity I can also get overwhelmed by large crowds and by loud noises, usually what helps me is being in the dark and being held/constricted by something/someone. I just like the dark, it's comforting to me and I use it to my advantage. Now onto my likes, I have an interest in witchcraft/the supernatural and celestial, and as being someone that believes that everything exists in it's own way I have an open mind to these things as well as a few unnatural experiences. Naps...I don't get enough of em and that just makes my love stronger, I also really like cosplay and acting in general, and if drawing dark/vent art counts then count it right in! And if it helps my favorite animals in order are Wolves, Ravens, and Orcas. As to not end on a negative note I'll tell more things about myself. I'm very much into PDA if not in public then just in private at least, I want to be close to my significant other and I since I've been touched starved for a long time any touch of any kind I will accept. I am also sensitive to sound (if someone is raising their voice or yelling at me I will think they are yelling at me and try to run away) and light (I don't like very bright places it strains my eyes and hurts to be in for a while)

Hello! Thank you for requesting, you're actually the second request I've gotten for a matchup and the only one I had in my ask! I was super excited to write this for you!!

Your BNHA match is... Fumikage Tokoyami!

I passionately ship this already, I am positive it would be one of those relationships that helps both partners grow and they bring out the best in each other!!! I feel like he wouldn't be someone who feels intimidated by your outward personality - it sounds like you have a bit of a calm and collected exterior that people misunderstand or misinterpret, but you are deeply kind, gentle, and empathic underneath that. This is something he relates to a lot, and being misjudged or people making assumptions based on his dark appearance (his RBF) is normal, so I think if anything he'd be more attracted to you at first above all else and he actually finds your quiet nature very soothing.

He needs a deeply emotionally strong person and a supporter, he's very drawn to those who build others up and have kindness in their heart, so I feel that your relationship would always be full of lots of warmth, love, and a deep level of shared trust. He's very much a vocal person about his feelings in private and it's very important to him that both of you feel satisfied physically and emotionally with your shared affection; he's a cuddle bug but in a chill way, and this man can sweep you off your feet with the most beautiful poetic compliments and appraisal you've ever encountered in your life. Very chivalrous, and a believer in courting / staying persistent with his efforts even past the honeymoon phase. It definitely will help with your confidence in the relationship!

Speaking of which, physical appearance insecurities is something Tokoyami understands thoroughly. He has been aware since early childhood that he looks different than everyone around him for the most part, and despite a lot of diversity within quirks that's been integrated into society, he in particular got quite a physical variation and he always deep down fears he's not attractive enough or that he's too odd looking for a partner to stay interested in for very long. He thinks he's incapable of being handsome, and while he's pretty good at regulating these emotions and keeping them in-check, managing them gets difficult when he catches feelings for someone and he really gets into his head about rejection fears.

All in all, I feel like you both would relate and share some similar experiences in that area, and you could always build each other up and remind one another that you're beautiful inside and out.. and absolutely deserve the best treatment. He reminds you sometimes when needed to take care of yourself and set boundaries with others so that you keep your health as a priority.

Relationship Headcanons:

- 1000000% takes part in your witchcraft interests with you, he was utterly delighted when he found out about it and immediately offers to help you out in any way he can, even running errands to acquire supplies you may need. He wants to talk about it frequently and learn more ideas / in depth perspectives from you - you could teach him a thing or two, since he also practices!!

- After this is when he finally lets you see his room because he was kinda salty after class 1A saw it and made fun of him for it... Lol. But after that he knew you wouldn't judge him and now you both take frequent long naps in there on days off. He's very very cuddly and really enthused about being able to spoon you.

- He understands you have heightened senses and you may sometimes get overstimulated sensory-wise. He is constantly looking out for signs that you're overwhelmed, and always remains very aware and in-tune with how you're feeling. He's wonderful and super understanding - he took a lot of time learning exactly what to do and how to best assist you in these situations. If you get distressed by crowds, bright lights, or noises his first priority is to get you to a safe place and he will politely ask if he can comfort you in the ways you like; restriction probably with hugs and keeping you in a dark, quiet / calm environment so that your heightened state can relax and reset. He is patient and will never, ever punish you or get frustrated with you for needing a break.

- If you're also very tactile and find textures / certain sensations soothing, his bird like feathers / hair is very very soft... Feel free to touch and stroke whenever, he actually quite likes soft loving hands since I think he may also be a very affectionate person, and you're the only person he allows to do this.

- You'll always find gifts that he caters to your preferences in your room, with a poem or some heartfelt words on a note...He does it enough to remind you that you're worth the world and more, especially to him, but not excessively. He still wants it to be a special surprise every time!

- He never ridicules or judges your art, regardless of if it's dark vent art or not. If anything he always compliments your ability to put such emotion in your work and he likes them because it allows him to connect with you and understand you better.

- Overall he's a really aware, giving, supportive, attentive partner and he finds that your empathy and compassion has brought him healthy changes to his life, too. Y'all are goals!

[masosade]

It’s been several weeks now since the fight for Phos’ life and Maso hasn’t left the pillow Lounge even once. Not like he has anywhere else to go. Now that Calypso was gone, there weren’t any despair-related activities he would be assigned to, nor was he in the mood for bothering other people.

Especially since Stellan was tracking his moves. Partially, his refusal to go somewhere stemmed from a sullen attempt to bore Stellan and Neil into forgetting about him. If he never did anything exciting, they’d move on to other things and leave him alone so he could find someone to take the bracelet off. 

Then he realized they were probably not watching him and simply had a signal set up for when he got into trouble so they could make out in peace, and the joy of being boring faded.

It’s not that he was depressed, per se, not really. He was just...unsure of his next move. And waiting with a purpose sounded much better than wandering around aimlessly until something interesting happened.

The first week he was anxious someone from the MiW might come back, or Stellan would give him another lecture, but it was relatively quiet. Then he started telling himself it was relaxing, sitting there doing nothing but resting in pillows. A pitiful lie.

After two days of trying to sleep (just to see how Phos did it), his restlessness caught up to him and he started moving the pillows around, building little caves until he grew bored of that too.

Worry followed shortly after, then anger, then regret, and finally just listless state of ‘whatever happens, happens.’

As long as no one bothers me, I’m fine.

How luck would have it, his peace didn’t last long.

While Maso sat staring at the broken TV one day, wondering how he could upgrade it with the few tools he had at hand and hopefully shadow proof it so it could work even after Phos’ expected return, he heard some rustling in one of the hallways.

Phos! Was his first thought and then, The MiW? No wait...Stellan? Shadow Mariella? Can shadows even mimic footsteps?

Maybe she was still with that hopeless Alice. Maso hoped it wasn't them, because the last thing he wanted to see was a pawn of Calypso coming to gloat.  

The door swung open, letting two figures step inside the Lounge and Maso realized he had judged too soon. Any pawn of Calypso was welcome instead of them, hell, even the Absurdist would’ve been a much better sight.

“Told you the bracelet still works!” Anastasia said, sounding way too pleased. “He’s still here!”

It took Maso a second to recognize the Stanley by her side. He had changed since the last time he saw him, less glitchy and the worn employee 427 outfit (which Maso assumed he had worn ironically) was now replaced by a suit, which looked just as ridiculous.

His expression twisted into one of annoyance.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Not quite,” the Stanley smiled.

“Maybe he meant me~”

“Seriously, are you two here to gloat or something. Fuck off. I’m not hurting anyone sitting here so whatever twisted plan you have to torture me into getting better, I’m sure there are loooots of doomed Bradleys you can use them on.”

“Oh yess,” Anastasia let go of Stanley’s arm and, honest to god, marched over the pillows in five inch tall platform boots, somehow not twisting her prosthetics in the process.  “We have a hoooooorrible torture plan for you. So horrible, you’ll never call yourself a masochist ever again~”

She plopped down next to Maso, not so subtly blocking the exit should he try to jump up and run.

He glared at her. “You’re a disgrace to Bradleys everywhere.”

“I know!”

Stanley joined on Maso’s other side. He didn’t sit too close but Maso still scooted backwards, keeping a close eye on his hands in case he tried to paralyze or pump him full of hope again.

“We aren’t really here to torture you, Bradley,” He said in a softer voice than what Maso was used to from him. At first he thought Stanley was trying to appear as nonthreatening, although taking a closer look revealed that he didn’t look as strong as he did back when they first met. Probably why Anastasia was accompanying him.

“We’re here to talk.”

“That’s just as bad. I’d prefer torture.”

“Oh, any kind~?” Anastasia smirked.

“No! The pain kind, do any of you even listen to me when I say I’m a pain Masochist. As in physical pain. God! You just hear what you wanna hear, don't you?”

“That would make three of us, kiddo.”

“Yeah, fuck you, An.”

“Maybe if you ask nicer-”

“Kids,” Stanley interrupted. “Can we get on with it now?”

Anastasia piped down and Maso reluctantly turned his attention back to Stanley. All his arms were crossed tightly over his jacket, but at a moment’s notice he would be prepared to stab then both with any blade resembling object in his pockets. Stanley was weak but Anastasia was there to be his bodyguard and Maso knew that he’d have to take them both down if he wanted to escape.

Just want to talk, my ass.

“Calm down, Maso. We aren’t going to hurt you—“

“Then get on with it already so you can leave faster.”

Stanley sighed. “Fine. First of all, I wanted to apologize for...my obsession with you. It was creepy and desperate. You’re not even the Bradley, or my Bradley. So I shouldn't have come after you like that. Though I don’t apologize for paralyzing you, annoying you or giving you hope.”

His expression gave way to a bratty smirk. Maso was only slightly surprised to see he still had it in him to be a little shit, despite the beating he took from Phos.

“Okay.”

“Okay! So next, we wanted to offer you company if you are going to go get healed at Seraphim’s. I know you’re scared-”

“No I’m not-”

“Stellan confirmed you are, so yes, I know you’re scared and probably won’t go through it alone but it might help having someone you know with you!”

“It really won’t, I hate you both.”

Stanley looked pleased. He glanced at Anastasia, who took it as a cue.

“Okay, kiddo, listen up.”

Why is everyone calling me a kiddo, I’m probably their exact fucking age. If Maso wasn't annoyed yet, he was now.

“As a Spencer, I know what you’re going through.”

A derisive snort. Anastasia continued, unfazed.

“I’ve also been changed by past events in my life, ones that physically and mentally scarred me for life, or so I thought.” She glanced down at her prosthetics and despite his skepticism, Maso couldn’t help but listen.

“I was stuck in hell for months, a kind of hell that no Office can compare to. And after I was rescued, I was certain of only one thing: I didn’t want to be alive for another second. I asked my rescuers over and over again just to mercy kill me and let me be in peace, but they never listened. After immediate attention to my wounds, they gave me emotional first aid. I was put through all kinds of physical therapy and medication, the first year all against my will because I didn’t want to get better. I just wanted to curl up and rot.

But despite my struggling, it did help. And I realized I didn’t really want to die, I just wanted to stop hurting. My supervisor knew this and she told me they were willing to fix me up, give me new limbs and change my body as I saw fit, if I would promise to give living another chance. And with that deal, I did.”

So she blackmailed you into going to therapy, Maso wanted to say. He was determined to find flaws in her ‘redemption’ story. It made him feel uncomfortable, not that he would admit it. Was he supposed to believe he could have the same? A pill here, a touch of magic there and suddenly he was as good as new, Perfectly Normal Bradley Spencer, here to make the world a better place or some shit like that. Yeah right.

An continued, unfazed by his musings.

“Therapy wasn't easy, even after I decided I’ll give it a try. I hated it for a long while, but eventually the changes were noticeable. I stopped crying so much, I was able to talk to other patients at the Hospital, I found interest in hobbies again and even got my punning abilities back~”

Stanley snorted in the background.

“Either way! I know you’ve heard this from lots of people, therapy and medication helps along with a goal in mind. And I think you know we aren’t making this up to trick you into a straight jacket. But you’re holding yourself back because you’re too scared to make real goals, Maso. You think you will change into a different person. I didn’t. I changed into a different person under torture, but I changed back into my true self when I let myself heal. And I’m quite happy with how I am today. I will never want to go back to the broken husk of a person I was years ago. Even when I thought the trauma was the only thing I had left.”

She gestured around him. “You already know your true self. It’s not a sad little fusion moping around and self destructing is it?”

“Maybe it is,” Maso shot back.

“Nah, it’s not. Because if it is, then why would you still be here? Why aren’t you out there sulking and bothering Stellans and throwing yourself off platforms?”

“...well, because—“

“Because the real “Maso” or whoever you are now, isn’t that guy who wants to cosplay a corpse so badly. It’s the guy who almost literally raised Heaven and Earth to save the life of his friend. Or who spends his time taking apart broken TVs to see if he could make something interesting out of it. A robot, perhaps? A little automatic pranking device?”

Maso made a face. “I was thinking of a scanner,” He muttered.

“See!” An’s eyes lit up. “You wanna have friends who recognize you as one too, and you want to build stuff and make puns and steal people’s clothes to get your hair ruffled. If you really just wanted to die, you’d be dead already. If you didn’t want to change, you would’ve disappeared and quietly made it happen.”

“It’s the hope-”

“Hope isn’t a parasite, Bradley.” Stanley cut in. “It’s a natural state for a soul to have. If your soul only had one emotion, it wouldn’t know how to survive. You basically starved it of the thing it needed the most. Nourishment, in form of happiness, hope and comfort. Your soul isn’t true when it’s full of despair, it’s just starving.”

“You- you guys are just saying that to get me to come to your stupid hospital so you can fix me, aren't you?”

“No. We’re not dragging you anywhere. As we said, we just wanted to talk.” Stanley stood up and An followed suit.

“If you want to come with us, you’re welcome at the hospital. We have a garden, a library, workshops where you can build and craft to your heart’s content. You’ll get your own room and personal doctors assigned to you.”

“But I can’t leave whenever I want, can I?”

“...no. If you do come, you will have to stay there until you have shown improvement or signs of stability.”

Maso scoffed. “Then no.”

“It’s your choice, for now. But then I would look into other options. And I think you already know which one would work.” Stanley gave him a curt nod. “We’ll see each other around.”

With that, he turned and left for the door, back the way he came from. An lingered a while longer, studying Maso quietly.

“...what?”

“If you aren’t ready to change for yourself, think about what’s best for Phobos,” she said after a moment.

“What will you do when he comes back? Cling to him and do nothing? What if he needs help? Are you prepared to give him some hope and comfort too? If you aren’t, what will you do when he decides you aren't worth the trouble? You should then consider finding a purpose that is more than just existing around other people. You can’t help your friends if you’re nothing but a puppet following the motions.” She turned to follow Stanley out.

“Think about it, Maso. What kind of friend do you even want to be?”

And then they were gone. Maso fell back onto the pillows feeling strangely annoyed and tired. He wanted to say it’s because they were testing his patience with their whole ‘we can save you!’ spiel. But as much as he hated to say it, there were things that rang true, things he’d have to think about deeper.

What kind of friend do you even want to be?

What kind of friend, indeed?

[star-nova]

It’s been a long time since I’ve used the blogs for this purpose. I know most of you are used to seeing my happy smiling Disney character outfits, my cosplay pictures, some dance routines, occasionally a picture of a flower or something that I took because I thought it looked nice. Those of you who come here primarily for the Disney content may be a little shocked to discover this side of me. Those of you who have known me for the entire time I have been on Tumblr (seven years, dios mio) probably understand that I have always had it. Maybe you thought I’d gotten rid of it. I don’t blame you for thinking that, because I thought it was gone too. 

I have lost everything. Well, not everything; my guardians and my other soulbonds, of course, are still with me. In fact, our bond is stronger than ever now that I’ve lost literally everything and almost everyone else in my life. I spent six (six!) years working my ass off, first at junior college and then at my four year school, to earn a scientific degree in a field that there is now no longer an outlet for. I spent five (five!) years slowly, gradually...but successfully, for one fleeting moment...integrating myself into this world that you all call “real,” finally finding the harmonic balance between my two worlds. For one fleeting moment, I had finally proven to myself--to everyone who had ever doubted me, really--that I was capable of being a person. A real person, living in the real world, among other real people...the number one thing that I had always secretly longed to be for all of my life. These stupid, childish personas I would make up for myself--”superhero,” “soldier,” “dancer,” “artist,” etc etc etc--they were just my way of trying to say “real person” when I didn’t know how. 

Well, as I said, it was only for a fleeting moment... 

As much as I love to blame my state’s governor, even branded him in my own mind as my “arch-nemesis,” the single most hated blight upon what had once been my peaceful, happy, uplifted existence, I know that’s not really true. Only in my own mind is Governor Phil Murphy of New Jersey my arch-nemesis. You can’t have an arch-nemesis that doesn’t even know you exist, will never know you exist, will never care you exist. Nothing he did was to get back at me. He didn’t do what he did to my state--the only “real world” I’d ever known since I was born--because “Star Nova in Bumfuck, Ocean County, NJ doesn’t get to have a happy life, mwahahahaha.” I know that. In reality it’s got nothing to do with the governor or his orders. 

In reality it’s because creatures like me are not meant to find happiness.

Not meant to be successful.

Not meant to be accepted among the human population of the “real” world. 

Not meant to be human at all. 

I said “creatures,” not “people.” I meant “creatures,” not “people.” I’m not people. I spent my entire life carrying that sneaking suspicion like a heavy weight upon my shoulders that I just couldn’t shake. Hell, when I was little, kids--with all the brutal honesty that kids are known for--would tell me outright. “I don’t think you’re really a kid. You’re something else, but you’re not a kid.” “Star, you can’t play with us. Human beings only.” “Please, don’t make me sit next to that THING.” 

I was born into this world as something inhuman. That, or maybe I was born human and it got taken away from me somehow. I knew that, because all of my attempts to interact with human beings outside of fictional characters have ended up a dismal failure. Sometimes immediately, sometimes it took months. Sometimes it took years. Sometimes I got tricked into thinking it wouldn’t happen this time--I had finally found “my humans” and that meant I had won, that I was human too. All of the people who had ever called me “it,” “thing,” “monster,” “creature,” and “not a human being” were wrong, because here I was with “real,” tried and true flesh and blood human beings and I was one of them.

Until I wasn’t anymore. 

Last year, 2019, was the best year of my life. 2019 was the year that I, after years of struggles and uncertainty, had finally found my place in the world, and was SURE I had found my place in the world. I had graduated college. I had found a real home, outside of the house where everything that had ever broken me had taken place. I had friends from both worlds, who accepted one-another. I had gotten my first job by chance, right out of school. I intermingled with the “real” world in full capacity for the first time, becoming part of the crowd just as much as any of the others there, along with my soulbonds. And being accepted as a part of that crowd, a human being among other human beings, all enjoying human life together. For the first time, I had finally accomplished something that I had only ever dreamed of: my two worlds were in perfect harmony with one-another, and I was right there in the middle, holding them together, belonging to both. In both I had family, friends, love, happiness. I had made achievements that I had been outright told I will never make. By the end of that year, I was driving a car. I was being contacted by research labs looking for new projects from aspiring researchers in the field, and I had two running projects going. And I had found somebody--from this world, the “real” world--who I felt as though I could rightly say I loved.

Of all the things I’m grateful that I DIDN’T lose when I lost everything else, he is at the very top of the list. 

When the lockdowns happened, the real human beings were just fine. “Stay home,” they said, “stay safe.” But I couldn’t stay home. My home was out THERE, not in here. This was just where I worked in the morning and came in at night to sleep. My home had yellow tape and orange barricades. My home had locked-up doors, signs that said “Closed until further notice.” My home was “cancelled this year.” My home was completely devoid of all of the people that made it the way it was, the people who had all accepted us after years and years of fighting for their acceptance. They were real people, who were now in their own homes, with their real families who still loved them while they were home in lockdown. They had homes to be in lockdown in. To them, “home” was a cozy, safe place to watch Netflix, to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons, to run around with their pets and to play with their spouses and children, to go to sleep at night, to do it all again the next day. Home was a place to be “real” people, still loved and accepted by the “real” world, where they still had their life and their success and their love and their happiness.

They had theirs. 

Mine was closed until further notice. 

Mine was cancelled. 

Because they were “real” people. From the “real” world. 

But not me. 

But for a fleeting moment--a year’s worth of a fleeting moment--I had done a really good job at tricking myself into thinking I was. 

I’ll write more later. Tomorrow, maybe. I’m useless now--or rather, again. Useless again. “Useless” seems to be my natural state of things.” Like I said, I lost everything. But my psych said “you’ve got a story to tell, girl. So tell it.” 

So I will. I’ll tell everything. 

Even if it’s just as useless as I am.

[manabingu]

Metrocon 2019!

Hey yall sorry I haven't been as active, I was busy literally every single day of Metrocon and I finally got a breather. Anyway I wanna just summerize what I can remember because I don't wanna completely forget these wonderful memories. I wanna look back at em over and over again 💕

THURSDAY:

Thursday was the 5 year anniversary of my Gundam Wing cosplay group! I got to hang out with my Metrowing buds and we did a nice photoshoot with the pilots and we had so much fun! I miss them dearly cuz they live out of state but the time I had with them is one I always cherish.

I pretty much spent the whole day with them and I decided that Thurs/Fri would be autograph day for us. By golly the VAs were all so super sweet. All of them loved the candy and the pictures I made for them and as I predicted I got really emotional and kinda cried in front of Luci Christian cuz she is one reason I wanted to VA. Her range is insanely versatile! I legit would call her the Meryl Streep of anime & she was SO kind to me ;///;! When I started crying she said "Don't ever apologize for being real. You're a very sweet person, & I believe in you, there is always room for everyone in this industry ❤️"

And man I just felt so happy at that. She makes me feel confident and I wanna keep trying my best. Same with Josh, Alexis, David & Kara! They were all super encouraging and OmG like ok I think I astral projected when Josh did Armin's or Yuri's voice when he was signing stuff. I teared up QwQ I love his energy and dedication!

I think one of my fave moments during the autographs was when I made the "I'm gonna Bertell you what I Bertold him" joke and David and Josh absolutely lost it xD! They were like OMG WE NEED THAT AS A TSHIRT FOR DAVID XD! Like "You just got BERTOLD" and then they proceeded to make jokes about how he roasted Armin in many ways xD it was hilarious 😂! But oof.

I spent most of the Thursday browsing the Dealer Room and this is was one of the first times I was able to find new Takanori Nishikawa CDs so I bought some that I don't have TTwTT I was so happy! We ended the day by doing a run through of our performances for Anime Idol with Trowa. And it went really well🎶Also, at the cosplay booth, the staff liked my sis' Clear Card Sakura so much they asked her to enter the cosplay hallway contest and I'm so proud of her cuz this her first cosplay ever ^u^- she looks so cute! And many people wanted her pic all weekend :D

FRIDAY:

As usual this is Anime Idol day and I was super busy prepping. I was a bit more confident now that I finally had performed in front of a test audience. But as usual I am always still nervous no matter how much I prepe. Luckily for me in the morning I was getting last minute autographs and as I was getting Darker Than Black signed by Luci, I commented on Anime Idol and she said break a leg! I had given her an Ochaco mug as a gift which made her SUPER happy 😊! I felt much more confident after that and I went to the Main Events hall happily soon after.

Anime Idol was really fun this year! There was some nervousness from the contestants but we all just got together and made some fun friendships! I'm so proud not only of Mama Trowa but also of the other contestants I mentored or was able to help feel less nervous. The winners did deserve it! It was a very good act! And as for myself, I advertised a bit and got some new people from the toku community to come watch the show! I even saw a Kamen Rider Geiz cosplayer who came to the show it was AWESOME! My bffs who were only there for Friday also came & a few Golden*Star members too I was just so happy and thankful! They really made my day! My bffs were dressed in Ghibli heroines and OMG they were lovely & we did a small Tik Tol together ^_^ it was fun!

After the show my new Golden*Star member came up to me and I legit almost cried cuz they were SUPER adorable and kind and they had prepared a Cecil Ajima merch box for me saying thanks for allowing them to join and that they look up to me as a mentor and friend and I'm so happy I had waterproof eyeliner that day cuz oh boy that hit me in the feels 😭! I love! I got them back tho, for initiation I got down on one knee and gave em a flower bouquet,haichews & a golden star balloon as a way to welcome them to the Utapri cosplay group! So now we have a lovely new Tokiya 😊 yay!

SATURDAY:

Ok so despite loosing one prop, Saturday was really fun! I finally debuted Poppy Pipopapo and I basically used the entire day to find video game character cosplayers and we got to dance with them! I was shooting a music video for People Game for Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Abridged ^u^! Everyone whom I asked to dance with me was excited for it and it was a blast! I loved being able to spread so much fun and positivity as Poppy :) it was a dream cosplay come true! I can't wait to pit the vid together ^^🌸💕🎼🎵🎶! Later at night, I ran into my new friend who is gonna be Tokiya (they were dressed as Eiichi & their bud was Kira from HE★VENS!) we spent a good 2 hrs taling about all our future plans with Golden*Star and their other friend was so impressed with how friendly our Utapri group was that they wanted to join ;w; it was actually really sweet💕

SUNDAY:

Was THE BIG DAY AT LAST. The very first time my Utapri cosplay group Golden*Star Cosplay would finally have our first meeting/photoshoot together as ST☆RISH & QUARTET NIGHT! And it went flawless like a dream! Guys, omg I hit a milliom dollar jackpot. I love this group so much 😭! Everyone was on time, we all worked together so well, the photoshoot went perfectly! And we livestreamed it! After the photos, we sang Reiji a Happy Birthday 🎁 cuz it was his character bday the day before & I bought cupcakes and fried chicken for everyone xD! Cuz that's what Shining Live said happened fffff. In the most complimentary way, I feel like this cast is so on point, we are all pretty much our characters xD! I thought managing an 11 member group would be too hard at first but we have all grown so close over this year & we all have so much love and respect for one another, we all just felt so natural hanging out, as of we had done this for years ;U; ! It was lovely!

We tried stalling saying goodbye cuz we didn't wanna leave ;///; but we had to. We are still planning to watch Maji Love Kingdom as a group when SentaiFilmworks gives the green light for theatrical releases. But for now we will work hard to make HolMat even better! I love them all and can't wait to keep working together to make more wonderful memories! See yall next con!

[lycanguts]

CALLOUT POST FOR A PAST ABUSER/MANIPULATOR

So this is definitely not my usual type of content, I don’t like causing unnecessary drama but this is inexcusable. It's probably weird seeing this in a fandom tag but these are his main interests and if it could be boosted in this communities it might save some people.

Tumblr user @yucee is a terrible person both in how he acts and how he treats other people, he’s manipulative, quick to deflect blame and never takes responsibility for his actions. As if that wasn’t bad enough he's also a pedophile.

This post will not only contain my testimonial but the testimonials of two others who also met him.

This one is a doozy but I recommend reading it, I want as many people as possible to see his true nature (especially anyone >22 years old).

I would like make it known that he loves to play the victim in any scenario regardless of whose fault it actually is (most of the time it’s his however, he has a real hard time accepting blame for anything).

While my trauma is not as severe as others who have come in contact with him he ruined what was supposed to be a fun weekend with my friends as well as our first meeting which should’ve been something amazing.

Unfortunately I deleted our conversations on Discord as I didn’t think when I did I would be making this type of post, thankfully his tumblr messenger is still open to me as well as a few text messages post-meetup. Most things that revealed his true nature were said during voice chat so most of these messages are only a small glimpse at what an awful person he is.

My Testimonial:

Hello my name is Anthony, I'm 22 years old and I had met yucee three years back when we had a mutual friend. While we didn’t have much in common he seemed like a nice enough guy and someone I’d like to befriend. We had similar tastes in pokemon as well as similar music tastes, and while we had known each other for three years we hadn’t really talked consistently until mid 2017. It was around the latter half of this year that I had developed feelings for him and after a few weeks of hesitation I asked him out and was excited when he said “yes”. Had third been months ago I’d say our relationship was a good one, he accepted me for who I was and I was just happy to find another trans guy with no interest in anything sexual.

However looking back now I realize not only was Yucee extremely self centered but he made sure to link me to his “coping” fic every other day expecting me to read he one sentence he had added while when I would send him my art it was a 50/50 chance I would ever receive good feedback if any at all (his comments were either “cute” or “gay”, sometimes he would just ignore it altogether).

Did I mention he also invited himself to the convention I attended this summer? Around mid March I had planned on asking him as I was going to test the waters and see if by describing my con experiences it would be something he would be interested in attending possibly next year, however as soon as I brought up I was going to a convention he chirped in with “I want to go too!”. He was excited, I was too, and we soon began to make plans to meet each other. During this time let me point out how he would say things like “are we going to be around your friends the entire convention?” and “since you always get to see your friends can I have you to myself?” And “next year, if you still like me then, I want to go to MTAC, just you and me I don’t want your friends there.” And other things of this nature. At first I thought he was just joking around but it became evident to me after the fact that he was becoming extremely possessive of me to the point he was already picking out what costume I would wear for MTAC. Not only this but when he learned me and my friends had already planned a cosplay group he became upset because we were dating so we should’ve had matching costumes. Again this was mid March and the convention was early in early June, I had been working on what costumes I had since December. He was dead set on cosplaying persona characters and while I liked persona I didn’t think I’d have enough time to throw a costume together. Eventually he seemed pleased enough I’d be cosplaying Akira Fudo while he cosplayed Akira from persona, but he still complained that me and my friend were acting more like a couple than he and I were because I had a matching cosplay with her, “we’re boyfriends we should be matching he’d say”. Again, my friends plan our convention going experience well in advance, Yucee had pushed himself into our plans and was upset that nothing was going his way 100%, and that reflected in his behavior at the convention (we’ll get to that shitshow soon enough).

So it’s planning time, we have a few months, I tell him what kinds of things he can buy in the vendor hall and he starts buying his costumes and he estimates he’ll be able to save at least $800 of his SSI checks up to the point, but him being the impulsive man he is he had barely $300. He didn’t even buy his own ticket, he had spent all of his check from May on even more akeshu prints and costume stuff so he didn’t have enough to pay for a preregistration ticket (these closed on may 31st), so I offered to buy his ticket if he paid me back when I came to get him.

When it came to the issue of how he was going to get to my home I of course offered to drive him as long as he helped with gas and such.

Many, many times I assured him I would come and get him, I even had my car worked on just so I could be confident it would make the trip, but every so often he would say things like “I shouldn’t even be planning this, none of my plans ever work out.”

Every time this came up I assured him that it wouldn’t be an issue, while I had never made a trip this long by myself before I was more than willing.

Whenever I picked him up he gave me $50 for gas when he should’ve given me $150 ($100 for gas there and back, $50 for the ticket). But if we wanna get technical he also owed me an extra $50 on top of this, money he said he’d pay me during the convention (he didn’t). I had bought him a pair of shoes for a costume he didn’t wear (because he was too busy wearing my Guzma shoes) and two face products he used twice but stopped using after it didn’t work fast enough for his liking.

The $50 he had given me however was money he had guilted his dad into giving him, his dad couldn’t meet me halfway because he had stomach issues and was worried he wouldn’t be able to make the trip, which I was fine with, but he had told me he would ask his dad for more money from his monthly check because it was “his [dad’s] fault” I would have to drive the whole way. Also when I first was introduced to his father he introduced me as his boyfriend when I had made it VERY clear that I wanted to be introduced as only a friend, so he outted me without even considering my feelings.

For most of the car ride back he complained constantly about the heat, I had warned him my A/C was on the fritz but he continuously brought t up ever few minutes that he was hot. It was a four hour car ride.

As for the convention itself I will condense it to bullets because there’s a LOT to dive into.

June 7th (Day Before Con)

-I had warned him that he would have to come to work with me when he stayed at my house, since he was unaccustomed to waking up early I offered to wake him twenty minutes before I left (8:00 AM). The moment he woke up he didn’t wish me a happy birthday, the first words out of his mouth were “what are we doing for breakfast?” When I offered him one of my protein bars he made he comment how that wouldn’t fill him up and how he needed something with sodium, he then proceeded to try to get me to cook him a can of soup. This was five minutes before I was supposed to leave to pick up my friend/coworker. I made him a peanut butter sandwich because peanut butter is filling and added a bit of salt because salty peanut butter is good. He didn’t even finish the sandwich, handed it back to me with two bites out of it and continued to complain about being hungry until lunch time.

-When my friend was talking about how shitty her parent was Yucee responded with “if that was my dad I would just stand up to him” without realizing that my friend’s parent is verbally and emotionally abusive to her, unlike his dad who I assume just doesn’t coddle him like his mom did. He would say often how his dad was a terrible person and then turn around and say he couldn't wait for his dad to get a settlement (which he intended to give Yucee a good part of). His dad is also accepting of him and supportive of him to the point he even is helping fund his T shots/top surgery. When I told him that my friend's parent was not his father he immediately fired back with "Oh well you can't compare suffering."

You're probably wondering why I referred to my friend's parent as her parent as opposed to her "mother", well about that...

This is in his about. We’ll get into this later.

-We’re short staffed at work, he offered to help. He refused to do litterboxes because of the smell, it took three times of asking him to sweep for me to eventually hand him the broom to sweep, he proceeded to wildly rock the broom back and fourth saying he didn’t know how to sweep, I then asked him to do dishes since he didn’t know how to sweep (he didn’t do the dishes).

-Asked me if he could wear my new pair of shoes because he didn’t have the foresight to pack a comfortable pair of shoes that weren’t for a costume ; whined when I said no because as I said these were my new shoes and a birthday present, continued to complain about how much his feet hurt in my old pair of work shoes I lent him.

-Did I mention he constantly stated that the government pays him to not know anything, and that was one of his many excuses on how he didn’t know how to do even simple tasks like sweep? Other excuses were “I didn’t know that” or “I’m autistic I can’t help it” or “I’ve never done this before.”

-Went into a frenzy when my friends went over a couple of aisles in a very small dollar store, “you guys were going to leave me!” he growled. We assured him we wouldn’t do that countless times after this, this would not be the first occurrence.

-we arrive at my Dad’s house where we would be staying for the convention. Yucee’s frantic squeaking of a toy he had caught the attention of my sister’s lab puppy, thinking Yucee wanted to play he grabbed the toy with his mouth earning a scream followed by a backhand from Yucee. He never apologized. While on the topic of animal abuse: Yucee is extremely neglectful of the three cats he owns. One is covered so badly in flea bites and scabs chunks of his fur are missing and the table on which they eat was covered in vomit and old food, plus they don’t have a litter box so they have to go outside to use the bathroom despite him living near a busy road. Yet he continuously says he wants more cats.

-Whined that his wig didn’t look -exactly- like the picture and proceeded to throw it on the ground, no one noticed him do this as we were busy with our own things. He came out after about a minute and shouted at us “Did no one see me throw my wig down?!” When my friend Seth apologized and pointed out we were all busy he verbally said “sigh”.

June 8th (Day 1 of the con)

-morning time, we’re all getting dressed in our cosplays, Yucee takes the longest despite having the simplest costume and demands that we show him how to apply makeup/put on a wig, after showing him a few times already the night before. he also asks us to do the tasks for him, including putting on his makeup and even partially dressing him (made someone put on his suspenders for him without him even trying beforehand) “I’ve never cosplayed before.” he would say. His outfit was a shirt, pants and a pair of suspenders, he wasn’t even wearing his wig.

-as for my birthday present from him: in the vendor hall he buys me three tiny buttons, $1 each, two buttons that have lgbt+ pride things on them, both of which I can’t wear in my daily life. He also buys me s hat that he didn’t ask if I wanted, especially since the only kind of hats I wear are baseball hats. You might think I’m just mad that I didn’t get presents I wanted, I’m usually the thought that counts type of guy, but he made it quite clear what he wanted for his birthday that was a month away while we were in the vendor hall, he kept making remarks how he wanted a commission done of his favorite persona character, he wanted multiple commissions, and he made it clear he wanted me to buy them. He still hasn’t wished me a happy birthday.

-me and my two friends have had a few pictures of us requested at this point , Yucee gets angry that no one recognizes his Ryuji cosplay and how no one had asked for a picture. Thirty minutes after this exchange someone asks for his picture, he declines saying he’s a “disgusting gross frog man”. Soon after he again complains about this issue.

-complained, constantly, every five minutes it was either asking me when we were going home or how there were no persona cosplayers (there were, plenty) or how he was so nasty and had to go home and shower/wash his clothes (he showered at least three times a day).

-pulled me away from activities with my friends because he wanted me to take him home to shower/wash his clothes (where we were staying was roughly 20 minutes from the convention center and it took him thirty minutes each time).

-straight up insulted cosplayers because they didn’t pick the outfit he liked for the character they were portraying or said he didn’t like the costume because they were acting “too straight”.

-got jealous because me and my friend were “acting more like a couple” than me and him were. My friend and I were Pipimi and Popuko from popteamepic, canonically they are girlfriends and the most my friend and I did was hold hands while skipping and playfully call each other “darling”. I didn’t want to hold hands with Yucee, I didn’t even want to touch him.

-reason I wouldn’t hold hands or even touch Yucee? He had broken many of my boundaries in a short span of time, while it was was wrong of me to not communicate this to him he still continued to push when I was visibly uncomfortable. A ten year friendship had lot less boundaries than a three year friendship/seven month relationship (that I had just met in person two days earlier). Yucee would constantly rub his hands over the back of my neck, he would constantly slap my arm and eventually did it in for me was when he snuck up behind me and angrily slammed his hand on my shoulder because me and my friends had “left” him. I nearly had a panic attack before I realized it was him. He never apologized.

-would go into a frenzy if my group travelled ahead without him, even if we were in sight and only a few feet away he would cry about how we were leaving him behind. Every time I assured him we wouldn’t leave him and he could call me should we get separated.

June 9th (Day 2 of the con)

-Morning routine similar to day one, complete with him still making someone else do his makeup for him

-Said “not all of us having living mothers” rather annoyingly when someone was complaining about their mom. This person didn’t know Yucee had “ptsd” and wasn’t even talking to him but rather to my friend. He sounded more annoyed than about to have a panic attack, he even said what was supposed to be his trigger word.

-Did have a “breakdown” however because we walked a few feet away from him, we were still in eyesight, he didn’t even attempt to keep up with us. Went to the nearest booth where he knew he’d get sympathy, a booth that he knew was run by someone’s MOTHER. Made the comment afterwards that he wished she would adopt him.

-Tried to guilt me should I be thinking about breaking up with him.

-Constantly says that he should’ve never of come and how he just wants to go home, even asks if I or my grandma can drive him home on day three.

So the convention dance party rolls around, which is basically just a clean rave, I’m hyped because this is the first time I’m actually going to break out of my comfort zone and attend it. Yucee wanted to go to as he said he had always wanted to see what a rave was like, the moment we step in he goes to sit in the corner by himself. I told him I’ll come check on him every few minutes, I left my phone with him to prove that would come back for him. A few minutes pass and I go to check on him, he says he’s going outside the door for a second to get some air, so I think nothing of it. I see that they’re selling light up face masks so I had to run to my car to get cash, a trip that’ll take me about ten minutes. I tell my friends where I’m going and that Yucee said he’d be right outside. Halfway on my trip back from the car I’m alerted that my friends can’t find Yucee. I start to panic and practically run back to where the dance party is, I meet up with my friends and we split up to look for him. It doesn’t take me long to find him because I look in the area where he said he was going: outside on the balcony. I look around and there’s a lot of people out there, none Yucee, but upon further inspection I see he’s all the way on the other end of the balcony where no one else is. I lose it because he didn’t tell anyone he was going over there, we all assumed outside on the balcony meant with the rest of the people taking a break, not wedged in a corner out of anyone’s sight line. That’s when I decide it’s time someone has a talking to with him. I ask my friend to tell him why what he did wasn’t okay while I go grab a cup of water, when I return to them my friend makes it clear it’s my turn to talk to him. That’s when I decide to break up with him, not because of his “break down” but because of his disregard of anyone else’s feelings that weekend. While I was considering it I was going to think it over after the convention and make my decision in the future, he twisted my arm for the last time though. 

-Yucee blames my friend Boo for the reason we broke up despite me clarifying that it was 100% my decision

-Also blamed her for being the reason he had a breakdown, because she didn’t coddle him like everyone else. Didn't even bother to apologize for the two breakdowns he had caused her, when I brought it up he would always go through me to do it.

-so after I gave him my two cents I let him stew in a safe space while I tried to enjoy the remainder of the day with my friends (it was 12 am at this point and the con center closed at 1 am). We went to the game room (which I told him about) and not ten minutes go by he’s spamming me with texts and calls to tell me this is why he has “trust issues”.

-We get home and he goes immediately to bed without a word to any of us

June 10th (Final day of the con)

-Stayed in my dad’s basement all day by request, barely paid me half of the convention ticket money he owed me because he had spent it all on merch

I didn't hear from him all day, didn't even acknowledge us when we returned to start packing up.

-when we arrived at my home after leaving my dad’s he locked himself away all night, I didn’t see him until the next morning when I drove him home. (which he didn't provide me gas for, didn't even say one word to me).

I was lucky that my friend Boo tagged along when I took him home because she is one of the best friends I have had or will ever have and despite Yucee's hatred of her he could actually learn a LOT from her about being a good person.

I did have some contact with him post convention which is outlined in most of these messages, but for about the past month I have not contacted him out of one anon (see end of this post).

So just keep in mind that when he says his convention experience was awful that he’s the reason for a good portion of it going bad, he didn’t even bother apologizing to my friends once for ruining their convention, a convention that we all look forward to a year in advance.

Now I believe my friend's deserve to have their voices heard.

Boo’s Testimonial:

(This one’s a bit messy thanks to tumblr’s image limit)

Seth’s Testimonial:

In summary: yucee aka Jamie/Mike McCarver is a lazy, manipulative, self centered man. He’s a 27 year old who acts like he’s a child and plays up his problems for sympathy, he refuses to ever take blame or apologize for anything because how could he do wrong when he’s autistic/disabled. If he ever does apologize he never says it directly to the person, rather he goes for a general apology. He also says he’s learned from his mistakes but it’s obvious that he’s just saying that in an attempt to placate those he’s wronged or save face.

He’s also known to twist words to garner sympathy, what a shocker:

I sent him an anon as bait because I knew he’d twist the words. But I never said he didn’t deserve testosterone, and he knows that’s not what I meant, by not publishing the ask he can twist the words how he likes, which he likes to do a lot.

The anon read “If you paint a piece of shit gold it’s still a piece of shit. I’m not sure what you think you learned from your experience but it doesn’t change that you’re a pedophile. You were old enough to know what you were doing was wrong, in the end you hurt someone and if your not man enough to just issue an apology to them you’re a coward and no amount of testosterone will make you a real man. Your mother and father would be ashamed.”

Oh, and don’t forget about him being a pedophile.

Yucee was/is a sexually aggressive pedophile who refuses to acknowledge that he’s mentally messed up someone so bad that it’s still affecting them to this day and doesn’t even bother to apologize to them because he thinks they’ve traumatized him too. They were 14 years old, he was 22. He seems to have made it his mission to demonize his victim when his victim has not even made contact with him in three years. He says he’s changed but continues to befriend people at least five years younger than him, while they still are legal adults it’s still creepy considering the past he’s had with younger individuals.

And Yucee if you’re reading this: Your victim has not sent you any anons, you know exactly who has because you’ve told me before you know it’s her. 

Please boost this, do NOT interact with this user to send hate, and PLEASE stay safe.

[02m1lk]

180816 Sina Interview

2nd of August, on the day of cai xukun’s birthday, he released his first EP, and held a press conference for his new songs.

The 3 songs released so far in this EP, are all cai xukun’s original self composed works. The 3 ‘children’ he cherishes. On the dawn that they were finally going to be ‘born’, cai xukun woke up early; anxiously, excitedly and repeatedly thought over on how to properly express, how to introduce them to everyone.

If we looked at it objectively, that is the event of a highly popular idol. Yet when on site; the interactive game segments, ‘cheesy pick-up lines’ confession segments, the things that we have gotten used to and naturally assume will happen at an ‘idol’ event were all missing. The entire event, cai xukun played an MV of his song, detailedly talked about the composing and making of each song, showed the DJ skills that he had been practicing… nothing that didn’t revolve around music.

We’ve interacted with cai xukun a few times on different occasions. Like other male celebrities his age, he couldn’t help but exhibit a little playfulness, revealing the everyday behaviour of youths. Whenever we interact with cai xukun, he always seemed calm, reserved, and his topics always rounded back to ‘stage’, ‘works’. He is ‘single-minded’ (towards music), but for the us that wants to know more details about celebrities’ lives, this is inevitably a little boring. The ‘reservations’ that he has, sometimes gets teased by fans as being too ‘official’.

“Do you wish people will know less about your private life? That you only hope to share with them the you that is on stage?” After going through half of the interview, and having our questions constantly get ‘pushed away’, we directly asked about our doubts.

“I probably only know how to talk about these things (stage, music). Not to say that I don’t share more… perhaps it’s not in my personality (to do so).”

He says, “Only on stage can I be my true self”, and his music takes up a huge part of his life. You can say, the music tasks we’ve categorised as arduous jobs have become ingrained in cai xukun. When talking about music, from his point of view - he’s talking about himself.

As everyone knows, cai xukun’s journey in <Idol Producer> was victorious, shooting to fame through the programme. But his star journey prior to this was not smooth, having gone through a few years of difficulties. Although everyone shot to fame the same way through audition programmes; whilst among these fresh youths that are still following the arranged tight schedules, working hard to adjust to their daily bustle and the feelings of being a little ‘lost’, cai xukun is very certain of: “I have my own plans everyday, I am very sure of what I want.

Since the official debut from <IPD>, there has been a lot of discussions and debates about cai xukun and nine percent. Having no music productions after months of debuting, it has lead to criticisms such as “Only showing visuals, wasting their popularity”, “A year of being an idol was just a dream”; including cai xukun and a few other members having set up their own work studio, or members absent from group events, triggered guesses among netizens about the group’s development. As the member with the highest popularity at the centre position, cai xukun’s every movement is magnified and observed, all sorts of rumours lingering.

When it comes to the matters of work, he responds with confidence. Individual music productions? He’s had that long ago, but because of his concept to compile them into an album, he calmly waited, and continued polishing his works. Nine percent is but an empty shell? “The group has already finished recording two songs, I’ll personally watch over the production of this album”….

But towards other trivial matters, we asked if he was sensitive to all the external voices. He only calmly answers: “I focus on myself.”

“Then have you adjusted to the pace of the entertainment industry?”

“I have my own pace, I’m adjusted to my own pace.” Cai xukun corrected us.

Part 1.

“Being yourself? How would you define yourself?”

“Every song (of mine) is how I express myself.”

On the last day of nine percent’s fan meeting, all nine members played with cosplay. They had on exaggerated make up, and while dressed in all sorts of strange clothing, all of them danced to <Mack Daddy> in their cosplayed classic characters. It was a way of ‘letting themselves go’ to bid goodbye at the end of a journey (t/n: referring to the fan meetings), and it was also to bring a surprise to the fans.

At that fan meeting, the character cai xukun chose to cosplay was “V”, the main character of the movie <V for Vendetta>. He wore a small moustache, and when performing, he had fun with the other boys. At the end of the fan meet, cai xukun expressed his thoughts as the leader of the group: “Today all of us put effort into cosplaying, but from today onwards, we will only cosplay ourselves.”

“Then, how would you define your ‘true self’?” This interview, we tossed him a question.

“My dad’s surname is Cai, and my mom’s surname is Xu!” He caught us off guard with an unexpected answer. Seeing our awkward response, he cleared his throat, and said in a serious manner: “Actually I don’t know how to define myself. But as a singer, your works definitely speaks for you. Firstly I have to have my own style of music, so whenever I work on a song, I will add my own style into it. Every song has to be my own original composition. I feel that this is also a way of expressing myself.”

Sigh, we had wanted to use this opportunity to talk about his personality in his everyday life, yet this boy, again rounded the topic back to music. Whenever we hold an interview with cai xukun, it always feels like, other than talking about music and stage experiences; about other things - he always seems to use the shortest, most ‘surface’ answers to seal your attempts at digging deeper. At first, we weren’t used to it, and thought he was closing himself up on purpose. But after a few interactions, instead we felt something else. Perhaps from cai xukun’s point of view, he genuinely sees the him that is on stage, in music, as his ‘complete self’. Music has assimilated into every crack in his life. That is why he says, “I probably only know how to talk about these things (stage, music). They are an indispensable part of my life.”

To cai xukun, he isn’t too affected by the external world, no longer following the crowd. The moment he was certain about becoming his ‘true self’, had started from the moment he’d found his own style on stage. “From then on, I knew what I should do, what kind of person I wanted to become.”

The ‘moment he found his own style’, has to be backtracked to a few years ago, when he participated in <Super Idol>.

He started liking singing at the age of ten, having continuously participated in competitions since he was little. But it wasn’t until the first season of <Super Idol> in 2015, did cai xukun first receive a systemised training, and truly had contact with the ‘real’ stage. His first appearance (on stage), cai xukun would be nervous too. But he says, ever since he was young his character has been one of “As long as I’m doing something I like, I will persevere and focus on doing it well.” To capture the feeling of being on stage and completely freeing himself - other than completing the programme’s everyday arranged classes, cai xukun also came up with a small ‘trick’ that he uses even till today. “I will re-watch the performances. I will watch it over and over, and see where my problem is. eg. If I spot a detail where a dance move wasn’t fully stretched out, I must practice repeatedly to correct it.” The moment that let him feel he could truly become one with the stage, happened between season one and two of <SI>. During that schedule-free gap, under the arrangement of the programme, he started a phase of ‘trainee life’ overseas.

Previously during our interview, cai xukun revealed: “Actually after having experienced the first season of the show, I became very sure of which direction I should work hard towards, and also set my mind on using that period of time to change myself for the better. I hoped to show a completely different me in the second season.” After having gone through those days of training, when the filming for the second season came and cai xukun once again stood on stage, he could not contain his excitement: “I really felt that I’d changed a lot, and found the state of being my true self on stage.” And that moment made him decide, the cai xukun that can shine on stage, is the ‘self’ that he wants to become.

But life isn't always smooth sailing. A period of time after <SI>, cai xukun’s journey to be a star was not bright. Even later, he had little opportunities to showcase himself on stage. After filming his first drama, cai xukun set a motto for himself: “Keeping one’s heart grounded in a world of temptations.”

“At that time I started writing music; but back then it wasn’t like now, where many people will take interest in your works, so you have to be really focused about doing music. At the time there were also many voices of disagreement, telling me that there’s no need to be doing music right now. Many voices told me to take part in more film (related: tv/movies etc) work. I received a lot of advices like that back then…”

But the cai xukun that was firm about ‘only on stage can I be my true self’ wasn’t willing to just give up like that, and that’s how he wrote down “keeping one’s heart grounded in a world of temptations” to motivate himself.

(t/n: his motto 花花世界 静守己心 if literally translated for a better/deeper understanding:

花花世界: a dazzling/vain world; where people enjoy themselves with the pleasures and joys of the world.

静守己心: silently/calmly guarding your own heart.)

It was in that period of time, that cai xukun took his first step into composing, and wrote <I Wanna Get Love>. Looking back now, he is fortunate that the him back then hadn’t been ‘shaken’: “I’m very thankful for the choice I made, because it was after taking that first step and finding my own style in music, that I will have more things that will belong to myself in the days to come, this is something very important.”

Cai xukun is someone who, after being certain of ‘oneself’, will be firm on it. In April this year after <IPD> ended, cai xukun being the leader of the boys at the peak of their popularity, made a post on weibo, once again bringing up his motto. “I brought it up again, to warn myself, that I have to guard the initial passion that I had, to keep myself grounded in this world of temptations. I must have a calm, quiet state of mind, and do my job well.”

We have our doubts; when things are silent around him, ‘keeping your heart grounded’ is only natural to motivate, and strengthen your resolutions. But the cai xukun that has now shot to fame and is in a place full of temptations (for even higher fame/wealth), can he really keep his heart grounded?

“I feel that this album (《1》) should’ve proven myself.” cai xukun answered promptly, revealing a proud smile.

Part 2.

“Do you think you are someone who is able to be calm*?”

“I think I am someone who is sure of what I want.”

(*t/n: In this context it refers to a person who is able stay calm and collected when facing difficulties or hardships.)

Previously, we’ve interviewed many celebrities that had shot to fame. It was their first time learning the taste of fame. While embracing the phase of ‘victory’, at the same time many of them also felt lost, not knowing what they should do next. The sudden busy workload that piled didn’t give them time to think too much. For a long period of time they only digest their schedule, often not knowing where they are, what they are here to do.

No doubt that cai xukun too has many schedules, but he admits: “Every morning after I wake up, I’ll think clearly over the things I have to do today, the tasks I need to complete. I’ll set short-term goals for myself; eg. If I have to prepare for a performance within this 20 days, when should the whole music production process end? This type of goals are a must, then I’ll work hard step by step everyday.”

Something that left an impression, was a question raised by a media outlet at nine percent’s  beijing fan meeting group interview: “Now that you are all busy with schedules, do you still have time to practice?” At the time, nine percent was in their initial phase of being popular. The group had business events one after another, never-ending endorsements, weekly fan meetings, yet the rumoured ‘already recorded good music’ was nowhere to be seen. The doubts that the public had towards this new idol group were loud; debates over if the group had become one of prioritising gains (fame/wealth over music), sporting a lazy attitude, only drifting along day after day.

Right then cai xukun calmly answered: “On flights too we have our headphones on, and think over our choreography.” During the period of fan meeting tours, cai xukun will make use of the time between flights and travelling to work on composing. Like he says: “No matter how much work there is, I have my own plans, my own pace.”

The group were doubted for being too busy ‘making money’ to produce new works, and in this interview cai xukun reveals: “Actually I’d finished writing <It’s You> a month after debuting. I knew there were objections about me continuously having no works, but the reason that I hadn’t released them then was because I’d hoped to put them all at once into a more all-rounded, inclusive album. Because if today I release an individual song <Pull Up>, or only release <You Can Be My Girlfriend>, or <It’s You>, people will think, cai xukun only knows how to sing this type of song. But I hope my style is not confined, so when I released these 3 songs together I had this considered over. Also as these 3 songs have different styles, there will be different types of people liking them.”

Towards the doubts the public have about nine percent being an empty shell, including after cai xukun and a few members set up their personal work studio, there were voices criticising them for leaning towards ‘fighting individually’, guessing that the group will not release music productions anytime soon. In this interview cai xukun states: “Actually we’re also working on the group album. Including the choreographing process, I will also do my best to help each of our members, personally watch over the production of this album, and guarantee the quality of the whole album. The stage we will present at the end will definitely not let everyone down.”

“Do you think you are someone who is able to be calm?”

“I think I am someone who is sure of what I want.”

“Are you someone who will be sensitive towards the doubts from the public?”

“I think I am more focused.”

“Focused on your own matters?”

“Focused on my career.” Cai xukun corrects us.

Part 3.

“Have you adjusted to the pace of the entertainment industry?”

“I’m adjusted to my own pace.”

At nine percent’s last fan meeting, cai xukun cosplayed as “V”, the main character of the movie <V for Vendetta>. The reason for cosplaying as “V”, cai xukun explains: “In my heart he is someone with a lot of thoughts, and chases after perfection. I like this trait of his.”

“About doing music, cai xukun admits he is slightly more serious (t/n: To put it more crudely but for better understanding, the correct word is: anal. He’s anal about every detail of his music). Prior to the press conference of his new album, he had already revealed that when recording for his new songs, every breath, tone and expression in each sentence will be repeatedly made sure of, and in this interview he also reveals: “Usually when recording I’ll record two versions, each with different emotions, then select one to go with at the end.”

To allow the overall presentation of the production to achieve the standard of ‘perfection’ in his heart, cai xukun personally stepped in, and participated in the making of the MV: “<Pull Up> had an original version at the start, but it didn’t turn out the way I’d expected it to. Then I directly flew over, I said I wanted to edit it myself. I stayed up overnight at the last minute, including adding in the idea of an Intro at the start. In the original version, the music started right away. But I felt I had to give everyone a guide, like adding in a scene similar to that of a CCTV monitor, I feel that this will better attract people’s curiosity towards the song. The entire MV including the filming and editing, were my own ideas.”

The entertainment industry is that of a ‘fast-food’ scene. To newly debuted entertainers, they have to continuously appear (on screen) in a fast-paced manner to maintain their existence. Yet cai xukun is someone who perseveres with taking his time to work on his productions. About facing this complicated entertainment circle, we asked him: “Have you adjusted to the pace of the entertainment industry?”

“I have my own pace, I’m adjusted to my own pace. I have my own music that I make, things I do myself, including the pace of my job.” Cai xukun calmly answers.

Sina: It’s been four months since the competition has ended. How is your condition of life?

CXK: Actually my sleeping patterns are still as messy, but my initial heart (original intentions) is still there. My mentality hasn’t changed much.

Sina: Is everyday a really busy day?

CXK: Basically. I actually quite enjoy this fulfilling process.

Sina: Do you feel that you are being ‘pushed along’ by your daily schedules, or are you clear of the things you do everyday, and do them as planned?

CXK: There will definitely be busy times, but I still think you have to focus on the things you feel you have to do first. Also I am the type that will set goals for myself; eg. If I have to prepare for a performance within this 20 days, when should the whole music production process end? This type of goals are a must, then I’ll work hard step by step everyday.

Sina: On the last day of nine percent’s fan meeting, all of you wore the IPD uniforms. How did you feel wearing the same clothes you did during the competition, did you feel any changes in yourself?

CXK: Actually I was a little touched, like when dancing I actually had goosebumps. As I’m actually very thankful for this experience, it was a constant learning process. When you put on that uniform again, you will feel that you seem to be a little different, but actually, you’re still the same.”

Sina: Do you feel proud of yourself? When you first wore (the uniform) you were a ‘newbie’ unsure of your future, and now you’re a first place watched upon by many.

CXK: I think more of it is thankfulness and (feelings of) cherish.

Sina: During the cosplay, you played the character “V”, why did you choose this image?

CXK: Actually the feelings this character delivers, is that he is a person with a lot of thoughts, and is someone that chases after perfection. I like him also because I think he is someone I need to learn from.

Sina: So far which quality of yours do you admire yourself for?

CXK: Myself? I think an area that I do better at is (being able to) focus.

Sina: As an idol, do you wish people will know less about your private life? And only hope to share with them the you that is on stage?

CXK: Private life? I think after understanding my stage (performance), you should (be able to) understand the kind of person I am.

Sina: Just that you won’t share too much about your private life.

CXK: Not to say that I don’t share more, perhaps it’s not in my personality (to do so).

Sina: Other than your identities as a singer and the leader of nine percent, when else do you think you feel the most free, and childlike?

CXK: The most childlike, when I return home.

Sina: You’ll act cute?

CXK: No.

Sina: Then what kind of a state is it?

CXK: Just that when in front of my parents, in their eyes I am definitely always a child.

Sina: After your 3 songs were released online, did you read the comments about it?

CXK: I’ll read them carefully. Firstly I am very moved that my fans, they really put their heart into understanding my lyrics, the melody I wrote, including my fully self-composed song <It’s You>, they’ll really be curious about my song-writing experience… I feel that their accompaniment like this have given me a lot of support and motivation. Secondly, I also saw a lot of (comments from) ‘passer-bys’, they do think that my songs are nice, the response from the general public towards my music is of recognition. I feel that this, towards a person that makes original music is the biggest form of affirmation. As these works are just like my children, they are a part of my life, when my works receive recognition, I feel that there isn’t a moment where I’m even happier.

(t/n: Passer-bys: neutral netizens, that are not his fans/antis, just regular people who may not even know much about him. A common internet slang.)

Sina: Other than the fans, there are a lot of ‘passer-bys’ that will think all of you debuted from an audition programme on a surface level, and define you as ‘fresh meat’ idols.

CXK: I feel that you have to accept all sorts of voices, accept all the definitions, but I don’t have a defined image.

Sina: The general public look at ‘idols’ with filtered glasses. As you didn’t release music works before this, many people don’t look well upon you and nine percent. Under a situation like this do you feel anxious?

CXK: Actually I’d finished writing <It’s You> a month after debuting, although many people may have said, why does he not put out his works? But the reason that I hadn’t, was that I’d hoped to present the album in a more well-rounded, inclusive way.

Sina: Previously you mentioned that the EP will continue to expand with new works, when will those be released?

CXK: Around the end of month, it’d be released then.

Sina: Having set up your personal work studio, how would you balance your identity as nine percent’s leader?

CXK: Actually we’re also working on the group album. Including the choreographing process, I will also do my best to help each of our members, personally watch over the production of this album, and guarantee the quality of the whole album. The stage we will present at the end will definitely not let everyone down.

Sina: When will the group album be released?

CXK: It hasn’t been decided yet. But we’re all really working hard to prepare, and have already recorded two songs.

Sina: Any recent plans on your individual career?

CXK: I will continue to put out new works, and at the same time let everyone see my them in the form of stages (performances). And of course I’ll also try out variety shows. I’ll keep learning on many different aspects, and continue to improve my abilities.

Sina: About variety shows, which type do you think you are better at?

CXK: I’m better at the kinds involving food (laughs)!

Sina: Are you satisfied with your 20 year old self?

CXK: Firstly I feel that I’ve produced my own music works, it also holds the meaning of that I am able to continue to bring to everyone more of the music that belongs to me, this is my biggest gift for my 20 year old self.

Credits;

Text: Ran Photography: Wang Bo, Liu Jia Qi Article: https://bit.ly/2Mm4dis

Full Translations: @02m1lk Do NOT repost, please take out WITH credits.

[5hfanfiction]

Back in the Christmas Spirit

Mariah Carey’s song, “All I Want for Christmas is You” never failed to get me into that festive Christmas spirit, even if it was the middle of July (and I was a hardcore wait-until-December person). That is, until I endured the worst breakup of the century right before the holidays.

Brian and I met in college at our dorm’s welcoming event, and were immediately drawn to each other. We had only been dating for six and a half months, but I honestly thought we would be together forever. He wasn’t perfect, but the fact that we could work through our differences made me believe we could make it work long term. Call me cliché, but I was completely in love with the boy, and I was convinced there would be no one else like him.

“Mija, come look at this tree,” my mom gestured toward a Douglas fir.

“Coming, mami.” I sighed. Of course the Mariah Carey song was playing on a speaker at the little Christmas tree farm. I was so not in the Christmas spirit these days.

“I really like the size of the trunk, and it would fit just perfectly right in the corner of the living room, don’t you think?” my mom asked. I nodded robotically. As she continued to drone on about the tree, I pictured Brian and me shopping for our first Christmas tree. It would have to be small, because we were both practical people, and wouldn’t have too big of a starter home. We would take it home and decorate it with our dog or cat (he loves cats, I love dogs). Then we would cozy up on the couch and watch Netflix or maybe play some video games. I smiled, and then groaned.

“Are you okay, Camila?” my mom inquired, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Yeah I just….drank too much hot chocolate,” I lied.

The ride home consisted of my mom thinking out loud about where the Christmas decorations would go, and me scrolling through my camera roll for the fifth time that day. There were so many pictures of me smiling, and Brian doing that crooked half smile he did for the camera.  There were a few candid ones of him naturally smiling, and I swear his smile could light up a room. My eyes started to well up. I kept scrolling anyway, and landed on one from Halloween. I was dressed up as Batgirl, my costume consisting of an old, almost too small Batman shirt, and a mask from Goodwill. Brian was Nightwing. He was the kind of guy who actually put effort into his costumes, and referred to them as “cosplays”. He looked so good in his black leather jacket with the painted on Nightwing insignia and his black skinny jeans that I loved so much. There was someone else in the picture, Gina. Gina was dressed as Wonder Woman. She had found the cape, the boots, and the corset herself, and I had helped her find a cool skirt at a nearby thrift store. Her hair wasn’t brunette, but her large, thick mess of strawberry-blonde locks were epic enough to be for Wonder Woman. Gina was with us so often, we called her our third wheel. She also happened to be the girl Brian left me for.

***

I helped my mom bring the tree inside, and after much deliberation, she decided to put it to the left of the television. When my dad and sister got home, we put on some Michael Buble, and decorated the tree. My family sang along joyously to the music, while I grumbled and hung up the ornaments. The song “Blue Christmas” came on and I thought now that’s more like it.

Afterwards, I crawled into my bed and relived the moment in my head, as I did quite often. It was the morning after his roommate, John’s birthday party. The party wasn’t especially fun for me, because there were a lot of younger, louder kids there, but the food was good, and Brian seemed to be enjoying himself. We played one of those really strategic board games that I wasn’t very good at, but it was right up Brian’s ally. He could tell I wasn’t having that much fun, so he occasionally squeezed my hand and gave me a sympathetic smile. I responded by affectionately running my hand through his soft, almost wavy, brown hair, and burying my face in his neck. I usually hated being one of those couples that couldn’t keep their hands off each other in public, but for some reason that night I didn’t care.

The next morning out of the blue, he texted me “I need to tell you something. Meet me in the lounge?”

We sat there for a couple minutes in silence, while he looked at the table and tried to gather the words. Finally, in a small voice, he said “There’s no good way to say this, but…I have feelings for Gina.”

My breath caught in my throat.

I often use humor as a defense mechanism, so I said “Yeah you’re right, there’s no good way to put that,” with a fake chuckle.

Still looking at the table, he uttered one of those laughs that aren’t quite laughs, more like quick exhales.

“What kind of feelings are we talking about?” I asked, hoping that this was just a little crush that he would get over quickly.

“It….feels like I want to be with her. Actually it kind of feels like I’m already with her, just not officially.”

My heart sank, and my eyes started to sting. This was no silly crush.

They started dating two weeks later.

I groaned and buried my face into my pillow. Just thinking about them together made my chest constrict and the tears flow. I sobbed until I ran out of tears and drifted off to sleep.

***

It was December 23rd, and because I was wallowing in misery, I had neglected to buy any Christmas presents for my family. I drove to a local boutique that I knew would have a lot of knick-knacks for me to choose from. After browsing the shop for about ten minutes, I decided on a mug for my dad that had a Washington State logo on it, a bottle of goat’s milk lotion for my mom, and a teddy bear for Sofi. As I was standing in the long line, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber came on. The familiar pang of sadness hit me in the chest. I wouldn’t be kissing Brian under the mistletoe like I had planned this year.

“You okay?” a voice asked.

I turned my eyes to the voice. It belonged to a girl about my age that had the prettiest , and most captivating pair of green eyes I had ever seen, and long, wavy, dark brown hair under a black beanie. She looked nice, but her stare was so intense I dropped my gaze a split second after I looked up.

“Um…I’m alright,” I stammered, still not making eye contact. “Why do you ask?”

The girl chuckled. “Well, you kind of winced just now.”

My cheeks got hot. Was I really that obvious? “Oh, yeah I don’t really like this song,” I said, shrugging.

“Why not?” the girl asked.

“I….” I trailed off. I don’t usually like telling strangers my business, unlike my mom, who could tell her entire life story to a random person on the street. But there was something about this girl that made me want to tell her everything.

“I’m just going through a tough breakup,” I admitted.

“Ah,” the girl nodded. “That makes sense.”

When I finally looked up at her eyes, they were sympathetic, and yet still curious. I was so busy staring I didn’t notice it was my turn in line.

“Oh right, I’m coming,” I said hurriedly, and quickly put my stuff on the counter in front of a frazzled looking employee.

The girl laughed quietly, and my face flushed again.

After we had both purchased our gifts, we walked outside together. The downtown street was filled with last minute shoppers, and there were tiny trees on the sidewalk that were covered in twinkling lights. I had always dreamed of walking down one of these streets in the winter with Brian.

“There you go with that sad look again,” the girl pointed out.

I sighed. “I guess I’m one of those people who wear their heart on their sleeve,” I said.

“I’m Lauren by the way,” she stopped, and held out her free hand.

“Camila,” I replied, shaking it.

She smiled, and I swear that smile could bring a puppy back to life. I found myself gawking again. Only two smiles had ever affected me this much.

Lauren gestured down the street. “Where are you parked?” she asked.

I blinked. Snap out of it, Camila I told myself. “Uhh, a ways down,” I responded. It was hard to find parking anywhere close.

“Cool, me too,” Lauren said with another smile.

“So tell me about this breakup that’s making you dislike amazing music,” she said as we walked down the street.

“Basically he left me for one of my friends,” I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Lauren winced. “Ooo that sucks,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, “I replied. “To make matters worse, we live in the same residence hall at school.”

“Yikes,” she said. “Where do you go to school?”

“Seattle Pacific,” I replied. “What about you?”

“I actually go to Oregon State, and I’m from Oregon, but my family just moved here,” said Lauren.

“Oh wow, why did you guys move to this tiny town of all places?” I wondered aloud.

“Well, my mom actually grew up here, and she really missed it”, she responded.

We had reached my car, but I didn’t want to stop talking to Lauren. There was something about her that made me want to get to know her. It could be because she was so easy to talk to, but her good looks didn’t hurt either.

“Um, since you’re new here, how about I give you a little tour of downtown?” I asked.

Lauren smiled one those earth-bending smiles. “I would love that,” she replied.

I think my heart fluttered a little bit.

***

We ended up not caring too much about the town, and got to know each other a little bit. We found out we both had Cuban descent, we both loved to sing, and we had practically the same taste in music and books. 

“You saw The 1975?” Lauren exclaimed. “I am so jealous!”

“Yeah they were sooo good,” I told her. “Definitely one of the best nights of my life. However, my dream is still to see Coldplay live,” I said wistfully.

Lauren stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. “Oh my gosh, me too!”

I smiled. “Wow we are so alike,” I said.

“We really are,” she said, staring at me with a grin. “You know….that guy really made a mistake.”

For probably the fifth time that night, I blushed and looked at the ground. Lauren didn’t know I liked girls. Actually, only a few people knew. Even so, I didn’t know how to like someone other than Brian. The thought just seemed wrong. But Lauren was looking at me with those eyes, and it looked like she was getting closer. I looked up, and her face was suddenly inches away from mine. Her eyes were darting from my lips to my eyes, almost silently questioning me. My heart was racing, but I slowly closed the gap between us, and our lips connected. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Her lips moved against mine ever so slightly, and for the first time since Brian and I broke up, I felt alive. I slowly pulled away, and opened by eyes. Lauren was smiling. I smiled back shyly and looked at the ground.

The kiss was amazing, but…

But what? My mind asked. An amazingly attractive, intelligent person just kissed you and you’re questioning it?

I can’t jump into a new relationship when I’m still hurting from the last one I thought back to myself.

Oh my gosh, she’s waiting for you to say something and you’re standing here awkwardly having a conversation with yourself in your head!

“Look, Lauren…I really like you, but-“

“You need more time,” she finished.

I sighed. “Yes,” I said.

She smiled understandingly and asked “Can I still have your number?”

I laughed. “Yeah,” I said, and pulled out my phone. She put her number in my phone, and I put mine in hers.

“When you get over that guy, give me a call,” Lauren said as she gave me my phone back.

“I definitely will,” I promised.

She flashed me a grin, and then turned and walked to her car. I stared for a few minutes as she went, before getting into my Honda. Lauren and I had only spent about an hour together, but I got the feeling she would be an important part of my life. As I drove home, “All I Want for Christmas” came on the radio, and I smiled.

[imagine-some-fluffy-asks]

i was wondering if it would be possible for me to get a matchup please? from chedcl (and maybe mysmes if possible??) im quite a funny person and i love showering my friends/people i love with as much affection as possible! i can be overly-jealous at times, and can be quite clingy. im 5"4, and quite underweight. i enjoy gaming, cosplaying, acting, and singing! i am quite nervous at times, and my anxiety can get the better of me occasionally, but as long as im not down, i love to peform! thank u!♡

Of course you can have a matchup for boueibu and mystic messenger my dear, hope you enjoy the matches!

Your matches are… Ryuu Zaō and Hyun Ryu (aka Zen)!

Authors notes: 💖 = Ryuu, 🎭 = Zen

🎭He honestly loves your funny personality. Like, sometimes when he has a hard/long day of rehearsals or if the RFA are in the bad mood, he can look forward to your silly nature to feel relaxed and at ease again. Like if you crack an old joke, even if you tell him a “why did the chicken cross the road?” joke, his day will literally brighten up. Plus his laughs are really precious and you just wanna hear it at least once a day so you made it your mission to make him laugh with your silly nature so you can hear that adorable chuckle of his. If you do anything silly around you, he can’t help but hug you tight and just laugh, he just feels so lucky to have such a bright and funny ball of energy in his life.

💖He absolutely loves the fact that you shower your loved ones with affection, he thinks you are the sweetest person ever! But, once you start showing him affection, like giving him compliments and even presents sometimes, he literally can not control himself, he goes all giddy mode and can’t help but just run to you and pick you up to hug you real tight. He never gets the affection he wants from all the girls he used to pick up on and go on dates with. But with you, he is finally getting the affection he wants, plus more, which makes him extremely happy. On the outside he would try to act all suave about it and be cool about it but when in reality in the inside he is fanboying over it.

💖This boy is the extreme jealous type out of the Battle Lovers. Like when he would sometimes hang out with some girls he met, and he notices you get really jealous, he would immediately apologize and won’t talk to those girls again cause he feels very bad when you get jealous. But if you talk to anyone else that he sees as they can steal you from him, he will go up behind you and sneak an arm around your waist and pull you in very close. And he will start to kiss the top of your head all the while staring at the person you were having a very friendly conversation with. The other person would get the hint and walk away. You would question why he was staring at them down and then immediately like the flip of the coin he would go back to his upbeat personality and say that he was feeling intimate at that moment. But you know exactly why he started doing that, and you thought his jealous side is cute.

🎭He is the very clingy type. Like, because of his childhood where basically his family never supported him and treated him like dirt, he never felt any love. But when you came along, he can’t help but be extremely clingy to him. And because you are clingy to him, he doesn’t feel bad for being clingy. Like, he is totally ok with you for constantly linking your arm to his and bringing yourself closer, cause he would just hug you real tight and won’t let you go. Some people might find his clinginess unhealthy, but like, he can’t help be clingy to the one person who truly loves him? And besides, you don’t mind, so its all good and those people can chill.

🎭Mother Zen Mode™ activated. He doesn’t like seeing you underweight, so he will make it his mission to fill you up with healthy foods! From salads to fruit smoothies, he will feed you all the healthy stuff he knows so you can be at a good weight. Course, when it comes to desserts, he will take you to the best bakeshops he knows and will order you whatever you want. And when sitting outside of the bakeshop eating some cake, he can’t help but take a pic at you eating cause you cheeks blush up from the sweetness and you have the biggest smile on your face and he just can’t help but take a pic at that cute smile!

💖He actually low-key loves cosplaying. Like, ever since he got his Battle Lover powers and transforms into his Battle Lover state, he started getting into cosplay. And he is super duper excited that you also love to cosplay! He would totally suggest the two of you go to anime conventions and cosplay as various fan-favorite ships. And boy are you two extremely popular in conventions. People would be constantly around you, requesting to take pictures of you two. And if people request you to kiss, you two would be more than happy to. But this boy will go extra and pick you up bridal-style and kiss you passionately. The crowd will roar with excitement and you will hear many fangirls squealing with happiness.

🎭This boy acts for a living, so once he learned you also acted, he got so excited and giddy to the point where he was bouncing up and down with the biggest smile he ever had in his life. Like, you two would help each other read each others lines and give each other advice on how they should take up on their character they are portraying and such. You two would go to each others every performance to be there as support for one another. After the performance, if you were performing, he would bring you chocolates, and if he was performing, you would bring him flowers. You two are each others biggest supporters when it comes to acting, and will help out each other to the best of your guys abilities. Also, sometimes you guys try to find plays that both of you can be in together (and he double checks that if there is romance involved, you and him have to be couples, no other person can be your romantic interest in it cause he doesn’t want anyone kissing you except him).

💖He will do everything he can to calm your nerves. Like, even though he rarely feels nervous, and doesn’t get anxiety as much, but when you feel anxiety seeping through, he turns into this calm and collected man. He will sit you down and put you on his lap and look at you. He will then bring you close and rub your back gently and whisper to you that everything will be alright, that there is no need for you to worry cause he is holding onto you and he will never let go until you are ready. After you have calmed down, he will have his signature smile plastered on his face and kiss you on both cheeks as a way to tell you that you are doing a good job in remaining calm. He goes to all your performances and always sits in the front row with a humongous bouquet of flowers in hand. He is a very supportive man, and will do anything to help ease your anxiety.

[amethystiridescence]

I am so happy.

My life has always been very relatively fortunate. I know there’s no comparison to all sides of a spectrum so its only with my limited perspective and subjective opinion that I can reflect on my circumstances. Its just for the sake of juxtaposition that I mention any of my subjectively negative life-affecting things. With some warning this is to be a very indulgent ramble as I just want to savour how impossibly incredibly wonderful life is right now.

For a start, I finally live somewhere where I can be relaxed and also call it home. After my parents divorced when I was 10 until I was 25, I lived with my mother. She has taken it upon herself to compensate in a very overbearing way for the lack of a father figure in mine and my brother’s lives. It’s left me paranoid, resentful, strained and absolutely living and breathing anxiety and I desperately needed to move out but money and a stop-start pattern in my career after Uni made it impossible. Through sudden circumstances I suddenly had somewhere I could move into and live in my best friend’s beautiful house. I am eternally grateful and forever in his debt for letting me live in such an amazing place. It’s such a roomy and bright place, and he let me turn it as homely as possible. I got to decorate the kitchen in pink and green and light pine, and I made the living room light and dark blue with tons of nerdy books and old school consoles. I have an old PS1 dance mat and Spyro.

My bedroom is unbelievably gorgeous, and my boyfriend who lives with me across the hallway with his own space built me a window seat which I’ve wanted ever since I read an illustrated copy of the Secret Garden when I was 5. I’ve covered my room in fairy lights, printed polaroids of my Instagram, and I sit on my window seat in the sunshine since it faces south and I read with scented candles. I can actually keep flowers in my bedroom now without them dying from lack of sunlight and I buy different colour carnations every few weeks. My boyfriend is going to put up bird feeders outside my window soon. He makes curries with coconut milk and sticky rice and I cook garlicky seafood noodle broths, and occasionally we all inhale one huge takeaway pizza each whilst watching Friends.

I also live in the most beautiful part of the UK. The sea is less than a mile from where I live to the south, and the moors are less than 10 miles to the north. Everything is wide, green and natural and beautiful on the moors and the wild ponies happily eat from your hands.

I went bodyboarding in the Cornish waves the other weekend and the water was so warm and so blue. I also went swimming in my city’s adorable local seaside lido pool in the hot sun the other week. Eddy bought us hot dogs and slushies.

I now have a huge group of fantastic friends and I’m still not sure how I’ve managed to become part of such a incredible group of people. Thanks to a string of aggressive and manipulative bullying in secondary school, my own socialising skills were shot to pieces and I didn’t make friends easily. When I first moved house I felt lonely and without friends and I was panicking about new people. So when I found the University Amateur Dramatics society by pure accident, I couldn’t believe my luck. For some crazy reason they actually seem to like me and want me to be part of their incredible family. They’re all so talented, passionate and affectionate, and I feel honoured to be able to call them my friends. They even encouraged me to act in plays, and my newfound sense of humour and ability to make people laugh still surprises me after several months.

A few of us went swimming and cliff diving together on the moors in a crystal clear running river in a heatwave a couple of weeks ago. I’m going to a wedding reception party with a few of them soon. They gave me a special creative contribution award on their Awards Night with the most amazing speech even though I’ve only been part of them for a few months. I haven’t felt this confident in myself in years and I owe them all so much for that.

As stated before, my career of choice is very stop-start. I went from no experience to a magazine cover, from waitressing to a stint on Game of Thrones prosthetics team to stacking shelves in Tesco for a couple of months. I seized a more stable less relevant job and held onto it hoping I’d manage to do creative things and unfortunately I ended up much unhappier in the job than I thought as I ended up only really doing computer work. The only solace I had was being able to raise a baby crow from a chick and have his company throughout one of the dullest work summers I’ve ever had.

I was stifled and felt stuck, especially since I kept trying to win this 6 month scholarship at a huge makeup school in Hollywood, and I came so close to winning and kept on just missing the mark. When I came the closet I’ve ever been and lost for a third time this year after getting so hopeful in the light of my work going incredibly viral, I was so deflated and planned to leave the job for the first irrelevant thing I could find just to break the unhappy directionless monotony. And then it all happened. I got contacted by a huge entertainment company requesting me specifically to come work for them as a costume designer and makeup artists for international performances, based half hour away from where I live. I’ve been there 2 weeks and I’ve been feverishly creating everyday with and the days just fly by. I’m even going with my team to Texas next month to do the makeup for the event that I’m creating the costumes for. I might even go places like Kuwait or Dubai as well. I can hardly believe my luck. And as if that wasn’t incredible enough, I’ve had a private sponsor contact me about the failed scholarship attempts and kindly offer to sponsor me for a month’s worth of classes at the school next year. So I’m going to work extra hard and pay for an extra month of classes when I fly to Los Angeles in the spring next year. I can’t believe I’ve actually been granted so much generosity and kindness and that I’m now a professional costumer and that I’m going to Hollywood in less than a year.

I start my VISA application this week.

And honestly, I still look back on the work I’ve achieved off my own back this year and I can truly say I’m so proud of what I’ve made. Cosplay is so important to me and I’m so blessed that I can take it and turn it into a career.

We still go Comic Cons at least once or twice a year and I love every second of them.

The boys got really keenly into cosplay this year and made cosplays they adored wearing so much that they went from wearing them for just the one day to all three days of the Con. I’m so proud of them and I love how much they enjoyed themselves.

I got specially invited to a huge London Comic Con at the end of this month as a cosplay guest and I’m staggered by how generous they’re being with covering all my expenses including a plus one. I feel weirdly famous and humbled by the kindness. I can’t believe I’ll be a guest alongside so many real celebrities such as Christopher Lloyd, Alyson Hannagan, Benedict Cumberbatch and my idol Doug Jones.

I am giddily madly and blissfully in love and I feel so warm and strong and sure of it when I remember how unhappy I used to be. It is a huge shame that my previous and longest relationship ended as needlessly bitter as it did. It really didn’t have to happen that way. I wish I had been mature and less scared of being alone and less inclined to retreat into the devil that I knew for all those years. I had no idea how badly matched we were after growing up differently and growing naturally apart. We just didn’t work together and it was making me so unhappy, frustrated at myself for thinking it must have been something wrong with me when in actual truth I just needed different things from a relationship. Consequently I only realised how badly unhappy I was only after I left it.

But Eddy is everything I’ve been needing and more. He is so patient with my whacky temperament, stubbornness and silly quirks. He is the calming, affectionate, assuring bedrock of my life, and my own self-image is so much better for his constant gentle reminders that I am warmly and passionately loved and always seen and even more importantly I can be totally myself without being resented. He encourages me to keep doing everything that I love doing, and he never misses a trick when I’m feeling upset or distracted. He always looks so happy to see me, and his smiles are infallibly genuine and light up the room. He is so ridiculously intelligent and yet he never ever uses it to make anyone feel inferior or show it off. He is so unbelievably unfazed by how anyone sees him and nothing ever embarrasses him, I’ve never seen someone so chilled in their own image such as him. It doesn’t matter how upset or stressed I am, he can instantly calm me down and break past my aggressive stubbornness or soothe my shame.

I love him for the way he can ballroom dance. I love him for the way he loves to cook and still finds time in between stirring saucepans to wrap his arms around me and dip me towards the floor even if its just to get an indignant squeak out of me. I love him for the way he animatedly talks about facts, history, art and gaming logistics with ease and humour as if its not things to be recited, its things to be actively and keenly discussed. I love him for the way he is shameless about what he loves, whether its a beautiful piece of art or a really bad internet joke.

I have a cupboard specially for all my teas. I have over fifteen types and three types of hot chocolate. I serve the hot chocolates with mini marshmallows. I keep a list on my phone of all the silly stuff Eddy has said that’s made me laugh. I’ll publish it one day.


I got to decorate the house with autumnal decorations last autumn after mum wouldn’t let me do it at hers. I put orange maple leaves everywhere and real pumpkins displayed with dried leaves. I regularly lit cinnamon and apple scented candles. We had a pumpkin party with toffee apples and toasted marshmallows on a bonfire in the garden. I carved the silhouette of a crow into a pumpkin.

One of my friends from the society lent me a book that made me cry. I’ve bought my own copy. She makes amazing cakes and looks like an elf queen. I’m going to her birthday BBQ tomorrow.

My cosplay got featured in a magazine again.

I got a new duvet cover with the Little Mermaid on it, and a phone power bank shaped like a unicorn. I can love pink, girly pastel things again without feeling embarrassed. I love having pink hair.

We had an incredible Christmas tree last year. I made and ate so many Devils On Horseback and drank a lot of mead.

Eddy took me ice skating for my birthday. We went to see his favourite band in concert at the same place a month later. That following evening he massaged my achy post-heels legs. We listen to the same band when we cook together. He loves to sing along to any music.

It snowed before my birthday again. We went up to the moors early in the morning and it was absolutely breathtaking. We rolled around in the snow and I petted the snow-dusted Dartmoor ponies.

I had a phonemail with my best friend of 20 years earlier today. She’s coming to stay with us for a week soon. Her voice hasn’t changed since we were 13. She still smells like she did when we were 6. We went to the Tower of London as invited by the Ravenmaster himself and met one of the ravens. We also went to see a Steven Spielberg tribute Philharmonic Orchestra concert later that day. She drew me whilst sat on the tube.

I caught the cherry blossoms this year on really warm days. Eddy shook the tree over me so I got coated in pink petals. I got iced matcha from Starbucks later that day.

I acted in a play that started with everybody laughing then finished crying. I loved every second of it and I loved my cast and I loved the play itself. I love acting now.

I think Eddy’s family likes me. They took me to Disneyland the other week for Eddy’s sister’s hen party. Eddy’s mum fixed my skirt for the wedding and she also fixed my dress for the wedding of Eddy’s other sister last year. Both his parents cried and hugged me when I told them about Hollywood.

I bought a scrapbook with unicorns on it. I’m going to print of as many polaroids as possible to stick in it with glitter glue. I’ve been covering everything in rainbow, Pokemon and dinosaur stickers.

I never want to forget feeling this happy.

[bluebookbadger-blog]

The Price of a Life - Chapter 1

Title: The Price of a Life Fandom (s): Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Summary: I always thought waking up in another world would be a lot more…interesting. At least slightly exciting and terrifying, but it really wasn’t. It was more of a sudden and underwhelming event, that landed me in the company of fiction and its ignorance to modern physics. I thought it was a dream. Boy was I wrong. Characters: SI/OC, Maes Hughes, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, etc. Rating: PG-13

In retrospect, I should have taken this whole 'dream' a little more seriously. I woke up not in my own bed, feeling for a moment that I must have fallen out of it, but soon discovered the grass and concrete beneath me not equal to the soft carpet in my room. Lucha was resting between my shoulder blades once again, because he was a ferret and he did what he felt like. I was almost angry at him for my splitting headache. The sun seemed so bright, as did everything else, causing me to shy away from moving or opening my eyes. However, as footsteps approached, I was prompted to adjust my eyes as best I could to the blinding light.

"Excuse me?" A voice asked, two pairs of boots stopping by my improvised bed on the street. Leave it to me to be out sleepwalking. "Sir, are you alright." I mumbled something along the lines of a being a girl, but the voice connected to the boots took no heed. I squinted up at the man, unable to see much as a street lamp turned on, practically blinding me. Shading my eyes from the lights, I saw to my disbelief his Amestrian uniform. Leave it to me to sleepwalk to a convention.

"Um, not really." I sat up, self conscious that I was still in my pajamas. "Can you tell me where I am?" Lucha whined, asking for me to lie down again. I really couldn't though, despite the now splitting headache, and the fact that my eyes were not adjusting at all. Why was everything is damn bright? I knew I hadn't been drinking, my parents were out for the night, making drinking underage illegal without their supervision, and I had never gotten so drunk I had a hangover this bad.

The man, I assumed, must have been surprise as he struggled to stutter out a response to my relatively simple question.

"Y-you are sleeping in Central Park, sir. Are you really alright?" Central Park? I didn't even live in New York! I mean I was close enough to grab a train but why would I ever….It then occurred to me that I should probably play along. Cosplayers could get really serious sometimes.

"Oh, sorry!" I smiled up at the man, eyes closed against the burning light. "Is there a law here in Amestris against that?"

"Sir," His voice had gotten threateningly serious. "Where are you from?" I resisted the urge to say the webcomic section, as the man's tone actually scared me a little. Let me see, the world of Fullmetal Alchemist…I guessed that would work.

"Drachma, sir." I said as I stood up slowly, very disoriented and dizzy. I stepped on Lucha's tail twice, which he made sure I was aware of with a pounce on my slippered feet. Though still squinting through the light, I made out the cosplayer's relatively commonplace appearance. Brown hair, eyes, a small mustache, you get the gist, all with a clean Amestrian uniform to top it off. Damn good cosplaying, it almost looked as if a professional had made the suit for big bucks. The cosplayer looked over his wire rimmed glasses, a partner of his approaching from behind.

"Your entrance papers?" I kind of just stared at him. It was all a dream, it had to be, right? From the second I hesitated, the man's partner roughly grabbed my hands and cuffed them in front of me.

"You're under arrest for illegal entrance of the country, until your paperwork is verified with court officials, you'll be residing in the state penitentiary." The first man said, stroking his mustache as his partner led me through the nearly empty streets, though every now and then passersby stared, to which the officers replied with curt "nothing to see here" and "illegal alien coming through".

I didn't know where Lucha was until I realized he had found a warm nest around my neck to snuggle up in. It tickled, but at least he was sort of out of sight.

At the station they brought me to, they asked for me to fill out some paperwork. I signed it with a messy cursive signature that was a little more than a cursive scribble. After uncuffing me, they asked some nonsensical questions, to which I had no response, before sending me to a stall to change out of my clothes and into a simple white t-shirt and some baggy brown-black trousers. A guard waited outside the stall as I dressed, still in a bit of cultural shock. The dream was really well constructed, I might as well have been in a coma.

It took me almost the whole time I was undressing to notice the mirror in the room, courtesy of the bright lights literally everywhere in the facility. It took me a few moments to vaguely make out my new features.

My eyes were no longer a bright hazel, and my hair was no longer a thick, curly black mess. My skin had also paled considerably, almost to match my now seemingly bleached hair and pinkish irises.

That asshole Truth had taken my melanin. It was better than what he could have taken, but now I looked like a main character to some anime or shit. I guess that made sense, since I was dreaming about Amestris. A sharp knock at the door woke me from my daze of confusion.

"Sir, are you finished yet? There are other matters we need to deal with tonight." I probably should have told them I was a girl, but I thought they would have figured it out by now with the high voice and, albeit small, chest. I wasn't exactly that convincing of a boy, nor was I trying to pull it off as one but were they really that clueless?

"I'm coming, keep your pants on." I snapped back, trying to get the pants to stay up. Everything was too big, my sports bra's straps showing and I having to practically tie the waist of the pants with a loose string from my nightgown.

They took everything, even my precious slippers. As for Lucha, he handed himself over in hopes of getting a treat. Of course they simply put him in a small cage and left it with the receptionist to watch, but at least he seemed happy.

As for me, I was cuffed once more, given a chain on my right hand that was marked with various numbers and letters, and was led to a lovely cell by a younger officer as the older staff left for an emergency of sorts apparently.

The officer was short, but still taller then I, and kind of dorky looking. With a big nose, thick glasses, and cropped hair, he looked as if he should have been in a library, not a prison. He was struggling to get the door unlocked, the reddish metal bars refusing to move. They weren't rusted, just naturally polished burgundy, probably a copper alloy of sorts. We both jumped at the sound of a short cry a little ways down the hallway. I racked my brain, trying to think about the situation seriously.

'Ok, if I was an episode of FMA, when would I have a prison scene…' It finally clicked; the older officers being put on high alert, the streets being mostly empty, the kind of tense atmosphere - Isaac McDougal was out for blood and on the run. And that meant he was here looking for Kimblee. My escort drew his gun shakily, glancing nervously at me.

"S-stay here…" He said, rigidly making his way down the hallway.

As soon as he turned the corner, I bolted in the direction of the exit only to come to a screeching halt. If it wasn't a dream, which of course it had to be, then I could change something, save some lives, do something terrifying. And if it was a dream, nothing lost memories gained. So of course, being the person with a small sense of dignity and a natural impulsive recklessness, I sprinted back in the direction the young officer had headed in, finding a gut wrenching sight.

Well, it wasn't that bad. One soldier, the one guarding Kimblee's cell, was frozen solid, and in pieces of ice on the floor. The other, the young man who had escorted me, was practically on the verge of tears as McDougal rushed him, grabbing his arm and starting to freeze it solid.

I, so far unnoticed by the duo, decided it would be best to dive into a situation head first with only a vague plan in mind: get McDougal away from the guy he was killing. I gracefully tackled him to the ground, the officer released from a death grip but his arm a block of ice as the Freezing Alchemist and I stumbled a bit farther away. Truth bless my P.E. coach for forcing me to participate in contact American football.

It was kind of awkward for a second, me practically splaying myself onto of him, for a brief moment groping his belt in search of a weapon. Finding a knife, I slid it out of place and tucked it into my own improvised belt, out of sight. I then scrambled to my feet as quickly as possible because he was kind of hot in real life compared to seeing him through a screen. Damn my female hormones.

Getting to my feet I back away from the man as he got back onto his own. The officer had passed out, either of pain, shock, or fear. This left McDougal and I alone, with Kimblee most likely eavesdropping. I held up my chained hands.

"Not looking for any trouble Isaac, just keeping finding it everywhere I think there's an exit." McDougal was not amused, glaring down at me with piercing black eyes.

"Who are you?" I had been asked this question so much in the last few hours, I decided to be creative as I stalled.

"An cultist looking for a new sacrifice to make to the great Beelzebub. I think I just found him too. A philosopher's stone isn't easy to come by, and the souls would greatly please him," Truth would be disappointed in me. I fingered the knife so that it was resting precariously on my left hip, and it seemed as if McDouchebag was too distracted by my cultist facade to notice. "However, I must get the Lord of Damnation to make sure he approves-"

I was already sprinting down another hallway, the Freezing Alchemist racing after me. I barely rounded a corner when he grabbed my hair, surprising me a little because despite its thick, curly locks, it was in all basicness cropped short and left to grow out. Of course that was more an afterthought as McDougal smashed my head into a wall. It was bad enough I already had a headache from the brightness of everything, was that amount of force really necessary?

"How do you know about the stone?" He asked, his free hand prepared to freeze me should I get violent. I felt tears prick at my eyes, my scalp burning and my vision spinning.

"The ferret at the front desk - Lord Beelzebub's host." The man's eyes narrowed at me. I couldn't believe he thought I was serious to begin with, but I might as well have tried to stay in character.

"What else did this...ferret, tell you?" He slowly released his grip on my head, a relief since I was pretty sure he going to make me more bald than when my trichotilomania was at its worst. I rubbed my sore head for a moment, pondering my next choice of words. I instead choose to slam my right foot as hard as I could against his kneecap, resulting in about equal pain for each party.

"You should ask him yourself," I said, ducking under his arm as he lunged at me again with the intent to kill.

Again, I was running down the hallway at top speed, my breathing heavy and my legs sore. Thank Truth for Coach Lawless, I would have never been able to run this long without his constant nagging. Even with those hours of running back in P.E., I still could never applied for the track team, which was proven to be a bad thing when McDougal pinned me against a wall again, this time clasping his hand around my throat. I could barely breath with asthma combined with the run, now he just had to choke me? It was as if he was trying to prey on my every weaknesses. Well, he was an antagonist after all.

He was about to interrogate me some more, although I don't see how that work as I had been unable speak, you know, without air and all. Then there was the blissful click of two safeties on a pair of guns going off, each cocked and loaded. I couldn't really see who it was, the light in part with the lack of oxygen going to my brain making everything a fuzzy blur of white and blue.

"You're under arrest, McDougal." A firm and familiar voice said. It was kind of weird hearing that voice so serious… McDouchbag's other hand was placed over my face, leaving me in the dark as to the soldier's identities.

"Shoot and the boy dies."

It was really starting to piss me off. Could they not see the bra? The obvious hips? Was the over sized prison uniform that concealing?

There was a sharp intake of breath from the two officers at the other end of the hallway, indicating their hesitance. McDougal's grip around my throat loosened, thinking he had the upper hand in the situation. I felt the knife at my waist start to slip down farther, reminding me of its presence.

I let my cuffed hands go limp, in feigned exhaustion as I pulled the small knife into my hand. It wasn't that small, at least the length of my palm, but that didn't negate the damage it could inflict. The second the freezing alchemist pulled away to make a break for it down the hallway, I stabbed the weapon into his lower abdomen and used my body weight to make sure it caused some hurt.

I also happened to fall to the ground like a stone. The running, choking, and terror of it all overwhelming me as the scent of blood and its warm gushing flow over my fingers brought the dream into a new vividness that I had never experienced before. Gunshots rang out as I hit the floor, sending another body, gushing red with multiple wounds, collapsing not far from my own. I wanted to get sick, and allowed the cold grip of unconsciousness to take over instead

It was only a few minutes that I got to enjoy the blank nothingness of sleep. Or as far as I considered it, sleep inception as I was sleeping within a 'dream'. I woke up to a man kneeling over me, his face etched with concern.

"Sir, are you-"

"Why does everyone think I'm a guy? Are the tiny tits throwing you off? I'm a fucking lady now treat me as such you dipshits!" I yelled at the soldier, immediately more angry with myself for making a scene than with the misunderstanding. I tried my best to calm down by observing the man's face. Well, actually, it was kind of hard not to notice everything about the guy. Even without pink sparkles and the realism of his height and build, Major Armstrong was an imposing guy to have kneeling over you. "S-sorry... "

I was suddenly feeling lightheaded, either from the bright lights that I was just starting to get used to, or the embarrassment that was turning my cheeks red. My feet were ridiculously sore, something probably shifting when I kicked McDougal. The thought of him made me swivel my unfocused vision to see a sheet covering a body, bloodstains marring the once clean white floor. My breath hitched in my throat, an asthma attack seeming inevitable. Could I have killed a living human being? The idea was nauseating. The Major apparently noted my nausea.

"Come with me, you can stay in your cell until the details of your release are worked out." Armstrong got up and motion for me to follow. I did, limping along as I favored my right foot.

I probably messed something up, why were the bones in my feet fused together? Because that's just how it was, believe me, having tarsal coalition in both feet makes life beyond a chair a living hell sometimes. You may be wondering why the sudden lecture on my life, but it was simply to help me ignore the pain and anxiety that seemed to exhaust and excite me.

Aware of my slower pace, Armstrong picked me up with one arm and carried me the rest of my way to my cell. It was nice of him, but it was awkward being carried like a little kid. He came to my cell and flung the door open with a gentle push and set me on my bed.

"Do you want me to get a medic to look at your ankle?" It was a little swollen but I would probably be fine.

"N-no." I choked out staring blankly at the grey wall. "Um, sir?" Armstrong looked at me, his features stoic. "Did I kill him?" The tense silence was going to kill me for the milisecond it lasted.

"No, but you gave Lieutenant Colonel Hughes the opening to...neutralize the threat." I looked down at my hands, the dried blood still on them. Walking up to the small sink in the cell, I washed them until the pale skin seemed as white as the walls outside of the cell. Relieved that I wasn't the one who delivered the final blow, I stared in the mirror for a few moments.

A violet bruise around my neck had formed, starkly contrasting with my now white skin. I almost looked unhealthily pale, which was saying something considering how prominent my Irish blood was in the real - my world. Even if this was a dream, the threats were real and I could be hurt.

"What is your name ma'am?" The Major's deep voice startled me from my inspection of my now pink hued eyes and white hair. I had signed the paperwork earlier, but it wasn't surprising they couldn't read my cursive handwriting.

"My...superiors call me Irish. They don't use my first name all that much." In all honestly, only Coach Lawless called me that. I really hated my first name, and my last name was practically unpronounceable unless the person I was speaking to was fluent in Irish Gaelic.

"We need your legal name for your Honorary Citizenship paperwork." Honorary Citizenship? What the hell did I get myself into?

"Huh?" Was my only intelligent response.

"You assisted in the neutralization of an enemy of the State, a man convicted of treason. You are awarded with citizenship for your duty to the country." Okay. Weird, but okay. It made sense, sort of.

"Um, okay. But I can't tell you my name, it's against my religion. I could write it down if that'd be okay." The dark of the cell was so calming compared to the brightly lit hallways. Footsteps of another soldier approached, interrupting Armstrong's response.

"Major Armstrong, sir!" Sagent Brosh and 2nd Lieutenant Maria Ross said simultaneously. Maria was holding some clothes, while Denny was in possession of some keys.

"Fuhrer King Bradley has requested a meeting with this girl." Brosh said, unlocking my cuffs and removing the chain from my wrist. Rubbing the sore skin, I accepted the clothes Ross handed me.

"He wants to meet with her as soon as possible, sir." She said, ushering me down a hallway back to the changing stalls I had used earlier. Armstrong and Brosh walked behind me as I nervously limped faster to keep pace with Maria. "You should be honored, ma'am. Or terrified…" She added the last part under her breath, my own breathing quickened with nervous energy. Bradley - the incarnation of Wrath wanted to meet me. How wonderful, all I had to do is make sure he didn't know I knew about literally everything.

The Armstrong Squad forced me into a stall and anxiously asked me to hurry. Apparently, from what they were talking about. Bradley had come here to meet me in person. Not exactly the best place for the ruler of an empire to meet a prisoner/maybe citizen. At least the clothes Brosh and Ross brought me fit. It was just a black turtleneck sweater and a pair of slacks, but at least the shoes were a little more than flats.

I probably should have asked for my slippers back, or at least my inserts. My right foot was already starting to roll to its side and the heel was turning in again after all that running. I felt like crap, probably looked like it too, but at least my clothes looked nice.

I was led to the front desk of the prison office, where Lucha was angrily gnawing at the bars of his cage. He was hungry. I started to wander in his direction, but Armstrong led me by the shoulder through a crowd of soldiers. For a moment I caught a glimpse of Hughes, his glasses, hair, and scruffy beard disappearing as I was confronted by Bradley himself.

Now I knew how Louie Zamperini felt when he shook hands with Hitler. Or at least I presume this was what it felt like. He was wearing his uniform, decorated with awards and medals, his eye patch covering his Ouroboros tattoo. His mustache was kind of Italian looking, like something my godfather would wear. All in all, more intimidating than Truth but less terrifying than the Gate.

"Oh, so here's the lady of the hour. I have to thank you for what you did personally, it was quite a brave thing you did little missy." He sounded so benevolent. Creepy coming from Wrath. I looked down at my feet, flustered. How do you accept a thank you from an authority figure/bad guy/guy who vaguely reminds you of your godfather?

"I-it wasn't all that brave, m-mostly stupid impulsive decisions…" I was so freaking nervous around this guy. Rightfully so I guess.

"Your so called 'stupid' impulsiveness really saved the day!" Maes Hughes himself interjected. I really shouldn't have been surprised by his outspokenness around his superior, but still, some part of me was screaming at him to just go away and let me die a painful embarrassing death alone.

"That it did Lieutenant Colonel. Would you mind taking Miss…?" He wanted my last name. Shit.

"MacDuibhshíth." I noted his moment of struggling in trying to understand how my mouth made that horrendously foreign word. "But please, call me Irish."

"Very well then, Lieutenant Colonel, would you mind taking Miss. Irish back to my office? We need to have a word in private on her current situation." Whether he was speaking of my 'Honorary Citizenship' or was hoping to silence me if he thought I knew more than I should have about McDougal's antics, I knew not. But holy freaking butternut biscuits Maes Hughes was standing right in front of me!

As Bradley left me in the Lieutenant Colonel's supervision and saluted to the soldiers, I could only gravitate slowly around the back of the desk to let Lucha out of his cage. The hungry ferret nibbled on my fingers, squirming in my arms expecting something to eat. He seemed fine, which was a relief considering the cage clearly was made for actual mice, not ferrets named after mice. However wiggly he was, it was good to see a familiar creature.

If this was real, I sure as hell had my work cut out for me.

I eventually ended up in a car with the Armstrong Squad somehow jammed in the vehicle with Hughes driving. They had collected my things in a small bin they used in the lost and found, and Lucha had found an ancient cookie on the car's floor to munch on until he got hungry again. Armstrong sat next to me, and Ross and Brosh sat parallel. Armstrong wasn't even watching me, seemingly entranced by Lucha as the living slinky scurried around the floor in circles with its prized cookie. The ride was mostly silent, the roar of the car's engine drowning out most attempts of conversation leaving me with my thoughts.

Sure, being here could be fun, but it could also get me killed, so I had to be careful. If I changed anything, I had to make sure it kept as true to the original storyline as possible so I wasn't blindsided by some time warping butterfly effect. Everything seemed pretty cohesive so far, McDougal was dead, and I so far wasn't in immediate danger, or at least as long as I was in the car I wasn't.

When the car came to a stop, Hughes told me to leave my things in the car and Lucha with Armstrong. Handing the ferret to the large man, I did my best to assure any of his worries.

"Give him food and he will love you, and don't worry too much about hurting him, there's not much you can do to hurt a ferret. And if he gives you a hard time just hold him like this until he falls asleep." I picked up the furry white slinky by the nape of its neck to show the trio left in charge of my stuff how to subdue the mellow animal.

"Come on Mac, he'll be waiting." Hughes called to me as he ascended the staircase of the building with ease. Mac? I guessed it was better than my real name.

I followed, wishing I had asked for a medic to see my foot, but was greatly aided by my slippers which I had happily obtained from the bin of my things. The inside of the building seemed a lot like I would imagine the White House to be like. People rushing here and there, an open room you entered that diverged into a million hallways. Busy and crowded, just as I hated it.

Keeping up with Hughes in the masses was difficult until we turned down a narrow hallway that opened up into a larger one. At the end of the hallway was a pair of heavy doors, guarded on either side. King Bradley's office. I wished Lucha was there, just having him around was a comforting sense of home. Hughes had to practically drag me to the doors I was so paralyzed with fear and anxiety. The doors swung open to reveal the Fuhrer, sitting at his desk doing some paperwork.

"Ah, good to see you Miss. Irish. Please, take a seat." What started off as an amicable tone turned into a nightmare at the end of the sentence. I gulped and shakily slumped into one of the chairs in front of the desk. "Lieutenant Colonel, would you step outside for a moment?" He wanted a private word with me. Alone. In a room. With Wrath. I just couldn't see how this could possibly end in my 'accidental' death in say, a phone booth. Fantastic.

When the doors came to a quiet thumping close, Bradley poured himself some tea from the cart beside his desk.

"Would you like some?" I shook my head. I didn't actually like tea, and drinking tea Wrath poured is out of the question. "No need to be so formal Irish, I just want to ask you some questions." He said with a chuckle, sipping his tea. It kind of made me sad to think he would end up on the opposite team when the Promised Day came.

"What kind of questions?" I asked, my voice shaking. I had finally gotten a chance to take my retainer out at the prison, something I was grateful wasn't creating a speech impediment here.

"Isaac McDougal was a member of the military with access to sensitive information before he defected. I just need to make sure he didn't share anything classified with you." Okay, now this all made a little more sense. But I still wasn't drink any of that tea. "So, please explain how a prisoner such as yourself escaped her cell, confronted and survived a serial killer, and assisted in his eventual demise." Well, I could just copy and paste the story a few pages up, but what fun would that be for me?

"Well, I never actually got into my cell. You see the guy who was taking me, I never got his name, he was kind of nervous after all the older staff were put high alert and the door was stuck shut - hey, speaking of that dude is he going to be okay? The one with the frozen arm?" Bradley looked at me for a moment.

"Mr. Azir? Yes, he'll be fine. Though I can make no promises about his career as a prison guard." I nodded. I needed that confirmation. Good thing Bradley seemed to know about the fate of an irrelevant prison guard. Pride probably told him or something.

"Oh, okay. Anyway, we heard McDouche - McDougal kill one of the guards down the hall so he just sort of told me to stay put when he went to investigate." Bradley was pouring himself another cup of tea. Damn, he downed that stuff like he hadn't had a sip in decades. "So, I initially headed for the front office to get my stuff and get out of there, but I was really curious and kind of worried about the poor guy so I went back to see Isaac beating the crap out of him and starting to freeze his arm.

"I just sort of tackled him and managed to get one of his knives. He then was all mad and I pretty sure what's-his-name passed out around this time and McDougal asked who I was. I kind of said I was some sort of cultist - which I am not - who was worshiping my demon possessed ferret and was going to sacrifice McDougal to him because was all powerful and scary looking." Bradley looked at me as if I was on drugs, that kind of 'sure that happened kiddo, keep thinking that while I call the asylum sweetheart' look.

"I was just making the whole thing up to get him away from whoever was in that big fortified cell. McDougal said his name, Kimee or something like that. I didn't really care so I kind of offered to go get my ferret - his real name's Lucha and he wouldn't hurt a fly - but McDouchbag - McDougal was kind of pissed that I was running away so he went after me. He caught me once but I got away from him only to get caught again. Your soldiers arrived just in time. You can ask them about what happened next, I don't really remember it." Okay so lying to the Fuhrer wasn't the best course of action but it was mostly true! And the only guy they could ask was dead, so there wasn't a big chance of me getting caught in a plot hole. I mean, I guess Kimblee could tell him but who really trusted that guy anyway?

"Thank you, are you sure that is all?" He asked, pouring a third cup of tea. The sun's light peeked through the windows, the early morning brightness making me flinch and squint to see his face. Bradley took a moment to close the curtains as I responded.

"He said something about a rock." I said, knowing that if I played my cards right I would be in the middle of the whole mess but not the focus of it. The rings of the curtains clicked as Bradley closed them slowly, only replying with an interested,

"Oh?"

"Yeah, a Phili-something stone. Philadelphia maybe? I was kind of being choked at that point so I'm not sure what he said. Not enough oxygen going to my brain." Bradley nodded, apparently satisfied with my answer.

"Well, enough of this morbid talk. You five can come in now." Five? To my shock (and glee to a lesser extent) Hughes reentered the room with a blonde boy who wore a red jacket and black pants, a suit of familiar armor, a soldier with spiky black hair, and a woman with her long blonde locks pinned up. I felt a smile immediately come to my face, unable to hide my excitement. Who cared if this was a dream or a terrifying new reality? The Elrics, Roy, and Riza were here with the best dad ever!

"Fuhrer Bradley, sir! Where's the Drachman guy who took down…" Edward's golden gaze fell on me. "...McDougal…"

"Yo." I said, mimicking Hughes' usual greeting. The Elrics looked from me to Riza and Roy then back to me.

"This pipsqueak took down McDougal?" Ed asked Hughes, pointing to me. I felt my cheeks crimson as I abruptly stood.

"Who are you calling pipsqueak you micro shrimp? I'm taller than you!" I knew it would make him fume, but I was only an inch and a half below the average height for girls my age. I was not a 'pipsqueak'.

"Stand down Mac," Roy said calmly, though I saw him smirk at my insult of Ed's height. I looked to Hughes who looked to Bradley. I relaxed a little, recalling I was literally in the presence of Wrath. I was a little irked Mustang was calling me by that nickname. It felt as if Hughes had betrayed me and told it to someone without my permission, but it was far better than my real name. Bradley cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention.

"Fullmetal, whatever you need it can be dealt with later. I have some paperwork to sort out with this young lady." Hughes set the piece of paper on the desk, facing me. It was very formal looking with a fancy border and all. It was a Certificate of Honorary Citizenship I presumed, as I picked up a pen from the pen holder on the Fuhrer's desk. "You do need to put down your real name, ma'am." I glanced up at Bradley, feeling the pressure of having everyone watch me.

"I will write it, but if any of you read it, never say it aloud. It is an offence to my beliefs." I decided to go with the whole religious thing. It worked for Scar in the story, but then again I wasn't an Ishvalan serial killer out for the blood of state alchemists. After getting an unsure nod of affirmation from the people present, I printed my full name on the first line and scribbled its cursive counterpart below. Bradley took the paper and signed his own name, his single eye scanning over my name and a look of interest passed his rather stoic features.

"I see why they just call you Irish, but why Irish?" He asked, preparing a wax seal. I shrugged.

"It's what people are called in the area of Drachma I'm from. When my family moved to the far west everyone just called us that, since we were….different than the western Drachmans." This probably would make zero sense to anyone who was actually from Drachma. Hopefully none of the people in the room had spent an extensive amount of their time there, but with a mountain dividing the two countries, the likelihood of that was pretty low by my calculations. No one batted an eye, confirming that speculation as Bradley stamped the seal of the State onto the paper.

"This is your certification as an Honorary Citizen of Amestris, Miss. Irish. Do not misplace it." He said, his voice grim and congratulatory at the same time. Freaky. I nodded nervously taking the paper with shaking hands. "Mustang, see that she has somewhere to stay. She is now under your jurisdiction. Fullmetal," Fuhrer Bradley turned to the short boy, "Did you need something?" Ed stuttered out a negative response and shuffled out the door as Hughes dragged the two brothers out of the room. Roy placed a hand on my shoulder to lead me out of the room.

"Oh, thank you Mr. Fuhrer Bradley sir!" I called out before the doors closed quietly. Roy and Riza walked in front of me as we presumably headed for his office. "So… who are you people?" I asked. Though I knew the answer, seeming stalkerish isn't the best way to make allies in a world of personified sins.

"I am Colonel Roy Mustang, this is my assistant, 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye." I nodded, even though I knew they couldn't see me. "And if you don't mind me asking," I rolled up the paper, keeping the side with the seal and writing on the inside. "Why did Hughes call you Mac?" I looked up at him.

"Huh?"

"He referred to you as Irish Mac." Mustang explained opening the door to his office and walking inside. Ed was splayed out on a couch, Al sitting beside him and Hughes across from the two.

"Hughes." I said, looking at the grown man with most serious and stern face I could muster. "Never, call me Mac." He smiles and waved.

"Sure thing, Mac." I grumbled angrily as I distracted myself with Ed and Al. In real life Ed was oddly attractive, though considering I found Envy to be appealing when I originally saw the anime, it wasn't surprising the difference flesh and automail could make.

"Sorry about calling you a micro shrimp earlier, couldn't help myself. So, you're the Fullmetal Alchemist everyone seems to know?" I said, sitting on the couch next to Hughes. I was really tired, not having gotten a wink of sleep in exception of the time I blacked out. I almost fell asleep as soon as I felt the cushioned back of the seat.

"Yes, that's me," Edward said, seeming to take momentary pride in the recognition. "I'm Edward Elric, and this is my little brother, Alphonse."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Irish." Al said, his childish voice echoing inside the suit. It was creepy. How could people not realize the armor was empty?

"Nice to meet you to, Al. But, I am a girl, you know." Ed's eyes widened and he looked me up and down.

"I always thought women from Drachma were supposed to be more…" I guessed Drachma was this world's equivalent to Russia, at least from what I was collecting.

"Sexy? Nah, the ladies here are way more attractive from what I've seen." Ed kind of just nodded, Hughes raising an eyebrow at the comment.

"Um, anyways, how'd you do it?" I looked to Ed in confusion. "How'd you take down McDougal?" I sighed, looking at the ceiling in exasperation.

"Why does everyone think I killed him? I just happened to get him vulnerable enough for the other soldiers to take down." I subconsciously rubbed my thumb into the palm of my hand. A habit from school whenever I got nervous or embarrassed in front of peers. "It really wasn't that impressive…" Hughes clapped me over the head.

"You just saved the day is all, nothing to be proud of Mac."

"Don't call me that." I growled. I looked at his face, hoping to memorize it for my friend, Maria, to draw. She loved making realistic versions of animated characters, and Hughes would be a perfect candidate for one of her paintings. Sharp features, distinct and neatly groomed, he would look better on her canvas than in any photograph. I felt a pang of sadness, knowing how his life would end. As if noticing my suddenly solemn thoughts, Hughes elbowed me.

"So, I hear you three don't have a place to stay, so you're all coming to my house!" I blinked in concern a few times.

"I could-" Mustang was interrupted by a photograph of Elicia Hughes thrust in his face.

"My darling girl would just be so excited to meet Mac! Besides, your apartment is too small for more than one person, that is unless you plan on sharing beds-"

"Fine, Irish can stay with you. But she needs to get a job and a home of her own. Just because she's an Honorary Citizen doesn't mean she can't mooch off the military forever." Mustang finally agreed.

"Are you sure I'm not imposing? Will there really be room for the Elrics and me?" I asked in genuine curiosity.

"Sure there is! And Gracia just love the company, and you can borrow some of her clothes until we can buy you some of your own -"

"You act like she's your kid and you've barely met her." Ed interjected, only to be met with Hughes' enthusiastic showing of his favorite pictures of Elicia. I laughed looking on. This was either going to be really great, or really bad.

"So, what's your plan Fullmetal?" Roy asked, peering over some paperwork. "Did you get those tickets you wanted?" Ed sighed and looked up.

"Yeah, the train for Liore leaves tomorrow. It'll be a while before we're back in Central." I grimaced.

"Liore?" I said, wrinkling my nose. "Watch your back. I liked the people there before Letoism became a thing."

"You've been there?" Alphonse asked, surprise evident in his voice. I nodded,my shoulders falling with my lack of planning.

"Yeah, I've been all around Amestris. But Liore is basically a cult system with the new religion. I hitched a train up here because of all the pressure to convert."

"You haven't happened to see any of the, 'miracles' they say their Father can produce." I looked at Ed, my eyes swimming with my thoughts. I hope this doesn't screw shit up.

"Yes, but even though I am a believer in such things, I do not think the miracles are real. The power they give Father Cornello over the people is very real however, so just be careful."

Masterlist

[takamoris]

I was tagged by @noro-noro-noro which honestly comes as a surprise! We don’t interact much, but you’re real cool! Hope you’re doing well. 1. How tall are you? 
5′11" bois. Kind of mad that I can't say I'm six feet tall, but. I'm close. 2. What color and style is your hair? 
Dark Brown with blonde highlights and tips from a time I tried to cosplay as He-Man and failed miserably. I have no idea how to properly dye my hair. My hair is a few inches longer than shoulder-length, and super wavy. 3. What color are your eyes? That weird Bluish Brown color. Whatever you call it. 4. Do you wear glasses? Surprisingly, no. My eyesight is naturally pretty good. 5. Do you have braces? 
Nope. Never did. 6. What is your fashion sense? 
Hit me up with some polos, henleys, or pretty much any shirt that has buttons at the top. I love that stuff. Put that on top of some jeans, and boom. Not really fashion, but I mean. It works. 7. Do you have any siblings? 
I've got one brother. He's three years older than me, and we usually get along. Usually. 8. What kind of student are you? 
Oh. I used to be a "Gifted" Honors Student. I miss those days. In highschool I devolved into the kind of student who just draws throughout the entire class but still passes somehow. Now, at university, I'm the kind of student who doesn't even show up to his classes and just suffers because he knows he's ruining his own life. 9. What are your favourite subjects? Contrary to popular belief, as an art enthusiast, I absolutely fucking loathe art classes. I do like general history classes and math classes though. The absolute best kind of class is the IT classes though. Especially the ones where the teacher lets you just screw around online after you've finished your project. 10. What are your favorite TV shows? 
Gilmore Girls. Hands down, my favorite TV show of all time. I'm also a big fan of Monk. I don't really watch anything that's currently airing though, sadly. Honorable mentions: Seinfeld, Friends, and Dawson's Creek 11. Favorite books? 
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Anything written by Rick Riordan makes my top 10 list. The best one would probably be The Lost Hero though. That's when his writing started to get really good, imo, 12. Favorite pastimes? 
In my golden days, I would've said drawing and hanging out with my friends, but now that I've moved into my dark ages, I don't really have any favorite pastimes. I guess the closest would be using tumblr and playing video games, but that just makes me sound even more sad than I really am. 13. Any regrets? 
Tons. Specifically involving old friends that I've lost touch with. I regret letting my old buddy Cory walk out of my life, slamming the door on his way out. I feel like I should've tried harder to keep him around. But. That's all past now. 14. What is your dream job? 
My ultimate goal used to be the writer/artist for a comic book series of my own design, but since I know nothing about publishing and I'm not nearly skilled enough, that's unrealistic. My current goal is just something that I can support myself and my mother on while we just live life. (She's old, man. ;-;) 15. Do you want to get married? 
I'd love to, but that'd require finding someone willing to be in a relationship with me first. Considering I'm 19 and I've never had a real relationship, hoo boy. 16. Do you want to have kids and how many? 
I would love to be a parent, honestly. Two kids is ideal. Don't know why, but I mean. It just feels like the right amount. 17. How many countries have you visited? 
The United States. That's it. I'd love to travel internationally, but I most certainly don't have the money for that.