#like dude i don’t care that it’s fiction or how many other authors in other genres have used that in their writing

[transformhim]

fuck it fine I’ll call em on it. @viceversa-666.

Yet Again.

I am seeing more children as protagonists in erotica. Still being reblogged. Still being liked. The same guy having done this time and time again. It’s not preference. It’s p*dophil*a. I’m fucking sick of it. Why are we continuing to allow this? How many writers have to come out and say something, come out against this before something is done?

We will end up losing our entire community thanks to these people, as they’ll associate the queer tf erotica community with se*ualization of children. What are we supposed to do? When they shut us all down do you really think saying “we tried to say something” will be sufficient to stop them from doing another purge? What are WE doing?

[musicalmoritz]

Can we get a list of all the tbhk ships you can think of ranked in order of how much you like them? I'm just curious! Leave out anything you flat-out don't like of course!

Ooooh, this will be a challenge! I’ve done the teirmaker list thing twice for TBHK ships but my opinion on them keeps changing (there are some I used to not care abt that are now some of my favorites). I think I’m gonna try to break this up into sections to make it easier

The Holy Trinity

Aoinene- Obviously my all time fave. I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting it but this one has shot into my top favorites of all time, which is a very sacred list🙏🏻 I wasn’t expecting to love them so much because I really like the canon pairings but Beecalm’s fan fictions (and many others) altered my brain chemistry. Once I started to focus on them more I couldn’t stop and now I over analyze everything they do. And ofc writing my own fics made me like them more. I really like the potential of both of them keeping secrets from each other and Nene sort of knowing there’s something up with Aoi but being totally unaware of the extent of it (yk like if they were written by an author who gaf abt them they could be so cool). Also the “best friend becomes the villain” trope is simply superior

Mitsukou- This one recently swapped with Terukane. I expected it to be my favorite bcuz canon gays usually are but Aoinene surpassed them. I still love them tho, I like how fucked up they can be with all the cannibalism and bullying as a love language. They’re all cute and angsty but they also have some serious problems, like dudes please get therapy. Mitsuba wanting someone to depend on and Kou wanting Mitsuba to only depend on him. It’s like a train wreck I can’t look away from. But also like I want them to be happy and hold hands. Maybe they can get couples counseling

Terukane- Don’t be fooled by it dropping one level, I still love them a lot!! I like the fanon concept of them helping each other heal, especially when fics have Akane taking care of Teru. Really, this is my “I just want Teru to be happy” ship lol. The shippers are so funny and good at analyses, and I like how they both thrive off of their rivalry. They have such a comedic duo thing going on too, the final exam chapter was so funny. Their relationship is built on trust, or something like that

Absolutely Fucking Love

AoiAoi- This one may come as I surprise considering Aoinene and Terukane are so high but I’m obviously a huge multishipper. The thing with their names is so funny to me, it’s the first thing I tell my friends abt TBHK every time I introduce them to it. I love how complicated they are while at the end of the day still being very dedicated to each other. They’re both so down bad, it’s cute. Despite their initial toxicity, I strongly believe this is the healthiest canon ship but I’ll hold my tongue

Terukaneaoi- I am strongly hesitating to put this one so high since it used to be more of an after thought but I simply cannot separate AoiAoi and Terukane from this ship so it feels fitting. Even if I’m shipping two of them without the other I still imagine them being very important to each other. My enjoyment of the manga increased tenfold when I started interpreting their love triangle as “Aoi and her two boyfriends.” Lowkey believe AidaIro ship them too. This is what I mean when I say we need more poly ships

Hananene- Also struggling to put this one so high but they’re the main couple, I feel like they deserve this spot. Every now and then I start to think I don’t care abt them that much but then I remember the ending of the Picture Perfect arc and I’m like oh right. They’re soulmates. Their relationship is one of the highlights of the manga for me. I mainly prefer this ship with Amane’s personality over Hanako’s but they are the same person so it’s cute either way

Sakuhiko- This was very briefly my favorite. I headcanon them as sapphics which gives them extra points lol. I love how Natsuhiko seems to know Sakura so well, and how dedicated he is to them. I like the idea of them having a less conventional relationship, they aren’t “together” but they’re still together. Very romantic and typical TBHK fucky messed up stuff. Villain couples are elite

Aoimei- This one could’ve been higher than HanaNene and Sakuhiko but I’m a coward lol. I’m happy that AidaIro gave us sapphic breadcrumbs, even if it was only in an au. To me these two just make sense, they would be perfect for each other. Mei is absolutely a lesbian in my eyes and Aoi has gotta be some type of sapphic. I like that they stayed together even after the love potion, and how Aoi was more comfortable with the idea of Mei falling in love with her than any of the guys. I am absolutely in love with this ship

Adore

Aoimei 2.0- This is the version with No.4 Mei. I am not the first to come up with it but I do believe I’ve made the most fan content for them lol. I sometimes like this more than OG Aoimei but they’ve sadly never interacted in canon so it gets docked a section. It’s such an interesting concept, the way both of them exist as a culmination of the rumors made about them. They would have such an interesting dynamic, in my mind they are enemies to lovers lol

Terukaneaoinene- This one is soooooo underrated. Terukaneaoi is great enough on its own, add Nene and you have all the best ships mixed together. You have to be deep into multishipper hell to like this one bcuz p much every combination of ships here are enemies with each other. Best solution? They all date

Akaneneaoi- Okay I’m just gonna go through every poly variation within Terukaneaoinene here, they’re all pretty interchangeable with each other. This one is great because it’s Aoi and her two favorite people

Teruaoinene- Supremely underrated!! Teru is great, he deserves two girlfriends. And instead of Aoi and Nene being pitted against each other bcuz Nene likes Teru and Teru likes Aoi, they both get to date him AND each other. So fun

Teruakanene- Their little date was so cute (technically they’ve gone on two now). Idc if it was meant to be a Terunene date, Akane was included in my heart. Not crazy abt the lack of Aoi here but this is still an elite ship (one of my mutual named them Pineapple Pals)

TeruAoi- This one is deeply controversial. Tbh it could be above the poly ones I just listed but I like them more in the context of Terukaneaoi or Terukaneaoinene. Teru’s potential crush on her in canon is very cute to me, and I like how she seems to warm up to him throughout the series. I will never understand how people headcanon that they hate each other lol, either they’re dating or they’re best friends

Meinene 2.0- No.4 Mei version ofc. This one is a bit interchangeable with OG Meinene but I like this one a teensy bit better bcuz of the hand-holding scene. Every time I listen to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles I think of them. This is truly my “I just want Mei to be happy” ship. I like the idea of Nene helping her work on her mental health/self-image issues

Meinene- OG Mei version. Their pancake date lives in my head rent free. Might like it a bit better than the other Meinene but idk they swap a lot. Recently this Meinene has been consuming all my thoughts. It feels so canon, AidaIro clearly wanted Mei to have a girlfriend

Sakunene- This ship should be so much more popular than it is. Like every ship listed below Aoimei 2.0 in this section, it could be swapped with any of the others depending on my mood. This is PEAK enemies to lovers hero/villain character foil vibes. They are everything to me. Nene having a crush on Sakura is lowkey canon so I wish more people recognized their potential

Terunene- So overhated because people have no imagination smh. If Nene came to understand who Teru really is (I think she’s learning but shhh) I think they could be absolute couples goals. Unlike most fans I don’t rly want Teru to have a crush on Nene in canon, I think most people who suggest that only say it bcuz they don’t want to try to understand TeruAoi. But I digress. Super cute ship

Akanene- Another divisive one!! They seem to have this weird animosity towards each other in canon (likely due to Aoi) but whenever they team up…oh man, I love seeing these two work together. They’re both hopeless romantics so they’d be able to match each other’s energy

Aoimeinene- A fairly recent one but I’ve become obsessed. I tend to think of each of the ships separately tho so I need to figure out how the dynamic would work with all three of them. I hope to someday write a fic for them and make this ship more popular (tho I think I’m already on my way to doing that with this blog lol). There are not nearly enough femslash sapphic ships in this fandom, I need more

HakuSumi- Not really sure how to rank this one, I love love love their relationship but I’m not heavily invested in it…still, I don’t want to put it too low. My favorite husband and wife, they deserved better :( I’m glad the fandom is starting to warm up to this one, maybe they’ll have a renaissance like AoiAoi

Super Cute!

SakuMei- No.4 Mei version. We briefly saw them together in ASHK so I think AidaIro know they would be good friends. Their personalities match each other very well and the fanfics are amazing (seriously pls read SakuMei fanfics they’re so good). I lightly associate Mei with the Broadcasting Crew so I like to think she and Sakura would hang out a lot. I headcanon them as exes lmao

Natsuteru- Almost forgot about this one…I have mutuals that would sue me over that. So we all know that Natsuhiko and Teru are exes but consider them as transfem butch lesbian exes. Yes I’m right I’m so correct. I will also accept butchfemme Natsuteru

Kounene- Okay so like…I don’t really multiship a lot with Mitsukou *the crowd boos me* I know, I know. I think this ship is insanely cute as a concept but SOME of the fans are weird abt Mitsukou and HanaNene. It throws me off a bit but I have full love for the ship itself, only when it’s requited on Nene’s side tho. I’m not crazy abt one-sided pairings

HanaKou- Again with the mtsk thing…but let’s be real this ship is art. They could do Romeo and Juliet but Romeo and Juliet could not do HanaKou. I prefer them as best friends but I totally get why so many people like them romantically. They have a funny dynamic. I have a request for them so be on the lookout for that

MitsuHana- Hear me out hear me out, this one is so funny to me. Specifically the concept of Hanako having a crush on Mitsuba. I like to think they’d have the same dynamic as Richie and Eddie from It if you catch my vibe (Hanako is Richie and Mitsuba is Eddie). It pairs well with Kounene too

HanaNeneMitsuKou- Only if Mitsuba and Nene aren’t dating, I don’t fw Mits*nene. Specifically I like this ship when things center around Kou, he’s super nice and protective of everyone so all his friends crushing on him feels so realistic lmao. The four of them would bully each other so hard too, I like to picture them acting similar to the main four from South Park. Please see the vision

SakuAoi- Rumor Girlfriends!!! I love the concept of this ship and they have been shown together a lot in official art. Tbh this one could be higher, but I need a bit more for it yk?? I totally get the concept but it hasn’t completely clicked for me yet. This one may level up in the future tho, as I said the concept is very interesting. I would love to see it in an au where Aoi is with the Broadcasting Crew.

MinaMari- We know little to nothing about their characters but the concept is so cute to me. They’d probably be higher if they had more focus in the manga but alas, they are extremely minor characters😔 They give me major Chappell Roan vibes tho

Sakoo- I’m not overly invested in them but this ship is a staple so they get this category. They’re a cute background ship to Mitsukou. I could see them having some type of crazy slowburn and getting together in their 30s

LemonFuji- A ship I came up with, they are so silly to me. I was gonna put this way lower but then I remembered it’s my favorite Lemon ship. Kinda forgot abt them tho so they could technically be moved a tier down…but no, as the captain of this ship I must go down with it. LemonFuji World Domination

Lemonkane- Not really sure where to put this one in relation to the others but I like them. The fact that they dated in canon always baffles me, I love whenever AidaIro say gay rights. It’s a little funny to me that this isn’t Akane’s main mlm ship, it’s like Lemon got demoted

NagiTsuchi- Say it with me…Old Man Yaoi. Another one I’m not majorly invested in but this is my designated ship for both characters. Workplace romance is one of my favorite tropes, especially with teachers. The Yugi Twins’ dads, trust

Like

Sakuaoinene- So I guess this tier is an “I see the vision/I could get into it” category. I’ve always been aware of this poly ship but for some reason I’ve never looked too deeply into it!! I did make headcanons for them once but beyond that I just don’t think of them often enough. I’ll have to think about it more, the concept is god tier. I like all ships between them so this could be like supreme toxic yuri or smth

Natsunene- Their little door date was so silly and no one talks abt it. I feel like I’m the only person who ships this. Please let them be girlfriends

KouAoi- One of the best rarepairs fr fr but there’s so little content so them. I have a fic idea for them but I haven’t had time to write it yet. To me this is a ���crush on your older brother’s best friend” ship lolol. I think it would be more of a celebrity crush on Kou’s part but it’s still adorable

Sakuaoimei- No.4 Mei version. I have a fic request for them that I swear I’ll get around to at some point (I’m trying to stick to a schedule but school has kept me busy this week). I’ll have to brainstorm more of a dynamic for them, I feel like they’d all fit really well together. Sakura and Aoi would nerd out together about horror stories while Mei watches them fondly. Aoi deserves two ghost girlfriends

YoMitsu- I like this one as an unrequited thing, like Yokoo being the typical protagonist of a teen movie and Mitsuba being the unattainable crush. And drama! His crush is dating his best friend. Very much Jesse’s Girl vibes. I made headcanons abt this on TikTok and got ppl all invested in the lore

SatoMitsu- Don’t know much about this one but it seems sweet, he protects him from Kou’s bullying

YoKou- This one is weirdly popular for a rarepair, I feel like I see it all the time. They seem cute enough

SaKou- Satou 100% had a crush on Kou at some point. So did Yokoo but we already covered him. In like 10 years he’s gonna be going about his day and randomly be like “ohhhhh so that’s what those feelings meant”

SaKooMitsuKou- Cute poly ship! Satou and Yokoo help Mitsuba and Kou keep their violence to a minimum. Actually maybe we shouldn’t drag them in to all their drama. Nvm let them be silly boyfriends

SakuMeiAoiNene- Works with either Mei tbh (I’m too tired now to rank them separately I’ve been working on this all throughout the day). Any ship between these characters is elite, I fully support it and would read a fic abt them (or write one)

Koukane- See this one has potential but in my mind they are brother-in-laws so I’m still trying to sell myself on it. I like it tho!

SumiYako- I can’t rly see Sumire with anyone but Hakubo lol but it’s femslash so ofc I like it. I need fics and edits for them, I feel like this one could really grow on me. I want to marry both of them fr fr

TsuchiYako- At first I loved it, then I hated it, now I’m warming back up to it. I could see them having a thing without ever having to discuss it yk?? Like they’re together in some sense and they both know it without having to make a big deal out of it

MitsuKane- One of my moots said they would smoke weed together and I have loved the concept ever since. Another ship I feel like I could get into

SakuTeru- Ignore the ranking for this last category btw I have lost the plot. I cannot see Sakura with a man but if it’s nb or transfem Teru then yes. Very interesting concept

SakuNatsuTeru- This ship is so funny I need to look more into it. They all give me major poly vibes so seeing them together feels biblically accurate

SakuMei 2.0- Original Mei version. I’ve not rly looked into it but I could see myself liking this one. They give me opposites attract vibes

NatsuAoi- A rarepair that only I ship (I think). It’s super chaotic to me

LemonAoi- Aesthetically pleasing, I saw an edit for them once and it was life changing. Really I love any Aoi ships, her complex character makes for very interesting dynamics (even tho she only rly cares abt 2 ppl)

Mama Yashiro x MitsuMom- People pair them together a lot so that Mitsuba and Nene can be siblings and I’m totally here for it. Another one I’ve been meaning to write a fic for bcuz there’s not a lot focused solely on them (for obvious reasons). Let the milfs kiss

MitsuLemon- Another rarepair my moots introduced me to. I’ll have to look more into it but yayyyy their colors go together

Lemonkaneaoi- The original concept for TBHK is so fascinating to me. We could’ve had it all

TeruLemon- Fun rarepair, love the overload of blonds here

TsuchiHaku- I saw fan art of them once and I have not stopped thinking abt it

KataSumiHaku- I was recently introduced to this one and I love it, I’m obsessed

Okay there are probably more I could think of but those are ones I don’t care enough about to list. If I get invested in any new rarepairs you will probably catch me yapping abt them on here. Just assume Mitsukou and SouKou are equal btw I did NOT wanna bother with listing them separately. Again, my rankings change a lot but this is probably the most accurate one I’ve done in terms of categorization. Thank you for this ask, I really enjoyed making this!!

[shinahbee]

Unpopular opinions on characters

Hello,

so I came across this on someone's twitter thread and I thought I would write a post on the " unpopular opinions of these characters" of some of the characters in BL webtoons based on what they have listed. If you have read some of these you may have some opinions of your own, but if you haven’t read any this is just my personal opinion on them as characters, and what other people say about them are vastly different from how I personally feel about them.

you may not get it if you don't read these webtoons but it's fun entertainment if you just want to read about me complaining about some of the things people say..lol. I have a lot to say and a tweet would not be able to hold all of these thoughts so i brought it all here instead.

this is all in good fun, if you are one of those people who hate hearing about how much your favorite character sucks...you might not want to read this. I for one am not the creator or author of any of these so I don't really care what other people think about these characters even if I really like some of them.

Warning 21+ only (age restriction) 

if you are offended by anything anyone says about your favorite character, this may be triggering for you and you should just not read it. These are just fictional characters and I don’t have to be considerate of their feelings so i'm just going t go all out. This is just for shits and giggles only so don't let what I'm saying go to your head cause these are just my thoughts alone and what bothers me in particular.

okay let's begin, I'll give you their name and what webtoon they are from, this is in no particular order... but let's start off strong...

1) Choi Pilwon - Pearl boy

if you have seen any of my monthly favorites, I have mentioned many times how much I hate this dude, I wrote in detail about all the things that he has done that made his despicable. I hate to say this but he got those reactions out of me because he is a well written character and that's what makes all the horrible things he's done triggering to people enough to want to physically hurt him. I once watched a drama in which one of the characters made me feel horrible and I hated that person and I would vocalize it to my dad that I hated her, and he would ask " why do you feel that way? " it was because the actor was really good in portraying the character that made me react that way, and now I know that even if a character/ actor does despicable things, they are in fact written well/good actor if they get emotional responses out of you. cause if they did not you would not care, it would suspend your disbelief. lol. So pilwon is a well written character despite being absolute shit...I feel like it will make his downfall the more enjoyable, and hopefully we will see that in the future.

2) Ilay riegrow - Passion

popular belief written by other people...he's hot that's all that matters...lmao yeah sure. my unpopular opinion, everyone like this character and sure he isn't as bad as other ones in the webtoon, but this dude cannot handle his emotions and gets violent and does incomprehensible things throughout the manhwa and I really don't understand his thought process in why he makes these choices.lol. Apparently he will remain the same throughout the whole novel according to someone whose read the entire thing, and that is concerning but I guess it plays well with how he was introduced, so I can't say that I expected more. Any ways, he does some really despicable things that does not sit well with me so I don't really like him

3) Jeong Taehui - Passion

the other main character, I don't know what other people say about him but I feel like they'd say things like " must protect at all costs" despite him being capable of protecting himself. I had to warm up to him at first cause he's one of those characters who make weird decisions based on what he sees, like when he saw xinlu for the first time and immediately falls in love with him cause he looks like a soft boy...lmao it was only his image, not going to lie that dynamic would be interesting since I would have not expected xinlu to be a "seme". So I guess the way he let's his views get in the way of his judgment is a little annoying. Especially that one particular scene that really almost made me drop this webtoon..ugh I was like why are you just going to take it and walk away? punch that guy in the face!...I was mad for him, he let him off easy...if it was me, blood will be spilled.lol. of course despite me hating ilay, he and taehui have that dynamic that works well with each other's personality. eventually taehui's personality really grew on me and he makes mistakes like everyone else and has low self esteem, and I also have those qualities so i can relate.

4) Ahn Jiwon - BJ alex

classic story at this point and one of my first reads so of course my opinion on it has changed a lot. I think most people like the dynamic between jiwon and dongyun after they shared the same feelings but I think people tend to forget that jiwon was a rude ass prick that was abusive in the earlier chapters, I did not forget that and when people say that he was a great character through out the story I will call them out on it cause he was not and I don't understand why you chose to blank that out of your memory. sorry not sorry...lol.

5) Choi Juwon- Love or hate

popular belief from people...he's husband material, great throughout the story, gave up everything for his " brother " lmao...I mean if you like incest, this might be romantic to you...but its an eww for me.

my opinion of this dude has been very negative since the beginning, I have mentioned I dropped this story a really long time ago in my monthly favorites, as for reasons why please refer to that post cause it's really long to explain. I just don't understand the appeal of incest stories, like out of 7 billion people on this earth you don't want anyone but your brother...hmm. I know they aren't blood related but there are stories that dodge the incest trope really well and I applaud them cause every time there is a story involving two half siblings it always goes to that route, at this point it's boring. The story would have been fine if they were just childhood friends, I think I would have maybe liked it better. not to say that this dude's character would have been any better cause he's really boring from what I remember. I think some people are really pushing this character to be the best bl character out there and I completely disagree.

I remember seeing a post on twitter from someone, who claims the actor from wednesday...jenny ortega i think her name is, said in an interview that she liked this character and he is her ideal type..okay first where is the source? ( by the way if you do find it please let me read it ...) cause I don't think any popular celebrity would flat out say that they read yaoi in public and second even if that’s true to have this guy be her ideal type would make believe that this is the only story she's read, because even people who have read this and liked the story back then have said that they read better ones since then. lol. and I agree. I don't know if that ordeal is true but if it is her tastes' are questionable. needless to say don't like him, never have...again sorry not sorry.

6) Taesoo - Lucky paradise

  I think when I first saw him...immediate red flag, but later on when his backstory was revealed I kind of understood where he came from, there are people that cling onto a relationship that isn't working mainly because it's familiar or because they are afraid to start over, so he basically didn't want a relationship that was either definite or nothing and that is really frustrating for the other person who wants something more. I'm glad chunwoo was able to finally let him go and move on with someone who can give him everything and more. Taesoo will need to find that person for himself now, so I didn’t hate him or anything I think I understood him after knowing all of his troubles, but even if I didn’t see his backstory I think I still would have figured out what was bothering him eventually, the writing for lucky paradise is really detailed and really gives a lot of good character development. so...didn't like him at first but changed my opinion of him in the end.

7) kwon Jaehyuk - Limited run

Hah...how should I put this 10/10 for looks but 4/10 for personality.lol. I just don't really like the character portrayal, I have mentioned before that I don't gravitate towards stories that have blackmail and sponsorships involving the main character, it usually leads to some sort of abuse in the end. Jaehyuk's personality is very stoic and I don't tend to like characters with that type of personality so it's just a personal preference but there is also the aspect of him not being able to understand his emotions towards yeonho that makes him do irrational things, and ended up making him a unlikable. There is more to this story so i wouldn’t say he is trash, but I just don't like this character trope in general.

8) Bum geonwoo - Dangerous convenience store

  ajusshi...lmao he and I are close to the same age so I really shouldn't call him that. he can call me aujima and I'll gladly accept it. again looks 10/10 but that personality is a little not my taste...I'd say 7/10 he is a little better that jaehyuk cause he knows how he feels about euijoon and acts on his feelings unlike other people. I still prefer a more silly personality versus stoic, but I understand why people like him and I honestly do too.

9) Jung Daon- Secret relationships

peoples opinion...hate him, deserves to be used, slut, dumb y'all are harsh towards doan, I don't understand why he gets so much hate, yes he can be frustrating at times because he does not know what he wants, but he's been used emotionally and physically by bad people over the course of 10 + years...that's literally damaging to a person and no one can recover from that trauma. I liked how doan was introduced and how he just min-maxes his life choices and wants to live the life of luxury because he had been poor his entire life while having terrible parents taking money from him and having to take care of his siblings while working and going to school all at the same time, I can understand why he became the way he did. I honestly related to not having the best relationship with my parents and still want nothing to do with them sometimes, he also has low self esteem and makes uncertain choices which is honestly the most relatable character out there. People who hate him obviously is not for his personality but for who he chooses in the end to be with...omg people grow up, daon is realistic and well written in my opinion and he does not deserve all the hate he gets.

lastly...

10) Kang Dooshik- Pearl boy

  love the guy, love him and his personality wholeheartedly I don't have a husbando but it became him as soon as I realized I spent 3 years with him to this date. I agree with all the popular opinions out there about him, the only ones I don’t are the ones that claim that he is the most perfect man out there... dooshik is far from perfect, ever since chapter one he had only cared about himself, it was only after getting to know jooha and the situation he was in that he became involved in his life voluntarily, he even said in the earlier chapters that he shouldn't get involved cause it isn't his problem, he was only looking for a place to stay for a while it didn't matter where or with who. He had been running away from his problems and wears his heart on his sleeve and does not express his concerns freely and it makes people forget that, people only liked him from when he had his glow up and didn't actually read the whole story of pearl boy from the beginning, claiming that he's perfect is not true, as much as I like him and want to believe it I like the fact that he's imperfect and flawed but slowly changing while keeping his core personality consistent is just good writing on the authors part. I can go on..but you know too much about me just by reading my dooshik commentary every month lol.

okay, there you have it another blog post of my un wanted opinions, these are honestly really fun to do because it gets me to look back on some of the things i’ve read and remember the reasons why I did or didn’t like certain aspects of a character. I think the most frustrating thing is that people who don't agree with you will defend their opinions by insulting yours and that's just rude. Just because you read and interpreted the story differently than I did does not give you the right to bully other people, so to each their own. if you want to see the original post from the person on twitter I'll link their thread below:

https://twitter.com/flamboyantgio/status/1639060426947276800

if you would like to see more hot takes please check out some of my other posts where I talk about my BL 3x3's and tier list ( which will need to be updated soon) and other trashy opinionated things for enjoyment.lol.

thanks for reading

[unohanadaydreams]

Don’t ask me why I made this, just know that I’m right and this is not just a Headcanon post but real. It’s not me having brain worms haha that would be insane. Honestly I just started thinking about how the hell arc introducing Seireitei approved social media would be such a mistake but god would it be fun to watch.

The Current Captains On Social Media

Shunsui Kyoraku - Failed erotic novel author turned romance/erotic novel reviewer. The fan base for his work is very small compared to his actual following. There is some divide in his followers—those who follow for his life updates and those who want to hear him talk at length about his latest read. Funnily enough, his quick, messy posts usually paired with scenery or a selfie are his most popular writing, often hailed as snippets of his poetic soul. Lots of people want to give him a hug.

Soi Fon - Adamant privacy and safety poster. Took to code and anti-virus technology well, much to Mayuri’s annoyance. Posts tips and tricks that read more like demands. Is known for her bitchy responses when followers @ her with their progress that are eaten up gratefully. Her advice is punctuated by posts admiring athletic women and these women make up the bulk of who she follows. She seems to admire runners and lifters the most. Her threatening posts when people hit on her too hard/with too many notes to back them up are turned into copypastas.

Rose Otoribashi - Has one of the larger followings thanks to his nostalgic visuals as well as his dedication to frequently posting new music. He has a personality that’s easily digestible when viewed through snippets. The fact that his passion is music and his job is news/editing also do him a lot of favors. He loves doing live streams and encourages his followers to perform for & with him.

Isane Kotetsu - Her growth being captured on social media not just as a captain but as a person has given her a fan base that feels extremely protective of her. She’s less known for what content she brings and more for her personality. Any creative content she posts is likely to start trending. Especially her ‘peaceful morning’ videos and reflective writing. She’s one of the more interactive posters, beloved for her encouraging responses.

Shinji Hirako - As a more private person, he doesn’t have much of a following and his most popular posts are candid moments posted by others. Lisa is a large reason people consider him endearing in anyway. Definitely the kind of person who is either considered cringe or cool with little in between. The kind of guy who asks what he should do with his hair and then goes with an option that wasn’t listed.

Byakuya Kuchiki - Has an extremely scheduled and curated presence on any site he’s on, but is nonetheless adored. He used to ask Renji and Akon for advice on how to handle some of the more online behavior (like being @ed by women who photoshop them as their date to events or being asked how many notes a date would cost) but stopped quickly. Turns out saying something is flattering leads to more of that behavior. Any selfie he posts is edited and reposted into oblivion until it’s thousands of people’s pfp.

Tetsuzaemon Iba - Despite him being one of the most well rounded captains personality wise, he gets put onto block lists the most for his dedication to concepts of manliness, which are easy concepts to feed to the social media outrage machine. Women’s Association vs Men’s Association is a popular meme where the former is something sensible and the latter is something ineffective/archaic. That being said, he’s also known as a ‘problematic fav’ and people will often post memes about abandoning their feminism for a few minutes to like his selfies and training videos.

Lisa Yadomaru - Another captain with a large love and hate following. Often picked apart for interacting with porn/hentai accounts, thirsting after women openly, and posting pictures alluding to her sexual escapades. Despite her account being regular food for the outrage machine, she doesn’t seem to care or pay attention to it and is forever horny on Main. She posts a lot of candid photos/videos of her friends. Recommends the best fucked up fiction.

Kensei Muguruma - Of course he does cooking videos, but what really does well are his cooking challenges. He forces his lieutenant, friends, and colleagues to compete with him on making a better dish on a time limit and often with other handicaps. Usually wins. His bloopers get a ton of mileage when he posts them. His merch is constantly sold out. People often dress up as him for Halloween/conventions, usually with foam or blow up arms/abs.

Toshiro Hitsugaya - Another captain with a huge following due to him approaching social media with his tireless work ethic. His ice sculptures are very popular and his pop-up galleries sell out in hours. Is actually a huge fan of ‘cozy’ games and is known for having beautiful towns/farms/ect that showcase his attention to detail. He does events in Minecraft sometimes, where he guides people through building large scale projects (and also feels like he’s making friends but that’s left entirely unsaid). A bit harsh, but beloved.

Kenpachi Zaraki - People question if it’s really his account because it’s so random at times, but he posts videos of him mowing down his subordinates during training so it has to be. The odd content includes engaging with easy recipes & activities for toddlers and increasingly complicated punk hairstyles that he really does try out. He also posts weekly, asking for people to volunteer and fight him. The human world especially loves this and he gets a lot of responses. He tries to set up times to fight them but Nanao threatens to delete his accounts and put him on suspension if he attempts to follow through. He posts a lot of post-battle pictures and humans gobble it up. “Just fought *insert ridiculous thing here*” is a huge meme.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi - He is constantly making new accounts and circumventing bans for posting links to his old lab work, that often involves heinous amounts of gore. Actually does have a following, often from those within his own division, those hoping to be in his division, or humans who see him as edgy and a little bit off his rocker, which they think is cool. He posts pictures of himself whenever he switches up his look. And posts Nemuri a lot with unhinged captains about how she’s going to outpace even the head captain and no one could make someone as special & smart as her. Just comes off as a really passionate dad. Plenty of people are convinced he’s a creepy pasta project ran by a dude with a daughter.

Rukia Kuchiki - Like Isane, she’s really loved for who she is rather than creative content. Even her attempts at being stern and ‘captain-like’ are fawned over. She has a line of children’s books, stickers, and notebooks with her cute drawings. Her most popular set was when her daughter contributed. The human world is convinced Renji is her house husband and her life is generally seen as all around ‘goals’. Her posts are riddled with mistakes and very sporadic; she’s posted accidental live streams while she did paperwork and they went viral. She posts tons of candids of her subordinates and family but they are usually blurry or actually videos.

[argumentativeaxolotl]

THANK YOU. No- dude- quite a few of people have been saying I “got what I deserved” and that I shouldn’t be on Ao3 if I don’t want to interact with proshippers since it’s a proship website which is EXACTLY WHY I PUT “PROSHIPPERS DNI” since I don’t want to breed that kind of environment and possibly have someone get groomed in my comments section. I don’t want to promote toxic behavior and if that means being firm with the more extremeist side then so be it. Like calling someone a creature of hell may be more extreme on my end, but I’m ADMITTING IT. Like I’ve already changed the description and everything(the reason everyone is mad at me isn’t even because the fanfic itself it’s the description💀). I think people are more upset with the fact it’s a “religious metaphor” (it’s not) than actually being called that and the fic was finished last year 😭

Ao3 through emails has stated that if I don’t want to interact with them I should block them when 1) I didn’t even know you could do that because ao3 preaches non-censorship and freedom and no-judgement or whatever and 2) why doesn’t that apply the other way around? If a proshipper doesn’t like me or my works why can’t they block me? If I’m actively stating “no proshippers” in descriptions or in tags of fics that’s actively going to make my audience smaller and would effect me and my reach more than anyone else since I’m “excluding” a larger portion of fandom since extreme proship is so widespread.

Like I don’t care if people are proship in their own time as long as real kids and real adults and real people aren’t involved, but unfortunately most of the time real people are involved in many different ways, but if you point that out you’re either labeled as a harasser and a bully or “just a hater” or something.

Someone even called me entitled for not wanting to interact with proshippers but that’s like going on instagram and getting uncomfortable with sexual ads. I’m allowed to be uncomfortable in all spaces unless I’m actively seeking certain things such as porn and the works. I don’t get why it’s “entitled” of me if I don’t want to work with or interact with people like that. There are plenty of people on Ao3 who aren’t comfortable with the glorification of rape, incest, etc which is what a lot of the extremist Proshippers do and I want to interact with those people over the proshippers. Like I can choose the crowd of people I wanna hang out and interact with, right? 😭

Again if I don’t want to interact with proshippers with my fanfics the only thing that’s doing is harming me as an author since that would narrow my audience so I don’t get the big deal of not wanting to interact with people who sometimes have legit groomers and pedos in their circles but won’t admit it 😭

Like I’m anti proship only because of the really creepy people on that side of the fandom who glorify things that shouldn’t be glorified or who actively seek out the younger portion of the fandom. Like I couldn’t care less who people ship as long as it has no real world consequences- unfortunately a lot of the times real life and fiction collide in unfortunate or horrid ways like the Slenderman Stabbing case from like 2014 where that two girl’s friends tried to summon Slenderman and legit almost killed their friend because they thought he was real or something. Like that is a perfect example of how some people with mental illnesses or just how some people in general don’t understand fiction from reality and it can damage other people in real life and that’s TERRIFYING.

LMAOO I'M ONE OF THE PEPOPLE THAT REPORTED YOU

I'm gonna send your post to the Ao3 staff so they know you actively bash and harass people on other platforms as well, enjoy the IP ban sweetiepie!! 🥰🥰

Ah I see so you’re one of the proshippers 💀 nahhhh bro cuz I don’t give a fuck if you’re actively shipping minors and adults in your own time but don’t bring me and my fanfic into that shit. It is disgusting and it isn’t an okay thing to do. If you wanna do it in your own time I do NOT CARE. But don’t bring this shit up and get upset with my fic because I said to get lost.

If you want a proship fic go write one or talk to other proshippers. I don’t believe in proshipping(firm anti) and you will not change my mind on that. It IS GROSS. It can have REAL WORLD CONSEQUENCES. It can allow ACTUAL PEDOPHILES and SEX OFFENDERS access to REAL CHILDREN.

Again I do not give a fuck if you are a proshipper or not, but don’t actively say I’ve harassed you. I haven’t done shit to you- oh what I don’t agree with your beliefs and your ship? Womp Womp dude. You clearly don’t agree with mine and that’s OKAY. Don’t get butt-hurt over being called a creature of hell because you’re clearly acting like it dawg 💀

I haven’t harassed anyone nor have I bashed anyone. I haven’t gone after you- you’re just offended that your favorite proship isn’t in the fic. In that case, go find your favorite ship and read that instead dawg. I ain’t gonna deal with such bullshit because guess what? I do not care about what your shipping beliefs are as long is it doesn’t effect real people. If you enjoy that, go look for that on ao3.

You don’t want hate hence why you’re sending in anonymously. Actually message me and we can talk this through in private since you’re clearly not understanding what harassment is. Don’t hide behind your screen, DM me.

Oh and while you’re at it, can you give me an example of harassment? You messaged me first here and I have every right to defend myself and talk about what happened.

[rpd-rookie]

The One Who Runs Away, The One Who Runs Back (Leon S. Kennedy x Reader)

Author’s note: This is a sequel to “A PAST WITH HER, A FUTURE WITH YOU” and the end of my three-parts fan fiction "I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY HEART" I decided to write after so many of you asked for it. Sorry it took so long but I was navigating from one fandom to another. (BTW, if there are any Devil May Cry fans up here, you can read my DMC fan fictions here) PS: Even if I said it before, I have no hate whatsoever towards Ada or Aeon.

Tagged: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Post-Break up, Sexual Content 

Part 1 / Part 2

***

Do you remember? We started this story by quoting some sitcom character that was clueless about love. Well, here’s a suggestion. Why not ending it by quoting someone who knew a little more on such matter.

William Shakespeare - you know that English dude expert on tragic ‘drink this poison, stab yourself’ kind of love - apparently once said ‘Love runs away from those chasing her, and those who run away, she throws herself on his neck’. I say ‘apparently’ cause, even though I have a master in English lit, this quote is from the internet, and also … who knows what the guy truly said?

But it’s the quote that’s important. Not the author. The quote it’s important because it sums up perfectly how this story is gonna end. However, before starting, let me tell you this quote is going to be the only Shakespeare-worthy sentence in this final chapter. You’ve been warned.

Love runs away from those chasing her.          Well, this part was definitely written for someone like Ada Wong. Owner of countless gold medals and possibly a world record at this point, that woman is basically the Usain Bolt of the ‘Running from Leon S. Kennedy’ competition. Unchallenged winner since the creation of this sultry version of cat and mouse game, it’s better not to think about the number of times she successfully ran away from her favourite agent.  But this year, this formidable titleholder in a gorgeous red dress will have to face her Nemesis in the championship. You. Though the comparison to the hideous bio-organic killing machine might not be very complimentary to you but you get the idea.  This year you enter the Kennedy Olympics. And this year you run like Sonic the Hedgehog and you win the damn competition (screw you Usain Bold!). And you do this with your head high and without an ounce of regret. Ignore all the texts and flowers Leon might send on your track Mario Kart style. His gifts are not as slippery as banana peels and they can easily be dodged, I promise. Well, most of the time, when you’re not lying on your bed in the middle of the night crying and sobbing while reading his messages or playing his voice in your voicemail again and again until you’re nothing more but a giant mess with puffy red eyes drowning in a puddle of your own tears.        Screw those messages too! And screw his broken yet terribly sexy voice as well!

Being a man of word, Leon kept his promise. And for months you kept on running peacefully, marathoning away from this past relationship that had destroyed you like no other before while tranquilly fixing your broken heart on the way. That run was a good cardio.

But sometimes, cardio is not enough, and even just the small sight of an overpriced whisky bottle or the smell of Leon’s perfume on some guy’s clothes is enough to reopen your wounds.           And when it happens, you always do the same thing, you break the damn bottle - and run cause damn! it’s expensive! -  or you tell the guy his perfume smells like cheap cologne and that he should definitely change it, which is an improvement on your past destructive behaviour, since there was a time shortly after the break up when you would have simply dragged the guy to your place to let him fuck you senseless while imagining he was Leon. All that just for the illusion to feel him again and for the sake to kick him out the next morning, screaming like a hysterical psycho.

So imagine, for a small second, the wave of intense feelings surging out of your healing heart when, in the middle of a cafe, you hear some dude sitting behind you ordering Leon’s favourite whisky while wearing the same bloody perfume. “It’s got to be relentless persecution at that point!” You sigh, already annoyed, closing your book more violently than intended. Hope you’re ready, stranger! Because you’re not in the mood to deal with this right now.            You turn around with a fake smile that reflects perfectly your irritation, ready to give him hell, your sharpest riposte already burning your tongue. After all, he deserves it and you can’t help it.         But when you meet familiar – and freaking gorgeous - baby blue eyes you freeze and stare, suddenly confused and lost and refusing to believe that in spite of the intense running, love just jumped at your neck after all and it was sitting there, taking the shape of Leon S(tupid) Kennedy.

You should have stood up and left, run for your life, run for your heart. And yet, you didn’t.    You stayed there staring at him looking at you, allowing all your memories, the good ones and the bad ones, all your buried feelings to come back from the dead, embracing them as if you had missed them, which, let’s be honest, you probably had.            You tried to scream to yourself “Come on, Y/N! Shake a leg!” but it seemed that what you brain understood was something like “Cum on him! Open your legs!” as a couple of blurry hours later, you were on Leon’s bed, legs wide open, screaming his name and begging him not to stop his amazing thrusts.

Six months, you ran for six months … Well, looks like the run ends here and now. After a minute-long deep stare, an afternoon of amazing sex and two hours long of something blurry in between.

“I missed you.” And there you were! The moment all couples that broke up have after one of them (in this case Leon with the infamous ‘I missed you line’) starts to believe they miraculously rekindled their love. The fatal post-coital cuddling session that you don’t know how to react to, as you think of all the possibilities before you.      Possibility Number 1) You tell Leon you missed him too and cuddle, enjoying that embrace you secretly yearned for months. But that includes forgetting what he has done or pretending that nothing happened.     Possibility Number 2) You push him away, get dressed, leave again and act as if this afternoon never happened. But if Leon doesn’t remind you of it, the ache between your legs will, that’s for sure!   Possibility Number 3) You jump him again until you sore even more and hope that you’ll be able to leave afterwards.         Frankly, all possibilities suck because, in all cases, it seems like you lose. Since,       with Possibility Number 1) you lose the run forever, with Possibility Number 2) you lose him again and with Possibility Number 3) well it’s result 1 or 2 + your body aching like crazy for days. I suck at math but no need to be Einstein to know the result of this calculation looks unpleasant.    So what do you choose?

You see a triangular dice rolling in your head, showing a never-ending succession of 1, 2 and 3 that doesn’t make any sense and that confuse you even more than you already are. 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2 ! Oh for fuck’s sake!

You grimace, angry and pissed at Leon and probably even more at yourself, and finally leaves his bed and his strong warm arms, feeling the tears furiously forming in your eyes. “I can’t” You can’t look at him in the eyes. You don’t want to see his confusion, don’t want to see his pain as he witnesses all his hopes shatter to pieces.         “ What do you mean?” You can hear the sheets crease behind you, alerting you of Leon’s agitation, so you hurry and pick up all your clothes scattered in his room. You must leave, now. 2! 2 it is!  “This! All This! This afternoon never happened.” You tell him, putting on your clothes with sudden clumsy and trembling hands, not caring if your bra is correctly hooked or if you put your shirt on back to front. Your heart. You have to think of your poor heart first.          “Hey, hey, hey.” You feel Leon’s hand softly grabbing your arms and you let go of whatever you were holding right now. His voice is sweet and trying to be comforting. Don’t look at him Y/N! Don’t look at him! “Look at me.” You do. Damn it! And you see his gorgeous blue eyes staring at you, studying your flustered face and the tears slowly drowning your (colour) look. You missed those eyes. You missed them so.damn.much ! As much as you missed his hands cupping your face and his thumbs wiping up your tears. God! How many tears those thumbs have missed recently. “It’s alright.”

You want to believe him. You really do. But there is this voice screaming in your head and very clearly this time. A voice shouting, forcing you to remember that night, that awful nightmarish night, the one when you felt your heart break and your dreams turn to ashes. All that because of him and his obsession for her.

“No, it’s not alright, Leon.” You shake your head and miraculously manage to take a small step back. You never thought you could. But you had to. You can’t stay close to him. You can’t let him touch you, feel you. Not if you want to run away. And you have to run away. Like her! Like Ada. Ada! “I told you. For as long as you have feelings for Ada, I can’t … we can’t…”     “Please don’t talk about her.” He begs and rubs his hand over his face. Is he trying to chase her away from his mind? Is she still in here? Please, let her not be in here.    “But she’s the reason we’re in this situation now. She’s the reason why we’re in this mess.” You insist only for the sake to see his reaction when you mention Ada, to see if she’s still under his skin, somewhere. “Ada is not the reason. I am!” Leon corrects you, a finger directed at his heavy chest as he is putting the full blame on himself for the first time since that night. “I am the one who went after Ada when I shouldn’t have! I am the reason why we broke up! I am the reason why we are so miserable!”         “But I was fine!” You shouted back in an attempt to show him he was wrong refusing to listen to that part of you who knew he was completely right. You were miserable without him. “I was doing fine until you came back and fucked everything up! I was healing goddamnit!”             You felt new tears rolling along your red cheeks and quickly wipe them off with the back of your hand that felt so callous and rough in comparison to Leon’s gentle touch. “You can’t just jump back into my life like this and expect me to forget!”

Leon nods, agreeing with you in a certain way. But the truth is, he doesn’t want you to forget. He doesn’t expect you to erase his mistake. He just wants you to forgive him … No, he just wants you to come back to him. Period. And that’s got to be what you want to. It has to!   “So why did you have sex with me, huh?” He finally asks even though he already knows your answer. “Tell me!” You’re not the kind of person who has meaningless sex, not the kind of person who worships one’s body with divine kisses and devoted caresses if they mean nothing. “Why did you have sex with me?” And yet the answer he wishes to hear doesn’t come out. “For fuck’s sake Y/N! Answer me! Why?” He shouts making you shiver and cry even more.    “Because I LOVE YOU!” You finally scream. And it hurts. It hurts but it feels good too. Like a weight lifted off your chest. “Because I missed you too! Because those months without you have been terrible! Because I don’t know how to handle even just the thought of you or the sound of your voice in my voicemail. Because each time I see something that makes me think of you, I’m a mess and I do things that normal me would never do! You fucked me up, Leon! You fucked me up but I love you! And I hate to love you!” You grunt in pain and relief, enraged but happy that you finally let everything out. And Leon listens in silence, frozen by your powerful honest confession. But he doesn’t know how to react. He doesn’t know what to say. Part of him is overjoyed, ecstatic that you still love him but there is another part that just feels terrible, sorry for the pain your love for him caused you even in his absence.   “But you see—“ You continue “That’s the problem in our relationship, Leon! I love you in ways that are so intense, that go beyond sanity. And you love me by half.”    You see him crumple, his horrified face looking suddenly very pale as if he had just heard some dreadful news. Is that really how you feel? Is that how you see his love for you? Is that what he has made you believe?         “Goodbye Leon.”

With the full intention to leave Leon’s place for good and never come back, you grab you bag on your way out of the bedroom while carelessly shoving your underwear inside of it since you forgot to put them on in the midst of panic and precipitation. Get out of here, Y/N! Now! A reasonable voice encourages you. Listen to me!    But this not what Leon wants.

“I never loved you by half.” He declares and you abruptly stop, asking God if he’s some kind of sadist that loves seeing you in pain from the comfort of his divine sofa somewhere in heaven. “Never.” But it’s not God and his sadism that makes you turn around. It’s you, and your masochist love for that blue-eyed man before you.     “I don’t believe you” Your voice almost doesn’t leave your throat as you try not to sob.           “But it’s the truth.” He says with a calm soothing voice as he slowly approaches you. “I never imagined my future with Ada. I never wished to grow old with her or build a home with her.” You want to tell Leon to stop talking, to stay where he is but your body doesn’t seem to respond. And when you feel him grabbing your hands in his and the comforting warmth that goes with that simple touch, you know that leaving is now an almost impossible task. “Yes. I admit it. My feelings for her were real.” Even when his honesty hurts you, you don’t know how to leave anymore. “But they were nothing in comparison to what I feel for you.”     You try to let go, pulling your hands away from his loving grip but he holds you back. And you’re not strong enough. Or maybe, you just don’t want to be strong. Everything is so confusing. Everything is tearing you apart.     “But they’re still here, aren’t they?” You question, hoping his answer might give you a clue, might give you the strength to make the correct decision. Do you leave? Or do you stay? “And they’ll keep coming back each she goes back into your life. You can’t let go of her.”    “You’re maybe right.” His words hurt you more than you thought they would. They hurt like hell because you realise there are not the ones you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear him say that he would let go of Ada, for good, for you. You wanted to hear that because deep down … YOU WANTED TO FUCKING STAY! “But can you let go of your past?” He continues and you shake your head refusing to hear any other word coming out of Leon’s mouth.       “Don’t!” You beg, weary.           “No! Listen to me this time. Ada is my past, Y/N. She’s my past. And you … you’re my future. You’re my life, damn it!” He doesn’t cry but you don’t need his tears to sense how emotional and how honest he is. And suddenly, you just want to listen to him. “And I was a fool not to see it sooner. When you left me, I felt a void I had never felt in my entire life. I felt like a part of me was missing. And then, the bombing in Washington happened, and it was like I had nothing left. I needed you. I wanted you. You. Not Ada.”      “Leon” You whisper and he cups your face again, blue eyes staring deep into yours, allowing you to see everything in him, his strong love for you and all the weaknesses he hated to admit. “It was you in my mind. Only you. And it will always be you. Because I love you. Now. Today. And I will always love you.”

You cry even more, uncertain if those tears are tears of sorrow, tears of joy or a mix of both. God, how can your emotions be such a mess right now? How can you be wishing to shout at him with all the anger you’ve accumulated and, at the same time, willing to kiss him with all love you’ve got?

“If you got to believe something. Believe that. And if that’s not enough and you think you can be happy with someone else. Then go. I won’t hold you back.” You frown. He is fucking lying. You’re sure of it. “You can’t stop running after me and you know it.” He smiles and scoffs, sensing that hint of sudden defiance in your tone he enjoys a lot.  “True. I can’t sop running after you. But I’ll do my best not to catch you if that’s what you want. But you got to tell me. Is that what you truly want?” You don’t reply. Truth is, you’re not sure what to say not because you’re not sure that’s what you want but because you’re not sure you can trust him if you let him in again.                        “No.” You whisper. “No, that’s not what I want. I want you. All of you.” You can see Leon struggle to contain his growing joy as it starts to glimmer brighter and brighter in his irises. He doesn’t want to cry victory just yet. He is cautious and rightfully so. “But can I?”        “Want me?” He smiles. “ Have you completely?” You correct, searching for a promise in his eyes, one you hope, you wish he would not break this time.     “Trust me with your heart again and find out.”

This better not hurt this time…

[divinefireangel]

Scream Princess

SF9 Jaeyoon x F! Reader Smut.

YES I USED THIS GIF ON PURPOSE 😈

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Listen. I fucking hate frat boys okay 😂. So this was easy to write cause Jae is hot and I'll do anything for him 🥰 This is the longest fic I've written so far. And I'm proud. I hope you like it anon! I have to warn you, I didn't include the choking sadly 😔 slipped my mind. But I still hope it lives up to expectations 🥺.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ ages and female readers (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). Fuck buddies/enemies to lovers. We live for that cute shit. Rough sex. Mentions of blowjobs. Fingering (f receiving). Jae calls reader 'princess', just incase I wasn't clear. And it's smut, so your typical smut warnings. Nothing overboard don't worry. But do let me know if I need to add something more. Not proof read. Excuse the errors.

Requested: Yes! By a lovely anon 🖤

frat! boy jaeyoon and you have a love hate relationship. you love him when he chokes u and calls u princess, hate him every other second. maybe he gets so jealous at a party seeing u play pong w someone else that he takes u upstairs to make u not hate him and to let everyone else youre his.

2.8k Words ;)

It was a simple arrangement. When either of you are horny, you fuck. And the rest of the time, you pretend he doesn't exist. Ugh how you hate fratboys. But Jaeyoon is hot. You gotta give him that. And he works out a lot which is very much seen on him and the way he tosses your around when you fuck.

Sex with him is just so fulfilling. He'll give you everything you want. The passion. The speed, always fast. The way his tongue always makes you so hot. Just thinking about it makes you wet. The way he stares at you with so much hateful fire that you mirror, when he's so deep in you. The bruises he leaves when he grips you so tight you can't escape from under him. The soreness you feel after every session of sexual entanglement is just delicious. You hate it.

But what you enjoy most is how he calls you 'princess' while fucking your guts out. The rest of the time, you can't tolerate his existence. It makes you wanna roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. You hate his playboy manners, the way he always acts like he's so cool cause he's a part of the most popular fraternity on campus. You hate how he's so cocky and acts like every girl walking would just drop their panties if he told them to. You hate that he thinks he's better than everyone. You hate him, so much.

And so here you are, at one of his frat parties, as much as you didn't want to be here. Even after insisting that you're busy and don't want to go to the party, your friends and roommates didn't buy your excuses, stating that you need to get a boyfriend or at least get laid. Oh if only they knew. Standing in the corner of the lawn, a red solo cup with disgusting beer in your hand, you stare cringingly at the mess of hot bodies grinding against each other, desperate for god knows what. Yep. You are definitely not attending another such, event.

" Hey you busy? " A voice asked.

Looking to your right, then left you notice a cute guy, who was clearly looking at you. Blinking you look at him with a blank expression. What's he playing at, you wonder.

" Oh right sorry. I'm Youngbin. We're playing Beer Pong and we're a player short and you are standing here by yourself so I thought you could join us. If you want to, of course. No pressure. " He said flaying his hands around innocently.

Well you do have nothing to do right now, might as well follow the cute guy. Who knows, he may ask you out.

" Yeah sure! I'd love to. I'm Y/N, by the way. "

" Ah. Nice to meet you. Are you a freshman? "

" Sophmore actually. "

" Oh nice. I'm a senior. A few freshmen students are still underage, gotta be careful you know. "

" Oh yeah I get it. But you should know that they are at times wilder than us. " Giggling at your words, he leads you towards the table, finally reaching.

" Oh great you found someone. I'm Zuho. " Another cute guy said. Wow you were really gonna miss out if you'd stayed in your room.

" Y/N. " You said as you shook his hand.

" Okay so it's 3 versus 3. You guys start. " Zuho said to the collective mass, starting the game. Winning a few, and losing a lot of ping-pong balls, you were finally happy. A little tipsy, but still sober enough to do a math problem, you continued to play the game, now having more players on each team. Surprisingly, you were good at the game and not so surprisingly, you started to get close to Youngbin. Slight lingering touches on your arm, your waist and the tingle that went down your body when he moved you hair so you could focus on bouncing the ball. Maybe the ball wouldn't be the only thing that would be bouncing soon.

" YO YOUNGBIN! " A booming voice called. Oh no. You knew this voice. You knew it really well. Begrudgingly you turned to look at none other than Lee Jaeyoon. Of course the fucker is here. He's at every party, trying to hook up with random girls who all seem to be interested in him.

Staring at you intently as he hugged Youngbin, You wished the ground will open up and swallow you whole. Why was he here. You were having so much fun. Well who says you can't have fun with him right here, staring at you like you were a piece of candy. Yeah nope. Time to go home. Vibing with the music, you slowly start to step back as everyone at the pong table started to talk to Jaeyoon. After stepping far enough, you turn on your heel, ready to strint away. Feeling someone grab your wrist, you're turned around with so much force you crash into a hard chest, hands going to his shoulders to stabilize yourself. Looking to see who stopped you, you're met with a cocky smirk, adorning the face of, well you guessed it.

" Where are going? I thought you were having fun so I came to join you. And you decide to leave without telling me? I'm hurt princess. " He says, the smirk only getting bigger as your blood boils with rage. This fucker. If given a chance to wipe out someone's existence completely, you'd choose him.

" Yeah well. Since you're here, it won't be fun anymore. "

" Oh is that how it is? "

Nodding yes, you step away from him, crossing your arms as you try to look tall next to his broad, tree like, super climbable figure. Stop it. Don't think of him like that. Not now at least.

Running his tongue on the inside of him cheek, he looks down at you. He looks hot. And angry?

" Well princess, I'm hurt. Right here. " Pointing at his chest, he moves closer to you. Breath hitching, you stare at him wide eyed, as his face comes to your eye level.

" You seemed to have forgotten out arrangement princess. "

What is he talking about. Was he drunk? Sniffing, you check if he was drunk. He wasn't. Which is shocking. Grabbing your upper arms and pulling you near with his hands, his lips move to your ear.

" I'm not happy with the way you were getting so close to Youngbin. You shouldn't do that when you have me. "

" Excuse me. What. " You say, breaking free from his grip. Looking at him, your face screams, 'Are you crazy'. Well someone should.

" What the fuck do you mean ' you're not happy'. Last I checked, I'm a free independent woman, who is single, and would very much like a cute caring boyfriend AND who doesn't just wish to be someone's fuck-buddy. So if you may, I'd like to go ask out Youngbin. " Smiling bitterly, you try to make your way around Jaeyoon, only to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled back into Jaeyoon's muscular chest.

Glaring at you, he starts to walk towards his room, a path you aren't new to, as his grip on your wrist tightens, pulling you with him. Entering the room, he pushes you in, then locks it. Stumbling, you grab his chair so you don't fall. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

" What in the actual HELL is wrong with you! What the fuck dude. Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? Is it cause I was actually happy flirting with Youngbin? Last I checked, I don't belong to anyone. And especially not to you. So don't go around acting like you're my boyfriend because you aren't. And don't at all act like you care about me because the whole wide freakin world knows that you care about no one but yourself. So move, before I kick you so hard you'll have to go the hospital. " To say you were angry would be so wrong. You were furious. His existence infuriates you.

" I like you. "

" What? " Is he for real? Manipulation? Really?

" I'm not trying to manipulate you. I really do like you. And I wasn't happy seeing you get touchy with one of my friends. " Is he a mind reader or something? Probably. I mean he does know what you want when you just whine and writhe under him as he pleasures- Wait no! Stop.

" Why tell me now? " You ask calmly, well as calm as you could get without letting your guard down.

" Because... I don't know okay! I just, I just couldn't stand there as he got close to you. When it could've been.... Well could be me.... " He said slowly. You've never seen him so, vulnerable. He looks like a sad puppy.

" I'm sorry but, are you sure? " Chewing on your lower lip, you wait for him to reply. How can he like so suddenly. It's not natural right?

" I am. I really like you. And I want you to be my strong independent girlfriend. I want to take you out on a date. A real one. Many dates. Please just give me a chance. You won't regret it. " Taking your hand in his, he rubs his thumbs over your knuckles. Dramatically, you life your eyes up, only to find him looking at you with puppy eyes. Nodding your head slowly, you swallow. Breaking a grin on his face, he places your hands on his wide shoulders as he connects your lips for the first time this evening, his hands wandering from your waist to your hips.

" Oh baby. I'll make sure you never regret this decision. " And with that he places his hands on your ass, tapping it so you jump in his arms. Obliging, you connect your lips again, wanting to feel them melt against yours as you process what's happening. Placing your on the table, he removes yours and his jackets, throwing them on the floor somewhere. Moving close to your seated figure, his hands find themselves on your neck, tilting your face up to kiss you again and again till you're both out of air in your lungs. He slowly grinds his hips to your front, your knees going around his hips as your hands tug at his shirt.

Stepping back he removes his shoes and shirt, exposing his well toned chest and abs to you. Removing your footwear and freeing your hair, you beckon him to come to you as you bite your lip seductively. Smirking, he obeys you, coming as close to you as you want. Lips meet your neck, one hand to your hair, pulling it till your head tilts back exposing the flesh on your neck to him, his other hand wandering up under your top. Hunching it in your palms, you remove your top as he wastes no time to undo your bra, freeing your breasts to the cool air of the room.

Kissing down your body, his lips latch on to your left nipple, hand toying and twisting the other. Arching your body into his face, you grab his hair, pulling it like you always do. Releasing your nipple with a pop, he begins to undo his belt with one hand. Raising his free hand to your head, he advances in your direction till your chests meet, skin to skin, heat to heat, and lips meet once more.

Without breaking the kiss, he discards his pants, leaving him in boxers. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he lifts you up moving the two for you to his bed. Gently he puts you on the matress, hands finding the button of your jeans, undoing it and pulling them down your legs. Staring in your eyes he bites his lip, freeing it sexily he leans his face down to your neck, kissing, biting and marking you with little lovebites.

Rotating your head to the opposite side you gasp when you feel his fingers rub your folds over your panties. Lifting your upper body off the bed slightly your hands grab hold of his wrist that's on your needy mound. Keeping them there you begin to grind yourself on his fingers, releasing breathy moans of constricting pleasure.

" Fuck princess, you look so hot grinding yourself against me. Let me take care of that for you. " He whispers on your ear, chills travelling down your body reaching just where you need him. Letting go of his wrist, you grab onto his shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him again. Moaning in his mouth when he moves your panties to a side with his fingers, touching your wet pussy. Groaning at how wet you are, he easily slips in two fingers in your hole, pumping them slowly. Breaking the kiss you curse at the feeling of his thick digits moving along your entrance.

" Oh fuck. Yes- Please don't stop " You gasp when he touches your g-spot with his fingertips at the same time his thumb finds your clit. Increasing the pace of his fingers, he presses his nose on your cheek, breathing out ragged breaths as he grinds his dick to the matress at your moans. Roughly he rubs your clit pulling out as you cry in protest, feeling empty. Opening your eyes at the loss of warmth above you, you feel his hands pulling your panties down your legs, noticing his hard length, tip so red he would probably cum if your wrapped your mouth around him. Ripping open the condom, he rolls it on his cock, forcefully making your lay on your back as he enters you whole. Crying out at feeling so full with his dick deep in your pussy, you arch your back adjusting to his thick length. Slipping an arm below you when you do so, he licks your lower lip, biting it and pulling at it.

Drawing his hips back just a little, he slowly starts to ease himself in you, body rocking against yours, hair falling down on your forehead, hands grabbing your waist to keep you in place. Pressing your fingers into his back you chant his name, encouraging him to go further and faster. Being the mind reader he is, he pulls out almost whole, before ramming his cock in as fast as he can. Screaming out in pleasant surprise you hug him tighter, allowing him to go faster and faster till you lose your voice.

" Princess. You're so tight around me. Yes baby, scream my name " He growls in your ear deeply, the coil in your stomach getting tighter with each thrust, feeling full till your stomach every time his dick is balls deep. And feeling just as empty when he drags out. Your hole stretched out to accommodate his thick girth, making you think it might tear open. Jaeyoon is driving his cock in and out of you so rapidly you can feel you juices leaking out of your pussy, drawing you closer to your orgasm.

" Jae. I'm gonna- I'm close " You warn him, wanting to cum undone together.

" Yeah baby me too, fucking scream my name for me princess. Please I need you to. Scream princess! " Rubbing your clit, he freezes at sensation of your walls closing around his dick just as tightly as your legs close around his hips. Screaming his name out so loudly, your body jerks and squirms shamelessly as you cum on his cock, squeezing his till he's dumbfolded above you and helplessly cums in the condom.

Falling on top of you gently, he catches his breath, chest heaving heavily as you slowly unclench your legs and pussy, also catching your breath, enjoying your post orgasm euphoria. Whimpering when he pulls out, your body convulses around air, still not over your high. Blinking your eyes, you close them slowly, feeling tired out due to the mind blowing orgasm you just had.

Feeling a damp cloth on your sore folds, you open you eyes unwillingly, looking at your 'boyfriend' who's cleaning you up. And who has already worn sweats. Going back to the bathroom, he throws the towel in the laundry basket, returning to the room and handing you one of his shirts and clean boxers. Shyly you put on the clothes given to you.

" Oh don't go all shy on my now when you were just screaming my name a few minutes ago. " He says laughing. Blushing you wait till he comes to sit behind you, laptop in one hand.

" Wait what about the party? " You ask, wondering why he's switching on his laptop.

" Eh. It's just another party. And I have you here now. You're all the party I'll ever need. " Pulling you close by your waist, he makes you sit between his legs, covering your legs with his comforter. Throwing a pillow on top of the comforter, he places the laptop on it, playing a newly released movie. Nuzzling into your neck, he pulls you closer and wraps his arms around your frame as you both started your first binge session.

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Hot takes about Severus Snape are a wierdly decent glimpse into how a person with progressive values analyses things. Literally every time someone talks about Snape, it’s like this tiny window into how one-dimentionally people actually think.

Recently saw a twitter post that was a fantastic example. Here’s how it goes (paraphrasing):

Person A:“Snape is POC and Queer coded, that’s why you guy’s hate him uwu lol.”

Person B: “Actually I hate him because he was mean and abusive to children under his care uwu but go off I guess lol”

Both of these takes are designed to be dramatic and/or reactionary. They each use partial truths to paint very broad strokes. These are get-em-in-one-hit quips. This is virtue signalling, if you’ll excuse that loaded phrase. Nobody had a substantial conversation, but now everyone who sees their statement knows the high ground they took.

At least a hundred other people chimed in to add their own little quippy hot takes into play, none of which add anything significant, but clearly made everyone feel very highly of themselves.

So many layers of nuance and complex analysis is completely lost in this kind of discussion. On tumblr, you get more of this kind of bullshit, but you don’t have a word count limit, so you guys just spew endless mountains of weak overblown evidence backing up your bullshit arguments, none of which was really about engaging in a real conversation anyway.

Here’s the thing about Snape.

He is a childhood domestic abuse victim. His abuser is a muggle.

He becomes a student at a magical school that takes him away from his abuser and immediately instills in him the idea that being a part of this magical world is a badge of self-worth, empowerment, and provides safety and security - provided that he keeps in line.

There is a war is being waged in that world over his right to exist (he is a half blood).

He is a marginalized person within the context of the narrative, forced to constantly be in the same living space as the children of his own oppressors who are being groomed and recruited into a hate group militia (the pureblood slytherins). They are in turn trying to do the same to him.

He is marginalized person bullied by children who are also part of his oppressor group, but who have “more liberal” leanings and aren’t direct about why he’s being targeted (the mauraders are all purebloods, Sirius, who was the worst offender, was raised in a bigoted household, the same one that produced Bellatrix.).

He had a crush on a girl who is a muggleborn, and therefore she is considered even lesser than him and carries a stigma to those who associate with her. That girl was his only real friend. In his entire life.

For both Snape and Lily, allying themselves to a pureblood clique within their own houses would be a great way of shielding themselves from a measure of the bigotry they were probably facing. There would have been obvious pressure from those cliques to disconnect with one and other.

Every other person who associates with Snape in his adulthood carries some sort of sociopolitical or workplace (or hate cult) baggage with their association. Some of them will physically harm and/or kill him if he steps out of line. He hasn’t at any point had the right environment to heal and adjust from these childhood experiences. Even his relationship with Dumbledore is charged with constant baggage, including the purebloods who almost killed him during their bullying getting a slap on the wrist, the werewolf that almost killed him as a child being placed in an authority position over new children, etc. Dumbledore is canonically manipulative no matter his good qualities, and he has literally been manipulating Snape for years in order to cultivate a necessary asset in the war.

He is a person who is not in the stable mental state necessary to be teaching children, whom has been forced to teach children. While also playing the role of double agent against the hate group militia, the one that will literally torture you for mistakes or backtalk or just for fun. The one that will torture and kill him if he makes one wrong move.

Is the math clicking yet? From all of this, it’s not difficult to see how everything shitty about Snape was cultivated for him by his environment. Snape was not given great options. Snape made amazingly awful choices, and also some amazingly difficult, courageous ones. Snape was ultimately a human who had an extremely bad life, in which his options were incredibly grim and limited.

In fact, pretty much every point people make about how shitty Snape is as a person makes 100% logical sense as something that would emerge from how he was treated. Some if it he’s kind of right about, some of it is the inevitable reality of suffering, and some of it is part of the cycle of abuse and harm.

Even Snape’s emotional obsession with Lily makes logical sense when you have the perspective that he literally has no substantial positive experiences with other human beings that we know of, and he has an extreme, soul destroying guilt complex over her death. Calling him an Incel mysoginist nice guy projects a real-world political ideology and behavior that does not really apply to the context of what happened to him and her.

Even Snape’s specific little acts of cruelty to certain students is a reflection of his own life experiences. He identifies with Neville; more specifically, he identifies his own percieved emotional weaknesses in his childhood in Neville. There’s a very sad reason there why he feels the urge to be so harsh.

Snape very clearly hates himself, in a world where everyone else hates him, too. Imagine that, for a second. Imagine total internal and external hatred, an yearning for just a little bit of true connection. For years. Imagine then also trying to save that world, even if it’s motivated by guilt. Even if nobody ever knows you did it and you expect to die a miserable death alone.

There are more elements here to consider, including the way Rowling described his looks (there may be something in there re: ugliness and swarthy stereotyping). These are just the things that stand out the most prominently to me.

J.K. Rowling is clearly also not reliable as an imparter of moral or sociopolitical philosophies. I don’t feel that her grasp of minority experiences is a solid one, considering how she picks and chooses who is acceptable and who is a threat.

All of that said, this is a logically consistent character arc. Within the context of his narrative, Snape is a marginalized person with severe PTSD and emotional instability issues who has absolutely no room available to him for self-improvement or healing, and never really has. And yes, he’s also mean, and caustic, and verbally abusive to the students. He’s also a completey miserable, lonely person.

There are elements in his character arc that mirror real world experiences quite well. If nothing else, Rowling is enough of an emotional adult to recognise these kinds of things and portray something that feels authentic.

In my opinion, it’s not appropriate to whittle all this down by comparing him directly to the real world experiences of marginalized groups - at least if you are not a part of the group you are comparing him to. There have been many individuals who have compared his arc to their own personal experiences of marginalization, and that is valid. But generally speaking, comparing a white straight dude to people who are not that can often be pretty offensive. This is not a valuable way to discuss either subject.

Also, I believe that while it’s perfectly okay to not like Snape as a character, many of the people who act like Person B are carrying Harry’s childhood POV about Snape in their hearts well into their own adulthood. And if nothing else, Rowling was attempting to say something here about how our perspectives (should) grow and change as we emotionally mature.  She doesn’t have to be a good person herself to have expressed something true about the world in this instance, and since this story is a part of our popular culture, people have a right to feel whatever way they do about this story and it’s characters.

The complexity of this particular snapshot of fictionalized marginalization, and what it reveals about the human experience, cannot be reduced down to “he’s an abuser so he’s not worth anyone’s time/you are bad for liking him.”

And to be honest, I think that it reveals a lot about many of us in progressive spaces, particularly those of us who less marginalized but very loud about our values, that we refuse to engage with these complexities in leu of totally condemning him. Particularly because a lot of the elements I listed above are indeed reflected in real world examples of people who have experienced marginalization and thus had to deal with the resulting emotional damage, an mental illness, and behavior troubles, and bad decisions. Our inability to address the full scope of this may be a good reflection of how we are handling the complexity of real world examples.

Real people are not perfect angels in their victimhood. They are just humans who are victims, and we all have the capacity to be cruel and abusive in a world where we have been given cruelty and abuse. This is just a part of existing. If you cannot sympathise with that, or at least grasp it and aknowledge it and respect the people who are emotionally drawn to a character who refects that, then you may be telling on yourself to be honest.

To be honest, this is especially true if you hate Snape but just really, really love the Mauraduers. You have a right to those feelings, but if you are moralizing this and judging others for liking Snape, you’ve confessed to something about how you’ve mentally constructed your personal values in a way I don’t think you’ve fully grasped yet.

I have a hard time imagining a mindset where a story like Snape’s does not move one to empathy and vicarious grief, if I’m honest. I feel like some people really just cannot be bothered to imagine themselves in other people’s shoes, feeling what they feel and living like they live. I struggle to trust the social politics of people who show these kinds of colors, tbh.

But maybe that’s just me.

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 19

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

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CHAPTER 19: ATTACCA

Music glossary:        Attacca - "To attack at once"; used as a direction in music at the end of a movement to begin the next without pause

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(Mood music: "The Conversation" - Pearl Django)

Being mere months away from graduating lycée meant that their group of friends didn’t have as many classes together, due to their diverse individual interests and talents. However, they always made sure to make time to hang out after school before their extracurricular activities began.

And thus, Adrien, Nino, and Alya made their way to the classroom where the art club gathered to meet up with Marinette. From there, Adrien would make his way to either fencing lessons or Chinese, depending on the day of the week. Marinette would join him on days when he had Chinese (as she’d become determined to master the language ever since her uncle visited from Shanghai a few years back), Alya would go to her journalism club, and Nino would travel to his part-time internship at the local recording studio.

“–and the backlogs just keep piling up!” Alya spoke as they walked, voice full of vigor and excitement. “I’ve had to recruit yet another mod to help me keep order in the forums! Especially since the Ladyblog has started going international and we’ve had to organize servers in different languages. You wouldn’t believe how crazy it’s gotten in there recently!”

“Dang, babe,” Nino interjected. “Sounds like things are super rough for you right now.”

“Not really, more busy than anything. Especially because I have that big research article due next week, there’s just not enough hours in the day to try to read everything that goes on in there. But I have my mods report to me daily, ‘cause I always like to stay on top of everything that goes on in the chats!”

“What’s gotten everyone so riled up in the Ladyblog lately?” Adrien chimed in. “I don’t recall it being nearly this busy last year.”

The trio entered the art club’s classroom and settled down at the table where Marinette sat, getting her various sketches organized. The art teacher was quite easy going, so they didn’t have to talk in hushed whispers and could come and go as they pleased.

“Well, to be honest, it’s because of Chat Noir,” Alya replied.

Adrien tried to contain his surprise. “R-really? What– uhhh, what do people have to say about him?”

He winced inwardly. He knew he shouldn’t ask. But curiosity got the better of him today. Maybe learning the news through the filter or Alya’s paraphrasing instead of reading the negative comments firsthand would lessen the sting of what people said about him.

Marinette whipped her head around at the mention of his alter ego. “Wait, what about Chat Noir?” she inquired.

“Girl,” Alya replied, her voice filled with renewed exuberance. “You would not believe how much we’ve had to censor and moderate all the inappropriate things people have been saying!”

Adrien flinched in his seat. “Wow… do people really hate him that much?” he asked, trying to conceal the dejection in his voice.

Alya busted out into loud guffaws. “Hate?! Dude, most people don’t hate him; they LOVE him! By ‘inappropriate’ comments, I mean the kinda stuff you wouldn’t want your grandma to catch you reading! There’s a whole giant section dedicated to his new fan club!” she said as she removed her glasses so she could wipe away the tears of laughter.

“WHAT?!” Adrien squawked in confusion, his face feeling hotter than the ovens back at the bakery. “A fan club??”

Marinette burst into uncontrollable snickering. “Has it really gotten that bad?!”

Nino joined in, “Bro! Adrien, I can’t believe you haven’t heard Alya rant about these rabid fans before! They call themselves the ‘Noir Nation’, and the kind of things they’ve been writing would make adult romance authors blush like schoolgirls!”

Alya nodded, thoroughly amused. “And that’s not including all the fanfiction people have been writing.”

“Wait– the WHAT?! There’s fanfiction?!!” Marinette gaped in shock, as if she’d been hit in the face with an enormous pie. “Alya, how come I never knew about this?!”

“Why? You wanna read em? Girl, you’ll get no judgment from me. If you wanna check ‘em out for yourself, just go check under the hashtag ‘Ladynoir’.”

Marinette stammered as her arms flailed in her bewilderment, accidentally knocking her phone off the table and onto the floor, her eyes bigger and rounder than Adrien had ever seen them. “They have a ship name?!” she screeched.

“Just mind the ratings though,” Alya advised. “Some of them can get pretty steamy. You wouldn’t want someone to catch you reading those in public,” she added with a wink.

Marinette continued to sputter incoherently. “NO, I am NOT gonna read it!! It would be different if they were fictional characters, but I could never read fanfiction about real people!”

Alya raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. “Mm-hmm… Sure.”

Marinette’s hands flew to her face, trying to hide how red her entire face had gotten, and released a long squeak that resembled a hamster on helium. As shocked as Adrien was about these rather unexpected news, seeing Marinette’s over-the-top reaction brought a wide grin to his face and he busted out laughing.

He bent over to retrieve Marinette’s phone, since she was too busy being mortified to notice it had fallen to the floor. As he was about to hand it back, the screen lit up and Adrien saw the lockscreen wallpaper: it was the same photo of Ladybug and Chat Noir that he himself had saved earlier that day. He smiled, not exactly sure what to make of it, but finding it adorable that she’d liked the photo enough to set it as her lockscreen.

He tapped her shoulder, waiting for her to respond. She emerged from behind her impromptu hand shield and turned her head, then her eyes widened once again as soon as she saw what Adrien was showing her. She jolted straight up, stiff as a board, and her eyes met his, cheeks turning tomato red. He winked at her, amused about this little secret between them, and handed back her phone without a word.

Marinette accepted it with a meek-sounding, “Thanks,” looking like she wanted to explain the photo, but not able to do so unless she wanted Alya and Nino to find out that she was potentially a… ahem– “Ladynoir” shipper.

Switching the conversation to something else (which Marinette seemed to be eternally grateful for), the group chatted until it became time for them to scatter to their next destinations.

With a wave, Adrien exited the classroom and headed towards fencing practice, one of the few activities he decided to stick with despite not being forced to participate. Fencing, along with Chinese lessons, were not only enjoyable, but were also quite useful. Sadly, he didn’t have access to a piano anymore, so he wasn’t able to pursue that hobby for the time being. Hopefully later down the line, when things had settled down and he’d found his own place to live, he’d be able to finance one.

Thinking about the future had become an exciting pastime instead of an anxiety-inducing one, and it was all thanks to his friends and those he cared about. He smiled as he reached the door to the locker rooms, continuing to daydream of what was to come.

(Mood music: "Recollection 3" - Shirō Sagisu (BLEACH OST, "The Diamond Dust Rebellion")

Adrien finished getting dressed for fencing, his head still blissfully floating in the clouds. He stored his belongings into his assigned locker, shutting it with a loud clang, which echoed through the empty room.

Huh...? Empty?

He swiveled his head around, surprised that there was no one beside him. He stood up and began walking down the large room, peeking down the other locker rows looking for his classmates; but there was nobody.

Where was everyone? There’s no way that every single one of them was running late. Had his lessons been cancelled and he’d somehow missed a text message or email? He began heading back towards his locker to check his phone for any schedule changes.

Before he reached his destination, however, heavy thudding footsteps broke the eerie silence. Adrien whipped his body around to greet whoever they belonged to.

The owner of those footsteps was one of the last people Adrien expected to meet here.

“Gaspard?!”

Adrien stood agape, face to face with his old bodyguard, whom he hadn’t seen in a couple of years; not since he’d resigned and moved out of the country. Nathalie had mentioned that in his resignation letter, Gaspard said that he’d become involved in an overseas business venture involving the market of rare action figures. Nevertheless, Adrien couldn’t help but suspect that his father’s ill temper and poor treatment of their employees was the true reason for his departure.

Adrien’s first reaction was surprise and joy, and he rushed forward to greet and embrace him. However, as he approached and got a better look at the man’s face, Adrien’s mood instantly morphed into confusion and apprehension. There was something odd about his eyes.

Something wasn’t right. Why was Gaspard here? And why now?

He came to a halt about a meter before reaching him. An oppressive weight seemed to press in all around him, and he had to suppress a shiver. “Wait. Gaspard, did–” he gulped, “–did my father send you?”

His old bodyguard did not reply, but took a heavy step towards him. Adrien stepped back.

“Please… I can’t go back. I live somewhere else now, and I’m very happy there. Whatever he told you about the situation, it’s a lie.”

His bodyguard continued to approach him, his stare vacant and unsettling.

Fighting the urge to panic, he pleaded, “You don’t have to do this. If he’s offered you compensation, I can match it; it’ll just take me a bit of time. But we can work something out, right?? For old time’s sake?”

He continued walking backwards until he bumped into something firm, but it wasn’t a wall; it was another person. Before he could turn around, they grabbed him by the shoulders, detaining him and preventing him from running away.

He was about to shout for help when something sharp jabbed him on the side of the neck, injecting a cold liquid. Adrien’s eyes grew wide in terror.

Shit.

Adrien swore as he jerked away, elbowing whoever was behind him and managing to break free. Rubbing at the spot where the syringe had stabbed him, he glanced back to take a look at his other assailant, only to see... another Gaspard?

Why are there two of him??

This was wrong. Gaspard didn’t have a twin; he knew that for a fact. He’d worked for the Agrestes ever since Adrien was a toddler and was too young to even pronounce his name correctly (hence the nickname “Gorille”, which stuck around for years afterwards). Additionally, there was something uncanny, otherworldly, even, about the way these two men looked and moved.

He shook himself out of his stupor. He didn’t have time to contemplate any possible explanations. He had to get out of there fast.

He sprinted towards the exit, but only managed to travel a few paces before he lost his footing and tripped. He fell to the ground hard, almost hitting his head on a nearby bench. As he struggled to get up, he realized that his fingers and toes had already gone numb.

Not good.

Time was running out. Adrenaline coursed through him and, with a grunt, he hefted himself to his feet and scrambled towards the exit, as fast as he could despite a heavy limp. Though his heart was hammering and his legs felt like they were filled with sand, he pushed himself, concentrating on reaching the door.

After taking a few steps, however, he realized that even if he did manage to exit the locker room, the area beyond was an open courtyard. Meaning he wasn’t going to be able to reach someplace safe before getting caught. He had no choice but to transform into Chat Noir, and hopefully Plagg’s powers and strength could help him escape and find somewhere to hide.

He’d scarcely uttered the first syllable in the transformation phrase when he was tackled to the ground. A giant hand swiftly covered his mouth and Adrien felt his hands get bound together with thick zip ties behind his back. A muffled scream of writhing frustration made its way up his throat as his limbs became more and more useless by the second.

No… This can’t be happening! Please, this can’t be how it all ends!

Just when his life had finally gained a semblance of normalcy and he’d found happiness again, it would get ripped away and he would disappear without a trace, leaving everyone to wonder what had happened to him. Leaving his friends to think that Gabriel had pulled him from school and they would never see him again. Leaving Ladybug to wonder if Chat had abandoned her forever. Leaving her to fight Hawkmoth alone. Again.

He couldn’t let that happen. He thrashed and struggled as furiously as he could, fighting the feelings of overwhelming helplessness that threatened to consume him. Nearing despair, he was too distracted to notice Plagg phrasing through the wall, away from the skirmish, in search of the only person who could save him.

(Mood music: "Run" - Ludovico Einaudi)

Marinette fidgeted with her pencil, her feet wiggled and bounced under her desk. She didn’t understand; when she’d arrived at the art club, her head had been filled with inspiration and ideas that she’d been excited to draw and execute. However, at the moment, her mind was filled with noise and disquietude.

Having had enough, she excused herself to visit the restroom. Once she’d walked far enough from the classroom, she opened her purse to talk to Tikki about her current dilemma.

“It’s the same feeling as last night, Tikki! Except that would mean one of three possibilities. Option A.) It’s nothing and I’m going crazy. And— don’t give me that look, Tikki! I can see what you’re thinking and I don’t have time for your cheeky sass right now!” The kwami snickered while Marinette cleared her throat and continued, “Option B.) that Chat is here, at this school, which is impossible because his school’s on the other side of the city, that’s why he always leaves the house super early for his long commute.”

Tikki opened her mouth and looked like she was about to say something, but then didn’t (...or couldn’t?).

Marinette resumed, “Or, C.) that my–– what do I even call it? My ‘Spidey sense’??–– that it’s got a long distance mode, and Chat is all the way across Paris and he’s in trouble! But what am I supposed to do about that from here?! I wouldn’t even know where to begin looking!”

Tikki shrugged. “Follow your instincts, Marinette. There’s no harm in taking a quick look around the school, right?”

Marinette groaned. “UGH! It doesn’t make sense!! Am I going to get interrupted like this all the time from now on?” She shook her head resolutely. “No. I can’t just go off on random field trips every single time I feel a random fit of anxiety. I’m sure it’s just leftover jitters from last night. I’m supposed to call Master Fu after school anyway; he can help me figure everything out. I’m just gonna go back to class and forget about it.”

Tikki frowned, not quite convinced, but deciding not to press further.

Marinette made her way back to the classroom in a frustrated huff. But as her hand reached to turn the handle, the feelings of danger and urgency multiplied tenfold. Without a word, she sprinted away in the opposite direction, not even knowing where she was running to, only knowing she had to get there immediately.

She reached the large common area of the school downstairs. Her head whipped around, frantically searching for something, anything. In her haste, she didn’t notice a small black creature zoom into her open purse.

A few moments later, she felt a frantic tugging at her shirt from below.

“Marinette!! Over there! Check the locker room, quick!!!” Tikki whisper-screamed as she peeked outside the purse, her tone uncharacteristically frantic.

Marinette nodded, then sprinted to the locker room.

“Wait! You should transform first!” Tikki added.

No time!

“Marinette, wait!!”

Despite Tikki’s protests, Marinette raced towards the double doors, tackling them open.

Three sets of eyes landed on her as she skidded to a halt, but only one pair consumed her entire attention. She gasped in horror, hands flying to her face as she stared at what was occurring in front of her. Adrien let out a desperate, muffled scream urging her to run.

His panicked voice snapped her out of her dazed shock; but instead of running, she stood her ground, eyes darting back and forth across the area searching for something useful. The room was remarkably barren except for a lone broom a short distance away from her. She grabbed it and leaped towards the closest attacker (the one holding Adrien down), swinging it like a baseball bat.

The man didn’t even try to avoid the hit; the broomstick merely bounced off the side of his face where Marinette had hit him. She frowned in confusion, then tried hitting him again, bringing the stick down on the top of his head like an axe.

SNAP.

The end of the broom flew off, and Marinette stared in shock at the broken broomstick.

“What the hell are you?!” Marinette exclaimed, shifting her grip on the shortened wooden stub.

She pounced at the second bodyguard, bringing her weapon down in a stabbing motion; but he swatted at her hand, disarming her. She yelped in pain, leaping backwards to get some distance between them.

She was outmatched. The only strategy available was to use their own size against them. With a feint to the side, she shot at his legs for a takedown, hoping to catch him off balance. He called her bluff and shoved her backwards with his giant palm, then kneed her in the stomach.

Winded from the impact, Marinette doubled over with a gasping wheeze, fighting with all her might to keep herself from collapsing onto the ground. She forced herself upright and attacked again. With a clumsy jerk, she lunged forward, swinging wild punches at her opponent. The shots connected but his expression barely changed; it was like beating a breathing punching bag.

The bodyguard backhanded Marinette across the face. Pain shooting across her cheek, she staggered, almost losing her balance. In her daze, she watched helplessly as the man reared his arm back. There was no chance to dodge. His fist connected with her abdomen, delivering a liver shot that shut down her entire body. She crumpled to the floor as if boneless. She tried to call out Adrien’s name, but her mouth merely opened in a silent scream.

Marinette could hear Adrien’s distressed screaming, but it sounded distant, like they were underwater. The edges of her vision grew black and fuzzy, the entire room dissolving around her. She had to consciously force her lungs to inhale, but couldn’t fill them all the way, as if a boulder had been placed on top of her chest.

Faintly, she felt herself getting picked up off the ground and carried away over someone’s shoulder. Disoriented and semi-blinded, the sudden movement and rough jostling made her head spin and gave her vertigo. She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it all out.

A few moments later, they stopped moving, and she heard a door burst open. Where were they? Before she could gather her senses, she was in the air, thrown several meters away, landing with a hard thud. A sharp pain traveled down her body as she rolled into the wall across them. The shriek that tried to escape her throat emerged as a strained, shallow whine.

The man stomped out, leaving her alone in the room. “Stop…!” she rasped out, managing to tilt her neck upwards, head pounding.

The bodyguard slammed the door shut, followed by a bang and a clattering sound that could only mean he’d broken the doorknob of whatever room she was in.

Marinette's vision became more and more blurred. At the verge of losing consciousness, she fought to keep her eyes open as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

No, she couldn’t pass out! She had to save Adrien! Stay awake, Marinette, stay awake!!

She bit down on her lip hard, focusing on the sharp sting, on the swelling that was already forming around her right eye, forcing herself to feel the pain her body was in. At this moment, feeling pain was better than falling unconscious. She concentrated on her breathing, slowly regaining her senses.

She reached down to open her purse and get Tikki’s help… only to be met with emptiness. Panic settled in her gut as she realized that sometime during the skirmish, the purse had slipped off her shoulder. She sat up, slowly, so she wouldn’t risk feeling faint again from the change in positions.

She squinted, adjusting her eyesight to the darkness of the room. It seemed to be some sort of supply closet. After a failed few attempts to stand, she crawled towards the door instead, careful not to bump into the crates and shelves that filled the area.

The girl eyed the broken doorknob wearily. She was pretty proficient at lockpicking and breaking into things, but not as good at breaking out. Her only hope was that Tikki would be able to find her… if she was even nearby.

She swore to herself. Why had she rushed in and attacked two grown ass men (who, incidentally, may or may not be supernatural to boot!) instead of hiding and creating a strategy?! Now she was useless, Tikki was gone, and Adrien was surely on his way to get auctioned to the highest bidder in the criminal black market and ransomed off for an enormous sum. Great job, Marinette. Adrien’s been abducted and it’s all your fault.

Gathering all the determination she could muster, she tried to call out for help. But her voice was still too hoarse, and only a weak croak came out. She clenched her fists, grumbling irritably. Time for a different approach. Somehow, she needed to make noise.

After a brief search, she found a hard, metallic object that she could use to hammer on the door. She tested it out; it was surprisingly effective. She doubled her efforts, making as big a racket as possible. Hopefully, it would only be a matter of time before somebody heard her, let her out, and she could go find Adrien.

She couldn’t let anything else happen to another loved one. Not again.

–––––

I'M REEEAAAAALLY SORRY FOR THAT CLIFFHANGER JSHDKFJHSKDF ᕕ(╯°д°)ᕗ  I tried splitting up the sections differently but it didn't really flow as well.

But the next chapter is almost done, so I'll have it ready by next weekend!!

[kaiwritess]

hii love! i think i have an emergency request? or idk really lol kill me anywaays, what would Daichi, Kuroo, Bokuto and Sugawara do if they found little notes in their so's phone/phonecase/wallet which are telling them not to eat, starve themselves and stuff like that? (1/4)

TW: EATING DISORDERS; CONTINUE WITH CAUTION

+ idk, i just feel my mindset going back to these kinda things and i know its bad but at the same time i dont want to stop, because i feel like i am in control and i dont want others to butt in and tell me to eat and stay fat, but then again, i would love to hear it from someone so that i would know that someone cares about me (2/4)

+ but i lowkey know that no one actually cares about me and im not important to anyone, so all i do is looking at myself in the mirror and crying and seeking comfort from fictional characters who would probably think that i am ugly and fat and hate me too oops🤷‍♀️ (3/4)

+ and i am sorry for dumping all of this on you, i promise i dont want to make you feel sorry for me or anything, it just came out? finally i could actually send it to someone instead of writing it into my journal, it lowkey made me feel better. okay so, if this triggers you, then please, feel free to ignore me, i know what this shit feels like, and the last thing i want to do is make you feel bad, seriously. and i am also sorry if seemed to be rude, i swear i know my manners, just not right now:(

author’s note: okay first things first, you don’t ever need to apologize for venting! i’m honored that you’re opening up to me, and it truly means a lot. i’m sorry this took some time to write, and in the end, this was more like how the guys would react, and less of what they would do, if that makes any sense. i’m certain that all the hq characters would aid you with recovery. and i know we don’t know each other in real life, but i wanted to let you know how proud i am of you for staying so strong. times get rough, and the fact that you’re staying strong is amazing. i love u so much, and thank you again for opening up.

S/O Has Harmful Notes in Their Belongings

Daichi Sawamura, Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Kotarou, and Sugawara Koushi

trigger warning: eating disorders

[DAICHI SAWAMURA]

Daichi was always wary about your behavior. He picked up the small hints you unintentionally left behind, like how you always found an excuse to skip a meal.

His worries significantly increased when he began to notice the small notes in your wallet. Sure, there was a possibility that it could’ve been a grocery list, but every time you opened your wallet and saw the note, he saw how sad your eyes got.

He found out about the whole thing after he got a hold of your wallet. You dropped it while walking, and his curiosity got the best of him. As soon as he read what was on the piece of paper, his heart plummeted.

Daichi tries to avoid confrontation, but in circumstances like this, it seems like confrontation is the only option. Although he tries to bring it up calmly, Daichi finds himself having a difficult time forming words. What could he say to make you feel better? How can he help you?

“What have you been hiding? These notes... how long have you been carrying them?” his voice cracks.

From then on, Daichi will be monitoring every meal, making sure you’re getting enough nutrients. Despite all his actions, he can’t help but feel so helpless...

[KUROO TETSUROU]

Like Daichi, Kuroo was always concerned about your appetite. It didn’t help how you always avoided restaurant dates or anything that had to do with food for that matter.

Nevertheless, he brushed it off as you having a small stomach, which is something understandable as Kenma also barely has an appetite.

One day as you were walking to the grocery store, Kuroo noticed that you were holding a piece of paper. When he questioned you about it, you said it was a “to-do list for school”.

Kuroo saw through your lies easily (lying to him is one of the hardest things to do in the world), and immediately called you out on it. “You’re lying to me, aren’t you. Let me see it,” he said firmly, taking the note out of your hands. He read over the words at least ten times, each time beating himself up for brushing off the red flags you left behind.

Oh man, this dude is going to feel so guilty. He’ll probably blame himself for not being able to help you when the signs were glaringly obvious. By now, you’re crying, angry about how he found out.

All Kuroo can think of is helping you, and that’s it. Nothing else. He pulls you in for a tight embrace, unable to stand how you were dealing with alone. He says softly in your ear, “I’m so, so sorry for not noticing before. Please let me help you.”

[BOKUTO KOTAROU]

It’s no secret that Bokuto can be utterly oblivious sometimes. However, through Akaashi’s influence, he found himself improving on picking up important signs.

At first, Bokuto didn’t think much of your “unusual habits”. There were many times where you checked your phone before eating something, but hey, doesn’t everyone do that?

It became a routine. Before every meal, you checked your phone, turning the screen away from everyone else as if you were hiding something.

He found out what you were hiding in the middle of a coffee date. Bokuto was sitting beside you, trying his best to hold his tongue before saying or doing something stupid. You checked your phone as usual, but this time, Bokuto’s overwhelming curiosity made him act without thinking.

“Hey, what’s on your phone?” he asked, leaning towards you. Before you were able to close the notes app, he caught a glimpse of one, very concerning phrase: “Don’t eat a lot, or you’ll regret it.”

Everything clicked for him; all the times you checked your phone before every meal, how you had an unusually small appetite, etc..

For the first time, Bokuto is speechless. His eyes are wide and his mouth was slightly agape. You didn’t know what to say, nor could you think of an excuse for what was on your notes. Before you could even stammer out a syllable, Bokuto looked at you dead in the eyes with a look of pain, and whispered, “Why?”

[SUGAWARA KOUSHI]

Sugawara isn’t a stranger to the red flags of eating disorders. His incredibly perceptive nature allows him to notice the signs you leave behind, like how you barely eat any of the meals he cooks.

His concerns were confirmed after finding about your disorder unintentionally. Sugawara was helping you clean up your room when he discovered a little note that escaped from your bag. After reading the words you wrote, he dropped the note with various intense emotions.

Immediately confronts you about it. “[Y/N], can we talk?”// “What’s this?” he shows you the note with trembling hands.

You knew you were unable to make up a lie, and so you confessed about everything that was going on. The tears kept flowing, and you were so ashamed that Sugawara found out. You knew how much it hurt him.

After you told him everything, he started crying as well. He’s so thankful you told him, but at the same time, Sugawara felt so... scared. He hated how you did this to yourself, yet Sugawara doesn’t know how to help you recover. There was no promise that you wouldn’t do it again in the future as well.

Dropping to your knees, you let out the sobs you tried to hold back. You thought he would be mad, so you were surprised when his thumb wiped your tears away.

“I promise I’ll help you through this. You will not be alone, okay? So please... please let me into your heart.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thanks for reading!

- Kai

[hamliet]

Hi it's sad anon again who hates Tros, 100 and GOT's endings and now just hate the execution of AOT's ending. :) The only thing I liked was Falbi and Levi rest were just so disappointing. This was my last hope to have a better ending but no. In the end I feel like I am the one who is a fool used to look up to these writers. I feel so hopeless being a writer now because all of these authors so is care about rushed endings not the story the built up and how fans despise when I criticize the end.

2/ I am just going to stop consuming media as whole because nobody cares about art. Its a time waste. Sorry if I am being negative. Twitter is hell and everybody talks that I have no story reading skills.

First of all, I’m sorry you are in pain, and I am sorry you are getting attacked with ableist attacks.

I suggest reading stories that have already ended so you can prepare yourself. Most series’ endings are met with disappointment even if they are later reevaluated (Monster, for example, was met with a lot of disappointment and yet it is imo the absolutely perfect, top tier ending). That’s one of the boons and drawbacks of serial fiction: it enables engagement, which is great, but also leads to fans imagining so many things and investing so much emotional energy into various theories and preferences that it is natural they will be upset when their expectations are not met, even if the ending actually fits the story. Whatever attracts people to a story differs, so it will never please everyone.

I’ve said I really liked the ending and the more I read it the more I find it beautiful, but I can’t tell you you should like it and I don’t think it’s perfect.

I prefer characters and themes, so was pleased; others very much like worldbuilding and plot, and so were not. That’s fine. Imo, the flaws of the ending have been flaws throughout the series: AoT has always had iffy worldbuilding, overly-convoluted/convenient plot twists (Fritz/Reiss, Reiner in Shiganshina, etc) and bad pacing that is either too rushed (haha pie?) or too slow (Marlay Arc). But its strengths have always been its themes and characters. Eren was never OOC--yes, we all assumed he was a hero, but his goals never really changed and his flaws never did, either. The dude never had good plans.

The one place this was weakly executed imo was Historia, and if she is your favorite (she was mine after Armin up until this final arc), that is completely valid for people not to be satisfied with that, or to be triggered by the terrible context of her arc. Or just not to like the arcs because of preferences, because even what attracts us to the themes/characters can be different and thereby lead to one being satisfied and one not.

Anyways, it’s fine to feel whatever you want, but this is why I found it highly satisfying.

I will caution that I don’t think it is fair to say the author doesn’t care. Isayama has been clear about Eren’s direction and Mikasa being the center of the story (he actually said this, so it baffled me people didn’t get it) since like, 2013 at the very latest (look at past interviews). He’s stated Mikasa is the center of the story and spoken about Eren taking a dark turn since then, too. I don’t think there’s any evidence this ending was not what he planned; just the journey was  flawed, but not unusually so.

[practicalmagicintuitions]

To clarify, I am not a NV stan, I am not NV, I am not HC, I am pissed with HC for this whole thing, I am pro vaccine, I am vaccinated and not into conspiracy theories. However there are some things that really get to me:

- they broke COVID protocol. No they didn't. I have friends (definitely not wealthy) who have travelled to/from Europe into USA and viceversa and they followed procedure and were careful and did nothing wrong. Of course, wealthier people have more opportunities than others, but that's true across the board, not just in with COVID. And I see other celebs who have done MUCH worse than that.... hopping around yachts and all that. HC stayed cooped up in the English countryside, always wore a mask and still does and she was in LA.

- he went to Florida to party and lied about working. No, he went to Florida to shoot his MT stuff and to meet with her manager DG - she is headquartered there which is also probably why he as a house there. Chances are he went to LA as well in his private jet to do meetings and such. and in his downtime, just like every other human he went out for some coffee and drinks. Florida has lax rules, true, but I am 1000000000% certain he, she and his brother and family are all vaccinated, and therefore very very veeeeery unlikely to get sick or transmit the disease.

- all the photoshop/body double drama: have not heard it in a while thank God, but that's literally delusional to believe that.

- Natalie is actively doing all the work accepting/rejecting tags and even creating fake accounts to abuse her bullies. She surely has a keen eye on the whole thing, but it's his team managing her socials and I am fairly sure they are paying some people to run stan accounts for her + she must have some friends who are helping her out. i know other celebs have been caught anon'ing on lipstick alley and such so i am not saying definitely not, but definitely unlikely, no matter how uncool she is.

- she lied about her job. no she didn't. her linkedin does say she is a vp. not an executive director, but a vp she is (yes there is a rumor she has been suspended because of abusing staff, which would explain a lot). how she advanced in her career is a legitimate question, because of her escort website and her job at weinstein and frankly the fact she grew up in a broken home with a toxic af dad who probably taught her she is not loved and to get ahead you gotta use your body. so really, even if she might be enjoying mr cavill's physical attentions, i do not and will never envy her.

- dany is a demon = #freehenrycavill. henry is no britney spears. dany seems to suck some serious a** at her job and she is a body builder in a cult of bodybuilders and my personal opinion and that of many is that it is a very bad career choice for henry who has so much more going for him than being the next rock/cena/arnie. but he chose that, willingly. he has a strong emotional support system around him with all the brothers and the family etc (as opposed to say a tom cruise). but... he also has a massive eating disorder-like issue and being a bodybuilder only fuels body dysmorphia & co. so yes he is in 'danger' and DG is not good news at all, but he is an adult, a millionaire, a powerful actor and has free will and if anything the only reason why i take the time to write this is in the hope that some of this gets to him via the voices of many many fans and it helps him wake up. chances of that happening: 0.1%.

- random rant: it always creeped me out that henry says he doesn't like to read fiction and non fiction and sticks to fantasy because the other two genres make his heart hurt too much... but then he is also the staunchest lover of everything WAR... like that's a dangerous and contradictory mix dude.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

1. Not true. I tried to find but tumblr is so weird so I cannot: I had a poat about the official lockdown timeline of the UK. Only essential traveling were allowed at that time when she presumably entered into the UK. And if they haven’t broke protocol why this was the only topic he hadn’t touched in his FO post (it was before blackface). If you are falsely accused of such a thing publicly on forums, mocked because of it and you are mot guilty of it, I think you want to clear the air as soon as you can. But he remained silent. Instead of he bullsh*tted so many things, protected DG, but never adressed this. This makes me obvious they are guilty of it because otherwise we se he has mo problem to speak up if something bothers him.

2. I think the FL thing more like sarcasm but everything he did as work could have been done in the UK or via zoom. And since he emphasized he is there for work I think the mocking understandable especially after point one above.

3. “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

Agree. Truth is no body double or blackmail or anything. Maybe they were set up, this is not a crime but the trut is they are together whatever is this and there is no 2-3 NV impersonators. Just her and him.

4.I am not sure about that hia team is managing her SM but I can see they are paying stans. Like the one whose ask was accepted at the WitcherCon after NV has accepted tags from her for a month and this someone also friends with GG and the 🤡 No suspicious at all… (I don’t believe in coincidences so must be 💵)

5. I gave up to understand what is her title, work, how she got it and how hasn’t shw fired yet but what I know they pushed her as a WAY more important someone as she is in irl. And I consider this as a lie. Not from her but from his team because those articles were paid by them

6. Agree with his completely

7. fantasy is fiction , but I get the impression he doesn’t really read. I think he should have some non fiction and some classics, from authors who are not writing in english etc, so something that is not fantasy

Your welcome, sorry for the late answer

[shinahbee]

Fall favorites 2022!

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GREETINGS

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October 30th/2022

Happy Halloween!

It’s been like 4 months since the last update.lol. As you can tell I was busy with life. Specifically work and preparing to possibly open my etsy store soon.

I have been testing out different prints to sell and stickers, also thinking about making some clay pins. I have seen some videos on sellers making them and I have all the tools so why not right?

I’ll let you guys know more as it gets closer to opening date. I also have not been reading many webtoons and that’s kind of why the reviews haven’t been monthly.lol. I have to say I probably reached the peak of reading good webtoons now and I just don’t find a lot of new stories that interesting. But I will try to compile at least a couple to talk about and feature them when I can.

Anyways, you’re not here to listen to me ramble about my life so let’s get to it.

                                          Happy reading!

Sheena

Please suggest me some dramas to watch...I’m just watching stranger things and i’ll review that after I’m done.

Recap:

I’m just going to put up the ongoing list only. I also eliminated some titles because they are now completed or I dropped them for now

Ongoing  

Liveta (hiatus)

Pearl boy

Semantic error

The foul (hiatus)

Secret relationships

Kings Maker (S2)

One night mate (hiatus)

Night fragments (hiatus)

The pizza delivery man and the gold palace

Dangerous convenient store

Updates on ongoing titles:

I think the recap section is going to be the longest this update...lol. Just a heads up Spoilers are ahead so if you don’t want to be spoiled ...don’t read it.

You may have noticed some of the ongoing ones are now finished. It was not worth mentioning. Turn off the camera, like how I figured jihoon ended up with yujin, of course...whatever choosing the second lead was never a thing in the first place so why do I bother....

I honestly don’t remember anything about semantic error anymore, it’s been so long since I last read it, I’ll have to get back on that train.

Secret relationships:

Oh boy...the absolute landmine, every person is triggered every Monday by any type of update, lmao it’s honestly so funny to see people defend a 2D character like they are best friends and just covering for their mistakes and making up things to excuse their actions...I’m like, dude if this was your actual friend you would call them out on their shit, you would end your friendship with them if they did something stupid. Needless to say this is all fiction...don’t be rude to other people just cause you have different opinions.

Let me just say the last few updates, if it’s not a flash back it’s a really confusing chapter. I have said this before and I’ll say it again, the plot line at this point is fan service up until now the story had been 75% flashbacks and maybe less than 25% story...it was not until chapter 110 that finally something happened that moves the story forward..Meaning that Daon was finally able to let go of jaemin and go their separate ways, whatever happened in the last 10 years was draining and heavy on both parties, they kept this whole weird relationship going on as more a security sense rather than anything else, even if it was the biggest betrayal a person can commit. It was really hard to read because it is like a 10 year relationship break up where you don’t want to let go because it’s familiar and at the same time you need to choose yourself and think about what you want and just not care. This is the hardest thing people can go through at the time but let me just tell you after it’s all done and time goes by...it will be just fine...just know that and move forward and things will work out!

Maybe I’m giving that author too much credit but that chapter was daon’s defining moment, and I was really happy for him, finally he was able to let go and chase after his own happiness, not saying it has to be Sunghyeon...but just in general being free from something that isn’t working.

But speaking of Sunghyeon...well a picture is worth a thousand words right? After he runs off from jaemin, he went running straight into a certain person’s arms.

Following up to the next chapter 111, Daon talked about how he was ready to start something new and he wants to do that with sunghyeon, so asked for a chance to be with him. I cannot tell you how long I have waited for this from them, my sungda fangirl heart was screaming. I have to say sunghyeon’s reaction was very real and understanding especially since he didn’t know what had happened between him and jaemin and didn’t really know how to react, most people would expect him to just kiss him right there and then...which Korean dramas love to portray as romantic, but he didn’t and instead was hesitating a bit since he was contemplating about his relationship with daon at this point and whether or not he trusts him since in a way daon did betray his trust more than a few times, but in the end he accepted him. This makes him feel anxious and daon reassures him by holding his hand while they are in a taxi, signifying that he wasn’t going anywhere I guess.

On that note some stupid comments were made by people who clearly are just dumb and don’t realize that there are something called “trains” in Korea and not everyone drives cause they were all salty about sunghyeon not for his character but because he does not having a car and therefore he’s poor why would you choose him...I’m like I don’t know what money you are making to afford one especially if you are an average salary office worker...

If this all you can come up with...educate yourself please. Haters be hating on really dumb things. I mean doesn’t everyone deserve to be with someone who encourages them rather than someone who disregards the person’s feelings and emotional well being?

Also the guy waited for Daon in the rain.  He stood in the pouring rain with Daon until he was able to collect himself and leave. Get yourself a man who will do that cause that is the kind of partner that will stand by you though hard times, and Daon was at his lowest point, he essentially lost a relationship he worked so hard to maintain and now is unsure about this new relationship.

I’m saying “unsure” meaning that he has never been in a proper relationship involving both parties being mutually interested. So he does not know how this is going to go.

But I’m so glad Sunghyeon stood with him and held him in that moment.

After wards, they went to Sunghyeon’s place and washed up...not together..I presume. And Sunghyeon was patching up Daon’s feet because he ran out of jaemin’s place without his shoes...he just needed to go. During this time there was so much sexual tension between the two and Daon started giving some “bed room” eyes that does not go unnoticed by Sunghyeon and they started to make out...believe me when I say that I stopped breathing for a sec...lol.

Now saying this there are people who believe that it would not be right to engage into sexual activity as Daon is emotionally vulnerable, but from the way he looked at him..it looked like he was waiting for something to happen, his lips where parted a little and cheeks flushed and eyes locked onto sunghyeon, I don’t know...looked like he wanted a kiss. So there is nothing wrong with wanting to touch the person you love, he is aware of what’s going on and does not reject it so we should just let it be and stop being salty just ‘cause your pairing is not the end game. But I guess we will see what happens in the next chapter....I’m happy clearly.

Pearl boy:

Guess who’s back...

Can I just say that season 3 is here and the art just keeps getting better, the creator is working real hard on the art and it really shows...she is so talented.

I think where we left off was when dooshik had come back from his ex’s funeral and had overheard some dudes in a van talk about kidnapping jooha, these men were actually pilwon’s henchman. It’s been a while since I wrote his name lol, I almost wrote pinworm again.

From the first few chapters you can tell that dooshik was being anxious but not really vocalizing it to jooha which made him frustrated since he was going to start working at a sushi restaurant he applied for when they were out on a date. There were snippets of dooshik’s past and you got to see the glimpses of what he went through during his time in jail and the host club. There was a line that he said that was intriguing, “I can’t seem to get rid of this smell” and it was from the time where he was in jail presuming that he had blood on his hands from getting into fights and even after starting anew at the host club he would still encounter that “smell” and saying that he was can never get rid of it no matter how many times he tried to cover it. I’m not really sure if this is what he meant, but to me that phrase just means you can never forgot where you come from, you can’t cover up the things you’ve done. I still don’t know what happened and how he ended up in prison back then, maybe when it is revealed then I’ll figure it out.

Also a lot of new characters were introduced, I really like sunghyun, I think he could be a good ally for dooshik but it does not look like their relationship is that great and he does not seem to trust dooshik. I don’t know why...but some part of me would really enjoy the thought that he secretly had a crush on dooshik...lol. I don’t know why maybe because I know jooha and dooshik’s love is so strong that it seems impenetrable so I don’t mind it if it were true.

I think the thing I liked the most is the progression of dooshik and jooha’s relationship, I mean yes they were cute together before but they are 10x more romantic and in deeper sense, they trust each other even if they can’t communicate their feelings well. Just seeing jooha look at the picture of them together and looking all smitten is really rewarding after all the things he went through, he was getting the opportunity to build his future together with dooshik and that made him excited.

Who wouldn’t get excited look at dat face yall....he’s so fine...

Lol anyways, I hope the English translations will come out soon cause I don’t fully understand from just summaries and raw pictures. I definitely know something bad is about to happen because in the chapter that described how dooshik and sunghyun met , sunghyun had asked what does he want in exchange for giving him Intel, and dooshik just said he wanted jooha to be safe

And right after that a bunch of foreshadowing of events yet to come was shown, dooshik was bleeding and on a stretcher with a oxygen mask attached clearly being sent to the hospital and jooha looked like he was trying to run to him and screaming while looking wrecked, while there are faint beeping sounds of the heart monitor in the background, that whole segment I can visually see it happening and I was not ready for it. So get ready for me to cry a river when that happens.

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Welcome to some spicy reads (21+)

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Killer Crush:

Breaking News: Professional killer Joo Tae Man fell in love with Korea's favorite actor, Kang Da Hyuk! Professional killer Joo Tae-man has endured extreme physical training, mental education, and cruel torture-- but somehow easily falls apart to Kang Da-hyuk's kindness...?

Joo Tae Man who has trained for years as a professional killer thought “is this love?”

What should I do at times like this?”

I think part of my not reading more BL manhwa is because of shitty summaries like this

So this story starts off with a group of thugs interrogating this man for information and the gang leader gets a call saying that the target is with them and the leader was baffled because the target was right here tied up. Turns out the target had killed the guy guarding him and turns out to a hired hitman. The hitman’s name is joo tae man, and he is like a phantom assassin that leaves no traces of his victims and is what these thugs have been having trouble dealing with lately.

Another person named kang dahuyk is Koreas’ favorite actor who wanted to try out a different role as a killer and was not able play the role perfectly, due to his face  being too pretty.lol.

Not wanting to be boxed in as a one trick pony he finds ways to improve his acting ability including following tae man who had the look of a serial killer to his part time job as a convenience store part timer only to learn the ways of getting into character. in the store an old drunk man was harassing tae man at the counter and his thoughts of killing him is so funny...he wanted to break his spine just to get him to shut up.lol. but of course that would blow his cover

But then da hyuk said that he’d pay for the old man just so he wouldn’t start something. He then bought a coffee and gave it to tae man saying it was for him and that made taeman’s stone cold heart go crazy...lol. The boy fell in love for the first time in his 34 years of existence..oh boy

Dahyuk had been on his mind since that day and it turns out that he had a boss and co-worker that were also killers and they can sense that something is off about taeman and they were finding ways to torture the crap out of him just to purge the romantic feelings out...lol. Out demon!

Dahyuk became interested in taeman and started to show up at the convenient store often, there was a confirmation between taeman and the gang leader from chapter 1, the gang leader had suspected the killer was nearby and could possibly be taeman so he decided to confront him.

Dahyuk tried to save taeman and almost ended up getting hit in the process. This was what initiated them to actually talk to each other and they found that they enjoyed each other’s company and dahyuk gave him his number, his colleague was telling him to turn him down by being rude on the phone, instead they made plans to have a date in the “mountains” which is what dahyuk wanted in the first place, he wanted to observe taeman to improve his acting skills.

During their trip together, taeman did everything to be a turn off to dahyuk trying to make him seem like the worst person, but ended up with dahyuk slipping and hurting his leg and they both were almost getting attacked by boars. One of the boars was going to kill dahyuk but taeman jumps in and kills it, thinking that he exposed himself and that dahyuk was disgusted by him he apologizes. Dahyuk was in fact convinced that he had served in the Special Forces and that’s why he knew so much about hunting and was just glad that he’s not hurt.

Things progressed well after and taeman started to accept the fact that he likes taeman and found other ways to get involved with him, the gangster in chapter one was targeting dahyuk for some reason and that made taeman more inclined to be involved. His friend however...has major issues and didn’t like the fact that taeman and dahyuk may like each other and he his love interest (boss man) didn’t give a crap about him. He tried to mess up their relationship by pretending him and taeman were dating, this made dahyuk back off a couples days from contacting taeman, until the boy does not care anymore and just wants to see him. Taeman felt the same and said that he won’t let this affect his work even if he was interested in another person, so they ran to meet up with each other and some cute events happen...

You’ll need to read it to find out cause i’ll just stop here. This was a really interesting read, I mean I can actually see this getting an anime adaptation because it’s just light hearted comedy and it has a good mixture of romantic scenes between two awkward people and comedic scenes in how they deal with their emotions. I highly recommend this if you want something fun to read. You can read this on Lezhin comics.

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Trash segment (21+)

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a.k.a the part of the series where I shit on your favorite manhwa/manga/webtoon etc. Joking but not really, you have been warned.

This is the new section where you’re going to find titles that I dropped and the reasons why I discontinued the series all together, fair warning if you triggered by people criticizing your favorite series then you may want to skip this section all together. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not every series that is “popular” or well liked by others will be like by all...therefore if there is content that makes a person uncomfortable enough to stop the series, that is on them and please don’t judge them for their morals.

So to recap, the series that I mentioned dropping so far are

Love or Hate

Yours to claim

Wistful summer

Anti-p.t.

The sound of fire

Kiss damnation

Cherry blossoms after the winter

Chasing Mr. CEO

Who’s a sweet cheater?

Another sequence

Thinking of dropping Love is a fantasy...lol. This goes to show you that the author only knows how to write certain type of stories, the situations between the adults in here seems more like teenagers dealing with puberty rather than adults dealing with these situations. So I’ve become uninterested at this point.

Currently watching chainsaw man so i’ll let you know how that goes. Liking it so far.

No music suggestions this month, please recommend me some!

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Ending note:

Hello,

You have reached the end, what do you think? Sorry for the one review really but like I’ve said nothing has been catching my attention as of late due to me being busy with work and side projects. Hope fully I can go back to writing monthly again.

I will update about my shop once that is up and running, and I will work on more art soon, I have uploaded a few prints that will be available for purchasing, if you have any ideas of prints you would want to see please let me know in the comments!

Okay, bye for now.

Take care

sheena

[glitxhwayventeen]

Ghostin

Seungkwan: Chapter 4 (One Last Time)

Characters: Seungkwan x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst (a shit ton of sadness honestly), semi-unrequited love, death mentions, kidnapping mentions, runaway mates, family fighting, implied violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Sorry it’s a bit short, but it’s because I had to put this into so many different perspectives. The next chapter will be an explanation of what the fuck is actually happening.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Tag list- @studioreader @imtotallydef

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀

Ghostin Master List

Chapter 4: One Last Time

You weren’t sure how you found yourself here to be completely honest. You remembered falling asleep at the top of a tree for safety one minute and the next, you were being forcibly drug down by your hair. It woke you up from a dead rest. Now, you were being roughly slug around the forest floor to some unknown destination.

You weren’t even sure who it was because the grip he had on the base of your scalp was too tight for you to turn around. You knew it wasn’t a female as the hand was far too big and far too rough to be anything feminine. You also knew the man wasn’t alone. There were three other wolves with him, except they were actually shifted to look like wolves. The man wasn’t.

You could hear them all growling and snarling at each other, you assumed they were using their pack telepathy with each other so you wouldn’t hear what was doing on. It scared you, they weren’t particularly aiming any of their sneers at you, it didn’t seem like the actual men in their wolf forms even wanted to hurt you, but you knew their conversations couldn’t be about anything good. You just had a gut feeling that you didn’t like where it was going…

Hurry up! You know the deal: if she’s not back before sunrise it’s off. And he already upheld his end. One of the wolves sneered to the others, trying to get them to pick up their pace.

I’m trying, but you try dealing with her. She’s squirming like a fucking worm. The one in his human form rolled his eyes as he used his pack telepathy to speak to his brothers.

No shit Sherlock you’re pulling her by the hair. She’s probably uncomfortable. There was a thousand ways we could’ve handled this yet you decided to do it this way. The first wolf chirped in.

Do you SERIOUSLY think she would’ve came with us willingly? Everything we’ve been told about this girl is enough to know that she does whatever the fuck she wants when she wants. This is the only way to deal with her. The man growled at the other men, causing you to jump in his hold at the sudden noise.

Dude quit it! I know you’re an asshole you little fucker but scaring her is completely unnecessary. The quietest wolf, the third one, declared.

Fuck off! I said I’d do this. I never said I’d do it your way! The human of the group chuckled.

You’re a fucking asshole man! She’s just a little girl! The second wolf exclaimed with a huff.

Yeah yeah whatever. Let’s just get this over with so I can go back to bed. I don’t have all day! The man jerked you forward slightly as you picked up his speed.

The others followed behind him, not wanting to piss the strongest amongst them off. But truth be told, he was always pissed off. That’s what worried them.

-

The man lowly growled loud enough to the others to make your eyes all but pop out of your head in fear. You thought it was at you so you tried to move around as little as possible so the little kidnapping scene wouldn’t be worse, even though not moving as much meant feeling much more pain.

It seemed to make your human captor happy, though you heard a small whimper come from one of the others. You weren’t sure why or which one. You were just sure you absolutely had to get away before they did whatever it was that they planned to do to/with you. You just didn’t know how.

It’s not that you were helpless, You were just a small girl. Sure you were a wolf, but four against one wasn’t exactly the best odds and you didn’t know what they planned on doing with you. Seungkwan had told you horror stories about mate stealers and what they did to their prey. You refused to let that be you. You refused to let anyone take you and you refused to be with anyone other than your loving mate.

But as the thought passed through your head, a tight pang rung through your heart. You missed Seungkwan. You missed his rounded face, you missed his sparkly eyes, you missed his compassion and love. You missed HIM.

Panic ran throughout your body at the possibility of never seeing him again. What IF you never saw him again? What would you do? Your entire being longed for him. You hadn’t seen him in so long, it was painful to even think of his delicate face.

You heard the man chuckle and it caused you to tense up. Why was he laughing all of a sudden? They already had you in their grip, did they really have to taunt you and terrorize you too? You couldn’t phase, you had to be standing still and able to focus to do that. You couldn’t try to contact your mate, your spell had cut off most of your connection to him. You couldn’t even contact his pack because until your mating bond was complete, you weren’t technically part of their pack. In your mind, you were completely royally fucked.

And all you could think about was Seungkwan. You knew it hurt him that you left. But what else were you supposed to do? Everyone was clearly so upset with your for being there, you couldn’t stay. It wasn’t fair to them to have to deal with you and it wasn’t fair for him to constantly have to defend you. You did what you had to do.

But that doesn’t mean tears weren’t religiously flowing down your face at this point. No matter what you said or how many times you tried to forget, you still loved him. He was your mate. How could you not? So being away from him was hard.

And now, thinking of the last words you had said to him possibly being the last ones you’d ever actually said to him, you wished you could take it back. You wished you could take it all back. You should’ve told him you loved him more. You should’ve held his hand more. You should’ve loved him better. Why did you push him away when he was only trying to be your support system?

You didn’t think he could feel you anymore. He hadn’t heard from you in so long probably already thought you were dead, which meant dollars to donuts, HE already was dying. You didn’t want him to die. The thought made new tears prick at the side of your eyes that you tried to hold back so you wouldn’t show the kidnappers any weakness.

You wanted to go home. You wanted to lay in bed next to your mate and forget everything else in the world. You wanted nothing else to matter but him. You knew you must’ve been close to your end now. You just wanted to see him One Last Time. You knew no one even knew that you were in trouble, and so you also knew that no one was coming to your rescue.

Little did you know, your rescuer wasn’t too far behind you…

-

He dashed through the forest floor, following the sudden pounding of his heart to find you. He couldn’t smell you, he couldn’t sense you. But he knew that you were in danger. He knew you thought you were going to die. And even though the past week had made him WANT to die, he would NEVER give up if you were in trouble or needed him.

He knew the second he felt dizzy and like the air had gotten knocked out of his lungs that you were in a life or death situation. He wasn’t about to let something happen to you. He dashed out of the house before he even finished his breakfast, leaving it on the table to sit and get cold near his brothers. He didn’t even tell them where he was going or why he was going there. He just left.

He knew all he had to do was follow his heart and his pains to you and he’d be able to find you. His feet were killing him and were probably completely bloody from the cuts he could feel slicing through his skin every now and then, but he didn’t care. This was his chance, possibly his last chance to see you again.

He’d do whatever it took to protect you, even if it meant he wouldn’t make it out. He’d still do whatever it took to get you to safety. He’d find you and save you. He didn’t care if he would die in order to protect you. He just had to save you.

(Updated 9/30)

[takaraphoenix]

Sally Jackson choice safety over stability in terms of how she'd take care of her child. Both her and Percy faced years abuse by the hands of one man. Does this make her a good mother who was in over her head or an unprepared one making an impulsive decision?

You found the one hot take even I haven’t dared say aloud yet, because I think it may just be my most unpopular opinion in this fandom. One thing everyone in this fandom seems to agree on is the “universal truth” that Sally Jackson is the best mother in the history of fictional mothers. So, here’s my hot take:

Sally Jackson is not that perfect mother the fandom pretends she is.

Sally during the series? Presented as a loving and good mother. But to get to that point? Pre-series Sally is not written as a good mom; she’s written as a plot-device with the things the author needs to happen in mind and not the motivation of a good mother who prioritizes her child’s happiness and safety in mind.

And I’ll back that claim up with three ways in which Sally has failed Percy as a mother. Not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

But before we get into that, I’d like to switch what you said first. Sally Jackson chose stability over safety. Sally chose the stability of keeping her child at her side over said child’s safety. She made an inherently selfish decision that was not with her child’s best interest and overall safety in mind.

Now, the first - and most obvious one - is Smelly Gabe.

And before I can elaborate on that, I need to clarify one very important thing here, before anyone goes “don’t blame the victim!” on me: Sally Jackson is not a victim; she’s a fictional character. Fictional characters can be written as victims, but they are not autonomous people who make their own choices; their choices are very deliberately made by their author for them. And I want to look at the choices that went into writing her this way, writing her story this way.

Real abuse victims get stuck in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons and they don’t get out of them for equally various reasons. Most of the time, it’s something like “he was so sweet and kind at first, but by the time he showed his real face, it was too late” (and, as a note to that; Percy describes Gabe as having been nice to them for a total of thirty seconds before showing his real face. Now while that is, of course, and exaggeration, it still goes to say that Gabe was pretty much upfront about what kind of person he was).

I’ve never heard one start with “he was the most disgusting, grossest man I could possibly find”. Sally Jackson chose this man. Not just in the way one picks a partner. She went out there and chose the stinkiest, grossest man.

It was a deliberate choice on Riordan’s part to have Sally choose an abusive relationship over sending her son away for his own safety. And this decision did not keep Percy safe; Percy Jackson was abused in his own home, by a horribly stinking man, for six years of his life. That’s not keeping your child safe.

The choice was not made to keep Percy safe; the choice was made to keep Percy with Sally. It was inherently selfishly motivated; she didn’t want to send him away, she wanted to keep him with her.

Sally loves Percy, she loves him dearly and fiercely, I’m not arguing that. But that love led to her not wanting to let go of him. And sometimes, parenting means making tough choices, sometimes loving someone means you have to make a tough decision.

In this case, the “tough decision” is presented as Sally bravely putting up with six years of abuse at Gabe’s hand. That’s the narrative chosen by the author.

But the actual “tough decision” would have been to send Percy to Camp Half-Blood, where he would have been safe. That’s the tough choice a mother would have had to make to keep her child safe.

That’s the tough choice the parents of most of the year-rounders have made. Mister Beauregard sent his daughter all the way from Paris to New York to give her this safety. The distance alone guaranteeing he wouldn’t see her for years potentially - because flying between New York and Paris is not necessarily easily affordable for everyone. Sally’s option was to send Percy to a camp that’s literally one and a half hours away. She could have still seen him, he could have easily visited her.

But her solution was to mask Percy’s scent by marrying a stinking, gross, abusive man.

Let me just stretch once more: Sally’s choice did not keep Percy safe. Sally’s choice made their home unsafe. It brought the danger and pain into their home. It may have moderately protected Percy from monsters - until The Lightning Thief kicked in - but it did not keep Percy actually safe, because it put him into a different kind of danger and through a different kind of pain.

For six years. And, this is where the “not a real person but a fictional character” thing comes up again, because this isn’t a woman where one choice leads to a date with a man which leads to a relationship which leads to abuse that she doesn’t know how to get out of anymore. She is a fictional character whose journey was set out to end with her being in an abusive relationship.

And we also don’t know why she didn’t get out of it. She’s not a real person, we don’t know if she was so scared of Gabe that she didn’t know how to leave, if her lack of a support system is what led to her not leaving him, or if it was the motivation of not giving up Percy. The real, actual reason is that Riordan wanted to keep her in there and keep Percy out of the loop until he was twelve and The Lightning Thief could happen. Because she was able of getting rid of him as soon as the truth unravelled and Percy met camp.

And I’d like to use the way she did that to drive back home just how bad Gabe was, just how bad the situation Sally and Percy were in for six years, really was.

She murders him. She flat-out murders him. Both, her and Percy, together. This twelve-year old child who we meet and get to know as kind and not... not a murder-child, is ready to kill a man. That’s how badly Gabe abused them; both of these kind people chose murder to get rid of him.

And it’s just something I’ve never gotten over. Riordan really made the decision that his protagonist’s mom would rather get them both into an abusive home than give Percy up to camp. That was his decision; there could have been other ways. One thing that would have made this seem less like a deliberate choice would have, for example, been Sally not knowing about camp.

If she was a desperate mother, who saw no other options? That’d have made the situation different too. But we know Sally knew about camp. She knew there was a place she could send her son where he would be safe from the monsters, but she decided against that, she decided that she wanted to keep him close, at any costs - and the cost was six years of abuse.

I do not think that this decision should be framed as a heroic sacrifice, because the fact that she knew of an actually safe solution and decided against it was inherently selfish. She did not put up with six years of abuse for selfless reasons because there was “no other way”; there was, she knew that, but the author didn’t want her to take that.

Sometimes, the sacrifice is letting go of your child. And, as mentioned before, she wouldn’t have let go of him for good - camp is in the same bloody city as she is living. Literally one and a half hours away from her.

Now on to the other two ways in which I think Sally Jackson failed Percy.

For one, the lies about his father. Now, real people who are left by their partner with a baby, they can pick whatever to tell their kids whenever. But, again, this is a fictional character and the author makes the decision for her. And this, again, was a decision made solely based on the end result; Riordan needed Percy to not be in the know by the time The Lightning Thief came around, even though from a character-perspective, telling Percy the truth earlier would have been the logical and right decision.

If your kid is a demigod who is attracting real actual monsters with his scent alone? Percy started really attracting monsters when he was six years old and for the next six years, Sally didn’t disclose the truth to him; not about monsters, not about his father, not about the fact that Percy may have powers.

Percy attracted so many monsters that it led to Sally getting married to Gabe. That’s how badly he attracted monsters. Which also implies that Percy must have seen monsters. We get to see in The Lightning Thief just how much Percy thinks he’s going crazy with the things he sees. And that’s  been going on for six years too - six years and in those, his scent only got stronger.

This, again, isn’t just one decision she made. This is a decision she made every single day over and over again. The decision not to tell Percy about his father, the powers, the simple reassurance that he’s not going insane, that monsters are real. This was Percy’s reality and it would obviously only become more and more of an issue the older Percy got, but every single day, she chose not to tell him, to let him believe not just a lie but also steadily that he was going crazy.

And it’d have gone a long way if he had just known. Even with Gabe in their life, even if she hadn’t made the choice to send him to camp at age six, it’d have helped him so much to know the truth and be prepared for this life.

Because this wasn’t just an issue of “the guy left me, I don’t want to talk about it with my kid”, this was inherently about, once more, Percy’s safety. Knowing what to watch out for, knowing the thing you should watch out for is actually real, are huge factors in Percy’s safety. Having him as well-prepared as possible.

She knew his father was Poseidon. It’s not even that she had sex with some dude, not knowing who he was. She knew he was Poseidon. She knew what Percy’s parentage was, she must have observed the slow development of Percy’s powers over the years.

But again, she chose to leave him in the dark about it. He could have been well-prepared by age twelve. Read up everything on Poseidon, experimented with potential powers he may have, understanding why the fishes in the aquarium are talking to him and that he is not actually hearing voices, learning.

But that’s not useful for the author; Riordan wants an unprepared Percy who can be used to introduce this world to the reader.

The choice to not tell Percy the truth about his father and about being a demigod was made deliberately and, again, not in Percy’s best interest. And in this case, there really is no other interpretation left aside from “the author needs it to happen this way” - with Gabe, there is the legitimate argument that she may have been at one point just an abused woman stuck in a relationship with no out because we don’t know enough to know what her motivation and situation were exactly - but there is... no benefit at all in lying to Percy about this, no reason for it.

The moment he first started being in actual life-threatening danger because monsters came after him, it became a pressing matter to tell him what monsters are, that they are real and why they are after him and to prepare him for it.

Which brings me to the third instance.

She never prepared him - even just in a mortal manner. Even if we let the first two - the marriage to Gabe and the lies about his father - stand as they are, Sally could have done something very simple to prepare Percy for his life and to help keeping him safe.

Self-defense classes. Judo. Martial arts. Sword-fighting classes. Whatever.

Many parents teach their kids these kind of things from a young age. Parents whose kids aren’t in constant danger of being attacked by monsters. One of your first parental instincts should be to teach your kid to be safe; to protect themselves. Give him the means to fight back.

So, that’s it. That’s the three very vital and important instances in which I think Sally failed Percy as a mother; not just once, but repeatedly, for years.

Instead of sending him to a safe place where he could learn about his heritage and learn control of his powers as well as learning how to fight the monsters after his life, she chose to marry an abusive, smelly man whose scent would mask Percy’s. Probably. Hopefully. But it didn’t really, not all the time. As shown by The Lightning Thief and monsters coming after Percy. And Percy starts to think he’s crazy, because at no point did she tell him about the monsters, and at no point does he really know how to fight for his life, because at no point did she put the means to defend himself into his hands.

No. No, I do not think that those are the decisions a good mother would make. Those are decisions the author made because he knew the starting point of his story and he knew where Percy’s character needed to be for that.

The thing that’s glossed over are the choices Riordan implicitly made Sally make. To get to this point for Percy, at age 12, he had to make Sally repeatedly act against Percy’s best interests and deliberately not tell Percy the truth or teach him way to stay safe. So he masks those choices by putting on a framework that’s meant to make you only look at her suffering and the outcome, not the choices that led to it. That was Riordan’s choice and he framed it in a way that the fandom ate up and celebrates, when... neither Sally, nor Riordan, had do to that. There was another option on the table and, if Riordan had sat down and thought hard, I’m pretty sure there would have been more options.

The bottom line, what Sally’s parenting comes down to in the end, is that she and Percy got stuck with an abusive man for six years, because she didn’t want to send him to an actual safe place, she spent six years essentially gaslighting Percy about the things he hears/sees by not telling him the monsters are actually real and she repeatedly left him in unnecessary danger by not giving him the means to defend himself in any way whatsoever. And those are not signs of good parenting, not in my book.

But it’s just so much easier to ignore all of that and pretend that blue candy and trips to Montauk are the end all be all and that Sally’s fierce love for her son is the most defining trait of parenting. I know that. Most of the time, I’m right there with you - I love fanon!Sally, I love to pretend she’s the best mom ever and never did anything wrong, because I know the decisions are inherently made by Riordan and are a by-product; I know he wants her to be a good mother, I know throughout the series, he writes her as a good and loving mother.

But if I have to be honest and if I look at the whole text, including the implications of their past, canon!Sally isn’t that good of a mother.

[animemental]

FMA Forever

Why Edward Elric changed my view on anime for mental health. 

Also, please share this post if you or anyone else finds it interesting, informative, helpful in any way. I love to write and other than a few books I have going on through Wattpad and drafts, this is a good way for me to get out some thoughts and connect to others!

Anyways, onwards to the good stuff!

Photo from: Fullmetal Alchemist Fandom -Wiki

So, here we are, four or five posts deep into the crevices of my brain. I have a new idea for formatting these posts so bare with me. Please. It will be my interpretation of an anime with some actual facts thrown in; thoughts on the series as a whole; answering the question/statement from subtitle or previous pose. 

Background of Anime:

Fullmetal Alchemist is a manga by Hiromu Arakawa, serialized in 2001-2010. It tells of two young brothers living in a steampunk world of alchemy in a fictional country called Amestris . They commit taboo, pay the ultimate price and set off to fix everything. Edward is the oldest and Alphonse is the younger brother. Their father is a lot to deal with and their mother is... well, I don’t want to spoil it for those who have not seen the series. Though trial and tribulation, these bros fight tooth and nail for what they believe in and meet fantastic characters along the way. Ultimate goal: Figure out how to reverse their punishment. 

Series As I View It:

When it comes to overall mental health, I would say that FMA was not the most helpful in regulating emotional stability. This series had me up and down, riding a rollercoaster of emotions. I came to the FMA a bit later than others, getting the chance to binge the whole thing versus waiting each week for a snippet of the story. From the get go, I was horrified and downright pissed at fate. These boys are just trying to do the right thing out of desperation and life did them dirty. Thankfully, my life at the time was pretty calm, so I didn’t have to add anything into the mix other than watching a good plot and intriguing characters. The idea of alchemy is so wonderful; having the ability to change matter into other matter. In the Elrics case, their world took it a step further and includes automail; metal limbs. This made Edward and Al’s struggle even more sad. But then you get swept away by the detailed fight scenes and you are screaming for them to kick ass with those metal limbs. Overall, the series was equal parts entertaining and frustrating. You want the underdogs to win, but the author made sure that reality catches up to the viewer pretty quickly. They cannot win every fight, save everyone person in distress or always make it in time. Just watch episode 7: Night of the Chimera’s Cry and you will truly know pain and heart ache. 

To Answer the Question:

Why did Edward change my view on mental health?

Guys and gals, this kid is thrown every shitty thing possible and still manages to live his life. The dude has trauma galore and his soul mission for many episodes is fueled with regret, anguish, guilt, self-blame. I thought he was going to break in episode 7. He did struggle with the idea of not saving everyone and the unfairness of life, but fate did not give him a moment to breath. Reminds of the the webtoon Random Chat. LET OUR BOY HAVE A MOMENT TO JUST CHILL AND GO ON A DATE WITH HA-MIN, PLEASE. 

So, when I think mental health, I picture a functioning brain. It may have some troubles and need a moment to process life events, but overall is healthy and content. The person can cope with life stressors and feels okay with life majority of the time thanks to self-care, coping skills and other resources. Edward Elric was given the fewest resources but continued to push through to his ultimate goal. His problem-solving skills grow with each situation and he learns to depend on Alphonse as a brother and partner in fights more and more. He is creating his own coping skills and strategies to deal with immense stress. He doesn’t get the option of a therapist, a coping skills app, friends. He and his brother have to figure it out on their own 99% of the time and hope they live to the next day. It gives a lot of inspiration when you feel like nothing is going right and you will never feel better.  

Having a mental health disorder/illness sucks. Plain and simple, none of them are fun to experience and no one wished to feel that way. However, I believe that everyone has some spark in them that can help change some of the maladaptive thoughts and behaviors. It may be buried way deep down, but it is there. Edward discovers his many episodes into the series. 

In the next post, here are some questions to answer:

1. Is there any other instances or aspects of the anime that you want to point out?

2. What is the beef with episode 7?

3. Tell me more about how Ed discovers his inner spark.

Okay, folks! This concludes Part 1 of my FMA rant. I think this may be a three part series. I could go on and on about FMA but I do have A LOT of series to get through.