#like don't be a bigot??? It's not hard?????????

[bloggerspam]

Gonna change it up a little and reblog from my sideblog bc ill be doing some little omake scenes (extras, and in this case not-quite canon but might as well be) over there (if i think of any/can manage to be funny enough)

If you saw me reblog the new update no you didnt it was a last minute decision. >.>

===

So.

The unnamed Cousin who caught him in his lies was not in fact, a bigot who was appalled about Jon's powers, but rather a concerned meta-human himself.

Good to know.

Kon uses his hearing to try and get a bead on the suddenly missing Cousin's whereabouts, his irregular heartbeat standing out amongst the crowd.

He grabs the red-headed cousin who made Jon on his meta-human status and tugs her along to where his little brother might be. He can already hear the un-named cousin scolding the younger kids for their recklessness, which makes him smile in relief. He's always been bad at that kind of thing, even though it's his job to do so as the older one.

Even if Jon has technically existed for longer than he has, Kon has way more information downloaded into him. The fact that they didn't download him with the intricacies of being an older sibling should honestly be a crime.

At any rate, Kon and Jon definitely owe these cousins for discretion. Even though Ma said the Walkers wouldn't have had an issue with them having powers, it was still dangerous to even give the possibility of a connection to the Supers.

Especially since Clark was already Smallville's biggest and worse kept secret.

Honestly, he shouldn't have trusted Clark in the first place, even if Pa backed him up on it.

Kon hates to say it, but this is exactly why Tim is so adamant on those stupid plans and practicing them.

It started out so well too—none of the Aunts or Uncles or older cousins suspected a thing! Kon introduced himself, gave his branch family name, and most of them just, moved on!

When Pa and Clark said it wasn't unusual in a big family like theirs, Kon almost didn't believe them. It was only through the virtue of Jon's previous memories of not remembering a single cousin despite going to three of these reunions already that Kon even agreed to the foolhardy plan!

Kon had even asked for Mom and Ma's help just in case, but then Auntie Agatha had her emergency and Kon had to drop them both off and Pa needed help carrying Ma's pies—

All this to say, he shouldn't have let his guard down just because a couple of relatives let it pass. There was bound to be at least one relative who would notice, and Kon knows more than anyone that twisting yourself up in lies can get you caught real quick—you don't stay on a team with Red Robin and not learn that lesson the hard way.

Have fun, Pa said. It'll be fine, nobody'll notice, Clark said. Seriously, you're starting to sound like Tim, Jon said!

And look how that turned out, Kon thinks viciously. Both Jon and Kon have been made by not just one but three Walker cousins, and Kon has to deal with it as the older one.

The absolute worst.

From a mission objective point of view, Kon has utterly and terribly failed. He was thrown into the deep with no basic research under his belt, no rudimentary plan, and worst of all, no back up plans or back up plans for the back up plan.

Kon should have insisted they waited for Mom, damn it. Tim would have done that. Cassie would have probably lied better than him, and Bart would have just coasted on his cute little baby face.

Kon hates to say this even more, but his brashness of just jumping right in with the confidence of success no matter what is probably something he inherited from Clark.

But Batman isn't here to clean up his mess, and his team is scattered doing their own secret identity obligations.

He really should have waited for Mom to come back.

Kon rounds the bend of one of the Uncle's houses, the Reunion being held in the neighborhood the local family members have low-key taken over. With a total of four ranch-sized houses owned, next to each other, it makes for a big enough space to host (or so he's been told).

"Ellie, you know you were supposed to stay out of the bounce house." A stern voice is staying. He and the red-headed cousin find their prize just behind the edge house, somehow empty and devoid of the reunion shenanigans.

Jon and (presumably) Ellie are sitting on the grass looking caught out but otherwise happy with themselves. They keep nudging each other as the meta-cousin stands before them, arms crossed and shaking his head in defeat. He's even pinching the bridge of his nose, reminding Kon of Tim when the team does something they're not supposed to be doing.

"Baby Jon, didn't Uncle Clark teach you how to control your powers?" The unnamed meta-cousin asks his brother, exasperated. "What am I saying, he doesn't have a subtle bone in his body when it comes to the family.."

Kon snorts, unable to help himself, drawing the trio's attention.

"Jazz!" Ellie beams, waving excitedly before spotting Kon. Her wide-eyes freeze him in place. "Who's that?"

"That's what I'd like to know." The meta-cousin grumbles, hands going to his hips and Jazz stumbles over to check over Ellie and Jon.

"I told you," Kon adjusts his sunglasses to dart a look at the meta-cousin, before smiling down at Ellie. "I'm Jon's older brother, Conner."

"Baby Jon doesn't have a brother." Jazz and Ellie say in unison.

The meta-cousin throws his hands up in defeat. "And Baby Jon didn't have powers either, clearly we're missing something!"

"It's a new development." Jon grumbles. "You didn't have powers last time either, Cousin Danny."

"It's a new development." The finally named meta-cousin mocks back. "And clearly, I have a better handle on it than you do, Baby Jon."

"This is so unfair." Jon huffs, flopping back into the grass. "And I hate it when you guys call me Baby Jon."

Danny points at Jon whilst Jazz rolls her eyes as they both say in unison, "You're not a Cousin until you bring your first dessert."

"But Ma never lets me near the oven!" Jon whines as Ellie giggles, tumbling back into his brother and making him laugh with her.

"I think that's kind of the point, kiddo." Kon ventures, unsure feeling less and less confident in Clark's plan.

"Don't think I forgot about you," Danny points at Kon, who puts his hands up in surrender. "Far as we're concerned you're still a Baby too. You did not exist before this, and therefore have not brought a dessert."

"You don't know that." Kon challenges, trying to at least get one lie through. "I don't come to these things often, sure, but it's not like you know every cousin in this gods damned family."

"That's the thing." Danny squints his eyes in suspicion, "You'd be correct if you weren't in my age range. My generation came out the smallest—there's only three of us cousins in this age bracket, and you sure as hell ain't tall and blonde like Cousin Mark is, and you're damned well not a girl like Cousin Jenny."

"Plus," Jazz interjects, scrolling through her phone. "I don't have your baby pictures."

"What?" Kon and Jon say in unison, the younger sitting up in confusion. Kon clears his throat, trying to sound authoritative. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Jazz has everyone's baby pictures." Ellie says as she also sits up. "Plus, she and Dad know every family member."

"See?" Jazz turns her phone around, showing a family picture of Ma and Pa and Clark and Mom when she was heavily pregnant with Jon. "I have every Kent's photo except for you."

Scrolling through, she starts showing them pictures of a toddler Jon on Clark's shoulders, Ma and Pa chatting at Mom's wedding, even a picture of Clark doing some kind of bull wrangling when he was Kon's age.

"And you just…have that." Kon stares disbelievingly at Jazz, "On your phone."

"Well, yes." Jazz looks at him confusedly. "I have most of the family's baby pictures."

"She even has some pictures of Great Aunt Martha's first date with Great Uncle Jon." Danny shrugs, as if this is normal.

As if this is sane behavior when you have 100+ family members.

"…How?" Kon asks, scrolling through her phone and jolting. "Is this Mom in high school?? Where did you get these??"

"They showed me once, so I took a picture of it." Jazz shrugs. "Sometimes the Aunts blast them out in group chats, or on InstaFace."

"Nobody even uses InstaFace anymore!" Kon feels like he might be crazy, this is insane right? None of his downloaded information is helpful, and Tim didn't include this in his powerpoint about social media.

"Jazz got one specifically to keep up with the family!" Ellie smirks, which makes Kon realize she thinks his reaction is funny. "She doesn't use any other social media."

"Aren't there like, a bajillion family members?" Jon chimes in from where he's hopping up behind Kon, trying to see. Kon bends over a little bit before he does something drastic, like fly. "Why do you have like, everyone's baby pictures?"

"I don't have everyone," Jazz argues, "Great Grandpa Arty and Great Grandma Bella didn't have pictures."

"Because that's what we're focusing on here." Kon snarks, looking to Danny and Ellie for help and getting exactly zero.

"It is not that strange!" Jazz huffs, snatching her phone back and scrolling through to a particular one. "It's nice to have memories and I like keeping track of everyone!"

She seems to find the picture she's looking for, shoving it in his face. It's a picture of an album.

There's a picture of Ma and Pa's wedding, a little sepia toned from sun or time damage where it shines a little unevenly in the album it's in. There are two hands in the photo holding open the album, a small pale hand with teal nail polish on it, and a slender woman's hand, wrinkles barely visible, with Ma's wedding ring on it.

Admittedly, Kon can understand wanting to save these kind of memories. Knowing Ma, she would have told Jazz the entire story too.

It makes a pang pulse through Kon, something close to jealousy and envy, but just a little to the left of it.

Something like loneliness.

"Is this Great Aunt Martha?" A tuft of black hair gets in his face, causing him to jerk back a little. Ellie has inserted herself between Kon and the phone, hanging off his arm and tiptoe-ing to see.

The point of contact soothes him a little, moreso when Jon nudges in from his other side, the two almost bumping heads and bickering over the photo.

Kon lets them have it, and the two sort of wrestle their way to the grass to peruse the rest of the album to try and find more of the Kents and Fentons like some kind of Where's Waldo game.

A hand clasps down on his shoulder, and when Kon turns his gaze away from the preteens he meets Danny's almost sad gaze.

"Listen. Clearly we need to do a sort of…" Danny steers Kon over to where Jazz has sat down neatly next to the kids on the grass, "debrief, I guess."

"Did Uncle Clark have you with a one night stand?" Ellie asks, which has both him and his brother choking on their spit. "Mom said he was hopeless with the ladies, but maybe he was good enough to have a rendezvous or two?"

The look on Jazz and Danny's faces suggest that they clearly don't think Clark is cool enough for that, and it warms the cockles of Kon's little heart.

"I don't think Uncle Clark is the...one night stand type." Jazz says, reasonably. "He doesn't really do anything casual by the mile."

"Conner's a Junior like me, so Uncle Clark would have been…" Danny does the math, "at least dating Aunt Lois, so if he did it'd be an affair."

"I am not an affair baby." Kon interjects exasperatedly, throwing one last Hail Mary out. "I was just really shy as a kid, and since Lois had me out of wedlock I felt real weird about it, okay!"

"Aunt Lois wouldn't have been ashamed." Jazz's voice is stern, which makes his spine tingle the same way it does when Tim or Ma or Mom scold him—like he's done something really wrong and should cop up to it. "Great Aunt Martha wouldn't have let her, I wouldn't have let her, and you've got another thing comin' if you think I'm gonna let you keep talkin' 'bout yourself like that young man."

"Shit," Danny cusses, rubbing the back of his head and pressing Kon down into the grass between the kids. "You might as well get talkin'. When Jazz's accent gets all funky it means she's real mad."

Kon looks at Jon, at a loss.

They don't know each other well enough to have built up some kind of sibling communication, and most of all Kon's still new to this whole, human/family/community thing even if YJ has done its damnedest.

But somehow, both of them know they've got to give up the ghost.

This is definitely all Clark's fault.

"…We tell you ours," Kon offers as Jon employs his deadliest puppy dog eyes, "and you tell us yours?"

Before Danny or Jazz can even think to interject, Ellie sticks out her hand towards his little brother to shake. "Deal!"

Cousins, Clones and Conning the Family

Family Reunion AU, where cousins Maddie and Clark try to smuggle their clone children into the family reunion that happens every 5 years and pretend they've been there the whole time.

Spoiler alert, one of them does significantly better than the other. Mainly Kid POV, and also on AO3! Multichapter. ===

The problem with big family reunions, Danny thinks, is how utterly fucking lost Danny is all the gosh dang time.

"Well now, you're Maddie's son now ain'tcha? How old is you now?" The woman standing before him guffaws, ruffling his hair. He lets it, trying desperately to remember the speadsheet Jazz created for the family and (obviously) failing to recall this woman's name.

Agatha? Selene? Riri? No, Aunt Riri is over there—

"Yes ma'am," Danny smiles up at the unnamed aunt, accent going a little twangy like it always does at these functions, "I'll be hittin' 17 in a coupl'a months or so."

"My, my, you youngin's sure grow like weeds!" The aunt coos, gesturing to a height by her hip, "You used to be this tall last time I saw ya, betcha don't r'member me now do ya?"

It's a trap. If he says he doesn't remember, which is expected at reunions such as these that happen every 5 years or longer, she'll start going on and on about the stories she has of the family. Danny would have to stand here and demure and laugh at these cousins he doesn't really remember too well, but know enough to know that she's gotten them all mixed up.

"Pshaw," Danny doesn't react when a whisper breathes the answer into his ear, "I'd never forget a pretty lady like you, Aunt Helena!"

It works like a charm.

The second he's out of her clutches, he feels around for a cold spot. There, trailing just behind him, is Ellie. She's not invisible anymore, so he tucks her under his arm and bee-lines it towards the metaphorical kid's table.

"Thanks, Ellie. Weren't you supposed to stay with Dad?" Danny leads them around, trying to avoid any other mishaps. "Did Jazz send you?"

"She made me flashcards!" Ellie smirks up at him, ignoring his other question and pulling a corner of an index card out from the palm of her hand. She's always been better than him at manipulating the ecto in her body, for obvious reasons. Danny's not bitter about it at all.

"Damn, all I got was a presentation." Danny grumbles. Jazz and Dad somehow know every single one of their family members, which is ludicrous when even Mom doesn't know despite it being her side of the family.

He still can't really believe how big his family actually is, but he supposes that's natural. He only sees them once every couple of years, the only relative they see even on a remotely regular basis is Aunt Alicia, who has no kids and refuses (rightfully so) to remarry.

Danny's fine with that, he gets the best of both worlds after all. Cozy holiday stays with Aunt Alicia and he has places to stay all over the country if he really needs it, no questions asked.

Plus, crazy as they can be, these reunions have always felt like a big country festival for Danny.

"She likes me better." Ellie snickers, tugging him back to avoid Uncle Charlie's drunken stumbling.

"Everyone likes you better," Danny rolls his eyes, pushing Ellie's head down and ducking to avoid a stray kid's toy flying overhead, "I like you better."

As if somehow knowing Danny's being self deprecating again, Jazz shows up to smack him on the head. "I like both of you equally in special ways."

Danny makes a disgruntled noise, grumbling as he rubs his head, "Mooooom, Jazz is therapizing me again!"

Even though he was only half joking, Mom does show up specifically to laugh at him. "Honey, your father and I love all our children equally!"

"It's a secret," Dad says from behind Jazz, kids climbing all over him, "But Ellie's the favorite!"

"Jack!" Mom yells at the same time Jazz screams, "Dad!"

Ellie dissolves into giggles, making everyone but Dad helplessly laugh. It's good to see Ellie laugh, she does it a lot but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. Danny picks her up, giggling mess and all, and tosses her at Dad.

She lands, as expected, straight into the pile of children who scream and accept her easily.

"Nice." Jazz chuckles, this time patting him gently on his head in approval. Danny shrugs, dusting his hands off and heading back towards salvation: the food.

He and Jazz mingle a bit, exchanging greetings and school updates with the Aunts and Uncles they occasionally bump into, making their way slowly through and keeping an eye out for the other cousins.

Eventually, Jazz gets nabbed by Cousin Dermot just as Danny reaches the table, tossing a pig-in-a-blanket into his mouth and chewing with glee. The locals of the family usually something potluck style—and though Dad's genes are strong and the Fentons can't cook, the bulk of the Walker family definitely can.

In fact—Great Aunt Martha said she was going to bring some mini pies right?

Danny spies a pile of them in the middle of the large table and reaches for one, only to bump into the spikes of black fingerless gloves.

The gloves are, of course, attached to someone else.

It's a boy, around Danny's age, in a spiked leather jacket (matching the gloves) and white tee shirt with ripped jeans. He's got the tiniest John Lennon sunglasses and piercings everywhere—it makes Danny squint at him, with how much the sun keeps catching on everything—the spikes, the piercings, the metal arms of the sunglasses, is this dude also wearing lipgloss?

Danny's not judging, a guy can appreciate proper hydration to avoid chapped lips or even just for the aesthetic, but it doesn't help with the glare.

"Sorry, my bad." Right, okay, city slicker then. Not that Danny's much of a country boy or anything. "Did my spikes get you?"

Maybe Cousin Jenny brought a plus one? Danny eyes the guys jeans—they look tight. Was Cousin Mark into guys? Is this dude a guy or possibly a masculine girl? Ack. Stupid sun frying his brain.

"It's okay," Danny says, blinking away and tossing mini pie to the other person. "Aunt Martha's pies are worth the minor injury. You comin' in with one of the cousins?"

"Uh, yeah." Citypunk looks at Danny nervously, "I mean, I am one of the cousins." The guy bites his lips, shrugging, "Uh, one of the Kents, actually. Ma's real proud of the pies."

Danny blinks.

"…You're not Jon." Danny says, very carefully and slowly.

"…No…" Stranger Danger draws his vowels out, "I'm Conner. His, uh, older brother? Can't blame ya for being confused though!"

"…You can't." Danny agrees, because out of the two them, Danny definitely isn't to blame for the confusion.

"Yeah, lots of cousins, and all," Curiouser and Curiouser beams at Danny, shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck, "Plus, I know Jon's more sociable at these things."

"Right, he really is rambunctious, that guy." Danny nods, as if that's the problem, and not the fact that Danny knows every single cousin his age. Big as his family might be, Danny's generation came out the smallest. Cousin Jenny and Cousin Mark are the only two his age.

With Ellie and Jazz each being four years younger and older than Danny, and the other cousins being well beyond those ages in gaps, there is no way this guy is a cousin.

"Don't worry," Punk'd laughs self deprecatingly, "I know he's the favorite. even if Mom won't admit it."

Danny feels a vein throb in his right temple.

He's unsure if he should slowly back away or get up in the guy's face. It's just—now that Danny thinks about it, if wedding crashing is a thing, does that mean family reunion crashing is a thing too?

What's the protocol here? Should he fight this guy for having the audacity to use Great Aunt Martha's name in vein?

Wait, no, that's Jesus.

Is Great Aunt Martha Catholic? ...Is that the one with Jesus, or was that Christianity?

Wait, Danny, you knuckle head, Uncle Clark was adopted. Conner could be adopted too! Even though he looks exactly like that Uncle Clark when he was younger…

"Is this your first time at a reunion?" Danny ventures, "We only have 'em—"

"Every 5 years, yeah." Conner huffs, "Nah, I just used to hide with Ma in the kitchens."

Okay, clearly Great Aunt Martha isn't in on this, because Danny used to hide with Great Aunt Martha in the kitchens. Danny's about to lose his shit on this guy��or maybe sic Ellie on him. Whichever is worse.

"Oh yeah? That's must have been cozy." Danny grits out, taking a deep breath so his eyes don't flash.

"Yeah, it was!" Conner beams shyly. though all Danny sees is a smug smirk. "She's real nice-like, I'm sure you know. Real lucky to have her for a Grandma."

"Real lucky." Danny agrees, because Great Aunt Martha really was one of the better Great Aunts. Though most of the Walker Kin were hardy and tough, in that badass kind of way. Mom really liked Great Aunt Martha's lessons on bull wranglin' back when they were younger. "Speakin' of, she ain't here?"

"Nah," Conner makes a sad little pout. "She hadta stop by Auntie Agatha's for an emergency. She left two days ago, so she's runnin' a little behind. Cl—Dad went to go pick her up."

Danny squints at the possible imposter. That sounded like he was going to call Uncle Clark by his name, which makes things confusing for Danny. Guy will call Aunt Lois Mom but he won't call Uncle Clark Dad easily?  Maybe he's a kid Aunt Lois had before marrying Uncle Clark? But Aunt Lois would never hide a kid, and Great Aunt Martha would never let her treat a kid like that. That's not even taking into account that this kid looks way too much like Uncle Clark for it to be a fucking coincidence. Plus, Danny knew about Aunt Aggie's emergency and how she might not be making it to this year's reunion—this gives Conner's story credibility.

But Danny knows that the best way to lie is with truths, even if the truths are confusing.

So what the hell is going on? Is Clockwork fucking with him? Did an alternate timeline get switched with his?

It wouldn't be the first time, but Clockwork at least had the decency to let him know at least.

"What the—" Danny blinks, as Conner picks up a very familiar, eye-searingly green colored post it note that was stuck to the plate under a mini pie. "Is this yours?"

"Yeah," Danny huffs. taking the note and rolling his eyes as lies roll off his tongue, "Sorry, y'know how it goes with Jazz."

"Oh, yeah." And Danny has to give it Conner, he at least rolls with the punches real quick, "I heard about it but didn't ever uh, see it in action."

"Really?" Danny feigns surprise, head pulsing in irritation at the words all is as it should be written in purple pen. There's no mocking smiley face, but Danny feels it in the ink anyway. "Thought she got all the cousins at the last reunion."

Conner chuckles nervously, "Oh, yeah—Guess I'm just, easy to miss you know?"

"Uh huh…" Danny eyes the guy and his piercings and very distinct style, from the tip of his clearly styled hair and needlessly ostentatious big black studded boots. "…Right."

Conner laughs, wincing. "These're new. High school debut."

"…You're a freshman?" Danny tilts his head, squinting.

"Junior." Conner automatically corrects, before stiffening. "…I just wanted to reinvent myself for Junior Prom."

"Right." Danny repeats, drawing out the vowels and finally giving up. He can tell Conner already knows what Danny is going to ask, and is trying to exit this conversation post-haste.

Fortunately for Conner and unfortunately for Danny, Jazz comes barreling in, almost knocking the former out in the process as she grips the latter's biceps tightly with her eyes wide and nervous.

Unfortunately for Conner and fortunately for Danny, though the look in Jazz's eyes thoroughly distracts the latter and gives the former a window to escape, Jazz's hissed out words end up keeping Conner rooted to the floor.

"Baby Jon has powers!" Jazz hisses as she moves Danny away from the possible imposter a couple feet. Even though she says it low enough for only Danny to hear, Conner's wide eyes as he whips his gaze towards them suggests that Jon's not the only one with powers.

And then words actually register along with that thought.

Danny hisses out the first thing he thinks of. "Since when?? I thought he took after Aunt Lois!"

"Since now," Jazz gruffs, switching her grip to drag Danny away, "and I need you to do something about it!"

"What?" Danny doesn't struggle, going along even as he eyes Conner who seems to be following them at a distance. "Why?"

Jazz pushes him towards the kid's area, rushing out a frantic "He's in the bounce house with Ellie!"

Danny freezes, or tries to even as Jazz keeps tugging him along, before shaking off her hand and booking it towards the bounce house.

Once the bounce house (a castle) comes into view, Danny clocks several things in succession:

One: Ellie and Jon are thankfully the only ones in the bounce house right now.

Two: Ellie and Jon are laughing, and through the mesh Danny can see Ellie watching Jon jump way too high to be considered normal.

And three: The bounce house is about to fucking tip over.

There's a gaggle of Aunts herding the younger cousins towards the food that's dense enough for cover, but sparse enough for Danny to dash through.

Between one blink and the next, he disappears.

[faeriedaez]

If you don't know, there are still Hunt Table Submissions open for @anim-ttrpgs's Eureka. It's only five bucks a submission! The idea behind the hunt tables is pretty simple. It's a bunch of different tables corresponding to the sorts of places a Monster Player Character might go to hunt people! Pick out someone to murder and consume.

The hunt table is probably one of the places where Eureka shines the most as a Horror Game. It is designed to ensure monster PC's don't get handed a bunch of soft-balls vis-a-vis the moral quandary of their life. No dog-kicking overtly bigoted assholes the hypothetical vampire can slurp down without any qualms, just a bunch of regular people. It as a mechanic goes out of its way to emphasize that desperate and vulnerable minorities (in this case... such as vampires) will always find an easier time preying upon equally desperate and vulnerable people. It's like that quote from a pickpocket, "I gave it up when i realized the people I got away with stealing from were typically as poor as me."

So, the idea behind Hunt Table Submissions was initially if I understand, a kickstarter perk where if you donated enough you could put yourself into the hunt tables. The Kickstarter came and went, and there ended up being a LOT of different hunt tables, and plenty of room for more eventual submissions - so it's still open to this day. Submissions don't even really need to be directly based on you, they could be old OCs, a Eureka Investigator, or just an interesting encounter!

But me personally, I took one look at this set-up and thought "Oh boy! An excuse to write INTENSE MORAL QUANDARIES and RUIN A MONSTER CHARACTERS DAY!" See bellow:

Alexis Johal, a younger looking visibly trans woman sitting alone at the corner of the bar, glancing around nervously as if she’s unsure she belongs. She has dark wiry hair that looks like maybe it would curl if she took better care of it. She has olive skin and a face with worry lines unbefitting of a girl her age. She is dressed in a long black skirt and a pale button-up shirt with a faded and unremarkable pattern. She has a simpering personality and a tendency to try and make herself as unobtrusive as possible. She is anxious enough here that she would be easily manipulated by anyone who shows her kindness. She is smart enough to know better, but drunk enough not to care. 

Like all the best Hunt Table Entries, it's technically a free kill - but one that's really hard to take advantage of without feeling like... well like a monster!

Anyways, if you're interested in writing your own Hunt Table Entry, hit them up at anim.contactus@gmail.com and pitch your submission.

Finally, uhhhh, check out the ANIM book club! Dope place to meet like minds and discuss TTRPG's as an artistic medium with genuine themes, PEACE. ✌️

[kjzx]

I've been playing slitherio these past few days, and after some time messing around with nicknames and my own experience with the stuff, I've realized anger is something very easy to weaponize. On my second attempt of having "trans rights" as a nickname I killed a huge ~5k point worm as a teenie tiny 200 point worm simply because it was so desperate to kill me specifically. Anger makes your life harder, but it also makes people really unwise. I fucking bet this is in "the art of war", even though I haven't read it.

[flamagenitus]

Fascinating. I've heard literally nothing but adoring praise for Paper Mario since like 2016

[diluc33rpm]

the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since

[h0dge-p0dge]

EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW ALL OF MY HEADCANONS FOR THE CHARAVTER IN EXCRUCIATING DETAIL BECAUSE I AM RIGHT AND EVERYONE ELSE IS WROMG

[bakingrecipe]

can't shake the feeling that they had two youth icon awardees because one of them was trans and they wanted to save face by giving it to a cishet person and they chose a singer lmao like okay what has he done to be consider youth icon lolz did no one else rsvp to the award ceremony or what

[phantastragoria]

Preview for GotG #03...

[dukeofankh]

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[mosspapi]

Can't decide if this dude in my studio course is well-intentioned but ignorant as fuck, or just straight up a bigot :(

[ohnoitstbskyen]

re: Somerton

Not for nothing, but I think we should remember that James Somerton's fans and subscribers are normal people, just like you. They are people who received his output in good faith, and extended to him a normal amount of grace and benefit of the doubt, which he took advantage of.

I don't think it's helpful to respond to the exposé on Somerton with sentiments along the lines of "wow, how could anyone ever think THIS GUY'S videos were any good, ha ha ha, how did he ever get subscribers?" because 1) you have the substantial benefit of hindsight and a disengaged outsider perspective, and 2) it's a rhetoric that creates a divide between you (refined, savvy, smart, sophisticated) and Somerton's audience (gullible, unrefined, easily taken advantage of, terrible taste), which is a false divide, with a false sense of security.

Somerton's success happened because he stole good writing. He found interesting, insightful, in-depth work done by other people, applied the one skill he actually has which is marketing, and re-packaged it as his own. He targeted a market which is starving for the exact kind of writing he was stealing, and pushed his audience to disengage from sources that conflicted with him.

Hbomberguy makes this point in his exposé video: good queer writing is hard to find and incredibly easy to lose. The writers Somerton stole from were often poor or precarious, writing freelance work for small circles under shitty conditions, without the means or the reach or the privileges necessary to find bigger markets. And, as Hbomb demonstrated, when people did discover Somerton's plagiarism, he used his substantial audience to hound them away and dissuade anyone else from trying to hold him accountable.

He stole queer writing by marginalized people, about experiences and perspectives that people are desperate to hear more about, and even if his delivery and aesthetics were naff, his words resonated with people because the original writers who actually wrote them poured their goddamn hearts and souls into it.

Somerton also maintained a consistent narrative of persecution and marginalization about himself. He took the plain truth, which is that queer people and perspectives are discriminated against, and worked that into a story about himself as a lone, brave truth-teller, daring to voice an authentic queer perspective, constantly beset by bigots and adversaries who sought to tear him down. As @aranock, who works with some of the people he targeted, writes in this post, Somerton weaponized whatever casual bias and bigotry he could find in his audience to reinforce his me vs them narrative (usually misogyny and various forms of transphobia), which is what grifters do. They find a vulnerable thread in a community and pull on it. And while you may not have the particular vulnerability that he exploited, you do have vulnerabilities, and they can be exploited too.

People felt compelled to support him, even if his work was sometimes shoddy, because he presented himself as a vulnerable, marginalized person in need of help, he pulled on that vulnerable thread.

Again, he has a degree in marketing, and just like propaganda, nobody is immune to marketing.

YouTube as a system is set up to push for more, constantly more. More content, more videos, more output, more more more more, and part of Somerton and Illuminaughty's success was their ability to push out large amounts of content to the hungry algorithm, even if it was of inferior quality. The algorithm rewarded their volume of output with more eyeballs and attention, and therefore more opportunities to find people who were vulnerable to their grift.

It is a system which quite literally rewards the exact kind of plagiarism that they do, because watch-time and engagement are easily measurable metrics for a corporation, and academic rigor is not. There is pressure to deliver, and a lot of rewards to gain from cutting corners to do it.

Somerton and Illuminaughty and Internet Historian are extreme and very obvious cases, so blatant that you can make a four hour video essay exposing what they've done, but the vast majority of this kind of plagiarism isn't going to be obvious - sometimes it might not even be obvious to the people who are doing it. Casual plagiarism is endemic to the modern internet, and most people don't get educated on what the exact boundaries are between proper sourcing and quoting vs plagiarizing. We had an entire course module at my university aimed at teaching students the exact differences and definitions, and people still made good faith mistakes in their essays and papers that they had to learn to correct during their education.

All of this to say: it is extremely easy in hindsight to call Somerton's work shitty and shoddy, his aesthetics flat and uninspired, and to imagine that as a sophisticated person with good taste and critical faculties, you would never be taken in by this kind of grifter. It is extremely easy to distance yourself from the people he preyed on, and imagine that you will never have to worry about your fave doing your dirty like that.

But part of the point of Hbomberguy's video is that plagiarism is extremely easy to get away with, and often difficult for the average person to spot and call out, and with the rise of AI tools blurring the lines even further, it is not going to get any easier.

So I think we should resist the temptation to think of Somerton's audience as people with bad taste and poor faculties. We should resist the temptation to distance ourselves from the perfectly normal people he preyed on. Many times in your life, a modestly clever man with a marketing degree has fooled you too.

On a personal note, by the same token, I am resisting the temptation to assume that I am too good to be vulnerable to the systemic pressures that produced Somerton and Illuminaughty. No, I've never made a video by word-for-word reciting someone else's work, but I know for a fact that I could do a better job of double-checking my work and citing my sources. I feel the exact same pressure to get a video out as fast as possible, I have the exact same rewards dangled in front of me by YouTube as a platform, and I can't pretend it doesn't affect my work. To me, Hbomb's video felt like a wake-up call to do better.

[wilwheaton]

Hey man, I could use a few talking points to help convince a friend that Musk is horrible. I'm reading 'Think Again' by Adam Grant (good read btws) and he says to help convince people to come to your viewpoint that it can be good to have 2 or 3 strong points instead of 10 mixed points. The counter argument I get from people about Musk being good is that he did spacex and tesla, and without him we'd be decades behind. Maybe, but I don't have good ammo. Please help as I get too angry tobe critical

Well, listen, the fascism, the transphobia, the chaos, and the unwavering support for autocrats all over the planet really ought to be enough to outweigh anything else, if you ask me. It sounds like you know some people who got excited about the companies he threw money at, and they are having a tough time updating their feelings due to current events. Or maybe they share his values and don't want to admit that.

But I'll try to offer some simple facts.

He did not do engineering with Tesla or SpaceX or even PayPal. He is a fraud. He walked into these existing businesses, where people had done actual work and engineering, threw some of his Apartheid money at them, and took credit for their work. He claims, over and over again, to be a founder of these companies, and that's just straight up a lie that is easily disproved.

He literally did nothing except throw money at people and take credit for their work. Look at every Tesla up to the (chokes back laughter) Cybertruck. Those Teslas look like cars, because they were designed by engineers. Look at the Cybertruck. When you stop laughing at what a joke it is, know this: that's what happens when Elon Musk is in charge. It's like a ten year-old with some crayons drew it on a menu at Denny's.

All of the things his weird fans claim he made possible, are things that would have happened, and were in the process of happening, without him. He literally did nothing to advance the technologies or engineering. In fact, SpaceX whistleblowers have told reporters how they had to keep Musk occupied with bullshit, so they could do the real work without him fucking it up all the time with his incompetence.

But even if he were telling the truth, even if the myth were fact, it would not outweigh the damage, the pain, the chaos, and the suffering he has inflicted on millions and millions of people, all over the world with his lies, his spread of misinformation, and his incitement of angry incels.

Also, don't forget, when Ukraine was trying to defend itself, he turned off Starlink access when they could have decisively ended Russia's aggression. A lot of people have suffered and died as a direct consequence of that action, which he took to support his buddy and fellow autocrat, Vladimir Putin.

That's more information than I think your friends will be willing to hear. Studies indicate that people who are heavily invested in the myth of a person will fight hard to hold onto the myth, and reject truth and facts, because it's so jarring to them. Musk has built a cult of personality, and maybe your friends are stuck to it.

I'd gently encourage your friends to consider one key fact: he has lied about his entire origin story, he has lied about his contributions to Tesla and SpaceX. He lies about everything, except when he posts on Twitter like a 12 year-old edgelord, because that's who he is, emotionally.

Finally, and this is for you, specifically: if your friends insist on supporting a fascist, a racist, a misogynist, or a bigot, because they think rockets are cool, maybe it's time to look for new friends.

I hope this helps.

And fuck Elon Musk.

[plaidos]

i hadn’t looked too hard into the michfest thing, but i’m just now doing my research and reflecting on alison bechdel’s relation w trans people and she honestly strikes me as a massive coward 😭. wrote a comic critizing michfest for its transphobic policies, continued to go. said some vaguely trans positive things in interviews and some comics, does some base level trans activism these days, but doesn’t seem to have done any deep dive on her own transmisogyny. i guess, and i’m asking this genuinely, is terf an accurate word for her if she’s just a fucking coward? is terf a good word for someone who reposted something supporting trans youth just a couple months ago? like (today) she’s more supportive of trans people than the average person but the bar is fucking on the floor. trying to figure out this things for myself cause idk if there’s an easy answer. but yeah michfest was fucking awful i can’t believe i didn’t know more about it sooner. thanks for having generally good opinions and sorry people are harassing you

people have let the idea of the word terf simmer down into like, Only Completely Rabid Crazy Bigots Who Are Totally Blatant About It, like JK Rowling etc.

the truth is, the word terf was literally coined to describe the people who attended Michfest specifically. that is literally what it was meant to describe, always. i don't think it's cowardice for Bechdel to play nice with a bunch of transmisogynists and terfs, not at all -- what is she afraid of? the consensus is totally behind her and her ilk. she doesn't challenge it because even though she thinks that trans people deserve to be treated politely/kindly, she does not value trans women's perspectives as women and sees us to be male socialised. you can support trans youth, read trans books, promote trans artists all you want, if you believe terf rhetoric you are a terf.

[jewish-vents]

My dad is Muslim. My mom is Jewish. His family used to treat my mother and I well, but in the last year they've all become increasingly hateful and bigoted. Finally he snapped at his dad for saying something antisemitic I won't repeat here and told him, "She has done nothing to you! Her family has done nothing to you! Our country slaughtered them and threw the survivors out! And all she's ever asked you for is respect! All she's ever wanted is peace! My wife is worth more to me than you, than your respect, than [entire country my dad immigrated from]! If Jews are so evil, why do you have to goad her and goad her and fucking goad her to try to get a response? And why haven't you gotten one? I'll tell you why - it's because she's something you aren't! She's a good person! I will take a good person who's a Jew over a monster like you any day! Get out of my house and don't come back!"

I'm so torn up inside. I love my dad. I love that he loves my mom and I so much. I love that he supports our being Jewish and has always told me that God loves all people, that I don't have to be Muslim just because he is. He's helped me learn Hebrew since my dyslexia makes it hard for me just like Arabic is for him. I could not ask for a better dad. But I hate that just because he's not antisemitic, he's lost his family. All of them have gone no contact with him for over a month now. I know he's had to argue with them a hundred times over me. They've always been mad he didn't raise me Muslim. I wonder, if I hadn't been born, if that would've helped. Maybe they wouldn't be so tense and angry. Maybe his family would be nice to my mom if I weren't born, but it's too late now. I'm 17. I can't undo the past.

I miss my dad's half of the family. I miss my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins. It hurts that they won't talk to me. I can't imagine how much worse this is hurting him. Sometimes in the early morning his eyes are bloodshot like he's been crying, even if he doesn't say anything to me. He's trying to be the cheerful person he always is. He doesn't want me to worry. But how can I not worry about him? Stress makes cardiac issues worse and he's had heart issues in the past. I want him to be okay.

Sometimes I feel this big, overwhelming sense of emotions I can't name, love and contentment and value, knowing he chose us over his family. Then I feel guilty for being happy about that, even briefly. He shouldn't have had to choose.

He's never getting his family back. I'm never getting part of my family back. I don't know what to do with that. The weight of it is hard to bear.

I miss the way things were before.

.

[geopsych]

I want to say this

I know what it's like to have thoughts of death and I know how they can rise up at times like this. Listen, please, friends who feel these new days ahead as a threat, believe me when I say we need you more than ever! Don't take your soft self from us and leave us with them. For every corrupt politician we need hundreds of you to balance the world to a better place. For every racist we need countless people of color to keep our humanity and our nations whole. For every bigot we need legions of trans and gay and bi and nonbinary, furries, the full rainbow of people, to keep brilliance and joy in the world. Don't let their words make you do their work for them. Stay and join us and be like bees, seeking the nectar of the world wherever it is. Helping each other, brightening one another's days. Keep making art and having fun and being kind and most of all being the you-est you. Because that's what we need most of all. The world only gave us one of you and neither you nor us have had a chance to see all the secret magics and Easter eggs hidden in you. We need them all. We need your smile. We may need your determination. Yes, times seem hard but together we are the answer. All the weird ones and the autists and the ADHD people and recovering addicts, all the people on the edges are the ones we need to stand with our spirits against conformity and darkness. I may not know you but I know your heart and it is the sweetest taste ever. Stay in the world with us. We need you. <3

[ms-demeanor]

pro-Israeli bigot pig.

I got this ask after making a post saying that you should support Palestinian liberation without reblogging literal Nazis.

Saying "don't reblog literal nazis" is not an anti-Palestine rallying cry. Saying "ceasefire now" and "end Israeli apartheid" is not a call for violence against Jewish people.

I cannot believe that I have to spell that out.

Anyway, if you'd like to support Palestine, consider donating to the Middle East Children's Alliance. If you're concerned that Palestinians who speak out in favor of Palestinian liberation in the US are losing their jobs or having their speech restricted, consider donating to Palestine Legal.

If you're ever worried that you don't know who to give your money to in a crisis, it's hard to go wrong with a donation to Doctors Without Borders; MSF has been providing care in Palestine since 1989 and have doctors currently working in Palestine.

If you don't have money to spare and you are in the US, please continue to call your representatives and put pressure on them to demand a ceasefire in Palestine.