#like don’t get me wrong. these are VERY different source materials/genres so I wouldn’t expect them to Become Fans at any point

[bites-and-bubblegum]

You’re right! And I’m not gonna post this ask in full. But I do want to respond very generally to how we as a fandom have behaved:

I get the excitement guys (I was just doing my fair share of yelling in the tags lol), but we CANNOT be sending threats/hate over a goddamn poll of all things. We shouldn’t be sending threats or hate PERIOD.

I can’t speak for my cohost, but Jack I’m sure you won’t mind me saying that we’re also pretty big fans of Good Omens too! Both of our ships are great! And both of our fandoms are very very large too.

There are always going to be toxic fans in any fandom. Don’t let yourself be one of them. Block users/tags when necessary. Spread positivity. When it’s time to engage critically, do so with respect for your fellow human being.

First and foremost we’re all here to have fun. Let’s KEEP IT FUN guys

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Dimitrescu Daughter HCs

I thought this would only take a few minutes. I was so, so very wrong. Anyway, some of these are somewhat exclusive to my fic (Serenade), but they’ll make sense even if you haven’t read that.

Daniela:

Others have already talked about how Daniela reads a ton of romance novels, so I’m not really going to go into that very much, just saying that I agree 100%, I mean c’mon, it’s practically canon.

While she mainly sources books from her family’s library, there are a few she’s “acquired” over the years that she keeps locked away in her room. These tend to be a bit, ahem, steamier than her mother would approve of/let her read under normal circumstances.

How did she get these? Well, there has to be someone who delivers goods to Castle Dimitrescu (Duke, perhaps?), seeing as the Maidens need, like, actual food to survive. Sometimes Daniela manages to convince them to order books for her, usually just asking for books by authors she likes, or ones she’s heard maidens whispering about.

No, the delivery person does not read the book’s summaries or reviews, they have a feeling (based on titles and covers alone) that they don’t want to know.

As for her experiences with actual romance… she’s so very, very excited about it, all the time. Wants to kiss every cute Maiden she sees, and sometimes daydreams about a beautiful woman fleeing from lycans who comes to the castle for shelter, clinging to Dani for warmth and protection, and it’s love at first sight, and they kiss and kiss and right as it gets to the good part-! Someone interrupts her daydream (usually Cassandra).

However, her actual experiences are fairly limited. Sure, she has kissed Maidens, but she tends to get over excited. Like in Serenade, she starts to rush the process, and usually ends up draining her “lover” aka victim before anything more intimate happens.

She’s definitely done sexual things, just, well, not with other people. Private things. Usually during or after reading one of her special books. You get the picture.

Because of this, and her aforementioned love of romance novels, Daniela has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of her first time. She wants everything to be perfect. The setting, the timing, who she’s with… Hence her reaction in chapter 3 of Serenade. It’s not that she didn’t want to continue, just that the circumstances didn’t feel right. She’s very particular!

Favorite Music Genre: Girl goes wild for an emotional, gut-wrenching love/power ballad. The type to lie in bed and cry while listening to Hozier or Lorde (not that she can hear either of them, considering her limited music options). Doesn’t admit it, though, and mostly listens to indie pop when other people can hear. That and whatever the Maiden plays on piano ;)

Okay it feels weird to joke about her loving music I wrote, anywayyyy

Hobbies: Other than reading there’s not too much I can see her doing, really. She’d be sure to get into anything that her s/o enjoys, though, even if it’s something difficult or time-consuming. Writing is something she’d love, but it’s difficult for her to keep her focus on just one project at a time. Ideally she’d write short stories, romantic ones obvs, and have someone else proofread/edit them. For the most part she’d write within fantasy and historical setting (seeing as she’s got experience in both of those departments).

ADHD, BABY. Bigtime, seriously. Maybe this is just my adhd ass projecting, but I can’t not see her as having it. For her it mainly manifests with hyper-focusing/difficulty staying on task. It’s like a switch with those on either end, flipping back and forth every once in a while. She can spend six hours reading two different books in one sitting, but if someone just breathes too loudly it disrupts her completely. Because of this she’s somewhat prone to abandoning projects. It’s a sore subject for her, and her sisters are aware, normally only bringing it up if they’re really angry with her.

Opinions on the four lords: Thinks Heisenberg is a tool (pun intended), also thinks that he secretly reads super erotic novels. She doesn’t have any proof, though, and would never say anything about it out loud. Just makes fun of him in her head. Doesn’t actually judge him for what she thinks he reads, just judges his personality and the “need he feels to hide his secret”. Loves Donna, and low-key thinks she’s attractive. Daniela mostly bases that off the portrait she’s seen, but, like many fans, also thinks the hands are nice. The puppets don’t bother her, though she also doesn’t really care about them, other than thinking that Donna interacting with them is cute.

Opinions continued: Moreau is… uh… fish boy. Daniela thinks he’s weird, kinda gross, and hardly considers him a “real” lord. Poor boy :(  At least she doesn’t actively make fun of him?... Even if that’s only because she kinda forgets about him most of the time. As for Lady Dimitrescu, well, obviously Daniela loves her mom. The whole family is very close, and as the “youngest”, Daniela gets a lot of attention. Sometimes she thinks her mother is too strict, but at the end of the day there’s no love lost.

Bela:

Cleans up after her sisters a lot, but still nowhere near as much as any of the Maidens do. Often agrees to help with messes in exchange for blackmail material. “Oh, Daniela, what a shame you broke mother’s favorite dish… I could help, but you owe me one.” At the end of the day, though, there’s plenty she would slide.

Being the “oldest”, she’s expected to behave the best, and often feels more restricted than her sisters. Being an example is hard! Occasionally she’ll have the impulse to rebel, but this usually only manifests in scenarios like the one mentioned above, aka she’ll simply be more lenient of her siblings for a bit.

Overall far less sadistic than her sisters. Cares more about the quality of pain then the amount of it. Only ever goes overboard if someone full out threatens or hurts her family. Insults towards them still earn her ire, and will get her to punish someone, but it’s not enough to make her resort to torture. Usually.

Gets the most restless out of the three. As cool (and large) as the castle is, it’s all she’s ever really known. If not for her weakness to cold, she’d go out on hikes a lot. Nature interests her, fascinates her, but she’d be a little less fond of most of it in person. Like, oh, waterfalls sound so cool, followed by a hundred complaints about the noise. Thinks deer are the cutest shit ever (second only to humans, maybe).

Unlike Daniela (though that HC is relevant almost exclusively to Serenade), Bela has actually slept with a Maiden before. She doesn’t really care for them enough to consider it a relationship, instead admiring them for their entertainment value. Definitely could fall for a Maiden, simply hasn’t yet. Of the three I feel like she takes the longest to fall in love, and even longer to actually act on her feelings. Sometimes resents her siblings because they unknowingly “claimed” a Maiden that she was starting to be interested in. However, she fully acknowledges that she should have said something if she didn’t want to lose the girl, considering the situation they live in.

Favorite music genre: Classical, full orchestra style, with a soft spot for swing/jazz. Enjoys having music play softly while she reads, and is very particular about the volume. Absolutely would argue with her sisters if they tried to change the music or turn it up.

Hobbies: Reading, duh. Less interested in romance than Daniela by a considerable amount. For the most part she reads non-fiction books, enjoying learning about history and the sciences. Astronomy is at the top of her favorites list, followed by biology, then obscure (and often bloody) pieces of history. Niche=perfect. Also enjoys music, even if she had to rely mostly on self-teaching books. Knows the basics of piano, but doesn’t actively play, much preferring both the violin and harp. Most of the time she’ll only play if she knows her sisters won’t bother her, or if her mother asks her to.

Opinions on the four lords: Admires Heisenberg’s work/his edgenuity, but thinks the actual man is a temperamental child… who smells like wet dog. He’s only been at Castle Dimitrescu a couple times (per Mother Miranda’s request), and both times Bela moved to the other side of the house so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge his existence. While she would never admit it, she’s low-key creeped out by Donna’s dolls, and really only tolerates Angie. However, she would never act on her nerves, out of consideration for Donna’s feelings. She knows that her mother gets along well with the dollmaker, and keeps this at the forefront of her mind.

Opinions continued: “Moreau who? Oh, the fish guy? He’s still alive?... Good for him.” Wants to make Lady Dimitrescu proud, but not as desperately as Cassandra. Unknowingly mimics a lot of her mother’s little habits and ticks, and would be quietly embarrassed if someone pointed it out to her. As mentioned previously, she feels like she has to be an example for the others, and somewhat resents the pressure this puts on her. On the other hand, she does enjoy being “responsible for” (read: in charge of) her sisters. Additionally, she is the most likely to get away with lying to Alcina, though she does not often do so. This isn’t because she’s the most manipulative (that’s Cass), or the best liar (that’s Dani, if she’s trying), but simply because Alcina doesn’t think her oldest daughter would lie. Even if she doubts something Bela says, she’ll usually give her the benefit of the doubt… as long as it doesn’t happen very often.

Cassandra:

Sleeps the most of the three, if only because she’s the most active of them. Not as fast as the others while in swarm mode, but the fastest on foot, partially because she’s more likely to simply walk places. She knows the sound of feet on the floor scares the Maidens, and she drinks their fear with utter pleasure. Additionally she claims that it just feels nice to “stretch her legs”. But she will not hesitate to enter swarm mode when chasing someone. As fun as it is to smell their fear, she can get impatient, wanting to get close and personal to her target.

Tends to hide most of her feelings, sometimes even opting to “convert” them into anger. In other words, think of her emotional state as an ever-filling bottle of water. As things happen, she feels emotions, and the rate at which water pours into the bottle increases. Ideally if the water level started getting too high, she would address whatever is increasing the flow of water. Instead of that, she often uses anger, which is equivalent to shaking the bottle a bit and letting water messily spill out of it. Doesn’t address the actual problem, but let’s her release some pressure/free up some room.

Goes through Maidens faster than her siblings (yes, even Daniela “draining you of blood is romantic” Dimitrescu). Not all of them even die in the basement, sometimes what was supposed to be a “warning” turns into “oh shit the blood won’t stop coming out, this is how I die, in this accursed castle, no friends or family to mourn me, just the painful knowledge that I will not be the last, I will die for no cause, no glory, just the bitter whims of a blood-soaked mistress” or something along those lines.

While more likely to get attached to someone than Bela, Cassandra isn’t one to do much about it. She might flirt, might even try to kiss (or, uh, kiss while also not wearing clothes wink wink), but she won’t (usually) claim someone as her own, or protest if one of her sisters wants to have some fun with them (even if it’s the bloody kind of fun). Technically gets over breakups and “breakups” (i.e. death) easier than either of her sisters. To be fully accurate, Daniela still goes through lovers faster, but she also remembers them and cares for them for longer post-breakup.

Somewhat of a blood kink. Like, more than vampires automatically have. In intimate settings she cares more about the quantity of blood and what she can do with it (loves bloodstains) than what causes the bloodshed.

Favorite music genre: Rock ‘n roll. Leans towards older stuff, as well as heavier songs. Soft spot for symphonic metal, but doesn’t admit it out of the fear that some might consider it a “weaker form” of the genre. Almost exclusively listens to bands that have female vocalists, and gets crushes on them more than she’d ever admit.

Hobbies: Art! Painting, mostly, but dabbles in sculpture from time to time. It’s been too long since I took an art class for me to suggest a style for her paintings, but I imagine her sculptures would be somewhat abstract. Her art would revolve around emotion, the stronger and rawer the better, with viewers often being left uncomfortable. While Alcina buys plenty of art supplies for her, Cassandra is fond of improvising, especially by creating her own “tools” (of questionable efficiency) out of items she has laying around. She is absolutely the one who took her mother’s lipstick. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry, it’s just mentioned in one of the RE8 notes that Lady Dimitrescu’s valuable lipstick is missing.

Opinions on the four lords: Tolerates Heisenberg more than the rest of her family by a considerable amount. She’s seen glimpses of his work, his steampunk-adjacent style, and actually kind of digs it. While Bela cares more about the science behind his work, Cassandra just digs the aesthetic. Sometimes for her art she also needs things she can’t get from the castle, and are too obscure to get from a merchant, so she trades tools/ideas with Heisenberg in exchange for him making something for her. “Can you make a battery but whenever it’s in use it makes a horrible screaming sound?” “Yes. PS I hate your mother and Miranda.” “I didn’t fucking ask.”

Opinions continued: Doesn’t really care much about Donna, but acknowledges her as a fellow artist, and would be willing to consult her if she talked more (and talked without Angie). Cassandra hasn’t met Moreau, thankfully (he would cry). Knows about him from her sister/mother, and as a result doesn’t care about him. Internally whenever someone mentions him, she pictures, like, a Goldfish Cracker (the snack that smiles back) with legs except also it’s green and moldy.

Opinions cont.: Loves her mother so much. Determined to please her, to make her proud, but often left feeling less loved than her sisters. This strains her relationship with her family, not that she’d ever voice her feelings and talk through the issue. Let’s be real, Alcina would probably feel guilty for not realizing how Cass felt. Nonetheless, Cassandra probably spends the most time with her mother, often offering to assist her with tasks, or trying to get her to appreciate her art.

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…

pairing: vampire!ravn x reader

genre: vampire!au, angst, humour, romance, smut

warnings: blood mentions, betrayal, panic attack, secrets, sensual (?) biting, ravn could eat this girl raw and she’d probably thank him (but he’s being a gentleman, as usual), kink discussion, self-doubts, fears, lots of kissing, y/n recites poetry again, swearing (like twice), fingering, blowjob, possessiveness

word count: 2.4k

author’s note: i just wanted to give yall something nice before all hell breaks loose. enjoy

part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part four 🌙 part five 🌙 part six 🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part ten🌙 part eleven 🌙part twelve 🌙 epilogue

The minute you opened the door to Ravn’s castle, your current home, you ran into his arms and started crying inconsolably.

“Y/N, what happened?” he asked you and stroked your back in an attempt to comfort you.

“You were right,” you choked out. “Leedo was that wolf…that werewolf who followed me.”

“Did he confirm it?” Ravn felt the need to know.

“Not really,” you admitted. “But when I mentioned that night, he said ‘so that’s what you did to escape’. He said it in such a way that I just knew it was him. You should have seen his face,” you explained and you shuddered at the thought.

“So you don’t have any material proof?”

You shook your head weakly.

“But I should have trusted you,” you insisted. “I was such an idiot.”

“Does he suspect you know he’s a werewolf?” your boyfriend completely ignored your momentary self-bullying because he was more concerned about your life being intact.

“I don’t think so,” you murmured anxiously. But he knew you had a boyfriend. And that you lived close to the forest. How could you tell Ravn that you’d accidentally let it slip? Your heart was beating so rapidly you feared it would come out of your chest any second. You were completely terrified. Not of being killed, no, that didn’t scare you in the slightest. Your biggest fear was disappointing Ravn. Letting him down would be worse than death itself, you thought.

“What are you not telling me?” Ravn whispered coldly.

“H-how did you know?” you asked, suddenly feeling so feeble and pathetic.

“I can hear your blood pumping faster in your veins. It’s a bit distracting, to be honest,” Ravn chuckled and caressed your neck teasingly.

“Are you hungry?” you didn’t want to neglect his needs.

“Don’t try to change the subject,” your boyfriend scolded you. “What are you keeping from me?”

You looked away from him guiltily and made a poor attempt at escaping his soft touch, but he held you down as swiftly as you’d tried to flee.

“Y/N…how am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you’re not talking to me?”

Oh, no. He thought he was the one at fault. How could you break his heart like this? You somehow gathered the courage to face him again.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Ravn,” you reassured him. “It is me who fucked up. I…told Leedo that I have a boyfriend and that we live close to the forest.”

Ravn swallowed nervously but didn’t interrupt you, instead choosing to let you finish.

“I didn’t tell him your name or that you’re a vampire,” you immediately defended yourself, without waiting to be attacked, trying to make it sound as if your mistake wasn’t that fatal. “And it’s not like I was bragging about you, it just slipped unintentionally, I swear!”

Ravn grabbed your arms. For a brief moment, you thought he would just get it over with. Nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

“Y/N, breathe,” he was trying to calm you down. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“But the ground rules…”

“Are for your safety rather than mine,” Ravn informed you. “I’ve lived hundreds of years. Even a whole pack of werewolves cannot scare me,” he smirked confidently and you had to confess, you found that very attractive of him.

“There has to be something that scares you. Everyone has fears,” you pointed out reasonably.

“The only thing that terrifies me is losing you,” your boyfriend ran a hand across your cheek.

“So, turn me,” you immediately offered a solution to his one fear. “If you make me like you, you will never have to lose me.”

Ravn pulled away from you.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he said and added, jokingly. “And besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to spend eternity with me. It can grow very boring.”

“Don’t you trust me?” you teased him. “I would stay with you forever if given the chance.”

Ravn smiled softly.

“Well, it’s not up to you, is it?”

You huffed in annoyance but decided it wasn’t in your favour to act like a brat. You didn’t deserve anything. Not after what you had done…

“So…you’re not mad at me?” you inquired, testing the waters.

“Would you still be breathing if I were really mad at you?” Ravn joked in a gentle manner.

“Can’t argue with that one,” you sighed. “But seriously. I’m genuinely sorry for letting it slip that you live close to the forest. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to you.”

“We,” he corrected you.

“Huh?”

“We live close to the forest. You shouldn’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. But can you? You need to work harder on your self-preservation instincts.”

“But I don’t need to. You can take care of me, instead,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, perfectly playing the damsel in distress role.

Ravn proved you wrong. With one brisk movement, he twirled you around and tightened his hold on you, his teeth dangerously close to your neck.

“You shouldn’t count on a cold-blooded animal like me to take care of you,” he hissed next to you. You would have trembled if you weren’t so embarrassingly turned on by his words. You simply closed your eyes, anticipating his fangs to pierce your neck. You were left with a shocking sensation of unfulfillment and disappointment when this didn’t happen.

“You’re such easy prey, it’s no fun,” Ravn complained and let go of you.

You gave him a sad and dissatisfied look.

“Do you want me to run around the castle like an idiot?”

“I’d rather you didn’t let me get away with using you for blood.”

You furrowed you brows in confusion.

“But…that was the initial arrangement?” you reminded him. “You let me stay, I let you drink from me.”

“I know that,” Ravn spat out, getting frustrated for some reason. “But the arrangement didn’t mention anything about a change in dynamics. We didn’t expect there’d be feelings involved.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“You’re my girlfriend. It isn’t right of me that I’m also using you as a food source.”

“But I like it,” you enunciated slowly.

“Why?” Ravn seemed sincerely dumbfounded by your admission.

“Why do you like drinking my blood?” you challenged him. “I just do, I don’t have a particular reason for it.”

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“I like drinking your blood, because I’m a vampire, love. Or did you forget that?”

You chuckled idiotically.

“Semantics. Whatever the cause, why can’t we just both enjoy ourselves? And each other…”

Ravn shrugged.

“Since you’re making it so hard for me to resist you,” he groaned and dug his teeth into your neck without much warning. You didn’t need it, though. By now, you had grown accustomed to his primal instincts and the way he shifted so abruptly from calm and peaceful to lethal and animalistic. It was refreshing that even when he continuously surprised you, there was still a large part of him that just felt so…familiar. Like home.

A couple of minutes later, Ravn stopped feeding from you, leaving a sort of emptiness inside you. The sensation of giving him your blood felt so strangely intoxicating that sometimes you found yourself wishing it could last forever. However, you knew that wasn’t very sensible, because then, you’d bleed out to death. And you were certain neither you nor Ravn would enjoy that very much.

He pressed a piece of cloth against your neck to stop the bleeding and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. You looked up at him, completely awestruck by his cold beauty.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured apologetically, somewhat ashamed of his actions.

“What for? It’s only natural,” you responded quietly.

“Damnit, Y/N, there is nothing natural about my existence.”

“Stop,” you said, determined to change his mind.

Ravn simply blinked at you in confusion.

“Stop acting like I’m supposed to view you as some sort of monster, because you’re not,” you explained, getting aggravated by the way he disregarded himself. “There is no one else I’d rather be with than you. You’ve given me more than you could possibly imagine. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, okay? I wish every minute with you could last eternity, Ravn. So, please, stop saying such morbid things about your existence. If anything, I am grateful for it.”

Your boyfriend’s eyes filled with tears and for a short while he allowed himself to be vulnerable, let them fall down his cheeks like tiny raindrops. You didn’t know vampires could cry. And yet, why not? They were human once…Instead of saying anything, Ravn pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head in such a gentle way that made you feel so protected, so special. Then, he lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you hid your face in his chest, feeling ever so small. When he laid you down, you could swear you were minutes away from melting into a puddle. His lips met yours halfway, eager to be closer, to get as much from one another as you possibly could.

“You’re so warm,” he murmured into your mouth and caressed your cheek gently.

“And you’re so cold,” you reminded him needlessly.

Ravn shrank away from your touch, his gaze pained; he was obviously offended by you pointing out how his freezing skin affected you.

“No, no, don’t take it the wrong way,” you were quick to reassure his anxiety. “I like that about you. Opposites attract, remember?”

Ravn seemed quite upset by your words. You had intended to ease his mind, but instead…you kept saying the wrong things.

“Would you not like me if I were human? If I were…warm?”

You shook your head.

“I would like you even if you were a volcano, as long as you’re still you. I mean…your personality,” you insisted.

“Really?” Ravn was surprised by the closest thing you’d come to a confession. “You’d stay?”

You nodded adamantly.

“Of course I would! But…there’s no way of finding out, right?” as far as you were aware vampirism was incurable.

“Right,” he confirmed curtly. “Now, where were we?”

You smirked and traced a line across his cheek with the help of your finger.

“Somewhere very, very nice,” you whispered. “My love is like to ice and I to fire.”

“You know your Spenser, my sweet love,” Ravn praised you and attacked your neck. Not with his fangs but with soft kisses. This was it, then? You were going to die from embarrassment.

“I do quite enjoy him, I admit,” you mumbled absent-mindedly.

“Oh? Tell me, darling, who do you enjoy more? Him…” Ravn pulled away from your neck, which caused you to whimper helplessly at the sudden emptiness you felt. “Or me,” and with that he returned his attention to you, sneaking a hand between your thighs. You were begging and moaning uncontrollably at this point, but because you were an incorrigible brat, you couldn’t help but tease him:

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it, maybe even do some research.”

“Research, huh?” Ravn chuckled and curled his long fingers inside of you. “Allow me to provide you with a primary source. To make your research more…hm…satisfying.”

“F-fuck,” you feebly let out the most corrupt sounds imaginable.

“That’s not very academic of you, love,” your boyfriend laughed into your neck, sending sudden vibrations to your body that further augmented your pleasure.

“I’m s-sorry,” you stammered.

“Sorry?” Ravn mocked you playfully. “Look at yourself, darling. You’re not sorry at all.”

You sneaked a peak at your already trembling legs and his beautiful arm discovering the secret realms between them. You cringed at your display of weakness, but the vampire immediately noticed your expression and made you feel comfortable again.

“Relax, love. Can you do that for me? Can you let yourself go, hm?”

You affirmed, eager to prove that you could do that, you could do anything he asked of you. Seconds later, you reached your high, coming all over his fingers, as he held you down with his lips still on your neck. You had seen galaxies in photographs but they were nothing like the galaxies you saw in front of your eyes in that brief moment, which slipped away as quickly as it had arrived.

“You…you’re trying to kill me,” you giggled.

“Au contraire, my darling, I would like you to lead a long, happy existence in my arms. If you allow me to take care of you, that is.”

“What, you expected me to say ‘no’ to that?” you continued laughing, eternally amused by the way he expressed himself.

“It pleases me immensely that you keep saying ‘yes’.”

You smiled smugly, an idea suddenly forming in your head.

“Now it’s my turn to make you say ‘yes’,” you told him and escaped his grasp swiftly, pushed him down onto the bed and began unbuckling his belt.

“You don’t h-have to…” Ravn spoke softly.

“Shut up. I want to,” you insisted and made your way downwards, planning on kissing every inch of him. Once you’d reached your final destination, you looked up at him, as if asking for permission to continue.

“What’s wrong?” Ravn asked you, visibly concerned.

“N-nothing, I’m just making sure you want me to…”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he blinked at you in surprise.

You didn’t press him for further information and gingerly licked the tip of his cock.

“S-shit,” Ravn groaned and held onto your hair tightly. You were shocked to find out his action thrilled you. You glanced up to see his eyes half-shut. You wrapped your lips around his length and did your best to bring him as much pleasure as he’d given you. He whimpered beneath your touch, which would have caused you to smirk if your mouth wasn’t so full. You moved your head up and down, aiming at fastening your pace and it wasn’t long before he warned you that he was close and that you might want to pull away. However, you had quite different intentions and stayed put, swallowing every last drop of him.

“You look like a vision,” Ravn told you.

You blushed and giggled simultaneously because you very much doubted the validity of his statement.

“I’m literally a mess right now,” you pointed out.

“But you’re mine,” Ravn responded, the hint of possessiveness making you feel more desired and needed than ever. “You’re my beautiful mess.”

To be continued…

[jincherie]

tentacledipity | four

tentacledipity | four

➛pairing: jimin x reader

➛genre: alien au, space au, soulmate au, wanted au, smut (coming)

➛rating: sfw

➛words: 8.1k

➛warnings: none! well, a sprinkle of grinding and tentacle mentions but other than that *shrugs*

➛notes: finished this in the early hours of the morning so please dont mind any spelling or grammar mistakes if there are any pls & thank u!! also thank u for being so patient, uni isn’t kicking my ass per se but it’s definitely taking up a lot of my time these days! i hope u all like the next does of tentacle adventures!

ps; I will add links at a later date! pls enjoy & lmk what u think!

This tale starts, as any good fiction does, with a girl crash landing on a foreign planet. And, like any good fiction, it follows a theme of serendipitous happening, and tentacles. Behold, serendipity and tentacles— or dare we call it…. tentacledipity.

— posted; 23.04.2019 // ↞ prev. || four || next ↠

“What, you’re not even going to try and stop me?”

At your question, the two males shared an exasperated look.

“Well, no,” Jongin answered plainly, pointing an accusatory finger your way as he narrowed his eyes halfheartedly. “What is the point? You are just going to get away, anyway.”

Your incredulous gaze was drawn to Jongdae next, as he continued where his partner left off. He seemed entirely too pleased with himself, lips curled in a smug, kittenish grin and his expression sly, marks coloured light yellow. “Besides, we are no longer required to watch you. We have been relieved of our duties. Which, personally, I am more than glad for. I think I have aged more than ten sweeps from the stress alone of trying to keep track of you. Really, are all humans so slippery?”

“No, probably not. Just me.” You shrugged in answer, before his earlier words caught your attention and you gaped. “Wait—what do you mean ‘relieved of your duties’? I’m free?”

Jongin shrugged, stretching indolently across the cushioned swing that you’d found him and Jongdae reclining on, out on a patio near your rooms, when you’d attempted to sneak out of the wing. Now that you thought about it, they did have a particularly carefree air right now, something you weren’t really expecting considering how wired you’ve seen them some days.  Jongdae swung one leg over the other, completely lax. The action left you in a state of shock, almost.

You continued to sputter for a moment, your brain unable to comprehend the sudden change in the status quo. Sure, this whole time you’d protested the fact that they thought you needed babysitting—ignoring the fact that it was thanks to an incident that came about thanks to you being a dumbass. But, if you weren’t under ‘watch’ anymore… who were you going to have fun evading and escaping? This was the highlight of your days sometimes, what were you going to do now that you couldn’t do it anymore? This felt like a big disruption to the routine you’d established here.

“Do not know, do not care,” Jongdae smiled at you. “We have not been told what will be happening.”

“Wh-what so I’m just, I’m just supposed to sneak around and pretend there are people trying to catch me?” you burst, feeling a little indignant. They should have consulted you first! This was unfair. “Who am I supposed to torment when I’m bored? Who am I supposed to trick with sweets and flee while they’re distracted?!”

Jongin lurched forward, eyes wide. “So you ADMIT that you did that to trick us!”

“No!” you wailed, mournfully. You turned away, dramatic as they likely expected you to be. “They were friend gifts… but I guess they mean nothing now. I’m… I’m leaving. I’m ending my friendship with you two. I’ll…I’ll find some other guard friends— better guard friends— who will chase me as long as I want them to!”

You stomped your foot, fighting a smile at the sound of their barely restrained snorts. You give them a half-hearted glare over your shoulder before turning and yelling, “Don’t look for me! You won’t find me!”

The second you started to walk away they could no longer hold their laughter and the sound of it makes you grin as you retreat down the hall, not bothering to try and sneak as you had earlier now that you knew no one was there to catch you. It was oddly liberating, to be honest, and you didn’t quite know what to do with the freedom. Maybe that’s because even when they were ‘watching’ you, you weren’t exactly restricted. Really, it was a wonder Jimin made them try for so long when it clearly had little to no effect.

Your arms swung a bit as you walked, a bounce in your step. You can’t even remember where you were going in the first place now. It wouldn’t surprise you at all if you didn’t even have a destination in mind when you left your room, actually. You’d been a bit lost in your thoughts lately.

There was a certain someone to blame for it.

As usual, the source of your dilemmas and deep-thinking was the ever-elusive Mister Jimin. Except, after the events of the other night in the hall, which were still painfully fresh in your memory, he had lost his right to the ‘elusive’ title. He hadn’t been bothering to try and avoid you any longer, something that kind of made you want to scream. It was what you wanted, yes, but not quite so soon and so intensely. You’d been in withdrawal for weeks and then he’d gone and given you such a big hit at once that you weren’t ready for it. You’d probably need another three weeks to come to terms with the male’s sudden flip that night and following one-eighty change in behaviour.

You were a little ashamed and excited to admit that he’d completely turned the tables and now you were the one frazzled and flustered. You couldn’t see his face in the halls—an alarmingly much more common occurrence after that night—without thinking of how it had felt when he pushed you to the wall, the way his body slotted so perfectly against yours. Every time your thoughts strayed to the memory the very same butterflies you felt that night returned with renewed vigour and you were flustered all over again.

Was this how he felt? All those times you tried so hard to fluster him? God, perhaps you were more annoying than you initially accepted.

You weren’t sure how you felt about the fact that the dynamic between you had shifted so suddenly and so sharply. Admittedly, that night if he had asked you to get on you hands and knees you wouldn’t have even blinked before doing so. The look in his eyes, the tone of his voice…. They brought out a side of you that didn’t see the light of day that often. Honestly, you’d spent a lot of nights reflecting on what happened and you’d since realised that there wasn’t much that you wouldn’t let that man do to you.

Even so, you weren’t a submissive person by nature, despite your inclination in the bedroom, and you really didn’t want him to think that was the case. You wanted to give back as good as you got, and every time you left your room you steeled yourself to doing so should you run across him.

Except it was a little easier said than done. Despite your affirmations, the second you caught sight of him the butterflies would return and you’d turn tail and run. It was shameful, and you were incredibly embarrassed at your own behaviour. Your mother didn’t raise a coward! It was just that, perhaps, you were a little more rattled and flustered than you allowed yourself to believe.

You realised you needed to be more firm with yourself, though. You needed to make yourself stay and interact with him or you’d never get over the ridiculous butterflies or the way your heart flipped and your pulse started to race. Again, today, you steeled yourself and resolved yourself to sit through the suffering if you happened to run into him again. At the slight tone of flustered panic that ran through you at the thought, you were quick to reassure yourself that it actually wasn’t that likely you’d run into him at all.

Well, historically you had been prone to being proven wrong when assuming such things and today wasn’t an exception.

In your wandering of the halls like a ghost with unresolved business in the material plane, looking for something to entertain yourself with, you happened to walk past a room that had a number of funky sounds coming from within. Intrigued and able to smell entertainment from probably a mile away, you were eager to investigate once you saw that the door was slightly ajar.

When you pushed it open, you quickly realised that you probably should have waited and listened to the sounds a bit more first. But, well, you were nothing if not an idiot and at this point, you were at peace with it.

“Stop! Stop, I am too old for this! Gods, Jiminie, where do you get all this energy from?!”

Confused as to exactly what you just walked into, you leant against the doorframe as you watched Seokjin bend over slightly with his hands on his knees to brace himself. He was wearing a different sort of clothing than you’ve seen before, the fit and material resembling more fitness-wear than anything. His breath came in short pants, apparently winded from whatever he and the other male had been doing before you walked in. Which, you realised quickly from the weapons along the wall and the cushioning along the ground, was… fighting?

Seokjin rattled something out in his native tongue and Jimin burst into laughter from where he stood, stretching a few feet away. He was dressed similarly to Seokjin and god if it wasn’t the most mouth-watering image you’d ever seen in your entire life. Deep blue material complimented his honey skin and raven hair perfectly, not that you thought there would be a colour that didn’t suit Jimin. His marks were a delighted summer yellow and the apples of his cheeks were flushed in slight exertion. Seokjin was in a similar state but unfortunately for him you were too whipped for Jimin to appreciate it as you should have.

Jimin said something you couldn’t understand to the elder male, who burst out loudly in response, “I have duties, you @#&@)#! Not all of us can do whatever we want, you know, I am the one stuck with the royal duties today! Find someone else to help you.”

Jimin was grinning, but seemed a bit disappointed at Seokjin’s answer to whatever he had said. A part of you wandered exactly what Seokjin had called him and you regretted that you didn’t know much kelkoe at all. Seokjin let out a pained noise as he stretched, closing his eyes, and all of a sudden you were overcome with the realisation that you were in the same room, in very close proximity, with Jimin.

Instantly, as you expected, the butterflies returned full-force to barrage the walls of your stomach. The sudden nerves made you feel bit nauseous and at once you felt the familiar urge to turn tail and flee.

No, you bit back the flight aspect of your fight or flight response. No, you said you wouldn’t run, and you wouldn’t. You needed to claim back a bit of control in the new dynamic you’d found yourself in with Jimin and damn it if you didn’t do it now then you never would. So, you did what you usually did whenever you had to do something not so desirable to you at the time and turned your brain off.

“Find someone to help him with what?”

The attention of the two males was instantly on you, Seokjin instantly appearing a cross between amused and sly. You didn’t like that one bit, and quickly raked your eyes over the other male. A mistake—he was surprised at first but the way his features melted into a curious look and his eyes darkened into molten pools almost made your knees week, like you were experiencing your first crush all over again. God, damn it. This was harder than you anticipated. You couldn’t help but wonder if he recalled the events of the other night upon seeing you, like you did every time you saw him.

“Sparring,” Seokjin supplied a little too merrily, and it was almost like you could see the cogs turning in his head. “Kelkie have a lot of restless energy, so it is common practice and customary to have a sparring partner.”

“You two are sparring partners?” you queried, trying desperately to appear much less nervous than you were. Your voice didn’t tremble, so that was something, and at least you weren’t blushing. Yet.

Seokjin’s lips curled into a sly simper. “No, Jimin’s sparring partner is the King, actually. But, since His Majesty is still on leave and Jimin has had an awful lot of… pent up energy, lately, I have taken to being his partner in the meantime.”

Jimin shot the older male a glare at his words, and you couldn’t deny the stupid ripple of giddy hope that dared to bubble within you for a moment. You thought he’d say something to protest his words, anticipating banter, but were caught off guard when his gaze simply returned to you and you felt like you were suddenly in the spotlight once more. Your heart stuttered—shit, damn it. Stupid attractive alien. Your brain was still turned off so that you could remain riding a wave of pretend bravery, and you scrambled to make the most of it and recover.

“So, you need someone to spar with?” You looked to Jimin, interest and excitement leaking into your tone—and it wasn’t fake, in the least, despite your nerves. You almost kicked yourself for what you said next, though, a little too brave for your current state of hidden fluster. “I used to spar with my shipmates when we had long trips, it was always a lot of fun. I’ll spar with you.”

Very bold words from you since you knew how much stronger and faster kelkie were than you—you’d witnessed it one time when you tried to fix a piece of hair that was pulling your scalp from one of Joy’s hairstyles and she’d positively vaulted across the room at breakneck speed to smack your hands away.

Seokjin positively grinned, but Jimin’s face fell into an expression of protest. His dark brows drew together, lips tugging down at the corners.

“No,” he refused immediately, “You will get yourself hurt. I cannot spar with you.”

You sputtered, indignant, and felt a bit of your usual confidence return to you as you pushed from the door and walked forward a little bit. “What? Mister Jimin… are you afraid a weak little human is going to best you in combat? I suppose I understand, the shame for you would be unbearable…”

You’d poked the bear expecting him to continue resisting and refuting you, but to your complete and utter surprise the male’s expression shifted once more, his mouth snapping shut and jaw tensing as his eyes bore into you with a new sort of intensity. That look spelt trouble for you and boy if it didn’t send the most giddy, excited shiver down your spine. Were you perhaps a masochist? This might be the time Jimin finally snapped and killed you for being annoying but you couldn’t think of anything but how hot he looked and how good it would feel even if his hand did end up around your thr—

“That is an excellent idea!” Seokjin was quick to express his avid support, but you got the feeling from the shit-eating grin that never left his flushed face that he had an ulterior motive besides backing you up like a good friend. “There you go Jimin, nip that stress in the bud. I am off now, I have many duties to attend to. Don’t play too rough, children.”

With that he bounced, leaving you and a silent Jimin in his wake. You were still reeling from the abruptness of his departure when there was movement from the corner of your eye and you whipped to see Jimin walking further into the room. You could feel a shift in the air, a new sort of tension that tingled along the base of your spine and made your breath catch. Keep it cool, keep it cool— you needed to tip the scales back into balance.

“Weapons?”

You’d begun to walk further into the room to join Jimin, but froze in your steps at the sound of his voice. It was deeper, rougher than you’d anticipated—he’s back was still to you and though you couldn’t see his face you saw the tension in his shoulders and along firm lines of his back. The shirt was slim-fitting and clung to his form everywhere except the sides where, from about halfway down, the material sported a slit. You guessed it was so he didn’t get too stuffy and so didn’t pay it any mind.

You steeled yourself, summoning some of the confidence that had returned to you so fleetingly earlier, and moved closer, stretching as you did so. “None is fine.”

His jaw ticked as he sent you a curious glance over his shoulder before giving a short nod and turning to face you better. This was the first time you’d been in his presence for longer than three seconds since that night and you felt an absolute mess with each second more that ticked over. Fuck, it was fine, everything was fine. You just had to hold it together a little longer then your nerves would wear off and you’d be back to normal. Probably.

As he settled into a loose pose, readying himself for another ‘sparring’ session, his eyes wept slowly over your form. You squared your shoulders and kept the playful smile on your lips, doing your absolute best to ignore the frantic pattering of your heart against your ribcage. You relished the way his eyes darkened as you stretched your back and your shirt rode up a sliver, providing him the barest peek of your skin. You could tell as you slipped into a loose pose of your own that from the tension he still held in his form, he wasn’t going to be using his full strength on you at all.

You had no doubt he was going to go as easy on you as he could.

But then, if he wasn’t using all his strength and speed, how would he be releasing the pent up tension that these sessions were meant to relieve? He wouldn’t be, so there must have been another reason he was about to humour you and ‘spar’ with you. Your mind ticked it over for a bare second before it registered.

He was playing chicken with you.

Something had changed in him since your last encounter, after you finally seemed to push him over a line of sorts. He was no longer resisting, no longer flustering and growing embarrassed—he was poking and prodding back just as you had done to him from the beginning.

You nearly balked at the realisation, but schooled your features just in time. He wanted to tease, to play? Well, lucky for him playing and teasing was what you did best. A wave of excitement washed over you. Your nerves all but disappeared as you resolved yourself, intending to use this opportunity and treat him as you normally would. You wondered, which one of you would bow first?

He must have noticed the changed tone of your smile, as one dark eyebrow rose in question. He tilted his head, eyes boring into you with more intensity than expected. His marks shifted colours from plum to rose, to periwinkle. A sequence that you had no idea how to decode yet still made your stomach flutter instinctively.

“Are you ready, petal?” he asked, and the nickname nearly undid all the hard work you put into reclaiming your usual mojo.

“Of course, peach cheeks,” you fired back, smiling brightly. He tried to hide it but you saw the way his lips twitched and his marks flushed deep rose. Even so, he didn’t blush, and the observation made you both giddy and eager to try and pull the reaction out of him.

“You may make the first move,” he offered, keen eyes catching every twitch of your features and shift of your body. You’d learnt from Seokjin and Namjoon that the Kelkie were a race of elite warriors, and you could tell just from looking at Jimin and the way he regarded you that he knew how to read and predict moves in battle. You knew then, that you couldn’t turn this into a game of strategy, or he would best you before you even had a chance to have fun. He was stronger and faster than you, obviously, but you didn’t want to make this too easy for him.

You nodded, taking a moment to choose how to proceed before you threw caution to the wind and moved on instinct alone. He watched, waited, coiled and ready for whatever move you might give him first.

When you dipped then lurched forward, aiming a light hit to his face, he dodged with ease. He had a bit of an unreadable expression on his face before you moved, but now that you made the first swing and he was sinking into the sparring mindset once more, an excited glint began to make itself known in his eyes.

You were right in assuming he would hold back. He weaved out of the way, incredibly graceful, and twisted mid-movement to bring his knee up, aiming for your middle. He was fast, but you knew he could be faster—with an amused huff you slipped out of the way and took a few light steps back before darting forward once more to try and jab his ribs. Like that, the two of you began to fall into a pattern.

Something about sparring always set your blood alight, and you could tell the same was the case for the alien dodging and weaving your light-hearted swings. The thought excited you, and you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from your throat as he swung and you spun out of the way just in time. You continued like that for the next few minutes, grinning uncontrollably at the sound of the huff he’d let out each time you dodged. So far, despite your occasional swings, you had been on the defensive. Even then, there was no heat or urgency behind his attacks. You wanted him to put a little more effort in.

His breath sped up the longer the two of you moved, his expression morphing. Slippery was how the guards had described you, and slippery was what you proved to be now. He was holding back almost all of his strength and speed, but he still should have been able to grasp you with ease. Yet each time he threw a hit or reached to grab you, you would dip and dodge, dancing out of the way. His stomach gave an excited flutter, the muscles of his back tingling. That was what this was—the way you were moving and interacting with him, reading his movements enough to flee but not to counter, with enough push and pull that it kept him on his toes…

It was like the two of you were dancing.

It was nothing like sparring with his own kind, yet he felt his heart stutter and kick into a higher gear in excitement nonetheless. You had a habit of making everything so exhilarating. The more you pulled back only to push lightly, prodding him and luring him to make a move for your gain, the more he felt himself slip into it. He was no longer moving with the intent to humour you or anything along those lines—he felt it, deep within his abdomen, the knot of longing forming once more. He wanted to chase, to catch you. And with each smooth dodge and light-footed prance out of reach you performed, he felt himself growing more and more riddled with the need to fulfil that instinctive desire.

It was as though you could feel the change in him, the longer the two of you tangled. You could sense a shift and, true to your nature, immediately went to exploit it.

“You’re so slow, peach cheeks!” you let out a breathless giggle as he lurched fluidly and tipped his body in a roundhouse kick of sorts. You ducked, darting forward and trying to land a hit on his gut as he righted himself. “Are you sure you beat Seokjin? You barely—”

The male didn’t even need to respond, as your smug tone was cut off the second his hand flew to grasp your fist before it could make contact with him. Your heart lurched into your throat, breath catching, as he adjusted his grip and tugged you forward, completely off balance. You crashed into his chest with your own, his other hand wrapping around your wrist like iron as he pulled them both behind your back with ease. You were arched into him with your heart racing, stomach flipping. He stared down at you with a dangerous curl to his lips.

“I thought I told you not to push so hard, petal,” his voice was so breathy and low it was absolutely sinful, a shudder rolling down your spine.  You could barely tear your eyes away from his own, heat flushing over your skin. Weak as you may be for him, you refused to give in so easily.

You felt his breath brush your face before you shoved your rapidly-returning nerves away and leant up, lips brushing his ear and the cool metal that dangled from it. Your playful tone had his grip tightening “But I like the end result.”

You felt him stiffen in shock, posture turning rigid; apparently he hadn’t been expecting that. You used this to your advantage, breaking out of his hold and snapping your hand around one of his wrists instead. You darted back then danced around him, pulling his arm with you until you were completely behind him. While he was still dazed your free hand whipped to grab his other one, pulling both behind his back and pressing against it in a mockery of the position he’d just had you in. The sound of his breath catching in his throat made your stomach dip giddily.

Deciding to push further while you had him in this position, knowing he’d snap out of it and turn the tables in the next second or so, you pressed a teasing kiss to the nape of his neck, breasts pushed to his upper back. The move was dangerous as it kept you within his reach for longer, but at the shudder you felt move through him you deemed it worth it.

Unfortunately for you, right after that reaction he jerked into action and broke his wrists out of your hold. Letting out a soft squeak of alarm that bled into a short giggle, you leapt backwards and danced out of the way as he spun and lunged for you. The dance began anew.

Except this time, Jimin had changed his tune yet again.

His marks were stained rosy-purple, shifting to wine each time he neared you. His moves became less hits and kicks, and more dives, lunges and grabs—and each time he got closer to catching you in his hold you couldn’t help the way your heart leapt in anticipation and excitement, pulse racing. The way he moved was so incredibly graceful and fluid, like a predator in its natural element, and numerous times you were so mesmerised it almost got you caught. Still, you managed to evade him, and the longer you did so the more worked up he got. Faster and faster, molten gaze never losing track of your form. You wouldn’t be able to catch him like this, you realised; you’d have to let him get close first.

You meant to lure him in purposefully, but in one of your bids to dance out of his reach you ended up stumbling over your own feet—immediately, he pounced. Your arms flew to the side in an attempt to reclaim your balance but you didn’t get the chance to follow through. Jimin dove forward, powerful thighs keeping him stable and propelling him to you faster than you could register. His hand closed around your wrist, using your arm and off-kilter state to turn you before releasing it and looping his arm firmly around your middle instead. The breath whooshed out of your lungs as you were yanked backwards, back meeting his chest as he contained you in his iron grasp. A shot of arousal spiked down your spine as his other hand whipped up to sit over your throat, grip loose but still present, thumb pressing into the soft flesh and fingers tilting your jaw up and head back.

You were sure he could feel your harried breaths, hell could probably even hear the way your heart was currently racing. Your skin was damp with the slightest layer of sweat you’d worked up from your constant movement and activity. You could feel his own breath panting against your neck, his lips and nose brushing against the sensitive shell of your ear as he dipped his head.

“What did we say about saying things like that so carelessly, petal,” his voice was a sultry combination of a lilting purr and a teasing coo, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your waist. Your hands flew to grip the forearm currently pressing against your stomach, before moving to his bicep. You attempted to shift stance and haul him over your shoulder, like you’d managed to do to old sparring partners so many times before—yet Jimin didn’t so much as budge. The thrill of being faced with such unwavering strength made your stomach dip and butterflies swarm.

You didn’t have the words to respond, instead letting out a soft gasp as he rubbed his thumb along the sensitive column of your neck. Your mind raced, thoughts stumbling over one another as you scrambled for how to proceed and what to do. He was about to win, in more ways that one, but alarmingly you couldn’t find it within yourself to care all that much. There it was again, the yearning to just give yourself over and let him have you. It was getting to be a bit like an old friend, at this rate.

Your sudden desires gave you an idea, however. You rolled your body suddenly, rocking your hips back against him and grinding your ass back oh so ‘innocently’. Unprepared and unsuspecting, the action wrought a sharp, lilting gasp from the male’s throat. You felt the way his grip weakened for the barest second and were quick to take advantage of it.

Spinning in his hold, as you pivoted on your heel you used the other to catch his ankle. The result was his knee buckling, leg knocked out from under him, and as you pushed him backwards the two of you fell to the floor in a heap. You landed atop him, as you’d intended, with your thighs either side of his slim waist and your crotch pressed over his. You were out of breath as you braced yourself on his chest, one palm flat against the top of his sternum with your fingertips brushing his throat in a mock ‘dagger’. His tongue darted to wet full lips.

“Playing dirty,” he commented in between panting breaths, eyes boring into you as his voice brushed your eardrums, thick and low—shamefully, it had your thighs tensing with the urge to close. At your almost imperceptible shift, his nostrils twitched and his pupils blew up, hands suddenly on your hips with a firm grip. He didn’t move after that, but you felt the way his entire body tensed.

“I’m not above it,” you smiled, struggling to catch your own breath. You pushed your hands from his chest, leaning back, and in the process of shifting your weight unintentionally ground your core against him. His fingers instantly dug into your hips, leaving a delicious ache in their wake, as a soft groan that almost sounded like a growl slipped from his throat.

“You—”

“Jimin-ssi, I am terribly sorry to interrupt, but Seokjin called for you—there is an issue that requires your input.”

You jumped, startled beyond belief by the sound of a voice at the doorway to the room, and scrambled off of Jimin instantly. When you turned to see just who you expected, you offered a glare. Joy smiled back, unapologetic and clearly amused at the situation she’d walked in on.

Jimin sat up, a hand coming to pat his lower back—you watched the motion, wondering exactly why he did it but unable to suss a reason out. He turned to face you, eyes dark and swirling with something you couldn’t name but that made your heart skip a beat in anticipation nonetheless, before he rose to his feet and walked coolly to the door. You weren’t ashamed to say that you stared at his ass as he went.

“Understood, let him know that I will be there soon. I have… something to take care of first.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you wondered exactly what he had to take care of, but he was slipping through the doors with a hand pressed to his back and gone before you could think to ask. You might have been confused as to what he meant, but Joy seemed to be in the loop and very amused by it.

“I see you’re making progress in wooing him,” she observed, tone playful, and you rolled your eyes as you hopped to your feet. Now that you were no longer distracted by Jimin, you could feel how sweaty and sticky you were from the whole ordeal. Ugh, exercise. A wave of embarrassment coursed through you at the sudden thought—did he notice your gross state when you were on top of him? How humiliating.

“Yeah… Maybe,” you said, dusting off your bottoms. “I’ll gossip with you later though, first thing’s first I need a shower. Do all of you really spar that often to get your energy out? In this heat?”

Joy’s eyes lit up at this titbit of information, the long raven plait down her back swinging as she tilted her head. “Oh, so that is what you were doing? Interesting take on the practice, I will admit.”

You wanted to send her another half-hearted glare but found her words too funny to be able to pull it off. A snort escaped you instead, “Hardly. He went far too easy on me for it to be considered a real spar.”

The female snorted, her marks colouring a delighted blue-green in her amusement. “I am not surprised. Jimin is faster and stronger than most kelkie so I do not imagine he would use anything close to full strength when sparring with you. Interesting that he agreed, though.”

You hummed, unsure how to process her words just yet. “Huh. Well. I’m gonna go back to my rooms and get changed, I’ll find you again later. I have some…. Questions.”

Joy raised an eyebrow but you merely offered her a grin as you left. “See you! And don’t forget to tell Seokjin whatever Jimin wanted you to.”

She rolled her eyes, muttering a curse under her breath before she gave a wave in farewell. “Goodbye. Take your time, please.”

You couldn’t help you laugh as you ventured further down the hall, “I won’t!”

x     x     x     x     x     x     x

True to your word, as soon as you were done bathing and changing you zipped off down the halls in search of her for your promised interrogation session. You were expecting it to take much longer than it did for you to actually track her down.

When you found her, it was on a balcony with Namjoon, who she appeared to be playing a board game of sorts with, and Yoongi, who was to the back napping on large cushion in the sun. He protested whenever you called him a cat and then went and acted just like one, you couldn’t help but laugh.

When she caught sight of you, Joy seemed surprised. “Oh, you really did have some questions you wanted answered, did you?”

Namjoon looked at you curiously after he moved a piece on the board, taking advantage of Joy’s momentary distraction. You wondered what he was thinking before his lips adopted a sudden sly quirk and his teasing tone greeted your ears, “Got up to some fun this morning, did we?”

You rolled your eyes, pulling out the third chair between them at the table and flopping into it with all the attitude you could muster. “I whooped Jimin’s ass in hand-to-hand combat, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Namjoon laughed and Joy snorted, the former clearly having been told what kind of scene Joy had walked in on earlier.

“By playing dirty?”

“My specialty.”

Another chuckle rumbled from his chest as he shook his head, turning back to the board. You allowed a brief moment of silence to settle over you as you watched the two of them make a move. When you couldn’t immediately figure out the point of the game, you gave up your observation.

“Anyway, about those questions I had,” you said suddenly, making the kelkie female to your right smile and shake her head. “I’ll ask them now, since you’re not busy.”

Another snort of amusement and she turned her head in your direction, dark eyes glimmering with mirth and marks glowing soft orange. “Of course, since I am not busy. Go ahead, I know it must be burning you up inside. Has it been unbearable?”

You nodded dramatically, ignoring Namjoon’s eyeroll. “Yes, incredibly so. I haven’t slept in days.”

You received another laugh for that and could barely keep your face straight as Joy shook her head, placing her elbow on the table and leaning her face into her palm. “Well, cheeky human, what is it you are curious about?”

You bit your lip, pondering what you wanted to ask first for a moment before deciding to cut to the chase. “Well, I want to know—why is it that every time I tease Jimin he runs away holding his back?”

It was an innocent enough question in your mind, but the reactions you received made you think that the answer was otherwise. Namjoon choked on his own spit, and Joy’s eyebrows shot up as she clamped her mouth shut and looked very much like she was trying not to laugh. A strangled sound from the side of the room told you that Yoongi had woken up and heard what you said.

Confused, you tilted your head. “What? What is it? Does he have back spasms or something? Wait, are your hearts in your lower back? Am I stressing him out so much he’s having heart attacks?”

To your complete and utter surprise, Namjoon’s face slowly began to turn bright red, and when you turned to peer at Yoongi you found his cheeks had coloured as well, the tips of his ears pink as he coughed and averted his gaze to the balcony. Joy was the only one who didn’t seem incredibly embarrassed at your question—on the contrary, she seemed to be having the time of her life.

“Oh, I love it when you humans ask things like this.” She was positively gleeful, grinning so wide that it actually concerned you a bit. “Your reactions are so funny.”

“What?” you pressed again, worried but also ten times more curious than before. “What is it? Come on, tell me.”

Joy, still grinning, sent Namjoon a pointed look and the male coughed, unable to meet your eyes as he cleared his throat and started, “Uh, well, y/n, you know that there are certain physiological differences between us and kelkies…”

You nodded, slightly impatient but clamping your mouth shut nonetheless in the hopes he would hurry up and continue.

“And you know, uh…” Namjoon looked like he wanted to melt into the floor, face bright pink. “Y-you know that uh, s-sometimes the differences are the ones we can’t see—”

“Spit it out, Joonie!” you couldn’t hold it in, wriggling forward on the seat and placing your palms onto the table. “Please, I’m dying to know, you can’t keep me in suspense like this—”

“y/n, you’ve seen porn, right? From Earth.”

You turned to face Yoongi at the sound of his voice, nodding as you did so. “Yeah, I have. Why? You need some? I had a USB of it with me on the ship, I can go look for it if you want—"

Namjoon choked, coughing and smacking his chest. You ignored him for the moment as Yoongi’s cheeks seemed to darken before he swallowed and continued. “So. Have you seen uh… you’ve seen Japanese animated porn?”

You stared at him plainly for a second, wondering if he was serious. “Uh… yes? Of course I have, I was a teenager too—”

Namjoon let his head slam onto the table with a loud groan, Joy letting out a delighted peal of laughter. Yoongi steeled himself and pushed on. “S-so you know, in the… in Japanese animated porn…”

“Say it for what it is, Yoongi,” you said. “Hentai.”

For a second the urge to kill you flickered in his gaze but he seemed to wrangle it quicker than usual. He let out a great, anguished sigh. “Why do I even bother—have you seen tentacle porn or not?”

“Of course I have, what does that have to do with—” you stopped short, his words ticking over in your head for a few seconds before your jaw dropped and you spun to face Namjoon and Joy with wide eyes and warmed cheeks. “No—oh my god, really?! Holy—”

Namjoon made a strangled, mortified noise and Joy burst into laughter once more as you stumbled over your words, a mess of thoughts zipping around in your poor monkey brain. As utterly shocked as you were in this moment, in a sense you also weren’t that surprised and, shamefully, the knowledge sent something akin to a shiver of excitement down your spine. Wow, you were really a bit depraved, huh? Then again, if you paid attention to the raunchy shit you watched in your teen years (and, if you were being honest with yourself, probably would still watch now if you had it) it would have been a bit telling.

“Oh my god,” you slammed your hands onto the table, on the absolute edge of your seat. “You guys have tentacles? For real? Where? How many? Do both males and females have them, or only—”

“Slow down, y/n,” Joy snorted, withdrawing from the table for a moment to recline comfortably in her chair. She crossed one leg over the other, seeming incredibly tickled. “One question at a time, or I will revoke your question-asking rights.”

You let out a horrified gasp, before instantly snapping your mouth shut and letting her answer the questions you fired at her so rapidly.

“To answer your first question, yes, kelkie do have extra appendages utilised in intercourse. We call them #%&$*@ but you humans describe them as tentacles and that seems to be easier for you to say, so we go with that.” At the sound of a foreign kelkoe word your mind blanked for a moment, but the rest of her words quickly sank in. Namjoon and Yoongi were still dying of embarrassment in the background, and you were a little embarrassed yourself but was by far overpowered by your burning curiosity.

“They’re used specifically for sex?!” you couldn’t help yourself, unable to contain your questions. Obviously, when one hears tentacles they think of certain scenarios, but you didn’t want to just assume. Learning that that was what they were literally for though… god, if it wasn’t enough to make you sweat like a sinner in church.

You could have sworn you heard Yoongi mutter, “I should have known she’d be horny for tentacles, who am I kidding,” under his breath in the background, but ignored it in favour of watching Joy’s features as she compiled a response for you.

“Yes, they are reproductive organs,” she said, a sly smile curling her shapely lips as she easily pinpointed the direction your thoughts were going. “Additional ones to those that some have found we have in common.”

You blushed, but still said what you thought as soon as it entered your mind. “Oh—I—two sets?”

Joy nodded, still very much amused. “Yes—and that is to confirm what you asked earlier, as well. Both males and females have them, but females have less.”

You let that sink in for a moment, mulling over the sudden overload of information, before your mind caught on to a certain detail that it had glossed over earlier and you balked. “Wait—you said you ‘some found’? Who…?”

At your words, both males in the room seemed to shrink in their seats, eyes everywhere but meeting your own. Joy snickered and they flushed bright red. A cackled built in your chest as realisation began to sink in.

“We have had a few celebrations and festivals in the time since the Queen’s crew arrived—you humans like to enjoy yourselves, don’t you?” She might have been teasing you as well as the other two males in the room, but you weren’t ashamed enough of your libido for it to have any effect. At this point, you’d been openly horny for Jimin for a while.

“Oh my god,” you whispered under your breath, eyes flicking between the two sheepish-looking males. The insinuation of what the extra appendages meant for their extracurricular romping in the sheets… you blushed.

Eager to return to your earlier line of questioning, lest you lose the opportunity altogether and they changed the subject, you forced yourself to turn back to a grinning Joy.

“So uh, where are they?” you inquired, somewhat gingerly. It would seem you had some tact left, after all. Joy snorted at your manner and tapped her fingers on the table, marks a cool, light blue.

“They are in two lines along the lower portion of the spine,” she informed you, tilting her head and watching your expression keenly. She smiled the second she saw you make the connection between what she said and what you saw. At your questioning look, she continued, “Yes, that has to do with why Jimin, ah… holds his lower back when you tease him. For the most part, they are hidden. They aren’t appendages that we have entire control over, and in many senses it is as though they have a mind of their own, following our base instincts and urges. When a kelkie experiences a certain amount of stimulation or arousal, they are prone to appearing.”

She gave you a moment for the information to sink in before you made the connection she was waiting for. “Oh, oh—wait so—so every time he slaps a hand to his back and runs away its just because I made him pop a tentacle boner?”

The female raised a brow at your choice of words but seemed to understand the slang enough to snort and nod her head. You heard Namjoon and Yoongi choke on a laugh, Namjoon slamming his head onto the table once more and disrupting the board game that had long since been forgotten.

“Yes,” Joy confirmed simply, lips twitching. “I do not think I ever saw him give such a reaction before you came along, though. I have to give you credit.”

It probably wasn’t something you should be preening with pride to hear, but you were anyway. “Ah, finally. My efforts are being rewarded.”

Yoongi shook his head, squinting at you. “How are you so… unapologetically thirsty?”

“We’re talking about Jimin, how can I not be?” you answered simply, before straightening in your seat and whipping a finger to point in his direction. “And let’s not be the pot calling the kettle black, mister! Word on the street is you’re just as horny as me!”

Yoongi balked, face paling before it began to cycle through about seven different shades of red, and Namjoon let out a strangled chortle.

“Don’t you have more questions for Joy?” Yoongi tried weakly to deflect the attention and change the subject, but to no avail.

“Well, yes, but I also have questions for you—and don’t think you’re off the hook either, Namjoon, I see you looking mortified over there.”

The two males let out long, arduous groans, and Joy erupted in delighted peals of laughter. What was going to be an informative afternoon for you was clearly going to be a very long one for them. You wriggled in your seat, getting comfortable, and dove in headfirst.

You were going to get as much information on this new discovery as you could.

↞ prev. || four || next ↠

::[ please lmk what you think! & pls consider buying me a kofi if you’d like to support me in some way! <3 ]::

[kannra21]

okay, some headcanons for ya; 1. overhaul's reaction to a confession and 2. overhaul as a boyfriend

Asdfghjkhgfds thank you for sending me this he's the best boi I can't!!! 😍😍😍 I decided to turn headcanon into a scenario so I hope you enjoy!

Warning: T/M, don’t read if underage

Genres: fluff, angst, self insert

Overhaul's reaction to a confession-

First and foremost, we all know that he's pretty blunt regarding those things, so getting in touch with his feelings would be really weird, considering that he never let emotions interfere with his thoughts.

There's never the right time to talk to him since he's always so busy in his office. You'll often find him typing something on his laptop, roaming through his documents and filling his paperwork. He doesn't have time for trivial things, Shie Hassaikai needs him and he has to finish his project as soon as possible in order to repay his old man.

When you confess your feelings for him, he's genuinely confused and lowkey awkward. "What is the person supposed to say in this type of conversation?"/"Are they nuts? Why would they go after a person like me?"

Don't blame him, he never had this kind of experience and everything he's ever done in his life was restoring yakuza and producing Quirk erasing drugs. It's a miracle Hari even considers him a friend.

Since he doesn't really know how to give a proper answer, he'll grow frustrated, tell you not to bother him with stupid stuff and leave him alone.

When you exit the room, he'll feel terrible. He doesn't know what he did wrong, but there's a certain bug inside him that's telling him he messed up. He's growing uncomfortable, he can't finish his desk work because of the guilt eating him up. It felt as bad as his mysophobia.

Why does he feel this way? He decided to take a break to analyze his every thought. Why he tolerated you more than the rest of his underlings.

You were the only person after pops who showed how deeply you loved and cared for him. It was new, it was rare, and he couldn't brush off the fact that this affected him in more ways than he'd like to admit. No one really loved him for who he was, the monster that he's become. And still you decided to stay by his side, refusing to leave despite all the danger he persistently exposed you to.

And then he felt an odd ache in his heart. He's had enough, he really wanted to return to his project and not waste more time than necessary, but first he needed to get rid of these thoughts plaguing his mind.

He went to Chrono since he's the only person he can openly talk to about anything. He described what he's been going through, how disgusting it felt and that he recently started experiencing weird heart palpitations, making him seriously worry for his health.

Chrono gave him a sympathetic smile, he didn't want to laugh at him because he knew that this would only upset him even more. He calmly explained that he fell in love and that his so-called heart palpitations *he almost snorted but he was lucky he possessed enormous self-control* were a natural response from his body, that it was normal and that it was nothing he should be worrying about.

After his talk with Chrono he reached your room and almost knocked on the door if he hadn't barely made out your quiet sobs coming from the other side.

Fuck fuck FUCK! He knew he messed up. You were always so respectful of his space and fulfilled his every wish that, when you finally decided to be a little selfish, you became so coldly rejected by him. And that hurt him more than anything else. Pops was right, he always toyed with people and treated them like rubbish, he was a terrible person. He focused so hard on his goal that he completely forgot about everything around him. He handicapped his old man to make him happy, abused his granddaughter to make him happy, killed and mistreated his subordinates to make him happy. All for him, all for that grandiose goal that he had on mind, his sick mind. To make it clear, he wasn't sorry at all, but that didn't mean he couldn't realize his own mistakes. He wanted to conquer this world, but doing so alone would be kind of sad and miserable, now wouldn't it? For the first time in a long time he wanted to do something right.

He knocked on the doors to announce his presence, not expecting you to open and greet him. He started to apologize and confess his feelings for you, not expecting you to answer anything in return. He basically talked to a door so if anyone were to accidentally walk on him like this, they'd probably think that he's gone nuts. But he couldn't care less, he was that desperate.

After he finished, he slowly distanced himself and planed on walking away if it weren't for you opening the doors and stopping him in his leave.

You were so happy your feelings were reciprocated. You wanted to hug him, kiss him, anything. But you knew perfectly well that he couldn't stand human contact because of his mysophobia, so you held your respective distance and thanked him. He came to you and intertwined your pinky finger in his. He said that he's ready to take small steps. He was ready to change for you, and nothing could make you happier.

Overhaul as a boyfriend-

He's pretty awkward regarding relationship things. He's still learning how to open up and properly talk to you about feelings. The only way he can show it is through money so he'll spoil you and buy everything you want. But he himself isn't so affectionate as you'd like. You walked beside him carrying all the bags while he held nothing, and ofc he won't, he's the yakuza boss. Until some random people walking by shouted what an asshole he was for not helping his lady. Only then he realized and took all of your bags. Don't be angry with him, he's trying to figure out how all of this stuff works.

He's still busy with his work but he always makes sure to dedicate some time to you. He's asking Chrono for tips and keeping him regularly informed in case of emergency. Once when he payed you a visit, he accidentally let it slip and you laughed. You never guessed that the big bad yakuza boss would ask his subordinates for love advice. He felt embarrassed. You told him that this was very unlike him to which he replied that he's slowly starting to lose his guard around you. He's finally trusting you to the point where he's letting his guard down. Your presence made him feel comfortable and the sole thought of it warmed your heart.

He asked you to join his work in order to spend more time with you, you know, combining comfort with useful. Only to realize this wouldn't work out so well considering you two were doing everything but work, you were more of a distraction to him than anything else. He needed to continue on his own but he'd always miss you.

He's taking a walk with you and holding your pinky finger, this time he's not wearing any gloves. He thinks there are some things he'd need to get used to, and he can't feel you touch thought the latex material. He's edging every part of your being but you kind of felt grateful for it, it was a way of showing you his trust and love.

He loved to spend his time with you at night. For a disaster man he surely valued his peace a lot. The two of you would sit on a bench outside in his hydrangea garden, with lamp above you being the only source of light. It was quiet and you'd listen to the sounds of the night and his calm breathing. It was the most relaxing thing. You weren't cold since you wore warm clothes and seeing him in a good mood brought a smile to your face. He started to talk about his childhood and how he used to hang in this place with pops, more times than he can remember. He admitted that he brought you here because you were special to him and that he wanted you to be a part of his positive memories. You kissed his covered lips and this was the first time you saw him blushing. He expected his skin to break out in hives but nothing happened since you were sitting outside on the fresh air. The two of you decided you'll do things like this more often.

The next day you wanted to prepare a surprise for him. You cleaned your room entirely from each and every corner and aired it out. You also did the top-notch hygiene and made sure there wasn't a single ounce of dirt left, and then you told him to come over. Just by entering he could sense how clean and disinfected everything was. And you also smelled beautiful, like something flowery and sweet. He asked you why you did all those preparations and you told him you wanted to touch him without worrying about his problem. He understood and took off his gloves and mask. It was so unusual to see him like this, completely exposed without a care in this world. He carefully took your hands in his and you noticed how small they were compared to his. This was the first time you could feel his hands at full display, it was a special experience, a feeling you'll never forget. He kissed your fingers *and risked having Kardashian lips haha*, but surprisingly nothing has happened. He could feel your skin all he wanted and no reaction would be made. His lips were so warm and soft against your skin, you wondered if they felt any different from the night before. And although you wanted to reach them so badly, he slightly pulled away, teasing you like an overhole he is *yes fully pun-intended*. You were mad at him, you waited what felt like ages for this faithful moment to come and now when you're finally allowed to do so he's messing with you. You wanted to take all that dirt from the outside and smear it across his freakishly beautiful face. The fucker was lucky he looked good otherwise you'd throw him through the window, ending him once and for all *although you were Quirkless and didn't possess this sort of power but still*. Then you asked him why he started untying his tie to which he replied that he wanted to take things further with you, of course, if you're allowing it that is. You were worried because you had no protection with you, he told you he'll just use his latex gloves instead which made you yell at him for being an idiot and he laughed. This was the first time in a while that you heard his laugh, it sounded wonderful and you couldn't bring yourself to be angry at him anymore. It was so unusual to see him joking around. Was this really him? Or has someone drugged him perhaps? You weren't entirely sure but you wanted this moment to never meet its end. He said he'll enter his room for a second just to get the stuff from his drawer. Did he really just prepare for all of this? Has he seriously been thinking that one day something like this could possibly happen and decided to take precautions? He never ceased to surprise you, you thought to yourself. 

Long story short you had a great time and managed to take a nice nap afterwards. Overhaul's phone started buzzing and he saw that Chrono sent him a message to call him as soon as possible. He didn't want to wake you up so he went to the bathroom and answered the phone. Chrono sounded worried beyond belief and asked him where he had been. Apparently, he didn't leave a single message to anyone and they all thought something bad happened to him. Overhaul just answered that he's ok and that he'll join them soon after he takes a shower. Chrono wondered why he sounded so calm and dreamy but didn't want to push the conversation any further. After he showered and put his gloves on, he kissed your forehead before he left, leaving you in the warmth and comfort of your bed.

One day he decided to roam through your stuff while waiting for you since he thinks that he owns you so basically all of your stuff also belonged to him *the audacity*. And he accidentally found your diary, bingo. He went through some pages and read them at fast pace. He found out what stuff you liked and he took a note to himself to use it at the moment of need. From now on he's giving you presents you actually liked and you didn't have any idea how he knew all of this stuff. But you never got the chance to ask him about it, you just took everything you've been given.

He's very possessive of you. He's trusting Shie Hassaikai members with you but if any other germocarrier dared to hang with his precious lady he's ready to overhaul them at any given moment. Is he overreacting? Of course not. He's just giving you the treatment worth of a queen. And no, he's not joking around, he overhauled a person for real. It was some nice guy who was selling magazines and newspapers. He stood a bit too close to you for his liking and he killed him right on the spot.

You two broke into a terrible fight, you shouted that his possessiveness took the best of him but he insisted that this was the only possible solution to things. You distanced yourself for some time, refusing to talk to him or whatsoever. It has been three days by now and he can't take it anymore, he felt terrible and he wanted to do anything to return things as they once were. He bought you your favorite things, still no response from you. He took off his mask and gloves to show his vulnerability once again, still no response from you.

In the end he got to the doors and imitated the same apology he did a month ago, it worked.

He told you how horrible he felt and that he'll never repeat the same mistake again. You held his bare hand and even though it got covered in hives he couldn't care less. He was just glad this entire complication had reached its end.

One day you washed your hands together. He dried them in some cloth and then he handed you over to use it as well. As you dried your hands you felt something thin and cold underneath, you picked it up and noticed it was a ring. You started crying and he got genuinely concerned, he started blaming himself that he messed it up again but you shouted the word "yes" and he hugged you. You were both so happy to be with each other and share beautiful moments like this together.

[davidmann95]

Now...Thoughts on Night 3?

Anonymous said: Well…Thoughts on Night 3?

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: So night 3 was freakin AMAZING

cheerfullynihilistic said: Night 3?

vanguard2814 said: Thoughts on night 3?

Anonymous said: Any thoughts on night 3 of Crisis?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on night 3 ?

Anonymous said: How about that third night?

Anonymous said: Thoughts on Part 3 of the Crisis? 

Good lord, a guy’s a little too tired a few evenings in a row to feel the call of the muse and I end up with all this. Very well children, come and suckle at the teat of my take at last: it was good.

Before that however, I actually watched the Crisis tie-in episode of Black Lightning, and having never seen that show before, it was really good! Notably slicker and more professionally put together than the surrounding DC CW shows, solid premise executed well; reminded me a touch of Multiversity with being dropped into this radically different narrative and seeing the reverberations of the big cosmic dust-up echoing through it. Clearly quite a good show, hope it’s getting good ratings.

Anyway, onto the spoilery good stuff:

* I don’t know that I enjoyed it as much as the last one, but this was probably the best episode thus far in terms of balancing plot, character, and the fanservice inherent to the entire proposition.

* Certainly, this was notably the best-directed of the batch: there’s a horror to the antimatter wave in the opening and closing that simply hadn’t been conveyed before.

* The bit regarding Choi’s kid was cute.

* I hate to say it, but that little Super-speech from Routh on hope making the rounds on Twitter is…stiff. He’s still good in general but he’s trying too hard in places to sell a sense of gravitas to the point of his eyebrow arching up like an unironic Colbert, though the explanation itself on why he changed the S is one I prefer to the original Kingdom Come clearly presenting it as a symbol of mourning. Still team Hoechlin as #1, I’m afraid - there’s an ease and sincerity to his performance that sets him apart, but I’ll leave that spiel to Twitter since everyone here’s seen me weigh in plenty on him. Glad Tulloch’s Lois got some more time to shine in that scene though, I liked her a lot in Elseworlds and she’s only been growing on me more in here.

* Much as the basic setup of Lucifer as an in-name-only adaptation rubs me the wrong way given how amazing what I’ve read of the source material is I wouldn’t have expected to be happy to see that guy, but heck if I wasn’t delighted. Maybe it’s because of said distance, which makes it feel like Crisis is simply crossing over into unrelated genre television at this point, which is cool as hell. Or maybe it’s just the way Tom Ellis says “Jjjjjjjjjohnnyyy!!!”

* Sidebar: before I saw this episode I briefly saw Earth-666 was trending on Twitter before snapping my head away, and while clearly it was a Crisis thing, the two possibilities that leapt to mind were Damian as future Batman or some sort of utterly savage swing at the DCEU. All but slapped my head at the obviousness once we actually got to that scene.

* Small as his role was, Cress Williams’ Black Lightning manages to wring all the emotion he can out of it, and him flipping out a little at Superman being real is exactly the sort of thing I want to see out of a premise like this.

* So THAT’S why they’re going through all these shenanigans with Oliver. Pulling a Hal Jordan on him’s a really neat idea for keeping him relevant in the fight against a mad god and keeping him around in the universe as a whole in whatever capacity Amell’s interested in post-mortem that caught me completely off-guard.

* Was it cheap to very sincerely send off Gustin’s Barry Allen and then take the obvious out in the end after all? Totally, but lackluster as an adaptation of that moment in the original Crisis though it was, I have to admit that little flashback to the old show went a long way in making me care anyway. Not for nostalgic reasons, I never watched the series, but in the sense of getting us to look at him at his close not as a stock alternate universe casualty, but a person with decades of life behind who was young and vulnerable once and loved and was loved in turn, and you’re watching his final moments. Whiffed on the effects end, but emotionally they really did make that work as well as it possibly could and very efficiently at that, color me impressed somewhat in spite of myself.

* Okay I said I’d stop talking about Hoechlin but him getting in the final word against the Anti-Monitor and being the last to fade away with a look of reassuring, determined confidence on his face…look, I’ll change my tune a bit if he doesn’t even get one solid punch in in the finale, but I just cannot sympathize with the notion that Superman’s being underserved here given his role.

* Jon Cryer’s Lex Luthor is a goddamned international treasure and should be acknowledged as such, that monstrous son of a bitch. Cannot wait for the opening of the next episode being him looking around and more than half-seriously going “So, you’re welcome. You have two other alien freaks anyway, what you NEED is a Luthor.”

Dang this next month of waiting is going to drag.

[luninosity]

For @thebestpersonherelovesbucky: here’s the full text of the fake film review I wrote yesterday, for Steadfast...

#

Steadfast Combines History and Heart Into Triumph

 Jillian Poe’s latest directorial effort, Steadfast is at once familiar and unfamiliar: a Regency romance set against the Napoleonic War, full of ballroom scenes and lavish costumes, crackling with politics and passion. It’s (extremely) loosely based on the 1940s novel of the same name, which in turn was based on the historical Will Crawford’s surviving letters and notes, and the romance is real in more than one way—assuming you haven’t been living under a rock, you’ve seen the stories about on-set melodrama: Colby Kent and Jason Mirelli hooking up, being injured, falling in love, and from all reports being blissfully happy.

 Leaving the behind-the-scenes drama aside, the question is: is it a good film?

 The answer is unequivocally yes.

 It’s more than good. It’s a brave film, in the best ways: not only in telling a historical gay love story—and it is very, very gay; Jillian Poe and her cast don’t shy away from sex scenes—but in the raw emotion and power of the storytelling and the relationship. It’s the kind of film that gets remembered as a landmark: what good filmmaking can do. And it’s worth seeing, not only for the attention to period detail or the reminder that gay people (and black people, Indian people, and others; we see an impressively diverse London, especially among Will’s Home Office fellow recruits) have always existed in history, but for the sheer emotional experience. Steadfast is a romance, unashamedly so, and it wants you to fall in love, and you will.

 The casting and the script are spot-on, to start.

 Jillian Poe has her favorite stable of actors, so some familiar faces won’t be a surprise. Colby Kent, also a producer, and given co-writing credit with Ben Rogers, stars as Will Crawford—Rogers and Jillian Poe have independently confirmed that Colby did on-set rewrites, which means most of what we see is likely his. We’ve discussed Colby and the industry and uncredited script work at length back when that news broke, so here I’ll just say that Colby is a better writer than any of us realized—good at knowing and utilizing the source material, but also paring down, choosing the exact right word for each moment, giving his fellow actors dialogue that sounds effortlessly natural. Odds on a Best Adapted Screenplay award or two? Pretty high, I’d say.

 Speaking of Colby Kent, he’s always been quietly excellent on screen, often underrated (that Academy Award loss to Owen Heath should’ve gone the other way, no offense to Owen, who is also generally excellent), and equally capable of adorable clumsiness or aristocratic decadence. You could argue that playing young and wealthy and vulnerable and gay is exactly in his wheelhouse and hardly a stretch, and you might be right—but you would also be wrong.

 It’s an award-winning performance. It’s a master class in complex character acting. It’s compelling and dramatic and the core of the film, at least half of it, more on which later.

 Will Crawford—in ill health, a natural scientist, the Regency equivalent of a rich kid and only heir to a vast estate—might have come across as weak, or naïve and fragile, or in need of rescue. And Colby Kent’s good at fragile and lovely and desperate. But Will’s also a literal genius, determined to be useful, and willing to do anything—including spycraft and affecting the tide of battle and the fate of nations—to protect the man he loves. Colby Kent never lets us forget that, and the character and the story become richer for it. He’s almost at his best in moments without dialogue—I say almost because Colby, as ever, has flawless timing when delivering lines, both the heartbreaking and the wryly sarcastic. But his eyes and expressions say so much that every close-up could be a page’s worth of emotion-filled speeches, except not, because they’re not necessary. He’ll definitely get the Academy Award nomination; if there’s any justice, he’ll also win. Though, having said that, my personal vote might go to the biggest surprise of the film, just because I was so impressed and delighted. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

 The supporting cast is also superb—Leo Whyte, as Jason’s second-in-command, embodies complicated and compassionate loyalty, someone who’d follow his captain into battle and also sympathize with his captain’s difficult love, given his own socially fraught marriage to a poor Irish girl (Kate Fisher, having a marvelous time and some of the funniest lines). John Leigh gives his performance as a conflicted would-be mutineer some delicate nuance—he still admires his captain and ultimately makes a painful personal choice. Jim Whitwell epitomizes workmanlike British gentlemanly acting—though we get a hint of the dirtiness of his profession, and of his sympathy for Stephen and Will, which adds layers to his performance. And young Timothy Hayes is worth watching as Stephen’s favorite optimistic midshipman, with deft comedic timing in the midst of storms and the stalking of a French ship.

 The crown jewel of the supporting cast, of course—and the shoo-in for Best Supporting Actor—is Sir Laurence Taylor, notoriously picky about taking on new projects at this point, but here fully committed to his role as Will’s father, the aging Earl of Stonebrook.

 It’s easy to say that Sir Laurence is a legend, but sometimes we forget what that means. In this role, we remember. He delivers words that cut right through his on-screen son, and by extension the audience; but his anguish and grief are equally genuine: he’s a man who loved and lost his wife, who doesn’t understand his only son and heir, who clings to the need to protect the family name and estate and future, while faced with the dual truths that his son prefers men to women and in any case might die young—of illness, if not from daring the world in Regency spycraft. The Earl is awful and vicious and cruel to Will—but watching Sir Laurence stand at his son’s bedside, or come to the window and silently watch his son depart for London…those moments will make you hurt for him despite yourself, and it’s a virtuoso piece of acting.

 Speaking of brilliant pieces of acting, let’s talk about that biggest (and I don’t mean just the physique, though that can’t be missed) surprise of the film: Jason Mirelli.

 First, a confession: I, like quite a few people, felt some skepticism about this casting choice. That’s not to insult action films as such, and Jason Mirelli’s been a consistently reliable action-hero lead. But it’s a very different genre, and Jason’s previous filmography hasn’t, let’s say, exactly indicated much dramatic range. (Having said that, I’ll admit to unironically loving Saint Nick Steel. Is it ridiculous? Yes. Is it hilarious absurd so-bad-it’s-amazing fun? Also yes. Does it have Jason Mirelli in an artistically torn shirt chasing terrorists through a shopping mall while protecting small children and wearing a hat that makes him the reincarnated spirit of Christmas? Hell yes it does. We watch it every year.)

 If you, like me, were on the fence but willing to be convinced…

 I’ll say it right now: Jason Mirelli should be on that Academy Award ballot alongside Colby Kent.

 He’s the other half of the heart of this film, and the second he steps down from that carriage in the opening shot, he’s commanding the narrative. He’s captured the physicality of a wartime ship’s captain, but more than that, he’s captured the layers of character. Every motion of those shoulders, those eyes, that jawline, all means something—as do the moments when he chooses not to move and be still. Take the moment when he looks at Will in the morning-after scene, which is just a look and a few beats on camera, but Jason’s able to convey Stephen’s love, and wistful frustration over their different social classes, and genuine affection, and fear about Will’s illness, and surprised joy at having someone to wake up next to. It’s a hell of a role—romance, war, leadership on a ship’s deck, the shock when Will falls gravely ill, the emotion of the ending, which I won’t spoil here—and Jason’s a revelation. He’ll have his pick of roles after this, and he’ll deserve the Oscar nod, though it’s unlikely he’ll win—the Academy likes to reward previous nominees and is notoriously skeptical of popcorn-flick pedigrees, and Jason might need to prove himself once or twice more. But he shouldn’t have to. This is enough, and it’s fantastic to watch.

 Part of that epic transformation should be credited to Jillian Poe’s direction. With Steadfast, Poe demonstrates her skill as a director and her ability to handle multiple genres—she started out, you might remember, with lighter romantic-comedy fare, often also with Colby Kent—and her ability to get quality performances from her actors, every single one, every single time. I also wouldn’t be surprised at her picking up a directorial award or two; it’s an ambitious project, and also a labor of love, which shines through in each frame.

 The costuming and sets are as plush and attentive to detail as you would expect from an Oscar-bait period piece that’s a Jillian Poe production—that reputation for perfection’s deserved. The score is, if not anything out of the ordinary for a Regency setting, handled with delicacy and love—the music plays into the mood of each scene unobtrusively and expertly.

 Fans of the novel might have some minor critiques involving the looseness of the adaptation, in particular the ending, which—let me offer a minor spoiler warning, no detail, but stop reading if you want to know nothing at all—adds a final sequence that provides a happy ending for Stephen and Will. Is it book-accurate? No. But I called Steadfast a brave film earlier in this review, and this ending is an act of courage: imagining a happy ending for gay men in history, demanding that their love story end well and with joy. (And Colby Kent personally met with the novel’s famously reclusive author, so for all you purists, this change was made with permission.)

 Those stories matter. Steadfast as a film matters. Go see it. Fall in love.

[noona-clock]

Go Ahead, Take a Bite 🧛

Genre: Vampire!AU/Fluff

Pairing: Shownu x You

By Admin B

You told yourself you would never go to one of these things.

But... you were desperate.

Your university, being the progressive, inclusive institution it was, held monthly blood drives specifically for local vampires. Rather than being normal blood drives meant to help the sick, it was more like a soup kitchen for vampires who couldn’t find sources of blood on their own.

And, right now, that was you.

Usually, you used a connection through your dad at a nearby hospital, but he and the nurse who actually procured the blood bags for you were both at a two-week-long conference. For some reason you couldn’t comprehend at the moment, both of them had forgotten to set aside a couple of meals for you beforehand.

And, if you’ve ever gone a whole two weeks without eating... well, you wouldn’t be alive right now to tell the tale, would you?

Exactly.

So you swallowed your pride and headed toward the student medical center on campus. You gripped your ID as you strode up the walkway, trying to pretend like you weren’t feeling faint with hunger. 

The receptionist greeted you with a smile, and you returned it with a close-lipped one of your own - your fangs were currently out and proud, but you were not proud of them. 

“Welcome!” she chirped, holding her hand out to check your student ID. “Are you giving or receiving today?”

“...Receiving,” you murmured.

“Perfect.” She handed your ID back and gestured toward a set of double doors close by. “Go through those doors, and they’ll sanitize your fangs for you.”

You simply nodded your thanks before following her directions, shuffling quickly through the doors and stopping to wipe some rubbing alcohol over your protruding canines.

It was shameful and embarrassing, but you were starving. You had no choice.

Unless you wanted to shrivel up and turn into dust.

That’s what you’d heard would happen if you ever went too long without feeding, and even if it wasn’t true, you were not keen to find out what would happen.

The nurse who took your used cotton ball after sanitizing instructed you to wait in the small waiting room, though she assured you the wait would not be too long. There were a few donors who were almost finished with their paperwork.

You nodded in response, trying hard not to fidget or shake your knee or give any indication you did not want to be here. There were a couple other people -- vampires -- waiting with you, and the last thing you wanted was to draw attention to yourself.

Just a few minutes later, the nurse announced all of you could go on back, and you were the first one out of your seat. You slid through the curtain separating the waiting room and the... well, I guess you could really only call it the Feeding Room. Because that’s what was happening.

You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting, but you were a bit startled to see fellow vampires sitting next to the donors and just... feeding from them. Sucking on arms and necks like it was... not weird.

I mean, maybe you’d been expecting something like an actual blood drive. Needles and IVs and the blood bags you were so used to and... not vampires just straight up biting and sucking and drinking actual humans.

You let the other vampires who’d been in the waiting room pass you, turning back toward the nurse. “I’m sorry,” you murmured anxiously. “I thought... how come...”

“First time?” the nurse asked with a friendly smirk.

You nodded.

“We like to save all the materials for the real -- normal -- average blood drives, and since you all have your own way procuring the blood, we figure we’re just here to supervise and clean the wounds of the donors. You’ll simply find one of the donors, feed, and leave.”

...Why did that make you so uncomfortable?

Maybe because you’d never done it before. Because your dad worked at the hospital, you’d only ever fed from blood bags, never from an actual, living person.

The nurse turned you back toward the feeding room and urged you over to a young man who was very obviously looking for someone who needed a donor.

“Here we go, Mr. Son,” the nurse called out.

The guy suddenly looked at you, a soft smile appearing on his lips as he began to approach you with his hand outstretched.

Well, now you were even more uncomfortable. This guy was acting like this was a totally normal, everyday thing. Like you were having a business meeting or something.

“Hey, I’m Shownu,” he said once he reached you, shaking your hand.

“Y/N,” you murmured with a nod.

“Nice to meet you.” His smile had widened now, and he began to usher you over to two empty chairs.

“Have you done this before?” he asked after he sat down.

“No,” you told him immediately. “Never.”

“Me neither, actually. One of my buddies does it all the time because his little brother is a vampire, and he knows how bad it can get. He’s been trying to get a bunch of us to help out for a while now, so I figured I should.”

“You’re not terrified?” you asked with a deeply furrowed brow. The way he was sitting in his chair, his tone of voice... it was all so casual! Like this was no big deal!

I mean, maybe it wasn’t a big deal because it’s not like vampires were super rare these days. But it was a big deal for you!

“No, not really,” he chuckled. “...Are you?”

“Well, yeah,” you admitted. “I’ve never fed from a live human at all. I have connections at a hospital, so the blood has just always been in a bag. I don’t have to worry about hurting anyone.”

“Well, that’s exactly what these drives are for. The nurses are here to make sure no one does get hurt. Arm or neck?”

Shownu had just finished unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt and was now rolling up his sleeve.

You opened your mouth to reply, but your attention was caught by... his arm.

Because oh my god.

His arms.

Were probably the beefiest arms you’d ever seen.

Like... seriously.

You’d never actually had the urge to bite a human before, but the instant you saw his forearm - the muscle, the veins, the smooth, tan skin - you wanted to bite him.

And then you remembered he’d asked you a question.

“A-arm,” you stammered, shifting uncomfortably in your seat next to him.

He murmured an ‘okay’ before scooting closer and sticking his forearm in front of your face.

You gulped.

Oh, god.

“Go ahead, take a bite,” Shownu said softly. “It’s what we’re here for.”

You glanced at him uneasily, no longer hiding the fact you would rather not be here.

“It’s okay,” Shownu assured you with the most earnest of expressions on his handsome face. (Wait, why were you just now noticing how extremely good-looking he was?)

“I know, I’m just -- I’ve never done this, and -- it just makes me... uncomfortable. It feels wrong.”

“It’s the opposite of wrong, actually,” he chuckled, reaching out with his free hand to gently touch your shoulder. “You’re just not used to it. But it literally happens every day. And it’s not like I’m some random guy you’re attacking in the street. I came here willingly. For the sole purpose of letting you feed from me.”

Okay, well, when he put it like that... it did make you feel better.

You let out a deep breath as you nodded at him. “All right,” you whispered. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now eat.”

He held his arm even closer to you, and you hesitantly reached up to take hold of it.

Good Lord, you had seriously never touched an arm like this before. It felt as thick and sturdy as it looked, which definitely sounded a lot dirtier than how you actually meant it. And, unsurprisingly, you felt your cheeks blushing because of it.

So you quickly dipped your head and bit down right where you saw his vein pulsing. Where you smelled his fresh blood.

The second you bit into his flesh, you regretted it.

Except you didn’t because his blood tasted amazing. It was warm and smooth and robust and it tasted absolutely nothing like the bagged blood you were used to. You were now dreading going back to the bagged blood, actually, because the difference was that astronomical.

“You must be really hungry,” Shownu chuckled when you came up for air almost a whole minute later.

“Well, yeah,” you gasped, reaching up to wipe a drop of blood from the corner of your mouth. “But you also just taste really, really good.”

Shownu looked awfully proud of himself upon hearing you say that, though he grimaced slightly when you went back in for more.

Thankfully, you were able to tell when you’d had your fill, and though it was extremely difficult to pull away for good, you forced yourself to. A nurse immediately came over to Shownu, dabbing

an alcohol-soaked cotton ball over the two puncture wounds on his forearm.

You weren’t sure what to do now, but after a quick glance around the room, you figured you were just supposed to... get up and leave.

“Thanks,” you said awkwardly before standing up and turning toward the exit.

“Oh, hey,” Shownu interjected. “Hold on, I’ll walk you out.”

“Are you sure?” you asked quizzically as he stood up next to you. “You’re not supposed to drink orange juice or eat a peanut butter cookie or something?”

“Yes, he is,” the nurse interrupted, handing him exactly what you’d just mentioned - a small cup of orange juice and a bag of Nutter Butters.

Shownu smiled as he took them, quickly downing the juice and opening the packet as he began to walk toward the door with you.

“How do you feel?” he asked, trailing closely behind you.

“Oh, I -- I’m much better,” you replied with a somewhat breathless, awkward chuckle. “I hope I didn’t... hurt you or anything. Like I said, I’ve never --”

“You didn't, I promise.”

He reached out his arm - his god-like, spectacular arm - to open the door for you, and you slipped past him, your heart racing as his scent wafted through your nose. He smelled like crisp leaves and outdoors and just a hint of sweat and his blood, my goodness, you could smell his blood.

“How come I’ve never seen you around campus before?” Shownu asked after the two of you stepped out into the dark night.

“Well... do you take any night classes?” you asked with a soft chuckle. Most humans didn’t.

“No, but I usually do late-night workouts. Or midnight snack runs in the dining halls.”

“Ah, there are your reasons. One, I never go to the gym. Two, I don’t need to eat food.”

“Oh, right,” Shownu laughed. “Yeah, that definitely explains it.”

The two of you walked a little way in comfortable silence until you reached a fork in the path; you had to go one way for your first class of the night, and you were fairly sure the gym was the other way.

“I, uh... I have class, so...”

“Please stop me if I’m being too forward,” Shownu said suddenly, his brow furrowed as he focused on the ground right next to your feet. “But I kind of want to see you again?”

He what now?

“You... what? You -- you do?”

“I know we just met, but... I mean, you sucked on my arm. That kind of creates a bond between people. A weird bond, but a bond nonetheless.”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips, and you timidly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, I have to agree,” you murmured.

Honestly, it could’ve been the fact Shownu was super handsome and seemed really sweet and kind and also his blood tasted amazing but... you did kind of feel that bond.

“So...” he took a tiny step toward you, and your breath caught in your throat. “Can I? See you again?”

“...Maybe,” you answered as you lifted one shoulder into a shrug.

“Oh, maybe,” he repeated in a teasing tone, the cutest, most adorable smirk now pulling at his lips. 

“Yes, maybe. I’ll change it to a ‘yes’ if you promise me one thing.”

“What would that be?”

“You’ll wear long sleeves.”

Shownu’s brow furrowed slightly, and he tilted in his head in confusion. “Why?”

“Because your arms are way too tempting, and I would rather not bite into them unless it was absolutely necessary.”

“...What if I told you... I wouldn’t mind if you did?”

Your cheeks warmed immensely, and you quickly averted your gaze, your mind now racing with too many thoughts (all dealing with him not minding if you bit into and fed from him again, of course).

“Here,” he murmured, reaching into his pocket and sliding out his phone. “Give me your number, at least. I’ll text you, and if you don’t reply... I won’t bother you again.”

There was absolutely no reason for you to say ‘no’ to that, so you took his phone from him, quickly putting in your number before handing it back.

“I do really have class now,” you said softly, finally returning his gaze again. “In, like, ten minutes.”

“Okay, go,” Shownu chuckled. “Wait, you don’t want me to walk you or anything? You feel safe enough?”

“I’m good,” you assured him. “I have my own built-in weapons, remember?”

“Ah, that’s right. But... still. Be careful.”

“I will, don’t worry.” You took a few steps backward, watching as he replaced his phone back into his pocket.

“Have a good night, Y/N.” Shownu lifted one hand in a very dad-like wave, and you couldn’t stop from letting out a little giggle as you waved back.

“You, too.”

You turned on your heel then, picking up your pace as you began your trek to the English building.

You weren’t even halfway there when you felt your phone vibrate in your bag. You fished it out, a smile instantly pulling at your lips when you saw a message from an unsaved number.

I have plenty of long-sleeved shirts. I promise I’ll wear one of them if I can see you tomorrow.

Since you’d become a vampire about five years ago, you’d been fairly sure your life as an average person was over. You would probably meet a vampire, fall in love with a vampire, marry a vampire, and have (presumably) vampire children.

You had innately decided it would just be better for everyone to find someone of your own kind.

But...

You were questioning all that now.

Because if a guy you’d just met less than half an hour ago could make your heart flutter the way it was fluttering now? You couldn’t just ignore that, human or not.

So you opened the message and typed back a reply.

It’s a deal.

Master list // RULES // Read About the Admins

[angst-in-space]

1, 2, 4-11, 13-18, 20-22, 24, 25, 27-35, 37-48, 50 👍💕💖

holy shit alex

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was altea rising and yes i’d still reread it today bc 1) i’m still writing it lmao, 2) i only started it two years ago dkfdj

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

if we’re not counting fic updates i guess the most recent thing i finished was my piece for @extrasolarzine (WHICH I’M GONNA FINALLY POST A PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK...AAH)!! and well, again i’ve only been writing fic for a couple years but...hmm idk, i mean this piece is very action-y and that’s something i used to have very little confidence about, so i’d like to think that’s something i’ve improved upon! 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

ha i mean i know for a fact that “if the silence was a song” is my most popular fic both in terms of hits/kudos....it also seems to be the one people rec the most and the one i most often get the reaction of “wait, YOU wrote that??” sdkfjd

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

answered!

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

nah not really, i’m pretty happy with all my fics lol...i guess there’s parts of them that could be better but none of them make me like Truly Embarrassed

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

answered!

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

i guess it’s altea rising since i haven’t updated it in like three months haha, but uhh don’t worry it’s coming! (as in i’m super close to Finally finishing a draft of the next chapter heh heh)

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

nope! i’ve only written fic for voltron 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

also no....i binge-read a ton of voltron fics the summer it came out and then started a fic of my own! 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

i figure everything has been done before in one way or another so that’s something i try not to sweat it too much about. i try to be original, but there’s also a lot of popular tropes i like so it’s fun to take those and try to make them my own somehow!

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

answered!

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

i’m not sure if this refers to reading or writing fic but...i guess in general i’m a lot pickier now than i was at the beginning of the fandom?? like i remember at the beginning i’d just kinda read whatever was popular but over time i’ve developed a much better sense of what i will and won’t like lol, and i p much only read things written by friends and/or rec’d to me by friends. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

not really?? in fact i seem to gravitate more towards my super long complicated aus even knowing they’re not gonna gain as much attention lol.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

no i’m a masochist so i continue writing the aforementioned super long complicated aus even when it feels like i’m just dropkicking updates into the void lmao. but tbh even if literally no one was reading my multichap fics i’d probs still write them bc they’re fun to write and i love them a lot, so!!

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

ha i mean, again i like all my fics and i’m happy i wrote them all but...i guess probably “a truth in the blood”? dgmw i still like that one a lot and i’m glad a lot of people enjoyed it, i’m just not as like emotionally attached to it as i am to my other fics (probs cuz i wrote it in like two weeks haha). 

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

ummm i’d say it’s defo “the stars are bound to change.” idk man like i really poured my soul into that one and it’s so rare someone tells me it’s their fave....i have this particular soft spot for it that whenever someone tells me they love that one i’m like *SOBS*...THANK YOU.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

probably not?? there’s some things i’d probs change a bit in some of my fics but there’s nothing that i would rewrite completely.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

i gotta admit i don’t think i’ve ever done that...? i usually don’t start looking at someone’s fics unless they’ve been rec’d to me or like unless we’ve become friends and i then find out they write fic.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

answered!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

i’ve never gotten a truly mean review really. *knocks on wood* i think the only slightly negative one i can think of off the top of my head was someone who complained about the end of “the stars are bound to change” and said it was too abrupt but...i don’t think they intended it to be super malicious or anything, and like, i get it bc i wasn’t 100% happy with the ending either. but oh well can’t win ‘em all. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

again i haven’t really gotten much negativity or criticism in comments so uh...*shrugs* and i’m p good at taking constructive criticism i was a creative writing major sdkdj

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

i’ve only ever written single-fandom fics and don’t have a desire to ever write a crossover fic so lol. 

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

i mean i guess voltron bc it’s the only fandom i’ve written fic for anyway and klance still owns my ass, so... 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

....i only read/write voltron fic pretty much so uh n/a haha

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

again i’ve only written voltron fic and yeah i’m still writing it even though i’m not watching the show anymore. what can i say, a bitch loves klance and that bitch is me!! 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

answered!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

also answered!

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

not that i can think of...there’s been a couple times i’ve decided partway through a fic to include some side-pairing later on in the background, but it’s not really unintentional, just that i didn’t plan on it from the beginning. 

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

i wouldn’t say “bashed” per se but uh i do often really stress on shiro & keith having a brotherly relationship although that’s more out of the fear of people interpreting it the wrong way... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

i....no. why would i do that?? dlkfjdk

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

a sort of small one but yeah! 

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

yes and no...i write a lot but it’s mostly just piling more and more into my multichaps. kinda wish i wrote more short oneshots but oh well.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

i only post on ao3 so yeah.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

“if the silence was a song” with 23,744 hits whew!! 

43. Your least popular?

“a million little pieces” (the fic i wrote for lancito) it only has 349 hits rip.... (i mean it’s a gen fic and only like 2k words long so i get it but sdlkfjd)

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

i’m a little confused by the wording of this lol, but uh if i’m understanding the question correctly...i think it’s about even? although tbh i’ve been slacking a lot in my fic reading lately, but in general i try to support other fic authors as much as i can! 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

answered!

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

i’m not sure if this means like in terms of diverse content/genres or in terms of like character diversity but i’d like to say yes to both?? i like moving around between different genres, also i care a lot about character diversity and representation so yeah! 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

i mean this has happened to me before and i’m like “sure lol.” it depends on the person but probs i would have them read “a million little pieces” or maybe “a truth in the blood” since those are the shortest and uhhh the least shippy lol. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

yeah i’m an annoying bitch who can’t shut up about writing fic so p much all my friends/fam know i write it hahaha. and uhh i have a couple irl friends who are in the same fandoms as me but not a lot.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

answered!

aaaaand now i think i’ve officially answered all the questions for this meme lmao

fanfic author ask meme

[kotorcomics]

Doki Doki Literature Club: Exclusive Interview with Character Artist Satchely

Hey! This is a longer post, as we have an exclusive interview for you! Satchely, the artist who drew the character art for Doki Doki Literature Club, was kind enough to give us an interview where she talked about her influences and her journey as an artist. Hopefully there’s something in here that you’ll enjoy!

Q: What makes you want to create art? What influences led you to start drawing?

A: My first influences were digimon/pokemon as a young kid. I started drawing the creatures in those to create my own worlds. Then I would basically just sit in my room and play out stories with my own art. Which kinda leads back to present time where other people use my art to tell stories.

What keeps me going now is my love for any and all art out there. Be it anime/architecture/fashion/games or graphic design. I take inspiration from all of those.

Art is a huge part of my life and I see myself creating it until I'm not able to do so anymore.

Also, striving to make better art and seeing it being rewarded is the best feeling. Those rewards could be just simply likes on Twitter or people telling me my art inspires them to become better themselves.

It's fulfilling to create something from nothing and see it coming alive.

Studio Ghibli is [an influence, and also] the art for visual novels and games in general to me. (Gayarou/Kantoku for visual novels and Akihiko Yoshida/Shigenori Soejima for other games).

Q: Where does your art style come from? What do you like about drawing in this style?

A: My art style comes from the moe art-style you see in lots of anime and japanese visual novels/games. Often times it's being used for sexual themed media, so I think it's great that DDLC didn't follow this trend. I hope more creators out there will realize that you don't need sexually explicit content when making an anime styled game.

What I like about this style is that it's very cleanly/precisely drawn and obviously cute. It's easy to show a wide range of emotions, because the most apparent trait of it are the big expressive eyes.

I also don't like to limit myself to just one style. I experiment with different genres that are not anime. I believe this helps me become a better artist who can also adapt to different media/clients.

Q: You describe yourself as a self-taught artist. What did that involve? 

A: Being a self-taught artist is easier than ever with the internet. There's a ton of free tutorials/references out there that helped me become better. Besides this, I surround myself with art everyday so I develop a better eye for what looks good and what doesn't. I also learned that real life is the best teacher. If there's something I don't know how to draw, I turn to real life and that solves the problem most of the time for me. I feel like a lot of beginner artists don't do that and shy away from using references.

Q: What was it like when you started doing commissions on DeviantArt? How did you build your following online?

A: When I first started offering commissions I was scared that nobody would want my art. At first that was the case but over time and with me putting more of my art out there, the number of commissions I received slowly increased. Also, I was scared to increase my prices but the better I got, the more confidence I had in my work.

I think artists shouldn't undervalue their work and not have to work below minimum wage, even though that is sadly often times the case. It would be better for the whole of the industry if people valued their work higher.

I built my following slowly over time by just uploading my art to DeviantArt. Uploading it also to social media like Twitter helped even more.

Because of DDLC I had a huge influx of new followers and it's incredible to me how impactful games can be!

Q: What led you to studying art at college? What do you feel you've learned from your studies?

A: I went to an art focused high school and initially I wanted to continue by studying medicine. After much research and soul searching I've decided to follow my true passion (art and design), so that's what led me here.

My high school focused on traditional art and not on design. I really didn't like that they didn't appreciate digitally drawn art, so I had to do everything on paper. I still learned a lot, but my heart lies with the digital medium.

I've now been studying design at college for half a year. I had to go through entrance exams and submit a 30 piece portfolio, which was a big challenge for me. I had to step out of my comfort zone and draw things that weren't in my usual style, but in the end it taught me a lot of things that helped make my regular art better.

My college portfolio had no anime in it. It was western cartoon styled illustrations and realistically drawn portraits.

I was scared of the bad stigma around cute anime art and that the college professors wouldn't take me seriously because of it. Also I just wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try new things.

The first semester at design college consisted of many different subjects like film & animation, graphic design, illustration, product design and many more. Out of those I chose graphic design, typography and interactive design as my focus for the coming years. I'm excited to learn things I know next to nothing about! Of course I will also continue working on games and other things.

Q: What was it like working with Dan Salvato on DDLC? I know he gave your source materials to inspire your work, so what was that like?

A: Working with Dan was fun and I liked that his vision for the game was very clear. It made my life as the character artist a whole lot easier instead of having to guess what he might like to see.

While I was working on DDLC I was close to graduating high school, so often times my studies had to be prioritized over drawing. It was great that he understood that and was patient with me.

There were a few reference pictures of the characters that existed before I started drawing them. After that, he just sent me random references of poses/clothes etc that really helped me.

Q: What was the biggest challenge you faced working on the game? How did you overcome it?

A: The biggest challenge was probably the process of slowly becoming a better artist. Before DDLC I shied away from drawing full size characters because I had trouble drawing legs/hands or scenes. When I started facing these challenges I slowly became better.

Like mentioned above having references is a huge help. Also mirroring the canvas all the time makes mistakes in your pictures stand out a lot more. After a while you just need a fresh eye on your drawing because you become blind to your own mistakes.

When I look at my drawings that are even just a few days old I suddenly see it in a completely different light and I wonder how those mistakes weren't visible to me before.

Q: What has the fan reaction to the game been like for you?

A: I'm still really surprised by the huge reaction this game has had. Neither I nor Dan expected this at all. At first I thought maybe a few hundred people would write reviews for it on Steam, but to see it climbing towards 100k now is just incredible to me.

Also it's just surreal to me that millions of people saw my art. With that comes a lot of critique and often times I can agree with it. The most common ones are probably that the anatomy is wrong in places. Like I said before, your own mistakes are kind of invisible to you until you take a step back.

But the positive feedback I get on my art has been the majority and I couldn't be more thankful and happy for that! It really means a lot to me to see people appreciating my work.

Overall, I think the community built around this game has been fantastic so far, especially on Reddit. Now and then I go there and laugh at all the creative memes/jokes people make or be impressed by all the fanart.

Q: If you were telling your own story, what would be the lesson or the moral for people to learn from it?

A: When I create my own story, I would want it to show that there's beauty in the little things, that you can find happiness/inspiration anywhere and that life is too short to waste it on things that make you unhappy.

I would want the characters to grow and get past their fears, accomplishing the things they love.

[sparda3g]

5 Reasons Why Tokyo Ghoul Anime Split the Fan Base Apart

After Tokyo Ghoul:re Anime premiered, there were many reactions and feedback that are both positive and negative. It has gotten to the point the old recurring slogan from anime fans made its return that signify manga fans as rude and selfish babies. I am one bad baby then.

But this isn’t about ridiculing the anime or pointing out the superior version that is the manga. No, because that’s already taken care of by millions (and millions) of fans. What I am here for is to discuss on the possible reason why the fan base has been divided. Keep in mind, this is solely based on my opinion; not stating to be fact or confirmed. It’s all based upon reading many comments around the web.

This is the 5 Reasons Why Tokyo Ghoul Anime Split the Fan base apart.

5. Manga Readers Just Want to See Highlights Animated

It became apparent when the opinions are divided into multiple approaches. One in which has people just watch the anime to see the highlight; thus, not caring about the backstory or information that created the lore into a phenomenal one. It could skip all the detail for all they want; so long they get to see the best part animated.

Scenes like Sasaki versus Takizawa or Kaneki makes his complete return during Rose Investigation Arc. It’s probably why the opening straight-up spoiled nearly every key moment of the season, including a big villain that was meant to be in hiding but thanks to the opening, it serves no purpose. Thank you, Studio Pierrot. If there’s one thing that you can argue and I probably would agree with, it’s this season is catering more to the manga fans than the newcomer.

“Phew. For a second, I thought I have to worry about surprises. Thanks, Studio Pierrot.”

If it only wants to show the best part while disregarding many fundamental pieces for plot and characters, then they’re already doing a good job. Sadly, with the new art style and animation yet to be on par with Season 1, I may not be all that please. But for others, that may be perfectly fine.

4. Manga Readers Want the Most Faithful Adaptation

This one is what I can relate to, so allow me to speak briefly on their behalf. Admittedly, we can be selfish and very demanding, but in my case, I don’t mind the scene to be changed and altered to fit the anime sequence. Like in Attack on Titan, where it decided to adapt the backstory of a character that was meant to be hidden until much later on, but at least it is faithful to the original source because the scene still maintains the premise behind it. The issue that fans really have is it altered too much to make it not its kind.

There’s actually a valid reason for that punch, but the anime decided to make Akira as a hard ass boss instead.

They don’t want the series to be seen as action Shounen-esque, hence the downplay and disregard character’s moment that would give them more dimensions and help out them to stick out more than your average trope kind. The first episode left them an impression of what’s already done before in Shounen; however, Ishida in his work purposely did that but created a new layer that made them more than what you usually see. In one chapter, he purposely display the fight in Shounen style; a Tournament, heroine doing the usual praying pose, and the intense atmosphere of glorified rival of the century. That’s Tokyo Ghoul.

Imagine Tokyo Ghoul as a Shounen series...

The fans also despise the tone to be altered too much; gone with the terror and thrills that the series is known for. Again, the pacing was rushed in anime because many points they skipped involve talking and info dump. However, you can’t develop a character at its best without a background or build. You’re only seeing the moment, but not knowing why it’s heavily significant. It hurts to know that other anime adaptation gets treated faithfully in compare; only to evaluate their blood to boiling hot.

3. Some Fans Just Want the Anime Back

There are fans that just want the anime to make a return. For every time the sales does really good in weekly basis, a fan or two would be begging for another season alas “Season 3 when?” Whether they read it or not, they just want the anime to come back. It can fall under any kind of reasons including the one I listed above.

There’s always a moment of fans starts discussing with “It’s been a long time” or “Wow, how much I have missed this series.” Even the ones that don’t like the anime previous seasons would be complimentary towards the next season. Granted, the aftermath is a different story, but they did show gratitude; although, it can be argued that it is for Ishida.

He is one of the most beloved Mangaka today; that is if we based on a poll that ranked him in the top 3 favorite Mangaka. It could be the fans’ way of showing their gratitude towards him for receiving another season. It is said that receiving an anime is a blessing for the Mangaka, regardless if it is good or not. That all said wouldn’t it hurt to plead for a reboot instead, fans? That would be fantastic…

…A man can dream…

2. Anime Fans Stick to Anime Only

After the premiere episode of Tokyo Ghoul:re, there were dozens and dozens of the reactions that simply can be described in one word: What? Many have questioned on whether :re is supposed to take place after Root A or is it a new story with a new protagonist. That is a clear sign of what source they’re following, let alone if they read the manga or not.

Wait. Didn’t he die? What’s going on?

I give them a credit though: they at least prayed that Root A wasn’t canon and felt relieved to know that it has been cancelled out. Although, that creates a new problem: what is happening now. This could be seen as a blessing in disguise because this is where the manga fans can jump in and persuade them to read; probably even convert them to their own wishes. It’s clever when you think about it.

That all said if the anime fans only focus on the anime, then that’s why the anime gets a different opinion other than rushed and unfaithful. They follow what the anime provide them, not what they left out to force you to read the original source. It’s like how I explained my criteria on reviewing anime; if it doesn’t happen in here, I won’t excuse it just because it’s explained elsewhere. They like what they see and although you could argue that the original could provide even better materials, they may not care for it. Why? Because…

1. Simplicity is Justice!

Not so long ago, I have returned to watching anime; only this time, my options are much broader than before. To my recollection, the battle/action genre is the one to get the most views and fans. It is probably the case of different times, so maybe in the past, people wished for drama or heavy story. Today, it looks like nostalgia and action is the key for popularity success.

Why do you think Summer films are considered Summer films? Why do you think films that won the Best Picture don’t draw a lot in the box office compare to the likes of Transformers? Of course, this is pretty subjective but I would argue that the only possible explanation to it is because those films are simple and action-packed. There are smarter films out there, so not all hopes is lost, but the point is the draw relies on beloved franchises, nostalgia, and brain tossed out genres.

Case in point, anime universe isn’t far apart from it. Dragon Ball, Boruto, My Hero Academia, and other Battle Shounen series are the one that attract the audience the most. It’s basically the Summer film of anime. Tokyo Ghoul is not Shounen nor does it highly focus on battles like one-on-one combat. It’s more of a thriller and psychological series that puts the characters and plot first than action. In its anime department, it’s the opposite and in terms of success, it’s probably for the best.

“Hooray! I remember this from the manga!!”

If it were to adapt at the manga pace, fans wouldn’t want to know the background right away, so they want action or a sign that there will be one. You noticed that in Weekly Shounen Jump series first chapter shows what it is about and the action. In Tokyo Ghoul, you are following along the world being explored; not knowing that we will get action like the stuff we know today. After all, it begins with Kaneki running away; is that what we should expect? Instead, anime rushed to chapter 5 for the first action scene; letting the audience know that there’s action.

That all said anime only fans wouldn’t know that there is more to its lore and yet, they’re fine to leave it like that. They probably don’t want to think a lot of its conspiracies, the character’s in-depth progression, the foreshadow pieces, and probably its atmosphere. Everything about the anime is simplified for straightforward narrative. Even Kaneki has changed to more of Shounen protagonist than a human who strives to fit in. The dialogues are toned down to noticeably simplified words, which ultimately changed their character. The action is kept but made to be flashier with Kagune lighting up for whatever reason. All of that is fine.

It’s similar to manga itself in some regards. How there will be a silent chapter, which fans will dislike it because of lack of dialogues. Basically, there are different tastes for everyone. You can be upset at the case of wrong people read this series, but it is smart to let them be and not blow a gasket. I admit, it is a bit frustrating, but I won’t bash them. It’s just a simple case of different strokes, different folks, Anime may have tarnished your beloved series, but don’t let your anger tarnished yourself.

There you have it. That’s how I see the reactions from the premiere and despite myself not fond of the anime, if you enjoy it, that’s fine. I could only wish for the fans to give the manga a chance. Also, a wish for a reboot, but that’s just me being selfish. But one could dream and hope for the best.

Until next time, take care!

[crossgartered]

P5R Liveblog (13/?)

Haru arc

[[MORE]]

Oh...? Are you hung up on Wakaba, too, Doctor?

Oh, Rumi. ...Who's Rumi?

IS IT KASUMI'S SISTER??? bc you know there's weird stuff going on there

Probably not but this is for wild guessing anyway

If we can believe Kasumi then her sister is younger than her

And that'd be pretty weird to talk about in a romantic context

The problem is if kasumi is to be believed

she's dead I know she's dead I don't think she knows she's dead but she's super dead

Or in a coma I guess but let's be real here

I don't trust Shibusawa in the slightest. He's definitely going to try to take that research. I wouldn't be surprised if he was one of those men in black suits, either. He's rich - he goes to the Wilton on a whim, with his "buddies" - he could definitely be one of Shido's men.

OMFNDJD THIS LES MIS KNOCK OFF FILLS ME WITH JOY

Hoo boy. Maruki... I don't think you'll be very pleased with our answer. I do think you have good intentions, now, but you will definitely be an antagonist here.

I'm still really impressed with Chihaya. She really thought that the protag would hate her once she told her story, that her fortune said he was supposed to hate her, and she "never thought [he] would overturn even that fate". And yet, she told him anyway.

A Yusuke & Ann showtime!! : D I wonder what it'll be like?

THATS SO INCREDIBLY ANIME I LOVE IT

Haru idolizing superheroines vs Ann idolizing lady villains fight

I cannot waittt to see what they do with cognitive Haru, if they decided to make her this time around

YUSUKE CAN DUPLICATE IN PALACES?!?!?

A Will Seed with lasers barring the way? Interesting.

FUTABA FINISHING TOUCH FUTABA FINISHING TOUCH!!!!

Huh, it's kinda goofier than I was expecting.

"When a person is continually faced with oppression, they come to welcome its presence." Yusuke : (

"Such psychological trickery is being used here. I... experienced it first-hand for many years." YUSUKE : C

It's kinda nice that those workers are being blocked by lasers instead of us being too intimidated by their number to just go after them. ...Am I remembering this correctly?

Oh, Noir... I'm glad I get the option to ask if she's okay.

The Yumizuki High uniform really does suit Yusuke.

I wonder if there's a way to talk to people about their outfits.

Does Futaba's thing happen in place of Joker's, now? That's kind of a shame

HEY DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE TO HAVE FUTABA SHOWTIMES?!?????

Airlock time.

Man I want to see robot/cyborg Haru so badly come on Okumura I know she's here

This stuff about being okay for 30 sec as long as you close your eyes and mouth sounds wrong but I don't know enough about the condition of the human body in space enough to dispute it so okay I fuess

Anyway this is run by clap your hands if you believe kinda magic so it doesn't really matter anyway (also, thank god for Futaba saying that it'd work)

It's interesting - space factories/stations aren't a typical heist target (nor are castles, tbh, but museums, banks, pyramids, casinos? Naturally) (space stations in general can be, in the right genre. But this is set up a bit unusually for that). Corporate offices of shady companies, however...

Spaceeeeee ahdskdjs this is SO COOL

what the fuck what the fuck was something else going through the airlock?!?!

Ugh, how aggravating. I had been able to get the Will Seed the entire time until I pulled the lever that allowed me to progress

What is this shadow???? I'm not sure I know it! "Pagan savior", huh?

No, guys, there's another airlock room. Stop saying 'the treasure is just beyond that door!' when there is a whole other area/floor to go through. Especially since you have a map

Futaba gets motion sickness...oh no I'm so sorry ;u;

I...actually remembered the first half of the solution to the transfer line. I got out of there in practically no time. Heck yeah!

"Thou hast to awakened to the ultimate secret of the Sun, granting thee infinite power..." Yoshida...! TAT

I always end up maxing him right around the end of Okumura's Palace. I feel so bad. His newfound popularity is gonna absolutely tank soon. ;-;

Man, who even gets elected after the populace starts caring again? I don't know how Japanese politics works, really, like at all, honestly, but probably he has a subordinate who can take his place. But like, his whole crew's gotta be corrupt, right? Especially someone who'd be his replacement. Though honestly, considering how paranoid he got by the end, he probably chose someone weak-willed in order to prevent

Oh wait hold on I just looked up how this works. Apparently, uh...

Huh. I'm not sure if the cabinet resigns if the prime minister does usually or if that's just if the house passes a vote of no confidence. But, the prime minister appoints the ministers, so if the prime minister changes then there could be an issue there, probably?

But anyway. Looks like the Diet would immediately try to vote for a different person once the prime minister seat is vacant.

Huh, I wonder who gets voted in, then. Well, we only know of 2 candidates other than Shido, and Yoshida doesn't have the funding or even (yet) the popularity to become prime minister, so Matsushida is really the only other choice unless they pick someone we haven't heard about.

Oh my GOD I hate the school. They're being such assholes to Kasumi. She got 3rd place!!! That's amazing!!! This isn't even a school specializing in gymnastics!!!!!! YOU SPECIALIZED IN VOLLEYBALL AND EVEN IF THAT WERENT THE CASE YOURE TERRIBLE

*ahem* Anyway.

You can tell that Maruki is quietly pissed and honestly? Valid. Super valid. Same, Maruki, same.

She's not gonna get that text, with how her phone is.

"we took in those sisters to improve Shujin's standing, but at this rate, we're only going to end up suffering for it." Oh??? Oh??????

"not only have we lost one of them, but the other ones not doing us any good. Talk about a waste of effort..." Hooooly shit you asshole

Wait, hold on, it's October already????!? November's just a month away!! I have less than 3 months for social linking! And I still haven't maxed knowledge or kindness! (Or guts, but whatever) I've only maxed 1 person! Although I'm close to maxing Ryuji & Ann & Yusuke. And some npcs

AHHHHH CUTSCENE CUTSCENE!!!!

So the keywords - lab, stadium, and ... Either Maruki or Kasumi for the person. OH MAN AND EITHER WAY IM ALREADY IN MY PHANTOM THIEF CLOTHES

ONE OF THEM DOESNT TRUST ME

It's probably Maruki, right? Bc of the lab... But also I thought the whole wish fulfillment thing was going to be his cogpsi project... With the help of Jose, maybe...

Speaking of Jose, Jose looks like a toy, especially with that hair and those ears. I wonder what material he's supposed to be? Based on the ears I'd say plastic, maybe, but the hair looks more ceramic to me.

Anyway, back to the relevant FUCKING PALACE WOOHOO

I haven't even sent a calling card for Okumura yet so we're not dealing with this anytime soon

Ooh, this music... <3

Oh man, I totally forgot I had Morgana in the maid costume. I gotta get him into something more serious

Why is dancewear not the p5dsn costume??

This is...really empty...

I am suddenly really scared at what the people are going to look like

There are pigeons here...

But wait, if this is Maruki's Palace, then this is bc of all his grief... He doesn't want anyone to hurt, ever again. The people will be their ideal selves, probably...

...I'd love to see a cognition of myself, tbh. That won't happen, but I'd love it.

This place is really beautiful... With the music it seems like a sad place...

Look at all these wires

That's probably the sister, right?

Unless that's the cognition of Yoshizawa when she was alive and her current self is her ideal self.

The shadow attacked the cognition???!?!

YUP this is definitely Maruki's Palace

Hmm. Interesting.

Oh, Cendrillon really is perfect for her, huh.

SHES DOING A MAGICAL GIRL TRANAFORMATION WHAY

WHAT

WHY????

IM NOT UPSET ITS JUST A LITTLE WHAT????

Does her outfit look like mine a little bit bc she's using me as a role model for her source of confidence - confidence that she is using/interpreting for her inner rebellious spirit?

Wait, lost my train of thought

Aww, I mistimed that. I was hoping to get a Kasumi finishing touch

MORGANA-SENPAI

It is definitely an unfair consequence

Oh, so that's why, narratively, her phone sucks. It's to prevent us from figuring out whose Palace it is.

Yeah, this time it's entirely on you, Morgana.

... it's because of gymnastics? And not because you disagree with us on an ideological level? ...okay. sure. Whatever.

Hoo boy. This is gonna suck when Okumura has his mental shutdown. I wonder how she'll react.

She is of the Faith arcana, whatever that means. Maybe she'll keep faith in me? I did max her half-confidant

It's cool, Kasumi. I really didn't do much. You may have a debt of gratitude or whatever but like you don't actually need to repay it. Just keep being my friend and maybe one day you'll quit keeping score

*sigh*

If only. Too bad you're probably dead.

SHOWTIME WITH HARU? SHOWTIME WITH HARU? PLEASE?

Oh, Mona-chan. I figured as much, but I was still hoping...

Anyway, Haru&Mona showtime still very good!

Man, I would kill to hear their explanations for what they're doing.

...this is incredibly violent, isn't it? I anticipate it with bated breath

Oh man, can you imagine a showtime with Kasumi? Maybe with Akechi, if Atlus isn't going to give me one

Which, fair enough, from a gameplay standpoint

Still. : (

"the Phantom Thief Basic Training"?

Oh, good, we're actually addressing cognitive people with Haru.

Oh, this is either gonna suck if they address the implications, or we're gonna see cognitive Haru. >: 3

Dream world, huh...

THE YUSUKE-HARU FRIENDSHIP IS SO UNDERSTATED AND UNDERRATED I WANT MORE CONTENT

THERE SHE IS!!! THERE SHW IS!!!!

Oh, man, I had a lot of feelings during that fight. That time limit though

I like how they updated this fight

Although I think I'm a little underleveled, potentially. I could not destroy her before she self-destructed, and it took me a while to beat the chief directors and executive director. Oneshotted Okumura himself, though.

OH MAN I SHOULD HAVE READ THIS BILLIARDS BOOK EARLIER

I DIDNT REALIZE I COULD INCREASE MY TECHNICALS????

I already thought that technicals were beefed up from how they were - I guess this is part of that!

Wish I had another book on kindness, ugh.

SO THATS HOW THEY CHANGED POSITION HACK

Ann & Haru have such similar colors. I wish they would have darkened Haru's a little bit more

Wait I never got to see the Haru-Mona showtime

I even had both in my party : (

GOD IWAI YOU'RE SO SHADY

I forgot to start his social link until now whoops

Although I've only had my guts high enough for past ~2ish weeks so there's that at least

Guh, I have to get to Mementos and start up Shinya's...

How many part-time jobs does this have? Like, 5? Maybe 6, if you count him helping out Sojiro? The convenience store, the beef bowl place, the flower shop, Crossroads, and now the gun shop. Anything I'm missing? I feel like I'm missing one.

Desire & Hope is really pretty. The Desire underneath is kinda weirdly desaturated compared to the hope, though. Not sure if it actually works as well as Desire did by itself. Idk. They're both good, but I liked how Desire looked a bit more. I understand that D&H has personal meaning, though. Who knows, maybe in person I would feel differently

I kinda really like that Yusuke tends to go more abstract with his stuff, even if he does try out a bunch of different styles

Maxing Yusuke. And thank god for Affinity Readings. Finally got Ryuji at a point where I can max him.

Oh. I had forgotten how Kamu Susano-o looks. ...

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 1 Chapter 1

Into the Unknown

Genre: Fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, Adventure, Horror

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Played as: Straight

Style: Adaptation Divergence

Synopsis: 7 human souls to break the barrier. 7 humans who travel through the wood. And perhaps all of them are necessary this time.

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.  

Next Chapter

“it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming...on days like this, kids like you…

Should be burning in hell.”

In the back of their mind—because that was all they really could do at the moment—Frisk wondered if sans rehearsed that speech. Either way, he said it the same way nearly every time. It was only when he tried to catch them off guard did he stop halfway, fire a Gaster-Blaster at them before they would expect it. Back before this happened, back when they could go to Grillby's and be friends, sans mentioned that he didn't actually have much memory of the timeloops. His knowledge came from notebooks and journals meticulously kept for someone so lazy. What memories he had came through nightmares.

In a way, Frisk envied him.

The battle started. Frisk felt their sins crawling along their back. The body moved forward, the soul dodging every attack as best it could, all without Frisk's thought or input. Neither had been Frisk's for a very long time.

sans had stopped his attack. He still dodged theirs, but didn't move otherwise. Sweat poured from his forehead, especially surprising since he didn't have skin cells.

“uh. hey. you really like swinging that thing around, huh?” The skeleton said. The attack stopped, if only for a second. “listen. friendship. it's really great, huh? let's quit fighting.”

sans was sparing them.

And Frisk so desperately wanted to accept it. Find a way to restart everything from the beginning and be especially good. Their body, however, wasn't listening.

After all that, you still think you're in control?

Something wet was moving on their face. Blood, Frisk reckoned. It couldn't have been their tears if their body wasn't theirs anymore.

sans dodged the slash of the knife.

“well. it was worth a shot, anyway.”

Their soul collided with another attack, and ripped in half.

Game Over

“if we're really friends, you won't come back.”

He was probably right.

* Reset

One is a Bird An Undertale/Coraline crossover fanfiction By the Poor Sap Advocate

Chapter 1

When Coraline woke up, she had no idea where she was.

It took her a minute to pull herself off of the cold earth and think back. She had been exploring the new apartments, she remembered that much. Her Dousing Staff had only led her to an old empty well…

She then realized just how dark it was. Her eyes ran to the only source of sunlight in the room: above. She had fallen, she realized. She had fallen down that well, and still survived. A pang of worry echoed in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t quite figure out why. This would be a much better place to explore! Perhaps down here she could find something actual of worth, like mice that actually sang and danced, or a talking cat, or…

A golden flower, looking at her with a very confused expression.

“Huh.” The flower said. “I honestly wasn’t expecting that.”

“Wasn’t expecting what?” Coraline asked, equal parts confused and offended.

The flower’s expression changed, as if it thought of something. “Oh, nothing. You’re new to the Underground, aren’t ya? Well, how about I teach you how things work around here?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, let me show ya!”

The world flickered, like a candle. Coraline’s attention fell to the orange heart hovering in front of her.

“That’s your SOUL!” The flower said. “It’s the very culmination of your being. It can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV.”

“LV?” Coraline repeated.

“Love!” The flower said, as if he weren’t quite sure himself.

A group of white seeds hovered around the flower. “Monsters can share love with you with these…little white friendliness pellets! So go ahead! Catch as many as you can!”

“Wow. You’re just as dumb as they were.” The flower spoke again.

More pellets surrounded Coraline’s SOUL.

“DIE.”

The flower’s laughter stopped abruptly. Coraline looked up from her Soul, no longer surrounded in white. She looked up further, where she saw a figure.

“My, what a loathsome creature, torturing a poor, innocent youth…”

When Frisk woke up, they had no idea where they were.

It took them a minute to realize that their body was theirs, and they could get up whenever they wanted. When they did, they noticed the room wasn’t one they recognized. It wasn’t the Judgement Hall, like they had feared. It wasn’t the entrance to the Underground, like they had hoped. It was a bedroom, and it looked a lot like Toriel’s.

Remembering what happened to Toriel the last time they had met sent a wave of nausea over Frisk. They reached for a SAVE file.

Nothing happened.

Had they ever Saved in Toriel’s house? They couldn’t quite remember. Frisk had never stayed around in Toriel’s house long enough.

This wasn’t Toriel’s house. It looked a lot like it, but it wasn’t quite right. There was no basket full of shoes that had not been worn for ages. The toys lacked the layer of dust, like they had been used recently. Smells of butterscotch and cinnamon and fire magic didn’t hover in the air.

Something was wrong.

Frisk bolted from the room and rushed to where they knew Toriel would be. Her reading chair. She was always in her reading chair, no matter what timeline Frisk found themselves in.

They found Toriel in the kitchen.

It was Toriel, unmistakably. The same white fur, if a little brighter, the same purple tunic, if a bit nicer-kept, and the same motherly aura about her. Yet she was different. Her Soul, Frisk realized, was different. They didn’t quite know how, or even how they knew; the first time they had ever analyzed a Soul was when they first entered the Underground, and things haven’t changed much since then.

When she turned around from the stove, Frisk realized the biggest different. Two, black button eyes.

“Hello my child,” She spoke. “Did you sleep okay?”

Frisk fought to keep a straight face. Their hands shook as they signed, though that was often the case. They weren’t sure if they had signed that correctly, or even if it was spelled correctly. They had never thought of a nickname for Toriel that was easier to sign, and now they weren’t sure if they were allowed to.

The thing that was not Toriel’s face contorted, for just a second, into confusion. Frisk recognized the face easily. Few people they spoke to knew sign language. Even less would sign back to them. Toriel was the first, and one of the only.

“Oh. I’m the Other Toriel, my child.” She said. She didn’t sign back. Once Toriel figured it out, they would always sign as they spoke.

“Everyone has an other mother,” the Other Toriel continued. “I thought this form would be more…acceptable to you.”

That one was true, at least. Frisk may have never thought of Toriel as their mother (only once. They wouldn’t let themselves do it again.), but even Jerry was preferable to their real mother. If this other Toriel had thought that far ahead, then perhaps they were nice?

“Now then, why don’t you go wash up and find your other father, so we can have dinner?” the Other Toriel said as she worked on carving the pie. “It’s been a long time since you’ve had a proper meal, hasn’t it?”

Toriel was married? This Toriel was married? Frisk had never seen another person in the house…or really anyone Toriel interacted that wasn’t sans. But the idea of a proper meal, especially one that wasn’t made of dust and magic, was too pleasing for Frisk to turn down.

Frisk poked their head over the Other Toriel’s shoulder, just quick enough to see what the pie was made of.

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie

At least it isn’t snails. Does not heal, but is part of a balanced breakfast.

Even when they were at their worst, Toriel’s pie always healed. They wondered if the Other Toriel just didn’t get the recipe right

The figure in front of Coraline looked equal parts goat and equal parts human, standing on two feet yet covered in white fur. Despite her rather impressive size, the sharpness of her teeth, and the two horns on her head, she seemed to be doing everything in her power to appear non-threatening.

“Do not be afraid, child. I am Toriel, the caretaker of these Ruins.” She spoke.

Toriel bent down and offered Coraline a hand. Coraline took it, if only to pull herself back up.

“I come through these Ruins every day to see if anyone has fallen down.” Toriel continued. “You are the first human to come down here in a long time. Allow me to guide you through the catacombs.”

If she held onto Toriel’s hand a little longer, she didn’t realize. And Toriel didn’t let go until Coraline did.

Frisk found the Other Toriel’s husband outside the house. He was a large goat-like monster like she was, with bigger horns on his head, a wilder mane, and a rather well-kept beard. He even wore a similar tunic to Toriel’s, but for some reason Frisk couldn’t understand, it looked out of place on him. Like the Other Toriel, his eyes were big black buttons, carefully sewn in.

But what Frisk noticed first was the garden. Outside of Toriel’s house was rather dry, with only one old tree where the leaves fell off the second they could grow. Here, the ground was nearly covered in lush greens, with only a walkway of stone to interrupt it. Flowers blossomed from every corner of the yard; bright blues and deep reds. The tree was ripe with flowers of all sorts, yet there were still plenty of fall leaves around it that Frisk could jump into if they choose to. And there was sky, dark and covered in stars.

No golden flowers were in the garden, although the real Underground was full of them. Frisk wondered if that was intentional.

“Is someone there?” The other monster asked. “Just a moment. I have to finish watering these flowers…Here we are!”

He stood and turned to them. He towered over the child, but they weren’t intimidated. Rather, they were curious. He looked familiar, in a way that Frisk couldn’t describe. They had seen him before, but not in a Reset. And if it wasn’t a Reset, they had no idea where else he could have come from. The phrase “Mr. Dad Guy” entered their mind, but they had no idea why.

“Howdy!” Mr. Dad Guy said. “How may I help you, little one?”

Frisk signed to tell him breakfast was ready. A similar strain of confusion entered the other’s face as he interpreted the signs, but it passed just as quickly as it had with the Other Toriel.

“Let us not keep her waiting then, shall we?” said Mr. Dad Guy.

Mr. Dad Guy walked Frisk back through the house and to a dinner table that Frisk was sure was never in Toriel’s house. Toriel rarely had other people she could eat with, they realized. They had never eaten with Toriel. Pie had always been left in the room when they slept but that was not a meal and it was not eaten with her.

Maybe the Other Toriel realized this, and that’s why the table was piled with more food than Frisk thought one could make. A golden-roasted chicken, fried potatoes, tiny green peas. Spaghetti covered in a sauce of finely smashed tomatoes, greasy burgers and fries that smelled like Grillby’s, instant noodles, a three-tier cake with Welcome Home! written in icing cursive. Small cars moved along the table, depositing gravy for the meats and ketchup for the burgs. A butterscotch-cinnamon pie sitting at the center of it.

“Aren’t you going to eat, young one?” Mr. Dad Guy asked.

With all the Resets, Frisk had forgotten the last time they had a meal of human food. They had forgotten a long time ago what it was like when that food was freely given. They shoveled as much food as they could into their mouth.

“We have been waiting for you for a long time,” the Other Toriel said. “It wasn’t the same without you. But we knew you would come home one day. Perhaps tomorrow you can help your father in the garden. Or I can show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I can even prepare a curriculum for your education.”

In the end, Toriel didn’t guide Coraline through the entirety of the Ruins. She left her someplace safe, where she could wait while she ran errands. Coraline, however, decided to explore herself. She met Vegetoids and Migosps and a whole variety of creatures she could have never thought of. She bought donuts from a bake sale run by spiders. She would talk to Froggits and Moldsmals, and though they rarely moved beyond hip-wiggling and ribbiting, they were quite meaningful.

She explored the Ruins until she came across a tree where leaves dried off as soon as they grew, and behind that, a house. Seeing such a cute, tidy house in the middle of the Ruins filled Coraline with something, but she wasn’t sure quite was.

She didn’t think of getting closer until she saw Toriel exit, a bag of groceries in her paws.

“My child!” said Toriel. “Did you walk all the way here?”

“It wasn’t too bad,” said Coraline. “I had to do battle with a ghost, but it was okay because I complimented their hat and they let me go.”

The best part of saying that was that Coraline was not making any of that up. The second best part was, though she looked annoyed for just a second at the prospect of anyone fighting Coraline, Toriel laughed and smiled and believed her. Her mother never did any of that no matter what kind of story Coraline told. She usually just shrugged her off and told her to do chores.

It was the first time in her time in the Underground that Coraline thought of her mother.

Toriel lead Coraline through the house. She showed her a room she could stay the night in. They had butterscotch cinnamon pie for dinner. Coraline read through old books of monster history until she realized all textbooks were rather dry.

But then Coraline had to think realistically. She had to get back to the Pink Palace.

“Thank you for everything, Miss Toriel, but I really need to get back home,” Coraline said. “How do I leave the Ruins?”

Toriel grew quiet. With her paws shaking, she removed her reading glasses and rose from her chair.

“I’m afraid there is something I must do, little one. Please wait here.”

She left, and then Coraline grew nervous. She followed Toriel, down the stairs of the house and into a dark corridor that didn’t look at all like the tidy home. When she found Toriel, it was in front of a large door.

“You truly wish to return home, do you not?” Toriel asked. “Ahead of us is the exit to the Ruins. And I am going to destroy it. No one will be able to leave again. Now run upstairs.”

“I have to get home! To my real mom and dad!” said Coraline.

“You are just like the others. You come. You leave. You’ll die. He…ASGORE…will find you. I am only doing this to protect you.”

“I can defend myself. I want to get home.”

“Then prove it. Prove you’re strong enough to survive.”

A FIGHT broke out. Toriel blocks the way.

Coraline grew used to the feeling of her Soul leaving her body. However, she was not used to the feeling of monster bullets hurdling towards her. It did not help that Toriel’s bullets were flames, raging with heat as they passed and singing her jacket and Soul as they hit.

Yet Coraline stayed determined. She was perhaps not the best at dodging, but the FIGHTS with the other monsters of the Ruins had prepared her well. It was no different than her father moving around the hornets. She ran through the flames, letting her jacket take what she couldn’t allow her Soul to hit.

“Why are you fighting me?” Coraline asked. “I thought you wanted me to stay safe!”

“I do,” said Toriel. “This is what’s best for you!”

“You think trying to kill me is what’s best for me? How is that different than those monsters you want to protect me from! How is that different than Asgore!”

The flames returned, tenfold. Coraline couldn’t dodge them all.

As she pulled herself off the floor, she looked through Toriel. She looked shocked at her own power, eyes wide and paw covering her mouth.

“Do not compare me to him,” said Toriel. “Just fight already.”

Coraline stood up, but did not move.

“I know you want to go home…but you must understand. I cannot lose another.”

Toriel went down to the entrance of the Underground every day. How many children, Coraline realized, has she seen fall down? How many of them could she not save? How long was it before the last one left?

“Stop looking at me like that,” Toriel said.

She couldn’t.

“Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child.”

“Their deaths aren’t your fault,” said Coraline. “And keeping me here won’t solve anything.”

“I understand. The Ruins are very small, once you get used to them,” said Toriel. “My expectations, my loneliness, my fear…for you, I shall put them aside.”

The FIGHT ended.

“If you truly wish to leave the Ruins, I will not stop you,” Toriel continued. “But please, do not come back. I hope you understand.”

Coraline had no idea what to say about any of this. About the mother in mourning, about respecting someone who attacked her, about having to travel through the world of monsters alone. So she settled for “I did mean it. Thank you for everything you’ve done.” and walked through the door.

Author’s Note: So there are about 3 games that I trust any let’s player to play well, and I watch a lot of let’s players. Until Dawn, Pony Island…and Undertale. I’ve watched a lot of Undertale playthoughs. I really enjoy this game, or at least most of it. I wanted to write an Undertale crossover fic, and then I realized I wanted to write a lot of them. And then I realized that any Undertale crossover is inherently the same, or at least the way I wanted to write it, so I decided to make all of them into one mega-fic.

This is a bit of an unusual experience for me, considering that at the time of this posting, I am not finished with the complete fic yet. I do not do this, usually. Everything you see has been ordered, signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. But I decided that I wanted to post more. Hopefully this pays out and I won’t have to skip a few weeks.

So welcome to Into the Unknown.

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter Anime Final Impressions

I was supposed to do this like two weeks ago but with Gundam ending so late and me getting swept up with many things, I didn’t have the time, but here’s a quick rundown of the best and worst of the Winter season. I’m gong from best to worst and also since I watched very few shows this season, I ‘m not gonna break them down in best/meh/worst

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen

A masterpiece to the very end, as heartbreaking as it was full of joy and love. There was this weird insinuation at the end that didn’t sit well with me at all and I’m not sure why they felt the need to do it, but I can overlook it because the rest of the picture is so wonderful and special and heart-wrenching. When Konatsu asked Yakumo to make her his apprentice, I actually cried. What a beautiful show. Don’t let the obscure antique Japanese art keep you from experiencing one of the best anime of this decade.

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto-hen

I was a bit worried about this one because lately, when an “old” show gets a sequel many years after it last aired, said sequel turns out underwhelming and poorly done. See D.Grayman HALLOW (which also adapted my favorite arc from that manga) and Berserk (production values aside, the decline of this is due to Miura’s gross storytelling, so I guess it was inevitable). But I was more than surprised and ecstatic to see this rendition of the Kyoto arc did justice on the source material, with excellent production values, a good pace and wonderful emotional and action scenes alike. AoEx is one of the finest examples of the battle shonen genre and that translated wonderfully to this new iteration of the anime. I can only hope we’ll see Izumo’s and Shura’s arc eventually too.

ACCA-13-ku Kansatsuka

I was a Little on the fence on this one at the start, but once they laid down all the cards and tied all the loose threads, it became absolutely amazing. I’m sorry I ever doubted you Natsume Ono, your ability to craft smart and fascinating adult stories shall never be questioned again. Definitely worth checking out if you want to try something different to your usual anime genres. Helps that the visuals are really interesting and that Mauve is such a bae. I still feel Jean was the weakest link with his absolute nonchalance, but even that somehow worked at the end. Definitely worth going through the somewhat slow initial episodes.

Yowamushi Pedal: New Generation

NGL i’m not a fan of Kaburagi, he’s so much like Naruko I don’t feel he adds anything to the team. But this is now officially the Teshima show and that compensates for the snooze that is Kaburagi because Teshima has become so fabulous and cool I’m just excited every week to see what he’ll do next. Also the First-year race was a true highlight and I’m very disappointed Sugimoto didn’t make the cut, they did a fantastic job in making him likable, so it was sad to see him lose. Hopefully he’ll get to assist Imaizumi when they’re 3rd years.

Little Witch Academia

This show’s a lot of fun, with really sweet animation and it also sports the Best Girl of the season, Sucy Manbavaaran, although I gotta say there were a bit too many fillerish episodes and it was frustrating to see them take so long to get the plot going. I’m not hating on the show, it is in fact extremely entertaining, but it’s a little lacking on the plot department. Hopefully we’ll get more of that on the second cour.

Classicaloid

I’ve never been happier of not quitting a show as I am about Classicaloid. By episode 3 I was on the verge of giving up because it wasn’t what I had expected, but I kept going and I ended falling so hard in love with this show I’m ecstatic it’s getting a second season. Once I embraced the absurdity, it became the best comedy of the season, and I honestly would watch Schubert’s fishy misadventures for 52 weeks a year. It’s an acquired taste for sure and not easy to recommend, but if you’re willing to let go of all reason, you’re sure to have a good time.

All Out!!

I have a lot of love for this show and its characters (and Sekizan’s ridiculous hair), but I’m afraid the pacing they chose basically doomed them because with the abysmal sales, it seems unlikely we’ll ever see a second season and therefore we’ll never get to see if Jinko does get to Hanazono. It’s a perfectly competent sports series, that does a really good job of developing its huge cast, definitely much better than the likes of Prince of Stride or DAYS, but its inconclusive ending is quite frustrating. I really do hope we get to see more of these boys, but Madhouse’s never been all that good with the whole getting-sequels-done so…

Kuzu no Honkai

In spite of its low ranking, this is actually a really good show and a unique take on teenage female sexuality that you wouldn’t normally see in this mostly sexist medium. Hanabi made for a truly interesting protagonist and I liked seeing her explore herself and her relationships. I was however quite disappointed by how little focus we actually had for Hanabi and Mugi’s relationship. I felt there was more telling than showing in that regard, especially in the latter half of the show. The ending was pretty good and mature in spite of everything, and as always, I’m just really fond of all the vaginal imagery in the ED animation. Could’ve done without Moca though.

Gundam: Tekketsu Orphans

At the end of the Fall season, I expressed my concern about pointless, meaningless deaths. Clearly the Gundam writers thought I wasn’t concerned enough because the amount of characters that died pointless deaths went on to, I think, the double digits. I wouldn’t have minded the carnage if there had been some sort of payoff to the sacrifices. For example, if Shino hadn’t stupidly and conveniently missed his one shot because the show couldn’t afford to kill Rustal yet. I always felt Orga, Mika and Akihiro had a ton of death flags looming over their heads, but I certainly didn’t expect all three of them to get to the chopping block. Orga’s death was particularly random and pointless, but then again, what they did with Orga in general was very confusing. That he agreed to McGillis’s sketchy propositions to become “king of Mars” never made a whole lot of sense to me and that’s the result we got. I’ll also never get over how creepy and weird the whole Atra giving Mika a baby thing was. In short, I have very mixed feelings about it.

Hand Shakers

I could write thousands of words for everything that was wrong with this series but I think it wouldn’t make justice to the absolute experience that is watching this amazing trainwreck. Go watch it to see a masterclass of how not to anime. Honestly I had such a good time hating this show, it was so horrible in every possible way. Good job GoHands, even animate, who sponsored this show, won’t give it any publicity.

Super Lovers

I’m not sure of how this production team managed to put out 20 episodes of nothing actually happen. Like you just have to give kudos to the writers for managing to simply not do anything over the course of 6~ hours of content. No drama, no decent comedy, no character development, not even relationship development in a BL romance. It’s kind of amazing how pointless the whole thing is. The dog’s still cute and the relationship is still creepy and gross and that’s about all there is to say about this.

Although most of the shows I watched turned out great, it did feel like a weaker season because there wasn’t that much that was interesting (my Wednesdays were literally empty). Or maybe everything looks lackluster in this post-Yuri on Ice world D: But there was Rakugo and rakugo is good and I’m glad we live in an age in which such a niche, quiet and adult artistic show could be made and tell a complete story.

[putris-et-mulier]

This shit is why I prefer reading scanlations (as opposed to licensed manga in a graphic novel)

Note: I talk about fangirls and fanboys not referring to gender or sexuality, but in the social structure way of being in a geeky subculture split into two subcultures of its own: consumerist geeks (fanboys) and creative geeks (fangirls)

Honestly, and this is super overdramatic, but I kind of feel loved when I read scanlations. Whether it's funny things like this to cover up unavoidable things that the licensed version could easily get around or a word is misspelled it makes me appreciate the work people have put into it and how proud I am to be part of that tradition.

One page takes multiple people working together just to share something they already have with other fans and depending on the fandom also made it mandatory for work like this to be done by people of different races regions of the country. The Internet was a huge boon because before that it was strictly zines and people in your neighborhood but it also added an element of people from different countries also being required to interact.. It's a lot easier now but in the 90s fangirls, much like our foremothers, somehow worked as a hive mind. No matter who you were or what languages you spoke you could contribute. (Six And I would argue you still can.) I was so lucky to near different Asian communities as well as like a lot of pop culture from Asia. When we were able to go, and had money, we would go and pick up specific titles, if possible, of things the translators wanted or else just get anything that seems the most unfamiliar. It could become a prized jewel of an OTP.

I think it's harder to feel like a community now because the "regular" fans who can't produce art or fiction or translations or brilliant meta have a lot less of a role. They are who kept the community tight and in contact with each other while those of us who could would lose a couple days because we were scanning every single page of a stack of graphic novels or magazines. I knew that if I ever needed to know or find anything I could just shout it out into the fangirl void and I would get an immediate answer because the "regular" fans were librarians on speed. That's how I met one of my closest friends, cosmic, the one I do the podcast and everything with. One of us was very loud and had a platform while the other lurked everywhere and saved everything. When I found out years later that she had seen something I had made before we met and she liked it was amazing. I wasn't upset that other people had taken it and put it on other websites or that she had taken it (and probably immediately delete it, such a jerk) I was really honored. 

It always breaks my heart when someone writes in about the podcast or something else and says that they wish they could have friends with a relationship like ours, not just because we are close but because we like different things and have different opinions and not only still get along, we respect each other's opinion and genuinely listen to each other even if we both know we will never let the other person have the last word. I've never met cosmic in person but I've known her for almost half my life exactly but I love her, she's my sister, and we wouldn't have met if the two of us were in fandom now because of the strict class differences.

The "regular" people who surfed around saving pictures and reading over any public conversation knew everything and if they didn't know they knew someone who did. Don't get me wrong, those people who didn't talk to anyone, whether to be informative or just be friendly, were despised lurkers.

The "regular" jobs are easier now but the etiquette laws are a lot more strict. It was a lot simpler when it was all just illegal and "credit to whoever made this" was widely accepted. Mostly because someone would immediately tell everyone who the creator was and people were genuinely interested in the answer because seeing anything new meant that there was something going on somewhere that you aunt and there could be things you have seen yet. It was also a lot easier to excommunicate people from the community who did things like steal fanart/fic because everyone had one IP address.

Everyone's biggest concern was sharing source material with each other, I see fans now who make gifs who are adamant about people not using them or if they do use them to credit them even if they put a watermark on it and I… That perplexes me.

Gifs were my shit, I did them for years and I started back when you did it by taking a screen cap of every frame but you would have to rewind after taking one cap and go back to hope you can identify the next one. It's because videos were impossible for so many people to view but gifs were something everyone could load at least one of if they had a few hours. It was imperative to the fandoms that connected overseas or through a different language like anime and manga fandoms. I would put hours and hours and so many fucking hours into making these things because I was an American with a good Internet connection and parents who hadn't yet found out the dangers™ of the World Wide Web™. I would lovingly make gifs of my OTPs and then begrudgingly make gifs of my nOTPs of things I was even an anti-fan of (usually a competing boy band fandom) because I had the ability to do it and there were tasteless bitches out there who couldn't and might not be able to see it unless I did it and I did this for them and I did because they were my sisters.

Also it made a fandom look bad if the anti-fandom had them out before you.

So, just like sisters.

It's so much easier to make gifs now and the majority of people have the ability to watch the original videos so people making gifs are doing the ones that they love to share with other people that also love them. But that's it? You don't want people to save them and post them as many places as possible so everyone can see what you love? Is that love? It sounds like an abusive relationship, like, "your family is allowed to come over if I know about it in advance but you can't go out with your girl friends anymore" kind of thing.

I get that a majority of fandom still only follows things through gifs so the work is still important but it's so easy to do now and unless you are in a rare fandom someone else is probably already making it. That's why I stopped; but that's another holdover I have from old fandom culture because if I made a gif of something and then someone else did it was a huge insult, and insult I would not make. 

Fanart/fic is different so although my being old school makes me less sympathetic to people who don't watermark (and people who cut off watermarks were the scum of the earth) it's also less important than the issue that corporations that have been stealing fanart/fic. Fanart/fic being published, putting fan works under their licenses, it's the thing is a community should be at least concerned about. That goes for people whose fanart is shown on TV or fan fiction is read on TV or a podcast. Fangirls from my era have literally put together legal teams to fight this. I'm proud that a lot of us have used our grown-up skills to still participate in fandom and aren't ashamed of their age.

But gifs? The tiny moving picture you made purely for self-indulgence makes you mad? I get that we came up in different fan cultures but I saw a gif on this website that I had made a decade ago on servers that no longer exist and I cried.

I had made something that I loved and not only did other people love it enough to keep it this whole time but it was thing that people who weren't even born when I made it are enjoying. They are looking at the same little pixels as their foremothers did having the same experience as generations of fans from around the world.

I sound like a fucking hippie but I swear to God I was born in the 80s and I have an obscene amount of Terminator trivia to prove it.

One of our foremothers, who in respect will remain nameless, literally invented slash as the Western genre and she didn't want anyone to know who she was. That seems a little extreme to me but that was the generation before me and so I suppose my generation probably seems out of date.

Regardless of my communist attitude I would be pretty disgruntled doing that job in this current time because you are required to do a great and unique job or no one will even notice what you made. Even if you have a huge talent for it seeing anyone insult you or just not be thankful would be infuriating.

I can also sympathize with the "regular" fans now who feel like they don't have a place. I've had a lot of people tell me that they feel guilty or they are embarrassed that they can't make anything, they can only share it, and I've also had people tell me that they wanted to get into a fandom but because they couldn't make anything they didn't bother because no one cares about them. They didn't watch movies or read books or comic books or listen to music that they may have come to really love and would play an important role in their life. They stick to their wheelhouse and their wheelhouse is what society says people that look or live a certain way determines what the you are allowed to consume.

If that isn't obvious I'll put it simply: diversity becomes more and more scarce this way. People always start with what they are expected to enjoy. Everyone comes into their hobbies and interests starting with what they've been given, already we start out with segregated media/merchandise depending on any minority or "demographic" but people coming into fandom are now coming in already segregated, even amongst people geographically similar to them. The culture of fandom, at least girl fandom, depended on people of different kinds to work together. Diversity is the lifeblood of a subculture like this/these.

The "real" fandom, the part of fandom that has kept the culture going since even the 1700s going, are the ones wasting their time with this because they genuinely love it, if you found something you love that much the fandom becomes your family. Kind of like Drag… Which makes sense because it's art based off of pre-existing work. We form a relatively diverse (based on subcultures) patriarchal communities with people who become closer to us than family, and we half ironically use matriarchal terms and even feminine pronouns universally. Straight dudes in our community were flattered when people assumed they were girls. If a straight dude could pass as a girl on a message board he would get all of the straight girl ass.

I'm not saying that's great or isn't incredibly problematic, I'm just saying… What am I saying? I guess I'm saying that smart straight guys not  afraid of masculinity's fragility enough to be effeminate always have stacks of girlfriends. Guys that try that now and fail call it being "friendzoned."

Maybe that's why I love straight guys, I knew all the greatest ones because they were the guys that got into our communities. They were all annoying perverted assholes but they have been some of the best people I've ever known. And they were smart enough to know how to socialize with women naturally enough to understand their relaxed social cues and then they know what the flirting language is amongst general straight women and they use the girls own language to seduce them. That's a good strategy and also safer because you both will have the same expectations of how to broadcast what you are thinking or going to do. And you know how people think that people with foreign accents sound sexy? It's like that but instead of the tone of your voice you could just use a regionless DVD player and some anime.

Straight girls now just have… A bunch of grandmothers around them (you know, people that you don't really want to touch and won't stop telling you what to do) just going on and on about how disappointed they are in you but refusing to even attempt to speak your language so you understand just enough to know you want to get out of the room as quickly as possible and if they suddenly died it would clearly be God's will.

[bakechochin]

The Book Ramblings of May

In place of book reviews, I will be writing these ‘book ramblings’. A lot of the texts I’ve been reading (or plan to read) in recent times are well-known classics, meaning I can’t really write book reviews as I’m used to. I’m reading books that either have already been read by everyone else (and so any attempt to give novel or insightful criticisms would be a tad pointless), or are so convoluted and odd that they defy being analysed as I would do a simpler text. These ramblings are pretty unorganised and hardly anything revolutionary, but I felt the need to write something review-related. I’ll upload a rambling compiling all my read books on a monthly basis.

[apologies for the delay with this one: I was binging Good Omens and contemplating spending 200 quid on a pair of shades to match Crowley’s sweet pair]

Falstaff - Robert Nye I’ll admit that I was ready to embrace this book as fucking great right from the word go, because it seemed so up my alley; Falstaff is a titan of the carnivalesque and one of my very favourite Shakespeare characters, and so from the very premise I figured that there was very little that could go wrong. The book takes the form of the memoirs of Sir John Falstolf (no, I don’t know about the ever-changing name spelling nonsense) told over the course of a hundred days, and becomes a journey through history told from the perspective of the fat drunk knight and interjected with lengthy insults to his cook or scribes and even lengthier songs of praise for his own cock or his innumerable sexual exploits. Everything about this is fucking great. In the course of the book you’re given incredibly evocative descriptions of carnivals or tavern debauchery, followed by hilarious anecdotes on fantastically crude subjects, and holding it all together is a narrative voice that can effectively handle both the grandiose reminiscing and the tales of shagging and farting. I also want to praise this book’s fantastic blending of the characters of Shakespeare and other popular fictions of the time with the characteristic Falstaff flare, including one fucking genius link between the character of Bardolph and the stories of the pig-faced woman Tannakin Skinker. Shakespeare’s characters probably are not that difficult to adapt, or at least not inasmuch as adapting the character traits that I perceive as responsible for making Shakespeare’s characters great - you’ll inevitably get some people arguing that Falstaff is Shakespeare’s greatest character because of his complexity, but for me the fact that he is a corpulent tanked-up knight bloated at the seams with sack and fabricated tales of grandeur is enough to make him a quality guy. The archetype is captured splendidly by Nye, but the book doesn’t half remind us of how fucking amazing Shakespearean dialogue is by comparison to Nye’s attempts at Falstaffian humour, and thereby highlights the difference between Shakespeare’s Falstaff and the basic character shape. The book delves into numerous specific events of I Henry IV (and a couple from 2 Henry IV), often quoting lines from Shakespeare’s play verbatim, much to the deficit of the rest of the text that has to string it all together with writing that obviously is not up to snuff with Shakespeare’s amazing writing. The dedication to the plays from which Falstaff was spawned seems at times odd, when a good few chapters are dedicated to extrapolating on one minor event in Part 1, which, to my understanding, was but one of the jests that Hal pulled on Falstaff, and but one of the instances that he was called out for his obvious bullshitting. If Falstaff was repeatedly made a fool of by Hal, he wouldn’t have directly addressed only one of said instances as if it was a big deal, but of course, it was a scene in the play and so it had to be adapted in this book. Whether this was down to Nye not having faith in his own ability to make up more pranks that Hal pulled on Falstaff, or simply because he knew that he had to write in this sequence because he needed a direct link to the play, is a question that I can’t really answer. But let’s talk about Falstaff’s bullshitting, and the complexities that arise from it. Falstaff’s whole shtick is that he is a mighty bullshitter, spinning yarns of heroic exploits and trying to talk his way out of trouble, and thus it stands to reason that his memoirs would reflect this, right? As I first went into the book, I was fully taken in by what I was reading, for although it was dumb, the story was centralised within a world of farce and Rabelaisian carnival, a world in which French armies can be defeated by drunken Englishmen brandishing hogsheads for weapons, men can eat enough food for seven men and still demand dessert, Irishmen will stab you up the arse from below while you sit on the bog, and every woman is inexplicably attracted to a fat drunken knight. It also mythologised Falstaff’s character, that he was conceived atop the knob of the Cerne Abbas giant and that his father died from laughing at nothing in particular. Is this not enough to make the story worthwhile? Would second-guessing Falstaff’s words at every turn, cross-referencing them with what we know of the truth from the Shakespeare plays, not only render the reading experience a pointless trudge, but demystify this world of carnivalesque absurdity? Falstaff’s overblown postulating on whether or not he is lying, or indeed his reasons for lying, are enough to satisfy me without contemplating the book from a meta perspective. There is also the character Scrope, who acts as one of Falstaff’s scribes and uses his position to call out Falstaff’s fabrications for us in a dramatic way, but a) there are discrepancies in his so-called truths and b) he’s a colossal dickhead, so regardless of Scrope’s presence in the story, we’re given the option to still side entirely with Falstaff and his comical version of reality. This is my perspective, but it is worth considering that I am a vacuous fool incapable of complex thought, so adopt my opinions with caution. I do, perhaps, have a few criticisms about Falstaff’s gratuitous descriptions of sexual escapades, not because I’m a prude who can’t stand the mention of the secrets of our own sinful bodies, nor even because it is unjustified in the narrative (because of course Falstaff is going to brag and give too much detail, if not for the sake of posterity than to make his servant scribes uneasy), but because I don’t feel that it fits the comedic tone of the text. Shagging is a staple of fabliaux and folksongs, but the comedy comes from who’s doing the shagging, or where they’re doing the shagging, or the extraneous circumstances surrounding the shagging. This book just describes shagging, which is funny when considering, as mentioned above, the fact that Falstaff within the story is including such titillating or sensational tidbits to vex his scribes (a strand which reaches its high point when Falstaff makes his amanuensis transcribe his words WHILE he is in the act of shagging), but taken as it is, it doesn’t seem in line with the rest of the book and its comedy. When this story has to plod on without its Falstaff-centric source material (or indeed, even from 2 Henry IV, in which Falstaff doesn’t really do a whole lot), it can get rather tedious as it becomes a mere listing of historical events and Falstaff’s minor parts in them, but at that point the book is rather winding down anyway, so perhaps I can’t complain too much. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: HELL YEAH, IF YOU’RE INTO SHAKESPEARE

The Hike - Drew Magary I picked this book up because I’d heard it compared to The Third Policeman in terms of it being a journey narrative, and I had a hankering for a book in which the story is not driven by the actions of the character, but rather the situation that they were thrown into, mainly because I’m interested in seeing how different authors go about doing this and not making the resulting narrative crap. Immediately upon going into this book, the acerbic narrative voice reminded me of John Dies at the End, and as the book continued and began to unveil other similarities, most egregiously the technique of using the bizarre weird reality-warping and monster-centric nonsense as a means of juxtaposing or disguising the book’s true content, that of the heinous DMC (that is, the deep meaningful conversation), I thought that I was in trouble. The reason why this is a book ramble, and not just a flat-out review, is that at this point I feel like I’m just rambling about the broad genre of contemporary American horror-centric weird fiction, and so to go through the book point-by-point may be a tad redundant when we already know exactly what to expect from the genre; a review would in all probability just devolve into quibbling about minor semantics. The story follows a man who, getting lost on a hike, stumbles into a world of nightmares and oddities, half of which were presumably inspired by the author’s obscure fears and the rest being absurd non-sequiturs to amp up the kookiness. It is nothing if not memorable, with its foul-mouthed crabs and murderous men wearing the faces of Rottweilers and whatnot. The book eventually develops to be smarter and more twisty-turny than such a randomly-selected clusterfuck of ideas might suggest, but these moments become transitory stops scattered amidst the rambling improvisational D&D campaign that is the main narrative. The story does have a habit of periodically bringing us to a formative experience in our protagonist’s life in the form of dream visions, with some interesting blurring between reality and fiction that doesn’t detract from the sheer fucking ludicrousness of the amount of shit that our protagonist has gone through, or at least the sensational self-reflective tone of these events’ retellings. This put me in mind of John Dies at the End, as did an ineffable sense of self-importance that the protagonist of this book seems to impart. I can’t properly word it, but there’s something to our protagonist’s narration, in that we see the world through his eyes but the retelling seems embellished somewhat to make him seem better off, and the fact that I noticed this at all speaks to me of shoddy characterisation. That’s not to say that the character is an unflappable badass the whole way through the story; it just seems like the character beats are cookie-cutter and that his moments of weakness or breakdown only occur because they have to, in order to make us feel sympathy for him. Both this book and John Dies at the End utilise new nomenclature on the fly for the horrors they find, but in all cases it just seems so pre-meditated, and the insistence on using these terms makes it seem like we ought to be on board with them as well, regardless of how stupid they are. Some of these terms are also tinged with an element of our narrator’s feelings of repulsion or standoffishness, in a manner similar to a downtrodden kid trying to stand up to a bully by referring to him with an insulting nickname. It’s all just rather tonally dissonant, the fact that we have to align with and appreciate our protagonist juxtaposed with the reality of our protagonist not really being that likeable. John Dies at the End (or at least its sequel) attempts to obfuscate the angst of its protagonist by admitting at the end to having a retrospective ghost writer, attributing the changes to the story and relatively inconsistent character fuckery to an unreliable narrator and details being altered in post, but this book lacks this safety net. What this book does have at the end is a bit of life-affirming reality-changing nonsense, and more importantly a fucking sweet twist at the end which, whilst not having much to do with the rest of the story (being dependent on memories and characters who didn’t have much to do with the overall narrative), leaves the story on a bittersweet note. In all my time spent reading classic literature, I’ve really missed experiencing twists that a) I didn’t already know about or wouldn’t have predicted, and b) actually have some fucking oomph. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: PROBABLY

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court - Mark Twain The question of authorial intent loomed over me as I begun reading this book. The introduction places the story firmly within the framework of Twain’s own righteous vengeance at the age he lived in, whereas I was under the impression that the book was naught but a dumb burlesque of middle English romances with some fun anachronisms thrown in for comedic effect. I thought that Twain’s ‘dream of being a knight errant in armour’ was funny as shit, but according to this introduction writer geezer Justin Kaplan (who apparently knows a better way of enjoying the book than myself), Twain’s dream ought to be interpreted as ‘a nightmare of being swaddled in iron, confined and helpless, just as Mark Twain was often to feel confined and helpless in his way of life’. As such, I sought advice from my friend, who told me to just go in with my unsophisticated cap on and I’ll be fine, and also took solace in Twain’s squib 1601, his exercise emulating my main man Rabelais in which famous Elizabethans hit the shit about shit and shagging, to adopt the mentality that Twain is just fucking about and that I don’t need to think too much about what I’m reading. Now I’ve sat through enough seminars of medieval literature to have heard every imaginable inane comment from every single vacuous shitwit grabbing at the lowest hanging fruit possible when it comes to pointing out the silliness of Arthurian romances; I’m a dab fucking hand, albeit unwillingly, at recognising all of this shit, and at suppressing my groans when slack-jawed fuckheads go over the same empty points about how middle English romances are ever so daft. “I mean, what’s up with all these knights running around attacking each other for no reason?!? That doesn’t make much sense!!” they all opine to each other, confident that they’re bringing something original and nuanced to the conversation, to jolly plaudits and insufferable guffaws. (No I’m not bitter about this, I have no idea what you’re talking about). Twain of course touches on all the usual points that you’d expect in a romance parody, but I needn’t have braced myself for an onslaught of unoriginality, as he does so with fantastic wit and evokes an actual comedic image rather than just commenting on the world’s lack of logic. He paints a delightful picture of naive and foolish knights howling with laughter at slapstick and ooo-ing and ah-ing at one another’s exaggerated tales, which is not only a great representation of Arthurian knights to explain their questionable behaviours, but justifies how they are so easily swayed and led by our protagonist Hank Morgan, the eponymous Yankee. I’m also a great fan as to how far they take the delusions of the Arthurian chaps to, believing with complete conviction that a swine pen is an ogre’s castle and that the pigs within are kidnapped noblewomen; there’s a lot of fun to be had with this, and as absurd as it seems, I’m glad that the explanation isn’t any more complex than it just being a result of everyone’s unyielding belief in everything. Our protagonist sets out to whip this century into something resembling nineteenth-century society, and putting aside the suspension of disbelief we must have in Hank’s apparent knowledge of every-fucking-thing imaginable required to accomplish this transformation (from building phone lines and electric fences to a ludicrously precise knowledge of the timing of eclipses), the story is a great romp of technology trumping magic and the grim realities of an unfair world, with some fantastic memorable scenes here and there. The plot somewhat meanders, the stories of Arthurian legend being rather directionless beyond the overarching call for adventure, and so we get a bit of that and we get a bit of blending in with peasant life, but overall the book is made up of a series of encounters and problems to overcome, which is fine to read for the most part (for some adventures are more fun than others). Though I want to pooh-pooh the idea that the story is a castigation or attack on the political structures and struggles of the time, and indeed can continue to pooh-pooh it so long as such content is if not subliminal than overshadowed by the story’s fun content, this unfortunately bubbles to the surface in an overt form when the book draws to a close, with a swift arrival of reality and sudden need for a bloody war. The mask of fun burlesque is stripped away to give us a galling look at a stubborn England, the denizens of which would rather die than change their faulty unfair ways. It’s not enough to tarnish the rest of the book, but it did leave a sour taste in my mouth, not because it’s an objectively bad thing but because scathing attacks of that calibre and of that level of overtness seemed to come rather out of left field. The transformation of the book from one thing to the next is dependent on a swift plot progression that occurs in a short period of time and is conveyed by a massive exposition dump which rushes through the last chapter of the Morte D’Arthur and plunges us into a fight between the Church and our protagonist, a fight that the story, apparently now being a treatise on the inability for people to change and our helplessness in altering the state of things, must regrettably end with our hero losing. But now I’m prattling on about an approach to the text that I was adamant I was not going to take. Don’t let it tarnish the rest of the book; that’s all still good shit. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: YEAH PROBABLY

Tales of the German Imagination (trans. by Peter Wortsman): - ‘The Singing Bone’, ‘Hansel and Gretel’, and ‘The Children of Hameln’ (the Brothers Grimm) - I struggle to place the Grimms fairy tales in terms of an analytical approach, and so it’ll suffice to say that these stories are exactly what you’d expect from the Grimms, in that they’re short and dark and make for easy reading - ‘Rune Mountain’ (Ludwig Tieck) - a proper romanticism story with a fantastic dream-like storytelling tone and incredibly evocative imagery throughout - ’St Cecelia or the Power of Music’ (Heinrich von Kleist) - a well-written actualisation of a cool suspenseful horror story concept with a few nice spooky bits, albeit with a rather slow middle and generally anticlimactic end - ‘Peter Schlemiel’ (Adelbert von Chamisso) - an amazing idea for a story that, while bogged down with unexplained magical objects straight out of Hoffmann’s fairy tales popping up every now and then to take the story in weird directions, and based on a social ostracisation that really does not seem like as big a deal as the story makes it out to be, is still very enjoyable - ’The Marble Statue’ (Josef von Eichendorff) - another story that brings to mind Hoffmann’s fairy tales (which I should perhaps instead just consider the archetype for German romanticism?), this time in terms of its romantic setting and soppy protagonist, and indeed its dumb allegorical dream-quest nonsense ending - ‘My Gmunden’ (Peter Altenberg) - so short that I didn’t really know what I was meant to be laughing at - ‘The Magic Egg’ and ‘A New Kind of Plaything’ (Mynona) - absolutely amazing little snippets of madness and laughter at oddity, the first story being an absurdist exercise in stupidity with a cast-aside veneer of meaning to the story, and the second being a jolly examination of a ludicrous idea - ’The Seamstress’ (Rainer Maria Rilke) - a compelling and vaguely unsettling story with fantastic character descriptions of the titular seamstress and an ending that casts our narrator adrift - ‘The Island of Eternal Life’ (Georg Kaiser) - a short and enjoyable story of rapid cartoon-like escalation, albeit with an ending more befitting a cynical satire on humanity - ‘In the Penal Colony’ (Franz Kafka) - a story I’ve read before and my favourite of Kafka’s writings; it’s dark and compelling (if a bit long-winded at point when describing the intricacies of the machine), and has a fantastic culmination (specifically the fate of the Officer) with elements of regret and serious fucking brutality - ‘The Blackbird’ (Robert Musil) - possesses a narrative voice that, while philosophical and high-minded, was not enough to embellish the story’s rather boring content (or at least seemed a tad misused when utilised to describe warfare) - ‘The Lunatic’ (Georg Heym) - over-the-top and gruesome and overall fucking hilarious; godspeed to ridiculously hyperbolic depictions of madmen in literature - ‘A Conversation Concerning Legs’ (Alfred Lichtenstein) - a conversation on one absurd subject, with dialogue that possesses all the necessary elements to make the humour work; it’s matter-of-fact and occasionally stupidly verbose to juxtapose the oddity of the subject matter, there’s rapid escalation from one train of thought to the next, and the conversation ends as abruptly and pointlessly as it had begun - ‘The Onion’ (Kurt Schwitters) - one of the first surrealist stories that I’ve read that has properly made me consider the ineffable and indescribable genius of the minds that concocted it, as well as having a pretty fucking sweet premise even before the text starts getting properly surreal and fragmented - ‘A Raw Recruit’ (Klabund) - a very funny story with a satirical premise I’m well used to - ‘The Time Saver’ (Ignaz Wrobel) - a story with an interesting abstract premise that is continuously built on in a manner that put me in mind of Krzhizhanovsky, but with an ending that didn’t seem very connected to the plot that preceded it (though perhaps that was somewhat the point) - ‘The Tattooed Portrait’ (Egon Erwin Kisch) - perhaps the funniest story in the collection, possessing the satire of people in power and absurd turns of fate to knock esteemed people down a peg as to be found in Gogol or my favourite Leskov short stories - ‘The Experiment or the Victory of the Children’ (Unica Zurn) - a story that takes the same general steps as Mynona’s ‘A New Kind of Plaything’, but seems less tongue-in-cheek and satirical and more like it’s trying to make some sort of grand statement - ’The Secrets of the Princess of Kagran’ (Ingeborg Bachmann) - purportedly a modern day fairy tale (albeit set in a mythologised past full of names for places and people I’m unfamiliar with), with the influence of modernism presumably being evident by the nonsense anticlimactic ending WOULD I RECOMMEND?: HELL YEAH