#like damn dude go ahead it's not going to do anything because again im doing this correctly its a strange concept i know

[elisedonut]

got yelled at by a customer today because i *checks notes* followed the rules??

[whatifiwasjusthonest]

So many people that I’d love to cut off.

But one in particular is like a second full time fucking job.

That I don’t even get paid for..

Can’t be alone—they’ll whine about wanting to kill themselves

Can’t sleep between 12-4 am—they’ll whine that I’m ignoring them or sleeping too much.

Can’t not text them throughout work—They’ll whine I don’t really care about them

Can’t fucking cut them off already—they’ll turn everything I’ve ever spilled about myself in such a way that makes me the bitch

Can’t take a goddamn nap between 2-5 pm— if I’m not readily available then I’m clearly out doing something obscene

Hell I can’t even spend time up at work after my girlfriend is off because I have to satiate the child or risk them having hissy fit that no one loves them, I’ve got it sooooo good and I’m selfish for not wanting to call when I’m clearly not busy.

And I don’t get why it has to be me. It’s a constant back and forth that they trust me and then don’t. That I’m making up everything and I’m not really looking out for them.

They have other friends; but it has to be me.

Even when they start seeing someone, it’s always gotta be me.

Upset with something about their mom? Gotta complain to me about it.

Bored at work with nothing to do until 5am? Gotta complain to me about it.

Drunk off their fucking ass and doesn’t have anything better to do? Gotta call me about it.

Had a hookup with someone they think is “the one”? Gotta gloat to me about it. Sometimes while they’re still laying next to the hookup.

Having non verbal hours? Gotta play charades to figure out what the hell it is they want.

Can’t mention having any shoulder or back aches because “why aren’t you wearing your brace” or “well why did you do physical labor” or “I’m gonna tell your girlfriend you don’t wear your brace” or some other petty bullshit they think is going to upset my girlfriend..

They trust me. They trust me. They trust me. But any time I set a rule or boundary with them suddenly it’s “you’re a piece of shit I don’t trust you. Fuck you, you’re a horrible person who doesn’t care about everyone but themselves. You’ll never change. I hate you. You’re an attention whore. You deserve the shit that’s happened to you.”

The last huge argument was shortly after my girlfriend encouraged me to let them say their piece and make amends since the friend had said they were having some self reflection and wanted to apologize.

I was a fucking fool to think they would say what they had to say and let sleeping dogs just lie.

A message from them the last time we had a big argument word for word (censored full name) from this past July:

“im done being continually contorted to your fucking plots for your damn benefit. i trued helping you. i did. but it seems to me alll you wanna do is use my mind and leech off of my attention like a damn parasite. i hate you. fuck you [legal deadname name in all caps]. lying bitch. go ahead and sleep with more of your friends while you’re at it, maybe tack up some statutory charges. im done trying to reason with you. i’ve tried time and time again to come around but you’ve never given me a reason to. i hate you.”

For some clarification I was habitually sleeping with older people when I was still 17 because I was at an all time low with my depression.

And every few arguments they come back acting all mopey and lonely and while I care and want them to have a good life I’m finding it harder and harder to want to willingly interact with them.

I just don’t have a fucking out. I just need a clean cut way out of this manipulative pile of horseshit.

I really don’t know how much longer I can keep up with this stupid “let’s pretend I can tolerate you still” game. And I really don’t want to hit my limit and explode on the dude.

They’re cool and chill when they’re kept fat and happy, any other time is like running through a field of landmines.

[futurewgarbage]

WHY IS YJH SUCH A WOOBY FUCKIJG BABY!!!!!!!!! WHO ALLOWED THIS??????????

Like he's just. He's so. Jcksjxkkaxpkskxksjd im just trying to think from his pov for a quick sec.

(spoilers up to ch 343 i think? +ch 350)

Like. Kdj comes back after 3 years, whatever. He escapes confinement. They go do main scenario #46, Proof of the Stars. The one he. Mentioned. The very first time he met yjh. You know when 5 secs into meeting him he was all like "Hey you can't do that scenario alone! You've been betrayed before, you know you can't do it alone! I'll do it with you! Let me come along so you can trust me and so we can do the trust scenario together!!!". Right?. Like an asshole.

And then that kdj asshole is like dude nooooo donnn'tttt let's do it togetheeerrrr i want to protect youuuu and somehow-i-borrowed-ur-power-from-the-future-and-i've-seen-all-ur-suffering but the you standing right in front of me is still betterrrr!!!! haha

And then he keeps dying and dying. And disappearing and going missing. But like they finally go do it. They go do the trust scenario. But like. At this point for yjh there's something more important than finishing the scenario on good terms for the first time in his fucking life. Because. That kdj asshole keeps fucking dying. And disappearing. I might have mentioned this before. And the problem is that he's the only one who can save this world ykno, the only thing keeping everyone alive and fighting and together better than ever in yjh's 3 lifetimes. But he keeps fucking off and risking himself and everything he has built. So then obviously yjh has his priorities straight (and his sin eater attitude on) and is like fuck the 46th scenario, i have to secure everyone's future. I will sacrifice myself, get the "traitor" attribute, but i will get the rights over kdj's life and death and i will be able to keep him here and safe and active and make him save the world and everyone we care about.

And then yjh is like okay fine let's keep going together (🥺😭), totally not crying or anything, and they move on to the context of constellations. Where they just casually pull a funny haha prank together on the woman that destroyed yjh's life (<3) but then. She pulls a funny little prank on kdj too cuz she's a sore fucking loser bitch. And instead of him having a normal reaction for once in his useless life he's like "sayonara you weeaboo shits" and goes to fuck off to hell again, by himself, the bitchass motherfucker. After they just!!!!!!! Argued!!!!!!!! About him fucking off to hell!!!!!!!!!! After yjh was willing to sacrifice the heard earned goodwill of his companions in order to stop kdj from fucking off to hell!!!!!!!

So OBVIOUSLY yjh says fuck that and comes along for the ride. Like. We literally JUST talked about this you absolute piece of shit. What did i JUST fucking say. God DAMN it. And so now they're both chilling in hell.

Then kdj starts going on and on and on abt how fucking cool yjh is, how big his dick is, how his life is so inspiring that it can even move the ancient gods into action to fight an impossible war to save ysa. Then they split again. Kdj goes straight to fighting the previously mentioned impossible war, while yjh goes to earth so meet save the parents mom. And he's like fuck shit piss kdj's mom is fucking dying what do i fucking do. (He's gonna pull some star fluid straight out of his fucking ass, that's what he's gonna do, but dw abt it)

But then they do reunite on the impossible war battlefield. And by that i mean that yjh goes ahead and makes the most dramatic and 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭 inducing entrace in the history of the star stream, to the point where it was quoted in their nomination for best chemistry awards. Ykno just casually. And they're fighting for their life but he's STILL worried about kdj and his mom. He is SO careful about how to break the news to him. And he's the reason why she's saved by the end of it.

And i just. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭?????????

[mrstsung]

Mortal liu kang over dumb fire god liu kang

Vent ahead. Sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cuz dumbass fire god liu kang did fucking nothing. Nothing worth a damn. Didn't change anything. All mk12/mk1 proved is they can't write god characters and they make them fucking useless. What actual divine authority do they really have?! Eldergods mean nothing. These fucking titans are the stupidest useless plotpoint. Nothing actually changes or gets done. Everyone still suffers,no matter what they fucking change?! So.....yeah....what fucking new era is called a new era,if nothing actually happens? Some characters are ruined because the dynamics are changed in a way where it's not actually the character. It's someones oc fanfic. Legitimately NOTHING CHANGES. It's legitimately mk11 2 electric boogaloo. And using shang tsung again as the main baddie? Sus as fuck. You got nothing new? You gotta use my boy as a plot point again because you ran out of tagawa money? You couldn't get him again because your script sucks! Im not being nice,im being raw and the truth is and sometimes it hurts,you could have fucking stopped nrs and made your dumb superhero injustice game like all you stupid braindead fans wanted. But noooooo! You had to continue a storyline that's been fucking dead and is done. Mk11 wrapped it up nice. Both guys won anyways. It's already hinted at. Why go any more? It's fucking done. Shang won,liu won. End of story. Bye bye. Like ffs,mk spinoff game would have sufficed. Most fans wanted a mk shaolin monks remastered. Most fans didn't want a continuation. They just were doing fun fan theories as they always do that doesn't mean we want a new fucking game or continuation. Speaking of which. What did you actually continue? There's nothing to continue. New world? Dont fucking feel like it. If it was. You wouldn't be using the same fucking bad guy. Nor same roster. Nor would you be fucking over integral parts. You'd be actually writing something new. In a new world. That isn't basically high def of the same fucking world. Rebranding your shit isn't making it new or better! It's all to put money in your ips so you can renew shit and fuck over your fanbase. Im sorry but i hope nrs gets fucked over and boon gets a thousand hammer death. For real.

Thanks for nothing boon. The game is garbage worthless,like your job.

Mk12/mk1 is bullshit because there actually is integral lore to mortal kombats world and character archs and they ruined the characters and story by trying to be "look at me,im not like other games guys!" Pick me ass shit.

But back to liu

Liu kang,when mortal. Got more shit done. Abit it was very plot convenient for him to win. Hardly any real struggles after the first fucking arch of his journey. Aka the real mk1. The last time i saw any struggle was in the mk 1995 movie. And even then that was still Hollywood,convenient win.

Like i just want a story where liu kang stays fucking mortal. And liu actually struggles and has realistic ups and downs throughout his life and heroes journey?

Still got more done. And he had fucking actual help. And friends.... as a god he made the same mistakes as raiden yet gets none of the flack. Fuck outta here. Nah liu kang as a god sucks and all who like that version of him can fuck right off

Also that fusion bullshit that happened in mk11 is ridiculous. And a cop out. Everything in the story thus far....is a fucking cop out.

It's lazy LAZY LAZY WRITING

I get it,they don't want the same dudes on the roster. But....guess what? You do it anyways nrs?! Is wb fucking you over in the ass? Just blink twice if they are. Like that's the only reason nrs keeps making mistakes,problems,and stupid ass decisions.

Anyways. Mortal liu kang any damn day.

No questions.

Anyone who picks god liu kang over sweet boy mortal liu kang is a fucking fool and honestly doesn't really know liu kang.

Fuck fire god liu kang,Oops i ment boons comicbook insert.

Mortal,shaolin monk liu kang ftfw.

All day any day.

Like I'm just sad they couldn't have just let....ya know....his shaolin bromie kung lao take over? And ya know LET FUJIN DO HIS JOB!? and ya know....let liu kang fucking retire from the narrative?

Without god powers,without killing him off,without making him evil from plot device,without making him undead,like ffs man this man has been thru every trope except having a fucking sexy honey boo on his hip! Ffs man let this guy have happiness?

Ya think the narrative would be kinder to him considering how much bootlicking they do to him.

But nope....they want their cake and eat it too. Fuck nrs.

I'm sorry liu kang,im so sorry they made you a joke. (And to all the other characters that i know n love and grew up with so much)

People think that shit is funny,or nothing to sneeze at. Well how would you feel if something that bringed you joy growing up was being fucked over by corporate greed? And fans just eat it up and consume mindlessly without actually thinking about it? Like they buy cuz of brand and "it looks cool" .

Ugh im just sick of it man.

[beelzeballing]

fuck dude. i guess its time for an intro post. but only because i feel bad for all my mooties who know nothing about me. strap in ig.

hello! i generally go by moogs on here, my moots can call me by my actual name tho <3 im not putting it here, iykyk. i'm 22 years old. i'm a transmasc nonbinary guy and primarily use he/him prns, but i also have a variety of neos in the back (most notably dia/diam/dias). i speak english, german and a teeny bit of french. quite frankly, i'm still a bit bad at using tumblr. i made an account like 7 years ago but ive only somewhat gotten my head around it recently. currently i do a shitload of our flag means death posting. i also love tma but its a bit on the backburner rn.

I block anyone who follows me with a blank profile. There are too many damn bots on this webbed site, sorry.

i have way too many side blogs because when i get into the MOOD of talking about one specific thing i get into the MOOD. this however also means that these regularly get abandoned for a couple of weeks or months until i get into the MOOD again. but there's also tons of media i might post about that i DONT have sideblogs for. ive tried listing them but... it ended up being a mess so ig you'll have to let me surprise you. sorry.

side blog list for your convenience:

@veedsynth: vocal synth blog. has been a special interest for so long that im almost normal about it at this point.

@paradisaeaaa: genshin blog. yes im one of those im so sorry. mostly hkv currently

@yaoi-vevo: i dont. have to explain this, do i? currently mostly slow damage and dramatical murder

@gnosiaz: gnosia blog. i love gnosia. sometimes i talk about it.

tag explanations:

#moogsin' : original post tag

#moogsles : art tag

#for later : ...for later

#mogcees : oc tag

#moogiggle : he he funni

#moogsynthing : general vsynth tag so i dont always have to tag vsynth and vocal synth and vocaloid and utau and synthv and synth v and synthesizer v and cevio and cevio ai and neutrino and

[uh... to be continued ig these are my only ones so far]

if you have any questions or want to talk or anything like that, please go ahead! i literally only have one friend on here whom i interact with on the dash so like. it gets lonely 😭

last but not least, since apparently i HAVE to add this: if you opened this post hoping to find some sort of "proship dni" or "antis dni" statement because you just HAD to know whether i was A Bad or A Good before interacting with- or following me: just dont. stay far away from me.

[winderlylandchime]

I’m just gonna go ahead and say sorry in advance the man lost his mind with the next ep but 3x04 1/2 ‘He would make great marketing for durex. Remember their covid ads? Funny as shit. Why is she here? Why can’t she take the kid with her to the hospital? I thought i gave Brian permission to hit this fucking kid? Yeah! Eat the chips you little bitch.‘ we got to Mel and Linds picking donors ‘FRESH SPERM?! LINDSAY HE IS 19- What are the-THEY CANT GO TO A SPERM BANK? THEYRE GONNA PICK BETWEEN THEIR FRIENDS?! Girl, what makes you think any of them want a kid at all or better yet with you? There is no way Brian would let that kid get into the ‘vette. JUSTIN! WHY ARE THEY CASUALLY SAYING HEY TO EACH OTHER? oh Justin hates this kid (Mel and Linds pick Mikey) MICHAEL?! THEY ARE PICKING MICHAEL?! MICHAEL?! MIKE? MIKEY?! Because he invited a kid to a comic book store? THAT IS LITERALLY HIS JOB! Thank god the diner doesn’t have more male waiters because she would think someone wants a kid just cause they told her the specials’ ‘WHAT IS WITH THEM MOVING IN SO FAST? I THOUGHT THAT WAS A YOU PEOPLE THING *waves at me*’. ‘Have you noticed that whenever Lindsay and Melly want something from someone they make them a meal? (mikey and Ben are taking a shower and he actually fake gagged) The only shower scenes I like are Brian and Justin’ ‘he’s going through Brian’s stuf- he has a lot of dildos, why am i acting surprised..HE STOLE HIS BRACELET! How dare you, you little shit! BRIAN HE HAS YOUR BRACELET! HE DOES NOT OWE ANY OF YOU ANYTHING ESPECIALLY NOT MONEY! I know I said hit him but this *points to the toilet scene* is WAY fucking better! Do Ethan next!’ He is once again using Shazam to make his playlist even better. ‘Usually when people start doing drugs, they become fun before they ruin their lives, this dude is just hitting the gym? Boring. Oh he’s angry and jealous of Michael isn’t he? Well that’s not healthy’ he is once again using Shazam, this is getting ridiculous. ‘OKAY BRIAN!! Oh damn, I don’t remember him being all 6 packy before. Why is a cop there?’ ‘Why is he surprised that he wont have full rights? Dude, you’re a DONOR! But don’t worry they never hold their word, they force the donors to step up one way or the other. Make sure you have life insurance. THATS WHY THERES SPERM BANKS MELANIE!’ And thee scene is coming up (my cousin thankfully reminded me to record him here bc she knew he’d lose his mind and thank fuck she did. Usually i record him for big moments but i almost forgot here) ‘HE ACCUSED HIM OF WHAT NOW?! *pauses tv* OH FUCK HIM AND FUCK WHOEVER MADE HIM! That is such a horrible and serious accusation to make cause some people, HA, some people..good one (his name), GIRLS! WOMEN! aren’t believed! And boys! Oh don’t even get me started and i know it’s ironic because im yelling at a boy BUT DIFFERENT! WE DONT EVEN GET TO COME FORWARD CAUSE WE SHOULD BE HAPPY WE GOT LAID! And if it was done by a man? Well then we are forced to be quiet because we get mocked since apparently gay is worse than rape. But Brian is gay, so of course he did that and nobody would think otherwise. Because gay means predator in their peanut shaped brain! Meanwhile PRIESTS exist! Or those weird family friends that you have to change outfits for when they come over but nobody calls that out. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY? You know what? FUCK EVERYTHING AND ESPECIALLY FUCK THAT KID! His family better know better, i have no faith in them but they owe him that! Nobody will believe this, he literally hates kids!‘ He then got up and went outside to smoke. I forgot that when the whole Florida gay ban bullshit happened, this man FLEW to florida to protest (we are nowhere near florida) so I should’ve seen this coming tbh. And when he came back inside he just went ‘I do wish they showed him being interrogated because I know for a fact my man was giving sarcasm and anger and funny insults!’ ‘Well look at that, it’s almost as if you shouldn’t move in together after like a week!’

Melanie and Lindsay’s insistence on using known sperm over donor sperm baffles me and must be because for TV reasons because it’s so bananas. LOLing at them making someone a meal… that is so true!

Ben not becoming more interesting with a drug problem IS A MOOD. And true.

His reaction to this storyline is everything. Factually, false accusations are incredibly rare and yes, it’s a double-whammy for boys. The other part of this storyline I hate? Is that Claire is right to believe her kid. So rarely do parents believe their kids and go to the police, when they should. I hate hate hate this storyline with a passion. I get why it happens (Justin still believing in Brian and doing whatever needs to be done to clear his name) but FFS CowLip why why why do you have to create a narrative around a false accusation?

YOUR BROTHER FLEW TO FL TO PROTEST? He gets all the fist-ally’s in the world! I love him.

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Once Upon a Witchlight: Episode 46 (SPOILERS AHEAD)

This episode was SO DAMN ROUGH, BE WARNED GUYS!! LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED FROM IT FR FR

I'M NEVER GOING TO EMOTIONALLY RECOVER

OH NO, TECHNICAL ISSUES WITH THE BEAN FOOTAGE

Haha Andy and Gary Goodberry! Yes!!

ANDY GOT ROASTED BY GARY

Gary has had four wives confirmed /j

Andy is so gender, like bro give me some fr fr

Hootsie plush is so cute

Andy get off ya phone, Nikkie is DMing /j

Blue roses? Like the ones in Twig’s eyes?

OH FUCK, THERES A JABBERWOCK STATUE

Blue and red roses mixing together? I wonder what that's for

Jabberwocky vs Jabberwock debate, personally I don't care which they say cause it's literally a one letter difference.

These dudes can do either so much in one in-game day or absolutely nothing in one in-game day, no in-between lmao.

“Torbek feels bad about eating all those cookies now” Bro don’t feel bad, she practically force-fed ya like five of ‘em

I love Nikkie’s cool ass leather jacket this episode, girlboss fr fr

Torbek has IBS, that's totally something he'd have with how much of a garbage disposal he is, bro eats rubber hoses, feathers, dirt, literal trash water, basically anything he can get ahold of and expects nothing bad to happen

GRICKO STOP, IF TORBEK PUKES I'M GONNA PUKE FR FR (I HATE PUKING SOUNDS)

Frosty totally is a weird trick or treater, bro gets excited over black licorice and math

Old man frosty needs his glasses to read, such an old man

“This must be what Gricko feels like all the time” BUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!!!!

Torbek can't read (T-T) I would definitely read to him :(

I bet money that the Vorpal sword is the one Skabatha wrote about in the wanted poster for that “Billy of the feywild” guy

WE NEED A HERSHEY PARK ONESHOT FR FR

Gideon being coaxed to try and rip the sword from the stone is so funny, i'm surprised they didn't call him a bitch lmao

Vandalizing private property is more important to Kremy then the multiple times they've ALL done indecent exposure

Father divorce arc 2: electric boogaloo /j

Torbek drinks water like a dog, bro just sticks his whole face in it

YOOOOOOOO NAT 20 FOR PULLING THE SWORD OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN YEEEEEES

My fire dad is so cool!!

“Im not afraid of this” Famous last words from Gricko considering what i’ve heard happens at the end of the episode

Torbek back at it again with the “alleged” public masturbation charges

Polycule watches Gideon masturbate and have done it before /j these dudes are so dumb, but I love em

My S/I would be grossed out at the idea though

Take “getting head” to a whole new level /j

Andy’s hair is so gender, I wish I had hair half as good as his fr fr

When they all started singing kiss from a rose I legitimately choked on my pomegranate seeds because it caught me so off guard

Gideon ranting about final fantasy is so funny because i can see my S/I being like “What the fuck are you talking about, Gid?”

ANOTHER NAT 20, GIDEON IS REALLY PUTTING THE FIRE IN FIRE GENASI THESE PAST FEW EPISODES

OH GOD, THE FOUNTAIN IS CUMMING ITSELF AFTER LOSING ITS HEAD

PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON GIDEON

“Help me guhlump” Suggestive Kremy + Gideon moment

ANOTHER NAT 20??????? OMFG

Richie doing the “Okay, Okay” to Nikkie is SO DAMN FUNNY, TWINS FR FR

Gricko chasing Torbek around with the Jabberwock head is so family coded

TRY PAINTING THE ROSE ON THE SWORD PURPLE FOR GODS SAKE

I love it when Torbek gets all smart and talks with big words

B&E is a family activity, They all take my S/I for their first crime and end up at an ice cream parlor

Gricko is a good dad, so supportive of Hootsie and all her stuff

Kingdom hearts reference yessss

Torbek once again references Agdon Longscarf again with the whole “Take it from Torbek, you can't get red out of blue” thing

Ooooo, who's the little girl???

SHE'S PLAYING WITH KNIGHTS MADE OF METAL, GLASS, WOOD, CLAY AND BONE!!! THAT'S THEIR THINGS FROM THE BEAN FOOTAGE!!!! ALSO SHE'S HAVING THEM FIGHT A STUFFED JABBERWOCK?? FORESHADOWING???

Ah yes Kremy, insult the mysterious child to her face

SHE'S SO CUTE, I LOVE MORGANA (Persona 5 reference???)

She’s sus tho, why is she in the desert??

Gricko… Hootsie would absolutely destroy the toys, don't let her play w them

Gideon being very brutal to the poor girl >:(

Her grandmother doesn't want her to see the prince anymore??? VERY SUS

Torbek making friends is nice :)

OH MY GOD SHE KILLED GIDEON, HE'S A MARIONETTE TOO

SHE TURNED TORBEK INTO WOODY, WE GOT TWO SOUTHERN MEN NOW

Keep the snake in your pants Torbek, please

OH GOD SHE’S TURNING EVERYONE INTO DIFFERENT THINGS

CHUCKLES IS BACK, YAAAAAAAAA YYY!!!!

Torbek stepped on his “snake” lmao

FROSTY’S A MIME YESS, TWO CLOWNS!! NOW ALL WE NEED IS KREMY TO BE SOMETHING AND THE WHOLE FAM WILL BE TRANSFORMED

Also my S/I would be freaking TF out about everyone being turned into weird things, like three seconds away from a mental breakdown freaked out

Derek is too good at being a mime, bro really has 100+ different skills

KREMY AND GRICKO, STOP BEING MEAN TO THE BABY GIRL

MACHO MAN GIDEON SAVAGE!!

TRANSFORM MY ALLIGATOR DAD MORGANA, MAKE HIM SUFFER

MR. POTATO HEAD KREMY WITH A BROOKLYN ACCENT LMAO

OH FUCK, SHE KILLED CHUCKLES

Kremy shitting out a new mustache and new top hat made me literally choke

PRINCESS GOBLINETTE!!!!

She's changing mime frost, i really liked that one 

Torbek lost his damn snake omfg

If I was also changed, I’d want to be a squishmallow fr fr. I love those fuckin things

FROST IS A KEN DOLL, OMFG SHE'S HAD KENOUGH

YAY BRET’S BACK!!!!

“Let's find out, can you open your ass?” HHSHSHSHSAHAHAHAA YESSS

Bret’s house and Torbek’s “snake” is in Kremy’s house lmao

“It's hiiiiiiiiiiigh time we come up with a plan” OVERWATCH REFERENCE FROM TORBEK??

I love goblinette so much, mikey does such a funny girl voice

Twig has her eyes back!

“Whattya think fellas, we whack grandma?” MOBSTER POTATO KREMY LMAOOOOO

Has Twig always been a puppet??? Or is Morgana just being a lil silly and thinking OUR Twig is HER Twig cause she’s a BROWNIE!!

Gideon and Torbek immediately trying to summon Bullyjugs is so damn funny, fuckin pervs! /j

Torbek being shoulder deep in Kremy’s ass lmao “There ain't no eyeballs in this ass!”

Chaotic polycule fr fr, I love these goofy bitches

IS MORGANA TASHA? NIKKIE SAID “You cannot see that boy anymore Ta- I mean Morgana, you cannot see him!” AND SHE HAS SISTERS LIKE THE FOUR HAGS AND IS THE BABY!!

I really like cowboy Torbek, He is very funny and the accent is really nice

TWIG IS A PERSON, NOBODY OWNS HER >:(

YAY, TWIG IS COMING WITH DA PARTY!

“Make like a tree and get da fuck out of here” HA

OH FUCK, WE’RE IN AN HOURGLASS AND NIKKIE IS USING HER BAVLORNA VOICE (I don’t think its Bavlorna though) WE’RE GONNA GET CRUSHED BY SAND

OH FUCK, THE JABBERWOCK

The Jabberwock figure looks so cool!!!! Whoever painted it did a really good job

NATURAL 20 FOR INITIATIVE FROM GIDEON!! SOMEBODY CHECK HIS DICE FR FR /J

“I'm last with a 13” Nah Andy, I rolled a damn 12 with a +0 so I’M last (I like to roll for shits n giggles uwu)

NAT 20 FOR KREMY ON A DEX SAVE AGAINST THE JABBERWOCK (I rolled a 16)

HOOTSIE GOT A NAT 20 TOO!!!!

38 POINTS OF DAMAGE TO ANYONE WHO GOT A 17 OR LESS??? BRO I’D ALREADY BE DEAD (My constitution is 17 with a modifier of +3, idk if I’d actually be dead but it would be hella funny to imagine I take one attack and boom I’m dead)

I think at max, I’d have 43 health so while alive I’d be VERY HURT (5 health remaining)

FROST AND I ARE ALREADY DEAD AND GRICKO IS CLOSE BEHIND, BRO WE’RE FUCKED

Why the hell does it want the chess pieces????

Good idea using cure wounds on Frost, he’s waaay too OP to let die.

Frost using magic circle on Fey creatures just gives me a funny/sad idea of since satyrs are technically fey creatures, my S/I being left for dead outside the circle with the Jabberwock by accident.

DAD N0000000, GIDEON DIED!!!

TWO AUTO DEATH FAILS FOR GID NOOOOOOO

*Ominous jazz starts playing* I love my alligator dad

“Come get me ya big bitch” Kremy protecting his family!!!

JDDJSJJSDDJ (T-T) TORBEK TRYING TO REASON WITH IT MAKES ME SO SAAAAAD, PROTECT THAT MAN AT ALL COST FR FR

GIDEON FUCKIN DIED

KREMY NOOOOOO, BOTH MY DADS AND I ARE DEAD

GRICKO IS TRYING TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER AND TELLING HER TO RUN AHAHAAAAAAAA (T-T)

FROST TRYING TO STOP IT AND HE'S CRYING, THE MAN WHO NEVER SHOWS EMOTION IS CRYING

BEATING TORBEK WITH KREMY’S DEAD BODY, WHY NIKKIE WHY???

KREMY FUCKIN DIED, IM SO SAD

TORBEK IS TRYING TO GET GOREBEK OUT TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY, HAHASASHFKSHFN (T-T)

WE’RE ALL SO FUCKED MAN, SO DAMN FUCKED

TORBEK IS DEAD, NOOOOOOO MY GIRLFAILURE BESTIE!!!!

“Torbek burbled in his pants” “I heard they do that” ANDY, GIDEON STOP TALKIN BOUT DEAD PEOPLE SHITTING THEMSELVES

DON’T YOU DARE KILL HOOTSIE NIKKIE, I SWEAR TO THE GODS

GRICKO GOT A NAT 20 BUT NIKKIE DREADED IT

HOOTSIE GOT A NAT 1 AND GOT FUCKIN KILLED, MY HEART NOOOOOO

WE’RE ALL SO DEAD

THE JABBERWOCK KILLED ALL OF US AND TOOK OUR COMMUNICATORS, WHAT A DICK

Nikkie is gonna rip Mace’s iPad in half haha /j

[ithisatanytime]

Trey Skies - S O A R // B Y E 楽しむ (prod. doujinshi) [Yu Yu Hakusho AMV]

“ So, if the Edomites replaced the Jews, then why did they sack and rape their fellow Edomites? “

this is the second time i saw this exact post in two days, im pretty sure i wrote about this exact thing either yesterday or the day before. its such a fucking nonpoint, have you seen anyone make fun of americans calling them “mutts” or le fifty six percent face or anything like that because of our significan hispanic and african population? well they do, but with that in mind, would it be fucking so impossible for a latin or african nation to sack and rape america? do black people ever rape other black people? its such a retarded nonpoint, and again i love to see it.

 link me one other person telling the WHOLE truth as i am and i will quit this shit TODAY, im tired of it any damn way someone else do it. go ahead inbox me a link to one dude telling it straight and ill fucking quit. even nick fuentes waffles like the little bitch he factually is when asked “yes or no, was hitler a good guy” “well i dont know, it was a world war maybe im nuetral”  he was the best man in history next to christ jesus and hes at his side in heaven right now! put me on oprah and ill say the same goddamn thing.

[sanguineterrain]

Adore You - s.h | e.m.

Summary: When you and Eddie learn that Steve has never celebrated his birthday—and had no intention of letting you know he even had a birthday—you two make it your mission to give him the best birthday ever. Secret parties, however, aren’t always easy to keep secret.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader x Eddie Munson

Word count: 5k

Warnings: mild angst, misunderstandings, Steve's crappy parents, birthday fluff, happy ending!!

dividers by s-tarksintern

Follow @sanguine-stranger for all my Stranger Things fics updates!

"Yo, Buckley!" 

The door jingled, alerting your entrance. Eddie held up a pair of customized Converse by the laces. Robin's eyes lit up. 

"Holy shit!" she squealed, walking around the counter. "You’re a dream, Munson.” 

"Flatterer," Eddie grinned, tossing her the shoes. "No charge."

She inspected the designs, all carefully hand-painted by Eddie. "Dude, you're awesome. Y/N, tell your boyfriend he's awesome."

"I remind him of that fact everyday," you grinned, pecking Eddie's jaw. "He knows."

"I know," Eddie smirked. 

"Well, unfortunately, your other boyfriend sucks," she informed you. "He's been moping all week. And he left me to stack the new releases by myself!" 

You frowned. "That doesn't sound like him. Where is he?" 

Robin rolled her eyes. "I made him go pick up the tapes Keith ordered. Hopefully he eats something—that’s probably why he’s so cranky.”

"Aw, damn. We were gonna get his measurements to start his jean jacket," said Eddie. ”Don’t tell ‘im, though. It’s a secret.”

"Eds wanted to match," you explained. "Because he's a dork."

"You said it was a good idea, baby," he pouted. 

"Both things can be true. It's very cute, honey," you assured. "He'll love it."

"Custom jacket is a great gift," Robin agreed, already lacing up her new shoes. "That's probably the one thing Steve's never gotten for his birthday."

You and Eddie both went still.

"Birthday?" he echoed. 

"Yeah, it's next Sunday, remember? I made him look up his astrology chart and y'know what? A lot of it makes sense." She twirled her finger over her temple in a crazy sign. "Good luck."

"Wait, back up." You held up a hand. "Steve's birthday is next week?"

"Uh, yeah? Don't you know his birthday?" 

"He never said anything." Eddie's face scrunched. "What the hell?" 

"How do you know it, Robs?" you asked. 

"I learned it by accident when Steve filled out his job application. You really didn't know? You guys have been dating for a while."

"We figured it had passed." You frowned. "He was just gonna let it come and go without ever telling us."

"Hang on. Maybe he doesn't know you usually tell serious relationships your birthday," Eddie reasoned. "This is the longest relationship he's had."

You thought for a moment, then rapped your knuckles on the counter. 

"Actually, we're gonna take off.”

Eddie’s head swiveled to you. “What?”

“We have things to discuss.” You gave him a look, then turned to Robin. “Can you tell Steve we'll meet him at home?"

"You got it," Robin said, giving a two-finger salute. "Godspeed. And please pull that stick out of his ass!" 

“Buckley wouldn’t lie about Steve’s birthday, would she?”

“No,” you said, watching the butter melt in Mrs. Harrington’s luxury cast-iron pan. “Definitely not.”

You and Eddie had gotten a copy of the Harringtons' house keys before you'd become something more. After an incident involving dead power lines and Eddie breaking into a window to make sure Steve wasn't bleeding or possessed, Steve had gone ahead and given you keys. He'd said he trusted you with his life—and that Eddie was to never break in again. 

"'Kay, we have to approach this tactfully, sweetheart. How 'bout this: I'll bring up my own birthday first. Then it'll be a natural turn into a conversation about his."

"Or," you said, flipping the grilled cheese onto a plate. "We use a tried and true method that boyfriends and girlfriends have used for thousands of years: food and sweet lovin'."

Eddie turned on the puppy eyes. "Do I get one? I'll tell you my birthday too, baby."

"I already know your birthday, big guy," you snorted, setting down another sandwich in front of him. 

He pumped his fist. "Another victorious win."

You dusted your hands and leaned on the kitchen island. 

"We can't pressure him. That'll only make him retreat,” you mused. “I just hope he doesn't not trust us or anything."

"Nah," Eddie assured around a mouthful of sandwich. "Maybe he's just not a birthday kinda guy."

The 733i pulled into the driveway, engine shortly cutting out. Then you heard Steve's footsteps up to the door and the key turning in the lock. 

"Honey, you're home!" Eddie called gleefully. 

Steve looked up, startled, then relaxed when he realized it was you two. 

"Oh, hey. Robin said you came by. Sorry I missed you—Keith put me on this stupid delivery thing."

"No prob," Eddie said, rising and wiping his hands on his jeans. "We'd much rather have your undivided attention, hot stuff."

Before Steve could remove his uniform, Eddie pulled him into a deep kiss, hands sliding into the seat pockets of Steve's jeans. Steve stumbled from the intensity, clinging to Eddie's shoulders. He melted instantly. Eddie cupped the back of Steve's neck, coaxing out a whine. 

"Eds," you groaned. “Come on.”

Steve, puffy-lipped and dazed, watched you with wide eyes as Eddie kept him near. 

"What? Too much?" 

"At least let him sit down before you suck face," you chided, pulling out a chair. 

"Was just doing the sweet lovin' bit," Eddie mumbled. 

Steve eagerly turned to you, clearly hoping for a match in affection. You gave in a little, since he'd had a bad day, but it was important to save the main goods for the interrogation. 

"Eat," you ordered after pressing a few quick kisses to his lips. "Robin said you missed lunch."

"Snitch," he sighed, picking up the sandwich. "Wasn't that big of a deal."

"You already don't eat breakfast as often as you should. Do I need to come down here and force feed you pancakes every morning?" 

"Well." Steve swallowed. "Not gonna say no."

“You are so lucky you’re cute.”

“How ‘bout me, baby?” Eddie beamed. “Am I cute too?”

“Oh, the cutest,” you cooed, pulling him down by his leather jacket collar and nipping playfully at his lips. 

“Tease,” he complained. 

“We’ll get there.” 

Soon, Steve was down to the crusts of his sandwich. You propped yourself on your elbows, smiling sweetly.

“Want another? Or I can make you something else?”

Steve blinked, toast crumbs on his mouth. “I’m okay, baby. Thank you.”

Phase two. Eddie leapt up to herd Steve over to the couch under the guise of “helping” him take off his uniform. After washing and putting the plate back in the cupboard, you joined them, taking Steve’s other side. The TV was on, turned down low. Eddie gently finger-combed through the slight tangles in Steve’s hair. His lids had started to droop. You pressed a kiss behind Steve’s ear, cupping his chin. Then you traced the freckles on his collarbone, just resting your lips on him. He leaned into your touch.

“Everything okay, sweetie?” you asked mildly, not breaking your movements.

“Hmm? Yeah, everything’s fine,” Steve answered drowsily. 

“Work’s okay?” 

“Work’s fine. Jus’ today was a pain.”

“Buckley mentioned you haven’t been feeling your best,” Eddie said. 

“Oh. Um, I dunno. I'm fine, really."

You glanced at Eddie, who nodded. Steve's hand was on your hip; not wanting anything, just feeling you. 

"We heard it's your birthday soon."

The hand stiffened. You remained wrapped around Steve, wanting to keep the atmosphere light. 

"Yeah," Steve admitted. "It is."

You kissed his cheek. “Did you wanna do anything for it?”

Steve shrugged shyly. “We don’t have to.”

“We want to,” Eddie said. “If you want to.”

Steve sat up, not looking at either of you. Meticulously, he cracked his knuckles, shoulders tense.

“‘S just, I never really celebrated my birthday. My… my dad said it was stupid to put so much on a day that comes every year. Said I didn't deserve it, most years. But he always wanted a gift for his birthday.”

You and Eddie stayed quiet, waiting for Steve to finish. He moved from his knuckles to a healing cut on his thumb, picking at it.

“I don’t think Tommy H even knew when my birthday was.” He laughed, but it sounded more like a choke. “I guess he wasn’t really a birthday guy either. He took Carol to the lake for her birthday, I remember.”

“We can go someplace for your birthday,” offered Eddie. “Take my van. I’ll even let ya sit up front, since you’d be the birthday boy and all.”

“No, no,” Steve scoffed. “Oh my God, no, that’d be dumb. Not–not that going someplace with you guys is dumb, just that making a big deal about it now would be dumb. I don’t want you guys to have to plan around my birthday.”

You put your hand on Steve’s before he tore his cuticle picking the cut. He looked at you and tried for a smile. 

“Plus I didn’t give you a heads up or anything," he continued. "It’d be pretty much impossible to do something now.”

“That’s not—”

“Okay,” you cut Eddie off. “Okay, Steve. If you don’t want to do anything, we won’t. We were just wondering is all.”

He nodded, sucking on his lower lip. Eddie shot you a look behind Steve’s back. You held up a hand, shaking your head. 

"Cool. Yeah, it’d just be too much work anyway. I get it. I’m gonna, um, shower. We can watch a movie…?”

You kissed Steve’s lips with a smile. “Think it’s Eddie’s turn to pick.”

He groaned. “Okay, but not Star Wars again. I can recite practically every line at this point.”

“A New Hope is peak cinema,” Eddie informed him. “But whatever. I suppose I can scrounge up something else.”

He waited until Steve disappeared down the hall before pouncing on you.

“What was that, baby?” he whined. “Pretty sure you made his hair deflate.”

“We’re going to give Steve a birthday he’ll never forget. And it couldn’t be a surprise if I told him, could it?”

Eddie’s lips spread into a slow grin. “Was this your plan all along?”

“I had to make sure Steve didn’t genuinely want a party,” you explained. “But I think it’s pretty clear he does. He’s just guilty about it.”

“That was some messed up shit his dad pulled,” Eddie sighed. 

Steve didn’t like talking about his family much. They were usually away, including this month. You and Eddie slept over when they were gone—Steve hated being alone in his house.

The shower turned on. You leaned into Eddie, arms around his neck.

“So whaddya say, Eds? Ready to throw our boyfriend the best surprise party ever?”

“I’m following your lead, baby,” he said, bowing to meet your lips. “Let’s do it.”

This was not a good idea.

“Steve said not to break into his house again, Eds. That’s, like, his only rule.”

“This isn’t breaking in! We have keys. Besides, how can we keep this a surprise if we barge in like we own the place?”

“I don’t understand why we can’t just ask him his size.”

Eddie slid open the top dresser drawer. He rifled through socks for a moment, then moved on. 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a man for his measurements?” he grinned. “And you need the pictures for the video.”

“Well, hurry up.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You heard the front door open. Eddie froze.

“Shit,” you hissed. “Shit, shit.”

“I thought he wasn’t gonna be back till four. What do we do?” Eddie hissed.

“Okay, it’s fine,” you whispered. “I’ll distract him. Work fast.”

You hurried out to the hall, quietly shutting Steve’s bedroom door behind you. Steve was poking around in the fridge. Maybe you could hide? The drapes were long enough, right? Or behind the TV…

“Holy fuck!”

The bottles on the fridge door rattled as Steve flinched upon seeing you. He slammed the door too hard. 

“Y/N, Jesus Christ. What are you doing here? I thought you were busy today.”

Steve had wanted to hang out today. You’d made up an excuse about housework. Eddie had faked pneumonia.

“H-hey, Steve. I was—I am busy. But, um… I needed a pan! A frying pan. Mine broke.”

He tilted his head. “You came to my house to steal a pan?”

“Yep. I reeeally need to fry stuff. Plus your mom buys the best cookware.”

“Uh… okay. Well, since you’re here, did you wanna do something? Eddie’s sick so I was thinking we could get lunch and bring it to him.”

You winced. Why did he have to be so sweet?

“I can’t. Any other day I would but I–I shouldn’t even be here, really. I’m sorry, baby.”

“Oh.” Steve nodded. You could tell he was trying not to look too dejected. Fuck.

“I’m sorry,” you said again.

“No, hey, you have things to do. I don’t expect you to drop it all for me.”

God, those big eyes were brutal. But you had to stick it out.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Steve asked, half smiling. “Try not to break my mom’s kitchen.”

He started to walk toward the hall. You raced to block him.

“Wait! Where are you going?” 

Steve squinted. “I’m going to my room?”

“Your room?” you said loudly. “Steve is going to his room.”

“Y/N, are you feeling okay? Eddie said he has pneumonia. You didn’t catch anything, did you?”

“I feel fine, Steve. Are you sure you wanna go to your room?”

“Considering my clothes are in there, ideally, yes.”

“Cosmopolitan says changing in different rooms can be empowering.”

“Y/N,” he sighed. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing! What if your room is haunted?”

“What?”

You took Steve by his wrists and dragged him back to the island.

“Maybe you can try changing in the kitchen,” you shouted at the bedroom.

“Honey, you’re kinda freaking me out.”

“I–” 

Eddie peeked around the corner, waving. He gave you a thumbs up. You jumped, causing Steve to look truly concerned.

“I,” you began. “Love you! Stevie, baby, I love you. You’re a dream. Keep it tight.”

“Huh?”

You kissed his cheek and backed towards the front door. 

“Gotta go!”

“What about your pan?” he called.

“Eggs are overrated!” you rushed out, closing the door.

You bolted down the block where Eddie had parked, cutting through a neighbor’s lawn. Eddie was already in the van, engine running.

“You’d better have gotten those pictures,” you panted. “I ran.”

“Your efforts were not in vain, baby. Great vamping, by the way. You lost me with the haunted room, though.”

“Please drive. I can’t believe there isn’t a single brain cell among the three of us.”

“There is,” Eddie said. “‘S just Steve has it this week.”

“Call Dustin. We’re gonna need all the help we can get.”

“Does anybody have any questions?”

“I have a question,” said Max, raising her hand. “Who the hell is that?”

“This is Spider,” Eddie introduced. “He’s the one letting me borrow his projector and screen for the party.”

“Whassup, dawg?” Spider nodded, piercings glinting as he did so.

“You have a projector guy?” asked Robin. 

“I know people,” Eddie defended. “I met Spider at one of my performances.”

“This dude shreds on guitar,” Spider said, then turned to you. “You’re a very lucky woman. I wish you all a lifetime of happiness.”

“Thanks, Spider.” You smiled awkwardly. “Okay, aside from Eddie's friend, any other questions?”

“How long am I keeping Steve occupied?” Robin asked.

“At least until eight. If you need an excuse, I can—”

“No, no,” she grinned, looking too pleased. “I’ll figure something out.” 

“O…kay. Dustin, you know what you’re doing?”

“Absolutely,” he said, giving a thumbs up. “And here’s the tape.”

He handed you the video. You took it eagerly.

“Awesome. Now look: ultimately this is to give Steve a great birthday. So let’s focus on that, okay?”

“This is really cool what you’re doing, Y/N,” Lucas decided. 

“It also helps that Steve’s no longer a douche,” added Mike.

“Hey,” scolded Eddie. “Watch it, Wheeler.”

“Uh, fellas?” said Robin, who had one of the curtains parted. “Did anybody tell Steve to come over?”

“What?” you yelped, rushing to the window. “Eds, did he call you?”

“Not since yesterday, baby. Gave the pneumatic performance of a lifetime.”

“Shit, shit. Okay, this is fine. It’s fine. Eddie, you’ve just gotta make him go away.”

“What? I’m supposed to be bedridden.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but you gotta. We’re at your trailer. It’ll look suspicious if I come out. Just pretend you’re getting better.”

“I’m no good at lying,” he whined. “Especially not to those baby browns. He’ll see right through me, sweetheart.”

“No, brother, you’ve totally got this,” said Spider. “Treat him like an old Fender. Gentle, but firm.”

Knock! Knock! 

“It’s okay,” you added. “It’s only until the end of the week. Here.”

You threw a knitted throw around Eddie’s shoulders. 

“What do I even say?” he whispered.

“You’ve been dating for three months,” Robin hissed. “It’s Steve.”

“I don’t need that attitude, Buckley.”

“Eddie?” came Steve’s voice. “Babe, you there?”

Eddie hacked a cough, jiggling the lock.

“Here,” he croaked, pulling open the door. “Steve?” 

“Hey," Steve said brightly. "How do you feel?”

“Uh, sick,” Eddie started weakly. “S-so sick. Achoo!”

“Oh.” You winced at Steve’s soft tone. “Okay, that’s cool. I was just—sorry, this is silly but uh, Y/N’s been acting really weird and I dunno, I just haven’t seen you guys much this week. Are we good? That night, with the birthday thing…”

“Yes!” Eddie blurted too loud. “Everything’s good. Everything’s amazing. We haven’t even thought about your birthday.”

Ouch. You didn’t have to see Steve’s face to know what a crash and burn that was.

“Oh. Uh, right. So…” You heard the front steps creak. “Wait, whose bikes are those?”

“What?” Eddie squeaked. “Oh, p-probably some kids left 'em. You know kids, always leaving their shit everywhere.”

“That one kinda looks like Dustin’s…”

“Nope, don’t think so!”

“Eds,” Steve sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Y/N but, like, I wish you’d talk to me instead of making things up. Y/N said she needed to borrow a pan and Robin’s been acting super weird this week. Dustin won’t even come into the store. Everybody’s walking on eggshells around me and—”

He stopped, eyes wide. Eddie pulled the throw tighter.

“Are you… are you guys breaking up with me?”

“What? No! God no, Steve, we’re not breaking up with you. It’s just—we’re just…”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, hopeful.

“...Busy,” Eddie finished lamely. “Really busy.”

“And sick,” Steve said coldly. “Right.”

“Baby…”

“No, it’s—” Steve held up a hand. “It’s fine. Whatever. I’ll see you later. Or not. Tell Dustin hi.”

You covered your face with your hands when the door slammed. It took Steve less than a minute to leave, his car soon rolling out of the park. 

“Munson. Dude. No bueno,” Spider said, eyes wide. 

“I know!” he cried, tearing the throw off. “Fuck, I know, I know, it was terrible. I’m terrible. And so close to his birthday, God…”

“No, no. Eds, I haven’t been much better,” you said. “I was so caught up in keeping this a surprise…” 

And now Steve didn’t even want to see you.

“It’s okay, guys,” Dustin assured. “Steve’ll forgive you once it comes together.”

“He was so hurt,” Eddie cringed. “God, maybe we should just call it off.”

“No,” Robin said firmly. “No way. I have covered for that dingus too many times to let it all go to shit. He’s head over heels for you both. He’ll understand.”

You turned to Eddie with a frown. He pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head.

“Whaddya think, Eddie?”

“I think Buckley’s right, sweetheart. Steve’ll understand. He’s just taking it hard ‘cause it’s his birthday.”

“Yeah?”

“I hope so,” he chuckled. “Or I’ll have faked pneumonia for nothing. Plus think about how worth it it’ll be to see the look on his face.”

Eddie was right. Steve deserved this. He deserved a birthday to remember. You had to pull through.

“Okay,” you said. “What time does Party City close?”

“Can I have a taste? Pleeeaaase?”

“For the thousandth time, no!” You moved the mixing bowl away from Eddie’s wandering hands. “You’ll have some soon enough. Why don’t you help the kids with the decorations?”

“I was actually banned from the yard, if you can believe it. Apparently there is such a thing as too many balloons.”

You rolled your eyes. “Take a brownie. One. As compensation.”

Eddie happily took the confection, immediately getting fudge icing and sprinkles on his nose. He took a bite and groaned, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek. 

“Shit, these are good, baby. He’s gonna love these.”

“Yeah? It’s a new recipe.”

“Hell yeah, angel. Are you gonna make these for my birthday?”

“If you’re good,” you winked, wiping frosting from his lip. “Here, help me decorate the cake. This one’s cooled.”

You had smoothly iced the top of the red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. In delicate cursive, you’d already written Happy birthday with blue icing. You handed Eddie the piping bag.

“Here, write his name.”

“Shit, okay, I got this.”

Eddie took the bag with both hands, sticking his tongue out in concentration. His aim wasn’t as careful as yours, so the message ended up saying Happy birthday, sTeVE baBY!!!

“Hm. Think he’ll be able to tell who wrote what?” 

You bit your lip, leaning into his chest. 

“That’s okay, honey. Adds personality. Now, please.” You took the piping bag back. “Please go make sure Spider and the kids aren’t tearing up the Harringtons’ lawn.”

“Very well. I shall return,” he said in his best dungeon master voice. “Save me a cupcake!”

You put the last layer of the birthday cake into the oven. Then the phone rang. 

“Harrington residence.”

“Hey there, best girlfriend in the world,” came Robin’s voice. “Are you guys almost done setting up?” 

“Almost,” you said, checking the clock. “Give us another half hour. Everything okay with Steve?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. I jimmied the lock to the supply closet and made him think he’s locked in.”

“You what?”

“It’s fine!” she insisted. “He’s just pissed. He’s not, like, having a breakdown or anything.”

“Robin,” you sighed. “That’s not what I meant when I said keep him at work.”

“No, it’s cool. He’s—oh, he’s trying to kick down the door. Gotta go. We’ll be there in thirty minutes!”

Thirty minutes passed in a blur. Spider, oddities aside, got the projector running smoothly. You gave him a half dozen cupcakes and twenty bucks. He bowed deeply, kissed Eddie’s rings, and left. Joyce Byers had generously helped you with the dinner, and as soon as the cake was complete, you warmed the chicken.

“He’s here!” came Will’s voice, who’d been assigned lookout. “He’s here! Places, guys.”

Everyone filed out to the backyard. You and Dustin turned on the projector while Eddie and the others pulled out the screen. You heard them walk through the pool gate with Robin talking louder than usual to signal her entrance. 

“...Keith definitely needs to get those locks changed,” Steve was saying.

“You’re so right. We’ll call him first thing tomorrow. Or maybe you could be less of a dingus and not get locked in next time.”

“I have never gotten locked in before! Robin, why won’t you let me inside my house?”

"It's a secret," she grinned. 

"Robin, look, I really don't feel up to this. My week has kinda been a bummer and—"

"Steve.” She turned his head to the screen. "Just watch."

The projector clicked on, tape rolling. The screen was blank for a moment before switching to the video.

“What am I saying?” Max had been impatient when you’d caught her after school to record her part.

“It’s his birthday. Say what you’d tell him on his birthday,” you urged from behind the camera.

She looked at the camera, sighing.

“Fine. Hi, Steve. Uh, happy birthday. You’re twenty, right? Practically an old man. Don’t break a hip. Somebody’s gotta watch out for us shitheads.” She smiled then, rolling her eyes. “Guess you’re alright, though. Happy birthday.”

“Hi, Steve.” Joyce Byers sweetly waved at the camera. “Y/N and Eddie are here. They asked me to say a few words to you on your birthday. You guys are such dolls.”

“Mrs. Byers—” you said offscreen. “If you could talk to Steve…?” 

“Oh, right. Steve, I know we don’t know each other well, but I’ve heard a lot about you and how you’ve grown into a very nice young man. Thank you for keeping my sons safe, and for protecting the kids. Happy birthday!”

Steve stared, eyebrows to his hairline. His lips were parted, eyes never leaving the screen as Robin herded him into a chair. 

“Steve, buddy, hi!” Dustin beamed on screen. “You’re turning twenty, that’s awesome! Um, I wanna say that you’re really cool and you’re like one of my best friends now. Also, Y/N and Eddie did all this and they’re awesome. Please don’t be mad at them for being weird this week—they’ve just been planning hard for your party.”

The others had begun to trickle out of hiding. You and Eddie were slow in joining, not wanting to interrupt the video. 

“Harrington,” came Hopper’s firm voice. “Heard you’re turning twenty. I better not get any calls about being drunk and disorderly.” His expression softened into what could almost be called a smile. He nodded at you and Eddie behind the camera. “Glad you’ve found a better crowd to run with. Happy birthday.”

You stepped out fully. Steve’s gaze landed on you and Eddie. His eyes were glassy.

“Happy birthday, Steve,” El, Lucas, and Mike yelled. “Hope it’s awesome!” she added.

“Hey,” you whispered. 

“Hey,” Steve said, equally as soft. “How did—what—”

“Happy birthday, dingus!” Robin sang on film. “Okay, wait. Look at them for a second.” She shifted the camera around, panning it around to you and Eddie. 

“Robin!” you squealed on camera, trying to push it back around. “Speak to him!”

“No, you guys should get a feature too. Steve, these two love you so much and you’d better not fuck it up because they really are the best.” 

She turned it back to her, smiling. 

“Now I’ll say my piece: you’re my best friend. Not to get sappy and shit, but you’re a good guy and you deserve good things. Happy birthday.”

The tape rolled to a stop. You held your breath. A tear slipped down Steve’s cheek. Eddie was quick to swipe it away from his thumb.

“Babe,” Eddie murmured. “Is–is this okay?”

“Okay?” Steve choked. “Okay?”

“We know,” Eddie continued, grimacing, “that we’ve been acting fucking weird but only because we wanted this to be a surprise. We’re real sorry, babe.”

“Don’t—Jesus, don’t be sorry—” Steve gasped, stumbling forward. 

He threw both arms over you and Eddie. You hugged him back hard, kissing his shoulder. 

“Happy birthday, big guy,” Eddie said.

“We love you so much,” you added. “Happy birthday, Stevie.”

“You guys did this all for me? I thought…shit.” 

Steve sniffed, rubbing his eyes. Eddie kissed him first, then you went. Steve gasped into your mouth, overwhelmed.

“You okay?” you murmured, cupping his cheeks. “Not too much?”

“No. It’s perfect. It’s—God, a single cupcake would’ve been great. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“We wanted to! We love you! I love Steve Harrington and Y/N L/N!” Eddie shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Eds,” you scolded laughingly, tugging his arm. “You’ll wake the neighbors, quit!”

Eddie pulled Steve in by his waist.  

"Let 'em complain. Our favorite guy's birthday is today."

You led Steve and the others back into the house. There, you began to dish out the food. Steve stayed close as you and Eddie helped the kids serve themselves. The dining room had been decorated with pictures of Steve. With you, with Eddie, with Robin, at school, in the summer, whatever photos you could find. 

“These were what we had to get a few days ago,” you explained. 

“That’s why a bunch of photos are missing from my room,” Steve said. 

“Yeah, Eddie’s no James Bond, clearly,” you laughed. “But we… well, we made the theme Memory. ‘Cause you haven’t really had any good birthdays. So we hope this’ll start a new line of memories.”

Steve bit his lip, rubbing his eye.

“Please don’t cry, handsome,” Eddie pleaded, wiping another stray tear from Steve’s cheek. “This is supposed to be happy.”

"No, I am happy. You two always bring life into this house," Steve murmured. "You make it feel like home."

You covered the pans and pulled your boys near. 

"Well, we can do this as much as you want. Eddie and I will cook anytime you like, honey."

"I cooked," Eddie said proudly. "I also did some decorating. Shit, your present!"

Steve's eyes widened. "My present? This wasn't it?" 

"No, duh. We had to get you a gift, obviously."

"You didn't have to—" 

"But we wanted to," you interrupted, silencing Steve with a kiss. "Will you let us spoil you?" 

Eddie gave Steve a gift bag stuffed with his favorite newspaper funnies. 

"A jacket?” Steve gasped. "Eddie, it’s…”

"Now we can match," Eddie said giddily. "Y/N has jeans to complete the set."

Eddie had customized the back of the jacket with a mix of his, yours, and Steve's favorite patches. On the sleeve it said bestest birthday boy!!!! He'd also patched on a heart that said S.H. hearts E.M. + Y.N.

"You looked so good in Eddie's vest," you slyly grinned. “Hawkins won’t survive with you killing in denim.”

"Okay, well, I hope you know you're only giving me a giant ego, so," Steve announced. 

"It's your birthday," Eddie shrugged. "We can afford it."

"Hey, are we eating or what!" shouted Dustin. 

"Eat, eat, we'll be there in a sec," you called back. 

"Probably making out in the kitchen," you heard Robin mutter. 

Steve took your and Eddie's hands in his. He sniffed, smiling wide. 

"Thank you. Really. This is—this is the most special thing anybody's ever done for me."

"Good," you said, kissing his temple. "You deserve this and more."

"Yeah, and just so you know," Eddie added. "This is only the beginning. Now that we know your birthday, you're not escaping us, Harrington."

"Oh?" Steve laughed bashfully, apple-cheeked and glowing. "How on earth are you gonna top this one?"

You and Eddie grinned at each other.

"It’s a surprise.”

[willgayers]

“runaway with me”

hello kids here we go this is officially the first thing im publishing after my hiatus so i hope you like it

ships; fem.reader + eddie bear genres; fluff notes; it’s a wedding. + au no strange stuff has ever happened warnings; dumping??? 

this is it.

your wedding day. it's here, it's happening, it's right now. you take a deep breath before guiding the half full glass of mimosa to your lips, your first intention to only take a small sip; but ending up swinging the rest of it down your throat. this is it. your wedding day. "damn. someone's nervous," your best friend robin snarked as she made her way into the bridal room. "if i didn't know better, i'd say you have a big day ahead of you." "shut up." you snap, falling to the couch. "what's wrong?" robin frowned. "i mean; this is it." you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, staring at the sunny summer day behind the window. "i'm actually going to get married today." "really?" robin raised her brows. "because taking from what i'm currently seeing and hearing, i'd say you were about to be hanged today." "am i doing the right thing?" you ask, dropping your head back down to look at robin. "what do you mean?" robin asks, sitting on a chair opposite you. "i mean..." you start, furrowing your brows. "what if it's all too soon?" robin stares at you for a moment, not saying anything. "does it feel like it?" she carefully asks. you don't answer. yes! yes it does! yes, yes, yes yes yes - "i don't know," you say. "i need a drink." "coming right up," robin says and jumps up from the chair. you sigh as you close your eyes, leaning your head to your hand that's resting on the side of the couch. you loved your fiancé. of course you did, it wasn't that. but lately, as the wedding got closer and closer, you'd started to wonder if this indeed was all too soon. you were only 26; you hadn't really lived yet. there were so many things to see, so many people to meet ─ did you really wanna commit to one person so soon? and if you did, weren't you supposed to be one hundred percent sure? because you weren't. not anymore, at least. "here," robin said, shoving you the champagne. "drink up." you grabbed the glass, and took a sip, a scared look in your eyes.

»

   focus. you got this. eddie stares at himself in the mirror, eyes squinting to get a better look of the bowtie he is trying to get around his white button-up collar. seriously, dude! it's not that hard. he clenches his jaw, fingers trying to work through the silky material, but he keeps getting it wrong. "stupid goddamn fingers-" he curses, tossing the bowtie to the corner of his bedroom. he stares at it on the ground, eyes filled with anger as if the bowtie was the reason for all wrong in the world. as the piece of accessory doesn't speak up under eddie's glare, he decides to leave it for now. "i need a beer." he murmurs to himself and starts making his way to his trailer's kitchen. he opens up the fridge that holds inside a pizza box, a block of cheese and a six pack of beer bottles. he grabs one bottle and opens the cap with the edge of the counter. as he lifts the bottle to meet his lips, he turns his gaze to the letter on the table.

              dear eddie munson mr. and future mrs. jacobson happily invite you to their celebration of love,      june 5th.

he looks at the letter for a few seconds, before he takes a long gulp and makes his way back into the bedroom. placing the beer bottle on his table, he squats down to get the bowtie from the floor. "work with me this time," he murmurs, and gets back up. he starts to try again, and this time finally manages. as he looks at his suited up figure in the mirror, he feels his stomach turn around.     he's really going. he's really going; to your wedding; but not as your groom; as your... guest. eddie shakes his head as he turns around to sip his beer again. it was stupid, really. you hadn't seen each other in... what, six years? it's not that long, eddie thinks to himself. but it is! she's moved on! she's with another guy! well, maybe it's not serious. she's marrying him! yeah, and? do you know how many marriages end up in divorces? eddie groans as he walks out of his bedroom, trying to silent the inner conversation he's having with himself. "eddie, you're being ridiculous." he speaks out loud now, as he starts to look for his car keys. "just go to the wedding, try not to cry, and come back home." "try not to cry- it's a wedding!" he blurts out as he steps out of his trailer. "everyone cries at weddings!"

»

"just try not to cry." you say to yourself as you stare at yourself in the mirror, standing in a white dress and a veil going down the back of your head. "you're doing the right thing; you love him; it's gonna be okay. there are three hundred people out there waiting for you to get married." she takes a deep breath. "just try not to cry." "hey, you ready?" robin asks, knocking on the door before stepping in. her jaw drops as she looks at you, and she begins to smile. "wow." she says. "you look absolutely-" "there are three hundred people out there waiting for me to get married," you blurt out. "seriously?" robin says. "we're still going on about this?" "i don't wanna do this, robin!" you rush to her, grabbing her by the shoulders as you start to lose it. "i don't- i- i can't! i won't, i can't, i won't!" "okay, y/n, calm down." robin grabs you by the shoulders as well, talking to you in a calming manner, and nodding. "lets get you some fresh air." you stare at her for a moment, before you nod. "uh-huh," you say. "okay."

»

what is that thing people always yell at weddings in movies? eddie thinks to himself as he sits inside his car, driving towards the venue,  bon jovi playing from the radio. OBJECT! he remembers. "I OBJECT!" he rehearses. no, god, no, eddie. you can't do that, he shakes his head.        but wouldn't it be kinda romantic? he glances up. romantic? for someone she hooked up with six years ago to object at her wedding? but it was more than a hook up! eddie knows it; and he knows you know it too. you were inseparable that summer. you spent nearly every day together, and when you didn't you sure as hell were running through each other's minds all the time. it was the most in love eddie had ever been, and when you left for college, he was heartbroken. he remembers going to your place to pick you up for another skating lesson, only to have your sibling hand him a letter that just said:

     "im so sorry, eddie. goodbye." i'm sorry, eddie? that's it? nothing else? it was something he'd stayed mad at you for a long time. but as time flied by, the anger turned into regret. maybe if he would've been more straight forward. maybe if he would've asked you to be his girlfriend, maybe if he would've showed you just how serious he was with you ─ but shit, that's in the past. there's nothing he can do about it now.

or is there?

i mean come on, she can't really love this guy. who on earth is named dan? eddie rolls his eyes. douchebags, that's who. he probably doesn't even know how to play d&d.

the thought of objecting the wedding still goes through his brain. the thought of slamming the doors open, running down the hall to interrupt the wedding and shouting out his love to you keeps giving him very dangerous ideas; but he can't. he can't do it. he can't ruin your wedding.

»

robin is walking you out, holding you by the arm. "just take deep breaths," she guides you. "think happy thoughts, happy happy thoughts-" "what if i don't really love him?" you panic. "y/n, come on." robin says. "of course you love him! you wouldn't be marrying him if you didn't." you stare at her for a moment, biting down to your lip. "can i tell you something?" you say. "it's something really bad." robin stares at you, worried. "oh god." she says. "please don't confess like a murder or something." "no!" you hiss. "no, it's... gosh, robin. this is worse." "worse than murder?" robin raises her brows. you look around to make sure there's no one around the two of you, before you sit down to a bench. robin looks at you, before she starts to gather the hem of your dress away from the other side of the bench so that she can sit next to you. "you remember... when we were in high school. right?" you start. "vaguely." robin murmurs. "and you remember..." you continue. "eddie." "eddie munson?" robin raises her brows a little. "hellfire club? oh yeah, i remember him." robin snorts. "well, during the summer after graduation, he and i... kind of had a..." you squirm a little. "a thing." robin gapes at you, her eyes wide. "WHAT?" she blurts out. "you and eddie munson-? i- i didn't even know you two were friends!" "well, we weren't!" you explain. "i mean, at first- but then i met him one day, at the beach. you know i used to go there by myself to think; and turns out so did he, and we got to talking, and-" "and did you have sex with him?" robin blurts out. "no!" you say, shocked. "well, i mean-" robin raises her brows again. "not then, but yeah, later." you say. "several... several times." you find yourself memorizing it in your brain as your gaze slides off to the distance. "oh, my gosh." robin drops her head to her hands and you snap back to the moment. "we spent the whole summer together, and it was amazing. i was so happy with him, but then i... i left," you murmur. "for college." "oh my god," robin repeats, now turning back to look at you. "and now you're telling me-" "that maybe it was a mistake," you say. "ending things with him." "dude-" robin shakes her head. "you're not serious. are you? oh my god. you are serious." you bite your lip. "are you saying you're still thinking of him?" robin whispers. "i mean, sometimes," you say. "but especially now- and i mean- robin i was so happy with him!" you whine. "i'd never been more happier, i felt so free and relaxed and fun! i felt fun, robin!" "well you're definitely no fun now, y/n! it's been six years!" robin blurted out. "i know, god- i'm stupid," you shake your head, letting it fall to your hands. "what am i even thinking- it's my wedding day. god." robin looks at you for a moment, not really knowing how to feel. "is he invited?" she asks quietly. "yeah," you mumble in response. "and he's allowed to bring a plus one. so, it's probably going to be a girlfriend." "or a boyfriend," robin notes, and you lift your head to look at her. "what? we don't discriminate." she shrugs. "maybe he's gay." you deadpan at her. "hey! i'm just trying to make you feel better." robin defends herself, holding her hands up a little. "you guys- what the hell are you doing here?" steve rushes to the backyard. "people are looking everywhere for you!" he says to you. "we're sorry, we're kind of in the middle of a crisis over here," robin says to steve. "a crisis?" steve asks, raising his brows. "y/n hooked up with eddie munson and she's still kind of in love with him." robin answers. steve's eyes widen as you gasp, turning to look at robin. "what?" robin blurts out. "steve has the right to know!" "oh my god," steve blurts out. "you hooked up with him-? when?!" "last night," you snap sarcastically, before sighing. "after graduation." "wow," steve says, leaning against the wall. "this is huge. and you just now realized you're still in love with him? like, it never occured to you anywhere in these passing years?" "weddings, man." robin shrugs, staring off to the distance. "is he here?" you suddenly ask steve. "i don't know," steve shrugs. "why?" "i have to tell him." you say. "WHAT?" steve and robin say at the same time as you get up. "if he's here, i have to tell him." you continue, walking back in to the building. "but what about his girlfriend- or boyfriend!" robin blabs as she rushes after you, steve after her. "yeah- and your wedding-?!" steve blurts out. they walk in to the vestibule, and some elders gasp in terror as they see you walking around in your wedding attire. but you don't care, because right there by the big doors, you see him. "eddie," you breathe. "eddie." robin says. "...eddiiiie," steve nervous-laughs quietly. eddie's staring at you. he doesn't think he's ever seen you this beautiful, and he's at a loss for words. the idea of interrupting your wedding is definitely lifting it's head right now in his thoughts.      speak, you look like an idiot, he thinks to himself. "hey you guys," he utters out and forces a small smile. "y/n, you look... you look incredible." he holds a hand out to gesture at you. steve and robin glance at each other.  “well, this is gonna take a while,” robin murmurs and then clears her throat. "steve, do you know any good stand up comedy jokes?" she starts, and yanks steve away from the vestibule.

you look at eddie, your heart beating like a drum, feeling it all the way up in your throat as you begin to make your way towards him. "you came," you just say. "well, i was invited." eddie jokes dryly. "and, of course; it's your wedding. i wouldn't miss it." you stop once you're standing less than a feet away from him. "so, uhm... where's the lucky guy?" eddie tries to chitchat, and you notice the room has emptied from everyone else. there's only you and him now. "eddie, i'm so sorry." you say, and his smile drops. he's quiet for a few seconds. "yeah." he says. "i know. i read the letter front and back." "no, i'm so sorry for that too-" you hurry to say. "that's my point exactly. i never should've left like that; i- i don't think i ever should've-" eddie raised his brows in confusion, and you stop as you stare at him. are the words really coming out of your mouth? "should've what?" eddie asked. you look into each other's eyes, and you can feel the sweat rising in your palms as you prepare yourself for what you're about to say next. "left you." you finish in a weak voice. eddie's eyes widen a bit as his lips part, now he feels his heart beating loud too. "what?" he asks, voice quiet. "god, i never should've left you." you blurt out. "eddie, i- i can't marry him, i-" eddie steps closer to grab your hands, to stop them from shaking. "i can't marry him," you look into his eyes, tears filling your own ones. "then don't," he says. you stop, breath hitching in your throat. "what-?" you breath out. "then don't marry him." he says. "runaway with me." you look at each other, and you try to wrap your head around what he'd just said. "what- eddie, that's-" you let out a panicky laugh. "that's crazy." "i know," eddie nods, grabbing your hands tighter and stepping even closer, now holding both your hands against his chest. "it is crazy. it's- it's absolutely bonkers, really-" you both chuckled fast, and you were holding your sobs in. "but that's why i think we should do it." eddie nods reassuringly. "if you don't wanna marry this guy, don't. you shouldn't." "eddie, i..." you shake your head in confusion, closing your eyes. "i don't know-" "y/n-" he starts, grabbing your face. “i never stopped loving you. i never stopped thinking about that summer, i-” his words assured everything you needed. "yes." you blurt out, and eddie blinks at you. "yes," you repeat, tears spilling from your eyes. "i can't believe i'm doing this; but yes. let's do it." eddie starts to smile, and you feel like your heart is gonna burst out of your chest. this is what it's supposed to feel like on your wedding day. you begin smiling too. "seriously?" eddie asks, wiping the tears from under your eyes. "seriously," you nod, and eddie's smile only widens. "let's go!" you giggle out, throwing your veil to the ground and grabbing eddie's hand. you begin to run out of the doors, pulling eddie behind you. "TAXI!" you shout, waving your free hand. as you see the next free cab driving over to the two of you, you turn around back to eddie. before he can say anything, you throw your arms to his neck and kiss him. the moment your bodies and lips touch, fireworks go on in both of your heads. eddie grabs your waist, pulling you even closer against him as he kisses you back, his tongue sliding against yours. breathless, you pull away from the kiss, only enough to see his face. "i can't believe we missed six years of doing that." you say. "well, we're just gonna have to make up for it." he smiles, and you both hop in to the taxi.

»

steve and robin come back to the vestibule, only to find your veil on the ground. "well..." steve starts. "they're gone." "shit." robin says. "what are we gonna tell the guests?" they both turn to look at each other. "i don't know, you wanna get married?" steve jokes, and robin glares at him.

»

 "so, guys... we have some bad news." robin starts with an awkward laugh as she stands behind the microphone.

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

Rivalry Put To Rest

Pairing - Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Warnings - Arranged marriages (non of that under age like child marriages though fuck that yuck, these are obviously of age adults i just really wanna make that clear jesus), praise kink, modern AU, just lovely soft sex with my favorite man :'^).

Word Count - 2.4k

Other Comments - Dude it’s been so long since ive actually written anything im so sorry. But i couldn't resist writing this. I know i promised xiao but he will come in time. This is a little bit of a slow burn, or at least the sex doesnt start right away lol i want this to be nice and soft. P.s. youre on birth control so dont worry about no condom lol.

You did not like this idea. Why your parents were still forcing you into this was beyond you seeing as how you were a fully grown ass adult. You just couldn’t stomach the disappointment you would be seen as in their eyes. You were the daughter to the CEO of one of the most well known Law Firms in Teyvat. Zhongli was the son of another CEO who controlled your Rival company. Yours's and his parents wanted to finally settle the bad blood between the firms by having the two of you get married. You knew damn well the benefits of doing this was, god forbid if your Fathers firm went underwater, you would still be secure with Zhongli as your husband.

It’s not that you didn’t like Zhongli, and he certainly was not ugly; you just couldn’t stand your freedom to choose who you really wanted to marry being ripped from you. It was non negotiable though, so you had to go through with it. Zhongli didn’t seem to mind at all, he thoroughly enjoyed his very brief moments he had with you before, and was frankly excited to get more of those moments. He just hoped you didn’t resent him or blame him for this.

You both of course had an extravagant wedding, why would you not when your family was one of the wealthiest in Teyvat. You were grateful to your parents for letting you invite a few of your friends, and it seemed Zhongli had done the same. There was almost like a crowd formed around you two at the after party, you talking to your friends, and him with his. Zhongli had offered you his arm to hold onto, but you politely declined, feeling that even just holding his arm was too intimate for you.

“Already trouble in paradise for the two lovebirds?” One of Zhongli’s friends had chuckled, a red head with a stupidly smug smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as you shot a look at him. Your friend Ningguang frowned, turning to look at your now husband.

“Control your dog, Mr. Zhongli.” You let out a chuckle, when you heard Zhongli’s friend scoff.

After a while, it was customary for the newlyweds to go on their honeymoon; so after a couple of hours you had to bid farewell to your friends and family. You approached the jet the two of you would be taking, with Zhongli carrying the luggage not far behind. You went ahead and boarded, while your new husband spoke with the pilot and the crew, sighing to yourself.

“Come on (y/n) suck it up, this honeymoon will be over sooner than you know it.” You mumbled to yourself, settling into the high class jet.

“Did you say something (y/n)?” You jumped, not expecting to hear Zhongli’s voice. “Ah.. My apologies, I did not mean to startle you.” You sighed and shook your head, waiving your hand to dismiss the apology.

“You’re fine Zhongli, I’m just… Nervous is all.” He hummed in response, nodding as he settled himself into the jet.

“I understand (y/n), I really do apologize about this being thrusted into your lap. I know this isn’t the ideal circumstances for a young woman to go through.” You nodded, glad that he understood your hesitance to the situation. Zhongli really wasn’t a bad guy.

“It’s really not your fault Zhongli, I understand you probably had no more say in it than I.” You gave him a reassuring smile, the first genuine smile to grace his line of sight. Without noticing he found himself smiling back, relieved that you didn’t see him with any contempt. A comfortable silence settled, as the jet took off towards your destination.

It wasn’t a long flight, and along the way you were able to make small talk, slowly learning more about Zhongli. After two short hours, you felt the jet jump slightly against the ground before steadying itself on the runway. After a few more moments, you both departed, Zhongli once again handling the luggage, leaving your side to retrieve it.

Before you knew it, you were at the house you would be staying at for your honeymoon. It sat on a beautiful beach side shore, with a large open patio looking out over the ocean. By the time you guys had arrived it was already around 10:00 o’clock at night, so the crescent moon was high in the sky as you both stepped out onto the patio. The moon and stars gleamed against the inky black water, with the rhythmic beating of the waves lulling you both into a comfortable silence. You stood next to your husband and finally for the first time that night, actually took in his face.

The light of the scenery exposed the beauty Zhongli held in his face, the pale light bouncing off his cheekbones and illuminating his golden irises as he looked out over the sea. He must’ve felt you staring because moments later those golden eyes were locked on yours.

“Do you like the scenery (y/n)?” You gave a quick nod before ducking away from his gaze, a red flush rising to your face. You heard him chuckle for a moment before shifting.

“I know what is customary to happen on our honeymoon, and I do not want you to feel pressured to fulfill that part of our relationship.” You flushed even more as you suddenly found the pattern of the wood to be very interesting. You had completely forgot that sex was usually something people did on honeymoons. It seemed normal, because generally the people who get married have had a relationship before this so nothing felt awkward about the topic. Obviously that wasn't the case in this situation, but there was something in you that kind of wanted to. Something in you that felt comfortable enough with him to do it, you already trusted him which shocked you. What if he wasn’t though? What if he was uncomfortable with the thought of having sex with you right now which is why he brought it up so suddenly?

“Thank you Zhongli, you’re too kind. You’ve truly been so understanding through this entire thing.” You looked back up to him finally, and found a gentle smile on his face. He nodded and hummed before turning back to the house.

“We should probably get to bed, it’s already fairly late.” You nodded, pulling out your phone to check the time. You both walked about into the house together. “There is another room down the hall from the master bedroom if you don’t want to sleep in the same bed. It’s smaller so I could always take it.” There he goes, being considerate and kind; handling your thoughts and feelings like glass that would break any second. You remained silent for a moment contemplating on what he had said, before gently shaking your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. I want to share the bed with you.” You smiled up at him, and he looked almost surprised with your willingness, but the shock didn’t last for long before he smiled back at you and nodded; offering you his arm to hold on to, which you shakily took. You both reached the bedroom, where he had placed all of your guy's luggage before letting you go to retrieve your sleeping clothes as he did the same. You went into the bathroom, to give yourself and him some privacy before slowly re-entering. Zhongli was in a pair of brown silk pants with golden accents and a black short sleeve shirt. Your eyes met each other, and Zhongli smiled when he saw you.

“I know that these were unideal circumstances to get married, but I’m happy it is you who is my spouse. I can only hope you think the same of me, and that at some point you can genuinely feel connected to me.” You blushed as he said this, genuinely taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. You feel bad for dreading and almost resenting Zhongli when you were first notified about the engagement, once finding out just how compassionate and caring the man before you was. Slowly, the two of you made your way into the large king sized bed. There was a large gap between the two of you, large enough to comfortably fit another person. Your mind raced a mile a minute trying to decide whether or not you should scoot in a little closer to the man next to you.

And so you did, without taking another moment to think about it you shifted closer to Zhongli until your side gently pressed against his. You felt Zhongli stiffen beside you for a brief moment, and for a split second you regretted scooting in; that was until you felt him roll over onto his side and wrap a strong arm around your torso. You could really take in Zhongli’s scent like this and you noticed that he smelled like amber rum, chestnuts, and a hint of vanilla. It wrapped you in a warmth that lulled you into a comforting silence as the two of you laid together like this.

You rolled onto your side, letting Zhongli’s arm now rest against your waist. Your noses were almost touching as the two of you stared into each other's eyes. You saw his eyes dart down to your lips for the briefest of seconds, letting yourself do the same.

“Zhongli…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “Can I kiss you?” You saw Zhongli’s eyes widen as his gorgeous eyes met yours, not expecting you to ask him that.

“I would love nothing more… Darling.” You flushed at the mild pet name, before softly placing your lips onto his. It felt as time skidded to a halt, as the two of you moved against each other with the grace of a slow dance. Soon enough it became heated, as you changed positions and straddled his hips. You could feel his boner pressing against you through his pants, and it made warmth bloom in your chest.

“You really want to do this right? You don’t feel pressured my dear?” You smiled at Zhongli’s questions, nodding before he could get another one out. It felt good to be so concerned about, so doted over.

“Yes Zhongli, I really want to do this with you. I trust you.” This time it was Zhongli’s turn to flush, an elegant smile gracing his lips. Before long, the both of you were out of your sleeping clothes and back on top of one another. Your back was to the silken bed sheets, as Zhongli was on top of you lining his hard cock up with your eager pussy. Zhongli gave you one last look before slowly entering you inch by inch. To say he was huge would be an understatement, so he knew he had to take it slow with you so as to not hurt you in any way. Zhongli needed this to be a good experience with you, he would never forgive himself if he hurt you or made this unenjoyable in any way at all.

The noises you were making and the way your hands were clawing at his back reassured him that he was doing everything right so far, always stopping after pushing in a few inches to give you time to adjust. Without thinking, Zhongli's mouth just started moving as words spilled out.

“You’re doing so good for me my angel, you’re taking me so well. You’re too good for me.” With the praise spilling out of Zhongli’s mouth, you couldn’t help but unleash a flurry of loud moans, as he bottomed out. He stood still for a couple moments, making sure you were nice and comfortable, until he felt you trying to move against him; trying to get him to move in and out of you.

“If you were ready for me to move, all you needed to do was ask my gem.” You let out a whine like moan, that evolved into a guttural groan when he finally started to thrust in and out of you. Your nails raked across his skin, surely leaving marks for you to admire after this was all said and done. He wasn’t skipping out on the marks either, as he sucked and bit at your skin, still throwing out praise every time his mouth left your skin. His fingers dug into your hips, as he sped up. He just couldn’t help himself, your wet quivering pussy just felt way too good wrapped around him; sucking him in every time he pulled out.

“I can’t believe it took us getting into an arranged marriage to finally meet, my god where have you been all my life.” Zhongli had begun to groan, obviously getting close to tipping over the edge, with the way his thrusts continued to get sloppier every so often. You moaned in response, too blissed out of your mind to form actual words. Zhongli’s head fell against your shoulder, his ebony black hair hanging off his shoulders.

With a few more strokes, Zhongli had both of you tumbling over the edge and cumming in unison. All that could be heard in your room was the quiet crashing of waves and the combined panting of the both of you. After a few moments of Zhongli getting his breath back he tumbled down next to you, sweaty shoulders touching. A couple seconds of silence passed before you spoke up in a raspy broken voice.

“It took us so long because I’m technically your rival.” You were giggling slightly, when Zhongli let out a loud chuckle.

“I guess you are right my dear, but now we are joined together. And I cannot wait to see what comes of our joining.”

[idy-ll-ique]

A Day Well-Spent

Pairing: Mob Boss!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: It's like... fluff to the extreme

Warnings: mention of guns

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N has just moved to Brooklyn and doesn't know how things are there. Bucky Barnes runs things around Brooklyn but what happens when they meet? Will she run away or will she still shoot her shot?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Okay, first of all, THANK YOU FOR 500 FOLLOWERS I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH. also i think im obsessed with mob fics????? chile anyways so... enjoy!

---

"Ready to go, sweetie?"

"You know it, babe," Y/N grinned at her friend, Clarice. The two, on their way to work, had stopped by a coffee shop for their daily dose of caffeine. As they walked out of the café, Clarice turned to Y/N. "Finish your story! What did Brad say to you after that?!" Clarice reminded her and Y/N giggled.

"Oh, he was just too sweet! But not my type, ya know what I mean? I didn't know how to turn him down," she sighed. "Poor guy. If he had approached me…" Y/N lightly shoved her friend. "I have his number, should I pass it on?" Clarice turned to Y/N, wide eyed. "Darling, you're too good to me," she spoke with a strong Brooklyn accent.

Y/N burst out laughing. She had moved from another part of the country to Brooklyn for education; along with attending college, she was also working as a waitress at a nice little restaurant. That was how she met Clarice, her being another waitress at said restaurant. The two became fast friends.

Clarice was a few years older than Y/N, a single mother with a 4 year old son. Her son was extremely cute. As Y/N continued laughing, she didn't notice how her friend stopped in her tracks. Clarice was busy staring at the huge hunk of a man a few feet ahead of Y/N, standing in the middle of the pavement with his phone held to his ear, his back to them.

Bucky Barnes.

That man was James Buchanan Barnes, the King of Brooklyn. He ran the whole damn city along with his mob; very important and influential. On top of that? He was hot-headed, easily got angry and people knew what happened when he got angry. Except Y/N. Y/N didn't even know who he was.

As Y/N neared Bucky, still laughing for some reason, Clarice thought of calling out to her. And alert him of their presence? No way! "Clarice, you know I love it when you do your acc—" All of a sudden, Y/N collided into a soft wall, spilling her coffee all over it. Opening her eyes, she found out that it was no wall; instead, she had collided straight into a person.

And drenched his back with coffee.

He was wearing what looked like a very expensive suit and Y/N immediately felt guilty. "Oh my goodness, I'm so fucking sorry!" she blurted out as Bucky pulled the phone away from his ear, turning to look at her. His men, who were loitering around, had her surrounded as they pointed their guns at her. But she didn't notice.

She was busy staring at Bucky, her jaw slightly dropped. Hot damn, he is good looking, she thought to herself. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that she snapped out of a daydream. He had a stern expression on his face and she realized she messed up. He's someone important. Then she started apologizing profusely.

Bucky simply stared at her, taking in her features as he gave her a once-over. She's new, he realized, not from Brooklyn. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," he chuckled and she immediately shut up, offering him a timid smile. "I really am sorry, I feel like a total ass. That suit looks expensive, sir, is there any way I can help? Maybe pay for dry cleaning?"

"Do you know who I am?" he instead asked and her brows furrowed. "Oh Lord, am I supposed to know?! One mess up after another…" she grumbled and Bucky couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry. My name is Bucky Barnes, you may call me Bucky." At this point, even his men were surprised, lowering their guns.

Clarice was still standing there and one of the men caught her eye. He nodded his head towards Y/N and Clarice gave him an unsure smile. He sauntered over to her. "She's with you?" he asked and Clarice groaned, dropping her head. "She's new to Brooklyn, and has no idea who he is. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience."

The man smiled at her. "No worries, looks like the boss isn't gonna hurt her. I'm Sam, by the way." Clarice gave him a shy smile. Sam was also very good-looking. "I'm Clarice, nice to meet you." Better to remain on the good side of the mob. Back to Y/N and Bucky… "Bucky, that's a good name. Short for anything?"

He ran a hand through his hair, grinning. It had been years, years since someone outside of the mob had spoken to him so freely and without fear. It felt nice and refreshing, even more so because Y/N was super gorgeous. "James Buchanan Barnes." Y/N couldn't help but laugh. "Named after a president, huh?"

"You making fun of my name now, doll?" he smirked slyly. "Oh no no, I wouldn't dare," she flirted easily, "My name is Y/N. I still feel bad about ruining your suit, you won't even take the money…" Bucky waved her off. "First, Y/N is a wonderful name. Second, you don't need to worry your pretty head over me, this suit can easily be replaced."

"Then how about this? A coffee. My treat. It'll make me feel better," she insisted. Bucky raised a quick brow, thinking that he would be the one to ask her out but oh well, this works too. "Let's call it a date, shall we?" he purred, taking a step closer to her. She didn't back off. "If you'd like," she grinned up at him.

He couldn't help but grin back. "Excellent. Then how about you put your number in my phone and I pick you up next Sunday at 7 pm?" He thrust his phone into her hand and Y/N swore she heard someone gasping in the background. Bucky Barnes was a very private person but here he was now; handing his phone to a stranger.

She quickly put her number in his phone and handed it back, smiling. "I'll await your call." He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to go now, so I'll see you later. Say hello to your friend from my side. Sam! Stop flirting, man, we gotta go!" Y/N looked over her shoulder to see his friend flirting with Clarice.

She laughed and turned back to Bucky, who was already looking at her with a goofy grin on his face. "I'll see you next Sunday, Mr Barnes. Again, sorry for the suit!" He waved his arm in dismissal and got into the car, throwing her one last blowing kiss before zooming off. Y/N walked back to Clarice, who was staring at her, jaw dropped.

"I know the hell you didn't just do that."

"Did I do something wrong?" Y/N frowned. Then, all of a sudden, a wide grin bloomed on Clarice's face. "Do you even know who you're going to go on a date with next Sunday?!" Y/N blinked. "Is he someone important?" Clarice made a sound of indignation. "Important? Bitch, he's the Kingpin! The King of Brooklyn! A mob boss!"

Y/N's eyes went wide. "No way," she scoffed. "Yes way! Ask anyone! He runs things around here, babe. It was fun to see him all soft, though, he's kinda hot-headed and hard to impress. Even women stay away from him. And now you two are going on a date?! If this relationship does not end in a marriage I'm suing."

Y/N flushed slightly and punched Clarice on the shoulder. "Clair, we haven't even gone on one date." Clarice shrugged. "A girl can dream. Oh, your children will be the most beautiful! Did you see his right hand man, though?! Mamma mia! Said his name was Sam Wilson, I got his number!" The two reached their workplace.

Inside Bucky's car, he was still smiling, lost in thoughts. "So, that chick, huh," Sam spoke devilishly from the driver's seat. Bucky looked at him. "That's no way to talk about the future Mrs Barnes," he admonished and Sam chortled. "Dude, you haven't been on even one date! Slow down, chicks don't like dudes who plan out a marriage on the first date."

"But I know I'm right, so why shouldn't I plan?" Bucky shrugged. He was more than confident that Y/N was going to become his in the future. The way she looked at him, spoke to him, flirted with him… it was enough for him to become smitten with her at the first glance. "What about you and her friend, huh?"

It was Sam's turn to become flustered. "Clarice Light. Has a 4-year old son, Aaron." Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "A mother. Well-maintained looks," he commented, laughing when Sam punched him on the shoulder. "Why don't you think about your own chick and leave mine alone?"

---

Y/N frantically smoothed out her dress, checking herself in the mirror. She wore a beautiful, nude coloured bandage dress that reached mid-thigh, along with similar coloured heels. Bucky was coming to pick her up in 5 minutes. Even after finding out who he was she didn't back away, instead finding it empowering that the most important man in Brooklyn wanted to take her out on a date.

All of a sudden the bell rang, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts. The first thing she saw upon opening the door was a huge bouquet of red roses right in front of someone's face. He then moved the bouquet to reveal his face and Y/N smiled broadly. "Bucky!" He grinned back at her. "Hi, doll! Here, an extraordinary bouquet for an equally extraordinary woman."

"You're too flattering. These roses smell amazing, thank you so much." She took the bouquet from his hands and kept it away, stepping out of the house. Bucky offered her his hand and she took it, allowing him to lead her out of the building and towards an audacious, ridiculously expensive looking car.

"Everything about you is lavish, huh?" she teased as he ushered her into the passenger seat, sitting next to her. "Bad to have a taste for the finer things in life?" he teased right back, placing his hand on her thigh as the other gripped the steering wheel. "No, I mean, you are the Kingpin. I should expect luxury."

He glanced at her to see her grinning at him. "You found out?" She nodded. "Yup, Clarice told me as soon as you left. I don't mind though, I'm just wondering… why me?" He laughed. "Why you? Sweetheart, you are the first person aside from Sam who has talked to me so freely since… since I was 18. And you're gorgeous. So why not?"

"Again, with the flattery…"

"Just stating facts, my dear."

"Also, my friend has a crush on Sam, so do tell him to ask her out." Bucky laughed harder. It had been years since he'd enjoyed himself so much. "Really? He has a crush on her too! I guess I'll tell him tomorrow." Y/N looked out of the window. "Where are we going?" Bucky gently squeezed her thigh. It was clear he wasn't taking her to a café, like originally planned.

"A picnic in the park." Y/N's eyes lit up. "I love picnics!" she squealed. "Then I guess I made a good choice," Bucky chortled along. The two soon reached the park and Bucky got out of the car first, holding the door open for Y/N to step out. "A gentleman," she noted, making him grin. He then took out the picnic basket from the backseat.

Y/N laid out the classic pink and white checkered blanket that he had brought along, taking off her heels before sitting down. "Ugh, I'd have worn pants if I knew I was going to be sitting on the ground," she groaned as she somehow sat down, adjusting her dress.

"You look gorgeous in that dress though," Bucky commented, "But you don't need to worry about public indecency because it's just you and me in the park." Y/N blinked at him as he sat down, opening the basket and taking out food. "Just us? You booked the whole park?" Bucky smirked at her. "It's easy when you run things around here."

Y/N fondly shook her head. "So much effort." He winked at her. "All for you, doll, all for you." The two maintained a chat as they ate. "So, you're new here. Why did you move to Brooklyn?" Bucky asked her. "Education. I go to [Name] college, actually, and work part-time as a waitress for some additional income," she hummed. He nodded thoughtfully.

"What about you? Is the mob a family business or a start-up?" Bucky smiled at her boldness. "Family business, my dad used to run it before me. I was 16 when I took over." Y/N realized what must've happened and gave him a sad smile. "I'm sorry for your loss." Bucky returned the smile. "It's fine, he was no saint."

"No?"

"Yup, hated him actually. Used to be cruel to my mom, to me too… until he got shot. Best day of my life." Y/N gasped quietly. "Bucky! He was your father!" Bucky chuckled mercilessly. "An asshole is what he was. Geez, speaking of, my mom is gonna be so happy."

"What's her name?" Y/N took a bite of her sandwich. "Winifred. She's awesome, raised me and my sister alone, ya know? Dad was always too busy. My mom will like you, I can tell. And so will my sister." Y/N smiled at that. "A sister?" He nodded, excited to talk about his family.

"Rebecca Barnes. She's a few years younger than me, maybe your age. She goes to your college too." Y/N suddenly squealed. "You mean to tell me my best friend from college is your sister? Rebecca Barnes?!" Bucky smiled so wide he thought his cheeks were gonna tear. "You've met her?" Y/N vehemently nodded.

"She's really great, the only person kind enough to introduce herself on the first day I moved in. She was the one who showed me around campus and I found out that she mostly spent time alone because no one wanted to talk to her, her brother being involved with the bad side of law or something. But I didn't care. I still don't. She's awesome, you're awesome."

Bucky felt himself tear up at her words. "Doll, you have no idea how much that means to me." Y/N grinned at him, scooting sideways so she could lay her head on his shoulder. "I'm serious, you know. I can't wait to tell her about this." Bucky laughed in a watery tone, pressing his lips to her temple.

The two quietly ate after that. When the food was over both of them lay down on the blanket, looking up at the starry sky. "It's so beautiful," Y/N whispered, cuddling into Bucky's side as she stared at the gibbous moon. Bucky wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

"It's nothing compared to you."

Y/N laughed quietly and looked up, the same time he looked down. They met each other halfway; their lips connecting softly yet eagerly. Lost in the kiss Bucky sat up, pulling Y/N on his lap as they continued making out. Finally, after what felt like hours did they pull away, breathless. They said nothing; Bucky looked at her as if she hung the moon.

Y/N stared at him as if he were the only thing in the world. "So, when will I get a second date?" she broke the silence, leaning down to press her forehead to his. "Oh, doll, you're not getting rid of me any time soon," he shot back, laughing. Y/N giggled along and stood up.

Both of them packed their things and got into the car, Bucky offering to drive her home since it was late. So I guess it had been hours. As Bucky drove, Y/N's phone chimed. He glanced at her when she laughed. "What's so funny?" Y/N wheezed before answering.

"I've got two texts. One from Becca and one from Clarice."

Bucky couldn't stop his chuckle. "What did Becca say?" Y/N read out, "Girl, just heard you're on a date with my bro? And I— I swear if you don't become my sister in law, I'm suing." Laughter filled the car. "She really said that?" Y/N nodded. "Yup! Even Clarice, on the day we met, said the same thing! It's nuts. We just met and they're already planning a wedding."

"Speaking of, what was Clarice's message?"

"Oh nothing, just that she got back home from a date with Sam a few minutes ago."

"What?!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"That asshole had work today!"

"Bucky!"

All in all, it was a day well-spent.

---

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a like if you enjoyed!

[yumefuusen]

IKEA Puns (part 1)

I don't know why am I doing this but here we are. My first TMNT fanfiction ever. Hope you like it!

Summary: you are now at the biggest Scandinavian home furnishing retail, IKEA. You're chatting with your four awesome friends, asking for what furniture you have to buy since you don't know anything about it. Leo, Raph, Donnie and Mikey are helping you about some products but Mikey started something unpredictable...

As a disclaimer, I don't own anything. IKEA, TMNT, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, even the pictures and GIFs I'm using here. Everything has its owner respectfully. I just borrow them for my silly creation and hopefully they're not come at me (yeah, hopefully...)

Format: group chat

Characters: Bayverse Turtles and Fem!Reader

⚠️ Warning: foul languages, not-so-funny memes and GIFs, picture of IKEA products (got it from their website) ⚠️

Inspired by Canadian duo "The Pun Guys"

👀✨

Y/N: Guys

Y/N: I'm at IKEA now

Y/N: I have to buy some home deco or furnitures for my apartment

Y/N: Can you guys help me?

BlueEyedGuy: Sure, Y/N. What kind of home deco you need to buy?

Y/N: Uh...

Y/N: Here's my list: a floor lamp, a desk lamp, some cushion covers, a desk for my working station, a rug, and maybe some indoor plants

MisterDon: Okay. You can send us some pictures and we will tell you if this suits you or not

Y/N: Thanks, Donnie!

*you sent a sticker*

CrimsonRaph: But why us?

Y/N: Because I'm suck at this thing.

Y/N: I don't have any taste into such item. Please remember that.

MikeMikey: Y/N, do you mind buying us some food after this? Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, maybe?

*MikeMikey sent a sticker*

CrimsonRaph: MIKEY, NO

Y/N: Well, that's ok Raph

Y/N: I can consider that

Y/N: But, if you help me choose 'em.

MikeMikey: I'll be honored to join the force, ma'am!

*MikeMikey sent a sticker*

🛍🛒

Y/N: YO

*you sent a photo*

*BlueEyedGuy MisterDon MikeMikey liked this photo*

MikeMikey: Wow, that's a big-ass grocery store!

CrimsonRaph: That's not a grocery store, you idiot!

MikeMikey: Idk man that looks like a grocery store to me!

MikeMikey: Or I can say, supermarket?

BlueEyedGuy: Hey, stop it both of you. Y/N, let's check again your bucket list

Y/N: Oh yeah, let's see my list

Y/N: First, I have to go to living room corner to see if we can find a nice lamp floor

MisterDon: And don't forget to send us some picture

MisterDon: Since you're terrible at this

Y/N: DUDE, THATS HURT YA KNOW?

MisterDon: Sorry! But you said that before!

MisterDon: Even you're bad at mix and match your own outfit

MisterDon: Sometimes...

Y/N: Fair point, Donnie

Y/N: Okay, let's check this out

🛍🛒

Y/N: Found these lamps

*you sent 2 pictures*

*CrimsonRaph liked this*

Y/N: Wdyt? Good, huh?

MikeMikey: Girl, don't buy the right one because it's not sturdy enough. Surely it'll screw up your life

Y/N: Huh? 😳

Y/N: What does that mean?

MisterDon: Oh yeah, here we come

BlueEyedGuy: Mikey, don't you dare

MikeMikey: I suggest you to buy the left one because Christmas is ahead

CrimsonRaph: IT'S STILL FUCKING MARCH, YOU DIMWIT

Y/N: Okay, okay! I got it!

Y/N: The left one

Y/N: Thanks, Mikey!

*you sent a sticker*

Y/N: Also, didn't know you're good at puns!

Y/N: Who taught you? Master Splinter?

MikeMikey: You know, Y/N?

*MikeMikey sent a 2 pictures*

MikeMikey: When there is a will, there's a way

*CrimsonRaph dislike this*

CrimsonRaph: Mikey!

CrimsonRaph: STOP YOUR DAMN PUNS RN!

CrimsonRaph: ITS FUCKING ANNOYING!

MikeMikey: Dude wth?

MikeMikey: Y U LYS so mad @ me?

MikeMikey: I don't understand

*you sent a GIF*

Y/N: Im literally wheezing now

Y/N: And ppl are staring at me

Y/N: Also, what the fuck is LYS? Always?

MikeMikey: Uh-huh. Do you like it?

Y/N: That's so dumb but I like it

Y/N: Still wheezing tho

BlueEyedGuy: Mikey, you better stop

MisterDon: Yeah, Mikey. Just let her focus on her objective!

MikeMikey: Whoops, sorry guys!

MikeMikey: Can't help it!

Y/N: Hmmmphkay. Let's go to the next one

CrimsonRaph: I'll kick your ass after this, Mikey

CrimsonRaph: Ya better watch

MikeMikey: Try me

🛍🛒🏃‍♀️💨💨

Okay, that's the end of the part one, guys. I'm sorry for bad grammar, English is not my native language. It's my first time writing a story and I'm not confident with my English. How embarrassing!

Also, tumblr limits everyone to upload images for maximum 10 pictures only in one post. Dang it.

Can you guess what will happen to this group chat? Chaos, maybe.

Stay tuned for the next part!

@chicchanmooshy @doctorelleth @whispers0fgreen @thelaundrybitch @mutant-lair @lady-maria-the-wolf225 @turtle-babe83 @mysticboombox @leosgirl82 @donniesdove @roxosupreme @exovapor and people who want to be tagged but I don't know your blog name...

[frightgothcar]

2 :)

On the inside im always thinking about random and weirdly specific gray ghost au

[shotorozu]

hellooo i saw this tiktok video and was wondering if you can please do this for shoto kaminari and bakugou

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJkeaV68/

‘i got a big fat 😳🎂’

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack (x reader)

note(s) : LMAO ANON YOU LITERALLY READ MY MIND?? I WAS GOING TO DO THIS EVEN WITHOUT A REQUEST— great to know that i have the same thinking process with you 🤩

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

noooow

you know shouto’s always willing to do tiktok challenges with you— he might be clueless when it came to social media (because of end**vor)

but! he’s gotten used to your antics most of them anyway

but he’s sort of confused when you show him a video of a couple uh.. walking?? he can’t tell what they’re doing exactly

“what,, are they doing?” is what he asked when you showed him the tiktok, brows furrowed in confusion

“they’re uh.. kekeing how do i explain it— nevermind that! just do whatever i do, shouto!”

he’s still confused as hell 🧍‍♀️ but he decides to not ask any questions, and push through with it, just by seeing the excited look on your face

and the audio 😳 i mean, it’s not,, wrong. to him, your cake is some fine ass cake :))

you lead him out of the frame, and you hit play— not giving shouto time to ‘rehearse’

it might seem to be that shouto has no reaction to the audio, but if you look closely— the corners of his lips are tugged upwards slightly

and he follows your every command, when you gesture for him to copy you.

now, shouto’s got the dance steps down, but man’s terribly stiff 😭 he also kept looking at you (specifically your ass) to see if he was doing things correctly

afterwards, the two of you take a look at the video. and, he asks you if the tiktok needs to be filmed once again by your silent reaction

but he’s appalled when he sees you literally driven to tears from pure, unfiltered laughter

you assure him with a kiss that you’re fine, and insist that the tiktok is fine as you upload it— and you cuddle with shouto for the rest of the day, letting the tiktok marinate

the next day comes by, and tiktok BLEW UP. like.. blew up, really. they should be honored that they’ve witnessed shouto strut to nicki minaj

the comments being well, absolutely hilarious. you could read through the comments again and again, and not be bored

“mann your boyfriend 😭 he’s staring too hard” “YUHH GET IT, I GUESS” “go hot couple go ‼️”

needless to say, he didn’t hear the end of the conversation when bakugou found out about the tiktok

kaminari denki

if denki had a list of tiktok challenges he desperately wanted to do at some point in his life,

this would be in the top 3, for sure

so, luck seemed to be on his side when you approached him first— wanting to rope him in on another tiktok you wanted to do with him

hopefully one that doesn’t center him as the poor unfortunate victim

“you wanna do another tiktok?” he beams when you nod, and when you show him what the prank is— he’s excited!!

you can clearly tell that it didn’t take that much convincing

the blond’s also thankful that it’s not another tiktok that needs him to ask bakugou if he can say pegasus but without the pega 💀

“alright! tell me when we can do it,”

“right now.”

so here he is, standing beside you, as you set up your phone— absolutely confident on what he’s going to do

the tiktok starts running, and denki might’ve underestimated his eagerness, when the camera captures his eager expression 💀

there was no jumpscare warning

and you didn’t even have to say ‘c’mon‼️’ for him to follow your movements. as soon as you turned your back, he started moving along with you, and the music.

he was watching your movements, and he tried copying them to the best of his sloppy, hyper and exaggerated abilities

denki was so excited about being in the tiktok, to the point he literally crashed behind you— making the both of you tumble to the floor, laughing

and the tiktok’s results are pretty much unknown to him— minus the fact that you laughed HARDER when you re-watched the tiktok

“can i see?” he asks eagerly, but you swiftly reject— shoving his head away from your screen with a hand.

he pouts when you say “the results are a surprise!” a bummer, but he chooses to trust you, and the rest of the day is spent on the floor in pure enjoyment

you upload the tiktok and slowly but surely, it attracts people’s attention

because of denki’s eagerness— he,, did a fantastic job with the walk! you can even say that he did better than you, minus the not so graceful fall

even the comments agree with you “MAN HIS CAKE IS THANGING‼️” “he did awfully well omg 💀” “oh to have this relationship’s energy 😔 when can i find a dude like that?”

and when denki finally sees the tiktok’s results, he’s left in tears from laughing— reduced into wheezes

DANK-i : BABE WHDJWKDKE THE TIKTOK YOU JUST POSTED— 😭💀💀 IM IN TEARS

safe to say, his wish has been fulfilled, and he can pass away at any given moment, satisfied.

bakugou katsuki

bakugou katsuki will never admit that he does enjoy doing tiktoks with you

plot twist : he enjoys it a lot more than he expects

but he knows where the draw the line, and the line was at the new tiktok you’ve showed to him

“no.”

“but—”

“fuck no— if you wanted to twerk infront of a camera, go ahead by all means, just don’t rope me into it.”

he does have his reasons. one— the bakusquad will make fun of him, and two— if the tiktok were to blow up,, he wouldn’t live it down.

and it always does— he knows that tiktoks do particularly well if he makes an appearance.

“if i didn’t post it, would you do it with me?”

but katsuki seemed to be fine with that. with a roll of the eyes, he sighs— looking at the tiktok once again. he gets up from his seat when the tiktok’s over

“let’s do this fucking thing.” he says with determination, even though no one was going to see the tiktok anyway or so he thinks

the tiktok’s video timer starts counting down, giving the both of you guys ample time to get into position

a smirk couldn’t be held back when you state that “i have a big phat 🎂” it’s anything but lies, and it would be the only time katsuki would smile on camera

you go forward, and you gesture for him to follow on beat— with a focused glare, katsuki starts strutting with you like no one’s business

it’s at a slow pace, and people would’ve guessed that he had a stick up his ass, sure— but damn‼️ he has those moves.

and before the video actually ends, he’s seen turning around with a glare— to see if the camera’s not filming it’s still running, and the camera captures his expression

“not bad.” he can’t help but smirk at the results, when you replay the video “i’m referring to the both of us. and, didn’t know you could move like that.”

“katsuki, your pace was like a grandfather’s—”

“shut the hell up!”

but little did katsuki know, when he wasn’t looking, you published the tiktok online, for everyone to view (basically, 3M people have seen him strut to nicki minaj)

the comments were having a blast “we’ll disregard the pace, buT DAMN‼️WHERE DID HE GET THOSE MOVES?” “LOL HIS FACE AT THE END WAS LIKE👹🤨” “y’all catch that at the beginning? woooh he’s lovesick.”

when you woke up the next morning— you can hear the boom of his quirk outside of your room, and you can practically hear his not so happy voice

fly high 😔🕊 you will be missed

»»————-　♡　————-««

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i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[winderlylandchime]

2/3 And now they mentioned how they didnt talk about their sexuality for s1 ‘ohh that’s actually dope. He knew if people knew he was straight nobody would talk about the show. Damn, i like him even more now.. OH PETER IS SHADY! I LIKE HIM. He is my best chance at getting behind the scenes dirt. Tell me baby, who is to blame for the finale? And the proposal..and the..you know what let me be quiet’ Gale was taking about how Scott and him didnt wanna say there was straight and he paused it and went ‘wait…what about that Hal guy? I know he’s straight but did he also keep it a secret or was he like ME?GAY?NEVER..I actually didnt even realize he’s not here, i wonder what he’s like in interviews’ Peter at one point mentioned how he enjoyed having a relationship with the writers to discuss storylines and he goes ‘but did they really? Or was it selective? Cause I can’t see my Blondie liking not being in the final scene.. or the Pink Pussy stuff.. And don’t get me started on Brian in the last season. I know that I just kinda met my man like a few hours ago but there is no way he agreed with them about Brian in season 5 so who’s lying’ While they’re discussing Emmett and they kinda compare him to Brian, he just points to the screen and yells ‘THEY ARE THE SAME! and yet god forbid to make them frie-*camera zooms out and he sees Gale better* look at that pretty man just sitting over there…what was I saying?’ ‘They had sex meetings? That’s actually fucking impressive. Lowkey ahead of the time. Okay what are those three constantly talking about and doing? I would also like to be part of it. they keep laughing and talking. *he is pointing at Peter/Gale/Randy talking while Ron is talking*..and by the looks of it Ben dude is also third wheeling like me’ ‘Whenever one of these two old dudes speaks, Gale’s face looks like he’s waiting for the moment that he gets to go ummm actually you’re wrong’ ‘okay I REALLY like Peter. It’s like he’s there to humble them and entertain Gale and Blondie. i mean cmon, any time he picks up a mic, Gale starts to laugh. MAKE ME PART OF THE GROUP PLEASE’ Peter is talking about the locker room scene where he calls Michael a dick: ‘IM GLAD WE ALL FUCKING AGREE! I FEEL SEEN! Representation matters!…why did he make sure to say michael not hal? Is that guy annoying? Was he method’ And then Peter asks Ron about coming to set naked and he burst out laughing and goes ‘i want all the behind the scenes scoop and I want to go back in time and work on that show they look like they had fun..*looks at me all suspicious* who hated who? Actually nevermind, youre not trusted anymore after lying to me about him being gay’ (i never said Gale was gay btw) Ron mentioned about how Gale asked them to cut something: ‘PAUSE! What? Wait Gale asked them to cut something because it was too much? What could be too much? They did everything? What the fuck did they make them do?! *looks at me all worried* SPEAK LESBIAN SPEAK!…okay im calmed down..can you please tell me what scene they cut? (I look at him like hes stupid cause how the fuck can i know that) wow, you really don’t know anything important, do you?’ ‘they FIRED the designer? Damn, why wasnt social media a thing?! Imagine them making a fucking tiktok video dancing to Britney Spears..(dan asks peter for the designers name) he knows everyone from years ago. But i feel like he remembered her out of pettiness. THEY GLUED FABRIC TO THEIR DICKS?! Aint no way. Oh Gale was for sure bald down there for a whole year..that man was fucking every episode’ ‘look at Randy laughing at Gale. I just know he bullied him for fun at times. I am asking once again, please tell me there’s more videos of them together. Young, old, i dont care just GIMME IT’ The host mentioned Prom and asked how was it to film it and Dan reached for water and he yelled ’HANDS OFF THE MICROPHONE GRANDPA! This isnt about you’ right after that Randy says it was really fun for him and he goes ‘top 5 things i didnt fucking expect to hear today..this is right after Gale being straight’

Your brother is hilarious talking about Hal. I think everyone knew he was straight because of his “fame” before QAF.

Emmett and Brian would be friends and the writers just fucked up. I will die on this hill. I WANT to be a part of this group too. You just know that Gale Peter and Randy are on a group text thread to this day.

Yeah the BTS of prom is so fun! Everyone taking turns hitting Randy with the nerf bat.

I am loving all this commentary!