#like carlos said ‘there’s lap times in feeling wanted and supported by the team’

[stickybowl]

Welp kinda late but at first I was a charlos girlie (tho im biased towards carlos), but trust that I tried to gave leclerc chances but spain was it for me.

Like i dont buy that pr shits anymore and every post i look with suspicion. Over the past weeks, it’s been better but after last vegas? Yea no more. Idk how Carlos deals with it, if it was me sock his french face, but Carlos is a bigger person than me so.

Every lecfosis bringing up the move to williams, yea im fucking happy he’s leaving that cursed red team who wants their drivers to become fucking dogs, a teammate that has the ego of a fucking pseudo god, and a toxic fanbase, whom they always regard as ‘passionate’.

Just wanna get it off my chest cause this last triple header is a piece of work already. And really over a P2? Girl. He’s acting like he won’t also do this when he is given the chance, hypocrite.

Well. call me a freak but i never really liked charles even before the Spain thing except only when hes with carlos i will admit theyre fun to watch (off track) but spain def left a bitter taste in my mouth but i was able to move on bc “toxic yaoi yay its fine” but this is getting too tiring to watch atp😭 what i dont like about both spain and las vegas is charles is lashing out for something so minuscule they both werent fighting for the win, they werent the fastest for both races and YET! he was bitching about carlos to everyone

i want to give charles some benefit of the doubt that he’s just mad for how the race went (both in spain and las vegas) and the closest he can find to blame at that moment is carlos but as a carlos fan i don’t enjoy seeing carlos become the punching bag of charles’ fans

how he acts and speaks about carlos gives lecfosis the validation and permission to hate on carlos so yeah i dont think i will be missing too much of charlos after all

[maxillness]

╰┈➤This Fkn Bratty Attitude || MV33 x Team Principal!Reader

Warnings: 18+, oral (m), handjob, sub!max, age gap (not specified), mommy kink, choking, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (m), snowballing,

Wordcount: 1.8k

Request: my request would be for Sub Max verstappen, in which y/n is the team leader at redbull and they have had a secret relationship for a while, and in a race Max's car breaks down and he shouts at his employees, including his boss his (y/n). She doesn't like his bratty attitude and teaches him a lesson. (If it's not a bother, could it include mommy kink?)

What they were doing wasn’t my exactly wrong, but if it came out that the 3 times world champion was screwing his team principal, there probably wouldn’t be much of his ego left

Not only because it would seem like she favoured Max over Checo, but also for their age gap

“Get cleaned up and get changed” She said, feeling his limp body against hers as he was coming down from the orgasm he had gotten from riding her thigh

“P-please, need one more. Please, mommy. Please” He pleaded, trying to roll his hips, but her tight grip on him prevented him to do so

“We don’t have time for that, baby. You need to be on the track in a few minutes. Wouldn’t want you to miss it, no?” She said, kissing the top of his head softly

“Mommy… Please” She loved his begging. He knew she couldn’t stand it, but they really didn’t have the time for it

“Get cleaned up, and get your suit on. Got it?” She said sternly, pushing him off of her and down to the couch a little more roughly than she had actually intended

She heard his low whimper before she closed the door and walked to the pit wall. She looked down to her thigh as she sat down. Thank god, she thought as there was no stain on her jeans from Max’ cum

She cursed under her breath as Max crashed early on the race. 12 laps, that was it. That’s what he managed before his breaks broke and was sent into the wall

“Max, are you okay?” She asked him through the radio. She heard no reply “Max?” She tried again

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. The car’s not though” His voice was annoyed, tinted with something you could describe as anger

“Fuck the car, Max. As long as you’re okay” She sighed, leaning back into her chair afterwards

With GP no longer needed at the pit wall, he went into the garage to console Max as he came back

She turned her head backwards as she heard yelling coming from behind her. Max was yelling at the engineers, mechanics and even GP

She took off her headphones and walked to the garage, wanting to see what the fuck is going on

“This is all your fault! This wouldn’t have happened if you just did your work right for once!” That was the first thing she heard as she stepped a foot into the garage

Max had now turned to her “This is your fault as well. You’re the one who hired this shit crew” He took a few steps closer to her, looking at her with determination and anger in his eyes

“This is not any of our faults” She said calmly, crossing her arms over her chest “It was a mechanical issue that none of us could prevent” She shifted on her feet

“How dare you stand there and pretend we haven’t just lost the race entirely?!” He almost yelled again

“Checo is still out there. We haven’t lost yet. Now, if you don’t want to support your teammate, go into your drivers room, shut the fuck up, and cool down” He didn’t hesitate before he turned around and walked into his drivers room

She shook her head slightly as she walked back to the pit wall “Y/N, is Max okay?” She heard Checo ask the second she had gotten the headphones back on

“Yeah. Angry as fuck, but… He’s alright” She said to him, watching as he had now taken P1 with Carlos and Lando behind him

After the race was done, Checo a beautiful p1, she had walked to Max’ drivers room, knocking harshly on the door

Max opened up. Hair damp from his shower, sweats and a t-shirt

“What do you want?” He asked, taking a step back as he sighed

He turned her back towards her, taking a step towards the couch. She walked in, closing the door behind her before gripping the base of his neck, and slamming the front of his body against the door, making him hiss at the pain

“The fuck is your problem?” She asked harsh as her body was pressed up against his back

“The car is shit, and it’s your fault” He said, trying to push off the the door with his hands that was rested on either side of his chest, but his body was pushed further into the door by her own

He secretly loved the way she was holding him up against the door like that, but wouldn’t dare speak up about it, in case she would use it against him

“My fault?” She scoffed, putting her mouth as close to his ear as she could without making contact “Do I need to fuck this attitude out of you?” She whispered in a way she knew he got turned on by

He only answered with a whimper as he shut his eyes closed, biting his bottom lip softly, trying not to rut his hips backwards into hers

“Oh, you’d like that, huh? You’d like for me to fuck this bratty attitude out of you?” Her other hand that wasn’t my at his neck, went for the lock on the door, locking it before placing it on the dip of his hip

When he didn’t answer, she turned his body around roughly, slamming his back against the door, holding her hand around his throat softly

Both his hands went around her wrist, digging his nails into the flesh as he looked intensely into her eyes, seeing them blown wide, hiding the colour of them

“Answer me” She said sternly, pressing a little firmer against his throat, earning a choked breath from him

“Mhm. Fuck, yes, mommy. Please” He whined, bucking his hip to meet hers

“You have to be quiet though, there’s still people here, okay?” She asked, knowing damn well she’s had to make him quiet

“I was earlier, wasn’t I?” He smiled cheekily like he had won some prize

“Don’t get cocky” She said before removing her hand, earning her a whine from the man “Oh, you like that? Having my hand around your throat?” She chuckled, putting her hand around him again, pushing him back against the door

He whimpered at the way her hand closed slightly around him. Her other hand ran down his chest, landing on the waistband of his sweats

He closed his eyes, whimpering at the feeling of her hand down his body “Help me out, Max. My hand is occupied” She said, referring to his sweats

His hands from her wrist went to the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down along side his boxers so they rested at his knees

His hands went back to her wrist as she spit in her own, taking it around his cock, slowly starting to move

She could see that he tried so hard to hold his sounds in, but was unsuccessful when her thumb went over the slit, making him moan

“Thought I told you to be quiet” She said, leaning in close so her lips was ghosting his

“F-feels s’good” He whispered, his lips brushing against hers, earning her a whimper “P-please, kiss me. Please, mommy?”

“When you ask so nicely” She sped up her hand as she kissed him, making him moan which was muffled by her lips

She took the opportunity to shove her tongue into his mouth, exploring his mouth like she always did

He started bucking his hips up into her hand, not helping the moans that was muffled by the woman

“F-fuck. Mommy, please- can I come? P-please, ‘m s’close” He panted, keeping his sounds at bay

“If you come now instead of inside me, I’ll pull more out of you” She said, but it only encouraged him more

She scoffed as he bit his bottom lip hard, almost silently coming, his cum dripping from his cock down his shaft and onto her hand, some also on her arm and his shirt

She caught his body in her arms as he became limp. She held onto him, soothing his back with her hand, slowly guiding him over to the couch, going to her knees in front of him as she had gotten him down on the couch

“N-no, I can’t” He panted as he felt her pull his sweats and boxers all off his legs

“I warned you, baby” She said, spreading his legs, kissing up the insides of his thighs, feeling his muscles twitch at her touch and his breathing getting yet again quick as he started to get hard again

She looked up at him as she licked a thick stripe up his shaft. She slid her hands under his shirt and up to his waist, hiking the shirt up with her

He whimpered as her tongue went over his head. He gripped the material tight under him, looking down at her as she had started bopping her head

He moaned as her tongue pressed against a vein. She took one of her hands from his waist, and pushed two of her fingers into his mouth, pressing down on his tongue, making him gag, but stay quiet

He whimpered around her fingers, bucking his hips for her to go faster, but in the progress hitting her throat, making her pull slightly back, only leaving the tip on her tongue

She was just letting it rest there, doing nothing but look up at him through hooded eyes as he stilled his hips

“‘M sorry, mommy. Please. Need it” His words were muffled as she pressed further down on his tongue, making his head spiral

She hummed around him, sending him into euphoria as he came into her mouth. His body shook rapidly as she slowly rode his orgasm out

She got off of him when she could feel the overstimulation was getting too much

She stood up, knees hurting as hell. She towered over him, putting her hand on his jaw, making him open his eyes and look up at her

She pressed her lips firmly to his, pressing at his jaw for him to open. She opened her mouth as well, spilling his cum into his mouth, making him whimper

She pulled back, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed with a whine “Good boy. Get cleaned up and get back to the hotel” She said before leaving him half naked in his room

[dailydoseoflhs]

03: Request

It isn't like Lucille wanted to do this but she doesn't have a choice but to give in to the request of her dearest friend.

"Come and lets go watch the livestreaming Monza grand prix with me." Her dearest friend, Julia told her.

Lucille knew better, her friend was trying to set her up on a date with a fellow F1 fan.

"Fine but only if you buy the food and drink." She answered her friend with a teasing smile.

"Ugh fine!" Her friend has nothing to say or else Lucille would have backed out.

══════════════════════════════

withlove_lucille updated her story 3mins ago●

It was like a dream watching the Ferrari takes the pole and win a race in Italy.

It feel like she is one of the Tifosis in Monza right now, proudly singing the national anthem while waving the color of rosso corsa.

The feeling of 2019 Monza win just being back and repeated again. It was surreal.

Seeing Charles be so happy at the podium, spraying champagne at the crowd below and smiling ear to ear.

Lucille couldn't help but smile too seeing her favorite driver be so happy despite the tragic of his lovelife.

Indeed, he is the Il predestinato they call him.

Dragging that tractor car across the circuit around 53 laps, she applaud both Charles and Carlos for doing well.

It was a win not only to Charles and Ferrari but to the whole Italy and Ferrari fans.

EARLIER (at the middle of the race)

Lucille sits beside Julia in one of the barcade that hosts the livestreaming for Monza grand prix.

Both of the girls anxiously watch the race alongsidw with the fellow fans.

The fans wearing their team favorite merch while Lucille opts for a Ferrari jacket and Julia for a Ferrari cap.

Julia make herself feel like a supportive WAG making Lucille laugh but supports her best friend.

The last lap actions always gets everyone on the edge of their seats.

But

"The Tifosis are roaring him home! And for the second time in his career! Charles Leclerc is the winner of the Italian Grand Prix!"

The whole barcade shouts in joy and jump from their seat to celebrate a meaningful win for Ferrari and for Charles.

Lucille and Julia hugs each other, happy.

"He won!" Lucille said

"He did!" Julia answered

Proud is an understatement.

withlove_lucille

🎵 G-Eazy ft. Christopher Andersson • Tumblr Girls

Liked by hs_l, julia_pvrt, and 20 others

withlove_lucille kinda feeling like a WAG? Congrats on your win! @charles_leclerc

view all 9 comments

hs_l he won didn't he?

withlove_lucille of course he did!

ouou_g you should be a WAG🤔🤔

withlove_lucille you should be my stylist then

══════════════════════════════

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MASTERLIST || PREVIOUS || NEXT

Author's note

Sorry for the LATEEEEE update, deadlines are turning into DEADline. Anyways, I still haven't the issues with the tagging. So NO taglist YET.

🏎🆑️🏁❤️

[nicolesainz]

Win until you bleed (CL16)

Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: (my pure imagination of charles winning wdc) and a lot of fluff, maybe bad Italian and French translations

I’m so sorry if it’s short. I will repay you :)

“Verstappen’s right on his tail Crofty!” Martin Brundle exclaimed anxiously as we all saw the Red Bull going head to head with the Ferrari.

"There hasn't been a more intense battle for first place for god knows how long. So thrilling!"

Thrilling the viewers and fans say, but everyone at the Ferrari garage, including me, thought this was nail-bitting and extremely cut-throating.

I have witnessed the highs and lows of Charles. Whether from up close or from a small television. From karting victories, to European championships being lost and then being crowned as the F2 champion.

Dnf's and mistakes have come and gone during those six years in Formula one. I have seen him smile a lot, but also cry. Cheer and shout, but also angry and disappointed. A true emotional rollercoaster.

With only 3 laps to go, Max and Charles were separated by just 5 seconds and that gap needed to be kept alive, otherwise, the title battle would come to a disappointing end for Charles. He would have to see Max stand at the top of the podium again, with another championship under his belt.

"Come on Charles! Je t'aime trop pour te perdre" (I love you too much to lose you) I whispered softly, as I prayed for a positive result or for a miracle to happen.

I felt two bodies leaning beside me, only for them to be Isa's and Carlos's. Poor Carlos was unfortunate enough to suffer an engine blow. At the moment, he didn't care about himself. He only wanted Charles to win and bring to Ferrari, what would be the 16th Drivers Championship.

Championship number 16, for the driver carrying number 16.

"He will take it. I have no doubt" Isa tried to calm me down as much as she could. The couple knew how much Charles meant to me. Everyone knows me as his best friend and ultimate supporter, but that figured it out how my love for him, had altered into something bigger.

"Chiudete gli occhi e tra un minuto sarà incoronato campione del mondo." (Close your eyes and in a minute, he will be crowned world champion) Carlos uttered, equally anxious about his teammate, who was having the battle of his life out there.

"And last lap" Xavi, Chalres's race engineer said through the team radio.

Max had managed to close the gap to 3 seconds, inching closer to the car in front of him. To say that I didn't feel like throwing up my guts, would be an understatement. I always am scared whenever Chalres races but this time, I could barely open my eyes to watch the final lap, on the screen of the garage.

"Forza Charles! Puoi fare questo!" (Come on Charles. You can do this) the entire ferrari garage shouted as the last few corners were approaching

"This may be it everyone. Ferrari, after almost two decades, without being crowned champions, will give the Italians tonight, something to remember for a long long time to come" Crofty's voice echoed through my headset, sending a positive wave of energy.

"Y/N, open your eyes. This is it!" Isa and Carlos took my hands in theirs and held them very tight.

"After years of anticipation, the bells will ring again happily in the small village of Maranello. Tifosi, come out of your houses, take out your hats, flags, shirts and wave them. Because tonight, for the first time, after finishing six year in formula one and five years with ferrari, Charles Leclerc is finally, a world champion under the red!"

The screams of happiness almost shook down the garage. Tears of joy were running down my cheeks. The biggest smile was plastered on my face as I ran towards the fence and climbed it as high as possible, alongside with Carlos and the mechanics who were applauding pridefully.

"The fucker did it. He kept his promise and won! You should be proud. Because this, is just the beginning." The Spanish driver, who had managed to clinch P3 in the drivers championship, said whilst yelling for his friend and now world champion teammate.

"Molte congratulazioni Charles. Sei ufficialmente un campione del mondo, sotto il nome di Ferrari. Sei il nostro figliol prodigo. Grazie." (Many congratulations Charles. You are officially, a world champion, under the name of ferrari. You are our prodigal son. Thank you.) Fred said through the team radio, before Carlos asked him to say a few words as well

"Sono più che onorato di essere vostro compagno di squadra e amico. Oggi ci hai reso tutti molto orgogliosi. Che guida straordinaria! Sono senza parole. Goditi questo momento, perché ne stanno per arrivare molti altri. E non presentarti in ritardo sul podio, una donna speciale ti sta aspettando." (I am more than honoured to be your teammate and friend. You made us all very proud today. What an amazing drive! I am speechless. Enjoy this moment, because many more great ones are about to arrive. And don't show up late to the podium, a special lady is waiting for you.)

"Grazie a tutti per il duro lavoro svolto in questa stagione. Non posso essere più grato. Amo tantissimo questa squadra e spero di continuare a rendervi orgogliosi il più possibile. Carlos e Fred, grazie per avermi creduto e dato fiducia. Y/N, sei tutto ciò che potrei mai chiedere a una persona. Tutti vorrebbero averti al proprio fianco, ma anche se sembra meschino, sono felice che tu sia solo mia." (Thank you everyone for the hard work you have put this season. I can't be more grateful. I love this team so much and I hope to keep on making you proud for as much as possible. Carlos and Fred, thank you for believing and trusting me. Y/N, you are all I could ever ask for in a person. Everyone would want to have you by their side, but even if this sounds mean, I am happy that you are only mine.)

“Tu as fait de moi la femme la plus heureuse du monde. Cette nuit est à toi et le championnat aussi. Je suis immensément fier de ce que tu as accompli. Je t'aime plus que les mots ne peuvent le décrire.” (You made me the happiest woman in the world. This night is yours and so is the championship. I am immensely proud of what you have achieved. I love you more than words can describe.)

The view of the podium, is one sight for sore eyes. A true beauty. My best friend, the man I love, standing at the very top. Being crowned world champions means so much to Charles and to me. I get to see him be the happiest version of himself.

When Charles got off the podium, before being wrapped to anyone else’s hug, he ran towards me and fell into my arms.

I’ve never felt my heart pounding so fast. His heavy breathing on my neck gave me tingles, which caused butterflies to crawl into my stomach.

Suddenly, his hands were free so he hugged me back, tighter and sweeter than ever before. He was mumbling something that I couldn’t really understand.

“I have to tell you something, but please, don’t freak out” Charles looked me deeply in the eyes, as if he was about to say something groundbreaking

“You’re scaring me. Are you alright?” I am full of worry and anxiety runs all over my body

“It’s a proposal. I need to ask you a very serious question-“

“Charles if there’s anything I can-“ I don’t even manage to finish my phrase when he blurts out

“Would you want to be my girlfriend? Honestly, there’s no other person I’d like to share my life with more than you. I see you more often than my own siblings and it’s up to the point I call you my family. I love you in all the ways you could possibly think and my heart breaks at the single thought of not having you close to me”

I fought the urge to not jump on him and wrap my body around his so hard, but unfortunately failed. The night became even better than it already was.

“I’d love more than anything else to be your girlfriend. No matter the circumstance, I will always love you Charles. Seeing you smile is my source of happiness and I wouldn’t change it.”

That night, was one, I’d never forget in my life. Nor I ever intend to. It’s the euphoria that keeps me sane and his love that runs in my veins.

[yesloulou]

i cannot stop thinking about your gorgeous art for so close, we combust! i'm wondering if you can give us a little director's cut about it? like how you chose the images, anything that you want to share? it makes me want to launch myself into space and eat the moon like cheese.

em im so honored by this ask and i too want to eat the moon like cheese bc it sounds like a very fun activity ❤️‍🔥

soo basically the first pic was my inspo bc it was just so so SCWC (so close, we combust by @officialmood) coded. it had an imbalance to it. for starters we can only see max looking like he was about to explode from fondness while daniel had his back turned and we can't see his face. and like. everything was straightforward for max. the genuine affection for daniel came so easily to him. it was so transparent. but since they were hugging daniel had no idea max's face looked like that when he hugged him. and based on what we know about cool cocky nonchalant RB daniel, one is likely to assume daniel wasn't equally affected by it – and i think they would be right. that hug was at daniel's last race with red bull. there were walls of ppl lining up to congratulate him and send him off. and max was at the end of this line. by the time daniel got to him the impact of it would've been softened by all those that came before. it was like. daniel was saying goodbye to the whole team in one sitting and max was only saying goodbye to daniel. all the imbalances here really remind me of the first part SCWC, where daniel was aware of everything, yet more or less took it for granted, so used to being on the receiving end of max's attention and affection. SCWC daniel "didn’t know at the time that this would be the kind of memory he would turn over and over, trying to cut himself against the sharp part", canon daniel likely also underestimated how rare and precious it was to have the whole team (and max) adore and support him like that.

and it was all about to change. the hug (2nd gif) after AD 21 was a whole other dynamic. it was a much more reserved hug. there were so much complicated emotions that went into it: before daniel went up to max in parc ferme, he had just witnessed max overtake lewis during the final laps of the most dramatic recent f1 season to take his first world title. and since daniel had been lapped by both max and lewis, he literally had to watch it all unfold right in front of him, first hand. and now max, his old teammate, the reason he had to leave his team, the one he on some level saw as a younger sibling, the one ppl said he ran away from, was a world champion before him when that exact wdc dream had slipped further and further away from daniel, who in fact had just had the most bizarre season in his whole f1 career.

it was just a lot of complicated emotions for daniel at that point. i think it must've taken effort for him to feel happy for max at all, let along going up to him and congratulating him right then and there. but daniel did it anyway. and it was a painfully hasty hug imo esp compared to how it went with lando and carlos. it was even a lil awkward bc you can tell max had both of his arms up but daniel didn't plan on going in with a full hug. but still, he wanted to congratulate max and he did.

it wasn't a fun moment to recall as a daniel girlie but it also has such a nice echo with the second part of SCWC. they were hugging/hanging out like all those times they hugged/hung out before. but everything had changed. max looked like a whole different person now (both in scwc and irl in the gif set), and he became comfortable being in control. and for daniel, this time he was the one with all those emotions going into it. neither scwc pt. 2 daniel (in max's apartment) or 2021 canon daniel (in parc ferme) was all that comfortable, but they were both there anyway, looking for a shred of reality that vaguely resembles what he and max used to be, holding on to the hope that a part of them survived despite everything.

anyways, basically as soon as i had the first pic as inspo i decided that i wanted the second pic to also be one of their hugs but with a completely different dynamic, just like in pt1 and pt2 of scwc they were doing the same things (hanging out) completely differently. and then i just thought of that second hug. and with hugging being the subject there is also the sense of like, the closer they came, the more the reality sank in, that max had won before him, that all their conflicts had come to a boiling point, that the deal had been sealed. it's just like what the title says, came so close we combust.

idk if im making sense with everything here but hopefully this has been a fun read :) ty for this ask em and again ty liza for blessing us with SCWC!!!

[littlebitsmile]

in flames [C.L.] | Chapter VI

Welcome back to another week's madness. Things are finally a bit more confrontational between Emma and Charles - but don't worry, this is only the start.

Enjoy the off-race-weekend and have a wonderful week, see you next Sunday xx

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R VI ɞ────

"And it's lights out this weekend in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia!" I hear the presenter's voice from the TVs on the wall. I'm so angry that I storm through the pit lane into my driver's room without saying a word and slam the door behind me, paying little attention to "Bad luck, no worries, Emma!" from one of the mechanics in the garage.

After yesterday's qualifying, I had the opportunity to start from 5th place today. Everything felt the same as always - the lights went out and I put all my strength into the gas pedal. With my back against the seat, the wind against my visor and a smile on my lips, it was a dream start, the likes of which I have rarely achieved in Formula 2.

The feeling for the car came naturally and without much thought, I took off into the first corner, leaving Oscar Piastri and Sergio Perez behind me. For a brief moment, a warm feeling spread through my chest, after I had felt almost nothing but doubt from all sides in recent weeks. I accelerated perfectly out of the corner and was even able to briefly catch the outside of Charles Leclerc's red Ferrari at the braking point of the next corner. Maybe I wanted too much at that moment - to get one over on him after the conversation at Max's New Year's Eve party, to get back at him. But the feeling when I felt the brief contact on the front left tire and shortly afterward spun into the gravel and then slowed down and slid into the barrier is something I won't forget for a while.

"Are you okay, Emma?" Sarah asked over the team radio. I can't remember what I answered.

Now I'm sitting here with my helmet lying in the corner, my rider's suit still fully on and wrinkles of anger on my forehead. My eyes are still fixed on the screen. I watch as Charles confidently masters lap after lap and only drops one place.

"Frustrating, isn't it?" comes a voice out of nowhere. I look toward the door and see Carlos Sainz, dressed in a red polo shirt, limping towards me. I immediately get up, meet him, and move under his shoulder to support him. He laughs and moves with me toward the sofa, where he drops down and looks at me expectantly.

"Hm?" I say as my head bounces back and forth between him and the screen.

"Frustrating when you actually have everything within reach and then lose it all again - within a millisecond."

I look at him and for the first time, I notice how tired he is. I've known Carlos since he drove with Max at Toro Rosso in 2014, and some days I've actually wished he could put Max in his place. That hasn't always worked out well, but you have to have all the more respect for him when you see how hard he trains for his results. The biggest compliment is probably that my brother hasn't said a single bad word about Carlos and tends to speak positively about the still-Ferrari driver - especially in public.

My anger fades a little. When I think about what I want to say and how it might come across to him, only one word comes to mind to describe me: Crazy. I was on the outside and should have given Charles more space, wanted more than I could handle at that moment and ended up at the end of the gravel trap through no fault of my own.

"I know how it is in racing - everyone is their own best friend, but..."

"I didn't ask how you would rationally assess the situation, I asked if you were frustrated."

"Of course, I am! Of course, I'm frustrated," I admit and throw my arms in the air. My legs start to move up and down the room of their own accord. "I'm trying to put on a good performance and... I'm not saying that Charles is to blame for my elimination, but I imagine there was enough space to the left of him and he..."

"...kicked you out on purpose?" Carlos finishes my sentence. I look at him and consider whether I should nod. A short pause fills the room, leaving only the sound of engines from the race broadcast echoing from the TV. "You're frustrated, but you need to turn it off."

"That's so easy to say - but who am I telling?"

"Sometimes things happen that we can't help. And sometimes things happen that we should and do blame ourselves for, but blaming someone else for something helps us exactly zero."

"Since when are you so wise? Did they accidentally cut something during your appendectomy that's responsible for your impulsiveness?"

Carlos laughs, loudly, before letting out a short "ooh" of pain and reflexively pressing his hand against the side of his stomach. "Believe me, I'm certainly one of the people who knows the most about frustration. Whether Charles was responsible for the situation out there or not, if you blame him, you'll always stay distracted. Get over it and focus on yourself again."

"Is that what you're doing? Any news about 2025 yet?"

"No, and even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you."

"That frustrates me too, by the way - you're the only one who can hold a candle to Max, I know that better than anyone. And yet Mr. I-have-seven-world-championship-titles-and-wine-my-eighth-behind-and-Mr. I-belong-at-Ferrari-because-it-is-my-dream are more likely to get a seat than you? I wouldn't begrudge them if you can drive next to Max next year and you both win every race with a double Red Bull lead. My favorite thing would be if you were world champion and Max was only runner-up."

"I appreciate your words, but I don't think that's going to happen. Charles is a good driver and person, you've just caught him on the wrong foot the last few times - and your...differences with Lewis are just a result of you being biased. I promise. That will all go away after this year."

"You're too good for this world, Carlos. But the fact that I still have a bone to pick with that one..." I point my thumb towards the TV, "...not even you can prevent that."

I sit down next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. There was once a time when I dreamt of a moment like this, while I cut out photos of Carlos from magazines and stuck them together on a poster. Now he's like a big brother - the only person who knows Max better than me and can probably understand why I sometimes want to wring his neck.

A message appears on the TV informing us that the race incident has been analyzed by race control and that Charles will not be fined.

"Somehow I'm a little scared for him - he doesn't know you yet when you're really fired up."

"He'll learn about me soon enough, Carlos. Just wait."

-

"What do you think you're doing? Do you enjoy pushing other drivers? You could have left a bit more space!" I shout and charge towards Charles, who is throwing himself into the Ferrari crowd next to me to celebrate his third place. I stand behind the barrier, gathering all my strength and using every ounce of my lung capacity to ensure he can’t overhear me.

Charles turns in my direction, takes two steps towards me and smiles smugly at me: "I'm going to tell you something I wouldn't tell everyone: Fuck off. You're too aggressive in your driving, you think you can get away with anything. You may still be new, but there's no puppy protection here, you can remember that right away. If you want to drive like a pro, you'll have to live with the consequences, we all had to learn that." In the next moment he attempts to turn away and head to his first interview. Standing on the lowest metal bar of the barrier, I lean forward, grab him by the collar of his suit and pull him back towards me. I slide back down to the ground and have to turn my head upwards due to the difference in height.

"You could have spared two centimeters of space without sacrificing your podium place, you conceited snob. Do you think just because it says Ferrari on your back, you're the next Michael Schuhmacher?" My eyes are glowing. A few people turn in our direction and stop talking to each other so they can hear why there's noise here that has nothing to do with the celebrations.

"Do you think because you have Verstappen in your surname we'll all make way for you and give you a win? Oh, wait, you wouldn't win anyway because you've always been number two, right?" Charles steps up to the barrier and is only a few centimeters away from my face. He's taller than me, at least when I'm standing on the ground. I step back onto the first metal bar of the barrier, offering him at least minimal resistance. I swallow. Tears sting my eyes because the statement was more hurtful than I'd like to admit.

"Are you going to start crying now? Woman, we all have our own expectations about this sport and more so of ourselves and therefore, pressure. Everyone has been knocked out before because they drove too aggressively, and the risk therefore being too high. Max might be able to help you out here, but certainly not on the track. Learn to live with it and you might survive longer than a season." His words are quieter now. He looks frantically left and right, probably not wanting to be in the papers tomorrow. I briefly imagine the headlines, then shake my head and meet his gaze.

I take another breath, stand up straight and then look him deep in the eye before speaking with firm conviction: "I hope you remember exactly what I'm about to say, because I'm not going to repeat it again: as long as I'm part of this grid, you have to respect me as much as anyone else, whether you like it or not. And I swear to God, if you pull a stunt like that agin, Max will be the least of your worries." Then I stand back on the ground and take two steps back. Where I was just standing, the room immediately fills up with Red Bull mechanics, but Charles doesn't miss the opportunity to respond again.

"Wow, I’m shaking in my boots. Please, don't strain yourself, let it all out. But in the end, you'll still just be one thing: somebody who barks but doesn't bite." With that, he turns around and leaves me to the crowd of people standing outside cheering for the winners.

-

"I find myself back in Netflix's Drive to Survive recording room with the same interviewer who sat across from me last time. My flight leaves for Australia on Monday, two days from now, but thanks to the viral videos of Charles' and my argument, they naturally want my direct, unfiltered truth before my PR team strategizes and answers me accordingly.

"Emma! What happened out there? For a short time, it looked like you could make up two places on the first lap. Then there was an incident with Charles Leclerc on the second corner..." the interviewer begins. The additional lights blind me, just like the first time. I don't feel any less uncomfortable and I'm beginning to regret the direct confrontation. I want to race fast cars and compete in races, but I have no interest in adding more drama to a show that's as scripted and shallow as 'The Bachelor'.

"No comment on the incident. Race control looked at the incident and decided not to impose a penalty, I have to accept that," I say calmly. I almost congratulate myself for keeping my composure. Take that!

"Do you expect an apology from Charles Leclerc or Ferrari? After all, they ruined your race." The provocative line is not new to me. I can't even blame him, after all, they're just trying to make their series as exciting as possible. The stereotype is that women are emotional, but the truth is, everyone enjoys drama, regardless of gender.

"It always takes two to make an incident like this happen. I'm analyzing the raw data with my team and will adjust my behavior accordingly - a result like this is disappointing for Aston Martin and most of all for me. But we'll regroup and give our best shot in the next race." I am convinced of my words. I am fully aware that there was a collective murmur around the Aston Martin pit lane at the moment of retirement, along with a few comments that probably sounded a lot like "typical" and "natural". Nevertheless, we must all look forward and give ourselves a chance.

"After tenth place last week in Bahrain and a DNF here in Jeddah, what are the learnings for the next two weeks in preparation for Australia?"

I let a few seconds pass before answering. The first lesson is that I need to react faster to avoid situations like the one with Charles. "I plan to depart earlier than Fernando, giving me more time to acclimate and train."

At this moment, I notice a movement in the background. Everyone turns around before the interviewer thanks me for my statement, shakes my hand and can hardly wait to shoo me out of my chair. In passing, I notice that the crew greet Charles, who has apparently also been invited to make a short statement. All the attention is now on him, which I'm honestly glad about. I am allowed to exhale deeply without anyone noticing how tense I actually was. I stand up, put on my cap and march straight towards Charles. He looks at me wide-eyed as I hug him and wish him a good interview before I sneak out the door, giggling a little at the thought of the questions he's about to be asked. Sometimes revenge comes in a different form than you first expect."

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter V] [Chapter VII (in progress)] ɞ────

Tags: @cmleitora @alliwantisadonut

[f1-stuff]

mal, do you have any thoughts about the general cattiness of fred's comments about carlos and their strategy vs. his pace today? it feels like such a sharp 180 over how defensive fred was last week, but it really... felt like fred hung him out to dry this weekend. or are we all reading too much into it, and everything is business as usual in maranello?

I do have some thoughts on this tbh

I think that his comments are probably a mix of his genuine honest opinion, what the data/lap times were telling him, disappointment for the team not getting P2 in the Constructors', and the comments themselves sounding harsher than he maybe intended bc of both him being ESL and people's paraphrasing online making it sound worse than it really was.

If you read what he said in its entirety or watch his interviews with Sky, he clarifies that he does not think they lost the Constructors' in this last race, and that really they lost it bc of mistakes/incidents over the course of the season (which is true). Also, that they've performed much better in the second half of the season, so Carlos' lack of pace today was a surprise and something they need to analyze in the tests Tuesday. I don't think he entirely meant it as a 'Carlos performed badly,' and more as a 'the pace of his car was poor,' the blame being on the car/setup and not the driver.

I have no doubt that Fred knows how talented and skilled Carlos is, but he's also an honest man. Sometimes, we love that! Sometimes, it can come across quite harsh. But I still appreciate his honesty over the alternative. However, I do think that he avoided taking any responsibility for the strategy (which undoubtedly did not help Carlos). He probably should've never started on hard tyres, but I think an aggressive one-stop strategy (hard-medium or medium-hard) would've been better than whatever the heck they did instead. That way, cars on track would be forced to overtake Carlos, rather than the other way around.

More than Fred's comments though, I was disappointed by Ferrari's race report, the wording of which was honestly...abysmal imo.

Not only does this practically lay the blame on Carlos for losing the Constructors' for them, it also fails to acknowledge that he's the race winner in question for Ferrari this year. It gives the credit to "the team" for that win, when I would argue that it was Carlos' driving and clever DRS strategy that won him that race, not his team.

I also took issue with this paragraph:

It doesn't highlight (or even mention) Carlos' efforts or struggles whatsoever. (I want to stress that I agree that Charles tried everything, and that he had an amazing drive. He isn't to blame for the wording here. The P2 all came down to him in the end bc of the position the team and the car put their drivers in this year.)

I agree that Carlos struggled in this race (his pace dropped off from Stroll in front of him by a lot, although he came back at times), but it wasn't all on him, and I expected more support from his team, especially when he was able to claw his way up from P18 to P6 last race in Vegas. It wasn't a good weekend in Abu Dhabi for him, but drivers have bad weekends sometimes. Maybe if the strategy team or the car had less bad weekends, then this off-week for Carlos wouldn't have been such a hard hit.

Anyway, in the end, it might just be lack of awareness on the team's side, in terms of how their statements come across. I'm glad they're showing support for Charles after a rough season for him, and I think it's fair for Fred to be frank with Carlos if he's done a poor job, but it doesn't need to be shared with the media. If he must, then he should also take accountability on the team side. That's just my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

[chussyracing]

what is happening in the world of motorsports?

Alpine took another hit as engineer Bob Bell leaves the role of team's advisor and will join Aston Martin as executive director

Jessica Hawkings became the first woman to drive the latest generation of F1 car for Aston Martin demo run in Saudi Arabia, she also launched a new karting initiative with Tina Hausmann at Seven Concours (supported by Aramco)

Carlos originally came into the paddock on Wednesday for media day, but he swiftly made his way back to the hotel, because he feels unwell

George and Max spoke out about ride height of the cars and mentioned they already talked about it with FIA because it is not sustainable like this and it can be dangerous for the drivers so it needs to change for the new regulations in 2026

Williams are bringing a short term issue for their electronic glitch causing steering wheel problems with a permanent fix coming in Australia

Red Bull spent almost a year making a dron that can keep up with an F1 car for a full lap (and possibly more) and F1 is interested in the technology and spoke about it with FIA but safety concerns hold them back as it stands now

Audi is finishing the overtaking of Sauber, Oliver Hoffman became de-facto the boss of Andreas Seidl and Bild and Bloomberg claim that instead of previously said 75%, Audi will buy out 100% of Sauber

CEO of Bahrain gp wants to discuss a possibility of making Saturday gp a permanent thing because it alligned well with their schedule and they saw more ticket sells and in shorter time (screenshot below)

Side note for potentially triggering talk over the whole Horner case: i didn't see much yet besides one interview with Daniel (from media pen, I suppose) where he claims "it is just a noise but you saw how mighty they were in bahrain hahaha" or whatever. Just a fair warning that based on indirect text posts i saw he wasn't alone with the tone deaf comments and is not sending safe messages towards women in motorsports, so be careful.

[petit-papillion]

the funniest thing of the first half of this season was seeing carlos fans becoming conspiracional and saying wherever he got a slow pit stop that ferrari was doing on purpose to help charles, because last year they would call every charles fan crazy for thinking binotto was favoring carlos

Two things I've observed watching F1:

Like with every professional sport, there is definitely some cheating/influencing of results happening. Football may have its divers and biased referees, F1 has drivers complaining on the radio to try to sway the stewards, drivers deliberately binning their car at convenient times for them or their team mate, and let's not even start about the FIA changing its own rules in the final laps of the final race to provide an entertaining end to a close championship. There are many ways a team itself can influence a driver's results (ignoring driver feedback, slow pit stops, wrong tires, etc.) should they want to. Whether it's in their best interest is debatable, but it's certainly not unheard of.

When you're a fan of an athlete (or any other famous person), it is hard to stay unbiased. This is the person you idolize, your ultimate favorite, or your meow meow. So common sense sometimes goes out the window as we look at what happens during race weekends. E.g., Checo fans think he's continuously getting sabotaged to favor Max, while Max fans say it's nonsense and point to the many fastest pit stops Checo has had this year.

And so as a Charles fan, yes, I feel like Binotto was not supportive enough to Charles, with Monaco and Silverstone being the wounds that cut the deepest. I felt that the fact that Binotto had to go to Monaco to smooth things over with Charles after Silverstone was very telling. Add in Binotto's post-race comments (e.g., quick to say France was Charles's fault, but never admitting to mistakes made by other team members), social media gaffes (Santander's lovely "Winners win.", forgetting to acknowledge Charles's past achievements, etc.), and numerous articles in the press speculating the same thing, it should come as no surprise that Charles fans got the impression Binotto favored the person he himself hired over the person he inherited.

And now that the team principal is someone who has a history and strong bond with Charles, it makes sense that Carlos fans would be concerned about Carlos not getting fair treatment. To be honest, I hadn't really seen Carlos fans calling Charles fans crazy or seen them become conspiracional, but then again, I am not on the more toxic social media for a reason.

By the way, I always thought it was unsettling that Charles was unable to reverse out of that crash in France, and even my Mum (a Verstappen fan) thought there had to have been an issue or a wind gust involved in causing his crash. Read about what Nico Rosberg said shortly after it happened.

[novemberdevils]

I FUCKING FORGOT TO SEND THIS 😭😭😭 at my job rn and saw the notification fron your account and realised that I forgot to send this oops; sending this from the bathroom sorry about this, A bit sad about the end of the end of the 24 season for obvious reasons but my god that drive from charles?? From p19 to p8 in one lap that’s my goat and you must somehow make this happen in the fic but in a better ending where McLaren doesn’t win, this would be as usual a mixture of puck drop and intermission thoughts; actually no intermission thoughts I as usual fell asleep-a surprise to no one-.

ONTO ROUND SEVEN WE GO!!! And it’s all imola my favourite race having a chapter on its own I thank you for that, jack needs to go home and be cuddled to death and if nico is not going to do it I volunteer, one thing I loathe about my job is having meetings but I can’t imagine what meetings in Ferrari be like, jack falling asleep in nico’s room and then getting out of it like some kind of walk of shame is hilarious to me, ok atp jack needs to put that damned drug store concealer in his travel bag because he will use it more than he will use his shampoo, JACK TAKING A FUCKING PICTURE??? Sure his face is cropped but are they actually still talking on instagram? The poor interns who update on their accounts get treated to their insanity, and nico sending a picture back my god those two their conversations are going to get leaked and no one will know how to deal with the mess, sainz is going to catch their asses simply because jack never uses that concealer omg, oh fred hii!! My bald small terror frenchman, at least jack and carlos are on the same page with the incident because I can never imagine myself apologising like a misbehaved child but them being on the same page actually makes it better because thw team can’t do anything to stop them except for maybe dropping them and they will not do that so they are forced to act like it’s ok, I love the little details of who and when jack calls someone by their names or nicknames vs last name; it’s the ultimate guide on who he sees as a “friend” on the grid, Nico would be proud of him. YES HE WOULD BABY, jack and carlos agreeing WE CHEER, jack using nico as an example when he was so mad at him last time when he said the exact same thing we love a character development arc.

Quinn there is a way to win at meetings which is ending it without committing any crimes because of the amount of stupidity that you hear, Might be the NASCAR in me but I never liked how media-perfect they have you guys over thereme too quinn I want the fist fights the petty fights the contract drama the everything messy, omg nico is there a space on jack’s body that you didn’t mark??, no because I love overanalysing the different mindsets in the tifosi there are people who bleed red and there are people who support the drivers not the team; I wonder how does jack feels like does he feel the majority love him because he wears red but despises him because he is an American that was promised to bring them glory? Or does he feel welcomed when he is there?, ok this also making my logan soft spot become rather obvious but you never see the other drivers nationalities being thrown at their faces every single time they are in public; a person can only handle so much before breaking down but to have his own fans throw that they wouldn’t support him because it’s insulting to have an American driver must hurt more than having a random interviewer doing it, second in the championship ouch you could hear my heart breaking a bit from reading this, A TREVOR PODIUM!! He deserves it because he is the only one in my nice list about jack everyone else is in my bad list, may and indy are soulmates written in the stars they are perfect for each other, and we are back to my beloved couch I already miss her and want her back, oh jack I love you but you will 100% not survive an indy grid those guys are insane on a whole different level that you, are those two flirting over indy500 and being eaten alive…?, omg jack delete the whole conversation before you traumatise some poor intern, they are kicking each other’s legs oh my god when I tell you I put my phone down and hold my head in disbelief, jack remembering what nico said in fucking Shanghai which was -checks notes- round TWO; your obsession is becoming clear mister hughes get it under control, oh god the fact the first time seeing each other after fucking is in a media setting is so on brand, not because they know Jack was letting his title rival dick him down raw in Miami, I spat my tea omg jack please don’t think it you will end up saying it 😭, “Hischier, how does it feel to be leading the championship for the first time in your career?” Horrible next question, FUCKING WHISPERING????? NICO WHAT THE ACTION FICK HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?? Also you should be glad that you will not receive a community service for saying pussy, jack using nico again as an example I love character development.

they’ll film the most awkward media challenge you’ve ever seen then roll up to the interviews like “yeah he’s right idc if he crashed into my whole entire car” i’m dead queen lex with her usual quote of the chapter, jack having the notification visible on his phone lock screen where everyone could see it; how are those still haven’t been found by other people it’s not like they are trying to hide, those two give me the biggest headache I hate them, “You’re the one who sent me your room number.” Yeah to have sex with you later not now, oh god they have a usual that they can say this is not usual for you, jack please don’t get ideas about pushing nicotine in front of everyone, them and hotel rooms entrance are a match made in heaven, ok nico please jack is already as unreliable as they come don’t make him question everything again because that will cause ME a headache, Then why? Jack wants to ask. What do you gain from it otherwise? This is a crazy thought jack but bear with me you could I don’t know ASK him???. 

Ferrari sending jack and carlos on different times during fp is funny because come in they ARE insane but will not crash onto each other during practice, I just realised that I probably don’t want them to be level on points heading to Abu Dhabi because my anxiety would NOT handle it; almost had a panic attack during the wcc when it was almost impossible to win it I don’t need to stress over a fic too, jack being mad with the team I like it and watch nico tattooing this moment because of how proud that jack is being cunty with someone other than him.

We arrived to the jack and luke conversation which is probably top two scenes in this chapter it was SO GOOD, there is always the unsettling feeling when you spend too much time travelling because you will stay in a hotel room; and I feel like that feeling is multiplied by a hundred for jack because of his whole not feeling he belongs anywhere and he misses Monaco simply because it’s HIS apartment maybe he doesn’t spend enough time for it to be considered a “home” but it still somewhere he feels at home, and him being with luke but still have a sense of longing to a home hurts because of the fight, like it’s his brother the closest to a childhood home he will get in a foreign country but because he feels like luke is expecting what the media wants from him so that belonging is taken from him, driving one-handed hottest thing a person could do, luke perhaps judging jack when he was the one who told him that the f2 guys were talking about him is a bit of a hypocrite move from him it looks like he was expecting a reaction and he didn’t get it so now he is judging him for it, luke giving jack weird looks because he mentions nico is funny but a bit annoying as jack would be overthinking about what he says so he doesn’t get judged; like what if he DOES watch his interviews it wouldn’t be the end of the world, “Maybe they’ll fire Checo,” perez taking the seat from a much deserved driver even in this fic I love the consistency, toro rosso my beloved name look what they have done to you im sorry, also I always had a difficult relationship with sister teams because it sometimes feels disadvantage especially when it used blantley-rb im specifically looking at you- but I do like them when they don’t throw a rookie in the main team and then drop them if they don’t preform; look as long as MY driver is the one who receives the advantages idc. 

ok I will say that them attacking jack when he says that they don’t understand what he is going through because it IS the truth neither of them have ever been leading an formula ONE championship like sure they understand the racing part of it because both have experience in that but what they are doing to jack every time he says they don’t understand what he is feeling at the moment it diminishes his feelings in a way; and look im probably overthinking it and they don’t mean it that way but kack has said multiple times that they don’t understand so them ignoring that and still pressing and pressuring hurts a bit for him and that must be why he even goes to nico in the first place because nico has no expectations about how he should act if he should mince his words if he should be this way or that way, “What, so I’m not allowed to call you out on anything?” There is a difference between calling someone out and telling them in an actually polite manner that this isn’t what you should be doing and if they continue to do it leave it you have done your part, “It’s for your own good, Jack,” oh my god the words I HATE the most I get to decide what id good for ME not you the most you can do is give me advice and then shut up; like genuinely nothing pisses me off more than being oh im diminishing you and pretending I didn’t hear you telling me to stop because I know what is best for you, luke throwing the words jack used the same tactics that the media uses ouch, “Neither of you have raced in F1, it’s different, I don’t care what either of you have to say about that, it’s—” THIS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY thank you for putting more eloquently, their whole argument breaks my heart btw, everyone around jack joking about how honest he is and how fun it’s but when he FINALLY tells them what he feels he is a bitch to them because he said something they didn’t like, How? How is it different? How am I supposed to know what any of you want from me? Am I a cunt or am I pathetic or am I honest or am I admirable or does your teammate want to fucking be like me or like Nico or are we the same or are we— what do you— which of us do you want to be like? Do you think I was easier to handle the way I was before? You do know that killing me would have hurt way less than reading this?, Jack apologies first why is he so me like im getting attached to him because I see myself in this but especially in that moment, you do deserve the biggest compliment for putting all of my thoughts in coherent terms, especially the no one get it except nico part, JACK GOING TO NICO’S ROOM AFTER THE FIGHT excuse me while I scream in my pillow, oh starting with a kiss okay get it jack!, okay what is it with nico and jack’s neck like yeah it’s a pretty one ngl but the obsession is funny, the way jack had just started telling him what happened like I will be patiently waiting for the Realisation that he loves him, “You could just not care. About all the opinions.” Nico leave jack’s neck for a second and tell me how to do this because live would be so much easier, the way jack says that he is not in control when the reality he has it and it was just proved when he said he wanted more pressure and nico provided it; if jack never said it he wouldn’t do it and if jack wanted to end their whole mess nico wouldn’t be able to actually stop him because then it would turn into assault rather than it be something they both enjoy.

shouldn’t have started the fighting scene snd this at 2 am because now im crying about how helpless jack feels about everything and nico is just there to help him take a breath and letting him talk about it without judgement, oh yeah im crying genuine tears the whole scene where nico is pressing jack to say he is in control hits me so hard, also jack not wanting to open his eyes but still doing it because nico asked is not helping the tears to stop, also the way nico is repeating himself it feels like he is desperate to let jack understands he is the one in control, “You’re supposed to get it,” what is it with you and letting them say stuff that hurts so fucking bad?, why the fuck am I crying over this scene I will be sending you my therapy bill so you can pay it, jack saying winning feels the same as being pinned to a door, nico you are in my prayers for staying strong with jack being like this in your arms, “You are not like anyone I have ever met before in my life.” Yeah nico tell me about how you have no idea what to do with jack because every time you try to understand him he surprises you with something else, nico apologising for overanalysing their Scenes because he feels like it’s a betrayal to jack who uses them as an escape kill me.

Okay this would be the end for this comment because I gave myself a bit of a headache from the weird crying session I had, see you later.

HELLO I AM BACK TO ANSWER SOME STUFF. i exploded and disappeared over finals week because finals week then i was kind of just being dead to the world for a while. i played a lot of the sims 4. very important stuff. but now i am here i tried writing a race scene on my phone in bed last night and i hated it the whole time Anyways i will actually speak to this ask now and not nonsense

there will be some endgame championship shenanigans. it wouldn't be a fanfiction about a title battle without shenanigans... and yippee imola! a wonderful race that absolutely got away from me one too many times. and jack is big time stupid. which i think we all knew. he probably threw that concealer away in monaco and hasn't found the braincells to replace it now that he's back in europe (maybe with something that sucks a little less) because that would involve thinking about it and he cbf. because Obviously the better option is to just roll up to a team meeting with visible bite marks -- carlos is the only one who outwardly acknowledges it but that's because he has no shame or fear. and i don't think it's the first time jack has Taken a picture but it's def the first time he's sent it to nico. if i remember correctly. again, big time stupid. maybe the social media peoples in charge of their accounts choose not to open their dms in the interest of privacy or something. they're busy

yeah sainz has Theories. probably. my ideas for his character are mostly a giant mess, everything is the most ridiculous work in progress of all time. it's fine

ferrari drivers agree that team orders is stupid and ferrari team agree that drivers is stupid. but only one side of that argument are the ones Actually driving the cars. so they win by default, even if outnumbered. jack will always apologize first because he thinks it will make the other party apologize back once they realize he acknowledges his own wrongdoing. it does not always work. and jack does not always mean it when he apologizes, it's just supposed to make things easier. yeah i give a stupid amount of thought to how jack refers to the other drivers, i know i've said it before but at all times how jack refers to carlos is a direct reflection of exactly how he feels about him in the moment. i think it shifts back to carlos from sainz in the middle of the meeting scene idk i only wrote the damn thing

petition for more fist fights in f1!!! the media (and most of the fans probably) could absolutely never handle it but i think it would be a good time. and the tifosi are such an interesting party to analyze, so i am glad i made jack a ferrari driver in this fic because it means i get to fuck around with it lol - there definitely are tifosi who support him without really caring that he's american, but there are others who really do care. whether they support him anyways (just with a grain of salt) or elect to hate him and root for carlos instead, or something. but in my head, even some of the tifosi who half-resent him know he's the team's best bet, because obviously, so they lean towards him, anyways. but they aren't jack fans, just ferrari fans: if he were to jump to another team (which he won't) they wouldn't follow him, they'd pick up with whoever came to take his seat. womp womp. i imagine jack has this idea in his head that he can somehow win over everybody ever even though that's impossible, but he sometimes tries to play to everybody instead of just being honest or whatever. if i remember correctly i've referenced this before? i think he says something in some scene at some race about how it's not his fans' opinion of him that matters, because he's already won them over, but the people who don't like him that he has to worry about. like he'll ever be able to change their minds

and i say "imagine" about jack's character like i'm not writing the fanfiction

i also have a logan soft spot... it is very obvious in the whole entire everything about this fic... i got a comment on it a little while ago that literally only said "are you a logan sargeant fan" like thanks what gave me away. yes i did write logan/oscar fanfiction on a different account. what gives. Anyways. my soft spot for logan is largely what motivated making jack the only american on the grid (also The Narratives) even though that very greatly limited what nhl players i could haphazardly shove into f1 cars. that's partially why there's so many actual drivers left on the grid, and also partially because i just think it's funny. but any american nhler was automatically out of the running because it would ruin The Narratives. also why there are 19 billion canadians lmao

trevor podium. trodium. he's busy. maybe he stays on the nice list because he's far away and jack and they don't talk very often, but also i have no intentions of making trevor do any evil that gets jack mad at him or anything. he's there for vibes. a little self-indulgent window into the indycar world and also a guy jack can tell all his fucking-his-title-rival-related secrets. best friends forever

jack and nico public flirting incident number ninety-seven. they should both actually just keep their mouths shut for the rest of the season, i think that's the only way to prevent nonsense. i lowkey wrote the 'dick him down raw in miami' line as a joke but i was too amused by it when proofreading to remove it so there it is. still kicking despite it all

lex is so real i love writing her tweets (that's why she has so many of them oops) and jack is biggest idiot ever!! going for the gold like dumbassery is an olympic sport! which is why he will never ask nico anything ever except like. very guarded versions of the questions he Actually wants to ask. he can't reveal too much (see also: anything) about how he's feeling in his attempts to figure nico out, so he usually just ends up firing accusations at him rather than asking him anything real. they're such a mess but is that not the point

i'm so excited to write some of the end of the season scenes it's not even funny but like omg so many races before i get there... so many things to happen... but believe me i have some ideas. the end of the season arguably has more of an outline than anything else, which isn't really saying much because this fic barely has the idea of an outline. i just do whatever i want. i think up scenes and then i write them. Boom. hundred thousand words. that's how being a writer goes sometimes

yeah i made jack and luke fight by accident... i think i said that a little while ago but in vaguer terms. writers know how it is, shit writes itself without your input. they just started fighting. and i was like Oh okay we're doing this! and then we were doing it across two whole races. i'm glad you liked the scene! i like writing dialogue a lot (if you can't tell) and that scene was a lot of fun to do, even the parts that got away from me lol. luke arguably Is the closest thing to home jack has out in europe, and the same applies to luke with jack, which is part of why fighting each other is so like. Bad. and why quinn kind of inserts himself into the situation and tries to play mediator. he hates watching his brothers fight for selfish reasons, sure, but he also knows that both of them need each other in ways they would never properly admit to, so he tries to get them back on good terms before they get away from themselves. writing sibling relationships is so complicated (because sibling relationships just are complicated). obviously i have no idea what it's like to be a race car driver, but i do know what it's like to have a sibling, so. i like getting to put a little magnifying glass over those relationships. is fun

and luke is absolutely being an annoying little brother in this scene. he tells jack something then gets upset with him for having the exact reaction he was always going to have, then he gets mad at jack for being upset, et cetera, et cetera. maybe he was secretly hoping jack wouldn't react as predicted, and it was like some kind of test, and now he's upset that jack failed. who knows (me, arguably, but do i?). checo has to be around in this universe because i needed to give nico a teammate who was objectively worse than him - same with why i kept carlos in ferrari. i know i could've made either of their teammates Other nhl players but this is more fun for me. i wanted the fight to be unequivocally between jack and nico, fuck their damn teammates, so they're just like drivers who are Also There. it is what it is. and toro rosso was absolutely the best name for red bull's sister team!!! i know now they have stupid sponsors or whatever but toro rosso was cool. and less confusing than the shorthand 'RB' because that is arguably just also red bull. VCARB. whatever. i also miss love the blue and silver toro rosso liveries bring those back they were pretty

jack literally cannot go anywhere without getting attacked. everybody sucks. in their heads, they're looking out for him or giving him advice or whatever, but jack will always see it as an attack or them not believing in him somehow, and like jack says later in the chapter, he's the only one who gets to decide how other people make him feel, their intentions be damned. but the others (quinn and luke mostly, in this scenario) really do think they're coming from a good place, and don't properly understand why jack always gets so defensive whenever they try to talk to him, or why he's always insisting that it is different, and they don't understand, because they don't really know what else they're supposed to do. but jack doesn't want them to understand, he just wants them to acknowledge that they don't, and still be there for him anyways. blah blah blah character nonsense GOD i never know what i'm talking about. jack in this fic is one of the most complicated characters i've written in a long time tbh. i am having a great time. yes, nico has less of an expectation for how jack should be behaving, and also he actually gets it, because they're the two people who are actively fighting for that title right now. he's drawn to nico because he doesn't challenge him, and even if he also says things that jack doesn't believe to be true, they're different things. he still doesn't trust nico in all his own ways, but he's also drawn to him for a whole list of reasons he never really lets himself read into. and nico is. nico. Yup

luke is too little brother to figure out that difference. he is just going to Be Suck for a while. "it's for your own good" is absolutely some bullshit but luke Really believes that, and he's too dense and in his own head to understand why jack doesn't appreciate it. jack can never win!!! pathetic or honest or a cunt or admirable or none of the above, whatever he does someone is always against him, and whatever he does he always feels like everyone is against him. no winning. ever. off to nicotown because jack thinks nico is the only person in the entire history of ever who understands him, even though nico arguably does not understand him at all. he understands all those racing things that no one else can, but also. like. both jack and nico are kind of obsessed with figuring the other out in their own ways. obviously it shows more with jack because it's his pov, but they're both trying to get a read on each other. jack may interpret nico trying to get a read on him as some kind of strategy, those off-track games he always thought nico was playing, even though he knows that's not the case for him. it's the whole "you aren't like anyone else" thing. we aren't there yet are we. Whatever. each of them finds the other confusing and neither really knows how to handle that

nico has neck problems. also it's because i wrote this fic that's the simplest answer lmao arguably this entire plot could exist without the hickey nonsense but i do what i want. see, this is nico's version of "helpful advice," and it's arguably the same shit (why do you care so much when you don't have to, it doesn't matter, et cetera) but somehow it feels less awful coming from nico, maybe because he's less insistent about it. maybe because jack knows that nico does understand exactly how this feels, and yet he chooses to handle it all completely different to the way jack does. like some kind of proof that it really is possible not to care, even if jack still can't figure out how or why. unlike when luke does the same shit, because he doesn't get it, and jack doesn't trust that luke wouldn't care if he was in his position. et cetera. omg i'm rambling so bad

yeah jack absolutely has the control he just doesn't believe that. i could go on but that's all too spoilery

sometimes i write a line and then i just stare it for a moment like Jesu Christ and then it makes the final edit. and sometimes i forget all about the crazy shit i wrote and find it again when i'm proofreading and go Jesus Christ all over again lmao. there were a lot of those scenes in imola. i am having a great time, as the writer who has all the answers. Or. most of them. i think some of the answers are still yet to show themselves to me

[f1]

Sainz confident very small crash wont put him off his stride | 2023 Monaco Grand Prix

Carlos Sainz Jnr is confident he will rebound quickly from the crash which brought his running to an early end on Friday. The Ferrari driver headed the times in the opening hour of practice at the Monte Carlo circuit. He fell to third in the later session, a tenth of a second off pace-setter Max Verstappen, and crashed with around a quarter of an hour left to run. He made contact with the barrier on the inside of turn 15 as he rounded the swimming pool section, breaking his front-right suspension and sending him into the wall at the next corner. Sainz brushed off the setback, calling it “a very small crash, to be honest.” “I just clipped the wall on the inside,” he explained. “Typical Monaco, a miscalculation and a shame because I just gave the mechanics some extra time today. “But in terms of confidence and in terms of lap time, I’ve been on it the whole day and just a small miscalculation in one corner is not going to affect it.” Sainz believes Ferrari can be contenders for pole position in Monaco, where they locked out the front row of grid last year. “I think we’re on the right track to at least challenging for it,” he said. “The Red Bull is still quick. They’re still leading after today. But we’ve been closer than any other weekend and we hope that we can at least give them a run for their money. But I think it’s still going to be tricky.” Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free His team mate Charles Leclerc was even closer to Verstappen in second practice, the pair separated by just 0.065 seconds. He said his car wasn’t entirely to his liking at times on Friday and is seeking improvements in its balance. Gallery: Monaco Grand Prix practice in pictures “We are okay but Aston Martin and Red Bull seems to be a very quick as well,” said Leclerc. “So we still need to do a step forward. “The feeling with the car wasn’t too bad in FP1, a bit difficult, in FP2 a little bit better, but there were some things that weren’t as expected on my car. So we’ll work during the night to try and and have the car exactly as I want tomorrow.” “I don’t think we have the best car, again,” he added. “Red Bull is faster, Aston Martin is thereabouts. But if we do a great job and if I put everything in my lap, then everything is possible.” Leclerc crashed twice during the last race weekend in Miami and also hit a barrier during sprint race qualifying in Azerbaijan. However he said he’s prepared to “give it all” tomorrow. “Qualifying is everything here. Again there’s lots of talks about my last race, but at the end qualifying has always been one of my strengths. So I’m not too worried and I will go for it and let’s see what happens.” Carlos Sainz Jnr, Ferrari, Monaco, 2023 Carlos Sainz Jnr, Ferrari, Monaco, 2023 Carlos Sainz Jnr, Ferrari, Monaco, 2023 Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free 2023 Monaco Grand Prix Browse all 2023 Monaco Grand Prix articles via RaceFans - Independent Motorsport Coverage https://www.racefans.net/

[russellsppttemplates]

Surprises (George Russell)

Note: english is not my first language

I really wanted to write something for George for his first pole position and I had this is mind

Feedback is appreciated 🤍 and although I'm not taking requests per se, if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so!

Free Practice at the Hungaroring had been everywhere, FP3 ending with the William's cars in the top 3, "That is something I haven't seen in a while, and I have been here for a long time", one of the older engineers said, the rest of the team agreeing with the surprise laps. And when Qualifying came around, George's pace seemed promising and as they progressed the sessions, George getting his first pole position. The team cheered from the garage until after he got his Pirelli tyre. Many messages of support flooded his phone, either from social media or from his text app, much like yours had ended up there, "Congrats on pole position, my love! I'm so proud of you, call me when you get the chance, I love you!" could be read on his screen. After the team dinner and some discussions about the race tomorrow, George got in his room, discarding his trainers and getting rid of his team raincoat, placing it in one of the hooks. Texting you to see if you were still up, he replied he was going to take a quick shower and then you would videocall after you texted that you were still awake despite being tucked in bed. "Hi handsome, congratulations on your pole position", you said as soon as the connection was settled, George appearing on your screen, his upper body against the headboard of the bed allowing you to appreciate his body as well as his face, hair still damp from the shower as he began to tell you about the day. "I don't think anyone was expecting it but yeah, we did it! Toto even asked everyone on the team to write down in detail every single thing they did since they woke up and what they had for their meals", he chuckled, "That just means everyone's doing a good job, that the car is heading where it is supposed to be. How are you feeling about tomorrow?", you asked, snuggling further into the pillow on George's side of the bed as you pushed the sleeves of his sweater tighter against your fingers, "I feel good about it, I know I have Charles and Carlos right behind me and they'll put up a fight but so will I", he said confidently, "I wish I could be there even more now... And that client isn't as great as they portrayed, the meeting today was just boring stuff and nothing was decided because 'we have tomorrow anyway', ugh", you tried to imitate his voice, "who is that happy to be stuck in a meeting on a Sunday? I love what I do but I also hate it a lot", you exasperated, remembering the client that insisted that the meeting had to be during the weekend, and coinciding with the last race weekend your boyfriend had before break, one where he would be starting on pole. "Wish you were here too, darling. But hopefully you have a good meeting and you can go home and watch the race", he expressed, "realistically, I think the only thing that will come out of that meeting is my brain cells because that man is possibly the slowest thinker I've ever met. But I have already said that I have to be home by midday so I can eat and watch the race, that was non negotiable... and, also, because I'm doing these weekend hours they're giving me two more days of holidays", you beamed. "So two more days where I have to handle you?", George teased, "yeah, a whole 48 hours more of me attached to your hip, I warned you when we got together, you knew what you were getting into, mate", you teased back, "in all seriousness though, I can't wait to spend some time just the two of us, no work to be done quickly and phonecalls all the time. Also, when you get back on Monday, your sister and I thought that we could get together here with everyone, have some dinner", you launched the ideia. Family time was very important to George and you knew that he tried to split his time so he could see them as often as possible, so a nice dinner would be a good way to start summer break, "yeah, that sounds lovely", he replied, talking some more and then bidding you goodbye.

As you suspected the meeting hadn't been all that successful but right now you were just focused on getting home, heating some leftovers from last night and then sit on the sofa to watch your boyfriend race, one of his Mercedes t-shirts wrapping the top half of your body. George lead a good number of laps until he started feeling the pressure from other drivers, and a few battles along the way granted him the third place on the podium. Knowing the team wanted to celebrate the weekend that night, you shared a quick call with him before he headed out to celebrate.

The next morning you left the house early so you could buy some ingredients that were missing for your dinner and desserts, rhe cake you had planned to bake needging a few more and more specific ingredients than the usual ones you kept in the cupboard. When you arrived back home, you put your hair up in a bun and an apron over your comfy clothes, gathering everything and starting with the baking. George would be arriving after lunch so you wanted to get everything ready by then, not wanting to spoil your surprise. Your grandma had made a cake the last time she came to visit you and George, the recipe a classic of hers and George had loved it, wishing it was something he was able to have everyday on his diet, and now that he was taking a break and celebrating his race, you felt like making it for him, along with some other recipes he and his family had showed appreciation for when you had baked them in the past.

Snacking as you went along, you didn't feel hungry enough for lunch, beginning to tidy the mess away as the hour George had told you he'd be arriving approached. You had been sitting down on the sofa for no longer than 30 minutes when you heard the gravel outside along with the engine sound slowing down until it stopped, prompting you to go to the door to greet your boyfriend, "You're back, I missed you, how was the flight?", you said as he entered the door, taking off his shoes while he pressed kisses to anywhere he could reach on your face, "It was good, happy to finally be home, and to be with you. Too lonely out here without me?", he asked, grabbing your hand as he made his way to the kitchen door, "No no no", you grabbed him by his waist, "you can't go in there", you ordered, "Why? Did you blow up our kitchen?", he chuckled, "first of all Mr Russell, I am a very good cook and know how to take care of my kitchen, thank you very much. Second, I have a something in there, that is not burnt," you emphasised, "that I don't want you to see yet", trying your best pouty lip, not wanting him to see the cake you had prepared. "Alright, I won't look, I promise. But can I get a bottle of water, please?", he asked, making his way to the living room as you went to grab it for him from the fridge, "thank you my love", he said as he pressed his lips to your hand.

After enjoying being in eachothers embrace, it was time to get dinner started, turning on the oven as you grabbed everything you needed from the cupboard, setting the table in a simple way and ready for the guests. "I feel like I should help you but I'm afraid of setting foot in the kitchen and seeing whatever it is you don't want me to see", George started as he helped arranging the table, "I can stay in the kitchen and bring the things to the door and you carry them to the table", you suggested, earning a nod from your boyfriend, "you know what this feels like? My mum used to do this to me and my siblings when she had desserts she didn't want us to touch in the kitchen, she would make us stand outside. Did you make a dessert? Oh, I hope it's that really good one from your grandma's recipe", he mused. You had been caught, "my grandma has many recipes", you replied, "all of them are good really, I don't mind which one", he said as you handed him the last plate with some entrées, hearing the knock on the door, "that should be your family, can you get it, love?", you asked as he made his way to the door and you carried on checking the food in the kitchen, happy with how it was coming along.

Cheers and congratulations could be heard from the corridor and living room, your boyfriend greeting everyone that arrived as you wiped your hands on a kitchen towell and headed out to greet them as well. "Y/N, dear, it's so good to see you", his mother, Alison, hugged you as you went around hugging everyone else, asking if they had made a safe trip there, "Auntie Y/N", you heard George's nephew and niece call for you, your legs being immediately hugged by them, "Hi guys, look how grown up you are, you must've gotten taller since I last saw you", you ruffled the hair on their heads before greeting everyone else. You and George lead them to the dining are as they started picking on the food there while you finished it up in the kitchen, "Auntie Y/N, can we come in? Uncle George is not with us", the children asked as you allowed them in, showing them the checkered cake you baked, "this is a surprise for Uncle George", you said with your finger on top of your lips making a 'shh' noise, "because he was the first driver at the start of the race?", one of them hinted, "yeah, and because he was on the podium yesterday too!", you answered and they giggled their way out of the kitchen as you went to call for help, "anyone can help me with the trays from the oven?", getting affirmative answers from George's sister Cara and her husband. Dinner had been lovely, everyone enjoying the food and overall just some wholesome family time, George's hand always close to you under the table as he chatted away.

"Now it's time for your surprise, so if you could close your eyes for me", you asked George as his nephew was quick to get down from his seat, "I'll help too!", the both of you heading to the kitchen to grab the cake and a bottle of a homemade liquor from your parents, handing the little boy the bottle that was lighter than the cake on the stand.

Setting it all on the table, gasps went around the table, George's family recognising the baked good, "It's not fair that you know what it is and I don't", George complained, "You can open your eyes now silly, I hope you like it. Congratulations on your first pole position my love", you said pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Opening his eyes, George was presented with what he said would easily be the best cake recipe he ever had, despite having him mother right in front of him, "I knew it, you were being so secretive about it, I was so sure the checkered cake was coming, it's a shame your grandma isn't here", he said, "Well, I'm sure it's not as good as hers, I swear hers always tastes different, but I did my best", you said as you cut it up and started giving the plates to everyone, "I'm sure it's amazing, thank you darling", George said as he grabbed the hand that was grabbing the plates and kissed the inside of your wrist.

You were now lounging on the living room, only Cara and her husband, and their children, were left as the others decided to head back home earlier, "Uncle George, when are we going to have a cousin? Because my friend Max from school is getting a baby cousin next week. Can we have one too? Next week as well?", his niece asked, and everyone giggled, a blush coming on your cheeks, "mummy said that cousins are the babies from uncles and aunties, and you're an uncle and an auntie", they pointed between you. Sharing a look between you and his sister and brother in law, George replied smiling, "Well, you can't just ask for a cousin and have them come right away, it's not how it works", you tried to reason.

"What a shame, I wanted a cousin to play with me on my game", his nephew said, "and I wanted a cousin to go karting with me next month", his niece said, following her brother's sulking expression, making everyone break into full belly laughs, the children not understanding why the adults were laughing about their badly timed wishes.

After everyone left, you and George tidied the downstairs area before locking up and heading to your bedroom, getting ready for bed. "Is it something you want? To have kids, I mean", George started, "Yeah", you smiled. You had briefly talked about it before on those nights where neither of you could fall asleep and you were in the living room musing about the future, "maybe not now, but in a couple of years, I would like that a lot", you said as you snuggled closer to him, pressing a kiss to his naked chest your had missed sleeping on.

[morganaspendragonss]

holly's august extravaganza day 4: a friend in me

📍 anon - I don't know but I feel like Carlos and Nancy can have such an awesome best friend dynamic. Maybe something sad/scary regarding Nancy happens where she has to make a report at the precinct and Carlos doesn't tell anyone as she made him promise so he starts to just check on Nancy and they just develop this caring, supportive, beautiful, fun, full of banter friendship to the amusement of TK and the 126.

kept this separate from your original ask because i want to keep those other prompts you sent alongside this one for later 😊

ao3 | 2k | hurt/comfort, brief references to gun violence, mostly just carlos and nancy being besties

Carlos has never seen Nancy look so small.

She’s sitting hunched over in one of the interrogation rooms, shock blanket around her shoulders, hands seemingly moving of their own volition to tear the empty styrofoam cup in front of her to shreds. As soon as Carlos had seen her being escorted into the precinct, shaking like a leaf and clutching her coat like a lifeline, he’d persuaded the officer with her to let him take over the case. His association with the 126 is well known so the officer had been reluctant, but Carlos had managed to wear him down, saying that he doesn’t really know Nancy that well.

And it’s—it’s not exactly a full lie. Through their hangs and TK’s stories, he’s coming to see Nancy as a force of nature, a woman who will let nothing and no-one stand in her way, whether that’s out on the field or during a game of Monopoly. But of her personal life, Carlos knows next to nothing; she mentioned a sister a few weeks ago, and TK delights in teasing her about her growing crush on Marjan, but that’s about it.

He needs to make more of an effort, he decides. When they’re anywhere else but a police station.

Carlos knocks lightly on the door to announce his presence before entering the room, sending her what he hopes is a reassuring smile. Nancy visibly relaxes at the sight of him and she drops the remains of her cup, though Carlos doesn’t miss the continuing tremble to her hands.

“Hey Nancy,” he says, sliding into the seat opposite her. “How are you doing?”

Nancy’s lips twitch, the corners barely curving into the beginnings of a wry smile. She breathes out shakily, meeting Carlos’s eyes for the briefest second before staring back down at the table. “I’m not great,” she answers, and for her to admit to that… Well, Carlos suspects it’s not a regular occurrence.

He nods, reluctantly pulling out his notebook and pen, hesitating before flipping to the next blank page. Nancy tracks his movements, resignation clearly etched all over her features. Carlos glances at the two-way mirror—not that it does him any good—then reaches across the table to take Nancy’s hand.

“We don’t have to do this right now,” he murmurs. “If you need more time, just say the word and I’ll leave. Or if you’d prefer to talk to someone you don’t know, we can do that too. Anything you need.”

The sudden tightness of Nancy’s grip is unexpected, as is the flash of panic in her eyes.

“Please, don’t go,” she whispers. “I don’t—” She cuts herself off, shutting her eyes and breathing slowly for a few seconds. Slowly, her hold on Carlos begins to loosen until her hand is slack in his, then she draws both hands into her lap and straightens in her chair. When her eyes reopen, she seems more like the Nancy Carlos knows—strong, confident, assertive—though there’s still clearly an undercurrent of fear underneath it all.

“I’m fine. Let’s do this.”

Carlos bites back an are you sure and settles for clicking his pen, his smile unwavering. “Can you run me through what happened, exactly?” he asks. “Take your time.”

A second or two passes, then Nancy nods, her voice steady when she speaks. “I was restocking the bus at the end of shift. I was alone; Captain Vega was in her office and TK was with the others in the showers—he did try to help but he’d had to go into a fire on our last call to help a patient and the smell of smoke was giving me a headache, so I told him to go.”

Carlos pauses in his note-taking, mentally filing that last piece of information away for follow-up as soon as he sees his boyfriend again. Judging by the amused quirk to Nancy’s eyebrow, she’s fully aware of where his mind has gone, so Carlos clears his throat and motions for her to continue, forcing his thoughts back to the present.

“Like I said, I was alone. I didn’t mind it; it was kind of relaxing, you know? Then this guy appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at me, saying if I called out or turned on the siren or anything, he’d shoot. I thought—” She inhales sharply, her knuckles going white on the tabletop and her jaw clenching tightly. Her voice sounds different when she next speaks, more controlled, as though forcing each word out. “I thought it was happening again. I thought he was going to take me somewhere, make me his personal pet paramedic, something like that.

“Turns out, he just wanted drugs. I gave him what we had on the rig and he seemed satisfied, so I figured he’d shoot me anyway ‘cause I’d seen his face, right? He didn’t—obviously—but it looked like he was considering it.” Nancy pauses and flicks her gaze up at Carlos, biting her lip. “I think he might have done it,” she admits quietly, “but he got spooked by one of the guys making noise so he just bolted. I’m not sure how long it was between that and TK coming back and finding me. I’m sorry.”

Carlos shakes his head. “It’s okay. We can check the cameras at the station. With luck, that should get us an ID, maybe a license plate if he drove. I think that’s almost everything; just one more question, if that’s okay. Can you tell me what you gave him exactly?”

Nancy nods. “Morphine, Ativan, tramadol… I’d have to check stocks for the exact amounts.”

“We’ll do that, don’t worry about it.” Carlos taps his pen on the pages before flipping his notebook shut and leaning across the table again. “Are you okay?” he asks softly. “Speaking as a friend and not a cop, if there’s anything you need, anything I can help with, let me know.”

She smiles wanly. “I’m okay. I just want to go home and forget all this ever happened.”

“Fair enough. I’ll walk you out to your car.”

Carlos half-expects her to brush him off, but she just nods and allows him to escort her back through the precinct and out to her car. He dithers awkwardly, shuffling his feet as Nancy turns to him, one hand on the door handle.

“Thank you, Carlos. For real. I have the feeling it wasn't a coincidence that you were the one in that room with me.”

The tips of Carlos’s ears go pink as he finds himself caught out. “That, uh… That would not be inaccurate.”

“Well, thanks.” She pulls open the car door and Carlos takes a step back, wanting to wait until she’s safely away to go back inside. Nancy ducks as if to get in, then pauses and straightens again, biting her lip as she looks back at him.

“Hey, Carlos?” she says. “Can you do me a favour and not tell the others? Not even TK. They— They know vaguely what happened, but I’d prefer it if the details and, uh, some of the other stuff I told you could be kept between us.”

He agrees immediately, just grateful that she trusts him enough to handle this for her. “No-one will know any more than they need to,” he promises, which seems to relieve her. She thanks him again, then gets in the car and drives away, Carlos watching after her with one hand raised in farewell.

*

It grows from there.

It’s not intentional exactly, but one text to check up on her soon turns into a steady stream of messages, stories and jokes and even the occasional meme passing back and forth between them. Carlos especially appreciated Nancy's carefully curated collection of dirt on TK, which, as a concerned boyfriend, it is his duty to know. Many a conversation has been spent griping about TK's accident prone ways or sighing over his latest mishap.

Lovingly, of course.

Nancy, 15.48: you’ll never guess what happened this time

Carlos, 16.22: ?

In answer, he receives a picture of a dejected-looking TK sprawled on the floor with Buttercup’s front paws squarely resting on his chest. Buttercup’s tongue is lolling out, a wide grin on his face, and in the background stand the rest of the crew. All of them also seem to have their phones pointed towards TK—probably the reason TK looks so down, as Carlos knows his boyfriend couldn’t be upset with Buttercup to save his life.

Nancy, 16.26: he thought he’d try to teach buttercup some tricks. turns out, dog trainers exist for a reason

Carlos has to stifle a laugh—technically, he is supposed to be working—but his attempt at being subtle is thwarted when his phone repeatedly pings with similar texts and photos from Paul, Marjan, and Mateo. He screenshots the sudden influx of notifications and sends it to Nancy before saving every single photo.

Nancy responds with a laughing emoji and a promise to keep him updated.

*

Not all of their conversations are about TK, naturally.

Carlos, 19.10: I don’t understand why you don’t just talk to her

Nancy, 19.12: i do talk to her. every shift, actually

Carlos, 19.13: Nancy

Nancy, 19.13: carlos

Nancy, 19.14: i don’t even know if she’s into women, alright? it’s not like i can just march up and ask, that’s like waving a banner saying ‘hey, i’m in love with you’ in her face

Carlos, 19.16: Oh, we’re talking about love now, are we?

Nancy, 19.17: can it, reyes

Carlos, 19.20: Noted. Look, take it from someone who’s been navigating gay relationships in Texas his whole life. Sometimes you just have to go for it. Ask her for coffee, test the waters, see where it leads. You never know, it might work out. I mean, look at me

Nancy, 19.24: wow, way to rub your happiness in my face 😑

(Carlos doesn’t find out if she follows his advice, but he does notice her and Marjan showing up to their hangs together)

(Nancy does not appreciate his smugness)

*

Without even realising, they become a formidable team. This fact is highlighted one game night about three months after the incident, when Nancy and Marjan blow into his and TK’s house, a determined glint in both their eyes.

“We’re switching up the teams,” Marjan declares, much to TK’s outrage.

“What? Why?”

“Because,” Nancy continues, “we’re tired of losing to you guys. You’re like, freakishly good at board games and it’s not fair. Plus, we have to watch you both being all lovey all the time when you’re on the same team and it’s exhausting. We want to see you being competitive for once.”

TK pouts, but Carlos just shrugs when he looks to him for backup. “It’ll be fun,” he says, smiling at Nancy and Marjan. TK still looks put out, so he leans in close and half-murmurs, “C’mon babe. How about a prize for the winner?”

TK perks up considerably at the suggestion, and, going by the twin looks of despair on Nancy and Marjan’s faces, they caught both the comment and the innuendo. Marjan groans and Nancy raises her eyes skyward, as if pleading for divine intervention.

“This was a great idea, actually,” TK says, grinning. He quirks an eyebrow at Nancy. “You and me, Nance?”

That seems to shake Nancy out of her silent prayers for strength. “Uh, no. I’m with Carlos.” To emphasise the point, she strides forward and grabs Carlos’s arm, dragging him to the couch. He nudges her gently when they sit, smirking at the disgruntled way she digs into the snack bowl.

“You did say you wanted to see us being competitive.”

“Shut up.”

*

In the end, TK ends up paired with Mateo, and Marjan with Paul. It’s clear from the outset who’s going to win—Nancy and Carlos dominate the board, and not even Paul’s master strategy is enough to catch up with them.

They win by a comfortable margin, fist-bumping in celebration. There’s a general air of bemusement in the room, and when Carlos looks round at the others, he finds four pairs of eyes fixed on them.

“What?”

“Since when have you two been such a good team?” Paul asks, leaning back in his chair and raising an eyebrow.

Carlos shrugs, sharing a smile with Nancy. “Guess we just are.”

[slow-button-off]

I was looking back at posts about Austria and I think the comments Carlos made after the sprint tell us all we need to know about his mentality for the championship. He said that Max was too quick and that the Ferraris weren’t going to be able to catch him. That statement in itself shows that he’s not the guy to be fighting for this championship. Charles has made it clear from day 1 that he is ready to fight max and we’ve seen many times now that he’s capable of doing so. Carlos wasn’t concerned about Max and that is not the mentality you’d want of your 1st driver. This is no hate towards Carlos but his lack of desire to fight and beat Max makes it clear to me that his mind is not in it to fight for the championship this season. He’s even said his mind isn’t on the championship so if Ferrari want to give it their all, Charles as #1 just makes more sense. And this doesn’t mean Carlos shouldn’t fight for poles and race wins, but it means helping the team when he can and supporting Charles as much as possible. I think some of the Carlos fans think that Ferrari fans are saying Carlos shouldn’t fight for anything which isn’t true at all.

Hiya!

This turned out pretty long so it's hidden

Yeah those comments were super ill advised. Especially because Charles was so confident about their pace on the radio. That entire press conference was super awkward.

Carlos is a good driver and it is absolutely fine to want to beat your teammate and in general even for that to be your main goal. But when you are in a championship contending car it sounds a bit meh. And it sounds very bad to fans that have waited for some time to be back here.

That's kinda what baffles me that he says these things and then he is surprised that Charles seems to be the publics favourite.

This is his first year fighting for wins and I feel like that's obvious. You can see that he isn't entirely confident when he has someone like Max chasing him down. I don't think he has ever been able to keep him behind for long. And that's fine. Somethings just take time to learn.

But it's annoying when that gets in the way of the teammate that can do it and that has shown multiple times that he can do it.

Carlos deserves to win races. And Carlos deserves to be allowed to fight. Nobody is saying that Ferrari should just fuck him over each race for no reason. It's just that letting the faster driver through makes sense for the entire team. It makes sense to not have a driver ruin their tyres staying behind for 15 laps while the other one is using up all his battery and overcooking his tyres. And it makes sense to have a chat and not make each other lose time fighting for no reason over one point while the faster one is trying to save his tyres to get them in the right window to later be able to attack. And it makes even less sense to do so overcooking your tyres and using up your battery to the extent that it happened in Austria.

I still think that Ferrari are banking on Charles just being the faster one and then you don't have to have that conversation outside of the races. And that's fine but those decisions then have to happen faster during the race.

Also I've had a look at the Sprint and the top3 starting with lap 8 which was the lap right after the Ferraris stopped fighting.

If I had done this right after the Sprint I would've told you that we should keep in mind that maybe Max was just saving his tyres and managing the gap. But with hindsight it's pretty damning.

Carlos laptimes being super out of phase with the other two is really funny to me. (it's mainly caused by him having to back off at the start of this to nurse his tyres and recharge his battery)

But Charles was straight up faster in those laps. And now knowing of RBs tyre deg he definitely could've caught him imo.

The main thing for me I guess is that he needs to work on what he says. Because while he is being honest and that is commendable it just sounds bad in contrast to his teammate. And when you already seem uncomfortable with some favouritism by fans then you are really not helping yourself

[rafael-silva]

Gravitate Towards You: A Tarlos Fic

TK has a tiring shift, filled with the echo of the bell, sending them to one call after another. Whether at the firehouse or at home, Carlos is always there for TK. And after all, is there any better place to fall asleep than on your love's lap after a hectic twenty-four hour shift?

for the good things happen bingo prompt: tarlos + falling asleep on their lap

established tk strand/carlos reyes, hurt/comfort, emotional/hurt comfort, hugs, kisses, tk strand needs a hug, carlos gives him all the hugs, softness, protective carlos reyes 

3.7k | on ao3

*****

Carlos wakes up to a quiet house. He stifles a yawn, eyes still closed as he rolls over onto his right side, reaching out but is met with coldness when his hand falls onto the sheet. He peels one eyelid open and squints, not yet accustomed to the sunlight seeping into his bedroom through the blinds. It takes his mind a few seconds to catch up. Right, it’s his day off and TK is on a twenty-four hour shift, which after checking the clock on the nightstand, Carlos figures there’s still a little over twelve hours left in said shift.

They have days like these, where either their shifts don’t align or one of them has a day off while the other works. It’s not bad, though, it gives the chance for whoever isn’t working to really pamper and take care of the other when he’s home from a long day. Whether it’s drawing a warm bath or making a nice dinner, it’s always a treat to come home to. Something they look forward to after their hectic shifts.

Carlos remembers a couple of times he would come home to TK having cooked him dinner, usually something simple and straightforward, but with the firefighter’s track record in the kitchen, Carlos is always more than grateful for TK’s effort.

It’s a good thing you’re a firefighter, Carlos had playfully teased his boyfriend. You know, in case a spontaneous fire would erupt in the kitchen.

TK had rolled his eyes with a chuckle. Very funny, TK had replied, lightly pushing Carlos’s shoulder with his own. You do have a point, though.

But seriously, thank you, Carlos had said sincerely, it means a lot.

The meal was delicious, and Carlos was almost certain TK was on the phone with Grace the entire time he was cooking. But it was still TK’s cooking and effort.

You know you’re much better in the kitchen than you think you are, Carlos had told him. You have a lot of potential.

TK had blushed at the compliment, really glad that Carlos was enjoying the meal.

Back in his bed, Carlos smiles at the memory and moves to grab his phone, unplugging it and finding a text from TK.

TK: [2:07 AM] Just got back from a call. It was a tough one but everything turned out okay. Gonna get some sleep before the bell goes off again. Hope you’re sleeping well babe.

Carlos’s heart drops slightly at the first half of the text. He knows how hard TK takes rough calls and he wishes more than ever he could wrap his boyfriend in his arms and comfort him. He also knows TK has a strong support system at the 126, they’re family, so he’s positive TK is in good hands. He just wishes he could see TK and make sure he’s okay for himself.

He types a reply.

Carlos: [8:29 AM] Good morning, baby. I’m sorry to hear about the call, are you doing okay? I hope you managed to get some sleep. Sending you lots of hugs until I see you.

Carlos didn’t expect to get a reply within minutes. He had hoped that TK was getting some much-needed sleep.

He had just opened the blinds letting sun directly into the bedroom when his phone pings.

TK: [8:31 AM] Morning babe. Got a couple of hours of sleep but the bell had other plans, been in and out of the firehouse from then. It’s one of those shifts. On the way back now from another call. I’m okay, just smokey and super tired. Can’t wait to see you.

Carlos: [8:33 AM] Please be careful. A warm shower should help and try napping for a while. I can’t wait to see you too, baby.

Carlos was aware he was slipping to Protective Boyfriend Mode, but he couldn’t help it. Especially knowing that TK is running on very little sleep in such a hectic shift.

TK’s next reply confirms he, too, noticed Carlos’s protectiveness.

TK: [8:34 AM] I’ll be fine, don’t worry. A shower and a nap are definitely in order.

Carlos: [8:35 AM] I always worry. Get some rest, babe. Call me anytime.

TK smiles at Carlos’s text.

“Lover boy?” He hears Marjan tease, sitting across from him.

TK suspects the goofy smile on his face answers her probably rhetorical question because Marjan is smirking.

He looks up to see the truck pulling into the firehouse. He locks his phone, pocketing it and hopping out after Marjan and Paul. He stretches, his muscles really having a field day, carrying a slight ache as he moves.

“I’m gonna take a shower and hopefully nap before,” TK says, gesturing to the air around them, “you know, it goes off again.”

Judd clasps him on the shoulder as he walks past him, TK nodding at Owen as he makes his way towards the showers.

He turns the knob and water comes splashing down and he savors the feeling of the droplets rolling down his skin. The hot water relaxes his muscles and he stands under the spray for longer than strictly necessary to get clean yet he doesn’t move. Only when the water starts to get cooler than he shuts it off, changes into a clean uniform and walks into the bunk room. He looks at his bed and smiles when he sees Buttercup stretched out on the covers.

“Hey, boy,” TK calls out as he walks over.

Buttercup’s head shoots up at the sound of TK’s voice and he smiles at his favorite human, getting excited as TK gets closer.

TK ruffles Buttercup’s fur as the dog moves to make space for TK and TK sighs as his body finally hits the soft mattress, the tension seeping out of his skin.

Buttercup lays his head on TK’s stomach as the firefighter absentmindedly runs his fingers through the dog’s thick strands. He closes his eyes and he drifts off in no time.

*****

Carlos decides to make tamales for dinner, knowing they always bring a smile to TK’s face and happiness to his stomach. After having breakfast and his coffee, he quickly checks around his kitchen for the ingredients, but noticing he doesn’t have a few things, decides he’ll stop by the market. And then surprise TK at the firehouse. With the day his boyfriend is having, Carlos wants to do anything to cheer him up. And he also really needs to see TK for himself and hold him, needs to make sure he’s okay. He just hopes they won’t be out on a call when he arrives. Still, though, he’ll wait. He’ll wait for as long as it takes to see TK.

He tidies up around the house for a while before heading out, making the bed and putting on a load of laundry. Once he’s satisfied, he checks his email, answering the new ones that he’s received and then out of habit, double-checks his schedule.

It’s nearing eleven when he decides to head out, changing into a t-shirt and jeans and comfortable shoes. He gets an idea as he picks up his phone, keys and wallet.

He’ll be done at the market by twelve-thirty, and he’ll be at the firehouse by one, and that gives him the idea to cook lunch for the 126. Or whatever mean they’re meant to be having depending on who was sleeping when.

He’s almost positive none of them had a decent thing to eat all shift, between the number of calls they got and trying to sleep in between, he senses none of them had the heart or energy to cook. So they’re either snacking or eating fruit whenever they can, anything that’s easy and quick. And Carlos’s mom always told him that a tough day without at least good food is just pure wrong.

Nodding to himself, he adds a few more items to his mental list of groceries and closes the door behind him.

*****

TK doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep when the all-too familiar bell rings across the house. He gets out of bed, his body working on autopilot and thanks to muscle memory, he’s jumping into the truck in record time. He stops a yawn and wipes the sleep from his eyes, slipping into firefighter mode. He’s alert and ready when the truck comes to a halt at their scene.

*****

Disappointment sets into Carlos’s gut when he parks around the firehouse and sees that the truck isn’t there. And then he spots Buttercup sitting by the bay doors and remembers TK mentioning that the dog sits there while the team is out on a call. Buttercup gets up when he sees Carlos, no doubt happy about a familiar face and trots to the cop.

Carlos smile, leaning down to pat the dog’s head. “Hey, buddy.”

Buttercup gives him a smile and then turns to face the street.

Carlos follows Buttercup’s gaze. “They’re out, huh?” He finds himself also staring into the distance. He snaps himself back.

“Think they’d be up for a surprise?” Carlos asks.

Buttercup turning his head to the side in amusement is all the answer Carlos needs. He chuckles.

“Come on, let's make some food.”

The word food catches the dog’s attention and then he’s following Carlos into the house and into the kitchen. Buttercup sits by the island as Carlos starts gathering pans and opening the fridge to survey what they already have in the firehouse. He can work with what he finds and what he bought from the market.

*****

“Well, that took forever,” TK sighs, getting off the truck and taking his turnout coat off.

“That was an hour, max,” Judd replies.

“Yeah, well, felt like forever. This whole shift feels like it's taking forever.”

“Amen,” Paul nods.

They all file into the house, leaving TK standing outside and he fishes for his phone in his pocket. He wants to send Carlos a text to update him, but Judd calls his name before he can start typing.

“Hey, TK!”

“Yeah?” TK responds, holding his phone that’s opened to his chat with Carlos and walks into the house. The moment the delicious smell hits his senses, he immediately knows.

He quickly makes his way to the kitchen where his eyes confirm what he already knew, and his heart swells in his chest with so much love it could burst.

“Carlos,” TK breaths out, a smile growing on his face at the sight.

“Hey, baby,” Carlos replies, walking through the crew to get to TK.

The taller man wastes no time in wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, and TK quite literally falls against Carlos’s strong chest. Carlos supports most of TK’s weight, holding him tighter and TK pushes his face into Carlos’s neck. The sound of the crew chatting the background fades away, and in this moment, it’s just TK and Carlos.

“You’re here,” TK whispers, as if he were afraid he was imagining Carlos, but the steady grip and sturdy form tell him its anything but his imagination.

“I am,” Carlos nods, moving slightly to plant a kiss to TK’s temple.

TK hums happily.

“Needed to see you and make sure you were okay,” Carlos continues.

“Needed you,” TK says.

“I’m here.”

They stay like that for a few moments longer, until TK is pulling back and green irises meet brown, and they understand. They speak volumes without uttering a word. It’s comfort, it’s safety, it’s reassurance. It’s love.

Carlos closes the gap between them with a soft kiss brushed against TK’s lips.

Buttercup walks over to them, looking up between the two men, and sensing his presence, TK looks down.

“Looks like someone wants attention, too,” Carlos chuckles.

TK leans down and kisses Buttercup’s head and then gives him a hug, which satisfies the dog.

It’s TK who chuckles now when his stomach growls. He looks back up at Carlos. “It smells so good.”

“Let’s eat,” Carlos smiles.

Just as he’s moving away, TK catches his hand and Carlos turns to look at TK.

“Hey, thank you. For being here, and for the food. But mostly for being here,” TK expresses.

Carlos replies by raising their joined hands and kissing TK’s knuckles.

“It’s nothing fancy,” Carlos address the group, “just spaghetti with red sauce and chicken, but I knew you’re having a hell of a shift and didn’t want you to worry about cooking on top of that, so…”

“Bless you, Reyes,” Judd says. “Thank you, brother.”

“You,” Owen starts, walking over to Carlos and patting him on the shoulder, “are a good man, Carlos.”

“It was nothing, really. I’m happy to do it,” Carlos replies.

Next thing, everyone is reaching for plates and serving food for each other. Carlos steps outside of the kitchen area and TK joins him.

“This means a lot,” TK says, looking at Carlos with a silver sparkle in his eyes.

“Lunch?” Carlos smirks.

TK playfully rolls his eyes. “The thought,” he raises his eyebrow.

“It really was nothing. It dawned on me when I was leaving to get things for our dinner tonight, I thought you all need it.”

“We do,” TK nods. “I feel like we’re borrowing energy from each other at this point.”

Carlos nods, understanding. “I get it.”

“What’s for dinner tonight?” TK asks.

“That’s a surprise,” Carlos wiggles his eyebrows.

“You’re full of surprises today, aren’t you?” TK teases.

“Always, Tiger,” Carlos leans in and kisses TK’s cheek. “Now let’s get you a plate before there’s nothing left.”

“This is incredibly good,” Paul speaks. “You’re a lucky man, TK.”

“That I am,” TK responds with a wide smile.

Carlos looks at him with so much admiration and affection, TK’s heart skips a beat.

They’re all chatting in separate groups, occasionally bouncing between the different conversations when the bell goes off.

There’s a simultaneous groan as they get to their feet in union.

“At least we got to eat,” TK shrugs, following.

Carlos stands up, giving TK a hug. “I’ll go to my mom’s and then head home to make dinner.”

TK nods, holding onto Carlos. “Tell her I said hi. And I’ll update you.”

“Please be careful,” Carlos repeats from earlier in the day.

TK pulls back, gives him a smile and seals the promise with a gentle kiss to Carlos’s lips.

“I’ll see you at home,” TK says as he walks towards the truck.

Carlos stands in his place, eventually hearing the sirens wail and slowly, their sound gets lower and lower until he’s engulfed in silence.

He didn’t want to let go of TK, he wanted to keep him safe and sound, but he knew TK had to go, that it’s TK’s job to go, and TK is damn good at his job. Carlos wholeheartedly trusts that, but the truth is, every time he holds TK, it gets a little harder to let him go.

He draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

He looks at Buttercup to see him lying on the floor with his head settled on his paws.

“Come on, Buttercup. Let’s tidy up.”

The dog is happy to be included.

Carlos packs the leftover food and stores it in the fridge, then moves to wash the dishes and puts them on the rack to dry. He looks around the living area, the couch pillows thrown around haphazardly and realizes the tv is still turned on. He swiftly moves around, putting everything into order and switching off the tv. Satisfied, he starts making his way to his car.  

Buttercup follows him until he’s at the bay doors.

“I’ll see you soon,” Carlos ruffles Buttercup’s fur.

Buttercup gives him a smile.

*****

True to his word, TK texts Carlos when he has the chance. Carlos is still at his mother’s house, sitting on her porch, enjoying the sun while nursing a cool glass of freshly-squeezed lemonade.

He reaches for his phone when it pings next to him on the table.

TK: [4:19 PM] Hey, babe. Back at the firehouse, safe and sound. Got called to another scene after that call without coming back to the house.

TK: [4:20 PM] And thank you for cleaning up. The guys were worrying about that and trying to decide who will end up taking care of it on the way back. But then, well, I have the most amazing boyfriend. *heart emoji*

Carlos smiles at TK’s messages and starts typing back his reply.

Carlos:  [4:21 PM] Glad you’re safe and okay, baby. And it was nothing, I’m happy to help in any way. I’m the lucky one here.

They exchanged a few quick texts until TK tells Carlos he’s going to shower and nap again.

“Tyler?” Carlos’s mom asks, already knowing the answer from the smile drawn on her son’s face.

Carlos chuckles, nodding. “He’s still on shift, it’s been a rough one.”

“Is he okay?” She asks, concern coating her voice.

Carlos nods. “He is, he’s really tired. But hopefully good food and some rest will help.”

“Si, mijo. Those are the two main ingredients for feeling better,” she smiles.

Carlos gets up, taking his mom’s empty glass.

“I learned that from the best,” he leans down, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “More lemonade?”

*****

TK and Carlos’s texts go quiet as the hours pass by. Carlos had left his mom’s house soon after they shared their refilled lemonade glasses and he got to cooking dinner as soon as he arrived home. Carlos had sent the firefighter a text telling him he was home and waiting for him, with no reply until now.

Carlos hopes that TK is sleeping rather than being on a call.

He’s sitting back on the couch, mindlessly watching a movie on tv when his phone pings next to him. It’s only then he notices the time, and realizes TK’s shift just ended.

TK: [9:06 PM] Waiting for the Uber, babe. Can’t wait to see you.

Carlos smiles as he writes back.

Carlos: [9:07 PM] Can’t wait to see you too, baby. Waiting for you.

The firehouse is about twenty-five minutes away from Carlos’s place, so that gives Carlos enough time to add the finishing touches to the tamales so they’re ready once TK walks through the door.

Just as he calculated, Carlos hears keys jiggling on the other side of the door that’s being pushed open a second later, and walks in his boyfriend. His beautiful, loving and absolutely exhausted boyfriend who looks like he’s about five seconds away from falling asleep, even if it’s while standing up.

Carlos walks to him as TK drops his keys on the table near the door.

“Welcome home, Tiger,” Carlos smiles, engulfing TK in a gentle yet anchoring hug.

“Hey, babe,” TK replies, his voice a little muffled by Carlos’s t-shirt.

“I got you,” Carlos whispers, feeling TK lean heavily against him and holds him tighter in response.

“You always do,” TK whispers back, slightly moving his face so he can press a kiss to the side of Carlos’s neck.

“And I always will,” Carlos promises. “As much as I’m enjoying holding you, baby, you need to eat. Dinner is ready.”

TK nods, pulling back. “Just let me change real quick.”

“Take your time,” Carlos answers, brushing a soft kiss to TK’s lips.

TK returns a few minutes later, wearing Carlos’s Police Academy hoodie and comfortable black sweats. He sees Carlos is done placing everything on the dining table and joins his boyfriend.

“I feel like I don’t say it enough, but I’m really so lucky to have you,” TK says, giving Carlos a tired, but genuine and loving smile. “You take such good care of me.”

“You take very good care of me, too,” Carlos replies. “We take care of each other. And I feel just as lucky to have you.”

TK’s stomach rumbles at the sight and smell of the tamales, and Carlos chuckles and holds TK’s plate, placing the heavenly smelling food on it and giving it back to the younger man.

“You knew tamales would help, didn’t you?”  

Carlos’s response is wiggling his eyebrows.

They eat mostly in comfortable silence, TK updating Carlos about the calls they got every now and then around mouthfuls of tamales. Once they’re done, TK moves to sit on the couch while Carlos stores the leftovers and puts them in the fridge. He then moves around the couch, placing his hands on TK’s shoulders and drops a kiss to TK’s head.

“Bed?” TK shakes his head, lifting his hand to clasp Carlos’s on his shoulder. “Want to sit with you for a while before sleeping.”

TK pulls on Carlos’s arm, and the taller man understands. He walks around the couch and falls back on the cushion next to TK. TK immediately gravitates towards Carlos and lets his head rest on Carlos’s shoulder. Carlos wraps an arm around TK, holding him close. Carlos tenderly kisses TK’s temple.

Slowly, TK starts to move his body as sleep begins to pull at him more and more. Eventually, he ends up lying on his side with his head settled on Carlos’s lap. TK relaxes, his muscles feeling like jelly against the couch, and the reassuring and present grounding touch of Carlos’s hand as it caresses up and down TK’s back is the final element that lulls him to sleep.

TK drifts off, feeling safe and secure in his love’s hold.

A few minutes pass by until Carlos realizes that TK has fallen asleep. A smile tugs on his face as he keeps moving his hand, knowing how much it comforts TK and from how peaceful his face is looking right now compared to how Carlos has seen TK all day, Carlos knows it’s exactly what TK needs.

Carlos decides to let TK sleep like this for some more time while making sure TK’s neck isn’t at an awkward angle and won’t strain. Because TK’s presence next to him, the even breaths TK draws in and lets out, the weight of TK’s head on his lap, it’s grounding for Carlos, too. It’s grounding that he needs, as well.

And Carlos wouldn’t change this moment for anything in the world. Because TK is here, TK is safe, TK is in his arms.

Yeah, he wouldn’t change this for anything.

[toosicktoocare]

like father, like son

Spoilers for 911 Lone Star below!

A fic no one asked for: TK winds up sick because he’s not sleeping well since learning about his dad’s diagnosis and because he’s pushing himself too hard to be a better son. (Also, Carlos doesn’t really vibe with fever sex.) 

The dreams don’t actually start until a few days after his talk with his dad, after a moment of pure, unfiltered vulnerability spanning from one to the other, but when they do finally start to plague his sleep, they’re terrifying, encompassing his every fear into twisted images of dirty hospitals, blood splashing against walls from violent coughs, two large, decaying organs pressing against him, suffocating him, and his father, withering away before his eyes.

After jerking awake in a cold sweat two nights in a row, TK forgoes sleep because he would much rather take fatigue any day over the spoiled visuals that seem to stain his thoughts, even when he’s awake. He, instead, takes to the internet when he should be resting, researching the side effects of chemo, what to look out for, what dialogue could cause potential triggers, and the most important, the one he’s most determined to achieve by any means necessary, how to care for a cancer patient. 

He sleeps only a little, catching one to three hours a day but subconsciously not allowing his body to slip into REM, and his growing exhaustion goes relatively unnoticed until he wakes at three am after nodding off in a chair in his room with a medical book on his lap to a scratchy throat and a slight hint of pressure pushing behind his eyes. 

He slips to his feet, quietly resting the book on the chair, and he pads softly across his room to the bathroom, flicking the lights on with a wide yawn. His reflection leaves much to be desired, a pale, drawn man with deep purple bags under his eyes staring back at him. 

“Shit,” he mutters, a low whistle, almost impressed with how terrible he’s managed to look, but then he’s turning to cough lightly into the crook of his arm until he’s wincing from the uncomfortable tingle that almost burns against his throat. He hunches over the sink, splashing cool water on his face, and then he’s reaching for the ibuprofen, but when he can hear gagging from his dad’s bedroom, he drops the pill bottle, the loud clattering and rolling fading in the distance as he races out his room. 

“Dad?” He shoves his dad’s bathroom door open to see him curled around the toilet, shoulders shaking slightly. The panic in his eyes fades to sympathetic concern, a look he’s been sporting far too much over the last few days, and he crouches beside his dad, dropping a hand to his back to feel his muscles convulsing under his palm. Wincing, he smooths his palm up and down his dad’s back, repeating the action, just as his dad would do for him, until Owen’s finally reaching up to flush the toilet with a groan. 

“Sorry I woke you,” Owen rasps out, and TK’s eyes fall just a little. 

“You didn’t,” he reassures, spitting out a quick lie when Owen frowns at him. “I was already up. Had to piss.” 

“Creepy timing,” Owen says around a weak laugh. “Didn’t realize my stomach and your bladder were in sync.” 

Rolling his eyes, TK gets to his feet, reaching a hand out toward Owen. “You’re so weird,” he mutters when Owen’s hand finds his. He pulls him to his feet, a frown threatening to pull at his lips at the ease. His dad’s been dropping weight, and for just a moment, he’s almost pulled back to too-vivid images, but he shakes his head, willing the fear away. 

“You done?”

He keeps close to his dad when he sidesteps around him to the sink to rinse his mouth out, eyes trained to the slight tremor in his dad’s steps. 

“Yeah,” Owen groans, frowning at his reflection, and TK meets his eyes through the mirror. They share a silent conversation. They’ve been doing that a lot since they talked, neither knowing how to verbally convey what their eyes are practically screaming. 

“Are you alright?” Owen finally asks, turning from TK’s pale reflection to see if it’s merely a trick of the light or if his son truly looks ill. His frown deepens, concern taking over his forehead in deep worry lines, when TK’s poor image appears to not be just a trick of the mirror. “You look exhausted.” 

“I’m fine,” TK says easily, and he doesn’t fight it when Owen reaches the back of his hand to his forehead, only watching with a gaze that’s almost struggling to be patient. 

“You don’t feel feverish,” Owen mutters, stepping back to asses his son with a long, studious gaze, taking in the dark circles colored under his eyes, his slumped posture, and his almost sunken face. “Have you been sleeping?”

TK makes to answer, to reassure his dad that he’s completely fine, but Owen continues, not letting him sneak a word in. 

“I know it can be hard to shut your mind off, especially after learning about all of this.” He gestures weakly toward himself. “But, we can tell your therapist--” 

“Dad,” TK groans, turning toward the door. “I said I’m fine.” ‘I’m not the one with cancer’ is what he wants to follow with, but the mere thought stabs at his chest like a dagger that’s on fire, so, instead, he looks over his shoulder, smiling softly. “Stop worrying about me and go get more rest, old man.” 

The smile grows wide and genuine at Owen’s mock dismay, the latter even going so far as to slap a hand to his chest. “Tyler Kennedy Strand, you take that back right this second!” 

“The number doesn’t lie,” TK laughs out, running when Owen shoots after him, and he takes the light punches to his back, stopping only when Owen turns away to cough harshly. Tension flicks across TK’s muscles, and he spins around, frowning. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Owen breathes out, catching his breath. “Stop looking at me like that. You’re going to wrinkle.” 

“You are unbelievable,” TK spits out around a huff of a laugh as he turns to leave the room, calling out his goodnight as he shuffles back into his room. It’s almost 3:30 now, and his alarm is set for 6. His muscles are aching for his bed, but his heart’s been the only one allowed to make decisions as of late. He bypasses his bed and slips his sneakers on, waiting until he hears Owen’s soft snores before he slips out of the house for a run. 

*****

“Not to be an asshole or anything, but you look like shit.” 

TK’s hand freezes mid rub at his helmet, and he drags a narrow gaze up to Judd. “Good morning to you, too.” He frowns a little, the crack in his voice betraying him, and he pulls his gaze back to his helmet, ignoring Judd when the latter takes a seat beside him. 

“TK, man, what’s going on? You’ve been looking like a zombie for a week now, and you’re starting to sound like one, too.”

“I’m fine,” TK grumbles, but the few coughs that slip past his pursed lips say otherwise, and he can see Judd tense slightly beside him through his peripherals. 

“It’s your dad, isn’t it?” Judd leans toward TK, keeping his voice low, and TK twists his gaze over until he’s meeting Judd’s surprisingly soft eyes. The look alone has his shoulders slumping, and he sighs lowly. 

“It’s just a lot to take in, and I’m trying to do better.” If he’s not dissecting each google page or medical book, he’s catering to his dad’s every need, cooking for him, supporting him as much as possible while out on the line, and being at his side through the nightly coughing fits and bouts of nausea. “I’m trying to take care of him,” he adds, voice almost a whisper, and Judd claps a hand to his shoulder. 

“You aren’t going to be any good to him if you drive yourself into the ground. You need a little break.” 

“I can’t--”

“--sorry to interrupt this little pow-wow, boys,” Owen cuts in, talking loud enough to gather the attention of his entire team. “But I’ve just received an invitation to the bar tonight, so make sure you bring your dancing shoes!” 

TK doesn’t miss the way Michelle stops to roll her eyes before she hoists herself up into the back of an ambulance, but then his dad’s talking directly to him, voice carrying over the hollers from the others. 

“You’ll come, right?” He leans forward, whispering. “Michelle said Carlos will be there--”

“--Dad!” TK hisses out sharply, and the heat that creeps to his cheeks is evident, enough so to have Judd bellowing out a laugh beside him. 

*****

TK excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving his mineral water with Carlos as he maneuvers around bar-goers until he’s shoving the bathroom door open just as his lungs burst. He buries his face into the crook of his arm, coughing harshly. He’s been getting worse as the day’s dragged on, and it’s been getting harder to keep it to himself. He started spiking a low-grade fever toward the end of his shift, and if the chill clinging to him is anything to go by, he’d say it’s definitely spiking. 

He feels like shit, point blank utter shit. His muscles are aching, but not like they do after a particularly hard shift. They’re almost throbbing, feeling oddly restless, and his head’s pounding, behind his eyes, across his forehead, all the way to drum at his temples. Worse, though, he can’t seem to shut his mind off, not even with Carlos and his unfair muscles by his side. 

He takes just a few moments to splash cold water over his burning face, sniffling lightly when he dries his face, and then he leaves, coughing weakly into his fist as he moves back around drunks and dancing until he’s bumping Carlos’ shoulder. 

“Your dad just yee-hawed half the people off the dance floor,” Carlos shouts over the music, and TK shoots a gaze to see his dad moving through some weirdly graceful mock lasso toss. 

“Marjan got the entire thing on video,” Carlos adds, nodding across the room, and TK follows his gaze with a half-hearted laugh. 

“Hey,” Carlos’ voice is softer this time, almost gentle, and TK pulls his eyes to his, frowning slightly as he tilts his head. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” He leans in close to TK’s ear, and TK shudders against his hot breath. 

“I don’t know about you, but this place is kind of blowing my vibe, and my couch is really lonely--”

A quick distraction that TK smiles at, lips curling up almost deviously, and he nods quickly, allowing Carlos to pull him toward the exit. He spares a glance over his shoulder, fear suddenly gripping at his heart, but then he sees Michelle laughing as Owen spins her around the dance floor. It’s fine, he tells himself. He’s with the EMT Captain. 

He doesn’t mean to catch Judd’s eyes, but he does, and Judd nods once, an almost silent reassurance that TK clings to as Carlos all but drags him out of the bar. 

*****

TK’s melting against Carlos’ forceful touch, his body moving in sync with Carlos’ smooth movements. Their lips are molding to each other, their tongues battling, and when Carlos pulls away, dragging his bottom lip with him in a gentle bite for just a moment, he groans, back arching when Carlos drags sharp kisses down his neck. He’s almost lost completely to Carlos, but then Carlos is mumbling against his neck. 

“God, you’re on fire.” He nips at TK’s neck, almost drinking in the heat pouring off of him, and TK huffs around a small shiver, still feeling oddly cold despite being swallowed by the heat of Carlos’ muscles.

“Weird,” he grunts, a light moan slipping past his lips when Carlos’ hand trails down his stomach. “I’m actually freezing.” It’s a small slip-up, lost briefly in a moment of pure honesty, and then Carlos is pulling away quickly, a frown plastered to his lips. 

He’s hovering just above TK, hands pressed to the couch beside TK’s head, and his eyes are working over TK’s face. “You’re cold?” 

TK doesn’t really see the big deal because it’s probably just cold in Carlos’ apartment with the AC purring quietly in the background, so he nods, and then Carlos is rolling off of him and starting out of the room. 

“Carlos, what the fuck?” He shouts, his throat burning with each word until he turns to cough into the crook of his arm harshly. When he catches his breath, he turns his gaze to see Carlos walking toward him with a digital thermometer in his hand. 

“Doctor kink?” he starts, both brows raised, “I mean, if that’s your thing, I can get behind that--”

“TK, shut the fuck up and put this under your tongue.” 

TK opens his mouth to argue, but Carlos shoves the tip of the thermometer into his mouth, and he can’t do anything but oblige, slipping it under his tongue as he keeps a steady gaze to Carlos’ almost angry one. When the thermometer beeps, he moves to grab it, but Carlos is faster by a long shot, more so against TK’s sore muscles, and he frowns at the 102.2 degree reading, dropping it to TK’s hand as he presses a palm to TK’s forehead. 

“Woah,” TK breathes out at the reading, frowning deeply. He knew he had been running a low-grade, but this is way higher than he expected. “Shit,” he curses, eyes flying from the device to Carlos. “I’m sorry,” he spits out, but then his lungs quake with a need to cough, and he turns away from Carlos, coughing harshly into the crook of his arm. 

When he can suck in a deep breath without the burning need to cough more, he spares a hesitant glance back to see pure, dripping worry coloring Carlos’ eyes. 

“In the SUV earlier,” Carlos mutters, almost more to himself, “when you were coughing and said you accidentally inhaled some smoke on a call earlier. I should have known then.” He reaches over TK’s shoulder for a blanket folded on the back of his couch and drapes it over TK’s slightly trembling shoulders, and TK watches his every move. 

“Why didn’t you say earlier? I wouldn’t have pushed you--”

“--I wanted the distraction,” TK admits, surprising even himself. With the gig up, with Carlos staring at him with such consuming worry, he sinks back against the couch, allowing his illness to fully sweep over his body. He shivers, pulling the blanket tighter around himself, and he tilts his head against the back of the couch, eyes finding the ceiling. 

“A distraction from what?” Carlos pushes gently, careful to not tiptoe over into boyfriend territory. 

“Everything,” TK mutters around a weak cough, and he rolls his head to the side when Carlos lays a gentle hand to his covered knee, a small sign of encouragement that he’s listening but not forcing. 

“If I say I’m not ready to talk about it right now, will you not ask about it?”

Carlos considers this, and while the urge to push past TK’s wall is as hot as the latter’s fever, he nods slowly. “You can stay the night,” he says instead, moving with the need to see TK through what he’s sure is either a really bad cold or maybe the flu.

“I can’t,” TK starts, and he pushes the blanket away, making to stand, but his vision wavers, gray dots dancing across his eyes, and Carlos is quick on his feet, snaking a strong arm around TK’s waist and guiding him back down to the couch. 

“Why not? You can’t even walk.”

“My dad,” TK mutters, leaning heavily against Carlos. “I need to be with him... He needs someone with him to make sure he’s okay.” The panic from before, from leaving his father alone, hits him like a bucket of ice water being tossed over his head, and he’s shaking hard in Carlos’ grip, both from fever and fear, but Carlos’ only tightens his hold, a beacon of steady warmth he’s almost afraid to get too close to. 

Carlos really wants to ask about this because Owen seems fine, but the desperation clinging to TK’s tone has him considering his words. “I can call Michelle--”

“--no,” TK mutters, coughing against Carlos’ shoulder. “Judd. He’s the only other one who knows.” 

Carlos eases TK back against the couch, worry pulling at his heart as TK coughs and shivers and curls in on himself. “I’ll call Judd,” he starts, gaze drifting to the door for a moment. “Promise you won’t run?” 

“Couldn’t even if I tried,” TK chatters out, teeth clacking together, and Carlos makes quick work of calling Judd, rattling off what he knows. 

Judd’s worry on the other line of the phone apparently stretches back to a few days prior, and when he mentions he’s not sure that TK’s been sleeping, a pit grows in Carlos’ stomach, uncomfortable against the heavy weight of concern. 

Their conversation isn’t long, ending when Judd reassures him that he’ll keep an eye on Owen and will even make an excuse for TK’s absence. After, Carlos makes quick work of guiding TK to his bedroom. TK’s frighteningly compliant, only fighting him when he tries to pull an “Austin Police Department” hoodie over his head, snagging it from the back of a chair in his bedroom. 

“You’ll overheat,” Carlos tries, but TK somehow manages to pull the hoodie over his bare torso, and Carlos can’t say no when TK looks at him, cheeks flushed, hair sticking up at different ends, the sleeves of his hoodie pulled over his shaking hands, and the hem just covering a small part of TK’s bare thighs.

“Fine,” he mutters, breathing through a few curses as he helps TK into bed. He turns to get medicine for the fever, but TK’s hand is suddenly latching onto his wrist, surprisingly strong, and when he turns around, TK’s eyes, though glassy, are bright and aware. 

“Don’t.” 

“I’m just going to get some medicine--”

“--I can’t sleep,” TK admits, fingers digging into Carlos wrists as he coughs harshly. “I haven’t slept in a week.” 

“Jesus, TK,” Carlos breathes out. He’s getting more and more pieces of the puzzle that is Tyler Kennedy Strand, but the borders, the ones that support the picture, are still missing, as well as some middle chunks. “Why--”

“--you said you wouldn’t ask.” 

“Sorry,” Carlos mutters. “I’m just going to get medicine, and then I’ll come right back.” TK’s hand drops to the bed, eyes momentarily flicking to a color of fear that has Carlos rushing to the bathroom for ibuprofen and water. 

TK takes the medicine without question, wanting to rid his body of this shitty feeling just as much as Carlos does, and then Carlos slips some pants on and climbs into the bed, resting his back against the headboard, and TK watches him, eyes impossibly tired. 

“Do you think you can try to sleep? I’ll stay awake if you need me.”

“Judd’s with my dad?” TK asks, and when Carlos nods, he nods back, curling around Carlos’ hips, head resting against his thigh. He’s a little afraid to let his eyes slip closed, aware that he won’t have the control to not slip into REM, but when Carlos drops a careful hand to his hair, fingers carding softly through it, the fear eases a little, and he hums softly. 

“Is this okay? Have I gone too far into boyfriend territory?” 

“You have,” TK mutters around a yawn that’s followed by a few weak coughs. “But it’s okay for tonight.”