#like bro why am i inside and literally trembling from the cold

[0nlyyangel]

i’m cold, think i’m catching ANOTHER cold, and have a headache, and about to start my period. and i want to be held while i sleep. don’t want to see people anymore. don’t want to work. don’t want to work on this assignment due in 24 hours that’s barely started (at least 16 of those hours are for commuting, work and sleep)

[luminari-mc]

My Human, My Sunshine - Part 1

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort.

Pairing: GN!MC x Mammon

Word count: 5194

Summary: Mammon finds himself lost in the human world. Meanwhile, MC can't get ahold of Solomon, their phone dead silent.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: My first writing piece for Obey Me! It's kind of a long one so I recommend you grab a snack or two during it. While this part is occupied by a good amount of text messages between Mammon and someone else, I'm already thinking of writing a part 2 which will have way more dialogue. In the meantime, please enjoy this little scenario I came up with after listening to a song that set me in an angsty mood. :)

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Wet. Cold. Exhausted. And completely lost.

Mammon felt all of those, and yet, his legs kept on marching into the dead of night, his jacket covering his head despite being too drenched to protect him from the rain anymore. Each time a droplet of water came rolling on his cheek, his wrist would come to brush it off, and Mammon would let out an annoyed groan. If only there were any shops open, but the city was definitely asleep. He was thankful for the crashing sound of the rain on the ground around him, along with the smell of the wet asphalt keeping himself awake, otherwise, he surely would have gone crazy by now. The demon had even lost count of how many hours he had been wandering through the streets, how many mailboxes he had checked, how few passersby he had come across, only to receive negative answers to his questions.

And so Mammon kept on walking, not sure where to go next. But he felt sure of one thing: he wouldn't stop moving until he had found what he was looking for. Be there rain, or no rain. Lost or not.

"Tch, the human world's weather really sucks..."

As he walked on the pavement, his brow furrowed from the lack of new clues as to where his destination was supposed to be. His eyes caught sight of a bakery he had already walked by earlier during the day, its gentle light piercing the darkness that had been accompanying him for far too long now. Mammon's brow furrowed slightly at the sight- he knew he had gone in circles time and time again, but seeing it confirmed once more rubbed him the wrong way. Despite that, he decided to walk towards it, and took shelter under the entrance's porch. Surely the owners wouldn't mind him checking his phone for a few minutes, right? Right.

Pinching between his fingers the precious D.D.D. he had tucked under his shirt to protect it from the rain, Mammon looked at the map again. His stomach dropped for the upteenth time upon seeing the address still showing in his search bar, the letters and numbers taunting him. A knot formed in his throat as he tried his best not to scream at his screen.

"It wasn't there, you idiot..."

His mouth formed into an angry pout. Mammon looked into the list of potential addresses he had made throughout the day, and all had been crossed out. He felt his jaw clench- not only was he left with no addresses, no other clues, no humans to help him, but also that stupid rain surely would keep on falling for the rest of the night.

He was truly cursed.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" Mammon groaned, his free hand reaching upward to grab at his hair in frustration.

Yes... that was a good question. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could ask help from any of his brothers, or from the angels. It had already been a miracle a witch he knew accepted to snuck him into the human world without anyone knowing, but there was no way he'd get any more help from her without offering his own life in exchange. And contacting Solomon was absolutely out of the question, for his own obvious reasons that he still was suspicious of the guy.

For the longest time in a while, Mammon felt alone. More alone than he had ever been before. He had promised himself to go on this search on his own, stupidly thinking that it'd be over by the end of the day, and look where that got him. Lost in the human world, on the verge of catching some nasty human virus from all this rain that had poured on him, and without anyone by his side.

The grip on his phone tightened, the hand holding it shaking slightly as the anger was starting to consume the demon. Even Mammon's patience had its limits, and he was starting to reach it.

"Dammit, where the hell are ya-"

A pathetic yelp escaped his mouth as he looked in fear at his phone, which had buzzed for a very short second in his palm. Wait, was it a notification? But from who? He had taken all the necessary precautions before leaving, so who was still able to reach his number?

His mind ran through all possibilities as he quickly checked his screen, the name of the sender making him open his eyes wide.

Leviathan: Mammon!!

Leviathan: Where are you???

Leviathan: You promised me you'd play this new game with me after coming home from RAD, don't tell me you forgot?? It's been HOURS.

Leviathan: Also the others say they can't reach your DDD and Lucifer is seriously pissed!

Leviathan: And I know you didn't break your DDD, that wouldn't explain why I can send texts now and the others still can't. Even though mine didn't work before.

Leviathan: But do you know how much time and effort it took me to find a way to bypass a blocked number?? Well guess what, the same amount of hours since you broke your promise!

Leviathan: You're reading this, right? Then send something! Anything!

Mammon backed even more into the porch of the shop, his eyes stuck to the screen of his phone. All of the blood rushing to his head suddenly made him forget he was cold in the first place. Of course Levi would be the first to find a way to contact him.

The demon's chest rose as he breathed in heavily, his hands slowly wrapping around the phone. It took him a hot minute to get ahold of his trembling fingers so as to not make any typos, his mind debating whether responding was a good idea or not, even as he hit the send button.

Mammon: Sorry Levi, gonna have to postpone the gaming session.

Mammon: I got business elsewhere and I'm not sure when I'll come back home, if ever.

Leviathan: Ew stop sounding so gloomy, you're almost starting to sound like me and tbh it would be kinda creepy.

Leviathan: That still doesn't tell me where you are! I know it's like a common thing for you to get into shady stuff on a regular basis but even Lucifer seems concerned, and weirdly enough he's not even trying to hide it???

Leviathan: He's been pacing back and forth in the common room for 20 minutes and won't let go of his phone it's starting to creep me out.

Leviathan: Hey huh, if you really were in big trouble you'd let us know, right? Like, even by typing a secret message to let us know that you got kidnapped or whatever?

Leviathan: Nevermind, I really don't see why you'd even get kidnapped, so it HAS to be that you chose to disappear by yourself.

Leviathan: But anyway! It's been 2 months now since everyone's been acting weird and I've seen and heard you enough to CLEARLY see that you're getting worse but finding trouble with witches or whatever won't help you feel better. And yes I know you've been faking being fine the entire time!! Don't think you can fool me!!

Leviathan: Believe me and the hundreds of figurines I bought!! I thought they'd help and it's somehow doing nothing, I feel like the worst fraud of an otaku EVER!!! How can I call myself an otaku when I can't even find joy anymore in the things that make an otaku what he is??

Leviathan: It's like I'm losing my identity! Wait no screw that, it's not just me, we've all been losing it!!

The three dots of a message being typed disappeared and reappeared, and Mammon couldn't do anything but watch the messages of his brother pop up one after another on his screen. A sense of guilt surfaced inside of him, and it only made him frown. It's not as if he hadn't thought about asking Levi for help, before getting himself into this mess... but for both of their sakes, he had decided that it had to be him coming here, and only him.

But suddenly, just as he expected his brother to send another message, the three dots disappeared, and didn't come back right away. Mammon's focus on his phone increased at the unexplained absence of new texts from Levi, and he waited, expecting him to continue the chain of messages he had started. But nothing followed.

It wasn't in Levi's habits to suddenly stop texting in the middle of a flood of texts. The demon gripped his phone tighter, worry beginning to grow within his mind. Was it because they were in different worlds that their phones couldn't reach properly? Or worse- had Lucifer found him out?

His heart almost skipped a beat as the three dots reappeared under his eyes, before letting another message pop up.

Leviathan: wait

Leviathan: waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait

Leviathan: OMG NO WAY

Leviathan: MAMMON TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING

Mammon: I literally haven't said anything?

Leviathan: YOU PERFECTLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Leviathan: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD RN??

Shit.

How did he even find out?! Well... he could only assume that it wouldn't take a genius to figure out where Mammon could have gone if not anywhere in the Devildom, but still, why did Levi have to type it out? His plan was supposed to be flawless after all.

Mammon: Sorry bro, I can't say where I am.

Mammon: I know Lucifer's bound to check all of your DDDs sooner or later and that's only gonna help him find me.

Mammon: And like I said, I have something to do, so I can't come back.

Leviathan: Wait! I'll delete all of our messages, and I'll even destroy my DDD if it means you tell me why you're there

Leviathan: Actually no don't even answer, there can only be one reason you took that kind of risk

Leviathan: Is it... because of MC?

Upon reading their name again, Mammon felt his stomach sink. The eyes of the Avatar of Greed closed almost instantly as if to avoid reading it, the damp air whistling through his teeth as he breathed in deeply. Of course Levi would figure that out too. Any of his brothers could have.

The demon leaned his head against the wall behind him, his eyes opening and staring into nothing as he contemplated telling Levi about his plan. It wasn't as if he had any backup plans considering the situation he was in, after all. And Levi had the advantage of being at home, and having access to technology and magic that could improve his search further. But the thought of Lucifer figuring everything out still haunted him, making the hair on his skin stand straight.

And yet... At this point, he had nothing else to lose.

Mammon: Ya gotta promise not to tell anyone about this.

Leviathan: Who do you take me for? I'm not a snitch!

Leviathan: Especially if it's about MC.

Leviathan: But huh... what about Lucifer? You know that if when he finds out you went to the human world, he's going to kill you.

Mammon: Fuck Lucifer.

Mammon: I'm tired of hearin' him say he's "taking care of it". He clearly knows something but won't tell any of us and I'm tired of not getting any news from MC since they left the Devildom 2 months ago.

Mammon: And what's with his excuse about them not havin' their DDD anymore to contact us? I call that a load of bullshit.

Mammon: Something weird happened and Lucifer's too stuck-up to let us know what it is.

Mammon: So I'm done waiting around to see when they'll come back, or IF they'll even come back. So I'm going to get them myself.

Mammon: Problem is, I went to MC's place, and they weren't there. Their neighbor told me that they moved out a while ago with, get this, "a guy with white hair".

Leviathan: ??????? Solomon?????

Mammon: I'd bet my Demonio and all the things I possess that it's him.

Mammon: Not only Lucifer's in on this secret thing about MC, but Solomon too. I've already booked him an appointment with my fists if he did anythin' to them.

Mammon: Hell, even Diavolo and Barbatos seem to be in it too, which sucks even bigger time.

Mammon: So that means it's just us 6 who don't know shit. I wasn't about to play nice and dumb for Lucifer any longer.

Leviathan: Mammon

Leviathan: I never thought I'd ever write something like that to YOU

Leviathan: but

Leviathan: you sound super cool rn!! That just makes me wish I could have gone too!!

Leviathan: Pleasepleaseplease let me help!!! I'm also worried about MC and I miss having them here. The atmosphere at the house has sucked ever since we realized we couldn't text or call them anymore and I huh... kinda miss seeing them around the others too.

For a split second, Mammon considered taking a screenshot of Levi's last message to sell it as "the proof that the Avatar of Envy can control his jealousy!", but now wasn't the time for that. He had Levi's approval for helping him find the whereabouts of MC, and that's all he needed at the moment. He hadn't even noticed his lips turning into a small grin upon reading his brother offering his support.

Mammon: Alright Levi listen.

Mammon: All I'm tryin' right now is to find where MC might be.

Mammon: I don't think they left the place I'm at, but I ain't about to search at every damn house there is here. Would take too much time anyway.

Mammon: So can ya use your shut-in powers and figure somethin' out? Like I don't know, catch their human phone's signal or whatever through hacking?

Leviathan: Lol? I'll let you know it's not because I spend my entire days in my room that I know how to find a human phone!

Leviathan: I know how to hack yeah, but I don't know how to hack human technology! Not that I maybe tried once or twice and it resulted in failure each time.

Leviathan: But huh... I could try?

Leviathan: Let me ask Satan if we could use magic too.

Mammon: Satan? Levi, are you stupid? Last thing we want is to get more people to know about what I'm doing.

Leviathan: Oh huh yeaaaah, about that.

Leviathan: I should have told you sooner, but when I stopped answering earlier it's because Satan caught me texting you.

Leviathan: But he actually knew you had left to the human world! So we don't have to worry! He's on our side... obviously.

Mammon: Then the two of you get on it.

Mammon: And don't catch Lucifer's attention.

Leviathan: Yeah!

Leviathan: I'll let you know when we've found something.

Leviathan: BRB!

And then just like earlier, Levi's texts stopped appearing on his screen. A sigh left Mammon's lips as he closed his eyes, and the demon allowed his body to slide against the wall behind him until he was sitting on the ground. As he stretched out his sore body, the second-born finally realized that after two whole months of not getting to hear MC's voice, seeing their smile, getting to touch them... he had gotten closer to finding them, all thanks to his brothers. He had let Lucifer's intimidation get the best of him throughout all this time, but not anymore. No matter whether his older brother would catch wind of where he was, and what he was doing, Mammon would never stop trying to bring back MC where they belonged. With him, in the Devildom, back with the family they had found and grown to love.

Closing the messaging app with his thumb, the picture of MC he had set as his D.D.D. background seemed to radiate like the sun. How dared them all try to separate his human from their first man? From the one who'd they come to whenever they had a nightmare and couldn't fall asleep? The demon who'd hug them as tight as possible in their bed after a long day at RAD? The one who'd had the chance to fall asleep with them, getting the absolute honor of seeing their face so close to his, and who'd protect their dreams from any bad thoughts and scary nightmares?

The anxiety that Mammon had worn on his face all day slowly disappeared, and a small smile was placed upon it instead as his eyes met MC's in the picture.

"I'm almost there. Ya just gotta be patient a little more."

I'll find ya.

Time went on as Mammon waited for any news of Levi and Satan's research. The rain showed no sign of clearing soon, and the demon was starting to doze off after spending his entire day without taking a single break. He could have almost fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the owner of the bakery opening the door to close his shop and asking him to sit somewhere else. So Mammon moved from one spot to another, and took shelter near another store instead.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting on the stone steps he had sat on, his phone's screen flashed a bright light as a new notification from Levi appeared from the top. Quickly passing his wrist on his tired eyes, Mammon tapped on the new message at the speed of light. The contents made him gasp, and for a second, he had almost forgotten how to breathe, as his now wide-open eyes were glued on the content of the message.

A full-on address, along with a picture of the place.

Mammon instantly stood up at the sight of the picture, the memories of his day resurfacing in a flash. He remembered very clearly seeing this particular building sometime during his search- its height had been making it stand out very easily amongst the other buildings in the city. Nobody couldn't mistake it with anything else.

Mammon: This is it?

Leviathan: Yeah, we placed down a map and confirmed it was there.

Leviathan: Satan actually found a book in his room with a spell that can help find a person's specific item with just some of their DNA.

Leviathan: So we went to MC's room and found some hair that Satan used for the spell, along with his phone so it could narrow down the list of MC's items.

Leviathan: I didn't think Satan's room could look even more of a mess, but he spent 10 minutes shoveling through his collection and now you can't even see the floor or his bed anymore lol

Leviathan: Anyway now that you got what you wanted, go and check if MC is there!

Mammon felt his legs move on their own as he flipped his jacket above his head and stepped under the rain again, a confident grin now brightly adorning his face as he typed on his phone to reply.

Mammon: Thanks Levi. I'll owe ya one.

Leviathan: Find MC and bring them back. Then you can consider us even.

Mammon nodded, a newfound hope filling his entire body and mind. After confirming that Levi had ceased texting him, the demon turned the phone off. He opened his hand to drop it on the wet floor, and let his right foot crash down upon it, the object almost breaking in half. Mammon promptly gathered in his hand the shattered item, now completely unusable, and threw it down a nearby sewer before letting his excitement take the best of him and sprint further in the direction of the building from the picture. At least, now Lucifer wouldn't be able to track him down with it if Levi and Satan got caught.

The more distance he covered, the more Mammon could swear he was about to take on his demon form at any moment. The thoughts of MC began to fill his head even more, as if they were the one pushing him to find them, to get to them as soon as possible. For the first time in 2 months, Mammon felt truly alive.

"Almost there. The Great Mammon's coming for ya, MC!!" he let out in the form of an encouragement to himself, his legs having found their energy again as his form was engulfed further into the city.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anxiously pacing around the room, their head low and their phone in their hands, MC was growing more and more impatient. They were supposed to receive an update from Solomon about three hours earlier in the form of a phone call, but no matter the amount of messages they'd spent in the hopes of the wizard finally answering them, all they received was a dreadful silence. Grabbing a nearby chair, they let their body fall onto the seat as their fingers typed yet another message. They couldn't really understand how they had come to grow so persistent when it came to getting Solomon to reply to them, but having no other person to talk to ever since they left the Devildom 2 months prior would do that to anyone, they assumed.

'Solomon, sorry, I know I'm sending a lot of texts, but you said you'd visit today and I'm starting to be worried and... honestly a bit lonely. I thought going out today would help, but I just sat in the park for an hour before going back home and not doing much of the day.'

'You were supposed to meet with other wizards today, right? I hope nothing bad happened. But in case you're alright, all I'm asking is just one reply to at least get some sort of human connection. Not that I had a lot of it in the past few months.'

They felt their throat tighten upon writing their last sentence, feeling the frustration spilling out of their own words right back into their face. But who could blame them?

2 months without seeing, hearing, or even texting their friends back in the Devildom. 2 months without receiving a single visit from Luke or Simeon. 2 months spent exclusively with the company of Solomon, who had been acting strange ever since and had made them move out of their home under the excuse that it was to "train them at magic in a more private setting". But more importantly... those had been 2 months without having Mammon around, and MC would lie if they said they hadn't spent several nights crying themself to sleep, wondering how the demon was dealing with their absence.

The memories of their latest departure from the Devildom played in their head like a movie as they placed a hand on their forehead. Everything had seemed alright at the time, with them getting to say their usual goodbyes to the brothers, wishing to see them again once the new year at RAD would start, foolishly thinking that they'd get to spend their time hearing their voices on a daily basis once they were back in the human world. And before they could understand, their DDD had been taken from them, Solomon had been more present in their life than ever before, and for a reason they still couldn't grasp, it was as if the brothers had vanished from their life completely. No news whatsoever. Complete radio silence.

Just thinking back to this period, and how they could have probably caught that something was up as soon as Diavolo asked for their DDD after the brothers had left... it just made them want to puke.

But nothing could make them want to do so as much as the long-awaited reply of Solomon appearing on their screen.

'Hi MC. I'm deeply sorry I couldn't get ahold of you throughout the day. I won't be able to visit you today, since my services are still required here. Besides, it's getting late. I recommend you go have a good night's sleep as soon as possible.'

'If everything goes smoothly, I should be able to come back tomorrow. Then, we'll be able to go walk wherever you want. How does that sound?'

'I need to be going, but I shall wish you a good night. Take care, MC.'

And just as quickly as he had answered, Solomon went silent again. Leaving them in this apartment they had grown to hate, this prison cell he had put them in. A place where no fun could be found for them. MC didn't even bother sending anything else after that.

Their head sunk even lower, until their forehead slowly met with the hard surface of the dinner table. The phone faceplanted onto the wood as MC's hands turned into hard fists, a deep groan shaking the walls of their throat. It was hard not to let the tears escape their eyes, but instead, they opted to punch the table several times as hard as they could, until they felt their anger diminish.

How long was Solomon going to act ignorant towards them? How long was he going to ignore their pleas to get news from the Devildom, anything that would let them know why they couldn't contact the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos? Even if the lords had been in some sort of trouble... they'd still find time to talk to their human, right? There was no way Mammon, the one they loved, wouldn't try to reach them one way or another... right?

Him who had been so clingy in such an adorable way every time they'd be at the House of Lamentation, he who had revealed to them that there wasn't a single day where his thoughts wouldn't drift to them no matter how hard he tried...

No. No amount of important duties would explain why Mammon of all demons, would ignore them like that.

They missed his antics. His entire being. The warmth he'd bring them each time he'd hold their hand before tucking his face into their neck like a pouting child, desperately trying to sneak one or two kisses in there, in the hopes he'd get to hear that sweet giggle of them. It wasn't for nothing that Lucifer had come to name them the chaotic duo of the House of Lamentation. They were two parts of a whole.

And yet, the world had dared to separate them. And MC was tired, oh so tired of not having their other half near them. The only feeling they had left, was one of pure desperation to see their greedy demon.

"I'm not asking for much... even a single word would do." MC replied to no one as they turned their head to rest their cheek onto the table. They closed their eyes, the anger slowly being replaced by a profound exhaustion. Could they really do nothing but act normal around Solomon, and accept that this was now their new life? No demons, no angels, just... humans around them?

Before they could slap the thought away, a loud banging coming from the entrance door made them straighten in their seat, their head turning towards the hallway in a panic. Their heart pounded inside their chest as the banging seemed to go on forever, until they used the back of their chair to push themself up, their legs shaking.

"S...Solomon?" They asked, way too silently for anyone to hear, and fully knowing that the person behind the door couldn't be the wizard.

As if they were waiting for an answer, MC stood there, their hand grasped onto the chair. The banging was insistent, demanding, angry. At this time of night, there were few reasons they could think why someone would mistreat their door in such a way, and MC wasn't sure they wanted to find the reason for it.

That is, until the person behind the door finally let their voice be heard.

"Oi, MC! Ya can hear me right?! Come on, open the door!"

It didn't take long for MC to let the familiar voice enter their ears, and it took less time for them to nearly stumble over the chair as their legs moved in a hurry to lead them towards the door as quickly as possible. Their hands messily trying to open the locks on the door, they were sure their mind had just played a trick on them, and the person outside was going to leave them completely disappointed, but they didn't care. This voice they could only remember so well despite the time since they had last heard it, was simply inviting them to open the door, to check for themselves whether it was true, or just a nasty joke played by their brain.

But as the last lock was undone, and the door was swung open, MC couldn't do anything but just stand there, their mouth agape.

Mammon kept on drawing breaths, his wet hair stuck to his forehead and drops of rain falling from his clothes onto the floor below, so much so that it had started to create a small puddle underneath him. As if the person who opened the door wasn't the one he expected, the demon took a step back, letting his eyes wander up and down on the human he had in front of him, almost in an attempt to check if it was really them. He too, couldn't stop his mouth from hanging open at the sight.

The two of them just stood there for a few seconds, taken by so many emotions at once that they weren't sure what to do. But right as Mammon took a step forward, his mouth opening some more to let out words that he so desperately had wanted to say for so long now, MC's face contorted into one of pure sadness before they rushed towards him. Mammon greedily welcomed them into his arms as they jumped and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, and their legs around his waist. They buried their face into his neck, the warmth of their tears mixing with the rain on his skin.

His embrace only tightened even more as they mumbled his name amidst broken sobs, the sound ever so close to his ear that even though he had his eyes firmly closed, he might have cried on the spot too. But he had found them. He had them in his arms again. After what had seemed like a million years, finally, they were back where they belonged, and he was back with his human.

Almost as if they were about to be pulled away from him, Mammon placed a hand on the back of their head, wanting to protect their entire being from harm no matter the cost. He still wasn't sure why it had taken so long for him to reunite with them despite the obstacles, but at the present moment, nothing else could matter.

The lord had finally found them, and he wasn't about to let anyone interfer between their happiness once more.

"I ain't letting you go." He whispered through gritted teeth, his head lowering into their shoulder. "Ever again."

[sporadicerratic]

Another Sunrise

Hokay. This is me being brave and doing the thing. Please enjoy this short fic about Sans & Papyrus. Guess this is turning into my fanfic account, lol.

Papyrus stood on the small porch outside of his bedroom, a hot cup of tea warming his phalanges and sending a clouds of steam wafting into the brisk morning air. There had been so many sunrises since the monsters had left the underground, but he never tired of watching the first bright blush creep over the edge of the horizon; signaling the arrival of the brightest star he had ever had the pleasure to behold. As the warmth of the sunlight spread across his face, he noticed a second cloud of steam in his peripheral vision, and looked down in surprise to see that Sans had silently joined him. His brother randomly appearing nearby without a sound was nothing new, but Sans was rarely awake when the sun first made an appearance, and Papyrus was thrilled for the company.

“SANS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE AT THIS HOUR?” Concern furrowed his brow as a thought occurred to him, and he reached out to put a gloved hand on his brother’s back. “IT WASN’T A NIGHTMARE, WAS IT?”

Sans turned to Papyrus with a grin, but it wasn’t the mask that he had worn for all of those years in the Underground. Sans had been letting that fall away more and more as of late, and even if his smile wasn’t quite as wide, Papyrus relaxed slightly when he saw that it was genuine.

“nah, bro. i know you’re out here every morning. figured i’d come spend some time with my favorite brother.”

“SANS. I AM YOUR ONLY BROTHER.”

“doesn’t make you any less my favorite.”

Papyrus smiled a bit wider himself at that, and then wrapped his arm around Sans’ shoulder. Taking a deep breath that, as a skeleton, he didn’t really need, he let his sockets slide shut and listened to the birds in the surrounding trees calling to one other.

Sans reciprocated Papyrus’ gesture, but, due to his height, the best he could do was to place a hand on his brother’s spine.

“ya know,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper, “it was about this time of day when I first found ya.”

Papyrus’ sockets snapped open, and he turned his head slowly to look down at Sans, who was very pointedly staring directly at the rising sun.

“EXCUSE ME, BROTHER. DID YOU JUST SAY…THAT YOU...FOUND...ME?”            

Several soulbeats passed before Sans inhaled sharply and turned to meet Papyrus’ shocked gaze. “yep. heard you crying. for a babybones, you sure had a set ‘a pipes. I was surprised some other monster hadn’t found you first, with the way you were carryin on. some things about you have always been great, bro.”

Papyrus stood silently for a few moments, processing this information. Sans had never been very forthcoming about why he had had to raise Papyrus on his own, and after a certain age, it had ceased to be a priority for Papyrus. When Sans didn’t want to share information, he didn’t share information, and there was nothing Papyrus could do about it.

“…..Where?” Papyrus’ voice came out uncharacteristically soft.

Sans’s eyelights winked out, and he anxiously shifted his weight from one foot to the other before answering.

“pretty close to the barrier. the fighting…” Sans choked on the words a bit, and Papyrus couldn’t help himself.

“THE FIGHTING?!! SANS!!! YOU…YOU WERE ON THE SURFACE? DURING THE WAR WITH THE HUMANS?!! SANS!! JUST HOW OLD ARE YOU?!!” The words tumbled out as Papyrus’ world tilted hard enough that he put a hand on the railing to steady himself.

Sans stared hard at some speck in the wood grain in front of him for a moment, then leaned his head back and turned to face Papyrus again. Despite his shock, Papyrus noticed that the circles under Sans’ eyes seemed a bit darker than usual. Had he been worried enough about sharing this information that he had been losing sleep? He felt a pang of regret at his outburst.

“i was a kid when i found you, pap. we’ve always only been a few years apart, yeah? you just don’t remember that you were on the surface before. how could you? you were just a babybones when the war ended.”

Papyrus slowly dragged a gloved hand across his features; the sweet cacophony of morning birdsong forgotten as Sans’ words buzzed about his skull.

It was not often that the boisterous skeleton found himself at a loss for words, but then again, it was pretty much never that his soft-spoken brother let one of his closely guarded secrets slip. The morning had suddenly become fragile, somehow. After blurting out his first thoughts, Papyrus was afraid the wrong words just might cause something between himself and Sans to shatter; something that was far more precious to Papyrus than having his most burning questions answered.

The seconds dragged past and neither monster spoke, but their eyes met. They held each others’ gaze and a plethora of emotions played across their features. Shock; sadness; confusion; compassion; they silently searched each other for something; perhaps permission? When Sans saw the fear in his sibling’s eyes, he steeled himself and quietly took the initiative once again.

Papyrus had to strain to hear him. “the fighting…the fighting was everywhere. when we got the news that we were all gonna be sealed underground, well…it was…we didn’t have a lot of time. those of us who were left just kinda, heh, we just kinda had to make a mad dash for it.”

Papyrus could see Sans’ eyelights flickering in and out, as if he were somehow looking at something far away.

“but you were right up close to the barrier, pap. someone did their damndest to get you all the way there, but…they didn’t…quite…make it.”

Papyrus’ gloved hands flew to his mouth as Sans fumbled with his jacket for a moment before pulling a small, blue bone-patterned blanket out from some inner pocket.

“it was,” he paused for a moment, running his hand over what was little more than a worn rag and almost choking on the next word, “dusty. they almost got you through, pap. i just. i made sure you made it the rest of the way. and they’ve always been with you, right? they dusted on the most precious thing in the world.”

He turned to meet his brother’s gaze and what Papyrus saw there this time pierced his soul; any other questions he might have had were banished from his skull by the ferocity of the love, sympathy and sadness that shone forth from Sans’ sockets. Sans gently reached out and offered the little piece of cloth to Papyrus, who took reverently. He spent several minutes turning it over and over in his hands; holding it up to see how truly small it was; and looking at it very, very closely, before very carefully folding it and slipping it inside his battle body.

 It was a beautiful morning. Birds were singing. Flowers were blooming. And finally, Papyrus spoke.

 “Why Did You Hide This From Me All This Time, Sans?”

Sans didn’t turn his head at all this time, focusing once again on the rising sun, which had nearly cleared tops of the distant hills and set the sky awash with several brilliant shades of orange. He trembled slightly, despite the fact that neither skeleton felt the cold.

“because, Pap. i never wanted you to doubt for a second that I’m your brother. from the moment i picked you up, i knew that i was gonna love you forever, and i never wanted to let anything hurt you, the way the war had hurt me. i didn’t wanna give you a single reason to think that we weren’t family. since coming to the surface, well. heheheh. you know how it is. no more resets. moving forward. coming clean. and that means, the truth. about everything. i figure, you got a right to know. e-even if it means….you don’t think of me as your brother anymore…”

Papyrus watched as a bright blue tear slipped from the edge of Sans’ socket. His grip on the railing had become vice-like, and he was shaking like a leaf. Papyrus made a soft noise, closing the distance between them in a single stride and sweeping his older brother up into a bone-crunching hug; literally. There were several audible pops from Sans’ spine as Papyrus squeezed him as tightly as he could.

“OH SANS. THERE IS NOTHING ABOVE OR BELOW GROUND THAT COULD CHANGE THE FACT THAT WE ARE BROTHERS. IN FACT, I WOULD SAY THAT THIS MAKES OUR BOND EVEN MORE POWERFUL, BECAUSE YOU CHOSE ME, SANS. YOU CHOSE TO PICK ME UP, AND RAISE ME, AND PROTECT ME, EVEN WHEN YOU HAD NOTHING. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME, SANS. WITH THE GIFT OF THIS NEW INFORMATION, I CAN ALSO SAY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY DEAREST BROTHER. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Sans sniffled into Papyrus’ shoulder for a moment before vigorously wiping a gloved hand across his sockets and leaning back.

“augh…heheh…take it easy, pap. i only got the one spine.”

Papyrus had never seen Sans grin so widely; even when he managed to zing him with the worst of puns. His struggling in Papyrus’ arms was half-hearted at best.

“pap. i’m your only brother.”

Papyrus happily took the bait. “THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU ANY LESS MY DEAREST BROTHER! THOUGH, I AM STILL THE COOLEST. GEH. WHAT *ARE* YOU WEARING, SANS? IT LOOKS LIKE YOU FOUND IT AROUND THE SAME TIME YOU FOUND ME.”

“hey, this is a classic.”

“MORE LIKE BASIC!”

“…ya know what? you tried. i’m so proud.”

“EXCUSE YOU, THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOESN’T NEED YOUR PITY! MY JOKES ARE BONELY THE BEST!”

“oh my god Pap, you’re gonna make me cry again.”

“NYEH HEH!”

The two skeletons exchanged lighthearted jabs at one another as the last vestiges of orange in the sky gave way to a brilliant blue; Sans sitting comfortably in his brother’s embrace as he had done so many times before, and Papyrus making no move whatsoever to set him down. If they were gripping one another a bit more tightly than normal, neither said a word about it.

[imaginewithmgk]

It’ll Be Alright

prompt; be alright - dean lewis

link to music video

summary: y/n and colson have a fight that doesnt end well because of something y/n did and then they see each each other at a party two years later

word count: 2,246

warnings: cheating, swearing, drug & alcohol

I look up from the ground To see your sad and teary eyes You look away from me And I see there's something you're trying to hide

“Y/N?” I ask my girlfriend as I hear her walk into the bedroom we share. My eyes stay focused on the notepad sitting in front of me, reading over the lyrics I’ve been writing all day. She doesn’t respond so I look up to meet her eyes. They’re filled with tears threatening to spill down her cheeks any second now.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I put my feet on the ground next to our bed and stand up, I cautiously walk over to her.

“No! Stay there please,” She croaks.

“Did I do something?” I ask her.

“No, i-it’s not you,”

“Baby,”

“Don’t call me that,” She lets out a long sigh. “Please,”

“Okay, please tell me what’s wrong,”

“I-I I don’t know how to tell you,” I can tell there’s something she’s trying to hide. We’ve been together for so long that we practically share a brain, so many people tell us how alike we are and because of that, we are a perfect match.

And I reach for your hand but it's cold You pull away again And I wonder what's on your mind

I reach for her hand, to offer some comfort, but as soon as my fingers meet hers all I can feel is coldness. Not literally, figuratively. She seems to be emotionless, numb. I am usually met with nothing but warmth when I touch her but this time is different. She pulls away quickly and turns around, running a hand through her hair.

“What’s on your mind Y/N? Please tell me,”

“I-I can’t,”

“Yes, you can. We share everything,”

“I know we do Colson,” She huffs.

And then you say to me you made a dumb mistake You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's

“I made a dumb mistake,” Y/N admits.

“What do you mean, dumb mistake?”

“I-I just made a mistake, okay?” Her voice trembles.

“What mistake Y/N!?” I raise my voice, becoming impatient with how she’s acting.

“Don’t yell at me p-please,” Her voice breaks. “I was really drunk, it didn’t mean anything!”

“What didn’t mean anything!? What the fuck are you talking about?” I am yelling now.

“You know the cigarettes you found on the counter yesterday?” She turns around to face me with tears running down her face. The sight breaks my heart.

“Yes?”

“They weren’t mine. They were someone else’s. Someone you and I know,”

“Who?”

“It doesn’t matter who. It just matters that they were there,”

“What the fuck are you talking about Y/N? I’m sick of you beating around the bush! What fucking mistake? Whose cigarettes? What did you do!?”

“I slept with someone,” She finally admits. I swear all feelings leave my body but as soon as they’re gone, they come flooding back and hit me like a ton of bricks.

“What?” My voice cracks. I meet her eyes, hers filled with tears and mine filled too.

So I still look back at all the messages you'd sent And I know it wasn't right, but it was fucking with my head And everything deleted like the past, it was gone

Baby <3: i love you so much!

Me: i love you too girl x

Why the fuck am I looking over our old messages? She’s the bitch who cheated on me. I know it’s not right but not being with her is really fucking with my head. She was my one and only for so long, she was a part of me. Without her, a part of me is missing. I switched over to my Photos app to see all of our photos gone, just like our past. I deleted them after I found out what she did. Even though what she did killed me, I can’t help but miss her, miss the times we shared together, miss our photos, miss our late-night conversations, our cute texts to each other throughout the day. I miss everything.

And when I touched your face, I could tell you're moving on But it's not the fact that you kissed him yesterday It's the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake

“I can’t believe you,” I choke out. “How could you do that to me!?” By now I’m just letting the tears out, I don’t care what she thinks.

“I was drunk! I know that’s not an excuse but I wasn’t in my right mind,” I walk closer to her and place my hand on her cheek. I can tell she’s moving on, or am I just telling myself that? It’s not the fact that she slept with someone else, it’s the feeling of betrayal that I just can’t seem to shake.

And everything I know tells me that I should walk away But I just want to stay

“Everything is telling me to walk away,”

“I know,”

“But I just want to stay,”

“I know Colson,”

“Why did you have to fucking do this!?” I scream and throw my notepad on the ground. “We were perfect,”

“I’m sorry!” She cries.

“Sure you are,” I face her. “That’s why you went and fucked someone else!”

“I was drunk!”

“That’s not a fucking excuse,” I hiss. “Just fucking go! Leave!” I point to the door. She practically runs out of the room, leaving me to my own thoughts. I drop to the ground and take handfuls of the blanket that once lay on our bed. What just happened?

And my friend said "I know you love her, but it's over, mate It doesn't matter, put the phone away It's never easy to walk away, let her go It'll be okay”

I concentrate on my feet, one in front of the other, slow and steady. I am so fucking drunk right now I can’t focus on anything but the simple task of making it to my couch. I finally do and drop onto it.

“You good bro?” I hear Rook ask me. My body sways in every direction possible as I try to look up at him.

“Do I look good?” I chuckle.

“Not really,” He laughs with me as he sits down on the couch next to me. “Want a drag?” He offers me a blunt, to which I greedily snatch out of his hand and take a drag.

“Thanks,” I say in between blowing the residual smoke out. I hand him the blunt and do my best to grab my phone out of my pocket. I unlock it and go into my contacts to look for the only thing that’s been on my mind for the last few weeks, her.

“Don’t do this to her Kells. Don’t do this to yourself,”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snap.

“Yes, I do. I know you love her, I know how much you love her but it’s over,”

“It’s not over! I want her back,” I plead as a tear runs down my cheek. I sniffle and aggressively wipe it away. I hate showing weakness, especially around my boys, but the alcohol has warped my emotions and brain so much that I have no control.

“It doesn’t matter, put the phone away Kells,��� Rook tells me as he attempts to grab it out of my hand. Due to my current state, he successfully gets it and puts it down next to him. “It’s never easy to walk away Kells. But you have to let her go. She’s the one who fucked you over! Not the other way around,”

“I know,” I place my head on his shoulder and let it all out, all the emotions I’ve been bottling up for so long. He puts his arm around me and lets it happen. This is why I’m so thankful for my brothers.

“It’ll be okay,” Rook reassures me.

It's gonna hurt for a bit of time So bottoms up, let's forget tonight You'll find another and you'll be just fine Let her go

“It’s gonna hurt for a bit of time, probably a lot of time in your case Kells,” Rook says. “So have a blunt with me and let’s forget tonight bro. You’ll find another girl who will mean more to you than Y/N did I promise. You’ll be just fine. Remember that you’ve got me, Slim, Baze, Ashleigh, Dom, Mod, Pete and a truckload of other people who love you and will ride with you until the end. Look at all the shit you’ve been through and you’re still here man. You’re a fighter. You can let her go,”

“Love you man,” I hug him properly.

“Love you too,”

But nothing heals the past like time And they can't steal The love you're born to find It'll be alright

*two years later*

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Come on! This party will be so fun!” Y/B/F encourages you as you slouch on your bed.

“I can’t be bothered, I have to work,”

“Just take one night off Y/N! For meeee,” They whine.

“I guess,” You shrug and get up off the bed. “What should I wear?”

“That tight black dress, with the sheer white cardigan and your black heeled boots!”

“You already had this planned out didn’t you?”

“Of course darling,” You laugh together.

“It’s so packed,” You breathe out as you stare at the random people filling the house in front of you. You have no idea whose house it is or who’s at the party but you didn’t want to disappoint your best friend.

“Come on,” They grab your hand and drag you inside. You say a few hello’s to the people you recognise before inevitably making your way to the alcohol and making yourself a drink.

“Okay don’t freak out,” Your best friend says while walking up to you.

“You can’t say that and expect me not to freak out,” You laugh.

“Well,” They pause. “Colson is here,” Your body froze at their words. It’s been two years since you drunkenly cheated on Colson and you have regretted it all everyday since. You lost all communication with him that day so you don’t even know if he still hates you or not. You run your fingers through your hair and let out a sigh of frustration. You turn around, planning to leave the party, but are stopped by a body standing right in your path.

“Y/N?” Your eyes lock with Rook’s.

“Rook?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh my best friend forced me to go out,” You nervously scratch the back of your neck. You used to be really close with Rook, hence why he was the one that hated you almost as much as Colson did. After all Colson is his best friend, his brother. “What about you?”

“Colson got invited so me and a few others tagged along,”

“Oh okay,” You look down at your shoes.

“Rook! Bro, there you are!” You hear a familiar voice. “Who you talking to? Ooh, a gir-“ His voice stops as soon as he sees you.

“Y/N!?” He exclaims.

“Hi Colson,” You blush. You will forever be nervous around him, not because he scares you but because of how much you feel for him. You had thought for awhile that you had moved on, that you had buried the feelings you had for him but clearly that is not the case. As soon as you locked eyes with his vibrant blue ones, all the feelings came flooding back.

“W-what are you doing here?” He asks.

“I’m here with my best friend,” You point towards your best friend who is downing shots with randoms. Normally you would be filming it or teasing them at least but not in this case. Not when the ex-love of your life is standing right in front of you.

“Hey, can we talk outside or something?”

“Of course. Lead the way,” He grabs your hand and instructs you to follow him. The feeling of your hand in his is all too familiar, the tingling sensation in your fingertips and the feeling of comfort or home.

You make your way out the front of the house with him and sit on the curb. He sits next to you and leans his head on his knees.

“You okay?” You say softly.

“Yeah it’s just crazy seeing you I guess. It’s good though, don’t get me wrong. I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” You lean your head on his shoulder.He moves his head so he’s looking down at you. You notice his eyes begin to flicker down towards your lips and back up to your eyes, is this really going to happen? You think to yourself. He begins leaning his head towards yours. You can practically feel your heartbeat making your whole body shake in nervousness, it feels like your heart is in your throat. He brushed his nose past yours and let his face almost rest on yours. You missed this feeling, the feeling of his hot breath on your lips and the eagerness to make connection. You decide to take a chance and lean your head up. You finally press your lips onto his and the past two years feel like nothing. Nothing matters except the fact that you get to touch him again.

[trensu]

Episode 14: The One where LWJ Sings to WWX, y’know, Like a Bro

WE’RE STILL IN THE BEST CAVE IN THE WORLD GUYS

AND WE START OFF WITH ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AS LWJ GENTLY WAKES UP.

And first thing he notices is that he woke up with his forehead ribbon on his forehead where it’s supposed to be (it’s right there in the name) 

Wwx: oh yeah, i put it back on you while you were sleeping. I know how nervous you get when you’re not wearing it.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

DID YOU?

HE PUT IT BACK ON HIM TO SPARE HIM ANXIETY

(You can't tell me that LWJ does not low-key have anxiety. Nobody's that much of a stickler for rules without being constantly anxious about breaking them. That's just facts)

Also, lol, the minute lwj wakes up, wwx is all “ah, must be 5am.” HE’S KEEPING TRACK OF TIME WITH LWJ’S SLEEP HABITS LOLOLOL

Now wwx and lwj are talking Important Escape Details

Wwx: yeah, went back into the pond and it looks like the Murder Turtle blocked off the escape route

Lwj: you shouldn’t be going into the pond with your injury

Wwx: i’m not that delicate!

And then he turns it around and asks lwj how well the medicine was working on his leg (it’s all better now, i guess?? idk he seems fine now. wq’s medicine is MAGIC)

BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

Here we learn the official name of the Murder Turtle

Lwj: it’s like a xuanwu but not

Wwx: xuanwu?? *proceeds to describe what he knows about it*

Lwj: *is impressed and surprised*

Have more faith in your soulmate lwj. He reads! Sometimes! When it’s important!

Wwx: aren’t xuanwus supposed to have sharp teeth? Like Grrr

HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE GROWLY FACE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND MAKES THE CUTEST GROWL SOUND AT LWJ. AHHHHH!

But also, he’s disappointed that the xuanwu didn’t have sharp teeth?? WWX, THE THING TRIED TO EAT YOU JUST YESTERDAY. BE GRATEFUL IT DOESN’T HAVE SHARP TEETH

Wwx: it doesn’t even matter what it is! It’s a big monster and if we kill it we’ll be Big Damn Heroes

So EXCITED and EAGER and he has this MISCHIEVOUS LOOK ON HIS FACE. Obviously he’s suffered brain damage

Wwx: and, ah, if it kills us, it’s okay bc it’ll be an AWESOME death lol

Lwj just stares at him LOL

His face is like, “this guy? This is the guy my heart decided to fall for?? Really???”

Okay so now they’re being all sneaky and gathering up bows and arrows that surround the pond and then they go back and get to work on fixing them and preparing for battle

We get to see lwj practicing the chord assassination technique like a BADASS

They come up with a plan!! Wwx will go into the Murder Turtle’s shell to coax him out of it so that lwj can then, idk, decapitate it with his Killer String.

(that’s...not how actual turtles work, but bc this is a magic murder turtle, i figure the rules don’t apply)

AHHHHH

LWJ DOES A THING

So obvs since wwx has to go inside the shell and lwj has to stay outside the shell they gotta communicate right and Ancient Fantasy China does not have good cell reception

Wwx: listen to me

And with that verbal cue, lwj does this thing that makes his fingers glow with spiritual energy and then taps wwx’s forehead which then has a little burst of the glow for half a second.

And TA-DAH! NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED!!! 

THEY’RE SOULMATES AND NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED YOUR OTP COULD NEVER

It must be a link that only lets them hear what the other wants them to hear otherwise wwx would’ve found out lwj is smitten with him right there and then, omg, that could’ve saved us so much heartbreak later on

But we’re not gonna think about that right now bc i don’t want to short-circuit my keyboard with tears

YUCK, wwx is inside the Murder Turtle’s shell and it’s SUPER GROSS

EVERYTHING IS ALL RED

THE FLOOR’S ALL MUDDY AND GUMMY

THERE’S LIKE, FLESHY ROPES HANGING EVERYWHERE

DISGUSTING

Wwx: ewww, it stinks so bad i wanna puke *chokes back bile*

BE STRONG WWX, YOU CAN DO THIS

And now he’s bumped into some dead bodies 

WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR FACE SO CLOSE TO THE DEAD BODIES WWX, THAT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT THE STENCH 2 SECONDS AGO, AND NOW YOU’RE SHOVING YOUR FACE IN IT???

Oh noooo, now he’s found the Screaming Sword of Resentment that screams bloody murder at him

He grabs it and stabs Murder Turtle in the face which makes Murder Turtle mad enough to get out of the shell

We’re going to continue to ignore the bad cgi and ridiculously over the top fighting moves

...and the way he floats horizontally(??? somehow??) as the Murder Turtle tries to shake him off

My poor bb is hanging on for dear life while lwj does his Killer String thing

I LOVE LWJ’S DETERMINED FACE HERE!!

His brow is all scrunched up and his mouth gets all pinched and firm. SO DASHING LAN ZHAN, GO SAVE YOUR SOULMATE.

But oh no! The resentful energy pouring from the sword is getting to wwx!

Uh oh, I did not like the look of that grin on wwx’s face

that was NOT HIS MISCHIEVOUS GRIN

THAT WAS A MALEVOLENT GRIN.

I DON’T LIKE IT

STOP THAT WWX

BE A GOOD BOY

Lwj shouts his name, he’s so worried!!

And now we see wwx use resentful energy for the first time ever!!

In a badass move he starts levitating all the abandoned swords and staffs that littered the shore AND USES THEM TO STAB THE MURDER TURTLE IN THE THROAT

SO COOL, SO COOL

Murder Turtle flops over dead and takes wwx down with him INTO THE POND AND WWX IS UNCONSCIOUS!! NOOOOOOO

Lwj, ofc, rushes to his side as soon as he hits the water and rescues him

He gets him out of the pond and takes him to dry land

Lwj: wei ying, wei ying! Wake up, wake up

GUYS, THIS IS THE MOST EMOTION WE’VE HEARD IN HIS VOICE SO FAR

HE’S REPEATING HIMSELF FOR GOODNESS SAKE

HE OF FEW WORDS GOES ON TO REPEAT HIMSELF TWICE OVER

HE’S FREAKING OUT

Oh gross, we cut to the Evil Wen’s lair 

C’mon nobody cares about whatever’s going on there. Get us back to the important stuff!!! I am Done listening to evil wens ranting

AHH WE’RE BACK IN THE CAVE WITH OUR BOYS!!

WWX REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS!!

Wwx: lan zhan, is it dead?

Lwj: yes

Wwx: yes? (he says weakly, in disbelief, MY POOR WWX)

Wwx: is it dead? (why’s he repeating himself, WWX ARE YOU OKAY??)

(I mean, obviously he's not what with the murder turtle thing but I don't think he can afford to get more brain damage at this point)

Lwj: yes, it is.

Oh and now wwx is telling lwj about all the screaming voices he heard from the sword and asks him if he was dreaming those up

LIKE HE’S NOT TRUSTING HIS GRASP ON REALITY RN OR SOMETHING!!

AND HE’LL ONLY TRUST IT IF LWJ CONFIRMS IT FOR HIM

BC HE TRUSTS HIM AND THEY’RE SOULMATES!!!

Lwj reassures wwx that he did not dream up those screams

(Somebody should probably check him for a concussion,jic. I mean those screams were real THIS time but you never know!!)

(Maybe concussions don't exist in Ancient Fantasy China, idk)

Wwx is all pale and shaky!! MY POOR WWX!! Lwj is rightfully fussing over him

He lets out a weak laugh (BC THAT’S HIS COPING MECHANISM, DIFFUSE THE SITUATION WITH HUMOR, MY POOR WWX) and is like “who knew that one day i’d get to see the 2nd jade of lan look so worried?”

IT’S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, WWX, YOU DENSE IDIOT

Lwj doesn’t respond but he does look away briefly LIKE HE’S AFRAID OF WWX SEEING SO MUCH EMOTION ON HIS FACE

AAHHHH, LAN ZHAN, IT’S OKAY, DON’T HIDE AWAY LIKE THAT!! I PROMISE WWX LOVES YOU TOO!!!

WWX: lan zhan, i didn’t think i’d survive this

He whispers weakly AS HIS BODY IS STARTS TO TREMBLE LIKE CRAZY

Lwj: wei ying, you have a fever

And then he brings wwx’s wrist close to start pouring in some spiritual energy

SO GENTLY, WITH SUCH DEDICATED CONCENTRATION

BC HIS WEI YING IS HURTING AND HE WANTS TO MAKE IT STOP

AAHHHHH

WWX: that’s so soothing lan zhan

Oh jeez, the way he sounds when he says that...

And omg the way lwj looks in the blue glow of the spiritual energy transfer

AS IF HE DIDN’T ALREADY LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF HOLY DEITY, HE’S LEGIT GLOWING NOW TOO

WWX: how boring...why hasn’t jc showed up to rescue me yet?

Uh, rude much? Lwj is right there

AND HERE WE COLLECTIVELY LOSE OUR MINDS BC WWX ASKS LWJ TO SING TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!

AND LWJ STARTS TO SING TO HIM!!!!!

AND THIS IS WHERE WE GET ~THEIR SONG~ ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE CHARACTERS FOR THE FIRST TIME BC THAT’S WHAT HE SINGS TO WEI YING

AND WHILE HE SINGS, WE GET GIVEN THE MOST WONDERFUL OF ALL FLASHBACKS. 

IT IS A COMPILATION OF ALL THEIR IMPORTANT MOMENTS TOGETHER SO FAR

THEIR MOONLIT ROOFTOP SWORD FIGHT!!

THEIR COLD POND CAVE MARRIAGE!!

THEIR BUNNY LANTERN!!

BASICALLY EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THESE PAST 14 EPISODES

I’M LITERALLY TEARING UP

I CNA’T TAKE IT

MY HEART, MY HEART 💕💕💕

THEY’RE SINGING ~THEIR SONG~ AND I’M DYING OF FEELINGS OVERLOAD

Also, jfc, there’s no Heterosexual explanation for that flashback sequence…

Wwx: it sounds so nice, so nice, what’s the name of the song…?

AHHHHHH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

LWJ TELLS HIM THE NAME OF THE SONG!!

!!HE PRACTICALLY CONFESSES HIS ETERNAL UNDYING LOVE TO HIM

AND WWX HAS TO FUCKING PASS OUT BEFORE HE HEARS IT GOD DAMN IT

IT’S LIKE GETTING COCKBLOCKED, BUT LIKE, EMOTIONALLY WHICH IS SO MUCH WORSE  WTF

And when wwx wakes up again, he’s out of the cave!

But instead of seeing lwj’s godly visage, he wakes up to that peacock jzx and is like “you??”

Jc shows up!

Wwx: where’s lan zhan?

Jc: he left

Wwx: he left?? But he’s still injured!!

Jc: so is everyone else!! And he went back to gusu so…

Wwx: but he--

Jc: A THANK YOU WOULD BE NICE

Jc: IT’S NOT LIKE I TRAVELED WITHOUT REST FOR 7 DAYS TO GET HELP AND RESCUE YOU

Now we got to go through Plot Things

We’re at Lotus Pier!! (where wwx proceeds to pass out again!! Get used to it guys, he does this a lot)

Then the yunmeng sibs have a beautiful moment together

Okay, we’re gonna pause here BC WWX IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE??

He gets all pouty and asks jyl to clean his face for him bc his arms are too tired and jyl does it bc she loves her brother

AND HIS ADORABLE FACE

HIS SO CUTE ADORABLE FACE WHEN SHE CLEANS HIM UP

I CAN’T I CAN’T

IT’S TOO MUCH

HOW IS THIS GUY AN ACTUAL PERSON THAT EXISTS 

Lol, wwx is like, i wish you’d been there in the cave with me jc, lan zhan almost bored me to death

What a liar, lol

Like he wasn't completely enraptured by LWJ's presence the ENTIRE TIME

Oh yikes, we’ve got some screwed up family dynamics in the Jiang Family courtesy of m-yu and jfm.

For the sake of my sanity we’re gonna gloss over that

Now that the parents stormed off, wwx does his best to console jc (bc his parents, double yikes)

Now watch me as a break down sobbing when wwx makes A PROMISE HE WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEEEEP

I’ll be your right hand man, he tells him. Gusu has the twin jades, but yunmeng will have twin heroes, he says

(WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY, SHOW, WHYYYYY)

After wwx says those things about the twins, he looks up at the sky wistfully and asks jc “do you think we’ll ever see them again?”

“Them” he says, like he’s not completely talking about just lan zhan

jc’s like how the heck would i know???

And we end the episode with wwx still gazing at the sky, dreaming about his lan zhan

I mean, we don’t see it, the dreams or thoughts or whatever, but we kNOW IN OUR HEARTS THAT’S WHAT HE’S DOING

This was a Very Heterosexual episode. For that I give it 10/10 stars. I would watch that flashback sequence with him singing over and over and over and over and over and ov--

Return to Masterpost

[mestizo-efp]

TianShan AU FanFiction

Chapter 1

Thanks to my bro @alexc1ting for being the best Beta reader! Sup bruh!

Kindaped He Tian Ch 2

The city flashed fast behind the car’s window. Yet in Mo GuanShan’s eyes everything felt kind of amplified and in slow motion.

The lights too bright, the leather under his hands smooth and warm, the smell of blood and new car mixed together. Reflected in the car’s window, Mo GuanShan was studying He Tian’s profile; now brighter and glowing because of the streets lights, now pale and shadowed by the night sky.

«Where are we going?» the silence was so heavy, Mo GuanShan felt like his voice rumbled like a thunder in clear sky.

«My apartment» said He Tian.

After leaving the place where he was held as a hostage, He Tian didn't talk too much for a while, which was weird considering how much more talkative he was while tied and beaten up.

Mo GuanShan shifted in his seat: he didn't feel at ease in a car so brand new and so polished. He Tian on the other hand, thought dripping wet and with his bloodstained shirt, seemed to fit perfectly.

Why was he even there? What did He Tian expected him to do? 

For a moment, a weird thought came into Mo GuanShan's mind...what if He Tian just wanted to get revenge on him? What if he wanted to torture him just to get more informations about the men who kidnapped him? 

 All that fake kindness was just to allure him and to make him fall for his trap! They were taking him who knows where and he wasn't even putting on a fight!

«I want to go home» said Mo GuanShan.

He Tian looked at him with the corner of his eye, he looked stiff and his movement were slow.

«You can't, there might be someone waiting there too. By the way, you should give me your address. I'll send someone»

Mo GuanShan grimaced «You want me to give my address to the son of a Mafia boss?».

«Who said that? I said I was involved in the Chinese Mafia»

«What's the difference?»

He Tian turned around, now looking directly into Mo GuanShan's eyes «You can do whatever you want, but the more we wait, the more they'll get suspicious» he tilted his head «I heard you earlier, about your mom»

«I don't need your help» burst Mo GuanShan «I can take them»

He Tian narrowed his eyes «You have a gun with you?» 

Mo GuanShan gritted his teeths, gripping his fist so tightly his knuckles went white 

He eyed He Tian, then the driver.

Maybe he could jump out of the car... maybe he could try to.There was a bit of traffic, and the car wasn't going that fast. He looked at the car's door handle. His hand was close, he just had to move it a little. Suddenly the car stopped, making Mo GuanShan slumping forward. 

«Do it, if you want to».

Mo GuanShan jolted, looking at He Tian. He felt the blood coloring his cheeks; was he so obvious?

«I didn't-»

«But the moment you leave this car, whatever you'll find between you and your mother... you'll have to face it alone»

Mo GuanShan looked again at the car's door handle; he was ready to grab it when suddenly...the cold feeling of a gun pointed at his temple hit his mind. It was like the gun was still there, together with the sense of powerlessness. 

There was nothing he could do.

Simply nothing.

«I get it! Fuck!».

Almost whispering, Mo GuanShan told his address and He Tian looked at the driver through the rearview mirror; who nodded. Without even looking at the phone, he sent a message. Mo GuanShan wondered if those bodyguards were even human.

Mo GuanShan felt so useless.

He clicked his tongue, clenching his fist. He looked at He Tian, and with an even voice, but hands trembling with rage he said «If anything happens to her, I swear I’ll make you pay»

He Tian smirked «For what matters, you have my word»

«Why the fuck are you even doing it?»

He Tian shrugged, smirking while looking outside «I wonder…»

Silence again.

Things sure were getting weird, too much even for Mo GuanShan. 

He looked at his phone. His mother has sent him tons of messages a few hours ago, but it was 3 am at the moment and with a bit of luck she was probably asleep, meaning they had a few hours to make sure everything was safe.

Lost in his thoughts, Mo GuanShan almost missed the long, deep sigh escaping He Tian’s lips.

He looked at him: he was resting his head over the headrest, eyes toward the streets. His breathing was getting shorter and slow, like expanding too much his chest was giving him pain.

Mo GuanShan looked away, clicking his tongue “Probably broken ribs” he thought.

The bodyguard must have noticed something too because at some point he slowled the car, raising his eyes towards the rearview mirror.

«Mr He?» he said

«I’m fine» answered He Tian «The drug was numbing the pain»

«But-»

«Keep going» said He Tian, his voice low and cold. Sharp as a knife «I can handle this much».

He Tian coughed, resting one hand over his side.

He closed his eyes and he went so still Mo GuanShan thought he might have fallen asleep.

Nothing else happened until they reached an immense skyscraper, so high Mo GuanShan could’t see the top.

He Tian got out of the car first, followed by the bodyguard, Mo GuanShan hesitated for a moment. There was no one outside, the parking lot was empty too. Mo GuanShan wondered if He Tian owned the entire building. When He Tian knocked on the car’s window he got out: the wind was blowing strongly, a wind so cold it took Mo GuanShan’s breath away.

He remembered looking at the skyline from far away, when he was younger. Now that he actually was in the middle of it, if felt strange, unreal.

«You can leave now» said He Tian to the bodyguard

«I’m sorry Mr.He, but your brother asked me to guard the area. I’ll leave in the morning»

He Tian took a short breath, like the only idea to allow something ordered by his brother was an incalculable effort. In the end he just sighed, nodding.

«Fine» he said.

The bodyguard nodded «Please be careful Mr. He».

And like that, the black car disappeared into the streets, probably going for a patrol.

«Follow me» he ordered «The elevator is this way»

Mo GuanShan clicked his tongue «Fucking ordering me around» he hissed.

He Tian had lighted a cigarette, but he wasn’t smoking it, instead he just let it burn between his fingers, turning into ashes.

The elevator, like most of the building, was modern and looked very much expensive. He Tian was resting his shoulder against the elevator’s wall, slouching and breathing unevenly. His eyes hidden behind his dark bangs.

«What did you say was your name?» 

Mo GuanShan snorted «Fuck off»

«You weren’t so cold earlier, in my lap»

Mo GuanShan punched the elevator’s door, making it tremble «SHUT THE FUCK UP! It was just the spur of the moment! It meant nothing! You fucking hear me?!»

He Tian smiled «Don’t fret so much. Though seeing you get all red and flustered it’s pretty cute» 

Mo GuanShan was so indignant that his anger choked his voice. And before he could think of something to say, they reached the floor.

He Tian got out, still smiling at Mo GuanShan’s startled face.

He took out the key from his pocket and then he opened the door. He gestured Mo GuanShan to get inside.

«Make yourself comfortable»

Mo GuanShan step inside, not before looking nervously at the hallway, were they the only ones on that floor?

Once inside, Mo GuanShan had some difficulties to choose between being impressed or somehow disappointed: that was an amazing apartment, located in a beautiful area and with a view of the city that would have been breathtaking for literally everyone, but on the other hand, that place could be hardly be defined as a “home”.

It was empty.

Besides for a bed, a couch, and some boxes.

«You live here?» asked Mo GuanShan

«Most of the time...wait here, I need to get something»

It was really hard to believe that someone had ever passed more than a day in that place, kitchen furnishing and floor were covered by a thin layer of dust.

Mo GuanShan deduced that He Tian had lied to him and that that was simply one of the few houses someone like He Tian owned. Probably the closest one.

Suddenly, a loud commotion.

Mo GuanShan jolted, waiting in the silence for a few seconds.

«Hey» he said. 

No answer.

«The fuck happened?»

No answer again.

“Fuck”  he though, running toward the the dark hall in which He Tian had disappeared earlier.

Mo GuanShan looked inside a room, empty.

Then inside another, the lights were on. He opened the door slowly, but it got stuck and he couldn't open it more. There was something behind it.

He peered through the gap «Hey? The hell is going on?»

It was a bathroom; at first he didn't see anyone, then he looked down...and it was hard to not look away: He Tian was on the floor, resting on his forearms and knees. His head low and his shirt gone.

His skin would have probably look pale as snow, instead it was covered with big hematomas. The entire surface of his back, from his shoulder blades to his hips, was stained in purple and dark red circles all as big as Mo GuanShan hand, if not bigger.

The worse were on his ribcage, Mo GuanShan recognized the shape of a boot on his last rib.

He Tian coughed, and it must have caused so much pain, that his knuckles went white through his fist. Yet he emitted no sound, no complain.

«What the fuck?!» 

Crawling through the door's gap, careful not to hit He Tian's legs, Mo GuanShan got inside and kicked something that rolled near the bathtub.

Besides He Tian, all over the floor, there were bottles of disinfectant, gauzes and cold packs.

«I'm fine» said He Tian, voice hoarse  «It's nothing».

Mo GuanShan did nothing, he just stood there, watching while He Tian picked up one cold pack.

Watching while his trembling legs made him barely stand.

Watching as he walked outside the bathroom, leaving Mo GuanShan alone. He looked at the floor, stained with little dots of blood.

His hands started trembling with anger. 

He ran towards the entrance, finding He Tian sitting on the bed, cold pack resting on his rib.

«Why am I here!!!??» yelled Mo GuanShan looking directly into He Tian's eyes «What the hell are you planning??!»

He Tian looked back dead serious «Because it's safer»

«What the fuck do you care?» hissed Mo GuanShan, getting closer «What do you want uh? Why would someone like you wanted to help me? I was there with them! It's my fault too you almost died! It's my fault you're injured so badly» he pointed at He Tian «I was ready to sell you, tell me what's behind this»

He Tian was silent.

«TELL ME!»

Nothing happened for a moment. Then He Tian took away the cold pack, squeezing it between his hands.

«I was eight the first time someone tried to kidnap me. It didn't go well for them, luckily one of my brother's men was nearby. The second time I was thirteen. It went different that time. When I was finally back home, seventy two hours later, and I looked at myself in the mirror, you know what I saw? It wasn't fear, it wasn't panic. The only thing I could see in my eyes, was the pure, intense desire to be better. I wanted to be so strong, so powerful, that no one would ever try again. So that I could take care of myself, so that I could take my fate in my own hands»

He Tian looked at Mo GuanShan, and slowly he raised one hand, brushing softly his hair, for a second.

«The moment you took away the eyefold I immediately recognized it in your eyes. That feeling, that deep, strong, desire. I knew what was happening even before I heard it directly from them. You were, in a way, more in trap than I was. That's why you're here...and that's why you're going away tomorrow. And you'll never see me again. You'll finally be able to be the way you want to be. Because now you know, and now you can be better» 

He put the cold pack back to his side, smiling «Of course I also thought you were really cute» he grinned «Ah, maybe love at first sight~?»

Mo GuanShan was speechless, he took one step back, looking at his feet «You're completely crazy»

He Tian laughed, but immediately regretted it «I guess» he said. 

Mo GuanShan closed his eyes for a second, taking a long breath. Then he went back to the bathroom, fetching the gauzes and everything that could be useful. 

When he went back, He Tian furrowed his eyebrows. 

«I'm not sure if I can still trust you, and as soon as I know everything fine at my house, I'm definitely going to get the fuck out of here. Until then…» he gestured at He Tian with his chin «Turn around». 

He Tian shaked his head, smiling and showing his back to Mo GuanShan.

Carefully Mo GuanShan put some ointment in almost every wound, tying the cold packs over it.

«Love at first sight for sure» he hummed

«Shut it, you crazy fucker» he slapped his back, making He Tian squirm «Now your face»

He Tian's nose was still a bit swollen, Mo GuanShan was ready to put some ointment on it, when he noticed He Tian looking directly into his eyes.

«What?»

He Tian looked so serious «I don't know if I want tomorrow to ever come»

Mo GuanShan felt his throat tightening. He gulped, shrugging «Can't you see it's four am? It's already tomorrow, and I'm still here»

With a leap, He Tian threw himself over Mo GuanShan, kissing him strongly and messily. Mo GuanShan was barely able to free himself from He Tian's grip.

«STOP IT!!»

He Tian hugged him tightly, rubbing his cheek over Mo GuanShan's belly «Definitely love at first sight»

He said, smiling.

-.-.-.-.

Sorry for the long wait! Hope you liked it! Please let me know your thoughts! Being a continuation of a fic based on a fanart, I guess it’s still right to thank @bisho-s, who inspired this! Thanks!

Patreon

[bnhavibes]

That's fine 😊💞 -🐇anon

Birthday boy love!😽

Sometimes Kirishima could never figure you out.

It was his birthday, and yet you had been so distant and aloof with him all day. To put it in his own words, you weren’t treating him like he was very manly today, and it was making him upsetti spaGHETTI!!!

(a/n: isn’t my boi so fcKinG PRECIOUS)

The rest of the Bakusquad couldn’t tell him, but you had something very special lined up for him.

As you disappeared from his sight, he was getting more and more disassociate with his friends; He was more concerned with the cold shoulder you had been giving him all day than the fact that his buddies were trying to make him feel better by letting him win a few rounds in a video game. He couldn’t focus, though, on anything besides the fact that you were all hiding something from him.

Eventually, he snapped. “Alright, what’s going on?” He asks, placing his controller onto the coffee table with a deep huff.

“What do you mean, dumbass?” Bakugo said, snatching the controller from the table for his own turn. “You’re finally beating Denki at zombies, and it’s your birthday so shouldn’t you be happy or something Shitty Hair?”

“Is... Is something going on with (Y/N) that I don’t know about?” He asked tenderly, scratching his head to avoid the sharp head turns of his friends.

“What makes you say that, cmon bro you know she’s just like this sometimes.” Kaminari answers, shoving some chips in his mouth.

“Dunno. I guess she’s just been ignoring me I think?” His brows furrowed before digging in his pocket for his phone before shooting you a ‘where did you go?’ text.

“Nah, why would she ignore you! Give her a break, it’s not like she’s out cheating on you or someth— OUCH!!” Denki yelped, a fist smashing his head down.

“Why the hell would you say that dumbass!? You’re just gonna make him upset.” Bakugo gritted through his teeth. Kirishima looked at Bakugo with concern.

“Wh-What makes you think she— No. No, you’re lying.” He squeaked, getting up despite the protesting shouts between the two.

“She’s NOT doing anything BRO, come oN! Let’s just play games!!” Denki’s cries were results of Bakugo beating on him for speaking such negative things into the world.

—————————————————————————

After you left the lounge, you sped your way up to your dorm room. You only had a matter of time before Eji would notice you were missing and come looking for you. You pulled your hair out of the dutch braids they were in. He always loved seeing the wild way your faux curls settled on your shoulders. As soon as you got in your room, you stripped yourself of clothing, quickly coating your skin in a cocoa butter lotion to hydrate and a spritz or two of your man’s favorite perfume before running over to your dressers.

You pulled out a deep maroon colored lace bodysuit that came with matching lace panties and garter. You pulled on thigh high nylon socks, hands shaking as you prepared for your present. A sigh left your lips as you looked your reflection over on the screen of the blank TV in your room. You silently prayed he would like it. You lightly coat your lips in a strawberry flavored chapstick, jumping just a little as a throat cleared behind you. You felt your cheeks heat up as the man of the hour himself popped up.

“B-Baby!” You exclaim, swiftly making your way over to his arms but he stops you at arm length. A confused pout sat across your lips, pulling the bottom one out just a bit as you looked at the hand on your chest. “W-What is th—”

“What can of softie do you think I am?” His tone is harsh, the growing scowl on his face throwing you off more.

“Eji— Oh!” You were pulled his direction, him pinning your back against the door as he shut it.

“You think you can just walk all over me, huh, (Y/N)?” He spat, causing you to wince.

“Baby, I—?”

“No, don’t ‘baby’ me!” He scoffed, “Denki says you’re cheating on me, is that why you’re dressed like this huh?”

Instantly you face palmed, “I’m going to kill Denki.” You grumbled, to Kirishima’s dismay. He frowned, assuming that meant he was right. “This is one sick way to stop you from playing games and send you up here.”

Kirishima groaned, “Don’t bullshit me, (Y/N)!”

“No, Kiri-chan, I’m serious! I told the dumbass to fucking send you up here as soon as he got an opening. I— I wanted to surprise you... It’s your b-birthday afterall, and I... Wanted to make you feel special.” You were fiddling with your fingers as you stared at your fidgeting feet between his big shoes. “But I guess he said something stupid like I was cheating? That doesn’t make any sense, why would Denki want you to think I was cheating on you?”

He sighed.

“Well, when ya put it like that... I—I guess I should say I let my emotions take control of me.... Now that I think about it, I acted really unmanly instead of listening to Katsuki fend for ya. And you know he’s the kind who wouldn’t do it just to cover for you! God, I’m so glad it was a misunderstanding.” He said, pulling you into an apologetic hug; Picking you up by your hips and inhalely sharply as he pressed your body into the door.

(Shook) Dumbfounded, you wrap your arms around his chest anyways. It wasn’t until you buried your face in the crook of his neck that you realised just exactly what you were doing before he interrupted. A smile spread acros your lips as you began to plant subtle kisses on his hot skin.

Subconsciously, his hips twitch; the warmth between your scantily clad legs beginning to pool a delicious slick. He gasps a little, running his hands up your torso and massaging your breasts a little before stroking through your hair.

Breaths getting heavy; your lips finally meet, and the moist feeling in your panties began to leak a little from the way Kirishima was rubbing the bulge in his pants against the centre of your thinly covered clit.

“Mm, (Y/N), you know just how to get a guy going, huh?” He pants on your lips, licking at the bits of drool that were dribbling out the corners of your mouth a bit. “You’re so lewd, baby! Oh, my god, it’s like I can do the tiniest— oh!” His traveling hand finds its way to your core, fingers delicately tapping along your aroused pussy. “Geez, you’re so wet, already, huh?” He plunges his fingers past your panty line to coat his fingers in your essence, causing you to moan shakily, trembling as the nimble tips of his calloused fingers danced around your folds and trickling around your neglected hole.

“Oh, Eji~” You moan in his ear, grasping his hair at the back of his head with one hand and holding yourself up with the other one; wrapping your other arm around his shoulders, behind his neck.

“Mmmph. You look so lewd, all dressed up for me, whimpering at my touch.” His voice is low, rumbling in your ear before he removed his hands.

Taking it as as opening, you quickly run your hand to his sweats, knowing he goes commando when he gets home, yanking them down just enough to whip the hard member beneath it.

“Wa-Wait, no, I’m leadi— Ohhhhnnnmmmm— G-Goddd...” His protests fell into a string of curse words, you had forced his entire length into your tight walls, not letting yourself adjust as he streched you out. You sigh in relief, waiting for Kiri boi to catch his breath. “You’re really something else, you know. You never cease to amaze me.”

“Happy Birthday, Daddy.” You moan in his ear, nibbling at his earlobe gently and the next thing you know you’re in the air. Kirishima tossed you onto the bed, not giving you an opening to get up before he leaped onto your back, ripping your panties to the side and shoving his dick back into you. You moan loudly, jumping your lower half to your knees and backing into his hips as he snapped them into your ass.

“Oh, baby. You’re s...oo... tight,” He groans as he exhales, gripping your hips gently while relentlessly slamming into your now clentching walls. “Call me the name... Please.” He whispers.

“Ohhhhhnnnggg, Red Daddy Riot. You fill me up so well, I— Ohhh!” You mewl as his pace increases. “Happy birthday, Daddy. Oh! Yeeeeeesss. Fuck!! Me!!! U-Use your Q-Quirk!!~”

“B-Baby! Oh, go-god you make me feel so manly, I— I love you.” He moans before he grabs you by the hair and oushes your head down into the bed.

The naughty words leaving your lips fuels the fire in the boy’s stomach, but being the good boy Kirishima was, he did as he was told. Using his Quirk in the lightest amount possible so that he didn’t literally tear you apart. (only metaphorically ty.)

You scream in pleasure as you feel his dick solidify and thicken in waves, showing his brief use of the quirk to be just so deliciously hard inside your aching cunt.

“(Y/N)... Ohhh, shhhHHHHIT!” He groans as your juices begin spraying out of your hole in response to him sloshing around your drenched walls. You were so wet for him, it had been pushed out every time his cock went to fill you up; Your legs, along with Kirishima’s shirt, sweatpants, and thighs, were coated in your slick.

“Cum in me, Daddy. Fill your lewd baby up with your cum. Please, Red Daddy Riot, I want your cum in mee~!” You moan as your legs start trembling from the excitement (mixed with a little bit of fear of Kiri losing control of his Quirk, but a LOT of pleasure from his cock).

His last bucks are sloppy, but you can feel his dick pulsate so literally due his Quirk, and you cum again, your own orgasm spraying out, and soaking your bodies once more.

“(Y-Y/N)?” Kirishima’s voice shaky as he recollects himself; Removing his cock from your body and turning your body to face him,

“Yes, Daddy?” You coyly reply.

He moans, “God, if you get pregnant, just remember you told me to— hey!”

You kicked him in his side. “What the hell, Eji!?”

“IM JUST KIDDING LOVEBUG I WAS TRYING TO BE FUNNY— I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE YOU ANGryyyy....” He whines, tackling your body and wrestling to pin your arms by your head.

“Get off me, ya punk!” You cry, kicking and shimmying— your attempt to get out of his hold.

“But it’s my Birthday!”

You cave.

——————————————————————————

hope you enjoy! i am partially intoxicated as I type this so pls forgive any mistakes! 🥺🥺😭😭

[thesubjectandthescientist]

Away: Guilt

It’s an Away short! This happens a few months after An Apology...

...

 I sit alone on the front porch. Ava and the Subject-I mean ‘kid’...I promised Ava I’d stop calling her ‘the Subject’. They’ve been here all day. It’s gone well but I just need a moment to myself. 

 I’m so tired. I thought apologizing would alleviate my guilt so I could sleep but it didn’t. Apologizing just made me realize exactly how horrible I had been. 

 I hear the front door open behind me. I briefly hope that it’s Ava but I hear the kid’s footsteps. 

 “Um, h-hi,” she says, quietly, “Ava said I should check on you. Are...you okay?” 

 “I’m fine,” I mutter, hoping she goes back inside. I’m not in the mood to try to be better. 

 “What are you doing?” she presses, sitting down next to me. I fight the urge to move away from her. 

 “Nothing. You can go back inside.”

 “I don’t want to leave you alone. Being alone hurts.” Her voice trembles when she says that last sentence. 

 I remember every time I left her alone in her room in the basement and how many times she begged me not to. I never listened to her. 

 “I’m sorry,” I mumble. She gives me a slightly confused look. 

 “...Oh, I didn’t-um-I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” she quickly adds, “I was just saying that you shouldn’t be alone. You already feel bad and being alone will just make you feel worse. So I’m just gonna sit here with you. We don’t even have to talk or anything.” She goes quiet. 

 ...This isn’t so bad. I would rather be alone though. I don’t feel comfortable around her. I sigh heavily.

 “Do...do you want me to leave?” she asks, quietly. 

 “What? Oh, no, I’m just tired. You’re fine.”

 “Why are you tired?” 

 “Didn’t sleep.”

 “Why not? Is it because you’re alone? I can come back,” she exclaims, jumping up, “I can tell Ava that you need me and I can come back and we can be together again!”

 “No, no, kid, we...we’ve talked about this,” I pause. I have to word this right or Ava’s gonna be mad at me. “It’s just not the best thing for you to live with me again. You’re much better off with Ava.”

 “Oh.” She slowly sits down again with a disappointed look. 

 “You like Ava, don’t you?” I quickly add. 

 “Yeah, she’s nice and she takes good care of me,” she mumbles. 

 “C’mon, kid, don’t be like that. You know that Ava really cares about you and you’re safe with her.” That doesn’t seem to help. “...And I’ll always be here and you can visit me whenever you want,” I add, reluctantly, “I won’t leave.”

 “...Okay,” she says, her usual smile coming back. 

 “Good,” I breathe a sigh of relief. 

 “Can I ask you something?”

 “Sure.”

 “Do...do you care about me?” she asks, nervously. 

 I catch myself before I automatically answer ‘no’. I told myself for years that I couldn’t care about her but things have changed. 

 I’m just now letting myself believe that she’s a child. 

 A child that I horribly tortured for years. 

 I don’t deserve her. 

 “D-did you hear me?” she barely whispers. I can hear the fear in her voice. She’s been answered ‘no’ to that question too many times. 

 “...I do,” I mumble my reply, staring out into the woods. I don’t hear anything from her. 

 Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to admit that. I am the one who tortured her for years. To tell her that I care about her must be confusing. 

 I glance at her. Her hands are over her face. 

 “Uh, kid?” I hope she’s not crying. Ava lectured me for an hour the last time I made her cry. “Are...you okay?”

 “I’m fine!” she exclaims, looking up at me, “I’m not crying or anything. I was just really happy and I wanted to hug you but I know you don’t like that. Do you really care about me?!”

 I nod, hoping she doesn’t try to hug me. Her smile grows. 

 “I care about you too! Do you feel better now?” 

 “Yeah, sure, kid,” I mutter, sarcastically, “It’s hard to stay completely depressed when I’m sitting next to the literal definition of optimism.” 

 “Good!” She doesn’t seem to catch on to my sarcasm. She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the door. “Now let’s go inside because it’s cold and Ava told me that you need to come inside and eat something.” 

 “Uh, sure.” I follow her into the house, closing the front door behind us. 

 “Ava!” she calls out, “I got him inside!”

 “Great!” I hear my sister’s voice from the kitchen, “Bring him into the kitchen, I made something for him to eat.” 

 “Av, you didn’t have to make anything,” I tell her as the kid drags me into the kitchen, “I can take care of myself.”

 “Oh?” she mutters, raising a brow at me, “Tell me, what have you had to eat today?”

 “I had...coffee,” I mutter, crossing my arms. 

 “Eat,” she orders, placing a bowl on the kitchen table. “It’s your favorite, mac and cheese.” 

 “Fine.” I sit down at the table and take a bite. “Thank you, this is fantastic,” I say in a sarcastic monotone, “Are you happy now?”

 “Yes, now promise me you’ll eat all of it and we’ll be on our way.”

 “Yeah, sure,” I mumble, taking another bite. 

 “Aw, we’re leaving?” the kid speaks up. 

 “Yes, sweetie,” Ava replies, getting her bag, “It’s starting to get late and we have to get home. We’ll be back tomorrow.” She looks at me. “Unless you have a problem with that?” 

 “...Nope.” I know better than to object. 

 “Good. C’mon, kid-“

 “Wait, Av, I need to talk to you before you go,” I interrupt. She pauses with the kid in the kitchen doorway. 

 “Okay, go ahead.” 

 “Just you,” I say, glancing at the kid. 

 “Oh...um.” Ava kneels down in front of her child. “Can you go wait in the car? I’ll be right there, okay?” 

 “Okay,” she replies, “Can I say ‘bye’ first?” Ava smiles and nods. The kid runs over to me. “I have to leave now but I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise. Bye!” 

 “...Okay, bye.” She smiles at me and waves as she goes out the door. 

 Ava sits down across from me. I wait until I hear the front door open and close before I say anything. 

 “Well, first, thanks for this,” I mumble, pointing to the bowl in front of me, “I appreciate it.”

 “You’re welcome. You need to take better care of yourself,” she remarks. “So what’s up? Got another child hidden in the basement that you’ve tortured for five years?” 

 “Ava...” I sigh heavily. 

 “You deserve that and you know it,” she mutters. “What is it?”

 “...I-uh-the kid asked if I cared about her and I said I did so could you maybe have a talk with her and make sure she understands that...um...” My voice trails off into guilty silence. I sigh. “...That what I did to her was very wrong and that people don’t do that to those they care about, y’know?”

 “I know. I’ll talk to her.”

 “Thanks,” I mutter, lowering my head, “I don’t want her confused about that.”

 “Hey, look at me,” she says, softly. I reluctantly meet her eyes. “You’re doing really good. Keep it up, huh?” I nod. She smiles. “Good. Now eat,” she says, getting up, “We’ll be back tomorrow.”

 “Thanks, Av.” 

 “Of course, bro,” she says, pausing in the doorway, “What would you do without me?” I smile. “See ya.”

 “See ya,” I reply. I hear the front door open and close as she leaves. 

 I stare at the bowl in front of me. What would I do without her? 

[rchime]

October 14th - 15th 2017

Warning: This posts will have tons of typos, bad grammar and bad English in general. If you don’t mind you can (politely) correct me, cause y’know English isn’t my native language and I’m still trying to improve my English

I went camping. Not alone definitely, but with my friends. I didn’t want to go, at first, but I feel it’s like duty, I confess. So, I went regardless. Thankfully, it didn’t turn out as bad as I thought it would be.

We went around 4 or 5 pm (sorry, my memory and concept of time are pretty bad), with motorcycle. There was like 12 motorcycles. It was pretty tiring, my back hurts so much. Not to mention, it was my first day of period, so imagine that: period cramps + sitting on motorcycle for approximately 5 hours, yep that was a fucking hell. There was a moment when we got separated and half of us ‘lost’, so we need to wait for them (there’s one motorcycle went back to looking for them, and guide them to our place. I was in the “waiting” group, so I have to waited for around an hour, before the “separated” group arrived. After that we were continuing our journeys and the road to that place was winding and kinda steep (well what do I expect it’s on a fucking mountain lmao). Not to mention the s" road was dark as hell and scary, cause there’s barely any houses and lots of trees and bushes (again it’s a mountain what do I expect, right?). Half of our team (motorcycles) weren’t powerful enough to ‘climb’ the road, so we helped each other with ‘pushing’ the motorcycles and move the 'passanger’ (idk what is called in motorcycle lmao). My motorcycle was heated up and there was smoke coming from the engine, thankfully my motorcycle made it (and still kicking ass until now).

Finally we arrived at the site, it’s called Pabangbon Camp Ground. When we were afraid we didn’t go to the locket -to buy ticket- staight away, we went to the toilet first (something that I had been waiting for lmao). After that we went up to the camping ground’s locket to bought tickets. Then, they opened the portal for us so we could pass and went up to the camping ground (and the road was rocky and steep as hell, that was fucking scary man). The camp ground was dark as hell, I couldn’t see anything (except the pine trees and grounds), we even couldn’t recognize each other without flashlight. There, we chose the place to 'built’ our tents with the help of the guides ofc. Even though the camp ground isn’t that big, but it seems like it was so big, perhaps because cold weather, darkness and tiredness. Surprisingly I was 'doing well’ with the coldness (I thought I would started sneezing uncontrollably or started wheezing, thankfully it didn’t happen at all), but one of our friend didn’t 'do well’ with the coldness and started trembling so we tried to keep her warm. She wore like 3 layers of sweater and jackets, I don’t remember that precisely but she was covered in tons of clothes (including scarves and gloves). We waited for few minutes until we found the place.

*I took that picture when I was waiting for the place to set up out tents

After we found the 'perfect place’ we set up our tent and preparing the campfire. I didn’t do anything that time but kept myself warm and talked with my friends. When everything’s done we took a rest and I entered the girls tent. That’s… I don’t remember that much honestly, but I remember we 'sneaking’ foods. We were chatting and ate few packs of pocky before we went down to changes our clothes.

*Here's the picture of pocky + myfeet + my friends hands, enjoy...(?)

The toilets weren’t comfortable (but hey it was better than nothing). When we were going back to our tents, I was looking up to the sky and realizing that the sky was so clear. Well, considering I live in the city, there’s lot of pollution and stuff so I almot never see the clear night sky. For a moment I enjoyed the clear night sky, where I can actually see the stars, a lot of stars. It was so beautiful and magical (can’t imagine if I actually can see northern light, I will passed out perhaps). When we got back to our tents, we had dinner. It wasn’t that fancy, just rice, roasted chickens, roasted sausages and… That’s it. We used brown paper (idk we called that “kertas bungkus nasi”) as the plates. We ate together, in line , idk what’s the English term for that, and I hope I have a picture of that (sorry I was too hungry and too tired to took a picture, it wasn’t my priority).

After dinner I entered the tent and tried to take a little bit rest a.k.a sleeping. (Yup, I wasn’t helping cleaning up the mess after dinner, I am a horrible 'friend’ what do you expect lmao). I was fell asleep for one two minutes, we (everyone inside the girls tent) called to get out, to have a discussion, which is one of our reason why we went there. (There’s a reason why we chose to have discussion in the middle of nowhere, but I can’t tell you, y'know organizational stuff). Then we gather around the campfire and started the discussion which is the goals to solve our problems and introspection for us to be better (and certain, specific person). I can’t give you any overviews (considering I didn’t give any input at that discussion cause I was so tired and sleepy af, so my brain didn’t work as good as usual, not to mention I was fall asleep in the (not so) middle discussion -yep, I am horrible 'friend’ I told ya-, and when I woke up the discussion was done lmao). Right after that we definitely not go to sleep (what do you expect bro), instead we were doing a simulation. What kind of simulation? Again I’ll say this is organizational stuff, can’t tell ya. But, the simulation didn’t go well one of our friends was passed out, so we were panicking and stop the simulation and most of us get into the tent. It was kinda scary cause we thought it had to do with supranatural stuff (perhaps it was, but pretty sure tiredness play pary in that too). I other girls weren’t sleeping (except two persons), and we went down again to pray (shalat subuh), cause surprise surprise we found out it was almost dawn.

My friends planned to take a picture of sunrise, but they decided to take that after praying, but sadly we were too late. -Just a note, the mushola (place where we were pray) wasn’t in ‘perfect’ place to take any sunrise picture, that’s why even tho I wasnt praying (cause I was in my period), I didn’t take any picture either-. But still even though we didn’t get the sunrise pic, we take pictures still. I’m actually don’t really like taking picture (especially of myself cause I look like potato lmao), so I just enjoying the scenery. Seriously tho that was one of the best scenery i’ve ever seen, well keep in mind I rarely go to places cause a) I’m indoor person b) I’m broke lmao. I took few pictures of the scenery… and myself surprisingly, cause my friends suggest me to and I’m not really against it, deep down I always want to take pictures wherever I go, but I don’t have any confidence for that (please, don’t be like me, ok?), but asI expected I look really awkward in literally all pictures, even the ones where I don’t show my face, cause it seems like my gesture and posture already awkward by default. Here’s I’ll share few pictures that I and my friends took (they took all the pictures where I’m in frame, so all the scenery pics are mine).

*Just so you know I edited the pictures so it seems more ‘alive’ cause I just took it with my (and my friends) phone camera and it didn’t look that ‘pleasant’ (imo), and I’m so sorry that i ‘censored’ my friend and my own faces cause as I mentioned before I’m not confident and for my friend, just in case she don’t want her face to be shown everywhere without her consent. -I haven’t told my friends about the existence of this blog, perhaps sometimes in the future(?)

After we were taking pictures, we went to our tent again to change our clothes (again), and then few of us went down to have breakfast, and few others were sleeping. There’s few who were taking pictures too, and I was just sitting down with enjoying the moment (I guess… can’t remember precisely sorry). When the ‘breakfast’ group got backwe were sitting nearby the valley (where I and my friend was taking pictures). We were chatting and eating pop mie and drinking black tea. Because of the cold wind and lack of sleep (ofc) I fell asleep (again). After that, we went to our tent again to prepare to go home. We ‘break’ the tent and cleaning up the mess. Then, we went down, and the adventure to go home just started.

The way down the mountain actually isn’t that bad, except that rocky stree, that was hell. The place was crowded when we left, cause aside from the camping ground, Pabangbon have other attarction called Pabangbon Panorama (you can google that, it’s so beautiful). Unlike when we went (at night) the view when we go home was so beautiful, sadly I’m not expert in recording or taking picture while in motorcycle (even tho I’m just a passanger). But almost all of my friends documented that and even upload it on Youtube (I’ll show you the video at the end of post). I can’t tell you much what’s happening on the streets, cause I was sleepy af and not anly me but all of us were sleepy af. Even the ones that ride the motorcycle (the driver) drinks Kratingdaeng (similar to Red Bull) so they can stay awake. Fast forward we arrived at our basecamp. few go home straight away when they arrived, but I wasn’t go home straight away, cause I was sleepy and I learned my lesson about riding-motorcycle-while-you-are-sleepy (thank god, it wasn’t involving accident), so I took a nap for few minutes, then go back hom.

When I arrived home, the first thing that I did was taking shower (so unusual for me lmao), cause I feel so dirty. After that I feel so fresh and clean (no shit sherlock). Actually I planned to wash my clothes before sleep, but sadly my body was too tired for that, so yeah as you can guess, I feel asleep again.

Aaannd that’s it, the story stops there. I’m not a writer (but I’d like to try to write), so i don’t know how to close the story. Sorry if that sounds boring and confusing (perhaps because of my semi-broken English, sorry), but trust me it was one of the best experience I’ve ever have, sounds cheesy, I know, but that’s true. So, to close this post I give you the video about our journey as I promised.

Here’s the video.

*In case you don’y know Pabangbon located at Leuwiliang, Bogor. That’s why it’s written on the title. In case you want to know I am that awkward girl with bad haircut, blue backpack and wear mask most of time.

[valgee]

416 Cigarettes

I walked out of that job; the second job I’ve flat fuckin walked away from because a corporate promotion was a way to get paid more to do more to get paid less to still do more. This aligned causally with an actual factual divorce, my own, I was spiraling down the familiar avenues of self-destruction and loathing in Las Vivas. 

I found inspiration in an old flame. She messaged me sweet music and abruptly left the conversation when I hollowly expounded on my future plans to move away with my spouse. The declaration felt empty; I realized that she in my shoes wouldn’t continue to be unhappy. That was the genesis of my resolve.

My grandmother was in the hospital again; my dad made it sound quite dire. I resolved to visit and then never return home once I was on the open road. Ocean Springs had become a broiling cesspot of bad emotions and confusion infused negativity. The literal plan was to drive forever, see every friend on the planet, run out of gas, and fling myself off the nearest bridge. What actually happened was 20 days of pure unadulterated traveling and freedom, 65 hours of road time, and 4,242 more lodged into my personal mileage.

The first stop was Obligation, I visited my ailing grandma who was more assailed by a macabre atmosphere centered around her inevitable death that she would prefer not to be constantly reminded of. It was my between my father and my Aunt Mae to take care of her, as her third and youngest child had eschewed responsibility in the wake of my grandfather’s death, who had been paying her to take care of grandma and “When mama dies, that’s when we’ll get the real money.” The iceberg of disgust was rearing from an ocean of contempt when my cousin and Aunt Mae addressed me sincere, for the first time, about my relationship with my father, or the lack thereof. In my two decades of visiting there, it had never been explicitly stated by any member of the family, at least not direct to me or my sister, about how my father had fought in court for partial custody, two weeks every summer, except we went for two months because it was a full half of our family. My sister and I never saw our dad during those two months, save for a few days at the beginning and end. Vindication was the sensation of Obligation, a rider to the discomfort so fine; we were all discovering the darker natures of each other amidst the cloud of deaths future and past. I found mine in a father estranged yet so much like myself, I don’t want to be him, I don’t want to become him. I was an excuse to escape his own Obligation, time spent with offspring was a rare chance. The irony was lost on him, that it was so rare of his own volition, and now sought rabidly as a superior solution to fomenting his mother’s wasting away with his candid appeals to activity that she sloughed off for the dishonesty it was. I sloughed off him, too, and escaped to my next destination after a terse visit.

I ran out of gas in Ohio. I trekked a mile to the nearest gas station that did not sell gas cans. In the adjoining Subway, in the bathroom, I made a friend who only came there to piss, as he told me, and I, too, came there to piss, but also pick grass out of my socks, accrued from the highwayside walkabout. As I set out to the next gas station, the bathroom man offered me a ride, promising me he had nothing but time. I acquired my can, I acquired my gas and he extended his offer  to drive me to my car. On the ride over, he told me his entire fuckin life story. He was a drug dealer from the podunk town in Ohio I was now in, he’d gone to Miama (Ohio) one weekend and come back with a kid, can you fuckin believe it, my baby mama only ever calls to fight or fuck and my girlfriend, who I’m livin with, hates that, you know? But Iunno, I’ll go over there and lay a line of coke down and she’ll, like, bend over, and rip it and back that ass up, she’s got a nice ass, you know? My girlfriend does, too, they got nice asses, Iunno. See, I like you, I can tell you anything and you don’t know shit, you don’t fuckin know anyone.

The second stop was Liberation, my dear friends Parla and Kelly in the Windy city I love. I rediscovered my Air element in the playful streets and inviting sunshine; this would be the last time I brought nice weather with me. I found Parla in a trend of bashful but passionate feminism but I was not yet shook of my tangled brain to connect with her genuinely, but I wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to qualify her validity to me, to me. She taught me macrame on a heated roof, we let strings dance in the wind. We laughed together in sopored stupor. I met her downstairs convenience bang, he brought me to his brazilian jujitsu class and I flattened myself for the experience. At first, he seemed threatened by me; he couldn’t fathom a masculine presenting presence having a dual platonic relationship with two attractive feminine presenting entities. He thought I had to banging one of ‘em. I couldn’t just be being friends. But we do. We are. I love them. We broed out with the irony lost on him; I struggle to relate my newfound gender identity to new people. I struggle to relate it to old friends who knew me before I knew me, but I felt as accepted as I ever was with them. Kelly came to me, drunker than she’d ever been, and cried in my lap. I wasn’t sure why she was upset, she couldn’t seem to articulate it or anything else, but I helped her into bed, glad I could be there for her. I may have overstayed my welcome, squatting in the daybed for a week, but I love that city. I reconnected with Roni and they gave me my highest highs, and my lowest lows, journeying to the highrise dance parties, and the basement bar belows. I left Chicago only with the promise of my closest friend to see next, my Water.

The third stop was Reconfiguration, I reconvened with the squidlord, TJ, and he opened his home to me fully and I could feel my soul reaching exponential bouts of healing here. I walked the streets of Perkasie, Pennsylvania, and garnered strange looks for my queer appearance. I got lost but I enjoyed it. He played hooky and took me to NYC where we see the Times Square, we Tai Chi in Central Park, and he misses his girlfriend’s texts. I am reminded of the spouse I left and the passive aggression for my identical transgressions. I ate street food, I poured out my entire romantic history to him as he strummed his ukelele. I didn’t mean to keep it so secret; our time together in college lent to a dual lifestyle: romantic and social were separate. I don’t know that he understands more now, but he knows more now; water struggles to perfectly reflect the shape and source of fire. Since the beginning of my trip, I had struggled with my break-up. In Chicago I had made peace, in Perkasie I found it. TJ, ever the empath, skirted the topic of suicide, and renewed his disdain for the exit. We listened to Listener, their newer work topical. I wanted him to reinvite me to live with him, but he didn’t. I left for my next destination, between NC and Chicago, my oldest internet friends implored me to visit, and given the week between opportunities to link up, I had gone to Perkasie. So, I carted off to Fort Wayne, Indiana.

My fourth destination was Sublimation, the subtlety, the transcendent, the phase change. I showed up late, and was greeted with first a soft intensity inside eyes. I descended into their basement and ensconced my weird ass in their wonderful family. Soothing cold fingers lightly brushed my heated skin as I imbibed the alcohol I’m super allergic to, to catch up with everyone else. I remember dancing, I remember thinking to be careful and respectful, she has a boyfriend, I remember dancing close enough to nudge once accidentally, and every subsequent wanton nudge was frivolously shameless. I don’t remember what happened next. I woke up, still drunk, and naked, in a bedroom I didn’t recognize. I regrouped and pissed and found my bearings, and she was there, her neck torn to shreds, a signature of mine reserved for my deepest drunken emotions. I haven’t done that to someone since I had my skeleton rended from my body, years ago. I didn’t remember, but the memory was there, buried in her earth, and I could feel it, and I do remember that next morning I spent digging for the memory with her again. And again and again. I almost made her late for work. I slept on the couch to shake off the drink and hangover, and awoke to dinner plans once she and her mother returned home from work. I was made conscious of my current unemployed status, and I wore the bruises she gave me on my neck defiantly. We talked about what happened without remorse. We flirted casually and lightly, hunting Pokemon with her family in their mammoth obsessed hometown. I tried to climb one at her behest, but I could feel my core trembling, my legs still weak. I had given her all of my fire. We returned home and made love again and again. There wasn’t single awkward silence in the immense amount of silence we shared, the intense longing eye contact we shared, the energy flowing between us that we shared. By this time, I had no money left to simultaneously feed myself and put gas in my car to make it home. I didn’t want to leave her, but I promised to return sooner than possible. I left with a heart beat I could hear again. I had forgotten what it was to fall in love with someone naturally and not try to force it for old times. My final destination was the only one planned before I left.

My fifth stop was Syncopation. My friend, Brandon, in Memphis, and his musical stylings. I arrived through the night, into the day, and met his improv friend on no sleep. I wrote for him in his journal, and he wrote for me. By this time I hadn’y paid my phone bill for a month and had no chance of doing so now. Without data, I couldn’t message Her without a wifi connection. It was a less than optimal situation; I feared giving the impression of nonchalance. Brandon played me a ballad, dedicated to me and my journey, and I rapped over it with an honest retelling of the Story So Far + Some Other Tangential Things. He lamented not recording it. I love things that live in moments. I spent one night and the next day. While he worked, I went with Shelby, his roommate, and also my old friend from college, to her place of work, the Memphis Zoo, where she got me in for free. I wandered the animals, and took in the sunshine. I saw a woman hit her head on a wall in the Nightmare room, but she was fine. I proceeded to get ultra lost in Memphis, and unable to connect to even Starbucks wifi. I navigated by touch and cavalier direction picking and arrived at his house. I was unable to access the inside, though a former lover of Shelby’s was sleeping off a hangover within. Brandon came home, let me in, and I played videogames and read until he came home. The ex eventually left, and Shelby broke down in tears, disgusted by the experience. The ex was an emotional vampire, and Shelby struggled to say no. She blamed herself for reasons she shouldn’t have, the ex took advantage of her and Brandon’s hospitality. I remember being good at the kind of honesty good here.. I felt for her, but I didn’t know yet how to show it again. I’m glad I could be there for her, though. I left that night and arrived in Ocean Springs, only falling asleep at the wheel 14 times. I crashed direct into my bed, a cool $0.14 over target to make it home, indicator on E, and slept for a long time. 

Over the last two weeks, I’ve done nothing but pine for someone in Indiana, and my life on the road. By tomorrow, I’ll have both back, if the road only for a little while.