#like boring generic music boring generic mv sets no creativity in the styling

[cetoddle-archive]

i have noticed that lately boy groups have actually been doing a lot of fun and different concepts and i see more and more crop tops every day. finally. boy groups are fun and being slutty again. nature is healing

[sanstropfremir]

What are your thoughts on le sserafim? Tbh I'm kinda not interested in their model runway concept but maybe the music will be okay? I liked a little bit of the highlight medley.

i waited for the mv release + debut bc i was busy this week and i wanted to see the whole thing, and honestly? a little horrified and a lot bored. obvious problems that i'm going to get to aside, holy shit that is perhaps the most uninspiring and bland kpop mv i've ever seen. there is absolutely no life in that camera or in the editing or in the design itself. seriously? a primarily black and white colour palette with not a lick of high contrast? unironic instagram influencer styling? where is the fucking LIFE. where is CREATIVITY. where is the FLAVOUR!!! i know kpop is well known for being maximalist but there absolutely have been excellent minimalist mvs (queen blooming day) and it is an insult to the industry how fucking bland this is. there are few dynamic camera angles or cuts, and the general framing is very basic, so all of that combined with hybe's typical very long focal length (so the background is equally as clear as the foreground) make it stylistically plain. all the backgrounds are generally very empty with little to no set dec, and the set dec that is there is very obviously naturalistic; which, imo, is the antithesis to spectacle, which as we know is the foundation of the entire industry. but the really big kicker is the lighting is goddamn tragic. it's all the same basic blown out exposure evenly lit wash; you'll notice that there are very few shaped shadows or even shadows at all, which makes everything have the same tonal value and flat! light is the way that our eyes understand shape, so when you have no shadows at all and very little tonal variation, an image appears very two dimensional. let's use blooming day as an example. here's a screenshot from the very beginning of the mv, converted to black and white:

you can very clearly see the corner of the room, the fact that the chair and all the boys are on an angle, and how their faces are given structure by the shadows and lighting, even when there is no colour value. versus a screenshot from about the same place in the fearless mv (it was 0:03 and 0:04 respectively):

other than the kettle bells and the weight rack, there are no indicators of the size or shape of the space, it's just a flat wall. and if you look at the girls themselves, there are barely any shadows on their faces so they're just blobs with features! the two poor girls on the end don't even have chins! and there's a huge lack of understanding where and what your overall silhouettes are. the blooming day screenshot has a very clear and concise shape, whereas the fearless one is a mess of smaller shapes that all cross over each other with no real cohesion.

ok. now that i've yelled about the design, here's the other stuff. i don't care if gg stans try to come for me, but this choreo is INSANELY inappropriate. there are TWO minors in this group and one of them is fucking FIFTEEN. i even watched the debut show case to check and even though they altered the choreo i still think it's insanely inappropriate. the fact that those shots of the girls humping the floor made it into the mv at ALL even though the director and editors clearly knew it was fucked up and 'censored' it makes me want to fucking scream. i am going to scream.

[they-dont-get-my-back]

All right! I’ll send a few names in, the ones I remember and learned while watching NCT world 2.0

It’s going to be randomly, and it’s completely okay if you have less to say about some members 😊

Taeil, Yuta, Johnny, Taeyong.

Quick fact: Taeil was the first name I remembered because it sounded so cool.

The first four I want to know about, I’ll send in next few names in a separate ask.

I also hope I’m not bothering too much

So you've chosen... the hyung line 😎 Let's start with~~

T to the A to the E to the YONG

-> the leader of NCT 127 and NCT as a whole -> main rapper, main dancer (and always has a lot of suggestions regarding their choreographies), songwriter (he co-wrote or participated in writing lyrics for a lot of NCT songs) -> also a member of SM's super band SuperM -> most importantly though he's released several solo projects like the single Long Flight (under SM) and a mini-album worth of songs on his personal SoundCloud account (definitely check it out, he collaborated with EXO's Baekhyun and Red Velvet's Seulgi!) -> will be participating in a dance show Street Woman Fighter (alongside Kang Daniel, Boa, Jessi and more!) -> on stage he's in charge of the tough, the sexy, the bad and the growl, but in reality he is a shy fluff ball

-> sucker for expensive brand clothes (witness this on his Insta) -> lover of animals in all shapes and colours, from bugs to fish to dogs (witness this here) -> in love with sweet potatoes, Spongebob, videogames and Baekhyun -> has couple rings with Doyoung, because they are very very close -> is very creative, likes drawing or re-decorating while listening to chill jazz music or soundtracks -> likes to keep everything clean

Master Chef MOON TAEIL lezgedit

-> main main vocalist of NCT 127 (yes, the double main is intentional) -> you've heard the MAMA's performance, you know what this man can do, but if you're still not convinced, listen to Simon Says, Kick It, Chain or Coming Home (which is a lovely display of 127's supreme vocals) -> actually, check his covers, solos or collabs -> is a perfectionist while recording, will re-record every note up to the point where he loses his voice and then he still isn't satisfied -> has trouble shooting MVs cause he can't stop laughing -> is praised by everyone in the music industry for his vocals -> literally evereyone on this planet is waiting for his solo album (I'm looking at you, SM)

-> the oldest member of NCT, but acts as a maknae -> in charge of funny without trying, because most of the time he has no clue what's going on and says and does completely random things -> does aegyo once in a blue moon, but every time he does it, the Earth shakes in its core -> likes Stevie Wonder, EDM music and is generally the chillest NCT member (witness this here) -> not good with technology, it was only recently he discovered he can actually read fans' replies on Bubble :))))))) -> despite being sworn enemies with social media, he set up an Insta and broke the record for reaching one million followers under an hour -> Haechan's favourite toy hyung (witness their chemistry here) -> said to be sleepwalking -> loves working out and has a special power move called Taeil's butterfly, his abs are yet to be revealed -> rommate with Yuta and together they live in their own mess and filth :)))) -> has his own cooking segment -> I love him

And I'm JOHNNY SUH

-> main dancer, rapper (listen to Misfit, Dancing in the Rain or Work It) -> came to Korea all the way from Chicago -> joined SM in 2008 and trained with EXO members but eventually ended up in NCT -> had a radio segment with Jaehyun called "NCT's night night!" -> loves performing, loves attention, loves showing off -> likes DJing and did a house party once with Mark -> produced and/or filmed Mark's QTAH and Doyoung's cover

-> loves taking pictures (especially with analog cameras), calls it "Johntography" and sometimes share it oh his Insta! -> has a tremendously popular segment called Johnny's Communication Center that's been running for almost THREE YEARS -> a sweetheart with abs and lots of tattoos -> don't make fun of him though, he'll glare you to death -> an only child and mama's boy

Oppa NAKAMOTO YUTA is here

-> main dancer, vocalist -> Japanese Osaka's prince with a healing smile -> used to play soccer professionaly -> loves TVXQ and it was them who made him want to become an idol, check out his cover here -> in charge of the bad and the dominant, unless he smiles -> recently did a lovely colab for Tom Ford -> has his own radio show Yuta at Home with various guests!

-> the biggest WinWin enthusiast (actually shares this passion with Taeil) -> loves experimenting with styles, colours, accessories -> paints his nails, wears earrings regularly -> likes jrock, especially Hyde, L'Arc~en~Ciel -> shares pics of various behind the scenes on his Insta! -> loves drawing and reading, overall a very creative person (witness this here) -> has sensitive hearing and can be waken up easily, so Taeil has to be extra careful around him when he sleeps

That's... that's it! Phew! Hope it helps, hehe. I didn't want to get into the boring details like "he first debuted in blah blah", I felt like saying some interesting info about them instead :) Thank you for your ask, I had fun answering it, you are not bothering me at all ^^

[bisexualhobi]

wait I think I agree not today is really bad but now rank all their title tracks from best to worst pls

lmaoohdksjjdjf i love this question so much anon but due to the fact that i’m me this would get way WAY too long. so i’m doing the top 5 best title tracks and then top 5 worst ones okay? i’m looking at google and apparently they have 26 korean singles so yeah that’s too much.

to rank them as objectively as possible I'm gonna try to take into account gp impact (which is not the same as chart impact since the fandom inflates those numbers), production, creative value (how innovative/different from other pop songs was it?) and the concept of the music video/aesthetic in general. 

BTS TITLE TRACKS: TOP 5

5. Black Swan (2020)

am I cheating by putting here a pre release single? maybe. but it would be a disservice to leave this one out so bear with me

⭐gp impact: this song made more noise as a pre release single than the title track. I saw it in at least 3 end of the year editorials for best kpop songs of 2020. and the thing is it could have been WAY bigger but a lot of stuff happened that sadly made it go away too soon. I don't think this one is as famous or recognizable as the others in this list which is why it's going last, but also I think this song is the most underrated gem in bts discography so it's still going here.

⭐production: this song beat out the front runners (I need u, save me, DNA) solely because of its production. there are not a lot of kpop songs out there that manage to pull off what this song does. it's powerful, it's nostalgic, it's a dark and sexy song without being too on the nose. the mixing is SUPERB I remember the first time I heard it I thought "this would blow the fuck up if it was a Travis Scott song" and I will DIE on that hill. this is an example of heavy autotune on a song done right, not like the rest of their super autotuned songs that sometimes come out unrecognizable and empty sounding.

⭐creative value: it's not truly a new concept in pop to make a song about the Death of the Artist. it’s also not something a rookie group can do, this song needed to be released at exactly the time in bts’ career that it was. there’s just no emotional impact if you just sing about how the music makes your hear beat and you’ve been in the industry for,,, 3 years. this is the type of Swan Song you release at the peak of your career, so that really contributes to the message. mixing a trap beat with a ballet motif is GALAXY BRAIN SHIT.

⭐️concept: the ballet influence is just beautifully executed, this song is a beautiful piece of craftsmanship on all fronts. i think they could literally build an entire ALBUM off this concept, so the fact that they jampacked it onto one single song is both amazing and a little sad for me. i wanna hear more of this. i want a literal Black Swan (the darren aranofsky movie) horror concept where the protagonist falls prey to his own madness because he strives for perfection. but yeah, the song itself and the orchestral version just make this a complete golden concept in my book.

4. IDOL (2018).

⭐️gp impact: i think a lot of people that didn’t know anything about kpop vaguely knew about this song when it was released. i know i wasn’t into kpop at all but in my pop culture circle there was a small bleep from this song bc of the concept and the dance. i think it’s a great “embassador of kpop” track, like if you wanna explain to someone with no previous knowledge what kpop is about you can show them a performance of this song.

⭐️production: the production is a little all over the place for me. the instrumentals are amazing and really creative tho, but like in terms of mixing vocals and the structure of it, it might be a little too grating. it’s not the best produced song in ly: answer by any means but it still makes it work

⭐️creative value: the whole hanbok thing is a 10/10. bts weren’t the first ones to do it, but they did it in such a tightly executed way that honestly that “classic korean roots meets the edgy western feel” concept belongs to them now. groups are still recreating it. it’s a really innovative concept in general.

⭐️concept: the music video is,,,, something. you might love it or hate it, but it’s memorable. i think the purposeful way in which they made it as loud and brilliant as possible can be taken either as a camp adjacent or just as the group going nuts with the budget, which props to them. the choreography is also a BIG plus. the south african influence is really well executed and they made sure to do it as cultural appreciation and not appropriation. definitely the most memorable thing from this song is the choreo

3. Run (2015).

⭐️gp impact: this was their second song to have a music show win. it was the lead single from hyyh pt2 and honestly it might be the best song off hyyh as a whole. it cemented bts as not just another kpop group, because it made non fans turn their heads too! from what i gather this really propelled them forward and made the fanbase grow a lot.

⭐️production: hyyh pt2 is super well produced. i feel like this song in particular makes a fine job of mixing the vocals but it’s not outstanding. the best part is the instrumentals. but overall it’s a really good song with amazing lyrics and a great melody.

⭐️creative value: this built off of what they did with pt1 so they were already in a comfortable place, when they found this sound they really explored it well and deep and it works! i’m glad they went this emo pop route because it was a good contrast to what was dominating the charts in kpop in 2015.

⭐️concept: the aesthetic is PERFECT. there’s not a single other thing that i could add or that i wanted gone. it’s the perfect mix of coming of age teen film and heartfelt, dreamy pop. the music video is by no surprises the favorite mv of a lot of the fandom. the cinematography is beautiful and the song and the video perfectly capture that fleeting moment in life when you’re in the brink of adulthood.

2. Mic Drop (2017).

⭐️gp impact: this song was the first bts song to chart on the billboard hot100. back when the fandom had no idea how to chart, mass buy etc. that’s enough said. (personally i think mic drop is the quintessential bts song and their best release so the fact that i’m not putting it first should count as something).

⭐️production: for the purposes of this ranking i’m using the original mic drop and not the steve aoki remix even tho it was the steve remix that was released as the single. the song has the BEST mastering i’ve heard in kpop. the transitions are flawless, the beat is pure fire, the entire first minute is literally the hardest hype rap i’ve heard in kpop. everything about it WORKS.

⭐️creative value: it’s kinda funny how this song got released the same year as kendrick lamar’s humble, because imho it’s the best hiphop song of that year after humble. 2017 was truly the year of the diss tracks. bonus points for including it right after the billboard acceptance speech skit in ly: answer. SUPER refreshing among the ed sheeran type of pop that dominated that year.

⭐️concept: it’s a great concept but not innovative by any means. still, it works and bts managed to exploit it to the max. the choreo, the mv, the styling, everything was amazing!

1. Blood, Sweat & Tears (2016).

⭐️gp impact: it's probably the first song to put bts on the map beyond the kpop sphere. it really set the tone for their 2017. it's one of their most famous and recognizable songs to date.

⭐️production: this song is STUNNINGLY arranged. the mix, the ambience, the progression,,, it's all brought together to make a very well crafted song. it has a distinctive electronic/pop sound to it that still manages to set itself apart from the trend that was going at the time. black swan is probably the closet single they have to this in terms of production.

⭐️creative value: the song itself is very in compliance with the 2015/2016 trend of hype songs with edm influence, (ie. closer, shape of you, cheap thrills, let me love you, something just like this, etc.) but it still packs that punch that makes it sound fresh even for 2021.

⭐️concept: it wasn't the first song to sound like this in kpop ofc but it was the first truly sexy concept for bts. the aesthetic is innovative and very well thought out, the mv is amazing and the choreography too. i read somewhere that j-hope had a lot of input for this choreo so that's amazing. also blond taehyung is literally the best thing to come out of big hit.

WORST BTS TITLE TRACKS

ok so here we go with the worst ones! this is in ascending order as i prepare myself to pick the worst of them all, but please remember this isn’t meant to be mean spirited, i am simply applying the same criteria to their most underwhelming songs but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own merit! it’s just that out of 26 singles, SOME of them have got to come out at the bottom right?

5. Life Goes On (2020)

⭐gp impact: this song is not memorable with the general public, its #1 on the bb was the product of mass buying and even though it's a feel good song made to comfort fans in the times of pandemic it's still bland and boring. I think it had no music show appearances either, and as far as bts ballads go this is just bottom tier. it’s not that it’s terrible, it’s just very underwhelming 

⭐production: the autotune in this song is very poorly executed, it doesn't add to the song the way black swan does for example. it's just off putting and the melody is really forgettable. it's funny bc the chorus is directly pulled from the 2018 reggaeton super hit "La Canción" by J Balvin and Bad bunny lmaooo 💀 so I can't get that out of my head either. the structure is just fine and has nothing of substance 

⭐creative value: the song is attempts to be a heartfelt acoustic song but it really has nothing that sets it apart from other songs product of the pandemic like Justin and ariana's stuck with u. for a song in a self produced album it's the song with the least input from the group. the lyrics are good, but they're not as sincere or groundbreaking as for example Spring day. 

⭐concept: as a ballad ofc I'm not expecting it to have a grand choreography, and the mv being filmed in their personal dorms to reflect the lockdown is actually a nice touch but besides that there is nothing exciting, innovative or even sincerely comforting about the song and the concept. the greatest thing abt it is the fact that jk directed the video, which is actually pretty good.

4. We are bulletproof pt 2 (2013)

⭐gp impact: this song made no noise back in the day and to this day its just beloved by the fandom due to a sense of nostalgia and "remembering bts' roots". don't get me wrong it's amazing that bts still perform it in the year of our lord 2020 because you can't forget where you came from, but it's not a good or memorable song by any means. 

⭐production: I went back to listen to it for this and oh god. I can't remember the mixing being THIS bad. jimin, jin and taehyung sound exceptionally bad, they don't sound like themselves especially jin. it's just a really poorly mastered song, but then again the rest of their debut album isn't far better. 

⭐creative value: this is straight up ripping off early 2000s black culture from the US. not only the music, the styling for this era in general is unfortunately really bad and culturally appropriating and overall it's a mess. 

⭐concept: there is nothing of substance to be said about this song. it's just really a miss. the mv is terrible, the only thing that can be salvaged from this is the choreography, but besides that the whole thing feels sloppy, rushed and is also kinda cringey.

3. N.O. (2013)

⭐gp impact: no noise. this song was just a really weird pick for their first comeback when attack on bangtan or coffee was right there. not to be mean but no wonder they didn't have a music win this year. 

⭐production: it's an objectively bad song. it's just really underwhelming, the whole mixing feels amateur. it's not a good hiphop song and it's not a good vocal arrangement and the chorus is also a rip off of a late 90s American song I can't find right now 

⭐creative value: this song isn't innovative in any way, it's just..... there. very meh in general, I have nothing more to say about it 

⭐concept: the storyline kinda wants to go somewhere with the music video but it doesn't manage to make a connection. the styling is plain, simple and not flattering at all. it tries to make a protest of the Korean school system but it doesn't say anything beyond "school bad" which we already knew

2. Not Today (2017)

⭐gp impact: its a very middle of the list song for a lot of the fandom. I literally know of no one that claims this as their favorite mv/era/song. when you ask people about their least favorite bts songs they won't mention this one either, you know why? because it's that irrelevant. it had no music show wins either. it's precisely because of this why I put it so high up on the list. there's nothing worse than an unmemorable song, if it was widely hated then at least that would be a response. 

⭐production: it's a really mediocre song in terms of structure and melody. it tried to be hype but it falls short. the chorus feels half finished and the message of the song is just “the revolution has begun”? which okay? but it adds nothing to the You never walk alone album either.

⭐creative value: there is nothing exciting about this song, and the chorus is too grating. the rhythm is repetitive and nothing new either in kpop or pop in general. 

⭐concept: sadly there's not a lot to be said for the song. it says nothing of value and what it says falls flat. there's no innovation. you can actually see a lot of idol in this song, and also ON. those two songs are what this one tried to be but failed.

1. War of Hormone (2014)

⭐gp impact: thankfully none. this song got the treatment it deserved, if they had won a music show for this one it would feel tainted lol. now it's just a meme in the fandom but overall it made zero noise and contributed nothing to bts' evolution 

⭐production: the production is very lazy, which is odd because dark & wild has some pretty tight tracks. but this one is just meh, nothing outstanding and the melody is just annoying 

⭐creative value: this is a song that was probably born out of the desperation to have a gp friendly hit. it tries really hard to replicate an outdated idea of what boy bands should be, and it does it badly. simply put this song is very mediocre and misogynistic and the fact that it's a running gag in the fandom that "feminism isn't important when war of hormone comes on" isn't funny and it's actually cringe. please stop 

⭐concept: the styling is so ugly :( the mv is very low budget which isn't surprising but they managed to make more with less in past releases. it's just embarrassing and I wish this song didn't exist, there's a reason why they never play it anymore lol. overall a dark mistake in bts' career

[felixnation]

THE TOP 10 WORST KPOP SONGS OF 2020

(WARNING: I DON’T LIKE THESE SONGS AND WILL BE MEAN AT THEM. I DO NOT HAVE ANY PERSONAL BEEF WITH ANY OF THESE GROUPS OR ARTISTS SO DON’T COME FOR ME IF YOUR FAVE MADE A STINKER TRACK THIS YEAR.)

Ah, 2020. The year where disco came back, the 80s came back, and everyone was titling their songs after nonsense words. It was a good year for k-pop overall, with a lot of new trends entering the game towards the end of summer. However, there were some real clunkers that refused to get out of my head this quarantine and pissed me off to varying degrees each time I heard them. This list is an attempt to chronicle all of those.

So without further ado, let’s get this shit done.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

NCT 127 - PUNCH This isn't actually a bad song, hence it only making it to the honorable mentions section. In fact, I think this could've easily made the best list had it not been for one thing, and that's the presence of NCT 127, namely their rap line. The instrumental on this thing is absolutely killer and one of the best productions to come out of SM in a long time. The entire thing is bizarrely structured and incredibly gutsy, and therefore I think it's a travesty that an instrumental this incredible was drowned in ASMR-esque whispers and EYYYY WE BALLINs. There are a few salvageable sections, namely the first post-chorus, and we see glimmers of NCT 127's true potential, should they choose to explore this sound further.

CIGNATURE - NUN NU NAN NA Similar to Punch, I admire the production choices here - there are a few sections that blast you with 100gecs-esque womps, and that's always something I enjoy. The vast majority of the song rarely dips below decent territory, but since the entire thing hinges on the titular hook, it ends up falling apart right when it needs to bring the hype the most. I mean, building a hook around those notes was...an interesting choice, I guess. It reminds me a lot of fromis_9's FUN!, which also constructed the entire song around a terrible set of notes. Listen to them yell that hook at you and tell me it doesn't sound off. Most frustrating song of 2020.

ONG SEONG WU - GRAVITY Have you ever heard a drop this weak? I sure haven't. I hate the way he says DIVING INTO YOUR LOVE, the over-enunciation kills me and there's one syllable too many. Also, thanks Ong Seong Wu for giving CRAVITY the promo they deserve.

BTS - FLY TO MY ROOM I can't relax while listening to this, the beat is so sparse and has this nauseous sway to it that really makes me feel like I'm reliving these past 9 months of quarantine all over again. And just like quarantine, it really feels like this goddamn thing never ends. That final set of choruses is really a chore to get through, and I'm not the only one who thinks so - shout out to Taehyung for serving taste and I'm sorry Jimin convinced you to sing out of your natural range yet again.

TREASURE - MMM Ew.

I*ZONE - FIESTA It's a pretty standard girl group song up until that chorus hits and oh my god, who on earth produced this? Are they actively trying to trigger my psychosis? There are so many sounds happening that it feels like three or four demo tracks laid on top of each other, it makes me confused even trying to figure out what's going on here. And that post-chorus drop is horrendous, it's like the instrumental is literally screaming into my ear STREAM BLOOM*IZ!!! STREAM BLOOM*IZ YOU DUMB CUCK!!! YOU LOVE IT!!!

NOW FOR THE REAL LIST.

#10: TAEYEON - HAPPY

I do not like this. Taeyeon has one of the most powerful voices in the industry and instead of putting it to good use, she decided to put out the musical equivalent of eating a stick of butter. Bland, horrible texture, seems to go on forever and ever, you know you shouldn't be consuming it and you don't know why you're doing this to yourself, etc.

The MV contributed to my dislike, with Taeyeon whitewashed all the way into uncanny valley as she lounges around her beautiful apartment. Well of course you'd be happy if you lived in a place like that, I know I would. The sad thing is that there's some really nice vocal work here and there, but for the majority of the song, Taeyeon decides to serenade us in the most nasal tone that she can muster. I know she can sing better than this, and I'm disappointed in her for creating this and unleashing it on the world.

#9: WEKI MEKI - OOPSY

Whereas Picky Picky was annoying in the best way possible, Oopsy is annoying in the worst way possible. The instrumental legitimately sounds cheap, the drums sound so tinny and artificial that it's hard on the ears. Not to mention the hook, wherein the girls force their voices as high as they can go as they proclaim OOPSY! 

I'm a huge fan of cute concepts, but when it comes to putting out a high-energy sugary track like this, you're walking a fine line between adorable and irritating. Weki Meki didn't even try to walk the line, they just dove headfirst into irritating territory without a care in the world. It literally feels like the audio equivalent of having to hold a whiny toddler and then it pisses itself and the mom is just cooing about how her little darling made an oopsy.

#8: VICTON - MAYDAY

It feels like for most of the year, the vast majority of boy groups were stuck in a rut, knee-deep in sludgy EDM and leather harnesses. You know the songs I'm talking about, and I could've put any one of them here, but I chose this one purely because that chorus makes me feel like I have a concussion. I don't like this song nor the trend it's representative of - I spent most of quarantine having the same dark BG concepts thrown at me over and over and I'm glad things are starting to take a bit of a turn.

The bridge on this is actually pretty great, and the guys in VICTON do know how to sing, as can be seen in the final post-chorus. But man, there's just nothing fresh being brought to the table here, just the same stale trends in their worst form yet. The hook is so slow and drowsy, the same few notes just repeated over and over. I have not seen the MV because I feel like I can picture it well enough in my head just by listening. Are there harnesses? Don't forget those, boys.

#7: MCND - SPRING

Only Pentagon are allowed to do these concepts.

#6: HYO, LOOPY, SOYEON - DESSERT

This is genuinely unlistenable as soon as the drop hits, with a vocal stitching job that might be a horn synth, I'm not sure. That's how annoying it is. The producer is clearly incompetent and the performers are oozing with personality, though not the pleasant sort. The hook is  bratty and the raps here are beyond generic. After the halfway point, there are a couple interesting sounds thrown into the mix, but it's not enough to save things.   

Soyeon in particular sounds awful here, with her iconic nasally tone morphing into something genuinely irritating and borderline spiteful. Age up the toddler from the Oopsy comparison to around 7 or 8 and that's basically what you've got here. All I can hope is that this song is not influential in any way, shape or form, because I just had a vision of Blackpink imitating this production style and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

#5: SECRET NUMBER - WHO DIS?

I'm not sure how many Secret Number fans are out there, but I'm about to make all of em real mad at me right about now. However, it must be said.

This is basically Your Turn by Kaachi again.

I don't think I need to explain that hot take, just listen to the song. It's surprisingly amateurish, to the point where I feel like the vocals aren't in sync and they just used the first take they got from each girl. The raps in particular are awful, and I swear they even sound like they go off-key a couple of times. How this blew up in any aspect is bizarre to me. Anyways, stream Photo Magic and stan Kaachi.

#4: BAEKHYUN - CANDY

Did you want a k-pop version of Yummy by Justin Bieber? No? Well, Baekhyun decided to make it anyways! At least Yummy was sort of funny in how bad it is, this is just...a somber affair. Inexplicably, he manages to oversing the final third of the song, which I don't get the point of, but okay. Lazy, underproduced and overproduced at the same time, bland, boring, annoying...

Wait, did he just say...

Okay, I changed my mind, this is hysterical. Like Pop rocks, strawberry, bubble gum...

#3: (G)-IDLE - DUMDI DUMDI

I'm so sick of this group's 'ethnic' schtick, it's like they never learn. They just don't give a fuck - after a string of genuinely great tracks like Hann, Lion, and Oh My God, they just decide to put out this shit and expect me to listen to it? They're a group with a lot of potential, with some brilliant vocalists and the talent that is Soyeon (who really loves being on this list, apparently) but if they continue down the path of using different cultures as concepts I can't support them any further.

The song itself has salvageable parts, a recurring theme on this list, but the over-the-top tribal influences are so obvious and tropey that even listening to it feels gross. (G)-Idle have more creative control than most groups, and the fact that they're capable of creating works of art like Lion is what makes me harsh on them. Instead of moving forward, they continue to regress into their comfort zone of cultural appropriation.

#2 YOOA - BON VOYAGE

Speaking of cultural appropriation...are we gonna address this? Nah? Okay.

Oh My Girl, YooA's parent group, has a history of blatant cultural appropriation (and arguably some legit racist moments depending on how you look at it) and they seem like they're not changing anytime soon. That's why this particular song stings even more than it probably should. If you thought Dumdi Dumdi's tribal influences were a little too on the nose, take a listen to this chorus.

YooA has a bad voice, is wearing tribal face paint, and is running around the wilderness whitewashed into oblivion while a choir of nameless voices chant vaguely tribal things behind her. Even in an industry like k-pop, this sticks out as something in bafflingly poor taste, and I can't see how she got away with this in 2020.

#1 BLACKPINK & SELENA GOMEZ - ICE CREAM

Well, this is a predictable pick. 

I don't know why or how Blackpink thought they could get away with drip-feeding blinks content for 4 goddamn years in the lead-up to their first album, only to drop this big fat clunker on them. I honestly felt insulted by the song, from its cheap, tinny production to the god-awful lyrics. I don't know how anyone could find any value in a piece of music this soulless and hollow.

Lisa's raps are by far the worst part of it, with FIRE BARS such as "you're the one been chosen, play the part like moses" and "mona lisa kinda lisa". Unfortunately, these raps take up a good portion of the song, and there's nothing going on in the instrumental to distract you from them, save for that little ice cream truck jingle. (or at least I think that's what the producer was going for)

Selena is a non-presence and essentially blends in with the girls, who WAIL that awful hook like their lives depend on it. Also, there's some really cheesy innuendos here that're sung with all the sex appeal of the actual ice cream truck driver from literally your neighborhood. 

I loathe what this song represents - the only good thing about it is that the girls look stunning in the MV. And that's exactly the thing - this song represents the exact moment in time wherein Blackpink admitted to their audience that music is no longer their main focus. This is the peak of their influencer-ization, and only time will tell if they'll redeem themselves. (Spoiler: They sort of did, goddammit.)

[tetsuroutxt]

haikyuu characters + kpop

basically, which haikyuu characters would listen to kpop and and what would they enjoy realistically?

as the kpop industry is kinda saturated with idols, obv i couldnt include every group/artist. also its important to note that kpop would be a really niche interest unless they’re a trending group (eg. twice), regularly promoting in japan (ie. bts, apink, ikon, shinee), have established themselves because of hallyu (eg. dbsk, suju, big bang, snsd). if a artist/group met any or more of those conditions, the more i took them into consideration for this. 

I also took into consideration characters who are more likely to enjoy browsing the internet. those who put in a good amount of effort to look for music are very much more likely to come across it!

bokuto koutarou: only aware of kpop songs that go viral. often the very high-energy & catchy songs.

really really loves bts:  DOPE / war of hormone (HELLO HELLO)

he just really loves their intense choreography & how energetic their music is

just imagine him finding dope for the first time.

always attempts to learn the choreography, maybe just parts of it that he thought was the coolest

favourite korean songs thats not bts:

call me baby (he LOVES every single part of this song..)

RHYTHM TA the dance is simple & the song is his style

sugawara koushi: generally an open-minded individual... has the ability to appreciate many kinds of music

likes surfing through various mvs on youtube when he's bored, so he’s prob seen like most of ur favs, and surprisingly keeps tabs on the ones he likes.

likes shinee’s releases because enjoys the harmony of all their voices blending, very smooth and light. 

replay / your number / dont let me go

also likes charting/trending korean songs that aren't necessarily idol/kpop based like this

good vocals and songs with warm tones are a must 

azumane asahi, yamaguchi tadashi, yachi hitoka: the three of them enjoy cute & soft music

yamaguchi & yachi are both huge huge fans of iu. they love you & i, as well as good day!

peach is another strong favourite!

asahi loves how sweet kissing you sounds. he also likes nonono because the lyrics (its there in the vid!) are always super encouraging and comforting.

while they like mainstream songs, its not far-fetched to imagine them surfing the internet, due to their introverted natures, and uncovering sweet sounding korean indie music like rainy day and how do you think. yachi and yamaguchi like to share songs with each other since they trust each other’s taste.

tsukishima kei, akaashi keiji, ennoshita chikara: anything that’s layered and made with artistry. 

akaashi was almost a kpop anti (hates rhythm ta so fucking much lol) but then he found this and thought otherwise

just once you hit that part of youtube, the same type of music fills the entire sidebar. its a whole new world of music which is exactly what tsukki, akaashi, and ennoshita are after.

part of ennoshita's fascination of this music is the cinematography also he likes being unique for the music vids. its undeniable how high quality kpop music videos are... the camera-work, the selection of sets and props & lighting to create certain moods such as across the universe

tsukki is just an avid listener of music and enjoys being informed and up to date on all kinds of music. very attracted to tracks that are very well produced and well crafted such as bawling

akaashi is naturally thorough and doesnt like to settle for music readily available around him, he truly loves the meeting new sounds and styles, especially anything thats a clever/creative hybrid of genres such as neon bunny’s romance in seoul (jazz + electro) 

oikawa tooru: open-minded, but mostly he loves anything feel-good and cute.

enjoys often very catchy and upbeat hits:

cheer up - twice /  very nice - seventeen / party - snsd 

usually a pleasant hummer and has a nice soft voice when singing. knows how to be obnoxious though

he cant help it because the songs are so FUN iwa-chan, 

also songs that make him feel nostalgic and longing, especially if the vocalist is good at conveying emotion

like taeyeon’s rain ... also loves why though. dbsk’s why did i fall in love with you?

though updated with some trends (twice, seventeen), only truly familiar with older generation of idols.

hanamaki & mattsun: always looking for entertainment, yall know how they’re like lmfao.

they know kpop thanks to oikawa who showed them cheer up... found it cute and rly love dancing to the “sha sha sha” and chorus.

both curious, they did their own research and exploring and came out with their own likes and dislikes.

prefer sexier/non-cute groups: mini skirt -aoa

also ring ding dong (started liking it ironically to piss off hajime but now finds genuine enjoyment in it. they know the chorus dance)

it g ma because kohh features (they were shook) but also because of its meme factor. listen to it please oh my god [TW: lots of BRIGHT flashes in that mv..] the squawking and yelling annoys hajime so much wtf which may or may not contribute to why they both like this song so much. oikawa doesnt like it either ("its so ugly!")

generally prefers k-hip hop scene over kpop 

sunshine - verbal jint feat chancelor / jet lag - paloalto

kuroo & yaku: idol fanboys confirmed (see ch 200.)

as confirmed in ch 200. they are both huge fans of perfume, an electropop girl band, even to the point where they are familiar with the names of the members

thus i think its fair to say out of all the hq characters, its these two who are most likely to get to know their idol groups & not just be passive listeners.

upbeat, quirky electronic groups... the nu abo album by f(x) basically embodies this...

kuroo didnt care about kpop until he decided to give super junior’s hero album a listen during the time it was just released and very hot and popular on the charts. unexpectedly really loved the tracks & shared with yaku and kai. kai likes it too but isnt into idol stuff (more into rock) as much as yaku and kuroo. this was gateway into kpop for them. they’re mostly familiar with idols from sm ent.

iwaizumi hajime:

kpop anti

with oikawa being relentless singing the same repetitive hook choruses over & over ("cheer up baby! cheer up baby!" "gee gee gee gee baby baby~") & hanamatsu joining in because they’re hanamatsu

he hates it 

like A Lot

(needs better company)

(would probably like baby baby & winner's rock influenced music tbh)

give him time