#like be real right now. i feel like 90% of these people are in denial about having eating disorders

[h0ney8ee]

weight and food stuff in tags

[rosemariad]

SUPERNATURAL SEASON 15 - final season - bitter end part 2

See p1 here | https://www.tumblr.com/rosemariad/761290454081929216/supernatural-season-15-final-season-part-1-i

OH MY LORD – FINALLY – a FUCKING APOLOGY, from Dean. Winchester.

And it happened in purgaytory 😉 lol. Moment of silence for dead Benny :/

I wish we could've gotten a shot of Cas listening to him. We've always seen Dean pray to Cas but we never see Cas hear them on his end, like when Jack was hearing Sam's prayer. I think that would've been dope as fuck to see Castiel's reaction. When Cas & Dean finally do catch up to one another, Cas seems so...reserved. I feel like He knew DAMN well (like 90%) what Dean might say (or maybe he's so in denial about the possibility that Dean could return his affections in that way)

How are we almost halfway to the end and this is the first time we’ve seen Jack at all during this FINAL season? You introduce him in episode 12.23, you kill him (twice) and we don’t even get to see how he’s doing? We know he’s in the empty from 14x20’s closing montage.

15x10 was a pretty decent episode since we got to see Garth again ☺️ & he's settled into the domestic life with his wife Bessie - they had twins and a older daughter & neither child is named after Dean (🤣 Serves him right these days, since he's being such a douche!) wonder why Garth chose to name his baby after Cas though…did they ever interact? I don't recall…Watching Sam meet baby Sam is precious

(also how wild is it that the Garth & Benny actors are a married couple now? SPN man, they should've had a dating show given how many relationships came outta 1 production that lasted 15 yrs!)

Watching Sam sniff and cough & sneeze post-COVID is wild!

Taking on that giant monster was Hilarious - this was what SPN was missing - definitely peak content! Look at those hunter guys get reduced to regular chumps 🤣 fantastic!

Was Dean scared of the dentist? Had he ever BEEN to a dentist? Wow John, you couldn't take your son to a damn dentist - with all the junk food that boy eats? Even so, you want him running around without teeth?

Watching Sam writhe around with some cure all Bessie learned from her dad (he's dead I guess?) was equally hilarious!

WTF was with Dean's hallucination? These writers are trippin - out of all the things you could've done, you make Dean & Garth tap dance? What was the point? And some oldies shit? Sure Dean would've been exposed to reruns of the good ol' days but that’s never really been his interest before? And the lamp at the end? TF? I've read some posts about what others thinking it all means but I say the artistic direction is wack. But all aside the dentist Garth bit is awesome!

Garth couldn't have said it better - being the hero/protagonist is a drag - more so for comic book heroes cuz of the tragic backstory but in the Winchesters' case - it suuuuuuuuuucks.

I'm all for some Winchester humble pie. SPN should be normal people problems show mixed with cooky supernatural shenanigans. It would never get old 😂

Dean why did you think you could gobble down 7 grilled cheese sandwiches - all that dairy - oh man. So I guess that's normal for him…bad, real bad. Normal Dean would be dead in a week 🤣🤣

Anyway Garth swooping in to save the day for a change, is a welcome change ☺️ [is this the last time we'll see him in the show though? 😥]

Interesting how they seem to keep switching back & forth between how hopeless the odds are in going against the big G.O.D. to no we're gonna find a way cuz we're the Winchesters & that’s what we do. Yeah okay 🤣

Jack's been hunting & eating Grigori hearts - damn. Not looking forward to why…

Meanwhile we get more backstory on all the other gods in human history through Fortuna, goddess of luck/fortune? Interesting, it seems like God allowed others to be worshipped so they could suffer the bad PR when things when wrong for people & they would get the blame (pretty sure plenty people still blame God for bad stuff all the time — like Dean 😅).

Good for Sam fighting for those people stuck under Fortuna's thumb. Small victories though…

Kaia survived, but I know we'll never see her again now. No reunion w/ Claire, or the others…wah 😔 meanwhile Alt!Kaia is definitely dead, we saw her face her end - way to take out that plot device writers 🙄

Dean seems pretty gung-ho on taking out God & Amara - buddy I know you feel helpless but there is no cosmic entity that is gonna be on your side all the time. The control freak inside him is going rabid y'all he's convinced that it’s the only way out but neglects to answer the question - if God (and Amara - cold by the way - is he punishing her for Mary? Amara was the one who brought her back in the first place) is taken out, what happens to the universe?

Jack is still giving me those intern vibes - Cas WTF were you thinking? I know you didn't forget about that deal…but damn if he ain't a team player, always willing to risk it all to help his precious Dean bean & the baby bro Sam.

I love how the brothers took Jo/Anael at her word - like really? There was no other way to investigate the veracity of her story than by simply going to hell? Really? Also they couldn't squeeze in Rowena for 1 final appearance? Boo!

And what was Anael's last line about? What friends could she possibly be talking about? Did God have her set this up? Lead the guys on a wild goose chase to waste time? Who fucking knows anymore, but I guess it doesn't matter as this is technically Anael (& Ruby's) final scene in the show.

Ruby you're screwed - there's no way she got out and no way to know - anyway onto the plot!

Look at this family shot - precious!

So between this episode & 12x07 Sam's superpower is handling doors - keeps them open when he needs to & closed when he has to. Sam, keeper of the doors!

The Empty & Death Billie teamed up? Oh shit, that's gonna backfire fast!

Classic Dean Winchester move to call your beloved an idiot when you almost lost him….again. I can't keep track of the various close calls this angel had over the years.

Best gem of 15x13 - the Alternate Sam & Dean - affluent dudes who were raised by a successful business savvy John Winchester who raised his sons with a modicum of respect & some fashion sense it seems all the while building a supernatural hunting empire spanning the entire globe (damn). And at the end they went to Brazil? So canonically there's 2 sets of Sams & Deans running around - too bad nothing else will come out of that…they should've stolen the Impala - that shit would've been hilarious.

After all these years we finally got to see THE Garden of Eden. It would've been cool to see it sooner in the show but oh well. The trip seems to have given Jack the ability to feel again, get his soul back. And he is wracked with guilt over Mary as if we didn’t have enough of that to deal with…

The words you're looking for guys is I FORGIVE YOU! Like he's a kid, it was an accident & he's clearly fucking sorry for it, the guilt is tearing him apart, you're not blind you can see it but God forbid either Winchester just says the magic words.

Now Mrs. Butters - I'm not cool with that shit at all. I peeped immediately based on the 1st scene that she wasn't there willingly. Why would she? She's a fucking wood nymph and while there's a bunch of trees outside, the bunker sure as shit ain't no forest. Someone forced her to work in that bunker & the fact that imagery of Cuthbert Sinclair keeps coming up confirms it.

She was probably their slave - that's so fucked. And Sinclair tortured her into obedience. That poor creature…she deserved so much better. shame on Sam & Dean for using that poor woman - you can't find the time to cook & clean up after yourselves? - I know Dean is good at it. But no, SPN had to set women back decades and force Mrs. Butters into waiting on them hand and foot. Shame, damn shame. Thankfully they eventually let her go, but only cuz Jack's life was in jeopardy and god forbid the Winchesters lose their handy ace in the hole when their maid/slave gets murderous. Really Dean, ‘just start over’?!, she threatened your kid you dumbass, do you really want someone to take care of you that fucking bad? WTF?!?!

All those feasts & Cas never showed up once -- bullshit!!!! Bullshit I say!

Apparently when Cas does eventually return to the screen & wraps up some trouble w/ Jack (aww he wanted to wear matching ties! And he has a teddy bear? Did Cas give him one? He gave one to Claire a couple of seasons ago) jack spills that he's meant to die & sacrifice himself to take out God & Amara. I know you're not on board Cas but speak up. Why is everyone so afraid to stand up to Dean Jesus Christ. He's just a man, sure he'll punch you but that just means you hit back or you know, don't let him punch you!

We get 1 final glimpse into Sam & Dean's childhood. Pro tip Dean: if you want your baby bro to stick around, don't ridicule his goals or call him stupid. Just a thought (I know he's a kid himself but that's what I would've said to the kid) but hey ultimately none of it matters right, jeez 😒

The lady lied to the brothers to get them to show up, did you ever think to incentivize them with money? It wouldn't take much, they probably wouldn't even take it or you know just tell them the truth, they're hunters it's what they do.

It's the baba yaga? It almost got to Dean but thankfully Sam was conveniently there to break the spell or whatever was gonna try to make Dean kill himself. The vic, Travis, apparently had the entity's ring all this time so it's back for revenge? And to eat ofc it's hungry. Too bad she failed cuz she's dead as one of the final MOTW ever on SPN. And just when we thought Dean made progress he ruins it by being supremely committed to Billie's plan -- cuz God forbid Sam bring up ethical questions into plotting someone's murder Dean, even if it is about cosmic entities and you know, your kid, Jack. Will the real Dean Winchester stand up cuz I think he wouldn't do this under any other circumstances. If I were Sam I would've jumped out of that car in pure disgust. Sam seemed inclined to do that.

Anyway the Jack suicide bomb plan ultimately didn't matter either cuz Amara ends up siding w/ Chuck after he makes her see that Dean was actually planning on killing her along w/ her brother.

Side bar - I love how she just had a whole season's long vacation just enjoying what the planet had to offer before her end. Can't say she didn't try to work things out - with the Winchesters or God. But hey, I know what's up - it's all about the men in this show 🙄

Saying Jack's not family - how fucking dare you! but also another example of inconsistent behavior from Dean - 1 minute he's concerned, the next he's dismissive & neglectful, then the next he cares (emotional whiplash), then he sees Jack as nothing more than a loose-end for fuck's sake Dean pick a lane & make up your damn mind, fuck!

Anyways, Sam should've smacked the shit outta Dean. He deserves it. But I get it Dean, you can't live w/o Sam or Cas but watching Jack die is no big since he took your mommy away, whatever asshole. Then he feels bad, but I feel it's only cuz he can't sit pretty on his high horse knowing the kid heard how little Dean cares for him right now.

Why did Sam & Cas let Jack run off w/ Dean? I sure wouldn't have 😡.

So because Billie's plan went tits up (big surprise there & really Billie you were expecting them not to fuck up, really?) God escaped & in the next, infamous episode of 15x18 people start getting Thanos'd. Endgamed. Disappeared.

Alt!Charlie & her girlfriend Stevie - gone. Eileen, Sam's current GF, gone. Alt!Bobby, gone. The other folks from Apocalypse World - gone.

But Donna gets got too - because Sam & Dean intervened all the way back in her premiere episode (was that season 8? I forget). Did everyone just get disappeared - like everyone Sam, Dean & John saved (that's my headcanon anyhow)? But it doesn’t even stop there…

Hold up - wait a minute - I’m gonna talk about the Destiel moment in 15x18 but I’m gonna save it for a separate post cuz I got to get all that stuff off my chest…https://www.tumblr.com/rosemariad/761296693532803072/the-bitter-end-spn-15x18-despair-about-that

Anywho:

Everyone gets disappeared. I see they were inspired by that Avengers movie 😅 I wonder if they went through the same experience the Marvel folk did canonically…(its that no one remembers what happened to them if they got blipped right?)

15x19 felt so rushed to me did anyone else feel that way?

Jack asks what happened to Cas (RIP you beautiful angel 😭) but Dean just offers a simple explanation. After countless days of misery and drinking, Jack prompts the brothers to drive around and Dean finds a dog only to have it disappear like everyone else - there's no way Chuck missed the dog, he just wanted Dean to bond with her so he could feel her loss too. Damn. So vengeful.

The Winchesters say they surrender but at this point I wouldn't believe them and apparently it was all part of their master plan. They ran into Michael (who's lost Adam at this point RIP Adam, again) and Dean calls Michael out as a daddy's boy but you would know wouldn't you Dean 🤣 game recognize game

When Dean got that phone call & ran up those steps, oh Dean you poor miserable bastard.

The devil, conveniently back from the void from whence he came, scrounges up a reaper - why are there reapers at this point (isn’t everyone gone anyways?) was she brought from the Empty? Kill her so she can be Death # 3 and open up the mysterious book that describes God's imminent demise but the devil killed her one more time before she could finish cuz he's God's favorite now (so he says Chuck says 🙄) pissing off Michael but as the brothers explained later this would all work in their favor but RIP Jessica - last female figure to be killed off on SPN? She basically died for nothing as Sam & dean came up w/ a new plan.

While the archangels squab, Michael gets the upper hand and finally kills Lucifer (so how was this fight going to devastate the planet cuz the bunker didn't even get messed up or nothing - very underwhelming since this is technically the last we’ll see of the devil in the show) & later Michael snitches to God when everyone drives out to summon Chuck to try killing him off once and for all. Then Michael dies cuz God is tired of him I guess (sure he said it’s cuz Michael dique betrayed him but I mean do you even care about that?) sucks for Mike I guess 🤷🏽‍♀️

All the celestial fighting was apparently powering up Jack after he juiced himself up for that bomb & couldn't kill off God sooner. by the end of the episode Jack siphons the remaining energy out of Chuck and instead of squashing him like a bug they all just decide to walk away, leaving Chuck Shurley a mortal, ordinary man to die off on his own (omg the way he squealed as he ditched him, geez 🤦🏾‍♀️).

This is why you should've just destroyed them Chuck! You'd think he'd know better than to savor their doom. Tsk tsk.

I would've shot him, burned him and had Jack disintegrate the ashes to nothing. But fuck being thorough I guess 🤣

Jack brings everyone back & leaves the brothers (I would've done the same, fuck those Winchesters, Sam's alright but Dean is just ugh at this point) & Aside from Rowena I can't think of anyone else who ends up with a win like Jack. He was born the Nephilim of Lucifer but ended up becoming a noble God.

I also gotta vent about that last episode - https://www.tumblr.com/rosemariad/761299089485889536/supernatural-season-15-the-bitter-end-series

[starryjkoo]

some random chronically online fandom and shipping thoughts #1

I just feel like ARMYs who are very obviously Y/N’s have NO reason to be judging shippers. I think it’s funny how some of them are so genuinely defensive and put off by shipping in a way I can tell is personal lol (it’s giving jealousy!). I totally understand people not liking shipping/shippers but I’ll never accept judgement from a Y/N, sorry! If you’re posting about only ONE member in a really thirsty manner after every AYS trailer and then turning around and saying “ugh, jkkrs are so annoying and delusional, jikook are brothers!” I know what you are! 🫵

slurping up all these AYS teasers like a starving animal but I’m starting to feel like they’re showing us too much now 😩 don’t spoil all the cute parts please BH!

only extremely sad and chronically online losers think that mass liking hate tweets actually means anything in the real world. a lot of these people need to get a life and go touch grass because the obsession with jm is truly weird and sad.

not everyone who wants th to appear in AYS is a tkkr, because it’s normal for ARMYs to want to see as many members as possible, but it’s kind of obvious with the ones who bring it up every chance they get lol, or the first thing they look for in a new AYS teaser, or just the specific way they talk about it. and my god are there a lot of tkkr ARMYs

I’m self aware that I’m pretty heavily biased, but there’s nothing worse than the ARMYs who hide under the OT7 visage but are CLEARLY heavily biased themselves. I simply do not like hypocrites, maybe some of them are in denial about it, idk. ofc there’s nothing worse than the ones who cosplay and try to create havoc in ARMY spaces, but that’s an entirely different thing. with that said, i’m convinced that at least 90% of active ARMYs are heavily biased at this point and we’d all be better off if they could simply just admit it.

perhaps this is my own bias so feel free to disagree, but imo ARMYs very clearly have a different sort of energy for jm antis and I think its partially because his hate has been so damn normalized in this fandom after years of tkkrs, but also because clearly a vast majority of the ARMY sh*oter accounts are diet solos and tkkrs and they always put an extra amount of scrutiny on things related to jm. they're also the first to bring shipper/solo drama into ARMY spaces (but only when it impacts their ship/bias) and they’re very clearly obviously lurking in solo/shipper territory to find it the way they do. the silence right now from certain accounts really does speak volumes.

sort of related, but the best way to gain a big following on ARMY twt is to get involved in whatever current drama is going on, for example MHJ drama, boycott drama, general fanwars. ARMYs will flock and mass follow these accounts, and a lot of them are diets who gain a platform and then spread their diet narratives later. one really good example is that elo person if anyone remembers all that, they literally were moots w/ tkk akgaes & calling them bestie but rebranded after they started gaining a mass following for “doxxing” and they started gaining attention because they were “debunking” the OG taennie icloud leaks (lol ofc they were a tkkr doing that). anyways they were awful and did a lot of harm, but they got that platform bc a lot of ARMYs flock to toxic accounts like that, especially when somethings going on, and then they’re impossible to cancel.

last shipping thought but we all know why tkkrs and y/n’s are jealous and weird towards jkk but sometimes its actually the same case for a lot of the other bts shippers, especially jk x hl shippers (like what's w/ all the j*nkookers lol) & yoonm*n. and there’s a lot of ARMYs who fall into this category actually. even if they don’t believe their ship is real, sometimes they still feel a bit passive aggressive/jealous bc they would prefer whatever content was with their bias/self-insert instead. theres so many jkk moments that have been really badly OT7’d, like I’ve never seen anything like the way almost the entire fandom rewrote history to make that jk binging jm content jk binging bts content (its legit wild to me).

and ill never forget during the disney docu when someone pointed out how jk likely knew jms apartment password and it got ratio’d at over 4k by someone saying “he probably knows all his hyungs passwords!” and it wasn’t even funny or clever lmao, it was very much giving

anyways, i believe this is one of the reasons sometimes ARMYs at large are weird towards jkk bc even outside of just tkkrs there are a LOT of HL shippers who take it pretty personally, especially if they’re the sort that projects onto one of the members in their ship. tbh, even if it’s not shipping, it’s a bias line thing where they want to fight over jm/jk being closer to their bias than they are to each other.

its whatever and just a petty complaint lol, i dont care who ppl ship/bias but i do find it annoying sometimes bc there are always ppl constantly downplaying jkks friendship and picking it apart and trying to OT7-ify it more than any other duo. its like ppl are really obsessed & its tiring. just give jkk their flowers sometimes and move on, you know? you definitely do not need to ship them or see them as romantic, but just respect their bond and the things about it that are unique to them, god

alright was just getting this out of my system because I was focused on positive vibes only for MUSE, will be going back to (mostly) positive vibes for AYS!

[sardonic-sprite]

Since EPIC has been taking up 90% real estate in my head without paying rent, here goes a series of me ranting about each song <3

The Horse and the Infant

*Entire opening*

I absolutely adore how it starts so quiet, like they're in the horse's belly planning. In my head, that initial rushing sound is a single candle being lit. As Odysseus names people and gets louder, there's more and more light, until on ATTAAAACK!!! the whole Ithacan army comes BURSTING out and it's glorious

Backtracking though,

What do you live for?/What do you try for?/What do you wish for?/What do you FIGHT for?

I used to goof and end on *what do you DIE for* because that's intuitive, but Odysseus directly contradicts that intuition! You can debate or have it coexist whether he's changing the line in that vision of kindness he clings to during the first act or whether he's in denial over the real damage he's causing, but the fact that the line IS this way gives me Feels

And then--

Pe-ne-lo-pe! Pe-ne-lo-pe! And Te-le-ma-cu-us!

The way everything cuts out but but the light strings and ODYSSEUS' OWN FUCKING HEARTBEAT LIKE COME ON! He loves them so much I'm willing to let him commit atrocities.

*insert EPIC battle music*

You can feel the chaos of battle and I don't know how Jay did it but he did and I love it so much

AHHH! *screech*

The sudden shift. Is a new challenger approaching? Sorta. Again, though, almost everything has cut out, but instead of sweet strings and a heartbeat, there's this droning bass like some inexorable, heavy doom approaching, and then there's Zeus, who sounds so imperial and *unfeeling.*

A mission/To kill someone's son/A foe who won't run/Unlike anyone/You have faced before/Say no more!

The clever phrasing is on point, because it tricks us all. And then Odysseus' reply -- he's already so confident, even cocky. He thinks this is some superpowered champ and he's like HELL YEAH ZEUS MA DUDE LEMME AT IM!

*the fucking piano*

It's a lullaby. It's the sound of ice dropping down Odysseus' spine. It's a million memories spinning in his head.

It's just an infant... What sort of imminent threat does he pose...?

The shock, horror, and disbelief... Ow. Odysseus is completely in denial. And then there's almost a scoff to "imminent threat," like he's trying to make Zeus feel like an idiot for fearing a baby, like he'll change his mind.

If you don't end him now, you'll have no one left to save! You can say good bye to -- Penelope -- You can say goodbye to -- Penelope--

DAMN Zeus pulls the Penelope card. AND YET. They say Penelope twice, just like Odysseus did in the beginning... but it feels so intentional that Telemacus is left out. The gods don't dare put the image of Odysseus' baby boy in his head, or this child will have Telemacus' face and Odysseus will fail.

I COULD RAISE HIM AS MY OWN! he will burn your house and throne OR SEND HIM FAR AWAY FROM HOME! find you wherever you roam MAKE SURE HIS PAST IS NEVER KNOWN-- the gods will make him know

Odysseus offering all these TOTALLY REASONABLE AND WORKABLE suggestions because what the fuck is this command, it's a BABY there are so many other ways-- And every sentence, Zeus and the gods are shooting the idea down with increasingly ridiculous excuses. Ok sure, maybe adopting the kid would end in tragedy when the truth comes out. Ok I guess maybe he'd find out elsewhere and track Odysseus down, but like. BUT THE GODS WILL MAKE HIM KNOW? My dude, WHICH GODS? You want the kid to Not Do A Thing? Right? That's why you want Odysseus to kill him? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU "MAKE HIM KNOW" IF HE'S ABLE TO LIVE IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE IT WOULD SAVE ALL OF FUCKING GREECE A GOOD DEAL OF AGONY!

I'm on my knees for ya! I'm begging please! ... *thunder* *rain* PLEASE don't make me do this, don't make me do this!

He's so desperate. I want to cry. I am also on my knees begging. I just picture Odysseus shaking his head, tears falling, clinging to hope or delusion that Zeus will change his mind. And the rain... even the sky is crying

The blood on your hands is something you won't lose/All you can choose is whose...

This is. A statement of truth? A prophecy? A curse? It gives me chills, though, especially at the end when there's nothing but the last hiss... It feels *unfinished* like there's more to say, and part of it is how the grammar got rearranged to make the rhyme, leaving out a word or two, but since the meaning is still clear, it throws everything else into doubt. There's also the subtle emphasis Zeus puts on *won't*. What the fuck does that mean? Won't as opposed to can't? As though Odysseus could choose to wash his hands but ultimately chooses more bloodshed? Won't as in it's forbidden? Why? Won't as the future tense of don't? Does that mean it's a prophecy, that Zeus is telling Odysseus a neutral fact? WHAT IS THE EMPHASIS FOR?

Final remarks:

Never read the source material, so it was hard for me at first to get invested when there's all these names, but the pure energy and emotion draws you in no matter what, and in the end everything but Odysseus *literally* fades away.

The first MANY times.I listened, up until I watched this one animatic, I was convinced Odysseus turned away and spared the baby. Or better yet, adopted him (bc Im a Bat girlie first lmao). In my head there's a happy AU where Telemacus gets a new baby brother and meets his uncle Polites and everything is beautiful and shut up don't shatter my illusions I KNOW it has to happen bc *theme*

Is it my favorite song in the musical, no, but do I always sing/mouth along once the energy picks up? Absolutely. Overall, Imma go with 6/10

[vintage-bentley]

that spockgirl post is weird. "the exact moment terry pratchett found out about homosexuality"

a) his generation had a better grasp of what a homosexual was than people do today

b) "they got a cottage together on the south downs" is the most terry pratchett happy ending for a ship you've ever heard of. this part of the conversation was not coming out of neil gaiman's mouth, i assure you. all you have to do is read both their work and it's blindingly obvious. NEIL would have been the one surprised to hear about the south downs, and terry the one who suggested it.

i don't know what's more annoying to me: the assumption that because terry was older he must have been the clueless one who needed to be educated about the existence of The Gays . . . or the idea that neil was the one to bring ineffable homosexuality to the table, when we have literally watched this man's multi-decade journey towards acceptance unfold in real time, right to the glorious era of revisionist neilstory we live in now.

an era i'm grateful for, don't get me wrong. but please. terry was the one slipping a discreet gay love story past the audience (and his co-author, apparently), content to let it speak for itself, and neil was the one shocked to learn people were reading into what he considered a perfectly normal bit of 90's no homo humour. the intended sequel was probably no more overtly gay than good omens itself, with the romance more implied, through little things the homophobes could pretend had another meaning instead. the idea that neil planned to have the exact same love story (kissing and all!) that we're watching onscreen in the 2020s play out in a novel of the mid nineties, is just . . . so unlikely. it kills me that so much of the modern tumblr fandom doesn't understand this, and takes neil at his word on this revisionist history.

i think neil has genuinely come around on the idea of the ineffable husbands as a romantic pairing, and i appreciate that. but i wish he didn't feel the need to lie about this evolution, and i wish the new generation of fans would stop their uncritical kissing of his arse. it's awkward for everyone

The post

—

I completely get what you’re saying, but I also feel like it’s not really That Deep? I just saw it as a mildly funny post making fun of straight men discussing making their self insert characters gay and in love.

But I agree that it’s more likely that it was Terry who suggested the South Downs Cottage, not Neil “slash makes me uncomfortable” Straightman. It is interesting that everyone defaults to assuming Neil’s the one who brought the romance to the table, because of how much they idolise him and ignore his past of ineffable husbands denialism.

I think that post in particular is a lighthearted joke and isn’t actually trying to imply that Neil introduced Terry to the wondrous world of homosexuality…but you’re still absolutely right regarding the fandom in general. I’m really tired of the Neil worship.

[momocicerone]

has tumblr ruined me for discord?

so i am not very active here, but ... i'm not awfully active on discord either? and i've found it very hard to find new social circles on discord over the years. i've tried everything under the sun: fandom servers, friends servers, anime servers, gaming servers, girls only servers, support servers, chilling servers... nothing sticks.

fandom servers, they are usually big and .. um. no. just no. controversy and gatekeeping hub is not my place. friends servers: ppl get lives, and the chat dies, that simple. anime servers is fandom server on steroids, plus always a 15 year old creep trying to get in your pants (sometimes the 15 year old is 25. sometimes he's 35. it matters not, nor it makes any difference). gaming servers are, um first of all there is 1% game talk, 45% who wants to join for a game rn?? and 54% feet gifs and waifu sexy art.. i did not sing up for -- this is not what i,, . girls only servers are very good, very mindful very demure but also no vent rule and i'm sorry i'm a bitter bitch who needs to moan about my work sometimes. chilling servers are way too chill like hello anyone active??

there's an (imo) obscure type of server which is adult servers (hold up NOT adult as in XXX or anything like that but like, grown up people servers who chat about their jobs, hobbies, cats and spouses or lackthereof ）and i've joined a handful of them but i can tell you right now that 90% of them feel like high school. and i didn't even have that kind of high school experience growing up so it's kinda ironic witnessing these popularity contests and gossip happen in real time. I think i'm used to fandom hierarchy and BNFs and i understand the logic of people with talents who give for a community being popular so the whole... using pretty privilege to build up relationships is absolutely bizarre in my eyes. I am an adult, i do not understand other adults.

Needless to say I feel like 98% of the new relationships i managed to forge in the past years, since i joined discord in 2017, are desingenuine. Granted, almost every single one of them has fallen apart as expected.

I review my friendships and I realize the longest and most meaningful started here on tumblr and some of them on the fanfiction community, even when we have long lost our shared interests, the friendships remain intact, if no stronger.

perhaps what im trying to say is that through tumblr and writing we were able to accidentally find more alike people than by entering social settings which intended purpose is to make friends. is it because blogging to the void is infinitedly more personal and lets us show ourselves more? i've gotten in so much trouble because of my tumblr humor getting misunderstood in discord chats, i stopped making self deprecating jokes altogher. I am also kind of morbid, ngl, which i guess doesn't help my case.

am i just a weirdo in denial lmao?

i don't feel lonely, per se. I could catch up with a handful of people if i wasn't the lazy mf that i am. but i am bored. i am bored to death. to oblivion. and i refuse to engage in conversations with people with clearly disengenuine intentions, even if it's to entertain a joke.

will i ever meet another one who matches my energy, or learn to break that energy apart into moderate pieces that i can hand out of my friends?

[starrybluez]

Tagged by @antigonemaia - thank you, this is a new tag game for me 💙 looks interesting!

1. Fill in the blank. Vulnerability is

...something that is healthy to share about once in awhile. There are times of course when you shouldn't let down your guard with people who could take advantage. But it's also good to show a softer side instead of pretending to have it all together. It makes you more relatable.

2. You are called to be very brave but your fear is real and you can feel it in the back of your throat. What's the very first thing you do?

Oh boy let's see: first panic, then maybe denial, then panic again, despair, ask for help, then pray? Then try to calm down and assess the situation or think of some solutions. I'm sure the order varies with each crisis. I don't think I'm very brave or good at problem-solving most of the time. 😳

3. What's something that people often get wrong about you?

They think I don't like them or I'm trying to be rude! Only because I'm normally very quiet and reserved. I'm just not the best communicator and will often come off as cold or aloof. There's a lot of trust issues there for sure. It takes me a long time to warm up to people sometimes, but once I do I can be very talkative!

4. Last TV show you binged and loved?

Blossom, Beverly Hills 90210 (2 guilty 90's era pleasures) and currently watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

5. One of your favorite movies:

So many - Anne of Green Gables and It's A Wonderful Life would be two of them.

6. A concert you'll never forget.

Paul McCartney (2015), Cyndi Lauper, Tom Tom Club, David Byrne, B52's, Father John Misty (there's many because one of my friends really loves concerts - Paul is at the top of the list though)

7. Favorite meal

Almost the same answers as @antigonemaia on this one: steak, loaded baked potato (or mashed), lasagna, meatballs, tacos, chicken korma, lemongrass soup, salmon, flounder

8. A snapshot of a moment in your life that brings you great joy.

One of them would be from about 6 or 7 years ago at a cousin's wedding. Me and the older siblings were dancing around in a circle like dorks to "Best Day of My Life" - which at this point I find to be an extremely annoying song and totally overplayed. But, annoying music aside, I loved when we were all close like that and having such a blast.

9. What's on your nightstand?

A lamp, a clock and some books

10. One thing that you're deeply grateful for right now:

This is a tough question for me lately because I can be very ungrateful and have had difficulty seeing the positive side of things. I would say my sister, who has been very helpful over the past few years. Also still having my health and being able to take walks outside. And my love of photography. Sounds basic and boring, but those are the main things.

Tagging, only if you want to: @musicacuantica @music-on-canvas @medazzabon @fatal-plastic-kiss @pauls-mccharmly @wonhakwoon @astarrynightinparis @allmywill @tiggertaylor and anyone else who sees this and hasn't been tagged. No pressure though!

*pls don't reblog

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌  𝟐.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

“ i hate scary movies. ”  

“ it’s good to be scared. ”  

“ it’s a dumbass white movie about some dumbass white girls getting their white asses cut the fuck up. ”  

“ i know my shit. ”  

“ very romantic. ”  

“ i don’t like games. ”  

“ cat got your tongue ? ”  

“ i don’t even know you and i dislike you already. ”  

“ would you relax ? ”  

“ it looks like she’s about to get it. ”  

“ if that was me i would be outta there. ”  

“ prank calls are a criminal offence. ”  

“ this self-induced isolation you got going, it’s not healthy. ”  

“ yes, I know, I’m fine is stretched tightly across your face. ”  

“ you can’t blame real life violence on entertainment. ”  

“ movies are not responsible for our actions. ”  

“ life is life, it doesn’t imitate anything. ”  

“ many sequels have surpassed their original. ”  

“ you are in extreme denial. ”  

“ this has nothing to do with us. ”  

“ get a room. ”  

“ your flattering remarks are both desperate and obvious. ”  

“ i was worried about you. ”  

“ they’re probably already in your life. ”  

“ i wanna make sure you’re safe, if that’s alright with you. ”  

“ did you get that on film ? ”  

“ don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little bit ? ”  

“ how do you know that my dimwitted inexperience isn’t merely a subtle form of manipulation used to lower peoples expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively manoeuvre within any given situation. ”

“ i misjudged you. ”  

“ i’m fine, yeah, fucked up - insecure - neurotic and emotional. ”  

“ drink with your brain. ”  

“ why do you always answer a question with a question ? ”  

“ do you wanna die tonight, ____ ? ”  

“ you wish it was ( name. ) ”  

“ do not fuck with me. ”  

“ why don’t you show your face, you fucking coward ? ”  

“ i knew this wasn’t over. ”  

“ we are all here for you. ”  

“ the 90s is no time to play hero. ”  

“ why would anyone go back in that house anyway ? ”  

“ you’re lucky he didn’t kill you. ”  

“ do these guys have to follow you around everywhere ? ”  

“ it would probably be in your best interest to stay as far away from me as possible. ”  

“ i hope that was an off-the-cuff remark that holds no subtext whatsoever. ”  

“ you are concerned with my personal well-being and not with trusting me or anything, right ? ”  

“ well if i’m a suspect, you’re a suspect. ”  

“ i know all about obsession. ”  

“ i’m’a do what any rational human being would do which is : get the fuck outta here. ”  

“ he wasn’t gutted, i made that up ... his throat was slashed. ”  

“ i don’t wanna be the news. ”  

“ i don’t believe you. ”  

“ i’m a fighter. ”  

“ i need to be alone right now. ”  

“ being alone is not the answer. ”  

“ i’ll be back when you guys start talking about something a little more saved by the bell-ish. ”  

“ if the killer is following a pattern then maybe we can figure out who’s next. ”  

“ i’m not interrupting anything, am i ? you look deep in thought. ”  

“ have you ever felt a knife cut through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath ? ”  

“ it’s him, the killer, he can see us. ”  

“ do you want to die ? ”  

“ no matter how hard you try you’ll never be the hero and you’ll never ever get the girl. ”  

“ wrong guy, dead boy. ”  

“ i fucking deserve a little exposure. ”  

“ stop treating me like glass, ____, i’m not gonna break. ”  

“ enjoying the show ? ”  

“ you need to have your head examined. ”  

“ i just wanna find this fucker ! ”  

“ did i hurt you ? ”  

“ you’re cute when you’re angry. ”  

“ there’s no one there. ”  

“ if we tell you, we’ll have to kill you. ”  

“ don’t ask, don’t tell. ”  

“ is he dead ? ”  

“ he’s still breathing. ”  

“ i wanna know who it is. ”  

“ stupid people go back, smart people run. ”  

“ i’m sick of running. ”  

“ get away from me. ”  

“ this isn’t what it looks like. ”  

“ the killer, he’s here. ”  

“ i’ve been on my own all fuckin’ night. ”  

“ you know me better than that. ”  

“ i never would’ve hurt you. ”  

“ you should really deal with your trust issues. ”  

“ oh, so vulgar. ”  

“ i’ve got my whole defense planned out. ”  

“ that’ll be our little secret. ”  

“ didn’t see it coming, did ya ? ”  

“ did you buy that for one second ? ”  

“ i can’t think of anything more rational. ”  

“ you’re never gonna get away with this. ”  

“ what did you just say ? ”  

“ not wise to patronize me with a gun. ”  

“ personally i think it’s rather poetic. ”  

“ that ... was intense. ”  

“ give me the gun. ”  

“ you got more lives than a cat. ”  

“ it’ll make a hell of a movie. ”  

[ghcstvalleychief]

people hate to hear the truth but BL is made to fetishize m/m relationships, they know lgbtq money is huge and hetero girls will also be all over them. It's funny seeing people so defensive explaining why "not all" are like that but the whole genre is homophobic. For one, they use sexual violence or lack of consent in at least 90% of the series. The companies are pretty homophobic and RACIST, count how many openly gay men and dark skin color main characters are there. Most of the fans don't care about plot, about acting, about chmistry either, they only care about two boys kissing. Tharntype will be my first example, the series lacked of plot continuity nor sense whatsoever, first episode had a rape scene that was romantized, the acting was basic at most and with some was lame yet was one of the most popular series until this day. Now moving forward KinnPorsche, I'll move from the rape ship that is the obvious one to the young ship. People were pretty upset about one of the actors being underage (when the kid is a really good actor anx their scenes were cleaned from NC) because they could not sexualize them comfortably. Some fans even saying that for season 2 the minor actor would be legal it's beyond gross. Fact is, they try to put like we shouldn't bring morals to series, is just fiction but how can you be a supporter of rape and think you have any right to judge anyone. Like I said, BL is an illness in the entertaiment industry and heteros have no right into saying shit because most of them only care about a ship and two boys kissing.

I didn't know what Tharntype was initially until I kept seeing people mention it. So naturally, I was curious about what it was. I watched it and I couldn't get past the 3rd episode. I was confused because I was trying to figure out why this was such a huge thing in this fandom. The more research I did, the more I realized how some of the scenes that happened in TT were commonplace in this genre. I was shocked because I saw something similar to the scene you mentioned from TT but in a completely different show shortly after.

I remember visiting the BL subreddit because I was curious to know what the fandom was like and there were so many posts on that subreddit about how "it's okay for us to ship what we want and we shouldn't be made to feel gross for enjoying rape/non consent scenes." Like, I saw a post in that subreddit about that and I immediately left. What was even worse is how many people responded to and agreed with the post. People can be in denial about it all they want, but there are far more people who have some rather interesting thoughts surrounding all of this. And they are vocal about it. I know there is one actor in particular who's been very vocal recently about the fact that he's straight in real life. We all know who I'm talking about, and I just wonder how many of them are like him.

These actors won't admit to it because the industry is built on this fanservice thing where they have to sell the illusion that these actors are gay but they're most likely straight. They don't want actual out and proud gay men; they just want straight men who can pretend to be gay because that's what sells. I won't completely blame these actors because I know they probably have managers telling them to refrain from confirming or denying anything because of the industry expectation. But I will blame the actors who are straight up homophobic choosing to do this because they're only here for the clout and the money.

The thing about KC is that I never thought it should have existed in this show to begin with. The mere idea of a romance with that couple always made me feel uneasy because Barcode looks like a literal child. He is extremely young and he looks it. I was never going to be receptive to the idea of it and I wasn't. I needed Chay to be played by someone older because it would have me feel less icky but not by much.

[itsnothingofinterest]

I’ve often said that it seems like a lot of the main pros below All Might seem to end up representing serious flaws in hero society; specifically the ones on the hero side of things. So as a fun little exercise I thought I’d go over all those main pros and what flaws they represent (should be easy, they’re usually their own personal character flaws). Maybe also give my assessment to what I think their chances of living to the end of the series are while I’m at it, since representing serious flaws in the old guard can be hazardous to your health if treated poorly.

Endeavor

A man who needs no introduction if you’re any kind of HeroAca fan. love or hate him, everyone knows the new no.1.

Funnily enough, he’s actually the main exception to the rule we mentioned before about a pros’ character flaw being the flaw they thematically represent. See, his character flaw is that he focus so much on heroics, his career in heroics, or just his own general needs over his family; to the point that he only had a family to have children he could live vicariously though, and felt no obligation to love the ones he couldn’t live through. What he represents, is actually two-fold: 1) the toxicity of the ranking system which makes heroics so competitive and encourage heroes focus on some arbitrary number, and 2) the power heroes have that let them do horrible things and get away with it. They’re connected concepts, for sure, but not exactly synonymous.

And with that said, what are his chances of survival? Well, the ranking toxicity is out of his hands, but besides that...it can be hard to tell. He has, under semi-aggressive guidance of his family, publicly taken responsibility for the things he’s done and vowed to make up for it; which helps his chances considerably. But in that same scene he also said that the only way he can atone is to keep doing what he’s always done; beat up villains and at least 1 family member. It sends a mixed message. But in general; I want to say that he’s gotten enough development that he doesn’t feel set to fail his arc now. I’d be tempted to say his chances look pretty good...were it not for all the separate reasons I think he’s likely to die anyway. Oh well, no one’s situation can be perfect.

Hawks

The controversial hero; Hawks!

I’ve summarized Hawks’ main flaw before as ‘hubris’, partially because he’s an Icarus figure so generalizing it like that feels clever, but it’s a bit more complex than that. Hawks main flaw isn’t so much pride as it is self-righteousness. Hawks represents the belief that everything is just right as it is, and the status quo must therefore be protected at all costs. A denial that the heroes he believes in have done anything wrong even after staring their mistakes in the face and spending months talking with those the heroes failed. In fact to contrast Endeavor’s line to the press; Hawks tried to excuse what he did as though it had to be done. That’s the opposite of promising.

With that said, what are his chances of survival? Well, I’d actually put him at 50/50 odds; since I see 2 endings for him, and it’s too early to tell which is more likely. See, while we’ve only got two instances of a “pattern,” Hawks seems like a guy who falls to the ground, recovers and gets back up, only to fall even further down because he never learns. So his two futures are either: A) To actually learn. Take a fall so hard that in the aftermath, he can’t convince himself he was right all along. Maybe he gets Endeavor killed, or does something to sever their relationship. Something that’d force him to self-reflect. B) To take a fall so hard it proves fatal; his mistakes catching up to him in a way that doesn’t give him a chance to self-reflect.

Best Jeanist

Sir Long Neck McImagine Obsession himself.

Best Jeanist represents the self-interest in hero society can have over justice itself. Already known for being focused on superficial image; he’s dramatic reappearance revealed just how deep that went. For when it’s revealed by a villain that a hero has committed great crimes that ended up motivating that villain’s actions; Jeanist’s immediate concern was the damage this would do to the reputation of heroes. More than what kind of person he’s been working alongside, and even more than saving lives, Jeanist’s first thought went the wellbeing of the industry he works in and how bad they would collectively look to the public; that’s what he’s most angry at Dabi for.

Chances of survival are...maybe 40-50%? There’s no real leaning one way or another frankly, so that kind of feels like it’d put him at even odds for the exact opposite reason as Hawks. Will he live? Will he die? Who can say? Leaning just a bit towards death though, because again, representing flaws in the old guard can be hazardous to your health.

Mirko

And here we have the violent one.

While I’m tempted to lump this one with Hawks, I actually think Ms.Mirko represents the heroes use of incredible violence best. See, Mirko is someone who really likes to beat people up, even once in a spin-off said Bakugou’s drive to murder was a good thing in a hero. And while she won’t even feel the need to kill like Hawks apparently did, her response to fighting the High End Nomu was something like “finally, some villains I get to just kill with no ethical issues, that makes things easy”. (Which, considering the High Ends are sentient is, um, hmm). Her love of violence borders on villainous, and she freely admits it is simple obligation that prevents her from crossing that boundary. It’s reminiscent of when Shigaraki pondered what the difference really was between heroes’ & villains’ violence. And, well, if it closes the gap in morality between heroes and villains, it’s going on this list.

Regarding her chances of survival, like Jeanist she’s not exactly defined enough to really say anything for sure or end up on any extreme end; I’ve no real reason to think she’s very likely live or die. That said; on the one hand she seems a bit more eagerly reveling in the flaw she represents, plus a blood knight getting back into the fight after sustaining heavy injuries is never a good sign. On the other hand, Horikoshi clearly likes her for reasons we won’t address here. I think I’m gonna average it out to 50%. Maybe even 60%.

Kamui Woods & Mt. Lady

You wouldn’t think some of the most plain as bread heroes would be joining the ranks of the problematic, and in fairness that’s because they mostly aren’t, but they are the ones who best represent a serious issues with heroes. They represent the way heroes will focus on flashiness & the problems they cause/exasperate in the process. Misconduct performed in the quest for fame; in so many words. Kamui showed this in chapter 1; calling a giant purse snatcher “evil incarnate” because that villain was attention grabbing and disturbing the peace. This is especially noticeable in hindsight, after we’ve see some real problems heroes could be dealing with but aren’t; like lost children on their way to becoming villains. And Mt. Lady represent it by how she operates in a big city despite her powers really working better for more rural or neighborly environments; because city work makes her more popular and rakes in the cash (that she loses paying for repairs).

That said, even if those are flaws I feel are highly associated with them, none of that is stuff they’re actively involved in; they’re naïve at best, and have already improved considerably (for minor characters at least) into better heroes. Frankly speaking, their changes of survival are probably averaging at 85% (80% for Kamui, 90% for Mt.). Like, they’re not gag characters per se; but they’re not super serious characters, they’re not connected to the MCs in any real way, and they don’t knowingly contribute to any of society’s corruptions. Really, so long as big H doesn’t really want to off someone we know for a shock, they’re probably fine.

Gran Torino

And lastly, the only non-big shot on the list, the unpleasant old geezer himself; Gran Torino!

What GT represents better than any other, I think, is the idea of passing any blame a hero may have for the actions/very existence of a villain on to the villain in question, thus allowing the heroes to better absolve themselves. You know like how with Shigaraki, he ignores any fault he has with that guys’ existence and simplifies him down to a criminals they can only beat down; and how dare he exist and thereby hurt Toshinori’s feelings. On that note, I’d say he also represents the idea that the villains are what they are, they’re too far gone, and there’s nothing the heroes can do about it. The most convenient excuse to not ever have to try to make up for what they did wrong, which you can’t even blame them too much for because they “tried their best” (even if they really didn’t).

So, what are his odds? Well frankly I wanna put him at 0% just cause he’s so old that if a villain doesn’t get him, time will. But that’s cheating. In actuality, it’s hard to say; dude’s a stubborn old man, and it really feels like it will depend on his ability to admit how wrong he handled things regarding Tomura. Now admittedly, he did admit to making the wrong choice in handling Kotaro, but he’s said nothing of Tomura so far. For now I’ll put him at 30%, but we’ll have to see if he sticks to his guns regarding current events next time he talks with All Might or whoever to really get a gasp on his chances.

And that’s about all the big ones so we’ll wrap it up. Anyway the point is it feels like a lot of heroes are gonna need to get their acts together lest they risk coming down with Not Alive Syndrome sometime in the future.

[springday-aus]

Hockey Player!AU with Mark

moodboard link

Group: NCT

Member: Mark Lee 

Genre: fluff, romance 

Additionally: college!au

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: approx. 2.3k 

→ Inspired by NCT U’s 90s Love! 

I’m gonna be completely honest: I don’t know shit about hockey so apologizes in advance

Mark is a left-winger for the team

he plays for his university’s team and they’re actually pretty good

within the three-ish years that he’s been on the team, they’ve won a couple of championships

it’s not really hard considering that Mark takes everything too seriously

(at least that’s what Donghyuk says during practice all the time)

Johnny somewhere: “okay Mark”

Yuta: “let’s not overreact Mark”

Taeyong: “leave my son alone”

Mark: “I’m a grown adult…”

Taeyong: “shhh”

since he used to play for his team back in hometown, he naturally joined the university’s team

he was a natural and everyone easily took a liking to him

especially since now they have someone to make fun of constantly

by they, I literally mean just Donghyuk

I’m just kidding—it’s all in good fun because it just shows how close they are

Mark is just that one college kid that’s still cute even when he’s not a freshman anymore

the other team members still treat him like the youngest even though YangYang and Sungchan are like

👁👄👁 hello ?

speaking of which, their teamwork is incredible and it shows through their games

and, on the rare occasions that they don’t win, they still have dinner together afterwards

well, it’s less of dinner and more of drinks and strategizing what went wrong—which are kind of depressing but it’s fine

at least that’s what Sicheng says as captain, but it sounds like denial

anyways, even though Ten is the co-captain, they all work to make their play plan together

they all contribute ideas, especially since they’ve been in the positions they’ve been in for, like, ever

anyways

again, Mark is like really good

so you know he got that bombass scholarship

and that’s what really pushes him to do well bc let’s be real, college is e x p e n s i v e

he also likes ice skating in general because the cold reminds him of home

so he’s one of those hockey players that also likes figures skaters and it’s funny because he gets so many weird looks from the others

(altho, Jeno goes with him sometimes bc he’s nice)

back to what I was saying tho: Mark is really good

despite his personality, he’s a bit more aggressive on the ice—considering he’s a forward

Donghyuk, the right-winger: he makes sense

there’s the passive aggressive-ness

Mark? who knew he had some strength to him when it’s actually applied

seriously, have you seen his thighs?

speaking of which, the team serves a lot of looks

which means a lot of speculators that show up to the games

which means lots of fans

people typically come for the looks, but then stay for the games bc the team is very underrated

they actually win games and everything but like

advertising for the team? nonexistent

@stupid college funding distributions that focus on mediocre sports like football

so, where do you fall into the mix? you’re an og stan

you’ve been in the stands since you entered university

it didn’t even have anything to do with the members (altho, it is nice to have some eye-candy)

you just……… like hockey

even if you don’t understand much about it

it’s just… interesting to watch

so, whenever the season rolls around, you go to the games

but to say over the years that you didn’t develop a particular attachment to our boy Mark…… is an absolute lie

so, do you have a crush on Mark?

yes

but also like

who doesn’t have a crush on Mark

this man is literally so talented and nice and adorable and he just makes you want to take care of him all the time and ugh

one of your friends went to a game with you and literally was just like “oh he’s cute”

You: “we know”

he’s def one of those guys who everyone has or has had a crush on at some point

and you are no different

the thing is that you are fine with not ever confessing because you’re happy with just being on the sidelines because you’ve. literally. just been on the sidelines…

the idea of confessing feels ridiculous bc realistically, what would you mean to some guy that literally e v e r y person has a crush on?

the thing is though is that Mark knows you

at least, he knows of your presence

if he didn’t, it would be embarrassing considering that you come to every game - he’s got loyalty unless some people

Ten: “who?”

Mark: “dude”

Donghyuk: “is this another one of your imaginary friends?”

Mark: “I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE”

jkjk , they all kind of know you, considering you’re one of the more consistent faces since they’ve been playing in these games (primarily the home ones bc free tickets for students but still)

you also don’t paint your face or anything—you just show up in your university sweatshirt with a couple of those foam light up sticks or something

again, not that wild like signs with his face or anything

you’re just…. a spectator

but yeah, Mark knows of you as a loyal fan ?

who also is kind of cute when you’re cheering for them

I want to emphasize that you have gone to, like, nearly every game, but the main ones you’ve *always* have gone to are the home games bc they’re more convenient

or the final games bc hello

they’re the finals, why the fuck would you miss the finals

I emphasize this because, when you’ve suddenly gone down with the flu, you literally cannot make it to the finals championship game

you thought: no one was gonna notice your absence anyways

haha, you thought

anyways

your friends figured you were sick from the beginning and were like, my friend, it’s flu season, stay away from me and pls stay at home

(wash your hands kids, it’s still covid season)

so you didn’t go and stayed in and binged watched iCarly or something

meanwhile, during the game, Mark was like

where... where are you???

so homeboy is highkey distracted and lowkey worried bc did you die???

(you were dying bc of your clogged nostrils, but otherwise, no)

they somehow managed to win by a couple of points so it was kind of fine

but the teasing was increased by all of Mark’s friends

i.e. Johnny, Donghyuk, Jaehyun, and everyone else

come on, it’s so easy to make fun of him

but like he doesn’t care about any of it bc he was worried about you

which got him thinking

why is he worried about someone whose name he doesn’t even know? is there something more? why is there something more? he literally doesn’t know you? except that you come to the games and you’re really cute cheering him on? what is this?

you know, ✨just Mark things✨

this bothered him for quite a bit more than he liked to admit

and it’s about a couple of days later

things are normal and you don’t feel like everything is dripping out of your nose

until you’re walking through campus from your class

and there’s some footsteps running from behind you that makes you coil up into a semi-standing ball bc you thought a bunch of frat boys were just excited or some shit

but then the footsteps stop at you and you’re standing there, wide-eyed

in front of an out of breath Mark

he was walking out of his class with Jaemin and he spotted you from across the quad

and immediately ran to you

Jaemin: I was talking but okay

this isn’t about you Jaemin

anyways

Mark is in front of you, panting and you’re just like sir?

You: “how are you out of breath? aren’t you an athlete?”

Mark: “oh my God, you’re just like Donghyuk”

you give him a bit of time (and some water bc he seemed like he needed it)

and once he’s caught his breath, he stands up and blurts it out

Mark: “what happened to you during the championship?”

You: “....................... what?”

seeing you blink at him confused, he can feel his ears reddening when he’s realized the situation he’s put himself into

Mark: “um, I just”

Mark: “I noticed that you weren’t at the game”

You: still confused bc how does he know about you

You: “huh?”

Mark: oh my God this is the wrong person, want to die

Mark: “you know what, I have the wrong person, I’m just gonna bounce I am so sorry—”

he starts backing up, but you aren’t letting him escape

You: “whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, hold up hold up”

You: “I didn’t even know that you knew that I knew you��

You: “wait, did you run here just to ask me that?”

Mark is full on flushed at this point bc of all the questions and realizations and it’s all crashing down on him all too soon

and now you have this mischievous look in your eyes that remind him of Ten when he’s clowning Doyoung and he feels like he’s made a mistake

a good mistake but still a mistake

You: “is it?”

Mark: “well, you like, show up to all of our games and you didn’t go to the finals so I didn’t know if anything happened”

You: “oh, I got sick and I figured I shouldn’t be going into giant crowds while having my insides die internally”

You: “but, I did hear from my friends, congrats btw”

Mark: “thanks”

Mark: “are you feeling better tho?”

You: “yeah, but like, my throat is still kind of shitty”

Mark: “oh, if you want, I have a couple of friends who might be able to cook something up for your throat”

Mark: “I’d offer to make something, but Kun doesn’t let me in the kitchen anymore after finding out about the egg incident”

You: “the egg incident?”

Mark: “I can’t cook, like. at all.”

You: “I think I’m good, I was just gonna go get some tea to make it less scratchy or something”

Mark: “I can walk you?”

You: “sure”

so you two go to a cafe or something for you to get some warm tea and you two end up talking and you get to know each other a bit

and then you end up trading numbers and you make some time together

since Mark doesn’t have to go to practice until the next season, his time has opened up considerably

sometimes you study together

other times, you go check out some other places nearby campus

(eventually, you did get to try Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Kun’s food, to which there was no turning back at that point bc they make the best kind of food—free)

you’re basically dating at this point and his friends know you as his significant other so

Chenle: “is (Y/N) gonna be here?”

Mark: “no? it’s our movie night”

Donghyuk: “aren’t you dating tho?”

Mark: “what”

he told you he took it casually and cool, but considering how red his ears were getting when he told you………………. cute

Mark: “c-can you believe they thought we were dating?”

You: “is that not what we’re doing?”

Mark: “what?”

you both established your relationship after that and Mark got a lot more shy and it’s super adorable bc it makes you wanna take care of him and ugh

he’s precious okay

also cut to him trying to ask the other guys for advice, but then he gets embarrassed as Johnny and Ten tries to educate him about love

or how Lucas gives him cheesy lines to use on you

these boys are having a field day and Xiaojun and Doyoung have never felt more at peace

anyways

def the nervous type that he can’t even hold your hand and keeps asking if it’s okay

so you’re the top of this relationship bc he’s a shy lil boy

after a bit tho, he gets more comfortable and it’s great

he’ll get teased often right? when it happens in front of you, he just runs to you with a whine of your name and buries his face into your neck

and you end up yelling at someone

it’s cute tho

bc they def see you both as an adorable couple

when the hockey season starts rolling around again, you def spend more time at the practices—whether you’re there to watch, do your homework, or just help motivate him to play better

you started dressing up more too, especially since he gave you his jersey so you started wearing them to the games (and also face paint bc Jungwoo had some extra for an unknown reason)

and you make Mark Lee signs and it’s super cute

Sicheng also invites you to the afterparty dinners bc why not

also, remember that thing I said about watching figure skaters?

you two watch the Olympics for that and it’s like tradition now for you two to settle in front of the tv with snacks and watch them skate

so, since he’s an athlete, he has to be careful with his body bc then like scholarship will go poof

that means some of your dates might be physically limited

like he’ll go mini-golfing with you, but he can’t go to like self-defense classes with you

he’ll go to support you but if his foot gets busted, his coach and the rest of the team will be on his ass and he feels a bit bad about it but like you understand

considering that you absolutely refuse to get on the ice bc hockey is hard people

speaking of hockey, you told Mark he’s hot when he plays and he was FLUSHED

bc like the look in his eyes and the way he carries himself…. reminds you of when you’re doing some more………...steamy activities

anyways, stan Mark Lee

he’s a sweetheart who works so hard and you’re there to provide him with lots of love

[anti-porn-unicorn]

I’m a girl (18 now) who got exposed/addicted to pornography at a really young age, and I wanted to share my specific story on this blog so that the platform can get it out there.

Under the cut is my full story, and it’s a little long winded, so if you don’t want to read the whole thing, I bolded in purple the general topic/idea of that section. Just look for whichever of those interests you and the section will be about that. The first and last paragraph are good for context and end goal, though.

Thank you.

I don't fully remember my first exposure to porn. I know I was in third grade (6-7 yrs old, I had skipped a grade). The reason I had wanted to share my story, in fact, is because I don't see many stories with circumstances similar to mine. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. 1. The person is a victim of CSA/grooming. 2. The person was at a generally pubescent age (~11-14). And/or 3. The person experienced porn as a quick disturbance. To be clear, these stories are as valid and important as mine, and I simply think more perspectives make evidence of the effects of porn more airtight. I've never been the victim of SA, harassment, or grooming, ever in my life. My story shows the effects of exclusively porn.

The first memory I can recall about this was actually the first time I got caught. I was 6 yrs old, and very into video games,so on this day, I was playing a 3D porn game on my crappy hand-me-down laptop. I kind of knew that what I was doing wasn't acceptable, so I was sitting in my room in the corner as far from my door as possible. My mom walked in so I just slammed the laptop shut because I wasn't that good at hiding things. My mom obviously asked what I was doing, and I tried to keep her from looking, but it was right there when she reopened it. This is where the battle of it begins.

From ages 6-14 I don't have a good timeline of events but a few pop out that exemplify the severity of the issue. These are very probably out of order.

I got an iPod Touch for Christmas (~6-7), and every night I would watch porn on it until they caught on. I literally still remember some names of the sites, most that don't even exist anymore. My parents have always been amazingly caring. I couldn't ask for more. During the earlier ages (~6-8) I was put with a child therapist for fear of a deeper issue. My parents started either taking technology away in the night and/or setting restrictions on the internet. Unfortunately, between my slight tech-savvy, and my crazed addiction at this point, this wasn't a solution.

The addiction got DEEP. It warped my brain. When I had no technology, I used everything I could find.

Whenever I had access to less restricted internet, I used it. Once I asked my older cousin to use her iPod and watched it on there.(she noticed and told my mom. I remember my mom had asked me "Is there anything you need to tell me?", and I knew what she meant, but I just said "nope!" and walked away. At one point my dad's work provided him with a Blackberry, and I asked him could I play one of the built in little games. Once I had it, I watched porn. (when I gave it back to him he pressed the "back" button, and I was caught.)

I used Youtube. This was when YouTube was way less moderated (back when the app was a little old timey TV). I learned I could look up "striptease" and "nip-slip" and other stuff like that, finding more soft-core videos that could suffice when the internet in general was locked down.

I straight-up found out ways to disable the restrictions. Once I found out my mom's PIN for the controls, I went and disabled them, but changed the PIN so it would look like they were still on, and so that she couldn’t access and re-enable them. (I made it 7399. Spells "sexy". My mind was a mess.)

My parents bought a book called "The Classical Tradition". I'm just learning now as I'm looking it up that it was a Harvard Reference Library book (probably why it was so damn thick) about ancient Greek and Roman culture. I didn't know that. I had realized that sprinkled throughout the book there were pages that were more glossy than the rest, which you could see from the sides of the pages (the book was HUGE). These were the photo paper, which had the classical paintings and sculptures. And because these had nudity (Think "The Birth of Venus" type) I would regularly flip through this book when I needed a "fix". Absurd.

My parents got me an American Girl book that was made to ease worries about the developmental years. The pages on breast development / the anatomy of the vagina were what I looked at the most. When my parents had gotten me the child therapist, there was the logical fear that I might have been molested. The therapist gave me a book where there was a page with two cartoon mice, a boy and a girl. They were wearing swimwear/underwear and the point of that was "anywhere the clothing is covering is somewhere that adults can't touch you without telling.” They might as well have been stick figures, there was NO detail. But since they were in ‘underwear’ I'd always look at that page a lot. Anything barely vaguely sexual.

During this part of my life, I got no real pleasure out of this, I was just obsessed. For the first year I even watched it on mute out of fear of being caught. The lowest point during this period was when I very unfortunately filmed a video of me touching myself. I got nothing out of it and had no intent on ever sending or posting it. I was just emulating what I had been seeing. I deleted it the next day. I was 9 then.

From puberty until now (11-18) is when my sexuality was shaped by it. The addiction was far more controllable, I could spend a couple weeks to a couple months without it, but I'd always come back. Because it was now tied to my body. And while my need for it to be constant was gone, now I had to deal with the tolerance issue.

Over time what I watched became more and more depraved. I had the personal preference of hating anything amateur, because of the low quality, so I managed to avoid anything obviously non-consensual or involving visibly underaged girls, but that doesn't really mean much with the stuff the studios were putting out. During the middle points it got REALLY violent and disturbing. Bordering on torture (extreme kink) and even bodily deformation. As a young woman, I couldn't really tolerate any of the role based Kinks (father-daughter, babysitter, schoolgirl), so more extreme for me meant more extreme acts. Just absolute destruction of women's bodies for the purposes of sex. I moved away from that when tumblr banned porn and I started using reddit for it, and also during that time I was realizing how fucked up of an addiction that this was, even before I found feminism/anti-porn. I actively started trying to quit it, for good. But I always went back.

One big effect is heavy confusion with my sexual orientation. A lot of people face this, but the addition of porn for me really throws things off. Like: Am I bi, and a form of comphet/denial/inexperience keeps me from seeing women in a romantic way? Is it a mix of that and porn? (relatively likely) Or am I just straight, and the porn has completley shaped my mind (likely). 90% of the time I watched solo female content or lesbian content, and could only stand to watch certain specific forms if it included men at all. In real life I find a fair amount of men attractive but their bodies in a sexual sense are tolerable at best, but usually cringe inducing. l've never been attracted to a woman romantically, but exclusively women's bodies are sexual to me. It feels like everything in my brain that I would have been able to use in order to figure myself out has been permanently overwritten with incorrect information. Because of porn.

I've still got it bad. Every once in a while, I’ll read something vaguely sexual, or see a woman in a risque photo, and then the seed is planted. I'll always say "I'm not going to do it, I always feel disgusting after, it’s not even really enjoyable at this point, I can do better than this”. I always give in the end of the night. I'm 7 days off of it. I've been on this earth for 18 years. 12 of those years I've been cripplingly addicted to pornography. Two thirds of my life, and for as long as I can remember. I can never undo it. Just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, only able to achieve remission, I will always be a porn addict. I have to be careful. But I have to hope for the future. And with finding the community that is speaking the truth about this, I'm heartened to do better. To no longer be held down by an addiction to consuming my own oppression.

[famdommcfanface]

You know what fuck it I'm liveblogging my reaction to the horrific masterpiece that is supernatural s15 e18, Despair

First of all s15 is so bad, nothing Dean has done this series is canon because I say so, Chuck can suck a dick but more importantly whatever idiot decided Chuck was god can go suck a dick. I liked Chuck, then they retconned him to a degree that nothing makes sense anymore.

Right it is 1:18am and I feel this is the proper time to watch this episode.

Huh Billie wasn't even in the last episode. That's kinda weird idk

I know Jack's not going to die but that won't stop me from threatening whoever that if you kill him again I'm going to murder someone

Cas 😢😢

Oh now you don't want Jack to die, huh Dean? Now you care about your fucking son.

I hate Billie but I love that coat fucking damn. That's what I would wear if I were the personification of death.

I keep thinking the empty is Claire because I have remarkable face blindness and they look very similar okay!!!

I was not paying attention what happened to Chuck? Ah I don't really care.

The empty uses it/it's pronouns for such a homophobic show supernatural has a truly remarkable relationship with gender.

Tbh Billie told Sam and Dean she wanted them dead the first time they met I swear. Like you can't be surprised rn Sam.

Oh yeah the empty has to survive to take Cas to superhell. Sorry I'm still in denial about that.

Jack is a whole-ass toddler and does not deserve this shit. I know he's going to be god but that's not a responsibility I want to place on a three year old.

I know all this criticism has been done but I need to say this shit okay??? I'm sorry I didn't listen properly when you guys said it. You were all so right.

Damn these boys have been through so many murderous rages...

Wait is Michael still around? Fuck I forget these things. Michael sucks anyway fuck him.

Charlie!!!! Although she's not real Charlie. I miss real Charlie. I miss real Bobby too. They're not the same.

Thing is my ex used to make me scrambled eggs so this is thematically important to my life.

Every time Cas is on screen I cry because I know what's coming.

Jack needs a hug. So does Cas. Everyone should hug. People don't hug enough in this show.

That damn trenchcoat's been through so much... Jimmy just wore a trenchcoat one day and that changed the course of human history.

WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE WHOLE THING WITH EILEEN IF SAM ENDS UP WITH FACELESS WOMAN I STG

Damn Sam got left on read hate it when that happens.

Sam is Eileen's phone background what the fuck yicyoctiguoboh they went on like three dates idk.

Through Sam and Eileen and Dean and Cas not ending up together the message of supernatural is that love sucks and is pointless and the world hates you.

Donna!!!! Christ she'd better not die.

Why didn't you guys teach Jack to drive more. Like you're only allowed to learn to drive when we think you're about to die (which is most of the time tbh so what's their excuse)

Running through how much everyone's died in my head but as you can tell I don't pay attention much and it's hard.

Ow my shoulder hurts suddenly. I think it's the writer's fault.

I swear they all died when I wasn't paying attention. People started talking about all the hunters dying and I assumed they were all dead.

Rowena! Where's she gone she's barely been in this season. I know she's dead but that doesn't matter (which kind of annoys me because I cried when she died and then she just came back but also like good for her)

Cas has been wearing that coat for ten straight (ha) years and it still looks like it doesn't really fit.

Dean you could have murdered her then come on.

Supernatural is interesting in that things happen and they illicit like 0 reaction from me. 90% of tragic events in spn give no emotion. Charlie and Bobby are dead and I don't care.

Oh Donna. Okay I care a bit about that. But like not enough for my face to change. I still find the show compelling though, it's strange.

Aw look at Sam's big puppy dog eyes. Lol.

Gay gay gay. Although I still feel like Cas is being written as straight it's weird. Like I know he's gay and I know the writers know he's gay at this point but like they're not writing it. He's going to confess his love this episode but that's later I guess.

They always get so much blood out of their hands so quickly. And then they just walk it off.

WAIT I RECOGNISE THIS ROOM OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING. IT WAS HAPPENING IN THE BUNKER THIS WHOLE TIME I NEVER RECOGNISED IT.

Paused it oh my god oh my god I am not prepared for this. This is such a weird viewing experience no show is this unhinged.

Every shot is starting to look more and more familiar and let me tell you my face is showing something rn

WAIT CAS CONFESSES HIS LOVE FOR A REASON???

I've paused it again

Like I know it sounds obvious but I kind of just assumed Cas randomly decided right I'm going to confess my love now, vaguely arbitrarily. But he's like summoning the empty and the only way to summon it is to confess your gay love for your best friend xhfkfj

I was slightly worried I wasn't going to get as much as I imagined out of this episode because I knew what was going to happen. I was so wrong. The video's still paused I'm just putting off the inevitable.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I want to pause it again but I have to face this

OH CHRIST OH MY GOD THE ONE THING I WANT IS SOMETHING I KNOW I CAN'T HAVE

Cas is smiling it's always so weird when he smiles

Like even though I knew this was going to happen I could never quite see this happening but it is and fuck fuck fuck.

Oh my god this is actually pertinent in a way I always sort of assumed it wasn't.

I'm not praising the writing I'm not this is awful but also this is the third time in fifteen seasons I'm crying.

I LOVE YOU

Y YO A TI CAS

He just fucking shoves him oh my god

THE HANDPRINT

Like I saw it when it happened and it meant nothing to me, you know? I knew all the bits as anyone who really liked doctor who and Sherlock in 2015 did but there was no emotion behind it. I knew the significance of the handprint and all that shit. But when I watched it I was mainly thinking 'damn that's really what Castiel sounds like he's got such a weird accent, I usually only see him in gifs'

This is BAD WRITING I am NOT PRAISING IT

But also oh my fucking god

It's paused again btw. Like they just show the most significant scene in the history of bad TV and just cut to Jack and Sam coming out of a grain silo and I need a minute here, okay????

You can't expect me to care about this anymore sorry that scene eviscerated me. Donna's dead frankly who gives a shit. Jack just lost his dad even if he doesn't know it I do not have the brain power to comprehend that rn.

ME AND DEAN NEED A MINUTE OKAY THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL TIME

Oh god it's done.

The fact that Cas has died before... and Dean's always like super upset but he was never that upset y'know. He was never like that. Fucking gay oh my god.

Right it's over. That was the worst episode of TV ever made I'm going to watch the scene again because fuck you.

[hillchill]

ACS S03E04 here we go 🙄

ML:”I really like working in the executive branch” (me: you really like working up the executive branch!)

ML saying right to Linda’s face that no one wants her (Linda) back at the WH, yay, finally

A list named “Bill and Hillary’s body count” makes an appearance… like what?!?! I thought we weren’t into conspiracies with this one

Yep, Monica, he’s busy and doesn’t want you around the WH… didn’t he dump you the last time you talked, though?

Yeah, Linda, everything you do is out of concern for ML…

Also, the relationship lasted two years on and off. I’d say, if Corona has taught us anything, it’s that two years can seem like nothing when caught in bigger scheme (see: re-election)

ML:“Everything he gets me is so ugly!” LMAOOOO that’s a burn

ML insisting to see Bill when he’s spending time with Chelsea? How about NOPE?!?!

Yeah, girl, you’re obsessed, just give him up, why are you even like this

Yeah, Linda, we all thought MLwould have her tabloid moment and then move on, but partially she got caught in the impeachment shenanigans, partially she later tried to capitalize on that and always clung to what happened, instead of disassociating herself from that image, so we’re still talking about it 25 years after the fact. Uff.

Tripp about ML: “She’s no victim”…. Till now, Linda

Urgh ML mentions WJC called for her to come to see him on his wedding anniversary. That’s ugh… I still ask myself what was going on at the time, it’s so unnerving we’ll never get to hear the whole detailed truth about how things went down in WJC’s brain, because I really cannot understand him (is it because I don’t have a penis? Maybe)

They do mention the crutches, even thou they never showed them

Well, Goldberg has a poster of “Atlas Shrugged”, just to underline where her political thought stands

Ok, do the writers have a strange fascination with this crutches oral sex thing? Because that’s the second time it’s mentioned and the image it depicts is particularly… explicit? Idk

“She orgasms, he doesn’t like to”, I kinda wished they stressed more that he only came twice, like, how is that a power move lmao…. also, does he have kinda like a denial kink or is it because he felt guilty about the affair and so not coming made it “less real/less of a betrayal”? Also? ML do you come from giving him a blowie? Damn you really are a submissive 😅 that’s weird, I hope at least she touched herself, because otherwise that’s some denialist thing she enjoys, which kinda would explain why she stayed this long in all  the drama

“It’s not sexual harassment” “There’s no quid pro quo” I AGREE!!! I TOTALLY AGREE! Not an abuse of power, not a crime! She even got a higher pay, damn, girl sto whining about not working in the west wing anymore!

WJC to ML after she called Bettie Currie in a crazed crying tirade: “Who the hell do you think you are?” (…) “some fucking 24 year old” YES; EXACTLY; TELL HER! (But also, put it in your pants, Bill, because that damned pound of flesh has more power over you than Congress and Senate combined)

WJC:”If I had known this was who you were, I’d never gotten involved with you” Biiiittch, you unzipped at the sight of a fucking thong, man! You didn’t show much judgement, neither you really tried to understand if the girl was stalkers or not, don’t try to be all high and mighty now!

All said, it’s preoccupying that one of the most powerful world leaders has to spend part of the day trying to find this cray girl a job, like he kinda says here.

WJC kinda hinting they’ll spend time together in NY after he’s out of office… ugh

Idk if Vernon Jordan slapping ML’s ass implies some kind of guilt by association since he’s in WJC’s close circle and that move was definitely out of bounds (like, does it reflect badly on WJC too or is it more of a “all powerful men are the same” thing?)

ML says she thinks WJC is having other affair(s) with “Debbie the stewardess” and… Barbara Streisand (that’s an old rumor). Urgh

Monica, girl, you are obsessed, bordering on stalkerish

Monica, damn, you’re fucking choosy. Get the fucking job

Ok, Linda says the same

Oh, that infamous one about getting together when he’s out of office… I feel grimy just hearing it

Oh, finally, Linda fucking snapped!! ML was really getting annoying and kinda choosy/entitled, though it’s true she treated Betty like shit

Linda you’re faaaake, you’re just reconciliating for the gossip

“This blue dress is really *really* dirty” ugh, I need brain bleach.

Aaaaaargh “…He was so excited to see me that he… you know… finished” pls wipe my brain right now, why does it seem like she’s describing WJC’s dong as an overexcitable dog?

As far as I know, ML didn’t think it was guacamole, she thought it was spinach dip. Was guacamole popular in the 90s? Did white people even eat it?

Still, they skirt around the relationship she had with the teacher (drama tech guy?), but don’t address the guy at the pentagon. Plus wasn’t the teacher married as well?

I can empathize with people always liking your friends, but never you, Monica, but that isn’t cause to get with WJC. Also, how did she get all that confidence  (thong showing etc) if she was always the second choice? Like, I think she either had quite a lot o cheekiness in her or she knew that if she showed guys she was sexually available they wouldn’t pass over the chance, even if she wasn’t their dream girl.

Ok, yeah, now she says the guy already had sex with one of the students so… kinda confirms the theory

“I fell completely *obsessively* in love with him”

Urgh Monica made friends with the wife of teacher guy, so it could be easier for the guy to have her around. And he had a kid at this point. Bleagh. Both for the guy (mostly) but also Monica just say no to pieces of shit like these

Ok, poor girl was raped ad 14? Didn’t know that, still doesn’t change her behavior in later years though.

Monica has less self respect than I do when it comes to guys and low self esteem, still manages to date more than I do… fuck my life I guess 😅

Tripp: “Paula Jones, could she help me?”Goldberg: “with what? Dating within your blood line?” Lmaoooooooooo they don’t mince words about her, do they?!?!

Still no Hillary, but giving how this ended, she’s probably gonna be in the next episode and I dread her portrayal by Edie Falco, I have bad bad feelings about this.

All in all, can I say kinda boring? They probably could have condensed these four episodes into two, three at most and probably the series could have been 6 episodes long, I believe. We’ll see how it goes.

[aobawilliams]

I wish you would write an AU where Takagi can read peoples thoughts(could simply be words or abstract pictures) when he makes direct contact with them, which leads to him finding out about Conan. And if not that, an AU where there is a secret supernatural department in the police force, (Sato is possibly a member) and Takagi somehow ends up there. i am thinking a lot about him lately.

The first one got merit but I do like the fact Takagi is just your average guy? He’s nothing exceptional and I love him for that, so I’ll go with the second one.

The classic “I accidentally witnessed something and now I feel like I’m way above my paygrade (but at least they got better coffee)”.

Setting would be urban fantasy, there is the whole secret fantasy society with faes, ghosts, wizards and whatnots existing parallel to us, but hard work makes it a secret for most people. There is a special affiliation in the police to regulate those cases, they have like a really common name and officially do regular police work, but unofficially their cases are 90% fantasy stuff. Um I guess the members are spread through the police work, but the cases assigned to them are generally surnatural stuff, if that makes sense?

The squad from Wild Police (so Date Wataru, Hiromitsu, Rei, Matsuda and Hagiwara) were all part of that surnatural department. Sato too.

I’ll go the comedy route and, either Date Wataru honestly thought Takagi was part of that secret department too, and like they never openly spoke about it in public because ~secrecy~ but Date would make allusions and Takagi would just roll with it even though he’s mostly confused about what does it means? Or he just assume it’s some kind of slang/specific police language and roll with it. He didn’t receive the handbook but, that’s fine, he can learn on the job!

Other option is, since they share a name (Wataru), at some point some document got mixed or someone grabbed the wrong Wataru and Takagi got no clue what’s happening but it’s fine!! He’ll do his best!!

And after that no one cleared the mistake and just assumed he was part of their group.

And so he regularly got dragged dealing with surnatural stuff, except most of the problems aren’t obviously surnatural, it would be like reprimand about keeping their existance/identity secret (which, Takagi didn’t know he was assigned to those kind of witness protection case, but he’s not gonna spill), or property damage (which is rookie job but, he is a rookie) and other shenanigans that, if you squint hard enough, isn’t surnatural, nope nope. (He is deep in denial at first).

At some point they decides he’s doing a good enough job and he got assigned as Sato’s partner. And they start getting involved in bigger/more important job. Which includes fighting/capturing surnatural troublemaker.

And Takagi’s denial can’t hold as well. Because. What the fuck is that, Sato??

And Sato is just like, that’s just a wizard, didn’t you read the handbook/learnt that in school??

And then Sato has to make him go through a crash course of Surnatural 101 because no one told him anything and he honestly thought it was regular police work, honest.

They were hiding behind a brick wall, the suspect clearly agitated and looking for them, and Takagi understood the need to stay silent, has learn in school how to deal with that kind of situation, but. He needed to ask.

“Excuse-me, Sato...” he whispered, “but did that man just threw a fireball at us?”

She looked at him, rising an eyebrow, before focusing again on their target. “Didn’t you read the report? He’s a fire wizard, of course he knows how to throw fireball, it’s the most basic spell.”

Which, leaves him with more questions than answer, because. What.

“What do you mean a wizard? I thought that was just. A metaphor or something. That can’t be real magic right?”

She scoffed. “Of course it’s real magic, how long have you been in the force again?”

(Or something like that. They manage to arrest that man all while Takagi got an existantial crisis about what the fuck is his life and Sato gives him a crash course on wizards and stuff)

[mybg3notebook]

Loving your analyses of Astarion's behaviour and character so far! It has really reaffirmed in my eyes just how much of a bastard he really is. (I say that fondly, of course.) Do you have any thoughts on why the general reaction on tumblr has leaned so much towards woobifying him? After looking at his actual (explicit and implicit) morals in game it seems quite odd that some people are reading him as an edgy soft boi who just needs a hug from the right person to fix him.

Hello!

Thank you very much! I really enjoy seeing chars in a deep way. It makes me change my opinion on them, sometimes. That's why I like to do these analysis, even though it's a lot of work for a person who doesn't speak English as a native.

Lol, please, I won't be offended. Astarion is a bastard in the whole sense of the word, lol.

However, I find Astarion an interesting evil (evil neutral imo) char to explore the narration of “abuser who found a greater abuser”, with all the topics I talked about in those posts. I would feel a bit disappointed if Larian suddenly changes him into a man who always had a gold heart (because for that, you need to give hints, even in EA, and none of that has been seen so far).

An example of how this is done is with Shadowheart, she is evil and she supports a lot of cruelty that Astarion does too, but we got meta-knowledge (and not so much meta when we see her heavily drunk after killing the tieflings) that gives us enough reasons to believe she has some heart in her, despite Shar and her teachings. I do not support the idea of “she is a softie”, because she is not, but she doesn't have the same level of cruelty nor revels in murder so much as Astarion does. They represent different degrees of evilness. What plays in her favour is her face, which gives the idea of more softness than she truly has; the same happens with Astarion. Lae'Zel is less cruel than Astarion in general, with more logical reasons to be so because her brainwashed culture made her to be more pragmatic than a taster of cruelty, and yet, she receives a lot of more hate in the fandom... and it is clear to me why: she is not “beautiful” in the traditional white euro-centric standard sense.

And this is my point to answer your question (remember all this is personal opinion): I think there are many reasons why people woobify Astarion (not only in tumblr, but also in Reddit or in Larian Forums, it's a big part of the EA fandom).

First and foremost, I believe it's his appearance. If he were a bugbear or a goblin, few in this fandom would give a thought about his abuse, his pain, Cazador, etc. They would focus on his “bastard” side and leave it at that (again, Lae'Zel has this treatment). I want to make clear that I'm not questioning people's taste, everyone can like whatever they want to. I'm saying that, for me, there it proof enough to sustain this idea that Astarion is woobified because he is beautiful: when you read that a lot of people in this fandom never had an interest in Larian's previous games, or isometric rpgs, or even turn-based combat games (there are some people who are giving feedback against the game being a turned-based combat one! It's the nonsense because it's basically Larian's style), but they bought bg3 because they saw Astarion, even though they knew nothing about him.... All this, clearly, shows to me that a lot of people approached this game for only one char, for only his design (a big amount of them say it explicitly), and it is not far-fetched to know that people justify more easily beautiful villains than ugly ones. We can explore a lot of examples of this in many fandoms. People can love villains because they have real complex reasons to be so (like Loghain in DAO), but they also can like whimsical villains just because they are “hot”. I feel this is Astarion's case, he is a “beautiful villain” who apparently has always been evil. His reasons for his whimsical evilness is more like “it's always been in his nature”. Unless the family part has a different role in his backstory (mirror option) and it's not a mere line for a player to play a “good aligned” Astarion when picked as Origin. I don't like to read much about it in that scene because the game still doesn't have companion Tags; those options in the mirror can be there just for the player to pick, flavoured with each origin, but not necessarily the three of them are canon. This will be seen once we have the companion tags activated as it happened in DOS2.

What we can say for sure is that Larian knew what they were doing when they picked Astarion's design; they choose a dangerous white guy with white hair and evil alignment: an archetype that catches a lot of people in many fandoms.

Part of his woobyfication process has a deep root there, in my opinion. Again, if he were a bugbear, a goblin, a githyanki, a monster-humanoid... we would not have 90% of the EA fandom collapsed with his image, or Larian focused on him to the point that after 4 patches he had new scenes, lines, corrections, and development, while Wyll is still there, sitting in the bench of “the less developed chars” (with around 2k less lines than the rest of the chars, and his personal quest bugged since the first day). Yes, I don't like the preference on one single companion when I am seeing the “future Beast” (from DOS2) in Wyll.

Second, he is a vampire. Vampires are a great element in any fantasy narrative. You know you will have a lot of fans behind a vampire char. Not by chance Vampire The Masquerade is one, if not the most important product of White Wolf, which keeps still giving them a lot of profit despite being decades old. Vampires are always a good element of personal horror, of lack of control of your own body, and also an allegory of abuse, power, and rape. This concept of “being a monster without control” that they embody helps a bit more for the woobification.

Third, people tend to mix a lot headcanon with what a character gives us as canon. We can have a long useless discussion about which is more worthy: canon or headcanon, or about why one should or should not respect canon, but putting all that discussion aside, and considering the previous two points, I see that a small part of his woobyfication comes from the fact that people love denial and self-projection instead of analysing of what they are given (and let's be honest, we know in tumblr, reddit and others social networks, people lack of reading comprehension skills, which makes analysis all about self projection without a real effort in understanding the character's perspective. It's all about the player unilateral perspective. How can you analyse a char you didn’t play with or explored in all its paths? ).

So if their beautiful character is behaving in a way they don't want to, they start considering him “random” (I read this so much that confuses me, because Astarion has clear patterns for everyone who wants to see them, like the rest of the companions. He is not random, he follows pretty well all what I listed here, that list helps you to predict what he will disapprove or approve) so they end up filling this apparent “randomness” with headcanons and self-projections. Don't get me wrong, I don't despise headcanons, I love them, I have a lot of them and create with them. But I also like honest analysis and separate what I want from what I get from a company (to correctly give them feedback, otherwise I will be giving them my headcanons).

If you don't want an aspect of a given char, and you want to deny it, it's perfectly fine. Do it, it's your entertainment, but be honest with the fandom about it, acknowledge this is a personal denial you enjoy. And mainly, don't use headcanons and self-projections to attack the rest of the chars you don't like in their own tags. We know how aggressive some people in this fandom are, and it's a bit frustrating to see aggression without the slightest effort in understanding the character they hate.

There is also something sad to say, related to self-projection, that contributes to Astarion's woobyfication too: a lot of players are survivors of abuse who connect with him from trauma, and I can understand if denying his past is a way to help them to release any kind of pain or need for vengeance against their abusers. It's a natural and totally understandable projection. The woobyfication, then, ends up in an intense self-projection where they give to the char something that they needed because their own trauma.

This is why I would like Larian to give us other survivor chars that people can project onto, whose stories are really about survivors of abuse who were not evil in the beginning. Because I feel a lot of people approached Astarion as a narration of a “victim who will become a victimiser” or as a “bad behaved victim”, instead of what I think it's shown: an abuser who found a greater abuser (and his story is about punishment of the abuser and the concept of justice in a world which has none), so trauma survivors will end up with disappointment if they think Astarion is something similar to the representation of what they experienced. Plus, vampirism is never good to use as allegories of abusers/victims because the relationship Sire/Childe is too sick and twisted. So, again, this is a mere opinion from all what I've been reading since the game came out.

I hope Larian sticks to the narration they seem to follow with Astarion: an abuser who found a greater one, and now wants to become the next Cazador, and this woobifycation doesn't change the real potential of a dark deep story that I believe they want to give us: not every char is redeemable, and sometimes evilness is capricious. We had chars like these in bg1 and bg2 after all.