#like apart from the fact that me and online shopping are not friends

[astvrook]

洪水 | YANDERE THEMES | NI-KI.

"of course I've missed you, mum." you mumble, with the fluency of an actor. you'd even consider auditioning for a theatre major if you weren't so busy sorting out your new flat, instead of focusing on your college plans.

at home, your parents seem to have been struggling. growing up, you sometimes heard them talk about love and promise to be faithful to each other, but to you, love shouldn't be demonstrated through weekly fights that often lead to breakups or the threat of divorce, which puts everyone in the family's mental health at risk.

the only positive connection you had with your sister, but that complicity faded as you got older, as she fell into adolescence and became addicted to partying, clothes shopping and chatting with friends. meanwhile, you've moved to a new city to live on your own and continue your college studies in a new environment after applying for a transfer.

your main goal and dream is to maintain excellent grades, so you won't be forced by your parents to move back. and sure, you don't miss much about your old town. In fact, you had some friends there that you left behind, good friends who may now think you're selfish for not even saying goodbye to them, among them ni-ki.

nishimura riki, a year younger than you, came into your life thanks to his relationship with your younger sister, which began three years ago. with his sharp tongue and quick temper, he was a sweet boy who somehow impressed you and stood out among the others. over time, you became close to each other as you discovered that you shared common tastes, had a similar sense of humour and seemed to complement each other. and yet, you eventually had to walk away from him, not because of the implications of a stronger-than-usual relationship, but because of what that closeness stirred up inside of you.

more precisely, things changed between of you that night you went out to celebrate his coming of age and he tried to kiss you. while he quickly apologised for his thoughtless act and reiterated his interest in your sister, it was clear in his eyes and shyness that his feelings were not as clear as he had intended. you silently wondered why he didn't acknowledge his interest in you. and as much as you hated the situation, the suspicion that he might have been in love with you warmed your heart a little, although you felt pity for waiting for someone who wouldn't fight for you.

so you decided to move away to protect your emotional peace from people who could complicate your life.

determined not to fall in love just for the sake of appearances, a few weeks after moving to the new city, you ventured out. you felt it was the right time to have new experiences at your age, so you set up dates with people you met online and sometimes arranged them when you had time off from your university studies. you made it clear that you weren't looking for a relationship at the time, and although you felt like you were being watched in these situations, as if there was something wrong or someone judging you, you tried to convince yourself that it was just delusional paranoia.

"i'll call back later, need to hang up," you stated hurriedly, trying to say you were busy without wanting to sound rude, especially since the caller was your mum.

and, as you grab the doorknob to enter your apartment, you get the unpleasant feeling that it's damp. "yuck" you think, but you quickly head to the kitchen to start organising what you've just shopped for.

"maybe you will, or maybe you won't. i do. i know you well, (y/n)," says your mum. "and before I forget, just wanted to tell you that (your sister's name) wanted to talk to you this morning. she seems to need help with her birthday arrangements."

you scowl as you notice that the air-conditioner is not on and respond: "i'll take care of it, but it's got to be her who calls me, mom, she's got a mobile phone after all."

"she claimed to have called you, but there was no response to her messages," insists your mother.

"that's not possible…" you start to argue, but as you check your phone on the dresser to scroll through the notification bar, you notice your sister's missed messages and calls from a few days ago. "ouh…"

you notice that you've been carrying your phone with you less often lately, and you face reality and admit that you only carry it when you have an important date, and also when you want to get away from something or someone, and you realise this when you see ni-ki's messages.

"she's your sister, (y/n), you shouldn't ignore her. I don't know what happened between the two of you or what's going on, but you'll have to work it out. just remember that you're older and you shouldn't act like a spoilt girl."

the term "spoilt girl" was familiar to you, as your father used to call them that when they fought over a toy. It's so ironic.

"well… au revoir, mum," you said before hanging up.

although your mum was right that you should work on rebuilding your relationship with your sister, you were reluctant to do so in a short phone conversation of twenty minutes or fewer. plus, you're not yet ready to admit the real reason why you "broke" up with her: your mistake of falling in love with her boyfriend. so, for now, you prefer to wait for your guilt to subside before facing his advice, while you go to organise the products in the fridge.

about sixty minutes later, when you hear a notification on your mobile phone, your body goes into alert mode because it might be the girl you went out with yesterday, minji (she, with her black hair flowing gracefully down her back and a face that could touch the gods themselves, gave you a great time strolling along the seashore) and without wanting to admit it, your impatience overwhelms you, as if you were a schoolgirl eagerly awaiting another text message from her, or yearning for some sign that you're not so boring (again) that she doesn't want to go out on a second date with you.

by contrast, when you switch on your mobile phone and see a new message from ni-ki, feel like time has stopped, leaving you unable to move. although a wave of emotions overcomes the panic in your heart, your mind urges you to take a deep breath and count to a hundred. and the idea of staying calm is a distant option at the moment.

one side of your mouth is crooked, you realise, and in your mind you criticise him, silently pleading that it's not the end. but you soon realise that you look pathetic because you can't even reply to one of his messages.

so you decide to ignore him again.

(...)

just after midnight, ni-ki entered the apartment, moving cautiously as if he was afraid of waking up his girlfriend in their shared apartment, an idea that proved true for him, at least in his mental world. he moved slowly through the environment, stopping at the end to stare at the door with relief when he realised how easy it was to get in, and felt a brief moment of triumph as he savoured the sensation, which quickly gave way to the reality of being in your space.

"finally..." ni-ki spun around, letting any trace of manners fade away, rivalled only by the sound of his slippers on the floor and by the beating of his heart.

before he enters your room, he releases the handle to lift his feet, removes his slippers and places them next to the wall in a gesture that others don't consider necessary but you appreciate as a sign of good manners. and he congratulates himself because he has eliminated from his behaviour what he knows bothers you: eating with his mouth open, using the phone while eating, talking too loudly in important situations, etc. all to please you.

sure, most people fear death, but for ni-ki, the biggest fear is not being loved. ever since he saw a picture of you on your sister's phone, he has been trying to be the perfect boy. he has adopted your favourite colour, your culinary tastes, and even your film preferences. needless to say, he studied how to behave with you, wondering if one day your eyes would fall on him or you would miraculously wake up feeling perfect and wishing he were by your side forever.

your sister may have been nice at first, which ni-ki liked. however, he started the relationship mainly to fit in with his friends and to avoid being teased for being single. you and she inherited your mother's hair colour, share the same eye colour and have a strikingly similar appearance. despite this, (your sister's name) failed to awaken ni-ki's desire to dominate her, and as the days passed, her desire to end the relationship grew.

he chooses not to wait for you to wake up to speak, instead reaching into the collar of his shirt to lift the fabric over his head, and makes room for his torso to be caressed by the coolness of the room, settling with his knees on the mattress on either side of your hips.

you almost always sleep on your stomach, giving him a free hand to climb up and kiss you on your upper back.

a faint humming sound from your mouth interrupts the silence of the night.

"shh… just go back to sleep in peace."

ni-ki notices your limbs relaxing and your lips quivering, and stops abruptly. he places his hand on the side of your face, asking for support and confessing, "when i heard you left, i almost lost my mind, can you imagine? can you imagine? without you, i'm nothing."

his throat is dry and muscles are tense, as he brace for what's to come…. something bad. although ni-ki had promised to give you time to fall in love with him, promises often remain unfulfilled. and tonight, that promise will cost you dearly.

"how naïve, noona. always so selfish to bring everything of yours and not come back." ni-ki continues to speak, barely able to moving his body away from yours, his nose buried in your hair and feeling dizzy from the fragrance. "but forgetting the most important thing: of me."

LISTA MAESTRA DE ENHYPEN

[unluckilyimnot]

hi! i wanted to make a request for blue lock with hiori yo. so u know how he has like bad parents i was just thinkin what if reader has bad parents but it doesn't have to be the same situation and hiori and reader get closer because they understand eachother and can comfort eachother so its like strangers friends to lovers

Ignore this if u want but have a good day!!!

Just one day – hiori yo

Friends to lovers | 4k

m.list | rules

Note: its more a friends to lovers I’m sorry I hope it’s fine. I wanted to write longer things but I’m sure sure its really good, if some of you want to give me feedback (be kind please) bc you’re used to it I would be grateful !

Hiori checked his phone one more time, probably the fifth time since he got here. He cleared his throat, pacing around in front of the cute coffee shop he never heard about before. That wasn’t really his thing to be honest, but he thought it would be nice to change from time to time. And it was something that suits you well. Meeting with his online friends wasn’t something he usually does, but there was something about you that made him desperately want to. He never had that kind of bound before, it was all new and almost scary.

Not to mention the fact that it was time and you were nowhere to be seen. Or he thought. He has never seen you before in fact, maybe you were right at the end of the street, coming up to him, he wouldn’t even know. You mentioned your really big, cream and covered in pins bag since you said your outfit was bland, but right now he was just fighting back his urge to send you a message. You wouldn’t stand him up there, would you ?

Right when a sigh left his lips and that he was actually about to call you, a hand laid on his shoulder, making him jump in surprise. In front of him was someone shorter than him, a questioning look but still a shy smile on the lips. And a huge bag covered in pins.

“Yo ?” you asked softly, uncertain if it was really him or a random stranger – which would be really embarrassing. Even if you for sure couldn’t get it wrong after he mentioned his bright blue hair. It really reminds you of that guy in your school. Your smile drops as the realization hits you and you can tell the same for him at the slight horror in his eyes when he catches yours. That was even more embarrassing, for some reason. Neither of you expected to be talking with someone from your own school. You cleared your throat and let go on his shoulder with a confused laugh.

“I never thought it would be you…” you confessed first, trying to lighten up the mood, to not ruin your day.

“Tell me about it,” he scoffs but without sounding offended. He was surprised, for sure, but not in a bad way. You just didn’t appear to be the type to play online games based on your looks and your friends. Well, maybe he didn’t seem like a gamer himself either.

“Should we go in ?” you stutter without meaning to and suddenly all the confidence you had until then fell apart. You know it happens to you a lot, and he knows it, you two already called ; but you felt so ashamed for no reason. Yet Hiori smiled at you and nodded, opening the door for you to get in. It was him as well who started the conversation, your awkwardness making it impossible for you to talk straight at first before he guided it into a game you really liked.

Once you had your drinks and sweets with you, and that it’s been a good 10 minutes talking about what you both liked, your nervousness was far gone and for some reason Hiori felt like finding you again. Even if you were nothing like he expected he learned a long time ago to see beyond looks. You forgot about the time, and so he does, talking like he never did with someone. He doesn't have many friends in his daily life, he’s too busy for that. That’s probably why finding out you were in the same school shocked him at first, he couldn’t imagine having such a good friend in the next room. But there you were, eyes shining as you were showing him a video of a game play you liked, pondering with him if you should buy the game, asking him if he could play with you. He’s got a soft smile on his lips, nodding happily at your question.

“I got it at home, if you want to try before –” he started before cutting himself off. “Well, I don’t know how you could try though…” he added, with a resigned sigh at the end. His smile now replaced with a mix of anger and sadness. You gulped hard. He mentioned once or twice that his parents were strict with him, but you never asked much about it. You wouldn’t like people asking about your own situation, but seeing him like this made you feel so bad, you just had to.

“Is it that bad ? With your parents, I mean,” you asked, hesitant once again. “Y-You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to of course !” you clarified while waving your hands quickly, making sure he didn’t feel pressured but your voice being so loud so quickly made him blinked a few times before leaving a light giggle escaping his lips.

“Let’s say that they’re really focusing on me playing football,” he said lightly, drinking from the straw in his already empty drink. Your eyes softened and he could see the light sadness in your eyes when he looked back up at you.

“Your life doesn’t have to remain around this.”

“Well tell them that, we’ll see what they say.” Those words came dry out of his mouth, more harsh than what you deserve – he was just tired of people saying that. “They don’t even care if I get hurt, they just know that I can’t play anymore. They want me to do what they couldn’t when I never asked for it. I don’t even like football.”

There it was. He said too much and without realizing, he turned his eyes away from you out of shame. He didn’t have to ruin the mood like that, he can’t understand why he snapped like that. He never mentioned that to anyone and he had no idea how anyone could react to this. They were taking good care of him, they still let him hang around with people and play video games. He couldn't really whine about his situation. Yet knowing that they never really loved him hurt more than anything else.

“Sorry, I rarely talk about it. It’s not really legitimate–”

“Wow, that's crazy. My mother is the perfect opposite,” you said bluntly, cutting him while taking a sip of your drink. His eyes widened before looking right into you. You didn’t seem much bothered by that. “She doesn’t care about me. I have to work after school so I can go out and stuff, even just eat. She barely cooks for me so I eat outside a lot.” you paused for a bit, thinking if you should go on or not but decided that it was worth continuing.

“I know it’s not the same, but I’m sorry this happens to you. I really get it.”

Hiori couldn’t say a thing, first because he didn’t know if you’d continue or not but also because he felt bad for not realizing it sooner. You’ve already mentioned playing to forget about your days as well, but he didn’t know you and based on how you’ve always acted in school, what he always saw, he never would’ve guessed that you had to go through this. And he felt so sorry for you, for not noticing something he knew so well.

“I’m sorry I never noticed,” he muttered, now not being able to take his eyes off of you. You chuckled at his words while finishing your drink.

“We’ve never spoken, don’t be sorry. My own friends don’t know about it.. Oh your phone’s ringing.” you pointed out and Hiori sighs when he saw ‘mom’ writing on his phone screen.

“I have to go, I’m sorry. I have –”

“Practice ?” you ended his sentence, making his scoff bitter-sweetly. He nodded.

You sigh as well. “Tell me about it tonight then. You’re choosing the game.”

“Deal.”

Next day, after Hiori didn’t text you back or played with you last night, you have to think twice before approaching him. What if he didn’t want to talk ? Not to you ? It occupied your head all the way to your school, turning and returning it in your mind. You never minded it much when he didn’t answer in the evening before. But you talked about it, he could’ve told you he was tired after practice, you would’ve understood. So when you walked past him on the highway, you almost stopped in your pace. You almost waved at him with a warming smile, feeling better if he was fine, and you really wanted to ask what was up last night. But he was with his teammates, and you were with your friends and you knew you would never see the end of it if they knew you were friends with a football player.

So you didn’t stop, you looked at him only for a second and you wished you’d miss the way his hand high up a little when he saw you before awkwardly brushing something away. He’s so nice, you get along so well, you have things in common. Yet it was hard to let people around your school know.

Instead, you took out your phone and went straight to your conversation with him; asking what was up last night. You thought he would answer later, since he was with his teammates, yet the notification of his answer popped up not even a minute later.

‘Meet me at lunch ?’

That was bold, you thought but got flustered at the message anyway. Could you do that ? What will you say to your friends ? You’re always together ! Yet, without hesitation but with a confused look, you told him that yes, of course you will. Maybe something bad happened.

When the bell rang it frightened you like it never did before, from someone who happened to sleep during class. You got so anxious at the idea of lying to your friends but still couldn’t help but worry about Hiori. He’s been your online friend for months now and you kinda wish you were closer to him, it’s was time to prove it. You stood up quickly, collecting your things before throwing your bag on your shoulder.

“I have to call my mom ! That’s her day off, I’ll come back after lunch,” you stated, checking your phone to see if you’ve got any message.

“She’s still overseas ?” gasped one of your friends. That’s the lie you found years ago for people to stop asking you about her.

“Yeah, but she’s coming back soon normally ! I’ll ask her. See ya!"With that, you rushed outside and walked to the meeting point Hiori just sent you.

He looked surprised at how fast you came here but you didn’t mind, falling quickly next to him on the ground and pushing your heavy bag from your shoulder. He told you to meet him near the football field, there’s not a lot of people there during the day and with your reaction this morning, he probably understood your situation. You couldn’t tell how thankful you were, but that wasn’t the point.

“Are you okay ?” you asked with so much worry in your voice, you realized just now you were panting like crazy.

“I should be the one asking that,” joked Hiori with a light tone. Your cheeks heat up and you couldn’t help but sigh and roll your eyes before looking at him with pleading eyes. “I’m fine. Sorry I couldn’t come yesterday, they took my phone away because I was late. I just got it back this morning.”

“Poor you, the night must’ve been long,” you answer while taking out your meal and sitting properly. You know he can have trouble sleeping since you two already talked until late at night even if you had school. “Don’t worry about it though, it’s okay.”

“It seemed that you’ve worried a lot though,” he added, his head resting on his knees but still looking at you. “You never minded much before.”

“I-I didn’t know that your parents were like this before,” you justified, stammering on your words a little. You weren’t lying though, you didn’t know why you felt flustered like this with him. You never really never minded much about Hiori before – on the rare occasion you two walked past each other – but you were realizing just now how cute he can be and how soft his features are. A soft giggle could be heard but you didn’t have the time to mention it.

“You manage to leave your friends’ group?” he asked, changing the subject and starting a video on his phone. He managed to wedge it the best he could while you explained to him the little trick before catching what was on his phone. It was the next part of the let’s play you showed him yesterday. You looked him straight in the eyes, fluttering yours at him with an idiotic smile, clearly happy that he noticed and then played it without you asking. He commented a few things about the game, some tricky parts he had a hard time with and things like that – making you impatient to play it too.

But soon the bell rang again before you realized it and both of you had to go back to your classes. Rushing over your classes together, your heart racing from the small run you just had, you stopped when Hiori was about to turn around to his class. You thought about it the whole lunchtime and you finally decided to ask him.

“Maybe you could bring the game to my place so I could try it, don’t you think ?” you offer, panting a little and definitely late to class, but you needed  his answer before leaving. You can hear Hiori’s teacher calling names as if he was far away because his giggle was the only thing echoing in your mind.

“Yeah sure.” he smiled before leaving. You were late, you got straight to detention that night but without forgetting his smile for the rest of the day.

“Don’t mind the mess,” you said, walking inside your house with Hiori following your steps. It has taken some time, sneaking around to eat lunch together and a few more nights playing together rather than at your place because of how busy you two were – but you finally made it. Now there you were, sitting on your bed deciding if you should try Hiori’s game first, since you’ve been craving it for days, or just play something else the both of you were used to.

You just came back from work and the house was empty, with only you two inside and honestly, to him, it looked like you were living there alone. In the living room there was only one chair apart from the table, one dish left to dry and a bunch of unopened mail. Your mother sure wasn’t around a lot and Hiori realized how lonely you must feel most of the time. It’s not surprising for you to spend a lot of time out with your friends or inside, playing video games when you have to think about everything for yourself this young. A wave of sadness hit him even if you were looking at him, waiting for his answer when he didn’t listen to the question.

“She’s never around ?” he asked and a complicated expression formed on your face. You sat down on your bed, still the two boxes in your hands.

“She comes from time to time, stays over the night but she’s usually at her boyfriend’s place, yes. She comes to take some clothes or wash them though,” you explained a bit more, staring at the sheets.

“Why is she even keeping the house then…?”

“It belonged to my father, who died a few years ago because of his work. She inherits it but she can’t stand being there since he left, so she provides me the minimum and leaves me there. Her boyfriend hates me and doesn’t want to see me so she made her choice. You get used to it,” the fact that you smiled while telling him this, or that you shrug it off as if it was normal hurts him more than anything you could tell. You’re so resigned about it, you already know you can’t do anything about it and this broke his heart. He wished he could give you more, but how could he when he’s just hurt the same. Yet he got closer to you and wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling your head in his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his hand resting in your hair, stroking it slightly. He knows it won’t change your pain and the way you feel unlovable. That he wasn’t the one supposed to be sorry but, with him feeling just the same, he thought that simply being sorry about it at all was already good. Maybe it would ease your pain for a bit. You scoff against his skin but didn’t say anything for a while. Until your hand rested next to his leg to keep you from falling onto him started shaking and you pulled away, an awkward expression on your face but deep down, he wished you just fell on him.

“That was the worst position ever to hug someone,” you commented to light up the mood with a giggle which he copied.

“Sorry, I’ll do better next time. Shall we ?” he tagged along, taking a duo game to play and starting it before taking a seat on the floor. You lift your eyebrows

“You’re like this ?”

“Not really,” he thought, touching his chin to mimic a deep thinking moment. “I sit in my chair but I’m always alone. I’ve always wanted to play on the floor with someone.” he carried on.

“I sit on my bed though,” you grin.

“I can sit between your legs then,” he retorted, with the shit-eating grin on his lips – not failing to fluster you. You pushed his head before starting the game without him but still liked the feeling of his hair against your inner thighs.

Hiori has lost count how many times you’ve hit his head without meaning to with your controller, never hard honestly, but he’ll admit he whined a little for you to touch his hair and make sure he wasn’t hurt. He enjoyed it very much, sitting there with you, playing, talking and laughing together. It was completely different from playing online, he never thought it would be funnier – that it would make him feel better. He never wanted to leave your side, for you or himself. He was sure you never had this much fun within your own house in so long, it will hit like a brick in the head when he’ll leave.

“Aaah Yo !! we keep losing, please focus !” you whined above him, a frown on your face as you two lost once again, the same frown soon directed to him. You weren’t surprised to see that he was looking at you and not at the screen, which explains why you kept losing. A frustrated sigh left your lips. You were a bit surly, but maybe he just had enough. So with a pout on your lips, you pushed his head once again enough to make him whine because he couldn’t feel you anymore.

“You wanna change the game ?” you asked, kinda done with him, now laying flat on your back.

“You wanna ?” he retorted with a grin, making you click your tongue at him. “You can try mine if you want.” he said with a smile, getting up to change the game. You hummed, waiting while checking your phone and messages.

“It’s a bit late, is it okay for you ?”

“Yeah, it’s my day off.” He heard you mouth a small ‘wow’ at his words but he handed you the controller right after.

He took a seat next to you on your bed this time, leaning against the wall. He took a plushy lost there and kept it in his arms while watching you play. It was obviously your first time, anyone could say it ; you were really bad at it to be honest, it made him laugh more than once only for you to push or shush him over and over again. But after fifteen minutes he was done seeing you failing this bad and started staring at your back rather than the screen.

“Come, I’ll show you some moves.” he offers, pulling on your shirt a little, insisting you to come closer.

“I can do it, leave me, plus you’re having sooo much fun,” you said with sass, glaring quickly at him before coming back to your screen. He rolled his eyes and without minding munch, he grabbed you by your waist and pulled you against him, leaving you sitting between his legs. You squeal at his sudden move, never expecting him to do so and honestly shocked that he could move you so easily. Of course he’s an athlete but still ! You glared at him, cheeks hot but he grinned at you, placing his hands on top of yours.

“Look,” he muttered and proceeded to show you a few moves to help you clear this level but he could feel your body tensed against his and he thought that, maybe, he went too far with this. He could move your fingers along with his easily, it was almost too natural but every time his arm brushed past yours he felt you move away. He felt uneasy for the first time with you and he gulped hard at the thought. “You want me to let go ?” he asked with a small voice, a little too close to your ear without realizing it and it made him regret everything.

“No it’s fine,” you assured in a soft voice, “it just took me off guard.”

“Sorry,” he murmured, leaning his face into your shoulder. “I won’t do it again.”

He felt you tensed between his arms again and was about to let go when you dropped the controller on your bed, turning around quickly with a pleading gaze. “No!” you almost yelled, catching his wrist.

“I mean, you can, just, you know, you’re stronger than I thought…” you slowly stopped in your tracks, finally aware of the small distance between you two. There was only a few centimeters between you and if you moved a little closer your nose would probably brush against his. And you hesitate. For a second, you thought about it, of how it would feel to be closer to him than you already were.

But his phone rang, illuminating the room and you started to breathe again. His eyes wandered from yours, your lips and his phone and you can tell he doesn’t want to, he wants to leave it rang forever and continue whatever was going on. Yet, he ends up reaching for it and you let go of his wrist as you move away from him, never feeling so awkward in your entire life.

“Yeah, I’m leaving, yes. I saw the hour, don't worry, I was saying goodbye. See you.”

A thick silence filled the room before he got closer to you, you almost moved away when his lips found your temple. “I have to go.”

“I know.” you whispered.

“But I’ll come back, if you let me.” you chuckled at his stupid words. You were about to kiss him, why wouldn't you let him come back? So, with a smile this time, you nodded before walking him to the door. You’ll see him tomorrow anyway.

Might do another part.

Let me know if you liked it !

[linkemon]

Noctis Lucis Caelum x Reader (selship)

Selfship made for xivia___ on Wattpad.

You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here. Consider supporting me on Ko-fi. You can also check out my commissions if you’re interested. Other selfships can be found here.

↠ Noctis met you when he started going to school like most people his age. You weren't very talkative. Neither was he. Maybe that's why he liked you. Unlike his peers, you didn't take the initiative to get to know him. You just existed somewhere, minding your own business.

↠ The prince was fed up with everything that surrounds him at times. At times like this, he was holed up on the roof. One time he found you there sleeping. He got confused and tried to pull back but that's when you woke up. You got shy. You gathered your things as fast as you could and got out of there. What you didn't know was that you forgot your game. Freshly bought, still in foil.

Noctis wondered if it wouldn't be better to just leave the box where it was but eventually the urge to talk about the game won out. He had just bought it and had a lot of thoughts about the plot and gameplay strategy. So the next day he found you in the hallway and gave you back. You two had a nice conversation so he walked you to your classroom at the other end of the building. That's how your friendship started.

↠ The boy heartily hated vegetables, so he kind of understood the problems with nutrition. He was a bit of a hypocrite in that regard, however, as he would remind you from time to time to eat right, even if he couldn't do it himself.

↠ You often had gaming sessions with Noctis and later Prompto as well. Mostly online but sometimes also on the couch in my apartment. Ignis was preparing only good delicacies then. Scientia scolded the boy if he misbehaved and these visits were one of the few times he really listened and obeyed him.

↠ As a friend of the prince, you managed to visit the palace. Your first visit was quite a disaster. First you broke an ancient vase, then you got lost between the long corridors and finally you ran into King Regis. You cried out of frustration. The prince found you laughing through tears in front of his father. A man tried to make you laugh by telling a childhood story about his son and it worked out quite well.

Noctis also took you to his training that day. Partly because he had to and partly to show off to you. His pride when you completely blew Gladion off and congratulated him was immense.

↠ Neither of you have confessed your feelings to the other in a typical way. Just one time, walking around the city at sunset, you held hands. And a few days later, the moment in the park was so magical that you had your first kiss. Being a couple came out without any formalities or announcements.

↠ Your dates weren't much different from what you used to do together. Gaming, shopping and trips to the city. The difference was that you went out without the boys, who sensed quite quickly that something was up.

You hid your relationship from your three friends for quite a long time. Your relationship back then was full of little touches of the hand, quick stolen kisses and unexpected truancy in the middle of the day.

↠ The prince got used to the fact that you were always sleepy. He didn't mind letting his arm be your pillow.

↠ It was you who came up with the idea to employ you in part-time work. That's how you ended up working in a sushi restaurant for a while. Since then, you can't look at such food anymore. But you had to admit that the boy was extremely caring. When he saw you weren't up to the task, he would send you on break and take over your tasks.

↠ Noctis tended to keep his feelings deep inside. If you wanted to get to know them in depth, you had to make a lot of effort. You also often told him how proud you were of him because trying to grow up to the role of a king gave him sleepless nights.

He, on the other hand, supported you more often with deeds than with words. For example, by coming to various school competitions or dealing with some issues that cause you problems. Including people who accused you of being with him for fame or profit. He had his ways with such people.

↠ Your relationship lasted quite a long time but the closer it got to marrying Lunafreya, the more Noctis considered breaking up with you. Duty won out and not wanting to hurt you later, he parted ways with you long before he left Insomnia. Still, he kept coming back to you. He has you especially on his mind now that news has reached him of the attack on the capital...

[sumoannoy]

【𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘗𝘳𝘰 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘉𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘉𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥】

It’s a love at first sight thing

You went to a party to catch up with your old friend Kirishima, and there was the number 18 pro hero Ground Zero, staring at you like cupids bow had just shot him

You talk and laugh the whole night, his palms sweating an actually dangerous amount when he asks for your number, while you try to hide how giddy you are when putting it into his phone

From there you go on an awkward first date that’s cute in it’s own way

He opens doors for you, pulls out your chair, pays for everything, and even buys you a rose at the end of the night

A few dates later, and he’s ramping up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend. The one thing that makes him do it though is Denki trying to make a move on you (only reason he lives to tell the tale is because he did it to make him hurry tf up)

At the start of the relationship it’s all simple, unknowing touches here and there

Him shyly asking if he can hold your hand with a gruff and quiet voice, looking at you for consent before going in to kiss or hug you

He goes above and beyond to just see you, because he can’t get his head wrapped around the fact that YOU are his girlfriend - someone who made his head spin by just walking into a party

The first time he stays over he’s so unbelievably shy nobody would believe it, afraid to lean in too close and scare you off, or do something in your apartment that makes you uncomfortable or angry

He treats you like you’re above everything else on this planet, like you are worth more than anything on earth could put a price on

And then once he gets to know you a lot better, he starts buying you little things

It starts with your favorite crisps and chocolates, with little notes saying ‘you were about to run out idiot’. Then it’s things you point out when you’re together, like a ring in the window of a shop or a dress you saw someone wearing on Instagram

He’ll also do small errands for you, like getting your shopping, putting on a load of washing, doing the dishes just because he doesn’t want you to go without because your busy

And the way he tells you to start calling him Katsuki is the sweetest thing ever in the most Bakugou way possible

You’re both at his apartment, cuddled up on the couch and watching some TV show on Netflix. He’s slowly rubbing his hand up and down your arm absentmindedly, engrossed in the show, happily sitting in your company

You go to move to get a drink, and he softly pulls you down before you have a chance to get to your feet

You say “Bakugou,” to ask him to let you up, but he stops you before you can continue.

“Katsuki.”

“What? Baku—“

“It’s Katsuki.”

“…huh?”

“You’re my girlfriend, you call me Katsuki”

You sat back down and forgot why you ever needed to get up in the first place, replaying the syllables of his name in your head over and over again

When he finds out you’ve been buying his merchandise online he freaks out, and immediately brings over hundreds of unreleased plushies, hoodies, T-Shirts and even blankets

This man was so upset, in his mind it was your first big fight

You’re first big fight though was about the paparazzi

You’re out on a lunch date with him on one of his rare days off, and someone must’ve leaked where you both were

There was hundreds of them because Bakugou was quickly rising through the ranks, him now being number 7 across Japan

When you finally escaped the hoard of flashes he’s livid, and when you try to call him down he snaps at you before dropping you off home and leaving without saying goodbye

It takes 2 hours for this man to calm down and have that gnawing in his stomach before he comes knocking at your door with a bouquet of flowers

That’s the night he tells you he loves you, and never wants to be so angry he does something to hurt you again

After about a year you move in together, and he loves the domestic life you have so much it makes his heart literally burst

He had no idea how much he wanted such a quiet and sweet life until he met you

He loved making you dinner, waking you up with soft kisses, opening his lunch at work and seeing the little notes you’d leave for him, watching movies together, all of it

What he adores the most though is that late night talks

When you’re both settling down and getting ready for bed. When you both just talk about your days, and say any thought that comes to mind while delicately tracing each others skin

It’s that closeness, that trust and intimacy that makes Bakugou fall so hard he knows he can never recover

And even after being together for a year and a half he doesn’t understand how you have such a hold over his heart

He loves everything about you; your smile, your eyes, your lips, the way your hair sits even on bad hair days, the way your hands feel when he holds them - there is not a single thing about you he could ever come to hate

And that’s why on your 2 year anniversary he bought a ring.

A diamond one that you talked about at that party as a joke - one you said you’d never be able to have. It sits in the back of his dresser, wrapped up in a black velvet box and a few socks so you won’t find it

He won’t propose yet, he thinks it’s a bit too soon for you and he wants to be able to pay for every wish you have for the wedding

But he does know that he is a lucky son of a bitch, and wants to make sure he holds on to that luck for the rest of his life, if you’ll let him (spoiler alert you will)

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖!

ᔕᑌᗰOᗩᑎᑎOY (っ◔◡◔)っ

[euphoricfilter]

hii!! i saw that you take requests? i was wondering if i could get a taehyung fluff where they celebrate their birthday! my birthday is Dec 31 and since his is Dec 30th i wanted something along the lines of like celebrating together alone bc my bdays have always been shitty and this year was the same so i want all the fluff you can give me please <3 if your requests r closed then that’s totally fine!!! i also wanted to say ur an amazing writer and i luv ur content so much!!

𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦:

pairing: kim taehyung x f! reader

genre: fluff || non-idol au || best friends to lovers au

summary: it was no secret that you had never been fond of your birthday, and taehyung hated that you always seemed to celebrate alone— your birthdays won’t be the only celebration each year now that taehyung’s flower has finally bloomed.

word count: 3.6k

tags/ warnings: fluff, nothing crazy, mild birthday slander, reader is an over-thinker, he calls her baby way too many times, tearful confessions

notes: I FOOKIN FINISHED ON MY BIRTHDAY LETS GO! this is my gift to all of you, my lovely readers!!

✿ ✿ ✿

Taehyung’s feeling for you were akin to a flower.

The day the two of you met, planting the seed of his budding feelings. Where you acted as the sunlight he needed to grow; wherever you were, he would follow—growing in whichever direction you were. The first signs of his seedling pushing past the surface of the soil had been months into your friendship.

Minutes after midnight and you’d been stood at his front door, cheeks washed red from the bitter winter air, almost hunched over as you catch your breath; clearly having ran, even as the clock struck 12 and a new day began. You hadn’t wavered from your mission, silently hoping that Taehyung was still awake, because even if it technically wasn’t his birthday anymore, you refused to let the magic fizzle out just yet.

“These are for you” you’d thrusted the bouquet into his chest, pretty little white narcissuses and prickly holly wrapped up in brown paper, tied ever so delicately with a white satin ribbon, where the little red berries rivalled the colour of your cheeks. Perhaps just as round, temping enough that Taehyung had to stop himself from asking to sink his teeth into your supple looking flesh.

“I looked online and it’s your birth flower” you’d told him, standing up a little taller, a little more confident when you see his blooming smile.

“You did this for me?” he asks, bearing the brunt the frigid December cold as he pulls his door open wider, fingers gentle as they close around your wrist, tugging you into the warmth of his apartment.

You nod, hands cupping around your cheeks to try and warm your face up a little. Radiator in the hall sending waves of mellowed heat your way until you could feel the tips of your toes and fingers, nose no longer icy.

Taehyung couldn’t help but smile, and you couldn’t help but think he had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen.

Always so radiant, always so expressive, always so Taehyung, that you couldn’t help but think your efforts were worth it when he looked down at you like that. The miniscule pain of scouring the city for a flower shop willing to help you late into the night, and winds that had almost knocked you over, it didn’t matter because Taehyung was smiling at you like that. Pretty-pretty Taehyung and his pretty-pretty smile.

“Thank you” he’d laughed, “Thank you so much. How about some hot chocolate to warm you up?” he’d offered, and you’d agreed, how could you not?

The stem of Taehyung’s flower had grown fast, with every free weekend the two of you spent together, the little spark of developing love had burst into rapid flames.

Taehyung didn’t mind, revelled in the fact he felt something so raw about another person, never having felt anything like this before. He’d been unsure, fumbling over himself until he found his footing, worked out what you liked and what you didn’t. A little clumsy with his growing adoration until he sat back and realised the feelings he had for you were very real. A shadow in his mind weighing the consequences of acting on his emotions, because why would he fuck this up if he already had you? Maybe not in the exact way he wanted, but it was better than not having you in his life at all.

He wasn’t above dating, had milled around in high school, experimenting with whoever he pleased but nothing would ever be able to compare to what he had for you. An inexplainable warmth that blossomed throughout his body, where delicate vines weaved around his heart and the most beautiful flowers had started to bloom. Where the more Tae learnt about you, the faster he was falling.

He’d never been a fan of the term ‘falling in love’ something a little too melodramatic for his tastes, the very thought of falling for another person less romantic than it had been painted out to be. Because if his life were to be art, then he never wanted it to be the soppy kind, where you know the end is never good and the characters of the play seemed to always live in impending doom. Where only one will come out on top and get what they want while the rest suffer.  

He’d learnt falling didn’t have to be bad, falling—where you’re cushioned by clouds crafted with passion to break the fall. Where kisses taste sweeter and bare skin on skin felt electrifying. Where your mind bubbles over with thoughts of that person until you can’t help the smile that threatens to tug at your lips, and you want to make sure they’re stood by your side. Because as long as you were near, then that’s all he needed.

Taehyung’s favourite type of falling is when you work up the courage to look into his eyes. Always shying away from eye-contact, always a little fidgety when you notice him looking at you for longer than deemed proper for just a friend. He liked your eyes because you’d always been expressive, ever so easy to read, and ever so pretty.

Your outer beauty had only ever been a bonus to Taehyung, and if he had to compare your beauty to any of his favourite things, then surely, he would compare you to a freshly bloomed flower.

✿ ✿ ✿

It was no secret to Taehyung that you hated your birthday.

You’d always seemed to withdraw yourself from everyone the week before the big day, and he’d asked once, why you held so much disdain towards it, and you’d simply shrugged. Telling him you never understood the hype and never felt the need to make it a big event out of it. You never minded celebrating your friends’ birthdays, always going to family parties with well-thought-out gifts and a little skip in your step, but never held the same when it came to you.

“What are you doing here?” you open the door wider when you see its only him, fingers fiddling with handle out of nervous habit— and he watches as you rock back and forth on your heels. Clearly not expecting his arrival, and he would have called, if he didn’t already know you were home.

It’s a little out of character for him to show up to your apartment unannounced, knowing you preferred when he told you at least a few hours in advance that he was coming over, or he wanted to take you out. And as much as you hated the niggling habit of overthinking, it had never put him off, simply moulding his life around your needs as if they were his own.

Because as long as you were happy, so was Taehyung. Another strange side effect of being in love with someone he supposes.

“Can you come with me?” his hands fall out the pockets of his coat, corners of his lips tugging up into a soft smile.

You blink up at him, eyebrows furrowing, “Like— right now?”

“Yeah” he nods, feeble guilt itching under his skin. Like an invisible rash that he couldn’t get rid of, irritable in a way he wants to pull his hair out.

His palm lays flat against your door, pushing it open wider to let himself in. You don’t seem all that worried as you close the door behind him as he slips his shoes off, coat slung over the arm of your couch before he’s making himself comfortable, running a hand through his windswept hair.

He turns to you, “Go get ready, I’ll wait here”

“Where are we going?” you call over your shoulder as you wander into your bedroom, uncaring as you leave the door open.

“My place” he bends forward, trying to catch sight of you as you scuttle around your room. Always fascinated by the way you move, often painfully unaware of your surroundings. Though he doesn’t mind all that much, tips of his fingers tingling each time his hands fall over your shoulders or holding you by the waist has he help guide you, your hand held in his, so you won’t get lost in a crowd, or simply just for the sake of holding you. Your skin like a magnet, drawing him closer whenever he was near, your very existence fascinating to him that he can never seem to get enough.

“Huh?” you pause in the doorway, head tilting, and Taehyung can’t help the smile that stretches onto his face, fondness blossoming around his heart, “Why didn’t you just call me over then?”

“I have a surprise for you” he waves you off, watching as you nod, hesitant, but a small part of his heart swells at the fact you trust him enough to play into his plan even if he can see you itching to ask a million other questions. Questions he would be more than happy to answer, though he doesn’t push. Simply lets you stew in your own thoughts, trusting that you’ll kept your faith in him, stepping forward if you truly needed anything.

“But why?” you throw another sweater over your shoulder, “What should I wear?”

Taehyung pushes himself up off the couch, wandering towards your bedroom—more than equipped in knowing your home, often acting like it was his own.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with, baby”

You flinch, not having expected him to be there when you had turned around, “What are we doing?”

“I told you it’s a surprise” he croons, picking up the clothes strewn across the floor.

He folds them into neat piles at the end of your bed— ready for you to put away later as you continue your search for something to wear. Knowing that if he weren’t to do it, they would be left blanketing your floor until you worked up the motivation to finally clean up. At least this way he’d gotten your least favourite part out of the way.

“But what if I’m overdressed, worse, what if I’m underdressed?” you turn back to look at him, fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt as Taehyung simply stares; never one to back away from prolonged eye-contact.

“Baby, I told you to wear whatever you’re comfortable with. We’re only going to my place, nowhere else if you don’t want to” he soothes, beckoning you over with a hand. And you follow, always so good for him.

You stand between his legs, looking down at Taehyung where he sits on the edge of your bed, “No matter what you wear, you’re pretty, yeah?”

Taking your hands into his own, fingers laced, Taehyung watches as your mouth opens at the gentle contact, closing abruptly when you can’t seem to find the right words to say. Mind whirring behind your eyes, and he worries he’d pushed you too far.

Hesitantly you nod, “Okay” you whisper, swallowing thickly as his thumb runs over the back of your hand.

“Well done” he squeezes your fingers before he’s nudging you back towards your closet.

He watches as you peek over your shoulder, not very subtle as you try and match what he’s wearing.

“How about we match today?” he suggests, watching the lingering anxiety leave your body as your shoulders deflate, eyes lighting up.

“Really?” you ask, grey sweatpants already held tightly in your hands and Taehyung smiles.

“Of course, baby”

✿ ✿ ✿

“Are your eyes still closed?” Taehyung asks, as he bends down, helping you slip your shoes off.

You hum, hands falling onto his shoulders to keep balance. And he suddenly becomes hyper aware of how close the two of you are, hands gentle as he holds onto your ankle, your warm skin under his fingertips electric as his heartrate picks up.

Your hands slide down his arms when he stands at full height, fingers loosely gripping onto his wrists as he pulls you further into his apartment; careful to tug you around the toys his dog had left strewn across the floor of the living room.

Your feet sink into Taehyung’s plush carpet, pitter patter of Yeontan running into the room at the sound of your giggles, warming Taehyung’s heart. Simple domesticity of the situation maybe something Taehyung had been craving; because when he had you like this, no semi high-end dining, no unobtainable expectations from the eyes of others. Simply you and him, where the world beyond his apartment meant nothing, because it didn’t matter where he was as long as he was with you.

“Here we go” Taehyung pulls his wrists from your hands, picking Tannie up, “Open your eyes, baby”

Taehyung watches as your eyes flutter open. You blink down at his coffee table, head tilting in confusion before you’re turning to him.

“What’s all this?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed.

It hadn’t been much, nothing like he would have truly planned if he didn’t know you had what could only be described as a weird hatred towards your birthday. He’d made sure to get your favourite cake, balloons taped to the walls, all those of your favourite colour—handpicked out of each pack. You eye the platter of sandwiches, and he has to hold onto Yeontan a little tighter as the dog spots whatever other of your favourite snacks he’s picked up that morning. All laid out in little bowls, where confetti had been scattered over the table like the petals of a rose.

“It’s your birthday” he urges, smile still tugging at his lips.

You nod, “I know that but, why—” you gesture to the cake, to the small giftbox, utterly overwhelmed by what you see, and Taehyung wonders briefly if he’d rocked your brain into overdrive.

“I thought we could celebrate together, I know you don’t really like your birthday, but I thought for once I’d do something for you, like you’ve done for me”

“You did all this, for me?”

And although this isn’t his best work, nice restaurant in the middle of the city ready to be called for a late reservation if you hadn’t liked what he’d prepared for you. Wallet tucked away in the pocket of his coat just in case he took you for a walk around the park where he would buy you all the treats your heart desired until your bellies were full, sleepy on the way home; and maybe he would offer to carry you.

“Of course” he nods, letting Yeontan hop onto the couch before he’s tugging you to sit at the coffee table. Knees pressed against one another as you sit adjacent to Taehyung.  

You peek into the cake box, “Shut up, you didn’t buy one of those really pretty lunchbox cakes” your look up at Taehyung, eyes wide and he only grins. You stare at it in awe, purple iced flowers climbing the sides of the cake, blooming in shades of lavender and violet in gradient. Where fondant leaves weaved through bunches of flowers like wild vines.

“This is for you” he pushes the wrapped box across the table towards you. Brown paper tied off with a pretty white ribbon—little white daisy pin stuck in the centre of the bow.

He watches as you shake it. Fingers delicate as you pull the ribbon apart, dropped in a small pile beside the box of your cake, and he only expects you plan to save it for later. Scraps of long forgotten art supplies hidden in the depths of your closet for when you really needed it. Always a little bit of a hoarder, though you like to blame it on sentiment.  

The tips of your fingers skim over the velvety box, a deep red with little golden stars embroidered into the fabric, “What is it?”

“Open it” his back falls against the couch, fingers thrumming across his thigh, anxious of your reaction.

You lift the lid of the box, bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

“It’s so pretty” you murmur, head lifting to meet Taehyung’s gaze.

You watch him lift his hand; matching ring sat snug on his finger. Your gaze flickers down towards the ring in the box, “They’re matching?”

“Yeah”

The corners of your lips tug up into a smile, “You’re cute” you giggle, gentle as you pull the ring out of the box, sliding it onto your finger, the same one Taehyung had his on.

“You think so?” he leans forwards, eyebrows raising in question, and he watches as you swallow thickly, “Come on, don’t be shy now” his smile is lazy, a little cocky and you can’t seem to help the heat that tickles your cheeks red.

He watches you debate whether to stay silent or not, “Yes” you breathe, tongue slipping past your lips to wet them.

“Yes what?” he urges, revelling in the way you fidget in your spot—fingers itching to pull you closer into him, moulding the two of you into one being until he doesn’t know where you end, and he starts.

“I think you’re cute”

“I think you’re cute too” he smiles, deft fingers tucking his hair behind his ear.

“You what?” you splutter, “That’s not funny, Tae”

“It wasn’t meant to be” you watch as he sits up straight, careful as he takes your hands into his own, “Why would you think I’d joke about that?”

His eyebrows crease as you let out a long sigh, “Because well, you’re—you’re you and I’m just me”

“There’s nothing wrong with you” he shakes his head.

“I’m not perfect like you, Tae” you try to pull your hands from his, no real force behind the gesture, fingers barely slipping from his grasp.

“I’m not perfect” he laughs, leaning forwards like he wanted to tell you a secret, “You are though”

You blink, “I’m not” he watches as tears glaze over your eyes.

“Come on, baby, why’re you crying” he coos, gentle as he pushes your hair out of your face.

“Because I really like you, and I feel stupid” you admit, one hand still held in Taehyung’s as the other comes to wipe your face of the tears that cascade down your cheeks.

“I really like you too” Taehyung stands, manoeuvring his way around the table, falling to his knees beside you.

“No—not that kind of like. I like like you” you cover your face with your hands.

“Hey” he calls, “listen to me”

You snivel, daring peek out from behind your hands, a new wave of fresh tears glazing your cheeks shiny as he smiles, always so soft, always so reassuring.

“I like like you too, my baby” he laughs, barely there, but the puff of breath deflates his chest, “Haven’t I made it obvious enough?”

You shake your head, “Now I feel really stupid” you cry.

“No no no” he shakes his head, cupping your cheeks, “I clearly didn’t realise either”

You hiccup, “I’m sorry”

“What for?” his eyes flit between your own.

You frown, “Crying”

“Don’t apologize for that” his eyebrows crease, fond smile pulling at the corners of his lips, “Can I kiss you?”

He watches as your eyes widen a fraction, “Yes”

His thumb brushes away a lone tear when you close your eyes, watching as a sliver of peace washes over your face. And he understands, of course he does. All the built-up tension, nights of wondering if your feelings were to ever be reciprocated, if this budding love was one sided, if it could be more than friendship—all that doubt had evaporated. Exasperated whispers of how this would never work out, suddenly silent, mind and heart free. Pure unadulterated love soaring the skies like a dove let out of a cage with no plan of ever returning, the feeling of freedom, the freedom to love you, too addicting.  

Taehyung feels you smile into the kiss as his lips press against your own. Ever so soft, neither of you rushing.

Your arms slink around his shoulders, pulling his body closer to you as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Your lips part, gentle gasp dripping off your tongue, tacky and sweet as his hands skim down your body, pulling you in between his legs.

Albeit reluctant, Taehyung pulls away, chest heaving for air as his heart hammers against his ribcage. Your fingers skim over your bottom lip.

“One more” you whisper, hands falling from Taehyung’s shoulders to cup his cheeks like he had your own.

“Okay” he nods, hands still firmly holding onto your hips as you press your chests together, head tilting. Your thumb brushes over his jaw when your lips meet, both a little surer, a little more confident in yourselves, Taehyung teasing as his tongue prods the seam of your lips.

You grant him access, embarrassed whine following a moan as his tongue slips into your mouth—any qualms about you not sharing his feelings bubbling into a fizzy confidence.

“Does this mean you’ll say yes to being my girlfriend?” he smiles down at you, lips a little kiss swollen and shiny.

“If that’s okay with you” you nod, eyes falling onto the ring on his finger, your own glinting in the light of the setting sun that spills through the window.

Taehyung’s feelings for you were akin to a flower.

A flower that had been in the budding stage for years, love disguised as vibrance, hidden away from your eyes as to not scare you away, attracting you like a bee only hoping you’d be happy with that he had to offer. A flower that was now in bloom, because really what it was missing was you. Just wholly you who adores Taehyung as much as he does you. Two flowers blooming in the same flower field where your stems intertwine, growth from here on out together rather than alone. Because even if your petals were the same as the rest of the flowers that grew around you, what you had was special; something none of the other flowers had—each other.  

“Guess this means we have a reason to celebrate your birthday every year” he leans forward, soft kiss pressed to your forehead.

🌱 feedback is always appreciated <3 and thank you for reading!

permanent tag list: @m1sss1mp @supernoonanyc

[practicingsmut]

Saturday

gamer!jisung x reader, 2.6k words, spot the sequel bait

Saturdays were supposed to be your lazy days, the kind where you stay in your pajamas all day, eat leftovers for lunch and take out for dinner, and do nothing more mentally or emotionally taxing than play video games with your online friends.

This Saturday was different.

Sana, your childhood best friend and roommate, decided that she wanted to throw a party to celebrate the advent of summer. Of course, she had never thrown a party before despite having gone to so many, so your help was enlisted to make sure everything ran smoothly.

“I only invited, like, ten people, and each of them is only going to bring one or two of their friends,” she explained as she loaded bag after bag of chips into the shopping cart. You looked at her, eyebrows raised.

“Sana, you do realized that adds up to around thirty people coming over, right? Where are they all going to fit?”

“Our living room and kitchen are big enough to hang out in. Plus we’ve got the balcony!” She pulled the cart further down the aisle towards the pretzels, causing you to stumble as you had been leaning on it.

“What about the fact that we only have one bathroom?”

At this comment she paused. “Well, we’ll just hope for the best with that.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “This is going to be an expensive trip. We haven’t even grabbed any alcohol yet, plus you said you wanted to get some pizzas.”

“Mina said she’s gonna stand at the door and collect $10 from everyone as they walk in,” Sana explained. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to pay.”

“Gee, thanks.”

The rest of the morning and much of the afternoon passed in a blur as you helped her set everything up. At one point you recieved a plethora of Discord pings, your usual gaming friends SpearB, CB97, and J.ONE wondering where you were. You merely responded that you were busy, resolving to tell them all about the horrors of throwing a party later.

Then the guests began arriving. You knew a few of Sana’s friends - Mina, who did as promised and collected the entry fee from everyone, as well as a couple of others like Nayeon and Jeongyeon. For every person you recognized, however, there were at least three you didn’t. You were pretty certain more than thirty people showed up, but that was none of your business.

You hung back in the kitchen where only a bit of the party spilled over. Most of the people were only there to grab a second, third, or fourth drink from the coolers set up on the counter. You were still on your first, some cheap cider that you weren’t quite fond of, but it was better than the other stuff Sana had bought.

“Excuse me, can I grab a drink from behind you?” A voice pulled you from your thoughts. A familiar voice. You looked at the guy who had spoken to you as you shifted out of his way.

He was taller than you, though not by more than two or three inches. His messy hair was dyed a blueish grey and he had the kind of cheeks that grandmothers would love to pinch as they told their grandkids how much they’d grown. You’d never seen him before, and yet you knew that voice…

“J.ONE?” you said, voice raising as if it were a question though you knew with 99% certainty who you were talking to.

“Do I… know you?” he asked back, clearly confused.

“Of course you know me, I kicked your ass in TFT just last night,” you scoffed. Realization dawned on his face.

“Hiraeth? Oh my god, what are you doing here?” He called you by your gamertag the same way you did with him. You suddenly realized that despite knowing him for two years, you never exchanged your real names.

You told him what to call you before explaining that this was your apartment.

“This is your party?” He was right to be skeptical; if you were the kind of person who threw parties, chances were that you wouldn’t be online with him and your other friends every weekend and most of the weekdays, too. “I’m Jisung, by the way.”

“It’s my roommate’s party, technically. I’ve been helping her prep for it all day, which is why I couldn’t get on to play earlier.”

Jisung nodded. “That’s fair. My friend Hyunjin invited me to tag along, and since we didn’t have the full crew to do anything tonight I figured why not? Kinda regretting it though, since parties are totally not my scene. Though I did get to meet you in person, so that’s pretty cool.”

“Wanna take a break from this? We can go do something back in my room,” you offered. Jisung accepted gratefully.

Your room was what you liked to call an ‘organized mess’. Sure, there were piles of clothes all over the ground, but you knew which ones were clean and which ones needed to be washed, and there were only two empty cups on your desk. Jisung stepped into the room as you locked the door behind the two of you. The last thing you wanted was for a couple of drunk party goers to think they could use your room to hook up. It also provided you with a mental barrier, letting you pretend there was nothing going on outside of this space.

“You don’t have a bedframe,” Jisung commented. You followed his gaze over to where your mattress was on the ground.

“Yeah, my old one broke a few weeks ago when I threw myself onto it too hard, and I just haven’t gotten around to replacing it,” you explained.

“Right. Well, at least you’ve got a nice battlestation. Why don’t we boot something up?” He immediately made himself at home in your gaming chair, pulling up your library of games.

“Let me see if I can snag a chair from the living room.” Jisung caught your wrist as you went to move past.

“Oh, don’t bother. You can just sit on my lap. Probably more comfortable than those wooden things you’ve got out there.”

“If you insist,” you said with a chuckle.

Jisung was right - his lap was much more careful than the chairs you and Sana had pulled off the side of the road to furnish your apartment. Almost too comfortable, you thought as you settled against him so that his chest was flush with your back. You found it odd to be so comfortable with him so quickly. You had been friends for a couple of years, but this was still the first time you had met in person.

“Yo, is this that game that SpearB was talking about the other day? How’d you get early access?” The game in question was some experimental horror game that had originally been an indie project before being bought and redeveloped by a bigger company.

“Honestly, they just emailed me and asked if I wanted the early access in exchange for giving feedback. I guess they saw how many hours I have on their other titles and figured I’d be their target audience.”

“That is so cool.”

“You wanna play? You can start a fresh save. I’ve already got a couple hours on it so you won’t have to worry about spoiling me on the content.”

Jisung did not have to be told twice. A minute later his arms were wrapped around you in order to reach the controller, his head propped up on your shoulder. It would have been a cute, intimate moment if not for the fact that he was so engrossed in the game that he didn’t even seem to realize the two of you were technically cuddling.

You, on the other hand, were more than aware, especially thanks to the growing erection you could feel against your tailbone. It had to have been a reflex caused by the friction of how you were sitting, nothing more, but it still sent your mind racing. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined what it’d be like to fool around with a few of your online friends, mostly Jisung thanks to his smooth honey-like voice, and now that you’ve seen just how attractive he was, well, there was nothing stopping you from pulling him over to your bed and fucking him right then and there.

Nothing except the video game, of course.

“Shit,” he cursed as he died again. The harshness of the sound and the way his breath caressed the shell of your ear sent a shiver down your spine.

“You want me to do this boss? It’s like, weirdly hard despite being the first one in the game. It took me like six tries to finally kill the thing,” you offered.

Jisung handed you the controller, his hands hovering in the air for a moment as he tried to figure out where to put them when your chair didn’t have armrests. You gently guided them to rest on your thighs and Jisung swallowed hard.

“This is what you gotta do…” you proceeded to walk him through the combos that you discovered worked best against the boss and in no time at all, you beat him. You looked over your shoulder at Jisung, waiting for him to react.

“Would it be out of place for me to say that it’s really fucking hot watching you kick ass at this game?” His voice was a little unsteady, and you figured it had something to do with the throbbing erection that still poked at your backside.

“Only if you don’t do anything about it,” you retorted.

A moment later you were shifted to be sitting perpendicular to Jisung so that he could get his mouth on yours, the lingering taste of the cheap beer flavoring the kiss. One hand ran gently up your spine and came to rest on the back of your neck while the other gripped your hip as if he were holding on for dear life. You smiled at the thought that you had riled him up so much.

Unable to hold yourself back any longer, you pushed his hand from your hip to your crotch, sliding it underneath the waistband of your leggings and hoping he’d get the hint. He hesitated briefly before pushing past your underwear as well until his fingertips came into contact with your already dripping cunt. You both moaned at the contact.

“Glad I’m not the only one insanely turned on right now.”

Your mouths stayed glued together the entire time as he pumped first one finger and then two in and out of your hole. He wasn’t able to pull out very far thanks to the restriction of your underwear, but that just meant he was incentivized to push his long fingers further in, making you whimper as they brushed against your g-spot. Then his thumb found your clit and you were cumming hard. Jisung slipped his fingers out of your pants as you came down from your high and popped his sticky fingers in his mouth.

“I’ve got condoms in the drawer of my nightstand,” you breathed out, chest heaving from the effort of your climax.

Without responding, Jisung stood with you in his arms and crossed the room to your bed. He placed you down gently, leaving you to strip yourself of your clothes while he did the same with his own. Your hand immediately found his cock as soon as it was free, pumping it a few times while he went in search of the condoms you mentioned.

“There’s, uh… there’s a lot more in here than just condoms,” he said, blushing at the contents of the drawer.

You rolled your eyes. “So I’ve got a few toys, big deal. Now, are you going to come down here and fuck me or am I going to have to use one of them while you watch?”

Jisung’s cock twitched in your hand. “We might have to circle back to that idea later,” he admitted.

You laid back on the bed as Jisung rolled the condom down his length and positioned himself at your entrance. His tip poked you a few times, but he didn’t move to go any further.

“Is something wrong?” you asked, reaching up to take his face in your hand and turn it so he was looking at you. A nervous blush crept across his cheeks.

“Um… would you mind being on top? At least for now. I think I’d feel more comfortable with that.”

Of course you wouldn’t deny his request. As he settled back where you had been laying, you reminded him that he could tell you to stop at any point. He made sure you knew the same applied to you.

Jisung’s cock was like his fingers - long and slim and hitting you in all the right places. From his place lying back he grabbed at your tits as you rode him, fingers grazing your nipples before they were out of reach again.

“Sit up,” you gasped. You wanted to kiss him when he did so, but his movement caused the angle of how he was inside you and you had to adjust to that first. Jisung whispered in your ear, though what he said was lost completely as your mind focused on the reverberation of his voice. It had your slick pooling out of you.

“Fuck, I’m close,” he growled as you clenched around him. “Can I flip us over?”

“Be my guest.” You weren’t even sure if your words came out the way they were supposed to, but Jisung got the message.

As soon as you were on your back he was thrusting harder and faster than you had been able to move when you were on top. You instructed Jisung to open his mouth and though he was confused, he did as you asked. His eyes widened as you slipped two fingers in to wet them with his spit before sliding them down your body to rub harsh circles on your clit.

It was the squeezing that resulted from your orgasm that finally sent Jisung over the edge. You felt the warmth of his cum even through the condom and it made you wonder what it would feel like spilling down the back of your throat. You were about to ask what he thought about round two when he interrupted you.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“What?” It was just about the only thing he could have said that would have shocked you as much as it did.

Jisung peeled himself off of you and moved to dispose of the used condom. “It’s just that, well, I’ve been saying for the better part of a year that if I ever met you in person that I’d ask you. I just never imagined the question would come after we did.”

You chuckled at his joke. “And what will the boys think of us dating?”

“Honestly? They’d say it’s about fucking time. I’ve been pining over you for ages and they’ve made it clear that they’d much rather deal with the two of us doing mushy couple things than hear me sigh wistfully after you leave the voice call again.”

“You’re such a dweeb,” you said with a smile, pulling him down for a kiss. “Luckily for you, dweebs are just my type.”

“Is that a yes?” he asked. You nodded and pressed closer to him, deepening the kiss. The two of you were now kneeling, you on the mattress and him on the floor, limbs tangling around each other.

“Why don’t you hop on now to tell them the great news? It is a Saturday night so chances are they’re on. It’ll be really funny for you to pop into chat under my name.”

“Hmm, I think it can wait a bit. I think my naked girlfriend deserves my attention more than they do.”

“What if I suck your dick from underneath the desk while you do it?”

[totowlff]

chapter thirteen — midas’ touch

➝ this is the first time cassie has traveled to vienna. it's also the first time she's announced that she's pregnant to her child's co-parent's family. what can go wrong?

➝ word count: 5,2k

➝ warnings: mentions of child neglect and (probably) wrong austrian german

➝ author’s note: probably the funniest chapter me and ally wrote. i recommend reading with a translator close. btw, happy mother’s day to everyone, and, if you are like cassie, i send you all my love.

13 WEEKS

Your baby is about the size of a peach and has vocal cords, teeth and even fingerprints. You might actually be able to get through the day without nausea or feeling the need to nap.

Cassie was staring out the window of the car as Toto cruised through the streets of Vienna. She was enchanted as she watched the landscape. It was a perfect day. The sun was shining, with not a cloud in the sky. She hadn’t ever been to Vienna, but seeing it for the first time was breathtaking — even better than the pictures she’d seen online.

Just the drive from the airport had her completely in love with the city already. The tree-lined streets and the elegant old buildings made the city look like something from a storybook.

— You seem to like it here — a familiar voice said to Cassie’s left. Cassie turned her head to see Toto glancing at her with a smile before he turned his attention back to the road in front of him.

— It’s so nice — she replied, a shy smile on her face — Beautiful. Very different from the UK.

— By that, I assume you mean that it’s sunnier?

Cassie laughed.

— A bit, but we have some sunny days, too.

— Is there? I can’t remember the last one — he replied, laughing.

Cassie giggled and shook her head, looking back out the window. They were driving through some sort of shopping district, and she watched people walking down the sidewalk. There were a lot of parents, some pushing strollers, some walking hand-in-hand with their children, who were mostly wearing small backpacks. Cassie figured they were leaving school. A few months ago, seeing parents with their kids made her sad, but now, seeing it filled her with hope. After all, it would be her turn soon enough.

She placed a hand on her stomach and stroked the fabric of her black shirt with her thumb. She hadn’t started showing yet, and it meant that she was still having a hard time getting used to the idea of actually being pregnant. However, she was reminded of it every morning, when “the little brat”, as Cassie put it, announced its presence by making her take a trip to the toilet every morning, but it was worth it. 

— Where is your apartment? — she asked, as Toto crossed a bridge over the Danube.

— It's in the Innere Stadt. It’s at the center of the city, and where a lot of the historic buildings and important landmarks are.

— Does your sister live there too?

— No, Liliana lives in Rossau, a neighborhood further north. It's close to where I went to school.

— That’s where we’re going tonight, right?

— Yes — Toto replied, stopping at a traffic light — We're going to have dinner at her house with her, her husband, their three children, and my mother.

Cassie hesitated for a few seconds.

— Are we going to tell your family about the baby? — she questioned.

— Yes, Cassie.

— But…what are we going to say?

— What do you mean?

— How are we going to explain… Our situation?

Toto sighed.

— Well, we have two options — he said — We can tell the truth, that we are friends, that we decided to have a child together, and that he or she will be born at the end of this year. Or we could say we got drunk, had sex without protection, and had a surprise a few weeks later.

Cassie clenched her jaw. The second scenario was pretty close to reality — they had sex without protection and had a surprise a few weeks later. It wasn’t as if it was unwelcome or unexpected, but Cassie never imagined fulfilling their plan in that particular way. Despite all of the passion of that night, and the fact that both of them enjoyed themselves, they agreed that it couldn’t happen again, even though Cassie secretly wanted it to. 

— Which option do you think is preferable?

— Personally? I think the truth is always better. My sister knows we were going through an IVF process, so I think she’d be surprised if we told her the second option happened.

She looked at him, her eyes going wide.

— You told your sister?

— I told her that I had decided to become a father and that I would be going through an IVF process with someone that I trust a lot. 

— And… What did she say?

Toto hesitated for a few seconds.

— Well, she asked a lot of questions about whether I was really committed to having a child with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with, and she asked a few questions about you. That’s all.

— That’s all? She didn't say anything else?

— No. Liliana knows that no matter what she or my mother says, it wouldn’t matter. She knows I don’t do things unless I’m completely sure about them.

Cassie swallowed hard. The idea of meeting Toto's family had always loomed in the back of her mind. It felt a bit daunting, especially considering that she was joining his family in an unconventional way. However, the situation seemed even more complex considering that he had only told his sister that they were having a child. 

And now, she was going to be meeting the entire family all at once, where they would be announcing that not only had they decided to have a baby together, but that baby was now on the way. Cassie felt her stomach lurch.

— Will… I, at least, be able to talk to any of them?

— Yeah, Lili, her husband, and the kids all speak English.

— What about… your mother?

— Only if you know any Polish or German.

“Wonderful, another problem”, she thought. She would spend the entire night depending on Toto to communicate with his mother. Her apprehension must have been plain on her face, because Toto took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

— Cassandra, don't worry — Toto said softly — It's going to be alright. They’re going to love you.

Staring at their joined hands, she felt the butterflies in her stomach grow.

— I hope so, Toto. I hope so.

He let go of her hand to shift gears, and then pointed to something on his left. It was an old brick building, with an archway decorated in some sort of mural.

— See that image of the woman, with the gold background?

— Yes.

— That's Minervabrunnen, a fountain dedicated to the Roman goddess Minerva, or…

— Athena — Cassie answered, smiling.

— Exactly.

— Can we go see it before we go back to the UK?

— Of course — he smiled. They drove for a few more minutes toward the apartment Toto stayed in while he was visiting Vienna. He turned right down a narrow street, and they passed some stores and cafes, sidewalks filled with people drinking coffees at tables with red umbrellas. They also passed an Australian-themed bar that reminded Cassie of Daniel Ricciardo. Finally, Toto turned into the entrance of an underground parking garage, finding a spot close to the elevator. 

— We're here — he smiled.

They got out of the car and took their luggage out of the trunk. Toto insisted on carrying everything, even Cassie’s backpack with her laptop. She protested, telling him that she was just pregnant, not sick, and her backpack didn’t weigh much anyway, but it didn’t matter as Toto insisted. 

They rode the elevator up to the street level and crossed a crosswalk into an elegant apartment building. The lobby was elegantly decorated, with a white marble floor. As they passed through to the elevator, Toto greeted the woman at the reception desk in German, and she returned a smile. Cassie stuck to a nod, unsure of how to say “good afternoon” in German. 

As they stood in the elevator, they glanced at each other, a little shyly. It felt to Cassie like they were doing something they shouldn’t, not just arriving at Toto’s apartment. The elevator arrived at Toto’s floor, and Cassie followed him to his door. He unlocked it and stepped inside, gesturing for Cassie to step inside. 

As she stepped inside, Cassie looked around. The apartment was spacious and well lit, with white walls and furniture. It was minimalist, with simple, clean lines. Most of the furniture was dark, with splashes of color from the large sofa and a few houseplants in simple pots. It was gorgeous, but felt a little cold and impersonal, like a hotel room or an apartment from an architectural photoshoot in a magazine. 

— What do you think?

— Honestly? It’s too big.

Toto raised an eyebrow.

— You think so?

— Considering you barely spend any time here, it seems like a waste of money to have such a big place that you’re only in a few times a year.

He gave her a little smile, dropping the bags at the entrance to the apartment.

— The funny thing is, I downsized when I moved to Oxfordshire. I sold my old place, but staying in hotels when I came back home to visit was kind of strange, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have a place in Vienna, too. Plus, my plan is to spend more time here once the baby is born.

Cassie raised an eyebrow.

— You told the lawyer you don’t intend to move.

— And I don't. But I think my family will want to be able to spend time with our little one — he replied, resting his hand on her belly. She never failed to get the most delightful little chills whenever he touched her like that — And we need a place to stay when we visit.

— Are you including me in that 'we’?

— Only if you want — he smiled — Come on, I'll show you to your room.

Toto showed Cassie to one of the bedrooms in the apartment, which was also very minimalist and impersonal. “At least the bed is comfortable”, she thought, as she sat down on the mattress, while he dropped her suitcases in a corner of the room. She hadn't brought much, she wasn’t going to be there long. They would be heading back to the UK after the race on Sunday.

— I'm going to make myself some coffee, do you want something?

She shook her head.

— No thank you, I think I'll just get some rest.

— No problem. If you need me, I'll be in the living room. Make yourself comfortable.

— Thanks — Cassie replied, a shy smile on her lips.

Toto smiled back at her and closed the door. Cassie let herself collapse onto the bed, letting out a sigh. Staring at the ceiling, Her mind began to travel, imagining the most different scenarios that could happen later than evening when she met his family, and each was more catastrophic than the last. 

It would be a difficult night, to say the least.

A few hours later, they were standing in front of the door of his sister’s apartment, waiting for someone to answer. Cassie had chosen a light, summery sky-blue cotton dress with a floral print. At first, she wasn’t sure how it looked on her, even though she’d chosen it specifically because it would hide her belly, as small as it was. She changed her mind about it as soon as she saw the look on Toto’s face when she stepped into the living room. If his reaction was anything to go by, she must have looked stunning.

Cassie was pulled out of her thoughts when the door opened, revealing a small boy with light hair and dark eyes. He smiled at them as he pulled the door open.

— Gute Nacht, Onkel! Wie geht’s?

— Gute Nacht, Oskar, mir geht es gut und dir? — Toto replied, hugging the boy warmly — Du bist sehr gewachsen, seit ich dich das letzte Mal im Winter gesehen habe.

— Mir geht es gut. Mama denkt, dass ich nächstes Jahr so ​​groß wie Erik sein werde — Oskar said, smiling. The little crinkle at the top of his nose made Cassie smile. They were similar to Toto's.

— Oskar, this is Cassie, my friend — he said, finally including her in the conversation — Cassie, this is Oskar, one of my nephews.

She reached out to shake the boy's hand.

— Nice to meet you, Oskar.

— Nice to meet you too, Cassie — the boy said, in English — Come in.

Liliana's family's apartment was also large, but it felt much cozier than Toto's, as if it were actually inhabited by a large family. There were pictures on the walls, shoes in the foyer, and the smell of something delicious cooking. It was nicely decorated, but still felt lived-in. It reminded her a bit of Stansted House, her childhood home.

It was where she grew up, where she was when she wasn’t away at school. She could still picture it clearly in her mind’s eye, even though she hadn’t been there in years. The walls were covered in paintings, most of them old portraits of ancestors she never bothered learning the names of. In the few happy moments of her childhood, she remembered playing games with her siblings in their playroom, the smell of fresh biscuits being baked by one of the housekeepers, and romping around the back garden with her sister, picking flowers and looking for frogs in the nearby pond.

They stepped inside and took their shoes off, and Oskar led them into the living room, where two other boys were sitting on the couch beside an older woman, and a middle-aged man sitting in a nearby armchair. As Toto stepped into the living room, the two boys jumped off the couch and ran into their uncle’s outstretched arms.

— Onkel! Du kamst! — they repeated, as they embraced him.

— Natürlich bin ich gekommen, habe ich nicht gesagt, dass ich es tun würde?

They laughed together, and Cassie could feel her heart fluttering as she watched Toto interact with his nephews. Then, she noticed that the older woman stood up with a smile on her face. She was wearing a flowy, long cotton dress, and her long gray hair was tied into an elegant bun at the base of her neck. “This must be his mother”, Cassie thought, as the woman approached Toto.

— Gute Nacht mein Sohn. Wie schön, dich wiederzusehen! — she said, before planting a kiss on his cheek — Wie geht’s?

— Mir geht es gut, Mama, ich arbeite hart.

— Ich kann es in deinem Gesicht sehen, meine Liebe. Sie brauchen diesen Sommer einen guten Urlaub — the woman said, reaching up to pinch Toto's cheek lightly. 

— Kein Grund zur Sorge Mama, mir geht es gut — he said. 

The woman turned to Cassie and shook her hand as she said something in German.

— Cassie, this is my mother, Joanna. — Toto said. He was distracted after a moment, though, as he turned to shake hands with the man who had also come forward to greet him. "And that must be Liliana's husband", Cassie thought. 

— Guten abend, Franz.

As he greeted his brother-in-law, his sister appeared in the room, giving him a warm hug and kissing his cheek. The sight of them all together, smiling and hugging each other, made Cassie feel thrilled, but a bit sad, in a way. She had always wanted a loving family, one that would be happy to see her make a visit back home, one that treated her like someone worthy of affection and respect. When she was a child, she always imagined her parents hugging her and kissing her when she came home between school terms, telling her how much they loved her and missed her while she was gone. 

But, she never heard it, and knew she never would.

They weren’t overly affectionate or attentive as parents to any of their children, but Cassie was treated far differently than her siblings, however, and it had only gotten worse as she grew up. By the time she finished year 9, they treated her like an uninvited guest whenever she came home on the school holidays, and she usually opted to spend most of her time at Sybil’s house instead. 

Her own childhood was filled with trauma and neglect, and she was resolved to not let her own child know what that felt like. She was determined to make sure her child knew that Cassie loved them more than anything, and would do anything to make them feel that love every day. Her child would never have to run away to an aunt’s house to spend Christmas with someone who looked at her with an expression other than contempt. They would be happy. 

— Nun, da Sie alle hier sind, möchte ich Ihnen jemanden vorstellen — Toto said — Das ist Cassandra, oder besser Cassie.

Cassie noticed that the entire family was looking at her with a certain curiosity. Unsure of what else to do, she held up her hand and shyly waved. 

— Hello — she said, her voice quiet.

— Ist sie deine Freundin, Onkel? — the smaller boy, who she assumed was Bjorn, asked, making everyone laugh and Toto blush a little.

— Nein, sie ist nicht meine Freundin. Sie ist eine großartige Freundin von mir. Eine Person, der ich sehr vertraue.

Franz was the first to step forward and give her a generous handshake.

— Schön dich kennenzulernen, Cassie — he said.

— Sie spricht kein Deutsch, Franz.

— Oh, I’m sorry. Nice to meet you, Cassie. I'm Franz, I’m Liliana’s husband.

— Nice to meet you too.

Toto's nephews greeted her, and Joanna commented, through Toto, that Cassie was a beautiful woman. Finally, Liliana approached. Her expression was serious.

— Nice to meet you, Cassie — she said, in a strange, rather cold tone — Toto has told me a lot about you.

After the proper introductions were made, Liliana beckoned everyone to the dining table. Toto had asked her not to serve anything fancy, but the meal looked delicious. She prepared what Toto said was Schweinsbraten, some sort of pork roast with gravy and carrots. There were also potato dumplings, rolls, and some sort of red cabbage slaw. 

The food was incredible. It almost reminded Cassie of a Sunday roast dinner. As they ate, Toto’s mother asked Cassie questions about herself, with Toto serving as a translator. However, the mood at the table completely changed when she asked a specific question.

— Toto, Liebling, frag Cassie, ob sie Kinder hat.

Toto looked at Cassie, a flash of nervousness coming to his face before he looked back at his mother..

— Nun, zu diesem Thema, Mama — he began, setting his cutlery on his plate — Ich bin gekommen, um mit Ihnen allen, genauer gesagt mit Ihnen, darüber zu sprechen.

— Über Kinder?

— Ja — he replied, taking a deep breath — Ich habe Cassie zu Ihnen gebracht, weil wir nicht nur gute Freunde sind, sondern uns gemeinsam entschlossen haben, uns den Traum zu erfüllen, Eltern zu werden.

— Aber wie?

— Wir beschlossen, zusammenzukommen und ein Kind als Freunde zu bekommen. Wir werden ihn zusammen großziehen, aber ohne romantische Beteiligung.

— Und wie willst du ein Kind haben — Joanna said, glancing at her three grandchildren. None of the boys seemed to be interested in their food at the moment — Ohne romantische Beteiligung?

— Künstliche Befruchtung — Liliana muttered. Her mother looked at her, shocked.

— Warte, lass mich das klarstellen, Torger — Joanna said. Her voice sounded irritated — Willst du mir nur sagen, dass du eines Tages aufgewacht bist, beschlossen hast, Vater zu werden, deine Freundin gefragt hast, ob sie es akzeptieren würde, und das war's? Wirst du so ein Kind haben, ohne Beteiligung, ohne Zuneigung, nicht einmal Sex?

— Papa, was ist Sex? — she heard Bjorn ask Franz, who shushed him.

— So war es nicht, Mama. Es war eine Entscheidung, die nach langem Nachdenken von beiden Seiten und mit großer Reife und Ruhe getroffen wurde — Toto replied.

— Du musst verrückt geworden sein — Joanna muttered, shaking her head.

— An welchem ​​Punkt befinden Sie sich in der Behandlung? — Liliana asked. The look on her face was stern and serious. Toto looked at her for a few seconds, in silence. It was all it took for her to put her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide — Du…

— Ich bin mit Cassie hergekommen, um Ihnen zu sagen, dass wir später in diesem Jahr ein Kind erwarten.

— Was? — Joanna exclaimed, pointing at Cassie — Ist sie schwanger?

— Ja, Mama. Cassie ist schwanger — Toto said, taking Cassie's hand — Ich werde dir endlich einen Enkel schenken.

Joanna was too shocked to speak. She set her silverware down and got up without a word, turned on her heel and walked out of the dining room. Liliana was staring at her plate, also speechless. Franz, on the other hand, looked at Cassie with an expression that she knew well. It was the look Sybil always had when Cassie would show up on her doorstep, talking about one of Albert’s violent outbursts.

It was a look of pity.

Toto got up and followed his mother, calling out her name. 

Liliana then lifted her face and looked at Cassie.

— Are you really pregnant?

— Yes — she murmured.

— How far along are you?

— Around 13 weeks.

Cassie pursed her lips. In the next room, she could hear Toto's voice arguing with his mother in rapid German.

— Sie wurde durch die Behandlung nicht schwanger, Mama! Die Behandlung schlug nicht an, wir waren verärgert und schliefen miteinander. Wir haben nicht damit gerechnet, dass sie schwanger wird, aber sie wurde schwanger und wir sind glücklich, Mama.

— Das ist nicht das Problem, Torger!

— Und was ist dann los, Mama?

— Das Problem ist, dass Sie sich weigern, seit dem, was mit Julia passiert ist, eine Beziehung zu haben.

— Mama…

— Ich verstehe, dass du Julia geliebt hast und dass du gehofft hast, sie zu heiraten und Kinder mit ihr zu haben. Ich habe auch erwartet, dass ihr zusammen seid, aber es sollte nicht sein. Und jetzt haben Sie eine neue Gelegenheit, mit einer schönen, intelligenten und wirklich liebenswerten Frau glücklich zu sein, und Sie sagen mir, dass Sie ein Baby als Freunde bekommen werden?

— Mama, Julia ist Vergangenheit…

— Es scheint nicht so, wenn man bedenkt, dass Sie eine schwangere Frau mit zum Abendessen mitgebracht haben und sich einfach weigern, ihr einen Platz in Ihrem Herzen zu geben.

Nobody at the table said anything. Cassie’s heart pounding inside her chest, a knot forming in her throat.

— Cassie hat einen Platz in meinem Herzen, Mama — Toto said, in a careful tone.

— Es ist nicht der Platz, den sie verdient, und das weißt du. Ich sehe in ihren Augen, dass sie anders ist.

— Natürlich ist sie anders, sie wird die Mutter meines Kindes!

She heard Joanna give a sarcastic laugh.

— Du solltest deinen Gefühlen vertrauen und das Richtige tun, nur dieses eine Mal. Du erinnerst dich daran, was passiert ist, als du sie das letzte Mal ignoriert hast.

— Was ist passiert?

— Julia löste ihre Verlobung mit dir.

As moments passed, with nobody saying anything and the sound of the argument echoing through the apartment, Cassie started to feel suffocated.

— Mein Sohn, sei ehrlich zu dieser Frau. Sei ehrlich zu dir selbst. Geben Sie diesem Kind die Familie, die es verdient.

— Ich muss nicht in einer romantischen Beziehung sein, um eine Familie zu haben, Mama. Und ich gehe nicht nur wegen meines Sohnes in eine. Ich möchte ihn nicht unter Druck setzen.

— Es gibt keinen Druck, für einen Sohn zusammenzukommen, Torger.

— Weil du nicht weißt, wie es ist, die Einzige zu sein, die deine Eltern zusammenhält, oder, Mama? Aber ich weiß. Und Lili weiß es auch.

Whatever Toto had just said to his mother, it made Liliana quietly gasp and turn her head towards Cassie, her expression turning to shock.

— Excuse me — Cassie said, setting her napkin down and swiftly leaving the table. She ran toward the bathroom and closed the door. She leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor. After a few sniffles from trying not to cry, she could feel tears running down her cheeks.

She was tired, angry, and sad, all at once. It briefly occurred to her that the pregnancy hormones may have been causing her to feel everything so intensely, but it didn’t matter. She wanted to defend herself against whatever Toto's mother was saying about her, but she didn’t know what that was. She didn’t understand what was happening.

She put her hands on her stomach as the sound of her sniffles bounced off of the tiles. She felt like King Midas, only in reverse. Everything she touched was destroyed, even the happiest of families. She wondered why she seemingly wasn’t allowed to be happy. In that moment, she felt like she always left misery in her wake. She didn’t fit into her own family, why should she have expected to fit into this one? Why was she trying to have her own family, if she made everyone else miserable? Would she make her own child miserable, someone else to be unhappy with her?

She was so focused on ruminating over her own misery that she didn't notice the bathroom door open, or Toto sitting down in front of her, until he took her face in his hands.

— Cassandra — he said softly, running his thumbs over the tears trailing down her cheeks.

— I fucked everything up — she said — I'm a fucking disaster.

— No, Cassie, you didn’t…

— Your mother hates me, doesn't she? Your sister hates me. They hate me because I wanted to have a child and dragged you into it.

— Cassie, please…

— I didn’t come here to destroy your perfect family. I was so nervous about meeting them because of this. I destroyed my own family growing up, my dad always said that I was difficult and that I was a disappointment, and that I caused every problem they had. I didn’t mean to cause problems for you, I didn’t, I didn’t —

— My angel, look at me — Toto said, his voice still soft.

She looked up into his eyes as she tried to blink the tears out of hers. 

— It's okay. My mom doesn't hate you. Neither does my sister. They just thought the idea was a little crazy, but I explained everything. They're not mad, just… Surprised.

— They sounded… And looked angry.

— I think German can sound a bit… Aggressive if you don’t know the language. — he said, stroking her cheek gently with his thumb — It’s all of the short, rough sounds. Even saying “I love you”. 

She stared at him in silence for a few seconds. Uncertainty must have been clear on Cassie's face, because Toto pulled her into a hug, one hand sliding through her hair, stroking the back of her head in an effort to calm her down. With her head nestled in the crook of his neck, she felt strangely safe there. 

— Was ist passiert? Ist Cassie gut? — she heard a female voice ask through the door. Toto released Cassie from his embrace and opened the door. Cassie saw Liliana and Joanna standing in the doorway, looking at her with worried expressions on their faces.

— Ihr geht es gut, Mom, sie ist nur ein bisschen deprimiert wegen der ganzen Situation — Toto replied — Cassie hoffte, dass deine Reaktion nicht so negativ war.

Joanna came into the bathroom and stood in front of Cassie, placing her hands on Cassie’s shoulders. They didn’t have any languages in common with which to speak to each other, but the look on her face didn't need translation.

— Können Sie ihr sagen, dass wir nicht sauer auf sie sind? Dass wir eigentlich sehr glücklich über die Nachricht sind? Wir waren nur überrascht, das ist alles.

— My mother asked me to tell you that neither she nor Lili are mad at you, Cassie. They were surprised, but they are very happy.

Cassie looked at Joanna, who was smiling.

— Sorry for the inconvenience, Mrs. Wolff. It's just — Cassie hesitated for a few seconds — My family used to say I used to make things difficult for them, and your reaction to the news made me think I might have made things difficult for you, as well.

Toto pursed his lips before translating for Joanna, who brought her free hand to Cassie’s face.

— Du hast es nicht vermasselt, Cassie. Sie und dieses Kind sind die fehlenden Teile, um diese Familie zu vervollständigen. Und wir alle lieben euch beide jetzt schon.

— She said you didn't make things difficult, Cassie — Toto translated, the shadow of a smile on his face — That you and our child were the missing pieces of our family…

She looked at Toto, who seemed to be hesitating.

— Anything else? — Cassie asked.

— Yes. She said… We all love you both already.

Cassie smiled as her chest filled with warmth.

— Sagen Sie ihr, wir gehen ins Wohnzimmer, um mehr über all das zu reden. Ich möchte mehr über meinen Enkel erfahren.

— Come on, let's go to the living room. She said she wants to hear all about the baby — Toto said, taking Cassie's hand and leading her into the living room. 

Toto had her sit on the sofa, and Franz brought her a glass of water. She showed Joanna and Liliana the ultrasound photos on her phone and they talked excitedly about the new addition, Cassie started feeling much better. She felt more comfortable as the night went on, getting generous hugs and kisses on her cheek as she and Toto left to go back to his apartment. 

They didn’t say much to each other as they walked back in to Toto’s flat, which bothered Cassie a bit. It felt like there was a lot to discuss right now, especially after the situation at dinner, but she was glad that Joanna had warmed up to her by the time the night ended, and considered things settled for the time being.

— I’m going to go take a shower and get ready for bed — Cassie said, as they stepped into Toto’s living room. She turned to walk down the hallway

— Cassie — Toto said behind her

— Yes? — she turned, a little hesitantly. 

He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his chinos, his expression serious.

— In the bathroom, you said something that bothered me a little.

— What?

— You said you didn't want to destroy my perfect family.

Cassie looked down at her feet, swallowing hard.

— I mean, I don’t… — she murmured.

— The problem is, my family isn't perfect. In fact, we are far from perfect.

— But, you all seemed so happy together today.

— Yes, today. But it wasn't always this way, Cassie — he replied, approaching her — When I was growing up, a lot of things were difficult between my mom and I, especially after my parents' divorce and with the advance of my father's illness and it strained our relationship as mother and son a lot.

Cassie felt something tighten in her throat.

— We argued, we fought, we’d go weeks without speaking to each other. In the end, we had to figure out how to get along, because we only had each other. We've done a lot of work to get this far. 

Toto gently took Cassie’s hand.

— When I say that you will not destroy my family, it is because we are already prepared for adversity and challenges. We're strong, just like you are — Toto said, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of Cassie’s hair behind her ear — And… We all love you just the way you are. You and our child. We love you.

Cassie pursed her lips, thinking about what he was saying. She couldn't even remember the last time someone had said they loved her, but hearing Toto say it, even in such an indirect way, made her feel like her heart could explode with joy at any moment.

She knew what she wanted to say in response, but she wasn’t sure if she could manage it, so she hugged him instead.

“We love you too”, Cassie thought.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

A Grid Thanksgiving

Logan Sargeant x OC

"And that closes up this wrap up for Vegas, we'll see you all next week in Abu Dhabi," an official closes, glancing around the room for someone to take the microphone from him, Logan Sargeant of all people being the one to do so, stepping on to the stage in an unusual move.

"Uh, if the grid could stick around for just a couple minutes that'd be great," the Williams driver requests, drivers left and right sharing looks.

And they wait, the crews and principles exiting the room before Logan, now without the microphone, has everyone crowd around.

"What's up kid?" Daniel is the one to ask, one brow raised at the American driver.

"I actually was sent on a mission from the missus-"

"You have a missus?" Max asks, the idea setting in over the last few races that he may not be all that young anymore.

Logan chuckles, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck with a nod. "Yeah, I'm going to try to not take that as an insult."

"That's not what he meant," Charles corrects, waving his hand. "You just do not seem as the type to settle down young and we haven't seen any woman with you around the paddock or online."

Logan knows they're right, but that doesn't change the fact that he's tired of always experiencing these assumptions.

"Welp, for eight months now we've been married, her names Brooke, and she sent me to work today with one request."

"Which was?" Oscar questions, expecting something outside the box from the woman who somehow manages his close friend.

"If you all out be available and on location next Tuesday, we've rented a rental apartment rather than a hotel room, and she was hoping you all and your significant others may be willing to join us for Thanksgiving."

"Isn't that typically on Thursdays?" Lando asks, already knowing the answer but hoping for something more.

"It is, but with the race and everything we won't be able to make it home to be with our families, so she got her heart set on cooking a traditional thanksgiving meal for all of you," Logan explains, knowing the request may be a stretch in a lot of places. As much as they respect one another, they are also all still competitors, even if Max and Red Bull had already won. "Its just an open invite, she just really loves the concept of taking a day to appreciate what you're grateful for and keeps saying she's grateful for all of you, even though she only knows you two," He finishes explaining, gesturing to Alex and Oscar. "And none of you have to come, absolutely don't feel like you've got to."

"When will you need numbers by?" Max speaks up, giving the boy a rare grin for a competitor. "I'll have to see if Kelly and P will be traveling with me."

And Logan beams, because at the very least, at least a few drivers are considering the offer.

"Sunday or Monday, Brie isn't planning to shop for anything until Monday."

Max nods, a simple gesture to wrap up the impromptu meeting.

——————————————————————————————————

"Baby, you said to invite the grid, why are you so surprised?" Lo questions with a chuckle, making me want to throw my whisk at him/

"Because I wasn't expecting a good chunk of them to text saying yes! How does Lewis Hamilton even have my number?!"

"He asked me for it so I sent it in the driver's chat," He explains simply, taking a finished dish from my hands to the kitchen island that we set up as a buffet. "Who ended up being available?"

"Carlos, Charles and Alex, Lando, Oscar and Lily, Lewis, Max with Kelly and P, Pierre and Kika, Yuki, George and Carmen, and Alex and Lily," I list smiling brightly at how bustling this home will be in no more than half an hour. "Valterri and the Haas men texted saying they would love to come but they were going home for a beat instead of straight here," I explain, scooping the whipped topping into the bag and twisting it shut.

"Wow, half the grid, good job Baby," Lo compliments, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my temple.

"You're just lucky I didn't invite your boss just to get more baby snuggles," I can't help but jest, but he doesn't look remotely upset at the idea, smiling with a look in his eyes that I just can't place. "What's that look for?"

"You act like I wouldn't love to see you wondering around with a baby, although I'd prefer it to be ours," He admits, making my heart soar. It's before I can answer however that the doorbell rings, calling him away from a conversation we've had many times.

"Brie!" Lily exclaims as Oscar quietly follows her in, Lando following his teammate.

"Lils, it's been too long," I greet her with a hug, pulling both of the Mclaren drivers into hugs as well. "You need to come to more races, I'm always lonely."

"And what am I, chopped liver?" Kelly asks, announcing her little family's arrival, Max clapping Lo on the back as her little girl runs into my legs.

"B!"

"P! I've missed you sweetie," I coo, pulling her onto my hip and kissing her cheek, hugging Kelly and Max.

"P, what do we say to Brie and Logan?" Max prompts, smiling softly at his little girl and I.

"Thank you for inviting us to your American holiday!" She thanks, kissing my cheek before fist bumping Lo.

"I am so happy you all could come," I assure, looking around the progressively filling kitchen. "I love that we're all able to be together for one of my favorite holidays."

She smiles brightly, Max coming up to take her from me with the reasoning that I should be greeting guests as Alex and his Lily walk in, the Lily's being introduced.

And I can't help but smile around me, my heart warm as Lo joins me, wrapping me in his arms.

"Is this everything you wanted?" He asks, words whispering in my ear as he leans on my shoulder.

"Everything and more Lo, everything and more."

[simpleeshea]

On the Clock!

C!Wilbur x Gn! Reader

<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>

Chapter 7

"Darling, I'd hold you."

trigger warning: Slight mentions of sewerslide

--One new message--

Wilbur:

Goodnight.

Delivered: 12:34 A.M.

The light from my screen flashed far too brightly for my tired eyes. Unenthusiastically, I rolled out of my bed and checked the clock on the wall for the time because even though that had been the initial reason for looking at my phone, I forgot to check. It was ten in the morning, not exactly, but close enough. I didn't have any big plans for today except maybe searching online again for available higher paying jobs than the gas station in case I never get an email back from the coffee shop. I didn't want to stop working with Wilbur. In reality, I think he's the only reason I've stayed for as long as I have... but I can't keep living off of this current paycheck. I'm so far behind on my rent and the station doesn't allow me to work more than a certain amount of hours.

Wilbur and I... it's complicated. We're bestfriends, but that only lasts for as long as I'm clocked in. Maybe we're just coworkers after all. Does he see me how I see him? He's always been so quiet about his life outside of work- I am too, but for some reason, it's just different with him. I'd be willing to talk about all of my shit with him if he asked... but he never has. I'm not sure why that bothers me so much. Usually, I get angry when someone tries to be all in my business, but I want him to ask. I want him to care. Maybe the fact that he doesn't ask means that he just doesn't care.

I wipe my hands across my face as I stare at my disheveled appearance in the small bathroom's mirror. How did thinking about work become an anxious conversation with myself about whether or not Wilbur actually sees me as a friend? My brain was clearly a mess today.

After I finished getting myself dressed for the day, I padded through my phone, checking my email for any response about the second interview. I was probably just kidding myself though, surely I was getting my hopes up like always and the position had already been filled by yet another mediocre teenager being forced to appease their parents. I was getting sick of working stupid low-paying jobs at twenty-four. I should have just listened to my parents and let them pay for my way into med school, but no. I had to want to be an artist.

I decided to shoot Wilbur a text. Maybe it wasn't a busy day at work and texting him would keep me distracted for a few minutes.

Y/n:

Hey what's up?

I sent the text and tossed my phone to the side but turned on my ringer before so that way I could hear when he responded.

My phone lay silent on the bed for a while as I went bout cleaning up my small apartment. I sprayed some cheap air freshener to attempt to remove the smoke-stained smell that came as an addition to the apartment. There were worse smells that the apartment could have smelled like, but I wasn't sure how the previous owner even got away with that much smoking inside when the apartment complex owner was very uptight about what went on inside each apartment, especially smoking. I brushed off the question before accidentally inhaling too much of the freshly sprayed air freshener that smelled like lavender. I coughed slightly, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. It wasn't a pleasant lavender, I couldn't quite explain it but the smell was just far too sweet and it burned my nose. For better or worse, the spray didn't actually last that long and I was beginning to debate just buying a slightly more expensive brand of air freshener with how fast I had been going through these cans.

My phone chimed which caught my attention.

Wilbur:

Just a lot of work. It's my day to stock shelves and Darrien isn't here to help at the register.

I looked at the message and knew the stress that he was going through. Stocking wasn't a fun job but usually I had Wilbur to at least work the register while I did it. I looked at the clock and saw it was getting closer to noon which meant the store was fixing to be at its second busiest time of the day. I let out a sigh before shooting Wilbur a text back that I knew I'd probably regret.

Y/n:

Need me to come in and help?

Wilbur:

Aww

care about me enough to work on your day off?

"I knew I'd regret it," I said aloud to no one except myself.

Y/n:

Nevermind.

I'm staying at home.

Wilbur:

No no no! Please come 😭

It'd actually help a lot.

Y/n:

...

Wilbur:

Please🙏

Y/n:

Wilbur:

Fine😭

But I will make fun of you ten times more this next week

Y/n:

Calm down I'm getting in my truck😭

Wilbur: 😁

Y/n:

Smh

Wilbur:

Thank you.

Y/n:

Whatever.

get to work

When I made it to the station I realized that I forgot my earbuds at home. This only meant one thing: I got the pleasure of annoying Wilbur more Wilbur got to listen to my amazing voice waaay more.

I opened the door, to which the chime rang loudly. Wilbur didn't lift his head and just said "Hey welcome in, I'll be with you in a second."

I went up behind his crouched form and just stood over him. He took out his earbuds and looked up with a confused expression until he realized that it was me standing above him. It was weird seeing him from a high angle. Usually, Wilbur was always standing above me and I'd strain my neck to meet his eyes. But now, Wilbur was below me, his head cocked up to meet my eyes and a relieved expression on his face.

"Thank god. I think if I had to deal with one more redneck hick, I'd actually shoot myself," Wilbur said sounding exhausted.

"Right well, let's not actually do that," I laughed nervously.

"Obviously," Wilbur didn't look up as he muttered back quietly and only continued to place boxes of candy bars on shelves.

"Wilbur?" I asked quietly. He didn't turn to look, in fact, he didn't do anything at all to motion that he had even heard what I had said. "You would never actually do anything like that... would you?"

Wilbur finally stopped filling the shelves with useless junk that appealed to people who actually could afford to enjoy luxuries such as random overpriced candies. His arms fell to his side before he let out a small sigh. He turned and met my eyes slowly, "I'm not going to do anything like that, Y/n."

A wave of relief flooded over me. I gave him a small smile before offering a hand to help him off of the floor. His fingers reached up and clasped over my hand as I pulled hard to get him off the dirty ground. As I pulled him up, he did something unexpected. Wilbur's arms came around my body, holding me close to him in a hug. His body was freezing cold as he clung tight to me. He stood there in silence for a moment and somehow it didn't feel awkward, instead, it felt nice to be comforted. I think the last time I hugged someone who wasn't a stuffed animal was when I had my last boyfriend during my senior year of high school. But he's a story for a different time. Wilbur squeezed tight once more before saying "You shouldn't worry about me so much," and then letting go and picking up his empty box and tossing it to the side. "You remind me of Tommy in that aspect." This also caught me by surprise. He didn't often talk about Tommy, and if he did, it was just the version of him in his book.

"How so?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"He was far too caring." It was a moment more filled with silence and Wilbur's feet shuffling to go grab another box to unpack. "Tommy saw the bad that I had done and still cared for me. Not only that but he looked up to me. I used to think his loyalty was a good thing... but having time to reflect on this, I think his loyalty to me got him into far more trouble than it was worth."

"So the real Tommy's a lot like book Tommy?"

Wilbur chuckled dryly. "You could say that."

I nodded before coming up with another question. I debated on even asking for a moment but inevitably I did ask, "So what happened to you and Tommy? Why don't you see him anymore?" My breath got caught in my throat before I went on further to say, "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to... obviously."

He shook his head while he kept filling shelves, "No, It's alright. I had to leave for Tommy's sake. I had done some pretty messed up shit to him and I can't ever make it better. The worst part about it all though... I didn't even know how to apologize. I went around for days apologizing to all of these people, but when it came to it... I just didn't know how to say it to him. I just left, and now I'm here."

I slowly absorbed everything Wilbur had told me. I wondered what he could have done that was so bad to make him feel he had to leave. "I'm sure he understands, Wilbur."

"That's part of the problem," he answered back far too quickly. "The problem with me apologizing to Tommy is that he either forgives me which makes him stupid, or he doesn't... which I don't think I'd ever be able to have a shot at forgiving myself if Tommy didn't forgive me too."

I bit the inside of my lip anxiously. "The thing is, Wilbur, you're just a person like the rest of us. We only get one shot at living and we're all going to make mistakes. The best thing that we can do is recognize those mistakes and learn from them. And if he doesn't forgive you, then that's okay. You just have to accept that and keep living, because giving up in any form is unacceptable. You can be sad and take a break... but you can't give up."

Wilbur sat still for a second before turning his head to look at me. A small smile was draped on his lips as he looked grateful for my words. "Thank you, Y/n." He laughed slightly, "You're not too bad at making people feel better, you ever considered a job in therapy?"

"Gahhh!" I groaned, "Now you sound like my parents." I shook my head, "You need to be a doctor, why not be a lawyer, you need to be making a lot of money," I mocked their endless nagging.

Wilbur laughed again, "Y/n, I think you should do what makes you the happiest."

His words, they lingered in my mind and ate me up inside. I dreamed of my parents saying that to me. A cheesy smile smeared across my face. "You're such a sap, Wilbur," I beamed.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before tossing away another box. "Don't you have a show to watch or something?" he jokingly groaned.

"Nope," I said popping the p. "My Netflix subscription got canceled," I said trying to laugh off something that actually upset me.

"Lovely," Wilbur said sarcastically, not catching the way my smile dropped for a second after I had told him. Or maybe he did notice... maybe he just didn't care to ask.

"Yep, now you get to listen to me yap all day," I laughed out loud, trying to drown out the previous thoughts with sounds of joy even if they were faked.

"I feel like I deserve this for how many Wednesdays I've annoyed you."

"Exactly."

---

It was now later in the evening, Wilbur had finished stocking the shelves and was cleaning up the store a little bit. I finished bagging a customer's snacks and watched as they walked out the door with a small chime following the motion of the door swinging open and shut. Wilbur leaned the broom against the wall and sighed, tugging at the collar of his work shirt uncomfortably before walking over to the front counter where I sat on a stool with my head leaned against the cool tabletop. "You can leave if you want."

I froze as he said this, afraid that maybe he didn't really want me here anymore. Jokingly I said back, "I see how it is, you don't want me here." I teased him but hoped to see a genuine reaction from him.

"That's not what I meant and you know that," he said seriously but a small smile shone slightly on his lips.

I laughed softly but faintly said, "And what if I didn't know that?"

"huh?" Wilbur turned his full attention to me but it was clear that he hadn't caught what I had said.

"Nothing," I spoke much more firmly. "Want to practice your mixing skills?" I asked changing the subject.

WIlbur's face quirked up into a smile but it slowly faded. "I probably shouldn't come into work hungover for a second time this week."

I nodded in understanding. "How much longer are you thinking about staying open?" I asked.

"Probably another hour or two." I checked my phone for the time, it was only six in the afternoon.

"That's pretty early to close up," I mentioned.

"We usually close earlier, mostly because Daxton isn't much help but after six nobody really drives through here."

"I mean it's not like this place is in the middle of nowhere," I laughed sarcastically.

Wilbur laughed too, but something felt off with his laugh. I couldn't quite explain it but it had an underlying sadness to it that I could feel in my chest. That feeling sat as a heavyweight, a weight that I couldn't push off, and so I asked, "What's wrong, Wilbur?"

"What do you mean?" he laughed again at my question as if he thought I didn't notice. I wasn't blind. I didn't know everything about Wilbur, but I could tell that he wasn't his usual self. While Wilbur wasn't always the happiest-looking person, he was usually able to at least laugh at a joke.

"I mean..." I thought for a second, "You just seem off today."

Wilbur stood still for a moment before nodding. "You really should look into a psychology degree or something," he chuckled dryly. "But yeah, I'm not doing the greatest. I guess I've just been thinking about Tommy a lot here lately."

"That makes sense. He was like a brother to you, right?"

He gave another small dry laugh that sounded more sad than joyous, "Right. He meant a lot to me."

I let his words sink into me for just a brief moment. "Meant."

"What?"

"You said meant. Does he not still mean a lot to you?"

"Y/n... Tommy means the world to me," he said but he sounded as if there was more to say even though he stood silently.

"Okay...?"

"But I'm not sure I deserve to even think about him."

"Oh."

"I left him, Y/n. I ran. I thought it was the only good thing I could do for him because when I was in his life I made it so much worse for him. There was one point where he looked at me and it felt like he was scared... like he didn't even recognize my-" Wilbur's voice was breaking. He cut himself off, took a deep breath in and out, and swallowed hard before saying, "I was a horrible person to him."

I looked up at Wilbur. Surely this was as bad as things could get for him. There was no way things would get worse... but for some reason, I sat there and feared the worst for him. I sat there in silence and racked my brain for something to say, anything.

Wilbur stood in front of the counter, he was still like an ancient statue, breaking down and corroded. I sat still on the rickety stool with my hands in my lap.

Shakily he said, "You don't..." Wilbur paused as he tried to collect himself, "You don't have to say anything back."

I cursed myself, cursed myself out so loudly in my head that it became all I could hear. Why can't I speak? Why don't I have the right words to give him? I want so deeply to help him but I don't even know the first step to doing so. And in an instant... my mind cleared. Like a fresh breath of air after a deep swim in cold waters, these words came to me, "I'll hold onto you?"

"What?" Wilbur looked at me with a look of great confusion painted across his face.

"I'll hold onto you," I repeated. "I won't let you go down whatever route that you took again. I'll hold you accountable, and hold you up when you can no longer stand, I'll hold your hand and remind you who you really are, the Wilbur that I know. Darling, I'd hold you. I'd hold you because that's what friends are for. To be a support beam, to be a kind face, to just be there. So I'll hold you," I spoke the final few words so softly, and as I looked at his face, truly looking at him for the first time, I saw his eyes were watered up with tears.

"So then hold me."

A/N

I have a love-hate relationship with my writing.

[torimidori2-blog]

I'm tired of hearing about what's going on down in Gaza. Don't get me wrong, I'm not tired of the people who are spreading the word about this tragedy. I'm moreso tired of the fact that Israel is doing this shit to Palestinians in the first place. I see all these things on my feed talking about "donate to this Palestinian family so they can evacuate" knowing good and well that I really want to help these people, but I can't because I live in the US where there's an extremely record breaking amount of poverty, especially to queer, disabled, people of color like myself. Then with the whole "share this around" I keep on asking "Share this to who?" because my friends and found family are on the exact same boat. We're all poor and need any money we can get so we won't get kicked out of our apartments, so we won't starve, so we can escape abusive parents ect. We really can't do much about what's going on in Palestine, and it hurts, because we know they're having it much worse. They're literally dying over there, trying to find shelter, struggling to find medical aide for their ailments and sicknesses and they need to pay in order to leave, but their liveleyhoods are also being taken from them. The only thing I can do is spread the word in hopes that my audience is able to reverberate this message anywhere they can. I know my audience is not very big and I'm just starting to be more present online, because I need to advertise my shop, but like, what else can I do? Also, it doesn't help us that the same government who is fucking me and my family up by not giving the homeless housing and fucking up the economy by hiking up the prices of basic necessities is also funding the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. That means the evacuation of Palestinians solely rely on those who are middle or upper class citizens, which again, we're running short on those over here because the richest motherfuckers are being greedy, exploitative bastards and they're fascist, so they are biased against the existence of Palestinians anyway. This is all the product of capitalism and how extremely corrupt it can be, going against people's basic needs and instead using tax money to fund a literal GENOCIDE instead of dealing with all the issues we're dealing with here in the states. Fuck the government. Fuck Biden. Free Palestine. 🇵🇸 🍉

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

The more I interact with people the more I realize that extroversion is completely unnecessary and unnatural.

No, you do not need social interaction constantly. No you do not need hundreds of friends. Wtf is even small talk.

Humanity flourishes with small familial/found familial groups/friendships, and everyone needs alone time. Very few jobs ACTUALLY require extroversion to thrive. No, I don't want to have a conversation wirh my cashier or barista. We are making a transaction. We don't need to interact. And as time progresses with self service eventually we won't need even that. Don't speak to me if I'm purchasing something from your company. You're not my friend; you exist simply to give me what I am spending money to have. That is your purpose. I know you think becoming my friend will endear me to you so I can save you from the hellscape of boredom your job is, but that's not my obligation. This isn't Great Expectations. Being nice to a stranger won't give you a better life. Getting off your ass and applying yourself will; stop expecting introverts who are independent to do it for you.

Office work probably needs even less interaction. There's no reason FOR office work at all. It's a fact work from home was more productive. Most jobs don't actually need in-person work and if they do they definitely don't need you to be social. If you're in healthcare you fix my ass up and that's it. We dont need to chit chat. We don't even need to go out anymore tbh; that's why have the internet, online shopping, and DoorDash and Instacart. If it is required to go out, shut the fuck up and get back home asap. If you need to be social, go home and talk on the phone or use the internet or text. Nobody wants to hear your squawking laughter at restaurants and unintelligent gabbing at parks and stores. If you can't be noisy at your apartment or house, too bad. Should've bought your own hoke in a more secluded area. Don't make it pur problem. Cell phones in public should be for texting, dipshit. That's why it was invented. If you're waiting for an important phone call, STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME. I don't care about your problems! I don't know you! I don't want to overhear your cunt ass speak!

Any job that """requires""" talking to individuals in a conversational way is bullshit and it isn't actually necessary. Extroverts FORCED it to be a requirement by their nonstop yammering and FORCING people to put up with their look at me look at me main character syndrome. NOBODY should be making friends in a workplace environment anyway. Do you want to be betrayed and manipulated? Wait you're an extrovert. You're the one throwing us under the bus.

Do you think cavemen were partying and laughing noisily as possible and bragging about how social they are? No they were being quiet so they could hunt to survive. I guarantee that extroverts were killed by bears in the past. You think peasants and servants were making asses of themselves in public and forcing everyone to pretend they weren't annoyed? Do you think slaves were walking slow on sidewalks and taking up space in aisles to chat and never getting their work done because they were playing around but get away with being lazy because they're ass kissing their bosses with their extroversion? No. But you know who was doing that shit? Their rich ass elite royals and slave owners. Servants mind their business and Eat the Rich sociopaths were gossiping. Extroverts will manipulate everyone around them by playing invented games like "how to act exactly as society demands and say all the right opinions without offering an actual opinion" to get everyone on their side then you'll see how they act off the clock and they're totally different. This is SOCIOPATHY. You're a schmoozing sociopath who fucking lies and everyone thinks you're annoying and hates your fucking GUTS but Society demands we can't tell it how it is.

TLDR; extroversion is an invented word to cover for psychopathy, manipulation, and coercive control over the masses.

[rallamajoop]

1. Have you seen the re6 promo campaign, the butcher shop one? I think it was in London. There are some photos, and while I think it's kinda cool to get any sort of creative campaign to promote a video game, I felt majorly grossed out by it. Which was likely the intent lol, but I also felt it was pretty misleading? Like, it implied that there was cannibalism involved in the plot. 2. Would you ever like to get another resident evil co-op game? And if so, what would you like it to be - the characters, the plot, the time line, etc.

So, I don't know if I've managed to be too subtle about the fact I think RE + co-op was always a terrible idea the last, er, every time I've ever mentioned it, but, well, I think RE + co-op is a terrible idea. I have never even played an RE co-op game (I'm very open about the fact my opinions on RE5&6 come entirely from watching cutscene compilations and let's plays) and the fact they are co-op is among the reasons I don't want to play them. I'm just not interested in co-op experiences, they're too contrary to what I'm generally looking for in games.

It's questionable whether horror + co-op + narrative is ever a good mix. It's hard to do atmosphere with multiple different players alternately screaming, laughing and ribbing each other, and co-op is too good at generating its own narratives via player interactions to gel with a strong narrative horror experience. I've heard of online multiplayer games working in horror settings ‒ scenarios where you're basically playing as the ubiquitous team of cannon fodder from every other horror film, whose job is mostly to get picked off one by one. But I honestly can't think of a single example of a co-op game with a strong narrative where the co-op is more than an awkwardly tacked-on gimmick. I mean, by all means, send me counter-examples here if you know of any, but the best I've got is, "well, I hear the Portal 2 co-op campaign was actually pretty good, but me and my sister couldn't get it working even back when we were still living together, so we never actually played it."

This is not to say that narrative + co-op is necessarily an unworkable combination. The one genuinely interesting thing I've ever heard of being done in a co-op/horror experience is that one sequence in Dead Space 3 which one player character spends hallucinating, so the two players are seeing very different things. And I'm sure there's way more that could be done with asymmetric gameplay experiences, not just in the sense of giving characters different weapons (or whatever else you're all about to tell me they totally did in that one RE Revelations game), but actively splitting them up, letting decisions made by one player affect the experiences of the other, building trust issues directly into the narrative ‒ you can't tell me there aren't possibilities there.

But the trouble with all those kinds of ideas is that they depend on someone building co-op in as a core part of the whole design, rather than an optional extra, and the audience for an experience that needs exactly two people to work (rather than one person, who can play without having to synchronise with anyone else's schedule, or a variable group of however many of your friends are free today for online multiplayer) doesn't easily justify the amount of extra work that'd require. Add in all the extra issues with local vs remote co-op, and whether the whole conceit falls apart if your two players talk to each other about bits the other guy isn't meant to have seen, and you can see why games like this don't get made. And even if they did, I don't know why you'd try to retrofit that many new ideas into a Resident Evil game, other than for cheap name recognition. I mean, you might as well try to sell me a Final Fantasy as a single player action game [insert sad laughter here].

As for the RE6 promo campaign, no I hadn't heard of it, and now that I've looked it up, my thoughts are, "oh, a pop-up butcher selling cuts of meat constructed to look like human body parts? Yeah, sure, that seems pretty on-brand." A few fake body parts are not going to seriously gross me out (what made RE6 genuinely unpleasant for me was a mix of misery porn, toxic masculinity, and the random injection of bouncing-titty-monsters in the middle of yet more misery porn). Nothing really misleading about it either: RE has zombies, and zombies eat people. It's a publicity stunt, not a game trailer ‒ it's only there to get your attention in the broadest way they can come up with to grab some headlines (but if you wanna talk about real misleading advertising in game advertisements, that's a rabbit hole that probably goes all the way to China). But I'm guessing they probably weren't even really selling that shit, so you can always feel misled on that front if you like.

[manikax]

TASK 001: HOME

✳  🎀  𝑀𝒶𝒿𝒶'𝓈 𝒶𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉  🎀  ✳

Maja Lim has resided in the same Seoul apartment for over two decades. In direct contrast to the univocally beautiful Lim, the exterior of the complex is unremarkable in almost every way. The innocuous tan building, built in the 1990s and located in the lively Jongno-gu district among antique markets and art studios, does not reflect the playful nature of the surrounding neighborhood.

A different story is told inside Lim's tenth-floor apartment. At first, it can be challenging to tell the difference between her sun-kissed living room and a pastel paradise. Lim, of course, is one of South Korea's most popular streamers, but a quick glance at her Insadong residence reveals that she could've easily worked as an interior designer for kawaii cafes in Harajuku, Tokyo; she has an eye for all things cute and pink. 

A common thread in Lim's home is a blending of soft and sweet with bite and edge, which she's applied to her career as an online personality. Lim is a collector and a maximalist, and there’s seldom an empty wall or corner. A travel souvenir (a Greek coin that has been out of circulation since the 1980s) here, a trinket (a waving sakura lucky cat from Japan) there; a photograph in a wavy handmade frame (designed by a local Insadong artist), a Sanrio plushie. Or two. Or Three. In fact, there are an inordinate amount of plushies in the Lim household. “It’s a bit of a self-soothing mechanism,” Lim admits with a laugh. “When I’m in a sour mood, I buy a plushie. Or go shopping.”

Despite the maximalism of Lim's apartment, it never feels congested... until you reach the closet. She has done her best to accommodate her vast wardrobe, attempting to keep it enclosed to the bedroom, but it has nonetheless splashed out into the rest of her apartment. A metal clothing wrack in the living room holds a few notable items (most of which are pink), but the garments themselves are exquisite enough to function as an art piece.

When asked what clothing she chooses to hang on the living room rack, Lim says, "I want to say it’s whatever I'm wearing most, but the truth is it's usually what I want to dress my friends in. I love having my girl friends over and dressing them up. I'm really into sleepovers. Painting each other's nails, doing each each other's hair, that sort of thing. It makes me feel like I'm finally getting to experience the girlhood — the teenhood — I never had.”

Lim's house has an air of permanence, of established roots, but she admits that she wasn't always a settler. She had never committed to creating a personal space for herself until she moved to Seoul. As her career blossomed and popularity grew, she considered relocating to a larger apartment in a more affluent neighborhood. “I’ll never follow through," she says. “I have a very personal relationship with this place. This neighborhood. I know all the staff at the local businesses and they know me. I feel very...” she pauses, searching for the appropriate word, “held here. It’s a nice community.”

It would be difficult to discuss Lim without mentioning her streaming setup. She does not, contrary to popular belief, have a separate room for gaming. A corner of Lim's bedroom is taken up by her desk, which is outfitted with multiple monitors, neon lights, and numerous trinkets from her favorite gaming franchises. "[Now that I'm famous], people assume I have a crazy complicated setup. That I must stream from a converted home office or a corporate warehouse. Manika Incorporated!" She laughs. "But, no, everything is still very homegrown, and I have no intention of changing anytime soon." As the adage goes: don’t fix what ain’t broke. 

The Filipina streamer hails from Manila, and those with a keen eye will notice design references to her motherland. A large Pamaypay hangs above the bar area, a wooden Karabow guards a bowl of keys in the foyer, and many antique pieces are paneled in stunning white capiz, a natural material abundant in the Philippines.

“My apartment is an extension of myself,” says Lim. “It’s everything that I am, everything that I was, and likely everything I’m going to be in the future. It’s all right here.” 

[all-or-nothing-baby]

some ADHD things:

avidly trying to flick away the tiny mole on the top of your thigh every time you see it, despite the fact that it's been there more or less since birth

seeing the iced café latte (standard, no options) on the vietnamese takeaway menu and exitedly ordering it even though you know you're lactose intolerant. and doing it again and again and again.

buying literally dozens of pairs of sunglasses, so many you've run out of space to house them all and the pile is now taking over your apartment like some towering plastic triffid, yet never remembering to grab a pair when you leave your house even though you have quite severe light sensitivity

never being able to keep on top of how stupidly fast things on your body grow, and, even after what seems like an incredibly short period of time since you last had a self-care session—it was like, two seconds ago right?—you are somehow always only one short horror story away from having toenails to rival lopan's talons from big trouble in little china

being disabled and having your food shopping delivered by an online service and when the delivery driver (who isn't always the same person but it is the same handful of folx on rotation) asks "are there any plastic bags for me to take back this week?" and you have to say "oh, sorry, i forgot to sort them. i'll give them to you next time," every. damn. time bc next time never EVER comes so you periodically end up asking one of your friends to take the now binbag-full of ocado carrier bags to the supermarket they shop at where there is, thank christ, a plastic bag recycling bin that said friend can stuff the ridiculous collection into; thus you are 100% positive that each of the delivery drivers must think you have some sort of high density polyethylene fetish

[weabooweedwitch]

Dude so after I already told my mom that this could become a problem before I even started working this job and she insisted it was fine, she is now jumping up my ass about how "oh she's so tired of having to wake up early to pick me up from my overnight shifts"

Well there were certainly other closer locations i could have applied at dear mother but you were quite literally bullying me about getting another job to the point YOU applied on my behalf after badgering me over and over, didn't you? And at that point I was so extremely stressed I let you do everything, didn't I? And it was entirely your choice to apply for the wrong hours at the wrong location that is too far away for me to take the bus, as opposed to, the location that was right next to my old job who's bus route I already knew

But fuck calling them and trying to apply there, you didn't immediately see any posting online despite the fact they had visible posting in the store, fuck trying to contact them directly, oh no, we had to force through an application online "because what if it isn't there later"

And she wants me to feel bad that it's "ruining her sleep" to wake up a little early to pick me up from the job you applied me for? No Dana being obese and constantly gorging when you aren't working ruins your sleep. Having to take naps every single day in the middle of the day and then still sleep 10+ hours at night is ruining your sleep. Not getting any physical exercise and refusing to do something as simple as go grocery shopping by yourself is ruining your sleep.

Like???? She's complaining about a situation SHE caused and put me in??? Dumb bitch. Absolutely dumb spiteful bitch. Yesterday (thursday) I mentioned how extremely important it was to do laundry so I could spend today (friday) packing so I could focus on getting ready for my flight early Saturday morning and I texted her I was setting an alarm and everything, but I accidentally slept til 9pm and she's just. Sitting on the couch eating cereal watching TV. "Oh sorry I needed to catch up on my sleep" *proceeds to go to bed again at 10pm and sleep 10+ more hours until she has work and now I can't get anything done until after 4pm*

I might just pack dirty laundry and do it at my hotel in Canada because they provide amenities for that. Im just. I'm furious. Shes been treating me like absolute shit and insulting my friend and even outright saying he's probably a creep nd only inviting me because he wants sex or something??? Does she even realize how fucking hurtful that is?

Lowkey hope this apartment burns down with her in it while I'm in Canada. Wash my hands clean of her. I wouldn't be becoming this hateful spiteful person I am 8f it wasn't for her and I'm dying on that hill. The way she's raised me has damaged me forever and I'll never forgive her. Sigh.

[mcbex]

**All Twisted Up**

I'll just say it, I like to sing in my car. In fact I am a 1 woman band. With the voice of an angel, or maybe that of a frog, I sing and often play the drums... on my steering wheel. It's quite the display. This morning I was feeling extra feisty as I blared worship music to get my funky feelings under control. I had one hand raised could feel my mood changing as I sang "now come on my soul, don't you get shy on me lift up your song"... and then I came to a red light, where I ironically got shy and turned down the music. I felt sort of silly thinking about the prying eyes of people I didn't know watching me raise my hands and sing badly, even though no one was looking. Nevertheless I respectfully turned my song low, sat through the light and reached up to my neckline where I anxiously fiddled with the 2 necklaces that lay there intertwined.

The strands I had on were a modern day rosary I found online a few years ago. Although I haven't worn it everyday since I bought it, I don't remember the last time I took it off. I recently add to it a BFF necklace my daughter chose for us last weekend. We were shopping for something else. Needless to say when your 11 year old asks you to be her best friend you say yes and buy the necklace.

While I sat there fidgeting with the mess I noticed how at this point the necklaces are conjoined. I sort of like how they have merged with each other. It reminds me of how life is sort of twisty like that too. It reminds me of Gods love. How our souls are indivisible from him.

Sure I could take them off. I could unclasp and take them apart link by link until all I had left were parts and pieces. But they would never go back to together the same as before they were tangled. That's how we are when we've found Christ and try to live without him. Before I met him I could go along and share meaningful enough moments but I wasn't tangled up in anything lasting, even if it felt important. Yet after we find a relationship with him it's never the same. He gets fused with our souls and constantly breathes safety, joy and grace into everything. Even the hard things by reminding me to have patience with him. By showing me the tiniest details I would have never noticed if my heart wasn't open to his overwhelming love.

Back at the traffic light, I pulled through as it turned green, but I didn't sing as loudly and I didn't turn the radio back up. I was lost in the reality of creation. Because even if I chose to ignore him, if pretend he isn't there or disengage entirely, I don't get to choose to live without him. None of us do. He is constant, inseparable and always with us.

Job 12;10 In his hand is the life of every creature, and the breath of all mankind.‭‭

Genesis 2:7 Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

#godthoughts