#like anyone could fucking know what's going on in this world lmao
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bardicious · 2 months ago
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I think it's a bit ridiculous that anyone other than Dean and Sam themselves (cause of their insane guilt complexes) would count opening the gates of hell as their fault. Like... here are these two ghost hunters, way over there heads in the demon department, doing their best to keep not only their remaining friends and family alive, but humanity in general, they're getting manipulated left and right by demons because they have no information otherwise, and yet they still found the location of hell's gates and closed it, when the actual person at fault (Jake Talley) opened them, and closed them as best they could.
That's while being attacked by the yellow eyed demon. Like? The only reason they didn't shoot Jake to begin with is because of Sam's humanity, and Ellen being in danger. How would this in any way be categorized as their fault?
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nexus-nebulae · 2 months ago
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just realised that the first media we consumed that made us REALLY sympathetic for the monster was that fucking point and click Mystery Case Files Ravenhearst game. bc that entire game i was legitimately fucking TERRIFIED of the ghost lady in that game but the second i found out her husband was abusive i doubled down on trying to help her escape. and the ending of that game Did make me cry out of fear but hey at least i did in fact help her escape
#i think that was the first game we ever like. completed. as well#NO it was hidden expedition amazon bc that one was less scary so it was easier to beat LMAO#we had both of those games on a single disc as a kid#one o those like. buy 2 for cheap game discs at like. best buy. i love those cheap bargain bin point and click games#hidden object games were my entire thing from the age of like. 8 to 12#we also had like. three ispy game discs one of which had FOUR separate worlds to go to#which upon my recent googling was like. multiple ispy games packaged into one which i cannot find any record of??#i know for a fact it had a space section the fantasy one and the school days one#and then we had treasure hunt and spooky mansion as separate discs#I FUCKING MISS SPOOKY MANSION i have a download of it but i CAN'T PLAY IT bc it was made for computers older than windows 7#it fucks up the aspect ratio of the screen and the mouse like. shows the cursor being about an inch to the left of where it Actually Is#its weird#anyway complete non sequitur here but I GOT THE STUPID ASS MULTIPLAYER ITEMS IN TERRARIA#i forgot i could just. make a multiplayer world. and not invite anyone to it. and get the items that way#so this can still be a purely singleplayer challenge i just have to click on a different menu to get these items#NOW I JUST HAVE TO FUCKING PAINTING HUNT. HOORAY 😳#they need to make a version of that emoji without the blush. i am not flushed i am fucking STARING AT U LIKE A MADMAN#the fucking. uluru painting. i chewed through 7 ENTIRE LARGE DESERTS FOR THAT FUCKING THING#7 LARGE WORLDS. DCU. DESTROYED ALL TRACE OF SAND. ONLY GOT ULURU IN AN OLD ABANDONED WORLD INSTEAD 😔#and now. now i have to search for fucking WALDO?????? WALDO????? this actually looped back around to the initial topic of the post huh#any hidden object BOOKS i would fucking eat up as well the Can You See What I See books??? i liked those better than ispy actually#walter wick is the one man responsible for my LIFELONGGGGGGG obsession with hidden object games#i LEARNED TO READ with ispy books initially and i fucking LOVED it it was so fun making learning a game#i learned to read like. wayyyyy faster than other kids apparently?#i dont remember what age but i was definitely early bc i knew enough that when i entered preschool i was like. past their starting level#i dont remember the details i just know like. i learned to read really early. and i was a late talker#but neither of my parents think i was. bc both of them were delayed in speaking too so they think its normal--#but like. my mom was Deaf she absolutely was a late talker#and my dad. well. lets just say my mother has less of the tism tendencies to gift to me#and also both were part of very very large chaotic families so like. mild neglect was part of the package yknow
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spikeyjo · 4 months ago
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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tyrannuspitch · 9 months ago
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sometimes it really does feel like i'm undergoing some kind of second-hand queerplatonic experience simply by trying to engage with fandom while centring and prioritising a platonic relationship. i mean, no-one's actually being hostile to me or anything, but there is honestly a kind of pervasive feeling that i just Don't Fit. in my fandom, there are communities for romantic relationships, and there are communities for individual characters, but how do i find *my* people? if there ever was a way, it's long since died out, but honestly i suspect there wasn't. i think we've always been scattered. most ppl who engage are just dabbling, or vastly prefer one character over the other. this relationship is at least peripheral to the entire fandom's experience but ppl for whom it's actually the centre are. somehow. few and far between
#but idk this is actually a gen-heavy fandom (relatively speaking 😒) so maybe i'm making it up#and what i'm actually experiencing is just a super advanced stage of my conviction that no-one gets thor like i do lmao#anyway this is not me complaining abt the few ppl i DO know in this fandom. you're all cool!!#it's just me bashing my head against a wall bc sometimes it seems like the only ppl who love both my favourite characters equally#are inc*st shippers#and shipping them is in my humble opinion just one more way to spectacularly miss the point#sigh. idk. i am trying to be more zen and ignore them without trying to bite anyone#but it also does just make me sad sometimes bc like#okay i know this is going to sound presumptuous and pretentious and so on blah blah blah#but like. i do think that amatonormativity is a huge force behind that phenomenon#which also means i think a lot of them are just ppl who like both characters and are doing it in a 'well why not' kind of way#because they don't feel like adjusting or interrogating their framework for fictional relationships they care about#and they DO feel like being a little bit edgy#which. on some level. makes me feel like. at least a few of them could've been My Community.#but they've shut the door on me.#which i know is self-centred#and also uninformed bc i do my best never to see them at all so i genuinely have NO idea what's going on in their heads it could be anythin#but still. eurghhh. it's just rlly fucking lonely okay#microdosing arophobia every day by being a genficcer in a slashfic world.#you can take the man out of the aro community* but you can't take the aro community out of the man!!!#(*turns out i'm gay)
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
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dolche-tejada · 5 months ago
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You know, I think this ending would have been slightly less of a fucking disappointment if the heroes hadn't been so unfairly favored by Horikoshi compared to the villains. I mean, seriously
Deku destroys every bone in his body multiple times throughout the story and is warned that if he continues, he'll permanently lose the use of his limbs ? Everything's fine, his body's just got used to being reduced to a bloody pulp somehow so there's no consequences for him. In fact even when he literally loses his arms to Shigaraki, he gets them back two minutes later thanks to Eri because guess what ? Her horn still works even when cut off from her body. How convenient.
Gran Torino gets his ribcage obliterated by Shigaraki ? Don't worry guys, he'll survive that despite his old age and injuries, and this to have no particular role in the plot afterwards.
Bakugo dies heroically trying to buy time before Deku arrives ? Lmao, did you really believe it ?? No of course not, Edgeshot just uses his last-minute Deus Ex Machina to save his life at the cost of his own and- Oops nope he's fine too, my bad !
Hawks murders a criminal fleeing for his life in cold-blood ? The best Hori has to offer is him completely free and in charge of the HSPC.
And no, losing his quirk isn't a real consequence for him because not only it literally played a major part in saving the world with Vestige!Hawks raising an insurrection among AFO's quirks, but also because his quirk has always been the element through which people exploited him.
Endeavor abused his family for years and completely destroyed his eldest son ? No jail time and no media backlash for that, the only blame he received was due to the heroes' failure to stop the League during the Raid Arc.
And don't even get me started on this bs about facing hell or whatever for what he's done : He's literally free and wealthy ; he has Rei, Fuyumi, Shoto, his sidekicks and Hawks on his side ; and all the difficulties he's apparently going to suffer are off-screened.
Deku had to sacrifice OFA and his future hero career to save the world ? Guess what, Bakugo invested all his time and money to make him an Iron-Man suit and now he can still be a hero with everyone else.
There are plenty more examples of this but I think you get the idea. Now let's take a look at the villains' ending :
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Toya is now a piece of charcoal kept artificially alive for the few years he has left, unable to move a finger, and whose few minutes a day during which he can stay awake will be spent talking to his father who abused him as a child.
Toga, a literal teenager, killed herself to save Ochako and because she knew it's still better than rotting at Tartarus her whole life.
And not only did she die but she did by bleding to death. Let me repeat for those who have trouble grasping what I've just said : In a manga where the heroes can survive having their heart blown to bits, being impaled Kakyoin-style or smashed against buildings like a fly on a windshield, one of the main antagonists died of a fucking hemorrhage…
As for Shigaraki, after learning that his very birth and all the tragedies of his life have been orchestrated by AFO, after all this development and narrative promises about him being saved in the end... Deku just kills him.
Because despite all his speeches about saving him, it seems like the best our MC could do was beating him both physically and mentally until he crumbles to dust…
Compress on his side is apparently locked up for life and kept alive by machines too.
A begging Kurogiri tried in a desperate attempt to save Shigaraki, only to be unceremoniously blown up by Bakugo and dying off-screen without anyone giving a shit, including Aizawa and Mic.
And Spinner will now spend the rest of his life struggling with the extra quirks inside him that affect his body and mind, while having to cope with the thought that his boyfriend best friend and companions have either died alone or are locked away for life in horrifying circumstances.
Clearly not the same as with the heroes...
Now don't get me wrong, even if they suffered just as much from the consequences of their actions or the plot as the League, this ending would still be a disaster in terms of writing but AT LEAST it wouldn't reek that much of hypocrisy.
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aajjks · 29 days ago
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Promise (m)
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synopsis. Your boyfriend finds out a secret you’ve been keeping from him.
warnings. Yándéré, prégnáncy, tóxíc rélátíónshíp, ímménsé jéálóusý, cómplícátéd rélátíónshíp, côntróllíng jk, pósséssívénéss, dárk, flúff.
note. new manipulator in town LMAO.
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You are a stupid lying cunt.
How could you even hide a such a big thing for him? Do you really underestimate him that much did you really think that he wouldn’t find out?
Jeon Jungkook is a man that cannot be underestimated, and you should’ve learned your lesson a long time ago. It’s been four months since that argument and he’s been really patient with you.
He let you go, even though you kept on rejecting his efforts to try to get you back… he doesn’t understand why you don’t want him back.
Yeah, he gets really jealous and sometimes those things that piss you off, and you need space from him, which he doesn’t blame me for, but at the same time, he doesn’t understand how you don’t get him.
He just loves you very much.
And he doesn’t want anyone flirting with you and when someone flirts with you, despite knowing that you are taken, he punches them in the jaw, breaks their face, and then you get angry at him for being violent.
It is a vicious cycle, he knows.
But people should know better than to test him when they know that you are taken by him. Why is it so hard to comprehend for anybody?
And why the fuck do you have to take the other persons aside all the time.
He has given you enough time, now it’s time you come back to him.
So he’s invited himself into your house with the spare key had he had, but he’s seeing right now, this new avatar of yours— nothing could’ve ever prepared him for this.
A baby bump.
“Y-You are pregnant yn…”
You step aside, allowing him in, but there’s a hesitation in your movements that he notices.
Once inside, he stands awkwardly near the door, watching you. His eyes scan you like he’s trying to piece together what’s been going on in your absence. Then he sees it.
Your shirt is loose and slightly stretched over your stomach. The curve is small, but it’s there. He freezes, his chest tightening as his gaze drops lower.
You’re pregnant…
It’s barely a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity before he speaks again, his voice barely above a whisper. “YN… what is that?”
You look down at your stomach, and the briefest flicker of hesitation crosses your face. You’ve been hiding it, hoping no one would notice. But Jungkook has always been able to read you better than anyone else. He steps forward, his eyes widening as the realization hits him like a freight train.
“You’re…” His words catch in his throat as he takes a step closer, then another. He reaches out, trembling slightly, like he’s afraid to touch you, but his hand finally lands on your stomach.
His fingers press lightly, almost too gently, as if waiting for you to pull away. “You’re pregnant?”
The word hangs in the air, a heavy, suffocating silence following it. You take a deep breath, but your words don’t come easily. “Jungkook, I—”
“No,” he interrupts, his voice dark, almost broken. He’s still standing too close to you, his hand still resting on your belly, as if he’s afraid to pull away. “You’re pregnant?”
Yes, he knocked you up.
He looks at you, his face a mix of disbelief and something darker. His jaw tightens, and his eyes begin to search yours as if looking for answers.
“You’re hiding it from me?” he asks, his voice dangerously soft. “You’ve been carrying my child and didn’t think I had a right to know?” His voice cracks with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me, yn?”
There he goes playing the victim.
You snap, your anger rising as his words hit too close to home. “Tell you?” you scoff bitterly, stepping back from his touch. “You think I should’ve told you? After the way you’ve acted?”
You glare at him.
“Every time someone looks at me or even breathes in my direction, you’re out there fighting! Every damn time someone flirts with me or looks at me the wrong way, you act like the world is ending! Do you really think I want to deal with that, Jungkook? Do you think I need that in my life?”
His face falls, his jaw tightening, and he takes a step forward. “You think I fight because of jealousy?”
His voice is low, strained. “No, I fight because I don’t want anyone near you. You’re mine, yn. I’ve always wanted you. I can’t stand the thought of someone else touching you, looking at you like they have the right to.”
Why don’t you get it???!
You shake your head, frustration bubbling over. “You’re insane, Jungkook.”
Yeah he’s fucking NUTS.
“You’ve never trusted me, and you’ve never respected me! I don’t need you to fight for me. I need you to stop acting like a damn kid every time someone looks my way. I need you to grow up!”
His hand twitches at his side, like he’s about to grab you, but instead, his fingers curl into a fist, his anger evident.
“WHY DONT YOU FUCKIN GET IT YN????” He screams like in anger.
“You think this is easy for me? I see someone trying to get too close to you, and my first thought is you’re mine, don’t even think about it. That’s how it’s always been.”
“I don’t care about the rest of the world. I only care about you. I don’t care who looks at you—no one gets the right to. Not while you’re with me.”
Your eyes flash with rage. “You never let me breathe, Jungkook! You’re so obsessed with controlling everything, I can’t even be a person anymore without you over my shoulder, making sure no one looks at me. It’s suffocating. And now…” You glance down at your stomach, your heart pounding.
“Now you show up and want to control this too?”
Jungkook stands still, his gaze flickering between you and your stomach. His expression softens for a brief moment before it hardens again. “You think I’m controlling you?”
“I just want to protect you. Protect us. Do you understand? We’re going to be parents, yn. You’re not just mine in this moment. You’re carrying our child, and I’m not letting anyone take you away from me. Not ever.”
You stare at him, the anger still simmering beneath the surface, but something else bubbles up now too,
something more vulnerable.
“I didn’t know what to do, Jungkook. I didn’t want to feel like I was trapped. I didn’t want to be constantly under your watchful eye.”
Jungkook steps closer, his expression shifting from anger to something softer, almost desperate. “I’m not trying to trap you. I want us to have a future. Our baby is part of that future. You don’t have to do this alone.”
You cross your arms over your chest, not ready to give in. “You always say that, but your actions never match your words. You overwhelm me, Jungkook.”
He will never understand!
His voice lowers to a whisper as he steps even closer, his hand hesitating above your stomach, unsure whether you’ll allow it. “Please, let me be part of this. Let me be the one who helps. I’ll change, yn. For you. For our baby.”
Can he change?
For a moment, there’s silence, thick with the weight of everything between you. You’re not sure if he can change, but you’re not sure you want to walk away from him either. Your breath catches in your throat as his fingers finally touch your belly, a gentle caress that somehow feels like both a promise and a plea.
“I’ll protect you both. No one will ever hurt you again,” he murmurs, his voice soft now, as if he’s finally beginning to understand the gravity of what’s happening.
When you don’t respond, his tone gets more desperate.
“Please baby…”
You look up at him, eyes still angry, but now there’s something else there too. Something you can’t ignore.
“Promise me,” you whisper.
“I promise,” he says, his hand pressing against your bump, his eyes full of resolve. “I’ll never let anything or anyone take you from me again. You’re mine, yn. Always.”
Will he be able to keep his promise? He’s not sure.
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natailiatulls07 · 1 year ago
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It's giving old money
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Oscar Piastri x British!Countess!reader
Summary - Oscar and his self conscious girlfriend, who is also a British countess, slowly soft launch their very private relationship however another certain Brit speeds up that process
Warning - swearing, Y/n is self conscious??
Faceclaim - Lila Moss
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yourusername
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Nights in Monte Carlo x
Liked by friendsusername and 124,674 others
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friendsusername Hun we need to do this more often!
= yourusername Oh of course babe
username So jealous of her lifestyleee
username Imagine being her I wishhh
ilovey/nwithmyhearttt
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Y/n is at Wimbledon with her friend! I love the blue dress and the natural look <3
Liked by username and 58,739 others
username She's too gorgeousss omfggg
username Can we take a moment for the dress!
username Where is that dress frommm?? It's a fucking need!
= username I think it's Ralph Lauren
= username Thank yewww
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oscarpiastri
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A couple of days in London between gps
Liked by aussiegrit and 173,593 others
username Is this post sponsored by Ralph Lauren???
username Wait I recognize that dog, whats going on?!
username Oscar Pastry who is that?
landonorris Be safe bro emoji
= oscarpiastri Thanks mate lol
username It's giving old money
= username it's giving richhh
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yourusername posted a story
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username Y/n's new story of Archie, my heartttt
username Ikrr I want to kidnap it LMAO
username Wait Archie looks a lot like the dog in Oscar Piastri's recent instagram post, am I tripping??
username Gurl calm down, I doubt it. They are worlds away from eachother lol
username Yeah I agree, Y/n is too stuck up to make friends with anyone outside her countess/count social circle
yourusername
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Let's go racing x
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username This is new...
username My multiverse of madness!
mclaren Your welcome anytime <3
= yourusername I had the best time, thank you
username Okayyy so anyone wanna say something to me?? :|
username Look okay I'm sorry, maybe you did have an inkling
username Now that I look at it, the dog does very similarrr
username IKRR I think her and Oscar would be cute together lol
username They'd be the perfect old money couple nglll
oscarpiastri posted a story
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yourusername
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Thank you Melbourne, you're the best x
Liked by oscarpiastri and 178,484 others
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username Melbourne? thats random...
username Is this a soft launch????
username Oscar Piastri in the likes, Y/n in Melbourne...where Oscar also is, is Y/n and Oscar soft launching? :3
username Ummm Y/n??
oscarpiastri
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Days down in the water with my loved ones are my favourite
Liked by yourusername and 183,864 others
username Blonde hair + Melbourne + beach + Recent events + Y/n's like = Soft Lauch with Y/n L/n
= username Case closed! It has to be herrr
username I love summer break Oscar sm
logansargeant Always remember protectionnn
= oscarpiastri :|
username I need any more pleaseeee
username I mean they are making it very obviousss
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landonorris posted a story
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Text (White: Oscar Orange: Lando)
Dude what the fuck
What?!
What you've done?! You've just fucking outed mine and Y/n's relationship!!
Ohhh shit sorry man I didn't think you could see her face in the story I'll delete it now
No don't worry, we're trending on twitter anyways
Yeah sorry Osc, how's Y/n doing?
She's very anxious rn, you know how she is with the publics opinion of her
Oh no maybe distance her from social media
Yeah, I've taken her phone off of her
Ofc sorry again man
Nah dw it was bond to happen
oscarpiastri
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Yeah so me and this gorgeous women are dating. We want to keep it private and we hope you will respect our wishes <3
Tagged: yourusername
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millersfinest · 5 days ago
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untethered³ | e.w
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00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader
wc: 8.1k
series: chapter one, chapter two, chapter three (you’re here!), chapter four
blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.
cw: +18, lmao flip phones, r and ellie NOT beating the cheating allegations, more use of y/n then i would prefer, she/her pronouns, afab anatomy mentioned, some vulgar language, fuckgirl!ellie (kind of), the millers, r is a writer (she doesn’t write much in this ch wink wink), dina being a bitch, more horndog ellie, r being a little self-deprecating, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, jealous ellie, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, r is still very jealous of cat, hella angst, rich!abby (one of r’s evil exes), emotional cheating (from ellie), r using abby for sex, repressed emotions, crazy mature chapter (wasn’t intentional lmao)
note: lmao guys, i just wanna say as i proceed with this series… i do not agree w cheating on your partners DONT DO IT. don’t be like ellie (or the reader), it hurts people’s feelings and it’s just not worth it. i hope i tagged everyone who wanted to to be. bisous little lesbians/sapphics in my phone <3 please, enjoy this dramatic ass chapter x
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Normally, you wouldn’t be so pliant with Abigail—letting her hands drift toward the small of your back. Clearly, expressing her attraction, because she lost that privilege a while ago. But, you were weakened. And with the burning dark irises of an old friend into the back of your frame, you couldn’t help but let her. It was like she was some sort of cloak of invisibility. Some made up thing in your head ease your spirits.
You met Abby about a year ago, 2004, at some high profile event your agent made you go to. Isa introduced you as an aspiring author to anyone that she could, getting your name out there—which was a good thing, but horribly embarrassing at the time.
Abby was there with her dad, a well-known general surgeon in the city; when she was still in medical school. Wanting someone to talk to, you offered her a drink; a flute of expensive champagne. You didn’t hide your attraction to her, but you approached her with an open mind. Fortunately for you, the night consisted of flirting and great conversation. She was smart, and you loved smart women.
Give or take a few months, you withstand her busy schedule—dating each other, giving only a sliver of intention to one another. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but what you did know is that you couldn’t stand flakiness. Abby began to flake on you a lot; whether it was for her friends or work or school. For work and school you understood, but even then there were days you spent laying around each other completing your priorities. Somehow in the midst of your temporary romance, she began to cast you aside. Maybe it was because you weren’t drowning in money like she was. Or, she just didn’t like you—both were awful options.
Taking the lead, because you’d rather dump than be dumped, you broke up with her—she then hit you with: we weren’t in a relationship. Which was rough on the ears and heart. That was the first time you actually tried with someone in a long time, and she fucked it up. You learned your lesson, though.
The two of you didn’t speak for a few months, but then you called her on a very lonely night, begging for warmth. And, ever since then, it’s been off and on—you playing hard to get and her playing wanting to have.
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In the bar, with your hand clutching your cold, cheap cocktail, you walked with her in the direction of Ellie. Abby had her eyes set on her friend group, so she didn’t realize you were slowing down. “I’ll catch up with you…”
“Oh—“ She looked down, seeing the table of three practically gawking at her. Abby made a face that was unreadable. “Don’t make me have to come and find you.” She purred in your ear, slipping her arm from around your shoulders. Abby was such a show off when she wanted to be, which was more often than not.
An uncomfortable smile rested on your lips, hand waving, shortly, to the three sat at the rocky table. Ellie looked completely taken aback, leaning forward on her elbows. “Who the fuck was that?” Ellie whispered as you slipped into the seat she saved for you. Her jacket was placed on the back of your seat, holding it for you.
“Hey, y/n!” Jesse spoke, grinning ear to ear, leaning back in his wooden chair.
“y/n,” Dina said, plastering a fake smile on her glossy lips.
Jesse snickered, taking a sip of his beer. “Is that all you? Goddamn.”
“She’s just a friend from New York…” You waved a hand, dismissively.
“We just watched her feel you up and buy you a drink. Some friend she is.” Ellie countered, glancing over her shoulder at the tall, muscular blonde sitting with her friends. And, weirdly enough, Abby had her eyes on her, too.
You scoffed, holding up a hand. “Okay, she didn’t feel me up. Just forget it.” Shaking your head, you replaced that stern look on your face with a smile. “Anyway, how are you guys? It’s been a long time.” You wrap your lips around the straw sticking out of your drink. The sweet tangy flavor of the alcohol mixed with cranberry juice spreading over your tongue—easing your worries.
He glanced at Ellie, briefly. So fast, you almost missed it. Almost. “I’m doing good. Just moved into my new place in Boston. How about you, Dina?” Jesse raised an eyebrow, nudging her arm.
She stirred the ice in her water with her straw, raising a thick eyebrow. “I’m great.” Dina responded, simply.
“Great.” You say, sipping your drink, awkwardly.
There was silence between the four of you that could only be classified as awkward, uncomfortable and tense. Ellie boring her big eyes into the side of your face as you, purposely, ignored her. Dina no longer having a reason to speak because of your sudden appearance. And, Jesse, well… He was normal. If anything he was trying to fight the demon that was the awkward silence.
Ellie shook her head, a scoff falling from her lips. Abruptly, she stood up, walking over to the bar. Even though her beer was barely touched. “What’s wrong with her?” You mutter, watching her get up. She motioned for the bartender, and you watched them fill up a shot glass. Her slender frame leaned over the bar top, on her toes. Pale skin exposed between the belt holding up her jeans and the hem of her shirt. You couldn’t help but let your eyes linger there—places you’ve touched with the pads of your fingers…
“I don’t know… But, I’m curious. Be right back.” Jesse stood to his feet, taking his beer with him. Leaving, none other than, you and Dina left alone.
Chewing your lip, you slide your drink forward, looking her in the eye. Perhaps, it was the liquid courage settling in your muscles. “Things shouldn’t be weird between us… Ellie wanted me here.” You felt the need to defend your place. Ever since that day, she always seen you as some predatory figure—now, that you think of it… She had even before that day. Just did a better job at hiding it. You were the predatory animal chasing over your gullible and prancing prey—Ellie
“Yeah, and sometimes she doesn’t know what’s good for her. So… I’m sure she did.”
Ouch.
You physically coiled at her words. A dry, pissed scoff fell from your lips. “Fuck you, Dina.” You cursed, leaning back in your chair. Ellie could never do wrong in her eyes—it was obnoxious. Did she have a crush on her or something?
She dryly laughed, shaking her head. “Fuck me?” Dina raised an eyebrow. “Look at her!” She jutted her brown eyes in her direction. “Every time you’re around, she ends up looking that. A wilted fucking flower.” She scolded you, causing you to follow her eyes. Jesse spoke to her with intent eyes. Ellie ran her hands through her hair, eyes shifting side to side. You didn’t know what they were talking about, but it seemed serious. “Just face it, y/n… You’re the common denominator here.”
The common denominator. What an interesting choice of words.
“She’d probably have a better night if you just leave. Go home. Let blondie over there take you home… Or a taxi. I don’t care.” Dina turned her face from you, like you were nothing.
Your hands began to shake and tremble from her words. The muscles in your face twitched and heated up like a furnace—eyes welling up with pained tears. You sniffled, standing up from your chair. Trying every which way not to make a fuss—saving face. She was always such a bitch! So, instead, you rushed to the bathroom with the stiffest posture. Heels stalking by Ellie and Jesse with eyes set on the women’s restroom to unleash your fury.
It was like a gust of wind passing her, Ellie’s words trailed as she unloaded onto Jesse about where her minds been. He was, probably, the only person she could even share it with. Dina didn’t like you very much, she was too emotionally involved. Jesse wasn’t bias and could give her proper advice—it was just up to Ellie if she wanted to follow it or not.
Ellie confessed that the feelings she had for you hadn’t gone away. Something he already knew. But she explained it like an act of a possession—as if the softness of your skin, the beauty of your features, the smell that exuded from you was a spooky presence that just won’t leave her alone. A poltergeist. It was becoming a carnal need the more she saw you.
But what about Cat?
What about her?
Then, on cue, you passed her. Ellie only caught a glimpse of your face. Jaw trembling, the sound of your emotional hiccups. Immediately, her olive eyes shifted to the young woman left at the table. She clenched her jaw, shaking her in disapproval. “Jesse, can you get a fucking handle on her?”
“Easy, Ellie. Don’t talk about her like that. She’s just looking out for you— or trying to.” He told, shifting on his feet. “…And she’s pregnant.”
Her eyes widened. “What?!” Jesse motioned for her to whisper.
“Shh! I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Dina’ll kill me.”
“You guys aren’t even together—“ Ellie pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “Congratulations.” She intoned, running her hand through her hand. “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go check on—“
“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll talk to Dina.”
Meanwhile, you paced around the single person bathroom. Purse thrown to the ground, makeup smudged down your cheeks. Fists clenched at your sides, and every few minutes pounding a spot on your thigh that inflicted enough pain to briefly distract you from the pain inflicted on your heart. Dina doesn’t understand! You’re not a bad person for what happened that day. When will Ellie get the heat for what happened? Why does it always have to be you? It was always your fault.
So much time has passed, meaning you’ve thought about the altercation for a long time. Hell, it was all you thought about at times. You should’ve never put your hands on Ellie that way—you knew that. But, she shouldn’t have pushed you to do it either. That was her mistake. Pushing and prodding at someone she claimed to love. Ellie was aware of that, too. She wrote about it in that letter she hand delivered on her eighteenth birthday.
Wringing your hands out, you heaved. Emotions still weighing heavy on your heart. Her words cut you like a knife—triggering you. Before you met Tommy and Maria Miller, life was so much harder. Everything was your fault and your birth parents—and the numerous foster parents that you had—made sure that you knew that. It wasn’t fair then, and it wasn’t fair now.
What stopped your progressing thoughts was the gentle call of your name, and a soft knock. It was Ellie.
“Go away!” You sniffled, leaning over the sticky sink to get a look at your appearance. It was a tragedy.
“Please, just let me in. I don’t know what Dina said… But, I’m sure it was fucked up— look, she has her reasons.”
“She has her reasons—?!” You exclaim, looking at the door through the reflection.
“But that doesn’t make it right. I know.” You heard her lean against the door. “Please, y/n.”
Wiping your face, you sighed. Sniffling, you walked over to unlock the door, gulping. “It’s unlocked…” You spoke, weakly. Positioning yourself with your back against the sink, you crossed your arms. Watching her push inside the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Ellie pressed her back against the door, observing you with the softest pair of green eyes you’ve ever seen. It was charming. Through her thick eyelashes, pelvis leaning forward—like she was a child in trouble.
“I’m so sorry about Dina. I should’ve never invited you… I just thought things would be different.” She frowned, fiddling with her fingers in front of her body. Her fingernails had chipped black nail polish on them; focusing on that was easier than focusing on her.
“Well…” You dryly chuckled. “You thought wrong.” Slowly, you drag your eyes from her hands, to her face—avoiding her eyes, though. “Apparently, you’d be better off if I left… Or died; if it were Dina’s way.” Your voice trembled, tears falling from the corners of your eyes. Dina didn’t tell you to die, but that’s what her tone told you. All you were doing was existing. If that’s what stressed Ellie out then… Fuck. Maybe you should just croak, huh?
Ellie ran her hands over her face, taking quick steps towards you. “Fuck— I don’t know why she said that.” Her hand ran through her straight hair, frustrated at herself and Dina. “I—… I do want you here. She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about.” She reaches a hand out for you, but you flinch. There was a slight height difference to the pair of you—your heels caused you to look down at her. But, you weren’t looking down on her.
She was close enough for you to notice the orange-brown flecks in her irises. The ones you missed… So much, and desired wholly. However, you pushed yourself into the ceramic sink, fighting temptation. “Don’t tell me you actually believe what she said?” Her doe eyes looked up at you, demanding a response.
“I don’t know… It’s more than that, Ellie.” You analyze her features as inconspicuously as you could—which wasn’t possible. She noticed everything because she was doing the same thing.
Your bodies drew to each other like the opposite sides of conjoined magnets. Eyes intertwining and overcoming like they always did. Tensions were high, and you were in an enclosed space—your stomach rumbled with anticipation. “Tell me what it is, then.” The feeling of her fingers sliding up the curve of your elbow caused you huff, moving to the toilet to sit down. Cold air replacing where her fingers attempted to tether to you.
Ellie sighed, bunching her hand into a fist at her side. She knew what she was doing—after all, she was a pusher. It was hard to identify when to stop.
You dropped your head into your hands, forcing even breath from your lips. “It’s just… Old shit, okay? Dina struck a nerve.” You glanced at her through your hands, lips quivering.
Ellie took your previous spot, pondering. She knew about your life before your parents—how awful those people treated you; and she couldn’t understand why. You were a scorned person, like most of the kids you grew up with, but underneath it all you were soft. She’s witnessed that softness. And she will regret it for the rest of her life that she was the one to pull you from that that—all for dumb proof of trauma.
She realized too late that she was never alone in that traumatic suffering of the adoption system. After that day, she never wanted to see you hurt like that again. Or at all. Ellie wanted to make everything up to you.
Seeing those tears staining your cheeks; she wanted to kiss it better.
“I’ll talk to her.” The words fled from her mouth. Her old converse squeaked toward you, squatting before your sat figure on the filthy toilet. You turned your head, shutting your eyes and shivering at the thought of her. “Hey,” Her fingers grazed your jaw, pulling your eyes into her line of sight. “I will. She crossed the line— this isn’t my favorite version of you.” Her eyebrows deepened, pressing her lips into a firm line. She wanted to be level with you—not above or below.
Those words were music to your ears. Supple in its raspiness. The warm touch of her fingers on your face, you leaned into her hand. She had a favorite version of you? You reached up, gently gripping her wrist to pull it from you. Ellie shouldn’t have been touching you like this. But, even so, your bodies somehow gravitated toward one another. Eyes staring at each others parted lips, wanting. Needing. Her hand bracing on your thigh, pulling herself closer until your lips met.
Soft and forbidden. You gasped against her mouth, pulling away for a brief moment. Her olive eyes were pleading, and you just couldn’t say no. Being a victim of your flesh, your hand found its way to the back of her neck to pull her lips flush to yours. Mixed whines coming from the both of you; lips merging and meshing together. Creating something beautiful.
Every time you were physical with someone they were missing something. This was it! The passion, the history—the things that matter. The fucking chemistry; it was all there with Ellie. And, deep down, you knew that it was the only place you were going to find it.
She pushed into you, being guided by her carnal desire. Whining and growling into your mouth. Hands gripping at your hips, and the side of your backside. Ellie was hooked under a spell you concocted—some aphrodisiac that exuded from you. And she wanted to breathe more of you in until she couldn’t anymore. She was gluttonous.
Breaking her trance was a rough knock on the bathroom door. The two of you basically jumped apart; you falling into the toilet, nearly touching the water, her falling on the floor. Some of the glitter on your lips had rubbed off onto hers—it looked nice on her, but that was besides the point.
“Some people need to piss! Get out of the fucking bathroom!” Some heavy handed woman exclaimed from the other side.
A smile spread on her lips, hazy eyes watching as you pulled yourself up. “Fuck, Ellie. Why are you smiling?” You walk to the mirror, taking a look at yourself. You and Ellie had just kissed. The same Ellie who’s girlfriend is waiting for her back at the guesthouse. The pressure was already hitting you like a ton of bricks—Ellie was right, you had a terrible poker face. How could you forget about this? “Can you hand me that?” You pointed to the purse beside her.
She chuckled, standing up from the floor. Your purse was in her hand as she walked up behind you, handing it over. Her other snaking around your hips—clearly, still overcome. Taking the purse, you smack her hand away. “Enough!” You scold, deepening your eyebrows. She pouted, crossing her arms. Leaning her back against the wall, shutting her eyes. But it was soon replaced with a smirk.
Your fingers rummaged through your purse for your lipgloss. “This didn’t happen… This never happened…” You muttered to yourself. Once you found the sparkling tube, you began to apply it like a nervous tick. “I still don’t know what you keep finding so funny— nobody can find out about this, Ellie.” You turn to her, dropping your lipgloss back into your purse. “What just happened isn’t fucking funny—“
You were a homewrecker, a thief of girlfriends—watch out New York!
“You’re spiraling.”
“Yeah, and I have every reason to. This isn’t me. I’m not this person. You have a girlfriend!”
Ellie watched you ramble with a look of in awe in her eyes—you were fucked, and so was she. “I remember…” She couldn’t compel herself to care about the repercussions of hr actions; Ellie just wanted you. Even more now than before. She was given an inch, and she was ready to take a mile. Perhaps, longer if that was possible. Your ethics only made her want you more.
The glitter on her lips distracted you, causing you to reach your thumbs near her lips to wipe away the signs of you. Her wide eyes looked up at you, hands wrapping around your wrists. Where did she learn this type of behavior from? VHS porn?“Ellie, will you quit it?!” You stomped your foot, squeezing your eyes. “Fuck me.” You whisper to yourself, adjusting your purse.
“I’ll see you at home…” You mutter, placing your hand on the door handle.
“Am I not driving you?”
“No. You’re gonna stay here, mingle—fuck, I don’t care.” You shook your head. “Abby’s gonna take me home.” The words rushed from your lips because you were thinking and speaking at the same time. You needed an alibi and that’s what Abby was going to be.
The auburn-haired woman rolled her eyes, scoffing under her breath. Jealousy peaking inside of her like it did earlier. “Abby. Abby… The buff blonde you walked into the bar with— the one who was feelin’ you up.” She popped the p sound, nodding her head with searching eyes.
“She wasn’t feeling me up. I don’t think you know what feeling up looks like.”
“Show me, then.”
Your jaw almost dropped from its hinges, gasping at the woman before you. She was shameless, and you were the complete opposite—it was a recipe for disaster. “Like I said… I’ll see you at home.” You opened the door, slipping through to allow her some privacy. The people must’ve opted for the men’s restroom. Fucking freak. You thought, fighting the amused smile off your lips.
Adjusting your top, you approached Abby’s booth. She was surrounded by familiar faces—you knew them-ish. “Abs, can I talk to you for a second?” She looked up at you, blinking with slight confusion at your state.
“Oh, hi, y/n!” A short-haired woman grinned, wiggling her fingers at you.
You smiled at her, while Abby shimmied out of the booth. Taking her hand, you led her away from her friends, keeping her large hand in yours as you began to speak. “I know it’s early, but could you take me home? Like, now?”
She deepened her eyebrows, a hand dropping to your face, wiping at the mascara stains that had run down your cheeks. “Are these tears?” She bunched her eyebrows, gripping your chin and moving your head side to side. “I saw you run to the bathroom—“
“It’s not important, all right?” Your eyes peer up at the blonde woman, pressing your lips into a line. Pleading and batting your eyes at her—you really wanted to go home. And you weren’t necessarily doing it for Dina, it was more so because of her. As well as the fact that you had just made out with a woman who was spoken for. Whose girlfriend who is only ten minutes away, and who also offered to get champagne for Thanksgiving after you mentioned its absence. It was currently, probably, chilling in the fridge as all of this unfolded.
While you semi-sensually begged the woman to drive you home in her Jaguar, Ellie had gotten herself together in the bathroom. After you left, she released a joyful laugh once the door shut behind you. As if she had finished with making out with the hottest girl in school—very teenage-like. Her cheeks were flushed, blushing a warm mahogany through her freckles. You wanted her just as much as she wanted you; the kid proved that much.
But, then, a pang of guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. A fragment. Very small and minuscule.
It wasn’t right away; Ellie was certain that you thought of her to be cold based on how she was handling the situation. She had a girlfriend and found the situation amusing? You’re right—nothing was funny about what happened before you fell into the toilet and before she fell onto the floor. The both of you had managed to dig yourselves into a hole that she didn’t want to get out of. And she was sure you felt the same—she hoped you felt the same. Holes were fun, right?
Ellie wanted to keep digging deeper, and deeper, and deeper. She wanted to envelop herself with you, just like she used to. However, this time, she wasn’t planning on letting you go.
Cat was just something—someone she had to deal with in the meantime. She’s gonna fix it… Ellie just doesn’t know how, right now. She can’t think straight. Pun intended.
Leaving the bathroom, she checked her cell. Noticing the few messages her girlfriend had left her during the short period of time she had you to herself. Her avoidant nature caused her to skim them, then slap her phone shut.
“Everything good?” Jesse questioned, watching as she approached the table.
Ellie shoved her phone into her front pocket. “Yeah… Everything’s fine.” Her olive eyes averted to Dina. “Dude…?” She squinted her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Els. I went too far, I know.”
“I’m glad you know.” She sat in her chair, glancing over at you talking to the buff blonde. “What you said was fucked up, and I should be more mad at you, right now…”
She sighed, pouting her lips. “Well, thank you for your mercy, sire.” A smile creeped onto her lips.
“Dina,” Ellie narrowed her eyes, shaking her head.
Jesse side-eyed her, pressing his lips into an unimpressed line. She looked over at him, lips parting. “Just tryin’ to lighten up the mood. Excuse me.” Dina deepened her eyebrows, sliding down in her chair.
Ellie chortled, shaking her head once more, making sure to swing it far to get a glance at you. She watched you follow Abby back to her booth, telling them that you were leaving. Her hand guiding you, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. Fuck, that should’ve been Ellie. She hated watching you lean into her like that—shrinking yourself. That wasn’t you.
You were bold, opinionated, and despite your strict upbringing, you never shrunk. If anything, Maria and Tommy’s parenting gave you confidence. That used to intimidate Ellie, but it didn’t anymore. It influenced her.
As you walked out with Abby, Ellie gave an awkward wave, but you snapped your head in the other direction. You needed to clean your pallet, and that’s exactly what you were planning to do in that shiny black Jaguar.
When the door opened, the brisk, autumn air hit you, cooling your body down. But your mind was still set on using Abby as a cleanser—a handkerchief to wipe you of your mistakes.
You feigned a straightforward destination, giving her the address of your childhood home. But, halfway, you told her to pull over onto a dark dirt path. She made a joke, asking: Is this where you kill me and steal my car?
And you respond, full of need: I don’t want your stupid fucking car. I want you. Launching yourself over the center console, wrapping your arms around her face. You swing one of your legs over to straddle her in the driver’s seat. Hips grinding against her, shoving your tongue down her throat like she was going to leave you. Although, she wasn’t going anywhere—not with you on her lap, anyway.
Abby groaned into your mouth, gripping your ass over your jeans, pushing you harder against her. Messily, you begin to trail your lips down her jaw, toward the softness of her neck. Urgently nibbling at her skin. “Fuck, you’re eager…” Abby muttered through her heavy breathing. “I like this version of you.”
This isn’t my favorite version of you. Ellie’s voice echoed in your head. It frustrated you.
Warmth built up under the crotch of your jeans; the thick seam doing very little for the pleasure you wanted. “Please, Abby…” You breathed into her ear, tugging at the silver ring through her cartilage. “Touch me.” Reaching for her hand, you place between your legs, cupping her hand as she groped you. Meeting her eyes, you taunted her, chewing on your bottom lip.
The blonde didn’t hesitate, unbuttoning your jeans and shoving her hand inside. She was always quick to give rather than receive—listening to any command you spoke. As the pads of her fingers contact with where you needed her the most, you sighed. “You’re so wet for me already…”
It was debatable whether it was for her or not. With your eyes squeezed shut, you imagined the earthy, olive eyes of your past lover. The softness of the her lips. The desperation in which she put her all into pleasing you—it was experienced before. But, at that point, you were amateurs. So much has changed since then. You were curious how much, though. “All for you.” You whined, rocking your hips against her hand. Lying through your teeth.
She pressed two fingers into you, pushing a moan from your throat. Hands gripping her shoulders, bracing your weight. You imagined them to be her fingers curling deep inside of you—pulling sounds from you like a puppeteer.
You were worser than you thought.
Abby was supposed to be a pallet cleanser, but instead she was just a vessel for your horny fantasies.
The palm of her hand rubbed against your clit, pushing you closer to an edge you wanted to fall off of. A tightness built in the pit of your stomach—burning like a prosperous flame; standing by to erupt. “Ah… Fuck, yes!” You lewdly affirmed, fingers gripping the roots of her hair, back arching into her. The smell of lavender shampoo wafting into your nose from how close you were.
Ellie would never wash her hair with lavender shampoo. She stuck to sweeter, muskier smells. The one’s you liked.
Your legs trembled around her hips, jolting with every stroke and thrust. Her ministrations intensifying causing the sounds from your lips to get louder, laced with desire. “Abby,” You trembled with a warning tone. “I’m g—gonna… Fuck, I’m comi—“ Your choppy words are cut off with the snapping of a band in your stomach—spreading over you like a brisk gust of wind. Shocking your body into a brief state of paralysis against her strong frame.
She coax’s you through your orgasm, with that same come hither motion that got you there to begin with. Although, she was so quiet. That’s when clarity hit you, as you shakily rocked against her hand. Reaching down, you grip her wrist, kissing the pressure point under her ear. “Can you check the time f’me?” You sweetly ask, still subtly, rutting against her.
Abby checked the watch on her wrist. “Eleven-something.” She hummed into your neck.
“Eleven-somethin’, huh?” You tease, lifting off her, trying to settle back into the passenger seat. “I should probably get home…” You zipped and buttoned your pants. Normally, you’d be eager to return the favor, but your plan didn’t work—and, frankly, that irritated you. That nerdy, auburn-haired, freckled woman, that you knew so well, had burrowed herself under your skin already. It was a recipe for disaster.
There was a twitch in Abby’s brow at your sudden departure from her. She felt that bite of coldness; it was something she wasn’t used to. Nonetheless, she drove you home. With you leaning on the window, watching dark, shedding trees pass you by. All the way until you felt that familiar shift from side to side as you cruised over the gravel that led to your childhood home.
“How long are you gonna be here for?” You asked as she pulled to a stop, where Ellie’s car was previously parked. It was out of courtesy to wonder; these parts of town wasn’t really for people like her.
“Until the end of the week, then back to work.” She turned toward you, pushing her hair behind her ear. “When am I gonna see you again?” Record scratch. Abby Anderson has never asked you that. She was always aloof and carefree. I’m too busy. Let me check my schedule.
You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips. “I’m really tying to spend some time with my family, but— uhm… I’ll call you, okay?” Leaning over the console, you place a lush smooch on her lips—riding on the confidence from her lack thereof.
Getting out of her expensive car, you adjust your clothing before walking into your house. Thankfully, the lights were off, meaning your parents were asleep. Thank, God. You looked awful, and you preferred not to be questioned on your state, Ellie’s whereabouts, and who took you home.
Gently, you shut the door behind you, keys jiggling in your hand. Slipping out of your heels, you tiptoed toward the fridge just to prove something to yourself. The white light from the fridge illuminated your deadpanned expression as two tall bottles of champagne sat on the second shelf. Nobody likes champagne that much. You rolled your eyes, scoffing under your breath.
Cat didn’t deserve any of what happened tonight, and you hated that.
When you got to your bedroom, you wasted no time to peel the clothes from your body. Falling atop of your mattress like a starfish. Before you slipped under the covers, you pulled your laptop onto your stomach to log into your MySpace. There was a red notification on your activity icon. When you click on it, StarlightWilliams had added you back—you were mutuals now. The pads of your fingers touched your lips, remembering the softness of hers from that moment in the bathroom. The pressure of her slender fingers gripping your sides—wistfully you sighed, slumping your head against the fluffy pillows and stuffed animals against your headboard.
Suddenly, your computer makes a sound—a ping. You sit up, squinting at the incoming notification.
kit_cat79 wants to be your friend!
What a coincidence. The website exposes whether you were online or not—you couldn’t hide from her. So, you decided to add her back. Cat’s picture was of her with her tongue out, dark bangs styled to the side. You didn’t realize that she had a tongue piercing—could she get any cooler? Maybe you should get a tongue piercing.
Her mood hadn’t been recently updated, but it was: Optimistic.
Her bio didn’t over explain much, but said more than her freckled counterpart: my name is cat and i do tattoo’s !! message me for inquiries (or ur a loser). Your eyes and cursor skimmed her account, not paying attention to the smaller details. Quickly, you navigated to the pictures and videos. There were some pieces of her work, candids of Ellie, pictures of her at band shows—
kit_cat79: hey… i know it’s late, but that was you who just got back, right?
The messages appeared at the bottom left corner of the screen, blinking green.
BugsWritersRoom: Hey, yeah. That was me…
Duh.
kit_cat79: i thought you went with ellie in her truck. also… where is she? she’s not answering my texts.
Was she worried about her? Or was her questioning coming from a place of distrust? Or, a secret third option... you had a bad case of paranoia.
BugsWritersRoom: She’s still at TB. I’m sure she’s just distracted catching up with Jesse and Dina.
kit_cat79: oh…
kit_cat79: that was some car you pulled up in...
She was wanting to start conversation, but you were too tired. You didn’t want to think about, or talk to another person about Abby. Let alone, talk about her with Cat. No offense. Sleep is the only time when your mind was going to finally rest, and you can resume thinking tomorrow.
Leaving her message on seen, you shut your laptop, pushing it to the side. You took Cat’s message as a sign to shut it down, reaching to click your lamp off.
You allowed sleep to take over, cuddling into your pillows as if it were a body. Hitching your leg over it, tugging it to your chest. Could you have been more evident in your loneliness? In your restless dreams, your brain scoured for something to show you. Something relevant, of course.
Olive eyes, freckles, prominent beauty mark—it was obvious what images it was looking for. Ellie.
By the time the sun lingered on the horizon, a tragic alarming song sang in unison to wake you—the sound of your ancient alarm, and the sound of the rooster sat atop of the chicken coop. Groaning into the pillow you held, squinting your eyes open. It had pulled you from a dream that was… Certainly, a dream. It was untoward, lewd; just straight up nasty.
There was a wetness between your legs that was the first to get your attention. Out of shameful curiosity, you reached your hand under your shorts; hoping it wasn’t your period suprising you. Pulling your fingers out, there was an absence of the dark hue that was a symbol of your menstrual cycle. It was fairly clear, shiny, and slick. You were a victim of a wet dream. How juvenile.
The sight of it only made your hornier. So, while you still had time, you jumped for one of the bags you brought. You were expected for morning chores, but there was always time to rub one out.
Taking the battery-powered silver bullet from you bag, you attempt to switch it on but it doesn’t respond. You even switch the batteries around, blowing into the port. “Come on…” You complain, but it still it doesn’t adhere to you.
You groan, falling back into your pillows. There was nothing wrong with going old school, but you were a creature of habit.
Sliding your hand down your body, you slip under your shorts and underwear. It didn’t take long for you to completely rouse yourself, blinking your eyes shut to fall into your imagination. Usually, the best material was your most recent hookup—or some celebrity crush that you couldn’t get over.
The movement of your finger mirrored a strong blonde who always aimed to please you. You could imagine yourself gripping her long, silky hair, pushing her into your pussy—devouring you. Feeling her hands gripping your thighs, anchoring them to the mattress.
You relished in the feeling that was slowly washing over you. So much so that when the image of blonde hair began to fade and be replaced by short auburn strands, you barely noticed. Subconsciously, replicating the dream that kept you snug as a bug all through the night.
Your ministrations quickened as you neared finality. Bottom lip slipping between your teeth. Soft, repressed moans sneaking through them as your hand clutched your breast, thumbing your sensitive nipple. The serotonin levels increasing with every swipe and slide. Fuck, El—
Downstairs, the artist peeled dried paint from her fingers, waiting for you. Staying out late knowing she had to get up for chores was a huge mistake. There were many mistakes that happened last night. Another being, ignoring Cat’s messages. Ellie pulled into the driveway not too much later than you—it was nearing one o’clock.
When she entered the guesthouse, shrugging off her jacket—with a mind busier than New York City herself—Cat was found in the small living room. With her thin eyebrows bunched together and her arms crossed over her chest. Dressed in nothing but a fitted tank top and cheeky underwear.
Ellie had looked at her with a stressed look, “What are you still doing up?” Walking past her to the bedroom to undress and unwind. Cat scoffed, following her to the bedroom. Slippered feet stomping behind the artist.
“What am I doing up?!” She chided, twitching toward her. “I’ve been texting you all night, Ellie. You couldn’t respond to one?”
The freckled woman plopped onto her side of the bed, kicking off her shoes. She pretty much saw the messages as they were coming in; Ellie just didn’t have the nerve to respond. She didn’t feel like it. Not after what happened in the bathroom—she couldn’t come back from that. Hell, she didn’t want to come back from that. The only image replaying in her mind was your lips on hers. Your hands imbedded in her hair. The wanton sounds coming from you that she wanted to hear on again, and again, and again. That feeling of being between your legs...
And, let’s not even get into how it felt to see you leave with Abby. That ruined her whole night. Not even Jesse could cheer her up.
She ran a hand through her hair, looking over her shoulder with a tired expression. “Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” She began, standing to her feet to remove her jeans. “We just got too carried away talkin’ and whatnot.” Walking to the bathroom in the bedroom, she shed her shirt from her body. Ellie found it too easy to lie—she’s always been good at it. And, Cat was pretty gullible. But she had to throw a monkey wrench in there to really calm her down.
“Turns out… Jesse got Dina pregnant.”
“What?”
She turned on the shower, then peaked out of the doorway. “Yeah, how crazy is that?”
The tattooed girl fell onto the edge of the bed, eyes casting toward the ground, full of uncertainty. “Super crazy…”
Noticing the subtle dejection in her features, Ellie sighed. Leaving the doorframe as the shower ran hot in the background. She appeared before her, reaching her hand down to lift her chin. “Kitty Cat,” Her voice was soft and oh, so forgiving. “I should’ve responded to your texts— I’m an asshole. Let me make it up to you…” She sultrily offered, caressing the softness of her chin with her thumb.
And that’s what she did. Ellie made it up to her girlfriend of almost a year. By fucking her in the shower hard enough to make her forget about all of her uncertainties.
She had a long night.
This morning, she got up an hour earlier to get a better start on her sketch—she even started incorporating her oil paints. That’s what was stuck to her hands. The coloring in of her portrait of you in front of that shed. She felt the need to freeze that moment in time; where you embraced each other in the arms of company for the first time in too long. That hazardous kiss you shared in that sticky bathroom at the Tipsy Bison inspired her to color in the lines.
“I normally hear her up and movin’ around… She’s taking longer than I thought she would.” Maria commented, munching on a buttered bagel. “How long were you two out last night?”
Ellie inhaled, lifting her eyebrows in thought. “I got back around one, but y/n came back earlier than I did. She got a ride from a friend.” She shrugged, the ends of her lips curling, mischievously. “I think her name’s… Abby.” Ellie added, glancing between the two parents.
“Hm. What made her leave early—?” Tommy began to ask, but he stopped himself. He frowned, leaning his elbows on the counter, peering at the auburn-haired woman across from him. “How’s Dina doin’?”
She chuckled. “Still pissed, if that’s what you’re getting at?” Ellie went from peeling paint off her fingers, to fiddling with them. “They got into a bit of a…”
“Fight?” The blonde woman questioned, deepening her arched eyebrows. She never liked hearing about you fighting—or seeing it. That was a strictness Maria was never going to get rid of. Tommy used to get into fights a lot, finding himself locked behind iron bars at the county jail. But that was years before he moved to New York. When he still lived in Texas with Joel.
“No.” Ellie bunched her eyebrows in defense, shaking her head. “It was an argument, but it didn’t last long. I handled it.”
Steps sounded from the stairs, silencing the three. Pairs of eyes peered up the stairs, hoping that it was you stalking down the steps—but it wasn’t. When he began clearing his throat and coughing, loudly, they knew it was Joel. “Goddamnit…” Tommy rolled his eyes, slapping his hand against his thighs.
“Good mornin’ to you, too, Tommy.” Joel scoffed.
He huffed, licking his lips. Just like you did when you grew irritated—Tommy’s antics had rubbed off on you. “Is there any signs of life from my kids' room—? Because she should’ve been down here five minutes ago.” He looked to Joel before glancing at his watch. “Maria and I planned for her to teach Ellie how to do our grocery shipments.”
“Grocery shipments?” Ellie cast her earthy eyes toward Maria.
“It’s a lot of information, but I’m sure you’ll catch on just fine, Ellie.” She placed her hand atop of hers, pressing her lips into a smile. “If only your teacher could be timely…” Maria sighed.
The freckled artist stood up straight, pursing her lips. “I can go check and see if she’s up…” She offered, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m sure she is— maybe she just needs a little nudge. I had rough time this mornin’, too.” To be frank, offering to grab you from the second floor of the house was clouded with selfish intentions. Ellie hadn’t seen your bedroom since she was seventeen. She couldn’t help but wonder if anything had changed.
And, she wanted a useful reason to talk to you.
Your parents are wondering what the hell you’re doing— also, how was our kiss from 1-10?
Hey, you’re supposed to be teaching me about grocery shipments, right now— hypothetically, would you kiss me again… Or?
She was such a loser for you; she always has been. “If you don’t mind. I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing you more than me.” Tommy chuckled, nudging his wife but she barely broke a smile. Staring her husband down with icy, blue eyes.
Ellie’s eyebrows twitched, but she decided not to interact with whatever happened there. Quickly, moving to the stairs to find you.
What she could remember about your room was the pink wallpaper and the posters. You used to be very persistent in upgrading old ones for new ones—saving the old ones in your closet. She found it amusing how you could never get over anything; you liked to collect things. As many things as possible—posters, collectors items, superhero figurines—you were an undercover geek!
The fascination you had with catwoman was insane. But, understandable.
The stairs of your home was guided by many picture frames. Pictures of you lining the walls. The bottom starting with photos of you when you still went heavy on the eyeliner and hairspray; gradually preceding with much happier images of you. The final photo being the whole family together, including Ellie. It was taken after your college graduation, in front of the house. You were sandwiched between your grinning parents while Joel and Ellie were on both ends; her sporting a timid smile, and him grinning just like his brother.
She was so proud of you that day, but didn’t dare to enunciate that how she really wanted to. At the time, the shoulder you gave her was ice cold. Brisker than the harsh weather of the east coast.
When she emerged at the top step, the first door in front of the stairs was cracked open. But that wasn’t your bedroom, that was your parents’ bedroom. Down the hall, to the right, after passing an open floor planned media space, was the guest room. Where Joel was spending his nights. A little further down that hall was your bedroom.
It was the best spot in the house. Your bedroom have the best view of the front of the house, and was far enough from the prying ears of curious parents.
Neither you or Ellie were innocent teenagers—you both couldn’t wait to get some alone time, and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other once you started. It was the perfect place for late night shenanigans.
Again, some things never change, huh?
Strolling toward your door, Ellie raises her hand to give a soft knock. But she pauses at the faint sounds coming from under your door. Breathy whines, the light rocking of your old, rickety bed frame. Could she hear just how wet you were from outside your door?
She leaned closer to the brown door, her bottom lip slotting between her teeth. Ellie wanted to be sure she was hearing correctly, of course. She heard you cursing and swearing, but nothing shocked her more than when she heard you squeak her name. “Fuck, Ellie…”
Apparently, Ellie wasn’t the only one who was overcome. Wanton sounds filled her ears like a mantra before she decided to interfere. Knock, knock! She heard you gasp.
“It’s Ellie... Your parents are gonna throw bitch-fits in T-minus five minutes if you’re not downstairs soon.” Ellie kept herself composed, using her hand to hold her weight against the wall. She heard you shuffling behind your door, cursing under your breath.
“I’ll be down in, like, five minutes!” You shout, the sound of quick maneuvering being heard from Ellie’s side of the door.
She wanted you to open the door, just to get a glimpse of that blissed out look on your face—Ellie anticipated that flustered look. Forgetting about her own blushing cheeks after hearing you say her name while touching yourself. She felt like a fucking king.
Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she walked to the media space. Lifting up CDs, VHS tapes, and eyeing thick books that haven’t been touched in years to pass the time. Fuck, Ellie—still played in her mind like a record. There wasn’t any scratching, only smooth playing; no interruptions.
When you appeared from your room, dressed in your working cowboy boots, a long-sleeve Abercrombie shirt and bootcut jeans—there was a shit-eating grin that just wouldn’t leave her face. Ellie turned around to lay her eyes on you, unable to help but ogle. “Do you have a condition that you’re not mentioning? Perhaps, a tumor—? Since you can’t help yourself when it comes to laughing…” You grumble, placing your hands on your hips.
Your words only made her smile more. The more time the two of you spent together, the more snarky you were becoming—she missed that. “Turns out, under some circumstances… I can be a morning person. Some circumstances.” She muttered, mainly to herself but she didn't mind if you heard. Ellie deliberated with herself on whether she was going to expose what she heard you say… Or, if she was going to hold onto it. Similar to how victorians put the hair of their lover’s into lockets.
“Whatever, Els.” You rolled your eyes, loosely calling her by that nickname, again. Ignoring the harshness of her eyes, you passed her to descend the wooden stairs. There was still a mindless sleepiness to you. It was charming to your past lover, as she followed behind you—floating on air. Thinking about how great of an idea it was to come back this year.
And, still, Ellie was barely harbored with guilt. Even more so when she inspected your features, intently. When her thoughts wandered into the gutters of her creative mind—spreading you wide in all of your glory.
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taglist: @autisticintr0vert , @liasxeatt , @hopingforgoodblogs , @lia-winther , @macaroni676 , @tobiotruther , @anewkindofloove , @fatbootymuncher (i love your user lmao) , @maiaska
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kinardstits · 2 months ago
Text
(@ AO3. Bucktommy mpreg, cos that's what we're doing now lmao)
There’s no nausea.
No bolting from the kitchen when Melton insists on heating his tuna salad.
No tears, no emotional outbursts, nothing to tip Tommy off until the bell rings and he jumps off his seat, only to have his vision go white and the world tilt into darkness.
He wakes to Lucy taking his blood pressure; to his Captain, of all people, holding his legs up in her lap.
Tommy closes his eyes, swallowing the embarrassment.
.
He thought it was exhaustion.
Tommy knew he shouldn’t–
He caused this.
Ev– Buck had looked at him, all wide smiles and stars in his eyes, and he had gotten up and left, absolutely terrified in the face of the other’s worship.
So, when he began to have trouble sleeping, lost his appetite, began to isolate–
He deserved it. That was punishment.
The results in his shaky hands feel worse than that.
“Mr. Kinard?” Tommy barely reacts besides looking up at the nurse. She smiles back, not unlike a sympathetic wince. “Is there anyone you would like me to call?”
Tommy ought to say no.
He nods instead.
.
The bench is warm from the sun. It could be enough to ward off the chill that seemed to seep into his bones.
It’s not.
Someone comes to a stop beside him. They wait for a beat before they sit, knee knocking into his. “Hey.”
To his horror, Tommy feels tears flood his vision. “Hey.”
Eddie frowns, leaning forward in his seat to try and catch Tommy’s gaze. He looks concerned yet wary, watching him so closely Tommy feels like his skin is being peeled back. “I was surprised when the hospital called me.” He said, eyes flickering between Tommy’s face and the envelope in his hands. “I thought you had changed your emergency contact to…”
Tommy tries not to wince as Eddie trails off. “I nearly did.” He sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve. “Had the paperwork filled and everything, but then I thought I wouldn’t want a stranger to tell him I’d died, so.” He shrugs.
“You added me?”
Tommy nods. “Yeah.”
Eddie is silent for a bit before saying, “Well, you’re a fucking asshole.” And Tommy lets a laugh, closely resembling a sob. “Cos I wouldn’t want that either.”
“Sorry. I should probably change it–”
“Don’t you dare,” Eddie glares before his eyes flicker to the envelope again. “Is that what this is? Are you–?”
“Dying?” Tommy asks and Eddie nods, face resolute. He shakes his head, “Not any more than the regular living being.” Before the other can ask, he offers him the envelope.
Eddie hesitates, however. “Are you sure?”
“I, uh.” And Tommy is back to blinking back tears, trying to focus on anything other than whatever his life is at the moment. “I don’t know what to do.” He confesses. “For the first time since I left the military, I’m truly at a loss, Eddie, and I know, I know I hurt Buck and that he certainly got you in the divorce, but. I, uh. I don’t have many friends. I didn’t know who else to talk to.”
Concerned, and more than a little curious, Eddie carefully extracts the envelope from Tommy’s shaky fingers. They’re both silent save for the sound of paper rustling and Tommy feels his heart leap into his throat the moment Eddie seems to stop breathing beside him. “Tommy.”
“My parents got me tested as a child. I believed the paperwork– I never thought to check.”
“You shouldn’t have had to,” Eddie tries to soothe, reaching out to curl a hand around one of Tommy’s wrists.
“I’m forty-one years old,” Tommy chokes out, tears finally falling onto his jeans. He stares as the droplets soak into the fabric. “I don’t– I never expected this .”
Eddie’s face becomes a complicated mess. “Well, if you’re having unprotected sex, what did you expect? A flatscreen?” He backpedals quickly when Tommy stands, ripping his wrist out of his hand. “I’m sorry– I’m trying to lighten the mood–”
“Very fucking poorly–”
“I know, it sounded better in my head– Whoa.”
Tommy blinks and he’s back on the bench, lightheaded. “Oh, uh. Thanks.”
Eddie’s staring at him, the paramedic in him alert. “What else did the nurses tell you?”
“Uh. To set up an appointment with an Ob-Gyn. To– To eat, yeah. My glucose’s low.”
And Eddie just keeps on staring, eyes narrowing. “And they didn’t give you anything while you were inside?” When Tommy shakes his head, he visibly bites back a curse. “Well, c’mon then. I know a place with the best breakfast burritos in the whole of LA.” Eddie pauses, then leans in. “Don’t tell Abuela.”
.
Tommy begins to feel normal around the last mouthful of his second burrito, sighing almost obscenely at the mix of salsa, cheesy eggs, and sausage invading his palate.
The cilantro alone could drag a moan out of him.
He hates cilantro.
It tastes like soap.
(It tastes like heaven.)
Eddie watches him with thinly veiled amusement, sipping at his latte and pushing his last burrito toward Tommy. “You look like you haven’t seen food in weeks.”
Tommy shrugs, already biting into the offered treat. “Haven’t had much appetite, to be honest. Since.”
They fall silent then, sitting in the bed of Eddie’s truck somewhere along the coast. “Why did you do it?” Eddie eventually caves, asking the question that Tommy’s certain had been burning at the tip of his tongue since he got the call. “Buck’s been miserable, and you, well.” He snorts. “You look like roadkill.”
“Hm, flatterer.”
“And you’re an expert at deflecting. Trust me, takes one to know one.” Eddie takes another sip of his coffee. After so long with a fuzzy caterpillar on his lip, he looks strange bare-faced. “Spill.”
Tommy returns his gaze to his food. “I’m sure Buck has told you everything there is to know.”
“From his point of view, yeah. I want to know yours, too. I’m sure you had a reason.” When Tommy stares at him in wonder, Eddie shrugs self-consciously. “I’m not saying I agree with what you did or why you did it– I’m sure your reasoning’s absolute horse shit. Just that it probably made sense to you.”
Picking at the frayed edges of the paper wrap, Tommy considers his words before, “He asked me to move in.”
“I know.”
“He never even told me he loved me.”
Eddie pauses and lowers his styrofoam cup. “Ever?”
Tommy shakes his head, letting out a humorless chuckle. “He found out about Abby and pulled away. Next thing I know, I’m knocking on his door for date night and he’s talking about how confident I am, about how I’m an inspiration for him. Then, he asks me to move in.” Appetite forgotten, he re-wraps the burrito and sets it aside. Picks up his chamomile tea and makes a show of blowing on it, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. “It hit me then that he was infatuated by the Tommy in his head, not me.” He snorts humorlessly. “I barely came out four years ago, Eddie. I’m not confident, I’m just a coward, but Ev– Buck? He has been cruising ahead, speedrunning through his queer experience and I just. I couldn’t keep up anymore.
Tommy sips at his tea and burns the tip of his tongue. He continues. “I realized I had fallen in love with someone who was attracted to a polished, sanitized version of me. I couldn’t– I wanted to say yes. For a second, he asked me to move in, and Eddie, I was so happy. But then reality came crashing down and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take that leap.”
“So, you broke it off.”
Tommy nodded. “Better to do it now and survive the hurt than to have to restart my life when Buck eventually sees all of me and realizes he made a mistake.” He sniffs and mentally blames it on the sea breeze. “I wouldn’t survive it.”
They fall silent again but then Eddie is snorting, shaking his head. “You’re both absolute imbéciles.”
“I know just enough Spanish to know you’re insulting me.”
“Oh, I am, rest assured.” Eddie throws back the last of his coffee before he sets the cup aside. “Buck was, well. Buck. Steamrolling ahead, as usual, I get that, but you? You self-sabotaged, man.”
“I looked out for myself. Maybe that’s selfish–”
“A little bit, yeah. At the same time, it’s self-preservation. Can we blame a hurt animal for lashing out?”
“Therapy is doing you wonders, huh.”
“Yeah, maybe you should consider it.” Eddie bit back. “Point is– You both need to sit down and talk. Tell him what you told me.”
“He needs to know what’s out there, to know for sure what he wants or if this was just some, some bi-curious experiment –”
“Shut the fuck up.” Eddie cut in, finally mad. “I’ve known Buck for a very long time, now, and I can tell you that this is the most settled and sure of himself he has ever been. You’re scared, and I get that, but don’t talk like he’s not a thirty-three-year-old adult, capable of knowing what he wants.”
That shuts Tommy right up and he looks away again, gripping his cup hard enough that some of the tea spills out onto his fingers. He focuses on the scorch rather than the glare burning into the side of his face. “Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? It’s done. We’re done.”
“Not if you reach out to him, especially now.”
Tommy flinches so violently he physically recoils. “No, most definitely not now .” He spats, suddenly angry. Is it the implication, the tone of voice? And from Eddie, no less, for so long defined by the surprise of parenthood. “What are you suggesting here, man? That I– that I trap–”
He can’t say it.
If he says it, it becomes true, doesn’t it?
Eddie, however, has no such qualms. “I’m not suggesting anything, Tommy.” He softens before delivering the blow. “You’re pregnant. You just found out. No one’s baby-trapping anyone.”
“But that’s what’ll happen.” Tommy chokes out and he realizes that the feeling that had lodged itself in his throat since his test results came back was anxiety. “Evan has always wanted a family. He’ll want to be there, every step of the way. He’ll feel obligated, Eddie.”
“And that’s bad, why?” Eddie wonders. “Are you afraid he’ll resent you for some reason or are you afraid you won’t be able to keep up the walls you built around your heart?”
“Both.”
“Talk to him.”
“I don’t know if I should. Not yet.” At the other’s frown, Tommy is quick to explain. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell him– I know I have to. It’s only right and I will do it, but.” He pauses, looking away. He eyes the tide. “There might not even be a baby by the end of the week.”
“Don’t say that–”
“It’s a geriatric pregnancy, Eddie. Never mind genetic disorders, miscarriage rates are through the roof. Know what else is through the roof? My blood pressure.”
“I know, I saw your results. That doesn’t mean there isn’t hope.” Eddie argues, then pauses, considering. “I mean. Do you even want this?”
Tommy stares at him, trying to think of an answer before settling on, “I don’t know.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not saying– I really don’t know. I didn’t even know I was a carrier. It feels like this is a hypothetical situation happening to a hypothetical Tommy, only at the end of forty weeks a whole human will burst out of me, and I will be responsible for them for the rest of my life.”
Eddie’s silent, watching him, before he scoots closer and asks in a soft tone, “Are you scared?”
“I’m terrified.”
And Tommy sobs.
.
By the time his first appointment arrives, Tommy still hasn’t been able to tell Evan.
He keeps staring at their messages, starts to type even, but then– deflates.
What could he even say?
‘Hey, I’m pregnant. Can we talk?’ No, too direct.
‘Hi. We need to talk.’ Too catastrophic, Evan would spiral– not exactly the vibe he wants to go for.
Should he try a meme?
Before Tommy can decide, he’s called by a nurse and soon enough he’s lying on a stretcher, getting cold gel poured on his abs and being prodded in the bladder with the stick from hell.
They’re hard to find because of his muscle mass and so, so tiny but they’re there, wiggling in the small monitor.
He's eight weeks pregnant.
He's due in the summer.
(He hopes with all his heart he gets that far.)
When he can finally pull his pants back up, his eyes are red and swollen, and the fast drumming of a tiny heart keeps echoing in his ears, two printed sonograms in his hands. One, Tommy will keep.
The other, he will give it to Evan.
He schedules his next appointment before he leaves, unaware of Maddie Buckley-Han’s narrow-eyed gaze locked onto him.
.
“You’re welcome, by the way.”
Tommy rolls his eyes, elbows deep in soapy water. “Am I?”
Eddie takes the bait, narrowing his eyes. “I did you a favor by taking his phone away. Or would you have been ready to talk to Buck had he called you today?”
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“–You’re a bit of a bitch, anyone ever told you that?”
“Hm. What was it you said the other day? Takes one to know one?”
Eddie tips his beer towards him, trying not to grin. “Touché.”
They fall into a comfortable silence, interrupted only by the sound of rinsing dishes and pages being turned. When Eddie closes the small notebook and Tommy wipes his hands on a rag, he asks, “So, what’s the prognosis, doc?”
Eddie mock glares at him, poking the rows of neat results Tommy diligently writes down every day. “All good, so far. Blood pressure seems to fluctuate a bit, but nothing too serious. Glucose levels could use some work, however.”
At the other’s pointed stare, Tommy crumbles. “ You keep bringing me banana bread.”
“I am not physically capable of eating all the loaves Buck thrusts my way–”
“Then why bring them to me if you’re gonna bitch at me for my sugar levels?”
“Cos, I keep expecting you to take them with you to Harbor, not eat them all!”
“Since you began bringing me these, toasted banana bread is literally all I can think about. Nothing else compares. Do not fucking judge me, Diaz–”
“– What in the actual flying fuck .”
Tommy does not think.
One moment he’s arguing with his friend, the next he has a frying pan in hand, ready to face the intruder that had made his way into his house with nothing but cast iron and Muay Thai.
Ev– Buck just stands there, eyes flickering between the pan and Tommy and Eddie. He narrows his eyes, nostrils flaring, and repeats, “What the fuck .”
“How did you get in?” Eddie asks, looking like a deer in headlights.
“Still have a key. Why are you here?”
Eddie seems to take a second to formulate a reply before what escapes him is, “Why can’t I be here?”
“Oh boy,” Tommy murmurs, lowering the pan.
“Why can’t– What – He broke my heart –!”
“And he was my friend first, or did you forget you nearly broke my ankle over his dick –”
“Guys–” Tommy tries to interrupt but quickly shuts his mouth, being glared at by the other two.
“You know I’ve been wanting to reach out,” Buck argues, shaking the phone in his hand for good measure. “You wouldn’t let me! You never even told me you kept in touch!”
“What would you have done if I had?” Eddie barks back. “I couldn’t even say his name the first week because you would pout and scowl your way into a corner!”
“I do not pout,” Evan snaps, bottom lip jutting out in what was clearly a pout.
Nerves fraying, and frankly growing tired of all the shouting in his own goddamn house, Tommy bangs the pan down on the countertop with finality. The others instantly shut up, eyeing him and the potential weapon warily. “Buck,” He tries not to wince at the glare now turned on him. “Why are you here?”
Buck hesitates, looking between him and Eddie before he seemingly decides his best friend can wait to receive a piece of his mind. To Tommy's confusion, he walks further into the kitchen and then rounds the island, stopping and staring at him rather than using his words.
Tommy shifts, uncomfortable and feeling more exposed under Buck's scrutinizing gaze than he ever felt while naked with the other man. Eventually, the other’s entire posture shifts and, to Tommy’s surprise, goes soft . “–You look so tired .”
“Uh. Thanks?” Tommy tries to laugh it off, exchanging a confused look with Eddie.
Then, Buck pulls the rug out from under him. “Are you taking prenatal vitamins?”
Tommy stares, stunned into silence while Eddie lets out a small sigh.
He thinks of deflecting. Of making a joke, throwing in a finger gun or two, but his body betrays him, refusing to let him run.
He's frozen and clammy and Evan's eyes are so sad –
He nearly misses the stool behind him.
There are voices around him, but they're garbled– it feels like there is cotton in his ears, in his brain, he can't think . There's only all-consuming anxiety.
–And pain.
Oh shit, there's pain –
Tommy hisses, pulling back from the knuckles digging into his sternum. “Sorry,” Eddie apologizes, not sorry at all, eyeing him carefully. Tommy slowly becomes aware of his other hand, tightly wrapped around his wrist with a thumb pressing into his pulse point. “You okay?”
“How did you know?” Tommy asks instead, looking over Eddie's shoulder at Buck.
Buck fidgets, looking like he wants to shove Eddie aside and take over. “Maddie's pregnant,” he explains. “You share the same obstetrician.”
Tommy sighs with his whole body, feeling the sting of frustrated tears at the corner of his eyes. Of course, he thinks. Los Angeles and they just had to share the same doctor.
Nothing could ever be easy for Tommy.
“I didn't know you were a carrier.” Buck continues.
Tommy huffs out a weak laugh, watching Eddie as he pulls back and goes fishing for his blood pressure monitor. He couldn't look Evan in the eyes anymore. “Neither did I until– until .”
“When did you find out?”
“Two weeks and four days ago,” Tommy replies almost automatically. Should Buck ask, he could even give him the time.
(One tends to remember every detail when one's life fundamentally changes.)
(Thirty-eight past eight in the morning. Tuesday. It was sunny, as it often is in LA.)
“When did Eddie know?” Buck asks, and ah. He’s angry. He’s pissed, in fact.
Tommy closes his eyes and rubs his face with both hands, pressing the pads of his fingers into his eyeballs until he sees stars. “I’m sorry,” He eventually mumbles. “He’s– He’s my emergency contact. I didn’t know who else to call after.”
He feels rather than sees Buck sit on the stool beside his. “You could have called me .”
Tommy looks up then, squinting at the other as his eyes clear up. “Would you have picked up?” He asks, beginning to match Buck’s resentment. “Had I called you two weeks ago, would you have taken it?”
Buck holds his gaze for a beat, then two, before he finally looks away, anger fading partially into resignation. “I don’t know.”
“There’s your answer, then.”
“I still deserved to know.” Tommy scoffs out a laugh, shaking his head, but Buck doesn’t let up. “Or didn’t I? Cos the timeline– It’s mine, right?”
“Wow,” Tommy stands then, trying and failing to hide the hurt the question caused. He vaguely hears Eddie mutter a soft ‘ dios mio ’ to their left. “I– Wow .”
Buck seems to realize his mistake as he quickly jumps to his feet as well, eyes wide. “Not– Not that I’m implying–”
“Well, you just fucking did .”
“I’m sorry,” Buck continues, visibly upset. “I didn’t mean– I’m putting my foot in my mouth.” He pauses, trying to reign in his emotions. He takes a deep breath, “I never thought you cheated. I know you would have never cheated on me, that’s not you, but– Maddie’s been weird. Looking at me, waiting for something. Imagine my surprise when she asks me today why haven’t I told her about you and– and a baby .”
Tommy just shakes his head, blinking back frustrated tears. “Buck–”
“Stop calling me that!” Evan finally snaps. It echoes throughout the small kitchen, resonates in Tommy’s ears, and for a moment he considers just walking away, locking himself inside his bedroom and waiting for everyone else to just leave.
“Buck,” Eddie says, a warning from where he’s standing nearby, monitor in hand.
“I realize I have been far from perfect,” Evan steamrolls ahead, beginning to pace. “How– How I was going too fast, how I failed to see you were beginning to struggle to keep up, how I never realized that the communication we prided ourselves on having was lacking cos you didn’t even know I fucking loved you .”
“Buck,” Eddie tries again.
“I couldn’t have known something you never bothered to tell me,” Tommy snaps back, standing and straightening to his full size. They were the same height, he and Evan, but Tommy was still broader, yet to lose muscle mass from having been ordered to stop strenuous workouts. 
He uses it as armor.
“You could have talked to me, come to me with this!”
“And said what ?! There you were, putting me on a pedestal like some fucking paragon of gayness when you had literally just found out how much of a fucking coward I had been for far too long! I lied to myself for decades, broke Abby’s heart in the process, and barely managed to put my puzzle pieces together when you walked into my life! You were practically the only serious relationship I had ever had, the only one I saw a future with!” Tommy yells, heart in his throat. He desperately wants to stop, cease the torrent of information he had never shared with anyone but himself, but he finds he can’t, far too keyed up to stop now. “But then you basically describe the person you’re infatuated with and fucking newsflash, it ain’t me! I am not confident,” He stabs one finger in the air, “I am not comfortable,” Another finger, “and I most certainly am not worthy of anyone’s bloody admiration! I am a fucking mess, Evan, and at that moment I realized that you didn’t know me, only the idealized version in your head! So, tell me, how could I have said yes to you? How could I have stayed, knowing one day the pink goggles would fall off and you’d realize you made a mistake?! What was I supposed to do, then, a year, five years, ten years down the road? Rebuild my life from the ashes of what would have been my forever?”
“Tommy,” Evan breathes, swallowing back tears.
“I’m sorry I broke your heart,” Tommy apologizes through gritted teeth, paraphrasing the other’s words from earlier. His hands are shaking and there’s sweat running down his back, but he can’t stop, won’t stop until Evan understands – “That I broke both our hearts, but had I taken that leap, you would have killed me. I couldn’t– I couldn’t risk it.”
“ Tommy –”
“I– I can’t–” Tommy pants, realizing too late the adrenaline is choking him, is burning him from the inside out–
He tilts, and all he can think about is that it’s becoming a fucking habit.
.
Tommy wakes up to something cold in his neck, staring up at his kitchen’s ceiling.
There are cobwebs on the wooden beams.
Huh.
He should clean that up, sometime.
“Tom?”
Tommy blinks, still out of it. “Evan?”
Slowly, he realizes that he’s lying on the tile, head cushioned in Eddie’s lap. His legs are being held up by Evan and Tommy’s hit with deja vu so strong his head spins. He tries to move and realizes maybe it isn’t just the deja vu. “W’happened?”
“Blood pressure shot up,” Eddie says, pressing the cold compress he’s holding to Tommy’s temple. “Your body shut down.”
Tommy’s heart jolts and he tries to lift a hand, finding it stuck by the monitor’s sleeve. “Is it–”
“Palpation’s good,” Evan interjects, squeezing his leg. He looks tired now, no longer itching for a fight. “We caught you before you hit the floor.”
“Good. Thanks.” Tommy breathes, relief flooding his veins. The emotional toll tugs at him and he swallows against the knot in his throat. “I’m sorry.”
Evan visibly bites the inside of his cheek to keep his face in check. “I’m sorry, too.”
There’s a lull. The fridge hums to his left, Evan sniffles occasionally, the monitor beeps periodically– Tommy feels like a stranger in his own skin.
When the sound of velcro rips through the quiet as Eddie removes the sleeve, he finds the energy to speak again. “I never meant to keep this from you.”
“Tommy,” Eddie warns.
“I know,” Tommy sighs. He’s not planning on blowing up his lid, again. If anything, he feels empty, having released all the pent-up tension within him. “Just. It wasn’t malice. I was waiting.”
Evan frowns, confused. “For what?”
“To make sure there would be anything to tell.”
Evan keeps frowning, confused before he exchanges a look with Eddie, and it clicks. “Tom.”
“It was one of our first conversations.” Tommy continues, “Kids. I know you wanted them, and would want to know about this one, but– I’m old. I never even knew I could grow life. My body keeps betraying me,” He confesses, curling his hands into fists. The cold of the tile is seeping into his bones, mocking him. “I can’t fly anymore. My Captain has me grounded at the station as a glorified clerk, I can’t watch games anymore because my heart tries to beat its way out of me, I can’t work on cars because of the chemicals, and I am stuck walking loops around the neighborhood cos I can’t even run –”
“You’re scared,” Evan interrupts. “I get that, I can understand that, but you seem to be missing a key factor, here.”
“I am?”
“I’m not here just because you’re pregnant with my baby. I’m here because you are pregnant with our baby.”
Tommy pauses, and wonders if he’s still out of it because, “I don’t understand.”
Evan carefully lays his legs on the floor and scoots a little closer. “Tommy– I’m saying that I care .” He pauses, looking like he’s waiting for Tommy to understand. He flaps his hands in agitation when it becomes clear he isn’t getting his point across. “About the both of you. I want to be here, and I wish I had known sooner, not just because I’m worried about whether or not this baby will make it past the first trimester but because I’m worried about you , too. I don’t– I don’t want this if it means you’re at risk, Tommy.”
Tommy’s silent for a bit, staring at the other man.
He takes in the furrow of his brow, the worry overlapping his frustration– His heart on his sleeve. He realizes he’s crying when Evan’s expression shifts to mild panic and he feels Eddie awkwardly dab at his cheeks with the compress he’s still holding. “Don’t.” He eventually gets out.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t give me hope that I get to keep you both.”
Evan stares down at him, incredulous, before his eyes harden and Tommy thinks, Oh. This is how it finally ends.
“Eddie?”
Eddie hums, trying not to show how awkward he feels, stuck between his bickering friends. “Yea?”
“Can you give us a minute?”
“ Gracias a Dios , yes–”
There’s a flurry of movement that has Tommy dizzy again but before he can protest, Eddie runs out of the kitchen and Evan takes his place. Warm, calloused hands cup his face and Tommy has the fleeting intrusive thought that his neck’s about to be snapped. “Tom,” He begins, thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones and wiping away tears and cold sweat. “Back at my apartment, you said your piece. Today, you did it again, but now ? Now, it’s time you listened . Earlier? I said that I loved you. I lied.”
Tommy holds the other’s gaze, despite the urge to run. “You don’t have to twist the knife–”
“Shut up,” Evan interrupts, then keeps going. “I lied. How? Cos it’s not past tense. It’s present tense. I love you. I never stopped. That night– You said a lot of bullshit, okay? About– about me finding myself, about you not being my last? I’m not even going to touch on how biphobic that sounded.”
“I’m sorry–”
“I’m not done. I may not have vast experience when it comes to dating men, but that does not mean that I can’t know what I want. I’m an adult, Tommy. I know what I wanted then, I know what I want now– And I want us . It doesn’t matter that you’re a guy; it matters to me that you’re you , and yeah, I jumped the gun– got ahead of myself and scared you off. Perhaps I had my pink goggles on, even, but you know what? The goggles are off, now.” Evan smiles, but it’s almost a wince, too. “You broke up with me and it hurt . I baked my feelings so much I could have opened a small bakery.”
“Your banana bread is great.” Tommy chokes out.
“Thanks, I got more at– Wait, no , stop interrupting me. I am still not done.” Tommy nods, gesturing at the other to continue. “You know why I baked? So I wouldn’t contact you. Every time I got the urge, I put everything into those cakes, and– I could have done anything . I could have redecorated, painted the walls, gotten into a new hobby– but you had a sweet tooth a mile wide, and even mad at you, I wanted to be close to you, somewhat. Then– I saw you bubbling me, today. I watch you type, type, type, and then just– give up.” Tommy saw the other’s throat bobble as he swallowed. “I wanted to call you. Eddie stole my phone. After our shift, I went to Maddie’s to vent… And then she told me she saw you, and all I could think of was how bad I must have been as a boyfriend if you were hiding this from me or thought you couldn’t tell me about it.”
“You weren’t. I just–”
“–Were scared.” Evan finishes for him and Tommy nods. “I get that now. I get why . And I’m sorry, for ever making you feel inadequate. Maybe… Maybe we’re still a little stuck. On that day, our official first date.”
“With the bad coffee?”
“Yeah,” Evan huffs out a laugh. “I said we didn’t know much about each other.”
“Practically everything.” Tommy smiled back.
“I still want to change that. I know that I want something, and I know now that I definitely want it to be with you.”
“And I’m definitely still interested if you’ll have me.” Tommy sniffled. He couldn’t believe his luck, yet… “I– have a condition, however. Two, in fact.”
“Anything.”
“First, I need you to tell me that you’re not just saying all this because I’ve got a bun in the oven.”
Evan sobers up then, expression softening. “I’m not. I meant it– I love you , and that comes before any proverbial baby. I’m here for you, first and foremost.”
“I just don’t want you to feel trapped.”
“I don’t, but now I have to ask something of you, too.” Evan leans in, brushing the pads of his fingers across his jawline. “You need to start trusting me. I know – I know it’s hard and it’ll take time but– Believe me when I tell you I care, okay? I’ll say it as many times as you need, just– try . Or talk to me when it gets hard, okay?”
Tommy nods. It’s nerve-wracking and he’ll have to work at it every day, but he’ll try. “Okay.”
“Good. Now, what’s the second condition? Maybe Eddie should have been here, be a witness–”
“Second condition is– please , slow down.” Evan blinks and then laughs, and Tommy feels the world flood with color he didn’t even notice was missing. He had missed this; the other’s laugh, the other’s warmth – “Too much?”
“No, but– Tommy . We’re having a baby. We’ve reached Mach speed.”
Tommy reaches then, taking hold of one of the other’s hands. Slowly, but purposely, he rests them over his stomach and feels Evan hold his breath. It’s reminiscent of how Evan had held his hand at the café all those months ago, and he blows a breath, hoping in his heart of hearts that this time– the third time is the charm. “Humor me?”
Evan blinks and then he’s leaning in, pressing their lips together.
Any other day, Tommy would be making a joke about upside-down kisses and all the pop culture Evan is still missing, but today? Today, he keeps his mouth shut and lets himself float on the feeling of wanting and being wanted back , flaws and all.
Evan pulls back, tears on his lashes. “Yeah,” He breathes, grinning. “I can do that.”
.
They make it past the first trimester.
The baby and their relationship.
.
Twenty-eight weeks later, Mabel Buckley-Kinard breathes her first.
(give me kudos and/or opinions)
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felassanis · 3 days ago
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I genuinely think Lavellan is the first relationship Solas has had. Especially an explicitly romantic one.
Veilguard Spoilers ahead. But regardless of what the primary nature of his relationship with Mythal was. There clearly was an infatuation. A dedication so raw back then that I genuinely don't think Solas was looking at anyone else but Mythal. Either because he longed for her in some (arguably unrequited) capacity or the loyalty he had for her trumped any other distractions.
But then. She dies. And he grieves, and he ultimately destroys the world in that grief. And he's spent thousands of years away from Mythal. And while he's still obviously dedicated to her, the rawness of that bond has simmered.
And then he meets Lavellan.
"It's been a long time," he says when you tease him about him using fade tongue. And while yes, you could see this as Solas confirming he has had prior romantic relationships. I actually think it refers to Mythal, to the fact it's been a long time since he's felt so close to somebody.
We know ancient elves felt operated differently than modern-day elves when it came to expression in a relationship. What we think is romantic might not have been as such back then. So I'm NOT saying Solas is inexperienced, but rather, I do think the only bond he's had that consumed him completely, that was loving, was Mythal. Until he meets Lavellan.
There is a genuine...newness to the relationship. There are so many instances where Solas seems so mildly surprised by Lavellan's actions. For the care she puts into their relationship. My favourite being when Lavellan promises to protect him in Haven from anyone looking to hurt him because he's an apostate elf. The way his eyes widen and he says "...thank you," like he's never experienced someone looking out for him so...outwardly. So willing to put his safety as a priority. (And that makes me sob cause oh my god I wonder if anyone cared about Solas's safety ever)
And I genuinely think his bond to Mythal coloured Solas's expectations when it comes to any relationship, especially a romantic one. It's like Solas isn't used to someone reciprocating HIS feelings lmao. And that's doubly apparent in the Solavellan ending, I think. Lavellan and Solas's interactions are so interesting because Solas GENUINELY has not let himself believe for nearly 10 years that Lavellan forgave him. Cannot believes she is even there, willing and wanting to save him from himself.
This does not strike me as someone who's used to relationships. To the give and take. The safety. The sustainability....
I think Solas spent so long yearning for the reciprocation he never received from Mythal only to get it finally with Lavellan. He longed for Mythal to reciprocate, and she didn't. Not until she finally shared the burden of their actions at the end. And there is no comfort in that burden now being acknowledged by her. She releases him from her service and vanishes as he's left to double over by himself.
At least he would be, but lavellan is there to lower herself to his level and comfort him. They're equals where Solas and Mythal were not. Solas is not Lavellan's lapdog. And she is not warped and changed by him as she offered to do so back in Trespasser. He didn't let her come with him to avoid the fate that befell him when he followed Mythal. They're Partners. Lovers.
And even THEN. EVEN THEN. Solas is shocked Lavellan wants to go with him to the Fade. To the point his eyes tear up, he CRIES. Warning her away but you can see in his face he is fucking DESPERATE for her to follow. Because he wants to love and have that love returned at long last.
And it is. It finally is.
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astonmartinii · 1 year ago
Note
hi!! i really love your blog: i usually stay silent and only like the posts but i thought today should be the day i request something!
would you be open to write a social media au with lando Norris x y/n where the reader is a marine biologist? or a surfer? or something ocean-related lmao
feel free to disregard this request if you don’t like it or don’t have time!! xx
just add water | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x fem reader
first fish ruined his appetite, now they steal his girlfriend?
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 103,451 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: perks of the job but back on shore i clock in to my full time job of missing lando
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user1: can we have the hair routine cause miss ma'am is in the sea every damn day and her hair is still healthier than mine
user2: REAL
landonorris: f1 is just my day job, talking about you is my passion and career
yourusername: babe even the whales in monterey bay know about you
landonorris: they better be mclaren fans
yourusername: eh i think i heard super max (whale edition) the other day
maxverstappen1: conquered all of f1 and the seven seas so real of me
landonorris: THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING THE RISING OCEAN TEMPERATURES ARE FRYING THEIR BRAINS
yourusername: babe don't joke about that :(
landonorris: sorry :(
oscarpiastri: can you please come to the next race i may put my head through a wall if i have to watch this man go through his camera roll again RETELLING me all of the stories
yourusername: didn't realise we were so annoying 🧐
oscarpiastri: don't get me wrong you guys are cute but sometimes i wanna nap after practice in peace and not hear about whale shit
landonorris: i SEE HOW IT IS
alexalbon: no oscar is right i've heard about when had a baby seal on her surfboard about seven billion times
yourusername: HEY that was cute
user3: okay but lando could talk to ME about y/n's adventures
user4: i want to hear ALL of it for real
user5: lando and y/n podcast when?
alexalbon: do not give them ideas they’re already number one and two yappers in the international waffling championship
yourusername: yapper and proud 😤
landonorris: healthy relationship communications and boundaries? no. yappers? yes!
alexalbon: has anyone ever told you guys you’re annoying?
yourusername: yes 😃
user6: they’re so annoying i love them
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landonorris
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tagged: yourusername
landonorris: does this girl own a pair of trousers? real question.
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user8: i actually don't think i've ever seen a man this down bad
user9: ALL men should aspire to be this whipped
yourusername: i wish you would join the no trouser revolution, give the girlies something to look at
user10: i agree
yourusername: okay back up babe that ass is all mine
landonorris: it's okay babe you can admire your (my) ass all the time if you come home PLS
yourusername: sorry babe the ocean doesn't sleep and the whales need me
landonorris: but i need you too :(
maxverstappen1: WAH WAH I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING WHINING
alexalbon: THANK YOU FINALLY
landonorris: erm why am i being victimised in my own comment section
maxverstappen1: you are doing my fucking nut in mate yeha i get you miss her but kinda your fault for having a cool gf with a cool job
yourusername: omg thanks 😊
landonorris: Y/N???
yourusername: babe no offence but he's a three time world champ i'm gonna take the compliment
landonorris: i guess so :(
user10: just one normal comment section, please that is all i ask for
oscarpiastri: maybe i should get on this whole j.peg business cause my photography is doing some heavy lifting here
yourusername: i didn't take you for a stunt queen miss rookie
landonorris: where is the peace, love and positivity ?? you guys are such haters
oscarpiastri: proudly
yourusername: no cool shells for you mr piastri
oscarpiastri: I TAKE IT BACK
landonorris: you people are such flip flops
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yourusername: i promise we do actually do work
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user14: why am i now considering a marine biology degree for a sick ass instagram feed
user15: and protecting the sanctity of ocean life?
user14: yeah sure throw that in there too?
landonorris: i hope you slapped the FUCK out of that stingray for steve irwin
yourusername: babe we all know violence is not the answer
landonorris: you said you'd break the knee caps of any driver that took me out?
yourusername: i do not recall this
landonorris: steve irwin is a national treasure, you should've done it for oscar
oscarpiastri: i'm sure it wasn't that exact stingray mate
landonorris: you don't know that
danielricciardo: i see you've forgotten about the other aussie you were teammates with ???
yourusername: i wouldn't have that if i were you daniel
landonorris: y/n??? you're meant to be on my side
yourusername: say sorry to larry and maybe i'll gang up on daniel with you
danielricciardo: Y/N???
landonorris: i'm sorry larry ... and daniel i guess ?
danielricciardo: if my hand weren't broken right now...
user16: okay i think lando is having y/n withdrawals
yourusername: his bitchiness is a symptom of separation anxiety
landonorris: sorry not sorry
user17: mclaren pr praying for y/n to come to a race soon
maxverstappen1: p says pretty please can she bagsy the pink shells?
yourusername: most definitely she can !! i'll even be on the look out for more
maxverstappen1: thank you y/n you're my favourite - p
yourusername: that's it i'm coming home rn
landonorris: am i a joke to you?
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landonorris
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landonorris: reunited and it feels so good oh and a double podium, pretty sweet
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user21: obsessed with how lando said that y/n is clearly his lucky charm and the "dumbass" ocean won't be getting his girlfriend back
user22: there's levels to hating and lando's level of hating on the ocean??
user23: his hatred of fish makes so much more sense right now
user24: either he hates anything to do with the ocean or y/n convinced him they deserve to live 😭
landonorris: i'll say it's number one but realistically it's two greatly helped by the fact that it tastes gross anyway
yourusername: I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU
landonorris: i know hhehehehehehehe
yourusername: i love you stupid
landonorris: i love you too dummy
yourusername: as much as i enjoyed this race i am ready for home time (after karaoke, you promised me karaoke with yuki)
landonorris: AHAHAHAAH TAKE THAT OCEAN Y/N COMING HOME
alexalbon: bro has beef with the ocean 😭
georgerussell63: bro had to share his gf with WATER 😭
maxverstappen1: bro is being ... torn apart here KEEP GOING LOL
oscarpiastri: no keep going cause i just want a nap before debrief and some people are being WAY TOO LOUD
carlossainz55: i think that's probably why you guys are getting away with bullying the little goblin
user25: oscar out here just confirming that lando and y/n are ... for lack of a better word up to no good?
user26: y/n didn't lie when she called him a stunt queen
landonorris: i can't hear y'all LALALALALALA
yourusername: they hate us because they ain't us
landonorris: period 💅
user27: i hate (love) them your honour
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tagged: landonorris
yourusername: so he had the whole proposal planned out but got a bit too excited at suzuka ... if anyone asks we got engaged on a boat in the mediterranean not in his driver's room. aside from that, HOLY FUCK I AM ENGAGED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I LOVE YOU LANDO I CAN'T WAIT FOR FOREVER
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user30: HOLY 😭 FUCKING 😭 SHIT 😭
landonorris: can we agree on no more like three month placements pretty please?
yourusername: baby the whales need me
landonorris: i need you more FIANCE :(
yourusername: gosh you are convincing, no more retreats for more than a month
landonorris: yay !!
yourusername: you need to put up more shelves for our shells though
landonorris: on it, i love you (i'm calling my dad to do it)
yourusername: i love you too baby
danielricciardo: enchante tease on the engagement post and for free ??? love you two
yourusername: at least you have the prettiest model ever for it
landonorris: I'M BLUSHING
danielricciardo: i'll deal with this because i'm happy for you two
mclarenf1: double podium and an engagement, suzuka really delivered this year
oscarpiastri: i guess i take back my comments about being loud in the drivers room... i'm so happy for you guys you deserve it
landonorris: ahaha i knew you were a softy really pastry boy
yourusername: i always knew you loved us really oscar, you're just sassy and we respect that
landonorris: .... sure
maxverstappen1: did he propose at sea in one final power move over his arch nemesis the ocean?
yourusername: have you considered he did it at sea because i'm a marine biologist and i love it out there and he loves me?
maxverstappen1: well now i look like an asshole
landonorris: the sea 0 - 1 lando
yourusername: lando 😭
user31: well this has all been a rollercoaster
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fin.
note: i've been kinda mia on here and i'm super sorry this request has taken so long lol. wanted to get this out now though cause lando had a horrid day today but i'm glad he's okay !! enjoy, i'm in my second week of a job so might get less busy xx
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neysaadept · 27 days ago
Note
heyyyy,
I LOVE your Emily fics and only just saw you’re taking requests!! Congrats on the followers.💗 I was wondering if you could do an Emily/Reader fic maybe with the prompts “they didn’t deserve you” and “why are you doing this”, (early days in the relationship) where it’s Christmas time and Emily mentions in passing how she always spends Christmas alone cause it’s too much to go to her parents and reader decides to surprise her by making dinner and bringing it to her on Christmas Day! Emily is confused because she’s never had this kind of care or treatment and reader says she deserves it ( maybe first time saying ily?)
anyways just an idea and NO pressure if it’s stupid lmao! Ily
thanks
Please let me know what you think of this. It got really carried away and I really hope you liked what I did with this. *hides*
Take a Chance
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Emily Prentiss x Female Nurse!Reader
Tags - No use of Y/N, swearing, angst, fluff, meet cute, first Christmas. Minors DNI
Summary - Please refer to the ask for summary!
AO3
Word Count: 4.4k
As a nurse, you had few rules for who were out of bounds in dating. Doctors are a big hell no. Yes, it seems romantic and dreamy to fall for some sexy, brilliant, doctor but there is too much overlapping and fucked up hours to connect that things can fizzle out so quickly once you realize there is no compatibility. And god forbid you end up having to work with one another? So, so awkward after a breakup.
And yes, you’ve been there and done that. Never, ever, again. You moved out of ICU to have less contact with the intensivist, Dr. Vanessa Hyland, and the ER has been headhunting you for a while now. You took the opportunity and ran. It is a change of pace, but it had the same adrenaline vice that you crave working and triaging the unknown that walk through MedStar Washington Memorial that was close to the VA*.
Your exclusion list also includes paramedics, firefighters, police officers, and anyone in your department. You didn’t want someone that had similar bizarre hours as you and that you might end up seeing at work if shit hit the fan. Healthcare was a small world, and you didn’t need your exes in your immediate orbit.  You had enough drama at work and for the last year, the ER has become your work home and it has pushed you to pursue your license as a nurse practitioner. You had one year to go and were currently a resident.
You are career focused, intelligent and driven which currently made dating a low priority for you. Since the fling with Dr. Hyland fell through, you focus on yourself and enjoy being single since no one of genuine interest caught your fancy. And you stopped looking.
You didn’t realize your world was about to flip upside down when you knock on the window to Bay 3 in the ER and a deep voice said to come in.
That definitely didn’t sound like an Emily Prentiss to you. That must’ve been her partner speaking per the report given to you that he came along for the ambulance ride.
“Morgan, I can speak for myself …” came the snippy reply confirming your suspicions.
You pull the curtain back and take in the two feds in the room. The tall, dark, and muscular handsome fellow was hunched over the side rail before he saw you. “Hey, Doc. Mind telling princess here that she needs to behave?”
Your eyes dart to the woman on the cart who was squinting her best death glare at him. “I am behaving. I came here, didn’t I?”
With the concussion the female fed has, the bright lights of the room weren’t helping which made her glare pathetically cute. You turn the lights down, which the staff should have done in the first place.
“Better?” you say with an understanding smile.
She nods thankfully.
“Also, not a doctor. NP in training.” You walk in and introduce yourself. “So, shall I call you Emily or Agent Prentiss?”
She looks at you funny.
“Some feds have a stick up their ass about titles.”
“I definitely do not have a stick up my ass. Unless you count him?” She points a thumb at Morgan in all seriousness.
His face falls playfully with feign hurt, clutching at his chest. “Ouch, girl.”
“Hm,” you look thoughtfully between them and could feel the deeply rooted respect and love for these two partners. You decide to play along and return your attention to Emily. “Well, I’m sorry to say we don’t have a surgical consultant that specializes in that.” Then you wink. “I can always call security and throw him out if ya like.”
“Hey! Wait a second.” He lowers his hand accusingly. “You’re all not playing nice now.”
Emily chuckles. “I guess he can stay. He’s kinda my ride anyway.”
“Duly noted. Now, to business. May I?” You gesture to Emily’s head as you put on gloves. She nods and you start examining her scalp by gently running your fingers along her hair to smooth back to getting a better look. “The officer that was driving with you is doing OK. Same issue with head trauma after the T-bone. Do you remember hitting your head on anything before the airbags deployed?”
“Well, I was driving. Then we got the call on our suspect. Then we … we got the call on our suspect …” she shakes her head, wincing, trying to recall the memory before impact.
“Hey, if you don’t remember, it’s fine. I’m sure you know that. Doubt this is your first concussion?” You stop for a moment to make eye contact with Emily who rolls her eyes in affirmation. “Alright, well… you do have the start of a nice bruise here.”
You gently brush over the injury mid-scalp about halfway up from her left ear. “How’s the headache?”
“Pounding”, as she winces from your touch.
“Any nausea or vomiting?”
“No.”
“Dizziness or lightheadedness?”
“Nope.”
“Double or blurry vision?”
“A little. Tho it’s an improvement for Morgan’s looks.”
He whistles, shaking his head. “I’m letting that one slide since you’re suffering.”
You chuckle. “Alright, let me take a quick look at the rest of you. Anything else hurting that isn’t Morgan’s heart?”
That made her laugh as you pull the stethoscope over your head. “No. Nothing else hurts.
“Ladies, I’m starting to take offense now.” But he was all smiles.
You knew she suffered minor injuries from the ambulance report – contusions and small lacerations from shattered glass that didn’t require stitching. The officer on the passenger seat got cut worse being on the side of impact. You then listen to her heart, lungs and abdomen and palpate her stomach after making sure nothing was tender. Then did the same with her limbs testing neurological strength and any sore spots that may have been missed.
“Okay, Emily. Let’s get that CT done of your head.” You put the stethoscope back around your neck before placing your hands in your lab coat pockets. “If that comes back clean, I’ll release you home …” You see she’s about to ask a question you’re already anticipating. “… and no work until you’re medically cleared.”
She pouts rather prettily. You wish you didn’t notice. “And that also means no pretending to be cleared and going to work either.”
Morgan shakes his head and half smiles down at his partner. “Busted.”
“Had a feeling.” Morgan smirks between the two of you. “I’ll get those orders in.” You check your watch. “Should be done within the hour and we’ll go from there. If you need me, just call.”
Morgan steps around the bed to shake your hand. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” And you turn to look at Emily with a firm tone and playful eyes. “You behave.”
She huffs and settles back against the pillow, but Emily was fighting with a smile. To you it appears she was grumbling under her breath which was oh so common with law officials. When you leave the room, Morgan looks at Prentiss with a knowing look. In her state, she was genuinely confused. “What?”
“You’re making heart eyes with the nurse.”
“What? I … wasn’t. No way I was doing … whatever that thing you said I’m doing. It didn’t happen,” she says with a scowl.
“Heart eyes,” he reminds her.
 “Whatever,” she snips. “Has to be the head injury.”
“Uh huh.” He looks back at the curtains then at his partner. “She’s your type too …”
“I’m not having this conversation right now,” she says, stopping Morgan from talking further about the nurse that was definitely her physical type. Plus, you were clearly smart and had a fun side at the bedside that made her smile.
Morgan smirks, seeing the dopey look. He knows she’s thinking about you. “When you’re better, then.”
“I’ll probably won’t remember this stupid conversation then either.” She ends the topic by crossing her arms and looking away from Derek. A perfect model of a petulant Prentiss.
Emily does hates that he was right. The question that remains is if she was going to do anything about it after Morgan’s teasing that would inevitably come at a later date.
Two weeks went by since you discharged Agent Emily Prentiss and life went on. You were working a double today in the ER.
“Let’s get a bag of O neg going on Bay 2 and prep endo for a scope.” You put the orders in and use the inter-hospital chat through the EMR* with Dr. Aorsen who is the GI specialist on call. Poor patient had a bleeding ulcer.
One of the techs calls your name and you answer without looking up, continuing to type up the H&P* on the patient so there will be no delays in the procedure. You answer with a pen dangling between your teeth. “Yeah?”
“An Agent Prentiss is here to see you.”
The pen drops from your lips as you swivel your chair around to look at the disheveled tech in surprise. “Uh, what?”
You couldn’t have heard that right.
He throws a thumb over his shoulder and nods in confirmation. “Fed named Prentiss is here to see you.”
Your eyes dart around the room trying to figure out why she is here and come up empty. “Is she here by herself?”
“Yep.”
“O … kay. Yeah. I’ll see what she needs. Tell her I need ten minutes to finish something before I can see her. Thanks, Marc.”
“Kay.” He wanders off and you finish your necessary charting. You weren’t going to drop everything to speak with her just yet when a patient needs your attention. Though your mind couldn’t grasp why she was here. You sent over the medical report on Agent Prentiss to the FBI the same week you discharged her. Nothing was out of the ordinary in your report. She suffered a typical concussion and filled out all the workers’ compensation documentation for the feds. It was way worse than filling out the damn metro police claims, and it took over an hour to finish.
Once you have all the necessary orders and documentation for your patient to go to endo, you meander through the nurses’ station and down the hall to where Emily is waiting. She currently has her hands behind her back which shows off the gun holstered to her hip. The white button down was under a black blazer that made her professionally beautiful and it was nice to see her be more casual from the waist down with jeans and black work boots.
And then there you are in your navy-blue scrubs, lab coat, hair up in a messy bun, and a stethoscope hanging around your neck. She definitely looks put together and was easy on your tired eyes.
Emily is distracting herself as she waits for you by taking in all the scenery around her from laundry bins to rolling medical equipment. But when she sees you, she visibly perks up and shifts on her feet.
You wonder if Emily is nervous but that is ridiculous. You push that thought out of your mind as you smile to greet her. “This is a surprise, Agent Prentiss.”
“Ah, Emily’s just fine. This isn’t anything official.” She says it a bit too quickly that makes your brows raise up in question.
“Well, that’s good. I was wondering.” You look her up and down and see that’s she’s recovered nicely, even if she isn’t relaxed speaking with you. Her hands are still behind her back. “You look well.”
“So, do you,” she says a bit too quickly when your eyes narrow in thought to her response. “I mean … for working long hours are the ER. It’s not easy.”
Your head moves to the left in curiosity as to where this was going. “Definitely not, but I love it. Wouldn’t be anywhere else. Though …” you bring your arm up and slowly gesture towards back down the hall “ … I’m sorry to be abrupt but with patients waiting … can you let me know how I can help you, Emily?”
You see her look mortified at keeping you waiting and that is when her arms swing around to her front, one crossing her abdomen. She was definitely nervous, but it is unclear why.
“Yes, I did want to thank you and see …” She nervously licks her lower lip, and your eyes are inevitably drawn to the motion.
You were hanging on her next words. The moment between you is filled with the sounds of electronic beeps, a patient moaning in confusion, and then the old Batman TV show theme goes off alerting your hospital that an ambulance was calling in a patient on the emergency line affectionately dubbed ‘The Bat Phone’ by the hospital. That seemingly jolts her back from looking at anything but you.
“ … well, see … you,” she says bashfully.
Your eyes widen. “See me?” You sound as confused as you appear.
“Yes,” Emily confirms with a hesitant nod.
Your eyes dart upwards in continued bewilderment before settling on her hopeful-looking brown orbs. “Look, I’m a complete idiot right now. Why did you need to see me?” You smile brightly with encouragement.
That seemingly provides the necessary motivation to be direct. “Yes. Socially. As in … dinner …?” Though Emily did end the last part awkwardly and began to flick at her thumbnail that was lying against her thigh.
Now with Emily’s intentions clear, you take a step back in wonder. “You’re asking me … out?”
Seeing that you took a step back makes Emily frown, thinking you weren’t interested. “Well, I was …”
“And you came here. To ask me out.” Your continuation of confusion is making her slowly back up towards the exit.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I …” she loosens the hold she has on her stomach and gracelessly swings her arms as she is about to turn, and hits the linen cart, causing a pile of towels and washcloths to tumble onto the floor. “Oh my god! I am so sorry!”
She crouches down to pick them up as you do the same but sliding to your knees. This wasn’t your first laundry pile up in the ER. “Hey, it’s okay!”
“No, it’s not.” Emily’s pale face was flushing prettily, and it makes you smile. “I made a mess.”
“Sweetie, this isn’t even close to a mess in my ER. Ever drop a commode?” That makes her laugh and diffuses the tension between you a little, but she was avoiding eye contact with you.
You both work at cleaning up when the two of you end up grabbing a towel at the same time. There was a quick game of tug of war and that finally brought her eyes up to see you. She was nervous and expectant, ready to run off in a heartbeat.
You give her your answer. “Yes.”
Her head leans in with disbelief. “Yes … what?” She asks hesitantly, needing confirmation.
“Yes, I’ll go out with you.” And just like that, you broke your rule about dating officers. There was something enigmatically irresistible about her and Emily mustered the courage to come down to your place of work to ask you out. How sweet is that?
Emily is too fucking adorable as her face works through the shock of what you said. “Oh … kay.” She nods. “Good. I mean …” She grins wide and bright. “Great.”
You both remain on the floor for a couple of beats before you lower your head, eyes studying Emily with a coy look. “Does this mean I can have the towel back?”
She busts out laughing and finally lets go.
That was a little over a month ago and you found out on your first date that it was her partner, Morgan, that helped talk Emily through her concerns. She explained how he was not just a good friend but was also like a brother to her. You were happy that Emily took this chance, and it was the happiest time of your life. You never thought that you’d find a partner that was able to understand the demands of your job and education by someone not in healthcare. Emily’s job is mentally, physically and emotionally draining like yours and despite the differences in careers, you understand the depts of humanity. Emily saw the worst of it and tried to bring the criminals to justice or at least provide closure for the victims and families. You do the same in your own way trying to save as many lives as you can as well as being the one to break bad news to people who loved your patients fiercely. You also saw the worst in a different way – shootings, stabbings, rapes, protests gone ugly. You and DC metro had a lot to talk about a lot of time. But the times you make a child smile when feeling terrible, or provide information that eases the mind of a patient that was so scared of why they were sick, or even the simple bedside talk to show you were a human being that truly cared, it was worth all the shit you dealt with.
But in between the long hours and when Emily was out of town, you make time for one another. Simple dinners, going out to the movies, long walks discussing nothing and everything, but the best was when Emily took you to the Smithsonian to see the staff carefully place a Santa hat on the life size brontosaurus display since Christmas was just around the corner. You didn’t even know they did that, and Emily was so pleased with herself at seeing your face light up in wonder. You of course took a selfie together after it was placed, but it ended up being at an awkward angle where you both were laughing as you were pointing to the dinosaur.
When you weren’t together, you had long talks over the phone and constant texts when Emily was on a case to make sure she was doing alright, which she did for you too! You both cared about your workaholic selves and kept reminding each other to take a break, eat and drink more than just beer when off the clock. Emily was able to keep work at work when in the moment with you but you could hear the weight of Emily’s job straining her voice. A hint of raw insight to her true feelings. You never push. Your relationship was still new, and you both were still learning one another.
When Christmas came, you were coming off a sixteen-hour shift that started right before 7am Christmas Eve. You were exhausted, the status quo for any resident, but you were also determined. This was your first Christmas with Emily, and you wanted to make it special. She admitted that the relationship she has with her mother is complicated and didn’t need, nor want, to show her face at one of her mother’s extravagant Christmas parties. Emily would just be shown off for propriety’s sake. It was easier being home alone with leftovers that Rossi made on Christmas Eve of pasta, seafood, and amazing Italian beef and sausages right after midnight. Between that, the homemade cookies gifted to her by Garcia, and a six pack of Stella bottled beer, Emily settled in for the day watching Die Hard because it is, and always we be, a Christmas movie. If you wanted to disagree with her, Emily was ready to fight.
By mid-afternoon, John McClane is crawling through the air vents and iconically complaining about ‘Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…’ line when there’s a knock at Emily’s door. This confuses her because she wasn’t expecting anyone and you were at the hospital working. You told her that this morning over the phone during a break that, unsurprisingly, the hospital was short staffed, and they needed you. She put down Garcia’s festively colored frosted chocolate cookies and went to see who it was.
Which is why when she looks out through the peephole of the door, she gasps and quickly starts unlocking the door. She holds out her arms in surprise at the sight of you and speaks an octave higher in greeting. “What are you doing here?! You said you had to work tonight!”
She was all smiles seeing you … and you weren’t wearing your work clothes. You have on jeans, an ugly Christmas sweater that said ‘Fabulously Grinchy’ and arms full of bags. Emily was distinctively not festive on purpose with grey shorts and a baggy Yale sweatshirt. Even the black slippers were humdrum. It empowers you to see this and that you made the right decision to surprise her this way.
“Well, I lied,” you explain as she takes some of the bags from you. “Surprise!”
She steps aside to let you in and smells the familiar scents of pasta, sauce and bread. “What did you do?” she asks cautiously.
“I made Christmas dinner for us.” You beam, spinning around carefully in the living room with your arms out to display the bags. “Just need to warm it all up.
As you really did have to work long hours at the hospital, you enjoyed Skyping with your parents who lived of town while making homemade manicotti. It was your tradition to cook together, and it was nice to do it together this way. Thankfully you still had some frozen homemade pasta sauce that you could use and not be considered a heathen to your family because no daughter of theirs was going to serve their girlfriend pasta sauce from a jar.
“Oh my god,” she says your name and follows you quickly into the kitchen, trying to catch up. “You … you really didn’t have to go through all this trouble. And, really, why are you doing this? You’ve gotta be so tired after working a long shift. You should be relaxing.” Emily knew you did work today since she heard the intercom and all the various beeps, whirls and whistles of a hospital.
You left the bags on the island counter and start fiddling with the oven controls. “Eh, I’ve had worse.” You smirk over your shoulder. “So have you. Therefore, we deserve a nice Christmas not alone. Now. … ” you start looking for oven mitts and utensils by pulling out drawers and opening cabinets. You’ve been here once before and don’t have the lay of the land yet where Emily keeps everything.
What you didn’t know is that Emily is standing by the island counter with a firm grip on the edge because she is feeling a powerful rush of affection for you and a profound sense of guilt. She swallows hard and almost jerks with her movements in trying to find words to address you.
“Hey, Emily? Where’s the spatula? I don’t need to whisk anything, and you got like, three of them here.” With no answer, you turn around with the whisks in hand and a goofy smile which soon falls into a look of concern. Emily was staring at you with watery eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” you ask, quickly setting aside the whisks that roll around the counter. One drops and bounces off the floor, but you don’t care. You place your hands around Emily’s shoulders and rub soothing circles. “Talk to me, please.”
Her face scrunches to the side, still struggling with guilt. “You shouldn’t be doing this. You’re tired. You should be sleeping. Or resting. Or just –“
You cut her off by gently cupping her face. Your thumbs continue their gentle stroking along Emily’s cheeks. “If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be.” You smile with sincerity. “Only place I wanna be.”
“Fucking sap,” she says, curling her hands around your forearms. You both naturally bring your foreheads together in that moment and feel Emily’s shaky inhalation of breath. “I don’t deserve this.” She feels the need to clarify. “You.”
You close your eyes and ask nonjudgmentally. “Why?”
“Because I’m gonna mess it up. I always find a way to do it. Even if it’s not exactly me.” She sighs. “Like work, or my mother…”
“Hey, don’t do that.” You bring your hands down while lifting your head to gaze into Emily’s eyes. “Anticipating. We just gotta take it day by day and right now, I feel, that this is a good one.”
“Yeah?” she says quietly, licking her dry lips.
“Yeah,” you confirm, bringing one of her hands up to gently kiss. What you’re about to say you feel in your heart and it has been growing for the last week. Perhaps it was too soon to say it, but Emily deserves to know how you feel and that despite this being new, this was a relationship you were determined to see where it takes the both of you. “Maybe if I give you one of your presents, it’ll help you feel better?”
Her eyes look along the ceiling while she chucks. “Maybe.”
You lean forward and cup her cheek, gently caressing it until you lock eyes. “I love you, Emily Prentiss.”
Her audible gasp at the admission is swallowed by your lips gently kissing hers. The kiss was soft, a silent signature of proof to the words already spoken. It is affirmation that you want to be here with Emily, and you feel her free hand slide around your waist as she steps closer. The press of her body forces a sigh from your lips which makes Emily smile against yours.
“I love you, too.” She confesses quietly, pulling your joined hands against her chest. “And it scares me.”
“Well, here’s the good news.” Emily pulls back to look at you, brown eyes equally fearful and exhilarated, as she waits for what you must share. Your smile helps to ground her. “We get to be scared together.”
She laughs as a couple of tears fall free and you reach up to wipe them away. As she leans into your touch, Emily asks you a question since she has doubts about this gift of yours, no matter how much she treasures it. “Was that really one of my gifts?”
“No,” you admit and kiss her forehead. “But it’s all true. Consider it a bonus.”
Emily looks up to you with a smile that lights up the entire room. “Mm, I do like the sound of that,” she says before capturing your lips once again.
*Vetarans Affairs
*EMR - Electronic Medical Record
*H&P - History and Physical
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billyloomiswhore4 · 2 years ago
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Crazy for you - Chapter One
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Billy and stu x reader
Warnings: cheating, stalking, violence, implied murder, dark fantasies, billy is a perv lmao, slight dumbification, no explicit smut yet
Billy has never been a man of many words, he wasn’t very good at expressing himself. Especially after he met you. Everything about you made him want to tear his own skin off if it meant he could have you. Even if he was with Sid. 
When you moved to Woodsborough, Sidney and Tatum quickly took a liking to you, inviting you to join the group where they sat at lunch. Stu and Randy both liked you as well, Stu liked you a little too much, to be honest. 
Billy couldn’t comprehend how he felt about you, how could he want to give you the world, kill anyone who touched you and completely ruin you all at once. Sidney noticed when he grew distant, always making excuses, saying he was busy. 
But Stu was a completely different story, he didn’t hide the liking he had taken to you, openly flirting with you, even when Tatum was around. But it seemed like his usual behavior so she just brushed it off as nothing more. What she didn’t know was how many times he fucked into his own hand thinking about you.
And when Billy found out that Stu felt the same way as him, god it was immediately decided right there and then that they would have you. 
They sat together outside your window, watching as you did your nightly routine, and tucked yourself into bed. And once you fell asleep, Billy would slide open your window, god leaving your window unlocked, such a dumb little girl. He would think. 
You had to know better, you’d seen enough horror movies to know that leaving your window unlocked was dumb. But secretly you’d hoped that the killer who was making Woodsborough his personal hunting ground would sneak in your window and have his way with you. God, how many times did you bury your fingers in your cunt to the thought of him? 
Stu stared at Billy as he crept his way into your room, but even though the plan was only to watch you, Stu followed after him. 
You were in such a deep sleep you didn’t hear Billy rifling through your drawers, looking for something in particular. 
“What are you doing?” Stu whispered, coming up behind Billy to find him with his hands in your panty drawer. Billy’s hands seem to find exactly what he’s looking for, a red lace pair of underwear. He holds it up, eye’s looking like he’s just struck gold. “God, you are such a perv.” Stu stifles a laugh at his own statement. Billy sends him a glare before shoving the lace material into his pocket. Billy is making his way towards the window when Stu stops him, pointing towards where you lay on the bed. Your sleeping dress has risen up, exposing your bare thigh, and light blue underwear. Billy almost groans as you begin to let out soft noises of pleasure in your sleep. 
The blankets have somehow found their way in between your legs, and you're softly rocking your hips against them. Stu’s eyes light up, as his dick strains against his pants. 
“Let’s go,” Billy says, not wanting to get caught, he pulls on Stu’s sleeve. 
“Just a second man, I wanna watch.” Billy can’t stand watching you get off, he wants to touch you, and he feels as though he’s going to pull out his own hair if he can’t. His hands go to his hair instinctively, as Stu watches you moan softly, plump lips parting slightly to let out the smallest of gasps. 
“I gotta get outta here.” Billy repeats, pulling at his hair, and making his way towards the window. Stu’s brows pinch together in confusion, and concern. Billy almost tumbles out, attempting to flee your room. Stu follows quickly after, making sure Billy doesn’t fall. 
They get in Stu’s car swiftly, and drive all the way back to his house, the entire trip Stu is hammering Billy with questions, but he only mutters to himself, still pulling at his hair. 
Billy jumps out of the car, basically running into the house. Stu jogs after him, softly closing the door behind him. 
“Billy.” Stu calls out to him, but he doesn't reply, just continues to pace up and down the kitchen. “Billy.” He approaches him cautiously, he knows how Billy can be but he hasn’t seen him this messed up since he found out about what his dad was doing with Sidney’s mother. 
Stu’s hands meet his shoulders, and he shakes him a bit to get his attention. “Dude, what’s wrong?”
Billy’s wild eyes meet Stu’s calm, concerned ones. Billy is shaking in anticipation, it’s like he’d just killed someone for the first time and his adrenaline is going haywire. 
“I can’t stand it, Stu. Not having her, it’s driving me crazy.” His words come out rushed, he can’t seem to find the right words for how he’s feeling. 
Stu moves his hands from Billy’s shoulders to his face, holding him tightly to get him to focus. 
“Listen, We’ll have her real soon, we just gotta wait until the plan plays out, all in due time, man.” Stu stares into Billy’s eyes, waiting for him to relax. “It’s going to be fine, everything will work out in the end. “
“Yeah- Okay.” Billy relaxes in his embrace. He sighs softly. 
“Real soon, Bill, Real soon.” ______________
part two? lmk
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thatdeadaquarius · 9 months ago
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Hello there, friend I'm here for fluff
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OK, this has been on my mind for a while
But like
The reader is just becoming the biggest parent to the Benny's adventure team kids
And the wolfs
We are like a parent of like 27
Knitting and making food brushing razors hair(let's be for real, you would hear a crunch when you brush it)
I'm not gonna lie
Do these kids know what spices are?
Cuz when I think about it
Razor hasn't had shit so he's has the least tolerance for spice
He would probably cry if you feed him a pepper
Bennett has tried spicy food but does go well with it
And not completely sure if fischl has had a spicy food before
But what flavor does mondstadt add to their food??
These kids need the damn flavors
AHDHAKALL FERAL ANIMAL AQUARIUS- ANOTHER PLATONIC ASK AAHHHHGGGGDJJSFHSAK!!!!!
AND ITS YOU!! ITS- ITS- ONE OF THE WRITING RULERS OF SAGAU (FOR ME AT LEAST) <3 !!!!!!!!
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You cooking in genshin all anime studio ghibli style looking like food from god (literally): ⬆️
Sun: Reader (you/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish
Stars: Benny’s Adventure Team! (Bennett, Fischl, Razor), Diluc, mentions of other Mond characters
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^
OMFG
ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES
SINCE UR IN TEYVAT
YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT
AS IN-
SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH
(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish 💀)
AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-
ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS ✨️❤️‍🔥
OKAY SO
PROMO TIME-
U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"
Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking
A guy gets isekai’d and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO
and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.
but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit
like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren
so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc
And it gives buffs too!
dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here
u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild
tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Benny’s Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!
(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)
omfg the first time u barbecue smth???
the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.
Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)
they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing
(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andrius’ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)
Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food
(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from Springvale…)
ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-
No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth
(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)
Fischl dutifully declares you the “best chef in the kingdom” and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)
Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!
No!! He will not take “im good” for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! There’s no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!
and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh
when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their “All God”, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom
U offer some snacks u were going to give Benny’s Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)
the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao
ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole “creator of worlds” title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that 🥰)
the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)
another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself
u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisa’s tutoring and bring “the best tea and tea snacks in the world” along with to share with Lisa and him
(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)
(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)
…and the moment you've been waiting for.
Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat
tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.
a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.
you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),
like he doesnt even have to introduce himself
and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razor’s hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,
and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join
The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kid’s creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him
he just sits down and begins to eat.
its the best food he’s ever had, its his dad’s favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes
Diluc visits often after that, obviously.
u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)
including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)
Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But he’s not saying where LMAO
Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-
this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Venti’s skin.
when he told him this at Angel’s while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??
he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadt’s citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO
(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)
mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter
(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him 💀)
ur food is the ultimate, “u could make a religion out of this!” /ref
like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains
does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?
only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO
bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :’(
hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you
Safe Travels BK Trashfire,
💀♒
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If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"
(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")
♡my beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue
@kiyomi-uchiha777
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norris55s · 1 year ago
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the feels - oscar piastri
kpop idol reader x oscar piastri social media au
a/n: if anyone has requests lmk! i’d love some inspiration
a/n: it’s a fun concept to think of the most normal guy in the world dating a kpop sensation. let’s ignore that dating is taboo in the kpop world and i fully made up an f1 calendar for this lol. face claim is sana from twice. 🫡 ps. we absolutely love seeing oscar win his first (sprint) race
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oscarpiastri
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liked by landonorris, mclaren, y/nusername and 405,027 others
oscarpiastri: Japan has been great. (Yes, I had to go to Y/N’s concert.)
view all 1,852 comments
piastrinorris: oscar is a kpop fan? not on my bingo card
y/nmaniac: it’s the Y/N impact 💕not kpop, Y/N
papayaworld: i am genuinely asking, who is Y/N? i don’t know her
sugarrushy/n: she is a japanese kpop idol who is very big, specially recently bc of her viral single OMG. you should listen to it!! she also has other underrated bops
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y/nusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, alphataurif1, yukitsunoda0511, and 1,027,399 others
y/nusername: i didn’t know racing cars could be so much fun! thank you wearelenovo for the invitation to the formula 1 lenovo japanese grand prix, and alphataurif1 for receiving me so kindly!! 😺😺😺
view all 5,038 comments
mclaren: You should come around our garage sometime, we know there would be people happy to see you in papaya orange 🧡
81lover: mclaren being oscar’s wingmen, we love to see it
ln4op81: LMAO, feeding on the oscar x y/n hype. in their defense, oscar’s post race interview didn’t help
himboscar: blud literally said “i almost hoped i wasn’t racing so i could go meet her but she saw me on the podium” and hoped we’d just let that go
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mclaren
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liked by oscarpiastri, y/nusername, landonorris and 706,829 others
mclaren: We had to re-invite y/nusername to the Monaco Grand Prix for the McLaren experience. We think she’s having a great time and we have great results to show her.🫡🧡
view all 1,037 comments
y/nusername: thank you for having me😽🧡
oscarpiastri: Hype papaya girl 👧
mclarenussy: u got this, rizz her up
therealpiastri: he doesn’t have it don’t lie
y/nheart: honestly it’s pretty cute how he references her songs lol
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y/nusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, somsomi0309, and 1,037,824 others
y/nusername: the ETA world tour is over! 😿💕 i had the most amazing time seeing all bunnies around the world, and experiencing all the new things this beautiful planet has to offer. i’m looking forward to doing it all over again forever!!! i’m so grateful to everyone who made this tour possible, from all the crew, to the stylists, to the dancers, and as always my bunnies. here’s to the future!! 😻💕
view all 4,025 comments
oscarpiastri: 🎊🎊
piastricutie: baby get up
y/nusername: tysm for coming✨😺
landonorris: actually upset i wasn’t invited
y/nusername: next tour for sure 🎟️😼
y/ngirly: she’s snatching mclaren boys like pokemons and we love that for her
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f1waggosip
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liked by 104,027
f1waggossip: The streets are saying our Oscar Piastri has actually managed to bag his girl crush, Y/N L/N, and her recent Instagram where she is using the same outfit she was pictured with hugging the Aussie in Italy seems to confirm it. She also posted a story of a beautiful dinner date. We likely will see her in the Monza paddock this weekend, after months of reportedly beginning their relationship long distance due to her tour and Oscar’s races.
view all 1,024 comments
maniacpiastri: holy FUCK
formulay/n: the fact that my worlds collided this hard what the helllllll how did oscar manage to bag that queen
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oscarpiastri
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liked by mclaren, y/nusername, landonorris and 803,927 others
oscarpiastri: Pretty sure y/nusername is our lucky charm. Amazing P1 🏆😉
view all 3,037 comments
mclaren: We are willing to add her as a plus one for the rest of the year 🤝
landonorris: be a keeper mate
y/nusername: i think it’s all u ✨✨💕😸
thunderousy/n: THE HARD LAUNCH? THE COMMENTS? THE LUCKY CHARMS? IM COMBUSTING
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y/nusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, hyunah_aa and 1,203,028 others
y/nusername: f1 duties got me in an airport looking like i’m in a second leg of a more tiring tour, while oscar is shining and i’m not the one driving 200mph! 🙀
view all 5,024 comments
oscarpiastri: Sorry, we can’t lose the lucky charm😛
oscarpiastri: Also, you look amazing.
81racing: PLEASEEEE😭
mclaren: It’s the orange hair for us 🧡
y/nusername: temporarily repping for best end of season good vibes 🧡😼
darlingy/n: i love this man, he’s so sweet to her and he makes her so happy
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oscarpiastri:
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liked by landonorris, y/nusername, carlossainz55 and 890,024 others
oscarpiastri: Season ended, and P3 in Driver’s Championship isn’t too shabby. I feel like a winner anyway, and my lucky charm will bring us to the next level next year. Thank you mclaren and Papaya Army! 🧡
view all 4,034 comments
y/nusername: great things will always come ur way 🧡🧡✨✨😸😸very proud of u
theoscarpastry: i am so unwell he is saying he won because he got the girl
y/nnation: bunnies love oscar, he’s so ken coded and y/n is the prettiest barbie
landonorris: 👊👊
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f1waggossip
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liked by 153,024
f1waggossip: It is now Oscar Piastri’s turn to be a lucky charm, as he is seen attending the Mnet Asian Music Awards with Y/N, who is nominated for several categories tonight. We wish her the best!
view all 924 comments
y/nloverboy: he looks so happy to be her accessory for the night, we love it for her
oscarbabes: ken loves barbie
y/ngoddess: i am still astonished at how oscar even got y/n to take a second look at him but the superstar and chillest person alive combo is giving
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oscarpiastri
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liked by y/nusername, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 802,692 others
oscarpiastri: I love being the trophy boyfriend for the MAMAs’ Artist of the Year.👩‍❤️‍👨 Always proud of you, and always a pleasure to see you perform.😄
see all 3,733 comments
y/nusername: ur too sweeeet my baby 😿😿😽😽💕💕
y/nsbff: “my baby” sleeping on the highway 2nite
oscarwildflower: “trophy boyfriend” bathing with a toaster!!!
allmylovey/n: the most unlikely of relationships is giving everything that needs to be given
965 notes · View notes