#like am i gonna be high for 4 hours or 16 we will never know

[famewolf]

woke up still inebriated but alas this d&d backstory won't write itself

[katyawriteswhump]

power of love, part 15

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 16

(also on AO3 here and as part of my steve whump fic series)

Steve’s back in the loggers’ cabin. He’s kissing Eddie stupid, and he’s loving it.

They’re both done with drinking bad beer, and even more done with pretending this thing between them isn’t real. They’ve gotten their arms flung around each other. Steve’s tongue is happily exploring the depths of Eddie’s mouth.

Kissing Eddie is totally unlike any make-out session Steve’s ever known. The scratch of Eddie’s lightly stubbled jaw against his is… Gnnng, mindblowing! Steve slides his knee into Eddie’s lap, wishing Eddie would jump his bones already. When Eddie snags his fingers through Steve’s hair, it sends literal sparks down Steve’s spine. The insistent brush of their lips is actual fire, until…

… it’s all too much. Steve moans with something other than dumb teen passion, and it feels like his head’s gonna explode. That familiar crimson tide washes through his brain, and then…

“Steve?”

Robin’s voice wrenches Steve back to the present. Oh, yeah. They’re wading along some shitty little stream, hidden between high banks. Somehow, while getting lost in memories of that kiss, his feet shifted forward on autopilot.

She’s following behind. “I haven’t heard those woofy search dogs for a while,” she says. “You?”

I’ve not a clue, Robin. My head’s zoning in and out of Christ-knows-what-crazy-ass-shit, and I’ve gotten a boner from daydreaming about Eddie. Which is fading fast, because when I remember I might never get another shot at kissing him for real, I wanna stuff my fist in my mouth and bite down hard.

“Gonna trust you on that one,” he mumbles.

“We can get out of this disgusting drain then?” He shrugs, climbs up the bank to check all’s clear.  “See anything we need to worry about?”

“Not sure.” Steve frowns, surveying a few dumped cars and a burned-out trailer. It’s a familiar patch of wasteland, a known hang-out for pretty much every teen in the area. “We’re back in Hawkins already.”

“You’re kidding?” She scrambles up to join him and visibly pales beneath her grime and freckles. “Oh my God. We must’ve travelled at least ten miles. In less than an hour and a half.” She glances at her watch and nods emphatically. “Any explanations, Steve? Any cryptic messages from your water-fairy-godparent?”

“Gimme a break! You’re the one who said we’re off to Magic Camp. At this stage—boom! Whatever! Crazy is to be expected.” He sounds chill. Despite the fear jostling him from every angle over what the hell is happening now?  Their gazes lock, and… Jesus, he can read in her manic eyes how her last ragged nerve is about to snap.

“Okay, okay,” she says, “we won’t panic.”

“I’m not panicking."

“Well, I am! One plus side—there’s plenty of nice dry paths leading to Lover’s Lake in that direction.” She points to the wasteland. “Don’t you dare make me get back in the ditch. I am literally wearing duckweed for mascara.”

He considers her suggestion for a few seconds, before that stupid waterfall roars in his head. “Sorry.” He bounces back into the stream. “If we’re believing in this bullshit, then I gotta go the way I get told.”

With the biggest sigh ever, she skids down after him. They paddle onward, hand in hand. She’s shaking weirdly, gasping and gulping, like she’s giggling and crying all at once. Oh, and shivering too. He wants to check she’s okay, but he doesn’t dare speak. Sounds bombard them from every angle, including shouting, maybe a quad bike, and plenty of distant and not-so-distant sirens.

“Look, Robin,” he whispers, when it seems safe. “You’re not in deep shit, like me and Eddie. Maybe you should go home to your mom.”

“Nice thought. Mommy Dearest has probably rented out my room already.”

Steve hums sympathetically, while pausing to mindlessly kick off his trashed sneakers. “If it’s any consolation, when I was reported missing, nobody noticed my parents rushing back.” He’d asked Hopper, casually enough. “I’m guessing they didn’t bother."

“That sucks, though…means we could nip back to your place for a warm shower, clean clothes?”

“Trust me, I’d murder for that. You really should go, but—” The sound of way-too-close voices interrupts him. After a minute longer, shuffling forward, she wrings his fingers crushingly tight. 

“Uh, Steve? Look.”

Up ahead, the waterway flows into a culvert. The entrance is barred with a metal grid. 

“Oh, thanks a bunch, fairy-guardian-water-spirit-angel-parent,” says Steve. “Great short cut, just great!” A dog growls so close that they startle as one, resulting in a loud splash. He shoves Robin toward the opposite bank. “Go! I’ll try… something.”

“How’s that gonna help?” she hisses, letting him bundle her ahead. “It would be kinda sad if you lightning-fried the dog because it’s not the dog’s fault—"

“Scram, will you? I’ll give it a quick shot—mind the freakin’ dog—and be right behind.”

She scrambles into some bushes at the top, and he prays she keeps going. All he hears is goddamn barking. Christ, can it smell my blood? Still, he has to keep it together and come up with some damn heavy rain, and fast, to destroy her scent as she escapes.

He crouches down, conjures up their recent discussion about parents. Eleven told him to channel anger, so that’s a decent start…

Grrrrrr!

Steve jumps up, whirls about. A foam-flecked mouth snarls at him from the top of the bank. He’s faintly relieved to see the canine owner of this huge and scary mouth is on a leash. Unfortunately, the leash is held by a tall guy in khaki, a semi-automatic tucked at his side.

He shines a flashlight directly in Steve’s face. Steve meekly raises his hands. He’s too stunned for real fright.

“You shouldn’t be here,” says army guy. “Woah, you’re filthy! You got papers?”

“Huh?” Hopper hadn’t been kidding about the military dictatorship.

“Got a name, kid?”

He glances down at his Hellfire Club t-shirt, cringes back into the dazzling beam. “Eddie Munson?”

“Outta the ditch. Keep your hands where I can see them.”

Steve doesn’t instantly obey. He’s still trying to figure out if this is really happening, and why exactly he said he was Eddie. To protect him, right? Then Eddie can get clean out of the state. Oh, and because he’s so obsessed with Eddie that he can’t stop thinking about him.

A second later, the dog-handler is in the stream with him. He grabs Steve by the arm, and snaps into a lapel radio: “This is MWD-handler 7. Inform O’Sullivan that fugitive 1 is apprehended.”

…

Eddie POV

The forces dragging Eddie home to Hawkins are suddenly spooking-him-the-hell out. 

It’s not all about Steve anymore. He’s hearing water. Loud running water, which draws him toward what turns out to be a nonsensically pathetic-as-piss stream. He jumps in and follows, even as he starts to panic for real.

Steve said he was hearing water. Now I hear it too. What does this mean? Wtf does this BS mean!?!

He presses on anyhow, finding he simply can’t stop thinking about THAT KISS. He’s reliving it over-and-over. At least, the good parts, before Steve fainted on him. Did Eddie daydream the delicious twisty, flirty things that Steve did with his tongue? 

Then he’s thinking about Steve’s butt. 

You never gave THAT BUTT the squeeze it deserved. Holy shit, Munson, you’re such a loser. 

Most torturous of all, the idea that it might be all over between them… Crap, it makes him feel physically ill. How can the idea of losing somebody he never really had hurt so much?  Oh, and when the heck did he kick off his sneakers and start wading bare foot? He has absolutely zero memory of doing that. Still, the cold water doesn’t seem to bother him.

As darkness falls, he spots some familiar landmarks, and realises he’s only a mile or so out of Hawkins. Which is also totally cuckoo, because there’s no way he should’ve travelled back so fast. For the first time since he set off, he stops dead.

Reality check, Munson—pretty much everybody in this dump you call home believes you to be a freakshow-turned-serial-killer. And you’ve come storming back for some douchebag rich kid who dumped you.

There is, however, a single good side to his progress into Hell. He pulls out his walkie-talkie out of his pack, switches it on, and tunes into Dustin’s coded wavelength:

“Anybody there? This is a code-red. CODE RED!” Okay, being officially too ‘old’ for the Party, he’s not supposed to say that, but desperate times call for desperate—

“No way! Is that you? Over.” 

At Dustin’s reply, some dam deep inside Eddie bursts. His face crumples, and he shamelessly, softly weeps. “Yeah, it’s me, buddy. It’s me.”

“Roger that. What the hell are you doing? This place is overrun with wannabe Nazis.” The hairs on the back of Eddie’s neck stand suddenly on end, and not because of Dustin’s news. “It’s a warzone. You should be in the next state by now!”

Eddie drops the walkie-talkie and shoves his hands in the air. Some military-fascist-knucklehead is pointing an assault rifle at him, though he’s weirdly numbed to the horror of it all. He honestly hadn’t expected it to feel this inevitable.

“Roger that?” says the walkie-talkie.

Eddie grins, so manically goofy that his face aches. 

“Name or papers,” demands the son-of-a-bitch.

“Uuuuuh…” Okay, he’s blown this. Nobody with nothing to hide, blunders THAT answer. “Steve Harrington?”

He said that to protect Steve, right? If they think I’m him, they’ll… torture me instead. Oh shit. Oh Shiiiiiiit!

A big angry dude pummels into Eddie from the side, crushing him into the mud. 

Part 16

tags: @estrellami-1 @kal-ology @finntheehumaneater If anybody else would like to be tagged on this fic or any of my writing, please let me know. Thank you for reading so far :)

(also part of my steve whump fic series on AO3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 16

[deathless--aphrodite]

tagged by @sixofsol ty ly bb 😙

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

45!

2. What is your AO3 word count? 252,227.... geez

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Atm just pynch, but other than that i've written multiple fics for the magnus archives and the dragon age games!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

my bones into your bones - trc, pynch, 631

if we climb high enough - trc, pynch, 558

that hour of the party - trc, pynch, 456 (this one surprised me!)

see you, be seen - trc, pynch, 453

licking honey off a thorn - trc, pynch, 432

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes i am somewhat renowned for answering comments like seconds after they're posted bc i crippling addiction to my emails

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

god i don't know if any of my fics could be said to have angsty endings - maybe too late to be late? it's set in between s1 and s2 of tma, is why, lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

all of them are pretty happy but i'm gonna say if we climb high enough!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes but apparently it's always more feelings-based than porn based. i wanna write some weird shit in the future :v)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

when i was about 12 i wrote an enola holmes/bbc sherlock crossover - this was before the enola movies obvo, and one of MANY

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

again, not so far!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yep, the wonderful Iriettta translated my bones into your bones into russian!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but most of my fic ideas are inspired by conversations with friends!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

it's jaime and brienne. like i thought abt this for a long time, and i know i've written so much pynch fic, but it's always braime, you know?

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

i've been picking away at a PhD student au where ronan is a single parent to opal and adam is writing his doctoral thesis on different forms of grief for like, two years, and i love it but i don't know if i'm ever going to finish it to the quality i'd like.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm pretty good at understanding a character's POV, especially in regards to trauma/high emotion, even when i haven't experienced anything similar before. i know this to be a necessary skill that most writers have, but i do think i'm good at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

too concise. it's the same crit i always got on essays in uni - this is good, but where's the rest of it?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

if i was against this i'd never be able to tamquam alter idem again so there you go

19. First fandom you wrote for?

sherlock 🤢

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

my bones into your bones is the one i'm proudest of, and to the rib has some of my favourite lines i've ever written in it, but i think there are bones in the foundation is me at the height of my powers. it's my genre, it's a fairly fresh idea, and i had so much fun writing it - and on a time crunch, at that, to get it posted by halloween.

thanks again @sixofsol! tagging @flightspathfic and @behindtheatlantic if they wanna!

[blessphemy]

[ID: Multiple screenshots of text, in various colors, backgrounds, fonts.

1: I think there is pressuring people to turn every negative into a positive, but we should be allowed to say “I went through something really strange and awful and it has altered me forever."

2: Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving. I mourn what could have been, what will not be, what I can’t save.

3: And I’ve got a lot to pine about / I’ve got a lot to live without / I'm never gonna meet / What could’ve been, would’ve been / What should’ve been you.

4: “How much strength does it take did hurt a little girl? How much strength does it take for the girl to get over it? Which one of them do you think is stronger?”

5: Screenshot of post by tumblr user “inkskinned”: of course I’m angry. do you have any idea how many times someone should have helped me?

6: Give me back my girlhood / It was mine first

7: ‘Cause you were high school / And I was just more like real life

8: Screenshot of post by tumblr user “inanotherunivrse”: in another universe, my window is open and im lying on my floor. I am 12 years old. Nothing bad has happened to me.

9: You kill yourself and immediately wake up as a child on your parents bed. You’ve been asleep for half an hour. The sun is shining.

10: Oh, I want to be a baby again / oh, I want to forget / oh, I want to be a baby again / oh, I want pure thoughts in my head

11: Screenshot of post by tumblr user “dakotajohnsongf”: women be looking at pictures of their childhood selves and trying to find a way back to them.

12: Screenshot of post by tumblr user “ryebreadgf”: you can never go back! You can never go back! You can bite and scratch and beg but you can never go back!

13: Collage: Background is of a grainy image showing a corner of a room with photos hung on the wall. Glued to this backdrop is a silhouette of a person wearing a wide brimmed hat, cut out of a photo of the fruit-laden branches of an orange tree. Text is words cut out of a magazine and arranged on the collage: “I want to be myself again / I want to be six / I want to stop knowing / everything I know”

14: Screenshot from the show Bojack Horeseman. Two characters are sitting on a terra cotta rooftop. One is a human, the other is humanoid with a horse head. In the first panel, a character says: “Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? Life so bitch and then you die, right?” In the second panel, a character says: “Sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living.”

15: Sorry, I can’t take your touch / It’s just that I fell in love with a war / Nobody told me it ended / And it left a pearl in my head / And I roll it around every night.

16: god rest my soul / I miss who I used to be / The tomb won’t close / Stained glass windows in my mind.

17: It is possible to live without memory / Nietzsche said / but is it possible to live with it?

18: The text is in all caps. Letters are jumbled unevenly upon a background covered in red, yellow, black, orange scribbles. Text reads: “You’re gonna have to learn to live with this.”

19: A photo of two humanoid cartoon characters drawn in simplified line style: one is wrapped in organic folds, the other has geometric patterns on its skin. The first says: “What has happened to you?” The second says: “Almost too much friend.”

20: A screenshot of a post by tumblr user “heavensghost”: You haven’t lost who you are, you’re just different now. and that’s okay /end ID]

grieving the person you used to be

marian keyes// ?// bigger than the whole sky, taylor swift// fiona apple// @inkskinned// would've, could've, should've, taylor swift// father, the front bottoms// @inanotherunivrse// ?// memento mori, crywank// @dakotajohnsongf// @ryebreadgf// quote: deathless, catherynne m. valente edit:? // bojack horseman s6 e16// a pearl, mitski// would've, could've,should've, taylor swift// ?// ?// ?// @heavensghost

[munsonology]

Not to be a hater but quite literally if given the chance I would absolutely lay into my ex friend. Like he called me a slew of names spaced out over time each one worse then the previous, shared my trauma with people and tried to use it against me, and even told the kids I babysat for years MY FUCKING KIDS (not mine but basically they were) (and their parents) that I was a bad influence and a bad person. Like I took the name calling, but then I distanced because of the wife situation, but then I find out the rest of this shit????

Like ONE CHANCE I'd take it. Let me fucking at him. ESPECIALLY if I was in a group! Like you trying to come for me???

You??? No degree barely graduated high school can't swing a hammer or change your own oil man??? Coming for a smart strong bachelor degree woman???

You lived with your parents for years, not because of a cultural thing, but because you were "scared" to live alone! Bending to your mother's every beck and call. I should call you Norman Bates with how far up your mother's ass you are.

I could get a man or woman or ANYBODY if I wanted. I have options. remember when you had a crush on me dumbass and asked me out remember when you simped for me and took me to the movies for free what about that concert that was over 300 dollars FOR FREE cause you wanted me so bad? I could have had you and DIDNT and no one wants your 30 year old ass thats why you chose an 18 year old you fucking creep THAT is why we aren't friends and then all your dirty little secrets and skeletons about what you told others about me came out. You think your shit don't smell because you are full of it

You think you are so good and kind and everything you do is golden well its fool's gold you clown. Karma gonna get you just you wait (and thats the only reason I haven't fought u yet like...im trying to be the better person but they say one more thing in my presence...)

(And yes it is fucked they went for the 18 year old and it is even more fucked that they are now married like it was so quick like who thought that was okay not me that poor girl I hope she gets out cause he is not good he is not the love of her life hes just a man!!! Let me run him over cause YOU ARE A CHILD AND) (no I was gonna be petty af and post a throwback photo and tag everyone cause I have a picture of me, him, and his wife when she was 4 and he was 16 like 💀💀)(also again no shame to her if she needs help i am getting her out but she is devoted to him and disillusioned rn he got her brainwashed and yes we all grew up together and yes its a fucked situation and I want to go all Carrie Underwood on his ass and dig a key into the side of his car and knock out his headlights but karma is coming for him and karma could do better then me) (sorry for spilling in your inbox I am a ball of hate found out today and I mean AN HOUR AGO he actually was the one to spread a rumor about me that haunts me to this day as well as telling people about secrets I had told him that were not ok to tell and he has the fucking nerve to have come into MY HOUSE under false pretenses just to record me out of context and share it as proof im terrible oh fuck him)(please note as soon as I found out he was with the 18 year old I cut him out of my life but we work together just in different departments so I see him pretty regularly still sadly and I cant quit because I signed a contract but thankfully I dont have to see his crusty ass every day cause if I did....call me Elsa with the stone cold attitude he is receiving)

oh my god bestie 😭😭 first thank you for sharing 💖 he’s a weirdo for real. the fact he married an 18 year old is just sick, and what’s worse is you know he didn’t just meet her at 18 because they never do 😒

and that’s commendable of you to wanna look after her. it might take a while for her to see who he truly is. i think it’s important to remember she might not accept help :/ it might be healthier for you to take a step back. sometimes we need to put ourselves first for our own wellbeing. hopefully her family is aware.

it always hurts when people you think are your friend are the ones who purposely and carelessly hurt you the most. and i know you wanna fuck him up and key his car but he’s not worth going to jail over. the universe has a way of always working out, what we put out into the world we receive and trust he’ll get his for all the clownery he’s doing. it might take a while but it will. and when it does you can sip your tea with a big slurp 💀

[bradleymarshall]

I swear twice and let my guard down and then I am to blame

The trick is to remain calm and not swear and keep your cool under all circumstances

If you can

You can win under pressure

The game they play is sadistic

You can insult as much as you like and shatter their values and reputation but if you raise your voice or swear you’ve immediately lost

Play their game and you can succeed and destroying them at their own medicine

You must remain calm and charming and civilised and you can say the most atrocious things, as long as you are charming in your delivery.

The way my parents work is to avoid conflict

Avoidance constantly

Aloof

Escapism

Even when I suggested counselling they told us we couldn’t as if the domestic and emotional violence were to surface, then, they might put your mother in jail, and then you’ll be forced out of the home, and so until I earn enough money, I have to keep my mouth shut and tolerate it all. Oh but it wasn’t bad, he reasons:

Maybe it wasn’t but a compiled a list anyway

Here’s all the bad:

14 Ways mum was horrible

1 left me in Hong Kong for 2 hours because she left chocolates behind in the hotel. I was 8, and could have easily been kidnapped. When security approached me, I lied to him that my dad was over there, as I was concerned I’d be kidnapped.

2. Every Saturday without fail I was lost in Southland. Mum would leave me behind. I followed random people thinking they were my mother because my mum would walk off so fast. No care for her son walking off shopping.

3. Emotionally Cold, calls me a worm for hugging her. Very seldom offers physical or emotional love.

4. Every time she offers a gift she uses it against me later on. “I bought you this and this is how you treat me.” Now I hate gifts

5. Stone walls me for months. Doesn’t speak to me.

6. Holds grudges that doesn’t end

7. Threw scissors at me drawing blood

8. Screaming, saying I’m gonna kill us all now while driving. I see black and white.

9. Fights with dad and brings up his sex life, that he liked dominatrix when I was 7.

10. Took photos of her half naked when I was 4.

11. Used to key cars that stole her spot in the car park. Write on the windshield with lipstick. Would road rage, frequently as a kid, swerving her car into other cars. Terrible example of road rage to me as a kid.

12. Possible affair with Kevin. Every weekend Kevin was there. She was flirty with other guys All the time, especially on the dance floor. My friends would call me slut mother due to her promiscuity.

13. Very secretive. I know very little about her or her past. She says, I don’t need to tell you anything about my history.

14. She lied to me that Elaine was my half sister. I found out by myself by working it out logically when I was 16.

Here’s all the good:

Good

1. When it comes to material gifts and love. She is abundant

Made me breakfast every morning and dinner, washes my plates, clothes. Threw me a surprise 21st birthday. Touring the world, many vacations paid for.

2. When I was sick, she said, how I wish it was me who was sick and not you and hugged me

3. She accepted me being gay crying over the letter I wrote her.

4. She loves me and cares for me, always liking my Instagram posts.

5. Buys many tickets to my shows for her friends to watch

6. Is a great source of inspiration in her confidence and self assuredness and charisma

7. Is highly functional and knows what she wants. Not someone to mess with. Knows her self worth.

8. Highly critical. Good and bad. It’s made me have very high standards.

9. Scratched my hair until her hands were sore to get me to fall asleep

It just reminds me to never get involved with them on any matter, period.

Also, you should be able to handle criticism.

Perhaps you should ask what is the celebration regarding.

Why do you get so volatile. Chill Mason.

I write about myself so frequently as Mason

I actually have to take a second to remember what my real name is

Kinda scary

[jessekushner]

Jesse Kushner 4/2/23

Professor Guerra

Writing About Literature

FOLLOW UP on our in-class exercise

1. I want to be an NBA player. I want to make my beautiful girlfriend my beloved wife and I want to have a family.

2. I can’t imagine not succeeding in something related to basketball. I’ve played it my whole life; sharing tears of joy and sorrow in admiration of the sport and its history. I want to eventually want to create a life with my soon to be wife and spoil the heck out of that kid.

3. I can’t image playing basketball at such a high level. I’m not that good at it no matter how hard I try or how much work I put into the sport. I don’t see my self getting married to be honest. I got commitment issues. I quite frankly don’t like kids either so having a family would not work out to be honest.

4. I am pretty average.. not in the major leagues nor in the minor leagues. My relationships with people can be put into a nutshell that I don’t fully trust them, but, I don’t want to let them go because they’re all I got. Hopefully I will reach a point of nirvana but I don’t that’ll occur anytime soon.

5. If I work tirelessly everyday. Putting blood, sweat, and tears into my work. The tallest of mountains might not be the only thing I climb over. I will treat my girlfriend the best I can and strive to be the best person I can be everyday so, that we can have a life that best suits both of our needs.

6. I would bring my grades up and research schools I can train and advance my skill level. I will make sure that I am taking the most optimal route to eventually achieve this dream that the majority can not even begin to fathom. I will manage a schedule as-well so that I may have time to hang out with my loved ones and stay level headed.

7. I’m gonna workout twice a day. Harder than I’ve ever had before, make connections, and do very good in school (with the goal to eventually transfer to a more prestigious school). Keeping a Small friend group is essential to keep all distractions out of my way. My only competition is myself, I’m gonna show this world what being a Kushner really means…

8. I remember this story like it was yesterday. I was an 8th grade kid who was mildly athletic and never took basketball seriously. I loved basketball but if wasn’t my main sport really and I wanted an excuse to start playing. My friend Rosario at the time who I considered to be really good at basketball played me in a 1v1. I put up a good fight you know, but in the end he beat me. He didn’t just beat me no he destroyed me and had me lost on almost every possession. He had won by a whopping close margin of 16-1. I asked him how he got so good. Rosario said that he simply just played every day for as long as he could cause he just loved the sport, sometimes up to 8 hours a day. I was like woah this kid is going somewhere and I started to do my best attempt at Micheal Jordan and began to work hard. I would play everyday: training, working out, dribbling drills, shooting drills up until the next time I would face him which would be the end of 8th grade. This time it was different. I didn’t miss one shot and the score was eventually in my favor at 16-0. I was amazed at where hard work actually got me because Rosario wasn’t nearly as good as I thought he’d be.

9. Relating step 1-8 there is definitely a lot of similarities between the two in the sense that if one continues down this path to work hard, he will eventually achieve is goals. But, since then I haves struggled with a lot of confidence issues from constant bullying and mental torment of just wanting to succeed and failing. I will achieve my goal one day and I want everyone around me to succeed with me because it’s lonely at the top and I genuinely believe that it is set in stone and even if it ain’t writing in stone, ima carve my name in that bitch because I will play in the NBA.

[heartbeat-eras]

Ok - Lets do this shall we? And coz it's me and I find the reactions of my heart interesting I recorded her while doing this.

1. What is your earliest heart related memory that made you feel funny/fuzzy/flustered? My first memory was hearing my mums heartbeat and asking her what it was. I was like 2 or 3. But my first flustered moment was probably in school when there was a song with hand actions and the word "heart" in it. I never could place my hand in the centre of my chest so I did it to the left. One of the girls saw and was like "no - your heart isn't there , it's here" and put her hand directly on the centre of my chest. I was so mortified.

2. When intimating the sound of a heartbeat, how do you do it? Are you a lub-dub, thump-thump, etc person? Or something else? Lub-Dub

3. What’s your favourite auscultation point? Coz Y'all kept pointing out my split, Pulm has become mine. It was Tri before but now I will default to Pulm / Erbs as I love that sound.

4. What’s your ultimate SFW cardiophilia related fantasy? Probably just having someone examine my whole heart with a 12 lead and echo just because I'm curious. Doing a stress test version too would be dope.

5. And what about your ultimate NSFW one? (Feel free to skip this!) - Umm that's hard coz I haven't really dabbled to know what I like but maybe the above pushing my heart too far and needing medical help to correct it.. or start it again... I'm not sure...

6. Do you prefer to listen to be listened to? A bit of both, however whenever I imagine the above situations I am always the patient / being listened to. *Shrugs

7. Have you ever had an awkward moment at a doctor’s appointment? Not heart related. I usually focus so much to bring her down that she's beating "calmly" for any heart or heart adjacent exams.

8. How about any “oh shit, have they clocked that I’m into this?” moment with strangers, acquaintances, friends or family? When going through my room my parents found my steth... it was never brought up. And back in Myspace (showing my age here) days I did a quiz like this and it asked "What's your fav sound" which I said - Heartbeats - Someone replied saying something like - yeah they are the best sound in the world... I got scared and deleted the post.

9. What’s your most recent heart related experience that gives you the warm fuzzies (in a wholesome, SFW way?) When I was having an anxious day, one of my close friends shared so when I was at work I had a body double and didn't feel alone. He shared for 7 hours like it was nothing but it meant so much to me.

10. What about in a NSFW way? (Again, feel free to skip this!) - Gonna skip this as I don't really have one.

11. Do you love or loathe the effect that caffeine has on your heart (if you drink it)? Used to love it. Now I can't drink caffeine on medication so loathe?

12. Do you own a watch that tracks your heart rate? Apple watch - but I forget to charge it all the time. I also had to turn off high heart rate notifications as she regularly goes over 100 with stimulants and it was annoying me

13. How about any other equipment (e.g. a steth, blood pressure machine, stemoscope, pulse oximeter, etc)? 2 X Steth (the purple littmann Classic and a Kincare Cardiology (which was my one and only for ever), Blood Pressure monitor I got when i started meds, spoilers i forget to do it. whoops, 3 lead ECG, Stemoscope. Polar HRM.. I think that's it.

14. Do you prefer listening to a fast or slow heart rate? Slow mostly because they are calming and you can hear what they are actually doing. But I don't hate fast ones.

15. Do you prefer having a slow or fast heart rate? Slow, she used to be so slow and now she's fast most of the time.. I miss the calm.

16. Have you ever done anything to purposely make your heart rate speed up or slow down? If so, what? Exercise.... coffee... in my 20's I tried poppers and weed. I don't anymore. Breath holds... I just can't pressure coz that s*** hurts lol

17. Have you ever stethed someone or taken their pulse outside of a medical scenario? lol - no.. well with my friend when he was training to be a nurse but I count that as medical scenario.

18. Has anyone done the above to you outside of a medical scenario? Same as above

19. Do you tend to hear “are you nervous?” or similar things from doctors because your heart is always beating so fast when they steth you? Do you have white coat syndrome? I always try to calm my heart when I know it's about to be checked in some way so no.

20. Have you ever complimented a medical professional on their steth? .. No.

21. Has a medical professional ever expressed curiosity about your knowledge of hearts after you've mentioned something that a typical patient wouldn't know? Lol I go the other way and pretend I know less so as not to be caught out.

22. Have you ever told anyone in real life about your interest in hearts? Nooooooo.

23. What’s your favourite heart related lyric in a song, or favourite song that gives off cardiophile vibes? Like any Taylor Swift song....

I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore for you 'Cause you're losin' me

orrr

'Til we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same After three months in the grave

24. Has anyone ever caught you listening to heart audios, stething yourself, etc? If so, how did you explain yourself? Nope - not yet

25. Do you have a nickname for your heart? Well I always referred to my heart as She or Her. When I joined here someone asked for my name and as I was doing this anonymous to allow me to feel comfortable to post I had to come up with a name. First name that came to mind was Anna. I don't know why. But as people called me it more, by the time I gave my name to the first person I was like - "I feel like she has her own personality and is an extension of me. And I think Anna suits her". So I call her Anna which has worked really when talking about her reaction separate to me... if that makes sense.

26. Have you ever had an ECG/echo/stress test, etc? 12 lead ecg for my meds - anti climactic as I never saw it coz i was too freaked out at the time and it was just a cautionary thing.

27. What’s the ultimate comment that someone can make about your heart to fluster you? Probably just making comments about how she's currently beating.. she's pretty reactive so anything does it.

28. Do you struggle to say the words “heart”, “heartbeat”, etc aloud? OMG yes. But i've forced myself to use them so it's easier now. But there are times I will go to say it and have to pause before pushing it out.

29. What’s your favourite pulse point on yourself? How about on others? Radial all round. Carotid is just too life and death (think hospitals and greys anatomy). radial is just convenient and inconspicuous

30. Has anyone ever commented on your heartbeat or pulse being visible? No. She's a bit delicate and not visible that im aware of...

OMG that took 45 mins. hahaha - did any of the questions make her race? where there any more that weren't there that you MUST know?

Cardiophiles, reblog with your answers so your followers can get to know you! ♡

There are 30 questions, more below the cut!

1. What is your earliest heart related memory that made you feel funny/fuzzy/flustered?

2. When intimating the sound of a heartbeat, how do you do it? Are you a lub-dub, thump-thump, etc person? Or something else?

3. What’s your favourite auscultation point?

4. What’s your ultimate SFW cardiophilia related fantasy?

5. And what about your ultimate NSFW one? (Feel free to skip this!)

6. Do you prefer to listen to be listened to?

7. Have you ever had an awkward moment at a doctor’s appointment?

8. How about any “oh shit, have they clocked that I’m into this?” moment with strangers, acquaintances, friends or family?

9. What’s your most recent heart related experience that gives you the warm fuzzies (in a wholesome, SFW way?)

10. What about in a NSFW way? (Again, feel free to skip this!)

11. Do you love or loathe the effect that caffeine has on your heart (if you drink it)?

12. Do you own a watch that tracks your heart rate?

13. How about any other equipment (e.g. a steth, blood pressure machine, stemoscope, pulse oximeter, etc)?

14. Do you prefer listening to a fast or slow heart rate?

15. Do you prefer having a slow or fast heart rate?

16. Have you ever done anything to purposely make your heart rate speed up or slow down? If so, what?

17. Have you ever stethed someone or taken their pulse outside of a medical scenario?

18. Has anyone done the above to you outside of a medical scenario?

19. Do you tend to hear “are you nervous?” or similar things from doctors because your heart is always beating so fast when they steth you? Do you have white coat syndrome?

20. Have you ever complimented a medical professional on their steth?

21. Has a medical professional ever expressed curiosity about your knowledge of hearts after you've mentioned something that a typical patient wouldn't know?

22. Have you ever told anyone in real life about your interest in hearts?

23. What’s your favourite heart related lyric in a song, or favourite song that gives off cardiophile vibes?

24. Has anyone ever caught you listening to heart audios, stething yourself, etc? If so, how did you explain yourself?

25. Do you have a nickname for your heart?

26. Have you ever had an ECG/echo/stress test, etc?

27. What’s the ultimate comment that someone can make about your heart to fluster you?

28. Do you struggle to say the words “heart”, “heartbeat”, etc aloud?

29. What’s your favourite pulse point on yourself? How about on others?

30. Has anyone ever commented on your heartbeat or pulse being visible?

[adayinthelifeofb]

Welcome to my life.

Hi everybody (anybody...) !

Opening this blog was a big step for me. I have been thinking of doing it for a couple of weeks now but I couldn't find the courage. I wanna introduce myself a little, even if no one ever sees this post.

Hello, I am B, 24 years old, I have two ginger cats (my baby on my profile pic). I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, I am diagnosed with BPD since I was 17, no medication, no therapy (lmao I need it). Also diagnosed with ADHD since I was like 5, unmedicated again (lmaoooo). I dealt with severe depression for an entire decade, from 2009 to 2020 (11 to 22). I got out of it (unmedicated too, listen, I said I was a mess). I dealt with alcoholism when I was 17 (2015), got sober, on my one year anniversary I used drugs for the first time and became heavily addicted to speed (early 2017). I heavily relied on it for 4 years, greatest love of my life, helped me stay alive. Got to my breaking point on February 9th 2021 and I celebrated my 2 years anniversary last month !!! Hardest thing I've ever done. Haven't popped a single pill since.

I was an anorexic during my addiction, everything turned around food consumption, calories burning. Would only eat once a week for months at a time, on and off for 4 years. When I stopped using, I started binge eating. The past two years have been uncontrollable for me. The first year, I went in a state of mind where it was better stuffing my face rather than popping a pill. I gained 100 lbs in the process, in 12 months. Not even exagerating. I gained another 20 lbs during the second year. Two weeks ago, I said enough was enough. I was at 119.5 kgs. I started doing these 2 videos on youtube, cardio for plus size people, 20 minutes. I did 7 sessions in 11 days. Let's see how it's gonna go !!

I have a boyfriend, my soulmate, the love of my life. I met him summer 2017. It has been a rocky relationship to say the least. When we met, he was more of an addict than I ever have been. We were a couple after 5 days, moved in after 3 weeks. He got clean late 2018. He has been my anchor ever since we met. He is my biggest emotional support. Every year our couple is getting stronger and stronger, every year is better than the last. I don't know how I'd survive without him in my life. He was/still is my first ever boyfriend/relationship. I've never wanted to pursue dating, until I met him, I was 19, he was 20. He was the same, never had a girlfriend either. Going through mindless, unemotional sex with unknown faces. When we met, we both knew. We were made to be together. It was hard but I would do it all over again and again and again.

I graduated high school in 2014 at 16, I never did anything else with my life. Only worked at shitty fast food jobs that made me wanna die. I went back to school last august, in Infography. Found out it wasn't my place after 3 months, pursued Secretary instead. Started February 28th. I've been doing amazing so far.

I have a very small family. It's only my mom and sister. I have a brother but he lives very far away, we didn't stay in contact. My mom lives a couple hours away from me, she has preschool twin boys and she takes care of my grampa who has dementia since christmas 2019. My sister lives in another continent with her girlfriend since 2018, we keep in touch daily but she only comes around once a year for a few weeks.

Long post, but kinda explain every aspect of my life I could possibly write about in my future posts. I actually can't wait to start talking to myself ! This post got me all excited !!

[vanderwoodlings]

Lonely Boy: a Dan Humphrey playlist (x)

Text version of the tracklist (and commentary) under the cut.

1. “Make You Better,” The Decemberists. But we're not so starry-eyed anymore/Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters/And won't it all just come around to make you/Let it all unbreak you to the day you met her

1. “Make You Better,” The Decemberists. But we're not so starry-eyed anymore/Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters/And won't it all just come around to make you/Let it all unbreak you to the day you met her

2. “Gun Song,” The Lumineers. I don’t own a single gun/But if I did, you’d be the one/To hold it, aim it, make all of the bad men run. A lot of this song is actually about finding out your father isn’t who you thought he was, but well. That’s pretty fitting too

3. “Wonderful,” Everclear. That thing about your dad? Uh yeah. I don’t wanna hear you say/You both have grown in a different way/No, no, no, no/I don’t wanna meet your friends/And I don’t wanna start over again

4. “Hand Me Down,” Matchbox Twenty. In which Dan is both singer and subject. You’re just one more tired hand me down/‘Cause no one’s tried to give you what you need/So lay all your troubles down/I am with you now

5. “Teen Angst (What The World Needs Now),” Cracker. It’s art kid hours

6. “Lonely Day,” Phantom Planet. I just got here, and I already want to leave/It’s gonna be a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely day

7. “Rabbit Hole,” Jenny Lewis. Something something derena breakup cycle

8. “Ache With Me,” Against Me! Have you realized all the things you’ll never be?/I’ve got no judgement for you, so come on and ache with me

9. “Other Boys,” Paisley Fields. And I am not like the other boys/Other boys fit in so naturally/Other boys are just who they oughta be. When he’s queer

10. “At Seventeen,” Janis Ian. I learned the truth at seventeen/That love was meant for beauty queens/And high school girls with clear-skinned smiles. He’ll be fine he’s just gotta be dramatic

11. “Nobody,” Mitski. And I don’t want you pity, I just want somebody near me

12. “Boy Like Me,” New Medicine. She’s the only girl I see/She don’t wanna be with a boy like me

13. “She’s so High,” Tal Bachman. I know where I belong and nothing’s gonna happen, yeah

14. “Wonder Boy,” Lesley Gore. If you’re so smart/How come you don’t know I love you? Have we considered: Dan POV excludes the fact that half the Upper East Side is in love with him

15. “Rasputin,” Boney M. Okay hear me out—*gunshots*

16. “Eleanor Rigby,” The Beatles. All the lonely people/Where do they all come from?

17. “I Don’t Love Anyone,” Belle and Sebastian. If there’s one thing that I learned when I was still a child/It’s to be alone

18. “Be Nice To Me,” The Front Bottoms. And I said, Daniel Humphrey is neurodivergent

19. “I’m Not Okay (I Promise),” My Chemical Romance. I’m not o-fucking-kay!

20. “Young Man,” The Chicks. This is the quintessential Dan&Milo song to me, in some ways—not for the arc itself, but for like. What happens. You’re of me, not mine/Walk your own crooked line

21. “World Spins Madly On,” The Weepies. I thought of you and where you’d gone/And the world spins madly on. Have you noticed I’m obsessed with the Milo arc yet?

22. “Baby You’re A Haunted House,” Gerard Way. ‘Cause, baby, you’re a haunted house now

23. “This Year,” The Mountain Goats. There will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year

24. “survivin’,” Bastille. And I’m not gonna lie, say I’ve been alright/‘Cause it feels like I’ve been living in a world upside down

25. “Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?” Stevie Nicks. Dan has a love language. Dan is lonely because no one says it back. This song is actually also about the Milo arc because of why it was written

26. “Love Song,” Sara Bareilles. You see, I’m not gonna write you a love song/‘Cause you tell me it’s make or break in this. We’re all fighting the publishing industry tonight!

27. “How I Survived Bobby Mackey’s Personal Hell,” Lincoln. And we can argue semantics over who left who first/But one thing’s for certain: I needed you most

28. “Freakin’ Out On The Interstate,” Briston Maroney.

29. “Dog Days Are Over,” Florence + The Machine. Leave all your love and your lonely behind/You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive

30. “Most Of All,” Brandi Carlile. To remember what comes back/When you give your love away/Give away your love

[kithtaehyung]

Was gonna do this in order of how offended I am but it’s really hard to choose…so this is just in order of how I saw them 😐

1) Him tracing ily on her skin 😭 why did my brain immediately think of him doing this before he has built up the courage to say it out loud, like he can’t say it out loud yet but he’s bursting at the seams so he just- ✋🏽😭

2) I was expecting the 3tan yoongi violence but this cannot be tolerated 😐😐😐😐😐 #1 post I’m mad about as of rn. This Tae is illegal 😭😭😭😭 (spoiler alert: it gets worse 😭)

3) Lmao no but Ryensuela for the Nicholasname 😂☠️ (I am still partial to when I see people call you Ryen Kith Taehyung in all caps, it makes me giggle every time). Didn’t have a particular post to tag for this, just know I thoroughly enjoyed seeing people try to lengthen your name 😂 nicknames are my fave.

4) Sad I missed this ask game but the ones asked were so good 😂😭 (wish there were more sneaky 3tan bro and jk ones but it was still a good mix 👀)

5) I’m sorry wut is this 😐 this is going pretty high on the list. You teasing a Netflix and chill 3tan drabble and bros identity? 🤨

6) I- 😐😐😐😐 your audacity has reached a peak once again 😭 PEAK I SAY agahsdklggl

7) 😳😳😳 this should be illegal. How dare you throw this out into the world.

8) Nope 🙅🏽‍♀️ Absolutely not. Nopenopenopenope. Nope 😐. If I refuse to acknowledge it did this really happen??? 🫢🫢🫢 I-

9) AND I DIDNT THINK IT COULD GET WORSE THEN IT DID 😭😭😭 RYEN! Explain yourself 😐😭 *aggressively shakes tree* agshdkdlgg

10) 👁👄👁 GET BACK HERE 😭 you and your damn tags IM AT MY WITS END ISTG

11) Not the Wendy’s 😂☠️☠️☠️ I’m sorry…but this is just SO funny to me. After the horny hours too. The timing is UNREAL 😈 not so much fun when you’re not the one being the menace is it (Also having the live in those screenshots is taking me out, his face in them is perfect 😂😂😂☠️)

12) IM SORRY WHAT!!!?????? I missed a whole ass huge spoiler 😳😳😳 (I’ve said it a million times but I’ll say it again, your tags I- asgdjjfkg YOU WANNA FIGHT OR??? What do you mean is it!??? You literally said “highly requested FULL basketball scene coming up” DONT PLAY COY NOW 😭)

13) Okay yeah…I…I have…a lot of…feelings…about this 🙂🙂🙂. This is fine. Everything is…fine 🙂 (AGAIN THE TAGS WE’RE GONNA THROW HANDS)

14) 😐☹️☹️☹️ this was uncalled for, unprovoked and just RUDE

15) ☠️ I’m not even sure I have anything more to say than just 😩😩😩😩

16) Ryen…😐 This…this takes #1…the teaser!!??! Agshhsjfkflg 😐 don’t talk to me….DONT EVEN LOOK AT ME 😭🥴 (wait help I just saw the estimated help date nooooo, you can’t do this to me I’m ✨unprepared✨. THIS IS WHAT YOU MEANT WHEN YOU SAID SOMETHING I HAVENT GOTTEN TO YET. Never been more thankful for a delay in release dates, if I came back to a full ass YOONJIN fic dropped I would have yeeted my phone off a balcony)

17) 😐😐😐😐 uncalled for and unprovoked pt 2 ☹️

18) Last peak of audacity reached…the way you tagged this 🍊🍊🍊…SEE…this is how I knew. Just knew it smh 😐. When I saw you were conveniently releasing 3tan9 visuals on jk’s bday 😒

And on that last note…guys…I’ve been saying this but 3tan jk is gonna be at the release party duh!!!! For how long and what interactions we get 👀 only Ryen knows but IM READY 😈

And this has been ‘what you missed in practically 2 weeks on this godforsaken blog’…hope this puts things in perspective 😐. It was a rollercoaster of emotions let me tell you, 10/10 do not recommend going through it in a short time span…it’s…✨a lot✨ 🥴😂 and you’ve created monsters. We’re all menaces™ 😂

Let’s hope tumblr doesn’t randomly eat this ask bc I lowkey don’t wanna hyperlink everything again 😂🤧

OH MY GOD MIKAYLA LMFAOOOO okay… yeah…. We… don’t have any excuses for what the fck you missed🥴

I was gonna respond to all of these when I realized that it’s much more hilarious to just make a scholarly blanket statement and say “If you’re gonna skip, just know you have a lot of make up work to come back to.”💀💀💀

But seriously, we missed you so much! Definitely would’ve been more screaming involved (and faster justice for Friends!!!) All the tags screaming I am CACKLINGGGG HAHAHAH you know to read the tags!! Always read the tags!! Yoonjin piece is still in the works but I’ve realized that I wanna make it perfect so🤪 Stay fcking tuned.

The theory you have is super interesting so we’ll see what happens in the next parts👀👀

[deliciouspeachpirate]

I posted 1,194 times in 2022

12 posts created (1%)

1,182 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@carryingthebanner

@mysandwichranaway

@cold-butter-warm-toast

@hotcocoandmarshmallows

@shippingcannons

I tagged 554 of my posts in 2022

#newsies - 144 posts

#jack kelly - 52 posts

#newsies shitpost - 38 posts

#davey jacobs - 34 posts

#percy jackson - 26 posts

#lord of the rings - 22 posts

#important - 22 posts

#newsies fanart - 21 posts

#fansies - 21 posts

#tumblr culture - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i’m currently in a room with 11 other people who are presumably asleep and will be for another hour and a half so i can’t listen to it now

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

This is a tumblr hug, or a tumblr high five, or a tumblr sitting in the same room together, pass it on to your ten favorite followers or mutuals <3

AYYYYYY THANK YOU BESTIE! Right back at you! I saw your other ask too, you're so sweet <3

1 note - Posted August 10, 2022

#4

crash

2 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

Ok now I'm curious to see which newsie you associate ME with

Okay so I went to look through your blog and the very first thing I saw screaming lady and cat meme and so my brain instantly said Race but then then the very first couple posts were about how nice it is when someone's open about how much they care about you and giving someone the bigger or better part of something you're sharing because you love them and so I'm gonna say you're Jojo.

I've always seen him as a bit of a jokester and always trying to make people laugh, but he's also the sweetest guy ever and one of the first people to know if someone is having a bad day. Basically, I think you're really cool!

2 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#2

for the newsies association, either kath or finch!

Ooooo interesting! I am very honored that I remind you of our queen, her majesty Katherine Pulitzer Plumber! And Finch is cool too, I never would have thought about that! We stan our bird man

2 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sprace Royal Wedding AU (Let me know if anyone has an idea for a good title!)

@gendistic42 Here is your fic for @newsiesgiftexchange! I absolutely LOVED your prompt! This was my first time writing an au, so I hope you like it. It's also important to note that this fic isn't finished yet because it is going to become my first ever series! Updates will probably be sporadic, but shall be made with love so hopefully that counts lol I'm so glad I got to be a part of this! Without further ado, here is the first part of *Inset Title Here That I Will Come Up With Later!* I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Spot was pissed. He'd always known that one day he was going to have to marry someone who was chosen for him, someone that he wouldn't have much time to get to know, and given his track record, likely someone he wouldn't even like. All the same, to find out that Denton had chosen someone without even talking to him first made him angry.

Denton had been his father's advisor before he died. He'd practically raised Spot and while it was safe to say he was one of the only people Spot actually loved, they two didn't always get along very well. Denton wanted to make sure that Spot would be ready to rule when the time came. Seeing as how his father had died years ago, he would be crowned king as soon as he turned 18, leaving him with far less time to prepare than most had. Spot had watched Denton rule as the Lord Protector, learning all he could from him, until he effectively took over at 16. It was a hard life and while Spot often wished it had been passed to someone else, he wanted the best for his people and wasn't willing to risk turning over his kingdom to someone who didn't care about it as much as he did.

Spot's inevitable marriage was one of the most common debates between the him and Denton. It always started the same way. Denton would ask if Spot had thought any more about one suitor or another, Spot would get defensive over all the other things he had been working on lately till Denton pointed out that Spot was using that as an excuse to avoid thinking about it. Spot would get angry, Denton would yell back and they'd fight till Spot inevitably stormed from the room to lock himself away in his office for hours on end. They always made up quickly, they couldn't afford not to, and they both understood the other's position. The last argument had ended with Spot telling Denton to just find someone for him so that he didn't have to think about it anymore.

Sitting in his office, Spot now regretted telling Denton to decide without him. Spot realized that while he trusted Denton to try not to doom him to a miserable life, he had given up what little choice he'd had in finding someone to marry. Knowing Denton, it was likely someone serious, stoic, and far to boring for Spot's taste. Someone who could help him run his kingdom well, but probably not someone he would want to spend his life with.

Most of the reason why Spot loathed the idea of an arranged or political marriage, though he would never be caught dead admitting it, was that he wanted to have a chance to actually fall in love with someone. He wanted the chance to admire them from across the hall, for his friend's to tease him whenever his crush walked in the room. He wanted to ask them on a date and go to the movies or watch the stars together talking about everything and nothing. He wanted to hold their hand and watch their face light up when they talked about their passions. He wanted to make pancakes on a Sunday morning while his partner cooed over their kid in the living room. He wanted so many things that he'd never get the chance for.

Spot jumped as his phone vibrated next to him. Looking down he saw the name lighting up the screen. Of course Davey would be calling him. Spot had known Davey Jacobs for as long as he could remember. The Jacobs family had always been granted nobility back when Spot's grandmother had been queen for their ongoing efforts to align the monarchy with the needs and feelings of the people. Ever since the family had been both politicly active and well loved by most of the nation. Because of their close relations with the royal family, Davey, Sarah, and Spot had practically grown up with each other. Spot wasn't always sure if Les knew that he was technically his future king, but Spot didn't care for Les to ever see him as anything other than his older brother's stressed out friend.

He huffed and ran a hand down his face before declining the call and going back to the document he had been trying to distract himself with earlier. Not five seconds later his phone lit up again. Groaning he declined the call again, unlocking his phone and typing out a text before the young politician could call him another time. Just as he was about to send it, that damned picture of a smiling, gap toothed 8 year old Davey took over his screen again.

"Davey what the fuck do you want?"

"Wow, Denton said it was bad but I didn't expect that," Davey's languid and amused voice gave away that Spot's reaction was exactly what he had expected.

Spot gritted his teeth a took a deep breath before he responded.

"Jacobs, I swear, you'd better have something real important to say."

"Dude you just got engaged and you don't even know who it is. You literally told your dad to choose someone for you."

Only a handful of people knew that Spot would often refer to Denton as his dad. Given that his actually father had been the king and was now dead, it would have been considered disrespectful of him to refer to anyone else as his father, even though the former king had never had much of a hand in raising Spot in the first place.

"Yes, which is why you had better say something interesting in the next five seconds or I'm hanging up, I've got work I was doing before you called!"

"Uh huh, because you were definitely focused on that and not on your future husband," Spot could hear Davey rolling his eyes through the phone.

After a moment of silence, Davey huffed slightly before speaking again.

"Look Spot, how about I come over tonight. I don't want you stewing around your office and don't say you're working, we both know you aren't gonna get anything done like this. Let's just watch a movie, maybe sleep out on the balcony and talk. You need some time to process this."

Spot sighed before answering. "Ya know what Dave, you pick out the movie and I'll cover snacks."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Spot laughed, "You'd better, Jacobs."

20 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[justfor2am]

2-8, 16, 17, 23, 26, 29, 37, 47, 49, + 50 for the ask game 4 writers or whatever the name is? u rbed it like .5 hours ago i think n i was gna send questions when u originally did but ive had a shit day so i didn't get to until now 😓 don't feel pressured to do them all btw since theres a lot of them!! n also for any of them w specific fics feel free to do whatever fic u want :3

HELLO you are my favorite ever. actually. omg. i hope you feel better soon, i answered all of them btw so i hope this helps

2 not rpf, not beta read, angst, hurt/comfort, yeah that all tracks 100%

3 touching…. big on non-verbal communication acting as whole conversations, big on flowery language (i'm trying to cut back so as to not seem pretentious lol) also scarian. i just wanna write about scarian. they are my everything i must put them into every scenario ever.

4 in 7th Sense how i named all the andriods. scar is GT-2319, numerical code for GTWS. doc, pearl and ren all have similar naming themes lol

5 i'll befriend you in reverse, why the hell is scar stuck in the woods? despite being a powerful fae, he can't leave the enchanted woods, they're like a physical part of himself that has its own sentience and desires. essentially, a deal he made when he was young turned sour, and now the forest follows him everywhere. the woods want scar to live as long as possible, because he's what keeps the woods alive.

6 so soon enough, you'll find you never knew me at all this fic could be seen as a companion to another i wrote, where grian's the second ever Watcher to be "born" and not "chosen". the "void" scar sees in grian? it's a Watcher-side effect.

7 a million dreams for the world we're gonna make, again lmao. this was my first ever HC fic, and i sometimes find myself thinking about that lonely citadel grian's floating on in the middle of the void, akin to a giant bird cage for him to grow up in, alone.

8 It's Never Enough by we are the dirt, i'm really tired rn but i'd be happy to go into why this BANGS if you'd like tmmr

16 idk if you can tell, but i am in fact an enjoyer of actor au!s. give me more, actually.

17 this is a fic i've been TRYING to write but chapter 2 eludes me still: grian's an avian in a world that fears and despises hybrids, he grew up raised by vexes because the rest of his nestmates and mother were slaughtered before he was born, he grows up causing minor problems for human villages to pass the time until he's eventually caught by a trapper, scar. here's chapter one

scar's a vex hybrid himself, but hides it in order to scam his way through life. grian, trapped, is now at the mercy of a mad scientist who, in his desire to quell society's fear of hybrids, wants to dissect him. grian blackmails scar into helping him stay alive and tries to escape, eventually the two finding common ground.

oh, also mumbo's the mad scientist. he makes dioramas of mobs and decorates his lab with them for fun.

23 honestly, a proper superhero au. at least a one shot, but specifically for the romantic tension.

26 no dialogue, easy. honestly i kinda wanna write one with no dialogue just as a challenge.

29 i made a couple of playlists for my actor au, here's some notable songs from grian's and scars':

grian: Don't Assume What You Don't Know by Grace VanderWaal jealousy, jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo You Stupid Bitch by girl in red

scar: SCOOP by Lil Nas X feat. Doja Cat Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High by Arctic Monkeys Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

(again, very sleep, happy to go into more detail later)

37 skeleton is the best fucking fic i've ever written and i will forever stand by that. yes it's short. yes it's a one-shot. please don't let that deter you, it's the best scar characterization i've ever done in my life. read it. please.

47 though i've closed my eyes, i know who you pretend i am is a pair of steel-toed boots. once perfectly shined and polished, a seemingly important royal crest stamped on the outer skin of the tongue, but the silver has seen better days, worn down from exposure to the elements. still, they are well loved, the original, now somewhat ratty laces tied in double knots, a bow on each shoe still low enough to threaten tripping. these shoes are still in continual use, despite being told a fancier pair would be a smarter choice. no, he quite liked these ones, thank you very much.

49 i'm meant to be working on chapter 19 of my actor au, butttt i've not started so have some bullshit i just came up with instead:

The pair had set up rules for a good reason.

"You're staring again."

One of them had a inclination towards a poor memory.

"Is that a crime?"

Grian could only hope Scar would try and remember.

"It's about to be."

50, answering 25 as a cheeky bonus: https://www.onelook.com/ is a GODSEND. the thesaurus page? heavenly.

[got a question?]

[crimswnred]

Alright I’ve listened to the album a few times now and I’m absolutely obsessed and I loooooove it. Ranking it was so hard! I didn’t really dislike any song so even the low ranks I still love????

Also, I did rate the vault tracks bc I’m never not going to listen to the 3 am version lmao and I also always love the vault tracks so much.

So here is my rating on release day! (which lets be honest, will probably change after I’ve listened to it for a few hundred hours lmao)

1. Bigger than the whole sky

2. You’re on your own kid

3. Midnight rain

4. Lavender haze

5. Sweet nothing

6. Anti-hero

7. Glitch

8. High infidelity

9. Dear reader

10. Vigilante shit

11. The Great War

12. Labyrinth

13. Would’ve could’ve should’ve

14. Snow on the beach

15. Maroon

16. Karma

17. Mastermind

18. Paris

19. Question…?

20. Bejweled

Aaaaaah! Do you have a favourite lyrics? I hope there’s some Borbie inspo in there somewhere for you :)

I kinda can’t believe it’s here now. The waiting and anticipation was so much fun I’m actually a bit sad it’s over now. But thankfully we still have soooo much content to look forward to! I really hope Taylor brings out another documentary someday! What’s something you really want her to do?

I’m also already kinda dreading tour announcements bc I obviously want to go see her but I also dont want to go alone and it’s gonna be expensive and with Covid still.. (I live with someone immunocompromised and have asthma myself so still have to be careful) but not going sounds shit and I would have the biggest FOMO. aaaaaaaaaah!!!

And I hope things feel better for you soon 💕 life gets so overwhelming sometimes but hey, we got this. Somehow, things will be okay. Just gotta always believe that. And sometimes we have to cry a bit and feel our feelings so they can pass. Just make sure to take care of yourself.

And you said you got 2 cats right?? What are their names? If you want to share of course :) give them a nice cuddle, there’s nothing better than kitty cuddles!🐱

omg sorry for taking so long :( but I finally got some time to answer (it's currently 1am so forgive any typo)

yeah, for sure!!! I love the whole album, even the ones I ranked lower. for me it's her best pop album to date, she did SOMETHING! and I'm so glad we are having visuals this era!!!! I missed it sm

I would love to see a documentary like LPSS! it was so interesting hearing about it and I love the "live" versions but I'm just so so so happy with all we got already!!! and the visuals?? impeccable

this is such a good idea too! I'd love to hear her. maybe she can get a space somewhere and just record a few episodes? I don't know... I just would love to hear her opinion about random things like books or movies hahaha

awww I hope you can make it to the tour!! I'll be doing my best to get tickets for sureee, especially because she's coming here after a long time (can you believe the last time she came her was during Red era??)

favourite lyrics? hmm, I think You're On Your Own Kid. really resonated with me and how I see things/life. Would've, Could've, Should've hits HARD too!!

I actually liked Paris so much HAHAHA I haven't heard the deluxe yet when I answered you, I think?!

about Borbie, yeah! some songs reminds me of them but I'm not coming on them (cus spoilers) except for Lavender Haze, which is exceptional. Plus, Bejeweled and High Infidelity are so Barbie...

thank you for the lovely words! you're right, life ain't always easy but that's the ups and downs of being an adult, right?!

and yes, I got TWO CATS! their names are Hakan and Mustafa — the previous owner gave them those names, I don't much about it unfortunately.

here they are on my bed hahaha 💞

[danielxricciardo]

Prompts

1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"

2. "I didn't expect to see you here."

3. "Have you seen this dog?"

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”

6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”

7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”

8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”

9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"

10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"

11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"

12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"

13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"

14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"

15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"

16. "If I have to choose... no"

17. "Stop breathing like that!"

18. "I just did my nails"

19. "I'm the best driver în the world"

20. "Will you marry me?" "No"

21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"

22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"

23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"

24. "Apparently we are dating"

25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”

26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"

27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"

28. "This is yours"

29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."

30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"

31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."

32. "And I took it personally"

33. "In here I am the boss"

34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"

35. "What will you do if we break up?"

36. "Where is my T-shit?"

37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments."  "There is always time for sarcastic comments."

38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."

39. "The way you flirt is just awful"

40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."

41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"

42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."

43. "That's what he said"

44. "I am scared of your boss"

45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"

46. "Everyone is afraid of you"

47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"

48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"

49. "My parents don't trust you"

50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"

51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”

52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”

53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”

54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”

55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”

56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”

57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”

58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”

59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”

60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”

61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”

62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "Well this is awkward."

64. "Im too sober for this."

65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"

66. " I want to protect you."

67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"

68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"

69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"

70. "I thought you were dead!"

71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

72. "Take care of you, please"

73. "If your best friend single?"

74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"

76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"

77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"

78. "When I see you my knees get weak"

79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"

80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"

81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."

82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."

83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."

84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."

85. "You were my best friend"

86. "You did what?"

87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"

88. "You are enough"

89. "Take the shirt off"

90. "Your nickname is bitch"

91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"

92. "How could you ask me that?"

93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"

94. "Are you allowed to drink?"

95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"

96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”

97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”

98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”

99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”

101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”

102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”

103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”

Song lyrics prompts

1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”

2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”

3. “It’s a better place since you came along”

4. “You make me love the things I hate  “

5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand

6. Your faith walks on broken glass

7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"

9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"

10. "We only said goodbye with words"

11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"

12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"

13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"

14. Your kisses lift me higher

15. When you're ready we can share the wine

16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"

17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"

19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.

20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man

21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.

22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid

23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill

24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

25. A lover would just complicate my plans

26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind

27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years

29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world

30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands

31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine

32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart

33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

34. Is it really me you're missing?

35. Remember that night?

36. How many times can I break till I shatter?

37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home

38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."

39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."

40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."

41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."

42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."

43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."

44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"

45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."

46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."

47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."

48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."

49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."

50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."

51. “I wish people liked me more.”

52. “How could I ever love someone else?”

53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”

54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”

55. “I hope that you’re okay.”

56. “I defended you to all my friends.”

57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you” 

58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”

59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”

60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”

61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”

62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”

63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”

64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”

65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”

66. “He feels like home.”

67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”

68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”

69. “When can I come back?”

70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”

71. “I’ll always look best in your head”

72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”

73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”

74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”

75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”

76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”

77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“

78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”

79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"

80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love” 

82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”

83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"

84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"

85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"

86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”

87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”

88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."

90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."

91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."

92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."

93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."

94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."

95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."

96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."

97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"

98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"

99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"

100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"

Who I write for

Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo

Lewis Hamilton

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Esteban Ocon

Carlos Sainz

Lando Norris

Lance Stroll

Sebastian Vettel

Mick Schumacher

Pierre Gasly

George Russel

Football

Erling Haaland

Jadon Sancho

Giovanni Reyna

Jude Bellingham

Julian Brandt

Marco Reus

Roman Bürki

Emre Can

Mats Hummels

Leon Goretzka

Joshua Kimmich

Kai Havertz

Mason Mount

Christian Pulisici

Ben Chilwell

Gerard Pique 

João Félix

Ianis Hagi

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Virgil van Dijk

Jens Petter Hauge

Martin Ødegaard

Alexander Sørloth

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10