#like actually making them scary and stuff
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bialbovi · 3 days ago
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I know I don't need a label to live but god do I feel miserable sometimes (paradoxically from the label and the unknown)
I am genuinely happy for my friends and their love but it is such a maze for me and maybe that's how it's supposed to feel
I've confused a friendship with what my ex friend considered "romantic" and I regretted it when I agreed to date, all this was resolved later because I confessed our feelings vary a lot
Thing is I do not feel miserable because I do not have a partner right now, absolutely not, I feel so happy because I get free time for myself and for my friends and other stuff and hobbies
I don't even want to date right now or anytime soon. And I still hang out with my friends and I am satisfied. Socially, I mean. But in the future I would love for it to work out with a future friend
I feel miserable because I am afraid that this label is going to fit way too well and I wish I was wrong. I wish I'll discover that I'm an aromantic who can feel romantic attraction just a little. for just like one person. it's scary because I don't know how it's supposed to feel
maybe I'm just an aromantic asshole who has suuuuuper unrealistic expectations, that could be the case as well
but... when would it ever stop me? I am well aware that we are all imperfect works in progress and I really want to think people are comfortable with me, or well most of them. I try to approach most people I meet, because gods I love meeting people and getting to know them, and if we establish trust we can talk about more complicated stuff and I am like down to. Because I cannot handle smalltalk constantly, we need to throw in some deeper thoughts and- and
I don't know
It just feels funny because out of all people why am I, the one who is (100%, I am so fucking sensitive) very sensitive and emotional and overthinking and overanalyzing and you know. It's funny that I'm the one who just doesn't get romantic attraction and if it happened to me like right now I'd be scared shitless. Because I don't want the chemistry of my brain to decide what I feel randomly. Like I know love from the first sight is most likely an overblown thing but also people somehow get magnetized and they just stick to each other and then just something happens. Maybe I just love everyone??? Maybe my problem is I want to have a relationship somewhere in the future but this someone has to be a friend first, but that's like the bare minimum?? That's how normal people would build a relationship, would they not?? (I mean you can date even if you know each other for a week but hey. trust issues)
It's also funny because I actually love fandom shipping, oh I love pairings so much, I love putting my own characters into relationships and I love it when some pairing clicks with my preferences. but like hell I don't even know what they are feeling and I am probably dooming the romance a little too much but I like poetic shit. I just wish. I experienced a fraction of this. but not right now because I'd be uncomfortable. I want to dissect my brain. We could argue that "Hey Albo you probably write them through the lens of friends with benefits" DING DING DING WRONG. well not entirely because it feels like how I view relationships in general is friends. with benefits. but not entirely but like??? this shit is so complicated. none of my ocs are officially friends with benefits lmao they and my favourits characters have "proper" relationships. Maybe the reason why I like pairings is my creative attempt to tap into something I have not experienced. and ofc these relationships are not perfect but that's what I love about characters and people and------
Maybe that means I am not a lost cause entirely? But like... I understand the deeper connection between people but I have not felt it if it makes sense. I can't come up with a metaphor you get me
But I cannot see myself in a relationship. And I really want to.
And I am well aware that relationships do not have to fit a structure or be stereotypical, it can be anything
But also..thinking about relationships still makes me want to prioritize my autonomy and it feels like a relationship takes so much of your time, and some type of force keeps people together for decades, even living together. "duh Albo that's what you do in a relationship, usually". I know! And I still dedicate time to my friends but it feels like getting into a relationship would be very restricting.... or maybe I am hoping for the only ideal unrealistic option again..... sigh
Even though I could keep living as I do now, for some reason I am afraid my friends are going to eventually prioritize their significant others. we should not go there right now
I just don't want to stay alone forever.
I know there are demisexuals but that's not my case entirely
and yes even though I think I still have the label bisexual somewhere every single time pride month arrives I put the green stripes on my accounts because well it stays consistent for now
and I am in my early 20's oops
what is wrong with me (rhetorical)
Aromantics who want a relationship are Valid
Aromantics who DON'T want a relationship are a Valid
Aromantics who hope to feel romantic attraction are Valid
Aromantics who feel a LITTLE romantic attraction are Valid
Aromantics who are romance repulsed are Valid.
Aromantics that enjoy sex are Valid
Aromantics who "Sleep around" are Valid
Aromantics who want kids are Valid
Aroaces are Valid
Allosexual Aromantics are Valid
Queer Aromantics are Valid
Hetro Aromantics are Valid
AROMANTICS ARE FUCKING VALID
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frances-baby-houseman · 2 days ago
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This is really interesting to me! We have never let our kids watch youtube. Here's what we do for technology in our house with 2 elementary school aged kids. It works for us!
No devices. We do not even have an ipad! When we travel they can watch shows on our phones, but they essentially do not play with devices at home. I have a coloring app on my phone that Alice is allowed to do when she gets stressed out, and Joe likes to practice writing in my notes app and look at the maps app, but that's it. No games, no watching shows on a device.
They cannot access youtube, on a device or on the tv. There is so much kid-friendly tv that has been produced by tv producers. No need for them to watch anything that involves that kind of scrolling or algorithm. Of course there is good stuff on youtube-- cool old cartoons, and they love watching Girlfriend Reviews with Adam, they used to watch Jonathan Bird's Blue World-- but they can only watch stuff we approve and turn on for them.
Basically unlimited tv. We are not monsters, in fact, we do not limit tv in any meaningful way. We have found that sometimes they watch a ton of tv but most of the time they watch a little bit then wander off to play. When the tv is far away from their faces and they have to share it with the whole household (we have but one tv!), it's just not as all-engrossing as a device.
They both have school ipads-- Joe's lives at school, but Alice gets to bring hers home (I gave permission) bc she likes to use some school provided app to make book reports, and also they have an overdrive app called sora and she has a lot of books on there.
There's stuff on our phones that they love-- especially instagram filters-- but it's a treat! We love tv in our house, and adam and I are obviously addicted to our phones, but our kids are actually pretty device-free. I personally find youtube gross and scary so this is how it goes in our house!
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cheschesterpossum · 2 days ago
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First I want to say that I hope you’re feeling better, I can definitely relate to school taking a toll on my mental health (exams are a bitch). This AU gets my gears turning and I wanted to give some ideas for CITF for you to maybe look at when you are felling better. These are completely random and mostly unrelated to each other and in no particular order. I hope you enjoy!
Humans are only slightly shorter than cybertronians, when humans put the Cybertronians in their little pocket universe they made it so that the Cybertronians were bigger then everybody else, why? Because it’s funny. So when a human visits Cybertron they are the size of an average Cybertronians.
Humans or Y/N view Cybertronians as their children, as well as Primus AND Unicron. So if a scenario where the Lost Light has a human on board and they come across Unicron it’s going to be really weird for the crew because the human liaison is threatening Unicron with time out if he keeps doing what he’s doing (idk eating planets or smth) while Unicron is pouting and whining that he isn’t a kid anymore. While this exchange is happening the crew of the LL is both confused and horrified that this human is telling their version of Satan that they’re going to put them in time out.
The 13 original Primes where the only Cybertronians that knew Humans created them and since the Matrix of Leadership contains the knowledge of the past Primes this mean that Optimus knows that humans created his species.
Cybertronians were created as the next evolution of human robotics. The original 13 Primes were created to see just what they could do with the newly developed technology that was used to make Rung.
Scraplets act like dogs and/or cats around humans.
Every Cybertronian when they see a human and/or Y/N(The creator of their species) they subconsciously recognize them.
the reason why many Cybertronian alt modes have seats, steering wheels, cockpits, etc. is because they were originally made for human use.
I’m in the process of thinking about more stuff especially lore so I wanted to share some of my ideas.
OMG YES YES, THESE ARE AMAZING I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE SHARE THEIR IDEAS WITH MEWIHDSUSENHEJ-
Im doing better now dw:) and also thank you so much for these lovely brilliant ideas, im stuffing these into the AU no exception!!
I really like the idea of human being the same size as cybertronians in this AU, I've been thinking about for a long time actually. Also if we're the same size, that mean we're practically giants compared to everyone else in the pocket universe (aside cybertronians). Their alt-mode having seats, steering wheels, cockpit, ect also make so much sense as they're originally made for human's use. IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER.
When imagining y/n and Unicron, i thought of that one scene in Adventure Time where Finn ground Ice King, i could see this totally happening lolol. The Lost Light, beside Rung prolly, are flabbergasted.
Scary robot Satan getting put in time out- actually, y/n putting both Primus and Unicron time out whenever they argue. Great, just great.
The 13 Primes being created using the same tech that was used to make Rung/Primus, the only few cybertronians knew of their species roots, those who obtained the Matrix of Leadership will be passed on the knowledge.... humans..humans originally created the Matrix? The Allspark?
Hnggggggggg-Domesticated Scraplets go brrrrrr, they're like tiny dogs/cats. Cybs be looking horrified as we pet those metal-eating pest that destroyed cities. Building an army of Scraplets and commanding them, i have no doubt some of you out there would try it. Shi, it'll be like minions and gru/j.
The bots getting that faint feeling of connection, they can't exactly put their digits onto it but it's there. It scares some and intrigue some, but they're all drawn to it in some way. What is it about these fleshies that feels... different? Yet familiar at the same time? Who are we to them?
Slowly, subconsciously, as if a long buried forgotten instinct surfaces. They started to listen more intently when we talk, when we indirectly or directly ask for something they fetch it for us, ect. It feels... right, like something clicked. It feels so right when we touch them, a small accidental brush, a handshake, or a friendly pat.
Before they knew it they started craving it, they feel like they lost their purpose when we're gone (like a vehicle being abandonded, left to rust and fall apart through time). It's scary and it's as uncanny as how much they yearn for a human's touch-
Im going insane.
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cuppajj · 1 day ago
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Is this the ask box? If not I'm so sorry I'm not used to tumblr literally only got it to follow your au. It's great btw love everything about it.
But anyways can I bonk Dragonberry on the head with a stick to get her attention and say hi, but with a really long stick so I'm not close to her when I do so? She's my favorite but she's scary and I while I would prefer to write her a letter but I don't want her to have my return address.
Also I've had my own au in the works but never actually bothered to start writing or properly figuring things out till after coming across your au which inspired me to start doing so and I just wanna know how you set everything up and figure out how to use who where and how you split stuff into arcs? I currently have 2 arcs based on the continent one being Crispia and the other being Beast-Yeast and both have chapters but Beast-Yeast is becoming a lot longer than Crispia due to how my au is set up and the fact the canon Beast-Yeast storyline isn't fully out and I was just wondering if you have any advice on what's best to do? I do want to eventually post my au and I've already gotten to work on the designs but I don't know the best approach to make it into something that others who are unfamiliar can understand.
Also sorry this turned out kinda long!
You can!! Though would advise against using the stick bc if she feels like it she could grab it and fling you while you’re still holding it
As for your second question about how I use arcs, it really just boils down to being a way to manage all the characters that are in the AU. Each saga focuses on one beast (including their respective of the original 5), the protag who is usually related to them in some way, and whatever story takes place in that specific arc alone. They’re meant to be mostly self contained, but they’d feed into a bigger narrative. The Vanilla Saga is a little different because while it’s technically self contained, Crepe as the main main character dabbles in a little bit of everything; but only crepe (also choco technically). You’re not likely to see Princess in the Lily Saga unless the two stories surrounding Dragonberry and Midnight Lily overlap.
I do have plans for sagas to overlap before the “all stories converge for the final saga” part, for example the Vanilla and Berry sagas will converge in Parfaedia well before that, but that would be a single story arc before they split up again. Some sagas can/would share the same events but would still largely be self contained.
Im going off on a ramble here but basically, BAAU’s sagas are just info management lol. With so many characters and stories to handle, it would be very confusing and bad if all of them were crossing over at every turn. When you’ve got a plot line that can serve as its own thing, it’s easier to tell where pieces of information belongs.
So that being said I should really start tagging the sagas in some of my baau posts 😭😭😭
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the-artist-grimm · 2 days ago
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ahhh okok i see!!! personally, i always headcannoned that the little inspiration dance that the Lamb does in game to be a (now lost) part of sheep culture that has been integrated into the cult as a way of keeping it alive.
and teir abhaile riu reads to me as "mermaid girl sneaks off to seaport town to dance with sailors, exasperated sisters tag along to scold and chaperone"
so that Plus the aforementioned Kingdom Dance vibes of Anthea's cult all kinda combined in my head
i wonder if anthea and narinder ever have a tangled-esque kingdom dance scene together? im not sure if it was ever mentioned before, id have to double check
(LOVE YOUR ART BTW‌‌ this au is quite dear to me)
Aw that's actually a really cute headcannon! In Crimson Angel Anthea does various dances (namely all are akin to ballet in a way or like...whatever dance one could imagine a forest nymph doing in the moonlight), during rituals as it's also a carry over from sheep culture. While not strictly required, most rituals really just need the chant, sigils, and caster's blood, the more elaborate/beautiful presentation does make them feel less scary to the cult.
And they very much do dance together! After the whole reconciliation thing happens Anthea starts having Narinder act as their dance partner during rituals, mostly since it's kinda fun to dance with their husband, and during festivals dancing is just part of the event.
Also thank you!!!! Been a little absent cause irl stuff has me a tad busy, but I'm still doing AU stuff bit by bit in the background! Got quite a few drafts to finish editing for text bits :D
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radio-sunrise · 2 days ago
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Oh no Kathrine’s ranking zenodrugies
S-tier
Class D, it would be so hot to not have any filter and having to admit a crush to someone.
Class H, I don’t think I need to explain why the hypnosis drug appeals to us :3
Class Z, it would be nice not having insomnia, that’s all
A-tier
Class A, being super needy and wanting cuddles all the time is very cute, and we think we’ed like it
Class E, it’s the nerves thb, worlds most paranoid creature
Class G, transitioning is hot, what more can we say
Class J, see class A for why I like this
Class M, I’m not a doll but I think not being able to move or think while being cared for would be nice
Class N, specifically the one that making you keep on orgasming, keep on cumming in her gay ass
Class W, not being able to speak and only making puppy sounds is very hot
B tier
Class C, I like slow burn so stuff like this that speed runs the domestication process is not my favourite
Class L, I guess it could be nice but other zenodruggies do it better
Class S, not the biggest fan of sensory play
C tier
Class F, I don’t really know what this one does but it sounds cool, the placement might change
Class O, kinda scary but the florets on them are pretty cute
Class P, why not just use class h for this, I’m a hypnosis pilled floretcel
D tier
Class B, this is a therapy drug to me, they give us them when something bad happens
Class V, I don’t actually know what this one does either, weird
-Kathrine 🩌
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irisinluv · 1 day ago
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Ok so here’s the sitch. I binged chapters 1-15 of love and deep-space play throughs on YouTube, then realized I was invested, missing tons by not having the myths (?) and dates and cards and whatever else, so I am now playing the game for myself so I can have every ounce of lore and properly become hyper-fixated on this game.
Wasn’t sure if this should go here or my side blog but Caleb exists so it stays here.
Here’s what I’ve decided/my thoughts on everyone so far
.
Caleb: I would fold in two seconds for that man. Scary soft dom vibes. Like I’d run away and he’d be like “â˜ș it’s ok, it’s my fault for not making the place more secure, let’s make sure you’re not hurt and then I’ll cook you a meal and you’ve gonna sit right there on the couch and be comfy!đŸ„°â€ and the would get that serious look and say softly, “But also- let’s not try that again? Ok?” And then if I tried to get up
 def couldn’t. Idk why we were in a chair with wrist restraints when we were being interrogated. Mans whole Evol is gravity. His superpower is legit invisible bondage. Unless I’m missing something here. But. Man
. Toss me around like a rag doll
 also not him in game asking mc if he should collar her.
Sylus: sugar daddy brat tamer. Lets you run around the n109 zone getting into trouble, but he’s always watching and he runs the place so when you get yourself in a tight spot he gets to swoop in and be like “mmmm, had enough of that yet kitten?” Oh and he’d totally be the clicker type. Like the counter where every time you click it the number goes up? Would just let you do your thing, you’d think you’re being sneaky, and then he’d show up at the end of the day like “42
. Damn. Hope you don’t have plans tomorrow” But then when you’re good
.. mmm. Yea that man matches energy. You saw him give mc his card in game. That man just wants to spoil you rotten. I just know it. Even the twins are like “yo- that man’s feral for you, just chill here and ignore the crime stuff and let him make you his spoiled princess, ok?”
Rafayel: The whiney act he has is not my personal cuppa tea, but I feel like I need to give this man a chance when I get more into the game and lore. Cuz we all know that he’s not this aloof whiney ditz. He’s always got everything planned, keeps so many secrets, always gets us to go where he wants, do what he wants
. And then adds the whiney shit as a manipulation tactic. Still am confused that he’s a mermaid, and like, a god? And has a magic girl bond with mc? This is honestly one of the biggest reasons I’m playing the game for myself and really diving into everything instead of just watching play throughs of the main story. But. Yea, manipulative whiney rich boy who’s not actually whiney. Also so totally see this man laying down, arms wrapped around your waist as he uses your stomach as a pillow. Where he can look up as you with puppy dog eyes if you protest
. But also you really can’t move cuz his body is pinning your legs and his arms are not budging.
Zayne: Daddy? Sorry
. Sir? Sorry
. Doctor ? đŸ„Ž no but fr, I want to take him to a cat cafe. I want to find a scruffy little alley cat that hates everyone except Zayne and casually will climb on his shoulders. Zayne will be there with his rbf as someone is talking to him, not showing any reaction and acting like you’re the weird one for being shocked as a cat suddenly appears on his shoulder. We will raise a cat together if it’s the last thing I do. I LOVE how cold presenting but deeply loving this man is. Did you see him when his rival tried to take us to dinner? Lord he was so icy smooth with it too, like yes sir turn down the peasants, doctors orders said I need more vitamin D
. Also I want that man to be a father. I want his babies. I want him to make them cute little snow animals and help me meal prep healthy school lunches (he would totally cut the sandwiches into little dinosaurs and make those themed lunches. Doesn’t care if he’s busy, will always be willing to spend the extra half hour making cucumber stars.)
Xavier: I won’t lie to yall I don’t like this man very much. I don’t know. He’s giving “I’m gonna pine from a distance cuz I don’t wanna hurt you” vibes. OMFG EDWARD CULLEN. XAVIER IS EDWARD CULLEN! yea. That’s my headcannon now “I can’t tell you why I’m so mysterious
. It’s safer if you don’t know
” *sparkles in the light* like sorry man has a light Evol, he literally does. And there’s a flower field scene I just did as one of his bonus thingies
.. holy shit this fandoms gonna hate me for this but that’s it. They’re the same. I will continue seeking out things that validate this. Confirmation bias hates to see me coming.
Anyways. Love yall. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Have to wait for the daily stuff to refresh cuz I need to be level 21 to start chapter 3, and I’ve done everything I can to earn xp already. I’m level 20, it’s so close it hurts. I just want to speed run the main storyline till I have Caleb around, is that too much to ask?
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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mascothorrorhellhole · 6 months ago
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I can see this vision
my evil plan is to become a content farm for media that does not exist whatsoever i mean id still put effort into those animations, so it wouldn't even be a content farm .. but the intention is still there!!! it counts!! Shmeepy Deeby's Playtime Land sad backstory part 39 Do you understand me
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mishy-mashy · 10 months ago
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Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list
He's:
Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)
Long-legged
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Has a straight nose bridge
Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)
Has a strong jawline
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Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)
Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features
Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)
Even has a thick, muscly neck
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He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)
(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-
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-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)
The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one
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Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute
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Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:
Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)
Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO
Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor
Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.
Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.
Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?
Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor
He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.
Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.
These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.
Is logical, analytical, and calm.
He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.
Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).
Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.
We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.
Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya
While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.
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Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.
He actually communicates a lot
When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.
(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])
When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.
He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".
Is strong-willed and loyal.
He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.
Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.
AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.
Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.
Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.
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sluckythewizard · 6 months ago
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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dykedvonte · 2 months ago
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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leucoratia · 3 months ago
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Kraz, royal healer
Kraz (Razzy if they like you(but they like everyone)(except Jerry)) is a human (?) mage who voluntarily exiled themselves to the underground to follow monsterkind during the war. They are later appointed royal healer by the king and queen and has devoted themselves to the betterment of monster society ever since. They are the only human the royal scientist ever tolerated (although would you call sharing lab coats and beds tolerating or...something else?)
Information
-Species : mage (half monster, half human)
-Age : older than the barrier. As long as they will to live, it appears that a mage cannot age.
-Gender : apparently born a female, although it is unclear how sexual dimorphism develops in mages. Kraz does not specifically care.
-Soul : Green
-Height : 1.99m (6'5)
-Hair colour : Black (somehow iridescent ?)
-Eye colour : deep dark brown. Their sclera is grey as well.
-Build : sickly thin, actually skin and bones. They never eat much of anything, claiming that they do not need a lot of food. It worries people quite a lot, especially Toriel, but they have been like this for hundreds of years so... at least they're not dead ? Still, they scare the kids.
-Personnality : a sweet, calming presence. They exude an aura which makes anyone around them feel at peace. Although they are quite akward and generally anxious, they smile easily and brightly. Kraz is very friendly, caring, and kind to a fault. has quite an outdated manner of speech. A jokester. Always does their best to please people around them. Deeply devoted. Probably has some sort of attention deficit. Easily fascinated. Suffers from chronic bird behaviour (will bring you trinkets??).
-Likes : gardening, playing the piano, cooking, puzzles, collecting shiny trinkets, science, herbal medicine, cultivating bacteria, gift giving, late 1800's fashion, dark spaces, funny socks, Gaster.
-Dislikes : loud noises (especially clamoring crowds), being watched, sudden movements, bright reflective surfaces, small enclosed spaces, bitter foods.
Backstory
Kraz was born to a human mother and a monster father during the war, as mages often are. Abandoned by their mother, who could not endure the shame of their birth, they were taken under their father’s wing and raised amongst a small monster village. Early on, they manifested an extremely intense green soul and spectacular magical power, even for a mage. Although unequipped and unprepared to nurture such potential, the monsters in Kraz's community did their best to encourage the toddler's magical prowess, such as having them heal cuts and bruises, or speed up a few carrots' growth. But as war progressed, human armies swept through monster territory and eventually raided the child's village, pillaging and slaughtering everyone in their path. In these times mages were rare, being the product of monster-human relationships, but extremely sought after by humanity, who could only manifest minor magic potential. Stumbling upon the young Kraz and recognising in their physiology the traits of a "hybrid", human soldiers immediately identified them as a mage and took them away to be raised amongst humans. Their father, if he ever survived the attack, never stopped looking for his little bird until his dust settled on the ground. And so Kraz was raised in human war camps and settlements, amongst soldiers and other mages. Being so young, they only ever had vague memories of their time amongst monsters and soon put them to rest. As they grew, their healing powers grew with them, and it was soon clear to the commanders that Kraz may as well be the most spectacular healer that they had ever known, capable of rising men at death's door back on their feet and ready to fight in mere minutes. Suffice to say, as one of their greatest asset, they were sent from battlefield to battlefield, from division to division in order to rise the almost dead and reinforce the dwindling human forces. But they had a fault. Kraz, at their heart, was kind. Compassionate. Caring. And oh so, so young still, no more than fifteen. And the pain, the suffering inflicted by and to monsters broke their soul into pieces. See, despite all the propaganda, they could never quite bring themselves to hate monsters. Hate half of themselves. And so in the midst of the battle's confusion, in secret, they would slip a hand or a green bullet towards a bleeding frog here. A dusting lion there. They wished they could just run to them and pour their whole magic into the wounded, but the human soldiers watched them. Always. But eventually, as war was nearing its end, temptation was too great. They could take it no more. And so during a bloody battle, they slipped away from the soldiers surrounding them and ran to a fallen monster, who was already dusting away. A skeleton. The young mage fell to their knees, reaching for the monster's broken face with magic already at their fingertips and reassurances spilling from their lip, and poured everything they had left as the soldier tried to struggle and speak. He barely was able to call to them, in a language they didn't know, his bones just starting to reform, but fate is oh so cruel. Kraz could only slip their guard's attention for so long, and just as life started to flicker back in the man's face, they were torn off his bloodied body and promptly covered in his dust, their work undone by the fall of a sword. As the soldiers dragged the teen away, they could only claw down at the dusty floor to rack up the dust, and a nametag. Dingbats.
"Traitor", they were deemed. "An error of nature", "a freak", they were called. But a valuable freak nonetheless. Their magical abilities were still wholly unmatched through all of the land. They were needed. And so Kraz was beaten down, corrected, whipped back into shape. Into following orders. Royals spoke of banishment. Of a barrier. And they needed mages.
Finally, monsters were defeated. They were to be sealed underground. Kraz and the other mages assembled, staring down at a beaten monsterkind, a sea of eyes and bleeding hearts crying out at them as they chanted the words.
They couldn't do it. They couldn't.
They ran to them.
As the barrier rose up, this child fell to their knees in front of Asgore and Toriel and begged them to let them stay. To right this wrong. To help. They did.
And so Kraz poured their heart out. It wasn't easy, getting monsters to accept human help, even though they shared some physical traits. They slaved away for nothing in return, growing crops magically in dead ground and never taking even a grain of wheat for themselves. Endlessly imbuing water with their energy to create remedies for everyone. Only accepting the bare minimum of food to stay alive, even though they felt as if they were tearing this food away from the hands of the needy. They tried so, so hard to repair humanity's sins. Clear their name in the eyes of monsters.
And eventually, it somewhat worked. Instead of frowns, they were faced with smiles. Children stopped crying when they saw the healer's incomplete beak and started to spare them a smile. The elderly stopped refusing treatment from them. And even though they still had to face a seemingly unclimbable wall as they began further studies in medicine, biology and microbiology, chemistry, agricultural sciences, magical studies, anything to broaden their knowledge and help, they made it. (No thanks to the shy, awkward, standoffish and straight up rude engineering-chemistry-physics student which whom the king and queen pushed Kraz to hang out with. They said that it would "help the both of you, you kids would work beautifully together". Not that the mage minded, as a matter of fact they quite enjoyed his presence and always did their best to be agreeable and overall lovely company; but the skeleton never quite seemed to get over his absolute loathing of humans. Oh well, no matter. They'll keep trying anyways.). Eventually they did succeed and ascended to the position of "tolerable fellow student who I regularly hang out with" in the eyes of their adversary. When Kraz got their first doctorate, in medicine, WingDings even cracked a smile. And as the two completed their studies, the now mage-doctor was promoted to "acceptable collaborator". A win for the ages!
Kraz finally moved out of the derelict place they were practicing medicine in since the war to a more acceptable place (which was, well, their newly furnished house, courtesy of the royal family for their friendship and as a congratulatory gift for their doctorate) and kept working as always. But with an official title to strengthen their position, and what some may call a reluctant friend, things seemed lighter. Monsters were flocking to their office, business (which was still free but their patients insisted on leaving little somethings) was booming, their ties to their fellow "collaborator " deepening, and the doctor became sincerely appreciated in their community. Maybe not in all monsterdom yet, memories of the war never quite fading, but it was progress. Things were going well.
But it seemed that fate had other plans.
One day, plague broke out. The illness decimated monster populations, entire families perishing from an unknown condition.
And Kraz, oh Kraz, tried everything. Every spell, every potion, every cure they could think of. Nothing worked. They asked for help to the other healers, consulted with other scientists, even asked the engineers if they could think of something, anything. Nothing worked. They could only watch as the malady swept through monsters, powerless to watch them die, just like they did during the war.
No. No.
They would not stand for it, they would not STAND FOR THIS !! They will find a cure. At any cost.
They locked themselves in their laboratory.
One day. Two days.
Three days.
Six days.
Eight days.
Their colleagues had tried banging on the door, shouting at them to come out, to go home, they would not answer. They called for the doctor’s friends, to no avail. Eventually, it was WingDings Gaster, the royal scientist himself, to be at their door threatening them to “kick their feathery ass if it’s the last thing he does” in order to get them to open the damn door.
No answer.
But the royal scientist was a stubborn man. And when words failed, he proceeded to take the door’s security system apart and barge into the lab, only to be taken aback by the stench. He covered his non-existent nose with a sleeve and bit back the urge to let last night’s dinner see the light of day again, ushering the doctor’s worried coworkers away. It reeked of illness. It reeked of plague. The skeleton, being the only one without lungs and hence immune to all airborne diseases, made his way through the mess of papers, vials and
patches of blood and hair
to the form bent over his friend’s table. Kraz was staring straight at him with their big, beady dark eyes which seemed to be glazed over. They looked even paler than they usually do, which is to say whiter than snow, and seemed so frail that they could snap at any moment. Their face was also swimming in what seemed to be bloodied spit, over a mountain of papers scribbled with words that made no sense. Suffice to say, they looked like death itself. They looked dead.
It was as if Gaster’s bones were made of ice. Barely thinking, he grabbed his friend’s limp body, by Asgore were they TALL, and zapped away somewhere safe. Somewhere clean. His place, apparently.
He cleaned Kraz. Changed them. Laid them in bed. Listened to their delirious babbles, relieved that at least they were alive. In a moment of clarity, the doctor pleaded him to retrieve some instruments from their lab and conduct a series of tests on samples of their blood, which he was urged to collect daily.
“I need to help them Dings. Please. Please, I beg of you, do this for them. Or else I would have done this for nothing. Please.”
Eventually, the unthinkable happened. They got better, the little colour their cheeks normally had returned. As soon as the healer could walk again, they were out of their friend’s house and back in their lab (ignoring everyone’s admonishments). Barely a week later, there was a cure for the seemingly incurable plague.
Monsterkind was saved.
And everything was truly fine. Kraz was promoted to Royal Doctor (a fact they endlessly teased Gaster with, because Now you can’t boss me around anymore mister science man), was granted a whole department in the Hotland labs, and was now revered though the kingdom! Their promotion to head doctor was also accompanied by another, to the exclusive rank of “beloved special stupid idiot who gave themselves the plague” in the soul of a certain someone. They weren’t going to live that one down anytime soon. But well, when the royal scientist’s coworkers noticed that his lunch was packed daily in the common room fridge with “Do not forget nourishment today dear, I will see you tonight at our usual, -A stupid idiot “stuck to it, let’s say that the air in the Core labs was decidedly more pleasant. And Alphys, a young intern that the Doctor befriended during one of their numerous visits to their collaborator-friend-lover(?),  could barely contain her gushing to anyone that might listen.
Yes. Times were good.
Until a human fell.
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plasterhound · 3 months ago
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sketchehm · 7 days ago
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Thinking about how Minecraft NPCs are technically immortal (though not invincible) so Milo and Naomi would still be alive post time skip.. after all this time they love Sapnap so bad and they were like the only thing Sapnap had from team mafia after their deaths. team mafia teasing Sapnap and being like when you were 5 you legitimately had a phase where you thought you were a pet but Sapnap’s forgot since then and it’s :( because he was young so he remembered how he felt but not very much the details? and that feeds into the disconnect that he feels with them. Oh I made this sad
I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS
FUCK.
Once baby sapnap realizes he can't go back to the base anymore, it's him bothering every nutria he can find to take him back. And they all refuse. And he doesn't know why!!! 'It's too dangerous', but it's never dangerous there! (His dads made sure it was never dangerous)
And he's causing tantrums and crying that he needs to go! It's important!!! It won't be until sylvee gets through to him and asks what does he need from there? And he's bawling, barely managing to get out "g-ga-gati-tos..." Oh!
It's nutria 23 with his helicopter and peele accompanying, the two trying to wrangle two Very skittish cats into the very loud helicopter (it was NOT easy), peele looking around the base and feeling. Sad. They know they shouldn't be feeling such things as a robot but. They can't help it. But there's a mission to be completed now!
And the baby is in his new (empty, cold) room in the mountain. Sniffling. He wants milo and naiomi....Shadouni said to take good care and he hasn't...he's been a bad older brother to them :(
It's not until he hears Juan screaming and Peele also yelling, the baby sliding off his bed, poking his head out of his room and seeing two cats chase a running Juan, screaming to get the cats to stop!! He's not food!!! Don't kill him PLEASE!!!
Sapnap! Is so happy!! He's running out his room and scooping up the cats(juan: ay madre mia por fin), one in each arm, so so happy!!! (The cats are struggling to get out of his 7yr old grip lmao)
It's. All he really has left of them. As years go past and he's growing up, all he can recall is Shadoune telling him to take care of them. He can't even remember the exact memory anymore, he just knows it was Shadoune who told him. And when Eon says he should server hop to explore and get out of this forsaken world for a little bit (go grow and learn, we'll still be here), he trusts Eon and the nutrias to take of them for a while!
And once he's grown. And his dads are back. Seeing Shadounes face when he's reunited with the cats. He laughs a bit saying he's suprised Sapnap hadn't managed to kill them by accident (hey!!).
It leads to the guys reminiscing, laughing about old memories. Telling sapnap about how he thought he was a pet. How shadoune had to convince him he's their older brother so he'd take care of them and to stop throwing them out of the base. The rest of the guys laughing and bringing up moments when baby sapnap himself would answer he was their pet. It's a fun time!
For them.
Because Sapnap. Can't recall any of it. He's having. A sudden realization, he can't recall much of when they were all together. It's. Scary. He laughs along though, more out of shock he did those kinds of things and a "I can't believe you guys let that happen haha" kind of way.
And when the guys keep bringing up old memories, find Sapnap's old baby armor. Sapnap will be looking at them like he's never seen them before. Surely he'd remember something like that. It's the guys making inside jokes about Sapnap that he should know, he should. And he won't laugh, confused.
And the others, will look at each other, also confused. They'll bring up his apple slices or the way he used to beg for deditas. Nothing.
And Sapnap feels. Distant from them. Like they're talking about a whole other person. The other guys too will notice, that this grown person isn't the baby they know. The baby in their minds, they had left to go on a mission that would only last a day. But almost 15 years passed by instead. It's. Too jarring.
But Sapnap keeps trying. Going through old photo albums he has access to now, something he never had before (forbidden from leaving the mountain because of the danger). He's trying to recall he is. He remembers nightmares. Of them leaving. That day of them saying goodbye and never coming back. He remembers crying a lot.
He remembers when he was gifted his stuffed rabbit. And he remembers growing up with the nutrias and being told to server hop and all his memories from after that.
He just can't really remember them. But. He remembers feelings. Of being safe with them. Feelings of admiration for Farfa and feelings of comfort from Serpias and Shadoune. Just Knowing Conter was the one to help him with nightmares the most. Just knowing to give Goncho extra apples when he goes out. Just knowing Spreen was always a little annoyed with him.
He remembers their love for him. But he doesn't know if that is enough for them anymore.
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keeps-ache · 16 days ago
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sigh. i think i just do not like dogs very much lol
#just me hi#don't kill me but they are not for me#and i think our dog is alright :) but i am glad he's not mine jfshvh#i'm nervous and unsure about them every time i interact and i don't know why!#tried to tell my mother that at least and she just kinda brushes me off ? so i guess i'll just have to contend with this lol#he's still being trained but i dunno. don't think that kind of animal is for me#which sucks cuz i really did want to like them!! but they're confusing and a bit annoying and a decent sprinkling of scary#and he's a PUPPY. this is the goofiest problem ever jfsvhjfh#+ the dog at work still makes me nervous too.. this is a very Blahhh situation lol#'you've just gotta learn to stop being scared of them' but that Does mean that i have to interact with them more. and it seems#every time i do i just get more nervous ?? urgh#guess i'm not for dogs ! oh wells!#//and in other news why is it that every weekend i do not hesitate to obliterate my sleep schedule Lmfshvjfh#like without Fail it's actually crazy#//OH and it snowed a couple days ago too btw !! like almost a foot of snow i believe which is cool :D#i walked to work and it was fuuuun i enjoyed it :D#though i didn't get a chance to take pictures bc they'd plowed the road by the time i got out </3 it was so cool though !!#//oh also we were playing one of our story games last night w/ siblings :3#it's our longest-running one (it's been ongoing for maybe over a year or so! wild) and the amount of stuff that has Happened is so much Lol#i think last night they helped free half-a-town's worth of people from mine work (the mine turned out to be a crater from a Wish that hadn'#come true so they were mining the tiny shards of the wish-star bc they still have the chance to grant veeery small wishes!) and then also#got the guy that had kidnapped and enslaved them (for ransom + tax reasons) killed “by accident”#/they got into even more arguments with the other characters they're traveling with-#/OH chess also almost strangled one of those guys to death in the mine Lmaooo#there was a whole moment when he realized i was dying jfsvjgh#//yea though i have got to go get some thangs done though..#my dad used all the hot water so i'm just. waiting... stewing.... sauteeing...... gently marinating.............#ooeeoo#yea though !! hope i can work on some ideas i have today !! let's cross hands and hold fingers. wait#anywho Yea i'm gonna get on that đŸ’„ CIAO
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