#like a lot of things are just logic so i dont have a problem doing them

[kittychicha]

the problem of being hired to be an accountant and not actually being an accountant is that sometimes....there are things....that an accountant should know how to do that i have no idea about. now my question is why didn't they hire an actual accountant if they had this big of a mess on their accounts :)

[july-19th-club]

one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern

[yongseungkim]

.

[malwaredykes]

well. here she is. miss Leigh Stasik.

trans woman. stubborn, incorrigible, eccentric. communist; she has leftist in-fighting with herself on the regular. a cannibal; she has no moral qualms about this, and its both a bit of a spiritual thing and a bit of a pragmatic thing. medic (not a doctor. no medical license). she knows for sure she had some kind of significant personality change from being shot in the head, but she doesn't remember what she was like exactly before it happened, it all became this kind of distant memory soup. shes originally from west new cali, but she grew very attached to the mojave. and has a lot of contempt for the ncr. She Will Serve Crack Before She Serves This Country. thank god the army discriminates against transsexuals etc. zero tolerance for the legion, obviously.

she firmly believes she is not nice, or kind, or compassionate, but instead her actions and her general sense of justice stem from her simply doing whats the most logical and objectively beneficial. it may be true to some extent, but she might also have a wee bit of ocd of the "i am a horrible person whos at all times like 2 seconds away from committing atrocities" variety.

shes a SCIENTIST. unofficially. she doesnt have a degree nor a chosen field of study. she makes her own hrt and other mysterious concoctions, including designer chems. which she claims she ingests injects etc not for recreational purposes, but to Enhance Her Powers And Possibilities. she reads old world books about psychology so she can manipulate people better. and makes weird contraptions and doohickeys while high. shes a HACKER of course and hacks terminals and systems for fun and just to see if she can.

her stats are out there due to implants and intense training, originally they were rather average. in-game she wears combat armor mk 2, but i see her having spruced it up like this. her main weapon is the ycs/186, the unique gauss rifle, but before that she used a modded plasma pistol. which she very much enjoyed the silly appearance of. because it was so small and with so much shit tacked on and she could just hold it in one hand like a mutated revolver like Hands up motherfucker bang bang bang lol. her melee weapon of choice is the machete gladius, but she's been training to be able to wield a thermic lance.

in my head the trajectory of her actions and the fate of the mojave that follows is different from what you can do with the game, because leigh could only go for The Secret Leftist Route Which Was Supposed To Be In The Game But We Were Robbed Of It.

boone was the first friend she made after leaving goodsprings and their relationship is particularly notable. they are Comrades, Siblings-In-Arms, Worsties (like besties but fucked up). theyve seen each other at their worst. they annoy each other on purpose. theyve had serious ideological clashes with each other and some ways in which boone perceives the world drive leigh absolutely nuts. they're ride or die for each other. theyre the kind of comfortable around each other where she'll be on the toilet and smoking a cig with the door open and talking to him, while he's naked sitting on the floor removing stitches from his leg. she's done surgery without anesthesia on him. he's projectile vomited blood on her from being poisoned by cazadores. she strongly encourages him to become a traitor to the ncr and to take part in the revolution and the formation of the new independent mojave alliance. somehow, it works on him in the end. shamefully they kinda like snuggling... boone bro come to bed man its nighty night man its beddy bye time.

shes in love with lily bowen. i havent decided yet whether she actually makes a move. but she thinks lily is sooooo dreamy. and shes right. if you dont think the enormous 203 year old blue mutant woman is dreamy thats your problem. outta her way

[mono-dot-jpeg]

born from another timeline - jayce, viktor

summary; "viktor, wake up, hexcore just dropped a hot person" - jayce, probably

genre/extra tags; oneshot, fluff, comedy, maybe some angst, is this considered isekai /j, amnesia?, zauntie! reader, different timeline! reader, the almost too good to be to be true timeline, hexcore knows everything, magic curses, can be seen as romantic or platonic, half baked ending, im sorry this can seen as ambiguous ending

word count; 1.3k

a/n; it's time for some silly silly writing. im changing up some of the request to be a little more interesting. im not great at interpreting long requests like this bc they can be a lot for me, and sometimes, with requesting in excitement, they can have some parts that dont make sense. but i still hope it's enjoyable. also i have no idea if my addition to this request made sense but i was too committed so. enjoy :)

you don't remember a fucking thing. all you know is that something called a hexcore spit you out, and now you're floating in the air with two really hot people. and you're undoubtedly panicking, and they're panicking too.

generally, a lot of panic.

when you finally manage to stop floating, the situation settles a little bit. at least for the two men that were floating with you.

"how did you get here?" but unfortunately, you had to be questioned. which was reasonable, you would probably do the same.

a yordle creature is trying to question you and your origins, but your mind can't seem to conjure up anything that would be a viable answer. "i.. don't know. but where exactly am i?"

the yordle, heimerdinger, informs you that you are in piltover and introduce you to viktor and jayce as well.

"piltover.. i definitely didn't know that this was piltover because i've never been around there."

"do you remember anything about your home?"

"not much. but i'm from the undercity." you answer. and that leaves the young scientists to ponder why exactly the hexcore brought you here. was it really that powerful to just teleport people from the undercity to piltover?

nothing seemed to be clicking. and so, they decide to escort you back to the dark lanes of the undercity.

but when you reach the bridge, viktor can spot the shine of confusion in your eyes.

"wait.. this is the undercity, right?" you looked over at the glum streets. "but.."

"but what? it always has been like this."

"this isn't.." you head pulses with pain as a memory tries to break through. "the undercity wasn't like this. it was-" before you can even speak about your home, it feels like you have the wind knocked out of you. your breath heaving as you cough near uncontrollably. jayce and viktor are quick to offer a hand to help you. jayce holds you steady, and viktor offers a hesitant but gentle hand. "it wasn't like this.." you can only mutter as another cough tickles your throat, threatening to come out. it doesn't take long for the two men to come up with a different thought instead.

"i don't think you're from our world." viktor said slowly.

"but i'm from runeterra, i live in zaun, i know that much." you get a little defensive. "and i know that, this isn't the zaun i live in."

"i think it's much more different than what v is saying. let's just head back."

viktor should've realized sooner as a zaunite himself. you didn't wear any worn-out dirtied clothing or had that scent of undercity smoke and gasoline that always permeated around the lanes. you were different from the undercity he knew.

with enough convincing to heimerdinger, he agrees to let you stay in piltover, but viktor and jayce would have to be responsible for you. which admittedly feels a little offending as you're not any kind of irresponsible pet or kid, but you wave off the annoyance for a more pressing problem.

"i'm from a different timeline?"

"it sounds crazy, i know." jayce immediately tells you, just seeing the incredulous look on your face. "but it seems like the most logical conclusion. you said you were from runeterra, you were from the undercity, and that the undercity you know doesn't look the way our undercity does."

"it could be entirely possible that you can even be from a different universe in general, ehh... i suppose that would be like a timeline, too." viktor sucked in a breath through his slightly clenched teeth as he tried to wonder over the details of what counted as a universe or timeline.

"the point is, this isn't the runeterra you know. and we don't know how to get you back."

and so you basically had a reset button on your life, now living in a world that was close to yours.. but not quite.

heimerdinger had concluded that there was some sort of magic binding on your memories, not allowing you to speak too much detail of them. and there seemed to be no loopholes for it. you would be stuck like that for an unknown amount of time.

that was concerning, to say the least. but not as concerning as trying to remember that this isn't the world you know. you're not meant to be here. but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't curious about how this world functioned compared to yours.

you were naturally really interested in the hextech. and it seemed like the hexcore was interested in you, it spit you out into here after all.

"do you think the hexcore is the reason i can't talk about my home?" you asked the two scientists as you stared at the core of magic and science.

"it would make sense. in a way. it's the only magic you've been exposed to. and directly in contact with.. obviously." viktor said with matter of fact tone.

it seemed like it was the only somewhat reasonable answer. and there was only one solution to you; live this new life. you don't remember everything that happened in your old life, and even if you did, you'd be coughing up your lungs before you can get a word out about it.

alternate reality and timelines really aren't fun, you realize quickly. you live in this.. new piltover and zaun and it's.. really off-putting. like knowing that everything is fine, but your mind is telling you that there's something just so wrong.

your identity blends in just enough with the support of viktor and jayce. but you don't feel right. viktor easily can sense that feeling of isolation. he understands it too well. it's the face he's seen on multiple zaunites like himself. when they don't know if they really belong in this world.

he tugs you away into his side of the lab as the gentle whirring of the hexcore hums with life, mocking you that you have no way home. jayce had left to pick up some dinner for you three, and you stayed behind for the sole reason of not having anything better to do (and maybe even keep viktor company).

the look in his sharp amber eyes is hesitant before he speaks. "how are you feeling?" he asked within the ambiance of the lab. he doesn't look at you, turning to mindlessly fiddle with his work-in-progress hex claw.

you shrugged halfheartedly with a hum, "i don't know. it just..." you let out a sigh. "it doesn't feel right."

"what doesn't?"

"being here." he lets you continue if you want, stopping his tinkering to look at you. your eyebrows furrow with a frown on your lips. "i don't know. maybe i'm just being delusional."

he pursues his lips, trying to find the right words to say. "i'm sorry we can't find a way back to your home." he said softly. "i can't imagine how it feels like to live in a world so similar but so different from home." he takes your wrist gently to guide you to an empty chair next to him.

you sit down slowly. he looks at your disheartened face.

"i'm not great at comfort like this. jayce would probably do much better than me right now. he gives a great hug." he laughed weakly, trying to lighten the mood. "but i'm not going to sit back and let you be alone on the pain." his eyes swirl with warmth. you can tell he's trying his best to comfort you.

"do you think.. we would ever meet back in my timeline?"

before viktor could answer, the door opens, revealing the golden boy himself.

"i got us some dinner!" his smile oblivious and bright, unware of the heavy air as his presence seems more bright than the setting sun.

you don't feel like you belong in plitover, but you know you belong with viktor and jayce at least.

[preposterousjams]

My opinion on the Latino Jason Todd headcanon

While I do understand ppl's criticism of the latino Jason todd headcanon and how its kind of racist to make the kid with parents with drug problems as the latino one, to me its more of a reclamation BECAUSE of DC's racism.

Read any 80s/90s batman issue that covers gang violence and drugs, most if not ALL of the criminals are poc; black people and latinos visibly make up the majority in the poorer neighbourhoods in Gotham. Aside from the caricaturist way they r drawn/speak, its not THAT weird cause its a reflection of irl big cities where immigrants and marginalised ppl are often forced to live in such situations, (like most of my dominican family lives in the bronx... it aint racist to say dominicans tend to flock there), BUT...the weird part is when the second a sympathetic character comes from that area, he's white and has a name thats "too fancy for the streets".

Obviously, Jason was created to look like the old robin, so I can't say that the whole "diamond in the rough" situation was purposely a tad bit racist, but its still a lil weird (especially with bruce's comment).

If Jason were a part of the overwhelming demographic in his area, the good-kid-in-a-bad-area trope has less connotations. DC is currently trying to fix this trope is by making crime alley whiter, which isn't bad but they could've just yk... humanised the non-white residents.

I also feel like the messed up way Jason was treated post-death is what makes him so relatable to latino readers. His tragic story of dying while trying to save his only living relative is turned into a lesson for newer vigilantes. Jason's particular disdain for abusers on a few occasions was twisted (by both writers and characters) into him always being dumb, reckless, cocky, angry and disobedient, always violent, never having been able to get over his upbringing. None of those things were true (he was a normal level of reckless and cocky like every other robin, not more), but its an easier narrative to digest compared to how it was in reality; a kid who worked so hard and loved even harder, died to save a woman who couldn't care less about his existence. He was an emotional AND smart kid who wanted so bad to help others get better but was remembered as too emotional (in a bad way).

THIS is the reality for many latino diasporas in day to day life; Theres no question that Latino culture is passionate and emotive, but people from other cultures assume that it is followed by instead of logical. both can coexist. emotion does not mean u have no logic. Emotions can be irrational but they aren't inherently that way, and I wouldn't say that the moments where Jason lashed out as a teenager were irrational (in og runs, not rewrites post red hood), they were mostly done to protect someone (going crazy on abusers, disobeying batman to save sheila, that time he got into a fight at school to defend his friend).

A lot of euro-centric culture is OBSESSED with the idea that rationality is separate from feelings and emotions, but not crying at a funeral doesn't mean you're better than those who do. Emotions are the basis of human ethics and morals, they define the way we interact as a collective and ignoring them does not mean they are not there. Theres no winner to a contest of who can feel the less. And the way Jason's emotions are treated (pre-rh, hes definitely unhinged afterwards lol) is so in line with how white culture tends to punish those who aren't ashamed to feel.

I TOTES UNDERSTAND that some ppl who headcanon Jason as latino are doing it for the complete opposite of reasons, like "oh here some angry emotional guy with druggie parents, haha must be latino". Its weird. I dont like it. And its only brought up so he can swear in spanish in some rlly bad text post where his emotions are getting out. But to me there's so much potential for metanarrative and commentary on how latinos are treated in media that can be exemplified through the way his character is treated. Being latino would add SO MUCH DEPTH to his character and his dynamic with the others.

[biggie-chcese]

Blank Week Headcanon Time!!

(extremely big rain code spoilers lol)

so the thing about the blank week is that i think it's a really compelling twist and it's genuinely interesting to think about. but also, one problem is that thinking about it too much raises a lot of questions.

like, how were there no survivors? did no one in kanai ward fight back? how did it take only a week for amaterasu to make homunculi of everyone in the city, for those same homunculi to break out and wipe out everyone, and for makoto to clean it up and make the rain machine? what about nighttime, or whenever people were indoors? wouldn't the homunculi have calmed down?

so i came up with a few headcanons that answer these questions bc it's fun to come up with watsonian answers to doyalist problems! yippee!

So:

How'd all this research happen within a week? i dont think it actually did happen in a week. amaterasu probably already had the massive amount of homunculus birthing pods in place before extracting blood from everyone in kanai ward. i mean, homunculus research started 10 years ago, and the first successful one was made by the UG 3 years ago. this means they likely already had all of their equipment, but they were missing something to create successful specimens.

Why did the scientists just birth all the homunculi at once in the sun? Are they stupid? the homunculi they were creating were simply dying in the sunlight instead of going full on sicko mode. under the assumption sunlight just kills defects, the best way to test it when you're in a rush is to just awaken them all into the sunlight at once! perhaps the researchers assumed all the defects would do the same, leaving behind any successful specimens who would just... act like normal people. under this assumption, the research team wouldn't be in any danger. of course, making assumptions rarely ends well.

Why did the zombified homunculi instantly become aggressive in the sun, but Kurumi just passed out? while not explicitly canon, i think... defective homunculus bodies have a few stages they undergo when reacting to sunlight. the first stage is a loss of consciousness, like we see with kurumi. if their consciousness is already compromised (i.e. having little to no brain capacity), such as with zombified homunculi, this stage is skipped. the next stage is pure aggression and bloodlust, as seen with what happened during the blank week. the stage after extremely prolonged exposure is, of course, death. my headcanon is that it takes about a month of natural sunlight exposure to kill a defective homunculus, but direct UV light exposure such as a tanning bed would accelerate the process, sadly.

How did everyone in the city get wiped out within just a week? remember the huge shutter that apparently the hoard of homunculi just... tore right through in order to escape the lab? my headcanon is that, in their sunlight-berserk state, homunculi gain super strength and speed, pushing their bodies past the limit. this can cause strain on them that backfires when they regain consciousness, but feeding on human flesh heals this problem quickly, since it encourages their artificial regeneration. thanks to these superhuman abilities, most humans struggled to fight back. still, some homunculi did perish from humans defending themselves over the week, and those were among the first homunculi to be dumped off in the restricted area when makoto came to clean the place up. they were then considered "missing," just like kurumi's grandpa.

What about nighttime during the Blank Week? What about people who were indoors? the doyalist part of me wants to say the writers never even considered that, but the watsonian explanation is still based on real world logic: the moon does not produce its own unique light. it reflects the light of the sun. bc of that, kanai ward was certainly no safer at night as long as the moon was out. i also believe it takes a while for homunculi to calm down when under cover, such as when they're indoors with no direct sunlight. this is so their bodies can get the UV poisoning out of their system first. maybe it takes a few hours, so people who thought they were safe indoors ended up still getting mauled. eventually, being under cover from sunlight will knock a feral homunculus unconscious (since after the blank week, everyone is described by kurumi as "waking up to it being a week later"). and again, if they are already zombified, this step is skipped in favor of them just calming down like the ones in the restricted area.

How did Makoto just... clean up all that and build the rain machine in a week? well, we are in a futuristic cyberpunk type game. when makoto arrived, he probably just had machines work on the mass cleanup job for him while he was busy building his rain machine. though, homunculi devour basically everything, so corpse cleanup likely wasn't wasn't too difficult. hell, a lot of the blood outside can be washed away from the rain. also, kurumi does describe kanai ward as looking like a tornado ran through it when she woke up, so the clean up was likely not as thorough as we think. what's the problem with seeing a little blood amidst some rubble? it only adds to the mystery of it all. as for how makoto built the machine so quickly... he's the world's greatest mind so he can do what he wants <3

No survivors? At all? Seriously? Not a single human lived through the Blank Week? i actually think some humans did survive the blank week. but, i don't believe any of them made it out of the situation alive. doesn't make sense? well, let me lay out a scenario for you: it's been almost a week since the feral homunculi have been rampaging throughout the city. a small group of survivors quietly huddle together inside a building. they've run out of food and water, and now they're just counting down the hours before their inevitable demise. but then! the sounds of pouring rain begin, and after some time, the guy on lookout witnesses all of the homunculi simultaneously passing out on the streets. soon after, UG brand rescue vehicles and machines come rolling into the city. the group rejoices. they're saved! they're taken into a special UG facility that houses all of the survivors. they think they'll finally be free from this hell they endured. a UG agent comes into the shelter to invite small groups into another room. they're told that they'll have to fill out some paperwork. these survivors have no reason to distrust them, so they follow these orders. and one by one, each and every group is quietly executed, forever silenced for what they know. it's a real shame, but makoto tells himself it's important for the homunculi to survive. he has to eliminate any and all chances for kanai ward's secrets to become public. the UG would not have cooperated otherwise... As a bonus, here's some other headcanons I have about the deaths that happened during the blank week:

my headcanon for a lot of homunculi is that they instinctively tried to reach places familiar to them whilst in their berserk state- their work, their homes, their schools, etc., all following a routine that's pretty well ingrained into them. this led to a lot of poetic and ironic deaths, and many people getting killed by their own homunculi or by the homunculi of people they know and love. just to add to the angst of it all 😊 with that in mind...

kurumi was the one to kill and eat her grandpa, following the path she usually takes walking home. i dont know if homunculus kurumi ever figures this out in the future and is devastated, or if she spends years trying to search for a missing family member who she'd already unknowingly killed. i dont know which one is sadder.

martina, among several other peacekeepers, died thanks to yomi shoving them into hoards of hungry homunculi to save his own ass. yomi eventually died while trying to escape to the sewers, ironically devoured by yakou's homunculus

dominic was one of the biggest defenders on the human front, the only person with the raw strength to fend off against large hoards. however, dominic's homculus had the highest kill count for the exact same reasons, so they ended up fighting each other, and homunculus dominic prevailed. this basically marked the moment of lost hope amongst the last humans in kanai ward

(on this note, ive got an oddly cute but still fucked up headcanon that, because dominic was such a successful hunter, he would share his "food" with lots of smaller homunculi, including guillaume)

this isnt my headcanon (it's loremaster's) but im really attached to the idea that yakou died while trying to protect kurumi. it just feels right. before the blank week, he'd already failed to protect his wife, so to him the best way to go out was to die trying to save someone else... though, unfortunately, kurumi did not survive long after him

icardi's homunculus hunted in a very unique way. he'd swim along the kamasaki riverbank, dragging unsuspecting victims underwater to kill and eat them. servan died in this way, running towards the river to escape other homunculi, only to find himself cornered when he reached the water. icardi then took hold of him while he was still paralyzed with fear, sealing his fate

iruka managed to defend herself with her guns, but couldn't bring herself to shoot shachi's homunculus, leading to her death

the ch 1 church crew perished at the hands of their own homunculi, but the priest himself was devored upon the altar. for the raw imagery of it all. do you see the vision.

aaaand that's all my silly little thoughts about the blank week! it's such an insane plot twist and honestly i would love to see more fans talking abt it because it feels like such prime material for angst...

[transmutationisms]

Feel free not to answer this ask so you dont have to step into this particular hornet's nest but do you have any thoughts about people sharing inaccurate science about COVID in order to push for more COVID regulations? I agree that COVID is being neglected and we need better policies but I'm also a biochemist so it pisses me off to see people cite research in a way that makes exaggerated and terrifying claims. Two years ago, I was warning my colleagues against this condescending "just trust the science" approach but now the same crowd pushing that has shifted to pushing "don't trust any of the positive science, only my catastrophic interpretations of it". Can't we mask without also trying to convince each other that COVID is a guaranteed one way ticket to death and permanent disability?

you must be new here haha i swing bats at this hornet's nest like once a month. yeah i think the current state of covid communication sucks a lot. i mean the truth is that "follow the science" is always a disingenuous sentiment; Science doesn't speak, and scientists disagree with one another. and it's naïve to pretend majority consensus is a reliable mechanism to identify truth—anyone who has followed the covid aerosolisation about-face will recall that although linsey marr was not the first researcher to challenge medical orthodoxy on airborne disease transmission, even well into the covid pandemic the idea of aerosol transmission was marginalised by global health authorities because it was politically inconvenient, out of favour with powerful established academics, and reminiscent to some of pre-pasteurian miasma theories of disease. those who would "follow the science" were not presented with a convenient dichotomy between reasonable evidence-backed expert consensus and fringe peddlers of heterodoxy; to evaluate these positions required actually, yknow, reading and evaluating the arguments and evidence from multiple competing positions, and deciding which had the greater explanatory power. which is good epistemological advice only insofar as it's so obvious as to be trite.

fundamentally a huge driving force of this situation is the social, political, and institutional forces that make expert knowledge (a generally good thing) all too often synonymous with inaccessible knowledge. i don't mean inaccessibility caused by knowledge being specialised; obviously this is inevitable to some extent simply as a result of the fact that no one person will grasp the entirety of human knowledge. but the fact that knowledge is specialised, specific, highly technical, and so forth doesn't automatically mean, for example, that it has to be monetarily gatekept from all but a select few with the resources to persevere through a highly punishing, nepotistic, hegemonic university system; this is a political problem, and one that additionally has the effect of enabling and sheltering low-quality work (see: replication crisis) behind the opaque walls of university bureaucracy and the imprimateur of the credentials it grants. in lieu of an ability to actually engage with, read, or challenge much of the academic research being generated on any given topic, the lay public is supposed to rely on signs of reliability like possession of a degree, or institutional reputation. what we in fact see again and again, and with particularly high stakes in the case of something like a pandemic, is that these measures are instruments of class stratification and professional jockeying that don't inherently ensure quality information: MDs can and do peddle anti-vaxx lies and covid / long-covid denialism; the CDC and WHO can and do perpetrate bad and outdated scientific advice, like that masks are unnecessary and isolation periods can be shortened for convenience. many of these are just blatant cases of kowtowing to political pressure, which arises from the capitalist logic that counterposes disease prevention to economic growth.

this all leaves us in a position where it is, in fact, smart and correct to evaluate the information coming from 'official' and credentialled sources with scepticism. the problem is that in its place, we get information coming out of the same capitalist state-sponsored scientific institutions, and the same colonialist universities; the idea that some chucklefuck on twitter is telling you the secret truth just because they correctly identified that the government sucks is plainly absurd. where covid specifically is concerned, the liberalism of academic and scientific institutions is on display in numerous ways, including the idealist assumption, which many 'covid communicators' make, that public health policy is primarily a matter of swaying public opinion, and therefore that it is always morally imperative to form and propagate the most alarmist possible interpretation of any study or empirical observation. this is not an attitude that encourages thoughtful or measured evaluation of The Science (eg, study methodology), nor is it one that actually produces the kind of political change that would be required to protect the populace writ large from what is, indeed, a dangerous and still rampant virus. instead, this form of communication mostly winds up generating social media Engagement and screenshots of headlines of summaries of studies.

meanwhile, actual public health policy (which is by and large determined at the mercy of capitalist state interests, and which by and large shapes public opinion of what mitigation measures are 'reasonable', despite the CDC repeatedly pretending this works the other way round), remains on its trajectory toward lax, open exposure of anyone and everyone to each new strain of covid, perpetuating a society that is profoundly hostile to disabled people and careless with everyone's life and health. this fucking sucks. it sucked that we have treated the flu like this for years, and it sucks that we are now doing it with a virus that we are still relatively immunologically naïve to, and that produces, statistically, even more death and disability than the flu. and it sucks that the predominating explanations of this state of affairs from the 'cautious' emphasise not the structural forces that shape knowledge production under capitalism, but instead invoke a psychological narrative whereby individuals simply need to be sufficiently terrified into producing mass action.

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ask game here!!! ^^^ (I’m on IPad so it looks like this unfortunately 😭)

(Oh gosh three asks asking me about the same character (I’ll just put them together and answer it as a singular post!))

(Also this turned out way longer than I’ve expected so I’m gonna put a cut here!! To save scrolling time!!)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how open Smitten is with his emotions!!! He feels so so much with his whole heart and I really love how he’s not afraid to share them! He is a really honest and earnest character and I don’t really see him lying in any way (and if he does, he’d probably do a really terrible job at it because of how he wears his heart on his sleeve andnsjsm). I can’t help but feel that his earnestness is something worth admiring!

Oh! And of course of how gentle he can be! Despite his bravado he really knows how to lift someone up with his soft words. He can see how someone is hurting and would attempt to lift them up by reminding them that they are loved and is worth loving. I especially love him in Thorn because of this reason. He’s really just love personified (even if it’s towards his own deterrent (don’t do that Smitten))

Also also! I love the way he speaks! He’s so dramatic with his speech patterns that it gives me the giddiest feeling whenever I hear him speak. His princely flair got me alright… he’s so cute,,,.,,…

AND!!! How he subverts the expectations of how love is a purely good thing!!! Love can hurt really really bad as well as heal!! Both the giver and the receiver!!!! And how he is a representation of using fantasy as a coping mechanism!!! He has a lot!!! Of stuff!!!!

(Ik it said “favourite thing about them (singular)” but I can’t help but give him appreciation by yapping)

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

(I do have some things to say about that despite you occupying 90% of my brain space Smitten </3 it’s out of love tho I promy…)

To mirror what I’ve said at the beginning, it’s of how self-sacrificing he is. My guy has zero self-preservation and self-love despite being the personification of love and emotion. He would literally die for the one he loves and like,,,, NO!!!! SMITTY!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!! FOR THEM!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR DEVOTION!!!!! DONT DO IT!!!! SHAKING YOU ON THE SHOULDERS /AFF

FAVORITE LINE

He has a lot of great lines tbh sbsnsjs

A lot of them are really good, but I just, can’t remember a lot of them, so I’ll just put down those that I actually remember

“My wrath will echo the depths of my bereavement.”

“If we just showed her the contents of our heart... She'd be happy here." ABSOLUTE CHILLS

“YOU SMARMY ASS”

"By cruelly turning on the Princess on her moment of vulnerability we made ourselves an enemy. But, by mastering our fear and insecurity and handing over our power, we've begun a journey to something so much deeper"

BROtp

Smitten and Skeptic! As well as Smitten and Stubborn!!

The Heart and The Head!! The Grey Brothers have a special place in my heart… They’re like the two people who’s really different from each other but enjoys each other’s company regardless of that difference. They balance each other out rather nicely despite them never meeting each other officially in game: like, Skeptic could teach Smitten to think before he act on his own emotions and be more sceptical of the intentions of other people, while Smitten could encourage Skeptic to feel with his heart! I see Skeptic as the type of person to have a hard time empathising with other people and would rely heavily on his logic to help solve the problem for them instead of simply listening to them (he cares, just doesn’t know how to do it in a way that’s unfamiliar to him/not his nature), so I think having Smitten be there to teach him how to do that would help him greatly. They would probably understand each other in the ending where TLQ kills Shifty’s heart and becomes a god himself, since Skeptic knows what’s it like to not have a grounding presence to catch him (for Smitten it’s the Princess). Him and Cheated would comfort Smitten during those times.

And here’s Beauty and Brawn! Aside from their shared appreciation for the Princess, they are also both really passionate characters who are extremely open with their emotions. Smitten would appreciate Stubborn’s showcase of passion towards the Princess, while Stubborn would see strength and potential in Smitten as an opponent! Stubborn would probably rather head straight ahead towards violence instead of using words like Smitten does, but he likes the guy so what the hell

Stubborn would try to get Smitten to fight him, but Smitten just, doesn’t fight him simply because being violent is really not in his nature (unless Stubborn intentionally gloats him into fighting him)

They would be the duo that hugs and cries together whenever there’s a touching scene playing in a movie

OTP

You already know,,..,,,, (it’s Burned Bridges)

Funnily enough the infamous Burned Grey lines aren’t the reason why I ship them in the first place

It’s the fact that I remembered a line Cold had said about Smitten would one day want the emotions to go away completely despite how strongly those emotions burn at the current moment , and then telling him to trust him on it.

It just. Reveals so much about Cold as a character.

Not only does it imply that Cold isn’t completely emotionless as he oh so often tells us that he is, and that he had felt strong emotions at one point but had chosen to repress them completely due to how much it had hurt him, but it also reveals that he doesn’t seem to hold the same animosity towards Smitten as the other way around (at least, not the level of hatred Smitten holds for him),as he actually gave him advice on the subject matter. He seems to be more amused by Smitten then anything. Burned Grey is a route where Smitten was denied of his purpose with us deciding to kill the Princess, and Cold’s whole thing is about his purpose being denied, and hence the numbing ache in his heart that he desperately wants to fill. So I feel like he would probably understand Smitten in that regard of having his purpose denied. He just, find Smitten’s anger really freaking amusing due to the fact that Smitten is usually really chipper. And also the fact that Anger is the rawest emotion there is.

They would definitely start on rough terms though. With Smitten actually fulfilling his promise on letting Cold feel what he had felt (via hurting Cold) and Cold just becoming more and more interested in how far Smitten would go in his pursuit of vengeance. How far would he go? How low would he stoop? He would love to know, and so he would gloat him more and more and see how he would react.

But knowing Smitten, he would probably get really tired of hurting Cold over and over again. He is. Just not a violent person at heart. His starring chapter two is literally one of the three routes that doesn’t have a chapter one that ends with violence(it technically does but you know what I mean(Damsel, Prisoner, Stranger)). Eventually it would reach a point where he would just tiredly tell Cold off without it ending with violence, and that would make Cold feel surprised about the change in his usual pattern of behaviour. I’d like to think that Cold would be the person to reach Smitten out to soothe him on his hollowness and aimlessness when Smitten would deny him over and over until he eventually lets Cold do his thing (heavily influenced by @pink-november ‘s fic btw) and Smitten coming to a realisation that Cold might not be as emotionless as he thought… and then the two deciding to start over on their relationship and become friends… and then learning that wait, they’re actually quite similar… and then they unknowingly fall for each other for real the more time they spend with each other…. oughhhhh slowburn Burned Bridges my beloved

“Who needs violence when you have love?”

“Who needs love when you’ve mastered yourself?”

Also also, fire and ice, pink and black, pillow and blanket, “hero” and “villain” (but not really), emotional doofus and stoic fella????? ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOWBURN?????? That’s a lot of stuff!!!! (And the comedic whiplash of “GRRRR I HATE YOU!!!!” to them cuddling together is just. Really funny to me ok.)

Again, this ship can either go down an even more toxic route then it already is (yummy toxic yaoi) or it could become something really fluffy and tender. It really depends on what direction the writer wants the ship to go. I’m fine with either though. Both are really fun routes.

NOtp

I don’t really have a NOtp for him tbh,,..,,,,.

RANDOM HEADCANON

I’ve already said this in another post, but I’d like to imagine Smitten would abuse nicknames and name the voices with the positive qualities he sees in them. Also this is a headcanon for the Voices in general, but I’d like to think that he’d struggle acting away from his nature. Much like the Vessels, the Voice’s nature is all they knew. A part of him would always yearn for the presence of the Princess, since she was literally who he was made to love and dote upon. Even though he would feel genuinely happy that TLQ had found his one true love, a part of him would always feel that emptiness She had left behind, and his heart would ache more and more. Broken in Apotheosis had proven that the Voices can in fact grow their perspective and in turn become more complex, so I feel like Smitten would definitely have his own arc as well once the Voices learn to become their own person and not just a singular facet of TLQ (and especially Oppy and Cold but this ain’t about them).

Smitten would be really affectionate with his show of affection (depends on Voice to Voice though!!!! He wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable). If you ask him which showcase of affection his likes most, he would tell you that he loves all shows of affection equally! Love is love and should be showed proud and loud across your heart! He’s the type of guy to casually give platonic smooches on the cheeks (again, depends on Voice to Voice—if the Voice is uncomfortable with smooches, he’d probably just do a handshake or something). He doesn’t really put a line in love. To him, love is just that—love. There is no need to put a line between platonic, familial and romantic love. As long as the parties are comfortable with how that love is expressed, there is no problem!

Also can we all agree he would write the corniest love songs ever?? Thanks (Cold would be amused by him and listens to Smitten perform despite his comment on the corniness of it all ahahahahah anyway)

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I can agree on Smitten not being a d!ck but saying Smitten is completely harmless and lacks any malicious intent is where I have to disagree. I dunno if this is an unpopular opinion though.

Him wanting to hurt someone in the name of love IS malicious intent despite the motivation. And he has proven that can AND will do what he had said that he would do with him literally killing us after we killed Damsel for seemingly no reason. He is love as much as he is emotional.

Also he seems to care more about how you AND the Princess feels more then his own opinions. He reads as a people pleaser to me. He genuinely just wants you and the Princess to be happy, but then that mixing with his own perception that he is supposed to be the knight in shining armour for the Princess makes for a weird complex.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

We Become We, but specifically that one part of the song with HEA Smitten. I do love me some angst.

(Again sorry about the format!!!!!)

Full song: https://youtu.be/hRllUeany_Q?si=AJHdP-dJUHdf-r30

That one part: https://youtu.be/mwnXg6GXCk8?si=G1hzN_EG93ulKAhN

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

Ohohohohoh I have a couple of those teehee

(I love it when I just draw him like a ball)

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

why i love the edwin-crystal sibling like relationship from memory and why it makes me love crystal even more

there simply isn't enough online about 1. how awesome crystal is as a character and 2. how awesome her and edwin's relationship is. so imma dump all my thoughts here from pure memory.

ep1: so yeah, they start rough. but when jenny points out to crystal that she's so focused on her own problems that she's ignoring everyone else's, just like how she said the boys did, she resolves to change that. she realized she was being unfair because it was pointed out and she decided to try and be better. when edwin breaks down, she's listening. she's listening and understanding. she tells this boy, who has not been the nicest to her but she's beginning to understand, that she gets it. that she sees him, that his unnoticed death matters to her. she sees the sharp, jagged, raw and emotional parts of a boy that she'd only seen as cold and logical thus far. and when his unusually timid voice asks if they can focus on becky's case, she agrees. in the butcher shop, she offers to once again explain the internet to edwin. implying that she'd already done so. and she says it without any condescendence. when she's knocked to the ground, edwin helps her up and they sort of cling to each other as charles is reckless.

ep2: not as much here from what i remember but there's still some stuff. edwin does actually commend her actions in luring the sprites out, followed by telling her not to do it again. from an emotionally repressed boy from a time when fixing each other's clothes was the most intimate thing you could do in public, thats quite a big step.

ep3: one of my personal faves. crystal is quick to point out that edwin is jealous of her and charles. she does actually assure him that nothing would happen and its just a small show of her care for his feelings. now, in the house, do they bicker and argue? yes they do. but i would argue that most of that is fueled by their anxiety and fear for charles. when crystal points out that charles has issues, he ultimately listens. its shown immediately the next ep when he tries to be better and offer himself as a safe space, something he wouldn't have thought to do without crystal's guidance. when they actually work together, its incredible. crystal literally fights her own personal demon to get back to the boys. edwin is trusting her enough to openly admit that he has no idea how a vhs works and trusts her to put in the work to save his person. when she's in danger, he pulls her out because he cares and she's given him reason to. she doesn't question when she comes out from her own head and edwin immediately asks for help, something he almost never does. when she talks about how she's a bad person, edwin immediately tells her that she isn't. he wastes no time in assuring her that she couldn't be anything but the person she is now. she also points out the moment charles' mask goes right back up and offers a lot of insight to edwin. because edwin hasn't really had a friend before charles and charles was already doing this when they met. he had no reason to think that it wasn't a normal thing. but crystal points it out and he notices, he listens and he learns.

ep4: this is another one i dont particularly remember much of these two from. the ep starts with edwin asking if charles wanted to talk about his father, something he never would have done without crystal's guidance. when edwin tells crystal and charles to go off together, she asks him if he's ok, which in the moment, is said in a somewhat joking tone. but once he's gone, she asks charles about it because she's concerned about him and she knows him well enough to know something's wrong. when she's angry that the washer woman didn't give her an answer, he apologizes genuinely because he does want the best for her.

ep5: this ep starts off with a lot of emotional maturity from crystal. she admits that she isn't in the right space to start a relationship and i'll be honest, i hadn't seen that from a show before. made me love her even more. one of my favorite moments of the show is them haunting twitchy ritchy. when he makes deprecating and homophobic 'jokes', crystal is quick to shut him down. and i would argue that she knew edwin was gay, i'd argue for hours. she notices his distress and immediately shuts the dude down, and hard. in return, when ritchy tries to be intimidating, edwin is the first to step in. he extinguishes the flame with a satisfied lil smirk and crystal didn't even have to look over to know that he would step in. and we don't really see it, but i'd bet watching edwin do childish little haunting things probably made her smile. it's a scene i think about all the time. when edwin shoos them away from the summoning and charles questions his choice, crystal sticks up for the decision. its small and unintentional, but there is an aspect where she admits that he's right. something she wouldn't do if she didn't like him and respect him. and when edwin realizes that marin killed the jocks, he's rushing out behind charles. hell it looks like he's pushing him forward to get them downstairs. crystal emphasizes at the end that she sympathizes with the boys, that it was a shitty thing to have in common that they were all victims. yet she offers her sympathy nonetheless. and when edwin says he's had enough emotion for the day, she isn't offended that he wasn't receptive or anything like that. she just smiles, knowing that he really can't handle a lot of emotions and she knows that he doesn't mean anything negative by it. she shows that she understands him and that she doesn't judge who he is.

ep6: when crystal loses her powers, she's scared to tell edwin. she says that she's afraid that he would consider her useless and toss her aside. but that stems from the fact that she really values him as a friend and is scared of being abandoned by the only people she has. and when edwin finds out, he is shocked sure but he's also concerned. he insists that he wouldn't have left her behind and she tells him that he would. its an emotional moment for her and i wouldn't write off that she's just really defensive in the moment. when she sees the boys in trouble, about to be dead-dead, that's when she regains her abilities because she cares about both of the boys and gods be damned if she's gonna let a witch tear them from her. and as the walk back, she leans into charles because she knows edwin doesn't like touch. but he's still right behind her, still nearby and offering silent support. and he goes the step of naming one of their plans after her, plain and simple. she shows her appreciation in the same slightly sarcastic tone they use with each other all the time.

ep7: so many thoughts. the second she finds out that edwin is in hell, she's already resolved to go get him. she has known the boy for a few weeks at most and she cares so much and is so selfless that she doesn't hesitate to volunteer to go to actual fucking hell. when she's told she can't? she tracks down her abusive demon ex who has literally tormented and plagued her mind nonstop. she walks right into his domain and demands he open her a door to hell. literally demands the person who has ruined her life to let her into hell to rescue her friend. when he refuses? she's ready to throw hands and doesn't hesitate to do so. and when the boys come back? yes, she does hug charles and not edwin, but she knows that isn't his thing. but when it cuts back to the teens after the night nurse speaks, you see her arm falling from edwin's. even though he hates hugs and she knows it, she still reached out and held his arm to show how happy she was that he was there, that he was safe. because even though he doesn't hug, she still needed to show him she was happy he was back. she talks about how she fought david and edwin expresses surprise and concern. her retort? 'it was the funniest thing. my friend got dragged to hell and i just had to try and help him.' she doesn't even think about hiding how much she cares and edwin's little smile just confirms how much it means to him.

ep8: when she's recovering her memories, edwin is there. he's watching over her with charles and that just hits something in me. he must have spent so long in the dollhouse exhausted, hoping someone would watch over him so he could be safe and rest. and when crystal is vulnerable, he's doing it. he watches over her as she calls her parents and the second she says that they didn't care, he is insisting that there must be some kind of explanation. every time she wakes up after eating the memory orbs, he rushing to her right beside charles. and i'd bet my bottom dollar he was stressed the whole time she was out. when crystal leaves, edwin does offer her a handshake. she jokes about how he's changed, how he's gotten friendlier, and he jokes back, even throwing in a reference to hell. it's a sweet little interaction and it shows their friendship and familiarity. esther takes the boys and she doesn't hesitate to work a way to get them back. she goes right to the cat king and argues that edwin is her friend and tck should help them because he has personal interest. she charges right into esther's house and already has a plan in place. she spends a minute on charles because she knows edwin's in danger and his screams are fucking unbearable. she offers herself as a distraction so niko can free edwin. when she's pinned against the wall, she scream-pleads for edwin to hold on and it is full of desperation, because she needs her friend to be okay. that scream haunts my mind because she is scared and she knows he is too, and she needs him to hold on and be okay. and when niko 'dies', they are huddled over her body and mourning together. in the end, edwin gives her a professional offer for her to have a permanent place with the agency. and this girl, so naturally full of love and affection, hugs him with a massive smile on her face. because she's been looking for people to belong with and she's found em and they want her around. and she's gonna do anything she can to hold onto them, come hell, demons or high water.

basically, crystal is beyond amazing and her sibling relationship with edwin is my favorite. if you don't like her, argue with the goddamn wall.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I (27m) the asshole for wanting my boyfriend (28m) to be attracted to me?

This involves sex as a topic but won't get explicit, I'll keep it vague. I'm asexual. Completely sex repulsed in a physical sense, mostly due to autistic sensory issues. I've never had any interest in sex and didn't have any libido at all before going on testosterone, so the way most allosexuals tend to view and think of sex is something I've always struggled to understand.

In previous relationships, my asexuality was handled in different ways depending on the person. One boyfriend was totally fine just not having a sexual aspect to our relationship, another one had a hookup he got my approval on. The compromise me and my last boyfriend came up with was that he'd text me his fantasies about me and that did a lot for him without me having to physically be in the situation, and even if I didn't get anything sexual out of it I did enjoy it. It was a confidence boost. I dont generally consider myself attractive or desirable, i wear sweaters in summer because im so self conscious, and this compromise actually did a lot to help me see myself in a different light.

I recently got into a new relationship and, as with every relationship I've been in, there's inevitably a discussion about how we're going to compromise on this issue. My new boyfriend didn't know anything about asexuality and barely understood when I explained but he's very insistent about not crossing my boundaries, which I appreciate. But the problem is, since he'd never considered sexuality from a less direct angle, he didn't really know where to even start with ideas when we were trying to work out a compromise. So, I started making suggestions, thinking back to what worked for other people I'd dated. Just abstaining wasn't going to be doable for him so I didn't suggest it, and he wouldn't be comfortable with a hookup.

I remembered my ex used to be able to get something out of telling me about his fantasies so I asked if that was something he'd be into. I wasn't angling to try to get him to agree to something, I genuinely just wanted to know whether or not that was an option to consider. He didn't actually answer at first, he went quiet and then he answered the question with another question and asked "wouldn't something like that make you uncomfortable?" And I said "no, because the physical component is the thing I have issues with, not the subject matter itself. So long as I don't have to directly engage in the situation, I'm golden."

I don't know if this is something that was really stupid of me to say and my autistic ass just didn't realize, but since he's so careful about my boundaries and comfort and tends to fret, I thought his problem in the moment was worry that I'd be making myself uncomfortable in an attempt to meet his needs. So I hurried to reassure him and said not only would it not make me uncomfortable, I'd enjoy it in a way. Not sexually, but I enjoy knowing that my partner is attracted to me. It makes me feel good about myself.

He got really upset. He doesn’t get upset easily and hadn't ever gotten properly upset with me before (at least not to this extent) so I was very taken aback, but I was floored by his reason for being upset. Not word for word, but he essentially said "so basically you want me to frustrate myself to feed your ego?"

I was, I think understandably, completely fucking appalled by such a suggestion. I said of course not, I was just suggesting something I knew worked for someone else because even if it wasn't his thing, we could narrow down options by process of elimination. Which made logical sense, to me. He wasn't calmed though, he started saying things like "so, you want your partner to be attracted to you even though you never plan on actually letting them act on that attraction? Do you see how cruel that is?" And... I don’t know, which is why I'm submitting this here. Is that cruel?

From my perspective, I would think it's only natural to want to know your partner finds you attractive, doesn't everyone want to be wanted to some degree? I don't get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it as he seemed to be implying, and I don't want it to impact my partners in a negative way. If this was something he would find frustrating then no, of course I wouldn't want him to frustrate himself, we could look at other options. When I made the suggestion, I figured the worst that would happen was he'd say no and we'd narrow down the list of options. I never imagined my moral character would be called into question.

He's usually so, so nice to me and it hit really hard for someone who’s usually so fond of me to say I sounded selfish and vain. Both actual words he used when this devolved into an argument. I explained my reasoning for suggesting it to begin with but he said the issue isn’t the suggestion, it's that he thinks that it's fucked up of me to want my partner to be attracted to me when I'm not going to indulge that attraction and it makes him wonder if I'm really a different, worse person deep down and he's only now getting to see it. He called it a red flag. That seemed like such a leap to me but I don't want to dismiss the suggestion out of hand. Many bad people think they're good people, so it's not out of the question.

This was our first real argument, previous disagreements had been talked out very calmly but emotions ran high with this one. I dont know if this is something that triggered him for deeper reasons, considering his reaction was so intensely out of the norm for him, or if the whole thing just looks entirely different from the perspective of someone who isn't sex repulsed.

Am I the asshole here? Is it really as fucked up as he says that I enjoy knowing my partner is attracted to me even though I won't agree to have sex with them?

We didn't discuss the topic any more that night, and it hasn't been brought up since. He hasn't been treating me differently than before, but he's always proactively apologized before when he was in the wrong about things and he hasn't this time, so to me that says he still stands by what he said. His words have stuck with me and they’re eating at me. I feel like such a horrible person, and I have no idea if I should feel more or less guilty about this.

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is upset that I like knowing my partners are attracted to me even though I don't want to and don't intend to have sex with them bc he thinks that's majorly fucked up and a red flag.

What are these acronyms?

[astarionconsort]

"Immortality bad" is bullshit

BG3 really broke me and triggered me to write this rant.

I'm so sick and tired of media hammering over and over again about oh how immortality is such a curse and you won't like it, oh why don't you just accept that you will wither away suffering from degenerative disease, Alzheimer, bad joints and fucking erectile dysfunction?

Oh you will be bored with immortality, oh my god you will outlive your loved ones... NOOOOO immortality is bad and dont you dare to want it. No one wanted to age and turn into a wrinkly prune, zero people wanted to lose their mind into Alzheimer, and those who says becoming brittle with age is such a good thing actually accepted it through centuries of collective stockholm syndrome

"You will get bored of immortality?" Skill issue, the universe is infinite and there's many things to do, your brain forget a lot of things easily. Don't do something for 10 years and you do it again, that thing will become a new experience.

Especially in a high magic world like DnD with multiverse and several different planes. Bored with this new age? Get into cyro sleep and wake up in a new era or do a memory wipe

"You will outlive your loved ones?" If you can get immortality, why your loved ones can't? This argument never made sense to me

"Resource problem." This can be solved with clever management, economic system that is not shit like capitalism and population control, moving to also another planet/planes of existence

"You will end up alone floating in space." Immortality doesnt mean invincibility, also alone? Back to argument number one that you can give immortality to your loved ones, what stopped them from getting it if you can have it too? Also the universe is infinite and in a world like DnD there's many realms

In Baldur's Gate/DnD there are ways to achieve immortality, the most known/popular ones are becoming a lich, vampire, wish spell, become a god, a god blessing or cloning spell.

But somehow even in BG3 the whole 'immortality bad and those who seek immortality must be evil' bullshit is still shoved down my throat and still a forefront.

There's elminster who is chosen of Mystra and immortal, not a bad guy but his immortality is not a focus in bg3

Jaheira has the rite of body preservation to prolong her life because she wanted to keep protecting the city in act3, you can encourage her to do it but somehow she still reject it and just give the scroll to you. The whole thing with Ketheric, Lorrokan wanted immortality and he is an evil wizard. Now your tav/durge can be immortal through three ways, romancing God! Gale or romancing Ascended Astarion or you take over the illithid elder brain.

Now you can seek any other means of immortality for your tav/durge, but I'm just talking what BG3 currently offered

Now I don't believe that Gale God ending is evil, it is an antithesis to his professor ending but its not like he turned into an evil god? As a human his alignment is neutral good and as a god he become true neutral with him in the epilogue saying he will bless anyone with enough ambition whatever they are good or bad people.

But the dev says at some point this ending is evil? Which doesn't make sense because God Gale hasn't do anything that can be classified as evil nor share any evil plan. Hell for god sake he is smart enough to not poke Mystra and left her alone. God Gale becoming evil only happen with recent patch 7 ending IF he takes over the brain

Then another way is to have ascended astarion turn you into a vampire. Now i don't see this as a bad ending for HIM, for astarion, FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF ASCENDED ASTARION. Not from the moralistic perspective of 21st century spectators or a good aligned Tav. Here's the logic If Sauron wins then that is bad for everyone, but for Sauron himself it is not a bad outcome.

But is it evil? YES. Doing the rite if profane ascension is an evil deed (its just Ascendant Astarion and my Tav who is happy becoming a vampire doesnt care about the morality of it) then you can take over the brain, suppose if you can conquer the world with it what stopping you from gaining immortality with such immeasurable power?

But those ways of gaining immortality are either godhood that is seen as 'evil path' by the dev or objectively through evil means like the rite of ascension or taking over the elder brain.

Really in a world where a detective is a fucking talking elephant and you can have sex with a druid bear, why the quest to obtain immortality is always through evil means? A repetition of other media

Like i said there's a way to become immortal trough neutral or good way like clone spell, cloning a younger body and transferring your soul into it or obtaining blessing from good aligned God.

But what forefront in BG3 is the 'evil people seek immortality through evil means'

It is shoving down this "those who seek immortality must be evil or have something wrong with them because how dare they stray away from the path and others must be forced to walk on, how dare they strayed away from the herd, how dare that one crab climbed out of the bucket while others are doomed to rot in it? That person must be evil and has to be punished!"

The argument against immortality that keep appearing in books or movies etc is just a severe case of sour grape. You can't reach for something yet therefore you must hate it/that thing must be bad, a severe case of jealously, and a 'know your place' mentality (know your place, you are just a lousy human unlike those beautiful elves who can live for so long or even forever')

'Immortality bad' is humanity current 'flying is bad and the highest form of hubris, an offence to god.'

No, I dont see immortality as a bad thing and humanity need to get over this sour grape already because it is embarrassing

[hexedwinchester]

How come u dont love Sam protecter and older brother Dean🥹

By Sam own words Dean raised him, a-lot of the good qualities that Sam has he got from Dean. Yeah Sam childhood wasn't the best, but he was deeply loved by Dean, i believe this love helped overcome many obstacles in his life.

In fact again by Sam own words, Deans love and protection is the only thing he could always count on.

I am not saying Dean is perfect, but who is ? To say that Sam needed protection from Dean sounds odd, where Dean is literally his home and the only place he feels safe.

hi @rosedark88

Interesting question and perspective you have offered.. this would be fun to analyse 😊

Before I start, let me be honest: I'm not Dean's biggest fan because I find a lot of his actions to be problematic. Please proceed with caution: you may not like the answer but I'll break it down as logically as I can. (Please remember, this is not a hate post)

Yes, I agree Dean has been Sam's protector (but only until early seasons. I'll explain what I mean) and he did raise him but time and again Dean has confessed if not to others, then his own subconscious that he hated having to carry that burden. He has let it slip that he is bitter about having to raise Sam (which I can understand, it wasn't fair) but I've seen him pretends otherwise which is two-faced IMO. (He confesses this in S03E10 Dream A Little Dream of Me when he is facing himself, in case you are looking for a reference.)

He is also a hypocrite with repressed emotions. He says he admires his dad but deep down he too resented him but he still gave Sam shit about him because Sam was just more blunt about his opinion of John unlike Dean. Again, in the same episode he says "my dad was an obsessed bastard. All that crap about keeping Sam safe was his crap." See what I mean?

Continuing on the hypocrisy, his whole agenda of "what's dead should stay dead" is gone for a toss when he makes that deal the first time to save Sam in S2. He gave Sam a lot of shit for trusting Ruby because she's a demon (unfortunate for Sam she had bad intentions) but Dean trusted Benny, Gadreel, Crowley and Cas when all of these guys have broken his trust later. But we don't see Sam bringing that shit up like Dean tends to.

Let's also not forget that Dean berated Sam for getting Charlie killed over the Book of the Damned but apparently no one cares that his manipulation got Kevin killed too? Do you see the double standards here?

Speaking of saving Sam, every single time he has done something apocalyptic to save Sam, it was for selfish reasons. The main reason is because Dean struggles to let go, to move on. He'd rather drag a zombie Sam around than let the man die. Even you have to agree there's some truth in that.

Dean hated that Sam left for college and it wasn't because he was afraid something might get to him. No, it was because he saw that as Sam's betrayal. That Sam picked college over him.

Now, coming to your question about why Sam needs protection from Dean his apparent 'savior'? Yes, Dean is willing to do anything to "save Sam" from every evil thing out there but that's the whole problem. Why even Billie doesn't like the Winchesters because these guys are willing to risk the destruction of the whole world to save each other which isn't right.

let's look at those grave "save Sam" moments and see what's wrong with those pictures:

Sam's first death in S2: Dean bought himself one way ticket to Hell to bring Sam back because he didn't want to keep doing this without Sam (he confesses this in his monologue to Sam's corpse and also in the Croaton episode when he finds out Sam is infected and doesn't leave). Dean is literally nobody without Sam and I'm not saying this. This is who Dean is. Sam is Dean's essence for survival. So Dean saved Sam for himself putting Sam through the same ordeal that John put Dean through. Dean passes on his trauma to Sam like a hand me down.

Sam's detox: Bobby tried to knock sense into him that it's probably the cold turkey thing that's killing Sam. I know Dean was trying to help him but I doubt he knew the right way to do so. Even when he realised his method would kill Sam, he was okay letting him suffer like that until he died (because then at least he dies human). I'm sorry that's not how you deal with someone with addiction problem. Despite everything, Sam is still willing to work with Dean but he can't get over Sam choosing Ruby and calls Sam a monster.

In season 6, the brothers realise something is off about Sam. At the end of the episode 'You Can't Handle the Truth' Sam comes clean that he felt different since he was brought back and he needs help to figure it out and how does Dean help him? By beating him unconscious, tying him to the chair like he is a monster? The way he talks to Sam in that scene: "you better hope he (Cas) can diagnose you. he asks, you answer and then you shut your cakehole". So Sam isn't allowed to talk about his own body? Oh wait I know, he's not, not when Dean said so.

In Season 8, he impersonates Amelia, sending Sam SOS just so he can he rendevous with Benny? Amelia was a shore in his Sam's storm. He loved her and deeply cared for her. To let him think something happened to her was cruel. Especially given how Sam's past relationships ended up his beloveds dying horrifically. Who plays such sick mind games? And to your own brother??!

Season 9, my favourite, the one that completely dissolved the rose tinted glasses that the show created for Dean: Manipulating Sam into saying yes to be possessed by an angel (an angel you know nothing of) knowing Sam's history of possession, that was just sick. Sam wanted to die. He was ready. If Dean wanted to save him, the least he could do was be honest about it. Not manipulate him into saying yes. But he didn't. He resorted to manipulation because he knew Sam would rather die than be possessed. Something that people fail to understand here is 'the idea of possession' is a hard limit for Sam. But Dean has no regard for it because in his head "he did what he had to and he won't even apologize for that". I'm sorry, that's the biggest red flag to me. I don't care if you have raised me, protected me and kept me safe only for you to stab me where I'm the most vulnerable. You are no different than all those evil things out to hurt me. That's why I love Sam for standing his ground and not forgiving Dean for this. He was right to say he didn't want to be brothers. If my siblings betrayed me like that, I'd leave too.

And whenn in Season 9 finale, Dean wanted to go off to kill metatron on his own, Sam wanted to tag along but what's dean's response? Punch him into unconsciousness and leave him on the street like that? All vulnerable for any monster to attack him? Really?! How is this protecting? Ya maybe metatron won't kill him but something else still might!

Oh and in Season 15, Dean pulled a gun on Sam and mind you he under no dark influence. This was all him. I'm not even going to elaborate further on this.

I can list at least 10 occasions where Dean has hit, punched, beat up Sam but Sam hasn't fought back. And that's not even what bothers me the most. It's the fact that Sam doesn't look surprised (meaning Dean beaten him before and I so believe he has and it's a frequent, almost business as usual like) or he looks scared (I'll try to find that gif where Sam is on the ground putting his hands before his face to protect himself against Dean). Dean is abusive when he is angry.

Something you said in the ask that struck me odd. What qualities did Sam learn from Dean? Let's see some of Sam's core good qualities:

Emotional intelligence

Forgiving

Compassionate

Empathetic

Selflessness

Determination

Self awareness

Open mindedness

Authencity

Dean is not known for any of the above qualities, so I disagree he learnt his good qualities from Dean. Dean has an emotional intelligence of a wooden plank. He holds grudges and isn't nearly as forgiving as Sam is. Compassion and empathy are not Dean's qualities either. Dean is selfish. His first thought is how to use someone to his advantage. He did that with Cas, Crowley, even Jack. I've seen Dean give up more often. His "I can't keep doing this", "why is it our job to save everyone", "who says I want to do this?" are all indicators of this. Self-awareness tends to dwell in his blindspot. I've said this before, Dean is black and white, Sam is grey area meaning Sam is more open minded than Dean. My favourite: nothing about Dean is original. His leather jacket? John's. His car? John's. His music? John's. His life motto? Also John's. Whereas Sam has been authentic, true to himself than Dean ever could. Did Sam learn hunting from Dean? Yes. Loyalty? Yes. But neither of these are Sam's core qualities. So I disagree that Sam's good qualities come from Dean. If anything, his good qualities are actually him trying not to be like Dean.

Sam can count on Dean's love and protection because he has been conditioned to since he was 6 months old. First by his father and then by Dean himself either through emotional abuse (he keeps reminding him about how his decisions always end up with someone dying or gaslighting him into guilt tripping on things outside his control) or downright physical beatings. The Winchesters have dysfunctional family and relationships. Again, remember Sam is the forgiving one in this relationship. In fact Sam is forgiving to a fault and that's what this is. It doesn't make Dean's actions right just because Sam has been forgiving them.

To summarise, here why I feel Sam needs protection from Dean:

Dean saves Sam only because he doesn't know how to live without him. That's not normal. He has done crazy shit to "save him" resulting in causing Sam more trauma

He quickly lashes out (often resulting in verbal or physical violence) because of his repressed emotions and poor anger management

He has verbally and physically hurt Sam either by calling him a monster or saying he doesn't trust him or by beating him unconscious on multiple occasions

he is controlling, bossy and threatening. "If didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you." Sorry, if I were Sam, I wouldn't feel very safe

Dean doesn't see the wrong in his action or worse, even when he knows he is wrong, he is too stubborn to apologise for that. Everything is shoved under "I did what I had to" or "I'm not apologizing for saving you".

Dean has manipulated Sam and gaslit him

His whole "this is a dictatorship" comes across as a red flag which takes me to my next point:

He never treated Sam as his equal. Don't see how that counts as love

Dean was mad at Sam in DSOTM because Sam's happy memories (that Sam wasn't in control of and the whole situation was probably rigged. I mean, Zachariah cosied up with Mary's image for god's sake) didn't involve Dean. The idea that Sam can have a life outside Dean has never sat well with him

He has locked Sam in the panic room on at least 3 occasions. Sam hasn't done that even once

Sorry, but Dean is not a poster boy for love and protection. When I look at a character, I not only analyse their actions but also try to understand why they acted the way they did. In Dean's case, the why has always been problematic.

Dean's intentions maybe good but his actions don't always align. His philosophy has always been "if the means justify the end" but I don't stand by it. This is what makes room for immoral, tyrant and corrupt actions and an excuse to hide you wrong doings behind those.

These are my views on why I feel Sam needed to be saved from Dean. You may or may not agree and it's fine either ways 😊

Damn! That was lengthy. But thanks for this interesting ask, it was fun! 😇

[beatcroc]

idle thoughts on the smaller clones

and drawing them incorrectly bc i dont care ❤

the way the clones spawn infinitely offscreen in the war level is the same thing as fp's duplication thing in his fight, it's just that his version is WAY toned down. in both cases the clone duplicates are like fully separate, technically autonomous Guys that the original has no control over, so for the war clones that means they're just kind of blindly making infinite guys. In fake pep's case, either his duplication ability got severely nerfed after pizzahead saw what a huge problem that was gonna be, or fp is just smart enough to make the duplicates super weak so they fall apart after a few seconds.

the ones seen ingame are only the 'latest and greatest', as it were. all the clones before fp had just been about trying to make a Stable Alive Thing, so there wasn't much focus on sentience, or durability, or really anything else. most of the ones before those ingame couldn't survive, and the ones that did got eaten by the newer, more evolutionarily "fit" generations. CONTEXT: awhile back @unexpectedbrickattack had been talking about earlier gens of clones being closer to real biological life, being Actually grown from cells or embryos or what have you, but pizzahead gave up on that pretty fast because things going very bad and wrong with actual flesh and blood and that whole complex mess is, um, a hell of a lot worse than just having to clean up some nonspecific Gunk. anyway. it wasn't the intent for them to wind up 90% weird gunk beings, but as creating artificial life goes the less things that can go wrong the better, so gradually more and more of their organs and systems were simplified and/or replaced entirely by all-purpose self-sustaining gunk.

they're largely mindless and very much feral but i wouldn't really call them evil; the biggest problem is really just that they don't have a fear of people or, like, anything else. they're no more destructive than any wild animal, it's just that they have a much higher rate of, uh, Incidents because there's nothing stopping them from wandering everywhere they shouldn't be or just going up to someone and going ham. the Can be cute sometimes but they're also unpredictable and don't have much consistent logic to be trained otherwise so trying to interact with one will most likely just get you bitten and/or mauled

i do however believe so hard in all the clones being violently territorial with eachother, and fake pep is actually a lot more hostile to them now. not that he hasn't always hated them, but back in the labs there was just a ton of them everywhere so it was a 'pick your battles' thing and he'd only go after them if they were in the way or bothering him directly. now that they're not an omnipresent nuisance AND he's got a place to definitively call his own? it's kill on sight. It's like 80% territorial instinct but there's a note of 'do NOT fuck this up for me' in there as well. they Are still out there somewhere postgame, but it's not really relevant for my purposes bc they're way the fuck off wherever that warzone is, and the chances of any finding their way to peppino's pizzeria or anywhere else the cast may interact with them is Highly Unlikely.

[thekingofwinterblog]

Why Izuku FEELS like a Failure Hero

So, it's no secret by now that the final chapter of My Hero Academia ended on a less than universally loved ending.

There is a small host of reason why this is, but one i see thrown around a lot withouth any analysis really going into it, is the idea that Izuku was a failure hero.

He wasnt of course, Izuku though he could not save Tenko... But he did defeat both Shigaraki and All For One.

He saved the world, he restored peace and order to Japan and stopped a rampage that would have seen the entire island sunk beneath the waves and everyone on it except for Shigaraki's personal inner circle dead.

He saved millions, upon millions of lives and ended the life and times of AFO, the great evil of over a hundred years.

He was also instrumental in stopping the third movie's villain, and was one of the people of saved billions of lives by doing so.

He is withouth any doubt, the MHA World's greatest hero, bar none.

So with that in mind... why does izuku FEEL like an utter failure in the end? He might not logically be one, but he sure as hell FEELS like one.

Why?

Well, to put it bluntly, this particular problem stems from 2 overarching parts.

The first is of course that Izuku had a bad ending. He returned to being Quirkless, didnt get to live his dream, he seemingly begun to be the one guy that Class A begun to leave behind(Even with the surprise at the end, it doesnt change the fact that we get nothing to suggest he remained particularily close with any of them, and the fact they kept this plan a secret for 5 years just makes everything worse), and has been forgotten.

That is a full on bad ending, and the fact the narrative refuses to focus on that and acknowledge the fact that this is a horrible outcome for izuku, is one of it's mayor problems.

However, that is only the first big problem of the final chapter, and it's the more obvious one that pisses so many people off.

But just because he had a bad ending, does not mean that Izuku had to feel like a failure hero. After all, plenty of Heroes had bad endings, and did not feel like failure Heroes.

Batman both in the DCAU and in the Dark Knight Returns stopped being Batman, and yet i dont think you would find many people who would say either felt like failures at the end of the day in their stories.(well unless you count the terrible sequels Miller wrote after he went off the deep end, but that's a subject for another day).

I could pull out a lot of examples of similar heroes who in the end quit or died and who very much doesnt FEEL like failures, but i want to continue to focus on DCAU Batman in particular for one, very specific reason that illustrates so well why Izuku feels like a failure, even if he ultimately isnt one.

Batman Beyond opens on an old Bruce Wayne's last night as batman, when he decides to finally quit after a heart attack forces him to threaten a man with a gun.

In his own mind, he is a failure, and it is this action that finally breaks his spirit.

But most fans dont consider this Bruce a Failure at all. Why?

Well it certainly helps that he has so many other amazing feats and accomplishments across the rest of the DCAU, so it's hard to blame him for this one, single moment, but there is a bigger reason.

Bruce Wayne's big mission in life, was to clean up gotham city.

He did a lot of things outside of that, such as saving the world multiple times, but this was his great mission, his goal, the thing that truly drove him.

And you know what?

He suceeded.

Crime would return both big and small scale, but Bruce Wayne's choice to keep going for years and years, ending up outlasting all the traditional supervillains and street criminals of his age, allowed Gotham to flourish, and become an incredibly advanced and developed futuristic city.

For All that Batman Beyond is about deconstructing Bruce and his personal relationships and how they fell to pieces, He WON the war.

It might not have been a total victory, but every single episode of Batman Beyond that showcases Gotham showcases that The Dark Knight's Crusade was NOT in vain. He gave EVERYTHING for this cause, and he won.

Bruce might never be able to mentally appreciate it, because it was not a total victory that led to no more crime forever, but we the reader can.

We can see the change in Gotham from before he started, into his early years, his prime, the later years, and finally where it is now in Beyond.

It was a long, and bumpy road, but Gotham's number one son succeeded in his great goal of cleaning up his city and making it prosperous and reaching the heights his parents dreamed for it.

His legacy is clear and lives on, long, long past the days when he stalked the night.

He was not a failure, neither on the logical level, nor in that he feels like one.

And you know what? The DCAU crew managed to make that clear, even though I dont think there wasnt a single statue in all of Gotham dedicated to the Dark Knight.

Now, lets compare this to Izuku.

Izuku also gave EVERYTHING for his cause.

His body is a scarred and deformed mess, because time and again, wheter it be to defeat villains, or just helping people, he was always willing to sacrifice every bit of himself to do it.

Izuku gave away his quirk, and with his future.

and though it was reversed, he gave away his arms just to TRY to help Tenko.

He more than anyone else, gave EVERYTHING for this fight. He gave away his body, dreams, future, EVERYTHING for the cause, and he pulled it off!

He beat All For One, he saved the world and countless lives.

So, why then does he feel like a loser at the end?

Is the fact that he ended up alone and forgotten by society at large really why?

That's what happened to DCAU Bruce Wayne after all... But that's not really it.

The Reason Izuku Feels like a loser at the very end, is that the last chapter does not in any way feel like he contributed anything to help usher in this new age, nevermind that HE above ANYONE ELSE was the one that made it happen!

The idea of having a final chapter showcasing the successfull futures of everyone else EXCEPT for Izuku who ultimately didnt get to live his dream is NOT a bad idea at all.

It might not be how i would have ended it, but even taking away the idea of a reversal at the end, you could make that sort of ending satifsying.... IF you spent that chapter showcasing what a difference Izuku made in everyone else's life.

Because that would have hammered in the point that HE was the one that made it all happen. HE was the catalyst for all of these people to continue on and grow into great Heroes.

Shoto is a great example.

What we get of how he ended up is a really sweet thing... But you know what would have been way, way better?

If we had a scene of him being interviewed, and he talked about how it was IZUKU who was HIS great hero, and inspired him to become the hero he ultimately became.

But we dont. For anyone.

Not one time, amongst all of Izuku's friends and acquaintances are we reminded or shown in this final chapter how much he inspired and motivated them forward.

Not ONCE.

The closest we get, is Kota asking Izuku a question while blushing, and the only thing that tells us is that Kota is still a bit shy in his teenage years.

The ONLY character in this ENTIRE chapter who actually feels inspired by Izuku is Dai, and even is untientionally backhanded, when it's clear that it's not that Izuku really inspired him, the way All Might Inspired Izuku, but rather that this kid is a Hero Otaku like Izuku himself who just so happens to recognize Izuku amongst a lineup of heroes.

He's not even the first Hero the kid Thinks of after All Might!

ENDEAVOR IS!

THE GUY WHO IS PUBLIC KNOW TO HAVE ABUSED HIS KIDS, RAPED HIS WIFE, AND WHO'S OLDEST SON WAS AN INFAMOUS SERIAL KILLER THAT ENDEAVOR BROUGHT ABOUT!!!

THIS is the problem with this chapter.

This chapter elevates EVERYONE else, EXCEPT for Izuku.

When people complain that Izuku didnt even get a statue for saving the world, when monoma did, and it's shut down as "it was never about fame for izuku", they are missing the forest for the trees.

The Problem is not that Izuku didnt even get a statue. The fact he didnt get a statue, is part of a greater problem that new age does not in ANY WAY fell like something that Izuku was the main driver in bringing into being.

---Edit---

So apparently there was a statue after all... And the fact it's so inconsequential that at first point you'd be forgiven for thinking it was actually Kirishima, as I thought at first.

That said, the fact it is so tiny a detail actually hammers in my point that Izuku feels completely inconsequential to this chapter even more.

---

Even the whole class A getting Izuku back into the game feels like it completely shits all over Izuku, like he did not matter at all in making this new age, the age where this class is able to shine.

We are not in ANY WAY given a SINGLE insight into their thoughts about all this! The reason why so many people shit ALL OVER their stupid plan to NOT tell Izuku ANYTHING is that this is the ONLY THING we actually know about how they felt about all of this!

And because this is the only insight we get into their thoughts, the only thing we can say for sure, is that whatever their feelings were, they did NOT RESPECT Izuku at all, despite everything they went through together.

They decided his future for him withouth ever asking, and let him continue for over half a decade resigned to his new job that despite everything he says, he clearly was not happy with.

This moment could have been the culmination of their bonds with Izuku, where they finally repaid him for everything... But instead it just hammers in the point that Izuku FEELS like a huge loser that DID NOT MATTER in the slightest in the end.

That's not true, but that IS how it feels.

Izuku could not achieve anything by his own power, and the people who helped him achieve his goals? Well they clearly did not respect Izuku, and they did not seem to care to go out of their way to keep their relationship with him going strong through the years.

what it FEELS like, is that a bunch of school buddies throwing one of their former friends a bone now that they have all made it big, rather than an actual long term motivation because they really loved Midoriya.

honestly, this entire chapter feels like Hori took it for granted that the reader would just think "See all these people Izuku was aquainted with succeed? Remember how strong his bonds with them are?" and make us immediatly just take the most charitable reading possible at face value.

It clearly WANTS us to think that way, that all of this was only possible thanks to Izuku, but it doesnt actually do ANY attempt at selling this idea.

This world, and the people in it, does not in any way feel like Izuku was the one who brought it and them about. That might be the logical truth, but it does not feel like it at all.

Instead, at the very end, when all is said and done... Izuku feels like a complete loser, a side character in his own story who never amounted to anything, and does not inspire love, admiration, and respect from anyone he actually knows.

That is why, even though he saved the world, he FEELS like a total loser.

[bettsfic]

hi betts, lately ive found myself absolutely terrified to write a fic/novel thing ive spent so many years planning and developing about. i dont think i know how to write it. ive found chapters format make me really anxious and clueless but i dont know how it can go in any other way because its always a novel thing; ive considered laying it all out a la webnovel but i dont think it works. whats your wisdom? do you ever get caught in similar things?

sometimes i think the clearer something is in your head, the harder it can be to put on the page, because prose is inherently linear and imagination isn't. you have to do the work of articulating what you see in a way that's logical and organized to the reader in the hope they'll see it too. prose is very flawed in that way. but it also creates an intimacy between reader and text that i don't think any other medium really possesses.

the problem is that when you do get it on the page, it's going to come out bad and out of order. no matter how comfortable you get with revision and rewriting, i don't think that initial "oh god this sucks, this isn't what i want at all" discomfort doesn't go away.

personally what's been working for me lately is that i do all my brainstorming by hand and then all my early drafting on a typing machine called a Pomera. it's a Japanese device that's just a text editor. literally nothing else. you type on it. that's been a big game changer for me. i bought it to help stay away from distractions while i write but i've found i enjoy having a separate place entirely for early drafting. it's very hard to nitpick text on a tiny screen that you can only navigate with arrow keys. there are similar devices and ways to replicate what i use my Pomera for, but that's my system.

as for chapters, they're really only an organizational system the writer needs to make sense of the major movements of the story. if making chapters doesn't do that for you, then, i mean, it's not like the reader needs them. readers need scene breaks i think, and maybe the occasional page break, but chapters are very much a benefit to the writer. it's a lot easier to wrap your head around "i'm revising chapter 7" than "i'm revising that part where my character goes to the hospital."

i don't start with chapters. i start almost everything with four boxes and i put all my scene ideas in those four boxes. the story never stays that way (always becomes 5 parts. always.), but that's how i start. when i begin writing a story, the chaptering happens on its own. i get to a natural break in the story (a high point, not a low one), and then that helps to set the pace.

so my advice is to start writing and let the story teach you how it wants to be organized.