#like a difference the height of shaq

[fazcinatingblog]

Could barely sleep before, definitely can't sleep with the thought of Cody Weightman and Shaquille O'Neal

[tani-b-art]

The WNBA is three years shy of 30 years old! She’s a 27 year old woman! The league is almost 3 decades old and garnered fans and support on the women’s talent, skills and gifts and their love and our love of the game and that’s what keeps us here! The W earned every single fan since 97, period!

And that’s with or without dunking!

Shaq, you told on yourself my boy! If Caitlin Clark is his bench marker for logo 3s….he literally JUST started watching this year because Diana Taurasi been knocking down logo 3s and that woman is a vet-vet. Maya Moore was hitting logo 3s! Arike Ogunbowale does it with ease. Kelsey Plum too. Sabrina Ionescu been doing this since she came to the W. Sooo sooo many ladies are pioneers of that!

Like just go to bed, Shaquille! Can barely make out a word that man was saying anyway. Just be honest in your support. Just say, “I only began watching this year” or “I just fully paid attention in 2024”. But stop downplaying and projecting your non-support out of your personal context.

And yet again, the sexism just can’t ever NOT seep out, huh? No matter what the ladies do, it won’t ever be enough for most male viewers like Shaq. The fact that aesthetics was even part of his conversation at all w/ basketball let’s us know how archaic and sexist he is. Basketball, looks and clothes. Which of these don’t belong? Shaq, please sir hush. He doesn’t respect the league and doesn’t respect the women and with all that he said (being real and being real subjective), does he even respect his relative, Angel? Sat across from her on her own platform and said all that trash. Some men have really just inserted themselves in a very unpleasant way. Just superficial and unintelligent, irrelevant points. These shallow qualifiers men have set for women are unmatchable, un-pleaseable. Not a thing sports-related at all half the time.

And no, the solution ain’t lowering the rim. How long is that gonna be the go-to fake solver of viewership? The ladies have said they don’t want to have the rim lowered because of muscle memory w/ the height it’s at now! And besides, lowering the rim won’t make for more dunks for the ladies!

And not to get all detailed and all that but I don’t know if some men have to be reminded but the physical makeup of women and men is very different. There are bodily parts between women and men that move about extremely differently during exertion. Naturally, women’s bodies have very unique attributes that men don’t have to be able to possibly do a very amazing thing (of bringing forth life) and that alone makes for how the body differs in physiology and how the bodies function and move because of that. What women’s bodies go through monthly is very different from men. With all that in mind, if anyone thinks a lowered rim will make for more dunks from the ladies, then just don’t watch. The ladies don’t need dunks to win and play a sport they love and entertain us! I don’t even think they want to be dunking all the time like that anyway.

FAIR SHARE of revenue is what they’re asking for. None of them is asking to match NBA salary but they just want to receive the same share percentage as their male counterparts. Even with that said and in response to a part of Shaq’s interview, NBA benchwarmers who never get a lick of minutes still make more than WNBA starters most of the time.

And besides, just stop comparing the two leagues. One is a whole great grandfather with great-great grandkids while the other is just getting around to her late 20s. However, the league has gone thru highs and lows just as the NBA has. Viewership hasn’t always been a steady high nor have sales and attendance every single season for the NBA and it’s been around for just about 100 years almost. Allow the W to also go through its wins, loses and gains. Viewership and sales and attendance and online engagement has been on the up and up for the last 5 seasons for the W. It’s way too much non-objectivity when men start speaking on the WNBA.

And didn’t we tell y’all to wrap up all these stale, tired and through non-narratives as soon as the Finals were complete?! Lower the rim and the recycled and regurgitated Clark stuff. It’s old! All the rookies of 2024 are sophomores now. Quit it.

(this isn’t fully fleshed out as I’d like but I typed as it was coming)

[alolanroy]

2024 Watch Thread Part 6

Part 5

I accidentally deleted a few of these so some may be brief

Gundam Requiem for Vengeance: It is a true successor to MS IGLOO: well rendered, acceptably written but occasionally amusingly comical with its character animation. 6/10

Star Trek Beyond: With each rewatch, I notice how the characters directly state the themes of the film, though I can't help but love it. It has the spirit of trek in its heart. 8/10

Pluto (anime): The double-issue structure didn't work for me at the start, but it really won me over by the end. I really latched onto a few of the plotlines, though I was a little ahead for a few. 'Astro boy' and 'Gulf War' aren't concepts I ever expected to link in my head. 8/10

Wallace and Gromit-Curse of the Were-Rabbit: Delightful and funny. A great date night movie 7/10

Skyrim-Vigilant: The humble start belies the exponential scope and execution of each subsequent chapter. At a certain point I went from 'we get it, you like FromSoft' to 'holy shit' to 'damn that's believably canon'. Sadly, this mod left me with a net negative feeling. Certain items were bugged and poisoned my saves once I made it to Coldharbour. Unfortunately, I have to leave it unfinished.

Cybuster—I was curious about the premise, but when the obvious twist took 8 episodes to come to roost, I was checked out. I watched as much as I could before giving in and skipping around. The animation gets bizarrely budgeted and the digipaint inserts feel painfully stilted. This should've stayed as an OC robot in SRW. 3/10

Steel - There's something so good-natured about late 90's and early 2000s superhero movies. They didn't need to be accurate, but they knew how to have fun. Their commitment to camp allowed them to be creative in the way that makes tokusatsu good, Shaq's ear-to-ear grin is infectious. -8/10

Zelda Unknown Origins—This is such a capsule to the pre-Hyrule historia era of Zelda. The edges hadn't gotten sanded off yet, and this teenage angst won us over with its earnestness. There is a moment where the number of OCs overtakes the canon characters. -6/10

SantaStein - This had a little more juice than these low budget 'comedy' 'horror' movies usually do, but it never really delivered. -5/10

The Last Airbender (2010) - This is even more baffling as an adult. The Fire Nation didn't just throw the world out of balance when they started the way, they also have the only actors with any talent on their side. The only redeeming quality is the funny-bad bending. This movie sucks. -4/10

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl - A mechanically perfect movie. 10/10

Project Borealis Prologue - It all just feels wrong. The looks, sounds and feels of everything just don't feel right. It was too short for me to really get used to the different feel, but my first impression wasn't great. 3/10

A-Tech Cybernetic VR - I was excited for the doom 2016 VR that it seemed to be trying to be, but the execution wasn't there. The experience was just kind of off. All the equipment slots were in awkward overlapping positions and the enemies weren't that interesting. It particularly lost me when it cheated and spawned some zombies behind me in a dark corridor, and the whole experience just felt cheap from there. 4/10

The Man From UNCLE - More of these please. 7/10

Deadpool and Wolverine: Didn't move the needle for me at all. I think I smiled once? Huge Actman sure did turn in a performance this movie didn't deserve. 3/10

The Funny World of Pets - Few 'movies' have made me laugh this hard. Nonsensical dialogue that doesn't match canned animations of animals sitting in fixed locations, that occasionally cut to random stock footage of animals. I laughed so hard I begged for the guy with the remote to pause it. -9/10

Free Birds - What the hell, this movie was hilarious. Good comedic timing can overcome any shortfalls in its animation. Great group watch. 7/10

Troll 2: This film is truly bizarre but didn't reach the mythic heights I was promised. It was too interested in its attempts at plant gore and gross food stuff to pace the good-bad well. -5/10

PseudoRegalia - This game had a specific vision and felt like it executed exactly what it aimed to be. I did end up feeling good about the movement system by the end, but there were a few moments where the tolerances of certain chains of wall jumps were too tight to feel fun. 7/10

420BLAZEIT 2: GAME OF THE YEAR -=Dank Dreams and Goated Memes=- [#wow/11 Like and Subscribe] Poggerz Edition: Game of the year edition - It's like Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe, but instead of having wit, it has movement. Blasted through this in one sitting with a friend. Having to use off-brand memes feels strange, but I'm glad they could work it into the plot. There were a lot of fun ideas and gameplay moments. Using side objectives for guns was a great way of giving clues to more hidden gags and incentivizing repeated play. 7/10

Sprawl - It took a bit for the combat to 'click' for me. Its mix of bullet time and addicting enemy arenas call to mind how I wanted Doom Eternal to feel, though I think it failed in the execution in a few areas. The first area didn't really explain the wall running particularly well, and I only found myself 'getting' it in the latter half. Unfortunately, the ending fell a little flat due to the script timing being a bit off. I'm a bit over Blade Runner-style orientalist cyberpunk now, but the trans pride flag in the background of the credits was amusing (not at all surprising tho lol). 7/10

Hero - Points for big imperial city shenanigans and wuxia action, but it didn't quite land for me. Maybe its because an error on netflix's end made the sound way out of sync. 6/10

Freaked - Possibly the most 90's movie that doesn't include a skateboard. The gag density makes up for any early overreliance on gross-out prosthetics. They just don't make comedies like this anymore. 7/10

[smokeybrand]

Uncomfortable Truths

I read this news report the other day, about a basketball game where a transwoman played in a women’s league game. She literally injured three players on the opposite team. There was a visible difference in both height, build, and athleticism. Like, ma was out here rag doling her opponents for loose balls and steals. Sh*t was egregious. It got so bad, the opposite team had to forfeit because they basically ran out of players. Admittedly, they were already riddled with injury, but this transwoman picking off three more left the squad with five, total, healthy players. That nonsense is a f*cking farcical. It’s sh*t like this which frustrates the hell out of me because it makes all the bigots look right in their hatred. I’m all about living your truth and support your right to finding happiness, but sh*t like this is patently absurd to me. Real harm has been done to these girls because this transwoman grew up playing against other boys and men. That physicality is ingrained into us. We bang in the post, foul hard on shots, and battle hard in the scrum for loose balls. If Shaq has to ice his shoulders after games because of all the beatings he took in the paint against dudes smaller than him, what chance does a bunch of high school girls have against a transwoman damn near a foot taller and thirty pounds heavier? Transwomen are women but it’s nuts to think they don’t have a very physical advantage over biological women. That trans swimmer from Penn was ranked abysmally when she competed with men.

The minute she switched to women, she absolutely dominated, almost always first or second in the nation. You’re nuts if you think that wasn’t strictly because she’d spent the majority of her life as a male, reaping all of those biological benefits for decades. A year on estrogen ain’t diminishing that. Or that sprinter from a while ago who was intersex. She sued the Olympic board after she was banned but, you know, ma has actual balls. They were internal and severely atrophied, but still produced testosterone, which was enough to register on a test and give her an unfair advantage. She lived her entire life benefiting from physical superiority, based on her male biology. Sure, she identified as a woman and was raised as one, but you don’t get to compete with women when you have a clear and distinct advantage they do not. Everyone is so caught up in how transpeople feel, that they are absolutely stomping over how everyone else feels. I understand that transfolks want to belong. I do. I get that. And there are certain spaces where that can be a thing. I don’t think sports is one of them, not if you want fair competition, anyway. There’s a reason why the WNBA exists. There’s a reason why there’s a WPGA. There’s even a Women’s division in the WWE and that sh*t is fake. Acknowledging the difference in physicality between genetically male and female is not bigotry. It’s not offensive. It’s basic common sense and should be approached as such.

[lolli-says-stuff]

I just want a height difference like Big Shaq and Kevin Hart have. I’m Kevin hart in this scenario.

[jasper-dracona]

Also that comparison the first person made sucks balls.

Height is the product of TONS of alleles all acting on the same trait in different ways (hence why there aren’t set phenotypes, like you could only be tall, medium, and small. Instead there’s a range and you can be anywhere on it). And you are given that height by your parents’ genetics. And DNA can replicate functionally infinitely. Like.

I don’t know how else to say it. Shaq is 7ft tall cause he’s got the genes that make him 7ft tall. You can’t touch that, you can’t change that, and he didn’t have to get his height from anywhere other than his parents genes, and he didn’t take anything from them in the process, other than like, energy, really. Because the genes were replicated and then passed on.

The only way one might not be considered in the category of “tall” even at 6’3” is if the average height of the human population increased by a solid amount. It’s relative to the number of people who are any given height because all “tall” means is “noticeably above average height” so the average is the determiner of what is “tall.” It’s subjective and based on perception. One person having a greater height than you cannot make you not-tall.

Also. Numbers wise. This just isn’t correct. Someone making $300,000 a year and someone making over $2,000,000 an hour is not comparable to 6’3” vs 7’. One of those is 9 inches. The other is the ability to stage coups in foreign countries for the sake of your own business prospects.

[bugaboo-valerie]

In light of the recent GoT fandom drama going on with Targ/Dany stans and their criticism/hate on Sophie Turner... I want to pop in and give my genuine opinion[s].

Last year, when I was seventeen-almost-eighteen and in my senior year of high school, I was going through a really awful time mentally. My grades were dropping, I was having anxiety attacks, was extremely unwell mentally and gained a bit of weight. It started at the end of January, which wasn’t too long before I discovered Sophie through the Jonas Brothers’ documentary (as I’d been a fan of them since childhood, and was so excited when they got back together, so I watched it on Amazon Prime as soon as I could). When I searched her up online for the first time, one of the first things that came up was her interview on Dr. Phil where she spoke about her depression. I didn’t regularly watch him nor was I really a fan of his (more so indifference than anything), but I wanted to watch it to hear what she had to say as I was going through a hard time myself. As I began to watch more and more of her, I really began to love her as a person and think of her as my role model, and hearing her own story made me have hope that I would make it through my own hard times (and I did soon enough). Safe to say, she means a lot to me, and is one of my favorite celebrities and actors for her awareness, activism and in general, I really love and admire her as a person.

Back on topic - as someone who’s part-black (black, white, Latina and Brazilian, but not 25% of each yet with the ethnicity of my grandparents and great-grandparents on both sides), I think it’s sick that so many Dany stans want to accuse Sophie of saying the n-word and trying to make her into a racist/the Antichrist just because they don’t care for her. Instead of trying to start rumors about an actress/actor you don’t like and trying to make them into a terrible person with questionable views/politics/opinions etc., why don’t you focus on actual non-black celebs who’ve said the n-word or other racist/offensive slurs? And not to mention, there are so few white celebrities who are being genuine right now when it comes to the current protests and movements, and as a WOC/POC, I can TELL when someone is being genuine. And imo, Sophie 100% is. Not everyone who likes her is white, and you may never know; she, Sansa or both could mean a whole lot to many people outside of a fictional character on-screen, and I’m one of them. She and her character can mean a lot to people who were depressed like Sophie herself, or who went through emotional, psychological, physical and sexual abuse like Sansa. Regardless of color, gender, class and sexuality, as a LOT of people like to say that all her stans are rich cishet white girls

But it doesn’t stop there with their Sophie hate - and even though they happened a while ago, the following few I’ll discuss beneath the cut are also quite... sick.

Let’s start off with what they’ve said just this year about Sophie’s pregnancy. Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING that anyone else in the fandom has done, no matter who they are will ever beat that level of vileness. There’s no excuses for anyone who did that, regardless of who they are (sexuality/gender, race, religion and disabilities are no excuse to be a disgusting POS who wishes harm on a pregnant woman, Janet). No question, they deserved to be called out and criticized for those actions (the Dany stans who did, not the ones who were actively against it and called out their own kind). I’m not even going to get into this one, because anyone with common sense or any type of morals should know just WHY what they said about Sophie’s pregnancy was so fucking sick and wrong. And if you don’t/disagree with me, please, block and unfollow me ASAP.

And the second one is revolving around a rather controversial topic in the fandom: The reunion special.

Let’s start with the story of how the drama in the fandom all went down: Sophie made a joke about Kit showing up to set drunk, it was completely harmless to everyone except for Dany/Targ/Emilia stans who decided that Sophie was the Antichrist and were having fits of unholy screeching in their corners.

But before people can twist my words, no, I do NOT think that it’s funny to make jokes about addiction. It’s so fucking distasteful, and I can get exactly why some people are triggered/upset by it. But, keep in mind that the special was actually filmed in June 2018. A long time before anyone in the cast or the media and people knew about Kit’s addiction. Of course, I’m NOT saying that I would defend her if she already knew and still proceeded to make jokes about it - because I wouldn’t. I’m just saying that she didn’t know and was genuinely joking, so I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt in that particular situation. Nobody knew about Kit’s struggles then, as it was filmed in 2018, and not 2019 like a lot of people. I love Kit as well, and did feel sorry for him when his drinking problem was revealed, but Sophie genuinely didn’t know, so I won’t bash or chastise her for her comments.

And while we’re on the topic of Kit’s drinking problem - didn’t some Targ stans on Twitter say he ‘deserved’ it because of Jon killing Dany? And their hatred towards the cast doesn’t just stop at him; Isaac, Maisie, Nikolaj, John Bradley and I believe Lena had to experience it too (after Cersei killed Missandei), however, I could be wrong. But TL/DR: It’s sick that Targ stans would start such awful rumors about Sophie just because they dislike her and stan for Dany/Emilia (who, while I like her, DEFINITELY has her flaws off-screen and I have disagreed with several comments she’d made and some things she’s done). Racism isn’t a funny joke you can get away with and start rumors about a celeb you don’t like doing racist things just for shits and giggles or because you hate them for absolutely zero reason.

Now, don’t get me wrong - there ARE bad/toxic Sansa and Sophie stans. Every fandom has shitty fans, and just about every character/celebrity does too. And it’s true that they CAN be gross - but they don’t even come CLOSE to the level that Her Satanic Majesty/EC’s stans do. And if you have to completely and utterly destroy and demonize one character (Sansa) to make another look good (Dany), like a lot of Dany stans have done in their own original content (along with the crosstagging, but I won’t get into that here), you’re only proving just how bad your fave is.

[messedupfan]

Should've Told You (Leigh Shaw x Reader) Chapter 4

Summary: Things get... complicated.

A/N: Not my gif, I don't know how to make those.

Masterlist | All Chapters

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It was summer when Leigh and Jules invited you to go to the mall with them. Luckily your portion of your dad’s child support had just arrived so you had some spending money, though you weren’t really planning on buying anything. You woke up the day of feeling off but you decided not to cancel on them and force yourself out of bed. Unfortunately, your mom couldn’t drop you off this time and you didn't feel like walking over to Leigh's. So you ended up in an awkward car ride with your mom's husband instead, not helping with your mood much. However, when you arrived looking for your friends your mood lifted considerably higher. It didn’t matter that you spent practically every day with Leigh, seeing her still made you feel better. She noticed too. You recall that time she saw you smiling and said, "Why are you so happy? We haven't talked yet." You were confused and she felt embarrassed.

You greeted both girls with a hug and then the three of you walked around the mall. They were looking for a birthday present for their mom and you were just around to hang out. But because you were still moody your expression wasn’t very friendly and you accidentally scared away a few guys debating on approaching your friends. Jules noticed this too and cracked a joke about how you’re their personal protective giant. Even though this was a form of a compliment you didn’t like when people joked about your height, you felt that you weren't even tall, so you resorted to calling her a hobbit. Jules in return called you bigfoot. You shot back with funsize. “Whatever Shaq,” she rolled her eyes. Leigh laughed at the both of you because she thought she was safe which caught Jules’ attention. “What are you laughing at Michael Jackson? Just because you’re normal size doesn’t mean you’re perfect.” Your eyes widen in surprise and you let out a laugh but quickly come to Leigh’s defense.

“Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? Leave your sister out of this,” you say with a pointed look.

“Damn, Jules. Looks like Y/n is just my protector,” she wrapped her arm around yours and stuck her tongue out at her sister. Jules rolled her eyes and ventured off when something caught her attention. Leaving you alone with Leigh and because she was such a touchy person she continued to cling to your arm almost the entire time you guys were there. She would only leave your side if something caught her eye that she thought her mom would like, Jules would usually talk her out of it as you wandered the area aimlessly.

Leigh began to think that you were bored, even though you weren't, and felt guilty so at some point she began to harass you about what stores you like to browse. You didn’t want to tell her that you absolutely hated shopping and couldn’t stand to be at malls because the amount of people always gave you the worst panic attacks. So you just went to the two places you knew the most, Spencers and Hot Topic. You only looked around at each store not really interested in spending your money. While the two of you exited Hot Topic, you suggested that she should return to searching for her mom’s gift before it’s too late and you guys are being picked up.

She disagrees and drags you over to the food court. Her and Jules grab meals at different restaurants and get frustrated with you when you refuse to eat. You refrain from telling them that your anxiety is high at the moment and food is the last thing you want. Instead you just tell them you’re not hungry and that’s when Leigh makes you eat some of her fries and Jules shares some of her food. You begrudgingly eat what they give you but don’t act ungrateful.

After the food is gone the three of you sit at the table a little longer to chat and joke around. Then a new group of guys come over and try to chat up Leigh and Jules, ignoring you completely. You roll your eyes at their awful pick up lines and feel terrible for your friends but a quick read on these guys and you know if you don’t approach this properly they will act out. So after another five minutes of their annoying presence you have finally had enough and can tell that your friends have as well. “We have to go, bye now,” you say as you stand up from your seat, taking both of their trays to throw out. The guys make obnoxious sad noises of protest and start to press your friends for their numbers. You can tell that neither of them know how to deny the request so you figure out how to get them out of the situation without causing a scene. “I’ll tell you their numbers, her number,” you point to Leigh, “is 605-475-6968. And they share a phone so it’s a guessing game of who will answer. Good luck to you, we have to go.” You pull Leigh out of her seat by her hand and grab Jules’ arm as you lead them away from the food court.

Leigh laughs when they’re far enough away, “Thank you for that, Y/n. I was worried if we told them no they would have caused a scene or something.” Jules chimes in with her gratefulness that you diffused the situation. Leigh looks back and then turns to you with amusement in her eyes. “What number did you give them?”

You downplay what you did for them and shrug off their gratitude by saying, “Had to work for my meal somehow.” They roll their eyes with a light laugh. “Also the number I gave them was the rejection hotline. I found out about it a few weeks ago, it’s pretty funny. Not sure if those jerks will get a laugh out of it though. They seemed pretty determined to get to know y’all.” You look behind you to make sure they’re still out of your sight. “Anyway… Leigh, you still haven’t gotten that present for your mom. Should we look around some more?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay. I’m sorry for dragging you around everywhere. But I’d hate to go home without something,” Leigh stresses the muscles in her face with an apologetic smile. You dismiss her and tell her it’s fine and then you ignore the flutter in your stomach when you realize she hasn’t dropped your hand. Friends can hold hands. It doesn’t mean anything special, you tell yourself so the urge to tell her that you have feelings for her goes away. How can you be sure that you have strong feelings for her anyway? You could just have a dumb crush and then lose her from your life for good. There was no way you were going to let that happen. Leigh helps you stay out of your head by asking for your opinion on everything she looks at, pulling you around the store by your laced hands. Then she finds something she believes would be perfect for her mom but is a little out of her price range. She bugs Jules for some extra cash but the girl claims to have spent it all already.

“I can pay for the rest,” you offer shyly.

“No, I couldn’t ask you to–”

“I want to. Really, it’s no big deal. Let’s just go pay for it,” you say as you pull her to the register. You hand the cashier the gift and she reads out the total. Leigh hands her what she has and you hand over the rest then leave Leigh’s side to finish up. When the change comes back Leigh tries to give it to you and you shake your head. “Keep it, there’s not much I can do with two dollars and eleven cents.” But Leigh insists that it’s your money. You smile as you continue to dodge her attempts at giving you the change to the point she's literally chasing you around. Jules grabs the gift from the cashier who compliments you and Leigh on being a cute couple. Jules gulps and corrects the woman but laughs as she follows the two of you out of the store where she finds Leigh wrapped around you trying to shove the money into your pockets.

“What are you laughing at over there Dobbie?” You groan as you struggle to get Leigh’s tight arms off of you.

“Oh nothing,” she sing-songs. “Just that the cashier thought you two were a cute couple and honestly, I can totally see it now.” You swallow thickly with a bright red face as you freeze. Leigh’s grip on you disappears entirely and she is frozen beside you. “My god I was just kidding. I told her you guys weren’t so the both of you can relax, here put this in your bag, Leigh.” She hands the gift to her sister who hands it to you asking you to place the item in her mini backpack. She also hands you the money and sternly tells you to keep it. You place the money at the bottom of her bag before adding the gift in there and you bite back a smirk knowing that she won’t know until she gets home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is there anything you want to tell me about… maybe something to do with Leigh?" You roll your eyes at your mother. Since you had the rest of the day off you figured you could visit with her. Ever since you started working again, you've hardly had time to be there for your mom. "Come on, you know I have to tease you every time I see that shit."

"So the images are already out there?" You shake your head as you take a sip from your beer. Your mom watched you, a little concerned because it was barely the afternoon and when she offered you a drink this is what you wanted. Actually, you wanted bourbon but she talked you down to a beer instead. "Crap, I do not want to deal with that today. She shouldn't have to either." You groan as your phone goes off again. Probably your social media mentions. There has been hardcore fans that have been shipping you with Leigh for years. When she got engaged you couldn't hang out with her in public for a year because they were convinced it was to you, Matt didn't want to be put in the spotlight. So you couldn't show them the truth. Leigh doesn't like the attention either, but she also didn't want to stop having a normal friendship with you. She dealt with it in her own way.

You shut your phone off for the moment to check in on your mom and you ask her how she's holding up. "I'm… okay today. I've made time in my schedule to go to those support groups that you suggested. Not sure I've found one that I'm comfortable with yet but they have been helpful. I'm so happy that I get to see you! But I'm a little upset because that means production has stopped right?" You nod with a slight frown and take another swig from the bottle. "I'm really holding up as well as a mother that lost her first born son could be… I heard that you have been checking in on Mrs. Greer too. You're so good, I don't know who raised you right." You chuckle because for years you've joked with her that you're really her parent and that you've been raising yourself since she divorced your dad.

"I'm glad to hear that the two of you have been talking," you state with a sad smile as you prepare yourself for what you're going to say next. "I'm going to need you two to take care of each other because I'm going off radar for a bit. I need to work through my pain and the only reason I haven't yet is because—"

"You've been taking care of everyone else. It's okay, I get it. I'm your mother, I've been waiting for you to blow up and I'm impressed that you've held out this long. Especially, considering how right you must've felt when you found out."

You drink again and try to fight the glare you want to give her by clenching your jaw. "It wasn't a good feeling," you mutter. Your mom nods and wipes her tears as memories of that night flood through her mind. You finish the bottle and set it on the coffee table before moving over to sit beside her and hold her as she cries. During those awful years that he battled cancer, you found yourself holding your mom a whole lot more than you were being held. Your therapist said that created a little resentment in you towards your mom but you denied the observation. It was just who you were, comforting people always made you feel fulfilled. Sure it was disappointing when people barely returned the favor but you did your best not to expect much from anyone.

The rest of the day was spent reminiscing with her. At some point she joined you in drinking and even let you upgrade to the hard liquor you were looking for, she stuck to a glass of wine and paced herself. Something you weren't really in the mood for doing. When her husband arrived home from work you realized that your phone had been off for hours so you turned it back on and shook your head at the amount of notifications that immediately blew up your phone. You rolled your eyes as you finished your glass and reached for the bottle to pour yourself another but your mom was quick to cut you off. "You're no fun," you slurred with a glare.

"Neither are you when you drink emotionally, Y/n," she retorted. You muttered a disagreement and reached for the bottle in her hand and she stood up from her seat shaking her head. "I'm going to get you some water. Stay put," she says with an authority that makes you clench your jaw in irritation. That's when half of your screen gets covered by Leigh's face, her contact name Lollipop sitting underneath her picture. A smile grows comfortably onto your face. "Hello," you say as normally as possible.

"Hey you, are you still coming over?"

You moved the phone away from your face as you tried not to show how adorable you found the way she greeted you. "Yeah, I'll be there in… thirty minutes? Maybe forty. Is that okay?" Again you do your best to appear sober over the phone so you don't have to hear her disapproval. Or get uninvited. Hoping the walk there would sober you up on the way. But you ignored the fact that you have been drinking the entire day, sure you took breaks but they never lasted more than an hour. So that was an unrealistic expectation.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll reheat the plate I made for you… unless you've had dinner already."

"No, um, I um, I haven't eaten much today. Thank you," you grab your keys and leave the house. "I'll be there soon, bye." You hang up before she has a chance to keep you on the phone any longer. As you walk the familiar path to Leigh's house you are thrown into a state full of memories of all of the times you used to walk to her house in the past. Of all of the times you met halfway at the park.

The memories of the park weren't just limited to the two of you. Jules would be there and so would Drew and Lexi, even Jade. When your mind lands on the name you stop for a second to stare at the park and allow yourself to think about Jade for a moment. About the first time she made you try pot with her other friends. The cute little moments the two of you had together. The accusations, the arguments, the breakups… Things got so complicated so fast with her and that relationship is what solidified your reasons to avoid going down that road with Leigh. Because you started out as friends and then the two of you fell in love the way that teenagers do. It was consuming and messy. It was even doomed from the start.

Jade. You haven't let yourself think about her in a few years. You wonder for a moment if she has reached out to Leigh about Matt. Surely she knows, she did attend the wedding after all. That was the last time you saw her and you remember being on your best behavior until Matt and Danny bullied you into sharing a joint with them. Everything else from that night is a blur. The fact is, you were a bad emotional drinker, but you were even worse when crossfaded. You shake your head away from your mistakes and continue walking, there was no time to think about her.

The sun has gone completely down by the time you reach the Shaw home and you knock on the door lazily. Jules answers with a confused expression, "I didn't hear your car pull up."

You cover your burp with your fist and grin at her in greeting. "I walked." Jules closed her eyes as she smelled the alcohol on your breath and stepped back.

"Really, Y/n?" She glared at you before she stormed through the house leaving the door open.

Leigh walks over with similar confused features and sees you at the door, "What's up with her?"

You give an exaggerated shrug, "I don't know! I just got here!" You stepped past the threshold and Leigh looked at you with concern.

"I can smell you from here, Y/n. What the hell were you doing? Did you drive here like this?" She tries to move past you to see if your car was in the driveway but you catch her in your arms and hold her tightly. 

"I missed you, I'm so sorry I wasn't around a lot more before. It was just too hard," you say with tears coming to your eyes.

Leigh frowns, "You were focusing on your career. It's okay, you're here now. That's what matters. I didn't need you then, but I definitely do now."

At her comforting tone you let go of her slightly annoyed that she didn't get it. The real reason you stayed away was because it was hard to see her happy with someone that wasn't you and knowing that you would never give her that kind of happiness. Well, that was part of the real reason. You pout as you move around the house more, "You don't get it. I could have been around more but I wasn't and now they're gone and it's all my fault." Leigh furrows her brows and shuts the door.

"Y/n they both died in accidents. No one could've saved them. There is nothing you could have done to change that. Get that thought out of your head, it wasn't your fault."

"Isn't it though? I paid for the bike! He was going to get some cheap little thing and I insisted that he let me buy him some better. And I listened when he said he didn't need lessons. I listened when I should have pushed him to be safer. Then he got the license so I figured he didn't need it. But he did, Leigh. And I should have made him get them," you turn around and point your index finger around as you speak. "It's my fault. I killed my brother!"

"Y/n that's ridiculous! He was a grown adult capable of making his own decisions. You weren't his parent, you were his younger sibling—"

"That doesn't matter, I was still supposed to protect him! Now he's gone!" You cried out.

"Okay, calm down. I'm right here, you don't need to shout." Leigh says in a soft tone that breaks your heart. Her soft hands hold your face to help you calm down. Looking into her enchanting green eyes, guilt slithers through your veins.

"I ignored Matt's call," you admit in a broken voice. "He called me that day and I didn't pick up the phone because it was fucking early in the morning. But I should have picked up. Maybe I could have saved him. The message he left…" You stop yourself from saying anymore when you look at her face. Leigh steps back from you.

"He—You have his last words?" She says in a lost tone. Her gaze was erratic as her mind began to spin. Then her eyes land on you and they have an angry glare. "I asked you weeks ago when I looked through his phone and you lied to me? On my birthday?!" Her voice bites into the shame you already felt.

"I didn't want you to hear the things he said. They weren't pretty, Leigh! He didn't give some grand goodbye! He just told me about his comic book and how he didn't feel fulfilled and that nothing made him happy anymore not even…" you look away from her and wipe your tears. "He talked about that being his only option. That he couldn't leave but he couldn't stay. That—"

"I want to hear it," she cuts you off. You shake your head in protest. There were things in that message that you didn't want her to hear. Things about how you felt about Leigh. She was already freaking out about some message Danny left. You weren't going to add yourself in the mix of all of that.

"You can't, my phone died. There were paparazzi following us today, the photos all over the place so they blew up my phone." You quickly lie. She can't know that he told you to keep her from hearing it. But the lie doesn't help the situation. Leigh only grows more frustrated and demands that you charge the device. "I left my charger in my car!" You shout back not liking the volume of her voice. She asks you where your car is and you shrug, not feeling like telling her. No matter what, she could never hear that message. Not when it could ruin the two of you.

"Why can't I hear it? He was my husband! I have every right to listen to his last words! I have to know if it was an accident or a choice! I get to know! Just let me fucking listen to it!" She was in your face again only this time she was gripping your shirt and had desperation in her eyes.

You have to look away otherwise you would give in the way you gave into everything she had ever asked of you. "No," you choke out. Leigh, being charged with emotions, slaps you across the face. You're not even shocked, it made sense.

"Get out!" Her voice bites as she points to the front door. "Get out of my house! Get out, get out, get out!!" She shouts as you make your way out of the house. The door slams behind you and you sigh as you walk back to the park and find your way into one of the empty tunnels. You were far too tired to walk all the way back to your mom's house and there was nowhere else for you to go. As you settled in for the night you opened your phone and played the message. Crying the entire time.

Chapter 5

Taglist: @madamevirgo

[optimistic-dinosaur-nacho]

As a taller girlie, I’m wondering... how would Chris and his characters react to their S/O being taller than them?

I honestly have nothing to do so how bout I treat you guys for a comeback. Its a little short just for a small comeback but if you want me to do a part two for this let me know :) Happy Friday yall.

Requests closed for now until I catch up on people's past requests if they still want them.

Characters Listed: Chris Evans, Steve Rogers, Ransom Drysdale, Andy Barber, Johnny Storm, Jake Jensen

How Chris' Characters Would React To A Tall S/O

Chris Evans

Chris doesn't mind a tall s/o, he might make jokes here and there, you make fun of him. You and Hemsworth are both tall so it's fun when you're in the same rook together. Chris loves when you wear heels though, it makes it more funnier to him on the carpet when his lover is towering over him. If he had a dime every time someone asked, "How does it feel to be the short lover?" He'd be richer than he normally was.

Whether you're taller or not, he still treats you like you're the small spoon. But to be clear, you're definitely not Andre the Giant to him. You're not Shaq to him either, you're the love of his life and he will love you no matter what. Honestly, you probably got a lot of comments of being the pick of the relationship since most loves tall women.

.

Steve Rogers

Intimidated the first moment he saw you. It was at a party. Whether you had superpowers or not, he thought you were another supersoldier. "Nah, she's just the front desk receptionist," Tony says. It was a lie, you were in SHIELD as an agent, you actually were Tony Stark's secret bodyguard but also chaperone.

That was also a lie told by Tony. But you were an agent. Steve and Sam were both afraid to step up and ask how the hell you were tall. Thor was even impressed that she managed to be the same height as him and taller than Sif. Thor was fond of you and believed you were a God trying to be an undercover agent.

Years after, Steve asked you out and ever since people never shut up about the height (Tony himself) Natasha was the support but joked every once in a while. Steve always like the height, it was never seen a lot where he saw how strong and confident a tall woman could be. You literally looked like you'd kick ass even if you didn't know hoe to fight. His pre-serum self would be jealous. But he loved you and enjoyed how you looked at him with a smile.

Ransom Drysdale

There's a chance some things can get spicy. Not inna sexual way of course. There's challenges. Ransom doesn't like being downgraded by tall people but when it comes to his s/o. You're in bit of a tough ride. Ransom never knew how the hell he got you, but he thought you were a model at first.

He didn't plan on dating you, until he actually put effort into something more and eventually asked you out. Now he's gotten cocky. When with family, you've become almost as tall as his uncle, Walt. The family never has filters, especially Walt.

There's always going to be one person who picks on you and Ransom's height differences. "Have you grown taller, Y/N?" Walt asks, "Figured you'd stop by now, one day, it's gonna hurt Ransom's ego."

Being taller only made you the center attention but also help for the kids.

.

Andy Barber

Surprising enough, Andy didn't know how he got you and how you got so tall. You just happened to grow faster than him in Law School. Andy doesn't mind having tall wife but Jacob finds that shit cool. There's kids always talking about you with Jacob. Even you became an officer, you'd stop by and scare anyone.

Andy jokes here and there but he loves you no matter what. Sometimes the niegbors gossip on how a tall woman should be with a man taller than her but you didn't give a dang and married someone just a couple inches shorter. Who cares? Tall people are cool.

"How's the weather down there?"

"I'm a lawyer, not a Weather Forecaster."

Johnny Storm

There's two things, Johnny being mentally and physically bigger but in reality, he's neither. With a tall woman, he's shocked to see a tall glass of water (he says) roam in the building with Reed. There's a lot of moments where he's going to flirt almost any chance he gets.

"I know the air is pretty thin up there," Johnny began, he smirk, "Why don't you lay in my bed and catch your breath?"

"Uh... no?"

Rejected? Oh no, he doesn't take that for an answer. He's going to try.

"Do you play basketball? Maybe volleyball?"

"..."

"No?"

Johnny tries again. "You would totally be worth the climb!" Disgust received from you. "You're a tall drink of water. And I'm thirsty!"

"Just ask me out already and stop talking about my height." Johnny didn't need to be told twice as he happily gave you his number.

Jake Jensen

Oh, you two aren't the ones talking about height differences. It's your friends you guys work with. Yeah, Pooch out of the rest was a pain in the ass about your height. But you happened to be the most powerful person in the group.

Jensen loved your height, he liked being the smaller one (secretly). He liked it when people were watching you. Even though you weren't that overly tall than him, he liked it when you placed your hand on his head or shoulder. He likes looking up at you too. There's always a point where he gets on one knee to dramatically request help or anything.

[stylestappen]

still feeling like im living in acid induced psychosis because. max champ lead extension, redbull double podium, the crew on THEE pimpmobile, miss megan coming to support our team, dad™ christian, shaq and max's sheer height difference, MAX'S FIRST US WIN??

[vbee-miya]

[living with her]

✥︎ yelena x gn! reader || m.list

genre: fluff || type: headcanon

warnings: um some suggestive jokes? mild swearing

a/n: yelena brainrot yelena brainrot

➺︎ Listen dating her is one thing BUT living with her?! That's a whole different story.

➺︎ Let's start of with the nights.

➺︎ They're pretty fun, exciting, but for the most part exhausting really.

➺︎ A lot of breathing it's practically breath taking.

➺︎ However they're hot.

➺︎ Because when you sleep your body's core temperature (97.7–99.5 °F); drops a degree or two overnight. However this is merely just a natural response due to a lack of exposure to light and it lets your body know that it's time to rest.

➺︎ So because of this you both would have to equally share blankets.

➺︎ I feel like Yelena would prefer you take the blanket, however she's not stupid so when she says she's not cold. She's not cold.

➺︎ This however can be rebutted because you wouldn't know whether or not she's telling the truth. After all she isn't real.

➺︎ Anyways let's say you both encounter an unfortunate day. And you both decided to argue over the most dull-witted thing.

➺︎ Just be prepared to know your facts.

➺︎ Because Madame Yelena knows her facts and knowledge and will use it to her advantage.

➺︎ However she may twist the facts a bit to be more in her favor so that it supports her claim better.

➺︎ And why wouldn't she? Yelena has immense amount of knowledge.

➺︎ She's your typical ethos and logos arguer/debater. Pathos can fuk off.

➺︎ During the argument, there’s no time to feel emotions so chose your words wisely or she will find a way to backfire your emotional words and statements coming at her with your own words in a more logical way.

➺︎ Not very pogchamp.

➺︎ 0 points for you

➺︎ Yelena reins victory.

➺︎ However arguments with Yelena don’t last long.

➺︎ She’s quick to realize her mistake and she better expect the same from you.

➺︎ If not bye bye

➺︎ PDA

➺︎ She’s just got to have you close to her. And what better way to make sure that happens then having a hand on you.

➺︎ Either on the shoulder, waist, hand, wrist

➺︎ n e c k

➺︎ h a i r

➺︎ She might be a tad bit possessive BUT not really.

➺︎ It’s just when you guys are out in public people stare and she’s like bruh back off wtf.

➺︎ However when you guys aren’t seen together which is actually a lot of the time you both are doing your individual works.

➺︎ She respects your personal space

➺︎ And it shows. She’s confident in the relationship. She doesn’t have to worry about you.

➺︎ Though that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be thinking about you.

➺︎ OKAY YALL KNOW THAT ONE YELENA MANGA PIC? OF HER IN A BLANKET?

➺︎ Yes that. Except you’re sitting in between her legs. Or or if you somehow managed to pull off a Shaq she’s on your lap.

➺︎ Or or DOESNT matter your height but she’ll find a way to your lap. Or yourshoulder and would lay her head there.

➺︎ God I love her

➺︎ t o p

➺︎ She'd wake up earlier than you and cook breakfast for you

➺︎ Then once she does that she'd crawl back to bed if you're still in bed and she’ll shower you with kisses until you wake up.

➺︎ She doesn't seem like the type to give compliments simply because it doesn't come naturally to her.

➺︎ However she's good with words when she's trying to state out a supporting evidence to her claim.

➺︎ Anyways what?

➺︎ Oh yeah -

➺︎ When she shows you with kisses she's good with saying whatever comes to her mind that would deem pleasing to hear for you at least.

➺︎ She's a tease.

[novakspector]

The collective false memory of a “Sinbad Genie Movie Called Shazam,” is a really interesting thing and I am trying to figure it out.

I have read numerous accounts of people claiming to have remembered the movie. I don’t think everyone is lying or making it up, though some likely are (because they’re trolling or because it’s fun to be part of a trending topic). The thing I noticed was that nobody remembers it exactly the same way. Some people remember Sinbad as a genie character who helps out two white kids who are brother and sister, others remember him helping two black kids who are friends. They all remember different color turbans on genie Sinbad. Some of them remember Jonathan Taylor Thomas being in it, and others don’t. Some remember a scene where a bad guy character gets pushed into a swimming pool, and others don’t. They all have different details.

I think people’s brains have combined Kazzam (1996) starring Shaq with Houseguest (1995) starring Sinbad into one memory. They don’t look anything alike aside from both being tall black men, so I don’t think people are genuinely confusing Shaq with Sinbad. They both reached the height of their fame around the same time and they both have unusual names that start with S.

There’s also the fact that Sinbad’s attire in the 1990′s was sort of vaguely genie-like, with the harem pants that were trendy at the time. His name also evokes memories of Sinbad the Sailor, an Arab character who also dressed in attire people associate with genies, like turbans and curly toe shoes.

When you hear the name Sinbad, you think of a guy in a turban and curly toe shoes. When you think of a guy in a turban and curly toe shoes, you think of a genie, because that’s how they are always depicted. There’s very little variation in how male genies are depicted in art and film, as it’s what’s known as a stock character. So the mental association between “Sinbad” and “genies” is there already, without even bringing confusion of Kazzam into it.

So I have some theories about why this happens:

Theory one: Memories of cheesy mid-90′s family comedy movies are stored in the same space in a person’s brain, and some wires get crossed in certain people’s brains to combine Kazzam and Houseguest into one thing. Some people are really adamant that this Shazam movie existed and they saw it, while others don’t remember it at all. I don’t think everyone is lying or making it up. I think some of the really adamant people truly do believe they remember it.

Theory two: It all just blends together after awhile. Family comedies of the time period were pretty formulaic. After awhile our brains decide that the fine details of 1990′s cheesy family comedies aren’t important and the details fade and things blend together.

Most kids see a ton of movies, especially American kids growing up in the mid-1980′s and 1990′s in the US when cable TV was available but internet, smart phones, and social media was not. Movies were more front and center in our entertainment choices and going to a movie theatre used to be a lot cheaper during this era as well. Mandela Effect stories tend to come from Americans who were kids in the 1980′s and 1990′s. Those family comedies in the 1990′s were all fairly similar in story structure and there were so many of them. It’s not hard to believe they would blend together in the mind, especially after many years have passed.

I think it’s interesting that when people have these Mandela Effect memories, it’s usually something they remember “when I was a kid.” Maybe another factor in this is that our brains are still developing when we’re children, and we encounter so much information during that time. Our brains have the difficult job of constantly sifting through mountains of information and deciding what’s worth remembering and what’s not and it doesn’t always get things right.

[summerofthesource]

Following up on an earlier lovely post about Zenos’ height (not my own), I decided to crack out the graph paper to get a better idea of the numbers on this scene.

ONE good thing about Elidibus running around in Zenos’ body is that it gave us a wonderful chance to see what Zenos’ physique looks like under all the armor. (Booty still present and accounted for.) As many suspected, he is not weirdly over-muscular, that was mostly just his armor added to his silhouette.

Basic graph paper math says that, in this cutscene at the least, Zenos stands at about 7′5″. (The same as max male Roegadyn height.) I say in this cutscene, because the game tends to use different scaling/camera angles/high heels on models for dramatic effects. 

(Also, having stood next to Shaq before, I can say that height difference is intimidating on its own. However, I also need more fics with Zenos having to duck to go through smaller doorways because that’s also a thing.)

[photolover82]

Season 4 of The Masked Singer is here! Time to rate some (16 to be specific) costumes...

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fans! Guess what’s back, back, back, back again! I am back back back, to recap The Masked Singer, woohoo! Season 4 is here and premieres on September 23rd, in 9 days from when I am writing this! Last night, they did a little sneak peak Sunday revealing the first clue for all the costumes (and they have finished revealing the costumes after 2 weeks of doing so on socials). 

So, let’s rate some masks and make some initial guesses/perceptions of who I think it could be (this will be more fun so I could document how right or wrong I am from looking at costumes): 

SO INTRODUCING THE SEASON 4 LINE UP OF MASKS *INSERT FANFARE HERE* 

1. Giraffe 🦒

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 9/10 (This is really cute and dapper of a mask I love it, it gives me Hamilton/Shakespeare vibes, I really want it to be a Hamilton actor) 

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Male due to the voice/costume

The costume itself is 8 foot tall so it has to be someone pretty tall, over 6 feet for sure 

1st clue: shares something in common with a giant

As for guesses, I am thinking he’s an actor even tho he is super tall like an athlete, but I don’t really think athletes would wear this kind of costume, but who knows? I’ve been surprised too many times by this show. 

2. Popcorn 🍿

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 10/10 (This is the cutest costume, I think it’s my favorite of them all, I absolutely adore it, I would wear it like how adorable) 

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Female due to the voice/costume

1st clue: "Mirror Mirror” reference and a perfume on a table 

As for guesses, I am thinking she’s Julia Roberts, since she was the evil queen in the movie Mirror Mirror and in a Lancome Perfume Ad but I haven’t heard her sing so I can’t be too sure 

3.  Dragon 🐲

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 8/10 (Pretty sick costume ngl but the head is a bit scary looking, it looks angry yikes)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Male due to the voice/costume

1st clue: look into stocks and bonds to find out identity 

As for guesses, I really really want it to be Jack Black... but I feel like I say that a lot, a girl can only hope, this is legit a perfect show for him. 

4. Snow Owls 🦉

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 10/10 (It is so majestic, and THERE’S 2 OF THEM OMG. A. FREAKING. DUO.) 

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

A pair of one male and one female based on body types and costume differences 

I am assuming either a brother and a sister or a couple

1st clue: they are tied in the talent department 

As for guesses, I am thinking the brother-sister route and with that clue, Derek and Julianne Hough... because they are both talented dancers so tied in the talent department, get it? If you wanna go the couple route, maybe Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively? 

5. Sun 🌞

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 9/10 (This is really cute and pretty, I love it from the neck down... the mask itself is kinda upside down and a bit weird to look at)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Female due to the costume

Something tells me that it’s a legendary singer 

1st clue: shines like a torch even in freezing winter 

As for guesses, I am thinking she has to be a legend, like maybe Jennifer Hudson, Adele, Christina Aguilera, Tina Turner, Janet Jackson, etc. 

6. Mushroom 

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 10/10 (This is really cute, kinda gives me ET meets Super Mario Bros mushroom vibes)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Can’t tell the gender, this one’s confusing

1st clue: has many hats 

As for guesses, I honestly am not sure

7. Jellyfish 🦑

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 9/10 (This is really cute and dapper of a mask I love it, it gives me Hamilton/Shakespeare vibes, I really want it to be a Hamilton actor)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Female due to the costume

1st clue: warm and glowing fur with water

As for guesses, I am thinking she’s probably either a model or a YouTuber idk tho... 

8. Crocodile 🐊

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 8/10 (I like the outfit and sparkles and all but the color is a bit much tbh )

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Maybe a gay male 

1st clue: Tik Tak Toe is important apparently

As for guesses, I am thinking he’s Adam Rippon, because there was announced an olympic athlete and this seems like something he’ll wear.

9. Gremlin

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 10/10 (It’s so cute and fluffy I love it) 

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

I think it’s a guy but I have no clue

1st clue: can thrive when the temperature is 66.5 degrees 

Idk what that means so I am so confused as to who it could be.

10. Squiggly Monster 

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 5/10 (So many eyes and arms it freaks me out)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Probably a tall male, gives me thingamajig’s height vibes

1st clue: known to have many hands to latch on to 

As for guesses, I am thinking he’s an athlete or someone who has a lot of stuff, like a Shaq or something like that

11. Lips 👄

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 6/10 (It’s kinda weird looking idk how to feel) 

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

I think it’s a female but idk ab the rest

1st clue: dishes go deep

I have no idea who she is tbh 

12. Whatchamacallit 

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 4/10 (That one eye freaks me out, it kinda looks like cousin It)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Idk the gender this is so confusing

1st clue: magical start (cards)

As for guesses, I am thinking it’s a magician, most likely a male... I am thinking it’s that guy who hosted Cupcake Wars whose also a magician 

13. Broccoli 🥦

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 6/10 (Meh not a fan, it looks super weird)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Male due to the voice/costume

1st clue: lean, mean machine

As for guesses, I am thinking he’s either an athlete (bc of the deep voice) or a guy who really likes weed, like a Seth Rogen or Snoop Dogg... Seth Rogen is my top guess bc it looks like something from that weird movie Sausage Party that he directed

14. Serpent 🐍

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 8/10 (I feel the same ab this as I did with dragon, kinda cool and wow the animatronics but it looks intimidating)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

I think it’s a female but I have no idea

1st clue: 31118 prescription number

As for guesses, I have no clue... not a single one. 

15. Seahorse 

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 9/10 (I like it a lot, the colors are a little bit much but it’s kinda cool in a way)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Female due to the costume

1st clue: “quiet place” to hide

As for guesses, I am thinking maybe it’s an actress, at first I thought Emily Blunt from the movie “The Quiet Place,” but idk just a hunch 

16. Baby Alien 👽

Mask Rating & Thoughts: 9/10 (It’s a freaking puppet, how crazy and insane)

Initial Guesses/Assumptions/Clues:

Idk who it could be gender wise

1st clue: a 6 in the stars 

As for guesses, I am thinking it's a famous puppeteer like Darci Lynne or Jeff Dunham 

Ok, so that’s it! Starting September 24-25 more or less, I am gonna do these per week! I am so excited! Tell me in the comments your favorite masks (top 4 or 5 maybe)... Mine are Popcorn, Snow Owls, Sun, Gremlin, and Mushroom! Bye guys!! 

[sdpafanblogofsupremefunk]

Season 1, Episode 1: A Different Place

Where better to begin talking about a show than the beginning? Like most shows, Sítio do Picapau Amarelo has a pilot episode.

...Okay, in this case, “pilot episode” is just a fancy way of saying “first episode”. Much like Rick & Morty and DT17, SDPA doesn’t really have a pilot episode that isn’t just the first episode (unless you count Doc and Mharti as R&M’s pilot, which I’d rather not), so to begin the series, we kinda have to jump right into the mess of things.

It’s like A Quiet Place, but not stupid.

As the episode begins, we are introduced to a two men on a horse-drawn cart. The man in the red box is a book salesman who’s a little down on his luck in terms of profits.

A little.

This guy isn’t really given a name, and I don’t want to call him “The Salesman” the whole time because that’s stupid. So I’m going to give him a name. Mr. Simmons will do nicely.

Anyways, Mr. Simmons falls out of the cart when it hits a patch in the road, and when he picks himself up, he sees a quaint little house on a farm, with an old woman knitting on the porch.

Here, we are introduced to the first of our main cast, Dona Benta, a kind elderly lady who owns this little patch of heaven known as the Yellow Woodpecker Farm. Yeah, didn’t take us long to get there, huh?

So Mr. Simmons sees this old woman in the middle of (what he believes to be) nowhere, and decides it’s the perfect opportunity to make a quick buck believing that:

Which, I dunno, man, she seems pretty comfortable just sitting in her rocking chair, knitting. Like, even as an outsider who doesn’t know a lick of what goes on in this farm, I’d say she’s content as she is, but anything to make some cold hard cash, I guess.

Also, I would not ever call this place a desert, even for the sake of exaggeration. There’s grass everywhere, bushes, trees, flowers, the works. If this where anything like a desert, I do not think this woman would be here, to put it simply. But, I digress. And I hydraulic press, but we won’t be seeing that.

So, Mrs. Benta goes inside to call for the kids, and here we meet 3 of our other actors:

Here, we see Pedrinho (or Little Pete, the boy in the blue overalls) and Narizinho (or Lúcia “Little Nose”, the girl in the red dress), cousins and Mrs. Benta’s grandchildren. They’re playing tag, I think, but they’re stopped in their tracks with their Grandma in the way, and-

Hang on, I feel like we’re forgetting something.

Oh, right. I almost forgot Emilia. She’s basically the reason I watch this show, no biggie.

Anyway, she’s in a race with the kids, when they’re blocked by Grandma. Emilia makes the smart move and cuts right under Mrs. Benta. It looks like this:

Another reason I like this show so much, it’s rife with smears, which I feel like any good cartoon should have. Like here, where Emilia friggin’ nyooms right under Mrs. Benta like a comet.

Emilia reaches the finish line at the bookshelf, where we see the Viscount of Sabugosa, a puppet made out of an ear of corn who’s very smart and polite. (His name is a pun, “sabugo” means corncob in Portuguese, and it’s a parody of the Count of Sabugosa, of which there were 9, the first being Vasco Fernandes César de Meneses in 1729- but everybody calls him Viscount and so will I because blah)

In this show, the Viscount is the actual size of an ear of corn, which makes sense, he is, after all, a puppet made out of one. I think it’s really funny that the cartoon is slightly more realistic than the live-action show it’s based on in this regard, because in the 2001 series, for whatever reason, the Viscount towers over everyone:

And he has a sick mustache.

Like, I don’t get it, out of all the characters, you made the guy made out of corn the tallest one in the cast? I get that the technology to make him actually small probably wasn’t all there yet, Grandpa in My Pocket was still 8 years off, but you really couldn’t find a guy that wasn’t the same height as Shaq?

Yeesh, only 2 minutes in and I’m getting sidetracked this often. Well, I guess it’s better than having nothing to talk about.

Anyway, Emilia wins the race, but the other two kids run into her, smooshing her against the bookshelf-

-and pwning her so hard she briefly grows fingers on her hand (and turning it into a left hand apparently, because the thumb is on the wrong side)

Mrs. Benta explains that Emilia and the other mystical beings must hide from the impending salesman.

Oh brother, I was wondering when we’d get to this guy. This is Marquis of Rabicó (Portuguese for Short-tail). Literally the first thing you read about him on the show’s Wikipedia is that he’s fat (which you think would be a given cuz he’s a pig), and his part of the Characters section isn’t much better, stating that he’s a “gluttonous, selfish, cowardly and lazy pig” and most of his episodes involve him getting himself and/or others into trouble by being a gluttonous, selfish, cowardly and lazy pig. He’s only ever onscreen to cause problems, either directly or by proxy. If I were to sum him up in one meme, it would be this:

Now, I don’t hate Rabicó, I’m actually quite indifferent towards him, but he does bring down a lot of the episodes that he’s a major part of. Thankfully, there aren’t too many episodes featuring him in the first 2 seasons, but from what I hear, Season 3 goes ham with that shit (pun intended) and it brings down the quality of the season as a whole, so it’s a good thing that’s as far off from now as it is. I want to enjoy the lack-of-pig while it lasts.

But hey, at least he doesn’t look like this:

Don’t do drugs, kids.

Rant over, Mrs. Benta explains that she wants things to look normal because the Yellow Woodpecker Farm is a very peculiar place, where all kinds of weird and wacky stuff goes on, and if word gets out about it, the place will be filled with tourists wanting to get a peek of the action.

Something that Mrs. Benta probably didn’t consider is that there’s a bigger threat to being exposed than just filthy tourism. That’s right, I’m talking about the GOVERNMENT.

I mean, think about it. How many movies have you seen where the government tries to hunt down an unnatural being? E.T., the Sonic Movie, a third one I can’t think of right now, etc. (Lilo & Stitch does not count) Now, I can’t speak for Brazil’s government compared to the U.S., but I know there’s gotta be a division dedicated to dealing with unnatural things that would no doubt arrest Emilia, Rabicó, Viscount, etc. and run experiments on them. Then again, maybe this cartoon takes place in a world where the government doesn’t even exist. I mean, we never really see any urban settings in the show (aside from a brief mention of “the city” in the finale), so for all I know, the world of Sítio do Picapau Amarelo is run by Vermin Supreme.

Real talk, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not voting for this guy back in 2016.

Initially, Emilia won’t go into her box, but then she gives in and is dragged there by Aunt Nastácia, the housemaid of the farm with a knack for making dolls (so she’s essentially Emilia’s mom). She doesn’t really do much in this episode, but the Fat Bastard does even less, and I still mentioned him.

So Mrs. Benta lets Mr. Simmons into the house and he does this whole spiel about how great the books are, how they can take you to worlds you never imagined, fantasy and action, yadda yadda.

Meanwhile, the kids are off to the side and they’re all like “Well, we met the actual Hercules, get on our level scrub”. And of course, Emilia is watching with them, instead of in her box.

As Simmons keeps on rambling, Emilia is being a little peeping tom, not realizing that one turned head could lead to her being dissected like a high school frog.

Apparently, Emilia thinks she’s a regular Bart Simpson, with shit like spitballs and pulling out the man’s leg hairs. She’s really pushing her luck here, and for little reason. Sure, Simmons called the place boring, but that’s how it’s supposed to be to him.

Of course, Pedrinho and Narizinho are nice enough kids that they bail her out on this one and pretend it was them.

And before Simmons can ask what the hell is going on, Mrs. Benta gives him the money for the books and sends him out the door. And once he’s out...

I’ll give you a hint: it rhymes with go.

Of course, they’re not out of the woods yet, cuz Simmons is getting a little suspicious.

Busted. The truth is revealed, all laid out for Simmons to see. A talking rag-doll? Inconceivable! And yet, there it is.

Come on, Viscount. I would expect you of all people to uphold what Mrs. Benta said and stay hidden. You’re smart enough, you should already know what’s at stake, or at least that something is at stake. I mean, I understand that the cat is already out of the bag, but you’re not helping.

Also, you’re thumb is clipping into your bowtie, you should get that checked out.

Rabicó, I hope you get turned into salami. Not out of spite or anything, but just because I like salami.

Naturally, Simmons believes he’s struck gold and found the ultimate tourist trap. But when Emilia points out that if he tells anyone, he’ll sound like a crazy person-

-he straight up Villager Neutral B’s her,

hails a horse, and books it.

Wow, Viscount. Dick move mangling Mrs. Benta’s glasses like that. And all for an impromptu magnifying glass, which is pointless-

-because we can see the horse tracks perfectly fine without them.

(The Viscount isn’t this much of a jerk in the rest of the series, I swear.)

So, the gang follow the tracks until there are no more, which leads them to a corn store.

Wait, a... corn store? As in, a store that mainly, if not exclusively, sells maize and maize accessories? Compared to vegetables in general, that’s quite a niche market, I can’t possibly imagine finding a success in building an entire business around one type of vegetable. Corn is simply not as versatile as something like chocolate or cheese.

Oh no, wait, it’s just a bar. I guess this cartoon takes place in the middle of Prohibition 2: Return of Jafar, and the whole “corn store” thing is just a set up for a speakeasy. (I mean, you could also argue that it’s a diner, but I’mma go with bar because it’s funnier.)

And I’m guessing Simmons expects the place to put all of the meals on his tab, considering he’s going to get the money later with all the tourism. But then, why doesn’t he just pay with the money he got from selling Mrs. Benta those books? So he pulls Emilia out of his bag to show everyone that he has a talking doll and...

Hm. Probably should have put some air holes in that bag.

Anyway, the gang comes in, and Mrs. Benta asks for the doll back, with Narizinho hamming up her Oscar-worthy performance:

So everybody’s giving Mr. Simmons a mean glare:

Including this gentleman who looks like someone just insulted his favorite MHA character (it’s probably Tsuyu):

So Mr. Simmons desperately tries to convince everyone that the doll indeed does talk, and that she comes from a wacky place, but Aunt Nastácia intervenes and says that it’s just a normal doll.

She just straight up roasts Emilia, who (big surprise) does not take it very well. To the point that she is very visibly angry, which you think the barflies would notice.

I mean, look at that and tell me that you wouldn’t notice anything weird.

But anyways, they get the doll back and we get this cute group hug.

D’awww.

So they leave with Emilia-

as Mr. Simmons is beaten to death offscreen for stealing from a little girl.

As the gang walks home, Viscount bends Ms. Benta’s glasses back to normal. Took you long enough, ya jerk.

Not even close, my dear. This is only the beginning.

Well, that was a very good first episode. It introduces the world and many of the main characters very well. And while there were a few issues I had with it, they’re really just nitpicks that don’t detract from the episode as a whole. Overall, a good effort, 8/10.

So, yeah, that’s the first episode down. Join me next time when we watch episode 2, and meet a very vile villain.

Very vile indeed.

[theangryjuveblog]

get ready for a new ship!

in honour of shaqiri leading us to a victory against utd in the prem for the first time since 13/14, i’m going to bring back one of the most underrated ships of our time, SHAQŽU.

if you didn’t know, these two won the ucl together. samario could never (jk they will this year).

their height difference gives me life. just loOK AT THEM,

and the way mario holds shaq like he’s his small everything. i can’t bREathE.

their hugs were so adorable,, i need someone to hug me like that.

just look at shaq trying to reach for his man’s shoulder. TELL ME THIS IS NOT THE CUTEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN.

+ bonus ; mario beating shaq to death because that’s his special way of showing affection.