#like Literally shut down an interview a few weeks ago for them asking questions he hadn’t agreed to

[raceweek]

alex saying jacques has always been in his corner since day one… sometimes dts is real :’)

jacques in that one dts scene…sexiest thing ever in the history of humanity

[iwadori]

When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.    

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’  

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.  

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.  

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.  

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”  

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

 “Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes  

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”  

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”  

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)  

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.  

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.  

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.  

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.  

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.  

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.  

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.  

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Word count: 10,5 K

Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story.  Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).

Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.

A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!  

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | 

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Spencer's point of view

I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.

I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.

- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.

- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.

- "Do you know her?"

- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."

I was completely flustered.

- "That I can see, do you know her?"

- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.

- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?

- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."

My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.

Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.

- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."

- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.

I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.

We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.

- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.

- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."

Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.

- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.

- "I'd love to."

- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.

- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.

- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."

- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."

She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.

- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.

- "That's great."

That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.

- "Way to go, Romeo."

- "Shut up."

We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.

.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.

Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.

- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.

- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately

- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."

- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.

- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."

- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.

I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.

- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.

- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.

- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"

I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.

.

My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.

Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.

I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.

- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."

I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.

.

- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.

- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.

- "Do you need a ride?"

- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."

- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."

And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.

- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled

- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."

- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.

- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"

- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."

- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.

- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.

- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.

- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.

- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."

- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."

And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.

- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.

- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.

- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."

- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.

I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.

It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.

.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"

- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.

- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."

Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.

- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.

- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"

- "I will, I swear!"

Spencer's point of view

Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.

Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).

- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.

- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"

I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.

- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.

Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.

- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.

- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.

- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling

- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.

- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.

Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.

- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"

- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.

- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."

- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.

- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."

She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.

I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.

- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.

- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled

- "Sorry."

- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.

- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.

I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.

- "I think I'm gonna go home."

- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"

- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.

- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me

- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.

- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."

- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.

- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"

- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.

- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.

- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."

I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.

It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.

- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.

- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.

- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"

- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.

- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.

- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.

- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."

- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask

- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."

- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."

- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"

- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation

- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.

- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.

- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."

.

- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.

- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.

- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.

- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.

- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."

- "Thank you."

I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.

- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."

She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile

- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."

- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."

If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.

- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"

- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.

- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered

- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.

- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"

- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.

- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."

- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"

- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."

I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.

- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"

- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive

- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"

- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.

- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.

- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."

I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.

- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.

- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"

We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.

.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.

- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"

- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"

- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"

- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"

- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."

- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.

I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.

- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."

I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.

- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.

- "Thank you."

- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.

- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.

- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.

- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.

- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."

- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"

- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.

- "You do not do that."

- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.

- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."

- "People would always say it's annoying."

- "Why would they say that?"

- "Because... I know they do."

- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."

Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.

- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."

The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.

- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.

After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.

- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"

I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.

- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"

- "Yeah! See ya!"

- "Drive safe!"

- "I will!"

I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.

I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.

Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.

I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.

Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.

- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.

- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.

Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.

- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"

Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.

- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.

- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."

- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.

- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."

- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"

- "Really?"

- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"

And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.

- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"

- "I couldn't feel anything at first"

- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"

- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.

- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.

- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him

- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.

- "And the second?"

- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"

Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.

- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.

- "I'm here to talk if you want to"

It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.

- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.

- "Great plan."

And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.

- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.

- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.

- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."

And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.

.

Spencer's point of you

Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.

Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.

Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.

But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.

- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."

- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board

- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"

- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"

- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.

- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"

- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.

- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."

I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.

- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"

I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?

- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.

- "Just one, and no coffee"

- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.

For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.

For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."

- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.

- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.

- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.

- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.

- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.

- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"

- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."

- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"

I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.

- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."

I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.

- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.

- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."

JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.

For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.

- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"

- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.

- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.

- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"

- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.

- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."

- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"

- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"

I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.

- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.

- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"

- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"

That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.

She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.

- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question

- "Always"

- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.

- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"

- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"

- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me

- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.

- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"

- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"

She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.

- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"

I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.

- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips

- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.

- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"

- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.

- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.

- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"

- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"

- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.

- "I'm waiting"

- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.

- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."

- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"

- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"

Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.

- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"

- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."

- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.

- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"

- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask

- "Yes, Reid, why?"

- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.

- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."

She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.

- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"

- "Some on us more than other"

- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"

- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"

I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.

- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"

- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question

- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"

- "Did you go through the same?"

- "Yes, I did"

- "And how did you overcome it?"

- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.

- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"

- "That's what's scares me too"

- "What?"

- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."

When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.

- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.

- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.

- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.

I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.

- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.

- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"

- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"

- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."

- "Good night, (Y/N)."

----------

Series Masterlist

Chapter two

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[wizkiddx]

Please I request you and Tom Holland being the sort of ‘it/star couple’ and being really popular in the media and fans

Req if you want?🤪 + I’d love any feedback/tips <3

Sorry I changed this a bit just cos tom rn seems the opposite of being that public and I have 0 imagination, hope this is still okay!

Summary: Tomhollandxactress!reader - as the two of you go on your first public and official event, Tom cant help but show everyone how enamoured he is by you

The fallout of from yesterdays ceremony was definitely not what either of you had expected. Having stirred from sleep before your boyfriend, naturally you’d killed the morning flicking through your phone. As much as you normally tried to avoid the tabloids and twitter, especially after you released your relationship to the world, having had a bunch of your friends actually sent you links to them - it would be rude not to have a quick scan. Especially because, for once, they seemed to be positive.

You see, it had always been the little things with Tom. Even when you had just been getting to know him, it was the small and unconscious actions that even he didn’t know he did. You always said Toms love language was physical - as much as he wanted to say that it was ‘words if affirmation’ or something else corny he’d read on buzzfeed (you’d got him addicted and now lived to regret it). That didn’t mean that he had to be clinging on to you, or excessive PDA or anything of the sort. It was more subtle which somehow made them more special to you. Now though, the whole world seemed to have picked up on it too.

This was the first event the two of you had actually attended together. As in together together. As in not hiding. You had been nominated for best actress; whilst Tom’s newest movie was up for a few accolades too - so fair to say it was a big night for Hollywoods newest couple. Naturally since your instagram post 3 weeks ago, the world was obsessed with you both. All the way in the car, you leg had actually been trembling with nerves - bouncing up and down in your silhettohe heels. In attempt to calm you, Tom bumped his knee against yours before reaching over to actually squeeze your thigh. 

“It’ll be fine you know?” You sighed shakily, turning your head to face Tom’s soft features. Both of you were dressed to the nines, you were in a glittery red chain-look scrappy dress; Tom in an all black suit, except the little pocket square of satin deep red - embellished with a single chain that came from your dress. Hopefully not too cliche but now the both of you were done with hiding - Tom seemed to want to just a little something. You hummed in response, searching the flicks of warm brown in his eyes with yours. 

“It’s just new and we haven’t encountered all the questions yet so I don’t know how to answer them and -”

“We’ll do them together and-and you can say no Y/n/n… you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to.” Taking a long exhale, you hesitantly nodded, allowing a small smile to grow on your face. It was terrifying but you had this doting and angelic boy by your side. You’d get through any tough questions.

However it wasn’t actually the answers you spoke that evening that stuck in the public mind. 

When you’d first pulled up to the carpet, Tom instantly hopped out and rounded the car door to get to your side just as you swung your legs out toe doorway. After waving quickly at the screaming crowd, he looked down and offered up his hand to you - which you gladly accepted. The LA weather was beautiful, and the evening was just rolling into golden hour- the suns brilliant yellow-orange light bathing your body as you climbed out the car. 

The screaming used to be terrifying and although today was a little more nerve wracking than normal, you still could be nothing but appreciative for all these people showing up. In your head it was so bizarre that anyone would spend so much time and effort to meet you - really you were just normal person, and pretty boring one at that. Yet here you were in the most bizarre situation, there was nothing else to do but smile and wave. 

Just like that you went into the ‘celebrity mode’. The pair of you worked your way down the sides, smiling warmly for selfies and signing various posters and memorabilia. Really there was nothing to worry about, everyone there was nothing but lovely -  many fan girls squealing about how amazing you looked. Tom kept himself close by, occasionally hovering his hand against the small of your back just to reassure you he was there. 

Eventually you worked up to the press line, all of them calling your names with mics outstretched. The two of you approached the first in a long line, Tom taking the moment to just hook his pinky with yours (thinking no one else would notice) because this was clearly the more threatening part of the evening and he just knew you were feeling the anxieties all over again. 

“Tom and Y/n!!! Wow how are you guys doing?” Hence began the start of overenthusiastic small talk from the blonde interviewer. 

“I mean first I gotta ask you Tom…” She drew out the words, increasing the suspense somewhat, making Tom wiggle his brows “How insane does your girl look tonight?” 

“Oh well” Tom chuckled whilst you tried to shake off the embarrassment. He looked you up and down with the biggest smirk on his face. “It’s fair to say my woman looks absolutely breathtaking. She came out the room and I did a little excited dance before we left.” The interviewer laughed and you bumped into his side, rolling your eyes in a joking fashion- though to be fair it was completely true. The interviewer then asked you a couple questions that were a bit more serious, relating to the darker material of work you were nominated for. During it a random gust of wind flew down the carpet, shocking everyone a little - none more so that the minimal pins in the top of your hair, which did little to restrict its movement and instead was flying allover the place. Squealing a little, your trial of though momentarily broken, both yours and Tom’s hands went to pull the long locks back down into place. You thought nothing of it, Tom had developed this weird thing about wanting to do you hair weeks ago - but you weren’t to complain. Constantly during movie nights, he’s be running his fingers through your strands of hair; or even after a shower he’d learn to plait it whilst you did your skincare routine. Whispering a little thanks to him, Tom then reached down to squeeze your hand as the attention was turned back to yet another interview. 

The first article you clicked on was one that your best mate had texted you the link of. On opening it up, the title already made you scoff a little ‘Tom Holland single handedly restoring all hopes that men aren’t always trash’. What followed was 4 points. 

You ever struggled to get out a car in heels? Get yourself a Spiderman to help you up

Hand holding too much PDA? How about a pinky grip?

Oh and he’s trained himself to become a hairdresser when the wind picks up….

Accompanying each subheading was photos of each moment that as it had happened yesterday evening. Unable to help yourself, you kept looking between your phone screen and Tom - who was still fast asleep, his arm wrapped protectively round your middle.  The hair that had been so securely gelled back yesterday evening, now was falling over the front of his forehead and the sight was enough to give you that feeling in the centre of your chest. The dropping feeling as if you were jumping off the edge of a cliff - the adrenalin rush and heart in mouth moment. It had been 18 months you and Tom had been like this and he still gave you the most intense flutters - even if he was snoring. 

Managing to tear your eyes away from him, you scrolled to the last point of the article.

      4.  And yes we know this is cliche… but we swear we have never seen ‘heart eyes’ in reality more that this.

And there was a photo of you, probably chatting pure shit to the interviewer, paying absolutely no attention to a particular pair of brown eyes on you. It was the way the outer corner of his eyes dropped a little to normal position; the way the corner of his lips were turned up just enough to show the slight dimples on his cheeks. Tom’s face had literally been the definition of uwu and you could not suppress the teenage girl like giggle that burst out your chest. That was enough to rouse Tom with a heavy groan, as he pulled himself flush against your side releasing a deep breath.

“Mhmmm… you laughin at me?” He slurred, eyes still shut against your stomach as you stared to card your fingers through his curls. 

“Actually… I might just be” Smirking down at him, Tom yanked his his neck up, squinting at you with a scowl and barely open eyes. “You look so soft” laughing at his expression, you brought your hand out of his curls to smooth over his frown lines.

“ Don’t try and distract me… what you laughing at?” Still pouting, of course, the boy had never been a morning person

“Just… I think you’ve accidentally made us the new Hollywood ‘it’ couple.”

[parkers-gal]

the late late show T.H.

wc: 1.4k (fluff)

ariana grande!reader and tom on the late late show for spill your guts or fill your guts

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Y/N said, a grimacing smile on her face as she sat down.

The cameras weren't rolling yet, so her & Tom's microphones were still getting set up and clipped on.

Y/N's Zach Sang radio interview had quite literally blown up all over the internet. Though it had only been released about a week ago, it already had 30 million views, and thousands of comments. No doubt, tonight's live Late Late Show would have tons of viewers. 

Tom grinned at her, slightly mischievous. "It'll be fun, love." 

"That's what they always say," she replied. 

Before Tom could say anything else, the producer was counting down and crew members were shushing the crowd as a red light blinked on and the show began. 

"Hi, I'm Tom Holland," he introduced himself, looking directly at the camera. "And this my wife, Y/N Holland-"

"I hyphenated," she cut in.

Tom looked at her and chuckled before continuing, "and this is Spill Your Guts or Fill your Guts." 

"Explain to the world the misery we have to go through," Y/N commented, making brief eye contact with Tom before breathing out a laugh.

"Right," he laughed. "So, one of us asks the other a question from the cards and you have to answer truthfully or-" he looked down at the food. "Eat whichever food the person has picked for them." 

"Alright," Y/N said. "Let's see what we got then, shall we?" 

" 'Course darlin'." 

Y/N blushed before spinning the table to a random dish. "We have salmon smoothie," she spoke with a grimace. "And a thousand year old eggnog." 

Tom made a 'yuck' sound, and the audience laughed at them. "Here's bird saliva," Tom said. 

"And bull penis." 

"Ah, the bull penis," Tom said.

"Oh shut your trap," Y/N laughed. "And we have bug trifle." 

"Jellyfish," Tom said. "That shouldn't be too bad, right?" he asked.

"Guess you'll find out," Y/N laughed at him.

"You wouldn't dare," he challenged.

"Watch me."

Both of them laughed before continuing. 

"Giant water scorpion," Y/N said with another grimace. "Cow blood and-" she playfully gagged. "And pork tongue jelly," she finished. 

"And lastly, we have cod sperm," Tom grinned. 

"Oh god." 

"Let's start then!" he said, smiling. His accent was thick, and it seemed as though he didn't even bother trying to tame his hair. 

Y/N, on the other hand, was wearing one of Tom's sweaters. It was oversized on her, and colored beige. Her hair was in a low ponytail and her white acrylic nails showed slightly out of her sweater paws. She had butterfly clips in her hair and her feet were fitted with thick, white Filas. 

"I suppose so," she said, sounding like a kid that had just been denied some ice cream. 

"Should I go first or you?"

"Uh, me." 

Tom picked up a card and tried to suppress a laugh. "Okay, let's go with... a thousand year old eggnog." 

"Ew, Thomas. What the fuck, it smells so-" she gagged playfully again. "Ugh, I'm gonna get you back."

"You haven't even heard the question yet!" he laughed, his eye crinkles growing. 

"It's due to be bad though!" She defended, laughing with him. "C'mon, Tommy. I wanna get this," she sniffed the eggnog, "over with." 

"Okay," he paused to laugh after rereading the card. "You have previously stated that track seven, or 'make up,' of your upcoming album is inspired by, co-written, and about me." 

"Correct." 

"What is the song about? .. and give us one lyric or line." 

"Oh god," Y/N covered her face with her hands. "I am not doing this." 

"It's the question or the eggnog, baby. Though you might need a mint after you drink that," he laughed. 

"Uhm," Y/N glanced around, taking another whiff of the eggnog before setting it down on it's tray. "Make up is about... int-imacy after an argument," she stuttered out.

Tom was laughing now, a blush present on his cheeks at her confession. "Alright, the lyric now." 

"Uhm... do I sing it or just.. s-say it?" 

"Saying it's kinda awkward, lovie." 

"Okay," she dragged out her reply. "Bring you to the bed where we can really make it right, sorry-in-a-box so when it pops, surprise, surprise," Y/N sang.

The audience responded immediately, the lyrics clear with their meaning. The couple was blushing intensely, Y/N almost regretting the snippet she just released. When she made eye contact with Tom again, he lip synced 'it'll be okay. I love you,' and she nodded her head and picked up a card. 

"Okay, I'll give you..." she spoke after a few moments. "The bull penis." 

Tom's jaw dropped open in surprise. "I think we should save that for you, darling." 

"Thomas!" Y/N gasped. "Shut the fuck up, or so help me-" 

His laugh interrupted her, and he blew her a kiss. She rolled her eyes playfully before asking the question from the card. 

"Have you ever.." Y/N laughed. "Gotten off to one of my songs?" 

Tom's jaw went slack as his eyes widened. He glanced towards the audience, then back to his wife, in complete disbelief. "I do not want to answer that!" he choked out. 

Y/N laughed at him, "It's just a yes or no question, Tommy." 

"Easy for you to say!" 

Tom glanced towards the audience one last time before taking the bull penis in one bite. The true disgust on his face as he chewed made Y/N laugh harder than ever, the crowd joining her. 

"I cannot believe you just did that!" she said, holding her stomach while laughing. She wiped her eyes, and Tom turned to spit the food out into his bucket, before gulping down some water and playfully gagging, a shutter running through his body. 

"Next question,"  he said. Picking up a card, he glanced to foods displayed in front of him, before deciding which Y/N would eat. "I'll give you... bug trifle."

"Tommyyyy," Y/N whined. 

He laughed before reading the question. "Out of all my movies, which ones the worst?"

A chorus of "oo's" went around the audience as Y/N's jaw dropped. She looked down at the food before glancing to the audience for a split second, making brief eye contact with Tom before taking a bite out of the food. Everybody gasped, her lack of words making it all the more dramatic. When she finished chewing, drinking some water, she picked up the next card and spun the table.

"Next question-" 

"Y/N!"

"What?" 

"You just- y-you- you just ate that!" 

"Yeah?" she asked. "I wasn't gonna answer that question."

Tom's face softened at her, a small smile forming as fast as the blush on his cheeks. 

"Okay, I'll give you... codsperm." 

"Again, we should probably save that for you," he giggled mischievously. 

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes before asking the question. "Which of my albums do you hate the most? And... why?" She asked the question rather slowly, hesitant to see how he'd respond. She most definitely had better works than some, but she loved everything she put out into the music industry, and she only hoped Tom felt the same. 

"Uhm-" Tom said, glancing between his wife and the food in front of him for a good minute. 

Y/N squinted her eyes shut, afraid of his response, if there was one coming. Tom could sense her discomfort, not only in the question but how he would answer, so he reached across the table to hold her hand, before using his other to eat the dish sitting in front of him. Putting the fork down, his face showed disgust once again, but Y/N was watching him now, a blush on her cheeks too, and a very grateful smile adorned on her face. 

After a considerable amount of time of Tom chewing, Y/N burst. "Just spit it out!" 

"Well," Tom said dramatically. "He picked up his bucket before turning to the audience, "Spit or swallow?" 

Everyone laughed, including Y/N, and Tom spit it out into the bucket before drinking some water. 

"That was Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts! I'm Tom Holland, and this is Y/N Holland, and we'll be right back!" He finished. 

The red light went off, and a crew member from backstage handed both celebrities a packet of mints. Y/N went to hug Tom, wrapping her arms around his neck as his securely wrapped around her waist. 

"Love you." 

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Canary, Part 5

First

Previous

Tim tipped his head to the side as he considered the woman in front of him.

She had a slightly nervous smile as she pulled one of her earbuds out of her ears. “Hi.”

Her eyes flicked past him and, after quickly glancing back to make sure no one was about to attack him, he realized she was feeling cornered.

… probably because she was currently being cornered.

He hesitantly took a few steps to the side until he could lean against the wall. “I’m not here to hurt you or anything, I just want to talk,” he promised.

Her hand slipped out of her pocket. He was willing to bet that she had some kind of weapon in there.

Which was good, honestly. Gotham was a dangerous place for newcomers like her.

“... so, what’re you here for?” She asked when he didn’t say anything for a while.

He bit his lip as he considered her.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, 27.

The first time they’d spotted her following them around, they’d assumed she was just another alias of Canary… but the fourteen aliases they had found for Canary so far had always had one thing in common: despite how far back it may have gone or how many connections she may have had, there was never anyone alive to corroborate her story.

She would have definitely done that this time since there was a 100% chance that the bats would notice her. Canary would have made sure that, no matter what, they couldn’t pop on over to anyone’s house and ask about her.

But Marinette had two parents. They were back in Paris, of course, but they still existed. Babs had spotted them walking to the grocery store just yesterday. They had a consistent call history with them dating back years.

He had entertained the idea that they could be paid actors… but Canary worked alone. She had informants and sponsors, sure, but partners? No. It had been nine years, if she was going to start working with people she probably would have done that already.

Marinette checked out.

… or, at least, she checked out in all ways but two.

“How did you get here?” Asked Tim.

Marinette frowned a little. “... plane?”

He shook his head. “We have footage of you at Roissy Airport, but you never arrived in Gotham.”

Her skin paled. “Must be a glitch.”

Okay. That’s definitely not suspicious at all, no way.

He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think so, no.”

“Maybe you missed me.”

“With our facial recognition scanners? And three people checking it over?”

Her hand was back in her pocket and her eyes were flicking to the exit nervously.

“I’m not going to deport you or anything,” he added quickly. “Lots of people here aren’t documented and that’s totally fine, the immigration system is totally messed up… I’ll shut up about that now, that’s not helping... I just… want to know. Curious.”

“Paranoid,” she corrected with a hesitant grin.

“... cautious,” he said after a few seconds.

“Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.”

“It’s much nicer than paranoid, that’s for sure,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

She rolled her eyes and he smiled as some of the tension in her shoulders disappeared.

“The horse miraculous,” she said after a few seconds. “That’s how I got here.”

He sighed internally. Metas in Gotham. Not good. There was a reason that rule was in place. If metas -- even good ones -- started coming then there was nothing stopping the huge, otherworldly threats from following them over. They’d stick with their overdramatic fucks that need therapy, thanks, their gadgets didn’t exactly hold up against literal gods.

And then Marinette giggled. “You don’t need to look so scared. The weird old guy who holds onto all the miraculous… he doesn’t really use them, he just keeps them locked in a weird box thing. I just…” She shrugged. “I had something on him and he was more than happy to get rid of me.”

… well, that’s a little concerning, thought Tim.

Not exactly unexpected, though. She’d very publicly gotten a restraining order by Chat Noir around ten years prior and, while none of the other miraculous holders had come out against her, many of the ones that had revealed themselves as holders had already denounced her. Tim wouldn’t have been surprised if she had stalked more of them -- hell, she was stalking him and his family, clearly she hadn’t limited herself to Chat Noir.

But this raised his second question: “Why now?”

She cringed. “Well, I’d thought about moving a long time ago. No place in France was going to hire me with the whole ‘stalking one of their beloved superheroes’ thing… but I decided to stay for a while. I didn’t want it to seem like I was running away, y’know?”

He nodded his understanding slowly. That made sense. It wasn’t a decision based on logic, but not all decisions are.

She smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. “Also, I kind of missed having superheroes, to be honest.”

Tim raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t going to correct her use of the word ‘superheroes’ instead of ‘vigilantes’, English was at least her second language and that would be rude, so he went down a different route: “I thought they still had their miraculous. It’d be stupid if they didn’t. Mayura is still out there and all.”

“As far as I know, everyone but Ladybug and Chat Noir gave up their miraculous. Everyone knows Mayura is just Adrien Agreste even if we can’t prove it. Nothing else makes sense,” she said with a shrug.

He bit his lip. “I thought that the secretary disappeared that day, though. Wasn’t it her?”

“Nathalie Sancoeur? I heard she moved to America,” Marinette said with a shrug. “But America hasn’t had any attacks, so no one in Paris thinks it was her. Adrien is probably just waiting until the miraculous holders drop their guards.”

He nodded slowly. He didn’t realize he was going to be gossiping and discussing conspiracy theories with a person who stalked heroes but, he had to admit, it was kind of fun. Reminded him of the good old days when he was just a kid who followed the bats around for fun.

… but that wasn’t how things were anymore. He had responsibilities now. Which he was currently not doing. Oops.

“I should get back to work.”

“I should get back to watching you work,” she half-joked.

He hesitated. “Is there any way I can convince you not to do that? Gotham isn’t Paris, it’s dangerous here.”

She grinned. “I stalked a guy who had a literal god at his beck and call. I can handle a few odd goons,” she said.

He bit his lip but nodded. “Call for help if you ever need it.”

“Fine. Fine.”

He got the distinct feeling that she wasn’t going to but he was going to give her the benefit of the doubt just for now.

He pulled his grapple gun from his belt and hooked it around the rooftop.

“See you later.”

“Well, you will see me later, I’ll --,” she began, only to cut herself off with a gasp: “NO!”

He quickly checked over his shoulder but he didn’t see anything. He turned back to her, questioning look on his face, only to see her devastated expression.

“Cedric died,” she said sadly, pointing at the ear with the earbud still in it.

…?

~

Marinette sat in a coffee shop, sipping at a drink as she worked on her computer.

Tim Drake had five coffee shops that he enjoyed. The tiny tweet she’d sent out a little over a week ago ensured that he wasn’t going to be allowed coffee at his place of work. So, he was likely to go and get coffee somewhere else. She was currently sitting at the one closest to WE.

… it was very expensive. She needed to drink her coffee slower.

She squinted at her resume with a frown.

She was pretty sure it was good enough to get in, but…

Marinette sighed lightly and let her head hit the table. Fuck. She hated this stupid job so much.

She heard the chair across from her scrape against the wooden floors and slowly lifted her head. She squinted at the guy in front of her for a minute.

“Hello,” she said carefully.

The brown-haired man smiled at her.

She glanced him up and down. He was clean in a slimy kind of way. He was too nice. His hair was coiffed perfectly, his suit neatly pressed, his face clean-shaven. People who had the guts to dress like that in Gotham were always the worst of the worst.

“Hi!” he said cheerfully.

She sighed. “You weren’t even going to ask if you could sit here?”

“You’ve been alone for a while. Figured it was safe to assume you didn’t have anyone.”

Cool. Cool cool cool. Her hand slipped to the dagger hidden in her hoodie pocket. She may not know what kind of bad he was, but he was definitely bad news.

“No, actually, I was just waiting for my friend to get off work so they could join me.”

“Oh! I’ll keep you company until they show up!”

Damn. She hated when people called her bluff.

She forced her most pleasant smile to her face. “No thanks. I have work to do, actually.”

“Applying for jobs, right?”

She paled.

“Sorry, but I was curious so I just peeked over your shoulder a little bit. I actually had a couple of openings at my job, and you seem like a good candidate, if you’d like --.”

“No!” She said quickly.

His smile didn’t waver, but his eyes narrowed just a little. “I was just offering you a job.”

“I don’t want to get a job this way. I prefer the formal interview process and everything,” she lied.

“Oh, well, my company is having interviews tomorrow and there should be an open spot around --.”

A hand came to rest on the man’s shoulder.

“Hey, bud, she said no.”

~~~

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne give me a hundred million dollars and ill stop doing crime

BrucieWayne: Done.

TheBetterCanary: i take it back five hundred million

BrucieWayne: Sure.

TheBetterCanary: a billion

BrucieWayne: Alright.

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

~~~~~

Next

Perma taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses

Canary taglist: @jayjayspixiepop @unoriginalmess @miraculousfanfic127 @probably-a-hologram

[fruitcoops]

Omg can you write about coops going live on instagram and answering TONS of fans questions? And just being domestic and cute together in general

I can, yes! This is partially the 450 celebration--to the lovely person who suggested writing a sequel to one of my favorites, please know that I love and appreciate you! Coop credit goes to @lumosinlove

Check out Part 1 here

“Is it working? I think it’s working.” An explosion of hearts covered the screen and Remus’ eyebrows rose. “Yep, definitely working. Hello, Instagram! I’m Remus Lupin, winger for the Lions.”

“And I’m Sirius Black, center and team captain.” Sirius waved at the phone. “We had a great time answering your questions last month and we figured we’d come back to do it again, since there were so many people we couldn’t get around to in those few minutes.”

“I can already see a bunch coming in. Should we start?” Remus asked, turning to him with a small smile.

“You go first.”

“Alright, first question….” He squinted at the screen. “How long have we been together? We’ve been dating for just over a year now, but we’ve known each other for three-ish.”

Sirius snorted when he read the next question. “What do we do in our free time? It’s cute that you think we have free time. Um, we read a lot. Sometimes I’ll play video games with the guys.”

“If we have a free weekend, we’ll go hiking or take a short road trip. Practice takes up four or five hours a day, so we’re very low-key, which I think surprises people.” Remus scrolled down a bit. “What are our favorite foods?”

“Don’t say it.” Sirius said immediately. “Don’t you dare.”

“Fine, fine.” Just as Sirius began to answer, he coughed, “pineapple pizza.”

“No!” Sirius smacked Remus on the arm with a pillow as he laughed. “Menace. My favorite food is pasta, because it’s versatile and I’m not a heathen. All of you who are agreeing with him, stop it right now. I’m very disappointed in your tastebuds. Next question…do either of us cook? We do, yeah.”

Remus gave him a look. “Do you, though?”

“That’s a funny thing to hear coming from the man who said he’d die for one of my grilled cheeses yesterday,” Sirius countered.

“Fair point. Yes, we both cook, but I generally do it more often because I enjoy it.”

Sirius looked back at the camera with sad eyes. “He kicked me out of the kitchen last week.”

“You kept stealing bites of soup!” Remus laughed. “It wasn’t even done, you could have gotten salmonella!”

“You can’t get salmonella from soup,” Sirius scoffed. The comment section went wild. “…apparently you can. Huh.”

“Next question, before we get too off-track. Who is the more dramatic one?” Remus folded his hands and rested his chin on top. “I’m giving you three guesses and the first two don’t count.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “You’re plenty dramatic.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“Moving on! Oooo, this one is for me specifically.” He shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Remus’ waist as he read. “Sirius: does Regulus—you spelled that wrong by the way, there’s only one ‘g’—does Regulus still live with you? If yes, how does that work?”

“I’m telling him someone spelled his name wrong,” Remus said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “He’ll get a kick out of it.”

“He’ll be so pissed,” Sirius agreed. “Nope, Reg moved out a few months ago and now lives with Pascal Dumais, but it was really neat to have him around. He’s still got a room here and it was nice spending so much time with him after we didn’t talk for a while. He’s awful about vacuuming, though.”

“Aw, people think that’s cute.” Remus smiled as he read the responses. “Ohoho, people are getting nosy. What do we argue about the most?”

“I’m not sure, actually. Maybe chores?”

“I was going to say practice time. We’ve gotten into a couple tiffs about watching tape or running drills after we get home.”

“That’s true.” Sirius frowned at the screen. “For those of you who apparently think that’s all one-sided: it’s really not.”

“He came downstairs to get me at ten or eleven at night the other day. We’re both hockey nerds, so it happens from time to time.”

“Are we going to keep doing tiktoks? Oh, for sure, they’re a ton of fun.”

“Absolutely. Where else am I going to get the inspiration to glue things shut just to irritate him?”

Sirius shook his head with a smile. “Diablotin.”

“Nothing like being called a gremlin by your fiancé,” Remus laughed, tapping the screen. “Okay…who’s the best in bed?”

“I’d say we both sleep really well,” Sirius said. “You talk sometimes, which is really funny.”

Remus glanced over. “Do I really?”

“Yep. I think you were grocery shopping the other night. You kept saying orange juice very adamantly.”

“Interesting. I agree, though, we both value sleep.”

“There are too many questions!” Sirius scooted forward and sifted through them. “To jay-mac 2001, we both love kids and might have some in a few years. No, mermaid queen, we don’t really have friends outside of hockey because we don’t have lives outside of hockey—” Remus leaned his forehead on Sirius’ shoulder as he laughed. “—but I’m sure that will change someday. Oh, here’s a fun one: what are our love languages?”

“Our what?”

“Love languages. Like the Buzzfeed quiz Pots made us take last week.” The screen lit up and Sirius looked offended. “Of course we know what Buzzfeed is! We’re 25, you fuckers!”

“I think mine was quality time.”

Sirius pulled Remus’ arm further around his shoulders and leaned into his side with a smile. “It’s physical affection,” he singsonged, making him laugh. “Your turn.”

“Have you finally found your song?” Remus read aloud. “I think so! We did an interview a while back and there was a question about our ‘couple song’, which we didn’t have at the time.”

“That didn’t answer the question, sweetheart.”

“Oh! Shit, sorry. It’s La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf.”

Sirius read the next question and snorted. “This is convenient. Who swears more?”

Remus looked away. “It’s, uh, a tie.”

“That’s such a lie.”

He sighed. “It’s probably me.”

“You taught a literal baby to swear.” Sirius turned back to the camera with a wicked grin. “Harry’s first word was ‘Loops’, but his second was ‘shit’ and there’s an eighty percent chance he learned it from Re.”

“Changing the subject!” Remus cleared his throat, then smiled. “Aw, I like this one. What’s the compliment you get most often from your partner?”

“Does it have to be verbal?”

“Sirius.”

Sirius’ eyes went wide. “Not like that! Oh, fuck, I did not mean that! You always touch my hair, so I figured that was a compliment. Merde.”

Remus shook his head. “We need a supervisor again. Anyways, you talk about my freckles all the time and it’s adorable.”

“You’re adorable.”

“Sap.”

“Yeah.” Sirius kissed his cheek. “What’s the best date I’ve ever been on? We went ice skating at the local rink a few weeks ago and it was so much fun. I had never done that before.”

Remus’ eyebrows rose. “I thought for sure you would say the aquarium.”

“The aqu—oh, right! With the jellyfish arch!”

“Yeah!”

“Now it’s a tie, I can’t decide.”

“That’s fair. From spaceman93: who tops? We actually don’t have a bunk bed, though that would be cool as hell! Do you think Ikea sells them?”

“We should check.”

The screen exploded into activity again and Remus did a double-take. “Yes, we do buy our furniture from Ikea, there’s no need to sound so shocked. This person—I can’t read your username, sorry—wants to know which of us is more cuddly.”

“Definitely me,” Sirius said.

“For sure. I like cuddling people, but only a select few. I mean, I’m assuming you guys saw the Cap cuddles slideshow at our last game.” He laughed when Sirius turned pink. “Why are you embarrassed? It was cute!”

“There’s a hashtag now!” Sirius complained. “I have a reputation.” Remus rolled his eyes fondly as Sirius looked for the next question. “Ha! Do we ever get jealous?”

“Yes, but not for the reasons people might think.”

Sirius laughed quietly. “We went out to a bar for Kasey’s birthday a month or so ago—”

“Oh, please no.”

“—and a young lady was hitting on me, not taking the hint—”

“Jesus.”

“—so Re comes out of nowhere and kisses me full on the mouth in front of everyone.” He snickered and Remus hid his face in his hands. “It was kinda hot, not gonna lie. Really funny looking back, though. Your turn, sweetheart.”

“Who is clumsier? Ooh, we’re both disasters off the ice. I tripped over the carpet about twenty minutes ago.”

“I’ve run into every doorframe in this house at least twice.” Sirius grimaced. “If I could just tape my skates to my feet and always be on ice, that would be much safer.”

Remus cocked his head to the side. “I dunno, it would be hard to sleep in them.”

“I do that all that time.”

“That’s true, you take a nap in the hall at least once a week in full gear.”

“Reverse Edward Scissorhands.” They had to take a moment to stop laughing before Sirius turned back to the phone. “Mon dieu. Alright, what do we have next…when did you know I was ‘the one’? When did you know, mon amour?”

“Breaking out the nicknames, very snazzy,” Remus teased as he rested his chin on his hand. “I think it was just an accumulation of things, and then one day I went ‘oh shit’ and just knew. Sometime around New Year’s, maybe?”

“You only made it two months?” Sirius teased, nudging him lightly.

“Shush, you.” Remus nudged him back. “I knew I wanted to propose when I came home from hanging out with Leo and you were napping with the dog. You had done the dishes and left Avatar on so we could watch it together, and I opened the door and knew that I wanted that moment forever.”

Sirius smile was unbearably soft, and he kissed Remus on the cheek as hearts filled the comments section. “I’ve never seen so many keysmashes in my life,” he laughed when he looked back to it. “Hey, someone addressed one to you specifically.”

“Really?” He leaned forward eagerly. “To Remus, do you feel like part of the team yet? I do, a hundred percent! It helped that I was close with a lot of the guys from being the PT, so those friendships carried over really well. Being a player on the roster has only made that better and it’s the best job in the world.”

“Who has the better smile? We’re going to say each other, so I think we’ll leave that one to the comments—fuck, that was a bad idea, it’s moving too fast for me to read!” Sirius tapped the screen desperately, then gave up and waited for the scrolling to slow down. “Ask each other one question you’ve always wanted to know the answer to.”

“Do you actually want to get your ears pierced?” Remus asked. “You talked about it a while ago but I wasn’t sure if you were kidding.”

Sirius thought for a minute, biting his lip. “Y’know, I might. It was one of those things where it started as a joke and then I kept thinking about it. I’m not sure, hockey’s not the best sport to have things that can catch and tear.” They both winced at the idea. “My turn. What is it about pineapple pizza that you actually enjoy?”

“It annoys you.” Remus laughed as Sirius rolled his eyes. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I honestly don’t know why I like it so much. There’s something about the sweetness that goes so well with the regular pizza taste. Okay, last question for me: how many freckles do I have? Not many right now.”

“So many in the summer,” Sirius said dreamily. “That’s the best part of summertime and the only reason I like Florida. They might have bouncy ice, but it’s worth it to see the freckles pop.”

“Whew, Florida’s getting mad in the comments!” Remus grinned. “Get some real ice, then come talk to us.”

“Final question, then we really have to go. What does your partner look best in?” Sirius drummed his fingers on his knees. “His jersey. Or my jersey. He does own a pair of skinny jeans, though, and that was the closest thing to a religious experience I’ve ever had.”

“They’re comfortable.” Remus shrugged, but he looked rather self-satisfied. “That’s all we have time for, folks, but thanks for joining us!”

“Go Lions!”

[ecto-american]

Humanity

Upon their arrest by the GIW together, Valerie learns something interesting about Phantom and herself that make her question just how human both herself and Phantom are.

note that this isn’t a phic phight thing, just something i wrote literally months ago for Lexx but forgot that i wrote

on FFN and AO3

----------------

They didn't even have the decency to arrest her before Mr. Lancer's class. Being arrested for...well, the Guys in White were never really clear as to why they showed up to Casper High to arrest her. But whatever the reason, that would have been one hell of an excuse as to why she was not just missing, but why she couldn't turn in that book report that she not only didn't do, but hadn't even read a single page of yet. Valerie had an inkling she knew why, but she remained completely silent the entire march out the front doors of the school. She wasn't an idiot after all.

The agent to her left opened the door, and the agent to her right put his hand on her head to duck her into the white SUV. The door closed, and Valerie glanced to see just how tinted the windows were, as well as the police-style framing of the windows and the separation between the driver and passenger as well as the backseat dwellers.

"Oh, I was wondering why we stopped here."

That familiar voice made her jump, and she turned to see Phantom. He was in the exact same predicament. Hands behind his back, leaning against the seat, though she could immediately tell that his handcuffs were much clunkier and glowed. Obviously anti-ghost.

"You!" Valerie hissed. She immediately leaned into the window, lifting her leg up, and she began to kick him repeatedly. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Ow!" Phantom hissed as she got him in the shoulder, and then his rib. She didn't stop, and she didn't miss. "AH! Fuck, stop it! OW!"

"Knock it off!" one of the agents boomed. The sudden, strict tone made Valerie pause. She kicked him one more time, square in the face, before finally stopping.

Phantom made a weird wheezing noise, and she saw him shift to rub his nose on his upper arm and shoulder. He frowned.

"My nose is bleeding," he complained.

"I hope your nose is broken!" Valerie snapped back at him.

Phantom glared at her. He made a weird noise in his throat, and it took Valerie a moment to realize what he was doing. Preparing spit. And indeed, the ghost teen stuck his tongue out, drool instantly dripping, and he leaned in. Valerie instantly leaned away from him.

"Ew! Gross! Get away from me!" she complained.

"Nu-uh!" Phantom replied, his tongue still out as he continued to scoot. He got close enough to open his mouth, and some of his saliva dripped onto her knee.

"Gross, gross, gross!" she shrieked. Valerie kicked him in the side, and Phantom let out a pained wheeze.

"Knock. It. Off," the other agent snapped at them. They had gotten into the driver and passenger's seat, and both were glaring at them.

"She started it!" Phantom accused. The driver frowned at him, obviously not amused. Phantom scooted back to his side of the backseat. Valerie stayed pressed against the window and door. She could hear the drive mutter something about hating kids before turning the vehicle on, and they drove off.

--------------------------

They made the duo sit in the interrogation room for three hours, according to the clock. They had, thankfully, just connected the teenagers to the table via a long chain and handcuffs, so that they could at least be a bit more comfortable, even though Phantom, and for some reason her, were both given anti-ghost bracelets to wear. A box of tissues were also tossed onto the table, and Phantom had spent the first half hour tending to his bloodied nose. He stuffed all the used tissues, grossly, into his pocket, though she suspected why he did that. It had his DNA on it.

Phantom nor her attempted conversation. Neither were stupid. They essentially stared at each other and the walls, their only words were occasional out-loud wondering of when somebody was going to show up to question them already.

Obviously her more pressing question was why the hell they were still together. For some reason, Phantom was with her every step of the way of their weird little field trip. They got escorted in together, processed together, and now were sat at the exact same interrogation table. Why? She had absolutely no idea. Didn't they normally separate people they arrested?

At exactly 6:38 PM, somebody finally opened the door, and she and Phantom sat straight up.

The agent that sat before them was a large man, muscular and tall with big hands and sunglasses that fully blocked any chance of the teens from seeing what he was looking at.

"We know you're both half-ghost."

Valerie's mind instantly went to Vlad. That must have been what he was...she had been debating with herself for weeks now as to what he was. A ghost disguised as a human? A human who had ghost powers?

She pushed those aside to look at Phantom. To her surprise, he was pale. Nearly as white as his hair, with anxiety sweat drops beginning to form. Her interest peaked instantly. Silence hung in the air. The man said nothing, simply keeping his attention intensely on them. Valerie

"That's ridiculous," Valerie finally said something. She nearly added that the entire idea itself was ridiculous too. Well, it kind of was. It was so weird to grasp, but it wasn't really something that she wanted to think too hard about these days, and especially now. There was nothing more that she'd love to do than to throw that manipulative old bastard under the weird half-ghost freak bus. However, not only was it probably not a good idea to start beef with a literal superpowered-villain billionaire...but Dani was still out there.

"Don't lie to me." The man sounded agitated. "Both of your ectoplasmic readings are abnormal."

Ectoplasmic reading? Her? Valerie stared at him as if he had grown a second head.

"I shouldn't have any ectoplasmic reading," she pointed out. "I'm alive. Alive people don't have ectoplasmic readings."

The man opened up his folder, pulling out a few choice pieces of papers to slide her way. Phantom silently watched them, his eyes wide and his face looking utterly blank yet...so fearful. Valerie opted to ignore him for a while, accepting the papers to hold as she read through them.

She was familiar with how to read ectoplasmic readings, charts and monitors by now. Green eyes scanned the data, frowning in confusion as she checked the details, and she could see out of the corner of her eye Phantom leaning in to read too. She adjusted her position so that he couldn't.

This description was definitely her, and...she was giving off ectoplasmic readings. Not really in the same way as a normal ghost; there was something distinctively different about hers that any set of trained eyes could pick up on. But how?

"I don't understand," Valerie spoke slowly. "I'm alive." She put the documents back down on the table. "You can take a swap or slap some ghost goop stuff on me. Hell, prick my finger." Valerie held her palm out to the man. Her anti-ghost bracelet sparkled a bit in the light of the room. At least she now knew why they made her wear the bracelets too. "I'm not dead."

The interviewer stared intently at her hand. He gave a neutral hum of acknowledgement, swooping the papers back up.

"Testing and experiments will be reserved for a later time," he replied. Valerie got instant goosebumps. Testing and experiments? "Maybe a few hours in holding will help you realize why you should just come clean to us."

"Can I get some water first?" Valerie asked. The agent snorted in amusement as he stood up.

"Ghosts don't eat or drink."

She felt numb, and she had no idea how to respond to that. Two more agents came into the room, and they silently took the teenagers further into the building until they reached a door. The third agent opened it, and Phantom and Valerie were ushered inside.

The room almost immediately led into bars, and the first thing Valerie could think of was just how much it looked like jail. Two uncomfortable looking bunk beds on either side, a toilet in the middle, a small sink, and no windows. The light was dim, and the room was cold.

Phantom was pushed in first, and then Valerie, and the bars clunked as they closed. She turned to see the bars begin to glow as the bars were locked.

And there was no goodbyes. The agents were eerily silent as they filed out, and the door was shut behind them. She could hear the faint click as it also locked.

Valerie turned to see Phantom's reaction, and he still looked shaken and pale. She already suspected the answer, but she needed to hear it.

"So...are you?" Valerie asked.

"No!" Phantom's answer was way too quick. "What about you? Don't you hate ghosts?"

"I'm not half ghost!" she snapped back. "I have no clue why they'd think that."

Phantom studied her for a moment. His eyes lit up.

"Your suit!" he declared. "The one Technus gave you. It must make your reading wonky."

The second he reminded her, she felt a cold shiver. Suddenly her heartbeat felt off, and she assumed she was colder than usual because of...ya know. That couldn't be true. It had to be wonky readings. The suit was so nice...so much nicer than the suit that she had made herself. It was so much more powerful, so much nicer, just flat out cooler.

She put her heart over her chest. She still had a heartbeat, right?

"What's your excuse?" she asked. Phantom didn't say anything. He turned his attention to the wall, staring blankly at it.

"...Why would they let us stay trapped in here together?" Phantom changed the subject. Valerie narrowed her eyes at him, but she had to admit. It was a good point. "Especially knowing that we'd just plot our escape together."

"Pump the breaks, Phantom. I'm not escaping," Valerie scoffed. "They'll realize their mistake and just let me go."

"Well, they're not gonna let me go," Phantom frowned. "The Guys in White don't exactly play nice with ghosts. And I'm not leaving without you."

"Not my problem," Valerie replied. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Unless...of course there's a reason for it to be my problem."

"You can't just do it out of the kindness of your heart?" Phantom sounded sarcastic, despite staring at her desperately. Valerie crossed her arms. "Please?"

"Give me one good reason to escape with you."

And thus began a staring contest. Phantom shifted from foot to foot, and he glanced at the floor. A lightbulb made the realization click. The GIW knew her identity. They arrested her at school. But they didn't know Phantom's. Nobody probably did. This was likely a ploy to get them to reveal themselves to each other. How or why, Valerie wasn't sure. But now it was glaringly obvious to her.

Phantom was half-ghost. Just like Dani. Just like Vlad. The Guys in White don't play nice with ghosts, and she had a strong feeling that they didn't care much about playing nice with humans either. Especially if they suspected that there was ghost within them.

"Nevermind," Valerie sighed. Phantom stared at her, and he...looked scared. "I can destroy ghosts…" But I really can't take part in destroying a human.

Phantom grew a bit pale again, as they both knew the unspoken words. He took a deep, shaky breath. His reaction was all she needed to know, that this wasn't some weird lie or ploy.

"So. What's our game plan?" he asked.

Valerie studied their surroundings. She reached out to touch the bars of their shared cell, taking immediate note that she wasn't shocked.

"Well, obviously there's that big shield outside," Valerie lightly mused.

"I can get past that shield," Phantom spoke up. "Under the...right circumstances."

Valerie nodded. If Phantom was able to turn human away from the prying eyes of cameras and more, they could both obviously escape right out the front door. Hell, they could likely utilize both Phantom and his? Human? Side? Whatever he was called.

"This facility was designed for ghosts, not humans," Phantom continued. "If we worked together, we can probably make a quick exit." Valerie hummed in agreement.

"That's not just enough," Valerie replied. "I'll just get arrested again. They know who I am. Like, they know Valerie Gray is the huntress." Phantom frowned, and he thought for a moment.

"We could maybe delete their evidence files or something?" he suggested. Valerie paced their cell for a moment.

"There has to be some kind of computer security room somewhere," Valerie spoke aloud to herself. "If we can find it, we can probably wipe evidence and also fully take down the shield."

Phantom leaned against the back wall of the cell.

"I don't think that's enough," he replied. Valerie stopped pacing to stare at him. "We need to make sure the Guys in White don't do this again. Ever. Never even have the chance to get to this point again." Valerie scowled.

"They help hunt ghosts!" she protested.

"And they'd consider Danielle a ghost and rip her to shreds," Phantom countered. The reminder of that little girl hit her straight in the gut. She sighed.

"I don't know," she said slowly.

"They're a government organization, they'll rebuild," Phantom pushed. "We just need to stall them long enough to buy time for us to figure out how to keep you, Danielle and I safe."

She hated it, but...yeah. She wasn't really in the best position either. Valerie had no clue what was going on with her, but the Guys in White were incredibly persistent...and she knew her dad wouldn't be able to afford a lawyer for her anymore.

Valerie held her wrist up. Her suit's bracelet was basically hidden underneath the anti-ghost one, but she could still feel it there. Her suit wasn't gone. She could still access it, and that made her feel more confident in that she was still human. Which she had to be. Right?

Valerie activated her suit, and she held her wrist up to read the screen. She pressed a few buttons.

"I think I can figure out a map of this place," she said. "And from there we can see where's what."

Her forearm glowed brightly as it gathered data. It took a few moments of calculating, but soon, she had her results. Phantom was soon peering over her shoulder, both of them studying the map.

"How accurate is this?" Phantom questioned.

"It tends to be fairly decent. Sometimes it's hit or miss with collapsed buildings, but overall it's spot on," she replied. She adjusted the screen, zooming it out. "I can only get the floor we're on though."

"That looks like it could be some kind of utility room," Phantom pointed to a specific room. Valerie zoomed in on it, studying it.

"Yeah," she said slowly. "Yeah. Gotta be. It's got a lot of power coming to or from there. Has to be a source, or at the very least some kind of major technology area."

"Either way, we should destroy it," Phantom said. Valerie frowned.

"I don't know," she hesitated.

"I mean, you can't even summon your powers."

Phantom glanced down at his wrists, glancing curiously at them before setting his sights on Valerie's arms.

"Can you shoot them off?" he asked.

Valerie tried to summon one of her weapons. She waited. And she waited. Nothing came, and her gut became queasy. She couldn't get her ghost weapon. None of them would summon. This had to be a bad sign. Or was it just the GIW prepared against humans too? That was the most logical explanation. She couldn't be…But also she could be...after all the ectoplasmic readings...

"Um, actually, I think I can…" Phantom's voice caused her to truly look at him again. The ghost was fiddling with his wristbands, using his knees to lock it in place as he attempted to slip his wrist through the band with no success.

"Here, let me try," Valerie interrupted him. Phantom glanced up at her.

"Can you shoot them?" he asked. Valerie forced a weak smile, but she held up a screwdriver.

"Got something even better. My travel tool kit," she replied. After too many breakdowns in the field, she had replaced a small pouch that previously held smoke bombs, something she rarely used, with a few small tools. It was easily one of the best choices she made.

Phantom held his wrist out to her, and she turned the bracelet around. Eventually she managed to pry a piece of the metallic covering off, exposing screws and a few wires. Valerie didn't undo or cut anything right away, both her and Phantom silently trying to make sense of the connection and mechanics behind it. Would really suck to find out the hard way that disconnecting a certain wire would trigger an alarm, after all.

"I think you shouldn't touch the red wire," Phantom lightly mused. "Pretty sure that's a power, and if you turn it off it'll be bad news."

"Mmm, yeah," Valerie agreed. "I think I can just unscrew this though, and we should just be careful to not slip the wires off."

Phantom nodded, and he waited patiently as she did just so. After twenty minutes of careful disconnecting, Phantom had two hands free, and he flexed his hands with a happy sigh.

"God, that just feels so much better," he told her. He motioned for her to hand him the screwdriver. "Here, I'll do yours." Valerie shook her head.

"I can't leave. I won't say anything if you escape, but they know my identity."

Phantom frowned.

"I'm not leaving you here. Come on, you saw your map. We can destroy their power. We can destroy this entire building," he began, only for Valerie to cut him off.

"And do more destruction? Is that all you think about?" she snapped. "You're safe. They know my identity. You want me to get more charges or something? I can't risk it. I'll just stay here. They'll figure out soon enough that I'm fully human." A full human who apparently had mixed logic as to whether or not they could use their ghost hunting suit. If she was fully human, she could summon those weapons, right? Unless it was specifically preventing any ghost weapon, regardless of the user, use it.

"Red, I don't think you understand," Phantom told her. "They're not going to go easy on you. Even if you prove you're human, they're not going to believe you. You heard them. They already denied you contact to the outside world."

That reminder sent a chill down her spine.

"Then tell my dad," she told him. Phantom stared at her. He began to unzip his suit, and she instantly began to look away. "Dude, what the hell?"

"Valerie, look at me," he demanded.

"You're naked!" she protested.

"I'm not naked, just look."

She decided to humor him with the intention of taking a quick peek. But when she saw him, she felt a cold sweat hit her. Phantom had only zipped enough to expose his chest, and there was a distinctive Y-patterned scar on his chest that stood out against the other scars.

"This is what happened last time I was trapped here. I'm not going to leave you alone here," he stated. He suddenly looked away, and he quickly zipped his suit back up. "There's no way in hell I'm going to risk this happening to you. Red, you need to come with me."

That urgent gut feeling of needing to go finally crashed into her. The GIW would never believe her. Not just because of stubbornness, but...Valerie herself wasn't even sure anymore.

She swallowed dryly, and she nodded. Her right wrist was offered to him.

"Do you know what to do?" she asked. Phantom scowled.

"I just watched you do it," he reminded her. She rolled her eyes, but held her wrist up for him, and a half hour later, she too, was free.

She wasn't sure if she was more concerned or relieved to instantly feel that distinctive rush of power back. The second Phantom removed her bracelet, she knew that she could summon any of her ghost weapons now at her fingertips. But she could still summon her suit regardless, and activate her GPS abilities. Was this normal? Valerie had no clue what this meant anymore.

"So, next step, I think we can escape through here."

Valerie looked up to see Phantom was now floating by the vent at the top of their cell. He was already using her screwdriver to undo the vent cover. She pulled her map back up on her forearm, glancing at it and studying it.

"I'm pretty sure the vent will go straight to that electric room," she told him.

"Oh, now you're finally seeing the big picture?" Phantom lightly teased, glancing over his shoulder as he popped the vent cover off. She nodded at him, but didn't crack a smile.

"...You and Dani may look just alike, but I never want you two to have matching scars," she said. Phantom's smile dropped, and he nodded in agreement.

He placed the vent covering on the top bunk, handing Valerie back her screwdriver. She slipped it back in it's pouch.

"Here, I'll give you a boost up," Phantom offered, pressing his hands together. She nodded, stepping a foot onto his hand. With ease, Phantom pushed her up, and she grabbed onto the vent, pulling herself in. It was surprisingly fairly roomy yet not, and she managed to get comfortable on her stomach, pulling her map back up.

"Ready to commit several federal crimes?" Phantom's voice half joked. She looked behind her the best she could to see the ghost right behind her. She snorted in amusement.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she replied. "Just follow me. It's time to give these idiots hell."

And hell they did. Who knew that the Guys in Whites headquarters could cause such a colorful explosion.

[bokukawas]

All yours

pairing; Hanamaki Takahiro x Reader 

warnings; stalking, anxiety attack, nsfw mentions, fluff & mutual pining

a/n; I enjoyed writing Makki as a lovesick fool way too much

summary; working at a coffee shop, you get a customer that’s a little too interested in you, same as your friend who doesn’t realize you like him just as much

word count; nearly 10k ok I’m sorry I can’t write short fics

 “Makki, he’s here again what do I do!?”

Freaking out a little, you gently massage the bridge of your nose, waiting for your best friend to respond. You had fled to the toilet the second you had put your eyes on the man standing outside the coffee shop door, leaving your co-worker to deal with him.

Working part time as a barista had seemed a good idea to earn some money. After all, you loved making coffee, not only for yourself, but for others as well and just whole-heartily enjoyed the atmosphere of coffee shops. Well that was before you realized how creepy some of the customers could be. Normally they could tell and accept that you were not interested in the least, but that one particularly obtrusive customer just didn’t seem to get it. Or he didn’t want to.

It had started with blatant flirting at the cash register. Then a scribbled phone number with a suggestive message attached to it. After that, he had only started showing up when you were working. Your co-workers had told you he never was there when you weren’t. So to put it short: he was a stalker. A very creepy one. Fuck, why wasn’t Makki answering? Then you remember: he had an interview today. He probably had shut his phone off or put it on silent not to be disturbed. Fuck.

Trying to calm your breathing, you stare at the bathroom door, then at the tiles, counting them in your head to keep your thoughts form circling. It was getting late and you had to close the store alone today. You had noticed it weeks ago, that he was starting to come in later and later in the day, as if he was waiting for the right time to get to you alone. Which would be today. Normally your co-workers stayed longer or even changed shifts with you when they saw he was loitering around, but that wasn’t possible today.

A silent knock pulled you out of your thoughts. “Y/n? Are you all right? He left.”

Clenching your hands into fists, you take a deep breath and steel yourself for what has to be done. You couldn’t just leave and go home now after all.

“Yeah I’m fine, thank you. I’m coming, just give me a second.”

“Take your time” was the silent response to that. Without your co-workers you would have been screwed weeks ago.

Sighing you stand up slowly and walk over to the washbasin, looking in the mirror hanging right above it. You looked ghastly. Everyone could probably tell from miles away how spooked you were over this. You just wished you could do something about this situation, but in fact you couldn’t and the feeling of being powerless made you feel even more on edge.

You send another quick message to Mattsun, Iwaizumi and Oikawa, hoping that at least one of them would look at their phone in the next few minutes. Your co-worker had to leave in a little bit and you would be utterly alone then. And who could guarantee that that creep wouldn’t come back right then, right? He was probably waiting around somewhere, hoping for that exact scenario to happen.

When you step out of the bathroom and rejoin your co-worker behind the counter, she musters you with concern, eyebrows raised.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I can try and cancel my plans for later and stay with you…,” she suggests, waiting for your response. She seemed sincere enough with her offer, but you didn’t want to ruin yet another date for her. You were a grown up after all.

Circling your shoulders to get a little tension out, you shake your head slightly. “No I’m fine, thanks. It’s gonna be alright, he left after all.”

“In fact he didn’t even come in today; he turned around the second he saw you leave for the bathroom when you spotted him.”

“Maybe he finally took the hint.”

Sighing you start to polish the counter and clean up a little. Starting early will only allow you a head start later when you have to close the store.

Your co-worker still didn’t seem reassured.

“Hey… Y/N are you sure about this? I am not mad, I swear, I’d rather know you’re safe than enjoy my date and read about a horrible murder tomorrow morning. What about your boyfriend, can’t he come and pick you up today as well?”

Throwing her a quick glance, you correct her once again. “He is not my boyfriend”, you sigh, “and no, he’s got a job interview right now, I’m not sure when he’s finished.”

“He basically is your boyfriend. And it’s clear as day that you wish him to be”, she laughs, nudging you in the side to take the edge off. Jokingly you shove her away. “He doesn’t seem to notice though. What is it with men not being able to take a hint anyway?” you chuckle.

Well to Hanamakis defense, you never actually implied to him that your feelings had changed, even though they had, long ago. But you were content enough with him as your best friend. That was better than a ruined friendship because of unrequired feelings after all.

“I never told him” you feel obliged to say. “How could he know?”

Your co-worker just raised her eyebrows. “The way you look at him with literal heart eyes sometimes should be enough of a clue for him. Also I’m pretty sure your other friend knows.”

Wincing you shoot her another glance. “Which one?” you ask, panicking. If it was Mattsun you had a problem, because he definitely would have told Makki.

“The one in Argentina.”

Thank god. Oikawa could be a blabbermouth as well, but he was decent in regard of matters like this.

“Through my FaceTime’s?” you ask.

She just nods at that. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice his shit-eating grin every time you talk about Hanamaki to him. It was pretty obvious.” She laughs. “He’s living miles and miles away and he still figured it out right away, I don’t get how Hanamaki hasn’t figured you out already.”

Shrugging, you continue to clean all the surfaces. There were no customers left here, so all you had to do now was close the store, put the money in the safe, clean everything and lock the door behind you. Your eye finds the clock.

“C’mon Kaori, get your pretty ass to your date, I’ve been cockblocking you long enough now.”

She just laughs at that and strips off her apron. “Fine, if you say so.”

“I can just lock the door right behind you and then clean everything in peace, I’ll be fine, I promise. And this way you can tell me about a hopefully more successful love story than my own on Friday.” Winking at her, you shove her into the locker room so that she can get her stuff and be gone.

While she changes and slips out of her work clothes, you check your phone again. Mattsun had answered.

“Are you alright? Did he leave? I can’t come over to walk you home, but call me if you leave, please.”

You type out a quick message to him and put your phone back in your back pocket as Kaori steps out of the locker room.

“Wow. You look stunning,” examining her from head to toe you nod approvingly.

She just laughs at that and punches you in the shoulder. “You’re such a sweet-talker! That comes from you always hanging out with those boys of yours.”

Holding up two lipsticks, she lets you choose. You decide for the slightly darker red, it fits her outfit well and makes her seem mature.

A figure appears in front of the door and your heart violently skips a beat, before Kaori squeals and you realize it must be her date.

“You didn’t tell me he would come and get you!” you laugh as your heart resumes its normal beating pattern.

“Well, what do you think?” she asks as she slowly makes her way to the door, already waving at him.

Pulling a face, you just give her thumbs up. “Nice. I hope he treats you right… well he IS fetching you from work, so that’s a good start right there. Now don’t leave him waiting.” Shoving her outside, you give her another small wave, before you pull the door closed behind her and immediately lock it.

Sighing, you watch her lock her arms with her date and slender down the street. It’s gotten dark outside already. The utter silence of the now empty coffee shop suddenly creeps you out. Fishing your phone out of your back pocket again, you call Mattsun. He answers his phone almost immediately.

“Are you alright?” was the first question he shot at you. You chuckle. When had they gotten so protective over you?

“I’m fine Mattsun. I just got creeped out for a second because it’s so silent now that everyone is gone.”

Explaining to him what has happened earlier, you bring the money to the safe. After that, you start doing your chores and clean the counter, before turning to the coffee machines and putting everything in the dishwasher before turning it on. You could hear him work as well as he quietly chats with you about this and that.

Going into the locker room you notice someone standing in front of the closed coffee shop door and your heart nearly stops as the phone slips from your hand and crashes to the counter.

After taking a double take, you realize it was actually Hanamaki standing there, waving at you with a dumb grin plastered on his face.

“Fuck” you exclaim as you try to calm down again and grab your phone, where Mattsun was currently freaking out. “Y/N? Y/N!? Did something happen? Goddamn answer me!”

Bringing the phone to your ear again, you take in a deep breath before answering. “Sorry Mattsun, Makki just showed up and made me lose my shit.”

You go to the door, keys already in your hand when you spot another figure a little down the street. “Oh shit.”

Turning the key quickly, to let Makki in, who was already starting to talk like a waterfall about the job interview, you pull him in quickly, before throwing the door shut again, frantically trying to get the keys in again to turn it around. Your hands were shaking too much, though.

Hanamaki stops in his track when he realizes you were freaking out, keys in your violently shaking hand, the phone forgotten in the other. He just guides your hand back to your ear, so you could hear Mattsun, who was freaking out again, while simultaneously taking the keys from your other hand, to lock the door behind you.

“Sorry Mattsun. Makki scared the living shit out of me and while letting him in I saw that the freak actually really waited down the street.”

Hanamaki grows rigid upon hearing that, casting a quick glance outside the window to get his eyes on the guy who has been bothering you for months now. He couldn’t find him. That bastard had probably left the second he saw you weren’t alone anymore.

Handing the phone over to Makki, as Mattsun had wanted to talk to him, you glide down onto a chair. Wow. If Makki hadn’t showed up in that instance that could have seriously gone wrong.

Zoning out completely to your worst-case scenarios, you don’t notice the way Hanamaki looks at you. Like you’re the most precious thing to him. Like his life depended on your well-being. He was mad at himself for not checking his phone quicker when he had finished his job interview. He just had been so happy that it had worked out well this time that he had simply jumped right onto the next bus to tell you in person, he knew when you had to work out of his head after all.

His eyes crinkle with concern as you start to breathe more and more quickly.

“Mattsun, I’ll call you back later, okay?” and with that he simply ends the call before kneeling down in front of you.

“Y/N. Look at me.” He puts his hands on your knees and squeezes slightly to get your attention. Your eyes flick to his face and you see that his lips are moving, but you can’t quite make out what he’s telling you over the sudden ringing in your ears.

“Hey.” He takes one of your hands, which both lay limp in your lap, in his before putting it gently onto his chest as he gives your knee another squeeze. “Breathe with me.” And even though you still can’t quite make out the words leaving his mouth, you get what he’s trying to do and just follow his lead. As you could feel the breath flow in and out of his chest, you breathe in and out slowly as well. It makes you calm down after a while and the ringing in your ears starts to recede before vanishing completely.

Hanamakis eyes never leave your face for the whole situation. When he could tell you had calmed down enough, he lifts his hand from your knee to your face and wipes at your cheek. You hadn’t even realized the tears falling. You did now, though, as they were welling in your eyes rapidly and spilling down your cheeks.

“Hey, it’s alright, I’m here now.” Hanamaki stands up next to you and pulls your head flush against his stomach, holding you against him as he gently wipes your tears away.

“I’m scared Hiro” you mutter out after a while. “He was waiting for me to leave.”

“I know. Don’t worry about that now, I’ll take you home from now on every time. And we will go to the police tomorrow. That man is stalking you.”

Nodding against his tummy, you wrap both your arms around him and just focus on relaxing for now.

Hanamakis heart clenches painful in his chest. He’s glad that you can’t feel that, but after all you have been pretty oblivious to his feelings for you. He should have told you he liked you months ago. Seeing you like this and feel you cling to him as if he was the only solid thing in your life right now made his mind spin out of control.

That asshole would need a good punching. No one would ever lay their hands on you if he could prevent it. Looking a little impassive and soft was working in his favor when it came to things like that. No one expected his punch before it was already in their face.

After a while, when he could tell you were relaxing for real now, he took your face in both hands and tilted it up so you were looking at him.

“Are you finished here?” he asks while looking around the empty coffee shop. You only nod in response.

“I was just about to get my stuff when you appeared.”

“Alright. Let’s get you home then.” He pulls you to your feet and joins you in the locker room, watching you open your locker and get your jacket and bag out of it. A smile pulls at his lips as he could see that your whole locker was plastered with Polaroids of him and his friends.

“Let’s go” he repeats and takes the keys from your hand. He lets you switch off the light and pulls the door close behind you, locking it, before giving you back the keys so you could put them in your bag. He didn’t miss the nervous glances you were throwing over your shoulder.

He was not sure if this was a good idea, but he wanted to reassure you that he was there now and you didn’t need to worry anymore, so he reached out for your hand and intertwined your fingers, squeezing lightly. You throw him a surprised glance, but squeeze right back, thankful for his little gesture. Only then do you realize he is still wearing his job interview outfit. Letting your eyes wander from head to toe, you nod approvingly for a second time that day.

“Damn Makki, you look fine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear a suit before.”

He chuckles at that and just pulls you forward, getting you walking.

“You want to hear about it?” he silently asks. You could tell he was eager to report on this interview and feel bad immediately for cutting him off so harshly earlier. You nod and give his hand another squeeze, trying not to focus on the fact that your hand seemed to fit perfectly into his. This felt excessively nice.

Makki starts talking about his interview immediately and you listen closely, laughing when he tells you he nearly choked on the water they gave him because he was so nervous. He could be a little shy sometimes; especially if he really wanted something and you could tell that he really, really wanted that job, after his last one had been such a disaster. It seems like this time the job interview went really well though and it made you happy to think that your friend would maybe soon be working at a job that he really enjoys. After a while, he had started to brush his thumb over yours absentmindedly and you tried your best to ignore the warm feeling that was currently spreading inside of you. He only held your hand to comfort you after all, you reminded yourself and there was no need to interpret things into this gesture that were not real.

When you turned the next corner and wanted to turn left, a surprised Hanamaki, who had turned right, pulled you back.

“Oh sorry, I thought you’d maybe want to come over and stay with me tonight”, he scratched his head awkwardly, “just to be sure, you know.”

You hadn’t even thought about that. After all there was a chance that your stalker had followed you before and knew where you lived. Breathing suddenly felt extraordinary hard again and you swallowed loudly. You didn’t even want to think about that possibility and just looked up at Makki, who was studying your face with alert in his eyes again.

“I didn’t want to freak you out, sorry” he apologizes, after he grasped that that had been a stupid thing to say to someone, who has had a panic attack only minutes before.

Shaking your head slightly you exhale slowly. “You’re probably right. Is that okay for you? I don’t want to intrude…”

He flicked your forehead in an instance then. “You know you’re not intruding. We could watch a film later, to get that creep out of your head. Maybe some Ghibli?” An inquiring glance in your direction followed. “Or rather Disney?”

The overwhelming urge to cry again hit you like a brick right then. How could he be so perfect? How could he still not know that you loved him with all your heart? You were sure that Kaori had been right; you probably really looked at your best friend with hearts in your eyes sometimes, but alas how could you not if he was this fucking perfect. Realizing you had stopped walking and blatantly stared at his face, you manage to give him a crooked grin. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

Makki on the other hand had stopped breathing for a moment as he thought he finally overstepped the boundary of your friendship. It wasn’t your fault after all that he couldn’t manage feeling normal towards you. He sincerely hoped that inviting you to stay with him wouldn’t backfire at him horribly. Don’t act like a lovesick puppy Makki, he repeated over and over in his head again. Act normal. You’ve done this a thousand times before, you can handle it one more time.

Only this time he wasn’t sure he could. The way your hand felt in his was divine and he didn’t want to let go of it ever again. In fact, the only thing he wanted to do right now was give you a bone-crushing hug, so he could feel your body pressed against his. He wanted to bury his nose in the crook of your neck, inhale, and forget about everything else, because nothing else seemed to matter at that moment.

Slightly shaking his head as he realized he was letting his mind wander, he found you staring at him again. You of course couldn’t know what was going on in your friends head, but you didn’t miss the blush that was spreading on his cheeks. “You okay Makki? You zoned out pretty bad” you laugh as his blush deepens.

“Nah I’m fine. Have you decided yet? Ghibli or Disney? Or something else? We could watch a horror movie?” he suggestively wiggled his eyebrows, which earned him a punch in the side from you.

“No way! My whole day has been a horror movie. I don’t need more horror. Also I won’t forget that one time we watched “The Ring” and both you and Mattsun fell asleep and Tooru and I were freaking out alone, because Iwa wasn’t there. I couldn’t use the tub for months after that because I was so scared!”

Hanamaki just snorted as he remembered that night. Both he and Matsukawa were pretty chill when it came to horror movies. Iwaizumi was nonchalant about them, but you and Oikawa were the biggest scaredy-cats in the world. That had been the first and last time they could convince you to watch a horror movie. The fond smile on his face grew even bigger as he remembered how they had woken up to find you and Oikawa cling to each other as if your dear life was depending on it.

Sighing, he voiced what was going through his head. “Damn, I miss Shittykawa. Who would’ve thought, right?”

Clenching his hand in yours, you make him look down at you. “I would. I miss him, too.” You sigh as well. “Hopefully he’s coming back to visit soon.”

“Yeah… hopefully.” And with that you finally reached his home. It wasn’t much, just a very small apartment in a more than unimpressive high-rise, but to you it somehow felt more like home than your own flat. Following him closely as he punches the button to get the elevator down, you notice that he still hasn’t let go of your hand. He also hadn’t ceased the brushing of his thumb over yours. It was endearing that he didn’t even notice he was doing it. When the elevator arrived and you stepped inside, you follow a sudden urge and step even closer to him and rest your head against his arm, closing your eyes.

Hanamakis heart does a double beat in his chest as you snuggle into his arm. “Are you tired? We can go straight to bed if you’d prefer that.”

“Mhh no. I think I’ve settled for Disney.”

“Which one?” he asks, even though he could guess your answer.

“Tangled.”

Giving you a surprised look, he tries to calm down his heart yet again as it pounds heavily in his chest. “Why tangled? I thought you’d say Aladdin.”

You open your eyes again as the little ping of the elevator indicates that you arrived at the right floor. “It’s your favorite Disney movie.” You shrug. “We also watched Aladdin the last time.”

Makki wanted to groan. It was annoying that you were so attentive with his likes and dislikes, yet you didn’t see how much he yearned to be with you. To touch you. To love you.

Smirking down at you instead, he chuckles. “Attentive, aren’t you?”, before he finally lets go of your hand to open the door to his flat. Throwing it wide open for you, you tag along and pull off your shoes, striding right into the living room, your friend right behind you.

“Make yourself at home, I’ll be right back, I just can’t wait get rid of this” he points at his suit, “shit.” Laughing you nod and throw yourself on his couch, sinking into his soft pillows at once. Makki usually had a horrible fashion sense, but in the end, he somehow made it work and looked endearing in his mismatched colors and shapes. Well at least he looked endearing to you. When he came back, he had changed into a pale purple sleeveless hoodie and black sweatpants. Your mouth felt really dry suddenly, as you took in the defined muscle of his arms. Noticing then, that he had something in his hands you raise your eyebrows inquiringly.

“I figured you might want to wear something more comfy as well?”

He throws another pair of seriously washed out black joggers at you, which you promptly fail to catch and get hit by square in the face. “Makki!” you complain as he laughs. “Want the Tee for now, or the Hoodie?” he asks as he holds up both options.

“Oh my god, that’s got to be the most hideous T-Shirt you could find!” You cry out as you start laughing at the green T-Shirt with bright neon strawberries on it in different colors. “Give me that.” He obliges and hands it over, hanging the hoodie over the back of the couch nonetheless. He knew you; you would probably get cold later and need it anyways. As you get up to change, he also hands you a pair of big wooly socks.

Fuck, he was so perfect for you, you could cry. He knew you like no one else did.

“Thanks Hiro”, you mumble as you make your way to his bathroom to change. At the first glance in the mirror, you shriek. “MAKKI!? How could you let me walk around like this? Oh my god I look like I’ve just rediscovered my emo-phase.”

You could hear him laugh in the living room. “I thought you looked cute.”

“Fuck you!” you shout as you take in the utter mess that once had been your mascara. It makes you crack up, though. In some way, it looked hilarious and the fact that Makki could look you in the face while you looked like this without starting to laugh somehow made you feel warm inside.

After freshening up and fully removing your make up, you put on his clothes. His familiar scent soon engulfs you and you put your nose into the shirt and give it a good sniff. Thank god, no one could see this, but it just felt comforting to you. Of course, everything was way too big on you and you had to roll the sweatpants up a good bit, before deciding that you could just stuff them into the likewise too big wool socks. You must look utterly ridiculous, but the fact that he had given you clothes of his own so you could feel more comfortable made you unreasonably happy.

The second you stepped out of his bathroom, Makki knew that today was going to be a test for his patience. How could someone look so utterly cute in the most hideous clothes he could find? Because yes, you had been right: he had searched for the most revolting clothing he had to offer so that he wouldn’t be too tempted. Boy had he been wrong. He wanted to grab you, kiss you stupid, and finally find out how your lips would feel against his. Violently slapping that thought right out of his head, he lifts his hands, showing you what he was holding this time. It was a piece of cake, with two forks already embedded in it.

“I bought this earlier as a treat to myself if the interview went well… or as comfort food if it didn’t.”

“Basically you just wanted cake Hiro.”

“Yeah. Wanna share?”

“No thanks, it’s all yours.”

While trying to make your way to the couch again, you promptly slip with the too large socks on your feet and nearly fall face down. You manage to get back in balance while doing a stupid little flaying dance and you could hear Makki start laughing frantically.

“Oh my god that looked fantastic, do that again” he laugh-snorts as he picks up his phone from the table and puts the camera on you.

“No Makki, fuck you” you respond, but fail to hold in your own laughter. That must have looked seriously stupid. “What are you so goddamn tall for anyway? I’m getting lost in these clothes.”

Still laughing he only holds up his phone. “You look ridiculous” and fucking cute “strike a pose for the guys.”

So you do. Then you go and glance at the picture and start laughing again. You really did look ridiculous. A few seconds later, you hear the little pling from your phone, indicating that he’d sent the photo in the group chat. They were going to die laughing at how stupid you looked.

Finally, you flop down on his couch again as he sets down his cake in front of it and gets his TV started. “Hey, Y/n?”

“Hmh?”

“Want some hot chocolate instead?”

Snapping your head up, you look at your friends face with literal heart eyes. Since Makki also has a very sweet tooth, he has perfected his hot coco and it was seriously the best you ever had. Eagerly nodding you get up to help him, but he gently pushes you back down.

“No, you served enough people today, let me do this for you. I’ll be right back.” And with that he left you sitting a little speechless on his couch. Could he get any more perfect?

In fact, Hanamaki had left your side to take a quick breather. He seriously had underestimated the effect you would have on him, wearing his clothes. Even if it were the ugliest he could find. His fingers were itching to touch you, his whole body heating at the thought of holding you in his arms. Oh boy, he had it bad. Wearing his clothes made you look like his girlfriend and his brain was simply short-circuiting at that. Trying to get his thoughts off you and onto something else, he started preparing his special hot chocolate. He knew you loved it and the way you had looked at him when he suggested making it proved him right. It had also proved his knees to be really weak. Inwardly cursing himself for being such a mess for you, he poured the hot chocolate in your favorite cup and topped it with some cream, before sprinkling a few chocolate drops on top. When he came back in his living room, you were already stretched out on his couch, blanket loosely thrown over your legs, leaving him his usual corner free so he could settle as well. Makki couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his face.

“Here. Careful, it’s still hot.” He handed over the cup cautiously, holding it so you could take the handle and not burn your hands immediately.

“Thanks Makki, you’re the best.” Being a little too greedy, you ignore his warning and directly burn your tongue.

“Mhhhh hot hot hot.”

“I told you so”, he snorts as he dims the lights before he flops down next to you and sets up the movie. Throwing you a glance, he asks: “Ready?” to which you simply nod.

You watched in silence, thoughts drifting through various scenarios of the day as you sip your hot chocolate. At one point you glance at Hanamaki next to you, happily munching away on his piece of cake, his eyes fixed on the TV, before finally being able to focus on the movie yourself. When the film slowly came to that special scene, you didn’t even have to look over to your friend, you just knew he was starting to smirk. You lift your finger warningly. “Don’t you say it, don’t you dare say it,” you state as you start crying when the lanterns are put into the air.

“Aww you’re such a crybaby.” He laughs, but puts an arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer to him, while simultaneously reaching over to give you a tissue box. “I knew this would happen.”

Sniffing you just take a tissue and rest your head against his shoulder, not missing that he wasn’t taking his arm off of you as he usually would have. After the movie was over, Makki threw you an inquiring glance to which you only nodded, so he started playing another one. You could tell he was going soft on you today, because his choice was Mulan this time. As the movie continues, your eyes were starting to get droopy, the day finally catching up on you. You didn’t want to tell Makki, but you were seriously exhausted. He could guess though, as you were starting to lean against him more and more heavily, eyes closed, head slowly slipping from his shoulder down to his chest. Leaning his head against the back, he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart, because fuck you were actually falling asleep on him. And you looked damn cute while doing so. He skidded down on the couch a little; making the position you were in a little less straining for your neck. To his uttermost dismay that prompted you to nuzzle your head into his chest a little more while peacefully sleeping.

Violently slapping his free hand to his forehead, he tried not to groan out loud. This was torture. Absolute fucking torture. Forcefully driving his eyes away from your face, he decided that he would just have to sit this one out.

As soon as you wrapped your arm around his middle though, he decided that no, actually he didn’t have to sit this one out. He would have to get you off him this instance or he would snap and do something stupid, which he surely would regret later. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Lifting you a little off his chest, he edged out beneath you, so he could get both his arms under you and carry you to bed. He tried his best to be careful and not shake you too much, but you were briefly waking up nonetheless.

Sleepily you rest your head against his shoulder again before mumbling. “Sorry for falling asleep…guess I was more tired than I thought.”

“s’ okay, keep sleeping.” Hearing the smile in his voice, you smile as well. Then you were put down onto his soft mattress. “Here you go”, he says as he pulls his blanket up to your nose and tugs you in properly. “Good night Y/N.”

That was suspicious. It sounded as if he didn’t want to go to bed as well, or at least not in his own bed.

“Are you not sleeping here?” you voice your thoughts. “I can make myself small. We’ve slept in this bed with three people before…” You were actually sounding disappointed.

There goes his escape plan. He couldn’t blatantly say to your face that he was going to lose his mind if he was so close to you any longer, could he? So he put on a brave face. “Just going to the bathroom. Sleep now, I’ll be right back.”

With that, he turned around and vanished. You knew he’d come back to bed then, he never did break his promises after all, so you got even more comfortable, breathing in the scent of him which was lingering all around you now. It had been a while since you had a sleepover with him. Grinning into the pillow because you were just happy in that moment, you promptly fall asleep again.

Makki on the other hand was standing in front of his bathroom mirror, brushing his teeth and contemplating to just jump off his balcony. That would probably be less painful than lying down next to you without being able to touch you. The fact that you’d seen right through his plan to sleep on the couch even though you were half asleep had him shook. Finally letting out a groan, he spit out and splashes some cold water in his face. For a second he actually contemplated to take a cold shower, he sure as hell needed one, but alas he would need that shower tomorrow morning as well.

Hoping that his body wouldn’t betray him, he made his way back to his bedroom. Upon seeing you already fast asleep again, he let out a relieved sigh. Finally some luck on his side. Carefully climbing in next to you, he turns his back to you at once. He sure as hell wouldn’t fall asleep if he kept staring at your sleeping form in front of him. Not that he was expecting much sleep after all in this situation. You blissfully slept through his struggle, clutching his blanket in your hands and surprisingly Hanamaki had been wrong, too, because he fell asleep rather quickly as well.

The next morning when you were slowly coming to your senses again, the sun was just going up, bathing Hanamakis room in a lovely hue of rose and orange, illuminating the chaos he had not been able to put away before you arrived. And how could he? He probably hadn’t planned on inviting you over.

You realized two things then. One: the blanket was barely even covering you anymore and two: despite that, you were not freezing. In fact, you were very warm and comfortable.

Goose bumps rose on your whole body, as you felt your friends’ breath ghost against you, his nose pressed against your neck. Actually, there was not a spot on your body where he wasn’t touching you at the moment. You were quite literally pressed against him everywhere you could. Or he more likely he was pressed against you, as he was spooning you from behind. His whole body was embracing you. No wonder you weren’t cold despite the blanket lying uselessly next to you, Makki was spreading heat all over your body from behind. Your legs were entangled with his and he had one arm thrown over your side, cradling you against him. The slow rise and fall of his chest against your back tells you he was still fast asleep.

Trying very hard not to freak out, you close your eyes again. Was this the reason he hadn’t wanted to sleep next to you last night? Because he knew, this would happen and he didn’t want to? That has to be it. But you had slept with him in the same bed so often before, why was it a problem suddenly? Maybe he had developed this habit during one of his relationships with his ex-girlfriends? His last relationship hadn’t even been that long ago you remember. Could it be that he still likes her and sleeping in one bed with you reminds him of her, so he didn’t want to? He hadn’t seemed very sad when they had broken off though… Feeling a headache creep up on you, you slightly shift as you put your hand against your temple. Makki moves at that motion as well, nuzzling his nose even more against your neck, arm enclosing you a little firmer as he sighs right against the nape of your neck in his sleep.

Warmth spread all in your body, rising to your cheeks as you try to calm your rapidly beating heart. However, your body didn’t want to calm down yet, stomach doing somersaults and dropping as if you’d miss a few steps on a stair at the same time. Not to mention the butterflies erupting as well. Shit you were so in love with your friend. Overly attentive to his hand resting against your tummy, you had to restrain yourself to just put your hand right over his. He was so warm and soft against you your mind was spinning. Makki starts moving then, his hips pressing into you as he sighs again, trying to get even closer to you than he already was which, of course, was impossible. You could pinpoint the exact moment he woke up, because as he had been soft and warm against you before, he now turned to stone. Closing your eyes, you try to fake being asleep to him, but you were sure your rapidly beating heart was exposing you as his hand was resting awfully close to it after all. So he really was despising this. You wanted to cry. Of course, you couldn’t know what was going on in his head. Which was quite the opposite of despising. Fuck fuck fuck, was all Hanamaki could think as he slowly came to. He knew his body was a goddamn traitor, but he hadn’t expected it to be this bad. He was practically glued to you; his goddamn hand was on your stomach, his legs entangled with yours. This was a mess. A disaster even, because he didn’t want to let go of you at all. There was only one way to get out of this with a little dignity…

“Sorry, guess my body decided to get a little warmth from somewhere, because someone was hogging the blanket.” His voice was still a little rough from just waking up and your whole body constricted with want for him upon hearing it. But he was giving you a chance to get out of this without it being too awkward, you should be lucky.

“My bad”, you snicker, “I’m not used to sharing my blanket, unlike someone else.”

He snorts against your neck and pokes your tummy where his hand had rested before, slowly but surely retracting his body from yours. “Mean. I can’t help that women are going crazy for me.”

Yeah, and sadly you were not an exception to that, but he couldn’t know that. That secret would be buried with you someday.

Rolling a safe distance away from you, he stretches and yawns loudly, before watching you as you turn around and face him. Was he imagining things or did you look sad. His heart clenches painfully in his chest. His body was urging him to just crawl closer to you and pull you against him again, this time up front, but he knew that would have been a bad idea. And since his brain was actually active this time, he decided against it, giving you a lopsided smile instead.

“Breakfast?”

“Breakfast!” you respond as you wriggle to the edge of the bed and get up, following your friend to his tiny kitchen. On your way there, you pick up his hoodie, which was still thrown over the couch, because now that his body wasn’t providing warmth for you anymore, you felt awfully cold.

After putting it on, you join Makki in the kitchen. He was facing away from you and you had to physically restrain yourself from just going and hugging him from behind. Rubbing your eyes and massaging your temples a little, you step beside him and help him set up breakfast silently. Then you eat and fall back into your usual cheeky banter and not very serious conversations.

Hanamaki didn’t miss that you’d put on his sweater as soon as you’d stepped out of his bedroom. He didn’t know what to make of it, though. It was only making things hard for him again. How did other men do this? How did they not die immediately when they saw their girlfriends wear their clothes? And why was this affecting him so much. They were only clothes after all. When you got up to freshen up in the bathroom, he clears away everything except for your mug. He knew you’d need another coffee to function, so he poured you one before sitting down on his couch again, putting on his playstation. He figured you could do a lazy day before going to the police station later. Besides, he really wanted to kick your ass in Mario Cart once again. You were always so cute when you got angry because of a game. Hanamaki snickered just by thinking about it. The day flew by after that, as you couldn’t stop battling each other. Every time someone won, the other was pleading for a rematch. So by the time you actually got up to go to the police station it was late afternoon. You switched into your own jeans before going out, but asked if you could keep wearing his shirt and hoodie. Supposedly you had stained your own shirt at the coffee shop yesterday. Makki only smiled and nodded, he knew that was a lie. But if his clothes made you feel more comfortable who was he to judge. Despite his heart exploding at the sight, he found it endearing. Hanamaki could tell you were getting anxious the closer you got to the police station. Were you maybe overreacting and he wasn’t even stalking you? Maybe it had been a coincidence that he had been there after you’d closed down the store…

“Hey, you alright?” Makkis’ voice rips you out of your thoughts. Giving him a smile that didn’t reach your eyes you nod. “Just thinking… you don’t think I’m overreacting right?”

“You’re kidding right? Of course you’re not overreacting. That man has been stalking you for weeks now.” You just stare at your feet then. So you weren’t overreacting. That didn’t make you feel better. Sighing you continue to walk on, Makki right beside you. He could tell you were overthinking this, so he nudged your shoulder to make you look up at him. “I’m here with you, okay.” And then he holds out his hand again, wiggling his eyebrows at you. He was a little sad that this didn’t mean the same to you as it did to him, but if he could hold your hand this way and make you calm down a little, he would endure it. When you reach out and accept the offer, he regards it with a “Good girl.” Laughing, you start swinging your hands slightly, while answering. “What am I Hiro, your dog?”

He only chuckles in return. “Want a treat then?” Your heart skips a beat at that offer. Of course you’d take any treat you could get from him, but you were pretty sure you were thinking of very different things than he was. Trying not to focus on his lips, you stare ahead. “I wouldn’t say no to that hot coco again.”

Then you were finally standing in front of the police station. Anxiously stopping and taking a few quick breaths, Hanamaki detangles your hands, before putting his hands at your shoulders, slightly massaging them while gently pushing you forward.

“C’mon, let’s get this over with. And then I’ll promise, I’ll make you another hot chocolate soon.”

Snorting, you let your friend move you inside. He was right, you thought, I should just get this over with. The police luckily didn’t think you were overreacting and started taking actions for you immediately, so that when you left the station later you actually felt a little relieved. You would have to inform them again when that freak turned up at your job so they could help you for real, but it was a start. Feeling very thankful for Makki, who had guided that conversation whenever he could feel you falter, you reach out on your own this time to take his hand. He looked a little surprised, but to your relief he didn’t pull away. You walked in silence until you reached your home. Hanamaki decided then that he’d make sure you were as safe as you could be, so he got on the elevator with you.

When you were standing in front of your door, you let go of his hand as he stood in front of you. Looking up at him you feel another wave of want rush over you. Following your sudden urge, you get on your tiptoes and pull him into a hug. You could tell he was a little stunned, but after a second he embraces you was well, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Thank you Hiro… I don’t know what I would have done without you the last two days.”

“For you, always. You know that, right?”

Nodding, you lean back and break the hug, because you could tell the time for a normal friends hug was running rather thin.

And then you get bold and stand on your tiptoes again to plant a firm kiss on his cheek, before turning around and vanishing in your flat, leaving your friend standing there with a dumbfounded expression and a deep blush on his face.

Fuck that had been stupid. You shouldn’t have done that. Throwing your bag in a corner you cram for your phone, you needed to talk to someone about the last two days and you knew exactly whom to call for that. Sitting down on your floor, you face call him. Hopefully he was already up. When his tired face flashes on your display you let out a sigh. Thank god.

“Morning Y/n. Calling me rather early, aren’t you?” He was having breakfast, you could tell as he munches on some kind of cereal, coffee in his other hand. He looked tired and exhausted, but you would be as well at barely 7am. You always forgot the huge time difference.

“Yeah sorry about that Tooru. Listen.” You brush your fingers over your hair agitated. “My co-worker said you knew I like Makki. Is that right?”

Oh, he liked that, there was immediately a little mischievous glint in his eyes as he leans a little forward, attention spiked. “Yeah I know about that. Why? Did something happen?” he asks nonchalantly, while sipping on his coffee.

“I slept with Makki.”

As soon as Oikawa started choking on said coffee, you realized that you probably should have phrased that a little differently.

“Oh my god, not like that Tooru.”

“What the hell was I supposed to think if you put it like that!?” he coughs.

“Good point.” You laugh. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine, now tell me what happened. And please be precice this time.”

So you give him a quick summary of the last two days and what had happened between you and Hanamaki. Which in retrospect didn’t seem like much, but Oikawas shit eating grin told you otherwise.

“You kissed him?” he asks, while stuffing his face with another spoonful of cereal.

Nodding, you wait for what he was about to tell you. Probably that you were an idiot and just ruined your friendship.

“When was that?”

Well you hadn’t expected that question. Throwing a quick glance at the clock you answer him. “Around 5 minutes ago?”

“Go outside then, if you’re lucky he’s still there.”

Scrunching up your face, you only stare at your phone disbelievingly. “Didn’t you listen to what I just said? That was over 5 minutes ago. He’s long gone.”

“Oh my god Y/n, Makki has had the hots for you for months now, probably longer, if you just kissed him on the cheek out of the blue he was probably blown away. Chances are good he’s still standing in front of your door. Check it at least. If I’m wrong we can continue talking.”

Hanamaki still standing in front of your door? Impossible. And you were going to prove it to him. “You’re insufferable Oikawa, I swear. I don’t even know why I miss you so much sometimes.” You stood up and went for your door, already pushing down the handle. “Also how would you know Makki has the hots for……me” you finish as you open the door and there he was, standing in front of you with a flabbergasted look on his face: Hanamaki.

“He’s there isn’t he?” Oikawas’ smug voice came from your phone, forgotten in your hand as you stared into your friends face. “Good luck then.” And then there was only the sound of a disconnected call. That bastard had just hung up on you.

The seconds dragged as you two stood there, staring each other in the face. Makki couldn’t bear it any longer after a while. “Well…. This is awkward.”

You crack a smile as you still muster his face and step a little bit closer. He seriously had still been standing in front of your door. That was a good sign, right? Maybe Oikawa was right and he really liked you. Maybe you had misinterpreted everything that had happened the last two days and he was really into you. Only one way to find out, right?

“Hiro. Do you like me by any chance?” You could feel your own face heat up at that very direct question.

He sighs in response and ruffles his hair, looking everywhere except you, before he found the courage to look you in the eyes. It was over now, was it not? Except there was a hopeful look in your eyes. That and your hand had unconsciously reached out and clawed at the front of his hoodie. A slow smile spread on his lips. Maybe this wasn’t the end, but the beginning.

“Yes I like you. A lot.” He steps a little closer, eyes not straying from your face, seizing your reaction. “I should have told you sooner.” He takes another step to you and your other hand finds his hoodie as well, clutching it in your hands and tugging on it slightly, your stomach dropping at his confession. He liked you. He liked you, too. And then he completely closes the gap between you as he reaches for your face, tilts it up and finally kisses you. His lips were soft on yours and the kiss was a little clumsy and very short, but you could feel his lips pull into a smile as he breaks it.

“So as I’m not getting punched in the face right now, does that mean you like me, too?”

You can’t help it then, you laugh and rest your forehead against his chest.

“Yes. I like you, too.” Pulling on his hoodie a little again and looking up into his eyes you frown. “Say, how long have you liked me?”

He chuckles at that. “Embarrassingly long. Why?”

You pinch him in the side. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner!? I was slowly dying inside this whole time.” Makki actually flinches at that, before answering: “Well I didn’t know you liked me, too? I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Well you could understand that… it had been the exact reason why you hadn’t told him either.

“C’mon, let’s get inside” you suggest and pull him into your flat. “I think we need to talk.”

“Ugh I don’t want to talk.” He complains, but follows you nonetheless. There were many other things on his mind now that he knew you liked him, too, many of them far more exciting than talking.

Throwing him a glance over your shoulder while you close the door behind him you ask: “What do you want to do then? Don’t you think we sho-“

You were cut short then as he presses you against the door behind you and kisses you again. His hand was cradling your neck as his other found the way around your hip to pull you closer against him. He was a little rougher this time and your hands moved on their own, one going around him for leverage as the other tangles in the hair at the nape of his neck, making him groan against your lips, followed by a low mumbled “fuck” against your mouth before crushing his lips on yours again immediately. You get a hold of one of his belt loops and pull him even closer, feeling lightheaded as he graces his tongue over your lower lip before gently nibbling on it. Your knees were getting seriously weak at that point, so you push him away from you, earning an apologizing half smile from him. “Too much? Sorry…”

A little breathless you shake your head and just continue to shove him into your living room before pushing him down on your couch and promptly flopping down on him.

He started smirking then. “Oh? I thought you wanted to talk?”

You punch him in the chest.

“Shut up. We can do that later.” You protest, putting your arms around his neck and lowering your face. “Now do that again.”

Makki only snorts at that, before letting one hand wander to your neck and pulling you in again. “Gladly.”

And then his lips were on yours again, a little firmer, a little more daring, a little more confident.

 Ok Bonus Scene because I’m a sucker for teasing this boy:

Later that night when you were lying on his chest, lips swollen, eyes tired, but entirely happy you snort while thinking of something. “Hiro? You’ll have to be a good boyfriend to me.”

“Mh? Why?” he asks as he nuzzles his nose against your head.

“Because if you’re not, I will tell Mattsun that you got a boner from just kissing me,” you state before snickering devilishly. “And he will never let you forget about it.”

You could feel him laugh under you as well as he hides his face behind his hand, even though you were not looking at him. “I feared you noticed that.”

Grinning, you put your head up a little, letting your eyes roam over his face as he peeked out between his spread fingers. “Well… it only means you really like me right? I’m honored.” Resting your chin on his shoulder again, you murmur: “Also you’re already a perfect boyfriend, so I don’t think you need to be scared.”

“Awww.” He fake coos at your sentiment, but brushes his fingers over your back in gentle circles either way. Suddenly jerking, he sits up a little. “That makes me think of… have I ever told you how my ex-girlfriend broke off with me?”

“Makki are we seriously cuddling for the first time and you want to tell me about your ex-girlfriend?”

“You’re gonna love this” he promises, already laughing, “I believe after she slapped me, her actual wording was ‘Maybe you should date and fuck your friend Y/n since you’re being a better boyfriend to her already than you are to me’.”

You chuckle against his neck. “Seriously?”

Nodding, he rests his head against yours. “Guess she was right, after all. That was actually the time I decided trying to date someone else was pointless…”

“You’re simping Makki.”

“You have no idea.” He presses a kiss against your forehead. “Yesterday evening I was contemplating to jump from the balcony because I thought that would have been less painful than not being able to touch you.”

Grinning broadly, you peck him on his cheek. “You can touch me all you want now. I’m all yours.”

“Yes, you’re mine now.”

A second later you could feel his hands sneakily move under your, or more likely

his shirt that you were still wearing, continuing to caress your skin.

[foodbytesback]

The Rise and Fall of Bon Appetit

Sometimes life comes at you fast.  Sometimes, that means stories in the food industry break in such rapid succession that you have no time to blink in between.  Sometimes, it means someone found out about something racist you did a few years ago.  What happens when it’s both?  Ask the fine folks at Bon Appetit.

In recent years, Bon Appetit made a name for itself, rising from the ashes of dying print media, through its Youtube channel featuring a diverse cast of personalities.  But over the course of this past week, many of the publication’s executives have been found to foster a toxic workplace culture, rife with racism, sexism and homophobia.  

Before I get too deep (because this is going to be a long one), I feel the need to point out that while this story’s breaking happened to coincide with Black Lives Matter protests across the country and gained traction from people’s outrage towards inequality, the events that have unfolded should not be blamed on “cancel culture,” “political correctness run amok” or any other reactionary dismissal of critical thinking.  Adam Rapoport didn’t lose his job because Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter came to be because of the damage that many in positions of power like Rapoport have done in both mainstream media and society as a whole.

[Also, yes, there are going to be a lot of links to Instagram posts that have been screenshotted and uploaded to Twitter.  Clearly the real takeaway from this debacle is that I need to get an Instagram account.  Also also, thanks to Tumblr’s new rules about offsite links, you’ll have to go to my main site for the full receipts.]

Preamble

Shortly after the killing of George Floyd, Adam Rapoport, Editor-in-Chief at Bon Appetit, wrote an editorial highlighting some of the coverage they’ve given to black chefs.  Many criticized this as being superficial and performative, with others saying that BA has, on numerous occasions, shut down articles relating to black culture for not being “trendy” enough or otherwise was discriminatory towards black employees. (Also, the repeated use of “uprisings” instead of “protests” seems a little suspicious.)

An article from Eater criticized the role BA played in the appropriating and whitewashing of many cultures’ ingredients and cuisines (gochujang, Aleppo pepper, and sumac seem to be some of BA’s favorite ingredients) that had become prevalent in food media in recent years.

While it’s a fairly minor offense in comparison, it may also be worth bringing up the time Rapoport accidentally called Priya Krishna “Sohla,” the name of his other Indian employee.

Monday, June 8th

Food writer Tammie Teclemariam posted a screencap of an Instagram post made by Rapoport’s wife, which depicted the two of them donning Puerto Rican stereotypes as Halloween costumes, brownface and all.    

Many were quick to declare their outrage and demand that Rapoport either resign or be fired.  Meanwhile, Sohla El-Waylly, one of the leading stars of the Youtube channel, was one of the first BA employees to speak up, and disclosed that this kind of behavior was just the tip of the iceberg.  She said that BIPOC workers have been paid disproportionately for their work, including not being paid a per-video commission that the white stars of the Youtube channel receive. 

Molly Baz, one of the aforementioned white stars, announced that she would no longer make videos for BA until all of El-Waylly’s demands were met.  One by one, their white coworkers chimed in in agreement.  

Former staff photographer Alex Lau also wrote an extensive tweet thread about his experiences at BA, including how he had futilely tried to fix the system from within.

By the end of Monday, Adam Rapoport had resigned from his position as Editor-in-Chief.

Tuesday, June 9th  

Since Rapoport’s official resignation did little to fix many of the systemic problems in place at BA, many began to turn their attention to other senior members of the staff.

Some came for Andrew Knowlton, the Restaurant Editor, for behaviors such as gaslighting an employee for trying to bring up racist practices in the offices.

Others called out Matthew Duckor, a VP at Conde Nast and BA’s former “Head of Video” (Did a 3 year old come up with that job title?), for a series of old racist and homophobic tweets.  He tried to apologize by saying that he was young and didn’t know any better at the time, but many were quick to point out that he was, at the youngest, 20, aka for all intents and purposes An Adult when he wrote those tweets. 

Tammie Teclemariam returned to ask current and former BA employees to DM her information about Duckor that they didn’t want to go public with themselves, ranging from his hand in the aforementioned pay disparity to making inappropriate comments towards women.

Teclemariam also did even more social media muckraking and found that Drinks Editor Alex Delany had once decorated a cake to look like a Confederate flag, while others found things like a Vine where he says the f-slur and some questionable comments about women on this Tumblr.  He later deleted his Tumblr and Twitter, and issued a cookie-cutter apology on his Instagram.

She also vague-tweeted that Brad Leone, one of the most beloved stars of the Youtube channel, is “possibly not a great guy,” but later added, “don’t fret.” At that point, some began to accuse her of just trying to stir the pot.

Ultimately, Matt Hunziker, director and camera operator for Leone’s show, reported that the higher ups were ignoring the situation regarding the pay disparity, and that they were not “learning and growing.”

Wednesday, June 10th

By this point, journalists were able to do more thorough investigations and put together exposés that were more than a blurb about an accusation followed by a nut graph.

Business Insider published an article where they interviewed 14 current and former BIPOC employees of Bon Appetit.  In addition to information already discussed above, it also described events such as an incident where several BIPOC staffers were told they weren’t allowed the test kitchen. (Carla Lalli Music, the Food Director at the time, would later defend her stance in the affair on Twitter.)  Ryan Walker-Hartshorn, a black woman who served as Rapoport’s personal assistant, recalled that she would often spend her day doing menial tasks like polishing her boss’s golf clubs or trying to teach his wife how to use Google Calendar.  In another incident, Knolton called Rick Martinez a “one trick pony” for only developing Mexican recipes, which is what he was being forced to do so BA could tout “diversity” bonus points.  Martinez would also say that the magazine under Rapoport’s tenure “went from old and irrelevant and white-washed content to young and trendy white-washed content." (Martinez would also upload a more graphic description of the treatment he received  to his Instagram that same day.) Later that day, Business Insider would also report that Duckor had left the company.

Vice would liken Rapoport to Michael Scott from The Office, but noted that that kind of bumbling, endearingly insensitive bad boss archetype isn’t as charming in the real world where real employees are being affected.  Parallels were also drawn between the Youtube channel and The Office itself, stating that the “quirky workplace” facade put on in the videos helped hide the more sinister practices that lurked beneath the surface, and that the notion that they were “one big family” often pressured BIPOC into doing more than their fair share for the greater good.

Jezebel showed email transcripts where Rapoport argued the semantics of having his costume be called “brownface” when he wasn’t wearing makeup, and had to be explained to, like a child, that the term refers to the racist caricature and not the literal act of putting brown makeup on one’s face.  What a douche.

Bon Appetit published an official apology on their site, a whole two days after the controversy began.  Many believed that their empty promises of “learning from their mistakes” were a day late and a dollar short.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, former BA writer Alyse Whitney said that senior editor Andy Baraghani had, on several occasions, used his influence to undermine her efforts. Whether this had to do with racism, sexism, or just Andy being petty is up for debate, but still constitutes as unprofessional behavior to say the least.

Thursday, June 11th

As interest in the story seemed to wane for many in the industry, Claire Saffitz, arguably the face of the Youtube channel, released another statement on her Instagram.  She said that her relative silence was due to taking time to find the right words, and that the same-old promises to “learn and grow” that most had been giving felt empty and performative. Unlike many of her white coworkers, she directly apologized for being complicit in the toxic environment  and for not using her status to try to leverage even pay for her BIPOC coworkers.  

Another BA Youtube personality, Amiel Stanek, also released a statement in response to BA’s official press release, where he demanded Conde Nast to stop avoiding action by setting vague timelines for changes or making excuses for not giving BIPOC workers raises like “the money just isn’t there.”

Associate editor Christina Chaey also opened up about her experiences with being pushed into more and more videos to “diversify” them- all without compensation.  

Friday, June 12th

The biggest scandal of the day was that, as Teclemariam predicted, Brad Leone is possibly not a great guy.  A leaked screenshot of an Instagram DM showed him making callous, almost Trump-y comments regarding El-Waylly’s demand for better pay.  He also allegedly said that if Delany were to be fired (as of that day he had been sent on leave), he would quit.

Saturday, June 13th

The New York Times published an article suggesting that the issues prevalent in BA’s management may go all the way to the top of Conde Nast.  Highlights include Chief Executive Roger Lynch chastising the whistleblowers within the company for raising their concerns in such a public manner and an account of an incident where he gave his black assistant a guidebook on how to speak “proper” English.

The Sporkful released a special episode of their podcast containing interviews with several current and former BA BIPOC workers.  Nikita Richardson divulged that after she was laid off, a story she had already done all the leg work for was picked up and credited to Amanda Shapiro, a white staff writer who is now acting Editor-in-Chief in lieu of Rapoport.  Sohla El-Waylly confirmed that the self-congratulatory editorial Rapoport wrote in the wake of George Floyd’s death was the real beginning of the end, and that the racist photo was just the final straw.  She also described a company-wide Zoom meeting held after the photo began to be spread around where Rapoport issued a half-hearted apology, and began talking about how he would “fix the brand” before El-Waylly demanded he resigned.  Furthermore, she revealed that after her Instagram posts began circulating rapidly, Duckor had offered her a new contract with increased pay, but she is refusing to sign it until all BIPOC have received similar compensation.  She also said that she had a hand in the wishy-washy statement that BA had published on Wednesday, and said that it originally had taken much firmer stances on the issues but their PR office made them tone it down.  Also, she commented that Leone, for the most part, just seemed like she “genuinely think[s] [that he] just found out racism is real.”  Ultimately, she was glad that the story was getting as much coverage as it was, since it made her feel that her voice was finally being heard.

Sunday, June 14th

Baraghani released a statement on Instagram apologizing for his behavior, saying that trying to achieve his personal goals in BA’s toxic, competitive environment made him lose sight of solidarity with his fellow BIPOC.  

While that may seem like the end of the story for now, it’s important to note that, even with the resignation of two executives, nothing has truly been done to fix the systemic problems at hand.

[catsandstrawberries]

Hi do you take request ?If yes, can you do a platonic BTS x reader where reader is coming out to them ?

(I’m personally Bi , aro ,ace and non binary,but if you’d rather do something else it’s fine too!)

Sexual Identity Crisis 

Pairing: 8th member x bts (platonic)

Word Count: 1.6k 

A/N: I hope you don't mind but I made the reader bisexual and use she/them pronouns, I also made it platonic as in 8th member. Hope you like it! (this is unedited so sorry for grammer)

It was the little things that you first started to notice.

The way you would blush on stage during a performance when an army would call your name. The squeals for your attention no longer embarrassing or cute but stirring something deep within you. You never liked the idea of dating as an artist, too much drama, too many things, too many feelings.

But it wasn't until you were preparing for one of your solo songs, one of the noona artists your age fixing up your makeup, you started to notice. You started paying attention to the way some of the noona's would wear leggings that fit tight to their bodies, or how gentle their hands felt on you.

It only confused you more when you felt the same for guys. The harsh jawline, the big hands, thinking about it made you flush.

During interviews, as you sat next to your brothers, and tried not to seem as disinterested as you felt, they would ask you the question.

"Who is your ideal type?"

Images. Images of curvy bodies and plush skin, hard stomachs, gentle hands to caress your face, and thick fingers to ground you.

"I don't think I have a type." You respond with a smile. Deflect a few more questions, just as you deflected the feelings within.

Whenever you felt panicked you liked to make lists. You were good at that. A few things to take note of,

One: You might not be straight.

Then you met Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello and fuck you've never wanted to have a threesome so bad.

One: You're bisexual.

Then you had another jaw-dropping, mind-altering revelation.

It was caused by TikTok. BigHit thought it would be a great idea for BTS as a band to post a series of TikToks to help gain attraction and give content to the fans.

It was really fun.

Pulling pranks on the boys like cutting the power in Jungkooks room when he was playing video games or handing Jin salt instead of sugar for his coffee gained a huge following.

But on rainy days when you had no work to do (which rarely happened), instead of making videos, you would scroll through the app. It caused your heart to stutter, the users on the app who smirked and winked at the camera made you feel so nervous. As if someone would spot you and your secret would be revealed to the world.

But then your eyes would linger on a few guys. As the only girl in BTS oftentimes you were trademarked to be the girly girl, or on the extremist side of the gender spectrum. But you had always secretly wished to hold the same power your brothers did. Some days you hated the weight on your chest and wished your boobs could pop right off. You wanted to be like Jimin who was so fluid in his gender identity and wear tux's and give

smolders to the fans.

Two: Your pronouns were she/they.

Three: You need to tell your brothers.

Well, you didn't need to tell them. But you wanted to. As the youngest and declared golden maknae duo with Jungkook, they had practically raised you.

You love them.

You started small.

"Hey, Hoseok, have you seen (G)I-DLE's new music video, oh my god'?"

You were in the dance studio refining the black swan dance for an upcoming performance when you asked him. Taking a chug of water as you watched his reaction.

"Of course I did! They're trending right now, after I watched the teaser video I was hooked."

"Soojin looked hot." Fuck, you meant to bring it up more calmly but it comes out rushed in one breath.

You feel yourself flush but get back onto the dance floor, hoping that it will pass off as exhaustion.

"If you want to hang out with her, I'm sure PR won't have an issue with it," Jin comments from the side, and you just nod hoping to change the conversation.

The next time it happened, you and the boys were traveling in America to go on James Cordon's show. It was supposed to be a casual interview but nothing ever casual in America.

"So Jungkook, (y/n), you were at the Grammys a couple of weeks ago, right?"

You and jungkook both nod, and you get a strange pit in your stomach for being called out like that.

"Well, you both had such strong reactions to meeting them!" Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

"(y/n) Shawn Mendes is quite beautiful, isn't he?"

"I think a lot of people are beautiful, but he is very good looking." You wince as you feel Namjoons gaze burn into the back of your head.

"Interesting."

James continues asking questions to your brothers and delves into several female celebrities, and after what feels like forever, it's over.

Then you're in the car with Taehyung, Jin, and Jungkook and the maknae starts to mimic you.

"I think a lot of people are beautiful but Shawn Mendes is so cute oh I could look into his eyes forever-

"Shut up Kook!" and then you take a breath and mumble under your breath,

"Camilla is pretty too." Little did you know that Jungkook was too busy making kissy faces to hear you, but Jin and Taehyung definitely share a look.

The third time is when the band is having a dress rehearsal and the style is very edgy and the boys are dressed in jewelry and punk rock and eyeliner, but they want to put you in this white frilly dress even though you have to dance, and...and you just don't want it.

So when one of the Noonas isn't looking you grab one of Yoongis discarded outfits and put it on, a pair of black skinny jeans, a metal chain, and a white tea with a black suit blazer.

When you go to show the boys they don't make a fuss, and you hope no one notices it's not your original outfit. But then one of the noonas is bringing you the dress and you're casually walking away from her but she starts to shout,

"(y/n), isn't this your original outfit? Where did you find that?"

But then Jimin is throwing an arm around you and glancing you up and down, "Ugh, our little maknae is growing up, can she wear this instead noona?"

And the girl just huffs out a fine while Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, "I got your back."

But you never could have imagined telling them like this. You wanted to sit all of them down and pass around hot chocolate and have a revelation about your sexuality and gender status.

But no, nothing can ever go your way.

Hobi was introducing Becky G to the 7 of you in person. It was a few months after chicken noodle soup had come out and she had decided to stop in Korea for a break on her solo tour. Hobi thought it was only right for the rest of BTS to meet her since they had worked so well together.

It was the way she walked into the room with so much confidence, wearing whatever the hell she wanted, and glancing at you with a wink as she bowed and repeated the mantra she had been learning for weeks.

"Annyeonghaseyo, (y/n)!" Respond back to her, it's not that hard. Just say hello.

"I'm so fucking gay."

You could literally feel the temperature in the room change and even some of your security guards passed you a look.

Shit.

"Well not like, fully gay, I'm bisexual."

Why are you still talking!?

An awkward chuckle left your mouth as sets of eyes stared at you, and as if you couldn't make things any more uncomfortable, you added,

"I want to use she/they pronouns."

"(y/n), love, we aren't mad." You had just arrived back at the dorms and immediately sprinted for your room but Namjoon was hot on your heels.

"Got her." You squealed as Jungkook wrapped his arm around you and practically dragged you to the common area.

"So you swing both ways?" Jimin added nonchalantly both of his legs tossed over your lap, "that is the best way to live life, dear."

"Jimin! Not helping" Jin berated before taking a seat next to you on the couch,

"How long have you known?"

"I feel like, subconsciously I've known for a while, but I didn't really accept it until six months ago."

Jin winces at your words,

"did you think we would be mad? Six months is a long time."

"It must have been hard to keep that to yourself," Yoongi adds, rubbing a soft circle into your palm.

Namjoon sighs from the loveseat next to Tae, "Look, (y/n), you're our little sister, and we will never be mad at you for doing what you need to do to be comfortable in your own skin."

"We'll always support you, in fact, if you need any lady advice-" Tae's suggestive smirk is cut off by Hobi who smacks him on the back of the head.

"Now is not the time!?"

"Whether or not you want to go public with this information is up to you, but we'll need to talk to Bang PD if so." You nod at Namjoons words but thinking about going public makes your head spin.

"But Namjoon, if they don't want to, we can keep it our little secret, right?" Jimin's use of the pronoun causes you to shift your eyes to him, and before you know it you're attacking him in a hug.

Namjoon adds with a smile on his face,

"of course, whenever they're ready."

[heliads]

Can’t Leave

Y/N is a HYDRA scientist. Pietro Maximoff is her latest patient. Will Y/N be able to keep Pietro safe in the HYDRA base, even when her own life is in danger?

masterlist

You stare at the ceiling, exhaling softly. Machines beep and whir behind you, and you try to remember everything you were supposed to do before the soldiers arrived. Have needles ready for blood transfusions, check. Make sure the x-ray scanners are functioning, check. Have all the necessary documents and paperwork that are scattered about your desk, check. This is the life of a HYDRA scientist- procedure after procedure.

You weren’t always like this, someone wishing fervently that the end of the day would come so they could block out everything that had just happened from their mind. When things had gotten bad all those years ago, HYDRA had come knocking and you had, unfortunately, answered them. It wasn’t entirely your fault- you needed a way to support your family and HYDRA needed a new scientist. The deal could practically sell itself. It doesn’t matter that you were forced to take part in procedures that weren’t exactly up to the proper ethical standards, or that although the job was advertised as ordinary you knew you would be killed the second you put up your two weeks’ notice. HYDRA was your life now, and you would do well to stand by it.

A knock at the door distracts you from your gloomy thoughts. “Come in.” You call, and the soldiers you’ve been expecting march in, dragging with them one unconscious man. He appears to be about your age, and he’s clearly been drugged so he would be easier to transport. The soldiers strap the man into a hospital bed and then march out just as quickly, leaving behind a few men as guards in case this particular patient tried anything too risky.

You prepare a few sensors and apply them along the man’s arms and legs, then turn to a nearby screen. As the man begins to stir and wake, you study his vital signs. All seems well, except for the fact that his heart is beating far faster than any normal human man. This is to be expected- Pietro Maximoff has been given superhuman abilities, and so he will behave as superhumans do.

The man is fully awake now, and watches you with furtive eyes as you ignore him in favor of studying the readouts in front of you. You prepare a needle, then turn to him. “This is a penicillin shot. It will help with your recovery.” The man looks at you in confusion. “You know, for a HYDRA doctor you seem less crazy than the others. Are you actually a doctor or have they brought in a nurse to placate me and make it seem like HYDRA’s doing the right thing?”

One of the guards struts over to Pietro and glares down at him. “I would advise you to hold your tongue, Maximoff. Remember that you signed up for this.” Pietro returns the glare. “I remember that I was a little forced for a volunteer. Tell me, are all your human test subjects kidnapped or are you just low on new victims.” The guard draws his fist back to strike Pietro, but you fling out a hand to stop him. 

“Corporal! The goal is to check on his vitals, not try to damage him. Please return to your post by the door.” The guard looks at you with blank eyes. “He insulted you as well as HYDRA. He deserves punishment.” You shake your head calmly. “The procedures you’ve asked me to run do not involve the protection of my ego. They should not involve yours either.” The guard gives Pietro one last icy look, then storms off to stand beside the other guard on the far side of the room.

Pietro looks up at you in bewilderment, then speaks softly. “Why did you do that?” You glance over at him bemusedly. “Do what?” Pietro looks back at the guard, making sure he can’t be heard. “Why did you stop him? No other doctors would have intervened, no matter how healthy they were supposed to be keeping me.” You laugh softly. “I may work for HYDRA, but I’m not completely a monster. I didn’t want to see you get beaten when you were literally tied down.”

Over the next few days, you continue to check in on Pietro. You run his vitals, you give him necessary injections to make sure the newly given powers won’t kill him, and you find time to have conversations with him. You’re not quite sure why you’re so drawn to this metahuman, but the look in his eyes when he sees you is enough to make you realize that he depends on you not only for physical strength, but to make sure he has one bright light in his otherwise dark existence.

A few weeks after the final procedures have taken place, it’s time to start testing what he can do. Pietro refuses to work with any doctors other than you, saying that it’s because the others were more interested in their own gain than actually trying to help him. The HYDRA higher-ups bought it, but you know that in reality, Pietro wants to make sure he uses his powers in front of someone who won’t torture him if he doesn’t do exactly what is wanted of him.

One day, though, he comes into your training session with a wretched look on his face. You walk over to him quickly. “What’s wrong?” Pietro just sighs disgustedly. “All these chemicals they’re forcing into me- they’re not just affecting my mind, now they’re affecting my body, too.” You look at him closer, and realize that he does not look well. He has dark circles under his eyes, his skin looks pale and waxy, and his hair is turning a bleached white. 

You frown at him sadly. “I’m sorry about that. I’ll see if there’s any way I can reduce the medications or something to stop that from happening.” You look back at him, a smile starting to form across your lips. “I do like the new look, though. Blond suits you.” He laughs at that. “Good to know.”

Sooner than you’d like, you get a tip-off from a commander that the Maximoff twins will be pulled to take part in some mission, and they won’t be back for a while. You do your best to finish Pietro’s training, making sure that he’ll be able to defend himself if necessary. You hope against hope that he won’t see danger, that he’ll come back to you unharmed.

You shake your head confusedly. Why are you so worried about Pietro? He’s certainly not the first patient you’ve had, nor the first one you’ve been so deeply involved with. What is it about the light-haired man that makes you so captivated by him?

Pietro finds you the second he hears about his upcoming assignment. He says it’s just to make sure that everything is in order and there’s no worry of his organs shutting down or something, but you know why he’s there the second the doors close behind him.

“There’s no chance that I’m ever coming back. You know that- you have to request to be transferred to that base! If you find a way to make it there, at least I know you won’t be gone forever. You know what happens to metahumans on the missions as well as I do- if they ever come back, it’ll be after years. I need you to come.”

You sigh sadly. “Me transferring to that Sokovian base? Pietro, that’s out of the question. I can’t even request what floor of this complex to work in, let alone what base or what country. I appreciate your concern, but I’m afraid you’ll have to go by yourself. At least you’ll have Wanda there, right?” Pietro looks frustrated. “If you stay here by yourself, I won’t be able to protect you, from invasion or HYDRA soldiers alike. If you come with me, I know you’ll be safe.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. “You protecting me? Pietro, are you listening to yourself? When they say you and your sister are the first of the metahuman soldiers, they mean the first to survive the procedures, not the first attempts. I have been saving your life since day one, even if you didn’t realize it. If I go with you, I endanger you because HYDRA will realize that you’re important to me and they’ll find some way to punish you for it.”

Pietro scoffs. “That’s right- don’t want to upset HYDRA. Will your job be on the line?” You look at him with an icy glare. “You think I wanted any of this- that I could just walk out at any time? When I first ‘joined’, my family was on the brink of starvation. If I wanted to save their lives, I had to take HYDRA up. Also, it wasn’t exactly my choice- you tell me whether threats at gunpoint sounds like a comfortable interview to you. I can’t leave this life, no matter what.”

Your tone takes a softer tone. “But you can. When you’re out there, in the base, you’ll probably have fewer guards. Promise me that you’ll try to find a way out. Whatever they’re going to ask you to do, you don’t want to do it. I can guarantee you that.” Pietro takes your hands and pulls you close to him. “I can’t leave you, Y/N.” You look at him, enjoying your last few moments with the man you’ve grown to love. “You have to. Promise me you’ll try to escape?” Pietro sighs, then presses a kiss to the top of your forehead. “I promise.”

After the Maximoff twins are shipped off to the HYDRA research base in Sokovia, you don’t hear anything about them for weeks. You’re given a new project, but somehow you can’t find the energy to be as involved with it as before. When you finally hear that the twins won’t be coming back, you’re not sure whether to be relieved or nervous. Are they safe, or were they discovered? Have they escaped HYDRA’s chains, or were they caught in the act and killed?

Every now and then, you find yourself trapped in a dream. It’s not quite a nightmare, just scraps of memories plucked from your mind and dragged in front of you. You can see yourself working with Pietro, laughing excitedly over his new powers. When you wake up, you can still feel the smile on your lips from that day all that time ago.

You push the thoughts from your head, forcing yourself to get up and get on with the day. Those times are over, and they won’t be coming back. Just as you’re about to head out to the HYDRA labs, you hear a knock on the door. Confused, you go to answer it, and are stunned when you see the blond man waiting for you. “Pietro?”

He casually saunters in. “Miss me?” You laugh and throw your arms around him. “Are you really here?” He looks at you with a smirk. “I got some good advice that I should try and find new job opportunities outside of HYDRA. I’ve come to offer you something like that.” You meet Pietro’s eyes, surprised. “What are you talking about?” His grin could outshine the sun. “There’s a little place I found in the outskirts of Sokovia, somewhere HYDRA won’t be able to find us. I think it’ll work perfectly. All I have to do is one more job for this robot guy, and we’ll be able to live our lives just as we want to.” You beam at him. “Sounds perfect.”

[writingsbychlo]

put her together again (02)

word count; 6241

summary; mitch realises just how literal your instructions an be taken, and teh extent of your trauma, before helping you get over a major breakthrough.

notes; pretty major stuff in this part, so I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing about it. I know we’re moving quiet fast through the time spaces right now, but that’s kinda’ just the way it has to go.

warnings; reference to abuse, reference to brainwashing, reference to injury.

Following a rocky introduction to his life, the ripples you caused seemed to smooth out fairly easily after that. Mitch found himself acting less and less like you were a baby in need of protection, and instead, you had become more like a simple accessory to his life. You reminded him of a cat, you didn’t really talk to him, but you simply coexisted, moving around the shared space and living together without ever having to talk.

You no longer sat in silence and sulked in your room, though, because he’d managed to coax you out. Simple tasks and basic chores meant you were pulling your weight around the house, and he definitely notice that you’d occasionally things would be in slightly different places, objects cleaned an inspected while he wasn’t looking, as you learned your whereabouts. Books to read, paper and pencils to draw with, anything he could think of to try and get a little information of you, because talking never worked.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying, this wasn’t exactly his ideal assignment, a year out of action as he babysat a moody assassin wasn’t something he thought he’d be spending his life doing, and so he was determined to try and make breakthroughs with you and learn as much about you as he possibly could, because the sooner you started talking and making progress, the sooner you’d be off of his hands. He just had to ensure you were stable and functional enough to undergo whatever therapy and rigorous interviewing it was that Irene had lined up for you.

You’d had a few conversations with him, which were mostly one-sided as he spoke and you stared at him with that same blank look, and over what had been almost a month now, Mitch had flittered through a range of emotion. Confusion, concern, anger, irritation, helplessness, and now back to confusion. This confusion, however, was mixed with some form of sadness and pity for you, the broken-toy vibe that you gave off made him permanently feel depressed and exhausted himself, and he was grateful for the reprieve when you seemed to perk up - even just a little bit - while reading of drawing.

The books were mostly just everything that he had around at the time, and you must’ve read everything on his shelves at least twice right now, even the ones written in Arabic that he’d forgotten he’d ever owned, which had lead to an interesting discovery that you apparently knew five languages fluently, and had a reasonable understanding of a further three. You were still icy and cold with him, and so he gave up on trying to ask you what the drawings meant, encouraging you to just draw whatever came to your mind when you picked up a pencil, most of your doodles and scribbles meaning nothing to him, but he faxed copies of them all over to Irene, and saved them in a folder when you were done with them.

The most startling thing he had learned, though, was just how young you’d been when you were taken.

A simple series of questions he’d asked you one day over dinner, stemming from his desperate attempt to find out more about you at the beginning o week two, an answer that had shaken him to his very core and sent his insides twisting in disgust and sadness for you, and his appetite had quickly drained after hearing your response. All he had asked was how old you were, how long you’d been doing this, and you had seemed entirely unaffected when you’d answered.

“Unit eight has been active for twenty years, six months and eight days - and has been in service for eleven years, three months and seventeen days.”

He remembered Irene saying that the agents were taken young, but that was younger than anybody could even remember, your life was based entirely on the way you’d been raised, on being grown and shaped into a weapon for a company that would use you until you died. You had no childhood, no young adulthood, you had nothing but the memories of a cell and an abuser, and even he had a childhood he could look back on before his own parents had passed away.

You weren’t a puzzle, you were like a broken glass, shattered on the floor and chipped, but it was his job to put you back together again. You’d never be whole, never the way you were before, you’d be splintered and cracked, but you’d no longer be shattered, and he was determined to achieve that for you.

Setting your mind up to do something productive seemed to be the best way to make progress with you, and he began to notice a steady pattern of what made you seem like you were on the verge of a breakthrough, and what made you seem like you were closing back in on yourself.

When you used shades of blue in your artwork, you seemed to be denoting happier scenes, things like snow and food, or simple sketches of what you were seeing around his home, and Mitch had decided that blue must be your favourite colour, even if you didn’t know it yourself, because you gravitated towards blue things. You liked to sit at the end of the couch with the blue cushion, and you favourite the deep navy hoodie he’d given to you, and the blue body wash in the bathroom seemed to be used up far more quickly than the yellow or red one, even though it had no scent other than sea salt, and the other two had a fruit essence that he’d originally thought you’d enjoy upon purchase.

Reds and purples seemed to donate darker times, the tips of the pencils often broken and in need of sharpening, and he had to buy those far more often than any others, because you pressed down harder into the paper, scribbling aggressively as you drew cages and corridors, until dark images with barely any white paper left revealed were created, and these must’ve been colours associated with things that hurt you in the past. Blue brought you calmness and serenity, and even made you more open to answering his questions or listening to him talk at dinner, but red and purples made your mood turn sour, and on those nights a palpable tension shrouding in darkness would often hang over the room.

You liked it when you were able to read sci-fi books, he’d noticed because his one copy of that genre on the bookshelf had never been put back after it had been picked up, always seeming to follow you around the house, even if you were on other books at the time. Mitch figured you liked to escape into another world, that you just wanted to get away from the life that you actually lived to find a better one, and he wasn’t entirely sure he blamed you. He was taking notes, jotting it down, the way you favoured certain things over another, and the way you scowled when he turned the vacuum on, but liked to sit in the laundry room when the washer was on, even though it was a little broken and rattled. The clock that clicked loudly with every second that passed was something he often found you sitting near on the bad days, your fingers twitching in time with the clicks, and he’d be damned if he said he didn’t find it at least the littlest bit endearing that you were able to search and find comfort in somewhere that was probably unfamiliar and rather scary to you.

The weeks passed on and on, your walls crumbling bit by bit as you seemed to grow more comfortable around him, choosing to sit with him on the couch when you ate dinner in the living room instead of at the table, and you had even begun to mimic some of his actions, taking on basic responsibilities around the house. You washed up, and unpacked the shopping when he brought things back, and he knew you tidied your room, because while you kept the door shut to him, he would occasionally catch a glimpse inside, and it was always spotless.

Luckily for Mitch, he’d managed to wrangle himself a few moments free at the end of each week. He set you off with a few hours worth of tasks each Friday, before slipping out to the coffee shop to get himself a well deserved hot drink and moment of quiet, before doing stopping by at the gym, and then going on to do some shopping. 

From midday until five PM every Friday afternoon, Mitch got a little bit of freedom to himself, but as of two days ago, that had gone too, Irene telling him he was to come in and start giving her actual reports on how you were doing. 

He wasn’t ready for the earlier rise this morning, and apparently, it had been a bad day. You’d spent the night screaming as you dreamt until the early hours, and so he’d only had a few moments of sleep, barely scraping himself out of bed in the morning. You’d been a challenge, to say the least, unwilling to leave your room after the awful dreams you’d had, until he’d shouted at you to come out and eat, a thing he was feeling guilty for now as you’d trudged from the room with your head hung low, and refused to meet his eye as he rushed around to get ready. 

He felt guilty about a lot of things that had happened this morning, the most important of which being the fact that he had completely forgotten to go through the list of tasks with you, which he had spent an hour and a half making for you last night as he sat in the home office, his face popped up on his hand as he leaned over the desk and started at the sheet of paper, while trying to think of ways to help you without seeming like he was taking advantage of you to do household jobs, or patronising you by treating you like an incompetent child. He had rushed out before giving you the list, the paper sitting on his desk still, the office in which you never entered, the door closed from his exit last night, and he was genuinely convened that he would come home and find you still sitting at the kitchen table, legs numb and body aching from holding yourself upright for almost five hours, a dish still sitting in front of you and hours wasted once again. 

He had realised this about thirty minutes into a meeting with Irene, one that had gone on for a further two hours, and then Stan had caught him in the corridor to discuss the upkeep on his training, before demanding a sparring session, which had taken up another hour of his time, and despite how much he knew he needed to get home to you, the two of you were rapidly running out of food, and so he was certain he needed to make at least a bare minimum shopping trip. 

And so over four hours later, with shopping bags in hand a twisting feeling in his gut, Mitch was trudging his way back up the stairs to his apartment and rifling through his pockets to find his keys, only to remember after five whole minutes, that they were clasped between his teeth. It had been a long fuckin’ day.

Muscles aching, stomach rumbling, and silence meeting him when he opened the door, Mitch let out a deep sigh as he saw you. 

It was out of relief, his lips flicking up at the sides as he realised at least one thing had gone right today. Your hair was still a little wet and your clothes were changed, clearly, you had showered, and you were peering at him over the edge of your book, face stoic and blank as you looked at him, and he kicked the door shut, moving around the room to place the bags down on the kitchen counter.

Your pencil set was out on the coffee table too, a new drawing facing upwards, this one decorated with splotches of greens and blues, a house in the foreground and a sunny day, signs along the road and toys in the garden, and it was possibly the most detailed drawing you’d done yet, similar to the line sketch you’d done a few weeks ago, the comparison in his mind flashing up as a green flag. 

“I was worried that you’d stay in that chair all day, I’m glad to see that you haven’t.”

It had almost seemed like you’d shrugged, closing the book you were reading and sitting up to look at him over the edge of the couch as he put away all the food and supplies he’d bought for you both. “Based on previous assignments, it was logical that the handler would be satisfied with the unit’s task choices.”

He stilled, mulling it all over in his mind. 

On the one hand, he was incredibly happy to see that you were gaining your ability to come up with ideas for yourself, even if you were doing it to please other people. It was the first time you’d gained a little individuality, choosing what you wanted to do from a list of ‘approved’ tasks, and just like that, he realised you’d made a pretty impressive breakthrough.

On the other hand, though, you saw him as your new handler, and that made him feel like yous aw him as a possible threat and someone who might hurt you, and he certainly never wanted you to feel like that. He wanted you to be safe with him, he wanted you to trust him and open up, not see him as someone who’d hurt you.

He finished tidying away, leaving out some pasta and basic ingredients for mac and cheese on the counter, and you were still sitting on the couch, watching him move around and waiting to be told what to do now that he was back. 

“I think we should have a schedule, y’know? We can make a routine, then you don’t have to wait for me to tell you what to do.”

“Differing to the current routine?”

If he wasn’t mistaken, there was almost a hint of judgement and sass in your voice, spoken to him like he was just supposed to know that, and he placed his hands flat on the counter, raising his brows at you. “We already have a routine?”

You fixed him with a look that he couldn't quite decipher, before getting up and walking past him, disappearing into your room for only a moment, before re-emerging, a sheet of paper clasped in your hands. 

Handwritten in the pencils you had scattered around, a pang shot through his chest as he got a glimpse of your writing, something that was unique to you, and so, in turn, felt so personal and special in a way that he couldn't quite place, but deeply appreciated. Taking a seat at the table, you pushed it towards him, head bowed down to look at the slightly stained wood, and he didn’t like standing above you, forcing you to see him as a superior, so he sat down opposite you.

Picking it up, his eyes scanned along it, taking in each and every note you had written, timeframes jotted down alongside tasks and notes, and a lot of things suddenly began to come to light about the way you acted, and when you wouldn't inevitably emerge from your bedroom, before retreating back into it. You stuck to this timetable like your life depended on it, and he was certain that at a time it had, but not anymore, and so making a routine wasn’t the direction to go in. He didn’t need to reinforce that behaviour, he needed to break you out of it. 

Your entire life up until now had been based on punishments and time frames, and so what you needed were reward and spontaneity, to show you that you still had an entire life to live, if you could just let him free you from the box you’d been forced into. Mealtimes, work out schedules, study breaks, there was no free time, your day was filled with waiting on handler tasks and basic upkeep from the moment you got up to the moment you went to bed, and he shook his head in distaste, turning it back to you.

“Do you want to go for a walk? It’s a little late, but it’s not too cold tonight.”

“Exercise is scheduled between 10 AM and 3 PM every day.” He felt his head tip to the side a little as he studied you, licking over his lower lip and bringing it to sit clenched between his teeth as he nodded. 

“I saw that, but I was thinking we could make an exception.”

“Is this an assignment?” You were pulling the paper closer to yourself, but looking up at him now, meeting his eye as you waited for an answer. 

“No, it’s not an assignment, it’s fun.”

“Fun?” You echoed him, and he grinned a little as he watched you, and there was no doubt that there was judgement in your tone this time, a slight underlay of confused mocking, and while it wasn’t quite the emotions he wanted you t greet him with, it was more than the monotone and clipped sentences that he’d been awarded so far.

“Okay, so that’s a no on the walk then, but we will come back to that.” You raised a single brow at him, and the entirety of his bad day seemed to pale into insignificance as the first semblance of a personality from you dripped in, and it turns out, you were rather sassy. “You did good today, and everyone loves pasta, so how about you let me set us off some mac and cheese, and then we can rework this routine a bit, okay?”

“Command understood.”

You sat back in the chair, giving him a curt nod and crossing your arms over your chest as you waited.  “Not a command, okay? Just a suggestion, something to be done, but I’m not commanding you.”

Your mouth opened, before you paused for a second, and he watched carefully, before you swallowed, bringing your gaze up to his own boldly. “Understood.”

“Progress.”

That statement was more for himself than for you, and he pulled out an oven dish and the jar of sauce he had, beginning to measure up pasta quantities as he prepared the meal for you both to share. During that time, he’d heard you get up, anew piece of paper being fetched and your pencil case, bringing them both back to your seat and spilling the wooden sticks out over the surface. 

He had watched on in interest as he poured you both a glass of water while you arranged the colours to your liking, perfect rows in colour order, and you seemed satisfied with your job, folding your hands into your lap as you waited on him to join you. Pulling out a chair beside you instead of opposite you, your body stiffened slightly beside his own, but you didn’t flinch away or move, and so he decided to take that as a good sign. The original schedule sat by it for comparison, one you’d work through every day, and he hovered his hands over the lines of pencils, waiting for your approval on the act, and you offered him a curt nod to allow him to pick one up. 

The first action he took was to write times along the side, knowing that he couldn't snap you out of it too much, he didn’t want to startle you or make you panic and curl back in n yourself, not when you were taking so many steps forward now, and so he wrote the times from morning to evening all the way along the side, and drew lines to match each one, before picking up two new colours of pencils. 

“I’ll be green, and you’ll be blue, okay?”

You nodded, leaning in a little as you watched him transfer some of the events and items across onto the new sheet, using the blue pencil first as you changed some things around. Breakfast was at ten o’clock instead of eight, and you would only work out for one hour a day instead of a killer five hours every day. Dinner would be at five, and you had no commitments after that, but you had household jobs scheduled at four just before you ate. 

Then, he moved onto himself, adding in green in the filler hours, such as his office work and his own workout, and he made a mental note to show you his home gym, so that you didn’t feel like you had to be locked away in your room. He also put in the time for showers and personal grooming, which was optional depending on the day, before he let out a proud sound, and presented it to you for approval. 

“There are empty spaces. Units must not be left without tasks.”

“You won’t be left without things to do.” He turned, tapping the tip of your nose with a pencil and your face screwed up at the ticklish touch, before resetting to the blank expression he was oh-so-familiar with. “Those are called free time, or downtime. Time to relax, and do whatever you want to do. Like read, or draw, or whatever.”

You only nodded, seeming suspicious of the idea, but you didn’t argue and so he was happy with that, because he had the chance to help you discover who you wanted to be, and who you were when you weren’t under anybody’s control except your own. 

“How about we say that once a week, we’ll go for a walk after dark? Just around the block, but it’ll do you good to get some fresh air.” You gave him your confirmation, and he felt like tonight you’d taken more steps in the last hour that you had in the previous six weeks of living together. Pushing his chair back, you flinched a little at the wood on the tiles, and with a mumbled apology under his breath, before he was rearranging the things pinned up on the fridge to make space for the sheet. “How about we keep this out here, where we can both see it, yeah?”

Your response game after a moment’s deliberation, but you were tucking your hands into the sleeves of the sweater in a way that made you look adorable as you let a little of you defences down again, seemingly without realising you’d done it, using his clothing like a suit of armour as you shielded yourself within them; “That would be acceptable.”

“Great. Now, it’s pasta time.” 

You didn’t fight him on that, but he did hear you sniff the air as he opened the oven, and Mitch smirked to himself as he pulled the tray out and up onto the surface, bubbling cheese sauce and steaming pasta, and he fished around for two dishes and a serving spoon with which to sort the meal with. 

Grabbing at forks and covering up the leftovers but leaving it out in case you wanted more, he placed the dish down before you, taking a seat beside you and while you didn’t say the words ‘thank you’, he saw what was most definitely a grateful look in your eyes, and he ducked his head, stirring his food around and stabbing at his pasta, shoving hot food into his mouth. He was slightly startled, to say the least, when you started a conversation, never having optionally chosen to be the first to talk before, and he looked up at you expectantly as soon as he heard your intake of breath;

“What are the recommended ‘free time’ activities?”

The routine seemed to work for you, it opened you up a little more to him and made it easier for the two of you to bond, but he quickly realised that having you sound when you had no idea what to do was slightly less functional. 

You now seemed to follow him around like a lost puppy, and you still didn’t talk as much, so he didn’t mind having you around, but he felt sorry for you. You would sit and just keep him company silently as he did his office work, for hours at a time, or slink away to workout and take a shower before returning. Every book he had was now rearranged on the shelves, and you were running out of paper, beginning to sketch the same things over and over again because you had nothing else to do, and he quickly realised that his apartment was nowhere near as entertaining as he thought it was. 

Sometimes, the two of you would watch a movie in the evening, but the television gave you headaches after too long, not that you ever voiced the pain but he could tell from the way you’d squint and rub at your eyes, getting a little cranky before going to bed and rubbing your temples. That meant you still needed an adjustment period to screens, not to mention that you had no idea how to operate much technology, and so he was left to occupy you with more basic forms of entertainment. 

Your personality had been developing, though, coming through in dribs and drabs. You had favourites in the books now, a stack that you would go back over every day, whereas certain genres had been delegated back to the shoves to never again be touched, and he flicked through them one day before you got up, smiling to himself a little at the idea that science-fiction and fantasy were your favourites.

Following that discovery, he’d got a library card, making room on one of his Friday afternoons out to go to the building and browse the aisles, checking out ten new books following those genres to surprise you with, and you’d all but bounced in your spot as you stood before him, eyes wide and slightly sparkling as he handed them over to you. That day you did thank him, looking him in the eye as you said those words, and the locked eyes felt almost too intense for him to handle, you didn’t shy away or duck your head in respect of authority when he didn’t turn away either, heat crawling along his cheeks before you’d chosen to look down at the new books he’d given you. 

He found in meals that you would eat anything you were given, despite his insistence that if you particularly liked something or didn’t like something, then you should speak up so he knew what to get, but you ate anything he gave you. 

He picked up on the fact that you ate chicken at twice the speed you ate lamb, and that you’d had seconds of the beef stew and mashed potato he’d made one night, and you always pushed broccoli onto a fork with other food to eat it, but were happy to eat carrots and peas without having to accompany them with something else. Cheesecake was nice for dessert, but only if it had the lemon swirls, not the strawberry ones, and you preferred brownies to cookies. 

Despite all his studying of you, he knew you were studying and learning him just as much in response. When he did the laundry, you’d fold it so he didn’t have to, and when he was cooking, you’d set the table. He’d watched you go around the entire apartment with a fine-tooth comb one day, checking everything and learning their places, memorising where it would all go and the positioning of things, finally accepting the environment as your own. You knew which side of the table he liked to sit on and which was his favourite chair, never sitting in it or disturbing his routine, and you’d grown to knocking on the office door before entering to sit with him quietly instead of just barging in and starling him if the world had slipped away around him as he drowned in mission reports and debriefing statements. 

It was odd, to learn someone so well, to become so in tune with another person when they hardly spoke to you, and to know someone so well when they barely knew themselves. It was hard to talk to you, you didn’t even know your name, but he knew of your childhood trauma at the hands of kidnappers, and you lived with him but couldn't remember your own house while growing up. Having another person in his life was something that Mitch had expected to hate, but as the ‘end of your third-month’ marker of slightly uneasy but otherwise reasonably acceptable cohabitation came around, he found that he rather enjoyed having your presence. 

The large space felt more welcoming now, and knowing he had someone to come home to and sit with as he ate his meals or watched his movies made the long days feel a little shorter, and the stressful workload feel a little more bearable, even if it was only a temporary fixture, but Mitch was making the most of it while it lasted.

“I’m home!” Mitch had to resist the urge to add the word ‘honey’ onto the beginning there, his eyes rolling at himself as he grinned at the joke in his mind, waiting expectantly with the bags at the door as he tried to kick off his shoes, but you didn’t come to greet him.

Lately, he’d been able to trust you alone enough to go out more, and so he was given a little more freedom, the alone time seeming to give you a chance to develop your own mind a little more too, making more and more little breakthroughs each day. You normally came to find him after he arrived home, padding through the house to greet him at the door, even if you didn’t say anything, you’d offer him a nod of the head and take some of the bags from his hands if he had any.

You didn't come to find him though, concern and fear racing through his veins as he listened to the eerie silence in the house, and he left the bags abandoned on the kitchen table as he checked through the house, ensuring security and safety. He found you in your bed, curled up under your covers with the blanket lifted over your head, despite the fact that the chart you’d made to give you a routine stated that you’d be reading one of the more informative books you owned right now.

He knocked on the door, your body not moving out from under the blanket, but you shuffled a little, and he chuckled, making his way across the room. Peeling the blanket back from over your head, the teasing smile on his face dropping as he took in red puffy eyes and wet cheeks, a distressed look on your face as you curled into your pillow a little more, backing away from him across the bed as your body closed in on yourself.

“What happened?”

You didn't reply, barely moving, and he settled down on the floor, kneeling before you as his knees brushed the carpet, placing his forearms flat on the edge of the mattress and balancing his chin on top of them. You peeked up at him a little, and his heart broke a little bit as you brought up one sweater covered hand to wipe at your face. It was the first real emotion he’d seen from you, he expected things like a smile or an angry outburst, but he’d never expected to see tears, and right now you looked like you were walking the line between distressed and utterly terrified.

“Wanna’ tell me what’s wrong?”

You took a deep breath, sniffling a little before pushing yourself to sit up, smoothing your hair back out of your face and crossing your legs, trying to gain a little bit of composure again, before taking a deep and raspy breath, coughing to clear your throat before you spoke. “Unit eight has another title.”

His brows furrowed, your voice barely above a whisper and cracking at the end, and he echoed the words back to you in confusion. “Another title?”

“(Y/N).”

He mulled the name over a little, letting it rattle around inside his head before realising exactly what it meant, and he felt his own face light up as you continued to stare at him with a cross of horror and despair. “That’s amazing! Why do you look so sad? That’s your name.”

You just played with your hands in your lap, taking your gaze away from his as your head dropped down, and he let out a low sigh. Lifting his body up from the floor, he was soon to find his seat on the mattress instead, back pressing to the wall as he sat beside you, keeping his gaze fixed on you.

“Can I call you that? (Y/N)?”

“It would be acceptable.” The words were hardly audible, but you were at least accepting your name now, and he was psyched just to have something to refer to you as, because up until now, it had been extremely difficult just to get your attention.

He never wanted to call you ‘unit eight’ and he didn’t want to startle you by touching you out of the blue, knowing that you were still jumpy and stiff even when he just got a little too close without warning, but this was major progress. Your arm brushed against his as you shuffled, and you moved in a little closer to him, not quite leaning your head on his shoulder but your cheek brushed the curve of his arm, seeking out comfort as you cleared your skin of tears, and he remained still, allowing you to do so.

He knew it would take you a while to actually settle into the name, to get used to hearing it and remembering that it was you, in order to reply to the name and become familiar with it. He dared to reach out a hand, placing it over your clothed knee and squeezing comfortingly as you settled into the realisation that you weren't just a unit, you were a person with a name, and he couldn't really imagine how you were feeling, but he could empathise.

“Well, for the record, I think it’s a lovely name, and I think it suits you.”

“Thank you.”

He nodded his head, tipping it to the side to rest on your own, and he could feel the slight tension of your body, freezing up for a moment, before you accepted the physical touch, and it was all symbols of how well you were settling into your new life.  “How about we make some dinner? Do you want to come and cook with me? I bet you’re starving, right now. You made a pretty big breakthrough.”

You merely nodded, letting him guide you up from the bed slowly as you stretched out muscles and joints that must've been locked up for a while. He waited as you straightened out the sheets, wandering away to the kitchen to give you that moment of space, and you joined him only a few minutes later, opening up the fridge and having a look through, before pulling out a packet of chicken breasts and looking up at him hopefully.

“Chicken and potatoes? I have that broccoli you like.”

“That would be nice.”

The two of you worked in harmony, side by side as he stood over the hob, creating a seasoning for the chicken and frying it up, and you expertly chopped potatoes and vegetables with a kind of precision and speed that he knew was a skill gained from your years in captivity, but it was still incredible to watch, dicing everything up small and making it look so easy. You had ended up choosing mashed potatoes over boiled, and he worked carefully to ensure there were no lumps and that it was smooth, while you set the table, and he plates up two dishes of hot and delicious food for you both, humming to a song under his breath.

You had poured drinks, laying them out too, before going to take a stand beside him, staring at both of the plates, and leaning in a little as he practically watched the cogs work in your mind, and he waited patiently, brows raised, for whatever it was you were thinking about and trying to work out how to say. “Is this one.. um, this one is mine?”

He paused, lifted up the spoon he’s dished out the mash with to lick it clean, but couldn't help the large grin that plastered across his face. Mine.

Your name made you acknowledge yourself as something other than another person’s plaything and machine, and he nodded, letting out a breathy laugh as you claimed something as your own, as a person capable of having possessions.

“Yeah. Yeah, that one is yours.”

[rhysismydaddy]

Failing a Polygraph (Nessian)

All I write is Nessian. Wrote this in 5 minutes because I had a dream about being in the CIA and having to take one of these.

________________________________________________________________

“State your name for the record.”

“Nesta Archeron.”

The annoyingly beautiful man across from her smiled as the polygraph machine started taking down a baseline. 

Nesta sat, perfectly unmoving, and tried not to roll her eyes. These things were so tedious. And besides being a huge waste of time, they’d taught her in the academy how to beat one, so it was actually kind of pointless. 

“Date of birth?”

She sighed. “March 15th, 1995.”

“Just two days after mine,” Cassian pointed out, oh-so-helpfully. 

“That’s not a question.”

He smiled, dimples popping up on his tan skin. “Right you are. You’re applying to the Paramilitary Operations Unit, correct?”

“Yes.” 

He should very well know, considering it was his unit, but she kept that to herself. 

“Why?”

Fuck, I hate polygraphs. 

“I’ve maintained my cover during my three years with the CIA, so I’d be perfect for undercover ops.” He didn’t look impressed, so she continued. “Plus, I aced all the exams to enter the unit.”

“Did you now?”

She didn’t ask why he didn’t just look at the needle in front of him to see that it was the truth. Cassian just sat there, smirking like always, golden eyes studying everything about her. 

“I believe I scored one point higher than you, actually,” she said cooly, unable to help it. 

She never had figured out how to bite her tongue around him. 

They’d met around two weeks ago, after her preliminary interview for the unit. Nesta had bumped into him in the hallway, not known he lead the program she desperately wanted to be a part of, and had given him her piece of mind when he’d commented on her dress.

Or rather, what was under her dress. 

It wasn’t exactly a great first impression.

Not that he seemed to mind. Ever since then, he’d been teasing her, and flirting with her, and driving her insane in every possible way. 

Including now. 

Cassian smiled, leaning back in the chair and watching the needle move in between them. 

“Tell me a secret,” he said, eyes twinkling with undisguised interest.

Just to mess with him, she responded, “I had a dream about you last night.”

He twirled a hand in the air. “Elaborate.”

“I was at a drive-thru, and you were the one flipping burgers,” Nesta replied, biting her lip to keep the smile off her face.

“Very funny.” He scowled at her, which only made her smile grow. “Have you ever committed a crime?”

“Nope.” She gave him a small smile. “Contemplated assault a few times, though.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Have you ever committed an act of treason against the United States?”

“No.”

“Great. Boring questions are out of the way.” 

Wonderful.

“What’s your most embarrassing memory?”

Nesta finally gave into the urge to roll her eyes. “In ninth grade, I got off the school bus and the wind lifted up my skirt. And before you ask, yes, I was wearing underwear.”

“I’m jealous of the kid behind you,” he joked, running a hand through his hair. She traced the motion, wondering how the hell he managed to look good even under fluorescent lighting. “Let’s see... what else do I want to know?”

“No, what else do you need to know? For the purpose of giving me a job?”

He shrugged one of his massive shoulders. “Same difference, baby. I want to know... won’t you find it difficult?”

“Find what difficult, Cassian?” she spat back, both loving and dreading the tone of his voice. 

He smirked, full lips so damn distracting. “Working under me.”

It was an innocent question, but the way he said it made it beyond obvious what he meant. 

“Nope,” she replied, popping the p with satisfaction. 

“Really?” he scoffs, golden eyes twinkling with mischief. “I mean, it’s beyond obvious you’re attracted to me.”

Nesta gritted her teeth, the urge to rip the wires off her and strangle him with them growing by the second. “First, I’ll remind you this is a professional polygraph.” He rolled his eyes. “Second, you’re supposed to be asking me questions.”

“Fine.” He leaned forward, thick arms crossed on the table. “Are you attracted to me, Nesta?”

Her mouth dropped open on its own accord. Is he serious?

“I’m reporting you to your superiors,” she mumbled back, face heating with a blush. 

A laugh. “Who, Rhysand? My best friend? Fell free. Now answer the question.”

“What question was that, exactly?” she asked, trying everything to stall the inevitable. 

Cassian rolled his eyes, well on to her games. “Nesta Archeron, are you attracted to me?”

“No,” she said back, using all the tips and tricks she’d learned in the academy to fool the machine. 

He grinned, eyes shooting to the polygraph machine between them. They lit up like a fucking kid on Christmas when he looked back up. “That’s a lie.”

Shit shit shit. There was literally no telling what was going to happen next. 

“Machines make mistakes.”

Cassian shrugged, leaning closer to her. “Next question, then. Have you ever imagined having sex with me?”

Every time I look at you, you fucking miserable bastard.

“No.”

He didn’t even need the polygraph to catch that lie. Her blush was so bad, she wondered if she’d catch fire and burn through her skin. This was the most embarrassing thing she’d ever gone through. 

Except, for some reason, she wasn’t that embarrassed. It was obvious he already knew she was attracted to him, so he was probably just messing with her. 

“That’s a lie,” he repeated with a smile. 

Before he could ask another damning question, she said, “This is very unprofessional. And annoying. If this were reversed, would you endure it?”

“Yep. Ask me anything you want.”

She hadn’t really seen that coming. 

She decided to give him a taste of his own sickeningly sweet medicine. “Are you attracted to me?” she asked, sure he’d lie and say no. He hadn’t been the only one to catch onto something.

“Yes, I am. Infuriatingly so.”

Nesta decided she’d never breathe normally again, but she whispered back, “And have you thought about-”

“Having sex with you? Oh, baby girl, you have no idea. I think about having you under me all the fucking time.” He gave her a sour look. “I hardly get anything done with you around.”

She needed to get her jaw wired shut or something, because it was ridiculous to just sit here with her mouth open like this. 

“So, you see, you can’t be in the unit.” Wait, what? I’m going to fucking kill him. “And before you try to strangle me, I’ve already recommended you for the Special Operations Unit, which is basically the same thing, just not for vets. Okay?”

Wait... then why- “Why the hell did you make me take this poly, then?”

He smiled that little smile of his. “I had a hunch you wanted to jump me, but I couldn’t be sure until I had you hooked up to this thing.”

Oh, that’s it. Nesta grabbed the wires across her chest and threw them on the table with a growl, getting up so fast her chair hit the wall with a bang. 

She exploded into the hallway, practically sprinting towards towards the exit. She was almost there, literally had her hand around the handle, when something wrapped around her waist and pulled her the other direction. 

Straight into a supply closet. 

“What the-”

Cassian grabbed her wrists and slammed them above her head into the door now closed behind her, then pressed his lips roughly against hers. 

His mouth was hot on hers, devouring her everywhere, and he kissed her like a drowning man coming up for air. 

And, much to her own surprise, she kissed him back. 

She told him how much she hated--and wanted--him with her mouth, making sure he understood her perfectly. Nesta knew she should stop, knew they were at work and that she wasn’t about to let him have her in a damned supply closet.

But she also couldn’t bring herself to care.

So she kissed him until she went weak in the knees, and his arms wrapped around her waist to keep her standing. 

He pulled back, nipped her nose, and murmured, “See, I can’t exactly do that to the people in my unit.”

She just nodded and pulled him back down to her. “I’m still filing a complaint about you,” Nesta told him, completely serious.

Cassian kissed her again, lips now sweet against hers. “I’m not worried. Worked out pretty well for me, anyway.”

________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading... drop prompts/asks in the box :)

Coming out with some Rowaelin tomorrow.

@a-bit-of-a-cactus @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @aesthetics-11 @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @savemesoon8 @hizqueen4life

[billiejeanisnotyourlover]

GREEN — OBX

PAIRING: John B. Routledge x Fem!Reader

REQUEST: “Hey! I was wondering if you could do a John B x reader where the reader is Topper’s ex girlfriend and is now dating John B and maybe a jealous John B at a party or something 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so so much!!!” by Anonymous.

WARNINGS: Mentions of drug and alcohol usage by minors, I think that’s it actually.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: first request! i apologize if this is bad, i literally haven’t written anything in years, so this is quite the throwback. the beginning kind of drags but it gets better (i think) as it goes on. hope you all enjoy!

Okay, listen. It wasn’t like you were planning on going full-Pogue over the summer. No, you hadn’t been mischievously scheming your conversion to the “dark side” at all; you just broke up with your Kook-y boyfriend and started hanging around the local lowlifes a little more than you thought you would.

I mean, between the hours they spent at The Wreck—where, by the way, you’d been working for a good six or so months now after your parents basically told you that you couldn’t leech off of their money anymore—and the number of times you’ve bumped into them on your way home, hanging out with them turned into something a little more inevitable than avoidable.

It started out small, with little conversations that weren’t entirely based on the Kook vs Pogue rivalry that the group of teens were so set on keeping alive.

Kiara, your boss’ daughter, had been the first to show you even an ounce of kindness; another unruly customer had dumped their water all over you (whether or not it was on purpose depended on who you asked about the incident), and she had been the one to take you to the back, let you release some frustration, and then gave you a new shirt to wear.

After that, it had been Pope. While you were serving him and the two other boys one night, he mentioned something about school and scholarships, to which you opened up an entire conversation with him about, seeing your siblings had all gone through the interview process, so you knew a trick or two. You could tell he regarded you a little more kindly after that.

The next to break was John B, the cute, wavy-haired brunet boy. He’d been the easiest to break, even if not the first. While Kiara and Pope still treaded water, John B dove in head-first. You weren’t even sure why; one day, he’d been giving you a side-eye, and the next, he was inviting you around town with them.

Of course, the final Pogue left was JJ. Blond hair, blue eyes, and a total troublemaker. He didn’t take very kindly to you at all; sometimes you could hear him arguing with his friends about how they were associating with a Kook, even if you hardly qualified anymore. Sure, your parents were rich and you wore nice clothes, but all the people in Kooklandia were dull. Shallow. Boring. You wanted depth—and the Pogues could give you that.

Even now, months later, you could tell JJ was still sketched out about you, but you learned to ignore it as time went on, and every once in a while, he would extend an olive branch—with the olive branch being a blunt or a beer, most days.

Though, in all honesty, the hardest part of it all had been Thomas. Topper, as everyone else knew him. The two of you grew up together, practically joined at the hip since diapers, though there was a period of a few years in middle school and freshman year of high school that he would barely give you the time of day.

Maybe that was why you agreed so quickly when he asked you out one day. Maybe that was why the two of you started dating, because he finally was giving you the attention you craved.

Okay, wait, that sounded shallow. You weren’t shallow. You were just... lonely. Missing the human connection. Something like that. Being with Topper filled those holes in your heart and made you happier and happier as each day passed.

Until it didn’t anymore.

You remembered breaking up with him like it was yesterday, even if it had been at least three months ago now.

He yelled at you. You yelled at him. He blamed your new friends. You blamed his ego. It went on and on until, eventually, you just walked away. Told him not to call. Told him not to come by your house. You two could talk about it later, when you weren’t at each other’s throats, but it was still over. You and Topper were over.

Then, the next day, you joined the Pogues on their handy little boat and went off into the marsh. There were drinks and blunts and jokes and laughter. Then the process basically repeated the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...

...and now, it was July. You and the Pogues were as thick as thieves (quite literally, in JJ’s case). You did everything together, and you finally found the friendships you’d been craving for so long. The friendships that engaged you, that kept you happy, that made you feel unconditional love. You felt like everything was finally complete for you.

And then you fell. Hard.

John B had always been nice to you. So incredibly nice. He let you in on Pogue things. He made sure you were happy. He always made you smile, and with all of that added together, it really wasn’t surprising when you realized that maybe, just maybe, you liked John B as more than just a friend.

Turns out, he felt the same, and only a few weeks prior just as summer break started, he kissed you.

Yes, John B kissed you. And you kissed him back.

Since then, you two were inseparable, always spending your days together and most of your nights, although you still had a family and had to go home eventually. Those nights, though, you stayed up for hours on the phone with him. Literally. Sleep never came to you until three or four in the morning then, and you’d get up at a whopping nine to meet him back at the chateau that very day.

Of course, the hurricane that blew in ruined it all. The island was a mess and the power was out, meaning there was no signal and you were forced to spend your nights at home in solitude.

That’s what last night had been like, but hours had passed and you met up with John B and the Pogues not too long ago, your group of friends and yourself now at the boneyard for an infamous OBX kegger.

“Hey! Watch this!” comes JJ’s voice from a few yards away. The blond boy had situated himself on a tree branch, and once he was certain he had his friend’s attention, he leaned back. He was holding himself up by his legs, now dangling haphazardly above the ground as he... tilted his beer can back and started drinking?

The liquid was going everywhere. All over his chin, dripping to the sand, and covering his face because he kept missing his own mouth.

You, of course, have to laugh. “Does he not realize that’s not going to work?” you ask, looking at the boy whose arm was wrapped lazily around your waist.

John B glances down at you with an crooked grin. The sight makes you mirror the expression. “He’ll realize eventually. After he chokes, probably.”

Sure enough, JJ starts coughing, the beer having gone down the wrong pipe as he struggles to sit up and correct himself.

You laugh even more, sipping from your own beer can and simply enjoying the amusing show. JJ kept coughing, and you and John B kept laughing, joined in by Kiara’s questioning of what the hell were you thinking would happen? and Pope agreeing with her entirely.

A squeeze on your hip draws your attention back up to John B, whose hand has situated itself on the exposed skin above the waistline of your shorts. His gaze meets yours, shining with a happy sparkle that only makes you smile.

“Yeah?” you ask.

“Come walk with me?”

“Yeah, of course.”

The two of your begin to walk away from the crowd, the cheers and laughter and chatter of conversation fading away just the slightest—until a voice calls out your name.

“Y/N!” It’s all too familiar, and slowly, you turn around in John B’s arms to face Topper.

Topper. What was he doing here?

“Topper?” you call back, furrowing your brows before a small pit of anger bubbles in your stomach. You don’t show to outwardly, though, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

He jogs up in the sand to meet you, now standing just a few feet away. In his hand in a can of beer, but by the way he crushes it, you know it’s empty. You’re surprised he doesn’t toss it behind him and leave it.

“Still slumming around with these guys, huh?” questions Topper. You roll your eyes, and he smirks knowingly. “When are you coming back to the real world, princess? This little fantasy of yours can’t last forever.”

Next to you, John B bristles. “Shut up, dude,” he demands, a shadow now crossing over his face. You’ve only ever seen him upset maybe once or twice, so this was new even for you. “Do you have to come over here and harass us?”

Topper laughs. “You think I want to be anywhere near you, John B?” he scoffs, his gaze flickering to you. “I’m just coming here to remind Y/N what she’s doing. We still have to talk, anyway. Remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. But that was three months ago, Topper,” you remind him, and he stiffens for a moment. “We—” you gesture between you and him. “—are through.”

The blond Kook just scoffs quietly again. He doesn’t have a response right away, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t digging for one. Eventually, he sighs, “Whatever. You’ll come to your senses eventually and realize that life just isn’t as sweet when you’re hanging around with a few dirty Pogues.” He pauses. “Give me a call when you’re ready for that talk.”

Then, he walks away. The confrontation is short and not at all sweet, but it’s still enough to keep John B quiet even after a few minutes pass. The two of you continue down the beach together, but his arm is at his side and he refuses to even look at you.

You know what it’s about. It’s about the same thing he’s expressed to you time and time again. Why would you leave a Kook for him? Money, a good life... for someone from the Cut? He couldn’t fathom it.

“Hey,” you say gently, stepping in front of him. You’d been in silence for too long. “Look at me, John B.”

He does, and you sigh. His eyes are full and his face crestfallen.

“Just ignore Topper, okay?” you ask. “He thinks he’s some hot rod. He’s not.”

“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” John B replies. “Like—like he thinks he still has some claim over you. Doesn’t he realize he doesn’t? That—that you two are over?”

“He will. With time,” you promise. He’s still tense, though, and for a moment, his eyes flicker over to where Topper is now with the rest of his Kook friends. “John B.”

He looks at you again.

“You,” a finger is pressed to his chest, “are the only one for me.”

“I don’t—”

“No, don’t question it.” You shake your head, then smile as you stand on your toes and wrap your arms around his neck. “You’re the only one for me, John B. I don’t care about Topper.”

At that, he cracks a small smile, and for you, that’s enough. But you still press a little kiss to the corner of his lips.

“Besides, green isn’t your color,” you tease then.

“I’m not... I’m not wearing green?” he states, but the sentence comes out more like a question than anything, and you can’t help but laugh. He’s confused for a moment longer before it processes with him.

He was green with envy, and it wasn’t cool on him. He scoffs, a gateway to a little laugh.

“Okay, that’s it,” he decides, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up with no warning. You squeal, and he lugs you towards the water. “I’ve had enough of your bullying!”

Your laughter drowns out the rest of the party, and you can’t help but feel beyond elated that finally, you’d found your place. Even if your boyfriend is a little green.

[calpalirwin]

Little Star

Summary: Ashton isn’t the only one wrapped around his little girl’s finger. 

A/N: My brain child with @creator-appreciator​ grows. 

Word Count: 2.9k

__

Part 1

“I want about 6. 8. I’m gonna go hard,” Ashton’s voice said through Sam’s phone. From on the other side of the couch, Ashton’s real voice asked, “Why are you watching that interview? It’s like… 2, 3 years ago.”

“6 or 8 kids, huh?” Sam asked in lieu of answering him.

Ashton shrugged. “I mean, I dunno. Be nice I suppose. But also I was just being stupid.”

“So, like 1 would be fine for the time being?”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you saying you want to have a baby? Like now?”

“Well… not now now. But like 9-ish months now? How would you feel about that?”

“A-are you saying what I think you’re saying? Are you pregnant? Are we having a baby?”

“I have an appointment tomorrow to confirm. But yeah. Pretty sure.”

“I-” he started, but launched himself across the couch to give her a hard kiss instead. “What time is your appointment?”

“You want to come with me?”

“Of course I want to come with you! We’re having a baby!”

“Fletch, you’re crying,” Sam said, wiping her thumb across her husband’s cheek.

“Good tears,” he sniffed, his hands rubbing along her stomach. “Oh, I can’t wait to meet you.”

~~~

Ashton’s hand tightened its grip on Sam as they heard the rapid “swwwoooop swwwoooop swwwoooop” of their baby’s heartbeat on the monitor. “You okay?” Sam chuckled, flexing her hand.

“Terrified,” he whispered back in awe. He crooked his index finger at the screen in a little wave. “Hey, sweetheart. I’m your daddy.”

Sam swallowed thickly, tears forming in her eyes. “You are already so loved, little one,” she choked out.

~~~

The wait to 12 weeks to break the news to everyone was nothing short of torture for everyone all around as Ashton and Sam didn’t trust themselves to be around their friends without blurting out the news. So when Ashton finally corralled everyone over, Calum hugged Sam tightly before slugging Ashton in the arm as hard as he could, Luke and Michael following suit, the girls much nicer in just giving the couple both a hug hello

“Ow!” Ashton hissed through his teeth, rubbing his arm. “The fuck was that for?”

“Haven’t seen you guys in like a month. So what the fuck is going on?” Calum demanded, getting straight to the point.

“Sit down. We have presents for you all to make up for being shitty friends these last few weeks,” Sam said, gesturing for them to have a seat.

“You’re not a shitty friend, princess,” Calum told her.

“Gee thanks…” Ashton rolled his eyes. 

Michael laughed. “Seriously what Cal said. You guys just got married. Of course you’re gonna fall out of contact for a while.”

“Will you two shut up? If they feel bad and want to give us presents, let them give us presents!” Luke put in.

“Oh relax, you’ll get your present, partner,” Sam chuckled. “Fletch?”

“Yep, on it.” Ashton gave each couple a small little box. “They’re couple gifts, so sorry about that part. But we’re pretty sure you’ll love it.”

“Do we all open them together or?” Calum questioned.

“Yeah, you can open them all together,” Sam suggested, sitting back, excitement coursing through both her and Ashton as they awaited their friends’ reactions.

There was a sharp intake of breath as the lids popped open and the sonograms fell into laps. Then, “DIBS ON GODFATHER!” Calum, Luke, and Michael all shouted at once.

“What?! No! Fuck you guys! I’m godfather!” Calum claimed.

“Fuck you, Crystal and I are actually married too. We should be godparents.”

“Sierra and I are engaged! That should count!” Luke protested.

“No! I’m godfather. I’m original bub. Em’s is Sam’s childhood best friend. I officiated their fuckin’ wedding! I should be godfather! It makes the most sense,” Calum kept defending his stance.

“Would you three shut up?” Emily asked with an eye roll. “They’re having a fuckin’ baby!”

“Yeah, we’re supposed to be congratulating them,” Sierra put in.

“Oh, a baby!” Crystal beamed, her eyes watering. “Michael isn’t that great?!”

“See?!” Calum pointed a finger at Michael. “Your wife wants a baby! You can’t have a baby and be godfather to Ash and Sam’s baby, you greedy fuck.”

“Okay, but if Crystal and I have a baby then we should definitely be godparents because we’d be actual fuckin’ parents,” Michael pointed out. 

“I want to be godfather!” Luke pouted.

“You can all be godfather,” Ashton and Sam compromised.

“Unacceptable!” the guys screeched, rising to their feet. “There’s only one way to settle this,” Calum decided. “Godfather Olympics. Diaper changing. Feeding. Taking care of one of those robot babies,” he ticked each idea off on his fingers. “And… something else. We need at least 4 in the event of a tie. Oh! Best lullaby to soothe the baby with.”

“Someone get me a tortilla, and a bottle of mustard and ketchup,” Michael said, seeming to agree with Calum’s demands. “Gotta put it in writing.”

To give them all fair enough time to write a lullaby, the events were spread out over a course of the next four months. The problem ended up being that Calum won diaper changing, Michael won feeding, and then they both tied with the robot baby. The lullaby was supposed to be the tie-breaker, but Luke pulled through for his first victory- after literally crying to Ashton to help him win at least one event.

“Well, Mike and I are still tied for first, so good job to Luke, I guess. But he still lost,” Calum said, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah, that’s nice,” Sam said, not really paying attention because Duke was curled up on her swollen abdomen. “Yeah, you love your baby, don’t you Dukey?” she asked, scratching the dog’s ears. Blue was too big to lay on Sam, but the pup’s ears perked up at the word “baby” and her nose came up to nuzzle into Sam’s ribs. “Oh, yes, Blue, that’s your baby too, I know,” Sam told her, petting Blue’s head with her other hand. 

“Looks like the dogs are better godparents than the actual humans,” Ashton giggled.

Sam gasped, “Fletch! That’s a great idea! What do you think, Dukey? You wanna be the baby’s godfather?”

“What?!” Luke cried in outrage. “You’re gonna pick the dogs?!”

“You lost!” Calum and Michael told him.

“So, why aren’t you angry?!”

Michael shrugged, “Honestly, it sounds like something we’d do.”

“Yeah,” Calum admitted with a sigh of defeat. “No one gets their feelings hurt this way.”

“Okay, but it’s still kinda unfair to me because I only have 1 dog,” Luke chimed back in.

“So do I,” Calum told him.

Michael snorted, “Yeah right. Blue is basically your dog like Duke is, Cal. Leaving me and you tied again at 2 a piece, and Luke with his sad 1 point.”

“Okay, but they’re dogs. They’re not gonna know the difference,” Calum said.

“So, why don’t we all just share being godfather?” Luke suggested.

Ashton shared an eye roll with Sam before going, “Genius idea, Luke! Can’t believe we didn’t think of that before.”

“I sense sarcasm.”

“Whatever,” Calum said, moving past the Godfather Olympics that declared no real winner. “Now, that we’ve decided we’re all gonna be godfather, can we know what our godkid’s name is?”

“Well, we don’t want to know the gender because Sam-” Ashton started to explain but Sam cut him off.

“Because gender is a social construct. So we’re doing it old-school and waiting.”

“Okay but do you have name ideas at least?”

Ashton smiled sheepishly, shaking his head. “We’re still figuring that out. Sorry guys.”

“A nursery theme then?”

“Space,” they both answered.

The guys nodded in agreement. “Alright, we can work with that.”

~~~

As Operation Starry Night Nursery went underway, Ashton brought up the topic of names. “We only got a couple more months until this little one makes their appearance. They kinda need a name, baby.”

“I know,” Sam said with a weary sigh. “I kinda like the name Stella if it’s a girl.”

“Stella? That’s not even your favorite All Time Low song.”

Sam laughed, smacking his chest lightly. “Not after an All Time Low song! It means ‘star.’ Like how the nursery is spaced-themed.”

“Well her middle name can’t be Rosa because I don’t want people thinking I named my daughter after a beer.”

Sam gave out another snort of laughter. “No! Jesus, Fletch. Stella Grace.”

“Oh! Yeah, that’s really pretty. But what if we have a boy?”

She shrugged. “I dunno. And I don’t know if it’s because I just don’t like my ideas. Or if it’s because I don’t think we’ll need a boy name.”

“Weeeeeelllllll…” Ashton said slowly, drawing out the word, his gaze flickering over to the nightstand littered with sonogram pictures and an envelope that held the gender. “We could find out. If you want.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, “You really wanna know, huh?”

“I really do,” Ashton told her, pulling the puppy dog face. “Like so fuckin’ bad. And I know I shouldn’t. But… yeah.”

“Oh, thank God!” Sam laughed in relief. “I want to know too. Gimme the damn envelope!”

Ashton quickly gave it to her, drumming his hands on his thighs for a drum roll, adding to the effect by beatboxing a drum beat to go with it, while Sam tore into the envelope. “Baby Irwin is… a girl! We’re having a girl!” she cheered with a gleeful laugh.

Ashton let out a choked giggle, a tear sliding down his cheek as his hands flew to Sam’s stomach. “Is that what you are? Huh? Are you my little star, Stella?”

There was a ripple of movement underneath his hands that had him and Sam both giggling more. “Yeah? You like that name? Oh, there are so many people waiting to meet you, Stella. People who love you more than you’ll ever know.”

~~~

“Twinkle twinkle, little star,” Ashton sang softly as he danced slowly around the room with Stella in his arms.

“Ashton Irwin, professional rock musician, singing lullabies in a hospital room,” Sam teased lightly. “Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming.”

“If it is a dream, let me sleep,” he answered. “I don’t ever wanna wake up from this.”

“Well, get your time in now. You know once the guys get her, you’re never getting her back. Shit, Calum and Emily might move in if we’re not careful.”

Ashton chuckled at the thought. “Might just all move into Mike’s. He’s got enough rooms.”

“While that’s not half bad, I’d rather not raise my baby in a mansion. She’s gonna be spoiled enough as is. Would like her to have some semblance of normal.”

“When have we ever been normal?”

Sam laughed, “Yeah, I suppose your right. But you guys did work hard on the nursery. So we probably shouldn’t move.”

“Yeah, plus I kinda like our house.”

“Me too.”

“Knock, knock,” Calum announced softly, rapping his knuckles against the open door, Emily behind him.

“Hey,” Sam greeted with a smile. “Where’s everyone else?”

“We didn’t wanna crowd you guys, so we’re taking turns. Michael and I played Rock, Paper, Scissors for first slot.”

“And what about Luke?” Ashton asked with a giggle.

“He cheated at Godfather Olympics so he was disqualified. You’ll see him last. Now gimme da baby.” He made grabby hands before taking the bundle from Ashton, cradling the infant carefully to him. “Oh, hey there, little one. I’m your Uncle Cal. And this is your Auntie Emily.”

“Can you say hi to them, Stella?” Ashton asked in a quiet, but higher pitched tone, the type of voice one adopts around newborns.

“Stella?” Calum asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam. “That’s not your favorite All Time Low song.”

Sam facepalmed herself. “I did not name my daughter after an All Time Low song. I gave her that name because her father loves space and her name means ‘star.’ Jesus…”

“Her middle name isn’t Rosa, is it?”

“Jesus, it’s like you two are twins…” Sam said with an eye roll as Ashton busted up in a fit of giggles. “No. It’s Grace. Stella Grace.”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful little girl,” Emily commented. “Now gimme that baby.”

“Fine, fine,” Calum huffed, handing over Stella. “Oh, Mike said he had news. Won’t tell us what. Said he wanted to tell you guys first.

“Oh?” Ashton and Sam asked.

Calum shrugged. “No idea. But he seems excited.”

The rest of the short visit passed in silence aside from the cooed voices at Stella, asking her if she knew that she was the cutest little girl. At the fifteen minute mark, Michael appeared in the doorway with Crystal and a teddy bear. “Time’s up, Cal,” Michael said with a knowing smirk.

“Kiss ass,” Calum scoffed, jerking his chin at the teddy bear.

“It’s not from us,” Michael answered innocently.

“Whatever,” Calum rolled his eyes playfully. He crossed the room to give Sam a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations, princess. She’s gorgeous just like her momma.”

“Thanks, bub. Em. See you guys later?”

“Yeah, we’ll all visit again when you guys get settled back home,” Emily promised.

“So who’s this?” Michael asked, taking Stella from Calum in a gentle manner and Calum and Emily made their exit.

“This is Stella Grace. And Stella, this is your Uncle Mike and Auntie Crystal,” Ashton introduced.

“Oh, well aren’t you precious!” Crystal exclaimed, tears brimming in her eyes. “Isn’t she the sweetest, Michael?”

“Yeah, she’s a cutie,” Michael agreed. “Hey, Stella, we brought you a present. Only it’s not from us. It’s from a friend of yours, actually.”

“Yeah, Cal said you had news? Is that tied to the bear?” Sam prompted.

“Yeah. So, when you guys announced you were pregnant, Crystal and I got to talking. And we didn’t want to feel like we were trying to upstage you guys or anything, so we kept talking. But then talking got carried away. And… well, I'm sure you can guess.”

“Pregnant?” Sam croaked at Crystal.

Crystal nodded shyly. “Yeah. Just passed the three month mark.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Ashton said with a big smile, clapping Michael on the shoulder, before giving Crystal a tight hug.

“Oh, congratulations, guys!” Sam told them. “Another little one, Fletch, can you believe it? Stella, you’re getting a cousin!”

Stella opened her mouth in a tiny yawn, making Michael giggle with glee. “Yeah, that’s right! We’re getting a friend just for you. They won’t be here for a bit to say hello, so they asked if we could give you this teddy bear for now. Is that okay? Can the teddy bear be your friend until your real friend gets here?”

“That’s fuckin’ awesome, Mike. I’m so happy for you guys,” Ashton said, his cheeks sore from his grin.

“Thanks, mate.” Michael gave Stella over to Crystal, and then sat down on the hospital bed next to Sam, pulling her towards him in a side hug. “I think I officially won on the nicknames, queen. You got quite the princess over there.”

Sam laughed in agreement, “Yeah, I think you did too. Just don’t tell Cal.”

He held up a pinky for her to interlock hers with. “It’ll be our little secret.”

“Is it my turn yet?” Luke’s voice piped up.

“Get in here,” Ashton beckoned, wrapping an arm around Luke’s shoulder. “Come meet Stella.”

“Aw, cuz she’s a star!” Sierra connected the dots.

“Huh, I thought it was cuz of All Time Low.” Michael shrugged. “Oh well.”

“Jack Barakat from All Time Low?” Luke asked with a dumb grin.

“Oh, shit!” Ashton said, clapping a hand to his back pocket for his phone. “That reminds me I have people to call. Fuck, Mum’s gonna be so pissed I spaced… I’ll be right back. Baby, you good?”

“Yeah, I’m good, Fletch.”

When Crystal handed Stella to Luke, he made big eyes over at Sierra. “Oh! Can we have one?!” he pleaded.

“Funny story,” Michael coughed.

Sierra tore her eyes away from Stella to shoot Crystal a look. “Are you pregnant?!”

“13 weeks tomorrow,” Crystal confirmed.

Luke broke down sobbing, and from the hallway they heard an angry, “Oh, come on!” from Calum before the man appeared in the room. “Luke found out before me?! Luke?!” he whisper-shouted at Michael.

“What were you doing in the hallway?” was the deflection.

“Well, after you came in here, I went to the gift shop since how someone broke the no gift rule. And when I went to the waiting room, Luke was gone, so I figured he was here.”

“Wait, we were allowed to bring gifts?” Luke asked in confusion, passing Stella to Sierra. “Damn it! No one tells me anything!”

“You’re telling me! Mike, seriously? Luke?!”

“We were planning on telling everyone later on. With the exception of Ash and Sam of course,” Crystal explained. “But Luke just asked Sierra for a baby, so it slipped out.”

“I guess that’s fair…” Calum huffed.

“Wait, so are we allowed to bring gifts or not?” Luke repeated his question.

“No,” Calum and Michael told him. “Mike and Crystal broke the rule on a technicality. Their gift to Stella is really from their baby. And the gift shop sucks. Can find better shit online for half the price,” Calum furthered explained. “Where’d Ash go?”

“I stepped out to call my Mum,” Ashton said from behind Calum. “She wants pictures. Sam, you up for that?”

“Yeah, I’m good, Fletch.”

“Alright, family photo time. Get in,” Ashton directed and set up his camera, before sitting on the other side of Sam and taking Stella from Sierra. “Say ‘twinkle twinkle little star.’”

“Twinkle twinkle, little star!” everyone grinned as the camera went off in a series of little spurts.

__

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