#like I'm sorry but psychologically it fucking says a lot
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags#Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts#and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then#after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly.#No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there?????#This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries#and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof.#Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ??#No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever#They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :('#Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up#And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt#But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people#Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but.#Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap#And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me#Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand#Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong'#I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this#Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both#Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm#Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken#I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better#And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right#But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and#My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.'#'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you'#If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting#Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt#Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day
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*potently insane* I should re-read Monster by Naoki Urasawa
#everyone needs to read Monster at least once I think#if you're like me (Czech and anti-nationalist except when it's fictional then I'm the biggest patriot) then it's another Czech epic win#...or maybe loss. a stalemate i guess. i mean. someone is a win. someone else is a loss. if you're a coward that is.#if you like to suffer then it's a wonderful read#if you enjoy the most fucked up moral dilemmas ever then it's also for you.#i would say more but the problem is that if i say anything about the themes it will ruin the gut punch#like it's great no matter how many times you read it (just like Dun//geon Me//shi) (you should read Dun//geon Me//shi)#(you can always ask me about Dun//geon Me//shi btw)#(in fact you can always ask me for manga/books/games recommendations. movies too but ngl i watch basically only horror#and depressing psychological artsy movies. so. and insane comedies. bad ones. i enjoy them but they suck.)#(but I've read a lot of varied shit in my life and I've played a lot of shit in my life so i probably know something you might like)#(unless you like romance. sorry i just do not care for the romance genre. i tried to get over my disinterest for my graduation#but unfortunately not even reading the classics changed my mind)#(anyway back to my point)#but the first time is such a slap in the face#because you see there are a number of ways stories go. some are more common than others.#and this story had a pretty unclear end to me for a long time#i mean. i kept hoping. but there is a common way these stories go. and i was hoping it wouldn't be it.#and everything seemed to suggest it wouldn't go the way they usually go. but that way is still is common that i kept thinking#'but what if I'm stupid? what if it's just another story about X where the protagonist needs to learn Y?'#but no no it truly went in the direction i was hoping for and it fucked. genuinely absolutely 10/10#cannot stress the authors unwavering dedication to the message#somehow a lot of people miss the message. it's incredibly obvious. it couldn't be clearer. it's spelled out for you.#i do not understand how people read the manga and then make a video essay where they say things that go directly against the text#like congrats that is literally exactly what the protagonist was fighting against.
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i hate how my brain works LOLLOLOOL not like actually well sort of but also not like seriously where i'm upset just it's really funny i feel like crying it's so funny ToT But like, i'm living vicariously thru yters rn i want to create I'm too much energy. I CAN'T WAIT LIKE LITERATLY 5 DAYS FOR SCHOOL. And then it's school that's boring I fucking wish I knew people who liked to create and enjoyed the process and it's fun! It's so so fun!! And I mean I want video creation around me I'm done with drawing. Hopefully I meet people like that on campus.... god please let me meet people like that they're my soulmate.
#snazum talks#but seriously like i might be aroace#but I experience what I thought romance and sex was through the act of creation in a partnership#I want a work spouse basically#i want myself i won't lie I'd date myself#I want someone both like minded yet different from me#i can't even tell if it's a romantic attraction or a I WANT TO BE YOU attraction so like inspiration/jealousy or smth#idk fucking ted nivison brainworms shoot me now actually not acutally#i think it's really funny i'm a parody of myself#fav phrase btw#we won't talk about my terrible identity issues that i try to ignore all the time but it's so fucking obvious to me#and it' doesn't bother me that much cause i'm me#idk! I have a lot of love and thoughts and a weird spaghetti brain that can't make sense of anything and that's okay! I love being quirky#not me wanting to model myself after ted a bit.... and my friend saying I do sound like him a bit ToT#And then I realize I've always talked like this it's nothing new#and it's like the nd thing that we do where we emulate what we're immersed in or whatever idk psychology is cool but i'm stupid af#GRAH TOO MUCH ENERGY!!! SORRY!!#I need social interaction I NEED A GODDAM JOB !!#explodes into a million pieces#why why why am i built like this X.D
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
#covid isn't over#covid 19#disability rights#disability advocacy#wear a mask#covid conscious#covid cautious#mask up#wall of words#public health#health care
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the lamb and the wolf ~ dom! vampire! jake x sub! reader ౨ৎ .⋆。⊹ ♡
ଓ ⋆˙⊹ [ 제이크 ] ☆ Sim Jaeyun, the popular yet somehow nerdy 21 year old at your shared university. All the girls swooned over him, claiming that he's the most perfect human being to have ever walked this earth. You, on the contrary, felt something off about him, had your suspicions about the blonde haired boy that started to rule your every thought, and he could sense such. of course he did! He was the one crawling into your brain and picking apart your skull in order to rearrange the puzzle pieces to fit perfectly isync with his. He was absolutely crazy about how you didn't pay him any lustful eye or tried too hard to come onto him, that was until he started yearning for you, every part of you in so many more ways than one. You were just as mysterious to him as he was to you, and it drove both of you mad. And he just had to do something about it before his precious little muse genuinely did go insane.
Word count: 14,000
Vampire! Dom! Jake x Sub! Reader. Bondage, blood kink, overstimulation, biting, scratching, slight cnc (reader likes it dw), slight manhandling, praise, degradation, fingering, slight hunter/prey dynamic, slight breath play, slight corruption
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This is more of a short story than a one shot and the reader has similar characteristics to me so it's a little bit of an oc. sorry. it's kind of a slow burn but oh well. Reposts and comments are appreciated thank you! ♡ - phoebe
"Sim Jaeyun and f/n l/n" the professor calls out. you look over your shoulder the same time Jake looks down towards you from the top of the room, your eyes fixated on each others for just a split second before you break eye contact just as fast as it appeared, turning towards your best friend who sits directly next to you. The psychology professor was arranging groups of people for an upcoming project. you look at your best friend, your lips sucked between your teeth as she giggles.
"don't laugh please." you say to in a groan. she shakes her head, her giggling dying down as she speaks
"he's really not that bad, I hear he's actually decently nice and charming. all that talk about being a fuck boy are all rumors from what I hear" you cock an eyebrow up at her words, a look of 'oh really' written across your face
"and how would you know that" you say when you go to grab your book bag and sling it over your shoulder, not yet standing up to move
"one of my friends is a friend of his, so I've hung out with him from time to time and he doesn't at all act like what people talk about. I might just be talking out of my ass but you know" she shrugs her shoulders before continuing
"I guess it's just his looks that everybody fawns over. You can't even deny how attractive he is" she speaks and grabs her bag, standing up to move to her group, leaving you to follow her actions and face the blonde haired man. you look at him and you really can't deny it, he is unbelievably attractive. his face chiseled perfectly, his hair framing his face in a way that extenuates his features. he looks at you, a smile appearing on his lips this time, inviting you over.
You return his smile out of fondness. You're not really the type to fall for looks, you want something genuine. Real feelings and love, so you've never had the opportunity to actually fall in love because a lot of people in this generation tend to follow down the path of hook-up culture that really wasn't designed for your heart.
I guess you could say you want an old type love, one where men weren't ashamed to talk about their feelings for a woman.
You walk over to your group of four people, the empty seat with your name written all over it sat directly next to the blonde. you take your seat and get out your MacBook, opening up your notes before resting your elbows on the table below you, your chin in your palms as you look over your group, your eyes finding jakes figure once more as his do you.
"I'm y/n, by the way" you say to your group and begin talking about the subject of your shared presentation due in three months. its a really big project that consists of the need for various statistics involving a psychological study. When you begin suggesting topics, jakes eyes pour into your movements when you speak, finding it quite cute how much you enjoy talking about your major. he inturrupts you, his voice cherry sweet as his tone cuts into you, your eyes finding his
"you know an awful lot about psychological studies and tests ran in the past, how do you know so much?" he asks genuinely. you smile at him because he seems to take actual interest in your knowledge, you begin to ramble, talking his ear off about how much you enjoy learning how the human mind works and why it works the way it does. the other group members listen to you as well, but not as intentely as Jake does.
"psychology is my major, ever since I was little I was fascinated about the way people operate and the explanation as to why they do the things they do, I guess its kind of like an extreme interest of mine that I decided to make into my life goal to study" you end your ramble, a small tint of red coating your cheeks once you realize you've been talking for over fifteen minutes. Jake's smile never falters at your voice
"you just answered my second question. you're quite an interesting one, y/n" the way he worded his sentence sticks with you, he's talking as if he was born at a different time because you have never, ever heard anyone talk the way he does. you shake your head and the rest of the period goes by in a flash, your group figuring out what to make your presentation on, finishing up on it being the root of different phobias and how they affect different people. its quite simple, but there is a lot of different types that you would like to go over.
"hey guys, I think we should exchange numbers so we can all get together outside of class to do this project" one of your group members says, you nodding your head and getting your phone out of your bag. Jake takes your phone before anybody else could, handing you his in return.
"here, its easier like this than having everybody read out their numbers" Jake says to you, typing his number into your phone. you nod your head in agreement and add your contact information into his device before the two of you switch. you take note of what he named his contact as while he exchanges his phone with someone else.
everyones phone gets passed around and you notice that he named himself "Jake" in your phone while "sim jaehyun" was his name in everybody elses. you take note with a small smile before you wipe it off of your face.
"I'll see you later" he says to the group, but only looking at you as he speaks, exiting the room shortly after, leaving you to tilt your head in agreement. The rest of your group pools out of the room as do you not long after.
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A buzz on your phone causes you to stop doing what you're doing, setting down your lipgloss on your vanity before picking it up to check the message.
It's from Jake, and he's asking if you would like to come study with him at a nearby cafe.
You nearly fall out of your chair when you realize you weren't hallucinating, quickly messaging him back a "sure", trying not to get too excited when you get dressed after deciding on a cafe and heading out the door. its not a long walk from your apartment, giving your legs a good stretch after spending hours in your bed studying other subjects for classes your enrolled in. you enter the cafe, your eyes automatically finding Jakes lean figure. he lifts his head up from his computer, sensing your presence enter the building as he waves you over. he stands up so you could scoot into the booth next to him, deciding it was better to see each others screens than have to turn them around every five seconds.
his toothy grin makes you smile as he looks at you, recropricating his fondness. the two of you get to talking about the beginning of your lecture project, and the more that he talks, the more you begin to realize how much he knows about experiments conducted in the past, his knowledge crystal clear and unbelievably accurate. you look at him in wonder, not understanding how he knows so much about things that have happened so long ago.
"how do you know all this stuff?" you ask him, cutting his sentence short as you look up at him. his glasses frame his face so well, and you can see why every girl wont shut up about him. he really is breathtaking.
he brings his bottom lip inbetween his teeth to stop himself from laughing at your question, the most heartwarming smile on his face. he pushes his glasses up to the bridge of his nose and you take note of his eye color; dark brown.
"psychology is my major too, y/n. I also love learning about how the human brain works" the way he says 'human' makes your stomach churn, but you pay it no mind.
"you're really smart for someone who's only 21" you laugh at him. just as he's about to say something, a waiter with your drink comes over and goes to hand it to you. Without thinking, you lean over Jake, one of your breasts presses up against his arm gently and your hair gets in his face; he doesn't move. he doesn't want to move. you smell good.
so fucking good as you get closer to him. everything moves in slow motion in jakes mind as you're oblivious to the thoughts coursing through his skull. his eyes start to become heavy as time begins to catch up to speed. you thank the waiter and lean back on your seat, your body peeling away from his. a distasteful look clouds his face as he wants to grab you and pull you to press up against him again, but he controls himself.
you take a sip of your drink with a hum before looking at the man next to you, freezing at the look on his pale face.
"Jake, are you okay?" your voice rings through out his head and suddenly he's snapped out of his thoughts as he turns to you, his eyes still heavy.
"yes, yeah im okay" he says, trying to push a reassuring smile out to comfort you. you dont look away, concern laced in your tone
"are you sure? you dont look so good" you say, leaning closer to him. your hand raises before you can event think. the back of your hand comes in contact with his forehead and much to your surprise, he doesn't have a fever, its actually quite the opposite.
he's cold. almost freezing. you gasp and furrow your eyebrows. Jake takes note and quickly grabs your wrist in your hand, gently so he doesn't hurt you, and brings it down.
"I'm okay y/n, really" his smile is genuine this time. he's never had someone worry about him so easily before and he's never had someone talk to him about their interests, let alone his. ever.
your lips part as a small, shallow breath leaves your throat, your cheeks warming up. you take notice in the fact that his hand the same tempature as his forehead. you stare at each other before you feel jakes thumb gently caressing the skin on your wrist, breaking you out of your trance. you lift your wrist away from his hold, but not before your fingers lace around his in a small squeeze, deciding to do something slightly risky.
you pick up the glass and take another sip. you almost choke when you hear Jake laughing from above you, loud and clear. you set the glass down and look up at him, your lips in a full pout as you cross your arms.
"dont tell me you're one of those matcha haters." you tighten your lips and glare at his laughing. he shakes his head and begins to calm before speaking to you through giggles
"matcha tastes like grass y/n, how could you like that stuff" you huff at his sentence, kicking his foot under the table before turning away from him, his eyes being met with your back.
"oh y/n, dont ignore me, im only expressing my opinion. you can't be mad at meee" his hands move before he can process what he's doing, his fingers find your waist and tickle you.
your body spins around as a loud shriek forces its way out of your throat, a loud laugh following in pursuit. you shake in his hold, your palms desperately trying to smack his hands away as laughter fills the whole building.
"okay okay im not mad let me go" he stops tickling you, but his hands dont leave your waist, and you don't even realize it. he can feel your warmth under his fingertips and the blood coursing through your veins, your body and soul very much prominent and alive. it fills Jake with so many emotions.
"what do you like to drink then, mr. picky" he almost answers your question honestly, but he bites his tongue.
"something much sweeter than matcha" his tone darkens playfully and it makes you slightly lightheaded. You can now feel his hands on you, his fingers tightening around your figure, but you don't say anything about it, and you can't understand why.
Jake comes to his senses when you squirm under his hands ever so slightly. your body's pulse as well as your flowing blood being felt under his hands becomes quickly overstimulating, making him clench his jaw. he lets you go before muttering a quick
"I'll text you later" before speed walking out of the cafe, leaving you lightheaded and almost breathless. you walk home in confusion after spending the last few hours of your day with Jake studying and talking. you hear a distant scream a few blocks away, but that's normal in a city like this, so you push it to the back of your head once you enter your apartment for the night.
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"y/n..." a dark voice sings you name. you turn around in what appears to be an empty, dark space with no walls and the ground around you is filled with shallow water that leaves your bare feel cold.
"y/n" the voice echos, louder this time. your heart begins to pound in your chest, but you can't get your feet to move for the life of you. your breathing is heavy and it feels like you're about to be snatched up. you look around, no light, sound, or anything can be seen or heard in the weird universe you find yourself in.
That's until you turn your body around, finally getting your feet to move
That's when you see it: a figure with a blurred face stands a ways away from you, but you can almost see it clearly, carrying something
no, somebody.
Your freaked out breathing increases, but you stand your ground. you squint your eyes, making out the small drops of a red liquid stained the clothes its wearing, you can tell now its a man carrying a woman in a short white nightgown stained in the same red liquid that matches the color of his clothes, similar to your own night gown you sleep in every night. the mans face is blurry, but you can still see the red that stains his chin and neck, your eyes working their way down his figure to see his fingertips painted in the same, dark color. you can feel the grin on his face from where your standing. The woman doesn't move or make a sound. she's completely limp in his arms.
within the blink of an eye, he's standing in front of you, his face still blurry as the woman disappears from his hold
"be careful with who you trust" he whispers. the way he moved was so quick, it scared you into falling into the water below you, and suddenly you jump up out of your bed with a gasp. your hand clenches your chest as your heave for air. you shake your head and turn on the light on your bedside table.
You look around, scared out of your mind before getting the courage to get up and walk to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and chugging the entire thing before putting it down on the counter, leaning down to stretch your back.
"it was only a nightmare" you say to yourself, standing up straight and running your fingers through your hair. You walk into the living room to check the time. 5:30 am and your psychology class starts at 8:00 am. You decide to take a shower and make yourself breakfast instead of going back to sleep, you're too awake to do so anyways, the dream forcing you into being fully alert.
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Walking into class, now tired out of your mind from getting up so early, you set your bag down and sit next to Jake. you lean over the desk with your head in your hands, face buried in your arms as you let out a groan.
"are you okay" Jake puts a comforting hand on your back that eases you. you turn your head to look at him, your eyes tired while you nod your head. Jake doesn't believe you and cocks his head to the side, a questioning look sweeps over his face as he looks at you.
"I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, I'm so tired." you say, not looking away from him, the cutest pout on your lips. Jake wants nothing more than to kiss you right then and there, but he holds himself.
"I know how that feels" he says, his face softening. class begins and you end up falling asleep for the entire two hours, Jake taking down notes for you. he watches your peaceful figure, your shoulders moving up and down gently as your breathing is calm.
You feel a hand rubbing up and down your back and the softest, sweetest voice lure you out of your sleepy state. you blink your eyes open as you realize Jake is the one coaxing you out of your little nap.
"hi sleepy girl" the nickname makes your heart swell in your ribcage as you look up at him with a smile
"how long was I asleep for?" you ask him, not moving. he chuckles before answering your question.
"the whole class" you sit up quicker than the speed of sound, looking around to notice the class packing up, the clock striking 10 am. you shake your head in disappointment
"you let me sleep through the lecture??" you ask him in a sassy tone without meaning to, but he doesn't take it to heart
"you needed the sleep, I didn't want to wake you. you looked so peaceful" he says, his hand on your back leaving. you look at your open MacBook, then back at him
"I took the notes for you, if that helps" he gestures at the screen and you look at the organized notes before your expression softens
"im sorry for having an attitude, I'm just kind of anal about taking notes, but you did them perfectly" you stand up and close your laptop, putting it in your bag before slinging it over your shoulder.
"y/n, do you wanna hang out? we can study too if you want"
I just want to spend time with you.
you're glad he asked before you could, because you're not too sure you would have due to the fact that you were just too shy. you nod your head and walk out of the classroom side by side.
"where do you want to go?" you ask him as you begin to walk off campus. He shrugs his shoulders as he thinks, not really knowing where to go. you also think for a moment before the two of you begin talking in unison
"do you wanna go get food and then go to a park?" you ask him as he cuts his sentence short to listen to you. he nods his head
"that's perfect" he says as the two of you make your way to a cafe not far from campus. the bell dings, signaling to the workers that the two of you entered the building. Both of you stand in the short line to order, but you suddenly have the urge to pee.
"Jake, can you hold my things, I have to use the bathroom" you say. without needing any words, he grabs your tote off your shoulder and slings it around his. he smiles at you as you grip his arm gently without realizing it, walking off after. your touch lingers on his arm, even as he's ordering he can still feel your warmth.
you walk out of the bathroom after washing your hands to be met with Jake talking to another girl. She's beautiful; long blonde hair and a button nose, she's skinny and her clothes bring out her curves. she's holding onto Jakes arm, and before you could feel any sort of jealousy, he shifts under her hold uncomfortably, peeling out of her grasp with the fakest smile you've ever seen. you pause in your tracks, picking up on the conversation.
"You're so handsome, it's incredible" she says, tilting her head and batting her eyelashes at him. he chuckles and shakes his head. How could she not see the obviously pink tote bag littered with keychains and plushies on it? He clenches his jaw and musters out a "thank you"
"do you want to, I dont know, hang out? we could go back to my place?" she asks, eyeing him up and down. he shakes his head instantly, denying her invitation
"no thanks, im good. I'm actually here with someone" he cocks his head in your direction and she spins around, glaring at you. surprise takes over your body as you question how the fuck he knew you were standing there in the hidden corner without him even glancing at you. Your jaw slacks open in a quiet gasp as his eyes shift over to yours, not even needing to move his body or head to look at you. his stare makes you feel things you shouldn't. his eyes are telling you to come to him, so you obey, the both of them staring at you
You go to stand next to him shyly and Jake can't help but admire how obedient you are. he's not meaning to have such perverted thoughts about you at a time like this, but he can't help himself you're just too fucking adorable.
good girl
he thinks to himself. the girl huffs and walks away without a single word. you turn to face him
"good riddance, these girls have no shame" he says, smiling down at you
"you don't like it when girls approach you?"
"correction, I don't like it when they throw themselves at me" he says and before the conversation can continue, he holds up an iced matcha for you. you smile and look at it, then at him again.
"you bought it for me?" you ask and cup the cold drink in your hands.
"don't even think of paying me back" he says, still holding your tote as his now empty hand finds its way to gently grasp the small of your back, ushering the two of you out of the building and towards a non-busy park. You walk side by side through the cool, crisp autumn breeze. the golden, red, and brown leaves falling and crunching under your feet and the smell of the earth is calming. you take a sip of your drink and hum. Jake looks at you, admiring the way you enjoy the small things around you.
the both of you silently approach the grassy park and sit down next to each other. you set your drink down as he mimics your actions with your bag, putting it down next to him.
you lay down, your hair sprawled out on the ground but you don't care, you have to shower today anyways.
"its so nice outside, Its finally sweater weather, I can use my hoodies now" you say out in the open, not directly to Jake but at the world
"are you cold?" he asks you, moving to take his hoodie off before you can reply.
"a little, but its nice" before you open your eyes, you feel Jakes arms around your shoulders, ushering you to sit up as he helps you put his hoodie on. you take his hoodie as a kind gesture and put it on. its comforting, but not quite warm. you would think that his body heat would make the jacket at least a little warm, but its not.
it smells like him and your body begins to relax into the material of the jacket, feeling comforted.
"thank you, but aren't you gonna be cold?" you ask
"I don't get cold" you look at him, confusion written all over your face, but you take his words as a joke.
"ha ha, I guess you're just built different" you fake a sarcastic laugh at him and lay down again, Jake following after, laying next to you.
"do you have a girlfriend" you don't mean to be so direct, but his earlier actions confuse you, making you wonder if he just isn't looking for anything, or he already has a girlfriend. he turns to look at you, a serious look on his face as he speaks
"no. I've never fallen in love before and I don't plan to." he says as you turn to face him now, a little sad, but you listen to him with undivided attention.
"why?"
"everybody wants to just use me for my body. I don't understand it. not to toot my own horn but I do know that I am attractive, but im so much more than a handsome face. I want somebody to love me for me." he says and you become breathless, feeling the exact same way. you nod before you speak, looking deeply into his now hazel eyes
"I feel the same way. ive never met anybody who thinks the same way as I do apart from my best friend. I want to love someone and I want someone to love me, I don't want just sex I want-
-passion" Jake says the same word as you do. your face turns a deep shade of red. no other words needing to be said. his eyes lure you in dangerously close and suddenly you're daydreaming of kissing him.
kissing him with so much force and emotion it makes heat rise to your core, spreading throughout your body like fireworks.
"they're wrong about you" you blurt out as you keep daydreaming.
"I know" he says sadly. you can feel his emotions, as he feels yours.
"you're so kind, I dont understand how everybody can say such things" you chew the skin on the bottom of your lip after the words leave your mouth, worried you've said too much.
"you're too sweet to me" he's being serious. he's done unspeakably bad things, and he's dangerous. He's been telling himself to stay away from you out of fear he might hurt you as well because you're different than all the rest, but that fact alone drives him in more. you're like his muse. you're all he's been thinking about as of late, but no matter how hard he's been trying, he just can't stay away from you. he thinks of how badly he wants to crawl over you and devour you, show you how badly you've begun to take over every thought in his mind and the reasoning as to every action he's started making.
you've begun to drive him mad, and he's never wanted to take, taste, keep something to himself so badly.
his eyes shift color ever so slightly and you can almost swear they darken, his eyes getting heavy. however, you're not the least bit scared. you're intrigued.
you want to know what makes him tick. you want to know what he's thinking and why. his eyes flood into you, making you feel like your drowning in his stare. a coil starts to form in your lower abdomen, and you wonder how in the hell that's happened when he hasn't even hinted towards touching you.
"Jake" his name rolls off your tongue in a breathless whisper, almost like a hushed moan and its music to his ears. he hums in response, urging you to continue.
"do you think you could eventually fall in love?" you ask him, wishing he would give you the answer you would like to hear.
"I will, I can feel it." he says answering your question. he doesn't want to, but he feels himself falling for you ever so slowly, a ticking time bomb he wish he could defuse. he doesn't want you to be a part of his life because that would put you in danger, making you one of the most beautiful walking targets, and he would hurt anybody who even thought of laying a finger on you because of him.
but he doesn't want to let you go. the internal battle he's having with himself only grows with every passing second he's with you, and he's falling into insanity. with his slow decent into madness, yours follows not far after.
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this universe is a deep shade of red, and its dark. the cool water floods around your feet, making them cramp with how cold the temperature is. you've finally worked up the courage to walk around, wondering why you always find yourself in this familiar place every single night.
the only sound that echoes in the never ending universe is water rustling around, and your shallow breathing. it feels as though you've been walking for hours, if not days trying to find the answer as to why you've been brought here so frequently.
a scream makes you jump, whipping your head around as your heart feels like its going to leap into your throat and out of your mouth. your nails dig into your palms, attempting to ground yourself. you can see the familiar figure, holding the same woman in the white night gown, still stained in red.
you dare walk closer, tired of being played with like a game in your own dream world. you clench your jaw and swallow, hard. you begin to walk over with confidence, but all of your thoughts are drained from your body once you realize what's happening.
He's holding her in his arms bridal style, his knees digging into the wet floor as his face is in her neck. she's facing away from you, so you can't see who it is, but you can hear the moans of... agony, pleasure? you can't tell as they roll off her tongue and into your ears.
the water begins to turn red underneath the two of them, and all you want to do is wake up
wake up
wake up
please
but your frozen as you attempt to piece together what's unfolding before you. your jaw slacks open when one of his free hands slides under the slip of her dress, touching her in ways that make you feel tingly, now realizing her moans are ones of pleasure.
you gasp when he lifts his head up, his hair covering his eyes as he chuckles darkly. his face isn't blurred anymore, and you can almost just make out his face-
your hands fly to your mouth, trying to stop yourself from gasping even louder as he looks up at you, his mouth stained a with deep crimson red liquid that drips down his chin and onto his suit. a smirk litters his face as you can see the undeniably prominent fangs that stand out like a rose in a field of weeds.
"Jake.."
you shoot up out of bed, trying to understand what's happening. a loud bang makes you just about jump out of your skin and your window flies open, your curtains dancing in the night wind. you get up quickly and slam it shut before running back into bed and under the covers. your hands rake through your hair, pulling on it out of stress.
you just had a dream about Jake and he was.. inhuman. its not possible, it can't be. your hands move down to cover your face as you whine, realizing he wasn't just inhuman, but he was fingering someone, touching them in all the ways you wished he would touch you, and suddenly you start to think the most disgusting, vile thoughts of the man you've befriended less than two months ago.
thoughts ranging from kissing each other deeply, his hands all over you, touching your every nook and cranny you possess as he sucks deep, purple marks into your skin, his hands traveling down to the hem of your panties as he slips them to the side, sliding his fingers in and out of you ever so gently as if you were the most fragile little doll ever made
to him fucking you deep into the mattress, biting and grabbing you everywhere he could reach, his cock breeding you and engraving his shape into your body for all of eternity, marking you his as he carves his name into his creation, his little doll.
you feel disgusting as your fingers slip inside your underwear, dragging against your clit as you make yourself wetter at the though of Jake using you in every way possible. you slip down into the mattress as you begin fingering yourself, wishing he would come and replace your dainty little fingers with his long ones, stretching you and abusing your hole as if it were his own, and honestly, you wish he would come claim you.
"y-yun,,," you moan quietly, but much to your obliviousness, he hears your call, watching you from the darkest corner of your room, watching you unravel yourself just for him,, all because of him.
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"okay only two weeks until the project is due and we have to present, we just need to do revisions" one of your group partners says to the group. your head is in your hands, shielding yourself from the sun coming in through the windows. Jake puts a comforting hand on your back, luring you out of your almost-sleepy daze.
"are you okay?" he asks gently, his tone sincere. you turn your head to look at him, nodding with a small smile on your face. he looks at you as if he doesn't believe you, but doesn't push the issue.
"Ive done all my revisions, so im pretty much all done unless any of you need my help with anything" he says. you shift under his hand still rubbing your back.
"I'm all done too, ive been staying up late at night to get this done because I have other classes I need to focus on" you lie through your teeth. The real reason you haven't been getting sleep is because you have the same exact dream every single night, and it wakes you up at exactly four in the morning on the dot. its been almost three months now and you're starting to feel restless, and now with the new information that the man in your dreams is indeed Jake, you don't know how to feel. One thing you do know for certain is that you've begun to grow feelings for the blonde haired boy. The way he looks at you is alluring, and it the fact that the two of you have been hanging out almost every other day isn't helping your case. Whether it be studying for an exam, or watching a movie at home, you always find yourself with Jake as of recently. His presence is comforting, and you're beginning to become attached.
You feel gross for thinking it, but you've also been feeling a sort of urge with him. Thinking about how well he would fit inside you and how good it would feel. What kind of sounds would he make when he's fucking you. Would he moan, or keep quiet? Little to your knowledge, he's been thinking the same thing about you.
Would you writhe underneath him, or take his cock like the good girl he's come to be obsessed with. Would you whimper or scream? He wants all of you, especially the part he's most scared of taking.
You just smell so good.
He can't help but want to taste you. not only is your pussy making him want to do unspeakable things, but so is your blood. pure, innocent, and so full of life. your heart is also calling out his name without you realizing it, and so is his.
Even though his isn't beating or pumping blood throughout is body, he wishes it would beat just for you, all because of you. He still feels that red hot firework throughout his stomach and mind whenever he's around you, and all he wants to do is hold you and tell you how badly he craves you, needs you, wants you.
Your mind, body, and soul he wants to take for himself.
"lets go back to your place so you can nap, okay?" he says into your ear and you nod quicker than you can even think. He packs up his back as well as yours and carries them out of the building the four of you decided to study in for the day and head over to your apartment.
"y/nnnn" Jake says, throwing his head back as you look up at him through your eyelashes, you don't say anything, but pout instead.
"y/n please" you shake your head no, the pout not faltering.
"if I watch this with you, can you at LEAST let me teach you how to play Fortnite. All my friends are ass at playing" you groan, throwing your head back now.
"please please please please please-"
"FINE oh my god I just wanted to watch twilight for fucks sake you can teach me" you throw a pillow at him from your position on the floor before turning around to plug the dvd into the dvd player. you hear Jake snicker from behind you. you whip your head around with a glare, your lips sucked between your teeth.
"why on earth are you using a dvd player" he laughs.
"i'm going to strangle you." you say seriously, but Jake takes it as a challenge.
"oh yeah?" he spreads his legs apart slightly, manspreading on the couch as his arms are folded behind is head, and the way he's looking at you makes you feel hot and heavy, quickly.
"I'd like to see you try" your cheeks heat up, but you decide to stand up and charge at him anyways with a laugh. you jump onto his lap and your hands find their way to his neck, attempting to choke him out, but he grabs both your wrists in his one arm and flips your back onto the couch below you, hovering over your body.
suddenly, this game isn't funny anymore, as your thighs clamp down together as his face is only a couple mere inches away from yours. your lips part as you let out a shaky breath. you clasp your thighs together and Jake can smell the arousal pooling in your panties.
"Jake" there you go again, saying his name in the most beautiful, breathless and airy way possible. he drops his head down and shakes it, trying so hard to control himself.
"fuck,,, y/n.." he says quietly and you hum. he's eyeballing your neck, his own arousal and lust just about clouding his mind before a harsh knock scares you, making you jump in his hold. your arousal is stripped away from you as you turn towards the door.
"pizzas here" is all Jake says before letting you out of his grasp and heading towards the door, pulling out his wallet and saying for your pizza. you lay there while he's paying, trying to figure out what the hell that was. you felt so extremely turned on and Jake looked at you like he wanted to either kill you, or fuck you until you were completely braindead. You sit up as he puts the pizza on the living room table and the movie starts playing when you hit play on the remote.
The two of you watch in comfortable silence as you munch on your second slice of pizza.
"That's not how vampires actually are" he blurts out randomly. you turn to him and tilt your head in confusion
"what?" you ask him, swallowing your bite and putting the crust back into the box.
"not all vampires have powers, only the strongest of the strong have powers. its actually rare for a vampire to actually get their own individual powers, they're just fast and strong" he says in a matter of fact tone and it makes you wonder. It's odd how much knowledge he has about this sort of thing and he's talked about it before in front of you whenever you talk about mythical creatures.
"how do you know that" you look at him, turning your body to look at him fully as the movie becomes background noise.
"the internet is free, silly girl" he covers up his knowledge and shifts his gaze towards you, the movie pushed to the back of both your minds.
"that could be true, but we dont know for certain because its not real" you say trying to comfort yourself. Jake rolls his eyes with a small "sure" before smirking at you, leaning in towards your frame.
"what..." you say, leaning in the opposite direction. his hands come to either side of your legs, trapping you. one of his hands places itself on your waist and in less than a fraction of a second, he's ticking the life out of you as you scream for mercy.
"Jake pleaseeee let me go- pl- Jake please" you scream at him while laughing, writing under his fingers.
"nuhuh, you asked for this" he laughs with you and your hands fling up and around his neck, shaking your head from side to side. he stops ticking you and looks down, a smile still on his face. he collapses to the side of you after a moment of staring, and pulls you into his body by your waist, your head on his chest. your body relaxes into his hold and you nuzzle your face into him. this is the closest the two of you have gotten, and now he's finally holding you in one of the ways he's craved for what feels like eternity, and you could basically say that.
He's waited for someone like you to come around for hundreds of years, never being able to fall in love in the centuries of being on this earth, and he can't repress his feelings anymore as you fall asleep in his hold. Your steady breathing and the beating of your heart bring him comfort that nobody, and nothing else ever could. he kisses your forehead gently before groaning to himself.
He is so fucked.
he thinks to himself as he closes his eyes as he breathes in your scent, his arms around you tightening as if that would help protect you from all the evil in this world, including him.
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"Guys we got an A...." one of your group members says with a huge smile. you squeal and jump, giving your group mates a high five before Jake is pulling you into him from behind, giving you a huge hug.
"I knew we could do it, we're all way too smart for this class anyways" Jake says to everyone
"it helps that we had the smartest girl in school on our team too" he whispers in your ear as a deep shade of blush coats your cheeks. you turn around and slap his chest with an eye roll.
"be quiet" you shake your head and wave off your other, now past group members as they walk out of the class for the end of the semester.
"lets celebrate, wanna go get something to drink and go to the beach?" Jake asks and you look at him like he's crazy.
"Jake it's almost winter, what on earth are we gonna do at the beach?" you ask him, not quite rejecting his idea. he grabs your tote bag and slings it over his shoulder.
"I just want to look at the ocean and walk around, you don't have to come if-"
"No I want to, lets go" you grab his wrist interrupting him, dragging him out of the classroom and towards the campus cafe. The wind is chilly a sit blows your white maxi skirt, the hoodie Jake let you borrow a couple months ago keeping you warm. you turn to look at the blonde behind you before looking at him in surprise
"how are you not cold" you motion to the thin black t-shirt he's wearing. he shrugs his shoulders and pulls you to walk next to him instead of in front.
"I don't get cold often, remember?" he says, making the memory of him telling you that before front in your mind.
"oh yes I remember now, are you sure you're not cold?' he nods his head and looks to you with a reassuring smile before opening the door to the cafe, holding it open for you as you trot inside. you order a hot chocolate, offering Jake something but he declines.
The cafe is pretty, the walls a nice pretty green color with fairy lights littering the walls around you. it's not super busy especially for it being the middle of the day. Your drinks are finished and the two of you walk to the beach, not too far from the college. you grab his cold hand and lace his fingers with yours and urge him onto the sand, the water crashing down and meeting with the small grains to make a beautiful sound.
"its been so long since ive been to the beach, ive been so busy" you say and breathe in the salty air, and finish your drink, throwing it away at a near trash can and you start walking along the beach, avoiding the ocean water to not get your shoes wet. Jake follows you, walking a couple feet behind you.
Once you realize he's behind you, you stop and turn around to face him, questioning why he's walking behind you and not next to you. He stops in his tracks too, watching your body. Suddenly, an idea hits him as a shit eating grin makes its way to his face and you get the urge to run, watching the gears in his head turn. You spin around without questioning it and run away from him, and he takes off after you. You laugh and turn your head noticing how close he's gotten in such a short amount of time. You scream and pick up pace, but much to your avail, his arms wrap around your smaller frame and pick you up in the air. you kick your feet trying to get out of his hold, but he's strong, keeping you in his arms. He spins you around and throws himself on the ground, your body falling on top of his with a squeal.
"oh my god Jake, didn't that hurt?" you laugh and he shakes his head. you rest your chin on his chest as he lays in the sand, admiring how perfect his facial structure is. the way his blue eyes
blue eyes?
glitter in tune with the crystal ocean water. he brings his hand up to you, pushing the stray hairs out of your face and behind your ear. you shift on top of him and he feels every inch of your body very quickly. the way you smell is overwhelming and the way your warm, beautiful body is pressed against him pushes his senses into overdrive. his eyes change from blue to a deep red and within the fraction of a second, he's pushing your back into the sand with a small yelp coming from you, his face is in your neck, inhaling your scent deeply through his nose and out of his mouth. you whine, shifting uncomfortably underneath him as you wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers finding his hair.
"Jake..?" you call out to him, but he doest hear you as he bites down on his bottom lip, hard as an attempt to control himself. he groans into your skin and it sends vibrations throughout your body. one of his hands is on your waist, his fingertips digging into your skin, but you can't feel it.
You pull his head up to look you in the eyes, but when you see him, your lips part and you become breathless.
Hes so incredibly handsome, but he looks like he's in pain. his nails dig into your skin and you yelp, tightening your grip in his hair without realizing, making him moan and fall into your neck again.
"j-jake?? are you okay?" your worry makes him want to split you open and fuck you right there in the sand, but he can't. he wont hurt you. He shakes his head and tightens his grip once more before letting you go gently, standing up and looking down at you, a harsh look in his eyes as he speaks.
"I can't y/n.. I can't- fuck..." he cocks his neck away from you and walks away, so quickly it's almost as if he disappeared. you lay in the sand, awe struck and trying to figure out what the hell just happened. you lay there for a few minutes, wishing he would come back, say something- anything to you. your suspicions grow with every passing second and before you could let your mind go into overdrive, you get up and brush the sand off. on your walk home, you try and think of something else, anything to take your mind off the raging, burning hot pit in the bottom of your abdomen. you bite your lip so hard, it starts bleeding when you approach the door of your apartment.
You slam the door behind you and lock it. you throw off your clothes, suddenly feeling hot despite the cold weather. you get in the shower, trying to wash yourself clean, but no matter how many pumps of body wash you use or how red you scrub your skin, you feel dirty.
Does Jake not want to be around you because he figured out you have a crush on him? or even worse... you want him to use you? fuck you? you groan and throw your loofa on the ground and turn off the water.
after getting dressed and drying off your hair, you think about what to eat for dinner, but instantly feel nauseous at the thought of eating, so you just turn on the tv to distract your brain, but the phone on the corner of the table is calling your name.
You stare at the device before scooping it up to see if Jake texted you.
Nothing.
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The red universe has now become your second home as you find yourself here once again. the water isn't as cold as it normally is, it's actually quite warm. you clench your jaw with an eye roll and begin to walk around, looking for the familiar blonde boy and the mysterious woman in white.
it feels as though you've been walking around for hours before your eyes land on the familiar scene, only this time, its clearer.
he's once again on his knees with her in his arms, his hand is slipped under her night gown, her moans echoing off the chambers of your skull, a pang of jealousy hits you straight in the heart as you scowl.
he lifts his head and turns to you, the blood of the woman staining his lip and clothes, the same black suit has undertones of red and you tense at the eye contact. his fingers work faster inside of her as she turns her head, looking dead at you as you gasp.
All these nights of waking up with your clit pulsating and your mind as tired as can be finally all make sense as you look at the woman
a perfect mirror
its you
"no,,," you whisper
"oh yes" he chuckles darkly, and you go to turn your head because when he spoke, the voice wasn't coming from Jake himself, but from behind you.
when you turn your head, your body freezes as you're now on the ground exactly where the mirrored version of you was and you moan loudly at the quick ripples of pleasure that flow throughout your body, caused by jakes fingers working inside you, pumping your walls as you become as wet as the ground beneath you.
you turn your head to look at the man above you. his eyes are a deep, vibrant red and even though its dark, his pale skin is shimmering as if you're in a room full of lights.
"Jake.." you whimper to him, his eyebrows pinch together and suddenly he looks like he's in pain, giving you the same exact look he had given earlier at the beach.
he lowers his head to your neck, and bites down.
Your moans pick up volume as they fill your dark room, the moonlight cascades in through your window as jakes silhoutte is illuminated perfectly, his shadow pours down onto the bed where you moan his name in your sleep so prettily.
You fling yourself out of sleep, sitting up with heavy panting, your chest heaving up and down. Jake looks at you as you awaken, his figure looming over you as he stands at the foot of the bed. you feel anothers presence and decide to look up and that's when you see him. his eyes are as red as they were in your dream, and there are prominent eye bags that soil his perfect skin. the spaghetti straps on your white nightgown fall off your shoulders and your hair is a mess. with parted lips, you breathy call his name, but he doesn't move, nor does he speak.
"Jake please..." you call again. he bites his lip and shakes his head.
"I can't.." his pained voice responds finally after your plea. you feel your eyes burning and your clit is throbbing more than it ever has in your life, your forehead is starting to get glossy as sweat begins to rise on your skin. you shake your head, not understanding the meaning of all of this, the dreams, him running away, why he's so cold all the time but can't feel it, his eye color changes, why you've never seen him eat, or drink.
Why can't you read him?
"I don't understand, Jake please" you whine at him and it drives him crazy, falling head over heels once more. his hands make their way up to his hair as he tugs on it out of frustration.
"I'm in love with you y/n." his words vibrate your body, your eyes widening when you understand them.
"but I can't be with you."
"why?" you cry out to him, begging him to do anything, touch you, hold you, feel you. you need something, you need him more than anything.
"I can't hurt you. I wont do it." he turns around looking out of the window, and for the first time in his pathetic life, he feels his eyes sting, his thirst increasing with every passing second.
"I want you, please. you could never hurt me, I don't want you to go, Jake I-" you cut yourself off as he turns towards you, his hands dropping out of his hair to dangle by his sides.
"I love you" he scoffs, not believing you.
"you love a person who kills people in order to survive." you shake your head in disbelief, knowing this would come sooner or later.
"you love a person who has been resisting the urge to take you since the first moment he's laid his eyes on you, y/n." his voice is dark but somehow sweet. you shake your head again, denying his words.
"you love a monster."
"you're wrong. I love you Jake, I love Sim Jaeyun, I need you please- please don't leave me" you squeak out the last bit of your sentence. your eyes pleading him to stay. the arousal only growing stronger the longer his around you and he can sense it.
"I don't care that you're a vampire, I don't care about any of it I just need you, im begging you Jaehyun. stay with me, please. I can't imagine myself without you I dont want that" you get up on your knees, crawling over to his body that stands near the edge of the bed. his lips are parted, giving you a full view of his fangs that you've never ever seen before.
if he had one, his heart would have been shattered in his chest with the way you're looking at him; worried and completely heartbroken. he would rip it out and gift it to you on a silver platter if it meant he could be with you with no risks. so the venom coursing through is veins at rapid speed replaces his heart. he's never felt hot in his life up until this moment, where the woman he's been waiting for for centuries is begging for him. his eyes hold pain as they meet yours.
His hand moves up to grip your chin softly, ghosting his fingers along your skin before cupping your cheek, caressing your face with his thumb.
"I won't hurt you y/n. I can't.. imagine having an existence without you in it, but I refuse to cause you any pain. I wont do it" his voice is stern, a single tear falling from his eye and down his cheek in frustration. you want him to understand how badly you need him.
"you could never do such a thing, please, im begging you please don't leave me.." your eyes reassure him. it takes a moment of silence and a lot of thinking before he speaks, finally giving you an ounce of hope.
"if I stay here with you, y/n, you'll never be able to leave. you're life will forever be different. if you want me to stay, you'll be marked as mine, permanently. do you understand love?" he gives you the final opportunity to back out, and some sick part of him hopes you will stay. you nod your head in his grasp, but that's not enough for him.
"words, sweetheart."
"I want you and only you in this lifetime, and all the ones after, I promise. I'm yours" you say in a whisper, and that's exactly what Jake wanted to hear. he bends down so his face is right in front of yours
"I love you" he says quickly under his breath before his lips capture yours in a deep, heated kiss. giving up on the last bit of restraint he had. this kiss was one filled with so much desire and longing that it makes you whine into his mouth, and he happily swallows it. his free hand moves to the outside of your thigh, and before you realize, a flip switches in Jakes mind as he's picking you up by the bottom of your thigh, his huge hand swallowing you as he pushes you up farther on the bed, pinning you down. his teeth scratch your bottom lip as your teeth crash against each other. your hands fly to his hair, gripping on his blonde locks to keep you from floating out of your body. his hand then moves towards your knee, spreading your legs apart.
His hand slips up the silk of your night gown, his fingers met with the flimsy lace fabric of your panties that are soaked through and through. he growls lowly before he speaks
"you drive me so. fucking. insane." is all he says before pulling the fabric to the side and dipping his freezing fingers in your wet folds. you break the kiss as your eyes fly closed, white hot pleasure coursing through your veins as he rubs concentrated figure eights on your slit. your mouth slacks open in a perfect 'o' shape. Jake takes this opportunity to dip his face in-between the skin of your neck and shoulder, sucking the prettiest shade of purple into your soft skin. he can now hear your blood flowing.
he licks a stripe up the junction of your neck and collarbones and towards your ear, biting down on the lobe which causes you to arch your back into him. Jake takes this opportunity to plunge two long fingers into your tight cunt, and he chuckles at how tight you squeeze his digits. you turn your head to face him and he detaches from your neck, looking down at you.
your face buries itself into his neck, finding comfort in his cool skin against your hot face. your moans muffle against him as you flutter around his fingers deep inside of you.
he curls his fingers up, grazing your sweetspot perfectly and you moan his name rather loudly.
"let me hear you my darling" you detach from his neck and open your eyes, looking into his red ones as your parted lips moan his name in the most sinful chant he's ever heard. his fingers twist and curl into you faster, making your hips buck up into his palm.
Jake sits up and uses his free hand to push your hips down into the mattress, keeping you from moving.
"stay still" he commands, and you obey. Jake slowly sinks down onto the bed as his fingers pull out of you. you whine in protest, but quickly hush your mouth when he pulls your red lace panties down your legs with his teeth, his fangs on full display. you clench down on nothing at the sight and he sees this, chuckling darkly.
he throws your legs over his shoulders as he pins your hips down with one of his hand, the other coming to trace the slit of your pussy, gently rubbing a circle around your clit every time he makes his way back up. you groan in frustration after a minute passes, but that's quickly cut short as he forces two of his digits inside your pussy, curling upwards instantly to scratch your g-spot. you attempt to thrust your hips forward, but are met with the rough forcefulness of jakes hand keeping you pinned to your silk sheets.
his teeth graze your clit, his hair in his face making you feel the coil in your stomach form. you yelp when he bites down, sucking afterwards to soothe the pain as he begins to eat you out. his tongue is fast against you, the sweat forming on your body creates a beautiful glow on your skin and Jake can almost swear that you walked straight out of a painting. the most beautiful painting ever created. the moonlight cascades down over his figure, his jawline sharp as it moves when he laps at your cunt like a starved animal-
-and that's exactly what he was. your legs wrapped around him in a desperate, failed attempt to suffocate him as you squirm underneath his tongue. fast, wet, and cool as he fucking you from the inside out. his fingers splitting you open as they work inside you. your walls squeeze him tight and he wonders how you'll ever be able to take his cock.
"y-yun,, m'- ffuck" you moan out to him as you grip the silk sheets on either side of you. Jake can't get enough of how sweet you taste. the perfect girl having the most perfect taste, what more could he ask for? He groans into your pussy, his fingers pulling out of you to wrap around your legs, the hand on your abdomen mimicking the others actions as he pulls you into his face. if he could breathe, he would be suffocated. a part of him wishes he could be suffocated because this right here is the closest he's going to be getting to heaven ever. especially with the sinful thoughts that have collected in his head since he met you. he's the devil himself when it comes to you.
You gasp at his actions, gripping his hair tightly between your fingers and grind onto his face. his long tongue fucks itself into you, pulling out to lick, suck, and bite your clit at a perfect rhythm that has your back arching and Jakes name dancing off your tongue creating the sweetest harmony that fills his ears. your juices spill out of his mouth, much to his dismay, and down his chin and onto the bed, soaking the sheets under your ass. your legs shake in his tight grip, your grinding onto his face becomes sloppy as your moans become whimpers. your pussy flutters, and Jake takes note of this. His eyes watch you as he tips you over the edge, spilling all over him as he brings you to your first orgasm. you cream around his tongue as you squirt liquids everywhere. your breathy whine of his name makes his eyes roll into the back of the head with a groan that sends vibrations throughout your body starting at your cunt. he helps you ride out your high, slowly licking and sucking your clit to comfort you on your way down.
you collapse onto the bed as he stands up at the foot of your bed and you hear a click. his belt coming undone as you sit up on your forearms, eyeing him. You're breathless as you stare at the man before you. his eyes glow a deep red and the moonlight hits him perfectly as he takes off his belt in one quick motion, holding it in his hands staring at you.
"so pretty..." you say under your breath towards the creature before you. he chuckles at your words and throws the belt above you on the bed. you go to turn and look at it, but the feeling of his hands wrapped around your ankles prevents you from doing so as he yanks you down to the foot of the bed where he stands. you yelp in surprise as you're face to face with his chest. he grips the base of your jaw in his huge hand, forcing you to look up at him.
"I wan'.. to... want.." your words trail off, not knowing how to word what you want. he tilts his head to the side and brings his hand to the side of your face, cupping your cheek
"tell me what you want baby" his thumb caresses the soft skin, comforting you.
"I wan' you to... taste me..." you whisper and his ears perk up. he sighs, shaking his head.
"oh honey, I wish I could. I really do... but I can't.. I'll hurt you.. I'll lose myself" his hand entangles in your hair, massaging your scalp softly. you whine, shaking your head and furrow your eyebrows. you look up at him and place your fingers in the loop bands of his pants.
"please, yun.. please please please I want you to, need... please plea-" he quickly forces your nightgown above your head and throws it in the corner of the room to be forgotten before his hands find your hair again, yanking it back as you interrupt yourself with a loud scream at the pain. he forces your back down onto the bed as he reaches above you to grab his belt. he ties your arms above your head and around the bed post quicker than you can contemplate. he stands back up at the foot of the bed, watching you squirm under his gaze. he laughs at your helpless figure, finding it way to amusing how easy it is to get you to submit to him.
"you look so cute when you squirm around, my dear" he says unbuttoning his suit jacket and sliding it off, revealing the silky dark brown collared button up. he tilts his head at your whine as he unbuttons the dress shirt painfully slow, sliding it off of his arms to reveal his pale skin and toned body and your mouth waters. he slides the silky material off of him and shoots you a toothy, shit eating grin. one full of lust that makes your thighs clamp together. he unbuttons his dress pants and unzips the zipper, so slowly as if to taunt and tease you.
he slides his pants down passed his ankles and kicks them away, his boxers shielding you from seeing what you want the most. you whine again, signaling him to hurry. he shushes you and pulls his boxers down. his cock springing up to slap against his abdomen, precum leaking from his pink tip. he's huge. long and girthy as you wonder how the fuck that was going to fit inside you. everything about him is perfect, and he just now proved that to you. he crawls over your small frame, his hands enveloping your waist as he caresses your bare skin. the cold air hits your nipples, making them perky and hard, goosebumps littering your skin.
Jake takes his fingernail and presses it against your upper hip on your stomach, his eyes never looking away from you. before you could realize what was happening, he scratches you, hard. you let out a soft yelp at the sudden pain, blood trickling out of the fresh wound and slowly down your hip bone, pooling on your skin. he does it again with his other hand, above the other hip. you yelp, arousal pooling in the pit of your stomach once more and Jake can smell it. his eyes widen as he continues to look at you.
"god, look at you. such a messy, disgusting girl. you're enjoying this hmm?" he says before he cuts you open again. you moan at his words and the pain. your face heating up in embarrassment because what he said was true. you feel hot tears in the back of your eyes you feel so embarrassed, but in a good way. he takes note of your glossy eyes and pouts at you.
"no need to cry sweet thing, ill take care of you." Jake leans over you and kisses your tears away. his kisses trail from your cheeks, down your collarbones and in-between your breasts and down your stomach. he smells your blood before he looks at it, so close that he can basically taste it. his hands find your waist as he holds you in place, his tongue darting out of his mouth to lick the smallest bit of blood off your stomach. His mind goes into overdrive as white hot pleasure rips through him. you're the sweetest thing he's ever tasted, and it makes him want to suck you dry as you struggle underneath him. his grip around you tightens as his long tongue licks up your blood from one of your wounds completely, his lips latching around the cut as he sucks. your walls clench around nothing as you pull at the restraints around your wrists.
he groans into your stomach, your sweet taste covering all his senses as he moves to lick another fresh cut. the way you taste, he will never ever need anything else ever again. nothing could amount to you. you grind your hips into his body as his mouth moves to the final wound, licking it clean and when you look down, surprise overwhelms you as the deep cuts he made are completely healed up scars.
as you look into his eyes, you see Jake for exactly what he is; a vampire. that doesn't scare you away, however it turns you on even further. he quickly pushes himself above you, his lips crashing against yours as he bucks his hips into you, his dick pressing against your heat but not quite going in. you whimper into his mouth, a plea for him to fuck you. you can taste blood on his tongue as you grind against his length, begging him, needing him to use your body.
so that's exactly what he does.
He grabs his cock in his hand and presses it against your entrance, pushing his tip inside of you. you hiss at the stretch, tugging at your restraints. you whine from underneath him. his face finds its way to kissing your neck, littering your skin with his lips. he pushes his dick inside you slowly before bottoming out, his balls slapping against skin.
"so tight, so good baby,, feels like fucking heaven" he says, taking his cock out before pushing it back inside you, his tip instantly kissing your cervix in the sweetest way possible. you scream in pain and pleasure, his dick filling you up perfectly. he lifts his head from your neck so his lips ghost over your skin, breathing hot air on you making you shiver, goosebumps rising to your skin. you squirm in his hold, his hand coming to your waist to hold you in place as the other comes to grip the headboard above you.
His thrusts start off slow and gently, making sure you keep up with his rhythm. your walls flutter around his cock, driving him up the wall before his pace increases, thrusting into you faster and faster, the breathing on your neck giving you chills now as he moans into your neck. your boobs jiggle up and down with every thrusts while your moans begin to sound broken as you choke them out.
Jake licks your neck, making you moan even louder than before and you finally feel scared for the first time, wondering how it's going to feel when he finally sinks his fangs into you. will it hurt? you don't know, but you can't wait to find out. your legs shake and thrash around, and your jaw slacks open in a perfect "o", inhumane sounds spill from your lips as you beg for something you're not even sure of.
Jake growls against your skin, the grip on your waist increasing until his fingernails break the skin of your hips. the smell of blood hits his overdriven senses and he finally bites.
as he sinks his teeth into you, a blood curtailing scream is ripped from your throat, white hot pain shoots down your body in ripples as he sucks the blood out of you through your neck. you kick your legs under him, not sure if you're trying to get away, or make him chase you.
your scream of pain is replaced by pleasure as his venom spreads through your veins, your entire body feels like its on fire and you've never felt so good in your entire life. you pull at the restraints as you shake in his hold. his hand on your waist wraps around your back, pulling you into his body as he thrusts up into you.
Everything becomes too much and you can feel every inch of your body. even with jakes arm wrapped around you, you arch your back somehow closer into him, trying to fuse your body into his, wanting nothing more than to feel complete. you press into him with all your strength, wishing hard enough that you could intertwine your body with his own in order to finally feel as if you were one. he wasn't close enough even though he was all over and in you, spreading through you like ice. you want nothing more than to be whole with him in every way possible.
your pussy flutters around him as the knots in your tummy begin to unravel. your moans change and Jake picks up on it, noting how your body starts going limp in his hold. With much force, and an internal battle, he detached from your neck, moving his face to look into your eyes.
He looks handsome, your blood dripping down his chin, his lips stained the most beautiful shade of red. you being painted all over him.
"Let go baby im right here, I got you" is all he says before you let go, Jake being the one to catch you when you fall. the way you clench around his cock milks him dry as he cums inside you. the both of you orgasm in unison, your mixed fluids coming to hit the bed beneath you. Jake fucks you through your orgasm, it's not enough. he's not close to being done with you.
you harshly tug at the belt, your wrists feeling raw. you need to touch him, bring your sweaty body closer to his. He takes notice of your begging face and the tugging at your bonds. you look at him with teary eyes as he gives you a genuine pout. his thrusts not faltering as you feel another coil in your stomach begin to form.
"please, please please please please" you beg him before his arm unwraps itself from your body, undoing the belt in one quick, swift motion. he throws it across the room as it lands on the ground with. a clank. your now free hands fly to his back, your fingers digging into his skin, pulling him closer.
He kisses you deeply, your blood smearing on your face now. he bites your lip with a groan before rolling his eyes. His hand grabs your hips and forces you off the bed, his dick slipping out of you. Jake flips you over on your stomach as he moves behind you on your knees.
One of his hands grips your throat and forces you to sit up, your back pressed against his front. he bends his head down to your ear and whispers sinisterly.
"who owns you, pretty girl?" he asks and you gulp.
"you do" you answer and he smiles.
"that's right darling, such a good girl hmm?" he says. his cold body feels good against your burning one. its like you were made for each other. the moon and the sun, water and fire, two halves of the same whole.
He likes your neck, the one that has yet to be bit. you shudder at the feeling of his tongue on his skin before he gently nips you, the smallest trail of blood rushes down your neck, collarbones and down your breast.
His free hand snakes around your body, pressing two fingers against your clit, rubbing circles on your bundle of muscle. you moan, pushing your back against him. Jake licks the blood on your neck before biting down harshly. Another scream exits your throat as you jump, trying to get away from him, but your attempt to run is unsuccessful as he presses your ass against his dick, his strength overpowering you. the hand on your throat squeezes tighter, making you light headed as that overwhelming and familiar feeling of icy pleasure goes off in your body, spreading quickly once again and you're a moaning mess as you fall apart in his hands.
your body starts feeling like jelly, so Jake unlatches his mouth from your neck and pushes you down on your stomach, your hips hitting the soaked bed beneath you. His body crawls over your limp one. his arm snakes under your body and around your breasts to grip your neck once more, his other hand forces your thighs apart before grabbing his hard cock in his hand and pushes it inside you.
Your quiet mewl fills jakes skull as he groans at your sounds spilling from your mouth. his dick pushes against your sweet spot that has you a moaning, pathetic mess underneath him. your fingers lace inbwetween the bedsheets as you fist them in your palm.
Jakes thrusts are relentless, fucking himself inside you at an animalistic pace. the two of you are so disgusting and messy, the smell of copper and sweat leaks through the walls. you can feel is breath against your ear again as he moans into you, his sounds have you clenching around him, fluttering like an innocent little butterfly as you begin to lose all train of thought, your eyes beginning to look dead as a trail of drool exits from the corner of your mouth.
"aww, my precious angel, you look so adorable when I'm fucking you dumb" he coos at you, his teeth nipping at the skin of your neck behind your ear. you take his words with a clench around his dick, making him moan loudly. his grip on your throat tightens as does the one on your hips.
"takin' my cock so well, its like you were made for me pretty" his teeth sink into you one last time as he drinks your sweet liquid, the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins once more as you become overstimulated with everything around you. your body attempts to crawl away from him, but he doesn't let that happen
"s' too much, can't, please I can't" you beg, hot tears spilling from your eyes as saliva drools out of your mouth. he chuckles at your attempt to run
"you can take it sweetheart, doin' so good for me baby, you can do it" he says, his venom causing you to spill over the edge as his hips snap against your ass ruthlessly, fucking you into the mattress that you wouldn't be surprised if there is an outline of your body engraved in the plush material. you're also pretty sure the skin is red where his hips meet the flesh of your ass. you mewl as broken sobs fill the room along with the sound of skin slapping. the knot in your stomach snaps as you're creaming all over his dick, milking him dry as he shoots ropes of cum deep inside of you. his head falls onto your shoulder as he preps your skin in kisses as you come down from your conjoined highs. your bodies interlaced for all of time with the way he's marked you in more ways than one.
you're his and he's yours.
your eyes close as sleep overwhelms your mind as your breathing steadies. Jakes venom starts to exit your blood stream, making you unbelievably tired. Jake kisses your shoulder blade once more before you fall asleep.
"goodnight, y/n" is all you hear before you pass out in his arms.
.¸¸.♡.¸¸.☆¸.♡.¸¸.☆.¸¸.♡.¸
When you wake up, it's still dark outside, meaning you've only been asleep for a little bit now. you sit up and look around. the bed is clean, there are no marks on you from what you can see, and you're dressed in your white nightgown. your mind instantly goes into panic mode, worried that everything that happened between you and Jake was a dream. Your head fills with anxious thoughts before you lift your eyes to the window across the room, seeing Jake's silhouette cascade through your room thanks to the moonlight. you sigh to yourself before standing up out of bed, but you almost collapse onto the floor with how week you are. Jake hears your struggle and turns around, noticing you awake, he walks over to you, embracing you in his arms gently.
You look up into his now dark brown eyes, admiring how handsome he looks in this exact moment, your pupils dilate and Jake swear he can feel a pang in his chest. you wrap your arms around his neck and bite your lip anxiously, not knowing what to say.
"what's the matter my love?" the nickname calms you slightly, putting your thoughts together before you speak.
"that wasn't a dream... right..?" you ask shyly and Jake smiles at you.
"it was very much real baby" his fingertips trace the beautiful purple and red marks on your neck, and the bite scars that follow along with it. you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. his hand cups your cheek and you lean into his comforting touch, closing your eyes. your mind goes against you as begin to overthink again, worried that he would leave you now that you know everything. as if he read your mind, he speaks.
"I've waited centuries for you, y/n. I'm not letting you go." he says before kissing your forehead.
"you're mine" he kisses your nose
"and I'm yours" he brings your hand up to his mouth and kisses your palm
"forever"
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#engene#sim jaeyun#jake#enhypen jake#sim jake#enhypen jaeyun#enhypen jake x reader#enhypen jake smut#jake x reader#sim jake smut#jake enhypen#jake sim#sim jake x reader#jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun x reader smut
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Another flashback, eh?
...nah, I'm not buying it. I think it's a lot more likely that this is another dream bubble. Dave has temporarily died, and he's taking a little pit stop in the afterlife.
TG: heres one for you TG: its a whopper TG: are you ready TT: For what? TG: this huge fuckin whopper im about to just say […] TG: im talking about a dream i just had
Bubble or not, this is still a flashback to a real event - which means that Rose really does make a hobby of analyzing Dave's dreams. Sorry, but that's kind of adorable.
TT: You mean a canard of behemothic embellishment? […] TT: Or was your resolve finally dismantled by the siren's song of all that flame broiled beef? […] TG: ok first do you even have burger kings out in the fucking woods TG: why do you reference things that obviously arent in the woods like terrible burgers TT: I'll limit my establishments of reference to lumber mills and sugar shanties from now on.
Pretty sure I know what’s happening here. Some fans looked up the GPS coordinates for Rose’s house, realized that she’d probably lived in the woods all her life, and jokingly ragged on her for making references she shouldn't know about.
TT: Also, there's a Burger King less than forty minutes from my house. [...]
She lives in the countryside, guys. Not Mars.
TG: i mean it was a doozy like psychologically speaking TG: doozy is a slightly dumber word than whopper TT: Certainly less delicious. TG: it was absurdly heavy handed my subconscious was really slathering it on
Lest we forget, Dave was awake on Derse before the session had even started. He may not have been consciously aware of that fact...
...but that hasn’t stopped a few things from leaking in from the other side.
TG: its possible that i dreamt it ironically i dunno
LMAO
Alright, that may have been the funniest thing Dave has ever said.
TG: are you busy TT: Yes. TG: cool listen to this
S I B L I N G S.
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«Scream»
Synopsis: It's late and you're watching horror movies. But someone's calling you, a weirdo asking you questions about classic horror films. Nothing was wrong until he started to threat you, and when you hang up the phone you realized there's murderers wearing ghostface masks in your house.
Maknae line (poly) x f. Reader
2.7K words.
Genre: Scream au | yander-ish.
Tags: psycopaths maknae line, mind games, psychological terror, murderers (implied but not described), betrayal, the maknae line are a menace here, emotional conflict, delusional maknae line, angry reader, very VERY dubious consent (coercion is not consent so read with caution), happy ending for them not for reader, smut, overstimulation.
A/N: I'm so sorry for disappearing for literally a month, i moved to another country and life has been very stressful lately, so yeah i took a break from writing but here i am again, writing lots of vminkook p0rn. Hope you enjoy!
From the series masterlist; Final girl.
Navigation Masterlist.
You’re eating popcorn, resting on your couch with your feet up on the armchair. You took a gulp of your coke can without breaking your gaze from the tv screen, you startled staining your shirt when the slasher appeared from nowhere, you cursed under your breath taking off your shirt but before you can go to your room to change, your phone vibrated with notifications. You turned them off because the boys always get annoying on the weekends.
You opened the group chat, rolling your eyes when you see the 123 unread messages.
Group chat: Y/n and the homos.
Jiminie: Guys can u please stfu for a moment, I wanna sleep but u don’t stop talking shit.
You: let’s kicked them out of the group Jiminie, I swear I can’t even watch a movie in peace.
Jjk: u two r so fcking boring.
Tae: right? Like can u two at least read what were talking abt.
You: we’re*
Jiminie: lol
Jjk: Guys this is serious, there’s a sicko killing people wearing a ghostface mask.
You: Ghostface masks are hot.
Tae: ??
Jjk: ???????
Jiminie: ik right
You: Anyway, maybe is just a rookie killer without imagination, like it’s Halloween and there’s a lot of sickos around here. Just closed ur doors and don’t be a pussy.
Tae: I’m literally speechless.
Jiminie: Bye I’m sleeping, stfu.
Jjk: we warned u.
You dropped your phone on the couch, walking to your kitchen to make more popcorn. You missed the plot twist of the movie because of your friend’s annoying group chat.
You were on your bra and pajama pants, not caring about anything in the world. Until your home phone rings in your kitchen making you stop immediately. You frowned tilting your head to the side, watching the old home phone still ringing. It’s being ages since someone called to that number, you didn’t even know that the ancient thing was still working.
“Odd,” you murmured to yourself, answering the phone.
“Hello?”
You heard a heavy breath on the other side of the phone. The person says nothing back, making you frown.
“Who’s this? And why are you calling to this number?” Your patience was running thin ice.
“I’m watching you,” said a man with a low voice.
You rolled your eyes with annoyance.
“Is this a prank? Don’t call to this number again or I’ll fuck you up.”
You were about to hang up the phone but a deep chuckle from the man stopped you. Why does he sound familiar to you?
“Are you watching Friday the 13th?” He taunted. His voice sounded odd, like if he was lowering it purposely.
Your stomach sink with dread, your heart rate speed up when you heard from the tv the slasher killing people.
“What if I do?” You gritted between teeth, keeping an eye on your surroundings. You won’t show fear to that weirdo.
“Let’s play a game, I’ll ask you some questions about horror movies. And if you answer wrong, I’ll kill you.”
Your eyes widened by his words, you were about to hang up and call the police but the other man was quicker than you.
“If you hang up or try to touch your fucking phone I’ll slice your neck,” the threat made you freeze on your place, the wire of the home phone wouldn't let you move far away anyway.
You felt your eyes sting up with tears by fear. You remember Jungkook and Taehyung warning.
Your breath turned shallow and your grip on the home phone started to tremble. You felt cornered and scared.
“What’s the identity of the masked killer of Scream?”
You inhaled deep, this one was easy.
“Uhm, his name was Billy, Sidney’s boyfriend.”
Your eyes roamed your kitchen, watching your surroundings again with dread and fear.
“Good.”
You couldn’t help but frown again because he sounded so familiar to you, but you can’t pinpoint of whom that voice belongs to.
“Last one; what’s the plot twist of Friday the 13th?”
Fucking fucker.
This time your eyes blurred by unshed tears because of how nervous and panicked you felt. You���ve never been good at dealing with strong emotions, even when you try to act tough, in your insides you’re very easy to scare and intimidate.
“I- please i-I don’t know,” you stuttered with quivering lips, you feel like having a panic attack.
“Look behind you, sweetheart.”
Your breath hitched sharply, you turned your neck to look behind you, widening your eyes and screaming at the top of your lungs when you saw a man in your kitchen, wearing a ghostface mask and waving his unoccupied hand at you.
And then you run.
And he did it too.
You grabbed your phone from the couch, noticing with horror how the SIM card was missing. But you didn’t have time to linger about that thought.
You listened to his steps chasing you from behind, making you run faster by the increase of adrenaline pumping your veins.
You tried to open the front door of your house, but it didn’t budge. You were home alone, your parents went out in a trip.
You were fucked up.
Without any more options, you climbed the staircases hiding in a bathroom.
You try texting your parents but it was past midnight and your phone didn’t have its sim card, so you can’t call neither text.
That’s why you opened the app where you and your friends have the group chat.
Group chat: Y/n and the homos.
You: CALL THE POLICE THERE’S SOMEONE IN MY HOUSE AND THEYTOOKMYSIM CARD
Jjk: y/n? what the fuck, that’s not funny.
You: PLEASE IM NOT JOKING AND I CANTK CALLM THEPLICE
Tae: are you being serious right know?
Jiminnie: you guys again?
Jjk: Y/n’s saying there’s someone in her house but she can’t call the police but she can chat with us lol.
You: GUYS PLEASEIMSERIUS PLEASE HES COMING I NEED YOUR HELP CALL THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!
Tae: dude writing in capitals won’t make your prank more credible
You screamed into your hand with frustration, pulling your hairs out and weeping with fear, you wanted to smash your head against the tiles by exasperation. They weren’t taking you seriously.
Then you half open the door quietly, watching the murderer roaming the hallway. When he turned his back to you, distracted on his phone, you took yours to snap a picture of him.
Group chat: Y/n and the homos.
You: *send picture*
You: THIS IS HIM HES INMYHOUSE
Jjk: what the fuck
You: JUNGKOOK IM HAVINGAPANICK ATTACK CALL THE FUCKING POLICE OR ILL KILL YOU MYSELF
Tae: Damn no need to be so harsh y/n, calm down.
You: CALL THE POLICE YOU MORONS
Jiminnie: u guys r so annoying
You: jiminniehelp me please please please im scared imnot lying
Jjk: y/n you’re making me worry, aren’t you fucking with us?
You: NOO!!!!!!!!
Tae: oh well, then we should do something abt it
You: OFC U IDIOT
Jjk: yeah ur right tae, what we should do?
You: CALLTHEPOLICE?????!!!!!!!!
Tae: u think so?
Jjk: mm not so sure
Tae: and u Jiminnie, what do u think?
You: guys whats happening, please im scared
Jiminnie: I think I’ll go and help my y/n.
You frowned with trembling hands, tasting the saltiness of your silent tears. You were about to throw up and insult them again but the bathroom’s door opening made you jump with fear.
“Here you are.”
In any other circumstance you would scream and run for your life, you would grab something from the bathroom to throw it at him and save your life. But none of that happened, you stayed in your spot freeze, maybe because you were having a panic attack, but even then your primal instincts should fuel you to run. But that wasn’t the reason of your frozen state. Not at all. It was the fact that you recognized that voice.
“You… are you…”
Then the murderer took off his ghostface mask, tilting his head to the side and making your heart shatter.
“Yes my y/n?”
Jimin, fucking Park Jimin.
The deep fear was replaced by ugly hurt and anger. You saw red, walking towards him with your fists clenched, you punched him on his shoulder but he didn’t budge.
“How dare you scared me like that! You think is funny?! I hate you so much, I don’t want to see your fucking face ever again. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, with angry tears streaming to your chin.
“You thought I was joking?” he asked with mirth, the dark glint in his eyes turned your stomach with dread.
“Just get out Jimin,” you said tired and hurt.
“Y/n, I’m here to kill you-”
And just by that your fear came back twice as hard, your ears buzzed clogging up Jimin’s next words.
You ignored your throat lump of hurt and betrayal, you felt numb while running away from him, hiding in one of the bottom’s cabinets of your kitchen.
You wrapped your arms around your legs, pulling your knees to your chest. You cried until you felt your eyes swelling.
“Y/n? Baby where are you?”
Your eyes widened at Taehyung’s sweet voice calling for you.
You didn’t think twice before opening the cabinet and throwing yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
Taehyung chuckled hugging you back as hard, stroking your hair while you’re crying on his neck.
“There there, nothing bad will happen to you.”
The shinning knife in Taehyung’s other hand knocked some sense into you. The realization of your reality hit you hard making you gasp and break the hug in a flash, you watched him with your jaw set and your eyes showing the deep hurt and betrayal you felt inside.
Taehyung foxy smile widened on his lips, he pouted when you took a step back from him.
“I won’t hurt you, I promise,” he said softly, biting his bottom lip to stop a smirk.
You let him come closer to you just a step, and then you blow his head with a pan making him whimper with pain. You used his moment of confusion to run away past him.
You opened a window to get out of your house, your ears were buzzing by the raw adrenaline pumping your veins like liquid fire.
You were so, so close to reach your car until you’re not. The next thing you know is that you’re falling face down on the floor by a body launching at your back. You groaned with pain, feeling the body pinning you to the ground by its weight.
“Caught you,” Jungkook’s voice taunted against your ear, sounding out of breath.
You screamed at the top of your lungs, making Jungkook cursed under his breath. He covered your mouth quickly, lifting your body to take you inside the house again.
Your eyes were too swollen by the amount of tears you shed tonight, you were tired and hurt by their sick game.
Jungkook sat on your couch with you on his lap, one arm wrapped around your naked waist to pull you against his chest.
“Isn’t she so cute?” asked Jimin sighing dreamily, you felt acid rage running your veins. You felt like being mocked on.
“A little feisty, but pretty.” Taehyung sat beside you on the couch, his forehead dripping a little bit of blood. You smiled wide at his wound.
“Did it hurt?” You pointed to his forehead, he simply nodded with the corner of his lips curling down.
“Good,” you grinned with hatred.
“Now now, no need to be mean to our Taetae.” Jimin squatted before you, stroking your cheek even when you flinched your face away with disgust.
“No need to be fucking weirdos either, if you want to kill me do it already.” And then you literally spat on Jimin’s face, but to your horror and disgust he grinned wide tasting your drool with his tongue.
You wanted to throw up at the nasty sight.
“Sweetheart, we don’t want to hurt you, even less kill you,” chuckled lowly Jungkook behind you, his grip on your waist tightened a little.
“What? But Jimin said-“
“I didn't say anything, silly. You didn't even let me finish before running away,” Jimin sighed standing up, getting out of the living room and leaving you there feeling totally lost.
“Then… why are you guys doing this?” You whispered weakly, feeling way more unease than before.
“You’ll see.” Whispered back Taehyung near your ear, chuckling when you flinched.
And you did see it.
Jimin dragged your parent’s tied bodies to the floor of the living room, making your stomach sink with horror and dread.
“We came here to kill them.” Grinned proudly Jimin, kicking your dad’s side when he tried to wiggle out of his ties.
“Why!? Leave them alone they did nothing wrong!” You shouted at the top of your lungs, so loud that your throat hurt.
Jimin’s face morphed into an enraged scowl. He walked towards you in two large steps, gripping your chin up roughly. His jaw was set and his gaze hard.
“Shut up, before I cut your tongue.” He hissed with fury swimming in his brown eyes.
You whimpered afraid, recoiling into Jungkook’s chest unconsciously. Jimin’s always been scary when he’s pissed off, but never to this point.
Jimin’s face softened immediately at your fearful expression, you saw a hint of regret in his gaze.
“Hey, don’t scare her.” Jungkook snapped soothing you when you cried, he hugged you tightly. But his soft kiss on your temple didn’t comfort you at all, it only made you wailed harder with disgust.
“Puh-please just… leave us alone, what do you want?” You asked with labored breaths, you looked up hopeless at Jimin.
“Hyung,” warned Taehyung darkly. He sounded on edge by your cries.
“We want you.” Said Jimin with a cold voice.
“And we’re pissed at your parents for lying to you about us.” Continued Jungkook with a thick angered voice.
“So, we came here to teach them a lesson.” Grinned widely Taehyung like a sadist.
It was nothing new that your parents didn’t like your friends, they always told you to get away from them. You never listened to your parents because you thought they were saying bullshit, but you damn regretted not listening to them. They were right about these sickos.
“So you just want me.” You deadpan.
“Yep.” You listened behind you.
“Okay fine, do whatever you want with me. But. Let. Them. Go.” You gritted between teeth, pointing at your parents passed out on the floor.
The living room went silent at your words, the hush made you feel unease.
Jimin squatted in front of you again, this time, giving you the meanest and sadistic grin you’ve ever seen before.
“Take her up.” He ordered lowly, piercing his heavy and intimidating gaze on you, then his eyes dropped slowly to stare at your naked torso, gaze darkening and fixated on your chest. You felt your cheeks heating up by embarrassment, you felt self-conscious.
Your throat lump and your stomach turned when Jungkook carried you up to your room. Taehyung coo when he saw your silent tears streaming from your eyes.
Jungkook laid you down on the mattress rather softly, making your heart shatter. They were your best friends. The acid betrayal you felt burning your chest and throat was too painful to bear.
You weren’t surprised when you saw your SIM card on your nightstand.
“Stop looking so miserable, we’re not hurting you.” Jungkook said on the defensive. His scowl only angered you, but another part of you enjoyed to see that your disgust affected him.
“You fucking hurt my parents, chase me in my own house and manipulated me to let you fuck me! I have all the right in the world to feel and look miserable!” You felt your vocal cords ripping by your loud scream.
Jungkook and you stared at each other with labored breaths, you didn’t break your gaze in challenge, until you heard Jimin’s giggles.
“Tied her to the bed,” he said with a smile, making your stomach turn.
You closed your eyes, if they wanted to have their way with you, so it be. But you’ll be just a dull body under them, you choose to dissociate rather than to be present for them.
“None of that, open your eyes.” Taehyung growled gripping harshly your chin.
Your breath hitched when you felt a hand wrapping your neck, making your eyes open in a flash.
And the image above you freeze your entire body.
The three of them were staring down at you with hunger on their eyes, you saw their pretty faces coming closer to yours, smiling like the devils they were.
Ready to wreck you.
You can read the +18 continuation on Patreon.
taglist:
@demonshauntingthedoves @pynkgothicka @cutequeen00 @nothingsreal420 @ririkookiemonster-archives @cannotalwaysbenight @loumin908 @devilzliaison @uniquecutie-puffs @polarnightmyg
#bts#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x reader#bts x reader smut#bts imagines#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#yandere jungkook#jimin#park jimin#jimin x reader#yandere jimin#taehyung#kim taehyung#taehyung x reader#yandere taehyung#maknae line#vminkook
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AITA for faking my death to get out of an abusive relationship?
Tw for verbal + mental/psychological abuse and suicide
I used to be in a discord server with some friends, there were about 40 people in it, only around 20 who were actually active. It was a while ago I can't remember. I was in that server for about 4 months.
From the start, people would occasionally get mad at me over something I didn't do. About every month or so someone would start a rumor about me and make the whole server gang up on me, I'd tell them it was false, but everyone would still avoid me for the next couple days.
I never did anything wrong, but I was always the center of the drama, and when I asked one person, R, why, he said he didn't know and that I didn't deserve so much hate.
About a week later R was talking in the vent channel about how I had manipulated him. I DMed him to ask why, and he told me it was because I asked him if he was my friend. I thought it was fucking stupid because it's not manipulative to be paranoid, but I pretended to be sorry because I didn't want him to be mad at me.
The server also had a bot where you could submit anonymous messages, and lots of people would use that feature to make up things about me to ruin my reputation.
After a while I left the server and only stayed in contact with a few people. However, every couple days another person would tell me I'm a monster and gaslight me into thinking I'm a terrible person, and every time I asked why they hated me they didn't give me an answer.
My only real friend, T, showed me some messages from the others after I left the server, and a bunch of people were making up stories about bad things I had done to them, and people who I had never even spoken to were saying that I had abused them and was dangerous.
Once someone told me thay they understood all the things R had said about me weren't true, but said it was still my fault anyway, and even told me that R had done nothing wrong (he lied about me in front of the entire server and is the reason I lost all my friends, and he yelled at me and called me evil because I was suicidal), and then they accused me of faking having amnesia because I had flashbacks.
Eventually, only four of my "friends" hadn't blocked me, and they almost never talked to me. Everyone kept calling me a terrible person because R spread lies about me and everyone else believed him instead of me.
It was to the point where I couldn't go one day without someone sending me death threats or trying to guilt trip me with false information, and I was getting very sever flashbacks of the stuff R had said to me, and I started failing classes because I couldn't focus on anything.
Eventually I had had enough, so I tagged them all in a tumblr post about how I was going to kill myself and then logged out of both that tumblr account and my old discord account forever.
(Also about a month after I had left, I got texts from irl friends, and it turns out someone on the server found the contact info of people I knew in real life just to ask if I was dead or not. And that scared the shit out of me.)
I've left out a lot of details of the abuse because of amnesia. I have a mental disorder which makes it hard to remember things, plus the brain often blocks out traumatic memories, so I'm sorry if some info feels missing.
The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because once I was gone, all of them switched targets and started to harass T. They said they hated him for being on my side, and sent him death threats on anon because he was mad at them for killing his friend. They started treating him the same way they treated me, and called him a horrible person but refused to give a reason as to why, and if I had stayed around they would've left him alone.
@should-be-dead (made a sideblog so I get notified when this is posted)
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I promised to protect you
⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️
Genre: Angst
Warnings: swearing and mention of physical and psychological abuse, toxic relationship, mentions of bruises and about laying hands on a partner, some of the content may be triggering.
Author note: I would consider this a heavy fic for some. Do not engage if you think it might be triggering.
Images and art from Pinterest if someone knows the original creators let me know so I can tag them properly
⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️
" Well he's not always this bad, he's ok..."
Your weak attempt to defend your shity boyfriend only made Chuuya angrier. Why would you let yourself be in the company of that awful guy, he could never understand. You were bright and nice, powerful and determined and yet you got yourself a... A leech. No, it was worse but he was being generous while describing that abomination of a man... That guy had deemed your light in the past 6 months he's dated you and Chuuya hates himself for allowing you to get with him in the first place.
"Are you even listening to yourself right now?" Chuuya extended towards you a glass of wine.
"Listen Chuuya, I know he's not the man I've dreamed of and doesn't have all the qualities I've wanted my partner to have, but I also have to compromise on some things."
"Not on your dignity."
Your gaze fell on the floor a deep sight leaving your lips. Chuuya ran a hand through his hair, very frustrated. He didn't want to say it like that, but he had enough of seeing you suffer, seeing you renounce your hobbies because that guy deemed them "childish" or seeing you lose your spark when talking about what brought you joy just because your boyfriend found them boring. He knew you were smart, always talked about how you will never lose yourself in a relationship so he didn't really understand why and how you got to this point. Chuuya fell in love with you, but couldn't tell you because of his mafia position and him being away for missions a lot, or work trips how he called them in front of you. Then, when he decided he had to come forward and let you decide if you wanted to give him a chance with all that it would have entailed, he was a month too late. He returned from one long, painful mission and found you in a relationship, one that he despised wholeheartedly, so he chose to remain your trusted friend.
"Listen, I didn't want to say it like that...."
"No, that's not true, you did want to say it exactly like that". Your voice was on the verge of cracking. Something bottled up was about to spill if you weren't careful enough and Chuuya noticed it. The man groaned and took a sip of his wine. Maybe it was time to be honest about it.
" Fine. It's exactly like that. Since you started dating that douchebag you lost yourself. All the things you promised not to compromise on in a relationship happened. You lost your bright personality, you stopped rambling about books, anime and flowers. Hell, you even stopped gardening and that was your therapy. You asked me to stop bringing you flower bulbs from all over the places I go on my work trips and you stopped hanging out with me or your other friends. You stopped wearing your signature perfume and your red lipstick you were so fond of. So I'm sorry, but you're not in a fucking healty relationship! And you're defending that stupid fuck who doesn't do anything with his life and stays at your place, without paying any fucking bill! You left yourself to be a mat for that guy, what is wrong with you!?"
You looked at Chuuya stunned. It seemed that the red head had a lot bottled up as well. For some reason his words stung and made you feel worse. He was right and you fully knew it, but you just couldn't let him know... You could not put him in danger.
Chuuya was deeply unaware of your internal struggles. He only knew what he was seeing and what you were letting him know lately, which wasn't a lot that's for sure. He felt relieved to have finally spoken his mind. At the same time, guilt was eating him alive. This was the first time he raised his voice at you in a serious manner, but he couldn't control it, his anger towards the entire situation had the best on him. You looked frightened to say at least and he could swear that he saw you flinch when he was using his hands to express his thoughts.
Something about your crunched posture, your fidgeting fingers, the way you looked very exhausted made him open his mouth.
"Does he hit you?"
Why didn't it cross his mind sooner? What if you were in an abusive relationship? Your boyfriend's controlling behavior was concerning enough, but if it was worse than he imagined and all this time he blamed you for not keeping your ground? A pit formed in his stomach, he was going to be sick.
"What?? What, no... Is not really like that." You avoided Chuuya's scrutinizing gaze and forced a smile.
He gently reached for your chin and turned your head to face him. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, his gentleness making your heart flutter. Was his calloused hand always this comforting?
"Please, please if anything don't lie to me, especially with things like this. I promised you that I will protect you no matter what, remember?"
"I can't" you shake your head "If I'm telling you everything you're going to act impulsively. He's going to hurt you, he said you'd be the first one to suffer, I'm sorry, I can't..." At this point your cheeks were stained by your tears, your hand cupping his near your face.
Chuuya's heart broke at the sight. It was pitiful, he blamed himself for it. If only he wasn't a coward when it came to feelings. He swore to himself that he'd keep you safe from the mafia world, but that did not mean that in other circumstances he wouldn't be there for you. With his thumb he wiped your tears away.
" I am not going to get hurt, I promise you. There isn't any chance for him to lay hand on me. Don't hide yourself from me anymore, please. You're hurting and it's killing me to see you like this."
Chuuya felt as close to you as ever. Even if you kept your distance from him in the last few months, even if you tried your best to hide the hell you were going to. So you just broke down crying.
Chuuya was quick to pull you towards his chest, wrapping his hand protectively around you. He caressed your back and gave you space to let it all out. He was hurting with you, he hated to see you cry, let alone seeing how broken and hurt you were. He felt like the wall that rose between the two of you had finally collapsed.
" Is ok, is ok, you're going to be okay. I'm here now, you're safe, no one is going to hurt you here, I'll make sure of it. You are safe sweetheart, you're safe." He kept whispering sweet nothings and encouragement words until you got to calm down a bit. He used his gravity manipulation powers to bring closer the tissues and then handed you one.
" You' sure you're ok?" Your nod made him feel at ease, at least for a moment. Then he just grabbed one of your hands and intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing lightly, silently encouraging you to talk.
" I want you to pinky promise that you won't do anything stupid." Your glossy eyes made Chuuya chuckle.
" You know very well that I can't promise something like that, doll. I'm gn'a promise that I won't get hurt, that I can do."
Your glare only made him raise his shoulder, but that will have to do.
" He... He may or may not have raised his hands at me. I definitely do have some bruises over my body, but they appeared from what he calls accidents. I tripped, or I fell into the chairs from the kitchen but he pushed me..." Chuuya silently listened, his blood boiling in his veins. He was ready to hunt the bastard down and bring him into the Port Mafia's torture chambers.
" ... and I kept all this to myself because he's a member in the mafia and said that he would put you on their killing list if I said anything to anyone so I was scared..."
" WHAT!?" Chuuya couldn't believe what he was hearing, your boyfriend was a what and did what? It was like his worst nightmare came to life but in a very twisted way. That was not plausible, the members in the mafia know very well the consequences of using their status to commit shit like this. Unless it was about some weakling, a newbie who got the hands on a bit of power and now thought nothing would touch him. What the fuck happened?
" I know, I know, it was very dumb of me to stay in the relationship, but I was really scared for you and for my family..."
" No, no, that's not it. Tell me his name and what he told you about being in the Mafia. That motherfucker is about to lose his head."
"Chuuya, you promised that you're not going to do anything stupid!"
"No, doll. I promised that I won't get hurt. But that isn't why I'm saying it. The guy can't use his mafia status however he pleases. There are certain rules even in the Mafia."
You looked at him confused.
" How would you know?"
Chuuya inhaled deeply. It was time to come clean with everything.
" Because I'm an executive in the Mafia and I can guarantee that the motherfucker you're dating isn't going to go about his day and live to tell the tale. I'm sorry, I'm going to explain everything afterwards, I promise. He's at your apartment?"
You were so confused, not really registering what he was saying so you just nodded.
" You stay right here until I come back. Go take a shower, take a bath, go in my office and read a book or you can find some manga collections that I have previously prepared in case you happened to stay here. You can find pajamas for you in the guest room. I'll be back later."
" Where are you going?"
Chuuya smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead.
" I'm going to show that bastard what it actually means to be in the Mafia."
#chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bsd x reader#chuuya x you#bungou stray dogs#chuuya bsd#hellawrites#chuuya x y/n#jjk x reader#chuuya angst#chuuya nakahara x you#chuuya nakahara x reader
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college dick grayson if u may.. 🤭🤭
knowing dick in canon idt he would really be those playboy, snarky types but it’s always fun to see his characterisation that way!! what’s ur take on it??
dick grayson being a snarky ass motherfucker in college is BIBLICALLY accurate. thank you, anon.
•this motherfucker is hot and he knows it. he'll use it to his advantage too. oh, he forgot his wallet? he'll flirt his way to making sure it's on the house. commit murder? he'll flash a smile and say, "so, officer..." followed by one tear.
•ugh, dick gets girls. (and boys) he loves his redheads. but he also knows how to lose them. but eventually he'll get 'em back. eventually...
•i feel like dick would smoke weed in college. but he'd also be one of those, "in bed by 10" kinds of people. and i'm living for it.
•dick knows how to have a good time and he DEFINITELY can show you a great time. he'll drink a bunch of beer, smoke a lot of weed, will overstimulate you, and then ask you why you're tired.
•i feel like he'd fuck to sexy red and cry to taylor swift.
•he's funny as hell. mans will be balls deep inside you and then say something that has you dying.
•i feel like dick would be a stripper if he wasn't nightwing. like he has the moves. i'd let him do the most atrocious things to me.
•dick would probably major in business, humanities, bigassology, psychology, or redheads. or maybe all five.
•people like to characterize the fact that only alfred and jason can cook but that is WRONG. dick can definitely cook. i mean, come on, he has a whole BAKERY back there. he can cook. this man will whip you a whole god damn 5 course meal and y'all saying he can't cook?
•he uses the bunk beds in his dorm as a swing.
•dick grayson breaks hearts and enjoys it. (he can break this heart AND pussy and i'd thank him.) he will flirt with every guy and girl on this planet and say, "no strings attached, sorry not sorry, bbg."
•he listens to doja cat religiously. going for a run? doja cat. fucking someone? doja cat + sexy red. it's wild. he's even wilder in bed though.
i love dick grayson
#dick grayson#dick grayson x you#robin dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson smut#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson comics#batfamily#batfam#red hood#dick grayson robin#dick grayson fanart#dc robin#dick grayson x oc#nightwing x reader#nightwing x you#nightwing x y/n#college au#smut#nightwing x reader smut#fluff#angst#doja cat#taylor swift
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more raider joel PLEAAAASE 🙏
Failed Escape
4k, raider!Joel x f!reader / raider master / joel
Mood board by @milla-frenchy
SUMMARY: when Joel brings you to a familiar area for a raid, you run away but get stopped by FEDRA officers with bad intentions, worse than Joel. Joel saves you.
WARNINGS: NSFW I8+ dark, violence, assault, manhandling, captivity, restraints, exhibitionism, humiliation, unsafe dubcon PIV, fingering, oral, orgasm delay, cockwarming, brief psychological torture by fedra, allusions to VERY dark fedra activity.
A/N: This is 4th in the Raider series but can be read alone. credits / shoutouts - @romanarose escape ask, touch-erase anon, rope kink anon, many others with thots & thirst. Carter is the driver!
“I'm sorry," you sob, and you really are. It's the second raid you’ve been on this week. You thought you recognized the forest behind the house, making it your best chance to escape. You don’t have anything or anyone to go home to, but you’re hungry. You’re tired. You don't sleep. Sometimes you wake up with Joel’s arms too tight around you. If you move, they tighten more and you can hardly breathe.
Those things on their own might be tolerable, but the rest of Joel's men are the real problem. That first day, Joel told you he’d make sure nothing happened to you. He made it very clear to you and everyone else that you were his and no one else could touch you. At this point you don’t always mind his touch, but you worry about what could happen to you if something happened to Joel. The guys are disgusting, and not just the ones Joel originally saved you from, as you learned at the stash house.
There are a lot, and they’re brutal with their prey. They’re not just rough, they’re mean, degrading. They know they aren’t supposed to look at you, but they still steal a hungry glance when Joel’s not watching. From what you’ve overheard them doing to their victims, your greatest fear is that Joel will die or get overthrown and you’ll be at their mercy. The day Joel first claimed you, he warned you about those men and how much worse they'd be. At this point, you've seen and heard enough to know it's true.
But even that prospect doesn't sound bad right now compared to what you just went through. You never should have run.
- - - - -
You stumbled through the woods and when you were almost to the other side, you spotted three armed men in uniform - FEDRA. You called, “Help!” You were relieved. They could get you somewhere safe. But when they turned around, it was only a couple of seconds before they aimed their rifles at you. You fell to your knees begging for help.
They laughed and talked to each other like you weren’t there.
“I dunno, she looks infected to me,” the tallest one said.
“Sure are seein’ a lot of infected this week,” another said and elbowed the tall guy in the ribs.
The apparent leader of the pack ordered the men to take your clothes off. They stripped you of everything, even your underwear, and felt you up while they were at it. One of them stuck a finger in you. Then, the leader put a single bullet in a revolver, spun the cylinder, handed it to the tall one, and said “your turn.”
"Already? C'mon, I don't wanna fuck another dead girl."
“At least they can’t scratch you up kickin’ and screamin’,” the leader said.
“Yeah, so what’s the point?” the third one said. “That’s half the fun.”
"Better say a prayer then," the leader said. "Go on," he urged.
The man put the muzzle to your temple and your life flashed before your eyes. He pulled the trigger and the click made you wince. You kept your eyes pinched shut and when you slowly opened them, you could hardly believe you were alive.
Leaves crunched behind you in the woods. "ANIMALS, all of you," Joel boomed, and you turned around to see him with his rifle aimed at the men.
"Get down and cover your ears, baby." Joel didn’t even look at you.
Without so much as blinking, he shot the leader right in the forehead, then kept walking toward them. Shot another one like it was the easiest thing he had ever done. Not even a flinch.
Meanwhile, the tall one, the one with the revolver, charged straight at him but Joel still didn’t flinch. He calmly used the butt of his rifle to strike him square in the face. When the man fell to the ground, Joel straddled him and pummeled his face.
Still straddling the man, Joel asked you what they did to you. You told him about the revolver first. Joel took it from the man, spun the cylinder, then held it out for you, but you didn't take it. You were cowering naked on the ground. “Go ahead,” Joel said. The man pleaded for his life. You hesitated, and Joel said “Now,” firmly. You crawled closer, took the revolver, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The man screamed and winced, but the gun only clicked. Joel took it back, spun it again, and handed it back to you. “Again.” That time, you shot the man in the chest and the recoil sent you back on your ass. It wasn’t a kill shot. The man tried to speak but could only gurgle. Blood spilled out of his mouth. Your face went cold and you were shaking.
Joel made sure the man was disarmed, then came over and started putting your shirt back on you.
"Is that what you want? Shared and slaughtered by those pigs?” He motioned to the three men on the ground. You started crying, still sprawled on the dirt
- - - - -
Joel puts his rifle around his back, squats down, grabs you by both elbows, and violently forces you to your feet.
"Breakin' my goddamn heart, sweet pea." He seethes with disappointment.
"I'm sorry," you repeat through your tears, still begging his eyes to meet yours. Finally, he puts his rifle around his back and looks at you. You must look so pathetic. Crying, knees covered in dirt, still naked from the waist down. The dying man stops gurgling. You whimper yet again, "I'm sorry."
He looks you up and down and seems to soften a little as he responds, "I know, baby.” But notably, he doesn't say it's okay. He doesn't say he forgives you. You collapse into his chest and sob. He pulls you closer and you're startled when his arousal swells into you.
"How'd they touch you?" Joel asks, then clenches his jaw as though bracing himself for impact. At least he knows they didn't fuck you since they were all still dressed, to his great relief.
Joel has your pants in his hands waiting for your answer. You tell him.
He sighs and squats down. He wedges his hand between your thighs and you're wet with arousal from feeling his wood. "Was it like this?" He asks, sliding his fingers against your folds. You don't know what to say. It wasn’t like this because it didn’t feel good. He plunges two fingers into you and asks, "like this?" He digs the heel of his palm into his arousal.
“Kind of”
His face tenses into a snarl as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. What does 'kind of' mean?”
“It hurt.”
“Too many fingers?”
“No, just one, but too rough. And too dry.” Your cheeks burn.
His eyes light up in grim satisfaction. “Ok, baby.” He takes his fingers out and wraps his arms around you again. You start crying again.
“I’m sorry,” you say for the millionth time.
“I know you are, sweet pea." He brushes the tears off your cheeks. “Wanna be sorry here or in the house?” You can only assume what he means. You just hope it won’t be too brutal, given your betrayal.
His breath deepens, and he’s slowly stroking a larger bulge in his skin-tight pants now. You have to think about it for a moment. You’re anxious to get away from the dead FEDRA bodies, but the other raiders and victims are still in the house.
Joel adds, “Or in the van?”
“In the van."
He brushes the dirt off you and helps you step into your pants.
-
When you get back to the house they’ve been raiding, Joel doesn’t take you straight to the van. There are a few bodies strewn about. The hostages are all in one room. Joel takes you to a bathroom away from them.
He locks the door, hangs his rifle on the towel hook, then turns on the shower. He strips you and gets behind you, both of you facing the mirror. He asks, “They do anything else to you? Touch you anywhere else?” You tell him they touched your breasts. He inhales deeply and clenches his jaw, then cups both your breasts from behind, slowly massaging them. "Like this?" His hardness presses into you.
"Kind of, but it didn’t feel good."
Half his mouth smiles, and in the mirror you notice him scanning your body head to toe. Then he turns you around to face him.
His hands engulf your ass cheeks, pulling you into his pants. The feeling of his arousal against your front makes you weak.
A massive hand drifts to the center of your ass, and his middle finger lightly glides up and down your crack. “They touch you in here?”
“No.”
"Good. They're all gone now, okay baby?”
-
The water is ice cold as usual and your nipples are painfully hard as Joel lathers them. He washes your whole body, looking at you like a juicy leg of lamb. When he goes between your legs, you sense his intentions and warn him, “Um, you can’t put soap in there.”
He pauses, bemused. “Why’s that , sweet pea?”
“It’s bad for you, you can get an infection.”
He looks at the soap contemplatively and says “okay, baby.”
He rinses you off and tells you to sit on the toilet seat. Then he sits on the ground, his legs to each side of the toilet, knees up. He gets you to spread your legs, come to the edge of the seat, and lean back. The way he’s breathing as he eyes your pussy gives you butterflies.
He puts your knees over his shoulders. He drags two knuckles down your slippery folds, then extends and inserts his fingers and curls them, dragging his thick digits against your walls, trying to scrape off any trace of FEDRA. The smallest skin particle would be too much. It's extreme, but you don’t mind how it feels – physically, at least. It’s also not a bad view. His neck veins bulge, his eyes are dark.
He looks like he has a job to do, and he goes about it quite industriously. His beard scratches your inner thighs and outer lips. He licks a thick stripe from your taint to your clit, then drags his tongue through every crevice of your folds on each side, making you squirm with tension. He swirls his tongue around your clit and sucks your hood. Then he plunges his tongue onto you and your whole body feels hollow and light. His tongue is so thick it's like being fucked. You shudder and he glances up darkly. His lips move diligently with the effort and he sucks like he’s trying to cave your walls in on his tongue. Your thighs quiver and he glances up at you again. When you're right about to come, he pulls away.
"Good as new," he says as he wipes his beard.
You were so close to coming and you can hardly bear the tension.
As though reading your mind, he says, "This ain’t for fun, baby. Not today. Not after what you did."
He braces his hands on your thighs and stands up with a groan, sporting major wood. "Stay here," he says coldly. You squeeze your thighs together. He takes his rifle off the back of the door and puts it on. He leaves for a few minutes and takes all your clothes with him including your underwear.
As soon as he walks out of the bathroom, one hand goes between your legs and the other to your breast, working toward the quickest release possible, biting your lip. The vision of him between your legs is blinding your mind’s eye from thinking about anything else. You come just in time, covering your own mouth with your inner arm. You feel a wave of shame after you come - how depraved to get off in this situation. But the tension was too much to take.
Joel comes back with a duffle bag and a dress. He seems to notice your post-orgasm flush. He puts the dress on you and it's not a minidress but it's shorter than you're comfortable with, especially if you don't get to wear underwear. It’s thin, too. He strokes your inner thighs and gives you an accusatory look.
"You come when I say."
Your face burns and you nod.
"Told you I wasn't gonna let anything happen to you. . . then I did." He looks guilty, almost anguished. "You're gonna learn to do what I say, understand?"
You nod.
"For your own good, sweet pea."
"Yeah," you whisper.
You try to tug the dress down and hesitantly ask, "Can I have, um-"
"No," Joel says and slings the duffle bag over his shoulder. "Got you some but you're not gonna need it for a while."
You swallow thickly and remember you chose the van.
-
Joel manhandles you into the passenger seat, takes some paracord out of the duffle bag, and ties your wrists in a special knot. Then he ties them behind your head to the headrest.
He strings rope around the headrest and across your chest in each direction forming an X across your chest with your breasts on either side. He ties that to the wrist restraints. The rope digs into your neck uncomfortably.
“Try to get out and it’ll only get tighter. And I’m gonna know about it.”
“I won’t.” You’re earnest.
“Hope not,” he says. “‘Cause I’ve got a lot more of this.” He holds up a bunch of paracord, puts it back in the bag, then looks you up and down and wets his lips. “Looks good on ya, too.” He shoves the duffle bag behind your seat. “Real good.”
He slides his hand between your legs and shoves his middle finger right inside you. His head falls back and his eyelids are heavy. You’re still wet enough that it doesn’t hurt. He thumbs your clit while pushing two, then three fingers in and out of you. Then he stills his fingers inside you. He strokes the bulge in his pants with the heel of his palm. His mouth falls open and he studies your face. Then he flattens his fingers and rubs your whole pussy. It feels so good, so unbearably good. Your spine arches. He takes his time and brings you to the brink again, then cruelly removes his hand.
“Stay here.” He points at the rope. “Remember – try to get out, it’ll only get tighter.”
You nod, clenching your thighs together, barely paying attention.
“It’s for your own good.” The tension feels like torture.
-
A few minutes later, Joel comes back out to the van, thank god. Your hands are getting numb and the rope is chafing your neck and cleavage. He opens the door and examines the paracord around your wrists. “Good girl,” he says. He looks you up and down as though deciding what to do with you. He exhales with a puff of his cheeks and rubs the big lump in his tight pants. At this point, nothing would surprise you, and you wonder if you should have made a move in the bathroom to suck him off.
He swiftly unties the paracord then unbuckles his belt, gazing at you in a dark trance.
He aggressively shoves his strong arm under you, then you make space and he wedges himself between you and the seat. You’re in his lap again.
Initially, he pulls you back into him and your breath hitches when you feel his hard package beneath you. His hips lift and his arousal swells harder. He breathes heavily and his chest inflates against your back. Then he extends his legs to make a downward slope and scoots you forward on his thighs. You hear his zipper come down. When you chose the van, you didn’t know it would be this. You’re humiliated, but your body purrs in anticipation.
You’re startled by the van’s back doors opening.
“Come on,” Joel whispers flatly, nudging you to hover over him. When you rise a few inches, he lifts your dress and guides your naked ass backwards, hovering in his lap. He presses the curve of your spine and you tilt your hips. He guides you until you feel his firm tip at your dripping entrance. "You want this?" You nod almost imperceptibly, then he says, "Go ahead." You sink onto him with a soft gasp. “That's right, take it," he says. He puts his hand over your mouth and pulls you down, breathing, "yes." Then he sighs "Ahh," as his girth parts your insides. He has to use both arms and a thrust to bury himself entirely, then your body’s flush with his. His noises are quiet but visceral, softer than usual, but just as masculine.
You’re pitiful, like a rag doll in your thin dress, no panties, no bra, sitting on his cock. Bending to his will like he’s your puppeteer. And you might as well have an arm shoved all the way up you. He’s inhabiting every bit of space in your guts.
Men are loading things into the back of the van. Joel leans you forward to spread your dress over his lap. Then he pulls you back and lifts his hips, making his cock move deep inside you. The main door to the van slides open and men start piling in. Your seat is always in Joel’s lap, that’s nothing new, so hopefully no one notices you’re impaled on his massive cock.
But that’s unlikely, considering he’s not sitting still. He rocks his hips, pushing his length up into you at a slow pace. This has the effect of lifting your body each time. Someone sitting behind you could surely see your head going up and down slowly, smoothly, rhythmically. Joel's hands cup your breasts through your dress. Tension is coiling in your core. With his next upward thrust, Joel softly grunts into your hair. Quieter than usual. He isn’t worried about being seen or heard – That’s not his style at all – It’s just that, in the van, it doesn’t take much to put on a show. In a way, if he can subject everyone to it in near-silence, that’s even more dominant.
Joel’s hips continue to lift into you and he slides his hand into the low-cut neckline to grope your naked breast. The driver, Carter, glances over and does a double-take, then swallows sheepishly and quickly averts his gaze, but reaches for the bandana on the dashboard and hands it to Joel. They’re going to the stash house so Joel pauses to tie it over your eyes.
Joel grunts softly into your hair as his cock is hugged tight by your warmth. None of the men talk to him. They chatter at low volume amongst themselves, and he doesn’t have the best hearing. You hear his name in a whisper from the back of the van and get self conscious that they’re watching. But of course they are. If Joel hears them, he doesn’t seem to mind. With each tilt of his hips, his thick cock moves a short but impactful distance, nudging your g-spot. You’re already so full, but it fills you more each time. The tension tightens, radiating to your whole body. Begging for release. The motion is smooth and fluid beneath you. It’s like you’re riding an ocean wave. Your breathing gets heavier.
You squeeze your thighs together, tightening around his cock. Joel grunts into your neck, then whispers “I don’t think so, sweet pea” and stops moving. He’s really punishing you. For almost the rest of the ride, he holds you completely still on his cock. Your heart races and your face is hot. He’s leaning back against the seat and has you leaning back against him. You ride in silence, listening to the noise of the road under the tires, pitch black under the blindfold. Joel’s as thick and hard as ever and the swell of his shaft twitches. Every bump in the road provides welcome friction between his warm rod and your desperate walls.
You know you're getting close to the stash house when you reach the gravel road, at which point you’re continuously bounced on his cock. You can feel your arousal leaking out of you and onto him. Your combined musk fills the van and the driver cracks his window as the terrain effectively makes you ride Joel's cock despite his best efforts to deprive you. He holds you tight, trying to keep you completely still against him. You aren’t sure if you’ll be able to stop yourself from coming.
“You were bad today,” he whispers lowly into your neck, and you feel a wave of shame. “In the worst way," he adds coldly.
You turn your cheek as though trying to meet his eyes through the blindfold, but his hand strongly grips your jaw and forces your face straight ahead again.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper as you bounce there, filled to the brim with his girth.
“Gonna be a good girl from now on?”
“Yes.”
“Come when I do, then,” his low voice murmurs into your ear, sending a rush through your body. He better come really soon.
He inhales deeply through his nose and puts his arm flat on your back with his strong forearm resting along your spine and his hand firmly gripping the nape of your neck. He forces you down, and you fold forward with your head near your knees. Then he covers your mouth tight with his other hand. His arm presses down on your back as his hips lift up into you. He grunts as he erupts inside you. His thick cock powerfully pulses and sends you clenching and fluttering around him, softly moaning into his hand as you find your own waves of release. It feels like it lasts forever.
“Maniac,” someone says under their breath as Joel lets you sit back up.
"You did good," he whispers flatly into your hair. To your shame, your heart can't help but swell at his approval, even though the coldness in his tone stings. He's obviously preoccupied by what you did.
You can't discern most of the hushed murmurs until another voice ominously whispers from the back of the van, “He can’t watch her 24/7 forever.” Joel must not hear it or else you imagine the man wouldn’t be breathing for long.
-
The van parks at the stash house and Joel takes off your blindfold. He helps lift you off his lap and his length slides out, bringing with it a dripping mess of both of you. Your insides slowly pull themselves back together as your combined juices trickle down your thigh. You step down out of the van while he zips up his pants and you dab yourself as best you can with the dress, face burning along with your neck, shoulders, and hands. With Joel facing away from the men, you can feel them staring at you, but as soon as he steps out of the van, they look away and go about unloading.
Joel retrieves the duffle bag from behind the seat, but he doesn't bring it into the stash house with you. He takes out a blanket and wraps it around you, making you decent. You shouldn't feel like it's sweet, but there's a passing moment before you remind yourself the gesture is for him, not you. He doesn't want anyone else to see you. He said as much the first time you were there. Joel takes out some rope from the bag, and before he brings you into the house, he makes sure his switchblade is in his pocket. Then he firmly grabs you by the elbow and takes you inside.
"You're gonna have to be brave for me in a minute, baby."
we'll pick up from here next time & a couple more asks will become relevant. It gets dark.
-
-
Thank you so much for reading and interacting! We've been simping for this sicko for a month now and i really enjoy our banter and dialogue about him and the other toxic joels.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#dark!joel miller#dark!joel#joel miller x you#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fic#joel miller fic#toxicanonymity ☠️#possessive!joel#joel miller fanfiction#raider!joel#raider!joel miller#OG!raider☠️
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I'm sorry but I'm going insane for your idea of Lilith and Luci getting a sinner pregnant together can we please have more of your thoughts on this idea 🙏
Absolutely because I'm a dirty little heathen and Season 2 isn't just about to magically pop up out of the ground and I've had SOME THOUGHTS and also this post is way longer than it should be 💀
I was sitting and I was thinking of the concept of the Hotel having communal breakfasts or having at least one day of the week where there's food served and everyone (typically) eats together, not only as a bonding/unity sort of thing but also simular to how real hotels can have complimentary breakfast as part of your stay, and like, yeesh this is actually an entirely separate fic idea in of itself but you're talking with Alastor and you're saying something along the lines of "oh yeah, well, I was actually starting to think a lot about motherhood before I died, but, raising children is so complicated, not to mention society right now is so genuinely hostile and dangerous to children, and i wouldn't have been able to afford it anyways, and, well, you know, NOW i literally can't have them down here"
AND FROM THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE TABLE
COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED
HERE'S LILITH, "Oh! It wouldn't be impossible at all! You and Lucifer could still have a baby :)"
RECORD SCRATCH SOUND EFFECT AS EVERYONE LOOKS TO THE QUEEN OF HELL. She seems completely unbothered while her husband is A TOMATO, he can barely even look in your direction, he's just tugging on her sleeve, "L-Lili, cmon, don't say things like that 😳🥴" and awkwardly laughing, maybe even asking to speak to his wife in private (I feel like its a regular occurrence for these two to dip out of a room and reappear and Lilith is reapplying her lipstick as she re-enters followed by a kiss covered Lucifer lmao)
Can you even imagine going to Charlie, "hey um, this is awkward, your mom keeps like. Jesus please don't kill me I'm not a homewrecker but your mom keeps making comments about me having a baby with your dad and she sounds completely serious about it and shes been bringing it up for like two weeks" and you could not be saying this in a more obvious "hey girl this is weird and I don't like it, can you chat with your parents for me to stop this" kind of way BUT, the actual way Charlie is responding ALSO THROWS YOU OFF. I can see it already, Charlie all but LIGHTS UP WITH EXCITEMENT and she, takes a breath, "oh!! I mean!! You don't have to do anything you don't want to obviously, bbBUT UH THAT BEING SAID oh gosh that sounds like it would make you really happy, aaaaand and I know you wanted a family of your own and, hey isn't this place about new beginnings and" GIRL WE AREN'T HAVING A BABY WITH YOUR DAD TF?
You know how I made that post "hey Lucifer kind of appears to have these vague Master Of All type powers down in Hell, what if he could manipulate your dreams and made you dream about being a kid because he's wanting to heal your inner child/adopt you". I also started thinking recently about Lucifer AND OR Lilith using these powers to make you dream about 1) being with them in general and more specifically 2) motherhood and i started mentally deep diving for that shit. Like. It could genuinely actually get so fucked up actually. Could you imagine you're just, VULNERABLE with the Queen of Hell and you're drunk and you're crying and you're just, SPILLING EVERYTHING, she's getting your entire life's story, and she's petting your hair as youre way too drunk to realize youre telling her way too much, amd she's just thinking "oh you poor thing, human society sounds absolutely dreadful now" and like. Think of it from a hypothetical fantasy psychology perspective. It's not like Lilith has never been part of modern society, she's been a member of Hell forever and has only been out of contact for 7 years, BUT she also exists from a time predating all of that AND she built Hell with Lucifer, so like, imagine she actually starts forming some um Strong Opinions on how, it sounds like all these complicated modern things are really dragging you down, both as a person and as a free spirit, and comes to a consensus that your life needs to be a little... simpler
I'm serious, I'm talking "Lilith makes you dream about being In The Actual Goddamn Garden Of Eden Itself with her and Lucifer and you're ALL naked". Just completely controlling your dream. You're naked as the day you were born and so are they and you can't control your dream at ALL. Lilith is wanting to like, watch you peacefully frolic around, I'm talking she wants to see you having your Hot Nymph Summer where you're napping in beds of flowers and you're having birds land on your finger and you're gasping at all the pretty flowers and wanting to explore and, experiencing the beauty of being alive without all these messy modern nuances and it's like NO MAAM I DONT WANT TO PICK BERRIES FROM THAT BUSH, YOU CAN SEE M Y BUSH AND I CAN SEE YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS---
Alastor is over here thinking he's hot shit, "oh I do so wish we could return to simpler times without all these modern trivial problems!!" MEANWHILE LILITH IS LIKE. ACTUALLY GOING THAT EXTRA MILE. Alastor is like "boo cellphones are bad and women dont dress modestly enough, people these days spend too mych time with technology and not with family" meanwhile in "the garden" a completely naked Lilith is braiding your hair and weaving flowers into it while an also completely naked Lucifer is feeding you berries by hand as they discuss the idea of having a nice fun swim in the lake passed the glade, like you guys really are frolicking and fucking around like a bunch of fairies and it's. It's peaceful and fun but also you miss your cellphone and having underwear 😩 like miss queen of hell can I PLEASE get some boob support--
Moving on, I was thinking of the Fake Garden in of itself, as its own idea, but like in this poly baby raising context, it would be essentially Phase 1 of the plan to normalize their presences to you and make you more comfortable around them and then skipping into Phase 10 of "oh hey by the way you're gonna have a dream about um sleeping with the King and Queen of Hell and it's Totally Not Real and you're Totally Definitely Not Actually Like For Real For Real Legitimately Pregnant Now ;)" like. First off before I get any farther in this post can we just like acknowledge the like HEINOUSNESS of you not knowing everything is "real dreams" and LiliLuci using this to their full advantage to ask and find out anything about you because basically to them, they think you're just being boggled down and negatively influences by modern human society and you're like an onion they have to peel some layers off of first to expose those juicy inner tender bits
Just. Ok. Like. High level fantasy horror concept ok, here we go I'm gonna cook here:
It eventually does move on to you having dreams about living in an actual home with Lucifer and Lilith, sleeping with them in you know, All Those Ways, basically in what you think is some weird imaginary throuple that while you do find yourself enjoying it like actually, you can't wake up from it, and these dreams can feel WAY too long sometimes. You're dreaming of some, "am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly or am I a butterfly dreaming i am a man" shit where you hit the pillow in Hell and Dream You is waking up, seeing your husband and wife get ready for work and you're basically a pampered stay at home spouse. I honestly can't decide what dynamic would be cuter: both of them having jobs, you and Lilith having jobs while Lucifer is the house husband, only Lilith having a job while you and Lucifer do dumb shit at home, or Lucifer being big daddy and bringing home all the money while you and Lilith lounge by the pool and she takes you to the spa and pampers you all day and is sending texts and photos of how cute you are to her husband while he's working
You're probably thinking "wait but weeb this is actually kind of cute, where is the horror" and for starters it just kind of, mentally wears your energy down over time to 'never shut your brain off' and have true rest, like Lilith and Lucifer intentionally 'trade' you being alert in reality to you being more conscious in the dream world, so, you're not as present when you're around ACTUAL people as you are when you're in their little, fucked up pocket dimension.
Then you've got. The baby. You're pregnant ONLY in the dream. You have THE ACTUAL PAINFUL EXPERIENCE of giving birth, BUT THEN you're waking up and you can't hold your child, show them to your friends, have the, SANITY AND COMFORT OF KNOWING YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONE. You're waking up DEVASTATED. Where's your baby? 🥺 oh right.... They're not... actually real... like it fucks you up psychologically
I just picture, if I were to put it in an order of events. You go from 1. Lilith and Lucifer are just your casual acquaintances, Charlie's parents that you know through her 2. They start getting closer to you as you stay longer at the Hotel 3. Ok we get along and have fun moments and even sing songs and we have fun times with your daughter ^^ 4. Ok you're getting maybe a little comfortable, am I tripping or are you a little too comfortable 5. You're Bush Out in Fake Eden 6. You accidentally slip up and get more cozy with them in reality because Ok Maybe The Stupid Garden Bullshit IS Fun And Maybe A Little Soul Healing 🙄 7. You're getting banged in the Garden 8. Being in reality is awkward now, suddenly you're avoiding them less, so you're dreaming about them more, having them push themselves closer to you in response to you trying to pull away, like even if you're spending entire days outside of the Hotel you can't escape needing to sleep eventually 9. Suddenly you're like, not in Eden, you're in a hospital getting an ultrasound w Lili Luci holding your hands as a doctor tells the three of you you're pregnant and oh no you're actually really happy and excited about it 🥺 10. crushing crushing reality. You're single and not pregnant and you're beating yourself up for these fucked up dreams you're blaming yourself for having, as if they're some self conscious desire and you're kinkshaming yourself for having them 11. Dream You is having your baby, everyone is so happy like it's actually so perfect, even when you're stressed as a first time parent you have so much love and support to keep you strong 12. You wake up and it's nothing but DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION where is my baby and my wife and my husband who love me and I love them DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION 13. Lilith and Lucifer HAVE TO to spill that Hey Our Baby Is Real because you're like going near insane with "grief" like youre like actually wanting to try and end your life or constantly self harming because Where Is MY CHILD 14. You're so fucked up at this point you don't care to ask questions when they hand your Very Much Real Baby to you looking exactly how you remember them from your dreams. You're just happy your baby is real and now you can be with them all of the time and you don't even care that um This Was Such A Fucking Ethically Dubious Conception.
Do you think the other Hotel residents would have a sliding scale of being ok with this. Like you just SHOW UP WITH THIS LITTLE BLONDE BABY IN YOUR ARMS and Lilith and Lucifer are all but glued to you and they're all fucking confused because WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? you barely even spend time with these two, or so they thought??? When were you PREGNANT??? HOW??? I feel like realistically if they aren't all, you know, as Equally Crazy For You, that they would find this extremely manipulative and fucked up MEANWHILE CHARLIE DOESNT CARE and may have been in on it.
Also "something something what if Reader being able to get pregnant also turned out to be like God Himself being like 'hey lucifer lilith here's the deal I'm throwing you a bone right now, ok, this is for you, to keep things chill between us mk' and there are added layers of Oh Shit You Were Created To Be With Them" as if your ass wouldn't have an impossible enough time escaping as is 😭💀
But like... the concept of Reader falling so deep into "grief" that it gets so bad that you're basically not eating or sleeping, Lucirer and Lilith were always gonna tell you but they're forced to do it abruptly because you just breakdown and can't stop crying. Or it's even Charlie disobeying her parents and running up to you with your baby who stops crying the moment they're in your arms
I also just... as a final note..... just as a cute palette cleanser there's one specific idea I keep thinking of... you have your new baby and you're showing it to all your Hotel buddies and you give it to Alastor to hold because your baby was giggling and gurgling at him and you're just, death grip on his shoulder, "alastor please hold my child :) they're excited go meet you, say hi" and while you're like, vaguely threatening him to interact with this baby which he has Extremely Valid Reasons To Find Abhorrent, his deer ears move or twitch, and your baby is just looking up at him with their big eyes, watching those ears twitch, and, poof! Your baby has their first Lucifer/Lilith related shape-shifting incident and suddenly your baby has twitching little red ears and they're looking up at Alastor with these big cute eyes and here you are, "alastor :) aren't you going to praise my baby :) they just had their very first shift and it's for you :) tell them what a good job they did :) you're not trying to make my baby uncomfortable are you :)" and. Ok Maybe this does win Alastor over a bit being the narcissist that he is BUT THE TRUE REWARD is Lucifer scrambling into the room after you call out in excitement, dropping to his knees and all but wailing, "NO, WHY IS MY BABY HAVING THEIR FIRST SHIFT FOR Y O U AND I MISSED IT" and you just have Alastor being an ABSOLUTE SHIT, suddenly oh so cozy with your baby, "well talent recognizes talent! This little one clearly has potential! Why, look at how clearly they ALREADY ADORE THEIR DEAR UNCLE ALASTOR >:)" and from then on you can't leave these two men alone with your baby or they'll be having nonstop contests to "win them over" and prove who the best role model/caretaker is
Ok. Lastly. Lastly lastly lastly. THIS BABY SPECIFICALLY IS RUINING MY LIFE. Look at those STUPID CHUBBY cheeks and those big eyes and how attentive and focused she is like oh my godddddddd if LiliLuci handed one of those to me "this is yours" i would just die like 🥺🥺🥺 man, I'll have to tell you guys later about my idea for "Reader wants to see if Rosie will let them adopt a Hellborn baby and Alastor helps vouch for you and lowkey becomes your husband/the child's second parent" or "Reader finds an abandoned imp baby and all the shenanigans/protective possessive feelings from your yandere/s that follow once you begin your motherhood journey "
#yandere hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer x reader#yandere x reader#yandere hellaverse#hh#sinprompts#hhhhrrrrrrrrr I KEEP HAVING ALASTOR THOUGHTS THOUGH
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Blast is more of a Goku expy than a Superman one
Initially posted on r/onepunchmanfans
All credit for this observation goes to u/Nanayon123. I'm merely gibbering incoherently at the implications.
The man, the myth...
He is styled like a knock-off Superman, and he does seem to be this iconic hero about whom many wild tales exist. And the reality is even wilder as he leads a larger-than-life quest to curb a veritable god's activities, but Blast has been a rather weird character. Seemingly a hero but does unheroic things. Warm and personable, yet oddly cold. Great deeds but leaves many of them half-finished. A family man but also an absent dad. Married yet oddly fixated on his partner, a known evildoer. A hero for a 'hobby' like Saitama, but whereas Saitama tends to leave people better off, Blast seems to leave them worse.
Seems to sum up Blast's deeds handily.
More gibbering below the cut.
...the curse
With that one observation, all the oddities about Blast add up to a coherent whole. When he says that he likes strong people (the Spanish translation, in using 'gustan,' makes it even stronger than mere liking), that's fundamentally what he's after. He likes strong people, he's physically and psychologically attracted to strong people, and if they happen to be helpful to him in his quest to thwart 'God', so much the better. Regardless of who or what they actually are. The fact that he was aware He had a strong partner to quest with and a strong woman with whom to also have happy-fun times and play happy families with. The fact that they were conspiring against him bothered him not a whit. That *is* very Goku-like. If Goku happens to help you in the course of looking to fight the strongest warriors, good for you.
So who's the sociopath here?
Sure, we can understand that Blast needs to surround himself with strong individuals to counter God. I'd theorised before that Blast was more of a warrior than a hero, but he makes it clear in chapter 211 that his mentality towards strong and weak goes much deeper than that. For strong people, he's prepared to do anything. Risking his life for the possibility of saving Void, not a problem. But lifting so much as a finger to try to save Genos, who risked his life to buy Blast an opening to tackle Cosmic Garou, sorry, no can do. Blast has no concern for such a weak individual. [1]
To he who has much, more must be given. To he who has little, well, no fucks need be given.
If you ask Blast why he's so fixated on Void, he'd have said something about Void having a unique ability. I understand why ONE removed that reason being given a priori: it'd have muddied the waters and made it harder for us to see his true intentions.
Additionally, I understand why ONE redacted Flashy Flash discovering that it had been Blast who had destroyed the Ninja Village -- at least for now. It really doesn't matter *when* Blast found out about Void's activities as a ninja, buying children to abuse into losing all sense of themselves, then sending them out to be assassins for hire; he'd have had no concern for those children or the assassins they'd become as they're weak. Only avatars of 'God' bothered him. The only concern he'd have had would be retrieving the cube at some point. That's it.
This entire explanation is no longer necessary: the ones too weak to be avatars are beneath Void's and Blast's concerns. And what harm they did is only mildly regrettable to Blast, which he made clear.
Instead, we get to see what Blast actually thought of the Ninja Village. It was regrettable, more of an inconvenience than a tragedy.
Oh well... I suppose some people died.
I wouldn't be shocked (just dismayed) if it turned out that Tatsumaki was the only person he cared to save from the facility, leaving other prisoners to be killed by the escaped monster or otherwise face an uncertain future. He's only interested in the strong. In a real sense, he's a lot more like Void than he'd be comfortable admitting. At his very best, Blast is an ancient-style 'hero' where the word means only a strong guy who does incredible deeds of great daring but is otherwise not especially moral. At his worst, well, you'd best be afraid of what lies behind those weird eyes and deceptively open expression.
adorable and yet...
The Opponent
To say that this is anathema to Saitama is an understatement. Saitama may be the strongest man -- far stronger than Blast can imagine -- but he has never forgotten where he started from. Because of his own humble beginnings, Saitama is adamant that you cannot judge a person's potential by their current position.
This guy is the anti-Blast: instead of deciding who is a winner and a loser, why not encourage people to fulfil their potentials? You never know what people might be capable of.
He has never disparaged anyone's efforts for being meagre -- if they did all they could, he recognises the courage it took to do that.
Saitama in a nutshell.
Never mind encouraging heroes: no matter who you are, Saitama is always willing to reach a hand out to you, if you will take it.
He needed that suit to not look a total fool, but Saitama didn't hesistate in the face of a child's needs.
Saitama has never overlooked injustice being done in the interests of self-satisfaction. If he's sometimes been less harsh with evildoers than he otherwise might be, it's because he recognises that people deserve the chance to do better if they've done wrong. He'll happily beat the ever-living shit out of you and break all your toys, but he takes care never to be the writing on your wall.
Go forth and find out how to be the better person you yearn to become.
If someone really wants to die, Saitama won't stop them, but otherwise, he's the guy saying to people that no matter where you are now, you *could* be better if you took the courage to try. So try.
You didn't jump; you fell. Can't have that. Saitama balances his belief in a person's right to self-determination with concern about their welfare.
I don't know how it will come about, but there's a conflict coming between Saitama and Blast, and it can't come soon enough for me. Blast is such an important character in OPM. He's literally the foundational member of the Hero Association, being the prototype for what a supported hero could be. He's got an incredibly important mission as well. And yet… yet… that guy has no business calling himself a hero as he is.
Someone has to talk sense to Blast about what the word 'hero' really means and who better than Saitama?
True, things are pretty cordial between them now but with worldviews so different, they can't stay that way. I'm here for it.
Footnotes
[1] True, it didn't happen in the current timeline, but that's only because Saitama cold-cocked Garou before it could. We've been shown Blast's character.
#OPM#meta#Blast#Saitama#heroes#Blast is not a good hero: at best he's a warrior looking to gather a strong band around him#and yet people look up to him as one -- with tragic consequences#at worst he's shockingly callous to the harms his actions and inactions do#he's definitely going to butt heads with Saitama it's just a question of when and why
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you guys are all secretly (or not) trying to guess how Will would fuck but I can actually tell you through Hugh's chart, cause we've stablished that actors are casted in roles that represent their energetic configurations yada yada so.
We can look at two positions: the Moon, which is our psyche and our foundation, and the most influential part of our personalities and how we function in reality, the Moon being a water element astro it rules the senses (no, not venus) and the sacral chakra.
And we can look at Mars, the primal force and impulse of life, the sex drive itself.
With him we have two energies that have very strong built animal archetypes, the buffalo 🦬 and the elephant 🐘, which I don't think we didn't already suspect that but. Boy has it big. Whatever...he is flaunting it around in his tight jeans and in almost every full body shot in Hannibal.
I'd say it's not dainty either. If you catch the buffalo elephant drill.
Mars manifests here in the yin polarity, while his Moon is yang. This indicates a more internally directed sex drive, which makes sense for Will's whole psychosexual vibes. It indicates that his drive is more mental than physical, specially with a Swati Moon which is a very "airy" Moon, and Revati Mars is also very mental, being ruled by Mercury. So this isn't somebody who is acting on their impulses that much. It tends to stay in his head for most of the time. Which if overload does tend to cause issues which Will sure is familiar with lol.
His foundation and senses being Swati's energy, it could indicate who loves to role play or create tiny universes for themselves to indulge and interact with for their own delight. I'd say there's a pretty creative mind here. Lots of fantasies.
Swati natives also tend to struggle with anything that they feel restrict them, unlike other archetypes who enjoy having structure and boundaries as safety, they do not. So, I'm sorry girlies but he might look like a sub twink but it's only because of the Rahu facial features. That man prefers to dominate. Not saying he wouldn't submit, he very much would, but, and I think that makes even more sense with the show, Swatis only submit to extremely dominant forces, meaning it takes a certain type to actually get them to submit and they are extremely resistant. Which. Literally Will fleeing like a fucking deer from Hannibal throughout the show (psychologically and emotionally) then finally allowing full connection at the end.
So anyway, cause I know that's what you kinky bitches want to know: how does he fuck?
He is generally dominant until someone is able to get him to submit out of LOVE, not force (Swati rules the Heart). He likes creative games in bed, you need to connect with him on an intellectual level to turn him on (Revati, his Mars is ruled by Mercury and concentrates energy in the head). Likely into BDSM (Revati and Bharani are energies that dwell in a transcendental spiritual stage, and tend to enjoy dynamics that are seen as taboo) and other kinky shit. Revatis are super kinky, actually so lol.
For ultimate satisfaction he needs to connect with his partner in a way that literally dissolves his ego. This is not the personality type to enjoy casual hookups, regardless if they engage in it or not. They are searching for pleasure that is transcendental.
#im bharani we are sex soulmates please#nbc hannibal#hannigram#will graham#hannibal#murder husbands#hannibal lecter#hugh dancy#sorry for exposing you miss dancy#hope you're getting transcendental shags#astrology#analysis#astro#vedic astrology#sexy analysis
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Jimin and the Devil perspective
I just wanted to expand some of my thoughts on Jimin and the way he may perceive his relationship with Jungkook in the lense of the Devil card that showed up in their last BMP relationship reading.
It's gonna be all over the place sorry in advance.
I always take readings with a grain of salt of course, not at face value, but it's interesting to try and analyze stuff with this potential perspective in mind.
If Jimin truly sees their relationship in the lense of the Devil, if explains a lot of fucking things about his behaviour in general these last few years. It actually makes a lot of sense.
Like why he has been holding back so much.
I don't want to make two cents psychology on Jimin, I don't pretend to be in his head, I don't pretend to know the truth, it's only my opinion and intuition and I might be completely wrong about all of this 🤡 So take of it what you will.
But guys it actually truly saddens me to say this, but I think a part of why he might see the relationship as the Devil is because Jimin still can't truly believe Jungkook is in love with him. He knows he does, but like there is a deep insecurity underneath all of it that makes it, improbable? Surprising? To him still.
That's why everytime Jungkook says something incredibly romantic or cheesy or grandiose (like "until we are 50") Jimin first reaction is disbelief ("This guy..?"). Yes of course it's also because they are in public. But in fact both factors are linked in the Devil perspective.
Jimin has always put everyone above himself, has always been the caretaker of the group, but also the caretaker for Jungkook when he was growing up. Even if the dynamic changed these days, in his mind he still needs to take care of Jungkook, it's still his job even if JK is an adult now ("as long as you are happy" "all for your happiness").
Who offered to make the AYS first trip? Jimin. And why did he do so? Probably because he saw how utterly miserable Jungkook was, he saw that Jungkook needed this, needed to spend time away from schedule but also together with him. So he catered to his needs.
I'm not saying Jimin didn't need it.
Jimin deeply loves Jungkook, he has loved him almost immediately after they met, Jungkook is the man he's wanted since day one, of course he needs him.
He loves the attention he has from Jungkook. He loves that Jungkook is his. He loves having his name on JK's chest. But Jimin has such a big heart he puts Jungkook first because he still feels he needs to be the caretaker, and that's why he needs to be the responsible one, the reasonable one, the cautious one. And they need to be careful, not for his own sake, but for Jungkook's sake.
He's so used to put others above himself that it seems he doesn't even know how to take a compliment properly. He avoids it. And he's honored to have JK's food, it's an honor to him for JK to do nice things for him. When something is an honor, it's because you place the other person in high standard right?
Did you have fun? It's all that matters. All for YOUR happiness. Jimin doesn't even think about himself for one second. This isn't even about him.
We know how much hate Jimin has been receiving online for years now. That's why he has been away from socmed and that's why he doesn't share any truly personal stuff with us anymore. We can assume he read the hate, he knows the hate, and the hate hurt him in a way for him to pull back this much.
So that's why he can be so careful at times, and that's why he's the worrier of the two, because he experienced directly what hate can do to someone and he doesn't want this for Jungkook. He wants to protects Jungkook from it.
Jungkook doesn't care of course. Jungkook is free. Jungkook lives his life as he pleases, and I'm sure he's not as concerned as Jimin, but still he makes the effort not to simply blurt out "Jimin is my boyfriend" only because he cares what Jimin thinks and if Jimin doesn't feel safe then Jungkook wants to do the right thing by him too.
But all of it guys, the worrying, the not believing completely Jungkook loves him, the caretaker role Jimin has taken upon himself and placing others above, it all comes from an internal imbalance. A false perception.
Jimin has a deep rooted insecurity somewhere. Jimin has pretty much always downplayed his own accomplishements, and in a way his own worth? Which might have been completely due to environnemental influence who knows.
So that's the reason he might see their relationship as the Devil. That's why he thinks it's an hinderance not even for himself but for Jungkook.
It comes from fear. Fear of the outside world, but also fear of not being good enough (which is like the insecurity of 90% of the population of the planet? So yeah not very surprising there)
You can put people above yourself as an act of service, but when it becomes to your own detriment it shows a lack of self-esteem and self-love. You can give to others but you also need to give to yourself, and does Jimin really does this??? I don't know.
Jungkook does not have this issue to that extent because he has that self-love (which Jimin amongst other people also helped him build).
I won't begin to speculate where this comes from or why, there might be many factors at play and it doesn't really matter.
What I believe is that Jungkook being so forward with his feelings for Jimin might help Jimin being more assured in this relationship.
But as long as he doesn't have that internal shift, where he stops buying into this false perception of himself, and whatever role he "should" take or not, it can't really evolve from the Devil.
Because the Devil is pure illusion to begin with, literally. As long as Jimin will stay in this illusion there will be imbalance in the relationship.
But if he can reconnect to himself and to his heart, which I hope the time in military will allow him to do, he can come back to a more balanced state and it will be smooth sailing from there.
I wonder if he will be able to do it at some point, I truly hope so, even if I'm quite sure Jungkook will be there to support him trhough it.
I'm not even 100% sure it's in the conscious mind of Jimin. Maybe it's an underlying thing lurking in the subconscious.
Idk man.
(All of it is only speculation and my own intuition, I am not throwing hate at Jimin in fact there is no judgement in any of these statements, merely me trying to make sense of things.)
Feel free to send me your thoughts (politely) if you have any
I have no conclusion to this 🫡 sorry for my rambling
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