#like I'm sick of trying to get help from people irl and no one actually wanting to help

[heartshattering]

I'll be happy if I can sleep at least

[punkeropercyjackson]

If you're an adult in fandoms for children's media,you have to be nice to the kids in them.The creators for the shows and books and games and so forth may be adults but they made them to cater to KIDS.I'm using 'cater' because it's become a buzzword to try to silence minors when they're uncomfortable with things like proshipping when,again,yes it literally IS 'catered' to them so they have a right to say what should and shouldn't exist in their fandoms.I'm not saying it's bad to be an adult who's super into children's media and in fact half the reason i'm making this post is that i fall under that due to my type of autism and as a way healing my inner child from a lot of trauma and i'm sick and tired of watching you overgrown tar pits bullying minors in their own damn spaces and then acting like they're actually yours

You have no right to mock them for being young or insult their headcanons and art and fics because they don't line up with your headcanons that you think are objectively superior with no basis other than your egos or call them weird for doing crossovers of their interests because it makes them happy and helps them develop their writing skills without needing to get a professional involved.You want to be horny about the adult characters and write darker topics with respect and both with proper tags?Go right ahead,nothing inherently wrong with either.But sexualizing characters who've always been underaged in canon and calling writing taboo relathionships that're taboo because they have abusive dynamics and have been proven to be used to abuse irl people(in///cest and age gap headasses,i'm looking at you)and not just 'cencorship' or whatever has no place existing to begin with but especially not in elementary/middle/high school franchises

You're literally PUTTING REAL KIDS IN DANGER with your weird little incel fantasies instead of leaving them fuck alone and degrading them over being upset over your bullshit that you invaded their boundries to push onto them and as an eldest sibling to both my biological ones and several younger people i've gotten close friends with to also consider siblings on both my side and theirs,i won't stand for any of this and i have no remorse in actively trying to push y'all out of here.If you're an adult who's in fandoms for children's media,you have to be nice to the kids in them.I'm not fucking asking

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

GENUINE QUESTION, this is going to sound so silly, oh God........but was making Teagan a redhead on purpose (actually, I just thought of the possibility of them dyeing their...)? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like the color red but “full of red flags + DANGEROUS + IS a readhead = Teagan”. Their whole self and background is so interesting to me, it makes me wonder what inspired you to create them (apologies if something similar was asked and answered). There isn't much but man, I can't wait for the next updates! Thank you for your hard work <3

Please don't feel silly or apologize for asking your question! I really am so honored to hear that you're so invested in learning more about Teagan and have thought so deeply about them!

To get the easy part of your question out of your way, no Teagan isn't a natural redhead. They actually dye their hair all the time (Their hair was actually bright blue before they dying it red.)

As for the redhead = red flags + danger equation, I honestly can't deny that didn't cross my mind when I was creating them. Though you know what else is red? Herrings. ;)

As for the second part of your question, Teagan was honestly inspired by a lot of different sources.

One of the main sources of inspiration from Teagan are from a few toxic/manipulative friendships I had growing up. You see, I was a huge people pleaser/ pushover as a child and I would always give people the benefit of the doubt even when they didn't always deserve it.

Now that I'm older, I can look back on those toxic friendships and immediately spot those bright red flags that I missed as a kid. Of course, after seeing and learning of the home life that they had, I can understand why they developed those toxic traits in the first place.

Of course that doesn't excuse it, but it explains their actions and helped me realize that I wasn't the only reason why they acted the way that they did. It was their own slew of internal, and sometimes external, issues that caused them to act out.

Teagan also embodies the abandonment issues I developed after those toxic friendships inevitably failed. ( Not always by my own choice, even though in retrospect it was a net positive for me.) Granted, Teagan's issues dwarf my own, but they're rooted in the same fears and insecurities that I am still working on to this day. ( Unlike Teagan, I actively work on my issues and try my best NOT to project them onto others)

Of course, they were also loosely inspired by a lot of other yandere visual novels I've played. If you look at fanart I've made on my main accounts you'll probably get a hint of which specific games I drew some inspiration from haha.

I will say that even though Teagan is a manifestation of a variety of issues I've dealt with over the years, they are obviously 100x more toxic than anything I've experienced in IRL.

I've also found some sick enjoyment in coming up with creative and increasingly more messed up scenarios on how to make Teagan as toxic as humanly possible.

It's almost cathartic in a way, being able to control these fictional scenarios instead of being forced into them by outside sources.

That being said, I also believe in everyone's innate ability to heal, change for the better, and grow as a person. Of course I don't want to give too much away, but just know that my belief extends to Crimson Hydrangea as well. <3

[glowstone23b]

warden/ancient city thoughts …

Anicent cities aren’t actually cities, they’re actually massive temples instead that devoted themselves to a certain god (im not sure what god the old builders would worship akandk)

They laid many people to rest in those underground crypts, that a bit of their souls leaked out of the bodies and infected the glowing cave vines, resulting in a strange mutation of sculk

and as more people died and got places in those tombs,,, the more sculk spread

Eventually some worshippers caught notice of this and assumed it to be some gift from the gods, so they continued to add fuel to it, experimenting with it, etc, finding out that when a creature dies— instead of the soul ascending to an afterlife, it is instead pulled down by the sculk and merged into what was like a sentient hivemind of connected souls working together to become something akin to an organism

At some point, as evolution of the sculk furthered and sculk sensors formed, it eventually led to a sculk shrieker

and after worshippers activated it a couple times in a row,

It summoned the massive, blind hulking beast known as the warden. It harvested as many souls as it could from the worshippers as it chased after them, leaving no one in it’s wake, before retreating back into the biomass until the next time there is a significant amount of soul that alerts the shriekers once more

Ok mini rant story thing over. i like to think that sculk works in a weird sort of method

Catalyst farm and form the extra sculk needed to begin an infection —> sensors pick up on sounds made by noises that supposedly could be creatures with a soul —> shriekers sound a scream that helps determine if a warden should form —> warden harvests any nearby creatures to help the sculk spread. if killed, the warden drops a catalyst, so it can all begin again

The warden itself is a weird amalgamation of human souls stuck together fused with the sculk. the main reasoning for it being blind (other than cave animals usually being blind since low to zero light requires little need for eyes) is because detecting sound means a very high chance of something w soul

Sculk sickness …. Possibly a rare disease only picked up by deep miners. nasty no good and probably hurts as the sculk eats you from the inside out

Illagers came across the ancient cities and set up camp for a short amount of time to try and study the sculk . you can imagine what happened to them

[ i like to think every ‘living’ creature in minecraft has a soul. that keeps them alive and thinking and breathing and stuff. and undead mobs have soul residue which leaves them with very basic instincts or things they subconsciously remember how to do ITS A FUN THOUGHT ]

[ in my little au illagers love experimenting w souls . because the more you experiment the more messed up results you get (vexes being the fused collective of 2-3 allays, or creating abominations via sticking two different mob souls together… possibly how ravagers came to be since they look a bit like villagers that got turned into beasts . fun theorizing ]

Hey invention? Phanon? I love your mind, it's wonderful. Have a drawing!

I've never drawn a warden before, mostly because it's been very daunting, but I think I got it out the way I wanted it to!! Sculk itself is kind of like... a fungus-y tentacle-y mixture, and i got some inspiration from the devil's fingers fungus irl! Really cool, I suggest giving it a look-see.

In my head, sculk would start off kind of like little eggs or pips or... whatever those things are... there's a name for it, when a plant or a cell decides to split off to make a new plant or cell? Mitosis? Bulbs? Plantlets? There's a word I'm looking for. Anyways. They'd probably grow mini sculk bits off of more mature ones so they can drop off and spread on their own, kind of like some types of succulent if that makes sense? Which explains the little sticky-outy bits on the wardens' horn things. Man, there's gotta be proper terminology for this, my brain is not finding the right words today.

They'd release some sort of bioluminescence when disturbed, and have an almost tar-like substance produced to trap smaller mobs (spiders, bats, etc.) that happen to wander too close, akin to fly traps. It wouldn't work as well for humans, but it's not uncommon to have your foot tugged on by some sculk in the hopes it can digest you.

I went off "The warden itself is a weird amalgamation of human souls stuck together fused with the sculk" because it's FREAKING COOL, so !!! Yeah!! I've got some of the larger/longer sculk tendrils used as arms and 'fingers' in a sense, though they're not all that precise in use. It just opts to smack the heck out of people usually. The bones in the shoulders and feet I thought were really cool on the in-game design, so I feel that the sculk would grow around any sorts of bones it had access to to keep a more stable structure. Keeping yourself upright if you're a soft mass of plantiness/fungus-yness would be a little tough, I think. Also, keeping bones close to the sculk might make it easier to tether souls together? Who knows!

It'd be neat to see what types of matter the sculk would attach to to form a warden-- it could be enderman bones, for all we know! Big and long and short and stubby, and all of the bones are in the wrong places. Using femurs for toes, or ribs for arms... it'd definitely not be fun to see in person.

Sculk sickness sounds SO NEAT TOO!!! I imagine you might be able to inhale it, like spores? Since it feeds off of xp or souls, you just keep fueling it once you're infected whether you like it or not. Does it have any cure, or would you have to have some sort of surgery to try to remove the existing sculk from your body? That'd cause a heck of a lot of complications, if it were to block anything internally. Wild, but neat to theorize about.

And YES on the experimenting with souls thing! Especially with the update so vexes look a lot more like allays-- definitely experiment material. I wonder how many more mobs are out there that we haven't seen because they haven't been made yet? Just mish mashes of any sort of soul they could get their hands on, inhabiting a body that doesn't feel quite right. Kinda interesting!

Thank you for sharing as always ily you rule. Your theories slap, may your inventory be full of diamonds or something. May the Nether's fire guide your way, idk. More piglin-y, as per my blog, lol.

[frecklystars]

i still feel absolutely fucking nothing for my f/os and im so depressed and i wanna die and my birthday is friday and i hate my birthday and i just. rahh. i wanna self ship again. thats it!! i just wanna self ship again thats literally all i want to do!! but instead ive been in and out of the hospital every couple of weeks bc i'm having so many panic attacks that make me feel like im going to die

i am so fucked up from all the bullshit i was put through these last 2 years that i cannot fucking function, i am so paranoid all the time that anyone who interacts with me is out to get me because they [redacted reasons i cannot publicly state]. it doesnt matter if ive known someone for 1 day or 10 years, i dont trust anyone online anymore. i dont trust anyone who's nice to me because so many times it was people with malicious intentions. i dont fucking trust any TF blogs, ive been blocking any TF blog who interacts with me On Sight from all the shit that ppl from that fandom put me through.

there's 600 new inbox messages now and i havent opened any of them. people are sending me dms every single day and i havent opened any of them. i hate that my distrust towards irl people has bled into self shipping and now i am just Too Depressed to self ship. it is my anniversary w/ a character who's supposed to be such a comfort to me today and i feel Nothing. driver used to be Everything to me. driver used to make me feel so comfortable and safe. i feel so numb when i look at my f/os, there is just nothing there. it is my birthday soon and i should be so proud of myself for fighting through all the bullshit my abuser has thrown at me but i feel Nothing. self shipping used to help me at least cope with the depression. i just want to have my comfort characters again. thats it. i wouldnt care how many people are trying to kill me or stalk me or attack me if i just had my f/os to help me cope thru all of it

i genuinely think i'd feel better if i tried to be online and make edits and draw more and interact with the sweet people in my inbox. i used to feel so so so much better when people would send me nice asks, F/O reassurance, fics, fanart, etc etc but at the same time i will see a nice ask and immediately believe "oh. this is a trap. this person is going to pretend to be nice to me, try to get closer, but it's a trap" based off of MULTIPLE traumatic events my abuser put me through the last 2 years. this is such an unhealthy mindset to have, to not trust anyone kind to me, and i wish i knew how to turn it off. ive never been paranoid like this, ever, until a series of events happened this entire last 2 years and i just. i cannot fucking trust anyone on this stupid website, my god, someone sends me "hi keri! how is your day?" and my brain is like "oh hey look out, that person is pretending to be nice to you but they're actually trying to harm you!!" i will look at a group of online friends i've had for OVER a DECADE and that paranoid voice in the back of my head who worries from experience "oh cool this person is after me now. this person is out to betray me. this person wants to hurt me. it doesnt matter if we've been best friends since childhood, this person absolutely is out to get me now"

i hate everything i was put through these last 2 years and especially these last few months, one day im gonna spill my guts and tell everyone what has been happening to me bc its so goddamn unfair what ive been put through day after day, and i am sick of letting all of it fester in me without being able to tell anyone whats going on. i dont even know if its still ongoing rn bc every time i think "oh, maybe it's over" it just fires back up again. the stalking, the harassing, dude dont even get me started on the fucking stalking, do you know how fucking Not Normal these people are who have been trying to physically harm me irl and online? do you know how fucking psychotic someone has to be to spend YEARS of their life trying to make me miserable when i dont even know these ppl, im just fucking sitting here? the stupidest goddamn shit possible. i have never met these ppl in my life but they're following the orders of someone else and just. being fucking insane. if you knew what someone was putting me through, what a large group of toxic disgusting people have been putting me through these last 2 years, you wouldn't even fathom how dangerous it's been and how shitty it's been. ive had to call the police on a few of these people. you have no fucking clue what i've been going through and how exhausting it is to feel so unsafe every single second that you're alive. this shit eats at me constantly. i don't get any peace of mind. i think one day this really will kill me but at least i won't have to deal with it anymore if i'm dead. and!! i hate that i have that mindset! i hate that every time i drive to work, i hope beyond hope that a car is going to obliterate me. that isnt normal!! i should not be hoping to die!! but genuinely i dont think im ever going to be safe ever again and im so tired of dealing with this fear every single second every single day for years. years!!!! every second!!! every single second im awake i am fucking stressed out of my goddamn mind!!!!

months ago, i queued so much driver stuff for today, and i almost want to delete all of it bc its so. useless. dude i feel Nothing for my f/os. i feel unsafe with my f/os because i feel so unsafe with 99% of the people i interact with online because of all the horrible things ive been put through all this time. it's all pointless. i dont know if im ever really going to come back to blogging regularly. i just wake up, i go to work, i have panic attacks and i throw up, and then i go to sleep. sometimes i come here to vent and then refill my queue, but what is the point of refilling my queue anymore tbh. i keep trying to go through the motions to see if i can reclaim self shipping one day and then i can just bounce back, but god its been several months and ijust cant do it. i cant wait for this to kill me, ic ant wait for this to finally make me snap bc im so so sick of going through this every day. im tired

whatever ill delete this later and it wont even matter lol what else is new. keri makes another vent post about feeling depressed and unsafe. fork found in kitchen or whatever

[my-castles-crumbling]

Greece anon here

Thank you for what you said about the eras tour rant I went on, it's really helped to calm some of my nerves.

Also good news! We didn't sell the tickets to strangers but to someone my mum works with and they will probably be able to grab the merch we want when they go to their show if we give them money for them so I probably won't have to worry about merch lines at all which is good. But if the lines are short when we go we might go anyway just to see what's left yk.

I have got the loop experience 2 earplugs because I saw a bunch of people recommending them but I'm really scared I'll be able to hear my voice really loudly in my head. I'll see when I get there whether the noise is bad enough to have to wear them.

It is almost only 10 days away and i am freaking out!!!! There is no way I am seeing Taylor swift in 10 days that's not real. She's literally my favourite person in the world and I'm going to see her in real life I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

How did you organise your bracelets? I want to put the ones I get from other people on my wrists and keep the ones I've made separate but I just found out that wembley don't allow metal carabiners inside so I am trying to come up with a new way to hold them. My bag has a bunch of compartments (because I like to organise) so I might just have them loose in one of the big compartments lol

I'm going out with my friends on Wednesday (including the one I'm going to the eras tour with) and I'm going to be yapping about it so much they're going to be sick of me but I don't care because I'M GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR!!!!

I'm trying to get everything that I need to get done over summer break done before my show so after I can just lay and think "oh my god that was amazing I'm so sad it's over" but I tried to open the book I have to read yesterday and I just kind of stared at it for a while, not a lot of reading happened... But I opened it!!! And that counts as progress 😌

I'm so happy I'm actually going to the eras tour!

I got my tickets over a year ago (11th July 2023) and I have been waiting so patiently I can hardly control myself anymore. Like on the 16th August I am going to be AT THE ERAS TOUR!!!!! it's crazy I can't believe it. I watch a livestream of every single show (yes, every. Single. One. I know it's excessive but I just love it so much) and soon it will be MY show. I have seen it through over 100 grainy livestreams at like 2am and during classes and MY SHOW is so close I am so excited I could throw up, my stomach hurts if I think about it for too long.

This was long and it was mostly me rambling but once I get talking about it it's hard for me to stop so sorry but hey it could have been worse! How are you? I hope you're doing well, summer sucks sometimes cause of the heat but sometimes it's great, and I hope it's going great for you!

Hi!!! Ahhh, I'm so excited for you! You have to update me on how it goes, okay?

I organized my bracelets where I had my inappropriate ones on one arm and my g-rated ones on the other lol. Because I knew kids would be there. TBH my biggest regret of the show was that I didn't trade a lot though! I'm super socially awkward irl so I was scared to go up to people, so I only got a few trades done, so don't do what I did! Luckily when I went to the movie later on I was braver, but I still have like ten of my own bracelets left :(

I'm doing pretty good, my summer is going well! I can't wait to hear about how amazing your show is! <3

[dandelionsoda]

hey! sorry if this is invasive but i was just looking for some advice

i’ve recently been getting into pee stuff and idk how to feel about it. it kinda started when I really needed to go but I couldn’t be bothered and I was horny so I touched myself and when I came I peed too. but I wasn’t like ‘ew’ it kinda turned me on more

I like to drink lots of water and hold it

I like to watch girls (I’m also a cis girl) pee themselves

I often find myself wanting to pee myself again but I’m scared to do it, any advice?

thank you!!

Honestly I dont have too much advice specifically for wetting because I've never done it (I'm strictly a dom and all the times I've done omo play irl have been me controlling my partner's bladder, we never go as far as actually wetting because it's not as much of a turn-on for me as desperation + we dont want to have to clean it up). But if you want to do it, can I ask why specifically you are afraid? Do you live in a situation where you feel you couldn't get away with it/dont have enough privacy? Or is it a hang-up about having a "weird" "shameful" kink? Bc if it's the latter, rest assured there are lots of people who are also into it too and you aren't doing anything wrong by pursuing your pleasure as long as you are safe and healthy!

If clean-up is an issue, you could try wetting in the bathtub or the shower where it will be easy to clean. Also I know some people have an issue with being able to mentally let go enough to actually wet themselves even if they're desperate/their bladders are too big so it never gets to that point for them. But it seems like you don't have that issue if you've already wet before.

Aside from that, the general advice I'd give for somebody just getting into pee kink is know your limits. Always make sure not to drink too much if you're holding (water-poisoning is a thing, most people can easily get desperate with only a couple of drinks so theres no need to overdo it). Don't hold multiple days in a row and always stop the hold if you start feeling sick or dizzy.

I hope that pee kink can be more accepted by society soon, because I know a lot of us struggle with shame for what we like. Unfortunately we do not live in a sexually enlightened world. However, I think since previously taboo things like BDSM are becoming more normalized, in a few years hopefully perhaps it will not be so shameful or controversial to say that you like holding your pee, or watching people hold it. Either way, I think we can change things by being confident in ourselves and expressing ourselves and what we like without guilt or apology. If no one is getting hurt and everyone involved is consenting, then nobody has any legitimate reason to object to it. I also think its a kink that a lot of people secretly have but don't realize/admit to, so good for you for finding that out about yourself!

I kind of went on a rant at the end there lol, I hope this was in some way helpful. And dont worry, your message was not invasive at all. This is a blog all about omo topics so anyone feel free to message me about it if they choose <3

[streaminn]

Random thought bc I just woke up but I really do wonder how ruts affect the person outside of sex and such

Actually writing an alpha Enid rq, my thoughts are everywhere

Obviously they tend to get more aggressive that's pretty much a given but I'm just imagining a grumpy Enid who's absolutely warm to touch sulking a bit bc she can't hold her friends bc wolves are social creatures. Not to mention the nesting thing, do you think that if they try it'd never be as comforting as how their mate/omega would build it?

Idk, there's alot of common themes where alpha's were meant to destroy/dominate/etcetc and such while omegas are built to nurture. It'd explain why they're usually known as aggressive creatures and also why I plan to slap muzzles onto alpha werewolves

For some reason my mind thinks of ruts and heats as a (monthly?? How many times do they happen again, I forget) sickness most of the time.

As in, you're not allowed to be in contact with most of the populace and most of the time you have one person help you out. How can you not see it as a sickness people get once in a while

Back to the alpha's in muzzles thing. Posturing contests aren't at all surprising, I'm pretty sure people irl do it too but when you're in a supernatural school and your students can grow claws and teeth, I think it's a good idea to give them muzzles to wear around when outside of the dorm room

Don't take this as dystopia btw, think of it as genuinely being a safety thing

Bc aren't muzzles there to keep distance? It has a long snout so it's not like two wolves can start staring each other down, it's hard to be all macho when you're ten inches away from one another. Not to mention that it'd discourage biting, so if an alpha were to be horrible in control, it's there as a just in case. It doesn't look that surprising for werewolves to roughhouse after all

But anyways, I think I've mentioned this before but I surprisingly got more omegaverse lore thatre not sexual because I got into it during quarantine and was very bored. I think you can see hints of it in my other works in ao3

[yandere-daze]

Hello there Daze! Heres just a little thought I had, I'm not sure if anyone has asked this before the the ensemble stars self aware au but how does the producer 'escape' from the enstars world their thrown into? Also irl while reader is stuck in the ensemble stars world are they like missing irl or does time just stop in the world until they return?

Funny you say that because I actually tried thinking about it before and couldn´t really come to a satisfying answer. Usually in these sort of isekai stories, the characters are supposed to complete the objective of the game or novel, usually it´s reaching the ending of the story, to return to their originial world.

And so I´ve been trying to imagine what the reader could do to escape the ensemble stars world but I´m not 100% sure honestly.

Some ideas include the reader producing a certain unit and making them win a big competition or something like that? It happened with Trickstar before in the ! era where their main "goal" was to beat fine and revolutionize the school afterwards.

Maybe that could count as an "end" to the story, making it possible for the reader to escape afterwards?

Or if they come into the enstars world as an idol themself, they might need to make it so that their own group wins a big competition or become the number 1 idol group?

Of course they would have a significant advantage then because I believe pretty much all the idols would be excited to help you out to gain your favor in the end.

Other than that? I don't have too many ideas on how you could get out of this mess but feel free to share any ideas you might have yourself! Feel free to share them!

As for your other question, I'm also not 100% decided on this but I'm leaning towards the reader just going missing all of a sudden with time not stopping. Makes everything a bit more angsty and stressful for the reader, which is what I want muahaha

Like can you imagine? You're trapped in a world you believed to simply be a game, surrounded by absolutely deranged video game characters that are now suddenly obsessed with you. And then you also need to worry about the people in your own world getting sick with worry over your disappearance.

How long have you been gone for anyways? Does time work the same way in this strange video game world? Is it slower? Or maybe even faster? What if one day spent in here is an entire month in the real world?? What if you've been missing for years by now?? What if everyone you know has turned old while you're still in your completely unchanged body?

What if no one you knew and loved is even around anymore after you manage to go back?

It's all just more stress piling up on you, just from guessing what might be happening in your own world while you're gone. As if you didn't have enough to worry about already.

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Liveblogging real life part 2: Joel (it's been 12 13 days) (already watched)

Okay so maybe we'll do the liveblog-every-five-minutes-unless-something-crazy thing also idk if I should link this up to my intro post (idk how) or reblogged my og one with this oh well we'll figure it out why am I eating AGAIN doing this

I got inspired after rewatching secret life my beloved for the umpteenth time :P

Okay ep. 1/finale is hilarious and new "series" 😭

Joel why did you point out the cursor I can't take my eyes away

First batch

Joel jumping then immediately keeling over in nausea:

Idk how to respond to that but it struck a chord within me, how true

BigB wholesome waving but it also looks like his arm is BENT I can't get over VR arms man 😭

Punching BigB because he's so tall is so real tbh + love the smash cut to Gem being salty

Headpatting + baby-ish voice "little gem/Ren/skizz" what a gentleman makes me think of the try not to cry challenge or Jimmy's crazy christmas series where he says Joel is a crybaby and Gem says he's a romance guy in a mental gymnastics train of thought

Grian throwing his head back from the outside?! Cryptid behaviour

The real life vids don't make me motion sick but Joel making retching and vomiting sounds does NOT help it makes me sick by proxy or something I hate being disoriented and nauseous too buddy

There's probably a video out there of someone comparing regular mc to vr because vr just hits different like proportions wise

Joel noises

Love this Joel-Gem duo already idk how to describe it just fun

Also Joel having to process out loud he won't throw up on Gem I remember playing Richie's plank experience or whatever years and years ago shit was REAL

Joel's inventory becoming disorganized with things that can be stacked together :(

Hey what gem said kinda reminds me of what grian said :D at the end of his episode awful :DD

Poor Joel he's battling his height complex alongside his motion sickness (rip bozo poor little meow meow)

I think almost everybody had the problem of facing the wall dude, it's okay it's very silly

Water foreshadowing (he will swim with his future gang and become incredibly sick)

Geminislay that pig

Wait till Joel learns about lying down‼️‼️

JOEL STOP MAKING NAUSEOUS SOUNDS I'M GONNA FROW UP 👹

"...Falling in powdered snow" kinda reminds me of this short story I read in grade 9 English class "The Bamboo Trap" protag fell in The Bamboo Trap™ and got bitten by big ass spiders or something the idiot, also I think got published in the same anthology as the most dangerous game 👊

Joel admits to weakness

Weird ass snow, someone built this or something?

Joel with his arms out looks so silly, so does gem

Oh gem how graceful with the figure skating history 👊👊👊✌️👉✌️✌️🤜🤛🤛🤜🙏

Lol they learn about the wrist chat

Second batch

Jimmy, oh iconic Timmy

Shield (why did I write this again?)

Bi shoes, love seeing gem's skin wearing the bi shoes I forget about it every once in a while and when I see it again it's a pleasant surprise

Vr players learn to pvp

When you use the shield to block in first person it looks kinda stupid dude

Campsite vibes tbh, I really like it.

Bee spotted 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 what is it doing

Shaky controller cursor over top chest plate I feel you

Falling irl indeed (recursive mention about plank)

LOUD holy moly Joel is loud (not negative)

Healf being something people can't look at at all times is actually a kinda funny mechanic

Smajor friendship aww when will they team up (did I forget about a series)

The poor beg for bread, we live in a society ✊😔

Grian killing??? Since when??? (Sarcastic)

Batch three

Peace and love is why they haven't died yet 😘

Arms again! Weird looking things

Hand gesture reminds me of that one diamond scar short with etho's greedy "I want the diamond" voice

Flint and steel? Weird looking thing

Omg red club looks like bugs, the way the trio gossips about them ♥️

Right no out messages...

Can't believe the most motion sick man gets in the water not once but TWICE this ep

Does he know

Where did the horse thing come from

Can't remember if I mentioned this but when the sword swings without critting in VR it looks so silly it pokes

A bugs life: the sequel

Club: deadly euphemism

Sword 😐

Something about jimmy doesn't get burnt...

Why is Jimmy jiggles the only one with a wooden sword???

Strong words from a man on the verge of mania 👀

Lol knowing impulse breaks the ground under Joel big brain man going for the kill

Something about the disappointed way Joel says "scar!" And scar stabbing him in the first caused this

Tim is so British he says "get in" so much

Joel, again exasperated, cries out "where's all my stuff?!"

Funny Minecraft men, my favourite funny Minecraft men

My god seeing from Joel's perspective his second death is from zombie

I think Joel was about to saying bluming + the cover behind house + the constant begging for his stuff back + violence as an answer (he hits men)

4

Oh scar up to no good again

JOEL GETS IN THE WATER AGAIN!!! MOTION SICKNESS WIN!

Joel and scar just did mitosis stop being scared of biology 🙄

What was Mr solidaritygaming doing in that hill and said yes to did he finally get iron?

Aw the silly arm motion I love greeting people with spirit fingers reminds me of that

GOON SQUAD?! (neuron activated)

Famous moment

Oh more famous moment here comes the smallidarity kiss

Love Tim's body language once again the sharp smooth head turn to grian he's like a cartoon character

(what grian mean they are suited and booted he cut this part out I don't remember the other povs 😢)

Leave it to solidaritygaming himself to be the most homoerotic straight man there is of course + Joel is still patting him on the head? + Timsel being cringefail needing to jump multiple times on ONE BLOCK + Joel did NOT need to lean that much he looks like he's powered by springs + Jim's arms always being so tight together. Makes him. Look like. An old granny??? + Joel IMMEDIATELY checking his wrist afterwards like it's a Tuesday and he's on break + homophobic GRIAN + impulse's dad delivery one liner

The more I watch smallidarity kiss the more bizarre and asinine it becomes to me 😀

When did Joel learn to button jump (he WAS mental for jumping irl irl)

Okay Joel cut out that canary comment why don't you 🙄🙄🙄

WHACK 💀 SHAKE YOUR HANDS REAL FAST 💀💀 JOEL SCREAM #3997 💀💀💀

Fond of Joel's cadence of saying "hello guys!" And "I'm coming in boys!" And "HAHA!" oddly musical

Okay aaaaaaand he dies worst ranking ever good for him the end

Idk if I should liveblog scar next or watch Ren because I've already watched up to skizz + me 'ead 'urts oh well

[naviclenek0]

I'm just gonna go on a small rant about how the P5 community treats Shutaba and how it's genuinely kinda dumb in a way.

It really tires me how when anyone sees a fan who is playing or just discovering Persona 5 for the very first time and realizes the chemistry behind Futaba and Ren (Joker) and ultimately starts shipping them, gets bashed on by anyone with saying "omg they're literally brother and sister that's gross ew, Futaba is a child, nasty ass proshipper"

It happened to me, I discovered P5 not that that long ago and I tried joining fandom spaces and it was.. hell.

So I'm hoping that this could hopefully help someone and maybe stop those toxic people who literally start crying and labeling stuff with extreme terms.

First of all, Ren is NOT Sojiro's adopted son. He's more like his protégé, his student in the coffee, curry, café, womanizing (lol), ect spaces. He only "took him in" because he's the only one who said yes to taking in a guy on probation. Yes, I am not doubting the bond they have, but it's like a sensei and his student. Dazai and Atsushi from BSD basically.

And I see many many MANY people try to argument against this with parts of the games where characters mention that she's like a little sister.

Wanna know the fun part about Persona?

You get to CHOOSE if you want Futaba as your silly sister or gremlin girlfriend, OMG amazing right???

And there's even parts where you yourself can make remarks about being family and she'll just be there like: "Are you fr?? Weirdo"

I'm not here to bash on anyone who likes them as the coffee/curry sibs, it's not my cup of tea because the fact that they're so touchy and close disturbs me when thinking of them as sibs, but if you like it, go for it! It's cute tbh

But just because you see them as sibs, doesn't mean you have the right to call someone a proshipper for liking them as a couple, Futaba deserves to be with the man who saved her life and fans get to do as they please, that's the magic of having freedom and being able to CHOOSE.

Now the Futaba being a child/mentally a child part. 1. She's the same age as Yoshizawa, infact OLDER than her by a few months. Y'all ship Yoshizawa with Ren just fine. 2. Futaba is clearly autistic coded. As an adult with autism, I get told I act like a child frecuently. The infantilization of Autism is outrages and needs to stop, Futaba is incredibly smart and isn't a little baby. Have you not seen the things she says to Ann??

It now scares me to interact with the fandom because of how many times I've been attacked to the point I just gotta shut off the pc and let the anxiety flood away, I can't even make friends with ppl with the same interest, in the english P5 fandom because of that.

Good thing is that (most) of the spanish speaking Persona community is chill and knows that drama about said ship is honestly stupid.

Basically just, let people do as they please, go touch grass and if you don't like the path someone took in game, then just block or don't interact with that thing.

IRL you can't block people but online you can, so you shouldn't rage or seeth about it, especially about a game.

Saying someone is a proshipper by shipping Shutaba is like saying someone is a criminal and a violent person for playing Fortnite or that horror artists are sick and twisted people just because of their stories.

Instead, actually go after those who are problomatic like those who genuinely ship Kotone/FeMC with Ken.

[forcebookish]

ok i'm doing it: ep2 (mostly unpopular) opinions. it's so fucking long i'm putting it under a readmore lol YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

topmew have bewitched me body and soul. i love everything about them. i was so into the idea of them being "toxic" (fandom has ruined that word, i reallllly hate it but it applies here) but hilariously, i think they're the least toxic relationship in the show (if you don't count aprilcheum): they talk about their feelings and boundaries, they go on dates, they genuinely care about and are interested in each other as people. and they want to have sex!!!!! but on mew's timeline, which i like. i love their dance and how flirty they are.

top's trauma is both heartbreaking and unique. it's great writing and it feels like there was a lot of thought put into it. force's acting is incredible. he really looks like a scared little boy and before he admits he can't sleep alone he's got a look on his face like he's scared he's going to be laughed at. because he has been laughed at :( even mew laughs at him (which i kind of liked tbh it was a really honest reaction and i like that he apologized for it). he could have made it into a sob story and told mew when he was trying to sleep in his bed with him, but he only admitted to it when asked and didn't try to ask again about sleeping beside mew, which i think says a lot about him. my son is a good person. as always, forcebook know how to make a scene feel Real.

mew is hot. that's all.

ok actually, mew is fascinating (but not because he's a puppet master🙄 i'm now 100% sure he's not, why would he be lying in his non-diegetic literary device confessional?? please). he is very perceptive (so is top tbh), but boston seems to be a bit of a blindspot (for both of them). i had a suspicion that mew knew that top and boston hooked up, but now it seems like he might not - and he took it at face value when boston lied about top dumping him once they have sex 🤔

i don't care about sandray, there i said it. they're boring.

ray especially is boring. irl? unrequited love and losing a parent is tragic, and i do feel for him, but in fiction? it's tired. wah wah my crush doesn't like me back wah wah dead mom wah wah. i hope his arc picks up but for now i'm totally lukewarm

also the smoke makeout is gross. all i can think about is how bad they must smell and taste😒

i love that sand makes plum wine. plum wine is fucking delicious and i'm very relieved those creepy jars in his apartment aren't pickled eggs djkfjlgjf and i'm happy he's bi!! woohoo!! but other than that, i don't find him particularly interesting, although he definitely has potential (legal issues with the wine, whatever the fuck he and top have going on)

obviously, FUCK BOSTON. hope that sexual predator drowns xoxo i don't want to get into it again because i've already made like nine posts about it but god he is a bad dude, and not in a fun way at all. he actually makes me sick. and i'm not exaggerating or being dramatic, i barely ate yesterday because that scene combined with the fandom reciting rape culture talking points without any self-awareness (even sticking to their guns when called out on it), just unironically saying almost verbatim every victim-blaming kind of bullshit people use against real sexual assault survivors made me SO uncomfortable and anxious.

nick...... sweetie pie what are you doing with this walking red flag what do you even like about him is the sex really that good because it honestly doesn't look that good

(like. topmew's love scene in episode one is hot, aesthetically, but i also can't help but think how fucking good everything they did actually feels. not just from an acting perspective but what they are physically doing: the grabbing, the neck and chest kissing, the grabbing, pelvis-to-pelvis and chest-to-chest, the grabbing djfklsjlgd but all of boston's are just kind of like. yeah ok you sure are having sex. that sure was an orgasm. idk, ymmv)

i do think it's funny that there are so many viewers who think that mew is going to "snap" and "seek revenge" or whatever, when nick is such a better candidate for it. that boy is already crazy, he's on a knife's edge. and that sex tape plotline coming up? the photobooth photos? he's going to do something drastic. ticking fucking timebomb.

APRILCHEUM ARE SO CUTE AAAAAAA I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THEM

good lord i wrote a lot. i hope the fandom doesn't burn me out with their bull shit because there is such a severe lack of forcebook and topmew love and a fucking glut of content for everyone else, and i want to make stuff for forcebook (and especially top).

also i feel like i'm going to end up writing a lot of topmew fanfiction. like with abaab, probably not before it finishes airing but... plus, i still don't have any real ideas, just vibes and some, ah, positions i would like to write hahaha

thank you for reading this far omg

[venomroses]

Hi this is an ask inquiring about the fucked up details of the zones nothing is off the table I wanna know what u mean!!

hi!!

i guess what i want to see is how the bad parts of the zones affect killjoy culture/desert culture in general. like fucked up things on a larger scale i guess. i see a lot of easily-resolvable bad things (ex. someone gets hurt but then someone else patches them up, minor character death) or what's basically just violence for the sake of violence (everyones evil and kills and hurts other people in cold blood with no good reason, what i made the original post about). neither of these are inherently bad (though the latter usually isnt my cup of tea) and technically do acknowledge bad things in the zones but its on such a small scale. i wanna see worldbuilding!! bc theres so little canon content for danger days it makes it the perfect story to build up your own little world and i feel like people definitely build up the characters but don't build up the actual world as much. or maybe they do and i'm just not seeing it?

like one idea that i've been kinda toying with lately (that i hope is a good example) is the idea of medics usually being loners/in groups of other medics instead of each group having a medic or two because without proper medical care, something that might have an easy fix irl can be deadly or at least way worse in the desert, and because of that people fear getting sick. because medics are constantly around people who have potentially contagious diseases, people fear being around medics and try to avoid them if necessary to avoid getting sick. this is part of why being non-op if youre trans is so common- most people won't risk an operation if it isn't necessary to stop them immediately dying. this avoidance of medics is also part of why so many people in the zones are misinformed or just aren't informed at all about many illnesses- how are they going to learn if they won't get near the experts?

basically just worldbuilding my beloved <3

here's a bunch of ideas for potentially fucked up things beyond just killing murder violence and questions to prompt worldbuilding, if anyone's interested. under the cut bc this is long:

like i was talking about above, sickness. how do people generally act toward those who are sick? how much of a difference does the type of illness make in how the sick person is treated? does the way they're treated vary between different kinds of people (killjoys, neutrals, etc)? how do different groups go about curing sickness? how readily available is medical help or medicine? how good are the average desert dweller's first aid skills, and does it vary between groups?

hunger/thirst. what do different groups usually eat? where do they get their food and water from? do they get a balanced diet, or is it just whatever they can get their hands on? do they eat breakfast/lunch/dinner like we do or not? if not, how often do they eat? do they tend to have big meals or small meals? when there's not enough food for everyone, who gets to eat first? how do different groups feel about stealing from others to get what they need? are there certain groups that try to provide food and water for those in need, or is it everyone for themselves?

prejudice/discrimination. i know a lot of people hc the zones as being very accepting, but surely no place is perfect. are certain groups discriminated against in the city too, or is it specific to the zones? are they treated better in certain parts of the zones, or by certain groups? do they have their own spaces? are there any specific parts of desert culture that contribute to prejudice against certain groups?

capitalism. since most people agree the city is a capitalist hellscape and the zones seem to work somewhat similarly (people still having to buy things, a lot of people have written stories about killjoys trying to get enough money to buy things they need, etc) how do you earn money in the zones? if people have jobs, are workers paid well? what happens if you dont have enough money to get something you need? is trade/barter acceptable, or is it money only?

shelter. it gets pretty hot during the day and pretty cold at night, how many people have adequate shelter? will others take you in if you don't have shelter? do people stay in their shelter of choosing for extended periods of time, or do they move around a lot? how do people decorate their shelters, or make them more comfortable? what types of furniture or supplies are found in the average shelter?

violence. how often do people face violence in the zones? what reasons to people have to be violent to one another? does violence usually come from other zone dwellers, or does it happen between zone dwellers and better living industries? are violent incidents usually fatal or not?

childhood. how are children usually treated in the zones? how protected are they from the above problems? what lengths will people go to to help a child in need? what age is considered adulthood? do children lose the help and protections they once had (assuming they had any) once they're considered adults? is anyone willing to help those who've just reached adulthood?

obviously there's more things than that, but i think that's more than enough to get you started. lmk if you actually use any of these to do some worldbuilding, id love to see it!!

[frogsandfries]

I'm so exhausted.

Okay, look, I know I seem to be expressing a lot of physical exhaustion lately, but this is more in regards to my increasing exhaustion with what the internet has become: One giant, inescapable, smothering advertisement.

I probably only want to cry about it right now at this very moment because I'm so tired, but I mean, honestly, if I'm not crying over it, I'm seething over it.

So you, a corporation, you don't want to pay your employees fairly or properly, and you then expect people who can barely afford their rent, never even mind their stupid health insurance or any of the other expensive life necessities, you really expect them to turn around and spend every last of their five remaining dollars on your piece of cheap shit instead of a cheap loaf of bread which will at least allow them to get through the next few days??? Unlike your stupid foot soak boot things, hey epsom your tired feet while you clean your apartment after work--multitask, grind, hustle!! But also, treat yo'self and self-care.

There's no fucking point in having fucking adblock, because when I go to research how to get better at my hobby, google wants to shove a dozen more products that I neither need nor want down my throat. The only way to improve a fucking smart phone is to make it a better shopping device. "Hey look, do you see something irl, maybe during your vacation or just out and about for the day, and you need to buy it right fucking here and now?? Buy our fucking phone because it will help you have fifty afterpays instead of the usual five that you're constantly balancing at any one fucking time."

As someone who used to be curious to learn, I still remember when the internet was seen as a way to exchange knowledge and information, and sure, if you're really, really good at using the internet, or if you're incredibly resourceful, and lucky, and maybe find a group on like Discord or Reddit or maybe Facebook, full of people who share your general interest, and maybe they have the knowledge you're asking for readily at hand.

But it's bullshit. The more and more ads in a row, video after video, song after song, that I have to wade through to get to the information that I came here for, the less interested I am in things like Youtube for information and learning. I really have cut myself off from learning, because increasingly for years, it's been harder and harder to actually use the internet to learn anything.

The internet has become a giant screaming relentless bright flashing fucking billboard advertisement and I'm just so.......done.

Look, frankly, I miss having books in my home. Books aren't very reasonable for lugging about the country to your next couch. But that lifestyle is behind me. Books don't constantly advertise at me. The index in the back of the book doesn't make me watch a fucking ad to figure out how I'm supposed to be doing this next part of my project or how I can up my skill at this thing I'm trying to learn or improve at.

And whenever the hell I decide to leave my meat-suit, donate my books to a library if no one in my family wants them.

I'm just so fucking exhausted. I'm doing relatively financially okay right now. I have money to pay my bills and feed myself and still grab a couple things most paychecks. It is currently often a choice between improving my household or taking care of my physical body, or taking care of my emotional well-being, but that's fine. A privilege, really, compared to the places that I've been.

But I don't have the buckets of disposable income that the internet seems convinced that I do.

The internet was supposed to be a beacon of information sharing and a new fucking era of communication.

I don't think anyone foresaw it being a capitalist hellscape. It feels like I can't move through reality or cyberspace without being screamed at on all sides to spend out every last dime on things I don't want, don't need, and am extraordinarily NOT interested in.

I'm so exhausted. I'm so sick to my bones, my guts, my soul.

The thought of escaping into the mountains, becoming a hermit, never to be seen again, becomes increasingly appealing.

[schizowitchic]

re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Okay, I spent a few days offline, touched some grass, talked to people IRL, rewatched Everything Everywhere All At Once and some old Contrapoints videos to get some perspective, and I was able to emotionally distance myself from the show enough to rewatch it. Long rambly thoughts below:

I tried going in with the intention of feeling sympathetic for Ed. Needless to say that didn't happen, but I was able to watch his scenes without literally feeling like I was going to throw up, so that's progress I guess. I understand what they're going for with him, but I'm fundamentally uninterested in stories centering the feelings of abusive men over those of their victims. That was obviously how things were going to go, seeing as he's one of the two main characters, and I should have braced myself more for that going into it, but I didn't and as a result I kind of lost it.

I have some hope that they're not just going to have him be forgiven immediately (or at all, honestly) at the end of the season--that would be fine in another show, but not in this one after the direction they've already taken it--but to be honest I've completely lost all my respect for the writers of this show and the story they're trying to tell. In the abstract sense I can get the appeal of the message that even people at their lowest are capable of healing and are worthy of love and care, but the specifics of how it's being handled in this show don't work for me.

Taking a step back from the fandom has also helped me realize that engaging so much with it wasn't good for me; even with every possible variant of "edward teach" added to my filtered tags, I kept seeing posts sympathizing with him and I just don't want to see that--I think a lot of my over-the-top hatred is just a reaction to seeing so much over-the-top love for him; watching the show with some distance from all of that, I was able to just be vaguely annoyed and disinterested by Ed instead of, again, feeling literally sick (seriously. when I first watched the episodes I actually felt queasy at all the bits trying to cultivate sympathy for him). It was kind of a bummer to add "ofmd" to my filters, and I'm sure I've missed out on some cool posts, but overall it's been really good for me. I'm still going to be posting about Izzy and all the other characters I love, but I'm going to do my best to avoid other people's posts.

I think in general I just need to take a different perspective to this show. Instead of seeing it as a great show that I'm a fan of, even if there are some elements I dislike, I'm going to try looking at it like a set of dolls where I can play with the ones I like (which is most of them) and throw everything I don't like (Ed) in the trash. I'm also going to try not spending like 10 hours a day making gifs and scrolling through tumblr, I feel like that might help lol