#like I'm just raging for them not understanding it

[baphometsss]

I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state

We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.

He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.

Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keeping giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.

Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?

It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.

Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)

This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.

As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.

Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.

And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.

And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man doesn't not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.

Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.

If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.

And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.

[4linos]

breaking the silence

lee know x gn!reader

synopsis: after an argument that involves several tears and hurtful words, your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment.

wc: 2060 (,,> ᴗ <,,)

You had both had a long and tiring day, but it was the silence that had you awake, not the exhaustion. Since the argument earlier in the evening, there had been an unbearable, uncomfortable silence between you and Minho. Really, it had been a dumb approach. It was a small miscommunication that might have been cleared up in a few minutes. Instead, the words had come out of your lips quickly and harshly before you had a chance to think about them, and Minho had snapped, his face tensing in anger. You tried to explain and apologize right away, but he didn't listen. He had turned away without even looking at you, which was an obvious sign that he didn't want to speak with you.

Hours had gone by now, and the tension in the room was intolerable. Your pulse is racing and the knot of anxiety in your chest is getting tighter as you lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Half expecting him to be there, you reached to his side of the bed, but the room was cold and empty. He was still on the couch. After a moment of hesitation during which you bit your lip, you got up and walked quietly into the living room. With his back to you, Minho sat on the couch and watched the TV without paying much attention. The distance between you two felt like an entire ocean, and his shoulders were stiff.

"Minho," you said softly, your voice tentative. “Please… can we talk?” He didn't answer. The ensuing silence was suffocating. As you waited with your heart pounding faster, he stayed motionless with his back to you and refusing to acknowledge you. In an attempt to calm yourself, you swallowed. "I’m sorry Minho. I didn't mean to upset you. "Look at me, please." Nothing. He didn't appear to have heard you at all. It felt almost like a physical barrier because of how heavy the silence was between you two. You tried "Minho…" once more, your voice hardly audible above a whisper, the words suddenly desperate. "I really apologize. Talk to me, please.”

Still nothing.

A part of you wanted to turn away, to give him the space he so obviously needed, to leave him alone. The other side of you, however, couldn't take it. You felt the weight of the unsaid words weighing down on your chest as the silence tore into you. You felt as though the silence was choking you. Gently resting your trembling hand on the back of the couch, you were almost touching him, but not quite. "Please, Minho. I don’t want to lose you. When you act like this, I'm not sure what to do.” You thought he may finally say something as his shoulders stiffened. But the words that came out of his mouth were quiet, icy, and far away.

Without even looking at you, he murmured, "I don't want to talk right now." His voice was flat, with a hint of concealed rage boiling beneath. The words hurt more than you thought they would. Tears threatened to spill out of your throat, but you fought them back. "Minho, I'm at a loss for what to do. I hate this. I hate the way you're ignoring me. Tell me what's wrong, please.” When his head finally turned, you could see that his eyes were filled with a mixture of hurt, frustration, and possibly a hint of disappointment.

He repeated, "I don't want to talk about it," this time with more firmness and a clenched jaw that made it clear he wasn't going to back down. "I don't feel like doing this at the moment. Leave me alone, please. It felt like a face-slap. Your breath caught in your throat as the hurt of his words sunk deep in your chest. You felt so tiny and unimportant all of a sudden, and the pain was unbearable. You said, your voice a mixture of despair and irritation, "You've been like this all night." "Will you please just let me in? Why are you afraid to just speak to me?”

After a while, Minho straightened his posture and kept his gaze fixed on the ground. "You don't understand, do you?" The bitterness in his voice pierced you like a knife, even though it was quieter now. "You're constantly trying to fix things and restore everything, but sometimes I simply need space. I don't require fixing. I don't need to hear your apologies again. All I need is time.” The tears you were suppressing burned in your eyes. "Minho, I'm not trying to fix you. I'm just… All I want to do is put things right. When you refuse to communicate with me, I'm at a loss on what to do. When you cut me off in this way...”

When his eyes finally met yours, he ran a hand through his hair in irritation, yet there was something cold about them that made your stomach churn. "It's not always your turn to fix things. I need time to reflect sometimes. I need you to leave me alone sometimes.” Your chest tightened under the weight of everything you were suppressing, and the intensity of his remarks caused your heart to shatter. He had never been this detached, so angry, and so unwilling to compromise with you. It seemed like he was getting farther away each time you attempted to close the distance.

You said, "I'm sorry," once more, your voice cracking under the pressure of everything. "Minho, I have no idea how to go about this. All I want is to comprehend. Please don't ignore me. He stayed silent for a long time, and the emptiness between you two felt like an endless ocean that you were unsure how to cross. Then he spoke again, softer but still unpleasant, in a voice that was hardly more than a whisper. He murmured, "I'm not trying to hurt you," as his eyes briefly met yours before averting them. “But, I'm not sure how to deal with this either. Right now, I'm not sure how to deal with *us*.”

You were left whirling by his quiet, raw words. Even though you were drowning in your own pain, you could sense it seeping from him. Your heart thumping in your chest, you took a step closer. "Please, Minho... I am not planning on leaving. Just don't ignore me. Together, we might resolve this.” He remained silent for quite some time. However, you stayed put. You stayed there, both of you trapped in the limbo of suffering and annoyance, close yet still far away. His hand hesitated as though it would have reached for you, but he stopped.

He sighed at last, his breath trembling, the weight of everything between you two bearing down on him. He made a tiny move, brushing your palm with his, but it was the most subdued apology he could offer. His voice was almost heard, but he was sincere when he said, "I'm sorry." "I just want some time. I'll talk with you when I'm ready. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat as you nodded. "All right. I'll hold off. Just don't be silent for too long. Minho didn't respond, but you could tell he hadn't actually cut you off—at least not entirely—by the glint of remorse in his eyes. Not forever.

Even if it passed for the time being, the silence between you lingered, serving as a reminder that sometimes the quiet that followed a fight was just as difficult.

—

It seemed like there had been no end to the silence between you and Minho. For days, the room felt heavy, and you both cautiously avoided each other, not knowing how to heal the rift that had developed. However, time was doing its silent magic, and gradually the barriers you had put up between each other started to come down.

It started with the small things.

You noticed that Minho was beginning to leave small signs of himself where he typically didn't. His jacket was carelessly placed on the chair's back, as though he had decided it didn't need to be neatly folded. His shoes kicked off at the door in a hurry, a sign that he was starting to feel like his own home again. Nevertheless, things didn't start to change until you were in the kitchen making coffee one morning. Minho came into the room quietly, his hair a little disheveled from sleep, and he was still dressed in pajama trousers. For a long time, he watched you from the doorframe, his face unreadable.

Although you both understood that the silence between you wouldn't last forever, you kept silent at first. You just continued doing what you were doing because you had to take the initiative and didn't want to push him. He apologized in a low, reluctant voice that sounded almost like he was trying things out. His eyes were on the floor, not looking into your eyes, and his hands were in his pockets. "For everything."

Your heart skipped a beat as you froze. It was there. The first break in the silence: the words you've been waiting for. The weight of all that had been left unsaid made your chest tighten as you turned to face him. You started to say, "Minho," but your voice trailed off as your throat filled with emotion. When he finally looked into your eyes, his face softened and he took a step forward. "I should have spoken to you. "I shouldn't have pushed you away like that," he added in a remorseful tone. "I simply... I shut you out rather than letting you in because I didn't know how to deal with anything.”

You gave a small shake of your head, not because you didn't comprehend, but rather because the pain and suffering of those silent days remained present. You tried to control your emotions as you whispered, "I know you needed space, Minho." But when you refused to communicate with me, I was at a loss on how to make things better. I was really lost. He took tentative but resolute steps toward you. Almost whispering, he replied, "I don't want you to feel lost." "I apologize for making you feel that way. I just want you to understand that it wasn't about you. I was the one. I've honestly been overwhelmed.

The pain in your chest slowly begins to ease as you finally release a breath you were unaware you were holding. "I get it, Minho. Yes, I do. But if you don't let me in, I can't support. At that moment, he extended his hand and lightly touched yours. The tender touch served as a reminder that you were still there for one another despite the stillness. "I'll try," he answered in a quiet but genuine tone. "I swear. I'll let you in more. I don't want to isolate you again.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, not from sadness, but from the relief of hearing him say it. For the first time in days, you put your arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug as you moved closer, your heart overflowing with emotion. After a moment of hesitation, Minho wrapped his arms around you and held you tight, allowing you to both feel as though the burden of the last few days had been lifted. It was a subtle acknowledgment of guilt and a subconscious understanding that although things weren't flawless, they could still be fixed.

You muttered, "I'm here, Minho," against his chest. "I'm not leaving either." His voice was muffled as he talked into your hair, holding you closer. “I know. I’m sorry for making you feel like you didn’t matter. You do. You always have.”

Even though there was still some tension, hurt, and stillness, it didn't matter just now. The important thing was that you were both prepared to start over and, no matter how long it took, find your way back to one another.

Minho then said, "Let's take it slow," while planting a gentle kiss on your forehead and wearing the smallest of smiles. “But let's do it together.”

From then on, you were aware that you would deal with any challenges together; there would be no more silence, only love, understanding, and patience.

—

nini’s notes 111124

hi everyone! this is my first full length fic & it’s angst! i personally lovee reading angst so i thought i’d try it out, i hope you enjoy & don’t forget to leave any feedback that you may have 🤗🫶

asks are always open if you have a question, concern, or request!

-🎀

[icarusredwings]

Fortunately, Wade has re-died multiple times already before they found the girls, He found out because some other group of scared humans shot him. Wade, like an idiot, had tried to be friendly and was attempting to bring them a can of corn but honestly his friendly demenure scares other people WAY more then regular zombies because its the idea that Wade is SENTIENT. He can "talk" "feel" and has emotions.

He understands when you tell him things and while sometimes he dosn't make the best choices he is still very human like. This is the part that scares Logan and most others.

Zombies aren't conscious. They dont have prefered foods and like hugs. They couldn't figure out simple puzzles like if one door is locked to go around to the back door or how to properly use stairs and simple slide locks. They didn't ask their daughters about their day and play catch with them. They didn't sit at the table and whimper for their non zombie husband to feed them. They are just hosts to the virus.

But if anything, the virus is a new host to Wade's cancer, making him even more disgusting from the fact his flesh is literally falling off, but he can't die from the virus. His brain is much stronger then theirs and because of this- The idea of a person like wade, whos clever enough to put his hands up and drop to his knees when he sees other people now, going around eating people, possibly fooling them into false trust.

You're right, though. Wade is so SO proud of his girls and even more proud of Laura for forcibly having to mature quick enough to protect Gabby and handle her mentally as well as physically being able to provide for her.

Once or twice, Wade has found Laura crying from the stress of her father being gone and having to watch both Wade and gabby. Everything in her logic side of her mind was screaming at her to get away from him, but his arms were out, and his parental eyes got her to cling to him, hugging him tightly as she sobbed into him. The type of hug where she loses control of her claws and ends up stabbing him the same way her father does after a nightmare.

"Ooh!! Are we allowed hugs today?"

Only for Laura to scream at her to stop, to get back. She's a mess, ugly crying and tears running down her face faster then she can clean them.

Gabby jumps, tilting her head in soft shock before crossing her arms. "I'm telling dad that you're hogging papa!"

She runs off and laura turns to look at Wade, whos softly snickering. They laugh and deep down are glad that Gabs is so innocent still. To her, Laura didn't want her to steal her papa time but in reality she's still scared of gabby being bit despite physically in his arms.

And yes, Logan IS selfishly glad to know that if Wade ever truly does go feral, that it will most likely be Laura to do the job. She isn't hesitant. He taught her not to. And sometimes she's far too well trained. Being so young (COUGH and materal rage/ hormones COUGH) she is far too trigger happy but in truth guns won't do anything for wade.

Logan has learned that the only chance they had was decapitating him and burying his head miles away from his body. Yeah, his body will just regrow or his head will just reform but it will take about 12 hours which is plenty time for Logan to take the girls and book it to where ever else they could go.

Would it absolutely DESTROY his heart to abandon wade like this and leave most of their supplies? Yes. But he knows wade would never forgive himself if he turned one of the girls. Never in a million years.

This was far proven when gabby wandered too far from the cabin and wade tackled another zombie meer seconds before gabby was bit.

Imagine being a 13 year old girl watching your papa go APE SHIT on a fellow zombie, ripping him apart, dismembering him, throwing his organs as far as he could, shaking their leg around like a street dog does to a turkey leg.

And when he realizes, he stops and just stares at Gabs, covered in blood and ooze, blinking, hoping she wouldn't be scared only to smile widely and say "Wwwooah... That's so cool!! Ah man that guy STINKS!! Now you need a bath!"

Only for Wade to realize that Gabs is conditioned to such brutal murder as long as she doesn't have a connection. She was devastated to hear about puppins and has asked Logan multiple times if they could go find her and keep her.

"No honey, she bit wade almost instantly."

"But shes just a scared puppy! Shes probably hungry!"

"Sigh... gabs I already have too many mouths to feed. Please.. I just... we can't. I need to make sure you're fed. Not a dog..."

"But shes-"

And by now, Logans upset. "I said NO! Now that's enough. I would If we could, alright? Now please...go play."

Because that day he not only did he loose his dog. He lost part of his husband too..

I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO

Anyway.

Thinking about apocolpse au.

Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)

"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"

And wades like:

"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"

And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)

"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."

"Rah?" 🤔

"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."

"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)

"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."

"Raah!!" 😄

And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)

But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.

The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.

Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.

"Grr-"

"Aye! That's enough outta ya"

"GggRah!"

"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"

"Mmmh??"

"Bad!!"

"Mmh....rahah.."

"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"

Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.

He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.

"...aahh-"

"Wade- No."

"Ggr.. raahh"

"Wade! No! Bad."

"Mmmh..."

"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"

He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.

"Then don't bite me."

"Mmh? Mrah?"

"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."

"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"

"No, not even a tiny one."

"Mm...😔"

Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"

"🙂‍↕️mh"

"Good."

Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.

You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.

This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.

"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"

"Rahahrah?"

"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"

"Aawr..😔"

The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.

He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.

This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.

Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally

When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.

"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'

Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.

"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.

Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..

[icrawledoutfromtheabyss]

My interpretation of Artificer

(Spoilers for Artificer endings- both ascension and the other. Also general Artificer spoilers.) My interpretation of Artificer- feel free to disagree, this is just my opinion, and I have no problem with opposing personality headcanons.

Artificer isn't a manipulator. Artificer isn't naturally bloodthirsty. Artificer isn't naturally a killer. And Artificer never forgot what she became a killer for. I have a little sister. When I was still in elementary/beginning middle school, I was extremely defensive of her as a baby. If someone insulted her in the slightest, even as a joke, I held a grudge for at least a month- and I am a very forgiving person. I got angry at them, turned a cold shoulder, etc. I've matured now and wouldn't react the same way now if someone poked a rude comment about her, but I would die for her and protect her as strongly if there was real danger. I believe Artificer feels the same about her pups. I think I understand her- only a thousandth of a fraction of understanding; I can't fully grasp a pain I've never felt before. But I can grasp a small portion of it. She would die for her pups. But she didn't die for them. She couldn't. She couldn't save them. And if she couldn't die for them, she would kill for them. She wasn't happy when she killed the scavengers. Satisfied? Maybe. But maybe not even that. Maybe she wasn't even thinking about how extreme her actions were, or, more likely, simply didn't care. All she could feel was rage. All that was in her mind was not even a single worded thought, perhaps not even the memory of her pups dying- only the echo of a memory that was blurred by the image of sheer rage. But regardless of if she was directly thinking of her pups or not, she certainly never forgot who she was killing for. Even if she didn't see their eyes every time she stabbed a scavenger, she could feel them in the tension of her muscles. Even if she didn't call "I'm doing this for my children" as she burned a toll down, her wordless scream cried it. Even if she didn't hear her children's laughter in the back of her ears, she could hear it deep in her heart. If she got them back, maybe she would continue her blood feud. But if she had to choose between her feud and her children, she would lay every pearl in the land at the claws of her enemies to get everything back.

Even if she got them back and they betrayed her somehow, or they sided with the scavengers, she would still love them. Her ascension ending doesn't show a pile of dead scavengers- it shows her pups. The former she only chose in canon because she couldn't obtain the latter. And once she sees them, she accepts her fate, even if it's a failed fate. Acceptance. The only way she could be redeemed- something so little, everything. I'm not positive about her before. Was she toughened by surviving in the acidic Garbage Wastes? Was she a strong, masculine, street smart protector? Was she a gentle, feminine mother? Was she kind? Was she stern? Was she a fighter? Was she skittish? Did her smiles always have a dry humor to them, or did they light like the sun? Was she introverted, or happily sociable? I don't know. All I know is what she is now. An irredeemable monster- but only because her pups' death, to her cycle, is irreversible. She would give up the world for them. She would- reluctantly, but she would- give up her revenge for them, if she had to. She would never willing hurt them, emotionally or physically. She only kills for them because she couldn't die for them. Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps Artificer was always somewhat evil. Perhaps she's a manipulator, a liar, a criminal. Perhaps she was just looking for an excuse to shed blood. Perhaps she forgot who she was fighting for long ago- perhaps she fights just to fight and kills just to kill. Perhaps she's lost herself so much, so deeply entrenched in war, that she would even hate the scavengers more than she would love her pups. But I don't think she would. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. (One final note: if you disagree with me, I'm totally chill with that! There's Rain World media where she is depicted as something of the last paragraph that I love. This is just my interpretation of her character. I'm also not defending her actions- I just think I understand how she felt while she committed them.)

[spaceytrash]

It's painful when your fav movie review podcast hates one of you favourite movies :(

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[cavycaptain]

I tabled with Kagebros that TFCon Weekend and we've talked about the tracing and redraws--FYI I also sell redraws of famous G1 scenes to sell as charms/prints. The merch is in my own style rather than taking directly from the cartoons and I acknowledge that they're not original. I'm not one to stand against the selling of redraws because that's just hypocrisy.

Kagebros has apologized and understand the consequences of their actions and that's enough for me.

People have traced and stolen from my merch/art before to the point where potential customers have become wary of purchasing from me because they did not realize that the tracers were taking advantage of my lack of online presence/small following. I'm not a fan of dogpiling, but I admit that I have made call-out posts, because again I have a smaller audience and get overwhelmed by misinformation thrown at me and I feel as though I'm backed into a corner. I have to understand that the tracers behind the screens are human like me and if they credit or take the art down, I am a very forgive and forget person. Again this is my own personal take on the situation from my own experience, and people do have the right to be upset and angry.

When you admire an artist so much, you want to implement their style into your own--I'm inspired by DJW, Josh Burcham, Dana Terrace and many more. Tracing or 1:1 referencing helps when you want to understand how those artists could obtain certain structures in their art--like hands or faces. Its a tale as old as time when inspired by your teachers but in the end you have to take what you learn from them and create a style most comfortable for your own skillset. I see that Kagebros has their own style developing and I cannot wait to see how much they improve in the near future.

I haven't addressed anything because I'd simply be repeating whats already been stated before. There are many points to this story that I agree and disagree with and I was more of a bystander through all of this while supporting my friends. But I guess deciding to still stand by my friend was enough to fuel a different kind of rage brought into the public space and affected our safety.

During this whole ordeal, at TFCon Baltimore, I was warned that a person was following and taking pictures of me WITHOUT MY CONSENT throughout the weekend. I have reason to believe its the same people going after Kagebros. I fear for what these people are capable of or what they could have planned had I or Kagebros not stayed with friends at all times. I feel so disgusted and violated. Yes, this is a public event and I had also taken pictures with friends/visitors that wanted to visit me. There are randoms who also probably unintentionally took pictures of me in passing. But this group had sought out to film and take photos of us for the sole purpose of stalking--I would also like to add that this same group has a history of doxxing people, including minors, in the Transformers fandom.

In this current political climate, its a terrible time to be an AFAB Person of Color. In a place where I thought I could feel accepted and safe and experience a little bit of escapism, I'm alarmed that even then I still feel in danger. Kagebros made mistakes but it doesn't warrant this kind of outrageous behavior. Me choosing to stay friends with someone does NOT warrant being stalked and followed.

I'm not perfect either, I've made so many mistakes, and I'm begging these people to take time to look inward, to self reflect on their actions and to realize the harm they are causing to people's physical and mental wellbeing.

This Post is by someone that wants to remain anonymous, they DM'd me this and asked me to post

The callout campaign against Kagebros has gone WAY too far. The lengths these people have gone to violate someone’s boundaries and privacy in order to “warn” people is incredibly excessive and is dealing horrible damage to their mental health and wellbeing. It needs to fucking stop.

The situation has spiraled completely out of control, spurred on by people who would rather side with a proud AI artist than have a civilized, adult discussion about tracing. Said AI artist has a history of attempting to ruin Kagebros’ credibility, spreading disinformation and rumors about them and their nonprofit charity zines, now going as far as to allegedly incite people to nonconsensually take photos of them at their booth at TFcon Baltimore, and block-evading their socials in order to find more posts to pick apart.

As they have stated already, Kagebros never had ANY intention to scam people, which understandably doesn’t change how those affected may feel. That being said, they could have very easily traced over things without altering them in any way at all, like many others within the convention vending sphere have blatantly done without a callout from these same people who care so much about “calling out tracing”. There tends to be a gray area in the realm of tracing techniques within the art industry (especially professionally), and there is plenty of merit for their actions to be criticized. As they’ve stated, they were under the impression that Official artwork/figures were okay to trace over and alter, which they now know to avoid doing so in the future. Even if the details and credibility of the piece can be scrutinized, they still made a conscious effort to alter the pieces in question to be more original.

Although said effort may not be enough for most, they now KNOW that. End of story. They can't immediately change the pieces they had available for sale, and they should be showing change through their future pieces and actions, which is something that’s up for judgment by anyone. And yet the people starting this have needlessly dragged it on, inciting others to keep spreading the accusations to further audiences, leading to more harassment.

Seafoamsol had admittedly unblocked Kagebros and “offered” to have a talk with them about the situation, but their own intentions are extremely questionable, as a conversation should have been the first priority, rather than a callout post. They assumed Kagebros’ intentions without giving them a single chance to address it themselves before the callout, and are now going forward with the narrative of them being a scammer.

Again, if they truly were concerned, they could have unblocked them and had a conversation before the callout was made, instead of assuming their intentions were to deceive people.

The situation is very nuanced, meaning there's a lot of points to be acknowledged on both sides in order to come to a conclusion, which could have happened peacefully if adults just had a civil discussion with each other. There is a justifiable talk to be had here, and reasonable changes to be made, but this can’t be accomplished productively if people continue to jump to conclusions and assume intentions. This has done nothing–and WILL do nothing–but hurt people, if this behavior doesn’t stop. mistakes will be made, lessons will be learned. Please look at this situation in its entirety before coming to your own conclusions based on assumptions made by people with evidently questionable motives and a history of causing problems for others and driving them out of the community. 

Thank you for reading.

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[cutetanuki-chan]

do you have any alecto/anastasia hcs?

I think my biggest hc is that Anastasia wanted to be present at laying Alecto down in the tomb, but something went not as planned, cause she helped design it and it's her house, where is she

and not quite a hc but I want Alecto snatch some of Anastasia's bones before leaving the tomb

but tbh the moment I got the ask my mind completely blanked out on everything I was thinking about them, I'll add more to this post if I remember some of it

but thank you for asking!

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the recent ask game, i’m really curious about your take on 7 + 8 :P

for the choose violence ask game!

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

i'll be so honest: Jason Todd. i know there's a lot of argument of "who has the worst fans" and i think that question is flawed and impossible to answer, but i will say Jason fans irked me so deeply. because i read mostly 90s era Batfam, i admittedly didn't have a lot of exposure to Jason for a while, expect for his New-52 runs i'd read years ago. and since i never liked him based on those runs, i could not understand *what* his fans liked about him, or where they got some of their headcanons/ideas from. i've never been more baffled. it ranges from "oh i don't agree but you do you, i guess?" to "what character are you talking about i am BAFFLED". and it soured me on Jason for so long that i actually hate read *most* of his pre-Flashpoint appearances just to understand what on earth people liked about him. and now i can say, i love him dearly, but i can also say, i still don't know what character his fans are talking about sometimes. and i hate the fanon version of Jason who feels almost, Deadpool-ified? with this self-aware slapstick humor but a sad soft interior but also sassy and will kill a man it's just. it feels very hollow to me and it has made me almost tempted to block his character tag more than once over the years bc sometimes certain takes make it difficult to even like him. i just have to tune it out or yell about it for hours.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

i'm going to get particularly saucy with this one: that Dick Grayson has Eldest Daughter Syndrome. or more generally, that he was parentified. not a single ounce of Dick's backstory indicates him as being parentified. to be parentified you have to be a child taking care of other children either emotionally or physically because your parents are not fulfilling that role. and Dick was *never* a child at the time that another child was under Bruce's care. he has been an adult for the entirety he has known every other Batkid. and even then, the *only* one he was something you could akin to being a parent figure to was Damian, and Dick *chose* that. Dick was a grown-ass man in his late 20s who had the facilities and capacity to make the decision to be Damian's primary caretaker. he's never been parental toward any of the other Batkids, nor has Bruce ever forced upon him the role of having to raise them. did Bruce do a sort of questionable job with Dick? yeah. but i would argue Bruce did the best job with Dick of all the Batkids, and even if he was shitty with Dick, he couldn't parentify Dick bc there was no one for Dick to be parenting. and Dick wasn't parenting Bruce either. they just had a normal relationship of loving and caring for each other.

as for Eldest Daughter Syndrome i just.. i Do Not Like calling any male character "female coded" or "female rage coded" or "eldest daughter coded" because they're *not*. especially not in *this* medium. these are male characters, created by men, written by men 90% of the time, and written to be *male power fantasies*. nothing about Dick or Jason or any Batboy is female-coded bc they exist to be badass men. just because they show emotion and have complex relationships with Bruce doesn't make them suddenly women. Dick shows his anger in a very destructive, stereotypically "masculine" way. even if we strip it of gender, Dick doesn't exhibit most traits of Eldest Daughter Syndrome. he easily makes relationships with people his age, he has no issues telling Bruce no, he did not have caretaking responsibilities forced onto him by Bruce, he's not even really hyperindependent. Dick has a support system outside of the Bats, the fandom just ignores it. does Dick force caretaking responsibilities onto himself sometimes? can he be an overachiever? absolutely. but these are internal complexes that just come with making a character a superhero, it's a complex they all have. if i have to hear one more fan call him Eldest Daughter Syndrome-core or say he's a victim of parentification, i think I'll explode a little bit.

[lesb0]

nothing against women who do carry a perpetual rage to men but I just can't care enough about All men to feel that strongly about them. it's like when there's a big roach crawling/flying around. I'm not angry, I don't want to smash it, I'm just creeped out and disgusted like, ewww get that thing far away from me. But I can understand that some women center their whole life around giant pet roaches they lovingly keep in their house.

I actually don't feel hatred or anger toward men at all I just don't do not care about entertaining any of their fragile ideas of masculinity or superiority or sexuality in my life at all anymore whatsoever... I'm not going to pretend a dumb man is smart or an ugly man is good looking or an average man is talented just to keep up the status quo in society and so I can keep man worshipper women as my friends.

men are too dumb, too ugly, too bad at creating art or music, and too happy with the ways that the patriarchy enables them. I LOVE breaking the illusion by not playing along because it just amuses me. it makes me giggle when people are mad about this. if that labels me the Angry Mean Dyke, that just makes me laugh even harder. why in the hell would I care about that.

[james-stark-the-writer]

finally seated to watch Princess Mononoke after putting it off for like 3 weeks, really interesting opening, right now it feels like it'll be like a variation on Nausicaä's themes.

[irisbaggins]

The novelisation of the Phantom Menace has made me so incredibly sad, where little Anakin sees an injured Tusken and decides to disobey Watto to sit by the Raider until he wakes up. Anakin has such a deep, loving heart that he was willing to suffer the consequences of disobedience to make sure a Tusken Raider would be safe, a being he was taught all his life were brutal and cruel. And in this chapter, Anakin admits that the only thing that truly scares him, is of losing his mother. That juxtaposition, that note of I will care for this creature to I fear losing my mother, put so much more weight onto AOTC, and of Anakin's rage. He broke, and he lost himself to his rage. When faced with what he did, he rages against the world and his actions, before breaking down into further sobs at the loss of his mother and the actions he made. His worst fear was realised, and he became the monster that everyone claimed the Tuskens to be.

It'll be interesting to read the AOTC novelisation, to see if this scene is ever called back to. I just find it interesting, and further showcases the depths of Anakin's feelings and compassion, as well as the pitfalls that such strong emotions come with. For if you feel compassion and love as deeply as Anakin does, so will you feel the destructive nature of all of your rage. And that, that is Anakin's biggest weakness; he feels too strongly to ever truly control it.

[vivvy-an]

the ezra/toonimal doc is so fuckin weird to me, like i get why it got posted, i'm against doxing even people like this on principal, but i understand the desire to protect the kids involved and stop any criminal activity beyond that. but even then like. it's not reducing harm to post it with the usernames of kids uncensored for anyone viewing the Public doc to see. "oh we censored it though" do a better job.

[howthesleeplesswander]

Leo wasn't wrong: his expression when Finn broke the oh-so-terrible news was pretty damn priceless. Faced with the dawning horror and shock that briefly painted that cute face, Finn could only laugh—but it was a humorless sound, quickly petering into a barely-concealed grimace.

Look, Finn knew that the awkwardness between them was his own fault. Only a few short years separated him from the person he'd been back then, but that was exactly the point: he was a different person, now. One who wasn't afraid to recognize his mistakes and try his damnedest to make amends.

And even if that weren't the case? The excruciating awkwardness of Leo's slow approach, antsy hesitation, and forced nonchalance when he finally settled near Finn's side would've given him a change of heart real fuckin' fast.

"Did I not? I dunno, with how on edge you look, I thought you might bolt if I went and said it outright." Despite the teasing words, Finn's voice was soft, understanding. A final chuckle was much more reserved, shaking his head as he glanced sideways at the other boy. The firelight flickering over Finn's expression illuminated a dozen emotions in his eyes: the positives of them (warmth, compassion) meant for Leo, and the negatives (remorse, shame) directed towards himself.

Man, what could he even say to make any of the awful shit he'd pulled any better? Good thing Finn had never been the type to think things through; for something like this, it was better to just dive in and speak straight from the heart, anyway.

"Listen, Leo..." He exhaled long and slow—not quite a sigh, but a fortifying breath. "I get why you're so uncomfortable around me. Hell, I would be too, if I were in your shoes. I don't expect you to believe me, much less forgive me for anythin', but..."

He met the other boy's gaze head-on. When he finally said it after all these years, it was plain, simple, and earnest: "I'm real sorry, for how I treated you back when we first met. It ain't an excuse, but I was...well, I was in a shitty place back then: mad at the whole damn world, and takin' it out on anybody I came across." Those were some of his ugliest memories. Back then, he was so full of hatred and rage that he saw the world in shades of red, distorting every good thing—and good person—he found into something malicious and cruel. Finn's shoulders deflated, exasperated with his past-self.

"You didn't deserve any of that." A hand raked through his dreads before resting on the back of his neck. Still, he didn't look away. "If I could take it all back? I would, in a heartbeat. But since I don't have any time-travelin' powers, all I can do is say I'm sorry."

There was nothing expectant in Finn's gaze. Just openness, and a willingness to listen, learn, and grow that hadn't existed back when the two of them shared their first wild romp across the country. He shrugged as if to say 'I know you probably won't believe this, but here it goes anyway—' before he continued, "Honestly? I'm just real glad to see that you're still doin' alright after all the awful shit I put you through."

So, newsflash, just in case it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the universe to practically anyone else: when an interaction was awkward, everyone felt it.

Sure, the two of them could just go on like this: small-talking their way to eventually . . . parting ways (again); continuing on with their separate lives like everything that had happened between them definitely wasn’t weird and unresolved and totally wouldn’t be a thorn pricking at them for eternity. (And honestly, that sounded a bit dramatic—especially thinking Leo, of all people, could be important enough to affect someone like that—but still.) They could easily (and uncomfortably) tip-toe around each other until it was time for another goodbye, probably loaded with so many sighs of relief once it was done, like the feeling of finally being alone after forced socialization for a whole day. They could just . . . do that.

Knowing Leo, he pretty much would’ve let that happen, so. A blessing or a curse that Finn finally took it upon himself to show a shred of maturity. (Him! Mature! Leo was still one second away from pinching himself.)

Naturally, as a guy who was totally down to keep things as awkward as possible, Finn’s invitation to come closer was met with no doubt the stupidest face. He wished he’d had a mirror, just so he could fully appreciate it and laugh. Instead, Leo just kind of stood there for a prolonged moment. Well, no, he was definitely moving (because, Gods, he really never learned how to sit still), passing his weight between his feet like he was dancing atop lava rock, but he didn’t exactly make any forward progress at first. “What, you aren’t just gonna toss me some spoonfuls and see if I can catch ’em in my mouth?” he proposed. Thankfully by then, he successfully smirked, but both of them had to know he was stalling—

And for what, dude? Clearly he’s not going to shank you, and even if he tried . . .  You’re nothing if not good at running.

—from everything, apparently.

Leo blew out an irritated breath at himself. It did enough to clear his mind and force his feet to actually bring him somewhere. Pretty lame that even when he reached Finn’s side, he waffled for another second of stupidity before sitting. “Y’know, if you wanted me to be closer to you,” Leo crooned, hoping to the gods that he was pulling this off well enough, “you didn’t have to use the pot as an excuse.”

[squishosaur]

Consider: Fem!Jamiazu as Kuromi gf x My Melody gf dynamic. No I don’t know anything about sanrio characters, I just know the aesthetics of the two characters and how they are almost opposites. Anyway hopefully you understand this because its so silly to me

-Snake Anon

considered :3 i think jamil would also keep a diary of 10,000+ instances where azul was mildly irritating.