#like I'm also reached out to my reps and trying really hard to get in contact with my gov it's

[gguk-n]

Fernando's Protege (Fernando Alonso x Single mom!Reader)

Summary- Alejandro was the next big thing in Karting and he was only 8 years old. He also looked up to Fernando Alonso. Getting to meet Alonso changed not just his life but also his mom's.

Watching Alejandro zip past the strait on the track, Y/N felt a sense of pride. He was only 8 and was a force to be reckoned with. He was fast, agile and most of all humble; which was the reason why he was doing so well. Y/N always taught her son to be thankful and grateful for the opportunities and the success.

Alejandro was a tiny version of her, the biggest similarity being their love for cars. She had passed down her love for racing to her son. When he was born 8 years ago, she did not imagine she would be standing at the track in Madrid watching her son winning his first karting championship. There was a buzz as Alito crossed the finish line. His mom already by his side as he took his helmet off, a big toothy grin plastered on his face. "Momma, did you see? I was so fast" he spoke animatedly while trying to catch his breath. She smiled at him, "Yes, you were carino." while hugging him. "Let's go, you need to rehydrate and then we'll check the kart before we have to go for the debrief." she continued. Her son smiled at her, now sipping from his 'Cars' bottle.

This shared interest of theirs had Y/N working 2 jobs and a freelance gig so that she could make it to his races. But watching Alito smile was more than all she could ask for. As the debrief started, she heard a lot of whispers and murmurs until one of the interviewers compared her son to Fernando Alonso, his idol. That boy really looked up to Alonso; even though he was just a kid he knew how hard his mom worked to make his dreams a reality. He knew Alonso had to work really hard to get where he is, and Alito knew he wanted to be just like Alonso and race on the same track with him. "So, Alejandro, how does it feel to win your first Spanish karting championship?" the interviewers asked. "It's the best. I'm gonna have pizza after this." he cheered. A small smile evident on his mother's lips as she watched him interact. "You've been a force to be reckoned with. People say you remind them of Fernando Alonso." the interviewer spoke. "What does that word mean?" Alejandro asked. "Reckoned means people think you are or might be as good as Alonso in his karting days" the interviewer elaborated. The little boy jumped up and down bouncing on his feet as he answered the question, "He is my idol after my momma obviously" he said while looking at his mom, "I love him and I wanna be like him and race with him one day" he spoke with his voice slightly higher. "I hope you get to do that some day, I think it might happen soon" the interviewer said. They continued with question on race strategies and then Alejandro walked away to receive his trophy.

The interview of Alejandro after the race had started making it's rounds on the internet when people found out how much he loved Alonso and how both of them came from humble backgrounds. It had reached Fernando's PR team who showed it to him. Fernando ended up watching his races and he was happy to have such a talented boy look up to him. As he dug deeper into his story, he found out Alejandro's mom was his team, she was doing all of this alone. He knew how difficult it was; Alonso saw the potential and he wanted to help the family. His PR team ended up contacting Alejandro and his mom through social media and got them tickets to his race in Spain. When Y/N got the dm and the invite, she was over the moon. Both of them were huge fans and this was a once in a life time thing.

On the day of the race, Alejandro was decked out in green repping Fernando and Aston Martin. He was literally bouncing off the walls with the excitement. Y/N packed a small bag with some food and an extra change of clothes for Alito. There was a buzz in the air as she drove them to the venue. Alito couldn't stop talking about everything he would tell Alonso and all the pictures he would take. She parked the car and got Alejandro and some of their essentials out and was greeted by the Aston Martin team at the entrance. They handed them their paddock passes which Alejandro insisted on wearing on his own and asked to take pictures with. They walked towards the Aston Martin hospitality while Y/N tried to keep a tight grasp on the little boy's hand. He waved at anyone and everyone he made eye contact with. She almost lost him when he saw Carlos and sprinted towards him, with Y/N just behind.

"Hola Carlos, I'm a big fan" he chirped. Carlos smiled and replied, "But it looks like you love Alonso more" The little boy looked down before saying, "He's my idol, I wanna race with him one day" Carlos ruffled his head, "Sure you will" he said. I greeted Carlos, apologised for the inconvenience. He brushed it off and even took a picture with Alejandro on his request. She scolded him on the way back about running away from her. Alito apologised and even kissed his mom's hand. They reached Aston Martin without anymore hiccups.

Fernando was waiting to greet them, "Hola, Alejandro" with his hand out for him. "Hola Fernando" he said while shaking his hand. "Congratulations on your win" Fernando said. "Muchas gracias, I wanna be like you when I grow up" Alejandro blurted while hugging Fernando's legs. "I think you'll be better than me with how you're doing" Fernando replied while patting the boy's back. "You must be the mother of this lovely boy, Hi, I'm Fernando" he said directing his attention to Y/N. She couldn't help but giggle, "Hi, I'm Y/N. I know who you, he inherited my love for racing and you" she replied a blush forming at the words she just uttered; hitting herself mentally. Fernando smiled, his eyes glimmering with a playfulness she didn't notice when he spoke to her son. "Well, his mom does have good taste" he said with a smirk. Lance greeted us too, calling Alejandro a protege. Fernando was summoned by the team, "I have to go Alejandro, have fun. I'll see you soon" he smiled at Alejandro; "See you soon, hermosa" he directed these words towards Y/N, shooting a quick wink before he turned around to leave, a flush of crimson kissed her cheeks.

Fernando started 8th and finished 7th. Alejandro really hoped that his idol would finish on the podium but he was happy nonetheless. The day ended with Fernando back at the hospitality after all the post race interviews and podium while the mother and son duo were getting ready to leave. Alejandro handed Fernando a piece of paper, he had drawn him and Fernando on a podium after a formula one race in Spain with the Spanish flag on the top, "You aren't just good at karting, but you are a good artist" Fernando said admiring the art. "Gracias" Alejandro replied. "You should come to see me race, I'm pretty good" he said. "I would love to watch you race" Fernando professed. Now, Fernando turned his attention to the boy's mother, "I don't know if my team said anything, but I would like to help Alejandro reach his dream and exceed his potential." "Your team did say something, but I wasn't sure." Y/N replied while rubbing her hands. "I would like to personally sponsor him but I'll also try to get him sponsors. I know how hard it can be and I would love to watch him reach formula one, if that is his dream." he declared. Y/N smiled, "Muchas gracias, how do I ever repay you for your kindness?" she muttered. "No need to, I'm just happy I can be of help to him." he said while looking at Alejandro who was now busy playing with Lance. Her eyes darted between her son and Alonso. "We should exchange number" he said. Y/N looked shocked, her mouth agape. "So, that I can come to one of his races" he continued. "Oh, yes, yes, one second" she said while pulling her phone out. They exchanged numbers and then said their good bye.

Alejandro had gotten quite after they sat in the car, "What's up, bebe?" Y/N asked her son. "I miss Alonso" he mumbled while wiping away his tears. "Oh no, carino" she said while turning back to hand him a tissue. The little boy's voice came out in quite sobs which racked his body. She pulled the car to the side and climbed back to comfort her son. "It's ok, Alito. You'll see him soon." she comforted the crying boy. "He even gave me his number, we can call him some time later." she suggested which seemed to cheer the boy up.

A while later, Alejandro was competing in the Rotax Max championship in the Mini Max category with help from Alonso who did come to a race. Alejandro was over the moon excited. The two of them had kept in touch after the grand prix. They would call Alonso up every once in a while which lead to Y/N and Fernando also growing closer to each other. With their growing closeness, there were new feelings that had started to take place in both their hearts that neither were aware of. Y/N found herself putting more effort while getting ready before video calls or the race he was supposed to come to. Alito enjoyed his company and Fernando liked having a tiny karting genius. The race which Fernando come, Alito didn't finish podium and was bummed. Fernando cheered him up saying that he didn't finish podium when he came to see him either, so they were even.

After the race, they headed out for dinner. Fernando didn't want the day to end and who was Y/N to say no to him. At the restaurant, the waiter complimented them saying that they were a cute couple, Y/N was ready to correct him but Fernando thanked him. The waiter may have gotten tipped handsomely that night. Alejandro had fallen asleep in the back of the car on the way back to the hotel. Fernando carried him their room. After laying him down on the bed, "I had fun today" he commented. "Me too" Y/N agreed. Fernando hugged her good bye, the hugged lasted longer than between 2 friends, it was like neither wanted to pull away.

The pair got closer to Fernando as time passed. Initially, Y/N used to monitor Fernando and Alejandro's calls, now she would let them talk unsupervised which led to Y/N receiving tickets to the next grand prix and flight. Y/N immediately rang Fernando up, "hey, Fernando." she greeted. "Hi, Y/N" came a groggy voice. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" she apologised. "No, no. What's up?" he cleared his voice. "Did you send me ticket's to the next GP?" she asked. "Yes, we're back in Europe and Alito told me he is on summer holiday." he replied. "Nando, it's too much. I can't" she protested. "It's ok, hermosa. I wanted to see Alito too. I won't get a refund either. See you there" he insisted. "Ok, see you there." she lamented.

They were at the Spanish grand prix for the second time this time. Every thing felt so familiar yet foreign. Fernando had received them at the airport on Saturday and took them to the hotel. At the paddock, Fernando took the two of them along with him, even introducing Alejandro as junior Fernando. The paddock seemed to love him. All the drivers welcomed him with open arms and the boy was more than excited since he had more than 2 people to talk about his love for racing. Alejandro was a little star at the paddock. Once they found out about his karting history, they gave him more tips and tricks on how to do better. He soaked it all up.

Y/N was stood at the side watching them interact. "He's a natural." Fernando commented. She smiled at him, "yes, he is. I'm happy he has good role models" she said. Fernando found his cheeks heating up. Alejandro walked back to his mom with Penelope, "momma, meet my new friend, Penelope." Y/N shook her hand. "Can we get ice cream?" he asked. Y/N smiled and took them to get ice cream after getting Kelly's permission. The two kids ended up talking all the way to the stand and enjoyed their ice cream back.

While they were gone, "You like her" Lewis commented. Fernando looked at him shocked, "What? Is it that obvious?" Fernando asked. "You haven't spent this much time with some one since your divorce and you're literally going to karting races to help the kid. I mean anyone and everyone knows you are interested." Lewis stated. "Maybe, I'm just being nice." Fernando interjected. "Maybe" Lewis hummed; "But I don't think anyone would mind if you had other intentions. Everyone deserves love, especially the both of you, after all the personal stuff that has led you two to each other." Lewis said. Fernando mulled over his thoughts and Lewis's words.

Race day was hectic. Fernando finished out of points but was still happy to spend time with Y/N and Alejandro. They ended up going out for dinner after and spent a lot of time sat in the restaurant. When Y/N had gone to the washroom, Alejandro and Fernando had a conversation. "Alito, can I ask you something?" he asked. "yes" Alejandro replied. "I like your momma. Do you think I should ask her out on a date?" Fernando asked. Alejandro seemed to think about it for a moment. "Does that mean you would become my papa?" he asked innocently. Fernando's heart swelled up with pride and happiness, he didn't want to pressurise the kid but he couldn't help but feel so important and a part of his life. "If you want me to be." Fernando choked out. "I think momma likes you." he stated.

After dropping the mother and son at their hotel, Fernando plucked up the courage and asked Y/N, "Hermosa" he mumbled, his palms sweaty, lips dry; he drove formula one cars for a living for crying out loud, what was happening to him he thought. Alejandro gave him a thumbs up before excusing himself to the toilet. "Would you like to go out with me, sometime, if you're free?" he asked. She looked at him bewildered. "You know I have a son who I'm raising on my own" she questioned. "yes, I've had the pleasure of knowing the bright young racer." he replied. "We're a package deal. I just" she spoke but was quickly cut off by Fernando, "I asked Alito for his blessing before asking you. If this bumps up my chances, he wanted me to be his dad" Y/N eyes were as big as saucers, "He did not say that" she said shocked. "He did. I really like you, I don't know when and how this happened but I genuinely enjoy your company and I would love to spend more time with you as a man and with Alito as a father figure. I don't wanna take anyone's place but carve out a niche for myself." Fernando clarified. She smiled at him. "I think I would like that. I've been hard on myself especially after everything with his dad, maybe I would like to spend time with you as a woman." she said. "I would love to treat you right and show you off" Fernando said. "I'll keep you on that. I'll see you for dinner when you come visit. I don't really have a sitter here" she said. "I know a great sitter, let's go out tomorrow" he suggested. "who's this great sitter?" she chided. "Carlos, I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping out" Fernando said. She nodded her head in agreement. "I'll see you tomorrow then" she said, while placing a kiss on his cheek. Fernando hugged her and kissed her forehead. "see you tomorrow. Good night, mi reina" Y/N blushed while she waved him good bye. Alejandro was listening in on the conversation, ecstatic about his mom and his idol.

Hope you like it.

[soaringwide]

PAC: What's next in your love life?

Here is my love ahead spread, where we're going to look into what is coming for you in your love life, having singles or people in non-committed or early stages of the relationship in mind.

The reading doesn't contain any info on gender or orientation.

As always, this is a general reading meant for multiple people, there are only 3 piles, so it might not apply 100% to you. Take what resonates and leave out the rest.

I'm available for private readings and have a ko-fi. Free readings are currently closed at the time of writing this.

PILE 1

Cards: 7 of Pentacles, 7 of Cups, Judgement, the Tower, Knight of Wands, 8 of Swords, the Sun, 4 of Wands, Ace of Cups

We'll start by looking at your current situation regarding your love life.

It seems something has been growing in your love life for a while now. I'm thinking the early stages of a relationship or a crush situation. Zooming out, the growth seems steady, but it's possible that it wasn't so smooth when you look at it on the day to day. Some days might have felt like take 2 steps backward, and the next day you would move forward again. As a result you might be loosing your patience a little, ignoring the fact that things are indeed moving forward, even though not as fast as you want them to, or not exactly the way you want them to. You're eagerly waiting for things to take up speed and finally reach some type of harvest that you've been craving for. I also see you as somewhat passive, waiting for something to happen on its own. You're not necessarily taking any decisive action, but rather going with the flow of things and observing your relationship build slowly. Overall you feel quite impatient.

With the 7 of Cups in the position of things going for you, I think you have a tendency to get lost in your daydreams and illusions, regarding love and love interests. However, you're fully aware of that and actively de-fogging the whole thing. I see you trying to remain realistic and not too much in your head. I think that's a process that you had to learn the hard way. You're learning to pick up on the truth and discard the lies, which is quite painful and not a growth that happens in a straight line. Inside all this mess, there are nuggets of wisdom you're determined to find. It's like, either it helps you clear the way for this specific relationship, or it just makes you a healthier human, which is a win win situation.

However for what's going against you, I think you still have a tendency to put the blame on others instead of understanding that the current situation is your doing. If you're unsatisfied with the pace of things, you have choices. You can either wait and find peace in that, or move on to pursue something else. Whatever it is, don't wallow in misery because you feel frustrated and let resentment boil within you against your person, yourself, or the situation. What I'm trying to say is that you're refusing to make the call and pick a path to follow with determination, and instead you keep going back and forth in your head and creating a terrible emotional state for yourself. If you keep waiting for a sign in a passive and hopeless way, things will not change.

For what to take in in this situation, I see the need for a big wake up call with the Tower. I know this card has a bad rep but I think here it's mostly an indication of the intensity of the shift you need to do. It is paired with the Knight of Wands which is a clear indication that you need to take the reign and pursue what you want, taking a risk that things might collapse as a result. Welcome illusions being stripped away, let go of lies and take the risk to reveal your true self.

I asked for a clarification and got the 8 of Swords, which shines light on this state you need to wake up from: the fact that you keep yourself in a state of powerlessness when you have the means to cut your bonds. Really, this state of stagnancy is your doing and you need to own up to the fact and get out of that hole. Whatever you decide to do, you need to shake things up drastically and take a more active part in your love life.

What you need to release with the Sun, I get the idea that you're a bit too childish and immature when it comes to love matters, or at least in this situation. The card shows a child on a horse, but unlike the knight of wands who is in full control of his mount, the sun-child is merely waving his arms around and not doing much. It looks quite comical and does not embody a serious partner one might want to pursue. So I'm getting again the idea of the need to be more serious and committed, and releasing this naive mindset that things are going to fall on your lap without you doing anything at all.

For the most probably outcome in this situation, with the Four of Wands I was drawn to look up the astrological correspondence of the card and I got Venus in Aries, which is quite funny since Venus is currently in Aries until April 29th 2024 (writing this on the 23rd). I don't necessarily think this means everyone will find an outcome within the next few days, however, it does point out at changes happening presently, or as a direct result of this Venus in Aries season. Which again puts the idea of acting and stop wasting time.

It's also fun because it points at a very fiery approach to love, much like what the Knight of Wands was suggesting. Instead of worrying whether they love you or not, whether you should move on or not, you're being advised to go and find out. With the 4 of Wands as this placement in the tarot, there is an idea of celebration and coming together. The characters on the card are inviting, as if to welcome you in their circle, or hinting at a festive event or a gathering. A positive outcome is definitely possible, and if not, it's the opportunity to move on from heartache and find a better future with your heart unburdened.

The underlying energy is presented by the Ace of Cups, which definitely speaks of an exciting time for romantic feelings, where feelings are being birthed and coming to light. There is opportunity for a renewal in this connection.

PILE 2

Cards: The Devil, the Lovers, the Queen of Swords, Ace of Swords, 8 of Wands, 9 of Cups, the Fool 10 of Cups, 2 of Wands, 6 of Swords, 3 of Cups, 3 of Wands

We'll start by looking at your current situation regarding your love life.

With the Devil as you current situation, it is possible that you're crushing on someone or are in a non-committed relationship with someone that is loaded with sexual energy. However, it also points at an obsessive dynamic in the relationship which fosters an unhealthy atmosphere. It is clarified by the Lovers and the Queen of Swords, so I think there might be someone in this relationship hoping for love, and someone with their walls up, appearing cold and distant, even if there is physical intimacy at play here. It's also possible that the one interested in committed love doesn't respect their own boundaries and let themselves being stringed along.

As to what's going for you, I see you embracing clarity and the desire to cut through bullshit at this point. A part of you wants to reach the truth of this situation and is willing to think about it deeply. Get your sense of agency back by either communicating your needs and fears or by taking the time by yourself to work on that. It's clarified by the 8 of Wands so I see quick communication, heated arguments perhaps but it's for the best because you need to get to the core of the issue.

For what's going against you, I see you clinging onto the good aspects of this relationship, as in, it's not perfect but there's enough pleasurable aspects to it that you don't want to let go of that. You're protective of what you have and I also see you being a bit too carefree by pretending the negative aspects of this situation don't affect you that much, that everything is find and good, even though it isn't. You might be a bit of a hopeless romantic and you just don't want to see that this situation is not bringing you the true happiness that you seek but rather putting you in a unstable and potentially threatening situation. I don't know how to put it but with this + the Devil as significator for this relationship I get toxic vibes from this, but that you're too addicted to it to really snap out of it.

What you need to take in is shown by the 10 of Cups, and I think here it means that you need to find hope again that you're deserving of true and untainted happiness in matters of love. This card is about commitment and romantic, even familial fulfillment, and I think it's important to remember that if that's what you want then you can't settle for less because then you'll never get what your heart truly desires. This card is here to remind you of your dream, stop settling for less and suffocating your true wish.

You need to release your hope that the situation will solve itself without making a choice. I get the idea that you keep imagining how things could be, or would be if X or Y happened, but you're not taking the necessary step towards your wish.

All of this is highlighted by the general energy of the reading, which is all about going back to decision making after a time of hesitation. It's going to be your role to know which decision you need to make and how though, but you need to leave the harbor at some point.

For the outcome of this situation, I see you moving on to better days, letting go of this situation that doesn't fulfill you and going through a very social phase where you're going to either form new connections, or get back in touch with friends and celebrate your newfound freedom. It seems this decision of moving on will bring you a lot more happiness than sorrow. Yes it is painful to let go, but you have much to gain, and seeking different social interactions will help you feel better and get back on track. Perhaps it would help to find the humor in the situation and have fun gossiping about this relationship with your friends in order to vent and get another perspective.

PILE 3

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, the Fool, 3 of Cups, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords rx, 9 of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, Temperance, 10 of Swords, the High Priestess, 9 of Swords

First off, let's look at your current love life.

For this pile, I don't think there is anyone specific in the picture for you. I see two possible situations depending on the people. Some of you might have experienced a breakup and are now in your new chapter, having left behind that situation and being past that; for others, I see you waiting for a relationship to show up eventually like some big turn of events. In both cases, you have a very open and carefree attitude right now, enjoying the moment and I get the idea that you might be enjoying casual sex as well, for some of you at least. In any case, you are currently not bound to anyone.

For what's going for you, I see you being social, meeting new people or enjoying time with friends. You're just enjoying yourself and your freedom and it's what you feel called to do right now. It seems you really needed to go through that phase in order to feel happier with yourself and find your balance again.

For what's going against you, I see the idea of casual, or at least, superficial connections showing up once more. You might also not be super ready to get into a committed relationship at the moment because you still feel the need to enjoy your freedom and have either multiple partners, or you just want to enjoy your social life without having to compromise or divide the limited time you have in your hands for one person only. I also see that you lack clarity on what you want. Is a committed relationship really what you want, or do you want to keep what you have right now? And if a relationship is what you want, what would it look like? I think you need to take some time reflecting on what romantic happiness looks like to you to see if it aligns with what you're doing.

For what you need to welcome in, there is a message here of reminding yourself that love is not just about sex and intensity, but also about sweetness and complicity. Looking up to your partner because you find them incredible, because they make you feel like a giggly child you can be your true self with. I also see the need to value true and deep emotional connection. There is a need to be the guardian of your fulfillment, not in a warroir-like way, but rather, in a nurturing way. Be the gardener that takes care of their blooming plants with love and care, and by that I mean that you need to put in the energy of what you want to harvest in the future, not just what's easily available in the moment. You also need to be more independent and advocate for your needs.

It's is very important to make way before you can receive anything new. Which means that you need to get clear on what it is that you truly want and release what doesn't align with that. Perhaps you're also quite detached and would benefit from getting in touch with your deeper emotions again. I think you've somewhat been hiding your heavier emotions inside and ignoring them for a while now and that might be what needs to be released.

For outcome, I think there is a deep need for realizing the options you have to choose from regarding your love life, and really take a look at what you truly want. I think this very social phase will come to an end for now, that you will be more focused on yourself and your inner world. This may trigger intense negative feelings that you were ignoring up until now because you were distracting yourself from them. You may need to hit the bottom before you can rise again, but fear not because from there, the only way to go is up. Learn to look for answers within, I think this time has the opportunity to teach you a lot about yourself and help your grow as a person and to gain clarity on your life.

I also wanted to note that there is a striking lack of Wands in this reading, which to me indicates that the main point of work in your situation is not so much taking actions, but processing thoughts and emotions to get clear on what you want and how to get there. A time for self reflection and growth is coming up.

[wrtingsoftheunknown]

Vincent Sinclair HC

Vincent Sinclair hc SFW and NSFW

I’ve haven’t  been seeing my boy get repped recently so I have to do it myself. My first time writing something on here or towards this character ,I promise I will get better y'al,l I made this super quickly not proofread oops.

SFW

-While he can be insecure about his face he definitely has an ego from being the favorite child and having perfected his craft.

Lester drags him out to go for a ride around town or force him to come to his place for some quality brother time (Bo joins every now and then but wants peace and quiet dammit )

‘I know a lot of people have him learn sign language but I think he either writes what he wants to say, speaks as best as he can, or gestures, ( he was born in the south to parents that I don't think cared about communicating with him too much but he could have picked it up later in life maybe in his teen years or middle school era)

More sadistic than Bo when it comes to killing, he doesn't care if they are dead or alive when working on them and takes satisfaction in the result of his work

He prefers to work in silence but you can catch him humming now and then some country song or a guilty pleasure pop song from the 80’s( I see you Vince)

I think he partakes in multiple forms of art besides wax work.We see he’s able to paint, draw, but he also  takes pictures, , sews, writes, makes videos, anything artistic he’s learning and keeping up with new techniques.

Since he takes video of the killings at times I think they sell them as snuff films to make extra cash on top of stealing and selling victims stuff. (At least that’s what I thought when I first watched the film anyone else or just me)

Rarely happens but will keep victims that interest him like Bo ,but dispose of them when they get boring  or no longer match up the ideal version of them in his head.

-Does want a lifelong partner, the white wedding and picket fence, kids,  but knows it might be difficult with the line of work he does.

- He can talk but only does when it’s important or to emphasize something. He does have a southern draw like Bo and I imagine his voice to sound similar but raspier, maybe deeper/ quieter from not using it as much.

-like I said earlier you have to really catch his attention and be able to hold it for more than a week, if that happens then he’s obsessed and protective maybe a little too over protective.

Does indeed have a hair care routine I believe this full throttle and no one can can tell me otherwise I'm not listening.

NSFW

I don't know if he’s a virgin, I don't think he is something is telling me he isn't, but i’m not sure

He has no problem with nudity, bodies are seen as art, there's not as much of a sexual connotation with them as with Bo and Lester .

He wants to be in love with the person he is intimate with, he wants to be worship and worship his muse.

Drawings  of his partner naked as well as in the midst of a passionate night, he might tease them all night to make sure the sketch is as life like and accurate as possible

Good size and thick that's all I gotta say

Praise kink hard core, hearing his partner call him a good boy or how he makes them feel so good he will crumble

He starts slow and sensual, enjoys the control he has and having someone at his power.

I think he will edge you and leave you high and dry when you act out but he always caves by the end of the day and gives you what you need.

Can last a long time surprisingly

Mainly a giver but someone please for the love of god give this man the nastiest had he’s ever received will make the prettiest noises 

Is down to try anything new and more open about sex than you would think.

When he’s horny he comes up behind his partner and starts caressing every inch he can reach, while resting his chin on their shoulder acting as innocent as he can.

[transgymbro]

Do you have any advice for overcoming the insecurities about not being able to lift as much as my cis gym partner? I just started taking weights class in my school for PE credit, and I've never really lifted before so I can't lift very much. We got put in groups of 2-3 because there's a limited number of equipment and so we can have a spotter, so I work out with the same guy every day. He's also new to this, but he can do way more than I can. My max for squats is 85, his is 95. For bench, he can do 85, but I can only do 55 and when I tried 65 I almost dropped the bar and he had to save me. I know everyone is different and my masculinity is not dependent on what I can physically do, but I still feel insecure. I keep trying to lift weights that are heavier than I probably should, and I think my form is suffering because of it and I'm worried I'm going to hurt myself. I also get injured pretty often from skating so I'm not always able to do all the exercises because I twisted my ankle or whatever, which means I'm not getting all the benefits I could be. I really want to both get stronger physically and have more visible muscles, especially in the arms and chest area because I think it will help me pass better. I recently started testosterone and I'm hoping that will help, but I don't know how long it will take. I hope this isn't too personal, and you don't have to answer unless you're comfortable with it, but are you on T and if so did it help? Sorry for the long rambly ask, I just feel like you might understand better than the people I know in real life

Rest assured, friend, just because you can't lift those numbers right now doesn't mean you won't catch up in the future.

What might help your insecurity is reminding yourself that you will catch up, and that injuring yourself by doing too much now is only going to slow your progress.

Yes I am on T, and have been for over 2 years now, but I had already been lifting a year by the time I started T and had some pretty decent numbers too (75 lb goblet squat, 120 lb leg press, wasn't really doing too much in the way of squats or bench press at this point due to wanting to be super careful).

The thing is with T is that it takes about 6 months of consistent doses for the muscle growth to kick in. And that's after you and your doctor find the dose that works for you.

Was T helpful when it finally did kick in? Yeah. But I also don't know how much of my progress came from T and how much came from long term consistency and hard work.

If you want to increase your strength, I've heard it's best to go for higher weight, less reps, but without sacrificing form too much. Make sure you're listening to your body and knowing the difference between good pain (muscle strain of the targeted muscles) and bad pain (really painful, doesn't feel right, etc). Increase your protein intake too. If you need to, you can modify an exercise or do a different one that hits the same muscles to make it easier on any injuries you might have.

Feel free to reach out if you have any further questions, and good luck!

[thinplacesradio]

a snowy, tree-lined residential street, lit by a yellow streetlamp on the right and and the warm glow from the houses. the image is distorted by VCR static. white text reads:

[025] THE FRIEND. A CALLER REACHES OUT. THE HOST HEADS HOME.

listen here, or anywhere you find your podcasts. transcript under the cut:

[static, radio tuning]

[Traveling Sales Rep: Don’t touch that dial! We’ll be right back, after these short messages.] [static, radio tuning]

[click]

Hello and welcome to Thin Places Radio. I’m your host,

and it is the middle of the night. But don’t worry. You’re not alone.

[Thin Places theme] 

[soft street noises] [crickets]

I’m coming to you one foot in front of the other from my studio, which is what I like to call the darkened street with the careful orange glow of street lights rising up above and around you as you walk home from your shift, wired headphones trailing down from your ears. Your hands are in your coat pockets. You didn’t turn any music on before you left, but you’re not gonna do it now, either. There’s something about the moment that it doesn’t seem like you can interrupt. 

You’ve been at this job for a month, now, and you’re starting to feel like you’ll never get the hang of it. Every time you clock out, your head’s too full, and your neck is too sore. But you’re telling yourself a lie. Not that you mean to. It seems true right now, on this street corner, as you hurry across to the other side. But it isn’t. 

[owl hooting]

Everybody feels like this at the start of something new, even if it’s exciting, and even if you’re good at it. [crow cawing] Your hands will become surer. Things will become second nature. You’ll be the person the next new person asks for help, and you’ll help them. I promise. It’s all already happened. 

So… what is Thin Places Radio? Well, you can call in about anything strange that you’ve got going on in your life - feelings, omens, premonitions, hauntings.

Are you having relationship trouble?

Have you been feeling lost in a big city? 

Have you felt the presence of your lost loved ones near you? 

When the veil between worlds is thin, we get closer than ever to the strange and the unexplained - but also to each other. Call in, get it off your chest. Lines are open.

[click] [voicemail:]

Hey, long time listener, first time caller. I don't really have a story. I just wanted to maybe ask a question. I recently moved, and I'm from the deep South, a very very small City, and I moved to a much bigger city far away. More people than I've ever really been around in my whole life, if I’m being honest. And if I'm being honest, I don't really have many friends here, and I've never felt more alone. But your voice is very comforting, and you seem so nice, and I'm - I guess I was wondering if we could be friends? That's all. Thank you. My name’s Adrian, by the way, and I hope that we can call each other friends. Thank you.

[click] 

Hi, caller, thank you for listening, and for picking up the phone to finally call in. I could use a friend, too, these days, even though sometimes it doesn’t feel like I remember how to be one, with all these gaps in the person that I used to be. But there are ways to introduce yourself even when you don’t know your own name, or where you came from. 

Hi, Adrian, I’m talking to you as all the people that I used to be, but forgot. I’m talking to you as myself. [searching music] I like Doritos, but I hate jerky. I love what I do, even when it’s hard, and I know that I’m heading somewhere, because I’m trying to do it. I love listening to these calls, and I love you, too. 

Everybody feels like this at the start of something new, even when it’s exciting. Everybody feels like this, but nobody feels it exactly like you do, right now, what you brought with you on purpose from where you came from and what you left behind, and what you tried to leave behind but brought with you, by accident, because you didn’t know how not to. 

You say you recently moved, and I want to tell you that time will help ease the loneliness, because I think that it will. But you’ll also have to do what you’ve done, right now, with me - reach out to somebody else. And you’ll have to do it over and over. But people will reach back. I promise. There will be a voice on the radio when you need it. And on your voicemail, and at work, and at the park, and in a hundred other places, too. 

And you’ll still feel that loneliness press up against you like the crowds do. You’ll bring that with you, too. That’s okay. There’s something in that feeling that tells us how to be human, too. I think I know that best of all. 

I’m so happy to call you my friend, Adrian - and I know so many other people will be, too. I know they already are. 

[click]

There is a crane fly somewhere in the garage , buzzing its large, ungainly body against the floorboards, the lights, when someone happens to turn them on. The crane fly, unlike the human, is a child its entire life - months or years - and an adult for just a few weeks. It will live in this garage for six more days. It will die on a shelf beside a dusty hammer without passing along its line. It will not consider this a failure because it does not know how. To a human being, it is a week’s nuisance. To the crane fly, it is everything. There is something beautiful in its spindly awkwardness, if you look. Please, notice it while you can. It won’t hurt you. Watch it fly. 

[crane fly buzzes]

[click] [footsteps crunching]

When you turn the corner onto your own street, tonight, the image strikes you like you’re seeing it for the first time, even though you’ve lived here for a while. You’ve seen this collection of buildings, the small tree fighting its way up, the signs in your neighbor’s window. But something about the way the moon shines over all of it, the wind stirring around your collar, makes you stop to look at it. [footsteps pause] To say, I'm going to take a picture here, in my mind, so I can remember it when I’ve left. The shadows across the street. The red brick. The cluster of irises growing… up -

The - 

Oh. Iris. [breath in] Iris… I know that name. I remember it.  

I don’t think it’s mine. But it’s somebody’s. Maybe a friend. 

[footsteps start again] [click]

Thank you for listening, callers, and thank you for calling, listeners. I hope you feel a little bit lighter. I know I do. As always, our number is 717.382.8093. That’s 717.382.8093. Until next time. I’ll be here.

[static] [Traveling Sales Rep: visit us at the - diner just off -] [Various Garbled Voices: the - road - provides - the - road - provides -]

Thin Places Radio is a podcast written by Kristen O’Neal and produced by Kaitlin Bruder. The voice of Your Host is Kristen O’Neal.

Tonight’s voicemail was left for us by Adrian. Editing and sound design are by Kaitlin Bruder, and the music tracks you heard in tonight’s episode are: the Thin Places theme, by Miles Morkri, and Umeed by RANA. If you have a question to ask, a story to tell, or a suggestion for the host, give us a call at ‪(717) 382-8093. The lines are always open.

[Thin Places Theme outro]

[luckylolabug]

Tagged by the lovely @starwritingbri <3 <3 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 17, after I yoinked some down. We won't talk about how many WIPs I have that aren't posted haha.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 150,958

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Uhh, multifandom girlie here so. Lockwood & Co, the DCU, Yuri on Ice, I currently have a folder of Six of Crows stuff getting ready for Whumptober but they're not posted yet, sometimes I one off and write stuff for Star Wars or TAZ: Balance. Ive got a big project going for Heartstopper that isnt posted yet, and I have a secondary account for MHA stuff lol. Also some joint stuff for FMA with Bri eventually!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In So Many Words- Yuri!!! on Ice

Sorry, This Page Cannot Be Reached- Yuri!!! on Ice

Slow Dancing in the Dark- Lockwood and Co

Barrels and Bootlegging- Lockwood and Co

Shimmer in the Haze of Winter Lawns- Lockwood and Co

5. Do you respond to comments?

For the most part, yes! I can get behind on them a bit, but I do try and keep up with them because the support is important to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write a TON of angst??? But I want to say Heaven is Not Fit to House a Love Like You and I just for the context. Ask me again once I get my Whumptober stuff up in October and that's going to change, though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of the stuff I write has happy endings! It's hard to pick just one?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately. Weirdly, most of the fandoms I've dabbled in that have reps for being "the worst" have been the nicest to me as far as fics go, but I've gotten some very nasty comments on things for certain fandoms that don't have that kind of reputation. Fan culture is weird. I wish I could say it doesnt affect me buuuuut. There's a reason I stepped back from writing so much L&C and tend to drift with other fandoms more now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have a few times, and I'm not like. Directly opposed to it? But it's not really my Jam a good 99% of the time and honestly I prefer just keeping most of my stuff Fade to Black or vague and not in depth if it comes up. I like focusing more on other stuff, but I don't think smut is bad either!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not as far as I'm aware. I have like. Some AU type stuff thats "This world but with these characters" but its not a direct crossover where the characters from multiple universes interact. I guess unless youre counting the DCU as a whole but??? Lol?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To my knowledge, no? But it could have been, I guess.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! But I'd be cool with it! My mom helps me with Spanish in a few things for the Heartstopper project I have going since she's fluent, but those are just a few lines.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not anything POSTED, but eventually that'll change!

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

Y'all, I am in too many fandoms for this lol. I don't know that I even HAVE an all-time fav that shoots above the rest? I have favs in fandoms, but not as a whole????

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Uhhhhh. Probably Barrels and Bootlegging??? I hate even putting this out there but fandom politics and the amount of BS just was draining the hell out of me when I was working on stuff so I don't even really have any plans to go back to finishing any of my stuff for L&C at this point. I'm happier writing other places, right now!

16. What are your writing strengths?

uHHHHHH???? Bri says its details, so I guess that? Putting details into everything?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

All of them. LOL. No, but honestly, I struggle with the editing process most because I think I end up re-writing things a good 5 or 6 times before I decide its fine and even then I struggle after stuff is posted just because I want to try so hard to keep things cohesive and correct. I spend way too much time Googling shit that shouldnt even really matter, but the small things matter to ME.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

The only thing I've really done it with is throwing in some stuff in Spanish, and I was only okay with that because my mom is fluent and offered to look it over for me to make sure it was correct. Otherwise I'm like.....Google Translate is inaccurate a lot and the idea of putting something in a fic that could be WRONG freaks the hell out of my OCD and I can't do it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh, jeez. Uhh. Honestly it was either ATLA or the Halo games? I don't fucking know, it was pretty mid 2000s. I still have my log in for FF.net and LiveJ but I dont really want to go look because Im sure I'll hate it.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This feels like a shit answer because it's not POSTED YET. But I really have been eating up everything I've written so far for this "Six of Crows but make it Modern" thing thats sitting at about 40k words right now. So probably that??? If its one that I have POSTED, then I think it's probably one of the 5+1s I did for Yuri on Ice just because those were really fun and light. I'm TERRIBLE at tagging people so uh. @fluffypinkkitties @twiilys and @chibiosaka I guess????

[flagbridge]

Shows I saw in 2023 Part 6: Phantom London (3 shows, 3 Casts, AMA)

Listen, originally it started with going once. Then another friend wanted to go another night. Then I thought if I gambled with matinee Rush seats I might get a different cast. Turns out I was right.

Tues 10/10: Jon Robyns/Eve Shanu-Wilson/Joe-Griffiths Brown

Weds 10/11: James Gant/Lily Kerhoas/Joe

Thurs 10/12: Jon/Lily/Joe

I hit the jackpot. Also shoutout to the whole crew on Thursday night when the stage lost power right before final lair and they had to pause the show for five minute to get the stage set.

Some overall thoughts after the cutline:

Lily is the best Christine I have ever seen live, hands down. She is also the strongest (even stronger than Emilie Kouatchou). She is damn near calling a lot of the shots. Some ways: she locks the door between "Things have changed, Raoul" and "Insolent Boy". She does NOT want Raoul coming back. She is seemingly delighted to hear the "voice" and is very willing going through the mirror. On the travelator during the title track she actually goes ahead of Phantom by several feet like "so we're going to your place, right?". During AIAOY, she pulls away from Raoul during her first verse and her body language is telling him "Say you love me" is her giving her terms and conditions. During PONR after she feels Phantoms' mask and he pulls away from her she's the one putting his hands on her waist and pressing herself against him like "ahem, you started this fire and now I'm going to pour some gasoline on it. "

Between Eve and Lily, Eve is very good but Lily is so exceptional that she's far and away better. The key difference is Eve's Christine is much more fearful and tentative. For example, during STYDI, once Christine is on the floor, Eve is turned away from Phantom the entire time. Lily is facing him the entire time. Both Phantoms briefly show his whole face again, and then she reacts, which is followed by the "Oh Christine". With Eve, she yelps. With Lily, they're so close it looks like they're about to kiss. Lily gasps. During PONR, Eve's Christine is much more tentative and fearful. Lily's is into it. In both of them, the Phantoms are taking Christine off the stage to get her out of danger (they both have two guns pointed at them right before this)

Jon vs James. Tough one. Jon by a hair BUT Gantom's chemistry with Christine is palpable and off the charts. They are both phenomenal. It's hard to choose. Gant is going on so much right now that he's basically an alternate at this point, so he's getting in the reps and sets to really make the role his own and develop chemistry with the Christines. I think I liked Jon just slightly more but he's also the last person I saw. If I saw Gantom again I might say he's my favorite.

Vocally, both of them manage to achieve the ghost-like, floaty phantom who brings the power when it matters, and make very subtle changes with their breath control to convey emotion (especially when pleading with Christine). They are both very sad and desperate Phantoms, but James Gant has a sweetness to his that I think is very interesting to watch. He's the only Phantom that has ever made me cry before final lair. He holds his heart during the AIAOY reprise and then does it again during final lair (the only thing I don't like is Gant is a "daddying gaze" Phantom, and I despise the fathering line--Robyns does far-reaching). Jon does this thing during AIAOY where he is hitting his ears (he does not do it during Final Lair). His crying during final lair is also exceptionally realistic and desperate.

Again on the combo: Lily and Jon both do a thing after the kiss where they are both touching their lips trying to figure wtf just happened and what they're feeling. Jon is the one to break the kiss and Christine damn nearly needs to be dragged out of the lair. But...Lily/James MOTN was so sensual I was like...do we need to ask the children in the audience to leave? I think she still has a father/daughter relationship with Jon from their time in Les Miz

Joe Griffiths-Brown is a wonderful singer and plays Raoul as a arrogant puppy. However, I wasn't really getting any chemistry between him and any of the Christines. He's still a little wooden but I think he's going to continue to develop in the role.

I had Grace Hume as u/s Meg. I hesitate to say anything negative here, but her singing is noticeably lackluster to the point that it's distracting. I hoped maybe she had a bad day on Tuesday but it was the same every time.

I stagedoored the last night and met Lily, Joe, and James. They were all kind and gracious!

[druid-for-hire]

Hi. I'm so sorry for bothering you:c but I really need all the help I can get. I have a chronic heart condition that doesn't allow me to work my regular hours. Things got serious pretty fast and suddenly, I wasn't able to pay rent. I got evicted 10 days ago, and I'm trying to raise funds to pay off what I owe to my landlord and avoid getting sued, and hopefully find a little place while I get back on my feet.

You think you could help me reblogging my pinned post to spread the word a bit? Thank you so much in advance. And I'm truly, very sorry for having to recur to this.

For other people's sakes, this is their pinned post. I took a scroll through their blog and they don't appear to be a bot; the blog goes a decent way back and posts semi-regularly.

My kind friend, Tumblr is not a good place to crowdfund. It works sometimes, but not reliably. (EDIT: Redacted a bit about reddit boards. They exist, but they need a lot of prerequisites.) In the event that you haven't been able to go looking yet, there are likely also real life, more local, more direct resources out there to help you hidden out of sight. There's a post on this topic, but I'll cut for you the relevant parts (paging through the notes will also probably be useful):

From @/euphoniousracouter:

GO TO, MESSAGE, OR CALL YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY. Libraries are focusing more and more on community resources, support, and outreach. If you genuinely don’t know something or feel uncertain or are in a new situation, a reference librarian will not only help you sort your thoughts through their reference interview but then help you arm yourself with knowledge from reliable and often local sources. It doesn’t even have to be a question to Ask A Librarian. You can simply say “I’m in this situation now. I don’t know what to do next./I’m not confident I know everything I should or want to know.”

From @/dancinbutterfly:

If you're in America, 211 is your friend. It’s the United Way’s database of social assistance resources. When I was doing resource development for my masters in social work 211 was my holy grail. And there’s things that only workers know about that just calling and asking can reach cuz it sets off the social service phone tree. I will say YOU have to be persistent of you want to access these resources. Most of the ngo agencies are most interested in helping the pro-active clients in my experience. But do use the resources. They’re golden.

From @/macaronsandfries:

Also, if you’re in the US: call your State Rep. Part of their job is to help constituents access and navigate state run programs, such as EBT/SNAP, unemployment, housing assistance, and medicaid.

Not all offices are equally responsive (some try really hard to stay on top of incoming calls but are overwhelmed, and some…are not great at checking messages, tbh). But if you can get through to a person (almost always an aide/staffer), they will talk through the issue with you and do what they can to help.

You don’t need to know what programs are applicable to you, they’ll help connect you with appropriate people (including Federal programs if necessary – those offices are hard to get through to, but if you need something like Federal ID docs changed, see if going through your State Rep helps move things along)

afaik some of these are sadly not as immediate as these emergencies tend to be, but they're out there, and hopefully these help. Crowdfunding is still an answer that you have a right to take. Good luck and be well.

[norcani]

3, 9 and 16 for the book ask?

answers under the cut

3. What were your top five books of the year? Oh man , I'm gonna only include novels in this, since I have a hard time ranking them along with short story collections or nonfiction.

Hangsaman by Shirley Jackson I honestly am so afraid of when I will run out of novels by her. Each one has been a new fave and I wouldn't even be rank them amongst themselves. Hangasaman is a really weird book and I don't know that I understand the intentions behind it, but even so just on a sentence by sentence base it's so cleverly written. I'm surprised that this book hasn't risen to prominence again with the popularity of crazy women literature, but perhaps it's too vague and depressing? Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters Another author I don't wish to be out of novels to read of! Although in this case she is allegedly still writing. I was not particularly looking forward to this one as I had watched the bbc miniseries long ago, and while I enjoyed it at the time it seemed a straightforward enough story that I didn't think the novel would add much beyond Sarah Waters' beautiful writing. Well apparently they completely changed the last third of the book which I had disliked in the series but now I read the book, the book version is my favorite bit by far! It ties everything up beautifully, and honestly Nan's arc just doesn't work without it. You can't cut the conclusion from a coming of age narrative! I imagine it was changed because of how political it is.

Also shoutout to nan for genuinely thinking she invented being a butch lesbian for most of the book. Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir Yes well I got converted.... You see enough about this on your dash I got nothing to say. Turning the Storm by Naomi Kritzer This duology is incredible and it's as if no one knows of it. This is the 2nd book in it, I read both this year but I liked the 2nd one better because the first one has a somwhat slow beginning. People will ask for revolutionary fantasy, fantasy with lesbian leads, fantasy with butch leads , but here it is! It's here! It exists! has since 2003 apparently! The way these books are unknown is insane to me. The Thousand Eyes by A.K. Larkwood Another duology, this one is more recent and more well known, but not enough really. I think a lot of people were turned off because the mc is an orc? I remember early reviews saying it was bad because there was no point of the mc being an orc. Well to this I say there is no point of being a book reviewer if that's your issue. She's cool, her gf is cool, getting possessed by malevolent gods is cool. I love the world in this and I hope the author will return to the setting even if the mcs story is completed.

9 Did you get into any new genres? I already answered before that I started reading more short fiction which was already a reach. I'm trying really hard to think of a 2nd answer. Oh, I read a biography, which I don't think I ever read before. It wasn't even a pop science-y one, more academic (the pdf I read had notes scribbled..) so I was surprised what an easy and fun read it was: Wu Zhao: China's Only Woman Emperor by N. Harry Rothschild, Peter N. Stearns By now I don't remember what inspired me to pick this up, but it was fun! I didn't read any other biographies afterwards though so probably not really getting into a new genre.

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year? I'm in Love with the Villainess by inori oh my god, I didn't even dislike this, it was fun enough and I did read the 3 volume main story. But I dunno what others have read because this was not worthy of all that praise l saw. I know it's a light novel but that's not an excuse, plenty light novels have decent writing, or failing that, writing that reads like a coherent narrative instead of a rough placeholder draft. And people who praise the trans rep in this are beyond me, like its nice trans characters exist at all in a yuri story (even though its convoluted magic trans stuff instead of a character just being trans but lets set that aside), but the way people talk over it youd think theyre actual characters with personalities, no the weird straight incest siblings get more lines than the trans character, come on.

I still enjoyed it, it was a fun turn your brain off kinda story, but nothing more. It likely will work better as an anime. The reactions TO the books though make no sense.

[nathank77]

11/27/24

2:32 p.m

I went to the gym and i did leg day and abs. My neck and back hurt.. from this morning when I woke up... 100% not from the gym... I must have slept in a poor position.... I wanted to do upper body machines but my forearm is still a little sore and bc of my sleeping position I didn't want to push myself. I'll do it Friday. I am a little worried about my left forearm... not terribly worried but I mean it still hurts... I know i got to take arm day easier and I'm adjusting. I just hope by Friday it's completely healed so I can take it easier and try something different. Otherwise I might have to go on my 13 years on testosterone date aka Saturday or even Sunday. Imma go when I can bc i care more about my upper body. I think i got to cut it to 3 workouts per muscle and I may be fine but I'll see results less quickly.. maybe eventually do 4. Idk. I think it's my bicep workout. Specifically one of them but Idk.

I had a shitty night of sleep. A really shitty night of sleep. I THINK i fell asleep before my sleep timer and then woke up before it turned off. I still can't distinguish entirely when I fall asleep unless hours go by...

I fell back to sleep. Or fell asleep. Idk. I woke up a lot or had microsleep dreams and woke up a lot idk. I do think i got 7 hours though.

My hallucination is driving me crazy per usual but its whatever it's my life and it's awful.

I might shave today bc of Thanksgiving tomorrow just to look nice. I shaved on Sunday I dont really need to but by tomorrow I'll look worse. I'm just not feeling doing it.. I got to work up to it and showering.. I don't really sweat at the gym anymore but today I actually did a little during my new ab workouts.

I did 7 out of 9 of the leg machines. I increased weight on the ones I could. I only did one of the ones that feel wrong bc of my crooked knees.... but I can't do more than 10 pounds on that one... prob bc of my crooked knees... I'm actually at 40-50 pounds on all the other machines.. comfortably... doing 15 to 20 reps and 3 sets. But on that machine I can only do 10 pounds and about 10 reps. I got to prob trash that one...

I did calve raises.. I was able to complete 3 sets with 5 pounds dumbbells on each side. God they hurt but it felt effective and I had to replace the calve machine they have cause that one feels very wrong and like I don't know how to do it right. I also did the glute bridge. Boy that one hurt but I liked it.

I did 4 or 3 ab workouts. One machine counted in that total. I had to increase weight bc 30 reps is a lot. But I still did 25 anyways.... so I mean maybe i got to go up idk..

The three others I did or two depending on how you look at it was the heel touches i increased reps substantially... it hurt but I got far. I tried the bicycle crunches... I got a lot of reps and I'm about 99% positive i did them right. They hurt my abs that's for sure. I liked it but it was hard..

The one that I'm not sure about is called the v-up. Why didn't I count it 100% well I would lift my legs up and my back and be able to touch my shins... but I couldn't touch my toes. I couldn't get my back up off the floor. Nonetheless i was able to do many reps and I really fucking felt it in my abs. That's when I started sweating. I'm going to call it a stretch. I prob won't try it again. I did do 3 sets. Of like 20 each. I mean it wasn't a v-up bc you got to crunch on to your back/butt while you lift your legs and reach to your toes. I was able to hit my shins but I'm not joking I could not get my back off the floor. I hope I didn't make a mistake doing it but it felt effective. It was kinda like a lying leg lifts with shins touches. Some weird stretching.

I'm feeling very depressed about my life and about my list of things to do. And I'm just overwhelmed about tomorow. And I hope my forearm is 100% by Friday. I didn't like fuck it up but I mean it could put me out of commission until Monday... if I want to play it safe and I do. So it's frustrating.

[period-of-nocturne]

Not wanted to have people treating you kindly on purpose, huh...

I can understand that. The thought of people not acting naturally around me always makes me sick. People who tries to hard to adapt to me as well I'm sorry to every people pleaser who ever crossed my path.

It's like... People just aren't themselves around you. They don't act naturally. And you can feel it. And it feels extremely wrong.

The thought of people shaping their behaviour around me is really not a comfortable one.

I don't know how much I can understand the trans layer of that, though.

Unless... As a NB person, the "I just want people to see my as a human being but society won't let me have it" mood is very very big. That's the closest I can get.

I know it's trailing off from the trans experience, but I think ND/disabled people can get it as well. Wanting to be perceived as yourself and treated like a normal person, but people will walk on eggshells and try too hard to be kind to the point it's becoming embarrassing.

I love how Mizuki is not only peak transfem rep, but also so relatable in so many aspect as her own person and how she inspires so many people.

Technically that's also why she's a really well written representation. Because she's more than her identity/label. She's a person. With feelings. And you can relate to those feelings without fully understanding/living the same experience she does. It makes her so human.

It's all Mizuki want, being perceived as her own person. Not having her existence treated as a social experiment, a political statement. Not being put in a box that says "different from others."

She's just a girl.

In totally deviated from my initial intent already.

Back on tracks.

If there is one person in Niigo who will never pretend to be kind to Mizuki, it's Mafuyu.

Not that Kanade or Ena would. But unlike Mafuyu, they could. Kanade is always kind and thoughtful. Ena can be very soft sometimes. Mizuki knows that. She knows and she would overthink each time it's directed towards her. Because the thought of that kindness being forced/fake/a form of pity is plausible to them.

Mafuyu never does that at all. Not with Niigo.

It's the only place where she never hide a thought. Never force herself to act kind. She says whatever she thinks, for better or to Ena's dismay.

And even despite the irrational size their fear had taken, I think Mizuki can figure that.

I won't be surprised if Mafuyu end up being the first one to reach Mizuki. (Aside Meiko. And maybe other VS. Obviously.)

If someone can shake that fear out of Mizuki, even slightly, it's Mafuyu and her silly blunt words.

And it would be amazing and beautiful because then they'd both have given to eachother the opportunity to make the first step they need to do for things to change for the better. It would be amazing.

I'm not sure that's the correct wording. It's fine just all pretend you get what I mean.

Mizuki opened the door for Mafuyu to run away.

I hope Mafuyu will open to Mizuki the door to face what need to be.

I've been thinking a lot about how Niigo would react to Mizuki's secret. Ever since I knew how worried Mizuki was about it.

Kanade Yoisaki doesn't have a mean bone in her. If she grew one, it would be do heavy that her body would break to it's weight. Girl isn't made to handle strong negative feelings. Kanade exist with the will to save and protect and love people. Even confused, she'll try her best to understand.

Mafuyu "I break down when I'm called good girl" Asahina. Mafuyu "I keep my hair long but doesn't take care of them. It's highly likely I just keep them because mom said so." Asahina. Mafuyu "I want to be a nurse (fem job to society's eyes) but my Mom insists I become a doctor (masc job to society's eyes)" Asahina. Mafuyu "I don't know who I am or what I want" Asahina.

Mafuyu is the personifications of identity issues. It obviously overlap and cross paths with gender issues. That doesn't necessarily both came as a package deal, just that the themes treated by both issues are often very similar. The like between both themes is blurry, and it's why Trans Mafuyu is such a huge headcannon. The fandom. No matter if you HC them as transfem or transmac.

Mafuyu can only be extremely confused by the concept, because... It's Mafuyu, you know. Or instinctively understand it, because of how relatable the struggle of wanting to be yourself is to her.

Ena... I don't know. But I trust she'll understand, no matter her first reaction. She's in no way a bad person. She's Momoi Airi's friend. Momoi "You're a girl, in every sense of the word." Airi. Come on.

Airi is the second character with a strong link to gender identity in the game. I have no doubts Ena is aware of it. And Ena being Ena, I also have no doubts she stranded up against anyone tried to mess with Airi on the topic, if she ever witnessed it happens.

Shinonome Ena always stands up to defend her friends and I want to trust she'll do it once again. Roast that Student A, girl. Tell them to shut their little mouth. You can do it. I believe in you.

I haven't read Mizuki5. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I'm totally off the mark. Maybe y'all already know Niigo's reaction while I'm here speculating.

But I want to tell to Mizuki Akiyama that she can trust her friends. That it will be okay. No matter how scared she is right now. Things will work out.

Unfortunately I can't go through the screen so I can only scream it in the void, shaking my phone while asking Hatsune Miku to let me in---

[kiribaku-queen]

Sexercise [18+]

TW: rough sex, multiple partners, overstimulation, oral sex, penetration, spanking, choking, hair pulling, smacking (face), fingering, bruising

Word count: 6.8K

Summary: When you go to a new gym for special workouts but you aren't getting your needs met. Your trainer is here to help, offering special sessions to help get both of your sexual frustrations out.

A/N: Okay, shit writing BUT just think about the concept. I took the liberty of writing this piece because I couldn't get it out of my head!! This collab was really fun to do! Although stressful, I would love to do it again! Check out all the other writer's work for this collab! They are all so talented and just W O W

Inspired by the Korean Webtoon: Sexercise! It's actually really good and I was so obsessed with it. Here's my version but with Bakugou <3

Also, sorry if I tag the trigger warnings wrong >< I'm so new to this!

You stepped out of the freshly, hot shower, carefully drying every inch of your body before putting on the exercise clothes the gym had provided you.

You know. You didn’t bring your own clothes and the gym gave you some to wear? Well, this isn’t your typical gym.

It all started when you saw their promotion flyer hidden behind many others on the bulletin board on your way home. You’ve been meaning to get back to the gym and this one looked promising. A new form of exercise that’ll make you come back for more? Curiosity got the best of you and you headed to the gym to check it out.

Upon arriving, it looked like a regular gym. They had all the necessary equipment that you see in any gym. What’s so special about this gym? And what ‘new form’ of exercise were they talking about, you asked yourself.

“Hi, are you new here?” you hear a voice from behind you. You spun around to see a beautiful, fit woman greet you.

“Ah, yes I’m actually looking to sign up for that new form of exercise written on this flyer,” you explained, showing the lady the flyer you picked up. She grabbed it from you, shocked and disbelief written all over her face.

“Who the fuck did this?” she grumbled under her breath. But she did it right in front of you so you heard everything she said. She didn’t sound too happy, by the way her eyebrows crunched in rage. Her reaction made you back away, feeling uncomfortable. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come to this gym after all. The lady noticed how you were shifting in your stance and cleared her throat, fixing her posture to look professional.

“Sorry if I scared you,” she laughed embarrassedly. “We just don’t promote this gym very much so it was a surprise to see this flyer. I’m guessing you’re not familiar with the workouts we do here?”

“Uhm, not really,” you say shyly. She looks you up and down and thinks for a moment. Then, she goes behind her desk and pulls out this thick contract.

“Well, before we get started, I’m going to need you to sign this nondisclosure agreement and fill out your personal information here. After all this is completed, I can take you around for a tour!” she exclaimed. You were a bit reluctant to even sign this and was about to walk out the door. What kind of gym is this that you need to sign an NDA? But it couldn’t hurt right?

When you signed the last line of that NDA form, she took you on your tour right away. And that’s when you found out the through about this gym.

“Ah, fuck~!”

“HNGH, hah!”

“Good, I wanna see 10 more reps.”

This gym helps their members enjoy working out through the pleasure of sex.

So here you were, stretching your muscles out in your assigned room for your first session. You felt that familiar feeling at the bottom of your stomach due to nervousness and excitement. You’ve always loved having sex. Having multiple partners? Eh, not so much. But you’ve been single for way too long and it’s been a while since you’ve had a good sex experience. Plus, you’ve been meaning to start exercising again so this was such a perfect gym for you. You’re just hoping that it’ll meet your expectations.

You heard two voices coming in your direction. A muscular man with dark green hair and similar clothes to what you were wearing and an angry, blondie with a trainer outfit on were entering the room, chatting away like they knew each other.

“(y/n)?” the blonde one spoke up.

“Ah, yes. That’s me,” you wiped your sweaty palms on your pants and reached out your hand to shake the trainer’s hand.

“Bakugou. I’ll be your trainer today,” he introduced himself. His palm in yours felt so heavy andstrong. He gripped your hand firmly, but only for a second and let go, his presence leaving you empty. Who knew that someone could have that kind of effect on you. You wanted so badly to take his large hands and have them roam all around your bod- You shook your head out of these naughty thoughts. What were you thinking? Sure, you were having sex but this was your workout, not some hookup. Plus, he’s your trainer. He’s not the one you were going to have sex with. It was that handsome hunk beside him.

“Introduce yourself,” Bakugou nudged the man. The green-haired man gave you a shy smile and a small wave.

“Midoriya Izuku. Most people call me Deku, but you can call me by what makes you most comfortable,” Deku says. You smile. His personality and demeanor reminded you of a puppy. But not a small puppy. He was more like a Great Dane: sweet but large in size. Looking at both of them now, they were both very muscular, almost towering over your small figure. You looked over at your trainer who was writing something down on his clipboard. Now he was very attractive. He’s got the face, the voice, the body. God, he was your type. Your partner was also good looking. No matter how much you wanted to have this session with someone else, your partner will do for now. With a build like that, you were sure you were going to enjoy this sex session.

“Alright, (y/n). Since this is your first time here, I’ll run over the basics. Before every session, each partner will give the other a massage to loosen up. If you could lay on the mat, please,” he instructs, pointing over to the mat that was laying on the floor.

You nodded in understand, laying on your stomach and resting your chin on your arms. Deku comes up behind you, sitting on top of the back of your legs. You jump in surprise, but Deku hushes you and gently pushes you back down.

“I’ll make you feel good, don’t worry,” he leans down to whisper in your ear.

Deku starts his massage by pressing both of his thumbs in the middle of your back, going up your spine. You almost let out a moan of pleasure from how good you felt. His large hands felt amazing on your back. Damn, forget about the sex. You’ll gladly be content with this. His hands skillfully rubbed your entire back, switching between a firm and soft pressure. You definitely felt relaxed and comfortable now. So this is why they start off every session with a massage. You were about to fully succumb to his touch, that is, until your trainer interrupted you.

“Okay, you can switch now. Sir, please lay on your stomach,” he instructed. Ah, right. You were still being talked through everything by Mr. Grumpy Pants here. Deku was used to this, so he laid down and you were the one to get on top now.

You started your massage off slow. Your touch was soft and gently, trying to touch every part of his body and get him to relax as much as possible. You tried copying a few of his moves, improvising here and there. So far, so good. You could feel Deku’s muscles loosen under you and he sighed in satisfaction.

“Alright, sir. Now I’m gonna have you lay on your back. Ma’am, go ahead and massage his chest,” Bakugou instructed. Swiftly and skillfully, Deku maneuvered his body around so that you were straddling his waist from the front.

“Oh!” you made a sound of surprise. You could have gotten up and let him take his time turning around, but he had his own plans. You could tell he’s done this many times before.

You were shy about giving him the massage at first. It’s not the first time you’ve touched a man’s chest, but it was your first time giving a massage with the man looking at you with such intense eyes. Deku’s hands were crossed behind his head, enjoying the show he was given. His eyes never left yours for a second, making sure he mapped every inch, every curve of your body and imprinted in his brain. You didn’t know where to look. While he was staring at with you eyes of lust, you were looking anywhere else but him; his chest, the floor, your hands. How could you concentrate when he’s looking at you like that?

You couldn’t help but shift in your position to get more comfortable, but in doing so, you sat right on his crotch. A bolt of electricity shot through your body when you felt his hard on growing larger with each passing second. It took you everything in your power not to moan right then and there. You didn’t want to look desperate so soon in the session. But Deku was making it so hard. Bakugou looked up from his clipboard to see a very obvious tent in the male’s pants.

“Hard already? It’s only the beginning of the massage,” Bakugou pointed out. Deku smirks and puts one hand on your thigh, caressing firmly.

“What can I say? She’s a beautiful girl,” Deku compliments. Bakugou doesn’t respond to his comment and instead, instructs him to do something else.

“Sir, please massage her breasts in this position,” Bakugou says. Without hesitation, Deku gropes your breasts with his massive hands. Every time he squeezed a bit too tightly, every time he readjusts his pose, it was all driving you mad. The heat between your thighs was telling you that you wanted, needed, to be touched. You bit your lips to stop another moan from coming out. Deku takes notice of your small action and decides, with a devilish smirk, to take matters into his own hands. He grabs a hold of your waist and juts his hips upwards so that his boner rubbed against your sopping, wet cunt. With so much force he put into that thrust, your body got pushed forward, allowing Deku to grab your breasts even more tightly. Finally, that long awaited moan escapes your lips.

“There we go,” Deku whispers, continuing his movements. You closed your eyes, enjoying the friction he was supplying you with. But before anything could get too heated, Bakugou, once again, interrupts.

“You probably already know what to do but I’ll explain just in case,” Bakugou starts, putting down his clipboard and goes to the draw that was sitting on the side. He brings out a bottle of oil and kneels behind you. “May I?” he asks while pointing to your top.

“Ah, yes,” you softly say. With his rough, calloused hands, he rakes his fingers up your side before removing your top. Your breasts spill out with a flop, making Deku’s eyes widen in thirst. Bakugou disregards his reaction, continues to put oil on his hands and starts to massage your breasts.

“Be careful when massaging women’s breasts. You don’t want to be too rough that it hurts or too soft that she can’t feel anything. The closer you get to the nipple, the more sensitive she is so be careful when touching them,” Bakugou explains. Like a pro, he starts to play around and twists your sensitive nipples. But just like in his explanation, he used different pressures in different areas to give you the ultimate pleasure. You moan in ecstasy, allowing yourself to submit to his touch. The back of your head landed on his shoulder and you just laid it there while he played with your breasts. Bakugou chuckled softly in your ear and gently pushed you up.

“Okay, give it a try,” he was addressing Deku. Deku nodded with excitement, eager to continue the session. Bakugou guides you to your partner, but his touch lingered on your back for a second too long. You looked back at your trainer and made eye contact with those fiery, crimson eyes. But your attention was stolen by the green-haired man under you. Deku had this talk to many times before that he goes right in to touch your soft, naked tits. It doesn’t take long for his tongue to find its way to your nipple. His wet tongue sliding against your sensitive buds excited you and only made you want more. You started griding your hips downwards to meet his upwards thrusts.

Very quickly, the chemistry between you two started getting more heated. Clothes were coming off one by one. Deku moves so that he is sitting up while you straddle. You cupped his face and brought him in for a kiss. As you guys were making out, you pull his shirt up to reveal part of his abs. At first, you just wanted to tease and feel his body but your horniess was off the charts and just touching caused you to want more of him.

For a moment, Izuku separates from you to take his shirt off and then his lips are right back on yours. Then he leans you back so you’re laying on your back and he’s leaning over you. He quickly disposes of his clothes and then rips your pants off. He sees that you’re already so wet and don’t need prepping. Neither does Deku apparently. When you looked down, he dick was so erect that precum was already leaking out.

Deku leans over you, panting slightly from your make out session, and lines his dick up with your entrance while pumping it a few times. Before he’s right about to stick it in, Bakugou slaps the back of his head. A now agitated Deku springs up, but before he could say anything, Bakugou just throws a condom at him.

“Slow down. Don’t forget that this is an exercise session. Now I want to see 50 reps,” Bakugou scolded.

“Fuckin hell,” he complains. He looks back at you and smirks. “Ready?” You nod eagerly wanting more than anything to just be fucked right now.

Deku slides his throbbing cock inside your long awaited pussy and you swear you could see stars. The stretch from his thick, veiny dick felt so amazing that your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Deku stayed still to let you adjust to his size. The feeling of being stuffed by a fat cock, and by a handsome guy at that, is already making your pussy clench tightly around him.

Deku lets out a sigh of pleasure and starts thrusting. The numbing feeling caused all his hairs to stand on end.

God, when he put his dick in, man did it feel good. But as soon as he started fucking you, you didn’t feel fully… satisfied. The initial stretch was the best feeling you’ve had yet. For some reason, the sex didn’t feel as good as you wanted it to be. Maybe you were too into your head? Maybe you just had to relax and just have a good time. But that was hard to do when your partner was whispering the countdown to himself.

There was no doubt that Izuku was enjoying his time with you, but he was so concentrated on the 50 reps that he wasn’t thinking about making you feel good. He thrusted inside you, not taking into consideration of where inside you he was hitting. Heat rushed to your cheeks in embarrassment. This wasn’t what you had in mind for your first session. You felt bad that you weren’t enjoying it, but you didn’t want to show it. With each snap of his hips, you forced out a moan to make it believe that you were having a good time. Every now and then, you’d let out a bigger, more convincing moan to change it up a bit.

This sucks. What’s the different between this and having sex with some stranger after a night out? They both can’t hit the right spot. He isn’t even going the speed you want him to. You wanted to be pounded into. You wanted him to fuck you so hard and so rough that you can’t walk the next morning. You wanted him to leave dark bruises all over your body but he wasn’t giving it to you.

You started getting bored midway through his reps and opened your eyes to look around the room. Maybe you could entertain yourself some other way while Deku was having his fun. You happened to look at your trainer who was looking at his own clipboard. He wasn’t even paying attention to you guys at all. He was writing down notes. What was he really writing though? Bakugou glanced away from his notes and made eye contact with you for a quick second. It was only for a second but it was enough to make you feel embarrassed that you got caught. You immediately closed your eyes to pretend that that small little eye contact didn’t happen.

“…48…49….50!” Izuku finally finished, giving you a nice, deep, hard thrust to finish it all off. That was good, but not enough. You eventually got fed up and flipped him over so that now you were on top. You were going to ride him until you were satisfied and full. But before you could lower yourself onto him, Deku holds your shoulders to stop you. He became a little flustered that you decided to take control because this wasn’t a part of the session. He looked at Bakugou for approval and he sighed, but eventually nodded his head.

“We can change it up,” Bakugou allowed. “But, (y/n). Now I want to see 50 reps from you.” He instructed.

“Yes sir,” you replied quickly. You just wanted him inside you, you didn’t have time for this chit-chat. So slowly but surely, you lowered yourself onto his dick, gasping the way he filled you up. You were able to fully sit, his dick disappearing completely inside you. The tip finally hit you where you wanted. Using your heels as leverage, you moved in the way you wanted. You made sure that pull all the way out before slamming into his dick again, loving the way he just fills you up. You loved how you were in control, shaking your ass up and down, hearing your sloppy cunt slap against his skin, how wet it must be down there.

God, but you wanted more. You guided Deku’s hands to grab your ass but all he does it grab onto it. Maybe a squeeze here and there. He was so entranced in the sex, his head was tilted back with his eyes shut closed, constant moans escaped his mouth. He loved the feeling of your pussy clenched around him to even think about anything. But you bit your lip in frustration. You didn’t want his hands just laying on you. You wanted him smack it with as much force as he could. He could put those muscles to use and man handle you a little. But you were here to fend for yourself. A visible pout was permanent on your lips but your partner wasn’t able to see it because he was enjoying himself below you.

But your trainer did. Bakugou was paying close attention to you. From the moment Izuku’s cock entered you to your little pout, he noted every movement and every expression you made. He raised an eyebrow, noting that small action and saving it for later.

Deku’s moans were growing louder and more inconsistent. He bucked his hips up, trying to be in motion with you but was getting sloppier by the second. It soon became too much for him and hot, white cum exploded inside the condom.

“Fuuuuck,” Izuku let out one last breath and flopped his arm out in exhaustion. He took a minute to catch his breath while you were getting off him and already started cleaning yourself up. Dammit, you didn’t even cum.

You were gathering your belongings, meanwhile, Izuku was chatting it up with Bakugou again. Before he leaves, Izuku comes up to you, places a hand on your lower back and gave you a genuine smile.

“Thanks for the amazing session,” he said. You gave him your best, fakest smile.

“Back at ya,” you reply. Your smile dropped the moment you turned around and you sighed in annoyance. You hated to think that you’d have to go home to finish yourself off but it looks like that’s exactly what you were going to have to do. Bakugou came up behind you and cleared his throat, causing you to jump in place.

“How was your first session?” he asked. You took a sip of your water to give it a bit of thought. Was this a fun experience? Oh, most definitely. Would you do it again? Probably. Did you cum? Hard no.

“It was good,” you lied. The experience was definitely new and refreshing but the sex was so mediocre that it was almost a little boring. But you couldn’t tell your trainer that. So you gave a sweet smile and picked up your bag. “I’ll see you at the next session!”

But the next session felt exactly the same as the first. You had a different partner this time. A big, scruffy dude with semi-long red hair that was pulled in a ponytail. He was just as built as Izuku, if not bigger. He had the cutest and sweetest personality. And just seeing him, you’d think this cute puppy would turn into a hungry wolf but you were wrong. As per usual.

Bakugou had made you kneel on this couch that he had provided. Kirishima was fucking you from behind but not hitting any of the right spots. His large hands were placed on your hips but they were glued there and he wasn’t touching you anywhere else.

Again, you faked your moans to mask the image of you not having a good time. Though, when you peeked behind you to get a look at your partner, he was in pure bliss. Eyes closed, mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, sweat trickling down his forehead. Damn, was it a sexy sight. At least he was having a fun time.

Every now and then, your mind would wander. It could be many things: you could think about what you were going to eat for dinner, or what your partner was like in bed with a lover, or if you forgot to turn the light off in your bathroom. Oh shit, what were you doing again? You opened one eye and Kirishima was focused solely on slamming his dick in your vagina. Sighing, you had to remind yourself that this was meant for exercise, not for pleasure. Although, it would be nice if you could feel nice too once in a while. Exercise was the prime reason you signed up but like… you thought it would be a win-win situation.

Your mind continued to wander for the rest of the session until you mind was set on a certain trainer you have the hots for. You could see his muscles through his tight fitted shirt, making him look even more buff than he already was. He looked so strong, you could only imagine what having sex with him was like.

You could imagine it now; face twisted in pleasure as he pounds into mercilessly, just like how you want it. You could feel that familiar butterfly feeling in the pit of your stomach just thinking about it. But then, you thought that he must be like all the other men; only chasing their own high instead of pleasuring their partner.

Session after session was exactly the same. You can pleasure that dick, but he can’t even find the clit. But honestly, you were okay with it because at least you could exercise while doing your favorite sport.

You were wiping yourself up after one session, drinking from a bottled water as your trainer, Bakugou, comes up behind you.

“How was the session?” Bakugou asked after your partner has just left the room. You took another sip of water before answering.

“Mhm, it was okay,” you tried your best to sound positive. You thought your conversation was going to end there, like it always has but something in Bakugou decided to investigate a little further.

“How do you really feel?” he questions you, stepping a little closer and observing your facial features for any lies. “I could tell that you weren’t enjoying it. Off day?” You put your water bottle away, thinking of how to respond to him. Did you really want to tell him how you were really feeling? You didn’t want to seem like a freak to him. Did you really want to tell him how you like to be choked, so much so that you feel like you can’t breath. Or that you want someone to just spank you until there’s bruises because you love the idea of being marked. Or that you want to feel stuffed to the brim but still beg for more?

“I just like it a little rough,” you explained. Bakugou nods his head and hums in understanding.

“I thought they were going pretty rough on you,” he thought. But you just groaned and rolled your eyes.

“I guess, but I want more!” you exclaim, letting out an exasperated sigh. “This is why I have such a hard time with my sex life because every guy is too busy chasing after their own high that they forget that I need to feel good too. Not every guy is into rough sex. I know that. But I just want someone to blow my back out for once! Like not holding back and just fuck me until I’m in tears… but one can only dream, right?” you chuckled at the end. You didn’t mean to go on a tangent but fuck it, why not? He’s your trainer anyway. He’s supposed to know everything about you if he wants to tend to your needs. Bakugou just looks at you in silence. You take that as a sign to continue.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. This whole program is fun and I really love the idea but just once in a while, I want to have good sex, too,” you continued to open up to your trainer. You finally turned your head to get a look at his reaction to your rant and you saw those crimson getting closer and closer to you until you were right under him, looking up. Your heart skips a beat having him so close to you. You could smell his burnt vanilla caramel cologne, his scent filling all of your senses at once.

“Then would you like a private session?” he asks you in a whisper, his head tilted down at you. You were so mesmerized by him that you followed his every move.

“With who?” you asked.

“Me.” He responded in that sexy, raspy voice of his.

“When?”

“Now.” Bakugou pushes you against the cold mirror as a form of intimidation. Bakugou knows that he shouldn’t be doing this. Taking advantage of your weakness, suggesting private sessions when he’s strictly not allowed to, especially not on company’s time. It was wrong. But he’s had his eyes on you since the moment you walked in the gym for the very first time. And when you said what you said earlier, it was practically fate that you became one of his students.

The cold mirror touching your back sent you into shock, but the warmness of his body touching your chest made up for it all. He tilts your chin up so you could look in his half closed eyes full of lust. And then you couldn’t take it anymore.

You grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. Your lips smashed together, causing your teeth to crash but you didn’t care. And neither did Bakugou because he was just as hungry as you, kissing you with the same amount of passion.

He wraps his arm your waist, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible at this point. With one swift handful of ass, he lifts you off your feet so that your legs were wrapped around his waist. The moment you became stable, Bakugou gives your ass a smack, making you jolt up.

“Mhm!” you made a surprised noise through the kiss but didn’t stop kissing him. God, you didn’t want to stop. When you came back down, you could feel his erection resting right on top of your clit. He carries you to one of the equipment stored in the room, a couch, while you grind on him, hopping to get more friction to stimulate your needs.

As soon as your back hit the couch, clothes were already being stripped off of you. There goes your shirt, then your sports bra. Finally, your pants. Last but not least, your lace panties that were already wet from your previous session are now even more soaked from his teasing. Wasting no time in discarding your panties, he pulls your waist I so that you’re laying flat on your back, your pussy right in his face I all of its glory.

“Fuck, you’re already so wet for me. I haven’t even done anything yet,” he says. You could feel his beath tickling your wet folds. He was so close yet so far. Just having his breath on you made your pussy clench over nothing. Bakugou puts his nose right on your clit, taking a good whiff of your after workout sex. God, it was intoxicating and he couldn’t wait to dig right in.

“Thank you for the food,” he says before completely devouring you. He took no time in exploring every fold, every inch of your pussy, eating you out like there was no tomorrow. He was rough around your entrance but soft and gentle around your clit. It was like light feather licks, barely touching you but sending you into sensory overload. When he got closer to your entrance, that’s when he started to get rough. Slurping and devouring your wetness, getting every last drop and leaving no leftovers.

Bakugou grabbed hold of your thighs, squeezing them and pulling your body even closer to his face so he could tongue fuck you. His tongue enters you, pushing its way through to get a better taste of your sweet cunt. At the same time, your mouth is hung open in pleasure, moans spilling out of your mouth and you couldn’t stop. Bakugou took this opportunity to stick three fingers in your mouth.

“Noisy bitch. Suck,” he commanded. And so you sucked on his fingers, like a little girl eating her lollipop. He only had three fingers in your mouth, but they were so thick that you couldn’t possibly put any more in. Yet you still covered his fingers in your thick saliva, making sure each finger was coated and wet enough so he could fuck you.

You looked up at him, purposefully making a sultry face, with your big, innocent eyes. You wanted to give him a small show, making sure that he was watching every move that you made. Your tongue found its way in between each finger, licking up and down, sucking each individual finger, and letting go with a loud ‘pop’. You got disappointed when Bakugou removed his hands from you mouth. But was pleasantly surprised when he stuck all three fingers in your throbbing cunt without warning. It’s not like you needed the prepping anyway when you were already soaking wet. Your back arched and chills ran down your spine. You didn’t know how this was possible, but the moment he entered his fingers, it was pure bliss. You already felt like you wanted to cum because he just managed to hit that magical spot in one go. You couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like when he fucks you with his fat cock.

“God, you’re so fucking tight. I can feel you clenching around me,” Bakugou watched as he slides his fingers in and out of your slick folds. He gives you a minute to adjust before picking up the pace. Every thrust of his hand, he keeps getting deeper and is always right the perfect damn spot. It was driving you mad. He hasn’t even fucked you yet and you were already a moaning mess. You couldn’t even form any words, you were such in a trance. It wasn’t before long until you had that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. The feeling gradually and rapidly escalated. Bakugou could feel it too: the way your walls clenched around his fingers a little too tight, he knew you were going to cum anytime soon.

“Bakugou~” you whined, holding onto his forearms for dear life. You needed to prepare yourself for this one.

“Gonna cum, princess?” Bakugou teased. You couldn’t answer him. More like you weren’t able to hear his question because you were so focused on this intense feeling that was going to explode any minute. Bakugou took his free hand and pushed your legs up so that they were pressed against your chest. He, then, leaned on them so weren’t able to move or squirm out of his grasp. And he went even faster, the sound of your juices was sinful.

“AH!” you screamed, letting your orgasm take over and wash over you. You thought he would stop once you had your first orgasm but he wasn’t stopping. He continued his fast pace. You wanted to make him stop, the overstimulation was getting too much for you. You tried moving your legs but Bakugou’s grip on you was nailed down. You weren’t going anywhere. You just had to take it but it still felt so good. The moment you felt like it was all too much to handle, Bakugou took his fingers out. And they were covered in a thick, white consistency. If he spread his fingers out, your cum would string along each finger. Bakugou didn’t hesitate to lick it all off with one swipe of his tongue.

“On all fours,” he demanded, standing up while pumping his cock for you. You didn’t have to be asked twice. Despite the numb feeling in between your legs, you enthusiastically got on your hands and knees, ready to be penetrated by your trainer. Bakugou gave your ass a small smack before lining his cock in front of your entrance. That small smack was enough for you to have hearts in your eyes. You let out a small mewl of delight and Bakugou smirked.

“Yeah? You like it when I smack your ass?” Bakugou asked.

“I love when you smack my ass. Please spank me again,” you begged. Bakugou took his hand and gave you cheek another blow, this time harder than the last. Bakugou made sure to look for any change in your expression, careful not to hurt you. But you wanted more. You wanted him to hit your harder.

“Spank me harder, sir,” you pleaded, moving lower so that your ass was hanging in the air. You wiggled your butt, wanting more from the strong blonde. He smirks even bigger, almost animalistic like.

“That’s a good girl,” his voice became raspy and wasted no time in giving you a nice, hard smack to your right cheek. You cried out in a pleasurable pain. You smiled into your moans, drool starting to come out from the sides of your mouth. The sound of his hand making contact to your bare cheek was so loud that it could be heard from outside the closed room. Bakugou spanked you until your cheek was red and raw from his large hands. This. This was what you wanted. This is what you’ve been wanting for so long and you were finally going to get it.

Oh sweetie, the main course hasn’t even started yet. How could you feel this good when he hasn’t even fucked you yet? You could feel the tip of his dick teasing your entrance. You wanted to lean into him yourself, not wanting to wait any longer, but Bakugou had a strong hold on your hips. He gave his cock a few more pumps before slowly sliding his cock inside your ready, wet pussy.

You both moaned in sync at the feeling: his fat cock throbbing inside you and your tight pussy clenching around his cock. Bakugou started thrusting at a good pace. But just like how his fingers felt, he was hitting that sweet spot of yours perfectly. Every thrust was making you see stars.

“Mhm~ Bakugou, faster!” you whined in between moans. Bakugou grabs a fistful of hair before pulling you up so that your back was arched.

“Needy, aren’t we? And what if I say no?” Bakugou asked in your ear. You just whimpered, reaching behind you to grasp his waist and force him to go faster as you try to back into him at the same time. Bakugou didn’t like this too much. He let go out your hair and went straight to your neck, cutting off your air momentarily.

“Did I say you could do that?” he questioned through gritted teeth. You quickly shook your head.

“No, sir,” you barely managed to say due to your lack of oxygen. He gave you another squeeze before a few smacks to the cheek.

“There we go. Now let’s try that again. What if I say no?” he asks again. You bit your lip trying to come up with an answer. But it was hard to think with a hand was at your throat.

“Please! God, I want you so bad. I want you to fuck me, please!” you practically screamed.

“Good girl,” he said and let go of your neck. You gasped for air, coughing in the process but Bakugou didn’t allow you to fully recover. He pounded into you with no mercy. You couldn’t stop your ahego expression from happening, your tongue hung out and your eyes crossed.

He stopped pounding into you to slowly slide his cock fully out of you before slamming into you again. It felt heavenly but a naughty thought came to your mind. You were probably going to get punished for it later, but you were feeling rebellious in the moment. When he slide his cock out, before he could enter you again, you got up and pushed him on the couch. Midair, Bakugou sensed what you were doing. So instead of being victorious and pining him down, he flipped you so that you were pined against the couch, your hands pined above your head.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he gets close to you. You giggle and look away playfully.

“Not playing by the rules,” you laughed. Bakugou couldn’t help but break a smile as well.

“Naughty, naughty. I’ll show you who’s the dominant one,” he said and smashed his cock back inside you, not giving you time to breath or adjust to him in this new position.

You could feel another wave coming and it was fast approaching. Bakugou was being even more vocal now, huffing and groaning into your neck. His hips rutted into you sloppier each second and more frantic. He was getting close too.

You whined loudly, not being able to hold onto anything as your orgasm hit you like a tsunami so you arched your back and fumbled with your legs. The clenching of your walls caused Bakugou to reach his limit. He pulled out, spraying his cum all over your stomach and chest. His hot cum felt sticky on your skin. Despite being covered in his specimen, Bakugou pulled you close to his sweaty body, your foreheads resting together while you both catch your breath.

You entered the gym with a smile and a skip to your walk. You got a little surprised when you saw that your trainer and new partner were inside the room before you. Puffing out a cheek in disappointment, you scold yourself for not leaving earlier. You were always early to get a good stretch in. But as soon as you saw your handsome trainer, a smile came back to your face.

You rushed to his side, jumping into his arms and giving him a kiss on the lips.

“Hi, baby!” you greeted him. He smiles back at you.

“Ready for your session?” he asks and you just give him a lovey dovey smile and a nod.

“Ah, this is one of my good friends. He’ll be your partner for today,” Bakugou sets you down to introduce you to yet another partner. The two toned hair guy gives you a shy wave.

“Todoroki. You can call me Shouto,” he introduces himself. Aw, he seems really sweet. Shy, but hopefully he’s not like that in bed. Todoroki leads to you the mat on the floor to get your session started. You glanced back at your trainer and give him a wink. He shakes his head at you but you didn’t miss that smile he was trying to hide. Because you know that he was going to make up for this session later tonight.

[kidcooper02]

MY SUPER AWESOME THOUGHTS ON BLUE BEETLE 06

Finally finished it! I enjoyed every minute of it man, it took me about a week? Anyway, god I love Jaime so much, he was a fantastic main character.

I loved seeing his struggles as they were so on the nose of what someone in his position WOULD think. The fear of it all overshadowing any moment of "huh that was cool." God and just...those first issues were heart wrenching. He was gone for a whole year....his family's reactions OUUGHH and the flashback of how he lost said year. JAIME ON THE FLOOR REMEMBERING HOW AFRAID HE WAS TO DIE ALONE ☹☹☹ I loved the themes the run dealt with, the themes of death and what does duty mean to you. It was a super interesting read and one of my favorite things to see superheroes handle

Anyway...CHARACTERS, Again, Jaime fufilled his main character role so well, I don't think anyone overshadowed him. And he was too fucking relatable my god....like I can't even believe how much I could see myself in him. I really liked the fact that they never forgot to highlight Jaime's normality and the mundane things we wants and thinks of. Being characterized as kind of a nerd AND becoming a geek too because of Ted's notes....its so nice to see nerd Mexican rep 🙏🙏 I also found it charming that hes so small lol now that's fucking accurate. And the way he spoke was just, timeless. So on par with younger gen dialogue I thought he was so funny.

And moving on to the struggle to find his own identity in being a legacy hero without ever meeting the predecessors....that whole last issue was painful but in a good way. I really enjoyed it.

BRENDA AND PACO, I absolutely adored them, Paco only knowing Spanglish hes just like me fr AND BRENDA I really wish they showed her off more with her aikido but I also loved that she was the brains for a bit. And I loved that the friend group was well rounded! You could see how all three of them cared and loved each other it never felt like someone was shoved aside. And I loved that they were so ride or die and that Jaime immediately was like "omg guys there's a voice in my head" and they went "no fucking way what's it saying?"

JAIME'S FAMILY ☹☹☹☹ also so accurate I adored them... I liked that with all their love, they also weren't afraid to let Jaime know when he was fucking up without it being a whole big mess. Again, very accurate to keep the family unit so close but not afraid to call out shit within the circle. And his and Milagro's relationship...oml my brother and I fr

PEACEMAKER Loved that Jaime kept trying to make him his mentor and he WAS even if he denied it. I really liked the role he played here, I think it was a good thing to expose Jaime to the lows of cape life out the gate. The kinds of thoughts Khaji da would put in his head, the brutality of the Reach, and the choices he needed to make, I'm glad Peacemaker came out the gate to let him know the hard parts so Jaime was able to triumph through the bad.

HECTOR, NADIA, AND TRACI, I actually really Hector and Nadia! It was cool again to round out the cast with only Latinos and letting them be the guys in the chair ah I loved it. Hector was so goofy and I loved Nadia's "eccentricity." I wish Traci got to do more here or at least get to have more dialogue outside of her relationship with Jaime. I loved that she was the confident one in the relationship and that you can tell she's having fun with what she does. I'd like to read more of her own stories because in this run I felt she kindaaa bordered "manic pixie dream girl" but she also wasn't there enough for a final answer. My favorite moment with her was at Jaime's family reunion and she had all the babies that was cute.

And real quick, loved the rep of the Posse, they were allies but also did some shady shit and Jaime had to be like "hmm I'm friends with some strange people" just like my family fr 🙏🙏 (FORLEGALREASONSTHATSAJOKE)

ALSO THAT WHOLE ISSUE WITH THE TITANS WAS HILARIOUS I LOVED IT SO MUCH

Favorite moments in the whole run; every time Brenda called a girl hot, "YOU CAN'T CALL ME PENDEJO, YOU'RE VANILLA", Paco beating dentist Jaime, all the conversations Jaime had with his parents, Jaime kicking ass without Scarab and saying "Blue Beetles don't need powers!", Traci watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Anubis and Devil Dog lmao, "are any of you old enough to drink", and of course, "one behind this? Rich white guy, just saying."

The ART!!!!!! I ADORE HOW FUN BLUE BEETLE IS TO LOOK AT AHHH I LOVED HIS DESIGN AND HOW THEY DREW HIS EXPRESSIONS AND THE COLORS AND ALL THE DIFFERENT PEOPLE SURROUNDING HIM! THEY LOOK LIKE US, JAIME LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE MY BROTHER IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I LITERALLY HAVE A PIC WHERE I LOOK EXACTLY LIKE MILAGRO. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO ABSORB

I loved this run so much, definitely would and will be rereading it, 9/10

One last thing

I fucking loved that Jaime made this face all the damn time cuz I also make this face all the time so true bestie

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity, thank you for your last answer. I really appreciate it :)

I've recently handed in my resignation. I do love working as a sales rep. It's a good experience with nice pay but it won't get me anywhere I need to. The thing is, I just don't know what I need to do now. My plan is to move to US. Everything in my dream is tied to that land. Thing is, I don't have a degree and work experience enough to make it happen. So I have only one choice - studying in a course, find a job then grow my network so I can find a way to move to US. The thing is, studying in a course means I need a LOT of money. I don't know if I can even afford that. But if I don't get a diploma or new degree, I can't find a job (that provides money, so the vicious cycle continues). 

Suddenly, I feel the urge to abandon this vision. I genuinely feel like it's all not worth it. All the efforts ruined. I shouldn't have been so impulsive and handed in my resignation. I shouldn't indulge myself and got into that useless major simply because I liked it. If I will ever going to get back on the right track, I need to turn about 360 degree and build everything up from zero. I think it's too late now. I genuinely feel no one believes in me. My family turned their back on me. My friends ... well, they don't exist unless I can give something to them. So I thought 'well, if nobody thinks I can amount to anything. I'll just party all day, eat like there is no tomorrow and drink til I drop dead'.

I still manage to rein myself in a little, but I feel like nothing will ever turn out well. That I simply am not good enough for this dream, no matter how much I improve. I used to think 'I will try my hardest for the people I'll meet in the future'. At this moment, I feel like it'll never come true. I know it in my gut, I need to be more active - seeking opportunities, networking, learn more, improve myself and mindset. But it all feels not worth the effort.

Should I just accept it that I maneuver myself into a dead end and live 'realistically'? Or should I keep dreaming and try my best, even if I feel like it's so far away and out of reach?

I think only a few people are destined for success. For others, no matter how they try, they can't succeed. It is written in the star and sealed by the wind and earth. Maybe I might have been destined this way. To have a dream cruelly ripped away from me and I can't do anything to change it. I want to make it happen. I want to improve, but the weight of impossibility (real or imagined) drowns me.

I'm sorry for a very depressive tone in this ask. Thank you if you get around to answer this post.

--------

It's always hard to know whether to give up on a dream or keep fighting for it -- some people fight their entire lives and never get what they want and others make it happen through sheer force of will and resourcefulness. Whether you should fight for this is something only you can decide, but I can tell you that getting what you want is directly tied to how hard you are willing to work for it, what you are willing to give up to have it, and how much your desire for it drives and reinforces your decisions (plus things like good luck, knowing the right people to get your foot in the door, and persistence). A large part of success is simply showing up and working at it daily.

There's also something else to consider -- a different dream. Often we can lock ourselves into a dream version of ourselves, and ignore what's right in front of us, or an opportunity -- another door that we could walk through into a different life, if we are willing to stop looking forward and look around instead. There's something to be said for SP types who live in the now -- they are always searching for something to enrich today, this moment, this week. What if you tried other things? Other jobs? Met other people? Where might that lead you? It's not all or none, although some people tend to think that way -- if I can't have this, I won't have anything, I may as well give up. What if THIS isn't what is best for you, and it's THAT instead? What if THIS wouldn't make you as happy as you think, but THAT would? What if you woke up each day in search of meaning or wonder?

If you regret handing in your notice... can you get your job back? Or is this the nudge you need to find something more challenging? What if you thought about the best life you could have where you are now, or somewhere closer than the US? Broaden your thinking. Make room for the unexpected. Mourn what you feel you have lost, and then set realistic expectations for yourself in the next six months. What is something you can do that is manageable that will either take you into a new phase of your life or head you toward what you want?

Everyone (including me) has had these woe is me moments. If I can't be a best-selling novelist, I may as well give up! No, you can write books because you love it, and be content with a smaller life, because you are not willing to do what's required to BECOME that novelist. (Be a "look at me" self-promoting author -- do interviews, walk in places, talk people into buying my book, sell them aggressively, go places to meet people and make connections. I am not willing to do that, so I must settle. No excuses her, just the facts: I don't want it bad enough to inconvenience myself out of my comfort zone.)

What are you willing to do to get what you want?

[kojoty]

I can try!

Granted I will give a caveat up front: I am already a fairly active person and walk an average of ten miles a day and do a lot of outdoors work. I also have a testosterone prescription that does make passive strength training a little easier. So what I do when I stretch is focused on the needs I am at. Everyone is going to be different, especially starting out!

Second caveat is that I am not trained in exercise, so do your own research, and do what's best for your body.

As far as stretching goes, the biggest focus, at least for me, is trying to get my tendons/muscles/fibers more flexible. This means extension based routines. With the exception of a few back exercises, I try to hold for about a count of ten per stretch. I tend to do this:

Extending arms to their peak above the head, and trying to reach my toes, hold. Usually, on the first one, I can't quite reach my toes without straining my calves. This is usually an indication-- in most muscle and tendon groups-- that you need to gradually work up, in the routine, the extension necessary to do this.

Rock back on the ball of one foot and lean back until you feel the calf and shin pull. Hold. Repeat with other leg.

Rock onto the toes with both legs until you feel your calf extend, hold.

I like to view muscles and tendons as continuations of each other. It's not enough to extend just the calf and shin without also following that momentum into other groups. So, I like to pull my leg behind me and stretch the quads/etc of my thigh.

Reps of other leg stretches, like secretaries, modified lunges, etc.

Try to reach your toes (bullet 1) again. Should be able to see some extension you didn't before. If you don't, no biggie! This stuff takes time. Sometimes I won't see improvement for a week, two-- just keep at it and eventually your body will develop small muscle fibers and flexibility as it's consistently pushed.

Now I usually get on the floor to work on my back and abs. I've found nothing helps my back pain and flexibility more than the Plow Pose. Don't worry about not being able to get your feet all the wah over your head/behind you at first. It takes time to develop that. But being on the floor, pulling your legs straight in the air, holding, and then slowly trying to pull your legs back behind you really helps to pull that spine pain down and through your body instead of it just sitting there and building up. This is my fsvorite stretch. I'll hold it and manipulate my legs for a few minutes on this one. This is the one I consistently see flexibility improvements on.

Rock back upwards to a sitting position. Butterfly. This helps with my hips.

Pushups now. I try to do 15-20, but that's just where I am at. If you can do five? Even just two? That is more than you did before. You will develop core strength this way, and because you're already warmed up and worked into an active state, you might be surprised to find it's easier to pull a rep of these bad boys than you thought possible.

If I'm trying to really push myself, I might do a plank or another core strengthening exercise but that's just how I feel in the moment.

Important now is to wind your muscles back down. Any movement at all is good for you. We just did a bunch of stretching that, whether it felt like it or not, pulled your body in ways it's not used to. Give her some aftercare! Do some lighter floor stretching, don't strain it as hard, and tbh, I often like to lie completely prone for a minute or two with my back straight on the ground, and then work myself up into a very straight sit. It usually helps everything settle.

I'll often stretch my arms now when I'm sitting, over the head, extended outwards, etc.

Above all-- listen to your body. Don't push it farther than it needs to be. This is passive exercise/active stretching. The goal is to increase your heart rate and body heat, pulling your body into an Active state. If you've achieved this, this means you are actively making body improvements. It might be uncomfortable, it might hurt a little, and you can stop at any time, but this is the goal. Learn to love discomfort. Don't push to the point that something feels tight enough to snap, but some muscle ache and extension pressure is how you slowly work those fibers into being more flexible, permanantely. It WILL get easier, day by day, and you WILL feel improvements. :)

There's so much more but this is my routine loosely speaking. Usually takes like 20 min

recently saw someone's "advice for your 30s" which included something like "never get on the floor without having an escape plan for getting back up" and um. if you are otherwise able bodied and having trouble getting up from the floor in your 30s. you are very unhealthy. yes, even, if not especially, for that age.

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.