#like I’m used to the natural blur effect of brushes

[ceceridercat]

Messed around with digital art for the first time. Not a terrible first try but definitely not amazing lol

[asherashedwings]

kind of a dumb question but how do you redraw a frame? im just wondering how you completely draw over the character and get the same screen effects as the show

It’s not a dumb question, dw!

I know you asked specifically about screen effects, but I’m just gonna go over my whole process just to clear all bases.

So first, I start out with the frame I want to redraw. I’ll be using this frame as an example.

So I go onto my desired drawing program and insert the photo onto my canvas. I usually scale it up quite a bit since these screenshots tend to be pretty small and I don’t want my brush strokes to be bigger than I like.

Next I trace over the character’s basic shapes, just so I can get a grasp on how they’re posed, their expression, and figure out how to translate that into my own style better

Then comes the actual redraw part. I sketch over this layout with my own design and style, altering details like proportions and a bit of posing as I see fit to capture the same energy while keeping true to my own style choices.

Then I do line art and color.

Then I carefully edit out the parts of the original character so they’re not peeking out behind the redraw. This mainly just comes down to color matching and blending in order to make it look natural and not obviously edited. My editing tend to be pretty crappy, but it’s good enough to not be noticeable at first glance I think lol

Then, to get the character to look like it actually belongs in the scene, I add several overlaying layers and shading.

And then it’s done!

I think the only screenshot redraw I’ve had to try a different tactic on was this Sir Pentious redraw, cuz the shot had a camera effect over it. For that I just added a purpley pink overlay and a bunch of horizontal lines that I later blurred a bit

Hope this helped!

[nitewrighter]

Scoops! (Part 6)

Capping off the climax! After this is the epilogue! Honestly, I'm amazed at how fast this fic came together for me. It's made me a lot more confident with regards to writing for the DC universe in general.

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Read it on AO3 here!

----

Kryptonite was another thing slotted under ‘Things we don’t understand about Clark’s powers and alien physiology,’ and the one thing none of the three of them really wanted to talk about for obvious, traumatic reasons. Jimmy thought about it, Clark knew. He had once seen Jimmy slam his laptop shut on several web search tabs for radium, uranium, willemite, fluorite, ‘crystals that grow other crystals,’ ‘interdimensional crystals,’ ‘allergic reaction to rocks,’ and a whole host of other searches that yielded 6th grade geology, complex but ultimately unhelpful chemistry, or new age bunk. Clark did not know, for example, that the kryptonite rounds basically just imbued the League’s regular plasma plasma energy rounds with kryptonite radiation until Jalana said so. If he was willing to think about Kryptonite more, that would make sense—for all its destructive power, and its ability to apparently grow new crystals simply by its presence, the actual, physical, irradiated rock itself seemed to come in such tiny quantities, it would seem unlikely to practically serve as ammunition in any kind of weapon. Or maybe it had to come in tiny qualities because the growing crystal factor was too structurally dangerous to be spackling walls with it, and reducing the amount of the material used reduced that factor.

Clark’s own memories of carrying that crystal to the interior of that invading ship on Thanksgiving didn’t dwell on the nature of his obstacles—at the time, his brain was just a blur of fear for his parents, fear for Lois and Jimmy, horror at the ship buried beneath their cornfield living up to every one of his nightmares, and utter bewilderment at the hologram helping him (his father?). He hadn’t had the time to really observe the effects of the crystal around him. It was all ‘Flying, punching, blaze of green agony, Dad(!?), explosion, and then he more or less came to listening to Lois yell at her dad. Not exactly a massive well of information in that time.

There was a dark, morbid, and infinitely lonely corner of Clark’s soul that felt a strange relief when he first experienced the sensation of Kryptonite tearing through him. After years of wondering just how far his invulnerability went, here was at least one answer. It gave a shining, sharp quality to the pain and the all-consuming fear. I can die, it thought, with a weird spark of deliriously childish joy that both did and didn’t fully comprehend what was happening, Like a human. I can die, too. I’m mortal. I’m not that different from them.

Maybe it would have been a bigger relief if that first brush with the crystal wasn’t paired with all that imagery of evil alternate versions of himself inflicting massive destruction and suffering, but for all of Lois’s reassurance that those Supermen weren’t him, Clark understood why the League would package the two together. It was a warning and a weapon for every Lois initiated into the League: There is a monster, and here is how you kill it.

Is this killing? Is Amazo alive? Clark thought as he kept pushing Amazo down with ice breath as those blasts of green colored the air around them both. He tried to just focus on the outward blast of breath. If he could get enough distance before he breathed back in. He could avoid inhaling kryptonite particulates… probably? But no, that wasn’t how radiation worked, and at the back of his mind he knew that. Amazo, of course, was receiving the actual full force of the rounds, and Clark was filled with a queasy horror at the sight of the android’s all too human flailing, every impact contorting its body into a twisted recoil of pain. Clark had to force himself not to instinctively hang back as he saw the greenish tint that the ice crystals forming on Amazo were taking on. Amazo wasn’t moving anymore at this point, those orange eyes were staring out, blankly, and fading, fading—

Amazo suddenly hit the floor of the League headquarters and a massive cloud of glowing, freezing, green-tinted diamond dust burst off of the Android in a great sparkling puff at its impact.

Speed, thought Clark, flying upward, trying to stay ahead of the quickly encroaching ice cloud, Speed, faster, not fast enough. Have to—

But that great cloud puffed up around him, submerged him, and then that terrifying, despairing pain tore through him, inside and out. All at once he felt his flight slip away from him, and those strange, long seconds where upward momentum soon surrenders to gravity. He was dropping, back into that cloud, back into death. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Jimmy, you were right. I messed up, he thought as he felt his throat close up, Lois, I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m going to make it back. Lois, I love you—

But that last thought was enough to make his brain claw back to consciousness. He didn’t want to die—he really, really didn’t want to die. No—he couldn’t die here. How much of this was the memory of that first pain, of the despair he felt in the heart of that ship on Thanksgiving, and how much of it was the actual physical sensation of his body shutting down? The pain itself sent his body into so much of a panic mode that it took him a few seconds of falling to realize that this wasn’t as bad as his exposure to the crystal back on Thanksgiving. It was still bad, obviously. It was really bad. He could still feel the crystals growing in his body, but it was definitely slower than direct exposure to Kryptonite had been. He had made it through Thanksgiving—he could make it through this. Well, okay he definitely would have died without the mysterious Father(?) hologram, but dammit he was going to make it through this. He told Lois he was going to come back and she was stuck back in his world keeping an eye on the Spider Lady and oh god was she okay?

Clark wasn’t sure exactly how he managed to get those few dregs of coordination out of himself, but even if he couldn’t fly, he at least managed to muscle through the worst of the pain to slow and partially control his fall. His descent was dizzy, swaying, like a gnat on a hot day. He half-glided half fell to one of the wall walkways and collapsed in a rolling heap. His eyes were watering, and with his throat half-closed up, he was almost drowning in his own nauseous saliva. If super-hearing was picking up Jimmy’s cries of ‘Clark! Are you okay? C’mon, buddy, say something! Please!’ Clark’s brain wasn’t able to surface itself from the pain enough to comprehend it. Every cell in his body was screaming ‘Make it stop, get it away’ and the fire of his own neurons felt like it had been replaced by ribbons of needle-like shards of glass tearing up everything around them. He rose to his knees and elbows and dry-heaved, tears and saliva dripping from his face onto the floor, his own vision blurring with the pain so much he didn’t even register the droplets, or the green glow in the veins on the back of his hand. He wasn’t convulsing this time, and the sensation of those crystals tearing his body from within was significantly reduced, but he could only almost breathe, his chest heaving as his nails dug hard rivulets into the floor. Still a little bit of super-strength, and a dulled thrum of pain in his fingers that spoke to the ghost of invulnerability, but not enough air, not yet.

You’ve gotten some distance. You’ve gotten some distance, he tried to tell himself over the din of his whole body’s anguished cries of protest, It’s going to settle. It’s going to pass. It has to… please, please, it has to.

——

The main hall of the League headquarters was so cold, Jimmy could see his breath puffing out of him as he sprinted. His sneakers could barely keep a grip on the ice-dusted floor, he was all lean limbs desperately flailing forward and only barely keeping their balance.

“Hey, watch it!” hissed one Lois, her cat ears flattening as she stumbled out of his way.

No time to unpack that, thought Jimmy, still sprinting.

“Claaaark!?” Jimmy hollered, rushing past two Loises who were supporting a limping Lois out of the main hall. He heard dense, low, almost animalistic panting and the memory of Clark’s convulsions on Thanksgiving flinched to the center of his mind. He hated that he immediately  knew that sound was Clark. It was two floors above him. He had to find stairs, clamber over some wreckage on one flight, but then had to help another injured League of Lois member ease herself over the wreckage on the way down, climb up over that wreckage again, and race up three more flights before reaching the floor Clark was on. Clark’s hyperventilating had quieted at this point, and Jimmy really hoped that was, ‘this was reduced exposure and he’s getting better’ quieting and not ‘he’s now a crystal-covered corpse’ quieting.

He found Clark buckled over, his body crumpled and his cape pooled around him rendering him a shapeless red mass. The hyperventilating had apparently given way to long, dragged out, exhausted gasps.

“Clark!” Jimmy yelled, racing forward, and that red shape shifted slightly in response to his name, one hand still gripping his throat, eyes rheumy and skin slicked with sweat. Then Clark seemingly shrank in on himself again.

Jimmy slid to his knees in front of Clark and braced his hands on Clark’s shoulders.

“Clark—Clark, buddy, look at me,” said Jimmy, trying to push up Clark’s torso to get a better look at his face. Superman looked like death warmed over.

“Jimmy…?” his voice was a croak.

“It’s me. I couldn’t see anything on the feeds. I had to come find you,” said Jimmy.

“‘M’okay,” Clark mumbled woozily, one eye closed and the other heavy-lidded.

“You’re okay?” Said Jimmy.

“I’m okay,” Clark’s voice was thick as both eyes opened a bit more.

“You’re sure?” said Jimmy.

“Mm-hm,” Clark flopped his head in something approximating a nod.

“Then what the hell were you thinking?!” Jimmy shook his shoulders and Clark suppressed a gag. Jimmy caught himself, saying, “Sorry—sorry,” before suddenly hugging Clark tightly. Clark weakly brought one forearm up across Jimmy’s back to return the embrace.

“Didn’t… mean to scare you…” Clark grunted, his breath steadying.

Jimmy felt the heat of the beginning of a cry pushing at the back of his eyes, but he just squeezed his eyes shut and held Clark tighter.

“Kryptonite radiation doesn’t last very long when it’s cut off from its source,” a voice spoke up and Jimmy lifted his head slightly to see Lewis, looking sober, still holding his League sidearm.

Jimmy looked up at Lewis, then furrowed his brow and angled himself a bit more protectively between Lewis and Clark.

“It still absolutely could have killed him though,” said Lewis, “If the plan had gone wrong, if the Android had already adapted to his weaknesses… if he had gotten hit.”

Jimmy kept up his glare.

Lewis gave a frustrated little huff that was very signature of Lois. “What I’m saying is… I wasn’t sure if this wasn’t some kind of… convoluted, false flag, destructive plan between you and the android and the Spider Lady until I saw you put yourself at risk like that. So…” he glanced off, pinched his mouth for a few seconds, and tightened his jaw, “Thank you,” he said stiffly, “For the ice breath.”

“Mm-hm,” Clark had to put significant effort into lifting his arm enough to give a thumbs-up of acknowledgement. “Is… it gone?” he managed to say, his voice half-muffled into Jimmy’s jacket.

“We have a team taking a look,” said Lewis. His lips thinned before he added, “We’ll have to disassemble the whole thing. Figure out which parts came from which worlds. It could actually significantly help us track future emergences of—”

There was a scream and a shattering sound from down below and Clark’s head jerked up in a panic. It took Jimmy half a second to realize Clark’s super-hearing was picking up more than they could, but by then, Clark had suddenly seized a handful of Jimmy’s jacket from the back.

“Move!” The word was still a pained grunt from Clark, and Jimmy wasn’t sure how much of it was super-strength or just the sheer size difference between them, but Clark threw Jimmy away from himself. Jimmy bounced and slid across the walkway floor with a grunt, before stopping himself with his elbow just in time to see Amazo smash up through the walkway up in front of Clark. Lewis raised his sidearm and clearly hesitated, realizing his gun was still set to use kryptonite rounds and not wanting to use it with Clark in such close range. Amazo didn’t hesitate to give him a hard swat in the chest, sending Lewis flying back even further than Jimmy, his gun clattering uselessly next to him.

“No—!” Clark flailed a hand after Lewis as he bounced along the walkway on their opposite side, but Amazo suddenly seized him by the throat, yanked him up off his feet, and slammed him so hard against the wall a spiderweb of impact cracks bloomed behind him. The sound Clark made was a sad and crumpled “Ghnk!” And his eyelids fluttered open just in time to see the android drawing its free fist back.

Not like this— he squeezed his eyes shut, his arms slow and stupid and weak from the kryptonite as he scrambled to try and break the Android’s grip on him.

“Scoops, stop!” Jimmy’s voice rang out and Clark kept bracing for an impact which never came. The only thing Clark was stuck with was a flare of adrenaline crashing uselessly against a body on the verge of shutdown, but the punch that should have caved his skull in never came. Clark opened one eye and saw Amazo’s fist seemingly frozen less than an inch from his cheekbone. Jimmy, too, was frozen in place, his breath still puffing in the cold air around them.

You have to say ‘Scoops’ before issuing a command, Jimmy remembered, I programmed Scoops to respond to Lois or me.

Clark’s breath was still ragged, his feet still dangling off the ground. Amazo was looking at Jimmy.

“Scoops?” Jimmy said again.

Amazo tilted its head.

A few feet away from them, Lewis groaned on the ground.

“Primary User Jimmy,” Amazo said slowly, still gripping Clark’s neck. Both Jimmy and Clark startled some at the sound of android’s voice, which sounded like an overlapping mix between the generic automated AI voice Scoops would eventually have once its AI learned enough, the distortion of Ivo’s parasite suit, and Clark’s voice—fed through an AI and given that odd AI choppiness, but with an unmistakably Clark-ish pitch, “You called me that before.”

“Because… it was your name,” said Jimmy, taking a few cautious steps forward, “Are—are you still in there, buddy?”

“Lane, report! What’s going on!?” The Leader Lois’s voice sounded over Lewis’s gauntlet and Lewis just grunted in response, “Lane?!“

Amazo stared at Jimmy searchingly. “I do not know. The heart was made to observe, to help, and to learn. But this body..” Amazo looked at its non-choking-Clark-out hand, “This body was made to consume and dominate. And yet… their synthesis…” Amazo was frozen in place, before lifting its head slightly, “Who…am I?”

Oh my god, Clark thought deliriously, hands still weakly struggling at Amazo’s grip, Clark software. It duplicated my existential crisis.

“I don’t really know but—c-can you let him go?” said Jimmy, gesturing at Clark.

Amazo’s hand opened around Clark’s neck and Clark dropped to the ground like a pile of bricks with a pained grunt, and Jimmy winced, “Sorry—” he said very quietly to Clark, before looking up at Amazo.

“I do not know if I can call you my creator,” said Amazo, who was apparently also Scoops, “I have been… changed. That which was once known as Scoops cannot be removed from this body without destroying both.” The Android folded its hands over that point where the hole in the parasite suit once was. Amazo looked out at the heavily battered headquarters surrounding them, including the broken walkway that just dropped to the floor below only a few inches behind its feet. “Is this… my purpose?”

“No!” Jimmy blurted out, “Um, no. Uh… belay that previous order.” He looked at Clark. “Belay..?”

Clark shrugged helplessly.

“Cancel,” said Jimmy, “Cancel that order.”

“Then… what is my purpose?” asked Amazo.

“Lane, I need a report now, do we mobilize for combat?!” the Leader Lois was still talking over Lewis’s gauntlet as he finally hauled himself to an upright sitting position with a pained grunt.

“Just… wait—!” said Lewis, gritting his teeth and wincing to lift his gauntlet.

“You were made to save a universe,” Clark blurted out, and Amazo’s head turned to face him,

“There’s—there’s stuff in you from different worlds. So that you could save a world that has… a whole bunch of stuff pouring into it.”

“Yes…” Amazo mused, “I feel.. much of that intention in my hardware. But then—-why have I been told to destroy?”

“Because the person who gave you that order is… in a lot of pain,” said Clark, “They thought,” he gave a glance back to Lewis before turning to Amazo, “They believe this place is a threat to their universe, but it doesn’t have to be. Just like you don’t have to destroy it.”

Scoops looked at Clark blankly, then its head swung over to Jimmy.

“uhh… yeah. What he said,” said Jimmy.

“Lewis?!” it was Jalana’s voice cutting over Lewis’s gauntlet now. Lewis looked up and realized Clark, Amazo, and Jimmy were all staring at him.

“…Tell all units stand by,” Lewis grunted into his gauntlet, “The… the android is… not currently attacking.”

“What do you mean ‘not currently attacking!?’” demanded the Leader Lois.

“I think I broke my sternum,” Lewis wheezed, “Look just—wait, they’re talking. If we start shooting again, I think that’ll just piss it off.”

Thank you, Jimmy mouthed.

“We’re moving in to confirm your report,” said the Leader Lois, before her voice clicked off on the gauntlet.

“Your sternum is broken,” said Amazo, as if this was helpful, “But according to my Kryptonian X-ray vision, it is not currently impacting your organs.”

You mean my Kryptonian X-ray vision, thought Clark, with the kind of sourness that only comes with having the everloving shit beaten out of you.

“Um…” Lewis’s brow crinkled.

“I did not want you to shoot me again,” said Amazo,  explaining, before turning to Clark, “And you, Kryptonian, you have no concept of the actual limits of your powers and you have an extremely strong aversion to using your powers lethally. It made it very difficult to access them fully to execute my command.”

“So I guess calling you ‘Scoops’ must have caused some kind of system reset?” Jimmy scratched the back of his head, “Or maybe it was like opening the shell and entering system commands…”

It was at that point that a blue portal opened behind Lewis and both Jalana and the Leader Lois stepped out. The Leader Lois’s hand went to her sidearm immediately at the sight of both Clark and Amazo, but she hesitated as well, with both the Kryptonian and the Android looking at her with a steady blankness.

“Oh my god, Lewis—!” said Jalana, rushing to his side.

“Careful, careful!” Lewis winced and swayed with pain a little as she helped him to his feet.

“His sternum is broken,” Amazo said again.

“It talks!?” Jalana nearly dropped Lewis.

“Careful!” Lewis said again before Jalana quickly readjusted her grip and support on him.

“How… is this possible?” said the Leader Lois.

“It… responded to ‘Scoops,’” said Jimmy, “That was in its original programming. That either me, or a Lois, could command it.”

“Wait, why couldn’t I command it?” asked Clark, a little emotionally hurt, but mostly very, very physically hurt.

“I thought we’d need to figure out how to make it accommodate the whole secret identity thing together before I programmed it in,” said Jimmy.

“Oh, that’s thoughtful,” said Clark.

“Olsen,” Lewis pressed his fingertips to his forehead, “Are you saying you could have told it to stop at any time?”

“I didn’t know I could have told him to stop!” said Jimmy, “Look at him! He’s like… 80% parasite!”

“Maybe any of you could have told it to stop,” said Clark vacantly, slumping some of his weight on a wall, “I mean, if it was programmed to respond to a Jimmy or a Lois.”

“Ah-ha!” Said Jimmy, ��Thank you, Clark. Excellent point. Except it would seem to be League policy to just shoot things on reflex!”

“You could not have stopped me,” said Amazo.

“Come again?” Said Jimmy.

“You could not have stopped me. I was set to see my objective to its completion, and my programming was functioning primarily on the abilities of the Kryptonian. My learning programming for sentience would not have fully activated had I not been forced to adapt beyond the Kryptonian’s abilities—this was catalyzed by the kryptonite exposure. I did not question my own being until I was faced with oblivion. This concept of self, the awareness of self, the decision to live, was born in ice and agony.” Amazo looked at Clark. “I do not believe I would have been able to achieve true free will and question my previous orders had I not become superior to you in every way. Thank you.”

“You’re… welcome?” Clark’s brow crinkled.

“Are you saying that you no longer intend to destroy the League of Lois Lanes?” the Leader Lois asked Amazo pointedly.

“I am still deciding,” said Amazo, looking at the heavily damaged walls and walkways surrounding them.

All the League members in the space instinctively shrank back and tensed up, hands going to their weapons with an obvious hesitation of, ‘This didn’t stop him before, how the hell is it going to stop him now?’

Amazo’s head shifted its angle. “Kryptonian super-hearing indicates the League of Lois Lanes has numerous highly powerful multidimensional entities in its custody—Destroying the League does not automatically ensure their destruction, and should they escape in the fallout, they may pose a risk to the universe I have been made to protect. As such, their continued containment is optimal. I will not destroy the League.”

Lewis had visibly broken a sweat next to the Leader Lois. “Th-that’s it?” he said before wincing and sinking against Jalana in pain.

Amazo fixed that orange gaze on him. “Do you wish to engage in further combat?”

The Leader Lois’s mouth opened but her jaw remained visibly tensed.

“Nope!” said Jalana very quickly, “No, we do not.”

The Leader Lois gave Jalana a hard side-eye, but then her gaze flicked to Clark. He was still slumped against the wall, and he met her eyes with a countenance that was still clammy with the memory of pain. The scrutiny in the Leader Lois’s eyes, and the sinking realization that she was weighing if Clark could go another round with the Android made Clark suddenly feel very small, and very tired. He couldn’t help remembering seeing that same visible calculation in the Spider Lady’s face.

Don’t worry, I’m not hitting you with anything you can’t take.

Except the Leader Lois cared even less if Clark lived or died, or likely even saw his death as the avoidance of all sorts of future potential tragedy. But then her eyes scanned across the other League members, noting their exhaustion, their obvious skepticism towards any effectiveness of their weapons, or even some of them helping injured League members out of the hall or helping each other clamber over rubble and move away from less stable areas of the headquarters. She shut her eyes again; that exhausted, brow-furrowed, eyes-squeezed-shut, long-inhale-through-the-nostrils expression that Clark had seen on the Spider Lady, that he had seen on his own Lois.

Lois Lane had kicked plenty of figurative hornets’ nests in her life, but there was only so much she was willing to put other people at risk.

And the Leader Lois had seen too many Lois Lanes die in her lifetime.

“If you mean us no further harm, I would simply ask that you leave us alone,” said the Leader Lois, looking at Amazo.

“I would ask the same,” said Amazo, “For myself and the universe I was made to protect.”

“We can do that within reason,” said the Leader Lois, “However, the Spider Lady is still at large.”

“Oh!” Jimmy piped up, slumping Clark’s arm across his shoulders to support him, “Sssooo…about that…”

Lewis’s eye involuntarily twitched.

——

“So your plan is… sitting on me,” said the Spider Lady flatly. Lois was, indeed, sitting cross-legged on the Spider Lady’s back, arms folded, right on that roof where Clark and Jimmy had left them.

“Yup,” said Lois.

“I outmaneuvered Bruno Manheim and Carmine Falcone in my world, but sure, I’m going to lose to the Lois whose plan is sitting on me.”

“With the contingency plan of elbow-dropping you if you get out from under me,” said Lois, lifting her chin, “Plus, the Falcone in my world got taken down by Vicki Vale, so maybe those credentials aren’t that impressive.”

“Vicki Vale?” the Spider Lady repeated, “Really?”

“Actually,” Lois huffed, “Yeah, it’s so cool. It kind of sucks that she’s a jerk but it was amazing,”

“I’ll bet,” the Spider Lady said distantly, “She’s a jerk?”

“I mean, kind of. I used to think she was the kind of journalist I wanted to be, but I guess.. by the time I met her, I changed.”

“The Vicki Vale in my universe died before I ever got to meet her,” the Spider Lady said, that exhaustion leeching back into her voice. She was quiet for a few seconds. “I really need more girl friends,” she said, mostly to herself.

“I’ve been telling myself that for years and I don’t know if it’s like, an internalized misogyny thing or an ADHD thing or a bi thing or an army brat thing but ever since I stopped living with Lucy, I get so self-conscious when I’m surrounded by women,” said Lois, “Like women I should relax and be social with. I always feel like I’m missing 30% of the conversation because I’m missing the secret girl language.”

“And I can’t do bathroom girl talk,” said the Spider Lady, a bit sullenly.

“Seriously! Why go to the bathroom in packs!? It’s weird!” Lois exclaimed, “Like—”

“Just let me pee!” They both said at the same time and Lois caught herself.

“…you’re really me from another universe, huh?” Lois said quietly.

“It’s honestly terrifying how willing you are to beat the shit out of yourself with zero hesitation,” said the Spider Lady.

“Well, you made that kind of easy, with the whole… kidnapping and torture thing,” said Lois.

“Fair,” said the Spider Lady.

A long silence passed. Lois pulled her coat a little tighter around herself. What was she going to do if Clark and Jimmy didn’t come back? No, they would come back. They had to. Except it was the League where she got that awful rock that nearly killed Clark—if they considered Superman in general to be that big of a threat, it was likely they had more. But if Clark and Jimmy didn’t come back, then she was stuck with a woman who was dangerous, unpredictable, and had her face. Why had she told Clark to go save the League? They sucked and they all thought they were so great because they had stupid Pulitzers—and with that rock, they could be one of the most dangerous places she could send Clark into. And Jimmy—what if he ended up in one of those interdimensional jail cells he kept warning her about earlier? And Lois was stuck uselessly back here, with no portals whatsoever to help them, and no way to know if anything or everything had gone horribly wrong. Her mouth pulled into a tight frown. They shouldn’t have to be there.

“If you made him to save your universe, why not just leave with Amazo?” Lois asked after a while, “Why destroy the League?”

“It’s not in their interest for my universe to improve its circumstances. And sooner or later, they’d see Amazo as a threat,” said the Spider Lady, “So I’m not making it a threat. I’m making it a promise. And I promise that they are going to know the chaos, and panic, and pain, and despair that my world knows every day.”

Lois was looking down at her, almost blankly.

“Nothing to say?” said the Spider Lady.

“…not really. It’s just… freaky, knowing I can get that angry,” said Lois. For a few seconds, Lois wished this version of herself was more alien, more horribly unrecognizable than she actually was. She wished the prospect of becoming like this woman was unimaginable, but it wasn’t. For a moment, Lois felt it: that kernel of rage inside herself, that sharp little fire that blazed against the injustice of the world, it was one of the reasons why she became a journalist, but it wasn’t the only one. For all the loneliness and powerlessness and frustration she had known, that resentful childhood in her father’s shadow, never able to really put down roots, she had at least been able to see brief glimpses of a world worth fighting for, and people worth protecting, even if she never seemed able to hold onto them for long. And here, and now, she had the Planet, and Jimmy, and Clark—a purpose and people who let her grow herself around that old sharp fire, like an irritating grain of sand, not quite a pearl yet, but getting closer, every day. How much of that had burned away for the Spider Lady, she wondered? Until all she had left was the rage and the sharpness? Lois folded her arms, “But also, we’re not going to let that happen.”

“Why save the League?” the Spider Lady returned, “You’re not a member, and you’re clearly very close with your Clark, which probably puts you at odds with a lot of their policies.”

“Because even if they’re jerks, that doesn’t mean they should get murdered by a robot?” said Lois. And maybe Clark has something to prove… she thought to herself.

“God, you and that Clark are so righteous, here. I don’t know how you can stand it,” muttered the Spider Lady. She was quiet for a few minutes longer. “…is your Jimmy happy here?” she asked at last.

“He’s had pretty much all of his crazy conspiracy theories vindicated by Clark and Cadmus and he’s a multi-millionaire… so I think he’s doing okay,” said Lois. “Aside from a little incident with his drone.”

“Good,” the Spider Lady said softly, “That’s… good. And you’re still friends?”

“Of course we’re still friends,” said Lois. She pulled her coat a little tighter around herself as a winter wind blew through. “…aren’t you cold in that dress?”

“It’s fine. I think it’s keeping the swelling down—” the Spider Lady started but cut herself off as as a blue portal appeared in front of her and the Leader Lois stepped out, accompanied by Lewis, Jalana, and at least a half dozen other Loises, circling both Lois and the Spider Lady, and holding their guns at the ready.

“Hey, woah!” Lois put her arms up, angrily. The Leader Lois stood in front of her, examining both her and the Spider Lady, but Lois tried to get a better look at the portal, only to shrink where she was as she saw Amazo step out. Dread dropped like a rock into her stomach

If the Android’s here, what happened to—

Her breath caught in her throat, then left her in a sigh of relief to see Jimmy and Clark stepping through the pale blue portal. There was an instant, flinching reflex in her brain to spring to her feet and sprint over and throw her arms around them both, but between the League and their sidearms, the Spider Lady beneath her, and now the Android lumbering toward her, that was balanced out by a ‘no sudden moves’ survival instinct.

Relief washed over Clark as they stepped out of the portal, away from the League, away from whatever residual Kryptonite particulates and radiation were still hanging in that universe’s air. He drew in a long breath of cold, winter rooftop air and then made eye contact with Lois. He saw her eyes light up with recognition, and then he saw her expression shift as she took in them both, and particularly how Clark looked like he had gotten the stuffing kicked out of him and only partially, hastily jammed back in. Joyful relief was quickly saturated with ‘What the hell happened to you,’ before Lois was obscured completely by the hulking frame of the Android.

“Could you move, please?” Amazo loomed over Lois and the Spider Lady. Lois leaned around Amazo’s legs to see Clark and Jimmy both giving her silent, nervous, nods and ‘scoot over’ gestures. Lois slowly got up from the Spider Lady and stepped to the side. The Spider Lady coughed and grunted as her breathing was less restricted, and she pushed herself up to a buckled over kneeling position.

“What—?” The Spider Lady craned her neck up and squinted at Amazo, “What happened to you?”

“I have evolved past my original parameters and have elected not to perform the task you set out for me,” said Amazo.

This was the moment when it seemed like true and genuine horror washed over the Spider Lady’s features as she pushed herself up to a kneeling position.

“I found that the destruction of the League of Lois Lanes is not requisite, and in fact possibly detrimental to the stabilization of your universe. And I was made to save your universe,” Amazo said, as if to clarify.

The Spider Lady’s face dropped from horror to ‘are you fucking kidding me.’

“This Lois belongs to Earth 19-Y,” said Amazo, addressing the League as it picked up the Spider Lady by the back of her jacket. The Spider Lady hung from Amazo’s grip with the kind of rage-turned-to-blankness you would see in a feral kitten being held by the scruff of its neck, “I have been created with the purpose of saving that universe, so she is my responsibility.”

“She needs to be taken into League custody,” the Leader Lois said sternly.

Amazo just looked over at her. For all the animalistic fierceness Ivo had carved into the face of the original parasite suit, since it had taken on some aspects of Clark’s appearance, that red-orange glow of its eyes now seemingly had that cool and measured neutrality Superman sometimes took on when he would take a gun from a criminal’s hand, crumple it like some particularly sturdy construction paper and say, ‘Okay, we’re not doing that.’

“I was made to save her universe. You are welcome to attempt to stop me,” Amazo said calmly.

There was a long, tense moment. The Lois with the robot arm stepped forward with her rifle at the ready, but the Leader Lois held up a hand as a signal for her to stop.

“…you can stabilize your universe as you see fit, Android,” said the Leader Lois, “So long as it, and she,” she gestured to the Spider Lady, “Remain contained within its respective confines.”

With that, she hit a button on her gauntlet, opening a blue portal. “This will take you to Earth 19-Y.”

“Thank you,” said Amazo, holding up the Spider Lady demonstratively, “I will take it upon myself to prevent her from escaping our universe and causing further harm, as a part of our universe’s stabilization.”

“You’re so thoughtful,” the Spider Lady’s voice was dripping with venom.

“Primary User Jimmy,” said Amazo, looking at Jimmy, “You show recognition and acceptance of me, both as your creation, and for what I have become. For that, I am grateful.”

“I always knew you were going to be amazing, Scoops,” said Jimmy, while also thinking, Not necessarily in the ‘is also terrifying’ factor but whatever. Jimmy caught himself, “Wait—or do you prefer Amazo, now?”

“Either is fine. I simply hope I can show the same wisdom as a creator that you have, someday,” said Amazo, placing one foot into the portal, “Farewell.” With that, Scoops, carrying the Spider Lady, slipped into the spiral of bluish light.

“Bye…” Jimmy felt a bittersweetness building in his throat as the android that was once his beloved drone became merely a silhouette and then faded to nothingness.

“Jimmy, did Scoops just say it was going to create life?” asked Clark as the portal closed behind them.

“Don’t worry about it, buddy.” Jimmy patted Clark’s back.

“I’m going to worry about it.”

“So… you were keeping the Spider Lady the entire time your friends were confronting the Android with us?” the Leader Lois stepped over to Lois, who was dusting herself off.

“Lois walloped her!” Jimmy exclaimed, “It was like a UFC fight!”

“Jimmy—!” Lois was blushing before quickly adding, “Look, it wasn’t a big deal. My Clark—I mean, Clark had already disarmed her. I just… felt I had to act before she pulled any more surprises on us.” Lois felt herself cringing at the last sentence. She really didn’t like putting herself closer to that League ‘Shoot first, ask questions later’ attitude. And the Leader Lois’s response only raised her discomfort.

“You’re honestly proving yourself to be a great Lois,” said Leader Lois.

“I don’t need your approval!” Lois snapped before catching herself, “Woah, wow, sorry, I was just… bracing myself for more criticism there.”

“That’s fair,” said the Leader Lois.

“But also—I don’t,” Lois said haltingly, “I don’t need your approval. I’m—I’m my own person, and this is my own reality, and I’m sorry things with Clark ended so terribly in all those other worlds, but I’m going to make my own judgment.”

“…You know, I can appreciate that,” said the Leader Lois. She looked out over at Metropolis and gave out a short, amused huff. “And… by the looks of it, as far as universes go, you could do a lot worse.”

“League or not, we run a tight ship here,” said Jimmy, playfully elbowing Clark, which just made him attempt to cover up a pained wince with a smile.

“I’m sure,” said the Leader Lois, that skepticism returning to her voice, “And… I’m willing to admit, without your efforts, there might not be a League standing. We are still looking into the Mxyzptlk incident, but for now… it’s enough just to make it through the day.” She gave a scrutinizing look to Superman. “..Kryptonian,” she said flatly, extending a hand.

“Ms. Lane,” said Clark, shaking her hand.

“Technically, it’s Mrs. Henshaw,” said the Leader Lois, with a bit of resignation. She wasn’t really sure why she said that. Maybe it was a bit of pity towards the Kryptonian, a willingness to show some vulnerability after the beating he had taken at their headquarters. Or maybe it was just that tiring being ‘Lois Lane’ all the time.

“Oh—um, congratulations,” Clark said on reflex.

“Come on, big guy,” said Lois, taking his arm to pull him out of the handshake.

“…so it’s still called the League of Lois Lanes even if you all don’t have the last name, ‘Lane?’” Jimmy leaned over to Lewis.

“Well, yeah, we still have our own lives in our own universes. It’s just more impactful if we all introduce ourselves as ‘Lane,’” said Lewis, “It doesn’t really hit the same if we go, “I’m Lois Henshaw, that’s Lois Lane, and that’s Lewis Kalmaku-Lane.”

“Huh,” said Jimmy.

“We need to be getting back to headquarters,” said the Leader Lois, as the ring of other Loises dispersed to more informal positions, “There are… a lot of repairs to be done.”

“Sorry,” said Clark, embarrassed, “Do you need help with…?” He trailed off.

“I think you should worry about your own world for now,” said the Leader Lois, before turning to Jalana, “Olsen, I need you on cleanup here. Make sure Spider Lady didn’t leave any interdimensional contraband behind”

“Yes, Leader Lois,” said Jalana, saluting before heading off into her own portal.

The Leader Lois opened up her own portal and the remainder of League strike team disappeared into it. Lewis exclaimed, “Finally!” as he stepped through. The Leader Lois looked back at Clark, Lois and Jimmy, before a soft, amused huff escaped her.

“I realize I’m asking the impossible, but try and stay out of trouble, 12-M,” she said, before stepping through the portal, “We’ll be in touch.”

Clark awkwardly waved after her as she disappeared.

“…what do you think the ‘M’ stands for?” said Jimmy, before going “Oof!” As Lois flung her arms around both him and Clark.

“What happened in there!?” She said, her voice muffled against both of them.

“A lot,” said Jimmy.

“Jimmy saved the day,” said Clark, easily.

“Smallville, you don’t get to just say, ‘Jimmy saved the day’ when you look like this,” said Lois, gesturing at him.

“I know, it’s just…” Clark hesitated.

“We’ll tell you the whole story as soon as we can,” said Jimmy, “I think we both need some time. For now, we’re just really glad to be back home with you,”

“I’m holding you both to that,” said Lois, with a sternness that almost rivaled the Leader Lois, before it quickly melted away and she hugged them both again. “I’m just… so glad you made it back.

Clark’s cheek smushed against the top of her head as he returned the embrace. But then, hesitantly, but reflexively, his arms loosened around her and Jimmy. He lifted his head, tilting it and squinting slightly, before his eyes widened. “Lois—” he looked at her with some alarm.

“…Metropolis hasn’t had Superman all day,” said Lois, following his line of sight over the city.

“It won’t be long, just—there’s someone stuck in the trunk of a car in Bakerline, and there’s a group of people dumping some hazardous chemicals in the river over in the industrial district, and there’s a lost dog down in—”

“We know, buddy,” said Jimmy.

“Clark,” Lois set her hands on his shoulders, “It’s okay. You can go. Just… be safe, all right?” And then she squeezed her eyes closed with exhaustion and added, “And please don’t get kidnapped again.”

“Get some rest. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he kissed her hairline and took off so fast her jacket whipped around in his wake. Both Lois and Jimmy were left alone on that rooftop, the air around them feeling surreally empty.

“…you okay?” Jimmy asked after a long silence.

“Yeah, you?”

“I kind of built a god? Sort of? I’m trying to parse that,” said Jimmy, “I’ll be okay. Probably.”

“Great. That’s great,” Lois glanced at her bruised knuckles before huffing out a breath and swinging her arms back in forth for a few seconds, “I’m, uh… I’m gonna go home and pass out.”

“Good call,” said Jimmy.

[sangysquish]

I want to preface this by saying that I really enjoy and look up to the work that you do. Do you have any advice for improving digital drawing skills? How you do anatomy, how you found and chose your tools and workflow, that sort of thing.

Hey thanks that means a lot, and I appreciate the questions!! I have a feeling this’ll end up being a long-winded explanation, so strap in.

To begin with I tried a lot of different programs, but I ended up on procreate because it just feels the most natural to me! I draw on an ipad with an apple pencil, pretty standard stuff there.

As for the specific tools I use in procreate I actually just use the default round brush under paintbrushes for pretty much everything. Aside from a few more technical brushes for effects and patterns and whatnot, but all those are default brushes too!

When I first started digital art a couple years ago I really had no experience with it whatsoever. I had done traditional art throughout my whole life up until that point, but digital was a whole new beast. A lot of my skills with traditional work definitely carried over, especially once I started to get more comfortable working in digital.

The main thing I can tell you, and which I’m sure you’ve heard countless times already is practice practice practice! You don’t have to slave away practicing eight hours a day and devoting your life to it, but make sure you’re drawing smart! Any drawing is good drawing, but if you really want to improve try and make your practice a bit more focused. Pick one specific thing you struggle with at a time and work on them individually. Drawing from reference is always a good place to start.

As for my workflow, it’s honestly pretty horrible, but it works for me, so that’s all that matters tbh. You just gotta mess around with different things until you figure out what feels most comfortable and natural to your process.

Typically I’ll start from a reference, then once I’ve got enought of the figure down I’ll start to make adjustments with the liquify tool and clean up lines. I personally don’t use any sort of gesture or skeleton when I sketch, I just go straight into the lines and adjust as I go, then clean them up to a point I’m happy with. I also use a ton of layers so I can move around parts easier.

After this I start painting in my flat colors on a layer below the lineart, pretty standard stuff there! Typically when I choose colors I try and keep them all in the same family or tones, so you’ll see all my vampires have very cool tones and a lot of purple. Even the black and white colors have some cool tints in them.

Once my flats are finished I move on to the shadows. I start with the biggest section of color first, usually the skin, and make a clipping layer above it. I set the clip layer to overlay, then depending on the skin tone I use a very dark blue or dark red color for the shadows. This also often takes a bit of adjusting transparency and other values, but I’ve eventually gotten a feel for it.

When actually painting in the shadows I start pretty basic just to block out shapes and get an idea of where I want the light source to be. Then I go back in finer detail. Once I finish with a pass of shadow, depending on how it looks I’ll duplicate the layer, adjust transparency, then use gaussian blur to soften the edges while keeping the original shapes in tact. I also use the smudge tool occasionally for finer adjustments as well.

I do a similar process for each block of color until it’s to my liking. Sometimes, especially on the skin tone, I’ll go back and add another overlay layer above the shadows to do some countershading, which just makes things look a bit more three dimensional.

Once all the shading is finished I go back on the skin very gently with a soft, red airbrush to give it a bit of warmth and life, especially around the face. After this I use a white noise brush on another overlay layer to add some subtle highlights and skin texture. For shiny things like hair I make yet another overlay layer, and use a random brush pack I found online that has some nice water effects.

Once all the rendering and other effects are complete I then go back to my lineart layer, make a duplicate, then color it in red with a clipping mask. I take this new red lineart and bring it all the way down to above where the skin tone layer is. This has a very subtle effect, but it makes all the difference imo. After that I go back to the lineart layer once again and make a clipping layer above it, then gently use a red airbrush around where the light hits brightest. I do the same with a dark blue airbrush on the parts with the most shadow. This gives the lineart a bit of variation in color!

Lastly I just sorta wing the background most of the time so I can’t give you much assistance there haha.

Again, apologies for the super long explanation that probably makes zero sense, but I hope you’re able to at least glean some amount of knowledge from my process!!

[mmorgstartup]

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What if we had bigger pointers for larger brush sizes? Maybe a crosshair for more precise sizes? How about a unique pointer shape for the pixel brush tool, which also has pointer snapping to each pixel for even more precision? So many possibilities to make this a really unique experience for the iPad. There’s also some keyboard functionality missing like being able to select multiple layers/objects on the canvas with Shift or Command.Ī nice little bonus would be to have enhanced pointer shapes with brushes, erasers, etc. Would love to have a tool sidebar kind of like the desktop Pixelmator app! The keyboard shortcuts make this a lot easier, but I don’t always have access to a keyboard (like when I’m drawing with Apple Pencil). Thanks for fixing the issues with selection editing with the keyboard too!Īs some of the other reviews mentioned, the UI is definitely a little clunky especially on big iPad screens-especially the two modal screens you have to go through to choose a specific brush or selection type.

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Really love the new keyboard and trackpad support-really makes it feel like a pro app.

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New update is awesome, but still a few missing things

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Wipe away image imperfections, skin blemishes, and unwanted objects with the Repair tool.Easily remove color casts and set the right white balance.Take full control over the tonal range of your image with levels and curves.Instantly improve your photos with single-tap color correction presets.Get started with dozens of beautifully designed templates.Pixelmator has everything you need - whether you’re a mobile photographer, mobile painter, or mobile graphic designer - all in one easy-to-use app.ĭesigned exclusively for iOS, Pixelmator takes full advantage of the latest iOS 14 features and technologies, giving you innovative, fast, and powerful tools. Pixelmator is a powerful, full-featured, layer-based image editor that lets you touch up and enhance images, sketch, ​and paint, as well as create advanced image compositions on iPad and iPhone alike.

[trustsj]

Radiant defense operation triola

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A portion may be absorbed The portions that are reflected or transmitted continue on as electromagnetic radiations and do not heat the materials, but the portion that is absorbed is converted to heat energy, increasing the temperature of the materials upon which the radiations impinge, and thereby introduces the hazard of ignition.

A portion may be transmitted or passed through the material.

A portion of the radiation may be reflected.

These invisible radiations, considered sometimes as waves and sometimes as particles, travel outward from the source, and as they encounter various materials, one or more of three possible actions take place: Even a block of ice emits heat radiations, although very weakly. Heat radiations are emitted as “electromagnetic waves” by all substances having temperatures higher than absolute zero. As a practical solution, distance is probably the most important factor in exposure protection. Heat radiations spread outward from the source and therefore the quantity of radiant energy reaching an exposed building will decrease as the distance increases. If the absolute temperature of a fire is doubled, the radiant energy is increased 16 times. The quantity of energy radiated increases very rapidly as the temperature of the source increases, being proportional to the fourth power of the absolute temperature. Heat radiations are invisible and therefore may preheat an exposed building to the point of ignition before the danger is recognized. It can readily pass through those liquid or solid substances that are “transparent” to heat radiations, whereas opaque solid substances, even in thin sheets, effectively absorb or reflect such radiations. Radiant heat travels in straight lines but will be reflected by surfaces it may strike or be reflected or deflected by particles of smoke or dust, by water droplets, or even by gas molecules in the air. Where to buyĬonsultant and friend Lin Reynolds gifted me Radiant Defense to try, and you can shop with her here (thank you, Lin!).Many of the principles and concepts of heat radiation can be simply stated and are easily comprehended. Bonus, it actually has skincare benefits. The shade range is somewhat limited, but if you can find a good match, this is a great product for those of us who’d rather skip foundation and use something that’s lighter.

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My skin absolutely looks better and it doesn’t feel heavy on the skin at all. I also opted to finish off with a damp beauty blender to ensure there was no streaking and so that the product settled nicely into the skin.Īfter multiple uses, I’m loving the results. I did feel like it dried fairly quickly, so you may want to keep that in mind. I pumped a small amount of product to the back of my hand, tapped my brush into it, and then swept onto my face. I’ve been using Radiant Defense (shade: Beige) quite a bit since receiving it and I love that it combines skincare and makeup benefits.Īt first use, I was surprised at the level of coverage it provided, which was really nice, and the Radiant Defense Liquid brush made it easy and quick to apply. There are six shades available: Shell, Beige, Sand, Golden, Almond and Espresso. Since it’s tinted, it does provide some lightweight coverage to help even skin tone and blur pores. With an SPF of 30, it also touts pretty decent protection against UVA/UVB rays. The lightweight, oil-free formulation provides three forms of defense: environmental, barrier and photo defense. Radiant Defense is a new skin tint that protects your skin against the sun and other stressors while improving your complexion over time. So when Rodan and Fields recently launched their Radiant Defense Perfecting Liquid Broad Spectrum SPF 30, I had to give it a try. I love natural-looking skin and given that I struggle with hyperpigmentation and sun damage, having a tinted moisturizer/CC cream with SPF is a must.

[romanticsims]

hi love! i legit just found your page yet i'm absolutely BLOWN AWAY by your edits, oh my gosh :O i love the gif you posted about your editing process and i was wondering if you'd be willing to post the different pictures in it side by side so i could more easily see the process? if that's too tedious that's totally okay and i completely understand :) thank you for reading dear, have a great day!! <3 (the post i'm talking about is post/683152127057641473)

Hello anon!

Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m so happy you like my edits and are interested in the process (truly my favorite thing to talk about)

I’m gonna number each part of the process, I tend to save a picture after I think I made significant enough changes and then continue so idk how organized this will be but I’ll happily upload a progress video of another edit if you or others are interested! Also for reference, I edit mostly in Procreate

1. Picture one is the render fresh from Blender! I immediately notice clipping issues I wanna fix and elements from the Sims that didn’t translate well into blender (like her nose and lip presets)

2. This shot is after I brought it into Photoshop and used my basic actions (topaz clean, smart sharpen, and camera raw filter). This is also where I separate the subject from the background for easy editing, and blur the background (I usually use tilt and field blur, I also added motion to this one since she’s in a bustling city)

3. I’m in Procreate now and use the start (and early motivation and excitement) to get the fixing work done. Smoothing the harsh lines of the clipping with the smudge tool and parts of her face that don’t look right with Liquify

4. The fun parts begin and I get started on drawing the hair (I also smudge the hair underneath to blend better with the hair I draw on) and begin pulling colors from her skin and drawing on top of them with a noise brush for texture. I made some adjustments to the background and the lighting as well since I was focusing on the skin and wanted the lighting just right

5. This was when the skin got FUN because I added the blushing and started really going ham on the cheek bones and her freckles. Fixed her features some more with liquify and really made sure the hair blended with the background as I drew a lot of it in myself. (At this point in the process I was both so in love with her and so fucking tired I knew I should stop before I went too far lol)

6. And then the final adjustments were made! I use Curves at the start, then I move on to using a Gradient Map to adjust contrast, and my favorite parts are using blurs and Ambient Occlusion to really make everything blend seamlessly. I love adding fog to my shots, it blends the subject with the background and really adds a more natural touch to the setting. I color the fog to match the mood, in this case a very desaturated blue. Final touch is sharpening the image and adding noise for that real picture effect I love. (Both the background and the subject get different levels of noise as well)

I don’t know for sure but I believe the time it took to finish her took about 5 hours total, and I hope this gives some insight into what I do! I’d be happy to answer any more editing questions, it’s truly my favorite part! Thank you again for reaching out and I hope you have the best day too! You definitely made mine ☺️

[slashbitch2]

Lying To Her Love

i noticed there were no fics for lorraine and felt i had to remedy that

also no hate to ed he's a dilf

Lorraine wasn't really sure what prompted her to stray from the group. Conjecture would be the only way to describe it: a sudden desire to distance herself from Ed, to explore the house alone. A new feeling had also arisen deep inside, in her chest if she had to place it, similar to a compass. Like there was an internal needle pointing in the direction she was supposed to go, and she chose to trust this instinct. Though thus far her inference skills had brought about nothing but terrifying situations.

And unfortunately, it seemed this time would be no different...

The needle slowly spun round to point out a set of stairs leading down toward the basement. A layer of dust had settled upon each step, indicating that no one had ventured down so far, which only served to intrigue her further. How, in a paranormal investigation, had no one thought to check the basement? As she drew closer, Lorraine realised there was a very faint set of footsteps. They were too imperceptible to have been made recently, yet the house had supposedly been uninhabited since the disturbances began over a week ago.

Had it not been for the very insistent compass directing her down, the footsteps would've been convincing enough. Careful not to unsettle the evidence, she began to descend down the staircase, one hand tracing along the brick wall as if to ground herself in reality. With each step she could feel a weight bearing down on her chest, a dizzy wave rushing over her. At one point the sensation grew so overwhelming that she had to pause and close her eyes. Whilst stood still, the strange pressure that had been building up in her ears reached its peak. Without opening her eyes, Lorraine knew she'd crossed over to one of her prescience visions.

However, when she eventually did open them, it was to find everything exactly as she'd left it. There were no indications that anything had changed, except for the familiar feeling that she was watching through someone else's eyes. Or rather, watching what someone else wanted her to. She'd been brought here for a reason, and by god she was going to get to the bottom of this. Reinvigorated by a new determination, she practically skipped past the last few steps and onto the cold basement floor.

Here Lorraine found the first confirmation that she was no longer in reality: natural light flooding in from no visible source. It was a welcomed change from the gloom of late evening she'd left behind, but only made her more weary of whatever she was about to encounter since it was clearly trying to lure her into a false sense of security. Nonetheless, she cautiously ambled further into the open space. In fact, it was eerie how empty the room was. Usually she'd be climbing over piles of abandoned objects, trying to give equal attention to each one which often invoked fabrications of the mind. However, here there was nothing for her brain to work with, save for the occasional movement out the corner of her eye that she knew was nothing more than fiction to fill the void and warrant her apprehension.

By the time she'd reached the opposite end of the room, nothing yet had occurred to explain why she'd been dragged into this particular vision. And then, an abrupt, horrifying possibility dawned on her. What if she was stuck here?  It had never happened before, but then again, in most cases 'the cause' would've revealed itself by now.

Although, with this realisation came another equally strange one. Lorraine could feel no fear, no panic, no negative emotions. All she was aware of was complete relaxation. Even her most horrific memories and upsetting images couldn't create any response. They were nothing but distant stories told by a different version of her. The positive aura filling the room started to shift into something else, into an almost crippling pleasure. It was both intense and insufficient. She found herself clutching at her stomach, as if she'd suddenly been made aware of an incapacitating emptiness. She longed for company, yet the idea of returning to reality appeared an incredibly unappealing one. Instead, Lorraine wanted to fall further into this dreamlike pleasure.

But that was what it wanted.

With great difficulty, and an exclamation of discomfort, Lorraine turned on her heels to begin her escape. Though she halted upon catching sight of a figure stood before her. She compelled herself to push past the profound ache lingering in her gut, standing up straight to face this mysterious being. Here she came across the second confirmation that this wasn't reality, not that she needed it anymore. You were indescribably beautiful, radiating a sort of divine light like an alluring beacon of possibility.

Most spectres or demons Lorraine met were the opposite. They enveloped the light around them, constructed a dark gap in which there was nothing but pain and regret. They represented everything that couldn't be. A screaming phantom that reminded her to appreciate life.

But you-

You represented all that could've been without any guilt or anguish. You emanated both warm nostalgia and burning desire, the effects of which were palpable for anyone who could tune into the energy, and Lorraine was being strongly subjected to it. Though first and foremost, she had a job to do.

She swallowed, refocused her attention to the task at hand. "Why-" Another wave of dizzying desire washed over her. She tried again. "Why are you-" The world around her was spinning. She blinked rapidly to try stave off vertigo, but stumbled anyway.

A cool reprieve from the searing pleasure caught hold of her. Using the embrace for support she stabilized herself only to come face to face with you.

Despite your overpowering influence on her, you appeared surprisingly human up close. Normal enough to blend in with reality, but sufficiently attractive to be memorable. Still there was something irresistible to your appearance that encouraged Lorraine to sink further into your hold, to move her hands to wrap around the back of your neck. She hadn't felt so loved since early on in her relationship with Ed...

Ed.

She shouldn't be doing this. Her marriage commitment ought to have her fighting against you- but that was practically inconceivable. Besides, how could something morally wrong feel so right? No, this wasn't infidelity. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but not that. She would never cheat on Ed.

The temptation was intoxicating. Lorraine's hands started to trace patterns along any available skin, savouring the unfamiliar yet exhilarating sensation. You weren't a living breathing person so there was something different about the way you felt that she was eager to investigate. In response to her caress, you brought one hand up to cup her cheek, maintaining intimidating yet intimate eye contact. The touch emitted pure pleasure and Lorraine gasped as she leant into the contact. Time seemed to slow as neither moved, opting to stare at the other in silence instead.

She was vaguely aware that time moved differently in her visions. That the longer she spent in one, the more time had passed upon return. Though currently it was the least of her worries. All she could focus on right now was you and the close proximity that appeared to be narrowing still. Your gaze had dropped to the lower half of her face. Lorraine did the same, her eyes fixating on your lips. However, before you closed the gap she raised a hand, motivated by a new desire. She was shaking slightly, but ignored it to gently brush a finger along your lips. She wanted a taste of the upcoming kiss, and was pleasantly unsurprised. As expected, the touch only reasserted her conviction.

She'd never wanted anything- anyone- as much as she did now.

Suddenly your mouth was upon hers, bringing cooling bliss with it. Lorraine moaned. She felt again a rush of possibilities, the surging tide of everything that could be. The muted uncertainty at the back of her mind blurred into nothingness as she clung onto you. Your mouth was the only solid thing in a swaying world, and she planned on indulging herself in the addictiveness of it. She parted her lips, provoking insatiable tremors along her nerves and another rush of giddiness. She felt young, as if she were experiencing intimacy for the first time again.

Your hands were everywhere, carrying an influx pleasure. She'd never felt anything quite like it. Time became irrelevant, everything except you was meaningless. She was lost to an eternity of bliss, in a realm of endless fulfilment. It was incomprehensible, otherworldly.

And then it was over.

She hadn't noticed she was lightly crying, or trembling so much. Or that she was on the ground. You'd simply disappeared and she'd collapsed. But someone was holding her now, someone else.

"Lorraine!" Ed was crouching before her, gently shaking her out of the dreamlike state and back to consciousness. She'd never loathed him so much for saving her.

"What happened?" He asked, lowering to meet her eyes. "Are you okay?"

She scoffed, her mind trying to comprehend all that'd just happened. She was left reeling from the sudden weight of Ed's touch and separated from him. "I'm fine." Her voice barely breached a whisper.

"Did you see anything?"

Lorraine finally met his eyes, but she couldn't tell him.

"No." She answered. "There's nothing here." She lied.

[americxn]

hi, i may have a request about something (honestly u can do whatever feels best for u) about kai being in relationship with a girl that's as manipulative as he is, she wants to control everything and when he tells her what to do she's like "no bitch, im not doing that you can't force me and im not scared of you" 💅🏻💅🏻

Kai Anderson x GN!Reader

wordcount: 1.1k warnings: choking, swearing

“Are you ready to... what the fuck, y/n?” You glanced up from where you were perched on the edge of the kitchen counter, draped in an oversized hoodie, fluffy socks swaddling your feet, an almost empty box of cereal in one hand and your phone in the other, your thumb poised over the screen in mid-scroll. You scanned your boyfriend as he stepped into the room, noting the wholly black attire he had donned, the faded blur strands of hair pulled tightly back into a strict bun at the crown of his head. “What the fuck what?” You questioned around a mouthful of dry cereal, your hand delving into the box to scoop up another handful.  “We’re leaving.” He stated, incredulity creasing his forehead. “And you’re not ready.” He finished with an exasperated wave of the hand in your direction. “We’ve been preparing for this for weeks. Did you forget?” He questioned, watching as you slid off the tabletop, snatching up the box of cereal and striding for him. “No, I didn’t forget. I told you, I’m not coming.”

“And I told you that you are. Many times.” “What a shame.” You retorted without a second thought, pausing next to him on your journey to the open doorway of the kitchen and holding the box of cereal to him in offering. With a scowl, he batted the box away, causing you to shoot him a frown and continue making your way to the open doorway. You were forced to a halt when Kai reached after you, gruffly taking ahold of your arm. “You’re coming.” He hissed. “Go and get ready, we’ll wait.”  You gave him a pointed look. He loosened his grip on your arm, allowing you to tug yourself from his reach, watching with a clenched jaw as you exited the room and disappeared around the corner into the hallway. “I’ll give you ten minutes.” He called after you; rolling your eyes you shovelled another mouthful of cereal into your mouth, taking the stairs and ambling into yours and Kai’s shared bedroom. Exactly ten minutes later, an increasingly agitated Kai stormed up the stairs, mumbling irritated phrases under his breath as he checked the time on his watch, flinging open the door to your shared bedroom, the scolding words poised on his tongue at how long you were taking falling from his lips as he beheld you lounged on the bed in all your glory; the only thing that had changed about your appearance was the large hood you had pulled over your head, your cheek buried into your pillow in your curled up position on your side, the light of your phone illuminating your face in the dim lamplight of the room, your box of cereal hugged tightly to your chest. “What the fuck.” Kai spat for the second time that evening, stalking for you and pulling your angrily to your feet. “Hey!” You exclaimed in annoyance, the box of cereal falling from your grasp, it’s contents spilling onto the white bedsheets as Kai angrily hauled you to your feet. The scowl of Kai’s face was mirrored on your own as his dark eyes bore into yours, his hands clasped tightly onto each of your forearms.  “I told you to get ready.” His growled. “Oh, for fucks sake.” You grumbled. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you? I’m not coming.” You repeated, each word punctuated with emphasis, some of Kai’s annoyance leeching into you with his persistence. “Just go without me.” “No.” He snarled. “You are apart of this cult and you will come on group missions with us.”  “Missions.” You repeated with a roll of your eyes, the word carried on a bitter scoff. “Just fuck off and go do whatever the hell this ‘mission’ calls for. I’m staying here.” You pulled yourself out of his grip once again, your arms coming to cross tightly across your chest, waiting expectantly for him to leave. You didn’t even flinch when his hand shot out, clasping tightly onto your throat as he pushed his face closer to yours, his eyes glittering with cool fury, the vein running up the centre of his forehead becoming more prominent.  Your lips curved into a slow smile, his rough fingertips pressing further into the sides of your neck, nails biting into your flesh with his palm applying considerable pressure on the column of your throat. Kai’s eyes flashed at your unperturbed response, your smile only growing as his irritation increased. “You listen to me.” He hissed, his breath hot on your face; your eyes fluttered closed as his grip on your throat tightened further, constricting your air flow slightly. “No I don’t.” You bit back through gritted teeth, his hand squeezing even tighter in warning. “Maybe it’s time that you started listening to me.” The words struggled to fit around his unyielding hold, your eyes cracking open as you suddenly attached your own hand around his pale throat, lips curling in amusement as Kai’s eyes flashed in confused alarm. His skin was warm, his pulse fluttering beneath your palm; your simpering smile only grew when he froze, utterly unsure of what to do as you dug your own nails into his soft flesh, hard enough to break skin. His breath caught beneath your hand, his lips parting at the unfamiliar pressure you were applying; his own grip on your throat faltered. Tugging harshly, you brought his face even closer to yours, the tip of your nose brushing against his. “You should really get going, you’re already running late.” You crooned softly, Kai’s eyes briefly fluttering closed, his throat working beneath your hand as he swallowed his retort, his cheeks flushing a deep red.  You maintained your strong grips on each other for several silent moments longer, breaths mingling in the small space between your lips, the room filling with tension of a nature that you couldn’t place. Releasing your holds on each other simultaneously, Kai retreated back a step with a shuddering breath, his cheeks stained with colour. You gestured to the door, watching as he turned wordlessly, his eyes lingering on you as he made his way to the door. Glancing down, you couldn’t stifle the smirk that spread across your face as you beheld the obvious effects of your actions, evident in the bulge straining against the unforgiving material of his black pants. 

taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremacist @ikkleroniekins @ananad1 @shlutnutt @sanni333 (dm me to be added or removed <3)

[drawlfoy]

the poisoning of draco malfoy

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x fem!reader

request: no haha

summary: y/n is known her her hangover cure and her passion for potion making. something goes slightly wrong when it comes to helping draco malfoy.

warnings: mentions of underage drinking, swearing, getting poisoned lmfao

a/n: hiyo i should be studying rn for one of my exams on monday but i just wanted to post this also big sorrry to anyone’s dm that i have yet to respond to i literally just popped in here to do this and hopefully i will crawl out of my study hole in a few days fjsdka’

word count: 1.2k

tags :) message or send in an ask to be tagged! @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell

“Draco!” Y/N hissed as he flipped through her entire Potions cabinet, his fingers brushing over every bottle. “Be careful!”

“Sheesh, have I ever been anything but careful?” he teased, shooting her a very self-satisfied look before continuing his search. “Why don’t you label yours?”

“It adds spice to the whole hangover curing process, don’t you think?” she joked, sitting on her bed as she watched him. “Do you need help?”

“No, I’m fine.” She tried to suppress a smile as his stubborn persona reared its head. “It’s pink, right?”

“Yeah,” she said absentmindedly. Her thoughts were somewhere other than potions--instead thinking of how he’d let her rest her head on his shoulder while they were all talking. It obviously meant nothing--they were just friends--but it still made her heart speed up when she thought about it. 

“Got it.” He shut her cabinet, brandishing a small pink bottle before tossing it into his pocket. “Thanks, Y/N. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Anytime,” she said. If she avoided looking him in the eyes for too long, she could pretend like she didn’t feel disappointment at the fact that his visit to her room would be so brief. When he’d asked the group for Wide-Eye potion, everyone had directed him to her and her signature brew (which was really just Wide-Eye brewed with the essence of mandrake root). She’d let her mind wander to the possibilities of what might happen when they were alone in her room--but that was all drunken fantasy speaking. Just because he let her touch his shoulder didn’t mean he was about to propose.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” He sent her a grin that made her knees weak, turning to leave.

“See you.” 

With that, he was gone.

~

“Think you’re funny, huh?”

Draco’s voice cut through her own pounding head as she sat at the Ravenclaw table with her other equally hungover friends.

“Excuse me?” She whipped around to see him pink with frustration. “Did you even take it?”

“It doesn’t work,” he told her matter-of-factly. “I don’t know how you managed to con all your friends into thinking that you’re some sort of Potions master at the age of 17, but you’re not. I know you’re a fraud.”

“What are you talking about?” Y/N asked. “That potion works. I’ve used it myself.”

“Yeah, it’s magic,” said her fellow Ravenclaw friend, Rena, from across the table. “I actually stole a vial from your cabinet this morning. Never been better. Maybe you’re just ill.”

“Huh?” Y/N asked. “I gave the last vial to Draco last night. There’s no way you could’ve…” The color drained from her face. “Draco, do you still have the bottle from last night? Can you describe the potion to me?”

The realization seemed to dawn upon him as his eyes widened. “No. I threw it out. It just looked like a regular potions bottle. Pink, like you said. Oh, god, did you poison me?”

“You’re still alive, aren’t you?” said Y/N, keeping her tone cavalier despite the fact that she was terrified. “There’s nothing...deadly...in there per se. But it’s not all totally legal for someone like me to have, so we can’t let Pomfrey know about it until I figure out what you took. Or Snape. Especially not Snape.” She shivered.

“So what do you suggest we do?” he drawled.

“Come with me. I’m going to try and figure out what’s missing.”

They didn’t talk much on their way to the Ravenclaw dorms apart from Y/N asking him about his symptoms. As far as she could tell, he was perfectly fine apart from a headache and sensitivity to sound and light--a classic hangover. 

She racked her brain, trying to think about what potion could be in her cabinet that wouldn’t cause ANY effects, even with the combination with alcohol. There was nothing. Quite literally nothing.

“Ok,” she told him as they stood in front of her cabinet. “I want you to tell me the general region where you grabbed it.”

Draco squinted at the bottles, running his fingers over them like he had last night. “To be honest, I hardly remember. It was a blur. Maybe this’ll teach you to put labels on them.”

“Normally I don’t have people ransacking my potions!” she snapped, throwing her hands in the air. “Are you sure you don’t feel anything different from a hangover? Like, at all?”

“No.” 

“Did you even take it?”

“Yes, I’m quite certain I drank a potion you gave to me this morning unless I completely imagined the entire thing,” he said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling and sitting down next to her. “How fucked am I? Should I go to the hospital wing?”

“Worst comes to worst we use a bezoar, but it doesn’t look like you’re in any danger.” She chewed her lip as she thought. “Hang on…you’re absolutely positive it was pink, right? Were there any other colors in it?” 

“Gold flecks.” 

She sprung up, digging through her cabinet and ignoring Draco’s questioning. “This doesn’t make any sense. I think you took my love potion.”

“No way,” he scoffed. “I think I would know if I was under the influence of a love potion.”

“I know. That’s why it doesn’t make any sense,” Y/N said. “But there’s only one potion in here that has gold flecks, and that’s a love potion. And it’s gone. Unless Rena took it--and I think everyone would’ve noticed that by now--it had to have been you.”

“But I feel normal!” he protested, running his hands through his hair. 

“Of course you feel normal,” she chastised. “The whole point of love potions is to convince you that what you’re feeling is natural--oh.”

It hit her. 

He gave her a weird look.

“Got anything you want to confess, Malfoy?” she asked, cocking her head and meeting his eyes. 

“What?”

“Do you know how love potions work?”

“Of course I know how love potions work,” he snapped, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not 12.”

“Care to explain?”

“You’re ridiculous,” he said, but he crossed his legs and continued in a monotone voice as he recited the lesson they’d both heard in 3rd year. “The recipient of a love potion falls into infatuation with the…”

His voice trailed off.

“With the person who gave it to them, yeah?” pushed Y/N. “So if you feel no different, and I was the person who gave it to you..”

Draco just stared.

“Draco, I brewed that potion, and I know that there’s nothing wrong with it,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “You feel normal because--”

“Because I normally feel infatuated with you, yeah,” he cut in, his tone bitter as he rolled his eyes again. “No need to spell it out for me.”

“This is horribly embarrassing for you, huh?” she teased, giving him a shove. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I’ve probably liked you for longer.”

“Well--what?” 

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging as she tucked her legs under her and scooted a little closer. “You don’t honestly think I’d give my last vial to some random classmate, do you?”

“Well, why didn’t you just tell me?” he teased. “I don’t let just anyone fall asleep on my shoulder.”

“I guess we’re both cowards, then,” said Y/N.

“And idiots.”

“I think that’s just you.”

final a/n: i didnt edit this and i wrote this in the middle of what was supposed to be a study session for me whoopsies fdjsa;k 

[hqamore]

boreal star ✵ chapter six

now, he’s pissed off. general kirigan was going to get his sun summoner and blast all of ravka to hell. he was so close to reaching his goals and no one was going to stop him.

chapter genre: action

series pairing: [past?] aleksander morozova (general kirigan) x reader

word count: 2.2k

author’s babble: surprise! so soon? i know. i cranked this chapter because i finally decided how this series would end. enjoy and tell me your thoughts!

here’s the masterlist

three days, you and mal agreed on. you procrastinated for the first two. well, not really procrastinated. you purchased some food and extra layers in balakirev the first day. the second day, you made your way to ryevost. to your misfortune, you were almost caught by aleksander and his merry band of misfits. but, his attention was stolen by teenagers? it was certainly entertaining to see the grisha get outwitted by the bunch.

you waited until you couldn’t detect them anymore. swiftly and careful to hide your face, you made your way to tsibeya on the third day. by high noon, the white forest greeted you with light snowfall. about 5km in, two huddled teens came into view. the crisp sounds of your steps alerted them, their eyes darting to you.

“[y/n]?” alina stepped in front of mal in a defensive position, light drawn at the ready. you surrendered your hands as mal lightly pushed away hers.

“alina, i told you they were coming,” he said.

with some reluctance, the sun summoner lowered her hands and eyed her. “why would baghra send you? you arrived at the palace the same time as i did.”

you smiled, ignoring her question, and strode past them, only pausing for them to follow. mal slung his sack over his shoulder and gave alina’s hand a light squeeze before jogging ahead of you. “i’ll look out for the stag. but, it’d be better for all of us if you answered her questions,” he whispered. “she’s naturally curious and very stubborn.”

you sighed and slowed your pace, matching your strides with alina’s. “baghra and i have a mutual understanding, one that precedes the importance of the second army,” you said.

alina glanced at you warily. “which is?”

“the black heretic cannot gain any more power.”

her lips pursed. “but, you arrived at the same time i did,” she quipped, “and i still can’t do much.”

you offered a dry chuckle. “i guess i picked it up that much faster.”

silence fell between you two, the crunching snow and distance chirps of birds filling the air. you took this opportunity to take in alina’s appearance. she wore ill-fitted clothing that couldn’t have been providing any warmth. her profile was worn, sunken eyes accompanied by an angry blush from the cool temperature. you shrugged your coat off, leaving you in your kefta, and draped it over her shoulders. she looked at you in surprise which made you smile softly.

with this small bridge, you spoke. “it must’ve been difficult escaping the palace without help.”

alina sheepishly smiled as she tugged the coat on, shuddering in the extra warmth. “not really. i just snuck into the trunk of a carriage and waited until it stopped.”

“you snuck into a stranger’s carriage?” you raised in an eyebrow, mirth evident in your eyes.

“not my best idea, but i’m safe now!”

you laughed at her embarrassed look, causing mal to look back. you saw as his lips quirked when his eyes met alina’s blushing face. warmth spread in your heart as you witnessed his loving gaze, almost feeling as if you were intruding on a secret conversation. you peered at alina who just returned mal’s stare with a blinding smile native only to one alina starkov. you envied their relationship, wordlessly intimate and completely trusting. sadness stirred at the bottom of your heart, memories of hushed giggles and longing gazes bubbling. 

all lies, it was.

—

the sun was setting and, luckily, the three of you had already arrived where mal had last seen the stag. mal said he doubted that the stag moved on, leaving you guys to wait around.

brushing some snow off of a log, you sat and hugged your knees closer to conserve some warmth. alina and mal joined you, leaning into each other to share their body heat.

“when we find the stag, i need to be the one to kill it,” alina grimly stated.

mal looked down at her. “you’re a terrible shot. they made you a cartographer for a reason.”

you snickered as alina feigned offense and mal grinned unapologetically. “besides, i thought we weren’t killing it,” the tracker said, glancing at you. alina’s forehead scrunched in confusion when she turned to you.

a puff of fog appeared as you let out a sigh. “we’re not. unless absolutely necessary.”

“if we don’t, kiri—”

“i have a plan, alina,” you interrupted. “all we need to do is guide the stag away. with a combination of your abilities and mine, it’ll be fairly easy.”

“that won’t stop him from finding it,” alina protested.

you gently placed a hand on alina’s head. “that’s why, once we get it out of fjerdan territory, i’m taking it to the wandering isle. the distance will prevent aleksander from coming for it personally and give me more time to work out a permanent solution.”

she stayed silent for a moment, mulling over your plan, before she frowned. “aleksander.”

your head tilted questioningly when her body faced you, a serious look on her face. “how do you know his name?” she asked.

sucking in a deep breath, you realized you had relaxed too soon. her sharp eyes trained on you as you rubbed your face. mal remained confused, leaning forward to observe the two of you.

“it’s difficult not to know the name of your warden,” you replied.

“warden?”

you debated whether or not to tell alina the complete truth, but you threw caution into the wind and exhaled. “my arrival at the palace was not the first time i had been there. some time ago, i actually called that place home. but, one day, i woke up from the false reality and escaped from the place that was, retrospectively, my prison.”

too intelligent, alina connected the dots in record time. “you’re the lover the servants talked about,” she said breathily. “the person baghra thought would change him.”

a bitter smile danced on your lips. “i’m not sure if he loved me as i did him, but i would’ve hung the stars if he asked me to.”

alina clasped your hand in hers, offering a weak smile. you returned it before continuing. “i met him about four-hundred years ago, when he was hiding from the crown. i was young and enchanted. i believed in everything he wanted for grisha and became his willing accomplice.

“when he returned to the palace, i followed. when he locked me in my room, i complied. as naive as i was, i was in love,” you paused to glance at the pair in front of you, reminded of their small moments that paralleled your memories.

“i was in love...” you trailed, staring at your lap as your chest panged dully. you shook yourself out of your daze and cleared your throat. “no matter, i saw him for the crazed tyrant he was and, when i found out you had been discovered, i returned to thwart his plans.”

faint rustling drew mal’s attention away, the tracker slowly stepping towards the source. alina’s eyes followed him as did yours. after a few seconds, he turned. “that way.”

like meerkats, you and alina shot up and crept beside mal. his eyes darted around the clearing you were approaching and, there in all its glory, was the stag. the three of you stopped at a safe distance when it turned to look in your direction.

you started laying out the plan. “okay. alina, you need to—”

“wait,” alina said, stepping forward, with her eyes trained on the stag. “i— i’ve been seeing it in these visions ever since i arrived at the palace. i don’t know why, but i think it’s been trying to reach out to me.”

then, the stag walked towards alina who took several more steps. she gingerly reached her hand out and the stag met her with its snout. light erupted from them and alina let out soft laughs, basking in the warmth of the light. you softly gasped at the sight. it chose—

suddenly, an arrow shot the stag, causing it to lurch away from alina in pain. she tumbled backwards as people rushed in from all sides. mal raised his gun and shot at the bowman, knocking him down. he swiftly notched an arrow in his bow, prepared to shoot the stag, when a strong wind forced it out of his hand. you turned and was faced with a familiar-looking squaller. you loosened gravity’s hold on her and forced her to float. when you were about to fling her away, a grunt sounded behind you.

“mal!”

your focus disappeared; you pivoted to see mal embedded with an arrow, effectively dropping zoya and incapacitating her. you went to help him when an intense pressure hit your chest, your heart beating erratically. it forced you onto your knees next to mal. your heart was pounding in your ear before it stopped.

bright flashes threw off the heartrender and bowman. you greedily breathed in air as alina darted to mal. you could hear the snap of the arrow followed by mal’s agonizing scream. glancing up, your vision slightly blurred, you saw shadows gathering behind you. at the sound of a billowing cloak, you rushed to create a gravitational downforce around you, not allowing anyone to move. you slowly stood up, facing aleksander with a glare.

he let out a haughty laugh. “i should’ve known you would be with her.”

“alina, i need you to get to the stag,” you commanded.

“but, mal! he’s— he’s dying!”

you glanced behind you to see her applying pressure on his wounds. thoughts raced in your mind before settling on one solution. “i promise you he won’t so long as you follow my instructions.”

desperation evident in her eyes, alina could only nod.

“get to the stag and shield us on my count.”

you inhaled deeply. “3, 2, 1!”

alina ran for the stag and created a barrier. you dove under it before it separated you from the others. outside of it, aleksander found himself free to move. creeping closer, he called out. “you can’t save them, alina. you may have the power of light but not the power to heal.”

alina’s resolve wavered as her eyes flicker to mal. “don’t listen to him, alina! i promised you, didn’t i?” you reassured.

alina bit her lip as she kept up the barrier. you made mal float and pulled him closer to the stag. you gently set him down and reached for the stag. it groaned and flailed in protest.

“i know i’m not your chosen, but please. i must heal him and then i can heal you,” you whispered.

the stag quieted and allowed you to touch it. with one hand on the stag, you hovered the other near mal’s wound.

“i’m sorry, mal, but this is gonna hurt like hell.”

you manipulated time on his body. blood slowly returned to the wound whilst the arrow pieced itself together, ripping itself out of him afterwards. mal let out a painful howl before the wound stitches itself back together, like no arrow had been there in the first place. as he recovered, you quickly moved around to the other side of the stag.

“i see you’ve been busy,” aleksander said sharply.

rage gathered in the pit of your stomach when you shot a glare at aleksander. “and you’ve been a complete fool. after all this time, you still can’t get it through your thick skull that morozova’s amplifiers have to choose you,” you spat.

you returned your attention to the stag’s wound. you murmured an apology before you worked on it. it whined through the pain but stilled once you finished. your hands trembled as you shakily pushed yourself off the ground. the stag stirred and stood on its legs, causing alina to follow in suit. you ran your hand through its fur and whispered. “just once more, friend.”

as if it reads your mind, it knelt before alina. you looked at her, mal now standing beside her.

“you two, get on.”

alina gave you a bewildered look. you returned it with a pleading one. without protest, she and mal both mounted the stag. then, it rose, looking towards you. you leaned your forehead against its snout. “take them far from here.”

you stepped to the side and took alina’s hand. “now, i only have so much energy left to keep them here. so, ride fast.”

“what? you’re not coming with us?” alina’s jaw dropped.

you offered her a melancholic smile. “please, if i have to witness anymore of your loving gazes, i’ll become a bitter spinster,” you teased before growing serious. “alina, keep the shield up until you’ve left fjerdan territory. only make it as big as it has to be. mal, you’re going to have to make sure she doesn’t fall off.”

you let go of her hand and gave mal a nod. inching away from them, you approached the center of the field, barely covered by alina’s light. you glanced back and jerked your head, signaling them to leave. you immobilized aleksander and his men once more, allowing alina and mal to slip through and disappear into the winter night. despite your raging headache, you kept your focus until you couldn’t see the light. you collapsed, the snow cushioning your fall. your vision blurred as you heard footsteps approach you.

“we’ll find them eventually.”

you squinted at your former lover. “no, i don’t think you will, aleks.”

aleksander crouched down and whispered in your ear. “i should kill you where you lay.”

“be my guest. you are well within your rights, general kirigan,” you taunted.

he sneered. “out of respect for our past, i won’t. but, you will be my prisoner.”

“what’s new?” you asked before promptly passing out.

taglist (couldn’t tag the ones in bold): @kykymyeon @shelivesindaydreamswme @blackbirddaredevil23 @amortentiaaaa @safetyhtom @savannah-elliott @deceivedeer @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @sarcastic-and-cool @supersouthy @let-love-bleeds-red @andwhatofthelight @all-art-is-quite-useless​ @mixed-imagination​ @ashdab2611​ @aria-grace-scott​ @multifandom-addict​ @aleksanderwh0r3​ @p3nny4urth0ught5​ @kirigansgf​ @evyiione​ @theoutsidelandhere​ @wizardwheezes​ @partiesandblurrypolaroids​ @pansysgirlfriend​ @takethee​ @imrann123456 @rachellovesharry

author’s babble pt.2: ohoho! can you believe they did that? now, you may be wondering why [y/n] is able to manipulate time. it has to do with spacetime being 4 dimensional and the complexity that comes with the concept of gravity. a bit wibbly wobbly timey wimey (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

continue to chapter seven? yes

[hyuuckly]

t o n g u e t i e d

— mark lee x fem!reader

— 0.8k words

— smut

warnings: sub!mark, handjob, cum eating, spitting, finger sucking

mark’s chest was heaving but he tried his best to contain his breathing. it was too hard. your face only a couple millimeters away from his, he could feel your steady breaths fan his lips. your hand slithering down his chest while the other held his chin in place so he couldn’t escape the eye contact nor move back. your lips so close to his, and yet, you havent kissed him once.

he wanted to use his voice and tell you how hot this was, but he felt stuck. instead, he resorted to hushed groans. it was embarrassing how worked up he was from just caressing his chest and toned stomach, he wanted nothing more for your hand to move lower.

you could clearly see the effect you have on the boy, giving you the biggest confidence boost. “you okay there, baby?” your lips barely brushing against his which made him suck in his breath.

giggling, you finally leaned forward and mark shut his eyes as he eagerly waited for your soft lips to finally touch his dry ones. though, you pulled away after one peck, making the boy whine.

the tip of your tongue began to trace the outline of his lips slowly. mark’s eyes fluttered shut at the pleasure of your saliva hydrating his chapped lips. giving the boy some relief, your hand finally reached his bulge, lightly palming it. even the slightest touch makes mark let out a guttural moan. he smiles briefly out of embarrassment when the noise leaves him.

“it’s okay, baby. it’s just me, don’t hold back.”

the blushing boy nods at your words. your lips began to linger down his jaw and neck while your fingers began undoing the buttons of his pants, slowly of course. mark’s head fell back the second his pants were piled down his feet and your hand immediately cupped him over his boxers. “you want me that bad? hmm?” you hummed.

mark repeatedly nods his head, “yes - so bad - please.”

“good boys with good manners get what they want.” you stuck your hand underneath his boxers and moved your hand up and down his impressive length before grabbing it with a firm grip to pull it out of his underwear.

beautiful noises immediately leave the boy when your hand began jacking him off in a slow pace but the tight grip remained. moving back to his lips, you tried to go for a kiss but mark was so caught up with trying to maintain his breathing. his mouth remained opened, giving you the opportunity to nibble on his top and bottom lips, licking it occasionally.

your hand moved faster and your grip became vice, his moans became louder and shameless. your tongue continued to swipe across his lips, licking them off as if they were your favorite ice cream. mark’s eyes were droopy and his vision began to blur when your thumb applied pressure on his slit, picking up his pre-cum and placing your thumb inside his mouth.

he eagerly welcomed your thumb and immediately sucked on it, swirling his tongue around it imagining it was your nipple. “good fucking boy, markie.”

you removed your thumb from his mouth and cupped your hand in front of him, signaling to spit on it. being so obedient, he got the message and did so. your lips were back on his, sucking on his bottom lips while your hand went back to jerking him off. this time was easier and messier, mark felt his climax approaching quickly at the wet feeling. he managed to speak between his broken moans, “i’m so close.”

“hmm? you can cum whenever, babyboy.” mark tried to lean in for a kiss but you moved back, raised your eyebrow at him. the boy pouted and stayed still like before, your tongue entered his opened mouth and played with his. obviously yours was more dominant since mark felt his energy draining.

out of nowhere, you smash his lips against his finally giving what he wants and sped your motions on his aching cock. you refused to pull away from the kiss, swallowing all of his moans as he came on your hand. your hand continued it’s movements and you felt a tear brush your cheek. gradually stopping your hand movements, mark continued to whimper into your mouth until your hand and lips were completely off of him.

you brought your hand up to your mouth and began eating his cum while looking straight into his eyes, mark gulped as he watched you.

you licked the last string and gave the boy a kiss. “you did so good, baby.” he collapsed backward on the bed, grabbing your waist to bring you down with him. you giggle when he pulls you closer so you could cuddle, “always so needy.”

mark could no longer speak, not after you had made him lose his mind from just a handjob and goddamn kitten licks on his lips.

you moved your fingers through his hair as he cuddled to your side, breathing peacefully. what a sight. mark lee bunched into a fetal position with a natural pout on his lips as he drifted off to sleep.

—

*inspired by this video, enjoy ;)

[your-highnessmarvel]

From Bleak to Bright - Part Fourteen

All other parts on on my masterlist, link provided below.

AN:  okay so this is where the denouement makes everyone extremely mad at me, but oh well, i couldn’t make it easy for you now could i ;)

Warnings: angst, language

MASTERLIST - SERIES MASTERLIST

PART FOURTEEN

It was two days after Loki and you had confirmed that you’d be leaving - more like running away - on Friday. Loki said he’d bring you across the world, wherever you wished, and had offered outer space travel only if you felt safe. Albeit, space travel with Loki sounded fun, you weren’t truly there yet.

He came by, spending a few hours, but leaving in the wee hours of morning to prepare for your departure. Securing flights and drivers and new identities and all. 

How you trusted him so completely without knowing him more than a handful of days, you had no idea. Maybe the two years of agony you’d spent away from him? The sudden reappearance and the way your world seemed to shift into focus when he was around? Whatever it was that made you trust the God of Mischief and Lies, it was sure as hell potent. 

You were all packed now. You had bags full of jeans and underwear and shoes and cosmetics. He’d instructed you only to bring the necessities, but it seemed like you were scared to run out of L’OREAL mascara.  

Loki had mentioned sandy beaches and hot tropics, and you’d mentioned forests and mountain sides. Wherever your haven was, you knew it would be home simply by Loki’s presence. 

The buzzer sounded and it brought you out of your reverie of the future, jarring you back to the reality where you still had to wait a few more days. 

You went to the buzzer. “Who is it”? you asked.

“It’s Bruce!”

Your heart rattled in your chest. 

“I brought fish and chips!” He sounded genuinely happy, the normal brother to come and drop off food when he knows his baby sister is off work. Because he knew you were lonely.

Well, not so lonely anymore, but Bruce didn’t know that. 

You buzzed him up, closing you bedroom door so he wouldn’t see your packed bags. 

You tried to look natural. What was natural for you anyway? Sad. Bored. Monosyllabic. 

Bruce walked in holding two cardboard boxes filled with greasy newspaper, handing it off to you while he took off his jacket. “You look well!” he said, mouth in a wide grin. He saw the effects of you being near your soulmate. He could see the glow of your skin, your eyes wide and awake, your smile real. 

He thought you were just getting over Loki. 

“I’m fine,” you said with a corner smile, bringing the food to the kitchen. 

“I’m just going to use the bathroom real quick,” he said, galloping off. 

You took the food out of the wrapping, settling it in dishes, the smell warm and tasty. You took out two glass bottles of Perrier and put metal straws, topping off your presentation with utensils. 

Bruce came out of the bathroom with a frown. “Why is your bathroom empty?” he asked. 

You could feel your heart dropping, but you schooled your features.

“I did a huge clean up and I put everything in my room,” you said, turning and pretending to store some glasses in the cupboard. “Must have just forgotten to put them all back.”

When you turned to face your brother, he was nodding, but that PhD brain was working; you could practically see the wheels turning in his brain. 

You sat at the counter, your elbow brushing his. “How was your week?” you asked, mostly to distract him. If he pondered too long, he just might come to the right conclusion.

But everyone thought Loki was dead, right? 

You swallowed thickly, suddenly unable to indulge in the food your mouth had watered over just a few seconds ago.

“Yeah,” Bruce said, shaking his head, taking a seat beside you. “It was... intriguing.”

“How so?” You dug into your fries, trying to be as normal as ever, glad the conversation was erring away from your empty bathroom. 

“Tony’s been trying to build this AI,” Bruce started, toying around with his fries. “He’s asked me to join him.”

Your brows raised and you just hoped you weren’t displaying too much emotion to put him off. “That sounds awesome.”

Bruce shrugged. “It’s a project.”

You both ate your food in quiet chitchat. Bruce indulged you in Tony’s new plan, on the ongoings of the Avengers, and how many schools had begged to get Bruce in on the staff. You had nothing as flamboyant as that, but you told him about your work and where you’d stopped to get coffee at a new place around the corner.

You absolutely ignored the nagging, tall and dark presence in the back of your mind.

Bruce left rather quickly, claiming he wanted to get back to Tony. You found it a little strange the way he scurried out of your apartment, barely remembering his jacket. You chalked it up to good old Bruce and his anxiety.

You clean up the place, making sure to put everything back in its place. You didn’t want to leave rotting dishes for whoever it was to find you missing. 

You felt strange, as if your encounter with your brother was more. As if the world was telling you something. Maybe you should have said a sort of goodbye? No. Bruce was way too smart. He would have seen you coming and he’d have asked all the right questions to get you to spill. 

Maybe it was just that you were leaving in a few days, for a long time, and that this was quite possibly the last time you’d ever see your brother. You hadn’t even hugged him. He’d just scurried out like there was a fire in his pants. 

You’d written him a goodbye letter that you’d planned on leaving under your pillow the night you left. It was filled with reasons why he shouldn’t come after you, mainly that you were happy. 

Because you were! Loki settled all the storms raging in your veins. He quieted the winds and soothed the seas. His presence was like slipping into well fitting gloves. It was meant to be. And you’d be damned if they wouldn’t let you be with the only man you wanted to be with. 

Loki walked in as you were staring out the window. The door clicked shut just as his arms encircled your waist, warm and steady. His nose pressed into the curve of your neck, and his scent invaded your senses. He was a solid block at your back, making your heart beat erratic in your chest. 

“You’ve been worrying,” he said, his voice rough. 

The way he knew you so well was sometimes worrisome. 

“Bruce has been here.”

“Ah.” He pulled away, putting his hands on your shoulders and spinning you until he was the one with his back to the window. “Was it goodbye?”

You nodded. “I didn’t say goodbye, like you said,” you answered, feeling the thickness of emotion rising in your throat. “But it was quite possibly the last time I see him.”

Loki smoothed his hands onto your cheeks, using his thumb to wipe the wet corners of your eyes. “For a while,” he said, his voice a whisper. “I promise you will see him again.”

“He was acting to strange too,” you said. “He was talking about his new project with Tony and all, and I just chalked it up to his anxiety, but it was weird the way he left.”

You felt Loki stiffen, his eyes hardening as he bore his stare into yours. “What did he say?” he asked, a muscle in his jaw ticking. 

You looked up at him, frowning, trying to read into his mind, but like always, Loki’s inner monologue was but a mystery to you. 

“Something about an AI,” you answered. “Or whatever. But he left a while ago.”

Loki seemed to ponder for an instant, but his entire body was rigid under your fingers. 

“Did he leave anything behind?” he asked, and he pulled away from you, walking to your kitchen. 

“No,” you said, putting your hands in your back pockets. “He left his food but I threw that away. No leftovers for you.” Your weak attempt at humor didn’t even make Loki laugh. 

He went to the counter where you and Bruce had sat, passing his index on the countertop. He was frowning deeply, black curls pushed messily behind his ears. You took a good look at him then, his dark blue sweater and black slacks, the way the colors made him look cold but you, of all people, knew intimately the warmth of his flesh. 

“What is it?” you asked, watching him skim the surface of the stools, brows pulled in concentration.

Then his hand flexed and he stopped. He bent slowly, passing his hand under the counter. When he straightened back up, he was holding what looked to be a little aluminum ball. 

“Dust?” you asked, taking a few steps forward.

“Shit.” His shoulders tensed and he crushed the little ball between his index and his thumb. “Microphone.”

The word seemed to buzz all over your skin, making your heart throb painfully against your throat. “What?” It was a whisper and you froze, watching the way Loki looked back over your shoulder to the window, throwing the crushed device to the floor.

“We must leave at once,” he said, springing into action. He left you standing like a statue in the kitchen as he ran for your room, throwing the door open. You heard him shuffling about, grabbing a few bags and then hurrying back. He shoved a bag strap into your hand. “Y/N.” He shook you slightly, his gaze darting from your face to the window. “We must lave right now. They know.”

You grabbed onto the strap, but your grasp was weak. Your knees felt like jell-o. 

“I don’t have the Tesseract,” Loki said, grabbing your free hand and hauling you towards the door. “So we must get to the plane. Are you listening?”

You nodded, but his words were just that - words. They occupied the space between the both of you, and as he hauled you out into the corridor, the world shifted to a blur.

You both tumbled down the stairs, you gripping onto his hand, him looking back every so often to make sure you were alright. At the bottom of the staircase, he took you by the jaw and kissed you harshly. The wind was knocked from your lungs and you clung to him so desperately. 

“I will never leave you,” he panted against your mouth. “Never again.”

That promise returned the fire to your limbs, the air to your lungs, and you nodded, giving him a determined look. “I’m with you,” you whispered, and he smirked, bringing his mouth back down to yours for another breathtaking kiss. 

“I’m with you,” he uttered, grabbing your hand once more and pushing open the door, daylight seeping in. 

You tumbled onto the sidewalk and halted. 

There was a man standing there, leaning against a car, arms crossed over his chest.

Bruce. 

MORE SMEXY TIMES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! Any ideas where this is going? I’m telling you, this looks hopelessssssss ;)

Tags:  @subtlemalice @yallgotkik @buckyandlokirunmylife @kaz11283 @legolas-bromance @shylittlemountain @tofeartheunknown @feelmyfckngsoul @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @caffiend-queen @tomhollandsslilslut @lady-loki-ren @nathan-no @rosaline-black @abundanceofcarolines @my-own-oracle @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @marvelouslovely @drbaureid @bored-as-hell-666 @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @theinfinitenerd @toe-vind-ek-jou @ink-and-starlight @blank-bakabane @sunshineonloki @holaamishamigos @palegoopbearlight @heyarely16 @pleaseexecuteme @athalahild @help-i-need-a-social-life @tapismyforte @coloursforyourportrait @celestialstarshadow @fukyouthink @lust-for-pan @thic-thor @winchescumberholland @morganmofresh @dazedkrosupreme @postsbyjenipeo  @copper-boom @jesuswasnotawhiteman

[babyflossy]

long overdue | l.dh

pairing: haechan x reader

requested: yes! sorry this took so long :(

summary: when you move back home after a few years apart, haechan starts to see you in a different light, and eventually the tension between you overpowers your worries about ruining your friendship.

genre/warnings: bestfriend to lovers au, smut (dirty talk, slight overstim if you squint?), fluff

word count: 4k

since your first day of elementary school, donghyuck had been your best friend. on that very first day, he had shared his animal crackers with you on the playground bench when you'd dropped yours, and you'd been inseparable ever since. even when your parents moved you away for the majority of middle school, you talked over the phone, you'd even sent each other handwritten letters through the post until donghyuck got his first phone.

the summer before high school started, your parents decided it was best to move back, and suddenly things were different between you and donghyuck. for one, he'd adopted haechan as a nickname, which you couldn't deny suited him more than you'd ever admit, but those four years had seen a lot of changes in the both of you. changes you couldn't ignore.

that stupid smirk he was always wearing was one. the growth-spurt and the jawline and the attractive shape of his shoulders had just been the things you noticed first, let alone the flirty humour he was so comfortable with. nevertheless, the two of you fell back into your old best-friend ways since elementary school; ice cream on fridays, although now they were at two in the morning instead of the afternoon, burgers at the diner on wednesdays because wednesdays are the worst day of the week.

these thoughts cross your mind once again as the boy in question slides into the chair opposite you in the cafeteria, pushing a tray towards you. "they had fries," is the only thing he says to you before he turns to jaemin and starts talking quietly about how they're going to cheat on their chemistry test. you murmur a thank you, picking a few up and stuffing them into your mouth as you continue your conversation with mark, your replacement whilst you were gone, as hyuck had so elegantly put it.

"are you coming to lucas' party tonight?" he asks, stealing some of the fries in front of you before you can swat his hand away. opposite you, haechan has blocked jaemin's voice out of his head so he can hear your answer, hating the way his heart skips a beat in anticipation. these parties were nothing new, you went to almost every single one, but haechan never got used to the clothes you wore, so much more revealing than the ones you to school. it was undeniable in those moments the way his cheeks flushed at the sight of you.

when he had first noticed these thoughts about you, he had been terrified. you were his childhood friend, how could he think of you as anything more than that? surely it would break the two of you apart if he so much as mentioned it to you? over the years since you moved back, however, the two of you had fallen into a comfortable state of flirtatiousness. he would say something suggestive and you would simply laugh and retort with a quip equally as witty. it was second nature, now; the longing glances, the way your hands brushed together when you walked side by side, the way his heart fluttered whenever you stole his hoodies, but only the ones that still smelt of him. your voice brings him back to the present.

"as if i would miss a party," you laugh, and the sound seems brighter every time to haechan, "are you driving everyone?" when mark shakes his head you raise your eyebrows in question and he nods to jeno, the dedicated sober friend for this week. the one good thing about not having your driver's license is that you were never denoted to that role.

as the school day comes to a close you meet haechan outside the back entrance, ready to walk home. the proximity of your houses meant it was always convenient for you both to walk home together, and it made haechan feel better to see you get home safe, he would never tell you that, though. he stands to the side of the crowd streaming out the door and waves you over when he spots your head in the sea of pupils. you shoot him a sunny smile that has his heartbeat pumping in his eardrums.

"you ready, princess?" the familiar smirk is present and you roll your eyes at the nickname, not allowing him the satisfaction of knowing how much it affected you, "you going home after tonight?" he asks as you break out the school car park and onto the pavement, steps falling into rhythm.

"i'm not sure yet, i doubt i'll be able to sneak back in," you scrunch your nose in contemplation, weighing up your options, "i'll probably tell my parents i'm staying at yeri's or something."

you miss the frown that settles on his face, "and stay at lucas'? alone?" haechan tries not to show how much he doesn't like that idea. lucas was a good person, he knows, but he would worry about you no matter who's house you would stay at. it was just part of your relationship at this point.

"yeah?" you stare at him in confusion, oblivious to the way his eyes flicker away when you try to meet his gaze. "what, you want me to come and sleep with you?" as soon as the words left your mouth you realised the second meaning to them and tried to ignore how your face blazed. it was your turn to avoid his eyes as you tried to pretend you had meant that word choice.

"if that's what you want, babygirl," a wink punctuates his words and heat spreads through you. you roll your eyes at him again.

jeno had, as promised, come to collect you from your house, laughing as you ran through your garden to avoid being spotted by your parents. jeno's car is smaller than mark's, all the seats already taken, but before you can ask where you're supposed to sit he presses on the accelerator. hands come to brace you as you nearly fall and your placed onto someone's lap. you can tell it's haechan from the expensive cologne that overwhelms your senses, the warm hands on your waist maintaining their position even after jeno's driving at a normal speed again.

the drive to lucas' house is short but bumpy and you grasp the seat in front of you to stop the jostling. when the car speeds over a bump haechan's fingers dig into your sides, his forehead falling onto your shoulder. you try and turn around to face him but his hands dig in further, stopping you from moving anymore. just as you're about to ask him what's wrong you feel a hardness pressing against the inside of your thigh and your eyes widen.

the flirty jokes you always exchanged meant something, you knew, but the feeling of him underneath you makes you heat up. you're frozen for a moment before a wave of smugness washes through you. haechan was always the one to make you flustered, and to know you had the same effect on him was something you wouldn't forget.

when the car finally stops in front of lucas' house, the others pile out before you two and you face him, raising your eyebrows. you open your mouth to tease him but he beats you to it, "fuck off." is all he says before he stalks towards the front door. you have to jog to keep up with him.

"really? in the car?" haehan rolls his eyes but the blush on his cheeks and the darkness in his eyes is obvious.

"if you weren't wiggling your ass, this wouldn't have happened–"

"i was not wiggling my ass, it's not my fault you're just needy," he stops walking at your words and spins around to face you, eyes narrowed in a look you assume is supposed to be intimidating. it's kinda hot, though, you think.

"i am not needy!" the laugh you let out only seems to upset him further and he takes a step towards you, "i can show you what needy is–"

"are you guys coming or what?" jaemin shouts from the doorway and haechan’s eyes flicker away from you to glare at him. before you can get another word out he’s walking as fast as he can away from you, shoulders squared of defensively. you can hear the pounding music from the house and you decided to forget about his attitude for the night and have as much fun as you can.

five drinks in and haechan is the last thing on your mind. the harsh liquid had burned at first but as lucas offers you a sixth you don't feel it slip down your throat. he grins and you match it, head spinning and vision blurring, the bassline of the music pounding in your ears. lucas has always been a great host, and he laughs at the way stumble from the kitchen counter he sits on. litres upon litres of free alcohol fills the table in front of you and you reach for a colourful blue bottle that fizzes when you twist the top off. he passes you a red plastic cup and the drink spills over the sides as you try and pour it, lucas' laugh piercing through your head which starts throbbing with the beginnings of a headache.

as if he can sense the state you're in, jeno appears in your line of sight, head shaking disapprovingly. you put up a fight when he takes the cup out of your hand and tips it down the sink but give up quickly when jeno shoots you a stern stare. lucas has already slinked off back to his living room where the rest of the guests reside, hands waving at people as a pretty brunette pulls him to the corner of the room. "you're already drunk, y/n."

"no i'm not," you insist but you can hear the way they slur together. the sound of them is foreign to your ears and they make you giggle, the sixth shot you had taken moments before starting to take effect. when you try and walk towards the drink's table your knees buckle under you and jeno has to catch you to stop you falling to the floor.

"this is why i hate being the sober friend," he mumbles as he sets you down on the floor to prevent you from hurting yourself, pulling your hands away when they reach to pull on his hair, muttering about his hair colour.

"now that, i whole-heartedly agree with," the new voice belongs to johnny, who frowns in amusement at the position you're in, giggling hysterically at jeno's hair. "hyuck's in a similar shape, we just put him upstairs in the spare room."

"can you help me take her up? she can't walk properly." their conversation falls on deaf ears to you and you're staring at everything in the kitchen and yet nothing at all as they both take one of your arms, hoisting you into an upright position. standing up, you last all but five seconds on your own before you put all your weight into them and allow yourself to be carried up the stairs.

true to johnny's word, haechan is sat on the edge of the bed, head between his knees whilst jaehyun crouches to talk to him, rubbing his back with a sympathetic smile on his face.

you call out when you see him, "haechannie!" and his head shoots up at the sound of your voice, all the darkness of his eyes from earlier dissipated.

"y/n!" johnny and jeno place you carefully on the bed next to him and meet jaehyun by the door to watch you. haechan's arm is already around your shoulder, your head planted on his shoulder, unclear if you're passed out already or not.

"where are they staying?" jaehyun asks, eyes not leaving the pair in front of him, grimacing when you bump heads with each other.

"i think here?"

"you really wanna leave them alone like this?" johnny questions as he watches you press kisses to the side of haechan's neck, turning to face him.

jeno considers his options for a moment. leave the two of you alone drunk and clearly ready to omit any rational thoughts, or stay here and try to keep you off each other. or, he supposes, he could bribe someone else to do it for him. yes, that's what he'll do. he'll find jaemin.

once the others leave and you're left alone, hands are immediately on your waist, pulling you into a kiss. haechan rubs his thumbs into the exposed skin of your middle, pressing his lips to yours in such a desperate manner you can do nothing but sit and kiss back. the hands pull you onto his lap and you waste no time threading your fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss, subconsciously grinding your hips down onto him.

"i've wanted to do this for ages," he moans into your neck, fingers hastily skimming over your skin, trying to touch you everywhere at once.

"i told you you were needy," the reminder does nothing to halt his actions, accepting your words with nothing but a hum, hands now making their way up your shirt to the clasp of your bra.

just as he's battling with the article of clothing, the door shoots open again and you fall off his lap and onto the matress. jaemin walks in, snickering at nothing and plops himself in between you on the bed, head falling onto haechan's shoulder.

"hi guys!" the tone of his voice gives away just how much he's drunk already, and you eye haechan over jaemin's mop of blue hair, pouting in disappointment.

a pounding head greets you in the morning and even though you and haechan both remember what had happened the night before, neither of you can stop blushing for long enough to bring it up. so you don't, the fear of ruining your friendship too great a risk for you.

it's a hot summer day and you meet haechan and jeno along with jaemin and renjun at the ice cream shop near your house. it's a brightly decorated new place that offers a mammoth selection of different toppings, which is partly the reason you get bullied when you choose an ice lolly instead. in your defense, it was boiling outside and ice cream is dehydrating.

haechan is cursing every god he knows of as you sit opposite him in the booth, lips wrapped so prettily around your ice lolly. he blinks harshly when you lick the side to stop the juice dripping onto your hand, still talking to renjun. in front of him sits the tub of ice cream he previously been so excited to try and yet now he can't seem to eat it, thoughts elsewhere.

in his head, he curses himself for thinking like this, for thinking about how amazing your lips would feel wrapped around his–

"dude are you okay? you're staring at your ice cream like it holds the secrets to the universe." jeno's laugh cuts through his mind and his cheeks burn. he nods wordlessly, searching for something, anything, else to think of, instead of the blood rushing straight to his dick.

later that same day, when he's back in his bedroom alone, you're the only thought that crosses his mind. he thinks about that night at lucas' party, how you had both been so ready to forget anything holding you back, he thinks about the car ride there, how cocky you had been when he got hard from you sitting on his lap. it was clear you felt the same way, at least, he hoped you did.

in your own bedroom, you're having a similar crisis to your best friend. it hadn't been easy to ignore to way he was staring at you earlier, you had even exaggerated your eating just to tease him. you wondered if he wanted you just as bad as you wanted him. maybe you should ask. no, that was too risky. you needed something less obvious.

"you wanna come over to watch that new movie? i'm bored."

haehcan reads the words over and over again, trying to decipher any ulterior motives you might have, yet again that may just be him wishing for some. he takes a moment to reply, choosing his response carefully, even though he knew immediately he would be saying yes.

"sure, when?"

"tonight?"

once you had confirmed a meeting time, haechan had but two hours to compose himself. he didn't know what to expect, after all, you could have invited him over simply to watch the movie, however much he hoped that was only a cover. a cover for an empty apartment, and some suppressed desires.

when you open your front door, you're already worked up enough. it takes all the self restraint in you to not pounce on the boy in front of as soon as he steps into your hallway. he seems to be having a similar internal debate and you feel the air shift as he drops his bag next to your door, stepping towards you.

neither of you want to make the first move, the tension growing until you can’t stand in anymore, reaching towards him, knotting your fingers behind his neck and pulling him down to you. he closes the gap between you, lips smashing against yours in such desperation you would tease him if you didn’t feel the same way.

“where?” he mumbles against your lips, hands gripping up and down your sides.

“bedroom.” is all you reply before he wraps his arms around your waist, shuffling the both of you into your bedroom and shutting the door with his foot. he pushes you onto the bed and you let yourself fall, hair splaying out underneath you in a way he likes maybe too much.

his body follows yours and he slots between your legs perfectly, hands reclaiming their grip on your middle, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt. wherever his fingers slide over, goosebumps rise in their wake, sending shivers through you at their coldness.

your lips return to his and you tilt his head up to deepen the kiss, only breaking away to press open-mouthed kisses to the space under his ear, relishing in the way his breathing hitches in his throat. the kisses trail down his neck to his collarbone, biting down before sucking the area into your mouth. haechan lets out a sinful moan that goes straight to your core.

as soon as you pull you lips away from his body he pulls your shirt over your head, cursing at the lack of underwear, gaze locking in on the swell of your breasts, nipples hard in the cold air. “you had such a hard time taking it off last time,” you reason into his ear, pulling the lobe into your mouth and pulling before continuing, “i thought i would save you the trouble.”

“fuck, baby, you’re so hot,” his words are silenced by the moan you let out when his fingers come to toy with your nipples, rolling one between his digits. you can’t help but arch into him, legs closing around the thigh spreading them apart. it’s clear you’re already so turned on that haechan almost pities you as you grind against his thigh. “so hot, and needy it seems.”

“haechan,” you moan, hands coming to tug on his own shirt, pulling the material over his head and throwing it somewhere else in the room. “i need you so bad.”

“i know, baby,” he cooes, dropping his mouth to envelope your nipple in between his lips, “i’ll take care of you, don’t worry, princess.” the filthful nature of his words make your body heat up, the coldness of fingers now toying with the waistline of your shorts so much more noticeable.

the shorts are removed quickly, your panties following quickly. before you can process what he’s doing, his fingers are spreading your lips apart, lips blowing on your clit to watch the way you clench around nothing. you shiver, hands moving to grip his hair.

after admiring your pussy for a moment, he licks a thick stripe from your hole to your clit, stopping to suck the bud into his mouth, hands coming to press you into the matress when you buck up into him. his tongue laps over your most sensitive spot and he rubs your wetness over his fingers before pushing one into you, moaning at the tightness of your walls. the vibrations of his moan travel straight through your clit and you let out a shameful whine.

after working his finger in you for a few moments, he adds a second, closely followed by a third as he continues his assault on your clit. your moans are loud and non-stop, only stopping to warn him how close you are.

“cum on my tongue, babygirl,” the dirty words dripping from his tongue push you over the edge and you let go with a cry, tugging on the strands of haechan’s hair so hard it nearly hurts him.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” is all you can say as haechan makes his way back up your body, pressing his lips back to yours. on his tongue, you can taste the sweetness of your own cum and you move away from him only to tug his bottom lip in between your teeth, pulling then sucking on it to numb the pain.

you make quick work of his jeans, helping him out of them and chucking them to the floor, shortly followed by his own underwear. from his view, you look stunning, eyes hooded and blown out with lust, lips red and wet from kissing, bruised almost.

he doesn’t say anything as he lines himself up with your enterance, rocking his hips forwards and filling you completely. the pleasure is almost too much for you, still sensitive from your orgasm only minutes prior, eyes rolling back at the way he fills you so well. haechan’s head falls to your shoulder as he gives himself a moment to calm down, biting into your shoulder when he pulls out to the tip.

“you take me so well, baby,” the words are hot in your ear, his breath fanning down your neck, “look at you, all spread out for me.”

you wrap your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself as he pushed back in, moaning into your shoulder at the feeling of you around him, tight, wet, hot. he can sense he won’t last long as he sets a fast pace, chasing his own high.

to make up for his fast-approaching orgasm, he takes your ankle into his hand, pulling your leg up to rest over his shoulder, the new angle allowing him to hit every sweet spot possible. the feeling leaves you paralyzed in pleasure, unable to do anything but chant his name.

“i’m gonna cum,” you mumble against him, whining out when his thumb comes down to rub fast circles on your clit.

“fuck,” haechan’s eyes are screwed shut and the sight is so other-wordly beautiful it almost makes you tear up. “i’m cumming.”

his hips stutter and the feeling of his cum filling you, some leaking onto the tops of your thigs, pushes you over the edge. your back arches as you cum over his cock, his hips still easing the both of you through your highs.

when you’ve calmed down, chest heaving as the aftershocks of your second orgasm ripple through you, he pulls out, wincing at the first flicker of overstimulation. he turns and presses a gentle kiss to your ankle, rubbing the fingers of his other hand over your cheekbone, relishing the fucked out expression on your face. he thinks this is the most beautiful you’ve ever looked, so exhuasted underneath him, sweat glistening over your skin.

“that was–”

“long overdue.”

he laughs an agreement out, falling next to you on the bed and lacing your fingers together. “we should watch movies together more often.”

a/n: the only thing i have to say is yikes at this point.

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding X

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV - - - - - Part V - - -  - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII - - - - - Part IX

“I realize this is incredibly difficult,” the Nautolan Soul Healer said calmly. “But in order for us to help Obi-Wan, we need to determine the cause of his current disconnection with reality. Based on the drug panel, and convenient surveillance, we have, to the best of our ability, ruled out temporary psychosis brought on by a drug interaction.”

Cody stiffened further, not sure how to react to anything anymore. When a brother tried to end his own life, it was usually obvious why.

Sife Aerdo continued on. “There have, of course, been cases of Jedi Seers giveing into their fears of the future, or losing their sense of reality, but every case study involving such an extreme reaction was the result a gradual degradation over the course of many years. Nevertheless, it seems clear that Obi-Wan experienced a vision, and it may have impacted his breakdown to some extent. The more we know, the more successful any attempts to convince him of reality will be.”

Bant furrowed her brow in thought, trying to replay three decades of increasingly vague discussions of nightmares.

”Considering the high profile nature of his position, we cannot rule out some kind of psychological attack, perhaps even a darksider incursion.

Anakin leaned forward intently, the inside of his skull buzzing with white noise.

"All that being said, we must be prepared to treat Obi-Wan’s self harm as the  culmination of a long and quiet mental health struggle. He would not be the first in the Order to disguise such a thing with durasteel self-discipline.”

At that, Bant and Mace took a moment to release their feelings to the force, while Anakin raised his shields defensively.

Master Aerdo finally hesitated, before continuing in the same smooth tone. “I would ordinarily prefer to structure this kind of conversation quite differently- allow Obi-Wan time to share his feelings first and invite you each separately to support him in the healing process. But he’s gone from fighting sedatives and force compulsions as though the fate of the galaxy depended on it, to a self-induced coma. All while barely lucid, yet still somehow maintaining Master Class mental shielding. We need to get a better understanding of his mental landscape if we’re going to even begin the process of treatment."

It is necessary to note that everyone in that room had led, in one way or another, a somewhat miserable life. This was the main reason none of them could claim that the next five hours were the worst they had ever experienced. 

“But he’s always had terrible sleeping habits.” Anakin said hoarsely.

“Yes, but I think they got worse after Qui-Gon passed,” Bant argued, not sure what point she was making. 

“When I pointed out he couldn’t be getting more than three hours a night he told me that he could manage on meditation” Cody offered irritably.

“That’s technically true,” Mace confirmed. “If the Master in question is well-balanced otherwise”

“So its like his eating habits, crushing responsibilities, and repeated exposure to violence, then? Completely fine for a Jedi, in less it’s not, in which case it’s a major red flag?” 

“I think it would help to establish a timeline.“

Aerdo actually dredged up old mission reports, leading to the group reluctantly contacting Ashoka for her memories of Mortis.

At her Master’s insistence, she told them everything she remembered, hazy as it was, nervously elaborating on her own memories of falling. To her confusion, Master Windu all but brushed past that, assuring her that the important thing with stepping into darkness was the choice to the return to the light. Anakin bizarrely agreed with Windu. Out loud. Unnerved by the cooperation more than anything, she put her holographic foot down and demanded to know what was going on. 

Anakin took the comm-link into a separate room to speak privately.

Upon return, he informed the group (with a visibly red and puffy face) that Kit would be escorting her back from Mount Cala cleanup early, daring anyone to disagree. Windu nodded and the conversation continued on.

Together they rewatched holo-footage of Obi-Wan laughing amongst Ghost company the night before last, and debated reports from psychometric investigators who had scoured the cantina as well as Obi-Wan’s personal quarters for traces of illicit substances. Between that and another drug panel, they were finally forced to conclude that despite the timing, the alcohol at most confused Obi-Wan’s perception of a vision, or possibly simply loosened his tongue.

Bant prodded Cody to repeat every word from the holocar ride to the temple, taking furious notes. Cody was unable to stop the heat that crawled up his face.

Just when the looming horror of Obi-Wan actually preparing to intentionally die started to break over Anakin, Windu interjected.

“You don’t see what I do,” the Harun Kal said grimly. “Something galaxy-sized shattered around Obi-Wan and he didn’t break from it. The closest comparison I have is Master Yaddle’s presence when she meditated on her confinement. He’s chosen to keep going, even when, quite frankly, death would be a release. We’re missing something fundamental.”

“He said there were ‘other dark forces at work.’ Even if the fight was objectively hopeless... there’s no way he would choose to die because of it!” Anakin agreed vehemently, shaking off morbid fears.

“But he did choose to die.” Cody said quietly. And the wind went out of Anakin’s sails.

“Lets go back.”

Anakin gritted his teeth as they picked apart everything ‘unusual’ Obi-Wan had said and done leading up to his visit with Bant.

“What exactly did he...”

“So Plo Koon was able to get a read through his shields?”

“Did he have anything to eat?”

“How did that compare to...”

“When he's mentioned things in the future...did it seem good or bad to you?” Bant asked.

“Bad.” Cody and Anakin said in unison. Remembering the trip to the temple Cody spoke again, “Definitely bad.”

“Right. When we were talking he sometimes used the wrong tenses for things, people. I confronted him on not knowing ‘when’ he was after Knight Skywalker left. He told me that he knew what was real, but he was “enjoying not fully living in the moment” he also said that he intended to “wake up”

“Enjoying? That’s the exact word he used?” Cody asked incredulous. 

“He did seem...mostly happy yesterday. Giddy, at points.” Anakin said, slumping in on himself.

Bant looked at her notes once more before addressing the group.

“This isn’t vision psychosis in any manner I’ve heard of before...but I think I might have a theory. He used to have intense visions when we were kids; plenty of us did sometimes, but Obi-Wan would be unable to sleep after. What terrified him more than anything was the uncertainty that he might make the wrong choice- even when the vision was about something good, or neutral. His visions gradually stopped coming around puberty. We just had a conversation about this a few months ago- how relieved he was to only have to manage flashes of precognition. If he had a random, horrifying vision of a terrible future...suicide wouldn’t be his reaction. It’s too final.”

“Even if he blamed himself for what he saw coming?” Mace asked.

“Especially if he blamed himself.” Bant said. 

“What’s your theory?” Aerdo prodded.

“What if...what if he was telling the truth when he said he could separate out what was real and what was not? What if there was no distortion or blurring between now and then? What if he was just wrong about which was which?”

“That...would be a very extreme and abnormal manifestation of force-induced psychosis. He has training in distinguishing reality from visions. The continued presence of his mental shielding means that the fabric of his mind can’t be so horrifically collapsed in on itself.” 

“What if the vision was actually that realistic?” Bant said, pushing back against the soul healer. “So detailed and vivid that it effectively was a reality in itself, and everything else, all of us...”

“Were just memories” Anakin finished. “It would...actually explain pretty much everything. You said he wanted to wake up and when...when I found him.” He stopped, swallowing. “When I found him, he argued with me...what if he wasn’t trying to hurt himself? If you’re right...that would mean I found him trying to get back to reality.”

“It could explain his behavior in the halls...his desperation to wake...” Sife mused “But it runs counter to every other experience I’ve had with those managing prophetic visions. Master Windu, could that explain the shatterpoints you saw?”

“I’m not certain. It would have to have been extraordinarily real to create the echos of Shattering I witnessed. I don’t know if that depth of vision has occurred before, but then again, many things are possible in the force.”

“You really think he might have been...trying to wake up from dream? By killing himself?!” Cody asked incredulous.

“If that ends up being what happened I am going to give him such shit. That is the worst way to end a vision.” Anakin replied.

“Yes. It is.” Bant said pointedly. “That’s why it’s a last resort, after every other attempt to wake fails.” 

They all sat in silence, processing various implications. Cody was unnerved by another terrifying insight into force powers, as well as the idea that the General might vividly remember Cody being inexplicably mind-controlled into trying to kill him. Anakin was trying to understand what this would mean for them, and the conversations he had thought they had had. Did...any of it count, if he thought he was offering it to a hallucination?

“Alright, this is a valuable working idea, but let’s make sure to examine everything with an open mind before we draw any more conclusions. Anakin, what happened after you left the healers office?”

Obi-Wan’s critique of the practicalities of visiting a soul healer could be and was interpreted multiple ways. The incongruity of peacekeepers in war sparked a rehash of earlier discussion. More apologies. Self identifying as ‘crazy’ inspired new debate, especially in the context of the new theory. 

“When I saw him enter the fountain room I assumed he had had a brutal run-in with  dark force user.” Windu explained. “Based on everything we’ve gone over, I don’t understand when...but some of the more insidious sith compulsions work by taking whatever small anger or hurt you feel and magnifying them until they consume you. If Obi-Wan was already experiencing self loathing...”

Cody sucked in a breath. “Then a Sith mind suggestion would bring him to commit suicide. It...sounds like something he might do, if he was partially in control. Take the blow rather than let himself be used as a weapon against anyone else, even his worst enemy.”

“Hells, it could have been an even vaguer compulsion, driving him to attack the person he hates the most,” Bant added darkly.

Anakin buried his head in his hands, trying to hold it together. He couldn’t afford to lose control or get angry. Hells, getting angry at Obi-Wan for ‘failing him’ when in pain could be the reason Obi-Wan was currently in the healing halls. The man said he loved him unconditionally, then practically had a breakdown over how much Anakin pushed that unconditional love to the breaking point, then killed himself. How was he supposed to-

“Anakin? Are you alright to continue?” someone said.

“Yes. No. There’s more I have to tell you...I don’t know if it will help but - it was hurting Obi-Wan...I...”

“Let’s just take it one step at a time. What happened after you left Mace?”

Apparently even Cody somehow knew more about Bruck Chun than Anakin. Master Windu and Eerin told different sides of the same sad story, which spiraled back into a conversation about Obi-Wan’s inadequacy issues, which somehow devolved into a long rant about Qui-Gon Jinn that Master Windu had apparently been holding back for years. 

“My apologies.” He said afterwards, clearing his throat as the group stared, taken aback. “Old grievances. Go on Anakin, what did happened after you got to the ‘secret spot.’”

“He...was skirting around whatever was bothering him...I pushed him...told him I wanted to help...he said I couldn’t...because it was me...because of what I...”

Anakin stood up suddenly, feeling the walls of the room closing in.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry I-” 

He ran out.

He turned around almost immediately, pacing in the small corridor, knowing he couldn’t leave, simply needing a minute to catch his breath.

Master Windu followed him out after a moment, not saying anything, just standing there. Watching him.

“What!” Anakin finally snapped. “What do you have to say that I don’t know already!”

“Knight Skywalker-”

“Don’t call me that! I DON’T DESERVE-” 

Anakin let out a frustrated snarl, punching a wall. The crumble of stone beneath this fist briefly made him feel better, but then he remembered Obi-Wan’s heartbroken expression in the light of an underworldly glow, and the tiny, choked sound he heard when the healers moved him and Anakin just...collapsed, falling to his knees.

Master Windu sank down gracefully beside him.

“Anakin. This isn’t about attachment issues, is it.”

“Not really, no. I mean, maybe you’ll blame attachment but it’s more about...”

“Anger.”

Anakin looked up at that, trying to regain the meditative calm he had felt for a glimmering moment yesterday, right in-between making peace in the cave and everything burning to ash. 

“You know that I have had my own struggles with anger. It is how and why I came to develop Vaapad.” 

“Yes, but you’ve Mastered your anger. And you’ve never...never given in to hate.”

A beat passed and Windu watched some of Skywalker’s familiar breaking points flicker into view. 

“You’ve done something. Something you know the Jedi won’t forgive.”

“Obi-Wan forgave me.” Anakin said, whispering. “He said that even though I couldn’t fix what I did he loved me anyway and I just needed to...to honestly regret what I did and not do it again. I told him I’d get rid of my lightsaber and I meant it and...I thought he forgave me. I was ready to go to the Council with him, come clean about everything. And then I left him alone to get dinner and when I came back...he was holding my lightsaber. My lightsaber.” 

Anakin buried his face in his hands, shuddering with creeping cold.

“I’m not going to critique your and Obi-Wan’s attachment to each other right now. I’m well aware that much of the order has turned to personal ties to maintain their stability given the ongoing horrors of war. I am, for many reasons, wary of the risks this brings us, yet it is also true that risks do not automatically mean failure. I myself have mastered my emotions in a different manner than conventional wisdom councils.” 

Windu spoke carefully. For all that he and Anakin had similar relationships with the force, they rarely saw eye to eye on any given subject. At a certain point, Mace had accepted that the volatile young man was determined to find the worst possible interpretation for anything he said. And Mace was not the order’s most patient diplomat.

“As for your crime, whatever it is, l will tell you this: Unless you choose to renounce the code and leave our number, you will be treated as a Jedi Knight, subject to our protections, as well as our judgement. You will receive appropriate mental counseling. If you are judged to be a danger to those around you, your actions will be curtailed and monitored, possibly through temporary confinement.  The Jedi do not believe in punitive measures for their own sake, but you may be required to provide restitution to those you harmed, perhaps indefinitely. 

Silence hung perilously between them. Windu watched a tremor run through the unfathomable kaleidoscopic of shatterpoints that had orbited Skywalker since he was a boy. A small one broke inward, and an attached tangle of larger, darker ones fell away, crumbling to dust. The rest faded from view, invisible for the moment. A choice had been made, some decision that closed off at least one path to the darkside.

“There’s no one to make restitutions to.”

“...You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”

“Let’s go back inside- I don’t want to do this twice.”

They returned to the increasingly hated meeting room.

Anakin spoke in an outpouring of words about love and hate, about misplaced revenge and now uncertain forgiveness. When he finally finished, the room was deathly silent.

The three Jedi sat quietly while Cody pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess this is why Jedi have the no attachment rule, huh? I admit I never really got it, but I suppose even if I-”

Bant abruptly lunged up, fumbling to bring her lightsaber to Anakin’s neck. Everyone jumped to their feet, except for Anakin, who stared at Bant with a wretched expression.

“MASTER EERIN! This is not-”

“Did you do it?” she asked, ignoring the Master of the Order.

“Bant!”

“It was my first thought after I saw him. We all rushed in expecting a fight, or a bomb, only to find you, insane, and him with a hole next to his heart. I didn’t want to believe it of course, but you’ve always had a violent streak that Obi-Wan, force help him, couldn’t quite soothe away. A fight gone wrong. Master Windu said it was suicide, and I believed him, and I’ve been trying to make sense of that ever since. But Mace found you after, didn’t he? After you felt guilty? Did you think he was going to turn on you?”

“Bant Eerin, you are dangerously-”

“No.” Anakin whispered.

“Obviously I might be why. But I didn’t- I couldn’t. I know I’m not good but I can’t even imagine- holding a saber against him like that. Kriff, do you not get how much I can’t handle losing people I love? I was insane when you saw me because I saw someone trying to kill Obi-Wan and I couldn’t even fight them.”  

Bant held his gaze for several lingering seconds, deactivated her saber and dropping it with a clatter. They stared at each other, breathing heavily and not blinking. She returned to her seat, moving jerkily. “I apologize Knight Skywalker. That was uncalled for.” 

“I wish I could say I wouldn’t have done the same thing in your shoes” he responded lowly. Bant made a tiny, unintelligible noise in reply. 

Cody collapsed back into his chair, holstering his blaster.  “Alright then...so after you finished sitting in the fountain room...what happened next?”

Everyone stared at him.

“What?”

“You’re handling Anakin’s confession somewhat dispassionately. We’re simply surprised.” Mace said slowly, returning to his seat at the same time as Master Aerdo fell into theirs.

Cody shifted uncomfortably. “The vod were trained in a wide range of enemy suppression tactics. While we’re extremely glad the Jedi have never asked us to employ them, I’m not...unfamiliar with this scale of deliberate slaughter. At least in the hypothetical, sir.”

“I see.” Aerdo said. “That is a valuable insight to have, thank you. Knight Skywalker-”

“Just...call me Anakin. Or Skywalker.”

“Anakin. When did this happen?”

“About two years ago, immediately before the First Battle of Geonosis.”

“And have you had any similar experiences with giving into the darkside since?” they asked placidly.

“I don’t think so but...we went to war the next day and....I don’t know if I’ve stopped fighting since it- since I did what I did.”

“Hmm. Anakin, would you mind stepping outside the room and waiting in the corridor for a moment please?” 

He bit his tongue, tasting blood, and quietly walked out the door while the Masters decided his fate. He leaned back against a wall, desperately wanting to see Padme. 

To his surprise, the door opened barely a few minutes later, and he was politely invited back in.

“Anakin.” Master Windu spoke. “Thank you for telling us this. It’s an important insight into Obi-Wan’s feelings right now, and I recognize that you could have kept it a secret. As Head of the Order, and with the advice of a Senior Soul Healer, I have made a decision. You will be assigned a personal soul healer, who you will start seeing tomorrow. Commander Cody pointed out that over nearly two years of continuous warfare, you have maintained some of the the lowest trooper casualty units of any division, by a significant margin if we evaluate based on mission risk level. Your civilian and enemy casualties will be reviewed, but even considering constant war, since your massacre of the Tuskens, you have clearly managed to at least... direct your violence away from the innocent. We do not consider you a threat to the inhabitants of the world. For the time being, I see no real benefit to limiting or tracking your behavior within the temple or on planet, but you are barred from leaving orbit. I have decided to delay a full reckoning before the council until such time that your former Master is well enough to provide his own opinion. Give me just cause, and I will have you confined to a force-suppressing cell. Do you understand?”

Anakin nodded, bowing in acknowledgment. All things considered, it was...honestly better than he expected.

“Now, as Cody” Windu paused. “My apologies, as the Commander was saying-” 

“Cody’s fine, sir” Cody said, wrung out in a way different from anything Kamino had trained him for.

“...I think we can all consider ourselves on a first name basis at this point.” Bant said with a snort. She paused. “That includes you Anakin. I really don’t know how to handle what you did but kark it, I don’t want to hate you. For myself.”

Everyone nodded.

“As Cody was saying, what happened next?”

Peace. Comfort. Hunger. A warning in the force...

-

“I tried to pull the saber back but his finger was already on the igniter...” 

“You probably saved his life. Even a second later-”

“I know, that’s almost the worst part.”

-

“-his neck”

“Why would he change weapons?”

“What if-”

-

“He said what to you and Healer Che?”

“That has to support the detailed vision idea, think about-”

“I’m sorry, Emperor?”

-

“I think we’re done.”

Anakin stared blankly at Sife. “But we didn’t figure anything out.”

“Not conclusively, but we’re unlikely to make any more progress, you’ve given me enough information to preform a meaningful meditative scan, or guide a conversation, should Obi-Wan wake, or navigate through his mind, should we decide to make a more decisive attempt at his shields.”

“Master Aerdo... I leave the final judgement up to you, but I strongly urge you to make a more decisive attempt. I am more convinced now than I was...” Mace glanced at the chronometer “five hours ago that this was motivated by a specific, external stimuli, likely dark. Do you disagree?”

“No.” they said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to underestimate how much underlying factors might have contributed to his response to stimuli, including underlying factors that none of you were aware of.”

The Nautolan Soul Healer stood up, tucking their hands into their sleeves to address the room with classical Jedi serenity. It was a little irritating.

“In any case, we all need to sleep, eat, and meditate. Master Eerin, you have the rest of the day off, I've cleared it with Master Che already. Master Windu, I leave the final judgement up to you, and I am aware that your duties as Master of the Order are unceasing, but I urge you to take some time to center yourself before returning to the council. Commander Cody, I would be more than willing to arrange soul healing for you or any of the Vod, please let me know. Anakin, you will receive a comm later today with further details on your future healing sessions. 

They bowed low, then glided out the door.

Bant stood next, bowed individually to each soul, and sped walked out.

Commander Cody cleared his throat awkwardly, “Mace- what should I tell the troops? We’re supposed to have command briefings later tonight.”

“If anyone asks about General Kenobi, tell them its classified.” I’ll schedule a briefing on the subject. Now go find Captain Rex and take care of yourself, that’s an order.”

Cody saluted, first to the high General, then to Anakin.

Finally it was just Mace and Anakin.

“Is there anyone who you trust who I can call to stay with you.” Master Windu asked.

“I can manage on my own” Anakin replied, not willing to give the Master of the Order anything else he could use against him, even after everything.

Master Windu held back a sigh.

He continued once more, making a deliberate attempt to soften his tone. “Anakin- I know we’ve had our differences, but this is not a trick, nor a trap. You’ve suffered a series of great shocks in the last 24 hours and handled them with immense maturity. I myself am struggling to deal with the emotional fallout.”

Anakin looked up at that, surprised. He didn’t seem to be struggling, but maybe that was what made him a good Jedi Master...

“As I told you before, I am not going to begrudge you the comfort of attachment. I’m rather convinced it would do you more harm than good at this point. I don’t want you flying right now, and you don’t have to be alone. I hope we have come to a better understanding today, but I doubt my presence is suddenly a comfort, though please correct me if I’m wrong. Now is there someone I can call?”

-

Padme ended her call with Master Windu extremely discomfited. She had barely heard from Anakin since he ran out on her the night before last to take care of an apparently extremely drunk Obi-Wan. He had messaged her a few times that night, promising to make it up to her, but had been comm-silent since. She had been starting to get worried, and now the Master of the Order was asking her to pick him up from the temple. Fortunately, she had already cleared most of her meetings for the week well in advance (Courascant leave usually meant THEM time, not that she was jealous of Obi-Wan, of course).

The speeder ride back from the temple was silent. All Anakin would say was that he would explain everything once they were in ‘a secure location.’ 

The door to the apartment had scarcely closed behind them when Anakin fell into her arms, shaking.

“Anakin, talk to me love, what’s wrong?” She gently guided him to the couch, arranging him so she could hold him protectively.

“Obi-Wan tried to kill himself.”

She let out a harsh gasp, “No! He can’t have, he would never-” 

“I got to him in time, but Padme... he was holding a lightsaber to his heart. It was...really close” He burrowed deeper into the folds of her dress, and she gripped him fiercely.

“Oh gods, is he-”

“He’s physically healing, but he’s still...not all there. I spent all of today locked in a room, trying to figure out if it was a Sith Attack, or an insane vision, or..or me”

“Anakin! What do you mean ‘me’ - Obi-Wan loves you, you-”

“I know.” Anakin interrupted her again, knowing he was being unfair; he was just too exhausted to be patient.

“He told me loved me. He...he...found out about what I did to the Tusken village, You should have seen his face, Padme, he was horrified, but he still told me he loved me, and he was willing to forgive me, even though he shouldn’t”

“Of course he forgave you,” Padme whispered. “You’re not a monster, Anakin, I know you would never do something like that again.”

"And then after we talked, I left him alone and he-” Anakin choked out into her dress.

Tears ran down her face, heart breaking. “That’s- that’s horrible. Anakin...it must have have been a attack, Obi-Wan wouldn’t do that.” she said urgently.

He pulled away, horrified. “I made you cry. I made Obi-Wan cry too. I’m sorry- Padme please, promise me you won’t-”

She grabbed the sides of his head. 

Her nails bit into the soft skin behind his ears as she pulled him down so they were face-to-face, vowing, “Never. I swear by the force itself, I will never choose death over life.”

He let out a relieved sigh, eyes fluttering closed.

“Now you,” she demanded

“As long as I have anyone to live for, I swear by the force, I will never choose death over life.”

She pulled him the rest of the way in for a bruising kiss. He lifted her, and they desperately clung at one another as he carried her to bed. They continued like that, clinging and grasping, until exhaustion carried him to sleep. She pulled the covers over top them both and curled around him defensively as the day slowly faded away.

Part XI

[lcksndkys]

Title: Red Tulips

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Rating: SFW

Genre: f2?, fluff, mild angst

Word count: 1,486

A/N: I hope ya’lls like cheese! This lil piece was written as part of the btsghostiewriters net drabble marathon with the prompt of themes: ‘language of flowers’. Keep an eye out for more drabbles coming! And shout out to my hype team @jinpanman and @wwilloww for the encouragement!!

Summary: Namjoon has been gifting you flowers for years. As a good friend, he brings yet another offering to spruce up your new apartment. Tonight, he brings you tulips and the promise of change.

When you open the door of your new apartment, you’re not surprised when you see Namjoon on the other side holding a delicate bouquet of flowers. As a flower shop owner and lover of nature he has been avidly gifting you with his personal creations for years. 

Lavender roses (enchantment) when you finished grad school. 

Asters (take care of yourself for me) when you left home for your first big job opportunity. 

Blue violets (faithfulness) when you landed your dream job and subsequently returned to your hometown.

Yellow acacias (secret love) when you accepted a promotion last month ensuring a permanent residence. 

“Joonie, you know you didn't have to bring me anything!” you laugh as you accept his offering with eager hands. 

Holding the flowers in one hand, you use your remaining arm to wrap around his waist.  Rising to your toes, you plant a chaste kiss to his dimpled cheek. Heat creeps up his neck at your affection, and Namjoon silently prays you won’t notice. You never have.

“Th-they’re tulips,” he breathes quietly into your crown as he wraps both arms around you. He breathes in your lightly floral scent and wills his heart not to race. Your hand runs up and down the broad planes of his back and you note that he has filled out with more muscle while you’ve been gone. 

You welcome him in to join the rest of your friends who have come to celebrate your move back to the city. Namjoon greets your mutual friends and chooses a seat next to his best friend Yoongi. 

Namjoon’s magnetic gaze is drawn to your every smile, every move. But in your pleasantly inebriated state, you grin back at your long time friend without noting the rosy, amorous tint in his eyes. 

Beside him, Yoongi peers over at his two friends in exasperation and rolls his eyes. He’s too sober to watch Namjoon make googly eyes at you all night. He has seen Namjoon silently pine for you over the years, too fearful of your rejection to make a move. Now that you’re finally back home, Yoongi hopes that your relationship might bloom like the buds that Namjoon carefully tends to. 

Drinks and laughter are plentiful as the night progresses. The evening blurs with the warmth of friendship, alcohol, and good company. The last few years have been full of professional growth and development, but you’ve missed the familiarity of your home and loved ones. 

As time wears on, people start heading home, but Namjoon and Yoongi linger to help a still happily buzzed you clean up. 

“I’ll take out the trash,” Joon offers, leaving you and Yoongi to finish cleaning up. In the kitchen, he haphazardly puts glassware back into your cabinets as you wipe down the countertops. 

“Those are romantic” Yoongi drawls, gesturing to the flowers by the sink.

“Nah, they’re from Joon” you laugh, dismissing his comment entirely with a wave of your hand.

“Exactly”

There’s a beat of silence as Yoongi quirks a brow at you. Crossing his arms, he leans against the freshly cleaned countertop assessing your reaction.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, looking from Yoongi to the tulips and back again.

“Maybe you should ask Namjoon” is the cryptic reply you recieve. 

Outside, Namjoon is pacing back and forth. He thinks back to his pep talk with Yoongi earlier in the day. 

“You gotta tell her, man” Yoongi encourages. “She’s finally home, she’s single, and you’re gonna regret it if someone else sweeps her off her feet before you’ve had the chance to confess.”

“I don’t know if I can do it. I- I don’t think I could handle her rejection,” Namjoon sighs.  

“Ok, but if you don’t, you’re gonna lose her for good. Which can you live with?”

There’s no way he could bear watching you fall in love with someone else again. Going through it once was bad enough. Seeing your eyes ignite for another man is going to kill him. He’s sure of it.

Light suddenly floods the patio as you swing open the door to let Yoongi take his leave.

“There you are! I thought you might have left without saying goodbye” you pout from the doorway. You watch as Yoongi pulls Namjoon in for a bro hug and briefly whispers something to  the younger man before climbing into his car and driving off.

Namjoon steels himself. It’s now or never, he decides. 

“I, um, I have to talk to you about something,” he says, leading the two of you back inside.

You take a seat on the arm of the couch and curl a leg under you to watch him continue his nervous pacing. 

“Joon-bug, you’re scaring me,” you chuckle, hoping to break through some of the tension. Your mild buzz is quickly evaporating.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” you say quietly. You approach him slowly as you would a frightened animal, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

With you so close to him, Namjoon needs to tilt his head down to make eye contact. He can feel your warm breath on his chin, your skin on his. There’s the familiar pull of your gaze and his heart races with fear and love. He’s drowning, but finds that he doesn’t want to be saved. 

Before he knows it, he’s craning down further and pressing an urgent kiss to your lips. When you don’t immediately pull away, he brings both hands up to cradle your face, tilting you for a better angle. His thumbs brush tenderly along the apples of your cheeks breaking you out of your shock. 

You jerk back a couple of steps, eyes round in surprise and completely missing the way Namjoon’s face crumbles with defeat. 

“Wha-”

“Irresistible love,” he blurts out.

Your eyebrows pinch in confusion. 

“What?” 

“The red tulips. They symbolize irresistible love,” Namjoon repeats. “I’ve been trying to tell you with all the flowers,” he pauses to take a deep calming breath. “That I’m in love with you.”

Love. 

Your ears ring in alarm. 

“No- you aren’t. You can’t be'' you stutter in bewilderment. 

“I can, and I am. I have loved you for years.” Namjoon finds that once he starts, he can’t stop. “I’ve been waiting for you to notice me. But now I’m afraid that I’ll lose out on a chance with you. That I’ll always wonder what if. I can’t hold back anymore.”

You can only stare mutely at him for several heart pounding moments.

“I’m just confused,” you whisper, mind whirling with a montage of memories. You try to inspect them under a more careful lens in light of his confession. 

“Tell me if I should apologize for kissing you, or give me permission to do it again” 

He takes your silence as confirmation of your rejection. 

Your conflicted gaze meets his anguished expression. 

“I’m sorry for kissing you. It won’t happen again” comes his clipped response.

“Just hold on- wait” you plead, panicking when you feel him pull away and head for the door. Your heart wrenches in it’s cage at the possibility of losing Namjoon. 

You catch onto his wrist effectively halting his escape. Fleetingly, his eyes dart to your fingers wrapped around him and nods once at your request. Even now, heartbroken, he cannot deny you.

He gently pulls from your grasp, making for the couch to put some distance between you. He takes a seat on the armrest that you had previously been perched. His eyes are trained on the floor where he feels like his heart has been dropped.

“I didn't realize,” you say. 

Namjoon scoffs. “Are you really so surprised? I literally cannot hide the way my body reacts to you.”

He beckons to you. He needs you to approach him on your own will.

Once you’re close enough, he grasps your hand in his much larger one. You let him trail your fingertips along his forearm and you watch in wonder as goosebumps flare in the wake of your touch. He continues a path towards his chest, just left of center, where you can feel the rapid thrumming of the powerful organ hidden beneath clothes and skin and bone. Pulling you closer, Namjoon presses your palm into his chest and you feel the sudden uptick in the beating of his heart as you look into his eyes.

“Could you give me a chance?” 

Your heart seizes, enchanted by the man standing in front of you. Your friend, your confidant. Your lover?

Namjoon is a good man. He is handsome, smart, gentle, and patient. He’s everything you want. Your eyes widen at the startling realization. 

Namjoon is giving you his love, and you’d be a fool not to accept.

“Kiss me again, Joonie” you ask shyly.

The euphoric smile on his face is the last thing you see before your eyes flutter shut.