#like I was 12 and I know that and I know I need to give myself grace for that

[quillpenkeyboard]

Treating fleas

Fleas never really stop being an issue in vet med, but as we in the northern hemisphere are rapidly entering summer, it is once more kicking up in intensity.

In a perfect world, everyone should have their pets on prevention year-round and we'd never have to deal with them, but that's not an achievable outcome.

If your pet does have fleas, you need to treat all pets in the household with effective prevention for at least 3 months while managing the environment. Let me break that down a little further:

"all pets in the household" means every non-human mammal in the house. I don't care if you're only seeing fleas on your one dog - other dogs, cats, ferrets, bunnies, guinea pigs, etc all need to be treated too. All of them.

"effective prevention" unfortunately at least in the US probably means prescription medication, which means your pets have to have a current (generally within last 12 mo) exam on file with a veterinarian. Frontline and other fipronil- or pyrethrin/oid-based products available OTC have become largely ineffective in the last decade or so. I know it's more expensive to get prescription prevention. But I promise it's more expensive in the long run to spend money on products that don't work well and then still have to buy the good stuff afterwards.

"at least 3 months" is because of the flea life cycle and how prevention works. The stuff you give your pets kills the adult fleas when they bite, so they disappear and stop making more fleas. Flea eggs will continue to hatch for a couple months after that. If you treat for less than 3 months you will have the same fleas again. If you stop treating after 3 months you can get fleas again (just like you got them in the first place) but are not guaranteed to.

"managing the environment" means doing what you can to minimize the number of flea eggs that are around. This helps keep your pets comfortable (less itchy) and healthy (reduced risk of illness from fleas). Mostly I have people focus on good household hygiene like vacuuming and washing bedding frequently. If you do use a flea "bomb" product, read the packaging carefully first - most of these are toxic to pets and so have to keep pets out during and for a period of time following treatment.

[utilitycaster]

We've seen three death moves overall for CR Daggerheart (in addition to this episode, Kexon, Travis's Menagerie character, did one as well) and every single time they've chosen Risk It All and so far they've all made it so I am EXCITED to see more. I do want to talk about multiple issues that can come up with D&D death/resurrection rules and which have, indeed, come up in Critical Role campaigns, which death moves address. I've mentioned a lot of these in scattered posts and comments, but here are the ones I have in mind all in one place.

Not ready to say goodbye to the character. It gives a graceful and easy option for people who don't want to let a beloved PC die - just go unconscious. The scar mechanic in Daggerheart is also great because it becomes more likely with higher levels (scars are if you roll equal to or under your character's level, ie, had Sam or Ashley picked that option, they only had a 1/12 chance to take a scar since they're level 1), so it allows you to ease in or hang on to a low level character for a while.

Less immediate burden on healers (or people with potions). I happen to enjoy the challenge of playing a D&D healer, but it does mean that if you're the cleric and you are perfectly positioned for a devastating Inflict Wounds and someone goes down and rolls a nat 1 death save, suddenly your turn becomes "heal or at least stabilize now or else you're kind of an asshole." The collaborative, turn-based but not specifically ordered battle rules of Daggerheart do a lot to (pun not intended) combat this, but the fact that someone can simply go unconscious and sit out the rest of the fight means it doesn't shift what everyone else does.

No anticlimactic deaths. This is, off topic, a big refutation in my opinion to the "made for actual play" argument (which is itself not a valid argument anyway) but: there is no going out quietly on a third failed death save. Either you stay alive, you canonically go out in a blaze of glory, or there is a literal above table gamble for your life with the odds only slightly in your favor. No slow bleeding out that the DM has to narrate to seem more cool than it is; no five rounds of dread; even if you risk it all and fail, it's one and done.

Less fear of bold moves. Consider: you do have slightly in-your-favor odds to risk it all; and if you win, you may very well end up in better shape than you were before! You probably will, actually, given that you have no hit points left. Because there's an out provided if you really can't say goodbye there's really no reason not to risk it on the battlefield, and also if you're staring down a TPK, one of you risking it all could genuinely turn the tide in your favor. It might be better to go down and hope you get back up than to play it too safe in a battle of attrition.

No critting and immediately falling unconscious again. A crit on a death save is in fact really fucking good in D&D too, but you do have one hit point, so you get your turn, and then you might just go straight back down. A crit in Daggerheart? You're fully back on your feet and better than ever.

You can choose to let a death stand with minimal OOC discussion. On the other hand, if you feel this is a narratively meaningful place to let the character die? You ensure a dramatic and satisfying finale, and you make your definitive exit, without needing to pause an emotional combat scene to provide the other players with, effectively, your character's DNR. The death move you chose (and the fact that it's very hard to resurrect in Daggerheart) does the work for you.

Resurrection never feels cheap. Obviously there's the fact that resurrection is literally extremely difficult to do in Daggerheart, far more so than D&D; but also, if you die via running out of hope slots from multiple times choosing to avoid death, that is something you'd be aware was coming up - rather like how a character with multiple scars in Candela Obscura knows they'll need to retire. You can't stave off death forever, but you'll know when you're running low on hope slots and be able to make peace with it - or decide to meet it head on.

[jovialwitchtastemaker]

Okay I looked into it they are not banning sex toys they are trying to regulate the sale of them to just sex shops and not say your local Walmart but they are not banning people from buying them exactly and it’s not a law yet but here’s some other “fun” ones

1. Banning the sale of soda and candy on SNAP benefits

2. Putting warning labels on processed food

Yeah Texas… we need help because while these are not bans or laws this is also going down

1. Texas work force the place that is supposed to help ND and disabled people find jobs failed me three times since moving here

2. I was told it would take me 15 years just to get my foot in the door for getting help with job hunting while in NY it took 4 years and a lot of hoops

3. TW: Work abuse, suicidal ideation, the word Fuck, Emotional abuse.

I worked at a thrift store run by mega church and evangelical mega church which I didn’t realize at the time I’ve gotten it from Texas Workforce Texas Workforce let me train there. It was a mess. Basically what I was looking for was a coach lead job and what they gave me was Babies introduction to jobs basically where we worked at this thrift store for 12 weeks with “transferable“ skills, which is not true that is a lie. I had already had a job prior to this and similarly actually no worse. This job was worse. This job was anti-Halloween and they even had people who would come in to donate stuff you know patrons and patrons were very Questionable.

One lady had a whole bunch of books one of them being how God can cure autism for example and I just had to keep my mouth shut so at this job I was hiding my autism even though they knew I was autistic. They did not they did not allow me my They didn’t allow me what I needed to be able to function in that kind of environment and then I was also hiding my religion. I am currently questioning everything. I dabble in tarot cards and what not and they were very anti-that so I was double masking for three days seven hours a day.

Yeah, oh yeah it made me have autistic burnout which part of this I had another job at brick oven pizza which that was hell that was horrible. I hated it but everyone else there working everyone else working in there also knew it was horrible so I felt like you know at least I wasn’t alone in the misery. Everyone knew everyone knew how bad it was But here I felt very alone and my manager kept giving me mixed signals whether or not she was a friend or if it was just business she would buy me McDonald’s almost every morning and then she got mad at me the one time when I went to get the when I went to go through the bag McDonald’s bag so that I can, you know get what the meat you get my meal and she yelled at me like absolutely yelled at me. Absolutely broke me then she would also when I had Covid. She also gave me $20 out of her own pocket and also bought me so much medicine stuff like you know just off the counter mess and stuff to make me feel better and left it at my door but then she would at work be like I don’t in a tone. I don’t know what you were thinking or you need to get your life together or is the phone gonna be a problem today when I would have told her prior that my therapist wanted me to keep track of the symptoms I was having

The job was the first time I ever experienced autistic burnout like I didn’t even it was like I was in a trance and I didn’t even realize what I was doing till I stepped off of the clothes rack. I was hanging clothes on, and I realized I was trying to figure out if I could hang myself from it And scared myself and then from that point, it was pretty much daily for at least a month solid six months total but one month solid it was just daily thoughts of how to end my life and I thought OK they’re a church they can they help all these other people with this stuff they could you know so I asked the pastor. Hey do you know any Psychologist and he said he’d get back to me on he never did and the one day you know, my boss asked me what was wrong so I told her flat out everything I showed her. I had a baggy of my hair cause I was pulling my hair out like by the strands and The lady who signs my check said you know is there anything we can do to help and I told him well what would help us having an audiobook on me and they said you know they sent me home for a week and they said we’ll get back to you And that was around Thanksgiving and by the time Thanksgiving was over. I was good. I was ready to go, and I got the phone call from my from the guy who owns it from the pastor’s son. He said I’m letting you go and so I asked the lady who signs my checks who also said that these voices and thoughts were from Satan and I asked her straight up it’s like did you fire me because of what I said well, I told you and she told me no we just don’t think you were the right fit for the job. We have to deal with the public and heavy lifting and things like that and we just didn’t think you were a good fit. This was after nine months of working there a full year if you count the 12 week training.

Honestly I’m glad they let me go pissed they only gave me 500$ to last a month and even more livid no one explained what “Volunteer with a stipend” meant I owed 571 in taxes due to that

Oh and that the lady who was suppost to help me just used me as a dress up doll and said “if you get fired call me we will help you” so I did and she said “ you can’t afford my rates you need to go back though workforce and open your case again”

I’m wanting clothes that yell masculine energy don’t fuck with me but for a woman’s fit

They sent me home with not that vibe

Oh! At least they treated rhis with the respect a big large black man who I maybe talked to once as friendly worker to costumer gave me a side hug I still felt it after he let go I felt violated and gross it was just a hug but still

They banned him from the store but still

Oh he wasn’t a worker he was a customer

Kept wanting my phone number too

I was the friendly worker just small chit chat he took that to mean he knew me enough to give me a hug

Even hashbrowns and I fucking love those things are now a truama trigger

I had skipped breakfast bc I knew my manager would bring me a hashbrown and sandwich from McDonald’s like she had every day guve or take for a month

Well I was hungry and she was busy so I did what I do with my friends I went to grab the food I thought was mine I went over and held it up to her in a silent “food time?” And she went angry tone on me “No ma’am that is not how we do things here! Since when is it okay for you to go though my stuff? I don’t do that with you and that hashbrown was mine I didn’t get you one today” with a snear she said “I hope you enjoy it that was the only hot food I had in a week”

I cried and drew a picture of my character Ricky with “YOU FUCKED UP” behind him as a clawed shadow thing makes him bleed

this was a long time back now but as you can see it’s still effects me

, this as well as seven other bras were also gifted to me by my ex manager, I remember she also got angry at me when I was on the last few days of my period and spotting I cleaned myseld up and threw the toilet paper in the trash because we always take the trash out at the end of the day and she was disgusted and got that tone that meant I was in trouble that was another thing I panicked over that day… actually that was what triggered another suicidal ideation episode how “nice” it would be to smash my head though rhis thick ass pane of glass we had for sale

For all of November working was a struggle not because of the job but because I was also fighting myself

Open up and prep garbage bags? Fight off every urge telling me to soffocate myself with them

Taking the trash out? The smashing my head one

Cleaning price stickers off the floor? Fight taking that same painters knife to my wrist

I wasn’t even safe on my days off it got to be the norm waking up with “kill your self” going though my head to the point I didn’t even realize it was happening anymore and I couldn’t remember what it was like prior to it happening like I had memories that I knew I wasn’t always like that but I accepted this was mh life now

living in texas is so buns dude. theyre trying to ban weed AND vibrators. we got tornados and torrential downpours every other day and the other days are near 100 degree heat. annabelle is on the fucking lose apparently. i had to recite the texas pledge a week ago. the TEXAS pledge of allegiance. and the american one. greg abbott is still alive. ted cruz is still eating our sons. free us.

[bellestalesoffiction]

Got Milk? - Steve Rogers x mom!Reader

Summary: It's late at night and your neighbor is the only one that you know will help. He also happens to be Captain America

Warnings: fluff, mom!reader, female presenting reader, use of Y/N, named child, parental exhaust, past trauma, allusion to mental abuse/gaslighting by ex

A/N: This is unedited on my phone, 5 minute ficlet written in between answering phones at work when I should be doing my job. Also sorry if I miss any triggers, this is my first post like this in i think almost 2 years since Reassurance and Cuddles 😅 feedback appreciated

Divider by @firefly-graphics

A frantic knock at his door had Steve jumping in his reading spot. He had been so engrossed in his newspaper that he didn't hear anyone approaching, rising from his spot the knock sounds again. He approached the door carefully, tension tightening when he picks up on the sniffling and whining of a child.

Cautiously, looking through the peephole, his body instantly relaxes entirely seeing his neighbor, Y/N, and her little boy in her arms, Alex.

"Hey, whats wrong?" He opened the door, taking in their state immediately. Y/N looked exhausted and ready to cry, tears brimming her eyes, a few betraying her already had escaped down her cheek. Little Alex, just a few weeks over a year old, curled into his mother whining and gripping at her shirt sniffling.

"I am so so sorry to bother you, Steve" Y/N started out, taking a shakey breath mid scentence, voice trembling sentence, "I-i just got off work, the sitter, Mrs. Derek's granddaughter drank the last of the whole milk with dinner and didn't say anything until I got home, a and Alex keeps waking up and won't go down, you wouldn't be able to spare a cup with the shops closed?" Y/N's voice drifted between exhausted anger and pure defeat as she looked up at him gripping her child arms shakey and tense.

Steve glanced at the digital clock in his stove. 12:43 glared back at him, he didn't realize it was that late at all.

"Of course, come in. Give me just a moment" he watched as she shyly stepped in, trying to make herself small, holding out the spill proof cup for Steve to fill, doing her best to soothe whatever was making Alex so upset.

Steve watched, his heart clenching for a moment, taking the cup and hurriedly filling it, wanting to help and make his little buddy feel better. He toke a moment to softly coax Alex, finger brushing softly against his cheek, standing behind Y/N so the little boy could see him clearly. Gently, Steve watched as the little guy lifted his head from hiding and offered him the cup, "hey buddy, need a drink?"

Alex whined lip trembling, wet spots on his mother's work vest from his tears, moved to grab his cup hugging it to his tiny body while rubbing at his face watching Steve as his little body slowly started to calm down, recognizing his 2 favorite people. Y/N let out a small breath of relief as her son's whimpers died down and he started to drink and soothe himself. Her shoulders sagged, arms shifting to continue holding up her son's growing weight.

"Here, why don't I take him for a moment and we can sit on the couch and get you off your feet?" Steve offered softly, keeping his voice low and calm. He had Y/N and Alex over plenty of times before, dinner, neighborly chats and even watched him for a bit when a sitter quit last minute and she had to run into work due to demanding shift managers threatening her job. Y/N looked up at him, tearing up again slightly, face flushed, and nods slowly, turning towards his living room still hugging Alex close, who was much calmer now and drinking the cool milk in his cup to soothe him.

Steve followed, hand resting on the small of her back in a guiding manner, concerned for both of them, having known them long enough that whatever had happened recently was enough to startle them both and it was more than just lack of sleep and milk.

Once seated on the couch, Steve grabbed a blanket and set it over Y/N's lap gently, moving to sit himself, holding out his hands for Alex, smiling softly. Alex, hugging his cup in one arm, reached out to Steve as well, babbling and cooing softly, sniffling slightly.

Y/N hesitated, but handed her baby boy over trying not to let the butterflies in her stomach come out to play seeing this man, their neighbor, be so soft and caring with her little boy. If only his father was that way, she thought, but no, she had to fall for the tricks of a man less than kind.

Alex's father had been a very handsome man, one that once made her feel secure and protected, but also talked down to her and made her feel like she needed to earn his love. He had slowly changed her view of her world, isolated from all her friends, family and those that had told her there was something off with him, waving those comments off stating they were jealous or couldnt see how he loved her. He had convinced her to move in with him, before suddenly getting a great opportunity in his carreer stating they had no choice but to move to Washington DC. A month later, with no support system, she had showed him a positive pregnancy test and he chose to blame her and leave her for his young secretary who wasn't trying to 'trap' him or force him to be what he wasnt, when he had been the one to for go protection.

This story Steve had heard few couple times when he had offered assistance. Y/N's story was always one that made his blood boil.

Steve had noticed how amazing Y/N is the more he got to know her. Living next door for the last 6 months, watching her struggle as her baby turned into a toddler, little Alex growing from 6 months old to a whole year. When Alex's birthday came around, Steve was sure to drop off a little cupcake and a gift, having felt bad that they had no one else to rely on. Y/Ns family had never responded when she tried to reach back out and same with friends. She had co-workers, sure, but Steve was pretty sure in the way she tried to hide in on herself most days, he was her only friend.

He wanted to be so much more to her and to Alex, and it seemed like Alex wanted that too with the way he settled right into Steve's elbow, drinking from his cup and his eyes drooping shut slowly, finally feeling calm enough to sleep.

Y/N watched Steve and Alex quietly, wiping away tears from another rough shift between the corner shop she worked at during the day to pay rent and the grocery stocking she worked in the evenings to buy food and keep Alex fed. She had gotten it from both managers for being half asleep durring her shifts, neither knowing that she had stayed up 2 nights in a row with teething pains and nightmares after Alex's father had shown up, drunk. He had been beating on her door, screaming at them making Alex cry in fear. She hadn't told Steve it had happened because she was scared to involve him in her toxic ex and his hot and cold attitude with their son. Scared that Steve would eventually see them in the same light, something not worth fighting for.

A sad soft tired smile graced her lips seeing Alex fully resting against the man that was there for them and that had helped so much more than their blood. A man that had been there and celebrated his 1st birthday with them, that had taken photos with and of them for a scrap book. A man that Y/N had a secret crush on, but would never admit because why ruin a good thing with messy relationship stuff when there was no one else around, especially because she thought she wasn't worth the trouble.

Little did she know, the super solider sitting across the sofa from her was thinking the exact opposite. Thinking they were exactly what he wanted to come home to, wondering how exactly to ask her over for dinner to discuss them and wanting to be apart of their family. Steve decided, that night in his apartment, baby asleep on his chest, hand reaching out towards Y/N, they were worth every battle.

[nebulablakemurphy]

The Winner Takes It All (Part 2)

Summary: Moves and Countermoves AU in which the rebellion never happened and Haymitch is now mentoring his own child for the games.

Warning: 18+ ONLY MDNI Depictions of forced prostitution, a pregnancy resulting from it, and alcohol/drug addiction.

Part 1

“We need a minute.” Y/N tells Everest and Whimsy, once they’ve boarded the train.

Haymitch storms off in the opposite direction, his eyes cast downwards, unable to bear the sight of his son…his tribute.

Effie isn’t sure what to do either, excusing herself to her room.

Y/N shifts between feet, “make yourselves comfortable, ok? There’s plenty of food.” She offers, motioning toward the arrangement on the dining table. “Eat, drink-”

Everest sighs, “you can go, Mom. We’ve got it.”

Whimsy peeks up at her mentor, from the plush velveteen chair.

“Everything’s going to be ok.” Y/N insists, promptly exiting the train car to find her husband.

“You should eat.” Everest tells Whimsy, after the door closes.

“I’m not hungry.” The girl crosses both arms over her chest.

“It’s important to stay healthy for the games.”

“Why do you care? You’re just gonna kill me anyway.”

“I am not going to kill you.” Everest huffs, taking the seat beside her.

“Yet.” Whimsy bites out. “You’re not going to kill me yet.”

“Nobody really knows this, but I was named after the last word in a sentence my mom’s district partner couldn’t finish.”

“W-why are you telling me then?” Whimsy cries. It doesn’t matter, she’ll be gone soon.

“Because you’re my partner and that means something.” Everest insists, “I don’t want you to die and neither do my parents.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Look, giving you your best shot is a severe conflict of interest for them. But my parents are good people, you can trust them. District 12 tributes aren’t known for having a high success rate, but they were able to get Katniss out alive.”

“Even if you’re right about your parents, no one stands a chance against the sponsors you’ll be able to pull. The whole thing is rigged.” Whimsy whispers.

Everest leans toward her, “I think so too. But just because a game is rigged doesn’t mean you can’t win. All you have to do is understand what rules they’re playing by.”

“And what rules are these?”

“No holds barred. The winner takes it all.”

————————————————————————

“Haymitch,” Y/N finds her husband, double fisted in the bar car.

“Hi, angel.” He drawls, “shouldn’t you be fingering a tablet by now?”

“I need you.”

“I’m here.” Haymitch sets the alcohol down, closing the distance between them. “But there’s no way I’m getting through this sober.” He cups her face in his hands, “I need to think. Figure out what we can do.”

Y/N leans into his palm, nodding as she fights back tears.

“Snow’s expecting us to be beside ourselves, irrational. We can use that to our advantage.”

“What about Whimsy?” Y/N wonders. “We can’t sentence that girl to death.”

“You also can’t give her a fair shake.” A voice interrupts them.

Y/N startles, Haymitch pulling her tightly to his chest. Prepared to use his body to shield her own.

“Jesus, sweetheart. Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Katniss. What are you doing here?” She hasn’t been to the Capitol with them in years. Rarely makes it beyond her front door without crippling anxiety.

“You can’t mentor that girl and you shouldn’t have to. I’m gonna do it.” Katniss lifts a shoulder, handing an open bottle of blue spirits to Haymitch. “This one’s all yours.”

“Thanks,” Haymitch takes a swig.

“Tastes like shit, by the way.” Katniss cracks a grin as she exits the bar car.

————————————————————————

Everest hasn’t slept in his parent’s room for years, so when he wakes to find them curled up on the floor of his room, he’s rightfully surprised.

He sighs, sitting up to stretch, still in his father’s suit from the day before. Oh, that’s right; this isn’t his room. “Mom,” he yawns. “Dad?”

Y/N stirs, in her husband’s arms. Focusing her puffy eyes on her son.

She’s been crying, Everest realizes. Probably most of the night.

“Are you ok, honey?” She asks, immediately.

“I’m fine,” Everest assures her.

“Haymitch,” Y/N jostles him.

“Hmm?”

“Everest’s awake.”

He grumbles out a string of profanities as he drags himself upright. “How are you?”

“M’fine.” Everest repeats, “you didn’t have to sleep on the floor.”

“We wanted to stay close incase you needed us.”

This is his parent’s worst nightmare. The one they’ve been preparing him for since his eleventh birthday. One they will never wake from. “We should probably head over for breakfast. We’ll be in the Capitol soon.” He knows this trek well enough.

By the time they reach the breakfast spread, Katniss and Whimsy are already eating. Effie is powdering her face in the corner.

“Morning.” Katniss greets them, “you look well rested.”

“Slept like crap, actually.” Haymitch informs her, “woke up with a kink in my neck.” He plops down in the nearest chair.

“Yeah, I meant Everest. You both look like hell.”

“Manners.” Effie scolds her.

Y/N forces a smile as she sits, “thanks, Katniss.”

“You should have a drink.” Katniss suggests.

“I’m fine.” Y/N sniffs, “just need a little coffee.”

“Sure.” Katniss isn’t convinced.

“We should talk about what to expect once we arrive in the Capitol.” Haymitch is quick to change the subject.

Everest is seated between his parents, picking at his helping of eggs.

“When the train stops, peacekeepers will come in and escort you to the tribute center. From there you’ll be separated into rooms for your prep teams. They’ll hose you down and get you ready for your stylists. After the tribute parade, we’ll meet up backstage and go from there.”

“Then we’ll start discussing strategy for the games?” Whimsy suggests, flicking through slides on the tablet before her.

Katniss swipes the presentation closed, locking the tablet screen and all but tossing it to the ground.

Haymitch bites back a grin. He’s always hated those damn things.

Y/N scowls at them, collecting the device. “Some tributes find it helpful to look over the strategies this way and make their own notes.”

Everest hasn’t taken the time to look over his own yet. But he always enjoyed his mother’s notes, the way they felt like an extension of her. When he was growing up and old enough to stay home with Aunt Madge, while his parents mentored the games; Y/N would leave him his own slideshow. Pictures of them as a family with hearts around him, or little blue stars, she’d drawn with her stylist. His sisters are probably flipping through their own shows right about now.

“Can I see?” Everest holds out a hand.

Y/N allows him to take it from her.

These images are very different than the ones he grew up with, no hearts. Lots of stars though and annotations. It must take hours to update each year.

The computer generated bodies move upon demand, to demonstrate each technique from every angle. This is his mother’s love language, one other tributes couldn’t understand.

“This is really helpful, Mom. Thank you.”

Y/N flounders, only one other person appreciated this particular gift and he is long dead.

Katniss pushes away from the table, without a word.

Peeta Mellark left a gaping hole in each of them, although Katniss would never admit that.

The rest of their morning is spent in quiet solitude. Until the telltale hum of the train engine comes to an end. They’ve reached their destination.

As promised, peacekeepers do come for Whimsy and Everest.

Before his parents disappear completely from view, he watches them depart the train, hands entwined. Haymitch presses a single kiss to Y/N’s knuckles before they set off in opposite directions.

————————————————————————

Y/N knows the house she’s headed for, she could find it in her sleep. Tungsten Pruit took a liking to her back before he could have her. Sponsoring her tributes year after year, buying her tapes.

The first night Y/N was offered up individually, Tungsten paid a cool million for her. But he’s never hurt her, and for that reason alone, a night with him is preferable to some of the Capitol’s more…colorful patrons.

Y/N knocks once before he answers.

“You’re expensive tonight, Little Minx.”

“More or less than a million?”

“More.” He swings the door open wide for her. “Come in.”

“Is this new?” She points to the settee.

The man wraps his arms around her waist. “It is.”

“I like it.” She allows him to sway her slightly, from side to side.

“About your son…”

“Mhm?”

“I’d like to sponsor him.” Tungsten’s lips brush against her jugular.

“That’s very kind of you.” She swallows down the bile creeping up her throat.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh?”

“In my room.” Up the stairs, down the hall, last door on the right. Illuminated by candle light.

Finnick Odair.

————————————————————————

Everest hears the steady spray of water and scrub brushes. Cleaning the tributes behind the curtains beside him, as he sits untouched; twiddling his thumbs.

Eventually a prep team joins him. Standing nervously, shoulder to shoulder, at the makeshift room’s entrance.

“Uh, hi.” Everest waves, “I’m Everest. You’re here to get me ready for the parade?”

The smallest of the three, a girl with long magenta hair, nods.

“Alright, well here I am.” Everest lies back on the cool, metal table, covered by nothing more than the paper gown they’d left out for him.

Anytime he moves they jump, gasping as they remove their hands.

“Sorry,” Everest clears his throat, “tickles.”

“Are you uncomfortable?” The older woman asks, “we’re under strict instruction to make sure you are safe and comfortable at all times.”

“I’m fine.” Everest blinks up at the ceiling, “just treat me like you would any other tribute.”

No one utters a word, until Vanity burst in some time later.

“Where is he? Where’s my boy? Is he ready for me?”

“Vanity?” Everest narrows his eyes at her. “You’re not a stylist for the games anymore?”

“That’s because you weren’t in the games.” She rolls her eyes, their natural color eclipsed by purple contacts. “I’ve styled you from the day you were born, you think I’m going to stop now?”

Everest smiles, with a shake of his head. “Of course not.”

————————————————————————

Y/N and Finnick are left alone to redress.

“See yourselves out once you’re decent.” Tungsten shrugs on a pale yellow dressing gown before vacating the room. Closing the door behind him.

“I’m so sorry about Everest.” Finnick murmurs, reaching for his bottoms and pulling them up over his hips.

“Me too.” Y/N steps into her dress, zipping it closed against her side.

“Beetee has control of the comm system-”

“I can’t listen to any more of Plutarch’s planning and plotting.”

Finnick hushes her. “It’s not just Plutarch.”

“Was my son getting reaped part of his ‘plan?’”

“This wasn’t a part of anyone’s plan.” He continues buttoning his shirt.

Y/N is silent, buckling the strap of her heels.

“I saw Honey at the reaping.”

She blinks at him, helplessly.

“She’s beautiful.”

“I know.”

“What’s she like?” Finnick hasn’t seen the little girl in person since she was four. The age when Y/N and Haymitch stop bringing their children along to mentor the games. He only gets to see Capitol coverage, a picture or two a year, if he’s lucky.

“Kind and thoughtful and funny.” Like her other children, “too good for this world.”

Finnick’s lips quirk upward, into a lopsided grin. “Tell her Finnick says hi.”

“I will.” Y/N doesn’t want to talk about it anymore “How’s Annie?”

The love of Finnick’s life never blamed Y/N for anything. Still watching a little girl grow up, with Finnick’s smile and another woman’s eyes isn’t easy on her. “She’s alright.”

“And Mags?”

“She’s as good as she’s gonna be, honey.”

“Do you know who has Haymitch?” How bad is it?

“Synchrony.” Finnick says. “She’s harmless, I’ve seen her a few times. She probably wanted both of you, but no one can afford you tonight.”

“How much?” For the star-crossed lovers of District 12?

“Starts with a b, ends with an illion.”

“A billion dollars?” Y/N scoffs.

“Snow knew you’d want to be together.”

How long is he gonna punish me for what I did when I was fifteen?

“I got you something.” Finnick reaches into his back pocket, producing a bottle of pills. “They’re new. I know you don’t like to take anything, but these work well. Better than the others, you can still think clearly it just suppresses everything else.”

“Did you take one?”

“No.” He shakes his head, “I wasn’t going to take one if you couldn’t.”

He wouldn’t leave her in that room to be flayed open with no anesthetic as he watched, perfect numb. He learned years ago to separate himself from his body.

Having only ever been with Haymitch, who she outright adored, it wasn’t a skill Y/N had. So Finnick forced himself to remain as present as she was. Even though she never asked him to.

Together they created life, one he couldn’t be a part of. Sharing a love for each other that doesn’t belong. Sinful and messy. Bleeding into everything they touch.

The agent in charge of their audio feed removes his headset. Disposing of the evidence and moving leisurely through the mansion halls to the presidential office.

Snow looks up at him and curtly excuses his advisors. “Clear the room.”

They do as they’re told, latching the white double doors securely behind them.

The president arches a brow, expectantly.

“The feed from the Odair, Abernathy room was disposed of, Mr. President.” Agent Barton Clares reports. “I know you’ve asked to hear it before hand, but I-”

“I trust your judgment, Agent Clares. That’s why I’ve assigned you to this task. You understand the delicate nature of the situation and what would happen if these…details were released to the public.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Their images would be shattered and from there it would be their word against mine. People would die, the system would collapse.”

Barton nods.

“Was there any other information passed between them?”

“They were strictly discussing the child, Mr. President.” He lies.

“Very well. Were you able to get more information from the Nicholo girl?”

Cashmere. “No.”

“I’ll arrange for you to see her tonight then.” President Snow decides, with a sickening smile. “Do try harder.”

————————————————————————

Everest doesn’t see Whimsy again until they are mounting up for the parade.

His suit will send up sparks similar to a stick of dynamite. Her dress is a canary yellow silk design, which spreads like wings as she opens her arms.

“Woah.”

“There’s already been a girl and boy on fire.” Cinna says. “But that doesn’t mean you have to dress as coal miners. Let’s make them remember you.” He winks at Whimsy.

“You’re sure to have all eyes on you.” Vanity adds. “Make us proud.”

Everest nods, stepping up onto the carriage and squaring his shoulders. He notices Whimsy nervously fidgeting with her gown. “If you need more room for the wings, you can come farther this way.”

She nods, “thank you.”

The horses set off down the runway at a steady pace. District by district, the chariots disappear through the archway and into view of the audience.

Whimsy looks to Everest, once they are visible to the people, “now?”

“You first.” She deserves a moment to win them over.

She spreads her arms, revealing the unique design of her dress and the wings they never saw coming. More applause, whistling, white roses falling from the stands.

Everest can’t find his parents amongst them, he tries one last time before hitting the button which ignites his suit. The material sparks, like the lighted end of a burning blasting rope and the audience loses their minds.

Oh, to be Everest Abernathy.

————————————————————————

The elevator doors open once they reach the twelfth floor. Revealing the penthouse living quarters of the tribute center. It’s more lavish than Everest remembers from when he was small. With crystal chandeliers, a sizable dining table, sitting room and multiple projection screens.

“Woah,” Whimsy marvels, gazing up at the vaulted ceiling.

Katniss commandeers the room nearest the entrance. Locking the door behind her.

“Why don’t you both get settled in? Get some of that make up off before dinner.” Haymitch suggests, rubbing circles into Y/N’s back as she leans into him.

Whimsy takes the room across from Katniss and makes herself comfortable. Leaving only Everest and his parents.

“Where were you while I was getting ready for the parade?”

“Out scouting potential sponsors.”

“There’s a line out the door to sponsor me.” Everest narrows his eyes, “if I’m old enough to fight to the death, I’m old enough to know what’s going on here.”

Haymitch sighs, “leave it alone, Everest.”

The boy asks again. “Where did you go?”

“There are certain responsibilities we have while here mentoring.” Y/N explains.

“That’s bullshit!”

Haymitch holds up a hand. “It’s been a long day, we could all use a good night’s rest.”

“Is that why Honey-”

“Keep your voice down.” Haymitch seethes. “You’re allowed to be angry. Hold onto that, let it drive you. But this is bigger than any of us. We do what we have to, to keep our family safe. It’s not your burden to bear.”

“I just want to help you.” Everest murmurs.

“You can help us by staying alive. That is your only job. Do you understand?” Haymitch is cracking under the pressure, beneath the unimaginable weight of it.

“Yes,” Everest nods.

“How long have you known about Honey?” Y/N wonders.

“I don’t really know anything,” Everest purses his lips.

“If anyone found out…” about Honey, “it would come back to bite all of us.”

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone, Mom.” Everest breathes, “I just want it to make sense.”

“The things we have done will never make sense.” Y/N murmurs, “but that’s for us to live with. Not you.”

He would argue more, under normal circumstances. But right now, he can’t bear the thought of causing her anymore pain. “Ok.”

————————————————————————

What his father said is true, about the anger as fuel thing. If it weren’t for the proverbial guillotine hanging over his family’s head, Everest would be storming Snow’s mansion himself.

He loses himself in the sparring, nearly injuring the career boy from district 1. Cashmere’s tribute. “Are you ok?” Everest attempts to help him to his feet.

“I don’t think you should be out on the mat.” The boy slaps his hand away. “It’s bad enough that you’ve got immunity, you don’t need maim us before hand.”

“I wasn’t trying to maim you and I don’t-” the boy is gone before Everest can finish, “have immunity.”

Whimsy approaches her partner, carefully. “Do you have a weapon of choice? Or do you intend to kill with your bare hands?”

Everest shakes his head to clear it. “My dad said we shouldn’t demonstrate our skills in front of the other tributes.”

“Well Katniss said that’s a crock of shit so…”

Everest chuckles, “of course she did.”

“I don’t think it really matters what you do or don’t do at this point, there’s a target on your back.”

“You’re probably right.” He admits, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I can wield and throw knives, I’m pretty good with a sword or an axe. Not great with a bow, but I can shoot.”

“Very victor’s kid of you.” Whimsy reaches for the nearby sickle. “Do you know how to use this pointy hook thing?”

“No,” Everest laughs. “Do you?”

————————————————————————

Despite her initial hesitation, after three days of training. Whimsy receives a solid seven at her assessment.

“Good job.” The occupants of District 12’s sitting room rejoice, huddled together on the lavish couch.

“Told you.” Everest bumps her shoulder with his own.

“And lastly, Everest Abernathy, from District 12. With a score of…” Caesar pauses for effect. “Twelve.”

“Twelve?” Whimsy turns to him. “No one gets a twelve! Not even the careers.”

“Good thing we’re allies, right?”

Y/N leans closer to Haymitch, whispering to him, frantically. He listens, with a blank expression, all the blood having drained from his face. Running his hand up and down his wife’s back, over and over again, too hard and fast to be comforting.

Everest feels the erratic movement of the cushion beside him before he sees it. “Dad?” He places a hand over his father’s to still it.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ok?”

Haymitch forces a smile, “of course. We should celebrate.”

————————————————————————

“Now Everest, you know I have to ask. How does it feel to receive the highest assessment score ever given to a tribute?”

“Good, I guess.”

“You guess,” Caesar laughs. “So funny, our boy.”

The crowd joins in.

“How did you do it? Have you been training? Planning to volunteer perhaps?”

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, Caesar, but I was raised by Y/N and Haymitch Abernathy.”

More cackling.

“Was I planning to volunteer? No. But am I prepared for this? Yes.”

“Some might argue that victory is in your blood.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

“You’ve been on this stage since you were in diapers.” Caesar paints on a somber expression. Or perhaps it is a true representation of his grief. “It seems odd to say goodbye without knowing if we’ll see each other again.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Everest lays it on thick.

Caesar nods, as tears roll onto his cheeks.

“It was really nice knowing you, Caesar.” Everest takes the man’s hand. “It was nice knowing all of you.”

The crowd begins a tearful round of applause.

“It was nice knowing you too.” Caesar places his free hand over his heart, to still it. “Let’s hear it, one last time, for Everest Abernathy!”

Everyone in attendance is on their feet. A standing ovation.

Everest squints into the audience, against the harsh stage lights and finds his parents among them. Clapping for him. Proud of him. Scared for him.

When it is over, he makes a beeline for them backstage, flying into their arms.

“We’re so proud of you, baby.” Y/N runs a hand over his hair.

“That was perfect.”

————————————————————————

Everest’s last night before the games is spent with his parents hovering over him. “I’m going to bed.”

“Everest, wait.” Y/N stops him.

“Yeah?”

“Remember what we said about the arena. Once you’re inside, there isn’t much we can do besides send gifts from sponsors.“

“I know, Dad. We’ve been over this like ten times.” Everest smiles, “I got it.”

“A-alright.” Haymitch stammers.

“I’m gonna fight like hell, ok?” Everest promises, looking between his mother and father. “I’m going to do everything I can to come home to you, but if I can’t…. I need you to know that isn’t your fault.”

Y/N stares at her son with glossy eyes. How did we get here, my sweet boy? How did this happen?

“You are the best parents any kid could ask for. You loved me and protected me and taught me how to be a good person. That’s a rare thing in this world.” Everest reminds them. “I love you so much.”

“We love you more.”

“I know! I know how much you love me. I know how much you tried to prevent this from happening. I know how hard you’re fighting for me still. I saw it all. I know.” Everest’s voice cracks, “I’m your son. Nobody can take that away from you, ever. You’re my mom and dad. Nothing will change that.” Not life or death, or anything in between.

Everest is sandwiched between them again; and he welcomes it.

“I have something for you.” Haymitch says, after a long moment. Producing a token for his son. One that had once been his.

Everest stares down at the flint striker, secured on a yellow metal chain which is surely part of his mother’s token. Pieces of them together. Just like him.

————————————————————————

At some point the Abernathys must’ve fallen asleep on the sitting room sectional. Everest wakes long before dawn to a clattering near the bar cart.

“Shit.”

“Katniss?” Everest rubs at his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was out here. Go back to sleep.”

“Don’t think I can now.” He admits, joining her at the opposite corner of the room.

Katniss stares down at the bottle in her hand, “your mom probably has something to help with that.”

“My mom has something to help with everything.” Everest chuckles.

“She’s been a wreck, your dad too.”

“I figured.” He blanches, “take care of them for me, will you? No matter what happens in the arena… knowing they have you helps.”

“Of course.” Katniss agrees, “but you’re not dying in that arena.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know you and what you’re capable of. You’re going to finish what your parents started. What I failed to do.” Katniss tells him. “You’re going to win the games.”

“No one ever wins the games.” His father taught him that.

“You will. You have to.” The girl on fire insists, with embers burning in her eyes. “This is our last chance. Our last hope…is you.”

Everest sucks in a breath.

“When you hear that cannon tomorrow, run as fast as you can. Don’t be a hero. Take Whimsy with you, if you can. You haven’t made any other alliances, which I think is smart. It’ll be easier to do what you have to that way. You aren’t there to save them. You can’t. You’ll die trying.”

Everest nods.

“Focus on your surroundings. Find water, food and high ground.”

“I got that part.”

“Good, go get some more sleep. You’ll need it.” Katniss squeezes his shoulder, leaving him to it.

Series Taglist: @lovely-waves @pookiei-bookie @derersketnoget @getawaycarsficrecs

[bloodredcarnations]

SVSSS is just such a goddamn goldmine for ships, it actually makes me a little feral.

First off is the main two, right? Except there's Bingge, Bingmei, Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu. There's like all different ships depending on which two (OR THREE) iterations are involved. (THIS IS SOME MIRACULOUS LADYBUG BULLSHIT ON CRACK.)

(1) Bingqiu or Shen Yuan x Bingmei, the main couple of SVSSS. They're such freak for freak. One faked their suicide the other one decided to keep the BODY from said suicide for five years??? So much is wrong with them and I love every bit of it.

(2) Shen Yuan x Bingge, usually in which Bingge finds a way to steal Shen Yuan from Bingmei or if Shen Yuan transmigrates into post-abyss LBH. The blue balls Shen Yuan would give that guy because he wouldn't have the pathetic begging dog energy Bingmei has and Shen Yuan would literally NEVER pick up that the stallion protagonist wants to fuck him.

(3) Bingjiu or Shen Jiu x Bingge, delicious toxic yaoi. The worst of the goddamn worst. Cycles of abuse except it's literally just them. When the ship is so broken you need to call in a construction crew. When they're fated but in the sense that they need to destroy each other.

(4) Shen Jiu x Bingmei, any fic where Shen Jiu treats LBH with a modicum of mercy or respect when he's still his disciple usually results in some version of Bingmei. The fluff is great, the breaking of the cycle. The ability to believe in happy endings for these two broken people.

(5) Shen Jiu x Shen Yuan, the amount of variations for this one is absurd. My personal favorites are transmigrated peak lord! Shen Yuan x Shen Jiu or reverse transmigrated! Shen Jiu x Shen Yuan. But there's so many ways to pair the gentleness of Shen Yuan with the thorniness of Shen Jiu.

(6) Bingge x Bingmei, so funny in concept but also, definitely selfcest. I think Bingge is narcissistic enough to fuck himself. It also fulfils my Bingmei gets topped agenda so really a win is a win.

(7) Shenbingshen or Shen Yuan x Bingmei x Shen Jiu, I think Bingmei deserves two shizuns for a treat! But yeah the idea that Bingmei falls for both shitty cold as hell tsundere Shen Jiu and his warm kind but secretly such a goddamn freak Shen Yuan is so golden and the way he would get so jealous of the way they would treat EACH OTHER.

(8) Bingqiubing or Bingge x Shen Yuan x Bingmei, this would be such a mess. This would trigger wars. This would be the greatest drama ever. Shen Yuan would be wife plot kidnapped every other week. Neither LBHs would let up. Maybe one day they'll learn to share lol.

Okay so those are all the Shen x Bing ships (that I know of), now let's add in Liu Qingge.

(9) Liushen or Liu Qingge x Shen Yuan, savior x devoted knight dynamic. The way Liu Qingge would be so confused over THE Shen Qingqiu being nice and smiley and the speed of which he would fall. The absolute confused thirst 'straight' Shen Yuan has over this gorgeous muscled warrior immortal who brings him monster carcasses. They're idiot x idiot and I love every bit of it.

(10) Liujiu or Liu Qingge x Shen Jiu in which Shen Jiu manages to save Liu Qingge. The doomed rivals to lovers energy from PIDW and the changing of their fate. The way Liu Qingge would be so horrified to find out about Shen Jiu's past. Good martial god dick could fix Shen Jiu, trust (not serious).

(11) Bingliu or Liu Qingge x Luo Binghe, the only universe I could imagine this happening is if Shen Yuan rejected them both (which would be so funny) or maybe they have an enemies to lovers arc during the 5 year period in with Shen Yuan is d e a d. As the two characters who were impacted the both by Shen Yuan's arrival (and death) it would be so interesting to watch them bond over that.

(12) Liubingshen or Liu Qingge x Luo Binghe x Shen Yuan, one of the peak poly ships in this fandom. It's just Bingliu but make it even better. The synergies of open and vulnerable Bingmei x his secretive Shizun and emotionally stunted Shishu at once is just so good.

And of course who can forget poor long divorced Yue Qingyuan.

(13) Qijiu or Yue Qingyuan x Shen Jiu, the ship that invented divorce. The misunderstandings between them are wide as an ocean. The things Yue Qingyuan lets Shen Jiu get away with because of his never-ending guilt and his refusal to actually communicate. When the silence between two people stretches so far and so long that it borders on unfixable. The doomed nature at the end of their lives in PIDW. Amazing ship.

(14) Yue Qingyuan x Shen Yuan, it's such a horror situation. The (divorced) love of his life is replaced by this kinder, gentler version. A version that smiles at him and forgives him, but also doesn't know, doesn't remember. The worst part is YQY potentially favoring this version of SQQ and feeling so much guilt over it, and still falling anyway.

(15) Yue Qingyuan x Shen Jiu x Shen Yuan, aka having a third party come in and marriage counsellor YQY and SJ. They could be really funny, I think. I especially love the concept of YQY and SJ already being a thing and begging Shen Yuan to be their third only for Shen Yuan to do his usual mental filter things.

(16) Yue Qingyuan x Shen Jiu x Liu Qingge, I just think the idea of Shen Jiu reconciling with two people who he's been nothing but awful to as a disciple would be neat. Not to mention, I like the concept of YQY and LQG having to work together during the Qiu Haitang-water prison arc to fight for his reputation against Bingge.

And of course there's the glorious Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky.

(17) Cumplane or Shen Yuan x Shang Qinghua, the true soulmates of the SVSSS world. Author x the guy who hate-read your novel so hard he literally died over it. In literally any other media, being the only two transmigrated people in a novel would be grounds to get together. They are so goddamn funny.

(18) Shen Jiu x Shang Qinghua, the tortured scum villain x the author who wrote his complexity out of the story. Imagine Shen Jiu meeting the guy who literally knows everything about him against his will, who twisted his fate and portrayal in the novel to survive in the real world. Imagine Shang Qinghua realizing things about his creation that he forgot/didn't even know about. There is so much potential here.

(19) Shen Jiu x OG! Shang Qinghua, which is just so fascinating as a villain x villain ship from PIDW. The traitorous Shang Qinghua gets his ass saved by shitty and cold as hell Shen Jiu who sees a man who reflects himself in terms of being scum. They would be so awful but they could be awful together.

(20) Moshang or Mobei-jun x Shang Qinghua, creator x literal manifestation of his ideal man. It's so cracked and sosososo good. Shang Qinghua perfected the art of being so pathetic he gets picked up by this demon king and he doesn't even know that's the effect he's having on Mobei-jun.

These are all the ships I know and like the idea of. I know there's more out there, but my brain can really only hold so many at once without overloading and dying. I love SVSSS for being so goddamn chaotic with the possible pairings as well as the endless possibilities within each of them. Most of these ships deserve separate posts of their own but I digress.

[creatingblackcharacters]

For a few years now, since I became aware of the concept, I've tried to impress upon my white friends that the culture-less state of being American whiteness relies on is A, a sad way to live; B, something that can and does lead to harm, including but not limited to cultural appropriation, and especially at the expense of Black people and culture; and C, something that is in their interest to try to escape from without performing said harm.

This has been a somewhat difficult idea to explain, but Sinners does it so flawlessly. It really gives white viewers the tools they need to understand not only that this type of harm exists, but also that they are quite capable of it. I'm often the friend who has to take people aside and be like, "heyy, you actually do capitalize the first letter of Indigenous, yes even in this context," and movies like Sinners make that kind of work so much easier.

This is not to say it is the responsibility of movies and such to educate audiences in this way of course, but when such a piece does come around, it can be a lot more accessible and thus more effective than, say, a textbook. To that end, do you know any other media that do a similar job of giving audiences the tools to make race and racism easier (if not less heavy or painful) to talk about?

Thank you for your help, and for running another accessible resource for learning about this stuff! I really appreciate what you do here.

Btw, while I am in your inbox--do you have any other media you want to hype up, whether or not they have to do with the topic at hand?

There is plenty of media about real world figures suffering under the violence of racism- Malcolm X, Fruitvale Station, When They See Us, Jasper, TX, 12 Years a Slave, Selma. None of those things are "easier" watches, but it does put the brutality in your face. I'm not sure how you could watch them and not get it. There are also documentaries- look up documentaries of the Black experience! Grass is Greener, Stamped, 13th, I Am Not Your Negro, LA 92.

I am averse to saying that fiction movies would necessarily make it easier or more accessible than a documentary telling you the facts straight up. Because even for Sinners, the movie didn't give you the tools, it gave you the symbolism- if you lacked the tools walking in (media comprehension and the base understanding of antiblackness and manifestations of white racism), then no, you didn't understand the movie- and a LOT of people have shown that they did not understand Sinners!

I will say that I have mixed feelings about this. A lot of Black people are very tired of Black trauma movies. Now, I do think it's important to recognize the violence in our history- it is CLEAR that we need to know and remember these things, to show that they happened and that we saw them! But I understand their frustration when it comes to questions like yours, where you want people to understand racism through being- and I hate to say it this way- entertained by our suffering. Because it's like... How many of these movies do we have to make, where we bleed and suffer and die on screen, and y'all still don't do anything after watching it? Why do you have to see fictional people suffering to understand, when the real ones don't move you? Why does it take a movie to enforce our humanity?

That's why you can show them these movies, but if they're not willing to watch the documentaries or do the reading, their efforts at antiracism will only go so far. Make sure you tell them that last bit I said, because it's something y'all need to think about.

[magicalrocketships]

Rivers of Light || Max/Daniel || part 13 ||

(reminder that this in its entirety contains mpreg, reference to giving birth, Max Verstappen's bad dad, past abuse, and on-track accidents.) Continue suspending that disbelief.

All previous parts can be found in the masterpost here. This chapter is on AO3 here.

He hadn't thought past the birth. He'd assumed it would be bad then and fine afterwards. Sometimes he thinks it's worse now.

It's a long drive home.

Bastiaan never picks the same times to cry for both a wet nappy and a feed, and Daniel has to keep on stopping so Max can comfort his pitifully sobbing baby. Max's dad would have been furious with all the breaks, but Daniel doesn't complain. He buys them sandwiches and drinks around lunchtime, and when they have to pull over for a nappy change mid-afternoon, he holds the changing bag and passes things over when there aren't baby changing facilities and Bastiaan has to put up with the indignity of being changed on the back seat of the car with Max kneeling painfully in the gravel.

Max tries not to think about how there are only two nappies left in his bag, and only a handful at home. Before Bastiaan had arrived, Max had assumed babies peed a normal amount, but then Bastiaan had gone through 12 nappies in a single day and Max had to start buying bigger boxes of them. Max needs money, and he's going to need it soon. It's no longer a matter of Max wanting to go back to the only thing he's ever wanted to do with his life, it's a fucking necessity. Max is drowning.

Bastiaan doesn't enjoy the backseat change. He cries throughout. Max tries to be quick, but he's tired too, and his fingers feel thick and clumsy. He normally uses little disposable bags to put the used nappies in when he's done, but he can't get this one to open so Daniel has to take over and help.

"We will be home soon, Bastiaan," Max tells his baby, depositing the nappy and wipes into the bag Daniel's holding open for him. He wipes his hands clean on a fresh wipe, then busies himself pulling up Bastiaan's little leggings and adjusting his cardigan. "That'll be nice, won't it? Home and safe." He gathers Bastiaan into his arms, standing up and cradling a distressed little boy to his chest in the corner of a car park. "I know you're very put out. It wasn't nice waiting for a change, was it? Waking up wet and then having to wait for Daniel to stop." He kisses Bastiaan's hair, rocking him. Bastiaan likes being comforted. Daniel's tying the nappy bag closed then jogging to throw it away in an overflowing bin. Max kisses Bastiaan again. "Home soon." He doesn't know if he's comforting himself or his baby. Maybe both.

Daniel walks back. "All done," he says, brushing his hands on his jeans. He leans into the car and comes back out with a half drunk bottle of Coke. He drinks some of it and holds it out for Max to have a drink. "You okay?"

"Of course, Daniel," Max says, taking a sip and handing it back. Bastiaan is settling, but it's clear he's almost done with being in a car all day. Max feels the same. He stretches his legs, doing a couple of side lunges, one to the front, then another. It's different being cooped up as a passenger than out on the track or on the sim. It's hard when he's this tired. When he's still so fucking uncomfortable from giving birth. He's running out of pads for his underwear too and he didn't know he'd still be bleeding now. He hadn't had anyone to ask. He hadn't thought past the birth. He'd assumed it would be bad then and fine afterwards. Sometimes he thinks it's worse now, because it's been going on so long. He's been using an antiseptic cream he'd found in the bottom of one of his bags from his dad's, probably left over from when he was still racing. It's pretty much run out.

Daniel leans in and touches his finger to Bastiaan's pink cheek. Bastiaan promptly hiccups and looks very surprised. "You've had a very long couple of days, haven't you, Bastiaan? Bet you'll be glad to be home." He looks up at Max. "You too."

"Yeah," Max says. "I think it will be nice to be at home."

Daniel doesn't look away.

Max ducks his head to kiss Bastiaan's hair. Not long now.

&&&

Max dozes for the final bit of the journey. He opens his eyes when Daniel says, "Max, I think we're almost there." He's indicating off the main road, slowing down to turn right.

They're not there yet. Max had put the farmhouse address in the GPS, which isn't where he lives. It's close, but it's not where he lives.

"Is this right?" Daniel asks. He's pointing at the sign.

"Yes," Max says. "We are almost there."

They drive down the road. It's a minute or so before the farmhouse comes into view, and the robot voice starts to tell them that their destination is on the left. Daniel starts to slow down.

"No," Max says. "Drive on. That is the farm."

They drive on a little further. There are signs saying welcome to the holiday park. It's neatly manicured. There's a no guest access exit on the left; a farm track leading between trees.

"Down there," Max says.

"It says no entry," Daniel says.

"That doesn't mean us."

The track leads down the wide track beyond the pine trees and into a farmyard. There's an old tractor in the corner. The ground is caked dusty mud and gravel. There are three static caravans in the yard. One is brand new; it was only delivered last week. It's not going to be moved on to the site until next month, when one of the vans is due for an upgrade and is being swapped out. One is old and is waiting to be picked up. It's going to be used as a cheap clubhouse somewhere. The other is Max's. It's also old, but its British owner died a year ago, and the family has been arguing over ownership and waiting until the will has stopped being contested before they can sell it.

Max pays minimal rent to cover the pitch fees for the duration. He doesn't pay enough to keep it on the main holiday park site. Celine did him a favour by letting him live here, on the farm lands.

Bastiaan starts to cry.

"Baby, can you see where we are?" Max says. "We're home. And it's going to be nice to be home, isn't it? Where it's quiet and familiar." He looks up at Daniel, points out the window. "You can park there. Just by the door."

"Max," Daniel says.

"By the door," Max says, and he doesn't bother undoing the little harness keeping Bastiaan in the seat. He clicks open the belt securing the seat instead, sliding it over to him as he climbs out the car. His key is in his pocket. There's a little metal step stool by the caravan door, rubber footed and topped for extra grip. He puts the car seat down on it while he's unlocking the door, then brings Bastiaan inside with him.

It's just how he left it. The washing up hasn't done itself since he's been gone. His soup bowl is still half-submerged in water. He puts Bastiaan's car seat on the floor by his blanket, and undoes the buckle to get Bastiaan out. He sits on the floor with his back up against the sofa, and hugs his baby to his chest.

"Shush, little baby," Max says. "There's nothing to be scared or upset about now. We're at home now. There's your blanket, and in the bedroom there's your bed and my bed, and you don't have to be in a car any longer." Bastiaan has spent every night of his life since they came out of hospital in this caravan. Every night but last night. Everything must have been very scary and unfamiliar. He kisses Bastiaan's forehead. Then his nose. His cheek. Bastiaan fusses, but when Max tries out laying him down on the blanket with Max next to him, Bastiaan voices his displeasure. He likes being as close to Max as possible, and he's had to spend all day in a car and not in his daddy's arms.

It's okay. Max has missed hugging him too. He sits back up with him.

Daniel brings in Max's backpack and Bastiaan's changing bag and his suitcase. He puts them on the floor in the kitchen area because there's no space on Max's cluttered table. He goes back out and comes back with the carrycot and all the associated pram things. They go on the floor in front of the gas fire. Out again, and then he's back with his bag, and the remains of the snacks from the car.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

Max looks up at him. Daniel's expression looks funny. Max doesn't understand it. Maybe Daniel's as tired as Max is.

"The sofa's fine," Daniel says. "I won't be any trouble."

There is a second bedroom with twin beds, but Max uses one as Bastiaan's changing station and the other for all of Bastiaan's clothes. In his bedroom, he has one half of the bed and Bastiaan's Moses basket has the other half. Max doesn't want Daniel to go. He doesn't want him to leave Max here alone. He thinks the sofa pulls out but he hasn't ever tried it. He has a sleeping bag from when he first left his dad's.

"Yes," Max says. "You can stay."

"Great," Daniel says. His smile doesn't reach his eyes. "Where's your toilet?"

"There," Max says, pointing towards the door at the other side of the kitchen, next to the door they've just come in through. "Through there and on the right."

Daniel comes back a moment later. "Have you got any toilet roll anywhere?"

Max shrugs. "Try the bathroom in my bedroom. At the end. I don't use this one much."

While he's gone, Max rocks his baby. "You're good," he tells Bastiaan, because he's going to tell him so much that Bastiaan will never, ever forget it and will never know what it feels like to be a disappointment. "You're the best little boy in the world."

Bastiaan's losing his little sock again. Max pulls it back up. Rearranges Bastiaan's cardigan so he's warm.

"It's going to be okay," Max tells him. He's not sure if he's telling Bastiaan or if he's telling himself. Bastiaan looks at him. He's not fussing any more. He's smiling. At Max. At his daddy. "I promise you. It's going to be okay."

Max just doesn't know how.

[theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming]

Nicole Reads A Lot of Fanfiction (and she's gonna share it with you): Week 20/21/22

Week [1] [2] [3] [4/5/6] [7] [8] [9] [10/11] [12/13] [14] [15] [16] [17/18/19]

All I have to say is Week 21 is brought to you by fics written/co-written by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels.. and that's why I read 8 of them.. whoops.

Concerned about the length of some of these? Listen, you gotta have something to read when stuck up in the sky for hours and hours. Bless the authors for providing me with many words I can keep open on my phone with no wifi.

Yes i know I need a hobby or something :P

Anyway.

Buddie: 20 Sterek: 5

seven devils by florenceandthemachine | @florenceandthemachine (2020•T•16.9K)

“You really love that kid, huh?” Buck murmured against his chest, and Eddie smiled, a soft chuckle making his chest (and Buck’s head) shake. “I do. He deserves everything I can give him and so much more. I’d do anything, give up anything, to make sure Chris is happy and safe.” “You’d... sell your car for him?” He asked, looking up as Eddie scoffed. “Please. In a heartbeat.” Buck rose a brow, fingers circling Eddie’s palm. “You’d sell your house?” “Without a doubt.” Eddie locked Buck’s fingers in his own, bringing their hands to his lips, kissing each of Buck’s knuckles. “Would you sell your soul?”

the beast you've made of me by florenceandthemachine | @florenceandthemachine (2020•GA•3.6K)

“It’s an omen.” “It’s not an omen, Chim. Jesus.” “Look, Eddie, all I’m saying is that it could be an omen.” “Wait,” Buck interjected, flopping down on the couch beside Eddie, easily tossing his legs up onto Eddie’s lap. “What’s an omen? Did Eddie get an omen? Wait, did you get cursed? Because you all know, I’m very—“ “We know,” Chim started, his eyes rolling back to a degree that would have hurt an average man. “We know, you’re in tune to the ethereal.” Buck shrugged, chewing on a thumbnail, getting more comfortable on the couch. “I’m just saying. I’d know if Eddie were cursed. What’s up with your omen?” Eddie winced as he felt Buck’s legs press down a bit on his lap, the stupidity of everything he had experienced weighing down on him. It sounded so stupid to say out loud, but there was no denying what he had seen—especially since Hen had seen the same on their last call. “I mean, I don’t think it’s a curse. I think I’m being… followed. Stalked, maybe?” he started, Buck’s expression quickly going to one of concern. “But, no, nothing bad. It’s honestly helpful. There’s just… a dog. I’ve seen this dog, the same dog, on the past few calls we’ve been on.”

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @extasiswings @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2020•E•68.1K)

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea. Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right? There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @extasiswings @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2022•E•13.4K)

Eddie Diaz is a professional. It’s not like he didn’t know who he was going to shoot when he got the call. He’s good at his job, even if he’s a bit of a recluse by industry standards—he knows who Buck is. Knows the name, the pictures, the reputation. A bit of a wild child. A bit of a party boy. Maybe more than a bit. Rumor has it that right before he made it big he almost got dropped by his agency for being a little too reckless. But that's fine by him—Eddie can handle beautiful people, he's around them all the time. Eddie doesn't sleep with models. And Buck doesn't sleep with photographers. They're professionals. Until they aren't.

Don't Play Games (Come My Way) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2022•E•43.1K)

Buck hates Eddie Diaz. Ever since his publishing company and Eddie's merged, the man has been nothing but a pain in Buck's ass. The way he nitpicks all of Buck's company emails, the way he spends half his day bickering with Buck, the way he makes Buck's stomach flip and the way he's started haunting Buck's dreams... yeah, it's one hundred percent hate. Definitely. Buck's sure of it. Because what the hell else could it be?

Heart, I Implore You by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2020•E•7.4K)

When Buck finds out his best friend isn't exactly human, he volunteers to help keep Eddie from dying. It's definitely just to keep Eddie from dying. No other reason. None whatsoever.

Even the Darkest Night (Can't Outshine the Stars) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2021•M•16.3K)

Eddie and Christopher Diaz have had a tough year. So when Chris sees a star fall, Eddie promises to fetch it for his ninth birthday. Just one problem: The star is a person, his name is Buck, and everyone in the damn kingdom is after him.

Ruin Me Like Castle Walls and Burn Me Like a Village by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2020•E•6.5K)

When a call goes wrong, Buck sees a new side to Eddie, and starts to realize a lot of things about his best friend. And himself.

Love Like the Ocean (Dirties Your Body, Cleans Your Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2023•E•4.9K)

Eddie and Buck have been dating for a while, but practicalities have prevented them from having sex in Buck's true form. That's about to change.

Curl Up in My Heart and Let Me Keep You by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels | @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (2022•T•10.5K)

When an orange tabby cat starts hanging around the Diaz house, Eddie doesn't think anything of it. The little guy's cute and cuddly, and seems to always know when Eddie's having a bad time. Weird how the cat's never around when Buck is, though.

Buckley's Brew & Cat Cafe by newbuddiefan (2022•GA•10.6K)

Eddie wants a simpler life so he and Christopher move to the small town of Woodville, Oregon to get a new start. Christopher mostly just wants a cat. Is it fate that during their first week in this new town they stumble across a cat cafe? Probably. Even better, it's run by the handsome Evan Buckley.

You Can't Blame Me for Trying by ScribblingArtemis | @scribblingartemis (2022•M•124.8K)

As beginnings go... theirs could have gone so much better. "Finally giving in, Buck dropped the weights and spun to face Diaz with a snarl. “What?” “What, man?” Diaz replied taken aback, his eyes snapping up from Buck’s chest to his face quickly. “Like what you see or something, Diaz?” “Sorry, no.” Buck raised an eyebrow, strangely disappointed in his answer." The story of two men trying, failing, and maybe eventually succeeding in navigating their developing relationship while life throws absolutely everything at them. From girlfriends to wives; bombs to natural disasters; a lot of angst and unbearable pining; can they get through all the hardships to come together?

intertwined by Tizniz | @tizniz (2025•GA•1.6K)

“You’re just…you’re in every part of my life, Buck.” Eddie is still staring at the clothes. Buck recognizes a splotch of orange - it’s one of his hoodies. “We’ve become so intertwined over the years. Even when I was living in Texas!” OR: an 8x18 coda

a left at the graveyard (i'm driving past ghosts) by bucksprideflag (2025•GA•36K)

“My mom died,” Buck says flatly, like reciting a fact he read somewhere. He adds a small shrug, as if that explains it. It doesn’t feel real. The words sit in the air, weightless and strange. Eddie frowns. Bobby shifts closer. “Are you okay?” Bobby asks gently. Buck blinks at him, then gives a quick nod, too fast to be convincing. “Yeah,” he says. His voice is thin, brittle. “Did you want me to start lunch? I was thinking maybe that cheesy broccoli bake.” Eddie’s brows knit together. “Buck…” he says carefully, voice low and steady. “Or chili,” Buck continues, his hands smoothing out a crease in his jacket like that’s the thing that matters. “I think we’ve got enough ground beef.” “Buck,” Eddie says again, firmer this time. Buck’s hands still. He finally looks up, meeting Eddie’s eyes. Oh. His mom died. or Margaret Buckley dies, and Buck tries to navigate grief, develops a complex relationship with apple pie, while Eddie, as always, is there.

it's all washin' over me (i'm angry again) by bucksprideflag (2025•GA•8.6K)

Buck doesn’t know when it starts. Maybe it’s in April—a passing comment from someone, a commercial on TV, a casual conversation at the firehouse about brunch reservations and flower deliveries. Or maybe it’s earlier than that, creeping in quietly, unnoticed, curling around the edges of his mind. Or maybe it’s now, when a single Mother’s Day card display catches his eye at Target—rows of pastel envelopes and flowery script, shouting For the World’s Best Mom! He doesn’t understand it. It’s been nine months since his mom died, and for the most part, he’s fine. Better than fine, even. That week of complicated grief—of breakdowns, apple pie and snow—feels like a lifetime ago. He made it through. He put himself back together. He learned how to carry what he couldn’t put down. And yet, here he is. or The first Mother's Day after Margaret Buckley dies, Buck is faced with the grief he thought he had left behind in Hershey.

right now could last forever just as long as I'm with you by smilingbuckley (SergeantChenford) | @sergeantchenford (2025•GA•3.4K)

“Why are you so normal?” Buck asks him. He winces as the words slip out. Eddie looks confused and raises an eyebrow, “Huh?” “You’re not… freaking out or disgusted or uncomfortable?” “Why would I be?” Eddie asks, handing Buck the underwear. Buck gives him a look. “Okay, fair point. Some men are probably very weird about it. But they’d probably be weird about it with women as well. I did grow up with two sisters, you know. It’s not the first time I’ve dealt with an emergency drive to the store.” “Yeah but… isn’t that different?” “Not really,” Eddie replies. “Wait, did you think I would find it weird? I haven’t treated you differently the past few years, have I? If so, I’m very sorry.” Buck shakes his head, “No. No… you knew?” Eddie shrugs, “Of course I did. You try to hide it, but I can always see when you’re feeling off or in pain.” (Or: male omegas menstruate and while living together Buck runs out of pads. Eddie is a sweetheart.)

I built a home for you, for me by staticsilencee (2024•T•21.1K)

“You know,” Bobby said, looking thoughtful, “I might have a solution for you. There’s a childcare center near here called Save the Day. They aren’t open overnight, of course, but they are open until 9 with the option to stay a bit late if a shift runs long.” Eddie stared at Bobby in wonder. “Holy shit. I should have told you about Chris during my interview for the station, that’s perfect! Wait– How much does it cost? I know childcare isn’t exactly cheap, and LA is already kind of expensive–” “Everyone at the 118 gets a discount. Perks of having an in at the daycare.” -or- After the ladder truck crushed his leg, Buck is unable to return to work and left permanently disabled. One of Maddie's friends at dispatch gets him a job working at a childcare center geared towards shift workers.

To Change the Prophecy by pinkpeachtea (2024•E•240.9K)

"It's just such a blessing," Margaret agreed to something Maddie must've said - something that Buck missed. "At first we thought we'd never become grandparents and now at least one of our children is giving us not just one but two!" Buck froze in his seat. The rest of the table did too. Everyone but Margaret and Phillip Buckley. Buck didn't even notice the stronger hold on his hand before Eddie spoke up, almost snapping, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" ——— Or, Buck and Eddie fake date over the holidays when Buck's parents come to town.

You make bad days infinitely better by thewolvesof1998 | @thewolvesof1998 (2025•T•3.0K)

He takes a few mouthfuls, steals himself and admits, “I don’t even know if I’m,” he waves, unable to say the word, which is something he was still working on with Frank. “Gay?” “Yeah, I just, there's this guy…Do you remember Buck?” “Hmmm Buck, Buck?” Sophia teases, tapping her chin exaggerated like a goddamn cartoon, “Oh yes! Your best friend, the person my nephew, Abuela, and you can’t stop talking about?” “Shut up,” He says, ducking his head and hoping the dark hides that he’s blushing furiously. “And does he like you back?” Eddie hesitates, thinking back over the last few months, all the moments that left him wondering if just maybe his feelings are returned, he sighs, “I don’t know.” OR Eddie has a no good, very bad day and the only thing that makes him feel better is talking to his bestest friend Buck.

Pride by the_p_in_raspberry (2025•T•3.5K)

Eddie Oh god I’ve been in love with him for years Ravi love is love 💖 😊 Eddie I’m having a panic attack

OR: it's pride month!!! The gang is celebrating, Eddie is figuring stuff out and Chris just really want his dad to stop pining

All The Dead Dears by TwoSistersOfPersephone (2025•E•49.7K)

It ends with a flash of white, bright light. Fucking witches. They’re the worst. It all goes to hell when Stiles slams his bat into the witch manning the altar mid-spell, feeling the coven’s collective attention turn to him, blackened eyes glittering with intent. And now? Well. The witches are gone. The Nemeton is safe. And he’s a fucking vampire, stuck with the one werewolf with the healing power to be Stiles’ personal Happy Meal (while he navigates this hopefully temporary situation). Who can teach him control. Who doesn’t live with a single human. Derek, with his steady and strong heartbeat that sounds like music to Stiles’ supernaturally enhanced ears. Derek, who’s giving him a soft, reassuring tilt of his lips, and maybe “insides turning to goo” is an as yet undiscovered part of vampirism? Derek, who’s been the star of every one of his wet dreams since he realized that petite, strawberry-blonde was no longer his type. Derek, who has let Stiles into his life more as adults than Stiles had ever dreamed of when they’d been young. Derek, who he’s slowly been falling for, if he’s honest with himself, since “this is private property.” Derek. He’s so fucked.

Theory of Overprotective Canines by rosepetals42 | @petals42 (2015•T•11.7K)

Stiles is totally looking forward to living alone in his super cool apartment off-campus. He is. He is also very excited to bike to school every day, ready to set up an awesome game room, and definitely over his crush on Derek Hale. Completely over it. Or at least he is until Derek decides he's moving in with him. And then turns out to be the perfect roommate. And then starts attending all his classes. As a wolf. This is not going according to plan.

Surrounded and up against a wall, I’ll shred ‘em all (and go with you) by Gorgeousgreymatter | @gorgeousgreymatter-x (2021•M•8.3K)

Stiles hates hospitals. He’s always hated hospitals. Well, not always (who likes them, anyway?), but since her. Since before -- and now just the thought of them makes him want to retch, gives him that crawling-out-his-skin feeling that makes him want to peel it all off with his fingernails. Which he should really stop biting, he muses, wincing as he tears a hangnail off with a rabid flash of teeth. Although, technically this wasn’t exactly a hospital. Not for humans anyway. But whatever, Stiles thinks, veterinary hospitals still counted. At least as long as Derek was in that back room screaming like he’s dying, because maybe he is.

A Wolf and His Boy by lovesrain44 (2013•M•59K)

While running in the woods, Stiles is attacked by a feral werewolf. This leaves him marked but unclaimed, which makes it open season on Stiles, which means that any wolf can claim him and take him away. Derek presents a solution, but Stiles says the price is too high. After all, it’s only his safety that is at risk, so he can say no. Right? Wrong.

calling out your name by mee4ever | @howdoyoudefinelying (2023•E•102.9K)

“Can’t you tell me what you want?” Perhaps it came out a little tired, a little annoyed, a little gruff, but it was just Stiles’ salary that would go to shit if the guy hung up. “I don’t know.” Oh. Okay. “You don’t know what you want, sir?” Stiles asked. This time, he made sure to make his voice light and sweet. “That’s okay. We can figure it out together.” Or the one where Stiles is a phone sex operator and his first repeat client is the silent, broody type.

[writingwhimsey]

Smut request please 👉🏻👈🏻

Character: Leon Dompteur (pls)

Scenario prompt #12

Dialogue prompt #3

I hope it's not too much for you... 💕

Hello dear! And thank you for the ask! Thank you for trusting me with your fave man! I hope you enjoy what I came up with!

For Smut's Sake Event

Scenario: Seeing the love marks they left on their partner and getting turned on

Dialogue: "Don't give me that look."

Suitor: ikepri Leon

NSFW 18+ content Oral female receiving, fingers, PIV

Marks of Love

Leon walked into the library. He knew this is where he would find her. He wasn’t surprised when he found her, sitting on a bench by an open window, a book opened in her lap and the sunlight forming a halo around her, making her glow.

He’d come looking for her, ready to steal her away for an adventure just the two of them. There was a festival going on in town and he knew that sometimes they both just needed a break away from the palace. A festival was the perfect thing. But then again, she looked so peaceful as she sat there engrossed in the story.

He smiled as he stood there silently watching her. Though he always fell asleep while reading, he loved how much she enjoyed it. He loved seeing her at ease and she looked completely at ease while reading. His amber gaze drank her in.

She let out a soft sigh as she turned the page. She then lifted her hand to move her hair off of her shoulder. That was when Leon noticed it. The love bite he had left on her neck the night before. Her fingers brushed faintly over the mark as she continued to read.

Was she aware of the mark? It was as if her fingers were lingering, tracing over the red petal. It was then Leon recalled how that wasn’t the only mark he had left on her last night. His eyes caught sight of another peeking out from the collar of her dress. He knew there were more on her stomach, chest, and thighs.

He began to warm as he recalled how sweetly she had moaned after each mark he’d left. How many times his name had left her lips as his own worshiped her. His heart began to pick up its pace as desire for her bloomed deep within him. 

She let out a gasp when she heard Leon let out a sigh he hadn’t even been aware of. She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “Leon… oh you gave me a fright.”

“Sorry.” Leon replied, giving her a sheepish look. 

“How long have you been standing there?” She asked.

“Long enough.” Leon answered. “Sorry, you just looked so beautiful.”

Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of rose at his words. “So, you were just watching me read?”

“Yeah.”

“But…what was with that sigh?” She asked. “It sounded…heated.”

Leon grinned. “Well…it’s hard not to get that way when you’re so brazenly showing off the proof of our love from last night.”

“What are you talking about, Leon?”

Leon pointed to a spot on his neck, wearing a grin. “Right here, on your neck.”

Her eyes went wide and her entire face turned bright red as she clapped a hand over the side of her neck. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” She asked, trying to give him a stern look but failing.

“I just now saw it…and the one peeking out from the collar of your dress here.” He said, pointing to his own collarbone.

“Have I really been like this all day? People could see…”

Leon walked over to her and knelt down beside her. “Yeah, people can see, but at least they know their queen is well loved.” He said, resting a hand on her thigh.

She gasped, feeling the heat even through the fabric of her dress. “Leon…”

He grinned. “I was going to sneak you out of here and to the festival in town… but I suddenly have other ideas.” He leaned in, nuzzling her neck.

“Leon…” She said, trying to give him a stern look and failing.

He grinned. “Don’t give me that look.”

They soon left the library, Leon carrying her to their shared bedroom. He didn’t set her down until they’d reached their bed. He laid her down and climbed on top of her, his large frame enveloping her smaller one.

Leon grinned as he lifted a hand, fingers beneath her chin. Her eyes were glowing with her own desire as she looked at him. “Leon…”

He spoke her name before leaning in and capturing her lips with his. His large hands roamed over her body sending waves of heat through her. He moved his lips from hers, going to trail kisses along her jaw and down the side of her neck even as his hands moved to undo her clothes.

Her own hands moved to undo the buttons and ties holding his clothes together. He’d already had her practically bare, his lips on the side of her neck. “Mmm…perhaps I should leave more marks.” He murmured against her skin, lips twitching into a devilish grin against her flesh.

“Mmm…don’t tease me…” She said, giving him a pout.

“I was just thinking this mark on your neck needs a partner.” He replied, before sucking on the skin next to the other mark. He slid a hand up her side before moving to cup one of her breasts, gently kneading it as he continued to spread more love bites over her neck.

“Ngh…Leon…” She moaned so sweetly, just as sweetly as the night before. Gods how he loved the sound of her voice. The feel of her skin against his. The way she moved. The way she smelled. The way she responded to every touch.

Slowly, Leon moved, kissing down the front of her body and leaving more love bites along her tender flesh, looking like a trail of rose petals. “You look so beautiful like this.” He murmured, kissing that sensitive spot just below her navel, his amber eyes were looking up at her, such intent as he did.

Her breath hitched. “Leon…”

He grinned, placing another kiss there before dipping his head between her thighs, lips and tongue, setting to work on that little pleasure pearl. She gasped and her hands immediately moved to fist in his hair, holding him in place.

His lips quirked into a grin against her heat for a moment before he continued his work. He licked and sucked that sweet little bud, causing her to writhe. Her hips jerked when he added his fingers, slipping two inside to further stimulate her.

She tasted so sweet! She was heaven as she moved under his ministrations, his name leaving her lips in gasps and moans. He could sense her release getting close as her thighs tightened around his head and her hands gripped his hair tighter, her hips bucking harder against his face.

“Hah…ngh…Leon!” She cried as her release hit her, her walls clutching at his fingers.

He continued through her release, drawing it out and drinking up her pleasure. He didn’t stop until her fingers grew slack in his hair and her thighs fell to the sides. Slowly and gently, he kissed back up the front of her body.

“You are so beautiful.” He told her as he hovered above her. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

She smiled up at him. “I love…you, Leon.” She said, still breathless and panting.

He gently kissed her lips. “I love you, too.” He said as he positioned himself between her legs, slipping inside. “And I plan to spend the rest of the day showing you just how much.”

She wrapped her own arms around him and let out a moan as he filled her. “Mmm…I want to…do the same…for you.” She replied, leaning in and kissing the side of his neck.

Leon gasped as he felt a warm stinging sensation, realizing she was leaving her own mark on him. He grinned. “I’m all yours.” He told her before he began to thrust. He would indeed spend the rest of the day showing her how much he loved her in every way he knew how.

Tag list:

@zulablaise @chirp-a-chirp @wistfulwanderingone @tooold4thisish

@limonzu @oda-princess @kisara-16 @tele86

@eventinelysplayground @bjorkshire-pudding @otomewonderland

@obeymetalesandikemen @lovely-bubb1es @lucyw260

@queengiuliettafirstlady @leiaglamela @almond-lebkuchen

@kissmetwicekissmedeadly @fang-and-feather @littlefox1572

[trippiexlove]

Echoes of Us -Ch. 2

Main Master List

Story Master List - If you haven't read the prologue I suggest you read it before reading this.

ENJOY!!! ♡

October 2003 - 1 month after the miscarriage

Amani laid in her twin size bed in her dorm room. The faint scent of her warm vanilla candle still lingering in the air. She just finished writing a 5 page paper for a class. 

Now she was curled up in her bed. Where she has been for the past month. Not wanting to socialize, or be around anyone.

She laid there, the memories of the last month flashed through her mind. Her fingers wrapped around the necklace her best friends gifted her not too long ago. With the baby's initials and a message engraved into it.

J.F. 2003 Mommy's Angel

She sniffled as her thumb grazed over the necklace. A lone tear  falling from eyes. 

"I'm so sorry" she whispered, eyes closing as more tears fell. 

The next morning Amani woke up her, the events of last night still lingering in the back of her mind. She laid there in the silence, streams of the morning light peeked through the sides of the blackout curtains. 

She pushed herself up, her silk bonnet slightly askew. As she got out the bed, swinging her legs to the side of the bed. Walking to her ensuite bathroom, her body felt heavy. She completed her morning routine, very sluggish and slow. 

She made her way downstairs, bypassing the coffee machine, needing a cold glass of water. When she took the first sip, the coolness not only quenched her thirst but the fire in her chest. The feelings, the memories that she suppressed came flooding back and she felt overwhelmed. 

She leaned against the cool granite counter, pressing her palms flat, trying to ground herself. How could twenty years rush back so quickly? How could one night, one dance, unravel the carefully constructed walls she'd built around that grief? The baby. Their baby. Josh didn't know. He never knew. The weight of that secret, coupled with the fresh sting of seeing him, felt crushing.

Amani closed her eyes, a tear escaping, tracing a path down her cheek. She was a strong woman, as she would like to think. But right now, she felt like that scared, heartbroken girl in the hospital room all over again.

A soft creak from the hallway startled her. Tameka appeared in the doorway, her hair in a messy bun, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What you doing up so early?" Her voice was soft, laced with concern.

Amani wiped her face quickly. "You know I never was the type to sleep in," she mumbled, trying to mask her turmoil with a joke. 

It seemed to work as Tameka didn't press any further. Shawna soon walked in the kitchen. "Oh look at sleeping beauty," Tameka joked to Shawna's dismay "surprised to see you up before 12"

"Girl please," Shawna rolled her eyes, making Amani laugh a little "not everybody a early bird like y'all" sitting at the large island "y'all want to go to brunch?"

Amani and Tameka immediately nodded their head, agreeing with the plans. They all went back upstairs to get ready for the day, Tameka and Shawna changing into clothes they brought with them. 

They made it to their favorite brunch spot, Willow & Whisk. Their server quickly coming to get their table, the girls ordering mimosas. 

Falling into their usual conversation, they looked over the menu. Shawna decided that now was the time to bring up last night. Not wanting to beat around the bush. "Ok I gave you grace last night, but we got to talk about it," she briefly paused, giving Amani a knowing look. "How you really feeling?"

Amani shrugged her shoulders, leaning back in her chair "I feel ok," both her best friends looked at her. Both of their expressions saying that didn't buy what she was saying. "what?"

"C'mon now Mani, we've known you for too damn long," Tameka rolled her eyes "be real with us"

"It's really nothing y'all" Amani knew she was lying. Not just to them but to herself. Luckily the server came back with their drinks, having the girls placed their food order before quickly walking away.

"Nothing? Mani please," Shawna took a sip of her mimosa, placing it back on the table. "We seen the way he was looking at you like a someone who found their long lost love"

Instantly the memories from last night flooded her mind. She could feel Josh's hands wrap securely around her waist. How easy it was for her body to mold into his like they were made for each other. 

She shook head, bringing her back to reality. "It was a lot I can admit that," she started, trying to piece her words together. "it brought back a lot of those feelings I stored away years ago" Amani sighed, pushing a stray of hair behind her ear. 

"Do you think you should tell him now?" Shawna asked, her gaze steady. "About the baby?"

Amani scoffed, a humorless sound. "And just drop a twenty-year bombshell?" She rubbed her temples. "No. Absolutely not."

"But, Mani," Tameka began, "don't you think he deserves to know?."

Amani shook her head, looking out the window, a knot forming in her stomach. "It's just... too much. I can't."

Shawna leaned forward, a determined glint in her eye. "What if you don't have a choice? What if he tries to contact you?"

"I still wouldn't tell him," defiance evident in her tone "there ain't a reason for him should know"

"Mani-" Tameka started but was cut off by Amani.

"Look I appreciate y'all concern but that's a door I closed a long time ago. I'm just not ready to open it again" Amani crossed her arms, almost like she was protecting herself. "If I tell him, it'll be when I'm ready"

After a beat of silence Tameka and Shawna both nodded their head. Though they didn't agree, they were going to support their friend regardless of her decision. Soon the server brought over their food, and Tameka quickly changed the subject. 

After returning back to her place afterwards, her best friends grabbed their stuff before heading out. Telling her they will get together soon before leaving her in the large house, replaying the events of the weekend. 

Days later, in a locker room getting ready for another Friday Night Smackdown. Josh sat on the couch in the locker room he shared with his brothers and cousin. He scrolled on his phone, briefly looking and liking post by fans. Buying himself time before he had to get ready for the night. 

His attention was pulled away from his phone by the door to the locker room opening. Jimmy coming in after a trip to catering. "What up uce?" He plopped down on the far end of the couch getting comfortable. 

Josh gave him a nod, still scrolling on his phone. "What's good"

"The reunion was lit this weekend," Jon leaned back on the couch "was cool to see everybody"

Josh nodded. "Yeah, it was aight." He put his phone done, grabbing the tape to wrap his hand, his mind drifting back to the reunion, to the emerald green dress, to Amani's eyes.

"Saw you and Mani," Jon nudged him, "look like y'all was having a little moment."

Josh let out a slow breath. "Yeah, it was good to see her." A wry smile touched his lips.

"You still got feelings for her, don't you?" Jon's question was direct, no judgment in his tone.

Josh didn't deny it. "To be real, seein' her brought it all back, uce. I ain't gon' lie." He shrugged his shoulder a bit.

Jon sat up a bit. "So, you gon' reach out to Mani?"

University of West Alabama Campus, October 2003

The stale scent of sweat and liniment hung heavy in the air of the locker room. Josh sat slumped on a bench, still in his practice gear, breathing hard, his body sticky and tired. It hadn't been the best practice, not by a long shot. Lately, his mind kept drifting, replaying fragments of a past he couldn't shake.

"You good, Uce?" Jimmy, his twin, asked, dropping onto the bench beside him. His voice was quiet, picking up on Josh's energy without needing to ask.

Josh sighed, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "Nah, man. Just been thinking about Mani." He stared at the scuffed linoleum floor. "I miss her. And I hate how we left things." The words were a quiet admission, heavy with regret.

Jimmy was silent for a beat, picking at a loose thread on his uniform. "Why don't you just call her, then?"

Josh's head snapped up. He hadn't considered it, not really. Not after all this time. He thought it over, the idea taking root. He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, maybe I will."

After a quick, cold shower, Josh threw on some sweats. "I'm heading back to the dorm," he told Jimmy, who was still packing his bag. "Meet up with you later."

Back in the quiet of his dorm room, the lingering scent of pizza and textbooks did little to distract him. He grabbed his phone, his thumb hovering over the contact list. Finding her name, he took a deep breath and hesitantly dialed Amani's number before pressing the call button.

It rang a couple of times, each chime tightening a knot in his stomach. Then, an automated voice cut in, cold and impersonal: "The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service."

Confusion furrowed his brow. Disconnected? He hung up and immediately dialed again, then a third time, getting the same frustrating message. A wave of disbelief, quickly followed by anger, washed over him. He slammed the phone onto his desk, the sharp crack echoing in the small room. 

Josh kissed his teeth, shaking his head. "I tried years ago. she changed her number." Then, an idea sparked in his eyes. He turned to Jon. "Hey, you still got Tameka or Shawna's socials?"

Jon nodded. "Yeah, I got Shawna's IG. You want me to send her a message?"

Josh's face lit up. "Yeah, uce. Thanks."

Jon nodded, standing up. "Aight, Ima go see Trin before her match. I'll see you in a bit."

"Aight," Josh called after him, a renewed focus in his eyes. 

Hours later, the adrenaline of the main event tag match against The New Day, still hummed through Josh's veins as he walked out of the arena. Jon, Trinity, along with Sefa and Joe, beside him. The night air was cool, a welcome relief after the heat of the ring.

They quickly packed up the car making the short trip back to their hotel.

Amani stared at the financial report, her brow furrowed in concentration. The numbers swirled, a dizzying dance of profits and projections, yet her mind kept replaying fragments of the night before. She shook her head, forcing herself to focus. This was her turf, her meticulously built empire as the HR Director of Vanguard Tech. The familiar scent of freshly brewed coffee and the quiet hum of the office provided a welcome anchor, a total contrast to the emotional whirlwind of the reunion.

"Morning, Ms. Wilson," Mr. Vanguard's voice cut through her thoughts. He paused by her desk, a stack of folders in his hand. "I look forward to your Q3 presentation You're always sharp on those hiring numbers."

"Always, Mr. Vanguard," Amani replied, her voice smooth and professional. She gave him a confident smile, a practiced mask that rarely slipped. She'd spent the early morning refining the data, ensuring the employee retention rates were stellar and the diversity hiring goals showed solid progress.

Her day quickly filled with the big-picture demands of her role. She led a discussion about upcoming performance reviews, stressing the importance of constructive feedback, and then smoothly navigated a tricky conversation about a new pay structure. Every call, every interaction, required her full attention, her insights sharp and on point. She thrived in this environment, where logic and strategy ruled, leaving little room for the chaotic mess of her personal life.

After her last meeting, as she quickly reviewed an onboarding checklist for a new group of hires, she glanced at her phone. A message from Shawna popped up in their group chat. She opened it, seeing a screenshot of messages.

Besties 💕

Shay🤞🏾: 1 attachment

Shay🤞🏾: Jon reached out to me. Josh wants your IG but I told him I would ask you first.

Amani's heart immediately dropped. Fuck. She stared at the DM Jon had sent Shawna: "Yo Jey wanted me to ask you for Mani's IG." She read it over and over, each time her heart sinking deeper. She was pulled out of her thoughts when another message popped up.

Tammy💖: What you gon do Mani?

Shay🤞🏾: Just let me know.

She sat there at her desk, contemplating. 

Did she want him to message her? Was she ready to open that part of her life again? 

After what seemed like an eternity, she texted back.

Mani❤️: You can give him my IG

The girls reacted immediately, both sending heart emojis. Amani blew out a breath, placing her phone down. She forced her focus back on her work, but the simple act felt monumental.

After a full day, she finally arrived home. Kicking her shoes off by the door, she tossed her keys onto the foyer table. She walked upstairs to her room, throwing her clothes into the hamper before taking a quick shower.

Dressed for bed, she made her way back downstairs, reheating last night's leftovers. Taking the food out of the microwave, she settled onto her couch and turned on her show.

Halfway through, her phone buzzed. Checking it, she saw a few notifications from Instagram. 

jonathanfatu started following you.

uceyjucey started following you. 

uceyjucey wants to send you a message. 

Curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the message. 

uceyjucey: What's up Mani

uceyjucey: It was good seein' you last weekend. Hope we can catch up soon whenever I ain't on the road

Amani stared at the message, her carefully constructed walls trembling. The past wasn't just knocking; it was sending a direct message.

Amani's heart skipped a beat. She read the message over and over again, her fingers hovering over her phone screen. It felt surreal, he was reaching out. It took her a while, her thoughts a whirlwind of apprehension, but she finally composed a reply.

_AmaniW: It was good seeing you too, Maybe we can one day.

His response was almost instantaneous, as if he'd been waiting, phone in hand.

uceyjucey: I'd like that. I'll let you know next time I'm in town ma.

Amani left the message on read, her phone still clutched in her hand. She stared at the ceiling, a thousand thoughts and emotions swirling within her. She couldn't believe herself that she replied back. 

She clicked on his profile. Scrolling through his posts. All of his and Jon's accomplishments, pictures of them holding the tag titles. Group pictures of them with Joe and to her surprise their little brother Sefa.

A strange warmth bloomed in her chest. Happy to see that even though his football dreams didn't work, he still found something he loved to do. 

Amani kept scrolling through. Couldn't help but to stop and look at his many different posts that showed off his tribal tats. Shaking her head internally. 

He always talked about them damn tattoos. 

After a while, she locked her phone, tossing it to the side. The screen went dark, but the images of Josh and the messages still burned in her mind. Her meticulously organized day, which had provided such a clear boundary between her professional efficiency and her personal chaos, now felt blurred. She'd spent years building walls around her heart, focusing on logic and strategy, making sure no one could breach the defenses she'd erected after him.

She closed her eyes, a sigh escaping her lips. Amani pushed herself off the couch, turning the TV off. She dragged her weary body up the stairs. Sleep desperately called her name, but she knew it wouldn't be easy. Her mind was still replaying the echoes of a past she'd thought long buried, and the unsettling warmth of a future she hadn't dared to imagine. As she finally slipped under her covers, the quiet of her room couldn't quiet the storm brewing inside her head.

Josh grunted, pushing the barbell up, the cold steel heavy in his grip. Joe spotted him, his hands ready. Around them, the familiar clanking of weights and the low murmur of his brothers, Jimmy and Sefa, filled the training room. They were deep into their last set of bench presses when his phone buzzed, the sound almost lost beneath the clang of iron.

"Don't drop them weight uce" Jimmy called out from the squat rack.

Josh rolled his eyes, but a moment later, Siri's synthesized voice cut through his focus, direct into his AirPods. "New Message from Instagram, _AmaniW: It was good seeing you too. Maybe we can one day."

His muscles seized. He almost dropped the weight, the bar wobbling dangerously in his hands. "Woah, you good Jey?" Joe grunted, quickly grabbing the bar and reracking it. "What the hell was that?"

Josh ignored him, tearing off his AirPods, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Amani replied," he announced, the words coming out almost a breathless whisper. Relief, pure and potent, washed over him, quickly followed by a rush of exhilaration. She replied. Just a simple maybe, but it was more than he'd dared to hope for.

"For real?" Sefa chimed in, stepping closer. "how you feel bout that"

Josh looked at his phone, then at Jimmy, who was now leaning against the bench, watching him with a knowing smirk. He wasn't sure how to put it into words. "I don't know," Josh admitted, shaking his head slightly. "Relieved, I guess. And... happy as hell she replied." He started typing his response, a casual I'd like that. I'll let you know next time I'm in town, ma.

He stared at his phone, the message glowing. Maybe we can one day. The words echoed in his mind.

October 1999 - Escambia High School

He could still feel the nervous energy thrumming through him, standing by her locker after football practice. The air was cool, carrying the scent of fallen leaves and the distant, excited chatter of high schoolers. Their school was throwing an October Fest for the students, and he'd been planning this for days.

"So, uh," he'd started, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying to act casual. "They're doing that October Fest thing next Friday... wanna, you know, go with me?"

She'd blinked, her dark eyes wide, a blush creeping up her cheeks. He remembered her fiddling with the strap of her backpack, looking everywhere but at him. "With you?" she'd whispered, almost to herself. She seemed so flustered, so uncharacteristically shy. He'd thought for a second she was going to say no, his heart sinking. Then, she'd finally looked up, a small, nervous smile playing on her lips. "Okay, I'd like that."

That okay had felt like winning the lottery. Like he could take on the whole world.

Josh exhaled slowly, the memory fading. He pocketed his phone, the grin still tugging at his lips. Joe gave him a slight nod, a silent understanding passing between them. He grabbed the bar again, ready to finish out his set. His mood increased. On the outside he looked focused but on the inside he was excited.

Later, as they walked out of the training room, sweat-soaked and tired, Josh clapped Jimmy on the shoulder. "Hey, man, thanks again for reaching out to Shawna for me."

Jimmy just shrugged, a small smile on his face. "No problem, Uce. Just don't let her slip through your fingers this time."

Josh paused, looking at his brother, then nodded slowly. He'd waited long enough. He'd never stopped thinking about her, not really. That flicker of hope, was all he needed. He wanted to reconnect with the woman he'd cared for, dared even to say loved, so deeply. It wouldn't be easy, not with his schedule, but for Amani, he'd figure it out. He had to.

Ch.3 (coming soon...)

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[jupiteralexandra]

f*ck my mind - armin arlet x reader

a word from lex: i got a little hot writing this, i hope yall enjoy. also, yes, there will be smut in the next chapter i just love a good medium burn :p thank you for being here ily.

chapter warnings: 18+, very suggestive themes, intense makeout session ahead (with dryhumping cause its a lost art), not proof read per usual, reader is fem and black coded. excuse anything i missed!!

chapter 1 can be found here!

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

chapter 2 - close company

'hey siri, play make it to the morning by partynextdoor'

you — 11:34 AM [📍] here. don't get lost, arlert.

armin — 11:35 AM I can read a map. Unlike some people’s research proposals.

you — 11:36 AM bold to text that when you still owe me a thesis statement 😌 bring snacks. i have stuff, but you’re the guest; you shouldn’t come empty-handed.

armin — 11:37 AM That’s rich coming from someone whose last citation was a meme. Also, might be 10 min late. Don’t kill anyone.

you — 11:37 AM late? you?? do you need medical attention? should I call someone?

armin — 11:38 AM Ha ha. Keep the sarcasm warm for when I get there.

you — 11:39 AM 💀💀💀 i’ve had breakfast, coffee i have all the sarcasm you’d ever need ready for you.

armin — 11:40 AM We’ll see. And wear something comfortable. We’re working.

you — 11:40 AM bossy.

why wouldn’t i be comfortable in my own home? you always like giving orders or is that just for me?

armin — 11:41 AM Only for people who pretend they hate being told what to do. See you soon, [your name].

ꨄ︎⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙ꨄ︎

12:07 p.m.

you were pacing your apartment with a mug of aggressively strong coffee in one hand and a vague sense of regret in the other. 

why did you suggest your place? why give him the upper hand, knowing full well he’d spend the entire afternoon cataloguing your living space like he was annotating a primary text?

you glanced around.

plushies lined the back of the couch, your r&b playlist playing one of your favorite partynextdoor songs and neatly stacked volumes of manga were nestled next to your textbook pile on the coffee table. 

a few posters you forgot to swap out still decorated the walls; half academia-core, half chaotic anime fan.

feels like home.

you flopped onto the couch, legs crossed, sipping your coffee like you hadn’t already changed outfits twice. 

not because you cared what he thought. 

no. definitely not.

knock

you stood, fixed your expression into something neutral (but not too neutral), and opened the door.

armin stood there, leather satchel slung over one shoulder, dressed in a black crewneck and dark jeans like he hadn’t put any effort in and still managed to look unreasonably composed.

he clocked the plushies immediately.

of course he did.

his mouth twitched. 

“nice army you’ve got here.”

you tried to hide your giggle. (but ultimately failed)

“they’re well-behaved. unlike some people.”

he stepped in, brushing past you without hesitation, eyes scanning your space like he had every right to be there. 

he moved with the same quiet confidence he carried into class debates, like he already had the upper hand and was just waiting for you to realize it.

you shut the door behind him, heart beating a little too fast.

“shoes off,” you called, retreating to the kitchen. “house rules.”

“of course,” he said, toeing off his boots with infuriating grace. “wouldn’t want to disrespect your kingdom.”

you ignored that, motioning toward the coffee table. “set up there. i made espresso.”

he blinked, looking faintly impressed. “you make espresso?”

“i make war daily, arlert. espresso is child’s play.”

he laughed, soft and genuine, and you hated that it did something warm to your stomach. he dropped his bag beside the couch, opened it, and pulled out his annotated outline. 

already too organized, already color-coded.

you slid a mug toward him. 

“drink this. you’ll need it to survive me.”

he took a slow sip, eyes meeting yours over the rim. 

“i don’t plan on surviving you. i plan on winning.”

your mouth parted just slightly, but you recovered quickly, flopping onto the other side of the couch and grabbing your notebook.

“alright,” you said. “let’s work.”

ꨄ︎⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙ꨄ︎

three hours passed unexpectedly fast.

you argued. 

of course you did. 

you pulled at ideas and rearranged frameworks and challenged every word he chose until your pens were scattered, mugs were half-drunk, and the tension in the room had shifted into something quieter. 

he was leaned back on your couch now, arms behind his head, a plush shark tucked under one elbow like it had wandered into the battlefield by mistake.

you curled up at the opposite end, your toes just barely brushing his shin. 

neither of you moved.

“you know,” he said, watching the ceiling, “i thought you’d live somewhere messier.”

you scoffed. “oh? excuse you.”

“i just figured your brain is so chaotic, your apartment would reflect it.”

you looked around. 

“it does reflect me. organized chaos. and the plushies are security detail.”

he smirked. “the pomeranian with the eye patch seems particularly threatening.”

“that’s bakugo jr. show some respect.”

“My Hero Academia? thats a good one.”

you look at him visibly shocked, “you watch anime?”

“indeed i do”

“wow. i mean i know you’re a nerd and all but you don’t seem like the type.’ you say jokingly.

he laughed, really laughed, and the sound settled in your chest like warmth spreading under your ribs.

“there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

a beat passed.

then another.

and then…

“i used to want to live by the ocean,” armin said, voice low.

you blinked. “used to?”

“i still do,” he admitted. 

“i just… i haven’t said it out loud in a while. but yeah;  salt air, sand, boats, the sound of waves. it always felt like a kind of freedom.”

you stared at him, surprised by the softness in his voice.

“i didn’t know that,” you said quietly.

he looked over at you now, something unreadable in his eyes. “you don’t know a lot of things about me.”

you picked at a loose thread in the couch cushion. “well. we usually spend most of our time verbally assaulting each other in seminar, so. not much room for seaside dreams.”

his lips twitched. “true.”

you looked up, eyes meeting his. 

“you’d suit the ocean.”

that made him pause.

“what makes you think that?”

“because you act like you're so composed, but you’re constantly thinking. like you’re never still. the ocean’s like that too. looks calm, but can be viscous. always moving.”

He didn’t say anything for a second.

then..

 “...that’s surprisingly poetic.”

“shut up.”

he smiled, but the warmth lingered. “what about you?”

you blinked. 

“what about me?”

“what don’t I know?”

you hesitated.

you could lie. deflect. 

but something in the air had shifted; less sharp, more honest.

“i live here alone,” you said finally.

“off-campus. no roommates. no parents checking in every night. just… me.”

He nodded, quiet.

“i like it,” you added. 

“being in charge of my own space. paying my own bills. making a name for myself without anyone’s help. everyone thinks i’m overly cocky because i like attention, but..” you paused, realizing you were revealing more than planned.

“it’s not about that. i just don’t like being overlooked.”

he looked at you for a long moment.

“i don’t think anyone could overlook you, even if they tried.”

your throat felt tight.

you tried to recover. 

“flattery now? what, losing your edge?”

“just stating facts.”

“oh, so i am memorable?”

“you’re impossible to ignore,” he said, voice lower now, a little rough. “believe me. i’ve tried.”

the room felt warmer. 

your skin tingled in the silence as he slowly shifted closer, like the air itself was thick with intention. 

his knee nudged yours. 

subtle, deliberate.

you gave him a look. “getting bold, aren’t you?”

he raised an eyebrow. 

“just closing distance.”

you tilted your chin, stubborn. “that your excuse for invading my personal space?”

“you keep inviting me into it.”

you meant to roll your eyes. 

meant to lean back. 

instead, your breath hitched as he shifted even closer. your knees brushing now, the heat of him unmistakable.

“careful,” you warned, voice softer than intended, your bravado flickering. “i bite.”

his eyes dropped to your lips. “good.”

your mouth parted just slightly, your body giving itself away before your brain caught up.

he was close enough to kiss now.

and suddenly, you didn’t know where to look. your gaze flicked to his mouth, then to the curve of his jaw, then back to the floor like you could will yourself to be unaffected.

it didn’t work.

you were caught.

shy in the silence you helped build.

and he saw it.

“tell me to back off,” he said.

you didn’t.

he shifted, kneeling on the couch now, one hand braced against the backrest, the other grazing your thigh again.

light, teasing, claiming.

“this what you wanted?” he asked, voice like velvet over iron.

“you invite me here. poke at me. act like you hate it when i take control but melt the second i do.”

“i don’t melt,” you breathed, already trembling.

“no?” he leaned closer. “then why are you shaking?”

you opened your mouth to snap something back. 

something biting.

but all that came out was: “shut up and kiss me, armin.”

he grinned.

then he did.

his hand lifted slowly, cupping your jaw like he was testing the waters. thumb brushing your cheek, gaze locked on yours. 

it wasn’t cocky, not this time. it was cautious. like both of you knew you were teetering on the edge of something neither of you could undo.

the first kiss was tentative. a brush. then another. 

soft, shallow things that built with maddening slowness. but the hesitation didn’t last long.

each kiss grew deeper, bolder, like a match catching flame. 

armin’s mouth moved against yours with practiced patience, but his control was slipping and so was yours. 

you felt it in the way his tongue traced the seam of your lips, slow and deliberate, asking without words.

you parted them eagerly.

and then everything unraveled.

you met him with hunger, tongues tangling in a rhythm that felt too natural, too easy. you took turns exploring, tasting, sucking gently on his bottom lip, only to groan when he returned the favor with a nip that made your stomach tighten. 

the kiss deepened until it felt less like kissing and more like drowning in each other.

his breathing turned ragged. yours followed.

and then he moved.

without warning, armin’s hand slid from your jaw down to your throat, fingers wrapping around the sides with just enough pressure to make your head swim. 

It wasn’t painful, just…possessive. 

just enough to make your body jolt with heat. your breath caught, and your knees went weak.

you moaned into his mouth.

the sound shattered whatever restraint you had left.

climbing over the couch cushions, you straddled him, legs sliding on either side of his hips. his hands gripped you like he’d been waiting for this.

one still at your throat, the other splayed at your waist. you kissed him harder now, messier, needier. you moved your hips slowly at first, almost instinctively, grinding just enough to chase the high that had bloomed between your legs the second his lips touched yours.

armin groaned against your mouth, deep and guttural.

he bit down on your lip and you whimpered, grinding harder now, losing yourself in the haze of his hands, his mouth, his low, wrecked breathing.

you couldn’t stop. neither of you could.

his fingers dug into your waist. 

you moved faster. 

the air between you felt thick, like it could snap.

just as you felt that coil in your belly begin to unravel, his lips tore from yours, his head tipping back with a shaky exhale as he grabbed your hips and stilled them.

“okay,” he said, voice ragged, rough. “you have to get off. before you make me cum in my pants.”

you give him a breathless giggle. 

you blinked down at him, cheeks flushed, lips kiss-swollen, body still humming with tension.

he looked wrecked. like you’d won.

like this wasn’t even close to over.

he licked his lips, still close enough to kiss you again.

“you done testing me now?” he asked, voice a low rumble.

you grinned, slow and wicked. “For today.”

what the hell have you just gotten yourself into?

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈• fin (for now) •┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

end of chapter notes: BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWDDDD

lmao srsly tho i hope yall enjoyed reading this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it! chapter 3 coming soon! till next time babes :) likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated :*

~ lex

link to chapter 3!!

[triassictriserratops]

when i say "I think the mining accident that killed Katniss and Gale's fathers was intentional" i DON'T mean that it was a targeted bomb or explosion. In fact, I don't think it would have been that obvious. And i think that would have been the point. (and i do think that there's a reason suzanne mentioned haymitch's father and his own mining accident and the suspicious nature of it.) I think people were starting to meet in secret. Messages were being delivered. Whispers of rebellion in 12 and i think it got to the wrong set of eyes or the wrong set of ears. And i think a large majority of suspects were on Burdock's crew. So, you need to silence them, right? But how do you ALSO instill fear and paranoia? Prevent anyone else from stepping up and filling the space of rebellion? Plausible deniability.

So you send a crew of people that you suspect to be ringleaders for this local rebellion into sections of the mines that were already catalogued as "unsafe". You fuck with their tools, make the chain of communication just inconvenient enough. You amplify already unsafe work conditions and allow the inevitable to happen. And it, of course, happens. And everyone else involved in the rebellion wonders - "shit. Burdock's crew? Was...was it the capitol??? Do they know???? WHAT do they know? Do they know about ME? no..no...this was an accident...right? i'm fine. i'm fine. i just toe the line and i'm fine." (this would also play really well into the seemingly incongruous statements where Katniss tells us she thinks people give her good trades out of respect for her father, but also notes that nobody - not seam or merchant - checked in on her family after the accident.) because, in that scenario, you WOULDN'T step in. because if this WAS targeted on the part of the capitol, and you help the family of a suspected rebel, you've just made yourself look like a possible accomplice.

[scarredwoods]

I made this post on Twitter, so I'm going to make it here too cause I'm tired of the misinformation

FOR THE LAST TIME, MIYAMOTO USAGI IS NOT 40

The only time you can argue he's 40 is during the WhereWhen comics that set in an ALTERNATE timeline. If you're going to argue about leosagi in some iterations, then back it up with proof and sources.

STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION

No, there's no official age written anywhere. The only way to find out what his age is is by reading the comics. The comics give you a very vague timeline of events that you would need to piece together yourself if you want to know the age. But guess what, even Stan Sakai doesn't have an official age for him! During the CURRENT run, Stan has sated during a q&a interview that he views HIS OWN character to be around mid 20s to early 30s. But during the beginning of the run, he was around his very early 20s.

This is only comic Usagi, though. So don't apply this to other iterations like 97, 03, or 12.

In 03, they've already shown that they aged him down so that he could be closer to Leo. (And before you argue about how aging down a character is wrong, don't forget they aged April down to be a teenager in 12 so that she could be shipped with Donnie. Then they did the exact same thing in Mutant Mayhem, but with Leo. It's common. It happens. It's been done in other shows, too. Moving on.)

If his 2012 version is supposed to most closely resemble his comic version, then he would be in his EARLY 20s because he meets Jei early on in his comic series. But please treat this very loosely because even though this version is supposed to resemble Usagi the most, he's still far from him.

Those who know Usagi also know that he's not a strict, no fun guy.

You're gonna look at his stupid face and then turn around and tell me that he's the most strict and serious guy you've ever met?

Every iteration is gonna be different, so no information is going to be the same for each of them. So if you're going to argue about an iteration you don't even know about, don't say anything. If you don't know the source material, don't say shit. Back up your statement with proof. Don't just pull stuff out of your ass or repeat small posts you saw on the internet. And if you don't have time to research the source material, find someone who's already knows it and ask them.

And how do I know that the first person doesn't know what they're talking about? It's because during the video, they claimed that Yuichi and Miyamoto were the same person. They didn't know the difference between them and continued arguing that Leoichi was proship. Btw, the original video that they commented on was a Leoichi video, NOT a Leosagi video. This person was just overall incorrect.

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 12

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warning: Language Word Count: 8.5k Author’s Note: ...Hello 🙂 How has everyone been 🙂? Please dont look how long its been since I updated okay???? Lets focus on the fact that its chapter 12!!! Im so shook that its still going tbh but can i get a little commotion for still writing this? we really outchea!!! This story turned 3 years old a couple days ago lol I def should've been finished it already but hey, thats life! I want to thank everyone still invested and hope you love this new chapter! We have 2 chapters left!!!! Chapter 13 and an epilogue 🥲 so so bittersweet. but you guys have at least another year before its done lmaoo yall: thats not funny 😡 While rereading this story i realized something and I just want to mention, to anyone reading this fanfic, this is NOT a sign to get back with your ex!!!! ONLY if hes an exo member than you can consider it until then this is a work of FICTION!!! Pls pls dont be like Mel irl i beg 😫 Also is there anyone reading this named Melody? I thought about that too. Like you see thats the big nickname reveal and am like 'ok? thats just my name 🧍🏾‍♀️' lmfaoooo thats a funny thought! As always, thank you everyone! Replies, reblogs, and asks are greatly appreciated here! You know I LOOOOOVE yalls commentary, youre all so funny and it makes me so giddy when you tell me how the story made you feel 💕 Adore you all and hope you get to see bbh and kai this summer 😘

Being back in Seoul after everything that happened is different.

You’re different.

Yet, life doesn’t wait for you to adjust back into the routine you had before Jeju. You try your best to fall back into the life you had spent years perfectly curating, but find it frustratingly difficult to do so.

The hardest adjustment is Yerim’s new found absence. She’s become such a common fixture in your life, practically living with you, that not seeing her at all is a huge blow. You miss her laugh, her rants about her job and school, her bickering. She’s as much your little sister as she is Seulgi’s and it hurts not having access to her the way you once had. But you understand, so have been giving her the space she needs. That doesn’t stop you from constantly pestering Seulgi about her. Her response is always the same–Yerim needs more time. You have a feeling she’s keeping her distance because she doesn’t want to see Chanyeol, and you’ve told Suelgi to send the message that he is not in the picture, but whether she received the news or not, Yerim has yet to contact you in any way. 

Months pass by in a boring yet restless blur. The only day that really stands out is your birthday, but even with the little party Seulgi throws for you, and the facetime call you have with Sehun, it doesn’t hold any true significance. You distract yourself by keeping busy, throwing yourself into your work and Jongdae’s upcoming baby shower, which you volunteered to help decorate. Eunhee laughs every time you send her new ideas, claiming you’re more excited than she is. You chalk it up to this being your job so you take it very seriously, but the truth is that you are beyond excited for that day to come, because you’re eager to see a certain face again.

The truth is that, despite your attempt to keep him out of your thoughts and just focus on yourself and the life you have built, Chanyeol has never left your mind. You find yourself wanting to call him, wanting to update him on everything that he missed. He’s the first person you want to rant to whenever you’re having a rough day, yearning for his touch when you fall asleep. You want to hear his laugh and see that special soft smile that fills you with love whenever it graces your presence. You can’t seem to get over him this time, can’t shove his presence back into the depths of your heart that way you have been doing for so long. He tore that door down, making sure that he’ll never be forgotten no matter how desperately you try. It’s enough to have you coming to terms with what you want out of your relationship. 

You just hope when that day comes, that he feels the same way.

You gave in once.

Two months after the wedding, you get a memory from six years ago on your phone. You know it’s probably not the healthiest, but you refuse to get rid of any pictures or videos of the two of you. The memory is a video. You’re walking into a familiar dining room where Chanyeol sits alone, a paper birthday hat on his head. When he notices you, his face brightens, and he falls back in his chair in an invitation. You ask if he had a good birthday as you climb into his lap and he says it was perfect. You turn the camera so that it's now facing the both of you. Chanyeol kisses your temple, your cheekbone, then your cheek, and mumbles, ‘thank you, baby’. He then turns his head so that your cheeks are pressed together as you both look at the screen reflecting your image back at you, ‘I love you,’ you answered simply, as if that was enough. And it was. He holds you closer, nuzzling into you and the video ends. 

It reminds you that it’s Chanyeol’s birthday, but you can’t bring yourself to wish him a happy birthday. Firstly, you don’t have his phone number, and secondly, you’re no contact right now and aren’t technically supposed to speak to each other.

Still, not saying anything eats at you for a couple days and you hatch up a risky plan.

You know the odds are slim, but something in your spirit encourages you to try.

And that’s how you find yourself holding your breath as the other line of your phone rings.

“Oh?” You hear once the call is answered. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Baekhyun,” you greet in return, rolling your eyes at his sarcasm. 

“Darling.” You can hear the smirk curling his lips and know that he’s teasing you.

“What are you up to?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

“About to get lunch. I’d invite you, but it’s kind of a date.”

“Oh?” You ask, surprised he even answered if he’s entertaining someone.

Before you can question him, you hear exactly what you were hoping for.

“A date? I’ll humor you because I know how desperate you–”

Chanyeol.

He’s there with him, right on the other side of the line.

“Anyways!” Baekhyun interrupts, loudly drowning Chanyeol out. “What are you doing, Sweetie?”

“Darling? Sweetie?” Chanyeol questions. “Sounds like you’re speaking to your actual date. Maybe you should invite them out instead.”

“Nonsense. It’s your birthday lunch. But….” Baekhyun pauses for dramatic effect. “Maybe I should. It might make you jealous though.”

“Jealous of you annoying somebody else? Not very likely.”

“I’m not annoying, am I?” Baekhyun then drops the bomb by saying your name.

That seems to shut Chanyeol up.

“She says I’m not,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, despite you never answering his question. “What? Nothing to say now?”

Baekhyun chuckles smugly, but then he’s yelling at you.

“Yah!” He says your name again. “You haven’t asked me anything about my date! Aren’t you curious?”

“I shouldn’t intrude,” you finally speak.

“Please. Let me introduce you.”

“No, really, it’s okay!”

It’s too late. You hear the shuffling of the phone being moved around followed by silence.

Finally, Chanyeol clears his throat and says your name questioningly.

The relief you feel at hearing his voice is so intense it brings tears to your eyes.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

He gasps at the sound of his name leaving your lips, and when he speaks, it sounds as though he has yet to catch his breath. “Hi.”

“Oh, brother,” Baekhyun says.

“Shut up.” There’s some scuffling, and then Baekhyun yelping in pain.

“Is everything okay over there?” You ask.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “How have you been?”

You’re giddy, like you’re talking to your school crush for the first time. Which, in a way, you are.

“I’ve been….” You contemplate telling the truth before settling on, “adjusting.”

“Same here.”

“Well, since I have you,” you say lightly, pretending this wasn’t the whole reason you called. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” he says vehemently. “I think this may be my favorite gift.”

You can’t fight back the smile threatening to split your lips. “It’s not much.”

“It means more than you know.”

“If that’s the case, then I’m glad. Enjoy your date.”

“My date?” It takes him a moment to realize what you’re alluding to. Once he remembers, he snorts. “oh, that. Between you and me, I don’t think there will be a second one.”

“Aaaaand you’re done,” Baekhyun says.

“No, wait!”

Despite Chanyeol’s height, Baekhyun has no trouble snatching the phone back.

“This is what I get for being nice,” he mutters into the receiver.

“Aw, Baekhyun, I’m sure he appreciates the effort you’re putting in to make sure he has a good time.”

“For that, I’ll let you have a little treat.” He lowers his voice conspiring. “He hasn’t shut up about you since coming back.”

“Bro!” You hear a mortified Chanyeol in the background.

“Looks like we’re at our destination. It was great talking to you.”

“Likewise.” In a grateful tone you add. “Thank you.”

All the humor leaves Baekhyun’s voice as he responds. “Anything for you. I’m glad you called.”

The call ends and life goes on.

December comes and goes, only bringing the cold in its wake. Next thing you know it’s January.

You bring in the new year with a resolution to be more open to new experiences and to take more chances.

“I see you!” You say, excitement evident in your voice.

“You sure?”

“Can’t miss that big ol’ head of yours.”

“Um, have you seen yours? Okay, wait, I see you now.”

You hang up and run over to Sehun, who’s pace doesn’t change as he saunters towards you. Despite how aloof he appears, he drops everything he’s holding to catch you once you jump into his arms, his hold tight.

“You’re here! You’re here!” You cheer, jumping once you’re back on your feet. Sehun can’t help but laugh at your silly antics.

Movement catches your attention and you peek behind Sehun’s broad frame to see a handsome man slightly taller than you with big round warm eyes and thick eyebrows currently furrowed in confusion as he watches Sehun interact with you.

“You must be Do Kyungsoo.”

He locks eyes with you and a slight nervous smile pulls at his full lips as he dips his head in greeting. Unsatisfied, you break away from Sehun and yank the stranger into a hug, missing the way he glances at Sehun in a silent plea for help.

“I told you,” Sehun sighs disapprovingly as you pull away.

“It’s an honor.” You ignore Sehun’s quip. “I hope Sehun already told you that your payment for staying with me is dinner of the gourmet kind.”

“I didn’t think he was serious about that,” he answers, laughing awkwardly as he readjusts the thick frames on the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t joke about food.” 

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow and blinks owlishly at you.

You decide you like him.

With a dazzling smile, you grab Sehun’s hand. “Let’s go!”

You lead the two men out of the airport, helping them put their luggage in the trunk before peeling out into the city.

“God, it’s been forever since I’ve been in Seoul,” Sehun says as he takes in the frosty scenery flying past.

“What about you, Kyungsoo?” You ask, searching out his gaze through the rearview mirror.

“I went to school here,” he informs.

“That’s how I met him, remember?” Sehun says.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. You were in the culinary program at our college.”

“Graduated early because he’s a genius,” Sehun praises. You don’t miss the way Kyungsoo’s face grows pink, but he remains silently looking out the window.

It’s weird in a way, meeting a close friend of Sehun’s that you yourself aren’t close to. It’s a grim reminder of your growing distance and the passage of time. You know you don’t really have a right to feel the slight tinge of jealousy from hearing Sehun compliment his friend. You have Seulgi, and Sehun has never made a big deal about your friendship. You think it has more to do with the fact that you’re not as close anymore. It leaves your heart slightly aching. 

Sehun and Kyungsoo tell you about the flight as you bring them to your apartment where they will be staying for the weekend. Seulgi and you had to get creative, because you don’t have any spare rooms. It was decided the boys would take the rooms and you would share the sofa bed in the living room.

Seulgi’s home when you arrive, doing some last minute cleaning.

“You look pretty,” you point out when you spot her finishing wiping down a counter in your kitchen. She gives you a guilty lip glossed grin before her attention is given to your guests.

“Sehun!” She embraces her long time friend and then sets her attention to the newcomer. She points at him. “The chef?”

“That’s me,” Kyungsoo says, lifting a hand with a crooked grin that makes his already handsome face even more attractive, if that’s even possible.

Seulgi’s smile is wide as she shakes his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Sehun’s said so much.”

“All good things I hope.” 

“Sehun never says anything good about anyone,” Seulgi  points out.

“It’s a talent,” Sehun brags.

“Seulgi….” Kyungsoo says her name as their hands separate, testing it out as he racks his brain. “I believe Sehun has said something good about you before. That you make phenomenal art?”

She lights up at that. “He has?! Sehun!”

He sighs and throws an arm around your shoulders. Shrugging, he says, “I’m not a complete monster.”

“Should I show you your room?” You ask him. You take in the other two, noticing the way they seem to be watching each other. “Seulgi, why don’t you show Kyungsoo where he’ll be sleeping for the next couple days?”

“Oh, right!” She jumps at the sound of her name. Remembering herself, she leads the way, mouthing an ‘oh my god’ as she passes by. You giggle. Seulgi has been interested in Sehun’s chef friend since the first time she saw a picture of him on Sehun’s instagram. Kyungsoo isn’t aware, but this moment has been years in the making.

Now alone, you turn in Sehun’s grasp, wrapping an arm around his slender waist. “I knew this was going to happen. What are you going to do when they fall in love and he doesn’t want to go back to Busan?”

“Put Seulgi in the luggage. You’ll be moving in with Chanyeol soon anyways.”

“It hasn’t even been an hour yet and you’re already bringing him up?” You pull away and move you guys to your bedroom.

“Come on,” he sings as he plops onto your mattress like he owns the place. He puts his arms behind his head as he rests against the headboard and it hits you that he’s actually here. It takes everything not to start crying and running around the room in excitement. “Tomorrow is D-day, excuse me for being excited for you.”

Jongdae’s baby shower is tomorrow, and of course, Sehun is fully aware of the promise you made with Chanyeol in the gazebo. That day feels like it was both years ago and yesterday.

Sehun nudges your knee with his foot. “Stop playing it cool. I know you're excited too. You got that crazy look in your eyes.”

“What crazy look?” You ask as you sit at the edge of the bed beside his calves.

“Exactly what I said. You look like you’re up to no good.”

You huff a breath. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

“What if he decides he doesn’t want to get back together?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does?”

Sehun purses his lips, contemplating. “Then you respect his decision, put on a brave face, and then cry in my arms when the party’s over. Okay?”

You nod dejectedly.

“I take it you’ve decided you want a second chance?”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I forgive him. I….” You look at your best friend. “I love him, Sehun. I really do. I want to be with him.”

Sehun’s expression turns soft and he drags you over his frame, hugging you. “Aigoo, my baby is all grown up.”

You let out a watery laugh and allow yourself to bask in your emotions. You’ve used this time exactly how you were supposed to. You have been able to process your feelings and separate your past self from your present self, and the present you is just as in love with Chanyeol as you were back then.

That is what makes you so nervous. You’ve changed so much. What if you give it another shot, but you don’t fit the same way you once had? What if he can’t bring himself to love this new version of you?

You shove away your doubts. Now isn’t the time to wallow on hypotheticals. Your best friend is here, in your arms, and tomorrow you’re going to bask in another friend’s joy. You’ll worry about that other stuff if they become a reality.

Since you voluntarily took charge of planning this baby shower, you have to head out early to the venue to set up. Sehun decides to join you, leaving the other two to get ready together. The chemistry between them is obvious and you wonder how the weekend is going to go for them.

The baby shower is being held in a party room that has large doors that lead to a botanical garden. Being that it’s mid January, the vegetation is frozen over and unbroken snow covers the ground. It still holds a whimsical charm and anyone that dares to venture out will find beautiful ice sculptures. The inside is a small room, which is perfect for an intimate celebration.

You are the first to arrive, along with some of your crew. Not even the parents-to-be are present, which is exactly how you planned it because you want to surprise them. This is your baby gift. You want to bring the warmer vibes of the gardens, so you have pink, purple, and blue plants and flowers overflowing vases in every corner. Sage green clothes cover the tables. 

Sehun refuses to lift a finger to help, which is annoying but unsurprising. You bring in a large wicker chair and put it at the head of the room. It will serve as Eunhee’s throne. Since she’s so far along, you don’t want her moving too much if she can help it and the chair is very comfortable, if Sehun sitting in it practically the whole time without complaint is any indicator.

“Oh my god!” You hear nearly two hours later. Turning, you see Jongdae and Eunhee enter. The two take everything in, Eunhee with watery eyes. She’s the one who spoke. “It’s beautiful!”

“Absolutely perfect,” Jongdae agrees, shaking his head in awe as he scans the place. You give Eunhee a big hug. She’s someone who came into the picture post college, yet fit right in. There is no one else you’d rather have carry your friend’s child.

“I'm glad you like it,” you say as you lead her to her throne. She notices Sehun and beams, singing his name as he stands to embrace her.

“‘Like’ doesn’t do it justice. You killed it,” Jongdae praises as he hugs you. When you pull away, he finally spots Sehun. “And did you help, Sehun?”

“Of course,” Sehun scoffs. “This was all my idea.”

“The only ‘helping’ Sehun supplied was keeping Eunhee’s chair warm.” You roll your eyes as the boys dap each other up. “Which, by the way, you’re expected to be in most of the day. I don’t want you lifting a finger for nothing!”

“Not even to eat?” She asks, rubbing her swollen belly.

“Nope. That’s what Jongdae’s for.”

Jongdae–and Sehun, finally–help with the last finishing touches as you monitor everything and lead everyone where they need to go. 

It’s around two when people start showing up. Eunhee’s parents are the first to arrive. You’re already exhausted, sitting in a chair with your bare feet propped up on another, gobbling down some baby shower meatballs. Eunhee’s mother finds you and immediately asks what she can do to help, and you’re beyond thankful to give someone else the reins, even though everything is pretty much set up.

Jongdae’s cousin, Kim Minseok, is the next to arrive. He comes in carrying the cake that holds the baby’s gender inside, and is the sole person that already knows. You’ve met the older gentleman a few times before and he gives major big brother vibes. He’s the strong and silent type, never saying much, but when he does it’s either something incredibly profound, or something so extremely out of pocket you have to side eye Jongdae.

When Minseok comes in, he kisses your cheek in greeting and smiles so widely you’re left blushing and stuttering when he asks where you want him to put the cake. 

It’s a moment still until familiar guests start to show up. The party officially starting means you’re now allowed to enjoy it as merely a guest, even though that doesn’t stop you from checking things from time to time to make sure everything’s running smoothly. All the positive words about the venue don’t go amiss and you smile proudly at succeeding in making a beautiful shower for your friends.

Sehun, who left your side the moment Jongdae walked in, remembers you’re there and nudges you. “Let’s take some pictures before the line gets long.”

He leaves little room for you to argue, dragging you over to a balloon arch you both spent way too much time finding the right spot for. There’s a professional photographer there who gets some good shots of the two of you. When Sehun is satisfied with the amount of pictures taken, you leave the arch and your eyes carry over to the wicker chair Eunhee still sits upon. Her head is lifted nearly straight up to meet the eye of the tall man conversing with her. The height is very familiar and your heart skips a beat as you realize that Chanyeol has finally arrived.

Swiftly, you turn to the opposite side of the room, and you’re glad you do because you find Junmyeon and Nayeon awkwardly standing there.

“Myeon!” You gasp and race over to your friend. Sehun sucks his teeth, but follows after you, knowing what you’re doing but just as eager to see Junmyeon.

Junmyeon says your name in the same tone and holds his arms out wide for you to fall into. Unsurprisingly, this is the first time you’re seeing him since the wedding. He holds you tightly and you think that he gives Jongin a run for his money with how comforting he feels.

“What’s all this I hear about you having drama at my wedding?” He asks into your ear.

You wince as you pull back. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was on my best behavior.”

“Ah.” he nods in understanding. “So, it was all Chanyeol then?”

“Isn’t it always?” You ask innocently.

Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “I fear I missed out on a lot that weekend.”

“You had bigger things to worry about,” you assure, patting his shoulder because you can tell that he feels bad for not being there with everyone. Junmyeon is the father figure of the group and takes his role very seriously. Sometimes you forget he’s only a couple years older than you because he treats you more like a daughter than a friend at times. “Like marrying this lovely lady.”

You turn to Nayeon, reaching out to embrace her. Her smile is bright as she falls into your hug. You aren’t sure if it’s seeing her walk down the aisle or the solidification of her role in your life, but the hug feels like a new chapter in your relationship. 

“It’s good to see you,” she says, and it sounds sincere.

Separating, your smile matches hers. “You too. How was the honeymoon?”

Her smile turns shy. “Too short.”

“Oh, I bet! I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but you were absolutely stunning on your wedding day.”

“Thank you.” She grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.

Junmyeon calls your name, gaining your attention. He takes in your interaction with unabashed pleasure. It has been no secret that you’ve had a hard time cracking his wife’s shell. “Sehun tells me you set this place up?”

“And did.”

“You should do mine next.”

You blink. “Will it be soon?”

Turning to Nayeon, you raise a questioning brow. She’s quick to shake her head. 

“No,” Junmyeon verbally answers. “But you know how the saying goes. First comes love, then comes marriage….”

“Then comes a very expensive baby shower, because I don’t work for free.”

“You told me this was a gift.” You glare at Seulgi, who joins your growing circle with Kyungsoo in tow.

“Yeah, but Jongdae isn’t a millionaire.”

Junmyeon frowns. “I’m not one either.”

“But, you will be. So, I will be overcharging.” You shrug.

“Everyone,” Sehun, who is bent at a weird angle so that he can rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Myeon has an arm thrown over Sehun’s neck, holding him close. Sehun is Junmyeon’s overgrown baby and it’s painfully obvious whenever they’re together. Sehun gestures next to him. “This is my good friend and business partner, Do Kyungsoo.”

It’s so strange how easily Kyungsoo seems to fit in with your group. He gives that half grin that you’re starting to find endearing and bows his head slightly in greeting. His cheeks grow pink at the attention Sehun throws onto him.

You lock eyes with Seulgi and ask her a telepathic question.

Her smile is soft. “I’m behaving.”

“Why?” You nudge her shoulder and she returns the gesture.

“So, this is where everyone’s hiding!” You hear Baekhyun’s unmistakable voice and then he’s popping up between Sehun and Kyungsoo.

You turn to give your attention to your loud friend, but end up locking eyes with someone else.

Chanyeol is standing directly across from you in the circle your friend’s have created. For a moment, you’re back in Jeju, at the table seeing him for the first time in years.

You have been anticipating this moment for weeks. You’ve pictured it numerous times, played out different scenarios on how you would respond to him. The skip of your heart, the small gasp that leaves you, the duling of your senses are all expected. What is surprising to you is a relief and longing so strong it nearly carries you across the space separating you both.

And he’s staring back at you with this content look in his eyes. None of the relief or longing currently rushing through your veins are reflected back at you, and your heart sinks as nerves take over.

Chanyeol appears…calm. Friendly. It’s as if Jeju never happened, as if he hadn’t desperately begged you to take him back. 

As if he moved on.

You drop your graze, ears burning in embarrassment for being so excited. You can already taste rejection on your tongue, and mentally curse yourself for believing for one moment that Chanyeol meant it when he said he would always want you.

You can’t resist taking a second peek to take in his form, seeing how he must have spent these last few months in the gym. His arms and shoulders are noticeably bigger, the cozy sweater he wears stretches over the new muscle tantalizingly. He must have dyed his hair black at some point and it washed out to a darker brown closer to his natural shade, instead of the sun bleached brown he was rocking in Jeju.

A shoulder bumps you and you lift your head to see Jongin with a teasing grin on his face. It drops the moment he sees your expression, and he says your name, concerned, drawing the attention of some others.

“I’m sorry. I have to do something,” you say, quickly leaving to collect yourself before anyone can question you. 

You don’t get far before Minseok stops you. He rests his hands on your shoulders, holding you far enough to intently study your face.

“Sir?” You say, wondering what he’s doing.

He tilts his head. “Only tears of joy today.”

You purse your lips. How does he know?

He pats your head. “Eunhee’s mom wants us to prepare the games. Come on.”

You sigh but follow Minseok to set up the games. A few of your friends partake in them. You forgot just how damn competitive Chanyeol is. He wins all four. One requires teams and you’ve never been more embarrassed by your friends in your life.

When the games are done, Eunhee starts opening gifts. You take this time to sit in a little corner alone, taking the party in and giving yourself a moment to congratulate yourself on a successful party. It’s beautiful and everything is moving smoothly. After the presents, the couple will cut the cake to reveal the gender, and then the party will wrap up. You wonder where your talk with Chanyeol will fit in. You don’t want to ruin this day for yourself, so maybe once it’s over will be best? The suspense is killing you though, you’re not really sure if you can last much longer. You’ve caught Chanyeol’s eye a few times since leaving the circle, and each time he’s given you a small smile or nod before going back to whatever he was doing. Nothing long enough to gain any more insight on his state of mind. Maybe he’s nervous? Maybe he’s healed? Maybe he’s dreading having to let you down easy?

Your brief moment of solitude is disturbed when Baekhyun slides into the seat beside you. 

“There you are,” he says, relief evident in his voice. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You sink into your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. “I haven’t been hiding, Baekhyun.”

He frowns at your tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answer too quickly, too sharply. You exhale and start again. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About the party?” he pushes, and you know he knows why, he’s just being careful on how to bring it up. “Or… something else?”

You lift an eyebrow at him. “You know the answer to that.”

Baekhyun scoots closer to you. “You have no reason to be nervous. Chanyeol’s going to meet you where you stand, wherever that is.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. You catch the man of the hour hand Jongdae a present. The father-to-be narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. It’s a very cute interaction and it makes your heart flutter despite everything.

Baekhyun tilts his head in confusion, resembling a puppy. “Yeah? Do you not remember anything that happened in Jeju? it was never Chanyeol’s feelings that were ever in question. Just yours.”

A smug grin stretches his lips. “But you figured yours out, didn’t you? I remember when you just so happened to call me around Chanyeol’s birthday. Y’know that was quite the little coincidence.” His smile grows, showing his perfect teeth. “You wanted to talk to him.”

“Stop.”

He pokes your side. “Admit it! You want to get back with Chanyeol and you’re nervous because you believe there might be a chance he actually rejects you.”

“Ew. It sounds so…cringey when you say it out loud.”

“Is that you admitting that you’re still in love with him?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, okay? I am! I…I still love Chanyeol, and I’m ready to give us another try. Happy?”

He pulls you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side. “Beyond! I’ve been waiting for this moment for years! I’m so happy for you!”

“We’re not back together yet, Baekhyun.”

“Yet,” he points out, and that for some reason, calms your nerves, and you relax against him.

A deep voice clearing catches your attention, causing you to grow rigid in Baekhyun’s hold. Slowly, you separate from Baekhyun and lift your head to see Chanyeol hovering over you both.

He gives Baekhyun a stern look, and the shorter man snorts before lifting his hands in surrender.

Chanyeol faces you, but he can’t quite meet your eye as he asks, “have you seen the ice sculptures yet?”

This is the moment. Chanyeol is inviting you to have your talk. 

You shake your head. “I actually haven’t. Do… you want to see them?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nod enthusiastically and hear Baekhyun giggle but ignore it. “Okay. Yeah. Just, uh, let me get my coat.”

You don’t know if it’s guidance or reassurance you seek that has you turning to Baekhyun nervously. He supplies both by tilting his head in Chanyeol’s direction encouragingly. Stiffly, you get to your feet  and lead the way to the coat stand. Chanyeol takes your coat from you, holding it out to help you put your sleeves in.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he shrugs on his own.

He gives you a derpy grin. “My pleasure.”

All bundled up, you head out to the gardens. Only a few footprints stamp out the snow, showing how little people have dared to step outside. You don’t blame the others, it’s freezing. Your face goes numb almost instantly, but it’s still a sight to see. All the bushes have frozen over, and arches that appear as ice  line the trail. The setting sun and multicolored fairy lights scattered around add a sense of whimsy, making it feel like you’ve stepped into a parallel universe where fairies live.

“Boy or girl?” Chanyeol randomly asks as you both casually walk the path.

“Huh?”

“The baby,” he clarifies. “Do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” you decide. “Jongdae is such a girl dad.”

“You’re right. He totally is.”

“Good job back there,” you say, nudging your thumb over your shoulder where the party continues without you. “I’m sure all of Eunhee’s family are terrified of you.”

He chuckles at that and it’s music to your ears. “I do tend to get carried away.”

“I’ve never seen someone so serious about changing a diaper.”

“And I did it in ten seconds! That’s pretty impressive, you gotta admit.”

You give a noncommittal hum. “Fatherhood will be easy for you then.”

“You think?” He asks, eyes absolutely sparkling at the idea. 

“I do.”

“Oh, well… I think you’d make an amazing mother.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised. You’ve never really given motherhood much thought. It’s something so out of reach that you never entertain it. You did once, back when you wore your engagement ring. Chanyeol and you had discussed parenthood a few times. At the time, you’d both agreed you were way too young to think about starting a family, but now you’re in your late twenties, so you guess it’s something you should consider more.

“You’re a caretaker,” he continues. “Take today for example, I bet you were just supposed to decorate, right?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly.

“Yet you ended up putting the whole thing together. You take care of the people you care about. You always have.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you admit.

He shrugs. “I’m just stating a fact.”

You come across your first sculpture. It’s an impressive six-foot ice dragon. You both stop to take it in.

“It’s impressive,” you remark.

Chanyeol nods. “I bet it took hours to sculpt.”

“Kinda sad it’s going to melt. Feels almost like a waste.”

“That’s the tragedy of art, but there’s beauty even in that.”

You’re quiet for a bit.

“I started going to a new cafe,” is what comes out of his mouth next. His attention never leaves the dragon, not even when your head snaps over to him in shock.

You know what he’s trying to say, that he no longer sees Yerim. His admission knocks the wind out of you, but you’re able to collect  yourself. “I’m sure the old one misses you.”

“Nah,” he’s quick to dismiss. “Though I hear I leave quite the impression.”

You click your tongue at that, which garners a small laugh from him, seeing humor in your reaction. Needing to change the subject, you give him a once over, taking in his reddening cheeks, the paleness of his skin contrasting beautifully with the darkness of his eyes. He’d thrown on a beanie to keep his ears warm, and despite them being covered, he still resembles a freakishly giant elf. Speaking of giant, his new mass overwhelms you. You can definitely notice the difference in his size compared to a few months ago.

“You’ve been working out,” you say.

He glances down at you, looking rather pleased. “You noticed?”

“How could I not? You’re towering over me.”

The tip of his tongue catches between his teeth. He likes that phrase, and you’re reminded that he has a size kink. You’re not that much shorter than him (this may be denial speaking) but being even an inch smaller is enough to get him going.

“It’s a newly acquired hobby I picked up after returning from Jeju,” he explains.

“I see….” And you do. It was something to fill the time, something to distract himself from the fact that you were once again not in his life, and wouldn’t be for a while.

The two of you leave the dragon and continue to the next sculpture. Chanyeol senses your understanding and presses, “so, have you gotten any ‘hobbies’ since I last saw you?”

You lift your arms out like a shrug and gesture around you. “This.”

He takes in the winter wonderland. “Then you spent it wisely.”

“It kept me busy for sure, but I’ll admit it wasn’t enough to distract me completely.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding. “It’s been difficult… going back to how things were before.”

A sharp laugh leaves your throat before you can stop it. His words feel like an understatement.

The next sculpture is an eight foot replica of the Eiffel Tower.

“I was foolish enough to believe that I could continue living the way I had been before the trip,” you admit, taking in all the little details of the ice. “But I outgrew that life the moment I landed on that stupid island.”

You can feel Chanyeol studying you, as if you are the one carved from ice. You wonder if he sees the tragedy of your design, that you’ve been melting, and if he still finds it as beautiful.

“Jeju changed us,” Chanyeol agrees. “How has it changed you?”

You meet his gaze, yours steady and unwavering. “It made me realize where I wanted you in my life.”

Chanyeol takes you in, gulps, and turns abruptly. You gape at his retreating back for a moment before jogging after him. His long legs close the distance to the next sculpture in record time. There are only two left and this one is of a beautiful woman, looking down at her plump belly that she cradles lovingly. You swear you can see Eunhee’s features etched into the clear face.

Chanyeol’s squinting up at the face, most likely noticing the same thing  and contemplating whether it is your friend or not.

“You ran,” you accuse once you’re standing beside him, out of breath.

His features smooth over, becoming expressionless. “You scared me.”

“That’s funny,.” He turns to you questioningly. “That’s how I felt when I saw you earlier.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“You looked at me like….” You lick your drying lips. “Like you had moved on.”

“That’s what you saw?” he asks skeptically.

You give your attention back to the Eunhee sculpture. “Did I misread you?”

“Immensely,” he says, voice flat and intense. When you work up the courage to look at him again, you see a fire has built inside him that the cold tried to snuff out, but it burns through, warming you in turn.

“Oh,” is really all you can say under his scrutinizing glare.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, still intense. “And for running. What were you going to say? Where do you want me now?”

“I….” You take a deep centering breath and tell him the truth. “I want you right where you are now. Beside me.”

A shocked laugh leaves him in a puff of condensation that bellows around you, stinging your cheeks. It feels like a caress, like contact, and it  makes you confident enough to proceed with your confession. “I've missed you so much, Chanyeol. Not just since coming back from jeju, but since calling off the wedding all those years ago. I’ve carried that suffering with me everyday, pretending I was fine, that I had moved on. But, after returning from the island, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was too heavy a weight. All I’ve wanted since is to see your face, to hear your voice, to…to be with you. Not the college boy that I fell in love with, but the man that you’ve become. I want to rediscover you, I want to learn your new habits and meet your new friends. I want to be a part of your life again…. I want to be with you, Park Chanyeol.”

You can feel your throat constricting, and tears start to blur the vision of the man you love taking in every word you say as if they are bible. You inhale sharply, it sounds more like a gasp, as you try to control your emotions. Clearing your throat, you voice your doubt. “That being said, if you’ve decided that you don’t feel the same way, and just want your closure to finally move on, I respect that. This isn’t only about what I want. You have a say in this relationship too. So… where do you want me?”

The wobble in your voice seems to echo off the ice surrounding you in the silence that follows as Chanyeol hesitates to answer. At least it feels like hesitation. Is he debating how to let you down gently? Or is he still trying to process your revelation?

Finally, after what feels like hours, he says, “there’s one more sculpture.”

You follow Chanyeol wordlessly, your heart plummeting from his lack of response. The last sculpture is ironic in a way, depending on how this conversation goes. It’s two swans, their heads pressed together and their necks curving into the shape of a heart. 

Chanyeol is grinning as he takes it in. “I think this one might be my favorite.”

“It does have a certain charm to it,” you say sullenly. 

Chanyeol’s smile stretches, but he doesn’t say anything. You both quietly take in the birds, you wait patiently for Chanyeol to answer your question. 

“The gym isn’t the only thing that has been keeping me busy these past months,” Chanyeol shares. “When I came back, I found new inspiration, and have been writing music nonstop.” He chuckles. “My company has been very happy about that.”

“That’s good to hear.” you say, and you mean it. You know how much music means to the man before you, he bleeds chords and rhythms. Being able to make money doing what he loves is an honor not many people get to have. You’re so very proud of him for being able to have others hear his talent.

“Yeah. I took your advice. I truly thought about what you mean to me. I wrote those feelings down in songs and worked through the pain, the confusion, the hurt, and the hope. When I showed my music to my company, they asked me what had changed, and I told them the truth.” He shifts to face you head on and reaches out to grab your hand. “That I found my muse.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he continues. “I guess it’s more like rediscovered my muse, because it’s the same one as always. All of my music is about you. Only you. You ask where I want you in my life? The answer is simple. I want you everywhere. You’ve always been everywhere. You’re the melody of my life.”

You blink back the new flood of tears bombarding your eyes, overwhelmed by his words. 

He is watching you tenderly, and you swear you see his eyes as shiny as yours. The hand not holding yours cups the side of your face and you shiver from the icy bite, but it thaws so quickly you end up leaning into it. “I want to be with you too. It will always be you, Mel.”

The tears finally fall, and Chanyeol is there to catch them, to catch you. You both let out airy laughs, relief and joy bubbling in your throats as the situation dawns on you. 

“We’re really going to do this?” You ask, in shock. “You and me? We’re going to try again?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol confirms, resolute. “And we’re going to get it right this time. I’m not letting you go again. I don’t care what excuse you try next time.”

You shake your head. “You won’t have to worry about a next time.”

You pull back slightly and take out your phone, handing it to him. “Can I have your number?”

He grabs the device from you. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

You scowl. “Absolutely not! You’ll have to do the asking, sorry.”

“I think I can manage that,” he says as he types away. He gives the phone back, fingers brushing yours when you retrieve it. 

You stare at one another, only one thing in both of your minds. What did Chanyeol say last time? Seal it with a kiss? Well, that’s what you want to do now, you want to kiss him so bad your body shakes in yearning. Chanyeol gathers as much, his head slowly lowering to grant your wish, and you wonder briefly if you’re making that face again. His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your head back to lift your lips higher for him to reach.

Cheering shatters the moment, bringing you both back to the frozen yard of your friends’ baby shower.

You gasp. “The cake!”

You both rush back inside, making it in just in time to see Jongdae and Eunhee at the table, frosting and tears on their faces as they celebrate. You see a piece has been cut out of the cake, revealing the color inside.

It’s pink. 

“You’ve been staring at your phone all day,” Sehun points out. 

You immediately drop the block of technology. Groaning, your head falls into your hands. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jongdae’s baby shower ended, and you have yet to message Chanyeol. You’re overthinking, naturally. Even though Chanyeol made it obvious that he wanted to try again, there is that inkling of doubt that keeps you from initiating conversation. You regret asking for his number. You should have given him yours, put the pressure on him instead. He had the chance to text himself, but you were dismayed when you realized he hadn’t. He was again, putting the ball in your court, going at your speed. Now why would he do that when he knew you? You assume this is a test, and you’re failing miserably. 

“Stop torturing yourself and text him already.”

You shift some fingers enough to glare at your best friend that sits  across from you on your pale wooden table. He blinks at you, the poster child of unbothered.

Sighing, you straighten in your seat. “I’m spending time with you right now. Everything else can come later.”

“Uh-huh. Lucky for you, I’m used to you using me as an excuse.”

You gasp dramatically. “I’ve done no such thing!”

He grins and reaches over to hold your hand. Sehun and Kyungsoo are leaving in a couple hours. You’re waiting for the other pair. Seulgi’s helping Kyungsoo get his stuff together, but they disappeared a while ago.

“I told you it was going to work out,” Sehun murmurs.

You smile sweetly. “I’m not going to say you were right, just so you know.”

He pouts at that. “Either way, I know you believe it. Look, you’re back with Chanyeol. Isn’t that crazy?”

“So crazy.” You shake your head. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Then don’t sabotage yourself again,” he says in that casual way he does. “Text him. Call him. Either way, talk to him. Let him know how much you want this. You have to if you want it to work this time. Communication and all that.”

You swallow thickly, fear coating your throat. “Right. Communication.”

Sehun stands and walks around the table to drag you to your feet. He pulls you into a hug, kissing the crown of your head. “You got this. Next time I see you, you’re going to be hand-in-hand with Chanyeol.”

You return his hug tightly, missing him already. 

“Now,” he starts. “let's check on those two. We have to leave soon.”

He drags you to Seulgi’s door, opening it without knocking and you deeply regret it when you notice the pair in various states of undress, hungrily making out.

“Oh!” You’re not sure who said it. Maybe you, maybe Seulgi. But the new couple scramble to make it look like they weren’t just eating each other’s faces.

Sehun guffaws and you cover your fallen jaw.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun calls between chortles. “I didn’t know you had it in you, man!”

“Fuck off,” Kyungsoo bites, face the color of a tomato as he looks anywhere but where a human stands.

“We have to leave in ten,” you say slowly, fighting a smile as you watch Seulgi attempt to pack, back facing you.

“We’ll be out there,” Kyungsoo confirms.

“Will you?” Sehun goads. “Or are you just going to finish what you started the minute we walk away?”

“Ten minutes, got it!” Seulgi shoves you both out of her room, slamming the door in your face. 

Sehun and you lock eyes and then burst out laughing.

“I told you!” You said when you catch your breath.

“Now you really have to text Chanyeol,” he says. “You’ll need a new roommate soon.”

An hour later, you’re alone in your room, once again staring at your phone. At the contact that merely says ‘Park Chanyeol’.

You remember the last moment you had with him. When the baby shower was settling and people were starting to leave. All of you were huddled together and Jongdae and Eunhee made you all take some photos, claiming how this was the first time in years that everyone actually was present like this. 

You remember how you all huddled together, how Kyungsoo tried to slink away, but Sehun grabbed his collar, holding him hostage next to Jongin who started chatting his ear off as though he’s known him for years. Minseok was also there, having what appeared to be a very serious conversation with Baekhyun.

You felt a body press against your back, and glanced behind you  to see Chanyeol shyly looking down at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked, voice gentle, fragile.

You nodded, voice caught in your throat. The photographer set her camera up, and someone in the back of the group stumbled, causing a bunch of you to lurch forward. Chanyeol steadied you with a hand on your hip, and kept it there once you were stable again. You made no move to remove it, and your silent approval had him relaxing against you. You held your breath, heart racing as you posed for the photos. The happiness you felt in the moment you were sure was perfectly captured. 

Of course, the others noticed, but surprisingly didn’t mention anything. Only giving you both approving or knowing looks.

You swear you can still feel his body against yours, his large hand holding you close. He wants this, you remind yourself. He never stopped loving you, so stop being a little bitch and text him! Go get your man!!!

Encouraged, you don’t think and send a message. it’s a simple ‘hey, it’s me’, but you might as well have thrown your heart at him.

You stare at the bright screen. Watch as those cursed bubbles start bouncing as Chanyeol types a response to your message. Then go away. Then come back. Then disappear. Then–

Chanyeol: Took you long enough, Mel

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taglist @blue-rainydays, @julciaqwerty, @ohsehunsgurl, @byunparklimchoi, @kawaii--mommy, @notyuji, @hisungovenaocare, @theawesomehero7714, @emikowrites, @carefully325 @livebylivsstuff

[daisukoth]

So you know how i was saying that I'm hoping susie gets her own set of horrors?

Well, so far she has:

1) watched ralsei have an existental crisis and how she should stop caring about him and the other darkners

2) was having a heartfelt convo with tenna before the knight showed up and tenna got ripped to shreds

3) nearly got the snot beaten out of her by the knight

4) had to deal with her crush's abusive mother and not only likely triggering her own trauma but also be unable to help her crush

5) we find out she wasnt allowed to learn how to play an instrument

6) we find out she knows how to clean up blood?????????????????

7) felt bad about her ability to heal for like, half a chapter

8) her best friend is part of a conspiracy and is working against her (I know kris probably means no harm but like that still sucks, they clearly care about her and their friendship is really cute but they are clearly working against her and intentionally keeping that fact in the dark)

9) find the remains of a dead person, a dead person she was just talking with earlier and bonded with

10) gets told to pass a note from him to his son from beyond the grave

11) said old dead guy then tries to beat her up but for real because she tried to bring him from the dead a second time and he came back wrong (SERIOUSLY THAT WAS FUCKED MY POOR GIRL)

12) tries to heal the old man, then fcuking sees WHAT LOOKS LIKE HIS SKELETAL ANIMATED REMAINS

13) WATCHES RALSEI DISINTEGRATE THOSE REMAINS

14) Watch ralsei have another breakdown

15) something about the prophecy is fucked and shes GOING to find out even tho ralsei doesnt want her to and not even tho she doesnt want to anymore (my prediction is that shes not the monster from the prophecy, considering she looks nothing like the picture and we had a whole scene where susie talks about how she has never been picked for something before, there is a reason she can keep going "off script" she's not even part of it)

16) the knight beats her abd her friends up again! While theyre trying to make it up to the knight

17) gets laughed at by the knight

18) WITNESSES A COSMIC GOD BEYOND HER COMPREHENSION AND HAD TO FIGHT IT

19) nearly dies for real multiple times

20) OH BTW POINT 15? I WROTE THAT BEFORE GETTING TO THE END. She still gets flashbanged by that infohazard despite Ralsei's attempts. She acts like she isnt affected by it but the fact it fucked with her bad enought that she smashed it with her own hand rather than with her axe? My girl got a taste of forbidden knowledge and its fucking with her BAD (enough for her to smear the blond on ralsei's face and not even realise, dear lord, these kids are giving the vibes of a doomed sburbs session)

21) begins to hear the song from the sea the infohazard is DEFINETLY getting to her

22) has to witness sans and toriel doing... that (what? That counts as a horror! )

23) is so fucked from all that she decides to go to... wherever she lives despite how we have SEEN how she prefers to stay at kris's house

24) despite hwo kris obviously wants to follow her, because whatever conspiracy they are involved with they cant, so she doesnt even get to have the comfort of kris joining her as she goes back to wherever she lives

25) she has to go to her shitty "home" that she doesnt even refer to as home in the rain, shes gonna get soaked and cold

...

At least susie got to fight with gerson (the real one) one more time?

Man, i cant believe that i was worried that susie wouldnt get much focus

Anyway I BETTER see everyone love and appriaciate susie now, as I continue to do so

I am intrested in the weird route but i gotta marianate over susie horrors before i can digest white girl horrors i mean noelle horrors (not to be mean to noelle but you know... Love her a lot and im glad she and susie got to have a cute hang out together but I'm glad susie got a lot of time in the spotlight)

(Also noelle is so fucking rich, God. Enough noelle is intimated by susie fics I need more susie gets intimidated by noelle's fucking house fics. I remember when I was little visiting my crush's house for her birthday party and realising that she is a lot richer than I thought, that's shit is scary. Really efficient at making you feel out of place. Especially if you're susie and you get direct confirmation from your crush's mom that you're not welcome)

God susie has so many sad, defeated, stressed out, pained expressions these two chapters

This is like when I saw Battler's crying sprite in umineko and went "damn okay i guess i feel for him no" except im already attached to susie because shes susie so this hurts 10000000000000x more

Also she says dunked on as she jumps into the titans face cavity with kris, I love her

I understand why toby was so exausted from keeping susie from the world

ALSO WDYM TOBY? WDYM CHAPTER 5 IS COMING IN 2026??? I NEED TIME TO PROCESS

HELL FUCK YES. SUSIE FANS ATE SO GOOD THIS CHAPTER!! A REAL SMORGASBORD!!!

I cant believe I almost lost faith in that dog.... I knew Toby was gonna deliver in the actual game!!!! Susie is fr becoming the protagonist of the game atp.. And its completely deserved. MY GOAT! MY KING!!

edit: Yeah im also taking a long break before checking in the weird route. The one thing I saw disturbed me so bad I felt sick and needed a break. I am definitely not playing this myself. >(Also noelle is so fucking rich, God. Enough noelle is intimated by susie fics I need more susie gets intimidated by noelle's fucking house fics. I remember when I was little visiting my crush's house for her birthday party and realising that she is a lot richer than I thought, that's shit is scary. Really efficient at making you feel out of place. Especially if you're susie and you get direct confirmation from your crush's mom that you're not welcome) THIS IS SO REAL! nobody explores enough the class difference here, its very interesting to me. Like, Susie talking about how she needed to steal the game from lost and found to play, while Noelle owns so many of the games... And Noelle offering the game to her, and asking if she wants to do all the stuff she cant afford with her.. They're cute..

>This is like when I saw Battler's crying sprite in umineko and went "damn okay i guess i feel for him no" except im already attached to susie because shes susie so this hurts 10000000000000x more LOL SAME

>I understand why toby was so exausted from keeping susie from the world FMKALSMGLAGKA YEAH. I WAS TIRED OF WAITING, BUT I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW TOBY FELT, NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO FORESHADOW ANYTHING IN THE WEB EVENTS