#like I remember being in high school and my ex best friend going hey there’s this show on adult swim about a metal band | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rrxnjun · 1 year ago

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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–”

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?”

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

��I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed?

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

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jazminrhode1 · 1 year ago

Text

What Went Wrong? Chris Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: Chris calls you on a dare to ask what went wrong.

Words: 763 words

“Hey, y/n” he said when you answered the phone. Chris was filming a video with his brothers and was dared to give you a call.

You hadn’t spoken to him since you broke up. No matter how much you wanted to call him, you never did.

“I got dared to call an ex and ask what went wrong…” he explained. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips. You could hear in his voice that he was a little uncomfortable.

“What went wrong?” you asked. “Basically, why did your relationship end,” Nick clarified.

You hadn’t thought about it in a while. No matter how amicable the split was, you loved him and you never really quite came to terms with it being over between you two.

“You don’t have to…” Chris said. You felt the sincerity in his voice.

“No, it’s ok,” you replied, thinking about what to say.

“I don’t think anything necessarily went wrong,” you began, “all good things come to an end.”

Chris was nodding on the other end of the phone. He didn’t realize how much he missed you until this very moment. Hearing your voice was bringing back so many memories for him and he felt a little overwhelmed.

“I think that even though it ended, that relationship wasn’t a failure. Not for me anyway,” you said.

“No,” Chris assured, “not for me either.”

“We were young, you know? And I still look back and consider myself so lucky to have spent all of my high school years with you,” you explained.

A smile tugged at the corner of Chris’ lips as he covered his eyes with his hat. He had loved you since pre-k and when you split, no matter how mutual the decision was, he still lost his best friend.

“All of my best memories from high school have you in them. And, they’re not ruined because we broke up… They’re 10 times better because they were with you,” you said, "I have no regrets about dating you."

You hadn’t told him that before. There were a lot of things that you regretted not saying and you were glad to have the opportunity to say them now.

You waited to hear if he was going to respond but, you pictured him on the other side of the phone hiding his face and trying to keep his shit together. He might have acted tough but, he wasn’t good at this kind of thing.

“I still remember that road trip we took to Portland with your family,” you started. “Oh my god, I forgot about that. Do you remember when Matt ran over the squirrel and cried for like, 2 hours?” Chris asked. "It was like 5 minutes," Matt argued.

You could hear Nick and Matt laughing in the background. Their voices were getting more and more distant. You figured that Chris was done with the video and was heading to his room.

The thought that their life in LA was so foreign to you made you kind of sad. Even when you broke up, you promised that you’d always be friends or, at least, you’d always stay in touch. You knew that you could have made more of an effort, and in the beginning, you both did, but it was hard to go back to being friends after a relationship like that.

You stayed on the phone for hours, reminiscing about young love. You talked about dancing in parking lots and making out in breakrooms at your high school jobs. You remembered picnics in your Dad’s pickup truck and Valentine's Day dates in minivans. You laughed about corny pickup lines and awful date ideas. But, mostly, you remembered how much you loved each other and laughed at yourselves for thinking that young love lasted forever.

“Hey… thanks for calling,” you said. It was 2 a.m. and you had to go. You wanted to stay and talk to him all night like you used to do when you were 16. You wanted to know that when you hung up, he’d be outside ready to pick you up for school. You wanted to go back in time and fall in love with him all over again. But, this good thing came to an end.

“I sometimes want to call you but, it never feels like the right time,” you said. “Call” he whispered, “whenever you want to. I’m here… I’m always going to be here,” Chris said.

Before you hung up, he paused just to say “I still love you, y/n”. “I still love you too”, you replied.

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bittenbyyou · 1 year ago

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Smitten

High School!AU | Peter Parker x Reader

genre: fluff

description: Just Peter Parker falling for you and coming up with the silliest plan to talk to you more.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: some Spider-Man Homecoming spoilers, Peter being a dork lol

a/n: Hello! This is my first time writing for Peter and I’m such nervous posting it, but I adore him and thought the origin story of how my bf and I got together suited Peter so well. Lol. So enjoy!

The first time Peter heard about you was in freshman year when you were ranked number one in academics, earning jealous stares from everyone. But not from him; he was rather impressed.

Sophomore year was when your name came up again through his ex-girlfriend, Liz. Turns out you were her partner for an English project, which he didn’t think much of. He was happy with Liz… until he defeated her dad, who turned out to be a villain called “The Vulture”, and she and her mom moved to Oregon afterwards…

Anyway, it was now junior year and for the first time ever, he had a class with you—good ol’ AP U.S. History.

“Dude, over here,” Ned called out from the first row of seats near the back corner. Peter smiled at his best friend and made his way over, taking the seat behind him.

“Hey Ned.”

“So glad we have another class together.”

“You said it.”

The two made small talk until you arrived, taking the seat next to Ned. He was mutual friends with a lot of your friends, so you felt comfortable sitting next to someone you were at least acquainted with rather than a stranger.

“Hi Ned,” you said sweetly.

“Oh [Y/N], you’re in this class too? Nice!” Ned gestured a hand towards Peter. “This is my best friend, Peter.”

“Peter… Parker, right?” you asked. Peter was surprised you knew his full name, but then remembered Liz. He nodded his head a few too many times, but you found it endearing.

“Y-Yeah. Hi.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m [Y/N].”

Wow. You were cute.

“Sup losers,” a deadpanned voice said from behind you. You turned around to see MJ, jumping out of your seat to give her a big hug.

“MJ! We’re in the same class, yay!”

“I know you’re not hugging me this early in the morning,” she said with her index finger raised.

“You know you love me.”

“Ew.”

She gave you two pats on the back and you let go, giggling at her expression of faux disgust. You returned to your seat, which was in the middle of MJ and Ned. MJ then quickly whipped her head around to look at Peter.

“Sup Parker,” MJ said with a salute of two fingers.

“Hey MJ.”

“You met [Y/N] yet?”

“Yeah, Ned introduced us… you know her too?”

“Met her in an elective. She looked lonely.”

“You make me sound like a loser with no friends,” you said, pouting your lips.

“I have no friends either.”

“You have me!” you chirped.

“And what about us?” Ned asked, gesturing back and forth to him and Peter.

“Whatever,” MJ brushed off. The three of you laughed while Peter watched, feeling somewhat left out even though he was mentioned.

“I’m a bit jealous. You all already know each other,” you said. Wow, you said exactly what he was thinking. They knew you, but he didn’t.

“Well the only person you don’t know is Peter and I only met him because of the decathlon. He’s really not all that interesting,” MJ said, smirking in his direction.

“Are you serious? Peter’s the coolest,” Ned said, hyping him up like a true best friend. “Peter knows Sp—”

“Dude!” Peter exclaimed, hinting at him to shut up with his deadly glare.

Ned chuckled nervously. “I mean… you’ll get to know him, [Y/N]. And he’ll get to know you.”

*Ding!*

Saved by the bell.

From that day on, the four of you grew closer. Group work was always in teams of four in that class which worked out perfectly. Peter quickly learned you hated presentations because you would freeze up and trip on your words, so he volunteered to present instead just to hear you thank him and flash that sweet smile.

At lunch, Ned always invited you and MJ to join him and that’s when Peter learned how passionate you were about food. Specifically the school’s chicken alfredo.

“It’s delicious!” you said, doing a little happy dance after eating a forkful of pasta.

“It’s gross, processed food. Do we even know if it’s chicken?” MJ asked, eyeing the meat on her fork suspiciously.

“I don’t care, I’m still eating it,” you said, enjoying the noms.

“Aren’t you lactose intolerant?” Ned asked.

“That’s not stopping me.”

“I’m lactose intolerant,” Peter said without thinking. Everyone stared at him with a variety of expressions. MJ was skeptical, Ned was confused, and you were surprised.

“I literally saw you eating ice cream yesterday,” MJ pointed out.

“And his bowels paid for it,” Ned lied. Peter let out a nervous laugh.

“Hah, yeah, I was on the toilet… for hours.” You placed a hand over your mouth, trying your best not to laugh. “But I’m fine now!”

“Are you sure you should be eating lunch today then?” you asked. “Wouldn’t want your bowels to hurt again. I’ll do the honors of reducing food waste and eat it for you.”

MJ and Ned stared at Peter. Well, MJ was daring him to eat it with her piercing eyes while Ned gave him a knowing look.

“You can have it,” Peter said warmly, sliding his tray of food over to you.

“Yay!” you cheered. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Because honestly seeing you eat and doing that happy dance again filled him up more than any food could. You were too cute.

Peter was sure of it. He definitely had a crush on you. It took him until almost the end of first semester to realize it, but he knew now.

He liked how smart you were. The way you answered any question the teacher threw at you so flawlessly was a mystery to him because history bored him.

He liked how funny you were. The way you were passionately defending why mayo was the superior condiment against MJ and her love for ketchup made him die of laughter.

He liked how kind you were. The way you helped another girl plan a dance for her quinceanera despite having so much homework.

He liked how cute you were. The way you fell asleep in class after being the first to finish your test.

He even liked how clueless you were. The way you knew absolutely nothing about Star Wars but still allowed him to ramble on and on about it in class and listen to him with a caring heart.

Yup. He definitely liked you.

A lot.

But he didn’t know how to tell you. You two didn’t hang out outside of school at all and he was so darn shy. It wasn’t until he and MJ hung out at Ned’s place one day when an opportunity arose. You were invited to his house as well, but you declined because of some projects you left till the last minute.

The trio were building Legos and at one point Ned had to go downstairs and help his lola cook dinner while MJ and Peter remained upstairs. She was sitting on Ned’s bed while Peter was on the floor continuing to build the Lego Death Star.

“I’m going to give you some advice, Pete,” MJ started to say. Peter looked up at her in confusion.

“About what?”

“About [Y/N].”

His eyes started to wander around the room. “W-What about [Y/N]?”

“What do you think about her?”

“What do I think a-about her? What’s not to think, she’s sweet. She’s nice. She’s kind.”

“Those are synonyms.”

“She’s smart. God, she is so smart, and she gets my jokes and actually laughs at them and—”

“Yup. You like her.”

His face fell. “No… No… No~.”

“So should I call her for you?” She whipped out her phone and Peter panicked.

“Don’t!”

“Why not? You have got to talk to her.”

“I do talk to her.”

“Outside of school,” MJ specified. “I have her number if you want it.”

“No, she’ll find it weird if I text her out of nowhere.”

“So you’re going to continue staring at her when she’s not looking like a total creep?”

“I don’t… I don’t stare,” Peter mumbled. MJ rolled her eyes at his denial.

“You do,” she teased. “Look, I’m going to the restroom. Here’s my phone. Do whatever you’d like with it.”

If Peter was a creep, then MJ was a psychopath because who would let anyone use their phone so freely? He still took the device from her hands and waited until he was alone to tap your name in MJ’s messages. His heart was racing at the thought of having your number, but he didn’t feel ready for it.

So… he did something else.

5:44 PM | MJ🖤: Hey 🙂

Yikes. He really was a creep.

5:45 PM | You 😇: Hi MJ! What’s up? Did y’all finish building the Legos?

Peter smiled to himself at your enthusiastic greeting.

5:45 PM | MJ🖤: No, not yet. Ned left us to help with dinner. How are you?

Your next reply didn’t come as fast this time. Peter panicked, wondering if he said something weird. Then again, this whole situation was borderline crazy.

5:49 PM | You 😇: I’m doing my homework. It’s so boring. Wish I was with you all. 🥺

5:50 PM | MJ🖤: We wish you were here too. 💖

Peter saw the thought bubble with three dots pop up, eagerly waiting for your reply.

5:50 PM | You 😇: Hey MJ… I have a question.

5:50 PM | MJ🖤: Go for it.

5:50 PM | You 😇: Who are you? Lol.

Shit. Shit. Shit. You knew. Oh my god, Peter’s life was over. He got up off the floor and started pacing around the room in panic.

5:51 PM | You 😇: I know you’re not MJ… so either you stole her phone and I’m going to have to report you for identity theft or she let you use her phone.

5:53 PM | MJ🖤 : Okay, it’s Peter. Don’t report me. 🥺

He held his breath for your next response, facepalming himself for getting caught so fast.

5:53 PM | You 😇: Peter, why are you pretending to be MJ? If you wanted to text me, I could’ve just given you my number. Haha.

5:53 PM | MJ🖤 : Wait, really? I’m sorry. Idk why I did that.😅

5:53 PM | You 😇: Yeah. Here’s my number XXX-XXX-XXXX. Please text me as yourself. Lolol.

Peter had the biggest grin spread across his face as he fell onto Ned’s bed in relief. He couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. By some miracle he did it. He got your number… he actually got your number.

“Why are you staring at my phone like a creepy serial killer?” He looked up to see MJ leaning against Ned’s door frame.

“Uh… I got her number?”

“How?”

“... You’re going to kill me.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #mcu peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker blurb #my writing #smitten

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chososangelbaby · 3 months ago

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PRETTY LIPS (H.IWAIZUMI)

synopsis… in which y/n encounters her old highschool sneaky link at a party! fem reader x iwaizumi! (she/her pronouns)

warnings… alcohol, drunk sex, public sex, oral (m receiving & f receiving) rough sex, profanity, degrading kink, timeskip iwaizumi.

A/N… this is my first nsfw post. please be nice

You found yourself at the volleyball reunion gala that you swore to yourself you weren’t going to go to. But of course when having a friend like oikawa.. he was a hard person to say no to. So now here you are, in a red tight dress that shows off your curves, paired with black heels, your hair and makeup done elegantly, and with your little purse to match your outfit.

It sounded corny but you took a deep breath before going in and seeing all these guys you knew from high school. Your highlight of your high school year is being the volleyball manager for Aboa Johsai. Thanks to, Oikawa. Without his constant begging and pleading you wouldn’t have took the opportunity, but glad you did take it.

You walked in the venue, your eyes going everywhere around the place, admiring all the details they did for this gala. As you went further in the venue you started to see some of the other people from the different schools you played against during volleyball season. Some of them giving you a smile or a wave. But of course no one came up to you, so you made your way to the the bar and started ordering drink after drink.

Usually your alcohol tolerance was low but today you really felt it kicking in you. Your lips always touching the glass and leaving the color of the lip stain you were wearing on it. But also just sitting alone and looking around, seeing more people from high school, your ex crushes, ex best friends. It couldn’t have gone more worse until you spotted your old hookup. Iwaizumi Hajime, oh the boy you were deeply hooked on after giving you the night of your life.

Remembering the way he used to fuck your guts, his big cock always being to big for your tight pussy. The pussy he would always crave after practices or sometimes when he would get into an argument and needed the stress off of him, so he would use you. Or when he would fuck the shit out of you in the club room while covering your mouth as his balls would be smacking the back of your ass. The way he would pretend you guys were just friends but then in the night he would be calling you to come over so he could pound you out while calling you a “good girl” or “sweetheart”. Just the thought of him made your pussy a little wet

Iwaizumi smirked to himself as he saw you sipping on your drink. His eyes wandering on your body, as well as your face. Those pretty lips of yours.. how he missed them around his cock. He felt himself staring to hard and looked away putting his hand on his face, covering his eyes. He took a deep breath and approached you.

“hey pretty, it’s been a long time huh?” he took the seat next to you and put his arm around you, pulling you close. “haha yeah it has been. how have you been haji?”. That damn nickname always got the best of him and you knew it.

“i’ve been doing good” he nodded, “how about you? what have you been up to these days?” he whispered in your ear. “well just always writing about the teams and just journaling” you responded to him, making him nod at your every word now and then.

“well that’s good, i’m glad you went the way you wanted” he smiled, he was actually happy for you. “are you still training some of the guys here?” you looked over your shoulder at him. “yeah I actually am still. you know I could be your personal trainer..” you laughed as he winked at you. “maybe I will” you giggled, taking a sip out of your drink.

AN HOUR HAS PAST, you and iwaizumi were really drunk. you both kept ordering drinks after drinks. Talking and catching up with one another. Laughing at iwaizumis stupid uncle jokes he made. You forgot how he used to make you laugh, especially joke around with you. It made you feel bad on how you cut him off, he was thinking about it as well and decided to ask you.

“you know we had a good connection, pretty. why did you let go of us like that?” he tilted his head at you. You felt yourself tense up a bit, “haji.. you knew we weren’t going to last after high school you know with uhm.. hooking up. so I just let us go” you shrugged your shoulders, taking another sip out of drink. “i’m not letting that happen again.” he said in a serious tone.

You raised your brow in confusion, “what do you mean?..” he smirked, “i’m not letting you go, sweetheart” you felt yourself smile. you both sat there in silence before iwaizumi broke it. “I miss these pretty lips gobbling on my cock” he ran his thumb on your bottom lip and insert it in your mouth.

“suck on it, sweetheart” you wasted no time and started sucking on his thumb while looking at him. he was really enjoying it, as he missed your warm mouth around his throbbing cock. It only made him want you even more. Iwaizumi took his thumb out your mouth, grabbing your hand and taking you to a private bathroom, locking it behind him.

“get on your knees” he commanded. you got on your knees like he asked, looking up at him. he unbuckled his pants bringing them down to his ankles along with his boxers. his throbbing cock sprung out, his pre cum on the tip. you felt your mouth water, “cmon babygirl, you know how to do it” iwaizumi caressed your cheek and slowly inserted his cock in your mouth.

You swirled your tongue around his tip before you took his whole size in your mouth. “fuck I miss this mouth wrapped around my cock” iwaizumi groaned, putting his hands on your jaw. You looked up at him while he started thrusting into your mouth. Pools of saliva were pouring out of the corner of your mouth. Your eyebrows scrunched up together as you kept gagging when his cock hit the back of your throat.

You removed his hands off your jaw, intertwining your fingers with his, your head bobbling up and down on him, earning little moans and groans from him. Poor Iwaizumi hasn’t been in pleasure like this in a long time, making him in a moaning mess. The way you took him was driving him nuts, your eyes on him, looking for his reaction and you knew that he clearly missed you.

“taking my cock s-so ngh well” iwaizumi moaned out. You nodded as tears were falling from the corner of your eyes, “fuck I-I gotta.. take a pic of your lips gobbling on my cock” Iwaizumi took out his phone, letting go of your intertwined fingers as he opened his phone going to the camera app. He positioned his camera, his hands caressing your jaw. He pressed the button, the flash pointing on you looking up at him his cock deep in your mouth. “such a good fucking girl” he cooed as he viewed the picture and threw his phone to the side.

He grabbed your head guiding it as the pace became fast each second. He adored your mouth especially the way you let out moans against his cock. It only made him reach his peak. His cock twitching inside, letting you know he was about to bust his load in your mouth. “ah f-fuck! I-i’m gonna cum, babygirl” he moaned, his eyes focusing on you. “c-can I cum in your mouth?.” he groaned, you eagerly nodded. “ha! such a good girl for me” he let out a breathless laugh and groaned.

You soon felt his load in your mouth, his moan a little loud. Iwaizumis legs trembling a bit as the pleasure felt so damn good. You stuck out your tongue showing him the cum and then swallowing it. “such a good girl, now it’s my turn.. let me get a taste of that pretty pussy”

He helped you on the counter of the sink, spreading your legs as he got on his knees looking up at you. “be a good girl f’me, okay?” being desperate as you are you nodded at his request. He slowly dragged his lips on your inner thighs giving them kisses. You watched as he gave kisses, slowly moving to your wet pussy that was already dripping.

He took a smell and smirked, without a warning his tongue immediately lapped on your wet folds making you let out a gasp. It was so unfair on how his mouth felt against your clit, little groans and moans against your pussy just turned you on even more. “I-Iwa! n-ngh! you feel so.. g-good” you struggled with the words coming out of your mouth. The moans and whimpers Iwaizumi was getting out of you just made him wanted you to cum on his face more.

He slowly inserted two of his long fingers in your clit, “A-Ah! h-haji!” your yelped out in pleasure, your toes curling. His fingers plumped in and out of deeply. “mmm, so fucking tight” He smirked, still slurping up your juices. You felt your jaw on the floor, your mouth making a “O” shape. He was really doing a number on you, his nose against pressed up against your clit. You knew he was deep in your pussy.

His tongue lapping on your juices and sucking on your clit was driving you to the edge. “I-I’m about to! ngh! cum!” you helped while tugging on his brown locks. “cum on my tongue, baby doll” he said against your pussy, his fingers plumping in and out of your pussy fast. His long slender fingers hitting all your spots.

You felt yourself release all your cum as he slurped up all of it, not letting one drop fall. He lifted his face off your pussy wiping the juices off his chin. “here taste yourself, baby” he grabbed you by the neck and smashed his lips onto yours, as you tasted yourself but also having a little makeout with him.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, his hands going to your thighs and holding them. He pulled away from the kiss and aligned his cock into the entrance of your pussy. “You ready, babygirl?” he smirked, you nodded eagerly and wrapped your arms around his neck. He slowly inserted himself in you, his cock being clenched around by your wet soaking pussy, making iwaizumi groan. “holy shit, after all these y-years your still fucking tight” his fingers digging in your thighs, earning a moan from your lips.

Soon, iwaizumi started thrusting in you, his size deep into you, “h-holy shit” you moaned, digging your nails into his back. “fuck” iwaizumi said while grunting. His pace started going fast, soon you felt your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure. “Look at you, ngh! being fucked like a slut” iwaizumi whispered in your ear.

Slapping skin sounds were being filled in the room, lewd moans. Iwaizumi made you feel so good, the way he was pounding in you deeply, hitting your g spot. Your gummy walls clenching around his cock. Iwaizumi looking into your eyes while fucking in you, his hand wrapped around your throat. “ooo yes, right there haji! faster, faster, faster please..” you wined.

“since you asked so fuck! nicely, sure thing babygirl” Iwaizumi grunted, picking up the pace faster* His hands kneading your ass as he thrust in you. “f-fuck! ngh! I missed this cock in me!” you whimpered. Of course you missed this, Iwaizumi always dicking you down, whispering in your ear how your his and no one could have you like how he does.

You felt his cock twitching in you, letting you know he was about to cum in you, which iwaizumi was very vocal about. “F-Fuck, I’m about” he moans, “cum, baby. Let me cum in that pretty pussy please.” he begged you, sounding like a little whiny kid begging for candy.

You nodded quickly, “f-fill me up please, ngh! haji”. Iwaizumi let out a breathless laugh and soon you felt his hot warm seed in your pussy. Thank god you were on your pill. “Holy s-shit!” He groaned loudly, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. It sure has been a while ever since Iwaizumi got to cum inside his precious little high school hookup.

He slowly pulled out of you, cum dripping down your legs. Iwaizumi cleaned you up and helped you get your dress back on. Zipping up the back of your dress and making you look as normal and not like you just got piped down. As soon as iwaizumi was done getting ready, he pulled you by the neck and gave you a kiss, a long passionate kiss. “Thank you, pretty” he whispered making you smile.

The both of you carefully got out of the little private bathroom and blend in the gala like nothing happened. You and Iwaizumi still talking, his hands on your waist, his hands falling to your ass as you guys both were talking. Soon the night came to an end and you had to say your goodbyes.

“Well, thanks haji for not making this night not so boring” you giggled as he placed his finger under your chin smiling at you. “here type your number in my phone” he handed you his phone, making you freeze. “hajime! why would you put this as your lockscreen?!” you yelled showing him the lockscreen, which was the picture he took of you giving him head.

“I wanna be reminded how those pretty lips felt around my cock~..” he whispered before smashing his lips onto yours.

SOCIALS

instagram: ririslut_

tiktok: lluvrsriee

wattpad: kagsluvrgirl

#anime #love #wattpad #aesthetic #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #anime and manga #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu iwaizumi #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi fic #smut #haikyu smut

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jazzthatonewriterchick · 2 years ago

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Writer's Note: Hey, y'all! I finally remembered to do a masterlist for my fic shit so everyone can find my work more easily. Enjoy & thank you so much for the love! -Jazz 💕

Oneshots

A New Kind of Distraction (poly!KiriMina x bi!Fem!Reader) (18+) - After your boyfriend of a year breaks up with you on what would have been your two-year anniversary, your very good, very attractive friend Mina (whom you’ve secretly been crushing on since high school) and her even more attractive boyfriend Kirishima decide that the only way to get you over your shit ex is through a threesome with her and him when you get an invite to Dynamight’s birthday party.

Smile for the Camera (Geto Suguru x Black!Plus-sized!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you decide to volunteer to model for your friend’s lingerie line photoshoot when the original model gets sick and meet the very sexy photographer who isn’t letting you leave until you realize how gorgeous you are.

All Up in Your Mind (Dom!Hitoshi x sub!Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you decide to use Hitoshi’s quirk to your advantage when things get tough in your life and you just need a bit of release. Lucky for you, Hitoshi is an understanding and generous guy, but what happens when he starts to get sick of trying to understand why you put up that wall between them even though you’re visiting him every weekend?

Trigger Me (Aizawa-centric/No Reader) [Request Fill] (18+) - In which Aizawa decides to take matters into his own hands to try and ease his stress a little more, but what starts as something fun and interesting when he stumbles across a hypnosis video catered to stronger orgasms turns into a BIG problem when he finds himself unable to break away from the hold his new addiction has on him.

When I Get Home (Hawks x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which Keigo realizes how truly lucky he is to have you by his side despite his refusal to open up to you and show you how deep his scars run, so he decides when he finally gets home from his stupid fucking mission, he’ll show you his scars, his heart, and everything more.

A Birthday Threesome for 'Suki (Bakugou x Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you and your best friend decide to help your man see the joy in birthdays by giving him a threesome. Also, Bakugou likes butt plugs. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBY 🎈

Like A Big Girl (Quirkless!Dabi x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you get the surprise of your life when your apartment neighbor and crush (who happens to be extremely anti-social) shows up at your housewarming party to celebrate your moving into your first-ever apartment after a breakup.

Peace and Quiet (poly!Geto x Gojo x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you realize peace and quiet aren’t ideal with your two noisy ass (yet extremely attractive) coworkers renting out the same Airbnb as you while visiting the hot springs on a business trip. But lucky for you, they know another way to help you relax.

Drunk N Nasty (poly!Pro!Bakusquad x Black!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot) - In which you and Mina get tired of your boring ass boyfriends not making time for their girlfriends, so you two decide to hit the club for a night out with every intention of getting under your boyfriends’ skin. Fortunately for you, it works and your men decide to teach you and Mina a lesson about being some disobedient brats.

Ao3 link here!

Several Shots Later (Pro!Sero x Black!Chubby!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you go on a vacation in an effort to relax and feel more confident, but find yourself falling for the sexy stranger who sends you a drink across the room and also happens to give you some firsthand dance lessons and a night you’ll never forget.

In the Fruit Orchard (Bull!KiriBaku x Heifer!Reader) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] - In which you, a heifer girl, get a night with the hottest bull boys on Aizawa's farm after a trip through the fruit orchard.

What Spoiled Girls Get (Pro!Bakugou x Dabi x Plus-Size!Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] - You get whatever you want as Bakugou and Dabi’s shared GF. You’re their pretty princess. Their baby. Their spoiled little girl. You wouldn’t have it any other way and don’t know any different, so when they take you shopping to get some clothes for your birthday and you see a dress in the window that costs a bit out of their bracket, they get it for you…but not without you showing how thankful you are.

As Beautiful as Moonlight (Hawks x Black!Chubby!Fem!Reader) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] - In which Hawks tries to show you that you are more than just a conquest and that his stares aren't because he's judging you. They're because he is dying to make you his.

Dance For Me (Fatgum x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you give Fatgum the experience of a lifetime when his friends drag him to a strip club for his birthday.

First Day Jitters (Pornstar!Bakugou x Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you spend your first day on the job as a pornstar with your favorite adult film persona in front of the cameras and are shown what it’s really like fucking with a pro.

Breakin' A Sweat (Kiri x Tetsu x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which your weekly session with your very hot personal trainers ends in a different kind of workout when they reciprocate your burning attraction to them.

Ao3 link here!

Yours To Keep (Daddy Dom!Law x sub!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which your boyfriend the best gift you can give him: yourself, totally and completely.

Lost in the Woods (Werewolf!BakuKiri x Black!Plus-Sized!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you get lost on your way home one night while coming back from a party and end up straight in the jaws of two strange yet sexy men who you get the feeling aren't quite human.

The Swordsman’s Secret (msub!Zoro x Black!Femdom!Reader) (18+) - In which your favorite swordsman has an interesting secret and kink that you are more than happy to explore with him in the bedroom. Or in which Zoro gets pegged for the first time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZORO! 💚

Going Half (on a Baby) (Toxic!Toji x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which Toji, your fuck buddy for five years and the man you're secretly in love with, "persuades" you to let him fuck without a condom after he exposes himself for his breeding kink.

Prove Your Worth to Me (Brat-tamer!CEO!Nanami x Bratty!Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you apply for a sectorial job, but the interview process is a lot more intense than you bargained for.

Daddy's Home (Dom!Gojo x Sub!Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - It’s been 3 years. You believe your fiancé is dead. You’ve been attempting to move forward in your life without him there beside you. You try to grieve properly in order to move on….until he comes home. And he’s more than ready to make up lost time.

The Greatest Gift of All (JJK Men x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which your friends take it upon themselves to help you release your inner slut by taking you to a glory hole for the first time to get you some dick for Christmas. Many of them.

WRAPPED UP TIGHT (Dom!Levi x Sub!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you surprise Levi with a special present under the tree for his birthday and Christmas: you, naked, wrapped up in Christmas lights.

I Love a Challenge (Brat-tamer!Toji x Bratty!Self-Insert!Reader) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] - In which you feel like you are boss enough to make Toji break when you meet him one night at a club and he gives you a lesson on what happens when you go toe to toe with him in the bedroom. Your fierceness and brattiness may be sexy, but Toji knows a thing or two about making anyone submit…and he loves a challenge. That challenge being you, little V!

SELF LOVE 101 (Gojo x Black!Self-Insert!Reader) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] - When you get invited to your coworker's Valentine's Day party, you have no intention of going. Especially since this particular coworker isn't exactly your cup of tea: Gojo Satoru is just too proud, too cocky, and too damn full of himself for a girl like you. But when you're persuaded to go and find yourself alone with him, Gojo will stop at nothing until you see that loving yourself is nothing to hate on. After all, a beautiful woman like you deserves to be loved on...especially on camera.

Comfortable With You (Inexperienced!Painter!Choso x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - Choso has never been anyone like you before: so confident and sure of yourself yet so sweet and compassionate. He can’t stop thinking about you. So to make this Valentine’s Day one you’ll never forget, he’ll show you just how comfortable he is with you and how desperately he wants to make you feel the same…even though you’re his first everything. [Based on the song “Comfortable” by H.E.R.]

How To Be Good 🐈‍⬛ (Dom!Nanami x sub!Self-Insert!Reader Pet Play One Shot) (18+) -In which Nanami has to give you some lessons on being an obedient little kitty and behaving yourself when you’re alone when you keep sending him videos to his phone while he is at work.

Sweet Like Sugar (Tattoo Artist!Geto x Black!Bimbo!Reader) (18+) - In which Geto gets paid a pleasant surprise at his tattoo shop when his favorite, cute little bimbo client comes to visit one night on his birthday to cover her ex's tattoo.

Served On A Platter (Sanji Vinsmoke x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you give a very special surprise breakfast to your favorite love chef for his birthday...and you make pancakes too.

To Be A Good Slut Girl (Mean MDoms!Sukuna & Choso x Black fsub!Reader x msub!Itadori) (18+) - In which your boyfriend’s older brothers decide that they don’t like how you’re treating their kid brother (who is too oblivious and in love to realize that you’re using him for his money and his d*ck) and decide to teach you some lessons.

After Hours (Boss!Geto x Assistant!Self-Insert!Reader One Shot) (18+) [COMMISSION FILL] - In which Geto Suguru, your boss, and owner of his own public relations firm, celebrates a job well done on a five-month-long project with you, his trusty secretary, but what was once a friendly, professional relationship between you turns into something else when the staff goes home for the night and champagne gets involved.

In A Rut (Monster!Hawks x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - You haven't seen your boss around the office in a while ever since he started feeling "under the weather", but when you decide to visit him one day to cheer him up with some soup, you realize that this isn't a normal spring cold. Your boss is in heat and you, his good little assistant, are the only one who can help him cure it.

Playin’ Games (Choso x Self-Insert!Reader) (18+) [COMMISSION FILL] - In which your brother's best friend calls from his business trip to play a game of truth or dare over a Skype call, but it quickly turns into something else once your brother heads to bed and naughty pics and strip teasing get involved.

Most Wanted (Mafia Boss!Toji x Spy!Self-Insert!Reader) (18+) [COMMISSION FILL] - You’re a highly skilled hitwoman. You’ve been doing this for years–getting paid to take hits on the wealthy and corrupt at your agency’s order. You figure taking a hit on the renowned Tokyo mafia boss Toji Fushigiro won’t be any different. However, things take a terrifying turn for you, and your skills are put to the test when you go undercover as a dancer at his favorite club and give him a private dance. But instead of killing you, Toji takes it upon himself to punish you and show you what happens when you fuck with him.

The Florist & the Baker (Florist!Nanami x Fem!Black!Baker!Reader) (18+) - In which you get a storyline straight out of a meet-cute romcom when Nanami, the quiet and stoic yet handsome florist who only comes into your bakery for coffee, asks you out on a date.

Siren Song 🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏾‍♀️🧜🏿‍♀️ (Zoro x Sanji x Black!Mermaid!Reader) (18+) - In which the siren song that you sing in hopes of finding someone to free you from your curse attracts more than one mate when two of the most notorious and wanted pirates come to search your cave after a shipwreck.

Hot As A Summer’s Eve 🥵 [Rengoku x Black!Fem!Chubby!Reader 18+ One Shot) [COMMISSION FILL] - In which our favorite sexy, fire-haired himbo Rengoku decides to confess his feelings to you, his favorite Demon Slayer Corp, and show you that he adores your body just for how it was made: by fucking you stupid in the woods at a summer festival.

Sneaky Link 💙 (Toxic!Student!Gojo x Professor!MILF!Reader FWB) (18+) - You’re a stressed-out mom and college professor who has been swamped with your job and mommy life lately. You’re so knee-deep in your work and kids that you need some kind of release. Unfortunately, you’re not finding any of that in your husband, but luckily, that’s what Gojo Satoru is here for…even though he’s way too young for you and is your student.

In the Heat of Things 🐰 (Dom!Nanami x sub!Bunnygirl!Reader One Shot) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] - In which you're Nanami's bunny girl girlfriend who is going through a rough time during your "cycle", so your gentlemanly boyfriend takes it upon himself to help you out and ease your heat when your body tells him what your mouth can't.

You Should Come Thru (Hawks x Self-Insert!Reader One Shot) (18+) [COMMISSION FILL] - After a month of hard work, no play, and a bad date, Hawks invites you over to his apartment for some tea to relax and finally get some time with his bestie, but as the night grows long, you suddenly lose your filter and begin telling him things that he shouldn’t know. All because of his very special tea.

Bikini Body 👙 (Poly!KiriBakuMina x Fem!Chubby!Reader 18+ One Shot) - In which your boyfriends and girlfriend decide to show you just how good you look in your new bathing suit one hot summer day on the beach.

Rock The Boat 🛳️ (Bartender!Toji x Black!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot) - You go on a cruise vacation after your boyfriend cheats on you and meets Toji, the fine-ass bartender & divorcee. You're invited to a white party that he’s working at and while there, you find yourself flirting with him thanks to the liquid courage. After slipping him a note with room number, you wait for him that night. At first, you believe that he isn’t coming and feel rejected, but when he does, you realize that this vacation is just what you need to get over your heartbreak.

Ride ‘Em, Cowgirl! (Cowboy!Ace x Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) - As the author of some famous smutty romance novels, you decide to take a vacation in the countryside for a while to get over your breakup and work on your new book but you suffer from writer’s block. However, a meet-cute situation with a sexy farmhand who lives next door might be able to help you kill two birds with one stone.

Your Kind of Men (Poly!Pro!Bi!TodoDeku x Chubby!Black!Fem!Reader SFW One Shot) (18+) - In which you go on a blind date set up by your friend and her pro hero partners, not realizing that you're about to get your chance to meet some pros yourself who are highly interested in having a third...and they hope that it's you.

Wife Girlfriend Training (Tengen x Black!Self-Insert!reader One Shot) (18+) [COMMISSION FILL] - When Tengen puts in a big order to your bakery and you're short-staffed, you deliver it yourself only to find Uzui home alone. To repay you for the trip, he invites you in for dinner where things take a major turn when he finally admits his and his wives’ attraction to you. You’ve never been in a poly relationship before, so Tengen gives you an introduction to what it would be like to be his 4th girl...including some “training” of his own.

Turn Off Your Phone (Dom!Pro!Hitoshi x sub!Plus-Sized!Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) [REQUEST FILL] -In which Hitoshi gets tired of not being the center of your attention and forces you to put your damn phone down.

Desperado (Dom!Mizu x sub!Self-Insert!Reader One Shot) (18+) [COMMISSION FILL] - When you randomly ask Mizu to help train you to become a stronger fighter, she discovers the reason is that you plan on accompanying her on her journey for revenge. She initially refuses, but after a moment of passion turns into a night of confessed feelings and a goodbye, Mizu begins to change her mind about working alone.

CREEP (Dabi x Hawks x Chubby!Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) - In which a night home with your man turns into one of pure terror and a walk on the dark side when you get the feeling that you’re being followed. After coming home to an empty house when your man gets caught up at work, you realize, terrifyingly, that you are right. There are strangers in your house. *GOOD ENDING VER* / *BAD ENDING VER*

Just A Little Bite (Vampire!Nanami x Black!Bimbo!Reader One Shot) (18+) - Something strange is going on with Nanami. He doesn’t know what it is and neither do you. All you know is that he’s been extremely…possessive lately. And tonight at a friend’s costume party, when he sees you dressed in your sexy little outfit that garners unwanted attention from other men, Nanami’s “instincts” kick in and he drags you off to show you and everybody else that you’re his and his only. But does this strange yet sexy behavior come from you or is it just a full moon?

HE COMES AT NIGHT (Vampire!Zoro x Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) - You suddenly find out why the people in the village you recently moved to become so strange at night when you discover that the legend Zoro Roronoa, the bloodthirsty Swordsman, is real. And he’s got his sights set on those who wander the streets after sundown and don’t believe in him…that being you.

Babysitting Has Its Perks 🖤🐰 (Big Bro!Choso x Big Bro!Dabi x Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) -You’ve been babysitting kids as a side hustle for a while now to get extra money. You have your regulars, one of them being a doctor’s cute little son Yuji. Though the pay is good, you admit that the main reason you come back to babysit the kid is because of his sexy older brother Choso. On Halloween, when Choso gets caught up in a pinch, he hits you up last minute to babysit Yuji and his bandmate’s little brother. You think this will be an easy night…until you meet Choso’s bandmate Dabi…and you decide to wear a bunny costume…and you realize just how much your secret crush and his hot friend love bunny girls.

Must Be A Full Moon 🌕 (Werewolf!Nico x Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) - You’ve been dating Nico for about five months now and you couldn’t be happier with him. He’s big, he’s sexy, he’s protective, and he listens! He’s the perfect boyfriend…except for one thing: you haven’t had sex yet. Every time you come close to it, he always makes an excuse and leaves your apartment before anything more than kissing can happen. What is it, you wonder? Is he not sexually attracted to you? Is he nervous? What could it be? One dark night, while the moon is high in the sky after a costume party, you get your answer…and everything you’ve been craving from your big, strong, sexy boyfriend.

Smile, Sl*t! (Bully!KiriBaku x Chubby!Black!Fem!Reader One Shot) (18+) REQUEST FILL] - When your friend drags you out to a costume party in a slutty angel costume that you reluctantly agree to wear, she doesn’t tell you that it’s a party thrown by the same two frat boys that you can’t stand…who also happen to be your longtime bullies. When they take notice that you’ve decided to attend their party, they’ll definitely make themselves known and give you a Halloween that you’ll never forget…because it’s all on camera.

Short Stories/Fics

I'll Show You "Uptight" (Bakugou x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which a very pissed and very emotionally frustrated Bakugou decides he’s not going to let you get away with your lip that easily and pays you a visit one girls’ night to prove to you that he is, indeed, able to be “looser” after you make a drunk comment about his introverted and uptight personality to your mutual friends and Kirishima “accidentally” spills the beans.

Ao3 link here!

With Good Weather Brings Good Breedings (BakuKiri x Black!Bunny Girl!Reader) (18+) - In which your spring cycle comes a little earlier than usual and you’re too afraid of your boyfriends–whom you’ve been dating for five months–thinking you’re weird instead of telling them about your cycle during mating season. However, during a picnic thrown especially for you, your two favorite pros are more aware than you realize and are more than happy to help you with your little problem.

Ao3 link here!

A First Time for Everything (BakuKiriMina x Fem!Reader) (18+) - You and your girlfriend Mina have been dating for three amazing years. You couldn’t ask for a better partner–someone who is supportive, loving, and willing to explore new things with you…including in the bedroom. So, after a UA High 5-year reunion when you run into THE Katsuki Bakugou and Eijrou Kirishima, two of the top pros in the game and your old crushes, you don’t expect those past butterflies to come rushing back. And when you find out Mina, Kiri, and Bakugou feel the same, you decide to embark on the journey of experiencing your first-ever foursome and possible polyamorous romance.

Ao3 link here!

Longer-Lengthed Stories/Fics

Here, Kitty, Kitty (Aizawa x Black!Catgirl!Reader) (18+) - In which you find yourself in the weirdest predicament after you’re scooped up and taken to a cat cafe after you decide to take the streets to fight some crime, and you’re adopted by your very anti-social and hot coworker Aizawa aka Eraserhead. [COMPLETED]

Ao3 link here!

Lovers & Friends (Hawks x Black!Fem!Reader) (18+) - In which you and Keigo have begun to realize the strange new feelings you both have for each other after one drunken night at a close friend’s wedding that ends with you in his bed, but because of your longtime friendship and committed relationships with other people, you’re more than happy to forget that night even happened and keep your mutual feelings in the dark…for now, at least. [COMPLETED]

Ao3 link here!

Hit 'Em Up! (Cowboy!SatoSugu x Black!Cowgirl!Reader) (18+) - You get to meet Geto & Gojo the Gunslingers, the notorious outlaws that have every town and law enforcement in a twist, when your bum-ass BF offers you as payment to avoid going to prison. Little do they know that this is only a part of your plan to get what you desire. But when you realize that the infamous gun-slinging, smooth-talking cowboys could be everything you want and more when they offer you a deal to team up with them, will you successfully be able to go through with it? [COMPLETED]

Headcanons N Drabbles

When You Wear Glasses (BNHA) (18+) (for Black!Fem!Readers)

Sundress Season (BNHA) (18+) (for Black!Fem!Readers)

You're the Cutest Bimbo He's Ever Seen (MHA) (18+) (for Fem!Readers)

You’re Not Wearing Any Panties (One Piece) (18+) (for Black!Fem!Readers)

He Gets H*rny From Your Halloween Costume (One Piece) (18+) (for Fem!Readers)

He Gets H*rny From Your Halloween Costume (JJK) (18+) (for Black!Fem!Readers)

You Speak His Native Language to Him (18+) (One Piece) (for Fem!Readers)

They're Your Blind V-Day Date (18+) (Crossover Anime) (For Black!Fem!Readers)

Where He Takes You For Your V-Day Date (18+) (JJK) (For Black!Fem!Readers)

YOU GOT ERRANDS TO RUN? NOT WITH THEM, YOU DON’T! (18+) (JJK) (For Black!Fem!Readers)

HE’S SO F**KING BIG THAT HE COULD CRUSH YOU & YOU LOVE IT (18+) (for Fem!Readers)

DRABBLE: HE & YOU ON WASH DAY 🫧 (18+) (JJK) (For Black!Fem!Readers)

#bnha smut #smutty smut #black fanfic writer #my fic shit #my works #black coded reader #black writers #masterlist

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chanswhxre · 2 years ago

Text

My Tutor

✩ masterlist ✩ requests ✩ kofi ✩ add to taglist

♡ Pairing : bestfriend! han jisung x reader

♡ Genre : non-idol au, college smut

♡ Word count : 2.1k+

♡ Warnings : 18+ nsfw, explicit sexual content, oral sex (m. receiving), cum swallowing

❗️minors, ageless, and blank blogs that will interact with me or my work will be BLOCKED.

[5:45 pm] quokka cheeks 🐿️

Yo, are you still coming over for study night?

[5:47 pm] feisty pants 😒

Yeah, I'll be there around 6:30. See ya

You were preparing to go to your best friend, Jisung's apartment. Every Saturday night you had your study sessions with him. Everyone says college is supposed to be about having fun, partying, getting drunk, laid, or possibly waking up with a throbbing headache or a new lover, and at the same time pass your subjects and be productive in your academics, but that's not the case with the two of you, though you guys used to then the both of you almost failed one of your majors and almost ended up being irregular students so Jisung initiated the study nights. Instead of movie nights or parties, you decided to study for your future.

You arrived at Jisung's apartment and met with Hyunjin, his roommate, by the door wearing shoes.

"Hey Hyun. Nice jacket." You said, complimenting his fluffy black and white jacket.

"Thanks. Bought it yesterday." He smiled.

"Where you off to?" You asked him as you took off your shoes.

"There's a party at Sigma house tonight, you guys wanna come?" Hyunjin said, looking up at you while tying his shoelaces.

"No thanks. It's study night." You shook your head. "Besides, you know I don't go to Sigma house anymore."

"Oh right, sorry." Hyunjin sheepishly apologized, remembering the reason why. "You guys should go and have fun sometimes, you know."

"Next time, Hyun. When it's not a party at Sigma house." You rolled your eyes when you said Sigma. You were bitter about it because that's where you met your ex-boyfriend, Christopher Bang. He's a senior and head of the fraternity, everybody liked him, all the guys wanted to be friends with him and all the girls try hard to get in his pants. You thought he was the one but he broke up with you after a month and told you the reason was that your head gamewasn't strong, which offended you to the maximum level.

"Alright. Understandable." Hyunjin chuckled as he went out the front door.

"Did you bring snacks?" Jisung appeared all of a sudden and startled you.

"God, stop sneaking up on me like that!" You yelled.

"I wasn't! Stop drinking too much coffee, y/n. Seriously." He said and walked to their living room.

His study materials were already spread out on the coffee table, leaving a space for you. You brought out the snacks you bought from the convenience store downstairs and then the both of you started with your study session. Jisung was wearing his glasses, oh how he looked super hot with his glasses on. He was hyper-focused, making flashcards and memorizing tables when you, on the other hand, were distracted. You kept checking your phone and saw Chris' Instagram stories. How he's having a blast at the party, making out with girls, drinking, and playing games while still looking fresh as fuck.

"You know, the unfollow button is there for a reason," Jisung said, not even batting an eye toward you as he compiled his flash cards.

"I'm not following him. This is your account." You said. Jisung realized that you were using his phone and quickly took it from you.

Jisung is friends with Chris since high school, but he rarely communicates with him now that he knows what a dick he is. Jisung met you during freshman year. You were seatmates in a majority of the classes you took and that's how you got close. He was also the one who introduced Chris to you but now he's regretting it. He didn't know his friend would be a total jerk during college when he was a mama's good boy during high school but he didn't know the two of you would hit it off anyways and that Chris would break up with you for that pathetic reason, though it smells like bullshit to him because Chris has been sleeping with different women almost every night after breaking up with you. What a total asshole, Jisung thought to himself thinking that Chris has lost a very precious diamond and replaced you with damn rocks.

"Alright, how about we take a break from studying," Jisung said and sat on the couch. "Movie?"

"Ji, it's fine. I can get back in the zone." You said.

"Please, as if I'd believe that. Come here." He said and patted the couch for you to sit beside him since you were still sitting on the floor beside his knee. "We don't have upcoming quizzes this week so we can relax this weekend."

"Who are you and what did you do with Han Jisung?" You sarcastically questioned. Jisung was never one to just skip study night.

"Shut up and pick a movie." He rolled his eyes. You rest your head on his knees, then an idea hit you.

"Ji, can I ask you a favor?" You asked. His ears perked and looked at you. Jisung is your best friend and you trust him even with your life so asking this favor would surely be okay, right?

"Sure, what is it?" He replied.

"You had sex before, right?" You asked him.

"Yeah, a couple of times back then. Why do you ask?" Jisung replied, looking curious.

"This may sound a bit insane, but.." you trailed off.

"But what," he asked, eyes fixated on you.

"Can you teach me how to you know..give a blowjob?" You said and bit your lip and Jisung choked on his own saliva.

"I-uh—what?" He blinked fast. He couldn't believe it, did he hear you right? His brain is currently short-circuiting. You always asked Jisung to teach you or help you with learning a new topic but this wasn't what you usually asked.

"It's okay if you don't want to..I was just—"

"No. I'm cool with it." Jisung held your hand. "It's just that, it's so sudden, and why me? Why a tutorial?" He asked.

"Because I know I can trust you." You said. "You know what Chris said and you're a very good teacher." You hummed and that did something to him.

"Really? If I know, you're just trying to toot my horn so I'll say yes." He chuckled. "And don't believe what Chris says, you know that probably is bullshit." He said.

"No, I'm not. I mean it. And I really want to learn. So what do you say?" You looked at him with sparkling eyes, you looked so adorable kneeling between his legs and there was no way he could say no to that.

"Alright. Sure." He shrugged, trying to look cool when deep inside it was already exciting him. You clapped your hands in delight that Jisung agreed.

"So first, I have to try to get it hard right?" You asked as you reached to palm over his cock.

"Woah!" Jisung flinched. He didn't actually think that you were going to blow him, just that he was just going to give you tips and discuss it.

"What? I have to do it to learn, don't I?" You said.

"Yeah..sorry I was just startled." Jisung chuckled then he mustered up the confidence to try and look cool and calm as he held your hand.

"Before starting anything, it's important to turn the guy on. You're not gonna get anywhere when he's not hard." Jisung started while you listened intently, getting comfortable between his legs. "A makeout session would work out just fine but, you could also palm him over his pants if kissing isn't your thing."

You reached for his dick again, it was only semi-hard. "Like this?" You said as you palmed him through his sweatpants which made him bite his lower lip.

"Y-Yeah.." he sighed.

You could feel his cock grow slowly under touch which gave you confidence. Jisung was looking at your hand touching him inappropriately and you couldn't help but find it cute that you had that effect on him. Then following his tip, you stood up and kissed him which caught him off guard. After all, why do one thing when you could do both? Jisung was quick to return the kiss and cupped your cheek while you continue to palm him feeling him grow at a rapid pace now. You pulled back and gave him a playful smile.

"Was that good?" You asked him.

"So good." Jisung moaned.

"Should I take it out?" You asked although you knew you should you just wanted him to tell you step by step. He shook his head to focus back on reality from being kiss-drunk.

"Y-yes. You can. Now, stroke it gently a few times then I'd prefer if you'd start with kitten licks." He instructed. "Most men probably don't like teasing but I find it hot."

And with that, you lowered his sweatpants, he lifted his hips up for ease. His hard cock sprung free and you were surprised about his size. Talk about real big dick energy. You didn't know it but you were salivating over it that you wanted to just take it right away. You started with kitten licks anyway because that's what he told you he preferred. He let out a small moan once your wet tongue came to contact. You looked up at him to see him looking at you through hooded eyes. You looked so cute giving him small, kitten licks making his dick twitch a little.

"Like it that much?" You smirked then proceeded to take his advice about teasing, you gently ran your hands on his thighs, giving small kisses on his toned stomach and his hips before hovering over his aching cock, giving it a tongue flick before kissing down to his balls. You heard him groan, his dick twitching and started leaking precum as you continue teasing him, not giving his cock the attention it needs.

"Fuck. You're really good at teasing." He grunted.

His praise made you smile and now he deserves to be taken in. You take the head inside your mouth which made him gasp, feeling your warm, wet mouth around his dick was better than what he imagined. He tasted so good in your mouth that it was making you dizzy. You started sucking it softly while you bob your head up and down his cock which made his eyes roll in pleasure.

"Yeah. Just like that, baby." Jisung moaned and brushed your hair out of your face. You clenched around nothing when he called you baby for the first time. You could feel your wetness and it didn't occur to you that pleasuring your best friend would turn you on so much. "You can use your hand if you can't take the whole thing in." He instructed and you followed.

You wrapped your hand around his length and started twisting it in sync with your bobbing. You swirled your tongue around his length and sucked him good. You then picked up the pace which made him a panting mess under your touch.

"Fuck, you're pretty good at this. You got really good head game, y/n. Are you sure you need—ah..a tutorial?" He said and you hummed in contentment of being praised. Jisung was dangerously close to cumming when you hummed around his cock, any more of this feeling, he was sure to explode. He quickly held your hand signaling you to stop. You looked at him with confusion.

"What? I thought you liked it?" You asked him. Your chin all wet with drool from sucking him off.

"Ye-yeah. I really do. It's just that.." He said, avoiding your gaze. "It felt really good I almost..came in your mouth. I think it'd be really inappropriate to just do it without asking."

His cuteness made your heart melt. He stopped you because he was about to cum and he didn't want to because he wanted your consent to cum inside your mouth? Can Han Jisung get any hotter than that? Good Lord, you wouldn't want to miss out on this, making good boy Jisung cum inside your mouth.

"Then cum." You said, eyes looking directly at his as you lower your mouth to his tip. "Cum inside my mouth. Give it to me, all of it."

And with that, you started to suck him off again. Doing everything he's taught you. He looked at you with lust-filled eyes, cheeks in a light shade of red, and his mouth hung agape.

"Fuck, baby. I'm about to cum." He said and gripped the couch. You hummed to encourage him, the vibrations sending him to the edge, then he shot his warm seed inside your mouth, down your throat while letting out a deep, strangled moan and his eyes screwed shut. You swallowed everything because he just tasted so good inside your mouth and you don't know why. You had definitely put him in a state of euphoria as he was sighing in satisfaction and that made you feel happy and confident with your head game now.

"Thanks for the lessons, Professor. Han." You giggled as you wiped your mouth clean with a tissue.

"You know, since you've been such a stellar student, it's only fitting I give you a reward." He gave you a mischievous grin and then pulled you up to sit on his lap, his lips hovering over your ear which made shivers run down your spine. "What do you think about seeing stars?"

↳ reblogs, feedback, & comments are highly appreciated. it motivates me and it is the lifeline of my blog. To everyone who read and left a like, comment, and reblogged especially with text, thank you so much 정말 감사합니다 ♡

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#han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #han smut #jisung smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #han jisung #han jisung stray kids #skz han #skz x y/n #skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours #stray kids han #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz imagines #stray kids imagines

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starillusion13 · 1 year ago

Text

My Muse

Pairing: Hongjoong x f!reader

Genre: Friends to lovers, fluff, College Au

Warnings: orphan (nothing else).

W.C: 3k

Note: Thanks to the people loving my works and supporting them. I love to read your reviews in my dms so feel free to dm me. Thanks for joining the event.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Request from @lunehong

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere

💟

*under the cut*

The university classes are meant to be fun and boring consecutively. Well, how you are experiencing them is depending on the memories you are building for you to remember. The morning classes are always being cursed by you and your friends because of your lazy asses not wanting to leave the bed. The afternoon classes are always tiring to you as you keep telling your friends every five seconds that how hungry you are and might die of this pathetic hunger. The over-dramatic self of yours.

Aside from all these usual aspects of life. There is something else tingling in your life or maybe a someone. University campus is really a vast area with different faces, some you remember and some you don’t. There is one face which always catch your eye is the campus heartthrob, KIM HONGJOONG.

He is the topper of your university and also well known for his charming and intelligence in many other fields like his designs are showcased in fashion department, he has his own composing team for the art and music department and so on. He is the icon for an all-rounder student of this national university. Apparently for being so talented, he is known as the perfect walking man who has come out of every girl’s dream. A perfect man with a pointy nose, flawless attractive features with black brown mullets walks around the campus just like every girl’s dream man has come to reality. Well, you also belong to these girls but maybe a bit more than them.

He is your best-friend.

“Hey! Y/N.” Your cause of suffering has finally arrived while you were just trying to pass through the crowds for next class and avoiding every chance to meet him.

You halted in your path to turn around and face him. You give your brightest smile to him just to get an excited and bright look from him. Those smiling eyes and that smile is the reason for your suffering. He is your best friend since high school and you both were inseparable since then even some people have claimed sometimes you to be a couple which you both waved off by laughing loudly at them or showing them your true friendship and annoying friends both of you can be when together.

This was all fine until the incident happened in the mall last year. You were supposed to go on a date with your boyfriend that day but later that evening you found out the ugliest truth about him cheating on you so you called your first go-to escape, your best-friend Hongjoong to cry your heart out. He without wasting any second time, arrived to your house when he stayed with you whole night just to comfort you and hear about your rantings on everything possible. Next day, he insulted your ex and exposed him in front of the whole campus and that’s when your perspective towards him changed. The friendship between you both started to have some tension of falling it apart. Well, this is only from your side because he still sees you as his best partner for every situation to go through and a perfect best friend.

“Hi, Joong. What are you doing here in this sector of the building now? You probably have the music production meeting with the professors.”

“Ah yes, I still have and will go after meeting you. I came here to ask you whether you are free today after classes or not.”

Hongjoong asking you whether you are free after classes? Oh! He is your best friend so you should not think so afar. It’s just regarding your upcoming exams. Right? He just wants to take all the due notes on the classes he had missed.

“I don’t think anything important is there rather than going home to eat and take a nap.” You both laughed at your reply.

Hongjoong seems to scan his surrounding as if to catch any intruder who is trying to interfere in your little moments. He turned his attention back to you.

“So do you want to hang out with me later in the nearby market or to any place you like. We don’t get much time for us and it’s been so long we have shared our life updates with each other. I miss you.” He tried to give you his puppy eyes and pouty look which you found so cringey that you hit his arm laughing. Other girls would have got heart attacks if he ever done this to them.

“Stop it joong. This does not suite you. You are the dreamy boy of every girl in this campus so you need to maintain your high profile and an attractive image.”

No Joong, please don’t change. I always want you the way you have ever treated me, the way you have only showed me your particular phases that no one has ever seen and will get to see. You can call me selfish but I want all these just for myself and to let you know that Joong I am different from every girl. I am your girl. Maybe just as a best friend at least.

Hongjoong stared at you with an amused glint in his eyes as if he is seeing a comedic scene unfolding in front of him. He always finds your ramblings cute and especially when you are a bit annoyed with something and complaining.

“So, are you not one of those girls as well?” His question caught you off guard for a second but then you played it cool. He is smirking in the wait of your reply.

“Of course not.”

“Why? Don’t you find me cool like they see me?”

“No. You are just my annoying friend who always teases me whenever a boy tries to approach me and then you scare the shit out of that boy.” You looked up a little because of the height proximity to show your glare at him.

He again laughed on your act. “They are not good for you.” His expression suddenly shifted from goofy to dark. His jaw look so tensed and bright eyes are now dark.

“Yeah sure as if you are good for me.” You whispered it so that he cant hear you. You just smiled tightly at him “Thanks for caring but I have to go now and I will then see you in the evening.” You waved at him and with quick steps you went to your class.

“You really can’t see it Y/N right?” Hongjoong chuckled sadly and looked up at the sky.

A blue bird was searching for a shelter moreover a home to protect herself from the upcoming storm.

“Everyone has a home to shelter themselves but I have a shelter but not a home.” He left the scene with a single tear rolling down his eyes.

“Hey Joong, so are we going now?” You are so excited to finally spend some time with your best friend after so long.

“Yes, we are going to your favourite park. Remember the one where we first met? I have got some snacks with me so that we won’t be feeling hungry.”

“Omo how thoughtful you are.” You faked gasped and put your hands on your chest just above your heart. You can feel how fast your heartbeat is even when you are trying to act normal as best friends in front of him.

“So, lets sit by the side of fence, the view will be nice during the sunset and you can click pictures of it to save it for later.” Spring sunsets are always so beautiful and you both like it so much that no matter wherever you are, both of you take your time to cherish it.

Settling down by the side of the fence, both of you are sitting on a outdoor mat with your belongings kept aside and you facing towards the river to take in the beautiful view of the park as its your favorite meanwhile Hongjoong had a quick call with a professor.

“I miss spending time with you here. I still remember how we both met here when one evening your mother was late to pick you up and you were sitting on the bench with a scared face.” You averted your gaze towards the more beautiful view, towards Hongjoong. The boy is smiling at you with his sparky eyes and how bad you want to hug him right now. He is looking perfect under the warm essence of dusk and in the surrounding of spring season.

“Me too….” You replied still mesmerized by his presence beautifully so close to you.

“What happened? Are you thinking something? Are you hungry?” Hongjoong asked you in a very concerned way in which you simply smiled his way.

“It’s okay Joong, I’m okay.”

“Y/N?” his professional deep voice which he only uses when to confront with your exes or meeting anytime for the first time. He never uses that voice to you but maybe you were wrong.

“Hm?”

“You are bothered by something and I can clearly see the effect on your face.” On his remark , you cupped your face with both of your hands and close your eyes tightly to face him with an excuse other than explaining how you feel different meeting him alone now when you see him more than just best friends.

“No Joong, you are just overthinking. It’s nothing like that.”

“Come here.” He is now sitting facing the river with legs resting straight and leaning his upper body on his two arms on both the sides. His face with no expression asking to move towards him. You are sitting with your legs crossed with a towel spread on your legs and eating your favorite snack.

You didn’t understand why is he calling you towards him so you waited for him to say anything further. He extended one of his arms towards you which you gladly accepted with your own. Suddenly he pulled you towards him and make you sit on his thighs. You attempted to complain for his actions because he always does something like this out of his childish acts with you but you find it difficult for you to control your feelings for him in this situation.

You mentally scolded yourself to feel his actions like differently but this was all normal for both of you since childhood. Your questioning look asking him to speak why is he pulling you like this and waiting for him to clarify your thoughts.

“Now tell me Y/N, what is bothering you?”

‘You Hongjoong! What do you think? You are thinking you are helping me in this situation? You are making it more difficult for me.’

You pushed him and run towards the fence and hold them tightly to calm your heart with your eyes closed. It was always so nice meeting him before and spending time with him and ranting about each other’s life but the conditions are no more similar.

You felt someone hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your right shoulder when suddenly he spoke breathily.

“Why are you so easy to read Y/N?” His smiling lips hovering near your neck, this feels make you feel so safe in his embrace.

“What are you saying?” you nearly whispered but still audible for him to hear clearly for so close proximity.

He made you face him by turning your body. Your body resting on the waist level fences and his leaning forward when he put his arms on top of your hands on both of your sides holding the fence.

You looked up into his eyes to understand what does he mean by reading you easily.

“Why don’t you say it directly to me? How long do I need to wait for it?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you pretending not to understand?”

“I- “

“Do you like me?” His expression explains everything that he is not joking at all even he wants a valid reply from you that moment.

“I don’t know…….” You are avoiding his gaze when deep down you know how much you are lying in the moment when you want to hug him tightly and scream how you don’t want to lose him to someone else and make him yours.

“If you can’t say it then let me tell you Y/N, I like you. No wait I love you.” His right hand lifted up to your face to cup the side of your face.

He continues, “You are the reason for my life. I asked you out today not just because I haven’t met you for so long but to finally let out my feelings to you. I don’t know when I started having these feelings for you but I am happy that they are not atleast late.”

“Hongjoong, I have to-“

“Let me say mine first then I will let you to say all your parts.” Maybe he is your bestfriend but he always has this demanding aura whenever he is serious.

“I don’t like when you tell me that boys are trying to hit on you and whenever anyone approaches you with a proposal. I don’t want you to be someone else’s girl. You are my girl. You are my muse. All these designs and songs you see around and the recognition I got from them are inspired from you. It’s all because of you. I never had anyone to call mine as I have been raised in an orphanage till middle school and the family adopted was always too busy to spend time with me and that’s why I always play alone in that park when one day I met you.”

“Don’t you feel afraid of heartbreak if I reject your feelings for me?” You confidently ask him.

“No.”

“No?”

“I know your reply and I wanted you to feel the same for me and that’s why I waited so long just to realize that our feelings are mutual.” He is smiling at you happily which is hurting you more as you still haven’t said about your feelings for him.

“How?”

“Your act of ignoring me when am around. You avoiding eye contact whenever you are telling something private convos. Your jealousy visible on your face and in your actions when girls literally drool over me. Its so simple to read you and trust me I loved it. I enjoyed your possessiveness over me and I want that to feel when we are together not as bestfriends but as lovers.”

“I know….. I have to say you that I like you more you know. You don’t know how much it hurt to see with your classmate roaming around the building and people gossiping you both as a perfect couple when here am left back with feelings for you which I cant even tell you.”

“We are just working on same project you know nothing more.”

“Yes I know but people make up so much stories at some point they hurt you know. I tried to convince myself that I should not feel like that for my bestfriend but I failed miserably each time and fell for you harder.”

Hongjoong hugged you and caressed your back of the head. “Thanks for not giving up on your feelings and that’s why I got the chance to express myself to you.”

“I like you Hongjoong.”

“Oh that’s it?”

“Huh?”

“I love you because you are the poetry to my arts, you are the muse of my life to inspire me to proceed with life in a right way and always being my home but….”

“But?”

“You just like me?.....” He mimicked a sad hurtful expression and you realized what he is referring to.

“Joong! You are playing with me again. Okay listen I love you. Happy?”

“No.”

“Now what?”

“Kiss me.”

“…..Joong”

He gives you a small peck on the lips. “I have to seal the bond when I got the opportunity.”

You hit him on the chest and went towards your belongings on the ground to pack them for you and him. He watches you intently standing there.

“Wont you help me?” you asked him.

“With what?” An amused glint in his eyes and a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

“Hongjoong!”

"Y/N!"

He laughed and proceeded to wrap up everything.

“Y/N? What are we now?” You both have your backpacks on and standing facing each other.

“Bestfriends?”

“But bestfriends don’t kiss.” You become shy when you realised few minutes back Hongjoong kissed you. He comes closer to you and pecks your lips again and then kissing your forehead, he holds you gaze when his hands cupped your face.

“um I am your muse so you are my artist then are we contracted partners?” You joked a bit to calm down your heartbeat. He laughed along with you because the way you were embarrassed with your own joke.

“You are my girl and I’m yours.”

“Mine.” You smiled at him heartily because finally you know you don’t have to lose him to someone else and now, he is completely yours.

Your bestfriend and also your man. Oh maybe your artist, come on you are his muse.

You hugged him tightly which he happily returned you with keeping you in his embrace. Under the thousands of blinking stars in the night sky, there is a beginning of a new love story.

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #cultofdionysusnet #kvanity

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h3artbreakaaaaaa · 1 year ago

Text

Often (REPOST)

Shuri Udaku x Reader

A/n: hey everyone so I’m slowly coming back into my tumblr era I have just been busy with school and stuff. And so I simply was bored and just rewrite this fic and it’s literally one of my favorites I had wrote but I hope you enjoy:)

Warnings/Fluff, Cusring.

You sat at the makeshift vanity you made in your tiny apartment that you could barely afford because of being a poor college student. You were doing some final touches to your hair when your best friend came in “ Are you almost ready “ your best friend said as she watched you do your final touch to your hair as you were brushing your edges out. You then made the first swoop trying not to mess up your quick weave slick back high ponytail, Which you were proud of that you did yourself.“ All I have to do is my edges “ you say annoyed that she was rushing you to get ready knowing that when she did that it reminded you of one person.

Shuri mf Udaku

The princess of Wakanda, but to you she is your ex-girlfriend. You and Shuri were together for a very what felt like forever 2 years. And you always thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with her.

I mean she was perfect she was like an angel to you that you knew would never do anything to hurt you. At least not physically but everything that is gold doesn’t shine but that didn’t mean shit. She was a compulsive liar, staying in her lab “ working “ at ungodly hours. Always leaving In the middle of the night, staying on her phone 24/7, I mean the list goes on and on.

But you stayed because you truly loved Shuri and believed that she could change. And you knew she was going through tough times since the death of her mother and brother so you were patient with her. But that patience ran out very quickly and went into some complete bullshit because each time she made a mistake she would apologize “ I promise I can make it up to you y/n please “ or she would say some shitty ass apology and make it sound believable enough that your heart believed it.

But that was what all you thought when it came to your heart she wouldn’t play with it. at this point, you felt like were completely heartbroken after wasting 2 years of your life on someone who just lied and cheated on you.

You remember vividly the day you 2 broke up. It was about 5 months ago and all you can remember was you wanting to put your foot down in the relationship and maybe come to some type of compromise that could help benefit your relationship.

You walked into the lab and you saw Shuri at her desk smirking and typing on her phone. When she saw you she gave you a look of despair knowing that she told you before not to come into her lab without permission. You always wondered why you needed permission to come into a space where people are only working.

“ y/n,” Shuri said as she looked you in the eye, clearly annoyed with your presence.

“ What did I tell you usana, about coming in here.” Shuri said firmly with her jaw clenched as she was gripping her phone trying to hide the screen away from you.“ You don’t have to hide that you texting your little side hoe’s it ain’t even a secret that you a hoe your damn self!” you scoffed as Shuri then stood up in front of you as her height towered over you.

“ Don’t start that shit right now “

“ Don’t what? Call your ass out “ you yelled as it echoed in the lab while you and Shuri continued to look each other in the eye with obvious rage.

Shuri then gently grabbed your chin as she leaned into your ear “You don’t wanna do this right now usana, so I suggest you stop” Shuri whispered in your ear and then backed up to turn around and go sit back at her desk. She didn’t want to cause a scene in here, especially in front of the other scientists but you didn’t care you were angry and you had an issue you wanted to be handled now.

Before she could even sit down you quickly grabbed her phone and hid it behind your back as she turned around and gave you an annoyed look as she was already irritated. “ y/n/n, I don’t have time for this shit “ she said trying to get her phone back as you continued to hide it from her.

All you can remember was all hell broke loose as you and Shuri started to fight(not physically), and no not over a phone but because of all of the animosity between you too in the relationship. After that Shuri broke up with you as she claimed she was Tired of your “ complaining and whining” all the time. You then walked out of the apartment lobby that you have been living in for the past month since you had to move out of the palace and move back to the States after permanently leaving Wakanda for good not ever daring to look back.

“ Hey girl,” y/b/n said as you got in the car and put on your seatbelt. “ Hey “ you replied as she took the car out of the park and started to drive to the club. It was a silent drive for a little while until your y/b/n broke that silence.

“ you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“ I mean y/n/n I know you haven’t been quite the same since the break up you know.”

“ What do you mean I’m fine”

But you weren’t fine, you were still heartbroken and even though all of your friends said you deserved better were you gonna find someone better? You couldn’t they just weren’t Shuri.

I mean yeah Shuri cheated and was manipulative but you still sometimes liked the way she made you feel and it wasn’t like you haven’t been with anybody since then because you know it wouldn’t feel or be the same. Because Shuri knew you and she knew you and your boundaries it just didn’t feel right to give that to someone else.

Before you knew it you were at the club you and y/b/n got out of the car and made your way inside and you both rushed over to the bar to order drinks. You both sat at the bar and talked as you both waited for your drinks. But then you were soon alone as a guy asked your best friend to dance. You glanced on the dance floor seeing her grind all over this guy, you smiled glad to see that at least she was enjoying herself.

You were never a big fan of going to clubs or partying. You are normally just always focused on school since you attended a local university here in Wakanda. You just then happen to glance up and that’s when you completely froze. You saw a Dora Milaje standing in the corner with a spear in bed and glaring at the crowd making sure nothing was happening.

You knew if you saw a Dora you knew only one person was here.

Shuri

As you quickly looked around you didn’t even realize she was standing behind you. All you felt then was their hand on your shoulder as you turned your head and what met with your ex-girlfriend. She had on black shades and a suit that looked so good on her it made you weak in the knees, Gold rings all along her long fingers and her curls were perfect. She smirked making eye contact with you as you could visibly see the gold grills on her perfect bottom teeth.

She then looked you up and down and licked her lips as she saw the sight of you.“ what are you doing here” you said a little nervous and she could tell as your body had tensed up.

“ Do I make you nervous?”

“ you didn’t answer my question”

“ Listen I didn’t know you were gonna be here but I wanna talk to you alone.”

“ hell no “

“ eh? Is it only because of us”

“ Please y/n I just really need to talk to you,” Shuri said as she now had both of your hands in hers as she was rubbing her thumb gently on the back of your hand.

“ Fine,” you said firmly as you rolled your eyes. But it was only because she looked good as hell.

You stood up and grabbed your purse and phone as you followed Shuri out of the club to get into her car, which was a black and purple Maserati.

She opened the door for you which made you roll your eyes as you got in but you couldn’t ignore the feeling that Shuri was looking at your ass.

You and Shuri walked into the palace and you followed her to your old shared bedroom.

As you were walking through the palace you started to get flashbacks to all the good things at least happened in you and Shuri’s relationship.

When you finally reached the bedroom Shuri held the door open as she let you walk in first before coming in and closing the door behind her.

“ So….” You say awkwardly standing in the middle of the room facing Shuri who was sitting on the edge of her bed.

“ y/n I’m gonna be completely honest I miss you. I miss you.” Shuri said as she took off her shades and laid them on the bedside table.’“ And I know you miss me too “ She said with a smirk wide across her face. You stood there as if you felt like you were going to melt right then and because it was true you did miss her you couldn’t deny it. Shuri then walked closer to you and put her hands around your waist.

At that moment it felt like your whole body was frozen. You knew that you couldn’t take her back after months of your trying to move on would be for nothing. If you had told yourself a couple of months ago you would be in a situation where you could take Shuri back you would do it. But it was like a devil and an angel were on your shoulder one side was telling you to take her back and the other told you to stop her.

But your body didn’t want to move you were stuck because you knew you needed Shuri mentally it was like you couldn’t live without her those months you spent wondering what she was doing forgive her for the times she neglected you had gone away in the one single moment

#black panther wakanda forever #shuri fanfiction #shuri x y/n #shuri x black!reader #shuri is a lesbian #shuri udaku #letitia wright shuri #letitia wright #shuri x reader

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jeskoholic · 1 year ago

Text

A Little Piece of You Chapter 17: The Ideal Girlfriend

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: A Coffee Date

Word count: 5,640

Tags: Male OC, Bestfriend Yujin, College friends, School Convo

Enjoy

“Come on man; I already explained things to you… I don’t have a girlfriend. Don’t be stupid.”

“Oh, is that the really the case?”

“Dawn… I know who you’re talking about and you’re dead wrong. She is just my best friend and there’s nothing else in the middle. I don’t know what made you think about anything about that.”

Dawn chuckled.

“What do you mean, Jae-in? Eve you called her as your ‘girlfriend’ at some point, right?”

“I did that because she’s a girl, right? She’s also my friend, so I think it just makes sense that I warrant myself calling her that. And by the way, I did that because of that one particular time that Shinwon and Kino drank their butts off and started asking stupid questions. I remember answering back at their claims just to make them both shut up. It was my only way out.”

“Well, sometimes things do work out like that especially with Shinwon and Kino. It’s funny how we don’t often see them talking together recently… “

“Hey, I don’t know what’s with you and the rest of UK, but why are y’all putting me in the hot seat now? You have no idea how much of a chore I had to endure with all the questioning from Hongseok and the others. Heck, even Yeri is being added to the mix and I can’t do anything about it. It feels weird that I’m complaining about this now, especially when I was so cool at it a while back but… I guess I was just uncomfortable talking about Soyeon especially to them. I only felt that when I was already relaying what transpired.”

“I don’t know about them… as far as I’m concerned, I just want to everyone else to be happy. I mean, look how well this first official date went with Jisoo. Like I said, if I don’t screw things up, this boat is sailing away smoothly. As a friend, I want those same things to happen to you guys as well, especially you, my man. I can’t even express to you how happy am I knowing my friends are good with Jisoo. It makes my efforts for her more relaxed knowing I have you guys behind me.”

“I’m happy for you man. It turned out to be a good idea that you brought us on this.”

“Wait, Jae-in… I just realized something…”

“Which is…?”

“You know with all of these happening… I’m sorry but I’ll have to introduce Soyeon to the conversation again. Do you mind?”

“Go ahead, I guess. We’re pretty much talking about her already at this point so might as well.”

Dawn scratched the back of his head just as he and Jae-in crossed a street towards a bright shop, of where they proceeded to continue on walking.

“I realized that… it’s been a while since you and Soyeon went dating, or went out, whatever… I just figured, you never introduced her to anyone else rather than the group, am I correct? I’m curious as to how she’d react with Soyeon given her personality is drastically different from most of us.”

“Who are we talking about? Is it Yujin?”

“Of course man, who else could it be? You know how Yujin works and how she’s so picky with stuff, especially those who date you. It’s funny to think how Wonyoung hated her so much back in high school and her predictions never came to fruition. You and Yujin were still friends up to this day. It’s hilarious when I think about how much that hated seeing each other because of you. I wonder how your ex would react once she finds out that you two have gone stronger ever since.”

“I get where you’re going at. Yujin is pretty much very nitpicky on whoever I’m dating, or having an intention to date but she has her reasons. After what happened with Wonyoung, she made sure to have my back ever since. She’s always been the brain in my heart, as I tend to act out of impulse without thought. I would go as far and say that she’s the voice inside my head telling me to think twice about things before heading in, which is exactly why I trust her so much. Also, you know how guys have that hint whenever a dickhead is hitting on a girl with malicious intent? Girls have that too, man, and Yujin’s been the one warning me of everything… well, at least until recently anyway.”

“Yeah, I know that. I just wondered, in case you introduced Soyeon to her… what do you think she’d say about her, then? Do you think she’s going to have the same thought like you did?”

“Knowing Yujin, she’ll be the first person to tell me to back off. All those realizations, all those reasons why I chose to end it with Soyeon… I’m sure she would have seen it coming before I even thought about it. It would feel as if she’d be the one to back off for me while I still can’t get the courage to do so. I don’t know; like I said: womanly instincts. She’d be sure to tease about it to me at some point along that, too.”

Dawn nodded.

“Well, in a way I envy you; girls are pretty hard to understand. At least you have Yujin there to help you out for things, especially on the red flags we guys are normally blind to.”

“I guess so… although with that whole thing with Soyeon, I never really told her anything. Joohyun-noona even knows more than her on this regard… I guess I never really had the chance to tell her as it went on… I just never thought of her as well. With how quiet she is, maybe she’s just really busy recently.

“You know what, come to think of it… I never saw Yujin since the semester began. I guess being on a different engineering department ought to show how dedicated she is compared to us, and how physically and mentally committed she is on school. Then again, I didn’t expect less from a high school top student. At least she’s not spending her weekends going to bars like we do.”

“Jae-in, but I heard that you barely join Kyungsoo and the others when they invite you out. I heard that you’re not even showing up.”

There was a pause, which involved Jae-in giving his friend a joking glare only for Dawn to return it with a smirk.

“Okay, Mr Smart-ass, I know you’re happy. I get it. I’m happy for you as well. I just don’t get why Yujin suddenly got dragged into this conversation out of nowhere. Point is I really haven’t talked to her for a while so she has no idea what’s going on with me. It might surprise her with how much shit I’ve been through without even being halfway across the semester.”

“Maybe that’s the point. I genuinely got curious how come she’s never heard of anything… surprised, even. You got to tell her and catch up, man. You two have been through a lot and she ought to know at some point. In that case, it would be better if it would be from you.”

Kim Hyojong and Yoon Jae-in reached the end path of the long street they have been traversing on. The skies have completely showed its vibrant purple hue as the day succumbed into the incoming evening. As always, Seoul’s bright night life had begun to bare itself amidst the baby steps of the twilight. Shops began to show their innate beauty along with the approaching evening, with Jae-in only being able to realize what he was missing right as he and Hyojong were about to part ways. He stood with his eyes on the marketplace’s humble horizon, its roof carefully etched to match the elegance of the incoming dusk.

Maybe I should. I do kinda miss that chaos of a girl as well.

---

After the grand culmination of Dawn’s plan, it was suffice to say that he had once again become incognito, but I quite expected that. I really could not blame him; after that good enough of a start, he ought to focus all of his efforts towards Jisoo if he really want to make the most out of what has been given to him. Plus, the rest of the United Kwangya have been really confined lately, with the conversations solely existing between the occasional appearances of Ningning complaining about how she constantly forgets her basic maths skills, Kino teasing her about it, Kyungsoo moderating all of them. Yeri and Shinwon became the new love birds of the group effectively replacing me and Soyeon, which was a good thing. Granted, we never really displayed our affection in front of our friends, even if it was just a group chat, but at least the rest of the members attention were focused on them and not us. They didn’t even bother to bring up the topic of Jisoo and Dawn for the rest of the conversations.

Still, there was no word from Soyeon, as expected. It was also rather odd that I don’t see her around campus, be it with Ningning or Kyungsoo even for just a chance encounter. I don’t know if she’s doing that on purpose or we’re really just not allowed to see each other with fate dictating what the best is for both of us.

But I guess I could not complain with that. At least she and I could get a huge breathing room.

With the threat of the exams just being around the corner, I figured I might as well grab the chance to catch up with a long-time friend of mine. Who knows when she’ll be busy again?

I messaged Yujin exactly on that night that Dawn and I went our separate ways. Well, given the really tight schedule of this particular woman, I had to arrange our next get-together after quite a long time. Days passed and it was another weekend, and like how it passed by with Hyojong I found myself on a local bubble tea shop with a rather high, wooden ceiling. It was this small, compact space with a natural vibe echoing off of it with the wooden furniture, floorboards, ceiling, as well as the entire house-like feel of it. The open windows raged from all around, with the rear exit offering a veranda filled with chairs coupled with the breath-taking view of the city.

As much as I love the feel of the wind grazing my face as we’d consume our respective bubble teas, with the length of Yujin’s hair it ought to get to her face at some point. I don’t want to ruin her experience here just because of that, so I elected to pick tables indoors.

“Jae-in, heya,” I heard her voice call from the entrance of the shop’s doorway, appearing all in her youthful presence as she supplied me with an enthusiastic smile. “You finally decided to ask me out, hmmm? Can’t seem to find the perfect fairy for all this?”

Ahn Yujin greeted me on the same way she would almost every time I see her, and that is always with a wide smile over her tall stature. She showed up today with the clear understanding that white was the colour for that meet, having decided to wear a matching white long sleeves and track pants, finished with her white sneakers that fixed the over-all get-up while a folded jacket draped over her arm. Yujin had once again decided to have her bangs, and I think it suited her perfectly. Seeing her on a hairstyle I haven’t seen her do since high school, and especially on this time that I haven’t seen her for a while, it felt so nostalgic and very comforting in a way. It did felt like a relief to see my best friend from highschool looking and glowing so well. I’d lie if I didn’t miss this girl one bit.

“Give me a break, Yujin,” I replied to her as I smirked. “This might be on me but it’s far from being a date. I already ordered and it’s already here for you. I was actually serious when I said that your tea might screw itself up when you come in late.”

“Excuse me, oppa; you’re the one who’s early. I’m just in time. If this tastes bad, I’m going to ask you for another one.”

“I’m willing to bet that it’s not. I made sure to get your favourite.”

“Is that so?” Yujin replied as she rather surprisingly took the space next to me instead of the chair opposite where I was seated. She placed the small hand bag she had with her and brushed her bangs before taking the drink ordered for her.

“You know that there is a chair opposite me, right?”

“Well, I can see that. I can also see that you’re smart enough to pick the couch for yourself. In that case, endure sitting there. At least you have a pretty fairy next to you; that’s not a loss whatsoever.”

“It feels like it’s you who missed teasing me, Yujinnah. It almost makes me feel bad that I treated you out here,” I replied to her as a joke, which immediately earned a slap towards my arm.

“Yah, fine I’ll just stop,” she said and then proceeded to sip from the drink I bought her. “So what’s up with the sudden call, Jae-in? Are you heartbroken again?”

Oh my god… the fact that I know she’s joking but at the same time being so spot on is crazy on itself.

Now it feels awkward to open up because she did it first like that.

“I guess that’s the case then. You’re silence is more than enough evidence for it. Plus, your face says it all,” she concluded before I could even speak.

It’s so hard when someone knows you so damn much.

“Come on now… of course at some point I’m going to have to ask you out for us to catch up. I know how busy your department could get, being stuck on huge Chem books and all. I’m surprised that you even squeezed me into your busy sched.”

“It’s not that hectic, Jae-in, really. Most of you people are pretty much exaggerating when it comes to our study habits as well as our activities.”

“Really…? So everything that I’ve been hearing was just an exaggeration? Is that why I never even managed to bump unto you if it was even just by chance? It’s like we’re not even in the same university, you know.”

“Well… actually… it’s not an exaggeration because it’s an understatement, really. Oh my… you have no idea how happy I am that you asked me out, actually. I’ve never felt so burned out recently. You not being my classmate take a lot of time getting used to.”

“You’re not used to being around that much of a girl circle now, do you?”

“It’s… It’s definitely different. The people I’m with now… I feel like they’re so pigeonholed into the one goal of the degree we’re all pursuing. I get that, but I’m naturally a fun and outgoing person so… having to stay back with them feels really hard, especially when I’m used to being with you and not taking things all too seriously while still making things work out. It feels impossible to do that now. I also kinda miss us walking home together and sharing some street food on the way to the apartment like we did before. I can’t do that now because… I need to be high profile to blend in. It sucks for my wallet, too.”

“Did I mishear you or did you just tell me that you missed me?”

Yujin nearly choked from her chocolate mix as she supressed a laugh. That was not really intentional.

“Maybe I did… this entire thing of us going out felt so refreshing to me. I’m being serious now.”

“Well, if that’s the case… I’m happy that I thought of asking you when I did. I just figured that maybe it was high time for us to catch up on a couple different axes. I also figured things have come really differently on our first semester away from each other. I was wondering how you’re dealing with the change.”

“I don’t think I have to worry about you now, do I?” She said; keeping her keen eyes planted on my drink at the desk. “I heard a lot from Kyungsoo-oppa. He told me that you’ve been hanging out a lot with them at bars every weekend. Is that true?”

“Umm…”

Well, technically…

“If that’s really the case, then I’m really envious. I don’t think I’ve touched a single glass of alcohol since we parted ways…. By the way, what did you order? What’s in your cup? I don’t think I’ve seen that before.”

What?

Yujin’s sudden interest to whatever I ordered really threw me off, but then again she was always like this. I was just starting to take in what was going on with her when she grabbed the drink from my end of the table and brought it closer to her face. Yujin then eyed the contents through the small hole of the straw, even closing her other eye to get a better view at it.

“What flavour is this, Jae-in? I don’t think I’ve tried this out before. It looks like a cookie and vanilla mix.”

“Oh uhh… it’s apparently called a Snow Leopard. I got it because I love cookies and cream flavoured things. It’s good. Try it out.”

With that, Yujin nodded and immediately went off to sip from my straw; her eyes lighting up. She then took her drink and slid it on the table towards my side as if beckoning me to taste the very thing I ordered for her. I casually took the drink and took a sip from her straw and my taste buds were immediately filled with the unusual chocolate flavour. I did not expect less from a triple chocolate mix that Yujin dearly loves.

“Damn… that was an experience. I might try that out for myself some time,” she exclaimed as she returned my drink to my side of the table. “I might have drank a bit so it’s a bit lesser than… yeah. You get it.”

“Don’t worry. I expected nothing less, Ahn Yujin.”

She slapped my arm and in turn smiling towards my direction.

“Well, anyway I’ll head us back to the topic at hand before I got distracted. I heard a lot of deals from Kyungsoo, you know; some of which even surprised me so much.”

“I actually did not expect Kyungsoo to tell you something, but that’s not saying that I didn’t want you hearing about me. It’s not like I’m hiding it or anything. It’s just… I was expecting that you’d know soon but from either Kino or Shinwon, not Kyungsoo. I wonder how that went down…”

“I’ll have you know, it was Kyungsoo who told me because he felt so concerned towards you. He didn’t entirely tell me of everything, because in his head those still deserve to be told by you. All he told me was things have been rough for you lately, and asked me to check on you whenever I had the time. They said you’ve pretty much gone incognito from them, especially recently. I guess when you asked me out for this one, maybe it was a huge deciding factor for me to go as well.”

“So I guess he knew that I’d reach you at some point. He’s not wrong. Be it that I’m reaching you out because I want to catch up on a couple of different matters, there’s no denying that thing have been crazy rough lately, especially the couple last weeks. Let’s just say that I’m dealing with the aftermath of that, as you know it affected me now less than it did with… with someone named Jeon Soyeon.”

“Ah, so that’s her name, huh? Well then, we have all afternoon, Jae-in. Now I’m curious. Tell me the entire thing. Tell me how you and this Soyeon girl ended up, and why you decided to cut ties with her once you felt it was wrong.”

---

The one thing that Jae-in loved so much about Yujin was that she has always been a good listener.

She merely sat throughout the entire conversation, merely giving her best friend the occasional nods and shakes whenever there was an interesting detail with regards to the story, but of course included with that were the extreme reactions from Yujin’s rather expressive face. Given how confident he is with her, Jae-in elected to not only include his insights among everything that happened, but also the details he would normally reserve for himself; that included everything, especially intimate moments. As expected, Yujin gave him a face of alarm. The ghost of that expression seemed to have continued until he reached the latter part of his story.

“Well, I guess you can see now why I ended what was going on between us,” Jae-in said with a clear conclusion. “It’s crazy, right? We haven’t gotten halfway through the semester yet and I already have this on the bag. It speaks too much about how bothered I am with the sudden development.”

“My god, Jae-in… I didn’t expect this to be this involved! You know what, I haven’t met this girl yet and I already do not like the sound of everything. It feels like there’s nothing linking you together aside from your sudden outbursts of hormones, and that’s even trying to call it by the simplest of ways, believe me. You two are just horny, especially during all this.”

“I… I guess so…”

“You know, the fact that it turned out the way it did, it somehow reminded me of your ex. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who felt that, right?”

“That’s… well, most of the reason why I chose to back off largely was because of Wonyoung. Things have been… I don’t even know how to put it out, actually. I just felt that it was wrong to continue because it was something that I never wanted in the first place. It sucks that it even had to go to that degree that it was already too difficult to let her go given the circumstances. At this point, I’m just happy that I pulled it off.”

“As you should,” Yujin replied earnestly. She then proceeded to place her now-empty drink over the table and cross her legs afterwards. “My god, I could not even imagine how much of a sump we’ll have to go through again if she ended up being like exactly like Wonyoung. I would not be surprised if she did. I mean, look at her; she’s pretty much a girl who could get any guy she would like. They tend to get really reactive and loud expressing their feelings but when they don’t get what they want, the results would automatically be a disaster for the guy… for you, Yoon Jae-in.”

“Ummm…”

“Damn, can you imagine how things turned out with you and Wonyoung from before? Do you still remember how she hated me so much just for the fact that you’re my best friend… it’s as if I could do something about that? Hello…? What am I supposed to do? I’m not even wedging myself between you two and she acts as if we’re having sex in the dark.”

Jae-in chuckled.

“I do remember that; of course. We almost never go out together even for a small lunch out because he’s always like a detective watching me all the time. It’s so uncomfortable. I can’t even nod or greet you when we bump into each other while you have Wonyoung walking beside you, Jae-in. One small eye-contact between us, I immediately get a glare from her, Oh my god; I think she wants me to stop being your best friend back then. She wants me to be invisible when you’re around, like what the fuck?”

Jae-in chuckled and Yujin smiled at his reaction.

“You know, Yujin, now that I’m openly talking about this, that’s pretty much how it turned out before. You know how Wonyoung and I always argued about you; that she’s threatened of our friendship given how our relationship developed from us initially being best friends as well. She always thought that at some point, I’ll give her up for you. I’m pretty sure that it did happen, you know; I chose you as my best friend instead of sulking on our doomed relationship anyway.”

“Jae-in, hearing all this from you makes me want to go out and eat lunch with you, but not a normal one. We should make sure that Wonyoung sees it as well, just so we can show her how our friendship thrived further the moment that she was out of the picture. I want to show her that a guy and a girl could be friends without falling for each other.”

“You… you talk as if we didn’t really try to make something else out of this,” Jae-in remarked calmly. “In a way, we’re not really a good example for that, all things considered.”

“Well, the keyword was we DID try to make something out of it. It just didn’t feel right. I never thought that I’d ever be awkward to you, and I don’t want that one week of attempted dating to happen again between us. We’re soul mates Jae-in, and maybe that means that we’re destined to be the best of friends since the very beginning.”

“If you put it out that way, it makes me feel so happy that we chose friendship instead of making something impossible out of this one. You always had my back, Yujin. I’ll always be grateful for that”

“We didn’t work out, Jae-in, because I know that I’m not really your type,” Yujin said with a tone of humour, covering her mouth with her hand in the process. “And that’s okay for me, you know. I have no problems with it.”

“Wait, wait, that’s interesting, since you brought it up, what do you think my type is, exactly? What does Ahn Yujin think of Yoon Jae-in’s ideal girl and that is in terms of a lot of factors. Let’s hear you enumerate everything.”

“Ahh, so we’re in that stage now, hmm?” Yujin said before shifting her place on the couch and then rubbing her palms together. “Now this is interesting. Are you asking this from me so that you can confirm the similarities with what I’m about to say?”

“Maybe… or perhaps I could get an idea because I felt like I haven’t been running standards for a long time. It doesn’t have to be so complex, and you can base it on the previous people I’ve taken a liking on.”

“Well, I can’t do everything because we might take all afternoon… how about three?”

“Fair. Let’s do that.”

“Good enough. Well for starters, girls that are way too feminine do not pique your interest in any way, Jae-in. I’m pretty sure you are aware of that. You don’t like the typical text-book reserved, campus-crush kind of deal. You don’t like girls who are very well known because they are using fame to be something else. I get that it’s not that bad, but you’re not just into it because it feels fake. Does that make any sense?”

“It’s not something I would expect to come from you but I think I can understand it.”

“Good. Next, you’re more into people with strong personalities, which conflicts the other interest I just mentioned. I don’t know, but there’s a thin line between people you like who are have a very strong presence but not being over-all too feminine and vulgar about at the same time. I can get understand it in my head but I can’t find the words for it. I’ve been you friend for so long and I think I can understand it without words. I mean, I’ve met some people who were so timid and shy on the face value and yet they’re much defined once you get to know them. It’s kind of like that.”

The fact that she knows so much about me, up to this degree is somehow amazing and scary at the same time. It makes me wonder if I’m that much obvious whenever I’m with her.

But then again, maybe I am. I’m just that comfortable when I’ve with Yujin that I don’t seem to mind what kind of stories I spill to her. This conversation was way more yielding than I thought.

“Now for the last one, this one feels more like an observation from my end but somehow attracted to mature girls. It does not necessarily mean that you’re into girls that are older than you, but often enough age is often associated with maturity so I guess things tend to curve that way when it’s all said and done. It correlates. I guess there’s that sense of security that you get when it comes to people like that. In a way, it perfectly concludes all of the points I’ve stated previously.”

“I don’t think that… that it’s entirely true for Wonyoung. I mean, our ages are not that far apart you know.”

“Honestly, Wonyoung or even the Soyeon girl does not fit any of the traits I have mentioned. That explains why it was not a surprise that you decided to cut it off. On Wonyoung, I could understand, because at least you two developed from friends, but for the Soyeon girl, I guess it was pretty self-explanatory.”

“I guess so… I suddenly became conscious of the traits you mentioned, you know. I can’t bring myself to not consider them the next time that I take a liking into someone…”

“And you should, so that you won’t just fall on someone who barely even fits your standards. At least by then you’d be able to sort things out for yourself. I get it, Jae-in; love is one huge trial and error, but how many errors are you planning to bust through that you’ll finally let yourself loose for the world, hmm?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Jae-in, you’re a very soft, kind-hearted person and that’s about one thing that I really love about you. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the first one who said that, but on times like these it’s working against you. You need to learn when to say ‘no’ and keep you standards to yourself, because at the end of the day you still need to look after yourself. Can’t date ever girl in the world to find out if you’re compatible or not, right?”

“I’m trying to keep that in mind, Yujin… it’s just that with this Soyeon situation, I let it unfold to a painfully hard situation to get out of before I even began to make a move. It’s a mistake I don’t intend to do again.”

Jae-in sat there in silence, keeping his gaze peeled towards the empty drink he had in front of him. He may have stayed in that state for so long that Yujin grew concerned. There was a sudden, surprising sensation from his left side, only for it to be revealed to be from Yujin’s end. Somehow through the silence, she placed her hand over his as an act of affirmation and assurance. She then clasped it, making sure that Jae-in felt the presence of her then and there.”

“Don’t think of it badly, Jae-in. I’m not blaming you for everything that happened to you. In fact, I really admire your courage for being honest to the girl. No one should take away the emotions you battled while you’re at it, as well. Also… as much as I’m trying to force these sorts of ideas unto you, in the end we’re still human beings. Things could not be bound ideally, as they say.

“Finding a perfect person definitely involves a bound of luck as well as a good stroke of fate. You’ll never know when you’ll meet her, or if you’ve even met her already. The range of your destiny could be someone you’ve already spent a long time being with to someone you accidentally tripped over on the way home. It’s easier once you let your heart welcome it instead of your mind.”

I honestly don’t know if she’s aware of the mixed messages she’s sending about. However, there’s no denying that things like this are pretty hard to understand. In fact, a woman’s heart is hard to understand, as I heard someone wise once said.

“Sorry, I got carried away,” Yujin said finally, returning them both back to earth once again as she shook her head. “We should go, Jae-in; we’ve stayed so long here that we’re already hogging the best seat in the entire shop. Besides, I want to walk the park for a bit if you’re game. Shall we?”

And with one final nod, Jae-in agreed. The preparation to leave was as quick as the decision to do so with Yujin being the first one to head on off for them both. However, as Yoon Jae-in and Ahn Yujin walk towards the wide doors of the welcoming shop, the young man was dazed with the apparition of their final conversation; clearly curious as to what kind of destiny the future holds for a guy like him.

He has a feeling that fate would confirm his destiny very soon.

---

Next Chapter: Black Swan

#kpop series #kpop story #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #ive yujin #gidle soyeon #jang wonyoung

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multi-kpop-fanfics · 1 year ago

Text

Remember When

pairing: vernon x fem!reader (ft. Chan, Seungkwan, Jeonghan, Jihyo, Dahyn)

genre: fluff, comedy, angst, suggestive, childhood friends to lovers to exes(?)!AU

warnings: alcohol consumption, unresolved feelings, mentions of political beliefs, propaganda, bullying, violence, cursing, anxiety

word count: 10.5k

summary: growing up in the suburbs of Athens during the seventies was turbulent to say the least - but is it turbulent enough to break the backyard trio friendship? only time could tell.

Author's note: This is my entry for the 70s;teen collab hosted by @svthub! It is based on my all time favorite greek TV show Τα Καλύτερά μας Χρόνια (alt: Remember When, Our Best Years), which takes place in the 70s and very early 80s.

p.s. 1: this fic ate my soul, spat it out and put it in the blender to repeat the process.

p.s.2: a HUGE thank you to @playmetheclassics for beta reading this monstrosity ;-;

Character introduction:

Vernon: The main character of the story and one third of the backyard trio.

Chan: Vernon's childhood best friend and one third of the backyard trio.

Seungkwan: Vernon's childhood best friend and one third of the backyard trio.

Y/N (fem!reader): Vernon's childhood friend and classmate.

Jeonghan: Vernon's older brother.

Jihyo: Vernon's older sister.

Dahyun: Chan's girlfriend (introduced later in the story).

Stelios: The father of the family (name taken directly from the TV series)

Mary: The mother of the family (name taken directly from the TV series)

©multi-kpop-fanfics, 2023. No reposting allowed. No translations allowed without permission.

August, 1970.

“Hnngh……”

“Mmmphhh…”

“Gah, I can’t keep it up anymore!”

“Ding ding ding! Vernon is the winner!” Seungkwan announces the result, “He was able to hold out for longer. Chan, hand me over your cards. I need to count them.”

Vernon checks his biceps, a proud smile on his face.

“Have you noticed any change?” Seungkwan asks.

“Yeah! My biceps have gained more volume!”

“Why do we call them biceps? They look like uncooked chicken wings.”

“They look exactly the same as yesterday and last week to me,” Chan squeezes Vernon’s arm, “All this sweat was for nothing!”

“It takes time and a lot of dynamic exercise to build up muscle.” Vernon rolls his eyes. “It’s clearly written in the magazine as well.”

“Anyways, at this stage, you’ve managed to win a super rare Pelé card, the footballer who scored his 1000th goal last year! He’s an amazing player.” Seungkwan hands the card to Vernon, who is ecstatic to add this newfound treasure to his collection.

“A rare Pelé card? I don’t have that one.” Another boy sneaks behind Vernon and steals the card.

Ah, Ares. The new kid in the school and the one who has taken up the bully role.

“Hey, give it back!” Vernon tugs at the flimsy paper until it’s torn in half.

“Aw, your little card is all torn up now.” Ares mocks him.

“You’re stupid and mean another word my brother has taught me, but I can’t say it!”

“What did you say?” Ares pushes him onto the ground and starts hitting him, but Vernon tries to fight back, kicking his feet to hit the other kid.

“Ares! There you are!”

The high-pitched voice attracts the attention of both boys, the owner of the voice being none other than Helen. AKA, Vernon’s crush.

"I've been searching for you." She crosses her arms in front of her torso. "Can we go now?"

Ares spares her one glance before he punches Vernon in the eye, leaving him on the ground with a fresh bruise as he walks away with the young girl.

Helen briefly looks over her shoulder at Vernon, but Ares pulls her by her arm to follow her until they disappear from the backyard.

It's not long before Vernon returns home, sitting right next to Jeonghan, who has a similar bruise as him.

"I seriously cannot believe both of you are years apart, yet act the same!" Stelios reprimands both sons.

"Can you stop shouting for a second?" Jeonghan grimaces.

"And what do you want me to do? Sit around and congratulate my kids for getting bruised up? I can accept a nine-year-old kid being immature, but you? You're supposed to be studying to be a lawyer, not running away from the cops with a girl!"

"Stelios!"

"Mary, that's enough!"

"No, you stop it!" Jeonghan roars, "There was no way I'd let the fucking cops arrest us!"

"Can you be realistic for once?"

"No, I prefer being idealistic."

"Idealists cannot survive in a world where dictatorship exists!"

"That's why we try to overthrow the goddamn dictatorship, Dad! Not that you could ever understand since your best man is literally in cahoots with them!"

Jeonghan angrily storms off the living room and heads straight to the bedroom, Vernon scurrying off right after.

The boys remain silent on their respective beds, save for a few hisses coming out of Jeonghan’s mouth. He rummages through his jacket to seemingly find something necessary to him.

“What are you looking for?”

“Beeswax ointment.”

“What is that?”

“It’s an ointment that helps your skin when it’s bruised. Now come over here so I can put some on your eye.” Jeonghan opens the small tin jar, and Vernon sits on his brother’s bed.

“Ew, that stinks!”

“Shut up, sprout. I’m doing this for your sake!” Jeonghan carefully swipes a small amount of the beeswax on the boy’s eye.

“Where did you get that from?”

“Martha gave it to me.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

“Not exactly…”

“She’s your girlfriend then!”

“Shh! Don’t shout!” Jeonghan puts his hand over Vernon’s mouth. “I can’t have Mom and Dad yelling about this again!”

“Is she against the dictatorship, like you?”

“Even more than me, given the fact that her dad is part of it.”

“Were you together at the protest?”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan sighs, “I got punched by a cop while trying to protect her, but she didn’t seem to like that.”

“I got punched by a guy in the backyard because he’s hanging out with the girl I like,” Vernon admits.

“Is that why you’re reading all these dumb magazines about body growth and exercise?” The older sibling chuckles.

“They are not dumb! They will help me get bigger and impress Helen so I can win her back!”

“Okay, okay, lil mister! No need to be so dramatic.”

No matter the teasing remarks, Vernon is dead set on building muscle and transforming his body to win the girl of his dreams back.

“What do you mean he’s trying to build up his body?” Sir Nick raises his eyebrow.

"Vernon asked his dad to fill some tin cans with mud and stick them to metal bars," Chan says.

"He's definitely doing this for a woman." The older man fixes his glasses.

"He's salty about losing Helen to Ares, but we aren't supposed to know that."

"Love is full of hardships and abandonment, young lads," Sir Nick reads from his magazine, "It's written clearly in the books!"

"This isn't a book, this a magazine," Seungkwan replies, "And a women's magazine at that!"

"It is condensed wisdom, you uncultured twats!"

"At least girls aren't paying attention to us."

"But what about when we grow up? Then we'll definitely be in trouble, especially me, who's gonna be very handsome like my dad." Chan shrugs.

"You two are supposed to stay away from temptations like proper scouts!" Sir Nick reprimands them. "And the biggest of them all are none other than the spiders-"

"Women!"

"Exactly! Even the bible is full of them - they are the pinnacle of temptation!"

“Yet Vernon is willing to change himself for one.” Seungkwan pouts.

A week later, the trio regrouped in the familiar backyard where Ares is seen with Helen sitting on the edge of the old truck.

“Are you sure you’re just gonna take him head on? He’s taller than you!” Chan whispers.

“He gave you a good beating last time too…” Seungkwan adds with a defeated expression.

“I wasn’t as strong as I am now! Besides, none of you tried to back me up last time!” Vernon retorts.

“We won’t back down this time, though!”

“You better!”

They approach the truck with bravery, noticing how Helen nudges Ares who turns his attention to the trio.

“You came for another round of beating? Wasn’t last time enough for you?” He picks up a twig and swings it back and forth.

“You’ll be the one to get beaten this time!” Vernon yells and picks a twig of his own from the ground, running towards Ares.

He catches the taller boy off guard and successfully tackles him on the ground, the rest of the trio ganging up on him.

“Say you surrender! Say it!” Vernon points his twig at Ares.

"Fine! I surrender! I'm sorry for hitting you last time!"

Vernon lifts his head and looks at Helen. She flashes him a toothy grin, and he reciprocates it with excitement.

He won.

November, 1971.

“A newspaper?” Helen asks.

“Yeah, like the ones Sir Nick is selling!” Chan chirps.

“And what are we gonna write in them?” Helen asks

“We could write about the things happening in the neighborhood!” Seungkwan adds.

“That’s boring,” you scoff, “The grown-ups can just talk with each other and learn everything.”

“And that’s where we come in,” Vernon straightens his back, “We can spy on them and dish out their secrets!”

“Are you crazy?! We’re gonna get yelled at by everyone!” Helen whines.

“If you don’t want to participate, then you’re free to walk out of this,” Vernon shrugs, “No one is stopping you.”

“Okay, even if we do manage to find interesting topics to write for, how are we gonna print the actual newspaper copies?” You cross your arms in front of your chest.

“That’s a secret,” he smirks, “But my sources are well-trusted, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“That makes it even more suspicious, Vernon.”

“Again, if you don’t trust me, you can walk out of this while it’s still early!”

"Even if we don't, what are we even supposed to be doing?" Seungkwan tilts his head.

"Easy - You guys will be the reporters, and I'm gonna be the chief editor who publishes the newspaper!"

"That sucks! Why can't I be the chief editor?!" Chan grimaces.

"Because I was the one who had the idea in the first place!" Vernon replies.

"Okay, okay, no need to fight. You can keep the role of the chief editor! But if we get caught by the headmaster, you’re gonna get the entire blame!” The rest of the group point at Vernon. And one by one the kids disappear, save for Chan who asks him, “Are you sure about this? We could get in serious trouble…”

“I’d rather get into trouble for defending myself and speaking my mind, rather than just messing up on tests!” Vernon stands his ground.

"Did your brother teach you that?"

"My sister, as well! If she hadn't stood her ground, she wouldn't have become an air hostess."

"Wow, you really have a rebellious family after all."

---------

A few days ago….

“Tell me what that thing is!” Vernon pulls his brother’s sleeve.

“I cannot! I’m supposed to keep it a secret, you damn sprout!” Jeonghan loudly whispers.

“Aha! It’s a printing press, isn’t it?”

“Shh! Shut the fuck up, nobody should know I have one of these!”

“Is it because they are banned?”

“That’s one way to put it - But it’s because we use them to print papers against the propaganda created by the dictators,” Jeonghan explains.

“What is propaganda?” Vernon asks, intrigued by the word.

“It’s a tactic used by governments to make people believe they are doing good things for their country, while in reality, they are just trying to gain more power - Basically, they are trying to change the people’s opinions to fit their narrative.”

“So, it’s like they are taking the people’s brains, throwing them in the washing machine, taking them out and putting them back in the people’s heads?”

“Yeah, that’s a good analogy!” Jeonghan pats his brother’s back, “Now that you know everything, keep your mouth shut, and nobody is gonna get into trouble.”

“And what if I want to use the press for a newspaper as well?”

“There’s no fucking way you’re gonna do that, sprout.”

“If you won’t let me use it, I’m gonna tell Mom and Dad everything!”

“You little fucker-” Jeonghan grits his teeth, “Fine, you win! But you better keep your promise. Otherwise I’m gonna burn all your football cards.”

“I always keep my promises, big bro.”

“....What do you even want the press for?”

“I want to publish a newspaper, like the leaflets you put around law school with your friends!”

“These aren’t just leaflets. They send serious anti-junta messages! Plus, do you really want to make yourself a target at the age of ten?”

“But I’m not gonna put the content you put in yours! I just want to write the news of the neighborhood!”

“Hey, I’m serious!” Vernon punches Jeonghan’s arm. “I even want to have my own reporters!”

“Reporters, huh?”

“Yeah, they’ll be hiding around the neighborhood and be on the lookout for juicy topics!”

“That’s just paparazzi work, sprout.”

The newspaper copies were indeed printed out and distributed on every single corner of the Gkyzi neighborhood - after an entire week of the group hiding around in public spaces to observe and eavesdrop on the grown-ups and elders.

It most definitely caused a ruckus around the residents since many secrets were out in the open, and many misunderstandings were caused - along with the school’s headmaster having to deal with aggravated parents.

It wasn’t long before the headmaster found out who the culprits were, and it definitely wasn’t a nice situation.

“What was even going on in your brains when you came up with this stupid idea?!”Stelios yells.

“We just wanted to make a newspaper like the ones you read!” Vernon defends himself.

“The newspapers we read include politics and finance, not if the food of the local tavern is poisoned!” “But everyone who ate those Cretan snails went to the hospital right after!”

“That was a one-time thing!” Mary almost pulls at her hair, “This could have easily dealt a fatal blow at the poor man’s business!”

“But-”

“No buts! You messed up big time, and you have to make up for this - you’re grounded for the rest of the month!”

“That’s unfair! Grown-ups are unfair!” Vernon yells and rushes to his room, slamming the door behind him and hiding under the blankets.

So much for trying to look smart, is all he thinks before tearing up.

February, 1972.

“Chan is still gone, is he?”

“Yeah, a lot of family trouble lately.” Vernon throws another stone towards the red bin. “He must feel terrible now that his parents are giving all of his attention to his younger sibling.”

“Thank God I have no siblings then,” Seungkwan huffs, “That would have been very draining.”

“Helen disappeared as well. Do you think something happened to her?”

“Nah, girls are cunning. They can escape things like spiders,” Seungkwan shrugs, “By the way, what are you gonna dress up as for the carnival? I’m gonna dress up as a soldier!”

“I’m gonna dress up as a cowboy, like the ones in Bonanza.”

Despite the calm discussion about their upcoming carnival activities, something was bugging Vernon about his friend’s lengthy absence. It wasn’t usual for Chan to be away from the trio, as it felt like the balance was disrupted.

The carnival celebrations would soon arrive at the neighborhood of Gkyzi, the concrete buildings dressing up in confetti and carnival masks hanging from the door frames.

The residents have all chosen their own carnival costumes - some of them decided to play safe by dressing up as a famous celebrity, and others chose to unleash their inner animal (literally).

Seungkwan and Vernon held up to their end and indeed showed up as a soldier and a cowboy, respectively.

“What do you need the binoculars for?” Vernon raises his eyebrow in question.

“Don’t be dumb. All great soldiers have binoculars to watch the enemy from afar!” Seungkwan holds them up, “Plus, you can see what other people are doing without getting caught.”

“Lemme see.” Vernon snatches them from his friend, putting them on his eyes to spy on other people.

“What do you see?”

“Uh… a gorilla chasing Marilyn Monroe…..My sister dressed as a wildcat… Bah, that’s boring!”

“Hey, I wanna see too!” Seungkwan grabs his binoculars back and starts scanning the area again, but it ends abruptly after witnessing something very disheartening.

“What’s with the long face? What did you see, Kwan?”

“Nothing.”

“Seungkwan!”

“I told you, it was nothing!”

Vernon steals the binoculars once more and focuses on the spot Seungkwan did a few seconds ago, anger overcoming his facial features as he sees Chan playing with Helen around a tree, gingerly holding her hand.

“Traitor.”

“I’m sorry, Vernon-”

“It’s not your fault, Seungkwan. He’s the one who should apologize for stealing my girl.”

He wishes Sir Nick had taught him about the pain of betrayal by a best friend, aside from the Boy Scout principles, because nothing had prepared him for this.

It’s not long before a piece of cardboard is hanging from the back on the abandoned truck, “traitors and girls are not allowed”, written with bold red crayon and a ton of grammatical errors - dictation was never Vernon’s forte.

March 25th, 1972.

It’s been roughly a month since Vernon saw Chan playing with Helen and the two boys haven’t spoken since then.

Despite the celebratory atmosphere of the day, he’s far from happy himself - there’s a consistent frown on his face, one that stays on even now, all while he’s trying to fix the tyre of his wooden cart.

“Are you still mad at your friend, sprout?” Stelios asks and Vernon nods.

“I can understand how you feel, but you’re still a kid - Not to mention that Chan is your best friend.”

“But he stole my girl!”

“Hasn’t Sir Nick taught you about the meaning of friendships and forgiveness?”

“Sir Nick constantly talks about women acting like spiders,” Vernon pouts, “But nothing about betrayal!”

“Listen here, kid.” Stelios tightens the cart's tyre. “It won’t be long before Chan comes back to you and asks for your forgiveness.”

“How do you know that, Dad?”

“We’ve all been through similar situations when we were kids,” he reminisces about his childhood with a small smile. “And what I’ve learned is that deep down, nobody wants to sacrifice their friendship for ephemeral flings, no matter how old you are.”

Stelios sets the newly fixed cart on the asphalt, patting it on the driver’s seat.

“Come on, won’t you go for a ride with your trusty car?”

“Thanks, Dad!” Vernon excitedly jumps into the seat and rolls out to his destination - his beloved backyard.

He’s surprised when he sees you sitting on the edge of the truck, but he doesn’t mind your presence - in fact, he’s starting to get used to it, even if he’s still salty about losing the car race to you.

“Hi Vernon.”

“Hi Y/N.”

“You were really good at the school celebration today,” you swing your legs back and forth, “Your poem was nice too! Mine was kinda boring.”

“I don’t think it was boring,” Vernon replies. “You recited it nicely.”

Suddenly, the both of you hear footsteps from afar and you soon see Chan appearing in the backyard, out of breath.

“Go away, you traitor!” Vernon yells.

“Let me explain!” Chan pants out. “I don’t want to have a girlfriend anymore! I want my best friend back! She’s unbearable!”

“And why should I believe you - Ow!” Vernon groans as you nudge him on the sides.

“I don’t want to be with Helen, I want to play with you and Seungkwan again! Sir Nick was right. Women are like spiders!”

Chan kneels on the ground, not hesitating to soil his clothes in order to show his regret.

You nudge Vernon again, nodding towards Chan’s direction.

He jumps down and walks towards his friend, kneeling down in front of him and giving him a tight hug.

“I missed you too, buddy.” Vernon giggles and softly headbutts Chan, finally making peace with his best friend.

June, 1973.

“Are you seriously going on a date with Y/N?”

“I can and I will! I’ve even written a letter for her.” Vernon shows the folded piece of paper.

“And you’re just gonna give it to her?!” Chan’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Of course not, you dumbass! I will ask for help from Sir Nick. He always knows best.”

“Why do you even want to go on a blind date with her? She doesn’t even like you!” Seungkwan rolls his eyes.

“That’s what you think! I’m sure that behind her tough act, she’s madly in love with me - all women act like that before the first date.”

“Who even told you this?” Chan raises his eyebrow in question.

“Sir Nick, obviously! And the pocket-sized book he gave me to read.”

“Wasn’t that a romantic novel for women?” Seungkwan grimaces.

“Well, yeah, but it helped me write the letter, so it works for me!” Vernon grins, “Gotta go now. I have a mission to accomplish.”

“Tell us how it goes!”

“Will do!”

Vernon leaves in a haste and runs towards the newspaper stand to find Sir Nick.

“Good morning Sir!”

“Hello there Vernon! What brings you here today?”

“I wanted to tell you to take a look at a letter I’ve written.”

“A letter? Destined for whom?”

“Y/N! But she doesn’t know I’m the sender, because I intend to meet her on a blind date.”

“So you’re really into her, huh?”

“I know we won’t be in the same school starting from September and I want to take my chances.”

“Ever the brave boy scout. Bravo!” Sir Nick applauds the boy, “Now give me the letter.”

Vernon hands over the letter and sits next to the older man, waiting for his approval.

“So, here we go.” Sir Nick puts on his glasses and unfolds the letter.

Hello Y/N,

You may not know who I am, but I am sending you this letter to tell you that I want to see you before we part ways this autumn.

I will wait for you this Sunday in front of the neighborhood cinema. I will be wearing a knitted yellow beanie and neat clothes.

I look forward to the moment I’ll bring you into my arms and hold you close to me.

Sincerely,

your secret admirer.

“Well well, I’m impressed! Especially with the last sentence.” Sir Nick removes his glasses and puts them in the front pocket of his shirt.

“I took it from the pocket-sized novel you gave me! I thought it would suit the message nicely.”

“It definitely does! Now what else do you want me to do?”

“Is there a way to deliver the letter to Y/N without her finding out it’s from me?”

“Youngster, you’re talking to a former scout and military soldier. It’s a piece of cake for me!”

As if on cue, you walk down the street and stop right outside the newspaper stand.

“Hello Sir Nick! Hey Vernon!”

“Good morning Y/N!”

“Is the new issue of Manina magazine here?”

“Of course!” Sir Nick goes behind the stand to search for the magazine and hides the letter inside it, “Here it is! It will be twenty drachmas.”

“Thank you! Have a good day sir!” You take the magazine and walk away.

“What now?” Vernon watches you from afar.

“Now we wait. She will notice it soon enough.”

Sir Nick is proven correct as the letter falls from the magazine and it definitely catches your attention. You step aside and sit down on the pavement to read through the letter, checking your surroundings for any suspects.

"See? Told you she would notice!"

"Let's hope she will actually appear on the date."

"I'm sure she will, lad."

Vernon keeps spying on you from afar as you keep reading his letter and an idea pops into his head, making him rush back to his friends immediately.

"Guys!"

"What's up? Did Y/N get the letter?" Seungkwan asks.

"She did, but I need to make sure she will come on the date!"

"What does that have to do with us?"

"I need you two to be my spies!"

"You want us to spy on Y/N?!" Chan almost falls on the ground.

"Don't shout, you dumbass!" Vernon shushes his friend. "All I want you to find out is how she feels about the letter. I'm sure she's already on the way to talk about it with her friend!"

"He has a point," Seungkwan ponders, "But I'm not very good at spying on people. My mom always catches me whenever I try to steal cookies from her jar."

"I guess it's up to me then." Chan sighs as he cleans his glasses and gets up, “Thank God I’ve read lots of comics with spies.”

“Oh God, this won’t end well.” Seungkwan facepalms.

Surprisingly, Chan was really good at it. He managed to remain undetected all while trying to find out your true intentions about the letter and the blind date.

“Vernon!” He comes running to the backyard.

“What’s the rush, Chan? And what….are you wearing?”

“Oh, this? It’s my spy attire! Cool, right?” Chan flexes his black coat and sunglasses,

“Ugh, just tell me what you found out!” Vernon stomps his feet on the ground.

“Y/N accepted the invitation!”

“Really?!”

“Yeah! Although she did say that guys who write letters like yours are most likely ugly.”

“Sounds exactly like something Y/N would say.” Seungkwan snickers.

“That’s just one more reason for me to do my best for the date!” Vernon straightens his back and puffs out his chest.

Sunday night comes around and Vernon is standing outside of the cinema, fixing his yellow beanie and the bowtie around the collar of his shirt.

He has already bought two tickets for the Papillon movie and now waits for you to appear.

A couple of minutes later, you walk up to him and you scan his entire outfit.

“Hey Vernon. What are you doing here?”

“I don’t think I have a lot of explaining to do…”

“You’re wearing a yellow beanie….Did you send the letter?”

“Yeah, that was me.”

“Why did you have to go through this hassle?” You ask.

“That’s because….We won’t be able to see each other on a daily basis, since I’ll be attending a boys’ middle school.”

“That’s nonsense! We will never part ways, because we’re buddies!”

“Yeah, but….This is supposed to be a date…” Vernon scratches his head.

“Did you buy tickets for the movie?”

“I got one for you and one for me.”

“Why not three?”

“Three? Who’s the third?”

“Chan! He’s right there!” You point towards the trees and Vernon mentally curses his friend, who appears from the shadows like a Matrix character.

“Hi guys…”

“Hi Chan! Do you want to watch the movie with us?”

“Uh, yeah….Sure, why not?” He replies and Vernon throws him a nasty glare.

“Great! Let’s go to the vendor, there must be more tickets left!” You exclaim happily and go to buy a third ticket.

“What are you doing?! You’re not supposed to be here!” Vernon angrily whispers to his friend.

“I’m sorry! I was worried about you and I wanted to make sure everything would go well! I had no idea she would notice me!” Chan tries to defend himself.

“...Some top-class spy you are.”

July, 1974.

“I can’t believe I have to keep the splint on for almost the entire summer. That sucks!”

“Hey, at least our parents agreed about me coming with you, so it won’t be terrible!” Chan grins.

“And what exactly can you help me do?”

“I can be your butler! I have read about them in comics - they know their bosses' secrets and always take care of them.” He pulls out a pair of gloves from his pocket. “They even wear gloves, like these ones!”

“Okay, mister butler, help me get up.. These crutches are almost as tall as me.”

“If only Seungkwan could spend the summer holidays with us as well…” Chan pouts.

“I don’t think his mom would have let him come either way.” Vernon supports himself on the crutches with his friend’s help. “Besides, he’s probably swimming in the sea of an island right now, so definitely a better choice than my dad’s village!”

“Not to mention that he would have to put up with you and your broken leg.”

“Shut up, Chan! I don’t like it either!”

“It must really suck to have a splint during summertime, though.”

“You have no idea.” Vernon balances himself on the crutches, “I wish I hadn’t joined you in that football match in the backyard.”

“But we would have lost without you!”

“Yeah, but I made myself a fool in front of Y/N!”

“She only sees you as a friend! Didn’t you learn your lesson last summer?!”

“I can’t say you are wrong…”

“What if you meet a girl here? What if she’s prettier than Y/N?”

“There’s no way it will happen!”

“Fine, if you say so,” Chan shrugs, “Anyways, enough about girls - When will the doctor remove the splint from your leg?”

“End of August, most likely,” Vernon whines, “And it sucks!”

“Can you at least take walks at the beach?”

“That I can.”

“Then we should ask your parents if they let us go to the beach!”

“Unlikely, but we can always try!”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Besides, there’s no way they would let us help around with cleaning in your state.”

“You make it sound like I’m handicapped or something…” Vernon pouts.

“You sort of are since you can’t even kick a ball!” Chan giggles and sprints away.

“Get back here, you skunk! You’ll pay for this!” Vernon tries to catch up with his friend while menacingly holding one of the crutches in the air.

July, 1975.

The neighborhood of Gkyzi is celebrating once again and of course, Vernon is dressed to the nines.

He holds a film camera in his hands and he tries his best to take pictures of his aunt walking down the street in her sequined wedding dress, her blonde hair styled to perfection to uphold the veil as she holds onto his dad’s arm - the tradition of a man walking the bride down the aisle still holds strong.

Amongst the pleasant ruckus of family and friends flocking towards the bride, Vernon snaps one photo with the intention of creating a memory of his aunt’s happy moment.

But instead, all he manages to capture is Seungkwan standing behind a tree holding his mother’s hand.

He watches them walk away in silence, fear and sadness overcoming his senses as he slowly realizes that the backyard trio will soon become a mere memory of his childhood years.

A few days later, Vernon celebrates his 14th birthday in the living room of his house. He’s surrounded by his family and Chan, waiting for the familiar birthday song to end and finally blowing away the candles on the cake. The words “Happy birthday sprout”, written with bright red syrup steal Vernon’s attention that causescausing a small smile to form on his face as he knows that soon he won’t be called a sprout anymore. The end of middle school is just a year away.

But at the same time, the years of his innocence and the adventures of the backyard trio come to a painful yet silent end.

July, 1977.

The birthday song ends, and the freshly sixteen-year-old Vernon blows away the candles of his chocolate-covered birthday cake.

As soon as he gets up, he's welcomed with a flurry of hugs and kisses from people wishing him nothing but the best.

"Thank you for the cake and the wishes, buuuut I must take my leave now, everyone," he announces with a cheeky smile.

"What? But I canceled my rehearsal so I wouldn't miss your birthday!" Jihyo pouts.

“What is even so important that you have to leave right now?” Stelios asks.

“I have to meet with Chan in less than ten minutes. We want to go south and see Jeonghan’s live performance.”

“Ah yes, the lawyer turned musician.” The father rolls his eyes.

“It’s a shame, though,” Mary sighs.“I even prepared roasted beef with potatoes for you!”

“Mom, you can just keep a portion for me!”

“Fine, if you say so,” she sighs, “Hope you have fun, darling.”

“And no alcohol!” Stelios yells right before Vernon closes the door behind him.

He hastily walks down the stairs of the apartment block, noticing Chan waiting for him on a sleek red Vespa.

“Where the hell did you get this from, skunk?” He asks.

“Surprise! Happy birthday, idiot.” Chan grins.

“I thought we would go south by taxi?”

“Are you dumb? Everyone knows my dad, and if word gets out, we’re done for!”

“As if stealing your dad’s Vespa is a mightier act.”

“Shut up and get behind me already!” Chan yells and turns on the engine, trying his best to drive in a straight line and not like a wobbly baby.

After an hour or so, they made it to the bar where Jeonghan was playing with his band, only to catch him right at the end of the live performance.

“Hey, you guys made it!” The man greets them happily, “Happy birthday, sprout.”

“Stop calling me that. I’m not a kid anymore!” Vernon playfully shoves his brother.

“What the hell are you even wearing?”

“Aunt gifted it to me.” Vernon fixes his new shirt. “What, it’s not nice?”

“It’s fucking terrible, dude,” Jeonghan laughs, “Couldn’t you have worn a normal tee like Chan did? Anyways, should I get you a couple of beers?”

“What? No whiskey?!” Chan complains.

“It’s either beer or lemonade.”

“Beer it is, then.” Vernon agrees.

“Okay, it’s settled then!” Jeonghan clapped his hands in excitement, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, but the cute blondie over there has been checking me out, and I’d hate to disappoint her.”

“Are you sure she wasn��t looking at me?” Chan points at himself.

“Shut the fuck up, you skunk.” Jeonghan smacks the younger man’s head and takes his leave.

“So…. Should we get those beers?” Vernon turns his attention to his friend.

“Not before the girls arrive.”

“The wh- Huh?”

“Surprise again! I arranged a date with two girls. They will be here soon.”

“Uhh, thanks? I guess?”

“Don’t thank me yet, skunk.”

Soon enough, the two girls arrive, introducing themselves with giggles and eyelash-batting - Vernon didn’t pay attention to their names.

A bottle of beer turns into two and two turns into three. He starts feeling a bit hazy, but his friend seems completely unfazed, as he keeps disco dancing with the girls.

“Hey, how about we walk at the beach?!” One of the girls suggests.

“Sure, sounds fun!”

“Wha- uh, s-sure, yeah.” Vernon stutters and rubs his face to wake himself up, but it’s no use.

He lowkey thanks the heavens for the bar being just a ten-minute walk from the beach.

“Dude, can you believe it? They are infatuated with us!” Chan excitedly pats his friend’s back.

“I just think they are just excited by nature…”

“Then how do you explain THIS?”

Vernon’s eyes almost fall out of his skull when he sees the girls taking off their clothes one by one, ready to dive in.

“What are they doing?!”

“What do you think they are doing?” Chan grins like an imp.

“Hey! Are you coming or not?!” The ladies wave at the two boys as they take a few steps into the ice-cold water.

“Vern, are we going in or not?!”

“I…don’t feel so good…”

“Oh come on, don’t be a coward!”

“I’m not a c-coward, my stomach f-feels weird…”

“Okay birthday boy, now is not the time to play games!”

“I need…water…”

That’s all Vernon manages to say before he passes out on the sand, the alcohol proving a little too much for him to handle.

“Vernon!”

Chan kneels down and shakes his friend’s body, tapping his cheeks in an attempt to wake him up, but his actions are futile.

“Why isn’t he waking up?!” One of the girls shouts.

“I don’t know!” Chan panics. “Fuck!”

July, 1977 - one day after Vernon’s birthday.

“It was sheer luck that Jeonghan passed by the same spot where you passed out.” Chan gulps down his lemonade. “Otherwise, mister Stelios would have kicked my ass.”

“Yours and mine both, skunk,” Vernon laughs, “Can’t believe I passed out from just two bottles of beer.”

“Real loser behavior from you, Vern.”

The two boys turn their attention to you, watching you tower over the tabletop football game with a playful grin on your face.

“What’s wrong, boys? Cat got your tongue?”

“Shut up, Y/N, just start the game!” Chan lets out an exasperated groan as he takes over the opposite side of the table, “Can’t wait to win this game and get back at you for the last time.”

“Dream on, skunk.” You scoff and throw the small white ball in the pit.

The handles on both sides are on fire, the wooden football player-shaped figures hitting and stopping the ball when needed. Vernon’s eyes are fixated on the way your hands skillfully switch from handle to handle, earning you another fair and square victory in a matter of minutes.

“This is bullshit!” Chan protests, “How do you keep winning all the time?!”

“It’s called skill, Chan.” You stretch your arms above your head. “Something you obviously don’t have. Now pay up.”

He lets out a sigh as he hands over the spare change in his pocket to his friend. Vernon goes to the bar counter and gives the money to the owner.

“Y/N has really been kickin’ your asses in games lately, huh?”

“You have no idea, Uncle Thomas.”

“So, when are you doing it?”

“Do what?”

“Confess to her, you blockhead of a youngster.” Thomas smacks Vernon’s forehead, “And don’t even dare to deny it.”

“I don’t really think I had a chance to actually confess to her…”

“Then create one, you idiot! You’re supposed to be the lovesick smartass.”

Vernon takes a look at his two friends, and you look back at him with a beaming smile.

“Take the shot while you can, lad. Time waits for no one.”

He leaves the counter and rejoins the other two, who are still bickering about tabletop football.

“Vernon, tell her that I’m actually good at this game!” Chan points to you, visibly annoyed.

“Chan, you fucking suck at that game.”

“Fuck you, Vernon.”

“Love you too, skunk.”

“Okay, enough with the talking!” You wave your hands to calm down the two boys, “Wanna take a walk to the backyard?”

“How did this come into consideration?”

“It won’t stay as it is for long, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The mayor has received a grand sum of money from the government to reshape the neighborhood, aka make even more apartment blocks.”

“Okay, yeah, but what does our backyard have to do with it?” Chan asks.

“The excavators will dig the entire backyard and throw away everything. It’s part of their plan.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Vernon frowns.

“I wish I was, but I’m not, sadly.”

“Well, I guess that walk to the backyard is necessary now,.” Chan straightens his back and starts walking towards the bar exit. “Come on, whatcha waitin’ for?”

The walk to their destination doesn’t take them more than ten minutes. They have developed a strong muscle memory throughout their childhood years with the hours upon hours they spent playing there which resulted with them often returning home with dirt and sweat all over their skin and clothes.

Everything remained the same - the empty oil cans, the rusty old truck, and the scattered metal bars from past working sites that were never made into real buildings.

“Nothing has changed here, huh?” Chan lets out a laugh, “I still remember the time when the girls tried to claim the truck for their own.”

“That’s because we wanted equal rights to the backyard! And we gained them through hard work!”

“Are you referring to the cart race?” Vernon scoffs.

“You’re quick to catch on, Vern.” You grin and he nudges your shoulder playfully.

“You mean the one where your cart got stuck on the edge of the pavement and you couldn’t take it out?”

“How do you know that? You weren’t even there, Chan!”

“I met Seungkwan the day after the race and he told me what happened.”

“Ooh.” You narrow your eyes in anticipation. “What did he tell you?

“He said that Vernon was really mad at himself and couldn’t understand how in the world he lost a driving race to a girl.”

“Shut up, Chan!”

“It’s not like we didn’t know, Vern.” You sit on the edge of the truck. “You were clearly pissed off that day.”

“Guys come on, it’s been years since that! I think it’s time to drop it already!”

“That’s cute.”

“Ugh, you two are insufferable!” Vernon rolls his eyes.

In a split second, you exchange quick nods with Chan and he gets the message you’re trying to send him.

“It was nice to see you again my dear friends, but I’m afraid I have to leave now.” Chan announces with a beaming smile.

“And why are you so happy about it?” Vernon questions him with a neutral expression.

“Well, that’s because…” Chan skillfully lies, “I have a date soon and I need to get ready! Bye-bye!”

The two of you watch as Chan almost runs away.

“Hm, that’s weird.” Vernon grimaces.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“Chan never told me he has a date today.”

“Maybe he forgot to tell you?”

“Nah, he would never do that. Something is fishy here.”

“Or maybe you’re hallucinating!” You jump from the truck.

“Haha, really funny, Y/N.” He deadpans.

“I know I’m hilarious, thanks for the reminder, buddy.” You stand right in front of him.

“Can you…stop doing this?” Vernon’s voice grows softer.

“Do what?”

“Calling me your buddy.”

“But…Why would I stop doing that?” You let out an awkward laugh.

“Because I cannot be your friend anymore, Y/N.”

Your blood runs cold.

“Wait, what? What is that supposed to mean?”

“I cannot be your friend anymore because I like you, Y/N.”

“O-Oh.” You stutter.

“Remember when I sent you that letter back in middle school?”

You gasp.

“You’ve liked me since then?!”

“Yes, but you never reciprocated these feelings! I gave up after some point, but-”

You cut Vernon off by kissing him on the lips, your hands resting on his cheeks.

“Is it too late to reciprocate them now?” You whisper.

His lips curl upwards in a fond smile and his arms bring you closer to his body.

“Of course not.”

December, 1977.

“Come on, we’re going to be late for the premiere!” Mary yells from the house entrance.

“Oh shush, woman, I’m here!” Stelios fixes his tie, “So, how do I look?”

“Like a mannequin - Can we go now?”

“Fine….” he mutters while rolling his eyes.

“Darling, are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” She asks Vernon.

“Yeah, I just took a painkiller. I’ll be fine!”

“Don’t you want some of us to stay here?”

“No! I swear, I’ll be fine,” Vernon whines, “Just go, you shouldn’t miss the premiere - And say congrats to Jihyo from me.”

As soon as his parents and aunt bid him goodbye and close the door behind them, he jumps off the couch and picks up the telephone to swiftly dial your number.

“It’s me, yeah.” He lets out an awkward laugh after you pick up. “My parents just left the house, and they won’t be back until way late into the night. I’ve turned on the stove. Everything is set.”

“I’ll be there soon.” You answer and end the call abruptly, unknowingly leaving Vernon giddy in his spot.

When the doorbell rings, Vernon believes he’s prepared for everything.

But he’s most definitely not prepared to see you all dolled up at the doorstep of his house.

“What… happened to you?” He asks, dumbfounded.

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head. “How do I look?”

“You look… different. Or maybe I’m just not used to seeing you like this.”

“Be honest, do I look like a clown?”

“No, of course not!”

“Your nose will grow bigger like Pinocchio’s with your lies.” You walk inside with a laugh. “The house has changed a lot since the last time - I like how it looks now.”

“If you say so, would you like to see the rest of it?” Vernon offers his hand, and you gladly take it as he guides you straight to his room.

You make yourselves comfortable on his bed amidst the dimly lit room and the small candles burning on his nightstand.

“You’re really staying true to your romantic nature, aren’t you?”

“Well, it depends on how you see it.” He fishes a coin out of the pocket of his jeans. “Heads or tails?”

“Heads,” you pick. “What’s that for?”

“The loser has to take a shot of liquor.”

“Sounds fair enough.”

Vernon tosses the coin, and it lands on heads. The result causes a grin to form on your face.

“No need to be so happy about it,” he chuckles and takes the first shot.

“No need to be so salty about it,” you retort. “Can you close the curtains?”

“Sure.” He gets up and closes the curtains, returning to his seat.

You clear your throat and fill up the glass to the brim before downing the shot in one go.

“Oh wow.” Vernon lets out a small laugh.

“Stop laughing, I’m serious!” You slap his arm playfully.

“Me too.” He grabs your wrists and brings you in his arms. “You’re really pretty, you know?”

You stay silent and allow your lips to be captured by your boyfriend’s, letting him take the lead.

The feeling is euphoric, and neither of you want it to end - but luck isn’t on your side tonight.

The sound of the door opening and the voices of Vernon’s parents echoing in the corridor send the two of you in a state of panic.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“What do we do now?!”

“Under the bed, quickly!” He almost pushes you off the bed, and you scramble to hide under it, pulling your shoes and bag close to your body.

Vernon pulls the covers over himself, picking up the sick act once his mother opens the door of his bedroom.

"Hi honey, how are you feeling?"

"Kinda better…..Why are you back so soon?"

"Your father felt faint right before the performance, so here we are," She sighs in disappointment, “I feel really sorry for Jihyo. She was so looking forward to it…”

“Is Dad feeling any better now?”

“I think so, although I hope you’re feeling better as well,” Mary checks his temperature, “Hmm, it’s not as hot as it was before…”

“Mom, I’m sleepy…” Vernon mutters.

“I know, sweetie, I just wanted to check up on you. I’ll leave now, okay?”

“Close the door as you leave!”

Mary closes the door once she walks out of the room, and Vernon jumps out of the bed, checking underneath it.

“You can come out now.” He stretches his hand, “Careful not to make any noise.”

“No need to tell me what I already know, Vern.” You roll your eyes.

“I’m really sorry about this, I had no idea things would go that way.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you whisper and cradle his face. “It was just…really tough luck tonight.” Vernon sighs in defeat.

“Let’s hope next time will be.” You kiss his cheek and put on your shoes.

“I think it’s better to wait until they have fallen asleep. I don’t want to startle my parents.”

“I don’t want that either.”

June, 1978.

Vernon feels like he just got thrown in a freezing cold lake.

“W-What do you mean you’re leaving?”

“We have to go back to my mother’s hometown,” you frown. “But it’s just for a month!”

“We?”

“My mom and I. She has some business to take care of back there, and I don’t want her to go on her own.”

Vernon lets out a sigh while running a hand through his hair.

“Hey, I’ll be back, I promise! Besides, we’ll always be together.” You caress his arm in an attempt to comfort him.

“This month will feel like an eon to me,” Vernon admits with a sad smile.

“Same here.” You reciprocate his smile and lean in to press a chaste kiss on his cheek. “But it’s only temporary.”

“But damn, we didn’t even manage to go on a proper date all this time.”

One month turned into two in the blink of an eye, and you still hadn’t returned. Vernon was rapidly losing hope that your stay in Ioannina would be something more than temporary.

He’s quietly reading 1984 by George Orwell, a book Jeonghan gifted to him for his 16th birthday - a very Jeonghan-coded pick that matched his rebellious character.

“Vernon! Lunch is ready!” His mother yells from the other end of the corridor.

“Coming!” He yells back, sliding his bookmark over the most recent page he read. He leaves his room, walks over to the dinner table, and sits down, his eyes gleaming at the sight of piping hot Bolognese pasta.

Time passes by and the sound of clinking cutlery on the half empty plates fill the living room.

“How’s studying going, son?”

“It’s going well so far, except for some...turbulence.”

“Turbulence? What turbulence?” Stelios raises his eyebrow in a rather menacing way.

“He’s been feeling down because Y/N left, Dad, that’s what he means,” Jihyo huffs. “Our sprout misses his girl.” She ruffles Vernon’s hair, and he pushes her hand away with a whine.

“Speaking of Y/N.” Mary flashes a playful smile and gets up from the table. "She actually sent you a letter. It arrived this morning."

As soon as she picks up the letter with her hand, it's snatched by Vernon who immediately dashes back into his room to read said letter while the nagging voice of his father gets drowned in the background.

He closes the door and sits on his bed, ripping open the envelope to reveal the neatly folded piece of paper. He gently unfolds it and your familiar handwriting appears right before his eyes. Vernon’s heart starts beating faster.

Dear Vernon,

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to write back the past two months. Things here are worse than I thought, hence why my temporary stay was extended by one month.

Which brings me to the bad news - I won’t be able to return to Athens to take the national exams.

My mom cannot handle the monthly expenses on her own anymore, and she thinks it’s a better option to stay at Ioannina since she already has a place of her own that’s good enough to house two people.

I truly don’t like this change of events, but I’m afraid there’s nothing else I can do. I just don’t have it in my heart to leave her alone……

“I know this isn’t what you wanted either, but I assure you, the distance will not get in the way of my feelings for you. We’ll always be together, no matter what.” Vernon finishes reading the letter and folds the paper back in half.

“Damn, did you learn the whole letter by heart?” Chan’s eyes widen.

“I’ve read it 45, no…..47 times by the time I got it in my hands.” Vernon sighs in defeat.

“That fucking sucks, dude.”

“I know.”

“Like, this couldn’t have come at a worse time.”

“Whose side are you on again?”

“Hey, don’t shoot me! I’m just stating facts here!” Chan defends himself. “Besides, I’m your best friend. I’m here to help you get over the bad things and have fun like an actual boy of your age!”

“And I suppose you have an idea of what boys our age do?”

“Of course I do! If I don’t have an idea about fun, who would?”

“I don’t know, man, I don’t really feel like going out…”

“Oh, come on, stop being a buzzkill!” Chan groans.

“Oh my God, stop it already, fine!” Vernon rubs his palms all over his face.

“Wonderful! I bought three tickets for the ‘Lemon Sorbet’ movie. We're gonna meet up with Dahyun in front of your house at 8 tomorrow.”

“Wait, what?”

“You heard me. We have a movie date tomorrow night!”

“Dude, I’ll end up third wheeling.”

“No you won’t! Now get up, we got stuff to do.”

“What stuff?!”

“Get beers, duh.”

February, 1979.

“Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable!”

“Dad, just stop it. There’s no use in yelling about it anymore,” Jihyo hands over a glass of water to Vernon, “What is done is done now.”

“Jihyo is right,” Mary agrees. “Besides, it’s not the end of the world if he doesn't get into university.”

“Are all of you even listening to what you’re saying?!” Stelios roars on top of his lungs. “He failed the national exams! Even Chan succeeded, and he was a worse student!”

“Dad, just stop it-”

“Stop it? Is that all you have to say?! Open your damn mouth and say which university you put on the entrance paper!”

“Can we just stay at the fact that I didn’t make it into university? That’s it.” Vernon wipes the sweat off his forehead.

“You have the audacity to say that?!”

“Yes, I do!”

“Then I have the audacity to tell you that you’re either going to do your mandatory service or get a job.” The man slams his hand on the table of the living room. “You have a family to take care of!”

“I don’t have a family to take care of and I have no goddamn reason to either get a job or go to the military!” Vernon yells back and rushes out of the house, ignoring the voices of his parents and Jihyo.

The only place he's able to think of is Uncle Thomas's bar, hoping he'll be able to find some solace there.

As soon as he enters the bar, he hears loud cheers and clinking glasses - they're probably celebrating their successful entries, he thinks and his heart sinks even deeper.

"Skunk, you made it!" Chan greets him with a tight hug. "How are you holding up?"

"Terribly, actually," Vernon admits with a loud exhale.

"Dude, it's not the end of the world."

"Easy to say…"

"Chan is right," Dahyun tries to comfort him, "You cannot let one exam define your entire future, Vernon. You still have plenty of time to decide what you truly want for yourself."

"If only I knew what I actually wanted for myself," he sighs again and takes the newspaper laying on top of the pool table, swiftly reading through the entrance bases of each university.

“So Y/N didn’t make it into the Chemistry department of Athens, huh?”

“I’m so sorry, Vernon…” Dahyun hugs him, Chan follows right after. They form a small group hug as the couple try their best to comfort their mutual friend.

“It’s okay, lovebirds.” He flashes them a sad smile. “I’m glad both of you succeeded, especially you, Dahyun.”

“I still wasn’t the first one…”

“Babe, you’re the first woman to get into medical school! The most prestigious in the entire country!”

Vernon wishes he could hug you like this and congratulate you for your success - except this time, you won’t be able to come back, save for the holidays, perhaps.

Maybe that would have helped him forget about his own troubles.

April, 1979.

The phone in the living room rings for the fifth time this week, yet Vernon refuses to pick it up.

He knows you’re the one calling him, and that’s exactly why he’s not picking up.

“You can’t avoid her forever, you know,” Chan fixes his glasses, “What if she decides to return one day?”

“You know that’s not gonna happen any time soon,” Vernon replies. “She already has a life of her own there - hell, she might have already found someone else!”

“How can you be so sure about that? You haven’t even given her the chance to let her speak to you! I would have given up if I was her, but the fact that she’s still persistent means that she’s worried.”

“Listen, Chan - My life is fucked up to the point where the last thing I can deal with right now is Y/N. Nothing has been going right, and I most definitely don’t want to humiliate myself to her.”

“The only one who is humiliating you is none other than yourself.” Chan gets up from his seat.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“You obviously need some time to work some stuff out.” The man fixes his shirt. “And I’m giving you the space you need.”

“Chan, hold on-”

“If you think I am giving up on you, that’s not the case, skunk. But if you aren’t willing to get out of the slump you’ve put yourself in, then it’s game over.”

These words are what Chan says before closing the door behind him. The sudden silence in Vernon’s house makes him feel nauseous, and he hates that feeling.

Deep down, he really wants to talk to you and let out all his feelings, yet every time he picks up the phone to dial your number, the words die down in his throat before he even turns the ring to the last digit.

Then it hits him.

He doesn’t have to call you - he can write a letter to you, just like you did when you left Athens.

Writing has been his safe haven ever since he failed the national exams and it’s the safest way to pour his feelings into something that’s not harmful to his health.

He goes into his room and turns on the lamp on his desk. He tears a piece of paper from one of his old notebooks. He grabs a pen and starts writing down everything he wanted to tell you.

Dear Y/N,

I'm sorry for staying silent all this time. Honestly, I tried to call you numerous times, but I always chickened out every single time - Real loser behavior, you'd probably say.

But I actually feel like a loser, especially after the results of the exams. Nothing has been going well for me, let alone the plans I had for the future. My dad has been pressuring me into getting a job or doing my military service - not that I would mind finding a job to get some money, but can you seriously imagine me as an ironmonger?!

By the way, congrats on your results! I always knew you'd get into Chemistry, although I wish you were able to get into Athens…..Kinda selfish, isn't it?

I don't know when you'll be able to visit Gkyzi again, but if it's within the next year, it will be hard to see each other.

Contrary to belief, I decided to enlist next month. It's a good chance for me to think through things while getting over with the service. I know it's sudden, but there isn't anything else holding me down here, especially now that you aren't here either.

I am sorry for being a loser of a boyfriend and an even more pathetic friend. You probably think I am using the military as an excuse to run away from my problems, and I can't blame you for it.

I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.

Love you always,

Vernon.

He sets the pen down and lets out a breath he was holding, a huge weight being lifted off his chest.

"Well, it's now or never." He mutters and searches for an envelope to put the letter in. He folds it neatly and carefully places it inside, writing the sender and receptor details.

He puts on a pair of shoes and walks out of his room, clutching the envelope in his hand. However, he bumps into his dad on the way to the living room, the latter sort of looking down on him.

"And where are you off to?"

"I need to go to the mail post real quick-"

"Not before we talk."

"Dad, not right now-"

"There's never a right time for you, it seems!"

"Now is not the time, Dad!"

"And when will it be the time, Vernon? When you turn thirty you'll still live like a parasite?! Writing poems won't get you money, kid!"

"Can you just listen to me for once?!" Vernon yells back in frustration. "This isn't a fucking poem, it's a letter! A damn letter to Y/N and I just want to mail it!"

"Oh so now you have time for love letters?" Stelios follows right behind him. "When will you take up responsibility for your actions?!"

"I'll enlist in the military next month."

"You- Wait, what?"

"You heard me! I'm going to the military, just like you wanted me to! Hope you're happy now!" Vernon retorts and storms out of the house, slamming the door without hesitation.

"What happened? Where did Vernon go?" Mary rushes into the living room.

"Mary," Stelios huffs and rests his hands on his waist. "Our son is enlisting next month."

May, 1979.

Vernon finishes up packing the last of his belongings before leaving the house. He looks around his room, the memories of his childhood and early adolescence flashing before his eyes like a short film.

The last box has his favorite items in it - his film video camera, the poetry books he bought one by one with his allowance, and a few pictures of his friends to accompany him for the next twenty four months of his life.

“Ready to go, sprout?” Jihyo comes up behind him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m about to go into the military, and you’re still calling me a sprout?”

“Whether you complete your service or create your own family in ten years, you’re still my younger brother!” She ruffles his hair lovingly. “Come on, the others are waiting for us.”

Vernon nods as he seals the box with tape and picks it up in his arms.

It still feels like a fever dream, but reality hits him as soon as he walks out of the apartment block and he is greeted by the rest of his family, Chan and Dahyun, as well as Sir Nick.

“You have no idea how much you surprised me, skunk.”

“I know, it took you a fucking week to forgive me when I told you I’m enlisting.”

“You caught me like a deer in front of headlights! We already lost Seungkwan, and you’re going away too!”

“Chan, he isn’t leaving forever. It’s just twenty four months - with breaks in between!” Dahyun reprimands him, “He won’t be gone forever!”

“It will certainly feel like it…”

“Don’t worry, Chan, you’ll be fine.” Vernon hugs his friend. “We will be fine.”

“I’m really proud of you, kid,” Sir Nick approaches him. “Once a boy scout, now a grown man who’s about to serve his country - You’ve come a long way.”

“All thanks to you, sir.”

“Stop with that now, I can’t be crying at my age. Now shoo!”

“Come on now, it’s time to go, son.” Stelios pats Vernon’s back. “Put your stuff in the back, I’ll take you to the station.”

He says his goodbyes to everyone, exchanging tight hugs as he knows he won’t be able to see them any time soon again.

He places his stuff in the back of the car and slides into the backseat, closing the door behind him. He waves at them one last time before his dad turns on the engine and drives away from them.

If he had turned his head just a few seconds later, he would have seen you running towards the car while screaming his name.

You feel like tearing up as you watch the car disappear in the distance, kneeling on the asphalt with a piece of paper lying in your lap.

“Y/N!” Chan and Dahyun rush towards you.

“When- When did you get back?!”

“Just….Just an hour ago,” you sob, “If only that damn letter had reached me sooner!”

“I…I am so sorry, Y/N,” Dahyun hugs you in an attempt to comfort you, “We had no idea you’d come…”

“I didn’t alert anyone beforehand, I had no time.” Your tears run down your cheeks without hesitation.

“Fuck, I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.”

#svthub #svthub.collab #vernon fluff #vernon angst #vernon comedy #svt vernon #hansol vernon chwe #svt fluff #svt angst #svt comedy #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen comedy #seventeen #tw alcohol #tw violence #tw bullying #tw bruises

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songmingisthighs · 2 years ago

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Ignominy

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. v - kokomo

hybrid!san × human!reader

buy me coffee ?

everyone wants to belong, it's basic human need to connect with people around them. what happens when you're responsible for someone who belongs to two worlds but at the same time belongs to neither ? worst part is, what happens when it's your ex ?

In the arms of Jongho, you didn't feel much different than everyone around. And with the flute of champagne in your hand, you honestly felt much much lighter than you initially was when you just arrived.

"Remind me, how did you manage to convince me to accompany you to this event?" You asked before taking a sip of the champagne. Jongho took a sip from his flute as well before answering you, "I promised you that I'll do a Marvel marathon with you," he said, leaning down closer to you, "and that I'll buy your beer for the next three outings." You furrowed your eyebrows and pursed your lips, "I thought you said five," you questioned, recalling what Jongho told you.

Unfortunately, Jongho avoided your question as he perked up and called someone over.

You looked in the direction of the person Jongho called only to see a handsome man, he looked older than Jongho and dressed to the tens. There was an aura of authority around him and you couldn't deny that at that moment, you were attracted to him.

"Seungcheol hyung," Jongho pulled him into a tight one-arm hug before pulling away and introducing you both, "Hyung, I want you to meet my date, (y/n), she's unemployed and drinks like a sailor. (y/n), this is my cousin Choi Seungcheol, he's the VP of another family business and he's finally showing his face after... Three? Four years of being abroad?" Jongho said, grinning proudly at his cousin.

After giving Jongho the stink eye, you faced Seungcheol with the biggest, widest grin you can muster and offered your hand for him to shake, "Don't mind Jongho, he's annoyed that he couldn't actually get any girls to go with him tonight so he decided to be a sore loser about it," you said in a sweet tone. Seunghceol laughed heartily and took your hand in his, shaking it, "Damn, so you're telling me you're just doing Jongho a favour?" he teased, side-eyeing Jongho. The man in question huffed and smack his cousin lightly on his shoulder, "Hey, don't make it sound like I'm such a loser, I could've taken anyone tonight but I wanted (y/n) to mingle with business people!" he defended himself. You faked a mocking coo and pat him gently on the head, "Aww, sure you can, buddy. We're so proud of you," you teased and smirked when you saw his left eyebrow twitch.

Your focus accidentally shifted past Jongho and you couldn't help but swallow the lump that appeared in your throat out of nowhere when you locked eyes with San.

You hadn't seen him since four or five years ago. The last time you both were in the same room was after you both lost your virginity to each other. You remember that day clearly like it was just yesterday. You remember getting your high school diploma and then running away from your friend group and him from his own friend group to have a romantic day to celebrate. It had been in both of your plans to have sex for the first time ever with each other and you both agreed that the perfect time to do it was when you both finally stepped into adulthood. Hand-in-hand, you both spent the day taking pictures, eating, lying on the grass of the Han River next to each other making plans for the future, and come evening, having your way with each other for the first time ever.

Above all, you remembered how San almost choked you to death and then later on, woke up in the hospital with bruises all over your body, unable to speak. You waited and waited but San never came to visit you. Heck, he disappeared into thin air, never to be heard from anymore. Well, not by you anyways. And despite being best friends with his cousin, Jongho, you never dared ask about him because why would you wanna know anything about the man that only gave you pain and didn't even have enough balls to take responsibility?

Immediately, you averted your gaze to look at Seungcheol with a smile, "So, Seungcheol, how good is your drinking skill?"

On the other side of the room, San's palm began to sweat. He had been uncharacteristically jittery ever since he stepped into the hotel parking lot and he didn't know why. Thinking that his meds were wearing off, he took a dose of his heat suppressant but it still did nothing. San thought that maybe he was nervous because of the scale of the party and the guests and heck, even the fact that his grandpa was there.

It didn't even take long for him to spiral out even more when he saw that you had come with Jongho. To be frank, San was so close to leaving earth at that point but Yunho regrounded him by assisting him in talking to the guests who wanted to discuss things with him. Despite the distraction of waves of old men coming up to him trying to ask about his business plan and his feeling over his family's achievement. He never really minded with being the face of the company but at that moment, he wasn't feeling so hot.

Things become even worse for him when he saw you pulling Seungcheol to the side of the bar. WITHOUT Jongho.

"Dude, are you okay?" Yeosang asked, tapping on San's shoulder which made the man jump slightly despite it being a light tap. San's hand instinctively pulled at his collar from discomfort. It took a lot from San to avert his gaze from you and his obviously hot cousin whom he hadn't seen in a long while. Damn it, why is he back now and right when you're finally in the same room as his again?

Although he wanted to say all that, his body was not letting him have his feelings. So San let out an exhale, fixed the lapels of suit and gave Yeosang a tight-lipped smile, "Nothing, can we move from this spot? I think I saw the guy we signed a deal with two years ago," he said, nodding his head to the other direction. Though unsure, Yeosang knew that it was unwise to unload San's feelings at that moment so he just went along with whatever San wanted. "Sure thing, we can- Mingi?" Yeosang turned to look for Mingi only to see the tall man trailing away, seemingly following someone with the tray of sliders. "Damn it," Yeosang groaned, turning to Wooyoung who was making eyes with a hybrid paralegal nearby, "Can you please focus? We lost a guy to food, we need to stay sharp for San," he said. Hearing him say this, San felt bad. He was basically being babysat by his friends and it was humiliating for him. But he couldn't do anything, not when he himself realized that he was not in an emotionally stable state.

With one last glance at your direction, San walked away to circulate the room, hoping that he might get to talk to you again after so long.

You, on the other hand, were trying not to choke on the shot you just downed. Seeing you trying to bite down you grin as some alcohol dribbled down your chin, Seungcheol easily inhaled his own before he pointed at your chin, "No, that's cheating, you're losing like half of that shot just by being clumsy," he stated. You put the now empty shot glass on the table and stared at Seungcheol with an incredulous look, "Excuse me? I downed that one whole shot, you saw me!" you defended. But Seungcheol shook his head at you, briefly taking a moment to flag down the bartender and put two of his fingers up, indicating that he wanted two more shots, "Nope, doesn't count," he smirked. Once the bartender came back with two shots that he placed in front of you both. You took the shot glass that was placed in front of you and swirled it slightly, "Do you do this often?" you asked, peering over to Seungcheol through your eyelashes, "What?" He asked, "Doing shots at parties with a girl?" Seungcheol raised an eyebrow at you and he suddenly repositioned himself, moving so that he was leaning closer to you. The lack of chairs or stools on the bar allowed him to be free with his movement and position. "Girl? No. Pretty girls? Yes," he winked as he took his shot glass and pressed it to his mouth. You shook your head in disbelief, trying to be aloof but the smirk on your lips made it apparent that his words had affected you, "Smooth," you stated simply as you gulp your own shot.

When you lowered the shot glass from your lips, you saw Seungcheol staring at you. It was at that moment that you realized how beautiful his orbs and lashes are. "What?" You asked, feeling awkward all of a sudden, not used to being stared. Well, not used to being stared by a guy as handsome as he anyways. "You got, uh... You got a little something," He then proceed to put his shot glass back on the bar and he gently cupped your chin. Your eyes widened at the sudden touch and your body became stiff.

Just as Seungcheol was about to do something, a commotion broke that snapped you both from being so immersed with each other and made you jump away from each other.

From the middle of the crowd, you can see some people moving around frantically until the people around you stepped to the sides to reveal someone on top of another person. There were several people trying to separate them but the person on top seemed to have the upper hand. It wasn't until the person on top finally lifted his head that you realized that it was San on top of a middle-aged businessman. Your eyes widened in shock and San's too. Maybe it was you imagining things, but you could've sworn that when he realized you were looking at him, San's body relaxed and his hands lost their grip on the middle-aged man. People took notice of that as well and one person took that moment to his advantage. He grabbed San up by the arm and dragged him away, their trail was covered by two more guys as people only started to gather around to tend to the middle-aged man once they were sure that San was no longer around. The area was nothing short of chaos with people running around getting ice and making space, and the whole nine yards. It had started to overwhelm you, to be frank.

Thankfully, you saw Jongho jogging towards you once San was taken away and out and once he got close, he pulled you away to the sidelines. "Geez, I thought that was you," Jongho said, exhaling in relief. Confused, your eyebrows scrunched, "What are you talking about, I was with Seungcheol this whole time. You left me alone with him, you jerk," you scoffed. Jongho simply rolled his eyes and gently wrapped an arm around your waist, guiding you away from the crowd, "Well, for one thing, I know you tend to do stupid shit when you're drunk and you've been inhaling shots like it was fucking caprisun," he stated, looking at you pointedly, "Second, I don't want you to get hurt, okay?" and you smiled gratefully at Jongho's consideration over your safety.

"Can we go somewhere... Less crowded? This feels uncomfortable for me," you smiled sheepishly at him. Lucky for you, he grinned widely and nodded in agreement, wordlessly guiding you away once again. But as you walked away with Jongho, you couldn't help but let your eyes trail over where San and his friend disappeared to. You had never seen him like that but maybe he just had changed over the years. The sweet boy you once knew maybe has been replaced by someone you act without thinking. Whatever it was, you don't think that you liked it. Not even one bit. Especially not when he looked like he was about to hurt someone like he had hurt you a long time ago.

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mygloviesme · 1 year ago

Text

cool about it, eleven years later. || myg

no. 2 of 3: she called me a fucking liar

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: eleven years later, kanako lives in nyc with her childhood best friend keiko. bts have become a household name that floods her every day life, and she's learned to ignore it. after years of moving on from those months she spent with the seven boys, she finds herself in a good place. what happens after one fateful night she finally runs into faces she's tried so hard to run away from?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 4.6k

genre: ANGST, fluff, melodrama

chapter warnings: mentions of mental health, drinking, smoking

inspo song: worldstar money by joji

JULY 9TH, 2023, 10:48PM

The woman next to Yoongi loops her arm around his, holding him close. A knife puncturing my stomach only twists further. Further and further.

“Who’s this?” She asks genuinely, kindly. Oh, I loathe her. I hate myself for it but I hate her more. The feelings I’m having are childish and jealous, completely unreasonable. But she’s so perfect. Her body fits into his like they were made for each other. I don’t recognize myself right now. It feels like high school with the way I’m obsessing over her every move.

All I want to do right now is run into the club and down more drinks than I can fathom. Self destructive is the right word. I was never one for spite, but right now I wish I had a man on my own arm.

“This is…Kanako.” He speaks, gulping.

Her eyes widen and she breaks apart from him, taking my hands. “Oh my goodness! I didn’t even recognize you! I’m Aimee, remember? I was a trainee at Bighit for a little while.”

The memories flood my brain as I recount who exactly she was. I do remember her. After the news broke out, she was the one who told me I could still take back what I said about Haneul. She was on his side.

This is who he’s with? I feel a burning in my stomach, a validating one. I have a reason to dislike her. It gives me reason to hate her. And God, do I hate her right now.

I look at Yoongi as Aimee holds my hands in hers, utter incredulity painting my face like a mural. I’m not sure if he remembers, but I do. Those words all those years ago were repeated over and over again so I could hate myself even more. She was amongst the people that made me afraid to go outside ever again.

Haneul doesn’t have that power over me anymore, and neither does she. At least for being on his side. But I’m definitely giving her power by wanting to rip her away from Yoongi. This is getting embarrassing.

“Yes. I do. You were friends with Haneul, weren’t you?” I smile with bitterness. I’m old enough to make statements now. I’m old enough to create boundaries. I don’t have to lie about liking someone. Fuck being the bigger person. I’ve been big, I’ve been small. I’ve done it all.

Her beaming smile fades and she lets go of me, “N-No. Well, yes. But I know better now, I’m so sorry for what I said. I haven’t spoken to him in over a decade.” She says. Yeah, right.

Yoongi only stands with his hands in his pockets, not saying a word. I don’t want to be talking to Aimee, but I’m not entirely sure I want to be talking to him either. I don’t know if I have the strength to, considering how it went with Jungkook. There’s too many thoughts circling my mind at this very moment, all of them being about Yoongi. I don’t even know if I would consider him an ex, someone I knew, the one that got away. Because that would be me, I got away.

I know I should’ve moved on long ago. I know I did in certain ways. But still after all these years I never understood why I could never give myself to someone else.The feelings for Yoongi had never dissipated, I just forgot what it’s like for him to be standing in front of me. Looking like that.

This hurts so fucking bad.

“Hey, Koko.” I hear Keiko say from behind Yoongi. She holds her bag as well as mine. Her body is asking if I’m ready to go. She knows. “It’s alright Aimee. Have a good night.” I say and nod to Yoongi who makes strong eye-contact with me.

I turn to Namjoon, “How long are you going to be in New York for?”

“Just two more days.” He says, “We can meet up again if you’d like.”

I walk to Keiko, grabbing my bag. “I’ll call you.” I tell him. He nods slowly and I wave a quick good-bye before me and Keiko head off into the Uber she called over.

As I walk away I’m fighting the urge to look back. I didn’t then, but I want to now. A part of me wants to tell Yoongi that I want to see him again. But the other part wants me to ignore all those precious memories we have together and lock them in a box, throwing away the key. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. I grip my purse tighter, biting my lip.

Before we get into the Uber, I reluctantly choose to look back. I hold the car door with one hand, turning to Yoongi. He was already looking at me. Those almond eyes. I keep that short moment in my back-pocket, saving it for tonight.

He looked back, and so did I.

JULY 9TH, 2023, 12:34AM

Me and Keiko sit on my bed, face masks on and a tub of ice cream between us with one spoon staked in the frozen dessert. It’s rocky-road, my favorite but her least favorite. She knew how much I needed it though, so she succumbed to the chunky-goodness.

“So how was it?”

“What?”

She rolls her eyes, “You know what I’m talking about.”

I take a deep breath, exhaling for a moment. “Awful. Jungkook was so upset, and I mean for the right reasons. But it just took me by surprise. He was so…sure with himself. Namjoon is sort of the same. Level-headed. But Yoongi…”

“He has long hair now.”

I shove her playfully, “Shut up!”

She takes the spoon, dipping it into ice cream before pulling it to her mouth. “Sorry. You were saying?”

I lean my hands back, “I felt like it was the first time all over again.”

“Like no time had passed?”

I pull a face, “It’s so stupid.”

She raises her eyebrows, giving her head a small tilt. “Just a little.”

I scoff, “Kay, sorry if I thought this was a safe space.”

“It is! It is. It's just funny to hear that is all. But I get it, trust me. Although it’s been eleven years.”

“Don’t rub it in! I know. But besides that, seeing him was so unreal. Unlike the others, he just seemed…the same. I don’t know. Should I see Namjoon tomorrow?” I ask, grabbing the spoon from her hand to have a bite.

“Well, what I’m hearing is you asking if you should see Yoongi tomorrow.” She purses her lips.

I nod sheepishly. “Maybe I am.”

“Kanako, can I be serious with you? For just a moment.” She stops and places her hands on my shoulders. I hold the spoon in my hand nervously, looking at her serious expression. “Sure.” I’m not. Keiko’s brutal honesty is never something to be ignored.

“As much as I love to encourage your bad decisions, I have to draw a line. Because I love you, and because I think you know this too…don’t try to stir things back up with him.”

I pout, “That wasn’t exactly my intention-”

“I know. But at your core, you’re a romantic. A lifelong monogamist, as much as you don’t like to admit it. You haven’t been in a real relationship in eleven years, and that makes me worry for you. And your vagina.”

“You know I’ve been trying to open up more!”

“Yes babe, but after eleven years? You couldn’t have been waiting for him, were you?”

She keeps emphasizing eleven years which doesn’t make me feel good. I know it’s sort of something that’s been left unsaid, my lack of relationships. But I’ve played it off as not needing a man, being too focused on my work. I’m just a workaholic, it’s fine. Even though that isn’t necessarily true. I love my free time. I love having free time. I knew one day I’d gain the strength to start something up with someone else, I was just waiting. Yeah, waiting.

“No! I mean not really. I just haven’t…felt that spark with anyone else.”

“Spark. Right.” She squints suspiciously.

“It’s true!” I gasp. It isn’t.

I settle down and play with the hem of my sweater, “Don’t act like I haven’t moved on.”

She cooes, “Oh, Koko. I know you have. I just think seeing him was hard for you. It brought up stuff, didn’t it?”

That’s definitely a word for it. Stuff. If stuff means feelings, yes. Feelings I can’t quite figure out. It’s not like I want to seduce him out of his relationship, but a part of me is so hungry to know him again. To know what he’s been up to, if he still likes his coffee the same, if his love for me hasn’t faltered. It hurts me so much to think that mine hasn’t. Haneul was never my first love, Yoongi was. What I felt for Yoongi was deeper, something I didn’t and couldn’t understand at eighteen.

What I had with Hanuel was a need to be seen, validated. There wasn’t any depth besides the trauma I got out of it. That’s a black hole I’ve gotten out of. With stories to tell and scars to hide, but It’s gone. Thank God.

“Yeah…it did.”

She pulls me in for an embrace, kissing my forehead. “Do what you want, I love you. He’s just…obviously with someone new. I don’t want you to get hurt. But you should see Namjoon. And maybe try to fix things with Jungkook. That’ll make you feel better.”

I nod into her shirt, “Yeah, it will.”

She pulls herself back from the embrace, seemingly confused. “It kind of surprises me that your feelings are so strong for him…and yet you guys never had sex.”

“Trust me, that took me months to get over.”

JULY 10TH, 2023, 6:00PM

I move the hair in front of my face and adjust my soft pink top before I enter the rather expensive restaurant Namjoon had invited me to. This is definitely not a place we would’ve come to back then. Even I have never been here before.

There’s a few moments before I’m met with a hostess, “Kanako?” She asks and I nod, gripping the handle of my purse tighter. My hands are growing clammier, embarrassingly enough. Namjoon asked if he could invite some of the other members that were here as well, and I accepted warily. I knew I’d easily get overwhelmed by seeing most of them again, but I didn’t know when I’d have another chance to. Seeing as they’re all busy and for the first time in eleven years I’m taking a leap of faith.

I don’t know when I’d have this courage again. Especially if it means Yoongi might be there.

She leads me to a seated area covered by a black curtain. Her hand delicately brushes it open for me, revealing the four familiar men. For some reason I expected something more dramatic, more tragic. I have pessimism on the brain, but can you blame me? It’s my easiest coping mechanism. My most self-destructive one. A common theme lately.

She gives me leeway to enter and I respond to her with a quick thanks before entering the small room. The men all stand quickly but seem to be caught, saying nothing. Their eyes dart to each other for a quick minute before Jimin smiles, “You look great.” Unexpected, but I’ll take it.

They all look great too, all so mature and aged. I could take notes. But I think they’d be pricey notes.

It feels like I’m standing in front of strangers in a sense, eleven years taking off memories from me little by little. But I still remember a lot. Even with Jimin’s cadence in his voice, it’s so different. It’s softer. More gentle, like I’m a new friend. New friend.

“Please, sit.” Namjoon insists and I do so, sitting next to him which seems like the safest bet. I place my purse down beside me and shuffle in my seat, “Thanks for…inviting me. It’s great seeing you all again.” I say, trying so hard not to cringe with my words. Just like last night, it feels like anything I say doesn’t amount to how big this situation is.

We used to be all so close. I knew them. They called me their sister at some point.

“You too. Sorry Taehyung couldn’t make it. He’s busy and all that.” Namjoon chuckles, planting his elbows on the table. Jungkook sits right in front of me, not speaking a word. His eyes stay looking down at the table, sometimes to Jimin.

I don’t know whether to look at them or not, it all feels like the wrong move. What if they don’t like who I am now? The way I dress, speak, move. I want them to recognize me. I’m almost thirty, why do I care so much about what they think of me?

“We went ahead and ordered meat and other side stuff. You like fish cakes right? And beer? If not, I could get you something else.” Namjoon asks.

“N-No, that’s all fine. Thank you…”

More silence.

“I got spicy cucumber salad for you. I know how much you liked it then.” Jungkook says between the echoing quiet. Then.

“Oh yeah, I still do. And I still like-”

“Pickled radish.” Yoongi whispers, fiddling with his hands. They remember. He remembers.

I respond with a soft laugh, “Right.”

He smiles too, looking up at me. One day I’ll stop feeling whatever this is I feel for Min Yoongi, but as long as he stays just like this, I don’t think that will happen any time soon. There’s a delicate fluttering in my stomach as we keep eye contact with each other, like it’s all that time ago. I would call myself delusional, crazy, everything that means that I’m looking too much into it. But if I could print this moment on paper, you’d believe me.

“So you guys are on a hiatus? How has that been?” I question genuinely. Jimin totters in his seat, making a ‘tsk’ sound with his mouth. It reminds me of Hoseok. I wish they were all here, but I’m glad I at least have this.

“Taking a break has been great for most of us, but I’m still working on music and whatnot. So is Jungkook, but we definitely have more free time than we did a year ago. We wouldn’t have been able to go on a dinner like this if it were, say, 2021.” He says honestly. The boys nod in agreement.

“Really?” I raise my brows in shock.

“Yeah, we were robots for like, six years straight. Non-stop working. What about you?” Jimin tilts his head.

“Yeah, Kanako. We’re- I am- very curious about what you’ve been doing. You went to college when you left, didn’t you?” Namjoon says it as if it isn’t a sore topic. It is for me, and with the way Yoongi shut down privately it seems like it was the same for them too.

I play with the glass of water in front of me, “Yeah I did. I graduated with a degree in communications, so I work with my friend Keiko at the New York Times as an editor. She was doing an internship there and…managed to get us both in, I guess. I’m pretty lucky.” I admit.

Jimin’s mouth is agape, “Kanako, that's seriously impressive.”

I scoff, “Oh shush, nothing like being a global star. Mr. Nominated For A Grammy.”

Namjoon shakes his head playfully, “There’s the Kanako I remember.”

I smile to myself as I hear Namjoon’s comment, “But thanks Jimin.” I say.

Before he can reply a waiter comes in with multiple servings of all kinds of food. He places the raw meat besides the grill, following with the various side dishes all neatly surrounding the table. It’s so much food, something we definitely never did back then.

Once everything is settled, Yoongi grabs the tongs, pointing them at me.

“Make sure to eat a lot. It’s on us.”

JULY 10TH, 2023, 7:47PM

We’ve grown into a more comfortable banter as we all eat. Talking about celebrities they’ve met, encounters with fans in bathrooms, and something Namjoon wants to say to me.

He chews on the kimchi that sits in his mouth, covering it with his hand. “I mean it’s not that big of a deal, but now that you’re here I just wanted to tell you because it sort of is a big thing.”

“Go ahead Joon.” I assure him.

He swallows, “Well- uh. I’m bisexual. And I’m dating a guy. He’s cool.”

I widen my eyes. Definitely didn’t see that coming. I mean, kind of. He’s always been a very open-minded person, but I never heard him talk about any sort of crush. Besides that one time in a club, but I never assumed he was straight. Or anyone else, for that matter. I’m happy for him though. I know it must be hard for them to maintain relationships during all this chaos, but the dust has settled. And he seems happy, which is most important.

“Oh sweet.” I reply nonchalantly, hoping to not scare him away.

“That’s it? Sweet?” He chuckles, turning over the cooking bulgogi.

“Scratch that, I’m glad you found someone. That makes me happy you could do that in the midst of, you know everything that’s been going on for you. Where’d you meet?” I reply.

He sighs, “Mutual friends. It was hard to connect with other guys during the, you know, spotlight. I’m still not out obviously, but he’s really okay with it. We go to art galleries and dinners and such. It’s pretty serious.”

I grin as I sip my beer, “Is he as smart as you?”

“He tries to keep up.” Namjoon replies with a smirk.

Jimin perks his head up, “What about you Kanako? Anyone in your life?”

I gulp. It takes everything in me to not look at Yoongi. I hope the small beat after he asked the question isn’t obvious. I look down to my fish cake, “Not really.”

“Has there ever been? It’s been eleven years, you know.” He says. Ugh.

“You sound just like Keiko.” I mumble.

Namjoon tilts his head, “Are you and Keiko…”

I shake my head quickly, “No. Nope.” I respond to him, turning to Jimin. “Uh- some guys here and there but nothing ever serious. I’m pretty focused on my work. What about you, Jiminie?” I attempt to curb the conversation from myself. Trying to not make it obvious I’m hiding a deep, dirty secret that’s sitting across from me.

There’s an abrupt laughter that bounces off the table. I look around, confused. “What am I missing?” I say.

Jungkook laughs, “Jimin is the opposite of a monogamist.”

Jimin’s face washes over with an obvious scarlet, “I like to have fun, that’s all.”

I giggle and lean back in my seat, “Ahhh, I see.”

That was an unsurprising answer from him. And I’m sure with the fame there’s even more options for a guy like him. “Is it limited to just women?” I ask.

Jimin gasps, “Why does everyone ask that!”

Namjoon laughs hard, holding his stomach in the process. “Kanako is asking the real questions.” He chokes out whilst wiping tears from his eyes.

“But to answer your question, definitely not.” Jimin gives a cheeky look to me as he responds. It’s clear he’s growing more buzzed by the minute. I assume that night at the club sparked something in him. It’s fun, for now.

This news is all so raw to me but it’s so fluid. The aging only made the conversations better, more comfortable. There’s less hesitation and more openness. There’s still a silence in Yoongi’s corner, reminding me of how he was when I first met him. Shy. But the topic of conversation I know is something he doesn’t want to contribute to. Not after the awkward encounter I had with his supposed beau. His young, annoying beau.

“And you, Jungkook?” I ask.

Jimin pats the young boy on the arm, “Still afraid of women. But I think he was just having a hard time moving on from-”

“Shut up.” Jungkook is quick to quiet the tipsy man down. There is an obvious glow to Jimin’s cheeks as time passes, and I don’t remember how many glasses of beer he’s had if that tells you anything. His mouth is like a loose cannon. Things don’t feel great. The table turns quiet again. Something else I’m missing. Jimin shrugs.

“Let’s just say Yoongi isn’t the only one still hung up on you.” He mutters under his breath, taking a big gulp of his beer. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

“Jimin, really?” Namjoon looks at him in disbelief. Jungkook is also shocked, holding a hand up as if he’s stopped in his tracks. “I can’t believe you said that.” The young boy whispers.

Jimin tries to reach for Jungkook, slurring a small ‘I’msorry’ before Jungkook slides out of his seat to walk out of the room. Jimin follows the young boy in hopes to apologize. All I feel is second-hand embarrassment, confusion, and heaps of awkwardness. Yoongi sets down his chopsticks in a disappointed manner, exhaling loudly.

He looks at me for the second time today, “Don’t pay attention to him. He’s grown to be a messy drunk.” He says.

I nod and hang my head politely, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. But it might be too late for that, because before I can think I’m jolting my head back up in question.

“What did he mean, not the only one?” I ask, looking at the two men.

Namjoon bites his lip, “Not sure if that’s our place to say.”

But what does it mean? Is Yoongi still hung up on me? Is Jungkook? I didn’t think he ever felt that way towards me, he called me his sister for god's sake. Was it a cover-up? Did feelings develop over time? How did I not know? How did I not expect this? This gives everything a new meaning that I do not want.

I don’t want any of this. “I’m so sorry.” I whisper as I pick at my rice.

“It’s to be expected.” Yoongi responds, seriously.

His tone is indistinct which causes me to be a bit bewildered, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs apathetically, “Everything was…never concluded properly. You left things sort of a mess after you left.”

I scoff and cross my arms, blatantly offended. “A mess?”

Namjoon attempts to break up the rising tension, “Guys let’s not-”

But Yoongi has intentions. Everything is coming to the surface, I know it. I hear the words flow from Yoongi’s mouth like he’s rehearsed them. Like he’s always known what he was going to say, eleven years later.

“We loved you, and you left. You can’t expect us to not have feelings about it.”

We loved you. The same knife digs into me as I hear him.

“I’m not expecting anything. It’s just been-”

“Eleven years? Yeah, we know.” He laughs sarcastically. He always knows what I’m going to say next. In this moment I wish he knew nothing about me.

There’s a bubbling frustration within me that grows to its peak, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I loved you all too, okay?” My words begin to adhere to him, unbeknownst to me. It’s coming out. “I spent days and nights thinking about you. I wanted to come back, I wanted to call. But it would make- it would’ve made moving on so much harder.”

“Why did you want to?”

“Want to what?”

Namjoon places a hand on my shoulder to cool me down but I’m an unstoppable forest fire, trees and wildlife burning down in front of their eyes. They’ve watched me crumble so many times it’s almost unbelievable it’s happening all over again. Some things really don’t ever change.

“Move on, Kanako? Why!” Yoongi shouts.

I sit up from my seat, planting my hands on the table angrily, “Because I loved you! I had just started to and I knew I had to stop if I was ever going to heal! Don’t you get that? I was in an abusive relationship at eighteen years old, I didn’t even know half of the things that happened to me really did happen! I coped the best way I could, so fuck you for blaming eighteen year old me!” I breathe heavily after I finish. The bowl of rice has toppled over all over my feet but I’m too angry to notice. This is what I needed to say after all these years. This is my honest truth. I’ve freed myself of the guilt I’ve held for all these years.

Yoongi stays quiet, his gaze on mine as I stay above him. Namjoon looks at me too, aghast. I feel relieved but so big at the same time. Like a monster.

“Kanako…” Yoongi whispers. “I know, I-I’m sorry. That was…” His voice trails off.

I feel tears trickling down my face and wipe them quickly, slumping back down on the seat. Instead of running away, I stay. This time I will stay.

JULY 10TH, 2023, 9:00PM

Yoongi ended up paying for dinner, even with how much of a slight disaster it turned out to be. We ended up continuing talking, rather casually, after our argument. It was the best I could do without leaving again. I wanted to stay there and fix things. But it was better to ignore it.

Jungkook and Jimin stand outside, clearly done with a deep talk. Jungkook is smoking once again. I feel like I should say something about it, maybe even a joke. But I’m not sure if that’s my place anymore. Was it ever?

“Hey guys. Kanako. Sorry about that.” Jimin apologizes weakly. It’s obvious he’s sobered up a bit from the last time I saw him, but even under the street lights I can see he has a long way to go.

“Don’t worry about it.” I promise him. Jungkook throws down his cigarette like he’s done it a million times before. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and walks over to me, eyeing the sky. His familiar unwillingness for eye-contact is more obvious than ever.

“Hi Jungkook.” I say as he approaches me.

He looks over to the boys behind me, hesitant to speak. “I understand now. I can’t imagine at that age having to go through what you did.” He confesses. He pulls me in for a random but pleasant hug. His body is much more solid than I remember, not as easy to hold, but his scent has stayed the same. How is that even possible?

I accept the embrace and wrap my arms around him tightly, having to hold back tears. This feels so nice. I missed this. I wasted years longing for it again. There’s still an unanswered question of what exactly Jimin meant, but I let it slide. I let my mind clear completely to enjoy the present.

“I missed you so much Jungkook.” I muffle into his chest. My eyes water.

“Stay with me tonight. W-With us. Like old times.” He whispers as his head sits on top of mine.

My body is lit like a furnace. It’s comforting this time, not intense. They can read my mind so easily. I want to, I have to. For one night before they leave, I will.

“Okay.”

click here to read more of this story!

a/n: I know nothing about grown up jobs or how they work!!! keep that in mind dear god!!!

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screamingiminlovewithyou · 1 month ago

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Tell me about each show you’ve been to and your seats!!!

oh fun!!! I became a fan in 2009, but due to terrible anxiety and not-right medicine (thanks, Zoloft), I didn’t attend the Fearless tour when she came back around in 2010. I remember my sister and her friend were going but my mom said she couldn’t attend and I could go with my sister or not at all. The me of today reply regrets this.

2011- Speak Now Tour in Sunrise. 6/3/2011. This was my firsttttt concert! I wore this shirt and I think I was in 7th grade. That isn’t how I remember the shirt, it was the pictures from Hey Stephen in the Fearless Booklet. However, i do remember having a meltdown about my outfit and eating teriyaki chicken. We were in nosebleeds and I couldn’t really see a thing. I don’t remember it that much.

2011- Speak Now 11/13/11. She came back around and my mom and I got tickets in the lower bowl for like 97 each. It was SO much fun. I made a sign that said I love love love you but I was too shy to hold it up. She came so close on the love story float. I wore the haunted speak now shirt that I still have.

2013- Red tour Miami 4/13/13 (she loves Florida on the 13th). My mom and I went and I remember being at school and SO ready to go. I wore black glitter Keds. Black high waisted shorts. A red glitter 13 on my hands. And this shirt. My friend at the time (we just fell out after graduation but I loved her), had nosebleeds and my mom very kindly gave her her seat and sat with her aunt. We had a blast. Taylor sang today was a fairytale.

2015- 1989 tour NC. I think 6/15/15? Maybe? Or 6/8? Cursed trip due to my mom’s dreaded ex and I was so desperate to meet taylor i sort of put myself in a mood. However, I gave taylor nation a whole booklet of letters from fans. Last arena show I saw of hers.

2015- 1989 Tour Tampa 10/31/15. Went with the same friend and we had nosebleeds but it was the BEST! Leaving was a disaster filled with ant bites, being stranded, exploding diet cokes, and bus rides to unknown locations. We made it home though.

2018- Rep tour Tampa 8/14/18. Same friend and had a BLAST!! We had lower bowl and a great view. She sang invisible and the person who requested it was behind me and was extremely emotional lol.

2018- Rep Tour Miami 8/18/18- Got last minute tickets on StubHub for 100 (fuck!) and went with a different friend and my mom. Had last row seats but it was worth it! She sang breathe and I cried cause that song makes me think of my parents divorce and i didn’t want to hear it lol. My mom was also had lowkey sassy to me so I was a little irate. Had frat bros near me who spilled some beer on my leg.

2023- Eras Tampa- 4/14/23- Middle bowl but I didn’t wear my contacts and was so mad at myself. Magical nonetheless and she sang The Great War and YOYOK for the first time. I left needing so badly to go again that I was led onto a journey of desperation, scammers, and depression. I believe someone near me spilled some beer on me, AGAIN!

2023- Eras Minneapolis 6/24/23- Lowerbowl and amazing seats! Wack ass couple in front of me and the man was like nine feet tall and the girl was drunk and pissy and they completely blocked me from seeing. They were rude and I cried and my mom attempted to ask security for assistance but he was rude as fuck. I cried during the whole lover set cause I couldn’t see anything (of course you can dance and have fun but bro if you’re that tall and you guys are being that annoying have some decorum. I was just so happy to be there and so excited that my bubble was dramatically bursted when i realized i was completely visually blocked. But they ended up scooting over and so did i but I’ll never forgive them). Dear John and Daylight.

2024- Eras MIAMIIII 10/18/24. Last minute tickets. Restricted seats but the view was fine. We had an easy time seeing. Some drunk girls in front of us who also blocked our views and were asked by not just my mother (she can be a bit Karen-like at times) but others to move a little or chill and they were not having it…but eventually they just moved before taylor even came on. I wanted NOTHING more than a fearless or debut song, specifically Tim McGraw cause i never went to the fearless tour and I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE SANG IT!!!!!!!!!! With timeless. I also wanted a folklore song, specifically mirrorball or this is me trying and she sang TIMT. I weirdly had a moment in the car driving down where I felt like she was going to play daylight again and, yes, she did! But that’s okay. It was perfect and I’m so happy i went!!

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namorslutfanfiction · 2 years ago

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FAKE COUPLE TROPE WITH TENOCH PRETENDING TO DATE HIS FRIENDS SISTER TO PROTECT HER FROM A CRAZY EX

oooh i love a protective man

Summary: He was doing his best friend a favor. You were younger but only by 6 years so dating was believable. If it got your psycho ex to leave you alone, Tenoch was ready to help. He owed your brother after all. He just forgot how grown up you would be after all these years.

Fluff, hurt/comfort, and a little bit of violence and protection,

Tenoch was driving to the restaurant in downtown LA with you in the passenger seat. You were wringing your hands nervously in your lap, thinking about how crazy this all was. Tenoch glanced at you, feeling your anxiety rolling off you in waves.

"Hey, don't worry," Tenoch reassured you.

"Are you sure this is ok? I know you're doing this because you're Ricky's friend but you're so famous now," You were biting your lip going over the events of the past couple weeks.

When your ex had broken into your house and left you a note, that was your brother, Ricardo's, last straw. There wasn't enough evidence to get a restraining order and he didn't trust your ex to adhere to the law anyway. Tenoch was in town for a shoot and Ricardo had asked for his help. Unfortunately, your crazy ex was old school and would leave you alone if he saw you 'belonged' to someone else. Tenoch owed Ricardo big time, and posing as his sister's boyfriend for awhile didn't seem too difficult.

"It's fine. I already told you. Remember we've known each other for years and just reconnected. Ricky just wants to make sure you're safe and so do I. It's only until you fly off to your new job in Europe and I fly to New York for my next movie. Then in a few months we can release word that we broke up. But you'll be safely on another continent. It will work out," Tenoch explained as he pulled up to the fancy restaurant.

You eyed the entrance of the place, dreading going in. You weren't one for such fancy venues, preferring bars and clubs. But Ricky had insisted that your first staged date should be extravagant to 'show that Tenoch was a man with power an influence'. You had rolled your eyes but knowing your exe's background he would be intimidated by Tenoch for several reasons.

The valet came up and Tenoch handed them the keys before moving to the passenger side and helping you out of the sports car. Tenoch scoffed at the extravagant rental that was once again Ricky's idea. The actor tucked your hand in his elbow and led you inside where you were immediately seated.

"Ay chiquitin, relax. Enjoy the dinner. We can catch up and by the time we get out of here there will be some paparazzi and this whole game can begin," Tenoch was smiling cheekily at you, "I do have to say you look beautiful. Don't tell your brother I said that or he might kick my ass again."

You couldn't help but laugh. Ricardo and Tenoch had known each other since high school and stayed in contact once your family had moved to the United States. You had to admit it was cool being friends with a celebrity who was also your adolescent crush for years.

"Let's get you a margarita. I know it's your favorite and it will help you enjoy yourself," Tenoch said, subtly waving for a waiter.

You settled in and eventually you and Tenoch were catching up. He was regaling you with stories of his movies and shows and you were catching him up on where life took you after university. You had always remembered him to be a jovial and kind man, he hadn't changed.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Tenoch asked as he helped you into your jacket and took your hand. He entwined your fingers like it was a habit and spoke closely to you. You cursed him for his easy affection, a trait of being an actor. You felt your heart skip a beat at the contact.

"Yes, it was amazing, thank you, Tenoch," You replied as you made your way back to the front of the restaurant. Through the glass of the doors you could already see the flashing lights of the paparazzi. You gripped Tenoch's hand tighter. He squeezed your hand to ease you.

"Don't worry, I told them to bring the car already. We won't go out there until it's up front. They just have to take a few pictures of us holding hands, and going home together," Tenoch was looking out at the crowd. He hadn't expected so many to show up, but times really had changed. Tenoch watched as the car was pulled up and the valet got the doors open and waiting for them. He turned to you with a soft smile, "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," You grasped his hand tighter and let him lead the way. The onslaught of camera flashes and yelling was overwhelming. Tenoch did a good job of waving them off and keeping you close. He did eventually wrap his arm around your shoulders to keep you from getting knocked over.

Once in the car he looked you over, worried, "Estas bien? American paparazzi can be very aggressive. I had forgotten."

You just nodded, breathing heavily and closing your eyes. He patted your head affectionately, "It's alright, just breathe. I'll take you back to the condo."

You were halfway back to Tenoch's rented condo when you started hyperventilating. The anxiety finally getting to be too much for you. Tenoch immediately pulled over and shut the car off.

"Y/n, it's ok. I'm going to hold your hands, alright?" Tenoch slowly and gently took your hands in his, rubbing his thumbs in circles. "I need you to breathe with me ok. You're breathing too fast and I don't want you to faint."

You struggled to nod, your eyes still closed. But once he started counting out his deep breaths you started to follow. Your shaking short inhales soon grew in length and strength. You focused on the feeling of his hands on yours and the sound of his voice. When you finally calmed completely you opened your eyes to meet Tenoch's soft and worried gaze.

"I'm sorry. I should have remembered that paparazzi here are different than in Mexico. I didn't mean for you to get overwhelmed," Tenoch apologized, letting go of one of your hands to run his own through his hair. His other hand entwined with yours on the center console.

"Don't be sorry. You're already doing so much for me," You reassured the actor.

He gazed at you softly, a sad look in his eyes, "I wish I could have stopped your ex from hurting you. Stopped him from making you so afraid. When we were younger I admired your fearlessness. Remembering how you fought so hard to play on the boys' futbol team because there wasn't one for girls, drove me to go after my dreams to. Regardless of whatever arbitrary labels or rules there are against me."

You felt you skin flush warm with embarrassment, "You remember that? I was just an arrogant little kid."

"No, you were an inspiration. You still are. You're a survivor and I will always admire you. Now let's go inside. Your brother will be here to pick you up in a little while. I don't want him to think I made you cry or something," Tenoch grinned at you and you returned the expression.

```

You went on four other dates with Tenoch and he made sure that each one was perfect, romantic, and comfortable. A part of your heart ached over the fact that it was an act. After the first one your ex had blown up your phone, social media, and showed up at your empty house, thankfully you were staying with your brother and his family. After the second date, your ex still tried to call and stalk your social media. By the third date, he was calling you and leaving voicemails, crying and begging for you not to cheat on him. That particular one made you furious.

By the fourth date, tabloids were running wild trying to figure out who you were and if you were really dating Tenoch Huerta. Tenoch, for his part, was having fun with it. He was going out of his way to turn women down saying he was 'currently seeing someone' knowing it would spread like wild fire. A few of your friends caught wind of it and you had to keep the lie going, just in case.

You didn't expect your life being flipped upside down when Tenoch went on a late night show and said he was dating. He had joked about how they considered keeping it a secret since he was your brother's friend. But with his blessing, you and Tenoch went public and that's why everyone was seeing you two around town.

Following that interview, you had a few paparazzi stalking you. Some people would take pictures of you while you were out at Starbucks or going for a run. But the worst was your extended family coming out of the woodwork trying to get a bit of the chisme. The relentless texts, facebook messages, and wall posts from cousins and aunts you hadn't heard from in years was so much worse than the occasional hate comments from Tenoch's fans.

Though the hate comments were met with some defense from some of his older, more mature fans. But when they started truly digging in to your past you felt violated. You had forgotten to private every single social media account and eventually someone dug up pictures of you with your ex, who was older than Tenoch. People started making insinuations about your 'daddy issues'. Then TMZ had found out more about your ex and released it to the public with as much detail as possible.

```

You sat on Tenoch's couch watching the TV. He sat next to you, holding your hand. Ricky was behind the couch pacing and cursing under his breath. They were talking about your exe's criminal history, the battery charges, the drug use, and how you were some kind of idiot that somehow caught Tenoch in her web.

"What in the actually fuck does that mean? Like you having a shitty ex makes you unworthy to date someone? Tenoch you have to do something, cabron! You can't let them bad mouth your woman like that!" Ricky raved, slamming his fist on the back of the couch.

"Look, it's not that big a deal. I mean the whole point of us doing this is for him to leave me alone and he has. In two more weeks I'll be on my flight and then this will be over. I don't care what anyone thinks. even I know I was stupid for dating him and letting him do what he did," You tried to diffuse the growing agitation radiating off your brother.

"I don't want them to think badly of you," Tenoch gazed at you with a tenderness in his eyes that had been growing with each hour you spent together.

"They don't matter to me. As long as you like me then we're good," You admitted, hoping he didn't realize the double meaning.

"Well, I for one don't want anyone to think my sister isn't good enough for some big shot actor," Ricky said as he rounded the couch and sat heavily in the arm chair. He pointed at Tenoch, "Take her as your date to that POC Film panel and screening thing this weekend. Show her off and make sure no one says another bad thing about my little sister. Or I'll kick your ass."

"Ricky! We already agreed that we wouldn't be making any official appearances. It will make it easier when we separate and then announce our break up," You chided your brother.

"You can still break up! But like hell am I gonna let them think that Tenoch 'escaped' from you. I'd rather they think you dumped him and the only way to do that is for them to see how amazing you are and how in love he is," Ricky shot back, gesticulating wildly.

"Hey, hey, calm down. I think your brother is right," Tenoch said, still running his thumb along your hand. "It will be better for you if the world thinks highly of you. I don't want them holding your past against you. It's one red carpet. Just think of it like another date, our last one since I'll be busy the next couple weeks before we both leave."

You looked at Tenoch then back at your brother. Both of them expecting another blow up or at least some reply. Finally you sighed and nodded your head. "Okay. Just this once."

...

Tenoch had his hand entwined with yours again. You hated to admit that you would miss his warmth and comfort. Your brother and family had been a balm to your trauma, but spending all this time with the actor had really helped you heal. He had given you the room to rediscover yourself and had been a comfort when anxiety would get the better of you.

"Are you ready?" Tenoch was turned to you. The car had stopped and you were about to walk on the red carpet to officially debut as the actor's girlfriend. It still made your heart race even if it was all an act. A part of you had very much fallen for the man. You nodded in response to his question, gazing at him.

"Don't be nervous. You look amazing and I can honestly say I am a lucky man to have you by my side," The sincerity that melted off of him made you blush. His hand cupped your cheek and he leaned in to kiss your forehead, a habit that had formed over the last few weeks

You debated on saying your next words out loud, but reminded yourself, it was now or never. "I'm going to miss you Tenoch. Thank you for loving me, even if it was an act, it means the world to me to be able to feel safe again."

Tenoch guided your hand up to his lips and kissed it, "I will miss you too, hermosa. Let's go."

With that he pushed the door open and turned to help you out as well. Lights flashed and the paparazzi yelled questions. You could already hear reporters talking about you. You were frozen in front of the car but Tenoch rested a hand on the small of your back and guided you forward. The lights flashed faster when he leaned over to whisper in your ear, "Your ex, have you ever seen him with a beard?"

The question startled you, but you schooled your face, "Once. But I made him shave it, why?"

Tenoch pulled you close to his side by your waist, his grip was protective, there was an icy coldness to his eyes that hadn't been there before. He kept smiling for the cameras as he spoke to you, "On the left, in the crowd. Blue cap and orange lanyard. He's here."

Your heart constricted in your chest, and a cold coil of anxiety dropped into your belly. You kept your smile on but your eyes quickly glanced to the left. Your next step would have made you tumble if Tenoch hadn't had a hold of you. It was him. There was no mistake. You met Tenoch's gaze, terrified.

Once out of the main photo area and moving towards the press, Tenoch pulled you close, speaking into your ear, "Go inside ahead of me. My manager can go with you. I need to work the line and keep an eye on him."

"No, Tenoch, please I don't want to be by myself," You pleaded, already shaking like a leaf with tears springing up at the corner of your eyes.

Your pleas broke his heart. The actor was also terrified, worried about what might happen to you. It was impulsive, an act of giving and receiving comfort when he cupped your cheek and kissed you firmly but chastely on the lips. You didn't have a chance to react before he pulled away. Tenoch made to speak but was interrupted by a monstrous cry from across the carpet.

You both turned in the direction of the noise. It was chaos as your ex barreled through the crowd, shoving people aside, hopped the barricade and made a beeline for the two of you. There were screams as people scattered at the sight of a long knife in his hand. Tenoch instinctively shoved you behind him. Your knees buckled and you fell to your knees.

Tenoch dodge the left hand swing of the knife and, with his full body, sucker punched the hostile man in the jaw. The sound of his fist hitting flesh was followed by shocked silence across the carpet. You watched as your ex fell back and to the floor, out cold.

Another moment of silence as Tenoch turned to you, then the flurry started again. People were gathering, paparazzi were snapping pictures, and security ran to your ex on the floor. More security arrived as Tenoch came to your side.

"Are you alright? I didn't mean to push you that hard," He asked, worriedly checking you for injuries. Tenoch cupped your face, making you meet his eyes. The shock wore off as you saw the care and fear there. You glanced at the men putting your ex onto a stretcher. Security was gathered around you, trying to control the mob of paparazzi taking pictures and yelling questions. When you glanced at Tenoch again you finally let your tears fall in relief.

"Shh, I'm here. I've got you. He can't hurt you," Tenoch pulled you into his arms, kissing your temple as he helped you to stand. "Let's go inside, away from all this."

...

To say it was a big story would be an understatement. The attack at the carpet went viral as more footage was released or leaked from the different outlets that had witnessed it. Tenoch was being lauded as a hero and passionate lover for defending you in the face of danger. You were finally receiving pity and empathy from fans and the world. No one seemed to doubt your relationship now that it was basically over. You hadn't asked Tenoch about the kiss. You hadn't talked to him much at all after the panel.

His agency was fielding calls and interviews. You refused to speak to anyone about what happened and people were actually respecting your privacy. Tenoch had already left for New York, with only a brief phone call as a good bye. It made your heart ache not being able to see him one last time but you knew it was for the best.

"Alright, give me a hug," Ricky said, as you made it to the TSA line. You were about to board your flight across the world to start anew. You held your brother tight as he kissed your cheek, "Call me when you land. We'll be there in a couple weeks to help you with everything so don't rush with the unpacking."

"I know. I love you," You shouldered your bag as you turned to the line.

"Love you too. Be safe. Oh wait, I forgot," Ricky searched his pockets.

You turned to your brother just as he found what he was looking for. He held his hand out to you, holding a little envelope, "Tenoch wanted me to give this to you. I don't know what's in it."

You hesitated then took the small envelope and shoved it in your pocket. "Thank you."

Before you could leave, Ricky stopped you one more time, "He likes you, ya know. I'm okay with it."

"What?" Your heart skipped a beat.

"I know you're going to take your time starting a new life and all that. But give him a call, when you're settled. He'd be happy to hear from you. Now go. You don't want to be late," Ricky gestured for you to move alone. You could only nod as you turned away, processing what he had just said.

When you sat in your seat on the plane you pulled out the little envelope. It was really just a paper folded and taped in on itself. Inside was a simple message, "Rome is beautiful in the spring."

...

Over 12 hours later you were finally rolling your way through arrivals at FCO in Rome. You had your bags lugged onto a cart while you tried to switch out your sim card with one hand. You were startled when someone came up beside you.

"You shouldn't walk with your head down like that, hermosa," Came the familiar voice of Tenoch.

You looked up at his smiling face, feeling a grin spread across your own. Before he could say anything else, you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. You both melted into the embrace, breaking only for air, and to hold each other tighter.

...

KK that was interesting.

Review, Reply, comment, reblog. all of the above.

#tenoch huerta #tenoch huerta x reader #tenoch huerta fanfic #tenoch huerta mejia #tenoch x reader #tenoch huerta mejia x reader #jose tenoch huerta mejia #fluff #hurt/comfort

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