#like I just love the mundane shit in my life so much it’s painful and I gotta make a print about it

[saltedsnailstudio]

I thrifted this adorable framed-flower-checkerboard-print tie for just three bucks this week and love it so much that I immediately had to carve a block about it

[dogbunni]

I have been on semi-haitus bc I recently got diagnosed with hypertension (at 24!!!! what da fuck!) so I've been trying to reduce some stress in my life while also trying to like figure out what I need to change diet/lifestyle wise and get all the testing done that I need to get done and figure out medication w my Dr. it's been kind of a lot

[nekropsii]

ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:

This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.

Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.

MEULIN LEIJON

People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.

ARANEA SERKET

People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.

DAMARA MEGIDO

People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.

MEENAH PEIXES

She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.

Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.

LATULA PYROPE

Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.

KURLOZ MAKARA

His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real. He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.

HORUSS ZAHHAK

I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...

PORRIM MARYAM

No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.

Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.

RUFIOH NITRAM

This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long. But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency. Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.

MITUNA CAPTOR

Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.

KANKRI VANTAS

To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.

When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.

CRONUS AMPORA

I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.

[with-my-calamitous-love]

STARRY EYES SPARKIN’ UP MY DARKEST NIGHT

touya todoroki x reader

you and touya find solace together, dancing barefoot in the kitchen.

separate from my other touya x reader series. i missed writing short little tidbits for him 🤍 i can write a part two if you guys want! slight nsfw themes

inspired by call it what you want (and all too well)

honestly, he though it was stupid.

after a 2 hour long session of touya being knee deep between your thighs, taking you to heaven and back on the couch, he allows you to pull him towards the kitchen. here, he’s wearing nothing but jeans that he can’t even be bothered to zip up. not that you’re complaining- he’s sculpted like a masterpiece.

touya’s enjoying the view as well, watching you in a big t-shirt and not much else. if he can’t dance, he’ll at least admire the way the fabric clings to you in the glow of the fridge lightbulbs.

some american singer plays in the background, singing about her reputation. shes not the only noise going on, however. the quiet domesticity of your shitty apartment is loud and clear to the two of you. and somehow, its more romantic than grand gestures or fancy, expressions of love.

for a man who never knew the love of home, he sure cherished the fact that his and your laundry were both thrown into the same cycle. he loves the smell of rice cooking in the fridge, and handily fixing that leak in the sink you didn’t know was there. he chuckles when you join him in the shower, not being able to withstand the cold temperatures he prefers to bathe in. he loves the sound of running water when he washes the dishes after you cook, and your soft breathing when he hushes you to sleep.

its so mundane. so simple. so familiar.

nobody’s heard from him in months. his scarred hands make their way to your waist, holding you as you sway back and forth. you fit in his arms like a daydream, his head hanging low as he decides this is the place he wants to be.

your forehead presses against his, searching those burning blue eyes for any signs he may not really love you the way he says. any doubts or any lies.

you find none.

you step on his toes accidentally and he teases you, because of course he does- “thought you were the expert on this, doll.” he smirks, flashing that same shit-eating grin you came to love.

you roll your eyes, hushing him up by moving in closer. “i told you, i am. you’re horrible at this.” you chuckle. he loves that laugh of yours.

“i’m a stone-cold villain, not some ballroom dancer.” he reminds you, though the way he suddenly twirls you around says otherwise. maybe he just wanted to see the way your hair dances around your body, your simple beauty captivating him enormously.

touya loves you like you’re brand new. the way he looks at you, taking in every detail silently. to him, you make dancing barefoot in the kitchen look like a sky full of stars.

suddenly, all the judgement from your past disappears. the heartbreak, jokers taking swings at you and liars calling you one fade to nothing when you look at him. you crumble his castles, the walls he builds up just with your gentle touch. he doesn’t understand how you do it, or even why he loves it so much.

for all his life, he’s made the same mistakes. bridges burn, people hurt and baring scars- he almost never learns. but when he looks at you, god- he knows he’s done one thing right. he finds it in him to laugh with you, to feel the happiness he never knew he was allowed to experience. yeah, you’re definitely the 1 thing he’s done right.

“you know you can’t save me, right?” he asks in a whisper, head dipping down to your ear. and he��s right. he’s someone who, no matter how much you love him, you can’t burn stronger than his flames. he wants to be sure. he wants to know you’re here, dancing with him in the kitchen of your apartment, willing to get your heartbroken. he’s steeling himself for the pain he’s about to cause you.

if love could save us, we’d live forever.

but right now, he’ll keep dancing with you.

“…i know.” you whisper, silent resignation in your voice. at the very least, you two have right now.

if you could, you’d wear TT around your neck. not because he owns you- touya could never own or even deserve someone as kind and light as you. but he can say that he knows you, and loves you harder than anyone you have ever known. his tortured heart burns the brightest for you.

its more than anyone else could say. they could berate you, call you two criminals and lash out in violence. but the two of you challenged them- let them call it what they want. they don’t know what it really is, anyway.

for @crushmeeren whose kind words on a vent post i made earlier this week inspired me to write🤍🫧

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

(to the tune of Avril Lavigne's sk8terboi)

He was a human battering ram.

She was a recon sniper.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Headcannons - Fit for a King - König x fem!OC fanfic

Instead of making a y/n fic, I decided to create an original female character because I ususally write all of my stuff in POVs. Due to posting the chapters often right after I've written them some of the context and the characterization might not be explicit in every single piece, some of the information is only gonna get revealed down the road.

(TW: alcoholism, death, violence)

Karina Müller is almost 30 years old, she served in the Norwegian military from right after school until the death of her brother who was KIA on a mission together. She fell off the wagon after that, feeling responsible for his death and effectively being shunned by her family after that. Her pick of poison was alcohol and it got so bad that she more than once was drunk on the job which led to her getting kicked out.

The years after that she spent getting help, trying to get clean and going back to a civilian life, but the military was what she knew, so the civilian jobs didn't stick and she started to work as a mercenary, now a dry alcoholic. Which might be an issue for some contractors, but KorTac doesn't really bat an eye.

She's a compassionate person who loves to laugh, she's seen enough shit not to take any from her teammates and can stand her ground when faced with any challenge thrown her way. She's still working through some stuff, coming to terms with her past, but she has an optimistic spirit and a strong will.

Even though the Colonel seems scary at first, she learns pretty quickly that he is to be respected in training and on the battlefield, but on a personal level he's really not that bad. The 6'10'' killing machine, Austrian war criminal (insert "what murdeeer?!"-meme here) is quite an anxious person when it comes to basic human interaction.

Shouting orders at his team, stomping his enemies into the ground is more comfortable to him than just talking about mundane stuff with other people, he mostly keeps to himself (except for Horangi because that little shit would never leave him alone). And for the first time in a long time, Müller makes him wish that he could just go up to people and strike up a normal conversation like a normal person (don't we all).

König is 38 years old (we don't know his full name) and has the biggest metalhead dad vibes without actually having any children himself (his favourite band is Death, although he listens to a bunch of different ones, it's also their merch shirt Müller steals in "Are you wearing my t-shirt?").

When he started out in the military, he shaved his long metalhead hair off because that was the way to go back then, but he let it grow back when he was older and already Colonel. He has gauged ears and a plethora of tattoos all over his body because the soft pain of body modifications and working out until he almost passes out are his ways of dealing with his anxiety and stress. His body is a testament to that.

He has a huge scar on the right side of his face from when he got beaten to a pulp by his bullies at school, something he never let happen again after that (five on one was really unfair). His nose has been broken two times and sometimes his tattoos get destroyed by battle injuries, but he doesn't really care about that - or his looks in general. He's a soldier and not a model.

So the reason why he's always wearing the selfmade hood is not the scar. He prefers not to show his feelings to others, staying hidden underneath the mask for his own comfort, even if it makes him scarier also in situations where he doesn't want to be.

(CW: some nsfw headcannons ahead, talk about not wanting to have children) They're both switches, though König is leaning more on the Dom-side while Müller is a sub who likes to brat a little too much, just to see her man falter (for example when she calls him a good boy in random scene #1).

Müller is bisexual, something she discovered when serving in an all-women-taskforce of the Norwegian military (we don't really know about König's sexuality though). She decided a long time ago that she doesn't want to have children (she doesn't see herself leaving service again anytime soon and given her past, she doesn't see herself fit to become a mother), so she got her tubes tied. Which also comes in handy when a certain Colonel's favourite pasttime (well, actually second favourite) is leaving creampies inside her (no 'unexpected pregnancy' trope in this household).

König definitely eats pussy for his own pleasure, begging Müller to let him eat her out in "Sit" or losing a little friendly competition for a sexual favour in "But no funny business" (oh and he definitely steals her panties at any chance he gets). She's totally not opposed to servicing him as well, but the size of his dick makes this a whole endeavour (like seen in "Open wide, Prinzessin").

They match each other's energy pretty well, just going at it like rabbits at every chance they get, which sometimes proves to be difficult as they're sneaking around in secret.

Their arrangement is kind of a fuckbuddy/fwb-situation, they fuck hard and rough, without ever really kissing (the mask stays on), but after a while feelings start to get in the way... After all they do belong together <3

Read more at the Fit for a King - Masterlist or keep an eye out for the AO3 link - coming soon.

[cryingisnecessaryfanfics]

Genshin characters and you putting lotion on their scars

Hiiii. So I have many many scars and this morning while I was putting lotion on I thought, huh wouldn't it be nice to have someone do this for me? To give such a mundane act of care... so romantic! 

Anyways, not everyone has scars like me but all our favorite genshin boys and girls are fighters and that means they have to have some sort of scar! 

Feel free to request more characters for a part two to this! I'll be doing a part two regardless, but if you have a great idea for a character I'll definitely incorporate it! 

Characters: Diluc, Tartaglia, Kazuha, and Beidou. 

part. 2

Diluc 

We all know that Diluc is commonly head cannoned to have a fuck ton of scars. Bro probably doesn't do shit with them either. You'd probably catch him with the incessant itch. Dear god, that is horrible, for you non-scar havers, the itch is nonstop, and when you scratch it's painful like a rash except all burny and dry. Please help him moisturize his scars. He's gotta be in so much pain. 

You've caught him with his hand under his shirt again, the rapid scratching looking frantic as he itches. 

"Diluc," you murmur a hand catching his arm and stilling his movements. "Did you put on your lotion this morning?" 

You watch him sigh, his scratching hand reluctantly making its way to yours instead. 

"No love, I didn't have time." 

"You can't not have time for your health Diluc!" You chastise him gently, though your tone holds some frustration. You're already moving to the bedroom, dragging him along and pushing him onto the bed. 

"Stay." You say with a pointed finger and you move to the connected bathroom, fetching the lotion out of the cabinet. 

Diluc has already taken his shirt off by the time you get back to the bedroom, resigned to his fate. You smile at him in approval and his gaze softens just a bit. 

"You have to be doing this every day," you remind him and you can practically hear him rolling his eyes. 

"I know." He retorts but it lacks the sarcasm and retains the hint of affection he tries to suppress. 

"Are you sure? Cause you can't seem to do it properly anyways." You mumble and he huffs the slightest laugh. You can't help your heart melt every time he does it, even if it's small. You can't help your smile either, as you gather lotion on your fingertips and start to spread it onto his skin. 

Diluc seems to enjoy your ministrations because he lets out a hum in contentment, eyes falling closed as you massage the lotion into his skin. 

You let your hands glide along his chest, spreading across his scars as you admire and recall each one. 

"Thank you, my love." 

Tartaglia

I personally head cannon Ajax to have self-harm scars but I won't mention anything about it here. I think he probably has really erratic and odd scars. The abyss probably had all kinds of horrors with different ways of causing harm. But since Ajax is the type to purposely get himself into a fight he'll most certainly lose, I also think he's the type to purposely let himself get injured for the thrill of it. He would wear his scars as a sort of armor, he acts cocky about them but is actually quite shameful. 

You catch his eyes lingering in the mirror just before you bathe together. He can't help but feel conflicted over the scars he's accumulated. On one hand, he feels proud that he could have survived such horrible atrocities. Gone through hell and come out the other side with battle scars and his life. On the other hand, he now has to live with permanent markings on his body, an equally permanent reminder of the past that haunts him. 

“Ajax?” You murmur, a hand finding its way to his bicep, absent-mindedly tracing the scars that reside there. “Are you alright?” 

Your voice snaps him out of his trance-like state and he once again puts on his cheerful facade. 

“Just admiring my amazing body!” He quips and winks at you in the mirror but you frown at his masked emotions. 

“Don't bullshit me, Ajax.” He all but flinches at your harsh reply. “I know you better than that, love.” 

His mask falls and the man you know returns, a frown adorning his boyish features. You follow his gaze to your hand on his arm and suddenly you know. He must see the realization on your face because he speaks up before you can say anything. 

“You know me better than anyone.” He sighs and his hand comes up to cover yours. “I just don't like them is all.” He doesn't need to state it outright, he knows you know what he means. 

“If it means anything, I like them.” Your words are hushed and he can feel your hand leave his body as you shift away from him. 

“Why’s that?” He asks as you busy yourself looking through the cabinets. 

“Reminds me that you're not perfect. That you have weaknesses just like anyone else. That you're more human than you like to believe.” You say this nonchalantly like it's not the most genuine thing anyone's ever said about him. He watches you emerge from the cabinet with a bottle of lotion and a smile. You let the words sink in as you gather lotion in your hand. 

“I like them because they’re a part of you. They tell the story of how you became strong and how you weren't always that way.” You can't help but hum fondly as his eyes follow your movements. How your gentle hands caress him in a way not even his mother has since he was fourteen. Your hands glide up his shoulder blades, curve around to reach his front, and touch every part he hates. 

“I love them because I love you. All of you.” 

Kazuha

His bandaged hand is scarred from when he grabbed his friend's vision. That shit’s gotta hurt so bad, burn scars are a pain in the ass to take care of too. Especially since they’re so sensitive to sunlight. It makes sense why he would keep his hand bandaged even after his wound has healed. Though it's gotta be so itchy under there. Please be careful when handling his hand, scars like that are painful for years after they’ve healed. (I feel like he would be hesitant to show you it, so the scenario is your first time seeing/taking care of it.)

“Please, can I help you?” You’ve asked him this more times than you can count, always pleading gently to see his scar and getting the same rejection every time. So you don't expect it when his red eyes go dark and he just barely nods.  

“Okay.” He says quietly and you can only blink in shock before gathering yourself and leading him to the bathroom. 

He sits on the edge of the tub and patiently waits for you to find the salve he puts on his hand. Your heart beats faster than you like at the sight of his eyes so far gone. Maybe he's disassociating? You don't bother asking as you settle down in front of him. 

Your gentle hands take his bandaged one, and you look up at him to make sure it's still okay. He nods again and you continue wordlessly, deft fingers unraveling white gauze with ease. It doesn't take long for his skin to be exposed and you take in the sight of his scar. 

It takes a lot to not wince or grimace, the burn has left more scar than skin. The tissue is still red and angry, the texture severely affected in odd pattern-like ways. But you manage to smile sadly at the sight, how much willpower must it take to willingly catch a burning object and hold onto it? To ignore every instinct and cling to something so painful. To say Kazuha is resolute and tenacious would be a massive understatement. 

“Tell me if it hurts.” You mumble, wholly engrossed in caring for him. Your hands gather the salve in your fingers and start to gently spread it across his palm. His arm tenses up but he says nothing. 

The process is short, simply letting the salve sit on top of his skin, not daring to massage it in. He seems grateful for this. It's not long before you're wrapping new gauze around his palm threading it between his fingers. 

“Thank you,” he whispers when you're done, slipping down to the floor with you and hugging your waist. He buries his head in your chest and you hold him there. 

“Anytime, love.” 

Beidou

The scar under her eye patch, I know a lot of people think she doesn't have one but for the sake of this, imagine she does. I think she's probably less forthcoming about the eyepatch because of the scar. Do you guys remember in her hangout how she was talking about her childhood and how she chased a dog to get its food and had to fight it? I feel like the dog probably scratched her eye and left her partially blind and scarred. And that part of the hangout is one of the only times we see Beidou feeling solemn, it’s gotta be a tough memory for her. 

She tells you the story the first time she lets you see it. For once, her demeanor is less than confident, no longer renowned captain of the crux, uncrowned queen of the sea, only Beidou. 

It's very obviously an old scar, not very big or intense. When you see it you focus more on her actual eye, her iris is a faded pinkish-red color, the pupil distorted and uneven. 

“I can still see a little bit on that side but it's all messed up and blurry, so I wear the eye patch.” She explains and you frown at the thought. 

“Did it hurt?” You ask, voice quiet and tentative. 

“I… don't really remember, to be honest.” Her eyes seem far away at the thought. “I just remember being so hungry. It was the only thing I could think about.” 

Your eyes study her expression, one you've never seen on her before. Its sorrow, longing, and pure pain all wrapped up in one. You let your finger trail the length of the scar on her eyelid. The lotion spreads with the motion, smearing white against her pale skin. The eyepatch has left a tan line that would've been comical if not for the sad story behind it. 

“Thank you for telling me,” you whisper, “and for letting me see it.” 

“Of course.” She says. “I trust you.”

[beanghostprincess]

I'm gonna shamelessly drop some silly headcanons for the Cross Guild and also Shuggy:

• Shanks absolutely told Mihawk to his face "hey I think you and my boyfriend should hook up"

".... Excuse me?"

"I said you and Blue should hook up! :)"

".................. what percentage is that rum-?"

"I'm not drunk! I just think you'd like him!"

"Shanks. Redhair. I begrudgingly think of you as an acquaintance with whom I am not averse to spending time with, but if you ever insinuate I would "hook up" with a clown of all things, I will sever your other arm and beat you to death with it."

".... hot."

"You need professional help."

• cut to several years later, Mihawk is looking at Buggy, laid out on the ground on his tummy and playing with a baby humandrill. Oh, he thinks, watching Buggy coo and smile, quiet for once, sweet and unfiltered, oh no

• falling in love, for Mihawk, was a gradual decline, slow and steady until he suddenly got kicked off a cliff roadrunner style. He was warming up to the clown, was beginning to see what perhaps Shanks saw in him, was growing begrudgingly fond. Then one day, he happened across Buggy curled over onto a desk late at night, his cartoonishly large red outfit loose around him, drowning his limbs. With a touch of something approaching compassion, he designs to move the other to the couch at the very least, but then he sees Buggy is kneading the spare fabric in his sleep, not unlike a cat. When Mihawk scoops him up, the swordsman almost drops him because humans do not purr, and yet... shit. Shit. The Clown is cute. Who authorized this? Seas damn it all, he owes the Red bastard 250 Berri

• Crocodile resisted love with all the aplomb of a feral koala on crack. He outright REFUSED to fall for a clown, let alone THIS clown in particular. Then Buggy goes and does something absolutely mundane but cripplingly sweet like making his coffee PERFECTLY and then asking about the newest batch of strawberrywanis that just hatched. Croc gets affection aggression and is fuming over how much he wants to kiss this dumbass.

Buggy goes and makes it worse by making a soft comment about having been looking into their care himself out of interest and brings up maybe looking into expanding, what with the 'Wani yield, something Croc has been debating for future endeavors because while the current set up is okay and will remain alright, it won't always be. He is frothing. He is feral. He wants to kiss the clown. Shit. SHIT. How dare he?!

• Buggy is simply Oblivious. He has Shanks (and wowza if that hadn't been nice, seeing his boyenemy again after a highly traumatic experience like prison-and-then-war), and he knows he has a bit of a crush on his new business partners, but there's no way they'll like HIM back. It's simply not a Thing. He'll make do with self indulgent fantasies for now.

• Shanks is across the new world, sipping rum out of a sippy cup and grinning at the denden bc He Knows. He knows damn well that nobody is immune to his baby's charm. Nobody Is Immune To Buggy.

• Luffy wakes from a nap in a cold sweat like "my sand dad is about to kiss my clown mom. Zoro. Zoro wake up your dad is about to fuck my mom. Zoro-"

My favorite thing about Cross Guild falling in love is the inevitable way in which both Crocodile and Mihawk swear on their life they will NOT IN A MILLION YEARS fall for somebody as pathetic and ridiculous as the clown. And yet. And yet, they fall and it is painful to go through and they hate every second of it. But it goes from "I wanna kill him" to "He's okay" to "I guess he is cute" to "I would kill for him" in, like, months. Which for them feels like seconds. And they want to die.

And Buggy is completely oblivious, of course, he thinks they hate him. They are just two neurodivergent men who do not know how to communicate their feelings because they have been on their own for too long. So they are just. They're idiots.

Also, Luffy and Zoro reacting to Bughawk has to be the funniest things in the world-

[90sbee]

You are my canvas, I am your doll

Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader

1k words. Also on ao3.

And when you two pull apart, he looks even more desirable. Full of need, of love, pupils dilated and lips parted. You caress his eyebrow gently, eyes focused on the way his eyelashes —coated with your mascara and the smudged eyeliner— look on him.

Leon and you attend a party. You just had to do his make-up first.

You know, this is not funny. You let @navstuffs read this one earlier cos you want to spoil her and she ends up giving you more ideas. Not fair. So yeah I guess I’m writing a second part actually.

Content: Mostly reader’s pov. No use of y/n. OOC Leon because he is actually living his best life here and not depressed as shit. Reader is shorter than Leon. Leon is slightly dom but he also calls himself ‘good boy’ and ‘pretty boy’. Pet names, established relationship, Leon confused about make-up items. Did I mention doing his make-up sitting on his lap because yes.

Warnings: +18 cos brief smut (Leon just loves eating pussy, actually). Minors and ageless blogs dni. Alcohol consumption but no one is drunk. Grinding aka slutty dance moves. Leon is insecure about his looks for like. 2 lines.

He is a gorgeous sight, blond strands crowning his face, the way his smirk seems to follow you as you two dance closely, bodies almost locked together. There are others around you, but Leon makes it clear that his gaze is only fixed on you, glittering blue eyes enjoying your figure.

You turn around, stop the lustful grinding against him, and cup his cheek, forcing his strong body to accommodate to your lower height. The alcohol is already making you bubbly, but he does not mind.

“Pretty. Pretty boy,” you breathe out, grazing his lips with delicacy.

“Yeah? Your pretty boy,” he repeats.

You smile.

He is a gorgeous sight indeed. Dark t-shirt doing nothing to hide his pecs, biceps stretching the thin clothing, as if teasing you —you know he is. You press a quick kiss into his lips and for a moment he frowns, surprised. He hadn’t expected it. He mouths something, but the music is too loud to decipher anything.

“What did you say?”

“I asked why just one… Do it again,” he answers, already attacking your neck with gentle bites, eager to mark his precious angel. You huff, and scratch his head, your hips moving once more to the rhythm of the songs.

“I love you.”

“Love you too,” Leon immediately replies, stealing a kiss from you.

And when you two pull apart, he looks even more desirable. Full of need, of love, pupils dilated and lips parted. You caress his eyebrow gently, eyes focused on the way his eyelashes —coated with your mascara and the smudged eyeliner— look on him.

You’re vaguely aware that your lipstick is probably messed up now, but he does not seem to care. Probably finds you the prettiest woman in the world, no matter what.

“See? Told you you’d look so hot with some make-up on.”

He chuckles, standing to his true height, and pulling you into his chest: gentle laugh emanating from his throat as he kisses your temple.

“As long as we don’t do this too often…” Leon warns you, though he is secretly amused by it. He’d do anything for you anyway. Anything to make you happy, to see that toothy smile etched on your face his whole life.

You two dance slowly then, out of beat. The world you share being the only song to follow. You close your eyes, hugging his body, face pressed tightly against him.

You love him so much. You’re so thankful that he accepted to spoil you with your little date suggestion; that after all the pain he has told you about, he is still willing to try to entertain you, even when it comes to such mundane things.

“Mine,” you mewl, gripping his body harder, suddenly feeling way too fortunate for the man that you get to call boyfriend.

Leon smiles, enjoying the touch, snorting as he shakes his head.

“Someone clingy tonight?”

“You know, you’re just looking too fine. Someone may steal you, actually”

“Doubt anyone could just steal me, I’m quite heavy,” he jokes, sliding his hands up and down your back, his fingers grazing your skin.

“I’ll put you in my pocket, young man.”

“I’d like to see you try that, young lady.”

Laughing against his chest, you look up at him, chin pressed against his pecs, the beating heart in his chest as the most joyful song you’ve heard your whole life.

“There’s my sunshine,” he says, voice raspy, caressing your cheek.

You remember then how he let you work on him, sitting on his lap.

“Pretty please?” you beg once more. Leon licks his lips, feigning annoyance though he already knows he will succumb to your demands.

“Remind me again what I’m getting out of this,” he crosses his arms, figure towering over you, a mocking expression on his face.

“You’ll be all gorgeous. Well, even more gorgeous than you already are,” you try to unsheathe your reasonings to him once more, hoping that he will finally accept them this time. And, it must be your lucky day, since Leon just smirks, nodding.

“You owe me a nice meal,” he states, before you take his hand, excitedly guiding him to take a seat on the couch, next to where all your make-up is already awaiting for him.

Truth be told, Leon is more than pretty. Handsome, strong, features of exquisite delicacy. There was nothing you’d change about him, completely enamoured as you are of him. But deep inside, burned your curiosity, how he’d look like with make-up on, lips glossy, or even an elegant smokey eye decorating his eyelids.

As you start grabbing your make-up items, taking a seat on his lap, Leon gulps. He has to admit it, the existence of that little speck of insecurity boiling in his stomach. As you examine a small black stick whose function he ignores, he frowns slightly.

“What exactly are we doing today?” he asks.

“Not sure yet. Probably just something that accentuates your eyes,” you reply, the little tub and stick nearly on his face now. “Your eyelashes are to die for.”

“Is that a good thing?” he inquires, still confused.

“Definitely,” you look at him, concentrated, and he sighs, but nods, consciously choosing to let you work on him in silence.

“I’ll let the pretty artist do her thing,” he whispers, as you start drawing a thin line next to his waterline. Your movements are slow, tongue sticking out as you make sure to nail the eyeliner trace, curling eyelashes with the most utter tenderness and then applying the mascara with very light strokes, warning him not to blink.

“What if I do?” he asks, serious.

“You’re not getting kisses.”

“Sounds like I’ll better be a good boy then,” he adds, pulling your hips closer to his, voice needy.

Leon notices your mind seems to have wandered off. He caresses your cheek with his thumb, his gaze concerned.

“Everything okay?”

You nod slowly, flustered.

“I’m just thinking…”

You just look up at him once more, and Leon swears he could die. Prettiest little thing, so small and precious in his grip, eyes hungry. And he understands. He nods, quickly, before taking your hand, head already anticipating what may fill up the rest of the night.

“Let’s go home, love.”

And when you two end up in bed that night, lipstick on each other’s faces and mascara clumps on your cheeks, framing wet kisses and hard thrusting, you find he has never looked hotter than now. With your make-up all over his face as he, gallant as usual, licks your juices off his lips.

“One more?” He says, though he doesn’t really expects an answer, as he dives his mouth once again between your thighs.

I have to stop thinking of slutty Leon with make-up or I'll go stupid. Dividers by @/cafekitsune and @/vase-of-lilies

[lavandaea]

*inhales deeply*

There's spoilers ahead so, yeah, be careful.

This weekend episodes have actually broken my soul.

He didn't even need his feelings to be reciprocate, HE JUST WANTED TO BE WITH HER.

Dear writers, some things to ask, why so much screen time to second male lead? Why create such chemistry? Such backstory? (Spoiler alert: that will make us sympathize with the supposed villain) To just fuck*ing rip his heart out and pulverize it like Grandma with the cow bones, yes, just like that.

Let me get this straight, after having been raised in an environment of violence, pain and God knows what else for God knows how long, he falls in love. He experiences ✨feelings✨ ,he puts all his trust in her like never before, he shares his past and then he gets betrayed.

I swear I never seen someone cry so with so much meaning, feeling, with so much back there.

We made progress for the last (at least) five episodes TO JUST END IT IN A SINGLE ONE.

This could have been handled a lot better in a lot of ways and about a lot of topics that I could actually write an essay.

Let's begin the the main leads.

So, in order to have some sort of feeling about ML and FL loving eachother you need to put screen time ON them. Yeah, they support eachother, they have known far before Si Oh, they are funny and a lot of things more. They even kissed and very passionately, wow.

Just one thing, Why didn't I even blink during that scene but found myself hitting the pillow and blushing when Si Oh did such mundane things as taking her home, opening doors for her, fixing her purse, hair, looking at her with those "I love you" eyes,👏feeling👏guilty👏about👏making👏her👏uncomfortable👏 with👏his👏feelings👏for👏her HELLO??, WAVING HER BACK WHILE HE WATCHED HER GO, SMILE EVERY DAMN TIME HE SAW HER?

I´ll tell you why. Because I know, thanks to you, that Si Oh was experiencing for the very first time what it's like to have human interaction that doesn't involve violence or having to be wary of everything and everyone all the time.

Even after having lived a life of shit, even after still living a life of absolute shit he still wanted to be connect, to be happy, to make her happy, to love and be loved. Moreover, I couldn't help just to feel happy for him, sad, angry, fucking rageous (not more than him, obviously).

Meanwhile, I barely know Hee Sik aka the male lead.

I remember seeing his mother once and I think that's what I understood about his private life. Sorry, I forgot about his deceased brother, that could have been a good topic to develop if it wasn't just mentioned once somewhere in the sixth chapter and left there to rot. Other than that, I know he is a cop, loves his cops friends and loves Nam Soon, also he is really loyal and good person.

Nice👍, very nice. But that's not personality or backstory, that's a job and some general traits everyone should have to live in a society and have a job where you usually do the teamwork thingy.

So, what else??

Or does the man just exist for his job and girlfriend?

It is just I simply don't understand it, you create a seriously complex character that has all kinds of potential and you want us to root for...Yeah, no. He literally could be an extra with how little and simple information we receive about him.

Even Shi Oh had some time to box being a drug dealer and full time whipped for her.

I'm just saying that you want me to suddenly dislike someone you took a considerable amount of time explaining but I have to like this good guy because you just pointed at him 👉🧍, and said, "here's the good guy, please love him"

Sorry, I cant do that.

If you haven't noticed, you just made a character I fell obliged to sympathize.

If you wanted to make him evil and hot you should have just made him evil and hot.

It worked just as well with Jang Han Seok from Vincenzo.

Not have him have "REDEMPTION" written all over him just to go with "Actually, no. He has no chance. 😃". It is for lack of a better term, frustrating. (Pointless)

Instead, maybe you should have dedicated that screen time for the construction of the main leads relationship.

Oh, yes. Another thing since we are talking about the matter.

ML and FL relationship progress got weaker and weaker since she had started to spy on Si Oh. And then one episode it was like "Oh, yeah, forgot to tell you, they are actually dating by now" Bom, a kiss. If I need a kiss to know they are in love, there's something going on back there. If a great amount of people are rooting for a couple that is not the main one, something is going on there.

Something lacking.

Scenes of them in love: well acted, nice, cute, cool, okay. But it is like picking a random romance book and start reading it ten chapters ahead, they are in love, but how did this happen??? Last time I check, they were in a friends-catching-fealings-zone.

Where's their development?

I know where is it. In the fake relationship, that it was being used just to turn Si Oh into a complete monster with probably not chance of going back.

"You have suffered a lot, yeah, I see. Anyway here's more pain. Suffer more and go cause some trouble because if not, there's, apparently, no plot"

Nice job.

I have been saying this and I will say it again, kdrama writers/directors are not ready for traumatized villains. They are afraid of them.

[belit0]

HIIIII<3333 How are you and how have you been. First, i need to praise you for such a good work you do, i really am impressed by your writing skills and how you write the characters so realistic and understandable. You truly have my respect especially for writing some characters like Madara or Indra are really complex to write because of their personality and they truly are complicated due their backstory. So thank you dearly for accepting requests and working on them. You truly have an unique writing style wich i do absolutely admire! Please keep up but don’t overwork yourself, rest is important and please remember to drink and eat enough. I love you so much and your blog is literally my favorite. ( You 🔛🔝) So actually i wanted to ask for a request. (A oneshot or a scenario please) About Madara watching his wife giving birth to his baby and how he sees his wife holding their new born in her arms. Please i am too curious cuz i really can’t Assess this man if he would cry at this sight or not😭. I woule appreciate if you would accept my request. But there is no need to. Feel free to ignore it, i still love your blog so much.

I swear your words touched me so much that I took a screenshot and saved the message in my private chat to read it whenever I need motivation, you brought tears to my eyes (literally)!!!

Thank you infinitely for your beautiful company and for supporting my modest work, I love to share what I do, especially if I have people who like it and enjoy it, it fills my soul to read words like that💕🙏💫🛐

I can never explain the appreciation I feel upon receiving this type of messages, it's a very powerful and big feeling, too strong and too deep for words.

Thank you so much, my beautiful nonny, for being around and keeping me company, please never go away, i love u😭💕💫

Now, going back to the request, OF COURSE MADARA CRIES, he's one of those persons who cries out of anger, it bothers him a lot because he feels weak but has a great facility for tears.

Now, what I did to him in this piece is a bit cruel, I apologize🤣🙏

He can't stop pacing the hallway, anxious and nervous, desperate because of the screams he hears on the other side of the door. The midwives demanded he stay out of the room to avoid creating more chaos, his distress palpable in the air every time he asked "Is she in a lot of pain? Is the baby okay? Is something wrong with (Y/N)?"

He was kicked out of the place to avoid putting more pressure on the poor women assisting with the delivery, and even as the clan leader, he was taken away the choice of whether to be part of the moment or not. It all pushes him so far over the edge he even resorts to taking off his gloves and chewing his nails like he's 15 years old again.

"You look like crap, Aniki." Izuna comments with a smirk on his face, openly mocking his poor older brother. Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, he looks at him with amusement and even a bit of pity.

As always, his Otouto accompanies him.

"No shit." He snorts in anguish, tearing the skin off his finger and hissing from the burning. He may be the strongest warrior of all his time, but he can't help the little mundane aches and pains of day to day life.

"What's got you so bad? It's just a baby." He reaches out to him as if to lay a hand on his shoulder, but stops before doing so, knowing the outcome, clicking his tongue at how fickle fate is.

Staring at the ground and swapping the tortured finger for a new one, he fails to get out from inside his mind, raise his head, react. Worry consumes him, and (Y/N)'s screams of agony don't help. "Exactly that. I couldn't protect anyone, I couldn't protect you, I won't be a good father, what if-"

"Wowowo, hold your horses, Aniki. You couldn't protect me because I wouldn't let you, if anyone was going to take that idiot down it was me. We talked about it many times, didn't we?" He stands in front of him, unable to get his older brother out of his vicious cycle of insane thoughts, and crouches down to the ground to meet the path of his eyes. He smiles at him again, an act that always manages to get Madara's attention, and he finally listens to him.

"Did you think of a name? That'll be your job if it's a boy." Madara jumps in a startled gasp as (Y/N) screams louder than ever, and looks at the door separating them as if wanting to set it on fire. Respecting the midwives' wishes feels stupid, but neither does he want to get in the way of things he doesn't understand.

"Izuna." He answers without moving his eyes from the spot, walking and avoiding his younger brother like he couldn't just walk right through him. He moves a little closer to the door, waiting.

"What?" The younger Uchiha gets up, and moves back to stand next to him, not understanding.

"Izuna, for the name."

"You want to give your precious baby my terrible name? You'll doom him to be a beautiful mess."

"Tribute, so he'll always remember the uncle he never knew." And at the moment his eyes fill with sadness and melancholy, his brother decides to change the course of the situation.

"If you want to pay tribute to me, take him to visit my grave and drink sake over my remains, you idiot. I say you name him Inari, I always thought it was beautiful."

"Inari..."

"Sounds nice doesn't it? It's a good one to scold him after he gets in trouble, which I'll make sure he does."

"Will the baby be able to see you?"

"We'll find out."

"MADARA-SAMA!" the door suddenly opens, one of the midwives coming out agitated "THE BABY IS COMING, SOON!" She demands him to re-enter the room, and Madara looks at his brother for encouragement.

He smiles at him again, and that's all he needs to know that everything will be okay.

The makeshift delivery room, on the other hand, is a mess. Several women run around moving bloody towels and trying to wipe the sweat from (Y/N)'s forehead. One holds her hand tightly as his wife pushes and pushes, legs spread wide and revealing a picture both terrible and wonderful.

"MADARA-SAMA!" the midwife shoves him from behind to the side of the bed where she attempts to deliver their child, unafraid to be rough with the clan leader. Madara, unable to react, grabs the hand that was previously held by another woman, as he stares at her belly and can do nothing but try to hold back tears.

Paralyzed by inoperability and not knowing what to do, the Uchiha feels useless, incapable of helping or assisting in any way. His expertise is in fighting, combat, violence, he has no idea how to act in sensitive situations or those that require emotional intelligence. He is afraid to say something inappropriate, something that will upset (Y/N), and cannot find the strength to speak without crying.

No one told him he would feel this way, an experience so surreal as to make him break down.

The last time he cried disconsolately was with his brother's death, years ago, but his child's birth seems to challenge him in the same way, the miracle of life and the product of his own dedication coming to reward him, demanding him to pour out all his feelings through tears, no shame for being in front of strangers.

Everything seems to disappear around him, focused only on his wife and the task ahead. The stupor washes away little by little, getting into the game and helping her get through the experience as best he can.

At one point he thinks to be speaking words of encouragement, but has no track of what is going on. The image of (Y/N) suffering, crying, screaming, stirs him to the core of his very being, wishing he could take away her agony and be the one to endure this odyssey.

He holds her hand with both of his, while between his wife's legs two midwives demand further pushing. Everything is chaos, a maelstrom of speed where Madara can only concentrate on her, until he suddenly hears it.

The most beautiful cry he has ever witnessed, a small, high-pitched sound coming from a tiny baby in one of the midwives' arms. (Y/N)'s face automatically relaxes, ready to faint from exertion and exhaustion, yet she whispers "Hold the child" before smiling with genuine joy.

Madara, following orders while being totally out of his comfort zone, receives the newborn in his arms, and what was once silent tears now turns into unrestrained crying.

He crumbles in front of his baby for different reasons, moved and overwhelmed for having been able to produce something so beautiful, so delicate, after destroying and murdering as much as he did. That adorable little human being is proof enough, at least for him, of not being a disastrous person, for there being hope and kindness in his destiny, able to repent for all the lives he stole on the battlefield.

Izuna's death brought him great resentment for the world, condemning him to anger and rage as a way of life, willing to destroy whoever it takes to regain what was lost, yet (Y/N) saved him from an avoidable catastrophe, and showed him he could be more than his grief, giving him the tools to move on.

Holding the result of such pure and generous love in his hands is the mythical demonstration of how the blood on his hands is washable, how his past does not define him, and how his future is not marked by eternal pain.

The thrill of a better life engulfs him completely, as he stares with pure affection at the child he himself created. His son, utterly his, the most beautiful ray of sunshine. "Inari..." he whispers between sobs, and brings him closer to his wife for reconnection with his mother.

Upon reassuring (Y/N) is no longer bleeding and there are no further problems to worry about, the women begin to leave the room, carrying lots of bloody sheets and towels, cleaning the space little by little and giving privacy to the new family.

One of them takes the newborn for close examination, and when the room finishes clearing of people, Madara can see Izuna near his baby, making sure the midwife treats him well and takes proper care of his little Inari.

He can't help but cry again at the image, knowing his son will always have a guardian angel with him.

[creature-wizard]

Sorry for taking so long. This is shy system ROMCOA anon and after seeing your response I realized I needed to write a narrative explanation of things rather then just a list of painful or difficult truths that have helped us which is more difficult then I expected. I'm going to do a bit of both I've decided. Jumping into it though, IMO simplified Narcissistic Abuse discourse can be a gateway to ROMCOA stuff when it is clear that people who hurt them aren't 100% evil monsters and another explanation is needed. I think that's how I got more interested in it. The NA explanation felt overly slanderous, plus being bitter isn't healing and is actually incredibly exhausting. The sentiments that undercut the issue of intent in a helpful way I think are these: - You don't have to know why someone did something because abuse doesn't need justified. - It is unfortunately true that love does not prevent mistreatment and abuse. - Something doesn't have to be intentional to have hurt. - It's harder that there is no such thing as someone who is pure evil and that nobody is born evil, but eventually you will find many truly kind but still imperfect people. - Intentional or otherwise, cruelty towards someone does not reflect on or diminish their inherent value.

I think people either want to absolve or hate those who hurt them because loving someone who has deeply hurt you adds an additional pain. The questions of "How could you have done that?" or "How could you not remember doing that?" tend to haunt people. Unfortunately, I also think life and trauma are often complicated in mundane ways. Nobody has to be evil or be targeting you specifically for abuse to take place, and no amount of good intentions invalidates harm done. I think this middle ground has helped me because it is tempting to imagine that my family was merely neglectful but not harmful towards me. To imagine that it was someone else with clear and bad intentions.

At the same time it is hard for others to see a middle ground where they didn't need to be evil to have hurt me. It's easier to invalidate my experiences then to own up to anything and it's hard to determine what owning up would even look like. In that regard I try to remember these things: - Everybody is affected by things differently and trauma is thus relative. (i.e. Autism made anything food related worse.) - Strong feelings do not indicate a trauma's relationship to what society considers serious, but it is no less valid to have those feelings. - "Lowercase t" traumas can stack into a bigger issue that is hard to discern the origin of because there is no clear bad thing or cause. Those seem to be the two major sticking points, intention and validity. I think they have so much sway as sticking points because if shit sucks and that's totally valid but most people and even you yourself may never fully understand it, what are you supposed to do then? It feels like a terrible hand to be dealt and an unfair game to play. While I do think the most realistic explanation also sucks ass, I also think that's not where things have to end. Some things that have helped me and system friends: - We'll never be someone without a painful history, that's ok, and it's valid to grieve. - You can't time travel, the unknowns and what if's are ephemeral so eventually the only thing left to do is make a better path forward. - Don't let the valid hurt and anger turn and bite you. If you can, use that energy to assert your value and make something better of life. (i.e. Spite is why I choose gentleness.) - Managing big feelings is a skill everyone has to learn and the process ebbs and flows, but it gets easier. - You're not alone in having complicated feelings and history and experiences. - If you can't believe the future will better, it could at least be interesting. It's worth it to wait and see.

(Please do not assume anything about me or the "level" of my trauma from this. We are diagnosed, though a diagnosis doesn't determine whether or not anyone has issues. I just gives them a name.)

(To anyone reading this: If you've heard the term "RAMCOA" but haven't heard how it originated among conspiracy theorists and was always meant to push conspiracy theories within legitimate psychiatry, further information is provided at the end.)

Oh oof I really forgot this in my inbox for over a month. 😵‍💫

And yeah, I'm not surprised that the whole "narcissistic abuse" thing can lead into RAMCOA stuff.

Like, the concept of "narcissistic abuse" is another iteration of the cultural myth that there's a distinct category of person that if we all just avoid or exclude, we can protect ourselves from abuse and toxic behavior, and it makes a pretty effective grift for people who've experienced severe abuse from people who just had zero interest in treating them well for one reason or another. The question of why anyone would engage in relentless bad faith behavior often torments people who've been through these experiences, and the concept of narcissistic abuse seems to finally provide an explanation that, while right about some things (for example,, it's true that people may lash out when their egos have been injured), is severely wrong about others (an NPD diagnoses is not a guarantee that someone will do this, and not everyone who does this has NPD). Basically, it's yet another half-assed solution to the problem of evil.

But like you say, many people have more complicated experiences with their abusers. And the alter programming conspiracy theory is absolutely a myth that seems to explain these kinds of experiences. Many people don't fully realize how someone might be handling a bad mental health day badly, or might be under some kind of stress they don't know about, or might have internalized some toxic belief that makes them act really shitty over some things, but not necessarily everything. "Your mom acted differently because she's actually a programmed multiple system, and what you experienced were different alters" is the kind of thing that makes sense when you know a little bit about DID, but not enough to understand why the idea of TBMC/alter programming is pseudoscientific nonsense.

I dunno how much you know about Michelle Remembers (the book that formed the blueprint of this mythology), but if you don't (and for the benefit of anyone else reading this who doesn't know), ritual abuse absolutely became a way to rationalize complicated relationships with parents. While Michelle Remembers didn't incorporate the DID aspect into the narrative (it just stuck with repressed memories), the short of it is that her mother was a single parent of three in the 1950's (her father basically walked out) who at least occasionally used alcohol. There's no way this lady didn't have some bad days. Plus she also died when Michelle was pretty young, which couldn't have been great on her psyche.

So yeah, it makes sense that people are getting into it today as a way to explain why their own parents were Like That.

For anyone who isn't aware: RAMCOA, which stands for "Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, & Organized Abuse" is not an innocent catch-all term for religious abuse, institutional abuse, sex trafficking, etc. It was coined by conspiracy theorists to try and make far right conspiracy theories sound respectable within legitimate psychiatry. For more information, see Cathy O'Brien - The First Project Monarch "Survivor" and Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler: Two Of The Most Dangerous Conspiracy Theorists Most People Have Never Heard Of.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Long Fic Titles (8+ Words) (5) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four

a universe without you (would be thoroughly mundane) (ao3) - chaeriloidea

Summary: Too much time on Twitter makes Dan reflect on how far he's come in his relationship with Phil and his audience.

Dan and Phil Take Each Other's Clothes Off (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!) (ao3) - BREAD2000yeet

Summary: Dan and Phil play dress-up based off Dan's one dailybooth

Dan stops and stares at him, “You did not just tell me a red panda fact while we are having sex.”

“They can also glow in the dark.”

don't wanna walk alone (so let's get married) (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: Phil’s always been a little wistful about the idea, some part of him a bit hopelessly romantic, perhaps, but his mind always catches on the thought of marrying Dan.

(or: marriage chats on a saturday night)

every city was a gift (and every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: “Do you think we could get a proper American desert cactus for our house?”

“Phil, no.”

“I missed the train, can I stay with you?” Redux (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil can’t believe he let Ian convince him to go out to a nightclub. How he got from there, to sending a text to Ian that he’s actually heading back to his flat with somebody holy shit don’t be worried he won’t get ax murdered probably, Phil really can’t be sure.

A ficlet about senses and surprises.

I missed you so much I dyed the towels green (ao3) - chuuyaswife

Summary: A few of Dan’s shows get cancelled while he’s on the WAD tour so he decides to surprise his boyfriend back home for a few days. Fluffy reunion ensues.

i wanna throw the fight (and kiss away your pain tonight) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: when feelings are too much for words

i will never know a sunday (how slow the moments go) (ao3) - beaniebopbaby

Summary: The man hunched over the piano, and Phil felt like he couldn’t breath. He looked around the room, to see if anyone else noticed this shift, when he finally realized they were alone. The notes grew slower and slower as Phil stood, drifting closer to the man playing the piano. The pianist looked as mesmerized as Phil, absorbed in his playing.

I'd like to hang out with you (for my whole life) (ao3) - bunnyslipper

Summary: Mornings in the forever home (featuring the golden pig)

If we were two sunflowers, I would have faced you instead of the sun (ao3) - twinphantasy

Summary: It didn’t really matter where they were or what they were looking at because Dan would always be looking at Phil.

i’m electric, a romantic cliché (me and you were meant to be in love) (ao3) - nardfx

Summary: “i really don’t know if i can do this.”

“you can do this.”

“okay, but what happens when everyone’s eyes are on me and they all know all of my secrets?”

or

dan and phil go to prom

in this falling rain (i fill the scattered you) (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: “I’m not,” Dan finally says, voice cracking. He still doesn’t look over at the older boy. “I’m not okay, Phil.”

Phil stays where he is. He doesn’t leave, but he doesn’t come closer, either. He simply waits.

He always waits for Dan.

Or, Dan is weighed down by his mind, and Phil holds him anyway.

It Only Takes a Moment: A Dan and Phil WALL-E AU (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: So, I've been thinking about this WALL-E AU where Dan and Phil replace Wall-E and Eve for a while, and I thought I should get around to making it! I hope you all enjoy it!

Origins of the Phass Inflation Post (Dan and Phil in Greece) (ao3) - EverythingIsAsItWas

Summary: Dan and Phil rarely take vacations just for themselves, vacations in which they make no content, do not work, and simply enjoy each other's company. Going to Greece feels like the perfect opportunity for this, but Phil also thinks it's the perfect opportunity for a video... and Dan likes being a little shit.

The three times it was a one off and the one time it was forever (ao3) - KirstieVic

Summary: 2014, 2016 and 2018 it's a one off.

Then 2020 during lockdown, it's forever.

we were never in the park (ignoring tornado warnings) (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: After Phil leaves Dan, Dan starts seeing a therapist. Then, Phil comes back, and Dan starts lying to his therapist about him.

without saying a word (you had all of me) (ao3) - rainbowroshenpower

Summary: I trace it all back, three-thirty AM

That night, something turned in my heart

While you were sleeping, I fell in love

you're never gonna get by on three hours sleep a night (unless you absolutely have to) (ao3) - Mildredo

Summary: phil has a migraine on tour.

[muniimyg]

the morning after // kth

pieces of peace; a series of therapy sessions

# 3 ! oc has broken up with taehyung and he struggles to understand the breakup

navi | m. list | ask me ! | no tag list 

paring:

sadboy taehyung + ex girlfriend oc

au/genre:

post-break up au / getting back together

healing, sulking, attempting to move on

angst angst angst

note: tbh this one has been in my drafts for literally MONTHS. i dunno what is even going on but i jus need it out lololol

There’s no point.

No point in anything these days.

No point in eating out because he was used to asking for a table for two and eating alone just looks so fucking sad.

No point in making coffee because he doesn’t even like it. Regardless of how many sweeteners he put in his cup, it always tastes too bitter. Too bland. Too anticlimactic. But he sipped every sip just to spend time with you in the morning. So no, Taehyung did not like coffee but he loved you. He learned how to make coffee for two, not for one. 

It hasn’t been long since you left.

It’s only been a month and a half but it feels like a lifetime without you by his side. You left and made his king-sized bed for one. He hasn’t slept alone in years. He doesn’t even remember what it feels like to sleep on the right side of the bed because that was your side.

It’s the same way he can’t recall what it’s like to have his heart to himself: it was yours. For so long, it had been yours to care for, to love, and to keep. 

But shit happens.

Things change. 

People change. 

You needed space and Taehyung had to give it to you. He had to empty parts of himself for you. It left him questing who he is without you.

Yeah.

Who is he without you? 

It’s something his friend would constantly ask one another whenever he arrived late to dinners in hoodies and a sad smile. No one could make him feel better even for a millisecond. You were by far the best thing to have ever happened to him and everyone knew that. 

Still, Taehyung’s friends tried. 

Tonight, they invited another pretty girl that looked to be Taehyung’s type. Again, they play the not-so-subtle game of “have you met Taehyung?” 

It makes him sick. 

How I Met Your Mother was your favourite show to play as background noise. Especially when you two were preparing dinners or making sleepy 8AM pancakes before heading to your parent’s home for Sunday family lunch. 

The girl looks a little too much like you. It pains Taehyung more than it attracts him. He feels stupid in front of his friends. He feels stupid for doing this to you because it wasn’t your face or your body. None of that compared to the way you held his heart and loved him the way you did. 

How you mastered comforting him on days he felt weaker than usual. 

How each kiss from you felt better than the last. 

How complete his life felt sitting next to you, watching the raspberry lemonade sky fade into a starry night.

How you completed him.

It’s only been a month and half but he still misses mornings with you. The stupid mid-day texts you’d send because a mug, a random YouTube video, or a picture of a cute dog popped up and reminded you of him. It was everything mundane that had him enchanted by you. 

He misses you. 

From slow and giggly sex, spontaneous convince store trips at 2AM, and even quiet dinners after an argument—he wants nothing more than those moments back. He wants nothing more than for you to come back and just be his again.

It aches.

Every part of his day aches as he’s all alone. Who's by your side? Is it that guy from your workplace that couldn’t get the hint? Is it your best girlfriends that never really liked him in the first place? Or are you by yourself too?

The only thing Taehyung doesn’t miss about you is the way you made him feel the morning after.

When he woke up groggy, eyes puffy from crying, and worst of all: hopeful. He has never wanted to wake up from a nightmare this bad before. It was that morning when he brewed coffee for two, ate out for dinner, and asked for a table for two, and found himself dragging his feet with his head hanging low on his walk home all alone. 

It takes so much of him to fix these habits. 

Brew coffee for one, not two. 

Table for one, not two. 

Live for himself, not you. 

It felt silly. The whole break-up and the ache wrapped around it like a bow. There was no point in feeling that kind of devastation, right? Taehyung knows he’ll get over it. Though it may be hard and nearly impossible, he will one day get over you. 

But not today. 

Not the morning after, not the week after, not months after.. He’ll continue to hurt until you come back to him and heal him or he goes numb from all this fucking bullshit. 

Taehyung has never felt more alone in his life. 

Then, his phone buzzes.

Jimin [3:29AM]: We’ll stop setting U up on dates if U want. We can come over and make sure U’re eating right if U want

Taehyung [3:32AM]: Nah

Jimin [3:37AM]: … Or idk talk to her? Talk to a therapist or smt. Idk. This isn’t U. Feels like we’ve been losing U lately. Don’t break up with us.

Taehyung [3:41AM]: Lol

Taehyung sighs, not bothering to keep this conversation going. It’s all the same. It’s the same pity and the same self-help suggestions. It all burned slowly and made him feel crazy. He wasn’t crazy because, in the darkness of his bedroom, he thinks to himself: this helps. 

Talking, acknowledging, and letting myself feel everything right now by himself.. Helps. For now, this will suffice. Being here for himself helps. This is therapeutic.  

Besides, he doesn’t have the energy to go to a therapist and force himself to open up. Maybe he should go there when he knows his feelings a little better himself.. Yeah. That’s more like it.

It’s like this: if he knows he feels alone, what was the point of trying to fill that void when it’s yours to fill? You are only his to love and that defeats him entirely. He doesn’t want to call or text you because he wants you to do that on your own. 

There was no point in begging or trying to fix himself. Why couldn’t he just be broken in peace? Be aimless and call it healing. Taehyung doesn’t want direction right now. He didn’t want there to be a point or to even think of love. The questions were endless, but the answer had been prefixed from the very beginning. 

Then, his phone buzzes. He expects it to be Jimin.

YN [4:01AM]: Hey

YN [4:01AM]: U up?

Taehyung [4:03AM]: Hi

YN [4:03AM]: Can we talk?

Taehyung [4:04AM]: Idk. About what?

YN [4:04AM]: Us? The morning after? Anything

Taehyung [4:07AM]: Come over. I’ll make us some coffee

YN [4:08AM]: But you don’t like coffee

Taehyung [4:08AM]: I still drank it every morning with U. Also, Idk how to brew coffee for one so just come over. We’ll figure it out

YN [4:09AM]: Okay. Let’s figure it out

Taehyung [4:09AM]: Good

Taehyung [4:12AM]: I miss you

YN [4:13AM]: I miss you too

Taehyung smiles at his phone. He gets up and goes to his kitchen to begin brewing coffee for two. He isn’t sure what this means or what is to come.. But he has a feeling there’s a point to all of this—that the morning after would be a new beginning. 

After all, what was the point of love if it wasn’t going to be you?

[sab-teraa]

Tye Talks: A Diary Entry

(22/02/24 || 22:58 pm)

Good evening friends, I hope you are all well and having a lovely Thursday! Just one more day till the weekend! Yay <3

Inspired by the lovely @the-winds-of-destiny-xxx , I've decided to start blogging about my day. Hopefully, I will be able to stay up to date lol.

Work

Ugh, I've been up since 5am prepping myself to deliver my second lecture of the semester. It went well, kinda. The students were super interactive which is great. Application + practicality > regurgitating information. They did super well. Also, we have a new HoD, and while I really liked our previous heads, the new HoD is a breath of fresh air and I really enjoy their approach towards education.

My full-time job is actually soooo … atm. My colleague has resigned which is all cool and I wish her the best.

But, there’s a trend I’ve noticed recently within our organization … and I hope it does not present any problems in the future. Tbh, I think it has presented a problem before … but idk. Anyway, constructive criticism goes a long long way … only if you’re keen and willing to learn …. which this person defo is NOT.

Enough about my colleagues, the CEO presented me with an opportunity but I'm lowkey nervous .. bc I prefer being a private + somewhat anonymous person lol, but I obviously said yes. Let's see how it goes, anything can happen and this whole project might fall through. Especially in this economy.

All in all, I really love my job and the career path I’ve taken. I hope it does not backfire on me later on in life.

Uni

Gosh. Uni is the bane of my existence atm. Tho, i did make a bit of progress on my thesis today. I know exactly what I need to do, but I just don't have the motivation to it. But, I think I've finally got myself together .. so let's see what happens.

Also, I'm so grateful for my thesis supervisor <3 she is so understanding and supportive.

Health

Is this tmi? Maybe? Apologies if so?

But, my nose and throat have been KILLING me recently? Idk if it’s bc of the fan or what … but yup. Thank god for cloves! They’ve helped wayyyy more than anything else I’ve tried lol. Also, my pms is really starting to hit 😭😭 I’ve been in soooo much pain since I got back home.

My mentally, I’m doing okay … there’s obvs moments in the day where I’m like shit?? I’m an adult adult?? Yet my life feels so stagnant 😂 but then I try to keep it moving and not think so much about what I want … and I try to focus on what I do have…. bc I’ve done my best.

Fun and mundane

I finally got to go to my first gym class of the week - I really needed that! The housewives from my class invited me for smoothies afterwards … and they are so fun! Are they my mums age mates? Yes 😂😂 but I loved hanging out with them .. they truly live in their own bubble .. I wanna be exactly like them when I’m older lol.

Oh Oh! And I finally finished the second season of Al Rawabi School for Girls ... flip, it truly broke my heart. What an amazing show.

I really wanted to start the new season of Real Housewives of Durban … but the new Showmax app is truly YUCK! I have the ick 🫠🫠 but, I love the show waaaaay too much, so I’d probs get over it soon lol.

Other than gym and catching up on tv, I made a delicious lasagna for dinner. I'm convinced that my homemade meat sauce and cheese sauce remains undefeated, or maybe that's just me being cocky lol. If I had more space, I would have defo attempted to make the pasta too.

I'm super excited for this weekend bc my friends and I are going to this art and music event and getting food afterwards. I also really wanna buy that duvet set I saw online ... since I'm no longer purchasing an apartment (recession boo boo boo 🍅🍅🍅), I may as well just re-do my current apartment lol. It already looks great, but I've been putting off getting a new duvet set bc I presumed I was gonna buy a bigger bed lol... so I've just been rotating between the two sets I have ... and damn they've seen better days lol.

Relationships

After all he has been through, my brother finally has some great things happening. I am so proud of him. I know he will achieve everything he aspires to <3 This has also done wonders for his self-confidence, he truly needed this, and I hope ... I really hope that it stays on this positive track.

Positive family news aside, idk if anyone saw the post about my uncle? But god damn I'm annoyed af. (Side note: He is my mums cousin btw; but my entire family is close). Anyway, my uncle called my mum to rant … and according to my mum he was sooooo proud of what he said to his wife??? I’m just disgusted. Idk how. His wife could forgive him for this. I’m so glad my mum put him in his place ✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽

I know its not about me and I have no right to speak on other people's relationships, but I hate seeing people put their all into a relationship and even go against their own family to be with someone ... only for their partner to treat them like this. His wife deserves soooooo much better and its sooo heartbreaking that she has to go through. My heart truly breaks for her. I pray everything works out for her.

Conclusion

Anywho … if you made it this far! Thank you for reading my ramblings <3 wishing you a lovely day! Stay safe babes 😘

[fg083nrt]

What ships from Naruto do you like, except Kakuhida? I'm asking out of curiosity :)

Also your art makes me want to eat tables!!! RAAH!!!!! (/pos)

This is a surprisingly loaded question because I have so many and some of them span for almost 20 years now.

Also, as usual, disclaimer, since I've seen all the ship wars and holywars, THESE ARE ALL PERSONAL OPINION. PERSONAL OPINION ONLY.

(endless yapping below the cut)

In the past:

My first ship when I was 12 was Pain/Konan, and I think that was the first smut I've ever read like period. I was a big cheerleader of Hinata and Naruto/Hinata because I liked that Hinata just minded her business and stayed in her lane while everyone else was going thru shit (Team 8 had the best work-life balance, I think, they just clocked in and clocked out, no shenanigans). Obviously, Temari/Shikamaru and I loved Neiji/Tenten. I think as a kid these were like really fun dynamics. Once the anime reached the Akatsuki I was all over the Akatsuki LMAO.

But now, as a grown adult, I am almost 99% just KKHD, and Akatsuki ships are like the default absolute truth to me, but recently, I've been obsessed with more Naruto Yuri.

Love Ino/Sakura for that double-income spy who owns a secret flower shop/doctor dynamic; it's just nice. Like I am a firm believer that they could have solved their differences by scissoring or something. Also like, I think their backstory is like an insane missed opportunity (but what's written cannot be unwritten, so whatever) because these pages made me feel like I was reading some kind of josei backstory. Like, go ahead and read these pretending this is not from Naruto, and tell me where do u think this could be from.

Like "pussy from a girl who treats you like a small stupid animal (good until psychic damage hits)"

Like, I would be like, this is either a shoujo manga, or the next page is older Sakura crying in the kitchen with a photo of Ino or something, and then by the end of the story, they, like fuck in the field or something while Sakura is like "I can't believe my toxic female friend from school has 4 fingers up my pussy!", but this could just be projecting, but I still like the ship. On a serious note, Sakura being a crybaby who was picked on would have been a fun opportunity to play with her character and create more empathy for Naruto within her, but her role was more like tying the two characters together, which worked well, but lots of people were salty, but it pushed people to support her character more so it evens out.

Tsunade/Shizune is like my next super fave, especially after rewatching the Tsunade arc. Tsunade's character is just so well done when it comes to how people cope with grief by doing destructive things, I loved it; Kishimoto is fantastic at mature story beats like this weaved between magical ninja fights. But yeah I loved their dynamic like Shizune is essentially her attendant/pet girl/assistant who is extremely loyal to her, but also nagging in a way and also Shizune is just very animated and kinda dorky while Tsunade is a calm mommy- sorry a mature rich woman of status who needs to be taken care of (nearly blacked out writing this). Their back and forth is just chef kiss, too. Honestly, I think that's my favourite Naruto arc; the first part of Naruto is great when it comes to mundane details that I now have more appreciation for.

Their auntie banter!

GODDDDD THAT WAS SO LIKE IT HURTS SEEING OTHERS LIVING THE LIFE YOU DREAM OF

And obviously still love Temari/Shikamaru! I loved that Shikamaru was always very tsundere and going on about how much he hates girls, but deep down is actually like, "Me when a bad bitch tells me to do anything." it's a satisfying way to play with his "character flaw". Seeing him go soft on Temari was like a mini character arc within his already happening character arc during Sasuke's pursuit, like we saw him grow up twice, great stuff!

The entire chapter 235 is just an amazing growth for Shikamaru in elevating the like "men/women" way of thinking to like "what makes a person who they are" way of thinking I really love that. The character is also a great reminder for those afraid of failing btw.

Kakashi/Iruka is my fave, 50% from a historical standpoint; the fact that you can find Kakairu fanfic on Geocities from 2001, and I have some doujins in my collection that are more than 20 years old now is fascinating to me. Love how incredibly loyal the Japanese fans are to Iruka; these guys were holding onto hope for so many years till the Pain arc and then, boom, Studio Pierrot's final Naruto arc!!! It's just incredible fandom history. I love that kinda stuff, love the ship itself too, it's very homey to me, some of the legendary fic they had was fantastic, like entire book's length, incredibly loyal fans.

[dont-look-me-in-the-eye]

6. what is something that you���ve always wanted to do but have never been able to do?

so, before i answer this, you'll probably need some context.

2013 was the worst year of my life. i'm not sure why exactly. i think it was a combination of a couple factors. i was a kid, bad shit happened around that time, i couldn't speak english, whatever. it doesn't really matter, you just have to know that 2014 was the worst year of my life. i could answer this question straight-forwardly, but i'm a tricky bastard who likes telling stories. this one is true, though, and i've been trying to get better at telling true stories, rather than ones where the truth is filtered through at least 3 different running jokes i have with myself to prevent an ounce of genuine thought coming out of my head, because vulnerability scares me. what was i saying again? oh yeah. lemme start at the beginning;

i wasn't really the type of kid to play. i mean, i did mess around with a monster truck that my cousin left at our house, i had a little wind-up spiderman four-wheeled motorcycle (with no spiderman in sight, btw. i don't know what happened to him), and i enjoyed making up elaborate torture stories involving princess dolls and a few action figures we had laying around. but i didn't really play. playing like that was a chore.

i was, well, to put it a better way, annoying. i was the kind of kid to ask why a billion times until - actually, i don't remember. my memory of that time period is foggy. the point is, we were annoying.

so, when i learned to read, that was a trip, right. like, an entire world in your hands. someone who knew me back then would say that i was a bookworm. i'm not. reading is also a chore. but i got very good at looking like it was not.

fast-forward to around 2020ish. ah yes. the Unspeakable Years. when we got here, it's just... an eternity of 'meh'. nothing to do but to lounge around, wake up late, sit in a chair all day for school, blah blah, blah blah blah. not the worst years of my life, but the most... painful. because i wasn't really learning anything, and that makes me miserable. it also took almost four years to recover from.

anyways, going back again, at some point my parents got annoyed with me and decided to propose other avenues for information other than them. enter: the library. we went almost every day. we got most of our dvds from there. it's trashy and actually inside of a tiny school that most people avoid sending their children to, right next to a train station so it rumbles every twenty or so minutes, and has quite a limited amount of titles, so if you ask if they have a specific book, chances are, they don't. i still think it's the best place in the world.

when i say i didn't learn anything, i did, actually, but i didn't find a puzzle, anymore. i can't solve what's not there. it was just - gone. devastating. blank. nothing.

you know, i didn't play that much, but i used to entertain myself by staring at a wall and furiously contemplating questions. like why do things bounce and how does a pen work? it took taking apart a few pens to figure that one out. there's a satisfaction in discovering elegant solutions to mundane problems.

2013. 12? 15? it doesn't matter. you are sitting with me, as i am now, in our old house. ignore the police sirens. we are... outside. backyard, on the porch. it's nice. the sun is setting. have you ever wondered why the sky turns different colors when it sets? it's because of how fast different colors travel on the visible spectrum - ah. you're bored. let's go inside, we've seen this a billion times. we're in the kitchen. if you listen closely, you can hear a child pleading upstairs. ignore that, that's me. you can guess what's happening, i'm not gonna tell you.

i love reading. well, no, i don't like reading, i like hearing stories, i like learning new things. i find that i know a bit more than most kids my age. a little too much more.

let's go to me a few weeks ago. i'm sitting in the garage, new house. much bigger, sirens only a few times a month. even less. i'm staring at the floor, trying to understand derivatives because what the fuck. this is a common theme in my life. now i am pacing around the room, assigning objects random values, trying to - well, you get the point.

i always wanted to understand. pain, pleasure, mechanics, everything. i always wanted to understand everything. yeah. it'll never happen. everything is too broad, and while infinity does not exist as a number, it is a very real adjective. a mere speck like me on a slightly bigger bluer speck like earth could never understand everything.

but goddamnit, i'm a tricky bastard and i'll be fucked if i never try.