#like I just like to show off not actually talk abt it.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mochinomnoms · 19 hours ago

Note

I saw this tiktok that showed how Epel admires Leona, so Imma tell ya this lil thought I had abt it.

So basically, when Epel doesn't see Vil on sight, he just goes running looking for Leona and Yuu, and once he finds them in the botanic house, he's so excited to pass time with them it's like they both are Epel's parents, and I love it.

(Also, I started following cause I love your work, keep it up hun!🤍)

Thank you for the kind words! aaa you're so sweet >////<

I def think he really admires Leona, but I think he's more likely to view Leona as an older brother, especially since I'm pretty sure Epel is an only child, along with being the only person his age in his hometown. I think if Yuu in this specific scenario acts like an older sibling, then something like this would probably happen!

Leona probably gets a bit annoyed at first, as it reminds him a bit of Cheka and how clingy the little guy can get. But seeing that Epel has proved himself and his abilities at Spelldrive practice, and Yuu's insistence that Epel come hang out with them, he begrudgingly lets Epel chill with them in the gardens.

Funny enough, it mostly works out as Epel just likes being around them (and having a break from Vil). He doesn't try to force conversation with Leona, so he mostly talks to Yuu about their classes, how Spelldrive has been going, and generally chatting. They're both actually quite quiet, giving Leona a bit of white noise as he naps with his head on Yuu's lap.

Epel does beam a bit the few times that Leona also joins their conversations, he might even be so lucky that our favorite super senior might drop a tidbit of advice or leave a comment here or there! He won't admit it, but he does like having someone look up to him the way Epel does, especially since it pisses off Vil at the same time.

Leona will occasionally shoo Epel away, or tuck him and Yuu away in a secluded corner of the gardens to have some alone time. He does like having them all to himself, after all!

#mochi asks #makilvsu #twst #twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #epel felmier #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #leona kingsholar x reader

140 notes · View notes

onlinetwunk · 2 months ago

Text

I love showing off.. like in any degree that the word can be used… feeling seen and being yourself feels off the charts amazing

#but idk what to do once I get the attention #like I just like to show off not actually talk abt it..#existence by just looking good and being admired & seen #I feel like it’s becoming my whole personality (my body)#after my ex i just need to reclaim what’s really mine… this is literally for me and my confidence

0 notes

themyscirah · 6 months ago

Text

Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually #also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things #doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously #supposed to believe shes wrong #anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr #anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope #also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and #any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther #actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other #stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss #anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller #and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less #informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller #and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours #or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah #interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez #and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also #like british colonization a lil bit #but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight #vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves #whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell #i got off topic here #blah #swishy rant #also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should #always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag #sui sq

94 notes · View notes

dreadfuldevotee · 2 months ago

Text

it is truly so boring that in a series that hits on racism and sexuality that when talking about racism and sexuality in the show and in the fanbase people act like you are making mountains out of mole hills

#yeah i actually am still thinking abt that armand shit show from the other day #because what pissed me off the most are people acting like its crazy to be like #''Hey! maybe you should think about why you think he is undesired and sexually inept when we shown and told the opposite''#we love talking abt how the writers trust the audience to have two braincells and then get offended when asked use them #and- that poc are not safe from upholding racist steeotypes like i rolled my eyes hard asf #actually because that one blogger that posted their response almost immediately after i dm'd them privately #made some vague post being like ''well we never saw them fuck so '' or sm shit idk #and i just had to accept there was no point in wasting my breath #but i also still wanna talk about it because it Is interesting and it Should be broken down in plain english #but dw ima be talking about iwtv and race/sexuality till the crows come home #char.txt

29 notes · View notes

persistentplums · 9 days ago

Text

Billy going from big fan of Rusty to positive friend of Rusty is beautiful but I still think he would looooose his mind when he finds out Pete and Doc have an off and on sexual relationship that kinda happens sometimes but not as much.

Ik Billy eye twitches when he thinks about it too hard but he is normal about it mostly just like. Your childhood hero/sorta hear me out/kid crush hooked up with your older years crush/other hear me out/kinda in a committed deep relationship with would make a mix of “okay stop bragging you guys fucked” and “Rusty that i know now making anyone cum wants to make me torpedo something”

Billy conflicted and also distantly like it’s weirdly good for him? Worlds collide and it’s mildly intriguing in a way where he’s like 🤔 am I…into it🤔

#venture bros #vbros #the venture bros #Billy to me is a great guy who has some freaky qualities come up #to me he’s the trope of nerdy girls being into something so specifically sci-fi show based kink but obviously Rusty venture show #ex the egg thing idk how to spell it coming from I THINK Star Trek don’t quote me on that #like stuff so highly specific for the world but now if you’re in the actual world yourself I think the brain just fires off #like I definitely have a thing bc of venom when I was a kid I saw venom and went 😳#Billy quizboy in the rusty venture show awakened something in me I don’t want to talk abt rn bc I’m a gentleman #vs Pete and doc being like 👍 we had sex it was whatever honestly mostly hand stuff bc Doc can’t relax #mix it together its Billy quizboy in my awakenings are mixed together and its…..alarming

13 notes · View notes

angelsdean · 6 months ago

Text

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life #or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM #like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people #do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap #like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way #his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong #it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong #which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right #but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven #i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit #when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief #but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings #anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure #but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc #a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime #vic.txt #dean and feelings #so i can find this all again later

22 notes · View notes

evaceratops · 2 months ago

Text

now that i think about it i’m actually so mad about midnight’s death because i get the idea of raising the stakes by having the kids lose one of their teachers but why should it have been her and not any of the others. in terms of women in the ua faculty (that we know of) it was literally just her, thirteen, and recovery girl. it could have easily been cementoss or ectoplasm or snipe instead

#not power loader though i like him too much. plus he doesn’t teach any of 1a’s classes as far as i can remember #preferably not snipe either but i could MAYBE accept it #all things considered this show isn’t The Worst Ever about its female characters but it’s also not great about it #also bc it’s aizawa central in my brain why should he have to lose his leg his eye AND one of his precious few real friends #while that bastard endeavor gets off basically scot free. huh.#anyway in my heart she’s just in a coma long enough to scare hizashi into actually talking abt his feelings abt the oboro stuff w shota #and then she’ll wake up #eva.txt #my hero academia #mha posting #edited a little bc i forgot recovery girl im so sorry queen

10 notes · View notes

liquidstar · 8 months ago

Text

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

23 notes · View notes

cent-scratchnsniff · 1 month ago

Text

More sketchy employee profile images. Mostly made to be able to replace the picrew I had in the template I made since I can draw. I did end up just putting it as back and white though but the color is just nice to have. I'm STILL trying to tweak the template since it is very finicky and there is an example of what it looks down below if you're interested. It is a lot. It will happen. I am just not the quickest

There are typos and inconsistencies I missed but in general it should be fine...

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corp agent #lobotomy corp oc #I ALMOST POSTED THIS WITH NO TAGS dude. dude. that or they got eaten which is also a high possibility #a bit lengthy with a lot of text qs well if it is decided to be looked upon. as said before it full of maybe inconsistencies and typos #the reason i keep stalling making it public is because its in GOOGLE DOCS. GOOGLE DOCS!!! and unoptimized for phone viewing so ahh... eh...#there was going to be a later part for notes but it would be around the later days so... cant reallt happen #mostly after cheseds core suppression due to ryn and him having contradictory views up to that point. ryn putting way too much effort into #their job while at that point chesed kind of gave up in a way. not going to ramble too muhc abt that its oc things but the dynamic of that #was something i wanted to talk about a bit.. that and the death of angelina but that happens LATE and near the final days #and communication is down with the rest #i wanted to make more boxes and categories but also for the ease of use i limited it. that and attempting to fit them into pages seemed lik #hell. honestly. eekk!! not up for that. included both for the sake of showcasing. i didnt finish the last ones which was going to be a #showing of an employee with not as many permissions due to ryn and angelina actually both being captains. will do that when i do showcase #and give out the actual template along with other things like images for 'transfer' like another branch #'dismissed' 'resigned' 'deceased' 'mia' which would be for things like backwards clock and wellcheers #there was so much math needed.... it was just adding and checking numbers for a timeline but still..... ew..... that and employee team shit #tried to have it somewhat believable a bit. kind of semi believable to go yeah this could be smthn that is in the corp #employee numbers were based off red shoes entry!! it had been different before but i read it in game since i got it and was like. OHH wait #.... i feel rather embarrassed to post this actually. excited but also embarrassed. likely the idea of showing something i ended up #putting hours into . its probably that. plus the fact its for original creations.... i hope itll be of use some day

10 notes · View notes

waywardsalt · 4 months ago

Text

anyways ph you know when you finish the temple of fire and head back down to the ship and find that linebeck isnt where he usually is, because he’s at astrids? what’s he doing there

#ofc the basic oh its so the player gets that scene with everyone and it prompts you to walk into that scene #but looking at it away from game stuff. hey man whats up whatcha doin over there #its interesting to me while i think abt it now #loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #linebeck #salty talks #cuz like yeah he’s met her before he knows what her deal is but you kinda get the sense that he’s not too enthused?#like if anything he was put off by her somewhat ominous fortune and was like well it doesnt have to be my problem #but later he’s just. at her place. likely of his own volition at a fortune teller’s house. whats up man #its after that second meeting that you get astrid reassuring lnk n ciela that linebeck will eventually be useful too #i dont think ive thought much abt this but it is like. what was he doing there what did they talk about its interesting #just like. a little thing that is one of those fill-in-the-blanks kinda things that could be good for fan speculation #its actually funny bc i always thought abt a scene in my own ver of events where he goes to her at some point for guidance or w/e #n forgot that yeah he does just visit her during the game. i dont really get the vibe that he just showed up right before link does either #anyways on occasion ive thought abt doing that thing where you draww characters or smth from smth and assign them tarot cards and whatnot #for the ph main cast i’d do sun for link moon for linebeck and stars for ciela and the other spirits #i think that fits them. anyways linebeck at astrids whats going on there

7 notes · View notes

inkybinkyboink · 1 year ago

Text

hi ok unpopular thought but you can tell when a cis/het person is playing a queer character because they always prioritize the queerness of their character over anything else

#like were in the middle of urinetown auditions #and this guy is auditioning for barrell #and i am too #and now i dont particularly care #like none of this is to say that his or anyone else's performance is bad or lesser than #but barrell is gay and like you can tell watching this kid perform that that fact is at the forefront of his mind #we were talking abt it later and he was like “yeah your barrell was like really snarky” and im like YEAH bro he kills ppl for a living #like hes not walking around constantly thinking about how hes gay #no gay person walks around fronting the fact that theyre gay #like i dont go to the mall thinking 'i am gay and going to the mall' dude no i just go to the fucking mall #i have a love hate relationship with cis/het performers who play queer characters because you could pull it off???#but youre lacking the subtleties #youre lacking the timing of when these things actually come into play #and again i really do hope this dude the best like honest to god if he gets the part thats great and i know he'll get there like i am #not the one directing this show and i trust the director completely #and im just using that as an example #but you see it in other things too #you can see it in good omens 2 and the danish girl and call me by your name #now compare it to something like cabaret and alan cummings portrayal of emcee #and you can tell theres a level of understanding there thats lacking in the other ones. our flag means death is also another really good #example. while rhys darby and taika waititi arent gay david jenkins is and it comes across in his writing that this is someone who #understands the queer experience and writes in a way that makes it possible for cis/het performers to understand what theyre playing with #turnip rants #delete later probably #all opinions and statements are my own we can coexist

26 notes · View notes

gamesucks · 26 days ago

Text

i should start posting more about stupid shit nobody but me cares about on here. does anyone wanna see my vinyls

#styx says #im feelin talkative but in the way that i wanna yap to an empty room yknow #also i was going through my blog and i mentioned that i have cake vinyls.... i wanna show em + my awesome swag music taste off #actually i didnt think abt How to. should i make a video or make like an ask game out of it ???? i could also just take individual pictures #of each one.... idk ill think abt it #i also did just set up my bookshelf again i could share that too ..... hrm

3 notes · View notes

hoshanti · 1 day ago

Text

some old lady was so rude to me and i had to be "rude" back

#this lady brings the same item up one on clearance for $18 one on clearance for $22 #she goes i want both but i want to pay the lower price #i went 'okay i can fix that for you'#and i notice that the higher price one actually has a higher original price than the one on clearance for $18 #so i'm just about say how it weird it was that they sent it to us like that and maybe that's why it got missed #and she cuts me off and goes 'i don't care i just want the lower price'#and i'm taken a back #bc i wasn't anywhere near implying that i wasn't going to change the price for her #and i was going to make a non aggressive non accusatory comment abt how they sent it to us like that #(like i mentioned before and say how weird it was)#and i'm just like 'um okay'#and she goes 'i don't need to know the reason why'#and i look her directly in the eyes and say 'thank you for you understanding'#to which she goes 'yeah sometimes people just talk to much'#and i again look her directly in the eyes and say 'thank you for your kindness'#so i zip my mouth and fix her shit #i come back still not speaking #i point at the screen to show her her total #she pays and says thanks you #i just smile and nod #and she says something and i go 'oh sorry i thought i was just talking too much'#then she finally backtracks and is like 'sorry we elders are just like that'#and i don't say thank you i don't say have a good day #she tries to leave her cart at my till and the only i say is 'oh we can't have carts blocking the till'#and you can tell her started to feel a little bad #but fuck you bitch #maybe don't be an asshole i hope you learned your lesson #and i was still being kind while being silent i was just doing what she asked!

3 notes · View notes

localguy2 · 1 year ago

Text

I gotta write a Kai centered fic or one shot some time soon man...

Last time I did I unironically had so much, he's so fun to write and especially when he's starting to lose some of that level-headed seriousness and focus he has in actually dangerous situations.

#ninjago #kai smith #I love Kai so much #His motivation are set up so well and its opens the door for him to have really specific but good dynamics #Like a few days ago when I pointed out how he and Zane *DEFINITELY* have something going on #I'm still thinking about that post yeah #Because fuck me they're both so samiliar in so many regards #Amazing big brothers potential if you talk abt those two #Oh not to mention Lloyd and Nya #Definitely a responsibility of ensuring they're safe and all #He's such a caring person but fuck me does he rarely show that #He's a little guy give him love #ACTUALLY just give him Ray and Maya he deserves to have some time off with his parents #This all being said however #If you ever see me abruptly stop posting about Zane for a while and then come back with a completely different character #Not that something's up CUZ THAT AIN'T ME #I will never shut the fuck up about Zane 'Ninjago' Julien.

31 notes · View notes

wildevenusian · 1 month ago

Text

i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?

can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit

#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me #i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to #me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited #still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free #and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk #and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted #tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt #and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought #that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners #bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever #especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but #despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people #or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend #i’m just. noticing behaviors #they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i #idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it #so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all #bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting #ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel #discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all #and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth #which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about #but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them #humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol

3 notes · View notes

dorkicon · 1 year ago

Text

bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind #for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at #and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years #only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down #despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down #so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen #and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it #and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first #--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl #bc of course they dont give a shit about the library #they just care about how scary the queers are #and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town #and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time #(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the #--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting #the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display #its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages #talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w #--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens #sourse: i was one of tgose #and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk #and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look #--elsewhere #bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater #--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education #i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too #but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in #--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on

18 notes · View notes