#like I get tired it’s just at stupid and inconvenient times and also I don’t sleep long | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

honeybeedrabble · 2 years ago

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can i get a shikamaru x reader, where they are on a mission together to the sand village and perhaps only one bed 😈😈 (also include gaara if u can i love sand emos) - also only one tent and pillow wall

MDNI 18+

OMG. THIS !!!! mission sex? probably the hottest sex. at least for shinobi. something about shikamaru improperly using shadow paralysis while the Kazekage feels you up in his office 😳😳

CW: AFAB reader x shikamaru x gaara, somnophilia, mission sex, only one tent, only one sleeping bag, handjob, cum eating (?), eiffel tower, MFM threesome, improper use of shadow possession, pet names, unprotected piv (don’t be stupid), cream pie (don’t be stupid), oral (m receiving) lmk what else lol

September 22. It was September 22, Shikamaru’s 19th birthday and yet he was summoned by the Hokage for a mission. Sure, he could’ve just declined, everyone told him to anyways, but Shikamaru knew some things had to be done. And yeah, he complained the whole time that it was ‘a drag to work on his birthday’ but with his wallet running slimmer by the day, a low risk mission to the hidden sand didn’t seem like the worst idea for a couple ryō. He figured he’d throw a bigger belated birthday party after he got paid so to him it was whatever.

When he was summoned to the Hokages quarters and saw that he wouldn’t be alone, but instead paired up with you? Oh baby… it was a win-win for Shikamaru all around. The mission itself was easy, travel to the hidden sand, deliver a few scrolls and plant a few medicinal herbs native to konoha. Since the war has been passed for a few years, the allied nations don’t seem to have any animosity towards each other and the path ahead should be clear.

It didn’t take long for you two to head out, traveling west to the village. You hadn’t exactly come prepared, telling Shikamaru that you had already been assigned for this mission before he had so you had only packed one tent and one sleeping bag. Luckily you had enough hindsight to see you might have some food or water shortages, especially in the desert heat, and rations weren’t an issue.

When traveling, Shikamaru told you to lead the way so he could keep a better eye on you. But to be honest, he was just staring at your ass the whole time, watching your hips sway side to side after each step you took. It caught him off gaurd when you turned you head to speak to him.

“Hey, isn’t it your birthday?” you asked, ignoring the feeling you thought you caught him staring at your ass (you did).

“Yeah, why’d you ask?”

“I dunno, I guess never took you for the type to not celebrate your birthday.” You replied with a shrug. Shikamaru raised a brow.

“ What d’you mean?”

“Well I mean… going on a three day mission to the hidden sand and back doesn’t quite strike me as a celebration,” you said with a laugh. Shikamaru chuckled.

“I guess you’re right. It is a real drag having to do this but I need the money anyways. Besides, if I didn’t come you’d be out here all by yourself, who’d protect you then?” He smirked. You blushed, shrugging off your flustered reaction with an eye roll.

“Pft, maybe someone who brought their own sleeping bag,” you teased.

“Touché. But you have to admit, the company’s nice.”

“It is... Happy birthday, Shikamaru.”

“Thanks.”

______________________________________________

You two had somehow traveled a little ways past the halfway point, and you could tell by how late it was partnered with how tired you felt. After a long dinner of canned soup, protein bars, jerky and dried fruit you had pulled out the tent. Snapping each piece together with a small click each time. You threw the cover on and tucked in the corners, zipping the tents zippers in place before unzipping and crawling in. Once you were in you rolled out your sleeping bag.

“Do you want to share?” You asked, unzipping the zipper and opening up the bag. Shikamaru was slightly taken aback and shook his head.

“No it’s fine, s’my fault I didn’t pack a bag, I don’t want to inconvenience you.” He said, laying down on the grass. You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“It’s big enough for the both of us, trust me I’ve had to do this on a few missions before. Nothing I’m not used to.” You reassured, laying down inside. You motioned with your hands for him to come inside and he let out a small huff.

“Fine, but only cause you wore me down.” He said, trying to hide his excitement.

He crawled into the tent, immediately he could tell how much warmer it was with you. Shikamaru got in next to you and zipped the bag up behind him. He nestled closer to you and you flipped on your side facing away from him, and he settled in against your back in the snug sleeping bag.

“I’m sorry about your birthday,” you said, still facing away. His head sunk lower near yours.

“Don’t worry. It’s going a lot better than I thought it was,” he said low and sleepy.

You had fallen asleep pretty fast, he could tell because of the soft, steady breaths you took besides him. While you were happily sleeping, you didn’t anticipate occasionally grinding into him. The push of your ass was enough to keep Shikamaru awake, and he couldn’t help himself from sleepily grinding into you. When you stirred for a moment Shikamaru stilled immediately, his heart pounding out of his chest. When he heard your sleepy sighs and breaths he went back to his prior movements.

He continued to press himself against you, moving when you did. The curve of your ass hugging the outline of his dick euphorically. However, the pleasure was subsided by his need for sleep and his hips stopped meeting yours in an attempt to save energy. He realized most of the grinding was on his part and not yours, when he stopped you had. Slowly he drifted off, fighting the urge to not jerk himself off under your shared sleeping bag while you dreamt.

_______________________________________________

The second day you two had decided to take things easier and walk half of the time rather than run. While you were leading, Shikamarus gaze felt hungrier. Everytime you looked back, his eyes lingered on your ass far too long to be a coincidence. You had a feeling yesterday, but today had confirmed your suspicions.

“So, what are you planning on doing when you get home?” You asked him, turning your head to look at him. His eyes lingered on your ass for a few seconds shamelessly before snapping up and meeting yours.

“I’m going straight home, I’ve got something in mind,” he said, his lips curling into a small smirk. You were confused.

“What do you mean? Are you gonna have the party at your house?” You asked. Shikamaru let out a small laugh, his hand reaching down to adjust his crotch, his semi hard on making itself present.

“Sure, I guess I can call it a party. But it’s gonna be a party of just myself, unless you wanted to join me?” His eyes had gotten darker and filled with lust as they returned to your ass. You felt your face heat and you felt naked under Shikamarus gaze.

“Um… sure. We can have a small party before everyone gets there. You said you wanted it at your house?” You asked, trying desperately to get his attention. He looked up at your again, his hand adjusting his pants again.

“More specifically my bedroom,” he whispered coming up behind you. He brushed the back of his hand against your ass before passing you and taking the lead himself with you to follow.

____________________________________________________________

That night when sleeping with Shikamaru in the tent under your sleeping bag, Shikamaru was a mess. He spent 24 hours sexually frustrated, all while he was alone with you. He was a wreck and couldn't help himself to the cruve of your ass for a second night. He was sure you were alseep, but he didn't care if you werent.

He wrapped his arms around you, mercilessly grinding himself into your hips while you stirred underneath him. You couldn't fall back asleep with his movements and you were so turned on it was almost painful. You could feel yourself drenched with arousal as he abused your ass cheeks with his hard cock. You didn't know if you should pretend to be asleep or rock your hips into him and risk him stopping.

Shikamaru was animalistic, growling and whimpering into your ear as his arms flexed around your core, and you couldn't pretend for any longer. You smashed yourself into his groin, grinding pleasantly against his dick. An arm came out from its grip on your waist and gripped your wrist tightly. He unbuckled his pants with the other and brought your hand down to his boxers, where he palmed himself with your hand.

You couldn't help but gasp lightly, feeling how large he swelled under your touch. He hissed as your fingers traced the outline, then shoved his boxers aside for his dick to spring out. He guided your hand to his dick, where you reached out for his tip. He let out a shaky exhale as you smeared his precum around his angry tip, dragging the liquid arousal down his shaft and back up. He groaned in your ear, fucking your fist from behind as you lay at your side.

"Shit- you've got some soft hands." He let out between breaths, slowing his pace to feel every crease of your palm wrapped around his cock.

He picked up his pace, suddenly feeling too crazed with lust to savor your touch. He reached under you, pulling your other arm behind you to add to his pleasure. You whined, rubbing your thighs together sleepily for any friction you could get, the stitch of your pants working just enough to have you craving more. You closed your eyes, imagining how his cock looked soaking wet with his own precum as you jerked him off, his heavy, euphoric breaths mixing with the squelch of your grip on his shaft.

You pumped upwards, your thumb circling his drooly tip and he whined bucking himself into your finger.

"Ah- fuckkk. Do that again. Get as much as you can and slather it over my cock." he instructed, his voice straining. You did, dragging his precum and coating his shaft with the liquid. His breath hitched for a second, grapsing your hands from behind you and cupping them together in front of his tip.

"Fuck-Fuck-Fuck," He moaned heavily, grasping his dick and angrilly pumping it with his own hands. "Ngh- fuck. ahhh..." He spilled his thick ropes into your hands, the ribbons full and heavy. As soon as he finished cumming he dragged his dick into the cupped seed, fucking your hands one last time before putting himself away.

"Eat up," he smirked, whispering in your ear lazily. He fell asleep soon after and you wiped your hands off on your pants with your inner thigh. You licked a finger, tasting his cum and felt hornier than ever. You had to go to sleep that night without touching yourself, not wanting to get his leftover cum inside of you.

__________________________________________________________

The next morning morning neither of you spoke about the previous night. Shikamaru was internally cursing himself for being so unprofessional and letting his perversions get to him. You however, were craving more. You didn’t get to see him that night, how his eyebrows knotted and his eyes pinched shut as his mouth fell open letting out pleasurable moans while cumming several roles into your palms. You thought about it a lot and by the time you two reached the hidden sand you were soaking.

These scrolls were important and by no means was anyone allowed to open or read the contents inside. In order to prevent any curious eyes, you and Shikamaru were ordered to deliver them to the Kazekage himself. When you entered the building the Kazekag was sat at his desk, the room empty as he awaited your arrival.

“Ah, the hidden leaf shinobi. I take it that the journey was easy?” He asked.

“Yeah, the way over wasn’t too bad, Lord Gaara.” Shikamaru said, stepping in with you to follow, closing the door behind you.

“Thats a relief, I’m aware that your birthday was two days ago so I apologize for the abrupt mission. And please Shikamaru, no reason to be so formal with such an old friend.” Gaara said with a small smile. Shikamaru nodded. “And hello to you too,” Gaara said, switching the conversation towards you. You smile.

“Hello, Lord Gaara! It’s nice seeing you again. I wish it was under different circumstances though, with the journey back we’ll have to get on our way soon.” You sigh sadly.

“Now now, no need to rush. I haven’t seen you in a while, why don’t you sit down? I missed you.” Gaaras voice was lower, his eyes gently looking into yours. You felt hot suddenly, and definitely didn’t want to act weird around the Kazekage. You needed some air.

“Um, sure. Sorry, I’ll be back I just need some air.” You said, fanning yourself. You spun around and headed for the door when suddenly your body froze in place. You grunted trying to move your legs when you watched thick, black stripes make their way up your legs. Your eyes widened, turning you head behind you.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Shikamaru asked demandingly, his eyes narrowed looking at yours. Shadow paralysis. He walked up to you and turned you around, still stuck in his jutsu.

“What are you doing, Captain?” you whined, looking back at the men in front of you. Shikamaru wandered behind you, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your neck.

“Fuck- I’ve been thinking about this all mission. That handy you gave me last night isn’t nearly enough, I need you.” he breathed heavy into your skin. You felt your body shake, a vibration sent down your spine as Shikamaru nibbled gently on your delicate skin. You watched through half lidded eyes as Gaara approached you, his hands sliding between your shirt and vest and he slid the vest off- it hit the floor with a light thud.

“I haven’t seen you in months,” He whispered, grabbing your waist and rubbing small circles with his thumbs. “I almost forgot how you felt,” He added. Gaara grabbed the end of your shirt, pulling it over your head slowly and watching as your skin started to reveal itself under the lifted fabric. As he tossed the garment to the floor, Shikamaru was quick to undo your bra clasps, pushing the straps off your shoulders as the underwear landed on your shirt and vest on the ground.

“So beautiful,” Gaaras eyes were blown and dark, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into him. His head dipped down to your tits, popping a hardened nipple into his mouth and rolling it between his tongue. You couldn’t help but let out a soft breath, still unable to move the paralysis placed on you. You tried struggling with the jutsu, yet ultimately unable to undo yourself from Shikamarus power.

He grabbed your head and pulled it to the side, then pulled himself into your lips, crashing into you with a messy kiss. You moaned into his mouth, your cunt already wet with arousal as Gaara fondled your other fit in his hand. Shikamaru was able to silence your moans with his tongue as it lazily lapped at yours slowly and softly. He opened his mouth and a trail of spit connected you two together.

“Goddamn, you make me crazy. I ought to bend you over that desk and take you for myself.” Shikamaru said, grabbing a fistful of your ass. You whined, the feeling of his shadow around you tightening.

“Don’t be selfish. You can have her all you want back at the leaf, I don’t have that luxury,” Gaara said, popping your tit out of his mouth with a pop. “Ngh- I want to touch you… be inside you… taste you… I have to have you, beautiful. Right on my desk.” Gaara picked you up, Shikamarus shadow possession allowing you to wrap your legs around him.

He brought you to his desk, Shikamaru standing in front of it with you and Gaara behind. You felt the jutsu gently leave, allowing you to move better. You bent of the desk, Gaaras chest pressed against your back as his hands trailed down your stomach down to your core. He unbuttoned you pants from the back, grabbing the zipper and slowly pulling it down. He then lifted off of you and pulled your pants and panties off together. He whimpered softly as he watched your slick covered underwear fall down your thighs. You stepped out of your pants, naked and splayed out on the desk, shaking gently in arousal.

“I knew it, you were wet,” Gaara groaned, palming his erection through his pants. Shikamaru smirked, undoing his pants and sliding them half way down his thighs. You reached for his boxers, grabbing his waistband and freeing his hard cock. You whined in excitement, pleased by the sight of his hard dick already wet with precum.

Gaara thrusted his clothed dick into your wet cunt, you breathed deeply, tossing your head back to look back at him. He backed off just to undo his own pants, freeing his own sizable dick. You watched as he rubbed the head of his cock against your wet entrance and you both moan in need. He pushed slightly in, you moaned heavily as you felt him part you in half, his thick cock already nudging a spongy spot inside of you. He pushed the rest of his length in and bottomed out inside of you with a raspy groan.

Shikamaru was getting impatient, gliding his hand up and down his girthy length. He positioned his head at your opened mouth and you accepted his angry red tip with gratitude. He hisses in delight, his fingers digging into your hair as your slid him down your throat until he hit the back. You gagged around his length, then slowly released him, grabbing his dick and licking his tip to taste his salty precum, remembering what little you tasted last night.

“You look so beautiful with dick in your mouth. Ngh- feel so warm… so wet… Ahh, I can’t help myself.” Gaara huffed out, slowly sliding out of you before roughly thrusting himself into you again. You moaned around Shikamarus cock, slick running down your thighs as the momentum pushed you further down Shikamarus shaft. Shikamaru winced, his grip on your hair loosening.

“Sucking dick like a natural, I don’t even think I need to put in any work,” He smirked, resting his hand on the back of your head as Gaara stuffed you full of his rock-hard cock. He stuffed you roughly with a tight grip on your hips, you chocking on Shikamarus cock as he gasped in delight.

“Good girl,” Shikamaru praised, running a hand through your hair. You eyes watered as you looked up at him through your lashes, grabbing onto his thighs.

“So tight.. Oh fuuck you’re running down my thighs. Ahhh, beautiful girl, I’m going to miss this pussy,”Gaara grunted, pistoning you full with each snap of his hips. You drooled down Shikamarus cock, your jaw sore from his jolting thrusts inside you mouth. You tan your tongue up and down, tracing a vein that ran along his shaft as his precum continued to fill your mouth.

“Good girl, sucking me like a perfect cock whore. Shit… I’m almost there baby.” Shikamaru stifled, his hips gently thrusting into the back of your throat. You whined around his length, wishing that the pleasure would never end, regardless of your own high quickly approaching.

“Go ahead, love. Cum on this dick. I want to see you choke on his dick as you choke my cock,” Gaara lewdly growled, thirsting into you faster. Shikamaru groaned deeply as you moaned, the vibrations of your throat stimulating him in a new way as he came several ropes into your mouth. You tried swallowing each mouthful as you clenched around Gaaras cock, pulsing around him as warm, salty cum was poured down your throat.

“Fuuuck! Ahh- oh god… Your mouth is so good, you did so good.” Shikamaru praises, bending down to your level and holding your face in his hands as Gaara continues to sloppily fuck you. Shikamaru kissed you, sliding his tongue back into your mouth and tasting himself on your lips. You moan in his mouth still cumming around Gaara as his grip on your hips tighten.

“Ohhh… Yes! Almost, almost- I’m almost there. You’re s-so good,” Gaara breathed. “Cum with me,” Gaara said, hitting your spots just right. Your core aches as you came undone on his Kazekage desk, Shikamaru kissing you all over as Gaara pummeled you and then stilled, cumming deep inside of your pulsating cunt.

“Fuck! T-Thank you, Lord Gaara!” You cried into Shikamarus mouth, your legs shaking as the man behind you overstimulated you into a moaning puddle. Shikamaru planted one last kiss on your lips before he stood up and tucked himself away into his pants. Gaara lay ontop of you, occasionally pushing himself into you as he slowly softened until he pulled out, his cum spilling onto your naked thighs. He kissed the nape of you neck deeply, then stood up and pulled back up his boxers and pants.

You lie there fucked out and stupid, Shikamaru and Gaara exchanged scrolls while Shikamaru went digging through your bag for medicinal herbs that you brought with you.

“Excuse me, Shikamaru?” Gaara asked, completely ignoring the fact you were still naked and shuddering on his desk. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?” He asked.

“I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday one last time,” Gaara smiled. Shikamaru stifled a laugh.

“Thanks, I think this might’ve been my best birthday so far.” He smirks, his gaze landing on you. You whimpered in embarrassment, still naked as the men in front of you softly embraced you in their stares.

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fungus-no69 · 7 months ago

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hope lovecraft is rolling in his grave as I write this. I hope more people write about eldritch horrors being gay and shit. lovecraftian gay sex… (i do not write smut)

Context: it is a beautiful day in rapechestershire and you are a horrible monstrosity

Content: Body horror I guess, reader is a little petty (deserved), dol typical bullying, brief and non graphic gore in Kylar’s, mentioned animal death in Remy’s (you are Eating The Cows), some spoilers for Ivory Wraith’s lore

Remembering to oxidise your body is a burden, making your heart beat is a chore, remembering to move the rest of your vessel with your expressions is tiring. What do animals even need these rigid pieces of flesh for?

…though you quickly realised the value of muscles when your meat began to droop around your faux bones which is something you’re fairly certain does not happen to mortals.

Of course, you can’t maintain a full rest while above water in this fashion. You’ve come to learn that humans do not particularly enjoy a mass of greasy limbs, mottled flesh and gunky mucus spread on the floor. 'Sleeping' is nice though, as limited as your opportunities are. Humans are fickle creatures and that also applies to their sleeping habits.

Nonetheless. You need to practise your human-form-making skills. And what better way to learn about appearing more human than to attend the industry of learning itself?

Whitney:

Why this blonde mortal took an interest in you? You're not sure.

One day they were there and they never left

They’re always poking at your vessel. Rude…

Thanks to them and their lackeys you had to learn how to fake falling over when punched because apparently it’s strange to just stand there and take a hit without flinching.

They know somethings wrong with you but they can’t put their finger on it, this leads to even more bullying

Most of their harassment is about how you look and act apart from the straight up sexual assault.

They once saw you slip up on your transformation because it was a particularly irritating day and you briefly reintroduced your habit of scaring off others by posturing.

Not your finest moment, I say. They passed out because your mutilated structure was too much for their poor human mind to handle.

Thankfully you can help them forget the incident or write it off as some weird drug induced hallucination. (by distracting them with something inconvenient when they wake up. Like an ice cube in their mouth. Or a cut to their gums.)

You can’t let something like that happen again

Sydney:

You don't know why they're looking at you weirdly. You have the correct amount of teeth this time. You checked.

They help you out when people ask you stupid questions like 'are you a ventriloquist?' 'how can you bend that far?' and 'hey where'd your elbows go?'

It’s always awkward to dismiss yourself during those encounters, considering your ‘schoolmates’ don’t tend to let things go and are rather fixated on following their more malicious instincts towards you than letting you leave. So Sydney’s help is appreciated.

You leave little gifts for them in the library. A book you found in the lake and dried, the foot of a rabbit (humans find that lucky right?), little shiny objects you discover while walking around.

You’re far from weak or incapable but Sydney’s interventions make keeping up the act more bearable.

Over time they find that they become enamoured with you and that’s terrifying to them. One, because they’ve never felt like this before and two, Jordan seems to disapprove of you in some way? They don’t explain why but they warn Sydney about you. Which raises some issues which you don't completely understand for all of your infinite (old) wisdom.

As they become more corrupted, they get a bit more pushy with their ‘subtle’ questions about you- thankfully they never nag for too long.

You fear that Sydney, loyal and kind Sydney, will leave you when they find your true nature. That they will find you repulsive like many before them.

Thus, you will hide your true nature from them. No matter how often they ask or the fact that they know something is off- you can never let them confirm those suspicions.

Kylar:

You see the way the shadows loom over this mortal- they are more connected to the other worlds than they realise.

This draws you to them in a way, having someone who is more connected to your home than everyone around you. And them to you, though you suspect this may have happened regardless of your identity.

Kylar is another anomaly in a sea of others who look different but are fundamentally indiscernible. If you were to cut open a human and pry open their ribcage, you would find the same thing in each one. But not yours. And perhaps not Kylar’s.

They seem to feel a strange compulsion to protect you. You’ve seen this type of behaviour with Sydney and maybe Whitney to an extent, but never to the intensity that a knife was procured.

You understand that the utensil is sharp but you're a little bit confused to why the students run away when they see it? Stabbing someone requires strength and you're fairly certain Kylar is not very strong.

Surprisingly, they were the first one to ask about why you speak the way you do. When asked what they meant they told you that you speak in a very formal manner. Your expression must have made a change in some way because they quickly apologise profusely for offending you. It doesn't.

If you sulk about it a little then that's nobody's business other than your own.

Harper:

You get sent to the asylum for your silly behaviour (crimes and general strangeness that does not pass for mentally healthy) and Harper tries to gaslight you "there are no tentacles they aren't real" explain this.

You don’t have a firm grasp on human behaviour yet, especially when it comes to being polite but c'mon. Even you know this guy is a weirdo.

They will inevitably learn about your true nature regardless of how hard you conceal it.

Hypnotism doesn’t work on you, your blood is too dark and thin to resemble a human’s, sometimes you forget to make your heart beat etc.

They’re not as freaked out as you thought they’d be but they do want to run some tests on you

You say no thank you because even if it’s just for ‘personal research’ you don’t want your inhumanity on record (and Harper’s a creep)

They attempt to blackmail you in a sense but you stand strong on your opinion. Who would they tell and even then, who would believe them? And then there’s the fact that there is no human nor invention that can contain or incapacitate you.

You may meet them on your vacation to Remy’s farm, they’re initially confused to see you there but just as easily accept it. As much as they want to understand you- you’re not exactly human, so they don’t expect you to act by the rules of humans.

It would almost be nice if they didn’t finish their little spiel by dragging you to a stage. Stares make your epidermis feel like there’s little bugs underneath it and you feel the urge to peel it off to escape the unpleasant sensation. You don’t, because that would reveal you.

You end your holiday by trashing their office.

Remy:

You originally came across their farm because you were hungry. Remy, of course, noticed the dwindling population of their cows and went to investigate. Lo and behold- they found you.

They don’t know for sure if you’re involved in the missing cows but they suspect you’ve stolen them or something. Not that you ate them.

You allow yourself to be captured, you could annihilate these puny humans if you wanted to but something tells you this place will grant you rest and food.

The fact they stole your clothes was mildly irritating but you can easily get some when you return 'home'. What do humans call it? The five finger discount? You're not sure what having five fingers has to do with saving currency but you appreciate it regardless.

You don’t develop transformations. You lack the biology to do so, but seeing other cattle develop their features tips you off to the fact you’re supposed to be gaining ears and such so you try to replicate them…

The farmhand who opens your stable in the morning almost shits their pants

You don’t try again after that.

Remy is wondering why their cattle are STILL disappearing.

Ivory Wraith:

They are much similar to yourself, tethered to this mortal realm through an object. Though their emotions are a bit more… uncontrollable than yours.

But perhaps that came with being human. Formerly, you suppose. Not that you would know what it’s like to be human.

They know your existence is eternal, will last for much longer than their own given their own circumstances.

Inevitably, they belong to this world and you do not.

Nonetheless you understand each other to a point, with both of you being non human and somewhat incorporeal.

They vaguely recognise you from long ago, a painting or two within the temple depicting a monster. They had never really examined it, being too unsettled to do so.

They also remember that during the schism, they felt the presence of something much larger than themself. They suspect it may be you, though they’re not certain.

No matter, you're here now.

…

It is the first time you have felt desire for something other than rest in centuries.

You have never been one to want. You do not experience emotion as deeply as mortals (or former mortals) do, somehow simultaneously deeper but so shallowly. You do not feel affection, and even if you have, it has surely been so long since then that you have forgotten. And yet…

You think this strange feeling in your fleshy midsection is the closest to love you can get.

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feroshgirlsims · 2 months ago

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Chapter 8.4 - Flesh of My Flesh

VLAD

Vlad talks over pancakes. He explains the pointy-eared man. He explains the light and the smoke and the way he’s noticed a glimmer popping up in the corner of his eye. He explains his theories, his anxieties, and the worst part of the whole thing—his attraction because it was inconvenient to be turned on by someone who might be imaginary.

They don’t dismiss him. They don’t argue.

“The world is a complicated place,” Nikolas says.

“You have systems,” Josef says, “You need to use them. You need to be tethered, or else you’ll float away.”

It’s the same thing he’s been told since he was a child. Vlad finishes his plate and curls up with his father on the couch while Nikolas gets a fire going. “I’m tired.”

“Of course you are,” Josef rustles Vlad’s hair, “Since you was a baby you never slept. You been riding all day and thinking non-stop. You need rest. You get cranky if not, hell, we all do.”

“But it’s not just sleep,” Vlad insists. “I feel on the cusp of something big. Like something is about to shift and I’ve just been waiting my whole life for it. But now I’m tired of prowling and pacing and waiting for it to come.”

“Soon,” Nikolas soothes when he sits down. “You just be patient. World is complicated, but things become clear when they’re meant to. In the meantime, I ever told you about the time I was chasing a target, and they ducked down a mine shaft?”

He has, but Vlad lets his grandfather tell it anyway because it's a good story.

---

It takes a few more days before Vlad feels like he’s back to himself. They’re strange days. He sleeps a lot. He hears his parents argue, not the usual shouting obscenities and making idle threats, but the hushed whispers that tell him it's about something real.

He meets William for that barley bale.

He manages to turn in the bare minimum of his assignments—mostly perfunctory since he intends to cheat his grades, but it’s a good exercise.

And he does catch up with Alice. He wishes he’d done it sooner. Yes, he’s still seeing an attractive pointy-eared man who might possibly be imaginary, but keeping track of her requires his undivided attention.

Like now when she was supposed to meet him at the Commons over an hour ago. Vlad can tell she was here because she’s forgotten her headphones.

It was something other sims noticed, too.

—To their detriment.

He finally locates Alice in the graduate dorm study room. “Greetings, Magpie. I’m sorry I was away for so long. I wasn’t feeling well.”

She whirls around, “Oh shit! What time is it? How late am I? I’m sorry! Are those my headphones?”

“Yes,” Vlad says, handing them over. "And don’t worry; I entertained myself. What are you doing?”

“Nothing!” She groans. “Well, not really nothing. I need to research that secret society I’ve been tracking, but I don’t read or do books. I mean, I can, but it’s hard.“ Her head dips, and she tries to avoid his gaze. “I usually use a voice reader for anything long or listen to audiobooks, but for whatever Watcher-forsaken reason, the research machine doesn’t have a headphone jack or even Bluetooth. So now I’m stuck.”

“Would you like help?”

“I’m not stupid,” she replies fiercely.

“And you like books,” he adds, arching a brow. “You simply use an alternate method to read. I think you need an assistant. And as it turns out, I love traipsing through endless reams of text and boring books.”

Immediately, her eyes light up. “So, I’m the boss of you?”

The delight etched across Alice’s face at the idea of being in charge of him is enough to send Vlad into the stratosphere. It also spawns a fantasy that makes his pulse race. Something inside him unwinds and stretches. It wraps fingers around his rib cage and peers out past his heart, pleased and bound.

“Yes, I do very well with specific instructions. Feel free to demand whatever you want.”

PREV | NEXT

(Part 4 of 4)

#ts4 #simblr #The Save File Chronicles #Season 1 #POV: Vladislaus Straud #Sims 4 Story #Occult Stuff #Vlad needs a boss #thank goodness he finds one #prolly should do an interview #or like ask a question #but that is not his style #good luck alice

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crypticcowboys · 9 months ago

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omg hi !!! i just read ur new mike hc and OMG ITS SO CUTHEUERU will cry everyday thinking abt it. but i also saw that ur requests are open for mike and i’ve been DYING FOR SOME MIKE SCHMIDT FICS the rage abt him was too short😔 i was thinking something similar with the hc that you already have but with a little angst? maybe him waking up from a bad dream and just needing his gf? i just wanna see some domesticity with him and abby and just the gf taking care of them just to help him a little THE MAN NEEDS A BREAK PLS idk i think it would be super sweet. i hope ur having a good day!! if u don’t wanna take up this request that is totally a-o-kay🩷

a/n: i am so sorry. i completely forgot about this sizzling in my inbox and it has now been SEVEN MONTHS since this movie's release. but this was such a cute idea, i needed to finish it!! im so sorry and i apologize if youve moved on from this man omg LMAO pairing : mike schmidt x gn!reader warnings : kind of heavy angst w/delving into mike's thought process, mentions of nightmares, otherwise fluff. partly proofread. SPOILERS! (but you guys... probably dont need the warning by now, right?)

mike's nightmares (dreams?) about garrett didn't really... go away after everything that happened at freddy's. sure, it gave him some ounce of comfort knowing that he'd found the man who took his brother-- one of his lifelines, away from him, and also knowing that the same man who took his brother was now dead. but regardless, it didn't take the memories nor the guilt away. mike is, and has always been convinced that everything bad leading up to now must've been his fault. starting with garrett, all the way up to vanessa's coma, no matter how many times you've told him otherwise.

and that lingering guilt seeps into his dreams, too. he's had less dreams about garrett, and he's slowly started to have actual stupid, brief, 'normal' dreams that he can't even remember once he wakes up ever since he stopped taking the ambien; he could now safely fall asleep to the sounds of your breathing, the soothing motions of your hands in his hair, and the crickets outside rather than the repetitive nature sounds on the walkman. but when the dreams about garrett happen, they're... different. they aren't the same sequence that would usually happen in his dreams like before. he can't even remember what happens in them anymore, his memory fading as soon as he wakes up as if he hadn't dreamt anything at all-- but he's always waking up with sweat condensed on his brow, his heart racing out of his chest, and a lingering feeling of dread tugging at his heart, always feeling like somebody was watching him. he'd often wake up with a gasp, or a brief shout. it brought an aching feeling like no ofher— and while he doesn't remember the dreams anymore, the aching feeling is still the same he used to get when he was searching for why, and who kidnapped his brother. and there's another overwhelming feeling of guilt too— how could he ever even think of trading his sister for garrett?

sometimes you wake up from his violent shudders or sobbing, sometimes you don't. and when you do, you're there in a heartbeat-- your body moving faster than your sluggish, tired brain to pull him close and hug him tightly into your chest as he sobs incoherent words, not caring about his cries moving through the thin walls. he'll always apologize no matter how many times you tell him that there's no need to. he woke you up. shouldn't he feel bad about that? he just doesn't want to inconvenience you anymore. but you're pulling him out of his thoughts quickly, comforting him before he even gets a chance to regret waking you up.

it doesn't take him long to calm down whenever you're around to hold him, just like how he needed. the both of you breathing softly, the only sounds audible being your heartbeat and the wind rustling the leaves of the trees outside. quiet, just what mike needed. just like what he craved, with you.

"'m so tired." he'd whisper, blinking slowly as he traced absentminded patterns on the skin of your collarbone, the repetition soothing him. he always liked doing that. and he liked when you did the same thing with him.

"i know." you'd whisper back— and he didn't need to head anything else to feel your overwhelming care for him. it was still so confusing for him to adjust to— the fact that you wanted him even after all of the fucked up shit he went through. no— you didn't just want him, you loved him. held him without a care in the world, and you'd do it in a heartbeat. you learned his body language— knowing exactly what he needed and when. you were his home— you and abby were his home.

one morning, he's waking up alone. not really something that concerned him— you had stuff to do. like work, taking abby to school when you insisted he stay home and rest. he rubs his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling for a bit longer before pushing himself out of bed— there's no use in dwelling on last night, anyways.

mike shuffles out of bed with a yawn, scratching at the skin riding up on his shirt before feeling something wrap around him at torso level. he looks down, and it's abby. he gives her a small smile, bending down slightly to wrap his arms around her, and she giggles. "i'm not supposed to say anything." she whispers, rocking back on her feet slightly. okaaay... secrets right when he woke up, just what he needed. but he smells something good— pancakes? that has him shuffling right into the kitchen, staring at you tending to the stove, the perfect image of domesticity.

as abby's shuffling into the living room to go watch labrynth once more, mike paddles behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, giving a small kiss to your collarbone as he's staring down at your perfect hands, watching you make breakfast. usually he was the one to make breakfast— what was the special occasion? "i'm guessing this is what abby was being secretive about?" he grinned softly, breathing in the warm scent of your hair. soft. you were soft.

"i told her she wasn't supposed to say anything." you replied back, giving a soft 'hmph' as you eyed abby from the kitchen with a soft smile on your face, turning the heat off to the stove before turning around to face your boyfriend. the eggs were done cooking, anyways. "just... thought i'd do something nice for you. let you sleep in a little." your voice was soft, held implications of last night's nightmares shaking mike violently awake. he... didn't get much sleep whenever they happened. his eyes fluttered softly at the feeling of your hands carding through his hair again, and he's already about to fall asleep right at the stove.

you're prepared for him to pout, claim that breakfast was his job and that you shouldn't have gotten out of bed so early with the fact that you had so much stuff to do. but instead— he gives you a soft, bashful smile as he grabs your hand gently, kissing your palm. "thank you. y'know I love you, right?" he whispered, giving you a gentle peck on your lips. fuck morning breath.

"i love you." you whispered back, moving to lean in another time before you're hearing a dramatic gag from the living room, coming from abby. you and mike are scoffing with soft grins as the both of you depart from eachother— but still never looking away.

he never really worried about his nightmares after that, anyway.

#still not over the fact that i forgot about this for over 5 months #forgive me #love writing him though #mike schmidt is autistic #mike schmidt x male reader #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x fem!reader #movie!mike schmidt #fnaf movie #mike schmidt x gn!reader #fnaf x reader #fnaf mike #mike schmidt x you

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vodika-vibes · 1 year ago

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Come With Me

Summary: You're an information broker, one of the better ones in the Outer Rim. Your boyfriend, Mandalorian Bounty Hunter Fox, has finally returned to you with an offer.

Pairing: Bounty Hunter!Fox x Reader

Word Count: 845

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023

A/N: Do I have requests that I could be working on? Yes. But I'm in a Fox mood, so I wrote this instead. Also, Fox is the love of my life. And, the weather is stupid and I need to move away from the computer to ice my knee, or heat my knee. Real World Tip, from your vod'ika! Don't ignore joint injuries, because you could end up with arthritis! Like me!

Divider by Saradika

You open the door to your apartment, and stop dead in your tracks when you see the beskar armor sitting neatly on the shelf next to your coat rack. And you sigh deeply.

“You know,” You call into the house, “You could call before breaking into my home.”

“It’s not breaking in when I have a door code, mesh’la.” A deep male voice calls from somewhere deeper in your apartment.

You roll your eyes and toss your waterlogged jacket over the drying rack. You kick off your boots, and head into your apartment proper, “Did you at least make me food?” You ask as you walk into your kitchen.

Leaning against the counter, with his hair pulled in a short tail and with his graying bangs falling into his eyes, is Fox. Fox with a shit eating grin on his face, and wearing a pair of sweatpants and nothing else.

“I did one better and ordered food. It’ll be here in thirty.” Fox folds his arms across his chest, “I did, however, bring your favorite spice mix from Mandalore.”

“Then I forgive you for breaking in.” You say loftily as you walk over to him and try to reach around him to get to the mugs.

“I half pay for this apartment.” Fox counters, amused, as he settles himself, inconveniently, in front of the cabinets you’re trying to get to. “Which means I can come and go as I please.”

“There are literally two dozen people who can make the same claim. On account of the fact that they pay me, just like you do.” You lean your weight back on your heels, “Can you move so I can get to my mugs?”

His grin becomes sly, “Reach around me.”

“You’re so annoying sometimes.” You reply as you step back into his personal space to try and reach around him.

He hums and settles his hands on your hips, “That’s funny, cyare. You didn’t say that the last time I was here.”

“The last time you were here, you weren’t being annoying.” You say in return, but you also don’t fight him when he pulls you closer so that you’re pressed flush against him.

“Yeah I was, but I distinctly remember you begging me for more.” Fox replies smugly.

“I ought to kick you out.”

“But you won’t because no one loves you like I do,” He even sounds smug.

“Stop being smug.”

“Mm…nah. I have you and I get to touch you and no one else does.” Fox says, his voice low.

You tilt your head back and look up at him, “Possessive.” You grouse at him, though there’s a fond smile on your lips.

“Damn right I am,” Fox leans in slightly and kisses you very, very gently, “So. I have a proposition for you.”

“Fox.”

“Move to Mandalore.” He continues as if you hadn’t spoken.

You sigh, “Fox-”

“Or even just work off my ship.” He adds, “You don’t need to live on this shit-stain of a world to be an information broker. You do everything through droids and messages anyway.”

“Fox,” You repeat his name a third time.

“And I would be able to keep you safe. Safer than staying in one place-”

“I’m not Mandalorian, Fox.”

“You could be.” He replies quickly, “Cyare, please.”

“You’ll get tired of me.” You add.

“Never.”

“I’ll be all up in your space all of the time.”

“I’ll make space for you.” Fox says.

“Fox-”

“I love you. I’ve been in love with you for ages, and I didn’t want to press you into coming with me, because you have a life here, but now I am.” Fox says, “And I know it’s not fair, but cyare, please. Come with me.”

You stare at him and then you sigh and reach up with one hand to lightly cup his cheek, “You’ve never pushed before.”

“Not because I didn’t want to. I never wanted to pressure you into picking me.” Fox replies as he turns his head and kisses the palm of your hand, “But I’m asking you now. Pick me. Please.”

You stare up at him for a moment, and then you smile, “Alright.”

“...really?”

“Really.” You confirm, “After all, I love you too.”

He doesn’t move for a moment, and then he crashes his lips against yours and you stumble backwards in surprise. Luckily his grip around you is tight enough that you’re not actually in danger of falling over.

His hand settles on the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, while his other hand burns a path down your side and over your hips, his grip almost bruising.

The only reason he stops is because your doorbell chimes. And he groans.

“Food,” You remind him gently, and then you press a chaste kiss against his cheek, and slip out of his grip to answer the door. You had a lot that needed to be done to make his ship friendly for your career, but that is a problem for tomorrow.

Tonight you’re just going to spend time with Fox.

#star wars #tcw #commander fox x reader #fox x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction

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kiyzukiy · 2 hours ago

Text

Cat distribution system

Sypnosis: Life is hard as it is, so all we all wish for is some comfort in a furry friend. No one accounted for life playing funny tricks so what would happen if you find Caleb in a trash dumpster?

Tags: reader x Caleb, fluff, Cat!Caleb, crack?, funny (hopefully)

A/N: I got inspired by another fic I found on here with a similar flow. If anybody knows what I'm talking about please tag that person. I don't want to disregard any original ideas! >.<

As always, if I missed any tags please tell me.

Word count: 4.8k

I hope you enjoy <3

Divider by me

You groan as you stretch yourself out. Sitting too long is always such a hassle. Tired bones and you felt like your muscles have calcified. If you wouldn't have moved now someone could have mistaken you for a stone statue the way you were perched at your work desk and scrolled endlessly through files.

Doesn't matter now though. The clock finally releasing you from your workload. Tomorrow was also a day and the files wouldn't suddenly grow legs and run away. No need to do overtime today.

You rubbed your face. Trying to shake off your exhaustion and slowly blinking the dryness in your eyes away. One more stretch that let out a satisfying crack in your back and you stood up. Packing your things together and making sure that this time you also took your thermal mug with you. Waving your coworkers goodbye you made your way home. Head already in the clouds with your game. Planning your time out of doing your dailies and just admiring your favourite fictional man. A pity that they don’t build men like that in real life.

The chill evening air hitting your face made you shiver the first step you took outside. Cuddling up in your coat and wrapping your scarf up just a tad higher you began your track home.

Fuck it's cold, you think to yourself. When would spring arrive and you didn't have to be out in this freezing weather anymore? Don't get me wrong, winter is something beautiful and when the snow hits the landscape it was akin to a fairy tale setting. The sunsets even more stunning with the low light and making everything glisten. Colours spreading over the horizon in deep violet and heartwarming orange. Frozen over roads just a bit slippery which made your way to work a small adventure when you played the game “do I land on my bum today or not?”. But enough was enough.

You wanted the sun back in your days having had your fill with this gloomy grey cloudscape. Waking up when it was still dark out and going home when night greets you again was draining more of your energy than you liked to admit. What made matters worse wasn't even that it didn’t affect only you, but that the melancholic and cold atmosphere was spreading slowly over to the people around you. It was in the way minor inconveniences would grate the nerves of your colleagues or the small tick of the jaw of your boss. The forced smile in service people who normally would make it seem genuine. Point was: everyone was fed up and ready for the seasons to change. When was the last time you saw the sun actually? Was it last October? Two weeks ago? You don't remember anymore. Just- just a long time ago. Pretty sure. Maybe you were a bit dramatic but all you wanted was to feel the warmth again and getting your vitamin D in.

A rustle next to you snapped you out of your self-pitying lament. Confused you turned your head to the right. Nothing. Just a dark alley. A car passed you by on your left, shortly illuminating a sliver of said alley. A dumpster could be made out but nothing exciting. You shrugged your shoulders and took one step, but another rustle stopped you once more. A sigh left you. Would you really go investigate? You swore this is how the stupid character out of a horror movie always died. This exact way but the curiosity in your mind and veins tried their very best to lure you into that alley to go look. One peak wouldn't hurt right? A man who wanted to drag you into it would have done it by now. There wouldn't be a more perfect chance than right now. The way you stood there like a fine lady in bewilderment.

This is what you get when you forget the one time your headphones at home. If it would be any other day, you would have continued on. Having passed this particular alley countless times and in daylight it wouldn’t be as scary as it was in this instance. Hopping from one foot to the other, you were uncertain. Would you really? You also could just…leave. Never finding out and always wondering. Spending sleepless nights wondering what could have been in this very alley that made these rustling noises. Or you would forget about it as soon as tomorrow morning came. Maybe it was just the wind that blew over a leaf or bag. On the other hand this could be a cool story you could tell your friends about. Or you could get mugged.

Alright fuck it. You go. Otherwise you would stand out here in the cold for the next ten minutes pondering about if this decision will have negative consequences on your life.

Tentatively you took one step into the alley. Instantly your common sense kicked in and pressed adrenaline into your veins. My god, this is the way you would die. Mentally have written your testament and who you would leave behind what you took another step.

“Hello?”, you asked hesitantly into the night. Frustrated with yourself you grunted. Naturally a serial killer would answer you out of the alley with “yes, behind this dark corner. I made sandwiches, you want one?”.

You had half a mind just turning back around again, but as if on cue another rustle. This time followed with a bang out of the dumpster. You let out a breath of relief. Oh by the gods, it was just a stray animal…or was it? Nevertheless the strong grip of fear that held your breathing back let a bit loose and you made your way to the dumpster with sure steps.

Your heart clenched in your chest at the thought that maybe an unlucky racoon got trapped in the dumpster and would meet an unsightly end in one of the waste disposal sites. Without a second thought you opened it and peered inside. Barely enough light from the street lights flooded one side of the dumpster and you saw- nothing. It was pitch black. Quickly you patted your pockets. First coat and then your pant pockets for your phone. One hand fished for it and rather clumsy you unlocked it to get to your flashlight. Now with your weapon of light you peered inside once more and this time you saw- trash. At first. A lot of it, nothing out of the ordinary for a dumpster in a lived in neighborhood. Out of the corner of your eye you saw movement and following it was your hand with your phone.

“Naaww you poor guy. How did you end up in here?”, you cooed after you spotted a brown cat that had a completely black right arm. Its fluffy fur was completely damped and it looked very dirty. Also something you could expect of a stray cat. Slowly and cautiously you held out your hand to it as to not scare the cat away.

“Come here. Let me help you”, you said in a low voice. The cat looked at you, then at your hand, rather unimpressed. In true cat manner it seemed like it wanted to say “I don't need your help puny little human”. You giggled.

“Come on. I don't bite and as soon as you are out of the dumpster I leave you alone. What do you say?”, you tried to reason with the cat as if it could understand you. To your astonishment it acted like it did. Suspicious of your hand the cat sniffed it first. Deeming you not an immediate threat it rose up from its position and stepped closer to your hand and yourself. Slowly you dragged your hand to a spot where you could easily grab the cat and lift it out.

“Alright buddy. I’m going to grab you now so don't make me regret it by scratching me”, you spoke more to yourself than the cat. You really didn't want to go to the next doctor and get a tetanus vaccine in. The cat still unimpressed with you followed your movement though. Securely you wrapped one hand around its ribcage and the other, after putting your phone away, beneath its hind paws and scooped it up and over the dumpster back on the ground.

“There ya go”, you smiled down at the cat. “Didn’t even hurt.”

The cat looked up at you and only then do you notice its blue eyes that really dipped into a deep violet. A splatter of yellowish green accompanied the irises. For such a beautiful cat to be a stray, you almost didn't believe it.

Also, the cat didn't move. You fully expected it to dash away as soon as its paws were back on the ground but it just stood in front of you. Almost like it was waiting for something.

“Go on now. Go home”, you crouched down and offered your hand again. “Or don't you have a home? Such a beautiful cat as yourself.”

The cat once more went to your hand. Starting to purr as it rubbed its head against your hand. Demanding pats.

“Yes”, you giggled. “Such a handsome cat. And friendly too. You must have a home, right?”

The cat meowed as if it tried to answer you. Your heart broke a bit. For sure this handsome fellow had a home. As you absentmindedly patted the cat all over you looked around. You felt no collar around the cat’s neck and wondered who it could belong to. Thinking about what to do next, the cat started to rub itself around you. Bumping into you and almost pushing you out of balance.

“Alright, alright”, you began patting it in earnest again.

“So, how about I take you home with me for now and then just put up missing posters, hm? Is that a plan?”, you asked the cat. Meowing back at you, you took it as a yes to your plan. Inwardly you celebrated. The cat distribution system finally chose you! Maybe not for long but you now were in the possession of a new cuddly friend. You might not have anything at home but that could be easily fixed. This beautiful fellow also might not stick around for long but for however long you swore you would take the best care of him. Her? It? Right, you never ascertained which gender the cat had. Eh, whatever. As long as you didn't get attached to it and without much pain could give it away again, all was good. Right. Right?

Future you will hate you for this decision.

The cat stretched, walking around you once more and then pawing at your knees as if to beg to get picked up again. Opening your coat and scooping it up from the ground, you fulfilled the cat’s wishes.

“My god. You are really friendly”, you mused to yourself and scratched the cat's head to which in return it purred even louder.

Together you made your way out of the alley. The dumpster forgotten and your way home just a bit warmer.

“Don’t run away, okay?”, you said softly to the cat before untangling it from your torso. On your track home it made itself very comfortable on you while you carried it. Its head often flitting from one place to another. You blamed the new height of perspective for the cat's behaviour. Couldn’t blame it, really. Imagine yourself getting hoisted up five times your own height and then carried around places that you never seen before. Now that would be an adventure. For the most part the breathing was calm so you didn’t worry that much. More surprised at the fact how the cat didn’t struggle once to get free. Just enjoying the free ride.

Cat on the ground in front of the door of your apartment you dove one hand into your bag, trying to find your keys that you carelessly flung inside. With half an eye on the cat all the time. Not that it would decide in the last moment to make a run for it. Granted that it wouldn’t come far or could cats push open an apartment complex door? Probably not or the coincidence would just be big enough that one of your neighbors decided to go out in that exact moment as well.

You shook your head off these thoughts. Cat was still on the ground and eyeing your door expectantly. Seemingly cat wasn’t even thinking about going anywhere but inside your apartment and here you were already thinking about all the different possible scenarios that would ensue when it ran away. Silly you.

Key victoriously between your fingers you finally unlocked your home and cat dashed inside like the devil was after it. Puzzled you stood at your door for a bit.

“Alright? Well…make yourself at home, I guess”, slowly trudging you went after it into your own four walls. Serotonin tingling your brain with the happiness that cat was very excited to explore its new home.

Exhaustion slowly made itself apparent. Clawing at you and dragging your already tired body. Exhaustion and hunger but motivation wasn’t nowhere near you to make yourself food instantly. Cat on the other hand was curiously looking around. Taking in its new environment. Sniffing, patting around and jumping on shelves to get a better view.

“Don’t throw it down, I swear to god”, you warned as you spotted cat near a vase with flowers inside. Body despite the sluggish feeling ready to jump to save the vase from its crashing end. Expertly the cat avoided the glass and danced around anything that was not stable. You let out a breath of relief. Automatically your body carried to your couch in the living room on which you rather unceremoniously slumped down on. Ah, finally home.

_____

How the fuck did he get here? One moment he was in the deepspace tunnel, conducting a new mission and the next he had four paws. Trash surrounded him, it was fucking dark too. He could make out the sound of cars passing by and people walking on the street. Where was he? To his own surprise he wasn’t that cold until he realised that he had fur as well and when he tried to speak only a meow came out. In no way in hell did he turn into a cat, did he? No. What?

In his moment of utter disorientation, a lid opened and a beautiful face peered down to him. Down? Ah, right. The cat thing.

Caleb watched you fumble for your phone only to be blinded the very next moment by the harsh light of a phone flashlight. It took several blinks to get his bearing again. You reached out your hand to him. Now this was getting ridiculous. “Poor guy”? “How did he end up here”? Sweetheart, that's what he should be asking. Who the fuck are you anyway and why did you open up this-? Where was he? Is this a trash dumpster? Oh his fucking gods. If he could sigh in annoyance, he would.

Caleb eyed your hand suspiciously. The smart move would be to take it. Considering everything, he couldn’t get out of this dumpster alone and what could be worse is that, tomorrow the dumpster could be emptied. Nor did he trust humanity enough that another friendly soul would come and pick him up or at least get him out. You were his only shot right now, even if he didn’t want to admit it. So? He sniffed you. Creepy in his own mind but he was a cat now. The least he could do was to make it look convincing.

You pulled your hand closer to yourself as if to lure him out of his corner. As if he wouldn’t just go to you willingly. How long would he need to put up with this act? Irritation flared up within him. This is so beneath him.

Scratch you? Yeah, why not actually? Instead he let him get picked up gently. Now was not the time to bite the hand that was feeding him.

The moment was faster over than he could comprehend. Swoop- and he was back on the ground. Caleb looked around. Alright, an alley and- you. In your full glory. Black pants, hair tied up, thick scarf around your neck, an open hanging coat and warm looking boots. Beautiful, pretty and cozy looking. Not a threat. A quick scan and he was certain you carried no gun. Not his worst choice, he thought.

Let's make a run for it. What do cats normally do to get pity? Humans usually die to pet them. Swallowing his pride he went to you. Did he like to get touched? Sensitive question. If it would be his childhood friend, he wouldn’t mind but a complete stranger? In this form no less? God, that needed willpower and he was already running low because of this situation. Please let this all be a dream and he would wake up in a few moments in Skyhaven.

“A home?”, yeah in the arms of someone else but that was not here. Just where in heaven sake was he? Get this over with, woman and just take him with you.

Please, he meowed. Inwardly he sighed. Good lord…

Mercy was shown and you actually picked him up. Giddy and a happy smile on your face you wrapped him up in your coat. It was warm and against his own doing he began to purr at the sensation. Okay so maybe this wasn’t as bad as he imagined. Distracted a bit and sleep pulling at him, he let himself enjoy this small reprieve for a bit.

Lights flitted by behind his eyelids and he looked around. First fact? This is not Linkon nor Skyhaven. Second, he didn’t recognise anything. If this was in fact a dream, his subconsciousness was running wild today. The only thing grounding him was you. Your warmth, your soothing touch and your somewhat familiar scent that he confused with that of MC. It wasn’t as overwhelming or confusing when he could nuzzle up to you for now. Just shortly, only for a bit. To get his mind back on track, you know?

The walk you both took, well- you took with him being carried, was not long lived. You said something but he didn’t pay any attention. Something something not running away something something. Where would he go anyway? For christ sake he was a cat right now. First thing he needs to get rid off anyway. Second thing was to get back home. Like home. Once more begging to the skies above that this was a dream. A very vivid one. Caleb couldn't decide if this was a nightmare or not. Was he maybe more exhausted than he wanted to admit? Did he have an accident on his expedition and was now in a coma? Please let it be just that. Maybe also just cognitive training done by Ever. What does he know?

He heard keys jiggling, a soft clicking of a lock falling back and then a door opening. The ash-brown haired man…uh cat made a run for it. Into the apartment! He stopped in his tracks to get everything in. Analysing your furniture and layout. There was one floor length window that opened up to a small, cozy balcony. A couch in an open space that he guessed was your living room. With a TV mounted to the opposite side of the couch. A lengthy cupboard underneath. On it a few nick-nacks: a charger cable connected to a tablet, a switch console and a bunch of books. The couch itself was decorated with plushies and cushions rounded up with a throw blanket. Some of the walls accented by warm pastel colours to widen the otherwise small space. He peered down one corridor and made out two doors. Guessing one of them was a bathroom and the other your own.

Caleb inspected your walls. The one on the far end and left of the couch was more bookshelf than wall. Filled up almost to the brim but he spotted also there nick-nacks in between. He jumped on the couch arm and continued on another shelf. Slowly getting closer to your kitchen area. Once more he heard you say something. Bla bla not throwing down something. He had half a mind to fuck with you, but again not the opportunity to bite the hand that feeds him. Curious what you meant in the first place he looked back and felt the vase against his body. God it was so weird to see his fluffy legs and a tail too. Dirt clung to the fur and he wondered what he did before he regained his consciousness in that dumpster. But better not test what it would take to make you throw him out back on the street. For all he could know, you could be the one with answers. If not, he could still leave.

Rustling and then a dull thumb. Caleb once more looked back. You all but collapsed on your couch and let out a sigh. Tiredness was written all over your face. Your body practically radiated exhaustion. The ash-brown cat didn’t notice before but how could he? Way too immersed in his own problems. Nonetheless were you kind enough to pick him up. Brave enough to go into that spooky alley. Hell, he wouldn’t have. Not without a gun at least. You also were nice enough to carry him here. Not once complaining. If he dares to say, happy to have him with you. Just as warm as he was. Disregarding that he smelled like the trash he lay in.

Suddenly you moved, like you just remembered something important. As if possessed you scrambled up and reached for your tablet. Okay?

Back to discovering your place he left you to your own devices.

Noises sprung from your tablet. An interesting melody and a woman singing. Just what were you doing? Playing a game? Well, he was done looking at your kitchen that was, well what could be interesting about a kitchen? It was a kitchen. Jumping from the counter to your table and back on the ground he tapped over to you. One last jump on the couch right next to you. What he saw next made his breath hitch.

There she was. His childhood friend. On the screen…with another guy? Did you just took pictures of her with another man? Who was he? Some dude with white hair and a pose slung around his childhood friend. They looked happy together. Frozen in time for the picture. What is going on? Did you know her? How could you do this? How- what? How did you take pictures of her? Switching her poses like that? But why did it look so much like a game? Like a 3D rendering of her? What was going on?

But as soon as he needed to process what he saw, your fingers deftly moved over the screen and collected some rewards in an…event? What? Huh?

“Is it a new bug? Why can’t I select Caleb?”, you mumbled to yourself. Completely oblivious to the distress ball that he was right now. To your own confusion you couldn’t do anything with Caleb in your game besides recalling the memories you have obtained of him.

The head of just mentioned man reared. What was happening? Did you know him? What was this game? Who are you? What is happening?!

Enough, he jumped on your tablet.

“What the- ey!”, you exclaimed and he just meowed back. That's what he wanted to yell right now. What was going on?! Answer him!

“You can’t just- get off!”, you giggled. Not taking his jumbling, confusing emotions and obvious distress seriously.

Okay, different approach. He quickly needed a different approach. Before he could come up with anything you picked him up once more and placed him beside you. Damn him right now for being nothing but an eight pound raging ball of fur. Take him seriously, god damn it! Caleb began to meow again and cursed inside his thoughts. One paw on your tablet, but you giggled again.

“What is it? You also want to play?”, you smiled at him, picked him up. Again. Woman, do it one more time and he is going to forget his rational part about him and would really bite you. He needed answers and not pats. Oh- okay. You placed him on your lap. The tablet on your knees so he could have a good view of it.

“Should I explain it to you?”, you continued on and began showing him everything the game had to offer. Beginning with talking with four different men, battling wanderers in bounty hunting or abyssal chaos up to the “main story”, as you called it, until the memories you collected of said four men. Him included as the fifth. What? Without thinking he raised his paw on “falling for you” and selecting himself. Not half a fuck given that he gave himself away, that he was, in fact, not a cat. That's the whole point though, wasn't it? He was a man! Not a damn cat! He was stuck here. God knows where and you! You just playing with her life, with his! With his life like it was a game?!

These were…all his, well some of them anyway, memories he had with MC. The childhood friend he tried to protect at all costs. Given that his methods weren’t always as pure as he wanted them to be but more often than not necessary. All splayed out for your eyes to see and…rekindle them? Watch them over and over? Relive them?

“Do you like him?”, you asked in a soft voice and he turned to look at you. Totally not caring that he, a cat, was patting on your tablet with human like intelligence. Were you that tired? Half asleep already?

Like him? He was him! How could he tell you that? So that you would explain further. Maybe he could figure out this way how he got here. Wrecking his brain he tried to come up with anything. Fuck it. Fucking dip this cat shit. Even more so than he already has. How blaringly obvious did he need to be? For your rather slow mind to comprehend what he means.

Trying to figure out how to show you, tell you or rather scream at you that this 3D rendering of him was he, he put a paw on his image and then on his furry body. As well as he could at least. Which in result was him patting his image then getting up, sitting on his hind legs and putting his paw on his torso area. Caleb begged to the skies above that you understood his message but to his dismay you looked at him puzzled. Oh his fucking gods…

Alright. Different approach. This was taking all of his patience and he barely had none.

Once more he put one paw on his image that beneath showed a short video out of the perspective of what he only could guess was MC. He didn’t want to think too long about it. Focus. Again he raised his other paw and put it on his chest. This time though he meowed and looked at you imploringly. Please, please let this be enough so you put two and two together. But even he realised that this was rather far-fetched and if this same thing would happen to him, neither would he understand what a cat would try to tell him.

“What is it? Why-”, and then you looked at the screen that froze over the memory. “Hm?”

Oh my god, did you understand? Please!

You looked past his small frame and he could see the thoughts behind your eyes. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, he was Caleb! Come on. Give him answers!

“Nah”, you giggled. Not knowing what you might have said he just nodded with his head.

“His name is Caleb, should I call you that as well?”, you thought out loud and stroked down from his head to his back.

No! Yes, his name was Caleb but no! God fucking damn it. Just how was he supposed to tell you that Caleb was well- him. He was Caleb. The same man, now a cat in this universe, that you saw on that screen. Distraught, he wrecked his brain. Unfortunate for him there was no book or briefing or training he could have done to prepare him for playing charades as a cat. “How weird would it be if I named you after a otome game video character?”, you sighed. “God, I must be very lonely to even be considering that.” Maybe, but not the point here, woman. You could question your terrible life choices another time but right now, he needed you to figure out his image riddle!

~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*~~~*~~~*.~~~*

Henlo, to everybody that made it all the way down here! I plan on making this a multi part story, so stay tunned! If anybody has some cat involved stuff and want to see it here, don't be too shy to tell me about it <3

Thank you for reading, beautiful soul

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #caleb x reader #reader x caleb #caleb love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff

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boxheadpaint · 9 months ago

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hungry but not much to eat and tgen mildly depressing news, ok. obviously this is worsened by being hungry and not medicated yet. decide instead to go back to bed and lie to still to use up energy and sleep through hunger. Somehow this does not work and just end up more tired and more hungry. And still havent taken meds. my thrilling life. dove noises outside tho. wait i havent done a diary post in a bit hang on lemme rev up here.

ok back. Collapsed while cooking because im intwlligent, but did enjoy a good meal with my partner. watched some Star Trek while my body refused to regain energy so as to take a shower, and had to take a shower anyway. Have been much less depressed lately, though have been dealing with constant daytime fatigue for some reason. Im mr fall asleep. going to get groceries later today thank goodness

current goal in pokerogue because of course. Like obviously yes shiny farming but also at this point im trying to make the most disgusting dog possible. Behold

Completely and utterly nasty thing.

im not sure how to get back into digital art sooner rather than later, my computer has become immensely annoying to use. Beyond having to prop it by hand because of lack of back panel, it also heats up a bunch very quickly and the cursor is Still an irritating molecule off center to me- likely because of the angle I have to look at when it’s laying flat from no adequate support.

I don’t want to ditch digital completely because of some minor inconveniences but my patience with the machine has been wearing thin for a long while now. at least it’s not giving me notifications to update to windows 11. Like fuck off and such.

Lately I find myself more and more mad about advertisements and marketing. Beyond the disruptive nature of these things and the wastefulness theyre also straight up stupid and just make things look worse by existing. It doesn’t matter how many different ads for reeses you show me with the bojack guy over them, and in fact the more I see them the more likely I am to just say the governments putting poison shit in it so people will stop buying them. Also fuck everything that charges more money for a gluten free version of a product

come June im going on a ride up north and visiting my sister briefly, which I look forward to. There was some miscommmunication about days so I thot I was going to be able to hang out with her for a full day on her weekend, but it turned out that was unavailable and it made me upset. still, even if it’s just for a few hours after her shift ill be happy to spend any time with her. I miss being just a room away from her at a given moment sometimes and wish I could have appreciated that time more, though I know a part of why I didn’t was the house itself and its effect on me. Swagless really

anyway somehow I managed to be up until 3 am once again. Im marking the date down as today even if I started this post yesterday. Hoping to relax and get good news soon, or at least neutral news. News of a sort

5/18/2024, the dog is also several levels higher now than pictured. Like by a lot

#diary

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alyjojo · 4 months ago

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October 🌹 2024 Monthly - Sagittarius

Preshuffle: You could be taking an impromptu vacation or break from work, just because people are driving you crazy or there’s a particular thing you’re getting increasingly impatient and unbalanced over. I’m hearing “let them deal with it.”

Meditation: A car driving away. You need a break, it’s just the same message repeating.

Main energy: 4 Cups

What’s going on in October:

Death, Knight of Swords, The World, 5 Pentacles & 2 Pentacles

Your energy is loud for being 4 Cups, in typical Sag fashion, I’m hearing someone yell “I’m BORED 🥱!” and I’m also hearing “quit talking about it & just fucking do it,” with extra sass, and this Page of Swords shows *verbal* irritation, the mood could be described as pissy, unsatisfied, unhappy and irritated. With every card I lay down it’s just more phrases I’m hearing and less of a reading. Sag commentary. “Fuck this.”

You’re tired of maneuvering around other people, especially work. If you’ve been planning to take off, that could’ve been moved or you’ve been waiting around on something to be finished so it’s a good time…don’t want to inconvenience anyone with your absence. What that’s turned into though feels like you’ve already put it off twice and incompetent ass people can’t manage to do basic tasks without you, you’re sick of it. Ready to abandon this, ready to PLAY, “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Here’s Johnny! You’re losing it fr, time for a much-needed break, it’s repeated throughout the whole reading that you’re right and you need one. A shit cycle you’ve endured, at the bottom the deck.

You’re done feeling like you have no control of your life, done feeling stuck and done being silent about it. Other people are going to get with your program whether they like it or not, and with The High Priestess I see you being very quiet about this, maybe hanging others out to dry a bit. Big project due on Tuesday, oh boy you took the whole week off, and turned your phone off too - don’t call me. You don’t care what happens, what goes wrong, don’t ask me questions, I don’t exist. By the end of the month you’re considering what to do to celebrate, maybe calling up some friends. A lot of them will be busy, and that could also frustrate you. You make time but most everyone else is busy with their own - same shit as you, same boat, and they can’t. Compromise shows a need to work with others and their own schedules & plans too. If romantic, this could be someone that always has an excuse why they can’t do something and you’re fed up over it, enough is enough. If there’s something you’ve been going back and forth about ending, discussing ending, you’re getting tired of the discussing. Less talk 💯 Or it could be someone feels that way about you.

Side note: If this is a relationship where someone talks about ending it a lot, the other person may decide to nail the coffin shut, call their bluff, ok & actually end it. Sick of this shit. Whew 😅 You’re missing the FUN out of life all around. But…a lot of these are minor arcana, free will is the moat important thing…go have fun then, love. Play is important, your sense of humor & optimistic nature keeps you sane, make it a priority 🧡

As I was ending the reading I’m seeing some guy throw up a gang sign or something and saying “straight up, NOT having a good time” and I had to laugh. At least it’s honest.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Cancer, Capricorn, Gemini, Taurus & Scorpio

Oracle: ✨

Nightmare 😰

Suffering - Darkness - Persecution

Compromise 🤝

Agreement - Reconciliation - Consideration

48 Play

Our work can and should take on the quality of play, for it is okay that stimulates creativity.

We enter into October as:

Sage 🧙🏼‍♂️

“Wisdom...is knowing the difference between risk, and stupidity.”

It is time to listen to what others are telling you. Is there some wise counsel that you have sought, only to ignore it? Are you trying to do things all by yourself? A solution to your problems may come from those more experienced than yourself. Trust that whomever you think to ask will be the right person. Sage can also indicate a time of surrendering what you have no control over. Wisdom only comes from experience, and we all have challenges because we need the lessons they provide. Remember to stay in today, no jumping ahead. This is an opportunity to start over and clean out the old, it’s the perfect time to do it. Rejoice! You are walking a path of Great Spirits 🍃

What is to be learned in October:

Saint Apricot 😇

“I’m sorry that I have to take care of myself.”

Saint Apricot comes to you when you have been (or are about to be) freed from a situation that has you chained. This is a lesson in taking care of yourself. It’s a reminder to not give away more than you can, or it will drain you. We are not giving from a place of love if we are giving only to get. People may not like it when we focus on taking care of ourselves, but it is necessary in order to have a truthful relationship with them. If you speak the truth from your heart, then any guilt you feel is from the fear of being disliked. Feelings of shame come up when we feel we are “bad”, guilt comes up when we feel something we’ve done is “bad”. If another person no longer chooses to be in our lives, due to what’s been said or done in total honesty, it’s not our fault, it is their choice. This signifies a turn in your destiny. You are moving in a new direction towards freedom, and this opens the gateway towards more rewarding relationships in life.

Orange may be a lucky color 🧡

#Sagittarius #monthly tarot reading #October 2024 #astrology #tarot #tarot reading #spirituality #horoscope

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aaternum · 2 years ago

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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

name. cherub

pronouns. she/her

preference of communication. discord

name of muse(s). ryu

rp experience / how long. a very, very long time. i've been on tumblr since 2012.

best experience. over the years i've had a lot of great experiences with other writers, i can't boil it down to just one. it's just a really fun time when i can chill and casually discuss with other writers.

fluff, angst, or smut.

fluff: fluff is so fun to write! i enjoy soft and sweet interactions between characters, but i will confess that outside of drabbles, writing threads that are solely just .. fluff drains me (and maybe this is just an area of writing i need to work on better), but eventually i don’t know how else to progress the thread �� especially if it's with characters that are meeting one another for the first time and i have no plot to refer back to. now .. fluff with some sort of deeper conversation, just two characters getting to know one another on an intimate level to build on their current relationship? i absolutely adore writing that!

angst: i relish in story-driven angst, so not necessarily angst for the sake of putting characters through pain, but for the development that comes with it and the eventual after. there’s something really enjoyable about writing a difficult, stressful situation between two characters and seeing how that shapes the overall dynamic between them. but i do .. prefer it to lead to something positive. writing never ending pain with a character that will always try to overcome that or find a way to deal with it just becomes so unvaried its tiring. BUT, writing angst with this notion of .. how will this character push past this and what will this do/better/worsen in their relationship? that's always fun for me!

smut: so i actually enjoy writing smut, i find it to be a neat challenge trying to balance introspection with the actual action and of course avoiding being repetitive/overly flowery. i don’t have a whole lot written on the blog to represent that, but the creative process is always fun when the opportunity arises. (i also am way too shy to directly ask someone if they’d like to write a romantic ship/assume no one would want to so .. that leaves minimal chance for it to happen in the first place lmfao!) personally, i have held back from writing it in the ways i’d prefer to out of fear of being too explicit. mainly because i feel like everyone has a threshold for how they’d prefer to digest reading about sex if that makes any sense. some people prefer poetic introspection that may not directly describe the act, whereas others enjoy it being crude. and i like to write a blend of both? so yeah.

plots or memes. i will 100% of the time prefer plots over memes if we don't have some sort of base to work off of. i know a lot of people don't enjoy plotting/have a difficult time with it and that's so valid. as long as i can ask you if it's ok to place our characters in xyz setting before i write a response then i'll be fine. but i just find the longevity of a thread and interactions to increase when i can refer back to a plot.

long or short replies. either or. once upon a time all i wrote were long replies, but nowadays i just want to have fun and write what i can.

best time to write. whenever i can tbh. (always at the most inconvenient time) i used to say i can only write at night, but since i finished school i have had better success inspiring myself to write during the day. which is strange,

are you like your muse. i think it's natural to share some aspects with your muse. i'm not like her socially or physically at all, i do wish i related to the ability to say what you feel. being lighthearted and patient. growing up i loved the comic relief character that had a lot of darker things they harbored within them. i enjoyed the confident shoujo characters that owned themselves and loved it. and i unintentionally embodied a lot of that in her including things i wish i saw in myself.

not tagging or tagged by anyone. just take it if you wanna do it too.

#━━ ⅻ ⊰ out of character. / ♡ ❜

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 2 years ago

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Hello JALEBI, how r u doing?

Want to discuss something about Barun Sobti🌝We used to see him as a very fun loving guy, his face was so innocent that it seems he didn't understand the world yet at then. Bt now whenever I see any of his pictures, videos(which is rare) he looks tired,lifeless, I can't feel any joy in him. For me(may be I am over analyzing or something) it seems, he losts the willings for living on its full. He seems as a very numb guy now. I know there is many difficulties in this world which can change people totally bt this is really very sad to see him like this🙂

I want to share one more thing(which is actually pointless) that whenever I become tooooooo much lost into Arnav, Khushi's chemistry🥺, I unwilling start to blame Barun's wife🌚. My over thinking stupid mind likes to think that, Barun's wife was jealous of Sanaya and start to pressurize Barun to quit the show. Cz it's really very foolish reason which Barun used to give. He is an actor by profession so he can't quit or blame his job in order to spend more time at home. U know, bcz he have to go to the shooting today or tomorrow. So why he would want to quit a show which was so successful,otherwise to pacify her wife🙄. Or if it was a true excuse😒, then why he continues to be an actor bcz now he has a child also!!🔥Then my mind says that,does Barun's wife is the reason for his silent mood?!🙂

Person me, if my msg shows that I'm a terrible person🙃. It's midnight, and I can barely think rightly at this hour,just wanted to share these thoughs and clr my mind so sending u this msg. U surely can ignore this msg, if it's inconvenient.😞

Again sorry to bother you

From,

Smiley Anon😁

I don’t know where to begin. First of all I have a set strict rule that -

I do not discuss actors’ personal lives here

Second, you have to draw the line at parasocial relationship. “A parasocial relationship is a long-term attachment to a media figure (a blogger, an idol, or even a politician) based on what a person “knows” or understands about that figure over time. We develop parasocial relationships based on repeated interactions with these figures on social media or on television that make them seem relatable and accessible rather than far away from us “regular” people.”

This can be good or bad. The good is that the people who likes Barun’s/Sanaya’s works bond over loving those actors capabilities.

The bad is when someone assumes their life and marriage without even knowing them in real life.

Can you make a comment about Barun not keeping the best of appearances compared to his contemporary actors (for example Arjun Bijlani)? Sure, but-

(1) Barun is a normal human being who might be going through a plethora of things (the human body and mind are extremely unique)

(2) it’s none of our damned business to figure out why he doesn’t look the way he did ten years ago with makeup and good lighting.

Maybe he has aged? Maybe he hates posing for cameras so he always looks a bit uncomfortable? Maybe he just didn’t get sleep last night? Who knows and who cares?

Also I’m baffled at you heaping blame on his wife when he has been very vocal about just how much he loves her and that she’s been the most important person in his life. Like this isn’t even an assumption. In the little he has spoken it is evident how much his marriage means to him.

Yet to override what your favorite actor says to believe a twisted version of events is… sigh c’mon don’t do that. It’s the biggest way you can disrespect the actor tbh.

Also btw Barun was working 16-18 hours a day, daily, for two-three years by the end of ipk. It’s insane. Tv actors often fall ill due to these extreme working conditions!

What he did then is what we now call a mental health break (which is when people step back from their jobs/duties for the sake of themselves and their mental health). And Barun is neither the first nor the last one to do it. There’s Prince Harry, tennis superstar Naomi Osaka, Olympic human simone biles, global KPop sensation BTS, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, etc.

Also Deepika Padukone was diagnosed with depression at the height of her career.

These people have taken a pause from working because they were burned out.

Just like Barun was.

You can be curious as to how do stars get burned out, it’s their job right? Yeah but no job is fun when you don’t get a break.

Imagine being hours under hot lights, being sleep deprived and barely being home to sleep, memorizing pages after pages of lines on the day of shoot and then when you’re unable to deal with pressure you see fans commenting “oh his wife is the problem,”

I hope you have the sense to see the stupidity in this. Also burning out is an individual experience. Just because we can’t understand why a successful actor would leave a show, it doesn’t invalidate his reason!

He wanted to leave, he left. Period.

He loves acting, but not to the point where he doesn’t even see his family and is forced to play one damn character to its death.

Dude I’d give up writing fanfics if I was forced to write sixteen hours a day without a break for a year.

He got his break and he’s carefully choosing projects with proper time commitments (music videos, movies, web series).

TBH I don’t even know where this whole “blames the wife” comes from. If you love the actor, watch his interviews! He literally blames the crippled working system of TV.

Like it’s no surprise we’ve never gotten Barun and Sanaya to work together again simply considering this toxic discourse where his lovely wife is dragged in every now and then, although I don’t think it bothers them as they’ve plainly stated that multiple times.

Also he was 25/26 when he shot IPK. Trust me at that point everyone knows what the world is and they’re far from innocent. He was a fully grown man. Married with a few solid years of work experience. He knew the world well enough to prioritize his mental health and family over any money producers would throw at him.

There’s a very thin line on how to talk about the decisions you think actors are taking based on parasocial relationships with the said actors and I literally only replied to you because:

- you dismissed mental health

- you’ve been on my blog before and you’ve been very sweet

Anyways, I will not be engaging anymore in this kind of discussion.

I sincerely hope you won’t fall for these delusions any more. And if you truly love an actor, respect them. And respect includes respecting their choices and believing what they’re saying within a healthy line.

Too much of anything isn’t good. Not even IPK.

Hoping the best for you,

- jalebi

#ask #smiley Anon #Barun Sobti #personal life #seriously?

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vitrines · 2 years ago

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small au!guqqie drabble for twb mcc

wrote this for bingo, decided it's not quite up to my ao3 standards but still wanted to share it!

about 800 words, warnings for depersonalization

It’s not like people with no origin were out of the ordinary.

It was a community of stragglers, after all. A mix-up of people from the road, whoever managed to stumble across these lands. Some had tails, fur, glowing eyes or any manner of strange features. Some particularly annoying members had horns, dark and carved against their foreheads, and smiles like a fox’s eyes from ground level in the forest, far from home and late at night.

And it was probably normal that for the life of them, Guqqie could not tell you how they got here.

Life is long, okay? It’s been a long while since they settled here, and longer still since they found the place. In fact, before an eye-opening conversation a week ago with previously mentioned irritating demon, Guqqie simply assumed that none of their friends here remembered their past.

Aimsey had blinked at them, twice, then three more times, and asked if they wanted to see a doctor, with a previously unheard level of concern in his voice. But Guqqie didn’t think any doctor could help them. (This conclusion was partially aided by the fact that they didn’t have any doctors, nor any people Guqqie was exactly eager to let near their face with sharp objects.)

“I don’t need to know,” Guqqie had protested, standing their ground in front of the enchantment table (which Aimsey was trying to steal again, the bastard.) Aimsey had let out something that was either a squawk or a laugh.

“You bloody well do,” he’d said. “Your past is extremely important. Imagine if I didn’t know where I came from?” He’d shuddered. But Guqqie had felt backed into a corner, and tired, and trapped by Aimsey’s insistent gaze.

“You and me are different people,” they had snapped, grabbing at the enchantment table and running away before they had to see Aimsey’s face fall.

That’s the issue with Aimsey. He does things, and Guqqie stops him, and he gets this kicked puppy look that gives Guqqie the silly, stupid urge to just let him do the damn thing. That would not hold. And he is doing it on purpose.

God, they can’t stand him.

But the demon had a point. Because Guqqie was sleepwalking, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, always a mystery. And they couldn’t figure out why. This had been fine, at first, if a bit inconvenient and counterproductive to their landscaping. Really. Whichever entity was disrupting their sleep should learn how to match colors. And then several months had passed, and Guqqie’s life had flipped over in several directions, leaving them wobbly on their feet and more than a little enamored by that same demon. It also left blood on their hands, and a sickly sweet taste in their mouth.

Wallowing in despair was no good. (They’d tried that, for a few days, before giving up.) Guqqie had to know why. And so, with a hollow, jagged heart, they followed the hated trails of flowers, and they found a lab, hidden deep underground, and they found papers and test tubes and tanks of water that served no apparent purpose. The most important part was the paper sealed away in a document stuffed behind the filing cabinet. Their name, with a piece of code tied directly to them, and at the second line in big red letters the word CLONE.

This whole time, Guqqie had been trying to find themself. There was no self to find. They were not even their own whole person. Just an old cicada shell, hoping and wanting and fucking up a life that was not theirs.

And now they’d lost the only person who loved them for them. And the trust of those who cared for them. All because the body’s real owner was playing some twisted game.

The floor of the lab is cold, and dirty, and not in Guqqie’s top ten list of places to sob uncontrollably, but it’s not as if they have other options. Their hands catch on the floor, cracking and breaking where the tiles are jagged and quickly laid. Were there others out there like them? Were those others successful and happy?

Was it only them who was unworthy?

Should have known. Too good to be true. And you are not good enough for this life, for this body, for these people.

You are just a copy. And that is all you will ever be.

One day, they had dreamed of climbing the tallest tree, the highest tower, clambering over logs and ladder rungs, striving and striving for perfection. Seeing the universe and the world below laid out before them. Reaching out to touch the stars. It would have felt like a reunion.

Now you know: you are tethered to the ground. So it goes.

#area unknown #ausmp #area unknown smp #guqqie #au!guqqie #creations #me when the silly *collapses with sobs*#oh you want to live? you want to be happy? love *you* don't want anything :)#twb mcc event

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clockwork-hearted · 4 months ago

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Erebus, my love,

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. My mind has been very uneasy and I’m starting to feel like everything is crashing down again.

That everything keeps piling up on my shoulders and it’s slowly crushing me. I’m not sure why I haven’t been able to shake things off as easily as I used to, but it makes me feel weak. I get angry at myself for feeling this way, and then I get sad that I can’t bring myself to talk about it, and then I get angry again for shutting down and, ultimately, it creates a vicious mental cycle for me.

Sleep hasn’t brought me much solace either. I actually haven’t been sleeping very well again. And yes, I know, that’s where majority of my mental spirals come from and why I haven’t been coping properly, but it’s been hard to reach that “proper” amount of sleep.

God, I could really use another depressive 16 hour sleep episode right about now, but even that makes me feel terrible for “wasting” my day away.

I love knowing that all of these words in “ ” aren’t concrete. And I love knowing the truth behind them, yet they still love to etch themselves in my mind and pop up at the most inconvenient times. They always do and I’m never the only one to experience this.

I also haven’t been feeling fond of myself again. I can’t decide on my style, or the earrings I want to wear, or the nail polish color, or even if I should even paint my nails. My appetite has been curving again, and I’m trying my best not to do it on purpose, but it’s just lackluster.

I just finished binging season 3 of Heartstopper by myself. I watched and episode with my best friend and my boyfriend, but then they had to leave. I wanted to honor the “let’s watch it together tradition,” but I couldn’t. I’ve been counting down the weeks and the days for this season. Seeing my sweet boys so happy again. Seeing their whole crew grow and thrive and experience all these things together and individually.

I need to binge it. It was the only light at the end of my current tunnel. And I did it. And as always, it was a marvelous time. Yet here I am, sitting on my couch at 1 in the morning, writing to you.

It’s always you though. That’ll never change. You’re the one that I don’t need to explain anything to. You just get it. Sometimes though, it’s hard to keep it together. Myself, my energy, my mental state- it’s all running through like a rollercoaster.

There’s so many lives and things I want to experience. So many things that I get bitter about for not having been able to in the past. So many experiences that were “stolen” from me that I’m trying to regain as an adult. Yet here I am, still breaking down, wanting so much but giving so little.

I’m tired. I’m running. And I don’t want to be anymore. I want the impossible dream of life freezing in place for a few days so I can catch back up. I don’t want these responsibilities rn. I want to be free.

Freedom… oh, my love, you know exactly where I go with that. And even though it’s a stupid dream and desire to hold on to, I will never let it go. It’s one part of me that never changes and keeps me grounded.

If only it was easier to escape like we used to. If only it was something that I could close my eyes and achieve even for a few breathtaking moments. If only I hadn’t built these prisons around me, that at the end of the day, I hold the only real key.

I’m pathetic honestly.

Well, no. But in this moment I am.

And here I am, wasting time, writing to you. I’m sorry for wasting your time.

But I thank you, and I will continue to do so until I draw my last breath. Thank you for always helping me reconstruct myself. Thank you for keeping me safe.

I love you. Te amo. Je t’aime.

Erebus, mon ange…

#personal #erebus #season3 #late night feels #mentally cracking #goodnight

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illogicalnordictales · 5 months ago

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So I’m watching Phineas And Ferb, right.

And in the episode I’m on, Doofenshmirtz is replicating himself so he doesn’t have to wait in line.

Well, he has some failed attempts at the start, and threw those in the trash.

Buuuuut, one managed to get out of the trash, and what Doofenshmirtz says to it is this:

“How did you get out of the trash, you drop-out bohemian?”

And I thought, “Wow. That’s a really good insult.”

So that’s what this post is about:

✨Really fun, but also random insults.✨

Let’s begin

“You learned Spinjitsu from a Jamba Juice.”

(I actually had someone say that to me before. I kinda just paused and went “Yo. That’s a good one”)

“I have neither the time nor the Crayons to explain this to you.”

“You’re the reason they have instructions on shampoo bottles.”

“You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you best hope they don’t die.”

“Wisdom chases you, but you’ve always been faster.”

“That’s a pretty bold statement coming from someone who still had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom.”

(This one can only really work for people in high school or lower)

“How are you not tired? You think so much, but never understand your own thoughts.”

“You’re not pretty/handsome enough to be this stupid.”

“You aren't the person Mr. Rogers thought you could be.”

“Why are you dressed like we’re going to Applebee’s?”

“Did you buy your looks off Temu, too? Or just your personality?”

“I’ve heard worse from better.”

“That sounds like you practiced it in a mirror for hours, and yet, you still failed.”

(These can be a really good counter insult if someone tries to take a jab at you)

“I hope you step on a Lego.”

“I hope both sides of your pillow are hot when you go to bed.”

“I hope your charging cable only works from an inconvenient angle that you can never figure out.”

“You’re proof that we need to bring back bullying.”

Or in that same vein, you could try:

“You’re proof that natural selection needs to up its game.”

“Your gene pool was a kiddy pool, and yet, somehow, you still drowned.”

“Your parents’ punnet squares were a warning.”

“You wouldn’t be able to understand the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ if it was written out for you.”

This one can also be used for “There/They’re/Their”, too. Brandon I’m looking at you.

Ok I can’t think of anymore. If y’all have some, lemme know, I’ll add them. But if not, hope y’all enjoy :)

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noperopesaredope · 2 years ago

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There was one moment in the episode that I really liked, and I couldn’t articulate why until I saw this post. There was a moment where Frank was having a difficult time opening the bottle of pills, and Bill noticed Frank was struggling a bit, so he just took a sec to help him out with that. It was such a short exchange, and I didn’t know why I just really liked it. But now I know what it was that made that little moment so nice for me.

Neither of them seemed frustrated or impatient.

In many shows, Frank would likely get very frustrated at not being able to open the pill bottle, and not just in your typical ‘I can’t open this stupid lid’ kinda way that both able-bodied and disabled folks alike experience when opening shit like water bottles and pickle jars. In many shows, he’d get mad at himself and say something like “I’m tired of this” or something, and might also even refuse help out of pride or something.

In many shows, Bill might act annoyed or something, maybe snatched it from Frank and opened the pill bottle in a huffy way. He also would likely have just done it without some kind of permission type thing, not asking if Frank needs help/giving him the chance to say “no, I’m fine.” In many shows, he would basically have just taken them and done it.

But instead of all that, Bill just notices Frank is struggling, (non-verbally) says “oh, let me help you out,” politely reaches out as a silent way of asking for it, and casually opens it before placing the pills in Frank’s open, waiting palm, whilst also verbally confirming which pills he’s handing him. You can clearly see a form of silent communication between the two as well. They just known what they other is asking and/or answering, which is cute on its own.

But it’s also nice that there’s no “drama” add to this moment. It’s shown as simple and obvious, but also not insistent. It’s practically shown as easy, and by that I don’t mean that opening the bottle is easy, I mean that Bill helping out Frank is easy. It’s easy and simple to help out a disabled loved-one when they need assistance with something “small”, and it’s just an obvious thing to do. Like, obviously Bill would help Frank out with things like these, because he loves Frank, and neither of them mind the fact that Frank needs assistance in certain areas.

In media and even in real life, characters and people act like doing little things like this are so time consuming and annoying and whatnot, but it literally doesn’t have to be. Sure, some things can be more difficult, like helping someone with things like the bathroom and such, but things like handing them something? Letting them lean a bit on you whilst walking up some stair? Helping them move seats? Pushing their chair somewhere if they ask (when something like this won’t actually negatively affect or significantly inconvenience you in any way and can majorly help them out)? Holding the door? Helping them cut some food? If you are an able-bodied person who can do this with ease, what the harm in helping out a bit?

I don’t know how to articulate it, but I just really like seeing this casual example of making a disabled loved-one’s life easier by just helping them out sometimes. There’s no impatience, it’s not presented as inconvenient, it just is was it is. It’s just another little way of showing love.

thinking about how frank didn’t just become disabled over night, he must’ve had a slow decline over those 10 years. bill had been taking care of him for a long time. tess and joel probably spent months tracking down all the right medications for his condition and smuggling them to him whenever he ran out. bill probably raided the local nursing home for his wheelchair when they realized frank wasn’t going to get better. and i bet he spent days fixing it to make it as comfortable for frank as possible. i bet bill took care of franks strawberry patch, so they could eat some after dinner when they are in season and make frank smile. frank lived a happy and comfortable life. he wasn’t miserable and wanted to end it all. he passed peacefully and old, after living a fulfilling life with his partner. he had people looking after him. they didn’t view his life as a useless or unworthy or a burden because he couldn’t contribute the way he used to. they loved him and cared for him and gave him everything he needed to survive. sometimes it feels too hard to even survive in this world as a disabled person, and he survived in the fucking apocalypse. he just needed a little help. look out for your disabled friends. please.

#not only did they tell a perfect queer love story #but they also had a great story for disabled folks as well??#this episode was literally perfect and shattered so many tropes #i did not think of that but yeah that was nice and refreshing #typically when a character becomes wheelchair-bound #they become upset about it #and as you said #they 'feel like a burden' and such #but that wasn't the case here #frank knew that the people in his life cared for him and didn't mind helping make his life easier

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meanderingthoughtsofthewretched · 11 months ago

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Back again.

Another night staying up way too late crying because am I’m trying to fall asleep my brain starts dredging up shit. I was done literally less than an hour ago, but now? Crying again and I know I won’t stop for a while unless I actively distract myself, so might as well type here.

I guess I’ll start with the big one. I was not accepted into grad school. Again. For the *third fucking year in a row*. When I first got the news I was sad, sure, but more than that I was just pissed. I tried *so fucking hard* because *no one* was helping me. I don’t know what people want, what they expect, and I’m just flailing around in the dark.

Yeah, I know the first year was my bad. In my defense, I had not clue what I was doing. I spent wayyyyy too long studying for the stupid fuckjng GRE (why the shit do they have math that I haven’t seen since 7th grade????) and not near enough time on the statement of purpose, cv, or resume. But also in my defense, I didn’t know what schools I was trying to apply for because I was *literally* told certain ones I was not allowed to go to (which I bet my dad conveniently forgot he did) and then the ones I found I was told sucked ass. By the time I was told this (because of course no one fucking told me on their own, I had to fuck up first) it was too late to apply for any of the good ones. Yes, I was someone picky, but god forbid the tiny short ass 100 pound soaking wet sheltered kid not want to go across country **by herself** with *no drivers license or car* and no experience living in an apartment. So I applied to where I could and crossed my fingers.

Obviously, that didn’t work out. Year two, I tried to go for one school only, that way I could tailor my letter better. I thought I did good, but the panic attacks I got any time o tried to work on it made it take too long, and one of my profs didn’t get their letter of recommendation in on time, this I was auto denied. Which sucks, but I understood why.

So try again! Except, the time when I could have been connecting with profs, and writing, I had to spend relearning how to drive and then actually taking the damn test. Fuck, I hated that entire experience. I was constantly anxious and panicked, crying myself to sleep most nights and struggling to hold it together in front of my parents, who were acting like it was the easiest thing in the world to do and didn’t understand why I was struggling. I had to redo everything because wow! Paperwork can expire! And when I last did all of this *two fucking years earlier* they didn’t help me, and left me to flounder. I don’t know why they thought I could magically learn how to drive a car without *being in one* but I guess it didn’t matter that much to them until it was an inconvenience and actually affected them.

Anyways, this year I don’t know why I didn’t get it. I can only guess. Was it because I only had one bio prof, and the other two were other branches? (Earlier prof who got in late decided she just… didn’t want to, and made it my problem because she also took almost a month to answer me, requiring me to find a prof that was willing to write on an incredibly short notice.) Was it because it was turned in close to the deadline? If so, why have the deadline there??? It makes no sense. And I hate that it is during winter break, because if something goes wrong you have to work your ass off to get anyone to answer you about stuff. I also couldn’t show that I was upset, or worried, because that might have made my lil sister upsetti about going back for another semester 🙃

Every single. Fucking. Time I have any problems, someone else has it worse so I have to bite my tongue to not make it worse *for them*. Especially the bean. Jesus I hate that I’m here essentially as an emotional support sister, because my parents were tired of her losing her shit at the smallest things.

And yet!!! She has her life together!! Holy fuck! She’s got a car that she likes that she is confortable driving, a boyfriend who is willing to come see her at the drop of a hat, friends who she regularly sees and hangs out with and are willing to take her places, gaming consoles that are just hers, and a place to stay that is away from parents and where she feels she can be herself. She’s got a job and an internship *paid*, like **well paid** coming up that will likely lead her to other jobs, profs that like her and have said they are willing to write her recommendations, and it’s all been handed to her on a fucking platter.

I was not allowed to learn how to drive until now, much less have a car. No significant other to see or hang with. Friends are far away and don’t bother initiating contact (I have a whole rant saved for later about that). I’ve literally never had my own console to play on, they have all been shared and eventually taken away by my siblings, much less the tv and projector she has. I feel trapped here, and watched. I was literally not allowed to have a job and now can’t do anything because the walkable things are for students only and *I don’t have a fucking car*. One of my profs straight up said she doesn’t want to bother writing for me anymore because I’m not worth it. Basically any opportunity in college was squashed thanks to COVID and me not taking a year off when I should have. And now all opportunities are limited to students so I can’t even get any more experience to try and because a student to actually move on in life. And I just??? What the fuck am I supposed to do??? All I can do is cry.

I haven’t told my dad yet, I have no idea how he will take it. He will probably get mad.

My mum actually had the gall to ask me if I actually want to get a masters. I told her yes, but in reality?? How the fuck should I know??? I was never allowed to have a damn opinion about things involving my life, why start now?? She was the one who decided my life path, hell she tried to decide that for all my siblings, and I was the only one who didn’t say no. So, no, I don’t know if I actually want this, I don’t know what I want to do at all, this is her dream. Be been so damn depressed for so long, all I want is to have a stable life.

All I want is somewhere to live with people I choose, who I don’t feel obligated to take care of, a stable job that pays decently so I can occasionally get things I like, and isn’t soul crushing, a car that gets me places safely, and the ability to breathe without being constantly stressed out.

Is that really so much to ask???

I’ll do the friend rant later, but I’m. Too tired. It took over an hour to write this and it’s just ramble at this point.

Fuck

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