#like I don't personally see it as a form of regret or punishment

[babiestbubbles]

Consequences

(A character study/analysis that kind of stumbled its way into being a drabble?)

I absolutely love when people play around with the consequences that Jack and Janet's neglect would have on Tim, and the ways it would foster a desperation for affection/attention with little to no regard for the cost or consequences. But I hate when people write it off as, "Bruce saves sad sad Tim from his neglectful parents. Tim finally gets the love he wants and deserves. They live happily ever after." (I'm using affection and attention interchangeably here to denote the same concept of positive recognition)

Because, while i do absolutely think that Tim's neglect, coupled with the intrinsic human desire for companionship and positive attention, would result in a desperation for affection. I don't think it would be that two dimensional. I think that instead Tim with end up with a really complicated relationship with affection.

I think it would play out more like, Pre-Bruce Tim really wanting affection, fantasizing about being saved/cared for, and constantly oscillating between self blame + fear that he brought his neglect upon himself and anger or resentment towards his parents for neglecting him.

But then post-adoption? (induction? whatever?) Tim, watching his fantasies be fulfilled and being absolutely revolted by it. Tim who craves affection so badly, deflecting or avoiding attention and affection when he does get it. Being uncomfortable when faced with the same acts of care he'd spent years yearning for. Running from family dinners and movie nights and any form of platonic intimacy, locking himself away in his room and isolating to avoid the discomfort that bubbles under his skin.

But also immediately regretting it. Locking himself away only to sit in his bedroom and yearn for something that's right outside of his door. Pushing away anyone's attempts to be close to him or care for him, but then being devastated when people pull back and give him space.

Him sneaking out and going to parties, acting out, breaking things all over the manor all for the same attention he pushed away when spoon fed. Him having no regard for consequences because everything he breaks could be replaced, and the worst that could happen to him when he sneaks out is ending up sick, and thus not expecting to be punished or reprimanded.

Because of this, I really see Tim being entirely caught off guard when presented with punishment and consequence. Begging Bruce not to bench him, apologizing, desperately trying to bargain, barter, or hell blackmail his way out of trouble, all to no avail.

And Tim subsequently throwing a literal tantrum as he realizes there's no getting out of this. Because this is the first time Tim has ever been faced with a punishment that contains no loophole or means of negotiating his way out. A punishment he KNOWS will be personally fufilled/carried out by Bruce. Unlike Janet and Jack's approach that Tim is used to, where they rarely cared enough to even remember the punishment, not to mention follow through. Meaning Tim's being faced with, for all intents and purposes, his very first real consequence/punishment as a result of his actions. And that, the unequivocal nature of his punishment makes Tim feel trapped. It’s suffocating, terrifying, and entirely uncharted territory for Tim, which results in his 14 yr old grown ass literally throwing himself on the floor sobbing begging Bruce to let up. Because he feels so absolutely helpless in his situation, he's begged and he's pleaded and he's tried everything he could think of and none of it's working and he has no idea what to do with himself, how to react. He cannot comprehend his newfound lack of autonomy at all and it results in him literally melting down on floor of the manor hoping that it will somehow change the circumstances, or at the very least relieve the caged desperation thrashing in his chest.

And Bruce is absolutely shellshocked to see this 14 yr old straight up collapse into tears so, for a couple seconds, he's just kind of frozen, not sure what to do. And this only upsets Tim more, because on top of the insufferable affection and now overbearing rules and damning punishments, Now? When Tim needs him the most? Is when Bruce decides he's done with the whole caring parent act? Now is when he's being deprived of affection and soothing? When it's the only thing that could possibly make the world around him stop spinning?

And the further frustration manifests in like, the meltdown evolving from just crying and a bit of kicking, to incoherent and self destructive distress. Head hitting, hair pulling, biting, scratching, clawing at himself anything to make the feeling go away, anything to distract him from the fact that everything is wrong and awful and miserable and there's no escaping any of it.

And it's this transition into physically harmful behavior that snaps bruce out of his little trance and has him bending down to meet Tim on the floor. Shushing him and trying his best to comfort Tim knowing full well that every other instance in which he's tried this has ended with Tim making a break for it before Bruce could get more than a sentence out.

Except this time is different. This time Tim is tiny and helpless and heartbreakingly overwhelmed thrashing on the floor. This time Tim is that tiny broken 5 year old, begging the parked cars in the garage to bring his parents back. This time Tim doesn't *want* the comfort, he *needs it*.

And he clings to it like a lifeline. His arms are trembling in Bruce’s hold, and he continues to thrash and fight for a minute, as he fights for shuddering wet breaths. But after a few seconds of soothing, the fighting subsides, and Bruce drops his wrists in favor of wrapping the boy in a hug. Tim refuses to let him go. For the rest of the night.

Yet another,Obligatory self-promo for my DC agere discord server

Join it! Come harass me for fics, hcs, and drabbles personally ‼️ /silly

[fish-bowl-2]

All the Eds have issues in their home lives, but there is something about Edd’s family situation that I just find endlessly fascinating. Just really delving into the complicated baggage surrounding it, and how uniquely fucked up it is.

The fact that there is so much distance and lack of communication between Edd and his parents really brings up a lot of questions about WHAT their actual interactions are even like. I mean, while they are largely absent (even for a show whose whole premise does not include parents being visible), it is implied that they, or at least one of them comes home. Do they even talk to their son when they are there?

I think the thing that really gets me is that, while yes they do supply for their son’s physical needs: a comfortable home, food, etc. the emotional needs are completely neglected. Which speaks to a super specific, entitled suburban kind of disinterest that I find uniquely cruel.

[nebbyy]

How do you think Baldwin would react if reader got into a heated argument with someone to the point it was getting really bad?

King Baldwin x reader - Defending your honor

A/N: eheheh I see you guys really yearn to see Baldwin losing his temper, huh?

I can't lie I've been thinking of a similar scenario too lately, I guess you can't help it when he's so perfect in every way, shape or form🙈

Painting is "Orestes pursued by the Furies" by Adolphe William Bouguereau btw :))

Warning: mention of disrespect towards reader but nothing is actually specified!

He's intervening right away

He's got the wits to shut anyone's mouth, and he isn't afraid to embarrass whoever it is that is disrespecting his perfect wife

Whether it's a snide remark, a direct insult or an order for them to shut their mouths if they don't want any consequences for their outrageous behavior

If it got really really bad, like you said, I can actually see him lose his temper

Maybe the person arguing with you took it too far by directly insulting or belittling you, and that would cross the line for him

He'd jump up from his seat, pushing his chair down to the floor in the act, while looking dead in the eye unfortunate fool who dared to disrespect her highness the queen of Jerusalem

"If you dare to speak to your queen in such a tone again, your tongue will be your next meal!"

Everyone is shocked. You are shocked, his knights are shocked, your own rival is shocked (and mostly terrified)

Baldwin is a bit surprised with his own rush of wrath, too, but he doesn't give any hint of his surprise

While his servants waste no time putting his chair back in place, he keeps standing menacingly, eyeing the culprit of such blasphemy against his wife

After a few apologies from the person, Baldwin would hiss through gritted teeth: "It is the queen you have to apologize to, you miserable"

And that tone somehow manages to be even more threatening than his previous yelling, maybe because everyone knew that in that moment he was in his right state of mind, and that he was able to make whatever decision he wanted to punish the man before him, without ever regretting it

He wouldn't calm down until you give him a sign that everything's alright, then he'd drop the subject but it would still cling to him for the rest of the day

He loves you more than words can express, and he will never, ever be able to just stand silently there and observe someone disrespect you like that

[kyumisyumi]

Something something something eldritch Nikto something something something

I've sifted through so many ideas for this because I didn't wanna just pick a random eldritch creature from my box of horrors and slap Nikto's name on it. But also I don't feel like I have enough info about him(ironic, considering I write about him so much) to craft him into a creature. I watched some documentaries on eldritch horrors, dived into Russian cryptids and still drew blanks but here's what I managed

Rating: E for everyone who loves Nikto

Eldritch!Nikto x F!Reader

Word count: 1

Part 2

~Taking requests~

You weren't running from the consequences of your actions, more like briskly walking in the opposite directions. Looking forward all the way because backwards held the sounds of large dogs and angry men. Their boots cracking every twig and foliage along the way, voices interrupting the once peaceful ambiance of the woods. You could hardly tell whether the growling was from the hounds or the men. And really, who wouldn't want to run away from such a thing? Not run; walk. Quickly, very quickly. You were being smart, not cowardly.

No, never that.

You weren't cowardly when you snuck into that guardsman's post. You weren't cowardly when you tried to steal the gold he confiscated from the Miller's wife, the only woman that kept you fed while the streets were your home. You weren't cowardly when you defended yourself once he caught you. And you weren't cowardly when you accidentally bashed his head in with a clay pot. He should've worn a helmet, really. A guard should always have their helmet on! What was he thinking? Now look at you, running for your life and deluding yourself as if it would change the actions of the past.

Running.

You ran your mouth, ran your mind, but no matter how fast you moved, you couldn't outrun hunting dogs. Your fault, really, for trying to do so while wearing the long, ugly skirt you stole from someone's unattended clothesline. You should've maybe stolen the guard's old pants, you knew he had some because he mentioned wanting to give them to his nephew who was in combat training. Instead you dashed out the home the moment you realized he wasn't breathing, panicked by your first time taking a life. What were you thinking?

"I wasn't-" you spat a thick glob of blood out your mouth, it's red color staining the putrid black floor. Tears staining your vision and pain plaguing your mind. "I didn't mean to." You said it over and over again but it was little defense against men who'd lost a comrade because of you. A good man. A good man who stole from widows and bullied the elderly? It's weird how two people can look at the same person but see someone different. But that train of thought was halted by a kick to your stomach. And when one of the men took the final hit, the force of it sending you against the edge of the pit, you finally felt that feeling in your stomach. The one you hid away behind conversations with yourself. Locked away behind a naive expectation that things will either go your way or go away. Your first taste of true regret. Because you got a glimpse of where that attitude has lead you. That attitude that kept you going when your parents had left you. That attitude that kept you alive when your survival was in your own hands at an age where other children were being coddled and sung to. That attitude that protected you in the harsh village slum, now had you staring down into hell. 'The pit'; a giant hole defacing mother earth's perfect form. It's surface covered in black ichor, you couldn't tell whether the walls were moving or you'd been hit so hard your vision was thoroughly fucked. This was considered a punishment worse than death. Jokesters and troublemakers got a stern talking to. Thieves and crooks got jail time. Murders and adulterers got death. But the truly damned got the pit. The punishment didn't match the crime but judging by the hate filled glares of the men surrounding you, they didn't much care.

Or maybe they did care, they cared about you as much as you did yourself, these days.

That was a more comforting thought, maybe? Maybe not. Either way, thinking about it felt a whole lot better than thinking of the weightlessness you felt as you fell. Your vision quickly losing the greens and yellows of a gentle forest to being plunged into darkness. A darkness beyond description. One that surpassed what's seen when you close your eyes for the night. That surpassed the unconsciousness of sleep when dreams escaped you. A darkness that felt like death yet was somehow alive.

The walls were moving, they shifted uncomfortably as they felt the presence of another. Voices that whispered of uncertainty and conflict. Voices that yelled intruder and ones that yelled fodder. But one voice just hummed in curiosity at seeing the source of blood and spit and tears it tasted. He had consumed many of your kind but what little it had of you ignited interest rather than hunger. So it did not eat. Didn't wrap you in its tendrils and rip you apart into easily digestible pieces to be absorbed by its mass. The tendrils held you, confused by their many intentions and wants, before simply bringing you lower into the pit. To the very bottom that no other creature has ever seen. No other creature would ever be allowed near. Far too close to it's more vulnerable organs. But you wouldn't hurt it, would you? Wouldn't hurt them. Not with those blunt nails and teeth, not with those little limbs and severed ties to the natural order. You were weaker than it's weakest points yet you fought against his tendrils like you believed you could win. Struggled and resisted as if you had a fighting chance. 'Hush, little human.' It thought as it strangled you, only enough to render you unconscious. Give it enough time to build a prison home inside itself for you. Then build a form for himself more perceptible to your primitive eyes, he'd tried once before but the human face was so hard to mimic. There was so much anger inside you, more for yourself than for him. And Nikto couldn't understand it. There is only one 'you' inside that tiny, fleshy form. How can one be angry at their own/only self? That would be one of the first things he asked. He felt there was nothing a creature like you could teach him yet he had so much he wanted to ask regardless. Maybe once he had his answers he could finally consume you in peace. Maybe then the voices that called for him to spare you will quiet down. And the ones that screamed for him to bond with you will stop. Your body couldn't handle the things he desires... Could it?

Regardless, he has time. All the time in the world and beyond.

Silly human, getting yourself thrown down here, what were you thinking?

All in all, I didn't want to forget the eldritch and just make a monster.

[katyspersonal]

who do you think fucked up worse…gehrman or maria?

This is an interesting question, and I kind of didn't think of it before! Time to take a closer look at their crimes I guess. Some of these will be held on the possibilities and 'safe assumptions' though and addressed for the full picture!

1) Both were involved in Fishing Hamlet massacre!

With Maria, we can conclude as much because she discarded her weapons in the well at the place specifically. Her version in the Nightmare realm, a Hunter again, is supposed to be what punishes her, and she is focused on keeping Kos/OoK away from rummaging through. Considering the nature of the Nightmare, as well as the Doll who has spiritual connection with her, it should come from her guilt and regrets rather than.. I dunno, discarding the hunt over natural 'character development' and just picking a cool place to forsaken her past!

Gehrman sleeps better according to the dialogue Doll has after you kill OoK and free it's soul, so if it tortured him so, I think it is safe to say he had to be personally involved too rather than stay back while his students did the job:

They both were involved with Byrgenwerth, following their quest for obtaining the eyes of the dwellers from their skulls, and I suppose cord of OoK?

The thing about this point is that the description is written as though it was Gehrman's curiosity which ruined Maria's "idealisation" of him, or WOULD ruin it had she learned of it! This makes me wonder whether she was really involved in Byrgenwerth all that much, or whether she was aware of the real purpose of Fishing Hamlet massacre beforehand? Her goal, within the Nightmare, is stated to mercy-kill us so we don't allow that curiousity corrupt us to the point of "rummaging through corpse" and similar things, further supported by her visceral attack being an embrace if it is lethal!

I am just saying that here the balance might slightly shift towards making Gehrman 'worse' than her. Maybe she was not aware that it all was not just killing "monsters" but also a pregnant mother with her divine baby, but "well you didn't ask :/". Maybe Gehrman deceived her to use her aid. Maybe he didn't think it would be a big deal for her seeing that Maria was also interested in evolution through talking with Great Ones, and assumed she'd be just as callous about which means to accomplish the goals with?

2) Both were grave-robbing, or at least okay with that!

This one is a little less obvious, but Tomb Prospectors were not the first to go to the Chalice Dungeons! ...It were actually Willem, Dores and Gatekeeper lol:

BUT ALSO it were Old Hunters! We can see the remnants of it by Old Hunter Vitus being one the summons in Chalice Dungeons, hear Gehrman encourage us to go into the Chalice Dungeons to become stronger as via "tradition" of the Old Hunters,

and the fact that one of the things that torture Maria (again, remember that Nightmare Realm is Hell that punishes) is a Chalice:

(A video ( x ) for a better look at the Chalice from a figure)

I'd say that it is not very nice to disturb the undead Pthumerians just struggling in remains of their civilisation! Interesting thing: we can conclude they are even staying there to protect the Great Ones or their remains!

There has been some sort of civil war between ancient great-ones-respecting Pthumerians and who late became Cainhurst nobles! Maria, ironically, fell onto the side of "entitled guys" descendants! But yes, I could see why bullying zombie guys to get more history and archeology relics from them might not seem like much for her at start. Experience in the Fishing Hamlet likely retroactively ruined this period of her life for her: delving into Chalice Dungeons was likewise 'not leaving the corpse alone'. The remaining Pthumerians were right having some honour and dignity. So, that came to haunt her in the form of Pthumeru Chalice. Gehrman is.. well he's here too I guess dfshfdhs

3) Both knew a little too much about Laurence's shady business and did nothing?

Old Hunters used to be friends with Healing Church's Hunters and even had their workshops located close to one another! Gehrman was friends with Laurence and Ludwig, who are both quite strongly involved with Moon Presence (Ludwig's sword and guidance, Laurence's affiliation being known since Byrgenwerth times), as well as the key figure in creation of Hunter's Dream:

This was most likely a bait-and-switch, seeing how the cord itself is still in the real Workshop, and not in the grasp of Moon Presence (unlike, say, Wet Nurse taking Mergo's cord)! I think the purpose of creation of the Hunter's Dream was to "buy time" for the research conceived by the scientists! Remember: Gehrman was known to have "madness of curiosity" that Maria resented, or at least would resent had she known! He might have been fully aware of what Laurence wanted to do and support it! My point here, that with such proximity, he must have known of all Laurence's crimes and agreed with them!

Maria was at least overseer of the Clocktower's Research Hall, which, again, was just beta!Choir.

This last line IS a bit confusing, because it makes it sound as though the nerds looking for the Eyes Inside and the Blood Ministers got split. Laurence and Ludwig make it weird, as Moon Presence is also an Eldrich creature and Ludwig is for sure full of eyes! What also makes it strange is that Choir, and then School of Mensis, are both upper echelons of the Healing Church, but Laurence is supposed to be above both of them.

I think this can be worked with! Let's say what if Choir formed after Laurence's death, which also happened after Maria's death, and Vicars after him were somewhat "powerless" and walked over by Choir and Mensis, only leaders in the name! But that still leaves the bit that the mentioned "division" happened after Choir was formed! Maria and Adeline, however, are locked to the existence of the Research Hall, so, the timeframe when doctors and blood ministers were 100% working together! We find the Eye Pendant that opens the access to the Research Hall in Laurence's hand, and human Skull of Laurence on the platform that hides the secret elevator to that Research Hall. Again, by the Nightmare Logic, they must be connected with Laurence's sins: he started this research, or sponsored it, or was overseeing it, and so on.

This point is not an absolute thing though, because one or both of them might be freed from guilt here. Maybe Gehrman was not as informed and agreeable as we could assume and Laurence did lead him around? Maybe Maria wanted but could not do anything being caught in the web of complicated connections, blackmail and risks for the people she cared about?

4) Both are willingly involved in questionable practices (Maria with research, Gehrman with the cycle of Dream and Hunt)

This point I feel like transcends the morality a little bit, as it touches the matter of 'it is bad if you do it, but it is also bad if you DON'T do it'. I really love Soulsborne universes for having guts to say "you can't win, just pick your poison", but I think it is still worth addressing!

It is up to interpretation in which quantity Maria is involved with the Research Hall! Nothing states whether she founded it, joined in the research later, stepped in and turned the tides (ba dum tss) of the research, or simply was a caretaker/nurse/etc of the broken mess while Research Hall was getting ready for a bit of rebranding. She can be very guilty, or she can be barely guilty but in either case if that was her "redemption arc" that was a pretty bad way to go about it. ...or was it?

Fauxsefka turns people into Celestial Emissaries so they physically can't become beasts instead, and is even stated to be a hero / heroic researcher by Miyazaki:

First, I don't do Death of the Author (in terms of interpreting media I mean, not in terms of a style of writing)! Like, nope. Never. It is just not for me. Creator's word is the final for me; Fauxsefka is the good guy in the story, apparently, and it makes sense considering the fundamentally broken place characters are in! Maria has similarities with Fauxsefka: not only both of them have Cainhurst roots, but also both of them seem to favour 'Stars' line of evolution for humans!

Whereas other patients are afraid of the horrors of the Deep Sea, a concept Miyazaki could not get over well into DS3, Adeline desires them! Other patients seems to have gotten it right, and you can see one of them also clings to Maria mentally to "not drown"; Adeline "didn't understand"! The balcony that Maria wants Adeline to go to so she can forsaken the Deep Sea and seek something "happier" holds unique kind of patients who can shoot cosmic arcane spells:

Herself, Maria is associated with these lumenflowers: their petals are all over her boss arena, and the way to her lays through a much bigger batch of flowers, where Living Failures, other 'Stars' Kin are, whose song lyrics also feature lines 'ave stellar' and 'ave Maria'!

So, how this is different from what Fauxsefka is doing, who is stated to be as much of a good person as possible within this context and with the burden of her knowledge? Fauxsefka was doing more or less rinse-and-repeat practice, with maybe a few patients not surviving the procedure but we don't know what happened: maybe that person was already at the brink of death and she tried to make them live like this.

^ This guy I mean. Maria, on the other hand, is in the time period where the doctors and scientists were only testing the waters (BA DUM TSSS) (ok I will stop) and it was not SO certain what was at the stake, what were the alternatives, what was awaiting the humanity. It is even possible that the beasts problem was not yet bad to the point of "you'll either become a beast, be eaten by a beast or become a Kin, humanity is DONE for!" ! This was an unethical research at the cost of real people! The weight of Maria's sin here really depends on the interpretation, though

As for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, this is complicated and lingers on one's interpretation of what the purpose of the Dream even IS! Its existence provides two things: 1) a hunter who is immortal for the night, thus can sustain the beasts with efficiency like no other, but also effect the continuity of the night ( x ) and 2) supposed sustenance to the Great One Flora of the Moon, who holds the hunt as a concept!

I used to be a bit more set on the idea that if beasts are not sustained and hunted, they will simply overpower those who are yet humans and eat them! It is a self-feeding cycle of people needing to self-defend from beasts, thus having to consume the blood as urgent means of healing and power-up since beasts are too strong, thus risking to become beasts themselves because the blood they consumed during that hunt corrupts them. So, the Hunter's Dream would be a good thing, as it'd help to 'buy time' during nights of the hunt in which not only beasts are more active but Great Ones too! While the Dreaming Hunter holds everything together, the greatest minds of the Healing Church can efficiently study the ways to end beasthood, or ANY problem of humanity, once and for all! It is just better to throw the hunting resources on the Dream, so the scientists don't worry about the beasts and can focus on research. However, I almost forgot that:

This implies that had there not been Mensis Ritual ongoing, people WOULD have the chance to simply 'wait away' the beasthood problem. That, since Rom is not stopping Mensis Ritual but just conceals it, what really makes the inner beast within everyone who consumed the blood inevitably come out is Mergo's cry that draws the Bloodmoon close!

So yeah, the point about Hunter's Dream being helpful for the research of evolution still stands, especially under assumption that the deal with Moon Presence helped to bring more Eldrich Arcane close for "feeding" her. The point about how if the beasts are not hunted they'll simply eat everyone, though, is vague. It is safer to assume that the Hunter's Dream and Research Hall both are both example of hubris of man even if approached differently. Attempts to draw in something dangerous and horrifying, but it is "justified risk" because if you manage to 'tame' arcane/blood, sure, humanity will prosper!

Like... yeah, sure, there IS dangerous and undesireable nature of man that ruins everything and might or might not still linger in humanoids' genes after Loran. But did humanity ASK any of you guys to keep trying to fix it with so many victims and sacrifices? Like, was it WORTH it?

This point is closely tied to 'knowing Laurence's bad antics and doing nothing', yeah. Maria didn't seem to like blood ministration very much, as she disapproved of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint, but she also didn't even approve of blood antics of her own clan! I am not sure what would be her opinion on the Hunter's Dream had she lived to the point when it was created, just that she herself is not willing to ever hunt, so I am leaving this point aside. Is this just blood ministration that she opposes but proximity with a Great One Moon Presence would be something she can see the potential of? Or would she and Gehrman have a pointless cat fight about whose methods are better when they are both hubris of man? In both versions they are 'guilty'! Besides:

In the end none of THIS matters either and everyone was fooled ( x ). The blood offering is a blood offering in any way; whether it is through spilling blood violently during the hunt, or offering the blood's 'red' with how celestial Kin all bleed red. Moon doesn't care what paints it red, in the end.

___________________________________

My conclusion is: both of these characters fucked up almost equally! I think the balance shifts just a little bit and Maria is slightly better than Gehrman since she had some limitations set on how far she was willing to go. Her motivation was not in "curiosity" but strictly in helping humanity, even if in unfair ways, which is apparently not the case for Gehrman?

I'll say this though, NOW I am hooked on the idea of Maria and Gehrman being petty "rivals" ideologically (for as long as they could before Maria's own demons caught up with her). Especially since neither approach is better than the other and they are both cringe loosers! Again, lost comedy gold over Fromsoft making Gehrman's tender and warm feelings for her before and after her death plain. What is not lost, however, is the fact that the two should just kick Laurence and go home :pensive:

[rubra-wav]

Snap (part 2) - Honesty

Snap (Part 1) - Deception

A/N: Listen man, I wish I could just say that Vox would just accept 'I love you' with his secret situationship he's terrified of losing and just say it back, fluff instantly ensuing, but we all know that would not be accurate at all.

Ow.

Td;lr for this one for the people who don't wanna read the actual smut - reader who's in a secretly mutually requited situationship with him catches Vox looking at them through cameras and decides to 'punish' him for it. In the end, though, the reader ends up accidentally telling them they love him. This fic ensues. Also, flower symbolism <3

Cw: rating 18+ (there's no smut, but it's part 2 of smut, so yeah), Vox is insecure and delulu as hell, reference to staticmoth/toxic/abusive relationship stuff, angsty asf, ref to physical abuse, miscommunication, hella infuriating - we get there eventually though, gn reader

There was one unbending, unspoken rule between the two of you ; that even with how obviously attracted to one another you were, you would never attempt to push it further.

You had your life, and Vox had his. His image being the clearly most important thing to him that trumped whatever you two had.

Even if your attraction to one-another became far more than just physical, you'd never push it further than friends with benefits for fear of it being unrequited and ruining everything the two of you had.

'I love you.' Spoken hazily, without a second thought however, changed that completely.

It broke all of what your relationship was fundamentally built upon; that being hiding your true feelings beyond what was physical for one another.

'I love you', spoken in your bedroom, under the eyes of the wilting red flowers that had now exposed not one but two deceptions, ruined everything you had going.

Or at least, that's what it initially seemed like.

Vox felt his heart go crazy at the words you'd just spoken, him feeling even more over the moon then he already did that you weren't going to kick him to the curb.

But then his heart dropped again as he realised what must have been really happening.

His face burnt with anger as you said those words, him sitting up and pushing you off of him.

"Do not say that to me." He growled out, standing up and moving awkwardly with what had just transpired to go put his clothes back on to go leave.

He'd done this before, and he really thought that this would be different, that his feelings for you wouldn't be played with like his were constantly his in his situationship with Val.

But here you were, telling him you loved him after fucking him and only after fucking just like he did.

How long would it take for you to start starting undesireable fights with him for no reason?

How long would it also take for the security you provided to be ripped away from him?

How long would it take until you moved on to find someone else because he wasn't enough for you.

How long would it take before he's always option 2 whenever that other person you want isn't available? When he's always just the afterthought and nothing more.

Your eyes widened in shock, and a wave of pain and regret washed over you. You didn't see the real reason he was flipping out, just seeing the man you loved telling you not to express that to him. Just saw your worst fears being confirmed.

You didn't have the guts to pry further to find the true root with your own hurt, unable to take his response as anything but bitter rejection of your feelings.

Vox didn't see the way you crumpled, expression fucking ruined behind him as unshed tears made your eyes hazy. "Right.. sorry." You apologised quietly to receive no response but him letting out a sound that expressed clear disappointment as he left your room without another glance towards you.

As Vox reached for the door, though, now out of eyeshot of you, he hesitated for a second. Tears once again formed in his eyes for what's the umpteenth time tonight.

His hand hovered above the doorknob as he considered a different thought process. Maybe you were actually being serious. Maybe this was real.

He grit his teeth, shaking his head and taking the only light in the house with himself as he left with bitter pain in his chest. He would not allow himself to have another Val in his life.

The door shut behind him with a sound that weighed heavy on your shoulders as the house became completely and utterly silent.

You sat with your head between your knees on your bed, feeling a mixture of sadness and anger forming a truly disgusting concoction of emotions inside of you.

You'd discovered he'd been doing this greatly violating thing and had given him a second chance, only for him to walk out on you because you told him you loved him? Of fucking course. It wasn't even surprising at this point. It was Vox.

You shook your head as you laid down on your bed, looking at the ceiling as tears blurred your already shit vision in the darkness, your heart in a million pieces.

Just what had you been expecting exactly? It was clear that the only person he had eyes for was Valentino, even if the piece of shit was a horrible boyfriend through and through. You'd been there many a time after their fights for him only to come crawling right back to the fucker.

Of course, he'd walk out on his side piece telling them they loved him. Your strange situationship with one another was never going to ever be anything but second to his real love; an abusive asshole who didn't love him and only showed up again when he got bored of his other toys.

You blinked into the darkness as you tiredly leaned over to the light on your bedside table, feeling for it and flicking the switch.

It didn't come on as it clicked.

Of course he'd caused the damn lights to break.

You growled in annoyance, turning over onto your side and curling up in a ball.

You'd fallen for such a piece of shit and allowed all that was good with him to slip away in one stupid moment of peace with him after a hell of a lot of pent up anger towards him.

It was stupid, really, that you'd be so upset over what was so obviously going to happen from the get-go.

It still hurt, though. So fucking much.

-

The next week was hard, to say the very least. In the whole fiasco with punishing Vox, he'd fried your phone as well as your lights so you now didn't have one.

He usually supplied you with new ones when this happened, but obviously, no Vox around meant no new phone.

His lack of effort to attempt to contact you pissed you off frankly. You repeatedly attempted to try and speak with him in person, but you just kept getting told to leave by his staff.

Your relationship wasn't exactly public, and you were sure he'd blow up rather than go silent on you if you told them you were together to try to get him to come out of hiding from you like a little bitch, so you just let bygones be bygones for now.

The man child could come crawling back to you whenever he got sick of whatever (you expected at least) he had going on with Val again, you weren't going to let any of this bullshit slide though even if he came back on his knees beggin for forgiveness. (Something that would, of course, never happen. Vox didn't do apologies. Not real ones at least.)

You were frankly done as fuck with him and his constant unending string of bullshit he refused to take responsibility for.

Your anger just worsened the longer he was absent. You almost wanted the thought that he was done with you this time to be true, despite the stupid fucking part of you that wanted him to come back.

Under all this bullshit and masks he wore; he was so different. You wished you could just be with that part of him, the real parts he hesitated each time to show to you because it was imperfect and a fucking mess. But of course, that would never happen. It was truly a fantasy.

After 6 days of nothing, the first sign of him showed up finally. A letter to your house saying he wanted to see you to 'talk'.

-

Vox knew damn well he was being completely unfair to you doing this, but he couldn't bring himself to back down and apologise.

He didn't make mistakes.

At least, that's how he liked to act. He'd rather hang onto his bullshit knowing full well it's bullshit until the end of time than ever admit fault.

After the incident, he'd spiralled completely. Privately having an angry breakdown about it, humiliated that he'd let himself fall into yet another Valentino situation.

It was easier to just take it out on you than actually hold himself responsible for shit and do the disgusting, pathetic practice of crawling back to you and apologising.

So even though he knew damn well that either way he was in the wrong, just expecting you had turned out to be another mistake along his path of failed lovers, he went silent on you rather then actually communicating at all. Naturally.

It probably looked to you like he'd run off, not giving a single shit anymore, but that was far as it gets from the truth. It was eating away at him. The rare feeling of genuine regret and guilt for his actions shocked him, and it only grew with each passing day.

He couldn't just let things end like this, he needed some... one last interaction with you before not seeing you again. As much as he had genuine feelings for you, he would not allow what he thought was going on to progress any farther.

As he lay in bed on his back, looking up at his ceiling he heart ached as that stupid goddamn thought entered it again. The idiotic idea that you could be actually telling the truth. He hated how it entered his mind and he had to again and again shoot it down to not fucking kid himself.

You didn't actually love him.

Never in a million years would he actually fall in love with someone and have them feel the exact same.

... right?

He pressed his hands over his eyes as his mandatory 'sleep' mode began to shut him off for the night. Tomorrow he would see you for the last time. Shut down what was happening before it began.

What he thought was happening between the two of you.

-

You almost didn't want to go and actually see him, funnily enough. You'd been trying desperately to go and talk to him for the past week, and it would feel pretty good to know he got stood up.

Not that it was really much of a place to be stood up.

For some reason Vox had told you to meet up with him in a secluded grassy field fairly in the middle of nowhere. To talk without any risk at all of people hearing, you guessed.

Still, it was weird. This was the type of shit murderers did, not your ultra-rich situationship. Whatever.

You forced yourself to keep walking up the hill despite really not wanting to see him. He was standing at the top facing away from you with his hands in his pockets, his face casting blue light down over the immediate grass before him.

As your crunching footsteps echoed out in the mostly silent clearing, he turned around to look down at you.

For agonising seconds, you two just stood there silently, staring at one another. The sound of distant insects, and the slight breeze passing through the leaves of outstretched tree branches the only sound.

He looked perfect as always, but his expression was unsure, hesitant as he looked at you.

Your heart truly fucking ached terribly, and you hated it. You fought the angry tears that you know would start spilling the probably second you heard his voice.

"What is it then." Your voice was quiet, but your words hung as heavy on his shoulders as it could get.

Vox gulped, clearing the lump in his throat, and slipped on a brave face. "I just wanted to see you one last time. I figured it would be shitty of me to.. break up? Over text." He said casually despite the agonising pit that felt like it was consuming him.

You grit your teeth, emotions swelling and bubbling out in a short, humourless bark of laughter. "So that's how it is, huh?" Your voice was thick with the constricting string of strong emotions bubbling up in your chest. You were pissed, the fact he called you out here just to 'break up' with you face to face was an asshole move even for him, sad that you were being told this bullshit, but also just fucking confused under all of that.

Vox would have just left and rode off into the hills and never would do this if he didn't actually give a fuck, so what the hell was happening?

Vox cringed hearing your tone, expression faltering for just a moment before slipping back on. "... yes?" He said it to sound concise, but it came out a question. He cringed inwardly.

You squinted at him, unshed tears making his bright face in comparison to the night all the more blurry with vectors of light messing with you.

His expression was unsure as could be, he wasn't looking you in the eye, and he was fidgeting with his hands. It's like he was expecting something from you. Something bad?

You briefly thought about how you'd seen him acting when he'd come to you after Val had hurt him and broken his screen after he'd gotten snippy with him.

That's when two things hit you like the worlds biggest truck. Why you were so fucking confused and had some nagging thought eating at you that you couldn't properly grasp up until now.

The first; He fucking clearly had feelings for you as well.

The second; He was expecting you to physically lash out at him. Anticipating some sort of Val level breakdown over you.

What the fuck was happening right now?

He would not have come out here if he didn't care at all, and certain times you thought he may have even felt possibly the same way you had.

So why in the fucking world had he stormed out of your house when you told him you had feelings for him as well?

Vox watched your progression of emotions as you didn't respond for a while with confusion, heart beating quick as his tenseness anticipating some massive blow up from you slowly eased off. Your next question caught him all the more off guard.

"Why did you call me out here to talk face to face to break things off?" You asked, brow furrowed and your expression equally confused, trying to read his intentions. You continued, blinking hard to try to clear your wet eyes so you could actually clearly see. One rolled down your cheek in the process, and Vox looked even more startled by it than the question.

"If you don't love me too, even a little bit, then why would you call me out here to break up with me face to face." You demanded an answer more than asked a question, expression hard.

He looked stunned at you, not believing what he was hearing, sputtering before letting out a strangled response. ".. No, you don't." He said.

You arched a brow at him in confusion. "Wha-" he cut you off.

"You don't love me! That was just some bullshit to play with my emotions after we fucked!" Suddenly Vox was angry as all hell, jumping to another assumption as he walked closer to you, towering over you and furious, the sound of electricity crackling loudly as his system begun to get overwhelmed quickly.

"And no-ow you're trying to convince me to not fucking leave!" Vox turned to side, laughing humorlessly and pressing his palm to his head. "God, I was right. You're just like h-i-im!" His words glitched with his overwhelming anger as he looked to the side at you.

You looked at him as everything fell into place, and suddenly, you were also furious. "Oh for fuck sake, Vox!" You yelled, stepping back. "Has all this shit happened because this whole time, all you've been thinking about is Val?" Angry tears welled up in your eyes, and you gripped his face, forcing him to look you straight in the eye as you spoke.

"I am not lying you insecure dumbass!" Vox's anger faltered as he watched your genuinely furious expression, a mess of tears and painful emotions. Not wanting to back down, however, he went to bite back some vile retort that never made it from his lips as you interrupted him.

"I said I love you then because I actually am in love with you! And I have been for ages at this goddamn point!" You let go off his face as his expression flickers to unsureness.

You press your hands into either side of your head as you look to the ground. "I fucking see you walk back to that asshole time and time again and my heart breaks each time because I actually love you and would treat you right like he doesn't!" Your voice cracks as you yell at him.

You don't see him begin flushing darkly and startled, now sparking in an entirely different way, extremely taken aback as he finally began actually listening to the sound of anything but his own voice.

"If you had just communicated like an adult instead of running off like an immature child, none of this would have happened. Do you understand that? Or are you too busy projecting your unresolved bullshit onto me to see that?" You look him in the eye again, your fury fading into severe emotional exhaustion after the past week.

"I hate that I love someone like you." You growled out through clenched teeth before turning away from the man who was stunned into utter silence outside of the occasional zapping sound, and began to walk away, shoulders hunched and fists clenched as you trembled.

Vox stood in place, staring dumbly at your back as you walked away feeling a nauseating pit of guilt eating him alive. He had no idea what the hell to do.

If anyone else had spoken to him that way he'd be utterly furious, compensating for all hurt going on within him, but even he couldn't project that shit onto you after what was so clearly true was spat at him. The extremely ugly truth of this whole situation.

He'd fucked up so goddamn bad, so bad he couldn't even lie to himself on that like usual.

His heart constricted painfully in his chest as he replayed your words again and again in his mind. 'I hate that I love someone like you.'

His mouth opened and shut as he fought to try find his voice again as he began crying, your silhouette making it hurt all the more the further you got away from him.

I hate that I love someone like you.

I hate that I love someone like you.

It stung like hell. Rightfully.

Someone he could have a genuine relationship with. Not some one-sided bullshit. Not some toxic requited relationship with someone who'd act as a doormat to his behaviour. You were slipping through his fingers with every second further he hesitated.

He forced himself to go after you despite how frozen he was, thoughts running a dizzying mess in his mind.

You turned back to him with an expression that was a conflicting mixture of relief and irritation that he was jogging after you.

The next words felt like agony for him to say, but despite his ego he forced himself. You had begun to do what no one could - actually started to change him. The thought filled him with a mixture of fear, but also sent warmth flooding through his chest.

"I'm sorry." He said as he caught your hand in his. "I'm sorry I-I..." he trailed off, words catching in his throat as embarrassment clearly burned in his expression.

He forced his red eyes to look into your surprised tired ones though, gulping. It caused his glitching to only worsen, but he kept his eyes on yours anyways.

"I'm sorry that I did-n-n't just talk to you. I sh-should have just. I shouldn't have assumed shit. You aren't Val, it's just hard-" He stopped himself, correcting himself. "It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have done that. Yo-ou-ou-ou-" You took a deep breath through your nose and turned around to face him properly, waiting while he stopped glitching and showcasing a flashing error message enough to get another word out.

His monitor stopped cutting out after a few seconds with a particularly loud zap, red eyes once again looking into yours, a claw coming up to cup your cheek - the gesture causing your expression to once again crumple and start crying despite your smarter parts telling you to not. "You deserved - deserve better than that."

You truly hated that you loved this absolute dumbass. Of all people, why did it have to be the guy who looked like he had a stick being shoved painfully up his ass as he simply said the words 'I'm sorry' after creating this dumpster fire of a situation?

You sighed heavily, leaning into his hand while closing your eyes, it pleasantly cold on your cheek in comparison to your overly warm, puffy face.

Vox grit his teeth, utter humiliation permeating every bit of him.

He couldn't believe he'd ever said such a disgusting thing out loud.

But, the way you leaned into his touch with your eyes fluttering shut made it worth it.

The sound of the surrounding environment filled the air as the warm moment was allowed to sit in peace for a few seconds. Just quiet which washed over you very welcome after everything, and in contrast made Vox all the more antsy.

Vox interrupted everything with an awkward sound clearing his throat, smiling very tensely. "Please tell me I don't have to say sorry again." He half-jokingly (but really more seriously) said.

You slowly opened your eyes again, looking up at him through your lashes. "Mmm. I'm not sure if I quite believe you regret everything yet," you said as if thinking about it. "Maybe if you get down on your knees and grovel a bit, I'll consider it." You smirked teasingly.

Vox let out an irritated huff at the very obvious joking remark but figured it was better he didn't bite back with his usual attitude right now.

You chuckled, and gently gripped either side of his screen as you pulled his face close to yours, very serious now.

"I'll make this clear right now: I do not forgive you. All of this was ridiculous, and your bad actions, which you haven't yet actually acted to remedy, are stacking up. You understand that, right?" He grit his teeth, eyes looking away from you but still slowly nodding begrudgingly. You relaxed a bit, exhaling deeply. "Good." You said, slightly smiling at his pouting expression.

You stood on your tip toes, pressing a kiss on his screen where his cheek should have been. Vox looked back at you, smiling slightly.

"Come on, it's been a week, is that all I get?" He asked, immediately regretting it as you looked annoyed once again.

You shook your head, glaring at him. "Don't push it." You growled, before leaning in and kissing him much more deeply anyways.

Your love was going to be rocky for sure, but as staticky lips moved against yours passionately, you decided that you didn't mind. Whether that would come to be a stupid decision or not, would show itself further down the line. For now, you just wanted to stay in the present.

This part 2 was a long damn time coming goddamn.

I'm gonna be so fr, I was tempted to make this just be angst in the end because oof. But no, I was feeling nice. So you get somewhat actually healing his shitty maladaptive traits Vox.

I'm almost considering making more to this, but also God, there's so much more I'm working on as well 💀 I wish i had more time.

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[ravenzeppeli]

You Dare Disobey Me, Girl? |Silva x Reader Angst|

Warning: brutal spanking, language, nudity, humiliation, sexual themes/discussions, physical abuse.

      Silva stood in front of you, his huge 6'6 form towering over you like a skyscraper, his blue eyes hard and menacing, body ripped with muscles. He made you feel so small and fragile- he could tear you apart if he wished.. that was the exciting part about working here- the rush of always being just so close to death. "I don't like when you act out Y/N, I found you nine years ago trusting you and taking you under my wing. Treating you as my own. Why would you dare to break my trust? Look at you now, in deep shit."

       You were completely naked, humiliation being apart of the punishment as your hands were tied above. You looked up at the metal bar, a sigh escaping your lips as you studied the rope. "I wasn't breaking your trust, I was just overwhelmed that you wanted Illumi to marry me. I didn't mean to run

away, I was going to eventually come back once I had time to think." You didn't like Illumi at all, he had no personality. You sound much rather marry Milluki, at least he speaks kindly to you.

         "You dare disobey me, girl? In my own damn house, acting so keen about everything. You are going to pay," he snapped, taking his thick leather belt off. He shook his head, silver hair resting on his broad shoulders. "You will marry Illumi and you will have my grandchildren. You knew that I would seek that in you, you knew Y/N. That is why I trained you so brutally for all of these years." His bright blue eyes traced down your body, staring at your womanhood with intensity.

         Your cheeks flushed red at the utter humiliation of all of this, knowing that he stares on purpose to humiliate you. Ever since you turned 20 he had begun a new phase in your punishing.. it was painful and embarrassing but in a way you liked it. The pain that once made you go insane was now turning you on wildly, making you grow wet with anticipation for your beating. "I'm sorry I disrespected you."

        His eyes traced up your body, full focus now on your breasts.  "You're going to be very sorry once I'm done with you. I was generous enough to allow you a warning the first time but that came with a promise that you wouldn't run away again. You broke that, so now I am going to beat your ass. Do you understand me?" He questioned, his black shoes padding against the hard ground, now standing in front of you. The leather belt was at his side, taunting you.

          "Why do you have to stare at me like that? What's the reason of staring at someone you will never have anyways? I belong to your little son, shouldn't he be the one to do this since I'm being forced to marry him?" You questioned, tone sharp.. you quickly regretted smarting off to him by the look in his eyes. Suddenly, you were fucking terrified.. your heart rapidly skipping a beat.

          "I could have you and take you right now if I wanted, my wife and I would use your body up.. separately and together. We would break you and next time we will, rather you are Illumi's wife or not. You will be handled," Silva snapped, slapping his large palm across your face with force, a snap gasp escaping your lips as your legs went weak. If it wasn't for the chains that tied your hands you would have fell to the ground. "You will marry my son and you will have our grandchildren. Or you will have mine, and I won't treat you well. Illumi will, do you see how well I treat my wife? I've never put my hands on her unless she asked."

         You shook your head weakly, "how could I marry a man that I don't love? At least give me more time to love him Silva, he hardly speaks to me. He hates me." You looked down, blood dripping onto the floor in front of you, the left side of your face throbbing. You wanted more.. why couldn't you just marry Silva or Kikyo? Damn it, this sucked.

         "He will be back in a week, you will marry her next day. You had seven years, I refuse to wait any longer. Now it is time for me to punish you," he said, walking behind you, his hand resting on your back. "He will learn to love you and he is willing, I already asked him and he said that he would treat you well. You will live rich and you will never be out of work. You will have a great life, just as you do now. Stop being stupid, now apologize to me."

           "But what if Illumi wasn't the one that I desire? What if the one I desire is someone else, someone that I owe my life too," you said, staring into his eyes. It was wrong to love Silva, so wrong.. but everything in this world was wrong. You were wrong. "I love you Silva, please let me be with Kikyo and I promise that I will make the both of you happy," you begged, tears falling down your face. You haven't cried in so long. "I love you so much, please love me back."

           Your desperate and lonely heart clung yo both him and Kikyo those seven years ago and you've been in love with Silva and slowly falling in love with Kikyo ever sense. You usually spent every waking moment with Silva.. how could not fall in love with him? It was impossible to avoid, now you are stuck marrying his stupid son who has the personality of a fucking plank. That was why you ran, you had to escape all of this but instead of letting you go he had to find you. This just wasn't fair at all.

         Suddenly a whip sound filled the air, the hard leather belt crashing on your ass with such force that it knocked the wind out of you, a loud sob escaping your lips, your legs trembling. The motion repeated two more times, the two harsh smack causing your entire body to tremble, a harsh burning sensation lighting your ass on fire. Again. Again. Again. He wasn't letting up, leaving your confession unanswered as he beat you, a low grunt escaping his lips.

         "W-why?" You sobbed out, your legs finally collapsing and giving out. You were hanging by your hands, that being the only thing keeping you up. Despite how uncomfortable it was you couldn't stand.. you were in too much pain as the leather whoosh began to attack your spots.

          "I don't love you in that way, Kikyo and I love you but we have no romantic feelings towards you. Illumi does and he is who you will be with- a man your age. He's my son, if you love me then you can love him," spoke Silva, continuing to harshen his blows. You felt the welts forming on your ass, the bruises that wouldn't heal for a month.. this was your reality. "Apologize and I'll stop. You're bleeding, it is only going to get much worse for you." 

          "I-I apologize!" You cried out, causing the leather belt to finally drop. You sobbed, entire body now shaking.. it hurt so bad, your ass throbbing, hands cramping.. you shouldn't have said anything. You should have never ran away.. you knew that this was bound to happen sometime.

          "Good, I'll come let you go and clean up in a few hours. For now just think about rather you want to wear white or another color next week. Perhaps red, it compliments you" he muttered, walking out the door and leaving you alone to suffer in pain.. just as he always did.

[lurkingshan]

I've had all the different Love for Love's Sake interpretations rotating in my brain and kind of picking and choosing what I want to take from each of them, which is a very cool thing we can do with this show because it supports many different reads. I think for me I have landed on a few core ideas that I am stewing on the most:

Is Myungha in control of the game?

One thing I'm feeling pretty solid about is that my preferred interpretation is one where Myungha's consciousness is in control of the game. @jemmo and @biochemjess and @wen-kexing-apologist all offered up some thoughts about this that resonated with me and give me a framework that helps me make sense of the game glitches and server errors as manifestations of Myungha's emotional overwhelm and inability to accept love, rather than a creator forcing cruel choices and punishments on him. I like that idea a lot.

The initial assumption the show invites us to make is that the game world was created by the author based on his own novel, but I don't think that idea holds up as the show goes along. Because if this world we're in was truly based on the novel, I would expect we'd have seen some of it. Instead, we get a world that is populated by Myungha's own significant people--those he loved, those he lost, those he regretted--and no real hints about the novel world we're supposedly in. We never met the novel leads, for instance, or learned that Myungha had pre-existing knowledge of any other characters besides Yeowoon. So that tracks better with Myungha simply pulling his blorbo, the character he identified with most, into this afterlife world he created for himself.

Are Yeowoon and the romance "real" within this world of the show?

Which leads me to the next thing I'm stewing on. Is Yeowoon "real" in any meaningful sense within this universe? Is their relationship? Because functionally, Yeowoon is a mirror of Myungha and a stand in for his own self within the game world. Making Yeowoon happy becomes making Myungha happy. Loving Yeowoon is a form of self love for Myungha. One could argue that because the afterlife feels real to Myungha, it becomes real, and therefore everything that happens counts. But @troubled-mind mentioned in her post that she can't really latch onto the love story in this show because the reality is that Myungha has died and this afterlife is "wishful thinking." As an atheist, that resonates with me, and I think it's perhaps why I was not quite as emotionally moved by the romance ending as some of y'all seem to have been. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was beautiful. But I did not experience this as a happy ending to a love story in the way that some did. More than anything, I think I take it as a final bit of closure, that Myungha was able leave in peace having found some measure of love for himself in his final moments. I don't know that I am sold on the idea this means he is living a whole second life with Yeowoon.

So then, who is the author?

I have also been thinking a lot about who exactly this author is and how he's involved in this game world. @bengiyo suggested that he was someone who loved Myungha in life and created this world out of his own grief, and @twig-tea had suggested to me even before the show ended that the author was trying to help Myungha through the game. I see a logic to these reads, but I can't say either particularly resonated for me, in part because of what I mentioned above re: the cruelty of the game world if the errors are not self-inflicted by Myungha. @crapyouknowme suggested that the author is in fact a manifestation of the star Myungha wished upon, a loving presence that came to him because he yearned for it. I kind of like that idea personally, that this is another form of self-love Myungha willed into existence for himself. @dropthedemiurge wrote that in the end it seems all the text messages of love and yearning were from the author, and I do tend to agree. So under this interpretation, the author appears to Myungha and sends messages of love and guides him back into this game world with Yeowoon because Myungha wills these things for himself. I like that idea that Myungha is ultimately still the one in control of how he chooses to leave the world.

I think ultimately for me, I am arriving at seeing this story as less of a romance and more of a journey to self love and closure at the end of life. I do think there is a hopeful tone to the ending despite how dark the realities of Myungha's story are, and for me that hope is primarily based in his ability to love himself on his way out of this life.

[mysticheathenn]

How Can I Improve My Relationship With...?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading can be about anything which is why I placed .... instead of a specific subject. This can be your relationship with drugs/alcohol, friends, family, romance, or yourself. Remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

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Pile l: (Tarot: Ace of Cups, The Hermit, 7 of Swords (reversed), 8 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles)

What relationship needs to be improved? The Self

Your relationship with yourself needs to be improved pile l. This pile is split into two parts. One is more about the inner child while for the rest of you, it's about how you view and expect from yourselves. Those who resonate with the inner child you may hold onto a lot of guilt, shame, regret, and lack of forgiveness for yourself from past things you allowed from others or even from yourself. If this isn't past energy this is current energy (take what resonates, leave what doesn't). This is where the lines blur together because I see you wanting better for yourself but because of either lack of discipline, lack of self-awareness, or being honest with yourself, past hurt and traumas eating you up at night, you aren't allowing yourself to thrive. It's as if you are punishing yourself for the past or present energies telling yourself you don't deserve it because of xyz happened to you and you are unsure of how to move on from this energy when this is the only thing you know how to feel. I believe some of you have been dealing with these emotions for years and either aren't sure how to heal, don't want to heal because you are fearful of the healed version of yourself, or you want to sit in your pain a bit more to help keep others out. holding onto pain is the only way you can establish any kind of boundaries because with a wall so high how can anyone try to play you again when they can't even get past the wall you have up.

How to improve your relationship with yourself?

This is something you don't want to hear but the only thing you can do to have a better relationship with yourself is to heal. Let yourself enjoy and love life again. Stop punishing yourself for the things you allowed to happen in the past or current times. This is not the end of the world and you still deserve to have and experience great things, whether it's love, friends, etc. But first, you need to sit down and be honest with yourself and I'm hearing stop playing the victim and do something. Stop pitying yourself and using walls as a way to form boundaries and do the REAL work. Learn about yourself again. Heal your inner child. Know what you do and don't like. What you will and won't accept and this even goes for yourself. If you want to be THAT GIRL/GUY you need to put in the work. You want people to stop taking your kindness for granted, you need to put in the work to change your stance. Britney Spears - Work "You want a Lamborghini, sipping martini's look hot in a bikini you better work b*tch" Some of you don't realize how much power you hold over the life that you can create, have, and share with the people who will truly love you for you.

Pile ll: (Tarot: The Lovers, Page of Swords, 5 of Wands, The Emperor (reversed), 10 of Pentacles, Strength (reversed/bottom deck))

What relationship needs to be improved? Romantic Life

Pile ll.....I'm tired.....*sigh*

So...We're going to have this conversation yet again I see. Whoever these messages are for please listen this time. I'm tired. Your guides are tired. I'm ready to move on, and so are your guides, why aren't you. This person that is in your romantic field is not the love of your life. You know they are not the love of your life. they definitely know they are not it and the funny thing about all of this is they constantly show you that they don't care about you and you keep sticking around like Thanksgiving leftovers. Staying consistent and holding things down, but for what?? What are you getting out of this...d*ck and p*ssy is not this good to be staying around and being treated like you don't matter. Some of you are gaslighting yourself into believing things aren't bad because it either could be worse or because some days are good. I understand you may have a long history together but what does that have to do with self-respect, human decency, and love?? Your reading is short because....you already know what is up and your spirit team is too tired to even give me a full proper message.

How to improve your relationship with your romantic life?

Just like pile l, you may not want or even expect to hear this but improve the relationship with yourself. Love yourself. Have some self-respect enough to know that what you're going through isn't love, it's not worth it, and is a contradiction to what you want to have as your romantic life. A lot of you want the picket fence, the dog, the kids (or kidless), lifestyle with a partner you get excited about seeing coming home after a long day at work. So why aren't you actively seeking that?? It's because you don't love yourself enough to go after things that want you. Again this message is short because you already know what's up but just in case I have a video right here for you. Video 1 / Video 2

Pile lll:

What relationship needs to be improved? Everything Everywhere All at Once

You need to improve your discipline, drive, and motivation for going after the things you want out of life. For some, this message can be academic. You are having issues with deciding what you want to do with your life but at the same time, some of you know what you want to do something is holding you back. For some this can be a parent not wanting you to go after a certain career field, other of you it's the amount of work involved with what you truly want to do, and then the rest of you who are scared of either your potential or the fear of failure. No matter what your situation is academic, life, etc it's time to make a decision. It's time to take action. It's time to finally be able to sing the song Congratulations by Post Malone. Make a decision stand on business and don't second guess yourself.

How to improve your relationship with your life?

Do the thing. Be scared doing. Be thrilled doing it. Make a decision. Stand on Business. Stop fearing failure. Stop procrastinating. Stop fearing success. Stop listening to your parents (unless they are paying for your college then try and find a middle ground or go all independent), Focus. Stop relying on feelings and rely on mental to get things done. You will never always feel ready or want to do the things you want to do. Here's a video for you. Video 1

That's all I have for everyone. I hope you enjoyed this reading. Until next time, stay safe and blessed.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Of all the decisions Lambert had (and would) come to regret, this one definitely hadn't been on his list.

He and Aiden had run into Geralt, sat alongside a brunette man who could only be the bard they'd heard rumours about - if the way he was sitting a little too close to a Witcher than was deemed sensible and appeared to be talking Geralt's ear off was any indication. The white haired Witcher looked both panicked and relieved when he spotted them, calling them over and making hasty introductions in an attempt to draw the humans attention away from him for a few minutes.

Something which successfully resulted in Aiden and Jaskier acting as if they'd known one another for years rather than hours, the Cat more than happy to keep fielding the bard's questions (Lambert had resorted to Geralt's tried and tested method of grunts and growls when they hit double digits with no signs of stopping) and trade casual, friendly touches.

Although they agreed on most things, that was something they had never been able to see eye to eye on. Lambert tolerated touch at the best of times, the moments that weren't linked to punishment or training fleeting at best. Aiden on the other hand, thrived on it, constantly subconsciously latching onto the nearest body in one form or another. Unfortunately for Lambert, whenever Aiden decided to tag along for longer than a day or two, the nearest body was usually him. Even at night, he would migrate - moving his bed roll so they woke up nose to nose when they had started the night on opposite sides of the fire and on the occasions when they had needed to share a bed, many a time had Lambert woken up with Aiden wrapped around him like an octopus.

So naturally, when Jaskier and Aiden had come back from speaking to the innkeeper about rooms for the night - explaining that yes, they had two rooms but one of them was a double bed whilst the other was two singles - Geralt and Lambert had both simultaneously stated that they would take the two singles under the guise of wanting to catch up with one another properly, while Jaskier and Aiden - in Lambert's words - could "Do one anothers hair and fight about who gets to be the little spoon." (He'd meant the first part as a joke, but from the way Jaskier started eyeing up Aiden's curls....). It was the perfect solution.

Except it wasn't, as it turns out. Sleeping lightly anyway - thanks to being in a strange place and surrounded by fickle, unpredictable humans - Lambert's mind appeared to be a few steps behind and refusing to accept that just because it was night and Aiden wasn't in his line of sight didn't mean he was in danger. He was getting tired of being pulled out of his doze every time someone slammed a door to then be jerked into full wakefulness because the body he was expecting to be sharing (invading) his personal space wasn't there. From the looks of it Geralt wasn't faring much better, his eyes meeting Lambert's every time from the bed closest to the door.

It was the early hours of the morning when Geralt pulled himself from under the covers, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a resigned "Fuck me." before opening the door and blinking in surprise to see Aiden stood there, a fist raised ready to knock. The two of them exchanged a brief nod before Geralt slipped out of the room and Aiden inside.

Aiden didn't even give the now spare bed a cursory glance, making a bee line for Lambert who scootched closer to the wall without even making a show of grumbling as the Cat climbed in beside him, pressing himself along his back and tucking his knees behind Lambert's.

"What happened, bard too handsy even for you?" Lambert asked, only half joking as he felt something in him uncoil now that he could see the other was alright.

"No, but Geralt wasn't exaggerating when he said he never shuts up. He talks in his sleep. Plus, maybe I just missed my more prickly bed buddy."

"Don't ever call me that again."

"What would you prefer? Cuddle chum, snuggle monster? Not that you ever reciprocate that much, but a little embellishment never hurt-"

"Fucks sake. If I give you a cuddle will you shut the hell up?"

He didn't miss the little pleased noise Aiden made as he moved back just far enough for Lambert to be able to turn onto his back and lift an arm which Aiden immediately took advantage of, pressing his nose into Lambert's collar bone as he threw an arm across Lamberts chest, the Wolf feeling the slight purr as he awkwardly wrapped his arm around Aiden's shoulders in return.

"G'night, Prickles."

Lambert couldn't muster the energy to bite back on that one as he felt his eyes slip closed, not waking again until the innkeeper yelled at them through the door to either pay for another day or get out.

[xt1me]

A Dark Spirit in the Hood

This basically a precursor to smut I will never write.

Dan was contemplating life and death.

That is to say he was staring at almost empty drink in a Gotham night club wondering just how he had ended up there.

He had expected to be stuck in that thermos until end of time. Though he certainly had been planning to bust out and make everyone regret it if he ever got the slightest change.

And then the twerp had asked Clockwork if there was anything that he could do to help him. Help him, like he hadn't done everything in his power to destroy his past self and all he held dear.

And that meddling coot decided to do it.

It turned out since Dan was part of a timeline that no longer existed Clockwork had more free rein on him then other ghosts. Especially tapped as he was under his power. And while he was a full ghost, having been a hafa before had given the time ghost more options.

So he did something that Dan had considered the worst possible punishment imaginable.

He re-wound his personal time until his human half was alive again.

Ghosts don't change. Not easily anyway. They can grow some but for the most part they will stay much the same as when they first formed. The living are the complete opposite. They grow and change constantly. The core of a person might stay the same but an adult is much different from a teenager which will be different from a child. It's what made hafas so unusual. Danny pulling out his Ghostly Wail out of nowhere made more sense in hindsight.

Dan had murdered his human half and had never regretted it until it was suddenly slammed back into him. Getting locked into that form to restrict his powers wasn't nearly as bad in comparison.

Still being Clockwork's prisoner at the time he had no idea how long he raged after his new sentence was explained to him but it wasn't nearly as long as it would have been if he was still in ghost form. Somehow he just couldn't keep up the anger anymore. The less said about all the other emotions he went though the better but eventually he agreed to try and live a life in the living world and see if he could grow into a new person.

It was still a punishment however. He wouldn't get access to his ghostly form until he 'redeemed' himself. He wasn't exactly holding out hope for that to happen anytime soon. That wasn't to say he had none of his powers. It seemed that Clockwork (or possibly the twerp) wanted him to be healthy so he still had basic ghost powers if he tried. 

He couldn't help but feel a little grateful that the Ghost of Time had at least aged him up though a growth spurt. He didn't want to go back to being a twig while he sorted himself out.

So here he was, going to collage in Gotham.

(Getting his GED had felt like a punishment all on it's own.)

He was in Gotham because he wanted to be far away from Amity and Gotham had enough ambient ectoplasm to be comfortable. Not many ghosts. Gotham's many curses kept the ectoplasm tied up so it mostly just a few shades hanging around looking to fulfill their unfinished business. Easily avoided. Dan was not getting involved in any of that. He was no hero. Not ever again.

But having a living body again came with other challenges.

Unlike what some ghost hunters would tell you, ghosts could feel emotions. You could argue that ghosts were nothing but emotions. But those emotions were very different without a body. You could feel fear as a ghost but not feel you hair stand on end. You could feel anger without you skin heating up. You could laugh without getting short of breath.

You could certainly love as a spirit but lust could be a very bodily feeling.

Dan was now a young man in collage. He had a living body swimming with hormones. He was on his own without any responsibilities.

In short. He wanted to get laid.

Which is how how he ended up in a nightclub staring forlornly at an empty drink having just struck out with a pretty woman. Sure he had a bit of a ghostly aura that came out when he was 'ahem' distracted. But this was Gotham, surly that wasn't deal breaker in a city full of plant people and living clay and man eating crocodiles.

It wasn't like he was looking for a relationship or anything. Was it too much to ask for a one night stand?

He blamed Vlad.

Apparently consuming Vald's ghost half had more consequences then just a power boost. He was not Danny, and he was never going to be Danny again, but it was a bit unsettling to realise part of that was because he was a bit of Vald too.

He had opinions on wine now. He refused to watch football in case he ended up supporting the Packers. It stood to reason that he got that losers luck with women as well. (Not that the brat was any better really.)

Tuning away from his empty drink Dan scanned the nightclub. Absentmindedly checking out his options he contemplated whether it was even worth having another go or if he should go back to his room and brood. Maybe he was better off just admiring beauty from from afar. 

Ok no. 

That was getting too maudlin even for him. He'd laid waste to whole continents, surely he could find someone for good night out.

That's when he realised he'd been staring at someone. Someone that was making their way over to him.

Dark hair with an interesting shock of white on the front. The lights of the club made it difficult to tell if their eye's were blue or green. Tall and broad, wearing a well worn leather jacket over an obscenely tight t-shirt that showed off an impressively muscled physique. Incredibly thick thighs carried the man to his side like a stalking panther. 

The man stopped beside him with a smoldering look and a flirtatious "Hey".

And that's when Dan realised he had been checking out a guy.

Was he gay?! No, he was definitely still attracted to girls. He had some very explicit thought not 10 minutes ago. Was he attracted to guys as well? When did that happen?

"I'm bisexual!?!" he blurted.

"Did you just figure that out now?" The mans smirk faded into unfairly handsome amused smile.

Dan buried his face in his hands with a groan.

He was bisexual. How was he bisexual? Surely he would have figured out he liked guys before now. He'd always been straight hadn't he? He tried to think back. Danny was definitely straight. Was this something from Vlad? The hot guy was built like a tank. He was as wide as Dad. Was that Vlad's type? Was all his business about killing Jack just internalised homophobia? 

Oh. 

"That explains so much."

"Well congrats I guess."

Dan opened his fingers to look at the man that had just turned his worldview upside-down.

"I'm flattered," the man said still smiling.

Dan closed his eyes again with another groan.

The man even had a nice laugh.

/|\ ^._.^ /|\ ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ /|\ ^._.^ /|\

It was a quiet night so Jason was just doing some rounds in civvies. 

Chatting with people who may or may not know he was tangibly related to Red Hood got very different information then tracking them down in full gear, guns flashing.

He had just finished getting updates from a dealer in the club scene to make sure there weren't any new surprises going around. He'd liked this dealer's work since frankly they were better at checking id's then the bartenders were.

It wasn't looking like there was going to be any action tonight. He was contemplating whether he should suit up for a quick patrol or if he should head in for an early night when he noticed some at the bar staring at him.

Long black hair and a soul patch that just screamed collage student, the man was big in the way looked athletic rather that gym bro. It wasn't often that he came across some who looked as big as he was that weren't working as muscle for someone.

He decided to go over and give a flirtatious "Hey".

Either the guy was looking for a fight and hitting on him would skip all the posturing. Or the guy was checking him out, in which case maybe he'd have something better to do after all.

Which was why he was a bit shocked when the guy just blurted out,

"I'm bisexual?!"

Jason could see the exact moment when the guy relised he had said that out-loud and his smile went from flirty or a bit more natural.

"Did you just figure that out now?"

He watched bemused as the guy hid his face in his hands with a groan.

Jason was really glad he had skipped his guy panic. By the time he had relised his own sexual preferences he had been dead and resurrected and had dealt with ninjas, heroes, villains, monsters and mobsters and all manner of things so it felt dumb to make a big deal about it.

"That explains so much." the guy lamented.

Jason wasn't sure what to do. Did this count as someone coming out to him?

"Well congrats I guess."

He watched the guy peak out from between his fingers and very visibly check him out.

"I'm flattered,"Jason couldn't help but laugh when the guy groaned and hid behind his hands again.

"Listen," Jason decided to try and put the guy put of his misery, "Why don't I buy you a drink and you can either take it as a congratulations on coming out and I'll leave you alone..."

"Or?" the other man asked slowly lowering his hands.

"Or we can go somewhere a little quieter and you can discover just how bi you really are?"

Admittedly as pick-up lines go that was probably pretty lame but the other man looked interested so Jason figured it didn't matter.

"What if," the man said slowly as he looked as Jason more contemplatively, "I had a ... condition that meant my ... vibes where kind of ... eerie?"

 Jason tried to puzzle out that careful sentence. "Like some kind of empathy thing?"

"Yeeeess," The guy said uncertainly.

Jason leaned a little closer to lower his voice. "Are you a Meta?"

"Noooo," the man drew out looking even more uncertain.

Meta adjacent then at the very least.

Jason leaned back to look at him more as a vigilante then a potential pick-up.

The man was fit but not in a way that looked like he was used to fighting for his life. No weapons nor any odd things that might be able to become weapons. If he was trained it was in the bear minimum and he didn't carry himself like some who knew how to make his body a weapon. His teeth and ears were a bit pointed but that didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. No obvious effects from external powers and no hints of possible internal powers, though that didn't mean much.

Still, the guy wasn't running around in a costume monologuing so Jason had no problem giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Ok, hit me."

"What?"

"You vibes or whatever. Can you show me what it's like and I can tell you if it's a deal breaker." He smiled reassuringly, "I promise I wont go screaming even if it is."

The man eyed him warily but never the less relaxed a bit. Jason centered himself, preparing to use all the mental training he had learned just in case, and waited for whatever the man was going to do.

At first it didn't seem like the guy did anything. He was just looking at him. But Jason gradually became aware of a strange feeling.

When the guy had mentioned eerie vibes Jason's first though was it would be something like a mild version of Crane's fear toxin. Some kind of imposed feeling. But it was actually incredibly different.

Scarecrow's gas, for all that it was inflicted from outside, was very internal. It worked by makings a person own fear responses active in the body. It's what made it so hard to combat no matter how many times you came across it. The screaming hallucinations didn't help but even without that it was hard to manage when you own body was telling things were wrong.

This aura was very different, not just because it didn't invoke terror, but because it felt so obviously external.

Honestly it kind of felt like and empty hospital or an abandoned parking lot at 2 am. Odd for sure, and Jason could see how it might creep some people out, but as someone who regularly spent time in places he wasn't supposed to be it practically felt comfortable.

"Is that it?" he asked.

The man glared a little and the feeling increased. Not by much, just enough to give off hint of danger. Like the guy in front of him had wiped out a knife or something, despite not moving in any way. As someone who had been fighting muggers with knives since he was in short pants that hint of danger practically felt like an invitation.

"Yeah, I don't think they'll be any issue on my part," he said with a smile.

The man relaxed and the feel faded back to what it was before.

"Dan," he finally introduced himself.

"Jay," Jason grinned.

It looked like he'd be having an interesting night after all.

And then they went off have loads of sex that I will never write because I can't write smut.

Nether will talk about themselves and they wont ask questions but they'll still pick things up. Like Dan will figure out that Jason is probably a Rouge but he has no idea which one since he is trying to stay wilful ignorant of the whole hero scene. And Jason will learn that Dan's on some sort of mystic parole due to time shenanigans but figure it's not his business. Both of them appreciate that the other doesn't know anything about they respective pasts but they are completely chill with anything they let slip so they don't have to work to hide anything either.

[kai-anderson-whore]

Temptations part two (smut) (kit walker x fem nun reader)

Summary: you are a nun in braircliff and take a liking to kit but after getting caught it doesn't stop you for giving in to your sinful desires

Warnings: asylum, smut, oral (Kit Walker receiving), p in v sex, fingering, orgasm denial slightly, hydrotherapy, being sedated.

Word count: 1,5k

Taglist: @spill-the-t @iluwmycats @lili-tate @evanpeterswifeyy868 @jademunson @evanpetersfansblog @howtobesasha @lustforeverrrr @fand0mh03

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

It felt like forever when you were locked in your room. Feeling like you were going insane staring at these four walls for days upon days on end but the only thing, the only person in fact that kept you going was kit. The thought of seeing him again made the heat rise in places that got you here in the first place.

You wondered if kit regretted what happened. Sometimes you thought about the way his hands were on you during those lonely days in your room. Until you finally saw him in the common room a cigarette in hand talking with lana winters another patient who you knew was wrongfully placed here.

"Now sister y/n I'd be on my best behaviour if I were you" you heard sister jude from behind you. Her voice laced with amusement seeing how you were fixated on kit walker.

"Yes sister" you said getting back to work. But all you felt was kit's eyes on you like they were burning through your body. You gained the courage to turn your head to see kit was indeed staring at you those brown orbs drawing you into those memories again you had to turn your head away from him.

You hadn't spoke a word to kit all that day or for the next week too scared to incase sister jude would punish you again. Till you had to monitor him in the hydrotherapy room.

It was just you both alone again sister jude trusted you wouldn't do anything again after pleading for her forgiveness you finally gained her trust back. But what you didn't expect was too be trusted in the same room as kit so soon.

You turned your back to kit as he stripped out of his clothes but the redness creeping in your cheeks to think weeks ago you both were so close  and personal now you had to encumber yourself from the wild thoughts in your head. "You know sister you can look if you want" you could hear the smirk as kit spoke in such confidence.

"No I can't kit not after what happened last time" you said hearing the water as kit submerged himself inside it. "Last time you weren't complaining anything but" you finally turned around after hearing those words slip out his mouth. You mouth slack in shock at his words.

"It was a mistake kit and you know it, i gave into temptation once I'm not doing it again never" you told him but mostly yourself it took everything in you not to just pounce on him and let him have his way with you then and there. "Don't kid yourself sister I see the way you stare at me when you walk by. Pleading for me to fuck you like in the kitchen a few weeks ago" the wetness flooding your panties, swallowing a lump in your throat, squeezing your thighs together for friction.

"Just get on with your treatment walker okay it was a mistake" you stated now sat on the ledge of the bathtub on the opposite side. "If you say so sister" he smirked with a chuckle. The dull thob between your legs begging you to give in to your desires. You were alone with kit no guards you could do as you please.

You were too invested in your own thought you hadn't realised that kit was now out the tub infront of you. His hot breath fanning your face. You swallowed a lump in your throat a war in your mind if you should kiss him or not.

But you gave in to your desires once again. Crashing your lips on to his hungrily kit responded with just as much lust and hunger as you. He managed to slip his tongue in your mouth.Your hand reaching down stroking his erection. Kit groaned into your mouth a smirk formed on your lips knowing you were making him feel good even though you never touch a man there before.

You pulled away from kit's lips letting go of his erection. He gave you a confused look as you dropped to your knees with doe like innocent eyes. "You don't have to do that sister" kit tried to protest knowing your lack of experience. "But I want to kit you just tell me what to do and I'll do it" you said your hand stroking him earning a shaky breath kit loved the way your soft delicate hand felt on him.

You then placed a soft kiss on his tip making kit shiver under your touch. Parting your lips taking him in your mouth. You weren't sure what to do but you remembered what shelly used to say when she got off with one of the guards here. You swirled your tongue along the tip before hollowing your cheeks.

A small moan left kit's lips encouraging you more yet you still felt nervous. "Try and relax your mouth doll. Your doing great" kit grunted going deeper I'm your mouth. You tried to relax your throat your tongue pressed flat against his length. Your panties getting more soaked hearing him praise you.

You continued your movements feeling him twitch inside your mouth. "Keep going I'm so close" kit stated his hams on the back of your head more sighes and moans left him till his orgasm took over spilling ropes of salty whiteness on your tongue and the back of your throat.

You milked every drop unsure what to do with it apart from swallow. Kit pulled you up your body flushed against his. His skin glowed with slick sweat a smile on his lips. "You did so good sister wouldn't think it was your first time" he chuckled pressing his lips back on yours not caring if he could taste himself.

His hand roamed your body from your breasts all the way down under your attire and into your panties. "Fuck your soaked" he hissed collecting your arousal rubbing your clit. You gripped on to his arm your head resting on kit's chest. A moan escaped your lips as kit rubbed your clit harder before slipping a finger into you.

"Oh god" you moaned out bucking your hips into his hand more. Kit added another finger into you pumping them into your dripping wet core. You felt yourself getting closer to the edge clenching around kit's fingers signalling him that you were close.

Pressure building in the pit of your stomach till it was gone. You looked at kit with furrowed brows "why did you stop" you asked frustratingly you were so close to your release yet denied it.

Kit never said anything he just spun you around bending you over the ledge the tub. Buchimg your dress up pulling your panties down. With one swift motion he was inside your dripping wet pussy. You moaned at the sudden contact your hands gripped the edge of the tub as kit filled you up more.

You felt every inch of him deep inside you as he thrusted his grip tight on your hips. He place one hand on your shoulder pushing you back againt his length hitting deeper into you. This wasn't like the first time you both had been in such a way weeks prior. This time it was more harder and rough you loved it the way he made your eyes roll back, the way your hand gripped the tub till your knuckles turned white, the way he pushed your body back hitting you deeper with each thrust.

"Oh fuck" you moaned not caring what you said the pleasure to good to even think. You heard kit chuckle behind you his hand on your shoulder moved back on your hip. Your body jolting feeling each thrust he gave you like electricity through your body. You couldn't get enough already feeling close to the edge.

"Kit I'm close" you warned your moans got louder. You tried to silence yourself by biting your lip so you both wouldn't get caught but it was hard to when it felt so good. "Me too" he said going faster chasing both your highs. You felt that knot in your stomach beginning to untie till you let go over kit's cock.

A loud moan escaped your lips as your body shook. Letting go over kit's cock your orgasm ripped through you. Your nails dug in to the porcelain tub, eyes rolling back mouth hung open. Kit kept thrusting close to his own orgasm till his hips snapped still spilling his seed into you.

Milking you both through your orgasms you calmed down. Panting heavily your legs like jelly. Kit pulled out of you making you whimper at the loss of contact. "Fuck sister that was better then anything I ever had" he panted shoving his clothes back on as you fixed yourself.

"That was amazing Kit" you giggled straightening out your dress. Your legs shook as you tried to steady yourself. Kit grabbing your hips steadying you. "You good there sister?" He asked with a sly smirk on his lips knowing that he made you a mess like this. "I'm fine kit honest just you fucked me that good" you giggled.

"I never heard you cuss before sister y/n" he chuckled with furrowed brows. You shrugged your shoulders not bothering. "I think I sinned to much now to bother about cussing kit" you said leaving the hydrotherapy room as kit followed suit.

[amysgiantbees]

Dead Boy Detectives Cat King Spoilers

I ADORE the Cat King and I'm really fascinated by him and I just love how detailed everything about him is.

A few thoughts on him...

I love that he's living at Empire fish company to harken to his royal status.

I adore the head-cannon that he's Desire's child. With his golden eyes that remain no matter his form. Desire's actor even tweeted about it!

He asked which boy put the spell on his cat. Also, the cat's comment in the murder house ep that "the Cat king won't like this" and the implied rest of that sentence I feel is "when he finds out, when we report back." But at the end of the Dragons ep we can see the cat's eyes glow, implying he's magically looking through them. I know I'm assuming a lot but he seems to let the cats do their thing most of the time and report to him if they feel like it. It might even be a two way thing where they allow him to look through their eyes, he can't force it. I just think it's interesting what powers he has. Also it's interesting how his relationship with the cats work. Knowing cats, they have to want to report back. They don't just do it out of obligation. So, I'd like to think he's a pretty decent ruler. Or even my head-cannon that he doesn't really rule them more protects and acts as their go between, between themselves and other creatures.

His powers so far: Personal resurrection. Teleportation (but maybe just to pocket dimensions). Shapeshifting. Binding spells or just magic in general much like Edwin can practice magic from books. All very indirect kinds of magic which really suit his trickster spirit vibes.

I love that his loneliness is tied in to almost every interaction he has with Edwin. From insisting that he likes to keep things consensual then putting a spell that forces them to be closer. To watching out for/stalking Edwin with his cats. To forcing him to tell the truth but only a little bit in a kind of desperate attempt to get Edwin to see he cares about him and embraces him for who he is. Edwin calling him lonely really doesn't come from nowhere to humanize him which I love. It's great that even the minor character's motivations are well thought through in the show.

I feel like he took to Edwin so quick possibly just out of pure desire. But also people love to say animals are great judges of character, especially cats, they're discerning. So I love the idea that even if Thomas was repressing the fact that he is lonely a part of him knew it and recognized that loneliness in Edwin. As well as what his actor's mentioned in interviews that Thomas is so free and has so few inhibitions and thus just enjoys messing with stuffy old Edwin so much.

Me enjoying Thomas' moral greyness does not mean I'm condoning his behaivour. But it certainly doesn't bother me for multiple reasons. Firstly, his actor is SO charismatic. It really does make a difference that he's just SO fun to watch. Also, not that I've never been harassed by a queer guy before, but him being not straight does help beat the creep vibes in my mind. Also, the way that he will push a boundary but say or do something that softens what he's done helps. Like ranting and raving in the woods that Edwin will regret this but instead continuing to try to protect him from Esther. I think he clearly cares enough about Edwin that if Edwin was REALLY that uninterested in him and uncomfortable he would of just have given him a different punishment. Also, it's a fair punishment. He binds Edwin just like Edwin bound that cat. He's an ambiguous trickster fantasy creature, I'm willing to let a lot slide due to the fact that he clearly has an important role in the story and people's lives as a disrupting and mischievous influence.

I also am not particularly bothered by any potential creepiness from the Cat King as the way in interviews everyone talks about him is that he had a very specific role to play. He was made to be Edwin's sexual awakening. Yes he could have just been a guy that like always seems to be obliviously shirtless going on runs or something like that and it would have been less problematic. But, for one, I'm sure Edwin's seen that before and just looks away when it happens. Two, Edwin is SO repressed I think it makes a lot of narrative sense that he needs someone SO pushy and desperate in return to wake him up. And also he then contrasts against the purity and sweetness of Edwin's love for Charles. I don't see this as condoning this behaivour because real people aren't deeply repressed Edwardian ghosts that couldn't access therapy even if they wanted to on account of being dead.

Furthermore, as I'm sure many people have seen in recent popular discourses media does not need to be morally pure. I don't think that should be a get out of jail free card though. Or that creatives should be allowed to make whatever offensive shit they want and then say but "it's art" or "it's satire". Context matters. It's important how you frame something. And sure the Cat King is not punished for his bad behaivour but he is framed in such a way that I feel like he is not supported for it either. He doesn't get "rewarded" with Edwin in the end. He's not even guaranteed to have his company in even a platonic way since they're heading back to London and he, presumably, has to stay in his kingdom (he calls himself A cat king so I'm assuming there's others elsewhere so he probably can't go to London and intrude on another's territory. Or maybe he's A cat king in that there's just one at a time but there's a history of them).

Also, I've seen some people be uncomfortable at the age gap between Edwin and the Cat King, but to quote one of my favourite YouTubers Kennie J.D. "They're brooding hot 25 year old teenagers". They're both actors in their 20's. They could both theoretically be playing immortals frozen in their teens. I get that Thomas looks older but none of them look like teens. Edwin's actor has a 5 o'clock shadow. The most info we get about Thomas' age that he's meant to be appearing as is that he says "he's not a daddy type" according to him. Admittedly his actor says that when he was imagining a backstory for him part it was that he thought he and Esther were ex's. So that does lend to the idea of him being frozen as an adult. So I'd definitely say it's a grey area. But also people arguing it's not weird because they're all kind of ageless anyway, I do disagree with. As a TikToker, Babbity Kate, I like pointed out just because Edward is over 100 years old doesn't mean Bella dating him isn't less weird than her dating Carlisle. There's a difference, it matter's a person's maturity.

I just hope we get a Season 2 and the Cat King sticks around for it. Hope Edwin misses him XD

Other people with great takes on him: https://www.tumblr.com/weareinastormoffuck/749853517024559104?source=share

[no-gram]

ACT1 No Longer Human

There are two creatures in the box yard.

Humans and aliens who cannot imitate humans.

They must live humbly as shadows and losers, accepting their own misery and badness, and be thankful that they are not being looked down upon by humans. They are weak bodies that even cotton can hurt.

I think it is strange that there are aliens on earth. I even think aliens deserve to be eliminated.

However, as a human being, I have to protect stupid creatures.

But why are there aliens in this box garden?

Didn't the alien's parents think it was strange? There is a saying that the right person is in the right place.

Forcing them to imitate human beings is not very nice, but it's ridiculous.

To be alive is a terrible thing. Chains are tangled everywhere, and if you move an inch, blood spurts out.

And yet they go to the trouble of tying themselves up. Why don't they just go back to their own planet?

I felt the same way about you.

I wondered why you are here, if you can't imitate humans.

The encounter was simple. You are an alien, and yet here you are.

That's disgusting. I thought, “You can't even imitate a human being.

But you were worth it.

Just having you next to me made people see me as a good person. You were a trophy.

I thought so.

But one thing has gone wrong.

Maybe you and the humans thought I was an all-powerful god.

Humans would have thought I could take care of the aliens, and you forgot to thank me.

Next, something went wrong again.

You gradually took on human form. And you forgot your position.

Come to think of it, you couldn't imitate humans, yet you were very particular.

In fact, you couldn't hide your obsession because you couldn't imitate humans, could you?

You are a poor alien.

”I have an idea.”

You are an alien, so what are you doing here?

The humans in this box yard used to look at you with pity. Now they are treating you like a god?

You were surrounded by humans, smiling with a grin and a creepy look on your face.

Once I tried to correct the first difference.

”You are arrogant, are you happy to take advantage of me?”

”I'm sorry.”

I wasn't sure if you felt bad, but okay. That's just the way it was.

You are good, you have talent.

It's not fair, you are not human, so you are recognized by many people just because you can draw a little.

But it would be strange if you weren't recognized.

That's how beautiful you were as you painted in the sting of the setting sun.

I can't stand your arrogance any longer, you'll see. You cannot live without me. You'll regret it, I'm sure.

The world will not forgive.

“It's not the world. “It's not the world, it's you who won't forgive me.”

If you do that, the world will punish you.

“It's not the world. It's you, isn't it?

The world will bury you now.

“It's not the world. You're the one who buried xxx.

”You are arrogant, are you happy to take advantage of me?”

”I'm sorry.”

“Aliens.”

We may think we are the best of friends, but we don't understand each other, we may see each other in the wrong light, we may think we are best friends, and when the other person dies, we may cry and read condolences.

No, I don't even recognize the other person's voice anymore.

I have lived a lifetime of shame. I have no idea what human life is like for me now.

Human, disqualified. I am no longer fully human.

No, no, it was aliens.

My phone ran out of charge.

[k-s-morgan]

Hello!!! We are all aware that Abigail reminded Hannibal of his sister, however, what about Will? Is it possible that Hannibal, interacting with Will Graham, sees him as his "sister", and lives through a childhood trauma?. Namely: after a traumatic event in Hannibal's childhood, throughout his life before Will, he lives in a stage of repression: the automatic suppression of any emotions, the elevation of walls and going into art to fill the void inside himself. However, after the very first meeting with Will, his trauma, like a kind of trigger, awoke and the process began to complete the task of "healing the vulnerability, the hole formed as a result of a cruel experience"); related to his sister (closing the gestalt). What do you think about this theory? Is it possible for events to develop in which Hannibal in the first season, after meeting with Will, first of all sought to close this Gestalt by linking his life with someone similar to him and understanding?

Hi! I think this reading is definitely possible because in the books, Hannibal attempts to turn Clarice into Mischa at first, so the foundation for it is there. There are also his words about dropping the tea cup and waiting for it to gather itself together - their meaning is highly debatable, though.

Personally, I think the show's version of him is more well-adjusted and less attached to his past. I don't think our Hannibal was ever looking for his sister in anything or anyone, not even Abigail, and definitely not Will.

He mentioned that Abigail reminded him of Mischa, he cared about her, but in the end, his feelings for her paled in comparison to what he felt for Will. He killed Abigail as a punishment for him, and without Will in the picture, without Hannibal's sudden idea and wish to have a family with him, he probably would have never felt the need to save Abigail at all. She was always secondary to his desires. Mischa, on the other hand, was a priority. He'd never give up on her.

When discussing Mischa with Will, Hannibal makes it clear she's dead - to me, he sounds regretful and wistful, but not tormented or agonizing over it. It feels like he survived this loss, like he was able to move on from it. At the start of the show, before meeting Will, he seems perfectly content and genuinely enjoying his life. He realizes he wants more from it only after meeting Will, but since his feelings toward him are romantic and he treats him in a very specific and unique way, I don't think he makes any association with Mischa. Maybe only in the sense that for the first time after losing her, he feels such an urgent need to have a family, realizes that he's been lonely without even noticing it before.

In the books, Hannibal seems to be confused by love, so when he fell in love with Clarice, I can see how in his mind, it made her similar to Mischa, the only person he knew how to love before that. So he wanted to make them one. But in the show, Hannibal seems much more stable and attuned to his feelings, so I think he clearly distinguished between Will, Mischa, and Abigail.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

This convo idea came to me. Not seen or stated in convo but, they are in Radio Guard Al's radio tower while he fiddles with his equipment for a broadcast. (Warning from maybe semi graphic description of murder?)

HS!Alastor: So uh asking a totally hypothetical question, one TOOOTALLY not based on any forms of personal experience or what hahahah BUT! Like, if you did, which you know, who knows, maybe you did, maybe you didn't but..uh..umm, again hypothetical, did you ever kill a parent? Preferably, your dad? Again all hypothetical because pfff, who would-

Radio Guard!Al: Oh yeah I did. Not as a child though. It happened after my mother lost her battle against tuberculosis. Nasty thing, attacked the poor things lungs until all that came out of her was a wheeze.

HS!Alastor: Did you not live with him as a child? If you uh, don't mind me asking of course. You can just ignore if this gets too personal hahaha.

Radio Guard!Al:....I did. He walked out on me and my ma when I was...15 or 16? Surprise he didn't do it sooner, the fuc- //clears thorat

Radio Guard!Al: He was...a horrible man. A power hunger monster who seemed the thrive when people were scare of him. A glutton and a hag. He would yell to get his point across and if not that he resorted to threats. You name it, he probably threaten it. All to keep us under his thumb. He find any reason to punish. Any. //deep breath

Radio Guard!Al: But like I said, he walked out when I was old enough I guess. Heard years later he became a born against Christian, HAH. Just more ways to make people fear him I guess, instead of threats with his fist, it was threats of God. Not like his precious Lord did much for him, not after I found him. Fucker didn't even recognize me! I think every higher power I got all of my mother's looks and only the bastard's hair color when I was alive. He didn't even recognize me, not at first, but when he did it was already too late as he was already grasping for air in the baptism water. Didn't kill him at first or maybe it did, but I was so blinded by pent of rage from the years of tyranny I experienced all I could see was red. Took the nearest object...think it was..the chalice you drink wine from and just whaled on him. Didn't stop until the smell of copper hit my nose and I look down and his head was completely caved in. //coughs

Radio Guard!Al: Apologizes, apologizes. I didn't mean to get into too much detail on myself and my fatherly kill. You asked a simple, if not, curious, question and I went a bit too detail. Will add to wrap this up by saying I was lucky enough to be allowed to kill him more than once as you can guess he was sent to hell. So I am one of the few who can brag and say I killed him twice ahah! I do hope that answer you question.

HS!Al: Y-yeah it does, but I have one more, if that is alright...

Radio Guard!Al: Of course! Fire away my little me.

HS!Al: Do...do you regret it? Killing him?

Radio Guard!Al: Regret implies I felt anything towards that monster. The only thing I regret is drawing out his death more, so it may be as torturous and as slow as he deserved.

HS!Al: O-oh,,,

Radio Guard!Al: I believe I hear your Vox calling for you. I do very much apologize if I spook you, but if I may, can I leave you with a bit of advice?

HS!Al: Uh,,,sure! As you said, fire away

Radio Guard!Al: Do not feel like you need to shed tears for that monster nor feel pity towards the what ifs on what he could have been. Men like him, even if given the right tools to change, never will, not unless they know it will benefit them. They are selfish to their cores, and the world is better off without them. You can pity them, you can be anger at them, it's only human. But remember the pain they infected onto you so your heart never tricks you into believing you regret it, because that will only hurt you more in the long run.

Radio Guard!Al: And remember, you have a better head on your shoulders than the most of us. You are nothing like him nor like us, you will go far, child. You will burn brighter than the stars themself. Now run along, don't need your Voxxy worrying into an early hellish grave over ya!

HS!Al: Y-yeah,, yeah! Um thank-you, bye-bye //runs off

Radio Guard!Al, watching him run off: Maybe I have grown soft, or maybe I have just grown fond of the local youth as my time as a stand-in father, but I'm rooting for you. And please...do not end up like any of us,,,

well, this ended angsty oop -⚔️ anon

That was extremely painful but also probably something HS!Alastor needed to hear, harsh but comforting at the same time in its own way