#like I don’t even care anymore dude just do it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
fruitjoos · 18 hours ago
Text
what are you thankful for?
Tumblr media
pairing: patrick zweig x reader
contains: the normal angst, mentions of cheating
note: that one holiday special ep where the couple argues for the entire duration and realizes they aren’t as happy with each other as they think lol
You both walked through the door, fresh from dinner at the Donaldsons’. You hated how pretentious that sounded—‘dinner at the Donaldsons’. Worse, you wished you’d thought to turn the heat on before you left. Now the cold air creeping through the drafty windows painfully pricked at your skin.
Patrick let out a frustrated sigh behind you, but you ignored it. The click of your heels rippling on the hardwood as you made your way to the thermostat in the den before heading for the bedroom.
“So, we’re just gonna pretend like everything’s fine?” Patrick called after you, his voice pressing. “Like you didn’t notice it?”
He’d been picking at this since you left dinner, his words distinct the second his seatbelt clicked into place. The drive home had been a gauntlet of accusations—did you remember what he said to you during dinner? Did you even care? It wasn’t that you hadn’t been listening; it was just simply a lot. Too many questions, too much wine, too much of whatever was emerging slowly.
You sighed, unclasping your earrings as you stood by the dresser. “Notice what, Patrick?”
“Dude, don’t do that.” He followed you into the bedroom, standing just inside the doorway, his hands on his hips. “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
You caught his reflection in the mirror as you placed your earrings down, his face knotted up, fighting the urge to spill whatever bitterness he was holding.
“I really don’t have the energy for this right now,” you muttered, reaching behind you to unzip your dress.
Patrick scoffed, stepping forward. “Of course you don’t. Convenient, isn’t it? You didn’t have the energy to sit through dinner without staring at Art like he hung the damn moon either.”
Your hands froze on the zipper. “I was not—”
“You were,” he cut you off, his voice rising. “The way you were looking at him. Laughing at his stupid jokes. You don’t even laugh like that with me anymore.”
You turned to face him, dress half unzipped, the tension already fraying your patience. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” His arms crossed, his tone sharper now. “And at the table—when I reached for your hand? You pulled away. What was that about?”
You laugh, almost in disbelief, kicking off your heels. “That's what this is about? I let go of your hand? You’re mad over that?”
“It’s not just that, and you know it.” His voice was much louder now, breaking slightly. “It’s everything. You’re distant, distracted—”
“Oh my God,” you interrupted, shaking your head as you walked toward the bathroom. “You’re such a crybaby. All this over me not holding your hand? Grow up, Patrick.”
“Crybaby?” He followed you, his voice cracking with frustration. “You think this is some game? You think I’m just being dramatic?”
You grabbed your face wash, intentionally avoiding his gaze. “I think you’re looking for a fight, and I’m not giving you one.”
“You already are,” he responded abruptly. “Every time you brush me off like this, every time you act like I’m the problem for noticing—”
“Noticing what?” You whirled around, water dripping from your hands. “That I didn’t laugh at your jokes? That I didn’t hold your hand? God forbid I exist for five minutes without catering to your fragile ego.”
His jaw clenched, his face flushing. “It’s not about my ego. It’s about respect. About the fact that I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, but half the time, I feel like I’m just there.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you said, brushing past him to grab a towel. “You’re twisting this into something it’s not.”
“Am I?” His voice followed you as you moved back to the bedroom, his frustration growing with every step. “Tell me I’m wrong, then. Tell me you weren’t staring at Art tonight like you wished you were with him instead of me.”
You froze, towel twisted in your hands. “You’re out of your mind.”
“Tell me.” He stepped closer, his voice low and insistent.
“Enough, Patrick.” You tossed the towel onto the bed, your movements conscious. “And I’m done with this conversation.”
“Well, I’m not!” he shouted, and the force of it filled the room. “Because this is what you do. Every single time. You brush me off, call me dramatic, and then go on like nothing’s wrong.”
You turned to him, your patience snapping. “What do you want from me? An apology? Fine. I’m sorry I didn’t perform some perfect version of a girlfriend for you at dinner tonight. Happy now?”
“No, I’m not happy!” His fists closed, his voice bare. “Because it’s not just tonight. It’s everything. I’m here fighting for us and you’re just letting everything slip away.”
For a moment, the room fell silent, his words sinking in. You stared at him, your heart thumping loud inside your chest.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you said quietly.
He shook his head, the fight draining from his posture. “I just want to feel like you still care.”
You didn’t answer, and after a minute, he turned and left the room.
When the door shut behind him, it didn’t slam. But the sound of it carried louder than anything else.
You sank onto the bed, hands trembling as you pressed them to your face. Somewhere in the apartment, a door slammed.
You stayed there, not moving, letting the blaring silence surround you. The fight replayed in your mind, each word as clear as it had been when screamed, each accusation sticking the landing.
You thought it was over. You thought the slammed door was his way of drawing the line, of letting the tension dissipate somewhere else in the apartment. But then you heard his footsteps again, heading back toward the bedroom.
You didn’t look up when he stopped in the doorway.
You slipped your rings off, placing them carefully into the gold bowl on your nightstand.
Patrick lingered, his presence evident as you tugged your sleep mask into place. The room was faint except for the warm radiance of his own bedside lamp.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered.
You didn’t answer, refusing to rise to the bait.
He let out an angered breath, the tension in him coiling tighter. And then, like a wire snapping under too much pressure, he said, “Maybe I should’ve just slept with Tashi when she asked me to.”
Slowly, you pushed the sleep mask back up, sitting up on your elbows, just enough to meet his gaze. “What the hell did you just say?”
“You heard me.” He crossed his arms, the only readable expression being the bitterness that twisted his mouth. “Maybe I should’ve. At least then, I wouldn’t feel like this—like I’m invisible to the person who’s supposed to care the most.”
Your jaw tightened as you straightened fully. “You’re insane. Trying to make me jealous over something that didn’t even happen? What’s the point, Patrick? What are you trying to prove?”
“I’m not trying to prove anything,” he said, stepping closer, his tone defensive but laced with s bit of vulnerability. “I’m just saying maybe I wouldn’t feel like I’m begging for scraps of your attention if I had someone who actually gave a damn.”
You felt his words, the intention behind them, but you refused to let it show. “If you think sleeping with Tashi would’ve solved anything, then maybe you should’ve. Rewrite history if it makes you feel better.”
He let out a sour chuckle. “You don’t even care, do you? You’re sitting here acting like none of this matters, like I’m just making this up.”
“Because you are,” you bit back. “You’re picking a fight over something that didn’t happen, over a feeling you can’t even explain. If cheating would’ve fixed your issues, then maybe the problem isn’t me.”
“Don’t twist this,” he said, his voice cracking at the edges. “You know that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?” You swung your legs off the bed, arms crossed. “That you’re so desperate for attention, you’d throw this in my face just to hurt me? Congratulations. It worked.”
His anger faltered, replaced by regret. “I’m drowning here. And you don’t care. You never care.”
You stood your ground, unwilling to give an inch. “You want me to care? Then stop acting like a child throwing tantrums to get a reaction.”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might argue. Instead, he shook his head, his shoulders slumping.
“Forget it,” he muttered, voice low, almost resigned. He turned, grabbing a pillow from the bed, and walked out.
From the hallway, his voice came again, quieter this time but still carrying desperately. “I don’t know why you do this. You act like nothing I feel matters. Like it’s all just a joke to you.”
You let out a long breath, finally dropping your hands from your face. “Patrick,” you said, softer now, but tired.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He didn’t respond, his silhouette disappearing into the living room as he tossed the pillow onto the couch.
65 notes · View notes
rewiringtoheal · 3 days ago
Text
This Pain Is Temporary
Tumblr media
Anna x Fem!Reader
He's Just Not That Into You AU
Summary: I was watching this movie and had a lot of what if questions. What if the main cast actually all communicated with each other? What if Anna actually had some character development? What if Reader was a variation of a female Conor Barry who got a clue? And how would these differences lead to Anna genuinely falling in love with Reader.
warnings: very slowburn, angst, worse before better, eventual fluff.
You feel used. This person that you love…loved?? You aren’t really sure anymore of your feelings toward Anna. It was never simple with her. And truthfully, you wish you could go back to your blissful ignorance.
 You had been so thrilled when she told you she was finally ready to take the next step with you. A real relationship with the girl of your dreams. Having your heartfelt love confession be returned and then making love for hours was more than you ever could have hoped for. 
You now knew it was all a lie. And that Anna was a very skilled actor. In your excitement you had raced home the next morning to tell your best buddy Alex and his new girlfriend GiGi the news. After showing them a picture of Anna and you. The night of bliss quickly turned sour; GiGi hesitantly told you that Anna was the same woman that had a very recent affair with her best friend's husband. And everything the past few months had started to make sense. How Anna would constantly ignore your calls but somehow always be available when she needed her emotional needs met. And finding out that the only reason she wanted a relationship with you was because the man of her dreams wouldn’t leave his wife was heartbreaking. How could you be so stupid? And how could you be so blind to the type of person Anna really was.
You felt a hand squeezing your knee bringing you back to the world around you. You  see GiGi’s hand retreating and her eyes filled with sorrow. You muster up a strained smile.
“Well, at least I had my dream girl for a moment even if it wasn’t real. Looking back, I kinda see now that she treated me like shit but I was so lost in her. I can’t believe I was so blind to her selfishness. And now this…I don’t think I ever really knew her at all,” you say somberly.  
Alex let out a deep sigh, “Dude I don’t really know what to say. She did really shitty things but maybe she's not a shitty person. The moments you had together weren’t all fake. The parts of herself she showed you are probably real. And you can love those parts and still be hurt that she lied about her feelings for you.”
You give a weak chuckle, “You’re right..but I don’t know how to deal with this. I do still love her even if she used me. I see it so clearly now. I’m the back up plan. The person she really wanted hurt her so she chose the safe option.”
Gigi looked at you, her eyes filling with sorrow, “Sometimes people don’t know what they have until it's gone. She is making awful decisions and it’s hurting everyone around her. Deal with this by loving yourself first. I know it's hard but she doesn’t appreciate you. And only wants you when she has no one else.”
That was hard to hear but Gigi was right. You need to take care of yourself. For months you have been putting all of your energy into Anna. Being there for her emotionally, picking up her dry cleaning, giving her rides, and loving her to the best of your ability. All to realize that she never really cared about you, not even as a friend. A friend wouldn’t play with your feelings like this.  
You continue to chat with your friends for a little while longer. Eventually you grow too sad and too tired to keep up the conversation. You excuse yourself for the night and head up to your bedroom. Not in the mood to do your night time routine you just chuck off your clothes, put your cellphone on your night stand and cuddle under the covers. 
Your mind keeps turning in circles as you lay there. The happiness you had felt earlier today has turned into a deep sadness. And for the first time since Gigi told you about Anna you allow yourself to cry. As silent tears move down the contours of your face you burrow into your pillow; just praying to yourself that you can fall asleep. Anything to stop the pain. 
You briefly wonder if Gigi’s friend Janine is in the same state you are right now. You know more than likely she is worse off than you. Janine's entire life is in shambles. Her husband is awful no doubt about it but you just can’t wrap your head around Anna getting involved with a married man. Nothing makes sense anymore but maybe you never had a clue to begin with.
69 notes · View notes
chibi-scone · 1 year ago
Text
So that new Rhys Darby interview about s3 ….💀
#SO FUNNY#straight up saying that stede would be unhappy with the inn and leave Ed’s ass to go back to the crew ….y’all were so back#that the inn is a fantasy not meant to last and the British would be after their ass#like Ik djenks already said that the inn wouldn’t last but#put next to him also saying. that the inn is meant to be a happy ending + taika saying Ed and stedes ending is good#and he wants to leave it there#girl …..#just genuinely so funny#that s3 could go full historically accurate and kill both of them at the end#like I don’t even care anymore dude just do it#after how shitty their fans made us feel for being upset about Izzy#I would feel so fucking vindicated#no guys don’t you get it it’s a good ending for them :)) and it’s not bad gay rep to kill your main gay couple#because there’s other queer couples in the show!! stop crying you media illiterate babies they’re pirates pirates die :)))#I can taste it already#this is gonna be tbd cause wtv I just wanted to shoot the shit a little about it uh yeah#ofmd critical#honestly if they kill Ed and stede at the end of s3 that might just be what gets me back into the show a little#like I don’t really want to rewatch the show at this point but if it all goes down the gutter in the end ?#that’s different#it’s like ordering food and being served mouldy garbage vs willingly jumping into a dumpster#everytime a new interview or smtg comes out I’m like 🫣#it’s reaching spn levels of ‘what now’
20 notes · View notes
babyfairy · 9 months ago
Text
it takes about 5 seconds of thinking about my personal life before i start to cry now i think that’s really cool and good. fun too
15 notes · View notes
okcoolthanks · 1 month ago
Text
It’s getting bad again <- losing reasons to go to school
3 notes · View notes
thefaultinoursprinkles · 1 year ago
Text
how to explain that I’m dying and have too much going on in my personal life to have such a stressful job without sharing unnecessary details with my boss that may come back to bite me later on
7 notes · View notes
hellfireeddiemunson · 1 year ago
Text
i should really just go to sleep but i don’t want toooooo i don’t want to wake up and go to work 😭😭😭😭😭
#i wish i could have a month off of work no consequences and i still got money for it i just wanna be able to do whatever i want and have#free time and i don’t want to have to work this kuchhhhh i’m sick of it and i’m SO TIRED IN THE MORNING it makes it absolute HELL to try to#get to work on time i’m late every single day and have been for MONTHS bc my schedule is exhausting for someone who can’t keep a consistent#and GOOD sleep schedule i just wanna stay up late sometimes and sleep early other times but i work the same time all of the time so i’m just#running off not enough sleep EVER and have to take naps if i even CAN and then that in turn fucks up the time i’ll sleep after that#like i literally CANNOT win here i don’t get what i’m supposed to do i don’t want to do it anymore dude#i wish at. LEAST i could go in like a half an hour later i genuinely think i wouldn’t be late everday but waking up between 6-7 is HARD and#the earlier i wake up the more time i need to try to be awake but the later i wake up the more i scramble and fight to try and get ready#fast enough like even THAT i can’t get down right !!!!!! i just want to be able to go to work on time and not have anxiety about it everyday#my boss clearly doesn’t care enough and that’s fine i should be relieved to know she just cares that i show up and do my shift but like i#just don’t know dude i’m just going on and on and i need to shut up#i’m going to smoke and go to bed soon i guess???? idk i’ll be on here til i do tho
3 notes · View notes
oglegoggle · 2 years ago
Text
Bleh I know that everyone is busy today with like their families and loves and shit so giving me attention isn’t really the top of the priority list but fuck…. I wish no much I were at the top of someone’s priority list. Like genuinely not “I’m gonna tell you you’re the most important person in my life every day until something catastrophic happens that permanently damages the fuck out of you and I have to step up and make difficult choices for your care then I’m telling you you rank more like 6 or 7 in my list of priorities but I will still tell you you’re my favorite while I actively fucking abandon you.”
Can still hear my fathers voice ringing in my head telling me that no matter how much I give, no matter how much I try, I will never be the first priority in someone’s life. Everyone will always have somebody or some obligation that means more to them than I do. And unfortunately as it were uhhhhhhh that’s never exactly been disproven.
#this is goggles#just like shit dude…. I wish somebody actually meant it when they told me I’m the most important thing to them#ain’t happened from parents ain’t happened from partners#I just like don’t get why I’m so disposable to people???#I know that I have weird and difficult needs and I try to minimize them as much as possible but like shit dude…..#and people will tell me that they will care for my weird and difficult needs until they tear their ugly heads in such a way that can’t be#stuffed back into the repression trunk anymore and they actually have to be dealt with#and nobody will deal with them and I just feel so disposable and insignificant#I left my entire life behind and it hurts so much but at least I won’t be hurt by the same set of morons over and over and over again#who will tell me they love me and care for me until I’ve endured a harsh trauma caused by their abuse of me#then I’m not so important their husband comes first their family comes first their other partners come first#their actual priorities come first and I’m left with that ringing voice in my head#nothing I ever do will warrant being the first priority in someone’s life and I just have to accept that#fuckin I can treat others as disposable too 😒 I’m throwing away anyone who hurts me or even grates on me slightly at the first occurrence#I don’t fucking care I am not going to tolerate this shit anymore#since I’m disposable in everyone else’s life everyone else is disposable to me just the same#I’m trying to not let misanthropy take hold of me but just fuckin…. I do not care. Everyoje is disposable to me.#I’ll throw anyone away before they even get the chance to damage me and throw me away#if this upsets you fuck you im throwing you away too#I’ll leave the next city and the one after that and the one after that too#I’m a fuckin manic pixie dream? okay I’m here in your life for three months and I’m gone and you’re going to wistfully think of me forever#I’ll be the goddamn romantic fling of your life and I’ll disappear before I can get hurt and that will be it
2 notes · View notes
allofuswantgwinam · 9 months ago
Text
ngl today when i woke up i felt different
0 notes
deadsetobsessions · 9 months ago
Text
Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.4
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
Danny was sitting in the back, his backpack obnoxiously taking up the seat next to him, when the door to the lecture hall creaked open near silently.
“What are you in here for?” Danny asked the guy who crept into class. He sympathetically took his backpack off the Seat of Shame and allowed the guy to sit down. Funnily enough, they had the same hair and eye color.
“Gen Ed. Undecided. You?” The guy grunted quietly back.
“Environmental studies. I’m Danny.”
“Tim.”
With the implicit understanding of two people in a required class they could not give less than two fucks about, Tim and Danny tuned back into the lecture. When the class was assigned group work, Danny looked over to see Tim softly snoring, head slammed down on the table.
“Tim. Wake up, dude.” Danny poked his shoulder.
“Huh? Class over?”
“Nah, we got group work. Discussion board.”
“Oh shit, thanks for waking me up. Wanna team up?”
Danny shrugged. “Sure. We should aim to post it in the middle so the professor doesn’t read our answers to the class.”
“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Any idea what we’re talking about?”
“Kind of?”
“Good enough for me.”
——
Tim Drake kept seeing Danny Fenton around on campus.
“Danny! Dude, what are you doing?”
Danny turned, gloved hands full of crumpled trash. “Picking up after the student population, apparently.”
“Didn’t think environmental studies was that serious.”
“Global warming is very serious, you jerk,” Danny smirked at him, crossing the grass to put the trash into the trash can. “Reduce, reuse, oil shouldn’t be spilled in water and all that.”
“Basic stuff,” Tim grinned. Nice, he basically had a friend past Bernard now!
They were friends, right?
“And yet humanity fails to comprehend it. Incredible. Incredibly stupid that is.”
“They get it. Major corporations just don’t care.”
Danny sighed. “True that. You on your way to your next class?” He took off his biodegradable gloves off (nitrile and nylon, baby!) and chucked them into the trash.
“I’ve got free time, actually. Prof cancelled for his daughter’s surgery.”
“Oh, shit, that’s rough! You wanna go downtown and join the strike?”
“A strike? What for?” Even as he asked, Tim hiked his bag higher onto his shoulder, ready to go. They fell into step as the two left campus.
“Apparently, Quillan Pharma was doing some shady shit at their manufacturing plants. I think it’s like killing kids, and pouring toxins into the ground.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. Oh! Poison Ivy’s gonna be there!”
Tim blinked. He casted a sideways look at Danny. Sure he’s been here long enough to know… but it couldn’t hurt to check. “You know she’s an eco-terrorist, right?”
“Okay, but like… people suck sometimes. And all she’s asking for is like don’t kill the planet. And she doesn’t do that whole mind control thing too much anymore! The Sirens are so cool. Plus, one of my best friends at home might actually kill me if I don’t try to get her autograph. Poison Ivy is like, Sam’s personal hero.”
Tim snickered. “Yeah, okay. Mind if one of my friends join? His name’s Bernard.”
“The more the merrier,” Danny nodded. “Ooo! Hot chocolate. Want some?”
Danny bought three drinks as Tim trailed behind, texting Bernard.
“He said yes.”
“Cool! We should meet up somewhere before the drinks get cold.”
Well, Danny got the autograph. Tim got a new friend, and Bernard got a drink from his crush.
——
“Oh, you’re the glowing dude that Batman always talks about!”
Danny blinked, eyes scanning the wing-like cape and the yellow emblem on the hero’s suit. Danny was indeed glowing, stars and nebulas freckling across neon green skin, and glowing hair the color of a white dwarf star, tinged with the blue from his ice core.
“I… have absolutely no idea who you are,” Danny lied, like a liar. He’s found a surprising niche of entertainment in messing with the local vigilantes and he’ll be damned if he missed this opportunity.
He heard a snicker from the comm lines as Red Robin visibly brushes it off.
“I’m Red Robin. Why are you picking up trash?”
“Picking up after you humans, apparently.”
The both of them blink, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu. A moment of awkward silence passed before they both shook it off.
“Are you here to help? No offense, but the track record for you people is terrible.” Danny strode over and grabbed a bag. He opened it, and shook it at Red Robin’s face. “See? Batarangs, these odd bird looking ones, the R’s. Seriously, pick up after yourselves!”
“Oh, woah, can we have these back?”
Danny yanked the bag back before Red Robin could get close. “Pay me. These were incredibly tedious to pick up. Especially the batarangs. I mean, I even found a whole bunch of old rusted ones in the middle of the bay. What did you do, dump an entire bag in there from the air?”
Red Robin sighed and took out a wad of cash, with tracking fluid all over it. Danny grimaced, smelling the odd scent on the money. “That’s not real cash. It smells off. Are you trying to give me counterfeits because you’re broke?”
Red Robin gaped, oddly offended. “No! They’re real!”
“Doesn’t smell like it. It’s stinkier than the trash. Go get the one with the money, the litterer. Tell him I’ll be back the next full moon. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Danny grumbled, disappearing on the spot to watch Red Robin flounder with the stack of cash and the piles of dead bodies on the shore.
“What the fuck even is my life these days?” Red Robin wondered out loud, stuffing the cash back into his pocket. He looked over the plastic wrapped bodies and slumped, sighing.
Oddly enough, Danny felt a sense of sympathy. Well, he’s not getting paid for sympathy. He’s not getting paid at all tonight, actually. Danny flew off, plunging once more into the depths of the significantly cleaner waters, and used his ice to scoop out oil stains.
Danny glanced around and sighed. He had a lot of work to do.
——
“So you’re saying he’s like a werewolf mermaid fae child immortal god thing, right?”
Bruce grunted.
“B, what the hell are you smoking these days? You know drugs are bad, right? Do we need Superman to give you that PSA?” Jason snickered.
Tim, massaging his arms from having to haul an ungodly amount of dead bodies, grunted. He’s so similar to Bruce that it gave the people currently in the cave hives.
“He said full moon. I don’t think we can track him with regular stuff. The bugs kept shorting out.”
“Oh boy,” Dick sighed. “Don’t fall off the spiral cliff, Tim. You’ve got midterms to think about so no stalking the guy.”
“Yet,” Tim shot back, changing out of his suit.
Bruce grunted, setting aside a huge stack of cash.
4K notes · View notes
milktiicup · 11 days ago
Note
do you write for mr scarletella? :) if so, may i request jealous scarlet who makes attempts to get closer to reader (court them) after seeing how close they are to mr crawling
persistence is key
That creepy smile grows on his face. "You like me," he says like it’s a fact. “What the- what?” You share a glance with Mr. Crawling. “You slow in head?”
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🌊 ⋅ ˚✮ yeah idk, lowkey some enemies to (potential) lovers, i have no idea how to characterise mr scarletella, but i tried my best and then i kinda got a little too invested in trying to spin the fic the way i wanted and wrote a little more than usual... sorry if ur disappointed, i tried to keep the whole courting/jealous thing subtle but still kinda there >w<
warnings. canon typical violence >w<
Tumblr media
You’re not sure when you met the man in red, but you know he’s stalking you now. And it’s getting seriously old. Unlike the ghosts and monsters you’ve had the pleasure of meeting, this one doesn’t know how to take a hint.
Your first unofficial encounter with him is something that sent shivers down your spine, tucked away under Mr. Crawling’s arm and clutching onto his kimono for dear life. The second encounter was much worse- separated from your other worldly protector and left running down an almost comically long and creepy hallway where he just magically appears in front of you. 
You don’t even think twice before you smash the crowbar into his form with all your strength, but it was futile the way he flickered? in front of your own eyes and left a weird moist residue on your weapon. You scowled, and rudely pointed a finger at him- “What the hell’s your problem, dude?”
In response, he leaned in close- so close that your nose nearly touched his. The tilt of his scarlet umbrella cast a dark shadow over you, and as he peered down, one black eye appeared from behind his hair, locking onto you with a soul-piercing stare. You felt stripped bare under that gaze, vulnerable and exposed, like he was seeing straight into your core, uncovering forgotten memories, pieces of yourself even you couldn’t remember. He smiled—a slow, unsettling curl of his lips that chilled you to your bones—and said something you didn’t understand. It sounded like a question, maybe, though you couldn’t be sure. You didn’t care. You spat out a few choice words and swung again, hard.
At least for a while, he left you alone.
Has it been days, weeks, or even months since you’ve got here? It was difficult to keep track, and it was difficult to even care anymore. The place was, without a doubt, growing on you by the day. Even if it was filled with hostile creatures that wanted to eat you sometimes, and when your skin started to get discoloured and you had the inhuman itch that just could never be satisfied- it wasn’t that bad! Hell, you even made a few friends and claimed a comfortable bed in some random room you found.
However, just as you finally started settling into the place, you had your third encounter with Mr. Scarletella.
It started with a dream- from before you came to this world. That man in red… A test of courage, your friends called it- spending a night in those so-called ‘Ghost Apartments.’ Your friends hadn’t known it then, but you were quite familiar with the building for reasons, and set yourself up in a cosy corner and the night was supposed to sail smoothly.
A rumour had surfaced- a tale of a ruin that appears only on rainy days, where you’re warned never to give your name to the figure you’ll meet there. That figure, they said, would take your soul. At the end of a dim hallway, standing silently under a scarlet umbrella, he was waiting. The man in red, eyes hidden beneath his hair. He was watching you. Or was he? Somehow you could feel his stare even if you couldn’t see it. 
You woke up, heart pounding, muttering a string of curses. You groan, rubbing a hand down your face. The discoloration of your skin hadn’t gotten any worse, but it hadn’t gotten better, either. The longer you stayed here, the more the place left its mark. As long as you remained relatively human, and the only thing this place took from you was your memory, you weren’t too fussed. How could you possibly miss something from the other world when all you could remember was smashing a crowbar into someone’s head?
You swing your legs over the bed, feet touching the cold ground. The chill sent a jolt up your spine, and it was almost too tempting to get back under the cosy, warm sheets. You stretch your arms above your head, bones cracking and popping into place and mumble a hazy ‘Good morning’ to Mr. Crawling that should have been in the other bed. Silence wasn’t something you were used to around him- and you whip around so fast that you gave yourself whiplash.
Cursing, you grab your crowbar and stumble out of the room with a hand rubbing your tender neck. You didn’t need to look far- you could see Mr. Crawling at the end of the hallway.
And Mr. Scarletella. 
The man in red was bent over to be face to face with Mr. Crawling, all-too-familiar sinister smirk on his face. Mr. Crawling didn’t look so happy either, and they seemed to be having an argument. You stomp your feet as you make your way over to the two, hand tightening on your crowbar as you ready yourself to fight literal static if it meant leaving your best friend in here alone.
“You,” you scowl, pointing your weapon at him. “You problem?”
Mr. Crawling scurries to your side, a hand gripping onto your clothes. “Dangerous… should get away!” he urges, tugging. 
You shush him with a pat on his head with your free hand and continue to glare at that menace. 
“You like them?” is the only thing Mr. Scarletella asks with a tilt of his head, smile seemingly disappearing into thin air.
Glancing at Mr. Crawling, his face covered in worry- you feel the familiar itch of your skin. You take a breath, going through all the reasons why you can’t actually kill Mr. Scarletella, and loosen the grip on your crowbar. From what you can sense right now, he’s not actually that much of a threat. Just a nuisance that can’t seem to leave you alone. 
“Them friend,” you reply, deadpan. What type of question was that anyway? This guy was a freak. 
That creepy smile grows on his face. "You like me," he says like it’s a fact.
“What the- what?” You share a glance with Mr. Crawling. You turn back to Mr. Scarletella. “You slow in head?”
The smile on Mr. Scarletella’s face falters just for a moment, but it quickly returns, more chilling than before. He stands there, towering above you. Despite your snarky comment, he doesn’t look offended- no, it’s almost as if he’s intrigued by your resistance.
You tighten your hold on the crowbar. “You problem.” You frown. “Go away.”
Instead, his grin deepens, his head tilting at such an unnatural angle that you can feel your stomach churn. It’s as though he’s studying you, savouring every little bit of your discomfort. Surely, turning your head at that angle is gonna hurt… You audibly gulp.
“Problem later,” Mr. Scarletella says, and with an unsettling flicker, he’s gone. 
The next time you saw him after that was in less tense circumstances. It was unsettling after whatever that was with his coy little ‘Problem later’, you weren’t going to worry too much about it for the time being. You decided you’ll worry about it when the problem occurs, which probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas you had. 
The earth shakes, and you’re completely cut off from Mr. Crawling. Wandering down hallways, resting in random rooms- you never really felt alone. You turn a corner, dizziness growing by the minute, and pause.
“You again,” you sigh. You don’t even bother lifting your crowbar at him. “What do you want?”
He appears directly in front of you, causing you to stumble back a few steps at just how tall he is. He bends down to your eye level, umbrella covering both of you once again. “Give name?” he asks. 
“No. Go away.”
“Give name. Teach.”
“Go away!”
“Teach name.”
“Fine! My name’s… you pause. You didn’t actually have to give him your real name, did you? “...Silvair, or something.”
He gets closer to your face. You take another few steps back, but not before you get the smell of blood and dampness off of him. It takes all the willpower in your body to not scrunch your face up. 
“Wrong name.”
“So what? It’s a name.” You scoff. Mr. Scarletella is silent, eerily so, and you can feel his piercing gaze stare through you once more. You awkwardly avoid eye contact, and clear your throat. “I’m… gonna go now, okay?” You turn on your feet and only make it a few steps.
“You teach them name?”
Them? Mr. Crawling? That guy doesn’t even understand the concept of his own name! The scowl feels as if it’s permanently etched onto your face. You whip around, pointing another disapproving finger into his red raincoat. It feels fuzzy… and wet. It grosses you out, almost. More than Mr. Gap’s greasy hair.
“No,” you hiss. “I don’t even remember my own name.” He stares, silently.  “Me,” you point to yourself, “not know name.”
“...Not know name?” he echoes. What you said has him lost, you could see that. 
Just like that, he’s gone again. You don’t see him for a few more days, nor do you find Mr. Crawling. You spend your time aimlessly wandering, knowing eventually you’ll most likely find someone you know in a friendly manner, and not pondering if every ghost you come across is a friend or a foe. 
You awake promptly to a sound of a chainsaw revving. As if it was a morning routine, you stumble to your feet, grasping for your crowbar that should have, without a doubt, been next to you… only to grasp at air. Okay, now you are starting to feel a little panic.
Through trial and error, you knew that whatever wound you receive will heal, with time- but it doesn’t mean you were looking forward to being maimed to shreds with a chainsaw! 
“Hehe.”
You froze, heart racing, and slowly turn around. There that wretched little being was- the stupid little fucker in the goat costume. The ‘Hooded Child’, the thing was termed. In it’s stupid little fucking hands, it held you handy-dandy crowbar that’s been with you thick and thin. Your stomach churns. 
You gulp and face back towards the open doorway- a long black abyss, stretching on and on, with only the haunting bounce of that chainsaw, crawling along the walls. That chainsaw that was about to mince you in a matter of seconds. That chainsaw that was approaching you rapidly.
Frantically, you grab the nearest thing you could reach for. A metal chair. You wince. Probably not the best thing you could’ve grabbed, but it’ll have to do. It’s a matter of- well, technically life or life, but still! You could feel the sweat on your palms, the adrenaline pumping through your veins and your heart hammering through your ribcage. 
You lift the chair above your head as the monster comes into view- a tall, masked being in a strapless floor length black dress… wait, why was she dressed so sexy? Your surprise leads you to hesitate as she rushes at you with her machine. You let out a yelp as you whack the chair down in front of you, metal clanging echoing throughout the room.
Complete silence. Not even the sound of that chainsaw. Not even the sound of metal.  
“Huh?” You blink, once, twice, thrice at the sliced up body of that creature, blood splatter on your clothes. There was blood even on the ceiling, too… You drop the chair in utter confusion.  “What the hell?”
“Help you.”
“You again!” You spin on your feet, meeting the dull eyes of Mr. Scarletella. You’re about to huff and puff this guy into next week, but pause. You leave your accusing finger down by your side. This guy just saved you from that thing. You avert your eyes and scuff your feet against the ground with a cough into your fist. “Uhm… Thank you.”
Wow, this guy really has an intense stare… Way to make things unnecessarily intense and awkward. 
“Protect you,” he says. “You like me?”
“Take me out to dinner first, man!” you exclaim, crossing your arms over your chest. “Not like. You not bad. Not good. You okay.”
Mr. Scarletella dons an out of place frown that even makes you feel a little uneasy. “Them protect you. You like them.”
“Them friend,” you stress, finally meeting his gaze once more. You kind of regret it. This guy doesn’t blink. “You…” Weird? Off-putting? Freaky? “...unsafe.”
“Me safe. Protect you. Help you.” 
You sigh. “Unsafe to friend.”
He just stands there, holding that stupid umbrella, with that unblinking stare. You blink at him and squint your eyes. His facial expression doesn’t change. Completely unfazed. You can’t even tell if he’s confused, or upset, or whatever he could possibly be. Your breath hitches as his unsettlingly familiar smile returns.
He tilts his head. “Me good. Me show you.”
Then he’s gone again. You can finally breathe. Your heart is still pumping. You slide against the wall, landing on the ground and resting your head against your knees. You clutch at your raincoat with shaking fists. 
Mr. Scarletella - you knew he was meant to be dangerous, but he just saved you a whole lot of pain. Even if he was still a threat to Mr. Crawling, and hounds you for your name, asks you weird questions, could he honestly be as bad as you originally thought he was? You can’t deny that he did save you… but his presence is more dangerous than comforting. He’s both a threat and an aid, but never clear on which he’ll be at any given moment. One thing is for certain, however, and that was that he was persistent for your attention. Wait… 
Oh my good God, does he like you?
“Heh…”  Chuckling, you tuck your hair behind your ear. “I am pretty cute.”
You stand, and decide it’s better to think about while on the move back to Mr. Crawling. You reach for your crowbar, and curse. Of course. The Hooded Child took it with them when they disappeared when Mr. Stalkerella showed up. Well, you sigh as you drag the chair behind you as you exit the room, at least you have a temporary weapon, for now…
Making it back to Mr. Crawling didn’t take that much longer. He greets you, frown on his face and long arms wrapping around your waist. “Me worried! You gone long time!”  
“Long time,” you agree, bending down to his level. You ruffle his hair, a smile finally sliding onto your face. It quickly turns into a pout as you wave your empty hands. “Lost attack tool.” 
Mr. Crawling points to the spilled blood on your raincoat with a high pitched noise. You sheepishly giggle, and gesture to the chair behind you. He tilts his head, processing, before letting out his all familiar laugh. You sigh in content, glad to see a friendly face and let him pet you for a while. 
He stops petting you, and turns around. “Attack tool!” he smiles wide, your trusty weapon in his grey hands. “Them give me.”
“Them?” you repeat, taking the crowbar, twisting and turning it in your grasp. “Them who?”
“Them!” 
Curse this damn language. 
“Mr. Crawling,” you hold his face in your hands, “what look like?”
His smile falters, and if you could see his eyebrows, you’d imagine they would be furrowed. He takes a moment to think, and points to the blood on your raincoat, and attempts to imitate holding an…
Umbrella.
You stare. And stare. And stare. You can’t even begin to process what Mr. Crawling just said to you, debating maybe you actually were growing crazy and it was finally time to bounce out of this place- andddd of course, you notice a red flicker at the end of the hallway. You tilt your head past Mr. Crawling.
That scarlet umbrella tilts slightly, and just for a split second, you catch a glimmer of that piercing dark eye staring straight at you, as if watching every nerve fire under your skin. You can see his smile from here, as if it was a smug ‘I told you so’ but it was actually a ‘Me show you.’ 
Well… Mr. Scarletella did show you. And now you were just left, to put it simply, utterly fucking confused. It just drilled the narrative down deeper of the possibility that he did like you. So… what do you do now? Do you apologise for trying to smash his head in with a crowbar? For being so rude? 
How do you even apologise for something you don’t even remotely feel sorry for in the first place? Mr. Scarletella was creepy! …At least, he was kind of sweet. Not really- his intentions were anything but kind. But still!
You bite the inside of your cheek. …Is it wrong to feel a little flattered? There’s barely any romance in this place anyway!
In your world, things are either friend or foe, monster or protector. But Mr. Scarletella? He exists in some in-between place. Dangerous yet helpful. It’s as if he’s deliberately defying every category you try to force him into. And now, the memory of his unsettling question repeats in your mind- “You like me?” - echoing in your thoughts with a kind of twisted innocence that gnaws at you, a bit more with each repetition.
Mr. Crawling gives a soft, anxious chirp, tugging you slightly, drawing you out of your thoughts. He’s still eyeing the red figure warily. He points. “Them… dangerous? Them good?” 
“Not know,” you mumble, defeated. “Good, maybe.” You stand to your feet, crowbar falling off of your lap and clanging onto the floor. “Me, them, talk. You stay.”
Mr. Crawling makes a noise of protest, hand reaching out to grasp at your clothes. You reassuringly ruffle his hair once more, and make your way to the end of the hallway. You don’t hear him follow behind you.
Face to face, you stand in front of the smiling Mr. Scarletella. He stares down at you, unblinking, unmoving. 
“Can’t give name,” you remind him.
He leans his face down, ever so close. “Me like you.” A pause. “Want you.” Another pause. “You like me. Give me many human. Give me many blood.” 
Well… In your defence, you didn’t know your corpse dumping ground was Mr. Scarletella’s domain. 
“Getting in over your own head…” you grumble, and lift up your hand. You pinch your fingers together. “Little like you. Okay? LITTLE.” You wonder if this guy’s smile could get any bigger, geez… “You want big like?” You point your index towards him. “Be normal. Be good. Understand?”
“Normal? “Good?” He seems to chew over the words like they’re a foreign delicacy, his head tilting at that unnatural angle again. “For… you?”
“You good,” you waggle your finger at him, “I teach name. Maybe. If I can remember it…”
There’s an unnatural, prolonged silence in the air. You’re beginning to feel the awkward tension once more, but your resolve refuses you to break the unblinking eye contact you keep with him. 
And finally, he speaks once more, agreeing to your proposition, “You teach good, you teach name.”
You hold back your groan- whatever this dance you two were playing, was going to take a long time to progress.
But at least something is better than nothing, right?
2K notes · View notes
loverboybrightsideghost · 1 year ago
Text
.
0 notes
cherubcameron · 2 months ago
Text
Part one
Rafe had been calling you extensively. To the point, where you had to have do not disturb on. You didn’t have it in you yet to block him. You forgot he also knew where you lived.
“You know we could have done this the easy way. Now we’re going to have to do the hard way.” He said, once you opened the door. You didn’t even have time to run, he had grabbed you forcefully. You screamed.
“Shhh, baby shh.”
You knew he had erratic behavior. He just hadn’t ever displayed it before to you.
“Rafe! Rafe! Put me down!”
“Rafe, dude. Come on, is this really necessary?”Topper says, watching his friend manhandle you.
“Shut the fuck up, Top!” Rafe says. “Help me get her in the car.”
“No! Get off!” You scream, you’re scratching at his arms and he winces in pain.
“Ow! Stop that!”
You manage to pull away from his strong hold.
“Enough Rafe, you can’t force me to go anywhere with you. This counts as kidnapping, ya know!”
He tries to grab you again but Topper gets inbetween.
“Do you really want to get in my way, Topper?” Rafe says, his eyes are on you though.
“Dude, this is not the way. You told me we came here so you could talk to her. Not force her to go somewhere against her will.”
Rafe begins to cry as he sees you flinch back. He doesn’t even care that Topper can see.
“Let her go, dude.” Topper says gently. You never would have guessed, Topper to be the voice of reason. But here he was.
“No! Fuck you, Topper. Please baby, please! I promise. I promise I’ll get clean. I haven’t even touched coke in weeks. Tell her Top. Tell her!”
You can tell he’s lying through his teeth. His jaw is swinging. And he keeps wiping away at his nose. His eyes are red from the tears.
“Baby, please.”
“I’m not your baby anymore.” You finally say.
“No.” He cries. “No don’t say shit like that. You’re breaking my heart baby. I fucked up, I know that. But you don’t have to punish me for it. Please. The coke will go away. The parties. I’ll change my lifestyle. I’ll be different.” He pauses. “I’ll be a different Rafe. Clean Rafe. Good Rafe. Country club Rafe. No drugs. No alcohol.”
He’s hitting his head with his hand as he says each word. A part of you aches to go to him to make him stop.
But you can tell he’s bluffing. You know he’ll do it sneakily.
“Rafe, you don’t know how to. That is your life. Until you’re serious—.” You try to speak but he cuts you off abruptly.
“I am serious! Tell her Topper. Fucking tell her! I stopped it all.”
You begin to cry, scared of the boy you’re looking at. Scared of whose he’s become. This wasn’t your Rafe.
“Come on, man. You’re scaring her. Let’s just go, okay—“
“Shut up Topper! Why can’t you shut up! You’re not helping me!”
He finally manages to get around Topper. His arms are around you again, he hiccups from the tears he’s crying.
“Princess, please. I’ll do anything. I’ll get on my knees. Please, don’t leave me. I love you. I love you.”
Kelce shows up out of nowhere. You don’t even realized he’s pulled up.
“That’s enough Rafe. Come on man. Let her be.” Both boys grab Rafe, freeing you from his grip.
“No! Please, no! I need her! I fucking need her.”
Grim faces are present on both boys faces.
“We know man. Just come on.”
Once they get him away, you crumble to the ground. Sobs breaking out of you.
“Hey! Is everything okay? We heard screaming.” Your old elderly neighbor asks. She’s a sweet old lady, who gardens when she can. You’ve helped her out a few times.
“Why don’t you come in. I’ve made some pie. I think you’ll like it.”
You manage to get up and follow her in. She gives you a sad smile.
“I’m sorry for the screaming.” You say meekly.
“Don’t ever apologize for another persons actions. Especially not a boy who doesn’t know when no means no. You’re so much stronger than that. I know it. I’ve known you since you were four. You’ve always been a fierce girl. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.” Her hand is on your shoulder. Gentle. Unlike Rafes iron clad grip. You almost burst out crying again.
“Come on, let’s enjoy some pie.”
2K notes · View notes
starlooove · 1 year ago
Text
Whoever said batfam was getting too chummy ur right. I want them to stop being happy now sorry
#first of all dick needs to be shot out of the fucking sky#DO NOT LET THAT NIGGA KEEP THOSE POWERS#like he obviously isn’t but I wish he didn’t have em in the first place that was stupid#I think cass should get more mommy issues. maybe smth happens and cass ISNT ready for it#and shivas like ur getting soft#and cass who knows she doesn’t wanna be a killing machine and can’t help but feel a lil relief about this#suddenly thinks of what would’ve happened if it was an attack aimed at a friend and she wasn’t ready#IK the steph being insecure thing is overblown but also nobody ever addresses that the root of that insecurity was tim and bruce dude#THATS WHAT I WANT I want her to look back on it and actually conceptualize just how fucked up they were towards her#but at present everything’s so chill does she rlly wanna stir the pot? and then when things start going to shit does she wanna make it worse#and spirals into perfectionism to prove them wrong about shit they don’t even care about anymore bc they kinda suck smh#Tim needs relationship drama and I don’t just mean mean Bernard I mean in general like family friends all of it#I want him to be in a fucking tizzy and I want it to be bc he’s being like Bruce specifically#yj feeling he only ever talks about cases anymore him feeling like he can’t relate to Bernard bc there’s nothing there outside of RR etc.#the solution for this one is for Tim to man up and talk about his issues but he keeps tryna avoid it by doing MORE work stupid ass#and he lashes out at everyone which makes it worse. I cannot stress enough that his problems are his fault here bro ppl may encourage him#but he is absolutely doing this to himself no damsel in distress shit here#DAMIAN. tired of the hes arrogant and needs to be humbled thing I need Damian to struggle with the idea that the ppl around him think he’s#intrinsically bad and needs to be fixed. like that’s an issue I want addressed immediately.#not to be biased but I either want Damian on a new titans team hanging out with the old TT (like being babysat) OR getting civilian friends#last one is so dear to me that fic where Duke took Damián out to Gotham I NEED Damian to find some friends there and love them and shit#I’m watching mystery Inc again I need Damian with a friend group like that#DUKE. I only want good things for Duke but yknow 💔 he should struggle with the isolation that comes with being the Day guy but also from#dealing with Gotham’s press as Bruce’s only blk kid (I don’t trust dc for this) and I want him to interact with other blk gothamites and#heroes. I want him to speak with onyx and talk about Orpheus (who’s area she took over btw). I want him to talk with Jackson and Wallace#specifically about how it’s hard to bring up the topic of their personal public relations due to their skin color. nobody understands how#you can FEEL the air shift when someone’s racist and no one understands how difficult it is to react right#anyways I think Jason needs to find out bruce revived joker. and nothing specific for dick idk idrc rn. make him a supporting character for#Damian specifically actually 🤩 and honestly just make him say two words the whole run he’s had enough. love him tho#imma be honest I haven’t read enough about Babs from her perspective to know her like that so do what u will
0 notes
unkreativstermensch · 1 year ago
Text
"Still super jealous as hell by the way.“
"Okay, now, can you…get outta my face?“ Steve annoyedly swats a hand at Eddie’s chest and ducks out of his space.
Eddie sighs and shakes his head. "Why are you-" He purses his lips, thinks. "You don’t…you still don’t like me very much, do you?"
At that Steve stops walking, huffs out an annoyed breath and presses his eyes closed. He turns to Eddie, looks at him with an expression Eddie can’t read and says, "No, Eddie. No, I don’t."
Eddie just watches him for a second, not sure what to do, studies his face, the furrow between his brows, the clear discomfort in his expression.
He scoffs. Getting a little angry. "Jesus, man,“ he says. "You just can’t get over it, huh? And here I was rambling on about how you were actually a good dude after all, but…no, turns out Steve Harrington is still just as much stuck in his stupid high school mindset as I would have thought.“
Steve just looks more annoyed now, a slight shift in his eyebrow and…he looks…frustrated? A little? How does that make sense?
"You,“ Steve says, voice low, but not because of the monsters, Eddie knows that much, "are unbelievable.“
Eddie blinks. "What?“
"Eddie, you’re the one who can’t get over it,“ Steve accuses him. "You always talk about that non-conformist shit and how people should just stop with the categories and drawers and labels but, dude, you’ve never judged people that way yourself! I have been saved in your brain as this dumb idiot jock ever since you’ve known me and…“ Steve huffs out an unbelieving breath. "And Eddie, I don’t know what to tell you…but you’ve never been nice to me. Ever. And when Lucas made the basketball team, which is amazing, by the way, you weren’t proud of him or supported him for that incredible achievement like you should have if he’s really one of your 'little sheep‘.“ He draws quotation marks in the air. "You punished him for it. You said you can’t make Hellfire? Fuck you. I’m just gonna have the most important part of the campaign without you, because you know what, you don’t deserve us anymore now that you’ve joined the dark side. Now that you’ve taken up a…a jock game. Because god forbid, somebody could actually ever enjoy playing sports.“
Eddie can’t follow. His mind’s lagging behind, still stuck on Steve apparently knowing DnD terms and saying he was never nice to him and-
Steve takes another step back.
"Eddie, for as long as I can remember you hated me. And yeah, sure, I was stupid and I did some stupid things, but…“ he shrugs one sided. "But I don’t think I deserve to be treated that way. I think I at least deserved a chance. And you never gave me one.“
Eddie blinks. "What do you mean I never gave you a chance, I-"
"Biology, sophomore year,“ Steve interrupts him. "We were assigned lab partners. I tried to really…put all of it aside, tried to get to know you, because actually, Eddie, you know what? I was sort of obsessed with you. Because you were so…loud and so unashamedly yourself, I admired you so much. You didn’t care about anything and you stood up for yourself and that’s something I’ve never been able to do, my whole life. I…“ Steve looks down, sighs a little. "I let people push me around because it’s the only way I feel like I can be of use. But you…you made me believe that maybe actually I…could do it, you know? Like, tell Tommy H. off or something…“ He looks so hurt. Eddie kind of wants to die. "But you…you acted like it was the worst thing ever, getting partnered with me. You didn’t even look at me. You…never gave me a chance, Eddie. So…sorry if one 'you’re actually a good dude, Harrington' doesn’t make me forget all of that, make up for it. Because I’m not so sure I believe you.“
Oh.
Oh no.
Eddie fucked up.
4K notes · View notes
bee-wg · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Year 2:
“Jay! What the Flip?” It’s the ass crack of dawn, and Theo is already trying his best SpongeBob impression.
“Whaaat?” I yelled back with a mouth full of pancakes.
“You put your dirty clothes on my bed again!” He squealed.
”Dude, you asked for it. What are you whining about?”
“Boys, What did I say about yelling in the morning?” She yelled.
“Yewn, bwintow!” I think Dad was telling us to break it off, but he’s too lost in the Cream Cheese Danish.
Can’t blame him. Delicious and high protein? There’s nothing better.
Theo rushed down with a constipated face. 
“Ewww. They’re still wet to the touch. Wait. Is it dripping sweat?”
Okay. I overlooked the wet part, but he asked me to have it. 
I’ve been cleaning out some gym clothes that don't fit anymore, and Theo wanted some. I’ve decided to fully commit on football and my stocky phase, so I gave that shirt one last try yesterday. It was definitely not made for a more rugged build person. As I walked around the house, I unknowingly soaked it. I used to be disgusted with sweating. I would shower and wash the clothes by hand after each morning run. Recently I’ve been sweating a lot easier, but Dad told me to look at the bright side of things, and I do see it. Usually I would only sweat when I get a real good workout. Since it's easier to sweat buckets, that means I’m getting lots of exercise.
That leads back to this. I don’t feel as compelled to wash them anymore. They’re the result of my hard work on the journey back to being shredded. 
“No more pancakes in the morning for the month.” He said.
“What?…But…You can’t do that.” 
His face tells me, “Yes, loser. I can.”
***
“What happened, dude? Your cat died?” Brad asked.
This is supposed to be an easy practice because it’s the last before the summer. I guess Coach woke up and chose violence. 
I’ve been only doing a few yards of Quick Steps and Sumo squats. My lungs are now collapsing.
I’m only 230 pounds; there are players heavier than me doing better. I’m doing something wrong. It must be because I didn’t have protein pancakes for days.
“Dude, you there?” Brad asked.
Trying not to wheeze, I replied.
“Yeah, S’all good. I’m just hungry.” 
It would be an understatement. When you’re used to protein goods pumping your belly full of energy every morning, what does five English muffins and some hash browns even do?”
“Hahaha, classic Jay. You’re the man.” Brad answers with a slap on my back.
“Gosh, you’re getting sweatier than Aiden.” He said in disbelief.
“Oh, by the way. Aiden’s going to Costco to buy a speaker for our dorm. You mind giving him a lift?” Brad asked.
“Bad timing man, my dad broke the old Toyota. It’s taking a long time to repair.”
“No problem. I’ll see you next semester then. Take care!” Brad waved as he sprinted out of the field.
***
I felt like I could eat a horse when the bus arrived. I passed through the usual stops, and finally.
The warm smell of chicken nuggets invites me.
I pull out my phone and check. Ten consecutive days. I can definitely redeem a free meal today.
“Welcome, what can I get you?” The cashier asked.
“Can I have the Double Western Deluxe Combo?” “ I have the loyalty discount.”
“Thank you, here’s your number.”
After what felt like forever, they finally called my number. 
It’s a pretty big meal, but today’s situation calls for it. 
I’ve been doing pretty well sticking to a fries-only diet when I’m here. With some occasional burgers and soda thrown in, I’ve accumulated a few thousand points to have meals like this once in a while. The only downside is the bus here takes way too long. I guess it’s better than the neighbours knowing I’m a regular customer. 
As I finished the fries, I saw a guy wandering outside with my university’s gym bag.
Wait, is he from the team? 
Wait, is that Aiden?
No. Shit, Is Aiden waving to me?
He’s probably waving to someone else.
Then the door’s jingle chimes.
“Yo, I didn’t expect to see you here!” Aiden said.
My alone time is ruined.
“Yeah man, me too. What brought you here?” I asked.
“Just bought the speaker and couldn’t find any restaurants here. I thought Costco had a food court.” He looked down at my plate.
“Whatchu havin’? Oh Damnnn, that’s a chunky burger!” He said in excitement.
“Haven’t had them in years, my mom hates that shit.” 
I just wish to crawl into a hole at this point.
“Yeah, my mom hates them to-” 
“I should have one too.” Aiden interrupted.
”What?”
Then he came back with a smaller combo with a box of salad.
“Oh man, I’ve been wanting to have a taste for so long,” Aiden said with glittering eyes.
He got a few bites of the burger and fries, then moved on to the salad.
“So what are you doing this summer?” I asked.
“Oh, not much. Probably hang out with the guys. My dad wants me to go to a training camp though. It’s not like I will play football after college anyway, so what’s the point?”
Then we talk about dorm drama and who the coach is going to recommend to the NFL scouts.
He is actually quite chill to talk to. 
“You don’t like it?” I point down to his unfinished burger.
“No, it’s the best thing I’ve had in years. Definitely beating celery or carrots. I just have a diet going on, and I kinda impulse bought this.”
“I could finish it for you.” I offered.
“Really? Thank you so much dude!” He said.
“You’re actually pretty fun to hang out with. I always thought you had a stick up your ass.” He added unhelpfully.
By the time the last of his burger and fries disappeared in my stomach, I was ready to sleep it off when I got home. 
My phone rang, waking me up from sleep. It’s 2 AM.
Probably Number Seven. He always calls at an odd hour. 
I picked up the call.
“Duuuuuuude, I didn’t know you go to fast foods. I thought we don’t keep anything from each other.” Instead of number seven, Brad said.
“Jay, knock it off,” Theo grumbled on the other side of the room.
“Keep it down, Brad. What is it?” 
I knew shit would get out of the bag sooner or later. At least I had two weeks of peace.
“Next time let me join too!” Brad said.
What the hell is up with these people? 
“Fine, whatever. Let me go to sleep.”
“Thanks a lot, man. I’ve never had fast food before!”
I have the feeling that this is going to bite me in the ass later.
Brad is calling me. Again.
“Dude, what?” I asked calmly.
“Woah, no need to get so worked up.”
“I asked some of my mates, they all agreed to meet up at the mall’s parking lot,” Brad said.
What is going on? It’s only been five hours since he last called me.
“Don’t forget to bring your laptop and an empty stomach! It’s gonna be an epic summer.” Then he hung up on me.
I should be used to Brad’s bullshit by now. He’s been like this since high school.
The bus on the way there is as tedious as usual. 
Why did he tell me to go with an empty stomach? Didn’t he know that I get really grumpy without any breakfast? It’s worse now without pancakes.
He looks at me eagerly, like a dog finding its treat.
“What is it, man?” I asked as he led me to the back of the restaurant.
Then, no Harry Potter bullshit, he opened the wall.
“What the hell? There was a room back here all this time?”
“Wait, Brad. You rented a party room?”
“It’s sick, right? I thought we could chill here for the summer, and go to the river nearby when we’re bored. Oh, I also brought the guys here. And a projector!”
“How did you afford this? I didn’t know you were rich.” I look at the big ass room with my friends in there already playing video games. Even Aiden the snitch is here.
“Oh, I have a pretty successful OnlyFans account. I thought I could spend it on you guys.”
“…”
“…”
“Good for you, man. Gotta hustle in this economy.”
He ordered a party combo with a bunch of salad. Then we started playing video games. It wasn’t until I was on a losing streak playing Yoshi on Mario Kart, I realized. They were staring at me expectantly.
“What?” I asked.
“So…Can you help us finish?” Aiden said.
Oh no. Not again. I turned to look at Brad.
He responded with a toothy grin.
“Please Jay, you have, like, the biggest appetite out of all of us. Look at all this free food going to waste. I bet you’re still hungry.”
“There are five of you,” I said.
“Marcus can help,” Brad added.
“Wait, me?” Marcus said.
He’s the team’s linebacker. The only guy bigger than me.
“Fine. At least it’s free.” I said reluctantly.
The fact that all of the juicy meat is screaming for my attention might be clouding my judgment.
We continued playing games, watched some movies while I munch
It was pretty fun. I got to talk to the people I wouldn’t usually talk to.
For example, I didn’t know Braxton played piano or Oscar was a hardcore Pokémon card collector.
The rest of the summer continued and the guys would meet up about three times a week.
I should’ve said no the second time Brad asked. But how can I let the food go to waste when the guys need me?
Marcus doesn’t come often because he’s occupied with his boyfriend. So the guys developed a way for me to eat all of their share. I would drink a dubious amount of water to expand my stomach in the morning, giving me more space. 
It was incredibly stupid, but when the guys cheered me up while I devoured the last of the remains, I felt pretty proud of myself.
By the end of the summer, not wanting to waste the last of our freedom. Everyone has been scrambling for things to do.
That’s where Brad’s dad comes in. He organized a BBQ party by the beach and invited all the football Dads from high school who were still in their little group chat. Of course, we are invited too.
“Oh come on, Jay Jay. You have to go, or else I’m gonna be all alone.” Brad whined.
“No Brad. You’re gonna be with twenty people, you won’t be alone.” I replied.
“If you’re worried about not having any swim trunks that fit, you can borrow from my old man, or we could go shopping together.” Shit, he’s awfully insightful.
“Your dad is like, 500 pounds. I’m not that fat, dude.”
Then Theo asked me if he could join cause he had grown out of his swim shorts too. Whatever that means.
That’s how we ended up here with Brad showing me an ugly Hawaii print speedo with a blue Jay on it, and Theo laughing his ass off with him.
“No, I’m not going to wear that,” I said for the final time.
“You’re no fun, Jay,” Theo said.
“Right? This guy gets it.” Brad replied to him.
“So you’re the culprit who made Jay fat,” Brad asked.
”Dude, you don’t know the half of it. I basically sacrificed myself to advance his cooking career.” I added.
“I don’t know. I would think taking care of his laundry, dishes, and meals, just to have him burp in my face and snore at night makes up for it. If anything, I'm doing too much. I should stop doing the protein pancakes agai-“ 
”Theo! You’re literally the best chef in the world. I am honoured to be your Guinea pig for the rest of my life.” I said.
He smiled 
Yes! Crises subverted.
“Hahahahaha you two are so strange.” Brad, who is still listening, said.
The possibility of protein pancakes being taken away from me sends shivers down my spine. I try to refocus on Brad’s shenanigans.
He came out of the fitting room with a professional swimming Jammer.
Why did he even take his shirt off? Goddamn washboard abs.
“Don’t you think it’s too extra for the beach barbecue?” I asked.
“I think it fits him nicely,” Theo said.
“Theo, you get me,” Brad said, then winked at him.
Is he trying to rizz my cousin?
“It’s my turn!” Theo said, grabbing a few trunks he chose.
Then he came out, without a shirt too, wearing a bright orange swim shorts.
“I see you’re putting my gym membership to good use.” Goddamn washboard abs, where did that even come from? Now that I think of it, he’s been fitting my old gym clothes better.
“You look awesome, Theo. The orange fits you nicely.” Brad said.
“I guess it’s my turn,” I said without enthusiasm.
After struggling to pull it up my ass. I walked out with the ugly print forest green trunk that’s wedged between my inner thighs; with a shirt on, thank you very much.
“Woah, look at those hefty thighs,” Brad said.
I’m out of options, and there’s no way I’m walking into another swimwear store again. So we made our way to the counter.
The day for the beach finally arrives, and I can already feel the swim trunks digging into my ass.
What’s more annoying is that Mom and Dad are now angry at me.
I would be angry at myself too.
Now I’m in a car with no AC, listening to how I should make better life choices.
“Jay, I didn’t think you would sneak off for fast food without telling us.” Mom said.
She caught the extra burgers I sneaked in to munch on at night this morning.
“Jacob, don’t you remember what I told you about garbage food?” Dad asked.
He said my full name. He never says my full name.
“If you want fried chicken you could ask mom to make it. You know it’s healthier at home.” Dad said.
“Am I not making enough, Jay?” Mom asked.
“I’m sorry Mom, I know I shouldn’t go,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it, honey. We can get through this together. If you want more fried food, Theo and I will make lots of it at home.”
“I got you, Jay,” Theo said, patting my shoulder.
We finally got to the beachside. After finding a shade to park our car, Dad struggled a bit to get out of the car. It seems like the old Toyota is seeing its last days. We might need to upgrade the car soon.
I know Dad is probably not mad at me, but his disappointment was worse.
Hopefully he can forgive me after getting some barbecue in his stomach.
We started setting up the chairs with Brad’s dad as more of my high school friends and their dads started coming in. I haven’t seen most of them since we graduated.
Dad went to greet them and it looked like he fit right in.
He was the Dad everyone’s dad was jealous of but couldn’t help to like him.
I was pretty shocked when I heard Dad wanted to come because he always declined their barbecue invites. 
He was the fittest of the group, but it looks like he is one of the heavier guys here. Dad told me he’s almost 260 pounds now, so Theo and I will probably lose again this year.
I feel conflicted. I wanted to look like Dad before when he had chiselled abs, but I also want to look like him now when he has a much larger presence with the same amount of confidence. I can’t do either correctly.
“You daydreaming, bro?” Brad said.
“It’s nothing. Let’s get the boxes out,” I replied.
“Just so you know, you can tell me whatever you want, Alright?” He said.
“Thanks man, appreciate it.”
He’s too pure to know about my problem with how my abs or belly doesn’t look right.
We got the tablecloth pinned in place to withstand the wind, then set up some disposable tableware.
“Good job, son,” Dad said as he patted my back.
I smiled for the first time today.
Brad’s dad put us on watch duty for the grill while I fought not to drool on the food. 
I’ll get my share. Old people first.
“Jacob? You’re all grown up! You’re a big boy now, almost as big as me. I bet you made your father proud.” Mr. Lancaster said. 
“Mr. Lancaster, you’re here! I didn’t know you were coming.”
He used to take me to his house with Ms. Lancaster when my mom was busy, or when Dad was substituting for other teachers.
Avery and I used to-
Wait, Avery is here?
I looked around to scan everyone.
“Oh, my boy is having a problem with his car, so he is probably not coming.” Mr. Lancaster said.
“We have the same issue too; it’s been a mess. Say hello to Avery for me, eh?”
“Of course, good to see you, Jay.” He replied.
I sighed in relief. I don’t know what to say to Avery if he comes. I missed him, but I also ignored him a couple times when I spotted him at the fast food place.
We served for an hour and a half. I probably lost the 60weight pounds I’ve gained, and my stomach is definitely deflated now.
Note to self: If I ever need to lose weight again, just stare at tasty barbecues all day just to have none of it.
“Ahem. Woah cool! Look at that shiny thing over there. I’m going to go fetch it!” Brad said suddenly, then ran off.
“Wait, you still have your-“
He ditched me.
I tried to flip over both of our grills to no avail.
“You need help?”
“Ahhhhhh!”I yelped.
Ave laughs with his usual lopsided smile.
“I thought you were,” I said.
“Dead? No. I caught an Uber.” Avery said.
“Right. Long time no see.” I reached out my hand for a shake.
“Seriously, Jay? When did you start doing that shit?” Ave said.
Same old Avery then. I took my hand back and hid a grin.
He looked so different I didn’t know how to react. By the looks of it, he’s almost doubled my weight, maybe around 450s. 
“Haven’t seen you in a while. You look good.” He said.
“You looked good too.” Now that I see him closely, it suits him, makes him look sturdy. His ass is hanging out in the back like a bra though.
“What were you up to this past year?” I asked.
“Well you know, I screwed up the football scholarship. But it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me.” He said.
“I was pretty depressed for a bit, so I decided to go on one of the self-searching trips to some countries and states...”
Then he told me about the kind people and assholes he met on the way, as we finally sat down with our share of Barbecues.
Ave said that he got to eat food he never imagined existed, learn about cultures that changed his perspective on things.
He said he has never felt freer of any emotional constraints than he is now. I couldn't stop my smile from forming. I’m really happy for him.
He has always been harsh on himself. When school didn’t work, he dedicated his all to sports. On his way there, I felt like I lost a friend.
We talked for hours about the airplane seats being a bitch and how he’s sorry for whoever sat next to him, or about how I am addicted to fast foods and pancakes. He’s probably the only one I know that can relate.
I was lost in the conversation, with Brad interrupting occasionally with strange looks of wiggling eyebrows or smug smiles. I really don’t know what he’s on.
It’s when Dad is folding up the seats, and Brad’s dad cleans up the grill. Ave asked me.
“Wanna do this again sometime? My dad’s coffee shop has a new brownie coming up that he’s really proud of.”
Yes, of course. I wanna learn more about you and be friends again.
“Sorry, men. School is going to be busy. I also need to focus on football more this year, or I will get too fat to play.” I said.
“No problem Jay. You know I’ll always be there for you.” Avery said.
I tried to one arm hug him and he fully embraced me. His body is so warm and unbelievably soft.
For a moment, I wished I was proud like him. But I’m not free like him
Gathering supplies Dad brought, I walked back to the car, forgetting to ask for his number.
The school year started without much fanfare. But the feeling of estrangement grew.
Hanging out with the team was fun, but playing the game just doesn’t bring me the same amount of rush and anticipation anymore, instead, I look forward to the meal after the game that brings me the rush. It’s not like I was playing the game much anyway; I’m a glorified Waterboy now. My job is to refuel the Gatorade or water, then squirt it into the guys’ mouths. After that, I just need to hand them the towel and sit back to finish my hot dog. 
I know the team appreciates me. I would keep doing it for them if not for Coach’s disappointing stares. He probably thought I would be a star player like Dad, but I ended up fatter than the linebacker. I would be disappointed too.
My decision was made following the buzzing call of our defeat.
Chapter 3 ->
896 notes · View notes