#like I do try to respect ppl and their boundaries and whatnot

[kxynhhx]

ok maybe this is why I don't think much abt self-shipping when I'm in a bad state of mind

[laurenkmyers]

yes! also do you also get the feeling that ppl treat sex as something superficial and without depth and importance in a relationship? like sex isn't a form of connection to your partner, and it makes you feel love and appreciated by them. idk i guess it bothers me, bc it feels like they treat it as something immoral and dirty and not as an act of love between ppl in long term relationships (esp)

(cont) maybe it is about culture, i’m a v conservative muslim girl im not even sure what’s the translation of sex in my language cause none of this is normal in my culture but it doesn’t mean these things don’t happen, if kids in the west are doing it all then they should actually know what’s the right way to go about it. i loved how sander kept apologising for pushing robbe he just really wanted to respect his boundaries, guys need to learn that

Yes, my god. This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re absolutely right, and you should say it. Sex is not a dirty thing. It can be fun and exciting and a beautiful thing between two people, and communicating with ones partner about kinks and whatnot is all part of the education of it all. It’s about learning what you like, and what your partner likes. They’re showing us these scenes not to be dirty old men who just want to see two white boys fuck on screen, there is a very important purpose behind everything this show does and WTfock are not afraid to talk about subjects that might make some people uncomfortable so why are we all shying away from broaching the subjects they’re laying our for us? 

It truly baffles, but I get it in certain regards. If something like sex is triggering for some people then yes, stay as far away from these sorts of conversations as possible. You need to stay safe in your space. Don’t let anyone belittle your trauma’s. No one deserves that.

It’s also been really lovely to hear a perspective from someone who does come from a more conservative background, so thank you for your input. Hope you’re keeping yourself safe and sane out there during these trying times <3 

[pegsephone]

I mean I dont understand hating Hopper altogether, but I really didnt like how controlling he was of els actions and how angry he got at 2 teenagers doing nothing but kissing. I totally understand the frustration but hes been shown to have a short temper and Mike and el are still children. Full disclosure I love hopper, and hes a great father (which is a lot coming from me bc I do NOT trust dads) but I think Mike and el both are just trying to do "normal" teen things before they almost die again

ehhh idk. like again i think season 2 I didn’t necessarily approve of the fact that he kept her hidden so like I feel like calling him controlling this season, given how drastically different he was from last feels sorta meh yknow? like what was he controlling? keep the door open three inches which is like. a basic rule for most households kdjsjsjs esp for first relationships and stuff??? idk that didn’t feel controlling, it just felt normal

and like. yeah the “dad doesn’t approve of daughters relationship and is overprotective thing” is tired and played out, and that def was a part of that storyline but like. some of it makes sense. she shouldn’t go into crowds bc??? nobody knows who she is. she has no background outside of the lab and she supposedly died after season one and she has superpowers and little real world experience. Throwing her into super crowded areas w out supervision isn’t great?? and like. he didn’t have a problem w max sleeping over or her going to Max’s bc part of the issue was that she was spending *all* her time w mike so it wasn’t like he was trying to isolate her or smthn.

yeah summer love and they’re kids and all that but again, when she’s had such lil contact w the outside world, having her sole source of friendship be mike, who does take the protectiveness thing too far as well, isn’t great.

and like yeah hopper loses his temper and shit and no is absolutely not a perfect character but like. we saw that he tried to approach the situation like an adult and show he respected the two of them and their relationship and wanted to set boundaries so they understand the rules of the house and whatnot and mike was genuinely disrespectful. Like yeah el was too but a) it’s her dad so it’s completely different. b) we saw w max that she mirrors a lot of behavior she sees so if mike is being disrespectful, she’s more likely to follow along. and c) mike took it too far and completely ignored hoppers attempts to talk. like idk about you but I would never have spoken to an adult like that, esp not one I was related to and not a guardian of someone I was friends w, even as a punk ass kid lmao.

idk. I feel like even if ppl disagreed w his actions, which I’m still sorta on the fence abt, the idea of being like genuinely angry abt it or smthn is dksjsj a lil ridiculous to me. but again, it’s just my opinion abt a dumb show so

[goodestboyryuji]

how could ryuji be the best if hes constantly making lewd comments about women

*cracks knuckles* WE GON’ LEARN TODAY SON

To begin, I think there’s inherently a weird flaw in Ryuji’s writing (or perhaps a localization/translation issue) in that the very thing you mention doesn’t make sense for his personality. I’ll admit I love that boy more than anything so I’m a bit quick to defend him, but also if I take myself outside of that for a sec, it genuinely doesn’t line up. I don’t know if Ryuji started out as like, Pervy Bro and they were like “oh we can’t make him a straight up dick” or if he started off an empathetic, loyal character and they were like “oh but we need someone to be the horny teenage boy” (I’m inclined to think the latter). Either way, Ryuji is very protective and responsive to the girls on the team. Let’s take a look at what I think of as True Ryuji (tru-uji if you will hahahaha i hate myself too it’s ok), and just fyi SPOILERS. I haven’t finished the game yet so not full game spoilers but just-before-5th-palace-spoilers.

When Ann walks into the metaverse, his priority is her safety, not some dumb “oh this GIRL is gonna SLOW US DOWN” shit–which, if Ryuji is Typical Bro, would’ve been his reaction. He’s also extremely motivated by the mistreatment of girls, especially Ann, by Kamoshida. Also the physical abuse, of course, but his first insult tends to be calling Kamoshida a pervert and gross and whatnot which leads me to think he has a bigger problem with Kamoshida’s sexual abuse than his physical (WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING seeing as how Ryuji was a victim of the physical abuse). Ryuji is beyond impressed with Makoto and her persona’s awakening, arguably the most out of the entire team, and in full, active, vocal support of it–not to mention he literally jumps into traffic to stop a car so we can hurry and save Makoto. He is the first to run to Futaba when she falls down AND when Ann is pushing Futaba’s boundaries during the closet scene, Ryuji is very insistent that Ann should not continue. In the end we get the info we’re looking for and Futaba comes out applause all around good job Ann etc etc etc but Ryuji’s sensitivity to Futaba and her feelings was like….so refreshing to me?? Esp as someone with anxiety?? That was so touching idc if i sound like a cheeseball I KNOW IT’S A VIDEO GAME but my boy was so pure. THENNN when Haru is getting harassed, Ryuji is first to arrive (shoutout to track team and long legs) and immediately takes up a defensive position. He demands that her fiance leave her alone because she’s our friend–which, at this point in time, is basically a lie. He also is first to run to her when she falls and immediately agrees to having her rest, offering our attic as the resting place without asking (knowing there’s no problem with it) and even tho he’s been beefin’ with Morgana he puts Haru before that and works with Morgana to get Haru to safety.

And that’s just the phantom thieves girls!!! There’s so many other instances where he’s A GOOD BOY (the old lady at the station *tear*, willingly provoking the Shadows so we can escape even tho it means certain death, unashamed to share vulnerable or traditionally-considered-”weak” emotions) that I could literally go on forever. 

His obsession with girls and making comments about their bodies is like, def not ok, but in The Real World my guess is that it’s because the writers had trouble deciding what kind of person he was gonna be and tried to fit both in and tbh for me I just can’t buy it. I could buy some of it, like checking out Ann or something, but then in Hawaii when he’s talking about how the girls there are “massive” I was like ????? Ryuji would never go THAT far. In a headcanon-y space, I would say that Ryuji’s dad is obviously The Ultimate Piece of Shit and 1) didn’t give Ryuji a good idea of what a man is so 2) Ryuji no longer has a male presence in his life and thus nothing else to go off of, which means 3) in an effort to be Masculine and Become a Man during his coming-of-age age (lol), he’s just copying what he thinks is how he’s supposed to act. I also think that Ryuji’s mom is a sweet, kind lady who wouldn’t hesitate to bitch slap her son if she heard him talk about girls that way and she’s raised him to be respectful so that also contradicts his behavior. It’s not genuinely who he is–he’s so quick to tell guys to back off the girls at the beach even tho he literally just went to do the same thing–it’s just who he thinks he’s supposed to be. And we all know Ryuji struggles with self-esteem and not putting himself down, so like, he doesn’t have the ability to outright reject that notion (yet). He so often wants to be someone other than himself that he adopts this persona (haha didn’t mean to do that) thinking it’s just the way of the world. 

None of the above makes his behavior excusable AT ALL, like more than once I literally said “dude chill out” to my screen ok, but I think in game-verse it can be explained and outside of the game it can also be explained. I contend that he is still pure and good and right and the goddamn sunshine incarnate, but dude’s got flaws and some things he has to work out (and I fully believe Ann threatens and then casually DOES call his mom to tell on him one day [much to his protests and FOR REALs and ARE YOU KIDDING MEs and ANN I’M SO SORRY I PROMISE I WON’T SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN JUST DON’T TELL MY MOM] and Ryuji gets a Second Awakening when he gets home that night and never makes a lewd comment again)

((also he’s probably bi and doesn’t know how to face that yet so he’s overcompensating FIGHT ME ON THIS))

*EDIT* @defciggy pointed out the duality doesn't have to be mutually exclusive which is something I normally try to be cognizant of bc ppl are gray areas but I got a lil carried away lol so I just want to retract a little bit and say the writing isn't necessarily flawed/mistaken/poor but that the good in him is bigger than the bad

[grandcrusadenightmare]

the same ppl who never respected my boundaries/ social anxiety issues /looked at me funny for other habits, inhibitions, etc i have/had that can be attributed to my mental illnesses are all of the sudden mh experts and advocators... that's madness luv !

and that's not to confine ppl to the past and their mistakes then.. but this was fairly recently (this summer)! And I always wonder if it's my fault for not saying and my responsibility to have said.. im not okay with talking about that, that makes me uncomfortable or could you help me do this thing w/out mocking me or making me feel bad/uncomfortable abt it -- but I'm also just learning to do these things myself.. that it's ok to stand up for myself and to stand my ground.(easier said than done).. just makes me think abt whether you're actually gonna care abt ppl who have m. Illness show up in their life In ugly inconvenient ways ( like I do) and put them and their comfort before your desire to try to pry for info or stay in your comfort zone and whatnot just because... and realize I'm way more sensitive than I thought lol.. I do have a degree of carefree/carelessness attitude in life except towards the ones I love bc I trust and love them so much that when they hurt me it kind of destroys me a little bit

still figuring this stuff out I guess ....