#like I didn't really talk about them for years and then in the last three months i've just bombarded her with dnp stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

infiniteglitterfall · 9 months ago

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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

#covid isn't over #covid 19 #disability rights #disability advocacy #wear a mask #covid conscious #covid cautious #mask up #wall of words #public health #health care

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depressedskeleton · 1 year ago

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guess who's back, back again?

#this is so embarassing ngl #my trigger this time was spending a week with my dad LMAO #couldn't eat for a few days bc i was nervous around my dad and i have a school thing i'm fucking up #and i kept losing time the last two days like i had to really concentrate to get myself ready to go out #and i cried about needing a hug #(literally cried when i got back and my mom wasn't waiting for me at the train station aS IF IM NOT FUCKIN 22)#but when i got back my mom's fb got hacked and i helped her (lit rally not even helpful bc i'm only a first year it student so i just #changed passwords for my stepdad and her)#and didn't have time to be a depressed sad worm #and now im embarrassed that i ever was #like wow i didn't talk a lot for three days and kept spacing out that's so sad tell us more while mom is literally getting robbed thru the #other blue hellsite #gross #anyways i'm back im sad again i remembered im unlovable and will die alone again and i need control #also my best friends are getting engaged to each other and i feel even shittier for not being able to be happy for them bc im having a #lil temper tantrum and have to start starving myself #cool bye

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newt-and-salamander · 1 year ago

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I'm actually crying a bit rn because some if my uni friends just asked in our WhatsApp group if someone was going to CSD on Saturday. And I was super nervous because I haven't seen these guys in a bit (they are all writing their theses), but I always felt extremely comfortable with them (three of them are bi and we talked a lot and I actually considered for a few months last year if I am maybe bisexual too, because, yesss women are pretty.) Anyway. I said that I had already thought about going because I was curious, but that I also felt nervous because I've never been there before and I've only relatively recently discovered that asexuality exists and even more recently that I actually am, and that I was feeling a bit uncool.

And they immediately said "That's not uncool" and I hurried to say "Yes, of course being asexual isn't uncool, that's not what I meant", and then they said "No, you aren't uncool", and someone sent a picture of frogs in ace colours because they know I like frogs, and now they say I should just join them and I can leave if I get overwhelmed with the people and the noise (and now I'm crying again although I started typing this 30 mins ago).

Well, it looks like I'm going to my first Pride Event on Saturday. :)

#for the record I AM relatively uncool #I spend between 5 - 10 h a day at the library at least 6 days iof the week because i have no life and i take my studies RIDICULOUSLY sirious #I'm a terrible perfectionist and if that isn't uncool i don't know #but somehow they like me and they want me spend time with them :')#when that friend group formed last year i was so ELATED #i have friends but it's usual 1 to 1 relationships #I'm not usually a part of the group with the cool people #but i even celebrated my birthday with them and they think I'm funny and sometimes I'm just so confused because #of course my mum thinks I'm funny and the three nerdy friends i handpicked #but a whole group of people? wow #also they talk about sex a lot and whenever it came up and they asked me about my opinion I was like #Uhm honestly I don't know I've only been in one relationship so I guess I didn't have time to experiment or something #so I knew they are really liberal that way but paradoxically at the same time that made me even more nervous because #they are so interested in sex and i am not OH NO what if they think I'm boring #well there are many reasons to think me boring but they study with me so i guess they know about all these other reasons too #(i was the only one in the group who really enjoyed historical lectures)#okay ngl I'm still nervous #i rarely go to fairgrounds or demonstrations because of the noise and the people and this feels even more personal #but i think I will be alright :))#huh #personal thoughts #asexuality

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caramelkoo · 2 months ago

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honeysuckle

boyfriend!jungkook, established relationship, smut

summary : according to your boyfriend, a little competition won't hurt anyone especially when the game is his favorite. Making you feel good.

warnings : mature, strong language, heavy on the smut, a little fluff thrown in there, fingering, pussy slapping, he asks for consent, they're freaky, dick piercing, ass slapping, hickeys, sex in a jacuzzi, reverse cowgirl, riding, jungkook wants oc so bad, dirty talk, he calls oc sweetheart, unprotected sex. if i missed something, do let me know.

a/n : hi my loves, here’s your promised smutty treat. tbvh that picture has not left my mind ever since i saw it lmao. I love you guys so so much. You're so loved and cherished. Please don't read this in front of your parents. also @rpwprpwprpwprw was the sweetest to ask for a tag <33 xoxo

"Oh yeah baby, just like that"

"You fuck me so good"

'Take my cock like a good slut you are"

Any other day, you're all about sex positivity and letting your body get what it wants but today of all days, your neighbors want to ruin the peace that you so desperately craved.

Your boyfriend, Jungkook had left early for a business meeting promising you to come back as soon as he gets done with it. As much as you missed him, you had felt the need to have some time for yourself. You thrive on being Jungkook's girlfriend, it's all butterfly in the stomach, princess treatment kind of love but you can't lie about wishing for some alone time just for yourself. Finally, you were getting it. You had it all planned bit by bit.

Step 1 : take an everything shower

Step 2 : cook something delicious for yourself while wave to earth plays in the background

Step 3 : read a romantasy novel you've been anticipating for a long time.

Step 4 : if sleepy, sleep. If not, take out your pink best friend from the bedside drawer and seek your pleasure listening to Jungkook's voice recording you had him record the other day. It always works.

Step 3 and you're already at the verge of giving up. It appears the people next door didn't exactly like your plan and they wanted to make you realize how lonely you are. Screaming at your face, "Haha guess who's not getting a dick". God forbid if a girl wants to have quite and peaceful night while romanticizing the shit out of it.

You slam the book on the bed and sigh. For a second you consider calling Jungkook but stop when you realize that you'll only be hindering his work. What are you even going to tell him? that you can't read because your neighbors have been fucking each other for hours now? No, that's just stupid.

Taking off your reading glasses you make your way to the kitchen. If you can't get sleep tonight, you might as well give them a tough fight. When and if they decide to let their horny asses take a break and decide to doze off, they'd catch on to the fact that there's someone next door whose mama didn't raise a quitter. Immature? you don't think so.

Once the woman's voice on the speaker alerts you that your phone has been connected, you start off with your favorite go to song when you need to cry your eyes out. "Fuck to an emotional song now" you think.

Coming in terms with the fact that you might have to pull an all nighter, you begin making coffee. The word itself brings a smile on your face. Coffee, which got you through your med school. Coffee, which got you Jungkook.

If you really think about it, hadn't you mustered up the courage to go on a solo date that day and have a coffee all by yourself you wouldn't have crossed your paths with him. It's funny actually because how many couples do actually last this long after meeting at a random coffee shop?

After dating douchebags for almost three years you had taken a break from dating all together. It was high time you focused on yourself. Honestly, it's not like they were the only one who was messed up in your previous relationships. You had some parts you had to heal as well and the moment you caught up on that, you went on a journey. Journey to self love, journey to find yourself and a journey which will leave you not perfect but healed.

As for the dimwits you dated in the past, sometimes it was "why do you always have to be like this? how much more space do you need?" or, "What do you mean you don't want to have sex right now? C'mon don't be a spoilsport".

Spoilsport, your ass.

Standing up on your tippy toes, your hands reach out for the coffee container but before you could even settle your foot down on the floor, two arms circle around your waist making you gasp in utter shock.

The need to defend yourself takes so strongly over you that you don't even turn around in order to check the person before your elbow connects with their nose.

When you finally do, you can't stop the scream from leaving your mouth. Your face all red and your eyes as big as saucers.

You panic, "JUNGKOOK?"

When you see blood oozing out of his left nostril after he lifts his face, you mentally curse your sister for forcing you to take self defense classes.

"What's with the song, sweetheart?"

"I told you you were gonna be my death someday but who knew it was gonna be tonight"

After cleaning up his nose and giving him a cup of coffee, you both were now sitting on the couch. You had turned off the music, though. God knew it was not making the situation any better.

You take a sip before speaking, "Oh, don't be dramatic. Who comes home like this and at this hour?"

"My flight was late, sweetheart. I wanted to get to you much sooner but destiny had plans--" he gets cut off as his eyebrows crease in wonder.

"What was that?"

"The neighbors. They have been going at it for hours now" you shake your head in disbelief.

"For hours? That's some stamina I must say" he breaks out in a fit of laughter as you place your cup on the table in front of you.

Turning towards him you ask, "You find this funny? I haven't been able to sleep because of them"

Your voice comes out a bit whiny and you wonder if you're acting a bit childish.

"Oh, sweetheart. How about this, I take a quick shower and we cuddle to sleep" a mixture of warmth and concern crossing his face.

Your smile is wide when you say, "I'd love that"

Jungkook finishes his coffee and pecks your lips as he saunters towards the bathroom. However, when he turns back and says the most unforeseen thing, your silly mind doesn't even think twice.

"Actually, _____. Why don't you join me?"

Bubbles form inside the jacuzzi as smoke fills your surroundings. The smell of warm water hits your nose making it feel tingly. Your stomach is doing summersaults as your boyfriend lets you down inside the water, heart skipping a beat.

Only when Jungkook lets himself sit on the other side of the tub, you can finally take a deep breath. His eyes never leaving yours. When you're with him, there's nothing you care about. Not your horny neighbors, not the world, nothing. It's just him and his presence that lights you up. A smile that could rival the sun.

Him.

Your fingers play with the water as you try to make a conversation. This moment right here, is peak level of intimacy for you. You're both naked, exposed and vulnerable yet you've never felt safer. Not to mention how you feel like a high school girl trying to talk to his crush.

When you were young, the bathroom was the only place you could run and cry in and no one judged you. The four walled room provided more comfort than people in your life. It holds memories but when you moved in with your boyfriend, you left those at your old house. To rot, because what else?

With him, every corner, every space in your house feels pure and blissful. It’s filled with laughter, moans and him.

Jungkook's legs are lightly brushing yours every now and then, the movement sending shivers down your spine. What's happening to you?

"So, how was the business trip?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how funny is it that you wanna talk about business while looking like that and all I wanna do is fuck that sweet mouth of yours because of how much I missed it?"

You shudder, the effect he has on you is beyond belief and now with the expression crossing his face, pure lust and longing, it's as though somebody has set your whole body on fire. A mix of hot and cold feeling running through your veins.

"Jungkook"

"Come here"

"Wh-"

He cuts you off, "Come here, sweetheart. Come to me before I lose my ever loving mind'

You don't have an option other than to scoot your way towards him. He positions your body between his legs, his taut and muscular chest touching your wet back.

Wetness pools between your legs as his hardness presses at your lower hip just above your ass. Your pussy throbs with need and you stop yourself from reaching down to relieve that tension.

His fingers ever so lightly graze over your arm, frequently making drawings on it.

"How long did you say they were going at it?"

You look at him, "About three hours. Why?"

He's up to something. You can feel it in your bones.

"Do you think they're still gonna be able to fuck each other after hearing your screams through the wall, sweetheart?"

Fuck. The idea of making them listen to you while your boyfriend fucks you into oblivion doesn't sound so bad. You missed him, you missed being in his arms and you missed him being inside you as well. So, where's the harm in that?

"You wanna give them a show? Let them know how well your man fucks you?"

The moan that leaves her as she lets her head fall back heavy on his chest tells him everything her words can't.

"Jungkook, please. It's been so long" she cries out.

She stirs making herself more comfortable but that just makes him hiss through his teeth as her ass grazes his cock, the metal on the tip leaving a cool sensation. He's not gonna give in easily though. He will make her earn that release.

His hands cup her tits, fully covering them and they fit so perfectly in his hands. Heavy, full, perfect. As if they're made just for him to suck, him to cup, him to cum on, him to leave purple love bites on.

"I know, sweetheart. Do you wanna know what I kept thinking about while I was away?" his voice trails off, "I kept thinking about how bad I wanna fuck your throat"

The sound that leaves her is filled with need.

"Jungkook, baby please."

He trails his hands down her chest and stomach before it reaches her pussy. Just around her clit. His finger are soft and light, not putting pressure when all she wants is for him to give her the release she so badly craves.

Jungkook's cock is already leaking with precum and his balls ache. He missed his girl so fucking much, so much that he lost count of how many times he had fucked his hand while thinking of her while he was away. When his colleagues saw his flushed face, he had no other option than to blame it on the cold weather.

His finger slide down and back up her slit, making her visibly shiver.

Shit. He's not gonna last long if she keeps making those noises.

"How many finger do you want, _____?" he asks as repeats the same motion.

His mouth comes on her in a searing kiss, it's possessive, passionate, burning and everything nasty. He's straight up claiming her mouth as her tongue tangles with his own.

Pulling back he waits for her response, "Two. Please"

Following her command, his two fingers slide inside her. He tightens the hold on her stomach to have her stay in place when she bucks her hips forward.

She screams.

"That's my girl"

He slides his finger out before sinking it deep inside her cunt again. Crooking them in such a way that he hits her g-spot. Desperate moans fill the room mixing with the steam coming out of the hot water. Her hands ghost over his, fastening his pace.

"You want it faster, sweetheart?"

"Yes, much faster. I wanna cum so bad"

Happy to give her what she wants, he begins rubbing at her clit while his other fingers work their way in and out her wet cunt.

"Oh my fucking god"

"That's right. Get what you want. Such a good girl for me"

He's an animal at this point as he tries to mark her his more than she already is. Jungkook has always been open about sex with his girlfriend, his needs, his wants, his desires and she'd done the same. You compliment each other perfectly. It's easier that way, not leaving any room for doubts.

She like dirty talk, he gives it to her.

When her hips lift forward matching his thrusts, he smirks. Biting her slender neck as she chases her orgasm.

"Aghh"

It finally happens, her hands grasp his even more tightly, other hand gripping the edge of the jacuzzi as she lets out a scream. Her breath fastens as sweat beads her forehead, Jungkook never stopping with his praises.

When she settles back down between his legs, he takes his finger out and sucks them clean. Brown eyes never leaving hers.

"Do you think they heard us, sweetheart?"

Her laughter brings smile to his face, "You're crazy"

"And you're mine" He pecks her cheek, letting his lips linger there for a bit. Basking in the feeling of her love's skin against his lips.

At the beginning of your relationship when you were just getting comfortable with intimacy, jungkook loved kissing her cheek. It was his way of showing her that she's adored by him. Then he realised that quite frankly, it's her. He likes kissing so much because it's her that he's kissing.

He holds her for a while before speaking up, "You wanna help me with a problem?"

He doesn't need to tell her twice but soon as her next words leave her mouth, he takes a double take.

"Sit on the edge and I'll suck you off" he hears her say as she kneels before him.

"Later" he grabs her by her shoulders as he positions her back between his legs. This time facing him.

Her legs wrap around his waist and his thick cock presses against her navel. He knows how badly she wanted to take him into her mouth and he could have let her do that only if he was strong enough to resist himself from sinking deep inside her.

"Now, I wanna fuck you. Raw and nice just like my girlfriend deserves" his voice comes out breathy.

"I love you"

"Me too, sweetheart. More than you know" he assures.

Knowing he can't take it anymore, he lifts her up and sits her body down on his cock. Slowly by slowly as she moans her way through it. ____'s head falls into the crook of his neck and his grip tightens on the curve of her waist. The ampallang piercing multiplies the pleasure tenfold as you both roll your eyes at the back of your head.

Jungkook got madly drunk the other day and came back with a dick piercing which resulted in her getting mad at him and him fucking her to show how good it gets with it.

Having said that, he presses a searing kiss on her lips and his breath knocks out of his chest in the process. It's almost like he's dreaming. The feel of her body on him, his cock deep inside ____, her arms caging him. It all feels surreal. At this point, the neighbors are long forgotten. It's you and him now.

He takes one of her sensitive buds in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. Moving it in circular motions.

The next few seconds involve him spanking her ass as if he wants to leave marks, him guiding her up and down his cock as she bounces and giving her frequent kisses. Wet slapping noises fill the entire room as his balls ache with need.

"So good, baby. You feel so fucking good. Wrapped around me like this while I fuck you good, huh?" he slaps her pussy lightly.

Thrust Thrust Thrust

As she falls back again into his arms, crying loudly with utter pleasure, he tightens his hold on her body. Hugging her close as both of your heartbeats sync together.

"Thank you for letting me love you, sweetheart. Thank you for coming into my boring ass life and filling it with laughter. Fuck"

Your sweaty and now tired bodies are wrapped around each other as you both revel in the warmth of intimacy.

He lets out a grown followed by her whine and before he can say anything, you’re both cumming together, sighing and kissing as you come down your high.

A chaste kiss is pressed on her forehead, "So perfect, my girl"

"That was…" you bite your lip.

"Amazing, I know" he says as he mindlessly plays with her black locks.

his hands rub her back. "Sweetheart, I want one more from you"

"One more?"

"Yeah, this time I wanna see your beautiful back. Will you do it for me?"

He tries to ask her as gently as possible. Pride filling his chest when he sees her nod.

Guiding her up with the support of her knees he sits her down on his lap, his balls brushing against her clit as he sinks back inside her. A man can only take so much before he snaps. This was the moment for him. His girl's back glistens in the most beautiful way ever. Sweat droplets mixed with water dripping down her spine that he can’t help but kiss.

"Fuck baby, you look like a goddess right now." he halts,

"So warm"

Trailing his hands up the back of her neck he threads his fingers through her hair, gripping it lightly but also putting enough pressure just so she can feel a sweet pain.

His heart skips another beat when she starts moving forward and then backwards, teasing him. Her movements are painfully slow. He wants to ask ____ to move faster but at the same time, he also wants to make this special for her.

So, he waits and watches her back arch as he feels like the luckiest man in the world.

"Jungkook" she moans his name, holding on to his thigh as he pounds into her from the back. It’s even deeper now, his cock hitting places he’d never hit before. Jungkook mentally thanks himself for trying out this new position because he’d just about take any chance to feel more connected to ____.

Just when his stomach contracts and hardens, he asks, "____ I’m gonna need you to spread those ass wider. I’m very close"

When she hums in response he gently pushes her upper body so that it’s flat on his legs, immediately letting him see more of ____'s ass. Her asshole clearly visible to him. It’s such a vulnerable position that you’re both in. Her more than him.

He has to ask her, "Sweetheart, if you don’t feel comfortable we can always stop, alright? You just have to ask"

Her whiney voice reaches his ears, "I’m okay, baby. Just- Just fuck me"

So, he does. His hips thrust forward as he fucks her mercilessly, letting her have the pleasure. She moans, he moans, she cries out, he groans. It’s unbelievably perfect. His hands roam over her smooth back, her ass and even down to her pussy. Both bodies working in a graceful sync.

Suddenly, it’s like the earth comes to a stop. His hands grip his hair while the other one grips hers. His stomach hardens, balls tightening and the moment _____ clenches around his cock, he cums inside of her. Filling her up with hot, white liquid. She follows him soon enough.

"I fucking love this body of yours"

She straightens up and lets her wet body fall heavy on his chest seeking warmth and his arms around her. He’s more than happy to do so. His muscular arms bring her closer to his chest as he relaxes.

Before the next words leave his mouth, he has to make sure ____ is sound asleep.

"I can’t wait to ask you to marry me, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you in that white dress walking towards me like the angel you are"

He hopes she says yes, he hopes the ring brings the biggest smile on her face.

He hopes.

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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 5 months ago

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Love Me Again

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: smut

Exes to lovers - this was requested so I hope you like it!!

To be completely honest, Lando doesn't even know what happened that night one year ago. He knows very well that he drank too much, got drunk like never before and that the next day he lost you.

You came to his apartment and found a hair band in the bathroom that wasn't yours. Lando knew whose hair tie it was, but he tried to hide it from you and convince you that it was yours. Of course with that, he only made things worse. The fact that he decided to lie about it hurt you even more.

You threatened to leave him immediately if he didn't tell you what happened the night before and who spent the night in his apartment. It didn't take long for Lando to break down and tearfully tell you that one of his girl friends spent the night at his place after going out. The morning after, he barely remembered anything, but he could have sworn that he hadn't even kissed her, let alone slept with her.

His only fault was that he brought her with him to the apartment and let her sleep there, but even that was more than enough for you to break your heart into a thousand pieces.

You knew which female friend it was. You never even liked her and even though Lando always told you that you had no reason to be jealous, it annoyed you that she was throwing herself at him every chance she got when the two of you were together.

She was too close to him for your liking and then when you heard that she was the one who slept over at his place that night when he was dead drunk, it was over for you.

Lando cried, despaired, begged you to forgive him for months, trying to convince you that for him there was only you, but you couldn't get over your pride and forgive him. In the end, you even believed him that maybe there really wasn't anything between the two of them, but the trust was broken between the two of you and it couldn't be fixed anymore.

Since you two were together for two and a half years before you broke up, you were very close to his family. They adored you and considered you a member of the family. They couldn't believe that you broke up, even they begged you to forgive him, but even though you decided not to, you still remained on good terms with them and continued to hang out from time to time.

And just like that you found yourself on a huge luxury yacht celebrating Mila's third (idk how old is she??) birthday together with Lando and his family. It was a three-day celebration in the small circle of family and for the sake of that you decided to remain calm and behave normally around Lando.

It wasn't easy for you to be so close to him yet so far away. It was even worse for him, but he enjoyed having you around. Of course he tried in every way to reach you, approach you, talk to you, he did everything just to get your attention. From time to time he would succeed, you would find it funny how he tried everything, so you would give in and engage into a conversation with him.

On the last night, everyone went to bed pretty early because they were exhausted from celebrating, swimming and sunbathing for the past three days, but you weren't so exhausted, so you decided to stay in the lounge area of the yacht and be with yourself for a while. The sky was beautiful, full of shining stars and the feeling was so peaceful. You closed your eyes for a moment, but not for long because you were soon startled by none other than Lando's voice.

"You decided to sleep under the sky tonight?" He asked making himself comfortable on the sofa next to you.

"No, I was just enjoying looking at it."

"With your eyes closed?" He mocked.

"What else do you want other than to disturb my peace?" You roll your eyes sitting up from the lying position.

"I was very hot, so I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd come here to the pool to cool off" He says looking at the pool in front of you.

"It's like" You take a look at your phone to check the time. "Almost 1 a.m. and you're going to get in the pool now?"

"Yeah, wanna join me?" He smirks.

"No, thank you." You laugh rolling your eyes at him again.

He gets up from the sofa and begins to remove his shorts, leaving only his boxers on. You were a little embarrassed and you didn't expect him to start undressing in front of you, so you cleared your throat and looked away.

"C'mon, it's nothing you haven't seen before, y/n" He mocks seeing how flushed your cheeks got.

"I'm going to my room, you have fun" You say getting up and fixing your oversized t-shirt that served as your night gown.

"No, come on, stay, keep me company." He pleaded before stepping into the pool. "Please?"

It didn't take long for him to persuade you to stay, because you secretly wanted to, you just didn't want to admit it so you sat down on the edge of the pool dipping your feet into the water as you watched him slowly threw himself in. Diving under the water he swam closer to you.

"You enjoying yourself?" You ask paddling your feet.

"It would be even better if you jumped in with me" He says placing his hands on the edge on either side of you.

"Not a chance" You resist pushing him a little with your feet. He chuckles biting his lip and taking your foot in his hand pulling you to himself a little.

"Lando, don't you dare" You warn him when you feel yourself slide down a little.

"You're not wearing any shorts?" He asks tilting his head to the side to peek under your t-shirt. You gasp quickly closing your legs and pulling your shirt down.

"You're so inappropriate, get away from me" You push his chest with your feet pushing him away from yourself only for to swim back to you again.

"Did you have any fun these past three days?" He asked curiously.

"I did, I have always enjoyed spending time with your family. It was good to see everyone again."

"Even me?"

You stop and sigh softly at his question not wanting to look him in the eye. it still hurts, stings. You'd be lying if you said you weren't glad to see him. You still love him after all, but you're still not sure if you want to forgive him.

"I'd rather not answer that"

He can't hide the hurt look in his eyes after your statement, but he also doesn't want to push you away from him by bringing certain topics up again.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but I had a talk with Mila today and she told me that I am all you talk about. She says it's getting too much even for her to listen to you" Lando being Lando, of course, turns everything into a joke just to lighten the mood. You can't help but burst out laughing at the nonsense that he was saying just to say something.

"There we go, that's the laugh I wanted to hear" You blush at his caring words hiding your face in your shoulder. He takes a risk and places his hands over your knees slowly pulling them apart to stand between them and you surprise both of you when you let him.

"Lando.." You sigh hesitantly when he slowly puts his hands on your waist and pulls you closer to him.

"Please, let me" Before you could even ask him let you what?, he pulled you down into the pool with him. You gasped and your skin crawled as the slightly cold water soaked your t-shirt making it clung to your body.

"Oh my God, oh my God!" You were breathing rapidly trying to grab the edge to get out, but Lando pulled you by your waist closer to his body.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay"

"You're completely crazy" Your mouth complains, but your body responds differently to his touch especially when he moves one of his hands from your hip to your leg making them wrap around his torso.

"That's better" He says quietly glancing at your lips. You have to admit you feel a little uncomfortable, especially with his lips less than two centimeters away from yours. You haven't been this physically close to each other in over a year and you've almost forgotten what it feels like to feel his skin on yours. "It's just me" He whispers and it somehow calms you down when you remember that it's Lando, your Lando.

"Lando, you can't do this.." You say, but wrap your arms around his neck hiding your gaze in the crook of his neck. Your gesture encourages him so he hugs you tighter and gently kisses you on the cheek.

"Baby, I miss you so much" Your heart trembles at his choice of words. "I'm losing my mind without you" His voice breaks when you look at him and he moves your hair out of your face. Your fingers make gentle circular motions over the back of his head as you press your foreheads together.

"I swear only hope that one day you'll love me again keeps me sane" He continues.

"I've never even stopped" You quietly confess.

Even if he tried, he couldn't describe the feeling of hearing that from your mouth. He felt as if he had come alive again after such a long time.

He couldn't hold back anymore, everything in him was dying to feel you, to kiss you so he crashed his lips against yours and kissed you the way you kiss a person you love more than your life, but haven't been able to touch in more than a year.

You didn't even think about resisting anymore, you gave in and kissed him back with the same force. He walked with your legs still wrapped around him to the edge of the pool pressing against you with your back against it. His hands quickly slipped under your shirt exploring your body again after so long enjoying the sound of your moans.

"Please..please tell me that no one..has touched you..no one but me" His voice was quivering as he tried to get the question out to which he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer to.

Lando was your first. First in everything basically. And he was so proud of it. He loved your innocence and the fact that no one had ever made you feel the way he did. You were all his and that's why he had a particularly strong protective feeling towards you. And he probably would lose his mind if he heard that someone else had touched something that only belonged to him.

"No one but you" You panted making him go feral.

His hands went under your butt gripping it before his fingertips moved your panties aside. He grinded his crotch into yours nibbling at the skin of your neck.

"Lan.." You moaned wanting more, but hating to ask for it. Luckily he knows your body like the back of his hand and knows what you need very well so he slipped his middle finger inside of you. One was soon replaced by two making you throw your head back giving him full access to bite and suck on your neck.

"Fuck.." He hissed as the aching feeling in his cock kicked in desperately needing to be touched. "Baby, I need to feel you or else I'm going to explode" He grunts.

"Let's get out of the pool, yeah? We can't fuck in here"

He lifted you up from the water sitting you onto the edge before getting out of the pool himself. You took off your wet shirt leaving yourself only in soaked panties and a bra. He looked you in from head to toe before pulling you to him and laying you down on the sofa hovering over you.

As he pulled his boxers down and his cock sprung off you looked down at him with a slight concern in your gaze and he noticed it.

"What, baby? Is everything okay?" He asked leaning down to kiss you caressing your cheek.

"Yeah, it's just..it's been a while.." His gaze softened and he smiled pressing a kiss to your forehead to calm you down.

"We'll take it slow, okay?" He assured you. He pulled down your bra taking your tits out and attaching his lips around your nipples and with every passing second of him doing so you were getting wetter and wetter. He then took his cock in his hand rubbing his tip over your pussy up and down a few times hissing at the sensation.

He stopped at the center and felt you getting nervous as your breathing quickened. "It's alright, baby, I know you want this, I can feel how wet you are. I'll go slow, I promise."

He slowly pushed the tip in planting kisses along your jawline to distract you from the pain. He pushed a little further and you squeezed your eyes whimpering and holding your hands against his chest.

"It hurts Lan, it's too big.." You cried out trying to close your legs so he put his hand on your cheek gently caressing it. It took everything in him not to cum right away at you complimenting his length.

"Shh, I know, baby, but you have to let me in okay? We'll make it fit, yeah? Like we always used to" He cooed you pushing your legs further apart. "Just a little bit more and it's fully in. You can take it, love, I know you can."

Little by little and he pushed all of himself in staying still until you felt comfortable enough for him to move. "That's it, just like that, baby, always such a good girl for me" He was so impatient to fuck you, to cum all over or inside you it didn't matter to him, but he decided to take his time with you because he wanted you to feel good above everything else.

Once the pain was replaced by the feeling of pleasure, he started thrusting in deep and fast stretching you out in the way only he knew how. When you felt confident enough you wrapped your legs around his torso to push him even deeper.

"Does it feel good?" He asked and you nodded. "This reminds me so much of that time I fucked you on the couch in my parent's house."

"Ohh, Lando” You moaned.

"Where anybody could've walked in on us and see me pounding you from behind. Fuck, you have no idea how much this turns me on.." He groaned.

"I missed all of you, missed fucking you, feeling you squeeze my cock, playing with your pussy, oh" His words were coming out as broken sobs struggling to last as long as possible. "I feel you clenching are you almost there, love?"

"So close"

"Yeah? You're drenching my cock baby. You're so tight, fuck, I'm gonna cum in seconds."

"Ohh..yes yes, ahh"

"Oh shit baby.." Once he saw you slide you hand down to your clit and start playing with it, he lost it. His body shuddered, his cock twitched inside you and he came undone. He kept moving slowly until both of you rode out your orgasms.

When both of you came to your senses he started hugging you and kissing you as if you were going to run away every second. You leaned your head to the side and watched him smiling.

"So..does this mean you're mine again?" He asks tracing his fingertips over your collarbones.

"It does not, but" You emphasize. "If you try a bit harder maybe you can change my mind"

"Understood. Let's get you cleaned up for round two then"

"Lando, that's not what I meant…”

#lando x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fluff #lando norris #lando norris smut #lando norris imagine #f1 smut #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 blurb #f1 fluff #f1 x reader #formula 1

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

Text

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book....#coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book”#i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

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chosok-amo · 2 months ago

Text

YOU WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE WORLDS BIGGEST IDIOT : GOJO SATORU, GETO SUGURU

the first time you meet your senior, GOJO SATORU, GETO SUGURU . . . you think they are the weirdest and most idiots person you've ever met, especially that special kid, gojo satoru.

warning : fluff

w/c : 7,8k | [☆] MASTERLIST

THE FIRST MEETING

you were walking to the mall with yuu haibara and nanami kento, enjoying the break from school and missions. as the three of you strolled down the busy streets, yuu was excitedly chattering about all the things he wanted to do at the mall, when he suddenly said, “oh, by the way, we're meeting some of our upperclassmen today! and i heard you know shoko ieiri?”

you nodded, recalling the times your father made you visit jujutsu high before you officially enrolled. shoko was always there, casually smoking or chatting with some of the older students, and she was one of the first people to welcome you with her relaxed demeanor and dry humor. but as for the others you were supposed to meet today, you didn't really know them—just heard bits and pieces from conversations around school.

“geto suguru and gojo satoru, right?” nanami groaned at the mention of their names, rubbing his temples as if he could already feel a headache coming on. “great, just what we needed... gojo-unbearable-satoru and his sidekick.”

you chuckled, not entirely sure what to expect but amused by nanami's reaction. “are they really that bad?” you asked, curious since you’d only ever heard that they were an insanely strong duo, both special grade sorcerers, which was a big deal considering their age.

“they’re both ridiculously powerful, but gojo is... gojo,” nanami said, his tone dripping with exasperation, “geto’s alright, i guess. but gojo's insufferable.”

as you arrived at the mall, you spotted shoko first, leaning against the wall near the entrance with her phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. beside her stood two guys who had to be the infamous geto and gojo. geto looked calm, with long hair tied up and a gentle smile on his face. gojo, on the other hand, had that cocky grin and his signature sunglasses, radiating an aura of arrogance even from a distance.

“there they are,” yuu pointed out cheerfully, waving at the trio.

you hesitated for a moment but followed yuu and nanami as they approached the group. shoko spotted you and gave a small wave, her expression softening slightly. “hey, you made it,” she greeted you, her tone as laid-back as ever.

as you and the other first years finally approached, geto and gojo turned their attention toward you all. gojo was the first to speak, eyes hidden behind his dark sunglasses as he shamelessly scanned you from head to toe. he had that smirk—the kind that screamed he thought he was better than everyone else—and he leaned forward, one hand still stuffed casually in his pocket.

“hey, so this is the new kid?” he drawled, his tone light but with an unmistakable hint of mockery. geto nudged him, a silent warning flashing in his eyes, but gojo barely seemed to notice, too caught up in his own amusement.

you raised an eyebrow, already unimpressed. you’d heard all about gojo satoru from your family—the endless talk about his six eyes and his bullshit special grade powers like he was some kind of walking legend. honestly, you’d had enough of that nonsense to last a lifetime.

crossing your arms, you met his smirk with one of your own, not backing down in the slightest. “wow, the great gojo satoru, huh? must be exhausting, carrying around all that ego,” you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm, “heard so much about you—mostly that you’re just an arrogant prick with some fancy eyes.”

gojo blinked, a flicker of surprise breaking through his smug expression, but it quickly turned into a grin. “oh, i like this one,” he said, clearly entertained by your sass. “she’s got some fire.” nanami and yuu couldn't believe what they were hearing, their eyes widening at your boldness. gojo, however, seemed to delight in the fact that you were snapping back at him instead of cowering away like most people did.

he leaned in closer, a sly smile on his lips as he looked down at you, his sunglasses hiding his eyes but the mischief in them was palpable, “well, well, well... the little first year has some bite.” geto watched with amusement, leaning against the wall and hiding a smirk behind his hand.

geto chuckled softly, giving you a knowing look as if to say he was used to this kind of reaction toward gojo. “don’t mind him,” geto said, his tone much gentler, “he likes to push buttons.”

“yeah, well, he’s not pushing mine,” you said with a shrug, refusing to let gojo’s attitude get to you. you weren’t about to be intimidated by some guy who thought he was untouchable. if he wanted to play that game, you’d play right back, with just as much sass and zero tolerance for his bullshit.

gojo laughed, a sound that was as arrogant as it was charming. he liked you. you were different from other people he’d met, and to say he was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.

“oh, i like this one,” he repeated, his smile widening. “she’s not scared of me, suguru. it’s refreshing.” geto chuckled again, shaking his head slightly, “yeah, she's not intimidated by your god complex,“ he teased.

as the six of you strolled through the mall, browsing shops and occasionally stopping when something caught yuu’s eye, you couldn’t help but notice how geto and gojo kept glancing at you, their heads tilting toward each other as they whispered and smirked like they were sharing some inside joke. it was irritating, really—especially gojo, who seemed to be making it his personal mission to get under your skin.

you tried your best to ignore them, pretending to be engrossed in whatever store display was nearby, but you could feel their eyes on you, that smug energy radiating off of gojo like a beacon. he’d throw out little comments here and there, light jabs that were clearly meant to see if you’d react.

“so, what’s your deal, huh?” gojo suddenly said, breaking the conversation you were having with nanami about some new movie. he fell into step beside you, leaning in with that same annoying smirk. “you’ve got quite the attitude for a first year. something to prove, maybe?”

you rolled your eyes, not even bothering to look at him as you continued walking. “and you’ve got quite the mouth for someone who’s supposed to be ‘all-powerful,’” you shot back, keeping your tone casual but laced with a bite, “maybe try using it for something other than annoying people for once.”

geto snickered softly from behind, clearly entertained by your responses, while gojo just grinned wider, like he was enjoying every second of your defiance. “oh, come on, don’t be like that,” gojo said, pretending to pout. “we’re just trying to get to know you. you’re kinda fun when you’re not glaring at us.”

the entire time, yuu was stuck between looking like an excited kid in a candy store and watching the interaction between you and gojo like he was watching a tennis match. seeing someone stand up to gojo’s arrogance was a rare sight, especially for someone as much younger as you.

nanami, on the other hand, was simply exhausted by the whole thing, his eyes narrowed as he looked at gojo and muttered something that sounded like ‘annoying prick.’ while gojo continued his verbal banter, geto quietly watched.

“yeah, fun,” you muttered, your patience wearing thin, “or maybe i just have a low tolerance for bullshit.” gojo laughed, the sound loud and obnoxious, drawing a few stares from passersby. “guess we’ll just have to see how low that tolerance really is,” he teased, nudging geto, “bet i can make them snap by the end of the day.”

you stopped walking, finally turning to face him with an unimpressed look. “oh, please,” you said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “if you think i’m gonna lose my cool over some smug, overconfident special grade who thinks the world revolves around him, you’re in for a long day, gojo.”

for a split second, you thought you saw a flicker of surprise in his eyes, but he quickly covered it with another grin. geto chuckled again, nudging gojo as if to tell him to ease up. “looks like you’ve met your match, satoru.”

“yeah, yeah,” gojo waved him off, still smirking. “but that’s what makes it interesting, right?” you just rolled your eyes again, turning away from them to continue walking. if gojo thought he was gonna get the better of you, he was sorely mistaken. you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing you snap—not today, not ever.

by now, nanami was silently rooting for you not to let gojo get under your skin. yuu was practically vibrating with excitement, enjoying the spectacle like it was a circus show. and geto—geto was clearly entertained, barely holding back a smile behind his hand as he watched you brush off gojo’s attempts to rile you up.

despite your outwardly unbothered demeanor, gojo was not about to back down. he loved a challenge, and there was something about your attitude that intrigued him.

so he continued, throwing out more snide comments and subtle jabs.

YOU AND GAKUGANJI'S GUITAR

ever since that first meeting at the mall, geto and gojo had made it their mission to annoy you every single day. they always found a way to tease you or mess with you, and it felt like they had some kind of radar for whenever you were in a decent mood, swooping in just to ruin it. and it didn’t help that your classmates started hanging out with them more, dragging you into their chaos whether you liked it or not.

you’d tried to brush them off, but they were relentless—gojo especially, always throwing some sarcastic comment or smug remark your way, while geto would watch with an amused smile, occasionally adding his own little quip that was just enough to push your buttons. it was like a game to them, and you were the unwilling participant.

one afternoon, you’d finally had enough and decided to take some time alone, venturing into the forest to clear your head. you needed some peace, some quiet, and more than anything, a break from those two idiots who always seemed to find you no matter where you went. but it wasn’t just for relaxation; you were digging for something with a shovel in hand, trying to keep your mind focused and away from the usual annoyances. the quiet, the solitude—it was exactly what you needed.

you were deep into your task, almost losing track of time, when suddenly you heard a voice behind you—smooth and way too familiar.

“what’re you digging for, a body?” geto’s voice rang out, and before you could even register it, you jumped, letting out a scream as the shovel slipped from your grasp and clattered to the ground. your heart raced, and you whipped around to find geto standing there, his expression half-amused, half-surprised at your reaction. geto and gojo stood there, both grinning like they’d just won the lottery. gojo was barely holding back laughter, while geto wore that usual smug smile, clearly pleased with himself for catching you off guard.

“damn it, geto!” you snapped, pressing a hand to your chest to steady your breathing. “are you trying to give me a heart attack? what the hell are you doing here?”

gojo snickered, leaning against a tree with that same insufferable grin. “we were just taking a walk and saw you out here,” he said, clearly not sorry at all. “but now i’m curious—what are you digging for? burying evidence or something?”

you huffed, quickly realizing that your attempts to have a moment of peace were quickly being ruined by the two special grades who had a habit of making your life more difficult.

you crossed your arms, trying to regain your composure and glare at them defiantly, but your heart was still racing from being startled. “none of your business,” you grumbled, turning away to pick up the shovel.

gojo snickered again, leaning against the tree and looking like he was enjoying himself way too much. “aww, no need to be so defensive,” he teased. geto’s eyes flicked to the electric guitar lying on the ground near the hole you were digging, and he immediately recognized it. a smirk tugged at his lips as he leaned closer, arms folded casually.

“is that gakuganji’s guitar?” geto asked, his tone filled with amusement.

your movements froze instantly, your back still to them, slightly bent over as you were mid-dig. the tension in the air shifted, and even gojo raised an eyebrow, the smirk on his face growing wider as he realized the significance of geto’s question.

you let out a frustrated sigh, your gaze darting between geto and gojo as you tried to keep your composure. the shovel felt heavy in your hand, and you shifted uncomfortably, suddenly very aware of how ridiculous this all looked.

“it’s not his guitar,” you said, forcing yourself to sound casual despite the nervous tremor in your voice. you avoided eye contact, focusing on the ground as if it held the answers to your predicament. “i—uh, I just found it here.”

geto raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying your story, while gojo’s grin grew even wider, clearly relishing the situation. “oh really?” geto said, his tone skeptical. “just found it, huh? out here in the middle of nowhere?”

gojo let out a barking laugh, unable to contain his amusement any longer. "oh, this is rich," he snickered, clearly enjoying your obvious lie.

geto chuckled softly, shaking his head in disbelief. “seriously? you really think we’d believe that?” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “out here, in the middle of the forest, you just happened to stumble upon the esteemed gakuganji’s prized guitar?”

gojo leaned against the tree again, still snickering. “nice try, but you’re gonna have to do better than that.” you scowled, feeling your patience snap as gojo and geto continued to mock you. their laughter and disbelief were grating on your nerves, and you couldn’t hold back your frustration any longer.

“fine,” you snapped, turning to face them fully with a fierce glare. “it is his guitar. that old bitch was pissing me off today and i hate him, so i took it. happy now?”

a moment of shocked silence followed your admission, the duo clearly not expecting such a straightforward response.

gojo’s laughter faded as he stood up straight, his smirk becoming more intrigued than mocking. “seriously?” he said, his eyes flickering between you and the guitar. “you really took his guitar just to mess with him? that’s ballsy.”

geto stayed quiet for a moment, eyeing you with a mix of surprise and admiration. “you really don’t like being pushed around, do you?” you crossed your arms and scowled at the two of them, clearly fed up with their reactions but unable to mask your irritation.

“hey, he was a bitch, okay?” you snapped. “he’s just lucky i only took his guitar and didn’t yank out all those hairs on his face. i’ve got more patience than he deserves.” gojo's grin returned, wider than before, clearly impressed by your audacity. “damn, you really don't hold back, do you?” he chuckled.

geto chuckled softly as well, shaking his head with a mix of amusement and disbelief. “never a dull moment with you around,” he muttered.

you shrugged, focusing on your digging as if the ground was the most fascinating thing you’d ever seen. “yeah, well, some of us don’t have time for polite small talk,” you said with a hint of a smile. “i prefer getting things done, even if it means ruffling a few feathers.”

you gave them a quick glance before returning to your work, feeling a bit more at ease now that you knew they weren’t completely against you.

despite their initial surprise, gojo and geto chuckled, clearly enjoying your defiant attitude. they exchanged amused glances.

“ruffling feathers is an understatement, i think,” gojo said, leaning back against the tree again. “you're more like a tornado that just blows through everything in sight.”

geto nodded in agreement, his smirk softening into a smile. “but it's definitely entertaining.” gojo snickered, leaning against the tree once more. “feisty, rude, and unpredictable,” he noted. “you're definitely a unique one, that's for sure.”

geto chuckled softly, looking at you with a hint of admiration in his gaze. “looks like there's more to you than meets the eye,” he said, a small smirk playing on his lips. you rolled your eyes, feigning annoyance at their comments, but deep down, a small part of you was secretly enjoying the attention. it was the first time they'd actually given you a compliment—even if it was backhanded—and it didn't completely suck.

“oh, please,” you muttered, digging with more force than needed. “don't suddenly start being nice to me—it's weird.”

but gojo just chuckled, undeterred by your dismissive tone. “oh, we're not being nice,” he teased. “we're just stating facts.”

geto nodded in agreement, a smile still on his face. “like it or not, you've caught our attention,“ he said, his tone playful. “you're not easy to ignore, you know.” you turned to face them, your cheeks flushed with a mix of irritation and embarrassment. your glare was as sharp as you demanded, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

gojo shrugged casually, clearly enjoying the effect his words were having on you. “it means you're interesting,” he said with a smirk. “we keep an eye on things that pique our interest.”

geto leaned against a tree opposite to gojo, his arms crossed as he added, “and you, y/n, have definitely piqued our interest.” you felt your eyes widen, and your cheeks started to heat up as the realization sank in. “shut up,” you muttered, trying to sound annoyed but unable to completely hide the embarrassment in your voice.

gojo chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “aw, looks like someone's blushing,” he teased, his smirk growing wider.

geto's smile turned into a soft chuckle as he watched you try to brush off their comments. “it's cute when you get flustered,” he remarked, his tone light and playful. you grumbled under your breath, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as gojo and geto’s teasing continued. their comments were starting to get on your last nerve, and you were done playing along.

“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” you muttered, barely hiding your irritation as you turned away from them.

without another word, you took the shovel and, with a determined swing, cut the guitar in two. the sound of the wood cracking echoed through the forest, and you threw the broken pieces into the hole, your actions rough and deliberate.

“take that, you old bitch,” you mumbled to yourself as you covered the hole with dirt, clearly imagining it was gakuganji’s neck you were burying instead.

gojo and geto stood there, watching your dramatic display with a mix of surprise and admiration. they had expected you to be defiant, but your fierce determination took them by surprise.

as the sound of the guitar splitting echoed through the forest, they exchanged amused glances. gojo's smirk widened, while geto chuckled, clearly entertained by your boldness. geto spoke up first, his voice filled with amusement. "that was certainly a... unique way to say 'fuck you,' wasn't it?"

gojo watched you with a mix of fascination and surprise, his usual smirk softened by a look of genuine admiration. he could practically hear his heart pounding in his ears as he took in your fierce, unapologetic display. it was like you had turned the whole situation into a dramatic, personal statement, and it had a profound effect on him.

his eyes were fixed on your form, and he felt a rush of excitement that he couldn't quite ignore. for a moment, the teasing and playful facade melted away, replaced by a deeper, more intense emotion. the raw intensity of your reaction had hit him harder than he expected, and he was almost afraid you’d notice just how much it affected him.

gojo nodded absentmindedly, still caught up in the rapid beat of his own heart. “yeah,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “definitely one for the books.”

geto's smile widened as he noticed the subtle change in gojo's demeanor. he saw the way his smirk faded into something more sincere and felt the shift in the air. he knew gojo well enough to recognize when something had piqued his interest, and your defiant display had certainly done just that.

he glanced at gojo, a knowing look in his eyes, before turning his gaze back to you. “careful, satoru,” he teased, a sly smile on his lips. “you're looking a little smitten over there.”

you noticed gojo’s reaction before you heard geto’s teasing remark. the slight pink in his cheeks and the way his posture seemed a bit more tense caught your attention. even though you couldn’t see his eyes behind the dark glasses, you could tell from the way his expression had shifted that something was definitely different.

you gave gojo a look of disgust, clearly unimpressed by his sudden change in demeanor. “seriously?” you said, your voice dripping with annoyance. “what’s wrong with him?”

geto chuckled, enjoying the fact that you had noticed gojo's unease. he loved to see his friend squirm, especially when it came to matters of the heart.

"aw, don't be so hard on him,” he teased. “he's just experiencing some... unexpected emotions, that's all.” gojo shot geto a dirty look, silently signaling him to shut up, but geto just snickered and ignored his silent plea.

you maintained your disgusted expression as you took in the interaction between geto and gojo. yhe way geto was teasing gojo and the evident discomfort it caused him only added to your irritation.

“weirdo,” you muttered, shaking your head as you tossed the shovel to the ground with a clatter. you turned on your heel and started walking away, clearly done with the whole situation and eager to put some distance between yourself and the bizarre scene.

as you walked off, you could still hear geto’s laughter behind you, but you chose to ignore it, focusing instead on finding some semblance of normalcy away from their antics.

gojo's eyes followed you as you walked away, his demeanor still a mix of surprise and mild mortification.

“great,” he muttered, his voice laced with annoyance. “thanks for that, suguru.”

geto just shrugged, his smirk still in place. “what? i was just being honest. it's not my fault you have a thing for the feisty ones.” gojo shot geto another glare, his cheeks still slightly pink. “shut up,” he muttered, sounding more embarrassed than angry.

geto chuckled again, clearly enjoying the situation a bit too much. “oh come on, don’t deny it. i saw the look on your face. you were practically swooning.”

“i’m not,” gojo retorted, his voice coming out more defensive than he intended.

“you are,” geto insisted, grinning widely.

“i’m not,” gojo said again, his tone more strained as he tried to maintain his composure.

geto’s grin only widened at gojo’s weak protestations. he knew he had struck a nerve.

“oh, come on. you can’t fool me,” he said, his voice dripping with mockery. “i know the look of a smitten man when i see one. and you, my friend, are wearing it loud and clear.”

TREE AND TWO PARASITE

you sat under the tree, savoring the shade and the cool breeze against your skin. the popsicle in your hand was a perfect escape from the relentless heat, and you eagerly opened the package, snapping the plastic off with a quick twist. the moment the cold, sweet treat touched your tongue, a satisfied moan escaped your lips, the icy chill instantly refreshing.

you leaned back against the tree trunk, enjoying your brief moment of peace. you were supposed to be training with yaga’s curse doll, but you couldn’t be bothered—combat practice was the last thing you felt like doing today. you were perfectly content to hide out here, enjoying your popsicle and the quiet, far from yaga’s stern instructions and that annoying doll.

just as you were getting comfortable, you heard rustling nearby, but you ignored it, too caught up in the bliss of your popsicle to care who might be approaching.

as you were lost in the bliss of your moment, the sound of footsteps approached, followed by familiar voices. before you could even react, gojo and geto appeared out of nowhere, their presence instantly breaking your peaceful escape.

you groaned in annoyance, already expecting some kind of teasing from them. but what you didn’t expect was gojo leaning down with that stupid smirk of his and snatching your popsicle right out of your hand. without a second thought, he put it in his mouth, his grin widening as he enjoyed the stolen treat.

“are you serious?” you snapped, glaring up at gojo, who was clearly pleased with himself. the audacity of it made your blood boil, and you could see geto trying to stifle a laugh beside him, clearly enjoying the show.

“come on, satoru,” geto chuckled, giving him a playful shove. “you’re really gonna steal a popsicle from her?”

gojo just winked, still savoring the cold treat. “what? sharing is caring, right?” he said, voice muffled slightly by the popsicle, as if that made his actions any less infuriating. your annoyance only grew as geto chimed in, clearly finding the situation hilarious. gojo’s cocky demeanor made you want to punch him in his smug face.

you crossed your arms, glaring daggers at him. “oh, come on,” you snapped. “that’s mine!”

but gojo just chuckled, shamelessly enjoying his stolen popsicle. “finders keepers,” he said through his smug smile, his fingers holding loosely around your popsicle.

you huffed, eyes narrowing at gojo as he shamelessly continued to enjoy your popsicle. the audacity was enough to make your blood boil, and you were done playing along with their annoying antics. without missing a beat, you reached over and snatched the popsicle right out of gojo’s hand, earning a surprised look from him.

“this is mine,” you said firmly, taking a deliberate lick of the popsicle as if to prove your point. “if you want one, buy it yourself.” your glare dared him to argue, and you could see geto stifling a laugh at gojo’s expense.

gojo couldn't hide his surprise at your boldness. he had expected you to protest and whine, not take back your popsicle with such determination. and the way you took a defiant lick, without a care in the world, was both irritating and admirable.

he glanced at geto, clearly annoyed at the amused look on his friend's face. gojo opened his mouth to say something, but geto beat him to it.

“oh, looks like she’s not messing around,” he teased, a wide grin on his face. you rolled your eyes at geto’s comment, not in the mood to entertain their teasing any longer. with a deep sigh, you finally turned your attention to them, still holding your popsicle like a prized possession. “why are you guys even here?” you asked, annoyance lacing your tone.

as they sat down, you noticed gojo positioning himself beside you—way too close for comfort. you didn’t even realize how close until your shoulder brushed against his. you flinched slightly, your personal space suddenly feeling invaded.

gojo, seemingly unfazed, leaned back casually, his shoulder still lightly pressed against yours. “what, can’t we just hang out?” he said with that insufferable smirk, as if he owned the world and everything in it.

geto leaned back against the tree, clearly enjoying the dynamic. “yeah, we figured you could use some company, y’know? since you’re so ‘busy’ running from training,” he added with a chuckle.

you shot gojo a quick glare, scooting away just a bit to reclaim some space. “if i wanted company, i wouldn’t be hiding out here,” you mumbled, taking another lick of your popsicle, as if to reclaim the moment they interrupted.

as you shifted away to maintain at least a hint of personal space, gojo’s smirk only widened. he chuckled at your attempt to distance yourself, clearly enjoying your stubborn defiance.

“aww, don’t be like that,” he teased, leaning in closer again. “you know you love our company.”

geto just chuckled and shook his head, finding the whole scene amusing. “he has a point, y/n,” he joked. “we’re pretty entertaining, you have to admit that.” you let out an exasperated sigh, rolling your eyes as gojo leaned in even closer, completely disregarding your obvious need for space. you turned your head, giving him a flat, unimpressed look before shifting your gaze to geto, who seemed all too amused by the whole situation.

“no, you two are not entertaining,” you snapped, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “if anything, you two are going to go down in history as the world’s biggest idiots.”

you took another defiant bite of your popsicle, savoring the cold sweetness while ignoring the way gojo’s shoulder brushed against yours yet again. gojo’s smirk morphed into a full grin, not at all bothered by your insult. in fact, he seemed to thrive on your defiant attitude. he leaned in even closer, his shoulder still pressing against yours despite your obvious discomfort.

“oh, wow. harsh,” he remarked, his voice dripping with amusement. “aren’t you just a ray of sunshine today?”

geto chuckled and chimed in, clearly enjoying the exchange. “yeah, you do seem a bit prickly today, y/n. what’s got you in such a grumpy mood?” you raised an eyebrow, fixing both gojo and geto with a serious, unamused expression. their teasing was getting old, and you weren’t in the mood for their games. gojo’s smug grin and geto’s easy laughter only fueled your irritation.

“seriously?” you said flatly, your gaze shifting between the two of them. “you two are the reason.”

you held their stare, refusing to back down or give them the reaction they were fishing for. “maybe if you both found something better to do than annoy me every chance you get, i wouldn’t be in such a ‘grumpy mood,’” you added, your tone laced with sarcasm.

gojo chuckled in response to your flat tone, clearly loving the fact that he was getting under your skin. “aww, don’t blame us for your bad mood,” he said, his voice oozing with mock innocence. “we’re just here to brighten your day.”

geto chimed in, his smirk mirroring gojo’s. “yeah, we’re just spreading a bit of joy and cheer.” the two of them chuckled at each other, obviously enjoying the effect they were having on you.

you rolled your eyes, thoroughly annoyed by their nonchalant attitude. “yeah, because being a major pain in my ass is such a great way to spread joy and cheer.”

gojo’s smirk only grew wider at your biting remark. he found your feisty side downright amusing. “oh, come on. you know you love it when we annoy you.” geto chimed in, clearly enjoying the exchange. “yeah, your grumpy little huffs and eye rolls are the highlight of my day.”

gojo chuckled, his smirk still firmly in place. “and don’t forget your adorable little scowls,” he added, his voice filled with mockery. you let out a heavy sigh, your patience wearing thin with their constant teasing. “so annoying,” you mumbled under your breath, leaning back against the tree with an exaggerated roll of your eyes.

despite your words, there was a small part of you that didn’t mind their company as much as you pretended to. but admitting that, even to yourself, was a hit to your pride that you weren’t willing to take.

you crossed your arms and stared up at the sky, trying to ignore the way gojo’s presence lingered too close, and how geto’s laugh seemed to fill the space around you. it was frustrating how they managed to worm their way into your day, no matter how hard you tried to keep your distance.

gojo chuckled at your mumbled complaint, not buying your exasperated act for a second. he had known you long enough to catch the subtle hints that you weren’t as annoyed as you were trying to appear.

he leaned in even closer, his shoulder still touching yours. “aww, don’t be like that. you know you love having us around.”

geto chuckled at the exchange, clearly enjoying the back and forth between the two of you. “yeah, admit it. we’re the best part of your day.” you couldn’t help but chuckle, a small, genuine smile tugging at your lips despite your best efforts to stay annoyed. you shook your head slightly, glancing between the two of them, their expectant faces so full of mischief and teasing.

“yeah, right,” you scoff, rolling your eyes playfully but unable to keep the warmth out of your voice. they both grinned, knowing they had managed to break through your defenses, even if just a little.

gojo and geto exchanged a knowing glance, clearly pleased with themselves for making you crack a smile. they knew they were slowly chipping away at your stubborn exterior.

gojo leaned in even closer, his arm brushing against yours. “see, you do like having us around,” he said with a smirk, enjoying the way he was able to get under your skin without even trying. geto chuckled and nodded in agreement. “yeah, we’re growing on you like a fungus.”

you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks as gojo leaned even closer, his presence both irritating and oddly comforting.

“please, shut up,” you muttered, turning your gaze away, but the slight upturn of your lips betrayed your attempt to seem unbothered. gojo and geto shared a knowing look, both of them clearly amused by your reaction. they could tell that you were trying to hide your feelings, but they weren’t buying it for a second. the way your cheeks blushed gave you away.

“aww, look at that,” gojo teased, his smirk widening. “our little grouch is blushing.” geto chuckled and nodded. “yeah, i bet she secretly loves our company.”

you let out a huff, deciding not to dignify their teasing with a response. instead, you shifted slightly between them, settling onto the grass and lying down with your back to grass. closing your eyes, you block out their smug expressions, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face.

“i’m going to take a nap,” you announced, your voice muffled by the wind. “be useful for once and don’t let yaga find me.” they can clearly see the exhausted in your face, the bag under your eyes. their heart softens as they take the sight of you between them, deciding to stop teasing you for a while and let you rest.

gojo and geto exchanged a brief look at your sudden change in behavior. they could both pick up on your exhaustion, the bags under your eyes all the tell-tale sign that you hadn’t been getting enough rest.

they both silently agreed to back off on the teasing for the moment, knowing you needed a break. gojo sat back a bit, giving you some breathing room, while geto settled on his back, resting his arms behind his head. “alright, get some rest,” gojo said, his voice softer than usual. “we’ll keep an eye out for yaga.”

the two of them settled into a comfortable silence, both of them quietly observing you as you laid between them, your eyes closed in exhaustion.

gojo quietly observed your sleeping face, taking in the way your features looked uncharacteristically relaxed in sleep. he found himself thinking, for a moment, how oddly peaceful you looked when you weren’t bickering with him.

geto glanced over at gojo, noticing the soft look on his face, and chuckled quietly to himself. he had seen that look before and he knew exactly what it meant.

961 notes · View notes

astonmartingf · 4 months ago

Text

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT! ; F1 GRID

f1 grid x driver!reader . . . gen z f1 driver ranks previous crushes in f1 in a new tiktok video that sends fans in a coma /real

amgf well well well, guess who's back (hopefully) uhm i'm enrolled and officially an intern 😀👍 we love to see that, i made this before hungary i think? but yeah, i have too many drafts and no will to write, i'm blaming the new season in wild rift 😋 and because i've been busy with the internship thingy... a lot of seminars and preparations to do sooooo i hope you enjoy this like always

yourusername uploaded a new video

. . . view 736,937 comments

user73 hello? came running from twt, everyone talking about this

user62 i thought people were making a big deal on twt like usual but this is actual next levels of insane

user32 yn was bored with summer break and decided to break the internet and possibly the team's pr manager

user50 i relate because i too am not immune to blond hair and blued eyed men...

landonorris i think you forgot to message one more driver on the grid...

→ yourusername you're right @/yukitsunoda0511 i had a crush on you before 😌☝️

→ landonorris i meant a british driver on the grid...

→ yourusername alex is already there???

→ landonorris a mclaren driver perhaps.....

→ yourusername oh my gosh you reminded me!!!! i definitely had a really tiny crush on mclaren @/carlossainz 😋🫶

→ yourusername look lando i specifically said in the second slide that if you're not there then i probably hated you, people said you have poor reading comprehension, didn't think it'd be true 🫤

user38 cleared lando fr!!!!!!

user93 no charles leclerc, max verstappen, daniel ricciardo? fraud 🤥

→ user05 wtf not everyone likes them????

→ user17 y'all it's not that deep, this is yn's crush ranking why are y'all projecting////

georgerussell catching strays on a post about you having a crush on alex before????

→ yourusername oh well... i say it the way i see it and i see the way you look at alex 🙄🙏

logansargeant well well well

→ yourusername shut up logan 🙄

→ oscarpiastri no... but this is interesting ✍️ ain't it @/logansargeant?

→ yourusername shut your traps, i didn't give y'all exclusive content for you to run your mouth online

→ user48 honey i fear you're already running your mouth enough 🥹

user72 is no one taking about the mick one???? like??? i'm thinking about their f3 and f2 moments now and i see it

→ user49 OMG!NNN exactly! i get it now, the tension when they're together

jensonbutton reading your message at 2am asking for permission is not something i expected, my question though is... am i p1?

→ yourusername technically you're p-last atm but considering you're my first f1 crush i guess you're p1

→ jensonbutton i see... one rank higher than @/nicorosberg 👍

→ nicorosberg is this what catching strays mean @/yourusername?

→ yourusername yes 😭

dennis_hauger this is not what i said to you, i'm about to sue for defamation

→ yourusername you can't do that, i need a wag to bring for races

→ dennis_hauger i'm racing too?

→ yourusername and?

user85 mr dennis hauger??? did we miss three chapters here?

→ user69 no!!! they've been going at it since the beginning look up the 2022 f2 season

→ user03 there are various compilations in youtube and in yn's youtube channel !!!!

mickshumacher what is this? this is not what you sent me?

→ yourusername is it slander yn day? i'm out here airing my business and y'all say i'm a fraud istg

→ mickshumacher hahahahahaha but i agree with everything you said, i felt the same way

→ yourusername hello? when was this?

→ mickshumacher probably three, four years ago? same year with you, things didn't just work out

→ yourusername dang so you could've been my wag? ngl glad it's not you 😂🫵

→ mickshumacher i agree, who would want to be with you atp

→ yourusername slander and defamation?????

→ mickshumacher well who doesn't have a wag now? exactly, not me

yourusername wow i made this so we could have fun, but now everyone is just making fun of me, might as well delete this before the PR team sees this 😮‍💨

→ user52 noooooo please keep this up

→ user17 this is actually very slayful if you!!! don't ❌❌ let 🫵 the haters 🤡😈💩 stop 🛑✋ you

→ user28 this is actually what we want this summer, i'm begging 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

#f1 x reader #f1 fluff #f1 smau #f1 imagine #formula one smau #formula one fluff #formula 1 smau

2K notes · View notes

marril96 · 25 days ago

Text

Reasons

Pairing: Agatha Harkness x reader

Summary: Agatha wants to know why you wanted to go on the Road.

You knew you were in trouble when Agatha left the rest of the coven huddled around a fire and joined you in the forest area, away from prying ears.

You needed some peace and quiet. The trials were emotionally tasking. Risking your life day by day, doing things such as drinking poison and performing a song while fire raged around you…

It was a lot.

But this was your life now.You knew full well what you were signing up for. Agatha had warned you, loud and clear.

The choice to come here was yours, and you would make it all over again if given a chance for what you wanted — what you needed — from the Road wasn't something easily attainable. You'd be damned if you were to give up now.

Some things were worth risking everything for.

"Y/N," Agatha said as she approached you, casual, hands in the pockets of her coat. Like she were on a walk in a park rather than a dangerous and deadly Road.

"Yeah?" You weren't really in the mood to talk, your batteries still low from the latest trial. It didn't help that you didn't feel fully at ease with the others. The kid was fine, but the other witches made you nervous. You didn't trust them. You didn't know them.

The only one you really knew was Agatha. Which was why you just stood there instead of moving away or feigning sleepiness as she walked over, something clearly on her mind. It paid off to have befriended her back in the day. It was by pure chance, an encounter neither one of you expected, but, in hindsight, you were both glad it had happened.

She had earned a listening ear, someone to confide in, who wouldn't judge her no matter what. Someone who would have her back even if the rest of the world were to turn against her.

You had earned a protector in a world that was dangerous for your kind.

"We need to talk," Agatha said. Her tone didn't reveal much; you didn't know what to expect.

You turned to her. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's peachy."

"Is Jen talking shit about you again? My offer to punch her in the face still stands," you said. You'd nearly done so a couple days back, but Agatha had held you back. She could handle Jen, she'd said. Her words had meant nothing to her.

It didn't make hearing lies and slander about your friend feel any better, but if she said she was okay, then that was that. Agatha was centuries old; much older than you. She may have been powerless now, but she could still hold her own. She'd heard worse. She'd lived through worse. Some random witch's petty insults didn't bother her.

Agatha chuckled. "Jen is… Jen. But no, she hasn't said anything."

"Then what's up?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Why do I feel like I'm about to be interrogated?" you said, nervous. You forced a smile. "Are you back in your true crime mode? Are you gonna manhandle me until I confess?"

"That's cute," Agatha said, rolling her eyes, prompting you to laugh.

If you'd known Wanda Maximoff had cast a spell on her, you would have come and gotten her out of it sooner — or tried to, at the very least. That was the thing about friendships that lasted for centuries; a lot of time was spent apart. It wasn't unusual for one of you to disappear for a few years and then pop back into the other's life. You missed her when she was gone, of course you did, but she had her life, and you had yours.

It was only when she'd showed up at your door with Teen in tow that you'd finally found out why she'd gone radio silent for three years. And, much to your disappointment, the witch who'd done it to her was dead, so you couldn't even punch her for it, or call her a bitch to her face.

Such was life.

"What are you doing here?" Agatha asked.

"What do you mean?" you said, taken aback.

"On the Road," she clarified. "Why are you here?"

Because you wanted something you could never have without it. Simple as that. "You asked me to come."

"No, I didn't. I told you I was going. You demanded I take you with me."

Right. You'd hoped that little detail would slip by her. You should've known by now she kept track of everything; her mind was as sharp as her magic.

"I haven't seen you in three years," you said, hoping that would be enough of an explanation. "I wanted to hang out with you. And, like, maybe get some more power along the way."

"Anyone ever tell you you're a shitty liar?"

Yes. She did. Multiple times in the past. Which was why, whenever the two of you needed to swindle someone — for whatever reason — she was the one doing the talking and you just nodded along and smiled.

"You did."

"Yes," Agatha said. "I did. Because you are."

You sighed. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"There's nothing to say."

There was a lot, actually, but you didn't dare open up that particular can of worms. Once it was said, it could never be taken back. So why say anything at all?

"Oh, is there?" Agatha said sarcastically.

"Don't do that," you said.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

Because you're my friend. Because I don't want to ruin this. "Because I'm asking you not to. That used to mean something."

"It still does." Her voice was soft. Tender. Gone was the sarcasm, the defensive sharpness. It was just her now. Your friend.

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because I want to know."

"Leave it alone." You knew she wouldn't. She never did.

"Y/N," Agatha said, your name but a whisper on her lips.

You sighed. Was she really going to do this now? Why couldn't she just take you at your word and put up with a little white lie? Why did she have to be so damn stubborn?

"Why did you want to come here?" She wasn't demanding. She wasn't prodding. She was just asking.

She knew you couldn't resist her for too long.

The perks of allowing Agatha Harkness to be your close friend. She knew you too well for your own good.

A lump formed in your throat. Heat bit at the back of your neck like a curse about to swallow you whole. Your heart raced, a marathon booming in your chest.

There was a silence, long, drawn out. Then, in your quietest, softest voice, you said, "You know why."

She always did.

She always knew everything.

Secrets weren't secrets for long around Agatha Harkness.

You tried to tell yourself that you were being careful, that your emotions were in check at all times, but the truth was, your poker face was worse than your lying skills. You just pretended you were doing a good job, and Agatha went along with it.

To her credit, she never tried to take advantage. She never made fun of you for it, or played games. The deal was friendship, and that's what she gave you. Nothing more, and nothing less.

"I want to hear it from you."

A tear slid from the corner of your eye. Your cheek burned like a fireplace. Your mouth trembled, holding the words back, wanting to keep them trapped forever. But what would be the point, really? The truth was bound to come out eventually.

The truth had been out for a long time, written all over your face. A big, scarlet letter for all the world to know how you really felt. What you really wanted, but never felt like you could have.

"You." It felt almost freeing to say it out loud, as if a weight had been lifted off your chest, allowing you to breathe in a way you hadn't for years. "I came here because I want you."

Really, what else could you have possibly wanted? You were satisfied with the power you had. You got by. Your life wasn't in danger. There was nothing for you to ask for, that you didn't already have.

Except for one thing you thought — you knew — was unattainable.

Agatha Harkness. One of the most powerful witches you'd ever gotten to know. Rumored to be cruel and ruthless, heartless. A remorseless monster. A serial killer of witches. Your best — and only — friend. The love of your life.

"Go on," you said after a few moments of silence. "Make fun of me."

"Now, why would I do that?" Agatha asked, appalled at the suggestion. Offended for sbe thought you knew her better than that.

Which was exactly why you were so afraid. She hid her feelings expertly. Rather than admit vulnerability, she preferred to go on the offensive. A scorpion stinging with its venom where it hurt the most. She cared about you, and she trusted you, but there was no telling how she would react to something like this out in the open.

You saw how she treated people. You watched her murder witch after witch and discard the bodies as if they were nothing. You watch her climb over others to prop herself up, to rise to the top.

What was to stop her from doing the same to you?

What made you so different?

Why had she never treated you any different than one would a friend? Why had she always had your back, without you even having to ask? Why had she taken lives — many, many lives — to save yours?

Why did she trust you with her story, with memories of her son and the failed romance with Rio?

Why did she feel comfortable to bare her soul to you and let the tears flow freely, a salty river down her face each and every time she revealed a piece of her history?

"I just…" You were nervous. You were scared. You wanted to die.

"You know, honey, you didn't have to be so dramatic about it," Agatha said, perking up. Teasing you like she usually did; a bit mean, but with no real malice behind it. Playful. A cat throwing around a mouse it had caught. "You went on the Road to score a date? Really?"

It wasn't really a date you were after, but her point stood.

You were stupid.

This was a stupid idea, and it had backfired, and now she was going to mock you for it until the day one of you died.

"You do know all you had to do was ask, right?" she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You snorted. "Yeah, right. Like you'd ever give me the time of day."

Agatha pressed her hands to her hips, elbows sticking out. "Who's to say I wouldn't?"

Now she was definitely taking the piss. "Come on," you said, putting on your fakest smile you knew would never fool her. "You're this amazing, badass, smoking hot witch."

She preened at the compliments. The surefire way to feel heart. She was nothing if not an attention whore.

"You-you're everything." Your everything, and more. So much more. "And I'm a nobody."

"Don't you ever say that," Agatha said in her stern, no nonsense tone. No more Mrs. Nice Girl. All daggers and sharp edges. She grabbed you by the shoulders, fingers digging in, and looked into sour eyes so intently it sent chills down your spine. "Don't you ever think you're a nobody."

"Everyone else thinks that," you said quietly.

It was obvious the others didn't think much of you. You could see it on their faces; the lack of respect, the underestimation. Jen had called you Agatha's pitbull to your face.

That was all you were to them. A pathetic witch whose only purpose was to speak up for Agatha. She may have joked about Teen being her pet, but it was clear to them all that that was your job. Agatha's witch familiar who was hopelessly in love with her and barked — but never bit — at every perceived slight against her.

"Who cares what they think?" Agatha said. "You're an exceptional witch, Y/N. They are nobodies."

"You're only saying that to make me feel better."

"Does that sound like something I'd do?"

No. It did not. She might use those words to manipulate some poor, unfortunate soul, but not you. Never you.

She always said it to you like it was.

"I mean, you do like to manipulate people," you joked. "And you lie better than I do."

Agatha rolled her eyes. "Everyone lies better than you do."

"True." There was no denying that.

She sighed, exasperated. "You really are an idiot."

And then her mouth was on yours, and she was kissing you, and your entire world exploded into fireworks and sparks and electricity, and, for a few short moments, you weren't in a dirty, creepy forest but rather somewhere warm and welcoming, and you never wanted to leave.

Agatha was everything you had imagined, and much, much more. Fire and ice all in one. Sugar and spice and everything nice and cozy and so fucking delicious.

Hers was the taste you never wanted to give up.

She tried to lean her head back, to take a break for breath, but you grabbed her chin and kissed her again, and again, and again. Hunger like you'd never felt before overtook you. Your nerves were on fire, legs weak underneath you, but you held on, forced yourself to remain standing. To remain kissing her for you never knew when you would get another chance.

If you would get another chance.

"Honey, I may be immortal, but I still need to breathe," Agatha said with a chuckle, right against your lips. Playful. Teasing.

Deciding it was enough, you backed away. Your lips were swollen, tingling. The taste of her, all of her, still on them, lingering like a ghost of your past. Forever imprinted on your mouth, a tattoo you hoped would never fade. You never wanted to lose it. Never wanted to forget what it felt like to be kissing her.

"Sorry," you said, blushing, nervous to hell and back.

Agatha looked you in the eye once again with the same fire as earlier. "Never apologize for taking what you want. You're a witch. The world is yours for the taking."

"I don't want the world," you said. "I just want you."

"Done." She said it so casually, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

You didn't buy it.

You quirked up an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"You knew I was…" Completely and totally in love with her. "...into you."

"You have a tell," she said simply. She always could read people like an open book.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I wanted you to ask for it."

"But why?"

Agatha sighed. "Y/N, what is it that I've been teaching you since the moment we met?"

"Fuck the rules?"

She nodded. "Fuck the rules."

"To be unapologetically me," you said.

"Because…?" she prompted.

"I'm a witch, and I've got nothing to be ashamed of. If I fuck up, that's fine. Shit happens. There's nothing that can't be fixed with a little bit of magic."

Agatha grinned, brimming with pride. "That's my girl."

That's what you really were now. Her girl.

A part of you wanted to pinch yourself to make sure that this was real. That it wasn't some dream or a hallucination the Road had inflicted on you as part of some fucked up trial.

The other part wanted to wrap her in your arms and never let go.

"Can I kiss you again?" you said, uncertain. Still not used to this new situation you'd gotten yourself into.

"You don't even have to ask," Agatha told you.

So you went for it. You kissed her. Once. Twice. Three times.

An infinite amount of times.

Later on, when it came time to get some shut eye, you kissed her goodnight, and she wrapped her arms around you. A protective cocoon, warm and safe.

And, in the morning, she was the one to wake you with a kiss of her own.

It was only fair.

*****

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