#like I cannot understate just how important it is to me all that of these kids *suck* so much

[legandairy-horror]

Headcannons about how the Lightner crew show affection for each other because I can't stop imagining these dorks as the world's most confusing and disastrous polycule

Kris

Feral animal in all things, including relationships. Is very particular when it comes to physical touch and other displays of affection. Instead they give out cool rocks and other shiny things to people they like/care. Has had a crush on every person in their class at one point or another and simultaneously refuses to acknowledge it and refuses to move on. Subconsciously uses their pranking and general weirdness as an excuse to get closer to people without having to admit that they like being around them

Susie

That one "Excuse me, they asked for no pickles" meme. Is willing to commit any crime for the people they care about. Absolutely refuses to acknowledge the fact that they have feelings for anyone even after going out on several dates with them. Not helped by poor self-worth issues making he doubt anyone actually liking her let alone romantic feelings. Deeply infatuated with Noelle, strong feelings for Kris. Complicated for Catti (started out real rough but thinks dark magic is sick as fuck)

Noelle

Lesbiab. Lasbein. Girls. Has such a low self-image of herself and tries so unbelievable hard to hide how weird she is that she just does not realize that every girl in class has been actively trying to date her and just assumes that they're all being nice. Not helped by some lingering Heteronormativity makes her just default to "Ah yes, boys and girls date, that's how that works".

Berdly

I cannot emphasize just how performative he views relationship. Raised on a healthy diet of Heteronormativity and Societal expectations he understands every relationship through that lens. "Of course the guy and girl get together in the end, that's just 'how it works'". Except it's not how it works, because people are often a lot more then what society expects from them. And he just never realized that there might be other options, that love isn't this destined thing that everyone one day accepts like fucking ex-caliber. That he doesn't have to do this if we doesn't want to. That he can just be friends with people instead of having to worry about all this forced bullshit. Yes I am head-cannoning Berdly as closeted aro/ace and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

Catti

Developed a crush on Kris & Noelle while she was teaching them both magic and never fully got over it. Also had somewhat of a friendship while they were younger and thus unjustly blames herself for not doing more to help them after Dess's disappearance and Kris's Possession. Combined with typical teen angst of "My parents are humiliating me by their mere existence." and she's developed a very distant and detached form of love. a very "I'm fine sacrificing my happiness if it means they keep their happiness" kinda mentality. Reason she doesn't get along with Susie at first is because she subconsciously projects a lot of her own anxieties and fear onto her leading to a lot of hostility at first.

Jockington

Token straight and is thus the only remotely competent person here. Serves as the supportive rock for everyone and especially Catti. The first and mostly likely person on the team to suggest the completely reasonable advice of "have you tried talking to them?" and "you're probably overthinking this". It's part of why Catti fell in love with him, because he's the only one here who would willing and readily admit that he cares for someone.

Bonus Monster Kid & Snowy meme (not at all serious)

"Have you ever been walking down the street with your best bro and while you're walking you accidentally touch hands? You think to yourself - That was weird, but I'm not gay. - You are, you are gay". Source

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

Semi-Final Two

Propaganda...

Mr Knightley (2009):

Johnny Lee Miller as Knightley is JUST SO. I mean the way he says "if I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more" IS JUUUST. The dance scene. The tentative shy smiles. The fact you can see in his eyes the entire time " I am completely in love with this woman. She'll never love me back BUT I DO NOT CARE I'LL LOVE HER FROM A DISTANCE ANYWAY" IS JUUUUUUST

We need to appreciate Mr Knightley more for both his snark and for those soft eyes just so full of love for Emma

GIF by dearemma

I was just going to send in the actual dance but the little panic he has when Emma says she knows his secret is just soo charming. There was some thread on twitter a few years ago about how a romcom man's most important quality is knowing how to look at a woman and JLM is just the master of it in this Emma

I really feel like the pictures say it all. He stands there, head tilted to one side. He is listening to you. His posture is relaxed. His gaze open, frank, candid. He's not trying at all. He just is.And that's why he is Knightley.

GIF by night-unfurls-its-splendour

Some propaganda, not just for Jonny Lee Miller, but the general interpretation of 09 Knightley. I have some excerpts here from my review of the 09 adaptation:

What I really think is great about the 2009 interpretation of Mr. Knightley is what an easy and comforting presence he is, without being apologetic when he scolds Emma. I think this is communicated especially well by how often we are actually shown Mr. Knightley taking his almost-daily walks to Hartfield, how smoothly he comes and goes, and how happy Emma is every time she sees him coming up the path (usually, just at the perfect moment when she needs something to put her back to rights.)

Here is Emma, feeling lonely after Miss Taylor's wedding. And in the background, walking up to Hartfield--there's Knightley. He's always been there for her, and he always will be.

And also this Mr. Knightley is as understated as ever, but I wanna highlight this outfit and why I love it: This is Knightley’s first appearance in the series and it’s the perfect establishing shot that shows the viewer everything they need to know about Emma and Knightley’s relationship and how it has always been. He sort of materializes, out of focus in the background, but Emma immediately knows he’s there. And to accentuate how much Knightley is part of her home and scenery, his clothes (similar shades of pale tan, white and minty green to the wall behind him) almost camouflage him and make him seem at one with the moulding of her home.

Additionally, Jonny Lee Miller captures Knightley’s playful qualities, and his exasperation is so endearing

GIF by christophernolan

GIF by sashajames

GIF by christophernolan

I can’t be the only one tickled by this Knightley’s frustration with Emma! JLM FTW!

Jonny Lee Miller is mesmerizing in any role he inhabits. It’s 2009 Knightly all the way.

no but can you actually go vote for mr knightley he was FOUNDATIONAL for 16 year old me my favourite portrayal of my favourite austen man cannot fall at this hurdle!!!

He is my ultimate Austen Dream Man, I'm with him until the end. Honestly this adaptation is my very favorite of them all (P&P 1995 is a VERY close second) because it made me fall in love with Emma as a story? Honestly no other adaptation or indeed even my reading of the book made me love it quite as much. My crush on JLM goes back to 1995 and I do think he is one of the better actors of his generation - his range alone is just impeccable. The fact that he can go from Sick Boy to Mr. Knightley to Sherlock to Jordan Chase is really something. Of all the actors I know, his range is the most impressive. But i love how bright and sunny this adaptation is. The colors, it is as vibrant as Emma should be! The Kate Beckinsale Emma is dark and terrifying to me, not at all suitable an adaptation. I like the Paltrow Emma a lot, but it's got the same issue the 2005 P&P has for me -- it's just too short. This is tonally just right, and the casting is lovely, and JLM is just at his dashing best. His face is so expressive, he is so capable of communicating so much without saying a word. His open jealousy of Frank Churchill is delightful to watch. His face when Emma tells him his secret is out at the ball! JLM is maybe the most underrated actor of his generation and I LOVE that he has been multiple Austen heroes. I maintain that in a future adaptation of Pride & Prejudice, an older JLM would make an EXCELLENT Mr. Bennet. He would convey the right amount of grumpy but fond beautifully.

Look. Do people realize JLM hates wearing period clothing AND hates dancing? And yet in Emma he's sashaying around in pink jackets looking amazing and is THAT convincing? That's called BRILLIANT ACTING!!

A tiny bit of Mr Knightley 2009 propaganda but I love that they put in that bit from the book where he looks like he's going to kiss Emma's hand when he's saying goodbye but then he hesitates and doesn't and I just...it's such a tiny detail but conveys so much!

GIF by myforeverworldofmovie

It’s the only Emma adaptation that really hits the romance notes well. Knightley’s crowning moment of awesome really feels like it (when he rescues Harriet from humiliation) and his subsequent dancing with Emma does make you feel a shift in their relations. Love this adaptation. - This Knightley and Emma in particular are equals. They quarrel, not because he’s telling her off, but because they can have an argument because they know each other, trust each other and care about each others opinions, and there is never a sense of domination of one over the other. This adds so much fire to the romance, and it’s so unusual for a romance of that era (or even one written today!!). - Emma is rich, clever and beautiful and as powerful as a woman of her age and situation could be at the time and she married Knightley for no other reason but because he’s her best friend and his company for the rest of her life will enrich her. - He even leaves his house to move in with her!

Captain Wentworth (1995):

Ciaran Hinds has that perfect ruggedness yet friendliness to his face that makes him the perfect charming Wentworth. And all of the longing that he manages to convey in his eyes is so hot.

Wentworth may be angry/resentful with Anne but in general he is charming and the best friend you could ever have. Ciaran gets the pleasant parts of his character and brings them out, while keeping a guarded coolness (protective camouflage) with Anne.

GIF by molinaesque

I dunno if this counts as propaganda or not, but Ciaran Hinds has a face that looks like it was jackhammered out of a shale cliff.

If a line like 'I am half agony...half hope' comes out of a face like that you know that man has a soul for poetry.

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.  

This is propaganda for the next round because I need my boy to be a finalist! But this letter is all the persuasion I need to know that he is a winner

Ciarán Hinds in this is a whole other level of "a good man" He makes Anne's decision at the end so much more perfect.

[artdolliewishes]

Neytiri’s Fatal Flaw and Her Future Arc.

I was watching the deleted/original cut of the scene with Neytiri holding Spider hostage which — first off, incredible scene by the way like holy shit — but it made me think about how perfectly it served for Neytiri’s character.

Someone might’ve already talked about this already, but what I don’t think a lot of people realize is that this scene serves as the payoff for earlier Neytiri-related scenes as well as a starting point for her arc going forward.

If you haven’t watched the scene, here, it’s a far more impactful version of an already hard hitting scene and I’m going to treat it as what “really” happened in the story for the sake of analysis.

The first moment I’m focusing on is this one where Neytiri goes to pick up her bow after killing a few RDA grunts, only to find that the bow is now broken and unusable.

There’s a running theme in these two movies that I’ve seen people point out and that’s how Neytiri keeps losing things that are precious to her, whether they be people, places, or objects.

In the first movie, she loses a lot including but not limited to the Hometree, the Tree of Voices, her older sister, Tsu’tey, her Ikran, and her father. When her father dies, he grants her the Ceremonial Bow and that’s what she ends up using to fight in all subsequent battles.

In the second movie, she thankfully doesn’t lose as much, but she’s still forced to leave her home and her first born son is killed in the heat of battle, rough times all around.

You’ll note that I didn’t include losing her precious bow on the list of things she lost and that’s because she didn’t lose the bow, she broke it.

All the other losses I’ve described are caused by the RDA, but this one isn’t. Instead of her bow being broken by another grunt in the heat of the battle, she’s the one who breaks it by swinging it haphazardly at her enemies.

I may not know all that much about archery or making weapons, but I’m almost certain that bows aren’t designed to be used like that, which is why her bow broke the way that it did.

And it cannot be understated how important this bow must be to Neytiri. I mentioned before that it was given to her by her late father, making it an important connection to her family already, but it’s also made from the wood of Hometree. So not only is it a connection to her family, it’s a connection to her people and the home that was stolen from them.

All that and she still broke it, not because she didn’t cherish the bow, but because she just couldn’t control her anger enough to handle it properly.

And that’s what I feel Neytiri’s fatal flaw is, as well as what her arc will be primarily focusing on in the upcoming movies — Neytiri’s anger and hatred leads to blind rage, and she becomes liable to hurt those she cares about.

For the record, I am not making the claim that Neytiri’s flaw is that she gets angry. Being outraged by death and destruction, hating those who bring about injustice, these aren’t flaws and aren’t things she should be vilified for. What is a flaw is how she uses her anger, or rather how it uses her.

Jake spells it out pretty cleanly in a scene that happened a while ago. When Tonowari told Jake and Neytiri about the destruction the RDA was causing to the nearby villages, they immediately connect it back to Quaritch. Neytiri describes how they have to finish off Quaritch — “we have to hunt this demon, trap him, kill him” — and this is what Jake says in response to that idea:

“We gotta be smart…”

He’s not dismissing the idea of doing something, he’s just cautioning her on how they go about doing it. That’s the crux of Neytiri’s most prevalent flaw, it isn’t her becoming angered at the injustice she and her people face, it’s her not being smart about how she acts on it.

The last two moments I’d like to draw attention to are the one where one of Quartich’s lackey calls Neytiri a “wild animal” and the one where she actually acts like one.

For the record, Lyle and Quaritch are in the wrong for likening Neytiri to an animal and dehumanizing her in the process, especially when the reason they insulted her was because she was acting violent in the video where she was protecting her husband. However, it’s undeniable that during the fight on the Sea Dragon, Neytiri is the most violent and rage filled we’ve ever seen her.

It’s particularly noticeable right before she realizes she broke her bow, which is definitely not a coincidence I’ll tell you that much.

She screams in the guys face and stabs him over and over and over again, after which she gets up and starts growling, searching for anything else that moves. It’s not a stretch to say that, in this moment, she’s acting almost like a bloodthirsty animal hungry for vengeance, not too dissimilar from the wild animal the recoms painted her as.

And all of this, her accidentally breaking her father’s bow, being asked to be smart about it all, acting like a wild animal, it all comes to a head in the moment where she uses Spider’s life as leverage to save Kiri’s. It starts off good when she makes Quaritch let Kiri go, but when Kiri is freed from Quaritch’s grasp and she can turn her attention to the man himself…

…she puts the blade back against Spider’s neck and utters those infamous lines:

“A son for a son.”

I’ve seen a lot of people comment on how “powerful” of a scene this is, and while I agree that it’s a powerful storytelling moment and extremely important to Neytiri’s character, I think a lot of people miss the fact that this isn’t an admirable moment of a mother’s rage, but a scary and dark moment where Neytiri is about to fall to Quaritch’s lows.

Because if Neytiri had actually gone through with this decision, then she would’ve done the same thing to her family that she did with her bow — destroy it. What’s important to note about Neytiri’s hatred towards Spider is that; while it’s understandable considering all the trauma she went through at the hands of his father and the RDA, she’s the only one in her family that feels this way towards him.

For one thing, Spider is both Lo’ak and Kiri’s best friend and they know how much Spider hates being Quaritch’s son, there’s no way that they’d just accept Neytiri after she killed their best friend. We don’t get much development on Spider’s relationship with Tuk or Neteyam, but we see Spider protect Tuk, tease Neteyam, and cry during Neteyam’s death, so they must be friends on some level.

And finally Jake. Admittedly, Jake is pretty lukewarm towards Spider throughout the entire movie, but I’d argue that’s him keeping a respectful distance because of him wanting to side with his wife and not any malice Jake genuinely holds towards Spider himself. We even see him checking over Spider at the end of the movie like he does with Lo’ak and Neteyam.

As much as Jake unconditionally loves Neytiri, I cannot see a world where he’s able to look at her the same way if she killed an innocent child.

And I do mean innocent, because at this point in time Spider’s only “crimes” are being human(not his choice) and being Quaritch’s son(also not his choice). Even if Neytiri’s feelings towards him are understandable and valid, her actions at this point are not justifiable and Jake knows it.

That’s not even mentioning how she hisses at Kiri during this scene, she’s not acting with her family’s best interest in mind, she’s acting on pure rage.

If she had gone through with it and killed Spider, Kiri and Lo’ak would hate her, Tuk wouldn’t be able to look at her the same way again, and Jake probably would’ve left her. She truly did come a hair’s width away from destroying something precious to her once again.

Now let’s talk about Spider for a minute because he’s crucial to all of this, as Neytiri’s hatred for humans extends to her hatred of him.

We already know that, to the Na’vi, “I see you” is considered a respectful greeting, but it’s also a show of great understanding between two people; it’s why Jake’s two pivotal emotional moments at the end of the movies are him telling a loved one “I see you,” it’s because he’s come to understand them as a person beyond what he initially thought.

In contrast, Neytiri does not see Spider, her eyes are shut. Instead of seeing Spider as a person, all she sees is just another human who ought to be with his own kind, a demon. And this is honestly fine, Neytiri isn’t Spider’s mother or caretaker so she’s not obligated to try and understand him as anything deeper than her enemies child and her own children’s best friend.

However, because Neytiri refuses to see Spider as anything other than another human, she lets this hatred for him and his heritage fester until she feels comfortable to threaten his life and see him as a means to an end. And that, no matter how much one may argue it’s understandable from her perspective, leads to dire consequences.

Namely, Spider’s choice to save Quaritch.

Now, before anyone yells at me let me clarify — I am not saying that Neytiri is responsible for Spider’s choice, nor is she responsible for any harm Quaritch will cause in the upcoming movies. However, it’s undeniable that her actions influenced Spider’s decision, whether directly or indirectly.

When Neytiri threatened Spider’s life, Quaritch initially plays off the fact that he’s technically not his son, citing that they aren’t even the same species. But when Neytiri pushes even further, he breaks and shows that he does actually care about Spider, willing to let go of his hostage in order to protect him.

This is big for Spider as his only major desire is to have a family, specifically a parental figure who genuinely cared about him as he is. I’d even go as far as to say that this moment probably proved to Spider that Quaritch cares about him as more than just a mean’s to an end. He’d already helped Quaritch bond with an Ikran and find the Sully family(against his will), he had nothing else to offer but Quaritch still wanted him alive.

This, along with the months they spent together, are what pushed Spider to make his decision at the end of the movie, a decision he was explicitly conflicted about.

And this came about from Neytiri’s decision. I know a lot of people would argue that Neytiri had to do this because it was the only way to save her daughter, and I’ll agree that there weren’t many options for her. But this wasn’t a tactical move she was making, she wasn’t bluffing or putting on a show to force Quaritch’s hand, she was explicitly going to kill Spider just to make Quaritch hurt in the same way she was hurting.

Also, if we want to nitpick we could also say that the months Quaritch and Spider spent together also came about as a result of her actions. When they’re running away from the Recoms, Spider is the only one who falls to the ground and Neytiri doesn’t even think to try and go get him.

“B-But there’s no way Neytiri would’ve been able to save him and get away! She has her own children to worry about!” I hear you typing in the notes of this post, and to that I say you’ve got a point.

However, the fact that Neytiri doesn’t even consider going down to rescue him, doesn’t look over the branch and hesitate before making the difficult decision to prioritize Kiri and feel bad about it later shows that her reasoning is solidly NOT rooted in him being one of her kids or not.

She doesn’t even try, and because of that Quaritch and Spider end up forming the basis for a solid bond.

TLDR; Neytiri’s fatal flaw is that she allows her anger and hatred to cloud her better judgment and control her, leading to a destructive attitude that can ultimately hurt the people she loves and make things worse for her.

Now, what does this have to do with her arc going forward?

At this point, I’m pretty sure everyone has heard at least a little bit about the next movie, Avatar Fire and Ash. I’ve seen people theorizing that the fire tribe will be joining forces with the RDA, that they don’t believe in Eywa, and that Neytiri will have to infiltrate the tribe in order to rescue her children.

I’m not certain whether any of this is true, but what I am certain of is that — if these concept arts hold water by the time the movie is released — then the fire tribe we’ll be encountering in the third movie is going to be an extremely violent community, likely one that puts emphasis on anger and hatred.

And if the rumors are true and Neytiri really is going to be infiltrating them, then Neytiri’s flaws might be able to inform what narrative role the Ash People and Varaang in particular will have in the third movie.

I’ve already explained how in depth how her flaw is how she allows her anger to take control of her and close her vision; she’s volatile like lava and burns hot like fire, becoming liable to burn everything and everyone around her.

From that perspective, she seems more suited to be a fire Na’vi rather than a forest or reef one, no? The choice to take us to a volcanic, fire steeped region isn’t just James Cameron checking off the boxes like “oh we did forest and water, fire next!” its him taking us to a we might find uncomfortably befitting of our worst traits.

And that’s basically what I think Neytiri will have to face upon encountering the Ash People — they are the embodiment of all her flaws put on display.

Varaang specifically may work as her narrative foil, a literal funhouse version of her at her worst(from my perspective the concept art of Varaang actually looks a lot like Neytiri, so that’s interesting).

I also think it’s important to note that Neytiri is absolutely going to find out that Spider saved Quaritch in the third movie, or at least it’s incredibly likely if the Ash People really will be working with Quaritch. That means that her hatred for him and her need for revenge will come back into play, this isn’t over.

But this time things will be different, because in between Neytiri learning of Spider’s betrayal she will also get especially close to the Ash People and find that she is uncomfortably similar to them at her worst. Before she does something she might regret, Neytiri will be forced to ask herself some important questions:

Is revenge really worth it? Is this the kind of person she wants to be? If Jake wasn’t there that night, would she have the blood of a child on her hands? Will she hurt other people she loves because of her anger?

These questions are ones she likely never wanted to ask herself, but they’re necessary because she’s starting right in the face of people who didn’t.

Hopefully, she finds that the answer is no.

[isekai-crow]

Mashle Ending Cars

My Beetle is a massively certified mechanic in Japan who is a bit of a motorcycle fanatic. (I cannot emphasize how much I am understating the term FANATIC here.)

So naturally since I know nothing about cars and they're tangentially related to motorcycles, I asked him to tell me the names of all the cars in the ending, and he did well.

Mash - Nissan Fair Lady's Z 2008 model - He was able to get this one immediately and was like, "Anyone who knows their cars would know this immediately."

Lance - Beetle thought it was a Mazda RX-8 but it might be an import model - We guessed a Ferrari, but a lot of them have different headlight shapes.

Dot - Jeep Wrangler. Thats it. No numbers for you lmao

Finn - Morgan Plus 4 (had to google this one because too many similar looking classic cars and this STILL doesn't look exactly right.)

Rayne - Rolls Royce Phantom III baybee

I LOVE THAT THE AMES BROS HAVE CLASSIC OLDIE CARS. THEY'RE SO STYLISH. We already know that Finn is the only one in the main group with any sense of style and THIS JUST PROVES IT. I wanna go for a spin with him.

(Also classic cars as SO. FUCKING. EXPENSIVE. to own in Japan. The older your car is the more you pay in taxes. Which I wonder if it means anything here...)

Draco Malfoy Ryoh Grantz- Mercedes-Benz Vision Gran Turismo or one of the other versions. This also took a bit of googling cause he could only pin the Brand Name and not the car itself cause it's too new.

Harry Potter Orter Madl- Ashton Martin Vanquisher (THE NAMING SENSE. DID THEY PICK THIS CAR SOLELY FOR THE NAME VANQUISHER???)

Carpaccio - Porche Boxster - He picked up on the headlights immediately because we had a low budget Porche at one point, inherited from his brother.

Margarette Macaron - BMW r100 - This was of course the fastest on he pinned and AHHH MY BELOVED MARGARETTE they're so cool for riding a motorcycle.

Also.

The Mash's dads on a driving date.

Love that for them. So sweet.

And fucking of course this is a euphamism for magic and MASH IS THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A DRIVER'S LICENSE SO HE'S PUSHING THE CAR.

AND THAT CAR IS IN PARK AND/OR HAS THE BREAKS ON because of course it fucking does why am I surprised lmao

This song is a banger too. When I get around to it, I wanna do a break down of the lyrics to this and other OPs and EDs.

[rocals]

mcr as items in my hospital's supply closet

ray: saline flushes. I am always needing one. I use them for every IV (they lock into the IV port!), for wound care, for flushing drains and irrigating catheters. understated humble hero. I keep them (rimages and flushes) on me at all times

mikey: 2x2 gauze pads. these mfers don't even come in individual sterile packaging, just one big package, so you cant use it for most wounds. it's just a bunch of tiny gauze. great to use with a bandaid after blood draws or IV sticks. kind of dinky to look at but serves an important specific purpose. kind of looks like a sleeve of saltines. just like Mikey does

frank: not really one thing, but the combination of a biohazard lab bag and large durapore tape. I cut the bag open at the bottom, stick someone's arm inside, and tape it on securely to let them shower without getting their IV wet. some hospitals have specific products for this but they are expensive. frank would vibe with the diy ethos of making your own medical equipment and also the bitch loves to shower

gerard: external catheter (for penis and vulva). these hook up to suction to keep patients who are incontinent clean and dry :) because I cannot imagine how difficult life would be without them <3 and. well.

[aeoris4lovers]

when caleb is talking to the nein about his past before the dinner with trent, he tells them that in the time he spent under trent, astrid and wulf never wavered in their dedication or willingness. after rereading his origins comic, though, i think he’s wrong. i think there was a pretty significant period of time where eadwulf specifically was having doubts about what they were doing right in front of his eyes.

exhibit a: the bodies

this is the most subtle example of it, but it’s also the earliest and probably represents the very beginnings of whatever doubts were brewing in wulf’s mind.

in both of these instances, there’s a dead or unconscious body on the ground, and wulf is staring at it while bren talks to trent. it’s hard to tell where he’s looking in the second one, but a later frame makes it clear that he’s looking in the direction of a body.

in the first one particularly, he looks to me like he’s visibly upset — his face isn’t as stoic as the others, and his body language looks uncertain, not his usual crossed-arm stance.

these were the moments that first caught my eye. they brought up questions in my mind: what is he thinking? what’s going through his head as he looks at the people they just hurt?

exhibit b: the bath scene

this comes immediately after the second body, and is what confirmed in my mind that wulf definitely isn’t entirely on board with the things they’re being told to do.

he closes the door behind them and just stands with his fist against it. none of them look happy by any means, but it’s clear that he’s upset to a point where even bren and astrid, in the midst of their own feelings, look concerned and go to comfort him.

bren in particular takes a long moment with him before the two of them rejoin astrid. i’ll get into why that — and bren’s role in general — is significant in a moment.

exhibit c: the morning after

this is the most important point in all of this, and the significance of his reaction here really can’t be understated.

in this moment, trent has just drawn their attention to their “memories” of their parents defying the empire. these are, from their point of view, very real and undeniable memories. and yet, the reaction we see here from wulf is one of explicit and absolute rejection.

and he’s not just denying what trent wants him to believe — he’s angry. he’s standing up and slamming a hand on table and raising his voice. doubt has been simmering under the surface in him for a while now, and this is the moment that trent crosses a line. trent has presented something truly unthinkable to him and despite his own memories supporting it, he absolutely cannot believe it. on a very visceral level, he knows it can’t be right.

this moment is significant not only because it confirms beyond a shadow of a doubt that wulf is not completely sure of what they’re doing, but also because we literally never see another student of trent openly defy him like this, nor do we see any volstrucker do so.

let me repeat that: until caleb goes up against him with the nein, eadwulf is the only person we ever see look trent in the eye and say “you’re wrong.” even after all of campaign two, we never see someone actively working under him defy him that explicitly — it’s only caleb, who escaped his control, or people like the nein with no real connection to him. even when astrid acts against him, she does it very quietly and is clearly terrified of those actions being alluded to at the dinner. wulf is the only one we ever see who, while at trent’s mercy, dares to openly and completely reject him.

bringing his family into it was a step too far. at this point, wulf isn’t just struggling with what they’re being told — he’s absolutely not having it anymore.

so what gives?

we know that he ultimately believes trent enough to kill his parents, and is even the first of the three to do it, so how do we get to that level of agreement from such a powerful moment of anger and denial?

that’s where bren comes in.

looking back at that breakfast scene, we can also see how the other two react to their own memories coming to light.

astrid’s is one of betrayal. she’s confused and struggling to understand why they would do it, but she doesn’t deny it either.

bren’s, on the other hand, is one of defeat. he’s clearly upset, but he’s simultaneously totally certain that what they’re remembering is true. and of course he is — his memory has been impeccable his entire life. why would he start to question it now, even if he doesn’t want to believe what it’s telling him?

bottom line: while astrid clearly also struggles with it and may have her own doubts, though not as strong as wulf’s, bren takes it all in stride and never wavers.

and if there’s one thing we know about wulf, it’s that he trusts his people. throughout his scenes in campaign two, we see him looking to astrid for signs of what to do or say and deferring to her when he’s overwhelmed by or unsure of the situation at hand. when caleb takes his hand at the blooming grove, he follows, and when astrid takes his hand and leads him away, he follows her. where they go, he follows. he trusts them implicitly and he looks to them when he doesn’t know what the right call is.

so what is he going to do in that moment, when his own mind is telling him something that he absolutely can’t believe and he doesn’t know how to reconcile it? he looks to them for guidance.

astrid clearly isn’t in a place to offer much, and hasn’t been. she’s not as lost in doubt as he is, but she’s not certain enough to reassure him either. we can already see that in the bath scene — remember when i said it was significant that bren is the one to stay with wulf while astrid goes off on her own? she wants to comfort him and tries to because she cares about him, but it seems that her conviction isn’t quite strong enough to be a steady base for someone else. and in the breakfast scene, we see that again, with her not openly going against it but still struggling with it in a way bren doesn’t.

bren, on the other hand, is consistently certain that they’re doing the right thing, even when it feels bad. caleb says as much himself when he first tells beau and nott his story: “i was so sure, i was so sure, until i wasn’t.” hearing his parents scream as they die is genuinely the first time he ever has doubts. until that moment, he’s sure. he trusts his mind and he trusts trent and he believes in their cause.

so when he sees wulf struggling with it, what does he do? he offers that certainty, reminds him of why they’re doing what they do, assures him that they’re doing the right thing and he doesn’t have to feel guilty. he’s their rock, the one wulf and astrid can trust to be sure even when their faith is shaken.

and that’s exactly what i think happens in the time between that breakfast and the night they kill their parents: bren sees wulf angry and totally lost trying to make sense of the massive gulf between what he remembers and what he knows to be true, he sees astrid confused and not able to put the pieces together, and he reassures them because he trusts his mind and so do they and he doesn’t want to see them struggle.

and i think astrid needs less convincing, but once she’s sure too and it’s only wulf that can’t accept it, that’s when he starts to think that maybe the unthinkable could really be true. bren is certain of what he remembers and astrid is certain that bren is right, so how can wulf, who trusts and relies on them so much for guidance, not at least entertain the idea that his parents really are traitors? how can he deny it and, in doing so, deny them?

that’s how he can ultimately go and do what he’s told, with such a stern and certain look on his face as he does. because his people were sure that it was the right thing to do, and no matter how strongly he feels that something must be wrong, he trusts them even more than he trusts himself.

that’s not to say that his doubts are completely quelled, though, because there’s still more of this thread that we can follow.

exhibit d: the aftermath

wulf’s move to knock bren out and save astrid is a quick and decisive one in the moment, but it’s clear that he isn’t at all sure if he did the right thing. he talks to trent — explaining himself, maybe even apologizing because he thinks he was wrong — and trent has to stop him and say that no, he was right.

this is significant for two reasons. the first and more obvious of the two is that this shows he’s still in a headspace of questioning what he’s doing almost immediately after doing it. that doubt was quelled long enough to allow him to complete the “exercise”, but not by any means gone for good.

the second, which i think is the most important to the person he ultimately becomes, is that this is the first time he’s had to look to trent for reassurance.

before this moment, it’s bren and astrid who comfort and reassure him. but now, bren is lost to them and astrid is in no shape to offer any comfort, much less give him the reassurance bren might have. and she might not want to do so even if she could — she wanted to save bren, not leave him behind, and may very well be angry at wulf for the choice he made. so what choice does he have, with neither of them able to support him, but to look to his mentor for reassurance?

and what happens once he gets that reassurance from trent? before, he doubted trent and even openly defied him, but can he continue to do that now?

if he wants to be able to live with himself after, to live with the choice he made and sleep at night, he has to believe that the reassurance trent offered him that night was right — he has to believe that trent’s judgment is right. if trent is lying or just wrong, that means he did the wrong thing that night, and where can he go from there?

that night is a turning point for wulf not just because he took his parents out of the picture, but because he made a decision that ended up forcing him to trust trent to an extent that he really didn’t before.

the new eadwulf

the wulf that we meet in campaign two as an adult is a far cry from the wulf who stood up at that table and said “no, they would never.” he comes across as largely apathetic to and even comfortable with the things they do — it’s just a job for him, not something to overthink or get hung up on. as far as he’s concerned, the lives they take are unfortunate but still necessary sacrifices, just like trent always said.

and if you ask me, his journey to becoming that person, to the doubt and the fire in him being all but completely stomped out, starts with the night he was forced to give up his one source of constant reassurance and finally put his trust in trent instead. everything we see him do to separate himself from his actions, from his belief in fate and his “good soldier” attitude to the drink he has ready after spending time with trent, stems from that moment. he is the way he is when we meet him not because he simply doesn’t care, but because he can no longer afford to.

caleb says they never wavered while he was with them, but i think it’s only because his vision was clouded by his own certainty that he never saw it. he just couldn’t believe that they might not believe in their cause as much as he did because it seemed so right to him, and how could he believe that the people he loved would doubt something so important?

but they did doubt it, especially wulf, and even as an adult, little bits of that stick around in him — he immediately gravitates toward caduceus after caduceus stands up to trent, and as soon as trent isn’t a threat anymore, he’s perfectly content to just stay with caleb (and probably would have if astrid hadn’t pulled him away when she did).

i think, if bren hadn’t been selected for the volstrucker program or just hadn’t been as confident as he was in all of it, it may very well have been eadwulf who found himself standing against trent in the end.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Mokoi - Day 80

Race: Night

Arcana: Death

Alignment: Neutral-Chaos

July 26th, 2024

During my research about this topic, I found myself finding out about an ongoing health crisis relating to the yolngu people, and this post is dedicated to spreading awareness. Please remember to treat all of these topics with respect.

Aboriginal folklore is very separated from itself, oddly enough- In spite of Australia being the smallest continent, several beliefs are spread throughout in specific areas, making for a colorful tapestry where you can never be sure what the next area will believe in, in spite of the general overarching themes of Dreamtime. Case in point, the Yolngu people residing in northeastern Arnhem Land, an aboriginal tribe living in the Northern Territory who believe in systems of kinship and a nomadic hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Important to this culture as well is conceptions of magic, and, more importantly, what to avoid- the deep, dark underbelly of said world of magic. If one is to partake in the dark arts, after all, they would meet with a fate most undeserving- to be cursed by today's Demon of the Day, Mokoi.

As with a lot of Aboriginal folklore, Mokoi are relatively obscure in many respects. Most of the time, sources only state a line or two going over this monster, whose name literally translates to 'Evil Spirit,' describing it as a monster who would eat naughty children and devour sorcerers who dared to step into the realm of the dark. This is strange, though, as Mokoi appear to be an incredibly important fixture in Yolngu tradition, being described as the main source of death throughout the people-group... so today's gonna be another deep dive. And so soon after Arahabaki, too... ah, well. Thank you again to @eirikrjs for providing a very good rundown on this demon in this post. How do you keep coming through for me in the most random ways? Whatever, let's get into this.

As attested to in the 1970 article Myth as Language in Aboriginal Arnhem Land, the book Mortuary customs of northeast Arnhem Land, as well as... an Australian tonic blog, no I'm not kidding, an ancient tradition of the Yolngu people states that there are two different parts of the soul- one of the good, another of the bad. These parts of the soul are referred to as Birrimbirr and Mokuy, and when someone within the tribe passes away, their soul may take either of these forms based on their actions in life. However, while a birrimbirr will typically head back to its place of origin and pass peacefully, a mokuy will stick around, generally being a nuisance with asocial and unpredictable behaviors while haunting the deceased's belongings. This plays into a common tradition in Yolngu folklore, that being of the avoidance of uttering the deceased's name- not only will saying the name of a dead person possibly bring more grief to their family members and friends, but it may also bring their spirit back restlessly into the form of none other than a Mokoi, which appears to be an alternate spelling of Mokuy.

The Mokoi are dangerous spirits that appear frequently as a sort of boogeyman, attacking those who don't go out of their way to avoid them. It's to the point that the Yolngu people frequently make sculptures of the Mokoi, likely to alleviate the threat of them getting upset with them (or maybe they just wanted to sculpt them, I dunno). These spirits attack any who defile their graves, or even get too close to said graves, and those who do so or invoke the name of the dead long after their death may risk a sort of 'Spiritual Pollution' wherein they and their family suffer illness and eventual death. The consequences of speaking the names of the dead will lead to eventual death of oneself, after all. It's said, though I can't find a direct source for it so take this with a pinch of salt, that more people in Yolngu culture die of a Mokoi's attack than old age.

The importance of the mokuy and the birrimbirr cannot go understated, as well as the love and respect the Yolngu people feel for the dead. It's to the point that mentioning the name of a deceased person, even if one isn't afraid of an attack by the mokuy, is still frowned upon, and honestly, I find that beautiful. The amount of love and importance these people put on their ancestors is incredibly high and the love and respect everyone in their community shows that they are still people, deserving of love and respect. With that, though, how does a Japanese franchise portray a being from a completely different and closed-off tribe? Well, it's mixed.

Mokoi doesn't seem to take much inspiration from the Mokuy sculptures that typically depict it, though I can see them being hard to adapt.

Instead, it seems to primarily base itself off of the patterning of the sculptures, looking more like a green being loosely based on them carved out of wood and carrying with it a kylie to likely tie it even more with Australia, given that, well, boomerangs are the Australian stereotype. It's a bit stereotypical as a result of that, but I still do enjoy how it looks, being a funky and iconic design for a demon that still seems to carry some weight behind it.

However, through my research I came to learn that a lot of the yolngu people are in need of help, and I'd like to take a moment to rectify a mistake I made in my lwa analysis and actually speak on this. I don't have much room to actually speak on a still thriving community of people that I'm not a part of, but the yolngu people are currently going through a health crisis and I'd like to use this post as a way to spread awareness about this. As a still living people-group who are experiencing damages, and had their areas of worship ruined by various policy changes in Australia, I'd like to ask you to try and help them in any way that you can. While I'm not sure if this one has been vetted, please try to use any charity possible to assist these people in need, as they have gone through a lot.

[batsplat]

casey if you want the showers-

https://www.tumblr.com/kingofthering/766887733130084352/sounds-fantastic

random thought: maybe being a part of a structure like the academy might have fixed teenage casey stoner……

(x) he's getting in the shower, he's enjoying the sausage, he's having it all

and oh hm this is SUCH an interesting idea that had never occurred to me. with the academy, I often think about how valentino himself never ever would have joined it... just this implicitly subservient position to another rider, any restraints placed on individualism, losing the ability to define himself to the same extent... I do actually think valentino would be pretty good at team sports, like it's not a loner mentality that would be the dealbreaker - it's just that specifically the academy vibe would not have been for him

with casey... I mean, yeah, maybe? yeah, I reckon you're right. that could have worked miracles for casey. the closest he got was being one of alberto puig's kids for a while (hence the 27 to dani's 26), but obviously that was a very different vibe. this is how puig is being described in 2006 (x):

Puig is a very powerful figure in the paddock, running teams in the lower classes, as well as the MotoGP Academy, widely acknowledged as the best route into premier class racing for young riders. His influence is hard to exaggerate, and when you add in his forceful personality, known for attempting to silence those who criticize his riders, this makes him a potentially disruptive figure in any team. He is, like so many people involved at the very highest levels of professional sport, utterly driven, and people who are so driven often find it difficult to keep a sense of perspective. Alberto Puig is concerned with only one thing: that the riders he coaches should win. Nothing else matters. In a sense, this is totally understandable: He is paid to nurture young talent to produce winning riders, and he is remarkably good at his job. But his focus and his drive rubs off on his protégés, and can turn them into single-minded, dour automatons, concerned only with their own performance, and little else.

not very valentino, is it. like you do probably want an actual academy-esque structure where the kids within it actually get the chance to... y'know. bond. care about each other. no puig

and while puig did play a critical role in casey's career, that's still a connection that had more or less fizzled out by the time casey gets to motogp. so obviously no real equivalent in casey's career. and... I mean, yeah, surely it would have changed a lot. it always comes back to the same few things with casey, doesn't it. casey, who was bullied at school, who was frequently made an outsider even in the australian motorcycling community until he was eventually pushed out of the country entirely... the impact of this hypothetical academy structure does depend a bit on when it would GET to casey - because by the age vr46 typically steps in, a lot of casey's formative experiences have already happened to him. he doesn't get a racing licence from the AJRRA (the australian road racing association controlled mainly by parents of kids casey had been beating most of his life). he has to leave the country. they leave his sister behind. they depend on the charity of others in england. his family is 100% financially dependent on his racing success. every opportunity feels like it could be his last. like... this is stuff that's kind of set by the time he's 14-15. the contrast between his childhood and valentino's is discussed in this post:

and yeah, obviously a lot of that stuff would have already happened. then again, having somebody step in when he was... what, maybe 16-17-ish? and give him some job + financial security... I mean in blunt terms, I know this ask was probably more thinking about the community aspect - but you cannot understate the importance that these practical elements would have had for casey. and yes, there's the more emotional element of... finally being let into a club, of having someone fight your corner, of knowing you've got this structure looking out for you. of handling your contract negotiations - casey also talks about how he and his father frequently just felt like they didn't GET the paddock politics; the insider/outsider dynamic is so foundational to his experience in the sport. all these unspoken rules casey just didn't know... having someone there who DOES know and is looking out for you and can take care of everything bar the riding would have made such a difference

and my god, yeah, there's the community aspect. so much of casey's time in the sport is defined by how deeply, deeply lonely he was. the childhood friendships he'd had either get left behind or are eroded by competitive tensions. he never gets close to another premier class rider, doesn't get particularly close to his team either. in 2009, he said his only friend in the paddock was his wife. and... y'know, while I have no doubt the paddock could feel like a pretty hostile place, I also reckon it would've been a good thing for someone to force casey out of his shell a little bit. like, I get not getting close to your direct competitors, I doubt I'd be massively different, but maintaining that level of distance from basically everyone you travel with most of the year feels... not ideal. at least befriend some of the mechanics my man. looking at some of the canonical vr46 academy riders - naming no names, but I can also easily imagine them in the loner category if the academy hadn't picked them up. and at least THEY could still fall back on childhood friends and acquaintances if they hadn't had the academy, more so than a bloke who moved to a different continent aged fourteen. casey needed some friends!! and maybe just an occasional reminder that not the whole world is out to get him

so YEAH I do agree an academy-esque structure would've made a MASSIVE difference... to the extent that it's almost tough to imagine that version of casey. it does make you realise just how foundational all of this angst feels to casey, in a sad way. what does he even look like without his isolation... you might wonder whether that change would take a bit of his edge away - it's just undeniable that he got a lot of motivation and drive out of his oppositional dynamic with the rest of the world. he wanted to show everyone that they were wrong about him... the rejection by the club back home in australia made him angry, the rejection of teams in motogp made him angry... and well, his circumstances did make him desperate. they made him hungry. it's what he talks about here, isn't it, the feeling that some young riders just aren't taking their riding seriously enough, contrasting it to how he knew he had to take every single opportunity he was given. valentino vs casey about young riders (2009//2013):

(remember that the question valentino got explicitly referred back to an earlier answer about casey - "serious and sad" is kinda his characterisation of casey specifically)

then again. saying this pain was necessary to casey's success would be needlessly myopic, casey has plenty of drive even without piling on the horrors when he was 16-20, give the kid some friends y'know. you can still be plenty neurotic within an academy, you can still cultivate a persecution complex, look at pecco. also, y'know, obviously sports success isn't worth miserable children and never will be. and I suspect casey himself has softened a bit from the stance expressed in his autobiography - I've been thinking again about that podcast interview he gave earlier this year that takes a more explicitly critical view on how his parents forced their dream on him

speaking of, another big benefit of the academy is in outsourcing the role of enforcing discipline so that it's no longer the parents doing it, which again just feels considerably healthier. casey basically says as much in his autobiography:

though, again, I wouldn't call puig a particularly helpful influence either, and jorge's experience with amatriain should be enough evidence that it doesn't take a parent to establish an unhealthy (and even abusive) dynamic. obviously, the assumption here is that you drop casey in a vr46-esque academy - for all his sins, the academy valentino set up in no way resembles how these other 'talent spotters' manage their charges. it's just... it's a safety net, isn't it, in every sense. financially, job security-wise, socially... obviously it's always going to be performance-dependent, yes, but that bit's never going to be an issue for any version of casey

so, yeah. maybe not 'fix' casey exactly, but it would've changed so much for him... it does feel like it would've been an unambiguously positive presence in his life. no, it wouldn't just erase all his issues with the sport - but if he could've found a place within an academy structure like that, he would've been a lot happier for it. probably could've loved the sport more than he did. certainly would've felt a lot less alone

[officialpenisenvy]

gio I need to know what are your top three most gauche things like “I can never be seen in the opera again” type of stuff

god i wouldn't know about my top three most gauche things universally there are so many gaucheries out there in our wide world. however some gauche fashion choices that come to mind are the following

mixing cold and warm metals especially yellow gold and silver (honestly even mixing a cold silver and a warm silver is quite gauche but it is quite impossible to achieve this at all times)

mixing really dark blue and black (ESPECIALLY when the blue is desaturated and greyish. the horror!!!! honestly id say don't mix blue and brown either but i have seen it pulled off so who knows really)

wearing rings and bracelets over gloves (i know this is a done practice but it will never not look tacky and childish to me. you look like a little girl with her costume jewelry playing dress up in your mother's closet)

employing what are very clearly meant to be pieces of a suit as separates (there are types of suits that can pass off as separates but so many people just orphan their tuxedo jackets or trousers and call it a day. barf)

mixing brown and blue leather (this is something i desperately wish i was able to ignore because i have so many beautiful brown belts and no shoes to wear them with. but how could i survive the shame)

improper use of the "pop of colour" (i cannot possibly explain this in words but you surely have seen outfits that would be decent to great utterly destroyed by a dastardly and nonsensical "pop of colour". nobody understands the understated beauty of the monochrome or of the subtle analogous colour vs the complementary one)

being underdressed for the situation (by which i mean i would rather be overdressed than underdressed if im going somewhere. dress codes are my favourite thing in the entire world because im terminally autistic)

tucking a shirt or t-shirt or whatever into your pants too tightly (there is a happy middle but i would much rather see an extremely loosely tucked top than one of those horridly tight tucks that wrinkle vertically and bulge and poorly approximate a leotard fit)

not having an understanding of proportions and the rule of thirds (which doesn't mean having to follow them every time but it is important to have an understanding of the rule before you start breaking it i think)

[mobpsycho100]

I've been following your blog for a while, love your gifs.

I am going through my first pregnancy at the moment, do you have any advice?

congrats! ok so theres SO much advice i could give that i personally wish i knew back then but for brevity sake, im gonna try to hit the main points.

so not to be a downer about it but for me hearing this would have made me feel so much better back then. that being that pregnancy sucks and its ok to not love it and not love the aches, pain and fatigue amongst other VARIOUS symptoms but. itll be over before you know it.

also its fun and cute following along those pregnancy apps that are like baby is the size of a grape this week next week its the size of cherry tomato whatever but its literally so dumb lol. i wish i got more acquainted with the actual birth process and what happens after. knowing what to expect in the newborn stage is WAY more important.

another thing i didnt know! find out if breastfeeding is important to you or not because learning how to breastfeed and how that process words is really really hard. i wish i knew what i know now about breastfeeding it would have saved all those tears in the first 4 months of her life. if its even remotely something you want to do get well researched on it.

on the topic of labour, get acquainted with sitting leaning forward as much as you can help it, it will help make labour easier. dont over do it but exercise as you normally do, dont do what i did which is sit on my ass most of my pregnancy and it made me freshly post partum so much weaker and also lead to me tearing so badly while giving birth that for my next pregnancy they already said im gonna have to consider a C section so i cannot understate this point enough. on the note of tearing, learn about pelvic floor exercies and do them as often as possible.

lastly, take it as easy as possible after birth. get as much help as you can. sleep in as much as possible and just. spend the first 2-3 months relaxing and bonding. not just cause you need it but because ive been told by multiple relatives that any aches and pains you don’t heal by pushing urself too hard carry forward into the rest of your life so really take the time to heal.

[megashadowdragon]

volume 0 of jjk is more important then you think

because the idea that a burdensome level of strength is nothing but a curse, is literalised with Yuta. Rika is literally a curse that's formed out of love. this same plight is not as apparent with Gojo Satoru and Kashimo Hajime. with these two, their mannerisms say far more.

what's noteworthy is that the resolution of Gojo's own crisis is 100% opposite of how Yuta's was resolved, and it looks to be the same for Kashimo as well. Yuta forgoes his overwhelming strength by dispelling the curse on Orimoto Rika, and prioritizes his bonds with his people.

after all, that's the central theme of volume 0. as such, the most interesting thing about the shift between the prequel and the main series is just how COMPLETELY the main series contradicts the themes of the prequel.

the main series, so far, has severely punished anyone that prioritizes their bonds over a robust sense of self + selfish pursuit of power. the special grades are the best example of this. Tsukumo Yuki worked with Tengen and Choso; she didn't fight with her own domain.

only in death could he stand on an equal footing with his comrades. the framing of these demises in the main series is so deliberately opposed to how the thematic framework of JJK 0 functions. and the reason is none other than the King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna.

Sendai, the City of Trees. established in the year 1600 by the daimyō Date Masamune. Date Masamune was a descendant of the Fujiwara. any JJK reader knows the significance of the Fujiwara clan in the series

the emphasis JJK gives to the Fujiwara cannot be understated. lemme run through some key examples rq. the turning point of the series, the Shibuya incident, happens in the vicinity of the Meiji Jinguu, a shrine dedicated to Empress Shōken, a deified member of the Fujiwara clan.

the revival of the Heian era, which saw the supremacy of the Fujiwara clan in the political scene, also plays a part in this. Onmyōdō, or sorcery, was at its peak in the Heian era. Ashiya Dōman, one of the most prominent sorcerers in history, was a hiree of the Fujiwara.

and this specific fact is called back to in the New Shadow Style: Simple Domain, developed by Ashiya Sadatsuna, being utilised widely in the series. the relevance of all this to the topic at hand is that Yuta is a descendant of the Sugawara clan.

symbolically, literally and meta-textually, Yuta is removed from a position of importance, and a guy from a Fujiwara-established city replaces him.

all of this is why some wouldn't feel confident about Yuta continuing to be in good health for the rest of the series 💀🚩

all the special grades in the series have been murked, except Yuta. you can clearly see why people would think he's next. BUT NOT ME! and here's why: in the Sendai colony, i.e. in the same city established by the Fujiwara, he beats Uro Takako, a hiree of the Fujiwara.

he cyclicality that JJK is obsessed with plays out on various levels, but Yuta is the only exception. and I mean the ONLY exception. not even Gojo was exempt. Yuta, a Sugawara, beats someone that was associated with the Fujiwara. it plays out the opposite of how it's meant to.

in conclusion, i think we should put our stocks in Yuta. someone that won't be the next Gojo Satoru sounds about desirable rn. Vol-0 is a treasure trove of hints when we reread with new context. i hope i gave you new insight, or at least a fun read.

"

I can’t wait for Yuta vs Sukuna, the themes of strength, loneliness, love and modernity vs history finna clash like crazy

The Queen of Curses vs The King of Curses 😤😤😤

Furthermore Yuta as the previous MC whose succeeded despite contradictory themes with Sukuna…

"

[the-punforgiven]

Y'know, I do deeply love the standard Fighter Mage Rogue Healer style of fantasy party configuration, I do truly feel like more adventurers in fantasy should be like, some sort of hybrid caster tbh

Like, magic is all well and good, but sometimes you just don't have the time to perform some incantation or ritual to cast a spell in the heat of battle, and if you're on the other end of that, some times you just straight-up don't have the time to close distance before someone nails you with a magic missile or something

Plus, with things like Mage Armor, (provided your fantasy story doesn't have some sort of rule against pairing it with regular armor, and having it work like some sort of magical overshield or something) I feel like it could also partially justify some styles with weapons that'd be too big/heavy/impractical to use irl, letting the spell soak up hits that a big heavy weapon that forces you to overswing would give your opponent access to. Better yet, you could make use of some sort of retaliatory spell as well, anticipating someone to try and take advantage of your Big Fucking Sword's recovery and punishing it, while also giving you the raw destructive power of a crazy fuckhuge sword to boot

Also like, I know I touched on it earlier, but I CANNOT understate the importance of Small Magic Projectile That Buys You Time To Close Distance, if you're like me and was The One Who Was Stuck With The Sword during your friend group's nerf wars, you probably know already the advantages of something small you can just whip at people whole you close distance

Or like, if you play Elden Ring while and happen to enjoy using Magic Glintblade the fun way

Edit: ALTERNATIVELY YOU COULD ALSO JUST TELEPORT, I GENUINELY DID NOT THINK OF THAT WHEN I WAS MAKING THIS POST THE FIRST TIME

But even then, it doesn't even have to be a particularly strong of even 'good' spell, doesn't even have to actually deal damage, just has to be enough to buy you a couple steps worth of time, and that's all you need sometimes

Plus, having magic gives you a vast array of elemental tools to work with for any aspiring fighter, so if some lesser miniboss comes in gloating about how he's immune to physical damage you can just like, microwave him

Or, for a wizard fighting someone with magic immunity, bonk him on the noggin

And like, I get that narratively that's what having a full party of protags is for, to showcase each character's unique skills and abilities, but also like, in most fantasy worlds where magic is just like, a field of study, rather than some magic bloodline bullshit or whatever, there's literally nothing stopping any adventurer from doing both magic and melee in tandem

[fangaminghell]

desire for your renegade trio :)

(also bonus question but can you tell me more about them esp myo I've heard some things from sleepy and I want to know more)

( points ) Sleepy mention. Hello Sleepy ( waves).

Anyway Jesus fucking Christ my renegade trio where do I even START. This might be long bc there's a lot to unpack here.

SPOILERS FOR 13.5!!!!! Also this bitch is gonna be long so buckle up. Also if there's any spelling errors: whoops!

Let's start with Will bc I think he's the easiest to explain. Wilbur "Will" ???( The only one without a last name). He's the interceptor for my renegade route. Will is.....to be blunt, weak willed. For the majority of rejuv he's heavily paranoid and anxious, and most of his actions come out of fear than anything else. Bc of this, he kinda leans on the likes of Isador for support ( this lead to a small crush on his end, but he never really thought he had a chance, so he isn't suuuuuuper upset when Isador finds someone else). But with his admiration for Isador, it should be stated and cannot be understated that Myo is Will's best friend. They had a rocky start and sometimes it seems questionable, but Myo and Will are best friends. Myo is the angel on Will's shoulder. This is important.

Going back to Will if should be noted that there is a point where Isador isn't part of the group, which coincidentally is when the gang was took that month of training. Myo and Will was the only ones there and this was where Will, for the first time in a long time, was able to build some confidence and friendship with his other teammates. For as much as Isador was someone Will deeply admired, he was also overtly relying on him. Giving a space where he can think and feel and be without Isador really helped him! But good things don't last. A little spoiler for Myo's section, but Myo was taken by Vitus during their mission with Erin and Kanon. Not knowing if they were dead or alive, it didn't matter, it absolutely crushed Will. Bc he saw. With his interceptors wish, he saw Myo get taken and beg not to. Any sense of confidence that was once there was shattered. This was perfect for Kieran and Clear to swoop in, naturally. But they still knew Will needed some convincing so......they got Isador to do it for them. Isador was what made Will agree to renegade - he didn't really want it, but if it meant giving his friends a peaceful end then.....surely it would be worth it, right? Now depending on what route I go with ( Sunburn or Frostbite - more on that later),some events will play out differently but here's the things I do know: Will goes on autopilot essentially. He's miserable, his faith in Isador is honestly very close to shattering ( he's fucking scared of the guy now) and M2 makes things Worse™. His defeatist nature pretty much made him lose hope, going along with a miserable renegade, all the while missing his best friend Myo. Again spoiler for Myo's section but they're alive. Just. Different. Very different. A completely different person. Myosotis Bluebell is the loyal servant of Vitus, and their objective is to carry out his will. And if they fail, well, they are simply discarded. Surprise surprise Myo fails- I like to think they were finally able to get back to their senses. But by that point it's too late. Will holds a dying Myo in his arms, watching them fade away, and listen to their only wish: to be human. To live. And with that wish, that goodbye, came a promise. A promise full of rage and sorrow and hatred for Isador Arkwright. Myo was the one that snapped Will out of his misery. Myo was the one that made Will fully realize that renegade isn't what he wants, and plans to stop it. Myo was the one that unlocked Will's rage. Myo is the angel on Will's shoulder.

The plan was simple. Just play along, no matter how much he hates it. No matter how much he wants to bash Isador's skull in. He will wait. He will be patient. And just when it seems renegade is about to be complete, he will snatch it from Isador's hands. To kill him and reset the world- it will be good. It will be karma. Isador will not win. And it does happen. Of course, things might change here and there once we see more of the renegade route, but overall? It happens. Will stabs Isador through his chest, cursing him to an immortality bound to help the next Interceptor when they do arrive. He will help them, as it is his curse. There is nothing he can do about it. And then the world resets. And Will makes sure life is better for him and Myo. It's selfish, he knows. But he needs this, okay?

In Paragon, Will is a florist that owns a small flower shop in GDC. He had a partner named Abby, who works at a tattoo parlor, and his best friend Myo is a spunky, graffiti artist that has a knack for getting fired from jobs ( "it's bc their assholes!" they always say). Will is actually older in Paragon! He was originally from Aryith ( the region deso is in) and that in my timeline is a few years away before the main events of the game. Myo is still the same age (18) but their friendship is still as strong as ever. Whether or not Will knows of his past life or what has happened to him I'm not sure yet. I do know that he's happy, as he deserves to be.

Myo Bluebell ( or if you look up above, Myosotis Bluebell) is a rowdy, foul mouthed, monster energy drink loving, " I don't give a fuck" half servant. Yes, half servant. Let's go back a little. Myo's father was a simple man that lived in kristilline Town. He had a beautiful wife, and was expecting to have a child. He was an avid goer of Isle of Angels too. Everything was perfect.....until his wife, and by extension his unborn child, dies. And just like that his perfect life is gone. But Myo's father doesn't want to let go. Not yet. Possibly not ever. So he made a deal with the devil: Vitus. The deal was simple: Vitus shall create a servant that was exactly in Myo's father's wife's image( this reminds me I need a name for that man). They would be able to produce a child and thus, his happy family that he had always envisioned would come to pass. In return, Vitus only asked for Myo's father and Myo's soul when the time comes. Myo's father was a foolish man. He agreed immediately. After some time, Myo was born, and Myo's father was a loyal follower of Vitus. Yes, Myo and Gaera knew each other, all the way back then. No they did not get along. Myo back then was a sweet kid actually, if not lonely due to how restrictive Myo's father and Vitus were. They tried becoming friends with Gaera but Gaera hated them sooooo. I haven't fully fleshed out their time in Kristilline but I can already see the religious trauma that came from it. When Vitus and Myo's family moved to Goldenleaf, things played out the same: Myo wasn't really friends with anyone,Gaera hated Myo, etc etc. But there was one day that Gaera took things too far. Gaera was the one that told Myo of their status as a half servant, and their mom as a servant under the control of Vitus all because their father couldn't get over his grief. This shattered Myo's world completely. To just be a toy that fulfilled an old man's fantasy....that was disgusting. To make matters worse, I imagine this was around the time the Wispy Tower fire happened. Myo's father died in that tower. And as for their mother well.....I like to believe she grew to care about Myo a bit. So when it was time to leave, she didn't take Myo with her. Leaving Myo alone. Needless to say, Myo's trust in others was completely ruined.

And now we get to the present. Myo is pretty much considered the town nuisance. They get into trouble, they are very very fouled mouths, and they steal a bunch. " why don't you just leave" " well fuck you too bitch". Myo is only out to look for themself and only themself, just like the rest of that god forsaken town. In canon, half servants don't seem to have powers, but I'm gonna have Myo have some for fun- teleporting short distances is kind of their go too. They also tend to get a bat or a monster energy drink out of nowhere, but it's unclear if that's their powers or not.

Like I said in Will's section, the two are best friends. But it didn't start that way: in fact Myo thought Will was a wimp and Will was terrified of Myo. For all intensive purposes, their friendship should not work. But it does. Myo has hard walls up bc of what happened with their parents,and just in general with Goldenleaf towns behavior. And Will wasn't even trying to break down their walls. But once Myo decides " I'm going to befriend Will to spite Izzy Boy" things just go by so naturally- and soon enough Will is calling Myo their best friend despite Myo feeling like they're the worst person to be best friends with.....but it's nice. Really nice. Myo tells Will things that they wouldn't dare tell anyone else. Myo is constantly telling Isador is fucking shit ( in the nicest way they can muster bc they don't want to hurt Will's feelings). Will is probably the few people that know Myo's love for plushies and cute stuff. What I'm getting at is that these two are besties. Full on besties, despite how different they are, despite how much Myo curse and drink and smack with the bat. They make each other better......which is why it was so painful when Vitus snatched Myo the way he did. The way he had to strip of everything Myo stood for- their freedom, their will to live, their disregard for authority - all of it stripped away to be the perfect servant. Bc again, Vitus had their soul. Myo was no longer Myo, Myo was Myosotis Bluebell. Someone so void of themself, only listening to the commands of their master, Vitus. They were almost robotic, in a way. It was scary. It wasn't Myo. But even despite all that, Myo was still there. Their will to live and be free got out. It cost them their life, and so dying in Will's arms, they cry. They cry that they want to live. They cry that they want to be human, to be free. They cry that they hope Will makes things better. Myo was not there to see Will's resolve. Myo was not there to see Will's rage. Not to hear Will's promise. But they would be proud. So proud, of their best friend. Myo is the angel on Will's shoulder. Never ever forget that.

Myo in Paragon is a human. A full human, all flesh and blood. Their father never had a deal with Vitus. Their mom never died. Myo was still a trouble maker, though that is to be expected. They aren't as rough around the edges as they used to be. They smile more, laugh more, and live their life the way they want to. Still can't land job but that's okay. They, like Will, are happy. Unlike Will, I am 100% certain they would not remember the renegade route. They just live, free and all.

And now. For Isador Arkwright. The bitch ass motherfucker.

Let's start from the beginning. Isador Arkwright was born and raised in Oblitus Town. He lived with his mom, his dad....and his twin brother Theodore. Or as everyone calls him, Teddy. Isador's childhood.... wasn't great. His parents were okay, all things considered. In fact, I would argue they were all happy once. It was moreso the fact that his hometown was actively dying because of the big stupid city up ahead. His town was dying, and the people of his home was losing hope. They often looked at the twins for some sort of guidance - he was no town leader by any means. But his levelheadedness and compassion ( even with a stoic face) was what the people needed at that time. Things were bad, but their dad held some semblance of hope......until he died. He died and desperate for hope, the town looked at Teddy - he was kind and compassionate, and had skills to boot. The people wanted him to make things better. They wanted him to be their hero. No one looked at Isador. Not like how they did with Teddy. Not even their own mother. That was the start to the end.

In Isador's head, he always felt like he had something to prove. His brother was always better than him, always got to loving attention, always was the one who was expected to fix things, and it's never him. And he tries. Isador tried so hard to just have people look at him. But it's always Teddy. He grew to hate Teddy. No matter how kind he was to him. No matter how they were always together. Teddy was the hero and that was enough to make Isador seeth.

Because Oblitus town was dying by the day, and because Teddy was seen as an excellent battler, it was decided that he would take the notoriously easy Kalos league. If news came that poor old Oblitus town was the birthplace of a champion, their old town could be revived, surely. But as things go with twins, they always do things together. So it was only natural that Isador went as well. Teddy hoped that the trip would bring them closer together. Isador hoped that this could be his big break. And in the end, Isador had to quit the league after struggling for so long with a gym leader ( possibly one near the very end). All while Teddy was just about to enter the elite 4. Teddy, seeing that this trip did nothing but tear the two apart more, decided to drop the league entirely, wanting nothing more than to just go home with his brother. Isador never felt more humiliated. And the worst part? Some of the townspeople thought that it was his fault. That he held Teddy back. That was the last straw. Isador needed to kill him. He needed to kill Theodore.

The exact details I still have to work out, but here's the gist. Isador led Teddy into Darchlight Woods. He originally planned to strike and kill his brother, hide the body, and blame it on Darchlight Woods being Darchlight Woods. But something ( that I haven't fully fleshed out but could involve the ground caving in underneath Teddy) happened just as Isador was going for the blow. My vision is that Isador could have helped his brother. He could have. But he didn't. He simply ran, screaming bloody murder as if the Teddy was already gone. By the time he came back with others, Theodore's body was gone, only a blood stain in its place. And Isador waited. He waited for Theodore to come back. Waited for everything to fall apart and be locked out with nothing. But he didn't. Theodore never came back. Isador won. Ha.

Anyways~ After Teddy's death ( as in 3 years after his death), Isador thought that he was out of the clear for good, and thus decided to start over. He doesn't want to go back to Kalos, a harbor of his broken ego. Despite how infamous the Aevium league is, he thought if he really wanted to prove himself, prove his strength, then he would start anew with the league, getting a starter in Gearen City. That's where he met Will, actually! He didn't think much of the man, genuinely thinking he was just a pathetic person he wouldn't pay mind to....only to become his traveling partner. And as such he got to see Will constantly be in dangerous situations, being the one that's looked at, being the "hero" for others- just like Teddy. And for that, Isador hated him. How on earth can a pathetic being like Will get all the glory? Why not him? Why was it never him? It's not fair.

Because Isador has a lot going on, there's just. So many assets that I want to say but honestly can't because have you seen the fucking size of this ask. So I'll talk about two major important things. One of those being a man named Asfrith Lucian. Asfrith doesn't belong to me, he belongs to @eclysia and he is a very important character in relation to Isador. Long story short: they are doomed yaoi. So doomed. A more detailed story: They met in Terajuma. Asfrith was working with kakori to try and disperse the Xen battleships. Naturally, that led him into meeting the Renegade Trio, and more importantly, meeting Isador. He was actually the one that looked after Izzy when he got sick ( heatstroke bc the idiot did not want to take off his scarf in the fucking heat- idiot). Asfrith continued to be by Isador's side after Terajuma- Will and Myo went into the past with Melia and Venam, leaving Izzy behind with Asfrith ( probably bc he was still sick or got injured. Either way, they ditched him lmao). That's when him and Asfrith traveled to West Gearen ( Asfrith needs to get back to GDC, and Isador probably for the call that they'd meet up in East Gearen from the others). By the time the whole gang gets to route 7( which. Is not a place with great memories for Izzy. Between Darchlight Woods and his hometown) , specifically Honec Woods, where they officially become a couple. Surely nothing goes wrong after this, yes?

:)

So yeah, Isador is working with the MFs( Kieran and Clear) under the idea that if he destroys the world, he'd be the one that can provide to those who suffer from it, becoming a hero to all. The hero he was meant to be. Because he's with the MFs, Will was able to join the cause for Renegade. This is where things get interesting.

Isador tells Asfrith. He tells him all of it. And asks him to join him. There are two routes.

Frostbite: Asfrith refuses,causing the two to close their hearts. In the end, Asfrith dies by Isador's hands, and Isador continues on with his goal. His facade is broken, he no longer tries to be this warm hero that his brother was. He is cold and angry.

Sunburn: Asfrith agrees, and Isador is beyond happy. So happy that he smiles are more genuine more.....deranged, than usual. He's more upbeat than usual, too upbeat, too warm- and he still wants to pursue Renegade. Him and the love of his life, because Asfrith is the love of his life, ruling over the world as "heros". It's all he could ever ask for.

If we're talking about which one is canon, it's Frostbite. But regardless of which route, it all ends the same. Will kills Isador. He stabs him through his chest and places a curse on him that will change him forever. And what's more? Will reset everything. Everything except him. And so Isador lives in, within a realm outside of his own. He changed, morphed into a winged beast with horns, waiting for eons and eons just for the interceptor to show up. By that point, he hardly looked like himself. He hardly looked like Isador. And so he gave himself a new name.

Devil.

He had one job: Help the Interceptor. Prevent another renegade. It was what he was cursed to do. And he shall do it.

.

.

.

.

And that's it! God this was long! Hopefully it was all entertaining! And hopefully I made a lick of sense lmao. There's some details I really had to skim over bc of how long this was getting, so feel free to ask if you have anymore questions!!!!! Oh! And I never mentioned Teddy. You should ask about him :)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼 im loving the dynamics you're writing here and i am politely asking for more

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 chris thinks buck is his dad!!!!!! i love them so much

HI! THANK YOU!!!!! <3 <3 <3

45 for 🔼 :

---

He brings a sort of light to any conversation he’s a part of. A brightness, even when it’s clear he’s been wading through a lot of dark lately, in the aftermath of his injury. Shannon doesn’t know how much of a believer she is in fate or destiny or whatever. Some things seem so unfair if that’s all true. Like her mother’s long and repeated fight with cancer, only to lose. But there seems to be something fortuitous about Buck being a coworker by happenstance - Eddie has explained that he almost chose another station - that turned out to be someone important in his life, their son’s life, and now somehow hers, too. Like he’s been woven into things. Whatever tapestry exists of their lives. And with that strange thought in mind, she finds herself persistently wanting to spend more time around him. Even if all she has are those physio appointments. 

The last thing, and it cannot be understated in terms of importance, is Eddie. The change between her and Eddie. They’re not perfect. It’s not some magical one-eighty where their problems are gone and they’re expert communicators. Not at all. They’re still in the limbo of an on-pause divorce, figuring out coparenting, carrying a fuck ton of baggage and trust issues when it comes to each other. That’s not going away any time soon. But it’s alleviating. It’s moving in a direction that feels constructive. Which is more than she can say about anything since she got pregnant with Christopher.

After the night they told Chris about the baby, she came over one school day while Eddie was off work and talked. Given their history, Shannon was sort of scared they’d end up in bed. Thankfully, it didn’t happen. Eddie didn’t make a single advance. Although, maybe Eddie isn’t attracted to her like this. Who knows? Regardless, they ended up having a productive conversation. 

It came down to two very simple matters. Shannon, and having an identity outside of wife, mother, and caretaker to a dying mother. Eddie, and feeling secure in his role in the new shape their family was about to take. 

“I don’t want to only see my kid every other weekend, Shannon,” he had said. “I know the baby will need you more than me, but I can’t do that.”

And it’s so entirely different from the man who enlisted and left and said it was for the best, that she doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s still hung up on being a provider, she thinks. But not in exactly the same way. His time being a single parent to Christopher has changed him. A lot. 

So they’re moving forward. They’re trying. To be friends and co-parents before people who are divorcing each other. They’re talking about Shannon coming to stay with him for a while after the baby is born, so they can both be hands on during those early days. Hence her spending more time there now, just for Chris. So far, despite some residual awkwardness, it’s going okay. 

Take today, for example. Today, Shannon has woken up at Eddie’s, while he is at work.

---

45 for 🚨:

---

Yeah, Eddie is with him on that. 

“I think her timing was great,” Buck says. “Maddie’s daughter is going to have two fantastic parents. Twice more than some people get.”

That causes a wave of silence.

Eddie squeezes his hand. As much for comfort as for a reminder of their plan. Just get through the evening. Then they can go home to Christopher, who is also lucky enough to have two fantastic parents, despite losing one. And all will be right again. 

“Well, yes,” Phillip says after a moment. “It’s… It’s wonderful to see you with a partner who makes you happy, Maddie.”

Eddie narrows his eyes. Not that Buck’s tight grimace this evening is any indication of the relative happiness of their own relationship, but once again, they’re commenting on her life while overlooking his entirely.

“Yes,” Margaret agrees. “Especially after how everything ended with Doug.”

Buck stiffens. 

“Mom,” Maddie scolds. “We really don’t need to talk about him.”

How things ended? Eddie’s brain spins. Wait… The way they’re talking about it just doesn’t make sense. Eddie feels a pit forming in his stomach. He looks at Buck, a question in his eyes. The sad, resigned look on Buck’s face says it all. 

Is that why they’re ignoring him? Because of how Doug died? Because… Because Buck killed him, defending Maddie?

Not when you’ve had to wait this long.

Oh fuck. 

Eddie knew they hadn’t been supportive during the trial… But do they blame him?

“Well, I’m sorry, Maddie. It’s only that we haven’t seen you since,” Margaret defends herself. “So it still comes to mind.”

“Can we switch topics?” Maddie begs. “To literally anything else?”

For the first time that evening, since asking about his name, the Buckleys focus on Eddie. 

“Edmundo, you’re a firefighter too, right?” Phillip asks.

“Eddie,” Eddie corrects. “And, yes. Started at the station about a year before Buck.”

[hauntingofhouses]

i think fandoms can be soooo ridiculous a lot of the time (see: all the nonsensical fan wars, discourse, etc) but i cannot understate how much i actually love fandoms.

like yeah it may be super nerdy and even cringe and outsiders look at it like "why tf do you care about these fictional characters so much?"

but 1) my field is literally..... literary studies..... in which all i do is study fiction and analyse it like an insane person, and 2) even if that WASN'T my field, thinking about the stories we consume is important even for any person to do, because thinking about stories exercises our brain to think critically!! why do you think our ancestors used stories as a medium to share knowledge, to propagate moral values and lessons? stories—telling them, thinking about what they're saying, and caring about the characters within them—are all inherent to the human experience!!!

so that brings me to fandom. because we are literally just making these little communities with each other based on our shared love for a particular story, and for a particular character or theme within them that resonated with us, or whatever. we're all here because we loved a thing so much that we built connections from it!!!

like yeah my irl friends laugh at me when i tell them i write fanfic, cuz ha ha what a nerd what a loser etc, but dude. i made genuine real friendships from fandom alone. from just obsessing over two characters we thought were cute together, we've gone to sending each other gifts and postcards and having voice calls and confiding in each other and sharing parts of us and our personal lives and our cultures (cuz we're all from different countries) with each other! like now i don't even share a fandom with most of my old fandom friends anymore but we still stick by each other and that's amazing???

also like, i cannot emphasise enough how amazing and encouraging it is to share your craft (art/writing/etc) with others in fandom. because for example if i make my own personal art or write my own original work, i'd have no one to share it to, no one interested to see it, and thus no one will be there to provide feedback or encouragement.

but if i post a piece of fan art or fanfic, people actually do see the work i post and care about the craft and the content it's depicting and even share their thoughts on it and that ??? is so motivating and lovely ??? because even though i make art for myself, art is still meant to be shared and seen at the end of the day—even if only with one person. so to be given the means of sharing our art in such a way, to have such a community that fosters so much creativity, it's amazing. i don't really get that anywhere else.

and especially to have this in like, a casual setting, you know, where you can just be yourself and do things according to your own time and energy without the pretenses of professionalism and a perfectly curated resume or portfolio, and all the confines of a rigid work schedule, which would all make the process of creation less fun and less genuine, and instead just more taxing and chore-like.

because fandom is essentially meant to be about doing what's fun for you! it's about sharing your creations and enjoying what others share with you. you make friends and you go ham with it.

and also it's why it's more frustrating when people take things too seriously and legitimately get upset over assumptions of other people's beliefs and hold the most minor grievances that could only be felt if you're like, chronically online.

but on that note, there are definitely still honest-to-god bad people in fandom spaces too (see: racists, TERFS, homophobes, groomers, harassers, etc). but that's the case with all communities, because bad people are always going to exist, and thus statistically speaking, the bigger a group or community is, higher chances are there's gonna be some awful people in there. but honestly that is its own can of worms and also that's not what this post is about, but i felt it necessary to address because i don't want to paint fandom as like, the best thing ever in the world, because fandom spaces are incredibly flawed, as everything is.

but i've always been one to appreciate things despite its flaws. and though this may be very personal to me, when i love things so much, i am still willing to stick around and try to change the culture around it in the ways that i can (like promoting internet safety measures, creating safe spaces for thoughtful and polite discussion, raising awareness on harmful stereotypes and fandom depictions or opinions, etc).

so regardless of the bullshit that online fandom spaces tend to perpetuate, i do very much still love the way that fandom allows me to connect with folks over something as silly as our little blorbos, and from there end up making life-long friends, or at the very least new acquaintances. insert reinforcement of my thesis statement about stories fostering human connection here. the end. send post.

[remyfire]

I don't know if I'll keep this post up because this is not what any of y'all are here for, but I have to get it out somewhere. This is just a lot of gritted-teeth venting, so if that's not your style, scroll on, I love you, I hope you see a cat photo soon.

Truly every day of my life I find myself gritting my teeth when I see another joke or article or post or anything at all about booktok romance novels, that specific style of book cover, the disdain about promotional graphics like trope maps, that whole kerfluffle because I just! Wanna be like. Hey guess what! None of us wanted things to go that way either!

Like it really is remarkable sometimes to remember how readers don't necessarily get to see us smaller romance authors gritting our teeth and bitching in our spaces because we hate the trends that are being pushed forward, but also we have to compete somehow, right? We have to be sell books. We have to find a way to be picked up and read in this oversaturated sea. We have to try and gain traction against those people who hire 50 ghostwriters at a time for pathetic rates to churn out romance novels so they can release one literally every month. We have to fight against the 99-cent expectations even though we're lucky to make 35 cents per book sold if we offer it at that rate.

I think one of the most insulting things that publishers did was decide that it was the author's responsibility to go viral on booktok. That way, the publishers got to save a hell of a lot of money on marketing budgets, right? No, we won't be arranging tours unless you're lucky, we won't be pushing your book as hard as we usually should. It is your job to have a social media following that is broad enough that you make your books go viral, not us giving it a boost as your publisher. If you don't go viral on booktok, we will probably not be signing you for another book, sorry, bud.

Cannot express to you either how many of us erotic romance authors especially were gritting our teeth when the cover trend started leaning toward basic primary colors and splotchy abstract shapes. I completely understand that not everybody wants a shirtless man with a 12-pack just slapped on the front cover of the book they're reading—I actually thought it was brilliant when I saw several self-pub authors offering both the traditional steamier cover but also an option of paperbacks with a more tame, understated cover that just makes it look more like a literary novel. But god, it felt so lazy, these aforementioned abstractly illustrated covers. They told me nothing about the book. There was barely a sense of themes or important objects and these shapes had no defining characteristics that set any of the characters apart and they just looked like YA novels, which is fine for YA novels, but how do you market your extremely high-heat romance novel in that cover trend? If you throw together those blotchy illustrated shapes, people are going to think it's sweet or closed-door, and then they get in there and there's 12 graphic sex scenes on the page, and they're furious about it. I loved seeing illustrated covers that were more detailed start to make a move forward, especially because it meant starting to separate the American cultural assumption that illustrated = childish. Letting them be sexy, letting the author be able to represent any kind of protagonist they wanted without being restricted to the tiny selection of mostly skinny white able-bodied cis models on stock photo sites? Incredible. Love that. Want more of it. Wish it was easier to get publishers to really buy in on that.

The fact that readers will complain about promotional things like trope maps when the publishers require the use of them. The publisher makes them, they hand them over, and now you are the one who will be using it because that is contractual and because even if it wasn't, you want your goddamn book in front of people's eyes. And if you are self-pub or indie, if you don't have a substantial marketing budget to spent thousands of dollars on ads, promotions, and whatever the hell else, you are all but required to follow the trend because that's the only way you're gonna get people to share your shit.

And god, the way that it's all reduced to just 'booktok romance novel.' I get what that's referring to, that exact grouping of authors and why they're frustrating, but holy shit, I wanna know how many of those readers have picked up a self-pub or indie romance by a marginalized author. I'll see people complain about the quality of romance novels as compared to the quality of romantic fanfiction and I wanna shake them by the shoulders and say, "It's there! It's out there! It's self-pub and indie romance authors out here doing the goddamn work and you! Aren't! Looking! For it! Because it's easier to mock the genre instead!" Especially self-pub/indie queer romance authors who are marginalized, they are out here revolutionizing the genre and not getting anywhere near the accolades they deserve.

It's just irritating and exhausting. It's frustrating enough to have your genre used as the constant butt of jokes, treated like it's a substandard genre, like all it is is trash, using 'bodice ripper' as a disparaging term for modern romance novels when that is a relic of a very distant past and a historical pinpoint about which we can have an in-depth discussion about the decades-long process of making it socially acceptable for a woman to talk about her sexual desires rather than the 'bodice ripper' days when a woman had to have them forced on her instead before she could ever dream of admitting that she might know her own body and its cravings.

It's frankly embarrassing to see my genre so poorly understood. That's all. The one genre that is devoted to making sure that every marginalized person can have a happy ending of their choosing—marriage, pregnancy, queerplatonic, no sex necessary, no marriage or kids necessary, whatever feels right—rather than just the skinny white able-bodied cis people, that's the one that is always getting the potshots taken at it, and it's really a goddamn shame.