#like I WISH any of the friends I have IRL were interested in men because there are several of them I would date and YET

[bucksboobs]

I do think at some point in the not too distant future, the 911 fandom, at least on Tumblr, is going to have to reckon with the fact that despite M!slash being the main driving force of the fandom, gay men like myself are in the vast minority (I think a recent poll put us at something like 6% but it didn’t separate bisexuals by gender so it’s hard to say how many mlm are actually in the fandom) and in the same way being a gay man doesn’t exempt him from being incidentally or purposefully misogynistic, being some other flavor of the rainbow doesn’t prevent someone from perpetuating homophobia against men who love men.

At some point the jokes about how Tommy is just here for dick or should just get dick and move on (when he’s already made it very clear that he wants a relationship with Buck) are going to start to sound like hypersexual stereotypes of gay men. At some point the constant push to get them to break up as soon as possible and for Tommy to die or get shipped off to Arizona or wherever is going to seem less like regular ship hate and more like wanting a gay male character to be punished for daring to seek a relationship with a man in the first place. We obviously aren’t there yet but I do think we should be aware that it is fast approaching.

[moii3]

My Candy Love New Gen Episode 8- Little Review&Commentary

!Spoilers Ahead!

I'm not that excited while writing this review today because I honestly feel like a lot of people clocked beemov's ass really fast in regards to how innapropriate this whole story was and i respect the good points ppl made. I don't know how much i can add to this discussion then you guys.

No matter how much some members of the fandom might imply we are being dramatic or harsh in our opinions, i don't agree with them at all. And i want a little round of applause to y'all for not letting this slide.

Devon and Thomas are the two characters that change the story's direction in the way of Ysaline choosing to go with them (everyone but Amanda basically) to try to spy on Roy.

I honestly didn't have any opinion about Devon prior to this but being on Thomas's route currently, this whole thing pissed me off. I really think Thomas has a pretty privilege or something because imagine if there was a guy in your office (well, two guys) that suggested you go spy on your naked coworker and they weren't conventionally attractive 😭 Wouldn't you be more creeped off? Just goes to show attractive people be getting away with everything.

Thomas being possibly/probably being neurodivergent has been discussed here before but like, the comments he made and the way he acted was not it. Grown adults acting like spies.

Devon being their boss and still doing that shit to his supposed "friend" was also an hr nightmare.

Amanda won my heart in this episode by having some sense to refuse to go. Everyone acting like she is so stuck up was the only realistic part of this episode tbh. Feeling like you are the only sane person in a work setting is real.

Also beemov making Amanda openly imply this whole idea is off putting and innapropriate makes this whole thing worse. Like you knew what you were doing& how it might have been recieved by writing this.

I played the whole thing towards Thomas's illu to see what happens&how bad the episode went. As i predicted, we didn't see him naked (of course...) and i was relieved this shit didn't get more out of pocket.

Also when it comes to the special scene&illustration, i agree with people saying our romance is moving a little too fast. Like i'm not shaming anyone who says they love quick-paced heated romance stories or games. Nor do i shame people who say they would move fast like this with their date/crush irl. Honestly everyone can do whatever they want as long as they are safe. You do you.

But like is it that crazy not to expect Ysaline being naked in front of the guy she have known for only a few weeks, without not even properly kissing him? (the one on ep 7 doesn't count, come on.)

MCL games usually have more classic slowburn romance elements and i didn't expect this.

I wish i played Amanda's route before but seeing im on this journey with Thomas, i think he has an issue with personal boundaries and this is gonna be pretty interesting..

welp

i think we should start chasing cishet men around with baseball bats.

Elenda and Brune agreeing to go with these freaks..

Stand up queens..

I usually put more illustrations&more commentary to these but i don't feel like this one is going to be long.

There is a month left for the next one so, until next time

xoxo

[moonlightsapphic]

Y'all, I find the reception of XO, Kitty so dissapointing.

TL; DR: The underlying homophobia/biphobia/lesbophobia/misoginy towards Yuri as potential and viable endgame which I don't think would have happened if she were yet another hot guy.

The straight-baiting marketing of this show was absolutely genius and I loved that Jenny Han, who writes the straightest central romances to ever romance (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, The Summer I Turned Pretty), actually initiated a series with such visibly queer storylines and then literally jumped into this sort-of-interracial, sapphic romance centered around a bi+ character. I could see Han trying to be more inclusive in her past on-screen works, but this was incredible.

No you don't understand. There was this point midway through the show where I thought I was in a fever dream and watching wishful fanmade content because I couldn't believe an IRL Netflix show could actually give us this. My mind was blown.

So you'll understand that I was fully bamboozled to see that social media is swamped with Min-ho fangirls pretending like Yuri doesn't even exist. I love Min-ho too, but am I the only one who also saw so many signs that point to a future Yuri x Kitty?

First, for the narrative satisfaction of their moms being best friends in the past!

... and to complete Kitty's coming of age! Kitty, growing up in the cisheteronormative Song-Covey household, made the oversight of initially operating under the assumption that she exclusively likes boys and that she has mastered the art of relationships. That's already been debunked partway by her breakup with her first boyfriend who was supposed to be endgame, and is only going to be sealed further if she ends up with a girl in a long-term relationship. (And no, of course she doesn't have to "end up" with a girl for her queer identity to be valid, but I think it just makes the most narrative sense to have that unfold in the story as her worldview alters.)

Here I present to you: my pet peeves in the XO, Kitty fandom

hyping up parallels between Peter x LJ and Minho x Kitty scenes claiming that this means Minho x Kitty may be endgame. They literally have to reach and dig for those because the most parallels are between Peter x LJ and Yuri x Kitty, right from the scene that they bumped into each other! Kitty has also shown zero romantic interest in Minho so far, as opposed to her very keen interest in Yuri.

People finally addressing the elephant in the room like "Ugh, Yuri is probably going to be endgame. 🙄 I want Minho instead!!" like it's such a disappointing or borderline gross outcome. Yuri is a much more intense enemies-to-lovers character than Minho. She is beautiful, kind, and fun with a little bit of bite, everything that Minho is plus Kitty is falling for her hard.

Being real here—If you think Yuri is a boring love interest or kind of a b*tch while Minho is simply a fun old enemies-to-lovers character, I am begging you to check your biases. You, a straight woman, may only see hostile fictional women as competitiion and hostile fictional men as ... well, kinda hot. However, Kitty is bi+ and she could see them both as viable romantic interests, equally. Yes, Yuri has done more malicious things than Minho, but then again she has had a harder time this academic year than Minho. You are obviously still allowed to like Minho better, as long as you're not dismissing the struggles of and flattening a strong female character. Misoginy and homophobia make an ugly combo, y'all. Trust me, you don't want any part in that.

(Additional unpopular opinion: I'm going to get crucified for this but I genuinely think Kitty is too boring for Minho in the same way that Dae was too boring for Kitty. He seems to be into her only from the Halo Effect. Minho is my child and I squeal whenever he's on screen and I hope to see him finding someone actually fun!)

Saying that Kitty’s crush on Yuri was just a token plot point with no real basis or depth. While there is some unrealistic family drama in the show, it's all still credible. Fiction is supposed to bring in imaginative elements and try to keep things grounded. Regardless, I'm never going to be the person who says that a wild and shocking bi- or gay-awakening is unrealistic. As a queer person, let me tell you that it is just as wild and confusinh for us IRL.

Besides, many cishet people actually do not care if (or is hateful when) the MC is bi, that I doubt how much it “helps” with marketing. (That's why queerbaiting exists, folks.) Also, have you seen Kitty in TATBILB? That's a bi preteen right there if I've ever seen one.

"Stop trying to invalidate other people's ships!" I will say this once: I don't care if you ship Kitty with Min-ho, or Dae, or anyone else that's not Yuri. I DON'T CARE! Frankly, good for you because straight ships have better luck out there anyway, ya know? I am simply begging you to not reduce a queer person's nuanced concerns about dismissal of sapphic fictional characters to petty fandom arguments. Read the room, guys. Please.

This is such a crucial show to many of us. I just want y'all to understand that this is just a little bigger than your celebrity crush on a hot guy whose character you're rooting for. We never, ever get contemporary slice-of-life romcom sapphic rep (and Netflix is notorious for cancelling sapphic shows, too). Please don't be dismissive of a perfectly good possible ending! We want to give Netflix every reason to renew this show, and give Han every reason to allow Kitty to flourish just the way she plans to! (This is me begging y'all to not influence the writers into swerving last-minute towards a sloppy Minho endgame, though I do trust her better than that.)

I hope that Netflix renews the show, even if it's through the excitement of straight people in denial LMAO. And then I hope it treats us with a glorious sapphic ending.*

*(Aaaand I can already imagine the cishet women in the audience complaining online about what a terrible person Kitty is for leading Min-ho on and then dumping him, and how she and Yuri are both awful and totally deserve each other. Music to my ears.)

[eclipsecrowned]

30 for truthful tuesday. [looking at you autistically, microphone in hand] // @umbralined

Pupper wishes to get Kadi in trouble. Kadi will gladly get in trouble over this one.

There is a specific breed of mun, often belonging to a certain demographic but it happens regardless of income education race or gender, who think their muse is God's gift to the community. Whether you find them here on tumblr, in the badlands of forums, or among your discord experiences, it is inevitable that you will meet someone who just cannot handle what their muse actually is.

In their own head, usually because they are hella projecting onto the muse, this muse is the best thing since sliced bread. They are a near perfect copy of the mun -- let's use our former friend [REDACTED] as an example.

All her muses were able-bodied middle class east coast American women who came from military families and were proudly straight Americans whose brand of liberalism was just conservatism lite. And because that muse is so much like her -- and pick any of them, Beth, Elaine, Charlotte, even in fantasy she'd just adapt Veerle or Adamaris to be the super special white gurl foreigner -- this muse is perfect.

This muse does no wrong. Everything this muse does is cool, funny, badass. Everything this muse does is right, even in instances where the audience tries to call out obvious racism, homophobia, classism, unchecked mental illness. This is not a critique of the character's behavior/the biased writing, but of the creator herself, because the muse is a funhouse mirror of their player. Fuck you. She's going to write what she wants to write.

Except it stops being about just their muse. Suddenly, it's about you as a collaborator having a muse. Here's the role your muse has been pigeonholed into. Here's the script. Here's how in awe or cruel they are to her blessed muse. Here's what your muse is allowed to be -- remember when she'd veto my muses having disabilities or poc love interests as if that was her call?

It's no longer collaborative. It's the Beth/Elaine/Charlotte/Veerle/Elysande show, and we're just living in it. Our muses are there to talk about how cool she is, how women want to be her, how men want to make babies with her. And if you play a villain, the men obsess over her and the women want to torture her. No one can be objective about the character. Who could be objective about God's most perfect creation?

And it gets worse. The creator, totally unchecked and unable to be held in check moving forward without having an actual IRL mental breakdown, is further assured of her own skill. Her muse is perfect. The war crimes ensue, sometimes metaphorical and in [REDACTED]'s case actually for real in universe. The apologia of 'well if my muse did something bad they did it to someone worse,' except they as grown adults are unable to admit their character is capable of doing any wrong. If you are among other partners doing a plot, they refuse to be on the sidelines of it.

The relationship as collaborators and as friends becomes unsustainable because you are dealing with someone who refuses to be reasoned with, and will forever be the villain when they retell the story because you wanted a shared platform, not to be an accessory to a muse you can no longer stand.

I've been on this site since 2012 and I have seen many such muns high on their own muse's farts. Literally if you give me the most special and important heroic muse without an iota of nuance, whether Canon or OC, I'm checking out. I've seen canon serial killers be idealized as 'good people' due to possessing either the lifestyle their writer has or desires, and canon abusers be excused as 'well I mean, his wife is annoying.' I have seen OCs, many times, hold entire servers and communities hostage to their whims, whether as moderators or as simple members of a group. I can name 6 separate incidents across 12 years, and it always goes nuclear, scorched earth, kills communities and friend groups and servers. I refuse to play.

And again, fiction =/= reality, but the way people handle certain themes or concepts can say a lot about how they'll be as a collaborator --

[alwaysunabasheddelusion]

@ospreyenjoyer no worries on the tags. I get it. You're definitely not the only person to notice! It's been a conversation for at least the two decades I've spent in online fandom, and I've seen meta about it from before then, too... although I will say when I first joined fandom m/m was a niche thing and m/f was more common (and outside of a few fandoms f/f was non-existent**) and both m/f and m/m spaces were annoying. m/f spaces because they would act like having gay characters was a huge crime and m/m spaces because they'd straight up talk about wanting violence to happen to the female characters (whom I LIKED) and....also sometimes included commentary like "don't forget that homosexuality is wrong irl"

Sometimes I think the hatred of OCs is related to misogyny, since people tend to assume that OCs are going to be self-insert "Mary Sues" for OCxcanon ships. And that's not true. I LOVE OCs, because I love fic that explores other time periods or locations within a canon setting, which is such a different thing.

of course, I also don't see why it matters if some women want to write OCxcanon wish fulfillment. IDK how fanfic culture can claim that fanfic is for "women and other marginalized people to write themselves into the narrative" and then be so hostile to women who do exactly that...

Of course, it's not a surprise that fandom imitates larger culture but it still makes me sad. I like plenty of male characters, but that doesn't have to come at the expense of the cool women. ;-; Sometimes women who are perfectly interesting, complex characters still get dismissed as "there just aren't any interesting female characters, authors/tv shows only write cool men" (even better when they turn a male character with no lines into a fully realized character. I'm all about turning background characters into fully realized characters, but it's not subtle! We can tell who gets this treatment and who doesn't.)

LOL sorry this is my favorite topic to rant on :') I will never change fandom culture but they will also never stop me from ranting about it. And it's doubly important to me since I have daughters in the preteen/teen age range who are into fandoms now (although fortunately they gravitate toward fandoms that have large casts of female characters and seem to have found friends who value this, too. I don't want them to learn self-hatred from the world at all, but especially not from communities that are dominated by other women.)

**I was into Sailor Moon, which for obvious reasons was one of the few f/f friendly fandoms

[reaperkaneki]

ok here are my Thoughts on gin noto

under cut bc it got long lol

first off, he is very strong representation. as in, i think this might be the platonic ideal of a transmasc character. which has its good points and bad.

sweet-p’s arc was rooted in some obviously transphobic jokes/points/etc but at its core, her arc felt well-intentioned and overall she was definitely portrayed as one of the most sympathetic of the musicians (who are antagonists but certainly not outright villains, which the musician route makes abundantly clear). she also is not, like, described as trans per se, mostly as a crossdresser who loves cute things and wishes she were a cute girl (so like, she’s trans) and honestly her arc is about self-image and body dysmorphia in general (weight and age and outside perception are all major factors). and that’s what sets her apart from gin, gin is very much about Gender Dysphoria And Conforming To Societal Gender Roles first and foremost.

unlike sweet-p’s writing, gin’s doesn’t have any overt flaws to point to, which is why i had to mull it over for a while to figure out what was missing, and i think it’s because it is very much aimed at a cis audience. the narrative itself is perfectly fine, it’s the meta-narrative that bothers me.

when gin confesses that irl, he was assigned female at birth and presents as female in his day-to-day life, and asks the player, does this change anything, there is a right answer and a wrong answer. the wrong answer is to tell him that you don’t care what gender he is, it doesn’t change anything at all; gin perceives this as a half-assed, dismissive response said without thinking and becomes upset and it locks you out of the rest of his character episodes. the correct answer is to tell him that you don’t know, you’re not sure. maybe it does change things between the two of you. gin feels that this is a understandable position to take, like, of course it might be a big deal, it certainly feels like a big deal to him!

and yes, to someone who hasn’t encountered a trans person before, that’s probably a reasonable response. to me, specifically, a fellow transmasc person, i think i sorta laughed at this part because, like, the only thing that would change if a coworker or friend or whatever told me that they were actually stealth trans this whole time (and that’s being generous bc gin is Not Slick lmfao the foreshadowing for him being trans is super obvious to anyone who knows) i’d be like cool! love that for you. etc etc. bc transgenderism is Normal to me.

but the game assumes You Are A Cis Person Who Isn’t Sure How To React To Trans People. the game doesn’t let you be trans. there’s not a nonbinary option, despite having a cyborg for an antagonist and, more egregiously, a canonically nonbinary character in your party. (i’d say pronouns, but that’s not quite the same in japanese.) not that i was expecting that to be possible, but it is a clear separation of gameplay and story that hinders roleplay (in an rpg where your character’s backstory is almost completely undefined)!

this is not to say that gin is poorly written. like i said, he’s like the platonic ideal of representation. he’s easy to clock specifically because his experiences ring true; he’s always, always, always overcompensating and posturing “as a man”, he’s trying to conform to his own personal image of “what men do”, “how guy friendships work”, “what guys are interested in”. when asked why he gets along with women so well, he lies and says it’s because he has an, uh, older sister! so he’s spent a lot of time around women! he dresses trendy, but not too fashionably (because that’s feminine, he’s function over form allegedly), and the cut of his clothes is soooo. well. the silhouette is masculinizing, or at least androgynous, let’s say. he even wishes he were taller.

i’m pretty sure i’ve done most of those things. this is writing that either speaks from experience or understands the prompt and has done the goddamn research.

it is, however, very, VERY cool that he actually turns out to Not Be A Man, at least in the sense he’s always wanted to be. REALLY good nonbinary arc that i wish wasn’t constrained to, like, the last two character episodes. it’s the one interesting ‘twist’, and i love that it explains a lot of things about him! when he talks about working as a woman irl and busting his ass in heels, he sounds proud, even as he admits that presenting female always made him uncomfortable. and lo and behold, his catharsis effect sports a pair of gold heels! if he was just a hypermasculine trans man, that would be super uncomfortable, as if it were some sort of transphobic indicator of his ‘true self’ being feminine. but no, it’s because he’s hiding that aspect of himself. he repressed his masculine tendencies to conform to social norms, and then inadvertently did the same to his feminine side, but both are important. he likes the heels.

i also like that he’s bi and acknowledges that his relationships never worked out bc he hadn’t figured out his shit yet. it do be like that sometimes.

unfortunately, i think he’s also kind of boring? like, besides her wanting to be a cute girl, sweet-p had other stuff going on, she had that boke/tsukkomi routine with stork, she had a genuine love for yume-kawaii (whereas while gin has many interests, a not-insignificant part of those interests is male posturing), she was even a musician! i understand that gin’s blandness is On Purpose because he dislikes rocking the boat (but he hates posers, which was a genuinely interesting reaction from him that didn’t feature as strongly in his arc as i wanted. even kiriko comments on it), but doesn’t change the fact that he ain’t weird enough! can’t even be an only sane man bc he goes along with everyone’s bs lol

anyway gin is cool and well-written as a trans character but missing a bit otherwise. i’d still definitely love to hang out and get beef bowls and boba with him :)

[chicspo]

heyyy how do I get over someone I never dated?? I basically had this friend who I started talking to like three years ago. he would flirt w me occasionally but I wasn't interested at the time. he would ghost me ALOT but we weren't that close at the time so I didn't mind. we started getting closer around a year later. Like a year back, he compared me to this girl we both knew, he would say we were like sisters and stuff and then fast forward a couple months he starts dating her ? for some rsn I got really upset at that so I j figured I liked him but I kept my distance cos I loved his gf and I could clearly tell he was ghosting me too. Anyways I still wished him hbd and he replied to it after they broke up and we started talking again. this is sooo middle school but when I told my friend about all of this she used my phone to text him and flirt and stuff and he was into it at first but then he j vanished. when he hadn't replied after a few days I wanted to clear stuff up so i j messged him "hey sorry for those texts we were j being silly goofy" (cos he knew I was w ppl at that time) anyways he removed me and unfollowed like as soon as i sent that text. its been months and I'm really happy he's out of my life but I j cannot stop thinking abt it and the whole friendship (which he called being acquaintances after I wished him) and I'm so torn because for a while I genuinely considered him a really good friend and we used to talk non stop so I don't understand. I truly hate that he messed w my brain soo much but I over think every single interaction we ever had now. (sorry this is sooooo long I j don't feel like I know anyone else I can ask)

i understand especially since it was so messy and u didn't really get any proper closure. the best u can do is just continue to remind urself of how lucky u are to have him out of ur life. if u dont see him irl or on social media at all it will be infinitely easier to move on. just dont think about him or about the situation at all. what u can do is write down a short list of things hes done or how he is that will make u cringe at it when u read it back. to remind u of how much of a useless bother he was in ur life if u ever start thinking about him again. and if u can just start talking to other men!! but ONLY if theyre worth ur time dont just talk to anyone as a distraction if it will make u feel worse. but if the chance comes take it. it will only reinforce the fact that he really wasnt any special. u didnt even like him at first. i think u only liked the fact that he liked u and then u missed that when he got a gf. u cant get ur validation or confidence from an outside source. u have to know it within urself how good u are. fill ur life with hobbies and activities. life is so much more than speaking to some random boy. i promise u in no time u will totally be over this

[gyaruogutz]

👀 i'd be curious... (about your last post)

You’re in luck , I love talking about myself when asked ~

Information is under the cut , mostly for my personal preference ! CW for , well , transharmful things !! I don’t really go into detail until the very end , but still . I’m trigger-tagging this as a vent just in case.

It will probably be a lot lmao !! Be careful what you wish for Anon !!

A lot of my harmful thoughts come from rage . And that sounds very stereotypical , right ? Like “ oh, of course the transharmful person has homocidal thoughts , that’s a given . “ You’re right of course ! But it’s not just homocidal thoughts I get .

I get paraphiliac thoughts and urges as well when I’m in a heightened state of emotion , whether it be a positive OR negative feeling that I’m experiencing . & I’ve gotten homocidal thoughts from excitement or joy before . With heightened emotions these days comes heightened impulse .

I’m very good in retrospect with controlling these impulses , for the saftey of me and those around me . I’ve done nothing that warrants suspicion from those who trust me IRL , and nothing to tip off any mental health professionals , much less anything authorities would be concerned about.

I experience these thoughts near-constantly . I’m either wishing to be violent , aggressive & homocidal , or I’m fantasizing , usually sexually , ( but not always , to be fair ) about one of my paraphilias . When I’m not in these states of mind I’m almost purposefully distracting myself with special interests or hyperfixations . And mind you this is while I’m ON my medications , haha !! Though I doubt I’d be at risk of offending for either side when I’m not , my medication moreso keeps anxious paranoia and depression away .

These thoughts at this consistently don’t just come out of nowhere . To start off with , I’m also cis-traumatized , and had a C-PTSD diagnosis at the chrono age of 14 ( though apparently it’s not a diagnosis anymore ? correct me if I’m wrong ). My specialized therapist and I have determined I have genuine plurality that is either mostly or completely traumagenic , most likely P-DID or DID . I also have reason to be weary of having suffered R4MC04 ( censoring in case of antis jumping my post ) abuse as a child , due to knowledge of some of my alters I have experience with , and how I react subconsciously to certain things .

However , I have also most likely gained these thoughts from doing harmful things in my adolescence , usually impulsively and on purpose.

Disclaimer , chrono-minors ; I cannot and will not recommend you do ANY of these things listed . I’m not your parent and I can’t stop you , I understand that , but I feel obligated to put this warning here . Additionally I’m not providing details on how I did these things myself , and I will not do so if asked .

For one , as a young teen I would purposefully seek out sexual contact with much older men for my own sexual and emotional amusement . This is where I developed a lot of my sexual tastes from , honestly . I never felt bad for doing these things , only shame for getting caught by then-friends who were appalled.

I would also frequently ( with their consent ) use friends in my group for that same gratification . I lost my virginity to a friend I met in my first year of public middle school , years later in our friendship , for example .

I was also ( and still am , honestly ), a stalker of those who gave me enough attention to be interested , whether online or in person . I was also obsessive , checking messages and getting intense emotions when I saw my various objects of affection over the years do something I didn’t approve of .

There were also some things in younger childhood ,

— I ( unintentionally ) scared the absolute shit out of most boys in the two grades below be because I was notorious for harassing them for my amusement as a kid . ( my autistic ass simply thought that’s how people played at the time , but I thought it was also REALLY funny )

— for some odd reason , in my small impoverished Catholic elementary school , my year consistently had the most traumatized kids out of all of them . I was faced with sexual assault stories , parental death stories , physical abuse stories and more by my close friends all before I was ten, and besides the parental death ( which was a singular case ), all of that was normalized and unfortunately almost romanticized by the girls in my grade .

I specifically remember a friend of mine getting assaulted by a college boy when we were in third grade , and recall three girls asking her excitedly about the experience . ( STATING THIS IS NOT TO ROMANTICIZE IT, this is a genuine example of how serious violence was romanticized in my childhood. )

— I can name at least one teacher I know in middle school that clearly had eyes for me sexually . Nothing ever happened with him in my active memory , but I knew , and I think he knew I knew , and I definitely used it to my advantage . There was also one in high school , who , again nothing in my active memory happened with him , but I definitely knew and again used it to play him like a fiddle .

Until I was TOLD that these things were wrong , I wasn’t aware . I saw it as normal , fun , and exciting .

So those are most of my thoughts on the subject . Not sure if I’m cis-harmful or trans-harmful really .

[starified-lizzy]

So much for taking time off the Internet (which I think all of us desperately need to do to some degree, whether or not you care/know about the issue or not)

Anyways, here’s a list of fictional men I still look up to who I demand can do no wrong:

Starting off strong with ATLA characters-

Aang. He is baby boy and is very kind and gentle and I strive to be as kind and gentle as him, not only to others, but to myself.

Sokka. He’s very inventive, and I strive to have that same level of problem-solving and creativity, along with that level headedness he gains as the show progresses.

Zuko. He’s definitely had his moments, but I look up to him because he turned himself around and was able to stand up to the people who have hurt him the most and I LOVE that for him. I wish to be able to do that one day as well.

Now: literally only two people from my FNF au, which are Blue and Navy. Both of them, because they are babygirl and just genuinely sweet and kind and I love them.

Last: my own characters. Is this just an excuse to talk about my children? At this point- yeah

Saline: fuck you and your mother, I’m not getting rid of them. He may be based off of that asshole, but she is my child and I love them (they’re technically categorized under the “men I look up to” because he is AMAB and doesn’t care how one perceives her, hence the use of all pronouns. Besides, they are more of a man in terms of respect than most IRL cis men are in my life.)

Liam: literally the only person who is able to wrangle a literal world-ending demon and his leech, while also being such a kind and gentle man in the process. We love Liam in this household.

Sadly most of my characters are either women- or men who have little to no redeemable qualities.

Now we go onto the topic of: fictional men who are essentially assholes, but I love them because they’re not real.

First up, Pico and Darnell, and I’m talking canon, not au. Au would mostly be the same, but Darnell is a lot more chill, and Pico becomes more babygirl as he grows as a person, so I’m talking mostly about canon.

They’re assholes, but I love em for it. I think the only reason why I love them and their character so much is because I first found out about them through FNF. I am willing to bet that if I had been introduced to them in Pico’s School, I would have vastly different opinions on both of them. I think my immediate selling point for adoring them was when I came up with the idea that Nene, Darnell, and Pico were like a found family type group instead of just batshit-insane school-friends. I adore found family tropes and they fit that bill, so.

Next is Spirit, C, and Soul, and now I’m talking about them from my au.

Now you may be wondering “how is Soul considered and asshole???” And I’ll tell you, my dear reader (how tf did you get this far) in due time if you’d be so kind and follow my blog dedicated for the au.

Anyways, Spirit’s an asshole because he just is. When he was alive, he was highly narcissistic and self-centered, only doing things for others if it benefited him in the end. When he meets Blue and all that resulting shit happens, he calms the fuck down and actually becomes a decent person, but his past self was not pretty.

C doesn’t get that luxury of becoming a better person. He’s just an asshole. However it’s not his fault, he was made like that. He can’t help but do things that can be perceived as “assholish”, but he does try to be kind… as kind as he can be considering he can’t really feel any emotions.

Soul… is very interesting. He… ends up doing questionable things… despite being viewed as a kind and trustworthy person, and like- he has a really bad moment of being a dick, but like- he gets better???? Idk. He’s a goofball, so he immediately gets pardoned from my torment (mostly).

Next we return to my characters.

First is Limbo, my demon cat boy. Heeeeeee is also based off another person, but nobody that has had any issues to my knowledge. He has almost caused the end of the world, almost killed his friends multiple times, and is just generally an ass person. The singular person who can keep him from doing “hot gay man-demon shit” is Liam.

Tenebris Oritur, the giant serpent fuck I haven’t drawn in ages. While They are not human, nor a man, I’m still throwing Them into this category because of the fact They’re stuck with Limbo’s dumb bitchass. Hi, yes, hello, spoilers for my old ass fic I am now never going to finish lmfao (;-;) Oritur is the thing that almost destroyed the world because They’re too bitchy to let shit go.

And that’s it. If you guys potentially have any suggestions for this list, please leave both the character’s name, the section they it under, and why- either in tags, or in the replies. Thank you for listening this far into my TED talk.

[cutepervert]

ty to @tigertofu for the tag <3 dont have many friends on here yet but i'll tag the people that i can think of off the top of my head, @rreskk @chloe12801 @heisentwerk

Were you named after anyone?

not as far as I can tell. my mom likes to say im named after julius caesar but i think shes lying

Do you have kids?

no and have noooo interest it is simply not for me i think

Use sarcasm a lot?

yes, less so on the internet but irl i do a LOT

First thing you notice 'bout people?

it's hard to pick out one thing because i often interpret the totality of a person (like their vibe ig?) before i focus on any details. this is not to say that i dont focus on details i absolutely do but that's often long after i've determined the person has an interesting vibe based off their outfit/the way they carry themselves/etc

Eye color?

hazel. i think? like a light brown with greenish bits in the central heterochromia zone

Scary movies or happy ending?

hard to say tbh! I like a neat ending (not necessarily a happy one) and both scary movies and 'happy ending' movies tend to have neat endings (or at least neat enough to set-up for a sequel LOL). I like both, it all kinda depends on my mood

Special talent?

oh i struggle so hard with this question... like, i have several things i am moderately good at (writing, drawing, et cetera) but ive never been especially skilled or talented at a single thing like other people are. jack of all trades master of none that's the kinda bitch i am. also sidenote but i think talent isn't real. if it is real it describes nothing but someones desire to practice a given thing which then makes them good at it. nobodys born good at shit. prodigies are fake and they are all lying to u!!!!

Your hobbies?

lol. hobbies... what are those! no frfr i play video games write fanfic and once in a while when i have the energy to set up a workspace i like doing very hands-on sculptural art like papier mache and clay sculpture.

Any pets?

no i wish :( want a cat so bad but our aint shit landlord (who tbf is usually really fine and normal and chill so i guess there had to be ONE THING at least that sucked abt him) said no

Playing any sport?

LOL. no. fuck sports..... except i like watching basketball because those men are freaks of nature in the best way and i like to imagine in ancient times we'd have them do feats of strength like climbing up a very steep mountain face. i just love those lengthy boys. kevin durant especially is such an extruded guy every time he falls during a game (which as it turns out is way more often than i thought) im like okay this time his legs have to have snapped in half. and they dont! probably because he drinks his milk or w/e. takes him vitamines. wild shit. anyway yeah i dont do sports

How tall..?

5'7 last time i checked.... imo the perfect height. not too short not too tall but also not too medium. on the tall side of medium sized. love being this height.

Favourite subject in school?

hard to say bc it depended so much on the teacher but i loved most of my english classes and a good amount of my history classes. history is sooo girlypop to me like we're truly just sharing 100+ year old gossip like it's not nosy as fuuuuuck

Dream job:

i do not dream of labor but i think the ideal job for me is one that doesn't feel like it's sucking 100% of my soul out my mouth (will settle for like 30 to 50% soul sucking) and hopefully serves to help other people through creative expression (because i dont know how to do anything else LMAO). i basically have that job rn but it's still Hard and Annoying so i suppose nothing will ever b perfect

[b4n3n4]

I've vented a bit on a public server, I shouldn't have done that, but ill vent here, this is not in any shape, or form praise to my awful ex crushes, I hope those 3 actually get tortured for Infinity in hell, especially you, you know who you are, and I know you still stalk this page.

Sometimes i miss when i was at my "lowest" objectively I guess, mentally I felt happier somehow, kind of go lucky feeling, if nothing matters nothing can hurt you, I've never talked about the boys I've liked before on this page, they were 3.

I can say my first crush was probably who made me this way, he was cold with everyone, rude, misogynistic and violent, that was the first boy I've ever liked at 12, he was different, never met anyone like him before, other seemed like cowards, unable to be authentically themselves, he introduced me to gore when I was 12, way before I even knew porn was a thing, I started to cut myself around that age, he would always ask me to see, to touch the cuts, I felt like he understood me, what I wanted to say or do he said and did, when I didn't like someone I would keep it to myself, but he would be as ruthless as he wanted, pure neutrality, I fell in love quickly, would spend whole classes looking at him, how smart he was, how charismatic, well now I can see he was just a sociopath literally but at the time he was like God to me, ill never forget his smirks when I would show him my cuts or the big smile I gave him when he fell down while playing fight with a friend and made a huge scratch in his whole stomach, showing me it proudly.

i spent a year madly in love with him and lost about 14 kgs although I couldn't diet at home, I would just start to purge my food at home and fast during school, one day I discovered that although we never dated he was using me as rebound, and somehow the love broke off that day, I had nightmares with him for about 5 years after

2 years later i met my irl ex, quiet kid in class that one day said some stupid misogynistic joke and I laughed and we bonded, showed me theync, would say I was disgusting for not being as good as him in class, basically an incel when I met him but that was the part I liked, once he started to become softer with me I lost interest quickly but we stayed together as I was waiting for him to change to his before self, we broke up because he would go through my messages, make me give my phone every time we were together etc, I hate insecure men, we were together for 4 years and during all those years I would have nightmares with the first boy.

WORST ONE SO FAR, so, as im a fucking loser and don't have friends I was searching for servers on 4chan and found one lmao, owner dms me saying he wants to kill me and he's the only dude I replied to in months, lies to me, never shows his face, uses me for my body, blackmails me, etc, but somehow because I was lonely and thought I was gonna km I let that slide for a year, also I liked how fucked up he was, then he turns too nonchalant and soft for my liking, teenage girl kinda texts and I ask to break up, we fought ALOT before also, I seriously he khs because every day I find out more lies, like sending fake plushie pic (saying he got them for me) then finding those pics in a 2016 website, ALSO said he sent fake pics the first time but then that they were real the second time (gaslight and lies because they weren't) calling me insane and obsessive for not believing him, erm okay, hope you die

WELL long rant but yes during those 3 boys I relapsed, in self-harm and gore, and also lost weight with every one of them, my boyfriend who is the sweetest kindest soul on earth, and although I thought I would be interested in him at the beginning because of his scary appearance turns out I can love someone who treats me well, but sometimes I wish I was as strong as before, I feel like nowadays everything is too easy on me and I've become too soft, its been like 3 weeks without cutting and I miss it often, I miss feeling so grossed out by everyone I would hide myself in the bathroom watching gore, I miss not caring for tomorrow or what happens to me since I knew I was going to die soon, I miss it, why am I so soft nowadays, I'm supposed to feel happy I am "getting better" but feels like my destructive mindset before actually made me happier

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

Mag 31

Fuck yes First Hunt!! All the girlies love First Hunt! <3

It's great that the episode opens by telling you the entire meaning of the Hunt as an Entity; killing was always besides the point. The chase is the thing. This is what separates the Hunt from the Slaughter (in addition to the Hunt being about intimate violence while the Slaughter is about impersonal mass violence). The Slaughter is all about the kill; the Hunt plays with its food.

So the Hunt is one of the Entities that I just enjoy without over analysing it too much (by my standards anyway; I am a person who will be posting a commentary for all 200 episodes of TMA largely for my own amusement). It's not one of the Entities that really terrifies me or that I really emphasise with, in universe I don't think I'd be in any particular danger of being consumed or claimed by it. I just think it's a vibe. I have fun with the Hunt! Like, hunting prey/being hunted by a predator seems a bit too outdoorsy for me, but I get it and if it's your thing then I love that for you.

I guess I'm saying I think I want to be friends with a Hunt avatar? I think we'd get along great. Maybe I just want a werewolf girlfriend?

Anyway I love this statement, it's one of my favourites.

And a big part of why this is a favourite of mine is the statement-giver Lawrence Mortimer. What a guy! He's just such a jolly, cheerful dude. I love all his weird turns of phrase and the way he's so I genuinely excited and enthusiastic about going on his little adventure. As much as I love Jonny's voicework on this one, I really wish we'd gotten to meet him in person. He's got dorky dad energy for me.

Fuck I've just realised how much he reminds me of my actual dad. Two screenshots in and this is becoming and epsiode of Revelations for me.

Amazing. Imagine travelling alone to another country to meet an absolute stranger who you've only ever spoken to via message board, but who is openly a gun nut that wants to take you on a remote hike in the wilderness. Men really do be living in a different world, don't they?

Haha fuck yes Lawrence! I love this guy!! He's a funny little man.

Oh god the mortifying ordeal of realising that you've committed to spending a prolonged period of time alone with an extrovert. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Also I have to assume that the part about being laughed at for his accent is written from either personal or anecdotal experience, because I ran this by one of my best friends who immigrated from England to Australia when we were teenagers and he was like 'Yes, everyone did that to me incessantly for years, especially you Reeah, because you're a bad person and a terrible friend.'

(He loves me. I will be a bridesmaid at his wedding next year. His accent is cringe tho. Imagine being British. 😬)

Okay, BIG YIKES here. This is the only thing about this epsiode that I really dislike. As mentioned above I'm Australian. We have strict gun control here and I generally cannot stand anyone who likes guns or thinks of them as cool fun toys. Massive red flag. Especially if you add the entire premise of the episode; hunting and killing animals for sport, another thing that I absolutely loathe irl!

But mostly I don't mind just letting these things go in this instance. Partially because, as I said, it's the premise of the episode and engaging with a story demands a certain amount of good faith. The other reason I have figured out while typing this; it's because Lawrence's general sense of wonder and enthusiasm about guns reminds me of my dad and his most beloved special interest -- WWI era tanks. The Tiger 1 is his favourite and he is overcome with joy and excitement every time he gets a chnace to talk about it. If I can let go over my objections regarding the military for long enough to allow my dad to re-tell the story of the time he got special permission to go inside the Tiger 1 at the the tank museum, I guess I can let this fictional man enjoy his fictional gun holiday.

More big yikes!! Hate this!! Terrible!!

Geuinely the worst thing I can imagine encountering out in the wilderness is just a guy with bad energy singing a creepy little song. I'd take a bear or something any day of the week. At least I know what a bear's deal is.

Very telling that two grown men (both of whom are down for a days long hike through the wild with an internet stranger) immediately pick up on this dude's terrible vibes and seemingly agree instantly and silently to not help him or offer any information about themselves. Girlies having each other backs in the club energy.

Ahhh! I hate this!! He stopped to get their scents!! What would you even do? Like, obviously they are doomed form this point because he's chosen them as targets and won't let them escape, but if it were me I'd still be tempted to risk a night hike to get the fuck out there.

Attention all creepy strangers in the woods: stay the fuck away from me (unless you are a werewolf and interested in being my girlfriend).

I'd completely forgotten this part! So the Hunter hung around their camp all night making sure they couldn't sleep. Do we think this was because he wanted to make sure that they would be tired and afraid for the big chase tomorrow, or is this just like the murderer's version of edging?

[rayofsunas]

pretending you’re not his s/o. [1]

A/n: happy Thursday!! whew, the week is almost over thank goodness. I hope you’re all doing well and thank you for being patient while I knock out these requests <333 Scaramouche’s is long for obvious reasons (I simp) ALSO thank you for 800 followers, I hit that milestone yesterday ahagdwcsh omg I’m growing so much wtf. thank you all :) <33 

Summary: the boys having to pretend their s/o is their secretary, maid, friend, etc. (someone other than their s/o)

Parings: Childe/Reader, Venti/Reader, Kaeya/Reader, Diluc/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Aether/Reader, Xiao/Reader, Chongyun/Reader, Xingqiu/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Razor/Reader, Bennett/Reader, Zhongli (fem and gn mixed)

Warnings: violence tbh (in Scara’s especially chile), swearing, crack, angst?, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Requested by bestie @mintydump​ 

Refuses (tells people you’re his s/o and compromises the mission)

Childe: for some odd reason, he was sent out by the Tsaritsa to retrieve a man who was impersonating one of the eleven harbingers and you were to go along. she said men were much more willing to follow along, if there was a beautiful woman promising affection, etc. the only problem was, to win over the impersonator, you had to pretend to be Childe’s co-worker. he hated this idea, and the minute he left, he reassured you he would not call you his partner unless it was romantically. so hell yeah, he’ll compromise the mission and will return without the impersonator. he does not care, you’re not his co-worker. he’ll just be like, “sorry, next time send me alone.”

Venti: jean why... ofc you'd be great company duh, but why did you need to be his babysitter on this expedition?!? sure, Venti may look like a child, but this was stupid! he’s loose-lipped anyways, so he’ll accidentally let it slip to whoever that you’re not his babysitter and that you’re his s/o. he’ll be like, “oops.” with the biggest shit-eating grin. he doesn’t care though, you’re not his babysitter grrr. 

Razor: he also accidentally lets it slip you’re his s/o. hunters were after him and his friends, you included (you’re human, he considers you family though, therefore wolf) and he just yells, “don’t touch my mate, GRRR” before ya know, ending them lmao. it never crossed his mind that maybe it wasn’t in his/your best interest to say what you were to him. other hunters could be nearby listening and then target you at a later date. but, tbh he will worry about that another day. as long as you’re safe now, he’ll always be there to protect you. 

Refuses (he doesn’t refuse the mission, but he refuses calling you someone other than his s/o/he won’t say if you’re his s/o or not.) 

Kaeya: he definitely won’t be calling you anything other than his s/o but he also won’t offer this mission to anyone else. he’s more than capable and he can do this without you having to be in danger too. if someone asks who you are, he’ll just cooly respond with, “none of your business.” and move on. he’ll use that whenever someone asks who you are. even if someone gets a little pushy, he won’t use anything to clue them of your relationship.

Xingqiu: he was supposed to borrow steal a book from someone. he needed it for personal purposes lol; it would be great for his collection. and from his understanding, the person who has it wasn’t using it. though you were confused on why he needed to break into somewhere to retrieve it. you just happened to be with him when he broke in, he says it was an accident that you were there, but tbh it’s all part of the thrill and his mischievousness. despite Chongyun warning him that he shouldn’t have brought you, he still did. and when the person who owns the book whips out a sword and then asks why you were brought along if you seemed timid and unreluctant to steal, Xingqiu’s response is, “well she’s my girlfriend! duh.” cue deadpan. legit no hesitation.

Scaramouche: this mission is happening no matter what. the Tsaritsa’s life is on the line; highly trained assassins from all over Teyvat were sent into Snezhnayan territory to kill her. she could protect herself, but Scaramouche was feeling feverish for battle; he was one of the more unhinged and dangerous harbingers, she entrusted this task upon him. he never turned down a mission. plus, it’s your fault you’re even here. why are you here again!? he left you home in Inazuma days ago. also... who the hell was looking after your daughter if not you...?? when you caught up with him once he was well away from Liyue Harbor’s docks (so he couldn’t force you to get back onto the ship, smart) you told him you weren’t some housewife and you missed the thrill of adventure, so you snuck on the ship too. he wasn’t sure how you got on in the first place without alerting The Kanjobugyo (you’ve snuck out before, so he’s told them not to let you leave, though he assumed you used your former title of a Fatui to gain clearance) let’s just say he’s not happy you’re here, but he’s not turning back now, he’s determined to end this. in the end, he kills all the assassins (ofc). on your way back to Liyue Harbor, arguing about why you’re here (you’re losing), another assassin comes out of the shadows; intent on killing the both of you. he’d managed to grab the end of your hair in his fist and was going to slit your throat. Scaramouche will say, “don’t touch my wife, you insolent scum.” he doesn’t have a problem telling those who have a death wish of your intimate relationship, because they’ll die in the end anyway; therefore to him, it’d be like they never knew. 

Zhongli: not many people know you’re his s/o anyways, so if he has something to do, especially dangerous you’re not coming along. he’ll make sure of that. on missions or something, he refuses to call you anything other than his s/o, but if he can’t/wants to keep it private he’ll call you by your name. if you’re facing off against someone, he’ll be like, “y/n, please watch out, I’ll handle this.” he never wants to put you in danger, and tbh even someone threatening who knows your name is a risk, but if they ever found out that you were not only his s/o but the s/o of an Archon? yeah, you’d be on a hit list just like him. 

Accepts (he will do this and won’t ask any questions)

Diluc: sorry y’all, but once this is discussed in full and you agree, he’s going to accept it. this mission is important. it’s not often people travel into Inazuma, so he was very lucky his wine is sold there and that he has a popular, well-known name. shipments of his wine weren’t making it into the borders and he was to find the culprit behind it; someone was stealing obviously. you were to go along with a few other soldiers and when jean told him it would be safer to call you his maid and not his fiancé, he agreed. you wouldn’t be a target that way. if anyone wonders why he took his maid, he’ll just say, “she’s to travel everywhere with me.” don’t worry, after the missions over he’ll reassure you he doesn’t think of you as his maid, definitely not. he’ll apologize profusely. “please don’t think of yourself that way, you’re not my maid, I adore you very much, sweetheart.”

Xiao: he already doesn’t go around calling you his wife or telling just anyone, only the Archons know and the fallen Yaksha once knew (you’re one of the female Yaksha) so being talked into this wasn’t a big deal at all. before, he didn’t run around Liyue telling people about your relationship because you both enjoyed the privacy. but now, having to call you his fellow Yaksha who’s been working alongside him for centuries, kinda feels like he’s ignoring or not acknowledging you. sure, you do hold the same titles (Yaksha) and yes you’ve known eachother for centuries, but really, you’ve been together for centuries. if you’re not bothered, then he doesn’t mind. but if you are? he’s very apologetic and will repay you in some way. “you’re not a weakling, you have no reason to worry.” he needs to do this task, he’ll never turn away from the people and if you have to be known as your Yaksha title to him and others, so be it. 

Chongyun: it’s not that he doesn’t want to call you his s/o. it’s just he’s a quiet guy and never has told anyone about your relationship; only Xingqiu knows. so he has no problem introducing you as his friend to absolute strangers, especially if you’re okay with it. if you’re not and tell him, he’ll be sure to never call you a friend again. he’s really looking out for your safety, people can be two-faced as he’s learned from Xingqiu’s fantasy books. he wants to protect and keep you safe, and if you need to be addressed as his friends a few times then that’s how it’s going to go. 

Accepts (he’ll accept but he has so many questions on why and hates it)

Albedo: he will accept if there’s a logical reason. for example, if you absolutely need to come because you’re his assistant or something and can offer your expertise, he will accept. but if you have no need? you’re not coming, please stay home. the whole time, he hates this. yes, you’re his assistant irl, but you’re his s/o, not just an assistant. it makes him sick that he has to call you that tbh, even if it’s your occupation. but it’s necessary for a lot of reasons you two have already discussed. after the mission is complete, he’s never going to stop apologizing. “love, please do not take what I said to heart, you’re not just an assistant.”

Aether: he has to be talked into this a lot. once kaeya and jean tell him the seriousness and importance of seeing his sister again, especially after all they’ve discovered about her, he’ll agree. no matter how much he hates calling you his travel partner, he has to. his sister has turned to the dark side for whatever reason and this meeting already is risky enough. if she finds out you’re his girlfriend, who knows how she’ll react; she’s very unpredictable now, a little unhinged even. but it does hurt to have to call you that, let’s be real. he never wants to say or hear that ever again.

Bennett: he knows he’s quite unfortunate, so you going with him on expeditions is just stupid and you could face something awful due to his bad luck. you go either way though, what a good s/o :) he almost slips a few times, especially facing off against a few lowlife Fatui. but then you remind him of the dangers of doing that and you’re immediately just a friend/member of Benny's Adventure Team. pls, he hates this so much, like why can’t he call you what you are?!? he’s constantly like, “well why can’t I just say you’re my s/o already? they won’t harm you as long as I’m here!” ?!?!?!? HE JUST DID?!?!?!?!

2.25.21, rayofsunas 

[just-a-poor-boy-queen]

Not going on anon for this one, wish me luck!

How the Bohrap movie should have been written:

Insight into Freddie's childhood and the hardships he endured at boarding school. Part of the reason Rocketman was so impactful was because it showed you how Elton was shaped from a young boy to adulthood, and how this added to his struggle with his identity. I know it's harder with Freddie, because we don't have any first hand accounts from him, but there are a few sources with info about what he went through, and even if it was just brief flashbacks scattered throughout, it would be much more impactful than just one scene were Freddie glances at a childhood photo.

Freddie's relationship with Rosemary. I swear, Rosemary gave such good insight into how Freddie struggled as a closeted gay man, and how he would drop hint after hint about his sexuality, only to be ignored or invalidated by the people around him. Show him crying after being intimate with her because he wants to be with a man, and she just doesn't get it. Show him making gay jokes in front of his friends and feeling hurt when he realises they don't get it. Show him running away when Rosemary tries to introduce him to her gay friends because facing the truth is too overwhelming, and nobody gets it.

Instead of presenting him as 100% straight until fame "corrupted" him (no, subtle glances at other men that last a millisecond don't count,) show him as a struggling gay man who is trapped in a heterosexual relationship with Mary, while clearly being interested in the same sex. IRL, Freddie was falling in love with men and looking to break up with Mary as early as 1972 and would ask other people to do it for him because he was too scared to do it himself. He wanted out.

Less downplay on Jer and Bomi's homophobia. They're sitting at the dinner table, watching Freddie try to play the part of Mr Heterosexual and they know none of it's real. Bonus points if Jer uses the line, "are you up to your old tricks again"?

Additional scenes - Freddie beginning to dress androgynously and wear make up, which his parents also disapproved of while he was living at home. (Not trying to demonise Jer and Bomi here, but this was Freddie's reality.)

We see Freddie face racism in the movie, but for some reason they really gloss over the homophobia. There are accounts of gay slurs being thrown at Freddie while onstage, someone criticising him for having feminine hands, his own roadies making homophobic jokes behind his back, etc. Stop pretending these things didn't happen because you don't want to acknowledge that Freddie was gay.

DAVID FUCKING MINNS - Freddie meeting him while dating Mary and falling head over heels. They begin their love affair and Freddie has to battle between his true feelings and what's expected of him. When they break up, Freddie is devastated, because that was his first proper relationship with a man and he was truly in love for the first time.

When Paul catches Freddie composing LOML, he asks "is it for Mary?" and Freddie says, "no, I just felt like writing a sad love song." Paul's all like, "well, it's called "Love of my Life", surely it's for your girlfriend?" and Freddie tells him to drop it. Nothing more is said, but there's enough indication for the audience to know that Freddie loves Mary, but he's not in love with her, and he can't keep pretending he is.

Sidenote: Paul knows this. He knows about David, he knows that Freddie is living a lie, and that it's making him miserable. Instead of making a move on him (fuck you, whoever's appalling decision that was), Paul tells Freddie he can't keep running from himself and encourages him to tell Mary the truth. (Because, you know, Paul was an asshole but he didn't deserved to be turned into the "evil gay" who "turned" Freddie in order to give the movie a villain. At one point, he was a close friend of Freddie and there's no doubt in my mind that he gave Freddie emotional support when he needed it.) Et voila. An impactful scene that still adheres to Hollywood clichés.

Show us the gay men who had a positive impact on Freddie's life. Elton John. Peter Straker. John Reid. Thor and the New York Sisters. There are more, but I'd be here a while.

Freddie actually having fun at gay clubs and blossoming into a happy, confident gay man. Yes, he had bad experiences too, and they should be explored. But would it kill them to show him having a good time in an LGBT space without turning the gay scene into a scary world of degeneracy?

JOE. FUCKING. FANELLI.

A brief look at Freddie's dating life with different men, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because he doesn't have a blueprint as to how healthy relationships should work, he thinks that abuse and jealousy are normal in a relationship and the only way to prove you truly love someone. When he meets Jim, this changes and he realises that he doesn't have to play mind games and be manipulative to be loved. Character development, yo.

An accurate representation of how Freddie and Jim met.

When Mary's had her segment, she fucks off and is only seen sparingly. Freddie is an adult and can survive without holding his ex-girlfriend's hand. The movie is about him, not her.

The Garden Lodge family getting up to shenanigans.

Give the other band members some fucking depth, Christ. Show Roger' and Freddie selling clothes at Kensington Market. Brian and Freddie having a heart to heart about the struggles of fame. John Deacon missing his family during a tour, and Freddie being a shoulder to cry on. Just something.

THE CATS. GIVE US MORE CATS. SHOW GOLIATH GOING AWOL AND EVERYONE IN GL FREAKING OUT. SHOW JIM BUYING FREDDIE A NEW KITTEN AND FREDDIE LOSING HIS SHIT. GIVE US A MONTAGE OF PHOEBE TRYING TO KEEP THE FELINES IN ORDER. GIVE US MORE CATS.

Freddie calling Jim his husband. The rings. The honeymoon in Japan. A montage of them being in a happy, committed relationship while a voice over of Freddie's interview with David Wigg plays over it.

Instead of the movie ending at Live Aid (never understood that decision) and ten minutes of my life with an unneeded re-enactment, end it with the filming of "These are the Days of our Lives." Freddie's been diagnosed, he puts on a brave face, all his loved ones are watching him perform for his final video. He ends with the words, "I still love you" to the audience. Fade to black. An emotional and beautiful ending to the film, not shying away from the illness that claimed Freddie's life, while not explicitly showing his death. (And, you know, it also doesn't imply that he deliberately infected Jim.)

A movie that acknowledges and embraces Freddie's experiences as a gay man living in a homophobic world, instead of demonising/straightwashing/ignoring his sexuality. And before some asshole says, "Freddie's sexuality doesn't matter, that shouldn't be the focus," it DOES fucking matter because his sexuality has been twisted, downplayed, and shamed for decades and it's really getting old. They had the opportunity to defend Freddie from the homophobes who say he brought his death on himself by getting involved in a "sinful" lifestyle, but all they did was reinforce that idea. They could have easily made a movie that focused on Freddie's music while also being respectful of the man he was.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Oof. Wow. I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. And yes, I agree with all of your takes.

Perhaps, it wouldn’t have been possible to account for all the things you mentioned, but including even one of these would have made the film better than it was.

I will forever be pissed at the writers/makers, because the film is such a fucked up piece of cinema that, according to me, pays absolutely no tribute to Freddie. It enforces harmful stereotypes against gay men, propagates myths about Freddie’s sexuality, erases his struggles, elevates Mary fucking Austin to a saint like status, and reduces the most important relationship of his life to 2 seconds of screentime. Overall, the film is a fucking piece of garbage.

It is so clear that it was made only to earn money and win Oscars and not with the intention to celebrate Freddie. They achieved both of those things, so Freddie’s real story doesn’t matter to them at all.

Fuck the film. As @obsessivelollipoplalala recently said in one of her responses, I cannot read anything about the film without wanting to break or bite something.

[larentsaloud]

Real versus Imaginary

What makes a relationship real?

It’s not photos. Or hugs. Or any skinship. Saying I love you.

I love this for taekook. They showing us they GOOD.

Have we forgotten that they had a rough time and even talked about it ITS?

Them posting each other is fab! We should all be shaking our booties in celebration that boys have healed. They had overcome their differences. Well done. Keep it up. I never wanna see you two fall out. Again. Jimin the fairy better arrange another reunion and make up scene on film, since we can’t get the rainy day fight footage, this is your penance Jikook.

No but seriously.

I am happy for them. 🥺🥺🥺

They’re in a band together so I do expect selcas and as Hobi’s magnanimous record shows—he has ALL the files—don’t we all wish a sneak preview!? Namjoon sure doesn’t want us to see. I wonder why. LOL.

Be like Hobi. Sharing is caring.

Anygays.

My point was that you all need to stop. To all the Karen’s out there.

STOBBBB 👋🏻👋🏻

Stop freaking out. Jikook is fine.

BTS is on a winter break they’re supposed to be enjoying Christmas with their families for the first time in ages. (Kuddos to those still isolating.) Just wait until some content emerges later about how J-hope and Jimin and Jungkook were the only ones that hung out together, then you’ll be sorry.

A while back, while in a relationship we had a house together, the whole shebang. Mother-in-law used to ring me and tell me she loved me, that kind of thing.

When you are in an actual adult relationship you don’t have to be together 24/7, but also that person is your preference in companionship. You comfortable with them. It just happens. It’s hard breaking the habit. (Bit of a Louis Tomlinson in me.)

But it’s super healthy to spend time apart and have your own circle of friends and actually not be glued to each other all the time. I remember when I was working with another ex, we didn’t live together but we worked together and had the same interests…

So like we would create opportunities to be together through work and after work and it was super addictive 🤣

I can’t imagine HOW Jikook work and live together tho. I couldn’t do it.

😅😅😅😅😅

Jikook work together, they also appear to me as IRL couple and as such if they do live together…Respect bro. Mad respect.

With some of my partners I had major online presence and with other not. It depends on what they wanted. One wanted to post me, the other wanted to live with me. Also it changed over time?

Whining for jikook to jikook won’t make it happen.

All I’m saying is. If you define what’s real by social media then good fucking luck. It’s obviously incredibly deceptive?? I could construct a whole life online and actually live a flat box in your neighbourhood shed. You see the problem? Right?

These men are kpop idols. Hello?

There’s so much we don’t know about Jikook’s pretences and how they wish to conduct their relationship. Why is everyone freaking out over SM?

It’s funny to me that some shippers / tkkrs suppose that a few photos would demonstrate as a ‘proof’.

Why does nobody listen to Tae?

Would a boyfriend not know where his boyfriends’ room is? Would a boyfriend let his boyfriend run around with a giant hickey while his best friend is responsible for creating it on said boyfriends neck?

My head is hurting just thinking about it…

I’m gonna need all the tkkrs to please go and get some sexual healing.

If legally able please seek a relationship and see for yourself if

You eat, sleep, fly, practice, exercise with your boyfriend / girlfriend

Do you spend 24/7 as an inseparable duo according to all your acquaintances

Are you a jiminipedia? By which I mean do you know everything about your partner and do you INSIST on telling everyone everything about them with your whole chest?

Do you preface each story with “I was with Jungkook…”

Invite them to your vlive because you’re already in their studio and you wanna see them. Your partner arrives in under a minute and you hold hands under the table like bros, but romantically

Your partner doesn’t use the honorifics with you because yeah you equal and sometimes they slip up. Oops. Sometimes they tease you…to flirt. Other times they just DGAF you’re on camera I guess

Etc etc etc literally the universe is a jikooker

Or do you:

Show up at your BFFs room only find your boyfriend / girlfriend already there and you’re confused who’s room you’re in because wtf is this

Find out your boyfriend has a giant hickey that your BFF has given them 👀

I can’t even continue to post the list…it’s just…

[nonbinaryresource]

hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto