#like EYE think all of my fic makes sense as a group and reads similarly (mainly just. someone suffering internally.)

[its-all-papaya]

Hi, I hope you're doing well! I've gone through the majority of your ao3 account and just wanted to say thanks for keeping me entertained through a low day.

I'll be watching out for anything new you post from now on 🤭

Wish you all the best and if you ever want to scream about F1 or life in general, feel free to hit me up!

omg hi !! you're so welcome ! so glad my writing could bring you any kind of joy ! not sure when the next thing will be out tbh but you know where to find it when it is !

thx for visiting my inbox, come again soon <3

[mercars-musings]

A Very Overdue Break

Fandom: Dragon Age - The Veilguard

Pairing- None, this is a boi chilling out alone mini fic.

TW- literally nothing for once, just silly lil fluff shit where Rook gets a BREAK.

Description-

Rook {Az} runs away for a bit of alone time in Arlathan. This is probably the least stressful thing I'll ever post in my whole fanfic career tbh lmfao. Done as part of a Rook Story Time Ask Game!: "Rook Visiting a Place They Love".

Original Ask Here // Ask Game Here

Word count- 796

Read on AO3: Here!

~ ♡ ~

The crisp crunch of autumn leaves & the snapping of twigs sound out into the empty grove as a lone Qunari slowly treks his way into the area. The man pauses for a moment as he glances around expectantly, until, his eyes finally land on a particular arrangement of familiar trees.

It never quite made sense to Az why he felt so at peace in this specific part of the forest, around these certain trees. Surely, all trees looked & functioned similarly enough that no particular set would leave a lasting impression on someone who hadn't grown up in nature. Yet, Az could somehow always tell this specific grouping apart from all the others.

They did look an awful lot like the ones his mother cultivated when he was a boy, but he was sure that the environment in Arlathan was way too different from Minrathous' for that to be remotely possible…

Rook's thoughts were cut short by another loud crunch of leaves as he absentmindedly dropped the bag he was carrying. Suddenly remembering why he was there, Az knelt in front of the bag and tugged it open, revealing an an assortment of food, literature & blankets.

Staring at the contents momentarily, he considered his options before deciding to grab a red knitted throw. Standing up, Az turned to scan the patch of grass & leaves in front of him, settling on his usual spot right up against the grouping of trees he was just thinking about.

In a quick, almost practised movement, Az whipped the blanket forward, forcing it out of it's wrapped state & into a more loosened condition that allowed it to flutter gently onto a pile of leaves.

Taking a few moments to admire the talented needle work & impressive stitching that made up the Shadow Dragons symbolic serpent, Rook was reminded of the events that lead up to his procural of what was probably one of the comfiest blankets he had owned to date.

It was shortly after Lucanis & Neve had made their relationship official: Lucanis had confided in Az that he wasn't sure how to actually navigate the relationship very well due to, well for lack of a better phrase, complete lack of experience. Much to his dismay, however, the crow soon realised that Az was almost as helpless as him in the realm of romance, having only had one meaningful relationship prior to that conversation. Though, the pair of men did push through and attempt to brainstorm some ideas on intimate yet meaningful presents that Neve wouldn't expect coming.

After much discussion, and Lucanis {quite hypocritically} being upset at finding out that his new beau really did just sleep on the bare couch in her office, the two men settled on something that seemed like the perfect gift. Not only would it make use of the assassin's affinity for acts of service but it was also: something nobody would expect from a seasoned assassin AND something that would probably award Neve a few extra hours of sleep a night: a knitted blanket.

Fortunately for Lucanis, after spending most of his sleepless evenings knitting away at the throw {and lying about it to anyone that asked} he was able to do the impossible & actually surprise Neve with the gift! Unfortunately for Neve, after her first night of sleeping under her new gift, she was greeted by a weeks long rash. Turned out, she was allergic to the type of yarn Lucanis used & simply hadn't realised prior as she had never really come into contact with that particular variant before.

Naturally, as one of Neve's best friends & the only other Shadow Dragon on the team Rook selflessly offered his assistance in removing the offending material for Neve… by snagging it for himself. Much to the behest of Emmrich who had been nagging Az to get more comfy bedding after finding out about the Qunari's own sleeping arrangements which were, honestly, equally as awful as his fellow Shadow's.

Shaking the memory from his head with a chuckle, Az turned his attention to the bag again and began pulling out more & more of his possessions.

Soon enough, the blanket was joined by: a grouping of fluffy cushions stolen from Emmrich's room; a pot of still steaming lavender tea; a bowl of day old Saheron Fish Pockets; & the latest raunchy romance that he & Bellara had picked up while on their last mission in Treviso.

Az promptly joined his possessions as he fell back onto the expertly crafted nest that he had fashioned moments prior. After a few seconds of stretching & contorting into the most comfortable position he could, the man inhaled deeply, letting his eyelids flutter closed & his senses be flooded by the chirping of birds & the scent of herbs & early morning dew.

Finally, some peace and fucking quiet.

[ofmermaidstories]

[im very invested in your oc hana, idkk if any of this makes sense, feel free to ignore]

on my first read thru of your story, her betrayal was nowhere near as impactful to me as it is now. i was blinded by the grandeur of pro heroes being so powerful yet oh so human, and by a selfish, insecure, and very human artist. thus i glanced over one of the most realistic charcters. hana is the epitome of a slippery slope that is being human, so many of us claim to know that we will never tumble, that we will never become the monster, after all its always us versus them. the thing is, we could all be them. we're all capable of selling our identity to society and ignoring that, or worse, denying that notion just emphasizes our susceptibility to being the next victim. it took me a while to figure that out, but once i did i realized how much i could understand why hana went the way she did, and i just began to see how she couldve started to fall (how any of us couldve fallen). it all started with little hisae (what a steep cliff that is). but in hanas eyes, in her mind, its so much easier to blame the heroes, to blame society than to blame the unyielding circumstances that she (and everyone else in japan) found themselves in. just imagining the thought process hana must of gone thru is so devastating. going from regular thoughts of grief and self-blame to slowly becoming more desperate in your search for both answers and justice:

"how did no one see her?", "why did no one save her?", "what if i had stayed in the shelter?", "what if someone had noticed sooner?" and so on, and so forth until hana would finally come to the conclusion "whats the point of heroes?"

then fin, your morals and beliefs are forever changed. the juxtaposition bw hana and hisaes death vs scribbles and hanas death i feel like also highlights how we can all become a monster, we just have to decide not to. at the end of the day, its just like uncle hideyo said. our loved ones have the same duty to us as we do to them. hana had a decision to make - she had multiple decisions to make - and she made hers, so now we must make ours.

anywayss, i just wanted to appreciate your ocs, theyre some of the best ive had the pleasure to get to know, and hana, hideyo, miki, hitomu and yua will always have a special place in my heart (and hikoboshi [rip :(] plus tobi cant forget them) <3

ps if you have any notes/tidbits youve been wanting to share about your oc i would love to hear them

people are a lot more selfish than they tend to give themselves credit for! grief is just a surefire way to illuminate that. and for hana, like you so thoughtfully point out, it’s a slippery slope. 🥺 radicalisation is so easy when there’s pain involved and none of us are the same, none of us will deal with it the same way. and with the world that Horikoshi’s created in My Hero, the power imbalance is so like, obvious and literal lmao. Look at Shigaraki’s pain, and how that was used against him. Spinner’s. Dabi’s and Toga’s! Twice!! it’s not a stretch to imagine ordinary civilians with like, nominal quirks or whatever, seeing that struggle between the villains and the pros and then similarly being affected by it—wanting to fight against that. and then that fight being perverted by assholes with crueller agendas. :/

and like, even then, though? you’re right. hana had choices to make, and she made the wrong ones. she knew what she was doing was wrong. the same woman that was smuggling in nail polish for a captive kid was helping another mail like, photocards. of course she knew; you see the drop even when you’re sliding down that cliff-face, i guess. and we never get this in the fic because the point-of-view never allows it, but i do think hana’s internal justification for staying with the group, for being apart of imprisoning those kids was that it was going to happen with or without her, that by being apart of it she could mitigate the horror somehow. of course, the tragedy is that she still perpetuates it by being there—because she’s selfish. selfish and scared (she knows she’s not walking away from it) but still selfish (at the heart of it she’s still that grieving, angry teenager. she still wants revenge against the pro heroes who weren’t there. and being apart of the gala attack gives her that, and she has to ignore the bruises on Yua’s arms or the resentment of some streetkid? Then whatever. Hisae’s body was unrecongisable, afterwards).

maybe more support as a teenager, afterwards, would have given an hana the ability to transmute her anger. maybe uncle could have done something more in regards to like, trying to press charges or otherwise seeking justice. maybe scribbles could have noticed, should have noticed, the cracks. but none of that happened. you can’t play could’ve, should’ve, would’ve when it comes to other people’s choices, because they still choose. scribbles—and uncle, even—are fundamentally different people to hana. they choose differently! we chose differently, in the end.

for hana and for scribbles both, their grief is about survival (all grief is, which is why all grief is selfish). scribbles—us, we—needs other people. so much of something is people like, reaching out to scribbles (to us). so when it all hits the fan that’s what our little self-insert needs more of: other people who choose to stay. and that in turn gets scribbles to a place where like, they can help other people in turn (uncle, hitomu, miki, tobi). hana by contrast rejects everyone, because she felt abandoned. you can’t change things now; you can only do better for the people in your life going forward. so much of healing is learning that.

thank-you for reading, anon. 🥺 i’m so grateful you liked the gang. 😭 being human—and being loved, even by a perfect superhero—means knowing and being surrounded by others who have their own lives, beyond your story. something needed it’s little cast. 🥹 deku and scribbles are empty puppets without the people they love (or are hurt by) beyond each other. and the fun of doing a series is that they’re not limited to their own stories. hitomu pops up, in shouto’s fic! and hana’s presense drifts in and out—rippling out with those choices she made. a ghost along the riverbank, following the current of a story she’s no longer apart of, i guess. 🥹

[feminaexlux]

Fall to Me

TBH I realize belatedly after writing this that Truth was fomenting chaos in my soul and it needed to be taken the fuck out with a proverbial shotgun

Anyway here's a fic that was based off of Truth and without knowledge of the rest of S4 so far, just in case nothing makes sense

I also know I promised smangst (smut + angst) but I got tired/lazy and @mintaka14 posted something I felt was eerily similar (or just reminded me I needed to get this done) so I wanted to get this out the door

Read on AO3 here!

Rated M for language I guess?

⁂

Luka was in a precarious situation. He was lying half-naked on Marinette's chaise, with Marinette herself lying half-naked on him. She let out a quiet sleepy giggle when she brushed her thigh against his raging hard-on, still unfortunately trapped under his over-tight jeans. His neck felt sore where she'd bitten him and he figured there'd be a pretty obvious bruise there soon.

His chest was also similarly marked.

He woke up like this. He had woken up when he had needed to sneeze because some hair got all up in his face. He then realized he had a whole-ass person on top of him. And that person was the girl he had been in love with for years. He had gently brushed away her hair and she had hummed out a "Mmmm, Luuuuka," that got him hot-and-bothered and unable to go back to sleep. He kinda didn't want to wake her in fear of this whole precarious situation blowing up in his face.

⁂

This all started a week ago with Dingo, that fucker. Well, sort of. Maybe. Maybe that was all circumstantial. But Dingo had 2 extra tickets to The Bondsmiths and Ding had given them to Luka. Juleka was busy with stuff, his Ma wasn't into this newfangled noise, Ivan wouldn't go without Mylene, Mylene was in Spain on vacation, Rose was "stuff," and if Dingo was involved most of Luka's other friends wouldn't be.

He'd just thrown it out into a group chat "Hey I have an extra ticket anyone want to come?" and Marinette was the one that said "me~!" Luka and Dingo had a tense stare off when Dingo handed over the tickets.

Her? Dingo's sharp brown eyes seemed to say.

Luka stared back coolly. Yes. We're friends.

Dingo fucking smirked. How much longer, eh? Cheers, mate. He gave the tickets to Luka with a smarmy wink.

The night of the showing Luka got stuck being the designated driver. He was used to it. The concert area was indoors and packed. Ding almost got shitfaced and Brielle had to keep him from falling over. At least the sets were fantastic. When the concert was closing at around 02:34 Ding and Brielle were having sloppy disgusting make-outs, making both Luka and Marinette ever so slightly uncomfortable.

That was when it all started getting weird. Weirder.

Brielle came up for air and told Luka that she and Ding would take a cab back, so all Luka would need to do was drop off Marinette. Luka shrugged and did just that, but Marinette invited him up to crash at her place because it was already so late and he looked so tired. He was about to pass on that when Marinette mentioned that her parents were on vacation in China and wouldn't be back for a whole month, just… out of the blue.

Before he could formulate any sort of coherent response she took his hand and pulled him up the stairs to the living room, sat him on the couch, started brewing some chamomile tea for the both of them, and talked about the concert. Marinette smiled at him after handing him a mug and short-circuited his brain again. "That was fun!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed," Luka smiled back, sipping his tea.

She sat down next to him and brushed her hair back over her ear. A shiny black earring seemed to glimmer with the light it caught. "I'm really glad I was able to go with you."

His head was empty except for noticing the light blush she had on her cheeks. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes, and somehow Luka got the sense that she was… expecting something? Oh, a response, duh. "Same. It's always nice to hang out with you."

She smiled, drank the rest of her tea and set it aside. "Luka, can I kiss you?"

… What? Wow, alright he was tired. He thought he heard her ask him if she could kiss him. He was already in the half-asleep pseudo-dream state and probably imagined that whole thing. Goddamn he was such a simp for her. "Heh," he said noncommittally.

Marinette blinked at him. "Is that a… a no?"

"Hmm?"

She scooted closer to him and he took a big gulp of his tea to hide his nervousness. "You… don't want me to kiss you?"

Oh God he heard that correctly. He sputtered and coughed, covering his mouth with a fist. "Wh-what?" He blushed hard.

She blushed as well. "Sorry! I'm sorry. I-I-I thought… um."

Several years ago they had tried to date but she'd always been… unavailable. So they kept hanging out as friends, which was… fine. It was fine. They'd never even gotten to really do anything together as a couple but as friends? It went better.

He wasn't over her. Never tried to convince himself he was. But he also honestly hadn't expected her to want to get back together. So… what changed? She sighed heavily, her complexion calming back down. "Nothing changed. Not really." She looked down toward the floor at her feet and he finally realized he asked that last thought out loud. "I… maybe I guess I did." She looked back up at him. "I've been thinking lately that I just want… to do something for me, for once. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" She trailed off and stared back at the floor.

"I've never stopped wanting to be with you." Oh shit he said it. She looked back up at him and he awkwardly took another swallow of tea and looked away. "Sounds bad. I guess it is," he said eventually.

"But you didn't tell me?"

He met her eyes. "You were happy. You were with Adrien. I can't force my feelings on you."

She took a breath and let it out slowly. "I was, yeah." Her words hung in the air.

Luka hadn't figured out what happened to break up the state of Adrienette, but when he came back from touring with Jagged, Marinette and Adrien were "just friends" again. Luka wasn't sure how long ago the split happened and after 2 or 3 years apart did he even know Marinette anymore?

She had welcomed him back to Paris as a more grown up Marinette, not actually so different than he had remembered her. She had more confidence, less anxiety, a spine of steel. She was in charge of herself and it was so good to see her so sure.

He didn't want to mess that up for her in any way. So they remained friends for 2 more years. And for one reason or another they both kept being single.

He had somehow reintegrated back in her inner circle of friends. Luka saw for himself that Marinette and Adrien had a lot of history in their little in-jokes and double talk, dropping code phrases and making each other laugh at random. Maybe they'd reignite that spark and Luka didn't want to be caught in the resulting blaze. Even if they didn't, underneath it all he worried about being disappointed and left in the dark by Marinette like he'd been all those years ago.

Not that it did anything to change his attraction to her. He was a sucker for girls like her, except there had only ever been the one.

Marinette took his free hand and squeezed it gently. "I was happy, yes. And… I was hoping I could be again. With you?"

⁂

Slowly, Marinette thought, take it slow. She did spring this on him a little suddenly but hey, it felt right, and she had it on relatively good authority that it was time. At this point in her life she knew to trust her gut instinct and friendly advice. Although she felt more okay with this because her head was sliiightly impaired right now.

She also thought that he'd jump on… her, she supposed, given the opportunity - but he was uncharacteristically reserved. Was it uncharacteristic? Maybe not. He'd always been pretty laid back and easy going.

And observant.

Which meant he was thinking and had doubts about them. Well, shit. Okay. She didn't make it easy on them the last time they tried anything like this. Actually, Hawkmoth had made life difficult for her so there hadn't even been an opportunity for a them.

He sighed softly and squeezed her hand back. "I want… this. I do. But there's still something that worries me."

Alright, fuck going slow. "I'm Ladybug. I am now and I was then. That's why I kept disappearing." This was alright, it was kind of an open secret by this point in her superhero career. Her parents knew, her closest friends knew, and Luka was a close friend she wanted even closer, so he should know.

His mouth was slightly open and his eyebrows shot up. "Ah."

"Things are… okay now, aren't they? I'm not needed like I was before."

He smiled a little and his worried expression softened, understanding. "That… does explain a lot of things but that's not the only thing I was worried about."

That surprised Marinette. And actually now she started to worry herself. What other red flags had she given him? Shit. She'd been a basket case in her earlier teens but she'd left behind the Teenage Angst Things and graduated to Adult Things, hadn't she? Fuck.

He chuckled. "It's not --all-- a you thing, this is a me thing," he said.

"Oh please don't give me the 'It's not you it's me' talk when we haven't started anything," Marinette interrupted.

He snorted, putting down his empty tea mug on the table. "Yeah, I still want to give you some context," he continued. "First off, I'm not like Dad, I don't want to be a big rock star with all that baggage. I just wanna play music and do small gigs and have fun. I'm not gonna be rolling in money and I can't give you everything that you'd possibly want."

Marinette blinked. "I… already knew that?"

"Second, if you do want to 'start' things I promise you I'm not just going to let you go again."

Marinette bit back a smile. "Alright. Are we entering some kind of agreement here? Is this a pre-nup?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"We're already getting married?" He laughed.

"Not if you don't want to kiss me!" He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.

Soft, warm, simple. Real.

She placed her hands on his face and brought him in for another kiss, stopping him from pulling back all the way. "More," she breathed out.

⁂

"More?" Luka thought. It was… an odd ask but okay… He was sort of interested in more as well so why not? Except well, there were a few things clarified but he really meant to talk about things in detail before diving into… her mouth like he just did. Her fingers worked their way through his hair, her nails skimming across his scalp sending shivers down his spine. She gave back as much as she was receiving from him in their make-out and if he had to taste only one thing for the remainder of his life he'd want it to be her: sweet, warming, with notes of chamomile, bourbon, vodka, and rum.

This was getting a little too indulgent but most of him didn't mind. One part of him craved this from her, but… wait, shit. Bourbon? Vodka? Rum? She'd been drinking, dumbass. Shit. "Mm--" He tried to say her name to get her attention, maybe slow them down a bit -- okay, a lot -- but she had just leaned back on the couch and he was pulled down with her still relentlessly kissing him. "Mar--" he tried again, but she took that opportunity to take his bottom lip gently between her teeth. One of her hands went to his hips and she grabbed a belt loop and hooked a finger under his jeans, tugging him closer.

Oh boy.

He broke free from her a little reluctantly. "Hold on," he chuckled nervously after pulling back. "Wait a sec."

Her eyes went wide open and she froze. She pulled back her hands and stuttered out a "W-was that bad? S-Sorry! Oh I'm so--"

He pressed two fingers to her lips to stop the torrent of apologies. Apparently the penchant of apologizing for everything wouldn't change about Marinette even if she'd been drinking. "Marinette, you had a few drinks. I don't… I don't think…" He sighed, sitting back up.

"I only had 3?" Marinette squeaked.

"4. You finished off Brielle's."

"I-I think I'm pretty sober?"

"But you're not sure."

"I'm… sober enough, aren't I?"

"I'm not confident making that call."

"But I… I want this," Marinette said quietly but firmly. "I really want this."

The thought that kept mentally slapping Luka across the face was But will you still want this in the morning? Well. He had to be honest with himself. It was really Will you still want me in the morning?

Her knowing the general trajectory of his life and joking about marriage aside, she hadn't said anything about wanting him. Wanting a "this" and wanting to be happy again, sure. Having him along for the ride, sure. But actually wanting him and all he was? Still unclear.

And even if she said she wanted him, would he believe her? She'd been 14, yes, but she said she wanted to date and… never actually followed through, Ladybug duties aside. He sighed to himself. She hadn't been ready. That wasn't her fault. She couldn't tell him then.

But that time of being left behind didn't magically evaporate with an explanation.

He didn't think he was bitter or resentful but all of that was hitting him full-force now. Not again, his head warned him. Not again. You don't have to deal with that. And yeah, he didn't have to deal with that... Sometimes a heartbreak was worth braving.

He needed some time to think about if this was worth braving.

He felt Marinette shuffling at his side but he didn't give in to the temptation to look. He stared down at his hands, his elbows propped on his knees as he slumped forward.

"Can… Can I hear what you're thinking?" Marinette asked softly. There was a little bit of uncertainty in her voice. He didn't say anything for several heartbeats. "Luka?"

Well, at least she didn't call him Adrien. That was a plus. God that'd been once and it still left an awful taste in his mouth. "You should probably head to bed. We can talk later." Later. There was always later. Except he was tired of later. It'd been better when he didn't have to tell himself he could wait. It'd been better when he hadn't had anything to wait for.

Easier. Not better. He had to give her that.

"No," she said. "I'd like to talk now if that's alright. I'd like to… understand." Right, she was better at standing her ground. She wasn't 14 anymore. He wasn't 16 and naïvely hopeful anymore.

He probably wasn't going to sleep anyway. "I don't know how to trust you."

⁂

Shit. Shit shit shit.

Marinette felt the all too familiar cold panic settling on her shoulders like it always did. Of course he didn't trust her, she wouldn't trust herself fully now with how things played out back then. She was definitely getting a headache.

Fucking Cockmoth. Fucking Guardianship. Fucking… Adr--no, she made her peace with Adrien. They were past that now. Fucking… obligations and wrangling all those threads in her life to hold together. Marinette figured she was done with all that, but…

At the epicenter of all of these problems was her. She had to admit, it wasn't her fault but it became her responsibility to treat those around her as fairly as she could. And she hadn't been fair with Luka.

God, she spent hours staring at pictures of Adrien and drooling over every damn appearance. When she tried to get past the crush the whole universe was conspiring to push her to indulge it instead. And worst yet, she did indulge it while trying to date Luka! This was… she should have seen it coming. Who in their right mind wouldn't be at least a little bit wary of her intense obsession over Adrien in her formative years influencing her now? It defined who she was for a long time.

But she was different now, she grew up. She just needed to show it, right?

Wait. There was something about the way he said what he said. "You don't know how to trust me?" He nodded. "Do… do you at all?"

"Mostly." Okay, so there was still a tiny sliver of a chance? "I trust you with almost everything."

"Except?"

"Except me." He paused for a moment. "And you've been drinking."

But! But I… Yeah. "Okay." Her being slightly impaired did make things a little complicated. And maybe that was the reason why she was being a bit impulsive right now, the alcohol was fast-forwarding her decision making process. Marinette let out a breath she held in. "Will you stay here tonight?"

He raised an eyebrow but relented with a "Yeah."

"Come upstairs with me?"

He raised the other eyebrow as well, looking nervous. "Upstairs? To your room?"

"Yes, I wanted to--" It took a second but it clicked. What she asked didn't sound any less impulsive with how he probably interpreted that. "Oh I'm not going to seduce you or anything I just was thinking it'd be nicer for you if you were using my daybed instead of the couch here but I guess it could sound a little like I'm asking for sex which I'm not. I mean unless you consider making-out se--okay nevermind!" Wow, way to go, Marinette. Her face was burning with embarrassment. "I'll bring down a blanket!"

Okay, she had to admit it, she was definitely more than a little tipsy. She felt lightheaded when she stood up quickly. She tried to hide her disorientation as best she could as she walked away, heading toward the ladder leading up to the hatch. She'd been so focused on seeming not-drunk that she bonked her head at the top climbing up. "Ouch!"

"Are you alright?" Luka asked, and even tipsy Marinette could hear the puzzled amusement in his voice.

"I'm fine," Marinette muttered. She forced open the entry and it slammed open on the other side with a loud thunk. Fuck, she wasn't at all convincing him that she was sober. She slipped off her shoes and sat back down on her chaise/daybed, feeling incredibly embarrassed at herself. This was not at all going the way she hoped. He still felt betrayed at the things that happened when she was an idiot teenager. Should she have known? He never told her!

But he never told her because he never thought they'd get back together. That was obvious in the way he said all the things he said.

He did want to be with her. He did want her. But he'd been so hurt by what happened and… she never knew. No, of course she knew, he was akumatized by it. He'd carried that for so long and let her live her life without her knowing. Damn it, she needed to… she needed to make this right.

How could she make this right?

She was unsurprised as she felt the cool streaks of tears falling down her cheeks. In the morning, they'll talk. Ignoring the fact that it was already morning, she knew they both just needed to put this aside and get some rest for now. She heard shuffling and Luka making his way up the ladder. She quickly wiped her eyes.

"Hey, you doing okay?" He had a clear look of concern on his face, kneeling down in front of her. "Is your head hurting?"

"Oh no, sorry, I just spaced out."

"You hit your head that hard?" Luka asked, sounding even more concerned.

"No, no. I-I was… My head's fine, Luka." She sighed. "Just. Thinking, is all. Sorry, let me get the blanket."

He looked up at her a bit more keenly. "You've been crying." A simple statement.

"Yeah," Marinette said quietly, defeatedly. "But I'm okay." She pasted on a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She started getting up but he caught her attention and spoke with some hesitation.

"I don't need the blanket. I'm probably not going to sleep," he said with a half smile, sitting down on the floor in front of her. "Too much going on here," he tapped against his temple. "I'm guessing the same for you?"

"Yeah again," she said, smiling for real this time. "Can we keep talking?"

"We can. I thought it'd be better if you got some rest but sleep isn't coming for either of us anyway." The lights in her room were muted but she could see the bags forming under his eyes. He passed his hands over his chin, lightly scratching at the stubble coming in.

"I was really kind of… no, not kind of. I was awful when we dated before."

"You weren't awful. You just weren't there. I understand that you had Paris to save," he added quickly when she had furrowed her eyebrows. "But the fact remains that I wasn't able to spend any time with you. Juleka kept telling me to watch out and that you dated me only because Adrien wasn't available to date anymore. I was hoping you'd change your mind and you would want to be with me, but then you were making time for him and your other friends while I was left waiting. I'm a human being, Marinette, not a doormat. You forgot about me. It was miserable and I felt like shit. I almost regretted asking you out at all."

⁂

Ah, fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There were none of his usual filters. He just spewed all that out there. It was all true but maybe he should've let it go? She was young and dumb, anyone at that age was capable of making stupid-ass mistakes. Luka himself made soooo many of them. It'd been like 5 years since their breakup, maybe he should just get over it already. Marinette was in his arms literal minutes ago and he had to go and get like this. And he made her cry again. Nice one, Couffaine.

This was the worst sort of crying. She went absolutely still with a solemn expression, being oppressively silent while the tears fell from her eyes. He felt his mouth go dry and he swallowed. "I--" he cut himself off.

Marinette nodded her head so slightly Luka almost didn't see the motion. "I didn't make time for you," she agreed, her voice tiny and broken.

He suddenly wanted to make a quip about knowing all about time and giving Second Chances to let them both recover but that would be disingenuous and corny as hell. He wasn't so sure he believed in them much anymore. And maybe the way this played out was better anyway, at the very least he needed to own what he said as he couldn't take back his words.

Marinette broke the silence. "I… I wasn't very happy with myself back then. I did make a lot of bad decisions. I didn't give you… much of anything I guess."

He smiled a little. "I still have that pendant."

"I could have given you more. I could have been doing so much more. And I didn't. I didn't," she repeated, a hitch in her voice.

Fuck. He could meet her halfway at least. "It sounded like you had a lot to deal with. You knew your friends better so it makes a lot of sense that you'd prefer to hang out with them. I was just some guy. The brother of a friend. I wasn't that important in the long run."

"Don't say that," Marinette cringed a little. She wrapped her arms around herself. "You were--are important. I was… I was scared. Of a lot of things. A lot of stupid things." She shivered slightly. "I was a little scared of disappointing you. I was scared that maybe I had used you to… make me feel better about myself. I was scared that you'd never see all of me. I was scared that Hawkmoth would use you against me and your family and Paris if you knew I was Ladybug and it happened anyway without you knowing about me. I was so stupid back then."

He sighed. "Hey, please don't beat yourself up. I didn't want to make you feel like you have to explain what happened in the past. I got too… wrapped up in how I felt back then. We didn't work out and that's just life." It hadn't been their time.

Did he still love her? Sure. But they'd been better off as friends. She even made a point of trying to hang out with him nowadays. She told him everything that was on her mind. She gave him small gifts here and there, made it to all of his gigs, invited him to all of her fashion showings. They saw the movies and concerts they wanted to see together. When she felt lost or sad he was the first one she reached out to.

As… friends?

There was this uncomfortable feeling tugging at the back of his mind. He felt it at the base of his skull, a slow dawning realization. But… he almost didn't want to acknowledge it as it could have been just some phantom hope that she would love him like he sometimes dreamed. It was way too easy to get lost in some fantasy.

Maybe he was just scared himself. Scared of being ghosted again if he picked up this hope and tried to make it real. In a roundabout way he was saying that, at least.

Okay. Time to bite the bullet. He leaned forward and put his hand on her elbow. "I know we're hanging out a lot more now. I'm sincerely enjoying all the times we get to do stuff together. I'm grateful that you're giving me all that." This is it. Just say it out loud. "I'm saying that if we want to be more than friends, I'm scared that you're going to leave me again."

Whew. Was that so bad? Actually yeah it was terrifying.

There was a grimace on Marinette's face. "I… I-I understand," she said weakly. "I understand why you'd be afraid of that. But I don't know how to prove to you that I won't?"

It felt like the world shifted, the same as the first time he ever saw her. That earlier hope was coiling around his heart, making it beat faster. "You won't?"

She kept looking pained. "J-Just so you know I t-totally get it if you wanna stay friends or… or something, but I-I want… I know I messed up and I get pretty crazy sometimes so maybe you don't want anything to do with me after this and it's completely your right to do that--"

"Hold on," Luka interrupted her, half anxious and half this is so Marinette. "I'm not--" She put her fingers to his lips to quiet him.

"B-But I have to ask if you could give me a second chance?"

⁂

Marinette pulled her head back a bit and got annoyed at herself. "Sorry, that wasn't supposed to be a pun. O-On your… history as Viperion."

Great, so not only had she made an ass of herself but she just unintentionally punned at Luka. Marinette intensely disliked when Chat had made those inappropriately annoying puns whenever moments were tense. She seemingly picked up the habit, ugh.

Luka laughed and the tension was cut a bit. Maybe Adrien wasn't so wrong to have joked all the time. Luka took her hand into his and pressed his face against her palm. "Alright, alright," he breathed out. Instantly Marinette's heart started beating faster. "I just wanted you to hear me out. You do hear me, right?"

Marinette nodded. "I hear you." There was a slightly rough and tickling sensation under her finger tips as she was able to feel some of his 5-o'clock-shadow (except what was it now, 4am?). Funny, she didn't notice that so much when she'd been kissing him.

"Then you should know that even though I've been scared, I could never stop hoping you'd warm back up to me." He gently folded her hand in his and smiled up at her. "Do you want to go out to dinner with me? We don't have to get married along the way."

"W-Well, yes to dinner, or maybe breakfast? But I mean," Marinette said, attempting for casual but probably still coming across nervous. "Don't throw that whole marriage idea out yet. I'm still not sure how to… prove things?"

He smiled. "Spend some quality time with me. That's all. It doesn't have to be big."

"Okay, breakfast and dinner. And lunch, too." She wanted to spend all the time she could with him. He wasn't asking for much -- to be honest he never asked for much, and this was something she wanted to give.

Luka smiled, probably thinking she was joking. "Think you can get some rest now?" He asked. "I can head back downstairs--"

"No! No, no, I mean, stay here with me. I-If you want."

"You're not trying to seduce me, are you?" He grinned.

"Well, I can," Marinette grinned back. "Can I?"

He seemed a little surprised by that. "Uh," he blushed.

How cute, he got flustered. Capitalizing on that, Marinette leaned forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders, her forehead against his. "I'd really like to," she whispered.

"How... inebriated are you?"

She sighed. "Do you really think I'd be having a coherent conversation with you if I was drunk?"

"You tell me, Ladybug."

"Luka Couffaine, you are a gentleman but I'm merely... warm and not even buzzed anymore. I would definitely still like to seduce you."

He blinked a few times. "Oh." He paused again, thinking it through. He gave a little laugh. "I'd really like that too."

[erodasghosts]

memories & misconceptions | harry styles

prologue: the summer flashback

↳ read Thea’s version (tom holland fic) by @peeterparkr​

song: adore you - harry styles

after months of working on this with nancy (@peeterparkr) i am very excited to be posting the first part of our new conjoined series. this will be two seperate fics, telling two different stories. they are each reader inserts, but the harry reader in the tom fic is named kat, and the tom reader in this fic is called thea (if that makes sense?) so you kind of get to pick which you want to focus in on more :) but to get the full experience read both!

story summary: Not every relationship can last forever, but what decides when it ends? Is it the memories of when things were, or is it the misconceptions of the present. What is stronger in matters of the heart when love and friendship becomes a choice? Does pride dim our devotion enough for it to be forsaken?

And is obstinacy strong enough to erase the memory of a hopeful summer night? When a group of friends are reunited after years of unspoken truths and turbulent grudges,  old arguments and fights might ricochet, and though their history might be dense enough to drown them, it might be the one thing to keep them afloat. 

prologue summary: the beginning of what was thought to be an endless love, and of the distance that would only grow further.

pairing: harry styles x artist!reader

warnings: none?

word count: ~9.3k

a/n: i hope you enjoy, and please give any feedback!

story masterlist

next chapter

masterlist

The wind brushed in through Harry’s bedroom window, pushing on the curtains with a calm and warm air. Summer always seemed so distant or quick to end, never stuck too long in the heat of it.

Summer struck you similarly to a craving that one can’t quite shake. People seem to dream of summer when finding themselves in the cold winter snow, yet wishing they could have just one last summer night when it is coming to an end. But summer was never meant to last for an eternity, and there were definitely things that no one wouldn’t miss when it did finally end.

Summer, though with its pleasant sunny days and warm nights, is about much more than just its weather. It was the time to be surrounded by friends, and an opportunity to feel that you had a supportive family. This was when lonely nights felt less empty, because you at least had the endless opportunities to see everyone together.

It was when new beginnings seemed to take place. There was a sense of security and possibly even courage that was placed within you at this time, allowing you to take some chances you might never risk otherwise. Even if summer wasn’t forever, and even if that courage would fade, you would try to take it in as if it was never ending. It was more beneficial and less damaging to just accept things as they came.

With the opportunity for new beginnings, you wondered what possibilities still would lie ahead. And not just for yourself, but your friends as well. You thought that maybe now, with summer getting closer to its end, you could find some of that temporary courage to use between yourself and Harry, and maybe Thea or Tom would find some for one another. Because if there was ever a time to take a chance in a new relationship it would be now.

“We’re playing this new song at Nana’s tonight,” Harry’s voice softly spoke above the flow of the wind, “I’m a bit nervous about it, we’ve only ever practiced it together...” he took a breath in. “It’s a great song, of course, because I wrote it,” he grinned, “but do you mind if I play it and you can tell me what you think?”

You smiled, looking up at him as you laid back on his bed, he was biting his lip anxiously. “Of course. I’m sure it’ll be great, I’m happy to help you still.”

He was sat beside you, one leg over the edge and holding his old guitar he used when writing songs. “Well, I’ve been working on it for a while,” he began to strum lightly with a quiet laughter, “just think of how much work and dedication I’ve put into this before being too harsh.”

“Oh, of course,” you laughed and placed a finger on your temple, “I’ll keep note of that as I’m judging.”

“Good,” he continued to play, nodding lightly. “But really, if you think it’s just complete garbage, keep that to yourself? My ego can’t take the damage of you not liking it.”

You propped your feet up on the headboard and raised a brow at him, “Are you ever going to start singing?”

“I am,” he chuckled.

Harry and Tom had tested out all of their songs with you and the others before playing to anyone else, using that to work out any changes they might want to make. Thea usually had more input, considering she had helped them write many of the songs they played. You and Andrew were still always happy to listen, and had some helpful feedback from just a listener's perspective.

You looked out the window, settling in as he cleared his throat to prepare. It was unclear as to why he was suddenly so anxious about playing a song for you, but you had decided to just patiently wait to listen.

“Be kind with your feedback,” He looked over.

Hitting his leg you scoffed, “For Christ's sake, Harry, sing.”

“Alright, alright,” he caved, still with a boyish smile.

Resting your hands on your stomach, you waited for him to finally start. He was turned back, looking down at the guitar and strumming with more intent now. Whatever the song, you figured it would be good considering his nerves. It must’ve been something important to him, since he had worked on it for so long and was so hesitant to actually share it. You wouldn’t push.

He took in a last calming breath before beginning. “Walk in your rainbow paradise,” his voice was quiet, “strawberry lipstick state of mind.”

It sounded smooth, tranquil. Mixed with the breeze and the soft echoing of conversations downstairs, the song and his singing felt so natural, as much as the sun felt natural when kissing your skin.

“I get so lost inside your eyes,” he smiled back at you. “Would you believe it?”

Feeling yourself tense up a bit, you suddenly found yourself putting more care into listening well to the lyrics. It must’ve meant something to him, with his nerves and all, so you wanted to give it more attention.

“You don’t have to say you love me, you don’t have to say nothin’, you don’t have to say you’re mine.”

His shoulders were more relaxed now, though there still seemed to be some tension. Every few seconds you noticed him glancing over at you, awaiting your reactions to each lyric. You were unsure of your own reactions, not wanting to give much of one in the case that your assumptions might be false.

But what else was there to assume about it all? Every piece of the song gave the impression that it was carefully crafted to be about one person in particular, and you nearly didn’t dare to imagine it could’ve been about you.

You recalled a conversation with Thea from just days ago, about a fear you had when it came to Harry. He and Thea were so much louder, and much more open than you had ever considered yourself to be. And so you had known about your feelings towards Harry for a good while at this point, but those had yet to be shared with him.

It was this fear of what saying it out loud might mean, how it could make things change. It was summer now, though, and those fears were meant to fizzle out with the cold winter weather and the rainy spring days. Summer was your opportunity to take the chance in saying it now.

“Oh, honey, I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you, like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do.”

Maybe you wouldn’t admit your feelings at this exact moment, but soon. With more effect than summer was having, the words he sang seemed to give you a boost of confidence. What was the worst that could happen in assuming that it was about you?

Though less dramatic to the nod to your struggle with telling him how you felt, even the lyric about lipstick had been fitting for you. And, sure, it still could be considered a generic thing, but you were choosing to be optimistic now.

“You don’t have to say you love me, I just wanna tell you somethin’. Lately you’ve been on my mind.”

Feeling a burning in your cheeks now, you sat up to readjust yourself as casually as you could. Your backs facing one another, and shoulders side by side, Harry continued on. You could’ve sworn there was a pink tint on his cheeks too, causing a faint smile to form on your lips.

How in character of him to be saying these things through a song. It was probably feeding into his need to be theatrical, though he was still mindful of your own need to be more secluded as he sang with just the two of you there.

His anxiousness about playing it for you was making more sense now, because regardless of who it was about it was deeply personal. But his nerves were rarely so affected, it only proves acceptable to assume that he was in such worry because he was sharing something that was meant for you, with you.  

Coming to an end, Harry cleared his throat and sat his guitar down beside him. “So, uh,” he brushed his nose, “what’d you think?”

With a puckish smile you replied, “It was… colourless.”

“What?” He turned himself, crossing his legs and leaning closer nervily. “What-what do you mean colourless?”

“Well,” you pursed your lips, “I guess I just… it’s a bit…”

“A bit what?” He pressed, “C’mon, I’ve been terrified of playing this for you.”

You smiled, looking at your hands and twisting your rings around, “I would say that it was a bit on the nose.”

You could see him visibly relaxing, a small smile on his lips and his usual confidence returning.

“I wanted to be straight to the point with this song, y’know?” He sat taller, “Figured that I should say it as it is, get my message across… but that doesn’t make it colourless,” he emphasized with an amusing grin. “That was just rude.”

“You asked for my opinion,” you shrugged, holding back a laugh.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, though!” He laughed.

The sun peeked in through the window above the bed, warming your skin in some sort of a comforting way. Any tension or nerves had been eased, and the both of you were simply melting into that moment now.

Silence was something that tasted so sweet when it was shared with Harry, yet it was so sour when alone. It wasn’t a panic or worry of what might happen next, but instead it was more like a reassurance that whatever might happen, it would be golden.

“I’ll try to be compassionate next time.” You let out a dramatic puff of air, “Though it’ll be rather difficult for me, I’m sure.”

Harry reached over, a doting look in his eyes, and caringly tucked a bit of your hair behind your ear. “I would appreciate any effort you could put in, my heart can’t seem to handle the brutal honesty.”

Knees rested against one another’s, Harry let his hand settle on your leg just below where your own hand had been lying. Maybe it was much more like fiction or fantasy than you had ever really wished for, though Thea would adore hearing about that part of it later, but it came so easily.

Fingers grazing delicately, Harry was leaning closer in. Taking the chance now, right at the end of summer, was a somewhat terrifying option. Yes, it was still your opportunity for a new beginning, but time was running out. If things wouldn’t work out, where would that put you in the fall?

It didn’t really matter to you anymore, that what if possibility. You were far too distracted by what was in front of you right now to be worrying so much about the future. Whatever may happen before the seasons changed, you would deal with it when it came.

Tracing his fingers up along your arm, Harry’s eyes flickered between your eyes and lips. Letting his hand rest now on your cheek, you could feel your face warming back into a blush. You both closed your eyes as you were nearing into a kiss, only inches away.

Your summer courage was coming back through, pushing you to close the space between.

“Guys, I’ve got some shit news!” Andrew’s voice rang from the stairs before he rudely shoved the door open.

You pulled back from Harry quickly, that feeling of security seeming to fade. Harry bit his lip, a small frown on his face from Andrew barging in. Andrew hadn’t known, but he very well could’ve squashed that new opportunity had you and Harry not been so determined already.

“Is no one going to ask what my news is?” Andrew sat dramatically at the end of the bed.

Harry chuckled, “What’s your news?”

“Oh, thank you so much for asking, Harry. Glad to hear you’re interested.” He cleared his throat, straightening his posture and holding a theatrical tone. “Thea’s invited Dickolas to the show tonight.”

Sharing a glance with Harry, you were both a bit annoyed that that was all that was interrupting the two of you. Which, that was bad enough news so you could somewhat understand his urgency. Still, it came as an inconvenience to how things were finally developing with Harry.

Regardless, Andrew was likely there to stay now and he had pretty well ruined the moment you had before, so you’d hopefully pick it up later.

“She invited him?” You turned yourself around, letting your legs dangle from the edge of his bed. “Why the fuck would she invite Nick?”

“Something about… needing a bigger crowd, which is true, but…” Andrew scrunched his nose, “Dickolas? He will just ruin everything.”

“I s’pose he will,” Harry mumbled, he seemed more sulky than you had been. “You’re here a bit early?”

“By like… five minutes,” Andrew chuckled, “what’s crawled up your ass? Did I interrupt something?” He wiggled his brows, “Were you two finally making a move on each other?”

You wondered if Andrew ever got tired of being invasive, though you hadn’t really minded him all that much. He seemed to be the only one in the group that could always call the rest of you out, which was a bit of an annoyance.

His childish comment had actually left you a bit embarrassed, considering how new that occurrence still was. It was typically so easy to get under your skin, but something about Harry made you cave any time that sort of teasing had to do with him.

“Piss off,” you hit Andrew’s shoulder. “We should be leaving to help Nana at the cafe anyway.”

Harry watched sorrowfully as you stood from the bed, “Oh, you guys should go ahead, I still have to get ready.”

It was as if he was remembering something last minute, some reason that he needed to stay.

“You sure?” You picked up your purse, “We could stay with you.”

“Andrew can keep me company,” he smiled widely, clapping a hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “We won’t be far behind.”

“Thank you for volunteering me,” Andrew jested.

It was a bit odd. Harry could take a great deal of time getting ready on occasion, but you didn’t really see the need for tonight. Really, you already thought he would’ve been ready to leave just as he was. It wasn’t something to make a fuss about, though, and you figured you might easily over think it if you sat on the idea for too long, wondering if it might have something to do with the song and kiss.

Ignoring Andrew, Harry stood to follow after you as you left. “Hey, I’m…” his voice was low, “sorry about him interrupting. We should talk more after the show?”

“That’d be great,” you smiled and lazily looked through your purse. “I can give you more feedback about that colourless song of yours.” You joked, testing to see how things left off.

He smiled, leaning against his door frame. “Maybe some kinder feedback this time?”

“Possibly,” you gave a devilish smile. “There were definitely parts of it that stuck, though. It’s an absolutely terrific song…” Pulling a tube of strawberry lipstick from your purse, you placed it carefully in Harry’s hand, “for being so straightforward.”

Glancing down to his hand, he closed his fingers carefully around the tube. “Straightforward seems to be getting me somewhere, so I will take that as a compliment.”

This was the perfect season to convince yourself to go through with any action you might have feared otherwise. Harry had taken advantage of that with his song, and now you were stepping forward too even if it was just with lipstick. But that had seemed to be enough for him.

“Will you be cheering me on?” He had a melodramatic pout, “With such a small crowd watching us play I can use an extra amount of your support, less people to cheer me on and such.”

“Didn’t you hear?” You smiled teasingly, “Dickolas might be showing, he could bring in an entire herd of people, you know. You won’t need my support anymore when you’ve got an entire crowd watching.”

“I’d rather drop the band entirely than have support from Dickolas,” he scrunched his nose. “What would that say about Pandora’s Signs if we attracted people like him?”

Pandora’s Signs. Such a corny name Harry and Tom had chosen for their band.

Andrew peaked over Harry’s shoulder, “Are you two wrapping this up so Harry can actually be ready on time? Would be nice if he wasn’t late to his own show for once.”

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing Andrew back without even turning to face him. “We’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” He pressed another smile towards you, “Not that Andrew is right or anything, but I probably should start getting ready.”

You could hear Andrew mumbling to himself as he went back to entertaining himself, already annoyed by Harry. Why he had put up with Harry, or the rest of you for that matter you would never understand. Andrew had just been a very patient person, you thought.

“Andrew is absolutely right, you’re almost always late.” And he had been, even if just by a few minutes. “I probably should be leaving now.”

Though knowing he should let you go, he wanted to grasp onto every second he could get.

“So that whole… moment has really ended, then?” He reached for the door knob, slowly pulling it further shut for a bit more of privacy from Andrew.

“I suppose it ended when you decided not to lock the door beforehand,” you joked, gently placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you at the cafe.”

It wasn’t exactly the type of kiss either of you were hoping for, but you could settle. Harry had a cheeky smile, gently squeezing the lipstick you had given him as you left. You had been waiting to see how things would play out between the two of you, and reality seemed to be turning out better than you had ever imagined.

You were thanking the burst of summer confidence, an excitement filling your stomach as you made your way downstairs. Thea would be the first person you’d tell, you thought she probably couldn’t wait to hear it all. You had been gushing to her for weeks about Harry, and Thea had always so carefully listened. She had likely been a huge factor to where your confidence with him was coming from too, always the first to support your feelings of him.

And you had tried your best to do the same for her, even as you struggled a bit more to show your enthusiasm. It made you question how things had been going between her and Tom, especially since you had started helping him to catch more of Thea’s attention. You had known about her feelings for him for some time, and his feelings for her were becoming increasingly more obvious.

As hopeful as you were about the two of them, it seemed to be taking them much longer to get together than it had been taking you and Harry, even if the events surrounding the song were new. Tom had struggled to just be more upfront about his feelings, nervous of what she might say. And, for once, Thea was equally as anxious.

But maybe they had gotten further while you were up with Harry, summer could’ve been helping them just as much.

“Because it’s Dickolas Thea, he…” Tom’s voice came from the kitchen, sounding annoyed and a bit disappointed. “He is a dick.”

“And you aren’t?” Thea spat back quickly.

Or maybe summer wouldn’t be helping those two at all. What reason would they have for fighting? And why would they choose Nick, of anyone, to fight about?

“I mean, they both are dicks.” You turned into the room, agreeing with Thea promptly. “Why would we want to put up with two dicks?”

Thea froze up, turning her gaze towards you now. She seemed fairly taken back by seeing you, maybe just not expecting you to so suddenly walk in as they fought. But there was this look in her eyes, one that nearly seemed hurt just when seeing you.

“Oh, haven’t thought about that,” she pondered before saying coldly, “then Tom doesn’t have to come.” A simple solution, then there wouldn’t be two dicks attending the show.

“It's literally my band?” Tom glared at her. They had seemed so hostile with one another.

“Maybe so but Thea makes a point,” you shrugged. Looking over to Thea with a smile you said,  “Seems like an even trade with them.”

You made your way to stand beside her, crossing your arms with a placid grin. Whatever was going on between them, you figured you would have agreed with your best friend over Tom. Though you were close friends with him too, he could be a bit dim. Besides, you still figured that it was only a childish fight between them, not that any of it was being taken seriously.

“See?” Thea smirked, tilting her head mockingly. “Besides, I really do think that more people seeing you guys would be better, I don’t think a bunch of old farts is a great audience for your wanna be farty band.” She was right, honestly. They could use a better audience. “Anyway, I need to… go talk to Harry.”

Thea was making her way out, leaving you in more confusion and Tom was left in anger, it appeared. Though you thought, too, that he seemed a bit hurt by what she had said, specifically about the band. The fight didn’t seem to be as petty as you initially thought anymore. The realization that it might be serious between them made a bit of your joy leave, and you now were anxiously observing them trying to figure out what was going on.

“About what, exactly?” Tom asked, nearly walking to follow before stopping himself.

“The power of friendship.” Thea replied callously without stopping.

“Are you two…” you glanced between them, “okay?”

“No, thanks for asking,” Thea said easily. “See you there, my great friend,” she smiled at you before turning back to a frown, “and Tom.”

Watching as she left, you were utterly lost. Things were not at all similar to how you had hoped they were between them, and it was much different than the vibes between you and Harry just minutes before. What had you just watched? And what had happened beforehand to lead to it? Surely it had to do with much more than just Nicholas.

“What the fuck did you say to her?” You glared towards Tom, feeling stronger about defending Thea than him. Thea was never so petty without reason. You followed after her, “Wait, Thea, what’s going on?”

“What?” She was making her way upstairs. “Nothing, he’s just being an idiot…” it was odd for her to deflect. “Wait what’s… What happened with Harry? Why are you blushing? Did you kiss?”

“Wait, what? I’m…” you brushed your fingers across your cheeks, feeling a smile reappearing as you thought of what had happened. You were still excited to let her know, but that wasn’t what was more important at the moment. “No, we didn’t kiss, but…”

“But?” Thea was grinning widely, just as excited as you had been.

It had nearly been enough to distract you from whatever it was she was so harshly avoiding. What happened with Harry felt so unbelievable, the perfect sort of storybook thing that Thea had always gushed about. And even if it had so abruptly ended, you were excited to imagine where it might go from there, and you knew that Thea would have a few ideas to imagine out with you.

You shook your head lightly, more concerned about her and Tom. “You’re just avoiding whatever happened with Tom.”

“Nothing happened,” Thea insisted. It didn’t seem true, “But you’re the one avoiding whatever happened with Harry, please!” She shifted the focus again. “You guys were there for about… an eternity, what happened? You’re smiling like an idiot.”

She was right, you still were. You really were trying your best to hide it, but the feeling was too lively for you to just block it off.

“I am not avoiding it, I’m actually happy to share but I’m just concerned for you…” Which was true, but her distractions were slowly working. “Was I really blushing, though?”

“Well, what happened?” She nudged your arm.

Would it be bad of you to just let it go? You didn’t want to push her, but she seemed really upset about something. Letting it go for the moment seemed to be best, you could ask her about it again later, and maybe then she would be more prepared to talk.

“I’m expecting to hear about Tom later, but…” you caved, letting yourself smile excitedly again, “Harry wrote this new song, and he was playing it for me… he seemed pretty nervous to share, and I guess it… I mean, it seemed to… be about me?”

It had sounded so over-the-top as you said it out loud, but even just the memory of it was stirring up the butterflies in your stomach. You were still processing it, honestly, and it was just too enthralling.

Thea must’ve agreed on that, because all she could seem to do was let out an entirely thrilled scream. You laughed a bit at her reaction, almost wanting to shy away from the attention but being far too ecstatic to do so.

“And?” She asked you, a shine in her eyes now. “What did you do?”

“I… I mean, we were close to kissing before Andrew had interrupted…” you admitted, “and then on my way out I gave him my lipstick, like he had mentioned in the song.” You glanced at her, waiting for her reaction.

“Shut up,” Thea smiled, “you should’ve bloody kissed him in the moment you twit!”

“I know, and we had been so close!” Regrettably close, because it hadn’t happened.

“And how do you feel about this?” She asked, stepping closer to you as she went on. “Are you finally admitting it? That you fancy his stupid ass?”

Now that you might never admit, because what a shame it might be. You had admitted it, to yourself and very indirectly to Thea only once before. You didn’t really need to say it for her to know, it had been very plain to see, but she still had to tease.

You had been telling her all about him for weeks, though most of it she knew herself from being his friend too. But there were things you had learned about him no one else knew yet, though some of the things were small. Harry was interesting to you, and it was easy to learn more about him because he had always wanted all eyes on him.

“Well I never said that, did I?” You joked. “And I could’ve chosen much worse, like Tom or something.”

That struck a nerve in her, her eyes going a bit cold again. “Fuck him.”

You raised your brows, shocked by her response since she had rarely used such words. “So you’re cussing now, what happened?”

As excited as you were to be sharing everything that happened with Harry, wanting to go on and on about it, really, you couldn’t help but be brought back to noticing whatever was happening with her. If something happened, you would’ve rather talked about that than go on about your own more positive experience.

Thea never wanted to take away from your happiness, or anyone’s for that matter. “What happened is that you almost kissed Harry and you’re being stupid and avoiding it.” Which neither of you believed. “So, what’s up with that?”

“Hmm, sure, that’s all.” You weren’t convinced, how could you be? If you kept pushing, though, you worried what her reaction might be. “But I don’t mean to avoid it, for once, it’s just that Andrew came in. After the show, though, maybe I can get my lipstick back from him, you know?”

“I’m pretty sure he wanted the lipstick,” she began, a smirk on her lips, “so then, how about when he gives it back, you use it so he can actually taste it.”

Thea had her lips puckered, leaning towards you as she made kissing noises. You were trying your best not to laugh, wanting to avoid her comment entirely.

“Anyway, I’ll tell you how that goes!” You cleared your throat, “You’re sure you don’t want to ride with Tom and I?”  

“I’d rather jump off a cliff,” she rolled her eyes, quick to change moods again. “No… I’m joking, I…” Thea pressed her eyes shut, “I just need to talk to Harry about one of the songs… But I’ll see you guys there.”

“Uhm,” your lips pressed together, “yeah, alright.”

Thea looked over your face, noticing your response and worrying that she sounded too cold.

“Yeah, and if you get the chance, please break his neck.” She smiled lightly again, trying to brighten your mood.

It was false, a faulty wall she was putting up so you’d let it go. You could understand not wanting to talk about whatever it was, but it was a little odd that she was acting so withdrawn. And you had recognized her need to please people, so the fact that she kept changing it back to you and Harry wasn’t much of a surprise, though it still hurt in a way. Like she hadn’t trusted you enough to tell you what it was.

You figured it was a worry more in your mind, and you wouldn’t overreact just yet. “I’d take any excuse to do that,” you smiled back, “but I do expect an explanation once I’ve done it.” A subtle way of trying to make it an easier topic maybe.

“It’s nothing, y/n.” She said quickly. “See you in a bit.”

With another faux smile, Thea turned back and made her way up the stairs. Maybe you had pushed her too much. You had noticed that she didn’t want to talk about it, and you were angry with yourself for not just letting it go. But, you recognized too that you were only trying to help her. You were concerned about not just her, but Tom too really.

It didn’t make sense that they were fighting then, and that it had been bad enough for Thea to just walk away. That hadn’t been the worst of it, you would’ve known if it was. Whatever the worst part was had something to do with so much more than just you, or even Dickolas.

You still wanted to help them, and although Thea hadn’t been so open to accepting your help, maybe Tom could use it. You did still side more with Thea on it, having no background on the situation, but it couldn’t hurt to ask him for his side of the story.

Trying to shake off your last exchange with Thea, you went back to the kitchen to talk with Tom.

“Were you really that bothered by her inviting Nick?” You chuckled, “I mean, I don’t blame you for being pissed about it, seeing as how crusty he is, but it did seem that you were being a bit dramatic.”

Tom was running a hand down his face, leaning against the counter and sitting in his own bit of pity.

“Nicholas is… he’s an urchin and I don’t want him at my show,” he complained. “She just… decided to invite him out of the blue, like it was nothing.

“The show is open to the public,” you pointed out. “And Thea can invite whoever she wants, even Dickolas.”

“Yes, but why did she choose him?” He asked tiredly. “It was like she did it just to be against me, you know?”

“Don’t be so self centered.”

“You weren’t there when she invited him,” he retorted. He was quick to be so defensive, just as Thea had been. “She… she doesn’t even like him, but you know who does? Her bloody father.”

Your brows knitted together, “What does that have to do with it?”

It was true, that Thea hadn’t even liked Nick yet her father had. But her father hadn’t liked Tom or Harry, which didn’t seem to make much sense to you knowing what you had about Nicholas.

“She probably just invited him to please her father,” Tom explained, pushing off the edge of the counter, “And if he shows, at least she’ll be spending time with someone her father actually approves of, and if not she still tried.”

Thea was known to be a people pleaser, you couldn’t deny that. And she had often done things just for her father’s approval, so he was right in that sense too. But it wasn’t of malicious intent, or at least not often.

You had probably known more on the topic than Tom, considering how much longer you knew Thea and just the types of relationships you each had with her, so you knew that deep down her reasoning wasn’t just to get back at Tom. You hadn’t witnessed their fight, or her inviting Nick, but you knew Thea.

“Which do you think it is then?” You asked him, pressing your lips together. “Is it that she did it to go against you, or she did it because her father likes Nick?”

He looked at you, somewhat dumbfounded by your question. “Both,” he replied. “He has always preferred Dickolas over me, and she was just taking the opportunity to… to hit two birds with one stone. Inviting him would make her father happy, and she was being petty and trying to get back at me for before.”

“Before?” You asked, growing more and more curious. “What happened before?”

Tom’s gaze snapped to meet yours, as if he was suddenly remembering that you were actually there talking with him and he wasn’t just ranting about to himself. He had said too much, or at least much more than he was hoping to say at this point.

“No, nothing, it’s…” his mind was scrambled. “Maybe, well, maybe I’ll tell you about it later? We should just enjoy tonight, shouldn’t we? We’ve got a show to get to.”

A sudden change in his tone, Tom was guiding you outside with him to his car. You had actually been getting answers about whatever happened, and now he was just avoiding it as plainly as Thea. Prying did no good, so you thought it would just be better to drop it now before he too might get more defensive on the matter.

The fight that happened between them was something that they wanted you to think was nothing. They wanted you to believe it was petty, and that it could be let go of quickly. But if that were the truth of it, Thea would’ve just told you what had happened, and Tom would’ve too even if just to complain. You knew them, and you knew that it was more than they cared to admit.

You also knew that trying to force either of them to talk about it would only make the situation worse. They would become defensive, and they would possibly shut you out entirely. But, if they were ready to talk about it then they would. What worried you, though, was imagining when they might finally be ready, if ever.

Riding to the cafe with Tom, the sun seemed ever so slightly dimmer than it had been before. The breeze was still blowing the same, but the warmth in the air seemed to be fading.

“I’m sorry about all of that back there, with Thea and all.” Tom said meekly. “It was a stupid fight, and I guess I’m just sorry you caught the end of it.”

Maybe you’d get to figure out more about it sooner than you thought.

“It seemed like your usual joking banter, just…” you thought, “a different tone.”

He scoffed lightly to himself, “We had been arguing before, and then she invited Nick which just seemed to make things worse.”

“So I’ve figured out,” you chuckled. “But what in the world had the two of you so torn up?”

Tom sighed, pausing to think before saying anything more. He still seemed to have an endless rush of thoughts going through, and you could almost see him trying to figure out which to focus on first. It was like he was trying to be careful with what he said, possibly avoiding any more conflict like before.

“We were just talking about…” he took a long breath in, he seemed nervous.

It was a type of anxiousness you had seen before, though having not yet connected it. He was talking so softly, and there was a light touch of pink across his cheeks. Why had he cared so much about whatever Thea’s father thought, and even about her inviting Nick?

You had known about his crush on her, and maybe that had something to do with it. His nervousness would explain that, and so would his total confusion as to the thing with Nick too.

“Wait,” you were grinning ear to ear. “Did you… did you finally tell her about your crush on her?” If he had, why was she so upset? “How did you manage to fuck that up?”

“I didn’t,” he said quickly. “I didn’t tell her that.”

You frowned, “Oh?”

“No, I…” he licked his lips, “I told her that I liked you.”

What?

Tom was glancing at you, trying to take in your reaction, but you didn’t have much of one. You couldn’t really process what he said, because it was completely out of pocket.

“What… What do you mean?” You turned to him.

“I told her that I like you,” he repeated, as if that would help. “I said I liked you, and that I thought we were a good match. And, I mean, we’ve been getting closer so I thought that maybe…”

“You’re joking,” you shook your head.

“No,” he had a nervous laugh, “I’m not.”

What was he trying to get out of this? Was it some stupid joke? Was it just to mess with you after the song and all with Harry? You wondered if maybe it was some stupid test he was putting you up to before things with Harry went any further, since he was his best friend. Even Tom wasn’t that low of a person, though.

“You’ve got to be joking,” you didn’t know what else to say.

“Would it be so bad if I did like you?” Tom asked, and you swore he already knew the answer.

“You don’t like me.” You shook your head again.

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” you scoffed, “because I know that you like her.” Meaning Thea.

“Maybe I don’t anymore.”

“Tom, be serious.”

“I am being serious,” he glanced over at you, growing annoyed. Of course he had the nerve. “I don’t think I like her anymore.”

“You don’t think?” What was he even saying? “And that’s enough for you? You aren’t even sure if you don’t like her anymore but you’re so sure that you like me?”

“Yes,” he replied, “and it doesn’t matter about her because I know that I like you.”

“Fine, I’ll amuse this.” You turned in your seat to face him, “If you do like me, why? What has made you change from wanting to be with Thea to thinking you want to be with me?”

That was the real issue here. It made no sense, it was coming from absolutely nowhere. There was nothing pointing to the thought that he might like you, and you weren’t sure what you did that would’ve signaled to him that you might like him too.

“Well, for one,” he began carefully, “we’ve been spending more time together--”

“So I could help you get with her.” You clarified. Was his reasoning really that simplistic?

“But being around you just made me realize that it’s you I like.”

No you fucking don’t, Tom.” Running a hand through your hair, you weren’t sure how to react at the moment. “Stop being so stupid.”

“I’m not being stupid,” he shook his head. “Why is it so hard to think I could like you?”

“Because I have literally been helping you to get with my best friend!” You scoffed, “What is about me that is making you be so fucking dumb?”

“I’m not being…” he bit his lip. “Why won’t you just listen to what I’m saying?”

“Because it’s a lie, and you’re not making any sense.” You said simply.

“It is not a lie, why would you think that? Is it…” he glanced over, “is it you think you aren’t good enough?” Was that a serious question? “Or--or is it that you’re afraid to admit anything because of what it might mean?”

There was nothing you had feared to admit to him, because you were comfortable with where your friendship with him stood, or you were before this conversation. Things were easy with him because he was the one from the group that was just like you. You knew that he understood why you were so careful when it came to sharing the truths held deep in your heart, because he had always had the same explanations for himself.

But regardless of his usual understanding, he didn’t seem to understand at all right now. The things he was saying seemed so random, having no evidence to back even a single word out of his mouth. And had he really mistaken your friendship for more? Wasn’t it clear of your intentions with Harry?

“Admit what, Tom?” You had had enough at this point. “Admit that you’re being a selfish prick?”

“No, admit that you actually do have some sort of feelings.” Tom probably thought he was being a genius. “But that’s what would be great with me,” he was backing himself up again, “I don’t want you to be pressured into that sort of thing. I understand how hard it is to be so open with someone, you wouldn’t have to force yourself into change with me.”

“What the hell does that mean?” What was he looking for here?

“We know each other so well, and that’s part of what made me realize how I feel about you.” He moved closer to the edge of his seat, gripping the steering wheel tighter, “Think about it, right? That’s why I was even coming to you about Thea, was because you could understand my feelings already. We don’t have to change how we express them for Thea or Harry, because we already understand each other.”

You knew that he could be an idiot, but was he truly so arrogant?

You didn’t mean to completely dismiss however he was feeling, because for all you knew he really could’ve developed feelings for you, but you really didn’t believe that it was true. If anything, you thought it was just some misinterpretation that he had done with his own emotions.

“What you’re saying is that because we both have the unhealthy coping mechanism of just shutting down we’re suddenly meant to be?” You mockingly nodded, “What a bloody genius you are, Thomas.”

“That’s…” he sighed, feeling more defeated, “no, but… We get each other.”

“And they’re doing their best to get us too.” You fought back, “That’s sort of the entire point of having any relationship with someone, is getting to know who they are. And that’s what I like so much about being with Harry, we’re still learning about each other.”

“Well, yes, but we’re already comfortable with one another in that way.” Why was he still insisting? “Don’t you see how simple it could be for us? We wouldn’t have to make all these huge changes to be with one another. We would already be comfortable in knowing who the other is.”

“I don’t want to be like this for my entire life,” you pleaded, “and I know you don’t either. It’s exhausting, and it’s crappy.” This was something you didn’t think you needed to explain to him. “And Thea always helps me with that, and now Harry is too. It’s not like it’s a bad thing that we’re growing as people because we’re around them.”

“Growth isn’t what I’m trying to talk about, I’m just saying that… you don’t have to force yourself into any change, you know that?” Tom really looked to be concerned.

“If you don’t want to be with Thea anymore can you just say that?” You sighed, “You’d be a fucking idiot for saying it, but it would make things less complicated.”

He scoffed, “Even if I did still like her it wouldn’t matter, she clearly doesn’t like me.”

It finally was feeling like you were getting somewhere with him.

“Why are you saying that?” Had something happened that you didn’t know about? Was that what was upsetting Thea earlier? “Is this what this whole thing is about? Did something happen with her?”

The entire feel of the atmosphere had changed, the sun now hidden behind the clouds. It was as if you were finally asking the questions he was hoping to avoid.

Tom was hesitant to reply, now avoiding looking your way completely. He looked like he hadn’t known what to say but almost as if he was thinking of the perfect response. You knew he might try to lie, or to just take the opportunity to end the conversation then.

Shockingly, he ended up cracking. “I told her that I liked you just before we left, when we were having tea downstairs...” he admitted, “and she hadn’t seemed to care, but you’d think if she did that she would’ve been…” he shook his head, “I don’t know.”

You hadn’t been there for that, obviously, but you already were guessing Thea’s reaction to him telling her that. Why would he even say something so stupid to her? Was he testing to see her reaction? Was it just some dumb teenage boy’s idea to see if she might fight for him? He was disappointingly thick.

“That’s what this all is about?” You questioned. “You stupidly lied about having feelings for me and she was taken back, and you took that immediate chance to just assume the worst?”

“Why do you think it’s a lie?” His voice was low again, giving up on defending himself.

“Because it doesn't make sense, Thomas!” You snapped. “I thought things were going so well, with me and Harry and the song, the-the lipstick, even--”

“What?”

“And I have been helping you, so you could get closer to Thea because that’s who you like, not me, and that was going so beautifully too.” You rubbed your temples, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. “Why are you now saying differently?”

How had you even ended up here? Fighting with Tom about something so petty.

He was being a fool, which he often was anyway. And this wasn’t just you trying to convince yourself that he didn’t like you, though that was definitely occurring as well, but it was that you genuinely didn’t believe it. And maybe you should’ve heard him out more, but the consequences of him saying that wouldn’t affect only him. It was already affecting Thea, and your relationship with the both of them. It begged the question of what else, and who else, this would affect.

“I just thought that if she cared she would have shown it.” He sounded totally defeated, actually taking it all in now. “Because if she did have any sort of feelings, she really fooled me… when I told her that all she could do was go on and on about Harry, and how opposites attract or whatever the fuck, so it was like the final nail in the coffin to me.”

He took a pause, pressing his lips together and sitting back a bit further. Even if he was an idiot, he did seem upset about her reaction. You knew his feelings for Thea were true, and maybe he really hadn’t realized that she liked him too. Thea hadn’t told a soul about her crush on him, she hadn’t even said it to you and you were best friends, but it was easy for you to see how she felt. Tom was hurt, and it seemed confused too.

“So you just spewed out that you liked me?” You asked quietly.

“No, no, I-” he sighed. “I really thought- or think?” He didn’t seem sure. “That I liked you. I guess I was just being stupid, though, right? I was just misreading all the signs, and I assumed far too much.”

You thought for a minute, trying to piece everything together. “Maybe I was just your fallback, since you thought that Thea wasn’t interested.”

Tom thought about it, though he didn’t seem happy about the idea. Who could blame him? It wasn’t exactly a good situation for anyone involved at this point.

“It’s just,” you began again, “what if you only liked me because I was there, I was familiar and I was someone you were comfortable with… and when you thought that Thea might not like you, you needed that familiarity?” You were trying to figure it out for yourself as much as you were for him.

He parked the car, silently taking the keys out as he considered your theory.

“That makes sense, doesn’t it?” You adjusted in your seat again. “That it was just a misunderstanding, because it seemed like a simple solution?”

Tom wasn’t giving you much of a reaction, and you had hoped that meant he was just realizing it too. That had actually made sense, it was a clear explanation to why he was saying everything that he had. It wasn’t out of spite, thought parts were, but it was just a mixup and confusion of his emotions.

“Yeah,” Tom finally said quietly, “that makes sense, I guess.”

He didn’t seem fully convinced, but you’d take what you could get because this was the simple solution to your own problems. It made things less complicated, and maybe it would allow you to clear things up with Thea. You wouldn’t have to worry about what those consequences might entail if what you thought of was true.

“Okay, yeah… great, right?” You nodded to yourself, frantically putting your purse over your shoulder and getting out of the car. “That’ll explain it all, and then things between us don’t have to be weird. And you can tell Thea, right, that it was all just a misunderstanding? You can explain, and you can tell her the truth of it now?”

He was much more quiet now, “Right, of course.”

And that was all you needed, for him to agree with you that it was all just a mistake, a misunderstanding. Because that’s what it had to have been, otherwise it was messing with everyone’s relationships and that wasn’t something that you wanted to deal with losing.

Now it was back to the focus of summer, back to focusing on the warmth of the sun and the calming twist of the breeze. You had your answer, and Tom had realized your truth. You convinced yourself that wasn’t an anxiety you would have to deal with for any longer.

“We should be going in now, to help get things ready.” Before he could say anything else, you went in to quickly distract yourself with any little task.

Knowing your way around the cafe well enough, you helped to set up the tables and such after having a brief conversation with Thea’s grandmother about the night. It was mindless enough work, just to keep you busy until the others arrived too. You wondered how much longer they might be.

Tom was inside now too, sluggishly getting his guitar ready. Had you cut off the conversation too soon? Surely not, how could’ve you? The solution was found, and it was clear as day… and hopefully not as mud.

When the others had finally arrived, you could feel the weight lifting off your chest. You weren’t focused on just Tom anymore, so that anxious aching was fading away. Though, part of you worried about telling the others about what had happened with him. That wasn’t something you could just hide away, was it? Especially not from Harry.

As you silently kept on setting up, Harry came up to talk to you, and that was when all worry seemed truly gone. The memory of earlier was still so warming to your heart, it clouded all other fears. Instead, you could feel those butterflies again, and the evening was brightening once more. Because it was warmer with him, you knew just what to expect.

Things weren’t as complicated as what Tom seemed to think they were between you and Harry, in fact things were so easy. You complimented one another very well, at least that’s what the two of you had thought.

“Oh, before we go on,” Harry smiled and took the lipstick out of his pocket. “I really would like to try some of this lipstick after the show.” He gently closed the tube in your hand, “But maybe I could get the taste from your lips?”

He laid a kiss on your knuckles, giving you a quick wink before going up on the stage to perform. Another smile appeared on your lips as you held the lipstick closer to your chest. It was moments like that that you dreamed of in the summer. That alone opened up so many new doors, and it included opportunities that you couldn’t wait to explore. That was the excitement of summer, even if in the simplest of ways.

You took your seat with Thea and Andrew, and the music began not long after. Thea seemed more relaxed now, and less upset about that entire issue with Tom. In fact, you had noticed her giving him a kiss on the cheek just before he went up on stage, and he now had red lipstick left where he had kissed her. You figured that was a good sign, they must’ve shortly talked things through.

Even Andrew, though he was a bit annoyed when his (rather new) stepbrother arrived, hadn’t let the night be spoiled. Everything was going so shockingly well.

As the music was coming to an end, you went behind the counter of the cafe to find some shirts that you had left there earlier that day. You had finally finished your design for a new logo for Tom and Harry, and you got it printed onto some shirts for them. More positive news for that day, helping to cover up your worries some more.

And when the music did end, you all gathered together in your excitement. Complementing their show, going on about how this one was by far the best show they had had, even if you all said that every single time. And the joy continued when you showed your new design for them, it was Pandora delicately holding a hawkshead flower. Things were so bright again.

Nana gathered you all for a picture together, thinking this might be a moment that all of you might want such a keepsake for. And this was just another day closer to the end of summer, yet for once it didn’t seem that this would all fade with the season.

read Thea’s side here

next chapter

series masterlist

wanna be tagged?

masterlist

taglist: @rayofsunshine-28 @millennial-teenybopper @spideyspeaches @sleepingdancer @sippin-on-tea @imsadsothatswhyidab @countingstarsmylove @obiwanownsmyass @annathesillyfriend​ @saintlavrents​

[ceridwyn2]

This may seem like a stupid (and unpopular with some) question, with AO3, is there a way to filter out some writers in search results? I’m doing a search through a particular fandom (no, not stating which one, as I’ve seen it across more than just one fandom) at the moment, and there is a lot of crap there amongst the good gems. I’m picky when I read fanfic 😅 , and a lot of times I don’t have time to wade through hundreds/thousands of stories to look for the good ones.

By the way, this ended up being a lot longer than I originally intended 😂 as I was thinking it through. What I like in the stories I read as follows:

A) Be grammatically correct

B) Spelling correct

C) Sentence & paragraph structure correct. Dialogue for each character in separate paragraphs.

D) Point of View: maintain one person’s point of view either for the whole scene or whole story. Especially important if stories are written in first person (I/My/Me) or second person (You/Them/They). These stories are often harder to write and maintain throughout well. If it’s first person, you’re only writing from one character’s point of view: on how *I* see/hear/experience the things around *me*. *I* don’t/can’t know what the other characters are thinking/feeling other than what *I* see/observe in their behaviour, unless they tell *me* what they think/feel. Writing in second person is equally difficult to maintain unless you’re very skilled at it. You’re writing as though your addressing the reader/person directly, as if you know them personally, intimately (does not need to be sexually) by using *you*. / Example: You love to write; you should do it more often. / If you’re of a certain age and remember the ‘choose your own adventure’ child/young adult books of the 70s-90s, they were in a person point of view.

Majority of fanfiction, and fiction in general is written in third person. Third person is like you’re the audience watching a tv show/film/play/book. You’re a non-active participant of what is happening and cannot affect the direction or outcome of the story. The primary subject of the scene is referred to by their name or rank and their pronoun(s), and is often the first character mentioned at/near beginning of the scene / Example: DCI Cassie Stewart walked into the incident room of her Historic Cases Unit, with a quick glance at her officers before heading into her office. It wasn’t long before her second in command, DS Sunil Khan, or Sunny, as he preferred, wrapped on the glass window pane of her office door. / That scene is dictated from her point of view, how she directs those around her and how those around her interact with her. Had it been slightly different, but same scenario: /DS Sunil Khan looked up as the door to the Historic Cases Unit opened and saw his boss, DCI Stewart, make her way to her office, glancing at the team as she did. Having got some new leads on their current case overnight, Sunny headed towards her office to notify her ahead of the day’s briefing. / This obviously changes whose point of view is the primary for that scene to Sunil.

Third person It allows the writer to explore different perspectives and viewpoints of different characters to move the story forward. However, that being said, to avoid reader confusion, pick one character - a main character, supporting character, or a villain - as the primary character of that scene and stick with their focus/perspective for the duration of a scene/chapter. If you want to express multiple character’s reactions or points of view to a specific same scene (like say a team of detectives coming onto a murder scene) and if it makes sense to do so, you can write the scenes same but different as each character will have their own take on what they saw/perceived/when they entered/exited the scene - but each character that you’re writing about will have a separate section, separated by punctuation marks, above and below the change of perspective. However, that can easily come across as too repetitive for the reader. Might be best to put that in a notes page each scene of how each sees the same scene - because you as the audience can visualise the characters as being there, when they arrived and what they observed. When you write the scene, write it from one character’s point of view, but as you have the other characters interacting with them, they can comment on what they saw observed, contributing to the overall pieces of information, without repetition, unless it contradicts or adds to a specific point being made.

E) Age correlateable. By which I mean, if someone’s going to write about established characters that are in their 40s, 50s, etc., their life experiences, maturity, have them act/respond to each other as such. I have read stories - or rather attempted to - but the mental maturity of the author was showing through characters in their 40s, 50s, and it was obvious the writer hasn’t grasped that maturity of the characters. Listen to the character’s voices (what they’re saying, how they’re saying, even what they’re not saying but expressing visually) you’re writing about. This really comes out when writing arguments and sex scenes, btw.

F) Physical/mental characteristics: If a character has an illness or physical disability, or like affecting joints or paralysed limbs, amputations, or anything that affects movement, be aware of that, esp if writing a sex scene (a whole other rabbit hole of bad writing exists there, see next item). If in an argument, you’re trying to express the character throwing something in anger, like a mug/glass, etc., for example, and the character has an injured/disabled arm, their strength to throw is going to be limited. Show the character’s frustration that the action they wanted had less effect at releasing that anger/frustration. If the character has a visual (partial or full blindness) or auditory disability (eg. hard of hearing, deafness in one or both ears, over-sensitive to sound/volume), take that into account. Esp in arguments, if one of the people in the scene has a tendency to mumble, they may not be understood as words run together are not easily decipherable either by sound or lip reading. Mental health /illness (eg PTSD /complex PTSD [cPTSD], depression, anxiety affects physical health responses. If the characters have mental health disorders, be aware and maintain that continuity through the story. Don’t need to mention it all the time but be aware it can affect movement/physical responses, behaviour. And unless you’re House, you don’t need to include every odd, weird, very rare symptom he seems to need to diagnose something for the character 😂 .

G) Sex scenes: some are done so well that it’s seamless and flows well with the other parts of the story, where the intimacy blends well. Others, very much no so. Unless it’s a specifically written PWP (plot, what plot) story, and those can work when written well. Trust me, I’ve read otherwise well-written stories ruined by a sex scene that reads like a bad porn with characters that otherwise had physical limitation(s) in the rest of the story but were suddenly able to pull off manoeuvres of someone 20 years younger and fully able-bodied. Like someone just tacked on an explicit sex scene on that didn’t mesh with the story as if they were two completely different people that happened to have the same names as the ones in the rest of the story.

H) Continuity. Whether your story is short or long, be aware of where your characters are/what they’re doing. Having a sense of timing. Helpful to have a notepad (digital or paper) sometimes to keep track of movement. They can’t be in two concurrent scenes at the same time. Passing off information between the characters; don’t assume one character (or group of characters) knows what the other(s) are doing, unless they are in contact with each other (visual/audio/both/text). Cause/effect. Action/reaction. There may be delayed effects or reactions (over scenes/chapters), but reference them back to the original cause or action and why there was a delay. For example, somebody witnesses or experiences a tragedy, war, fire, sexual assault, accident, or other traumatic experience, and it triggers a delayed emotional or physical response hours, days, months, years later. The character may or may not be able to explain to their partner, colleague, friend what it was that caused effect/reaction. Similarly, following onto earlier example of a thrown glass/mug/vase, if it smashes there could be subsequent injury from ceramic/glass/etc. like a cut finger/palm of hand if picking up the pieces/cleaning the mess. So maybe it requires a bandage or wrap. Continuity would include making further grasping of things discomforting or painful, maybe a comment from another person inquiring what happened later on if they’re noticing a bandage that wasn’t there the last time they saw them.

I) Alternate Universe stories. I don’t mind AUs when done right - so that even if the characters are placed in a different setting, their general personality traits are very recognizable. I’ve read quite a few that nail this perfectly. Others, not so much. When it works, it works. Otherwise it’s just slapping familiar names onto original fic just to get more eyes on a story.

[pokedash55]

Ninjobservation #2

Analyzing the Elemental Alliance as a group and uncovering the real reason the Time twins (Twims for short) were "traitors"

So I have rewatched Hands of Time for the 3rd time this past year and Me and my sister Purplefern (She has a ton of good Twims fics on Ao3 ^^) have learned a lot about the old elemental alliance (EA).

THE CLAIM

The EA were a strong clique that did not appreciate the Twim's general attitudes and personalities. Chen saw the growing discourse and manipulated both sides into turning on each other.

[[They be judgin' (””art”” by me) ]]

To start let’s look at all the Leaders of this Alliance

Wu

Wu back before his eventual growth with the ninja was a strict teacher. Morro ran away due to his inability to understand his problems (problems he may have caused with his teachings). He is generally harsh towards the Ninja in season 1, forcing them to train all day because they simply talked during his lesson ("Never trust a snake").

Due to being the son of the FSM he put pressure on himself to always be virtuous and leaderlike (believes he has to uphold order) and he takes this believed expectation of authority to heart. He is no nonsense, yelling at Libber (the Master of Lightning) for simply talking slightly off topic before an important battle. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, according to his own moral standards and does not waver on what he believes is in/appropriate.

Garmadon

Although less righteous than Wu, joining the alliance after the war began, he has also been seen as a strict and serious teacher. Because of the growing venom in his blood I'd argue he was even more strict, less in attitude but more in general rules of law and order. We see in Rebooted that Garmadon set strict rules for himself like "no weapons" to keep his destructive side in check and we know that Young Garmadon is so sensitive to rules as he claims that even reading another's mail is a crime. He joined as a leader and most likely upheld rules not just for the alliance but for his own sake.

Ray and Maya

We see little of them but they are both good friends- and Ray appears to be the right hand man-- of Wu They are such good friends that Ray is the one trusted with the Map to the Golden Weapons. From his tone and diction he seems very dogmatic and if he's anything like Kai, he's quick to assumptions and to attack people who he perceives as bad according to his own strict principles. He just feels like a stuffy guy. I don't have much on Maya but she's a good people person so she gets along with the others really well. Also she married Ray, so that has to say something. They both went along with the Time Blade plan.

Other Elemental observations

 Except for Libber (Lighting), all the Masters are older than the Time twins. (Krux can fight in S7 so he's not older than 70. They are most likely mid to late twenty's during the war)

 The EA is a pre-established group (Garmadon refers to them like they are a pre-existing entity in ToE flashbacks). They were two confident and arrogent twenty year olds strolling into a pre-established clique of old honorable fighters during a war. Not the best time for bonding.

 Ice feels very much like Wu and Garmadon, considering he gave his powers to an analytical robot like Zane is saying a lot about him. He most likely does not tolerate "shenanigans", especially during a war.

They battle in a tight group

Krux and Acronix

These two act like they don't belong in the group. During the party celebrating the end of the war they are seen standing away from the rest and are genuinely happy to be recognized by Wu for their efforts. Although retcon, the two are not seen battling with the rest of the group. They instead most likely are so powerful (and impulsive and difficult to work with) that they are sent on duo missions to protect villages (They are also not the best followers).

It's also a nice parallel to our ninja in ToE. They stuck together like a family and were disliked and excluded from the rest of the EM's. The same could be said for The Twims since they always fought together and were similarly excluded.

Krux

Krux is a planner and a sassy dude. He’s stubborn and will tell people they are wrong to their face. The 16 personalities that matches him best is INTJ (the Architect). This analytical type hates people who are who they consider idiotic, do not participate in formalities, and are aggravated by heavy rules and restrictions made by someone else, especially someone they do not respect (which is most people).

Although we do not see him much as a young man we know that he is prone to grudges and will resort to less kind methods in sake for the means to an end. Definitely not someone Wu and Garmadon would like since they are trying to uphold order and keep a chain of command. But Krux believes in his own plans and his own chain of command. He is not good at small talk and would mostly stick with his brother during group events like meetings and parties, so in general his terrible social skills probably made him pretty unliked.

Acronix

Acronix is quick witted and heavily proud of himself. He won’t admit he is wrong and is very loud in general. This may be a side tangent but Acronix may have ADHD, which would not be understood back in the day and people would regard him as annoying or rude.

EVIDENCE FOR ADHD

-He is shown to stand in a position that suggests hand fidgeting (A LOT)

-Quick to anger over minuscule details

-yeah he's distractible but he's also quick to move through ideas/activities

-impulsive

- During their important battle back in time his attention is on the pretty fusion dragon flying around instead of listening to Kruxs plan of attack.

-His attention shifts to the destiny's bounty and he toys with the ninja despite saying right before he couldn't stay and fight Wu cause he had to meet up with Krux.

- in general he is constantly shifting from idea to idea, oftentimes leaving his original plans completely un-finished

He could have trouble paying attention to meetings and with his bond with Krux and tendency to quick action he would choose his brother's plan and strike independently rather than following whatever Wu is doing. This leads them to fight beside each other alone instead of with the main group, making the elemental alliance think they believe to be better than them. 

In terms of Personality types he’s a hardcore ESTP (Entrepreneur). Like his brother, they are free analytical thinkers who do not respect higher authority simply because they claim to be the leaders and hate rules and regulations getting in the way of their progress. He says what's on his minds regardless of feelings and will defend his opinions despite others sensitivities. He is perceptive enough to pick up on small changes and habits but he is quick to share that knowledge (usually in a snarky remark). I doubt the alliance appreciates what he has to say when he’s blabbering about everything in such a rude tone.

MOE

Now this all may start to look like a silly “Hands of time did nothing wrong” theory. But there is a key factor in this that not many people talk about. The previous Master of Earth (or Moe for short).

We know that Chen manipulated Moe into turning against the alliance so it was not technically his fault. Chen could’ve said that because the serpentine rose from the earth he was entitled to fight for them. Heck he could’ve been 100% hypnotized by Clouse’s dark magic (His eyes were not swirly so it was not hypnobrai like is suggested in WOTD). He is most likely some lovable dummy who was easily swayed and a kind person to apologize once the truth about Chen is revealed (considering that he’s Cole’s grandfather). Moe as a person is fine. What is sketchy is Moe being easily forgiven and allowed into the alliance despite turning on all of HUMANITY. What he did could’ve hurt way more people. He fought with the snakes and attacked innocent people and powerless soldiers (like the rice farmers) and was off scott free! The Twims only fought the elemental alliance and Wu and Garmadon at the monastery. Not nearly as destructive.

They figured out that Chen made the alliance turn on each other after the war and forgave Moe for that, but isn't it strange that they never gave the Time Twins that same benefit of the doubt? We know from “Way of the departed” and general logic that Chen and Clouse helped tip them over the edge. Whether you believe this to be canon or not is irrelevant because if the EA knew that Chen was involved once why would they not assume he was with the time twins too? Seems like they already disliked the two and were just ready for a reason to punish them. All flashbacks we get are told from unreliable sources like Wu and Ray (who both were enthusiastically the ones planning to strip them of their powers.) Speaking of, let’s analyze this example of their “betrayal” shall we?

THE BATTLE IN QUESTION

This is the flashback we get of them fighting against the alliance. The first time you watch it all you really know is that they are fighting against the EA, when Wu is describing their arrogance and the danger of their powers. How evil right? To attack their companions like that? But there is a lot wrong with how Wu phrases the fight and how it actually goes down.

They have Bamboo staffs.

A weapon that is primarily defensive and not a good weapon of choice for a planned ambush or assault. They are non lethal weapons. And Acronix is said on LEGO.com to be quick to learn any weapon so someone as adaptable as he is would not intentionally bring something so weak to a fight unless he had been forced to improvise.

Always on the defensive.

Someone as tactical as Krux and skilled as Acronix would never let themselves be on the defensive like this if they had the first blow. We see that Ray has the first attack in the flashback. Although Acronix is known to jump in without thinking he has his brother who would not just go into a fight just to lose. And even if they did end up on the defensive after having the first strike Acronix has his powers. He would’ve brought both of them out of a situation if things got too hard (which he is known to do in battles HE starts). But they clearly did not start this battle.

They are surrounded.

These two guys with nothing but staffs are encircled? Krux as a planner and Acronix as a quick witted warrior would never let themsleves get into that position if it had been a battle that they had started and had been planning to win. This framing makes it feel like they are being ganged up on.

In a remote location.

The battle takes place on a gravel road no where near a major city. If they wanted to take over wouldn’t they strike somewhere more populated? And if they were attacking the EA...they would have attacked the EA directly. They were probably just walking and talking and got ambushed.

Chen?

Very possible that Chen sent an “anonymous” note to the EA telling them of the Twims plans to attack. They are arrogant, have openly hated Wu’s leadership, and don’t gel with the group so of course they would take a tip like that and attack someone they don’t like. It’s possible they had ideas of taking over the EA but the world seems a bit out of their morality range until provoked.

Now that they have been attacked the two form a real plan to overthrow these fools who don’t like them and have unfairly attacked them (just like Chen had been telling them they were likely to do). They bring real weapons (swords) to an important location (the Monastery) to fight the specific people they do not like (Wu and Garmadon).

The Punishment

Ok so these powerful elemental masters are going to attack the EA. They were once allies and they are too powerful to defeat with their powers. If only there was a way to temporarily suspend their powers so they could talk this out and have an understanding of each other and perhaps uncover Master Chen's involvement-- since the Hands of Time were semi-sensible war heroes who were the sons of a previous master of time who presumably responsibly used the element without issue (and was most likely a samurai since Krux says their helmets are samurai helmets)... sigh too bad there is not such a material… oh wait.

WHAT ABOUT VENGESTONE???

These fools really decided that destroying an important element forever, and violently ripping it out of its users was the only option? There were generations of time elementals before them that had the element. They could throw vengestone nets at them or fight until they get knocked out and then vengestone cage them. But they don’t want to know why they betrayed the alliance. It was not because the element was too dangerous. It was not because they had to strip them of their powers (cause there are less lethal ways of doing so). They just did not give these two any mercy.

CONCLUSION

The Time twins are hard to work with and stuck together no matter what. The alliance is very strict and dogmatic which both Krux and Acronix would hate being trapped in their day to day alliance meetings and group mentality. Chen used their egos and their exclusion to his benefit to keep the fight going after he was banished and sent a letter to start up conflict with the EA. The EA did not like the Twims so they were ruthless and did not give them the same mercy they did for Moe (They also are not Elements of Creation. Wu would do anything to protect the main 4 but he’ll punish these punks). 

[quidfree]

just screamed over your fem todobaku it was endlessly entertaining and I’m sure to be rereading it every two weeks from now on... the way katsuki pieces things together and the absurd setting is everything I wanted and more TT!!! For prompts.. tdbk’s relationship in the eyes of their classmates? That moment in a prev fic where momo is like yeah I’m with jirou now 🤗n then tdrk goes oh me too but w bkg is forever embedded into my brain lmfaooo like what does everyone make of this insane pair

pftttttt glad it fulfilled your expectations anon i love writing half-serious todobaku pieces where they are still 50/50 strategic geniuses and emotional morons as per canon but the setting is increasingly absurd. i don't know what the context was for giant deku in that sketch but the visual was too good. date-crasher deku at it again.

as for ur prompt i do love the concept bc i live for third party pov content but i would find it v hard to get done in the prompt format bc 1) honestly a lot of the 1A students (etc) don’t have very defined personalities lol and 2) when it comes to those who do i have too much to say to do this in an hour. however i can give you some bulletpoint summaries of the BNOCs (and if you have any specific niche classmates whose take you want do let me know). with that being said...

kirishima: forever and always a supportive bestie and thus leader of the todobaku fanclub. i mean just read my fic yknow. 1000% called it on bakugous side first (and/or bakugou told him) and has been enthusiastically supportive ever since. hes a big ol romantic really and also unironically thinks todobaku is the manliest of pairings (and totally made for each other, bro!!) so hes beyond stoked when they do get together. hes one of their most comfy third wheels bc he and bakugou r very close and he and todoroki r also good friends so no one is like on uncomfortable/uneven footing and hes unfazed by the ups and downs of their relationship bc hes used to both of their antics. the secret-keeper.

i don’t have enough separate intel on the rest of the bakusquad but they’re 1) completely thrown by the revelation that after years of wheedling and trying to set bakugou up into surprise dates he is not in fact ‘work-sexual’, and to top this off is actually into todoroki of all people 2) obnoxiously supportive, as you would expect. secretly they’re all kind of defensive of bakugou’s fragile heart (citation needed) and so nervous about how the whole thing is gonna work out but when it becomes apparent todoroki does not have better sense they relax and just become excessively nosy. like to complain that bakugou and todoroki weren’t content dominating their year academically and professionally they also had to steal out 2 of the country’s most eligible bachelors, the selfish bastards.

camie: second leader of the todobaku fanclub, idc. clocks it ahead of literally anyone else in their friend group bc she just, like, got that vibe, you know? theres a multitude of equally blunt and inappropriate ways in which she addresses this vibe (calling them out in person when theyre years away from it, trying to not especially artfully orchestrate a get-together, etc) and they are all very unsuccessful. shes ‘lowkey mad bakugou stole her potential man’ but ‘finders keepers’ so once they’re past that she’s all for it since she correctly thinks they r freaks best suited to e/o and also honestly probably thinks bl is cute or something. todoroki and bakugou both endure her encouragement very long-sufferingly. big double dater energy.

yaoyorozu: not at all in the first to clock gang, bc honestly the idea she has of todoroki is still a lil idealized/inaccurate and certainly does not involve dating bakugou; the initial reveal is inevitably delivered very casually to her as she scrambles for a polite reaction. she’s kind of wary of the whole thing at face value but close scrutiny leads her to conclude they’re actually not-terrible together. upon reaching this conclusion she begins making earnest overtures towards a very confused bakugou bc she figures she may as well make the effort to get to know him better. i always hc her as having had a crush of some variety on todoroki at some point so theres probs a bit of wistfulness involved and also a far larger ‘nvm dodged that bullet’ energy bc todobaku r romantically a mess and a half. to her despair she is extremely weak to camie’s todobaku gossip.

uraraka: to everyone’s vague bewilderment, a secret todobaku stan from the get-go. you could say this is bc it leaves deku solidly open but honestly she just has similarly odd friendships with todoroki and bakugou and it’s like a persistent guilty thought of hers that they’re kind of well-suited somehow. she often tells todoroki he can do better just to wind bakugou up but would be the first to take bakugou’s side if he actually did. she really enjoys them together bc she finds somehow they’re easier to tease- it humanizes them both further to be weak to dumb emotions. she plays counsellor sometimes but like subtly bc she knows better than to give outright advice.

iida: completely blindsided by the information, also spends several months in the grips of insomnia convinced that both their friend group and japan are doomed given the inevitable dramatic breakup. then he spends a singular day hanging around them at work or something and realises that his imagined version of them as a couple was in fact completely off-base bc they’re just overly intense workaholics who are too single-focused to ever bother splitting up. also top 1 most likely friend to launch into a completely sincere defense of them and their relationship in response to like the laziest off-color paparazzi bait comment.

midoriya: where to begin honestly. he def gets weird vibes from them throughout the whole usual melodrama but 200% does not come to the right conclusions. when he finally gets the news broken to him (never gently) his brain breaks a little. it’s mainly the bakugou element bc kacchan is.. kacchan and like.. not necessarily fundamentally someone midoriya has ever imagined harboring human interest in another living person. also todoroki in a parallel way has always struck him as resoundingly disinterested in relationships mainly bc hes kind of above them. of course once he sets to theorising he can connect some dots to bakugous various jealousies over the years and also todorokis pretty open staring and wow he is not very good at connecting dots actually. anyways once he recovers from the shock i think theres a variety of ways in which he takes it bc honestly it is very weird that his best friend and his .. closest friend (?) who have always primarily interacted through or due to him now have this competing private relationship. regardless obv he is intensely supportive in like, the typical kind of overbearing midoriya way. i sometimes make it so its just one of those things that everyones cool with but also the details will always be something midoriya and bakugou do not want midoriya to know bc Awkward, vs other times i make him super cool w it to the extent that hes just overenthusiastic and todorokis all oh. sure. thanks :) while bakugou loses his shit. he does genuinely think they’re a really good fit upon reflexion, and since he’s best suited to knowing why he’s p much always correct in his assessments. its one of those things where each duo in the trio has the capacity of playing up the subject matter to the third party’s detriment, tho when todoroki is the third party he’s less embarrassed by bakudeku’s todobaku discourse and more enduring their various bizarre friendship rituals + the serious physical damage they usually precede.

also aizawa clocks them first and is like oh god please no this is going to take at least 5 years to implode and will age me 10 years in the process

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Eggpocalypse

Part One: Crimson Morning

A DreamSMP Fic

A/N: Hey guys I’m writing a DSMP fic :D Why? Because I had an idea that I thought was cool. If you find this fic but aren’t familiar with me, hello, welcome *waves* This will be the only DSMP fic I write, but it’s gonna be a long multi-chapter thing like all my other fics in my main community. If you know me for my other stuff, hello to you too. Feel free to read if you want ^-^ Either way, I hope you all enjoy this! It’s been like...months in the making jsafkh

Brief Summary: Everyone wakes up one morning to find the Greater SMP area is overrun with crimson. The vines attack people, and a small group manages to take shelter...for now.

=====================

Tommy woke up to the faint feeling of something tickling his face. What was that? Well, it didn’t matter. He was trying to sleep. Without opening his eyes, he slapped at the tickling object and rolled over. Only a few seconds later, however, the tickling was back. He buried his face in the pillow, but it kept brushing against his ear. Now thoroughly annoyed, he rolled onto his back and blinked open his eyes, ready to snap at whoever was pulling some sort of prank on him.

Except instead of seeing someone’s face—or anything familiar at all—he saw a lot of red. What? No, that made sense, didn’t it? He fell asleep in the hotel, and it was red. Except...there was way too much of it. He rubbed his eyes to clear the sleep away, and—

“Holy shit!” Tommy bolted upright. “Holy fuck!”

The entire room was filled with red vines.

“No no no no no you can’t be in here!” Tommy threw away the blankets and stood up, tripping over something as he got out of bed. He looked down to see he’d nearly fallen over one of the vines. “Oh fuck, they’re everywhere!” They were covering the windows, snaking across the floor, dangling from the ceiling. And worse, they were moving.

One of the smaller vines dangling from the ceiling wriggled closer to him, drifting across his face. Tommy jerks back. “Don’t touch me, bitch!” He hit the vine, knocking it back, but felt something on his ankle. Looking down again, he yelped as the vine he’d nearly tripped over started wrapping around his leg. And there were more coming, moving snakelike across the floor.

He had to get out of here, before they overwhelmed him. He spun around. The balcony entrance was completely blocked by thick vines, as big around as a tree, and the windows were similarly covered, leaving the room dim as they blocked sunlight from outside. So he couldn’t jump out that way. That only left the ladder chute to the suite. And the larger vines were slowly creeping to cover that as well.

No time to waste! Tommy grabbed his items from the chest by the bed and sprinted across the room. The vines on the floor tripped him up, but he made it just in time to duck under the larger vines and make it to the ladders. He grabbed one of the rungs and started to descend...but froze.

Vines were criss-crossing the ladders, blocking his way down. As he stared, shocked, they stopped wriggling aimlessly and started creeping slowly towards him. “Hey! Back off!” He kicked the nearest tendrils off the ladders, but they recovered quickly and continued to inch closer.

Okay, there had to be a way around this. Maybe he could climb down while fighting them off. Or...there was a small spot that was clear of vines. He could see the distant floor of the hotel lobby down below. At least, he hoped that was the red of the hotel lobby and not the red of more vines. He had a water bucket on him. He could—but if he missed, he’d be dead. Like, dead dead. Forever.

Then the thick vines above him trembled. And they heaved from their position, darting forward with surprising speed.

“Oh fuck this,” Tommy gasped, and let go of the ladder.

The ground approached swiftly. Acting fast, he pulled out the water bucket and poured it—landing with a splash in the resulting puddle just in time. He didn’t even have time to celebrate the success. Because the hotel lobby was even more crowded with vines than the rooms above. They blanketed the floor, dripped from the walls, all gradually encroaching further into the building. The windows were covered, and so were the front doors. Tommy froze again, eyes darting around the room. And soon, the vines noticed him as well, and all of them slithered towards him.

“Tommy! Are you in there?!”

A voice?! Coming from outside. It sounded like—“Puffy, is that you?” Tommy called, taking out his sword.

“Okay, you’re in there! Thank fuck. Hang on!”

A few seconds later, part of the vines covering the door fell away, letting sunlight into the darkened room. He could see the form of two people, and a hand reached inside. “C’mon, we’ll get you out!” Puffy called.

“Oh you fucking better!” Tommy swung his sword at the nearest vines, knocking them back but not slicing into them. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so rude, I’m just under a lot of pressure right now. How’d these even get in here?!” He started walking towards the door, struggling against the vines that were grabbing onto his legs, trying to drag him backwards.

“I don’t know, maybe through the door?” Another chunk of the door-blocking vines fell away, revealing Puffy’s face. “Or it looks like some of the windows are broken.”

“They broke the windows to my hotel?! Dickheads.” Tommy attacked the vines with his sword again, using it more to beat them away than to cut them. Some of the ones from the ceiling were reaching out for him. He punched them away with his free hand.

“I know, right? Just inconsiderate.” Puffy briefly disappeared. The big vines blocking the door were moving, pressing together to try and close the opening. But there was a flash of purple enchantment glow, and they were hacked away again. “You gotta hurry, Tommy, they’re moving fast!”

“I’m coming, alright!” Yanking one foot free of the vine’s grip, he ran the last few steps to the doorway.

Puffy turned to the side to look at something out of sight. “Can you hold the vines back while I pull him out?” A pause. Then she nodded and turned back. “C’mon, Tommy, grab on,” she said, reaching inside.

“Got it.” Tommy snatched her offered hand, squeezing tight.

“I’m gonna pull on three. One...two...three!” Puffy pulled, but the vines struck again, a few suddenly darting forward to wrap around Tommy’s waist.

Tommy yelled. “Holy shit they’re grabbing me! They’re pulling me, it’s just like quick sand!”

“It’s okay, we’re getting you out,” Puffy said determinedly. She leaned forward through the opening in the vines, wrapping her arms around Tommy’s torso. Then she looked back. “Help me on three! One...two...three!”

With a mighty heave, Tommy was pulled from the grasp of the vines, landing on the ground outside the hotel. Immediately, he scrambled to his feet. “What the fuck?!”

“Tommy, Tommy, are you okay?!” Puffy looked him over, patting for injuries. Her red coat was hidden beneath netherite armor, her horns sticking out from under a helmet.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Tommy waved her aside.

<Are you sure you are alright, TommyInnit?>

Tommy looked over to where the familiar sounds had come from. “Yeah, I’m sure, Sam Nook.”

Sam Nook nodded. He was holding an enchanted netherite hoe in one hand. Clearly, he’d been the one helping Puffy to rescue him. <I am glad you are alright, TommyInnit.>

“Yeah, so am I, but what the fuck is going on?!”

“Walk a little bit this way, onto the Prime Path, they tend to avoid that,” Puffy said, shuffling to the left.

“I—okay?” Tommy and Sam Nook followed her lead, and it was only then that Tommy noticed the situation around them.

The vines. They were everywhere, crawling through the grass, climbing up trees and the sides of hills. He’d seen them in spots across the SMP, but they’d never been here before. Now, his house’s entrance was blocked off by vines, the crops in his farm uprooted, his fences hidden beneath crimson tendrils.

“I thought you’d be inside your house,” Puffy said, looking back at the blocked entrance. “I was so freaked out before Sam Nook told me you’d slept in the hotel. What were you doing in there anyway?”

“Well I thought I’d break it in, you know, try it out. It seemed right to do it the night before I visited—” Tommy stopped. “Anyway. How the hell did this happen?!”

“I don’t know, they started to spread overnight!” Puffy defended.

“They’re moving, do you see that?” Tommy pointed into the vines. Every single one was moving, even if only a bit, ranging from tightening around what they were holding to slithering across the ground. “It’s like a bunch of worms, has that happened before?”

“No, it hasn’t! They’re all across the greater SMP area, it’s all covered—well, most of it. They don’t like the Prime Path, I mean they’ll touch it if they have to, but generally—” She let out a huff of air. “They’re all the way out here and beyond.” Glancing down at the sword in Tommy’s hand, she asked, “Do you have a hoe?”

“Well I mean—” Tommy stammered for a moment. “Hrmmm I have quite a lot of hoes, but I don't think this is the time to ask about that, Puffy.”

Under other circumstances, Puffy would’ve laughed. She would have joined in on the joke, or at the very least smiled at it. The fact that her face remained serious showed how grave the situation really was. “Here, take a hoe.” She handed him a diamond hoe. “They do the most damage to these things.”

Tommy took it, then looked back and forth between Puffy and Sam Nook. “Well...what do we do now?”

“For now, you need to get to the Holy Land,” Puffy said. “They don’t go in there.”

“Wait, just me?!” Tommy asked.

“I’m sorry, Tommy, but there are more people out here,” Puffy said regretfully. “Not many, but a few. And I need to find Sam. I think he was at the prison, and I-I don’t know if it’s gotten that far but I need to check—”

“Well why don’t I just stay with the hotel, then?” Tommy suggested, gesturing back to the vine-covered building.

“What? Tommy, look at it! The vines have fucked it!”

“I know that! But it’s—it’s like—” Tommy struggled to find the words for a moment. “It’s my hotel! I did all this to put it together, went on a million fuckton of fetch quests, it’s a—it’s a good place, Puffy, I can’t just leave it behind.”

<Worry not, TommyInnit,> Sam Nook finally spoke again. <I can stay and protect the Big Innit Hotel.>

“Sam—Sam, no, I-I can’t ask you to do that!” Tommy protested. “You’re like—you’re all—what if something happened to you?”

<Nothing will happen to me, TommyInnit,> Sam Nook said with a smile. <I will make sure of it. The crimson will not touch the hotel.>

“But—Sam, you—”

<My job is to help with the hotel. I can stay here. It is important to me that you follow Puffy’s directions and stay safe.>

Tommy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay. Okay. You—you’d better be here when I get back, Sam Nook. I’m counting on you.”

<I will not let you down, TommyInnit,> Sam Nook promised.

“Yeah, you—I’ll—yeah.” Tommy nodded, and looked back at Puffy. “Okay, I’ll head to the Holy Land. I’ll beat the fuck out of any vines that get close to me.” He waved the hoe demonstratively.

“Be careful, Tommy,” Puffy warned. “Don’t let any of them grab you.”

“I won’t. Oh trust me, I have experience in—in beating back bitches with hoes.” He sort of regretted saying that halfway through, but he finished it anyway.

That got a bit of a smile out of Puffy, though. “I’ll be there soon. There should be a whole bunch of people there already.” She took out an enchanted netherite hoe of her own, matching Sam Nook’s, and slowly backed away. “Be careful, okay Tommy?”

“You said that already. And I will be.” Tommy turned to go. “I’ll see you in the Subs!” And he started running down the Path.

=====================

Puffy wasn’t exaggerating when she said the vines were everywhere. As Tommy ran, he saw vines crawling across every surface. The areas that had been covered before were practically solid red with how much they were covered now, and the areas that had been free were gradually disappearing under the crimson sea. The vines usually moved slowly, but every so often they’d dart forward in a burst of speed. He had to stop every so often to fight them back with the diamond hoe Puffy had given him.

He wasn’t the only one out in this chaos, either. He could see people—normal citizens of the SMP—fighting back against tendrils trying to attack them. Very ineffectively, most of the time. People were shouting and screaming as the vines wrapped around them. But not all of them were fighting back. Some of them were just standing there. Staring at the vines. Entranced. And that was even worse.

“Holy shit,” Tommy said to himself. He stopped in his tracks, overwhelmed. Should he do something to help?

Then a few arm-sized vines lunged forward and started grabbing at his ankles.

Crying out, he swung the hoe downwards, chopping off the ends of the vines. He instantly started sprinting again. There were too many people and not enough time! But...he had to do something.

He managed to make it through the shopping centre, the vines getting thicker as he went. It wasn’t that far now. If he could just go a little faster! The vines seemed to know he was here, and were becoming more active as he passed by.

Someone yelled something nearby. It was almost lost in the rest of the cries, but Tommy paused. He recognized that voice. Slowing down, but not stopping, he glanced around for the source of the shout, and saw a pair of familiar faces.

“Sapnap? Big Q?” Now he stopped, hopping in place to make it more difficult for the vines to grab him.

Neither of them noticed him. They were too busy fending off the vines. One of the bigger ones had wrapped around Quackity’s torso, pinning one of his arms. It had knocked him to the ground, where he was struggling to get to his feet again. Sapnap was trying to pull him away from the vine’s grasp, gripping his arm with one hand. There was an axe in his other hand, and he swung weakly at the vine, doing no damage.

Tommy hesitated. Then: “Ah, fuck it.” And he jumped off the Path, running towards the pair and quickly closing the short distance. “Sapnap! Big Q! Hang on!”

“What the—?!” Sapnap looked up as Tommy came running in, absolutely surprised.

“Here, I’ll chop it up, you pull,” Tommy said. Without waiting for confirmation, he raised the hoe over his head and brought it down on the vine, making sure not to aim too close to Quackity. The diamond tool took a large chunk out of the vine, which wriggled like it was in pain. Tommy kept going until he broke the vine, severing it.

Sapnap caught on in time, pulling Quackity away from the remaining part of the vine. He helped him to his feet, and the three of them retreated to the Prime Path.

“Jesus fuck, this is insane!” Tommy said, throwing away the bit of vine he’d accidentally collected upon breaking it. “Are you two alright?”

“Tommy, what are you doing here?” Sapnap asked, a split second before Quackity shouted, “Tommy what the fuck are you doing here?!”

“Oh, well, you know I just saved your lives, you could say thank you,” Tommy commented. “But whatever. Listen, we need to get to the Subs, it’ll be safer there.”

“How much safer are we talking about? ‘Cause I don’t want to deal with this shit ever again.” Quackity pulled his arm free of the vine—unmoving now that it was severed—then unwound it from around him and threw it into the distance.

“It’s—look to be honest, I haven’t seen it, but Puffy told me to go there so that’s where I’m going,” Tommy explained. “She says this shit is avoiding the area so—what are you wearing, by the way?” The last time he’d seen Quackity, he was wearing his usual blue jacket and black pants. Now he had suspenders and a tie on. “Actually, nevermind, that doesn’t matter, are you coming?”

Sapnap and Quackity glanced at each other. “Yeah,” Sapnap said. “I mean, there’s not really anything else we can do now.”

“Exactly! Now come on! If either of you have hoes, now’s the time to get them out, they’re the things to cut through this.”

They set off sprinting down the Path. Soon, they passed by the UFO, now covered in vines that dangled from the edge down to the ground, and came close to the Holy Land. But instead of seeing the buildings in the distance, there was just—

“Is that a wall?” Quackity asked.

Indeed, someone had built a wall around the Holy Land. It was about ten blocks tall, much taller than any of them, and made of a bunch of different materials. Wood, cobblestone, stone bricks, a couple bits of obsidian. It looked like it had been smashed together from whatever someone had on them. The blood-colored vines were squirming around the base of the wall, but not touching it.

“Uh—hello?” Tommy called once they were in earshot. “Anyone in there?”

Someone appeared from behind the top of the wall, leaning down to look at them. Red and blue lenses reflected the light. “Tommy?”

“Jack!” Tommy looked up at him. “Did you build this?!”

“Uh, well it wasn’t just me, it was a bunch of different people.” Jack Manifold turned to glance back down at the ground on his side of the wall. “But yeah.”

“Well can you let us in, then?!” Tommy asked. He kicked away some of the vines on the ground that were trying to grab his feet.

“Uh—no, no I can’t, actually,” Jack said.

“What do you mean you can’t?!” Tommy repeated.

“Well if we take down the wall then the vines could get inside.”

“Yeah, and so could we!”

“Sorry, can’t risk it.” Jack shrugged. “I think you’ll have to stay out there.”

“This is ridiculous,” Sapnap said, pulling out his axe again.

“Yeah, we can just break in,” Quackity agreed, similarly taking out a pickaxe.

“Uh wait—” Jack Manifold started to say.

Too late. Sapnap and Quackity had already knocked holes in the wall and disappeared inside. Tommy quickly darted through as well before they could block the holes back up again.

The Holy Land was crimson-free, but crowded. SMP citizens of all sorts had crammed into the area before the walls went up, and were now standing around, some talking, others just silent. The vines outside inched closer to the new holes in the wall, but stopped just before reaching them, recoiling back. Sapnap quickly filled in the holes with cobblestone.

“What are you doing?!” Jack Manifold dropped down from the wall, wincing a bit at the impact from the fall. “You could have let them in!”

“Well we didn’t, did we?!” Tommy retorted.

“That’s not the point, what if they had got in?!”

“You know, they didn’t really look like they were coming in,” Quackity pointed out. “Tommy, what was it you said earlier? About how they were avoiding the Subs?”

“Oh. Yeah! Puffy said that the vines didn’t want to come into the Holy Land, they must not like it or something.”

“Well they weren’t coming into the place even when there was a way for them to,” Quackity pointed out. “You saw that, right? It’s like there’s a force field or some shit.”

“Well—tha-that’s not—” Jack Manifold spluttered. “What about you three?!”

“Huh? What about us?” Tommy asked.

“The vines are part of the Egg, right? And the Egg’s thing is, like, corrupting people.” Jack folded his arms. “You could be under its control!”

“You think I’m going to listen to something as stupid as an egg?” Tommy asked. “I don’t even—listen, Jack, they tried to get me to like it, they like took me down into the room, and I didn’t feel o-or hear anything at all. It’s just nothing to me.”

“Oh really?” Jack looked doubtful. “Even if that’s true, what about these two?”

“I’m not throwing in with some dumbass Egg!” Quackity protested. “I haven’t even been here recently!”

“Yeah, you really think we’d do something like that?!” Sapnap added angrily. “After seeing what it did to Bad and Ant?”

“I don’t know!” Jack threw his hands in the air. “Maybe! I don’t know anything about this!”

It wasn’t long before the four of them devolved into overlapped shouting. People nearby gave them sideways glances, then as the argument went on, blatantly stared. A few started looking around, unsure what to do. More people came to see what the commotion was. Some pulled out weapons just in case a fight broke out.

“What’s going on here?”

The argument calmed down a bit at the interruption, and Tommy looked out at the crowd, now noticing how many people were nearby. And now he recognized a couple. It looked like Eret and Fundy had managed to get inside the Holy Land before the walls were built. “Oh, it’s nothing, really—”

“Yeah, Jack’s just being a little bitch,” Sapnap added unnecessarily.

“I’m being a-a-a—!” Jack stammered. “I’m being careful! We can’t let the Egg inside, and if any of you are on its side—”

“Wait, hang on a second, Jack,” Eret interrupted. “Doesn’t the Egg cause color changes in whoever it’s controlling?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It’s blue to red and red to white, right? If that was the case, wouldn’t Tommy have red eyes right now?” Eret pointed out.

“Yeah!” Tommy immediately jumped in to agree. “Exactly! Do my eyes look red, Jack?”

Jack paused for a noticeable amount of time, then reluctantly admitted, “No.” Another pause. “But!” he continued. “Quackity’s wearing a red tie! And Sapnap never had any blue or red to begin with!”

“Hey why don’t you leave him alone?!” Sapnap snapped. “Quackity wouldn’t join the Egg! And if we’re going by not having any colors in the first place, why don’t you kick Fundy out?”

“Whoa whoa wait a minute!” Fundy spoke up for the first time. “Why are you bringing me into this? I’m just standing here.”

“Hmm. Standing there suspiciously,” Sapnap commented.

“Wh-wh—you just—I—” Fundy stuttered.

“Nobody is kicking anyone out,” Eret said, raising their voice a bit. “We can’t do this now, with all those vines outside. Unless we have proof that someone is part of the Eggpire, we’re not going to make them leave. Everyone got that?”

The others all muttered their agreements.

“Hey, does anyone know where George is? Or Karl?” Sapnap asked, looking around the crowd that had gathered to watch the argument.

“I...haven’t seen them, but you can always go look,” Eret said carefully.

“Okay. Yeah. Quackity, c’mon, let’s go do that.” Sapnap reached for Quackity’s hand, only for him to pull back. He looked over at him, confused.

“You can go ahead, I’m just...I’ll just chill here,” Quackity said.

“Um...yeah, sure. I’ll...meet you back here.” Unsure what else to do, Sapnap stepped away, then eventually disappeared into the crowd.

“Well, boys, it’s been fun,” Tommy said, swinging his hoe over his head and resting it on his shoulder. “But I’m gonna—I-I’ll—I need to go sit down somewhere. Somewhere else.”

“Yes, go ahead and sit down, Tommy,” Eret said softly. “We’ve been building a basement under the church to fit everyone, it should be mostly empty right now, if you want.” They pointed to their left, indicating an area by the back of the church.

“Right. Thanks. I’ll be seeing you all later.” Tommy walked off, following the direction they gestured to until he found a trapdoor. Opening it, there was a ladder leading downward. He climbed down into a wide stone room, lit by torches but otherwise empty. In a daze, he wandered over to the nearest wall and leaned against it, slowly lowering himself to the floor.

What...had even happened? Why was it happening? Why...now? He had plans for the day. He was going to finally close off this chapter in his life, but this...interruption...it left him feeling aimless. Like he’d been floating in the ocean holding onto a rope, only to find it suddenly severed. What was he supposed to do now?

With similar questions spinning in his head, he slowly fell asleep again. 

=====================

Tommy woke up a little bit later, confused until he remembered dozing off. He stood up, wincing. That hadn’t been the most comfortable position to sleep in, and left him feeling stiff. A walk would probably help with that.

The stone basement was still empty, though someone had moved a couple chests into it while he was asleep. They were by the ladder, so he peeked in as he passed by. Nothing much. A bunch of crafting materials like sticks and iron. A few tools and blocks. Dismissing it, he climbed up the ladder and out the trapdoor.

Everyone was still here. In fact, it seemed even more crowded. Most people were gathered inside the church building; a lot of them were hitting the bells. Some others were nearby, setting up chests, furnaces, and crafting tables. The sun was overhead, meaning it was near noon and a few hours had passed since he’d woken up that morning. The walls around the Subs were reinforced with another layer, and now had stairs. Actually, someone was coming down those stairs right now...wait a minute, that was Puffy!

Tommy almost called out to her, but stopped. She looked distracted...and worried. Once she reached the ground, she glanced around, then ran to the side. “Eret!”

“Hmm?” Eret was nearby, crafting something. Tommy saw them turn around. “Puffy! You’re okay!”

“Yeah, barely. My armor’s really damaged.” Puffy let out a long breath. “I came over here as soon as I could but it still took so long—is Tommy here?”

“Tommy’s here. Did you send him?”

“Yeah, because the vines don’t come in.” Puffy paused.

“How bad is it?” Eret asked grimly.

“Well the whole SMP is fucked, basically. They’re from the L’Manberg hole to Hannah’s house on one side, and from the castle to Skeppy and Bad’s house on the other. And I—I can’t find Sam.”

“You can’t?!”

“No, I think he’s in the prison. But the—the nether portal, the one leading in there—it’s broken. All the vines are wrapped around it, I think...I think they shattered it.”

Eret went quiet. “So he’s just...stuck in there?”

“Yeah. But...I guess on the bright side, the vines haven’t spread across the ocean. In any direction, I mean.” Puffy shrugged. “Maybe they don’t like it.” She looked around the area. “So this is everyone.”

“This is everyone,” Eret agreed. “It’s...small. But I’m glad anyone got out of that mess at all.” They paused. “The question is...how we’re going to get out of here.”

“We can think about that in a bit,” Puffy said. “Let’s make sure everyone’s alright first. I grabbed as much food as I could, and some seeds so we can farm if we need to.”

“Oh good idea. We’ve been making a basement, come on, I’ll show you.”

The two of them turned, and Tommy panicked, running around the other side of the church before they could see him. He wasn’t sure why; he just didn’t want them to know he was listening. They might get mad.

It’s funny, really, that the prison was now sealed up. No, wait, that wasn’t the right word. More like...ironic. If he’d actually gone there today like he’d planned to, he’d be trapped in there. And that was the absolute worst thing he could imagine.

Though...this was bad, too. Granted, it was better than being in the prison, with access to the sky and no blackstone and...much better company. But still. The vines were surrounding them on all sides. They couldn’t leave without risking the crimson snatching them up.

They had to come up with something fast. Or else they’d be trapped in here forever.

[beca-mitchell]

What do you think other ships between Beca/Chloe and the rest of the group would be like? Or how well would each relationship pan out? As in Beca+Aubrey, Beca+Emily, Beca+Stacie… and Chloe+Aubrey, Chloe+Cynthia, etc…

posting under read more because this got lengthy!!

Chloe’s Ships

Chloe/Aubrey: This is my favourite secondary ship. It’s such a good foundation for Bechloe in my opinion, especially in the angsty way. I love imagining that Chloe and Aubrey had some kind of relationship going on in the BBM (”before beca mitchell”) times. I think Chloe and Aubrey’s dynamic would have been stressful, but they cared for each other deeply. And they still do! I think Chloe loved Aubrey hard and loved her fast, while Aubrey’s love kind of built up over time, making the relationship feel very one-sided and eventually Chloe moved on when Aubrey finally figured out her feelings.

Chloe/Stacie: I envision this ship being primarily physical—something that starts off as FWB with the potential to be something more. I think Chloe and Stacie in fanon are typically written very similarly (both very physical and affectionate and forward). In canon, I think Chloe is more passionate and headstrong than Stacie. Stacie has a very laid-back personality (different from Beca’s personality) and I think that’s probably where Chloe and Stacie would clash a little in a relationship. I don’t see this being more than a fling if anything, especially during the Barden Years.

Chloe/Cynthia-Rose: I think there would definitely be mutual attraction. Chloe seems like she’s attracted to good energies and I think C-R would be good for Chloe in the sense that C-R probably wants a stable relationship. If she weren’t canonically married (???), I think I would explore Chloe/CR more because I think it would be interesting. And obviously CR thinks Chloe is hot because she’s a wlw with eyes. In fanon I love that CR might be a confidante for Chloe because I can see her doing that. I think most people think Chloe would talk to CR about any doubts she might have about her sexuality but I think CR seems to have had clear goals/directions in life (see PP2 and PP3) which is good for Chloe. If they actually dated though, I don’t think they’d necessarily last.

Chloe/Emily: I weirdly ship this a lot?? I know, it seems out of the blue, especially for me. It really does feel like cheating on Bechloe though lmao. But I think Chloe/Emily could be cute. It would never happen during Barden, but maybe years down the line. Even past PP3. Chloe working in NY and Emily finishing her MBA or PhD. I think they could use an opportunity to reconnect and maybe discover some attraction there. I think they’re both very optimistic and eager-to-please people so I think their honeymoon phase of a relationship would last a long time. 

Chloe/Flo: Interesting, but I’ve never really considered this. I think Chloe would find Flo cute and would be curious about learning more about her. I don’t know if any attraction would move in both directions though. Flo seems more concerned with getting through school, then building her business. 

Chloe/Lilly: I am sure it happened once in a dream. Both of them dreamt it at the same time.

Chloe/Jessica: I’ve seen a surprising amount of support for this on Twitter?? Like surprising being more than one person shipping this. Which probably has to do with Britt/Kelley if anything. I think Chloe probably showed Jessica affection once and Jessica had a crush for about three seconds.

Chloe/Ashley: Chloe remembered her name and her role in the Bellas a few times, but Ashley doesn’t delude herself into thinking that she has a shot with Chloe.

Beca’s Ships

Beca/Aubrey: This is such a classic UST ship. Like I absolutely understand why people ship this. There’s just so much tension and the sheer angst of breaking Chloe’s heart while we’re it...which leads me to my next point: I think Beca and Aubrey is a ship with a shelf life—it inevitably ends with Beca/Chloe getting together (perhaps similar to Chaubrey). I do think Beca and Aubrey won’t always see eye-to-eye, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad ship. It would make for a super interesting dynamic. They both do some growing up between PP1 and PP2 and I suppose even between PP2 and PP3. We see that Aubrey mellows out somewhat but barely, but Beca is doing her best to be chill. So if they did start dating beyond a drunken hook-up, they would still have a lot of work to do on nurturing their relationship. And no matter what AU, I still hc that Beca and Aubrey, at some point, harbored feelings for Chloe. So we’d have to deal with that too.

Beca/Stacie: I love how Beca and Stacie are typically written in fic, especially their dynamic. So I base a lot of my characterization of Stacie on fanon. I can see them being a hook-up, likely instigated by Beca. While Stacie flirts with pretty much everything, I think she’s more careful about letting it go further when it comes to her friends, but if Beca pushed I think Stacie would accept. This of course does not mean I think Beca would be a top in any way, I think she would find a reason to want to hook up with Stacie. Maybe frustration from work, her family life, Chloe, etc. In terms of this dynamic evolving into a relationship, I’m still unsure where I stand. I think I’ve read too many side Staubrey to really read Stacie as being compatible with anybody but Aubrey (which is unfortunate because the movies and the fandom did such a disservice to CR/Stacie).

Beca/Emily: Okay, I like Bemily to a certain extent, but I don’t actively ship them. I think a lot of the groundwork for this ship comes from Emily’s admiration of Beca and her cheerful, good-natured personality. This is typically seen as a good contrast to Beca’s serious, awkward nature. In terms how well this relationship would pan out if it happened, I think it could work. I think this relationship is a good base for angst, especially if you combine both Beca and Emily’s insecurities—both of them seem to stem from not feeling like they’re good enough. They a pairing that works because they have potential and room to grow, I think. And they’d be a pretty good musical super duo!

Beca/Cynthia-Rose: You know? I think this would be really stable? Like CR, apart from her gambling problem in PP1 and her literal wife in PP2, seems like she’s one of the calmer members of the group. And Beca needs that stability in her life. I feel like Beca would be nervous around CR though, especially if it came to a relationship between them.

Beca/Flo:  I don’t recall them interacting much or at all, so I’m working with close to nothing here. I don’t think Beca and Flo would ever date.

Beca/Lilly: I think Beca likes the quiet she gets with Lilly. She’s seen as fairly affectionate towards Lilly in the movies (though that might be Anna Kendrick/Hana Mae Lee), and Beca is rarely affectionate. It’s hard to fully imagine a romantic dynamic between them but I think they’d both be really into bringing each other food and lil shoulder massages while studying. All without talking much.

Beca/Jessica (or Ashley): Beca could not tell them apart. I don’t think this works out.

[ashthewaterghoul]

The Werewolf & The Black – A Wolfstar One Shot

TW - mention of abusive family

Sirius Black was the most confident lad you would’ve ever seen with their sexuality in the 1970’s, but the abusive household he was raised in practically deprived him of love, he had his brother, Regulus, and his cousin, Andromeda, and later, his friends at Hogwarts. But love in the sense of a boyfriend, was something Sirius could not say he knew, and thought he would never know.

Remus Lupin, on the other hand, couldn’t be as expressive as Sirius, with anything. He also had a great deal of childhood trauma, with being a werewolf, but his mother showed him with love, and so did his friends, but similarly, Remus couldn’t fathom falling in love, who would ever love him?

A lack of love, something that would usually isolate someone beyond everything, seemed to unite the two boys. They would have long discussions about what they thought love felt like, they watched as their friends fell in love with each other, first Frank and Alice, then Dorcas and Marlene, and to the entire school’s shock, James and Lily. They wondered if they’d ever find their love. Sirius was the only person Remus would confide in about his worry of no one loving him, Sirius assured him that some people don’t care about lycanthropy, someone was somewhere for him. Remus returned the reassurance with Sirius’ similar worries about being from the Black bloodline.

They both would often have sleepless nights, so they’d open the window in the dorm, and Sirius would name as many stars as he could remember, Remus could name a couple, but he greatly enjoyed how happy Sirius was while doing it. Remus gave Sirius the additional nickname of ‘star-boy’, Sirius couldn’t say he was bothered by it.

The way Sirius would talk to James about Remus would parallel how Remus talked to Lily about Sirius. James and Lily would spend more time together to try and push them together. During these times, when it would just be Sirius and Remus, the two would just sit and think, neither knew what about, but they’d just sit in silence and think. Sirius claimed to be plotting pranks, and Remus would say he was thinking of what book to read next, it was always the same excuse.

One day, during these periods of silent thinking, James barged into the room.

“Sitting in silence again are we lads?” He asked.

“What else would we be doing, Prongs?” Sirius replied.

James merely raised his eyebrows and giggled under his breath.

“What?” Remus inquired, not quite knowing if he wanted to know the answer.

James was still pulling the same face and making over dramatic hand gestures, pointing between the two.

“What?” Sirius now wondered.

James pinched the bridge of his nose, while walking back out of the dorm.

“I honestly give up with you both.”

Those last two words set a thought loose in Remus’ head, one that he didn’t mind, but knew was not, and could not ever be true. They went back to their usual thinking sessions, but Remus couldn’t get that thought out of his head.

What Remus didn’t know, was that Sirius had the exact same idea has him, and the same, lonesome conclusion. The same thought danced around their heads for a while, creating an energy in the room that could only mean one thing.

“I’m never going to find someone who’ll love me.” Remus unexpectedly blurted out, it took him by surprise, but he went with what he had on his mind, knowing Sirius wouldn’t mind, “Who in their right mind would fall for a lycanthrope?”

“I don’t care about lycanthropy.” Sirius suddenly said, both were extremely taken aback, Sirius eyes widened as his face was rapidly turned a bright shade of red.

“No?” Remus gently pried.

“No,” Sirius sat up and took it in his stride, “werewolf or not, you’re still Remus.”

“And Black or not, you’re still star-boy.”

Remus was also now wide-eyed and blushing furiously, the implication of their accidental statements was clear enough.

“And what do you think of star-boy.”

“I don’t think I can describe what I think of you.”

“How about you show me?” Sirius nervously asked, walking to the middle of the dorm.

“I think I could.” Remus met Sirius, both in the middle of the dorm and his gaze.

“Then show me.”

Remus closed the small gap between them, kissing him with the all the strength he had, Sirius returned it instantly, every fibre of his being connecting to the lad in front of him. They were interrupted when a voice came from the doorway.

“Told you so.” James said in a sing-song type of voice.

“Leave them alone.” Lily said dragging her boyfriend away and closing the door, not before she winked at the two with a smirk growing across her face.

After they’d left, the two boys were still stood, holding each other.

“God, we’re dumb.” Remus said, his chin resting on top of his boyfriend’s head.

“That’s what you are going with right now?” Sirius said, nuzzled into the werewolf’s chest.

“How did it take us this long to figure it out?”

“Fair point.”

The werewolf and the Black resumed their thinking session, still holding each other in the middle of the room.

“Whatcha thinking about, Moony?” Sirius hoped for a certain statement to be his answer.

“You.” Remus replied simply.

“Just me?”

“How much I love you.” Remus couldn’t quite believe he had just said that.

“You love me?” Sirius was astonished.

“It would seem I had for a while, I only just realised it. Sirius Orion Black, I love you.”

Sirius would not wipe the smile off his face as he said: “Remus John Lupin, I love you.”

The two started to move their faces closer together again.

“I love you guys too!” James barged in and started a group hug, much to the couples simultaneous dismay and delight.

“James Fleamont Potter. Leave them alone!” Lily was once again dragging James out of the dorm.

“It’s what Sirius does to me when I’m with you!”

Remus and Sirius shared another kiss, the world around them fell away as they melted into each other. In that moment, they had finally realised every emotion they shared for each other. They, the unloveable of the wizarding world, found love in the place they’d always shared it. Each other.

A big thank you to @_lav_ender_lover on Instagram for suggesting the idea of wolfstar accidentally expressing their feelings! Hope you enjoyed! Please leave any feedback as it is greatly appreciated as well as other ideas for future fics!

You can view all my one shots here

[timextoxhajima]

happy 13/09

no this is not a fic

dear jaehyun,

thought long and hard if i should even write this because it's been a long while since i have. the last person i wrote a proper letter to was seonghwa - not even juyeon - so i guess, thanks for ruining where my loyalties stand.

i wrote the most number of letters for nct's jaehyun back in 2017 and 2018 because that was when i struggled the most. must be cute to have that name repeated again and again in my head and in my dms and asks, even after i stopped stanning jung jaehyun.

the way you made yourself so prominent on my blog and in my works was so subtle, so quiet, so gradual. i'm not really sure how it happened, because it wasn't like i didn't write fics for you. i wrote best friend's brother before hostis and nobody said anything about that UNTIL hostis came out.

hostis was tth's game changer. it blasted this blog onto deobiblr and because of that, readers naturally assumed you were my bias, which i just vehemently denied because - you weren't! (you still kinda aren't but like who's gonna believe me, right?)

but i got used to people teasing me with you. though it's cliche and it's not real in the sense that you're never gonna know i exist, you're never gonna read something i wrote for you and you're never gonna know how much you've actually helped me through all my shitty nights and all the times i doubted myself. as a writer, as a dancer, as a person who wishes nothing but love life as the way it was given to me.

(my god i am tearing up LOL WTF I HAVEN'T CRIED IN AWHILE?? IDDONT' CRY??)

i hadn't really noticed how similar our characters were until people started bombarding my asks and my dms with information about you. how you seemed like a tsundere, how you don't cry often, how you're one of the reliable hyungs of the group and how you're kind of an all-rounder too.

took me awhile to buy that list of similarities - because that's pretty much me in real life - or if you can tell just through online interactions, i think i'm pretty similar to that.

mbti's kind of a lame gig these days but i still buy it, and provided your personality hasn't changed, it's just 1 letter different from mine. and if you functioned similarly to me, then i hope you know it's okay to tell someone your worries and your fears. i hope you know it's okay to cry or tell someone you're stressed and that you need a break.

i hope you know it's okay that you don't have to be the one people rely on all the time. i know how that feels.

(WELL IM CRYING NOW THANKS LEE HYUNJAE)

i read a couple of sources here and there about you in detail. how you'd take care of your members in private, how you'd try to make things lighter by making jokes but otherwise you're on the quiet side, how you'd comfort them when they're crying, how your love language is acts of service (LMAO)

ok it's starting to sound dumb and stupid so i'm gonna cut it short now.

because of you, people found my blog and my writing and see me as an inspiration, and for the longest fucking time, i've always seen people like you as my inspiration. i still do.

hardwork is everything. resilience and persistence is what gets you through the day.

you've been the one that people send me pics of in my shitty nights the last 2-3 months, so i've been wired to associate you with comfort, happiness and strength. not by personal preference but like, thanks i guess /insert roll eye emoji/

thank you for teaching me what it means to love someone i might not necessarily have a great impression of, or had no slither of emotion for. thank you for being my heart and my strength and the reason people find comfort, pain, laughter and happiness in my writings.

i hope you're married with kids 5 years from now (cause in 10 years, maybe you'd be too cool and just remain the cool uncle or something) and i hope you stay healthy and happy - because happiness looks pretty on you, lee hyunjae.

happy 25th.

[worldwidemochiguy]

Reticence (soft! Yandere Hoseok)

Summary: You were always terrified of getting kidnapped when you were younger, and now that you’ve been taken by a man who claims to want to take care of you, you recede within yourself so far you refuse to even eat... but Hoseok is determined to let nothing hurt you, not even yourself.

Warnings: Kidnapping, kind of Stockholm syndrome, mentions of not eating so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff pls be careful <3 Yandere behaviour, though I am kind of romanticising it in this fic, please remember that that is all it is: Fiction. Obviously in real life this behaviour would be unacceptable and horrifying. 

Word Count: 2.2K

Masterlist :)

a/n: my first hobi fic!!! this is for @kpopgirlbtssvt​ from a request made about a billion years ago (sorry :/ ) for made-for-each-other verse! Yandere Hobi with a shy reader who wouldn’t talk even though he begged her to, and then him coming home from work to her telling him she missed him and was glad he was home. this was a lil less fluffy and a lil more angsty than i intended, but its still a ‘happy ending’ bc im a weak bitch with simple pleasures, what can i say lmao

Reticence

“What do you want for breakfast, sunshine?” 

Silence. 

Hoseok sighed, then straightened up again, walking over to the refrigerator. You remained sat by the kitchen island, empty gaze fixed on the marble countertop. 

“Omelettes it is, then!” He exclaimed with artificial excitement, trying to be cheery in the face of your taciturnity, but even the sunshiney optimist that was Hoseok was finding it more difficult than he expected. He had hoped that by now you would’ve accepted him, but you remained as quiet and unresponsive as the day he brought you home. Not that you thought of it as ‘home’ yet, but he hoped you would eventually. Hoseok was not a patient man, but he was willing to wait forever for you. 

You didn’t even blink when he set the plate down in front of you. It didn’t seem like you were going to attempt to eat it either. Hoseok sighed. He could understand if you didn’t want to talk to him yet — even though it had been months and he’d been nothing but kind to you — but he drew the line at refusing to eat. 

You had lost weight. The cute cheeks he loved to watch bunch up as you smiled were now sunken. Your beautiful figure which he had admired from afar was starting to become worryingly waif-like. Hoseok frowned, a crinkle between his brows forming for the first time as his usually exuberant features warped with agitation.

“Listen, Y/n-” Hoseok sat down at the kitchen island across from you, bracing his forearms against the table and leaning forwards. “You have to eat. I promise there’s nothing in it that could hurt you. Look, I’ll even eat it myself!” Hoseok carved out a small piece of the omelette and popped it in his mouth, exaggerating his chewing and swallowing. “See?” You offered no reaction, and Hoseok felt his disappointment join the omelette on its way down to his stomach. 

“I can understand that you maybe aren’t so happy with me right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself. Just, please, please stop shutting me out.” His pleading tone did nothing to move you. You just sat there like a ghost, and a groan of frustration slipped out of Hoseok. 

“Please! I’m begging you! Just eat! I don’t understand, all I want to do is take care of you! All I want to do is love you, why won’t you accept me? Why won’t you even talk to me?” 

The only sound was Hoseok’s harsh breaths after his outburst. If he couldn’t see the slow rise and fall of your chest, Hoseok would think you weren’t alive at all. He slumped in his seat, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a moment, before forcing himself to get up and ready for work. When he passed through the kitchen again on his way out the door you were still sitting there, staring at the countertop. 

The front door banged shut, the sound echoing in the apartment. Then, silence. And then, very quietly, the noises of cutlery moving against a plate and chewing. 

~~~~~~

“I don’t know what to do~” Hoseok whined, his head buried in his hands. Around him, his shocked friends were gathered in an informal circle. Each of them had an expression with varying degrees of surprise and confusion — they had never seen Hoseok, the literal personification of sunshine, so dismayed. 

“It’ll be ok, Hoseok. I know it’s bad at the moment, but you just have to wait until she trusts you. Once you achieve her trust, you’ll both be the happiest you’ve ever been.” Taehyung reassured him. Taehyung was obviously the source of authority, since him and his wife were basically the perfect couple. 

“But what if she never trusts me?” Hoseok fretted, before groaning again. “She won’t even eat! I don’t know what to do, I’m just watching her slowly starve in front of me and she won’t even look at me!” The rest of the group paused as they digested this new information. It seemed this girl was particularly stubborn.

“Force feed her then.” Jin shrugged and Hoseok’s head shot up in outrage.

“No! I could never hurt her like that!”

“You’re hurting her by letting her starve.” Jeongguk pointed out, and Namjoon smacked the back of his head, chastising. Meanwhile, Hoseok looked like he was about to cry.

“Listen, Hoseok, are you sure this girl is the one?” Jimin questioned, bracing his clasped hands on his knees. 

“I know she is.” Hoseok replied with a conviction he rarely used. “The second she came into my life, it was like I was born again and she was the first thing I saw. The only thing I could see. Her face- God, it just… glows. She’s like sunshine. She’s an angel. She’s so beautiful and kind and fragile and I want to protect her from everything, and I don’t deserve her but no one else does either and I know we’re meant to be together. If I thought I could’ve let her go, I would have. But I can’t. I have to have her, she has to be mine.” 

The circle of men was quiet for a second, before a quiet chuckle broke the silence. 

“Well then,” Yoongi rasped, “if she’s all that you say she is-”

“She is.” Hoseok interjected fiercely.

“Then all you can do is have a little patience.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It was incredibly boring being kidnapped. Especially when your kidnapper did nothing interesting except make bad food and dance along to music from the TV surprisingly well and cry sometimes when you wouldn’t look at him. Frankly, it would have been easier if he were more of the torturey-type, because it was really hard to stay stubborn in the face of his sparkling eyes and radiant smile.

When you were younger, there was a poster up on the wall of your homeroom at school. On it was an old man with an ugly sneer and a beige trench-coat, with the slogan ‘DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS’ superimposed in glaring red letters. You used to stare up at the poster and wonder how anyone could be so stupid as to talk to someone who looked like that. 

You were never afraid to yell ‘STRANGER DANGER’ at the highest decibel your little lungs could manage whenever a person brushed too close to you in the mall. It was almost a habit — you were avidly fixated on your own personal safety, much to your mother’s chagrin and public embarrassment. Being banned from all the surrounding stores within a 20 mile radius had two consequences:

You had to drive forty minutes for a new pair of socks.

You stayed at home a lot more than you went out.

You became a homebody, and it was certainly not something you were unhappy about. Staying safe in your room meant there was less risk for someone to kidnap you. The comforting layer of your blanket was a shield from everything bad in the world. When your parents were arguing constantly, screaming at each other every other night, you would just tuck yourself in and read a bedtime story on your own since they were both occupied. When your parents eventually divorced, you buried yourself under your duvet rather than answer their questions about who you wanted to stay with, and what your preference was. When your mom died in a car crash, and your dad started drinking, your mattress was the shoulder you could cry on, your blanket was a warm arm holding you close. You had always felt safe in your bed. Perhaps that was why you were having such an averse reaction to being taken from it.

Hoseok was not a man with an ugly sneer and a trench coat. He had an impeccable sense of style, and his smile was breathtaking on the few occasions that it appeared. You more often saw his face twisted into a pained grimace. For a kidnapper, he was awfully sensitive. You were pretty sure it was reasonable for you to be holding grudge, and it’s not as if you were actively fighting against him or anything. You were just refusing to acknowledge him. You were highly skilled at repressing things, or ignoring them, and you were resolved to do the same now. 

By 7 o’ clock, your resolve was slightly eroded. Hoseok always arrived back at half-past 5 on the dot. He was a very punctual person, and you felt an unwelcome sense of worry curl along the edges of your mind as the clock counted away the seconds of him not being there. You remembered feeling the same way when you waited for your mom to pick you up from your dads, watching the clock hand sweep past the numbers, increasingly taunting. Of course, you hadn’t realised that she was at the time caught in between a lorry with a drunk driver and a very steep incline. You wondered if you were being similarly clueless now. 

When the door clicked open at quarter to 9, you had to restrain yourself from exhaling in relief. Hoseok came in looking slightly disheveled, his collar undone and his hair mussed as if he had ran his hands through it over and over again. He gave you a quick once over to see if you were alright, shot you a small, forced smile and then went straight to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

That was odd. He never closed the door to his bedroom. He had always left it open in case you needed anything, despite your refusal to acknowledge him. First, his late arrival and now yet another uncommon action? You felt curiosity bubble within you. That was it. Curiosity. It’s not that you were at all worried about him, you were just being nosy. Of course. 

You tiptoed towards the door, tracing a finger around the door frame lightly. What if he didn’t even come out again for dinner? You doubted he had dined out without you, he had been eating his meals sitting across from you while you refused to touch yours since the day he stole you. You really should check on him, if only for the fact that if he dies then you’re trapped here with a high chance of starvation.

Before you could convince yourself not to, you opened the door and stepped inside. The only light-source came from the moonlight filtering through the window, casting Hoseok’s form lying on the bed in a deep blue. His eyes, which you assumed had been closed previously, shot open to observe you as he propped himself up on the backs of his forearms.

“Y/n.” He rasped, and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. “D-do you need anything?” His tone was both excited and confused, probably because you had literally never directly interacted with him before. 

You didn’t speak, and for the first time your silence was due to speechlessness, rather than a conscious desire.

“I-I, uh,” You stuttered, and Hoseok sat up ramrod straight, hearing your voice for the first time. “You… were late home.”

Hoseok felt like he couldn’t breathe. Your voice was so soft and pretty, fuck, and you were actually looking at him, you were actually talking to him, holy shit- and you called the apartment home. You said he was late ‘home’. Hoseok somehow managed to keep his shit together. 

“I was?”

“Yes.” You confirmed with a small nod of your head. Fuck, you were so cute. “You normally come back at half five. It’s almost nine now.”

“I’m sorry. I was working late.” He was staying at the office because he felt guilty for not taking proper care of you and wanted to avoid seeing the proof of your unhappiness, but you didn’t need to know that. 

“It’s ok.”

You remained standing at the foot of the bed, locked in his gaze. The bed looked so comfortable, moulding to support his body, and his warm body was exactly the comforting presence you were searching for all those years ago and you found yourself asking,

“Can I sleep in the bed with you?” 

It was a quiet, timid suggestion but Hoseok reacted to it like a bombshell. His eyes practically popped out of their sockets and his entire body tensed. You were about to rescind your offer when he reached out a tugged a corner of the blanket down, welcoming you into the warmth. 

You awkwardly sat on the edge of the mattress, nudging off your house slippers with your toes before slipping under the covers. The relief was instantaneous, shrouded in comforting and familiar warmth, and you couldn’t stop yourself from plastering yourself against his side, arm reaching out tentatively to rest on his chest. You felt his muscles jump under your touch, before his arm slid under you and tucked around your shoulders, drawing you into him closer. You closed your eyes, letting out a quiet little sigh, and you let yourself say the words you wish you could’ve said all those years ago when your mother never returned.

“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.” 

[tartagilicious]

our future > gavin, mlqc

ok… here comes the actual birthday fic — happy birthday, one of my biggest comfort characters ever <3 I’ve grown to be so attached to him over the time I’ve been playing mlqc, and though I really can’t even put into words how much I love him, he just makes me feel so happy. I truly hope all of us can find someone that makes us feel the way, fictional or real. //w.c 2330 // not a request.

[toothbrush by dnce]

I’ve only ever met one person I would call truly noble. In the glint of his amber eyes, I've seen more kindness and effort for reform than I have in anyone else -- slowly chipping away at the person everyone had expected him to become to reveal the man he had always wanted himself to be.

My sentiment means very little compared to all that Gavin deserves, but, I’m proud of him. I know very little people that could make it out of such a deep hole, littered with familial and personal issues that even I don’t quite understand. And I thank the deities of fate every day for giving him the chances he needed to get through everything unscathed.

I watch my apartment door open to show his face, suddenly contorting in what I’d call a lost kind of surprise at the small group cheering for him -- as if something about a surprise birthday party doesn’t make sense. But it quickly fades to be replaced with a more familiar happiness, soft like in days of the past.

Yet, his smile is the only thing that remains unchanged in my memory. His spirit has since grown stronger, his body firmer, his sense of justice tighter -- but all of it still belongs to the same man that I have always known.

“Boss!”

Kiki had hissed my name thrice before I realised anyone was calling me that day, and as she smiled mischievously, I knew exactly what she was up to. She must have peered over my shoulder and--

“So, about Gavin.” She had pulled over a seat to sit next to me, in which I quickly clicked off the tab I was on and found something more work-appropriate. Party planning could wait until I was off of work, anyway.

Kiki startled me by asking, “It’s his birthday soon, isn’t it?”

Flashes of the tab I had closed out of flooded my memory, and stammering, I nodded.

“Y-yeah, it is. Why?”

“I think we should throw a party for him! Just as thanks for being so helpful with Miracle Finder, y’know?”

I thought for a moment, painfully aware of Kiki’s eager expression in the corner of my eye even as my mind screamed obscenities. The aforementioned plans held a certain weight in my heart, dragging my mind down with everything I'd be unable to do in the scenario of a party. But, in an effort to keep from having to expose those plans, I swallowed my complaints and agreed.

It’s better this way.

I dropped down onto my bed later that same day and groaned into the pillow, my brows furrowing as I cursed my inability to say no. This wasn’t the end of the world, surely it’d still spin regardless of how the day is spent -- granted that the things I planned to say to him that day aren’t pushed back too far.

That form of reassurance immediately failed to wipe the frown off my face.

Rolling over in a huff, I caught a near perfect glimpse of his gift sitting wrapped on my vanity, its bright and slightly messy packaging mocking me almost more than I could take. Oh, what a day to be reminded that what goes around, comes around.

Truthfully, the idea didn’t taste as bitter in my mouth the next morning. That didn’t excuse the nauseating feeling of anxiety it left behind, but it was progress nonetheless. I opted to keep my breakfast down and stow his gift away from my prying eyes.

It was the beginnings of a busy day, starting with countless bullets in my planner being scribbled out to make room for the new circumstances. The only thing that had remained unchanged was the guestlist, comprised of the close staff he was aware of on Miracle Finder and Eli. A part of my eagerness faltered looking at the rest of the blacked out page, but all I could do was hope that during our meeting, Eli, the first invitee, had what it would take to bring my spirits back up.

The bus was mostly empty on such an afternoon -- kids in school and adults at work. Yet, of course, a certain someone still somehow managed to show up.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a tap on my shoulder, the smooth yet irritating voice of its owner letting my heart sink a bit further into my stomach. Begrudgingly, I looked up at Shaw’s expecting eyes and sigh.

“The seat’s open, you don’t have to ask me.”

His similarly amber eyes peered down at me through lilac bangs, but his short observation session ended with a simple shrug. Shaw had very little problem plopping right down next to me as if we’d known each other forever, even adding the polite touch of music blaring from his headphones.

I stared for a moment, but shook off whatever thoughts had begun to creep into my mind and turned my attention back over to the open planner in my lap, the page depressingly blank. I couldn’t focus for what seemed like eons, but I looked up to realise that it may have something to do with the unwavering gaze trained on my face.

“Shaw?” I questioned, unable to keep a small smile from my face as his eyebrows suddenly flicked up. “Is something wrong?”

“Working on the bus? I didn’t take you for such an overachiever.”

I snorted, twirling the pen between my fingers absentmindedly as he took out a single earbud. “I guess a busybody like you wouldn’t know.”

“Care to tell this busybody what you’re up to, then?” He hummed and pointed curiously to the scribbled out block of text with his finger. I could feel the temperature in my face rising with each passing second, yet I tried my best to answer him regardless.

“I-I’m trying to plan for someone’s birthday…” I started, laughing awkwardly as Shaw retracted his hand with a teasing smile. “I just had to scrap some things, that’s the mess.”

“Nice, who’s the lucky guy?”

I’m instantly taken aback. “How would you know if it’s a guy?”

I could tell that my reaction had pleased him, and internally kicked myself when he chuckled.

“Is it going well?”

“...I think so.” I said, unaware that I had said this more to myself than him. “I couldn’t let him down for something so simple, anyway.”

Shaw’s teasing words didn’t come as I expected them, and when I looked up to see his smile, my actions staggered. He seemed suspiciously happy to hear about my lacklustre plans, but I didn’t let that get to me. I had an entire afternoon to worry about before diving into whatever was going on in that man’s head.

Though, at the moment, Shaw isn’t the one that should be capturing my attention.

Gavin stands in the entryway now with Eli and Minor on either side of him, actively being showered with wishes of a good birthday and positive comments alike. The man in the centre of it has a wistful smile curling his lips, growing almost imperceptibly wider as the seconds pass.

Though betraying him are his eyes, openly showing the contentedness that I had been hoping to see. A similar small smile appears on my own lips, yet I fail to recognise that my body’s mechanics are no different from Gavin’s.

At least he’s enjoying this.

I feel guilty and self entitled for even thinking in such a way, especially being the only one that the turn of events has inconvenienced. Everything has a right time, it just seems that tonight just wasn’t mine.

My chest grows hotter instinctively when I notice Gavin break away from the excited pair, as if my irrationality is trying to tell me he knows what I’m thinking. But, through everything, his calm and familiar smile comes to wash over me like a bucket of cold water.

“___~” Gavin drags out my name knowingly, the tips of his ears a buzzing red from all of the interaction. The nature of his smile is similar as he takes me into his arms, only enveloping me fully when I begin to laugh.

And, It may be my delusion, but his grip around me somehow seems a bit tighter than usual.

I settle gratefully into his shoulder as he begins to speak, though truthfully, I can’t bring myself to focus on more than a few words:

“Thank you.”

I feel accomplished to still recognise a similar glow in his eyes around an hour later, curiously following the homemade cake that Minor places down in front of him. The icing looping daintily overtop of it reads as a messy “Happy Birthday!”, and my heart swells when he smiles upon reading it.

Surrounded by the people I care about, my circumstances are momentarily forgotten. It really is the little things that count.

The night from then on goes up in a semi-chaotic flame orchestrated by Minor, who seems very determined to make this a night no one will forget. At one point, he even thrusts a noisemaker into my hands, to which I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of.

People begin to trickle out some time after the clock chimes midnight, passing me their thanks and Gavin a last wish before leaving. The quietness slowly returns to my apartment, but throughout all of this, I can’t help but notice that Gavin makes no attempt to leave with everyone else. It’s subtle, but the way he lingers around everyone tells me enough.

The only thing I don’t quite understand is why.

Then, I remember the gift in my nightstand. It’s been sitting there, alone but not necessarily forgotten, for a few days, abandoned with my original plans. But, if Gavin really does intend to stick around, then maybe I can still make good use of it.

True to expectations, Gavin says goodbye to the last guest while standing by my side. In the next moment, it’s only us left in the silent apartment, held together by nothing but the sounds of our breathing.

“Thank you, ___.” I turn to him when he suddenly speaks, and find myself startled by the gentleness his eyes possess. “Thank you so much for such an amazing day today. I might have said it last year, but I still want to be honest: so many things have happened since then, and it wasn’t until today that I realised that all of the good things that have happened to me, they’re because of you.”

An embarrassed tint bites at my cheeks. It’s not often that Gavin shares his feelings so openly, and I certainly hadn’t expected such an average experience to draw them out.

I smile. “My life changed for the better when you came back into it, this was the least I could do.”

It’s now his turn to grow shy at my words, and I can’t help but giggle.

“Here,” My laughter fades through my words as I wave for him to sit down on the couch. “I have one last thing for you, so just wait there.”

Gavin doesn’t refute like I expect him to, and instead, he does what I say. But, I don’t miss the tenderness in his gaze even as I turn away.

My heart beats in anticipation as I walk down the hall, almost out of my chest by the time I stop in front of the correct drawer. I’ve backed myself so far into a corner that even if I did want to chicken out, there would be no excuse -- so, I take a deep breath and wrap my hand around the small package, letting the scent of paper cajole me.

He’ll like it.

I repeat that sentence like a mantra as I hand it to him, settling beside him as he opens the box. A huge weight in my heart lifts to see the surprise and excitement in his eyes, and I internally sigh with relief.

“Though it doesn’t have a tracker in it or anything...” I trail off with a small laugh, paying homage to Gavin’s small but running white lie. “I still want you to look down at it and know that wherever you are, I’ll always be there for you.”

Gavin holds up the homemade ginkgo bracelet so it catches the light, its appearance reminiscent to the one he had given me when we first met again. Its charm is slightly bigger than mine, and the chain still faintly smells of the store it was bought from, but that doesn’t even seem to phase him.

“Thank you, ___.” His expression is so unguarded that I almost hesitate. “This is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received.”

My face flushes under his compliment, but I quickly pick myself up again and offer to help him put it on. He smiles appreciatively before dropping the small chain bracelet into my palm, holding out his hand.

My embarrassment turns into slight satisfaction when I clasp it around his wrist, my estimation in sizing turning out to be correct. Though, the glint in my eye is long forgotten when Gavin’s hand comes up to rest on the back of my head in a tender gesture.

Heat emanates from where he touches me, so, similarly, I let my fingers over his wrist linger for just a second longer. Painstaking moments pass where neither of us speak, until finally, his hand leads my gaze upwards.

His lips that land on mine remind me of a thousand memories at once.

Gavin tastes of brisk mornings spent in the music room, warm only due to the hot chocolate a curious senior had left for the girl who practiced there every day. He tastes of every compassionate word shared to me, between nights spent dancing in the sky and afternoons around Loveland investigating the truth -- of a unique comfort and familiarity.

It’s in these moments that I realise how much we’ve gone through together, and how much our future truly holds.

[ship-trek]

I would like to know everything about your ships with Spock, Uhura and Bones please!!! KJFEWHKJFW if there's lore or fic I wanna read it and if there's art I wanna see it those three are VERY GOOD (I have a lot of love for TOS) @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound

!!!! I! Thank you for this lovely ask!! I also have a lot of love for TOS, it was the first Trek I watched and it's always going to have a special place in my heart!!

If you really want to know everything, we're going to be here for a while, so this is going under a cut for length. I should never have been enabled like this. None of them have any fics yet and I can't really draw all that well, so there's no art either, but I'm always happy to ramble about them and call it lore, so here we go!

Ok, as I'm writing down the lore for my ship with Spock, it's becoming a lot longer than I thought it would be - as in it's over 1000 words and we *just* got to Starfleet Academy. I'm going to trim it down a bit to try and get a shorter version and I'll probably turn the rest into a fic. Even with the cuts, though, this is really long. You've been warned.

Once I finish my WIPs with Nerys, I have some plans for some TOS fics, so hopefully my lovely friends will get their fair share of fics soon! I can tag you in any TOS fics I write if you'd like, but of course there's no pressure!

Bones:

I selfship with Bones in the way I do to cope with some specific issues, so lore-wise it's a bit different than my other ships. I don't really have an s/i, it's just me here in our world. He's off on the Enterprise doing all those fun space things, but I can call him whenever I like and he always tries to get back to me as soon as possible if he misses the call at the time. He doesn't miss them often, though - he and I set up a system so I can mark calls as high, mid, or low priority and he'll interrupt almost anything to take a high priority call. I hardly ever use it, but it's nice to know I can reach him if I really need to. And he's amazing to talk to! He's really supportive and always willing to listen to me, and he gives the best hugs :)

I'm actually really excited because he's due back on Earth soon, and he promised to come visit! He can't visit often so every time he does he goes out of his way to make our time together special. It's one of the little ways he shows he really cares about me.

This is a fairly new ship for me, so I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do about Joanna. I'm unlikely to add her as a familial f/o, but we might end up as friends or I might just ignore her entirely. It's my canon now :)

Uhura:

So! I am a massive language nerd. I've been teaching myself both Vulcan and Klingon in addition to studying Latin, Japanese, and Spanish in school at various points. (Yes, Swahili is next on my list. Yes, this is because of Uhura.)

Nyota and I met at Starfleet Academy (more details on how I got there in Spock's lore as both ships use the same s/i) during one of our xenolingustics classes. She seemed super cool, but she had a friend group already, so I ended up being too scared to approach her. I haven't always been the best student, so I got into the habit of taking any extra credit opportunities that came my way. Our xenolinguistics teacher offered extra credit if we went to a presentation being hosted by the xenolingustics club, and I figured I had nothing to lose, so I showed up. Nyota saw me there, recognized me from class, and encouraged me to join the club. She seemed nice and I was free, so I said I'd try it out. I came to a few meetings and we ended up becoming friends!

I was never close with her friend group (we didn't have a lot in common and i just didn't fit their vibe) but she worked hard to make sure we still had time to hang out, and I never felt like she liked me any more or any less than the rest of her friends. How she balanced it all, I don't know. I still think she might be superhuman.

She was a year ahead of me and we ended up falling out of contact a little bit when she graduated. Between her (and later my) assignments, there was just never enough time, and as some of you may know (Sorry!!) my ability to stay in touch with people online is atrocious. We didn't stop talking entirely or stop being friends, but it wasn't until we were both assigned to the Enterprise that we were able to reconnect, and we're even better friends now than we were back then. I didn't exactly figure out who I was, but I grew more comfortable with the process of growing as a person and not having all the answers, and as a result I ended up way more confident in myself and with a lot less self loathing. Turns out, that makes you a lot more fun to be around! I still have a lot of work to do in that area, but I'm a lot better than I was back at the academy.

She and I hang out a lot on the Enterprise, sometimes with Spock or Nurse Chapel and sometimes just the two of us. We sing together, play games, talk in half a dozen languages (just because I don't know them yet doesn't mean my s/i can't!) and just do all those normal fun friend things. Sometimes we even teach or help each other learn new languages (I'm learning a new dialect of Klingon and she's learning Latin). One thing I've always really appreciated about her is the way she handles spontaneity with me - when she wants to hang out or change plans on short notice, she always gives me a really good sense of what she's suggesting we do and gives me the chance to raise any concerns or questions about it before we have to make a decision.

Interesting quirk of our friendship: I can usually be flexible about what we do but really need to know in advance who is going to be there, and she can usually be flexible about who's going to be there as long as she has a good sense of what we're going to do. It took us a little while to figure that out and start warning each other appropriately, but once we did things got a lot better!

It's really a crime that the writers didn't give us more Uhura-centric episodes because there are just so many things I want to know about her! This is also a new-ish ship for me, so the lore isn't quite as finalized as I'd like. If you see me changing things about our ship later, that's why!

Spock:

Ok, important warnings time. My selfship with Spock fills a very particular emotional role for me that causes me to be unusually protective of him and our relationship. I'm aware that this isn't exactly emotionally healthy, and that's something I'm actively working on. Part of the benefit of my ship with him is that he can fill this role rather than me putting it on a real person, which, yeah, wouldn't be great. A lot of this has to do with him putting me first.

To be clear, I view my ship with him as happening in one of many similar but distinct universes (there's a TNG ep I'm thinking of here) that's separate from both canon and other people's ships with him. That's why I say that our s/is probably can't be friends (unless we have some universe crossover stuff going on). I would never want to get in the way of another person's ship with him! And this is the division of things that makes it easiest for me to wholeheartedly support others' ships with him, which is something I very much want to be able to do. (What I'm trying to communicate, badly, is that I want to be clear that I don't view the way he thinks about me as being true anywhere outside of my ship with him.)

I do refer to him as my best friend, the platonic other half of my soul, and other similarly intense terms, which he reciprocates. We also have a minor telepathic bond (I have Headcanons about Vulcan telepathy and no one can stop me from using them). Our relationship really is strictly platonic, but if that's going to make you uncomfortable, the time to stop reading is now! I'm also always happy to work out more detailed tags if needed.

Now! On to the actual ship stuff. I've changed around the lore a little bit recently to be a little truer to the way I've been shipping with him for the past 6-7 years, so hopefully this is the final(ish) lore. There are several moments where if canon says otherwise I simply do not see it. I am looking away. My canon now :)

It's late, later than I should have been out, but I'm too young to know better and too excited to care. My cousins are playing in the sand out ahead of me, but I've had enough of the noise and the people for right now, so I'm doing what I do best: wandering off when I shouldn't. The beach is busy but the nearby hills are quiet, so I start to climb. Even at that age, I hate sand, and the stone staircase is a welcome relief.

I was so focused on the climb to see him and by the time I reach the top, I'm too exhausted to do anything but flop on the ground. As soon as I do that my eyes turn skyward and then I'm too focused on the stars to do much of anything else. Even with the lights around, it's a dazzling display. Most call it science, but to my untrained eyes there's a much simpler word: magic.

Between the exhaustion and the stars, it takes me several minutes to realize I'm not alone. A Vulcan boy I don't recognize is sitting on a bench a few feet away from me, staring at something in his lap and staying very still. I watch him for a while and when he still hasn't moved, I walk closer. He twitches - clearly, he knows I'm here - but keeps his eyes fixed firmly on his PADD. If I were older, I would have gone down the hill and this would have been the end of it.

But I wasn't older. I was young, and dumb, and perhaps most dangerously of all, I was curious. I didn't go down the hill. Instead, I walked up, pulled myself up to sit on the far end of the bench, and asked the question that would end up shaping the rest of our lives:

"Have you ever looked up?"

And he did.

I rambled about the stars and asked about his logic homework, and he watched the stars and patiently answered my questions. By the time we parted ways, I was smiling with his contact information tucked safely into a pocket and he watched my go with the corners of his lips pulled up into that classic Vulcan not-quite-smile.

My mom recognized his name and description as the son of Amanda Grayson, a friend of a friend, and she let me use her PADD to keep in touch with Spock until I was old enough for my own. He turned out to be a few years older than me and a lot of fun to be around with a subtle sense of humor that never failed to make me laugh. We'd hang out in person whenever I went to Vulcan or he came to Earth and we talked almost every day online when we were apart. He was (and is) my best friend, and we saw each other through the highs and lows of growing up. Even when his bullies got really bad and when my school social life went down the drain, we always had each other, and somehow that was enough.

Because of something something Vulcan brain development, the eligible age to apply to Starfleet is 20 rather than 16. (ooc this is my headcanon and I need it for our backstory to work, so shh.) I was certain he would apply for Starfleet Academy the moment he was eligible, and I think his decision to wait for a year shocked everyone. I asked him about it, wondering if there was something wrong. We'd talked for ages about how much he wanted to escape Vulcan, so why wasn't he now that he finally had the chance?

His response? "Not all humans treat me as you do. The bullying is unlikely to change, only its source. If I am to be bullied no matter my path, I will choose the one in which we are together."

I have never felt more honored in my life.

We applied for Starfleet together the next year. His father was devastated displeased that he did not choose the Vulcan Science Academy, my parents were upset that I was moving out so young, and we rolled up to Starfleet Academy as the resident pair of family disappointments. Good times.

The academy was a blast, though. We got to see each other! In person! Every day! I was there to stand up to the people who teased him, he was there to encourage me to make good choices, and we both were there to remind each other that sleep is a necessary biological function not to be ignored. We were both studying science, but he focused on the astrophysics side and I focused more on the biology side, so we didn't share too many classes, but we'd hang out all the time in between classes and we tried to take the same electives when we could. Having similar interests helped a lot on that front.

I was a weird child that had by now grown into a weird teenager, so I didn't have a ton of friends at first. Even when it started directly affecting his social life, Spock was never embarrassed to be seen with me, and though he claims that he would be treated the same without me... I doubt it. Still, though, it helped a lot to have him there, and he's never held it against me.

I did convince him to do a show with me once. He tries to hold that one against me but he had fun and we both know it. Besides, it's my job to drag him into illogical things sometimes :)

We graduated together but like so many close friends are, we were posted to different ships. It was a weird time for us. I was doing great, honestly. I was medicated for my chronic illness (finally!), in therapy (finally!), and I loved my ship and fellow officers. My job was interesting and engaging and I was having a blast. Spock, on the other hand, started to struggle a little bit. Though he always treated me like an equal, I think there was a part of his mind that always thought he was a little bit better than me, and seeing me succeed seemingly effortlessly where he was struggling was hard for him. We got through it, though, and he got some better accommodations (and later a transfer to a ship that fit him better) which made everything a lot better. I even ended up taking some engineering classes and wound up getting a degree in engineering too, just for fun.

Before we knew it, he was the first and science officer of the Enterprise and I was a lieutenant commander working for him. (I say working for him, but really it's a lot more like working alongside him. Most people in the science department assume that if you tell something to one of us and don't specifically say not to tell the other, we will, so you can basically report things to either of us.) I do some work for Scotty too, and Kirk likes to joke that I'm an honorary member of the bridge crew at this point. It was a funny joke right up until I started getting invited to briefings, but hey, who am I to complain?

Serving together is a lot of fun. I'm one of the only people on board who doesn't constantly pressure him to show his emotions, with the result that he is a lot more emotional with me. He knows that I don't view his moments of emotion as a reflection of how Vulcan he is or isn't, so he has nothing to gain by hiding them. Mostly, I don't comment on them, which is his preference.

While we're both happy to offer each other emotional support when needed, most of the time we end up just sitting with each other and letting them process it on their own. Between my emotional regulation issues and his I Am A Vulcan mentality, it's been a great way for us to show each other the support we crave without worrying about finding the perfect words.

Speaking of words, I'm one of very few people on the ship who speaks Vulcan. I actually learned it years ago because of him so we've been speaking it to each other for a while, and we take the Vulcan tendency to drop words to a truly ridiculous extent. Uhura tends to joke that we created our own language somewhere along the line, but it's a fun way to annoy Bones when he really gets on our nerves. He can't even complain about it because as it turns out having the ability to converse in a way no one else understands is very, very useful when a mission goes south. You can't really complain about something that's saved your life, now can you?

The telepathic bond (again, very minor and strictly platonic) came about when he had to meld with me on one such mission gone wrong. It wasn't planned, though we'd talked about it in the past and neither of us was upset by it. Bones tried to joke that our minds were so compatible that we were probably going to start dating now and immediately found himself on the receiving end of two death glares. Credit to him, he never made that joke again. We view each other like family anyway, so yeah. No.

But I like the bond we have! It's nice to know when he's uncomfortable but not saying anything and it's easier for me to tell when he's protesting for effect and really does want to go along with my bizarre illogical scheme and when he'd rather not. As someone with no real sense of social cues or sarcasm, it's a lifesaver. Besides, he's been a lot more comfortable with causal touch between us since it formed, which is great for me.

We also play a lot of D&D together. It's something I got him into but which he took to like a fish to water, and the lengths we go to to avoid scheduling conflicts for our weekly game night are probably a bit excessive, shall we say, but it helps that all the friends we'd normally have conflicts with end up getting invited too. He very rarely DMs, but when he does, you better hope someone in your party has a decent intelligence stat because his puzzles are amazing. Seriously, I don't think you've really played a puzzle based game of D&D until you've played one of his. Works of art, I tell you.

I could go on about him for hours, but I'll wrap it up here for time and length's sake. If you have any more specific questions, I think I've already effectively demonstrated that I'm incapable of shutting up about him!

[gilded-green]

In celebration of the 10th anniversary, I’ll probably reread GG and send updates/highlight areas and as for commentary. Probably XD

But first. What aspect of Gilded Green was your favorite? What was something you put in a lot of world building for but never got to show either in fic or on tumblr. Who is your favorite character and why, what makes them special in your eyes? Which character has turned into a completely different one as soon as you started writing them? Which part of the fic did you like most when you finished it, do you still like it? Similarly, which part do you dislike most?

Lasty, anything about gg2’s story you want to share/talk about/rant?

-love, the dai li fangirl

Haha, no pressure! But at the same time yes if you do feel free to send me passages for commentary here! <3

What aspect was my favorite? Hmmm. *thinking face* I think, when I first came up with it, I was just thrilled to have these two small things - minor character Lu Ten, overlooked villain organization Dai Li - that I was able to combine into something so big. That was pretty nifty!

As I started developing the story, I think what really caught my attention was the fact that “Wow, all these characters are awful people!” Like. The Dai Li aren’t good.The Fire Nation aren’t good. Lu Ten is a victim but also an oppressor. All off these people have extremely different beliefs and worldviews - Fire supremacist, police state enforcers, classist academic gatekeepers - and all of them think THEY’RE in the right here and none of them are. I think Tien and Hoang might be the only people with a decent, non-oppressive worldview in the story so far. XD I was growing out of the storytelling trope of black-and-white morality at the time, so it was really fun to start experimenting with writing awful people as enjoyable, sympathetic characters.

World building? Hmm. I was just learning how to use my worldbuilding muscles back then. I seem to remember reading up a lot on how brainwashing actually works in the real world and going “I don’t think this is compatible with what we have in ATLA” and just kinda tossing that whole thing out. XD I also recall looking up a lot of stuff for the bits about Jouin, some of which - kalua pig! - has since shown up again in WFFD. I also recall someone on FFdotnet at the time saying “All this chapter did was tell us more about a dead character than the living one” and I was just kinda like -_- yes because he is DEAD and this is your chance to feel sorry about that, we’ll get plenty more of the living one later on account of him still being, y’know, alive. XD

Oh, and Shirong’s personal side projects. I finally got into that a bit in A Meeting of Minds, but the dude DOES have his own stuff going on, which Delun so rudely interrupted to drag him off to see Long Feng about brainwashing a Firebender.

I also did a bunch of research for the birthday party interlude, I think. Mostly appropriate alcohol for such an occasion? And....okay, this’ll sound funny, but.....food containers. I wanted Fen to pack up leftovers for Suyin and Shirong. That’s what my Italian family does after get-togethers, and I assumed that a Chinese family/friend group would do the same! But I also had, like, zero exposure to everyday Chinese life, let alone everyday Chinese life in the 1800s, and I just didn’t have the...idk, cultural osmosis? to figure it out. Like, if you asked me how Victorians would transfer food I’d probably come up with “Idk, wrap it in cloth and stuff it in a basket?” and I assumed people living in modern China would also be able to explain what their people did for food storage/transport 150 years ago but I didn’t have that cultural background, now, did I??? Also this was 10-12 years ago I was looking this up, mind you, the internet was still very different, there was plenty of information on Chinese historical events but not on everyday life objects, CDramas weren’t easy to find if they were translated at all and I certainly didn’t know they existed, and no one was posting beautiful aesthetic videos of life in a rural Chinese mountain village to youtube yet. Eventually I learned that bamboo baskets were a thing, but there wasn’t much info on THOSE either and I wasn’t sure how to describe them, so I just tentatively typed “basket” and called it a day. XD

YOU CANNOT ASK ME TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER THAT’S LIKE ASKING ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN!!! *shoves Yong off a cliff*

I’m very fond of the Dai family, along with the Trungs and Sais. I’m very proud of how Tuan turned out. I adore Yuan, who you’ve barely met, and Xun, who you haven’t. Huang and Wu Sheng are also definite faves and I can’t wait for y’all to get to know them better.

Characters do usually behave for me in terms of personality development. They surprise me, but they never really turn out to be the complete OPPOSITE of what I was expecting? They just kinda develop organically. Huang and Wu Sheng surprised me, tho, those boys got deep. I knew they had the potential, but developing their backstory actually caused Stingrae and I to develop Ba Sing Se’s socio-political backstory and Long Feng’s rise to power, all because of an inkling I had. That was a very satisfying few years of worldbuilding and story development.

Um, favorite part of the fic....idk, I’m very fond of the final scene, with Azula and her wall chunk from Lu Ten. I’m doubly fond of it because of how it always resonates with readers. Heck, during Azula week last year, I used that chunk of rock as an ongoing theme in Sandstone, and someone commented like “I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WROTE GILDED GREEN” and that made me really happy!

Lu Ten’s time stuck underground - I used the seven stages of grief to get through that one and it was very helpful in structuring that part of the story, and I figured it was deep or something because PSYCHOLOGY.

I’m also proud of myself for getting through the dark brainwashing scenes. So, like, FYI, fanfiction could get...very dark, back in the 00s. People love to play purity police these days and complain about how nasty people get can, but listen. Listen. Do you have any idea how dark FFdotnet got back in the day? Legolas And Aragorn Get Captured By Orcs And Brutally Tortured was an entire genre. I feel like torture fic was actually a lot more common back then, and darkfic in general - I’m sure someone could write a whole thesis on why it’s not so prevalent anymore, I’m gonna guess the fact that fandom is less-insulated and more public now could be part of it, maybe also the fact that the internet is more social media/influencer culture based so people care about their image, and also the purity police which is its own kettle of worms, but I also think that the Bush Administration had something to do with it? You have all these kids who were pre-teens when 9/11 happened, growing up during the Iraq War with an awful presidential administration while everyone was scared and conservative Christianity started to realize that their control over the nation’s “morality” might be slipping and reacted accordingly......yeah there was a lot of darkfic back then.

And I read a lot of darkfic too, but, uh....well, statistically speaking, a lot of writing is bad, okay? A lot of those fics were just weird; you could see where the writer had this idea, and also where they failed to execute it in a way that resonated or made sense. And whatever, writers were young and just wanted to pound out some catharsis, it’s cool, but it still just felt narratively awkward when you could tell how the writer was more focused on LET’S MAKE THIS AS DARK AS POSSIBLE instead of “Let’s tell this as well as possible.”

So the first several attempts at writing the brainwashing scenes, I was nervous because I didn’t want to get TOO dark, and when I finally decided “eff it” and said to Stingrae “I think I need to let this be as dark as it needs to be” I was still nervous because I didn’t want it to end up WEIRD. Idk if that makes sense, but anyway I seem to have done a decent job at it!

As for parts I dislike the most, uhhhhh Iroh’s retreat (I didn’t care, I just wanted to get it over with), Enlai might’ve been promoted too fast? idk, the fact that I came up with Nanyue AFTER I finished publishing GG so I couldn’t work that into the Quy bits, the fact that I was young and innocent and didn’t understand sexual slang or innuendo and randomly chose Dong as the name of the court physician which could lead to some awful puns except no one ever seemed to pick up on that and maybe I’ll regret pointing it out but the man IS going to appear again so I might as well get the first shot in myself. XD

I might have GG2 stuff to talk about but not sure, if I do I’ll make another post on that!

<3