#like 75% of my team is a band kid or was one

[pit-crew-chronicles]

Just remembered something and thought I’d do a poll…

[glorified-red]

oooo a 5k? Are you a student athlete?is that how you got a full ride?

Yes, but no, but yes, but no.

I've been an althete for my entire school career up until my senior year of highschool, so I guess? Student Athlete?

For a year or so I was a gymnast. (My sister and I did it together, she stayed her entire life, I did not, obviously)

Then for a few years I played T-Ball (recently found out via my mom that I made the front page of the city newspaper because I hit the ball and then felt really bad so I went to go pick it up instead of like....playing the game).

Then I played soccer for, so many years, I couldn't tell you how many, I lost count. (I was offense most of the time, rip my ankles)

I almost did volleyball but chickened out last minute (wouldve been a setter or libero).

Then, being the band kid I was, I joined marching band my freshman year. (ah seven years of playing an instrument leads to this)

Got bored of that so I switched to colorguard for two years which was soooo much more athletically demanding my GAWD. (two years of ✨trauma✨ but I might buy a sabre soon, idk, feeling kinda silly)

And Senior year I did nothing and got a job to fill the void of having way too much freetime for me to know what to do with. How do you guys not do sports? What do you do with all the free time???

So yes, I was a "student athlete," kinda sorta, not really, but sure. If I kept playing I probably could've gotten a music scholarship but I haven't touched that instrument in almost 3 years. Same with maybe a marching band scholarship? Idk if my college does that tbh.

But how I actually got my scholarships? Tests and Parents pfft.

5.2 + 3.98 GPA (dont ask why its not a 4.0, I will literally start crying, went my ENTIRE LIFE with a 4.0 only for the lAsT sEmEsTer of SENIOR YEAR---full disrespect: fuck college Spanish), straight A's MINUS ONE CLASS (if I could fist fight college spanish I so would).

I was a dual enrollment kid so I was half a highschool student and half a college student, shot my GPA through the roof and got me to graduate with my AA the same year I graduated highschool. I was the Jason Todd, loved school, was great at school, never struggled, never studied, etc etc.

SAT scores and ACT scores got me a 75% scholarship to any college I wanted to go to in the area (I was only a few points away from 100% but I was too lazy to try again lmao). Then I got another scholarship for being a military brat. Then I got another one for having parents with post-military issues where I basically get paid to go to school. All of that just combines to a full ride, plus any extra money from the scholarships goes to me which is more than I need so it's in my savings acct.

First two years of college were completely free because I was in the dual enrollment program (free college woo), next three years are free because of multiple scholarships, I just say full ride cuz it's quicker to say and gets the point across.

As for the 5ks: My mom and I like to do them together and do at least one a month. This month we're doing an obstacle 5k where you physically cannot complete it without a buddy or a group. Army crawling under electricity, balancing on things by countering each others weight, ninja warrior wall where your team is at the top to catch you, etc etc.

My family (found moreso than blood) is going as Justice League members because there were too many of us to be the Power Rangers. We're doing another one of these in Dec. and then the 10k version of it next year and then hopefully the 15k version. I know my mom and I want to eventually do a marathon.

My main goal is to complete a triathalon. I've ALWAYS wanted to do one so we're gonna try to do it sometime late next year. Starting with the shorter triathalons and slowly working our way up to the more average/long ones.

Now don't get it twisted, I'm not like, a runner or workout junky. Quite literally the opposite. My mom is a runner and its her therapy. Mine? Meeting new people, getting some sun, getting the body moving, and maybe getting some nice scenary. I do run parts of the races, but for the most part I like a nice brisk walk since its healthier for my body than running (yay chronic pain and stupid ovaries!)

I hate the stereotype that you have to run the whole thing or be super fit to do marathons and races. No?? Anyone who wants to can. The point for me isn't to win or to place, its just to finish and have fun. Do I enjoy having a good time? Hell yea, I beat my time by 10 minutes last solo 5k I did. But I'm also the first person who will happily sacrifice a good time so I can enjoy meeting other racers and walking with them.

The last 5k I did was a forest one (it fucking sucked) where the terrain was sand and there were soooo many branches and hills. I watched a racer sprain their ankle right in front of me so we ended up walking the rest together and I carried them for some bits. So my time was terrible, but hey, I got to meet someone I never would've if I didn't stop---and that's more valuable to me.

[wannaberp]

— WHO IS HWANG DAESUNG?

he’s a TWENTY year old wannabe, born JUNE 14, 2004. he’s currently UNDECIDED regarding companies and lives by the words “success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” maybe you should learn more or ask him a question.

▶ PLAY THE CLIP [ dream_reality.mp4 ]

by age twenty, daesung really thought he would've reached some level of success. alas, here he stands—a nobody being interviewed as a spectacle. look at this kid, his foolish optimism. he's been an aspiring somebody for long enough now to know that there are no right answers. nevertheless, attention is attention and he will take what he can get.

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. the questions presented to him linger: what's your dream? how will becoming an idol help you accomplish your dream?

after some deliberation, he says, "i guess you could say my dream is to be a celebrity, but i'm sure you knew that much." he pauses briefly and allows his smile to break through. it's something almost sheepish, embarrassed to dream at all. "i like to entertain. pretty much my whole life, i've been trying to find new ways to impress others... or at the very least, make them laugh. if i were to be an idol, it seems like those types of opportunities would be boundless—plus, i love music and the idea of being part of a team."

"there's more to it than just that, of course. i guess i have... a sense of obligation, almost? i've been trying to make this happen since i was around fourteen and i don't want my mom to think that it was all for nothing. a lot of her money went into funding my aspirations, after all." he thinks for a moment, trying to decide on whether or not he should mention his dad. he always mentions his dad in situations like this, and he always tells himself he'll stop. in the end, he can't help it. his dad is 75% of the reason why he's still fighting for a pipe dream. "if i can add on to that... my dad was a musician. i remember him always playing in bands when i was little, and he never really attained the success that he wanted. he's no longer with us, so it can't happen for him. but if it could happen for me, i'd feel like i had fulfilled a dream of his while also making it my own. so, yeah, i guess that about sums it up."

[thatslikely]

Fred Weasley’s Day Off (Part 1) - F.W.

Fred Weasley’s Day Off- Fred Weasley x Gender Neutral!Reader [Ferris Bueller’s Day Off AU]

Warnings: only occasional mild language

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: this is Part 1 of my new 5 part series, Fred Weasley’s Day Off! You can find the series masterlist here. This part is going pretty similar to the movie, but as the story unfolds, I promise it isn’t a carbon copy of John Hughe’s masterpiece. Hope you guys enjoy :)

Just a reminder: Y/N is Your Name, Y/L/N is Your Last Name, and thoughts are in italics.

Taglist: @amourtentiaa @anchoeritic @probably-peeves @horrorxweasley @weasleywh0r3s​

if you want to be added to be added to my general (or this series!)’s taglist, send me a dm or ask!

If you haven’t seen Ferris Bueller’s Day off or just need a refresher, HERE all all the scenes included in this part in chronilogical order! I HIGHLY reccomend giving these a watch, for they make the situations a lot easier to understand (and they’re hilarious).

----

It’s a beautiful day today, temperatures in the upper 70’s. You can expect plenty of sun and not a cloud in sight. Right now, it’s 75 at lakefront, 74 at Midway, 73 at the O’hare.

“Arthur!” Molly Weasley screeched, beckoning her husband to Fred and George’s messy bedroom. The walls were plastered with large posters of their favorite bands and sports teams (mainly Fred’s), and an expensive computer sat on the desk in the corner. The door to the room was ajar, a frantic mother feeling a haggard Fred Weasley’s forehead.

“What's the matter?” Arthur asked, briefcase in hand.

“It’s Fred, for Merlin’s sake look at him!”

Fred laid slumped under the hand-knitted quilt like a corpse, his hair tousled and his chin unshaved. She continued, “he doesn’t have a fever, but his stomach hurts and he’s seeing spots!” Fred peeled his pained, umber eyes open, his weak gaze pointed to his suit-clad father.

A sympathetic Arthur reached for Fred’s cold and clammy hands, feeling them with a shudder. He’s got a bad cold, he thought, poor boy needs to stay home and rest.

“I’m fine, I’ll get up. I have a test today.” Fred leaned up slightly, his stuffy nose attempting to breathe. His baggy eyes drifted around the room, glazing the empty bed parallel to his’. “No!” Molly and Arthur Weasley stated firmly in unison, pressing his aching chest into the soft bed.

“I have to take it. I-I wanna go to a good college, so I can have a fruitful life.” Fred kept attempting to get out of bed, only for Molly’s gentle hands to guide him back down.

“Oh fine, what’s this? What’s his problem?” Ron leaned against the untidy bedroom’s door frame, his arms crossed, his face donning an unamused expression tinged with jealousy. He was looking daggers into Fred, who reciprocated nothing but a wink.

“He doesn’t feel well,” Molly stated, not pleased in the slightest with Ron’s distasteful demeanor.

“Yeah, right,” Ron rebutted with a scowl. The tips of Ron’s ears seared with resentment for his brother and anger at his naive and biased parents.

“Ronnie? Is that you?” Fred asked, his blurry vision making the outline of his brother near indistinguishable from the rest of his room. “Ronnie? I can’t see that far.” Fred leaned up in an attempt to see his brother, before falling backward with a dramatic moan.

“Dry that one out, you could fertilize the garden,” the younger ginger spat, tapping his toe furiously.

“Ronald, you get to school!” Molly demanded, vehemently gesturing for him to leave.

“You’re letting him stay home? If I was bleeding out my eyes you’d still make me go to school! This is so unfair.” Jealousy oozed from Ron’s clenched jaw like venom.

“Ron, please don’t be upset with me. You have your health, be thankful,” Fred said coolly. His eyes remained glinted with mischief, causing a furious Ron to storm off in a huff.

The concerned mother and father turned back to a wheezing Fred. Molly tucked him in tighter, cooing, “Now listen, I’ll be showing that new family some houses today, so I’ll be in the area. The office will know just where to find me if you need anything, okay?” A wave of gratefulness swept over Fred’s face.

“It’s nice to know I have such loving, caring parents. You’re both very special people.” Molly caressed Fred’s ashen cheek before planting a compassionate kiss on his warm forehead.

“G’bye champ,” Arthur said to his son before carefully shutting his door and walking to the garage.

They bought it.

Incredible. One of the worst performances of my career, and they never doubted it for a second. Fred peeled back the curtains blocking the beautiful view from his large windows with a smirk. He looked out the panes, admiring the gorgeous weather. How could I be expected to go to school on a day like this?

This is my ninth sick day this semester; it’s getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I’ll have to barf up a lung, so I’d better make this one count. Fred carefully adjusted his extortionate stereo, his fail-proof plan slowly piecing together.

Fred then stepped over to his desk, reaching for an old, hefty soccer trophy of his and some rope. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. He started knotting the rope around the shiny golden award methodically. A lot of people’ll tell you to go for the old ‘phony fever’, but if you’ve got a nervous mother, you could wind up in the doctor's office. That’s worse than school.

“It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”

He scrupulously placed the trophy contraption behind his door with a satisfied nod, proceeding to the bathroom dressed in his grey and maroon striped bathrobe. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Fred undressed and stepped into the steamy shower, quickly shampoo-ing his ginger mop into a spiky mohawk. He gave some thought about his plans for the leisurely day before removing the showerhead, gripping it like a microphone, serenading an imaginary audience, “I recall Central Park in fall. How you tore your dress, what a mess, I must confess…”

----

“Spinnet?” A greasy Mr. Snape drawled, spectacled eyes darting around the dingy classroom, illuminated with corporate fluorescent lights. “Spinnet?”

“Here!”

“Smith?” Silence. “Smith?”

“Present.”

“Weasley?” Snape asked, scanning the room for any signs of the irresponsible redhead.

“Weasley?” he repeated, uninterested and monotone. “Weasley?”

“Um, he’s sick,” a perky Cho Chang cut through the tense silence with a smile, “my best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy, who knows this kid who saw Fred pass out at Florean’s last night! I guess it’s pretty serious.”

“Thank you, Cho,” Snape said impassively.

“No problem, whatsoever!”

----

A robotic ring emitted from the phone next to Lee Jordan’s bed, disturbing the perturbed ambiance of the inert bedroom. The hypochondriac occupying the sheets clicked the silver ‘answer’ button with a shallow sigh.

“Hello?” George Weasley asked, his voice deep and groggy.

“Georgie, babe, what’s happening?” Fred’s exuberant voice questioned from the other end of the line, starkly contrasting his twin’s nonbelligerent energy.

“Very little,” he responded in a trance-like state, eyes spacing out at the blank ceiling, his mind nearly detached from his aching body.

“How do you feel?”

“Shredded.” Half-empty pill bottles and antihypertensive drugs lined the bleak nightstand to his left.

“Get dressed and come on back home. I’m taking the day off,” Fred imposed. He sat in a lounge chair, next to the turquoise pool, soaking in the bright morning sun, which starkly contrasted George’s dark atmosphere. He held a Brick to his ear, sipping an iced Hawaiian drink from a swirly straw. The only thing covering his body was a pair of floral swim trunks; plastic sunglasses rested in the ginger nest atop his head.

“I can’t stupid, I’m sick. I think I got food poisoning from Lee’s awful cooking.”

“It’s all in your head, George, come back home,” Fred said more firmly, taking another sip of the fruity drink in the souvenir cup.  

“I feel like complete shit, Fred. I can’t go anywhere.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Now come on over here so I can have a fun day off!” Fred demanded, hanging up the phone promptly. “Sheesh.”

George remained stiffly on the sheets, still as a statue, muttering, “I’m dying.” The phone chimed again with another call. Click.

“You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do!” Fred’s voice echoed through the dimly-lit room before the tone of an ended call took its place.

“Pardon my French,” said Fred to no one in particular, “but George is so tight, that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks, you’d have a diamond.”

Fred quickly abandoned the pool deck, instead continuing random antics around the vacant house, whether it was (horribly) playing his centuries-old clarinet, or prank calling gullible freshmen claiming he had an impending kidney transplant. This was the life.

“I’m so disappointed in George. Twenty bucks says he’s sitting in his car debating whether or not he should go out.”

Fred had hit the nail on the head. George sat in his four-wheeled hunk of junk for minutes, muttering to himself, “He’ll keep calling me. He’ll keep calling me until I go home. He’ll make me feel guilty. This is ridiculous! Okay, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go.” He turned the key of the run-down car, only for the engine to cough and heave. “Goddamn it!”

----

“Molly Weasley,” Molly introduced herself to the caller from her desk at the local real estate office. She held the landline phone in one hand, the other scratching numerals and figures onto some spreadsheets.

“This is Dolores J. Umbridge, Dean of Students. Are you aware that Fred is not at school today, Miss Weasley?” she asked punctually, her voice laced with irritation.

“Yes, I am. Poor Fred is home sick.”

“Are you also aware that Fred does not have what we consider an exemplary attendance record? He has missed an unacceptable number of school days.” Umbridge looked icy and collected on the outside, but deep down she was fuming with anger. “I have no reservation whatsoever about holding him back another year.”

“This is all news to me,” Molly replied, taken aback by Umbridge’s blunt threats.

“It usually is.” Dolores turned her attention to the hunky computer opposite her, ready with Fred’s academic profile, scanning the pixels signifying his number of absent days. When she finally opened her jaw to announce the number to Mrs. Weasley with a devious grin, she was horrified to see the number of days slowly ticking down to two.

“I asked for a car, I got a computer,” Fred said with an unamused but smug smirk as he typed lines of code into his computer back at the Weasley household, “how’s that for being born under a bad sign?”

“I can appreciate how this time of year, children are prone to taking the day off. However, in Fred’s case, I can assure you, he’s a very sick boy.” And with that, Dolores hung up on a sympathetic Molly, her tight brunette curls gradually frizzing from aggravation.

“I don’t trust this… Fred Weasley,” Umbridge confided to her secretary, Augustus Filch. “What’s so dangerous about a character like Fred is that he gives good students bad ideas. The last thing I need is fifteen-hundred Fred Weasley disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body.”

“Well, he makes you look like a bitch is what he does, Dolores,” Filch said with a smirk.

“You’re wrong,” Dolores asserted, fiery gaze piercing through Filch’s soul.

“Well, he is very popular. The sportos and motorheads, geeks, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads, they all adore him. They think he’s some righteous dude,” Filch said astutely.

“That is why I’ve got to catch him this time. Show these kids that you can’t just skip school nine times a semester like he has and get away with it!”

----

Mr. Binns, a prehistoric-looking man with novel-thick glasses, stood at the head of the classroom, giving his usual dull lecture. While he etched utter nonsense onto the chalkboard, you couldn’t help but release a bone-cracking yawn.

After years of sitting in your uncomfortable plastic chair, drowning out Mr. Binn’s boring babble, your saving grace arrived in the form of a grave Nurse Pomfrey.

You quickly slipped on your pale, leather jacket and stuffed your blank notebook into your backpack at the sight of the frail woman donning white scrubs like a dove, eager to escape class. Nurse Pomfrey had on a solemn face as she quickly whispered something into Mr. Binns’ ear before announcing to the uninterested class, “Y/N, Y/L/N, may I have a word with you?” You painted a look of surprise on your face before stepping into the hallway with the disturbed grey-haired woman.

“My dear, I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad tidings,” she said sorrowfully once out of the earshot of the small lecture hall, “your father called. Your grandmother has just passed.”

Your eyes welled with artificial tears, face drenched with heartbreak.

----

The landline echoed through Umbridge’s dreary, pale pink office.

“Dolores Umbridge,” she said pseudo-cheerfully into the handset held by her thulian claws.

“This is Phil Y/L/N,” a middle-aged man said, his voice slathered with a thick Chicago accent.

“How are you today, sir?” Dolores asked suspiciously.

“Well, today we’ve had a bit of bad luck. It’s been a tough morning,” he croaked, “now if you wouldn’t mind excusing Y/N, we have a lot of family business to attend to.”

“I’d be happy to, just produce a corpse and I’ll release Y/N. I want to see this ‘dead grandmother’ firsthand.” She peeled the phone away from her face, smiling valiantly at a mortified Filch, saying slyly, “It’s okay, it’s Fred Weasley. I’m setting a trap for him.”

“Dolores, I’m sorry, did you say you wanted to see a body?” an ill-tempered Mr. Y/L/N questioned in disbelief through the speaker.

“Yes. Just roll her old bones up here and I’ll gladly retrieve Y/N for you. That’s school policy.” Dolores looked so pleased with herself, a devilish smirk resting on her lips. The telephone in Filch’s office chimed, and he quickly dashed to answer it.

“Hello, Dolores Umbridge, Dean of Students’ office,” his gravelly voice answered.

“Hi. This is Fred Weasley. Can I speak to Miss Umbridge, please?” Filch’s mouth went desert-dry in horror, his aged, grey eyes bulging out of his skull. He dashed to a taunting Umbridge, jumping and waving for her to shut up.

“I’ll tell you what, if you don’t like my policies, you can come down here and kiss my-”

“Fred Weasley’s on line two, Dolores!” Umbridge’s eyes went as wide as saucers; her whole face, even her bright fuchsia lipstick, turned as white as a sheet.

She was quick to switch to line two, listening to Fred Weasley’s voice which filled the otherwise silent room.

“Miss Umbridge, I’m not feeling too well today,” Fred started, a smug and valiant grin on his face. He adjusted his clean and gelled hair, which perfectly complemented the perfectly-tailored suit he donned. “Would it be possible for Ron to bring home any assignments from my classes? Have a nice day.”

The only sound left in the office was the droning disconnect tone.

The ‘line one’ buttoned flashed bright red like a siren. With a shaky, wrinkled pointer finger painted with a coat of magenta nail polish, she hesitantly pressed the button, sucking in a breath.

“Mr. Y/L/N, I-I think I owe you an apology,” she said, mortified.

“I should say you do!” the deep voice on the other line boomed. Umbridge peeled open her lips for an apology, only to be cut off with, “Well I think you should be sorry for Merlin’s sake! A family member dies, and you insult me! What the hell’s the matter with you?”

“W-well I really don’t know. I didn’t think I was talking to you, I thought you were someone else,” Umbridge barely managed to spit out. “You know I would never deliberately insult you like that!”

“Find out where she is!” Umbridge hissed to an idle but nervous Filch, her palm covering the phone’s mouthpiece. He promptly scrambled around the surrounding metal filing cabinets, reaching for various binders and manilla folders.

“This isn’t over yet, do you read me?” The infuriated voice’s threat yelled into the frantic principal’s ear.

“Loud and clear, Mr. Y/L/N!” she responded while scouring the various sets of drawers for Y/N’s schedule.

“Call me sir, goddammit!”

“Yes sir!”

----

“That’s better. Mind your P’s and Q’s buster, and remember who you’re dealing with!” an exasperated George Weasley shouted into the kitchen’s phone, his voice at least an octave lower than usual. His look of fury was soon replaced with a smile from ear to ear, quite proud of the convincing-ness of his impression.  

A dashing, suit-clad Fred Weasley soon strutted into the lemon-yellow kitchen, charismatically introducing himself, “Weasley, Fred Weasley.”

George held his palm over the mouthpiece of the phone, asking, “I’m scared. What if she recognizes my voice?”

“Impossible. You’re doing great.”  

The self-conscious redhead brought the phone back to his ear, shouting “Umbridge!” furiously. Groaning echoed from the other end of the line. “Umbridge, calm down!”  

“I don’t have all day to bark at you, so I’ll make this short, and sweet. I want my child outside of the school in ten minutes by themself!”

Fred gave George a harsh tap on his shoulder, hissing, “That’s too suspicious! She’ll think something’s up!”

“You do it then!” the other twin whispered back.

“Talk.”

“You!”

“Talk.”

“Fine!” he fizzled. “Umbridge! Pay Attention!” The magenta-suited principal was scuttering around her office, frantically searching for your schedule and something to repair the escalating situation.

“Umbridge! Changed my mind. I want you out there with them, I’d like to have a few words with you!” Fred swiftly slapped the phone from George’s clutches, causing it to fall on the tile carelessly. The identical gingers both scrambled for the phone, ending up in George’s grasp once again.

He yelled to the mouthpiece rapidly, “On second thought, we don’t have time to talk right now! We’ll get together soon and have lunch!”

Fred kicked George’s rear hard, causing a small yelp to escape George’s lips. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” he spat at Fred, who quickly slammed the phone back to the base.

“Where’s your brain?” he harshly asked his irritated brother.

“Why’d you kick me?” George retorted, hurt.

“Where’s your brain?”

“Why’d you kick me?”

“Where’s your brain?”

“I asked you first!”

“How are we gonna pick up Y/N if Umbitch is out there with them?” Fred rhetorically asked, seething.

“I- I said for them to be alone and you freaked,” George stated, reverting back to his timid tendencies.

“Now, I didn’t… I didn’t hit you. I lightly slapped you.”

“You hit me.” Tension sliceable with a butterknife filled the kitchen.

“Look, don’t ask me to participate in your stupid antics if you don’t like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed. You make me come over here. You made me make a phony phone call to Dolores Umbridge? That woman could expel me, expel us, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings!”

“No… I didn’t deliberately hurt your feelings,” Fred said, his words tinged with guilt. “What’re you doing?” George grabbed his red hockey jersey and keys that previously laid on the island.

“I’m going back to Lee’s, Fred. I need some rest. Have a nice life.”

“No, no, c’mon. Don’t do that, George,” Fred pleaded ruefully, “George, come back. I didn’t mean to lose my temper. I’m sorry.”

“You serious?”

Fred gave a slow and sincere nod. George swiveled back around, setting his belongings back on the counter, his face lightened slightly.

“Now, to fix the situation, we’re gonna have to do something you’re not going to like.”

----

Fred and George peeled the sliding glass doors of the luxurious garage apart, revealing the interior, which was mainly lined with thousands of dollars worth of vintage car memorabilia, save for the treasured vehicle in the center.

“The 1961 Ford Anglia 105E Deluxe,” George said, his eyes pointed down at the prized pompadour blue car resting idly in front of the duo. Fred's eyes were also fixed on the vehicle, though his’ were illuminated with awe and mischief.

“Dad spent 3 years restoring this car,” he continued, hands behind his back, not daring to leave fingerprints on its shiny surface, “it is his love, it is his passion…”

“It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage,” Fred smirked, sauntering around the exterior of the automobile, slobbering all over the surface like a dog with fresh meat.

“Fred, what are you talking about?” George asked nervously, already knowing what Fred was plotting, “Dad loves this car even more than he loves you!”

“Fred, no.” Fred swiped his fingers over the perfect coat of paint, occasionally posing with the car as if he was a model on the front cover of a magazine.

“Que Bella!” he said with a chef’s kiss, still drooling over the car’s magnificence.

“Remember how insane he went when I snapped my retainer? And that was a tiny piece of plastic!” Fred paid an anxious George no mind, instead continuing his admiration for Arthur’s most valuable possession.

“George, I’m sorry, but we can’t pick up Y/N in that piece of scrap. He’d never believe Mr. Y/L/N would drive something like that!”

“It’s not a piece of scrap.”

Fred opened the driver’s side door, slowly sitting down in the comfortable cushioned seat, his umber eyes never breaking contact with George’s identical ones.

“He knows the mileage, Fred.”

“Look, this is real simple. Whatever miles we put on, we’ll take off.” Fred said, barely giving George the time of day.

“How?”

“We’ll drive home backwards.”

“No,” George said firmly, almost like a mother. Fred turned the key of the Anglia, its restored engine roaring ten times better than George’s hunk of junk’s.

“How about we rent a nice Cadillac, my treat!” He yelled as Fred slowly drove away, the revving of the vintage engine drowning out his voice. George stood frozen in disbelief, before Fred slowly backed up, beckoning George to join him.

With a heavy heart, George warily climbed into the back seat of the vehicle. And with that, Fred floored the gas, speeding off towards the Shermer High.

----

“I had a grandmother once,” Umbridge awkwardly stated, in an attempt to soothe your heart overcome with (fake) grief. “Two, actually.”

The suburbs outside of the Windy City lived up to their name today; Umbridge’s frizzy brown curls swayed in the strong breeze. The temperature today was the best it had been since last Autumn; it was a given that Fred would skip.

You patiently waited on the concrete steps outside the school, Umbridge continuing her “comforting” words, attempting to stitch the wounds caused by your grandmother’s staged death. You weren’t focused on the thulian tyrant, however, instead, your eyes waited on the road for the sight of a ruby-red-haired boy.

“Between grief and nothing, I’d take grief,” Umbridge said flatly.

“Great,” you replied softly, eager to shut the toadish old lady up. She opened her magenta-tinted lips to add something else, but she decided against it, promptly shutting her mouth without a sound escaping.

The stentorian roaring of the engine residing in cerulean Ford Anglia filled the silent air and idle parking lot, lightening your spirits instantly. While you didn’t doubt that Fred would’ve shown up eventually, his timing was impeccable. It didn’t hurt that he showed up in a killer ride, either.

A tall, lanky man drenched in a long beige trench coat, horn-rimmed sunglasses, and a businessman-looking fedora, which masked his fiery orange hair, emerged from the car, leaning against its body.

“Oh Y/N honey, hurry along now,” the stranger in disguise bellowed, his voice slightly higher pitched than ‘Mr. Y/L/N’s’ from the phone, a thickly-slathered Chicago accent present nonetheless.

“I guess that’s my dad.”

You grabbed the annoying principal’s wrinkly, cold hand, reciting, “Miss Umbridge, Dolores. You’re a beautiful woman, I wanna thank you for your warmth and compassion.”

A furious Ron watched from the scene play out from the large front windows of the school, immediately recognizing Fred and his infuriating antics with a scowl. Why should he get to skip while the rest of us have to stay? I’ve gotta catch him.

Umbridge looked near disturbed at your counterfeit words on thankfulness, before you eagerly stepped down to the car, giving ‘Mister Y/L/N’ a quick hug.

“Do you have a kiss for Daddy?” Fred jokingly asked with a smirk.

“Are you kidding?” you replied, leaning into his soft lips for a passionate kiss, which maybe would have escalated a little further if he didn’t drag you in the passenger seat of the Anglia.

“So that's how it is in their family,” Umbridge uttered as she watched the nearly-French kiss perched from her spot at the top of the stairway. She swiftly pivoted around walking to the front entrance to the school, when Fred floored the Ford again, its loud engine roaring off into the distance.

“Hi Georgie, you comfortable?” you asked, eyes towards the crampted back seat.

Once the three of you were out of Umbridge’s eyeline, a compact George sprung up from the lonely backseat, saying, “Hi, Y/N. No.”

“So, what're we gonna do?” you asked the dashingly handsome driver next to you with a smile.

“The question isn’t: What are we going to do? The question is: What aren’t we going to do?”

“Don’t say we’re not going to take the car home. Please don’t say that we’re not going to take the car home,” George mumbled, hopeful that Fred would comply, though he already knew that Fred would be doing the exact opposite.

If you had access to a car like this, Fred mentally narrated, gesturing to the amenities-rich Anglia, would you take it back right away? Me neither.

And with that, Fred recklessly rounded the bendy road, speeding off towards downtown Chicago.

[finiteuniverse13]

Bravo's Banned List

With the help of @bravo-four-seal-team, @@jayhalsteadfan-2417 and @rebelwrites, we made a list.

A list, posted on various walls throughout the Naval base, the plane and the cage room. About 1/3 of it is typed up, the rest is in hastily written pen. Made by Blackburn to try and corral Bravo. It's doing its best.

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @bravo-four-seal-team @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

Just so you're all aware, this is a 6.5-page document.

0: On the days of Adam and Swanny’s Death, leave the group be to remember them. I will not protect you.

1: Brock Is Not Allowed Coffee. No exceptions.

1.1: Do not leave Metal alone with Brock when Coffee is around.

2: Dick jokes are not required in briefings

3: If a single one of you bastards get between me and my coffee, we will be having issues

5: You made the dog sad; you die.

8: DO NOT GIVE THEM NERF GUNS

9: WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM WATER GUNS

9.1: STICKS DO NOT GIVE THEM STICKS THEY WILL PRETEND THEY ARE GUNS

10: Dirt bikes (don’t ask)

11: ARCHERY IS A BIG NO

12: FISHING. WHY AM I BANNING FISHING

13: Fire. That is all

14: KNIVES. WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM KNIVES?

15: LADDERS (NEVER AGAIN)

16: PLASTIC CUTLERY ONLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE THEM METAL CUTLERY

16.1: Scratch that, they stab people with the metal cutlery. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They can eat with their hands.

17: MEMES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE MEETING ROOM

18: Horse riding. (METAL IT IS NOT A TACTICAL DISMOUNT ITS CALLED FALLING AND GETTING A CONCUSSION)

19: BOY BANDS (not allowed to be played on the plane)

19.1: GIRL BANDS (for the love of god, they will try and imitate them)

19.2 RAP MUSIC (they think they are the next Eminem and will make your ears bleed)

20: Do not tell Jason he is not allowed to do something. He finds a way to do it

20.1: Apparently Ray will do the exact same without question

21: Do not leave any members of the team with upper brass. (How did you make an Admiral with years of combat CRY!)

22: Clay is under Jason’s protection don’t go after him they will not find your body

22.1: If Clay calls Jason dad just leave it ok

22.2: Actually, check on Jason, he’s been standing staring for the past hour now

23: Hairdryers are banned (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR BEARD CAUGHT SONNY)

24: Only Trent is allowed to call Metal by his legal first name. Ensign Williams learnt that one the hard way.

25: Paintball is banned from the base the last time it was extreme and got violent

26: The transformers movies because clay tried to do a stunt it ended badly

27: Thumbtacks apparently

28: Any Marvel movie (Jason you’re not Captain America)

28.1: DC movies are out as well

28.2: Disney Princess movies as well (don’t ask)

30: Do not leave phone unlocked around Sonny, he will not hesitate to change everything

36: DO NOT LET THEM GET SO DRUNK THEY START SINGING. IF I HEAR IN THE NAVY ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS

37: IF THERE IS SILENCE DROP EVERYTHING AND START HUNTING AND PANICKING

38: Grenade launchers are not required for every mission Trent

39: WHO GAVE METAL A SWORD

42: Yes, Clay does know an Admiral by name. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

45: If Clay starts angrily ranting in a foreign language, don't worry. He's thinking out loud, not plotting to destroy the base

45.1: If Clay is calmly talking in a foreign language just back away slowly

48: SpongeBob is a Bad Idea because they are way too Annoying and make References (I’m looking at you, Clay)

52: Sharpies. When I find whoever gave me this sharpie tattoo sleeve, there will be hell to pay

56: DO NOT LET CLAY HAVE A GRIMM REAPER OUTFIT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES NEARLY GIVEN SONNY AND TRENT A HEART ATTACK AT 3 AM

57: Red paint. I went to check something at 3 am and Clay was painting a satanic ritual on the floor

58: 3 am checks are a bad idea. (I have seen things, people!)

62: Explosives are to be locked away when not on mission Sonny and Clay will try and play catch with a live homewrecker

62.1: I expected Metal as a Master Chief to know better - he falls under the same rule as Clay and Sonny.

63: Don't wake Clay when he is sleeping back away slowly and leave the room

64: If I'm sleeping, back away and leave the room. Interrupt me if they've broken a rule, or if the base is actively being bombed. If not, I don't care.

65: Have multiple phone chargers or they will disappear and you’re not getting them back

68: If you call Clay anything other than a nickname expect to get punched or stabbed or sniped in the ass when least expected

68.1: Metal will stab you. Please remember he has a shovel and lye in his truck (WHY DO YOU HAVE IT)

68.2: Don't try to take the shovel and lye off of Metal

69: NEVER say the number 69 around them they are all immature children and expect tongue in cheek comments

70: NEVER interrupt Sonny when he is eating breakfast, he is grumpy in the morning

72: If they are all asleep make no sound - YOU WAKE THEM THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE

73: For the love of god, stop giving Clay earth mineral nicknames. This is the third time this week I've watched Sonny empty limestone dust from his pack

75: Do not give them hammers! What is wrong with you people?

79: Do Not talk to Trent unless it’s after 2 coffees

83: For the love of god, don't ask Metal if he ever did nude modelling in art school. He will begin stripping, literally anywhere

91: Cerberus is a good boy and you hurt Brock you die

98: Super Glue (never again)

99: MY COFFEE IS OFF LIMITS WHOEVER PUT SALT IN IT WILL PAY

100: Do not give in to their peer pressure while they are drunk, I will not be doing it again

100.1: WHY AM I HEARING IN THE NAVY AGAIN?!

100.2: Sweet Caroline won't work twice

100.3: WHY ARE YOU SINGING BARBIE

100.4: SONNY, CLAY IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL

103: Don't tell Sonny he looks good in pink because you better believe he will keep wearing it (and probably some girl clothes too) to keep getting compliments

114: I ALREADY WROTE SUPER GLUE WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE IT AGAIN

115: HAIR DYE (Why did you dye Metal and Trent’s hair pink?!)

115.1: Face paint (Sonny, their faces did not need to match their hair)

116: Do NOT touch Clay, Charlie team learnt that, and someone ended up nearly losing a finger. (And it wasn’t because of the dog)

117: If they offer you a drink whilst smirking DO NOT take it

118: Sea shanties – if I hear one more SEA SHANTY while we are FLYING

119: If you hear someone shout incoming, run, it’s not an attack, it is Bravo, someone has done something and they’re coming to tell me

120: Vegemite is not allowed in the base after Jason let Clay eat it

121: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (JASON I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO ACT LIKE LEO IT WAS A BAD MOVE)

122: Hawaii 5-0, if I hear one more thing about how we should hang people of the rook of buildings I am going to shoot someone

124: Mortal Kombat (Clay was acting like Scorpion for a month)

130: Itching Powder (looking at you Brock)

131: DO NOT TOUCH JASONS TOMATOES - you will get a bamboo cane jammed into your thigh

134: Capes - YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN CLAY STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN FLY BY JUMPING OFF THE HOOCHES

134.1: Edna Mode said NO CAPES - I EXPECT NO CAPES WORN BY ANYONE ON MY TEAM

138: Laser Tag is fun until someone gets hurt (Sonny and Clay you know what happened)

138.1: Laser Tag! (Ray needed to go to the hospital guys, come on)

143: Basketball. My nose will never be straight again.

144: Bravo and Ice skates don’t mix (the only person good on them is Jason but no other member of Bravo is allowed on the ice again)

144.1: Same goes for rollerblades

145: Ash Spencer is not allowed to be alone with Clay (Jason punched him last time he was on base)

145.1: Do not leave Jason, Metal or Sonny alone with Ash Spenser, it’s going to end up with a murder charge.

146: Clay is Jason’s adopted kid and needs to be supervised when Jason is away

151: SLIME - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GIVE THEM SLIME

152: GLITTER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

153: SCISSORS - Jase cut a chunk of Clay’s hair in the night now the base is a war zone

153.1: DONT FUCK WITH COVERBOY'S HAIR see point 68 for consequences

154: NAIR (why do you even have it?)

156: Call Of Duty (Clay must be supervised when playing it)

157: Do Not leave Clay unattended with Metal (They are both recovering from the ONE CHIP/DEATH CHIP Challenge)

158: Marshmallows (don’t ask)

163: The Hunger Games (are not a good training exercise)

164: The Olympus Has Fallen movies are not allowed to be mentioned in any given time)

173: If you mention the word ice-cream just run, run for your life

176: If I am sleeping STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

177: Yelling FOR NARNIA is not an appropriate battle cry

178: The Fast And Furious movies (Clay you are not Brian so stop)

182: Nap time is important if their asleep do something else but if you wake them run like hell

190: Any movies about WAR are BANNED (I need a drink to talk about that one)

200 (From Bravo): Blackburn isn't allowed any more paper

200.1 (From Bravo): or pens

200.2: (Blackburn) Handcuffs. They handcuffed me to my desk and wrote that

200.3 (Blackburn): Bravo will not be allowed to tell their Commanding Officer what to do

202: Who keeps giving them superglue? This is the 8th time we are having to unglue Sonny and Clay’s hands

203: Do not let any of them take point on Briefing EVER

205: Are you serious? Paperclips! Do not give them PAPERCLIPS

206: Leaving anyone unattended with fire is a bad idea - I can still smell burning

210: This is Sparta (Jason don't kick people off the roof)

210.1: JASON I SAID NO KICKING PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE OFF THE ROOF

213: Ash Spenser is not allowed on base. DEVGRU heard about what kind of dad he is, and now its kill-on-sight

213.1: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ASH BEING ON BASE

214: Puppy dog eyes because Clay has been using them on anyone to get out of doing paperwork

215: RAY STOP DOING JASONS PAPERWORK

216: GO TO A HOSPITAL IF INJURED, TRENT HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU LOT

217: THE GLEE CAST SOUNDTRACK IS NOT TO BE USED ON THE BASE

218: DO NOT PUT LION KING ON - they will cry like babies and there’s no consoling them over Mufasa

220: If I have to explain why BRAVO will not be joining teaching GREEN TEAM please see rule 1 and understand from that then ask the Green Team Instructor. (Brock terrified them by running the O Course in 30 minutes, all because someone gave him coffee)

220.1: And yes, that is the on the 50-minute-record O course. The time hasn’t been counted since it involved performance-enhancing substances

221: WHO THE HELL INTRODUCED THEM TO FROZEN

221.1 NO I DONT WANT TO BUILD A BLOODY SNOWMAN

221.2: WE WERE DEPLOYED TO SERBIA YOU BASTARDS

222: Gray’s anatomy (That is all)

227: VAPES - YOU DONT SMOKE AND ARE NOT PUFF THE MAGIC FUCKING DRAGON (clay I’m looking at you)

228: HATS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIEFINGS (Sonny you know what you did)

229: MAGIC MIKE AND MAGIC MIKE XXL (still haunts my dreams)

233: I am begging you can you please BE NICE TO THE FLEET ADMIRAL (it's the 3rd time he's left in tears)

234: Chocolate - just run ok

235: Please stop re-enacting the screen from titanic when we are on a boat (I’m looking at you Brock)

235: PIZZA NIGHT IS A FREE FOR ALL AND IF YOU DONT WANT A BROKEN NOSE JUST BACK AWAY

236: Jokes. JOKES ARE BANNED - IF I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I WON'T BE HAPPY – NO ITS NOT FINE TO JOKE ABOUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED CLAY

236.1: STAB WOUNDS ARE NOT ADDITIONAL POCKETS

237: Monopoly got violent last time and Jason got punched

237.1: In fact, any board games turn violent even snakes and ladders

237.2: Board games. Just please stop playing board games

240: Why am I revisiting the nerf guns people? IT WAS A FAMILY BARBECUE! (You lot need to learn to let your kids win!)

241: Brock is banned from Cooking - I do not want food poisoning again

244: WE DO NOT NEED A FLASH MOB EVERY TIME DONT STOP MOVING BY SCLUB 7 COMES ON

246: If they pass out around the fire pit for the love of god move them Clay and Sonny tend to like melting the sole of their boots on the flames even when passed out

251: Plastic cups only (this rule is to stop sonny from smashing them)

254: Why am I needing to revisit Sharpies? They aren’t allowed them, give them Crayola's or crayons

254.1: Scrap that YOU CAN’T EAT THE CRAYONS

256: Clay you are not Spiderman get off the walls

257: WHO GAVE COFFEE TO BROCK!!

257.1: THIS IS RULE ONE ON THE LIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

258: Don't mention Hawaii five 0 just don't

258.1: They will attempt the intro to it, it’s just painful

259: Don't mention Harry Potter because they will all cry over different characters deaths

287: Soup is now banned (Ray. I honestly thought you were the normal one of the team. I am disappointed)

321: If you see Clay and Sonny cuddling just walk away, pretend you didn’t see anything, one of them had a bad day and the other is the only one they will confine in

322: Don't mention the Philippines or India just don't

330: If Metal and Trent are talking, just leave them be. (No one wants to know if Metal is yelling about something stupid Trent did)

331: Popcorn is not allowed on base it ended up in everyone's gear

342: Non-Aerosol Deodorant. (Two of them tried to eat it before realising it wasn't edible)

344: Aerosol Deodorant. (Metal and Sonny used it with lighters. to create a flamethrower)

344.1: Side note LIGHTERS ARE BAD

345: Headphones. DO NOT ASK

346: Rubber bands are not slingshots

FINAL NOTE: FROM BRAVO - BLACKBURN LOVES US REALLY PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE LIST ITS ALL LIES

[awhphooey]

Au list with basic descriptions:

1. Triplet trap - HDL are raised seperate and swap places to mess with their guardians, only to find out they’re brothers

2. Tiktok - the kids have tiktok

3. Sidekick Huey - Fenton agrees to let Huey become his sidekick, and Gyro makes Huey some gear

4. Highschool - Della, Donald, Fenton and Gyro highschool shenangains

5. Phineas and Ferb - Perry the Platypus is a secret agent in the DT universe

6. Genderbend - exactly what it says

7. Human - what it says

8. Witch and Raven - Webby is a witch with Lena as her raven familiar. They need to find help and defeat Magica

9. Hue-E - Wall-E Buey au!

10. Spiderwebbs - webby is a spider-person!!

11. Avengers - the avengers are replaced by Ducktales characters, but the au mainly focuses on HDLW + co

12. Next Gen - next generation au, you can find more info on @dtnextgenau

13. Castle McDuck - medieval au that focuses on Gos, a knight supposed to guard HDLW, and her crush on a witch in the forest sworn to protect magical creatures

14. Ghost House - HDL, Gosalyn and Boyd are ghosts in a house turned into a tourist attraction by the Sabrewings. Lena is a tour guide who can talk to ghosts, and Webby is a YouTuber who wants to catch a ghost on camera

15. Love Louie - Love, Simon Bouie au!

16. Feelings - in which the McDuck clan has powers that are highly based on their feelings

17. Apocalypse - zombie apocalypse au!!

18. Heroes - highschool au with the kids but HDLW have superpowers

19. Duckfalls - @duckfallsau

20. Over the Garden Wall - HDL take the place of Wirt and Greg

21. Pets - just an au where the kids all have pets

22. Pirate au (dewlet) - Webby and Violet are both pirate captains looking for a missing treasure

23. Youtubers - HDW are you tubers

24. Stranger Tales - Strangerthings au, self explanatory jsjsjs

25. Gos and Vi - Austin & Ally au, Gosalyn is Austin and Violet is Ally

26. Villain Webby - webby is raised by FOWL

27. Villain Violet - Magica manipulates Violet into doing what Lena failed to do

28. Villain Lena - Lena is a monster, quite literally, and Magica has better control over her

29. Cast Members - the kids work at disney

30. House Hunt - Fenro adopts HDLW after Donald dies in an accident. They have to find a house that suits them all

31. Dell&Webbs - Della comes back early and HDL never meet Scrooge and webby

32. Heathers - Heathers au with Lena as JD and Webby as Veronica

33. Octonauts - the Octonauts are hero’s in the DT universe

34. Moon twins - Donald gets stuck on the rocket with Della and they both get shot to the moon, Scrooge raises HDL

35. Moon Triplets - Selene is the triplets other parent and they have powers relating to the moon

36. Hero Dewlyn - Dewey is an ameture hero and Gosalyn became Quiverwing

37. Reversal Au - total character reversal au

38. Mark Beaks isn’t an asshole au - Mark is nice jsjdjd

39. HDLW Guardians of The Galaxy - HDLW and co are basically space Pirates and aliens and they’re p cool

40. Adult Guardians of the Galaxy - follows the movies

41. Kid Nation - go watch the show on YouTube and you’ll understand

42. BMC - BMC au,,, idk what to say here jsjsjs

43. Coraline - This one has been done a lot but yeah

44. Donald and the Phantoms - Julie and the Phantoms au, Donald is Julie

45. Huey and the Phantoms - same thing ^ but Huey is Julie

46. Tales of Duckburg - Tales of Arcadia au covering Trollhunters, 3 Below and Wizards

47. Sherlock au - fenro au, Gyro is Sherlock and Fenton is John

48. Invisible Sister - I’m gonna stop explaining ones based off movies lmao

49. HalloweenTown

50. Coffee shop - rare pair coffee shop au! The shop is run by husbands Duckworth and Scrooge and the rare pairs are either workers or customers

51. Monster au - Gyro accidentally turns everyone in the bin into monsters before a Halloween party

52. Triplet Age Swap - HDL realize they’ve been lied to about their age. Dewey is the oldest, Louie is the middle child, and Huey is the youngest

53. Kid Swap - the kids swap personalities

54. iZombie

55. Team Magic Band au - Team Magic starts a band to help Lena vent her worries and stress

56. Inheritance Au - HDLW inherit the company when Scrooge passes

57. Age Gap - Huey is 16, Dewey is 11, and Louie is 6

58. Umbrella Academy au

59. Voltron au

60. Alter Ego au - when the kids joke about one of their alter egos (Phooey, Kablooey, Zooey, etc) they appear

61. Elements au - the kids all have the ability to control an element

62. Dad Donald - Donald is the kids real dad and Della is just their aunt who gets lost in space

63. Welcome to Hell

64. Regular - no crazy adventures, just a normal boring family with normal issues like crushes and quarrels

65. Spiderduck - DT universe but Fenton is Spider-Man not Gizmoduck

66. Santa Scrooge - Scrooge is secretly Santa

67. She-Ra

68. Z Nation

69. 2D Gos - Gos from the original Dwd came through the portal on accident and is stuck in the DT17 universe

70. Locke & Key

71. Light Up - all the kids have light up shoes. Doesnt have a plot yet

72. Restaurant - Donald owns a restaurant and the kids work there

73. Spider-Wing - Gosalyn is a spider person

74. Spiderverse - my Spider-Man aus and @/stevenfallsvs spiderhuey au

75. Darkwing Gizmoduck swap - Drake is an intern working for Gyro and accidentally takes the Gizmosuit. Fenton is an actor who bases his hero persona off his childhood hero.

76. De Spell Sisters - Lena finds Violet as a baby and raises her as her sister under magicas watch

77. Teachers - Fenton and Gyro are CTE teachers at a highschool and their classes are always trying to set them up

78. Graveyard Shift - Violet and Lena work at a graveyard during college, and accidentally raise the ghosts of Webby, Fenton, Gyro, Della and Donald

79. Hollywood Arts - somewhat of a victorious au but actually not cause i just couldn’t think of a better name

80. Bolt

81. Polar Express

Thank you for reading that if you did, and if you ask for a description of one of my aus I’m just gonna link this post and the number it is on the list

!! List will be updated with each au !!

[blissfulalchemist]

multiples of 5 + get a room xx

Hello Stella this was a lot but! here we are!

5. What do they like the most about each other?

Both can very much appreciate their shamelessness for public flirting and PDA. We won’t also state the other obvious thing both like about the other. On a sappy level though Hayat most likes Mason’s ability to find the darkest corner of any room no matter how bright it is. Truly that is a fucking skill and just HOW!? can you make that happen sir???? What Mason likes the most about Hayat is the way he’s ready with something to lighten most deadly situations that can make you want to smile or laugh if it was any other setting other than impending doom. Seriously sir, you are literally bleeding out and you’re trying to make a joke about getting laid right here and now???

10. How do they resolve their arguments?

Both are terrible in that they will kind of just ignore it or just put it to the side and then never come back to it until they have too, which means it built up a bit more than just something that could have been a smaller argument. Typically though most resolutions happen at night and on roofs or balconies and the like. Life’s a lot calmer during that time of day and its also easier on Mason’s senses which in the heat of the moment are harder to control and that extra stimulation isn’t helpful in quelling any kind of anger or feelings of upset. This is usually when Hayat will take the initiative to leave if Mason hasn’t done it by that point. In the end one of them will come to the other and get it resolved not too long after. Both are man enough to admit when they were in the wrong.

Rarely (surprisingly) there is little make up sex. Most of the bigger arguments are in relation to things that are emotionally deep and intimate, which both have to relearn or find out and you can’t just do that with sex. 

15. Who pays for the food the most, when they go out?

Hayat. Not that Mason doesn’t have the means or is opposed to it, Hayat just beats him to the punch and is paying before it can even process in Mason’s head that he should pay for food every now and then (even id he himself doesn’t eat very much).

20. Do they give each other nicknames?

Mason calls Hayat by two different nicknames. The first one being the nickname Hiya as this is something approved by Hayat himself, though he still rolls his eyes over Hiya picking that kind of nickname as its some version of a pun technically. Mason also calls him “Handsome” which made Hayat a bit uncomfortable for a while there. This was even said before they even slept together and god Hayat thought he was going to die or hit him eventually as well....Bobby also called him “Handsome”. Given a little time it started to change and Hayat warmed up to the name and by Book 3 happens that old association really leaves him when hearing Mason say it. 

Hayat will shorten Mason’s name to Mase now and then, but this is also a sort of pun name as he can threaten people with the phrase “I’m gonna Mase you” which basically means��“I’m gonna send my anger inclined boyfriend at you”. This threat is very rare and only is said when the timing is right. (Yes my son needs help). Hayat also refers to Mason as “Eshgham” which translates to “My Love” or “Delbar-am” that translates to “One who stole my heart” when they’re being a little sappy and also “Kharâbetam” which translates to “I’m ruined for you” typically when its more private behind closed doors as it’s a bit more intense than the other two.

25. How do they comfort each other when one of them is scared?

Hayat’s a bit better at it than Mason in comforting but there’s a check in between the two of them. Sometimes its silent and both can tell where the other stands in their fear. Other times it is asked aloud and also paired with a touch of some kind. Even when these two are asking it jokingly there is always a hint of looking out for the other and just making sure that there’s truth to what is said. Honestly just being near one another is enough to comfort when they’re scared. 

30. Do they attend any clubs or formal parties together?

Neither are really suited to formal parties to be honest. They will if they must or if its something that is involved with family and such, but neither are really the formal type. 

35. How do they spend time if the other is gone?

Both have a life outside of the other and so many times they will partake in that side. Hiya has a good amount of friends that he likes to spend time with and Mason also has Unit Bravo along with work so he can focus on that.

40. Thoughts on kids?

Hayat likes kids and never plans on ever having them unless it feels right or just happens. Mason’s personality doesn’t lend itself to being kid friendly but is mostly indifferent.

45. How are birthdays spent?

Hey Mason! You’ve never had a birthday party! Well guess what! You’re getting a birthday party! It won’t be very big or elaborate but it’ll be a small celebration with cake, balloons, games, music, and the party hats. All planned by Hiya and encouraged by Felix.

Hayat typically ends up having a small party as Tina likes to have fun and then his family like to celebrate so they have a mini party. However! Hayat was born on Leap Year and you can bet that there is an even bigger party that is themed with the appropriate age so at his 2020 celebration he will be 7! such a big year :’).

Once all the day party stuff is over though there’s a good amount of private celebrating happening. The gift that is consistent between them involves a weekend away.

50. Who makes the best flower crown?

Hayat. He doesn’t make them often and really ends up needing help but when he gets something he’ll give them to members of the team. Mason isn’t a fan to say the least but for Hiya he’ll reduce the scowl.

55. Are they a super sappy couple?

Sappy as in kissy faces and nicknames and just like adorable-ness? No…..well the kissy faces sure but if it goes on long enough you may want to avert your gaze. Look they are very forward with each other and they don’t show any signs of being uncomfortable with it. In private you get the more sappy moments but even then there’s this casualness with them that leads to it seeming only as a physical relationship. Really it’s more Hayat that can be the sappy one.

60. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Mason primarily (Sir I cannot wait for you to meet the Ex). Hayat doesn’t like to let himself turn to violence so it would take a lot of anger to do so.

65. Who loves kids more?

This would go to Hayat more. He acts somewhat like a kid himself and he can keep them fairly entertained and help them feel reassured if they’re scared. Hayat comes from a fairly big family and there were always kids around so he enjoys their company.

70. Who is the hopeless romantic?

I have to give this one to Hayat as he can be a bit more of an outward hopeless romantic. I do believe that Mason is the secretive hopeless romantic that isn’t fully aware that he is.

75. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?

Mason doesn’t listen to much music as its hard to find things that are easy to handle with the heightened senses.

Hayat likes more of the pop punk music. Bands like Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Reliant K, AWOLNATION, Walk the Moon, The Killers, etc. To compensate for the harshness of some of the songs Hayat has made a specific playlist of acoustic covers and softer songs to play when Mason is near and not really up for enduring his normal playlists. 

80. What do they love about each other the most?

Hayat loves the genuineness of Mason. Like admittedly there’s some secrets and like holding back but that more stems from needing trust in order to talk about that kind of stuff. With Mason its really a “What you see is what you get” kind of person and more importantly with this is that Mason’s actions match with what he’s saying. That is just so important for Hiya now as it gives him the most comfort in pursuing something with him.

For Mason its this ability for Hayat to be invading but also keep his distance. Hayat will press and stick close to Mason with emotional stuff but he’s not pushy about it and will let Mason take the time needed to figure stuff out. Hayat doesn’t also just brush Mason off with his needs or attitude. Mason wants to be close to someone but wants a sort of setting where you’re alone together (like you and your partner are in the same room but doing different things with the occasional shout out) and Hayat lets that happen.

85. Who accidental sets something on fire?

I’d say both as one day that lighter’s gonna get Mason in trouble but it would be more Hayat. Sometimes he likes to just fiddle around with tech stuff and the wrong wires get crossed and soon there’s a mini fire happening. What can you do?

90. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

Both, but Mason would pick the kitten/cat up and bring them home to Hayat more than a puppy. Just seems a bit more like a cat person. 

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 2

New York & Saturday Night Live: April 2017    

Word count: 4.8k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

Sorry it's been so long since the last chapter but I'm finally back at work after 75 days in lockdown. Updates will probably be a bit more spaced out than they were in Parts 1 & 2 but please know that I am still working away at it and I already have so many future chapters planned out that I'm really excited for.

This chapter is a bit of a long one and I thought about splitting it in half but figured you deserved the treat after waiting patiently.

Don't forget to leave a comment if you're enjoying the series and let me know what you think.

>Instagram posts

By the time Aurora woke up Monday morning, Harry’s side of the bed was cold, and he had long since left for the day. Since he would be appearing in multiple sketches on the upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, he was needed for rehearsals all week. Aurora was thankful that she and the rest of the band weren’t needed until Friday and instead she was able to sleep in. Their flight had arrived in New York well after midnight and by the time they made their way to the tower they had both decided to head straight to bed. Aurora was fairly certain her father would have still been awake, working in his lab but she was far too tired for a reunion after hours on a plane.

Once she managed to roll herself out of bed and get dressed for the day ahead, Aurora made her way down the hall to the open plan kitchen/living area of the penthouse with its wide, floor to ceiling wall of windows looking out over the sprawling expanse of Central Park. Both Tony and Steve were sitting on the stools at the kitchen’s island bench, waiting for their daughter to wake up. Steve had seen Harry earlier that morning as he was leaving, and Steve had been coming back from his early morning run. Both he and Tony were eager to have their daughter home for an entire week and while Steve was happy to sip on his tea and read the morning while they waited, Tony was practically vibrating in his seat with barely contained excitement. Steve’d had to stop him twice from having JARVIS ‘accidentally’ wake Aurora up, so Tony was unsurprisingly the first out of his seat when she finally appeared.

Aurora was grinning widely and broke into a fit of giggles as her father rushed over and lifted her off the ground in a crushing hug. Despite having seen each other only two weeks ago, the craziness of the wedding hadn’t really allowed them much time to just hang out together and prior to the wedding they had spent a solid 5 months apart given the last minute changes to their Christmas plans in the wake of Johannah’s death.

“Missed you Dad,” she said, returning the tight hug.

“Missed you too Kiddo,” Tony replied, finally setting her back on her feet and allowing her to cross the room and fall into Steve’s arms.

The small family spent the entire day together, watching a movie and then moving down to Tony’s workshop in the afternoon so that he could work on a prototype for Stark Industries while Steve and Rori sketched on the sofa. It was reminiscent of how they had spent many evenings shortly after Rori first came to live with her fathers, the memories of those long nights brought a soft smile to her face as she sketched Dumm-e and Butterfingers, where they were attempting to help Tony, but instead were causing more problems than they were able to solve. Harry found them all there when he arrived back to the tower later that evening, grinning excitedly as he launched into his recounting of his first day with the SNL cast.

xXx

Since first meeting her father’s childhood best friend, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, three years ago, Aurora had slowly come to see him as a member of the family. For the first year that they had both lived in the tower together, they had coexisted amicably but had been far from friends, nothing close to the way Aurora was with the rest of the team. Even as her relationship with Sam had flourished quickly as he acclimatized to life as an Avenger she had struggled to be around Bucky. He hadn’t held her distant behaviour against her, knowing that while most of the team had been able to separate the actions of the Winter Soldier from Bucky himself, Aurora had struggled to accept into her home the man who had tried, on several occasions, to assassinate one of her fathers. Following the Columbia Shooting, she had surprised him by seeking him out during her recovery and their friendship had bloomed after her amputation surgery. Now, many years later Bucky easily filled the role of another uncle in Aurora’s life, a shift that had made Steve overwhelmingly happy.

It was late Tuesday afternoon and Steve went in search of his daughter, having not seen her since they’d shared lunch together. He expected to see her in the workshop with Tony, however his husband said he hadn’t seen her since breakfast. With the help of JARVIS he finally found her on one of the lower floors, the one shared by Sam, Bucky and Rhodey when he was in town. She was in the living room sitting across the table from Bucky, a game of Battleship between the pair. Steve suppressed a chuckle as he joined the pair, well aware by now of how much his best friend and his daughter enjoyed playing a variety of tabletop games together. Many arguments had been started over a game of backgammon or canasta.

“Who’s winning?” he asked, pulling up a chair beside Aurora and throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m kicking his ass,” she smiled.

“She’s getting cocky,” Buck replied, “and it’s going to backfire on her in a minute.”

“Of course it is,” Aurora said, her tone dripping in sarcasm.

The game continued for a while, Aurora cheering and taunting when she sunk another of Bucky’s ships, mocking him mercilessly when he continued to miss her own turn after turn.

“I don’t understand why you always beat me,” he moaned when she won. “I mean surely your luck has to run out eventually.”

“It’s not luck, Bucky,” Rori laughed. “It’s about strategy and reading your opponent and I hate to tell you, but you are entirely predictable.”

“I’ll have you know I’m an excellent battle strategist,” Bucky retorted.

“Apparently you’re not,” Aurora bit back, a wide smile gracing her face. Steve let out a loud peel of laughter at their bickering.

“Excuse me,” JARVIS interrupted. “Miss Stark, you requested that I alert you when young Mr Styles returned to the tower.”

“Thanks J,” Rori replied, kissing her fathers’ cheek and jumping to her feet, ready to head towards the elevator.

“Miss Stark?” Steve asked.

“He said that Dad programmed him to call me that and no marriage certificate is gonna change it,” Rori explained with a roll of her eyes. “Dad could probably get him to stop but honestly I like it. I didn’t get to be a Stark for very long so it’s nice to be one when I come home.”

“You’ll always be a Stark, bug,” Steve promised, returning the kiss on her cheek and watching as she left the room in search of Harry on the upper floors of the Tower.

“Enjoying having her home?” Bucky asked.

“Absolutely,” Steve answered. “I miss her when she’s not here. Tony does too, even if he won’t admit it. She grew up too fast on us.”

“Can’t have been easy not meeting her until she was practically all grown up,” Bucky pointed out.

“No, you’re right,” Steve agreed. “Sometimes I wish we’d got to raise her, but I’d also never want to have taken away any of the time she got with her mom.”

“You and Tony ever think of having another kid?”

“We’ve talked about,” Steve said. “It’s not very easy process. The worlds come a long way since the 40’s Buck, but it’s still hard for two men to adopt. It certainly doesn’t help that we’ve got such dangerous jobs.”

“Guess that makes sense,” Bucky replied. “Never known you to back down from something just because it’s hard or because someone tells you no, though.”

“You might have a point there. Seems we’ve managed to accidently adopt Peter over the years so maybe we’re just meant to keep collecting teenagers.”

xXx

Something Aurora loved about the city was the way that New Yorkers didn’t care about anyone around them. Everyone was busy getting from one place to another and had very little time or care to look at those surrounding them on the crowded sidewalks. Aurora could easily wander the streets without being hassled as she went about her day. Occasionally a tourist would recognize her, but more often than not, a large pair of sunglasses and a hat pulled low would hide her enough to avoid all but the most astute fan. She wore a loose oversized cardigan which hung over the tips of her fingers completely concealing her prosthetic hand as she headed through the streets of midtown Manhattan, her hands full of shopping bags as she walked back towards Avengers Tower. She could have halved the time to get home by taking the subway, but the weather was nice, so she enjoyed the walk, reaching the towers lobby a little after 2 in the afternoon.

By the time she stepped out of the elevator and into the penthouse, she noted Steve, Clint and Bucky sprawled out on the sofas in front of the tv. She dropped her shopping bags onto the floor and launched herself onto the sofa cushion next to Steve, curling herself into his side as his arm fell around her shoulders, hugging her tightly against him.

“Where’ve you been all day?” he asked.

“Went shopping,” Rori explained.

“Do I want to know?” he asked with a soft chuckle.

“I bought wigs.”

“Why on earth are you buying wigs?” Clint butted in.

“Because with the tour coming up,” Rori said, “I want to try out some different hair colours, but I’ve never bleached my hair before and I’m honestly terrified of ruining my hair. So, wigs.”

“Do we get a fashion show?” Steve asked.

“Maybe later,” she mumbled, yawning widely before resting her head back against Steve’s shoulder and staring, glazed eyes at the tv.

xXx

The following day, Sam found Rori sitting alone against one of the large windows, hugging her knees tightly against her chest as she stared out over the city.

“Hey, you,” he said as he took a seat next to her on the floor. “You ok?”

“Yeah I’m good,” she replied, her voice soft and a little distant, her gaze remaining on the view spread out beneath them.

“Remember when you promised me you wouldn’t lie about how you were feeling,” Sam reminded her.

She sighed, her shoulders sagging and her head leaning forward to rest against the cold glass. “I had a panic attack last week,” she mumbled.

“When you got home to London?” he asked.

She shook her head. “On the last day of our honeymoon. This thunderstorm came rolling in out of nowhere the day before we flew home, and I just freaked out and ruined everything. I thought I was getting better.”

“You are getting better,” Sam argued. “This is the first panic attack you’ve had in months. That’s a huge improvement.”

“But I thought they were gone,” Rori sobbed. “I was just starting to feel normal again but I’m never going to be like I was.”

“No, you’re not,” he agreed. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but PTSD isn’t something you just get over. It’s going to be with you for the rest of your life, but that doesn’t have to mean there’s anything wrong with you and I’m sure Harry didn’t think you ruined the trip.”

“Of course he didn’t, he’s Harry,” she said. “He’s always so supportive and just wants to help me through it. It’s not even really about last week,” she admitted. “It’s more about what it says about the rest of the year. The rest of my life. When Harry asked me to join his band, I was terrified that somehow, I would do something to ruin it all, like that somehow my prosthetic would malfunction, and I’d ruin a show. Now I’m wondering what will happen if I have a panic attack at a show? There are so many things that can go wrong, and he’s worked so hard for all of this. I’ll never forgive myself if I do anything to damage that.”

“What happens if Mitch slips over in the rain and breaks his hand and can’t play the guitar? What if Sarah gets the flu and has to sit out a few shows? What if something happens with Adams kids and he has to leave the tour?” Sam asked. “There are so many what ifs and things that can go wrong but did you notice how none of those things had anything to do with anyone’s disabilities? There are things in your life that are going to be more challenging for you than they would have been if you hadn’t been shot. You can’t let that stop you from living. I’m sure Harry and Jeff have all kinds of plans in place for what happens if one of you gets sick and can’t perform, so maybe you should talk to them about your concerns and you can have some plans in place and that will help with the anxiety of it all.”

“You know I really hate when you’re right Sam,” Aurora mumbled, the corners of her lips twitching.

“I know,” he smirked. “But one of these days you’ll learn to accept that I’m never wrong.”

Aurora stuck her tongue out at him before letting out a tired sigh. “I’m just so exhausted. Like, my brain just never stops stressing over these tiny little things and it’s so exhausting to constantly be worrying about everything. I mean Christ, I chipped my nail polish at lunch and it’s all I’ve been able to think about for the last few hours which is ridiculous because who cares if my nail polish is chipped, but I’m going to be on live tv in two days and what if they want a shot of my hands while I’m playing and it’s not like I have time to go get them redone now.”

“Why not just tell the camera operators not to set up that shot?” Sam asked, always the rational voice.

“Yeah,” Rori nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Having said his piece, Sam stood up after giving her shoulder a quick squeeze and then walked away, leaving her to think about what he’d said. She was still sitting on the floor beside the window deciding how to bring her anxieties to Harry without adding to his already full plate when Nat appeared beside her. “Heard you could do with a manicure,” she said.

She extended her hand, helping Aurora up off the floor and then led her to the elevator and down to her personal floor. Nat didn’t press Aurora to talk as they settled down in her living room and set about removing the chipped polish from the nails of her right hand. Rori was grateful for the silence, not sure that she had the energy to carry a conversation but also glad that she wasn’t alone. Where others in the tower felt that they needed to distract her from her anxiety, it was always Nat that provided what she needed without her ever having to ask. Her thoughts whirled in her head as Nat applied the new pale yellow polish to her nails in slow, methodical strokes, Sam’s advice echoing in Aurora’s ears.  

“You seem stressed,” Nat finally said as she finished the topcoat on the last nail.

“Just nervous about the show on Saturday,” Rori replied softly. “Live TV doesn’t leave any room for error.”

“I’m sure you’ll all do great,” Nat promised with a warm smile. “Now lay back and I’ll do a face mask and help you relax. You’re way too tense for a 22 year old.”

Aurora did as she was told without argument, laying back and closing her eyes as Nat spread the cool clay over her face and then she started massaging her long fingers into Rori’s scalp. Once the mask was finished and Nat had cleaned it away with a warm cloth, she set about rubbing moisturizer onto Rori’s face, soothing the pinched muscles between the younger woman’s brow until she fell asleep under Nat’s hands.  

When Harry arrived back at the tower a little over an hour later he found most of the team in the penthouse, however his wife was conspicuously absent from the group. He asked JARVIS if she was downstairs in either of the studios, his brow furrowing when the AI informed him that she was in Agent Romanoff’s private quarters and he headed for the elevator.

Nat was sitting on the other sofa across from where Rori was sleeping peacefully, a book in hand when JARVIS’ voice filled the room and she was thankful that she had asked the AI to lower its volume when Aurora had fallen asleep.

“Mr. Styles is requesting access to your floor Agent Romanoff,” JARVIS announced in a hushed whisper.

“Tell him to come in,” Nat replied in an equally soft tone.

A few moments later, the elevator doors opened at the end of the hall and Harry strolled into the room, his eyes immediately falling to his sleeping wife. “Hey,” he whispered to Nat. “Everything ok here?”

“She was getting a bit anxious about Saturday, so we had a bit of a spa day to help her calm down,” Nat explained.

Harry nodded and then headed over to the sofa, sitting on its edge next to Aurora’s hip and reached out to trace his hand along her cheekbone. “Rors?” he soothed. “Time to wake up love.” As she began to stir, Nat left the room allowing the couple to have some privacy.

“You’re home,” Rori mumbled, her voice thick with sleep and a soft smile lifting the corners of her lips. “Missed you today.”

“Heard you had a bad day,” Harry said, pulling her up and into a tight hug. “Sorry I wasn’t here.”

“S’ok,” she replied as she pressed her face into the crook of his neck. “Just got in my head a bit and spiralled.”

“Feeling better now?”

“Much,” she promised. “Always feel better when you’re here.”

“Mitch text me about 20 minutes ago that their flight landed so they’ll be here soon. Wanna come upstairs with me? Think Steve’s cooking a massive dinner.”

Aurora nodded her head and laced her fingers through Harry’s as the headed for the elevator doors.

xXx

Aurora tried to hold back her anxiety as she walked through the door with Harry, Jeff and the rest of the band Friday morning. She knew she was doing a poor job of it when Harry squeezed her hand tightly in an attempt to comfort her. She was angry at herself for her nervousness, knowing that she had performed on bigger stages in front of live audiences in the past, but she couldn’t seem to overcome the fear that she would make a mistake that would make Harry look bad. She could always deal with embarrassing herself, but the idea of screwing up everything that Harry had worked for was what truly made her terrified.

The set was a blur of activity and Harry led them down the halls towards the set where their equipment had been set up. Sarah headed straight to her drum kit and the boys picked up their guitars while Rori and Harry walked over to where the keyboards where a grand piano was waiting for her.  

“You look like you’re going to be sick babe,” Harry said. He kept his voice low, whispering in his wife’s ear as she sat down on her bench seat, not wanting draw anyone’s attention to their conversation. “I know you’re going to nail this. Just gotta trust me.”

“I know,” she replied. “God anxiety is such a bitch.” Harry chuckled at her little outburst and then he kissed the top of her head before walking over towards the microphone stand.

They spent the rest of the day running through the two songs they would perform the following evening. They discussed the lighting and camera set ups, making sure that everyone in the band and the crew knew exactly where they would stand and which way the equipment would move during the live broadcast. Occasionally they would take breaks for Harry to go work on the sketches he would be appearing in or they would stop so that Aurora could remove her prosthetic for a while. In the year since she had started wearing the prosthetic hand, Tony and Peter had redesigned the original many times, constantly upgrading and improving it’s coding to make it easier for her to wear for longer periods of time. Despite these upgrades, she still found it hard to wear for too long and after about 4 hours of prolonged use she would start to get horrible tension headaches from the transmitting device she wore behind her left ear. It was for this reason that the majority of their soundchecks were happening on Friday so that Aurora wouldn’t be required to play before the show was ready to go to air. She was always uncomfortable whenever plans had to change in order to accommodate her disability, but Harry had  assured her repeatedly over the course of the week that it was not a big deal and that they wouldn’t have been needed much on Saturday afternoon anyway, so it wasn’t even that much of a change to the schedule.

By the end of the day, Aurora was exhausted. They had taken plenty of breaks throughout the day, but she knew that she had definitely pushed herself, never wanting to be the one to call for a break and know she was paying for it. She had her prosthetic off and stuffed into her bag before they even reached the car that would take them all the few short blocks back to the tower.  She sat in the back seat beside Harry and let her head fall against his shoulder, closing her eyes for the quick 10 minute drive.

“You alright love?” Harry asked quietly as they pulled up in the underground carpark of the tower.

She hummed in response, letting him lead her out of the car and into the waiting elevator. “Just tired,” she promised. “It was a long day.”

“It was,” Harry agreed, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. “Went great though. Think tomorrow’s going to be amazing.”

Aurora wasn’t the only one who was tired and after such a long day of rehearsals, everyone in the band was happy to return to the tower, the inviting smells of dinner greeting them as they stepped out of the elevator to see the entire team crowded around the dining table, waiting for them. Aurora’s eyes lit up as she saw Peter at the table and immediately rushed over to him, pulling him out of his seat and into a hug, her exhaustion evaporated in the wake of seeing him again for the first time since they’d arrived back in town.

“God, where have you been all week?” she asked.

“Sorry been busy with school and patrols,” Peter replied. “I usually only have time to come over Friday nights and on the weekends.”

“Lucky we’re not leaving till Monday then,” Rori smiled. “Otherwise I wouldn’t get to spend any time with you at all. Now talk to me, how’s it feel to almost be finished with High School?”

Harry watched them with an amused smile as they sat next to each other, talking excitedly about Peter’s upcoming graduation and which colleges he had been accepted to. They barely stopped talking throughout the entire meal, completely oblivious to anyone else at the table. Harry hadn’t spent a great deal of time around Peter, given how much time he had spent on the road with One Direction or off filming Dunkirk while Aurora had still been living in the tower full time, but it didn’t really take a lot of time to understand why Tony, Steve and Rori had all rushed to absorb Peter into their little family. He was such a nice kid, always energetic and excited about anything going on everyone’s lives and he was joy to be around. He had so seamlessly fit into the family dynamic that everyone considered him a Stark in all bar name. Harry had once asked Rori about his place in the team, and she had smiled brightly, explaining how happy she was that while she and Steve had always had their art to bond over, she was relieved that Tony now had someone that could keep up with him in the lab and that he could teach Peter and watch him improve. She’d always wanted a little brother and now she had one in Peter. Tony and Steve had already experienced the emotional minefield of establishing parental roles without stepping on the memory of Rori’s mother, to it had been so easy for them to find a way to fill those same roles with Peter over the last few years without diminishing May’s place in his life or erasing the importance of Peter’s parents. The Avenger’s had always been a messy, happy, found family, and with the addition of Peter and May, and then with Mitch, Adam and Sarah, the family just seemed to keep expanding and Harry could see how much Aurora loved having each and everyone of them crowded into the penthouses dining room.

xXx

Saturday was a blur of activity and rushing around, and before Aurora realised someone was yelling that they were going live in 10 minutes. She was sitting out of the way with Sarah on one side of her and Adam on the other, waiting for their time to perform. Harry was off getting ready for the first sketch and they had a small tv hanging on the wall nearby so that they could watch the show while they waited. The first half of the show went off without a hitch and all four of them simply tried to keep out of everyone’s way until a technician came over to heard them towards the set. They were all situated behind their instruments by the time Harry joined them and he quickly ducked over to Rori for a good luck kiss before taking his place at the mic stand and waiting for the signal to start. One of Aurora’s knees was bouncing beneath the piano and there was a slight tremor in her right hand as she closed her eyes and took a few deep breathes on the darkened set. She tuned out the camera’s and the studio audience, her attention narrowing down to her instrument and Harry a few steps in front of her as she began the opening chords of the song. For a few brief seconds her piano was the only sound as the lights began to lift, and Harry’s voice rang out through the studio. As they hit the pre-chorus Rori and Sarah added their voices to the mix and then all of the other instruments joined as they entered the chorus. All of Aurora’s nerves disappeared as Harry belted out the lyrics of the chorus, and in the brief moment right before the second verse he turned, catching her eye and winking before returning to the microphone. In the final lines of the song, right in the middle of the most difficult notes, Aurora heard Harry’s voice falter and he missed a line. She tried to hide a grimace, knowing that he would be kicking himself for slipping at the end of the song. The moment the camera’s cut away she was at his side, arms wrapped tightly around his waist and he pecked her lips quickly. She attempted to comfort him before he was quickly whisked away to change into the costume for the next sketch.

By the time they returned to their little set for their second song Harry appeared to have shaken off the slip up and everyone, including Aurora, was buzzing with adrenaline and ready to go with their second performance. This time the grand piano was gone, and Aurora’s keyboard was positioned behind Harry’s spot at the centre of the stage. With all the sketches out of the way, Aurora watched happily as Harry allowed himself to enjoy the performance. As they finished the song and the audience cheered, Harry quickly pulled his guitar strap over his head and walked over to where Rori was seated behind the keys. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her softly. “That one was for you my love,” he whispered as their lips separated.

“So proud of you,” she whispered in reply. “You absolutely killed it tonight.”

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[abubblingcandle]

NADDPOD Last Lines

Emily mentioned a compilation of all the last lines before “And that’s where we end our session” and so I thought why not! 

Spoilers of course if you are not up to date 

Ep 1 - Oh my god there's so many knots, it's so knotty

Ep 2 - Moonshine immediately goes over and starts skinning some of the scales off so she can make a cute bandana

Ep 3 - And is that the Bullywug royalty? 

Ep 4 - And Moonshine dives in Baywatch style

Ep 5 - You guys get off into the swamp with the Green Teens

Ep 6 - And as you say that, it cracks

Ep 7 - I bend this guy over and knee him in the face

Ep 8 - BT: Guys I think the Jamboreen's cancelled. HS: Its definitely cancelled

Ep 9 - You see he's already working on something else, just reading a book and ignoring you

Ep 10 - Skulus we hardly knew ye 

Ep 11 - Skunkbug waves goodbye to you guys and you ride out of town as this giant building explodes and the bubble knights rush to it but you guys use the cover of night to escape and leave the city

Ep 12 - As Tonathon is being thrown like a baby you guys kinda comfort mutilated and depressed Beverly 

Ep 13 - I drop the three coffees I am holding

Ep 14 - That's your mum kid

Ep 15 - You can also see torchlight coming from the castle and torches all around the ruins

Ep 16 - I jump in and buckle myself in infront of his lap

Ep 17 - DM: I spared you Elias. HS: Oo you son of a bitch

Ep 18 - Like two rival gangs you guys stare each other down

Ep 19 - He gives you the crick water and you guys share a drink

Ep 20 - Hardwon takes the wheel as you guys fly off, I would say into the night but it is daytime, you fly off into the day

Ep 21 - In stark contrast to the west, where something clearly ain't right 

Ep 22 - I am Elias Stormborn, aka Hardwon Surefoot, bastard of the mountain, pride of the dwarfanage, the heart of Irondeep and I need your help

Ep 23 - But you see Cobb held in this mini tornado which then hovers over the open sky

Ep 24 - You guys stand toe to toe, sizzling water underneath you

Ep 25 - You got that right... I spore her real quick

Ep 26 - Cobb lead it on a chase but bring it back here 

Ep 27 - I back up, I'm out

Ep 28 - Welcome home baby 

Ep 29 - Beverly fires up the grill, there's a big celebration and plenty of brown to go around 

Ep 30 - Later Jarn. Keep it sleezy

Ep 31 - Apple fucking drags all of these unconscious adventurers into bed 

Ep 32 - DM: No it didn't I assumed she had it. MC: Oh right, sweet

Ep 33 - If you could just send that in the mail later? 

Ep 34 - As you make your way through the strange, cold foreign city towards keep Vinril to attempt to infiltrate the wedding welcome party and find Gemma Bronzebeard

Ep 35 - She did kiss me 

Ep 36 - You see this kid with this skull mask and this giant hooked sword comes out and takes Beverly and him and all of these skeleton kids head into the chapel

Ep 37 - Hey I'd cry if I looked like that too 

Ep 38 - And then there will be chaos and we will bring order

Ep 39 - I'm gonna need to borrow your ship

Ep 40 - Brother Hirog, our leader, inspired us. He has the fire touch and he will lead us to greatness 

Ep 41 - The band of boobs heads off again into the tundra towards the valley of the frigid death

Ep 42 - Anyone else like kinda flattered by being called sweet meat so much? 

Ep 43 - I have the featherfall ring, if I hold hands with people does that help a little bit? 

Ep 44 - Dragon you say? Come again? 

Ep 45 - Let's go kill some chosen

Ep 46 - DM: Hardwon Surefoot is shrinking. MC: I'm not gonna tell him. BT: I tug on the rope. 

Ep 47 - She takes her axe and she starts sharpening her rapier

Ep 48 - I pull down my pants and throw a javelin at him 

Ep 49 - And the mastlift starts travelling to the gnome section of Freespire

Ep 50 - But on the wind you catch the faintest hint of baby's breath and lavender 

Ep 51 - You guys begin descending the steps towards the old Court, towards Beverly Snr, Queen Cirilla and angels? 

Ep 52 - Yo, my bag brother way to fucking go! 

Ep 53 - You jacknife through and Beverly Snr follows

Ep 54 - And that's kind of my fault, I pat Galad's head

Ep 55 - You guys see smoke and hear activity in the distance like there is a settlement, or a town, or perhaps a court

Ep 56 - Really wish I brought a jacket

Ep 57 - Ah shit we tackle him

Ep 58 - And Beverly cannonballs into the plane of shadows 

Ep 59 - Where'd the bullet come from? I trace the trajectory

Ep 60 - Can I borrow this pinstripe vest? 

Ep 61 - With that you guys all begin heading towards Our Lady of Penance to talk to the revanants, the Knights of Penance

Ep 62 - You don't have long and you have a yapping bear cub possum Hardwon and your hands

Ep 63 - I'm so excited to finally have guests! 

Ep 64 - *sigh* It's good to come home

Ep 65 - He pulls you into the heavenly abyss

Ep 66 - DM: Suddenly a giant tentacle shoots up over the ship and a kraken emerges from below the boat. BT: They sold us a lemon! 

Ep 67 - You guys all take off towards Ember Heaven and Galad Rosel

Ep 68 - You see a lightning bolt come out of the sky and a few second later, thunder

Ep 69 - She brings you guys all in for a big group hug

Ep 70 - I have to look away so the tears don't ruin the pages

Ep 71 - You see sixteen teams left

Ep 72 - That's the symbol of the chosen

Ep 73 - You hear Akarot and his minions walking upstairs, waiting for you guarding the throne 

Ep 74 - You look out at the crowd, high elves and crick elves celebrating together and your father looking on at you proudly 

Ep 75 - Normally a two handed weapon, she easily wields one in each hand

Ep 76 - Moonshine, in this moment as she goes into the portal her eyes look clear

Ep 77 - On the fence, misspelled, is a sign that says Fort Rust 

Ep 78 - I'll keep my hair up just in case

Ep 79 - Who the hell was that? 

Ep 80 - You see he draws his sword, the same sword he used that day

Ep 81 - I don't think you are going to like this musk very much

[laceymorganwrites]

Here is 2nd prompt: 1 to 9, 11 to 14, 16, 17, 21 to 24, 28 to 37, 39, 43 to 45, 52, 55, 56(let me guess MGK?), 64, 67, 69, 70, 72, 73, 75 to 81, 83 to 87, 90 to 92, 94, 98, 106 to 123, 125 to 127, 134, 138, 139, 143 to 151, 154 and 155 (cut it in two/three part we gonna have an headache if not) -Sarah

I´m gonna put a cut here lol this is gonna be a long post 

1. Full name

I´m uncomfortable answering that one. My first irl name is Hope though

2. Age

18

3. 3 fears

spiders, lonliness, death

4. 3 things I love

my friends, my cats, writing

5. 4 turn ons

subs, lip biting, intense eye contant, praise

6. 4 turn offs

degrading, forcing control, belittling me, just being disgusting

7. my best friend

met him in tenth grade, best thing that ever happened to me. platonic soulmate, always there for me. Love him with all my heart

8. sexual orientation

lesbian, on the aro spectrum

9. my best first date

never had any

11. What do I miss?

Being able to get a good night´s sleep

12. What time were I born?

Around 4am

13. favorite color?

since black doesn´t count yellow, dark red, dark purple

14. Do I have a crush?

on irls no. On fictional men yes

16. favorite place?

Dublin (especially the pubs)

17. favorite food?

french toast, homemade burgers, pizza

21. Shoe size

38 in Germany (idk the size system of other countries)

22. Eye color

Dark blue, with a bit of green in the middle. My eyes look like the ocean, so when I say dark blue, I mean really dark.

23. hair color

Natural dirty blonde, but currently washed out dyed purple

24. favorite style of clothing?

grunge with elements of punk

28. favorite movie?

Lord of the rings

29. favorite song?

I can´t choose just one, but the one that really means a lot to me is You´ll Be Fine by Palaye Royale

30. Favorite band?

Used to be Creeper, but is currently Palaye Royale

31. How I feel right now?

Tired and in pain (just started my period)

32. Someone I love

My best friend

33. my current relationship status

single irl, but dating lesbian anon on here

34. my relationship with my parents

good I guess, though we don´t do a lot together

35. favorite holiday

Halloween and Pride

36. Tattoos and piercings I have

none

37. Tattoos and piercings I want

none since I have a low pain tolerance (it´s rlly nonexistent)

39. Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Well, I´m over it but he´s petty and spreading rumors about me so....

43. How long does it take for me to get ready in the morning?

An hour. I take a long time to fully wake up, so I do things very slow. 

44. have you shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope. I don´t shave, my mom thinks it´s disgusting but I don´t care. My body, my rules

45. Where am I right now?

In my bed, as always

52. when was the last time I hugged someone?

A few days ago

55. what is something I disliked about today?

starting my period

56. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Nikki Sixx.

64. Do I believe in magic?

Not really, but I´m open to anything

67. What was the last book you´ve read?

I´m currently reading ´The Dirt´

69. Do I have any nicknames?

Lace, Ace, Hopi

70. what was the worst injury I ever had?

my self inflicted one  I guess

72. can I touch my nose with a tongue?

sadly no

73. Is there anything pink 10 feets from me?

yup, my pillow

75. what was I doing last night at 12 AM?

listening to Yagami Yato´s audios

76. What do I think Satan´s last name is?

Mine since I´ll marry her when I arrive in hell

77. What´s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Na Na Na by MCR

78. How can you win my heart?

Make me laugh

79. What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Fucking finally

80. What is my favorite word?

Cunt

81. my top 5 blogs on tumblr

@varia-venus @one-piece-dumpster-fire @miyaniacs @aomineavenue @hoe-imaginess

83. Do I have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know

84. I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Teleportation

85. What would be a question I´d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Why are you like this?

86. What is my current desktop picture?

It´s an edited Madara one my friend made me

87. had sex?

Voluntarily no

90. failed a class?

Luckily no

91. kissed a boy?

yup, 2 times and both times it was disgusting af

92. kissed a girl?

no, but she kissed me and that was when I realized I was gay. She broke my heart too.

94. Had a job?

no, but hopefully soon

98. played on a sports team?

no, I can´t play sports

106. been to a wedding?

only when I was little, so I don´t remember anything

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

that´s nothing to me. I spend my whole day on here. That´s why I spam with those prompt thingies, cause I get bored and am always active

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

I´m a fucking hermit, of course I have

109. been outside my home country?

yes, mutliple times

110. gotten my heart broken?

yup and it hurt like a bitch

111. been to a professional sports game?

Me and my class went to a pro ice hockey game and it was amazing

112. broken a bone?

not yet fortunately

113. cut myself?

yup and not proud of it

114. been to prom?

no, got cancelled because of COVID

115. been in an airplane?

yes, but I´m afraid of flying and heights

116. fly by helicopter?

no

117. what concerts have I been to?

Katy Perry, Halestorm (2 times), The Pretty Reckless, All Time Low, Halsey, Waterparks, Palaye Royale, Kyle Gass Band, Hey Violet, David Guetta, Bring me the horizon, Macklemore (2 times), Rihanna, Panic! At the disco, Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots (2 times), Amy Shark, Hayley Kiyoko

118. had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119. learned another language?

yup. But I failed and can´t speak any of it. The only foreign language that stuck with me is English

120. wore make up?

yeah, a lot actually. I like experimenting with make up

121. lost my virginity before I was 18?

Not voluntarily

122. Had oral sex?

Not voluntarily

123. Dyed my hair?

A lot

125. Rode in am ambulance?

no

126. had a surgery?

only a minor one

127. met someone famous?

I met a German youtuber at the Halsey concert and I got VIP tickets for Palaye Royale, so I met all of them

134. What do I want for my birthday?

I don´t know. Probably some cosplay supplies

138. what was my favorite toy as a child?

I was a Playmobil kid

139. Favorite TV show?

Can´t choose. Will go with Haikyuu for now

143. Favorite pizza topping?

Ham and mushrooms

144. Am I afraid of the dark?

yes

145. Am I afraid of heights?

yes

146. Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, but I never done any of that

147. Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the time cause I keep comparing myself to others

148. what I´m really bad at

social interaction

149. what my greatest achievements are

graduating and making it into uni

150. the meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

can´t really remember to be honest. People have always been talking behind my back rather than saying it to my face

151. what I´d do if I won in a lottery?

move to Ireland, buy a house, give the rest to charity

154. something I fantasize about

anime men

[plasticbullet]

BET YOU WON'T ANSWER THEM ALL

1: Full name

I've gotten creepy messages on here so I'm gonna keep that private lol

2: Age

27

3: 3 Fears

Abandonment, driving by semi-trucks, bugs

4: 3 things I love

Music, coffee, nature

5: 4 turn ons

Sense of humor, intelligence, height, big hands.. happy trails are sexy

6: 4 turn offs

If they're rude, judgy, closed-minded, or act fake

7: My best friend

Tammy

8: Sexual orientation

Straight

9: My best first date

I have no idea honestly. First dates are always weird

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

Not having anxiety, traveling, when my boobs were bigger

12: What time was I born

11:30 pm

13: Favourite color

Yellow, green, blue

14: Do I have a crush

It’s more than a crush, but yes

15: Favourite quote

"This is cracking me out" - my kid

16: Favourite place

The forest, Havasupai, California

17: Favourite food

Just about anything Italian. Or with a lot of cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

Pretty often

19: What am I listening to right now

Wind blowing through the window. It’s like 65 degrees here I love it

20: First thing I notice in a new person

If they seem nice or not

21: Shoe size

7 or 7.5 depending on the shoes

22: Eye color

Blue

23: Hair color

Reddish dark blonde

24: Favourite style of clothing

Grungy but hot

25: Ever done a prank call? Yes

27: Meaning behind my URL

I’ve answered this a couple times before, I’m too lazy

28: Favourite movie

Peanut Butter Falcon

29: Favourite song

All the ones that make me feel things the most

30: Favourite band

A Day to Remember, Brand New

31: How I feel right now

Relaxed

32: Someone I love

My son

33: My current relationship status

In something

34: My relationship with my parents

They’re cool

35: Favourite holiday

Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have

Treble clef on the back of my neck, pierced ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want

I’m good for now! Maybe more one day

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I don’t even know, I’ve used this shit off and on since I was 16

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yep

41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

Held hands with my son today

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Like 20 minutes

44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

45: Where am I right now? In my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Probably one of my friends lol

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Loud unless I’m sleepyy

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49: Am I excited for anything? 🎄🎄🎄

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Yepp I think so

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Sometimes if I don't want my kid to sense my stress. Or during boring conversations

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

🤷🤷🤷

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

I don’t think so

55: What is something I disliked about today?

I was super sleepy, slept until some stressy dreams woke me up, and can't go back to sleep 🙃

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

That guy from My Octopus Teacher

57: What do I think about most?

People I love, things I have to do, and the randomest shit imaginable

58: What’s my strangest talent?

I barely have any normal talents

59: Do I have any strange phobias? No

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it unless I feel cute

61: What was the last lie I told?

Something about Santa to my kid

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Depends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I feel like ghosts are possible, our energy could keep existing in some ways after our body dies who knows. Aliens exist for sure. Just not anywhere near our planet imo

64: Do I believe in magic? No

65: Do I believe in luck? I believe in good karma

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Kinda chilly/breezy but nice

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Read Fox in Socks to my kid

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No

69: Do I have any nicknames? Kind of

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

One time a horse stepped on my foot and it was bruised for months lol

71: Do I spend money or save it? Both

72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?

Noo! I just tried though hahah

73: Is there anything pink 10 feet from me?

A crayon

74: Favourite animal? Sloths but I love all animals

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping surprisingly

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

I can't think of anyone I hate enough to make a good joke out of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Colorado Symphony version of The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov

78: How can you win my heart?

Good conversations, make me laugh, show me you care, show me good music, etc

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Nice things, I don't know lol

80: What is my favorite word? Fuck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I ♥️ all the ones I follow

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Realistically I would have a panic attack and say something stupid 😂

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of!

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Maybe the power to pause time so I could sleep or do whatever for however long I want without wasting any time. Or maybe the ability to teleport

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Idk I can't think of one

86: What is my current desktop picture?

It’s the default one, I don’t go on it very often lol

87: Had sex? Yes

88: Bought condoms? No the guys always did that

89: Gotten pregnant? Yes

90: Failed a class? No

91: Kissed a boy? Yes

92: Kissed a girl? Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes

94: Had a job? Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yepp I used to forget it all the time

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

No I'm not a pussy ass bitch

97: Had sex in public?

If you count in a parked car, yes

98: Played on a sports team? Yes

99: Smoked weed? Yes

100: Did drugs? A while ago

101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, quit a while ago

102: Drank alcohol? Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Nope! I tried one time just for fucks and it did not last long

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? Yes

106: Been to a wedding? Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Yes. Marathons and binge sessions

109: Been outside my home country? Yes, Mexico

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yes

114: Been to prom? Yes

115: Been in an airplane? Lots of times

116: Fly by helicopter? No

117: What concerts have I been to?

Oh fuck I know I’ll leave some out. Kelly Clarkson (don’t judge me I was 12), All Time Low, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, Flogging Molly, Jason Mraz, Ed Sheeran, Atreyu, Escape the Fate, went to Warped Tour a couple times in high school so a bunch more emo bands

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? No

119: Learned another language?

A decent amount of Spanish

120: Wore make up? Frequently

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? Yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? No those are expensive

126: Had a surgery?

Does getting my wisdom teeth removed count

127: Met someone famous?

Saw Alice Cooper at a Cheesecake Factory one time

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Not stalked, more like checked up on lol

129: Peed outside? On camping trips

130: Been fishing? Yes

131: Helped with charity? Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? Probably!

133: Broken a mirror? No

134: What do I want for my birthday?

Christmas is coming first idk

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I have one kid whose name I won’t be posting publicly, annnd I’m open to having another kid sometime in the future but not set on it. No names in mind for that lol

136: Was I named after anyone?

My parents are Catholic so they named me after St. Kieran

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s alright idk

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

I liked my toy horses and barbies the most probably

139: Favourite TV Show?

Idk I have lots of favorites. I've probably rewatched The Office the most out of all of them tho

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Somewhere chill, surrounded by lots of nature. Arizona doesn’t have much of that lol

141: Play any musical instrument?

I can play the piano but it’s been a while

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

One on my knee from a car accident

143: Favourite pizza topping?

I love onions on my pizzaaaa

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No, unless I watched a scary movie or something

145: Am I afraid of heights? No

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Got caught sneaking out when I was 15. Countless other things I can’t remember

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yep!

148: What I’m really bad at

Doing things on time, paying attention when I’m not interested in something

149: What my greatest achievements are

Having an amazing kid, got first prize in the science fair in 6th grade for gluing a fucking key finder mechanism to the back of a shoe charm (shoe finder), was on time to something once

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Idkkk

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Give a lot of it to some family, save a lot of it, get a new house, set aside a savings for my kid, buy a sloth or something

152: What do I like about myself

Fuck I don't know, I try my best hahah

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@spencerwithac

154: Something I fantasize about

Sex in public

155: Any question you’d like?

Nope this was plenty thank you

[100storiesin2020]

Chapter 6: The First Meeting

Come read on AO3!

Blue anxiously followed Renee into the Foxhole stadium. Renee had come by the Raven boys' dorm at 4:30, offering to ride along to give directions and open up the building for them. She had sat in the backseat with Ronan and Adam, and had surprisingly hit it off with Ronan. Or perhaps it wasn't surprising, with that cross around her neck. Blue was still nervous, though. She was about to meet the whole team of Foxes. These were people that she would be playing with, expected to get along with, spending a lot of time with, perhaps even be friends with.

She hadn't had much practice with friendship yet.

Their footsteps echoed in the empty hallways. Renee was ahead of her, softly speaking with Ronan about local churches. "I know of at least one Catholic church in walking distance, and others in town," she was saying. Behind her Gansey and Adam were bickering about who would buy a toaster for their dorm. They probably didn't realize Ronan would just dream one up for them. Maybe she could talk him into making it orange.

They reached a door, which Renee opened, and the five of them filed in. Everyone else had already arrived. Blue checked her watch to make sure they weren't late, and saw that they were actually five minutes early.

This must be the team lounge, she thought. It wasn't a large room, and the three couches and two chairs made it positively cramped. On the left hand side, Andrew sat next to Neil, the third spot on the couch filled by a dark haired boy who could be no other than Kevin Day. Then there was a chair with Andrew's twin, Aaron. Nicky, Matt, and Dan were sitting on the middle couch. The chair next to them was occupied by a beautiful blond girl who Blue immediately disliked (who needs perfectly curled hair for a sports team meeting?). The third couch was empty.

Gansey immediately strode across the room for Kevin, extending his hand. "Hello! I'm Gansey. You're Kevin Day, right?"

Kevin stood and shook his hand, a perfect plastic smile in place. "That's me. Welcome to the team."

Gansey beamed. "Well thank you! You're a history major, right?"

Kevin kept the plastic composure despite seeming surprised. "Yes, I am."

"Then tell me, Kevin Day. What do you know about Welsh kings?"

Blue rolled her eyes as Kevin Day, Famous Exy Player Extraordinare, launched into a passionate speech about the Celtic countries and languages. Based on the startled looks from most of the other Foxes (Neil and Andrew were unfazed), this wasn't a common occurrence. She noticed Renee giving Matt and Dan a significant look before crossing the room to talk to Andrew. Blue stood there for a moment, unsure what to do with herself, but Ronan had no such inhibitions. He stalked over to the empty couch and sprawled across it like he owned the whole thing.

Adam and Blue smirked at each other before joining Ronan at the couch. Adam pushed Ronan's legs over the side, making room for him to sit. Blue didn't bother. She sat directly on his stomach. This forced a loud grunt out of Ronan before he shoved her off. "Fuck off, maggot." Blue laughed again as Ronan sat up straight, leaving her a proper place on the side of the couch.

As she sat, Nicky grinned at her. "Hi Blue!" he exclaimed. He turned to Adam and Ronan and waggled his eyebrows. "And welcome to the team, hotties!"

Adam, who had been sipping from a water bottle, began to splutter. Ronan thumped him on the back, making everything worse as Adam wheezed and turned red. He finally caught his breath. "Hello to you too..." he trailed off.

"I'm Nicky Hemmick! Sorry to startle you. But you two are both seriously hot."

"I'm going to tell Erik you're flirting again," Aaron warned.

Nicky waved him off. "He knows I love him. Anyway, I'm a backliner and the resident gay icon. Who are you guys?"

Adam and Ronan looked at each other for a quick moment, having one of those exchanges that Blue still didn't know how to read. Adam turned to Nicky first while Ronan glowered. "I'm Adam Parrish, offensive dealer."

"Ronan Lynch, goalie."

Nicky whistled. "You look like you eat babies for breakfast, man."

Blue snorted. "You should see him with his pet raven on his shoulder. It really completes the aesthetic."

This drew the attention of everyone besides Kevin and Gansey, who were still avidly discussing history. "A pet raven, huh?" asked Dan.

Ronan didn't respond. He gave Nicky one of his unsettling, menacing grins. "I don't generally eat babies for breakfast, but one of these days I may make an exception." He leaned forward, making an obvious threat.

Nicky looked terrified. "Oh, okay, cool cool, okay, nice to meet you, I think I'll let these guys introduce themselves." Nicky turned and tried to insert himself into the history conversation, which clearly went over his head. Blue laughed.

"If you find Nicky amusing, then maybe your sense of humor is better than your fashion sense," said the tall blond.

"Excuse me?" asked Blue. "Do you have a problem with my clothes, princess?"

"Well, yeah. You look like a rainbow vomited all over you, and not the way that Nicky usually does."

Blue spluttered. "Just because I don't buy into the patriarchy's dictation of how I should present myself -" she began heatedly, but she was cut off when Ronan stomped on her foot and Renee plopped in to Allison's lap.

"Blue, this is my girlfriend, Allison." Renee gave Allison a soft, but disappointed, look. "She is one of our roommates and I am hoping that you two will get along."

Blue glared at Allison, and if looks could kill they would both be dead. Renee cleared her throat. Allison sighed, seemingly quelled for now, and moved on to the next person on the bench. "So how about you, scary boy? Lynch, was it? You sure have a menacing grin."

Ronan gave her one of those grins. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. It's even creepier than Andrew's lack of emotion, which is saying something."

He scanned the other seats. "We're referring to the midget with the arm bands?" he drawled. Andrew looked back with apparent unfeeling, but Blue wasn't fooled. He'd been watching them this whole time so far, categorizing every move they made, probably weighing them to figure out how much of a threat they may be. She wondered if he thought Ronan was more dangerous than her, or less so.

Blue snorted. "You should know. Hasn't Gansey read you all his notes yet?"

"What notes?" Dan asked.

"Gansey really likes to make detailed notebooks," Adam said.

"He's a major nerd who likes to research anything important to him," Blue added. "You should see the journal. It's a work of art."

"Hey, Dick!" Ronan called, making Gansey wince a bit. "Where's the notebook?"

"Oh, I've got it right here," Gansey said, pulling it out of his backpack. He always carried a backpack these days. He handed the notebook to Ronan, who passed it to Blue, who passed it to Dan.

Dan opened it up and flipped gently through the pages. She turned so that Renee and Allison could see without moving, and Nicky and Matt peered over her shoulder. "You weren't kidding," she said. "This has our heights, our majors, our particular strengths on the court." Andrew stood up from his couch and came behind them as she continued to turn the pages. "Look, it's got newspaper clippings. He's highlighted some comments. Oh, this is the time Neil roasted that reporter."

"Interesting," Andrew drawled, startling everybody on the couch. "Your stalker binder wasn't nearly this pretty, Neil."

Neil laughed and came over to see. "It wasn't intended to be pretty."

Kevin and Gansey finally wandered over, and Dan handed the journal to Kevin. Kevin flipped to the section on himself, of course. Blue knew that it contained official stats, details of the chess piece tattoo, evidence for Kevin's implication that Riko Moriyama broke his hand, and Gansey's own observations of Kevin's playing style. "It says here," Kevin said, "that you think I'm too predictable with my shots."

"I did the math. You aim for the same place about 75% of the time. It's always-"

"The top right corner," Andrew finished, drawing looks from everyone in the room. Neil grinned. Andrew returned Kevin's searching gaze until the taller boy backed down.

"Well, if two of you say that, it must be accurate," Kevin muttered. He turned back to Gansey. "What other observations have you made?"

The team collectively groaned, but Kevin was fortunately silenced by the timely arrival of Wymack. "Nice to see you all again. Anybody dead yet?" He looked around the room and eyed Andrew a bit. "Have a seat, everyone." Everyone resumed their former seats. Blue shoved Gansey onto the couch and sat on his lap, turning sideways to put her feet up on Ronan's lap. He promptly pushed her feet onto the floor again. "Alright, let's keep it this way. Foxes, this is Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch, Blue Sargent, and Richard Gansey the Third."

"Just Gansey, please."

"Just Gansey it is. Did y'all introduce yourselves?" The team gave a chorus of yes, coach. "You all know how the schedule works, and there are no surprises this year. We have practices at 8 am for the next few weeks before school starts. Any more questions? No? Good. You know the drill: physicals and paperwork tonight, practice tomorrow morning." He handed a stack of papers to Dan, who proceeded to pass them out. "Practice tomorrow is at the gym. Do not come here, go to the gym. If you miss practice because you came here, I will kick your ass into next week. That includes you, Freshmen."

The door opened and a very nice looking woman entered. "I see you all survived the summer." She smiled at Blue. "I'm Abby, the team nurse."

"She will be doing the physicals tonight," Wymack said. "You four freshmen are new, so you're up first." He addressed the whole room again. "Don't leave without seeing Abby tonight or you will not get to play this season. Does everyone understand?" He was answered with a chorus of yes, coach. "Good. Who is first?"

Blue got up, since she was on top of Gansey anyway. "I'll be first. Adam, don't let Lynch here pick any fights."

"Shut up, maggot," he replied as she slammed the door behind her and followed Abby down the hall.

*********

Once the freshmen had done their physicals and left for Fox Tower, Nicky turned the conversation to the new people. "So," he began, leaning back on the couch, "Who wants to bet that Adam kid is gay?"

"No way," Allison said. "He was totally checking me out. My money is on straight."

"He could be bi," Renee offered.

"I'll take those odds," Nicky said. "Also, I want to bet that the girl and the history boy are dating."

"Bet pool is closed," Dan said. "Blue already confirmed they are."

"Pity," Allison said. "He's cute." Renee raised an eyebrow. "Hey, I was just looking."

Aaron groaned. "At least I'm not the only straight person on this team anymore."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Dan joked. Aaron rolled his eyes to the sound of laughter from around the room.

"Twenty bucks that Lynch is gay," Andrew said suddenly. Renee matched it, and then others took sides on the pot.

"Time for the big question," Matt said. "How long do we think it will take any of them to figure out Andrew and Neil?"

Bets flew in from around the room. "All year!" (Nicky) "3 months!" (Allison and Kevin) "Christmas!" (Dan) "Spring break!" (Matt and Aaron)

"Two weeks or less," Renee said, smiling sweetly.

[isrustandstardust]

1: Full name: Selena.

2: Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

3: 3 Fears: Abandonment. Not being good enough. Being lied to.

4: 3 things I love: Bones. Corpses. Books.

5: 4 turns on: Intelligence. Perversions. Sarcasm. Violence.

6: 4 turns off: Stupidity. Ignorance. Lack of hygiene. High pitched voices.

7: My best friend: Is the best bitch ever.

8: Sexual orientation: Bisex.

9: My best first date: A dinner and a walk by the lake.

10: How tall am I: 165 cm.

11: What do I miss: Woland, sometimes.

12: What time were I born: 3.45 a.m.

13: Favourite color: Teal.

14: Do I have a crush: Yup.

15: Favourite quote: So it goes.

16: Favourite place: Como.

17: Favourite food: Red meat, raw.

18: Do I use sarcasm: Way too much.

19: What am I listening to right now: I’m watching ‘my 600lb life’ on tv.

20: First thing I notice in new person: If he looks me in the eyes or not.

21: Shoe size: 38/39.

22: Eye color: Reddish brown.

23: Hair color: Chocolate.

24: Favourite style of clothing: Urban/edgy/grunge.

25: Ever done a prank call? When I was little.

26: What colour of underwear I'm wearing now? Black.

27: Meaning behind my URL: It’s a Nabokov’s quote.

28: Favourite movies: The Fountain, In the mood for love, Bin Jip, The pillow book, Only lovers left alive, Stoker.

29: Favourite song: Too hard to say.

30: Favourite band: Same. Maybe Tool.

31: How I feel right now: Relaxed.

32: Someone I love: My hubby.

33: My current relationship status: Happily married.

34: My relationship with my parents: No relationship with my mother, a distant one with my father.

35: Favourite holiday: Christmas.

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: 15 tattoos, no piercings atm.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: I want to do some surfaces again and I want to ink both my arms. Full sleeves.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I wanted a safe space to write.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? No, we just have no relationship whatsoever.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? When my husband is on tour.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Yup.

42: When did I last hold hands? A few hours ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope, I don’t need it.

45: Where am I right now? On the couch.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? My husband, my friends.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Way too loud!

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No. I live by myself since I was 18.

49: Am I excited for anything? In a few days I’ll begin renovating my home!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Sure.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Daily.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Today.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? That could be a problem.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? No, I’m very careful when it comes to trust people.

55: What is something I disliked about today? My stomach aching like crazy.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I’d love to have a chat with Jodorowsky.

57: What do I think about most? Work, work, work.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Deep water, strange fishes.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, I’m a director, not an actress.

61: What was the last lie I told? I’m not hungry.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Texting.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I believe in aliens, I’m fairly sure that something similar to ghost actually exist.

64: Do I believe in magic? Kinda.

65: Do I believe in luck? Yup.

66: What's the weather like right now? Fucking cold.

67: What was the last book I've read? A criminology book.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? A lot.

69: Do I have any nicknames? MissFortune, Sally.

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? Never had one.

71: Do I spend money or save it? Save it. I know what it means to have nothing. At all. I don’t want to find myself in that situation ever again.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Nope.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Nope. I don’t like pink very much.

74: Favourite animal? Snakes, moths.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Still working.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I know his name is Woland.

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Do you realize - the flaming lips.

78: How can you win my heart? Be kind, be honest.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don’t want a tombstone, I want to be cremated.

80: What is my favorite word? Weltschmerz.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr. No idea tbh.

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Read a book, study something, stop being stupid.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Nope.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Mind control.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? When was the last time you ate?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Mass Effect’s reapers attacking earth.

87: Had sex? Two days ago.

88: Bought condoms? A few years ago.

89: Gotten pregnant? Never.

90: Failed a class? Never.

91: Kissed a boy? A man. A few minutes ago.

92: Kissed a girl? Cannot recall.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yup.

94: Had job? Of course.

95: Left the house without my wallet? Maybe.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nope, been bullied tho.

97: Had sex in public? Yep.

98: Played on a sports team? Nope.

99: Smoked weed? Yes.

100: Did drugs? Three times.

101: Smoked cigarettes? Yup.

102: Drank alcohol? Of course.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Nope, been vegan for a year but my health went to hell.

104: Been overweight? I was a little chubby when I was little.

105: Been underweight? Almost all my adult life.

106: Been to a wedding? Sure.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Daily.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yup. I love binge watching things.

109: Been outside my home country? Sure.

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once.

111: Been to a professional sports game? No.

112: Broken a bone? Never.

113: Cut myself? I self harmed for years. Been clean for the past four and a half.

114: Been to prom? No.

115: Been in airplane? Yup.

116: Fly by helicopter? No, but I’d love to.

117: What concerts have I been to? Slayeeeeeeer! This is the first that comes to mind.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Of course.

119: Learned another language? Yup.

120: Wore make up? Daily.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope.

122: Had oral sex? Sure.

123: Dyed my hair? The last time I went blonde for my wedding, almost three years ago.

124: Voted in a presidential election? I voted, here in Italy, for every election.

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sadly, yes.

126: Had a surgery? Nope.

127: Met someone famous? More or less.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? A few times.

129: Peed outside? Yup.

130: Been fishing? I actually enjoy it a lot.

131: Helped with charity? Not that I recall.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Not in a while.

133: Broken a mirror? Nope.

134: What do I want for birthday? Being spoiled.

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? One. Nero if he’s a boy, Alya if she’s a girl.

136: Was I named after anyone? After a book character.

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s not bad.

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? I didn’t have one. Maybe my art supplies.

139: Favourite Tv Show? Atm: Supersized vs Superskinny.

140: Where do I want to live when older? Iceland.

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m learning to play drums.

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Almost all my scars are from self harming.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Cheeeeeeeeeese!

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nope. I feel at home in it.

145: Am I afraid of heights? A lot.

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Doing something bad, surely.

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Sometimes.

148: What I'm really bad at: Bowling.

149: What my greatest achievments are: I earn my own living since I was 18.

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: That I should never been born, I guess.

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery: Sell my house and go live abroad.

152: What do I like about myself: My willpower.

153: My closest Tumblr friend: I don’t have one.

154: Something I fantasise about: My future.

155: Any question I’d like: I have no preferences, ask away.

[toast-connoisseur]

ALL of the Ask Me Stuff questions

* 1: Full name: For safety purposes I’ll shorten it: Maria Barbara Gonzalez (yes, that’s the shortened version. I’m Mexican lol)

* 2: Age: 25

* 3: 3 Fears: Being buried alive, anything bad happening to a loved one, SPIDERS

* 4: 3 things I love: My family, my friends, movies

* 5: 4 turn ons: soft touches, kissing, making me food, a confident personality

* 6: 4 turn offs: Overly cocky people, racists, chewing with your mouth open

* 7: My best friend: I’m lucky to have several and I love them all with the individual pieces of my heart they each own

* 8: Sexual orientation: Queer/Gay

* 9: My best first date: I don’t think I’ve ever really gone on one tbh lol

* 10: How tall am I: 5’1 (barely make it to the 1)

* 11: What do I miss: Bars/clubs and Disneyland. Hugging people. Not losing so many people on a daily basis...

* 12: What time was I born: 3:38AM

* 13: Favourite color: Blood red (NOT maroon)

* 14: Do I have a crush: I always crush on random girls

* 15: Favourite quote: “Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I’m yours forever.”

* 16: Favourite place: It was once Disneyland now, I don’t really have a place lol

* 17: Favourite food: All of it. Of course Mexican food takes the top of the list though

* 18: Do I use sarcasm: Noooo, you think?!

* 19: What am I listening to right now: I’m watching Buffy

* 20: First thing I notice in new person: What vibes you’re giving off

* 21: Shoe size: 7 for the most part but sometimes I can fit into size 4 kid shoes

* 22: Eye color: Dark brown

* 23: Hair color: naturally: dark brown, right now: black

* 24: Favourite style of clothing: comfortable but more on the lines of retro/rockabilly

* 25: Ever done a prank call? Yes!

* 27: Meaning behind my URL: I love toast

* 28: Favourite movie: I have so many but one is Saved!

* 29: Favourite song: Lots, but Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship

* 30: Favourite band: Avenged Sevenfold

* 31: How I feel right now: Mellow

* 32: Someone I love: my nephew

* 33: My current relationship status: single

* 34: My relationship with my parents: could be better, but it’s there

* 35: Favourite holiday: Halloween

* 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: I have two piercings on each ear, my bellybutton pierced, and 6 tattoos (R foot, R ankle, L thigh, L wrist, L bicep, R bicep)

* 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I want most of my body covered in tattoos so I have a long way to go. As for piercings, I want at least two more per ear.

* 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: my friends said it would be a good time

* 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I wouldn’t say hate, but we’re not friends anymore

* 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yes!

* 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No

* 42: When did I last hold hands? It’s been too long :(

* 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? I work from home now so 0 minutes

* 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

* 45: Where am I right now? In my bed

* 46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? My best friends

* 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable usually. I have very sensitive hearing.

* 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? They actually live with me, but it’s temporary.

* 49: Am I excited for anything? My upcoming move

* 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yes, two actually

* 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? -I work Monday-Friday

* 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? -OOF

* 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Hot

* 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? -Everyone has different trust levels tbh. My best friends hold top tier.

* 55: What is something I disliked about today? I had to work

* 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Beyoncé!

* 57: What do I think about most? The future I want

* 58: What’s my strangest talent? I honestly don’t think I have one? I guess being able to mimic certain voices/accents sometimes but I wouldn’t say I’m pro

* 59: Do I have any strange phobias? I don’t think they’re strange, I just hate feet

* 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

* 61: What was the last lie I told? “I’ll work on that”

* 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? It depends who I’m talking to, but phone tbh

* 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Both are very real

* 64: Do I believe in magic? Yes

* 65: Do I believe in luck? To an extent

* 66: What’s the weather like right now? Nice and cold

* 67: What was the last book I’ve read? I strictly read fanfiction lately

* 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Don’t love it, don’t hate it

* 69: Do I have any nicknames? Barbie, Barbs, whore, homo... you know, cute stuff

* 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I split my eyebrow open and had to get stitches

* 71: Do I spend money or save it? Por que no los dos?!

* 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No, but my best friend can and it’s so cool!

* 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My sweats are pink

* 74: Favourite animal? I love animals but wolves are pretty top tier

* 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping

* 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Sexy. Mr. Sexy.

* 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? -I Wanna Get Better by the Bleachers

* 78: How can you win my heart? Be nice to me and have good conversations to me and occasionally buy me chocolate

* 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? The entire lyrics to Act Up by City Girls

* 80: What is my favorite word? Motherfucker

* 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I honestly bounce to and from so many. There’s no way I can only pick 5. All the ones I reblog from are so great!

* 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? STOP GOING TO PARTIES

* 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I’m aware of

* 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? I can turn invisible

* 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? None really tbh

* 86: What is my current desktop picture? I made it into a winter wonderland for the holidays

* 87: Had sex? “It’s been 84 years...”

* 88: Bought condoms? I’m gay

* 89: Gotten pregnant? See above

* 90: Failed a class? I think in middle school maybe?

* 91: Kissed a boy? Yes

* 92: Kissed a girl? Yes

* 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Sadly, no

* 94: Had a job? Sadly (but also thankfully since I need money)

* 95: Left the house without my wallet? No

* 96: Bullied someone on the internet? No

* 97: Had sex in public? Yes

* 98: Played on a sports team? Yes

* 99: Smoked weed? Yes

* 100: Did drugs? Yes

* 101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes

* 102: Drank alcohol? Yes

* 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

* 104: Been overweight? No

* 105: Been underweight? Yes

* 106: Been to a wedding? Yes

* 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

* 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

* 109: Been outside my home country? Yes

* 110: Gotten my heart broken? Sorta but I bounced back pretty quick so idk if that counts

* 111: Been to a professional sports game? Long ago

* 112: Broken a bone? No

* 113: Cut myself? I’m very accident prone

* 114: Been to prom? Yes

* 115: Been in airplane? Yes

* 116: Fly by helicopter? No

* 117: What concerts have I been to? So so so many. I miss them.

* 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? I’m gaaaaaaaay

* 119: Learned another language? I’ve been bilingual since I was a child

* 120: Wore make up? Yes

* 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? No

* 122: Had oral sex? Yes

* 123: Dyed my hair? Yes

* 124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

* 125: Rode in an ambulance? I worked for an ambulance company so just for fun

* 126: Had a surgery? Besides oral?

* 127: Met someone famous? I live in LA, so yes lol

* 128: Stalked someone on a social network? No

* 129: Peed outside? Yes

* 130: Been fishing? No, I’d like to!

* 131: Helped with charity? Yes

* 132: Been rejected by a crush? Fifth grade was a tough year for my love life...

* 133: Broken a mirror? No

* 134: What do I want for birthday? To be able to see all my friends in a safe environment

* 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? I’d like as many as I can comfortably afford. I’d have to discuss with the (future) wife about names

* 136: Was I named after anyone? The Virgin Mary (la Virgen Maria) and some Spanish actress named Barbara something...

* 137: Do I like my handwriting? No

* 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? I loved dolls

* 139: Favourite Tv Show? Bewitched

* 140: Where do I want to live when older? California forever unless properly convinced otherwise

* 141: Play any musical instrument? Used to play trumpet and alto sax. Can’t play anymore lol

* 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? See Q70

* 143: Favourite pizza toping? Pepperoni. I love all sorts of toppings but that’s my fav

* 144: Am I afraid of the dark? No

* 145: Am I afraid of heights? Yes

* 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes

* 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Daily

* 148: What I’m really bad at: Focusing. In my defense, I have ADHD

* 149: What my greatest achievments are: graduating college, getting promoted at work, buying my own car, purchasing a home

* 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I once got told “good luck on the short bus” by a guy that was upset I make more money than he does

* 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: take care of all my bills, invest, and then try to help as many of my loved ones as I could with theirs

* 152: What do I like about myself: my resilience

* 153: My closest Tumblr friend: @itssofragile

* 154: Something I fantasise about: My future

* 155: Any question you’d like? Nah, I think we’re good!

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 6, Number 7

Stars Like Fleas

The summer rolls on in a very peculiar way, with masks and zoom calls and brief, furtive trips to the grocery and the growing realization that normal is months, if not years, away.  Even so, the music remains excellent. Thank god it’s downloadable and accessible even in these strange days we inhabit. Here writers including Bill Meyer, Jennifer Kelly, Jonathan Shaw, Ian Mathers, Justin Cober-Lake and Ray Garraty consider improvised drone, precocious alt.country, experimental banjo tunes, rap metal and jazz.  Enjoy.

75 Dollar Bill — Live at Café Oto (75 Dollar Bill’s Social Music series)

Live at Cafe OTO by 75 Dollar Bill

Before 75 Dollar Bill put out those widely revered LPs for Thin Wrist records, Che Chen and Rick Brown made a series of tapes. You could pick them up at shows, packaged in a clamshell case with a business card advertising their services. 2020 is a plague year, so it’s going to be a while before anyone hires them for another party or a parade, but this download-only release fulfills similar functions. It captures the band at a particular moment in time, and it gives you a chance to throw a few bucks their way. Do so and you probably won’t be sorry, because the late 2019 tour documented by Live at Café Oto was unique in 75 Dollar Bill’s history. Chen and Brown did the whole run of shows with double bassist Andrew Lafkas, but they also did nearly all of them without essential gear. It wasn’t until near the end, when they played in England, that Brown was reunited with the big wooden box that is his main percussive instrument. Spread across three sets, this three-hour long album shows how swell they sound when they’ve got a committed agent of swing adding his subtle shift to their Bo Diddley meets Mauritanian wedding music groove. If you know I Was Real, you’ll recognize many of these tunes, and you’ll likely appreciate the differences that 75 Dollar Bill works and reworks upon them.

Bill Meyer

  Bandgang Lonnie Bands \ Bandgang Javar – The Scamily (TF Entertainment \ Empire)

After Bandgang broke up, Lonnie Bands made a successful solo career. His only misfortune, apart from a murder rap prosecutors tried to stick him with, was that he picked up a no-talent partner Javar. Here, surrounded by aggressive but undistinguished artists Mascoe and Paid Will, Lonnie hasn’t learned lesson. Thankfully, Javar makes his presence on The Scamily scarce, and the second half is basically Lonnie’s solo effort with some guests. As usual, Lonnie makes himself busy in illegal activities: drugs, scams, pimping, firearms. He neatly sums up his bad deeds on “Me Too”: “You on that bullshit? Me too.” The Scamily is not that focused as last year’s KOD but Lonnie, with his slick rhyming and catchy hooks, always reinvents a bad man’s lexicon.

Ray Garraty

 Sammy Brue — Crash Test Kid (New West)

Sammy Brue is no longer quite the wunderkind he was when he released his first full-length at 15, but he is still quite impressive here on the follow-up, hitching the spit and fire and wordy angst of, say, Ezra Furman, to the downhome pyrotechnics of Bob Log III. “Teenage Mayhem” explodes with teenage aggression, building out a twitchy blues riff into a monumental rock chorus, while “Crash Test Kid,” is softer sonically, but just as unflinching in its narrative. “Skatepark Doomsday Blues” is epic and grandiose but carries it off, infusing an old man’s blues progressions with the eruptive feelings of young manhood. All the signs point towards Brue growing into his art. He’s already channeling raw emotion into sharp song structures and lyrics without sacrificing their force. It’s a drag getting old, but it doesn’t have to be a step back.

Jennifer Kelly

 John Butcher — On Being Observed (Weight of Wax)

On Being Observed by John Butcher

English saxophonist John Butcher has a deep and diverse discography, much of it on CD. Since the standard of his playing is so high, and the settings and accompanists he selects so diverse, they’ve never been merely about documentation; you’d have to look hard to find a dud on the shelves. But as format preferences, economic shifts, and that damned virus turn everything upside down, Butcher has, like everyone else, found himself suddenly with plenty of time to comb through the hard drives and reassess the music stored there. And since CD manufacturing and distribution has been snarled up worldwide, what better time to transfer some of it straight to yours? On Being Observed comprises six solo performances recorded between 2000 and 2006, and you could not ask for a better introduction to what he does on his own. It features him in the studio, at a jazz festival, and in some unusual acoustic environments which afford a number of ways to understand what it means to read the room. Whether he’s playing to an audience or a 20 second delay in a dis-used gas storage facility, acoustically or amplified, using a soprano or tenor sax, Butcher’s tone is unmistakable, and his sense of how long to develop ideas and how to develop them is peerless.

Bill Meyer.

 Carling & Will — Soon Comes Night (self-released)

Carling & Will (banjo player Carling Berkhout and multi-instrumentalist William Seeders Mosheim) have spent the last few years working out new twists on old-time music. Their debut album Soon Comes Night takes another a step forward from their previous, more traditional sound. Much of the album relies on the interplay of banjo and electric guitar. The pair don't go for outre sounds, but Mosheim provides textures for Berkhout's banjo playing. “Lillie's Lullaby” offers a highlight, not only in its prettiness, but in its revelation of Berkhout's idiosyncracies as she shifts in and out of more typical patterns. The album in itself makes for a lovely collection of songs, but it has both the ups and downs of an act starting to find itself. Carling & Will have a distinct voice, and the more they work to develop that (probably by letting Berkhout get odder and Mosheim explore his voicings a little), the more impressive they'll become. If the pair decides to just focus on smaller updates to mountain music, they've already shown a worthy artistry in that.

Justin Cober-Lake

 Cloud Rat — “Faster” (Self-released)

Faster by Cloud Rat

Like a lot of us, the folks in Cloud Rat have been cooped up behind walls, watching the world burn. But that hasn’t stopped them from making some terrific music. This new track, “Faster,” has been posted to Bandcamp as a benefit for Black Lives Matter-aligned organizations. The song is somewhat in the mode of their most recent EP, Do Not Let Me off the Cliff (2019). That record traded in the band’s characteristic grindpunk intensities for some weirdo experiments in dreampop, noise and gauzy gothic nightmare soundtracks. “Faster” isn’t quite as far out there, and longtime listeners of the band will recognize some of the textures of tracks like “Moksha,” “Raccoon” and “Luminescent Cellar.” The song starts and ends with some lovely acoustic finger-picking by guest musician Andy Gibbs of Thou. In between, there are clean vocals by Madison Marshall that border on the ethereal, and electric riffs that build and build toward majestic heights. Good cause, great tune.

Jonathan Shaw  

 Drakeo the Ruler – Thank You for Using GTL (Stinc Team)

Recorded through a phone line from prison, with beats later provided by JoogSZN, Thank You For Using GTL right after its release was named best prison album since Penitentiary Chances, by now classic joint effort by C-Murder (still incarcerated) and Boosie Badazz (now free). It was too strong a claim to be true. On that duo’s album you can hear a sense of doom hanging over them. When all hope is lost, there is only a prayer, and even that can get lost on its way to God. There was no tomorrow. Drakeo the Ruler, on the other hand, raps like there is tomorrow. Even rough sound of voice recording and “This call is being recorded” tags are more like a necessary sound effect and a gimmick rather than an effect of reality (he couldn’t do it any other way). Strip this tape of all these effects, and you end up with an ordinary rap album, exactly like others released by dozens every week. Maybe there is no reason to thank GTL. It did us a disservice.

Ray Garraty

 Holy Hive — Float Back to You (Big Crown)

These super laid back funk soul cuts stay well inside the pocket, except when they veer unexpectedly into indie-folk. The funk parts come from one-time Dap King Homer Steinweiss, whose loose but transcendent way with a groove can be best heard on “Hypnosis.” Paul Spring, the singer, brings in the psychedelic falsetto, more Justin Vernon than Curtis Mayfield, but still radiant and chilling. The title track plays like a lost 78 soul classic, Spring’s mournful melody wafting skyward as big loopy bass notes and splayed jazz guitar chords drop into a slink and strut of snare drum. That’s maybe what you’d expect from Steinweiss’ Brooklyn soul revivalist resume, but elsewhere, there are surprises. “Red Is the Rose” sounds like Tunng, all space-bopped folk magic and electro-pinging drums, and “Be Thou By My Side” is lattice-picked folk without the slightest hint of syncopation. Both sides of Holy Hive have their sweetness, but only the funk stuff buries a stinger.

Jennifer Kelly    

 Dustin Laurenzi’s Snaketime — Behold (Astral Spirits)

Behold by Dustin Laurenzi

Here’s an irony for you. Composer Louis Hardin, whose habit of dressing up like a Viking and hawking his wares on the streets of mid-20th century NYC turned him into a bona fide attraction, may have conversed with jazz musicians, and shared a record label or two with them. But he didn’t really like jazz. Nonetheless, jazz musicians liked his music back, and they still do. The melodies are graceful, but malleable, and the Bach-meets-powwow rhythms have plenty of productive implications for a percussionist willing to work between the lines. After years of study Chicago-based tenor saxophonist Dustin Laurenzi formed Snaketime, a project named after one of the composer’s rhythmic notions, that turned seven of his compatriots loose upon the Moondog book. Maybe loose isn’t quite the right word, since Laurenzi’s arrangements show deep respect for the original melodies and their exotic vibe. But there’s not a lot of music that can’t be made a bit better when you ask bass clarinetist Jason Stein to improvise from its foundations. This half-hour long tape adds four tunes to the seven on last year’s excellent LP Snaketime: The Music of Moondog, and any one of them could have made the cut if Laurenzi had been given enough rope to make a it a double album in the first place.

Bill Meyer  

 MachineGum — Conduit (Frenchkiss)

Like its Pepto-Bismol-pink cover, these songs seem a bit over-sweet and undernourishing at first, but damned if their synth and disco and art-rock grooves didn’t start to catch on after a few listens. The project, launched in New York City with the mysterious appearance of pink gum machines, is not what you’d expect from a Strokes offshoot, but give Fabrizio Moretti credit for branching out. Here tight, “O Please”’s sleek, wah-wah’d guitars and fat-fingered bass throws off a funk shimmy, but soft, dream-y choruses add an element of electro-pop introspection. “Act of Contrition,” by contrast, swells and swirls with gothy new wave drama, but also vibrates with indie earnestness; it’s like the National playing a New Order cover. If you’d told me a month ago, that I’d be enjoying a super clean, super precise synth-dance album by a member of the Strokes, I’d have laughed, but here we are.

Jennifer Kelly

 Phosphene — Lotus Eaters (Self-Release)

Lotus Eaters by Phosphene

Portland’s Phosphene drifts and drones in a satisfying vintage 4AD-ish way, the serene vocals of Rachel Frankel wafting out over intricate tangles of shoe-gazey guitars as Matthew Hemmerich pounds out motorik rhythms on the kit. This album, the band’s second, was written in the turbulent aftermath of the 2016 election, but it exudes a murky calm. In “Carousel,” for example, Frankel sings about how “everyone gets lost in their own power,” but the temperature remains cool, dream-like, lit by arcs of guitar sound and undergirded by a thudding mantra of bass (Kevin Kaw). The two singles run closest to pop. Bright, upbeat “Cocoon” is spiked with Spoon-ish piano chords, while “The Wave” damn near bubbles with girl pop exuberance. I can see why they’re leaning on those cuts, but I like the cloudy radiance of “Seven Ways,” the morose moods of “The Body” better.

Jennifer Kelly

 Sara Schoenbeck / Wayne Horvitz — Cell Walk (Songlines)

Cell Walk by Wayne Horvitz/Sara Schoenbeck

Bassoonist Sara Schoenbeck and pianist Wayne Horvitz built to their first duo release slowly. They've been playing together since the previous decade in Horvitz's Gravitas Quartet, working together in various styles. The bassoon doesn't necessarily lend itself to jazz, but Schoenbeck's experience with artists like Roscoe Mitchell and Anthony Braxton — as well as in various orchestras and symphonies — has revealed her fluency in different languages. Horvitz and Schoenbeck develop that approach on Cell Walk, mixing composed and improvised tracks, moving from jazz to classical and back again, happily residing in a new music space. The pair's chamber background comes to the fore more than anything else, but the artists' experimental ideas and Horvitz's occasional electronics keep the duo moving forward. The album mostly stays cool, although a few tempo shifts and Schoenbeck's varied tone create unexpected energy any time the disc starts to settle. Schoenbeck and Horvitz fill an unlikely niche, but they also make a good case for expanding it.

Justin Cober-Lake

  R.E. Seraphin — Tiny Shapes (Paisley Shirt)

Tiny Shapes by R.E. Seraphin

Ray Seraphin makes sweet, sharp songs out of guitar jangle and whispers that seem to nestle right in your ear. His first cassette under his own name after a stint in the slightly more abrasive Talkies kicks up a power pop dust and haze a la Luna or, more recently, Plates of Cake. Like these bands, however, he envelops smart, coiling melodies and wild spiralling guitar hijinks in daydreaming inchoate jangles. In “Streetlight,” Seraphin vamps and caroms in spike-y mid-temperature anthemry, crooning “And I won’t feel a thing,” and indeed there’s a misty, nostalgic remove around most of this album’s emotional content. Yet there’s also a classic pop shape that can’t quite be obscured by muttered, offhand delivery. “Fortuna” is the best bit, to my ears, a summer radio megahit heard from several rooms away, bittersweet and slipping away even as it plays.

Jennifer Kelly

 Stars Like Fleas — DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO (Amsterdam) (self released)

DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO (Amsterdam) by Stars Like Fleas

New York collective Stars Like Fleas are still gone, but the tracers and streamers left in the air by their passing continue to be entrancing. Whatever collapsed in the wake of their work on the follow up to their epochal LP The Ken Burns Effect can perhaps be glimpsed a little in the bulk of this first (and hopefully not last) release from what they describe as “a huge archive of live and session material.” As the title indicates, six of the 11 tracks here come from a radio session they did during their final tour (coming apart and leaving the final album unfinished upon their return to America). Along with a couple of Ken Burns highlights that session is all new material and it is as rich as anything they released during their lifetime. The collection is rounded out with some brief improvisations and another track intended for the final album, the 7” single “End Times”, and a wonderful performance of “Falstaff” from a Toronto show. Perversely and beautifully enough, the result is not only a must listen for fans of the group, it makes an excellent introduction for anyone who missed them the first time. Bring on the archives!  

Ian Mathers  

 Thecodontion — Supercontinent (I, Voidhanger)

Supercontinent by Thecodontion

 A death metal band entirely devoted to songs about ancient, paleolithic lifeforms and geological history? It’s not the most harebrained musical concept you may have heard — it even makes a sort of sense. What better musical genre to address such massive, atavistic and lumbering forms? Supercontinent is the Italian duo’s first LP, following 2019’s Jurassic EP. As its title suggests, this new Thecodontion record goes way, way back, to primal landforms, before continental drift assembled the earthball’s map into its current shape. Appropriately, the longest track on Supercontinent is “Pangaea,” named for the unimaginably huge late Paleozoic landmass. Thecodontion’s featured instrument is Giuseppe D’Adiutorio’s bass, which he variously thrums, hammers and shreds. He gets some pretty amazing sounds out of it, sometimes producing the soaring, moaning, keening sounds that Greg Lake coaxed out of his bass on the early King Crimson recordings. The proggy reference is pointed; Thecodontion’s high concept project smacks of prog’s grandiosity. But where prog shoots for the heavens, Thecodontion goes bone hunting. It’s interesting work.  

Jonathan Shaw

 Various Artists — Building A Better Reality: A Benefit Compilation (JMY)

Building A Better Reality : A Benefit Compilation by Various Artists

As Bandcamp’s choice to waive its portion of transaction proceeds in favor or certain needs and causes has evolved from an occasional to a monthly event, releases have started to appear which take advantage of both the event and the rapidity of production when no physical objects are being produced. George Floyd died under a policeman’s knee on May 25; this compilation was released just 24 days later, on Juneteenth. Brent Gutzeit of TV Pow secured 106 contributions from friends, friends of friends, and customers of friends — and that’s just the parties that this writer recognizes. They range in length from Kendraplex’s 58 seconds of metallic shredding to Joshua Abrams’ half hour of mournful clarinet and cathartic double bass. You’ll find acoustic protest music, swinging jazz, harsh noise, hip-hop, and a sound collage that includes sounds of protest and mourning. The participants include Simon Joyner, Jsun Borne, I Kong Kult, Jesse Goin, Chris Brokaw, AZITA, Keith Fullerton Whitman, and the Jeb Bishop Trio, along with many, many more. Have I listened to them all yet? Of course not! But the thing with a set like this is that you don’t need to. Put it into your shuffle play and it’ll yield surprises for years to come. Income goes to Black Lives Matter, NAACP Legal Defense Fund. and the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

Bill Meyer

 Michael Vincent Waller — A Song (Longform Editions)

A Song by Michael Vincent Waller

At first listen, you might not guess that composer Michael Vincent Waller’s new EP/song A Song is an improvised piece, and as the surrounding material on Bandcamp makes clear, that’s kind of part of the point. Composition vs. improvisation is the kind of duality where both sides are never really distinct, and Waller is both interested in the history of composers improvising and (possibly naturally) improvises in a way that’s not a million miles away from his compositions. Which also means that just on that first listen the 21 minutes of solo piano found here are frequently beautiful, whether patiently probing a set of arpeggios or momentarily going somewhere a bit darker and deeper near the end. Whether considered as work done around or between more composed ones or in its own right, A Song makes for both a fine follow up to Waller’s 2019 collection Moments and a brief thesis on the always permeable boundary between two methods of creation.  

Ian Mathers