#like 'oh well they're just __ and that's why they're that way so i don't have to think about it any further than that' instead of actually

[endless-ineffabilities]

✨️jealous modern Aemond who's your fwb✨️ (18+)

for context: they're in law school. the setting is Aemond's room. fwb was Aemond's idea, but he's also the one who breaks the rules and falls first.

✍️ more Aem

You lie on your side on Aemond's bed, absentmindedly thumbing through the pages of your textbook. It's for one of the classes you share with his sister Helaena, who will certainly kill the both of you if she ever finds out about your arrangement.

He has been acting aloof ever since he found out that you hooked up with his friend Robb after last week's party.

And you, bless your oblivious little heart, have no clue as to why. You didn't even make the correlation. You just suspect that maybe he's grown bored of hooking up with you, and soon, you'll no longer be burdened with this secret.

Then he speaks up. "Do you like him?"

"What? Who?" You twist your neck to look at him. He sits near the foot of the bed, attempting to appear busy on his phone. You think he's texting, but he's debating whether to change his home screen to a photo of you two together. He's wondering if you would even care.

"Robb." He can't help but grit his teeth at the name. You're confused as to why he sounds so agitated. They've always been good buddies. They even went to damn prep school together.

In fact, Aemond was the one who introduced you to Robb.

"Well, I hope so. I wouldn't have fucked him if I didn't like him," you remark crassly, thinking it would cause him to smile or smirk or hell, even offer words of solidarity like, I get that.

Instead, he takes it to another direction.

"Is he better than me?"

"I don't know," you shrug the question off, turning back your book. "Never gave it much thought, really."

"Think about it then."

"You're being weird, Aem."

"How 'bout I help you reach your conclusion."

Your bare ass is suddenly exposed to the cool air when he pulls your shorts down. He gives the flesh a good smack, his fingers squeezing the fat on impact.

Before you can ask what the hell's gotten into him, Aemond crawls up behind you, spooning your body.

You feel his digit graze your folds, rubbing at the moisture that starts to pool from your core and spreading it around. His lodges his hardening cock between your legs, and it slides easily due to your precum. He rubs himself against you, shamelessly getting off while his hand creeps up your—his—sweatshirt to fondle your breast.

His mouth is by the shell of your ears, his deep and lustful grunts echoing.

"Fuck me, what's—aghhhh—what's gotten into you, Aem?" you ask, not that you're complaining. It's a more than welcome distraction from criminal law 101.

"Shhh, just... wanna make you feel good, baby. Just take it. Let me—" He finally enters you, and it's as perfect as all the times before. He tilts your jaw toward him with a tight grip so he can steal a kiss, his tongue swiping at your lips, your cheek, and whatever else of you it collides with.

"Yeah, that feels—oh fuck—" You reach back and thread your fingers through his white-blonde hair, tugging slightly the way he likes it.

"Yeah?" He picks up the pace, the schlicking sounds from where your bodies are joined reaching your ears.

"Yeah. Your cock always feels fucking good."

"Just good?"

"Whaddaya want me to say?" you manage, in between all the panting.

"Was he good too?" He sounds needy. Pathetic. It's never a good look for anyone, but for some reason, it's so fucking hot when he does it.

"Aemond—"

"You're mine, baby. Mine." He buries himself to the hilt, before pausing, waiting for your go-ahead.

"Shit, okay."

"Say it." Because it's not enough for him. He doesn't move, keeping you wanting until he gets what he wants. Always been selfish that way.

"I'm yours then. All yours, babe."

It's as if you just uttered the magic words, because he jackrabbits to an extreme, his pelvis snapping against your ass with unrelenting force. His fingers dig into your hips, guiding you right onto his cock. It doesn't take long before he's filling your pussy with his cum. He bites down hard on the crook of your neck, his body giving a euphoric shudder behind you. When he's finished, every drop of pleasure squeezed inside you, he relaxes. He anchors his jaw on your shoulder, resting his head against yours, taking deep breaths to get down from such a high.

His moment of calm is shattered when you rise from the bed and disappear into his bathroom to clean his spend, before it dries into a sticky mess as it drips down your inner thighs.

"I have to go," you tell Aemond nonchalantly. As if he did not just fuck your brains out. Well, if no-strings-attached is what he wants, that's what he'll get. "I have civil procedure in 15 minutes."

"Okay..." He's resigned, until he remembers. "Isn't Robb taking that as well?"

"Uhm, yes, but—"

"I'll come with you," he blurts out, making you regard him as if he released precious brain cells when he ejaculated.

"What? You're not even in this class, Aem."

"I'll sit in. Don't have much to do today, anyway."

"Okay? So go out then. Call Alys up, take her to lunch. Why would you waste your time—"

But he's already at the door. "What are you waiting for? We're going to be late."

He trails you out, pleased that you put your hair up. Robb should see the marks he left blooming on your neck and know not to mess with what's his.

[theminecraftbee]

hello second. this week's wildcard got a friend to start reading hgcz and now because of that im back In The Trenches. d. do you have any thoughts. on soup group

Gem thumps her head against the bar and groans. Outside, the 'open' sign is not lit. It is 10 AM, and it is time for neither customers nor villainy. If it were time for customers, Gem would probably be in the secret base in the former-Speakeasy basement (she is, apparently, not suited for customer service). If it were time for villainy, well, Gem would either be there or on the streets, causing the kinds of problems only she and her gun can cause.

No, it is time for none of those things. Instead, it is time for something far worse: paperwork.

"I don't need health insurance!" Gem says. "Or life insurance! Or insurance-insurance! I'm pretty sure I'm like, uninsurable? On account of technically only sort of being a real person? It's not like I can go back to the Farm and go 'oh by the way, I need my birth certificate' now, it's defunct!"

"Everyone needs health insurance," Impulse says gravely.

"No, I don't! We see Doctor Zombie! You know, the black market doctor? The one who half the villains and vigilantes in the city see? I pay her in like, secrets and cadavers, not--"

"Don't admit that, the cops'll get you," Pearl says, throwing a dart at the bar's dartboard.

"You think that's what they're going to arrest me for? Giving dead bodies to the doctor? Because like, man, they're choosing the weirdest crime to finally get me for if so" Gem asks.

"I mean, maybe!" Pearl says.

"None of us are cops and you're getting health insurance. Now choose your most airtight fake ID," Impulse says, and then, seemingly thinking twice about getting trying to get Gem to choose which of her four currently-unburnt fake identities to go with, grabs her wallet and starts going through it himself. She lifts her head from the bar, accepting she's lost this argument.

"My SSN is six," Gem says to him dryly. He rolls his eyes and continues meticulously filling out paperwork. She sighs and turns to Pearl. "Really, can you believe this man? Health insurance! You know, at this rate I'm going to be told I'm a necessary budget cut a second time. And if the identity he chooses gets burnt, you know that'll just lead one of the people hunting us down right back to this bar. Knowing our luck, it'll be Hotguy or Cuteguy. Ugh, imagine."

She expects Pearl to joke back. Instead she's met with Pearl's face, tired and sad and fond all at once.

"Is it really so much to think he just wants to take care of you?" Pearl asks.

Gem listens as, for a moment, the scratch of Impulse's pen against the paper stops. He sighs. A low roll of fog spreads out across the bar. He resumes writing.

"I don't like, need taken care of," Gem says.

Pearl's expression gets a little more exhausted.

"Have you considered that I also want to take care of you? To do something I know--a little impact, while we can? For someone who it won't hurt to give that help to?"

Gem goes silent.

"Think of it as weapons maintenance," Impulse rumbles, and it makes it make sense but before Gem can say so, Pearl stabs one of the darts into the dartboard so hard it rips.

"Stop saying it like that," she says.

"Sorry," Impulse and Gem say at the same time.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you two," Pearl says. "I'm going to go get the backup. That college group that's real bad at darts normally comes in today."

She stalks to the back of the bar. Gem looks over at Impulse. Impulse looks back. She suspects their expressions are equally apologetic. They're also equally fond, and equally, well...

"You know, sometimes I wonder if she's going to be okay," Impulse says.

"Yeah," Gem says.

"I do actually need an SSN for... Aries Eva?"

"I'll get that for you. It's just--it's not actually the insurance I mind. You sure you want me legally tied to your small business?" Gem asks.

"Why wouldn't I? It's not like she's wrong," Impulse says, and Gem breathes out herself, doesn't comment on the growing fog, and writes down a number. She resolves not to use the health insurance. It's too much of a risk that someone will track it back to these people who think she's worth taking care of.

Still. She supposes it's not that bad to have.

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 8

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

The kids leave the next day, after Steve's heart has mostly reformed itself. It's still a little beat up and mangled, but it's clearly a heart again, and it barely hurts anymore.

He doesn't know how he'll ever be able to thank them.

Eddie doesn't call.

—

His house stops being empty.

Robin's over almost constantly, their hearts in each other's chests more often than not. He can tell Robin's worried about him, and he likes feeling her emotions - it tells him when she's upset, or sad, and he can respond without her having to say anything.

The rest of the kids are over almost as constantly, as though his house has just become the de facto hang out.

He minds it a lot less than he pretends to.

Erica sulks at him, and he can't figure out why until Lucas makes a comment about their heart sharing and she rolls her eyes so hard he's afraid they're going to pop out.

Steve frowns at her, hanging back after the others have gone on into the kitchen.

“That's an extra level of snide, even for you,” he says.

She gives him a look. “You want it directed at you?”

He holds up his hands. “What'd I do?”

Her look only becomes more unimpressed. “You had my brother over for your little healing pow-wow? He wasn't even part of Scoops Troop.”

Oh.

That's.

Oh.

Never in a hundred years did he think Erica Sinclair would be throwing a fit because she didn't get to be a part of their group heart sharing, but here it is.

“You want to swap?” Steve asks.

Erica scoffs at him. “I don't need your pity heart exchange.”

“It's not pity,” he protests.

This time the look practically burns through him.

“Robin and I do it all the time,” he insists. “It's easier. It means we can understand the way the other one feels without having to figure out how to say it.”

Her eyebrows raise. “And you want to know how I feel?”

Steve holds out his hand in response.

She stares at him for a long moment, then sighs in a far too long suffering manner before she takes her heart out and gives it to him. He exchanges his for hers, and -

“Is it messed up again?” Dustin demands. “Why didn't you tell me?”

He honestly isn't sure if the surge of somewhat affectionate irritation he feels is his or Erica's, and he exchanges what he suspects is a near identical look with her.

Dustin narrows his eyes at them. “What's this look you're doing, I really don't like it on both of you.”

“That's because it's bad news for you,” Erica retorts.

“We're just swapping,” Steve says.

“It's what you do when someone is a little too hard headed and out of touch with their feelings to realize how insensitive they're being.”

That is absolutely not what Steve had been going for, but Erica says it with such superiority and Dustin is looking so contemplative at it that he just sighs and goes with it.

Erica shoots him a smug little look - she knows exactly what she's doing and how he feels about it.

“Mike!” Dustin shouts. “Come here, we're swapping, so you can know that I'm right!”

Steve groans, but there's no stopping it now.

Swaps are called to settle arguments, to prove that this movie really is scary guys come on, for a dozen other reasons until Steve honestly can't be sure who has whose heart at any given moment.

He'd worry about the effects of so much heart swapping, but - the kids seem happy. Sometimes he even catches them just sitting with each other and swapping, and after everything they've lost - who is he to say what's healthy and what isn't?

Steve can't complain.

Well. He can, and he does, but he also knows this is probably the happiest he's ever been in this house, so he doesn't complain too much.

—

Eddie still doesn't call.

He doesn't answer, either, when Steve calls him. Any of the times Steve calls him.

Steve drives out there, once, stupidly. He's pretty sure he can hear Eddie's music, but the trailer’s dark, and no one answers.

Steve takes the hint after that.

He doesn't let anyone but Robin swap with him for a while, as long as he can get away with. He doesn't really have a name for what he's feeling - he doesn't want to put a name to what he's feeling - and she doesn't make him.

—

The Hopper-Byers are moving.

None of the party take it well, but it seems to hit Max the hardest.

Or at least, he assumes it does, because she's suddenly not over for a week straight, and Steve knows avoidance when he sees it.

He finds her sitting at the skate park, all alone, but she doesn't protest when he sits down next to her.

“Swap?” Steve asks softly.

Max rolls her eyes. “I'm fine.”

He gives her the most unimpressed look he can muster.

She scoffs, then gives him one right back. “Okay, so, what, you want to feel angry and miserable too?”

Steve weighs his options for a moment, considering how to respond, then decides just to go for honesty. “Yeah,” he says simply. “I'm not here just for the good stuff, Mayfield, I'm here for all of it.”

She looks at him for a long moment, her expression hard. Then she wrenches her chest open.

He pops his open, too, taking his heart out and offering it to her. Steve expects her to take it and put her own in his hand, but instead she shoves her own heart into his chest before he can so much as blink, snatching his out of his hand. He blinks at her, but - yeah, okay, fine, that works.

She is angry, and miserable. She hated Billy, and she's still sad, and El is the only one who really gets her, and she knows that's not true, and everyone leaves, and he hasn't left, and she loves and she hates and she's so tired.

Steve can't really put any of it into words, but he doesn't have to.

He just has to be there.

—

School starts, and it gets quieter. He and Dustin still have their weekly movie nights, and he plays ball with Lucas, cooks dinner with Max, but Robin's the only one over as much as she used to be.

It's - actually fine, this time. He gets a job at Family Video, and he hangs out with Robin and spends time with the kids and goes on dates, and he's still happy.

Well, except the going on dates bit. Something's missing, something obvious, but he tells himself that's fine, too.

—

Dustin starts talking about Eddie, a few months into school.

Well, he talks about Hellfire, which Steve doesn't really put together at first, but he's happy Dustin's having fun with his club.

When he mentions Eddie, Steve probes a little, asks how he joined up. Dustin lights up, talking about how Eddie looked out for them starting from day one, even if he's definitely a little scary at times, and Steve -

“Swap?” Robin asks the second she gets to his house later, like she took one look at him and knew he needed it.

They both need it, actually.

She has feelings about Vickie, and he has feelings about Eddie, and they're both complicated and messy and neither of them know what to do about it.

“Ask her out,” Steve tells her.

“She doesn't even like girls!”

“How do you know?”

“How do you know?”

And that's - point, okay, Steve has nothing to counter that. Yet. He just has to start collecting proof.

Robin feels his intentions and gives a dramatic huff, but she doesn't try to stop him.

She won't admit it, but she's grateful.

“Do you regret asking Eddie out?” she asks.

He makes a face. “I mean, I didn't ask him out so much as take him out a bunch of times, realize like halfway through it that's what I was doing, and then he ran the second I made it obvious, so… I guess I regret not actually asking him.”

She considers that. “Do you think it would have changed anything?”

“I don't know,” he admits. “Maybe I could have made it so he didn't feel like he had to run, maybe we could have still been friends? I wish I'd known what I was doing and I'd done it different, but… I think I'd regret it more if I didn't try at all.”

She drops her shoulder against his. “Of course you would. You always go for what you want, it's like you have no fear.”

He has plenty of fear - she's felt it - but not about shooting his shot. She's right; he's a man of action, and he's not sure he knows how to be anything else.

“Ugh, let's stop talking about it. I'm glad he's still a good guy and is watching out for the little shits, end of story.”

It's not the end of the story, but for now, they both let it be.

—

Dustin calls him to beg him to play in Hellfire with him, and Steve groans audibly.

“Does Eddie know you're asking me?” he asks.

Dustin scoffs. “Of course not, but I have to show up with someone on Friday.”

Steve frowns. “On Friday? That's the championship game. Lucas is playing.”

Dustin groans, and Steve makes a little bit of a face at himself when he realizes the kid sounds almost exactly like him.

“Don't remind me,” Dustin grumbles. “He's the reason we have to find someone in the first place.”

“Lucas asked you to find someone to sub in for him?”

Steve doesn't even need Dustin's heart to be able to tell the silence that follows is guilty as hell.

“Dustin,” Steve says.

“Ugh, fine! Lucas asked us to come to the stupid game. He asked us to get Eddie to move Hellfire so he wouldn't miss the last session.”

“And did you?” Steve prompts.

“Of course!” Dustin says, indignant. “Eddie was pissed. Called Lucas a traitor, said now it was our responsibility to find someone to fill in for Lucas since he ditched us.”

That - isn’t what Steve was expecting at all.

“And instead of standing up for Lucas, you're doing what Eddie says?”

“He ditched us!” Dustin insists.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “Go swap with Lucas.”

Dustin makes an almost incomprehensible noise of protest.

“Swap with Lucas, and tell him what Eddie said. If you guys come to an agreement and you still need a sub, I'll think about it.”

He'd rather watch Lucas play, and that's sure as hell what he's going to do if Dustin doesn't follow through, but if both Lucas and Dustin agree, then he'll sub in.

Not just to give Eddie a piece of his mind about this whole thing.

“You're no help!” Dustin retorts, hanging the phone up.

Robin leans against him. “Are we talking about it now?”

He considers that, then wordlessly takes his heart out and offers it to her. They swap, sitting in silence for a moment as they adjust to each other's feelings.

She's upset. He is, too, though not about exactly the same thing.

“I'm still not mad at him for how things went between him and me,” he says.

“I am,” she replies, sharp and firm. “He made your heart hurt, I still think I should get to kick his ass.”

It's not Eddie's fault, though, not as far as Steve's concerned. Steve was the one that fumbled around without knowing what he was doing, that came on too strong. He didn't get it then, but now that he knows Robin and Will and how difficult things are for them - he understands it better.

But one of the things that made Steve fall for Eddie in the first place was the way he watched out for people. It wasn't the same way Steve did it, but - they were both protective, both willing to take the hits so other people wouldn't have to. It's disappointing to see how he's pitting the kids against each other like this.

He wishes they were still friends, wishes he could call him and ask what was going on.

“If he hurts one of the kids’ hearts, then you can kick his ass,” he says finally, once he's worked through his feelings and felt Robin's support.

—

It comes back, because it always does.

It comes back, and Eddie comes back, and Steve wasn't expecting that.

—

There's tension in the boathouse even after everything's been explained, and Steve knows everyone can feel it.

Knows because it's only a few moments before Dustin's announcing, “Hearts out! We'll show you we mean it, right, guys?”

Steve sneaks a look over at Max. He still hasn't gotten a really good look at her heart since after the 4th, but maybe - no, she clearly hasn't shown anyone else here, because she's gone pale, and she looks a combination of pissed and afraid.

“Dustin,” Steve snaps, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice and failing a little. “Did you forget that some of us have hearts that aren't all that reassuring to see?”

Dustin's expression scrunches for a moment, and Steve feels most of his irritation fade away as he realizes that, yeah, Dustin did forget that.

“Oh,” Dustin says quietly. “It's okay, Steve, you don't-”

“No,” he cuts him off, still a little annoyed. “Look, we all know that I'm the one causing doubt here, right? I'll show my heart so Munson knows I mean it and we can get this over with.”

He doesn't want to, but he wants even less for this to put a spotlight on Max.

So he takes his heart out, gets back in close enough for Eddie to see it, says, “We're not lying, man, I promise.”

His heart beats true, true, true in his hands, but Eddie's eyes are going wide and wet as he stares at Steve's heart, and he isn't any less pale.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he whispers. “What the hell happened?”

“Nothing you have to worry about,” he replies, putting his heart back in his chest as soon as he can. “It's not going to happen to you.”

It comes out a little more protective than he'd intended, and it makes Eddie's eyes dart up to his, trying to search for something in there. Steve can't tell what, and he doesn't have Eddie's heart in his chest to help him out.

Strange, how quickly he's come to rely on having that familiarity with those he cares about.

Less strange that Eddie is still someone he cares about.

“Do you want to see mine?” Eddie asks, soft enough that Steve's pretty sure he's the only one who can hear it.

Steve does, is the thing. He really does.

But not like this.

“Do you want me to?” he asks, just as soft.

Eddie looks away, silent enough that Steve knows what the answer is without him saying anything.

“People try to make me show it all the time,” Eddie says, a little bitter. “I'm not trustworthy, you know. I'm not honest. I'm just going to screw them over.”

Steve's quiet for a moment, unsure what to say. He doesn't know how to tell him that Steve's never seen him that way, that all those other people are stupid.

Finally, he settles on, “I still haven't asked.”

Eddie turns to look at him again, his eyes gone molten. “No,” he says softly. “You haven't.”

Steve gives a half shrug. “There you go then.”

-----

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally @thatdamnfan @justalittledrainbamage @strangerfolks @disrespectedgoatman @amber-ambience @anxietyfulloption @thepossummoldypasta @irregular-child @th30ra3k3n

[devildomditzy]

Mammon/Asmo would object to a wedding. They might not even know the people, they just like drama

Who's Most Likely to... Object at a Wedding?

That would be Asmo and Mammon

(And oh my god you gave me a great idea)

Link to the masterpost

"I object!"

Gasps resound around the crowd at the shrill voice that erupted from somewhere in the group. Well, one side of the crowd. Namely your side, your relatives and friends all shocked by the scene unfolding in front of them. As for the demon's side - well, groans accompanied by eyerolls fall over the section, all as everyone in the room looks to Asmo, standing from his seat with his hand raised to the sky, puppy dog eyes making direct contact with yours.

"Oh come on!", Mammon yells next to your side, letting go of your hand in favor of facing his brother and pointing accusingly in his direction.

"Whaddya mean you object!"

Asmo glares back with a smirk, hands flying to his hips. "I mean MC should be marrying mwah! Not some scummy idiot with a gambling addiction!". He folds his hands together, bringing them to his face, tilting his head, looking at you as if you were an injured kitten. "Poor thing."

"Hey! Why dontcha say that to my face, ya self-obsessed air head!", Mammon calls back in response, beginning to step off the alter. You give Barbatos, who was officiating the ceremony, your most apologetic smile as you grab Mammon by the back of his collar, preventing his tirade further.

Your family exchanges worried glances, with murmurs of "What's going on?" and "Someone do something!" echoing through the room.

"I already did!', Asmo giggles, smiling as he looks om at his brother. "And so, I object."

"W-Well, I object to your objection!", Mammon yells, still raring to make a run at his little brother.

You swear you hear Lucifer audibly groan among the commotion.

"It's not up to you!", Asmo sing-songs, taunting him.

"It's not up to me? I'm their groom for cryin' out loud!", says Mammon, increasing angry. He shakes loose from your grasp and starts his march towards the fifth born.

"Mammon, don't make me-", you begin before Asmo cuts you off.

"Yeah, Mammon, don't make them choose! Why don't we just swap places? I'm sure they'll be much happier with me!"

"Mammon!", you call after him, but its no use. You can tell when your first man is seeing red.

He makes his way through the aisles, grabbing Asmo by the collar.

"Oh my~", he coos in response.

You've just about had it with this mess, and it seems you're not the only one. Barbatos clears his throat from next to you where he stands at the ready.

"MC, I do believe its time to do 'the thing' that you were mentioning."

You sigh in annoyance, handing him your bouquet momentarily. You face the two pain-in-your-asses causing a ruckus and clear your throat, balling up your firsts at your side.

"STAAAAAYYY!!!!!"

Both boys suddenly fall to the floor. Hard.

In fact, all the brothers fall to the floor.

"Whoops."

There are moans from the seats behind where Mammon and Asmo now sit on the floor.

"Oww", Levi whines.

"What the hell was that for?", complains Belphie, who sits up, rubbing the side of his head.

"No, it was necessary", Lucifer sighs as he stands, brushing off the front of his coat, looking up at you. 'They're all yours."

Everyone's attention now snaps to Mammon and Asmo, who look up at you pathetically from their positions.

"You!", you say, pointing at Mammon, "need to learn to recognize when Asmo is just trying to get under your skin. Seriously, how do you not know by now? You've known him for what now? A gajillion years? And why would you think for a second I'd leave you for anyone else? When I'm literally standing next to you trying to become your lifelong partner!?"

"And you!", you shift yourself, pointing at Asmo now, "know I love you. And I know you love me. But we both know that love is strictly platonic! I get you like to mess with Mammon, but did you have to do it on my wedding day?"

"Sowwy!", Asmo baby talks, knocking himself in the head lightly with his fist. "But this is just the rehearsal, right? I'd never do this during the real thing, silly! But I thought that the mood was so drab that we could use some drama!"

"Are you fuckin' with me right now!?", Mammon stares at his brother in disbelief.

"Not right now, no. I was 'fucking' with you about three minutes ago", Asmo winks., before continuing.

"But, sorry Mammon. I didn't think you'd take it that seriously. I mean, we all know you two were made for each other. Why would I really have a shot with MC anyway? Why would any of us?", Asmo looks sheepish as he crosses his arms, shaking his head.

Mammon blinks heavily and looks back to you as you stick out your arm, helping him to his feet. Asmo smiles as he watches.

"I mean, do you see the way they look at you?", he questions, prompting Mammon to blush deeply as he looks into your eyes.

You smile, walking backwards as you lead Mammon back up to the alter.

"Sorry!", you apologize brightly to your family. "It's always something", you shake your head, laughing.

"Now, may I...", Barbatos asks you, searching both of your faces for acknowledgement to proceed.

"I do!", Mammon blurts out, red as can be.

"Mammon, we already said I do", you giggle, grinning brightly at him.

"R-right. Yea, alright", he says, barely paying attention as he turns to Barbatos. "C'mon, can I kiss them now?", he asks, pointing at you.

Barbatos makes a small sound of defeat as he stops his speech, opting instead to smile. "I don't see why not."

For the first time today, the crowd is filled with cheers instead of startled gasps as Mammon grabs you and - of course - dramatically dips you, sealing your lips with a kiss.

He pulls back and smiles.

"I can't wait to do that to ya again tomorrow."

[naamahdarling]

Silly Game Time: The Skeleton King has asked for my hand in marriage ... Again (sigh).

How can I let him down gently enough to not make him an enemy, but firmly enough that he'll stop asking?

Listen. I know the Werewolf King is a total chad or whatever they're calling them now, and he has that pineapple farm and everything, and he has a really wonderful, supportive family who are actually very gentle.

I know he doesn't live in the "frozen wastes" which are just moors in winter, come on. I know the Werewolf King doesn't have like fifteen ex-situationships wandering around as banshees and wraiths and what-have-you, which can be a little teensy bit awkward when all you want to do is pace the castle walls, and all they want to do is scream and rend at their spectral hair.

But I need you to know the whole story.

They were friends before, I'm sure people have told you that. But no, yeah, back when the Skeleton King was just this prissy, gay little lich clattering around the dating scene, they were dating. Did you know that?They were really close. I don't know if the Werewolf King told you that. They were like boyfriend close.

They would have gotten married but the Skeleton King's dad finally disarticulated (at like the worst possible time) and he had to ascend and take the crown and that required sacrifices. It was so stupid.

Rather than claim the lives of fourteen of the Werewolf King's family and his husband the Werewolf King in order to ascend to the throne, he married that Viktor von Vampire or whatever his name was. I think we're all still forbidden from saying it even though he's dead. More dead. Whatever.

I know you heard there was backstabbing, and maybe that's why you're hesitating, but it was totally misrepresented. He married the vampire and then all of the vampire's petty, gross little ghouls got what they'd been deserving for four bratty, bratty centuries, and were discorporated.

I know it was like 60 years while the Skeleton King tried to kill that vampire douchebag, and it all looked really bad! It did! He killed his husband! But you know that fully half of the supernatural marriages that don't end in divorce and in some kind of permanent death or discorporation or what-have-you. It's not like nobody saw it coming, they're just being judgy.

And if he'd explained to the Werewolf King what was going on, about getting married just for the sacrifices and all, and told him that they could still totally be together afterwards, well. The werewolf King is a really great guy and would totally have committed his entire pack to the eradication of all those disgusting little vampire lackeys and their cults.

I don't need to tell you how that would have ended. I really don't. I mean, they're really just a bunch of puppies. They're just silly little puppies tumbling around that giant manor, playing all the time and hunting all the game and having music nights and dancing and barbecues, and it's all really fun. I mean, you've been immersed in it for the last 5 years. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

They're great, they're really great, they're very strong and brave and all of that, and the Werewolf King absolutely would have been up for a fight like that, that's why he's like king of all the werewolves ever, but oh my God his auntie? His cousins? Absolutely not the kind of people who could tear cultists apart. And I'm sure you know by now they wouldn't have listened if they were told to stay away. They can't keep their noses out of anything.

So it kind of had to be the way it was to prevent an absolute puppy slaughter. You don't want that, I don't want that, it's all just too awful to think about.

With all that in mind, I know there's some awkwardness about the time he made off with you in the night. The abduction. Okay! Okay, sorry. The kidnapping.

But you also know about the old curse on your family now, and why he really felt like he had to do it. I mean, your family was living on his land, and there were all these exes of his wandering around just waiting to suck your life force away if you had even one toe outside after the sun went down, or if your mirrors weren't perfectly aligned or your salt wasn't the right kind, god, who knew the really tasty flaky stuff was actually worse for that sort of thing? He kind of felt like he owed it to you. Hence the abd-- the kidnapping, sorry. And the gross blood ritual to make you immune to their bullshit. I mean, he's the one who created them, and you can't deny the fact that he absolutely stepped up to deal with the consequences.

I know it was awkward and all, but the two of you really had something together. Like, right away. Do you remember that entire summer where nobody could stop singing because some farmer broke some stone in his field and there was an ancient spirit trapped inside of it and it was just, well it was just a whole thing?

Everybody was just singing their real feelings, right out loud. It was so embarrassing. It was like the musical episode of every TV show ever, so unoriginal. But all of us saw your musical number together and it was really obvious that there is something incredible there.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to defend him, it's just been really hard for him to watch you going around with his ex, and both of you are so happy, cares about you both so much.

Okay, I can see you're not convinced. I'm not supposed to tell you this. I'm not even supposed to be able to? But I'm some kind of quasi feline creature on my dad's side and I can only be loosely bound by curses or geasa or whatnot. Everything just sort of falls off if I lose one of my lives. And don't tell anyone, but that time I saw a bird and ran full tilt into the glass window at your boyfriend's manor? I know you think I knocked myself out, but I didn't.

No, no, that's not what killed me, no, sweetie, you did fine. I actually died of embarrassment three hours later. When you heard me stop sobbing? Yeah. That was when. It was only for like 6 or 7 minutes though so, not a big deal.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that all of that crap I was supposed to swear and all of those spells that were on me, ugh disgusting, they don't apply anymore. So now I can tell you the real reason he asked again? Is that he has to ask three times before he can like, legally let you go. Skeleton rules, whatever. It's all really stupid.

So it's perfectly fine for you to refuse. Would he be sad, would his feelings be hurt? I mean, yeah, but not really any worse than they already have been with you turning him down twice already. At least then he could let it go. And then you can be with the Werewolf King.

No! I'm not being passive aggressive, I really do want to see you happy! We all want to see you happy. We all want to see the Werewolf King happy! I just feel really bad for my boss, because I love him, he's been kind of like a dad to me.

So I think that you should actually invite him down to the manor, and you can formally decline there. And at least that way he'll have some good emotional support from all of those nice puppy cousins, and he'll have a lot of food to drain of its flavor and a lot of flowers he can go wither to make himself feel better and maybe he can be just a little gay and prissy again.

And maybe you and him and the Werewolf King can sit down and talk all of this out like grown adults who love each other.

You are the protagonist in the middle of a love triangle situation, and it's going to get more and more insufferable the longer it goes on.

What I'm saying is you should all consider a throuple situation. The only way to defeat this stupid narrative that is trying to doom us all.

[sulumuns-dootah]

can I request a Paimon fic where they and MC go on a picnic date?

Paimon x gn!Reader - Chocolate covered strawberries♡

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

A/N: I haven't written anything for Paimon in so long and only now realised how much I missed it! No relationship is specified, but it is one where you two are okay with a lot of physical contact ^^

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

'Y/N~! Come quicklyyy! I'm at: ' a rather alarming message from Paimon read. The lack of emojis or any other indicator of tone or context made you worried about their safety after they sent you a location which indicates they're on the outskirts of Gehenna where angel attacks are more common.

Your fear is quickly replaced with confusion once yous tart nearing the place Paimon sent you. There are no signs of angels nor attacks. Instead, upon getting closer, you notice Paimon under one of the gorgeous, ancient Hell oaks on something that looks like pink tartan blanket.

It takes a second to shake away the adrenaline from thinking you're rushing to help a dying demon and only after the initial shock you finally realise what's actually happening.

"Pai, what is this? You almost scared me to death! I thought you were getting attacked!" you scold the adorable demon, still catching your breath from running most of the way and then having to climb the rather steep hill.

"Oh~?... I'm sorryyy, Y/N! I didn't mean tooo... It's just that I noticed that the chocolate on the straberries I made was starting to meltttt." Paimon sadly pouts, looking down at the red fruit in their hands.

Looking around you notice all the various foods and snacks alongside two full wine glasses and a bottle of your favorite drink. A... picnic?

Paimon notices your puzzled expression and giggles while getting up from the ground, handing you one fo the glasses that are now in their hands, "Well~, you did say nobody's ever invited you to a real dateeee, so I wanted to be the first oneee!"

"Aw, that's so sweet of you! Thanks!" you light up and accept the drink handed to you. Your legs slightly shake from the workout as you're sitting down while trying not to spill your drink.

"I hopeee you like what I've gotten for youuu! I asked His Majesty Satan to help me pickkk~!" Paimon takes their seat beside you and you only now realise why all of a sudden Satan liberated you of all duties for the rest of the day. He knew all along.

"Don't worry Pai, I'll like whatever you've picked for me! Sometimes you even know me better than I know myself!" you smile widely with genuine happiness.

"Aw~! Y/N~! You're so cuteee!" the demons queals and squishes their cheek against yours. A sweet smell of cotton candy and fruity bubblegum only now reaches your nose and it reminds you why you like Paimon so much. Their cheery attitude is a breath of fresh air amongst all the demons with dark auras.

The two of you sit, eat and chat for so long, the sun's gone down and the first shy stars start appearing on the darkening horizon. When you first came to Hell, you didn't expect to see stars with Heaven right above you, but as it turns out, there are visible stars, and even more beautiful than those on earth.

"Y/N~ I'm glad you're hereee. And I don't mean here as in hereee, but here in general~! You make us all so happyyy~" Paimon sighs, leaning back against a pillow next to you as you're both staring up at the millions of glowing dots.

"Aw, Pai! I'm super glad to be here too!" you giggle and lean back next to Paimon who pulls you in for cuddles.

As the night progresses, the two of you eventually fall asleep together only to be woken up in the morning by Zagan who was tasked to go look for you to make sure you're both okay.

[shamachan]

Hey-hi ray-ray!! If i may be so bold to request, Qiu and Tama christmas headcanons? Since its around the time for it :3

Tamarack + Qiu Christmas headcanonsꔛ

step 1!

Qiu

— I feel like he's a big fan of this kind of holidays - everyone's happy and smiling and enjoying themselves. and he's not an exception.

— He'll also make sure that he's house is decorated properly. Tinsel, a Christmas tree, all hung with multi-colored lights, mistletoes here and there, nice garlands in the house and outside of it... Isn't his house looks the best for upcoming Christmas?

— Qiu will surely come to your porch and be like "hey, how're you feeling about building snowmans in front of our houses?"

— and if you agree, it may end up with a little snowball fight. why? well, it's just entertaining to be all covered with snow, as if you're real snowmans here. and plus because he just adores the thought of spending as much cool and funny time as he can with you!

— I think he'll be into going snow sledding, whether on sleds or snow tubes! he might also take you, Boy's club and Tamarack for a ride on them with him.

— Qiu can also give you a small sleigh ride if you want! He'd be so-o-o smug about it.

— Autumn will also prepare a small gift for you, his favourite neighbour, you absolutely deserving it. Guessing it'll be a small drawing of you, according with a fairytale book and some candies like candy cane.

— ...don't know why, but i can imagine him wearing a Santa's hat while gifting you his present and he saying things like "you witnessed a real Santa Clause, now that's our shared secret. don't tell anyone!"

Tamarack

— Oh! Tamarack is the most excited one beyond anything in Golden Groove about Christmas!

— I'm sure she'll make a plenty hundred of snow angels on the ground, - be careful not to step on them! - and will invite you to come here to her house and do that with her! if you want to, you can do that in your house yard too! Tammy bets you'll have so much fun!

— If you get cold, Tamarack will offer you to drink tea with her and share her gingerbread cookies with you. She will give you some cookies to bring them to your home to eat them later too, if they're to your liking that is!

— her favourite element of this special day is a Christmas tree. like, "a piece of nature we can bring in our house and decorate it? yay!"

— wishes to Santa Clause for everyone who she cares about to feel nice and safe and sound all the new year. this is important!

— Tama loves to ask Omi and Opa to turn on some cheerful Christmas music, to the point that she knows the lyrics of all songs.

— she will sing a couple of her favorite songs to you too and ask if you like them. and if you answer her question positively, she will be so-so giggly and later show you other songs from her Christmas songs collection!

— Tamarack would prepare a gift for you too. Feeling like she'll give it straight in the morning of the Christmas celebration day, and it'll be a small Santa Claus and a Christmas tree figurines that you can hang on your own tree at home or let it stand in your room! both ways are working with her, Tammy's just happy to celebrate this day with you.

A/N: OMGG HEY HII REGULUS!! I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU! i absolutely LOVE the idea of this request sincerely thank uu!! <33

though the headcanons r kinda small, I put a little bit of my heart into this, ahaha^^ that was fun!:33

[jezabelle9299]

You're It for me S.R x FEM! reader

Overture- Your walking through a used bookstore when you spot an old magazine with your boyfriends face on the cover-- not for his academic ability

CWs- Comparison to Lila Archer, feeling replaceable, this is diet angst- I don't have the guts or skill for the truly heart wrenching, kissing

A/N- I was kind of picturing an early season 2 Spencer? Like they've been dating for a while, but like-- not more than maybe 2 years, so they're still a little bit nervous. Also this is the first of many things I'm doing this December so hopefully everything goes well and if you want to read any of the other things I'm doing you could do so HERE

Right in your favorite used bookstore, on top of some other old magazines, there it was. It caught your eye at first because of the vibrant photo— but when you stopped to look you saw a beautiful young actress rubbing her face onto your wonderful boyfriend's hand. You felt sick, but you pushed through it to buy the stupid thing so you could read it. 

You barely made it through the checkout line, pale as a ghost and wishing you’d never walked in there. Because why didn’t he tell you? The publishing date was only months before you started dating and he hated touch. Was this a long relationship? An intimate moment no one else was supposed to see?

By the time you got to your car you’d ripped the plastic covering off the magazine opening up the article about Lila Archer. You hadn’t really heard of her before, but she was gorgeous. The more you read about the ‘secret relationship’ between her and Spencer the more upset you got— until in one of the final sentences it said one of their reporters found them in a pool—fully clothed—making out. Spencer. Your germaphobic boyfriend who was nervous about so much as touching you in passing for your first 3 dates jumped into a pool to make out with someone he couldn’t have known for that long.

You sat on the couch in your apartment after a silent ride home. Spencer was supposed to meet you to spend some time together, he’d be landing any minute– but it was all you could do not to cry. It was before you were dating but you just felt– Insecure? Replaceable? You weren’t quite sure, but comparison stole your joy and left you with nothing but a sour mood and a boyfriend on his way to see you– one who was qualified to notice that you were upset nearly immediately upon seeing you. 

“Hey honey— I’m so glad I’m finally home. I’ve missed you so much.” He walked through the door, you’d told him so many times that he could come in without knocking– he even had his own key– and he moved straight to you. He leaned in to kiss you, but your lips were unrelenting, not soft like they usually were. You weren’t in the mood for romance right now and he wanted to figure out why. 

Not that you always had to be in the mood for physical touch, but usually when he got home from longer cases you were on him from the moment he walked through the door. He loved that— he missed that right now. 

“Is something wrong? Are you ok?”

“Yeah Spence, I’m fine.” You plastered on your best fake smile to no avail, only making Spencer more concerned in your efforts. 

“Did something happen while I was gone?”

“Nothing happened.” 

“I know you’re not telling me something. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.” Despite his words, his tone wasn’t accusatory at all. Only concerned. 

“I don’t need help— I just saw something that kind of… freaked me out is all.” You were really trying to downplay the effect that stupid magazine cover had on you.

“Did I leave one of my case files laying around? Oh honey I’m so sorry— I thought I picked them all up before I left.”He was wracked with guilt over something that didn’t even happen. 

“No Spencer it wasn’t that. It was a magazine? You were on the cover.” You thought he knew what you were talking about. I mean he’s been in a few science magazines for his academic ability, but nothing else like this. At least you certainly hoped not. 

“What magazine? From this month?” 

“No— it was a few months before we started dating. It was you and Lila Archer? I know it was before we started dating; and I know I have no right to be upset by it but it just— it just kind of took me by surprise, you know?”

“Oh. I forgot about that.” 

“You forgot about it? It said you were found fully clothed in her pool, and you just forgot?” You weren’t accusatory, just hurt—your voice was breaking by the end and you were still trying to look up at him. 

“It really wasn’t like that, I only knew her for a week— we were in LA because she was being stalked, I was supposed to be guarding her and she pulled me into the pool.” with just that one sentence he made it infinitely worse. He knew her for a week, and he wasn’t worried about her germs? What made her so different?

“You only knew her for a week?”

“Well–yes?” It was clear by the way he looked at you that he thought that would be a comforting notion. It was anything but. 

“On our first date you didn’t even want to touch me. You didn’t kiss me until we’d been dating for almost 2 weeks. I was perfectly fine with those things because I know you don’t really like touch but I need you to be honest with me about something. Do you just not like me as much? Because if you don’t that’s– well that’s ok. I mean I don’t want to be worried that you’re going to get a case in LA and find someone better.”

“Honey let me be perfectly clear– there is no one better. I love you more than anything or anyone on this Earth.” Spencer’s reassurance just wasn’t comforting you like it usually did. 

“Then–why? I mean do you just not think about me physically in that way?”

“I think the way I feel about you physically could easily be described as clingy and/or obsessed. You know this, sweetheart.” He held tightly onto your hands- rubbing the back of hand with his thumb

“Well now sure, but I honestly kind of thought you just weren’t attracted to me when we first started going out.”

“I was– and am for the record– extremely attracted to you. Some of my hesitance towards touching you was germ-based, but honestly I was just so ridiculously, extremely nervous around you that I was afraid to touch you and mess everything up.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, honey in case you hadn’t noticed you’re kind of it for me.” That feeling in the pit of your stomach finally subsided— giving way to the same feeling of love you always feel when Spencer wraps you in his arms. 

[meatball-headache]

Do I, though?

Oh. I can't wear it. What a surprise.

Hang on, let me check something real quick...

It's been more than five years and SE still can't figure out how to put hats on Viera. Not only that, but it's been five years and they're still making new hats that Viera can't wear. What is this? Laziness? Incompetence? Or is it just too technically difficult to make a hat that Viera can wea—

Oh, okay. Well, the Light-heavy hood I can at least wear, even though it deletes my ears. I guess there's some deep, inherent conflict that makes it impossible to have ears and a hat at the same ti—

Oh! Well, would you look at that. It's the Bozjan Hood of Fending, a hat that not only can Viera wear, but it has ears! So, clearly there's no technical limitation, it can be done. So why don't they?

Why fucking don't you, Yoshi?

This steams my onion on the daily. Viera have been out for five years and they still can't be bothered to make compatible hats for them. It's just laziness, because it's not like it's impossible, it's not like they can't figure it out, there are hats in-game that support ears! And, even better—there are mods that do it for ALL hats!

Yeah, two seconds on Google and I found like four mods that fixes ALL hats for Viera and Hrothgar. Something so impossible and technically challenging that SE hasn't been able to figure out how to do it in five years. The first versions of the mods were around 2021, two years after the races came out—so fans, who do this stuff in their free time, were able to figure out how to do it in two years, while SE, who's in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest video game credits, can't hire a full-time staffer to take care of it in five years?

What's really unacceptable, however, is when they add new real-money outfits that come with hats that Viera can't wear. They make a brand new outfit, charge real money for it, and then have the absolute gall to say "Oh yeah, it doesn't display for you. Fantasia is only $10 though!"

(I also think every game should let you remodel your character completely for free whenever you want. But, since people want that, they monetize it, so the shareholders will be pleased. But that's another discussion.)

I'd get the mod, but I don't use any mods, and I kinda like being "pure," judge me however you want—but, no one else would see me the way I see me, so it's half pointless. I'd create a cool character and they'd see something half complete... it bothers me enough wondering what people think about me when I at least know my portrait looks the same. But every day I lean closer to saying, fuck it, I paid for this game, it's mine to do with as I please.

Is there a mod that changes emotes? I always wanted the Shiva one :p

</rant>

[uhroras]

—  sentence starters  :  labyrinth,  1986.   content warnings : violence & death mention

"oh it's not fair!”

“well don't stand there in the rain, come on.”

“she treats me like a wicked stepmother in a fairy story no matter what i say.”

"there's nothing to talk about."

"someone save me, someone take me away from this awful place!"

"say your right words."

"goblin king, goblin king, wherever you may be, take this child of mine far away from me!!"

"what is all that rubbish, it doesn't even start with 'i wish' "

"i wish i did know what to say to make the goblins take you away"

"i wish the goblins would come and take you away. right now."

"what's said is said."

"please bring him back, please."

"it's a crystal, nothing more. but if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams."

"it isn't that i don't appreciate what you're trying to do for me but..."

"don't defy me."

"it's further than you think, time is short."

"excuse me, but i have to get through this labyrinth, can you help me?"

"well, what did you expect fairies to do?"

"do you know where the door to the labyrinth is?"

"how do i get into the labyrinth?"

"if that's all the help your gonna be, you can just leave."

"you know your problem? you take too many things for granted. take this labyrinth, even if you get to the center, you'll never get out again."

"you remind me of the babe."

"what kind of magic spell to use?"

"what a horrible place this is."

"she should not have gotten as far as the oubliette."

"she'll have to start all over again."

"i came to give you a hand."

"this is an oubliette, the labyrinth's full of them."

"oh don't sound so smart."

"if i thought for one second that you're betraying me, i'd be forced to suspend you head first in the bog of eternal stentch."

"how are you enjoying my labyrinth?"

"how about upping the stakes, hmm?"

"you say that so often, i wonder what your basis for comparison is?"

"how can i trust you?"

"well, let me put it this way, what choice have you got?"

"i said i didn't promise nothing, i said i would take you as far as i could go."

"please, can you tell......that is, i have to get to the castle at the center of the labyrinth, do you know the way?"

"the way forward, is sometimes the way back."

"you may not be much of a friend, but you're the only friend i got in this place."

"well i'm not afraid, things aren't always what they seem in this place."

"is that anyway to treat someone who is trying to help you?"

"which should we choose out of these two ugly characters?"

"i see...for one moment i thought you were running to help her, but, uh, no, not after my warnings, that would be stupid."

"i just noticed your lovely jewels are missing."

"oh, what did you have to go and do a thing like that for?"

"so much trouble over such a little thing."

"there's such a sad love, deep in your eyes."

"i'll place the sky within your eyes."

"as the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you. every thrill is gone, wasn't too much fun at all."

"i'll be there for you - as the world falls down."

"we're choosing the path between the stars."

"i'll leave my love between the stars."

"you can't look where you're going if you don't know where you're going."

"i shall fight you all to the death."

"i don't see why we have to be so quiet....it's only a goblin city."

"im not asking to be to forgiven, i ain't ashamed of nothing i did."

"they got through the gates, and they're on their way to the castle."

"i've had enough, i'm going to bed."

"how you turn my world you precious thing."

"you starve and near exhaust me."

"everything i've done, i've done for you."

"i move the stars for no one."

"your eyes can be so cruel."

"i have been generous up until now, but i can be cruel."

"let me rule you, and you can have everything you want."

"just fear me, love me, do as i say and i will be your slave."

"my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great. you have no power over me."

[utilitycaster]

for the controversial opinions thing: Neve and Lucanis's romantic relationship is good actually.

obviously, agreed; I literally considered the potential of their relationship to be an outright selling point for the game, and I've alluded heavily to it in a few posts, but time to actually talk about it.

I don't think you can ENTIRELY discount all criticism on the basis of the fans from which it comes, because that's an oversimplification that fails to provide any sort of defense, just a counter-attack. WITH THAT SAID it does feel like the vast majority of criticism of the relationship comes from people who have a very "I can fix him...and ONLY I can fix him" attitude towards the Rook/Lucanis romance option and are looking for something fraught and dramatic and angsty and are mad that Lucanis is not looking for that in his relationship, either with Rook or with Neve. Like, I cannot stress that the fact that the most popular non-Crow Lucanis romance option is Rook Mercar is WILD to me when it should be the least popular by a country mile has been ENLIGHTENING to say the least. I definitely think the fact that Neve is a woman of color does not HELP but I think even people who like Neve and are not being racist or misogynistic towards her are still mad that Lucanis is depicted as, well, bisexual but not playersexual, and he still has clear preferences and Neve is among them. (I have NOT seen the same criticism among Neve romancers which is interesting to me and I think that again while racism/misogyny play a part, I don't think people are interested in that same I Can Fix Her/I Am Her OTP narrative).

Anyway getting to the actual relationship and why it's good: Neve and Lucanis are both people who are quite private about their lives but in different ways. Neve doesn't show vulnerability out of cynicism and the way she's had to force herself not to get too invested because she's lost people in her line of work, whereas Lucanis doesn't because he is proud. Neve's response to you choosing Treviso is "you don't care about Dock Town; most people don't and it bothers me but I can't show it does, because if I did I couldn't go on doing my work." Lucanis's response to you choosing Minrathous is "I begged for your help publicly and you turned me down, so I'm never asking for your help again." And they both, despite those separate motivations, instantly get how the other feels. Neve doesn't blame Lucanis because she's also fighting for her city! Lucanis doesn't have the same hangups about Neve because she was ALSO begging for help.

From what I know they also romance each other in a way not unlike how they romance Rook, and I think that's indicative of like, a well-formed character with clear preferences. Like, they are people who would, indeed, like each other. Everyone in the Veilguard has a great deal of pride in what they do, that's kind of the point, but Lucanis is an extremely patient and cautious person in romance, and Neve responds to that! If you're not going to do a full wisp stakeout with her she's not interested! And Neve is both extremely kind towards Lucanis and supports you telling him he shouldn't be used to Spite taking control, but doesn't turn this into a melodramatic "oh you poor thing" production, and a lot of what Lucanis wants is to be treated kindly but normally.

The canon banter they have about the relationship with other companions really boils down to, well, I know it gets used a lot, but the EEAAO Laundry and Taxes line. They are both people who have suffered greatly but what they're looking for is someone who will make them coffee at four in the morning and be patient when they're not forthcoming. Essentially they're BOTH really sensitive to being treated as A Project To Be Fixed and want someone who will not do that, and who will instead be patient and domestic and blissfully undramatic with them and give them space to open up rather than push them.

I started to go off about this in the tags and realized I should put it in the post but: I think a lot of people DO understand the companions/factions are all genre stories but DON'T get that the companions do NOT (with the possible exception of Taash) want their romance to be that genre. Lucanis is in a soap opera and Neve is in a detective story and BOTH of them want their love life to be a respite from that, not more of the same.

[eliotlime]

November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

or

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[funsizedkola]

She's A Maniac [part 1]

So I got REAL INSPIRED by @keferon 's Mecha Pilot AU (and got me liking JazzProwl overall thanks to it despite me being a Recent Transformers fan) and what really got my interest piqued was the fact that due to Quintessons, the Autobots and Deceptions joined forces in this AU. So! That inspired me a bit with this!

Though as you will see, what really took over here was the idea of what Elita One would be in a setting like this so, pardon my indulgence in this post. (And I like megoplita so sue me~)

They want her retired.

It's not outright said, but Swindle's grin and flattering words can't conceal what he's trying to encourage. Boardroom executives, sponsors, spokespeople, they're all the same to her at this point in her life. Ever since she was a fresh young recruit she never lost the feeling that she can only could rely on fellow pilots to be honest with her. If you're not going through the same agonizing road of misery all recruits live through (if they survive, even) then you can't understand her life.

And certainly don't have the right to direct where she should go.

"Our wonderful, exemplary Ariel-"

"Captain," calmly and yet with no spared patience is what emits with her narrowed eyes. The poster behind her in her office shows the girl that used to still respond to that name. Hopeful, radiant maybe, eyes gleaming like the polish of the mech she pilots in distant view. Ponytail bouncy with the abundant energy she once had as her smile expressed faith in the future. Everyone's future.

You wouldn’t recognize that girl at first glance in the woman glaring holes at this man's head. A few noticeable streaks of white now run through her strawberry blonde hair as the fire before is searing hot coals serving as her eyes. The way Swindle rubbed his hands shows he's maybe second guessing this conversation. Especially with what else he thought was also necessary to discuss.

"You understand, don't you? Progress must march on if we want to see results-"

"And you think sending Rumble and Frenzy to follow where Jazz was last heard is the way to do it?" Venomous, her fist fell on her desk as she soon stood up. "The children, next on the chopping block after the fully grown man failed to respond back? Who shouldn't have been put in that program in the first place you son of a-"

"W-Well, the decision has already been made so really you're only being informed as a formality-"

Oh, why bother with words anymore? The same snarl Elita would give to the enemy kaiju is what sends the suited man running out the door. By the way he scurried down the hall as she yells obscenities his way she knows there's nothing more she can do. He's at times just the glorified messenger boy with decisions like these in hopes that by the time she's found a proper suit or sponser or whatever to shake around she won't be as mad. But no, this weathered soul isn't so keen on lying down on this matter.

"Wooow~ They're going to definitely find a way to fire you if you keep that up."

Blurr isn't perturbed by the look thrown his way, cool and composed as he was leaning against the wall like he overheard quite the show to stop by. With how it's the longest he's initiated any conversation with her, he must of been very amused by what was said in there. Casual smile paired by serious eyes as he leans in, poster boy for the masses advising to former poster girl for new recruits. "Unfortunately he is right. No matter what you do, you can't change their minds on this. Whatever suggestion was offered is already a done deal."

Any non pilot saying this would have their throat grabbed. But as much as she yearns to disagree she can't throw away the reality he's delivering to her. With how prized a pilot Jazz is, the chance that they have gone and lost one of their best assets have backpedaled the hopes the higher ups have of gaining an advantage in this war. Now, anyone else they will consider sending will be those they consider to be... significantly expendable.

.

.

.

And maybe.

Perhaps also those they wish to be rid of.

"... Okay I don't know if I like that look in your eyes."

"Oh, really? I'll take that as a good sign then," is all the senior pilot says as she then starts heading to where the boardroom is.

Bemused, Blurr watches at the faded burgundy from her jacket leaves his line of sight before he looks back at her office. For a second he wondered if he saw just a hint of that spunky pilot in that framed poster in her eyes. Though he mainly is looking at said artwork to remember what exactly was her name.

Elita One: "I'll see you on the battlefield!"

Ah right, that's what she goes by.

- - -

"You're going too?!"

Ah, she knew she forgot something. Tiredly drinking the rest of her coffee, Elita just let Hot Rod rage on and get some of this indignation out of his system. Though when his angry tirade turns to him accusing certain people of using this as a chance to cowardly do away with her she then raised a finger and shook her head. "I volunteered," she corrected.

"WHAT?!"

"Told you," Wheeljack adds unhelpfully as Hot Rod just looks to him striding in with a stack of reports about her currently reconstructing mech, then to her, and for a moment looks almost hurt dare she say.

She gives a rare apologetic smile. "I was meaning to tell you all, but I had my hands full by all this preparation for me and the twins."

"But. But. You don't have to. Just say the word and I'll step in. I'll find Jazz and keep those two safe as well-" Oh how earnest he sounds. She doesn't doubt his conviction with how he's been arguably the most affected pilot since they heard that one of their own may for all they know be lost in space with no hope of return. "Captain, we need you here!"

"One way or another I can't ignore the risk that they will find a way to get rid of me once and for all. So at least through this it would be by my decision," Elita points out before patting his arm. He's not as visibly worn with burden like she is, but he looked even younger once. A prodigy in spirit and strength as she one time carried him after an excruciating round of tests left him unable to walk. He didn't ask for her help but she told him what he needs to do if he wishes to keep going and be one of the blazing warriors of history instead of the tragic burnt matches sent for cremation. "And I appreciate the offer. But no, you're needed more than me. You know I only got so much time left till it's time for me to meet my sisters."

It's not like she doesn't see why he remains unconvinced. And she gets a feeling he won't be the only pilot attempting to in some way convey refusal of her decision as word will now spread. The main reason she evaded the path of high office promotions other pilots ventured off to was so there's as least one more person there for the new recruits to turn to. To say for them the things they are afraid to voice till they've grown wise enough to walk on their own. But she knew one day she will have to let go and just hope for the best, as she taps Hot Rod on the chest.

"If you ask me, it's time for you to see if Captain is a right fit for you as well."

- - -

There's two reasons Elita can guess why Rumble and Frenzy were picked for this 'retrieval mission'.

One. They are a PR disaster waiting to happen. That's due to their controversial background of orphans being picked for the program. A convenient lack of parents unable to refuse rights to them made them easy pickings to be handed over from whatever foster care organization was receptive to bribes. But the longer the war wanes the more the public is willing to start aiming criticisms to the mech program and where there is smoke, there will be a fire to inevitably be posted to all news and media outlets.

Two. They are a PR disaster waiting to happen. The experiments they had to go through were far from gentle but it did nothing to tame their already wild personalities. If anything, it only made them worse. If you were a pilot they might listen to you, and even then depending on their mood it's a maybe. Jazz was one of the few that handled those troublemakers with ease and since his departure from Earth they've made their worries for him everyone's problem. His easygoing attitude and way of entertaining them was how he unintentionally got them to listen to him.

But. Elita can't say why the twins listen to her in her case. Intimidation, one may say. Perhaps being the closest they will get to a maternal figure despite her stern demeanor, another may comment. Or maybe the terror twins know to fall in line when the scarier pilot is in the room, another will add in. Whatever reason, she can't complain as they follow her lead in preparing for their mission. They delight in the new shiny suits they get to try on before attempting to look serious in her presence. It breaks her heart how they slowly try acting less their age in little ways and so she comments her approval for her own new attire so they can relax and get back to being eager. Any moment they can have to laugh between difficult rounds of training cannot be swept away.

As they tell each other how they definitely will show off to the others how much cooler they look, she glances at her reflection from the leg of her upgraded mech. Maybe one of the designers was feeling nostalgic as the shade of pink reflected more the hues she had in her early days. A contrast to the darker tones of magenta and wine red she preferred to adorn herself with when she no longer had the energy to smile for the camera. A sendoff to her once envious legacy, she morbidly thinks before seeing that some of the pilots have arrived in the hangar.

For some, it's the last chance their comrades will get to say goodbye and wish them luck before they are called away for combat. Elita appreciates the thought as she sees the twins gang up on a nervous First Aid, hoping that this isn't it for them. Or at the very least, the children will get to return to earth again.

"A badge?" She comments as she's handed a vibrant piece of metal that can magnetize to her suit. "You shouldn't have."

Hot Rod grins as he shows two smaller ones he's no doubt readied for Rumble and Frenzy. Before handing her another regular sized badge that has her raise a brow before she realizes.

"Give this to Jazz when you find him."

When. Not if. She's glad at least he is stubbornly having faith in their perilous pilgrimage. Clasping his hand she gives a nod before she lets herself be pulled in a hug. "I will," she promises him, knowing he needs to hear her resolve. "And I'll remind him that you still owe him money from your last bet."

The waver in his laugh has her close her eyes. Steeling herself as she knows the ones they'll leave behind will cry enough for her.

- - -

"Rumble, Frenzy, report! Report!"

Way to soon after their send off, they have somehow managed to end up in a swarm of enemies. Blasting away at the eyes of one of them, Elita frantically searched around for any sign of the stealth mechs she had ended up separated from. Is it damaged comms? Are they too occupied with fighting or running? Or maybe, they're already- no. No she won't guess till she's seen them herself. Wherever they are on this rock of a planet, she'll be there.

"Elita! You'll never guess what I found!!!" The joyful voice of a girl still way too young for active service is now calling her.

"Frenzy? Where are you and your brother?!" Alerts blaring have her picking up her last kaiju victim by the tentacles as she whips it around to stun it's comrades attempting to surround her.

"Hey I was the one to find him first!" Rumble, he's alive too oh thank-

"Well he patted me first so there!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yu-huh!"

"Nu-uh!!!"

"Yu-huh!!!"

"STATUS. REPORT."

The pair of "Yes ma'am"s have her heaving a sigh as she looks down on one of her toes feebly attempting to grab her armored leg. "Kids, am I right?" She says dryly before stomping on its head, green muck now staining her. So much for a pristine paint job.

"Contact with good guys have been made, ma'am!"

"There's this really cool one we wanna keep, ma'am!"

"Can we, please? Ma'am!"

"Alright enough with the- wait what are you saying...?" She trails off, not liking the implication that there's something else out there that's not one of identifiable tentacle monsters she's been fighting for most of her life. Whatever chatter the twins are having to scheme to her agreeing is no longer her focus as she's got a larger tentacle wrapping itself around the head of her mech. Immediately kicking away, she growled as she sees this big guy is smart and is keeping her at enough distance from his weak points. Just what she needs, one of the tankier enforcers to show up.

Quickly she's attempting to take aim to wherever she can hit first, limb, neck(?), maybe the eyes-

Blade.

There's a glowing blade going through the alien's torso.

Feeling her captor's balance careen, Elita readies herself to roll on the rocky ground. Immediately getting to untangling the now limp tentacle from herself. And also getting ready for another fight because whatever just saved her has yet to earn her ease with how she now sees an imposing figure attached to said glowing axe. Monster wriggling away in halves, the more metal being steps over it to her direction.

Eyes.

Bright blue eyes is what she sees, vibrant on this planet only lit by distant stars and moons. Nothing like anything she's ever seen on any mech like construct as it's like she's actually being perceived.

The axe it wields is now shrinking before somehow it's replaced with a hand, the sight feeling more mythical rather than engineered. Now both hands are held up as if to convey peace as he pauses in front of her.

A voice is what she's hearing, but it's not one she can understand. It certainly doesn't sound human either which has her hackles raised once more, stepping back.

The way this red and blue mech tilts it's head as if in thought has her nearly laugh as something so mighty and tall somehow looks a tad approachable. But no, she can't be wasting time here as she drags her eyes away.

"I. Appreciate the help but I have to go and look for my own now," she manages to say as she wonders if it would be too rude to run off. But her sensors indicating forms heading her way have her looking to see the young pilots running to her. Sheer relief waves over her as she hurries forth to bend down and let them crash into her open arms, their chatter and barely even dented mechs assuring her that they're okay, for now they're alright.

Though she draws back with a frown. "You two. Need to improve your communication on the field," she stated.

"Really? I thought we did great," Frenzy says, her brother nodding as she internally sighs. "And look, it's our new friends!"

The relief of finding these two distraction her from the full scale of approaching mass their way is what soon is realized to Elita, looking up to see two more mechs walking their way.

They. Do not look as approachable as the first one. One is darker blue with a gleaming red visor that has her feel like she's being scanned, and the other one has red eyes pinpointed on them.

And a face. It has a proper face.

Somehow, it has a mouth. That moves. That can't be made by metal, no way does such material deliver such a menacing scowl with ease like that. Abruptly standing to place herself between those two and the kids, she could of sworn silver head is now smirking but she's not wanting to waste time on chances that could lead to bodily harm now that she has the twins.

"Rumble, Frenzy, go. Now!" She ordered, but she just gets vehement shaking heads as they tug at her hands.

"No, they're the good guys! Like we said!"

"Yeah, they saved us! Well, more like the blue one was doing that as the grey guy just killed aliens."

Judging from the amount of green splatters on said stranger she is inclined to believe that.

"So, can we keep him? That guy is so cool!" Rumble pleads as he waves at Red Visor who gives a little wave back. "I promise we'll do whatever you say Captain!"

"Yeah! We'll be perfect soldiers!"

They no doubt will be pleading from within their cockpits which, while cute to imagine, does not dissuade said Captain from tapping them on the heads. "No."

"Pleaaaaase! Please please please! We'll name him and everything!"

"Take him on walks!"

"Won't use him in our pranks!"

"You already should be following my orders to stay safe," The tired woman stressed, feeling tempted to remove her helmet to rub her forehead. "And besides, I'm pretty sure they can't talk to us so what's the use in keep them around? Chances are they already have their own designations but not like we'll know what they are!"

The static she keeps getting when trying to contact home base is also not helping her stress here. Improved communications her foot, she should of known they would of been stuck going no contact with any one human being this far away from Earth. As the twins keep pleading as they cling to her legs, she feels too worn out to even think about how undignified she must look to these other mech users.

"Optimus Prime."

Pausing, she slowly turns to where she hears that voice from. Sure enough, Axe Guy has stepped forth and the tone she just heard somehow just. Fits. Deep, and yet rich with humble gravitas...?

"That would be my designation. May I have the honor of learning yours?"

[jullbnt]

I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you meant about EoW? What does it change if the Golden Goddesses die first and only create Hyrule after being reincarnated? Sorry if it's obvious haha, maybe I'm missing something ^^

I have no problem with the Three creating the entire world, that's what I understand from the "creation myth" told by the Deku Tree in OoT. The thing I have some issues with is that EoW implies that rifts have always opened throughout Hyrule even though that's never been mentioned before. But I understand that Nintendo wants to create new villains/lore and it also doesn't contradict everything that was established before, so I can live with it (and I'm really pleased that the Triforce and all are back). I guess we just need to imagine that it all happened off-screen and that the Tris always managed to close the rifts on their own before EoW. Another thing is that I thought Demise already represented primordial chaos, but maybe I was only mislead by his French name (Avatar du Néant = Avatar of the Void).

(Btw did you see that Nintendo added EoW to the official timeline a few days ago? It's no big surprise that it's on the DT between Triforce Heroes and LoZ, but it's still great to see it confirmed!)

Yes I've thought of having the dragons from SS die at some point and get replaced by the new ones from BotW (because as you said the thunder dragon demonstrated that they can die). That's one possibility I have in mind and it's probably the easiest way to do this, but I'd still prefer for them to be the same dragons from SS. I still need to think about it (as well as many other things) ^^

Since I'm not a fan of the Zonai I won't advocate for the dragons to keep the third eye haha! But it could have looked cool. I'm not sure they already had the Zonai in mind when they designed the dragons though, that's probably the explanation for the third eye's disappearance. Yes the thicker part at the end of their bodies and the big spike look a bit weird! That leonin tail would have looked good, especially on the Light Dragon since she also has a golden mane. I'm glad they didn't keep the giant horns though, they were a bit much.

I actually like the singing in SS (and Link's reactions), especially when they all gather to perform the Song of the Hero! It's mostly Faron's voice during dialogues that doesn't sit right with me. And the faces definitely look uncanny!

It's fine if you don't like this theory about the dragons! I'm not 100 % sold myself, just trying to make things work because I think having two separate sets of dragons with names inspired by the Goddesses is a bit confusing (especially if we add the Light Spirits on top of that). Water and ice are kind of the same element to me, but maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see 😆

Oh these dragon redesigns are so cool!! Let me just add a link to the original post to credit the artist (charcoaldustonmyfingers) in case anyone is still reading this.

Yes the dragons looked more unique in SS but they were actual characters so it makes sense that they would be more detailed. The names sound cool but maybe they would require an explanation as to why the Goddesses' names were mixed ^^

Oh you're right about the symbols on their foreheads in SS, I completely forgot about that. Guess I can't really act like it's not there haha! But I'll never be able to associate Farore with water and Nayru with thunder, it's really frustrating.

Yes Rauru could have mentioned that to Link, or maybe to Zelda when he explains he's the first king. And you're right they should have included something about Sonia and Rauru's descendance and the disparition of the Zonai, otherwise it just looks like a gigantic plot hole.

I know about Rhoam's diary of course ^^ It's just that I was never fully convinced by the idea that Zelda simply lacked a teacher so I tend to forget that the game provided this explanation (and I'm so used to my own headcanons that sometimes I forget they're just that). Mipha tried to help Zelda by explaining how her own magic worked, and (even though it's the cheesiest thing ever) it's rather obvious that she meant to say she accessed her healing powers by thinking about someone she loved, aka Link. Since Zelda's power awakes when she's trying to save Link, it seems Mipha was right. If so, Zelda's mother wasn't the only one who could have taught her, and maybe Rhoam should have sought the help of other magic wielders to train his daughter (kind of weird that he didn't). I really don't like the idea that Zelda's power works the same way as healing magic and that all she needed was love, but that's what the game implies (unless I'm completely wrong).

Also we don't know whether the queen and her ancestors actually possessed the same sealing power as Zelda. Being able to hear the voices of spirits is nowhere near being able to seal Ganon, but maybe the real sealing power only manifests when the Calamity appears (who knows). The thing is, that would make every woman born in the royal family a potential "Zelda". And I know it's not clear whether all Zeldas are the same person like Link is or if they only share the blood of the Goddess, but I like to think she gets reincarnated the same way Link does so that they can reunite (OoT Zelda mentions that Link is familiar to her). It just sounds weird that Hylia would make sure her Hero gets reborn over and over again but not her (and it might just be that everyone in Hyrule gets reincarnated anyway, just look at characters like Impa, Dampé or Beedle). And if all of Hyrule's princesses potentially inherit Hylia's power and just need a teacher, it sounds a lot less special. What about this "legend of Zelda", you know?

(It's also kind of dumb that no queen ever thought something like this could happen and took the time to write some sort of user manual, especially when it seems pretty common for queens to die quite young in Hyrule. I mean we've seen plenty of kings but never Zelda's mother)

Let's also remember that no other Zelda before had this sealing power, except maybe for Sky Zelda/Sun. So now if other random queens and princesses can inherit it, that would make them more powerful than all the Zeldas we know. That's another reason why I believe the Wild Era doesn't fit at the end of any of the three timelines, unless the Goddesses also changed the rules for Zelda's power when/if they merged the timelines.

My headcanon is that Zelda is the only one who can wield Hylia's power, so her mother being alive might not have made a difference. I like to believe that any Zelda needs to do the whole Skyward Sword pilgrimage with the Goddess Harp in hand in order to awake her divine nature, but of course this knowledge would get lost to time and no princess ever does it (though BotW Zelda was only missing the harp and specific rituals). In the end Zelda's desire to save Link and the bond between them as Hero and Princess would be enough of a trigger for her to bypass the rituals and access her power anyway (but not Hylia's memory as she does in SS). That's how I try to make what happens in BotW work with previous lore, but that's only my take.

Anyway I also like to believe the Queen was assassinated by the Yiga clan! I've seen this theory quite often in fanfic and it's pretty credible. I also like the idea that the "blood of the Goddess" part of Demise's curse would apply to the entire Hylian population.

I'm doing my best to find TotK's lore and story interesting, but it just doesn't do it for me. I listened to QuestWithAaron's videos (I actually think I already did so last year) and though the references to Japanese culture are evident and interesting, I just don't think it's enough to make a good story. Maybe I'm a bit too harsh, I don't know, or it's just not for me. I think Ganondorf is most interesting when he is his own character with his own motive (like Wind Waker Ganondorf), I don't want him to be nothing more than the incarnation of Demise's hatred once he gets his Secret Stone. I like the idea of Calamity Ganon being his lingering resentment or something like that, but when it comes to Ganondorf the man I expect something more. I would have loved a deeper exploration of his character with some nuance and maybe bits of his past. It had been 17 years since TP, we missed him! Now I'm not even sure we'll ever see him again and all we got was "I want to conquer" and then "I want to destroy", just because he's evil. And his little speeches about peace-loving cowards and how the world should be shrouded in darkness really didn't impress me. Sorry if this sounds harsh, I'm just so disappointed.

I agree about some of the tech, I actually really like the wings and the flame/laser throwers. I found the Mesoamerican influence interesting for the Zonai, but I think it doesn't fit the Hylians ^^

I would have disliked the Zonai a lot less if everything wasn't about them, sure. I think I would have been really happy with them being a new race populating the Depths for example, and that's kind of what I'm doing in my rewrite where I think they'll just be evolved Mogma. TotK would be a very different game without the Zonai/Rauru playing a major role though.

The thing with the "Zonai" from BotW is that this all gets very confusing. According to BotW/Creating a Champion they were a civilization mainly based in Faron Woods that worshiped a water dragon (which either means Naydra, Faron from SS or simply the river Dracos). Their statues also heavily imply that they worshiped the three aspects of the Triforce, represented by an owl (wisdom), a boar (power) and a dragon (courage). To me that sounds more like the ancestors of the Hylian themselves. And interestingly Faron in SS is associated with both water and courage (even though I don't like it haha), so the "water dragon" might really be a reference to SS. Many fans also assumed that the barbarian armor set was linked to the Zonai because its description mentioned "a warlike tribe from Faron".

Then according to TotK, the Zonai are from the sky (though they also mined the Depths), they are not a barbarian tribe but a technologically advanced race close to the gods, and one of them even was the first king of Hyrule. Also they are not shown to live in Faron Woods, and their clothing/armor looks nothing like the barbarian set. So either the Zonai had a weird barbarian phase at some point (I wouldn't expect that from sky beings but alright), either people at Nintendo simply changed their mind and retconned the Zonai from BotW.

I also don't really like the idea of Hylian-Zonai hybrids, I don't want to imagine how that works 😆 (sorry). But even if the Zonai from BotW were hybrids, the barbarian/savage/warlike part doesn't really make sense. I also can't imagine the Hero being anything but a Hylian and anyone but Link (same for Zelda), and at least if Nintendo was going to drop this Ancient Hero thing I think we were owed some sort of explanation ^^

Oh yes the gotcha machines and disposable technology were terrible, 100 % agree!

Your explanation about the Triforce vs. the Secret Stone wasn't confusing, I understand what you meant! Though I think the nature of Demon King Ganondorf is similar to that of Demise in TotK, so I still find it hard to believe that a Secret Stone would allow him to do something Demise could not (aka easily break the Master Sword). But maybe there's also a possibility that the Sword lost some of its power along the way, who knows. I also think Ganondorf has been able to corrupt the Triforce of Power before, to me that's what happens when he transforms into Ganon (he gets so drunk on power and resentment that he turns into a mindless beast that looks a lot like Calamity Ganon, and that's why Link needs the Master Sword). But I don't know, that's definitely interesting to think about!

I love Minish Cap too, it was one of my first Zelda games as well! In fact I was just replaying it last month. BotW's map definitely references locations from MC, but there are also places like Koholit Rock or Brynna Plain so it might just be more easter eggs. I'll try to see how it can work with my version of Hyrule ^^ Though my main problem with MC is more it's story. I can see perfectly how OoT follows SS, but when I try to fit MC between the two things start getting a bit clunky.

You know I don't get to discuss Zelda lore and timeline stuff in depth IRL, so this is really entertaining for me. I don't mind when you go on tangents, quite the contrary! I just hope this isn't too much scrolling 😆

Hi, sorry if this is a bit rude. 😅 I guess that I was just wondering. How would Jabul Waters, Zora Cove, & Crossflows Plaza be named in French?

I'm trying to give Jabul Waters an interesting name that works to go with my hc & I came up with "Jabuleaux." And Google Translate tells me that Crossflows Plaza would be Place des Flux Croisés. And, I'm seeing that Anse is the term to refer to a cove &, if that's true, then would Zora Cove be Zoranse? At the same time, somewhere else, it said that Anse actually means beach.

And, I believe that a town by a swamp would have cher, quier, bren, brin, or Hor- in it?

I'm sorry if this is weird... 😅

Hi! Don't worry it's not rude or weird at all! I offered to help and I'm happy to do so :D

Did you check the official French translations? I had a surprisingly hard time finding the French version of the map online so here's a screenshot I took myself:

Jabul Waters = Eaux de Jabule (this one only appears when I zoom out)

Zora Cove = Baie Zora

Crossflows Plaza = Place de l'Estuaire

In case you didn't know the Zelda Wiki often lists names for places or characters in various languages in the "Nomenclature" section of its pages. It's very helpful especially if you're searching for the original Japanese names. If we look at at the different names for Crossflows Plaza we can see that a literal translation from Japanese would be something like "Exchanging Place". I checked the Jisho dictionary and it seems to be an accurate translation, though "Place for Cultural Exchanges" would be more meaningful.

It's not exactly a good name in English so it makes sense that the localization team would come up with something like Crossflows Plaza instead, which in my opinion does a very good job of stating that this is both the place where the river meets the sea and where the two Zora tribes traditionally meet each other.

Other European languages all settled for variations of "Estuary Plaza" ("Place de l'Estuaire" in French), which is fine but looses the "cultural exchanges" aspect of both the original name and the English translation.

I've been trying to come up with a French translation of "Crossflows Plaza" but it's not that easy. To me "Place des Flots Croisés" or "Place Flots-Croisés" would sound better than "Place des Flux Croisés", but I still find it a bit weird ("flot" meaning flow, tide or stream). "La Croisée des Flots" is another option if you agree to get rid of Plaza/Place (it means "the intersection/junction of streams"), but I don't think it works very well as a name.

You could also mix words to create a name the same way it was done in English, something like "Place Croiseaux" (croiser/cross + eau/waters). If any of my French speaking followers is feeling inspired, please share your ideas! :)

(I just thought of "Place Cruciflot" and found it too funny not to mention 😆 maybe it sounds too much like crucifix)

In French we also have the word "confluence" that has the exact same meaning as it does in English: either the meeting of two rivers or a gathering of some kind. So to me the most obvious translation would be something like "Place des Confluences" or maybe "Place Confluence", as it would preserve the dual meaning, but it's not very fancy or creative. Maybe we could simply change the spelling to something like Place Konfluans, the same way "Village Côtier" (Seaside Village) is spelled "Village Kothié" (Seesyde Village). But it doesn't look like a French word anymore so I'm not sure that's something you'd like.

As for Jabuleaux, it can work but I prefer the official translation "Eaux de Jabule". Same thing for Zoranse, we would say "Anse Zora" or "Anse des Zora". The official French translation is "Baie Zora" (Zora Bay), which I think is more appropriate given the size of the sea inlet (in my understanding an anse/cove is a small baie/bay and isn't very deep). I think maybe it should have been bay in English as well instead of cove, but I might be wrong! Also I believe "anse" isn't used as often as "baie" and might be confusing for most people, so I would go with "Baie Zora".

I'm not sure where you found this information about swamps and town names? I didn't find anything to confirm it but I might not have looked in the right places.

French towns are often ancient and their names can derive from other languages such as Celtic, Occitan, Flemish, or regional dialects, so that's a very difficult question and I'm not sure I can give you a satisfying answer ^^

I still did a little search and found an Old French word for swamp, "palud" or "palu", that still appears in some town names such as La Palud-sur-Verdon, Saint-Pierre-la-Palud, Lapalud, etc. (today we say "marais" or "marécage"). You might be right about "bren", it could be something like muddy in Gallic.

There's also "vign" or "mign" (from Celtic), as in Mignéville or Lévignac, or l'Île de Migneaux on the Seine river (this one's in my city!).

Near where I grew up is a town named Hazebrouck, it literally means "hare swamp" (brouck/broek = swamp in Flemish). For a bit more French flavor you could maybe use -broucq or -breucq instead of -brouck.

I think the vast majority of French people have no clue about all of that (I didn't except for the last one and it's more Flemish than French), so I'd say don't oversweat it ;)

And that's all! I hope you'll find this helpful ^^

[pseudophan]

i'm so extremely irrationally annoyed by people not knowing what various terms mean and using them incorrectly like i feel like that's such an asshole thing to care about but oh my god stop

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'